#kay i feel better now (somewhat) time to post some funnies

[kuroharukawada]

Four probably teases them for not knowing BFDI fun fact #291033 (literally the most obscure piece of trivia imaginable)

[ikatakoirl]

How To Write A Comic Relief Character That Doesn’t Suck

So. We all know the comic-relief character trope. The one who doesn’t do much but tags along because of their “loyalty” and falls on their face every now and then for us to laugh at whenever the tension gets too high. But then at the end they have their heroic moment and prove wrong everyone who ever doubted them! Only for them to go back to exactly how they were before in the resolution. Right?

NO! WRONG! THROW IT IN THE GARBAGE! In this post I’m going to give some ideas of how to add comic relief elements to a story without devaluing any of the characters! First of all, let’s start with some examples! I'll explain most of my choices throughout the post. I'm hoping I provided enough examples that everyone can recognize at least one in each category! I’ve also done my best to make direct comparisons.

Comic Relief Characters Done Poorly

Ronald Weasley (Harry Potter)

Neville Longbottom (Harry Potter)

Haymitch Abernathy (The Hunger Games)

Lance McClain (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Loki (MCU, before the Disney+ series)

Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug)

Luigi (Super Mario)

Goggles (Coroika)

Comic Relief Characters Done Well

Fred and George Weasley (Harry Potter)

Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson and the Olympians)

Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games)

Sokka (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

Peter Parker/Spider-Man (MCU)

Chat Noir (Miraculous Ladybug)

Sonic the Hedgehog [depends on which show/game ofc]

Skull (Coroika)

Reki Kyan (Sk8 the Infinity)

Kai (The Hollow)

No Laughing Matter

It’s great to have a character who struggles with clumsiness or feeling incompetent! But what if you tried actually taking those concerns seriously? Instead of the divert-with-comedy-and-never-readdress approach, make your character turn angry or sensitive. (Or the best of both worlds, tsundere!) Really get into their head and explore how that incompetence is affecting them. Bonus points if they actually fail something of consequence! How do they react to this failure? Do they have people supporting them, and if so, how? And if instead the character is on the outs and constantly the butt of jokes, how does that affect their psyche? Maybe they’ll throw themselves into training or practicing to become better, but maybe all they need is a reminder of where their strengths do lie so that they can use them better to their advantage next time! I actually challange you to separate the klutz character from the comic relief character! It may be funny to watch people falling down on Reddit, but it doesn’t make for a compelling character that people will remember! I love Marinette, I really do, but I have to admit that she could be written better because she falls right into this sort of trap.

Himbos Are People, Too

Okay, okay. I know we all need to have our himbos sometimes. And that’s great! A character who’s a bit out of their element can be endearing for a lot of readers! But in order to get there, the character needs other personality traits, too! Comic relief is not a personality. It’s something you can stack onto a personality, but you need to create a whole character first, complete with hobbies and interests! Which means that, yes, you have to let your character be good at something. It doesn’t have to be the same as their interests, though! This is a great opportunity for a reminder that you can still find joy in something even if you’re not very good at it, and just because you're good at something doesn't mean it makes you happy.

And it should really be more than one thing they’re good at! Don’t write the Ron who’s only good at chess or the Lance who’s only (somewhat) good at flirting!

Tell Me What You Want

This also goes for character motivations! Each character needs to have either a clear motive or a clear lack of motive! Bonus points if it’s multiple complex but identifiable motives! Sokka is a perfect example of this! He wants to live up to the legacy of his father, find his place in the Gaang, and maybe pick up a girl (or a guy) along the way. And most importantly, he uses his humor not as a selfish way to avoid his feelings or for plot convenience but rather to lighten the mood as part of the duty he feels to keeping his sister safe and happy! His Voltron doppelgänger, Lance, has no clear motivation… ever, pretty much. He's implied to like Allura, but it's treated as more of a joke. Same with Ron, or Neville, or Luigi, or even Loki. What do they even want? You could say that Ron saw his greatest desire in the Mirror of Erised (to be recognized and respected), but does he ever take steps toward this? Does it ever even get brought up again? Or was it just meant to contrast with Harry’s greatest desire? After all, Ron ends up as some Auror as an adult but doesn’t show any regret or longing for a higher status.

(Another hint: Not dying is not a character motivation!)

However, I did give another option, which was a clear lack of motivation. We see this in Percy, Reki, and Kai at certain points, and they all express that they don’t understand exactly what they want. And that’s perfectly okay, too! I actually really love writing characters like this! That being said, this is typically a temporary thing, and you should have something in mind for the character’s endgame. I want to stress that this is actually the harder one to pull off correctly, so you can’t just use it as a cop-out.

So yeah, there’s your crash course in character creation and development! Maybe I’ll do a separate post for that in more detail!

According to my Calculations…

Yes, I know that can all feel like a lot. But it's no excuse to fall into stereotypes. Especially this one, which is often done as an Asian-American caricature. Going the other route with a conventionally unattractive, glasses-wearing, acne-having white kid is bad, too. It's cringe. It's harmful. Don't do it.

And this goes not just for the stupid-nerd caricature, but also for any other stereotype out there. This one is just the most annoying one I can think of.

The Loyal Lapdog

Another sort of random trope is justifying a bland character by claiming that their virtue is their "loyalty." If you're going to use loyalty as a personality trait, be very careful about it. You have to be committed to upholding that personality trait even if it messes with your plot. You don't want to end up like Ron, who is actually arguably one of the least loyal characters in the series, abandoning his best friends in an apocalyptic situation just because he was jealous and constantly getting in fights with Harry over things out of his control. It is good to test and even break the limits of your character’s loyalty, but if they give up at the slightest inconvenience they’re clearly not actually loyal at all. (I’m sorry I bash Ron so much. It’s not what it sounds like, I actually hate him much more than I’m letting on.)

Comedy Communism

Guess what? You can have more than one character be funny! In fact, why not make all of them funny? Even your dark, serious character can be accidentally hilarious, and Skull is a pristine example of this. And giving a brooding loner character a surprise one-liner can be a great way to mark character development as they become more comfortable in their environment.

Overall, spreading out the role of comic relief across multiple characters is just a plain good idea because it forces you to fully develop each character and makes your comedy less predictable.

Or here’s another idea: make the comic relief character the protagonist! It’s an unexpected move that Percy Jackson pulls off immaculately! It’s also another strategy to help you avoid writing flat comedic relief characters because your protagonist should be the easiest character to fully flesh out.

Don’t Ruin the Moment

Using comedy to lighten the mood can be a good thing, but it has a time and a place. I've seen so many truly moving, deeply emotional moments completely gutted by a stupid joke. It's so devastating to see a writer put in all this effort to build up to a big moment, only to ruin it. It’s up to you to decide what counts as a “big moment,” but once you decide, fully commit to it. If you really feel like it’s too much for the reader, you can use a scene break, which will provide relief to the readers with less bleeding over of the lighthearted mood into the serious part.

But it can also be hard to maintain that tension, especially if a comic relief character is involved. Having them tell a joke that falls flat can actually be a great way to further increase the tension while staying in character!

~

With that, thank you for reading! Go forth my friends and make people laugh with complex and memorable characters! And look out for my next post about How to Write a Truly Bone-Chilling Villain!

[gingus-doon]

pov u just shot your childhood hero, wdyd

i.e. i ramble about keiji post-shooting; his occupation, what he does, how he copes, how he feels, etc. etc.

just putting this little thing here because the post got quite long and i couldn't split it up because it's all somewhat related. it started out as a rant / informal ramble but then it got serious lololol

—

one thing i don't understand is why people hc keiji as still having a job with the police post-shooting? like that just doesn't make sense to me– not only based on his character but like... why would you wanna make him a cop with all the talk of how much the police suck lately? personally i'm a brown bitch so i couldn't be down with thirsting over a cop lol. it's just kinda confusing sjdhd

i've seen the hc of him as a private investigator, though, which i like! it's a very neat way to let him flex his detective skills without being part of a corrupt organization and without forsaking his own personal beliefs and feelings about the police, because i don't think those would change anywhere near easily and i just kinda can't see him going back into the police force because of that.

i have often wondered what keiji would do after the death game, and what he was doing before the death game or after the shooting, because i think he'd definitely quit after the shooting, with all the grief and trauma surrounding the job and his newfound cynicism.

i don't think he'd be doing private investigation before the game, or more specifically, before his character develops into something reminiscent of his old self– as he is at the start of the game, he just doesn't have that faith in protection, so i can't imagine him being an investigator at that point. HOWEVER, in a post death game OR non-death game au where keiji has started to pull himself up from that tar (most likely with the help of others lol) i think that's definitely a plausible option for him and i like it a lot :]

as for other options, though... i really don't know! this is more of a stupid idea but i considered him working in a convenience store like shin lol. i had a whoooole au about him, kai, and shin working in the same convenience store just because they can't hold down any other jobs / don't know what else to do for work. shin is able to actually hold down the job because the last manager was mysteriously taken out of commission (i don't know lol) and they were ridiculously short-staffed already so shin ended up being the "most qualified" for the now vacant position. keiji's had a string of odd jobs since the police and this is just the next one. he's hoping to find something with a better wage but this'll do for now, it's even in walking distance from his apartment. and kai, kai's trying to exercise more independence from the chidouins' after becoming his own person! so he gets what i think would be his first job (well, his first official job, anyway... being an assassin and the chidouins' personal maid were more unofficial gigs lol.) ahh that was a lotta rambling about my dumb little au but i just think it'd be neat, they're three of my favourite characters so having them just vibe with each other at work and become friends sounds nice 2 me :] also Coincidentally i ship literally every combination of those three characters so that may have played a part in my casting decisions lmfao

oh wow that was a really long and uncalled for synopsis but this is just a rambly post so it can't really be uncalled for because this post doesn't have any particular point lol (A/N after writing this— IT HAS A POINT NOW, DISREGARD PAST ME)

SO ANYWAY ! i was just considering what keiji would do right after the shooting. honestly i have noooo idea, it's the beginning of a long road of him burying his trauma in a desperate attempt to avoid facing the pain it brings, and it marks a profound loss of innocence which makes his heart begin to grow cold. it's just hard to see the beginning of the process when where he started and where he ended up are very different places.

obviously, he'd quit his job. i wonder if the hallucinations would start right away? him being naïve in the beginning, i'm sure he'd acknowledge them– cry out apologies and plead for forgiveness until his throat is hoarse. the rule of hallucinations in yttd seems to be that if you acknowledge them, they'll burn themselves into your brain and you'll never be rid of them– implying that keiji has done so, as it's likely been years since the shooting and he's still suffering from the visions despite seeming to ignore them now.

ahh, i'm getting in my feelings about keiji now 😭😭 when i started this, i wanted to be held by him, but now i just wanna hug him like damnnnn

but back to what he'd do after the shooting– this scenario is self indulgent, but wouldn't it be nice if he took some time off and just stayed at his mom's place for a while? help her with chores while she's at work, try to regain a sense of normalcy in his childhood home...

i don't think he'd be able to do this right after the shooting. keiji had shame, once upon a time– the guilt would rack him like nothing else. i can imagine him spending a lot of late nights with alcohol, just wishing it was a dream. his resentment towards megumi slowly building as he feels he's being left in the dark as to why, why he isn't allowed to atone, why she's being so cold towards him about the shooting when he's suffering so heavily from the effects of it.

he wouldn't want to be around his dear mom as a murderer, and as a resentful alcoholic who's coping very poorly with his circumstances.

also (tangent incoming), i kind of wonder about keiji and alcohol a lot. in his fondness events with mishima, he says the following—

the "haven't drank that much in years" part makes me wonder– for how long? did he start to restrain himself before the shooting or after? i would say it's most likely after, considering the "feels like it'll swallow me up" comment he made soon after. and, how he talked about binge drinking when he was still a newbie. perhaps it was fine for him to do so, before the shooting— he'd just get wasted and flirt, have a good time. but after, it morphed into an inefficient coping mechanism which he fell far within the depths of to try and control the worst of his grief and self hatred. after that, heavy drinking couldn't just be for fun anymore.

i assume in the "before it got this way" comment, the "way" he's referring to is how he doesn't drink much anymore? or, he could be talking about the depression drinking, but i think the prior makes more sense.

even though i think, given keiji's example of drinking with megumi, that he could have gotten blackout drunk a couple of times purely for fun pre-shooting, i think here he's referring to the painful side of his relationship with alcohol here, the part that took place when he was trying to cope with his trauma. i think he brings up the story of drinking with megumi immediately after, then, to avoid talking about that part of his past. though he doesn't show it much, i think he's deeply ashamed of himself. not only of what he's done, but how he's handled it afterwards.

on a lighter note, though, it's quite funny to think of Lawful Good young keiji shinogi getting drunk off his ass and flirting with every woman he comes across willing to flirt back. like, what's up with that??? he seems like such a serious dork in the flashbacks, but doing well in his police job, he just... lets loose?? no no, honestly i think he hadn't drank much before going out with megumi and he took her insistence on him drinking a little too far, and with his inexperience with alcohol and the successive lack of self restraint that comes with each new drink, you get casanova shinogi, lmao.

BACK TO THE SERIOUS STUFF THOUGH !! i really like the idea of him going to his mom to help him pull himself back together. i think they'd have a solid relationship, fight me! he seems to adore his mom as a child with a good single parent usually does. i'm sure he appreciates her immensely for all the care and love she managed to give him when he was a kid while also working her ass off to support them financially. this very respect for her is what i think would drive him to isolate himself from her after the shooting– as i said above, he's a murderer now. a disappointing human being in general, and an even worse son. to let down his mother who worked so hard to raise him right... how could he? as his condition worsens and his heart grows colder, i'm sure that feeling would fester inside of him. he'd try to ignore it, as he does with everything else, but it's already wrapped its tendrils around his soul. that particular guilt isn't leaving him any time soon.

now that i'm thinking about it, also, i don't think it's likely that he'd quit his job right right away. it'd be more of a slow descent over the span of a few weeks. immediately after the shooting, he may stop showing up to work for a while. he just can't put on that uniform when it's practically caked in the blood of someone he held in such high esteem for so long. eventually, though, he gets a hold on himself– just a bit. he doesn't want to be cooped up in his apartment with his thoughts anymore, and he doesn't want to lose his job. what else would he do?

so, he takes it easy on the first few days back. megumi tries to make it easy for him. paperwork, whatever job he could do that's not on the field. he clings to her like a wounded puppy, hoping that she'll explain why she's covering it up when he doesn't want her to, what he's supposed to do with these feelings around the incident. he's drowning, and she's made herself a big sister figure to him– she's supposed to help him. but, she shrugs him off when he brings it up. she's so harsh about it compared to how she usually speaks to him. perhaps because of her own guilt around the incident, perhaps it's the family's response and how keiji is now, how panicked and sleep deprived the poor kid has looked since that day.

so he continues to spiral with nothing to hold on to. grasps at alcohol in a futile attempt to stop falling, because it's all he can think to fall back on. he's a wreck at work– he's barely living, much less working. but megumi tries her best to keep him from getting fired. she'll get him coffee and breakfast and try to say something encouraging. "hey. hang in there, shinogi." with a touch on the shoulder. but in spite of her efforts, of course, it hits a breaking point. everyone in the job thinks keiji's too damaged to continue, saying he either needs to see a shrink or get the hell out of the way and let everyone else do their job.

and keiji just stops coming into work one day.

the downward spiral ensues.

[bnhavibes]

Dark Paradise

Chapter 3: Disquiet

Ao3

Mafia AU! 

“I want,” Shigaraki leaned in, all fingers but one curling around Kai’s bicep, “the girl.” His minatory gaze was trained on Kai’s, daring him to step out of line. Kai took a shaky inhale, eyes flicking over to the young woman on the couch. 

“Will you do that for me, Kai?” Shigaraki’s four fingers gripped tighter around Kai’s tense arm; a stern reminder that he didn’t have a choice. “If you don’t, I trust it’s not necessary to say what will happen to you.”

Art from this post, FOLLOW THEM THEIR ART IS AMAZING!!

Word Count: ~4k

Your sparkly princess shoe kicked the rock playfully and watched as it rolled along the sidewalk, giggling to yourself all the while. Dainty fingers trailed along the bottom of well-trimmed hedges. Through the green, you saw the off-white bleached brick of your house come into view and skipped the rest of the way there. You couldn’t wait to show the picture you had drawn at school today.

You kicked the welcome mat up to find the key to the towering red front door and you quickly replaced it before eagerly shuffling inside, ready for the delicious smell of homemade chocolate chip cookies to grace your nose. It was Wednesday, and every week your mom made cookies to celebrate a week half over. They were always ready for when you got home from school. Your older sister would help make them because her middle school got out earlier.

But it didn’t smell like cookies. You felt the bright hopefulness that adorned your face earlier sink, a pouty frown replacing it. Clumsily, you kicked off your shoes and socks, padding over to the couch to toss your backpack down. 

“Mommy? Skye?” There was no answer. Maybe they were playing in the backyard? Yeah, they were probably playing and going to make cookies later. Your mom always kept saying that one of these days you were going to have to start helping them bake. With great effort, you pulled the sliding door open to the expansive backyard, and your head tilted as you tried to process what was in front of you.

“Mommy?” She was lying prone on the ground, her neck was turned towards the door so you could see her face. It was blank, vacant. Her jaw was slack, and her arms were twisted strangely at her sides. You had dropped to your knees on the soft grass at the sight, so you crawled over to your mom and shook her arm. You were sad to feel she wasn’t as warm as usual; her embrace was the most comforting thing in the world. You kept calling out to her and telling her this game wasn’t funny. Why would she play a game like this? You wondered. You took in the sight of her. Maybe she is sleeping? Your small arms wrapped around her shoulders to pull her up. Her neck made a dull thunk! as her head hung in the air and lolled around. You shook her again, horrified at how her head rolled lifelessly. 

“Mommy? Mommy!”

Water clogged up your vision so that when you looked around the yard, you could just barely make out your sister several meters away. She lay there, limbs askew and back bent unnaturally. 

“Mommy, whats wrong with Skye?” You couldn’t take your eyes off the way your sister’s body lay uncomfortably. A deep cracking noise turned your attention back to your mother. Your eyes widened impossibly as you listened to the horrifying snaps and crunching of bone as your mom’s neck wrenched back around to face you. You couldn’t stare at anything except her completely vacant eyes.

“You weren’t here. We died alone.” Her arms started twisting in ways they shouldn’t, shattering the bones as she crawled towards you, dragging her bottom half behind her. Her strained gasps rang out in the yard. You stumbled backwards and a broken scream erupted from your throat.

~~

Your eyes shot open. There was a loud noise in your somber bedroom, and you realized with horror that it was your own forceful breathing and heart pounding dangerously fast against its confines. Your throat felt raw and dry. You must have been actually screaming. Bringing one trembling hand to your face as tears dropped from your eyes, you tried to control your breathing. Panic enveloped your entire being, those ever-present tons of rocks making their home on your ribcage, crushing your chest. Is this what Giles Corey felt like? You couldn’t get a full breath in no matter how hungrily, greedily you sucked in air. 

You sat up and pushed your back firmly against the headboard. Shoving your hand over your mouth again, you covered your nostrils to stop your hyperventilation. Dry lips and fingers went numb, pinprick pains raining under your skin, and your body felt heavy. Unable to do anything else, you stared emptily at the blank walls of your room. You had lived here for four years, and still hadn’t ever bothered to make it look like a home. The excuse you always used was that you didn’t value material possessions. Honestly, it was because decorating was commitment, and it would make this broken down place a more permanent thing in your life, which you didn’t want to think about.

