#like my fandom experience with this show is probably so different from those who grew up watching it

[bookishjules]

the fact that there are people on this webbed site who started watching miraculous when they were kids. like elementary aged. like the target demographic of the show. and are now legal adults here on tumblr dot com.. i just *brain short circuits*

[longtallglasses]

it’s very interesting to me amongst the different fandoms i’ve been a part of in regards to their attitudes toward nsfw fanworks bc with the marauders those teens are always wildin’ - smoking, drinking, sleeping together - if they’re not i would even say it would be out of character for them? wolfstar is messy and horny and so in love, even if in a lot of fics they won’t admit it to each other. in atyd everyone is shagging up a storm, the girls, the boys, it’s still juvenile of course the way they discuss it and go about it. very little communication, feelings are hurt, they don’t know what they’re doing all the time. and it makes sense, they’re teenagers!

i have never once heard of discussion around it being ‘wrong’ to write them this way. that it’s ‘objectifying’ and if you’re thinking about it you must be weird or unnecessarily sexualizing characters. sexualizing characters? they’re already sexualized wdym? they have a sexuality, everyone has a sexuality, whatever the author/artist wants to give them, whether that’s a sex crazed maniac or the most sex repulsed asexual, they Have a Sexuality! even before the exact moment they turn 18, they have a sexuality. it’s just another facet to explore character through, to understand them more fully, and also sometimes for the author to help understand themselves.

i’m sorry age doesn’t matter when it comes to fictional characters. it just doesn’t. they’re not real you can’t hurt them. if someone wants to write through trauma, something ‘wrong’ and ‘problematic’ let them use fictional people. it may seem gross and you don’t have to read it, but its existence does not mean promotion of harmful behavior. it can mean so many different things to that author but it doesn’t equate to that.

i say this bc i myself have written some horrid things. i’ve never posted them, was not in a place where i wanted to, i wrote it all in a period of my life where i was seriously hurting, and writing fucked up horrific things stopped me from hurting Myself. i’ve read some ‘problematic’ fics that made me feel better, hurt me in a good way, reading comments of people who related and appreciated what was being explored.

most people who write about fucked up shit, SA, or some form of trauma porn or whatever it is have probably gone through something similar in their life. the people who read it and seek it out are usually drawn to it for a reason but we don’t need to know why. there is also just curiosity. and being curious doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t mean you ‘like’ it. you may like the power dynamics at play, you may be intrigued by desires different than your own, you may… ANYTHING what you enjoy to read or write speaks to nothing regarding who you are in your day to day life. your morals, your beliefs, or what you want sexually or otherwise. i say this to a younger me, there’s nothing wrong with you!

with all that being said… there is also porn that is just porn. and that’s perfectly fine and good too. people have always written porn about whatever and whoever they want and they always will. if you don’t want it, scroll pass. you won’t be given a gold star for announcing you think it’s gross or wrong, you just look silly. i’m not saying that you must like it too, but attacking the moral character of those who do partake, shows an immaturity and lack of tack when it comes to these subjects. go out in the world and you will discover just how ‘abnormal’ and ‘depraved’ sexual desire can manifest itself as.

as someone who grew up a Very sexually confused person. not knowing i was queer or on the ace spectrum exploring sexuality through fiction was like my saving grace. and those books and those fics that made me feel seen, made me go huh! woah! ooooh my god that’s me! or made me go … wait why do i kinda like that? more often than not they were written by adults. bc they had made it through to the other side so to speak. and as An Adult now i find the traditional adolescent experience very intriguing as i did not have that growing up. the sexual experiences i’ve had now have shown me so starkly that that feeling which accompanies a new experience never really goes away. people are fumbling well into their 20s and 30s. reading the plight of a young person discovering who they are sexually i don’t think will ever not be relatable or make someone reflect. that includes the sweet and innocent as well as the ‘gross’/depraved horniness. it is not necessarily enjoyed on a basis of attraction to these characters, it is enjoyed on a basis of ‘i know this feeling’ or ‘i also do and have yearned for this kind of intimacy’. and if who you are isn’t represented in those stories, oh well damn, looks like i have to write it now. that’s how we have Are you there God, it’s me Margaret and the edge of 17 (the ‘98 and ‘16 iterations), all these stories written by Adults! that make us all sigh in relief and laugh and cry and aaahhh

fiction is fiction, idek what anti-ship means, let people be freaks in peace, fandom spaces are created to have fun in, let’s pls have Fun!!! explore and write and draw and fantasize whatever your heart desires bc there can be no right or wrong, it is just discovery.

if you feel kinship with characters and it feels natural to extend yourself to them, to take them and make them your own, amazing, gorgeous, beautiful. play dress up with them in all the ways you can, do whatever You Want!!

[howtosingit]

Tag Game: 911 Lone Star Fandom Edition

Tagged by @rmd-writes and this is probably the first tag game I've done in... *checks calendar* I can't count that high 🤷🏻‍♂️

When did you first start watching Lone Star? Who or what introduced you to the show?

I've been watching since the pilot premiered on Sunday, January 19, 2020 🙃 I actually was still watching OG 911 at that time with @emisfritish and we were trying to decide if we wanted to watch the upcoming spinoff or not, so we checked out the trailer. Saw that first little clip of Carlos Reyes and that moment of Tarlos getting down to business in 1x02 and I was suddenly way more interested in LS than I had ever been in OG (sorry not sorry). And though she never really joined the LS fandom, I do still get to experience @emisfritish watching LS episodes for the first time (even if it's sometimes months after they air) and it's one of my favorite things.

Which season is your favorite?

Season 3, for sure. Best viewing experience of any season, really strong storylines, so much more Carlos than the previous 2 seasons (combined), the full tarlos arc from exes to fiancés and all the really good growth for them in-between those two moments... I don't know that the show will ever reach those heights again, but I'm so glad I got to experience every moment of it in real time.

[Seasons best-to-worst, imho, are: 3, 4, 2, 1]

Who is your favorite character? (Bonus: If you answered TK or Carlos, who is your favorite besides them?)

LOL such a mystery, my favorite character is obviously Caleb. Love that dumbass. (Real answer: my top 3 characters are Carlos, Grace, and Judd.)

Top five episodes. Go!

Oh goodness, okay...

Push Bad Call Saving Grace Riddle of the Sphynx Donors In Sickness and In Health (sorry I know that's six but rafa is just so fucking good)

If you could pick any character to be given a "begins" episode, who would it be and what would that episode look like?

First I will say that I'm really happy that we don't do "Begins" episodes with LS because I remember wanting to skip so many of those when watching OG (never grew attached to any of the characters, maybe I'd like them better in LS but let's not risk it) and I think there are more organic ways to incorporate backstory into the narrative than to say "here's 45 minutes of backstory!"

ANYWAY For a very long time my answer was uncontestedly Carlos Reyes, and I would still love to get every single moment of his life from his birth until now, but also... I don't know, I think at this point in the show we've gotten so much of Carlos's history (through what is sometimes messy writing, sure, but we still got it) that it feels selfish to keep asking for more when a character like Paul still feels really undervalued on the show. So, maybe Paul? But, also Carlos because... I'm me 🤷🏻‍♂️

What is a scenario or storyline that you would like to see in season 5?

Honestly, I would like to see Carlos have to face the consequences of his actions in the s4 finale. I love him, I would die on every damn hill for him, and I fully tracked his rationale for why he did what he did, but it was still really messed up, and I would love to see him battling with those decisions and what they mean for him at the top of the season. I'm not against Carlos struggling and messing up sometimes (two of my favorite episodes are "Cry Wolf" and "In Sickness and In Health"), but it's a way more interesting narrative if we actually see him confronting his mistakes rather than them disappearing into the unknown like most of the consequences on LS... Also, Rafa would destroy scenes like that and I always want to see Rafa at the top of his game.

Would also love to see him get a different job but that seems unlikely and we'd lose that glorious utility belt strut

What do you think is going on in this still?

I do think it's most likely related to Gabriel's murder. It could be an update on where the Rangers are at in the case, it could be them calling Carlos in to assist with something (undercover Carlos mayhaps?), or maybe Carlos got suspended after what he did last season and this is him receiving a call from his boss with an update on his job status... honestly, no idea, but it's making me want to know things so fuck you tim minear

We all know about the elusive 5x05 spicy scene that has been teased, so what is your prediction for how it could possibly top 1x02?

See, I thought elements of the 2x12 sex scene were better than the 1x02 sex scene because there was all of this added intimacy and emotion between them, which just makes every touch and kiss and look and breath that much deeper and richer and sexier. Like, that look Carlos gives TK after taking his shirt off while straddling TK's thighs? That's sex right there. So, honestly, I don't know what they're going to go through between 5x01 and 5x04, but as long as the 5x05 scene contains all of that context that makes the moment about them and how they feel to be with each other, it's already topped 1x02 in my opinion. Rushed, casual, fun sex is great and hot and obviously I didn't hate it, but the combination of lust AND love? You can't ever beat that.

Where was the Tarlos honeymoon in your mind?

You know, I honestly don't know... I haven't really thought about it. Their honeymoon has kind of been a non-thing for me, so I hope wherever it was it was peaceful and exactly what they both needed.

Shoutout one of your favorite fan creations.

I know this says one, but there are so many different types of creations and I won't be able to mention all of them (it's been FOUR YEARS OKAY) but I want to try to share a range...

I absolutely have to start out with all the incredible work that @reyeslonestar gave this fandom: I have this one printed and framed, but I also love this one and this one and this one and THIS ONE. Also love this one by @whatsintheboxmh so much. I also love these two NSFW pieces by @a-kinkajou (but the AO3 links seem to be broken so you'll have to look at the SFW versions here on tumblr and just trust me).

ALSO I really love fanvids and in particular this one and this one (SOBBING) and this one and THIS ONE. While I wish I could list every gifset that has sparked an emotional response for me, it would be impossible, so I'll share this one (@maxbegone) because it makes me smile, these two because the vows are ev-er-y-thing (@danieljradcliffe), and this one because the Carlos Reyes Strut is also everything (@evanzbuck).

