#like i dont want to invalidate people but i still want to bitch about it on my blog lol

[bl00dw1tch]

the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am

[symbiodyke]

hey not to be a bitter, one-upping asshole but this post is driving me insane with how fucking privileged it is. like I don't want to completely discount how upsetting and potentially traumatic this stuff is for these people but idk

parents arguing on family vacations is your Big Trauma????? must be nice LOL

[pastanest]

A/N: if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post

Cuddling Daryl Would Include

- so, Daryl Dixon is a bitch for cuddles. that goes without saying but is very much still worth saying

- however cuddling takes TIME, he’s gotta warm up to you a lot first

- and if you expect HIM to make the first move? hA! you waitin to die of old age too, gumdrop?

- bless him

- anyway

- Daryl is a very attentive lover, he pays very close attention to every aspect of you, even before you’re together. he cant help it, he feels this magnetic, gravitational pull to you

- he makes a mental note of things that have made you smile, jokes you have found funny, the kinds of reassurance you appreciate

- and he realises that you like giving people hugs, including him

- the first time you hugged Daryl it was like that Spongebob episode where there’s tiny Spongebobs running around inside his head and everything’s on fire and they’re all screaming but Daryl’s just standing there like 0.0

- but then he gingerly hugs you back and in a few seconds he relaxes and awh what a cutie

- but y’all werent even together then and that wasnt a cuddle so that isnt technically part of this SO

- cuddles first happen when you’re sitting next to him on his porch one night. you’re facing the street, but he’s sitting to the side, facing you

- and you’re like *sigh* and he’s like “What?” and you’re like “Well-“ and then you rest your head on his shoulder and he’s once again 0.0

- once you notice him relax, you lean into Daryl a little more, and he gets brave enough to wrap an arm around you and pull you closer, so your head is on his chest rather than his shoulder

- and he’s like dang I been missin out on THIS are you KIDDIN me????

- and you’re like *sigh* and he’s like “What now?” and you’re like “This is nice.”

- again technically not a cuddle but Daryl counts it as a cuddle so your cuddle judging is invalid go away

- as a certified cuddling champion, cuddling comes naturally to you

- literally. if you dont fall asleep cuddling Daryl then you can trust that as soon as you are asleep, you’ll be snuggling him and he’s like smh this cute ass

- at first, even tho you’re asleep he doesnt cuddle you back. cuz he’s scared, but also cuz he cant tell if you actually want to hug him cuz you’re asleep and he doesnt want you to wake up in his arms feeling uncomfortable

- but one day you ask Daryl about it and tell him that you absolutely want to cuddle him all the time wtf how does he even think u think otherwise wh???

- so that night, when you’re asleep and you snuggle into him, Daryl pulls you closer and wraps his arms around you

- he stares down at you for a while, brushing strands of hair out of your face to admire you, but his fingertips dont stop caressing your face even when he cant see it clearly in the dark anymore

- you’re just so damn beautiful, and he truly cant understand how of all the people left in the world, you gave your heart, and your cuddles, to him

- but Daryl couldnt be more grateful that you had

- his personal favourite cuddling positions involve him holding you, usually. Daryl likes to know you’re safe, and considering he would quite literally take a bullet or a bite or both for you, he knows you’re safest whenever you’re shielded in his arms

- but sometimes, he just needs you to hold him. on days like that, he cant always put it into words. you’ve been helping him verbalise his feelings, but sometimes he still struggles, and that’s often how you can tell when he needs you, so you dont wait for him to try and get the words out again. you just take him over to the nearest couch or bed to cuddle, or if there’s neither of those available you’ll let him drop his head to your shoulder and you’ll hold him while he falls into you

- you’ve really made up for all Daryl’s touch starved years, and be cant believe he survived so long without knowing how perfect your cuddles felt

[minhosimthings]

Im probably really late to this, but I just saw the post of that fucking strawberry ass anon (pardon my language) saying you're writing is trash or whatever the hell they said. I fully believe now that whoever the fuck strawberry anon is (pardon my language) is 110% Riddhi or whatever their name is, I dont interact with nsfw blog so I have no clue how they write, but I'll be damn if I ever think that their writing is better than yours. I don't even know why, but I'm so fucking aggravated by this. Maybe it's because it's 2am here and I'm hangry but fucking hell, this bitch didn't just say they write better than you and then proceeds to poke fun at your nightmares??????? ARE YOU SANE YOU CRAZY ASS? WHO THE FUCK EVEN DOES THAT?? 11-12yrs old? Idfk but even their real age doesn't fit them. They're acting like an 8 year old throwing a fucking temper tantrum because they didn't get what they wanted. Actually 8 yrs old is even too fucking old for them, they're acting like a 3 yr old. And how insensitive can you be to start invalidating someone? You already caused so much fucking trouble and you still continue to do so for what? What joy do you get out of this? You're only damaging yourself in the process of this all. You aren't even gonna get anyone back or on your side if you act like a fucking toddler throwing a tantrum because what? You cant post smut anymore? You cant interact with nsfw blogs because they now know of your real age? You should honestly be thanking these people for CARING ENOUGH about you and your well being to tell you to stop doing this because it's fucking wrong. Grow up. Not everything in life will go your way.