By now you knew how to deal with the panic attacks that your recurring nightmare brought about. It had happened when you were in fifth grade. Your childhood house’s neighbour was a reckless young hero. He had been trying to show off his wind-based quirk for a news camera, not thinking of the consequences of using it in a residential area, and accidentally sent a strong gust of wind whipping towards your mother and sister. 

It snapped your mother’s neck, and the autopsy showed that your sister had died from a subarachnoid hemorrhage from the trauma of the hit. Even after so many years it still occasionally came back to haunt you in your dreams, but with a new horrifying twist each time. This one was especially bad. Sero had suggested therapy many times, but therapy wasn’t meant for people like you. What wisdom could a complete stranger give you? If you opened up to a therapist about your past you would have to leave it all out in the open, including your killing people. You supposed you could omit that part, but what good would that do? The thought of baring yourself completely to anyone, much less a random person, terrified you. Talking about emotions had never been your strong suit.

You leaned over and grabbed your phone to see the time. Squinting your eyes violently as your face was bathed in wretched artificial light, you barely made out the numbers. 4:27am. You sighed and lay back. Thoughts of the League of Villains filled your head. Could they really change the world so things like that wouldn’t happen? 

After you absently tossed and turned for a while, you drifted back to sleep, chest feeling so sorrowfully hollow.

~~

You woke to the sound of your alarm. You had 15 minutes to get ready before Sero came to pick you up. Sliding out of bed, you put on a sufficiently decent outfit for walking. The exercise pants accentuated your thighs and calves nicely. You glanced disapprovingly at the bags under your eyes that were considerably darker this morning. Skin blanched, you looked sickly, and it seemed like you could do with a few hundred years more sleep. You could already see Sero’s face contorting in that way it does when he’s worried about you. Though you detested the idea of a person who cared about you seeing you like this, you needed to talk things through to process. Also, it was just so crazy that you could still barely wrap your head around it. You could work for the League of Villains!

When Sero’s inked knuckles rapped on your front door, you opened it and took your time drinking in his appearance. Admiring the way his fitted white T-shirt stretched across the subtle muscles of his chest. His tattoos peeked out the top of his shirt, traveling up his neck and cascading down both arms. His dark ripped jeans complimented his shirt perfectly. His black plugs were paired with two silver cartilage piercings on his left ear, and a barbell in his right eyebrow. His short black hair was a bit longer than usual. Finally, your eyes landed on his left shoulder where a...sloth was clinging to him. You felt a rush of affection for Sero, and you pulled him into a long hug, carefully avoiding the sloth. You could already feel yourself healing. 

“So the sloth is… different. Any other new tattoos I should know about?” Your voice was muffled against his chest. He pulled back before responding.

“Nah, but here! I didn’t forget.” You watched as the tattoo on his left forearm of a cat with shiny stygian fur stretched and yawned before it hopped off his arm and became a real cat.

“Hey Biscuit! Good to see you buddy.” You definitely needed some kitty therapy. You cooed at the small cat and bent over to scoop him up into your arms. After a few scratches behind the ears, he started purring and nuzzled into your neck. 

Your mother and father had had cats when you were little, but they were long gone and you hadn’t been able to afford a pet while living in this house. Of course, you could have afforded cats if you agreed to take more money from the Deku gang or the Shie Hassaikai, like they kept pressuring you to do. You speculated this is why Sero had gotten the tattoo in the first place, but he had never admitted that to you. Certainly he wanted companionship like anyone else, but Sero was more of a dog person, considering he was pretty much the human version of a puppy. 

With one last check to ensure the back porch light was off, the two of you went off on your way to the restaurant where you were planning to stuff your face with hopefully a somewhat nutritious meal. Better than the crap you’ve been daring to call nourishment.

Locking the door behind you, the two of you stepped out into the breezy summer air. If you closed your eyes you could imagine yourself on a beach. Anywhere but here.

Before you got into all of your problems you couldn’t get off your mind, you asked Sero how his work was going. He owned his own small tattoo parlor in the next part of town that was significantly less ramshackle than your zip code. It was no rich people haven by any means, but still nicer. 

“Work is...good! Hey, when are you going to come to my shop and get a tattoo? I’ll make sure to give you the best-person-in-the-world discount!” His silly lopsided grin made giggles erupt from your throat, no matter how you tried to hold them in. The breakfast place he suggested was suspiciously close to said tattoo shop, and you had laughed when he first sent you the address. Always a businessman first.

“Sorry ink-man, no tattoos for me today.”

“Alright, alright, fine. It has been busier than usual, I think sending my card to those gangs like you suggested really paid off! They’re a little terrifying, but hey, they pay me. Oh and you wouldn’t believe what happened the other day.” He launched into a story about how a client had come into his shop for a consultation on a tattoo, whipped out a picture of her boyfriend completely naked and demanded he tattoo the entire thing across her back. 

“What? No way.” You let your head fall back as you laughed at the ridiculousness of some people. It was nice to hear about something screwed up, but not heavy. A story that made you laugh and forget about the betrayal you felt.

“Well, anyway, and most importantly, how are you?” He smiled at you expectantly. Your heart sank a bit as you were again forced back into your thoughts.

“Uh, pretty good I guess.” He raised his eyebrows in disbelief so you continued. “Okay not really. I’ve gotten a surge of trauma patients recently and I lost one last night.” Though it was never easy, Sero knew losing a patient was nothing new for you, so that couldn’t be why you had called. He nodded sympathetically and put a hand on your shoulder. 

After a moment he offered you a bright smile, “at least you’ve got me!” 

You smiled back, “yeah, I do.” 

The sunlight beamed in through the tree branches and leaves above you, casting spots of golden light onto Sero’s form. The wind whipped through your hair and you enjoyed the smell of summer coming in as you heard the birds chirping blithely around you. As if to keep you from truly enjoying any distraction, the image of your mother’s head twisting around flooded into your head and made you flinch, and you wrenched your eyes shut as if to lessen the impact. But there was no running away from the image plastered on the back of your eyelids.

“I had the nightmare again.” You couldn’t bring yourself to meet Sero’s eyes as you said it, electing to stare at the dirt-caked sidewalk instead. 

“Oh. I’m sorry. It was a bad one this time, huh?” A tattooed arm wrapped around your shoulders, and you snuggled closer, tugging your arm around his back, curling your fingers into his side. He let that fact hang in the air for a bit, leaving room for you to share more if you wanted. You both walked in comfortable silence for a bit, and you breathed in his scent. Soaking up his warmth and support, you tried not to cry as you felt your throat closing up. 

After a moment, Sero startled you by yelling and pointing his finger. He had felt the need to point out two birds in a tree “going at it” and you broke into a relieved laugh. 

From that point on, you chatted idly about everything and nothing while on your way to the restaurant. His laugh was the funniest part of any dumb joke he told. Though, you thought he was funny without even trying. 

~~

The steaming food was set down in front of you, and Sero decided it was time to forgo the small talk.

“So. What’s really going on? I know you love seeing me, of course, but I can tell when something else is on your mind.” His playful grin reminded you that no matter what you said he wouldn’t judge you. So you decided to cut right to the issue, as he bent to take a sip of his iced caramel coffee.

“The League of Villains wants me to be their on-call nurse.” Sero started choking on his drink, and his sloth placed a few gentle pats on his back. He was still able to breathe, so you continued.

“I have to live with them, but they’ll pay me for my time. And I don’t have to pay rent.” You paused for a bit, and your tone must have lacked finality because Sero stayed silent, sensing there was more you wanted to say. But he was also still in the middle of his coughing fit.

“They have made a big difference in the world, for the better, and it would be nice to be part of something bigger. I won’t go on missions with them or anything so my safety shouldn’t be compromised.” You sighed, staring pensively at your food and absently picking at it with your fork. There was another detail that was still bothering you.

“They somehow know about my mom and sister. They’ve done their research and think I would fit in well there.” You warmed at the thought of finally fitting in somewhere. It had been so hard to be somewhat morally grey as a nurse and always walk that line of never fully agreeing with the heroes or villains. Sero had recovered from inhaling his coffee, so he finally spoke.

“What, that’s crazy! Honestly, if it gets you out of that crappy neighborhood, I’ll be glad. I know you’re not happy there, and it sounds like you want to join them. So what’s stopping you?” You were thoughtful for a moment.

“I don’t know. It’s sort of a big change. I just need time to think it over. It seems like the perfect way to safely get out of those deals with the gangs. I wanted to talk it out with you first. You’re my go-to for advice,” you chuckled. He gave you a wide grin.

“Of course I am! I give only the best advice for the best of people. Look, it sounds like this could be really good for you. I mean, we both know your clinic was a lot more stressful than you expected and there’s no opportunities there. I want to see you happy. And maybe you’ll meet a hot villain guy to fu-“

“Ugh, Sero you always have to go there don’t you?” Dabi’s face played in your mind, and you felt the blush creeping up your neck, flicking your eyes to the sidewalk at the base of the outdoor table.

“There’s already a hot villain guy, isn’t there? Isn’t there?!” You blushed more and choked out an embarrassed laugh. Sero’s Cheshire grin went ear-to-ear as he continued.

“Oh there definitely is,” he waggled his eyebrows, “tell me about him. I was wondering how you heard from the League.” You sighed in defeat. 

“There was this guy, Dabi, that came to my house and told me they’ve been watching me, whatever the hell that means. He said they could use someone like me.” Sero looked at you expectantly and flailed his arms.

“And?” You sighed again.

“And he has lots of piercings, blue eyes, and he’s kind of an asshole,” you begrudgingly admitted.

“Just your type, then.”

“I guess.” Dabi did check all your boxes. Somehow.

Sero had been your best friend through all of your tumultuous relationships and your complete weakness for “bad boys” that never treated you right. Dabi definitely fit this category, especially with him being a villain. If you had to psychoanalyze yourself and guess, it must be some self-destructive tendency as a result of your dad’s abuse being the only kind of love you had known after the fifth grade. Therapy might be good. Or maybe you really had embraced your dark side like Midoriya had said. The cliché was almost laughable, but you certainly weren’t going to resist your interest in the scarred man.

“But he also told me that I should watch my back, and he basically admitted that he got information about me from one of the mobs I make deals with. I mean, what else could he mean by that?” Sero hummed and his face twisted slightly with concern. 

He didn’t say it, what you both knew, and what you had been trying to avoid thinking about. The possibility that your Uncle could be the one selling information about you to the League. What could be worth it? More money than they already had? Protection? Supplies? What was worth selling you out for after you had saved so many of their men’s lives? You were blood.

As much as you could tell yourself it was another gang who did it, the one detail remained inconsistent: how Dabi knew about your family. You were certain you hadn’t told a soul who didn’t already know because they were directly involved. The city had to cover up the story, sweep it under the rug and not give details about it to keep your story confidential. It would have looked bad for the well-known hero agency of which he was a member. Of course, the hero had gotten off on some bullshit jail time that wasn’t long enough for the murder (though accidental, it was still murder) he committed. So it wasn’t like anyone could look you up and figure out your entire life story. Or certainly not about that incident. 

You had done years of intensive, paranoid searching to find the story buried somewhere. You never found it. No one was interested in telling the stories of people like you. They would much prefer you stay unknown and unheard.

The only way to figure it out was an inside perspective. You supposed there were the gangsters close to your uncle that could possibly know. Certainly Chisaki, but would Tommy really have told his underlings? No, that seemed unlikely. So, the only people who realistically knew about it were Sero, Tommy, and Chisaki. You thought to the other gangs. In your numerous calculated conversations with Izuku, you were certain you had never slipped up and betrayed any details of your personal life, much less of your childhood trauma. That was a hard line you never crossed with the crime lord, even when he tried to poke around. 

It certainly couldn’t be Keigo. He didn’t seem to care enough about you, or any other than himself, to send people to spy on you. Even if a gangster was spying on you, it still didn’t explain how they knew. Maybe you had talked about it out in the open with Sero? You shook your head, beginning to feel a pounding at the base of your skull from overthinking. You needed a distraction.

“What’s his name?” You gestured your fork at the sloth that was now languidly picking through Sero’s hair. Maybe that’s why it looked more frizzy than usual. 

“Frank. Maybe.” You looked at him incredulously and laughed. It was a funny name, but he had to have thought of something better. “Oh what are you laughing about?” 

“Frank is an absolutely unacceptable name for a sloth. It would have to be something like….Morgan. Yeah, I can see that.”

“I can’t! How is Morgan any better than Frank? They’re both people names. And what else do you name sloths? Fluffy?” 

The rest of the meal was spent arguing over names from his new companion. Except when you occasionally interjected with new realizations about your predicament. Sero played along whenever you derailed the conversation with blurting your thoughts out loud, and gave you reassurance when you needed it. Thank the Gods for his endless patience.

After you both were done eating and paid for the food—the pink-skinned waitress with black pits for eyes was smitten and gave Sero a fuck me please discount—you both started walking back to your house, since Sero had to start up his tattoo shop for the day. You plotted activities for the next time you would come over to his apartment. 

Once you returned to your doorstep, Sero pulled you into his arms. 

“Just know that whatever you choose, I’m here to support you. I love you, okay? Get some more rest then call them and negotiate. They’re only getting you on your terms.” He gazed at you with fondness and a rare seriousness that differed from his normally felicitous demeanor. “And feel around to see who could possibly be telling the League that stuff. Whoever it is, it’ll be okay.”

“I will, and yeah I still need to think about it more, but you’re right. It’s on my terms,” you punched him on the shoulder, “love you too, weirdo.” You reached up to hesitantly stroke the sloth’s head, unsure if that’s what you did with pet sloths. “Bye, Frank.” 

It was a cute name, and you didn’t actually have a problem with it, you just liked messing with Sero. As you watched him walk away you wondered how you lucked out to have someone as great as Sero in your life. He made you laugh with his near-constant levity, but was still serious when you needed it. He had been your rock since high school, and you didn’t want to imagine how your life would be without him. 

You sighed. Now it was time to sit down and do some research.

[my-lady-knight]

Favorite Reads of 2019

As seems to be my usual, I’m posting this at what feels like the last second.

Writing this year’s post was hard. I’ve been complaining offline all year that it feels like I read far fewer books I really, truly enjoyed. Even the books I did enjoy, they didn’t stick around long in my head for me to remember details. On the other hand, this list ended up being thirteen items long, so it can’t have been that bad. And having to go back to the books in order to write this list did make me remember how and why I loved them, so there is that.

Presented in chronological order of when I read them:

The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay

The first book I read in 2019, and I knew would end up on this list as soon as I finished. It’s also the first book of Guy Gavriel Kay’s where I finally understood what the fuss was about - when he commits to writing three-dimensional characters with compelling interpersonal and socio-political relationships, he commits. The cultural/social details of this secondary-world version of medieval Spain set at the beginning of the end of the Caliphate and the rise of the Reconquista are evocative, and the scope deftly alternates between being vast without tripping over itself and touchingly personal. Most importantly, this book gave me an OT3 I wasn’t even expecting in the form of Amman ibn Khairan, famed soldier, poet, and advisor now outcast from the city-state of Cartada, Rodrigo Belmonte, beloved cavalry captain with a complicated loyalty to the rulers he serves, and Jehane bet Ishak, an esteemed physician whose path intersects with them both. Together they represent the connections and tensions between their respective, secondary-world Muslim, Christian, and Jewish communities, cities, and leaders in this secondary-world Spain and form a triangle of everything the country has, is, and can be. A year later I still love this book.

How to Write an Autobiographical Novel: Essays by Alexander Chee

This book is difficult to write about, because I remember loving it as I was reading it, but I can’t remember any of the essays very well several months after the fact (see above). What I do remember is that they were difficult, and complicated, and messy, and they did the thing I love when essays do where the fact that the things Alexander Chee was writing about are super-specific to him made them somehow feel all the more relatable. All the essays were nicely crafted stories and emotional journeys, withAlexander Chee tracing all the various aspects of his life through his writing, as an Asian man, a gay man, an aspiring writer, a professional writer, a resident of NYC, and a survivor of sexual assault, using prose that was both artistic and clear as water.

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie

Amal El-Mohtar wrote in her NYT review that this book was akin to “Hamlet”, “if [the play] were told from the point of view of Elsinore Castle addressing itself to a Horatio who mostly couldn’t hear it,” to which my response was “huh?” Then I read the book and it a) made so much more sense and b) ended up being an astute, apropos explanation of the kind of book The Raven Tower is. It’s the story of a soldier and companion to the heir of a country investigating the disappearance of its ruler and the ascendency of another in his place. It’s also the story of a calm, patient god in the form of a stone who predates all of history and narrates the changing existence of gods, their power, and their relationship to humans and their civilizations. It’s an understated yet powerful book, full of Ann Leckie’s brilliant and clever writing, world-building, storytelling, and otherworldliness. It’s Ann Leckie. She knows what she’s doing. And it fucking works.

Sal & Gabi Break the Universe by Carlos Hernandez

This book - is bonkers. It is insane. It is one thousand percent over the top. I kept asking myself “why am I not irritated???” Instead I loved it. Sal is the new kid, a practicing magician with as showman’s flair for the dramatic and boundless energy, and he can open up portals into other universes. Gabi is the sharp-eyed, bossy class president and editor of the school newspaper who just knows something’s up with Sal and his shenanigans. Together, they become friends! And open up more portals into other universes. This book is warm and empathetic and funny and kind-hearted. It’s too-muchness quality somehow worked. The whole thing felt like the literary equivalent of a hug. 

The Parting Glass by Gina Marie Guadagnino

This wasn’t a Deep book, but I could not stop thinking about it, nor could I stop recommending it to people. It’s a zippy historical fiction novel set in 1830s NYC prior to the Potato Famine. Mary (or Maire) and her brother Seanin are Irish immigrants working in the same wealthy family’s house, she as lady’s maid to the marriageable daughter named Charlotte, he as a groomsman. Mary is half in love with her Charlotte; unfortunately so is Seanin, and the two of them are carrying on an affair, the aftermath of which leaves Mary in a bind about where her loyalties lie. I love that this book has a queer take on a love triangle that I’ve never seen before, and I loved Mary’s anger and resentment, her unashamed attitude towards her desire for Charlotte as well as other women, and her selfishness as well as her loyalty. I also loved the upstairs-downstairs nature of the book and the clash of Anglo-American and Irish immigrant ethnic and class mores and the larger social and political setting of the city and time period.

The Bird King by G. Willow Wilson

I don’t even know how to begin describing this book. It’s a story about maps and boundaries and borders. It’s an epic of daring escape and adventure about a mapmaker named Hassan with a magical gift and a concubine named Fatima, two friends fleeing the Inquisition after the surrender of Granada, in search of a mythical island ruled by the King of Birds. It’s a story of faith and trust and bonds forged from disparate people, and transformation, transformation of yourself and the world around you because you will it to be so. It’s a beautiful, beautifully written book.

(As a side note, I’m intrigued by the fact that two of my favorite books on here are set during the Reconquista.)

On the Come Up by Angie Thomas

In some ways I liked this even better than The Hate U Give. I loved the complexity that arose out of Bri rapping about the injustices she’s experienced, with people drawing completely different meanings out of her words, people wanting her to use her rapping and her voice for differing reasons, and Bri herself working to figure out the power she has with her rapping and how she wants to use her talents, when it comes to financially supporting her family, standing up for herself, and being herself when so many around her are creating all these false images of her based solely off her words. I loved Bri’s anger, the way she kept speaking before thinking, her loving, sometimes complicated relationships with her family and friends...Angie Thomas’s writing and storytelling is phenomenal.