I mean, the Teacher AU. It's the teacher au. You don't understand, it's THE TEACHER AU (@three-drink-amy). I'm already so in love with Call Me, but that's no surprise since it's from the writers of iconic works like these (@welcometololaland @rmd-writes) The Knave verse is beyond iconic at this point (@liminalmemories21). This Carlos begins fic is really beautiful (@freneticfloetry) and this early fic has one of my favorite Carlos characterizations ever (@singerofsimplesongs). I'm always down for a firefighter!Carlos AU (@reyesstrand) because the man should be wearing turnouts.

Tagging: I'm not going to tag anyone because I think this game was going around a few days ago and I missed the train, but if anyone likes the questions and wants to answer, they should!

[bluemagi]

Re. Jumping ship and multishipping

I've been thinking a lot about this these past few weeks, since a certain hot pilot swooped in and stole my heart. I've seen people giving other people shit for "giving up" and jumping ship, for multishipping or even just for liking and enjoying a character. And it's just weird to me how people are so obsessed with controlling other people's behaviors. Just the other day I saw a TikTok where the creator was saying that people who "jumped ship" to Bucktommy were just fetishising because they want to see two guys kissing. Which is just... a terrible take on so many levels.

I was a Buddie shipper too. I enjoyed their on-screen relationship, I saw the signs that there might be more than friendship, and I hoped that something might happen. But I have also been in fandoms for at least 20 years by now. I've been through queerbaiting, I have been through shipbaiting, I have been through relationships I previously loved being destroyed by what happens on screen. I know that nothing is promised and that we have to have realistic expectations. Our interpretations of things are usually not what the writers/actors/directors/editors intend, and so we can always hope, but we have to know that we probably won't get what we want.

I think I grew a bit bored with the Buddie ship around season 5. I was watching queer representation in other shows, like Tarlos in Lone Star, and I couldn't see 911 ever go there, especially as time went on and nothing happened, there were no obvious signs. I didn't think they would ever make Buck or Eddie queer. I still enjoyed the show for what it was and would watch when I had the time, but I wasn't obsessing over it anymore. I would watch the show and hope that either one of them would get an interesting love interest (I actually sort of liked Natalia at the end of season 6), and until that happened, I would just enjoy Buddie outside of that, in fan fictions and Tumblr discourse.

So imagine my surprise when they finally did it, when they actually made Bi Buck canon. Since Tommy had been on the show before, we already knew a lot about him, and we could also read into the difference between s2 Tommy and s7 Tommy and see that there had been a lot of development there. So yeah, I was immediately interested. The more I saw, the more interested I became. So while I can still love and appreciate Buddie, it is far more interesting to me to have actual substance with an on-screen relationship, rather than having to try to interpret and read into every interaction to see if it can relate to Buddie.

But, back to jumping ship and multishipping. I've been thinking back through my fandom history, and I realized that this is something I have gone through several times before, in one way or another. I started out with soap operas, and in those, everyone cheats and nobody is ever happy for long, so jumping ship back and forth happens. Suddenly a character is killed, only to come back to life several years later. They completely change personalities, they change faces (new actors), so things change a lot. I suppose that might be why multishipping and jumping ship is not really an issue for me. It just make sense that you can change your mind about something when more content comes out. It's sort of like a relationship. You can be happy and in love for a while, or for a long time, but things change, people grow, and suddenly that relationship is not right for you anymore.

So I was thinking back on my previous experiences with jumping ship and multishipping, and I just scribbled down some thoughts on them. Starting with....

As The World Turns - Nuke vs. LuRe

I think one of the first times I jumped ship, was from Noah/Luke to Luke/Reid in As The World Turns. An American soap that ended in like 2011. Nuke were one of the first gay male couples on American day time TV, and if you have the time, please go read about them on Wikipedia, because their story is absolutely ridiculous and overdramatic, as most soap couples are. And since this was in the 00s / early 10s, they barely shared any kisses or intimacy. At certain points we were counting the days between their on-screen kisses, and I think we went 200 days without an on-screen kiss while they were in a romantic relationship on the show, and the first time they had sex, I think they just kissed and fucking jumped on the bed or something. It was just ridiculous. But it was representation, which there was not a lot of back in those days.

Then, my beloved Reid Oliver came into the picture. He was out and proud, he was confident, successful, unapologetic, he was just very interesting. Luke/Noah was young love, riddled with insecurity and drama. Luke/Reid was more confident, more adult. And also, it was an option! Back in those days, there were barely any queer characters on TV, and now there were three guys in one show. At the point when Reid came on to the show, I was already finding myself growing tired and annoyed with Nuke, and Noah specifically. So when he showed an interest in Luke and they began their relationship, I happily jumped over.

I was then punished by the show's cancellation and that fucking train, but that's beside the point.... Moving on!

Days of Our Lives - Will, Sonny and Paul

Now this was a fun one! I remember watching Days back when I was in elementary school. My friend and I would go home together from school and watch it before doing home work. I was better in English and in reading than her, so I would be reading the subtitles out loud to her so she could keep up with what was happening. I think Days actually helped me to learn English much better. So I remembered all the drama with Sami, Carrie, Lucas and Austin, and with baby Will. And it was a bit shocking to me when suddenly baby Will was an adult (or I guess in his late teens) and was coming out of the closet. This was around the same time as ATWT, I believe, around 2010, so again, there wasn't a lot of representation on TV.

Also, side note, this was before streaming was a thing, and I lived in Norway, so we didn't even have access to everything. I had to buy DVDs to watch stuff like Queer as Folk and The L Word.

Anyways, Will and Sonny became a couple, and with that, the first male same sex couple on the show. It was the only real option, so of course I shipped it. I am again reading the Wikipedia page for this couple, and their story is quite insane. They recast the role of Will at one point, and I didn't love how the character changed after the actor was changed. So when Paul came on the show, I was immediately drawn to him. His back story was interesting and the actor had amazing chemistry with everyone. So I shipped him with both Will and Sonny (and both versions of Will, tbh). And again, you simply must read the Wikipedia article about this. It was just pure insanity.

Supernatural – Dean, Cas, Benny

We cannot talk about shipping without talking about Destiel. It is simply not possible. I'm not even going to explain anything, because we're on Tumblr, everyone knows Destiel. So unsurprisingly, I am a Destiel shipper. I can't remember when I first started shipping them, but it must have been quite early. Probably not in season 4 when Cas first arrived, but probably in season 5.

So Destiel is an example where I haven't jumped ship, but instead, I have multishipped. Cas has unfortunately not really had any real love interest outside of Dean. I honestly can't even think of any, apart from that random woman he married when he had amnesia, which... just no, dude. But Dean however, he has had some options, and I haven't hated them.

Lisa, I loved her back in the early seasons. And when he went to live with her after season 5, I didn't hate it. I knew the chances of Destiel ever happening were slim to none, so I could enjoy Dean and Lisa together on screen while enjoying Dean and Cas in fan fictions.

Later, we met Benny. And I immediately loved him. He was so interesting, he had such an interesting relationship with Dean, and I was so mad when he died. Again, Dean was never shown to be anything but straight, so again, chances of anything happening here was also slim to none. But I could happily enjoy fan fictions and content on them, alongside with Destiel.

Other honorable mentions:

I was considering writing a whole section about Robron from Emmerdale, but I realized that I am still so pissed off about that whole thing, so I don't think I'd be able to articulate anything good from that. So instead I will just use this as an example of an on-screen couple that I absolutely loved, but that I ended up hating and abandoning due to what happened on screen. I jumped that ship straight into the ocean, and swam far far far away.

Klaine! The couple that got me into Tumblr in the first place! I loved Kurt from the first season, and I was so intrigued when Blaine came into the show (I was also a huge AVPM fan, so that just made it all the better). And I really enjoyed them together for the first couple of seasons. But thinking back, I think I fell out of love with them quite early on. Their stories didn't hit the same, it got boring. I was actually more interested in Karofsky by the time I stopped watching the show, which was probably part of the reason why I stopped watching. It was quite the unpopular opinion back then. Maybe still? I have no idea.

Gallavich! I loved Shameless back in the day, and Mickey and Ian were among my favorites. But at a certain point, I got fed up with it all and stopped watching. The on-and-off stuff got boring, important things got swept under the rug, and I didn't like the treatment of Mickey. Anyway, I gave up and stopped watching. It was only years later when the show was ending that I caught up and found out they actually ended up together. Which was amazing, but still left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.

Anyways, my point is that there seems to be this opinion now that if you ship a couple, you are stuck with them for life. Jumping ship, or even multishipping, is seen as a betrayal, as something horrible. Shipping Buck and Tommy apparantly means that we hate Eddie, and that we don't care about the beautiful friendship and relationship Buck and Eddie have. But that is simply not the truth. At least not for me, or for most people I have seen discussing this.

At this point in time, I am going to enjoy the beautiful on-screen relationship that is Buck and Tommy, and I am excited to see where it goes. If that relationship ends, and somewhere down the line, Buck and Eddie finally end up together, I will probably be happy (as long as it is done right, like Oliver Stark himself has said).

[emeraldracer]

It will be kind of a personal post, and I contemplated if I should write this, but it bounces in my head for some time now, and maybe it'll be relatable to some people. I value fiction in my life a lot, as probably any person who went through some shit in their childhood and found a shelter in stories. I also learned to overcome difficult things through looking at characters with a similar experience. That's why the rejection of so called problematic hits me so hard.

Armand's relationship with Marius is a goldmine of therapeutic stuff for people like me. I do empathize with Armand in general, but Marius as a figure who's done him plenty of harm however still was loved by Anne and is loved by Armand is what I dig in often.

Maker/fledgling dynamic mixes a lot together as it is (the show is actually very good at exploring this), but with these two it's done to the extremes. I don't see it as a bad thing personally, because I'm in the category of people who were emotionally abandoned by their parents and have issues with not seeking the parental type of love from their partners. Hence plenty of consequences that it entails. You look for someone older who very possibly will abuse your trust. You struggle with responsibilities in a relationship. You don't have boundaries. What Anne did by sticking roles of a parent and a partner to one person can be quite helpful to understand the pattern. There's a lot of bitterness on top of it all that I do recognize: the addiction and the doubt on Armand's part, particularly when they talk religion. You depend on what they give you, you let them scramble your brain on the regular.

Why I think Marius still being lovable to the characters is meaningful? The most realistic thing about this is that people continue to have feelings for their shitty parents and crave the warmth they didn't receive.

