#like first ill puke but then ill cry

[constellation-skirmishes]

they rotate the same 3 roasts every argument

c: you need to use some toner, vod.

r: you need to get some dick, vod.

(not cloneshipping. go away)

[moon7jay]

omg I'm so in love with the way you write 💖

can you write first time with jungwon but his girlfriend is a bit traumatized by men cause of her bad experience? we really need gentleman jungwon yaay

I rarely write soft sex so bear with me if this isn't as good anon 🫡

DELICATE (y.jw)

MINORS DNI

Warnings : mentions of trauma, panic attack, smut, ig that's all?

Your mind went blank upon hearing the glass bottle crash on the floor, no longer intact it was shattered into pieces with the perfume it held inside gone to complete waste as the expensive fluid seeped into the carpet.

your hands shook as u heard jungwon's voice calling for u from the other room, your throat tightened and your vision started to become hazy, terror filling up your body, freezing it from inside out. You stayed rooted to your place, your heartbeat sounding too loud in your ears as u heard jungwon's footsteps get closer to where u were.

Panic was beginning to overtake u, your mouth gone dry and hold tightening on the dust cloth you were holding in your hands. Your eyes began to water and it was becoming difficult to breathe

"Baby what was that noise? You okay? " Jungwon's voice sounded muffled to you with the blood rushing to your brain. You looked up at him with distraught eyes as your boyfriend finally noticed the shattered perfume bottle.

His perfume bottle, to be precise.

"I-im so sorry, sorry j-jungwon I'm so s-sorry,it was an a-accident"

his head snapped up at hearing your trembling voice, taking in your shaking figure he took a step forward towards u. This action made u flinch, your trauma induced reflex working faster than u could comprehend, bringing two hands in front of you to protect yourself from the oncoming strike as you let the dust cloth fall to the floor and shrinking yourself in size as u begged for forgiveness.

Jungwon was stunned. What the fuck.

He halted his advance towards u instantly upon seeing how terrified u actually were of him. At the same time, he couldn't just stand there while u sobbed on your own. He slowly approached your crouched figure and took your hands softly in his own, removing them from the front of your face, revealing your tear stained cheeks, terrified eyes looking up at him to gauge his next move.

"I'm not going to hurt you baby" He whispered in a soothing tone, hoping it would bring u back. He wanted to puke. Seeing you like this was something he didn't want even in his worst nightmare. You thought he was gonna hit you? You? his sweet little love? he felt an insane urge to scream

Your form stayed frozen, quiet sobs and sniffles coming from your mouth as u stared into his love filled eyes. He loved you. This was your jungwon. He would never hurt you.

"I-ill buy u another, i-i promise I'm so s-sorry, please" u started crying again, fear overtaking all your senses, just the thought that he could stop loving you or leave u over ur stupid mistakes made you cry harder. Why were u such a loser, no wonder your ex didn't love you, no wonder he called you worthless, all u did was destroy things.

"Hey hey hey, look at me y/n, look at me baby-his warm hands cupped your wet face, breaking your inner monologue-i don't care ok? I don't care about that stupid perfume bottle, u can break hundreds of them, here, break this one too I don't give a single fuck"

He grabbed another expensive perfume bottle from his collection behind you and handed it to you

"Just stop crying, I love you, nothing matters more than u y/n, nothing, do u believe me baby? " He asked exasperatedly, his own eyes filling up with moisture just thinking about how deep your past suffering must be for you to react this way. His thumbs continually swiped under your eyes as warm moisture kept seeping from your eyes. But u were beginning to quiet down, nodding slowly,your body had stopped trembling and jungwon took this as a cue to finally wrap your heaving form in his arms. God you were so small, he felt a raging urge to hurt whoever had dared to damage your self esteem in such a drastic way.

He sighed in relief when he felt your arms coming up to wrap around his neck, burying your face in his chest, sniffing quietly.

Jungwon realized that day that you were someone very delicate and fragile at heart. the fact that you had given him the privilege of coming so close to u even after all that u had been through, he thanked his lucky stars for that. You were his baby and he swore to always treat u in a way that would give u no chance of experiencing that hurt ever again.

His hands tightened around your warm, soft body, kissing your head and whispering sweet nothings in your ears, letting u know that he loved you.

your giggles were like music to his ears, watching you like this was something he could do all day, just listening to you talk about random things and adding his own jokes here and there, making you laugh and hit his shoulder. This was all he wanted. You were all he wanted. and damn did he want u so bad.

He could not focus on what you were saying as his gaze pivoted to your delicious lips, he needed a taste and he needed a taste right now. He leaned towards you and cupped your cheek in his palm. you stopped mid sentence and stared into his eyes nervously, his face was inches from yours and the proximity was making u fidget.

"I want to kiss u baby, please tell me u want that too" He whispered and watched in amusement as you blushed profusely and gave him a small shy smile. A small nod from you was all he needed to capture your tempting lips in his own. The kiss started off as soft, but your taste was addicting as he delved further into your mouth, pressing his tongue against your lips, biting softly on your lower one which made u gasp in his mouth, giving him the chance to protrude his tongue into your warm mouth. Your taste was addicting, he reached deeper, licking into your warm cavity with passion. Your hands fisted the couch material that u were sitting on. The kiss felt so good. You had never been kissed with such want before. you were trying your best to return his passion by tangling your tongue with his own when all of a sudden you felt his other hand beginning to slip under your tank top, caressing your naked skin. Jungwon felt your body stiffen underneath his touch and he stopped his movements immediately, pulling back from the kiss. He heard your sharp inhale before he saw the tears gathering in your eyes. He immediately cupped your face "baby what's wrong, did I make u uncomfortable? " He asked softly, trying to understand your boundaries regarding physical touch.

He knew physical touch didn't come easy to you, it was something you struggled with on the daily and you and jungwon had come a long way from the first day when u flinched even from feeling him hold your hand and now u were wrapped around him like a koala everyday. There was progress and he didn't want to ruin it.

"I-im sorry, I don't know what happened" u whispered, a few tear drops rolling down your eyes. This was your jungwon, he would never do anything to hurt u, u reminded yourself. He cooed and shushed you, kissing your tears away

"It's okay baby, I'm willing to wait for u for however long it takes, do u understand me? " He asked and u nodded. Your arms came up to wrap around his neck and u stared deep into his eyes guiltily

"I don't want you to think that I don't want you, because I do " u whispered but jungwon shook his head, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you into his lap.

"Never. and I mean it y/n. Never do something u don't wanna do just because u want to spare my feelings. I love you and I would never forgive myself if I ever became the person u have been running from till now"

His words made u tear up and u buried your head in the crook of his neck. U don't remember for how long he whispered sweet confessions and how proud of you he was in your ear until u eventually drifted off to sleep in his arms.

You loved kissing jungwon. And u guessed he loved kissing you too because everytime u both were in a close proximity, his mouth was on yours, desperately making out. But the more time you spent in your boyfriend's arms with his tongue in your mouth the more your desire for him deepened. Your thighs desperately rubbing against each other, trying to get some sort of relief from the burning feeling between your legs.

And u knew that jungwon saw it too, u had seen how he would break the kiss to look down at your rubbing thighs and his eyes would darken and he would kiss you harder, messier. But he never dared cross your boundaries even once. His hands staying respectfully above your clothes, caressing your sides or holding your face, never venturing to touch the parts of you that u hadn't given him permission to touch yet.

And you were beginning to feel so safe around him. Jungwon was your safe place, your safe haven. so different from your past. so loving that u weren't used to being desired this way.

His every action screamed his adoration for you, making you gasp at how someone like him could want someone like you. And as much as he wanted you, he respected you. So much so that he taught u how to respect yourself and your emotions.

u weren't used to that. u weren't used to this. and even though everything was new to u and there were so many new feelings to process, you were sure about one thing. u wanted to give yourself to jungwon. u wanted to feel him intimately.

"um, wonie? " your hesitant voice captured your boyfriend's attention from where he was sitting working on his laptop, atop the couch

"Yeah sweetheart?" He asked u, his eyes looking at your figure sitting in the middle of the bed in nothing but his shirt. you blushed at the nickname and played with the hem of his shirt, making it ride further up your thighs. Your breathing became heavier when u saw how jungwon was ogling at your exposed thighs. One thing about your boyfriend was that he might not be able to touch u with his hands but his eyes were always caressing you every which way. His eyes and lust filled gaze were the reason it had been so difficult for u to control your desires from spiralling like this.

"Do u want to kiss?" u asked shyly, this was the first time u had taken initiative in matters like this

You almost laughed upon watching how fast your boyfriend was shutting down his laptop and sprinting to come close to you on the bed

He made u lie down on your back as he hovered over you, this was the first time u had been underneath him and u could tell that jungwon liked the view

"U know I always wanna kiss u baby, always wanna taste you" He whispered before lowering himself and capturing your lips in his own. You wrapped your arms around his neck, opening your mouth to make way for his tongue, slowly sucking on it, making him groan into your mouth. The sound reached straight between your legs and u were pulling away from the kiss to stare into jungwon's eyes. His panting breaths falling on your face

"Can-can we.. " u trailed off under his intense gaze, suddenly feeling too shy to tell him what u wanted. He sensed that as he bent down to kiss your nose

"Hey, tell me" His soft voice filled with absolute adoration made u more confident

"can we-can we try something new today? " u said, ur eyes looking for a reaction on his face, you bit ur lip when he smirked in shock and joy.

"Yeah? U wanna try something new baby?"

U nodded, pressing yourself closer to his body hovering over yours

"want u so bad won, please take me" u whispered at him and his jaw clenched.

Jungwon cursed under his breath and bent down to suck on the delicate skin of your neck

"Fuck u drive me insane y/n" He whispered, his hands moving down to caress your thighs, a sharp gasp leaving your mouth at his touch but before he could pull his hands away u were holding his hand there by urs.

"I'm okay, I'm okay I promise wonie" u assured him. His grip tightened on the soft flesh of your thighs at your words and he started caressing your flesh.

A sigh escaped from your lips upon feeling his touch, his touch made u feel safe, it didn't make u wanna run away. U closed your eyes and tangled your fingers in his hairs as he sucked small love bites throughout the length of your neck, his palms caressing every inch of naked skin they could find, finally getting the opportunity to grope your pretty body.

His pulled away to gather your shirt on your abdomen, revealing your panties underneath. You heard him curse some profanities while he pushed up the shirt further up your body, revealing your naval which made u bite your lower lip. His fingers prodded at your naval and he looked up at you with a hooded gaze

"Can i? " He asked, his voice heavy with lust and u nodded without asking him what he meant. U just knew that u were ready for whatever it was that he wanted to do. That's the reason why u were caught off gaurd when he started licking your naval, rolling his tongue around the skin of your abdomen, just licking your flesh, making out with it. You fisted the sheets around your head as he continued his ministrations. It felt so good.

His hands reached at the back of your bra and he was asking for your permission again. Soon enough u were left in just your panties, sweet moans filling the bedroom as your boyfriend kept sucking and groaning around your nipples, his hands rubbing over your slit from above your panties. Your fingers were buried in his hairs, pushing him further into ur flesh.

"J-jungwon, please, please" u begged for your boyfriend's touch, feeling your body burning, getting flushed with wanton desire

Jungwon came up to bite your lower lip and groaned at how wet you were, your slick beginning to ooze out from where he was rubbing u over your lace underwear.

