#lds parents

[when-is-tuesday]

me when parents are being homophobic transphobic aphobic biphobic nbphobic and sexist and intersexphobic

[jilyandbambi]

so a Yellowjackets AU where mari says something to get herself kicked out of the cabin, and she dies of exposure and gets eaten at the bachanalian banquet instead of Jackie, who LIVES, who's there at Shauna's side when she goes into labor, stroking her hair and letting Shauna squeeze her hand hard enough to sprain her fingers, who keeps Shauna calm enough she has a (comparatively!!!!!!) easier delivery, who is the reason the(ir) baby lives.

who finally, after months of feeling adrift and useless because she’s not a hunter or a butcher or a prophet or a captain (anymore) finds her purpose in the wilderness. who painstaking sews patchwork baby onesies and cloth diapers from the girls' spare clothes (Offerings, not donations). who makes a baby sling from animal pelts and backpack straps. who makes a rattle from sticks and pinecones and some light blue pebbles Jackie found by the lake one day and saved. who makes sure the cabin stays warm and clean for Luke Dylan (from 90210--they couldn't decide whether to go with the actor or the character).

who builds them another shelter from blankets and animal hides after the cabin burns down. who keeps shauna and their baby warm through that first terrible winter and the one that followed.

and one day in 1998, Canadian forest rangers happen upon that American high school soccer team that went missing 2 years back. they find a group of starving teens and a baby, a little over a year old, two of the girls wrapped around him--and each other

and when the rescue team tries to separate them the one with tangled, golden brown hair bears her teeth and Growls

[acourtofladydeath]

Eris Week '24 Day 2: Childhood/Legacy

50 years after their bond snapped and 5 years after they started planning, Azriel and Eris expand their family with the help of Miri.

A nice dose of fluff on day two of @erisweekofficial to even out the day one pain dump. You can find a snippet below, start the fic from the beginning, or read the latest chapter here!

Eris paced with anxious speed across the bedroom, vial in one hand and the other tucked primly behind his back as a defense mechanism. Sweat beaded his brow, his heart beating loudly enough to be heard throughout the forest house. His asshole of a mate stood against the wall, leaning comfortably with his arms and wings folded as he chuckled.  “You have done this so many times before, what’s your hold up?” “My hold up,” Eris scoffed, “is that this means something this is… I mean…” He gestured with the vial in his hand, his eyes wild and nervous.  “The hold up is you, love,” Azriel said, his voice soft.  Instead of responding, Eris stared down the glass in his shaking hand, brows furrowed. Azriel’s hand closed around his, his finger tipping Eris’ chin up so their gazes mate. “What’s on your mind?”  “What if this is a bad idea?” Eris asked, his voice soft and hesitant He averted his gaze for the second question, terrified about Azriel’s answer. “What if I’m a bad father?” 

Keep reading here on AO3!

Thank you to @fieldofdaisiies and @chunkypossum for helping to beta this chapter and giving me the inspiration to keep moving forward with this fic.

Let me know if you want on or off the taglist! @pippsmcgee, @born-to-riot, @chunkypossum, @bubybubsters, @queercontrarian, @yanny-77, @fieldofdaisiies, @iftheshoef1tz, @secret-third-thing, @jules-writes-stories, @the-darkestminds, @climbthemountain2020

[mormonmew]

The youth speaker in church today specifically talked about our Heavenly Parents. Not just Heavenly Father, but both our Parents, and he referred to both of them throughout his talk.

Can we get more of that please? And in general I would just love to talk more specifically about Heavenly Mother at church, and not feel like I can only pray to her when I'm praying alone at home.

[loveerran]

Talking to a Trans Child

I recently had the opportunity to have lunch with @nerdygaymormon and the LDS parents of a trans-masc child I have never met (let's call him Darwin). Darwin is over the age of 18, currently living at home, and dealing with a diagnosed mental illness that can be very serious. They know Darwin is trans because the grapevine exists and some preferred name/pronouns paperwork that was left out.

I'm heartened when parents want to learn more and support their children. They know they're imperfect, inexperienced and in need of answers. They seem to be waiting for him to come out fully so they can be even more supportive. One of their central questions was how to broach the transgender topic more directly. They want more communication with their child and are committed to supporting them.

I can definitely understand Darwin's desire to avoid a conversation about trans topics with parents. I had to talk with my parents about circumstances around my birth and certain intersex related items not too long ago, and I still couldn't bring myself to tell them I am trans! It's a really difficult and vulnerable area.

So I suggested the parents try something like this

"We love you and we support you. If you don't want to talk about your gender identity with us, that's ok. We love you no matter what. We just want to open the door and let you know we are ready when you are, because we don't want you thinking we would be unsupportive of you in any way. We love you and we're here for you."