"Master, I love you, but now I must be alone," I said. "You don't need me now, do you, Sir? How can you? You never really did."

Usually the family, if they aren't complete assholes, will still have people that respect them, too. I appreciate that Anne wrote Marius ignorant and not purely evil, because it's the most common thing to be harmed by ignorance. I've said it before and I'll repeat it many times later, I'm sure.

I love the church dialog in the beginning of TVA (the quote above), because Armand there is contemplative and tries to distance himself from Marius, despite being emotionally wrecked. Comparing to how mindlessly needy he was in Venice it's a progress. He grew, he knows how to say no, even if I would like it to be firmer.

The answer to why they are talking at all is quite obvious to me, too. Fandom wrote a lot about how being eternal might affect the desire to mend things even with those who caused you grief. But again, people choose to do it with parents all the time.

And (!) by QotD Armand chooses his partners quite differently: from Lestat - a Marius's carbon copy, to Daniel with a completely different dynamic. The fact it can be seen as a reversed thing is a separate conversation, though.

I totally believe these plotlines go beyond bedroom scenes and fetishizing and magnetize the faulty nature of such a thing. As an afterthought, another similar line Anne did is Lestat having a thing for Gabrielle. And I know we like to laugh about it, but it's not a leap of imagination to compare this to infantile boys who cling to their mothers and expect their girlfriends to give them the same treatment. The fact he is forced to let Gabrielle go is a perfect conclusion to this, if you ask me.

[lake-archive]

Track 18 - This Is What I've Come To Be

Content Warning!

Gender Dysphoria

If this makes you uncomfortable, I advise you to skip this one.

AO3 Link

Fandom: Hypnosis Mic

Character: Ann Wolff (OC)

Synposis: A young woman, living up to expectations… That is her role. Yeah, her role. This is who she has become. But… Should she be exactly that? A young woman? ‘Are you happy living like this?’

Track 17 - Track List - Track 19

One expectation after the other and they only piled up over the years. It had all started when she was a little girl. Even back then it had been tough to keep up with most girls her age but not impossible. And besides, as a kid Ann had not paid too much attention to it. She just had fun, things flew over her head. She had no sense for many things. Heck, thinking back she may have as well have been rather naive if anything else – Believing every word, trusting people too easily. It got her into trouble but she laughed it off, always. 

Thinking back, maybe being a kid is more fun than she might have considered years ago. Oh how many times she had said “ I look forward to becoming an adult and doing all the adult stuff! I won’t have to ask Mama or Papa for my stuff either! I can do whatever I want and stay up for as long as I want, hehe~ ” Always with a smile. Always with the utmost confidence, as cheerful as possible. It wasn’t difficult, back then she was probably happier than ever. Her younger self would probably even look past the pain and just be excited to become an adult, finally doing the things she wanted and no one could tell her otherwise. It was a simpler time, a simpler mindset… Because if only… Oh if only… 

Maybe she would change her mind if she could look into the future. Becoming older and growing up is difficult, a pain. Life doesn’t become easier, no, it only becomes harder. People forgive a child easily. After all, a child is still learning about the world and doesn’t know what they are doing. A child still needs to grasp concepts, has to learn how to communicate, walk, speak – All of it. A child has to learn it from the ground up. Yet once you grow and enter your teenage years… Once you get a better understanding of the world… Once you notice that life isn’t as colorful as you believed it would be…

It is all gone. The days are almost ruined. And the worst part of it all, there is no turning back. So your responsibilities grow. The rules on how to act around others become more and pile up. Sure, there is no set rule on what you have to wear, specialize and be interested in… But it may as well be. 

The more Ann’s body developed the more people expected from her – Other girls approached her, asking her what she thinks about the latest fashion trend or the senior passing by the hallway. Not to mention hanging out, going to karaoke and the mall, gossiping away. And when it is the time to get a boyfriend… She snatched herself one as well, unfortunately. It didn’t matter if there were feelings or not, she had to experience it like anyone else around her… Right? The feelings would come eventually… Well, everyone knows how that went in two years by now. 

It all came cracking down… And eventually it was meant to be, most likely. Yeah, the mask would fall. And even Ann noticed whenever looking into the mirror. She seemed different, different compared to all those years ago. Obviously her body grew, she had developed the body of a young woman. That was natural, something she couldn’t stop. She was aging. Even if she dislikes how her body looks she couldn’t stop it. Or she could change it but… It was too expensive and Ann wondered if this was even worth it. 

But that was not the point. That was not the difference she had noticed. It was her face. When taking a closer look into the mirror, finally, she noticed it all. She looked tired, a little pale. Her hair was messier than usual, the bags under her eyes starting to show when looking very closely. However, the most noteworthy part was her eyes. Her pair of eyes, visible when she moved one side of her hair a little up. It was in both of them. 

There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. She saw nothing in them. They were green, disgustingly so. Dark green, not giving off a reflection. Or she just couldn’t see one. But not that it mattered. Because they may as well be devoid of anything. There was no life in them. There was no light in them. There was no sparkle in them. Not even a hint.

She always felt tired. Because she was tired. 

Not just that but any brightness and color she might have had in her entire body is gone. Her hair, her skin, her lips – All of it. It was all dark and pale. She may as well be the equivalent of a wandering corpse.

Sadly… It made sense to her. When seeing herself like this it was nothing out of the ordinary. It was nothing surprising. It was nothing shocking. The obvious answer was right in front of her. She knew the answer. She would have to be an ignorant fool to not notice it, not anymore at least.

And yet, all Ann did when being in front of that mirror, was stare at it. She took the sight in, eyeing herself. She couldn’t stand looking at herself, she really couldn’t. It was a reminder of what she was, what she didn’t want to be. She didn’t want to be seen like this. She always felt ashamed of it. She always felt disgusted. And yet, people associate her face with this body – A woman’s body. It felt wrong, so wrong. This body brought her more harm than good. This body may as well have contributed to destroying her. And yet, this body is also a part of her… Doesn’t mean she had to like it of course. And she didn’t. 

“ I AIN’T A WOMAN! ” It had come out of her mouth. Was this true? Could this be possible? She wasn’t one? Was she? Hah, this was hard… When younger she really didn’t have to think about that. She could just play with her dolls and action figures as she pleased and no one had cared… Could she be that? 

Could Ann even defy any of this? Could she… Not be a woman? After all, that is who she has become. A woman. A woman is right in front of her… And it’s making her sick to the core. But this is what she has come to be, exactly that. And it was the worst… So, to finally answer that question…

“Are you happy living like this?”

No, it doesn’t need answering. Not if it is that obvious…

Track 17 - Track List - Track 19

[yoshifruit]

i respect your mario opinions very much and i repsect your music opinions even more. I know you just made a post decrying the tendency of people to commodify music as an art form through the lens of fandom brain however i was wondering what do you think luigi would listen to

Viewing music through the lens of other fandom (because to be fair, people enjoying music can also be a form of fandom) mostly only annoys me when it's mostly the only thing talked about in a YouTube comments section for a song, cause I feel like it steers a conversation into talking about some show or game rather than the song itself. If it's on people's personal blogs though I don't mind, since this is something I myself do. But also I do realize this mindset makes a hypocrit. Anyways I ended up writing more than I thought I would, so I'm putting it under a read more. Thank you very much for sending this ask. 💚

Usually whenever I think of a video game character's taste in music, I tend to base it on what songs represent the character in the games, and what music genres the composer was most likely inspired by when composing those songs. With most Sonic characters this is easy because of Jun Senoue deciding to use different music genres for each character in games like Sonic Adventure and SA2. I think it's a bit harder for some Mario characters though, since most songs in many Mario games aren't use to represent Luigi himself, or Mario himself for that matter.

So for Mario, I tend to think of his taste in music in association with the music that Koji Kondo was inspired by when composing for the earlier games. And I think Mario and Luigi would have mostly similar music taste, considering they're close siblings who still live together, and thus probably listen to a lot of music together. I'm basing this on my own sibling experience though, since this was the case when I lived with my sister. But also whenever I hear music that reminds me of music in Mario games, I tend to think of many Mario characters rather than just one.

So because of that, I think both of them would be into jazz fusion, artists like T-SQUARE and Lee Ritenour and other 70s/80s jazz fusion artists. Like I think Mario would own multiple jazz fusion and smooth jazz albums in vinyl and would put them on to relax or to do chores around the house and Luigi would happily listen with him, sometimes putting on the albums himself. Thinking about artists like Al Jarreau, Spyro Gyra, Casiopea, George Benson, Bobbi Humphrey, etc.

I also think they would eventually find and enjoy 70s/80s J-pop (aka City Pop). Similar to a couple jazz fusion artists, some people have pointed out that Kondo might have taken inspiration from city pop artists like Piper and Tatsuro Yamashita (though I think these comparisons to Kondo's work are a bit debatable). I think Mario and Luigi would enjoy this style of music in a similar way. I think they would like artists like Masataka Matsutoya, Hiroshi Sato, Masaki Matsubara, etc. Though maybe I think this because many of these artists were inspired by jazz fusion, jazz funk, and disco.

Oh I also think Mario and Luigi would love disco. Not necessarily because of any of the music in the games. I imagine Mario and Luigi grew up and lived in a New Donk City similar look of New York City in the 70s and 80s, before they moved to the Mushroom Kingdom. Probably because of Native New Yorker by Odyssey, like I can imagine both of them listening to this song when living in New Donk while feeling a bit sad about their lives at that time, but then listening back to the song and feeling nostalgic about that time. I feel like Luigi would be way more into disco than Mario would be though. Like I can imagine him going to the disco clubs as a young adult. But maybe this is just because I read him as being gay lol. Oh, and I think Pauline would also listen to disco. I think Luigi would be into Italo-disco as well.

Oh, and I also think Luigi loves flamenco, though he's probably not listening to it with other people often. Like it's a music genre that other would be surprised he'd be into. Think this specifcally because of his theme in Mario Strikers Chraged which is really good. It makes me wanna listen to more flamenco styled music since I don't run into that style of music often, other than Blaze it Up by Mondo Grosso, not sure if Luigi would like that one though. If anyone has flamenco recs, please send them.

