#like despite the setbacks+hurt they both cause

[fishyartist]

[soulessjourney]

Let The World Burn - Chapter 2

Paring: Azriel x fem!Reader

Word count: 1.5k

Summary: You're one in a million, Azriel had never encountered someone so different from himself, someone more powerful, even rivaling Rhysand in ability. When you appeared in the Night Court one evening, covered in dirt and dried blood, something about you seemed distinctly unique. It wasn't just the fire that scorched the ground beneath you or the red hue of your eyes burning into his skin. No, it was the shadows that swarmed around you, harmonizing with his own, drawing them closer to you.

Warnings: Violence, Language, Near character death, Talk of killing, Angst, Hurt and comfort, hurt no comfort, reader is an angry strong female reader, lots of miscommuication, fluff, More to be added

You weren’t sure what kept you here for the past four months, but it had become some sort of sanctuary for you. After about a month, your name came back to you, along with bits and pieces of your life. The biggest mystery in your life was exactly how you ended up outside of the Night Court, and how you had acquired the little shadows that thrived on the drama within the house. Despite that setback, the Inner Circle was more than welcoming. Feyre and her sisters aided you in any way possible. You and Nesta had started a small book club with the Valkyries, and Elain helped you find comfort in gardening. Cassian made it his personal goal to take on the role of an older brother, coddling you, and Rhysand acted as a therapist of sorts, listening to your worries. You and Rhys had grown close as he worked with you on getting your memories back. Something you admired about him was how patient he was with you.

At month two, Cassian had convinced you to join the Valkyries in training. Those moments were the best of your life as you had grown close to the girls, who understood the pain and confusion that you went through. As much as you loved training, the one thing you dreaded the most was sparring. You were never paired with Nesta or Gwyn; instead, Azriel made it his goal to challenge you. He pushed you to new lengths, discovering what made you tick and using it against you.

That’s where you were at this point in time. Circling the ring as Azriel watched your every move, Cassian coaching you from the side. “Keep your hands up, Y/N; any opening is trouble,” he says gently, causing you to nod as you bring your fists up in front of your face. “Good, now tell me what you see; we’ve worked on this.”

Inhaling, you let your eyes wander over Azriel in an attempt to note any openings or weaknesses. As you continue to circle him, you think back to the injury he received after training with Cassian. Although it was most likely healed by now, he had to have been tender. Looking down at his knee, you spot the slight limp. Glancing up at him, a small smile works its way onto your face. Throwing your leg out, you aim for his knee, hitting the mark. A satisfied sigh leaves your mouth as you watch him stumble. “Now, tell me why you chose to hit there,” Cassian calls out.

“It was an easy opening. He wasn’t centering his weight evenly through both legs, meaning landing a hit on his weak point could open up another possible hit,” you explain. Cassian laughs in agreement and claps his hands.

“Spoken like a true student of mine,” he gloats, a wide smile spreading across his lips. You match his smile only for it to drop when something hard collides against the side of your face, causing your head to snap to the side. “Azriel, what the hell was that!” Cassian yells, moving towards the ring only to stop when you hold your hand up.

You could feel the blood begin to pool in your mouth, and you spit it out on the ground just outside of the ring. “What is your issue, you overgrown bat? This is a training exercise, not an actual match,” you snap, turning to face Azriel fully.

Azriel rolls his shoulders back and keeps his gaze locked on you. “Well, a new lesson learned: don’t take your eyes off of me. In a battle, they won’t just sit there and wait for you to finish talking to Cassian,” he says, sending another jab towards you, causing you to shuffle back, hitting the edge of the ring. You could feel your shadows start to vibrate against your skin, but you reel them back in, refusing to let them do your bidding. “What? Cassian isn’t sitting there telling you how to fight so you can’t defend yourself?” He taunts, landing a swift kick into your side.

Cassian clenches his jaw as he bites back a growl. “Azriel, we’re meant to be teaching her the basics, not cornering her and expecting her to fight back,” he snaps, taking a step closer. You had never seen pure rage on Azriel until now. The look he sent Cassian stopped him in his tracks.

“She’s learning, isn’t she?” He snaps, turning his gaze back on you. “Come on, fight back. I know that you know how to. Stop hiding behind this act of yours and take me on.” Your chest begins to heave as you try to dodge the multiple jabs and kicks he sends your way. Spinning on your heel, you aim for his shoulder in hopes of knocking him off balance.

You saw it before you ever even felt it. It felt like it all happened in slow motion as his fist connected with your ribs, a defined crack echoing around you, and his foot came up to press against your stomach before launching you backward, hitting the pole behind you. The vibration of your teeth chattering together felt as if it would split your skull open. The ringing in your ears caused you to grunt as your vision blurred, catching a glimpse of the screams and yells directed towards Azriel.

A cool essence spreads over your body as you lay there, your back pressed against the pole. Then your body feels like it’s on fire, the heat overwhelming. Your shadows whisper in your ear, cheering you on once your vision clears. You couldn’t get Azriel’s smug look out of your head and something about that made you snap. You felt the burning sensation pool at your fingertips just before you let out a loud scream, launching for Azriel, your shadows shooting out to battle his own, pushing him back. You weren’t sure how you did it, but you landed jab after jab against his side and back, your skin burning holes into his leathers. It wasn’t until you had him pinned against the ground that you drew your hand back, a ball of fire appearing in it. You missed how his eyes widened in horror at the sight of the flame; at that moment, you wouldn’t have cared. All you wanted to do was hurt him; you wanted to destroy him.

Before anything could happen, you felt arms wrap around you before a pained yell sounded, drawing you back to reality. You were back against the ground, Cassian off to the side clutching his arm and Azriel frozen to the spot where you had him pinned. Your eyes widen as you shift closer to Cassian, freezing as he flinches at your movement. “I’m sorry,” you whisper quietly, emotions wracking your body. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened; I didn’t mean to.”

Cassian stands slowly, Nesta running up beside him as she watches you. When Cassian takes a step towards you, you take a step back. “Y/N, it’s okay; I know you didn’t mean to,” he says, reaching out toward you. With another shake of your head, you turn on your heel and book back inside.

---

Your bedroom felt a lot colder than usual. You weren’t sure if it was because your skin was cooling off or if it was the guilt that was eating you alive. You sat on the bench placed under the window, your eyes trained on the city below. You hadn’t lashed out like that before, not since waking up in the woods. Those violent thoughts that plagued your mind just moments ago made you a complete stranger to yourself. As your door slowly opened, you turned your head to come face to face with Nesta and Mor. “I know what I did, I don’t need a reminder,” you mumbled, turning back towards the window.

Nesta placed herself down next to you and grabbed your hand gently. “I’m not here to yell at you; we all know it was an accident. Cassian knew what he was doing,” she said gently, drawing your attention back towards her.

Mor placed a hand on your shoulder with a wide smile. “If we’re being honest, we’ve never seen anyone take Azriel on like that, nor have we seen him actually scared. If I’m being completely honest, it was kind of hot,” she hummed, pulling a laugh from Nesta. It was no secret that the three of you would shamelessly flirt with one another, although it was more friendly than romantic; Cassian often complained that it was as if Nesta was more your mate than his.

Your smile faded as you cleared your throat. “That’s the thing, I don’t want people to fear me. I snapped and I could’ve killed Azriel. I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it, but I took it too far for myself. I don’t even know what my abilities are capable of, and I’m scared that if I lash out again, I’ll actually hurt one of you.” Nesta’s eyes softened as she grabbed your face gently, her eyes searching yours.

“You won’t hurt us, not on purpose. We’re still trying to figure out your memories, and your newfound abilities are a question too, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to stop helping you. If anything, Rhys and the others are more determined to help,” she spoke softly, caressing your cheek with her thumbs. She was silent for a moment before she spoke again. “Why don’t you come train with the Valkyries this weekend? Cassian is taking us to the mountains where we can do more intense training. Cassian wanted to extend the invitation, but he didn’t want to crowd you after earlier. I also think it would be good for you to get away from here and take a break from this room.” If there was one thing about Nesta, it was how quickly she took on that sisterly role when it came to you.

Nodding your head, you looked to Mor, who only gave you a supportive nod. “Nesta’s right. Besides the occasional journey into Velaris, you’ve been cooped up in here for the past four months. Maybe this getaway will help in some way.”

Running your hands over your legs, you nodded quickly and stood as you moved around your room to pack your bags. “So, how angry is Azriel that I just attempted to burn his face off?” You asked suddenly, drawing a loud laugh from Mor, causing a smile to spread across your face.

“Oh, he was livid. You should’ve heard the rant he went on while Cassian bandaged his arms. I’m pretty sure his head was about to explode. It’s quite amusing honestly, seeing how much you get under his skin. Rhysand and I used to test his limits to find what makes him tick, but he was always so composed,” she hummed, picking at her nails. “Azriel is a strange one, yes, but I just cannot grasp why he dislikes you so much.”

You shrugged as you packed some training leathers into your bag along with some ointment for any soreness you’re sure to feel. “I’m not sure either. For whatever reason, he’s under the impression that I actually remember my entire life and I’m playing you all. Rhys even tried to tell him that any memory that I have is locked away tight. Do I feel like there’s a reason as to why I’m here? Yes, but even that keeps me up all night trying to remember even the smallest detail.”

Nesta hummed in acknowledgment as she set herself on your bed. “Maybe the training will help open some doors. Cassian wants to find what makes you tick so we can learn how to work with those abilities of yours, shadows included. This is why he opted for the mountains so that way if you decided to level anything, at least it’s the forest,” she shrugged, placing a few of your daggers into the bag.

Once you finished, you looked between them and smiled. “I think I’m ready; I agree that this is what’s best for me,” you said softly, turning as Cassian threw your bedroom door open, a wide smile on his face. He wrapped his arms around you and lifted you into a hug.

“I knew you’d come. Before we leave, Rhys wants to discuss some matters with you, so why don’t you go down there, and we’ll meet you in the living room when you’re done,” he set you down and slung your bag over his shoulder. Nodding towards the door, he motioned for you to leave, and you did, just after you gave Nesta a nervous smile.

---

The chair you sat in was uncomfortable as you endured Rhysand's gaze. He sat across from you with his hands folded and elbows resting on the desk, his eyes fixed on you, waiting for you to make a run for it. The soft tick of the clock caught your attention before he cleared his throat. “I heard about what happened during training,” he started. You opened your mouth to argue but shut it when he raised his hand. “I’m not mad; Azriel went too far today, and honestly, he needed that reality check.” You let out a relieved sigh and relaxed, the chair suddenly becoming much more comfortable.

“What I wanted to talk to you about is work. You’ve been here for four months, and we’re nearing month five. I wanted to offer you a position in my court. You communicate well with others, and you’ve done a lot to assist me with the issues we face in the court. I want to take you on as an emissary for the Night Court. I have every reason to believe that you’ll do well,” he said, not missing the flash of surprise in your eyes.

“An emissary? But why?” You couldn’t help but ask the question. The offer alone was shocking to you. Sure, you wanted a place in Rhysand’s court, but a position like that was too important and easy for you to screw up if you, for some reason, decided to snap like you did earlier today.

“Because you deserve it. You help me with paperwork, and you have a ton of great ideas. We’re nearing the season where I’m needed, but I can’t be everywhere at once. Having you by my side during meetings would make things easier. You have ideas that can make life easier among the courts, or methods to help areas that are struggling. I need those ideas there with me. Now that I have a family, I can’t always be in different courts to meet with them, and that’s where I need you. I can’t send Cassian since he destroyed a building in Summer. I trust you, and I know you question that a lot, but I know you can handle it. You don’t need to agree now, but think about it while you’re away for the weekend, and when you get back, you can tell me your decision then,” he said, keeping his violet eyes trained on you.

You shifted in the seat as you thought over his words. You knew the other hidden reasons behind his words, and you couldn’t blame him. You knew this could be a way to trigger memories for you when you visit courts. It was also a way for you to get away from the townhouse and the House of Wind. It would open an opportunity to prove yourself more to the Inner Circle, to prove that you can help them. Sucking in a deep breath, you nodded. “Okay, I’ll tell you my decision after we get back.”

Rhysand nodded and stood, motioning to the door. “You may go. Just keep in mind you are the only one who knows that I’m offering this to you. I haven’t told the Inner Circle, so keep my trust in you in mind when determining your decision.” As you stood, you gave him a small bow of your head in thanks before walking out of the room towards the living room. As you entered, Cassian and Nesta stood, their eyes shining.

Cassian smiled down at you, and Nesta looped her arm through yours. “Let’s go,” he said as he began to walk beside you and Nesta. Noticing your silence, he frowned and looked at you. “Are you alright?” He asked, tilting his head slightly.

Nodding, you gave him a reassuring smile and hugged Nesta’s arm closer to you. “Yeah, let’s go.” Cassian gave you a hesitant nod and led you out the door. Your mind was busy with thoughts about the conversation with Rhysand moments ago, but you couldn’t shake the strange feeling that gnawed at you. You couldn’t ignore the darkness that clawed at you from deep within, a darkness you accidentally woke.

[kyleoreillylover]

Chapter 3- Time

Series Summary/Masterlist

word count: 13,537

tag list: @southerngirl41 @venusesworld @jeysbae @reci1996 @tbonesteakwithasideofmashngrav @hope4more @selena-tyler-564 @saintaquarius @whatdoeseverybodywant @raya-hunter01

warnings: wrestling related violence, manipulation, mentions of cheating.

Chapter Summary: It's time for your test. You have a choice to make. Will you finally get your revenge on Becky and take what's rightfully yours, that title? Will you choose your best friends for over 20 years over Roman, or will you finally be selfish and choose yourself for once? Will you finally put away your kind heartedness in favor for retribution? Only time will tell.

a/n: This chapter is my favorite one that I have written, so I hope you guys enjoy! Also there will be a big time jump in the next chapter from 2020 to 2022, so be prepared for that lol. Love you guys and thank you for reading my silly little stories <3

liked by uceyjucey, trinityfatu, beckylynch, jimmyuso and 600,00 others

y/n: bleeding out red and gonna be dripping out in gold 💋 #eliminationchamber #rawwomenschampionship

view all comments:

user: mother looks so freaking good!!!

user: red hair era makes me go feral

samizaynwwe: wishing you the best of luck <3

↳user: omg this is so cute!! I miss their friendship 😩😭

↳user: more like relationship 😭 friends do not look at each other like the way they used to look at one another 😭

↳y/n: you already know that, you picked out the gear for me 

user: the fact that ur still competing when ur bestie has a whole broken arm

↳user: and what do u want her to do? forfeit her title match cause becky got attacked by some rando? pls exit this comment section and never return

user: why all the red suddenly... 👀

↳user: why question it when she looks so good in red 🥰

Beckylynchwwe: may the best women win. 🤝 Love you <3

↳y/n: may the best women win 🤝 Lyt <3

user: you better win!!! 

uceyjucey: red looks good on you 🩸

↳y/n: you already know that, you picked out the gear for me 😒♥️

↳uceyjucey: that just means I got good taste ;)

↳user: what's going on here???

↳user: idk but i’m loving it

"Becky, are you sure you should be competing in this type of match like this?"

Your concerned voice rang out in the locker room as you leaned against the wall, looking at Becky who was wrapping her injured arm with a supportive bandage. Her fiery red hair cascaded down her shoulders as she glanced up, meeting your eyes with a determined look.

"I have no other choice," Becky replied, a steely resolve evident in her tone.  She continued wrapping up her injured arm, securing it carefully. You stared at it with a unreadable expression on your face, your worries etched in the furrow of your brow. Becky noticed your concern and paused, meeting your gaze once more.

"You always have a choice." You retorted sharply, expressing your concern for her well being.

Becky sighed, a mixture of frustration and determination evident in her eyes. "I know Y/N," Becky said softly, her voice tinged with both determination and a hint of vulnerability. "But I can't back down from this. I've worked too hard to get here, and I won't let anything—no injury, no setback, no attacker—stop me."

You nodded, understanding the gravity of her words. "I get it, Becky. I just don't want to see you hurt any further. This match is brutal, and with your arm—"

Becky cut you off gently, her eyes reflecting a mix of gratitude and determination. "I appreciate your concern, I truly do. But I've made up my mind. I'm stepping into that ring, and I'm going to give it my all."

There was a moment of silence as you both exchanged looks filled with unspoken understanding. Despite your worries, you knew Becky's determination was unshakeable, and you knew that no matter what you said, she wouldn't change her decision.

With a a sigh, you relented, realizing that your words might not dissuade her from her chosen path.

"Alright, Becky. I'll be right there, rooting for you," you said, offering your support despite your reservations. "May the best women win." You offered her your hand, giving her a firm shake before offering a supportive hug. Becky reciprocated the hug, her fiery spirit burning even in the face of adversity.

"Maybe the best women win." Becky mumbled into your jacket, tightening her grip on you like you were all she had before letting go. You gave her a smile that was wiped away when you left the room. The cameras that were waiting for you caught it, and Kayla Braxton, who looked eager to see you before the match, rushed forward, holding a microphone.

"Y/N, could we have a moment of your time before the Elimination Chamber match?" Kayla's voice carried a sense of urgency as she positioned herself to get the best shot for the viewers tuning in.

You offered a quick nod, acknowledging Kayla's request before making your way down the corridor, cameras trailing behind. The anticipation for your upcoming match was palpable in the air, the buzzing energy of the arena adding to the already charged atmosphere.

Kayla posed her first question, her voice projecting professionalism despite the evident excitement. "Y/N, you're about to enter the Elimination Chamber match for the Raw Women's Championship. With Becky Lynch injured and the odds against you, how do you plan to approach this match?"

Your expression shifted to one of confusion and determination, a resolve etched on your face. "Odds stacked against me? Kayla, you clearly didn't do your research before coming to me. I am the "odds." The word rolled off your tongue with a confident smirk.

 "Those other competitors are probably hoping for me to be the last one released from the pod so they have a better chance. But guess what? I thrive in this kind of environment. I have fun in this kind of enviornment." Your voice turned cold yet fiery at the same time as  you continued, your eyes focused on the camera.

"Shayna, Natalya, Becky, Nia, and Auska wanna act like they have the upper hand? Newsflash, I beat Shayna and Natalya last week, and they showed me that they are nothing but speed bumps on my road to victory. As for the others, I will happily stomp on them on my way to the top. Let's not forget I am the woman that broke Ronda Rousey so badly she had to go take another vacation cause she couldn't handle taking that title from me, and she's the one that won!" 

You giggled at Kayla, the fervor in your voice matching the intensity of the situation. "So, in case anyone's forgotten, I am the Princess of Pain." You paused for a moment, a sly grin crossing your face. "And I plan to remind everyone why that's the case when I walk out with that Raw Women's Championship tonight."

Kayla gulped at the intense proclamation, her eyes widening as she attempted to maintain her professional composure. Your demeanor was not your normal one; it was a blend of anger, determination, and a hint of ferocity that spoke volumes about your mindset entering the match.

The aura you exuded was one of someone willing to destroy themselves to destroy their opponents,  channeling a potent mix of confidence and aggression that was unlike you to have before you get in the ring.

"And I have to ask, do you feel guilty going into this match knowing you might have to hurt an injured Becky to secure the title?" Kayla's question hung in the air, her gaze expectant as she awaited your response.

