#let him say british swears it would be so funny

[kuravix]

"I saved your ass."

"No I saved your arse!"

Ysjvgdg they let Sanji be full on British. He's gonna be yelling at every passing ship's steering skills and driving Nami insane by pointing out every single change in the weather.

[5sospenguinqueen]

Emotional Range Of A Teaspoon | Pierre Gasly

Summary: What right does he have to feel angry at the sight of Y/N and Charles? The answer is none. After all, she's only his best friend. Isn't she?

Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Fluff. Jealousy. One suggestive comment

No faceclaim but British reader. 2024 timeline

F1 Masterlist

Requested: Yes (sorry it's a little late)

This one actually comes with a tiny text paragraph mid-way through

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Replies to @ PierreGASLY

Charles_Leclerc c’mon mate, it’s only been two days 

→ PierreGASLY a whole lifetime 

→ ItsYN i can’t even remember what you look like 

→ Charles_Leclerc and the people say that i am the dramatic one 

AlpineF1Team think you can channel that pain into some points this weekend?

→ PierreGASLY why aren’t you taking my pain seriously 

→ AlpineF1Team do you want us to schedule you an appointment with the counsellor?

→ ItsYN i don’t think that counsellor gets paid enough to listen to him

User1 ouch, talk about friendzoned 

→ User2 no, no, they’re in the denial stage of their friends to lovers arc

Replies to @ ItsYN

PierreGASLY i can still hear your voice

→ PierreGASLY although i’m glad you’re not making me suffer through the lost boys again

→ ItsYN okay first off, you love that movie. and second, because of that, i’m telling everyone you cried watching cars 3

→ PierreGASLY traitor!

→ LiamLawson30 as any man would!

Charles_Leclerc don’t worry y/n, i’ll have movie night with you 

→ ItsYN are you going to make me watch harry potter again?

→ Charles_Leclerc yes..?

→ ItsYN @ PierreGASLY come back please 

Replies to @ Charles_Leclerc

User3 not charles tweeting this the day after the canadian gp. y/n missed the canadian gp and you can tell poor charles had to hear all about it 

ItsYN we all know i would be the soldier and pierre would be the doting housewife crying on the platform 

→ PierreGASLY and i would look radiant doing so

Max33Verstappen he wouldn’t shut up about her during the driver’s parade. i tried to walk off and he followed me!

→ PierreGASLY i was in the middle of a sentence!

→ danielricciardo mate you know it’s bad when yapstappen needs you to stop talking

ItsYN stop talking about me. you're making it sound like we're friends

→ Charles_Leclerc excuse me but you know you want to be my bestie

→ PierreGASLY you can’t have her. she’s mine. i saw her first. shotgun or whatever you monagasques say for dibs 

→ GeorgeRussell63 actually i saw her first; her brother was my teammate when we were kids so 

→ PierreGASLY and just for that, i’m unfollowing you 

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Replies to @ CHICKEN!!

User4 whoever took this photo needs to go straight to jail. not y’all making it seem like charles and y/n are a sneaky item

User5 i knew she was shady, talking about how she couldn't make it only to end up in the winning driver’s garage 

PierreGASLY oh 

→ User6 wait no, pierre, come back. look at other tweets about this please

User7 stop being a shit stirrer. he’s literally got his other arm wrapped around alex ‘cause he was guiding the two of them through a ton of fans but that’s conveniently been cropped out 

Replies to @ BRAKKEEE

User8 i can’t believe people were trying to convince us ynarles was real when it’s clearly ynex

User9 love that charles was literally only there to keep them safe from fans and after that they were like ‘you’re done babe. now we run off into the sunset’ 

User10 watching him chase after them was so funny tho because he was literally yelling “let me play too” 

Replies to @ ItsYN

User11 oh no, we’re so sorry. we were just so happy to see you 

→ User12 yeah and pierre would’ve been happy to see her as well if you hadn’t blasted her all over the internet 

→ User13 pierre didn't exactly look all that happy though. he wouldn’t stop glaring at poor charles  

→ User12 maybe because you guys made it seem like his best friend lied to him to be with charles

Thumb aimlessly swiping at the screen of his phone, Pierre scanned the tweets as they passed, making note of a cute waffle shop in Monaco that he knew Y/N would love. Nothing of note appeared to have been posted as most of the Grid were waiting to hear where Sainz had signed. Hand halting, Pierre’s eyes flickered across the screen once. Twice. And then a third time just to be sure. His last message to Y/N had gone unanswered and now there was a picture of her on Twitter, claiming to be from today. With Charles’ arm around her. His teeth sank into his bottom lip, and a derisive scoff filled his driver’s room. What happened to being unable to book the time off work, he thought bitterly to himself. Instead she was in the Paddock with a red-clad arm wrapped around her. Before he could restrain himself, he had clicked on the ‘reply’ button. A knock at the door pulled him from his downward spiral, preventing him from looking further into the comments gushing about how cute his best friend and closest F1 friend looked as a couple. 

“Pierre, time to warm up.”

“D’accord.”

He locked his phone before dumping it onto the massage table, storming out of his driver’s room, unaware that if he had scrolled down another two posts, he would’ve seen a picture of Y/N with Alexandra and a tweet from the woman herself. 

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ItsYN just posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, estebanocon and others

ItsYN an amazing weekend in barcelona watching my best friend do his thing and achieve some well-deserved points. a huge thank you to charles and alex for helping me sneak into the paddock last-minute tagged: pierregasly, charles_leclerc and alexandrasaintmleux 

553 comments

alpinef1team our favourite things rolled into one post 

→ ItsYN mine too! 

→ User1 sis, get off the floor 

estebanocon should i be offended that you wearing my cap didn’t make the post 

→ ItsYN shh i can’t have my people thinking i have friends other than pear 

danielricciardo PIERRE GASSLLLYYYYY

→ ItsYN go thirst over him on his posts. my insta is a 310 free zone

→ danielricciardo just admit that you’re jealous of our love and move on

→ ItsYN was he publicly crying over missing YOU? i don’t think so 

→ danielricciardo that’s because i’m a better friend than you and i’ve been here the whole time

→ ItsYN blocked 

alexandrasaintmleux thank you for trusting me with the surprise! 

→ ItsYn thank you for being so wonderful and helping 🩷 (and stopping charles from throttling me)

→ charles_leclerc it’s because you wouldn’t stop saying thank you and asking me if i was “sure that it’s no bother” to help you 

→ It’sYN sorry for being considerate! 

User2 not to be that person but has anyone else noticed that pierre hasn’t commented?

→ User3 i'm getting the feeling that, despite all his online complaining, he wasn’t overly excited to see his best friend this weekend? 

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User4 not the f1wags posting her, they know the truth

→ User5 what truth. it doesn’t look they’re even friends anymore

User7 it’s the way she looks like she’s trying to explain/talk to him and he’s just yelling at her 

→ User8 i used to root for them to get together but now that he’s yelled at her :/

User9 y/n is stronger than me because if a man pointed his finger like that at me, i’d savagely bite it off 

User10 uh, who does he think he is talking to y/n l/n that way

User11 i bet it’s because he thought y/n was there for charles and got jealous 

→ User12 i’ve connected the dots

→ User13 you ain’t connected shit

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User14 idk which one i want to be more

→ User15 that’s because you want to be their third instead 

User16 i’m thirsty. anyone else thirsty

LandoNorris oh god my eyes

→ danielricciardo this is why you should stop looking at x rated things on the internet 

→ User17 what happened to your pr training?

→ Charles_Leclerc what happened to pierre’s?

User18 if only he could transfer this kind of passion onto the track 

User19 uh, the clarity of the third one?? did admin take this and then leak it online? 

→ AlpineF1Team i'm afriad that we’re finding out along with you guys but we’re not gonna pretend like we weren’t rooting for this 

ItsYN why am i trending on twitter?

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ItsYN just posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe and others

ItsYN my little pain au chocolat 💕

845 comments

pierregasly we talked about you calling me pastries 

→ ItsYn yes, we did. and i didn’t take into account anything you said

→ pierregasly you are very lucky you're cute

→ ItsYN it's gotten me far in life

User1 talk about a hard launch

→ User2 they weren’t really given the choice considering they were caught snogging all over barcelona last weekend

alpinef1team pierre repping the alpine colours 

→ ItsYN release your chokehold on my man

→ alpinef1team no, you release your chokehold on our man 

→ ItsYN what happened to being supportive of this?

→ alpinef1team that was before all he did was yap about you!

lilymhe babe, this isn’t you. get up and come back to me 

→ ItsYN i’m sorry but i don’t think i can come back from this 

→ lilymhe what about us, what about everything we’ve been through

→ ItsYN you know i never wanted to hurt you

→ alex_albon @ pierregasly guess i’ll be seeing you at the next karaoke marathon 

→ pierregasly only if you sing breaking free with me

→ ItsYN this is why i love you

landonorris let’s take a moment for our fallen soldier… we lost an honourable brit to a french man

→ pierregasly it’s not my fault that i have charm and you don’t 

→ danielricciardo i didn’t realise charm meant having a tantrum when she asks your friend for help to surprise you 

→ pierregasly we agreed not to speak of that! 

→ ItsYN i don’t think you’re living this one down, macaron

charles_leclerc can you tell him to put his clothes back on, please

→ ItsYN i tried but he seems incapable of keeping them on around me

→ pierregasly charles is just jealous of my amazing physique 

→ charles_leclerc best you not talk about jealousy 

User4 @ ItsYN i love that they’ve not had a chance to pr train you yet

→ ItsYN never! 

User5 and they called me crazy when i said friends to lovers! 

→ ItsYN tbf hun, so did we. it took us a minute

→ User6 so pierre is slow on and off the track 

→ pierregasly hey! 

pierregasly just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, yukitsunoda0511 and others

pierregasly from movie nights to drunken karaoke, i would go on any adventure with you 

1,454 comments

ItsYN my best friend and my love 

→ alexandrasaintmleux i thought i was your best friend 

→ ItsYN i’m not allowed to post shirtless pics of you online though

→ charles_leclerc no you are not! 