Kindred by Octavia Butler

I’m not even sure what to say about this book that hasn’t been said but, um, yeah, it’s Octavia Butler, it’s a classic, and really my favorite aspect of the book is how it so effectively bridges the gap between history and present and demonstrates how the two aren’t so far apart, and effectively blends them such that for Dana, the present becomes the past and the past is her present and suddenly she isn’t visiting history at a somewhat removed vantage point, she is part of history, her own history, her ancestors’ history, in all its horror, caught in a catch-22 of needing to repeatedly save the life of her white, slave-owning ancestor who over time grows more and more violent towards her, in order to ensure the chronological security of her own life.

The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf

This was a harrowing read. Set in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia during the 1969 Malay-Chinese race riots, sixteen-year-old Melati has OCD, or what she understands as a djinn living inside her that forces her to obsessively count in order to keep her mom alive, a secret she tries to hide so people don’t think she’s possessed. When the race riots break out across the city, Melati has to make her way through the violence in the streets in order to find her mom, all while battling the djinn as its power increases in the chaos. I repeat, this book was brutal. The descriptions of Melati’s OCD alone make it a tense, taxing read - combine it with the violence and unpredictability of the race riots and all the threats to Melati’s safety and her ever-growing fear for her mom and it’s a lot. Even so (perhaps because) I could not put this book down. The recreation of this part of history (which I had no clue of before and knew nothing about) was both immersive and informative, the story was deftly plotted, and I loved how Melati’s characterization and her relationship/the depiction of her OCD and how it specifically affects her in her particular circumstances. 

Jade War by Fonda Lee

CLEAN BLADE CLEAN BLADE CLEAN BLADE

*ahem*

The second book of the Green Bone Saga was even better than the first. It took the story of the Kaul family and the No Peak clan and the worldbuilding of Jade City and turned everything up to eleven, expanding the story beyond Kekon into the global theater, particularly Espenia, bringing into the picture Kekonse immigration, diaspora, assimilation, and cultural heritage - what it means to be Kekonese, to be a Green Bone and carry jade and follow aisho outside of Kekon. The gang warfare between the No Peak clan and the Mountain clan spills over the domestic sphere into the international. Espenia grows more aggressive in its moves to gain control over jade at Kekon’s expense. It’s family loyalties and betrayals, it’s gang politics and warfare, it’s community, municipal, national, and international politics and culture clashes, and the changing world of being a Green Bone and wearing jade in a post-colonial world. Anyone who’s followed me this year because of Peaky Blinders - READ JADE CITY AND JADE WAR. YOU WILL LIKE THESE BOOKS I PROMISE.

Hexarchate Stories by Yoon Ha Lee

With this short story collection, Yoon Ha Lee has not only successfully published fan fiction of his own work in the Hexarchate universe and is getting paid for it, he’s published good fanfiction. The cute Cheris and Jedao backstory pieces of flash fiction he first published on his website are drabbles. One of the original pieces in this collection is straight-up PWP. (How the hell Solaris agreed to it I have no idea, there is literally no plot.) The very last story (also original) is fix-it fic for Revenant Gun that left me kicking and screaming over the CLIFFHANGER that Yoon Ha Lee ended it on HOW DARE YOU I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT CHERIS AND JEDAO ARE GOING TO DO NEXT YOU BETTER BE WRITING MORE STORIES SET IN THIS AU TIMELINE. In sum, Yoon Ha Lee is a delight, I love him, and I loved this collection.

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

A novella about the weight of history, especially painful, traumatic history, and the necessity and yearning for it when you don’t have it. To be forced to bear the burden of history alone is to be crushed and subsumed by it. To lose or become detached from it is to lose connection to the people you’re from. Either way, it is difficult to impossible to maintain a people’s history alone. Rivers Solomon is such a poetic writer with her prose, painting beautiful images with just the right collection and arrangement of words, all while packing an astutely aimed punch in 160 pages.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

I had some issues with how convenient some of the magic/magical artifacts felt, and the various threads of the murder plot didn’t tie up as nicely as I wanted, but oh, Alex Stern is a marvel - a survivor in every sense of the word who embraces that part of herself over and over, even as what being a survivor means changes for Alex over the course of the book. A dark/contemporary urban fantasy set at Yale where the university’s elite student societies are also magical societies— Alex is a dropout who got into drugs as a teenager in order to shield herself from the ghosts she can’t stop seeing, recruited to act as overseer of the societies’ magical rituals, and who takes it upon herself to investigate the murder of a young woman not too different than herself. The centrality of power and its abuse in this book is delicious, the read is gripping, and Alex is worth the price of admission. Yes, I will be reading the second book when it comes out.

(Also, this is literally the second book I’ve ever read that makes any mention or inclusion of Ladino (both Alex and Leigh Bardugo are Sephardi.))

Honorable Mentions

Finding Baba Yaga by Jane Yolen

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo

How Long ‘til Black Future Month? by N. K. Jemisin

Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon

Dragon Pearl by Yoon Ha Lee

The Boneless Mercies by April Genevieve Tucholke

The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2018 edited by N. K. Jemisin and John Joseph Adams

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal

Amnesty by Lara Elena Donnelly

Storm of Locusts by Rebecca Roanhorse

Let Me Hear a Rhyme by Tiffany D. Jackson

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht

Pet by Akwaeke Emezi

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

It’s also been my practice over the past few years when making these posts to crunch the numbers regarding the number of books I’ve read by PoC authors. This year I read a total of 30 books, which is the exact same number as last year, but since I read fewer books this year, they accounted for 47 percent of my reading, compared to last year’s 43 percent. My goal since I started has been to get to 50-50 parity between PoC and white authors, and this year’s the second-closest I got (I reached 48 percent in 2017.) The goal for next year is once again 50-50.

[seawolvesanddragons]

NCIS - Season 16, and Why I Still Watch

Guys, this season has been a goddamn blessing. As someone who has watched NCIS for nearly ten years, I’ve seen almost every major cast change, excepting Kate and Jenny. The show stayed stable enough to keep me on after Ziva left, after Tony left, but I was having my doubts about NCIS without Abby, especially after season 14/15. Not that those seasons were bad, but they lacked the spark NCIS usually has. It was at the point where my buddy and I were preferring NCIS LA episodes over the original ones. But this season? My god, this season has been wonderful, in terms of dynamic, episodes, development...I just love it.  Full disclosure - this is about to get weirdly personal and also all over the place, and LONG, because I have thoughts that are demanding they get out. If you want full in depth and clinical analysis of NCIS, look elsewhere. 

These last few episodes, “Her” “Once Upon a Tim” and “Crossing the Line” hit particularly hard. I don’t cry easily, and I didn’t here either, but my heart absolutely did the whole “constrict with emotions” thing several times during those three episodes, particularly with “Her.” And let me say, those who stopped watching the show because Cote or Michael or Pauley left, because these new guys can’t be as good as the nostalgia colored dream team, because the writers/producers “aren’t as good, are riding the coattails of past success” etc...I think you’re making a mistake. Quite plainly, I think you’re wrong, or as Vance would say, I disagree with your opinion. Like I said, I’ve been a fan NCIS for years. I remember the very first episode I saw - it was where Vance had his face off with Kai, the assassin. My dad was  a fan, and it was just a custom in my household that on Tuesday nights, he would watch it while my mom and sister watched Glee in a different room. I wandered in one night, and thought that, as a high school freshman, I could try out some of these “grown up” shows. I remember the line that made me fall in love with the show - “kai-jacked.” I remember thinking “I get that joke. It was funny. I understand this show’s dialogue and jokes.” And that was it. I was hooked. It became a thing, between my dad and I - sure, mom watched it more often than not with us, and my sister was aware of the characters, but it was our thing. Tuesday nights, NCIS. More then once was I quizzed on whatever test I had for Wednesday during commercial breaks, because we didn’t want to wait until Friday to see the episode. It was our little in joke that my dad, former Navy, was listed as “Gibbs” in my contacts back when having nicknames for everyone’s contact was a thing in high school. My dad wasn’t nearly half the taciturn, tunnel visioned, “the second b is for bastard” person Gibbs could be - practically the only thing they shared was a past in the Marines/Navy and a soft spot for family - but somehow it fit. Dad was the Gibbs of my teenaged years. More then once he referred to me not as Ziva, the badass Ninja I admired so, but as Tony, the one I had silently noted was probably the most like me - and that my Dad had noticed as well. I never got an actual head slap, but Dad got the Gibbs stare down pat. Scarily well. I’ve met a few other friends over the years that have watched the show, but most dropped out in the last few years. I don’t blame them - for most it was a time commitment, though some weren’t willing to give the new characters a chance. Others just let watching it slide somewhere around season 14, when the show had a rough patch. I noticed some of the lower moments myself, and its been years since I’ve watched it faithfully every week. But I could never quit it entirely. Even now, when in a different country, I end up sitting down and bingeing on it. Cause a decade down the line, that was dad and mine show. Our connection. Overall, season 16 has been a turn around from the last few years. The development of the characters is consistent, but not rushed. Seeing Jimmy continue to be established as a self confident, intelligent and well trusted confidante makes my heart swell in happiness. He has come such a long way, and the scene this season where he and McGee discuss Vietnam, paralleling Ducky and Gibbs, was wonderfully done. McGee is also doing an amazing job, his role as Lead Agent/Mentor as well as father now reaching a more static position. Remembering his early days back in season 1/2 is incredible. Casey is a great addition, and I love that while Nick is still learning a little to play with a team, his obvious feelings for Ellie are part of his development, not hers. But it was these last three episodes that really cinched the season for me. “Her” was just terrific overall - like I said, I admired Ziva and saw a lot of myself in Tony. Any mention of them gets a thumbs up for me. But it was more of the acknowledgment of how far this show has come in recent years - Tony and Ziva being replaced by Torres and Bishop, Abby by Casey, Ducky slowly by Jimmy. Its largely a new team, just with the same leader. This change eerily paralleled my life - Cote left just as I was starting college. Tony left when I graduated. Abby mere months before I moved continents. My own team, my sphere on influencers back when I started watching the show, is somewhat different now than it was 6 years ago. New people entered my life, and others took on a backround role, or disappeared entirely. As Gibbs’ team changed, so did my stages of life. It’s a somehow comforting parallel, and one that “Her” really drove home for me. “Once Upon a Tim” was just great for some classic Tim character development and storyline - Tim often got overshadowed by his teammates backstories and arcs, so its have a very Tim centric episode, especially one that includes Delilah and the twins as central to his life but isn’t focused on them.

But “Crossing the Line?” That was the episode that hit me where I wasn’t expecting it. All through the episode, you get the feeling that Max is clearly more than he appears. The twist that he’s the son of an agent killed in the bombing? That was the unseen bullet. See, I remember that season finale probably better than any other NCIS season finale I have seen or will ever see. The bombing. Chaos. Ducky’s collapse on the beach with the phone call. The uncertainty I had of if everyone was going to survive this. It’s burned into my memory, because not three weeks after I watched Ducky collapse from a heart attack, my Dad died unexpectedly from one. Its become a part of life I’ve had to accept, but needless to say NCIS always brings up memories of my father, and certain episodes are harder to watch because of it. I’ve never seen that season finale after it aired - I can’t bring myself to. But Tony leaving the show a few years later felt like reopening the wound, as if Tony and Gibbs no longer being on screen together was another nail in the coffin of my own “Gibbs and Tony” chapter. This episode had a similar impact. Watching Max, six years later, try and deal with his own pain, mirroring my own similar journey...it affected me in a way tv shows rarely do. Particularly about deaths - hollywood is terrible at writing teenagers with dead parents, and death in general, and NCIS is not always an exception. Listening to Torres open up to Max, hearing someone talk about how this pain of six years sucks, but also isn’t going away, meant something to me. This wasn’t writers phoning it in or riding coattails. This was actual, genuine writing, acting, and emotion. Even if the dead parent always having a “saying” is an age old cliche - of course the dead relative always said some wise adage that fits the situation. Because people talk like that, right? The line “I’m not my father” was another emotional hit, particularly following Tim’s episode. I had actually been hoping that the writers would take a different route with it though - following the dead parent’s footprints is another cliche, and NCIS loves it. That instead of Max agreeing with Torres that he could consider an agent, that not being his father was meant that he was lesser or couldn’t live up to him, it was Max saying he could remember and honor his father in different ways. Because I know those words, “I am not my father.” I’ve been running with those words as far away from his shadow for five years. After his death, everyone wanted to see my father in me, at the expense of my mother’s traits, and my own personality. From my looks, my voice, my sense of humor, my morals, random little things I did or that happened to me - all of it could be traced, somehow, back to one half of my genetic code. I tried to follow his footsteps - did the whole navy path for a year or so, struggled with the difference between what I wanted, what I thought I wanted, and what was expected - just as 16 year old Tim did in “Once Upon a Tim.” But I wanted different things out of life. I learned that I could love and remember my father’s memory without going down some pre-trodden path of mirrors. And I wish that NCIS had taken that risk with this episode, and acknowledged that kids don’t have to become their parents, especially their dead parents. So yeah, this post is long and rambling and has no set structure and is strangely detailed on my emotional state and family troubles circa 2012. But the moral is, NCIS is not past it’s prime. It’s not recycling characters or plots. It’s not going downhill because people left. It’s growing and changing, staying dynamic with time. And it is still capable of creating amazing episodes, characters, and seasons; Season 16 is certain proof of that.

[voicesfromthelight]

Getting The Wires Crossed - A Potential Pitfall to Watch Out for in Mediumistic Group Settings

Today, I’d like to discuss an issue that has cropped up for me, once in a while, in the process of learning evidential mediumship in a group setting. Namely, I am speaking of the kind of confusion that can happen when we receive mediumistic information that is genuine and accurate, but, because of the presence of many different energies in the room, fail to recognize the correct recipient of it, sometimes even mistaking messages meant for ourselves, for ones meant for others. I call it “getting the wires crossed.” 

As I’ve mentioned before in my posts, although my connection with my spirit guides is strong, and my readings rely almost completely on their channeled communications, as a medium passing on messages between the living and the dead, I am still a work in progress. Getting the wires crossed is one challenge I have faced in my learning process. I haven’t yet figured out how to resolve this issue, and suspect it is something that mediums grow out of over time, but perhaps being aware that things like this can happen can help all of us catch little mixups like them more consistently. (It can also make for some funny stories, so, why not take this opportunity to share some of them?) I was reminded of this phenomenon last night, at a tango event, when a detail that had come through in a group setting suddenly turned out to be relevant not to a person at that circle, but to myself.

Two days earlier, after a long hiatus from participating in mediumistic message circles, I had attended one organized by The Holistic Studies Institute. This was somewhat outside of my comfort zone, as most of my readings are currently channeled at a distance, and not the result of real-time mediumship. I was excited to get back to honing my skills.

After the initial prayer and meditation, I eased into tuning into the group energy, and then turned my attention to each person in the circle. As the leaders of the circle passed on their first message to a woman sitting across from me, I saw, in my mind’s eye, the Italian island of Sicily. Knowing how clairvoyant symbolism had been working for me, lately, I understood this to either be a literal image of Sicily, or a symbol for the name Cecily (or, at the limit, Cecilia.) I would have to wait until later to confirm the relevance of this communication, as only the leaders were passing on messages during the circle itself.

As the session progressed, I began to receive more impressions of the attendants. One man received a message from one of the leaders of the circle that he would be traveling to Greece next year, and for a moment, I second-guessed myself, thinking that maybe the impression I had gotten of an island in Southern Europe was actually coming from him. Then, looking at a young woman sitting by a window, I saw a flash of silver around her throat, and a symbol of twins above her. I heard a snippet of a name that sounded like Kia, Kyle or Kai. Finally, I saw the Golden Gate Bridge - a symbol for San Francisco. There was an exceptional feeling of urgency to what I knew I needed to tell her: To pursue public speaking, and use her power of communication to align with her highest purpose - to inspire others and make the world a better place.

At the end of the circle, I went over to the young woman, and passed on what I had received. While the name didn’t have a current association with her, it turned out that the symbol of twins was a strongly evidential detail within the context of her family history. The city of San Francisco and the message about public speaking were both relevant, as well. We both felt exhilarated by the exchange, and I felt confident enough to go to the first woman to receive a message that evening, and pass on my impression of Sicily - or Cecily, as the case may have been. My communication was met with a blank stare. “OK,” I thought. That detail might only reveal its relevance later. My job was merely to pass it on. Still, I had hoped for confirmation, so,  I walked away wondering if my imagination had run away with me.

Two nights later - last night - at one of the many Argentine tango events I attend, a lovely woman asked me to dance. (In the New York milonga scene, especially in recent years, it has become more and more common for people to break out of the traditional gender roles that have held such strong sway over the tango world in the past.) I had danced with her once before, earlier in the summer, but couldn’t remember her name, so, after our tanda, I asked her to remind me. “I’m Cecily,” she said.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. In my last post on The Macarena Incident, you may recall that while meditating on the energies of people surrounding me on the subway, I received the name “Carmen,” thinking it was associated with the man standing next to me. Instead, it turned out to be relevant to my own experience later that evening. As I made my way home last night, I was reminded of other, uncanny incidents of a similar nature. I realized that this has become a bit of a pattern for me in group settings.

Last spring, at a mediumship circle, while meditating, I received very clear impressions of two spirits - a stocky, rustically dressed man named Simon, and a slender woman with brown hair named Millicent. Not recognizing them from my own life, and thinking they were at the circle for someone else, I diligently jotted down all the details, waiting for the circle to open up for attendants to speak up. Lo and behold, when it was my turn to receive my message from the leader of the circle, he described the exact spirits I had picked up on, down to names. As it turned out, the two strangers were there for me. (The story of how Simon and “Millie” proceeded to hang around me for the next few days after crashing that party is the subject of a whole other, weird post.)

One of these kinds of incidents was especially memorable, and a great example of just how easy it can be to miss the obvious when we are caught up in the moment during a reading.

A while ago, right before my guides prompted me to start giving channeled readings professionally, I attended a message circle started by another local medium. We’ll call her Anne. It was a new group, and only Anne, myself, and one other person were in attendance. (That other person would become my first client.) Anne was eager to teach us the process of evidential mediumship, and encouraged us to trust in the impressions we were receiving. She asked me to read her. 

As I tuned into Anne’s energy, I heard the name “Sofia,” and soon, a woman with short, wavy brown hair, dressed in a fancy dress, kind of like one an opera singer would wear to a concert, appeared in my inner eye. What I was seeing, in fact, was my grandmother as a young woman. I assumed that the person coming through for Anne must have looked a lot like her, and my grandmother was appearing as a clairvoyant symbol. As I described what I was seeing, Anne recognized her aunt. The name I had received was not her aunt’s name, however, so I chalked up my error to beginner’s bumbling.

The next day, I spoke to Anne over the phone. In the context of an unrelated conversation, seemingly not remembering the name I had brought through, she mentioned that she had been woken up the previous night by a spirit loudly announcing herself as Sofia, declaring herself to be Anne’s new spirit guide. “Do you think she might be Sofia, the goddess of wisdom?” Anne wondered.

After my phone call with Anne, I went to do my daily channeling session. During it, Salvador casually informed me that Sofia was a departed soul who had been drawn to the circle because of an association with “someone else” who was present, and had decided to become Anne’s spirit guide on the spot.

Then, it hit me, and I burst out laughing. I couldn’t believe it had taken me so long to realize what was going on.

My grandmother’s birth name was Sofia.

I had always known my grandmother by the Finnish version of her name she adopted in early adulthood - Sohvi. It was plain to see now that either she had been inspired to take on a new hobby as spirit guide to Anne - whose colorful personality in many ways reminded me of her - or, simply put, she was messing with her.