Your expression shifted, the fire in your eyes dimming slightly as you considered the weight of Kayla's inquiry. "Kayla, let's get something straight," you began, your tone calmer yet laced with determination. "This isn't about hurting Becky. This is about competition, about proving myself in that ring. Becky and I have mutual respect, and if she's stepping into that Chamber, she knows what's at stake just as much as I do."

You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts before continuing. "If she wants to go into this match injured, then she needs to be prepared for the consequences. I won't hold back, not because I want to hurt her, but because in that ring, we're all fighting for the same thing—the championship. Becky knows that as much as anyone else in that Chamber. It's every women for herself, and there are no friends once that bell rings. I respect Becky, but I won't let sentimentality cloud my goal—becoming the Raw Women's Champion."

Kayla nodded understandingly, her demeanor maintaining its professional facade despite the charged nature of your response. "And my last question, how do you respond to claims made by a now injured Seth Rollins- who was taken out of his match- that you were the one who attacked Becky?"

You internally smiled at the mention of Seth being injured, but your expression remained serious and composed. "Seth's accusations are baseless and unfounded. I have no reason to attack Becky, especially not before a match of this magnitude. As much as Seth may want to stir controversy, I'm solely focused on this Elimination Chamber match and claiming what I rightfully deserve—the Raw Women's Championship."

Kayla nodded, giving you a bright smile. "Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Y/N. Best of luck in the match tonight."

You nodded in acknowledgment, offering a quick, determined smile before the cameras panned away and the backstage scene transitioned into the electrifying arena. 

It was almost time.

All you felt was red hot anger as you were putting on your gear. Your skin was on fire, your thoughts were racing at a million miles per hour, and the sensation of frustration coursed through your veins like a wildfire.

 All you could think of was finally getting your hands on Becky and hurting her like she hurt you. Slamming her into the steel. Throwing her into the glass pod and reveling in her agony. Sticking that knife into her back like she had done to you and making her feel what you felt. All of those thoughts made your skin feel even hotter, and you barely registered the voice calling out for you from outside the bathroom.

"Y/N, pretty girl, you finished yet? Match starts in 10 and I wanna see you in your pretty gear." Knocking accompanied Jey's  expectant yet concerned tone, and you jumped at the sudden interruption, momentarily pulling you out of the dark thoughts swirling in your mind. Your breathing was ragged, your hands slightly trembling as you tried to compose yourself. 

"Yeah, gimme a sec." You   replied, your voice low and cold, trying to mask the turmoil brewing within. You took a deep breath, attempting to steady your emotions, knowing you couldn't afford to let this rage control you before the match.

Quickly finishing up, you emerged from the bathroom, wearing your wrestling gear—a crimson ensemble that matched the intensity of your emotions, and opened the locker room door.

Jey was waiting, and any words he was gonna say were quickly forgotten as he took in your beauty. Your beautiful crimson gear hugging your body perfectly, red makeup accentuating your fierce expression, your sun-kissed brown skin on display making Jey's mouth water. It took everything in him to not kiss you right then and there.

"Damn." Jey whispered out, eyes darkening at the sight of you and trying to not look down at your gear and instead maintain eye contact. "You look incredible, Y/N."

You forced a small smile, though your eyes still held a hint of the lingering anger. "Thanks, Jey." You appreciated his compliment, but your mind was preoccupied with the upcoming match and the intense emotions swirling within you. 

"You don't look too bad yourself." Not too bad was an understandment, Jey looked like a greek god; sporting his gold chain and his abs on full display since he was shirtless underneath his black jacket that showed off his muscles. The tension between the two of you was undeniable, the charged atmosphere only adding to the intensity of the moment. 

Jey stepped closer to you and gently put his hand on your shoulder, his touch warm and reassuring.  "Hey, you're gonna do great out there. I know you're feeling a lot right now, but don't let it consume you. Stay focused, okay? You're the Princess of Pain for a reason." 

His hand left your shoulder and cupped your cheek, stroking your cheek gently with his thumb.

Your breath hitched slightly at the contact, the warmth of his hand making you get out of your head, if only for a little while. You looked up into his honey-brown eyes that seemed to lighten up just for you  before they grew serious again, mirroring the emotions swirling within you. 

"What's wrong?' Jey softly asked, his concern palpable in his gaze.

You shook your head, trying to brush off his concerns, but his thumb remained on your cheek, gentle yet insistent. "It's nothing, just pre-match nerves. I'll be fine once I'm out there." 

Despite your attempt to downplay your emotions, Jey knew you better than to take your words at face value. He observed you for a moment, and it felt like he was staring into your soul, waiting for you to open up and share what was truly bothering you.

Finally, unable to resist the comfort Jey offered, you sighed, feeling the weight of the emotions crashing over you. "It's Becky," you admitted in a hushed tone, your voice barely above a whisper. "I can't shake off this anger. It's consuming me, and I know Roman told me to let it fester until the right moment, but I feel like I'm losing control."

Jey's face softened at your admission, and he gently brushed his thumb over your cheek again, offering you a comforting gesture. "I get it. But think about it. Finally getting your revenge, taking her down and showing her she can't mess with you again, that's your big moment. And you're gonna have that moment." 

Despite his words, you felt the anger lick at your insides like a relentless flame, almost drowning out Jey's comforting words. You blinked, trying to refocus on his face, to ground yourself in his calming presence.

"I want that moment, Jey. I want to make her pay for what she did to me." The intensity in your voice matched the ferocity in your eyes. "But you don't understand. Once I get out there,  I don't know if I can control it. I don't know if I can stop myself from going too far." 

That was the understandment of the year. You've had this problem for years, you weren't called the Princess of Pain without a reason. It was why you tried for so many years to be the good guy, to fight against the darkness inside you. Sami and Kevin were usually the ones who helped you keep it at bay, but they weren't here this time. They wouldn't be able to pull you back if things got too out of hand. 

You've never let your anger out like this before except for one time in the NXT when Kevin cost you your NXT Women's Championship after you took Sami's side in their feud. 

That night haunted you- and the moments that followed it haunted you as well. You attacked Kevin in a fit of rage backstage, and injured him, fighting him all the way to the parking lot and breaking his arm in the process.

Sami wasn't in the arena to calm you down, and when the security guards finally sepeated you from Kevin,  your eyes red with anger and tears, you found a empty spot to sit at to get away from everyone.

You felt like crying until you had no tears left,  feeling the guilt and shame consume you. But before you could, a tap on your shoulder made you look up, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. 

It was Bray Wyatt, his serene yet enigmatic presence somehow calming the storm raging within you. He sat beside you, not saying anything at first, just offering his silent support. The two of you didn't speak until you eventually found the words amiss the storm of emotions you were experiencing.

"What do you want?" You snapped at Bray, the anger still boiling under your skin, not understanding why he was approaching you at such a vulnerable moment.

Bray didn't flinch at your outburst, his calm demeanor unwavering. "I don't want anything from you, Y/N. I'm here because I understand your pain. I see the turmoil within you, and I'm here to offer guidance if you're willing to accept it."

You scoffed, feeling a mixture of frustration and confusion. "Guidance? What do you know about my pain? About what I'm feeling right now?"

Bray leaned in closer, his piercing gaze fixed on you. "I know more than you think. I've danced with darkness, embraced it, and found my way back. I see the same struggle in you. The anger, the hurt, it's consuming you, because you are scared of it. But you have a choice. You can either be scared of it and push it away, but that will only worsen it, or you can embrace it, acknowledge it, and learn that it is a part of you. The choice is yours, Y/N."

His words resonated within you, cutting through the chaos in your mind with a clarity you hadn't felt in a long time. You looked at Bray, a mix of emotions still swirling within you, but his calm demeanor somehow grounding you in the moment.

"What do I do?" you asked, your voice softer, a hint of vulnerability breaking through the facade you had built.

Bray smiled gently, his eyes holding a depth of understanding. "You will see." With that, Bray stood up and left, leaving you with a sense of intrigue and contemplation. The memory of that encounter with Bray Wyatt was etched in your mind, his enigmatic guidance lingering as you grappled with controlling the anger brewing within you.

Back in the present moment with Jey, you felt a pang of that same uncertainty and inner turmoil, knowing that this time, you might not have someone like Bray Wyatt, Sami or Kevin to guide you through the tumultuous waves of anger and darkness that threatened to consume you.

Jey's voice pulled you out of the memories, his concern evident in his expression. "Hey, listen to me." He gently cupped your face with both hands, his touch grounding you in the present.  "I can stop you if things get too out of hand. You know that, right? I won't let you hurt yourself."

You blinked, the sincerity in Jey's eyes cutting through the tempest within you.

"Jey, I appreciate that. I really do," you began, your voice wavering slightly as you tried to express your gratitude, "but this isn't something you can just step in and stop. Not this time. I don't even know if I can control it myself."

You felt a rush of anger and gripped Jey's wrist tightly, the intensity of your emotions almost palpable. "I'm just scared that no one will be able to pull me back from the edge this time."

Jey's gaze softened, his hands gently squeezing your shoulders in a reassuring manner. He knew you had a side to you that he never really saw before until Becky confessed about her and Seth, a side that was darker, more intense, and harbored deep-seated emotions.

But he didn't care about the darkness within you. He cared about the beautiful women that was capable of so much more, the woman who was passionate, driven, and compassionate.

"I won't let you go over the edge." Jey shook his head and grabbed your hand firmly. "You focus on winning, and when you come back, I'll be waiting for you no matter what."

You shook your head, pulling your hand out of his grasp. Jey didn't understand. You could barely control it, how could he pull you from the edge if you were teetering on it? How could he tell you that you'd come back unscathed when the rage within threatened to consume you entirely? 

"You can't promise that." You harshly whispered , your voice carrying a mix of fear and frustration. "You don't understand, Jey. This isn't something you can just control or stop. I don't even know if I can."

Jey grabbed your hand back, his eyes locked with yours in a silent exchange of emotions. "I understand that I can help you with this."

"Don't waste your time trying when you can't." You tightened your grip on Jey's hand, your voice desperate yet resigned. "You can't save me from myself, Jey. No one can."

"I can."

"No one can Jey!" You broke free of his grasp, the emotions swirling within you too overwhelming to contain. Tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of frustration, anger, and fear threatening to spill over. You turned away from Jey, unable to bear the weight of his comforting gaze. "And I won't risk let you get hurt because of me."

"You can't take that choice away from me. I want take the risk." Jey's words made you turn back to him with a glare that conveyed a mix of emotions. You wanted to push him away, to protect him from yourself yet a part of you longed for his comforting presence, his unwavering support.

"Well too bad, cause I'm not letting you take it." You moved to grab your jacket, but Jey stepped in front of you, blocking your path and capturing your attention with a resolute gaze.

"I'm not gon' let you push me away cause I care about you." Jey stated firmly, his voice unwavering as he held your gaze. "I'll fight for you, even if it's against yourself."

"I can't let you do that." You tried to push past him, but Jey just stood his ground, refusing to let you leave.

"You can't stop me from caring about you, Y/N."

"Yes, I can."

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can!" You raised your voice, frustration and desperation seeping through every word. "I'm not worth it, Jey! I'm not worth risking yourself for!"

Jey remained steadfast, his gaze unwavering as he reached out to gently cup your face, making you freeze in your tracks. His touch was warm and comforting, his eyes locking onto yours with a sense of determination that matched your own.

"You are worth it, Y/N," he said softly, his voice laced with conviction. "You're worth every bit of effort, every bit of care. I won't let you believe otherwise." Tears welled up in your eyes, a mix of emotions churning within you. You wanted to push him away, but his touch, his proximity, just him in general was making you feel things you hadn't allowed yourself to feel in a long time. 

"I can't hurt you..." You mumbled softly, Jey's expression softened even more, his thumb gently brushing away a tear that escaped from your eye.

"I can handle the pain, pretty girl, trust me." Something about his words made you internally heat up, feeling a mix of emotions at his unwavering support and care. 

Jey felt the shift in your demeanor, felt the tension that threatened to explode between the two of you, and when he looked down at your perfectly glossed lips, he couldn't take it anymore.

The only warning you got was him pulling you into his arms before his lips pressed against yours in a heated kiss. When he felt your lips not moving, his brain started working again and panic began to fill his body.

Holy shit, he was kissing you.

Jey quickly pulled away, his eyes wide with shock at what he had just done. He looked at you and expected to see a disguted expression, but instead, he was met with a look of surprise mixed with something else, something he couldn't quite decipher.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Jey stammered, taking a step back and running a hand through his hair, his gaze fixed anywhere but on you. "I understand if you wanna slap me or not wanna be friends anymore-" Jey was cut off by your sudden movement as you grabbed his face and pulled him into another kiss, this time more fervent and filled with an intensity that surprised both of you.

Your lips moved against his in a desperate embrace, your hands sliding around his neck as you deepened the kiss, feeling a mix of emotions surging through you.

Jey's initial shock melted away, replaced by a raw passion as he responded to your kiss with equal fervor, his hands finding their way to your waist, pulling you closer.

The intensity of the moment, the emotions swirling within you, they all converged in that fiery kiss, a collision of desire, desperation, and unspoken words. His lips were rough yet soft against yours, the taste of him sending a wave of warmth through your body.

For a moment, it felt like everything else faded away—the anger, the turmoil, the impending match—leaving only the two of you in that charged, passionate moment.

Breaking the kiss, you both panted slightly, the air around you thick with unspoken emotions. Jey's eyes met yours, a mix of surprise and longing reflected in his gaze, mirroring the emotions you felt within yourself. You both stood there, caught in a moment of unspoken connection, the tension between you palpable yet strangely comforting.

"I... I don't know what came over me," Jey finally managed to say, his voice filled with a mix of confusion and desire, his eyes searching yours for some semblance of understanding.

You shook your head slightly, trying to process the intensity of what just happened, the flood of emotions still coursing through you. "I don't either," you admitted softly, your heart racing with a combination of excitement and uncertainty.

A knock on the door startled you both, making you snap out of the moment. Jey quickly composed himself, adjusting his jacket as he moved away from you, trying to regain his composure. You took a deep breath, attempting to steady your racing heartbeat and clear your mind.

"Y/N, it's time. We're about to start," a voice called from outside the door, interrupting the charged atmosphere that lingered between you. 

"Give me a minute." You called out in response, your voice slightly shaky as you tried to regain your focus.

You turned to Jey, who looked like he was still reeling from the unexpected turn of events, and walked over to him, placing your hand on his arm, gingerly making your way to his chest before grabbing his chain, gently tugging on it to bring him down to your level. Both your skins felt like they were still ablaze with the remnants of the intense moment you shared, and you locked eyes with him, a mix of emotions reflecting in your gaze.

"We'll talk about this later, so don't worry about it." You ran your hand along Jey's jawline, your touch light yet conveying a sense of reassurance. "But I promise you we're good. Wish me luck?"

Jey's eyes softened at your words, and he wished that he could say more, that he could express the myriad of emotions swirling within him.

Instead, he gave you a nod, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Good luck, pretty girl. Kill it out there." he replied softly, his voice filled with a mixture of support and love. You gave him a blinding smile, and he watched as you let go of his chain, your hand sliding away from his jawline, and made your way towards the door, steeling yourself for the intense match ahead.

He just hoped that you'd come back to him unscathed.

You glared through your pod, your gaze fixated on Becky as she made her entrance into the Elimination Chamber match. The sight of her intensified the emotions within you, the anger and resentment threatening to consume you once again.

But this time yo would let it consume you, let it overwhelm your senses and take control of your actions. The anger boiled inside you like a tempest, urging you to unleash it upon her, to make her feel the pain and anguish you had harbored since the betrayal.

Natalya and Becky were to start the match, and as the countdown began for the first pod to open, you focused on preparing yourself mentally for the chaos that was about to unfold.

After 30 minutes- it was like a war zone. Natalya was the first to be eliminated by a roll-up by Shayna, who turned on her. One of the pods were broken when Tamina speared Nia through it, who eliminated Nia. Becky was nursing her arm after Shayna targeted it and you eliminated her before she could tap Becky out with your finisher.

And you and Auska were tangled in the corner, exchanging fierce strikes and attempts to gain the upper hand. You slammed her into the steel, blood pouring out of your mouth from where you'd been hit by her kicks.

The match had taken a toll on everyone, leaving bruises, blood, and fatigue as the competitors fought tooth and nail for the coveted Raw Women's Championship.

As you grappled with Asuka, you could barely think, you were barely yourself. You let the darker side of you take over, your vision tunneling to focus solely on inflicting pain and securing victory at any cost. The crowd roared, the steel structure reverberated with the impact of bodies colliding, but it was all a distant symphony to you, drowned out by the internal fury consuming your thoughts.

"You are not ready for Auska!" Asuka screamed at you as she slammed your head into the steel over and over again. But all that did was make you smile with every hit, making Auska angrier and try to fight you even harder.

The pain seared through your body, but you welcomed it, reveling in the agony as it fueled the fire within you. You grunted with each impact, the taste of blood on your lips as sweet as candy.

With a sudden burst of strength, you managed to reverse Auska's assault, throwing her into the steel structure with a resounding crash. You saw her wince in pain, but you didn't relent. Your movements were almost mechanical, your mind was clouded, your vision hazy with the red mist of aggression and determination.

You grabbed her head and slammed it against the steel again, and again, and again, each impact echoing through the chamber. The crowd's chants and screams merged into a cacophony, but your focus remained singular—inflict pain, show no mercy, and secure victory at any cost.

Blood trickled down your face from the earlier blows, mixing with the crimson of your attire, making you look like the darkness that consumed you. The intense desire to win, the need to prove your dominance, all these emotions drove you forward, blurring the lines between competition and the dark turmoil within.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Tamina barreling down at you, and you managed to sidestep her attack just in time, causing her to crash into Auska with a fierce impact. You laughed darkly, the sound almost maniacal as you watched both of them reel in pain, before you grabbed Auska and hauled her into the ring for the pin. 

"Auska has been eliminated!" The announcer's voice boomed through the arena as your victory was declared. But there was no elation in your expression, no triumphant celebration. Instead, a cold, almost detached look adorned your face as you stood over Auska, panting heavily, your gaze fixated on the fallen competitor.

Your gaze went to Becky, who was still nursing her arm, watching the chaos unfold in the ring. The sight of her triggered a surge of raw emotions within you, the memories of her betrayal and your desire for retribution resurfacing with an overwhelming intensity. You were consumed by an uncontrollable rage, the darkness within you clawing its way to the surface as you eyed Becky with an unspoken promise of vengeance.

Your gaze went from Becky, to Tamina, then Becky again. You smiled and moved closer to Becky, who was already on her feet, albeit visibly weakened from the match. "The two of us, get Tamina. Then it'll just be us." 

Becky nodded, understanding the unspoken plan as the two of you cautiously approached Tamina, who was trying to recover from the previous onslaught. As a team, you and Becky coordinated your attacks, trying to neutralize Tamina's advantage.

You grabbed her from behind, while Becky kicked her in the midsection, trying to weaken her. But Tamina was stronger, and she powered out of your grip, sending you to the mat with a forceful shove. Becky, in her weakened state, tried to fight back, but Tamina's power was overwhelming.

