#kinda fucked up telling people to go to poland

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

I'm not white

You are not white. No really no one is "white". And I'm sick of this bullshit of people saying, "White" this and "Black" that and "Brown" this. Just stop. Judging people by skin pigment is something that we should not be doing at any point. And yet, the people that are "the most against racism" as it were, are insistent we continue to use these terms and so much so that if you are pale AT ALL you "should be considered white". Meanwhile you actually make it easier for people to be racist when you do this.

And you make the spreading of hate that much easier. "Boo hoo wyte pepo so bad they evil with no soul and something something melanin gives empathy". Shut the ever loving fuck up.

Frankly, it pisses me off more than anything to hear that kind of bullshit. AND YES that is a real thing people have said. We need to get away from labeling people as white, black, brown, etc, etc. Why? Easy, because if we are being honest here, it's kinda ignorant. I'm of French/Irish descent and I was born and raised in the US. Simple. And the same way I can say that. A "Black" man could be of Jamaican descent and also be born and raised in the US. Hell, he could be from Haiti and be a 3rd generation US citizen who's parents did REALLY well for themselves. You don't know. And that's the point.

You CAN'T know. It's just, "Oh this person LOOKS pale. We will just label him white, say he's never suffered oppression or discrimination at ALL and say that he is privileged." It's disgusting.

I've seen someone say that to a friend of mine, who's family barely survived the Holodomor, that he was just a "privileged little white boy". Excuse the fuck out of me but WHAT?! Kindly LTG.

Fact is in the US funny enough, those of Asian descent do better than almost ANY demographic in the US at all. People from India, Japan, China, South Korean, Taiwan, Philippines, etc, etc. Not "White". Which funny enough. Calling someone "White" and then saying, "White people have no culture" is some of the most racist and xenophobic shit I hear in my life. Why? Well let's look shall we. Where are can you find "White" people?

Russia

Brazil

Ukraine

South Africa

Spain

Mexico

Puerto Rico

Chile

Poland

England

Czech Republic

Switzerland

Canada

France

Germany

Ireland

Scotland

Finland

United States

And the list goes on. So you are going to tell me that NONE of the people from these countries have a culture. That they are just one with the "White Conglomerate" as it were? If you think as such then YOU are the racist. And also Xenophobic as well. We need to find a way to stop this "skin tone classification" bullshit. Especially since we seem to be EXPORTING IT to every other country in the world. Which, newsflash, is making things in the world THAT MUCH WORSE. And what's better? It's "well to do liberals" doing it. Congrats. You are making the world a worse place because you can't stop being racist little shits.

Am I blaming all liberals? No. Many? Absolutely.

We need to put a stop to this. And it needed to stop AGES ago.

[eccentrickleptomaniac]

im gonna ask you to share your poland headcanons :]

WAHAHAHA ANNOOOOOOON THANK YOUUUU IVE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT HER FOREVER

ohwhere do i start... i suppose i'll talk about her personality first?

ok so let me set the record straight. she is a bitch. she's incredibly stubborn and once her mind is on something it's incredibly difficult to get her to change it, even if she knows its wrong. she enables the worst in people and rewards them for it. you know that one scene in angels in america where roy and belize are arguing about azt and roy starts hurling slurs at belieze and once belize does the same roy gives him the azt? yeah poland would do that. she will start fighting with anyone to bring them to their breaking point. it's a skill she learned while still in the same house with the bastard known as the ussr.

speaking of, she hates russia more than anyone. genuinely. it's actually kind of scary how far it goes. she pretty much allout refuses to speak with his friends and if she seems him, hoo boy you better be ready to hold her down. the hatred, i suppose its justified considering the.. how do i put this Hostile and imperial history between the two. i genuinely believe the last time the two ever had a positive interaction was during smolensk and even that was only because at first russia was the only one around to comfort her.

ok lets talk about her with closer friends.. while yes she fucking loves to push people's buttons when alone with someone she likes shes actually a very understanding and loyal person. she will actually listen to you rant about something you're passionate about for hours. if you are in trouble she will be the first to help you. however, if you look at her funny please know you've made an enemy for life. she holds long and petty grudges unapologetically.

speaking of pettyness, lets talk about the ussr and her relationship with him. i think about them a lot just because they hate eachother so much. completely genuinely i believe she only stayed in the warsaw pact for two reasons: to somehow destroy the ussr oh and also taking care of eg since shes still a teenager. im like, 99% sure the two got into arguments daily. they genuinely hate eachother more than anyone, and whatever the fuck perestroika didn't help. at best she was tolerant of him, at worst she was actively trying to kill him. she hates him for everything he stands for as well as his treatment of eg. despite her thing for long and petty grudges, she could tell that that girl could do no wrong from the start. the two have a very mother-daughter like relationship

she has both of her wings and they work just fine! although for a long time they didnt lol. i believe during ww2 they got fucked up during the destruction of warsaw (since that was pretty much the moment that armie krawoja lost its footing and poland became a guaranteed soviet puppet state after the war) and it took until her eventual leaving of the warsaw pact for them to be fully functional again. it's a fun little metaphor for freedom, i guess.

the cross she wears on her neck isn't actually because she's super religious. it was originally a small postwar act of spite against the soviet union, but eventually it kinda just became part of her outfit. she still isn't super religious, most countries arent due to their inherent personification of a whole ass landmass. unless it's like, the vatican or something JAJA

she is a hardcore alcoholic. it's, uh, not good, but it has quite literally been going on since pre-interwar. although she has gotten better with not downing like, 3 bottles of vodka in 1 sitting. she mostly just drinks beer at this point, unless she's like, really stressed for whatever reason. hey, old habits die hard. if i were being constantly harassed and assaulted by my neighbors i too would probably have some sort of addiction to a substance at this point. a random poland fun fact, the national drink is vodka.

her signature item (an item of which a country has associated themselves with and can now summon at will) is a hussar sabre as gifted to her by her father (the polish-lithuanian commonwealth). she cherishes it greatly and can use the sword quite well in combat. 10/10 would bring it to a gunfight.

due to her time spent in annexation for like, 100 years, she's pretty good at playing piano. on her spare time she'll play it rather leniently. admittedly, she doesn't have many hobbies. she sort of reads most of the day when not out with people.

wait how have i got this far without talking about her friends. she's good friends with the folk in the lublin triangle (lithuania (whos also her sister lol) and ukraine) and the visegrad group (czechia, slovakia, hungary) as well as all formerly in the eastern bloc. she would die for them and genuinely wishes nothing but the best for them. theyre also one of the few people who can actually tolerate her for long periods of time.

while it doesn't tend to show, she is very wary of france and britain specifically due to ww2. france especially, actually, considering the whole duchy of warsaw situation. for a long time she genuinely believed france was going to help her get her freedom. as you can see, that did not turn out, and nowadays the relationship between the two tends to be strained, only amplified by the russo-ukrainian war. she tends to interject on anything france is saying in an eu meeting with a sarcastic remark, especially if it's about war. she doesn't forget and she doesn't forgive.

uhhh i hope this suffices? i felt like this basically the entire time i was writing this

edit nope nvm im adding more i forgot to talk about interwar poland

ok so. interwar and postwar poland are basically two seperate people at this point. like, not literally, poland didnt fucking die in the war lol but personality and appearancewise they're completely different. as opposed to current poland's rather brash, loud, and belligerent personality, interwar poland was very quiet. he's much closer to that "fanon" poland. while, yeah he still was pretty fierce. it was much harder to get him to that point than it is now. he was pretty pacifistic all things considered.. he also at the time worked at a library doing archival things.. nowadays her job primarily consists of doing paperwork, which she doesn't mind all that much all things considered.

edit 08/08/23: her """"government assigned"""" username is probableLiability.

[wc-confessions]

also another ask cus i got warriors designs on my brain, what’s your fav tigerstar design? if so could u link it?! warrior cats designs make me go insane i love when people make up their own hcs for designs. it makes me quite happy

i really enjoy the russian tigerclaw design from i think tigerclaw's fury! the art in general is p cool imo, reminds me of older traditional furry art, but i enjoy how he looks there. i also like the poland tigerclaw design by anna podedworna. never watched sss warrior cats but i like his design there too!! amelia b's tigerclaw design rocks! and roakkaliha's designs fuck!! their art is really yummy too

it's kinda telling based on the ones i listed lol but overall i really enjoy depictions where he's very large, hairy and scarred! what also gets me is when people give him similar aspects to a tiger particularly with the placements of the markings/stripes. this makes me realize i've never drawn him before i need to make my own design

[council-of-beetroot]

co cię skłoniło do nauki polskiego? czemu sobie to robisz?

I get asked this a lot usually for example when i am putting in a phone number for a customer and just for fun i pronounce their long polish last name and they are like wow you pronounced it correctly and I'm like yeah my family is from Poland and learning Polish and their response is why would you do that to yourself?

When i was younger i wanted to learn more polish and my grandma only knew so much so at one point i signed up at like seven for some polish online learning thing back in the day and took one look at words like piętnaście and turned my sights to mandarin Chinese. (Never got far on teaching myself Chinese at seven but i do remember some really random things that come back to me when i see some Chinese tik tok on Tumblr.

Flashforward a bit to where i did manage to learn a second language - Spanish. The state gave me a piece of paper that says i am literate in Spanish and English but reading my fanfiction it suggests otherwise.

Anyway i get into genealogy after learning that i actually had a family and turns out ancestry is useless if you are anything other than of western Europe heritage (it's gotten better though but still) so i go straight to the source and find archives in Białystok which lead me to some other archives and it's pretty successful (I still don't know much the one side of my family that comes from Toruń idk why the areas of the Russian partition is easier to research than the Prussian partition. Maybe it's also that that side has a ridiculously common last name.

Anyway to actually use the polish archives it's good to know some polish and have a handle on things like the alphabet and pronunciation or you'll just be lost. So i start learning some more of that.

Then i was like fuck it I'll just study more polish and i was kinda absorbing random polish because there are stores i shop at that sell polish items for example and whatnot

Polish is hard! Cases are the main bane of my existence. Anytime i learn a new vocab word it's like i can't even use it until i learn seventeen other versions of the exact same word. As a result i understand more polish than what i can actually speak and write ☹️

But i won't give up and there is a small possibility that my sister and i can go to Poland in a year or two so that motivates me a bit.