"Gonna give u everything u want baby, ask me" he whispered and u moaned at the way his fingers were still pressing on your clit.

"I-inside, won please" you were too far lost into your desire to feel shy any longer. Jungwon looked at you with want, making u drip more. He watched your pretty body heaving and squirming underneath him and his inner beast growled to take and take.

But the way your big, innocent eyes were still fidgeting, his heart felt full of love for you. you were quite literally his everything

"R u sure y/n? We don't have to do this right now, I promise" he kissed your cheek, even though you could feel his hard on pressing against your thighs. You shook your head and kissed him deeply

"I'm sure, I've never been so sure about anything before baby, please make me yours" You whined and jungwon almost came in his pants at the pornographic sounds u were letting out.

Jungwon wanted to eat you out, but the bulge in his pants was starting to hurt, he needed to be wrapped inside your soft and warm pussy folds soon. He lifted himself off of you and finally unbuckled his pants, running his hungry eyes all over your panting figure as he got rid of all his clothes. God he had imagined u like this, naked and pliant underneath him on his bed a lot of fucking times but the real deal was a thousand times better.

You gasped upon seeing his hardened cock and u unconsciously rubbed your thighs together

"That's so big" u moaned and jungwon nodded

"worried it isn't gonna fit sweetheart?"

seeing u nod in worry had him chuckling. He hovered back over your body and inserted his tongue in your mouth while his fingers finally slipped aside your panties and started rubbing your clit in the earnest, swallowing your sinful moans.

Your hands tangled themselves in his locks again and u tugged hard when he inserted a finger in you experimentally, moaning softly

"Fuck, you're fucking soaking baby, so fucking hot" He whispered in your mouth as u continued to squirm and take his fingers in you. One became two , two became three and soon enough you were a blabbering mess, your wet walls clenching around his fingers, making him curse. Jungwon's tongue was tangled with yours when he decided to pull his fingers out of you, bringing the slick coated hand in between your kissing mouths, making you suck and lick on your own wetness while he did the same. Exchanging saliva and your wetness while u both made out messily.

"Taste so good baby, u're driving me crazy" Jungwon groaned, pulling back from your mouth and finally tugging at his cock. Groaning at the momentary relief, precum oozing out of it's slit, just turned on beyond belief. He ran his cockhead over your pussy, bumping your clit with his dick, making u gasp and moan, your hands fisting the sheets as you prepared yourself for the intrusion

"Ready? " He asked, his eyes looked loving as they stared at you, asking for your consent again and it made u fall in love a little harder with him. You nodded with a faint smile and he smiled back at you, coming back to kiss u deeply and lovingly, intertwining his one hand with yours, holding it beside your head while with the other he guided his cock inside of you, finally breaching your entrance in one thrust, swallowing up your screams.

Your hands came up to dig your nails into his shoulders as jungwon pulled out and thrust right back in. snapping his hips against yours with passion. You both stared into each other's eyes, panting and moaning into each other's mouth as he made love to you, your bodies brimming with pleasure

"Feels good yeah?" He groaned, hitting your cervix head on, his cockhead reaching that spot inside of you which made your mouth fall open, too lost in the pleasurable stimulation. u could only nod, bringing him down to kiss you again. Your thighs were covered in your leaking juices, the squelching sounds making it impossible for u to hide your desire. u were impossibly wet

The room was quite except for the skin slapping noises that your lust filled bodies were making, your hips chasing his hips, trying to grind back and moaning out your ecstasy. The tight, wet grip of your pussy around his shaft was making jungwon hungry, hungry for more and he started going deeper in you,wrapping your thigh around his waist. His thrusts remained slow but deep, stroking your insides, making you throb and clench.

Groans and whimpers of pleasure filled the room, whispers of "baby more" and "so good" being exchanged between the passionate sex. This was heaven.

"I love you" u whimpered as you felt yourself unraveling on his cock, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, making him groan at how u deliciously clenched around him, pushing him closer to his own high

"I love u so much baby, your pussy feels so good" He moaned capturing your lips again, fucking you through your orgasm, his hips snapping faster and harder

Needles to say, jungwon took u slow and deep all night long, u both not getting enough of mating and grinding, using your hips to pleasure each other. He fucked u. No.

He made love to you.

He made love to you like u were something delicate, something precious that he needed to handle with care.

[chaosology]

benched

— Sam Kerr x reader

based off this request, i hope you like it :) masterlist, gimme feedback!!!

warnings: pregnancy? slight injury to reader

“She’s getting so big now,” Sam sighed, “What is it now, an avocado?”

Her fingers traced the swell of your stomach, lightly tapping the beat of whatever song was stuck in her head. You and Sam had gotten incredibly lucky, your first round of IVF being successful and resulting in one of the most beautiful celebrations of your life.

“Sami, they said it’s probably a girl, we can be sure!! What if he’s just sneaky?”

Sam just laughed, rolling over to pull herself out of bed. This game would determine if you made it into the quarter finals of the World Cup, and your entire team had been training rigorously for it. The pregnancy had remained under wraps until just after the first trimester, when Alanna had caught you puking in a bush for the third time that week.

The pregnancy had been a hot topic of discussion among you and the team officials. They weren’t allowed to decide when you would stop playing and take leave, but you and Sam had talked privately to decide that you’d rest when the World Cup ended. The rough nature of the game put you at a level of risk you and Sam weren’t willing to take; and if you were being honest, the break was well deserved. You’d given your all for so long and wanted nothing more than to lay in bed all day, watching Sam play and browsing whatever shit reality shows were currently trending.

The little bump just barely peaked through your jersey, a small reminder of your love always with you. Admittedly, the influx of hormones had knocked your emotions around a bit - much to Sam’s enjoyment. You cried at commercials and got snappy with her over small things like the smell of her coffee, and it was probably the most adorable thing she’d ever witnessed.

The stadium was alive with the thrill of the match. The girls battled fiercely, determination evident in every pass, every tackle, and every movement on the field. Your movements were quick and calculated, darting in between the opposition to pass the ball over to Hayley.

In an instant you were on the floor, too shocked to even comprehend what had happened. The medics were on you in an instant, Sam having let them know before the tournament that you were pregnant and took priority. The pain wasn’t unbearable, radiating down your back to your legs. The other girl that tumbled was checking on you, apologising over and over. It was a genuine mistake, and you didn’t hold any ill will towards her. Half time had just been called, and so the rest of the team had come make sure you were doing alright.

Sam was also by your side, triple checking you were ok. She was stressing beyond belief, not just for you but your baby.

“You need to come off, love.”

“Huh? No, I’m fine. I’m- We’re fine.”

“No, you’re done,” Sam’s voice was firm, laced with concern. “I know we talked about it, but we cant keep taking these risks. The way you went down… It could’ve been bad.”

You were starting to get annoyed now. Hormones were making you more fired up than normal, and you got defensive quick.

“No. No, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m not made of glass-”

"No arguments," Sam's interruption was unwavering, her eyes locking onto yours with determined resolve. She knew you were annoyed, but she wasn’t willing to risk it anymore. She could also pull the Captain card if she wanted.

Your eyes were glazed over with a quick building fury. You were both too strong willed for your own good and it was quickly becoming tense.

“I’m your captain, Y/N. You’re done. I won't let anything happen to you or our baby."

You had only pushed her hand away and walked off, angry tears falling down your cheek as you sat down with a huff. Sam’s palm ran down her face as she sighed. She knew in her heart it was the right decision, but she couldn’t help the sinking feeling in her chest when she saw you cry.

You had spent the rest of the game in a mood, your head resting in your hands as you glared at Sam. You knew it was irrational, you knew she cared - but right now, it was just an overwhelming flood of emotions. The win and cheers that erupted as the penalty kick went through fell on deaf ears as you shrunk in on yourself, now nauseated too. Perhaps the baby was angry too. Fair enough.

Sam’s eyes met yours as she jogged over, leaving the celebration in the centre of the pitch. Still moody, you looked down at the ground and kicked your feet, twirling your wedding ring as you did so.

“I know you’re mad. I’m sorry.” her hushed voice let out. You offered only a scoff in response, becoming more and more engrossed in the ring by the second.

“Hey, look at me”, she reached out, her hand grabbing your chin. “Look at me, Y/N.”

You let her move you like a doll, your chin tilted up as she hovered over you. If you weren’t still trying to be mad, you’d definitely tell her it was hot - time and place, unfortunately.

“I’m sorry I was strict. I’m your captain and your wife, I’m just looking out for you and our girl… I got scared, I’m sorry if it wasn’t what you wanted. But you’re my responsibility on this field, and I’ll make any move possible to stop you from getting hurt.”

You were embarrassed now. All she did was care while you were stubborn and proud.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled “I was so awful, I didn’t mean it. I know you’re doing what’s best”

“Hey, hey,” her fingers lightly tracing your jawline as your face “don’t say that about yourself. You’re making a person, Y/N. Our baby. Your body’s doing all these crazy things, it’s ok to let it get to you sometimes.”

Your eyes welled up again as she brought you in for a kiss. The stress left your body as you relaxed into her.

She stepped back, pulling you up to meet here eye. “Come celebrate with us, you got us here too.”

You giggled, letting her pull you back to the pitch with a skip in your step. The girls were hugging and crying, yelling all sorts of things at the top of their lungs. You and Sam made your way into the middle of the group, hand in hand with smiles as large as life.

“Don’t think I didn’t hear you call baby a girl, Sam. You owe me fifty if it’s a boy!”

[rottenpumpkin13]

So, you did sick Gen, but how does everyone else act while sick?

• Sephiroth has the immune system of an ox, and rarely—if ever—gets sick. So when he is hit with the flu or some other common illness, he acts as if he has the plague. But he's not overtly dramatic about it. For reasons likely linked to his childhood being cared for by Hojo, he often chooses to retreat somewhere and suffer alone instead of being taken care of. But if someone finds him they will think he's dying.

*Zack finds Sephiroth on the floor, in fetal position in a dark corner of the break room*

Zack: Sephiroth! What happened!?

Sephiroth: The illness has taken hold of me, Zack. I'm not sure how long I have left. I did not expect to perish pathetically this early, but I've made peace with my fate.

Zack: What do you have??

Sephiroth: A common cold.

Zack:

• In the same vein, Genesis has the immune system of a common medieval rat, but is vocal and loud about it. He wants everyone to know just how miserable he is so that they give him attention and sympathy. Genesis is so dramatic when he's sick, in fact, that if he ever contracted an illness with no cure, he'd abandon everything and start upon a war path until he found one. OH WAIT.

*Genesis is laying sick on the couch while Angeal and Sephiroth work*

Genesis: Sigh.

Angeal & Sephiroth:

Genesis: SIGH.

Angeal & Sephiroth:

Genesis: Oh for fucks sake. *Sets a couch cushion on fire*

Angeal & Sephiroth: GENESIS

Genesis: YES GIVE ME ATTENTION

• Angeal doesn't believe in sickness, so when he's not fussing over his sick friends and going "oh come on, it's not thaaaat bad, you're fine!" (<- something he once said to Genesis, who was puking up blood) He's refusing to acknowledge his own illness and "powering through it."

Sephiroth: Angeal, are you alright?

Angeal: Never felt better.

Sephiroth: Are you sure? You must be cold, you're trembling.

Angeal: I'm just excited to start the day.