You staggered to your feet, the pain and exhaustion beginning to take its toll, but the fire within you burned fiercely. You knew you had to take down Tamina to secure a chance at the championship, and you couldn't let anything—especially the betrayal that fueled your rage—distract you from that goal.

As Tamina advanced towards Becky, you launched yourself at her, driving your shoulder into her midsection and knocking her down. You and Becky seized the opportunity, both delivering a series of coordinated strikes, attempting to weaken Tamina further. Tamina realized that this could mark the end for her and swiftly ran away from the both of you, climbing the cage and trying to escape.

You and Becky quickly went after her, scaling the cage and trying to get her. Tamina climbed onto the top of the pod to try and get away , but you and Becky both grabbed Tamina's legs to prevent her escape. She struggled, thrashing wildly in an attempt to break free from your grip, but both you and Becky held on, determined to keep her from fleeing. 

With a combined effort, you and Becky managed to pull Tamina back down kick her, making her slump in the corner of the pod.

"How do you like that, Tamina!" You yelled at her , your voice filled with a mix of exhilaration and a hint of vindication.

You turned away from her and realized Becky was dangling off the edge of the pod, struggling to maintain her balance. In that split second, the memories hit you— when she had told you she and Seth were seeing each other behind your back — and you knew the choice you had to make. 

"Give me your hand, Becks." You extended your hand to Becky, offering her support to pull her back up onto the pod. 

Becky sighed a breath of relief, her grip on the edge faltering slightly. "I... I can't reach, Y/N!" Her voice was strained, panic evident in her eyes as she struggled to maintain her precarious position.

"I got you!" You moved towards her and grabbed her hand, and for a moment it felt like everything between the two of you was perfect; that nothing had changed, that she still held your trust.

And then you kicked her away from the edge of the pod.

"Oh my god Corey, Y/N just kicked Becky off the pod!" Cole's shocked voice was drowned out by the cheers and gasps from the crowd as the camera panned onto the sadistic smirk on your face. 

You licked your lips as the sound of Becky's body hitting the mat echoed through the arena, a sickening thud that sent a chill down your spine.

The chaos around you, the loud exclamations from the commentators, the roar of the audience—it all seemed distant as your gaze remained fixated on Becky's prone form.

This is what you wanted. This is what she deserved. This is what you needed.

You turned to Tamina, who was knocked out next to you, and grabbed her from the corner of the pod, yanking her by the head and standing her up.

You grabbed her by the throat and looked down at how high you guys were up, and turned back to her with a chilling smile and choke slamming her all the way down to the ring, dropping the two of you from the top of the pod, crashing violently onto the mat below.

The pain from falling felt like a rush of adrenaline, a mix of exhilaration and agony that surged through your body. You laughed at Tamina's howl of pain and rolled her over to pin her.

"Tamina has been eliminated!"

The announcer's voice echoed through the arena, but all you could focus on was Becky's fallen form a few feet away from you. The sight of her lying motionless on the floor made you smile with a twisted sense of satisfaction.

The rush of power, the vindication, the culmination of all the betrayal and hurt fueled your actions. The cheers and gasps from the crowd became distant echoes in your ears, drowned out by the chaotic symphony of your own emotions.

You slowly stood up, never breaking eye contact with Becky's motionless figure. It was like a hunter relishing the sight of their prey, except in this instance, the prey was someone who had betrayed your trust, someone whose actions had fueled an uncontrollable rage within you.

You stalked toward Becky, every step deliberate, every movement calculated. The audience's reaction was a mix of shock, disbelief, and some even cheering at the audacity of your actions. But you were oblivious to it all, fixated solely on the fallen figure before you.

Standing over Becky's motionless body, a myriad of emotions churned within you—anger, hurt, and a dark satisfaction. The memories of betrayal flooded your mind, intensifying the storm of emotions raging inside you.

"You thought I forgot what you did to me, Becky?" Your voice was low, filled with a venomous intensity as you grabbed her head, your fingers curling around her hair. The crowd's hushed murmurs created a haunting backdrop to the tense moment, but your focus remained solely on Becky, on the feelings that surged within you.

"You thought you could just betray me and walk away unscathed?" The words dripped with malice as you pulled Becky up to her knees, your grip unyielding. Her eyes fluttered open, registering the danger in your demeanor as fear etched across her face.

"Y/N, please... I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I never wanted..." Becky's voice trembled, the desperation evident in her plea.

"You never wanted? You never wanted what, Becky?" Your voice rose, punctuated with bitterness and anger. "You never wanted to hurt me? You never wanted to lie to me?"

The memories flooded back, vivid and painful. Both good and bad.

When she hugged you the moment you won your first main roster title. When you snuck from everyone on a international tour in Italy from your time on the Indies and had gotten lost. When you both got signed to the WWE and threw a party and gotten so drunk Sami and Kevin had to carry you both back to your hotel rooms.

These memories flooded back in an instant, as if they were tugging at the last strings of sanity within you. But then you flickered back to the moment when that trust was shattered, when deceit became the foundation of your relationship with Becky.

"I trusted you! I trusted you more than anyone else!" Your voice cracked with emotion, the hurt resurfacing with a vengeance. "And you destroyed it all!"

Becky's attempts to plead or apologize fell on deaf ears. The betrayal had festered deep within, feeding the darkness that had consumed you. Your grip tightened on her hair, a vengeful glare fixed on her.

"But now... now you'll pay for what you did." With a sudden burst of rage, you slammed Becky's head onto the cold, unforgiving steel floor, a sickening thud echoing through the chamber.

The crowd's gasps and cries blended into a cacophony as you repeated the action, each strike fueled by the pain of betrayal, each impact a testament to the seething anger within you. The once vibrant and fearless Becky Lynch was now at your mercy, helpless against the onslaught.

"You thought I forgot everything you did to me?!" You screamed at her as you pushed her head into the steel cage, the clang of metal echoing the chaos within your own mind.

Becky's struggles weakened, her body becoming limp under the relentless assault. The rush of power surged through you with each strike, a grim satisfaction stemming from the torment inflicted upon the person who had shattered your trust.

"You don't get to apologize, Becky! You don't get to plead for forgiveness!" The words tore out of you, laced with an uncontainable rage that had simmered beneath the surface for far too long. Each blow against the steel was a manifestation of the pain she had caused, an outlet for the betrayal that had gnawed at your soul.

You made her stand up, her knees buckling under the strain, her eyes pleading for mercy. But there was no mercy left in you, only the searing desire for retribution. With a cruel determination, you hoisted Becky up, making her lean against the unforgiving steel structure of the chamber.

"This is for everything you didi to me!" The words dripped with a cold ferocity as you speared her into the pod, the glass shattering upon impact. Becky's body crumpled amidst the debris, and you breathed out angrily at the sight.

The rush of adrenaline coursed through your veins, a mixture of vindication and a twisted sense of satisfaction washing over you as you stood there, heaving with exertion and emotion.

But you didn't stop there. You slowly stood up and grabbed her hair, pulling her up once again. Despite the exhaustion creeping into your bones, the rage and hurt refused to ebb away. You wanted her to feel every ounce of pain you had endured.

"You made me suffer, Becky. Now it's your turn." Your voice was a venomous whisper as you dragged her towards the chamber's unforgiving steel walls. The walls were slightly open from where Nia and Tamina had crashed into earlier, creating jagged edges that now served as a menacing backdrop to your vendetta.

You threw Becky down into the middle of the steel, and with a primal roar, slammed the steel wall into her injured arm. 

Becky's anguished scream pierced the air. Her body convulsed with pain, her face contorted in agony as she writhed on the unforgiving steel surface.  You slammed the door into her injured arm again and again, the metallic clang merging with her cries of agony. Each strike was fueled by the betrayal you felt, the pent-up rage finding release in the physical torment you were inflicting.

"You wanna have Seth? Go right ahead, I'll have something better- your title." You  spat out the words, each syllable filled with the bitterness of betrayal as you continued the onslaught. "The two of you can destroyed each other, for all I care!"

The chamber's atmosphere had turned eerily silent, save for Becky's agonized screams and the brutal sound of the steel door colliding with her arm. You didnt stop until Becky lay there, barely conscious, the torment etched into her features. Her arm hung at an unnatural angle, broken and battered from the relentless assault.

You leaned down and took the cast off of her injured arm, tossing it aside with disdain, before leaning down and retrieving the metal pole you had broken her arm with yesterday and smiled at the sight of it. Holding it aloft, a crazed grin etched on your face, you relished in the feeling of power coursing through your veins.

"You really thought I forgave you, Becky?  You thought I'd forget what you did? You thought wrong." Your voice was a sinister growl, dripping with malice as you towered over the battered and broken figure of Becky.

She lay there, barely able to move, her gaze filled with pain and shock as she looked up at you. She hoped to see mercy in your eyes, but all she found was a cold, unyielding resolve.

"You are worth nothing. The only thing worthy you have is that Raw Women's Championship, and I'm taking it." You lifted the metal pole, ready to strike again, your eyes filled with a ruthless determination. "And I'll take it by any means necessary."

Becky's howl of pain echoed through the chamber as you crashed the pole into her injured arm once more, a vicious determination driving each strike. The chamber seemed to amplify her anguished cries, the sound bouncing off the steel walls in a haunting symphony. You didn't relent, your movements fueled by an unquenchable thirst for revenge, the need to make her suffer as you had suffered.

You finally stopped when Becky's body convulsed in agony, her voice hoarse from screaming. The once defiant and confident champion now lay broken and defenseless beneath your relentless assault. You threw the metal pole to the side, staring down at her with a mix of satisfaction and a lingering bitterness.

This was it. This was your moment. This was your time.

You hauled Becky up by her hair, her body limp and broken, and dragged her to the ring, pulling her lifeless form through the ropes. The audience watched in shocked silence as you tossed her into the ring, her body barely responsive to the impact against the mat.

With a cold determination, you climbed into the ring, standing over Becky's battered form. The taste of vengeance was bitter on your tongue, but it was the only thing that gave you a semblance of satisfaction amidst the turmoil within. The desire for retribution had driven you to this point, and there was no turning back.

"You did this to yourself." You stated coldly, gently cradling Becky's head in your hands, forcing her to look up at you. Her eyes, once full of fire and confidence, were now clouded with pain and fear. But you felt no remorse, no empathy for the woman lying broken at your feet.

"This is what happens when you betray someone who trusted you, Becky," you continued, your voice laced with a chilling calmness. "You thought you could walk over me, but now, you lie here broken, defeated."

You pushed Becky's head back down to the mat with a disdainful shove, watching her writhe in pain. The taste of victory was bittersweet, the turmoil within you still raging despite the apparent domination you displayed.

"You said I was a sweet girl, Becky," you sneered, your voice tinged with contempt. "But you've awoken the darkness in me. And now, you'll pay the price."

You pulled her into a guittoine submission-courtesy of Roman- and tightened the hold with a sadistic grin, relishing in the agony evident on Becky's face and grabbing her injured arm and twisting it in a way that elicited a scream of agony from her.

"You made me this way, Becky!" Your voice echoed through the chamber, filled with a raw mixture of anger and vindication. "You made me unleash this darkness!"

You maintained the hold, ignoring the desperation in Becky's eyes, the pleas for mercy that fell on deaf ears. Every second felt like an eternity, and despite Becky's best efforts to resist, the pain and exhaustion took their toll. Her struggles weakened, her body succumbing to the relentless submission hold, and she tapped out in excruciating pain.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the match and your victory. The referee rushed in to separate you from Becky, who lay there, broken and defeated, the once-champion now a mere shadow of her former self.

But you didn't let go. You pushed at the security that tried to separate you, tightening even more and refusing to release the hold. The crowd's gasps turned into a chorus of boos as the officials struggled to pry you off, but your grip remained unyielding, a testament to the rage and vindictiveness that had consumed you.

"Let go, Y/N! You've won! It's over!" The referee's voice was a desperate plea, but you were deaf to reason. The need for retribution blinded you, overshadowing any semblance of rationality

"You see what you did?" You screamed at Becky, your voice filled with a chilling mix of triumph and fury.

"This is your fault! You made me do this!" The darkness was beginning to take over completely, clouding your thoughts and senses. The chaos around you seemed distant as you held on to the submission, refusing to release Becky even as she lay there, gasping for air, her face contorted in agony.

"Pretty girl, it's finished, you did it! Let her go!"

That was the only warning you got before Jey's arms wrapped around your waist and forcefully pulled you off of Becky, breaking the hold. You let Jey drag you away, the remnants of your dark rage still coursing through your veins. This was the backup plan- if you were too deep in your own darkness, Jey would be there to pull you back. You relaxed into his embrace, the remnants of your rage simmering beneath the surface but still boiling.

"You won. You did it, you won!" Jey exclaimed into your ear, attemtping to bring you back to reality. You managed a smile, a twisted satisfaction lingering on your lips.

"Gimme her fucking title!" You heard Jimmy arguing with the ref, and looked up to see him holding the Raw Women's Championship, a smile on his face as he moved towards you.

"You fucking won!" Jimmy cheered, hugging you tightly, lifting you off the ground in celebration. Elation and adrenaline is all you felt as you hugged him back tightly before he set you down, handing you your Raw Women's Championship.

The gold felt cold against your skin, a tangible symbol of the victory you had fought so ruthlessly for. The cheers from the audience were a distant hum as you clutched the title, a dark satisfaction washing over you.

"I won." You whispered softly, but Jey heard you. He smiled softly at you- you finally did it, finally captured the championship you sought so relentlessly.

"You did, and you deserve it." He opened his arms for you, and you didn't think twice before falling into the embrace, the chaotic storm within you weirdly subsiding slightly when you fell into his arms. You didn't have time to dwell on it before he pulled away and gently cupped your face in his hands. "You deserve it. Now show everyone why you the champ."

You looked down at the Raw Women's Championship in your hands, the gold reflecting the dim lights of the chamber, and held it high above your head, the sinister satisfaction still lingering in your eyes.

You finally had what you wanted, the Raw Women's Championship, and the whole women's locker room fearing your name. You didn't care if they respected you, because fear was the true power.

Jimmy and Jey stood on either side of you, holding up their hands in a one sign, the three of you standing tall, an embodiment of ruthless dominance, and leaving more questions than answers in the minds of the WWE Universe.

Why were you with the Bloodline? Why did you unleash such brutality on Becky Lynch? Why were Jimmy and Jey by your side in this calculated rampage?

They'd get their answers soon.

"You did good. I'm proud of you." Roman smiled at you with a hint of approval  and something else you couldn't pick up on as you came to the back, bringing you into a dark embrace. "You showed them what it means to be a true champion," he continued, his voice low and resonant. "No one will underestimate you again."

You nodded at Roman when he pulled away from you, the darkness in his eyes mirroring the intensity you felt within yourself. "I appreciate it, Roman. It's just the beginning. There's a lot more they haven't seen yet." Your voice held a quiet determination, the fire within you still burning bright. Roman nodded in understanding, a sense of mutual understanding passing between the two of you.

Roman turned to Jimmy and Jey, who were standing next to you with a mix of satisfaction, concern, and pride. "You guys need to deliver too. Jey, get ready for your match. Jimmy, go back to the locker room, I'll take Y/N to the trainers and we'll be back."

Jey furrowed his brows at Roman's command, a slight tension in the air. "You sure you're good, Y/N?" he asked, his concern genuine.

You gave a nod, the dark satisfaction still lingering in your eyes. "I'm fine, Jey. Just go out there and do what you do best. We'll handle the aftermath later."

Jey was confused at Roman's decision. Roman never offered to take someone to the trainers unless there was a significant reason. He didn't think it was smart to have your anger clash with Roman's but he trusted Roman's judgment and giving you one last hug, headed towards the entrance ramp for his match.

Roman  led you towards the trainers' area, his steps deliberate and his expression unreadable. Anyone who tried to cross your path would be stopped by Roman's glare that cut through the air like a knife. As you walked side by side with Roman, you couldn't help but feel a sense of validation. You had proven your worth in the most brutal way possible, and now you were under the protection of the Tribal Chief himself.

The trainers' room was a mix of antiseptic smells and the low hum of conversations. The medical staff looked up as Roman entered, their eyes widening as they took in the sight of you, still in your ring gear, holding the Raw Women's Championship. Roman's presence demanded respect, and they quickly shuffled to clear a space for you.

Roman gestured for you to take a seat on one of the medical benches. "Sit down. Let them check you out," he commanded, his voice carrying a stern authority.

The trainers approached cautiously, assessing the visible signs of the intense match you had just endured. They checked for any potential injuries, bruises, or signs of a concussion, but you remained stoic and unresponsive to their efforts. Roman observed with a watchful eye, ensuring that everything was done to his satisfaction.

As the medical staff continued their examination, Roman's gaze never wavered from you. There was a complex mix of emotions in his eyes—pride, perhaps a hint of admiration, and something else that remained elusive. He didn't say much, but his silent presence spoke volumes.

"Don't do that." He piped up when you tried to calm your anger down slightly, his voice cutting through the silence in the room.

"What?" you asked, genuinely confused.

"Don't try to suppress it. Embrace it," Roman said, his tone unwavering. "You showed them what you're capable of tonight. Let that darkness fuel your dominance. The more they fear you, the more control you have. I need that tonight."

You nodded at Roman's cold wisdom, but furrowed your brows at his last sentence. "What do you mean, 'I need that tonight'?"

Roman's expression remained enigmatic, a cryptic smile playing on his lips. "You trust me right? Trust our friendship?"

You nodded slowly, uncertain about where this conversation was heading but choosing to trust Roman's judgment. "Of course, Roman. You know I do."

"And I've never betrayed you, right?" 

You stared into Roman's eyes, searching for any hidden motives. "No, Roman. You've always had my back."

"Good." Roman's smile deepened, revealing a rare sense of camaraderie. "Tonight, you've proven yourself. Now, I need you to trust me a little more. I have a plan, and I need you to play a crucial part in it. Can I count on you?"

You studied Roman's face, his eyes holding a mysterious glint. "Of course, Roman. I trust you," you replied, determination in your voice. "Whatever you need, I'm in."

Roman's smile widened. "Against my better judgement, and my ego, I know that Kevin will be the one to win that number one contender's match against Jey tonight. I need him to be the one challenging for my Universal Championship. But I also need him softened up, vulnerable. That's where you come in."

Roman's plan started to unfold, and you listened intently to his instructions. As he laid out the details, you realized the significance of your role in the larger scheme. The darkness within you, the dominance you had displayed in the Elimination Chamber, was now a strategic asset for Roman's plan.

"I need you to make a statement, Y/N. Show everyone in that match, and especially Kevin Owens, that you're not just a champion—they should fear you," Roman explained, his voice a low rumble that resonated with authority.

"I know you and Kevin have a history, and you and Sami as well. But when the cards are on the table, Kevin will always choose to backstab you. Will always choose to betray you. How many years have you given him chances? How many times has he let you down?"

Roman's words resonated, stirring up the memories of past betrayals and the pain that accompanied them. 

"When was the last time you gave him a chance and he didn't disappoint?" Roman's question hung in the air, the weight of the truth behind it sinking in. "This is your opportunity, Y/N. Take it. Show everyone that you're not to be taken lightly, and in doing so, finally get the revenge for the years of betrayals. And as for Sami-"

Roman sensed your smoldering anger and paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully.