Thanks again for sending this ask, I'm suprised anyone cares about my opinion on these things since I rarely talk on this blog. I would've linked to more songs, but Tumblr is being weird about me adding links to this post. Sorry if this response is kinda boring. I put together a playlist that reminds me of Mario games and characters while some of these songs I've mentioned here on it, but never finished the playlist. Maybe I'll work on it again and think more of Luigi this time.

[victorianpining]

Hi Rebs!! sorry this is probably a bit out of the blue but I just feel like there’re so many words and thanks I should’ve said to you but haven’t.

I’ve moved on a bit from the Sherlock fandom but the other day I saw someone saying how tjlc probably started the “shipping conspiracies” trend, and somehow I got a bit exhilarated remembering those days. Seeing how “outsiders” think of us is ~interesting~ (tho they probably still believe we were just overthinking), but as someone who firmly believed in tjlc back in the days, I knew I really enjoyed every minute of it. Being in this fandom gave me hope, helped me find my identity and changed my life. It was also one of the greatest fun I’ve ever had. If I got relive the pre-s4 era again I’d still choose to believe in tjlc. My life was difficult at that time, and you were one of those who showed me the light. Watching your videos always got me smiling and thinking I have to live to see the johnlock kiss, I need to know how much of it tjlc got right. Even if I didn’t get what I want in the end, I’d still prefer to live in hopes for a better future, still want to be amazed by the theories and your superb analytical skills.

So I want to thank you, for everything you’re doing now and everything you did back then. Your videos are one of the best on media analysis, and if tjlc started anything, imo it was teaching people literary techniques. I for one actually learned a lot more about storytelling from the meta than from school, and I couldn’t imagine how my life would’ve been if I were never part of this. Many have said this already but I also really want to say it again: it was never fair for people to blame you or others in tjlc for what s4 turned out to be. I was 16-17 back then too, and I think we all chose to believe in this ourselves. Not everything would turn out to be good, but there’s nothing wrong with believing in good things, and nothing wrong with wanting to share good things with others. If we were always “rational” about everything we wouldn’t have been this passionate, and if i weren’t passionate about it, it wouldn’t have been one of my mental support for many years. Even when Sherlock isn’t my favorite show anymore I’d always remember those days fondly and be grateful for what you’ve brought us :)

Sorry this got longer than I intended. I’m just really happy to see you back and find closure <3

Hi anon, thank you so much for writing! I've spent probably too much time thinking of the ways tjlc did or didn't end up shaping future fandoms and the way it was looked at by outsiders. But in the end I think I've come to the same conclusion as you, if I could go back, I *would* do things differently but I wouldn't undo being a part of tjlc. Like you said, in the end we were all just hoping for a better world, and I like to think that even the bad times had a positive impact in the end, I know I personally grew and matured a *lot* as a result. And yeah, learning about media analysis and Holmesian history and making friends, I wouldn't undo any of that.

I'm very happy to hear my old videos helped you learn analysis! That is definitely one of the highlights of the whole experience, and honestly hearing from so many people who did learn about literary analysis through my work has pushed me to potentially pursue transitioning to teaching English (or at least picking it up part time). So thank you! (And everyone else who has sent me something similar)

And thank you for looking back on my work so kindly and so generously. I always see that as the gift it is and I never take it for granted. I hope you have a lovely evening or whatever time of day it is for you! <3

[blackstarising]

ok i promised myself up and down i wouldn’t make posts like this anymore for my own mental health but i’ve been seeing a lot of, uh, takes in regards to the potential of sarah and bucky dating and a lot of confusion to why these takes are racist, insulting and hurtful, especially to black people. and for me? well, i won't lie, it's personal.

what non-black people need to understand is that positive portrayals of interracial romantic relationships between dark-skinned black women (yes, dark skinned) and non-black men are extremely uncommon in media. for example, can you think about any recent fictional portrayals of relationships of this kind? maybe rick and michonne from the walking dead? or abbie and ichabod from sleepy hollow? great, because those are the only two that i can think of off the top of my head.

okay, now how many of those relationships ended happily?

right.

as a next point, why do i highlight ‘dark-skinned’? because of colorism. you’ve probably seen that word thrown around a lot more in the past year. colorism is the discrimination within ethnic groups between those with lighter colored skin (and more eurocentric features and hair texture, i’m folding in featurism and texturism for ease) and those with darker skin.

the way this plays out in visual media is that it’s much more common to see lighter skinned black women in roles than darker skinned black women. when i was growing up, this was evident in both white-produced AND black-produced media. that’s so raven. sister sister. my wife and kids. the proud family, even. and to make it worse, it wasn’t uncommon for dark skinned black women in shows like these to be portrayed as unattractive, uncultured, or straight up bullies.

this isn’t me saying that we shouldn’t see light skinned or biracial black women in media. i want to emphasize that their life experiences and the pressures they have are different from mine. but i know that, because of colorism, i grew up thinking that the absence of Eurocentric features and a non Eurocentric body meant i was not beautiful and not worthy to be seen. and these truths can coexist. this is not an uncommon wound of colorism.

i say all this to say that for bucky barnes, a white man, to flirt with sarah wilson, a dark skinned black woman, is not the same as ‘just another het ship’. it is positive representation in its own right.

now, i’ve been in fandom for years. i’ve encountered this before. and i’ve encountered this enough to know that truthfully, these kind of ships make people truly uncomfortable and sometimes these people do a bad job of hiding it. what reason, i can’t say. if you ask me, i suspect part of the discomfort comes non-black people realizing they can’t project onto the black person in the ship in the same way they’re used to. i could be wrong. but i’ve been around enough to see a lot of pretzeling and back bending to discredit these sorts of relationships that don’t seem to come up for similar pairings if that same black woman was now white. and i’m seeing it again here, so i wanted to break down the most common takes i’ve either seen or i suspect i’ll see soon and break them down to explain why exactly you’ve been getting irritated replies and why they’re hurtful.

“bucky’s flirting with sarah to make sam jealous.” without thinking about it, this is actually a funny trope. sibling rivalry and all that. and you’re right, bucky doesn’t have to be attracted to sarah, and maybe you ship sambucky instead. but what if he can still find her attractive? this take subtly discredits the idea that bucky could find sarah attractive in her own right - there has to be some ulterior motive in order to explain it, yeah?

“bucky repeated sarah’s name like that because sarah was steve’s mom’s name.” we do know bucky knows steve’s mom’s name! but again, this feels like a lot of reaching to again, rework bucky’s potential attraction to sarah in a different context so it’s not actually genuine. in this case, he doesn’t like her, she just makes him think of his dead best friend’s mom, right?

“sarah’s so strong and badass, she doesn’t need a man! she deserves better.” okay. what does ‘deserving better’ actually mean? why can’t a potentially fulfilling relationship for sarah, a hardworking widow with two children, be deserving better? this also plays into the Strong Black Woman myth, in which black women are just So Strong and Self Sufficient and Powerful they don’t need anything! not even social aid! or protection! or love! or mental health support! let me be clear, this trope is not fun for us, it’s not a positive, it’s a burden that allows society to justify not protecting black women.

“this seems kind of forced/crowbarred in to me.” maybe, but also, in the episode, they really just said 'hi' to one another. now if sam had caught them making out on the boat two seconds after they met, that would have raised my eyebrows, but they just said 'hi'. some people are interpreting that as flirtatious - i'm one of them. but again, using words like 'crowbar' and 'force' or 'shove' make it seem like bucky's attraction to sarah is irrational.

now, here’s what i’m not saying. i’m not threatening you to ship bucky and sarah Or Else. you don't have to. i do. i think it’s fun! but that’s my choice. you don’t have to make that choice. you could be shipping someone else with either sarah or bucky and you don't want something to get in the way of that, i get it. i'm also not saying that sarah needs bucky's validation to be considered beautiful, far from it. what i’m saying is it’s worth it to evaluate the ways that implicit racism is affecting and influencing your responses to interracial relationships with black people, and especially black women in the media. because even if you might not see it, there are those of us who can. why can't the prospect of a white man flirting with a dark skinned black women be taken at face value? maybe sit with that.

sources for further reading the roots of colorism, or skin tone discrimination the walking dead's new power couple: 'richonne' and fandom racism fanlore breakdown of 'what shipping richonne taught me about racism' black women and the thin line between strong and angry post on black womanhood and feminism what is featurism? black hair and mental health: a tale of texturism fandom and the intersection of feminism and race "weak black women" by robin thede (for giggles) the take's 'the strong black woman, explained' (yet to watch but the take hasn't failed me yet)

[cloudninetonine]

A Player's Aid: Chapter 8

Fandom: Legend of Zelda, Linked Universe.

A/N: As an apology for taking so long on the last chapter I sped ran this for all to enjoy with a little surprise at the end. ;)

Warnings: Brief mentions of violence, brief mentions of an argument, angst, bad language, mentions of anxiety(?)

It was only a little past 4 when you reached the stable, everyone seemed to still be vibrating with energy, chatting vividly amongst each other and walking around to check out where the lot of you would be camping tonight. In all honesty, you hadn’t been surprised that any of them weren’t even close to being tired- they were adventurers, they were heroes and a 10-hour walk certainly wouldn't put a dent in their vitality. 

However, you were practically dead on your feet. The walk had put a strain on your legs, and including that earlier scuffle with those Chuchus, your whole body felt heavy from exhaustion. Your eyes fought to stay open as you sat back on a tree stump next to the cookpot just to the right of Dueling Peaks Inn, Wild already cooking lunch while everyone did their own thing around you. 

"Tired?" A quick glance to your left showed the Hero of Warriors, taking a seat on the log next to your stump, leaning on his elbows on his knees with a careful smile.

You hummed. "I'm not used to so much walking."

"Is that so?" 

Nodding your head, you wrapped your arms around yourself and yawned. "Hiking like this is reserved for days out with friends- most of the time I get around using public transport or my car."

"And what's that?" Wild asked from next to the pot, cutting up some carrots on a chopping board and then sliding them into the boiling water. “‘Public Transport? Car?’ I’ve never heard such a pairing.”

“Uhhhh-”

Oh, how could you explain this? A metal horse? A metal cart? Honestly, how would you begin to explain half the thing within your world? The concept of metal containers that would fly, a system that kept you connected to almost everyone in the world, the technological advancements of science, and medicine alike. The etiquette, the people- everything seemed to be such a foreign concept in the light of the Legend of Zelda franchise aesthetic. You were talking to real medieval men, adventurers and knights- your world wasn’t even close to a dream, it was a concept that seemed improbable.