-🌙

....baby go eat something I think you're hangry

The last part is real though. Like we actually do want to protect you, not try to bring you down or anything and honestly if I hadn't ever said it before, I'm saying it now, but making fun of my nightmares was really infuriating. I don't give a single fuck who is behind that strawberry anon but making fun of something I've tried to get over for so many years is just trash behaviour if you make fun of something which is genuinely terrifying something that you have never experienced before idc what age the strawberry anon is I will be calling them multiple names

[ravenkinnie]

tw stalking

I hope this isn’t a touchy subject for you but do you think Jinx is a stalker? A friend of mine said she couldn’t get into arcane because Jinx‘ stalking was off-putting to her. I didn’t say anything to that because my friend sadly has been a victim of a stalker and I wouldn’t want to invalidate her. But still calling Jinx is a stalker doesn’t seem right to me? She is a kidnapper, a killer, a thief and a terrorist yeah but a stalker?

I really value your opinion on Jinx as a character so I was wondering what you thought about this.

Have a nice day!

she's like a lil bit of a stalker, like I don't think she does it a lot because she just doesn't care about people that much except vi and silco and like a) she doesn't have to stalk silco, he's always there anyway b) she did stalk vi a lil on the bridge like she did do the creepy telescope thing. but like I don't think she's Joe from you level stalker she's too reactive to be patient like that. but i dont think stalking is too out of pocket to her, its like a minor atrocity compared to everything else she does. her breaking into caitlyns house to wait her out in the shower only to kidnap her was creepy bitch behaviour tho like she was crazy for that, how long was she even standing there

[violentviolette]

i suspect i may have BPD but i'm only 18, abt to turn 19 in a couple months. i'm still figuring out everything from my childhood bc i can barely bring myself to acknowledge the fact that my childhood was bad and abusive bc i was never "properly" hit or beaten but with my research, reflection, reading old diaries from throughout my life, n talking to ppl with BPD, im seriously starting to think i may have it. but another part of me is like "lol ur just a crazy attention seeking whore, ur fine, it's just all in ur head" and it's why i can't bring myself to go see a psychiatrist. do u have any pointers or advice?

ignore that second voice. really and truly because they're a bitch who doesnt know shit. that second voice is ur internal abuser, it exists solely to keep u in line and make sure u continue to be abused even when ur abuser is not there. kill them. genuinely.

it's very much like the theory of "the cop in ur head" when we've been abused we internalize that mistreatment and subconsciously begin abusing ourselves in the absence of our abuser because we begin to believe the abuse. we internalize those negative messages about ourselves, that we're just crazy, that we just want attention, that our needs and feelings are useless and pointless and stupid and all of our motives and actions are negative because we're bad people who deserve to be hurt. none of that is ever true

a good tip is to ask urself, who benefits from this mindset? who benefits from u not believe that what happened to u was harmful? who benefits from u never seeking help? who benefits from u believing these negative things about urself? because most of the time the answer is "the person hurting u"

every single person who has undergone trauma has felt the way u feel right now. every single one of us has felt that we werent "really" abused because of xyz thing to the point that that is genuinely a symptom of ptsd. denying and downplaying what happened to us in order to not acknowledge it is very much a literal stated symptom of ptsd

ive known people who *were* physically beaten say the same thing, "oh but i never broke a bone" "oh but they never used a weapon" "oh but it was only a slap that doesnt count" i used to believe that my parents never hit me because they "only" used an open hand when they struck me and for it to "count" it would have had to have been a closed fist punch. we make up these arbitrary lines in order to invalidate ourselves because acknowledging the truth of what happened to us is scary and difficult and goes against our literal lifetimes worth of abusive conditioning

but there is never ever some arbitrary line or threshold u have to meet for ur pain to be valid. u were hurt and mistreated and thats enough, it will always be enough and ur pain and ur anger and ur feelings matter and u deserve to heal from them. u dont ever need something to be "bad enough" for u to have permission to heal from it

[allamericansbitch]

Glad to hear you're doing better! Sorry about your family members.

On the Olivia Wilde stuff I guess I think differently there is video's and stuff from set of her and Florence getting along and hugging, celebrating the end of filming. I think Florence's main issue (and I say this based on her own words in that one interview she gave) seems to be the big focus people are putting in HS and the sex scenes with him when clearly the movie is so much more and she seemed generally positive about the movie itself.

The Shia stuff is honestly bad. I guess we will never know the full situation. Idk why she lied about firing him. From what I understand him and Florence were not getting along with his "process" and we know he is a borderline a method actor and is known to be "difficult" to work with.

I don't think the video is as bad of a look as people claim, she's basically saying she's trying to see both sides and wanting him to come back (weren't they literally just about to start production too?). Seems like she just didn't want to restart more than anything, a bit too faced trying to get the "emotional" actor to work with you kind of stuff. Again she's not being a "bitch", she's doing her job.

Like fuck working with abusers like Shia but the other claims seem so pushed for misogyny. The unconfirmed rumours about the pay gap, saying that Florence actually secretly directed the film, that Olivia stopped caring about the movie just to hook up with Harry, that Harry got preferential treatment because Olivia Wilde was (I'm not joking here) grooming him as a 28 year old man, etc. Those are just rumours started and pushed by Harry Styles fans that they have been pushing since they first got papped together, they've been absolutely vicious to this woman, so I'm very hesitant to believe anything (they've even started saying she speaks like Amber Heard so she's clearly an abuser and a psychopath so you know the misogyny train has already left the station).

There's not even discussion of how Harry Styles has also kept quiet in promoting this film like Florence Pugh. Honestly is probably for the best given what he said in promotion for 'My Policeman'.

-

The press tour will also be non existent Harry Styles will be touring for the next 20 years I guess since he keeps adding dates to his tour and Florence Pugh is currently filming Dune part 2. So I guess that leaves Olivia Wilde by herself for promo.