"Sami Zayn is an annoyance, a distraction. He might be your friend, so I am giving you the leniency to deal with him swiftly, efficiently. But what matters is  making it clear that anyone who stands in your way will face the consequences."

If you were in any other mental state, and didn't feel the smoldering anger  within you, you would have hesitated and questioned Roman's motives, told him you wouldn't hurt your best friends.

But in this current state, you couldn't think clearly. The darkness within you, fueled by the betrayal and the desire for retribution, clouded your judgment, and Roman's words only resonated and fueled that anger.

And that was Roman's plan all along.

Make you so angry and unleashing that dark side so that you couldn't see your morals in jeapordy, the bigger picture, couldn't question the morality of the actions he was asking you to take. In that moment, you were a pawn in his game, a tool to achieve his objectives.

"I know it's a lot to take in, but trust me, Y/N. This is the path we need to walk to secure our dominance," Roman concluded, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that brooked no argument. "As long as you're with me, as long as you embrace that darkness within you, there's nothing we can't achieve."

You nodded, a cold determination settling within you. The darkness, once a mere undercurrent, now surged to the forefront, shaping your thoughts and actions. "I'm with you, Roman. Whatever it takes to secure our dominance."

Roman clasped your shoulder, a silent acknowledgment passing between the two of you. "Get ready, Y/N. Go to Jimmy. It's time to make a statement."

You watched on the screen as the Men's Elimination Chamber match was taking place, bodies being violently thrown against the steel, the carnage unfolding inside the chamber. The raw aggression and brutality were palpable, and you couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of satisfaction, knowing that you had set the tone for the night.

Jey, Sami, Kevin, Daniel Bryan, and Cesaro were all engaged in a fierce battle for the opportunity to challenge Roman Reigns for the Universal Championship. As the chaos unfolded, you could feel the anticipation building, knowing that your part in Roman's plan was about to come into play.

You winced as Kevin tossed Sami into the steel structure, the impact echoing through the arena. Jimmy patted your back as a silent comfort, and Roman turned to you at the movement. 

"You see what he does to his so called best friends, Y/N?" Roman's voice held a mix of disdain and calculated satisfaction. "This is your chance to make them understand, to make Kevin Owens understand, that betrayal comes with consequences."

You nodded in agreement, your eyes fixed on the screen as the chaos continued to unfold. You let out a sigh of relief as Kevin hit Sami with a stunner to pin him for the three count. At least you didn't have to hurt your Sami directly, but the next part of Roman's plan was now in motion.

Cesaro and Bryan were fighting on the top of one of the pods, each trying to gain the upper hand. Kevin and Jey were slamming each other into the steel cage, the sounds of bodies colliding reverberating through the arena. The anticipation in the air was palpable, and Roman's plan was inching closer to its climax.

1.

Cesaro was pinned by Daniel, who had just delivered a brutal running knee. The referee counted, and Cesaro was eliminated.

2. 

Jey managed to eliminate Daniel Bryan with a superkick, leaving only Kevin Owens and Jey Uso as the remaining competitors.

3.

Kevin hit a Pop-up Powerbomb on Jey Uso followed by a stunner, securing the victory and earning the right to challenge Roman Reigns for the Universal Championship.

"Now!" Roman roared at you, a command that snapped you out of your intense focus on the screen.

 It was time.

Jey, angry after being eliminated, stomped on Kevin, not allowing him a moment of respite after the grueling match. You followed Roman's lead, storming down the ramp with a determined stride and Jimmy right behind you.

Jey had Kevin trapped in between the steel steps and the chamber wall, delivering relentless stomps and kicks. The exhaustion from the match was evident on Kevin's face, but the anger in Jey's eyes fueled the assault.

"Y/N, make your move," Roman's voice echoed through the arena, urging you to unleash the darkness within.

“Y/N!” Jey screamed through the cell, beckoning you to join him.

 You looked to Roman; and any slight hesitation you might’ve had was washed away by the adrenaline coursing through your veins and Roman’s relentless gaze that was a silent demand for loyalty. If you backed out now, the consequences were grave. 

You stepped into the chamber, the cold steel beneath your boots sending shivers up your spine. Jey motioned for you to come closer to him, and it was like he sensed your inner conflict, giving you a comforting and encouraging look.

The anticipation in the air was palpable as you approached Jey, the steel structure enclosing both of you in a sinister dance of betrayal and loyalty.

“Do it!” Jey roared, his eyes filled with intensity. He kicked Kevin to make sure he stayed down before turning back to you, holding the steel doors open. “Do it, Y/N!”

And for just a second, you felt the weight of the moment, torn between loyalty and the darkness Roman demanded. You were sobered from the darkness, and for a split second, you stared at Kevins face, and wondered, just wondered, if the roles were switched, if Kevin would choose you. 

And just like that, the moment ended. 

“Ahh!” Kevin groaned out in pain when you took over from Jey, and just like you did with Becky, slammed the steel cage into Kevin’s arm, the steel deliciously meeting flesh.

 The impact reverberated through the chamber, a savage exclamation of your allegiance to the Tribal Chief. You slammed the steel into his arm over and over again, yelling at Kevin to stay down. 

“I told you to stay out of my business!” You screamed with each vicious strike, the sound echoing in the unforgiving steel chamber. “I told you to stay away from Roman! But you never listen!”

 Your voice was filled with a mix of anger, hurt, and frustration, the echoes bouncing off the cold steel walls. “You never listen to me! You never CHOOSE ME!” 

You rammed the steel cage into Kevin's arm one final time before letting go of the steel, leaving him writhing in pain on the unforgiving steel floor. You were breathing just as heavily as you ran your hands across the cold steel cage, the darkness within you pulsating with a newfound intensity. 

Your loyalty to Roman was now etched in the vicious strikes you delivered to Kevin. The symbolism of the steel meeting flesh resonated with the dominance Roman sought, and you had become the instrument of his will.

Jey wrapping an arm around your shoulder jolted you out of your thoughts, and you looked up at him, meeting his beautiful brown eyes that no longer held fear about your loyalty.  

The Tribal Chief stood outside the chamber, a satisfied smirk on his face, witnessing the culmination of your allegiance. The crowd's mixed reactions were drowned out by the satisfaction in Roman's gaze.

 Jey squeezed your shoulder and brought you closer to him as Roman made his way towards the ring, the Universal Championship draped over his shoulder. 

“I’m proud of you.” Jey whispered into your ear, his words barely audible over the fading echoes of the chaos you had unleashed. His lips grazed your ear, and the tension in the chamber slowly shifted to a moment of eerie calm. “Kevin didn’t pick you, but I chose you, Y/N.”

You know this is the part where the guilt should hit you, but it didn’t. Why would you feel guilty? You warned Kevin that you were a force to be reckoned with, that loyalty to Roman Reigns was your priority.

And what did he do?

Kevin defied your warnings, and now he had to pay the price. And you knew that if the roles were reversed and you were in Kevin's place, he wouldn't have shown you any mercy. 

So why should you extend a courtesy he wouldn't offer?

You would only feel guilty if you hurt Sami, and thankfully Sami was eliminated before the crucial moment.  Was it fate? You didn’t know. But what you did know was that you had proven your allegiance to Roman in the most brutal fashion, and you didn’t regret it one bit. 

Your head snapped towards Roman when he entered the ring, a smirk of satisfaction on his face. The Tribal Chief's presence commanded attention, and he nodded approvingly at the scene before him—the aftermath of your loyalty displayed in a brutal ballet of steel and flesh.

"You've made the right choice," Roman declared, his voice authoritative. He brought you into a dominant embrace, his hand gripping the back of your neck. The intensity in his eyes mirrored the satisfaction of a plan executed flawlessly. “I’m proud of you. Do you acknowledge me?”

You pulled away from Roman, a cold determination in your eyes. "I acknowledge you, Tribal Chief," you responded, the weight of those words resonating with a sense of finality.

Roman smiled at your words, a predatory glint in his eyes. His plan had come to fruition, and now he held not only the Universal Championship but also an unwavering allegiance from you, and that would not only hurt Kevin physically, but also leave an indelible mark on his psyche, solidify his dominance in the WWE and also secure your place by his side.

And that was the night you fully embraced the darkness, fully committing to Roman Reigns as the Tribal Chief.

"You wanted a match with me, Kevin?" Roman continued, tauntingly addressing the writhing Kevin Owens on the cold steel floor. He leaned down, his face inches from Kevin's, a sinister smile playing on his lips.

"Well, you got it. Get up." Roman straightened up, never breaking eye contact with Kevin. "Jey, Jimmy, grab him. Y/N, stand back," Roman commanded, and you complied without hesitation.

Jey and Jimmy, sensing Roman's desire for a prolonged punishment, dragged Kevin up. The once defiant fighter now seemed broken and battered, a shell of his former self.

Roman circled Kevin like a predator closing in on its prey. He reveled in the moment, savoring the defeat he orchestrated. The crowd's cheers or jeers were inconsequential; all that mattered was the dominance he asserted over the WWE and the loyalty you had pledged.

Jey and Jimmy lowered Kevin to the ground on his knees, and Roman chuckled at the pitiful sight before him. The Tribal Chief stood tall, the Universal Championship glistening in the harsh arena lights. Roman's eyes bore into Kevin, the intensity of his gaze almost suffocating.

"Look at me." When Kevin refused to comply, Roman harshly yanked Kevin's face up by his hair. "I said, look at me."

Kevin's eyes met Roman's, a mix of defiance and pain still lingering. Roman chuckled again, a dark amusement coloring the sound.

"You thought you could beat me? Challenge me? Take my place?" Roman's voice dripped with disdain, his words a venomous reminder of the consequences of defiance. "You never had a chance, Kevin."

With a swift motion, Roman delivered a thunderous Superman Punch, the impact sending Kevin sprawling to the mat. The crowd's reactions were drowned out by the dominant presence of the Tribal Chief.

"Your mistake was not acknowledging me," Roman continued, pacing around the fallen Kevin. "You see, Y/N understands. Loyalty is everything. And you seriously thought she would choose you over me when you have no loyalty? When you betrayed her trust time and time again?" Roman's voice was filled with a cold certainty, his words cutting through the air like a razor.

"I might hurt her, but I won't let anyone else hurt her." Kevin spat blood onto the cold steel floor, his defiance unwavering even in the face of such overwhelming odds. Roman chuckled at Kevin's feeble attempt to maintain his pride.

"You think she believes you Kevin? Look at her." Kevin weakly raised his head to glance at you. The conflict in your eyes was replaced with a steely resolve, a clear reflection of the choice you had made. Roman's smirk widened at the sight, the confirmation of your allegiance bringing him a sense of triumph.

"She will never forgive you. She will never be by your side again, she will never be your best friend again. And you know whose fault it is that she choose me? You." Roman laughed, a sinister satisfaction in his tone. "You pushed her away, and now she's where she belongs."

"You see, Y/N," Roman said, turning his attention to you, "this is the price of betrayal. Loyalty is not just a word; it's an action. And tonight, you've shown where your allegiance lies."

He gestured for you to step forward, and you did so with a mix of pride and reluctance. Roman handed you the Universal Championship, the weight of the title in your hands a symbolic gesture of your newfound allegiance.

"Finish it," Roman commanded, his eyes locked onto yours. The crowd's murmurs and gasps filled the arena as you stood over Kevin, holding the championship that now represented your loyalty to the Tribal Chief.

Your eyes locked with Kevins, and you could see the pain and betrayal in his gaze. The conflict within you briefly resurfaced, but Roman's dominance held you in its grip.

"You're not their blood, and even if you were, they'd never treat you like family." Kevin coughed out, his words strained. The bitter taste of defeat mixed with defiance lingered in the air.

"And you are?" You spat at him, the darkness within you responding to Roman's influence. The crowd's boos and cheers seemed distant, drowned out by the intensity of the moment.

"You know the answer to that." Kevin's voice trembled with a mix of pain and disappointment, steeling himself for what he knew was coming. For a second, you hesitated, the weight of Kevin's words lingering in the air. But then, as if on cue, Roman's gaze bore into yours, a silent command to complete your task.

You slammed the title onto Kevin's face with a resounding thud, making him crumple to the mat, sealing your fate with Kevin's defeat.

Roman laughed proudly, raising your hand along with the Universal Championship. The arena erupted in a mix of cheers and boos, but none of it mattered in the face of the dominance Roman had asserted, and you had willingly embraced.

"Ring the bell." Roman ordered at the referee outside the ring, who seemed hesitant but complied with Roman's command. Roman easily pinned Kevin for the three-count, making Kevin's efforts in vain.

The referee signaled for the bell, declaring Roman Reigns the winner, the Universal Champion who had not only conquered Kevin Owens physically but also broken his spirit in the most ruthless manner with you by his side.

You had done it. Proven your loyalty, passed the test, proven that you are the champion you said you are, and that you were willing to go to any lengths for the Tribal Chief.

And as you stared at Kevin lying defeated on the cold steel mat, the red blood drying on his face, your own title wrapped around your waist, you felt a surge of power, the intoxicating allure of victory and loyalty.

You looked down at the red stained title in your hands, the metallic taste of triumph in the air.

Red.

Red was definitely your favorite color now.

"I think we gotta talk about us now." Jey moaned out as you straddled his waist and kissed down his neck in the confines of your hotel room, high on adrenaline and power. The room was dimly lit, and the shadows played on the walls, mirroring the complexities of the choices you had made in the ring.

"Later." You sucked on the sweet spot on his neck, hoping to distract him from the conversation you needed to have. The taste of victory still lingered on your lips, and the primal energy from the ring had seeped into the intimacy of the hotel room.

Jey's hands gripped your hips, his breath hitching at your touch. "Wait, wait-fuck." Jey groaned as you licked a stripe on his chest, savoring the lingering taste of triumph.

"Y/N," he managed to say, catching your attention. You paused, looking into his eyes, the darkness within you still flickering like a flame.

"Is this not okay?" You asked softly, gently tracing your fingers along his jawline. Jey sighed, a mix of pleasure and contemplation in his eyes.

"It's more than okay. It's perfect," he admitted, his hands now cupping your face. "But you made a choice, a powerful one. You embraced the darkness for Roman, for us."

You leaned back, studying Jey's expression. There was a vulnerability in his eyes, a desire to understand the depth of your commitment. "Jey, I did what I had to do. Roman needed me, and I made the right choice."

Jey nodded, but there was a hint of concern in his gaze. "Did you do it for just him, or for me too?"

You met Jey's gaze, your mind processing the weight of his question. The room, once filled with the aftermath of triumph, now felt heavy with unspoken truths. Your allegiance to Roman had solidified, but what did it mean for the connection you shared with Jey?

"I did it for both of you," you admitted, your voice steady. "I did it for the family, for the unity. Roman needed my loyalty, and in choosing him, I'm choosing all of us."

You shifted so that you were now sitting beside Jey, your fingers tracing abstract patterns on his chest. "I want to be with you, I want to have you in any way that you'll let me." You paused, the intensity of the moment hanging in the air. Jey remained silent, his eyes searching yours for sincerity.

"I want us to be powerful together, Jey," you continued, your voice a gentle whisper. "I don't want to lose what we have, but I had to prove myself to Roman, to the family. It doesn't change how I feel about you."

Jey sighed, his fingers gently grazing over your intertwined hands. "And how do you feel about me?"

You looked at him as if he should already know the answer. "Jey, I had the option to back away from all this, to grab that title and hit you with it, but I didn't. I chose this, I chose Roman, and I chose you. I feel… conflicted, yet empowered. This is the path I've taken, and I want you with me on this journey."

You tightened your grip on Jey's hand, seeking reassurance. "I like you, and I want us to be together. I want there to be an us. We can take it slow, I think we both need that after tonight."

Jey took in your words, the complexity of the situation reflected in his eyes. He nodded slowly, a mixture of understanding and acceptance in his expression. His beautiful brown eyes locked onto yours, and he brought your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles.

"I'm with you, Y/N," Jey said, his voice a reassuring murmur. "Whatever path you choose, I'm riding with you. Just promise me one thing."

You looked at him, waiting for his request.

"No matter what happens, no matter what Roman says or does, you never turn your back on me." Jey squeezed your hand even tighter. "I've had too many people turn their backs on me, and I can't handle losing you like that. Even if Kevin and Sami try to drive a wedge between us, promise me you won't let them succeed."

Jey pressed his forehead against yours, and you could feel the vulnerability in his plea. "Promise me you won't leave me."

"I promise, Jey," you whispered, your fingers gently tracing the contours of his face. "I won't turn my back on you. No matter what."

It felt like hours as you waited for Jey to respond. The room held its breath, the air heavy with unspoken emotions.

Finally, Jey broke out into a genuine, heartfelt smile, and in one swift motion, pulled you into his lap and brought you into a mind numbing kiss.

He licked at your lips, his hands exploring the contours of your body, a mixture of passion and reassurance in his touch. Every touch felt like heaven, every kiss felt like he was bringing you to life after the darkness of the ring.

"You can't leave me." That statement was backed up by the hard press of his lips against yours.

"I won't." A promise from you that was reassured with the soft caress of your tongue in his mouth. And for the rest of the night, the two of you lost yourselves in reassuring each other, not caring who heard or what consequences awaited in the world outside, and you realized that the anger subsided with every touch of his, and with every dampening of it came with an ease you only ever felt with one other person.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, that one other person stood outside your hotel room, heart dropping at the sounds of passion and commitment emanating from within. Sami had pretend to the hotel clerk that he was your manager, needing to check on you after the intense match.

The truth was, he wanted to make things right with you after seeing everything that happened tonight, wanted to try to get the woman he lov- the woman who was his best friend, back.

He had come bearing a bouquet of flowers, and two tickets to Montreal, to see your family that he knew you missed, ready to apologize and express his feelings. However, the sounds of intimacy between you and Jey shattered his hopes like fragile glass.

Sami's heart sank, realizing that he might have lost you for good. That should be him making you feel loved and wanted, not Jey. He leaned against the wall outside your room, the weight of the realization hitting him hard.

The bouquet of flowers in his hands and the gift bag suddenly felt like a pathetic offering in the face of the passion and commitment he could hear behind the door. The satisfaction he had at seeing Kevin broken in the ring was now overshadowed by the bitter taste of his own defeat in matters of the heart.

Sami took a deep breath, fighting back the emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He couldn't bring himself to knock on the door, to interrupt the intimate moment between you and Jey.

Instead, he turned away, his steps heavy as he walked down the corridor, leaving the flowers and tickets at your doorstep, a silent acknowledgment of his failed attempt to win you back.

Before he went to the elevator, the sadness that enveloped him left and was replaced by motivation. You were his best friend, and he couldn't let this be the end. Sami would find a way to make things right, to prove to you that he could change and be the person you needed.

As the elevator doors closed, Sami took a deep breath, a determined glint in his eyes. He wasn't gonna let Jey win this without a fight. Sami had lost the battle tonight, but he was ready to wage a war for your heart.

Sami would do anything to make you see that he was the one who truly cared about you, who had been there for you through thick and thin, to have you in his life.

Even if that took hours, days months, or years, he would find a way to win you back. He had some business to take care of first with matters of the IC title, but eventually he would focus on winning back your heart.

Sami Zayn walked away from your hotel room, determined to prove that he was the one who deserved your loyalty and love.

And he would do anything, even join the Bloodline, to prove it.