Every once in a while my uni offers polish classes but usually there aren't enough people dumb enough to take polish at my small university. I envy my friends at larger universities because they have more classes and public transportation.

For some reason Spanish impacts how i learn polish because when my brain isn't in English mode the default is Spanish which sometimes makes it so i get them mixed up or accidentally use Spanish grammar in a Polish sentence.

Pronunciation isn't as difficult but please tell me how to pronounce Strz correctly

[disgusting-semla]

INTERVIEW WITH DEAD, DONE BY EVIL FROM MARDUK. IT IS FROM SLAYER MAG 101994

HOW COME YOU LEFT MORBID AND MOVED TO NORWAY TO JOIN MAYHEM?

As everyone know…or should now is that Morbid never was a real band. However after the"December Moon" demo the band kinda split up. I don’t know the reason why, but we were all very different and couldn’t compromise on how Morbid should be or sound like. What’s most mysterious to me is how everybody could change so much. When I and John formed the band the band was looking for some members for the band and asked them about the thought of having a Black Metal band as Black Metal should be, but it never turned out that way. They all seemed to be totally into the idea at first, but…well…I must say that I don’t think the 2nd Morbid demo is in the same vein as the first. But why the hell do I talk about Morbid in an interview when the band never should have been featured? I talked to Euronymous on the phone and heexplained how his view of how the most brutal stage show would be and we discussed the problem that everybody wants everything to be so normal, boring and wimpy. And we totallya greed on that, I should come over and try out some rehearsals, to find out how I would fit in the band. And I guess I do fit ‘cos I’ve been singing here ever since. But the problems was that short after I joined the band we were out of rehearsal places…

 YOU HAVE SAID THAT THE “DEATHCRUSH” MLP WILL BE RELEASED AGAIN, WHAT ABOUT IT?

We want to release it again, but we just don‘t know how the hell we can afford it. It was wrong to limit it and now the copies are being sold for far too much money and that wasn’t the idea at all. Those who want it can’t get it unless they are millionaires. We will never release anything limited with Mayhem again.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR NEW LP “DE MYSTERIIS DOM SATHANAS”. WHEN WILL IT BE OUT? ANY OLD MAYHEM SONGS ON IT?

Good question…I wish I knew when! It’s planned to contain 8 tracks and to be released on D.S.P. as anti Mosh 003. When the 2nd edition of the Merciless LP has sold out and paid, the next band will go into studio (Imperator from Poland). When their 1st edition has paid we’ll go into a studio and record our LP. After the tour we have planned, if it doesn’t fuck up, we will have a session of concentrated work on the material that is missing for the LP. I can’t say muchmore about the release.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE A GIG WITH MAYHEM, WITH ALL YOUR EFFECTS?

We haven‘t had a real gig yet, 3 shows in Norway, but only one with parts of our stage show.We had some impaled pig heads, and I cut my arms with a weird knife and a crushed cokebottle. We meant to have a chainsaw, but the guy who owned it, had left when we came to go get it. That wasn’t brutal enough. Most of the people in there were wimps and I don‘t want them to watch our gigs! Before we began to play there was a crowd of about 300 in there, but in thesecond song “Necrolust” we began to throw around those pig heads. Only 50 were left, I liked that! The non-evil wimps shall listen to our music. We had a great time throwing  the heads on each other. I got angry at some idiots who had their heads up in the air, so I wiped the blood onmy arms all over again, We wanna scare those shouldn’t be at our concerts, and they will have to escape through the emergency exit with parts of their body missing, so we can have something to throw around. Some imagine for some weird reason that Death Metal is something normal and available for everyone. Unfortunately they are right… If you have seen pictures of bands like Defection, Benediction or Righteous Pigs etc. you know what I mean. If you go into an ordinary school, you will surly see half of them wearing Morbid Angel, Autopsy and Entombed shirts, and once again I will vomit! Death Black Metal is something all ordinary mortals should fear, not make into a trend! Some years ago it did not exist at all. When Morbid had it’s first gigs almost no one had heard that kind of music before. Metallica or VNA… But hopefully those who jumped on to Death Metal will leave it soon to the real people who have always listened to it. It took some years or so till the trendy HC bands jumped over to Grind. It took shorter time till Grind was out, and I hope it won’t take long before they leave Death Metal to us who do not choose music after fashion. That’s one reason for having a stage show. The wimps will not ever understand it, and I won’t explain it to them either. But they got pissed off at our shows and that is what we want. If someone doesn’t like blood and rotten flesh thrown in their face they can FUCK OFF, and that’s exactly what they do. We are trying to turn the scene back to what it once was, when no Death Metallers were wearing Adidas shit and looked totally normal. The hassle is of course to bring stuff from the slaughterhouse to gigs abroad.

Part 2

[lenalovesjoyblogs]

My experience meeting lovejoy (April 5th 2023)

IT. WAS. FANTASTIC!

NOW, before you think this whole experience was all sunshine and rainbows, well it wasnt.. sorta just let me get explaining

I arrived to warsaw around 2pm, with me and my mum struggling to get to our hotel, we finally got in and got ready for us to eat at this one restruant which had some of the best kompot (which is like a polish drink with fruit and stuff) that i have ever tasted. then i got dressed and we went to the venue

and now, i dont know much about the whole waiting line situation with people having panic attacks and struggles to breathe (even a person broke their ribcage through there), but nontheless, i found my 2 friends i was planning to spend the night screaming our heads off to, and already i was screaming my head off

i saw joe, zoe, leandra, dave and david walk past, i was screaming so loudly to the point leandra waved at me which was a joy for me already, and then ash kabosu, i repeat THE ASH KABOSU, walked past and i did the same, and it worked he waved at me back, it was so fucking amazing but now heres the big part

i saw mark boardman, no joke. So i saw him walk past and my friends kept repeating that its just a random guy just to try and stop me from going crazy fangirl mode and sprinting here (spoiler alert, i did) and i got to give him a present i made for each of the 4 main band members and his reaction just made my day so much better, he was so happy to get it and i was happy to see him happy

heres the photo i took of me and mark together, i blurred my face because i dont wanna reveal my face here just yet, but after this photo was taken, i told him “your the sunshine, king!” i was trying to compliment/hype him up somesort, and his reaction was so cute, he like pouted and putted his hands to his heart, it just made me so happy

we kept waiting in line, until i saw leandra again with some random guy (possibly their manager), which i started screaming leandras name and she saw me and touched my hand, let me tell you.. i was speechless. from leandra noticing me on tiktok a couple of times to her seeing me in person, i was just jawdropped frozen

through the line me and my 2 friends joked around, got lovejoy stickers and signed our names to this one book with all the fan’s names on it

and then we got in, i was lost so i couldnt find my 2 friends but i did at the end, which is great and then.. it was time for the show.

ZWIDY : Okay, i dont listen to them much but they putted on a show, i was screaming so loud and i just had to much fun, everyone was waving their arms at some songs and it was just hella fun to be at

HONEYMOAN : Honeymoan on the other hand? OHHH BOY! They were killing it, i loved allisons energy, i also dont listen to honeymoan much but they were making me dance like i was the main character, and thanks to “too much”, its honestly my favourite song right now.

And now.. the moment i been waiting for

LOVEJOY : I was screaming my ass off, i was finally waiting after 2 years to see them live and it was like a reward for all the shit i went through and now im here, in poland, screaming to lovejoy’s music but then

Disaster struck : during perfume, i began to feel more and more dizzy, almost like i was going to puke, so i told my mum and we went straight to the merch store area, my mom was fanning me and i was drinking water that she brought me, i was also close to tears because i felt like i dissapointed the band by not being there because of me feeling ill and weak, so my mum got the organizer of the concert to give the rest of the gifts to the members after the show (sadly not taking the ones i made for the trumpeters)

After i got out of the venue, i was breaking down in tears, at that point i feel like i fully dissapointed the band that i couldnt be there for the entire gig, but atleast im seeing them in 2 and a half months from now at the open’er festival, so it wont be that bad right? 

but still, i still kinda feel guilty i had to leave the venue because it was a concert i been waiting for 2 years and it all went wrong when lovejoy came on, but i met some cool people and i had a lot of fun, so that matters mostly.

[jayjtheunsispiciousmelodicathem]

I was tagged by @rayatii, so here I go

1. Are you named after anyone?

As far as I'm aware, no. Unless you consider nicknaming myself to count for this, then probably after James from the pokemon anime, and

2. When was the last time you cried?

Several weeks ago when I told a homophobe to shut up and somehow not getting beaten up by him, and then later when I told my mum about that I also came out to her - tears of both fear and happiness

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. I'm not great parent material to be honest.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I'm not really sure, I can't really tell sarcasm when I see it, that includes myself, so if you see me using the "/s" tone indicator know I'm rolling my dice there /gen

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Chess and currently learning some of the tournament card games. These are sports no matter what you think qualifies as sport - football is also a game and yet it's counted as sport. Either way if that answer doesn't suffice, I was pretty big on basketball in middle school, and the boys bullied me for it in middle school. Then they realised that it's actually kinda fun, and I have fallen out of practice by that time, and grew to hate it like most other physical game-sports.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Their linguistic quirks. Accents, regional words, peculiar mispronunciations, particular patterns of misspelling things.

7. What’s your eye color?

Deep brown, can't tell the exact shade. a mutual friend of Raya and I said once that I have "very loyal eyes" to compare them to the colour of brown dog eyes.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I want to see my blorbos happy. Although if "bittersweet" was an option here, I'd go for that.