Sephiroth: Your lips are blue. That's not normal.

Angeal: Men can wear lipstick too, Sephiroth, don't be toxic.

Sephiroth:

• As much as Zack would love to have Angeal's willpower, slay a horde of tonberries whilst simultaneously coughing up snot and continue to be a hero like it's no big deal, he can't. He tries, but the more he exerts himself, the more the illness soaks up his energy and he becomes weaker. Zack isn't used to not having energy and it bothers him. He becomes irritable, stressed and moody.

Sephiroth: Would you like some tea?

Zack: wOuLd yOu LiKe SoMe TeA?

Sephiroth:

Zack:

Sephiroth:

*Zack starts crying*

• Cloud is the only normal one here. He got sick? Bummer, he still has work and a mountain load of responsibilities that won't wait for him to get better, so he toughens up and takes his medicine at reasonable hours (he has a tendency to forget to take medicine when he's sick but shhhh), he drinks liquids, he sees the doctor, all is well.

Lazard: Strife, I hear you, Zack and the entire First Class caught the flu.

Cloud: We did.

Lazard: Where's Sephiroth?

Cloud: Sleeping in the cupboards in the break room.

Lazard: Angeal?

Cloud: They locked him in a closet to stop him from working.

Lazard: Zack?

Cloud: He cussed out Tseng in a fit of rage and I haven't seen him since.

Lazard: Genesis?

Cloud: He's out selecting a coffin for himself.

Lazard: And you? Why are you on duty instead at home, resting?

Cloud: Because I'm poor, director.

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Hii!!! Can you do Jeff and Toby reacting to Y/N having an autistic related meltdown?

Male or gender neutral reader pls :]

I'm not autistic, nor have I ever witnessed an autistic meltdown, so I hope I did ok!

Also, apologies Jeff has more, but only because of the information about the "cool down room"

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeff

There are a number of creeos in the mansion, all with different disabilities, mental illnesses/disorders, etc

That being said, there are usually plenty of fidget toys, nice things for you to touch and feel with that aren't the worst textures in the world, and I also like to think that after a while, Slender had a "cool down" room put into the mansion

Said cool down room is a dark, quiet room for anyone to go when feeling overstimulated, feeling anxious, or just needs a break

It has plenty of cozy resting spots, pillows, a huge pillar designed to look like a lava lamp and you even have the option to play soft music if you would like

There is usually only 1 or 2 people in the room, so it's never too crowded

And tonight was one of those nights where you just needed to be in a quiet space

It was one of the mansions monthly get togethers, where everyone came into the dining room and feasted upon lots of delicious food

There was something there for everyone, and at first, you were really enjoying yourself!

But after you finished your food and had talked to a few of your friends, you kind of just mingled to yourself

And as time passed, you began to get more and more overwhelmed

There were so many people, and too many noises and the amount of smells wanted to make you puke

Eventually it began to feel like your clothes were too tight and you couldn't breathe

You began to stim as discretely as you could (whether it be quietly vocally stimming, or trying to slowly physically stim is up to you!)

You were certain that if anyone talked to you, you would end up either crying or snapping at them

Jeff noticed, and pulled you aside "hey, you ok? You look a little nervous"

You shook your head and tried to stop the tears from falling

"Is it ok if I touch your hand?" He asks

You nod

He holds your hand and begins to lead you to the cool down room

Once there he sits down on a bean bag and pats the spot next to him for you to do the same

You sit and stare at the floor, trying to calm yourself down

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" Jeff says in a hushed tone

You shake your head and continue staring at the floor

He gets a blanket and wraps you in it, holding you close to him and sheilding your eyes from the outside world

His cool skin is nice on your warm eyes

Jeff is an asshole, but you were thankful he cared about you enough to do this

Toby

Like previously mentioned, there is a "cool down room" in the mansion (go read the first few bullets of Jeff's part if you would like more info)

It is one of your favorite rooms, so you find yourself in there quite often

Toby, also being on the autism spectrum, also stays in there from time to time

You've helped him through numerous meltdowns and panic attacks, and he is eternally greatful for you

So when he wondered into the room to you with a very frantic look on your face and constantly fidgeting, stimming, covering your ears, etc (up to you and your personal experiences!) he knew what was happening

Normally he doesn't like to be bothered when he's in this state, so he decides to ask you a few questions

"Are you ok?" "Do you want me to stay?" "Do you need me to do anything for you?"

After you answer all of these questions, he is either sitting next to you, trying to comfort you or he is sitting on the other end of the room comforting you from afar

If he is next to you, he is holding you in his arms, quietly rocking back and forth with you

If he is opposite to you, he is offering you water, snacks, and stim toys

Either way, you end up getting through it (as tough as it was) and thanking him for staying

He of course, is quick to tell you that you can always come hang out with him if you ever need or want to

You end up spending the rest of the day together, foraging in the woods, eating weird foods or just staying in the cool down room

You wrap up in nice blankets and falling asleep

Its just so cozy in there, you can't help it!

[alittlebitofloveliness]

can you please do prompt 2 and 4 with johnny cade?

Outsiders Prompt Fic #5- Why does it hurt so much?

Hi anon! I chose prompt 2 to write for this one. Enjoy!

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Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain.

When he was three mama had dropped him taking him out of the bath and he’d hit his head bad enough to give him a concussion. When he was six dad had broken his arm after he lost a little league game and cried about it. He’d survived more beatings than most kids could even dream of- even most east side kids. He’d been sworn at, screamed at, kicked, punched, slapped, and on one particularly memorable occasion when he was fourteen, walloped with a two by four when his old man had been laid off from his job at the lumberyard. He’d even been jumped, bad enough that that horrible white scar tore down his face would be a permanent fixture he was still trying to come to terms with. Over the years he’d come to learn how to grin and bear it. He took every beating in silence, because crying or begging or even screaming only ever made them worse. He’d laughed with broken ribs. Smiled through a puffy lip. Leaned against his friends even when it pressed against his bruises, until pain became first a constant and then an afterthought, simply another fact of his miserable life. You spend enough time in pain, he’d come to realize, then being in pain just becomes normal. 

Which is why it’s strange that the stomach flu of all things seems to be able to bring him to his knees- literally. He’s currently puking in the Curtis’ bathroom, unsure if the vomiting or the agony radiating from his stomach is what’s forcing tears from his eyes.

God, his stomach hurts. He can’t remember anything ever hurting this much. Not even that time mama pressed his palm against the stove when he was eight and accidentally spilled the dinner she made.

“Easy Johnny, you’re alright,” Pony is here, the quiet, supportive pillar he’s always been that makes him Johnny’s best friend in the whole world. Though a part of him is embarrassed that anyone is here to witness this, a much larger part of him, the part that is tired, sick and in pain, is infinitely glad that Ponyboy is here. Pony won’t judge him, never has, never will. Pony will take care of him, the way he has for the past three days, and not make him feel like a baby. Everyone else, whenever they’re around, has hovered and coddled. Pony is just present, his worry quieter, his care soft with love but not pity.

Even Dallas had been weird about this, the whole Johnny being sick thing. He’d acted like a spooked horse when he first got sick and not reappeared after he first came by to check on him two days ago. Maybe if Johnny wasn’t feeling so lousy, he’d care more about that, try and puzzle out why. As it is, it’s all he can do to make sure he makes it to the toilet every time he needs to puke.

It’s a strange illness, one Johnny is quite sure he never wants to experience again. Crashing waves of nausea and pain for hours, followed by brief reprieves where he believes he’s started to turn a corner before the nausea returns full force. It’s a vicious cycle. Johnny hates it.

He’s so tired. 

“It’s just the stomach flu,” he murmurs to Pony, slumping bonelessly against his friend’s side. The younger boy presses a glass of water into his hand, and Johnny lifts it to his lips, his hand shaking like a leaf, “why does it hurt so much?’

“That’s just the thing ain’t it Johnnycakes? I’m startin’ to think it isn’t just the stomach flu.”

Pony’s getting real worried now, Johnny can tell because his voice always gets a bit younger when he’s anxious and he starts immediately looking around for Darry. But Darry isn’t here right now, is at work for at least the next hour. Soda and Steve are both working close at the DX, Two-bit is nursing his own sick kid sister, and Dally is still wherever Dally is. If the chips turn down- and they will, because Johnny knows he must have been born under a bad star for all the times luck is never in his favour- Pony is all he’s got. The thought isn’t as daunting as perhaps it should be. Here he is, sick and not entirely conscious, and all he knows is he trusts Ponyboy Curtis with his life. For all Ponyboy is two years younger, for all he’s the baby of the gang, Johnny doesn’t know anyone he depends on as much as him.

“Probably not,” he admits. This isn’t right, he knows it, has known it since yesterday even. The stomach flu shouldn’t feel like there’s a hot iron stuck in his abdomen, shouldn’t make him half paralyzed with pain and unable to think properly. “Whatever it is, I think it might be bad.”

“Darry’ll be home in a hour,” Pony says decisively, and if Johnny wasn’t so sick he doesn’t think he’d be able to hide his grin at the fact that for all Pony complains about his eldest brother, he’s always the first person he goes to in a crisis, “I’ll give him a call, see if he can hurry along, and we’ll get him to take you to a clinic.”

“Don’t got insurance,” Johnny points out. If he went to the doctor, it wouldn’t matter if this illness didn’t kill him because his old man sure would, “can’t afford no hospital bills.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Ponyboy waves his concern off, “Darry got Dal to get you a fake insurance card. It’s a real good forgery, looks as good as my real one. Far as the state’s concerned, you’re me when you’re sick.

“I ain’t passin’ those hospital bills to you guys!”

“Well we ain’t takin’ no for an answer. If you need a hospital, you’ll go.”

Johnny can tell he means it. He also knows Darry and Soda will back him. All the Curtis boys are as stubborn as they come, and selfless to boot.

He sighs, too tired to argue.

“Alright.”

“I’ll go give Darry a call,” Pony says, squeezing his shoulder gently before he leaves. 

Johnny counts the tiles on the bathroom floor as a fresh wave of agony rears it’s ugly head, causing sweat to bead on his brow and harsh breaths to force their way through his clenched teeth.

He’s only managed to count thirteen tiles by the time Ponyboy returns with a cool cloth and a relieved expression.

“Darry’ll be here in twenty minutes,” Pony tells him, pressing the cloth against his burning neck. He can’t help but sigh at the feeling. It does nothing to dull the pain but offer something else to focus on, but for Johnny that’s enough, “he was almost done anyway but his forman let him go early since it’s an emergency.”

He bites his lip, and Johnny can tell he’s trying very hard to decide whether he’s going to say whatever it is he’s thinking.

“Dar…darry says he thinks you might have appendicitis,” he says at last. Huh,Johnny thinks, that kind of makes sense. With his luck, it’s not surprising his own organs have decided to mutiny against him. “He says he was worried about it yesterday but now he’s pretty sure. You’ll definitely need the hospital.”

At this point, if a hospital can make the pain even lessen, it’ll be worth it.

“Thanks Pony,” he leans his head against his best friend’s shoulder, too tired and too sick to do anything else.

Pony rests his own head on Johnny’s, long hair tickling Johnny’s cheek, until Darry bursts in in all his superman glory and takes control of the situation the way he always does.

Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain, but with a friend like Ponyboy Curtis to help him through it he doesn’t really mind.