Warriors glanced over to Wild as you blue-screened, the younger male shrugging his shoulders before turning back to cooking, stirring it accordingly.

“...Like,” You started, gesturing your hands in a sort of box, face creasing as you willed your brain to blow off the dust on its functioning cogs and begin production of your thought process. “Like a metal…cart? No-”

The knight gave you pity.

Pity veiled in another deep question.

“What exactly do you hope to achieve travelling with us?”

Your gaze snapped up to him, his expression, not mean or cautious as you expected- but holding a true sincerity for his question. Warriors wanted to actually know what you wanted to get out of your newfound allyship with them all, something everyone was probably thinking and while it did stir the anxiety in your gut, it brought respect forth for the man who was actually trying to get answers from you in a polite way.

Hands came to fumble together in thought.

What did you want from this adventure? Of course, your main goal was to return home, no matter how much you grew to like- no love this place. Hyrule was a dream come true, a very dangerous dream and you knew that in the end, you’d be gutted having to leave such a beautiful place behind, a concrete fragment within your memory. It would hurt, but this wasn’t a place you could stay, not when you knew you’d miss everything back home. Arguments with yourself were frequent along with this question- back home the world seemed so horrible, so the gift of travel to a completely different universe to experience the life of dreams would be something to take in a heartbeat, right?

But what about those you left behind? Your best friends without a single clue as to where you had disappeared to. A vacant bed with a whining pet who missed the return of their master as they nuzzled into the pillow that had already long forgotten your scent. A mother, alone in the living room wondering if you were alive or dead as police tried desperately (did they even care?) to get you back. You’d miss the memories of places too: The seaside with those beaches, the parks that had been trekked, again and again, the cinema you’d watch great or rubbish movies in with companions, the shops that you’d spent hours exploring- being pessimistic about the world around you was easy, but in the end, the true beauty of it all slapped you in the face when it was but a thought in your head.

Your home wasn't great but it also wasn't terrible. 

"(Name)?" A hand came to rest on your shoulder, your attention brought forth as Warriors glanced over you, meeting your eyes finally. "Are you well-" 

"Nothing." 

The man paused before raising a brow. 

"I don't have anything I want to achieve while with you guys- unless befriending you all and making it less awkward is something." With a shrug, you smiled, sweet and soft. "Maybe learning how to fight so my arse doesn't have to deal with more Chuchu burns- fucking hell those hurt. I thought Chuchus smacked you like when you accidentally belly flop into a pool-" 

The chuckle that left the blonde surprised you both it seemed, the man's hand moving from your shoulder to cover his mouth as it spiralled into laughter, the heat crawling up your neck at the deep, smooth sound-

I THINK THE FUCK NOT YOU STUPID BITCH-

STAY BACK CRINGE CRUSH FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL-

"Your honesty is humorous at times, (Name), but I like that." His eyes almost sparkled in the afternoon sun, hair blowing in the wind and ruffling golden yellow locks. "Melancholy is for the mundane, your comedy is something that we will need during this adventure." 

…What type of anime bullshit was this? 

Why were the Goddesses making him so handsome? Was it to torment you for that stupid x reader you made when you were 13?! You had sent that memory into the bottomless void with the rest of the soul torturing embarrassments-

"Cheers." You responded awkwardly, looking away. "You- uh, hm- You have pretty eyes and a nice face. Very skrunkly-"

Your face immediately fell into your hands. 

What the actual fuck, (Name). 

Your friends would have certainly burned you at the stake like a Salem witch without a shred of kindness in their eyes. 

‘The council has made their decision- to the Chat of Shame they go.’

Your stupidity would be pinned in the Discord chat for all to see.

Wild wasn't hiding his amusement, that was for sure, snorting out the spoonful of soup he was taste testing right into his hand, laughter spilling from his lips as he turned to his bag and searched for a cleaning cloth within his bag. Every single cell within your being told you to kick him over as he patted down his face, glaring down at him. 

"Thank you?" The Knight chuckled, patting you lightly on the back to help ease your humiliation. "You are, uh, skrunkly too?" 

You couldn't hold back the horrid noise that you weren't entirely sure was a laugh from bursting out of your mouth. 

-----

There was a certain tenseness around Twilight when he'd approached Time later that day. His shoulders were squared, his brows furrowed and his lips pinched in a way that the older man knew meant he had a question, one he was certain he wasn't about to like. Only to be expected though, it would have come from him or the Hero of Warriors eventually and he was not apprehensive about answering as he cleaned down the Gilded Sword from the Chuchu slime. 

"Why would you leave them alone?" 

The tone in his voice revealed a clear negative: he was upset, he was confused- he was angry and he had every right to be. The rancher looked up to Time with an obvious adoration for his heroics and what he had done today was certainly not that. Leaving you alone was stupid, it was cruel and the younger man knew better than to watch your form disappear from sight as they took position to take on the camp. Anyone could have stayed, but the old man had decided none of them would. 

Why? 

Time returned to his weapon. "I was testing something."

Twilight's frown became more prominent. "What could you have possibly tested that it would have risked their life-" 

"It's watching us." 

A noise of confusion left the man before it morphed into understanding, however, the conflict still swam within his gaze. "And you believed that it was needed to leave them? We didn't need to test that theory when it is something we have already guessed." 

It wasn't just that. 

It was with a heavy heart that Time kept it to himself but it was for the best because the younger lad simply wouldn't understand. Or maybe he would, a simple glance towards Hyrule prodded that idea similar to a sleeping bear. 

There was something about you and he knew it. It had started with your voice itching a scratch he just couldn't reach, it was relieving and sweet, his body physically relaxing and almost bringing tears to his eyes and for what? What possible reason could your voice do that to him? No magic was in place, so how? 

The answer was your relationship with the traveller it had to be. The man wasn't a fool, he knew that the Hero of Hyrule was hiding something but he also knew questions upon questions would lead to no answers. 'They resemble my old friend' is what the boy had told them that evening but there was more to it, that fondness in his eyes was all too real and he wanted to understand why. Time wanted to know if that same feeling of fondness is what lay too far in his own mind, hidden by a wall of darkness he couldn't seem to penetrate. 

So, he thought he'd test your wills. After all, if you were an old friend of the travellers, were you perhaps an old friend of his? Maybe seeing you fight would spark the fire in his head and thus the memory would present itself. 

It was only when you fell into his arms, whimpering with tears fighting to fall, did he remember you didn't hold the face of a fighter and he had just pushed you into a dangerous position without any regard for your safety. 

The way you clung to Hyrule had his heart squeezing with regret. 

"A guess is a guess," The man replied finally, meeting the narrowed eyes of Twilight after nearly a minute of silence. "I- we needed to know for certain if the Shadow is watching us. That Chuchu is proof-" 

"In what way is it proof-" 

"Must you keep asking questions?!" 

Twilight's mouth snapped shut, the tense atmosphere shifting uncomfortably when Time finally sighed, leaning back with a mixed gaze. 

"My apologies, I didn't-" Releasing another breath, he slid his sword back into its scabbard. "I believe that the Shadow summoned the monster not to hurt our guest but to separate them from us." 

Twilight settled down on the log opposite his mentor, leaning forward with his brows once again furrowed, however, his expression held confusion in contrast to his earlier grumpy scowl. "But we were already separated?" 

"Not far enough- you saw how fast the traveller moved. One scream and he may have ended our journey in no less than a few seconds." Glancing back over to their comrades, the two men watched the scene from afar. 

Wild was sneaking up on an untamed horse along with you and Hyrule following behind. The two watched as Wild gestured for you to come closer, saying something they couldn't hear from their own position before the both of you were rushing forward and jumping the great beast, frantically soothing it until it finally relaxed, your cheers loud as you threw your hands within the air in accomplishment. 

"I believe the monster was a ploy to get them alone so that it could strike." You turned your body, high fiving the Hero of the Wild. "It just didn't account for which way (Name) would have run." 

"The Shadow is smart, did it not think of that possibility?" 

Time hummed in thought. "It may be desperate." 

"Perhaps."

Silence hung between them as you, Wild and Hyrule trekked back over to the group, your mouth running fast from your excitement while Hyrule laughed, patting your thigh in hopes of calming you down.

 “We will continue this later.”

They returned to their own duties.

-----

"Who are they?" 

It was late now, the sun setting in the West and bathing the area in a beautiful golden glow. The evening wind blew softly, ruffling the trees and waving the grass around you with its gentle whistle, the flow of Squabble River soft in your ears, its currents beautiful against the light of the sunset and the water disappeared into the horizon beyond the cliffs of Dueling Peaks.

The camp was situated just by Ha Dahamar Shrine, the fire a beacon in the coming night as the laughter of men caught the air, the different heroes exchanging many stories of their adventures, some making boisterous gestures while others merely sat back comfortably.

You knew you couldn’t wander off, no, that would have been a stupid decision but you also wanted to get away just a little, just bask in the beautiful serenity of Hyrule. Big Twin Bridge was only a few feet away, somewhere close to keep an eye on you, so you pointed towards it, informed Hyrule of your decision and sat on the wood to watch the sun disappear from the sky.

You understood why Rusl felt sad when dusk fell as the world around you bled from view and the only thing in your mind was what could possibly be happening back home. Your hand fell to your bag beside you, rummaging through the contents to find what you were looking for and- there.

Your purse, with different important trinkets stuffed inside.

“Jesus Christ Wind!” You had yelped a little while after pulling out the thing, holding your assortment of items close so as to not drop them in the river below. “Don’t fucking sneak up on me like that you little bastard.”

The young boy huffed, sitting down next to you with an overdramatic scowl as his arms came to cross over themselves. “Not my fault you’re deaf.”

“You little shit-”

The boy laughed, missing your playful swat his way then leaned against your arm as you huffed playfully, turning back to the little photos in your hands.

“So, who are they?”

“My friends and family from back home.” Turning them towards him for a better view, you pointed them out to him carefully as you spoke their names. “That’s Marie and JD, they were my childhood friends at a funfair. That’s Amira and Abdul, they’re twins, we met them a little later in life and that there is Elisabetta, we only became friends recently.”

“And her?”