The extra drama that there's not even much money to release this movie because WB Discovery is a mess right now. The whole OW/JS separation also bleeding into the drama of this movie with him serving her the custody papers mid convention, it's been so wild to see. I'm still probably going to watch the movie because I really enjoyed OW's Booksmart she's a really good director.

i dont think florence ever really liked olivia, she probably was playing nice and hugging her in that footage to not make the situation worse than it already was. like i've worked with people i dont like, but you put everything aside in order to just be mature and once you dont have to see them you can let your feelings be known. there was no longer a movie to make so she stopped hiding her feelings.

and the video is definitely bad. you can't 'play both sides' with an abuser who has a reputation of making women uncomfortable. by even remotely supporting him you invalidate and not support the victim. it sucks that harry fans are acting liek they 'always knew' she was bad and they are making all of this centered around harry and they dont actually care about any of the people it actually affected. they're only pretending to care so they can get harry away from her.

[neverending--ending]

Someone ate too much and feels too sad, so now he yaps pessimistically about love.

Love seems like a lie. A distraction, delusion, hallucination, redirection from the truth that life consists of suffering and we all exist to use and get used; life is the thesis of the ever deeper honesty. Perhaps my opinion is invalid for I have never "loved" nor been "loved". All of my "crushes" lasted less than one week and sprung up after a stranger asked if I was okay during my lowest in depressive episodes, and I would never think of them that way once I went back to baseline depression.

I've never seen proper love either. While I do believe my father loves my mother, his language is through gift giving. And I do not believe my mother loves my father, but tolerates him. They are not "married because they love each other" but "not divorced because they tolerate each other." My mother "loves" him when he does nice things, and bitches about him every time he passes by, wishing he was gone, when he is not.

I also lack a good first impression. My mother told me to never date, for pregnancy equaled homelessness. Then, she told me to never marry, for marriage is a lie. Then, she told me to never date masculine women. Then, she gave me permission to date whatever girl I want, but any aspect of the relationship must be kept to myself and any trouble I have with the relationship must be kept to myself, for she did not care nor want to hear it. Thus, I learned that it would be problematic to develop feelings. I would be treated as a nuisance. If she was abusive, or broke up with me, I would have a plethora of feelings to force down for those would render me a nuisance.

And while I never actively thought this until now, I subconsciously knew this, and it has manifested through aroacity. [Made up term for aroace] I've concluded its aromanticism because it is egosyntonic; it doesn't bother me. Now, I dont think all aspec people have some lore or reasoning for their aroacity, I dont think many do. And if they do, its still valid. If anything, I'm only bothered when I feel excluded from the group for not having a relationship, or I'm judged for never having feelings. Though that may be because I don't plan on living long. Part of me wonders if I'd be upset if I could see myself living until 70. But I can live a good 20-25 more years, pernamently alone, before I have my first and last kiss with a GF00. I am unsure if i am passive or active, or on that borderline wherein a bit more access would make me active. But also, I'm terribly lazy, and I'll probably keep delaying it until I die of some common health condition.

This is also because I have seen "real" love, and it honestly makes people annoying. The blushing, the obsession, the stupidity one degrades to when suffering the illness of "love". Why would I be in love when I have seen love make a friend annoying? Irrational? Prone to accepting abuse? Willing to die for someone they just met, and likely wont remain with, especially if I think back to high-school. Love makes people weak. I don't hate lovers, I just hate what love can do to people. The definition of love also seems quite weak. By the most common explanations, I'm in love with many, so many that I know it's none of them.

Besides, I'm already in "love" with my ed, based on the way normal people treat their crushes. Everyone says personifying it is annoying, but it's quite comforting. I'll never make any posts treating my ed as a person though. This is just an imaginary lover. That I'd be stupid for. That I'd die for. That I'll take abuse from. That I'll be irrational for. And frankly, it's all I need.

[bioodorange]

||How I See The Pastas||

© @frozensriracha, for some help with visuals!!

This was originally supposed to be how they looked but I decided to go for mental aspect and explain why as well PLEASE like, reblog and share your thoughts on this in the comments or inbox

Below the desciptions are images i’ve compiled and some art (if you know the creator please tell me so i can credit them) for a visual

dont forget to like reblog and share your thoughts with me, I spent a few days on this so i’d appreciate this

Jeff the Killer

So lets start with the obvious- jeffs pasty white toothpaste lookin skin

But realistically he wouldn’t be completely covered in scars

It would be blotchy, with pink fleshy patches among the burns

He most likely has contracture scars, third degree burns that turn the skin a pale white and tighten the skin

This explains his gaunt features and skin color

Now we have to take into account the vodka that was splashed on him, he’d probably have worse burns there with exposed flesh and damaged nerves

This would result in gnarly exposed skin, a damaged scalp and maybe damage to his teeth and eyes

Realistically, Jeff wouldnt have burned off his eyelids that alone would have resulted in blindness and death

Than his smile, his signatuure mark would probably be more of a gangly bloody scar mess

Pastas heal faster and aren’t really human, he’d have to recut his smile pretty frequently making it pretty jacket up because ltes be honest hes far from clean

ANd than his hait being chard black is very unlikely because as nasty as he is he s h o w e r s

not very frequnetly given his living situation and untreated burns but people can figure out how to wash hait and not much else

also i think its funny he’d shower with a plastic bag on his face to avoid getting soap in his nasty infected scars-

His hair would probably be dry and cut unevenly, more of a dark brown color with blonde undertones

Not to mention his burned scalp, hair probably wouldn’t grow there so he’d have a cool unintentional side shave

Jeff would also be a tall individual, he cant really eat, snacking on things from his victims homes giving him a more skeletal build

His personality and mindest is about as pretty as his face- but he most likely has a very screwed up headspace