[tadalyme]

whumptober, day 2

There are many things Finnick Odair is good at. He's good at swimming, good at fighting, good at making knots. Good at baking decently tasty bread. He's also very good at pretending.

It's a skill he's honed throughout his whole life, ever since he was a little child. Pretending that he likes his mother's vegetable casserole. Pretending that he's completely fine when his father leads him to Mags’s house, his hand held in a forceful, painful grip, and proclaims in his booming voice that it would be the greatest honour for his son to train for the Games, right, boy? Pretending that he isn't scared to die and to kill.

Pretending that all the things that are done to his body on a regular basis aren't happening to him.

It’s somewhere past three at night and Finnick is sore and extremely dizzy and in the backseat of a car, coming back from his client. He’s in a car, because despite being just a District whore, he's an expensive one. President Snow doesn’t want anyone else to harm his investments. At least, not anyone not paying.

He’s just glad that it was the only appointment for today, because the guy, a flamboyant man in his thirties, a grandson or a nephew or a step-son of one of the influential Gamemakers, wanted to spice things up a bit in his sex life and made him swallow some colourful tablets before the act itself.

Well, it certainly spiced things up for Finnick, though probably not in a way the man intended to. He spent the whole time hearing the colours, and tasting the sounds, and seeing the images from his past and present all mixed up together.

The man was pounding into him and moaning and exclaiming something animated and probably over-the-top sexual in his shrill voice, but all Finnick could think about were the glistening in the sun tridents and spears and knives, and faces of the dead children, and his late father and ill mother and disappointed sister, and, for some reason, the Capitol's latest obnoxious vogue of inserting precious gemstones into their skin.

He desperately wanted to cry, so he laughed frantically, and he wanted to push the man away from him, too overstimulated, so he willed his muscles to relax.

The lights of the never-sleeping party area of Capitol fly by dizzyingly behind the window and Finnick has to lean onto it in an attempt not to puke. It's got a bit better in the past half hour, but the thoughts are still floating around his brain like dozens of little brightly-coloured butterflies. It’s hard to properly grasp any of them in a sticky daze of disorientation, though.

The car stops near the entrance to the Tribute Centre and he staggers out, swaying on his feet and almost ending up on the pavement. His limbs finally rearrange themselves in the correct order after a few moments and he musters a lazy salute with only some of his usual flourish to the back of the driving away car.

Still performing, even now. Gods, what a mess.

He doesn't know how exactly he reaches the elevator, but he does and the numbers swirl a bit in his eyes before settling down properly on the buttons.

He remembers well the first time he was here.

The thing is, he wasn’t even supposed to participate in the Hunger Games that year. That questionable honour was supposed to go to Jacob Maren, not yet eighteen, but the oldest among the trainees.

Instead, Dorothea, their escort, gracefully put her powdered hand with baby-blue nails, that matched her enormous wig, and pulled out his, Finnick's, name. There was a bit of a standstill after that - Jacob locking eyes with him across their separate pens. Should he volunteer, should he not. Finnick was too young yet but still a Career. In the end, Jacob stayed silent.

Just as well, thought Finnick, pushing through the crowds to the stage and already putting on a brilliant wide smile, I've trained for this, I can win, it'll be easy.

He knows now what his dumb, arrogant younger self didn’t understand back then - that even if you manage to become a victor, the only one who ever wins the Games is the Capitol.

Jacob did go the following year and died to a back-stabbing One girl. And Finnick has spent three years cursing that day and all that led to it.

Gods above, it has only been three years, hasn’t it? It feels much longer than that, so far away, so long ago. Almost like ancient history.

He did kind of make history with that one, didn’t he? The youngest Victor ever. A fat lot of good that did for him.

Fourth floor. He practically falls out of the elevator, only managing to catch onto the wall at the last moment.

Mags, curled up on the couch, perks up at the sound of sliding doors. In the dim lighting of the lounge her silver hair looks like a halo above her head. Ironic. It makes him burst out in a fit of hysterical high-pitched laughter. One would have to completely lose their marbles to call the woman an angel. An angel of death, at best. Some forget it, but she also killed in her Games, the same as all of them. And she's led enough kids to their deaths in the following years. He loves Mags with his whole heart, but she's no saint.

Mags always waits for him on appointment nights. He wishes she didn't see him like this, wishes no-one saw him like this and often snaps at her, but she only tuts in disapproval and keeps doing it. Despite his temper tantrums, he's glad she does.

Mags looks him over and frowns and he's sent down the rabbit hole of memories again.

They approach him the next day after he turns sixteen. The two of them look grim and apologetic and he doesn't know what to make of it.

‘I’m sorry, Finnick, I’m so sorry about what's probably going to happen,’ Mags says and lets out a sigh, sorrowful and tired and world-weary, and he, in a rare moment, is reminded of how old Mags really is, ‘Just… Remember that you can always talk to me, no matter what.' She inclines her head a bit, gesturing at her companion, ‘Or to Delia, if you need someone who truly gets it.'

Delia, who is wringing her hands half a step behind Mags, and looks like she’d rather be anywhere else, glances at him and gives him a bleak, perfunctory nod. He doesn’t know why he would need to or want to talk to her, but anyway it’s quite unlikely that he will take her up on this offer.

Finnick knows Delia, of course he does. Delia, a constantly nervous, twitchy Victor in her forties, teaches knife-throwing, and knife-stabbing, and other knife-related skills to the trainees and has never seemed to be a particular fan of long conversations. She's communicated with them mostly with sharp nods and half-aborted, jittery gestures, always looking on edge and shaky.

Her hands have never ever shaken with a blade in them, though.

Then, he gets the summons to the annual post-Victory tour party and President Snow asks to speak with him in his office after. He's told in detail what he's expected to do, now that he's finally sixteen, and what will happen if he doesn't.

Oh.

Oh.

That's what that meant.

His first appointment with a client is the next day and it's the beginning of the end.

His sister screams at him a few months later, when he returns from one of his trips to the Capitol, ‘They don’t care about you, you stupid boy! Why won’t you understand that! Why the Hell do you keep going there?’

But it’s her who doesn’t understand, who could never understand. He can’t tell Carolyn, he can’t, not just because he doesn’t want her to know what he does, but because he’s not allowed to.

President Snow was quite straightforward about what would happen to his ill mother and his sister with her husband and their baby twins, if he were to tell anyone, even them, anything. So he keeps quiet and let them think the worst of him. The same thing that everyone else does.

(Other than his fellow victors, who are all aware of the work he and the ones like him are made to do, the only person who doesn’t look at him with badly concealed disgust, or jealousy, or fake friendliness, or lust in Four is Annie Cresta. Her eyes (also sea-green, though a few tones lighter than his own) only ever look at him with sympathy and pity these days. He would have absolutely hated being looked at like that not long ago, but now it’s just so goddamn refreshing. He used to find her annoying with her righteousness and softness when they trained to be careers together, thought her weak and kind of cowardly, but maybe there is actually nothing wrong with gentleness and timidity, he ponders.

Of course, it’s hopeless, getting used to even such a small thing. Annie Cresta is a Career. She will go into the Games soon. In a couple of years she will likely be dead.)

Mags approaches him slowly, telegraphing all her movements clearly, trying not to spook him. He must look bad, because she checks his temperature with a hand on his forehead. From her pursed lips and scrunched eyebrows he gathers that it’s not very good.

'What, doctor, am i dying yet?' he ironizes.

'Well, you certainly don't look too lively, boy,' she snaps back,'Sit down, I'll be right back.'

She lets him settle on the couch and leaves to fetch her first-aid kit. They’re not allowed to bring any pills to the Tribute centre, so as to not let tributes get anywhere near them, but she has some other basic supplies. Luckily, today they are no flesh wounds to patch up.

She comes back with a thermometer in her hand. And that’s what sends him over the edge and into hysterical tears, the goddamn thermometer. It’s an old-fashioned but trusty mercury thermometer, very common back in Four, but considered obsolete by Capitol standards.

Finnick, having been many times in the local medical over the past year and a half to get patched up after rough encounters with clients, is intimately familiar by now with Capitol’s high-tech, reliably produced in Three.

She waits a bit before his sobs and shaking subside, finally takes his temperature and asks,'You're burning up. What on earth happened to you?'

'He gave me something, I don't know what,' Finnick replies reluctantly and watches her face twist and her arms cross on her chest. She's staring at him pointedly.

'Do we really have to?' he groans,'I'm almost fine by now. You're only wobbling a bit in my eyes.'

'Come on, up you go,' she pulls him up, surprisingly strong for a seventy-year-old, and leads him to his room, to the bathroom. She walks out again and returns with a glass and a closed water bottle.

She fills the glass with tap water and makes him drink it again and again and then throw up, repeating and repeating it until there's nothing left in his stomach at all.

Then she hands him the water bottle, lightly shoves him in the direction of the needlessly overcomplicated shower and exits.

When he finally emerges into his room he's almost feeling like himself again. Mags is still there, leaning on the frame of his bed. He finds some clothes to sleep in and drops next to her. She hums softly and smooths his hair out, running her fingers through his wet curly locks.

She's been much gentler with him since his Games, but she's taken a fancy to him a long time ago.

He was a bit of a troublemaker as a child, like little boys so often are, always sneaking away to the creek to play on the wet rocky shores, or trying to catch fry with his bare hands, or diving from the pier to see how long he could hold his breath, generally making his mother exasperated. He showed up at home in the late afternoon tired but joyful after a day of exploring with a wide toothless grin, seaweed in his hair and damp dirty patches on his knees.

His father didn’t like that much. So at a ripe old age of seven he’s dumped on Mags’s doorstep, who looks at his father weirdly over Finnick’s head and then takes a look at him, slowly lowers down to his eye-level and grasps his tiny hand with her veiny, old-woman one. ‘Well, well, well, what are we going to do with you, little one?’

She's never been cruel to any of the trainees, definitely not, but she wasn't particularly warm-hearted either. She was kind, but also stern and strict, like a proper trainer. He knows that it's because, despite all the preparations, most of them would die in their Games. She didn't really believe that he would win his Games either.

But he survived and she became more willing to show her affection for him after that. And to him, she, the person who practically raised him, instead of his distant mother and constantly angry father, has always felt the most like a real family, even when she acted all grumpy.

He drifts to sleep, relaxing under the silent watch of the only person in the world he fully trusts.

[sorrowfulrosebud]

KEIKO IS SO CUTE I LOVE HIM

Keiko Bakugou

Content: some more talk about Keiko bc you all love his cute little ass

Genre: there are a lot of mentions of illness and near death experiences so I’m gonna label this as angst but it’s very fluffy in places too!!

He’s just a little baby :(( sometimes Katsuki wonders when Keiko is cuddling into you if he took on more of your human traits than his wolfy traits.

He isn’t complaining in the slightest; he loves all of his children fiercely and would move mountains for them. Sometimes he just finds it hard to believe that someone as fierce and mean as him managed to create something so small, frail and sensitive :(

Keiko also has very similar traits to you though. When Katsuki tried taking Keiko hunting alone, he tried befriending the small bunny they had found instead of trying to tear it to shreds.

Keiko has the worst immune system of all of the pack, cold-ridden throughout his first winter in the cabin as his siblings all played in the snow, just watching sadly from his bedroom window as his bones shiver with cold. He can’t even sit in the porch to watch his brother and sisters play since he’s already so feverish and his nose has not stopped running.