I sheepishly messaged Anne to inform her that most likely, her newly-minted spirit guide was not the ancient goddess of wisdom, but a mischievous matriarch from the family of Yours Truly. Should she choose to work with her nonetheless, they had my blessing. I thought they would get along just great. In fact, my “Sohvi-mummi” is most probably the person, if any such exists, from whom I inherited my psychic tendencies. It made perfect sense.

I told my mother about this incident, who in turn, told my uncle. My uncle took it in stride, saying that a few days after her death, when he had called her old home number, my grandmother had answered the phone with her maiden name, in the voice of a little girl. (She was deeply disoriented about time towards the end of her life, waking up in her nursing home to agitated thoughts of having forgotten to take the cows to pasture - something she had not done for over 70 years.) It seemed my grandmother had a history of being skilled in inter-dimensional communication.

I don’t think I am the only person studying psychic development or mediumship to whom this kind of thing happens. It’s an interesting phenomenon, and can lead to some very funny situations, as you can see. However, in the long-term, it is definitely in the best interest of everyone concerned to figure out when one’s energetic wires are getting crossed, and, failing that, maybe limit one’s reading practice to private, one-on-one sessions. Often, the simplest solution to these kinds of issues is simply to ask: “Who is this for? Is this for me? Is this for so-and-so?” Alas, so far, my experience has been that this doesn’t always work. So, has this ever happened to you? If so, have you figured out how to plan for such incidents and clear up the confusion? Let me know!

P.S. Since first posting this piece, Salvador has weighed in on how to beat this issue. Here is what he said.

[thestudyfeels]

How to Get Back Into the Creative Process

A definitive guide by @thestudyfeels 

If you follow me (highly recommended, shameless plug), you might’ve noticed that I haven't posted in, well, a million years. The reason being that for about two months I hit an incredible low when it came to making content. I had ZERO creativity and inspiration for quite some time, and if you're a creator, you might recognize that as the best recipe for disaster out there. It's finger lickin' good! (Wow, now I'm dissing KFC, what's this turning into, Wendy's twitter?)

As a rule, I refrain myself from writing posts when I'm dead, since I know without a doubt, that the ennui will automatically transfer into the post. (I sincerely hope that none of my readers are walking zombies with a taste for lifeless posts and aimless rambles. Signed, me.)

But the truth is, my life revolves only around creating and doing crazy shit so I couldn’t deprive myself of this litness for too long. It meant that I had to pick my shit up real quick and get my ass back into the game.

Which is exactly what I did. (This is how you clickbait, youngsters. Watch and learn.)

During my record-breaking low, I couldn't fathom the thought of writing because of the non-existent ideas. I really wanted to, after all I felt empty inside from not doing anything worthwhile, but the lack of inspiration was eating me alive. (Again with the zombie jokes. Sorry, lmao.)

As a creator, such experiences probably sound common. Allow me to assure you that it's okay to be completely blank. It's okay to feel like shit because you love bringing your imagination to life but just can't seem to at the moment. You will get back to grinding again. Never lose faith in that. In fact, I'm specifically writing this guide to help you get back into creating (oh, and to rant about how awesome it is and how I can't get enough of it).

[And yes, this guide works no matter what kind of a creator you are. Bloggers, vloggers, podcasters, writers, illustrators, editors - legit every single one of you who identifies as a creator. I got yo’ back, my Liams and Janes.]

Finally! Now, with the intro done, let's settle down (here's your mint tea and Oreo cookies—no, no burnt popcorn this time #DoItDifferent) and get on with what I promised. Drumroll please, for this marks the starting of a new era where you make a comeback in your field, better than you’ve ever been.

I'm excited to see you win.

Creating is tough. Truly. I find it funny how most people under-appreciate the Arts, because a) hello Monica, wake UP. We're making stuff here. Fresh, crisp, and hot out of our skull-shaped baking pans. Isn't that insane? And b) I doubt any of us would be happy without the sappy rom-com movies and mystery shows to look forward to, or philo books to engulf in a day, or fast-paced vlogs to binge watch or addicting gam- ok, you get my point.

Although most of us are aware of how incredibly demanding and magical the entire process is, we still beat ourselves up for lacking those creative juices at times. Here's a pat from my side and a reminder to NOT do that. Why? Because all creators go through a “dry period” where they feel like they're totally done and are never going to produce anything ever again. In fact, even pop stars routinely take a step back from their fast-paced lifestyles to restore their creative talent - Ed Sheeran being a somewhat recent example (and a great one, have you listened to Divide?). I mean, if they can pause their careers and afford to take a break, then so can you. So stop making excuses and take that day off.

You can also think of it this way: the juices dry up (stop sniggering, ya hoes) because you’ve been using your craft too much, too fast (remember, genius only happens in small quantities) but they start flowing better than ever after a short period of revitalization. So, if you ever find yourself stuck, gazing at the walls in despair, blank docs becoming your serial killers - take that break and don't feel guilty about doing so.

Alrighty, moving onto making that break productive and getting those creative juices back into us. Oh, and Monica? Wipe that stupid smirk off your face.

Now, I don’t know why you started creating (bless you for doing so though), but I do know that there must be something which ignites you and keeps you pushing, even when you hit the lows. This can be anything - nature, music, puppies, art galleries, your loved ones - absolutely anything that makes your soul dance inside and your face flush with pure joy.

During my break, I spent a majority of my time listening to mentors and reading non-fiction. And listening to angelic yet badass music (cough, Billie Eilish, cough). And watching sunsets. And taking pictures of said sunsets. And doing yoga outside while that glamorous sun continued to dip below the horizon. (And trusting all along that I'll get back on track soon.) All things I genuinely love, no effs given. From outside, it seemed like I was on vacay, chilling out; but from the inside, I could feel inspiration and hope trickling back in, my needle moving towards full tank once more.

Point is, DO NOT waste your break loitering about. It's fun to play and party, but the real disaster unfolds when you get back to work and realize you're in the same state again, if not worse. A creative break should centre on getting inspiration back. Figure out what feeds your soul, be it watching other creators, spending time alone, or having meaningful convos, and just do more of it. Re-energize. Rejuvenate. And revive your art.

Now that break’s over and you finally feel more in touch with your creativity, it's time to ease back into it. And I said ‘ease’ because see, the thing is you simply can't force this process. A hint: the more you force yourself for ideas, the more you start relying on your surroundings and other people's work and start losing your own originality. So don't push your creativity.

BUT, good news, if you used that break to rethink your craft, you'll ALWAYS come back with a bunch of ideas, which are much more inventive than anything you've done before. (If you don't, it might mean that you need to extend your break just a teensy bit more.)

Easing means getting back slowly. With consistency. Every single day, without fail, spend some time creating in small chunks. And you CAN'T say “fuck it” or ignore it and purposely start a new show on Netflix after closing that blank doc again in the next tab because you didn’t wanna face the guilt. That's a rule. Obviously, once you get comfortable with the process, increase your time and increase the number of “create” blocks.

This is your life, so don't you dare tell me you're tired or sad or can't make stuff, because I know you can. I've seen you produce magic before and I know you have it in you to create lit fireworks this time as well.

… And soon enough, you'll find yourself happier than ever, for you'll be creating again. I hope you'll feel proud of yourself, because I, for sure, will be.

PS: let's also talk about me finishing this post. This is the first one after my break, HOHOHO! *wiggles eyebrow, which doesn't exist* The girl's back at it again as you see, and I hope you're just getting started too.

We're in this together.

Want to read more? Kay, plopping down some related posts right away —

Read my last post: Biggest Takeaways from The Alchemist (book review, sorta?)

Mentioned: Ed Sheeran’s creative break of almost a year

Rebecca Green and her creative low (you see, it happens to everyone!)

An update chit-chat post by Rebecca on the burnout (if you want the entire story)

Interview Two: motivation to get going (talks about how inspiration comes from inside - me recommending ways to regain your creative energy won’t help for inspiration is different for everyone)

+ Want to request a blog post? Leave your request in my ask box!

Well, that’s a wrap! I post new articles twice a week, on every Sunday and Thursday, so you can follow me if you are into killing the game & conquering life. I’ll do my best to help you in the tough yet amazing journey called life. ✧

If you want to go through my blog, I suggest picking your choice of post from my masterpost list! Or, if you want to read something insightful on your cozy afternoon while chilling under blankets, I recommend reading one of my interviews. Feeling spoilt for choices? Here’s another! If you want to implement the ideas I share in my masterposts by taking action, take on one of my challenges!

I hope you are well; stay strong and conquer life, my conqueror.

— Nandini (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[dexondefense]

If you are taking prompts.... can you tell us more about this scenario? "At one point Ransom and Holster have to have a Talk with Nursey because Dex is getting upset about how much compulsion Nursey has been using on him. Especially when he made him dance with him last Kegster. Nursey has to awkwardly explain he had no powers of compulsion, he literally just asked Dex to dance with him. " Thank you!

Anon is referencing THIS POST.HAPPY FIRST DAY OF HALLOWEEN EVERYONE IT’S MONSTER TIME! Here’s a fic from the Monster Haus AU based off a prompt from last year (oops). Monster Haus AU: Featuring Elf Hoster, Sasquatch Ransom, and Vampire Nursey. 

Ransom liked to believe he was a good captain. Not just because of calls on the ice, but because of everything he put into keeping his team together and doing well off of the ice. Together he and Holster oversaw 21 different guys, with 17 different species between them. Keeping up with everyone was exhausting on a good day, but it was worth it. Ransom cared about every single guy on his bench and he knew Holster did as well. It came with the territory of having each others backs. So when Wicks ended up in the hospital after the full moon, and Tango locked himself in his room for two days after a heartbreak, and that time a professor tried to throw Sharper out of his class for getting slime all over the place – Ransom was there.

He had grown accustom to bizarre situations and unexpected issues arising out of no where, both on and off the ice, but this wasn’t something he had ever anticipated dealing with.

“What are we even supposed to say?” He asked Holster. It was the first words they’d spoken since they decided they needed to have this talk.

“I…We just tell him to knock it off, I guess,” Holster reasoned. There was a hard set to his jaw and he didn’t once glance at Ransom. Holster spent the majority of his life in various states of annoyance, but it wasn’t often Ransom actually ever saw him mad.

He wasn’t sure if it was an elf thing or just a Holster thing, but he was terrifying when he got properly angry. Ransom was about 99.8% sure it was just in his head, but anger made Holster seem taller, somehow, and his ears pointier.

He was losing it.

Ransom instead tried to focus straight ahead as they followed a girl with pink hair into the dorm building before the door could close.

“Do you think he meant to do it?”

“I don’t know,” Holster snapped, cutting Ransom off almost before he had the question out. Ransom was upset, his chest aching and head still spinning a little from the awkward conversation with Dex, but it was different for Holster. Nursey was his frog really. As ridiculous as it seemed, Ransom knew Holster felt somewhat responsible. Without another look at Ransom, Holster was slamming his fist against door 211. “YO OPEN UP MAN.”

“What the hell?” Came the response from the other side. There was the click of the lock and then Nursey was standing in the doorway, a look of anger melting quickly into fear as he took in the expressions on both of his captain’s faces. “Yo, what’s-”

“Can we come in?” Holster asked, bumping his shoulder into Nursey’s as he pushed past him. Nursey may have needed permission to enter someone’s room, but neither of them did.

Ransom did his best to hide any sympathy he might have felt at Nursey’s frightened look. They had a job to do here, and Nursey had messed up. Big Time messed up, and the two of them couldn’t let it pass.

“Derek.” Holster began as soon as the door closed, and Nursey winced visibly at the use of his fist name, “we need to talk about something.” The tone Holster used wasn’t one Ransom was used to hearing. It took Ransom a minute to realize he sounded exactly like Mr. Birkholtz. It was the same tone and timber he used when he had first introduced himself, and the first time Ransom had considered Elves as fearsome of creatures as everyone always said. It was an odd thought to have, Ransom knew, but it was hard to miss the hard consonants and the steady monotone. It made him sound older. It made him sound like an elf.

“About what?” Nursey looked paler than usual, one hand still on the closed doorknob like he might have to bolt at any moment.

“It’s about the last Kegster,” Ransom spoke up before Holster could continue. He doubted at this pace they were actually going to get an answer, and an answer was what Ransom wanted. Or maybe it was what he needed, because he refused to believe what he had heard.

“Oh…kay.” Nursey let go of the door knob, but still didn’t seem to want to leave the safety of the doorway. “Did I break something? I swear I’ll pay for anything! Or fix it! I’m not that good at fixing stuff, but I’m sure Dex-”

“Dex doesn’t want to talk to you right now,” Ransom cut off, hearing the edge in his own voice now.

Nursey seemed to instantly forget that he had been about to bolt, crossing the room in two steps to face them. “What? Why?” His eyes widened. “What did I do? Oh fuck what did I do?”

Ransom wasn’t an expert on vampires, he could admit that. There were a lot of lies spread throughout the actual truth when it came to them, but he knew that Nursey couldn’t have been too drunk to remember using compulsion. That kind of mind work required focus and a clear head. Not the kind of sloppy drunk that Nursey tended to get.

“You know what you did,” Holster scolded, like Nursey was an unruly puppy, at the same time Ransom said; “You used mind control on Dex!”

Nursey blinked, the nervous tilt of his brow momentarily disrupted by confusion. “What?”

“Dex came and talked to us,” Holster told him, arms crossed and back straight. “He told us what happened.”

This was possibly the most uncomfortable Ransom had ever been in his life. He didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to think Nursey was that kind of guy, but he knew Nursey well enough to know what the hand through his hair and the down cast eyes meant. Nursey was guilty and he knew it.

“That’s fucked up man,” Ransom told him before he could stop himself. “He’s your defense partner. That’s a fucking bond.”

“Not to fucking mention it’s fucked up in general.”

“Making a LAX Bro do the Macarena is one thing, but making someone kiss you is another-”

“We didn’t kiss!” Nursey interrupted, throwing his hands up like that could stop the barrage.

“Dex said you made him kiss you,” Holster accused.

“After you made him dance with you.”

“If you want to consider that dancing.”

“I didn’t want to say grind.”

“Well, now it’s too late.”

“WE DIDN’T KISS!” Ransom saw fangs when Nursey yelled, something almost feline in the frustrated growl he let out at the end. He seemed to realize what he had just yelled and at who, and ran his fingers through his hair once more, pulling lightly on the curly strands. “He just, kind of, I mean he kissed me, but not like, on the mouth.”

“What the fuck Nurse!?”

“No!” Nursey shook his head almost violently. “No he-” Nursey cut himself off, mouth hanging open in what might have been comical, had Ransom not felt such a strong urge to hit him. “Shit,” he whispered. “Shit, shit, shit.” Ransom thought for a moment that was the end of this discussion, that Nursey was just going to accept whatever punishment they planned on dealing out, before he turned to sit suddenly on his bed. “He kissed my neck,” he told them, sounding for all the worlds like he would rather be anywhere other than right there.

Holster snorted and Nursey shook his head again, but he seemed resigned.

“Okay, listen, I can explain. Sort of.”

“You fucking better.”

Nursey’s eyes were closed, fingers tapping rapidly against his leg in a nervous tick. “Uh, okay, so, truth is, uh…” He glanced up finally, a sheepish sort of smile on his face. “I…don’t exactly have any powers of compulsion.”

There was a pause, in which Ransom felt like he and Holster were waiting for some sort of punchline.

“What?”

“Yeah,” Nursey continued, sitting up and dripping with fake ease. “My mom can do it, but it takes years to learn and I can’t even get animals to do things, let alone a person. Or a fucking demon, holy shit.”

Holster seemed frozen in place, and Ransom thought he could feel a headache coming on. “Wait, what?”

Nursey shrugged, still failing at his attempt to seem casual. “I don’t know, everyone thought I could do it and I thought it was kind of funny and I just…rolled with it?” He lifted his shoulders along with his tone, seeming unsure himself how that was a question.

“What about the Macarena incident?”

“Honestly, I don’t know what was going on, but that was just happening and for some reason everyone thought it was me.”

“…Huh.”

“Wait,” Holster held up a hand and Nursey’s facade cracked for just a second. “How do we know you’re not just lying?”

“I don’t-OH! Chowder!” Nursey was on his feet and in their faces in an instant. He quickly seemed to remember the situation, and took a swift step back. “Chowder,” he repeated. “He knows I can’t compel people. You…kind of can’t lie to Chowder, you know.”

For the first time since they had barged into Nursey’s room, Holster looked back at Ransom. His face was an impassive as ever, but Ransom knew Holster’s expressions better than his own. He could read entire essays in the widening of his eyes and the soft curve of his frown.

When Ransom looked back at him, Nursey was tapping his fingers together again, his lip drawn between his teeth. Nursey was never an easy guy to read, and he looked a million miles away at the best of times, but now he might as well have been on another planet.

“We believe you,” Ransom told him finally.

Nursey blinked rapidly when he looked up, steadying himself back in reality from wherever he had just been. “Cool.” His smile was still tight, and he only held Ransom’s gaze for a moment before looking over his shoulder.

“So-” If Ransom had any sort of abilities to stop anything from happening, he would have used those powers now. Unfortunately, he lacked any such abilities and could not stop Holster from speaking. “Dex just got tipsy and tried to make a move on you at a Kegster?”

Nursey’s arms were crossed tight across his chest, eyes on the ceiling as he shrugged.

Holster scratched at the back of his head, his Elven posture and hard angles softening as he slouched back into something more familiar. “Uh, okay. So-”

“I think we should go talk to Chowder,” Ransom cut in before Holster could dig this pit of mutual awkwardness any deeper for them all. “You know, just to show we’re not being bias and all,” Ransom continued, thanking all of his English classes for his ability to pull plot out of his ass.

“Uh, yeah bro. Good call.”

“Yeah, so, uh, sorry about all this Nursey.”

“Yeah, sorry man.”

“Nah, it’s good.”

Ransom delivered an awkward arm punch to Nursey’s shoulder as he passed. Nursey’s eyes were still locked on the ceiling, and if Ransom wanted the floorboards to swallow him up, he couldn’t imagine Nursey’s current level of humiliation. Briefly Ransom considered actually using his ability to disappear into his surroundings, but controlled himself. Holster, though looking a little red around the ears, seemed less concerned than the two of them.

“All right, see you at practice man.”

“Yep, see ya.”

The second the door closed behind them Ransom heard Nursey groan on the other side. Or actually it sounded closer to a muffled scream, but he was trying not to focus on it. Holster looked about ready to collapse to the floor in what may have been exasperation.

“Fuck man, I hate the frogs.”

“So what do we do about Dex?” Ransom pressed on, not willing to indulge Holster’s dramatics.

“You can do whatever you want,” Holster told him, taking the stairs two at a time as they made their way out of the building. He pushed open the door with enough force that Ransom was worried he might have broken it. “I’m gonna punt his stupid fucking head out the window the second I see him.”

[lilacopal]

moonlight🌙

moonlight: in which lana and kai watch the eclipse of the blood moon with some friends, and both experience some butterflies in the moonlight while with some new people. AN: I’ve always done writing but I’ve never posted it anywhere so please take it easy on me lol. I hope you enjoy this will be one of many things I start to write

_

two best friends straight out of college still figuring out what to do next, where will you find them? los angeles obviously. it was lana’s dumb idea is what kai will tell you. which it was, she’d never been and everyone is going there so why not?

kai wasn’t sure about the crowds and all the traffic, but lana promised if it was too bad they’d go back to the chilly east coast. at the moment lana was driving the two of them to a friends house. they were in a cherry red car (don’t ask them what kind they won’t know) with the hood down and music blaring. they both had their hair blowing wildly looking like a bit from a movie.

“we’ll be at mali’s soon, are you excited for the blood moon?” lana asked kai happily.