→ User7 i hope pr never got ahold of her

→ alpinef1team she has an appointment with them on thursday

yukitsunoda0511 is this what they call simping?

→ pierregasly no

→ ItsYN yes

maxverstappen1 does this mean you’ll stop talking about her during driver’s parades?

→ pierregasly no 

→ yukitsunoda0511 he’ll just stop talking about whether she’s interested in any of us 

→ ItsYN he did that?

→ pierregasly no!

→ maxverstappen1 yes, the latest victim was logan

→ charles_leclerc actually i was the latest victim, and i will remain the most famous. my jealousy era is forever captured on the internet 

→ logansargeant @ pierregasly is that why you kept asking me what i thought about her?

landonorris you guys are kinda cute when you’re not yelling at her 

→ ItsYN please stop saying this. i'm the one who has to listen to him apologise over and over for the millionth time

→ pierregasly because i feel bad! 

→ ItsYN omg i know! 

danielricciardo mate, we get it. she’s your girl now but you can let go of her for two seconds. she’s not going to disappear

→ pierregasly it’s called a healthy attachment

→ ItsYN he says whilst cuddled into my neck and following me to the bathroom

lilymhe she’s so hot, drop me her @ please

→ pierregasly back off

→ ItsYN i’m right here bby girl. let me take out on a date 

→ charles_leclerc careful lily or he might start yelling at you next 

alpinef1team we’ve been asked by an anonymous source that you all refrain from discussing previous events. reparations have been made and it’s been advised that such an event remain in the past 

→ danielricciardo lol he ran to mom

→ landonorris anonymous source, my ass. just tag him

→ georgerussell63 this is so lame

→ alex_albon mate, this is more obvious than pierre’s jealousy 

→ charles_leclerc even i cannot support him through this 

→ ItsYN i love you, my little croissant, but i cannot pretend that this is normal

→ pierregasly ultimate betrayal

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Sorry if this wasn’t angst enough. Humour and fluff are more my forte.

As always, F1 requests open for the current grid and retired drivers.

Tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury

(A huge thank you to both of you for wanting to be added to all f1 posts. It means a lot)

[jinnie-ret]

skz with a 9th member who grew up in england so sometimes they use slang they dont understand or sometimes their british accent gets really strong when theyre tired or drunk and the boys think its funny.

it's a brit thing

stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)

genre: fluff

content warnings: swearing, alcohol mentions

word count: 1.2k

summary: the boys find it hard to understand their british member a lot of the time...

Hi! Sorry for such a late response to your ask! Loved writing this one! Love to my fellow British Stays. Also I love a Yorkshire accent, just putting that out there haha...

As always, like, reblog if you enjoyed, and my asks are open for any requests you may have. And let me know if you'd like to be tagged when I post :)

MAIN MASTERLIST

aka five times the real brit in y/n appeared

1) tired

You were tired, so tired. After a long flight back from LA to Seoul, all you wanted to do was get back to the dorms and go to sleep. Just simply get out of the airport, get into the cars, and listen to some music before ultimately entering a calm, unconscious state.

Yet with the experience of the paparazzi and screaming fans awaiting you, your plans were ruined. They swarmed you, and even as you formed your usual chain amongst the rest of the members and your security it didn't stop the flash of the cameras blaring in your face and fans getting too handsy.

Other times it would overwhelm you but this time it was just annoying. You would say you were just agitated, but the boys thought you were grumpy.

"Oh no, she's grumpy," Seungmin teased from beside you as you squeezed into the back between him and Changbin.

"Fucking twats the lot of them," you grunted in English, digging through your backpack for your airpods as your northern British accent came out.

"That wasn't Korean but I'm not entirely sure that was English either..." Changbin said with wide eyes, only vaguely recognising the swear word and nothing else.

"Chan can you translate?" Jeongin asked curiously, watching as you entered a calmer state when you started playing music.

"Basically she's annoyed at the paps and fans," Chan laughed after translating what you said.

"T-twateu?" Jeongin tested out, and your music just happened to go silent before changing to the next song, meaning you heard what he said.

"You what?!?"

2) vlive

It was time for your bimonthly vlive, which Stays managed to guess when you'd go live, getting used to your system of interacting with them.

"There aren't really a lot of British idols out there, are there?" you chatted with the fans, face near the screen as your eyes squinted to read the comments, forgetting to wear your glasses.

"Haha! Yes Han is our honorary British member," you laughed as you read the comments, hand going over your mouth.

"Wait doesn't Jennie from Blackpink speak with a British accent?" you double checked you theory with the fans, letting out a successful cheer when they confirmed your thoughts.

"Yes!!! Up the Brits! There are too many Aussies I swear..."

"Teach us some British phrases? Okay hmmm, what can I teach my Stays?" you wondered, tapping your chin comically.

"You can say 'I'm gutted', which means you're really upset about something, like you're so sad you feel it in your gut. Or, 'I'm knackered', which means you're tired. Or you're 'pissed off', which means you're angry," you explained to the Stays, frowning when they started saying you sweared on vlive, the staff now staring at you awkwardly.

"Ani, ani, no, no," you pointed to the camera, fake scolding the fans, "I don't think it's swearing, right?"

3) drunk

You and the boys had been out drinking, celebrating the promotions for Case 143. And let's just say, you had a few too many, at least you weren't the only one.

"I'm fucking hammered mate," you slurred, stumbling into Minho who wrinkled his nose at your alcohol breath as all 8 of you walked home from the bar.

"Hammered?" Han asked curiously, his doe eyes somehow more apparent in his intoxicated state.

"Like tkk tkk?" Hyunjin tested, pretending to hammer a nail as he recognised the tool name.

"I'm trollied, I'm so out of it, mate," you giggled, facepalming yourself, well, you thought you did and then realised you accidentally smacked Felix in the face, collapsing on the ground in a fit of giggles.

"Y/Nnie, get uppppp," Felix groaned, rubbing his face drunkenly as he tried to pull you up.

"She's speaking nonsense," Jeongin said with wide eyes.

"Not until you can understand me," you poked Felix in the chest with each word.

"Yah, you're so touchy tonight, Y/N," Changbin laughed at your slow yet somehow affectionate movements as he and Chan lifted you up, you clinging onto their arms for balance.

"That makes me sound so noncey," it was your turn to wrinkle your nose.

"No one can understand you right now, and we are fluent in English," Chan laughed as he supported most of your weight and gestured to Felix next to him.

"I'm too wankered," you groan, now feeling the headache set in and just wanting to be in bed.

"Woah, what did she say?" Seungmin pulled a confused face, his features scrunching up.

"She's uncontrollable," Minho said bemusedly.

4) school memories

In a new episode of SKZ Code, they were all back to school, dressed in different school uniforms.

"Why is Y/N's uniform so different?" Han pointed out.

"It's cute, though," Hyunjin cooed.

"This is what we'd wear," you do a cute spin in your dark green checkered dress, white socks, dolly shoes and bows in your hair. Of course, you wore a green cardigan with it, representing the colour of the uniform designated by your primary school.

Then you went onto other school experiences, and the boys were interested to hear about how yours differed.

"And then, around Easter time, we'd sing a song like this. 'One mother hen sat on four little eggs'," you began singing, doing actions alongside that you remember being taught by your teachers.

"'Keeping them warm in her little egg nest, then one day she heard a crack!'" you widened your eyes as you mimicked the egg cracking with your hands, the boys giggled at this.

"'And a little voice said as the egg was hatched... I'm a spring chicken! I'm yellow and small...'" you sang the song, the mood becoming more joyful as the boys clapped in time for you and you stood doing the actions.

"'Chicken, I'm a chicken! And I'm having a ball!'" you excitedly finished, a big grin present on your face as you flapped your 'wings'.

"Wahh, that's too cute, surely?" Changbin thought it was adorable, copying the last line.

"Maybe Y/N should replace Bbokari!" Lee Know smirked.

"No!" Felix yelled out laughing, hand over his heart.

You carried on reflecting on your experiences.

"Or at our schools we'd be sorted into different coloured houses," you informed everyone.

"Harry Potter! Harry Potter!" Seungmin cheered.

"Woah, so you went to Hogwarts?" Jeongin gasped, a playful look on his face.

"No, I was in yellow house," you I formed, folding your arms.

"Hufflepuff!" Chan pointed at you.

"Noooo," you shook your head, gosh, how did you deal with them on a daily basis?

5) accent

Y/N was on the phone, talking to her friends from back home.

"The British accent really is... woah," Felix whispered to Hyunjin who nodded.

"So pretty," he added on.

"It's kinda, sexy?" Han wiggled his eyebrows, trying to copy what you were saying.

Ah yes, the Y/N simp line, back at it again.

This was all caught on a SKZ talker, and British stays had a field day with it in the comments.

Why is it so funny that the boys think a broad Yorkshire accent is sexy

The boys think it sounds pretty? I'm flying to Seoul rn brb or maybe not

I just googled how to be Y/N

Y/N got bitches but no one here notices me and we literally sound the same lmao, tough times

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain

[bloodybreakupscene]

I had sent a request like yesterday- and AAA IM SO HAPPY TO SEE IT DONE ALREADY!! IT WAS SO CUTE >^<

I had another idea, cause my brain has been absolutely filled with different thoughts! Once again, earth 1610! Miles morales- but this time with a very well off partner who tends to spoil him alot. Like gift after gift, as soon as Miles is saying he likes or wants something- they're getting it for him!!

It's just something they really enjoy doing and they love seeing the smiles they get from Miles when he sees the gifts!!

-> 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐇.

miles morales x reader

-> u like to buy ur cutie patootie bf miles expensive gifts and he's like aw :(

-> btw guys i do other characters LOL i kinda wanna try writing for hobie!! i've been trying to research british slang but i can't stop laughing (it's the AMERICAN 🤓🇺🇲🔥🔫 in me i swear)

you and your boyfriend miles were walking along the streets of brooklyn, occasionally stopping for snacks or to observe the stores placed amongst each other. you held his hand and he held yours. this was just another after school thing you two would do.