If you were being totally honest, you were frightened that he wouldn’t survive his first winter. You knew your babies would most likely be struck with some disease during winter but you hadn’t anticipated being stuck at your son’s side as he puked up his food and panted in bed with sweat rolling down his face.

He eventually recovers and is well enough to play with his siblings once again, and that is what triggered the protective streak in Akira and Aika. They were petrified of Keiko’s state and when they saw you crying in Katsuki’s arms due to how ill their brother was, they knew that they had to keep him safe. Kokoro was still worried of course, but she tried to be a true big sister to Keiko by trying to bring him some little chew toys from their toy box. (You stopped her; you couldn’t bare it if more of your children got this dreaded disease but you did take them in yourself and told him who they were from).

Keiko is definitely your sweetest kid. He’s the first one to give you and Katsuki cuddles in the morning and tries so hard with the household chores. His favourite chore is probably dusting the high places in the cabin since it means that Katsuki has to pick him up and zoom him around so he can reach every little speck.

Keiko is just a loving little child :(((

[moroser]

[incoming long and personal and dark post]

it dawned on me that it’s april and that means it’s been 6 years since i stopped doing drugs. big achievement. i did weed the whole time, thinking i needed it to keep away from the worse stuff, but i stopped that too, almost 2 months ago now. everything i’m about to talk about i did without anyone in my life (offline) noticing and all by myself.

my entire life has been unstable and so difficult. and i mean difficult and sad. i used to drink pretty heavily, but i stopped when i found pills. i was taking pretty much any opioid i could find, i even stole them. i was text book addict with pills. i had every excuse to keep going with it, it made sense to me at the time. i was in so much pain mentally, emotionally, and eventually, physically. taking them was reprieve. 

eventually, i was taking so many a day, quite honestly i should have died. my brain was blank, i lost my creativity and i stopped drawing, which is the one thing i love the most to do. create. even though i did not stop, the fact i felt nothing in that realm anymore was heartbreaking. i’d spent several nights staring at the ceiling practically waiting to die. i had one dream that i can remember while on drugs and it was of me staring at myself opened-eyed and dead on my bed. it shook me.

the drugs affected my ability to think, cry and feel, then one day on my way to work, after taking so many, i got so sick on the side of the road on the freeway several times. eventually i pulled off into a town i didn’t know and passed out in the parking lot of a gas station for who knows how long. i woke up dazed with the taste of puke in my mouth, and totally dehydrated. i missed work, i was embarrassed with myself. i have no idea how long i sat there for before getting out of the car to walk around. eventually i made it home but i felt like i wasn’t the same after that. 

decided to detox (after trying before, and failing), which was the worst events i’ve been through in my life. took days, nearly a week to get over the worst of the symptoms. i don’t think i slept at all. i was so sick, shakes and chills, vomiting, etc. i let spongebob play for the entire time, that sponge grounded me lol. i’d made it through that time. and i stuck too it, using my desire to feel my creativity again and wanting to be better to my body to stay away from relapse. 

2017 i cleared my system of alcohol, pills, energy drinks, pop, and the only thing i’d let myself use was weed because i felt it would stop me from everything else. and technically, it did. it aided me for a long time. but the passed ~3 years i’ve been so ill with stomach issues and nausea and throwing up that i decided to stop that too. 

so now i’ve been completely sober for 1 month and 21 days. for the first time since high school i have nothing in my system that is altering me the way substance abuse has. it’s been a major adjustment. my focus is shit, my sleeping is difficult and my dreams are insanity. it literally feels like i’m sleeping just to wake up somewhere else because my dreams are so vivid and clear. i wake up every four hours having to adjust and remember i actually live here, not in dreamland. i didn’t dream at all while on drugs or weed, so in a way, i welcome the vibrancy of them. 

looking back, none of those things helped me. they only broke and shrouded my spirit with a darkness i don’t want to feel ever again. i want to be healthy and i want to give my body the chances that it deserves. i want to heal properly. i want to live so much. i want to find someone to be with that will understand me and accept me even with my flaws and history. i feel better already, but i know there’s still a long journey ahead and i can only hope it gets better. i deserve better. i know i’m a good person. i know i have so much creative potential in me and it’s what i want to give my energy and soul to.  

thanks for listening, if you read this. i am proud of myself for getting as far as i have but the support from my friends and strangers online has been a colossal sense of communal help i’ve never had offline. sharing my art has been a big help and just people enjoying it means so much to me. thank you.  

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

Cyno passing out from illness situations that got me goin brrrrr

he’s been sick for only a day or so, but I’m imagining it’s horrific food poisoning. Maybe his go too restaurant has finally failed him. Regardless Both ends, and both ends a lot. It’s a wonder he still has so much in him kinda wonder like how is he still getting sick?? So he’s dealing with that, and per his and Tighnaries agreement when it hits late at night he wakes nari up. Tells him he feels like death, can hardly talk around the nausea. And while he knows he isn’t bout to puke he does know he doesn’t have long till he needs the bathroom anyways. He rushes off and the cycle begins. Now, I’m imagining later, after a few rounds of illness if your choice, nari is up trying to find something he can take to help calm his stomach. Cyno then comes *wobbling* out of the bathroom and in a full daze seems nari out in the kitchen. Hunched over, and shivering. Maybe Cyno mumbles something to him and as nari turns around he sees Cyno- his brown skin gone practically grey- and sees him DROP to the floor.

tighnari is fast, he does to grab him but not before dropping the tea or whatever he was holding, and maybe Tighnari gets hurt too. A cut or a burn or something that requires attention later 100% plus his anxiety is through the roof cuz holy hell normally he can catch it when cyno is looking pale.. but it’s late at night and the sickness came on sooo fast, and neither of them are awake enough to navigate this normally. And now Tighnari has a passed out boyfriend, a broken mug and an injury to deal with. What does he address first? How does Cyno end up coming around and how does he deal with knowing how much chaos nari had to deal with all on his own? I feel like in the end Cyno would try hard to reassure and calm nari down despite being sick, because frankly Tighnari was * scared *

also I think cyno trying to comfort Tighnari while still in the recovery position and still feeling wretched is both really endearing and kinda funny

WAIT WAIT WAAAAIT I LOVE THIS, I LOVE THIS SO MUCH—

This actually feeds heavily into my brainrot, because even though I'm in more of Lyney mood right now, I have been brainstorming for the next Cynonari fic on my list 👀

Okay I'm absolutely in love with this. First of all, yes to that scenario, I'm really craving a severe sickfic. Like give me a character that borderline has to consider the ER because they're that sick. And of course poor Cyno is a brilliant candidate, because he always is! (I'm so sorry Cyno, I really enjoy making you miserable in my writing)

I've also been thinking a lot more about the whole "Cyno gets light-headed when he throws up" thing, so your timing is brilliant with this ask.

I'm envisioning this already.

Cyno is approaching, his legs like jelly beneath him. Tighnari hears his footsteps and hears him say something, and he's opening his mouth to tell Cyno he shouldn't have come looking for him, he would have been right back- only before he can make a sound he locks eyes with Cyno and sees just how horrific he looks. And it's like everything goes into slow motion because suddenly Cyno's knees are buckling and Tighnari sees his eyes start to roll back, and he just throws down whatever he's holding and sprints to catch Cyno. He catches Cyno in time but his own balance is thrown off and he basically goes down with Cyno, but it's okay, he stopped Cyno from getting hurt or knocking his head on anything.

I can see Tighnari remaining calm on the outside, but on the inside he's panicking. When all is said and done later and he finally gets to breath, I imagine him just sliding down to the floor somewhere with his back against the wall and breaking down into silent tears because he can't remember the last time he was this stressed out and worried over Cyno.

Also that image of Cyno trying to comfort Tighnari while he's still in the recovery position pale as a ghost,,, I can't decide if I want to cry or laugh at that 😭 That is really sweet and loving and wholesome, but Cyno you really are in no state to be doing the comforting

Damn I love this idea, I might need to work it into the last Cynonari Novemetober fic??

[evesaintyves]

989 words, for @remadoramicrofics prompt "haunted."

Read it below or on AO3 🎸

Tonks's old bedroom floor is a mess of rumpled t-shirts and her rattiest underpants. Five days since Remus took off his ring, knotted the strings on his traveling case, and told her he'd made a terrible error. All she's done is sleep. She dozed off on the macrame throw pillow and it left a crisscross red rash on her cheek, went downstairs before she noticed, and her Dad gasped, "Dora?" 

She just fled back upstairs without breakfast.

It's not even her throw pillow. Mum has snuck them in her old room sometime since she's been gone. Other things, too, an elegant white bowl to hold all the knuts and plastic hair clips and ticket stubs that were scattered across her chest of drawers. Mum's things, minimal and clean, make Tonks's stuff, the fairy lights and the thrashing band posters, seem like they're trying too hard. It's just like her last year at school, the stress-cracking of all the faultlines between who she is and who she is supposed to be. She was constantly reinventing herself back then—a new chin, a chelsea cut, a ring in her eyebrow. But she's not the only one in charge of her body anymore. It's making decisions without her.

And it's so shit to want Remus here to settle behind her on her squeaky old bed, tuck his bony knees into the parenthesis of her legs, stroke his skinny fingers up her arm and say, like he does, that he's sorry—but at the same time to want to scream at him so hard he vapourizes into a fine red mist.

In the afternoon, her mother does her two-tap no-time-to-pull-your-knickers-up knock and comes in with cups of tea.

"Your father tells me you've been looking ill."

"I'm not."

Andromeda sits on the side of the bed.

"You were a terrible pregnancy," she says. "I'd have sworn you were trying to fight me from the inside."

Tonks pulls her knees to her chest. "This one's a scrapper. I can tell already."

Andromeda smiles into her cup.

Tender moments have a way of making Tonks show her belly. Her mother doesn't say much, just sits and keeps her company, and before long Tonks is compelled to overshare. That she isn't even sure Remus ever really loved her, but maybe loved an idea of her that she led him on into believing while they were still just awkwardly clicking teeth in stolen moments at headquarters; an idea worn smooth and shiny by those months they were apart.

Almost as soon as she married him she was up the duff and puking, breaking out in spots faster than she could morph them away. Still having dreams that Sirius was just tilting on his heels—suspended in the moment he might have been saved—waking up choking. Remus seemed perturbed that she could spend hours staring at the telly, not watching, just trying to shush the noise in her head. It seems so stupid now, but she'd really thought that he, of all people, would understand.

"My mother used to tell me," Andromeda says, "that I'd better stop all my moping about, that men don't care for girls who brood. And that I'd never get married and out of her hair, acting that way."

"What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything. I made a plan and then I climbed out my window in the middle of the night. Your father picked me up in his old car and took me to his parents' flat—you know the story. Let me tell you, Nymphadora—" She pins Tonks with a look. "—how much brooding I did in his old bedroom. I was a wreck. The room smelt of some horrible potion he used on his model railway. The carpet crunched underfoot. And I was worried about what was going to happen to—to some of the people I left. I was crying every night. Waiting until your grandparents left for work in the morning to creep into the kitchen like a ghoul. I had..." She pulls her posture up straight. "Difficulty adjusting, at first."

Tonks's throat is getting tight, and tears are needling the rims of her eyes. It's not just that she's grabbed for that kind of love story and missed; it's also that her mother never talks to her like this—spilling the way Tonks sometimes does, talking fast, saying things she probably shouldn't. It makes the world feel all the more unfixably cracked.