[destinygoldenstar]

Here is a very random pet peeve I have with Ninjago:

Why did we not get a Jay & Nya wedding?!

Like, March of the Oni he proposed to her and everything. Then we DON'T get a wedding? How does that work?!

I understand like Skybound trauma or something, so they might want something private, but they never address that.

It would be SO WHOLESOME.

Why did we not get a Jay & Nya wedding?!

I think I kinda know why. The Wildbrain era wanted to tonally de-age the ninja back into teenagers. And two ninja getting married would be not doing that.

This kinda goes for the posts I spoke about Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitsu where I talked about my big change being that there was NO reverting back into teenagers, and instead it was a continuation of their transition into adulthood.

Have the premiere of the season BE their wedding! It would be so adorable and a fresh change of pace!

Like have Jay wake up Zane (from that Aspheera/Ice Emperor nightmare) in a panic about his hair for this big day, have Zane help him out and try to calm Jay down because Jay would be such a nervous/excited wreck. (And have Zane's calming attempts fail miserably. It would be funny and both play into what I said in other posts)

Have Nya be hesitant about wearing a wedding dress due to Skybound trauma. Lloyd could be there and she could talk to him about it, but be vague cause he wouldn't remember Skybound. Like, "I'm worried that I won't get a say in something if I say the words, like I want this, but what if it all went horribly wrong? The greatest love stories always end in tragedy and... I don't want that to be the case for me."

(Which, you know, would be FORESHADOWING)

And Lloyd could be unsure what to say (because Harumi trauma) but still encourage her that nothing HAS to end horribly. They've been dating for years, and they know they can trust that Jay wouldn't hurt her. She wouldn't hurt him. That's the beauty of a relationship, that you can trust them. It's a dynamic they both want. Even if something bad were to happen, her family would always be there. (Insert surrogate siblings hug)

But also it'd make them both realize that Kai is not here when he should be.

He's downtown. He's trying to pick up a wedding gift for his sister. It is taking FOREVER. It's driving him nuts because impatient hothead. Eventually he just snaps when the shopkeeper says it's not done being cooked. In my head he just snatches it, sets fire on it, throws it in the box, and runs out of the shop, throwing money at them on the way out. The whole time, he's just trying to run to the monastery for the wedding, with SO MANY setbacks on the way. (Take Across the Spiderverse with Miles trying to get to his parents party with that cake, kinda what I picture)

Cole and Wu could be on catering, they could talk about Wu being freshly retired and Cole getting into the baking business. (And we could have a running joke about Cole trying to sneak in a bite of cake and someone slapping him away.)

Nya & P.I.X.A.L could have some gal talk when getting ready and the droid gal could be encouraging. (I feel like since the Oni Trilogy, Nya's been getting more comfortable with being feminine, and I'm all here for that, I think that's really cute development. She could be so against this girly talk but then she tries it here and actually likes it)

Ed and Edna being SO overbearing in the wedding. Just smothering all over their son and their new daughter in law.

Have Wu give their blessing, trying to comfort a still nervous Jay, and Jay could just have all those nerves vanish when Nya comes out.

All ninja but Kai are there because First Spinjitsu Master does not want him to be at his sister's wedding. And you could have whoever else you want there.

Have them have a happier stress-free re-phrase of their confessions in Skybound. Nya could talk about how she didn't have a lot of friends as a kid and knew nothing about love or relationships, but Jay was the one person she let into her heart, and despite her fears and insecurities in the past about herself, she knew she wanted him to be the one. She felt free with him, she felt free to have a voice and say she wanted to be with him for as long as she possibly could. That's her wish this day. Jay could talk about how he was always looking for bright opportunities for himself, but the brightest he could ever have was her, a courageous strong willed smart beautiful amazing girl loving him back and seeing him as he was as the best version of himself. That told him well enough that this was love.

(I imagine Cole is the crier because that just seems like fitting characterization to me)

"I now pronounce you yin and yang-"

And just don't have Wu finish the phrase because one of them just jumps on the other in adrenaline and excitement.

The after party Ed and Edna are, again, smothering all over the couple. Cole just loads up with cake (that only he touches because he made it and he's a bad cook). Zane and P.I.X.A.L could be dancing, everyone's having a good time...

And then FINALLY Kai shows up, busts open the monastery doors, and stands there panting and a wreck. He stops the whole party and everyone just stares at him like "what?"

Nya would proceed to yell at him for BEING LATE TO HIS OWN SISTER'S WEDDING, and they could argue about what happened because they're both stubborn like that.

And the wedding gift Kai got for her? It's charred up. Because he burned it with his fire and didn't let the shopkeeper take care of it.

But he had something else he picked up along the way, which was something from their childhood that Nya liked (you can decide what). And like that Nya's anger drops and he thanks him for it.

And Kai did not get Jay any wedding gifts because 'screw my in law'

Jay calling this out prompts him to dance with Nya, she obliges, and the little sibling moment is kinda ruined, leaving Kai in the dust. (Again, my other posts where I said Kai would be trying to keep things the same)

And Lloyd was by himself, sitting in a corner minding his own business. He's happy for them, but he also has a hard time being comfortable because of what happened with him and Harumi. So he's trying to distract himself with looking through some job opportunities in some newspapers. He can't find any. Kai could find him, surrogate brothers moment, he could notice Lloyd looking for crime on the newspaper, and because this is post the Oni Trilogy, crime has slowed down, and this is supposedly their happy ending. You know, 'and they got married and lived happily ever after' and all that. But Kai, not accepting that, kinda butts in and agrees to take Lloyd out to town tomorrow morning to go look for crime to stop, just like old times. And Lloyd would go along with it cause 'well I'm a seventeen year old and past due with getting a job'

(And Zane decides to go with them because he's in the same boat as Kai, so technically it's just Kai, Lloyd, & Zane running around looking for crime to stop rather than the whole team. The other three still go to the pyramid though.)

That's my dream reality of s11's premiere anyway.

But even if that wasn't the case, I have to ask cause it bugs me,

Why did we not get a Jay & Nya wedding?!

There you go, that's my content for Jaya week. It doesn't fit any of the bullet points for the week but oh well.

[oceanspray5]

Linh Cinder is epileptic because I say so and because you dont have your brain completely switch off due to water damage and then repaired just like that without some form of lasting damage (not to mention the various other times she had to be jump started again throughout the series mainly by Thorne).

Anyway so Cinder has epilepsy and its generalized epilepsy meaning she has no auras, just random seizures whenever her wiring and neurons are being all funky. She discovers it after experiencing absence seizures on Luna and wonders if its just her processor working over time with all the responsibilities now being heaped on her as Queen. The first month after abdicating once she's back in New Beijing she blacks out and then wakes up two hours later to a splitting headache, half the Rampion crew around her and the remaining half on their way. Her cybernetics specialist and a neurologist are there with her too when she discovers she has been diagnosed with epilepsy.

Cinder's seisures aren't frequent but she occasionally forgets to take her meds and she occasionally just hates how they make her feel. Kai is the one who always sits with her and every time she wakes up from a seizure he's sitting right next to her, without fail. He'll be doing paperwork sitting in bed but he won't leave her side and his hand is comforting on her shoulder or head so when she wakes up she knows she's safe.

Her temples hurt because they do anyway post-seizures in epilepsy but her facial muscles stretch out and clash with the metal in her skull too so they hurt a little too much and her jaw is sensitive for weeks and so either Kai or Winter (if she's available) massage her forehead and temples for her to ease the muscles and reduce extra swelling. Its soothing for Cinder who's never been touched so lovingly while she's sick before.

Its very frustrating for Cinder knowing that despite all her modifications to "fix" the disabilities caused by the burns Levana gave her, the one thing that can never be "fixed" is her brain. No amount of wiring can replace whatever issue is in her neural circuitry so it's a condition she has to live with and take medicine for. Frustration aside though, she has friends and is grateful she found a family who will take care of her if she ever happens to convulse because Adri would have done so much worse to her had Cinder discovered she was epileptic under that heinous woman's roof.

Cress is the one who understands Cinder's highs and lows when it comes to her anti-epileptics the best because she has experience with anxiety and depression. Scarlet understands the frustration and mood swings the drugs cause and tries to call Cinder every time she hears from Kai that her medicine is making her irritable. Meanwhile, Winter understands the pain of a brain that just "isn't right" and the struggle that comes with accepting the fact that something is wrong at all. She is the one who is best able to help Cinder accept the help she needs.

Wolf and Cinder sometimes just sit in silence together and it helps that they both understand what its like to have a part of you that's not bad or even wrong but just... different in a way that can be a struggle sometimes. It helps to have someone to talk to who they don't need to explain the frustration to.

Thorne tries, bless his soul, to cheer Cinder up. He takes her crown shopping or something equally ridiculous when she's in a mood because he knows the one thing she needs to not do after she has a seizure is stay trapped in her head thinking about the setbacks to her prior progress or else she'll drive herself insane.

Anyway in conclusion: Cinder's epilepsy isn't debilitating but it can be frustrating and the Rampion crew especially her loving husband Kaito come together to help ease Cinder whenever she's feeling down on herself because of the random seizures she's prone to experiencing.

[spockandawe]

Something something Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao as foils to each other, specifically in terms of their experience of family.

Jiang Cheng starts out surrounded by family. It's not perfect, certainly, and he's got a lot of understandable doubts about how much his father really loves him, but he is AWASH in open love and care from every other member of his family unit. And that all gets chipped away, piece by piece, tragedy after tragedy, until the only thing left to him is his dead sister's baby son.

Jin Guangyao was very well-loved by his mother. But both of them were mistreated, and once he was thrown out into the world, all of the hopes he had for his father's family were crushed under the heel of even more overt mistreatment. He finds a place with the Nie Sect, and his peers exploit and mock him. He's elevated to a position of authority, but then, uh, things happen. His father finally recognizes him, but even as part of the family, the overt mistreatment continues. He finds a wife, he finally gets his father to allow him to marry, and then the revelation--

That's not even close to an exhaustive list of the setbacks in his life's game of chutes and ladders, and there's some real variability in terms of like... personal culpability, incident to incident. But much like Jin Guangyao is also a foil for Wei Wuxian, there's a clear and tragic path for what led him to the point where he would make those bad decisions. And most tragically, to me, his life seems like... a search for safety and stability. In this world, that's easiest to achieve through family and/or sect structures, and it is genuinely heartbreaking how often he tries to reach for happiness or security and gets viciously slapped down.

(is there good jin guangyao & mianmian fic? because that would be a fascinating pair of characters to put in a blender)

By the time of story present, Jiang Cheng's lost everyone who ever loved him before the sunshot campaign, and Jin Guangyao has managed to claw out a safe place for himself, but his marriage was poisoned for him before it ever happened, and his son is dead and he absolutely refuses to try for another. And the link between them, of course, is Jin Ling.

There's some quiet bitter flavor to both those relationships, how Jin Ling's parents died is still an open wound for Jiang Cheng, and he was right there for his big sister's death. Jin Guangyao knows exactly who set off events leading to those deaths, and is directly present to see the ways Jin Ling is still very much hurting from that loss. But I still will die on the hill that both Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao are genuinely attempting to account for the shortfalls in their own childhoods with him.

Jiang Cheng goes behind the scenes to set him up for success, and doesn't scold him for not being good enough, like his mother did with her children. And despite the loud threats, Jin Ling is offended that anyone would think his uncle would ever lay a hand on him. Jin Guangyao grew up poor, and perhaps he doesn't address the emotional root causes of Jin Ling's tantrums, but he gives him an expensive spiritual dog. His father gave him impossibly difficult tasks and then punished him for failing, and Jin Ling is not given any consequences ever for being a bratty little shit. Instead, Jin Guangyao steps in to cover for him when Jiang Cheng arrives at Jinlintai after Jin Ling broke out his prisoner and ran away. These are not necessarily good executions of parenting techniques, but it's so clear to me that they're trying, and specifically trying not to pass along the ways they themselves suffered as children.

And in that sense, it's so fascinating that he's also the intersection for their two very small family units. He's the one person Jiang Cheng has left. Jin Guangyao has finally managed to get high enough that nobody else can stomp on his fingers as he climbs, and he's finally got a small little family that loves him. Jin Ling is a crucial pivot for the mdzs cast as a whole, nobody has ever nephew'd this hard in all of recorded history. But when these are the two adults most involved in raising him, he really puts their differing perspectives into sharp relief. For the two uncles he's closest to, on the one hand, 'this is all I have left', and on the other 'at least, finally, I have this'

[shortpplfedup]

My School President Episode 5: Ah, youth...

This show gets better every episode. So full disclosure: I love love LOVE musicals, and I did not expect this to actually be a musical, so when it was essentially cemented this episode with the final number that this isn't musical-adjacent, this isn't musical-esque, this is TOTALLY an actual musical...besties I ascended. I am 150% in the tank for this show. This week, Chinzhilla (and everybody else) get a dose of reality and retreat to their individual corners to think long and hard about the future, and our secondary couples reveal themselves.

Verse: What dreams may come

Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die You've gotta get up and try, try, try

P!nk | Try (2012)

I said it last ep, but this show is really so much about the importance of working toward your dreams and having somebody in your corner while you do that. This week Chinzhilla's setback isn't caused by any external factor, but by reality invading their little bubble. Attending guidance counseling sessions serves as a harsh reminder that there is an 'after': after Hot Wave, after high school. Adulthood is lurking right around the corner, and with it the realities of earning a living. And while playing in a band with your friends is fun, the reality is for most of these kids it will never pay the rent, as much as they dream of it.

Gun as our protagonist carries the lion's share of the angst here, because he doesn't have a backup plan, this is his only dream, and if it doesn't work out the stakes are much higher for him than for any of the others. His mother insists it's not his job to take care of her, but he sees how hard she works, and how exhausted she is, and how despite all of that she supports his dream, and his guilt is palpable. He can't imagine taking so much from her and not being able, in the end, to give anything back.

Tinn is having his own moments of doubt, questioning whether his dream of being a doctor is really his own or if it's his mother's. In episode 3, when he told Gun he became school president to help people, that wasn't all bullshit. Tinn's love language is clearly acts of service, that shows in everything he does for Gun this ep, including dragging him out of bed and whipping his ass into shape. Helping Gun helps Tinn, it makes him surer that he can give people what they need. And when Gun stumbles, when he breaks down, Tinn knows exactly what he needs then too.

Chorus: I only have eyes for you

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel Like you're less than fuckin' perfect Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing You're fuckin' perfect to me

P!nk | Fuckin' Perfect (2010)

Tinn is falling deeper in love by the day, and as he and Gun get closer, he gets more and more confident. He was outright flirting this ep, teasing Gun, complimenting him, being his cheerleader and almost his agent in a way. Tinn sees Gun so clearly, he sees his potential, he sees his flaws, he sees his talent, and he sees his weaknesses, he sees when he needs to be praised and when he needs a swift kick in the pants. As long as he's had this crush on Gun, now things are different; he actually KNOWS him now, he knows what drives him, what hurts him, what keeps him up at night. This isn't just a crush anymore, Tinn's falling in love.

Bridge: I'll be there

Right from the start You were a thief, you stole my heart And I, your willing victim I let you see the parts of me, that weren't all that pretty And with every touch you fixed them

P!nk ft. Nate Ruess | Just Give Me A Reason (2012)

And Gun is starting to fall just as hard for Tinn. His breakdown in Tinn's arms and Tinn both comforting him and alerting his mother that he isn't okay touched the soft squishy parts of him. He feels good about Tinn, and Tinn essentially declaring his intention to be with him and checking that he's ok with that allows him to acknowledge and accept that he feels good about Tinn in a romantic way. I love the conversation/interview in the band room and then the follow-on conversation they have lying next to the pool, because Gun is (surprisingly!) shy about liking Tinn, and it allows Tinn to now take the lead in this back-and-forth between them. His gentle teasing and Gun's shy smiles and blushes are a cute reversal of their dynamic, and I can't wait to see how it continues to unfold.

Ad Libs

I was surprisingly touched by Win and Sound, I didn't expect that to be so serious. It makes sense that somebody as diligent as Sound would get under slacker Win's skin and force him to face the fears that keep him from trying as hard as he can to make his dreams happen. The surprising part was how gentle and supportive Sound was with Win and how Win saw and appreciated that. Give me more of these two.

Tiw and Por is an interesting one and a bit left field, but again it's that...not opposites thing, but complementary thing? We've seen that Tiw is the wind beneath Tinn's dating wings; he's confident, he's bold, he's matter of fact, he doesn't mince words or mix matters, and a dose of that was exactly what Por needed.

I loved loved LOVED the closing number, when Ms. Gim starts singing and then the band members join in one by one, leading to them actually performing the song in the band room...fantastic. It's so hard to put a musical on screen in the modern age and make it feel fresh and of the moment instead of some retro holdover, and this show is doing such a good job of it. And next week it looks like there's a big dance number, which is my crack, so bring it on!

Gun's little jealous moment with the girls flirting with Tinn at the cafe was fun.

Tinn bringing back NobiTinn for the little faux interview...adorable. And Gun thought so too...

The way Gun held on to Tinn so tight as he sobbed into his shoulder...I have Feelings.

Ms. Gim is very astute, I think she sees what's happening between Tinn and Gun.

Tinn lying to his mother about his whereabouts is noted. Trouble is brewing over there.

The auntie in me is worried about Gun's back the way he keeps falling on it.

[hms-tardimpala]

Goldsickness collection: the recs!

Dragonsickness is a theme I love, it resonates with me with very much, and I had a great time reading fics to make this collection. Here are the eight I love the most and that make up this 376-pages-book.

As Befits a King by Ladysisyphus (explicit, 4,7k)

It was all too much to think about, so he thought about Thorin's hands.

This fic strikes a good balance between angst, hope and hot possessive sex. Thorin is teetering on the edge of madness here, despite Bilbo's best efforts.

Chains of Gold by Plooby (explicit, 4k)

He had not been in the king's chambers since their arrival, not since his youth, and the massive gilt doors opened only with groaning reluctance under his hands.

This is actually a sequel to the fic above, the authors worked on a series together. It's just as brilliant, hot and well-written. You can see the old Thorin under the madness.

What was promised by Paranoid_fridge (unrated, 6,9k)

Perhaps Bilbo is being selfish. But even though he knows that Thorin's mind has grown clouded from cursed gold, he is unwilling to give up on the intimacy they share. And when Thorin - with his mind still bespelled - asks for his hand, Bilbo does not decline either. With armies before the gate and a battle to come, things must come to a head.

Interesting concept: Thorin and Bilbo get married while Thorin is dragonsick. It raises the question of consent. The battles scenes are great and Bilbo is a badass.

Lay your troubles down by Avelera (explicit, 24k)

An extended version of "the acorn scene." Bilbo sees his chance to snap Thorin out of his madness, and takes it.

This fic is a great, slow deconstruction of Thorin's illness by Bilbo. The author goes all the way to the bedrock of the character to start healing him, and there are setbacks and false starts (which is what I prefer in fics where Thorin heals).

Covet by Pomgore (explicit, 33,3k)

"How is he?” Bilbo asked softly, trying to keep the worry from his voice. Balin’s face went dark, and he sipped thoughtfully on his tea. “... It’s slow, but his fever has begun to break,” he said. “Still, it’s the worst I’ve seen him. I think it’s the worst he’s ever had.” ~~~ Thorin recovers from both physical and mental afflictions. As with all recovery, the path of healing is non-linear and agonizingly difficult.