9. Any special talents?

I don't consider myself talented in any particular way, but I know my friends would send me strongly worded PMs if I gave that as my answer, so I'll say, what many of them always put at the forefront of the good stuff about me, "Good at learning languages", and personally I'd also say "Pattern recognition" (especially when it comes to languages)

10. Where were you born?

Masuria (southern part of former East Prussia, WHICH SHOULD NOT BE CALLED EAST PRUSSIA, "EAST" PRUSSIA WAS THE ORIGINAL PRUSSIA, THEN ONE OF THE PRUSSIAN RULERS GOT BRANDENBURG INTO HIS COUNTRY AND CALLED THE WHOLE THING PRUSSIA, AND NONSENSICALLY RENAMED PRUSSIA PROPER "EAST", LIKE THERE'S MANY DUMB NAMES IN THE WORLD BUT EAST PRUSSIA TAKES THE FUCKING CAKE), Poland

11. What are your hobbies?

Learning languages, learning about languages, playing ttRPGs, learning ttRPGs, writing (poetry and prose), reading (mostly prose but I like poetry too), traditional board games, traditional card games, modern board games, modern card games, zelda, graeco-roman mythology, mythology, history (chiefly before Napoleon) and many many more. I can already think of some stuff I missed but I don't want to make this post infinitely long

12. Do you have any pets?

Not I myself but my family has three cats! A tabby named Kati, a british shorthair named Boniface, and a ragdoll named Lucifer. We also used to have a yorkshire terrier named Little Knot (translating from the polish name, we don't have the same connotation of knot in regards to canine genitalia, the original name is Supełek)

13. How tall are you?

Last time I checked, 173cm

14. Favorite subject?

Language stuff. RPG stuff. too much stuff.

15. Dream job?

not one in mind. I thought I wanted to be a translator but with how I'm doing in college, I doubt I'd become that :')

and now for the 15 other people, lessee... @awerzo @nerothething @angeloftheeasterngate @carrotsareaces @quilveor @leosoularrow @cutthroatchorus @kettukakku-blog @mrvauxs @norislandia @hedgerian and I think that's about the extent to which I can name people off the top of my head have fun!

[arsonaetcuh]

Hetalia Incorrect Quotes part 8/? Soviet Union+Coutries From the Warsaw Pact Edition though mostly just Belarus(long)

Link to part 7

Apologies if any of the characters are OOC. I don't know them that well.

Latvia: I will put my “A” down to make “A.” Belarus: I will add to your “A” to make “AT”. Ukraine: I will add to your “AT” to make “RAT”. Russia: I will add onto your “RAT” to make “BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC”^J^. Latvia: *Flips the board*

Russia: Ah, Raivis, good, I need a minute of your time. Latvia: I’ll give you two because you scare me.

Lithuania: Which movie are we going to see tonight? Russia^J^: Oh, I always go to whichever you guys want. Lithuania: Which one do we want to see? Russia^J^: I haven’t decided yet.

Lithuania: I want all this to be over Estonia: All what? Lithuania: * gestures vaguely*

Belarus: [yelling about something] Ukraine: Wow I didn’t think so much rage could fit into someone so small.

Lithuania: H-have you been seeing anyone recently? Belarus, holding a knife: No, why? Lithuania:  W-well, would you like- Latvia: I just think seeing a therapist would help with the murdering

Bulgaria: Name a way to be nice to others. Belarus: Don’t kill them. Bulgaria: That’s setting the bar a little low but I’ll allow it.

Poland: *looks at Romania and Hungary having a debate* Why were we ever friends with them? Bulgaria: Cheap entertainment.

Romania: Don’t I look good today. Poland:  Ahem Romania: What? Poland: There’s only space for one large ego in this little group, and that’s me

[Moldova, Romania, and Bulgaria are sitting on a bench] Prussia: Why do you three look so sad? Moldova: Sit down with us and we'll tell you. [Prussia sits down] Romania: The bench is freshly painted.

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle Poland: Wait, what do you mean THREE? Police: Yes... three people Poland: Oh my god, what the- Police: Uhhh sir? Poland: RAIVIS FELL OFF

Lithuania: If I die, I want you to carry my coffin. Poland: That’s very kind of y- Lithuania: So you can let me down one more time.

Poland: What’s it like being friends with Tolys? Prussia: We're not friends. Once I asked him for a glass of water, he brought me a glass of ice and said “wait”

Estonia: Everyone synchronise your watches. Latvia: I don’t know how to do that. Poland: I don’t wear a watch. Lithuania: Time is a construct.

Lithuania: You know, I’ve always thought that deep down you’re actually quite a nice- Belarus: *pushes Lithuania up against the wall* Shut it! I’m evil, I’m not nice. I’m never nice. Nice is a four letter word, and I will not- Estonia: Excuse me, sOrRy FoR  iNtErRuPtInG aN iNtImAtE mOmEnT

Ukraine: There is only one thing worse than a rapist *pulls down piece of paper* Boom! Belarus: A child Ukraine: No!

Ukraine: What would you like to eat? Belarus: The souls of the innocent Russia: A bagel Belarus: No Russia: Two bagels

Belarus: It’s kinda cold. Lithuania: Here! Take my jacket! Belarus: I love you. Lithuania: We are such a perfect couple. Romania: Romania: I’m cold too. Hungary: Well, damn, Vlad, I can’t control the weather!

Latvia: I’m not that clumsy. Poland: Lie of the year. Bulgaria: I’m not that smart. Poland: Lie of the decade. Ukraine:  My boobs aren't that big. Poland: Lie of the century. Belarus and Lithuania: I’m not that attracted to Natalya/Tolys. Poland: Lie of the universe.

Bulgaria: imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you've lost throughout your lifetime. Romania: My will to live! I haven't seen this in 15 years Prussia: I knew I lost that potential somewhere! Lithuania: Mental stability, my old friend! Moldova: Guys, could you lighten up a little?

Lithuania: So are we fighting or flirting right now? Belarus: I literally have a knife to your throat Lithuania: Okay but that doesn’t answer my question

Lithuania: Aa--aaaaTCHOOO (sniff) Prussia: Shut the fuck up. Lithuania: Excuse me?! Prussia: I meant bless you! Lithuania: Prussia: Slip of the tongue.

Russia: I know you snuck out last night, Vladimir. Romania, internally: Play dumb! Romania: Who’s Vladimir? Romania, internally: NOT THAT DUMB-

Latvia: I sort of did something and I need your advice, but I don't want a lot of judgement and criticism. Lithuania: And you came to me?

Estonia: Your girlfriend is barking mad! Lithuania: Yeah but she's cute.

Moldova: Can we go get ice cream? Bulgaria: What did Vlad say? Moldova: Vlad said no Bulgaria: Then why are you asking me? Moldova: Because Vladimir's not the boss of you Bulgaria, internally: it's a trap it's a trap it's a tra-

[butwhyduh]

High Carbon Steel

Winter soldier x reader

Warning: so okay here’s the thing, there is guns, knives, blood, and smut in here. Also maybe the whore word once. It’s not healthy fixed Bucky. It’s the Winter Soldier. And no the reader doesn’t fix him. It’s pretty filthy and fucked up.

One of the most important part of being a spy is the ability to have people skills and patience. You thought you had plenty. But spend 3 days in a snowy cabin in a small town in Poland with a rude angry assassin was enough to fry anyone’s diplomacy and patience.

He was cleaning his guns again. This guy hasn’t shot any of them on the 3 day assignment. You were there to collect intelligence and in the rare possibility that the target was at the location, the soldier would take him out. He clearly was used to working alone. When you suggested that you pretend to be a couple to do proper recon on the area, he had rolled his eyes. You didn’t even get a name to call him so you had taken to calling him soldier.

He had moved on to sharpening blades. The continuous slicing sound had you clenching your teeth.

“Do you mind?” You said harshly.

“I’m preparing,” he said shortly.

“For what? It’s surveillance and possible assassination. You’re a pretty bad assassin to need a pocket knife to kill a politician,” you said. You’d held it in for over 2 days. He was such an asshole.

The soldier twirled the butterfly knife he was sharpening while glaring at you. “It’s stupid to be unprepared.”

“Obviously. But you’re just wasting time. Aren’t you bored of being here?” You said standing up. You walked over to where he sat. He watched you almost void of emotion. He was disconcerting but you’d seen worse.

“We should be speaking in Norwegian since that’s our cover,” he said. But the soldier did one thing a spy would never miss, he checked you out. It wasn’t obvious. He quickly scanned your body before looking back at your eyes.

“Are you even human, man? Don’t you want a break?” You asked. He inhaled deeply in annoyance.

“I’m here for a mission,” he said. You were never one that people would call timid. It kinda came with the job.

“Don’t you want just one good fuck? This is a dead site. No one has come or gone in 3 days,” you said moving into his space. He looked up at you calculating.

“A fuck? With me?” He asked in an almost clinical manner. “You sure about that?”

Before you could answer, he grabbed the back of your legs and pulled you on his lap with one hand. The butterfly blade was in the other. You gasped and then smiled. Finally something interesting.

He pressed the blade to the cleave between your breasts. “I could kill you right now.” It didn’t have the desired effect because you thought it was fucking hot that he was threatening you.

“You haven’t yet,” you said leaning towards the knife. He pressed it until you felt a sting and few drops of blood were visible and he pulled the knife back. He bent and kissed the area. His tongue lapped up the blood.

The soldier put the knife on the table to roughly grab your ass. He grabbed your face with his other hand and shoved his tongue in your mouth. There was no kindness in his kiss. He was simply taking what he wanted. So you did the same. You grabbed his hair and pulled it tight to expose his neck. You grabbed a Karambit knife from his stash on the table and pressed it against his throat. His hand grabbed your wrist and you smiled.

“I could kill you right now,” you purred.

“Then I wouldn’t fuck you,” he said lazily with a smirk. His other hand went down to cup your clothed pussy. You ground against his hand. “And that would be a shame. Already wet, doll? And all I did was hold a knife to you. You’re pretty fucked up, hu?”

“Bold words from a man hard as a fucking rock while I literally have a knife to your throat,” you said before nipping at his neck.

“You gonna do something about it?” He asked roughly. You grinned.

“Why don’t you take it, big man?” You whispered in his ear. Your knife was taken from your hand and you were being picked up and carried to the bed in a second. He tossed you on the mattress and ripped the buttons on your shirt. You roughly pulled his shirt over his head. His lips attacked you, licking, sucking, and biting across your breasts. You massaged his cock through his tactical pants. You roughly pulled at the button and zipper before shoving his clothing down his legs. He ripped your leggings down your legs.

He moved to hover over you but you hooked your leg around his and you flipped. “I’m in charge,” you said before lowering yourself on his cock. He groaned and roughly gripped your hips. You were definitely going to have bruises. You swirled your hips against him before bouncing. He let you ride him for a minute before flipping you both over with him still inside you. He pulled out and you whined from loss.

“Baby doll, you were never in charge,” he whispered, holding your hands above your head with one metal hand. His other reached down and lightly slapped your cunt. You gasped loudly. He repeated the action a little harder and you moaned. “I knew you’d like that.”