"Dad—Was Dad...?" Tonks can't even finish, her voice is cracking and squeaking. She curls forward and hides her face in her mother's sleeve.

"He'd lie with me—and touch my hair. He used to tell me if I didn't eat I'd disappear and it was going to be very difficult to explain to the officiant why he had an invisible bride."

She says it gently, sadly, as if she knows what it'll do to Tonks, and she's right. It's full waterworks now, the type Tonks has always sworn she wasn't going to do over a bloke. It's coming out her eyes and nose, it's thick and salty in her mouth, it's getting all over her mum's silk blouse. She's going to hate that. Tonks flops back against her pillows, sniffling, wiping her face with her palms, automatically morphing the puffiness out of her eyelids.

Her mother turns to inspect the shiny web of snot Tonks has left on her sleeve. Her face gets that pinched, long-suffering look for just an instant. Then she takes Tonks's empty cup of tea and stacks it in her own, and tucks Tonks's feral bedhead back behind each ear with her cool fingers.

"Supper's at seven," she says. "Your father's trying out a lasagna."

She shuts the door behind her when she goes, and it's just Tonks and the frenzy of the rock bands on her walls: forever joyfully flailing, forever faithful to their own silent beat.

image: egon schiele, woman lying on her back

[lovelyleclercs]

Chapter Three- In Denial

Arthur Leclerc x Sofia Sine

-> Arthur finally learns the truth about Sofia's illness.

warnings- this chapter is a bit brutal, I'm not going to lie. Mentions of cancer, fainting, puking, Herve's passing, angry Arthur, crying, if you have read the original version of this story, you already know

word count: 2948

Sofia laid in bed, staring at her ceiling as she tried to build up some courage to get herself out of bed. It had been 7 days since her first treatment, and she was feeling the worst that she had felt all week. No matter what she tried to do to get more energy in her system to do even the simplest things, nothing seemed to be working.

As she glanced over at the clock, she noticed that it was nearly 8pm. She had gotten a text from Arthur earlier that day, asking if she would like to come out with him for dinner that night. Sofia had agreed, thinking that she would be strong enough to do so within a few hours time- she was very, very wrong.

Sofia grabbed her phone to send a text to Arthur, however as she was typing the message, she heard a snippet of his voice coming from downstairs. Sofia turned her focus to the conversation happening between Arthur and Charlotte, hoping that she would be able to understand what the two of them were saying to each other.

“She told me at like noon that she wanted to go out to dinner with me.. It’s the first time she has agreed to do anything in nearly a week..”

“I know Arthur, but she is really sick right now and I just don’t think it is a good idea for her to go out tonight. It’s not safe for her…”“What do you mean it’s not safe?”

“Arthur, it isn’t my place to tell you what’s going on with her. She is going through a lot right now and she is scared, sick and hurting. You need to understand that the best thing for her right now is to stay at home.”

“Well can I spend some time with her upstairs in her room then?”

Charlotte nodded, knowing that Arthur would go up there regardless. “That’s fine. I’m not sure if she is awake or not though.”

Without another word, Arthur made his way up to Sofia’s room, knocking on the door gently. “Sof? It’s me… Charlotte said that going out tonight wasn’t a good idea.. So I figured I could just hang with you here tonight? We could watch a movie?”

Sofia looked over at the door, knowing that a very clueless Arthur was standing on the other side, dying to see her with his own two eyes. “Come in”

When Arthur walked in, he closed the door behind him and made his way over to Sofia’s bed, sitting down on the edge of it as he looked up at her with worried eyes. “Sof? Are you ok? Charlotte was just saying some things that made me worried… What’s going on?”

Sofia couldn’t look him in the eyes at that moment. “Arthur I-”“I’m your best friend, Sof. You can tell me anything… I’m really worried about you… please…”

“How about we watch a movie? Ok? I’m really tired…”Arthur looked at Sofia, noticing how exhausted she was just from their small exchange. While he wanted answers, he also didn’t want to put Sofia through anything else as it was obvious to him she had been having a rough week. With a hesitant nod, Arthur climbed into bed and opened his arms for Sofia, allowing her to cuddle up to him, resting her head on his chest. “I promise… I will tell you eventually.. It’s just a hard thing for me to process and telling you would make it all so… real. You know?”

Arthur nodded and rubbed Sofia’s back gently, his eyes never leaving the TV screen as he listened to her talk. “I know, Sof. It’s just hard because I know you’re struggling and I can’t help you if I don’t know what is going on.. But part of me thinks that’s why you don’t want to tell me what’s going on.”

Sofia stared at the wall across from her as she pressed her head closer to Arthur’s chest, allowing her to listen to his heartbeat closely. “I’m sorry, Art, I know it’s not an easy thing for you to understand…”

“Let’s just watch the movie, ok? You will tell me when you want to, and that is ok. For now, lets just drop it before we get upset with each other”

Sofia nodded and pulled the comforter over the two of them, her attention turning towards the TV where ‘The Age of Adaline’ played. It was one of Sofia’s absolute favorite movies and one that Arthur had grown to love as well.

As Sofia watched Adaline sit in a diner with her daughter, she couldn’t help but notice how heavy her eyes had begun to feel. Even just the smallest conversation with Arthur had taken everything out of her, leaving her weak and exhausted. She felt her body relax against Arthur’s, her exhaustion slowly taking over her as she drifted asleep. Arthur knew better than to try and leave now. If Sofia fell asleep on him, he was spending the night at her house, no questions asked. It was sort of a mutual agreement the pair had made a few years back.

“You’re getting tired, Art. Maybe I should go home…” Sofia said as she played with Arthur’s hair a bit, trying to move her legs out from underneath his head. It had only been two days since Herve’s passing and Sofia hadn’t left Arthur’s side since. The two of them had spent the past 48 hours hidden up in his bedroom with little to no sleep as they both mourned the loss of Herve. They had turned on a random movie for some background noise and Arthur had laid in Sofia’s lap, crying the pain away as he thought of his father again.

“Please… don’t leave me. Stay here…” Arthur begged, his hand squeezing Sofia’s tightly as a few more tears slid down his cheek.

Sofia looked down into his eyes, wiping a few tears off of his cheek as she nodded, agreeing to stay by his side. “Ok, ok. I’m not going anywhere, Art. I’m right here” she whispered

Arthur sat up and laid down, Sofia following suit to allow Arthur to cuddle up to her. As she laid on her back with Arthur cuddled into her side, she gently rubbed his back. “I love you, Art. We will get through this, I promise. One step at a time.”

Arthur nodded, wiping a few of his tears away as he finally calmed himself down. “Can we make a promise to each other?” he whispered, his voice still shaky from crying.

“Of course, what is it?”“If one of us is going through a hard time, we stay the night with each other? I feel like I sleep so much better when you’re around”

Sofia smiled a little, knowing that she also always seemed to sleep a bit better with the comfort of Arthur being near. “Of course, Art. I love that idea..”

Arthur held his pinky finger up to Sofia, indicating that he wanted to seal the promise. Sofia locked her finger with Arthur’s and smiled. “I get to break your pinky if you break it!”

Sudden movement from Sofia snapped Arthur out of his thoughts, all of his attention turning towards her as he watched her make her way to the bathroom. “Sof?” he asked, but received no response in return.

Arthur got out of bed and made his way over to Sofia, just in time to catch her as she had become too weak to stand. “Oh my god, Sof… Are you ok?” he asked as he held onto Sofia as tightly as he could.

Sofia laid her head back against his shoulder, her eyes closed as she gave him a gentle nod. All of the commotion caused Charles and Charlotte to appear out of their room. “What is going on out here?” Charlotte mumbled as she rubbed her eyes, still half asleep.

“Arthur.. I need to talk to you.. In my room please..” Sofia said as she looked over at Charles and Charlotte, indicating that it was time to tell Arthur the truth. Hiding it from him was becoming too much, and she couldn’t keep pretending like she was ok anymore. Charlotte gave her a small, reassuring nod before heading back into her room with Charles.

“Sof, you just practically fainted in my arms, you can’t just act like everything is ok, we need to get you to the hospital or something!”

“Art, please. Can I please just speak to you in my room…” Sofia pleaded, looking into his eyes as she squeezed his hand tightly. After a few moments, Arthur had finally given her a small nod and helped her walk back into her room.

Sofia sat down on her bed and motioned Arthur to come sit down beside her. When Arthur was situated in his spot on the bed, Sofia took a deep breath. No part of this conversation was going to be easy. She knew that. But it needed to happen. She grabbed Arthur’s hand and looked up at him, tears already forming in her eyes. “I’ve been avoiding telling you for weeks because I.. I don't want you to drop everything to take care of me.”

“You’re stalling, Sof. What is going on..”

“I’m sick, Arthur. I have cancer…”

Arthur’s heart sank. He had already lost his father to this horrible illness, and now he had to watch Sofia go through the same thing? “How long have you known..”

Sofia looked down, knowing that answering his question would only upset him more. She could lie to him, tell him that she only found out yesterday, but she knew that the truth would get out eventually and it would cause an even bigger uproar.

“How long, Sofia?!” Arthur asked, practically shouting at that point.

“Since the beginning of January at the doctor's visit I had when you were in Ibiza” Sofia said quietly, her eyes unable to meet his.

“You’ve known for over a month? And you decided not to tell me!?” Arthur shouted, looking at Sofia in complete disbelief. How could she keep this from him for so long??

Sofia looked up at him, tears falling down her cheeks. She was too weak to fight back, too weak to explain to him that she was sorry, and too weak to even get up to hug him and promise him that everything was going to be ok.

“Unbelievable! All this time I thought I did something wrong! Everytime you canceled on me I was convinced that I had said something to you that ruined our friendship, instead you were sitting at home fighting off cancer???”

As Sofia stared at him some more, wanting to say a million things but having no energy to do so, Arthur finally had enough and decided to grab his phone off of the bed before making his way to the door.

“Arthur… please…”

Before Sofia could say anything else, Arthur had walked out the door, making it obvious that he was in no mood to continue the conversation. Arthur made his way downstairs, being stopped by Charles just as he was about to walk out the door. “Mate, where are you going? It’s like.. 3am you shouldn’t be going out there this late”

Arthur looked over at Charles with tears in his eyes. “Did you know about this?”

“Know about what?”

“Sofia’s cancer diagnosis”

Charles looked at Arthur and nodded hesitantly. “I found out by accident. I wasn’t supposed to know”

Arthur just shook his head and let out a sarcastic laugh. “I’m so pissed off I could fucking punch something” he mumbled as he rested his elbows on the counter and put his face in his hands. “This isn’t fucking fair!” Arthur yelled as he began crying into his hands.

Charles sat down beside Arthur and rubbed his back a little. “I know. I don’t know how this is happening to another person we love and care about.. But it is.”

“She is twenty fucking years old, Charles. It’s not fair. She’s too young for this… she doesn’t deserve this.. I can’t lose her too.. Fuck!!” Arthur cried, allowing himself to completely break down in Charles’ arms. Arthur was never typically a vulnerable guy, but right now he needed comfort more than ever.

Just as Charles was about to say something, Sofia appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, her own face filled with tears as she watched Arthur fall apart. She had done this to him, she was the reasoning behind his pain- and she felt absolutely horrible for it. “A-art i-im sorry…” she whispered, looking at him from across the kitchen.