This is also a fantastic healing fic (this one post-canon) that treats dragonsickness as a mental illness, with relapses in the recovery. I loved that portrayal, I recognized myself in it. And the fic scratches some specific itches of mine.

Red Lines in Dark Stone by Elenothar (mature, 4,3k)

After BOFA Thorin is wrecked by guilt, convinced that most of the bloodshed is his fault (see: the arkenstone debacle). As king and responsible for Erebor, he decides that he will do anything to stop himself from succumbing to the gold sickness again, even if it means hurting himself. When his family and friends find out, they don't react as he'd expected them to.

Self-harm is another theme that's dear to me. This is an excellent portrayal of self-harm, the author got it perfectly right. It's good to read a post-canon fic where, even when he's past the goldsickness, Thorin still suffers its consequences.

Of Monsters and Men by MsThunderFrost (mature, 1,3k)

Thorin will protect Bilbo from everything. Even if that includes himself.

Look, I love dark and twisted stuff, so this fic was an absolute bitter candy for me, I dig it. Heed the warnings!

Burning with a magnificent madness by EmilianaDarling (mature, 7,3k)

Thorin’s madness had been like a dam bursting; fast and brutal and incomprehensible, like water rushing out and devastating everything in its path. For Bilbo, it’s more like a slow trickle over the course of a lifetime. Out of sight and out of mind - and almost imperceptible until he’s already drowning.

This is an incredibly moving study of madness in Thorin's and Bilbo's lives, caused by the gold and the One ring. Bilbo's life is really tragic and it's heartbreaking to see him sink into addiction to the ring. Prepare tissues.

[izar-tarazed]

the star (for izar), the wheel of fortune (for ensha), and judgement (for both)?

(major arcana inspired headcanon questions | prompt list is here)

⭐ the star : what does your muse take inner comfort in knowing ? what guides your muse ?

... The stars, quite literally. Moving or not, they are always there. She takes comfort in that. They will always hold more answers, and always more questions. Izar is fueled by curiosity and the desire to learn. She’s not about hoarding knowledge; she wants to understand things (and share them). To be All-Knowing? That’s a ridiculous idea to her, because what’s left to do when there’s nothing left to learn? It would be a dead end, stagnation. That’s not what she wants.

The stars, to her, mean that she’ll always have a path ahead, always something left to discover and to figure out. There’ll always be something she didn’t see before, a story untold, a meaning yet to decipher. With the night sky above, her work will never be fully done... and that means that she’ll always have purpose.

(This is, of course, somewhat double-edged: Her whole identity is built on being an astrologer, because that is all she remembers. But what would she be without that? What would be left? She doesn’t even dare to ask herself those questions.)

🎡 the wheel of fortune : how well / badly does your muse take setbacks on their goals ?

Ensha takes them badly on a mental level, but deals with them well on the outside. He aims to get things right and done as swiftly as possible; a setback is as good as failure, and failure is never an option. However, despite being extremely displeased by setbacks, he’ll keep going and, if he can, try again, being both stubborn and strategic about it. (No walking away before figuring out what went wrong. If it can be done, it will be done.) However, this mentality may be more a necessity than a choice. More often than not, the goals Ensha works towards are not actually his own. But achieving them—getting the job done—is what makes him useful, and being useful is what keeps him from being discarded. This idea is so deeply ingrained in him that he won’t even question it when he is pursuing a goal of his own; he deals with all setbacks in the same way.

⚖ judgement : is your muse forgiving of themselves ? how about of others who wrong them ?

Izar can be very hard on herself if she feels she has caused someone harm, or failed them in any way. In fact, there are quite some things she can’t forgive herself for, despite acting to the best of her abilities at the time. Someone who merely wronged her may still earn her forgiveness (especially if she can somehow understand why they did what they did), but it will be much harder if they hurt someone Izar cares about.

Ensha is rather unforgiving both of others and himself. After all, he has—for a very long time—served in an environment where forgiveness for failure was rarely on the table, so that’s something he has internalized completely: Mistakes won’t go unpunished. To be forgiven is a privilege he is rarely granted by others, and almost never by himself. In theory, earning his forgiveness is hard, but then again it’s not like many people even try. Those who do might surprise him enough to reconsider his grudges.

[theworldofhallucination]

As I continue this blog, I hope to delve deeper into my experiences and offer a sense of solidarity and understanding to those who might be struggling. Sharing my journey is a way to extend a hand to anyone feeling isolated by their mental health challenges, and perhaps, through this, I can find further hope for myself as well.

Living with depression and anxiety is a daily battle. After my father's death and the subsequent losses, the weight of my grief seemed insurmountable. Each family member I lost took another piece of my heart, leaving me feeling fragmented and perpetually sorrowful. My depression was like a dark cloud that never fully dissipated, always lurking in the background, ready to engulf me at any moment.

Despite the constant internal turmoil, I tried to maintain a façade of normalcy. On the outside, I went to school, interacted with friends, and participated in family events. But inside, I was crumbling. The pressure to appear "okay" was overwhelming. I felt like I was living a double life, one that everyone saw and one that was hidden deep within me.

During high school, my anxiety escalated. Simple tasks became monumental challenges. I dreaded social interactions, fearing judgment and rejection. My anxiety manifested physically, often leaving me breathless, with a racing heart and trembling hands. I remember sitting in class, trying to focus, but all I could think about was how fast my heart was beating and whether anyone could tell I was on the verge of a panic attack.

I sought solace in writing and music, pouring my emotions into journals and finding comfort in lyrics that resonated with my experiences. These outlets became my lifelines, offering a way to express the pain I couldn't articulate verbally. They provided a sense of relief, even if only temporary.

As I transitioned to adulthood, managing my mental health became more complex. I started therapy, which was both a relief and a challenge. Opening up about my deepest fears and traumas was daunting, but it was also liberating. Therapy taught me coping mechanisms and helped me understand the root causes of my depression and anxiety. It was a slow process, filled with setbacks, but each step forward felt like a small victory.

However, not everyone understood my journey. Some people dismissed my struggles, insisting that I just needed to "snap out of it" or "look on the bright side." These comments, though often well-meaning, were deeply hurtful. They trivialized my experiences and made me feel even more isolated. Mental illness isn't something you can simply will away. It's an ongoing battle that requires understanding, patience, and support.

One of the most challenging aspects of my journey has been navigating relationships. Friendships and romantic relationships are complicated by mental illness. There are days when I can't muster the energy to engage, when I cancel plans last minute or withdraw from social interactions. It's difficult to explain that it's not personal, that it's the weight of my depression making it hard to function. I'm grateful for the friends who have stood by me, who understand that my silence isn't a reflection of my feelings towards them, but a symptom of my illness.

In recent years, I've made progress, but the journey is far from over. I've learned to recognize my triggers and manage my symptoms more effectively. Self-care has become a priority, and I've discovered the importance of setting boundaries and giving myself permission to rest.

To anyone reading this who is struggling with their own mental health, know that you are not alone. Your experiences are valid, and it's okay to seek help. It's okay to have bad days, and it's okay to prioritize your well-being. This journey is tough, but you are tougher. Let's continue to support each other and break the stigma surrounding mental illness.

This is what depression does to me, but it doesn't define me. My story is ongoing, and I'm committed to finding light even in the darkest moments. Thank you for being part of this journey with me. Together, we can find hope and healing.

[zeta-in-de-walls]

Tommy’s character and the theme of failure

One thing I’ve always rather appreciated about Tommy’s story in the Dream SMP is how it explores the idea of failure. It can be a challenging one to do right as it means exploring a character’s weakness a lot and can start to feel unsatisfying if the character never succeeds but I feel like Tommy’s story avoids this issue as his arc is ultimately an encouraging one. His character never stops trying or gives up in spite of his losses, showing the perseverance to keep going until eventually he starts to find happiness, no matter how elusive it seems. 

Tommy’s character is no stranger to failure of course but I’d say this theme starts to become prominent with November the 16th. Tommy had two goals: to save L’Manberg and to save Wilbur. He was pretty optimistic about both. And he failed. The day ended in disaster with Wilbur dead, Technoblade, his idol, mocking his heroism and telling him to die, and his home in ruins. It takes him a long time to come to terms with who Wilbur was, separating Wilbur into two in his mind: President Wilbur and the ‘crazy’ Wilbur who blew up L’Manburg. 

But Tommy continues on, quietly moving on as L’Manburg gets rebuilt. No matter what, he still believes in L’Manburg; it’s still alive. Also, he wants to finally get his remaining disc back from Dream, feeling the need to do this after putting it aside for so long.

But of course, things don’t go well. That which he had taken for granted, his bond with Tubbo, was under fire. His personal wish to get his discs back was causing division. A simple prank gone wrong was tearing everything apart as Dream threatened L’Manburg once again. None of these things were purely Tommy’s actions, and yet his actions played a part all the same as Dream essentially took advantage of all of Tommy’s weaknesses. Tommy was being viewed as a liability, a troublemaker, as self-centred, as a problem. 

Tommy’s character likely blamed himself somewhat for his failure with Wilbur and L’Manburg the first time but it had been out of his hands and his reactions were more shock than being truly broken by the events and he kept up his optimism. Yet this time, the problems were not things far beyond his control. It seemed it was his own mistakes spelling his doom and it impacted him quite severely. As much as he recognised Dream as an antagonist here, his friends distrust of him was his failure. Despite his best efforts, he could not convince Tubbo not to exile him. 

Rather than seeing the fairly resilient, optimistic Tommy like the first time he was banished, this time Tommy’s defeated. We see the full effects it takes on his mental state and the narrative does not pull its punches. Tommy’s already depressed and we start to see evidence of suicidal thoughts very quickly. This is all made far, far worse by Dream who encourages his dark thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, telling him everyone’s better off without him while breaking his spirit and making him miserable by repeatedly blowing up his items. 

Dream was of course Tommy’s enemy, he’d recognised before that what Dream had been doing to L’Manburg, with the obsidian walls and insisting on banishing Tommy, had been unfair even if Tommy had been helpless to stop him. Yet over exile we see him really start to internalise Dream’s words, starting to really believe that narrative that he is unloved and a liability, despite his best efforts. As his mental state worsens we see him starting to believe Dream’s lies so much that he begins to believe that Dream is really his friend who cares about him. Meanwhile, he’s angrier and lashing out at the people he cares about, we seem him kill Jack, break the bridges he built and generally lashing out at the people he misses the most. 

So through exile, we see Tommy at his weakest and most vulnerable. We also see some of his flaws with his uglier side, his uncontrolled emotions, his dependency on others, his deep self-worth issues and how he can be so successfully lied to. This deep exploration of Tommy’s character allows us to really see how the repeated failures and setbacks and losses affected his character mentally and depict it as yet another obstacle he needs to overcome. 

And ultimately he does, ultimately deciding to fight back and run away from exile on his own. Tommy’s arc goes to very depressing places but manages to remain an inspiring story by showing you at his weakest and yet also show him never truly giving up but pressing on, in search of that happy ending. Running away from exile has him also realising that Dream is his enemy, not his friend and he commits to fighting back against him. 

But of course the narrative doesn’t entirely move on. Tommy’s struggles and failures continue to plague him as the mental issues he has with self-worth and his confused feelings towards Dream do not go away. He managed to continue but that wasn’t the perfect victory as most of his problems are still there and he’s still the same person. at Techno’s house, we see him and his confusion. He’s lighthearted and joking about but he’s still deeply troubled without a clear stance on Dream or L’Manburg or Tubbo and he clings to the idea of the disc as a simple goal. It seems as if he’s doomed to become the person he hated or make the same mistakes again. He once failed to save Wilbur and it seems as if his greatest failure would be to go down Wilbur’s path too, blowing up the country he once loved. 

And Tommy nearly goes too far. He finally meets Tubbo again and his anger, his issues all come back as does some self-centred behaviour as he declares that ‘the discs are worth more than you ever were’.

And he immediately regrets it. He apologises, he turns around and gives them up to Dream. He won’t let himself turn into Wilbur. 

And yet, every little victory he fights so hard for is met with an even greater failure. He switches sides on Technoblade while giving Dream exactly what he wanted. His story isn’t a happy one in spite of him trying his very best and making the decisions that are right for him. And we can only wonder how inevitable it was or if he could’ve done better for he hurts Techno deeply. Is he doing better or does his very nature doom him to make the same mistakes again and again?

Once ore, we see L’Manburg blown up and this time Tommy declares it a lost cause. Despite his best efforts, it’s over and we can only stare at the ruins of the nation he’d once helped build with Wilbur. Additionally, Tommy is dead to Techno now, that relationship seemingly broken forever. 

But it’s not the end. Tommy is defeated once more, with each failure hitting harder than the last but he doesn’t give up. He keeps on fighting. For all he’s lost, he’s won Tubbo back, and the experiences may have been terrible but he has learned something through all of it. Even if all that is, is understanding suffering a bit better and getting back the courage to apologise and reconcile.

He and Tubbo go after Dream and it’s almost, almost too late. He’s nearly locked in prison forever and Tubbo almost killed. 

But it’s not end. Just this once, it’s not a failure. They bet it all and finally had that victory. The rest of the server comes to save them and Dream gets locked in his prison while Tommy and Tubbo are finally free. 

Course, Tommy’s story isn’t over there. And the thing with this theme of failure is that it keeps on cropping up. They may have finally gotten a victory but Tommy’s issues aren’t over. he tries to start again, building his hotel but the trauma from exile has made an impact on him. It’s something that can’t be solved in a day, but only over a long time. And despite everything, the issues keep coming back. Tommy feels like things are unresolved with Dream and visits him again. 

And he gets locked in prison and dies and then gets resurrected. And its all absolutely devastating and it seems as if Tommy will never get better, that he’ll never truly have his happy ending. His hotel gets stolen from him and its as if everything he tries to do ends in failure.

He tries to sort things out, tries solving things with killing Dream and it just gets Ghostbur killed and the guilt can only eat at him. Wilbur is back at Tommy’s afraid but time has passed and he’s starting to see Wilbur more for who he is. After all he’s been through, he understands him way better than he did before. He once more commits to helping him but Tommy isn’t the naive kid he once was. 

Tommy still lives in the very same spot he always did. He still wants the same things he always did: a home, security, peace, friends, and he’s been experiencing many losses. And yet, his story is not a hopeless one. Because in spite of all that’s happened, he’s still trying again. And he’s learned and can avoid making those mistakes again. Right now, he’s doing better, he’s committing to living peacefully in a way he hasn’t in a long time. He’s been attempting to build bridges and though all his failures haunt him, he is gradually healing day by day, still trying to find that happy ending.

I think Tommy’s story is very cool for the way it really explores these themes of failure. It does not pull its punches, its dark, never easy or straightforward but that’s also what makes it so powerful. Those bright spots, feel so good, they feel so rewarding because they were so hard-fought. We root for Tommy’s character because we’ve seen his journey and really feel he deserves his happy end even though its never going to be perfect and indeed every failure is a mixture of forces outside of his control and his character which he has been trying to improve, learning to be nicer, more forgiving and more aware of his own emotions. He can’t fix Dream nor does he know how best to help Wilbur but he can help himself and that’s what he’s always trying to do. He holds himself to account and always tries his best.

[helnjk]

A Change of Scenery - C.W.

Charlie Weasley x fem!reader

Requested: yes!

omg hi! I just saw the fanart of the oldest Weasley brothers(🥵🥵🥵) and was hoping you could do a Charlie x reader thing? Maybe the reader is a healer at the sanctuary and Charlie doesn't mind getting hurt because he gets to see her but she literally has no idea he adores her till he spells it out. With promt 42 of your list maybe? Totally cool if you want to leave it out 😁 love you and your work! -🍄

“what the hell were you thinking?”

Word count: 3.1k 

Summary: moving to romania for your absolute dream job, you did not expect to meet a cheeky, flirty redhead along the way. 

Warnings: mentions of injuries, food, & drinks. charlie is a dragon tamer, reader is a healer, of course he’s going to end up with a few cuts and bruises. 

A/N: god i love charlie weasley with all of my heart. that is all. 

prompt is in bold

-

Being connected to and living somewhere very in tune with the earth had always been a dream of yours. It just so happened that your new job had you transferred to the perfect place: Romania. 

Sure, it was quite far from England and had quite a different culture, but the beauty of the mountains and the picturesque scenery made up for it. The fact that you were also working in one of the best medical wings in the country, on a dragon reserve on top of that, was basically your dream come true. 

“Alright, and this right here is your station,” announced the head healer, who insisted you call him Gerry, gesturing to a decently sized office space. “You can decorate it anyway you like, as long as it’s appropriate. Most of the folks around here aren’t locals either, so we’ve got loads of photos up and lots of owls coming in and out everyday.” 

“It’s perfect,” you grinned. 

Gerry left you alone to get settled, and you didn’t want to admit it to anyone, but the first thing you did once he was out of earshot was to squeal excitedly and do a little happy dance. 

It was just all too exciting, really. Dream job, dream location, dream view even. After your burst of excitement, you spent a bit of time just staring out of the window, taking in everything. In the distance, you could even see the silhouette of a dragon peeking over the canopy of trees. The fact that this was going to be a regular occurrence just spurred even more delight in your heart. 

Later in the day, after most of the introductions were made and tours were finished, you could be found familiarizing yourself with the medical wing of the sanctuary. 

“C’mon Gerry, I’m completely fine!” you heard a gruff voice complain. It was coming from the hallway outside, but the accompanying footsteps sounded as if they were on the way to the wing. 

“You know it’s protocol, Weasley,” a very amused Gerry replied as they rounded the corner. 

Beside your boss was one of the most gorgeous men you had ever laid eyes on. With wind ruffled hair the color of sunsets and lightly tanned skin, you almost didn’t notice the small, almost inconspicuous limp he was sporting. It also took you a few seconds to realize that he was probably one of the dragon tamers of the reserve, the first one you were going to meet and treat, it seemed. 

“Ah, Healer L/N, perfect!” Gerry called out to you, “This is Charlie Weasley, one of our on-site dragon tamers.”

“Nice to meet you,” he smiled, holding out his hand for you to shake. 

“You too,” you said in reply, trying not to think about how warm and calloused his hand was in yours. 

“His leg got swiped by the tail of a Chinese Fireball,” Gerry explained as he motioned to the leg that Charlie wasn’t putting much of his weight on.

You could see the redhead roll his eyes, “Honestly, I’ll be fine! This has happened more times than you know.” 

Despite his best efforts, both you and Gerry managed to get Charlie to take a seat on one of the beds that lined the wall. With a sigh, he rolled up his trousers just enough for you to see the area of the wound. 

“Lucky for you, treating this doesn’t take much time,” you smiled. Swiftly, you took your wand out and muttered the correct incantation, “There. Good as new!” 

“If I get to be under the care of Ms. L/N here, I wouldn’t mind getting injured more often,” he flirted, sending you a cheeky wink. 

Gerry just guffawed a loud belly laugh, patting Charlie on the shoulder fondly, “Don’t you go running off with one of my best healers now, Weasley. We just got her!” 

“Don’t worry, Gerry,” you smiled, “I think this one’s too injury-prone to run anywhere.” 