“This one? That’s my mum- we went out for her birthday,” You laughed, bringing it a little closer to examine the look on your mother’s face. Excitement, pure excitement after you drove her to a beautiful garden cafe an hour away, bought her lunch for the day then gifted her a pretty engraved ring with a card you and your other friends had signed- all from your own pocket. “She was so happy and proud, I’d saved for months to make her 50th birthday special.”

Wind looked up at you. “Do you have any more photos?”

“Oh, yeah, on my phone- hold on.”

Staring at the abundance of memories stored in the hard drive of the device proved something you already knew- you missed them all so much. From the cute nights out with your gang to the stupid cursed photos that JD or Elisa would sneak when you weren’t looking and those just such motherly images your mama would send of her pretty window plants, the food she had cooked while you were at university or work with the caption “Wish you were here! :)” and old little memories she’d find going through her photo box on occasion.

The Sailor recognised the look that glazed over your face the longer you went through your gallery, moving his sleeve to wipe away the tears that had slowly begun to roll down your cheeks, a small sniff sounding from your nose when Wind squeezed your hand, gesturing to look at him.

“I miss them too.” He whispered, “My sister and my nanny- I miss them a lot.”

The tears returned tenfold and your arms moved to wrap around the smaller boy who welcomed your hug without argument. His own face pinched with sadness as you sobbed into his hair, crying for the comfort of your friends and your family. It was nice to know that the feeling was mutual, maybe not even just with the boy, but for now, you found comfort in him, thanking the beings above that you weren’t alone with your longing.

"I'm sorry," You wept, "You probably haven't seen your family for ages and I'm here crying after 3 days-" 

"Don't apologize, distance affects us all differently." 

That's all you needed to hear, continuing to cry your heart until you were finally satisfied, Wind by your side your entire time. 

And at that moment, it was enough. 

-----

Getting awoken wasn't something you were really fond of. Honestly, that could be said for many, however, you were particularly angry this time around from your disturbed sleep with your bedroll being lumpy, leaving you to struggle to enter the land of dreams until well into the night, the first duty being taken by Four who sent you a sympathetic smile at your toss and turns. 

Wild wasn't spared any kindness with the dirty glare you sent him that only hardened when you noticed the lack of daylight around you, only the glow of the dying fire that Hyrule was poking at lighting up his quick to change expression of nerves, hands flying up. 

"What?" 

"I mean no ill intent: There's something I want to show you." 

Your face was pinched with displeasure as you pushed yourself up to a seated position, moving your hand to rub at your eye to rid of the sleep. “Really? Right now?”

“Yes, right now.”

With a whine, you flopped back onto your bedroll, summoning the wills of a thousand suns for the energy of having to leave your warm, lumpy mat.

Wild was patient the entire time as you dragged yourself to get ready, too tired to even argue when he handed you a different set of clothes to your own with no explanation, but you honestly didn’t care- they were fluffy and incredibly warm as you pulled them over you while the wild hero talked with the traveller just a few feet away.

“You promise to take care of them?”

“I swear on my life.”

The friendship between the two had certainly become a deep one, a shared love for adventuring and deep secrets whispered in moments of silence- they were like blood brothers with a bond forged from flames. Having each other’s back was minimal, if one were to jump into a bottomless pit the other would follow in hopes of the following escapade. Hyrule and Wild were not a duo to be messed with, unpredictable and fueled by the fire in their hearts, the other heroes knew together they would be in good hands.

The brunette also knew that his friend would keep his promise, however with the anxious squeeze in his chest putting pressure upon his shoulders for reassurance the man needed confirmation. Hyrule couldn’t lose you again, not a third time, not after so many years with so little time together could the hero let you disappear from his hands when he had just gotten you back. Accompanying you both wasn’t an option, not with the others dead asleep just a few inches away, he needed to guard them as his morning duty suggested. 

So when Wild’s hand rested upon his shoulders, cerulean blue meeting hazelnut brown with a second promise of “I swear it.” falling from his lips, Hyrule swallowed the ball in his throat and sat back against his log.

“...Be back soon.”

Wild grinned something cheeky. “As quick as lightning.”

With a chuckle, Hyrule snapped his fingers and let the magic spark between the digits. “An oath, my friend?”

“An oath I shall make it- if that is what you so truly wish.”

“I’m ready.” You called quietly over, sat patiently on your sleep mat as Hyrule finally waved him off, the other hero standing to his full height and turning towards you.

“...Protect them.”

Without sparing another glance, Wild nodded then walked over to you, tugging you to your feet then walking away from the camp, further in between the cliffs of Dueling Peaks.

“Where are we going?”

“Just a moment-”

The reveal of the Sheikah Slate- The Sheikah Slate was indeed a sight to behold…only for it to be overshadowed by the tiny whispers of magic accompanying it, sending a shiver through your spine as Wild clicked about the screen, concentrated solely on his task.

Ah yes, you had almost forgotten, after a very busy day involving very homicidal Chuchus and exploring not even a ⅓ of the beauty that was eastern Hyrule, it was easy to let slip the current flow of magic running through your veins, pulling off the glove Hyrule had gifted you to see the mark of the Sheikah burned into the back of your hand, your eyelid twitching as you registered the tingle of the same power currently residing in it.

“Are you well?” Wild’s voice snapped you from your daze, glove returning to its rightful place as he narrowed his eyes. “Does it hurt?”

“No, no, I just- I think it’s reacting to the slate.”

He hesitated. “...If that is the case-”

“Don’t back out now, you’ve got me bouncing on my toes you’re not allowed to do that.” Nudging him slightly with your shoulder, you ignored the ominous whispers of the slate in favour of sending him a smile, warm and inviting that prompted a shaky one of his own. “Let’s do this! I wanna see what you wanted to show me.”

“...Okay” He nodded, more to himself. “Yes, let’s do this.”

There was a click of a button.

Then the world around you began to dematerialise- or rather, you began to fade, neon blue surrounding you with the whispers growing in volume around you. They weren’t screams, no, still hushed and mixed around you, but they were certainly deafening for the few moments whatever this was- lasted, your feet making contact with the solid ground as your surroundings began to phase in, the entirety of your body lacking energy which only led you to stumble right into Wild’s arms, his grip gentle yet firm when he tugged you to stand upright, face to face and meeting eyes.

“How do you feel?”

You blinked, then looked away. “Uh, pretty sure my arse is in my throat-”

The sudden look of horror flashing over his face made you panic, hands coming to hold his shoulders as you stumbled out reassurances.

“I’m taking the piss! I’m alright! I’m just a bit shaky and deaf at the moment, that’s all!”

“Are you sure-”

“Positive!”

Another doubtful second passed before he finally relaxed, taking in the deepest of breaths.

“So where are we?”

His smile was kind as merely turned you around, your mouth dropping in sheer awe at the scene.

The Necluda région was certainly a sight to behold from atop the hillside where the village of Hateno sat, but standing here, atop Dueling Peaks summit it was nothing compared to what you were seeing now. Green, green, green- it was everywhere. Grass was all over the land no matter where you looked, the many smaller mountains stood proud over the fields, and the clouds cast over the land like a blanket.

You weren’t reduced to just the sights of Necluda this time, however.

Turning to your left, you spotted Sheikah towers leading up to the greatness that was Death Mountain, the volcano’s deadly glow of lava highlighting the intimidating cracks along its surface from its mighty eruption thousands upon thousands of years ago. A familiar sight of two divine beasts in the distance made you grin, a whisper of their names falling from your lips. 

“Vah Ruta... Vah Rudania…”

Excitement knew no bounds as you hopped off the platform of Shee Vaneer shrine, to look upon the beauty of Hyrule fields, Hyrule Castle free of its plague of malice and a beautiful, broken beacon to the centre of the kingdom. Further beyond you could just spot the nest of the Rito with their protector standing tall on its perch above its found home.

“Vah Medoh.”

Then you sprinted to the opposite side, casting your amazement from the scene of the Bridge of Hylia over the Goddess’ great lake, the risen land of the Great Plateau just a few miles following behind and just beyond that the Canons that hid the sands of the Gerudo région, her greatness watching over the kingdom with what you knew was a gaze filled with a pride that was older than most.

“Vah Naboris! Oh my God, this- this is amazing-” Your eyes bulged when you noticed a fiery sea glass blue glow from a mountain top in the distance. “That’s gotta be Satori Mountain! I-”

“You’re about to miss the best part.” Wild’s chuckle was teasing as he grabbed your shoulder, gently motioning you to turn back to the direction of Necluda, pointing at Mount Lanayru. “I told you I’d show you some of the best spots in Hyrule, didn’t I? Well, you must see the beauty that accompanies it.”

Beyond the great land formation, sat the horizon and with it the rising sun, the light slowly pouring over the scenery and bathing it in its warm, orange glow. It was truly beautiful, this entire shot was incredibly beautiful and you couldn’t help the blubbery laugh that fell from your lips, arm running over your eyes to stop the amazed tears from running down your face.

Then suddenly you were hit with the pressure of it all. Kidnapped from your home and dropped in a land that shouldn’t exist, you met the heroes of Hyrule who weren’t exactly happy to meet you as you were to meet them, threatened by one, was painfully branded by Sheikah magic, had to walk for 10 hours, lost a fight to something as pathetic as a Chuchu-

And now you were watching the most beautiful sunset you’d ever seen.

You wished you could show your friends this.

“(Name)?”

You wished you could show your mum this.

“Are you alright?”

You wished you weren’t feeling everything so much at once.

“Hey! Can you hear me?”

You wanted to scream.

So with a deep, shaky breath- 

You did just that.

You screamed. You screamed, hard and loud and you made sure to place every pesky little emotion that had washed over you for the past three days into the yell, feeling the suffocating pressure slowly fade as you let it all out. It was long, dragging out for a total of 10 seconds before you choked on a voice crack and coughed into the open air, covering your mouth with your elbow as you leaned over while trying to catch your breath.

“What- What in Hylia’s name was that!?” The Wild Hero yelped after a moment, staring at your hunched over figure with widened eyes. “Why did you scream-”

Quickly, you turned, grabbing at his hand and catching his eyes as you finally spoke, still huffing out a storm from your very much needed vent wail. “Scream with me.”