". . . and when i walked in he was wearing my shoes! like what the hell man." miles ranted, slightly shifting the story because if he told you what actually happened he'd reveal his identity as spiderman, and that wasn't a path he wanted to go down just yet.

"pfft, that's funny. you know, if it bothers you so much i could just buy you another pair of shoes." you reply, nonchalantly.

"huh? no way! that's your money, besides, you already bought me enough stuff."

"i gifted you stuff," you corrected, before joking once more, "you deserve it anyway! i mean, c'mon miles be grateful."

"i am grateful! i just feel bad, you know, they're all so expensive." he defends.

"name ONE gift that was expensive."

"the ohuhu marker set!"

it was miles' birthday and you were at his dorm for a small celebration, just the two of you [ ganke left because he didn't wanna third-wheel. ] so, you two were just sitting on the floor as he opened the carefully wrapped gift.

"so, how's being fifteen so far?" you make small talk, while a pit of happiness boils inside of you as you can't wait for his reaction to the gift you got him.

"totally fun. can't wait to do adult stuff." he laughs, and just as he finishes his sentence he sees a black bag with markers in them, specifically 216 markers. it was a set that cost roughly $170.00.

"oh my god!" he stands up, that's the reaction hoped for, "these are so cool." he rushes to pull you up, kissing you on your lips, holding a side of your face with his hand.

"how much were they?"

"don't worry! it's your birthday you deserve it." you pull him into your arms, embracing him.

"i looked it up when you left and they were almost $200!"

"you're worth more than $200 miles."

"aw," he leans his head on your shoulder as you both continue to walk down the street. "wait! what about that other time, when you got me a camera.”

it was summer time, you and miles walked into a random electronics store. as you both observed the different assortments of cameras, miles picked one of them up, a small, old digicam.

"my uncle used to have one of these." he says, as he moves the camera around in his hand to look at the many details on the camcorder. over the few months you've been dating, you noticed the admiration he had for his uncle, he even mentioned going down under the subway tracks to graffiti on the walls.

"do you wanna get it?"

"nah, it's $40. let's go get lunch, i'm starving."

"wait! but you like it right? i could get it for you, if you want."

"what! no way, i should be the one spoiling you." he wraps his arm around your waist.

you both eventually walked out the store, but later, for christmas that year, you gave it him as an early gift. miles felt like crying, not a sad cry, more like, 'i've never felt more appreciated in my life i love you so much' kind of cry. he couldn't stop hugging and kissing you that day.

"the camera was a gift for both of us." you rolled your eyes, "i just gave it to you to hold, indefinitely!"

miles gives you a look, "whatever, you know i'd love anything you give me, regardless of price."

[sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover]

Chris sturniolo -focus

Pairing -domChris x British reader fem

Summary -When you decide to show your boyfriend you favourite British show , he gets bored and decides to test how good you can focus .

Warnings - smut , swearing , fingering, unprotected sex, p x v intercourse , slightly Dom Chris ,Dirty talking ,bulge kink , cream pie , praising,multiple orgasms.mentions of spanking , mentions of rough sex , mentions of masturbation. Thats all I think let me know guys if I've missed anything.

Author note -use of y/n , first person and not proofread .

Word count -2k

"Chrisss it's starting" I shout to my boyfriend of 1 year , dragging out his name while he leaves his bathroom and makes his way over to the bed."I don't get why you love this show so much ain't it just about people baking" he replies to me as he lifts the thick blue quilt up so he can get into bed , allowing the cold air to hit my side I'm instantly overwhelmed by warmth as Chris lays beside me ."oh no it's so much more then just people baking , it's a competition , it's entertaining and most importantly it's funny when things go wrong" I say with overenthusiastic excitement describing my favourite show ' the great British bake off' ."sounds like it's even more sterotypically British then you are , what are they going to do in the breaks eat fish and chips with the queen" he says with a awful fake British accent laughing "babe the queen is dead" I say shocked by his choice of words "oh shit yeah" he says linking an arm around my waist as i roll onto my side facing the laptop , I feel Chris make himself comfortable behind me spooning me from behind with my back against his chest .I press play on the screen.

The theme song starts to play and I do my basic girl thing ofo doing a happy little dance eating a deep chuckle from Chris ."you and this show I'm starting to think you love it more then you love me" he whispers in my ear giving me a quick kiss onto my neck."hmmm possibly" I say with a smirk on my face winding him up .*wack* "oh really" Chris says smug as he smacks my ass i can almost hear the smirk in his voice.Resulting in a squeal and laugh from me .We watch the first quarter of the show in a comfortable silence as the adverts start I hear a sigh from Chris as his deep breath hits the back of my neck causing me have instant goosebumps.

He shuffles behind me so that his head is higher up then mine , bits of his hair tickling my cheek "you know what" he says with his voice in a deep whisper I can't help but feel butterflies in my stomach ."you look so beautiful right now" he says kissing my forehead .I feel my face get hot as I blush at his compliment " good job it's dark in here or you'd see me looking more red then a embarrassed lobster but thank you , you look beautiful too" I move my head so that I can reach his lips and I meet them with a light kiss , that both Chris and I smile into .We hear the show begin again so we both draw our attention back to it .

*5 minutes later*

We're still silent as we continue to watch the show when I feel Chris hand move under the waistband of the grey joggers of his that Im wearing, I try to focus on his laptop but the feeling of Chris's rough hands against the peachy flesh of my ass is slightly distracting."hmmm you're so warm mama" Chris talks into my ear more to himself then me.He rubs my ass cheek with his hand and I get deja vu from last time his hand rubbed my ass was last week when he caught me touching myself, Chris decided to teach me a lesson by spanking me and rubbing my ass to sooth me ."I must be that hot " I joke to him pretending to flick my hair , earning a laugh from him .I feel his hand start to move over my hip and close to my exposed core , causing me to let a small whimper of anticipation earning yet another laugh from chris."what are you doing y/n?" He whispers into my ear so innocently as if he doesn't know what he's doing .I keep my mouth shut knowing that the next noise that falls out of my mouth would be a moan ."answer me baby girl" chris says in a demanding tone ."trying to focus" i say through a breath to him ."shall we see how good you can focus mama" he says seductively "what do you me-" im cut off when his hand lands on my pussy with a quick smack."keep focusing on the laptop baby girl and you can cum and if you dont well take a wild guess who isn't coming tonight" He says to me finishing his sentence with another wack to my pussy , I nod my head signaling to chris that i understand."good girl" i hear him say as his fingers move up and down my slit getting coated in my juices ."so wet for me already and ive barely touched you" chris says causing a moan to fall out of my mouth .

"Please Chris , please" I say between breathless moans ."awe what is it baby" he says to me in a mocking tone "please just so something" I respond "well since you asked so nicely" he says in the same mocking tone as his fingers find my clit rubbing in quick circles I throw my head back against his shoulder as the instant ecstacy builds with every move of Chris's fingers "remember focus baby else you're not cumming tonight" he reminds me as my legs start to quiver around his hand."fuck..." I moan out closing my eyes thankfully that Chris was still behind me else he would of reminded me again to focus ."you're so good Chris" I squeal out "look at you already on the brink of cumming and I've not even went inside of you yet" I hear Chris say , sounding distant as I feel my release coming fast "please Chris please I need to cum I'm gonna cum" I say throw pants and moans ."go on baby be a good girl and cum" he says into my ear as his fingers move faster then they was previous as I feel my release overwhelm my body as I'm left a shaking , moaning mess while Chris continues rubbing my clit as he helps me ride through my orgasm ."so good mama , you look so pretty when you cum" he says as he pauses his movements "you're so pretty you're going to do it again " he continues all the attempt of focus has gone out the window as one of Chris's arms reach over me slamming the laptop shop his fingers that are still rest on my clit dives straight into my pussy as he pushes one into earning a instant moan " so tight baby even after I've already made you cum once you're tight" he says to himself more then me as he pushes a second finger in , plowing me he starts of deep and slow as his pace speeds up .The sound of my pussy wetness filling the room , Chris's fingers move so fast and so deep I can hear him talk to me but no words make sense I can't even place words myself I just have moans and whispers falling from my mouth as my second orgasm of the night builds up faster then the first one did ."so wet baby I can feel you clenching around me , do you wanna cum girl" he asks me hypothetically "yes god yes please Chris can I cum" the words leave my mouth in a embarrassing whining sound.Chris uses his spare hand to spread my shaking thighs as they try to close around his fingers , "gotta stretch you out ready to take my cock" I hear him says as he places a third finger into my wet pussy .He fingers go deeper and faster curling to touch my gspot as i throw my head back again as swear words, moans and Chris's name repeatedly falls out of my mouth as i cum for the second time tonight .Again he doesn't stop his actions until my body goes limp against his .He pulls his fingers out of me as i hear him sucking my juices off , i move around in his arm so i could face him when im greeted with his lust filled blue eyes staring into my dazed ones as he sucks his fingers clean of my juices .

"You good baby girl" he asks me I nod my head in agreement to him ."good cus you're gonna do it one more time " he says as he rolls me over already taking my jogging bottoms off."Chris I don't know if I can" I say tiredly to him "you can baby just one more time , cum around my cock let me fill you up mama " he whisper to me grabbing my chin so he can move my head so that I look at him ."okay" I say to him "I wanna watch you cum again" he says as he holds me legs up and open and rest the head of his dick at my entrance before he thrusts in stretching me perfectly, we both let out moans , with our mouths open and staring into each others eyes. He starts thrusting into , fucking me mercilessly .I feel his cock go deeper inside of me I move my hand over to my stomach when I feel a bulge it's Chris dick he's so deep inside of me that he's actually made a bulge in me ."feel this" I say to him between moans as I grab Chris's hand and move it over to where he dick is making itself well known in me."fuck im so deep in you" he said still holding my face so our mouths are touching as we speak were that close .