He gripped your leg and hiked your knee up to your chest before slamming into you. His cock went much deeper and you couldn’t help but moan loudly. The soldier had a smirk as he pounded you into the mattress.

He bent down and wrapped his hand around your throat. He didn’t press hard enough to cut off your air but just a little pressure to know it was there. You grabbed at his arms. Jesus, he was pushing all those dark little buttons you never let be pressed. Any normal man would go running in the night if you told him that you wanted him to hold a knife to you and choke you as he fucked you boneless.

“You like that too? You really are fucked up. I could crush your fucking throat and you’d probably cum,” he growled. You whined at his dirty talk. His hand moved from your throat to lightly slap your cheek in an almost playful way that you hadn’t seen him do. His hand went back to your throat.

He suddenly pulled out and flipped you over, pulling your ass in the air. The soldier pushed your chest into the mattress and roughing fucked into you. Fuck, you weren’t going to last long if he kept it up. You reached a hand down to rub your clit only to earn another pussy slap. He roughly circled your clit himself.

“You’re going to cum any second. Thought you were in charge and now you’re going to cum on my cock. Like a little whore,” he said teasing. You whined and rocked back into him. A few more thrusts and you closer your eyes and clenched around him as he came, moaning incoherently. Your thighs shook and the soldier roughly thrusted a few more times before pulling out and cumming on your ass. He slapped your ass before climbing out of bed.

The soldier went directly to the bathroom and started a shower without closing the door. He climbed in and looked back at you in challenge. Did you dare join him or had he fucked the fire out of you?

Well, no one ever called you timid.

Let me know what you think. Send in prompts or just talk to me. Tell me I’m fucked up. 😆 come on quarantine is soo boring.

[365days365movies]

April 5, 2021: Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) (Recap: Part One)

Yeah, so...Spectrum exploded last night.

So, I'm unfortunately a little behind. BUT NEVER FEAR! I'll get back on time before you know it! So, uh...where were we last time? OH RIGHT! Let's talk about black comedy. And I don't mean black-and-white comedies, or comedies prominently featuring African-American culture and demographic. No, I mean dark comedies.

The "black comedy" functions off of macabre or taboo humor and jokes, and is often closely associated with biting satire and commentary in film. That definition is loose as hell, I know, but it's all about the subject matter. The most common subject matter for dark humor is death, of course, and related subjects to death. War, murder, strife, madness, and violence are also common topics here.

Some of the best comedies are black comedies, though. For example, Brazil (1985; dir. Terry Gilliam) focuses on themes of depression, dreams, terrorism, totalitarian governments, and madness. And it's GREAT. How about The Death of Stalin (2018; dir. Armando Iannucci)? The title ALONE should tell you everything you need to know about the tone and topic, AND YET...

It's HILARIOUS. And also informative! If you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend it. And again, that film is about, well...the death of Stalin, and the fallout of his disastrous and murderous regime. Dark, DARK topic, but very funny movie.

Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb is about war; Fargo is about murder in North Dakota; Heathers is about a toxic relationship and the death and murder of teenagers; Birdman, or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance is about an actor's existential crisis and complete mental breakdown; and Trainspotting is about the devastating effects of drug addiction and features a DEAD BABY FOR CHRIST'S SAKE...and yet they're all full of laughs! Except for the baby scene. Fuck me, the baby scene in Trainspotting.

So, yeah, these are a diverse group of films, that's for sure. But where does it all start? There's 1942's To Be or Not to Be (dir. Ernst Lubitsch), which is about a Polish theatre company who need to escape in the midst of...well, 1942 Poland. If you don't get why that's dark, you should probably look up some history, bud. Charlie Chaplin would dip into the role in 1947's Monsieur Verdoux, which I mentioned last time. And there's the seldom-talked-about Kind Hearts and Coronets (dir. Robert Hamer), a 1949 film about murder for status, essentially.

But it's hard to argue that the most prominent early black comedy is 1944's Cary Grant vehicle, Arsenic and Old Lace.

Directed by Frank Capra, this film was based on a 1941 stage play, and is about...well, we'll get to it. While its prominence as a black comedy is one reason I'm watching this movie, the other is...well, to be honest, this is a movie I heard about CONSTANTLY from my Mom, as this is one of her favorites. And yet, like Dirty Dancing, I've somehow never seen it! Let's remedy that.

So, without further ado, let's get into it! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

The film starts off with a BANG, as a man calls me a “big simp” to my face! Actually, he’s screaming at a Brooklyn Dodgers game, where a massive fight breaks out. This fight quickly transitions to a city hall, where a line of people are waiting to file marriage licenses. Amongst the line is Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant) and Elaine Harper (Priscilla Lane).

Brewster is hiding from the press, as he’s a famous reviewer, and author of the Bachelor’s Bible, and it would be quite the scandal for him to get married. And yet, he’s head over heels in love with Elaine. After going through an existential crisis about the whole thing, he gives into Elaine’s sweet demeanor, and the two file their marriage license officially.

It’s Halloween day, and we move from the city to the suburbs of Brooklyn, where two policemen, O’Hara (Jack Carson) and Sanders (John RIdgely) are on patrol. Sanders tells O’Hara of the kindly Brewster Sisters, the sweetest women on Earth, both of whom live in the neighborhood. Currently, they are being visited by Reverend Harper (Grant Mitchell), Elaine’s father. He’s speaking with Abby (Josephine Hull) and Martha Brewster (Jean Adair), the kindly aunts of Mortimer. 

Also living there is Mortimer’s brother Teddy Brewster (John Alexander), who apparently believes that he’s Teddy Roosevelt, which is...hilarious. Dude is hilarious, seriously. The cops come over to visit the two, and collect some clothes and toys for local charity. Also, Teddy only leaves a room by screaming “CHAAAAARGE!!!”, and running up the stairs, and I love Teddy a lot.

Reverend Harper and the cops leave for the night, and the sisters settle down for the evening. Abby and Martha state that their plans for Elaine and Mortimer should go as scheduled, which is probably talking about their marriage. Abby also mentions that she’s done something while she was away, to Martha’s delight and surprise. They tell Teddy that he’ll soon be digging a new lock for the Panama Canal...whatever that means.

Martha’s about to go to the basement to see what Abby’s done, but she states that because she was all by herself, the surprise is in the window seat. As she’s about to look at the surprise, Elaine shows up in the window, and the two arrive to give the happy news that they’re married. Elaine goes to tell her father of the news, while Mortimer goes to tell his sweet aunts. Afterwards, the two will be on their honeymoon, going to Niagara Falls. And I should say, they’re quite a sweet couple.

After telling the news to his aunts, he asks them where his notes are for his new controversial book, Mind Over Matrimony. They go to look for it around the house, and Teddy comes downstairs, dressed up in attire to “go to Panama.” Aunt Abby comes across a childhood picture of Jonathan, Mortimer’s brother and apparently a violent sociopath or some sort. She goes to burn the picture (geez), and Mortimer continues to look for the notes. He goes to the window seat.

Yup! It’s a body! Looks like Abby and Martha’s sweet old lady act is a guise for some myurder! Which I know, just because it’s the most famous thing about the movie. However, Mortimer thinks the murderer is Teddy, and tells his sweet old aunts about the body, asking that he gets put into an asylum. But Abby notes that Teddy didn’t kill the man, and they already know about the body!

Which, yeah, surprises Mortimer, obviously.

Abby cheerfully admits that the man, Mr. Hoskins, was poisoned by a tainted glass of elderberry wine, and that they did so on purpose, hiding the body before the Reverend came for a visit. The whole thing isn’t a big deal; it’s just Abby and Martha’s little secret!

After they leave, and brush off the whole thing as easy as needlepoint or macramé as a hobby, Mortimer, is completely broken by the whole affair, and is partially convinced that he’s dreaming. All the while, Elaine’s trying to get Mortimer to come over and speak with her father. But Mortimer can’t exactly forget about this whole silly murder thing, and goes to confront his aunts about it. He learns that Teddy’s digging not a lock, but a grave in the cellar. As he’s done with 10 other bodies. Or maybe it’s 11 others?

After picking up a phone call from Elaine, then hanging up abruptly (and understandably), Mortimer finds out how this whole thing started. See, the two have a “Renters Wanted” sign in their front lawn, and the neighborhood thinks that it’s there so the two sweet old ladies can offer help to anyone in need, even though they aren’t actually renting to anyone. In reality...well, they do it for another reason.

See, an older gentleman stopped by a bit ago, and he had a heart attack right there in the living room. After seeing how peaceful he looked, the two decided to bring in other lonely old men and bring in the same kind of peace. And from there...well, yeah, you get the general idea. They’ve been poisoning them with arsenic, strychnine, and cyanide mixed in with elderberry wine. Apparently, Martha’s got the mixture just right so that it tastes delicious. With all this explained, they offer Mortimer a sip of wine. Which he’s understandably nervous about.

But with all of that done, Elaine comes over to check in on him. But he’s not able to tell her anything, which greatly (and understandably) confuses her. He basically kicks her out (which enrages her, once again understandably), and calls a judge with the intent to frame the whole affair on Teddy, who’s always been.unstable. Which, for the record, is not even SLIGHTLY going to solve the problem.

But as he’s on the phone, a man named Gibbs (Edward McWade) comes in to rent an apartment. He’s all alone in the world, with nobody to care for him. And of course, this leads to the women trying to poison him with the wine. It’s a funny yet tense moment as he stops just short of drinking the wine, distracted by Mortimer’s freakout over the phone. But Mortimer gets off the phone JUST in time to scare Gibbs away and stop him from drinking the wine. And it is...VERY funny, goddamn.

As Mortimer tries to tell the aunts exactly what’s wrong with what they’re doing, the phone rings. It’s a call from Witherspoon (Edward Everett Horton), who runs an asylum that Mortimer wants Teddy committed into. However, they don’t quite have room for him, as they have too many Theodore Roosevelts at present. However, they do need more Napoleon Bonapartes. I love this goddamn movie.

Still, Witherspoon agrees to take him in despite that, and Mortimer head out to get the paperwork done. However, he asks his aunts to not do anything until he gets back, and he also proises that he’ll attend the “services” for their latest victim. He leaves, and kinda steals a cabbie’s car in the process (I love this movie, I’m telling you), and Abby and Martha start shutting things down for the night. However, as they do, they get a mysterious knock on the door. They pretend not to be home...only for a man with an ominous scar to enter the room regardless.