“Wh-”

“Don’t think.” You squeezed his scarred digits gently, running your thumb over the callous skin with a softness he hadn’t experienced since-...ever. He couldn’t remember such a time when someone had treated him with such a kind touch. “Just scream with me. Let it all out- no one would hear it from up here anyway- what do you say?”

Wild’s brows furrowed in contemplation. “But-”

Your smile soothed his worries. “I’ll hold your hand, so you don’t have to worry.”

"But why do you want me to scream?" 

"Link, I just screamed over stuff that’s happened over the past 3 days,” You laughed, it was melancholic and heavy, but your expression stayed light. “I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel- so come on! Let it all out!”

“....You’ll do it also?”

“I’ll even take the breath with you!”

Stuck between a rock and a hard place- no. No, he wasn’t. You were giving him an option, not trying to push him into a scenario he may have not wanted to put himself in. Gazing upon him with kindness, grip encouraging but loose, allowing him a way out if he really didn’t want this.

Wild really began to understand the Traveller’s protective nature over you, he really did because he in a way felt it too. You weren’t like a lot of people he had met during the years of his reemergence- the people saw him as a warrior, the one to cut down the malice that Ganon had cursed over his home, purging safety from the innocent and leaving the once prestige Hyrule into ruin. The hero was supposed to be strong, he was meant to be brave- and that was all. Obedient to a T. 

But that wasn’t you, was it?

No, he saw how softly you looked at them all- with a fondness of a friend who wanted only good things for them after a lifetime of struggle and anguish. You talked to them as if they were any other person, even with those starstruck eyes you still joked about with them, sent them cheek and remained, what he guessed was, your normal self even in the presence of ‘Hyrule’s Greatest Heroes!’. Hell, your quick to blossom relationship with the Sailor was hilarious in itself, no restraint held as you tripped one another about or hurled insults only to giggle to yourselves after.

Usually, the first reaction to a hero was for someone to ask about their journeys, their adventures- their hardships. You simply threw what they had come to perceive as the social norms out the window and continued on without even a curious brow their way.

There weren’t many of you in Hyrule- in any of the Hyrules and he wasn’t about to lose you.

You both faced the rising sun.

You took in your breath once again- the man followed suit.

Then, without a moment of hesitance-

You both screamed.

-----

“Your heart sings of a tale of sadness, dear hero.”

From atop the great heights of Dueling Peaks, the Hero of the Wild snapped out of his daze. His eyes, which had been focused on the swirling malice storm surrounding the great towers of Hyrule Castle, pulling away to look upon the hanging blue skies, watching the clouds fly by silently.

“I’m not sad.” He responded after a moment, quiet and restrained. 

You ignored the comment.

“I get it, you know? They dropped bricks on your legs and then told you to start running- why wouldn’t you be sad? Be angry? Why wouldn’t you want to be mad at the whole world?”

His hands tightened into fists at his sides, voice holding warning. “(Name).”

“You want it all to stop, don’t you? The fighting, the malice- you hate hearing the mere word of Ganon but more importantly you hate how everyone keeps mentioning your life 100 years ago-”

“SHUT UP!”

He didn’t need to be told how he felt, he didn’t need to be told who he fucking was. Wild knew who he was! He knew what he wanted to be! But people kept pushing this narrative onto him- this life! He didn’t want to be the hero anymore! He wanted to appreciate the life around him, the beauty of it all! But he couldn’t do that with all this pressure!

“...Scream.”

Through his huffs, he narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What-”

“Scream, let it all out.”

“I’m not gonna-”

“Stop thinking for once, Link! Just do what you need to do! Yell! Cry! Curse! Do it all until your voice is hoarse! Not a soul will hear it from above the clouds! You. Need. This. Now scream.”

He hesitated.

You didn’t.

“For the love of the Goddesses- SCREAM YOU FUCKING FOOL!”

The man flinched at your authoritative tone, eyes widening at the sound of the pure pleading accompanying it before you were speaking again.

“I’ll do it with you!” You bargained, “Just let. It. Out!”

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds-

The Hero felt his chest expand with the deep breath he took, your own gasp following in suit as he stood to his full height, looking down at the sight of Ganon’s Domain with nothing but a burning hatred in his eyes, fists once again tightening when finally he opened his mouth.

And along with him, you both screamed until you could scream no longer.

-----

“-ild? Wild!?”

You were holding him by the cheeks when he finally phased back in, face way closer than it should have been as you looked over his form carefully, your mouth moving at a speed, way too fast most could comprehend- but he did.

Of course, he did, he had known that frantic ramble for as long as he could remember.

And by the Goddess had he missed it so.

“You there!?” You yelped when he finally sighed, his glazed eyes returning to their usual beautiful shade with a few blinks as you brought him close, hugging him with the strength almost mustered from a Moblin while you rocked him side to side. “Oh God, don’t scare me like that-”

A choke fell from your mouth when the hero hugged you back two times as strong, almost lifting you from how close he had dragged you to his form. There was no space between your bodies, you were being squeezed with everything he had, held close like it had been lifetimes since he had last seen you. Face buried into your neck, you shivered at his warm breaths before you patted gently at his back, wheezing.

“Are…you…okay?”

A sob.

There was a sob, a heavy sob, one that made your heart clench and your own eyes water from the pure emotion behind his next words.

“You came back.”

That was all you needed to hear before the smile grew taunt on your face and the hug was returned just as fondly as it was given.

__________

Tags: @nihilistic-wobbufet (IT IS STILL NOT TAGGING PROPERLY)

[ya-so-im-here]

Deathday [Larry x Ahkmenrah]

Writer: Me, I have it published under my Wattpad account TheNinjaOfCake22

Fandom: Night at the Museum

Ship: Larry Daley x Ahkmenrah

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/1122938301-deathday-larry-x-ahkmenrah-one-shot-deathday/page/6

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The sun had set and on queue Larry Daley felt the life return to the exhibits around him, changing from still wax figures to living people he called family.

Jed and Octavius spent little to know time rushing down from their separate exhibits towards the main area along with more of their friends and used the computer, it was something they had loved since Larry showed them how it worked.

Teddy rode off as usual to pick up Sacajawea from her room with Louis and Clark who since the glass had broke had an open exhibit allowing Teddy and Sacajawea to spend every night together.

Attila was seen with Dexter the two were with the rest of the Huns by Rexie. All had seemed right and normal like every night till Larry realized the one person he was always excited to see was missing from the usual night commotion.

Ahkmenrah wasn't there.

As predictable as it may seem, everyone always gathered in the main area and would spread out throughout the night, everyone would get together. Especially Ahkmenrah he was never late.

Fear and a dreading feeling began to form in Larry's stomach as he doubled and tripled check for the pharaoh, but he wasn't there.

A nagging feeling whispered in his head saying something was wrong as he began to make his way up the stairs. 'He's probably talking to someone or taking his time. There is no need to worry' he told himself but he continued on his way to Ahkmenrah's sarcophagus.

"Ahkmenrah?!" Larry called out as he made his way down the hall and towards the doorway to the pharaoh's chamber.

But there was no reply, so he called out again... no reply. He told the panicking feeling to go away he had just seen him last night and all was alright. Perhaps he's somewhere in the museum talking with the others.

'There is no need to worry'

Nonetheless he called out once more as he turned the corner and entered the Egyptian's room. "Ahkmenrah?!"

Larry walked straight to the display where his sarcophagus lay in the center of the back of the room right before the Tablet of Ahkmenrah.

Upon approach Larry looked within and saw the still body of Ahkmenrah, and instantly his heart stopped out of fear.

He reached out his hand and placed it on the pharaoh's shoulder and instantly he opened his eyes meeting Larry's worried gaze.

Larry exhaled softly seeing his friend all right and smiled lightly, but as he examined him closer he realized how still he was. He wasn't moving, didn't even smile when Larry came up and Ahkmenrah always smiled when Larry approached.

     "Hey are you alright?" He asked nervously as he kept his hand on Ahk's shoulder.

Ahkmenrah's jaw clenched and squinted lightly before he attempted a smile that failed to form. Now he definitely had something to worry about, Ahk went to open his mouth ad gasped sharply for air. "Larry" he whispered softly but before he could finish his sentence Larry had padded his shoulder and stood up straight.

"I'll be right back, okay? One moment" and he started out of the room as he heard another attempted whisper "Larry" but he was already in search for Teddy, Teddy would have answers.

Larry went turning corners quickly but not trying to cause any worry, even though he never seemed so scared before. 'Was the tablet failing?' the thought made his stomach drop, how could he live without them? they're his family and to live without Ahk, it just wasn't possible.

Bounding around a corner he noticed the swish of Texas' tail as Teddy rounded another corner, Larry just barely missing him. With a quick sprint the nightguard turned the corner and there was Teddy and Sacajawea riding Texas as they tended to do each night.

"Teddy!" Larry shouted out catching the past president's attention as well as Sacajawea's. "Something's wrong with Ahkmenrah, he's not moving and won't say anything" granted he said his name, but nothing to explain the situation. Teddy's cheerful smile fell as Sacajawea looked down both of them full of knowing.

"It's June 21st" mumbled Teddy in sorrow Wea nodded confirming his statement.

"What does that have to do with anything? What does that mean?" Larry asked looking between the two for answers. Texas turned around so that Teddy and Wea faced the night guard as they explained.

"Well Laurence, while most people marked their calender's of the day of their birth, we here mark our calender's of the day of our death." He paused a moment allowing Larry to comprehend what was being said "Today my boy, is June 21st the day our dear pharaoh died all those years ago, by the hands of none other then his own brother Kahmunrah." Teddy exhaled softly before he continued "On each of our own Deathday's we experience our deaths all over again as though it's the first time. But unlike before when death swept us away from the pain, we experience it all night, until morning when we turn back." finished explaining Teddy, who's mind had traveled to the reminder of his own death day.

Larry stood there in silence comprehending all he had heard, how had he not known about Deathday's surely someone had to have had their deathday while he was there, was he just oblivious to it? "Is there anything that can be done to help?' he asked hoping the answer was yes.

"The pain of death lasts all night nothing can stop it till the day is done, what we usually do is keep each other company on those days, no matter how one died no one should go through it again alone." Sacajawea placed her hand into Teddy's clasping is gently remembering nights she helped him on his Deathday and how he was there for her on her deathday.