Lacking in self care, maturity and sanity its fair to say he’d be a brash and violent person

Fun Fact: While researching this I learned that some versions of the joker had facial scars in the shape of a smile

Ticci Toby

So tobys age, unlike a lot of pastas, is pretty well agreed on, 19

So unlike when he was first a proxy toby most likely has stronger facial features and facial hair

Because shaving and hygiene isn’t first priority for pastas (gross-)

He stands around 5′7 and has grayish skin

Toby i feel is picky about foods, not only is it hard for him to eat its hard for him to keep food down

He’s malnourished explaining his thin figure and grayish skin

His hait is dark brown and a curlish mess, unkempt but short so it doesn’t get in his way

I’ve always seen him with a small gap in his teeth, because I can

And since toby can’t feel shit I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to eat rocks simply because he fuckin could

So some chipped teeth that are a bit uneven

Along with his CIPA and not eating enough Toby would bruise easily and have lots of scars, from things like cutting his finger on accident or getting mauled by a racoon

I wouldn’t be surpised if some of his joints were a bit screwed up, because whenever theyd beak or fracture he wouldn’t notice, this would probably happen a lot causing them to not heal correctly

One of tobys habits is nailbiting but he cant te;; when too far is too far

His fingers may be abit odd looking, knobby and discolored nails because of how exetreme his habit is

Would most likely have bandages around his fingers frequently to prevent the habit

So theres a lot of debate about tobys cheek was it the CIPA or the car accident, I beileve the accident because his other cheek is completely fine, theres damage from the OUTSIDE to inside and considering his sister died in the accident its unlikely he survived unscathed

Fun Fact: only a small handful of people have ever been diagnosed with CIPA, less than 500 (documented) cases around the world

Bloody Painter

So Helen is often seen as quiet emo painter boy 

but uh no <3

Personaly i beileve he suffers from narcisistic personality disorder, exetreme importance and that he is always victorious and gets what he wants

This sporuts from the constant heavy invalidation from classmates, toxic friends and neglect from his parents

He doesn’t hang out with people because he doesn’’t lie them its because they never let him in the past and he beileves he’s better than them

But this also links to deep rooted insecurity and social anxiety/being inept completely

Him being nice is basically so you like him, he wants validation amd admiration not love

Unlike the other pastas he’d be a more clean well kept one a helthy figure and some tattoos bevause he can

I beileve he lives in socity, finding hus victims in girls and men alike who fall for his charm

he uses hhis skill and ordinary appearance to blend in on the streets

From his behavior helen most likely keeps his hair a bit shorter and clean

He always looks his best

Has chapped, and picked at lips because of his anxieties

Aswell as his breakdowns- his identity is completely in his head, he is very unsure of who he is and takes the delusions in his mind as reality

Unrelated but paino fingers-

And finally in order for his art to be as perfect and amazing as him, he has to be apart of it

Thus using his own blood in his pieces and the body parts of those he admires

Covers his scars with clean bandgaes

But his paintings turn brown and dry out, he’s always in need of a new medium

Is most likely anemic from all the blood he looses and has a paler skintone

Clockwork

ahh yes finally someone who knows what self care is-

helen, i love you buddy but you need to stop 

But anyway natalie has a stronger, athletic build

She often chases her victims and gets in altercations, relying on strength most  of the time

on that same note, this would defintelty cause many scars on natalie

Wether it was a bite mark or scars from a kitchen knife, shes got lots of scars

A few even on her face

Now, for the clock in her eye that thing is like holding her skull together at this point, realistically

She is probably delicate and cares for it becaise 1) it hurts 2) if it gets screwed up that could cause a lot of problems

natalie would be a smart person, I wouldn’t be surprused if she had a few other stray stitches or bandgaes wrapped around a fresh wound

For more visual-ish things uh m u l l e t (credit: @cum-looking-sock-mf in a chat like 4 months ago)

She has one, fight me on it

but also thick and curlish hair so I also riase you

Undershave

just y e s

I can also see her getting tattoos over certain scars on her arm, just to make them look not so ugly

I feel like clockwork wishes things worked out better

Wishes for another chance but knows she’ll never get one

Thus her taking goof care of herself

Natalie throws herseld into her “work”, keeping her body in shape and killing people

Its a way to avoid her life and that it is- a huge, sad mess

Shes an outgoing impulsive individual, confident but questions her actions

She’s also unstable- protective and loyal but explosive and strong 

Jane the Killer

Jane is the final one, im sorry I couldn’t do more theres a photo limit and I wanna bash my head into the wall

Now a main different between her and jeff is she had surgery and lie treatment

Janes skin is still greatly scarred but it is greatly healed

She takes care of it and had skin grafts

Her face is disfigured, a scarred smile and burns around

But unlike Jeff she doesn’t recarve the cut so its a cleaner line and a lot healthier

Janes hair took a rather long time to grow back, but it did! 

She has a slightly long pixie cut a bit choppy but she doesn’t mind

Her wife definetely cuts it for her and you can fight me over that

I can see Jane having a lot of facial trauma, scars around her nose and cheeks

She was young when she started killing and went for the over the person, pin them down kill which didn’t work out

She switched to a silenced pistol after awhile, you know like a smart person

Janes arms and legs are in alright condition where most of the burn trauma is on her back

She has a leaner but healthy figure but like boobs-

Like clockwork and Helen she takes care of herself

She doesn’t kill as frequently, going after a few of jeffs victims before him and is of course, actively hunting him down

Her eyes are a pale green and she wears makeip to fill in her eyebrows because those bitches take a long time to grow back

fun fact: jeff has no eyebrows, fight me

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Jesus the terfs really are in their own little world arent they?