Let’s pause here, shall we? See you in Part 2!

[nyaheum]

My yearly list of Eurovision songs after the first impression (I mean, for like, half of them. I heard snippets of some songs.). Judged on music videos, because...if I only listen to the songs on Spotify, my eyes get bored. :’)

(oh, and don’t talk to me about iceland’s placement, I know this might be unpopular)

X. Belarus

Fuck Belarus, all my homies hate Belarus. Not even going to grace them with a rating.

Norway (TIX – Fallen Angel)

...no. :( And it’s not even because Keiino didn’t win, I just wholeheartetly hate this song. And I’m kinda sorry to TIX, because he seems like a cool dude and his stage outfit is absolutely hilarious, but oh my god do I hate this song with an absolute burning passion.

Poland (RAFAL – The Ride)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji – well, this is a non-qualifier if I’ve ever seen one. Can we just...skip this?

Belgium (Hooverphonic – The Wrong Place)

Nap time! This song annoys me. I cannot explain it, but it gives me a headache and my whole body is revolting against this song. I am not kidding. Objectively, I don’t even hate it, but there’s just something about it...that makes me go...hnghgng…

North Macedonia (Vasil – Here I Stand)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji ver. 2 – I am not trying to sound mean, but does North Macedonia do any music that is not dramatic power ballads? I’m serious. (And I don’t like it, sorry. :((...except for the high notes, I like them. When he can hit them live.)

Estonia (Uku Suviste – The Lucky One)

This (the music video)...is soft porn. I am slightly scared of Uku. I don’t know why. But, uh...this is better than last year’s song? Still, it wouldn’t qualify under my watch, whoops.

Georgia (Tornike Kipiani – You)

He stopped yelling angrily at the microphone. :((( Nah, but this isn’t my thing. It’s great that they are doing their own thing, it’s just not really my thing...it also reminds me of a song I know, damn.

Austria (Vincent Bueno - Amen)

He looks like a german youtuber. I don’t know hich one, but he looks like one. I also canot tell if he’s 18 or 38, lol. (For some reason he also reminds me of Alex Albon, which is even weirder.)...oh, uh, the song? Idk, I don’t care for I. It’s fine.

Spain (Blas Cantó – Voy A Querdarme)

Confession: I’m probably the only person who actually doesn’t like the sound of Spanish all that much. Whoops. Apart from that though, I’m not the biggest fan of this song. Can’t really say more about that. Meh.

The Netherlands (Jeangu Macrooy – Birth Of A New Age)

Listen: I really like the tone of this voice. It’s great. I am not a fan of the song. There’s something just very off about the loud percussions (?) in the background that make me go absolutely crazy when listening to this. My sensory-overload-prone ears hate it, and I’m sorry...the part before the last chorus on the other hand I love. The whole song could have sounded like that and I would have loved it. (...and I can’t unhear “You are my broccoli – You know my broccoli!” ;-;)

Azerbaijan (Efendi – Mata Hari) Whenever I see Efendi, my brain still goes “Cleopatrrrrra!”, oof. This song sounds like a song I know. Which...is super unprecice, but I genuinely don’t know which one. I do like that they kept the weird pre-chorus thing from Cleopatra (and reference the song later on), but I must say that I liked Cleopatra more...but it’s a party song, so I think it will be fun on stage!

Romania (ROXEN - Amnesia)

I didn’t like her song last year, I don’t enjoy this all too much and I’m kinda sorry but also...I don’t want to apologize for my taste in music, lmao. I want her hair though. Give me her hair.

Denkmark (Fyr & Flamme – Ove Os Pa Hinanden)

Ring ding ding, native language bonus. This is also way more fun than I thought it would be, hah. VERY retro, but I don’t hate that? :D (this and sweden really aren’t any different in terms of how much I like them)

Portugal (The Black Mama – Love Is On My Side)

I can appreciate this. I just wish it was in Portuguese, honestly. I don’t really know if I like the English for this song. That being said, I don’t know if you can make these very specific tones (you know what I mean) in portuguese without it sounding super off, so…

Ireland (Lesley Roy – Maps)

Okay, you do you Ireland. :D

Israel (Eden Alene – Set Me Free)

This exists. :D

Cyprus (Elena Tsagrinou – El Diablo)

Cyprus came to party, and I can’t be mad at that. I just don’t know why everybody in the YouTube comments loves this SO MUCH that they are sure that it will win if it gets the jury votes. I don’t think it’s as good as Fuego or She Got Me were, but maybe I just have no taste in party music. I don’t party. (Only if you got a 2000s playlist and some iced tea.)

France (Barbara Pravi – Voilà)

FRANCE sending a BALLAD? In MY Eurovision? It’s more likely than you think. It’s good, objectively. Personally, I don’t really care for it all that much and feel like I already know it.

United Kingdom (Embers – James Newman)

A good, modern song? In my british eurovision song? What happened on the Isles over quarantine? Are you guys okay? Did you find yourself? Have you taken your last breath (breath!) and looked at your past results? I’m impressed enough to put this relatively high, wow.

Serbia (Hurricane – LOCO LOCO)

*adore delano voice* party! Oh, and native language bonus...for a party song! I’m...impressed, actually. I cannot decide wheter I prefer this or Hasta La Vista, but I think it’s this one? The flows smoother, if that means literally anything.

Bulgaria (VICTORIA – Growing Up Is Getting Old)

*shrugs* I think a lot of people will like this. And I get that. I think I even understand it...yeah. I didn’t like her song last year either. It’s just personal preference, I think. I just want to have fun during Eurovision, hah.

Finland (Blind Channel – Dark Side)

Finland: FUCK YOU!!! Germany: Fuck you. <3

That’s all I’ll say, we know how the Finnish are, this is not surprising, lmao. (And I’m one of those children that grew up on Rammstein, so I legally cannot dislike this.)

Croatia (Albina - Tick-Tock)

Tick-tock, can you hear me go tick-tock? My heart is like a clock, I'm steady like a rock-...oh wait, wrong tick-tock! Still, really enjoy this song’s chorus – I actually enjoy it so much that it makes up for the utter loss of interest I experience once it’s over, chrm.

Sweden (Tusse – Voices)

I mean...let’s be honest, it’s a generic swedish pop song. It sounds like every other Swedish entry, and I think that bothers me. I know, that sounds kind of...weird, looking at my choices higher up in the list, but...meh. I think this will easily qualify for the Final and place high, and I am totally okay with that. It’s just not...what I wanted, I guess? :D (and i’m sorry but as a german-speaker I cannot get over the name “tusse”) (oh, and tusse seems to be super cool)

Albania (Anxhela Peristeri - Karma)

Oh, we’re going to war in 130 A.D.? Fine, let me just pack my spear and- oh, Albania has already sent a singer? Ah, well, might as well give up and just vibe.

Czech Republic (Benny Cristo - omaga)

This sounds fun. Not a winner or anything, but fun. I’ll probably still be on Twitter when he’s performing, whoops.

Slovenia (Ana Sklic - Amen)

Wait, there’s TWO songs called Amen? And why do I actually kinda like this? Oh well, might as well just accept it. (Her voice though...mhmmhmhm…yes please)

Iceland (Dadi og Gagnamagnid – 10 Years)

We just vibin’. I liked Think About Things more, but I’m very much biased here...because I’ve known that song for a year now. But this is still very good, and very on brand. (And I understand like...half of the lyrics, but I am okay with that.)

Australia (Montaigne - Technicolour)

not australia flexing at all of europe that they can hold big gatherings! D: oh, but I like this way more than last years song. I feel like Montaigne can show her GREAT voice way better in this song. (Even though her outfit and the sound of the song reminds me of the UK song that had...a dude run on the stage. I can’t think of the word for it right now.)

Malta (Destiny – Je Me Casse)

Destiny’s voice is just….wow. This is very different than All My Love, but it’s fun. The topic of the lyrics kinda remind me of Toy, and I like that…..I don’t really like the music video (especially the dancers in the colorful dresses? idk), but I’ll just ignore that.

Germany (I Don’t Feel Hate - Germany)

Confession time: I actually actively enjoy this song. Everybod is shitting on it, but it’s FUN and it has a good message, and Jendrik seems like the nicest dude ever and...it doesn’t deserve all the hate it’s getting? It’s completely self-produced and just fun. Stop being mean. :(

(...also someone on youtube said “pewdiepie” and I can’t unsee that now so fuck you >:((...no, no I don’t feel hate, just rethink your life choices)

Moldova (Natalia Gordienko - SUGAR)

What in the “Eis.de ist in der Kiste” is this music video? And I thought I would absolutely hate this song, but I actually don’t mind it all that much. It’s actually fun. Oh no, I’m splipping, someone catch me, aaaaaahhhhh….(and that poor cake dude. Is this song about cannibalism? Does she want to eat him?)

San Marino (Senhit – Adrenalina)

Catch me hum the chorus of this song at least once a day...but honestly, without any malicious intent: what the actual FUCK san marino? This is so much better than Freaky, and even though I do not believe for one second that this will win, the simple outragiousness of bringing Flo Rida to Eurovision deserves attention. (Bringing someone like Flo Rida to ESC sounds more like Scandinavia/Bulgaria, doesn’t it?)

Russia (Manizha – Russian Woman)

Not gonna lie, I miss Little Big, but at least they are sending something that’s at least as weird. I love that. Russian Rap is cool as fuck anyway, so I’m fully here for this...but I’m glas this song doesn’t have a music video, this just has to be a live performance. (Oh, and another strong woman!)

Ukraine (Go_A – SHUM)

I’m SO glad Go_A are back. But, let me be completely honest: I know why they had to change the lyrics, but I still liked the first version better. BUT I feel like the new one will grow and me and it will climb one or two places, because the Instrumental just slaps SO HARD. (Makes me feel like putting on a Cybergoth outfit and start dancing at a German industrial park, lmao.)

Latvia (Samanta Tina – The Moon Is Rising)

Does this count as my guilty pleasure this year? I loved her song last year, and this sounds similar, so...I like this too. It sounds modern as fuck (well, for Europe, you know) and I can definitely...”vibe” with that. I genuinely really enjoy this, and I don’t know why. (Even though I prefer last years drop.) A lot of “strong, independent women”-songs this year, and I’m not complaining.