Chris never slack in his movement as he continues to thrust into me at a inhumane speed , I'm left almost screaming against his mouth showing the Chris that I'm near my release."you're shaking baby" Chris states with a smirk as his hand that is still holding my leg up reaches further up and rubs my already over sensitive clit fast and nearly coming " keep your eyes on me baby , I wanna see your pretty face when you cum on my cock" he says and that's all that it takes for me to release myself over him "good girl such a good girl" he says to me as he helps me ride out my final orgasm ."please Chris" I say to him as my body is exhausted after my orgasms Chris shows no mercy and continues to fuck me relentlessly "what baby" he says in the same mocking tone from earlier "cum Chris please fill me up I want to feel your load" those last few dirty words are all that is needed as its chris time to moan into my mouth as i feel his long hot strings of cum coat my walls .He stills and pulls out of me leaving us both a panting mess as he kisses my now sweaty forehead "im so proud baby , you took me so well".are the last words i hear chris say before i fall asleep with my head against his chest .

[carlossainzwho]

traitor

hi guys :)

i'm writing this fic because i'm still trying to figure out what went wrong between isa and carlos and i thought traitor by olivia rodrigo fit well. feel free to let me know in the comments if you would like a part two, perhaps with another olivia song (yeah i love her, probably enough for you) but anyway, i hope you enjoy!

pairing - carlos sainz x fem!reader (well, she's an ex)

warnings - just grammar, i can't be bothered to proofread. perhaps a bit of swearing too. sexual references.

brown guilty eyes and little white lies yeah, i played dumb but i always knew that you talked to her, maybe did even worse i kept quiet so i could keep you

what used to be 'good morning baby' turned into nothing and what used to be a cheeky smile tuned into a frown. he told her that he would love her, no matter what, but those innocent brown eyes couldn't fool her.

y/n knew he was lying. rebecca wasn't just a friend of his. but y/n loved carlos too much to let him go.

and ain't it funny how you ran to her the second that we called it quits?

instagram posts. fans. the media. they went crazy after y/n and carlos' split. who is rebecca? who had she dated before? why did carlos move on? the real question was, how did he move on so easily?

and ain't it funny how you said you were friends now it sure as hell don't look like it

rebecca and carlos weren't just friends. slightly more, you could say. and y/n knew that.

You betrayed me And I know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt, yeah You talked to her when we were together Loved you at your worst, but that didn't matter It took you two weeks to go off and date her Guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor

she told herself that she wouldn't cry, that the 6 1/2 years that you two spent together weren't in vain, and he'll see what he did wrong. she loved him but he never loved her back. he left her with a broken and confused heart.

and all y/n wanted to know was what she had done wrong.

Now you bring her around Just to shut me down Show her off like she's a new trophy

y/n took to instagram to see what they were up to. there's not mistaking it - the lush brown hair, the dazzling blue eyes - no wonder carlos got bored of y/n. post after post, she saw rebecca in sparkly dresses and small bikinis with her beautiful hair going down her beautiful back, waving in the wind beautifully. everything she was insecure about. and with every swipe of her phone, y/n's heart broke to see her ex lover's hand around rebecca's waist and not hers.

Ain't it funny All the twisted games All the questions you used to avoid? Ain't it funny? Remember I brought her up And you told me I was paranoid

who's rebecca?

where's she from?

y/n laughed. she remembers carlos used to tell her that he liked british accents.

what? who? how?

rebecca's a friend, right? right?

ah, ah, ah God, I wish that you had thought this through Before I went and fell in love with you

sunset was near. summer of 2016 was lovely.

'y/n, i'm in love with you.' his lips fell on hers. from supporting him in races, to having sex, to being by his side through the worst.

all of which could only be dreamt of.

When she's sleeping in the bed we made Don't you dare forget about the way you betrayed me

walking past the graffiti in the local park that read

true love only happens once

rebecca and carlos this, rebecca and carlos that.

and as carlos lay in bed

with rebecca by his side, snoozing

he remembers looking at y/n's face

with her golden hair

and grey-green eyes

and beautiful smile

her lips on his

all of which could only be dreamt of.

a small note:

in the fic, i mentioned graffiti that said true love only happens once. this is actually from my local park and as i was cycling past it, the first person i thought of was isa hernaez. she's strong, but i know that somewhere inside of her, she misses carlos and i'm sure carlos feels the same. thank you so much for reading, you mean everything to me.

please reblog so that i can get more support! i love you!

and remember

true love only happens once.

PLEASE VOTE FOR PART 2 NOW ON MY ACCOUNT!!!!!!

[nomoreusername]

Bless You

Pairing:Newt x female reader

Summary:After crawling through the vents you end up meeting a cute British boy.

Aris and I are the only ones left from our Maze. We've been told all of our friends are safe and happy. We'd believe it if we were complete idiots.

Now we spend our nights on look-out for any clues we can find. Any possible escape routes, our friends, or ideas of where the bodies go is quickly noted.

"I swear we're just going to fall through these things one day,"I mumbled, crawling next to my friend.

"That isn't even funny."

"It wasn't supposed to be. I'm just adding more terror to this already horrifying place. Maybe you can put it in your list of fears."

"We have enough of those,"He pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'm just saying-"

"Stop,"He hushed, putting his hand out. I gave him a questioning look, but he only shook his head.

"Go back,"He mouthed, pointing behind us. This was understandably confusing and irritating, but I didn't ask him about it. I'm sure I'd get an explanation later.

Apparently, that came sooner than I would have hoped. Someone sneezed, and I did probably the most idiotic thing in my life.

"Bless you,"I said, absentmindedly. Aris looked at me in disbelief. It was then that it clicked in my mind how much I just messed up.

"What? Who's there?"Someone asked.

"Let's go,"He mouthed again.

"What if we just see who they are?"I suggested.

"No. Go back now."

There was the rustling of bedsheets. Aris was silently begging me to leave. I know I probably should, but maybe we could trust this stranger.

Actually, now that I'm thinking it through that's a bad idea. Quickly but quietly we got ready to leave.

Everything next happened in a flash. The vent cover was off, and some strange boy climbed from his bunk into the ceiling. We all sat there staring at each other. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion while I just was frozen with wide eyes.

"Who are you two?"He asked after a minute of dead silence. While there are a thousand other questions probably running through his head that's probably the most obvious one.

"You're dreaming,"I blurted out. Aris gave an exasperated sigh from next to me.

"No. I've definitely seen you before, and I doubt I'd dream of strangers."

"I'm just the girl of your dreams,"I shrugged.

"Y/N, you are terrible at excuses. Listen, I'm Aris, that's Y/N, and we're just trying to figure some things out."

"Are you taking a bloody midnight stroll through the vents?"The boy asked. It was clear now that he had an accent. It was strangely nice to listen to. That's probably not something most people would think about when a stranger is sitting across from them in a vent, but nothing about this situation is normal. There's no way any thought could make this weirder than it is.

"We're doing some things. Before I explain why we're in a death trap do you want to tell us your name?"I asked, tired of referring to him as stranger in my mind.

"What?"He asked quickly.

"Y/N, that's a terrible thing to say,"Aris scolded.

"It's the truth. Now tell us your name stranger,"I repeated.

"I'm Newt. Now what are you talking about?"

"I like your name. Well, since you've disturbed our mission we'll explain tomorrow. Meet us at our table. You'll find it in no time."

"But-"

"So long Newt. Have a great sleep,"I said before he could get another word out. Judging by the paranoid expression on his face I don't think that's happening, but we pretended not to see as we made our way back to our rooms.

"Seriously Y/N? That's the way we get caught? Because you said bless you?"Aris whispered.

"It's a reflex. It's not my fault I have manners,"I defended.

"We know nothing about him. He could think we're insane."

"We know his name is Newt,"I reminded him.

"That's not what I meant. Tonight think of how we explain this to him. I'll do the same. I'll see you tomorrow Y/N."

"Will do. Goodnight Aris,"I responded, before making my final stop of the night.

Carefully dropping into my top bunk I laid down and stared at the ceiling. All the while I thought more about the random boy I had just met. Something tells me the mysterious blonde with a cute accent will believe us just fine.

[miasthoughtsteeheehawhaw]

eye symbolism?? idk man its late and i have thoughts (this is about bakugou btw)

so in mha's artstyle the child characters are drawn with big eyes (which is not unheard of in anime and manga) and i got to thinking that this probably symbolizes some sort of childhood innocence (being kids and all)

so bakugou, has innocence in these flashbacks right? hes just a kid after all (his eyes are a touch smaller and more angular which is either just a stylistic choice or something ill dig real deep into at some point idk im just trying to crank these words out before i go to bed)

but obviously the big-eyed look is not on bakugou for very long as if we look at him nowadays his eyes appear to have shrunk just a tad

(also, sidenote: do you even understand how hard it is to find a picture of bakugou thats not either fan art or surrounded by hearts and shit? sorry anyway)

look at them dinky eyes. now what has happened to this goblin of a boy? ill tell you.

society

^please read that in a posh old timey british accent please it makes it funny please laugh at my jokes i promise im actually funny guys i swear

anyway lets get into quirkism (is that the word? idk). so because reasons i dont need to explain, quirkism is deeply ingrained into society, so when children develop (or dont develop) their quirks, the 'strong' kids are idolized by not only their fellow children but their teachers and adults in their life as well, which may lead to a somewhat inflated ego....not gonna name names but BAKUGOUBAKUGOUBAKUGOUBAKUGOUBAKUGOUBAKUGOU

anyway

so hes been hardened by societys expectations of him so of course hes gonna be a little mean (okay i admit a little is a bit of an understatement given the whole 'kill yourself' bit, not his finest moment, i must say) so am i excusing his behavior? NO! HE DID A BAD THING

however it would not have reached that point if someone had intervened. maybe said something along the lines of 'hey bakugou maybe dont bully that guy thats really shitty' but bakugou never faced any consequences for it really. his gaggle of goons encouraged it and the teachers never stopped it.

this post started with eyes...i got a little side tracked...whoops anyway back to eyes

you may be thinking: 'mia youre stupid and wrong, the change in eye size is just to show that bakugou is older.' and to that i say NUH UH

i raise you midoriya

TAKE A GANDER AT THEM BIG OLE EYEBALLS!

i think they represent his hope and resilience and his willingness to be vulnerable

eyes are the window to the soul and his are so big you can see right through them. you can SEEEEE

but bakugou yall, he got them dinky eyes. theyre small and closed off because he sees vulnerability as a weakness. what does bakugou hate? being weak. so hes got small eyes so no one can see him

anyway i totally read wayyy too much into that but i mean, let a gal have fun

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c3. preview

simon riley x original character.

abstract: Simon here, I saw Jude again, she's still going on about her theories, whatever. it's not even funny anymore and she has some weird secret I want to find out… still, she's a fucking menace to society. idk what's wrong with her probably got dropped on her head on purpose as a kid. don't blame the parents.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: The Fruits, Paris Paloma.