–

As the last work day of your first week at the reserve was coming to an end, you were surprised to see Charlie Weasley knocking on the open door to your office. 

“Hey,” you said, sending him a small smile.

“Hey,” he parroted, stepping inside. 

“Anything I can help you with?” you asked over your shoulder while putting away the last of your files and slipping out of your healer robes, “You’re not injured again are you?” 

Behind you, Charlie gulped as he saw the little sundress you wore underneath. His head spun at the sight of your exposed legs and he nearly forgot what he was about to say. 

“Nah I’ve got a better track record than that, thankfully,” he chuckled. Doing his best to keep the calm facade he had going on, he leant against the doorframe as he asked, “Got any plans tonight? I was wondering if you’d fancy getting a bite to eat.” 

You were caught off guard by how nonchalant and straightforward his invitation was.

“Is this your way of asking me on a date?” you asked, finally turning around to face him once again. 

He raised an eyebrow, “Do you want it to be? Because I just wanted to be a nice person and show you around Romania, but if you’re looking for a date…” 

“Oh shut it, Weasley,” you groaned, “The tab is on you tonight, then.” 

Charlie sent you a grin as you strode out of your office. Despite your faux-annoyance, you were happy to have someone show you around. Being a healer was your dream job, but it did have some setbacks. Obviously, you were needed at the medical wing of the reserve for the majority of the week and that didn’t give you much time to familiarize yourself with the town and the people. 

Because of how remote the reserve was, most staff and employees lived on site. There was a designated area for the many different cabins and living quarters. To give you more of a tour of the little Romanian town nearest the reserve, Charlie offered to side-along apparate you. 

You could feel heat creep up your neck and spread along your cheeks as you gripped firmly on to his muscular arm. 

The sun was just about to set and cast gorgeous hues of orange and pink across the sky as the two of you landed just outside the town. Charlie led you along, showing you where the most important areas were; you saw the town square, the little street bazaars, and the most popular eating places. 

By the time the pair of you got to one of his favorite restaurants, a quaint little place in one of the sidestreets, your cheeks were sore from laughing too much. After the initial awkwardness as you tried to navigate topics that interested the both of you, you found yourselves chatting away animatedly. 

“Yeah, Fred and George were an absolute nightmare when they were little,” he chuckled, fondly recalling the many times he and his older brother Bill were left to babysit their younger siblings, “But they’re great. They’ve got a shop in Diagon Alley now, selling prank products of all things. It’s wild.”

“Your family sounds absolutely lovely,” you said. It warmed your heart seeing how his eyes lit up talking about them. “It must be so hard being so far away from everyone.” 

He nodded slightly before taking a sip of his drink, “Definitely. My first year here was such a big transition. I’m lucky I get to go home every so often.” 

There was a lull in the conversation as you dug into your food, but it was far from the awkward silence you were expecting. 

Maybe working in Romania wasn’t going to be so bad after all. 

–

“Why is it that when you get hurt, I’m always the healer on call?” you sighed playfully as Charlie walked through the door of the medical wing. 

It was the fourth week in a row he had to come and get something patched up. They weren’t major injuries, thankfully, but you had come to learn that the dragon tamers were required to know how to perform the basic healing spells. The things Charlie would come in for were almost always resolved with a quick episkey. 

“You know me,” he joked, taking a seat on one of the empty beds, “Always so accident prone.” 

“Sure.” You rolled your eyes. 

Still, with your wand in hand, you gestured for him to show you where the injury was. 

“I’ve got two things today,” he began. You raised your eyebrows in response. “This is the first.” 

 Charlie quickly rolled the sleeve of his top, his toned arm flexing at the movement. In all the time you had worked at the reserve, which wasn’t that long at all, you still hadn’t gotten used to how fit he was. A quick intake of breath had you re-centering and focusing on the task at hand. There was a small burn on his forearm, not enough to cause too much concern. 

You cast the charm quickly so as not to be distracted further, “There, all done.” 

“There’s still one more place that’s hurt Y/N.” 

By the way Charlie spoke, you knew he was up to something. Inwardly you sighed, “Alright, let’s get to it then.” 

Your heart seemed to stop as he began to unbutton the first few buttons of his top. 

“What’re you doing, Weasley?” you asked, trying your hardest to keep your composure as you got a peek of his very toned chest. 

With a dramatic sigh, Charlie leant back and pointed to an area above his chest, “My heart hurts, Y/N.” 

For a moment you just stared at him, looking absolutely ridiculous in the position he chose to don, eyes blinking owlishly. Truthfully, you didn’t know whether to laugh or to send the strongest stinging hex in his direction. 

“Charlie Weasley, you thank Merlin and Morgana right now that I’m not hexing your balls off,” you said, rolling your eyes. 

“I’m being serious, Y/N!” he continued, “I don’t know if I’ll survive this!” 

“Pity, does that mean I’m losing my ticket to free weekly meals?” she joked, already turning on her heel to get back to what she had been doing before he entered the wing. 

There were sounds of shuffling as if Charlie had gotten back up on his feet again and then, “Definitely not! I’m banking on those meals, one of these days you’re going to be begging me for an actual date. You’ll see.”

“Keep dreaming, Weasley.” 

You sent the redheaded dragon tamer a sarcastic smile, but he just sent you a flirty wink in reply. 

–

“Code white. Need extra hands in the medical wing ASAP.” 

The shimmering white bloodhound soon dissolved into nothing as it delivered its message to you, early one morning. You had just gotten to work, not even in your healer's robes yet, when Gerry’s patronus appeared. 

As you rushed to the medical wing, another patronus made an appearance and rattled off what had happened and who was hurt. Your heart dropped the moment you heard who you were going to be treating. 

“Oh Merlin,” you whispered to yourself the moment you saw the state Charlie was in, “What did you get yourself into?”

In all the time you had been working at the reserve and as a healer in general, it was not unusual for you to treat severe injuries. In fact, you liked to think that when you were faced with someone’s life or quality of life in your hands, you worked even harder and smarter. However, seeing Charlie more battered and bruised than you had ever seen him made your heart pound loudly in your chest. 

“Healer L/N, you’re right on time,” Gerry spoke to you clearly, rapidly explaining the situation and what you needed to do. 

In a flash, you had your wand out and were muttering all the healing spells that came to mind alongside your head healer. You didn’t notice how you were holding your breath and clenching your wandless hand until you let out a sigh of relief when Charlie began to stir. 

“He’s stable,” Gerry announced and released a breath. 

You felt a soft pat on your shoulder as he left you to deal with the patient, deeming it alright for him to step out and get back to his other responsibilities. Carefully, you walked towards the redhead whose eyes were fluttering open. 

“What the hell were you thinking, Weasley?” you murmured softly, your wand sweeping over him one last time to check is vitals. A soft hand reached out to push the stray strands of hair that had fallen in front of his face and you felt him lean into your touch. 

“Y/N?” Charlie mumbled, his eyes still half-closed. 

“I’m right here,” you said in reply. 

“What happened?” he asked, trying to prop himself up but groaning in pain. 

“What happened,” you began, going to help him get to the seated position he wanted to be in. He smiled up at you and you could barely remember what you were trying to say. With a small shake of your head and clearing of your throat you continued, “What happened was that you were being an absolute idiot who absolutely did not call for backup when a nesting mother was going on a rampage.” 

Despite his obvious discomfort, Charlie had the audacity to chuckle slightly, “Sounds about right.” 

“Don’t you dare do that to me again, Weasley,” you admonished, pulling back and shooting him the dirtiest stare you could muster. “You nearly gave me a heart attack. When I got Gerry’s patronus, all I could think about was–” 

As if an electric jolt shocked you, you cut yourself off before anything else escaped your lips. 

“Was what, Y/N?” he asked softly. 

His eyes were shining with something you couldn’t quite name, but the sincerity in his face gave you pause. 

You shook your head, “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” 

Instead of continuing to reprimand him for his foolishness, you busied yourself making sure he was comfortable and that everything was alright. The potions he needed to take later in the day and the different salves to be applied to his skin were placed on the bedside table. Pillows were summoned, fluffed, and placed behind him. 

As you shuffled around the room, purposely ignoring the redhead, his eyes were trained on you. 

The moment his eyes opened and he felt your hand brush gently across his face, he thought he had to have been dreaming. If it weren’t for the ache in his muscles and the sting of his burns, he would’ve believed that he was in some alternate reality wherein he woke up next to you every morning. 

He was tired of waiting for his fantasies to come true, he decided. 

“Y/N.” 

The way he said your name sent shivers down your spine. Your whole body froze for a microsecond before you turned to face him. 

“Yeah, Charlie?” 

“Look at me please,” he begged. 

With a deep breath, your eyes locked with his and you were almost blown away with the look on his face. 

Sincerity pooled in his eyes as they scanned your face, trying to see if your own expression gave anything away. You felt like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to move or look away from him. 

“Tell me what you were thinking,” he whispered gently. 

It was now or never.

“All I could think about was how,” you gulped, taking a steadying breath, “How you could’ve died or gotten so hurt, when I hadn’t even had the chance to tell you how I felt about you.” 

You could hear Charlie’s sharp intake of breath and you had to look away, unable to face the rejection you were ultimately going to hear. 

“Y/N–” 

“And, and I know that you don’t feel the same–”

“Y/N–”

“But, just seeing you lying there–”

“Y/N!”

Charlie’s voice rang through the whole wing, a sharp contrast to the otherwise silent space. You sucked in a deep breath, surprised. 

“Y/N you have to know I’m absolutely mad for you,” he said clearly. 

You blinked furiously at him. 

“You-I, what?” 

Charlie tried to reposition himself so that he could face you properly, but you could see that he was still in a bit of pain. Instead of letting him maneuver himself uncomfortably, you placed a soft hand on his shoulder before taking a seat by his legs. 

Immediately, he went to take your hand in his. “I think you’re absolutely breathtaking, and talented, and passionate. I just haven’t had the balls to ask you out on a real date.” 

“Then what are you waiting for, Weasley?” You offered him a small smile, glancing back down at your intertwined hands. 

The smile he sent you left you breathless. 

–

“You ready to go?” Charlie asked, leaning against the doorframe with his legs crossed just like when he had visited your office that first week. 

A small grin inched its way on to your face at the sight of your boyfriend. His hair was just a tad bit windswept, adding to the rugged look he insisted he could pull off (and he definitely did, you just didn’t like feeding his ego too much). 

“Just about,” you smiled. “Let me get out of these stuffy robes first.” 

And, just like the first time he had knocked on the door to your office, you turned to shrug off your uniform and hang it up in one of the hooks beside your desk. Instead of keeping his thoughts to himself, Charlie grinned widely and whistled at the sight of you in your dress. 

Just as you were about to chide him for being inappropriate, strong arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you backwards. A small ‘oof’ escaped your lips as your back made contact with Charlie’s strong chest. 

“Charlie!” you slapped his arm lightly, “C’mon, I’m still at work!” 

“What so I can’t show my girlfriend some appreciation for being absolutely drop dead gorgeous?” he mumbled, pressing soft kisses on the joint where your neck met your shoulders. 

You rolled your eyes, “You know I love a good compliment. I would just rather you do it outside my place of work.” 

With a chuckle, Charlie released his grip on your waist. “Alright, alright.” 

“Just for that, the tab’s on you tonight, Weasley.” 

“Ah so the usual, love?” 

“Of course.” 

Charlie held his hand out for you to take, and unlike the first time he took you out, you allowed yourself to blush, take his calloused hand in yours, and press a soft kiss on his lips. 

–

General taglist: @expectoevans @george-fabian-weasley @gxthsanrio @slytherinscribbles @harpyloon @nuttytani @mesmerisedangel @amourtentiaa @sarcasticallywitty15 @lumos-barnes @cruciostyles @writingsomewrongs

Charlie taglist: @pinkypurplemagic @lifeofkaze @oldschoolkiddo

[codenamesazanka]

Warning: Rant, character bashing, lots of opinions

I'm saying it outright. I hate Deku. He is entirely underwhelming as a character, much less as the main character, the shonen protagonist of the series.

It's a 'different' type of dislike, though. I feel like I could've like his character. There's nothing greatly disagreeable about him, he's as inoffensive as can be, he's an optimistic, considerate, and polite boy, he's as plain as he is said to be, and that's fine.

My issue is that he's not the character he's said to be. I, personally, just don't buy that he "possesses a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding", or that he's super intelligent with great analytical abilities that he actually applies on the battlefield, or, in general, he's as amazing or heroic or compassionate as he's apparently supposed to be. How can he be inspiring if he barely challenges any aspects of the society he lives in. Deku is a super good example of the terrible use of "Tell, Don't Show". We're told about his amazing traits, but he rarely follows through; when we do see hints of it, it's lauded but frankly I think it's typical behavior and (this though is not quite his fault) written so stiffly and awkwardly I'm not convinced.

(Honestly I might even call him a Canon Mary Sue. He has no interesting or distinguishable flaws, unless having a shit for brains attitude is one but that's not acknowledged by the narrative. Breaking bones is not a personality trait. If he has a Hero Complex, it's not even the interesting ones where he fucks things up even more; or carries crippling guilt about circumstances beyond his control; or focuses completely on saving people to the point of rejecting almost all human connections and keeping deadly secrets - which is All Might's big flaw.) (Well fair, he does this in the most recent chapter but did it need to take 300+ chapters? Plus I sense the way it's framed is that it's the radical, but right course of action.)

Say what you want about Villains and redemption/shouldn't be redeemed/too evil to be saved/justice/etc, but I think this 'Incredible Drive To Save' should've included Villains from the start. Why does Deku want to "Save people with a smile on his face"? Assuming it's empathy, he should have felt some towards everyone he encounters, whether it's sensible or not. "Why are you so angry?", "You shouldn't go about things this way", "What caused them to be like this?", "Why is there evil in the world?" even. I'm still fuming over his Mall Encounter with Shigaraki, where Shigaraki pretty much reveals his damage: "All Might acts like there's no one he can't save"; but ultimately Deku goes "Wow, that sure is an opinion."

What kind of inane response is this??? There's little pushback from the narrative either, so this isn't pointed out as a failing of his (because, again, he has no big flaws). And he's supposed to be smart and caring. Yes, he does ask All Might right after the Mall Encounter, "Was there anyone you can't save?"; but essentially the replies he gets is "Don't worry about it" and Deku immediately largely puts it out of his mind "Oh whew, I was about to do some introspection and reflection". There isn't even the daunting, kinda-existential anxiety that people get when they realize it's impossible to save/help everyone - which is something, like, medical workers have to learn to deal with - that sharp sense of the inevitably of death, of loss, failure, guilt. I'm not asking for him to come to the conclusion that everyone should be saved - he could've decided nah, Shigaraki is too ugly to be saved and I would've been fine with that, it's part of the character role and potential development - just that he should've had a conclusion at all.

There are the latest chapters where Deku decides he wants to try saving Shigaraki first (though killing him is still on the table), true. Him wanting to save Shigaraki after seeing AFO merged with him, after seeing The Crying Child - but see, I don't think it qualifies because I think it's the bare minimum about of consideration, the typical response to seeing the body horror of warped, fused flesh, to seeing a small sad little boy. I think it shouldn't require "You look like you needed saving" for a true Hero to consider saving someone. Not for someone who is supposed to be unique and special in this regard.

*

I've complained about this before, but the trouble with Deku was evident from the very beginning.

Again, Deku wants to save people with a smile on his face, and again, I’m assuming it’s empathy. We're shown this on the very first page, as he attempts to protect a friend(?) from bullies, but imo like it felt groundless because who was the kid he was protecting? We never see him again. Did Deku's standing up to Bakugou work, and the kid was saved? Or did they both got beaten up; but afterwards, being the kind boy Deku is supposed to be, he still gets to his feet to help the boy, to apologize for failing.

But more significantly, this theme of saving was overshadowed immediately by his focus on superpowers - that he was quirkless. Next page, his focus was on ‘Woah, giant villain and superpowers!’ Instead of like. Helping people. (Though I chalk this up to early installment weirdness)

What should’ve happened if the theme was ‘SAVE PEOPLE’ Is something like: The opening sentence being “People are not born equal. This is the harsh truth I learned when I was four. I knew that... but despite my powerless, I still wanted to help. That was my first and last setback.” And the panels/images themselves (of little Katsuki and his friends) implies that people on the world thinks you need power to help people.

When he saw the villain attack on way to school, Deku can be wow’ed by the spectacle! But then he notices a kid crying and offers to help find his mom. He can be interrupted by a Hero saying he (the hero) will take over, he can find the mom and realize he’s late for school (and so that shows he’s willing to sacrifice something of his to help others! Because of his altruistic nature!). A scene like that, of him helping the lost kid, we would know that he wants to help *anyone*. At school, though, he still gets bullied for not having powers. So he’s mulling over that when he meets All Might, and asks the question.

It proceeds as usual for the next few events: When the sludge monster attacks Katsuki, he can still go gawk at the scene. He can still hesitate. In canon, it's only when he realized the victim was his friend that he jumps into action, which I thinks undermines the theme of 'wanting to save indiscriminately'. IMO, it would've been better that Deku sees it’s his friend, but he still hesitates. “There’s nothing I can do right? All Might himself said so...” But when he sees Katsuki’s *face* of fear, he runs to help. Instead of seeming like he helps only because he realizes it’s his friend, he helps because he feels too deeply about trying to save Katsuki.

Admittedly these are minor, personal critiques; but all in all, the first chapter fails to establish Deku is the willpowered, champion of wanting to save people he's supposed to be.

--Which is fine, if it's acknowledged in the story later, that maybe he wasn't the True Blue Hero he's supposed to be at first, but he can change and still become one. But it's not - Deku is apparently special, without anything special to show for it.

*

I read the one-shot "My Hero" - the prototype for this series - that Horikoshi published years ago, before My Hero Academia was created. I also found it underwhelming, but that was due to personal tastes (I wanted more explosions and dumb violence); as a story on it's own merit, the logic and progression was solid.

The Villains Heroes fought were 'Aberrations' - true inhuman monsters that showed no sentience that would eat people - so the focus could be solely on saving humans. The main character - Jack Midoriya - his original goal was less 'save people' and more 'become a cool hero', before learning that saving people is what true heroism is about, hero license unneeded. (Moreover, he really did 'save' someone without being a hero - by working hard, he was preventing the company from becoming ruined completely, which the CEO had confessed and thanked him for. )

This version of Midoriya didn't exactly needed deep empathy or compassion for that, just a strong willpower, which he effectively demonstrated by chasing after a childhood dream even as an adult salaryman in a tanking company, even though he had anemia and no training and no license. He insisted on this, to the point of getting hurt by being dumb, of being petty over someone dissing the Hero who inspired him in the first place, of skipping out of work and going vigilante. Not the most upstanding guy, but he came through in the relevant themes of the story, in being the character the story needed him to be.

Jack Midoriya was an unimpressive, weird-looking, weak, pitiful, somewhat selfish, awkward salaryman with no great aspects that 'eclipses all common understanding'. But he was a far stronger character than his incarnation Izuku Midoriya could ever be (so far).