Switzerland (Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’Univers)

Just so we’re clear, this and Italy share the exact same spot. I just cannot compare them at all. Gjon’s voice just takes me hostage throughout this whole song and won’t let me go. And everything that isn’t english/is in the countries offical language immediately gets plus points from me. As if this song needed them anyway.

Lithuania (The Roop – Discoteque)

Aaaaaand...dance break! Good, I just love them so much, it’s not even funny anymore. And I’ve been singing this song randomly since it came out. I can’t stop. It has burned itself into my brain. Let’s dis-co-teque right at my home! *waves arms around with no sign of coordination*

(and does anyone else feel like he’s serhat, just with a different alignment? Like, they are both chaotic, but serhat is chaotic neutral and he’s either chaotic good or chaotic bad, it really depends on the way he looks at the camera)

Italy (Maneskin – Zitti E Buoni)

Italy delivers, as they do every year. Not only do I really like this song (it is very much my genre), THIS is an aesthetic I can get behind! Knowing Eurovision, I doubt it will win, but damn if it won’t be super fun! (I am so glad this won Sanremo, hah.)

[twokinkybeans]

The Arachnoids: ROCK BAND AU [STARKER] - Chapter 9: WARY WORDS

READ “CHAPTER 9: WARY WORDS” ON AO3

Find the masterpost with all the chapters linked here!

Taglist: @crystallinecrimsonmoth​​​​​​​ & @staticwhispersinthedark​​​​​​​ (Let me know if you want to be added!)

-

Chapter 9: Wary Words

Tony’s gone.

That’s the first thought that crosses Peter’s mind when he stirs back to life after a short but good sleep. The room is empty and quiet, and it’s not just the man that has vanished. His bags are gone too and the sheets Tony slept under are neatly drawn up over the mattress. If it weren’t for the cologne lingering on Peter’s shirt, he could’ve sworn it’d all been a dream. It’s real, he reminds himself. It’s all real.

Peter doesn’t like the uneasy feeling that settles under his skin. He clamps his jaws together and blows into his cheeks, then letting the pressured air escape past his lips in a defeated sigh. He doesn’t know what to do. While it’s clear that something has to change for Tony, Peter wouldn’t know where to even start. He does realize it’s not his problem to solve, but he wants to help Tony however possible. It’s idle hope, though, to think the solution might come easy.

Tony’s gone, and there’s no sign of him until the live performance. It physically aches Peter’s chest to watch how freely Tony moves around the stage. No anxiety. No spiraling thoughts. Just Tony living through his music. The stage is Tony’s home. Performing is his home.

But after thanking his Finnish fans for supporting them today… There’s no trace left of where he could’ve gone. Tony’s hiding once again.

Latvia.

Poland.

Hungary

The next few days are all the same. No sight of Tony other than soundchecks and shows. No one knows where he is. And Peter realizes, horrified, that as much as everyone’s worried about Tony’s behavior, they don’t really care. Not truly. As long as Tony shows up to sing they seem awfully okay with it. 

Austria

Italy

Spain

Peter still hasn’t managed to catch a moment alone with Tony. From a distance, he can see that the man looks paler. Tired. Lonely.

France

Belgium

Germany

Peter’s fed up with Tony evading everyone and he decides that he’ll do everything it takes to connect to him again. He will talk to Tony. As soon as he gets the chance.

Netherlands

-

“Hey, Stark!” Peter greets the man cheerfully as he finally finds the man by himself in the large Nijmegen venue. Tony’s leaning against the front barrier, looking up at the stage. “I’ve been thinking about your offer and I’ve decided to take you up on those guitar classes.” Tony tenses up and he grips the front barrier so tight his knuckles turn white. Oh no.  Slowly, Tony turns around to face Peter. Tony looks straight at him but Peter can tell it takes everything the man has, to not avert his gaze. Peter’s heart clenches at the knowledge that the man’s been hurting so much lately, that it's a habit for him to hide everything.

“Hi, space boy.” Tony sniffs once and straightens his shoulders, faking a wide grin. Peter frowns at that. Does Tony still have the feeling he has to pretend so much?  Tony continues talking before Peter has a chance to resume the conversation himself. “Wouldn’t you rather do another one of those sleepovers? ‘Twas quite a messy night, huh?” 

What?

“That makes it sound like we had an actual one night stand,” Peter says slowly, eyebrows raised. If Tony wants to approach it like this, Peter will try to play along. Tony huffs a startled laugh at that. “That’s what happens when there’s only one bed,” he jokes. Tony’s smile falters soon after. He casts his eyes down to the floor. “I’m really sorry about that night, though… That… Wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“What wasn’t?” Peter asks, tilting his head. He kinda expects Tony to cut the conversation short and make a run for it, but surprisingly, he doesn’t. “The panic attack- I never wanted to drop that on you. The hug…” Tony’s cheeks turn a little bit redder at that. He’s ashamed, Peter realizes. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

Tony tenses at that once more. He blinks a few times, unsure of what to do. Peter swallows. The last thing he wants is to chase Tony away himself. “Hey…” Peter speaks softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” “No,” Tony pushes out. “You did. And you’re right, I guess. I have been avoiding you.” Tony glances around real quick to see if there’s no one else around. When he confirms they’re alone he sighs. “I’ve never been this vulnerable around anyone. I… don’t know how to deal with it.” Tony sits down on the floor to lean against the front barrier and he shakes his head. Peter carefully walks closer to him.

“That’s alright. It’s hard,” Peter breathes as he sinks down onto the cool metal plates as well. “I know my story isn’t nearly the same…” He continues. “But I was young when I lost everyone but Aunt May. I closed off. It fucking sucks when people watch your every move ‘cause they’re not sure what to do with you and your emotions.” Tony looks up at that. His eyes contain the exact spark of recognition Peter had hoped to ignite.

“Sometimes, it’d be much easier if none of it ever happened - or if no one knows. So that you can pretend it never did, even if just for a few minutes.” Peter pauses, trying to figure out the right words to continue. “But- If you never allow yourself to be vulnerable, no one’s gonna understand why you keep pushing them away. Eventually, they’ll take it as rejection. They give up. And it leaves you lonelier than you were before.” “Sounds familiar,” Tony mumbles quietly. Peter’s lips curl into a faint smile.  “Yeah... And I’m not saying you always have to talk about the shit that’s going on, but you can let people know you’re not okay. Confide in them. You need that sense of community, Tony. Especially when things are bad.”

They’re both silent after that. It’s not an uncomfortable silence. Not at all. At one point, Tony’s composure softens. He goes less rigid, and his left knee falls against Peter’s right one. Peter lets it happen without a single thought; perhaps he too likes the warmth coming from the other’s body. Someone who, even though the story is different, shares the emotions Peter knows so well.

“Thank you,” Tony finally breathes. “That’s… You’re right- I-...” Tony groans when the words don’t come easy. Most likely unconsciously, he presses his knee into Peter’s a little more. Peter doesn’t say anything to give the man his time. He does press his knee back, though. Hoping to comfort Tony. Tony swallows and slowly continues. “Talking to you makes me feel like I can breathe, even if just slightly.” The words cause a gentle warmth to spread through Peter’s chest.

“I meant what I said the other night, Tony. I’m gonna be here, alright?” “You barely know me...” “Isn’t that enough of a reason to get to know each other better? I mean, we already slept in one bed after all,” Peter says, trying to lighten the conversation with a small joke. It seems to work. Tony snorts. “I think you’re my favorite one night stand,” Tony grins. Somehow, even though it’s obviously meant as a joke, it catches Peter completely off guard and he blushes. Tony notices and he grins.  “Ooooooh! You liked it too!” Tony teases. Peter growls in response and leans sideways to bump into Tony’s shoulder. The man laughs, actually laughs, and the sound reverberates in Peter’s chest. Is this the lighter side of Tony he hasn’t seen yet?

“Hey,” Tony mumbles once his snickering died down. “I have to go do this stupid interview. Harley will lynch me if I don’t show up.” “Shouldn’t Bruce and Happy be the ones to do that?” “They don’t really bother with me. They’ve given Harley the most prestigious task of babysitting me.” “Harley seems nice though, isn’t he?” Peter tries. Tony hums. “For sure. He’s a good kid.” 

Tony’s silent after that and Peter bites down his bottom lip. He feels like the conversation isn’t over yet. He drops his head to one side to look at Tony. Tony raises his eyebrows. “Will you be okay?” Peter asks quietly. “I…” Tony sighs. “I guess? Interviews trigger my anxiety quite badly. Nat, Steve, and Harley know about the medication shit, though. They try to help me through. They just don’t know about… Morgan.” Tony’s voice wavers when he chokes out her name. “I’ll manage. I promise.” Peter smiles and leans into Tony a little bit more, trying to bring him some comfort.

“Alright. Promise me one thing though,” Peter whispers. “Or, two actually?” “What’s that?” “I want those guitar classes,” Peter states and Tony snorts, shrugging and shaking his head. “Sure, what else?”

Peter hesitates and he clasps his own hands together, leaning forward onto his upper legs. From there, he eyes Tony carefully. “Don’t rewatch it.” Peter takes a breath. “The interview. Answer their questions and then forget about it.”

Tony takes a few moments to think about that before he swallows and nods. His eyes sparkle when he raises his head to look Peter straight into his eyes. “I promise.”

-

Peter mindlessly helps Ned set up his drums for tonight. Ned loves the new set, even though it’s not nearly the same quality as the one he has at home. It’s got a nice sound, Peter has to admit that. He doesn’t know enough about drums to give a solid opinion, but if Ned’s happy, so is he.

“So, what’s up with Tony?” Ned asks, fiddling with one of his drumsticks when Peter finishes tightening the last hi-hat clutch. Peter leans back, eyeing Ned curiously. “What do you mean?” “He seems… So… Nice? Today? I dunno,” he mumbles. “He’s not himself.” “Oh?” “Yeah, he-”

Before Ned can finish his explanation, the door slams open and Peter looks up startled. MJ comes rushing in and she throws herself into Ned’s arms. “Help!” She squeaks.  “Hey, hey! What’s wrong?” “I- Harley, he- He asked me out,” she chokes out. “And my dumb ass said no. But when I ran off I- I realized I wanted to say yes and I don’t know what to do.” MJ groans and presses her lips together.