“i am i’ve never watched something like this before so this’ll be fun” kai replied with a bright smile.

not too long after, they made it to mali’s house, lana had met her online she was a beautiful singer and they bonded over music, then lana told her all about kai, her best friend. and when they decided to go to LA she welcomed the two of them to her and her brothers place with open arms.

after parking they grabbed the small amount of suitcases they had attempting to hold all of them to avoid taking trips. both of them being lugging their stuff immediately regretting not taking trips.

“guys do you need help?” a voice asked laughing, it was mali coming out of her front door laughing at the two girls.

“yes please” lana yelled back then dropping all her stuff dramatically.

mali came over and helped her pick up her stuff.

“kai hun do you need help? calum come out here and help the girls with their stuff!” mali shouted.

from the front door came a tall boy who looked like he could be mali’s twin, he was wearing a snapback but you could see dyed blonde hair sticking out, also like his sisters. kai looked over at lana to see her making a look. her friend didn’t date much throughout college due to overstressing herself with work and dealing with breaking up with her high school boyfriend.

so kai seeing this glimmer in her best friends eyes was rare. it warmed her heart a bit, made her hopeful to see her happy again. kai herself wasn’t big on dating but she absolutely was not against the idea. who knows what LA could bring?

calum came over to her and took some of the bags out her arms.

“thanks, so much. i’m kai and over there is lana” she introduced herself.

“no problem and i’m cal. mali told me you guys were coming to watch the eclipse with us?” he asked as they made it into the house.

“yea we are, i’ve never seen an eclipse so i’m excited, lana is obsessed with space so this is right up her alley” kai remarked.

“hey stop making me look like a nerd we just got here!” lana hollered.

“i am not” kai yelped.

“no it's okay, that’s a cool thing to be into” calum laughed at their bickering.

“thanks” lana gushed with a grin. the short girl was already smitten, she started to feel flutters in her stomach and was feeling giddy.

mali lead them to her guest room that the two of them would share so they could unpack and settle in. soon their friends were arriving and then they’d watch the moon turn blood red. which kai was considering somewhat romantic and was wondering if lana was feeling the same.

“lana, my dearest friend i saw your look a little while ago” kai stated.

lana, who was laying on the bed look up from her phone looking a bit pink in the cheeks.

“what look? i don’t remember giving you any look” lana lied.

“yes you do, when calum came out you looked quite intrigued” she teased.

“so what if i did? he’s good looking, gorgeous like his sister” lana replied trying to seem unphased.

“it's been a long time bubs, if you’re looking for something it's okay to start now.” kai assured her.

lana took a deep sigh, “like you said it's been so long, maybe it's been so long for a reason?” she questioned aloud.

“or maybe you just haven’t found anyone and if calum might possibly be it, then you should find out. we aren’t going to be here forever” her friend pointed out.

“ugh i hate when you’re right” lana groaned putting her face into her hands. kai pulled her friend in for a comforting hug to help ease her for the anxieties of the nights possibilities.

_

after unpacking all their clothes and such and organizing their shared room, they went outside to help set up for the eclipse. it was nothing fancy some chairs around a fire, with a table covered with smores stuff and a telescope for looking at the moon.

it was pretty chilly outside for a night in LA, kai couldn’t help but roll her eyes at lana for wearing a tight white crop top, well at least she was wearing pants. the two of them we’re sitting next to each other by the warm fire, lana had her head leaning on her shoulder and was cuddled up to her.

“you’re so warm” lana looked up to her more as she snuggled up to her more.

kai giggled at her “well maybe if you wore clothes every once in a while you’d be warm to”

“hey i had to work my ass off to get this somewhat toned, stomach” she protested.

“you’re ridiculous, both of you are but mostly lana” mali chimed in from across from them.

the three girls just chuckled at each other for a moment. lana was very happy to be in LA, boston wasn’t feeling like home anymore. college was good but stressful, it drained her emotionally. also having a bad break up that you can’t move on from isn’t fun either. but she felt like this visit was another chance, a better start to adulthood. maybe she could move on from the past a bit.

speaking of moving on, calum came out with two other boys who looked about their age maybe a bit older.

“hey guys, this is roy and ashton” he said.

“hi, i’m lana and this is kai we’re friends of mali’s” she introduced them. she was kinda excited to start to meet more people, but obviously not as excited as kai.

kai had the look, that lana had on her face earlier. and god did she want to tease her about it but she was willing to sacrifice her entertainment to be a good friend.

both boys greeted them and she could immediately tell that her best friends eyes where on ashton, she’d give it to her he’s good looking. she knew her besties type and he was it, but it had more to do with his bright smile, kai melted at guys with good smiles. lana grinned with excitement at her friend, kai just gave her an eye roll.

the group made small talk about life and other things. both girls kept stuffing their face with smores and all kinds of junk food. everyone was fun and all got along well. it also helped that mali had a good playlist going. even if lana didn’t know the words she’d find a way to jam out to whatever song was on. she swayed her hips to the beat subconsciously nodding her head a bit, kai looked over to see calum watching her.

kai then glanced to her phone she was getting some likes from twitter on her online art. she pulled up the picture and sighed overly critiquing the work.

“sorry to snoop but that looks really good” she saw ashton, whom was sitting on the other side of her, looking at her phone.

“oh thank you and don’t worry that doesn’t really bug me” she blushed.

“okay cool. are you an artist?” he asked.

“well kind of? i majored in art in college, mainly to be a teacher for younger kids” she explained.

“that’s interesting, i don’t think i’ve met an artist. or kind of an artist” he laughed at himself.

she giggled with him, he had a really cute laugh. it made her feel fuzzy inside, like she had clouds in her brain. they continued some small talk, he talked about drumming and being in a band. how he has a younger brother and sister, and a lovely mother. kai talked about her two younger brother and her mom mostly, her dad only a bit. she also mentioned how lana loved her youngest brother who is 12, and he loved her a lot too. they had a funny relationship, there's videos of a teenage lana singing mariah carey to him in the car when he was in kindergarten. ash talked about all the videos of cal doing the goofiest things like carrying a microwave and wearing an afro in a live stream.

they both were so distracted, well at least kai was she almost forget why she was there in the first place. until she heard lana squeal and point at the sky frantically waving her arm up. calum went over to the telescope to adjust it so it was pointing directly at the moon and waved lana over. she went over and kai noticed that calum stayed behind her with his hand on her hip and she smiled.

everyone took turns looking up at the moon. kai had to admit it was quite beautiful, it was quite the beautiful night in a lot of aspects. she had a good feeling about LA something told her they’d be here for longer than planned. and maybe that wasn’t so bad.

_

kai and ash continued to talk for the rest of the night and exchanged pretty much all forms of contact. ash said he wanted to make sure he could reach her for emergencies, she laughed at this and obviously gave in to his ridiculousness. by the time he left it was early in the morning, when he did leave she walked him to his car and he kissed her cheek. a simple gesture that made her melt into goo on the inside.

but she wasn’t the only one currently melting, maybe it was the moon but blood red love was in the air. lana was in the backyard still with calum she was using the telescope pointing out her favorite constellations to him. she even showed him his aquarius constellation, it is aquarius season.

“that is orion's belt, another favorite, his greek hero story was my favorite” she was completely nerding out, no matter how hard she tried.

“you know so much about this stuff you’re like… a space babe” calum jokes. she was taken back in a good way her face was pink for the hundredth time that night.

“hey! what’s that supposed to mean?” she gasped waking him in the chest then turning away from him quick.

“no! i’m not try to make fun of you. you’re truly, something different, something special” he promised, turning her back to face him.

she opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by her own shivering. maybe a short sleeve shirt wasn’t a good choice for the night. calum smirked at her and pulled off his green sweatshirt.

“arms up” he stated simply. she listened and did as he said he slipped in over her head, the it fell to her thighs. she giggled looking at her sweater paws.

“you’re lucky you’re cute i don’t usually give my sweatshirts to girls who choose clothes that’ll make them cold” he clarified.

“i’m glad then, that i’m not one of many girls that get calums hood sweatshirt for the night” she fake gasped.

“i promise i’m not like that” he replied somewhat defensively.

“i don’t think you are but some guys are. trust me i know” she smiled forcefully.

he put out his pinky “i pinky swear that i’m not like that” she grinned. locking her pinky with his. now to her this means she’ll just have to stay for a while to see if he keeps it. something tells her he will.

_

kai lays in the big bed in the guest room still feeling light as a feather, floating in the sky. she’s cuddled up with her cute pink bunny pillow, not too far from her wa lana’s matching blue koala one. she wasn’t sure when lana would come in the room but she wasn’t focused on that really. then she slowly began to fall asleep.

to then a few minutes later to be awoken by lana ripping her suitcase apart. she looked over at her friend who seemed to be changing.

“what in the world are you doing?” kai asked.

“shit” lana whispered “nothing”

“lana valentina what are you doing?” kai growled.

“i am just changing into something comfier” lana defended herself.

kai eyed her she was in athletic shorts and a sports bra her usual sleep clothes, she liked being naked. but she didn’t look like she was planning on staying.

“where are you going?” she asked again in a warning tone.

“to cuddle with you duh” lana lied. kai glared she knows a liar when she sees one.

“fine i am going to calum’s room to cuddle, strictly cuddle. no nasty i swear on my life, may god strike me down if i’m lying” she blurted.

“its okay i believe you i just don’t like when you lie. you can just be honest.” kai huffed.

“i’m sorry, i’m just a bit on edge i’m not sure how mali will feel about me getting with her brother. so i was trying to be sneaky.” she admitted.

“did you see how he was acting all night towards you? eyeing your dancing, being all touchy mali saw her and roy gave approving nods to him, many times. don’t worry” kai reassured her.

“thank you” lana pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her cheek. they exchanged good nights and lana tip toed out the door.

_

the two best friends loved LA. they arrived feeling empty but then became fulfilled with the small bit of hope they needed. adulthood was going to be exciting, refreshing and heartwarming. and all it took was for someone to make them feeling like they were always in the moonlight. ✨

[theajaheira]

imperfections (57/?)

read it on ao3!

I’m Sorry In Advance

“I thought we were pretty clear about the whole we’re-leaving-the-Council thing,” said Jenny through her teeth, rinsing one of the used mugs and barely noticing the way the hot water stung her hands. “I mean, I was there, right? You weren’t exactly vague about your reasoning.”

“Yes, well, I assume Quentin is taking preventative measures,” Rupert answered, pouring tea into one of the washed mugs. “How many cups do we need?”

“Don’t make them tea,” Jenny snapped. Off Rupert’s somewhat wounded look, she sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m just—”

“This changes absolutely nothing, my love,” said Rupert firmly, taking the mug Jenny was washing and placing it in the dishrack. “I have made my stance clear, and I’ve no intention of altering it, regardless of what Travers might have to say.”

“But what about Buffy?”

“Didn’t you give me that whole speech about Buffy making her own decisions?”

“Last time that guy showed up, you left me,” Jenny blurted out. Humiliated, she turned back to the sink, grabbing a mug at random and beginning to haphazardly scrub.

There was a painfully long silence. Then Jenny felt Rupert step up behind her, winding his arms around her stomach. “I am never going to leave you again, Jenny Calendar,” he whispered. “All right? No matter who shows up at our door, the only place I’ll ever be is at your side.”

“I wish that that could just magically make me feel better,” said Jenny, her voice trembling. She tilted her head back, leaning into his chest. “But you were gone all that summer, and seeing him brought so much of that back for me.”

“Well, I’ll be here to hold you till you feel a bit better, how’s that?” Rupert suggested.

That made Jenny smile. “I can buy into that,” she mumbled, closing her eyes.

So Giles and Ms. Calendar were getting a tea tray ready for Creepy Travers and his Watcher Squad, which meant that Buffy got to sit in the same room with said Watcher Squad all by herself. Well, she had Faith, but Faith had spent the first five minutes alternating between glaring at the Watchers indiscriminately and angrily eating a snack bar she’d grabbed from Ms. Calendar’s purse, and then she’d left the main room of the library to clatter around in Giles’s office. Buffy got the sense that Faith wasn’t too big on Watchers since the whole Mrs. Post debacle.

As soon as Faith was in the office, Travers said, “Miss Summers, we came to talk to you and you alone.”

“O-kay,” said Buffy, finding herself wishing that Giles was here. He spoke stuffy academic way better than anyone she knew—mostly because he kinda was one, but it felt like it’d still be helpful right now. “What about?”

“We found it extremely concerning that your Watcher called us expressing your desire to leave the Council,” Travers explained, a small, weirdly cordial smile on his face. It seemed like he was trying to pull off “paternal” but didn’t really know how. “We wished to know whether these are truly your desires, or if Mr. Giles has in some way misled you into believing that abandoning the resources of the Council is a wise choice.”

“Well, I don’t think he’s misled me,” said Buffy, testing the waters. “Unless he was lying when he said you guys were planning to drug me on my birthday and lock me in a room with a crazy vampire.”

The fake-dad expression sort of froze on Travers’s face. “Well,” he said stiffly. “The Cruciamentum is actually why I arrived here to begin with. I wasn’t aware that he divulged its nature to you.”

“Yeah, he mentioned it,” said Buffy, giving Travers a small, tight smile. “And I said that that probably wasn’t something I wanted to be involved in.”

“Indeed,” said Travers. “Well. I am very sorry to hear that Mr. Giles has so absolutely failed in his duties as a Watcher.” There was a new note to his voice now, one that Buffy didn’t like at all. “Steps will have to be taken to make sure that the Council does not make such a drastic mistake again.”

“You’re kinda missing the point,” said Buffy indignantly. “It doesn’t matter whether or not the Council is making a mistake. I quit the Council, remember?”

Travers was looking at Buffy in this weird, assessing way. “Certainly,” he said, then stood, motioning for his Watcher Squad to do the same. “Give Mr. Giles my regards,” he added over his shoulder, “and tell him I apologize for leaving before tea was served.”

As the library doors swung shut, Buffy sat there, a foreboding feeling in the pit of her stomach. She never, never liked it when both her Slayer-senses and her Buffy-senses agreed that something wasn’t right.

“Sho he jush leff?” said Xander with his mouth full.

“I’m sorry?” said Giles, giving Xander an exaggeratedly confused look. Jenny smacked his shoulder.

Xander rolled his eyes, but swallowed, already going in for another bite of his sandwich. “So he just left?” he repeated. “No follow-up conversations, no severance pay, no nothing?”

“Yeah, Giles, no severance pay?” Faith piped up.

Glancing between Giles and the children, Jenny looked suddenly worried, as though the oddness of Travers’s sudden departure had only just occurred to her. Giles knew Travers well, and knew that his leaving so abruptly meant that he was undoubtedly constructing a plan to bring Buffy back into the fold, but bringing this up in front of an uncharacteristically fragile Jenny felt like a needlessly callous thing to do. They could talk things out tomorrow, Giles decided, perhaps without the children there; the events were still fresh and upsetting for her, and he didn’t feel like alleviating her concern. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” he said, and punctuated his statement by pressing a kiss to Jenny’s temple. “Willow, why don’t you tell us about that fundraiser you’re putting together for the robotics team?”

“Really?” Willow blushed. “You wanna hear about that?”

Jenny was giving him a Look, one that very clearly said I know what you’re doing. Giles very pointedly ignored it. “I think we could all do with some lighthearted discussion,” he said.

Willow launched into an explanation of the brownie sale she’d be running next Sunday, and how she was hoping that they could all maybe make brownies for it, and how Xander had better not do that thing he did sophomore year where he ended up eating half the batter by accident. Xander had some exaggerated objections to this statement, and Faith thought they were all very funny, but the look on Jenny’s face lingered until the children had all trooped upstairs to do their homework in Faith’s bedroom.

“You can’t shake this one off,” she said as soon as they were alone. “I don’t like that he left without checking in with you.”

“Jenny—”

“Rupert, if something’s wrong, tell me,” Jenny snapped. “I don’twant you treating me like I’m about to have a full-on emotional breakdown just because Travers is back in town.”

“And I wouldn’t be doing so if I didn’t have good reason to do it!” Giles persisted as gently as he could. “Seeing Travers again, and so unexpectedly, under incredibly similar circumstances to the last time he was here—that’s bound to have an effect on you, and it isn’t helped by you trying to hide it from me!”

“Maybe I don’t wanna talk about what’s going on with me right now!” Jenny shot back. “Okay? Something is going to happen, Rupert, and you shaking my well-founded concerns off in some misguided attempt to protect me isn’t doing either of us any favors!”

“You’re not thinking clearly—”

“You’re brushing me off!”

“Uh, guys?”

Giles and Jenny whirled. Willow, Xander, and Faith were all standing in the doorway, all with worried expressions. “You were getting kinda loud, that’s all,” said Faith uncomfortably. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes—” said Giles.

“No,” said Jenny loudly, and turned, pushing past the kids and hurrying out of the kitchen.

Faith looked genuinely shaken. “She’s not usually like that,” she said unsteadily. “I’ve seen Jen upset, but I’ve never seen her upset like that.”

“She was like that a lot last summer,” said Xander, his eyes fixed almost accusingly on Giles. “Does this have something to do with the Council?”

Giles exhaled. Little as he liked the way it had come about, Jenny had a point about his attempting to sweep genuine danger under the rug. “She’s concerned about Travers leaving so abruptly,” he said. “She thinks he’s planning something. We had something of an argument about the way I was choosing to handle that concept.”

Willow crossed her arms, tilting her head. “Are you gonna leave again?” she asked a little coldly. “Because she’s acting the way she did back while you were gone, and—”

“I’ve told her countless times that I am here to stay,” said Giles miserably.

To his relief, Willow seemed to register the truth in his words. Her face softened. “Well, it kinda seems like she’s not getting the message,” she said. “Maybe you should try telling her again?”

“Perhaps,” said Giles distantly, reaching to adjust his glasses. “Excuse me.”

He squeezed between the children, exiting the kitchen to find the door ajar. It was nearly sunset, and while there weren’t that many vampires in their neighborhood, Giles and Jenny had a mutual agreement that no one went out after school unless it was on patrol or to fight the monster of the week. Wincing a bit—Jenny must have been quite upset to forget that rule—Giles stepped outside, looking around.

There was no one in sight. This struck Giles as odd, especially since Jenny’s car was still in the driveway, and a twinge of worry was added to the guilt. He began to walk down the block, but Jenny was still nowhere to be found. He used the time it took to reach the street corner to contemplate what they’d argued about. She hadn’t been wrong about the Council, he knew, and it was certainly within the realm of possibility that they might use her to get to him. The Council had done a number of somewhat-unethical things under the guise of protecting the Slayer line, all of which Giles had believed completely reasonable at the time, but now…

Rounding the street corner, Giles was met not with Jenny, but with Travers. “What on earth are you doing here?” he said sharply, too concerned about Jenny to care about cordiality. “I was under the impression that you’d left town.”

“Appearances can be misleading, Rupert,” said Travers simply. “I came to question you further about a remark your Slayer made during my conversation with her.”

“Oh?” said Giles, nowhere near dropping his guard.

“She mentioned that you had informed her of the Cruciamentum,” said Travers, leveling Giles with an almost calculating look. “You are aware that this sort of breach in tradition is a firable offense?”

“Very aware,” Giles agreed.

“And you are aware why it is a firable offense?”

This took Giles aback. “I’m sorry?”

“The Cruciamentum allows us to assess the tactical abilities of the Slayer,” Travers explained. “Removing her power, placing her up against a vampire, shows whether or not she is worthy of possessing preternatural strength. A Slayer must be able to win her battles even when at a disadvantage. Only then—”

“Skip the cryptics, Travers,” said Giles shortly, his mind still on Jenny and the children. “What do you want from me?”