I just spent like 5 minutes scrolling through a couple terf blogs to confirm they were terfs. And they just genuinely truly believe they're doing good. So fucking delusional.

There was this one post bitching about how the pandemic was "making so many women think they're nonbinary cuz they stopped performing femininity are more comfortable so they think they're not women."

And like....that one stung a bit. Like as a nonbinary who came out..during the pandemic...and like...im not doubting my identity here. Thats not happening.

But if these nonbinaries theyre talking about are anything like me

Then they probably had already considered that they may be nonbinary BEFORE the pandemic but didn't have time to really stop and explore that before

Like I first thought I might be agender like 4 years ago. Just before I came out as bi. Thats when I first learned what agender even was. And it felt right. But I was still friends with a homophobe. So I wasn't really comfortable exploring too much. Especially since there were so many terfs ending up on my tumblr dash back then. I just didn't feel safe exploring that at that time.

But ive had an entire year to do nothing but explore my identity. I'm feeling more comfortable with myself than I have in years. I'm more comfortable in my body than I have been in years. And I haven't changed a damn thing about it. All I needed was accepting that im nonbinary. (Not that there's anything wrong with needing to change your body to make it fit you better. I just dont personally need that.)

It just pisses me off that people want to try so hard to invalidate that. Like why do you fucking care? Like they go after men for trying to police women's bodies but do the exact same thing to trans and nonbinary people? How delusional do you have to be to not see the irony there?

And theyre...weirdly obsessed with other peoples kinks and sex lives. And all the kinks they listed are ones that squick me the fuck out. But here's the thing...I just dont...interact with people who post those things???? Or if I like the person I just...block the tag???? Like its none of my fucking business? Its not yours either?

[1990jeevas]

Wanna infodunp bout sumthin? Plz do (respind whenever you wanna dont even worrg bout time here)

this has been sitting in my ask box for like a week now and im so sorry about that but also the last time i posted an info dump (which, for me, means bitching my ever loving heart out about the subject, because i genuinely find it incredibly difficult to speak fondly of things i enjoy without just going "yeah i think its neat!" essentially and then forgetting all the reasons why i like it) somebody came into my replies to break the dni i made in that post, invalidate my trauma and then say i was gaslighting them for stating my own opinion so um. yeah ive been a bit hesitant to say the least, considering hot takes are basically how i show my love for things :)

but, i have now decided to just post my least inflammatory take on one of my hyperfixations in response to this and then just. leave bc i dont wanna get into drama over my dumb little opinions again.

anyways, quick dni: dont even fucking touch this post if you're going to be aggressive with me, you don't use tone tags when making corrections or criticisms or you wanna just trash my opinion. ultimately people can do whatever they want, im just expressing my own annoyances as someone who has been in the IT fandom for awhile and has some complaints as a result (as im sure most other fans do lol)

moving on...rant time:

stan uris and richie tozier are canonically best friends in IT and the erasure of their friendship in favor of appealing to reddie fans is fucking gross and weird, especially bc stan is then chalked up to just some mean jewish kid who likes birds and is annoyed by richie 25/8 instead of having an actual fucking personality in every reddie fic just bc fans want so badly to make reddie best friends to lovers and its just?? yall can make reddie best friends to lovers WITHOUT erasing stan's canonical personality. yall can make them best friends to lovers while still acknowledging that stan and richie are canonically best friends and that stan canonically was an incredibly important person to richie.

this also goes for bill and eddie btw!! its just significantly worse with stan which reads Very Wrong when you take into consideration that fic writers always write bill denbrough as a sweet little white boy who everyone's at least a little bit in love with but then write stan as this rude jewish boy who's always mean and critical of richie for just being himself (and a lot of those "annoying" traits i see people make stan give richie shit about are adhd traits, which also rubs me wrong?? like why are so many NT fic writers so comfortable with calling my ND traits annoying) which isnt even canon?? like. canonically they poke fun at each other, they call each other names and say stupid shit but not to the extent of actually hurting each other because they are best friends and they know each other to the point where they know what boundaries the other has, they arent just making passive aggressive comments at the other and then going "it's a joke bro!" when/if the other gets upset.

also?? the trend of making "fix it" fics for IT chapter 2 where eddie is revived/doesn't die but stan does and is then only brought up in passing? not fucking cute. dont call it a "fix it fic" if the only "fix it" is you reviving a character for your fucking ship, especially when the other dead character is the BEST FRIEND of 1/2 of the ship? like. what. do yall just think richie getting married would somehow fix the fact that he lost the person that he was closest to? because, news flash, the person he was closest to was not eddie. they were very close friends, richie fucking loved the dude /p and /r, but stan was canonically his best friend and was canonically the person richie was closest to like?? what is not clicking omgggg

stanley uris is an incredibly fucking important character in IT and he is especially fucking important to richie goddamn tozier. you dont just get to ignore richie's best friend and write him into this mean jewish man box because his actual personality doesnt serve your ship like for the love of fucking god stan does not need to be there to create angst for your fics, he doesnt need to be there to make your hurt/comfort piece where you make stan borderline abelist just so richie can run and cry into eddie's scrawny little arms like im begging you to just write something where the hurt/comfort doesnt come from stan being a douchebag because canonically he was not one. he was a good fucking friend, he fucking loved richie and they got each others weird asses like nobody else did.