“Please, you gotta help me.”

-

Read the next chapter >> 10: Blossoming Bond

[hetaliashitpostingftw]

HETALIA OFFICE MASTERPOST

Lol you know The Office? Its good but what if it was like,,, H e t a l i a?

ALLIES

America: Baaaaasically Michael from The Office. He likes leading and cares about the team, but can be a little... out of hand... sometimes. Canada: He sits in the corner and no one knows he’s there, but he’s always pulling his weight in projects. China: Always calling for tech support. Always. It annoys the heck out of whomever’s sitting next to him. France: Is the one who “accidentally” sends an email around to the people at the office which has “inappropriate” content.  England: Getting up in arms because either America’s being incompetent or he’s fed up with France’s nonsense. Russia: “It’d be a shame if something were to happen, da?” (he doesn’t work well with other people, too many HR complaints).

AXIS

Germany: He isn’t the boss but he is the annoying backseat driver who isn’t even second in command. Italy: “Lets go to a ✨𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒓✨ after all this guys and someone else can pay!!!11!!” Japan: Forgets about the work and is watching anime with his screens turned away from everyone else.

BALTICS

Estonia: Guess who’s 𝓣𝓮𝓬𝓱 𝓢𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽 👁️ 👄 👁️ Lithuania: "Okay you want me to do that? I’ll do it just dont fire me pls dont” Latvia:"Hey boss what about the fact that you’re doing it wrong?”

EASTERN EUROPE

Romania: Actually does the work but doesn’t tell anyone when he’s done so he can sneak off and do whatever Bulgaria: Microsoft paint obsessed Ukraine: Cares for everyone like the epic mom friend she is Belarus: She doesn’t work there. She’s just there. And so far no one’s had balls enough to tell her to go.

MEDITERRANEAN EUROPE

Spain: "Hey guys I know you didn’t ask but ill make you all lunch! It’s going to be pasta! For the fifteenth day in a row!” Romano: RAGEWORKRAGEWORKRAGEWORKRAGEWORK- Greece: That one person with the “hang in there bby” poster as well as countless cat photos in frames. He also does his work but he’s real quiet about it. Turkey: Likes to hang out by the water cooler and gossip. Cyprus: Best friends with Greece but works surprisingly well with Bulgaria (or, he does, after an incident of him stealing his yogurt). Vatican City: Keeps a bible with him but follows most things he’s told to do. Monaco: She’s a seceratary but only because she’s able to get out of more work that way.

NORDIC EUROPE

Denmark: Keeps a little box of “creativity legos” on his desk which he plays with. He works in Human Resources and loves it. Sweden: Takes orders for the company’s product and is very organized. Keeps a little picture of his family on his desk which he’ll talk to anyone about. Finland: Has his headphones on all the time and sCrEams at anyone who dare interrupt his work. He also coordinates all of the holidays around the office, as well as parties. Norway: He has a thing for the cute guy in HR and keeps trying to meet him “causally” over by the water cooler. Has a plasma ball on his desk because it looks cool. Iceland: His brother got him an unpaid internship (which he hates) and so he spends a lot of time complaining and texting Norway angry gifs while he goes and hangs out with others his age in the breakroom.

LOW COUNTRIES

Belgium: Brings in cookies for everyone every Monday.  Netherlands: Works with Sweden and the two of them have desks next to each other. He helps Sweden when he’s having a prank war with Denmark. Luxembourg: Some higher-up executive who comes down every once in a while to flaunt his awesome-ness and dole out orders.

CENTRAL EUROPE

Austria: Plays classical music off his computer but without earbuds b/c he doesn’t know how. He’s low-key annoying but doesn’t know it. Slovakia: Has the coolest mousepad ever. He also contributes a substantial amount to most meetings. Czechia: Set her space up to be the neatest in the office. She’s one of the more successful members. Hungary: Made a pinterest board of house ideas in her spare time which she makes Austria look at. She doesn’t really care about the work, she’s just there. Switzerland: Financials. He also calls home at 12pm every day to check in on his sister and make sure everything’s okay.  Poland: Decorated the fuck out of his cubicle. Prussia: Has a whole collection of weird-ass ties which he switches. Some say he’s never worn the same one twice!

ASIA

Hong Kong: Also interning, but he doesn’t hate it and takes it instead as an opportunity to take photos of people and make them either cursed or into memes. Macau: Is the second-in-command in the office and basically controls everything since america isn’t great at it. South Korea: Water cooler? He likes to hang out with Turkey. Thailand: Keeps a cool and ornate whiteboard which he likes to take notes on. Vietnam: “What do you mean I have to work with someone else?!?!?!” Taiwan: She works under Denmark in human resources and often has to resolve conflicts. India: Sometimes invites Vietnam to play chess with him online on their monitors.

AFRICA

Egypt: Stole some of Denmark’s legos without his knowledge so he could build too. He’s pretty bored even though he does everything. Seychelles: Sits by the window and doesn’t get her work done since she’s distracted. Cameroon: Playing pranks on Australia when he gets bored, mostly after he’s finished his work.

OCEANIA + CARIBBEAN

Australia: “OY MATE SO YA WANT TO FOIGHT??!!” (he’s on for that prank war) New Zealand: Sits next to Cyprus and sometimes falls asleep, but Cyprus thinks he’s *kinda* cute and doesn’t wake him. Other than that, he’s really good at running meetings. Cuba: Brings fancy chocolates or other things which he takes out to share with special people on special occasions. He’s pretty nonchalant but comes off as intimidating for some.

[disgusting-semla]

He compartido 147 publicaciones este 2022

44 publicaciones originales (30 %)

103 reblogueos (70 %)

Estos son los blogs que más he reblogueado:

@wings0ffuneral

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He etiquetado 45 publicaciones en 2022

#ask: 16 publicaciones

#anon: 12 publicaciones

#dead: 10 publicaciones

#morbid: 10 publicaciones

#interview: 9 publicaciones

#per yngve ohlin: 9 publicaciones

#pelle ohlin: 8 publicaciones

#mayhem: 8 publicaciones

#submission: 4 publicaciones

#letter: 3 publicaciones

Longest Tag: 64 characters

#i am however certainly not the first mayhem liker to suck a dick

Mis publicaciones más populares este 2022:

5

INTERVIEW WITH DEAD, DONE BY EVIL FROM MARDUK. IT IS FROM SLAYER MAG 101994

HOW COME YOU LEFT MORBID AND MOVED TO NORWAY TO JOIN MAYHEM?

As everyone know…or should now is that Morbid never was a real band. However after the"December Moon" demo the band kinda split up. I don’t know the reason why, but we were all very different and couldn’t compromise on how Morbid should be or sound like. What’s most mysterious to me is how everybody could change so much. When I and John formed the band the band was looking for some members for the band and asked them about the thought of having a Black Metal band as Black Metal should be, but it never turned out that way. They all seemed to be totally into the idea at first, but…well…I must say that I don’t think the 2nd Morbid demo is in the same vein as the first. But why the hell do I talk about Morbid in an interview when the band never should have been featured? I talked to Euronymous on the phone and heexplained how his view of how the most brutal stage show would be and we discussed the problem that everybody wants everything to be so normal, boring and wimpy. And we totallya greed on that, I should come over and try out some rehearsals, to find out how I would fit in the band. And I guess I do fit ‘cos I’ve been singing here ever since. But the problems was that short after I joined the band we were out of rehearsal places…

 YOU HAVE SAID THAT THE “DEATHCRUSH” MLP WILL BE RELEASED AGAIN, WHAT ABOUT IT?

We want to release it again, but we just don‘t know how the hell we can afford it. It was wrong to limit it and now the copies are being sold for far too much money and that wasn’t the idea at all. Those who want it can’t get it unless they are millionaires. We will never release anything limited with Mayhem again.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR NEW LP “DE MYSTERIIS DOM SATHANAS”. WHEN WILL IT BE OUT? ANY OLD MAYHEM SONGS ON IT?

Good question…I wish I knew when! It’s planned to contain 8 tracks and to be released on D.S.P. as anti Mosh 003. When the 2nd edition of the Merciless LP has sold out and paid, the next band will go into studio (Imperator from Poland). When their 1st edition has paid we’ll go into a studio and record our LP. After the tour we have planned, if it doesn’t fuck up, we will have a session of concentrated work on the material that is missing for the LP. I can’t say muchmore about the release.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE A GIG WITH MAYHEM, WITH ALL YOUR EFFECTS?

We haven‘t had a real gig yet, 3 shows in Norway, but only one with parts of our stage show.We had some impaled pig heads, and I cut my arms with a weird knife and a crushed cokebottle. We meant to have a chainsaw, but the guy who owned it, had left when we came to go get it. That wasn’t brutal enough. Most of the people in there were wimps and I don‘t want them to watch our gigs! Before we began to play there was a crowd of about 300 in there, but in thesecond song “Necrolust” we began to throw around those pig heads. Only 50 were left, I liked that! The non-evil wimps shall listen to our music. We had a great time throwing  the heads on each other. I got angry at some idiots who had their heads up in the air, so I wiped the blood onmy arms all over again, We wanna scare those shouldn’t be at our concerts, and they will have to escape through the emergency exit with parts of their body missing, so we can have something to throw around. Some imagine for some weird reason that Death Metal is something normal and available for everyone. Unfortunately they are right… If you have seen pictures of bands like Defection, Benediction or Righteous Pigs etc. you know what I mean. If you go into an ordinary school, you will surly see half of them wearing Morbid Angel, Autopsy and Entombed shirts, and once again I will vomit! Death Black Metal is something all ordinary mortals should fear, not make into a trend! Some years ago it did not exist at all. When Morbid had it’s first gigs almost no one had heard that kind of music before. Metallica or VNA… But hopefully those who jumped on to Death Metal will leave it soon to the real people who have always listened to it. It took some years or so till the trendy HC bands jumped over to Grind. It took shorter time till Grind was out, and I hope it won’t take long before they leave Death Metal to us who do not choose music after fashion. That’s one reason for having a stage show. The wimps will not ever understand it, and I won’t explain it to them either. But they got pissed off at our shows and that is what we want. If someone doesn’t like blood and rotten flesh thrown in their face they can FUCK OFF, and that’s exactly what they do. We are trying to turn the scene back to what it once was, when no Death Metallers were wearing Adidas shit and looked totally normal. The hassle is of course to bring stuff from the slaughterhouse to gigs abroad.