“Regardless of whether the Cruciamentum is implemented,” said Travers, “you and I both know that the Slayer must still be tested.” He took a step forward, eyes on a spot behind Giles. “You and your Slayer have formed a bond,” he said. “That much is clear. She spoke of you with a kind of blind loyalty, and I believe it more inhibiting than any drug could be, at least in her case.”

Giles scoffed. “Buffy’s loyalty, her compassion, all of that makes her stronger—”

And that was when something hit him from behind, hard enough to knock off his glasses. His vision blurred from a combination of pain and poor eyesight, Giles staggered back, and found himself in the grip of one of the Council lackeys Travers had brought with him.

“I do apologize, Rupert,” said Travers earnestly, sounding genuinely remorseful. “You’re needed for this portion of the analysis.”

[thesydneyfeminists]

Joss Whedon and Vee: It’s Complicated

By: Vee H.

Here’s the thing, I have a confusing relationship with Joss Whedon. If we were “Facebook official” (does anyone still call it that, or have I just revealed my true spiritual age of 105?) our relationship status would be “it’s complicated”. It didn’t used to be like that; as a teenager, I probably would have said my favourite tv show was Buffy The Vampire Slayer, with its spin-off, Angel, in second place. I fell in love with a premise that Whedon certainly did not create (one girl in all the world, blah blah) nor was he the best at executing it. Whether it was the characters he’d created, the actors playing them, the witty scripts and storylines – or a mix of all of these things, I was hooked. I staunchly defended the show, and by proxy, Whedon himself, from any harsh criticisms, and overlooked anything that now, as a 32-year-old, stands out as (and I hate using this word) problematic. I followed him from Buffy; to Angel, Dr Horrible’s Singalong Blog, Dollhouse (look, I skipped Firefly for some reason, I’ve tried dipping a toe in but space cowboys aren’t for me, it seems), and that’s not to mention the movies he had a hand in (not an exhaustive list) – The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers and The Avengers Age of Ultron. I was loyal, if Whedon’s name was attached, most likely, I was all in. There was something comforting and familiar about his humour, the way he told his stories – all of them laughably simple but layered to make them more complex. Like Shrek and onions.

So maybe you’re wondering where I took a left turn, jumped off the Joss Whedon Fan Train, as it were. Admittedly, it was a slow process, it wasn’t just a running leap off into the unknown post-Whedon world. A few years after Angel ended, some things circulated in the Buffy and Angel fandoms, rumours of how he treated his favourites, and those who had fallen out of favour with him. One of those people being Charisma Carpenter. In 2009 at a convention, a fan asked her how she felt about Cordelia’s last story line in Angel and how the show changed after her departure. While she didn’t explicitly come out and say the exact reason, she hinted that Whedon had been mad at her for making certain life decisions that would directly impact the vision he had for his show. Rumours have long since abounded that, in short, he punished her for falling pregnant. Obviously, no one but Carpenter and Whedon know the true story and at the time of hearing it, I took it with a grain of salt, but that seedling sat in the back of my mind and began to grow. After all, it explained a lot about the fourth season of Angel, and why the character of Cordelia made a complete 360. It was here that my relationship with Whedon started to sour, I began to question how someone who was so outspoken and publicly proud to be a feminist, could treat a woman that he had worked with for nearly a decade like that.

With that knowledge in mind, it was hard not to view some of the dialogue and plot points in his media a little differently, this is only one small example, but looking back, there is way too much slut shaming going on in Buffy to the point where Faith (my favourite character in the whole series, don’t @ me, I’ll defend her until I die) is seen as a lesser person than everyone else, because other female characters (Willow, Cordelia and Buffy herself) have branded her as a “cleavagey slutbomb”. Sure, ok, she goes and kills a bunch of people but they focus on her being slut much more than a psychopath – and I feel the need to point out that we only actually saw her sleep with one person (Xander) by the time the slut shaming actually started, and not that we should count, but Faith only slept with three people (Xander, Robin, and Riley in Buffy’s body) in the whole course of the show. And she killed four humans. Which means in Joss Whedon’s world, if you’re a woman, having sex is a worse crime than murder. Not exactly a feminist message.

Cut to just last year, when Whedon’s ex-wife, Kai Cole, came out with a heartbreakingly honest account of just what went down in their marriage. Details of his infidelity, gaslighting and emotional manipulation came spilling out of her, and sure, you could argue she was an embittered ex-wife, wanting to hit him where it would hurt the most, but it’s interesting to note that Whedon himself has never actually outright denied or refuted these claims. And ok, infidelity does not strip you of the right to call yourself a feminist, but as written by Clementine Ford “it's about how he absolved himself in a letter sent to Cole after his infidelity had finally been exposed, blaming the women he cheated with, calling them "beautiful, needy, aggressive young women" who "surrounded" him.” It’s about how he used his feminist badge as a shield, claiming he was raised feminist so he just liked women better, or how he claimed in a letter to Cole, and I quote, “in many ways I was the HEIGHT of normal, in this culture. We’re taught to be providers and companions and at the same time, to conquer and acquire — specifically sexually — and I was pulling off both!”

With all of these things in mind, I started to see Whedon’s feminism as what it likely is; performative, a way to excuse his behaviour, a safeguard to hide behind as if to say, “oh no, I am not like other men at all, although I may act as other men do and fully accept my privilege as a cis-het white male, I’m different. Because I’m a feminist so when I do these terrible things to women, it’s ok, because I love, respect and support women.” Maybe he truly believes he’s a feminist, publicly, he flies the flag very well, and there’s no denying he’s profited from this label, heralded as a great feminist hero, an ally to women everywhere. It’s only when you start to scratch the surface, peel back the layers of the Shrek-onion, do you start to see him for what he (in my mind) really is. A dudebro playing at being the nice guy, someone who says all the right things but whose actions don’t quite match up, in fact, they crumble under any real scrutiny (for further proof of this, go read the leak of the Wonder Woman script, allegedly by Whedon. If you can make it through the whole thing, I’ll buy you a coffee – hell if you can make it through the first 10 pages).

Where does that leave Joss and I then? I admit that I’m conflicted, in a culture that has moved more and more towards “cancelling” people I’m the proverbial fence sitter. I acknowledge that there are people, media, etc that are problematic (the dreaded word) and I think everyone has the right to decide whether or not to consume said media. And for myself, personally, I endlessly flip between the two schools of thought. I won’t watch anything new with Johnny Depp, nor anything from Woody Allen, for example, but I have gone back (since Amber Heard spoke of her abuse at his hands) and watched some of Depp’s older movies. Some people have told me that they disagree, that even watching his older stuff is wrong, that I should ban all forms of Depp media from my life otherwise I am giving him my tacit approval, and that’s their choice and their right, but I suppose I’m still working out where I want to draw the line. I (maybe naively and incorrectly) believe that I can view a piece of media and know its flaws, or the flaws of the person behind it, but still somewhat enjoy it for what it is, or the story it’s telling.

Maybe that’s where I am with Whedon, somewhere in between, neither in the black or the white, somewhere in the shades of grey, because that’s how life is sometimes. I don’t think he’s a fully bad person, nor do I think he’s a fully good person. I think he’s human, and humans are inherently flawed. And maybe that feels like a cop out, but it’s all I have to offer right now. My view of him will never be as it once was, and thus my viewing of the media he has created and produced will likely reflect that. Re-watching Buffy and Angel has become a different experience; I’m no longer blindly swept up in the twists and turns, the witty repartee between characters, but instead viewing through a different lens, one where I question what message he's really trying to send, what his true intentions are. Instead of laughing at every single joke, they never quite land right with me anymore, my childish naivety gone, replaced with the simmering anger of a woman who wonders why sexist jokes and judgements are supposed to be funny, why the rape of a female character is an excusable plot device to teach men a lesson. It’s exhausting to second guess someone I don’t even know, but this is the brave new world that a combination of his behaviour and my own feminist journey has left me in. These days, I wouldn’t ever say “I love Joss Whedon”, like I would’ve back in my teenage years, more likely you’ll find me saying “I loved Buffy but God it’s weird to watch as an adult”.

Like I said, it’s complicated.

Sources:

http://oranges8hands.tumblr.com/post/117924895453/charisma-carpenter-transcript-on-being-fired

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_igTbXKPck

https://www.thewrap.com/joss-whedon-feminist-hypocrite-infidelity-affairs-ex-wife-kai-cole-says/

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/clementine-ford-why-joss-whedons-treatment-of-exwife-kai-cole-matters-20170821-gy16lx.html

https://indiegroundfilms.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/wonder-woman-aug7-07-joss-whedon.pdf

Image sources:

Yahoo.com

tenplay.com.au

[yukipri]

YOI Future!Verse ABO AU, Visual Headcanon Web Charts #01

So I always wanted to make one of these. Turns out my headcanons for the most part are WAY too wordy for these things and uh, they’re a bit of a mess >.>;; BUT I hope nonetheless that they’re somewhat fun to read even if barely legible, it was fun to make ^ ^;

1. Super basic relationship chart of the core members of the lovely poly family in this AU.

2. “Adults Think,” the color of each adult indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

3. “Kids Think,” the color of each OC kid indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

There’s obviously a lot more to it than what could be crammed in the lil text boxes, but a gist and pretty much the first things that immediately popped into my mind regarding their interactions. 2 and 3 also mostly show their thoughts while the kids are younger, which will change a bit as they grow up, to be covered in a future post.

*Recommended you right click view image to see full size bc the text is tiny oops

Because the text is so illegible, text only versions of charts 2 and 3 beneath cut, all elaborated quite a bit because I’m so rambly oops:

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IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s Yuuri-centric polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri’s married to four mates (Victor, Yurio, Phichit, Minami) and they have OC kids.

BASICS of this AU

INTRO to how ABO works in this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.

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Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.

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PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

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Yuuri thinks:

Victor: Vitya I love you but there are some things I REALLY wish you wouldn’t encourage with the kids, I don’t care if you could do it when you were younger it’s terrifying!!

Yurio: Yura, how does it feel now that the kids all think you’re older than me? NO don’t use this as an excuse to call me baby-faced!!

Phichit: PHICHIT please knock some sense into the others, you’re my only hope!--NO don’t just sit back and laugh! I was counting on you!

Minami: Kenjirou, you’re my student and husband NOT my butler, I can get my own bags thank you very much.

Yasha: Darling you can wear whatever you want but PLEASE wear SOMETHING under that dress the old ladies at the park will never look at me the same again

Shura: You don’t need to try so hard to be a rebel, and you also don’t need to spoil Yasha so much. Just tell him no, he’ll deal.

Arisa: Darling it’s amazing that you can do that and I’m so proud of you but please don’t hack the neighbor’s security system again, it’s very hard to explain to them that my toddler was just stretching her intellectual curiosity.

Yuuji: Yuuji, your smile warms my weary soul and I’m sure you’ll inevitably be a little trouble maker too but let me be in denial a bit longer.

Victor thinks:

Yuuri: It’ll be fun, they can handle it, please don’t look at me like that, I’m (pretty) sure they’ll be okay...

Yurio: You may seem like the more responsible parent but you’ll always be my cute bratty student. Now that my seniority is less obvious though, I’m comfortable making you indulge my own brattiness too. what do you mean you were always forced to indulge my brattiness

Phichit: You may act like the most reasonable parent but I see through you--and I’m proud. We’re startlingly alike if I’m honest. Let’s conquer the world.

Minami: You may be a bratty puppy but I rest easy knowing you’re always be Yuuri’s side. Couldn’t ask for a more loyal or dangerous watch dog. Don’t worry I do think of you as human, really.

Yasha: Trust me, I know how fun it can be to tease your brother but take it easy sometime, yes? I love you having fun but it hurts my soul to see Shura have red eyes so often...though yes I do admit that’s cute too OTL

Shura: Sweet child, come here, did Yasha make you cry again? Daddy will give you all the hugs. Don’t run away just because Yasha’s in my other arm!

Arisa: I feel like your adorable eyes are judging me...and guess what, they’re still adorable!! It’s okay, you can judge me all you want! *HUGS*

Yuuji: I have dropped the dishes so many times because it looked like you wanted a hug...I can’t help it...you’re like, a super mini Yuuri...

Yurio thinks:

Yuuri: OI Katsudon, I made this new food thing, try it, am I better than Phichit yet? YEAH NO I know I won’t ever be a better all rounder than him but...what, it’s really good? W-W-WELL OF COURSE IT IS I KNEW THAT HA HA HA *flees*

Victor: I’m mature enough now to recognize what a brat you can be, not that I didn’t already know but--HEY DON’T LAUGH THAT WASN’T PERMISSION

Phichit: Okay FINE I admit I need your help...stop looking so smug! Yes, ugh, fuck that’s clever, alright I know (fuck it’s worse because he’s genuine and never follows up with “I told you so”)

Minami: YOU HAVE SOME NERVE CALLING ME YOUR RIVAL JUST BECAUSE YOU WON GOLD OVER ME TWICE, it was all thanks to Yuuri! NO I’m not being overly conscious of you as a competitor, ugh FINE I admit your skating really impresses me but FUCK YOU

Yasha: Brat, did you just...make me run around the house five times for no reason at all?? UGH I’m not even mad, I’m too tired and too used to this, it’s my own fault for falling for it every time...

Shura: What do you MEAN “I bet you cried a lot when you were a kid too,” don’t say that to me while CRYING like ugh FINE will it make you feel better if I said I did??? Please stop crying I don’t want you to cry OTL

Arisa: Risa, I don’t want to suspect you, but I have a hunch you might be the one putting the twins up to mischief and I think you’re still too young and I want to think you’re as pure and innocent as you look but...dare I trust my instincts on this...

Yuuji: YUUJI YOU EASE YOUR FATHER’S WEARY SOUL how are you so pure you seem to make my adult exhaustion melt away...

Phichit thinks:

Yuuri: Perks of marrying your BFF: know just the perfect amount to pamper and also to tease. And also know all the deepest darkest secrets you’re too embarrassed to tell your other mates. Shh it’s okay they’ll never hear it from me ;D

Victor: We had some rough moments early on but you’re a good guy, Victor. I recognize our compatibility. Let’s conquer the world together and present it to Yuuri.

Yurio: I’ll look after you, not-so-lil Russian, you leave your troubles to me. I know how vulnerable you can be and I see you as my own now.

Minami: Kenjirou may act like a super groupie but he has it together better than most of us. I trust him to still prioritize Yuuri even in situations where the rest of us are emotionally compromised, which gives me the confidence to go full offense.

Yasha: Oh, you say someone’s picking on Shura at school? Okay, so here’s what you do, and here’s how to pin the blame on someone else because we wouldn’t want Yuuri to be called to school yeah?

Shura: Your brother’s picking on you again? But you don’t want him to stop either? Well then, how should we solve this? Oops is he a future masochist to Yasha’s sadist...

Arisa: I see what you did there, very clever, I’m proud! But if Yuuri found out he’d have a heart attack, so let’s not do that again, okay? Here’s something even more difficult for you to try to figure out...

Yuuji: Yuuji sweetheart I know making Victor drop dishes is funny but Yuuri likes those dishes, one last time ‘kay? You can make him do other things equally amusing but slightly less destructive of our collective family property.

Minami thinks:

Yuuri: Y-Y-Yuuri-san, NO I still can’t take the honorific off, I RESPECT YOU TOO MUCH plus it makes it feel that much more intimate in bed *turns brilliant red to match his hair streak*

Victor: Victor look at what I taught the twins!! Aren’t they absolutely amazing?! They’re going to break all of your records! And I can tell you’re not even upset :’D

Yurio: I never mentioned rivalry, you were the one who used that word first? ;3 But in all honesty, it’s an honor to be considered the rival of Yuuri-san’s rival so I’ll fight my hardest to not let that title go to shame.

Phichit: The fact that you are both fun and terrifying is not news to me, I’m glad you’re my family and not my enemy. I’ve seen what you can do to your enemies. Participated too, actually he he.

Yasha: You and your bro are perfect angels and I’ll show you all the cool skating things! I’m so happy your enthusiasm hasn’t died as you’ve grown older <3

Shura: It’s good to cry! Cry all you want! I’ll cry with you too! It can be a real sobfest! And then Yuuri can bring us tissues and then it can be a snotfest! Whoo!!

Arisa: DARLING CHILD you are the sweetest and you’d never do anything naughty, I have not a clue what the others are talking about. *genuine*

Yuuji: *SOBBING*

Yasha thinks:

Yuuri: MOM IS THE BEST AND MINE, YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM, and that includes all you dads so back off ;P

Victor: Dad is weak to puppy eyes and will give me anything I want. His affection can sometimes be stifling, but I love him nonetheless.

Yurio: Dad always gets flustered really easily and it’s fun to test his boundaries. And push them. And break them. But he never snaps, I think he’s getting stronger...

Phichit: The really smart dad who sees through all the pranks but still plays along, even intentionally lets me finish playing my pranks on him. It’s a bit annoying even if I appreciate it. I gotta up my game.

Minami: Ken-chan’s the BEST and he and mum are gonna kick dads’ (Victor + Yurio) asses in the next competition. I’ll cheer for dads too but Ken-chan’s No. 1!

Shura: He’s fun to make cry because he gets riled up, but the best part is the comforting that I get to do afterwards because no matter how mean I am he still comes running <3

Arisa: I’d beat you up if you hurt my sister, except she’d do it first and better than I ever could so I’ll just be prepared and bring the popcorn and watch from the front row, maybe help with clean up.

Yuuji: He’s not as innocent as he looks but you won’t hear it from me. Let the others live in denial, come to the dark side in your own time lil bro.

Shura thinks:

Yuuri: I want mum’s attention but Yasha hogs it, but mum’s the best so he makes time for me too and not just for selfish jerks like Yasha. Even if I have to share. It’s okay. I love how mum loves everyone all the same.

Victor: Dad spoils me rotten but he’s not a good shield against Yasha because he also spoils Yasha rotten. He spoils everyone. It’s okay tho, dad has a lot of spoiling to go around.

Yurio: Dad sorta gets picked on too and I sympathize...it makes me feel better knowing he was probably just like me when he was younger. The hard part is getting him to admit it, but that’s what other parents are for.

Phichit: Dad holds the answers to life and the universe in his magic smartphone. He has yet to fail to answer a single question but I’ll keep trying.

Minami: Ken-chan always plays with us even when he’s busy and shows us all the cool skating things! I didn’t get why he wasn’t dad too when Yasha and I were younger, but I’m glad that’s fixed now, though I still can’t shake the habit of calling him Ken-chan.

Yasha: He makes me cry and is such a JERK but I can’t stand to be away from him, it makes me so anxious, and he gives good hugs too so I forgive him (am I being too easy on him...)

Arisa: I want to say I protect her but it’s honestly the other way around, the best I can do is make sure she doesn’t hurt herself because she’s really reckless and it’s TERRIFYING, I sympathize with mom...

Yuuji: PLEASE DON’T STEP ON MY LIL BRO, HE IS VERY SMOL, he looks like he would go squish with one step! Risa wasn’t this smol?? What do you mean I’m bigger now so my sense of size is biased...?

Arisa thinks:

Yuuri: I’m going to protect mum. He doesn’t need it, at all, but I can do it so I will.

Victor: Dad acts gullible but I’m not fooled. He’s weak to puppy eyes though, that’s for real. And I have the best puppy eyes, or second to Yuuji. I’m okay being second to Yuuji.

Yurio: Dad’s trying really hard but he’s also really gullible so I can’t help but tease him. It’s okay I won’t be too mean, and I’ll even reign Yasha back some.

Phichit: Dad knows I’m smart and will protect my bros so he gives me the tools and education to do so. I don’t think mum and my other dads know just quite how much but it’s okay. We’re not hiding it on purpose.