There are probably better ways to say that. What I like about this path is the way it comes with assurances of support and love, let's their child know they are on team Darwin, preserves the child's autonomy, and provides the best possible reason for opening the door to a conversation: "we don't want you to think we don't support you"

[mvshortcut]

hey. hey uh. just wondering what happened to all the children Curtain barged and brainswept. I'm assuming he didn't have a child services worker politely waiting at the dock for them. uh. where did they go.

[thebunnylord]

🎶If you thought that doing a cute art piece on your iPad with your characters during general conference so you would sit still and listen to the talks was a good idea clap your hands!

🎶if you found a beautiful scenic canyon landscape picture that you wanted to draw featuring some characters from an old fandom was going to be easy clap your hands! 🎶

🎶if you’re perfectionism got in the way and you couldn’t make the canyons look like canyons even when you used a lasso tool and you spent all of conference trying to get the canyons look right but you just can’t seem to get your hands to cooperate, all while you’re fretting over on whether or not the gas stove is on because your parents had to clean the knobs, and you don’t know if you’ve taken your ocd pills, and eventually you just give up on the painting. Clap your hands!🎶

[moontropy]

i don’t think LD sleeps vs LD getting woken up at 3am by an ominously hovering toddler kid with freak eyes like “father. i have thrown up.” and LD being like oh what the fuck.

[miss-nerd-alert]

“No program can replace the influence of loving, covenant-keeping adults.”

— Michael T. Nelson

[2pen2wildfire]

Sometimes I just have to sit there while my mom explains that the Mormon church's belief that people were "cursed" with dark skin is actually not racist somehow cuz you see it was just a way to visually distinguish between the people that followed God and those who didn't and that's definitely not a racist idea at all nope not even a little bit 🙄

[popcorn-plots]

when your parents say that there are a lot of things they push you towards and want you to excel at except for Tuesday nights, which is the day you go to Encircle writer's night, where Encircle is literally a place where queer people in Utah can go and feel safe and be loved and find a scene of community they might not be able to find in Utah (at least that's how I see it) and it's also one of the only places you've actually been welcomed into and found people like you, and one of the first places you've actually fit in that you didn't create yourself... plus it's helping you grow as a writer and a person

and they don't like me going there because I'm "feeding the wolf" and "leaning into my 'other side'" of my identity as a queer person because it's "gay" and "indoctrinating me" and they don't think I can explore myself and my identity in that way while also having a strong testimony and being a part of the LDS church

and then they expect me to come to them when I don't feel safe or welcomed or loved

[diabolicflame93]

Was it a Choice?

The pressure fundamentalist children and college age adults face in fundamentalism. And the how family and faith can influence your choices.

I’d like to go back and revisit a couple of ideas that I’ve touched on in the past. I had someone reach out to me and point me towards a recent newspaper article about Ballerina Farms.1 She also commented that a good subject line for a potential post would be “Fundamentalism and the Illusion of Choice.”2 If you haven’t read the The Times article it discusses “Ballerina Farms” and the life of the…

[nobodysdaydreams]

I have to comment on the subtle way TMBS uses Curtain’s father relationship with SQ to show the contrast between him and Curtain in the books.

I love the books and the tv show, and I think both sets of characters are fantastic. However, in some cases, they are different characters and Curtain is a great example (from a character writing standpoint and also literally, Nathaniel Benedict and his backstory with Nicholas are not in the books). But what really sells it for me is how Curtain treats his son in the few scenes we do see and the few things we know about their relationship. 1) Show Curtain actually adopts SQ. In the books he comes to care about him, but he would never take the step of openly considering him family, even though it would have almost guaranteed book SQ’s loyalty. This version of Curtain does adopt SQ despite his vulnerability trigger. (I won’t get too into my “Curtain/Garrison/Milligan/SQ’s dad were friends that fell apart theory” cause that’s a whole other thing but click here to start that rabbit hole). 2) Show Curtain doesn’t involve SQ in his work. Book Curtain uses SQ as an executive/messenger, puts him in the whisperer and repeatedly wipes his memory to keep him by his side. Show SQ was not an executive or messenger (in fact he has no idea what his dad does) and so far has shown no signs of being brain swept. Even in season 2, when Marlon asks if SQ can come back for the next stage and Curtain says no, we as the audience assume this implies SQ has already been given the “happiness” but what if Curtain’s refusal to bring SQ back was actually him preventing SQ from taking the artificial happiness? (They didn’t get the actor back so I guess we’ll never know).

3) Show Curtain encourages SQ’s artistic talent. I’ve seen a lot of fics where Curtain resents that SQ is artistic and wishes he were “smart”, but if you watch the show, Curtain doesn’t do that. He does art projects with his son, he has rules about him going to the forest to paint but he still lets him go, and when Garrison interrupts Curtain, he doesn’t snap at SQ to do his homework, he suggests his son sketch, an activity he knows SQ enjoys. It would be easy to have a scene of Curtain admonishing SQ for his grades or not appreciating his art, but instead the writers chose to put in scenes showing the opposite.