In the end, she did hear back from Price. An email. 'Scherzi!' She shouted out loud in her apartment. She sat down on the couch and Jinx hopped on with her, sniffing her laptop. An email from the captain, an invitation to a briefing, to discuss the situation. Tomorrow after your last session at 5pm. 'No vabbe, me fa parià…' she mumbled and wrote back that she would be there.

'So, I wanted to update you on your patient. We spoke with him and three other soldiers about joining us to the next mission in Al-Jareena next week but he refused. Well…' he stopped, rubbing his beard in clear distress. 'He got up and came up to me saying his injury is not fully healed and he will not be able to get deployed. So I told him we needed him and he started to get nervous and left the room in a hurry.' She listened without intervening. 'I know you have an appointment with him one day before we leave. I was wondering if you could let me know if you find out something about this, he's required to leave with us, otherwise we'll have to report him. His doctors cleared him.' He showed her a piece of paper, sliding it across the table.

'Too risky.' It was Simon that spoke. He was British, his voice was deep. He had been debating on intervening in the meeting from the moment Price asked him to be present. He asked him cause he trusted him, and valued his opinion. Jude could have been informed and educated with her little theories and stories, but she didn't know how things worked in the army. This wasn't Cluedo. She had the same attitude when she walked in the room, maybe a bit less stiff. He took his time exploring her. Her pretty green eyes, her nose, her neck. She wore a blouse this time, with grey trousers. She still had those shiny high boots. She had her hair up, a blonde ponytail. He looked at her jaw. She had a mole on her cheek. He shook her hand, he could smell her deodorant. Her skin was warm, soft. He liked talking to her. Her voice still sounded weird, he couldn't pick up a particular accent. He understood she would't let it go.

'I think you're waisting an opportunity.'

'I think you're thinking too much about it.'

I think I want to brake your neck. She was mad now, he could see her, he could feel it. They weren't listening. She stood up and thanked the two for inviting her to the meeting, she assured them she would keep them updated. Her smile was fake, she still wanted to be polite even thought she thought they were both fucking stupid. Ghost didn't feel guilty for going so hard on her, he looked at her leave while she was trying to hide her anger. He said what he really thought, that was what he had been trained to do. 'What's her deal?' he asked the captain on his way out. 'Jude?' the man looked up, then shook his head.

notes: translation: 'Scherzi!', you're joking! 'No vabbe, me fa parià' Naples dialect for 'you're making me laugh'.

notes: Saturday or Sunday for full chapter, when do you want it?? replies and reblogs are highly appreciated!!!

love, mare.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[daydreamswithme]

hi, you said you mby wanted to get into writing? how about a meet cute situation? where harry is like famous and she doesn’t know but he looks familiar or something like that. if you don’t end up doing it that is also okay :) hope you’re having a good day xx

A/N: AAAH OMG!!! THIS ID MY FIRST REQUEST THANK UUUU XXXXX !!!! i didnt really know how to start this BUT I LOOKED UP SOME PROMPTS and chose this one:

THIS IS LIKE MORE THAN 2 YEARS OLD SO IT WAS WAY WAY BEFORE HARRY WON HIS GRAMMIES OR GAINED THE ALL THE FAME HE HAS NOW LOL (i started writing it right about the time lot first started in the usa i think????)

20: getting paired up at a dance class

You were running late.

So fucking late.

And you knew that Glenne was a perfectionist and she would have your head if you were late again-

But it wasn't your fault. Solely at least.

Everything was going wrong today. From getting your period this morning and staining your favourite sheets to the bus breaking down on the way down here, forcing you to walk the last 3 blocks in the pouring rain.

The universe seemed to hate you today.

Finally, though, you sigh as you push open the heavy door to the dance hall.

"I'm so sorry Glenne, I swear I got ready half an hour early and got on the early bus to come on time and oh my fucking god you won't believe what happened today-"

You are interrupted by a cough. And so you turn around slowly, prepared for the embarrassment you are going to have to endure, only to find that Glenne wasn't alone this time.

No, she was accompanied by Jeff and another man, but you just couldn't place a finger on who he was. You'd definitely seen him before because he looked familiar but-

" 'm Harry" is the first thing he says, before sticking his hand out for a handshake.

You take it, telling him your own name before he's cutting you off again.

"Oh my god your hands are freezing! Here I have an extra sweatshirt somewhere"

And he's running off, to the other side of the room where you find three gym bags placed on the floor. You turn quickly to Glenne, eyes wide and questioning before she mouths, 'Jeff's friend'

You nod in understanding and watch him shuffle through his cream crocheted tote bag, a sparkly 'HS' twinkling in the dance studio's light. A moment later, his hands pop out with a black hoodie, embroidered with 'Treat People With Kindness' that he hands to you hastily, urging you behind the room partition to change.

"This is Y/N?" you hear his voice again, and you are sure you've heard that british accent before, you just can't place your finger on it-

"Why? Interested?" you hear Glenne say in a teasing voice and you can just hear that stupid little smirk of hers-

"Alright enough, I can hear you, it's not like I'm actually in a different room" you say, quickly pulling the sweatshirt over your head but not before you hear some low murmurs. "Now let's get this over with" you sigh, while walking to the group. You turn to Harry, "Cute sweatshirt, thanks". He nods with a smile,

"Actually it's from-"

"Ah, you are all here...finally" the dance instructor comes in the room, and you narrow your eyes at her dig.

"I was like ten minutes late" you try to defend.

"Try 25" Glenne remarks while stretching, and you turn to Jeff who usually supports you, only to find him looking away from you, not wanting to get involved.

"Alright, let's start. Now, you two are the maid of honour and best man I presume?" you and Harry nod. "Now traditionally, you share a dance, usually a waltz once the guests are welcomed to the dance floor. We'll start first with leader's steps and see if that fits you" you both nod again. "Jeff and Glenne, feel free to do the same"

Your eyes fleet over at Harry for a moment, only to find him already looking at you. When you catch him he diverts his eyes quickly and you can't help the chuckle that leaves you.

"Something funny, Y/N?" the dance instructor chastises you, and just like you are a schoolgirl again you answer instinctively,

"No miss", making you and the rest of the group erupt in giggles. Harry is trying to hold it back, but you see the huge smile that takes over his face.

"Now, this dance is easy. It's exactly as it sounds, one leads while the other follows. If you are going for tradition, which I believe you are, it's usually the man that leads so, Harry, Jeff, turn to your partners"

Jeff turns to Glenne while Harry turns to you, putting his right hand out. He wiggles his brows and with a curious smile, you place your hand in his. He softly clutches it, before raising it and placing his other hand on your waist. You hear the dance teacher shuffling to put on the music and turn to Harry with a smile.

"Hey, so I've never waltzed before" you say, pursing your lips in a smile while he looks at you with a smile. "So if I accidentally step on both your feet at the same time, know that I'm sincerely sorry."

"I'll keep that in mind" he replies, giggling as he takes a step back. You follow reluctantly, taking a small step so you don't step on him. He nods, seemingly approving of your move and continues on.

You fall into a steady rhythm, one step forward, two steps right, one step left and one backward. It seems easy, you think to yourself and start making your steps bigger, your movement more confident.

That is of course, until you manage to step on both of his feet at the same time-

"Fuck!" you hear, a scream which breaks the beautiful silence that had encompassed the room, with you holding Harry's gaze, dancing like you had been doing it for years.

Harry runs for the small bench on the side of the room and a string of apologies spew out of your mouth. Jeff and Glenne look over, and you know, Glenne is going to kill you right about now-

"Shit! I'm so sorry Harry, oh fuck! Sorry!" you move over to him, who although clearly hurt, tried his smallest of smiles while reassuring you that it was fine, really, and it didn't actually hurt that much.

"I think that this is enough for today" you hear Glenne say through an annoyed huff, and you know, you know, you'll hear it over the phone tonight. You bite your lip anxiously, sliding next to Harry on the small wooden bench and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Really, Harry, I'm so so sorry" you keep repeating and a small giggle floats through your ears. You're confused, until you turn to see Harry with a cute bunny smile, his eyes crinkling as he takes your apologies in. You aren't sure if the pain is making him delirious yet it couldn't have possibly hurt that much, right?

"Actually, you know what?" He speaks up, looking at you. You shrug, confused by the sudden shift in his mood. Your eyebrows knit in worry, and you look at him with glossed over eyes, hoping you didn't fuck this up.

"I don't think I can forgive you". Your eyes wide. His smile is infectious as he looks at you, and you allow yourself to calm down, telling yourself that that he's just joking-

"That is, unless you join me for dinner tonight?"