Minami: If you hurt Ken-chan, I’ll knock your teeth out. I’d say “with my fists,” but I don’t think I can reach. It’s okay, I’m creative.

Yasha: My partner in crime, he’ll follow my orders even if they’re impossible and will somehow make it work. Because Yasha’s a miracle-worker and I believe in him.

Shura: The only ones who can make him cry are me and Yasha. But we do it a lot. Which means he has no more tears for anyone else. Back off or I’ll make you disappear : )

Yuuji: He is my squishy smol. He’s smaller than me! He never complains when I hug him and squish his cheeks until they turn red, and then I feel a bit bad...

Yuuji thinks:

Yuuri: Mum is the best! He gives me a lot of attention because I’m the youngest, but I kinda want a younger sibling too. Dads always hush me when I try to bring it up and I don’t really get why.

Victor: Dad spoils me rotten and I kinda feel bad because he never says no to me (or any of us), but when I mention it he gets all teary eyed and spoils me worse...^ ^;

Yurio: Dad is too paranoid about my safety. I’ll be big and strong like the others too! Just wait! Look how big dad is, I’ll be that tall one day too. What do you mean, that’s not how genetics works?

Phichit: Dad makes the best food, I wish he were home more often...I know he’s busy with his ice show in Thailand and it’s really really cool but I miss him...

Minami: Dad says he hit his growth spurt late, because he presented late. I BELIEVE! I won’t be smol forever!

Yasha: Yasha-nii has really good instincts and is there when I need him. It’s like he has a special radar and then brings the whole cavalry. So I don’t need to worry about going anywhere by myself--what do you mean, I shouldn’t be wandering off in the first place??

Shura: Shura-nii got picked on again, it’s okay, here’s a cookie I made with Yuri-dad and here’s a hug, I have short arms but love power!

Arisa: She’s my favorite sister! Even if she’s my only one! She gets really proud when I say it and I’m happy she’s happy so I say it a lot.

[sambart93]

2017.09.18 Oushitsu Kyoushi Haine Review!

I was able to go to the Live Viewing of this stage! Which I am thankful for because tickets were impossible! I watched the anime when it first came out and loved the anime and fell in love with Haine and the fact that it's UeChan and Haine himself is adorable just made it all the more 'I must watch this!'

If you want more details about the overall story and plot of this stage then you can go to this blog post I just found here.

Official Website here Official Twitter here Press Coverage 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 Video Coverage 1, 2, 3 PreOrder DVD/BR here, and here

However, my expectations for this musical did drop somewhat when on the Friday, I was outside the theatre (waiting for a trade) when I noticed, everyone that walked out were deadly silent and not smiling or speaking really. I’ve never seen that happen with a stage before! So it really worried me; did people not like it? Was it bad? What went wrong? Did something happen on stage? Did an actor get hurt? All these things went through my mind and ultimately it really pulled down my expectations for it. And then my friend went and was also like ‘before I went in for the night show, none of the afternoon audience were very waiwai (hyper, happy, fangirling) when they left.. and then I saw it; I understand why they weren’t waiwai but I think I’m not waiwai for different reasons’ so then I really had like minus expectations going into this. Which is a shame because thy anime is a amazing, the cast for this is solid, it has a lot of potential and room to grow and have fun and be a really enjoyable stage. But from what me and my friend had seen... it wasn’t promising =/

Anyway lets get down to it:

CAST and CHARACTERS

Ueda Keisuke as Haine Hirose Daisuke as Leonhart/Leonhard Asato Yuya as Kai Aoi Shouta as Rihito / Richi Adachi Yuto as Bruno Tatsuma Hoshi as Maximilian Udagawa Tsukasa as Lugwig Kimisawa Yuki as Rosenberg Nobuo Kyo as Victor Ensemble

NON SPOILER REVIEW Overall: This is going to be really stupid, and I know it, BUT... there was too much singing. I felt like 70% of this is just song after song after song (according to one press release, this musical has over 40 songs) with no plot or scenes of dialogue. Especially the beginning. The first 30 minutes are absolute torture of song after song and I got very agitated and bored of it very easily and felt like ‘get to the story already!’. Luckily the singing simmers down once we get past Leonhart’s arc and get into Kai and Rihito’s story; there’s definitely less singing and actual acting and scenes once that beginning is over. Asato Yuya as Kai was absolute perfection; he couldn’t have done a better job. Rihito’s arc in the stage is VERY good and very enjoyable. I absolutely adored Aoi’s performance  as Rihito in this part of the stage and his song in the climax of the arc actually made me cry pretty hard. Kimisawa really surprised me with his singing; his singing is absolutely amazing. I was so impressed! But after a while, what with apparently there being 40 songs in this stage, all his song started to sound the same and repetitive. But his voice is gold. I really enjoyed Nobuo Kyo’s performance and thought he fit Victor pretty well. UeChan was obviously a great Haine and his performance always fascinated and entices me. Although I will say; this musical version of Haine lacked in comedy and lightheartedness which is a shame because they could’ve done so many cute and adorable moments with UeChan as Haine but they didn’t do it so much; only now and again would there be cute Haine moments which I'm sad about. And because of the lack of comedy and lightheartedness, the musical feels very down and dark and it’s actually tiring to watch after about the first 110minutes. I noticed the audience around me in the cinema started to get really fidgety and restless after about 100 minutes, and I started to lose it after the 130 minute mark. I think that’s why so much of the audience is/was so neutral after coming out of the show. Finally, the show ran a bit too long; if they’d cut out some of the musical numbers, this play could’ve been shorter but also much more enjoyable in my opinion. I appreciated the ending change (from the anime to the stage) though - the rest of the stage is a carbon copy of the anime. Although it kind of ends suddenly without any real... climax song.... which also leads to the audience being very ‘ah okay... *walks home*’. The best part of the stage was, in all honesty, the curtain call. Seeing the cast interact with one another and having this massive laugh and fun together as themselves in front of the audience was so much fun xD Rating: 6/10

Now to the nittygritty.

SPOILER REVIEW

To reiterate the non-spoiler section: The first part of this play is just not good. I got very bored straight away because it was just song after song after song and it really bogged me down and I was just like 'hurry up and get to the story already!'. I know it's stupid to complain because this IS a musical but.... there really are TOO many songs in this - 40!... so many songs would've been better as just scenes of dialogue. I really don’t like when a song is put in just for performances sake rather than to help the plot along and I feel this happened a lot. For example, you don’t need to sing to me how many fucking points the princes got on their test; just fucking tell me! What a waste of time. So they really irked me. Also there was one female singer who was just a note too high for my liking in almost every song and it really made me cringe. If you wanna sing that high, go do fucking opera! It really took you out of the story with quite a few of the songs in my opinion. It also felt like it was trying to be ‘west end’ with all the ensemble dancing and the singing and such. It was too much for me. There’s a reason why I hate and avoid west end musicals, and Haine unfortunately was somewhat reminiscent of those musicals so I did not enjoy it. The overall balance in the group singing though was really nice and I fell like almost everyone balanced and bounced off each other well in the singing parts. I get it's a musical so there should be lots of songs, but it just feel the balance between music numbers and scenes with dialogue and actual acting, especially in the beginning, was way off.

This musical is REALLY long too! I think we got about 60% through and people were really starting to shuffle or going to the bathroom without really caring. And at about 80% through, I started to feel 'if we go to the council scene right now I'm gunna fucking scream! I am ready for this to be done', but luckily they changed the ending which made it so much more bearable and worked much better for stage rather than it would've in the anime but I'll get to that later.

It wasn't until we got to Kai's arc that it started to be less about the songs and actually whole scenes of dialogue and acting that I started to enjoy it. Unfortunately this means that I pretty much blocked out Leonhart’s arc because that too was just song after song in my opinion. They even cut out the scene of Haine reading his diary! I love that scene! And we didn’t have any ridiculous Haine chasing Leonhart on a horse while standing ON the horse! I was hoping for some Touken Ranbu Stage horse ridiculousness for that one scene but they cut it out completely =[ Apparently the ensemble in this one are too professional to do something that silly - seriously, I hated the ensemble (most likely the directors fault though), but I just hated them. I feel like all their constant singing and dancing didn’t add anything to the stage either. Just be normal ensemble and do your roles! BUT I will say, their costumes were very, very creative and I liked them xD

As expected, Kai's arc was adorable! Especially as soon as he grabbed UeChan's hand and was like 'funi funi.... your hand... is funi funi...... suki / I like you' and Haine freaked like 'it's still a little too early for that?!-- oh, you mean my hand because it’s soft,' which was so funny! Especially because during that moment Haine was brought to his knees from Kai really locking in on his hand and playing with it >_< Asato was just perfection as Kai; he was absolutely perfect. Seeing him completely switch back to himself at the curtain call was just a great transformation to witness. His acting was so good as Kai! He had some golden moments during Rihito’s arc too.

Rihito's arc was probably the best part in terms of acting and performance. Also it had a hilarious adlib in it! Kai comes in from a side door and into the crowd and is like 'I have to be able to give greetings just like Sensei said... *faces camera, but there’s no spotlight so it’s just this black silhouette of him facing the camera, so we all cracked up laughing* are you my father?! I'll do my best!' And then he tries to talk to a girl but fails so he's like 'I wonder what Haine would do in my situation', and UeChan is just in his seat trying not to crack up. So Kai repeats himself 'I WONDER WHAT HAINE WOULD DO IN MY SITUATION,' so UeChan gave in because the crowd clapped for him to join in. He 'jumped' through the 4th wall and approached a girl 'good evening... your kimono is beautiful.... who do you like in Haine? Oh me? Thank you! ... excluding me who do you like? .... she said only me'. Then he went back on stage and 'jumped' back into the Haine world. So Kai tries 'good evening! Who do you like in Haine? ...... LEOHARTO..... WHO’S NEXT? Me? Oh thank you!' And the adlib scene ends. When Rihito came back into that scene, he's like 'Haine you disappeared for a moment' xD

I really, really loved Rihito's arc. I think Aoi did absolutely amazing in his acting and performance. Especially the music number towards the end of his story where he's crying and he's like 'father doesn't care! He never did!' then his father accepts him and he's crying and breaking down like 'you really do care! And I didn't notice because I was just a stupid kid'. I legit couldn't stop my tears! The performance was amazing and I was so impressed with this part of the stage. Also there's a part where Rihito smacks the cafe owner in the face with the metal serving plate and I burst out into laughter. I thought it was hilarious!

OH! The girl next to me was SO funny! Everytime there was a close up of Aoi or DaiChan, she would smack her hand over her nose and mouth because she’d just cry xD she was adorable and kept me entertained during the less interesting parts of the play.

Then we got to Bruno’s arc. I feel like this one was probably the shortest and most simple to get through. I don’t really remember anything note worthy or different to the anime for this arc. Bruno’s actor is probably the weakest singer. You could tell he was trying but he didn’t have much of a range; it definitely seemed like his voice was going to crack at some points due to being strained. The actor himself is cute though, and I feel like I preferred stage Bruno over anime Bruno.

OH! There was one point! When he decides to call Haine ‘Shisou’ and he starts flailing and shaking his arms around, then Leonhart comes in and joins in on the flailing; that part was funny.

Which reminds me; a lot of the comedy and jokes that should’ve hit and made the audience laugh just didn’t; either the timing was off or they just didn’t express it as a comical moment but it totally should’ve been. Like THIS scene where he decides to call Haine ‘Shisou’ -- it’s hilarious in the anime -- but in the stage he’s just like ‘Ah! I will call you Shisou’ and Haine just walks away ‘I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.’ It SHOULD’VE a funny scene! We should’ve had a funny moment of Haine reacting to being called Shisou like ‘ararara?! Shisou?! *cough* I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.’ but nothing! I think A LOT of my problems for this stage musical from the LACK of comedy in it. There were some hilarious parts don’t get me wrong! Such as the adlib with Kai -- but it’s an adlib, not a planned comedy scene --- and we had some cute Haine moments.

Planned Comedy moments we had:

1. Haine being lifted up when he was captured 2. Maximilian giving Haine brides lift so he can’t enter the kingdom at the beginning. 3. Haine  rolling around the floor at and onto Rihito’s feet going ‘goro goro goro’ 4. Haine pulling pufferfish faces and pouting when a Prince is being childish. 5. Rihito smacking the cafe owner in the face with a silver serving plate. 6. Victor joining the cafe and having his butt smacked by the owner after doing a good job. 7. Haine jumping to his knees when he gets called a child. 8. Girls pretending to fall off their chair in the cafe so Rihito can help them up but he ignores them. 9. Haine curled up on the sofa and rocking side to side as he waits for his moment to talk.

But a LOT of this is just ‘story story, oh this prince has troubles, oh now they’re fixed, music number three billion times, story arc done, begin next arc’ without any comedy in it at all! This is HAINE!! The anime was hilarious (AND ADORABLE!)! The manga looks very funny too! But this musical just didn’t have it. Touken Ranbu is MORE funny than this stage! WTF?! That doesn’t add up does it?!

Now that I’ve gone down the road of negatives, I may as well carry on:

I did not like the 'Young Haine' and 'Young Victor' roles. It worked when the two actresses were just acting the scene out while the spotlights were mainly on Victor and Haine. BUT the LV cameraman kept the close ups on the two actresses, and I was like 'you're ruining the magic here!!! Keep the camera on Uechan or Nobuo OR stick to the wide shot you had going on with all 4 of them in shot because that looked FINE!' I did not like the close ups of the Young roles because they weren't even lip-syncing to what UeChan and Nobuo were saying so it just looked stupid in the cinema. Swear to god, these close ups are on the DVD and I'm gunna flip my shit. It just did not work. Continuing my ensemble hate; I HATED the fact that they used the SAME guy to play all the 'Young (insert the prince's name here)' every time,and they didn't even bother to put a wig on him to make him look more like the prince he was supposed to be at the time. Ugh..... that really got on my shit.

Final bad point: I feel like this stage ends really weird... I feel like the climax song was about 3 songs before the actual final song and it’s like ‘Haine please come back!’ and he goes ‘hello I’m your new teacher’ and it just ends, and they suddenly start bowing and I just think it’s really weird and abrupt how the stage ends. Why didn’t they end with like the boys running over to him ‘hey Haine I’m so glad you’re bad! Lets go do this! Let’s try this! Lets--’ and Haine going ‘wait! It’s time for class to start!’ and them all raising their hands and going ‘okay!!’ and then either happy clappy music starts blasting out, or lights cutting out to black before the clapping and bowing starts. That would’ve been a better ending.

BACK to the positives!

UeChan really is the cutest thing to walk this Earth xD whenever he did the little pouty faces or whenever he did something to make himself smaller was just so adorable! I was super surprised to hear that he can actually sing and that he sings so softly compared to his normal, very powerful voice! It's so adorable!! He also made me cry; it was during the Victor and Haine flashback scene and when it got to the Haine going on a fighting rampage, the Young role jumped out of the way and it was UeChan that did all the action and the fighting when he attacked the royal guards and my heart just hurt so much for Haine at that point <3 UeChan’s action choreography and movements were great! I was surprised how high he could kick his leg and everything! I also loved that they did the iconic gun scene when he and Kai are captured and the ‘bang’ sign comes out of the gun rather than a bullet xD UeChan’s action in that scene is good too!

To say it was Tatsuma’s first play, I thought he did great! His Maximilian was adorable! But, I think he needs to eat more; those pants and large jackets weren’t hide the tiny body he obviously has.

Just to reiterate the Non-spoiler section again: Kimisawa really surprised me with his singing; his singing is absolutely amazing. I was so impressed! I also thought he did a great job as Rosenberg and was happy with his performance. I think he made Rosenberg more mischievous. I really liked the scene where he throws the papers on the streets of the town so everyone can hear about Kai’s past. It was a nice moment. But like I said his songs started to sound the same and repetitive after a while. But his voice is gold and was amazing to listen to. AND I really enjoyed Nobuo Kyo’s performance and thought he fit Victor pretty well. Especially the cafe scene where he tries to act cute and does all these cute poses and then gets his butt slapped by the cafe owner and he feels and looks so violated xD I thought he and UeChan bounced off each other very well.

I'm glad they changed the ending. It was getting towards the end, I was getting agitated and thought 'if they go into the council scene, it's gunna be another 20 or 30 minutes, and I am so ready to be done!' But they changed it in that Rosenberg and Haine go back to Haine's old teaching church and Rosenberg tempts him to do something (I didn't catch what) but just before he accepts, the boys turn up and tell him 'you taught us that everyone has a few scars... you taught us we should do what we want' etc and in the end he decides to stay as their teacher. In the anime, the whole council scene works but for Stage I think the council scene would've been too much and I'm glad they changed it to make it all this more simpler and more 'just about Haine and his boys' rather than in the anime where 'the kingdom gets to decide and the boys have to prove their mature enough' etc. I am thankful for this change!

AFTERSHOW

The curtain call was adorable. Everyone did their greetings and UeChan asked them all to hurry up but didn't explain until later that it's because they might get cut off in the LV of they go to long xD Bruno's actor was adorable! He was like 'playing Bruno and a Professor it was so--- wait what did I just say?' And then everyone had a go at him and he was like 'I'm okay' in like the cutest way ever and I absolutely died of laughter. During DaiChan's turn he said nothing mean about Aoi and Aoi ran for him but Bruno held him back while DaiChan just laughed his ass off and UeChan like 'behave!!' XD Nobuo was adorable too; ‘I'm not a father in real life buy I think I now know how fathers feel... look at my sons! I’m so proud of them!’. UeChan's parents were there tonight and he was like 'don't search for them! 探さないで！' to the audience >.<

EDIT: also during the second curtain call Ueda was like ‘thank you all for standing up, but we’re all going to say something so *switches to English* sit down please’ and it was such good pronunciation <3

*

I’m kinda regretting the fact that I preordered the BluRay (especially because you had to pay 1000yen at the venue just to preorder it) because of how much I ended up not enjoying the musical BUT hopefully on the BluRay they’ll be good backstage stuff which’ll make it worth it, plus it comes with a possible DVD release event ticket so if I hit for that then it’ll make the purchase worth it. If not, I’ll just sell it off to someone. Any takers? xD

*

GOODS

I’m defo buying his randoms from this stage in the near future; last week they were super cheap at KBooks.

*

And that’s all! Sorry it wasn’t all happy and smiles like you were probably expecting.. but to be honest; I LOVE complaining, when do I never not complain about a stage?

[holydragon2808]

Thoughts on The Legend of Korra: Turf Wars (Part One)

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything original on my blog about The Legend of Korra (or just anything original period). I’ve reblogged several Avatar related posts and art (as well as things from other fandoms), but I haven’t posted hardly anything myself since the Book 4 finale! I’ll just take a moment to wave hello to anyone still following this blog and my fellow Avatar buddies (Waves enthusiastically!). S’up Peeps! OH and if you’ve yet to read the Comic, don’t read any further than this because SPOILERS! I’m pretty sure most in the fandom have read them but just in case.

 I’m a bit late to the party I know, but I wanted to get my thoughts together before I posted anything. I have to say that I was really happy with this comic book overall. They’re off to a fantastic and engaging start with this story. With the ATLA comics I felt like those were just side stories or expansions. Interesting side stories/expansions granted, but really not just vital to anything (just IMO). ATLA concluded pretty soundly overall in its own right. With Turf Wars taking place immediately after the last scene with Korra and Asami walking into the spirit portal (and TLoK having far more loose plot ends to tie up than ATLA in general), this actually didn’t feel like just a comic book. It felt like it could have been a real animated episode. They seriously could have added “Book Five” to the title and gotten away with it.