4) When Reynie gives Curtain a narcoleptic seizure in the season 1 finale, it’s SQ that really sets him off. At first Curtain tries to mock what Reynie says: “I don’t think I’m a bad person either who thinks that?/“ok this is embarrassing”, but once he mentions SQ, Curtain gets visibly uncomfortable like “oh he went there oh no” and goes “okay, that’s enough that’s enough”, and realizes that he is losing this fight.

5) Finally, yes, we do see that Curtain is a bad father to SQ. I’m not denying that. The man deserves to be nailed by a golf cart. But: the main times when we see Curtain being a bad parent have a pattern: they occur when SQ is in danger of discovering who Curtain really is. The first is when he asks to bring Reynie to the forest. Curtain panics, realizing Reynie might be working for Nicholas, and now he’s forming a friendship with his son. Telling SQ that Reynie is using him was cruel and SQ is clearly devastated. SQ shows an awareness that his father speaks to others that way (he sees how his father speaks to Garrison) but might not be used to his father speaking to him that way which is why he takes it so badly. Then there’s when Curtain interrogates SQ, asking if he took a friend to the forest/if Reynie is really his friend, and SQ throws back in his face the “right cause who’d be friends with me” line and openly lies to him. Book Curtain would have at least called him out, or much worse. Show Curtain doesn’t, even though he knows his son is lying. Whether it’s because he’s scared his son is turning against him or because he’s ashamed of what he said to SQ earlier (“how many friends have you had”?) or because he doesn't want his son to be more suspicious, we can only speculate. Finally, SQ confronts Curtain about the antennas after finding Reynie’s letter and refuses to tell his dad about his conversation with Reynie. At this point, Curtain doesn’t know how much his son knows or what he will do. He could brain-sweep him. He could yell and tell SQ to never disrespect him again. Instead, he handles it in kind of a weird way where he admits to being under stress and having clouded judgment (which is a very rare moment of vulnerability and emotional awareness not just from Curtain, but from any abusive parent) and asks his son to please leave, though rather forcefully. Obviously, comparing him to book Curtain puts the bar on the floor and show Curtain was still horrible and should have told the truth, but the other negative alternative ways to handle that situation (Book Curtain’s torture and brain sweeping) would have been so much worse.

One of the most interesting aspects is how Show Curtain compartmentalized his son and his work so much that they became totally separate and how little SQ knows since he’s not working as a messenger or executive. SQ, on his end, has likely seen the way his father treats others, but work stresses out a lot of people, some people are ruthless in their careers but are good parents, he probably wishes his dad was different so he could have friends (because every other kid at the institute has to be controlled by Curtain, or at least is striving to please him at all times, which prevents genuine friendships), but his dad never does those things to him or at least not to that extent. So as long as SQ never talks to his dad about work (in his mind: “because it stresses him out”), his dad will never treat him the way he treats everyone else and since SQ has never know anything else, life seems alright to him. It’s only when Reynie starts pointing out Curtain’s flaws that SQ questions him and starts to see that maybe there’s more going on.

This could also explain SQ’s season 2 absence. SQ was on the boat, he knows how his dad screwed Garrison over. His biological father used to work for his dad. And SQ will never know whether Curtain screwed his biological dad over like he did Garrison, because Curtain will never be vulnerable enough to tell him the truth. Meanwhile, Curtain also realizes that his son is now curious about his work, and keeping his double life and his son would involve going a step beyond lies/gaslighting and doing the things book Curtain did to his SQ and show Curtain so far has been unwilling to do that. So SQ now has a motivation to leave and Curtain has a motivation to let him go: SQ can’t trust his father after what Reynie told him/what he did to Garrison and the only way Curtain can make SQ stay is by forcing him or messing with his free will/memories and so far he has refused to do that, at least that we know of (granted Curtain could have also told SQ the truth and voluntarily changed his ways, but after lying for so long, SQ might have chosen to leave anyway).

Curious to hear people’s thoughts on this, I really hope they work it into the season 3 plot. (Currently pulling for the “sister kidnaps SQ at art college” theory)

Ok rant over.

[ldcurtain]

Parenting tip: While it is difficult to lie to your children, sometimes it is necessary to do so, for their own good and their own protection. Children's minds are delicate, and it's best not to burden them with the knowledge of the things you are required to do to give them a good life.

Of course, it goes without saying that this only applies to the parent/child dynamic. Lying to and breaking promises made to other family members, such as siblings, is inexcusable. People who do that sort of thing absolutely disgust me.

[lith-myathar]

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[void-tiger]

…my dream is still to have 2+ cats, let Merlin finally be nearly cage-free when I’m around and fully embrace being a funky lil guy, a rabbit, large cage/aviary of finches, and a pair of budgies.

All in my own place made cozy with curtains and blankets and cushions and suncatchers scattering prismatic rainbows and smelling like a well-used spice rack and hot drinks and cozy foods. Please come visit me. Coo at my pets. Drink hot cocoa and tea and virgin mulled cider while playing games or watching movies while snuggled under a pile of softness and no less than one critter with me.