like. idk. ultimately yall can do what you want with ur fics i guess but also it's just fucking weird if you ask me?? and maybe that's just because im a dumbass richie kinnie who absolutely adores stan, but as somebody who loves reddie and reads reddie fics regularly, it is so goddamn annoying to only see my other favorite character written in to be mean, create angst or just be fucking dead time and time again when eddie is revived and then not even written accurately half the time bc he's not a fucking fragile dude who needs help all the time either, he's a shouty little cunt who know's he can be fucking dangerous if he wants to be and he doesn't hesitate to dish out some nasty ass comments if given the chance. just please for the love of god stop writing these characters ooc its killing me fr-

(btw i know most of this shit is just done by accident and its mostly done by movie stans who havent read the book, it's just still annoying to me, ya know? and this whole post is /nm, i just talk like this bc it's what comes naturally to me!! this is how i complain about literally everything, regardless of how big the issue is so dont take this too seriously pls)

[ibelonginthepast]

honey first of all, you are right! no one has the right to be biphobic! him being biphobic is bad! BUT he is a humannn who will make mistakesss like we all dooooo and learn from themmmm! internalised homophobia literally means being homo/bipobic. it doesn't give him the right, but its the reason. not an excuse! but an explanation.

you are right about the fact that he never apologized either! but now here's the thing.

1. CC is bad at handling this shit. there are not enough malec scenes cause cc definitely has a problem with managing scene times and pushing queer characters to the background and i hate her for that. so criticize her for that for overlooking this. if u feel she did.

2. at the same time i believe sometimes as authors it's not always their job to label problematic behaviors with their tags.. the narrator doesn't go like *deep voice* "and alas he is being biphobic" or "shameful! he is slutshaming",, they instead show that behavior and leave it to reader to read it and feel uncomfortable and realize what alec is doing is wrong. she didn't glorify. we all knew alec was letting his insecurities get better of him, and in the scene where he says all this when they are sitting on the table at the wedding or whatever, everyone at the table is mad and upset at alec's moodiness and it mentions that magnus is hurt and that's a clear indication as to what he did was wrong.

3. so to fill gaps this we headcanon! we think about his future behaviors and his will to get better and we tell ourselves that he did better. he apologized. and did everything in his power to make sure that the future shadowhunters know what it is and don't commit the exact same mistakes he made!

4. alec isn't someone who was biphobic KNOWING he was being biphobic. it's not like he stabbed magnus and because stabbing is so obvious he should go and say "magnus i am sorry for stabbing you.". it's biphobia, that bitch doesn't know that's a word! he learned that he could like men few months ago! so he can't go to magnus and be like "i am sorry for being biphobic",, but he gonna be like "maggie babes am sorry for being a fucking dick!" which he did. trust me he hates himself so much more than any of us can for doing this to the one love of his fucking life!

secondly, i am sorry u felt attacked by my post (this sounds sarcastic, it's genuine) but i wasn't attacking u. that was a generic statement against the white peeps from USA or UK and comparatively liberal countries where atleast they discuss queerness.. cause uk it's hush shush here. but situations differ according to subjects yes?

i know where u come from. i was mad at alec too! i wanted to rip that motherfucker's face off! u r brown and queer, but our experiences still can be different. i am way too emotional sometimes and i believe in forgiveness too much sometimes. but then my personal past as a brown queer plays into this personally and differently than you, so i believe in this ship. u can choose not to and that's okay.. but u dont have to actively hate on it just because u cannot relate? that's just lack of empathy

i can understand that maybe some people no matter what race for example have been in a situation similar to magnus's and dont feel their ex partner deserves forgiveness WHICH IS VERY VALID because it's totally their decision,, among a lot of other kinds of perspectives and experiences which may come into play and may make people not like the handling of the situation

but my experiences are equally valid? this doesn't have to a be political stance and this isn't a situation that needs to be justified morally right or wrong. this is just an example of how it MAY play out in real life human interactions. this is just a story, a narrative in which they have instead embraced forgiveness, and the reason and complexity behind alec's behavior is given. we all can coexist while having having different personal choices. u dont have to attack the ship or me or question my ethical beliefs on that. i don't think anyone has the right to attack me or anyone who gets will to live from book malec because it has taught them things and made them feel seen. u dont like book malec, no one is forcing u to love it. u don't hate on it. and u dont invalidate people. that's basic decency.

[bugthegremlin]

this may be goodbye; so. here is what i have to say.

where do i start? this is tough. i have so much i still need to do, i never even finished that song i was working on! oh well i guess. but to get on with it; my life is in shambles. i hate the world. i hate my family. i hate myself. i hate everything. nothing makes my happy anymore. yesterday i got 49 messages in my dm's with kind words and sweet nothing, and most were just simple things. but a few days ago they would have made me burst out into tears, thank them all, and never even think of death again. but now they just feel like.....nothing? they feel like empty promises you made with an old friend. they feel like watching someone you love turn into a complete monster. they feel like finishing a good movie, being happy about how good it was, but sad that it's over. they feel like making a suicide pact with someone you love, but they ditch on you last second. i felt nothing reading the things sent to me. nothing. just emptiness.

my life could not be worse. to me at least. i mean, at least i have some great friends, lets use undercover names for them, Ro , Mark , Issy. wrong. a few months ago my friend Mark came out as trans (FTM) and we were all very supportive and loved (still love) his to death! then out of nowhere, about 2 months ago, Ro became very transphobic for no reason, saying thing to Mark like, "at least im not a wanna be boy." and then leaks Mark, and another friend of ours, we can call her Cassidy, address. but lets back track a few months shall we? this bitchy, blond, bimbo (Issy) came in to our friendship for no reason and wrecked it. i would goo to hang out with Mark and he wanted to hang with Issy. i went to hang out with Ro but he wanted to hang with Issy. they replaced me. i had been replaced. now, we kicked Ro from the friendship, and it was just me, Mark, and Issy. but still barely me.