Korra and Asami’s little getaway was exactly like I was hoping for with the two of them having a good time after everything they’ve both been through. From their friendly competitions and playful ribbing at each other, to their first shared kiss (Korrasami shippers squeal lol) to the two of them confiding in each other on exactly when and how they both realized they loved the other, and so on. That Spirit Mountain or whatever he was acted kind of bitchy though. It’s okay though Korra. In your own words about the Dragon Bird spirit “ I think it can sense where I am. Not EVERY spirit hates me” lol.

 Anyway, thanks to the grumpy mountain, Korra and Asami are forced to cut their vacation short and return to Republic City because they lost their supplies in all the chaos. Before that though, Korra wants to take a trip to the South Pole via the Southern Spirit Portal to visit her parents and tell them about their official romantic relationship and their “sounds fun” lol vacation. Asami has a few reservations about all of that but Korra is just too excited to really pay attention at the moment. So Korra and Asami “come out” to Tonraq and Senna. They’re surprised at the unexpected news (from their perspective) at first, but then were all “Yay! That’s cool! I’m so happy for you both! We couldn’t be more proud!” etc., which is pretty much how the fandom expected them to take it so no real surprise there.

 I do like that after the argument that took place between Korra and her parents, once Asami pointed out a different perspective on the matter (and provided a better understanding for Korra on what exactly Tonraq and Senna were really trying to get at), Korra was immediately able to step back, admit she was wrong to not take Asami’s feelings into consideration (and admit that Tonraq was right about her overly excitable nature leading to rash outbursts at times) and apologize, a FAR CRY from her Book 1 and Book 2 (pre Avatar Wan) days when she had difficulty accepting criticism/other perspectives until she was neck deep in trouble.

 I’m hoping we see more of both the positives and negatives of Korra’s overly excitable, openly passionate nature paired with Asami’s more reserved, patient and logical one in the future (as well as Tonraq and Senna making more appearances and Korra getting the chance to reconcile with them) and how they will work through it overall. Notably, Korra doesn’t just rush off to tell anyone else either without making sure she and Asami both are on the same page about it. They sort of well….”out” themselves to their friends near the end but more on that later lol.

Anyway, the minute our favorite couple steps out of the new spirit portal in the middle of Republic City, the world wastes no time reminding both of them (as well as the audience) of their responsibilities as well as the devastation Kuvira’s attack on Republic City had on the populace. Then this greedy guy named Wonyong Kuem is trying to seize his property back from the spirits. He may be technically right LEGALLY but at this point, he’s hardly the only one who’s life has been uprooted by the unexpected new spirit portal and he’s hardly the only one who’s lost property because of it so he just comes across as a greedy sleazebag (which was basically intentional so yeah lol).

Not to mention that while I do agree that the Spirit World in general should be more welcoming of humans (Heck, before Kuvira’s attack the citizens of Republic City, with Future Industries leadership, completely redesigned the city’s infrastructure just to accommodate the spirits better and welcome them. None of them have done the same for their own world nor did they bother to help with the Kuvira crisis either), a tourist attraction with people like Kuem is not the best way to go about it…Good on Avatar Korra for showing this guy who’s boss, though as she and the Airbenders suspect, he’ll probably be back.  His type always comes back….

It also was somewhat satisfying that the spirits are getting some well-deserved karma thrown back at them. They hate the spirit portal and try to urge Korra to close it but she’s quick to point out that had they helped out with Kuvira to begin with, the spirit portal may not exist right now. They realize that they can’t make her close the portal so in Korra’s own words, they’re just going to have to “deal with it”. Korra seems to believe from the bottom of her heart that Spirits and Humans can one day live together in harmony and she’s willing to stand her ground. I’m hoping the Spirits in general will one day stop looking down on humans on principle and put more effort into making both worlds a place where they can all belong or at the very least be civil. Turf wars (in the plural) indeed….

Meanwhile, even more trouble is brewing on the horizon with the Triple Threat Triads, The Creeping Crystals, the Agni Kais, and every other Republic City gang is on the rise with the Triple Threats gaining ground as we’re introduced to the main antagonist for this trilogy: Tokuga. Let me just say that this guy can seriously throw down (Hooked swords make a reappearance in addition to chi blocking) and is an awesome (but somewhat frightening) reminder that a person does not have to be a bender in this world to be a ruthless and cutthroat badass. I’m glad that the antagonist in question isn’t another bender. Nothing against them (we’ve had some good ones from both series) but it’s just great to finally break the mold here in a way that works. The Triple Threats finally getting a serious chance to shine and show just how badass they can be is a welcome plus as well. Two-Toed Ping is worried about his life being in serious jeopardy just for name-dropping Tokuga during Mako and Lin’s interrogation.

Speaking of the police force, I’m happy that Bolin joined along with his brother. It gives the police force some serious raw power at their disposal with Bolin being a Lavabender and it gives him a chance to truly shine without all the drama of his previous job with Kuvira (and shows he’s earned back his good will with his friends and family). Nice to see the bending brothers back together again. Loved both of the brothers’ interactions with Two-Toed Ping as they were taking him back to the station. Ping is genuinely proud of both of them for making something of themselves. Bolin being Bolin thanks him in stride while Mako just tells him to shut it lol. Good to know some things never change.

Back at the refugee camp we get yet more evidence of the sheer devastation Kuvira’s weapon (and Team Avatar’s attempts to stop it) having irreparable damage on the city and leaving hundreds of people homeless. About the only humorous thing taken from all of this is that President Raiko’s approval rating is -3. That’s too funny! I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m SO voting for either Poki or Zhu Li (or both they should team up!) for the next president lol. Just think of what they could do for the city! Gotta love Raiko’s new campaign slogan “Vote Raiko! He’ll wallop tyranny with a knockout blow! (I’m like Korra….wut? lol). But credit where it’s due. At least even he admits to his campaign manager that the slogan is ridiculous lol. He’s still pretty incompetent though. When you’re required an explanation on how  rebuilding homes for the populace would restore your own good will to the common folk after they’ve been rendered homeless…yeah…he’s more concerned with keeping his job rather than actually doing it….I’m seriously hoping for Poki. Zhu Li for a more practical candidate but Poki’s good too. Meelo can be the advisor. Republic City would either have absolutely NOTHING to worry about with this trio in charge, or EVERYTHING to worry about with this trio in charge. There would be NO middle ground whatsoever lol.

It’s also nice to see that despite their newfound hardships, the refugees aren’t blaming Korra for everything this time like during the beginning of book 3. They’re grateful to be alive and know it’s all thanks to Korra and her friends and they’re happy to see her again. She offers to help the displaced refugees in any way that she can and quickly begins to find herself overwhelmed. Just when it seems like she’ll be forced to leave (and they begin to riot or something), she doesn’t want to leave as Tenzin suggests. I’m going to post what she tells the refugees because there’s no way I can say it better and it deserves recognition in its own right:

Everyone! Please Listen! I feel for all of you. You’ve all been through so much and I’m sure you’re all tired, frustrated, and angry that you’re homes and neighborhoods have been destroyed. This is a time for great change for all of us in Republic City! But a wise man once told me that change could be good or bad depending on your point of view. So maybe we could all look at this as a chance for a new beginning.

I promise to work my hardest to make sure everyone has a place to live soon. My hope is that the rebuilt Republic City will be full of new possibilities for all of us. Together, we can forge a bright future, living in balance with our planet, evolving into our best selves, and becoming who we truly want to be!

Cue the audience cheering for her and the future.

This girl….no. This young woman…I just can’t right now. As I said before, she truly believes in this vision of unity and balance between humans and spirits with all her heart and soul and she is willing to work and fight for it. We saw shades of this Avatar Korra in the book 2 finale when she gave the speech about the Southern Water Tribe being independent and forging a new path for the future. But to see her now after the hell she was subjected to in the book 3 finale and 3/4s of book four…Avatar Korra has come a long way indeed both with her own struggles and being able to truly inspire people. And we get to see that here with her words spoken with an eloquence we haven’t heard in over two seasons. Just beautiful and Tenzin’s expression as if he’s holding back tears just seals the deal. Couldn’t be more proud of her.

Anyway, after the refugee camp visit, Korra and Asami are back on Air Temple Island standing in a very familiar gazebo admiring the sunset. Kya’s “officially” out as a lesbian in the actual universe (rather than just Word of God) but of course we already knew that. It’s also nice to note that a few characters in the canon suspected Korra and Asami had feeling for each other either before the vacation or shortly after. Good to know that they’ll have an older confidante. Kya also gives us more insight on how homosexuality is viewed by the Avatarverse at large with the official canon more or less matching up with a lot of fandom speculations before the reveal. The Air nomads didn’t/don’t give a shit (which well, duh element of freedom and all), the Fire Nation didn’t care all that much either until Sozin came along and outlawed same sex pairings. Guess we can add that to his jerkbender list….The Water Tribes don’t disown people for it but are private about family matters in general. Interestingly enough, it’s the Earth Kingdom that’s the most openly against it though maybe things are a bit different now than in Avatar Kyoshi’s time who was revealed to be bisexual and couldn’t really change things on that front. I think Kya said it best regarding Korrasami, it’s ultimately their story and they’ll know when the time will come to spread the news.

Speaking of spreading the news, Mako and Bolin come by to visit them. The core Team Avatar is back together! Korra and Bolin hug a bit while Mako and Asami hug (the Borra shipper in me squealed a bit lol. Those two always had an easy friendship. More Borra friendship moments please lol). However, this time Korra asks Asami if she’s ready to tell the boys (to not have another situation like what went down with Korra’s parents and not taking Asami’s feelings into consideration), showing that Korra does indeed learn from her mistakes. Just when they’re getting ready to tell them Jinora interrupts via astral projection because the Triple Threat Triads are threatening the new spirit portal (Dammit Jinora! Dammit Triple Threats I wanted to see the boys’ reaction (particularly Mako’s) was my initial reaction).

But I instantly forgave it with seeing Team Avatar’s first confrontation with Tokuga (as well as seeing how Korra and Asami out themselves to their friends anyway but again, more on that later lol). Ghazan’s signature Lava Shuriken makes an appearance! Well done Bolin! It was awesome to see this move return, but even more awesome and heartwarming was that this truly being the moment where Mako accepts Bolin as an equal partner rather than just his kid brother he feels he has to watch out for.

Things really get crazy when the spirits show up and start attacking people because apparently Korra and her friends weren’t doing a well enough job protecting the portal. Korra tries her best to reason with the stubborn (serpent, snake?) spirit but before she can gain any ground with that, Asami is overwhelmed by a group of benders and Korra immediately rushes to her rescue. Though, by choosing to aid Asami, the wrathful snake spirit goes after Tokuga and gives the audience a rather frightening call back to the Avatar Wan episodes.  Spirits can enter a human body and reshape their anatomy to where they take on physical attributes of the spirit in question. We saw that twice in the Avatar Wan episodes (with Yao and that unlucky hunter). This spirit really screws over Tokuga but it’s not like he didn’t have it coming. Though needless to say, Korra (understandably) choosing to aid Asami and not being able to stop that spirit from turning Tokuga into a mutated freak is probably going to come back to bite her in the ass. The Triple Threats end up retreating afterwards and Korra checks on Asami and they share yet another kiss but this time in front of their friends. They all reacted pretty much how I expected. Bolin being happy about getting his “gossip” fill (and calling for double dates already lol), Opal and Jinora being supportive and Mako being a bit awkwardly out of sorts with it but not against it. Don’t worry Mako. You’ll find your special someone someday. (I’m hoping we get more comics after Turf Wars. Would like to see him paired with the Fire Lord’s daughter as originally intended as well as seeing the Fire Nation and the fractured Earth Kingdom).

Anyway, apparently the Triple Threats and Keum (again his type always come back) were working together. The latter was trying to reclaim his land by getting the Triple Threats to intimidate the Airbenders to leave. Tokuga is rightfully pissed about what happened to him and takes over Keum Enterprises as retribution. Mutated or no, this guy is not one to be tried. Looking forward to seeing where all the plot threads will meet.

Overall, I’d say Mike and the rest of the team here are off to a great start with this comic. Korrasami is prevalent, but without pulling focus from the main threat/plot (THANK YOU). They clearly learned from the Book 1 and 2 days. Everything seems to be tying together and paced rather evenly and everyone is in character. Korra is depicted as the inspirational Avatar she was born to be if still a bit impulsive at times, Asami is the calming, rational presence in their relationship and out, Bolin is still the loveable goofball (but badass Lavabender), and Mako is still the socially awkward but competent cop (even with a bunk arm right now) and so on. The artwork is incredible to me. Irene Koh outdid herself IMO. The vibrant colors, the characters, (the spirit world pages were some of my favorites), it really does feel like a legitimate continuation on exactly where the show left off. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m looking forward to part two.

[sorceressmidnight]

Midnight Sorceress

Chapter: 7/? [1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - ?]

Chapter 7: Good Guy Tony

Words: 1443

Warnings: Some cursing, bruises, hospitalization, broken bones

Primarily following the events of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it revolves around an original character.

Description as posted on ao3:  A member of SHIELD is forced to struggle with her mental stability and keeping her secret as the craziness surrounding the Avengers crashes around her. She ends up befriending Tony and Pepper, who help out her mental health a great deal, but will they be able to help her with her secret? Something that could destroy her if she uses it too much… What will happen when Tony tries to convince her to use it to help the Avengers?

Read on ao3: here

Tags: @txnystarkimagines @h0bsyrup

Hit me up if you want to be tagged in future chapters.

This chapter happens during Age of Ultron and somewhat after.

Tony plopped down on the bed, kicking his shoes off and letting them plop to the floor. It was the room that Clint and Laura was letting him stay in until they left to finish the fight that had been started. He heard the door open and turned his head to see Kiana walking into the room with him, closing the door behind herself. She pulled her shoes off, grabbing the ones he let fall to the floor and setting both pairs next to the door. He sat up and looked at her as she sat down at the edge of the bed. “Hey,” she smiled softly. “Hey…” he offered a half smile, “Ugh… I seriously can’t believe this.” He groaned as he plopped back against the bed, covering his face with his arm. “We’re stuck here… while he’s out there… he’s out there doing who knows what!” She crawled up further on the bed, leaning on her elbows while lying next to him. “We all need to allow ourselves a second to breathe. If we rush out there right now, who knows what’ll happen.” “We don’t have a second to breathe! This is worse than New York! He can access anything on the internet! It’s not just a bunch of enemies shooting at us and breaking buildings! I... “ He buried his face into his hands, slightly pulling at the ends of his hair. She gently grabbed his hands and pulled them off of his face, staring down at him and giving a soft smile. “We’ll figure this out together. We’re like a family. We have each other’s back.” He looked up at her as she spoke, eyes widening as he looked over her neck, a large bruise there around where Ultron had grabbed her by the throat. He reached his hand to gently touch the bruise, eyes watering as his lips parted, struggling to find the words he wanted to say. He pulled her against his chest, holding her tightly and resting his head against the top of hers. “This is my fault… I… I got you hurt… This… This would have never happened if I didn’t insist on bringing you out to fight… Pepper was right. I should have let you go with her when she left…” “Tony…” “I’m so stupid… I have to stop him…” he was brought out of his daze by the sharp feeling of nails pinching his cheeks, a stern look from the female he was holding. “Tony. You didn’t know what was going to happen. I’m sure that girl used her powers to make you see something she wanted you to. She fed on your paranoia. People make mistakes Tony… the best thing we can do is work to fix them as best as we can and I’ll be with you the entire time. ‘Kay?” She smiled brightly at him, gentle blue eyes filled with hope meeting harsh brown eyes holding a mixture of anger, self hatred, and sorrow. He gently cupped his hand over her cheek, pulling her face down before pressing his lips against hers. Her eyes widened, a red flushing over her cheeks before swiftly pulling back and staring down at him with widened eyes. “T-Tony… I know you’re upset… but what about Pep?” He sighed, covering his face with his hands. “I know… I’m sorry. I… dunno. I’m just so confused. I’ve never felt like this before…” He groaned. “Well… why don’t you talk about it? What are you confused about?” Her expression changed as she talked, slightly worried about him. “I… It’s just… I think... I like both you and Pepper? I don’t know… You’ve both been there for me in different ways… I’ve never been more comfortable than when you both have been living with me… Yet I’m still extremely worried… I’m terrified of anything happening to either of you.” She couldn’t help but laugh, resting head against his chest as she tried to stop herself. His brows furrowed, pouting slightly and poking her cheek. “I’m having a moment, what the heck is so funny?” his tone was offended, but his expression showed he was joking. “You don’t remember, do you?” she laughed, looking up at him. “Just continue or let me finish being emotional for the first time in my life,” he jokingly mocked, knowing she knew that was definitely not true. “You were joking a while ago, when you were flirting with me,” she rolled her eyes with a giggle, “you made a comment about convincing Pepper to be poly. I dunno how she’ll even feel about the idea, but we can talk it over when things calm down a little. She’s a lot more understanding than a lot of people I know. I mean being polyamorous isn’t even that unusual. There are a lot of people who are in poly relationships. We’ll work on that later, though. Right now we have to focus on saving the world, mmkay?” He gave a soft smile in response, kissing her cheek and nodding before letting his head fall back on the pillow.

Tony ran into the hospital room, barely having time to breathe after landing. He frantically looked through the numbered rooms, almost missing it before sliding around and making his way into the room. “Oh, hey Tony…” Kiana weakly murmured from the hospital bed, bandages around her head, covering her eye. There were bandages on her arms as well, while the rest of her was covered with the sheet. “What did the doctor say?” he asked so fast, he forgot to breathe until he managed to get it out, taking a deep breath afterwards. “I should’ve stopped you from coming… I… I should’ve taken better precautionary actions to make sure it didn’t happen…” he murmured to himself. “Hey… It’s not that bad. I just need to take it easy for a while and let my body heal up. He said I should avoid using my powers for up to a month and up to a year or two before I can use my powers at their full potential again. It just means I’ll have to get used to cooking with my own two hands again,” she laughed softly. “Don’t worry, I’ll hire you a personal chef. I want you doing as little as possible until you’re completely better.” He leaned down, hugging her as he rested his head on her shoulder. “What other problems did the doctor say?” “A couple of broken ribs, some other broken bones…” she winced softly, rubbing her head. “C-can you call the nurse? S-sorry… I’ve been having trouble thinking due to the pain... “ “Yeah, of course. Anything you need, just let me know.” He walked out the door to find a nurse.

Tony visited Kiana every single day she was still in the hospital, making arrangements at the tower to make it easier for her to get around while still healing up. It was between five to six months before she returned to the tower. The two were sitting on the couch, her surrounded with lots of pillows, as he brought up some clips off of the internet. “This kid has been acting like a vigilante. His whole scheme is like spider boy or something.” “Super human abilities or just?” “It seems like it, just watch,” he responded, starting the video as it showed someone dressed up in red and blue running around and stopping minor criminals. They watched some more videos, most of them being news clips, but some being random recording from people on the street watching the incident happen in front of them. “Lemme guess,” she pursed her lips as the last video was stopped, “you want to recruit him for the Avengers?” “No. I mean he seems like he would be a useful ally, but I don’t think I’d want to drag him into this. I already know who he is, so I can go visit him when I need to, but I want to try to avoid that for now.” “Oh yeah? Is he a teen?” “Good guess. I don’t want to drag him down into this lifestyle if I can avoid it… but… if need be I will go recruit him.” “Good guy Tony trying to let Spider boy live his life as normally as he can.” “Shut up,” he laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her head against his own shoulder. “Anyway, I got some of your favorite movies and food is on the way.” “Good. Pizza?” “Yeah and some other stuff. Might be a few ding dongs.” “Ding dong,” she giggled and pressed his nose, looking at the television as a movie started.