“Why… why didn’t you just tell me…” Arthur asked quietly as he lifted his head up and made eye contact with Sofia.

Sofia sniffled and took a few steps closer to him. “You start your first season of F2 soon.. I didn’t want you to drop everything for me…”

“Sofia, you are my best friend.. If something is wrong with you, I want to know about it!”

Sofia nodded a little “I know, Art. You are my best friend, and by far one of the most important people in my life. That’s why I was scared to tell you. I didn’t want you to treat me differently, I didn’t want you to worry, but most of all I didn’t want you to be reminded of everything you had to go through with papa.”

Arthur looked down at the floor, not knowing what else to say to her.“My intentions were never to hurt you, Art. I was only trying to protect you, but clearly I’ve done the one thing I didn’t want to do, and for that I’m sorry.”

There were a few moments of silence, neither Sofia or Arthur knowing what to say next. After thinking that their conversation was over, Sofia turned around and started making her way towards the kitchen door, only to be stopped by Arthur’s voice suddenly filling the room.

“You helped me so much when papa died, Sof. I want nothing more than to be able to help you through the hardest moment of your life.. To help you heal and get better, to help you through this horrible illness.. To help you feel comfortable and safe.. But I can’t do that if you aren’t honest with me. I’d be lying if I said I wasn't hurt right now.. I understand why you wanted to keep it from me but it doesn’t make it any easier to process…” Arthur said as he got up and made his way over to Sofia. When he reached her, he grabbed both of her hands gently and started rubbing small circles on the backs of her hands. “I want to know everything from here on out, ok. Every appointment, every update, everytime you feel gross, whenever you need comfort, whenever you want company.. All of it, Sof. I want to know about it all. Please…”

“Art, you have to foc-”

“Don’t even say I have to focus on racing right now. You quit your dream job to be by my side 24/7 when papa was sick. You gave up everything just to make sure that I wasn’t alone. I'd give up racing in a heartbeat if it meant that you didn’t have to go through this alone.”

At that point, Sofia had run out of things to say. There was no use in arguing the matter with Arthur- he was set on making sure he was by her side every step of the way. “My next treatment is in two days. Each treatment is about three hours long, after that I come home and rest until the next one.”

“I’ll be there. I promise. For now though, let's head back up to bed. You’re exhausted, and honestly so am I.”

With a quick nod, Sofia slowly started to make her way back to her room. She had used pretty much all of the energy she had to come downstairs in the first place, so she was pretty much worn out. Arthur obviously didn’t fail to notice how much Sofia had been struggling and in one quick swoop, he lifted her up into his arms. “I’ve got you, Sof” he whispered before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Sofia laid her head on Arthur’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck to secure herself a bit better as Arthur carried her up to her room. Arthur very gently placed her down into her bed and pulled the covers up over her.

“Is that good? Do you need anything else?”

Sofia shook her head and held her arms open for him. “Remember our promise?”

Arthur smiled a little and nodded before climbing into the other side of the bed, allowing Sofia to cuddle up to him as she wanted.

“Thank you” Sofia said quietly as she laid her head on Arthur’s chest.

“For what?”

“You had every right to walk out those doors today. To leave me in the dust and on my own to get through this. You were mad at me and at the universe, yet you chose to stay here and support me.”

Arthur rubbed Sofia’s back gently and sighed. “Sof, I could never leave you to fight this alone. Never. So don’t thank me.”

Sofia nodded and cuddled into him a bit more. “Get some sleep, Art. We need it..”

Arthur pulled the blankets over the two of them and turned out the light that was on next to him. “Goodnight, Sof.”

“Goodnight, Art.”

Chapter Four

taglist: @hammickk @Cl16msc47 @majkaftorek @04ashely16 @itsrogersstufff @polyjuiceslytherin @lizziebitch33 @viktorie16

[yourcalamity]

the first time i tried edibles i didnt touch them again for ~6 months because i was living in cali at the time had a flight to visit family in az the next morning it was new years eve my roommates friends bring 25mg thc capsules try it cosmo lets get fucked up cosmo ill make my flight regardless well we did get fucked up and my roommates were very fucked up and also drunk and roommate #1 starts having a panic attack and thinks shes having a heart attack her wife roommate #2 pukes everyone is crying roommate #2 is flipping the fuck out the friends who brought the weed capsules appear VERY. uncomfortable! third roommate is calling 911 somehow i am roped into helping roommate #1 with breathing exercises knock knock whos there FLASHBACKS WHILE HIGH!!! i get rounded up into my bedroom the ambulance shows up. roommate #1 is fine. she had a panic attack. everyone is telling me this and im still high and im like THEYRE LYINNNNNGGG THEY DONT KNOWWW THEY DONT KNOWWW panicked all the energy out and im asleep. she was fine in the hospital the next morning and my coworker gave me a ride to the airport. i did not want edibles again for a while. little did i know i just needed to take them around people who are not californian.

[burgundybmw]

Munson's Mixtape

Masterlist

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Cunningham!Reader

Word Count: 2,643

Warnings: Brief vomiting (not ED related), ED mention, Shitty parenting (Mrs. Cunningham should be a warning herself at this point).

Summary: Chrissy has been acting weird, and like a good big sister Y/N drives to Hawkins from Notre Dame to check in on her. Only to find out she has plans to meet up with Eddie Munson. Things take a turn for the worse and now Y/N gets wrapped in to the horrors of Hawkins. Hey, at least she has the company of the guitarist she was sweet on back in high school for comfort.

Author’s Note: If the line about Black Sabbath sounds like I was projecting about my opinions of the Duffer Brothers writing for Volume 2, it's because I was. Also who do you think is going to confess first? I'd love to know your thoughts! Anyways, enjoy!

Track Seven

Chrissy always used to tell Y/N to always look for the silver lining. That just because something might be going wrong in life, doesn't mean it will always be that way. She said storms always lead to rainbows, and you should do everything you can to find that somewhere over the rainbow. Y/N was struggling with that now, finding that rainbow in the dark.

She had to go through every detail of what happened the night before, tell Dustin and his friends how Chrissy died. She was crying as she spoke, having to relive the nightmare. Eddie never let go of her hand. He spoke for her when she couldn't take it any more, vicious sobs racking her body. He didn't think they would believe them, who would believe a story like that? But they did, and they shared a story of their own, something far worse than Y/N and Eddie could ever imagine.

They told them the truth about Hawkins, or rather what was beneath Hawkins. They called it the Upside Down. A parallel universe that looked like the Hawkins they knew, but it was ruinous, sinister, and filled with monsters. That's where Vecna lived, the being that killed Chrissy. Eddie and Dustin explained how he must be some sort of dark spell caster, and through some wicked invisible force he was able to kill Chrissy. Y/N was sick to her stomach. The nausea threatening to spill over. This was too much. Everything was too much.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Y/N put a hand over her mouth and ran over towards a bucket that was next to the boat. The bile was rising in her throat, she could taste it on her tongue. Sweat was dripping down her neck, tears running down her cheeks. Until suddenly she heaved over the bucket, and emptied out the contents of her stomach.

"Shh, Shh, it's okay sweetheart. You're going to be okay." Eddie was rubbing circles on her back, comforting her as she threw up into the bucket. She felt embarrassed, getting sick in front of everyone. Shame followed quickly after that, when she realized that she felt relief once her stomach was empty.

Y/N thought she was passed this, she had gotten better. It took over two years, but she managed to recover. To get over the illness her mother instilled in her and Chrissy. It was the same between the two sisters, the bulimia. Mother would constantly talk about their weight, how they were getting bigger, that they were fat. She said it like was the worst thing that could happen to her daughters, getting fat, as if that matters. Y/N hated the idea of a relapse. She couldn't hide that from Eddie.

It was fine. She didn't make herself throw up, it was natural. She was fine. Everything was fine.

"Do any of you guys have water or something?" Eddie asked the group, hand still rubbing circles on her back. The dry heaving was almost done, nausea slowly ebbing away. Someone handed Eddie a bottle of water, and he gave it to her.

"Small sips, any more and you'll just puke this up too." She knew. None of this was new to her, but she was grateful for it anyway.

"I'm okay. Just give me a minute, I'll be fine." She drank the water in slow small sips as instructed, and Eddie stayed with her next to the puke bucket. It smelled disgusting, almost made her vomit again, but he didn't seem to care.

"Alright Princess, just take your time. We're in no rush here." Eddie wrapped his arm around her, so she could lean against him, rest her head on his shoulder. She didn't know how true that statement was, but it was nice to hear. The silence between the two of them was comfortable, until they remembered they weren't the only ones in the room.

"Eddie! You didn't tell me Y/N Cunningham was your girlfriend!" Both Y/N and Eddie whipped their heads over to Dustin, a big toothy grin on his face. Eddie removed the arm from her shoulder, as if her skin burned him.

“Nah man you got it all wrong, Y/N isn’t my girlfriend.” She looked down at her water bottle, Y/N didn’t want to see the look on Eddie’s face. It stung, how quickly he said it, like it was unimaginable.

“But you just had your arm around her? Calling her sweetheart and princess? I've never heard you call anyone that before. Dude, she came to Hellfire! You talk about-”

“Enough Henderson.” Eddie snapped. He was embarrassed, Y/N didn't need to hear about his pathetic crush on her. She was sick, grieving and in pain. Eddie moved over a couple of inches, giving her some space. Y/N hated the distance.

Dustin saw the looks on both of their faces, and it didn't seem right. The awkward grimace, they looked so comfortable with each other before. The kind of ease people who love each other have. Eddie had mentioned Y/N before, multiple times. Then there was the painting he did of her.

There was this art project Eddie had to do, something with water colors. He went to Dustin because he knew that he wouldn't give him shit for it, and asked for his opinion before Hellfire started. He did a mock up in his journal, an elf girl in a navy blue dress. Dustin saw that Eddie had an old year book open for reference, it was from his first run as a senior. It was open to Y/N Cunningham's senior page. She had her school photo in the center, alongside some pictures from cheerleading. One photo in the corner was her sitting on the bleachers, The Brothers Karamazov open in her hands. Dustin asked if the elf girl was supposed to be Y/N, but Eddie just got red in the face before he slammed the yearbook shut.

"If you tell anyone about this you're done Henderson." Dustin kept his mouth shut, even without the threat of Eddie's wrath he wouldn't have said anything. He knew what it was like to love someone who lived far away, he loved Susie so much and wished he could drive to Utah to see her. His mom said no, but Dustin knew that the day he got his license he'd make a plan to see her. He didn't understand why Eddie didn't do that, drive out to Y/N to see her. She didn't live that far away, and Eddie had a car. Now he understands why. He never told her how he felt about her. Eddie didn't submit that painting for his project, did some dragon instead. It was nice, but not as nice as the one he made of Y/N.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Y/N asked. Dustin and his friends all looked at each other, clearly not thinking that far ahead.

"I think you guys should just stay here for now. We can do a supply run in the morning and bring it to the boathouse. Try to stay out of the main house as much as you can, it's less conspicuous that way." Dustin replied, it was the most they could do at the moment. Eleven wasn't with them anymore, and even if she was her powers were gone. They'd have to figure this out on their own.

"Yea what Dustin said." Robin agreed. Eddie and Y/N nodded, and the rest of the crew began to head out of the boat house, with their promise to return.