[kellykadesperate]

red white and royal blue film thoughts n live comments below:

alex being scared of putting a foot wrong and thinking hey let me actually start off on a good note with someone who is familiar to me and henry just completely ignores him! lmao

romcom silly intro titles showing how different their lives are, through drawings with bad reputation playing. early 2000 vibes let’s gooo

“we’d ship the ashes to heathrow” lmaooo she is perfect actually

“white blond british” is so valid

henry asking the kids if they know who alex is just so he can watch all the kids shake their heads in unison

it’s funny how watching it i instantly pick up on the fact that henry has a thing for alex more than alex having a thing for henry

alex. eyelashes. eyelashes. alex

henry’s bitmoji has a crown. he made sure to add headwear

the text montage was such a creative way of going back and forth rather than just showing texts on the screen the whole time

henry’s face when the girl randomly sits on alex at the new years party needs to be studied i think

see i kind of like how they’ve leaned into the fact that in the book henry has loved alex for years and never thought he could be with him because we don’t get that perception in the book. but in the film it’s clear as day that this little guy is so secretly happy about getting to spend time with alex and then alex kisses two random girls at the stroke of midnight and henry is like: oh {something beautifully tragic and poetic}

idk why but henry’s little ‘here’ text sort of sent me over the edge

a black woman as the pm of the uk? we can dream

ok but the look of absolute relief, and awe on henry’s face when alex kisses him in the red room. he literally has to pull away in shock to see if alex is being serious like wow

“i hated how fit you looked” hehehe

the little just putting it out there about their sexualities was so cute and sweet

the way alex is just very much always himself but henry swings violently between so soft and earnest to ridiculously sarcastic and insincere about everything is so !!!

it is … [a mouthful] 😏😏😏😏

the fact that henry thinks he can only belong to someone else momentarily … is really something

“i went to an english boarding school … trust me you’re in good hands” HENRY FOX

i’m the first person to say sex scenes are really unnecessary but why was that actually so sweet and tasteful?? wow

again the addition (i’m sure it is) of alex talking about how important it is for people to see people like him in politics, saying that henry doesn’t understand and henry saying: “i’m learning”. it was such a cute important moment

henry and alex giggling in the hotel room in texas as they take each others closes off. best thing in the world actually

ok sorry henry is SO charming with his little “once unsuccessfully” comment like SIR stop

“where IS SHEEEEE? HELLO HELLO” lmaoooo

alex’s ability to not hesitate in the slightest about not seeing henry again always gets me

“i want you chewing on a crumpet by sunset” ok her lines are actually killing

alex saw henry letting loose being himself just living his best life and had to take a deep breath in because he was realised he was so in love

henry literally throwing himself overboard rather than hear alex say that he loves him. that was … HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME

very much needed alex to be screaming and swearing in the rain outside the palace but we cannot have it all i suppose

the way ‘i can’t help falling in love with you’ is such a top tier romantic song and they danced in the prettiest museum in london

ngl them sneaking into the v&a and that being leaked feels better than them just randomly kissing in the back of a car

a part of me until you have all of me was the sentiment to kill me dead. the addition of the exchanging of items as well was such a clever touch, considering how much that key meant to alex

ok but the way henry thought alex would never love him but alex did not only that but also said he would patiently wait for henry until he was ready. he constantly looks so shocked that alex is so ready just to be his urgh

“love sick homosexuals” no seriously why does she have the best lines in the world

staircase moment quite nearly killed me

alex watching henry play piano with this big smile on his face and then trying to play the national anthem whilst henry is just like: :D

it’s so cute because the film has really picked up on the idea that henry admires alex and his ability to just be himself so much

the bit where henry was going to reach down to play with his ring but realised alex was wearing it on his finger … the little look because they’re so connected

the little balcony moment was so cute, seeing all the little flags waving felt like such a moment

henry just running after alex rubbing his back making sure he isn’t freaking out on election night and then being like i wore a yellow tie :) it’s meant to reminder you of texas :) and alex just instantly hugging him and feeling better

really loved how they had the ending be the same as the book in terms of them walking into alex’s home. the little: “lead the way darling … OK well i took my first steps here” just took me out

so:

overall the cutest little romcom ever. it had comedy and chemistry and it was sweet. it was what it said it was

i actually didn’t find that it went too fast in terms of their relationship because it felt like so much had already sort of happened between them if that makes sense? so so so much was said through their facial expressions, like it was insane how much actually? i also felt like the paris sex scene added so much to their relationship because it just felt so ridiculously intimate and i felt the shift into something so much more serious between them

i wished we got a few more scenes (idk why but i wanted david and alex to meet lmao)

again the addition of miguel was something i got? didn’t like it but got it because i think the book leak idea was a little too complex or would have taken too much time to build up (aka too much time away from alex and henry). he was just a bit of a creep lmao

i definitely feels like it will be appreciated and understood so much more by people who have read the book. the idea of them both loving each other before we saw them at the wedding was felt within the book a lot more. the way alex had a photo of henry when he was younger and henry was so taken by alex back then was never said?

i also … don’t shoot me but … didn’t really miss june that much? like nora was fine but even if june was there i feel like she would have had the exact same vibe as nora. basically a sound board for alex in regards to henry but they didn’t delve into their family history or had their parents divorced which again … i kind of get? it feels like they were interested in alex and henry’s relationship more so than the building blocks to their individual personalities and they definitely sacrificed elements of complexity on alex’s part especially

the scene in the book where alex rings henry and just complains about his family is such a little turning point for them and would have been lovely to see in the film but like i said … i kind of get it

henry and alex were perfectly cast in my eyes. henry was so endearing and charming and complex and they nailed all of that and alex was loud and passionate and unapologetically himself

having read the book and found it hopeful and optimistic and so so charming, the film was exactly that too

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

for the nights and days of life by @mochalottie longass notes for chapter nineee:

-Beard! Jake is such a funny image. It’s long and flowing, maybe he braids it Omaticaya style.

-Baby Spider’s return!! God I missed him and Jake’s little lab bonding time. It's such a clear image in my head, same as their little hammock is to me. I always love when a scene is so tangible for me.

-Me and Jake holding hands and never forgetting what Tsantu did. We will never get over it and we will never forgive him.

-You’ve got metaphors on top of similes in this chapter, babe. How many ways to describe Jake’s eyes bingo. I'd cut some. I tend to go harsher with my edits for Andrei, but I've never done that for you so idk let me know if that's not your vibe! I think I had one person ask for harsher long notes and it's on my docket, but it was not you!

-HAHA Kiri and the other kids constantly reminding Jake about how cool every scar they have is while he goes into cardiac arrest.

-KSKSKKS Lo’ak is so LITTLE COMPARED TO THEM. HE’S ONLY TWO. HOW DID HE BECOME BABY? DID YOU DECIDE HE SHOULD BE BABY?? DO I JUST NOT UNDERSTAND THE PASSAGE OF TIME??

-I adore the Max and Norm cameo it is flawless, I hope they keep sending each other shit. I am unclear as to what they mean by can they use some of it. Do they mean as evidence against the RDA? That’s my best guess.

-Neteyam: yay what a great day to finally hang out alone with my best friend and brother!

Spider: let’s go into this scary area.

Neteyam: oh.

-Lol of course Spider found hIS MOMS dead body and ship because he is literally Eywa’s favorite and least favorite. He’s the main character. All the shit happens to him. You know that funny saying, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, that's Jake comforting Neytiri and Spider. "Eywa gives her toughest battles to her strongest soldiers."

-The fear of having a disabled child, or even just a chronically ill child balanced with letting them live their own lives? It’s such a great concept to explore in Spider, and I love Neytiri doing it. Jake was human, he’s used to them, but Neytiri would have never seen a kid break an arm or an ankle or dislocate a shoulder or anything like that. It's horrible and scary for any person to see happen to their kid, but yet you know the kid will be fine. For Neytiri there is none of that background knowledge and comfort. It’s such a painful but interesting concept I adore it every time I see it.

-I also like audibly cooed at her making Jake foods he likes all the time because she wants to make up for food on Earth being shit all the time. That is the sweetest thing I've ever read gOD I love jeytiri.

-Jake snorting himself awake has me dEAD, simply cACKING, but also it’s so sweet because you kNOW his ass never slept deeply after the war, or before on Earth. He only sleeps deeply in the cuddle pile and I’ll cry. Him and Neteyam both, Neteyam will wake up at the slightest sound uNLESS he's in the family cuddle pile.

-Neteyam and Spider are the twins that came to literally like, stab Jake in the heart occasionally by reminding him of Tommy. You kNOW sometimes they cuddle or run off together and he can’t breathe for a second because they look like two different kids of a different species.

-You fucked up, potter is the british version of putter. I’m laughing when the British or Irish slang slips in. I only mention it because of your authors note saying you were trying to catch them all lol.

-Oh my god Neytiri going to say goodbye and reassure Paz that she has Spider taken care of? That has my entire heart and soul.

-Hilarious of Neytiri to specifically call human technology stupid names. That’s so funny. She’s like “Jake, someone is calling you on the stupid dumbass square.”

-Jake and Neytiri now must keep up the ruse of science being a swear for years to come. Norm says science on a call one time and they all gASP and cover Spider's ears.

-Norm and Max better come back with the RDA, like they sneak aboard and come to apologize to Jake and fuck shit up in person. I know that isn't the point but I miss them deeply.

-Neytiri at all times just lowkey at defcon 1 just like, always on the fucking razors edge. She is so full of unhealed and unchecked trauma and PTSD it's almost hilarious.