[bbysamu]

Drunk

⭑ part III ⭑

part I, part II 

⭑ Song: Drunk by Keshi

⭑ Warning: Minor angst, mentions of cheating 

⭑ Pairing: Oikawa  x f!reader ; Tsukishima x f!reader 

(a/n: Thank you all for the unbelievable support for my first series, you guys give me the motivation to continue writing. Please enjoy part 3!) 

Tag list (by request - thank you all for your support): @nachotrash; @whateverfeelz; @semhal​

That day at Starbucks brought (Y/N) and Oikawa closer. He did not rush her, but stayed patiently next to her until she slowly opened herself to him. She shared with him her deepest secrets and thoughts, the detrimental consequences of her father’s affair on her entire family and her mental health. Her relationship with Tsukishima, who pursued her relentlessly the first day they met and how she was on cloud 9 when Tsukki promised her he would never be like her father. Through every chat, every conversation, Oikawa felt himself love (Y/N) even more. He smiled when she smiled. His heart skipped a beat when he hears her laughter. His heart broken and body trembled with anger as tears stained her face as she described her father and ex-boyfriend’s affair. Oikawa has never felt this way before, sure he was a pretty empathetic person, but this was beyond mere empathy. Perhaps deep down in his soul, he knew the girl sitting in front right now, talking animatedly about this new song she found on her Spotify, was his soul mate, the one God had prepared for him. 

For (Y/N), that empty space Tsukki left her with was slowly starting to be filled up Oikawa. The pretty captain was determined to not just be a bandaid for her heartache, but to become her whole heart and after months, she thinks she’s ready for him to do that. 

Interhigh Tournament 

Despite their first game being in the afternoon, Tsukishima and a few of the Karasuno boys decided to head to the tournament early to check out the other teams. Taking a seat in the stand, the team decided to watch the match between Aoba Johsai and Johzenji. Aoba Johsai was doing very well, despite the minor setbacks in the beginning, the powerhouse quickly adapted to Johzenji’s interesting way of playing. 

*beeeepppp* the whistled signaled a Seijoh’s victory. Tsukki watched the team huddle around as the coach gave them some encouragements. A familiar figure emerged holding some water bottles, distributing them to the team. He watched as the first years shyly thanked (Y/N) and the pretty captain looped an arm around her waist and kissed her on the cheeks. Despite being so far away, Tsukki could see the love radiating off both (Y/N) and Oikawa. Tsukki stopped breathing for a second. 

He watched as (Y/N) tucked her hair behind her ears, laughing as her boyfriend whined while their friends teased him about his flat butt. He watched as Oikawa looked at (Y/N), eyes filled with so much love and pulled her into a side hug. He watched and he couldn’t stop. Yamaguchi noticed how quiet his best friend had gotten and once he followed his eye line, he understood. 

“Come on Tsukki, you’ve got to stop” Yamaguchi said quietly, “you know you did this to yourself”. 

Tsukishima scoffed, he knew it deep down of course, “What are you talking about? I wasn’t looking at (Y/N), I was trying to study the blocking skills of Matsukawa. Besides I have Yuki, she’s all I need”. 

“sure” Yamaguchi replied and got up, “come on we’ve got to get ready, plus i think Yuki has been texting you the past hour asking when she should come to watch us play”.  With a sigh, Tsukki pulled out his phone and fired off a quick text to his girlfriend telling her he’d meet her outside the gym. 

Because he had to go pick up Yuki, Tsukki was late to warm up. When he and Yuki walked into the room, Aoba Johsai was already warming up their serves on the opposite side. As Tsukki was warming up with the rest of the team and Yuki was watching on the side, (Y/N) slowly walked over greeting her former team. 

The Karasuno team (minus Tsukki and Yuki) was so excited to see (Y/N). “Good luck today guys! Even though I’m at Johsai now, you know once a crow always a crow!” Y/N smiled cheekily, making the rest of the team laugh. 

“Babe what did you just say?!” Oikawa had snuck up behind his girlfriend, pretending to be offended, drawing more laughs from the team. Tsukki averted his eyes, stomach slightly nauseated at the sight. 

Yuki on the other hand was sneering internally, looks like (Y/N) really did not need Tsukishima at all. But upon second glance at her new boyfriend, Yuki’s heart did a little skip. “Wow, Seijoh’s captain really is as cute as the rumors, why does (Y/N) always get the cute guys?” Yuki did a glance over at (Y/N), “I mean i guess she’s pretty, but i’m prettier, or why else would Tsukki leave her for me?” With that, Yuki fluffed her hair, a hint of mischief gleaming in her eyes as she made sure she would be in (Y/N)’s field of vision before she strode over to Tsukki. Standing before her tall boyfriend, Yuki pulled him down forcefully and gave him a passionate kiss, opening her eyes to make sure (Y/N) was looking at them. 

Yuki expected to see pain in her eyes. Yuki was convinced (Y/N) was still not over Tsukishima and was just using Oikawa as a rebound. What she did not expect was a tiny smile of pity Y/N had on her face. Yuki was infuriated, “you know what?  how dare you pity me? I’ll steal your new boyfriend too” . 

Yuki blew her boyfriend a good luck kiss before heading toward (Y/N) and Oikawa. 

“Hi (Y/n) long time now see! you look well, whose this? your new boyfriend? you snatched yourself a cute one again”, with that Yuki put her hand on Oikawa biceps, “so strong too”.

Oikawa looked down at her flirty attempt in disgust, pulled his arms away forcefully, before pulling (Y/N) towards him and yelled out “You homewrecker, be gone!”  

Yuki couldn’t stop the blood from rushing to her cheeks, the gym suddenly fell quiet. Yuki thought everyone was warming up, unaware they were all watching and listening in. The Karasuno team snickered behind her, thinking she got what she deserved. Yuki ran out of the room, Tsukishima not even bothering to chase her. 

Watching Yuki’s little attempt at stealing Oikawa left Tsukishima feeling nauseous. Needless to say, Seijoh easily won the game that day. 

♫All my friends are drunk again And I'm stumblin' back to bed all by myself♫

A few weeks passed, Tsukishima eventually ended things with Yuki when he realized how his life has taken a turn for the worse since he allowed Yuki into his life. Yamaguchi sighed a sigh of relief when Tsukishima told him. 

Laying in bed at night, Tsukki could not help the tears of frustration from escaping as he viewed your instagram profile. All remnants of him were gone, replaced by Oikawa Toru. Pictures of Oikawa kissing (Y/N), pictures of picnic dates, movie dates...Tsukki shut his eyes. 

♫ I never have thought When you're gone I'd find it hard to carry on And it's probably 'cause I fell in love way back then ♫

With a sigh, Tsukishima turned off his phone, a sob finally escaping his chest. He hurt and threw away the love of his life. It’s all too late, realized Tsukishima as he cry himself to sleep with (Y/N) on the other side of town, blissfully wrapped in the tight embrace of Oikawa Toru. 

[janekfan]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28583328

“Thanks for coming, Tim.”

“‘Course, Marto.” Tim looked past him to the man loosely curled up on the couch, propped up on several pillows and looking worse for wear.

“I’m sure he’d be okay, I just--”

“I understand.”

“You know how disoriented he can become with fevers and it’s been so high today.”

“It’s alright.”

“It’s your night off is what it is!” Martin pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Shaking his head and chuffing a laugh, Tim gripped both his shoulders and squeezed.

“Martin. I promise, it’s okay. We’ll watch bad telly and Jon will sleep and everything will be just fine.” Still conflicted, Martin knelt beside Jon and schooled his expression into a soft smile before pressing a kiss to his hot forehead.

“Hey, love.”

“Martin?” Breathless, Tim remembered Martin saying something about a bad chest cold. “Work, habibi?” He nodded, levering him up when one cough turned into two into three, four, and Jon waved away questioning, fussing hands. “M’alright, darling.” He clearly wasn’t convinced. “The sooner you leave for work, the sooner I’m rid of Tim.”

“You know you love me.”

Jon’s eye roll was near audible and it felt good to tease and be teased back. With all the hurt they’d dealt each other in the past, the rekindling of their friendship had been fraught with setbacks as their wounds healed into scars.

They said their goodbyes, Martin giving instructions even as he was shoved out the door by Tim, who flipped the lock and joined Jon on the couch.

“Budge up.” Grumbling, Jon sat forward and let Tim take the place of all the pillows. “What docs have you been watching?”

“You said they’re boring.” Despite the faux vitriol in his tone, Jon shoved Tim like a particularly lumpy body pillow until he was in the most comfortable position before attaching himself to his side.

“Yeah, but the sooner you’re asleep, the sooner I can watch ATLA reruns.”

“Tiiiim.” Jon whined, body language belying his irritation.

“You love it.” Ruffling his hair, Tim offered him his mug of tea and another tablet, shutting down his whinging. “Gets worse at night. Don’t make me call Martin.”

“You wouldn’t.” But he downed both quickly, exacting revenge by knocking the air out of Tim when he crashed back down. They fell into an effortless silence and, sure enough, Jon was out like a light barely half way through, snoring just the slightest bit and probably drooling all over him; easy to ignore now that he had his own kids. True to his word, Tim switched to something more interesting, trailing firm fingers up and down Jon’s side when he became restless just episodes in, noticing suddenly a pair of dull brown eyes, half lidded and glassed over with fever staring up at him in confusion.

“Hey, bud.” Barely a whisper, trying to gauge where he was at and if he’d drift off again on his own.

“T’Tim?” Filled with awe and damp with tears, Jon’s voice shook. “You, you’re alive.”

Aw, hell.

“That I am.” He tried to will the sleep back into him but Jon’s stubbornness wasn’t having it.

“B’but why. Why are you h’here?” And as soon as the last syllable slipped past his lips static rose in a tide to envelop them. As it crescendoed, Jon’s eyes went round as saucers, welling with the panic seizing up his limbs and causing him to tremble and shake. Tim let it wash over him, giving in without a fight at the same time Jon scrambled to mitigate the damage he was sure he’d done.

“Martin asked me to watch you.”

“I, I, I’m sorry, I--” A too-fast breath caught ragged in his chest and he doubled over, choking on frantic apologies and fear. This had happened before, back when things were still fraught between them. Fever and illness loosened Jon’s grip on the Beholding and Tim knew he hadn’t meant to compel him but he was already somewhere else, too far away for any reassurances to reach.

“Easy, easy, I know. It’s alright.” With one arm Tim pulled him out of his contorted knot, reaching for Jon’s inhaler at the same time, shaking it hard and murmuring encouragement until he was able to draw a tight half lungful of air between chattering teeth. “Okay, I’ve got you, I’m not upset.” He splayed his fingers over Jon’s breastbone, running his thumb back and forth over his sweat damp shirt. “Deep breath and hold.” In a practiced tandem left over from so long ago Tim depressed the button and Jon inhaled and held until it exploded from his chest. “One more time.” And thank god it came easier because Tim did not want to call the station and explain to Jon’s husband how he sent him tailspinning into a panic attack. Later. But not now. For now, he listened to the push/pull of oxygen finally flooding into Jon’s system, felt the overwarm draught ghosting against his throat as he collapsed into him, lax and loose. “Good job, buddy.”

“Tim...are we…?” Jon shifted, sighed, hot forehead resting on his neck.

“Shh, just relax. You’re not well, and in a minute we’re gonna do something about it, but for right now, just rest.”

“Tim?” Martin was kicking off his boots and stripping himself of his uniform before he even made it to the sitting room. “How is he?” Immediately, he began fretting over him, waking him when he went to check his pulse, test his temperature.

“Mmm.” Petulant, Jon turned his face into Tim’s jumper, fingers twisting up in the wool as he tried to escape Martin’s poking and prodding. “M’fine…”

“He’s fine, Martin. Probably more than ready for bed.” Untangling him, he nudged Jon forward so Martin could gather him up, smiling when Jon wrapped spindly arms around his neck. “Had an ‘accident’ during a spike, but he probably won’t remember it.” Fond, Tim ran a hand over his head.

“I can’t thank you enough. Can’t imagine where he would have wandered off to with me at work and Em away.”

“Anytime, Marto. Now, put him to bed, he’s a damned limpet like this. You’ll never get anything done if he doesn’t sleep it off.” Tim let himself out, contemplating his copy of their key before locking the door behind him.

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

Obey Me: The Brothers Accidentally Trigger an Abused MC: Leviathan (3/7)

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert on abuse or mental health. I’m not portraying how one should respond to these situations, only how I think the characters might. Abuse and trauma in particular are very complex topics, and people respond in all sorts of ways to them, and sometimes it gets really bad on all sides.

I can only draw from my personal experiences as well as those of people who have shared their stories or who I’m close with. There’s no one narrative of abuse and how it affects someone, so what I’m familiar with might not be what you’re familiar with. Let’s try and all be respectful of each other.

Content Warnings: Heated arguments, reference to past abuse, parental abuse, trauma response, breaking down in tears, this is quintessential hurt/comfort y’all, buckle up

Sorry this took so long! I was kinda struggling with it on top of irl events causing some major delays. ^-^;

Lucifer (X), Mammon (X), Leviathan (you are here), Satan (X), Asmodeus (X), Beelzebub (X), Belphegor (X)

Oh, Levi. The reclusive otaku, ranked third in power by the Demon King but seemingly outclassed by his brothers. Not a model like Mammon, not intimidating like Lucifer, not intelligent like Satan, not confident like Asmo, not strong like Beel or cunning like Belphie… How terribly fitting that his distinguishing power is envy. Between his childish obsessions and his social awkwardness, it is easy to dismiss him as, at worst, whiny and insecure. But envy begets resentment and bitterness.

Envy heralds fury.

MC is trying to make up for the TSL quiz incident by spending more time with Leviathan. They’ve seen how he gets when he’s upset, but that was in response to deceit and cheating. Considering he’s a demon, they (sort of) understand his reaction. And besides, when he’s not nursing a grudge over being wronged, he seems nice enough. 

It doesn’t hurt that Levi’s elaborate collection of merchandise genuinely fascinates them. Any otaku’s collection of fandom goods is nothing to sneeze at, but Levi’s is several thousand years in the making. All kinds of unique and limited edition collectibles line the demon’s room like a densely packed nerdy museum. A little too densely packed, in fact.

One figurine of thousands.

MC doesn’t know Devildom figurines, doesn’t know which ones are unimaginably rare and twice as expensive.

They don’t mean to bump into that shelf while navigating Levi’s cluttered room.

But the shelf and their side collide nonetheless.

One figurine in thousands of pieces.

Leviathan is, naturally, livid. A stream of insults fly forth from his mouth, but MC hears none of them. All they can register is his voice, the shattered porcelain, and the roiling dread in their gut. Not again not again not again-

Levi advances, still shouting and waving his arms, “A normie like you can’t even imagine how much that was worth!” 

A particularly animated gesture whizzes by MC’s face and they collapse to their knees, bent over with their hands over their head.

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msosososorry, please don’t hit me again!” 

“They don’t even make these anymo- Wait, what?” the Avatar of Envy registers the state of this human. “I didn’t- I’m not gonna-” He starts to lean down and MC abruptly sits up on their knees.

“I-it’s okay!” they say, eyes wide and glossy. “I-I’ll fix it, I’ll c-clean it up, I can put it back together!”

They gather the broken pieces of the figurine in shaking hands, not reacting when the sharp edges slice up their palms. A puddle of shards and blood forms in their hand, but they don’t stop. They can fix this, they’ll clean up their mess, they’re not worthless, they can do this much at least, then maybe their punishment won’t be as bad-

“MC! You’re bleeding!” Levi says arbitrarily. He instinctively reaches out to stop them from collecting more fragments, but they flinch and drop a few, which prompts them to slam their other hand on the ones that remain.

The pair freeze. Leviathan can’t even hear the usual hum from his aquarium. Achingly slow, he turns MC’s hand around.

A large fragment is embedded halfway through their palm. They make eye contact, slit pupils boring into rounded ones that are still years and years away.

Leviathan runs to get a first aid kit.

When he comes back, MC is in the exact same position he left them in. The blood still oozes from their cuts and the shard in their palm is as large and intimidating as ever. Levi decides to deal with the smaller cuts first.

“MC,” he whispers. Their head snaps in his direction, but they don’t speak. “I’m going to take out the shards from your hands, okay?”

It takes them an agonizing few seconds to nod.

“Alright, just give me your hand, we’ll put the shards here for now…”

Taking out the pieces of the figurine from MC’s hands and bandaging them up takes Leviathan a surprising amount of time. While the hand MC used to hold the pieces they had picked up initially seemed like the easier one, there turned out to be an incredible amount of tiny shards in their palm, and finding them all was an ordeal in of itself. The bigger piece was much simpler to deal with once it was removed and the bandages were in place. 

He did have to hold MC’s hand until the bleeding slowed though. And that was honestly the most stressed he had been throughout this entire ordeal. It was while he was keeping pressure on their wound that MC gradually explained what had happened. As a child, their parents had been incredibly strict, and no mistakes or accidents were ever tolerated. Sometimes, the punishments became… physical. 

He might have gripped their hand a little harder than necessary after that.

But it has been a couple of weeks since this incident, and both MC and Leviathan have managed to develop quite the friendship despite the initial setbacks. MC’s bandages have come off, leaving their hands perfectly capable of responding to yet another of Levi’s texts.

Come 2 my room asap

got smth to show u ^-^

In less than five minutes, MC presents themself at Leviathan’s door. He opens it, and instead of the usual demand for a password, he simply waves them in and runs off to the bathtub he calls a bed. MC follows and immediately their nose wrinkles. An unusual smell permeates Levi’s room. It almost smells like… sawdust? Yes, like someone had been carving, with an added layer of liquid glue. Lots of it. The aroma is giving them a bit of a headache, to be honest. 

It all makes sense when Leviathan presents them with a wooden plaque in the shape of a heart. On it is a mosaic of two outstretched hands made of familiar porcelain shards and an engraved message: Accidents are A-Okay! A little engraved Ruri-chan giving a thumbs up completes the gift.

Levi holds it out with one hand, the other one covering his mouth as he asks, “D-do you like it?”

But when he comes back, MC is nowhere to be found. In fact, Levi never sees them again for weeks. This normally wouldn’t be unusual, given that he rarely leaves his room, but didn’t MC want to become friends? He thought they were on a pretty good track, bar a couple of, uh, incidents.

...Were they avoiding him? 

Levi can’t help but fixate on their last meeting. Yes, he probably overreacted a little bit, but that figurine was limited edition! And it’s not his fault MC reacted like that! He certainly didn’t ask them to clean up those pieces, and he even left to go get them a first aid kit! He was totally going to bandage them up, like that scene in Help! I’m Trapped in a Zombie Apocalypse and Keep Reliving My Childhood Trauma! 

It’s not fair, he thinks as the weeks drag on. He didn’t mean for them to get hurt. He didn’t even do anything this time! Why are they still punishing him like this? 

To make matters worse, he is the only one MC is avoiding. While they had made themself scarce for a few days, eventually they had started spending more time with the brothers again, and seeing them get closer to everyone else makes the Avatar of Envy’s blood boil.

He decides that if MC wants to hang around a bunch of normies instead of him, that’s on them. He refuses to stay in the same room as them, aside from meal times, and even then he doesn’t acknowledge their existence when it’s not strictly necessary. 

Even still, hearing them make Satan laugh, or playfully flirt with Asmo, or even coax a small smile out of Lucifer… he can’t help the envy burning hot and acidic in his chest.