"Wait!" Y/N and ran over to Eddie's duffle bag. She unzipped it and began to rustle through its contents. Once she found what she was looking for, she walked over to the group and handed over a pair of keys to Steve.

"These are my car keys, if it's at all possible can you go inside my car and grab the cassette tape that's inside the radio? The case should be in the glove compartment with my walkman. It's really special to me and I'd like it back." Steve looked confused, but nodded at her request.

"What kind of car is it?"

"it's a 1981 Black Buick Regal, license plate 4ST86E1. It's closer to the entrance of Forrest Hills." Steve nodded and pocketed the keys. The group said their goodbyes and walked out the door. Y/N watched the backlights of Steve's car slowly fade away, leaving her alone with Eddie once again.

Eddie was quiet, he hadn't moved from his spot next to Y/N's puke bucket. She would need to take care of that soon, before the smell began to spread. She didn't want to be close to him though, he was clearly uncomfortable with the proximity before. Y/N wished Dustin has kept his mouth shut. The awkwardness was back in full force. It was fine, she would just set up her hammock and go to bed. Maybe it would all blow over in the morning and they could pretend what Dustin said didn't happen.

"What cassette tape is it?" Eddie asked, it was barely above a whisper. Y/N stopped what she was doing. Out of all of the things she expected Eddie to say it wasn't that.

Y/N had two options: 1. Lie and say it's some random album, or 2. Tell him the truth. That she kept the mixtape he made her. That it was important to her. She knew the silence was dragging on for too long, but she couldn't find herself willing to lie to him. So she went with option 2.

"It's the mixtape you made me... the graduation present, remember?" Eddie couldn't believe she kept it. That she actually listened to it, and listened to it often. She said it was special to her. Something Eddie had made for her was special.

"You actually kept that?" Y/N turned to face him then, he looked genuinely surprised.

"Yea, you made it for me." She says as if it's common sense. Like that statement alone didn't completely rock Eddie's world.

"Yea, kind of the reason why I figured you'd toss it." He didn't mean to sound so pathetic, but that seems to be who he is now. Pathetic.

Y/N sighed and walked over to Eddie then, she tossed the mess inside the bucket into the water, filled it up and dumped it out again. Then she sat next to Eddie, a significant gap between them.

"That mixtape is my favorite, I listen to it all of the time. Every car ride, when I'm getting ready, walking around campus, it's always on me. You made it for me, and it was the first time someone actually made an effort to make a gift to give me. Well, someone who wasn't Chrissy. My parents sure as hell didn't, and none of my friends or ex-boyfriends did either. I like personal gifts, and this one was very personal. You paid attention to things I said, things I liked, and you added a part of yourself too. So yea, it's special to me."

Eddie wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her so badly, he thought that if he didn't it might actually kill him. It sounded so close to a confession, so close to what he dreamed about when he thought of what would happen if she did confess. But there was just no way. There was no possible way Y/N Cunningham felt the same way about him. If she did, why didn't she call him? She had his number. Whenever he saw her in town, she never came up to him, said hi, or asked how he was doing. Tell him that she thought of him. She was in the woods when he told Chrissy about the mixtape, when he said it was for a girl he was sweet on. She must have figured it out that he was talking about her, but she didn't comment on it. Eddie wasn't going to comment on it either. So he did what he was apparently known for now, he ran away.

"I didn't think you'd like it so much, but I'm glad I was the one to expand your musical horizons Princess. Now tell me, I'm dying to know. Which song was your favorite? And please don't tell me it was Uptown Girl, you might actually break my heart." He was lying out of his ass. He picked that song because every goddamn time he heard it on the radio he imagined it was them. That they were the couple old Billy Boy was singing about. A guy from the wrong side of the tracks, poor and not good enough for the girl he loves. The waiting lady, pretty and well off, taking a chance on him. Pathetic, truly.

"No, it's not Uptown Girl. Although I do love that song." Y/N laughed, angelic and full, and shook her head.

"To be honest, I don't know if I could pick a favorite. There were so many good songs on there. You Really Got Me is fantastic. Eddie Van Halen is probably like, the best guitar player of all time."

"I don't know, not to boost my own ego or anything, but I think I could beat him" Eddie didn't have much to brag about, but one thing he was good at was playing the guitar.

"Oh yea, battle of the Eddies. I'd love to see that." Y/N laughed again, Eddie moved a bit closer to her, trying to close the distance.

"Ha, me too. Could have you cheer me on during the most epic guitar solo of my life. But um, what else did you think?" Y/N thought about it for a moment, watching Eddie shred on the guitar. She saw the Corroded Coffin performance back in middle school, he was really talented back then. He must have only gotten better over time, she hoped she got to see him play again one day.

"Iron Man was amazing too. Black Sabbath has Ozzy Osbourne so that's a bonus, I love the sound of his voice. The lyrics tell such an interesting story. A fallen hero who was left alone and half dead, and the people he saved turning their backs on him? It gave me goosebumps." Y/N wasn't the only one with goosebumps.

"Overall though, if I had to pick a favorite. It would have to be For Whom The Bell Tolls. The guitar, the bells, the lyrics, everything about it. Metallica is awesome, my new favorite band for sure. Have you listened to Master of Puppets yet? It's incredible!" Has he listened to Master of Puppets, Jesus. It's not like he's spent the last 2.5 weeks teaching himself how to play it for nothing.

Eddie's idea of Y/N shifted then. He always viewed her as someone so far away from him. Pretty, popular, and preppy. Over the past 48 hours, he realized there was a side to Y/N that he never knew. He felt guilty then. He always hated how people placed a certain reputation on him. How they had an image of who he was and didn't look past it. He was the white trash trailer park freak, who probably worshipped the devil in his spare time. Eddie wasn't like that, and anybody who knew him would agree, but he did the same thing to her. He had this image of who she was in his head, but there was more to her than that. Yes, she was a pretty popular cheerleader, but she also liked Star Wars. She played DnD and apparently likes the same music he does. He should have realized it sooner, she used to read Russian literature for Christ's sake.

Eddie fell in love with just a fraction of who Y/N Cunningham was, and God help him, he was falling for the rest of her too.

Taglist:

@imchangkyunned , @creativedogs , @nightless , @kik51199 , @thecraziestcrayon , @dabzzallday420 , @science--hoes ,

[bultaoreunheyyy]

Rest Well

Title: Rest Well

Word Count: 752

Summary: Hoseok is coming down with the flu and Yoongi takes care of him (from a request).

A/N: I think I might potentially continue this one day but for now, here is a very short bit of sick Hobi and caretaker Yoongi

“Hey,” Yoongi whispers, pushing the door to Hoseok’s bedroom open slowly. He peeks in, checking to see if Hoseok is awake, then steps into the dark room. 

Hoseok shifts on the bed, but doesn’t answer.

“You awake?” Yoongi asks, padding over to the bed and setting a few things down on the nightstand. At that, Hoseok lifts his head from the pillow and squints up at him.

“Huh?”

And oh, Hoseok sounds sick, his voice hoarse and congested.

All day, he had sounded off, sounded tired and sick, but he had hidden his symptoms well and none of the others seemed to notice anything was wrong. Yoongi, however, had known the second he had seen Hoseok in the morning that he wasn’t feeling his best, and now that he’s looking down at Hoseok lying in the bed wrapped up in his blankets like it’s the middle of winter, he wonders how he was the only one to notice.

“I brought you some water and some medicine,” Yoongi says, eyeing the pink flush that dusts Hoseok’s cheeks. “Didn’t seem like you were feeling too well earlier,” he continues, bringing his hand up to Hoseok’s face. He uses the inside of his wrist to feel his forehead, and he frowns when he feels how warm the skin there is. 

“Oh,” is all Hoseok says, closing his eyes and leaning into Yoongi’s touch.

After a moment, Yoongi pulls his hand away and grabs the water and medicine from the nightstand. Hoseok rolls onto his side and sniffles thickly, his eyelashes fluttering like he can’t decide if he wants to open his eyes or keep them closed. 

“Did you catch yourself a cold, Hob-ah?”

Hoseok sucks in a trembling breath and shakes his head, and at first, Yoongi thinks he’s going to deny that he’s sick even though he clearly is. But instead, he looks up at Yoongi with sad, watery eyes and says, “No, I think it’s something else.”

“Something else?”

Yoongi frowns, pausing halfway into tipping pills into his palm for Hoseok to take. 

“Yesterday I thought it was a cold,” Hoseok explains, sounding so, so tired. “Today I felt like I was going to puke all day. I can’t get warm and I…” He trails off, swallowing thickly, and Yoongi can see him shiver. “I just can’t get warm.” 

His voice breaks on the last word and Yoongi’s heart nearly breaks along with his. He gathers Hoseok into his arms, cupping his hand around the pills to keep them from falling onto the bed, and when Hoseok sniffles into the front of his shirt he’s not sure if it’s from the illness or if he’s crying. 

With Hoseok next to him like this, Yoongi can feel the heat radiating off Hoseok’s body.

“Hey,” he whispers, using his free hand to rub up and down Hoseok’s back. “Let’s get some medicine in your system and then you can rest.” 

Hoseok tilts his chin up so he can peek up at Yoongi. “Okay,” he replies softly, shivering hard after he speaks. 

Yoongi uncaps the water and transfers the pills into Hoseok’s hand when he holds it out, his fingers shaking as they curl around the capsules. He helps him take a sip of water to wash them down, and then encourages him to drink a little more.

“Gotta stay hydrated,” he whispers as Hoseok shivers again and sags back against the pillows.

Hoseok drifts off quickly after that, the blanket pulled all the way up to his chin and tucked in around his shoulders. As he sleeps, Yoongi watches him with a frown. He’s not a fan of the way Hoseok’s brow creases in his sleep, the way he’s breathing through his mouth, a stuffy, labored sound. He pulls out his phone so he can send a message to the group text, letting everyone know to stay clear– they don’t need all seven of them coming down with the flu all at the same time– and then he pockets his phone before sliding under the blanket next to Hoseok.

Hoseok whines at the slight loss of warmth when the blanket is untucked from one side, but as soon as Yoongi presses himself up against him, giving Hoseok the comfort of his body heat, he settles again, his face relaxing into something a little less distressed.

“Rest well,” Yoongi whispers, leaning over so he can press a kiss to Hoseok’s fever-hot cheek before closing his own eyes and letting the sleepy warmth pull him under too.

[joellesolo]

I am fucking STRESSED.

It's hard being a chronically ill mom. It's hard during the 'normal times' to keep up with everything.

I've lost five pounds in the last two weeks puking my guts up because of the amount of pain I've been in.

But tomorrow? Tomorrow we leave for Anaheim. We're going to fucking DISNEYLAND. And that should be so fucking exhilarating, I should be so fucking EXCITED, but instead I'm just stressed out because I'm so worried I'll just be a strain on my family and won't be able to keep up and I'll just bring everyone down with my pain and fatigue.

First world problems, right? We've been planning this for over a year. I thought I'd be 'better' by now. Like, yes I know I'd be sickish, but, I thought the humira would have kicked in and I wouldn't be as sick as I am.

Fuck. I just wanted to have fun. I wanted to make this as special and magical as possible for the girls and now I'm worried that all they'll remember is how different their mommy is from normal mommies, and all that dumb shit, and I just want to cry.

Please send me good vibes if you've got them.