[laughtosmilex]

rating tvd characters because i’m out here struggling with this show (up to s5)

for context: i’ve had this love-hate relationship with tvd since i was 12. now that i’m grown and not blinded by insignificant storylines and attractive 30-year-olds playing teenager roles, i’m rewatching and struggling. and i’m taking y’all with me.

elena gilbert, 1/10

- banal

- whiny

- bad acting, got like two facial expressions

- annoying

- tries to be cool and tough, but to me she’s just cringe 99% of the time

- i don’t give her 0 just because she’s rarely funny and active (= not being a damsel in distress or a living ingredient for some witchcraft shit)

stefan salvatore, 7,5/10

- boyfriend material

- love s1 stefan

- kind and caring, excluding the ripper personality

- comes up with good plans

- a lot of different phases of life, maybe too many

- transformative arch’s a bit confusing (up to this point), like one step forward and two steps back

- sometimes i feel like punching him in the face

- still i have a soft spot for him

damon salvatore, 5,5/10

- king of bad decisions

- ridiculously down bad (relatable)

- comes up with either shit plans or excellent plans that resolve in the worst way possible

- funny and charismatic, but very moody

- cinic to say the least

- he doesn’t sit right with me, i don’t hate him tho

- still very iconic

caroline forbes, <3/10

- cute

- kind

- witty

- adorable

- does everything for her loved ones

- her smile lights up the world

- the show did her dirty since episode 1

- she owns my heart

- i can make you happy, caroline, i swear

bonnie bennett, 10/10

- underrated

- powerful af

- brave

- strong

- selfless

- the show did her dirtier than caroline

- always sacrificing everything for other people

- i love witches in tvd

katherine pierce/katerina petrova, 4/10

- stereotypical

- manipulative

- annoying

- selfish

- her favourite singer would probably be ariana grande or something like that

- but she got flaws too

- she’s funny tho

- i like her at times, rare times

(ni)klaus mikaelson, 7/10

- i would’ve given 10/10 when i was younger, but i have to rethink about that

- psychopath

- his whole family stuff is just creepy and somewhat nonsense

- “man, i love my family. what did you say, brother? i have to do the dishes?” *stabs you and puts you in a casket for 900 years*

- curb your millenary creature flirting with a 17-year-old

- pros: powerful, fascinating, charming, poetic, british accent

- i wish i could hear him call me “love”, just for once

- hybrid (they’re cool)

matt donovan, 2/10

- give me a chair, because i can’t stand you

- if “i won last place” was a person

- he’s just boring and very mean at times

- i’m sorry that his life sucks so bad tho

tyler lockwood, 4,5/10

- s1 tyler was asking to be kicked in the balls

- totally unbearable

- however his character grew so much and i’m glad

- i know i said hybrids are cool, but i liked him better when he was just a werewolf

- he went back to being intolerable when he was sired to klaus, but it wasn’t entirely his fault

- i’m mixed on this

- nah, he broke caroline’s heart, so fuck him

jeremy gilbert, 9/10

- let’s ignore s1 jeremy, shall we?

- from emo teen to kick ass hunter

- lovely

- strong

- brave

- i can’t help being drawn to him every time he’s in a scene

- i don’t have anything else to say, i like him, period

[sherwoodknights]

SP 1999 EPISODE 5 LIVEBLOG

And thus begins the final 2 parter of the series!!!!

Uh oh its 1794 and they're at an orphanage in paris

I'm gonna get my heart ripped out by the Dauphin aren't I goddammit

THE KIDS CALLING HIM YOUR MAJESTY LMAOOO

MY POOR BOY STOP SHOUTING AT HIM

I don't care what version of the story it is, I can and will get emotional over the Dauphin

LEAVE THE CHILD ALONE HES A LITERAL CHILD STOP MAKING HIM INSULT HIS PARENTS FFS

Who is the spooky man in the mask

Richard E Grant are you the spooky man in the mask

HE JUST FULL ON PUNCHED A WOMAN IN THE FACE AND STABBED A MAN IM NOT SO SURE THATS RICHARD E GRANT

Transformers wishes it has explosions like this

Awww percy being nice to the painter what a king

Women in pretty dresses yes please <3333

Marguerite in red dress is GORGEOUSSSS

Suzanne is also gorgeous for the record

PERCY AND MARGOT STOP HAVING FIGHTS IN FRONT OF THE PRINCE

SHES LEAVING HIM?????

Please tell me that was all part of a plan

I do not care if you are the Prince of England sir you will not touch my wife

Oh no

Oh I don't think it was planned at all

Margot you know what happened the last 2 times you were alone in france

Ugh ffs Chauvelin leave her aloneeeeee

"Your English is better than mine" says the British actor to the American actress

God they're so bad at small talk

Yeah Marguerite why have you left Percy we'd all like to know

Stop enjoying this so much Chauvvy damn

GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER SHES SLEEPING

Oh wait he was waking her up my bad

What do the French government want with Marguerite thoooo

OH SHIT MAYBE IT IS A PLAN

GODDAMN THEY HAD ME FOOLED

Robespierre has a model village akdndjeksndnd??????

Robespierre rolling his eyes and looking disgusted while Marguerite talks about falling in love with Percy lmaoooooo

She is a person thank you very much don't call her a piece of propaganda

Omgggg do we get to see margot back on stage lets gooo

"You should be in politics" oh robespierre if only you knew

WHY IS ROBESPIERRE LIKE A SULKING CHILDDDD

Chauvvy with a cigarette is kinda hot????

Andrew in a silly revolutionary beanie is too cute lmao

Who are they looking for

OH SHIT THE GUY THEYRE LOOKING FOR IS HANGING FROM THE CEILING

Yeah you go you funky actress stick your scene partners head into your chest

Oh god margot had to share a carriage with Chauvvy AND Robespierre?? That must have been the world journey in the worlddd

Oh nevermind the actress is a raging bitch

Aksjejskekrkrk she insulted robespierres playwrighting abilities

"It's an honour, Citizen robespierre-" "no, its an intrusion" lmao what a line

PERCY STOP KISSING YOUR WIFE CHAUVELIN IS RIGHT THERE

PERCY AND MARGOT REUNION AGAIN <3333

Uh oh the shaver cut Robespierre he's gonna dieee

He doesn't believe Percy is the Pimpernel despite the fact that he admitted it to Chauvelin??? Trust issues in full throttle I see

You go percy save that woman I believe in you

ROBESPIERRE BALANCING THE GLASSES ON THE WIG AGAIN LMAOOO

SIR THE DAUPHIN IS A CHILD DO NOT DARE BRING HIM TO TRIAL

The only time I will agree with Robespierre in this series is when he refuses to put a 10 year old on trial and execute him

Honestly Andrew looks so fit in his revolutionary disguise

Oh no where's the woman they were gonna save gone

OH FUCKED SHES BEEN DROWNED AND HER NECKS BEEN BROKEN

Stop bullying margot you bitch she's more of an actor than you'll ever be

We get a lot of sassy robespierre this episode and I'm enjoying it honestly

I hope the guy on stage rips his pants

Not out of spite or anything I just think it would be funny

I swear to god if she sabotages Margot ill cry

Girl what the fuck kind of Epilogue is this

DONT CALL MY WIFE A TRAITOR YOU BASTARD

Shoutout that one random man in the audience for starting to sing i guess????

Look he saved Marguerite from looking completely stupid good on him

Two seconds ago they were insulting her and now they're carrying her through the streets on shoulders??

Aww percy looks so proud of her <33

Another episode done!

Only one episode left this season now, I can't wait to see how this goes!!

[fnaffersblog]

Spoilers Below for ‘Moon RETURNS!? in VRCHAT’

The third one. From June 27th 2023. 

Trigger Warnings Below for: Cursing

I was wondering earlier today how Moon was doing dealing with Lord Monty and Nice Eclipse for a month. I wonder if he’s done any bonding w Nice Eclipse. I’m sure he’s ready to get home. I’m sure Sun’s missin him a lot, but I wonder how receptive he'll be to Sun jumping all about him in excitement.

I love that Lord Monty, despite wielding one of if not the most powerful object in his universe, is seen as like an annoying nuisance at most by the people who are in his universe.

On one hand I see where Eclipse is coming from here in regards to the speed the satellite was built. It's good to be cautious, especially with something so important and I imagine they spent the last month meticulously building this thing.

On the other hand, they're genius super computer animatronics being supported by actual genius super computer AI's. Lol.

"Not to mention I still gotta deal with the amalgam." Uh. Oh. Hm. Moon. Buddy. I got some news for you.

I KNEW that was gonna be a fuckin problem lololololol

Like, I KNOW Jigsaw was never gonna STAY in the arcade room but come on, you know? They really just left him there and went *dusting off hands* 'Job completed! That's a problem for future SaMs!' I'm laughing about it.

The satellite was the easy part. I'm super interested to see how they solve the infinitely more difficult issue of getting Eclipse into this dimension.

I'm... actually a little afraid they're gonna actually kill Eclipse again. Turns out I'm still not ready for it.

"More British man?" NO. NO. MOON. GET OUT OF THERE. LEAVE. PLEASE, BEFORE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The utter look of betrayal on Eclipses's fuckin face as Moon fingergunned his way backwards into the portal. I'm wheezing.

UNS IS THWOORNG BARELLLS??? WHAT??

By God he really was losing his mind with out Moon.

He's so excited! He's so excited! I'm so excited!

Sun told Moon he was gonna be pissed and Moon's immediate assumption was Sun thought he'd be mad because he wasn't taking care of himself.

"I assumed that was gonna happen." >:} Oh did you? /j

Bonus: Sun trying to ease Moon into the conversation about how he went off to do some questioning in regards to the whole 'taking care of Eclipse' situation on his own. Making excuses for why he did what he did. Making it sound like it was just a passing silly curiosity tee hee! Awkwardly laughing to try and ease tensions. He assumed Moon would be mad that he did all that.

NEWTON STAR LORE *POUNDING MY FISTS ON THE DESK* LET'S GO.

Okay. So we're getting contrasting information about the star here. I was under the impression the star was a mix between a magical and a technological object which is what made it so powerful. Golden Freddy said it's base was a magical artifact and now Moon is saying it's a piece of technology. Science, not magic. I wouldn't be surprised if the exact nature of the Star was part of the information lost when Old Moon reset.

I do remember there being something said at some point about how there can only be one Star per universe. I swear. There are just SO many lore episodes trying to find one line in several hours worth of footage is nigh impossible. But it sounds like, as of now, they COULD make a new star, it's possible. It's just that THEY, Sun and Moon can't because they don't have the blueprints or whatever because Old Moon deleted them.