my parents are the worst, i told my mom everything. all my insecure-ness, my self harm, my thoughts of suicide. she sat me down, cried her little crocodile tears, and said something along the lines of, 'if you ever thought of suicide, you would be in a psych ward somewhere!' and i laughed it off, but i am terrified of psych wards. i told her i was insecure about my face, and she brushed it off with a, "you're beautiful!" then i told her about my stomach, she said "there ain't nothing there!" feeding my insecurities about my possible anorexia. then she told me 'even though you're insecure, you're not aloud to wear baggy shirts when you want to.' and she wonders why i hate her? both of my parents say 'the n-word'. they are both white.

there is this one boy at school, who is invalidating my gender, sexualizing me, calling me horrible things, and saying just gross things. he tells me to suck his dick. he says that he has fantasized about me in the shower. he got a boner over me. he calls me a whore, a slut, a dumb bitch. and it is just exhausting trying to keep him in line. and i was gone from school for 2 days. 2 days! and he started talking with other students behind my back about how i am not really enby and this is just a fad, and it will go away. and he is guilty and he knows it. and he may be guilty, but he is not sorry. just upset because he was caught.

i have been molested i would say anywhere from 15-20 times in my life. i would not like to talk about by who, because it makes me have mental breakdowns regularly.

so, IF this is goodbye. i want you to move on. i want you to have a better life with out me. be happier. get good grades. get a new girlfriend Angel! get some better friends. ones who care about you. like i do. i love you all so much and it hurts me that i might do this, but it is not official. there is still a chance.

~ c

I wish I could do anything more to bring solice or comfort. I wish I could help. You're amazing. You're so valid and so kind. It hurts to hear that you have to go through so much bullshit, you don't deserve it. You deserve people in your life who care for you. I know I can't say anything to make you feel any better but I want to tell you this. You'll be missed. You'll be remembered. Though I really hope you stay, if you dont, I hope you find a way to somewhere where you get to be happier than you were here. You deserve that.

You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry. I wish I could bring you some kind of comfort, I wish we'd gotten closer. If you wanna just talk, about anything, regular things, I'll always be happy.

And if this does end up goodbye, I love you. Goodbye. I'll miss you <3

I wish it wasnt like this.

[tatertotthethot]

I agree on the topic about fanfics and how some people disregard authors and how its not acceptable cause everyone is allowed to do what they want as long as they don’t hurt anyone, however I really think its not for everyone and the reason why some people make fun of it is not on the fanfics themselves but rather on the so called ,, not like other girls” or ,,quirky type” ,ofcourse authors are not responsible for that but lets say wattpad is one of the sources that contributed to building this type of character that everyone is cringing at right now. Fanfics are okay as long as you remember for what they stand for and some girls sometimes detach themselves from reality, trying to find that bad boy who will be only good for them, when crying for not being treated right. Lets even take the same After, most people dont have the problem with fanfiction, but rather with it being turned into a movie, and frankly i think the same. We see more and more romanticization towards toxic love :fifty shades, 365 , after... where guy gets away with everything by being hot and girls life simply cannot revolve without the said guy in it and normalizing it like its a normal thing. Concluding i’d like to say that its only my personal opinion and others may disagree and thats completely fine 🤷‍♀️

Yeah I’ve also ranted about the most toxic ones getting glorified the most and I also get what you mean on the stereotypical “not like other girls” cliche being popularized and used as a way to vigorously fantasize this ideology of “true love” that are basically just glorified versions of trauma bonding. I not only feel that it misrepresents the fanfic community but it also completely shits on the bad boy trope— which is one of my favorite tropes. I ain’t downing nobodies work but I hope the ones that write the stereotypical TOXIC bad boy x good girl ships eventually realize that they’re constructing an ideology that comes with an innocent, gullible person chasing an “emotional high” that follows after being abused by an ✨attractive✨ fuckboy. They also don’t realize how unrealistic and incompatible a happy ending truly is in that situation, when a guy rather throw a grenade at you and watch you explode than admitting that they have a soft spot for you. It doesn’t really correlate with the thought process that goes behind a person that’s just “emotionally unavailable”. I mean, it’d be different if they actually gave the “bad boy” more dimensional characteristics and understandable flaws where they just more-so bluntly state that they just want sex and actually mean it, by pushing the sentimental shit away to maintain a tough exterior as a form of denial/rejection prevention, rather than just making them impulsively torment their love interests just to prove.. essentially.. nothing... other than the fact that their an unstable piece of shit lmao. Because with the first one, it still leaves a realistic window open for them to change and actually form a healthy relationship. Whereas the latter shouldn’t even be promoted as a love story after the clear signs of toxicity and abuse become the main turning point to this plotted out “romance”. I rather read about a fuckboy with a cold heart having no choice but to let his guard down because he can’t deny his feelings towards the love interest, over a story about an egotistical shit head with rich-kid issues setting out to sabotage and sexually violate an innocent girl but accidentally falling in love in the process, only to shit on them even more. Like.. it still doesn’t make a crumb of sense why he even did that if he had a sliver of genuine respect towards her no matter the size of his ego. Man’s would have to be a saciopath at that point. And (no offense to anybody who relates to this, as it’s not me invalidating anyone’s struggle just stating the misrepresentation) the fact that it’s this sheltered and gullible good girl who’s most iterated background trauma is their parents being divorced that goes from someone who is self-aware and optimistic to the “yes I know he’s no good for me but I’m built different so therefore I’ll let him hurt me and ruin my confidence in the name of love cuz I’m the only one that gets him” type of bitch is pick me energy and again, shouldn’t be glorified. “After” is nothing but a tale of that with hella trauma bonding that was created by intitial deception— especially in the original Wattpad book. Like, Holy fuck. It didn’t deserve the hype and damn sure shouldn’t have been perceived as a true love story. I remember commenting on a chapter saying that and I got cussed out by hundreds of directioners for it lmao. So yeah I agree with you and understand the stigma, and at the same time I can’t really say it’s completely wrong on peoples part outside of the community when they’re just going off of what they’re seeing being presented the most, but it really ain’t fair when they just trash us up and down despite us repeatedly saying that the judgement is being based off of a very bad example that a lot of us don’t even wanna claim. Its also shitty how our work is discredited and stigmatized by this stereotype and I genuinely fear that only the problematic(and ironically most popularized) fics will keep getting promoted the most and eventually silence the actual talent and beauty that is created within the realm of fanfiction.