Part 2

34 notas. Fecha de publicación: 17 de junio de 2022

4

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3

Could you tell us about deads logic or what he believed vampires were like??

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55 notas. Fecha de publicación: 30 de marzo de 2022

2

84 notas. Fecha de publicación: 19 de marzo de 2022

Mi publicación más popular de 2022

here are the shirts pelle wore (I couldn't find the exact shirt for some of the photos but theyre close enough)

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[the-brave-and-the-dumb]

You can call me harsh and mean but although I understand the need of escapism, posts about how informing of some horrifying events are guilt tripping into caring or how it's easier to point out antisemitism in memes than to know about real antisemitic acts during hannukah because people cannot bear horror drives me up the fucking wall.

Like, I 100% can tell you're from US, UK or some other privileged country (which doesn't mean those countries doesn't go through shit, for example poverty in UK is heartbreaking but I guess that's too much horror for you too?)

You will go crusading against cottagecore but will turn your gaze away from people losing human rights in Poland or Jewish people being harassed during their holidays because that's too much?

it's too much for us as well and yet we have to live everyday witnessing this shit, we wish to escape too and we, haha, kinda, cannot

[mottephobia-imagines]

BNHA as Hetalia Characters (Axis + Allies only)

Hahahahaaaa.. I’m still Hetalia trash 😇

—

Mirio Togata as America

I first put Denki as America but then I saw a post and now I can’t stop thinking about BTT SeroKiriKami so yeah-

Mirio and America have more things in common other than being blond, blue-eyed precious beans that need to be protected

First of- s t r o n g. They’re both canonically some of the strongest characters in their respective series despite their relatively young ages (Mirio being above some pro-hero levels despite still being in high school and America being well America lmao)

Additionally, they both have drive; they have a determination to become as strong as they possibly could, and stop at nothing to get there

Also, they love helping people! Mirio wants to save a million smiles, and America is a self-proclaimed hero (who admittedly isn’t the best but he’s trying okay)

Both of them kinda also have a hidden intelligence? Like, as in one would never think of them to be highly intelligent people because they’re so goofy and energetic

Since it’s implied that both Tamaki and Mirio game in their free time, him and America are also avid gamers (imagine them playing smash together lmao I feel like they’d break all the controllers)

Both v v competitive too (not as much as the next duo tho)- they’ll never back down from a challenge and face it head on with all their might!

Also, they’re basically the blond boy of the month but it’s every month lmao

(In my eyes they’re both cute little golden retrievers shshsjdjskal)

In conclusion, they’re sunshines who deserve the world and more

Katsuki Bakugo as England

Okay fr hear me the fuck out-

I know it’s an unlikely pair

But they have their similarities just bear with me here

Yes, I was initially going to put in Romano for Bakugo (anger issues gang)

But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that unlike Romano, he wouldn’t back away from a challenge or run at the slightest scare- Bakugo would take that shit and smother it into the ground

And while England may sometimes be portrayed as a prude gentleman type, we can’t forget his history- this man is probably one of, if not the most, ballsy countries to exist (at least back in his prime)

England is smart, calculated and cunning- how could you not be when you’ve conquered nearly the whole damn world?

He’s proud and maybe a bit too egotistical, and while lacking the anger issues and probably dead vocal cords of Bakugo, he sure as hell matches him in the pride and power aspect

Bakugo, on the other hand, is literally top of his class; boy is a nerd and has a perfect record

So he’s by no means any less smart than England, maybe a little more reckless, but he’s 16- you can’t exactly compare his mindset to a country’s

Even so he does act quickly on the battlefield, much like England assessed situations very precariously (most of the time)

Both of them would probably look an opponent dead in the eye and tell them to do it, bet you won’t pussy ass

On a lighter note tho, they’re two blond, spiky-haired tsunderes who are way to proud and smart for their own good

They also both listen to rock/punk so there’s that too

foreverfurrowedbrowclubTM

Aoyama Yuuga as France

I know I just said SeroKamiKiri is the BTT but once again hear me out

I couldn’t not put Aoyama in as France

It’s literally a match made in Heaven guys cmon

They’re both sparkling, flamboyant and fabulous blondies

Although sometimes their attitude can be interpreted as holier-than-thou, really they just know that they’re amazing and don’t care what people think (we stan confident kings 😤)

They also know that they deserve the best luxuries in life, and definitely won’t settle for anything else

In terms of courage, they’re pretty much on the same level; they get scared easily and will more than likely either back out of the challenge or give up the moment they feel tired

The difference is, France will never regain whatever bravery he had before the French Revolution, but Aoyama is slowly building his courage up in his journey to become a hero

They also take things in stride, willingly or unwillingly (whether it be an ugly outfit or a defeat, they won’t be a sore loser lmao)

While not necessarily flirty like France, Aoyama can still charm people with his whims. Also, their relationship towards people that they can’t charm kind of mirrors one another? (Might be reaching here lmao)

I do think though sometimes that Aoyama shows some similarities with Poland/2P!Romano, but he has the most similarities with France so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Toga Himiko as Russia

You may say she’s more like Belarus but nay nay I say

Belarus is the more kind of ‘stoic’ cruel in my mind; she doesn’t show much emotion besides annoyance and getting angry

Russia however

He’s ‘childishly’ cruel- looks innocent but is capable of some horrible, monstrous things.

Even though his face says otherwise, he does take some glee in torturing harming others (like, a lot)

Toga also does this, but in a much more obvious way lmao. She’s a villain, who drinks blood, there’s no doubt she hasn’t killed anyone. She also takes a lot more pleasure from hurting people than Russia does

They not that close with people, but the ones they are close to they are immensely protective of (Toga and the LOV, Russia and his sisters)

They also are capable of being highly intelligent, knowing more than what people think they know (Toga helping Twice our, and I high key headcanon Russia as a manipulative and cunning bastard who’s done many horrible things to people to get his way)

(I still love you Ivan)

I think this goes without saying but they’re really really violent

Russia just likes using his magic metal pipe of pain, and Toga likes her knives

They also have some really shitty pasts that have lead them to be who they are today

They may look cute on the outside, but they are oh so very cruel on the inside

Shota Aizawa as China

Haha, old man syndrome-

These two have more in common than you’d think

First off, they have that wisdom that comes with age, and are trying to get the younger ones to learn it (Aizawa does this better lmao)

I can totally see them complaining about ‘kids these days’ even tho they’ve done the same shit back then-

Along with wisdom comes cunning and craft. I headcanon China as a low key genius, so he’s probably on par with Aizawa, if not better (in terms of battle strategy and such)

Even though they come off as strict, all they really want is the best for their students/siblings

They’re both physically strong (China was probably once hella jacked, and Aizawa speaks for himself)

They do tire out quite easily tho so there’s that

Both have a penchant for cute animals like cats (Hello Kitty’s a cat don’t @ me)

On a darker note, they’ve both suffered losses of close friends. While China has definitely lost a lot more, Shirakumo’s ‘death’ still took a huge toll on him. Likewise, China has lost all his ancient friends over the years, making him the last one left (except turkey and Mongolia they don’t matter rn)

Tenya Iida as Germany

You cannot tell me this isn’t also a match made in heaven

They’re literally, at their very core, almost the exact same person

Iida is a stickler for rules- he follows every single one of them. Any and every. Pretty organized too, if I do say so myself

Likewise, Germany is also very strict with rules and regimens. He’s also canonically OCD so mans cannot stand messes (people or things)

It may make them seem like pains in the neck but really it’s the only way they know how to interact

Also have some angsty connections with their brothers

Although not as easily provoked as Germany, Iida can still be just as terrifying (mans tried to kill Stain I mean come on-)

As with nearly all of these characters, they’re both strong as hecc

Also, I feel like both of them are somewhat pressured by what their other family members have accomplished and want to achieve the same thing (Iida coming from a family of superheroes, and Germany really looking up to his father and brother and wanting to be like them but less yknow)

They don’t really know how to communicate well?? Like, of course they can talk and hold conversation but they have difficulty with most social interactions (it’s adorable)

More often than not the louder voice of reason within their friend group (Everyone in the Dekusquad besides Deku himself is the voice of reason lmao, and Germany is a no-nonsense kind of guy)

Smart bois (In Gakuen Hetalia, Germany is said to be one of the smartest students and tutors Italy, and Iida tries his best)

All in all very awkward and loud losers beans that need to learn how to not be so stiff lmao

Shoto Todoroki as Japan

Y’all already know I had to pair the introverts together

Calm, collected and reserved- these two mind their own business like it’s a sports championship lmao

Even though they may come off as intimidating sometimes, in reality they’re just shy and don’t really know the basics of social interaction (more than Germany and Iida lmao)

They’re both fairly strong, too (Todoroki with his icy hot quirk makes him one of the most OP characters in MHA imo, and Japan definitely doesn’t carry around a katana just for show)

Very very convoluted and not so great childhood (Think the sengoku period was Japan’s childhood so he was basically torn up as a kid while Todoroki had to deal with Endebitch)

Also both pretty smart??? Like, high key they’re both very intelligent and skilled

Both their friends are slowly helping them get out of that super duper introverted mindset, but the poor bbs are still trying to learn how to be a lot less stiffe

They’re also really into architecture esp traditional Japanese architecture (canon in both)

I honestly think they’d get along pretty well if they met, tbh

(Japan would get him into anime and manga and the bookworm in Todoroki can’t resist)

The strange circumstance of Italy

Honestly, I could not find anyone in MHA that was remotely similar to Italy

I was very close to putting in Mina or Nejire, since those two come to mind whenever I think of bright and bubbly (Maybe Kirishima too, but it just doesn’t fit)

So while those two are pretty much the most fitting I feel, they don’t completely encompass his character enough yonow?

Like, I genuinely cannot find anyone who is similar enough to compare him to

So for now, until I can find a suitable pick, Italy won’t have a MHA character to be paired up with 😔 sorry guys

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What do you guys think? Do you agree or do you think different characters should be put in place?

If this gets enough notes, I might make a part 2 including female nations and the others (or whatever characters you guys request)

Requests are still open! You can ask for edits or character imagines/headcanons!