It kinda sounds like they're just as confused about Newton Star lore as we are which is very funny. (Moon's shrug. LOL)

Don't misunderstand me! I Fucking Love The Newton Star Shit. They keep making shit up for it and then not giving a fuck. I get very excited every time they mention the NEwton Star.

Newton Star lore boils down to 'do whatever you want forever'. Facts about the Newton Star are concrete all the way up until they aren't. Shrodinger's Newton Star Lore.

On one hand, I think it's very funny that everyone keeps making fun of Eclipse for putting on a very see-through villain persona. Puppet, Sun, Moon, all of them keep pointing out his façade and making fun of him.

On the other hand. Remember that time he trapped Moon in his own body and made any action taken by his possesor cause him terrible pain, dragging Moon clawing back into one of his worst traumas? Remember when he blew up Lunar in cold blood? Like, yes, I agree. Eclipse is kind of pathetic. Eclipse Baby. But I do think they shouldn't be so flippant about him. Eclipse IS capable of doing heinous shit and he's done so before. Like. He's not STUPID.

On the other other hand, the idea that they could just use gun or trick him into getting pushed into the ballpit a la sharptooth from land before time style to defeat Eclipse is terribly funny. Especially if they did so while he was evil dude monologuing.

Sun is really just trying to help here. That doesn't make Moon's silent pantomime of 'bruh' any less funny. That whole silent interaction was great.

On a less funny note, I do appreciate Moon allowing Sun to talk and not straight up calling his ideas stupid. Like, yeah the 'pushin' Eclipse into the pit with a bit of elbow grease' idea was not the best, but it came from a place of sincerity. And when Sun suggested 'Rick Sanchez's portal gun', regardless of Sun's incredulous manner when suggesting it, Moon took that as an ACTUAL idea.

THE AI'S ARE FIGHTING. The SHADE being thrown.

It never occurred to me that they might DISLIKE one another. I always just assumed they were friends, or at the very least they got along since they inhabited the same arcade machine together and both of them 'work' for Moon. AI1 immediately turning on Moon when he got snarky with him. I keep replaying this entire interaction, it's very funny.

Also, Moon refers to the AI's as brothers. I just... thought that was interesting.

"That was the other me. This is the new me." Hmmmmm.

"I don't trust you now."

"WHAT?" Hmmmm??

This right here, Moon allowing Sun to talk about what he was doing instead of just shooting ideas down. Telling him that he recognizes Sun is trying to help, recognizing the effort Sun is putting into this mission. Saying straight out that they'll try and figure things out together. This was so important to me.

Sun ASKED Moon 'Can I say my thing?' and Moon immediately paused, gave the mic to him. And then he LISTENED. ACTIVELY LISTENED.

*Insert Deltarune Explosion mp3*

"Why are we Fallout 4-ing this?"

"He's a God." Lol.

New Moon gettin' reeeeeal stressed out by everything going on right now + Old Moon's shit. He sounded so annoyed when he said 'I can learn'. He's got so much shit on his shoulders. I hope once all this is over, he gets a moment to sit down and sift through all this shit, with Old Moon and his current life and situation.

Sun making a suggestion about Killcode and Moon giving him the floor to speak his part again. It's making my heart hurt. It's so important to me that Sun gets to SPEAK.

"98.5% accur-"

"95%. That's pretty good."

... "98.5%" *Simulates clearing their throat* "This is why you never listen to me."

"I'm sorry. I was talking!"

And then AI2, not one to pass up on an opportunity to both dunk on Sun and show up AI1 pops in to sass Sun. Wonderful.

Fucking love the banter by god. Have I

HAVE I

HAVE I EVER MENTIONED

HAVE I EVER SAID ALOUD FOR THE MASSES TO PERCIEVE

THAT I ENJOY THIS SHOW?

Have I said that yet?

Sometimes I just feel the need to repeat that.

Lol

Anyways

Haven't heard a bald joke in awhile.

Moon threatening to hit Sun as a joke, and Sun holding up his hand. You can't fucking hide that from me. I saw that shit. I SAW that shit.

I always assumed KC went off to explore the wilds for some reason. Like, became a full time hiker. It never occurred to me he might go get a job. I love the idea that he went for volunteer work.

AI1 suggesting, unprompted, that Moon be the one to go and see Killcode. Their reason is sound, yes. But that was weird.

OH.

SHIT.

BIGGEST FUCKING PLOT TWIST OF THE EPISODE!

I

Wow ok.

This is HUGE. This is MASSIVe. I don't

I can't

This show makes my jaw drop sometimes. Irl. Because something'll happen and it'll just take me so by surprise I go fully Looney Tunes jaw-on-the-floor. Like, Moon and Lunars deaths and the fucking trapping episodes did it...

MOON GRANTING FULL ADMIN ACCESS TO SUN IS HUGE.

And... Like. There was no fucking

There was no fucking SNARK. Moon didn't groan and go 'I'm gonna regret this aren't I?' which I can

like, I can HEAR him mumbling some shit like that under his breath before.

the annoyed sigh was because AI1 questioned the decision not because of Sun

He paused to consider his options and came to the conclusion that the best solution to this problem was to LET SUN HELP.

I'm having so many thoughts. Oh MY God.

Moon not knowing the code/ caring enough to break a previous set protocol for the gun but knowing the code to grant Sun admin access.

I

yeh.

I watched it a second time. I might cry. Jesus Christ.

It really just was a 'Oh this'll help Sun!' decision. Even Sun was dumbfounded. He really did just go 'here's some extra tools for your disposal' he's so casual about it he WANTS Sun to help him im

I'm having a hard time trying to describe why this was so important because I'm getting emotional over it fuck

Moving on. I'll

Get to that in the future

I think this is the second time it's been insinuated that Sun is the best candidate to find Eclipse because of their shared history. Golden Freddy kinda touched on it in his own cryptic way and now Moon's suggesting the same thing. I saw someone else on here point that out.

Moon's excitement as he's running out the door. "We're gonna do a video later! Go ahead and pick a game! :D "

Sweet. Welcome back Moon, u were missed.

Unprompted, recommending a game again. It's a horror game, a Garten fan game.

I'm trying to tell if it's Eclipse pretending to be AI1 again, which would skew my perspective on the previous interactions in the episode. But I'm also wondering if this is AI1... caring about Sun?

We haven't lost the snark towards Sun lol.

I'm gonna have to go back to that one episode where Sun breaks Moon's computer and listen to what AI1 sounded like because there WAS a subtle difference, to hint that it was Eclipse, that I didn't pick up on until I went back and watched the episodes again later, after everything happened with Killcodes resurgence and the truth of that whole situation being revealed.

He's done this before. Did Old Moon ever tell Sun about that? That that happened? Probably not knowing what I know about Old Moon. So most likely, neither of them have any reason to suspect Eclipse can do that even though he's done it before. We still don't know what his 'false hope' plan is, but now that I'm thinking about it this could be exactly what's happening here.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Mark Steel has been on The Bugle a total of thirteen times so far, and three of those have paired him with Hari Kondabolu. Here is the trilogy:

4161 – 2020-08-04 – Corruption, COVID and Cricket

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4179 – 2021-01-12 – Everything Is Fine

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4224 – 2022-03-09 – Zelensky’s Tight 16

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Steel/Kondabolu is an excellent combination, a dark horse in my “favourite Bugle pairings” rankings because you wouldn’t think of them together. One’s British and one’s American, but they’re not like some international pairings, in which both people involved clearly know each other relatively well due to having traveled regularly to each other’s countries and worked together (ie. Kumar/Ballard). Hari Kondabolu and Mark Steel had clearly not met, and probably never heard of each other, before they did their first Bugle episode together. It was an absolute delight to watch them discover each other throughout the episode, and learn that they have such a compatible comedian across the ocean. There’s this one delightful moment near the end of their first episode together when Steel went on one of his furious rants and Hari just said, “I like you, Mark.”

They go so well together. Hari Kondabolu’s whole thing is being angry about justified causes of horrifying things that go unchecked in America, and Mark Steel’s whole thing is being fucking furious about absolutely everything all the time, including justified sources of anger such as unchecked horrors. Before The Bugle I knew Mark Steel fairly well because he’s on The News Quiz pretty often, and I liked him there, but The Bugle showed me depths of his relentlessly angry comedy that they just don’t let him hit on a BBC show where you’re not allowed to swear. He is perfect on The Bugle.

Mark Steel and Hari Kondabolu are like sparks that keep catching on each other, egging each other on in how much they can turn comedy material into visceral fury. I also like the sides of Andy Zaltzman that get brought out by Mark Steel; he gets Andy to shed a little of the irony that normally coats his anger, and it makes a hell of a podcast episode. I think I incorrectly sometimes think of Mark Steel as a “shouty comedian”, but he’s not, really. He’s just angry.

I’ve recently heard Mark and Hari’s third episode together, and it lives up to the first two. There are so many differences in their comedy styles, meaning they bring totally different things to the table in some ways, but there this underlying hatred of fucking everything that they have in common and I love watching them share it. With each other and with Andy Zaltzman.

The second of these was the first Bugle episode recorded after January 6, 2021. They’d previously established a running joke in which at the start of all Hari’s episodes, Andy would ask him how he’s doing, and Hari would say some variation of “I’m in America after 2016, how the fuck do you think I’m doing?” They opened the first post-January 6 episode with:

Andy Zaltzman: Hello, Hari, how are you... well, should I say “how are you”? Let’s just say how are you coping?

Hari Kondabolu: Fuck off, Andy. Fuck off.

It ended with Andy asking Mark Steel if he wanted to advertise anything he had coming up, to which Mark replied: “Nothing to plug until the year 2051, my own funeral.”

It’s good stuff to listen to if you hate everything and want the catharsis of hearing some other people hate everything while being professionally funny about it.