[hollyhomburg]

I lost my mom earlier in the year and covid could've been something that contributed to it. I know how it feels to lose someone in this pandemic and I never once ever thought about invalidating someone else's feelings. We all are affected in some way. Why do people, antis ESPECIALLY think it's okay to police what BTS feels ? Why are antis watching the concert/videos of the concert in the first place? There's a lot of unpack here. 😐

I just want to say how sorry I am that you had to experience such a heartbreaking loss. it sucks, and there itsn’t a word to properly describe the pain of loosing a loved one. 

i feel like their whole argument was just like “people have it worse than jimin,” but it reminded me of how people often treat depressed people when they dont understand depression. it’s hard- especially with people who have depression to justify getting help because of the perceived suffering of others who seem to have it worse than you but are doing better. 

we can’t feel another person's pain the way they feel it- but we can feel our own and like- we as humans warm up to it. when you're a child a simple papercut can make you cry- we get accustomed to pain as we grow- and for many people- this pandemic might be the first trauma in their lives.

but trauma is constant, even though someone who had a life-altering event happen before- of course corona will still affect them- maybe they’ll be more used to it though like the kid with the papercut. pain is pain and we shouldn’t try to control or police how another person deals with this worldwide trauma. there is no better or the best way to deal with this. And to insist that they swallow down their emotions for the sake of appearances- that's ridiculous. loneliness is the same no matter who you are. 

oh and don’t even get me started on the anti’s, I didn’t even know exo was having a concert today until i saw stans LEAVING THE BROADCAST to bitch about what jimin said. like that's 🤡 behavior- the members of exo could be at my door shirtless and i still wouldn’t stop streaming the bts concert

[stuffisay]

ok here’s what I honestly think, bc I caved and made this blog out of being angry at how many bitchass exclusionists run rampant on this website.

the lgbtq community is supposed to be a place of acceptance, in my eyes, and I think so long as someone is not LEGITIMATELY cishet (I define this as heteroromantic, heterosexual, cis person. nothing more nothing less, literally what it says on the tin) they have every fuckin right to be here bc theyre minority too. it’s not up to y’all assholes to decide who gets to be here, not your fucking call to make.

and yeah, some terms (i.e. pansexuality) have had some really bad starts and came from bad places, and that’s important to understand. We shouldn’t just have our heads in the sand- but it doesn’t mean we can’t work to make these labels more positive and derived from their original meaning. It doesn’t mean folks get to be absolute bitches to folks who are pan and repeatedly invalidate who they are, esp bc so many don’t know the history (and after learning, if they still want to ID as pan and want to, like me, work to change the negative connotations behind it, you need to shut up and sit down. You don’t get to decide how other ppl ID)!!! and I don’t think pan ppl can just go attacking bi people and calling them transphobic and whatever other bullshit y’all come up with bc that is not even close to the truth!!! I think pan and bi people should unite together and fight biphobia/panphobia hand in hand, just like ace/aros and allos should fight ace/arophobia and homophobia/transphobia/etc hand in hand.

I do not support maps or ANY of that shit. If you are into children, fictional or real, you are a nasty piece of shit and you need to please do us all a favor and die in a hole. (This only applies to folks who aren’t actively undergoing/don’t want to undergo intensive therapy to correct their ways of thinking so they are no longer attracted to children. If you’re doing that- fine. Carry on.)

also I’m white, and 21. It is not the place of a white person to ever make any calls about POC ever, it is the place of a white person to shut up, sit down, and attempt to use your brain to listen and unlearn racism- because yes. White people are inherently racist. It’s carved into our brains from day one bc of our experiences and it is our ACTIVE RESPONSIBILITY to continue to work to unlearn racism and this does not just go away!

Also! It’s the responsibility of anyone 18+ to be aware/be cautious if someone is a minor! It takes you 0.2 seconds to look at someone’s blog and see if they have an age somewhere/indicator that they’re a minor. if they do, for the love of god respect their wishes if they seem even REMOTELY uncomfortable/say they’re uncomfortable/IT SAYS ON THEIR BLOG THEY DONT WANNA INTERACT WITH ADULTS. it is not that hard to get!

also terfs/truscum/transmed/whatever fuck off. don’t fucking touch this blog if you support trump or white nationalism or any of that shit. die instead. I’m willing to talk to people in an earnest and open conversation on here but if you get hostile and try to mock me, I’ll get hostile and start mocking you. This is your disclaimer now.

I think this is what I can think of off the top of my head. Umm.... there’s probably more, but... this is good, for now. I would apologize for the harsh wording but... I’m not sorry. Not here to be anyone’s friend, I’m here to call out assholes on their shit. So... 🤷