Larry nodded "Alright then I'll do that..." he began to walk off before he stopped and turned back to the couple on the horse. "Teddy can you..." but before he could finish the 26th president interrupted him

"Don't worry my boy, all will be taken care of. I'll be seeing you tomorrow night" Teddy tipped his hat as they departed on their way once more and Larry began back to Ahk already feeling awful for being gone this long.

Lying in his sarcophagus Ahkmenrah was going through the pain and experience of being slashed into pieces just as he had 4,000 years ago. It was the worst feeling he had ever felt in his live and death, for a fleeting moment he tried to ignore the pain when he saw Larry's concerned and worried face he attempted to smile but the pain was too much. Then he was gone leaving him alone, just as he had been for fifty-four years.

The memories haunted him every day, the fear that when night falls he would go to rise and leave his tomb but be locked in just like before and no one would let him out, that he would once again be forever trapped, and utterly alone.

He could hear them all, the old night guards talking as they passed the hall never daring to enter his room and free him no matter how hard and long he screamed. He would shake and scream hoping just hoping someone would let him out anyone at all.

Then there was something different the old voices of the night guards were replaced with one young voice, and soon the entire museum was truly alive. He could hear them walking around, doing their own thing, talking to one another.

He was angry with himself when he dared let his hopes rise that perhaps the new night guard would let him out. Nights past and nothing no one freed him, he even heard another say he would never get out.

Like before his hopes were crushed, but he screamed nonetheless he wouldn't give up. Just the slightest chance someone might take pity on him and let him go, was all he held onto.

Then it happened he heard the night guard and he was coming towards him, Ahkmenrah screamed. Screamed as loud as he could he wanted out, please he begged let this be the moment he'd be free.

When he heard the sound of the locks being removed he never felt so excited in all his life. As soon as the last lock was gone he pushed with all his strength forcing the lid of his sarcophagus to fly through the air and hit the wall.

He was free.

And there standing before him, the one who let him out of his afterlife... the new night guard, Larry Daley set him free.

He couldn't well aware explain it, but as soon as he looked upon Larry, something was different. The feeling only grew the longer they were together, on mini adventures or just hanging about in the museum.

Larry Daley was different and Ahkmenrah couldn't help but smile whenever he was near. Now he had wished more then ever he was with him now, just the split second he was and Ahkmenrah wanted to smile even though the pain hurt too much to do so.

His jaw clenched as he felt another sharp pain which over the years he distinguished as a stab wound.

Ahkmenrah closed his eyes out of pain, holding back a cry. As the night went went, it would feel worse it always did. It got to the point he would be choking on his own blood from all the wounds.

"Ahkmenrah?" The pharaoh opened his eyes once more and by his side once again was Larry. His face of concern was still there but so was a face of comfort. As though on queue upon seeing him Ahk had the instinct to smile at him like he always did, even if it hurt too much to actually do so.

Larry placed one had on Ahk's shoulder and the other on his hand, he could feel the cold sweats that covered the pharaoh's body. "It's okay, I'm here for you" the night guard stated.

Ahkmenrah attempted to open his mouth to protest, as night guard Larry had a job to do; but before he could get any words out he was interrupted.

"Don't worry, Teddy told me all about deathday just know that I'm here for you all night " whispered Larry affectionately. His eyes were gentle and while concern was still there, comfort and kindness was the expression he wore on his face so evidently. Ahk closed his eyes for a second gathering his strength before attempting to speak again.

"Larry..." he mumbled meekly "I'm fine. You have...a job..." he gasped sharply feeling the pain of another stab wound pierce through him. He still remembered the day his brother betrayed him, the pain of death seemed less then the pain of betrayal and heart break.

"Teddy has it all under control, tonight I'm here with you. You shouldn't have too experience this alone, I won't allow it" Ahkmenrah gently shook his head to the best of his ability.

"I've done this alone... for fifty-four years." he paused a moment exhaling "I'm used to it... at this point..." he finished gently. He didn't mean it as a martyr, but it was true he'd experienced his deathday alone in his sarcophagus for years.

Larry shook his shoulder gently catching the pharaoh's attention once more "Well, I'm here to end that streak" he responded kindly. Even though it hurt Ahkmenrah smiled, it was much weaker then his usually bright and vibrant smile that Larry loved so much, but he still smiled and Larry loved it nonetheless.

Ahk was at most times unable to speak other then a few words here and there, making conversation light with little responses from Ahkemenrah mostly leaving it up to Larry. The conversations were small topics, but it helped keep Ahk distracted...mostly. The feeling of being stabbed over and over again, the feeling gets worse with each stab, at this point he knew when and where each stab would appear; it was ingrained into his memory.

But this night was different and more special then Larry probably knew, Ahk would find himself forgetting the next wound which left him unexpected of the jolt of pain, but there's something worse and more painful when one is expecting the pain then when it's unexpected.

"I keep telling Erica that I have moved on and that I'm not still clinging to our marriage, but she doesn't believe me" said Larry mildly annoyed "Just this weekend when I went to pick up Nicky, she brought it up all over again, I honestly thought she was done." he shook his head.

Ahk eyed him closely before attempting a mumble "What was the...issue?" he breathed out lightly

"She said 'How do I know you moved on when you haven't dated anyone since the marriage' she just kept saying 'when was last you have an actual relationship with someone other then me' I... I don't know. I'm probably overreacting, so what if I haven't had a relationship since her. She was the once who decided to leave first no wonder she got remarried first." Larry exhaled sharply attempting to release all the negative energy. Then he turned down and looked at Ahkmenrah who was watching him intently and Larry couldn't help but notice his cheeks flush.

"I'm sorry..." he stumbled out "I'm rambling, you don't want to hear this" he went to stand up to calm his nerves, but his face seemed to be determined to remain flushed as the pharaoh made direct eye contact with the night guard, neither daring to break it.

Larry felt the heat from Ahk's hand grab his, it was comforting but it also felt different from the way Larry had been holding his. Though Larry was nervous to admit it, it felt the way that Erica would hold his hand back when they were in "love". But it also didn't feel the same, it felt more personal. Oh what was he doing, Ahkmenrah was a pharaoh, royalty he didn't feel the same way as Larry.

Hell. Larry wasn't sure what it was he was feeling, though he had to admit it would explain a lot about their relationship. Could he... could Larry Daley be in love with Ahkmenrah?

He looked at the pharaoh's gaze that held so tightly and Larry knew... He loved him.

Though weak Ahk held tight the best he could to Larry Daley's hand, listening to his conversation about Erica, well... it kept him attentive. Larry never did mention anyone romantically in all the time they knew each other and Ahkmenrah had to admit he always hoped he was the reason Larry never was with anyone else.

All the moments and time they spent together, hell back to when they first met. Larry was the first person to release him from his sarcophagus, he trusted him and they went on the journey to save his tablet. Maybe he was just overthinking everything, but Ahkmenrah knew he loved Larry Daley, he was worried that it wasn't both ways.

"Sometimes...love is hard to understand" rasped out Ahk still holding to Larry's gaze as well as his hand "Maybe, not all love..." he paused, maybe he shouldn't continue if he did the night guard was bound to understand his intentions. He could pretend to be in pain and escape the atmosphere he created, but as he looked at Larry he didn't think "Maybe, not all love...is conventional" he saw a flicker in Larry's eyes, he didn't know what it meant but it made Ahk's heart bound.

Larry was not sure what he was about to do, but he was going to do something. Not only did he fully realize he in fact did love Ahkmenrah, but that he felt the same about him! Larry's heart felt as though he was pounding out of his chest, he had to do something as a response, he was going to do something...

The pharaoh broke eye contact as he shut his eyes tight in pure pain, the night had been getting on and it was nearing it's end which meant the true, awful, agonizing pain was beginning. The final round of stab wounds impeded its way into his body "Slashed to pieces" just like on that night all those years ago. Ahkmenrah gasped out in pure agony breaking the ere about them, as the young Pharaoh coughed out and like every Deathday, he choked on his own blood.

It was the worse sound Larry had ever heard in his life, one second the two were exploring their hearts and the next the man he loved was gasping out and choking on his own blood. The sound of the blood stuck in his throat echoed throughout the chamber, both statues of Anubis looked over at their Pharaoh but they knew there was nothing to do but wait till morning.

Larry knelt down closer to Ahkmenrah and held his hand tightly "It's okay, we're almost to morning then this will all be over." comforted the night guard, he held tight to the pharaoh's hand holding it in both of his, he brought the hand to his face and kissed his knuckles gently "I'm here with you, okay? You're not in this alone, I'm right here" soothed Larry as he watched the scene before him.

Ahkmenrah was entirely loss to the pain, he heard Larry's words but there was no way he would respond, he couldn't smile back. His eyes would open and close with each other gasp for air as his lungs filled with blood. His hand squeezed tight to Larry's as it was the only thing he could do as memories of the night returned.

Kamunrah stood before him, knife in hand as he stabbed, slashed, and cut into his body. There was no mercy, no regret, nor sorrow as he stabbed him seventy-three times. Tears filled Ahkmenrah's eyes from the pain of death and from the pain of brotherly betrayal, his tears formed then now as Larry held his hand. He gasped out as tears fell down his cheeks. How desperately he tried to grasp air but every gasp and attempt he made lead only to the drowning in his lungs. The Anubis statues moved retaking their proper form as Ahk gasped out once more then all was still.

The sun had risen and all went back to sleep, Ahkmenrah's eyes had closed slowly as he turned back into a mummy right before Larry's own eyes just reminding him what happens every night as the sun rises. Larry closed up the sarcophagus, leaving the pharaoh to rest till night. The image of Ahkmenrah in such pain etched into his brain, the gasp for air lingered in his ears as he made his way towards the exit of the chamber. Larry looked back behind him at the now resting sarcophagus then left the chamber.

The museum was asleep as though the night before it wasn't full of vibrant and energetic life, soon people would be coming in starting their jobs and opening the museum to the public. The night guard walked throughout the museum making sure everything went well that night, that all were in place and ready in the morning.

Like Teddy said all was taken care of. Larry went to the locker and hung up his coat and flashlight he would be back again tonight, but he felt he couldn't wait. All he could think of was Ahkmenrah, the pharaoh had completely taken over his brain, but he needed to head home try to catch a couple of hours of sleep before his next shift.

The day went by what seemed much slower then the night did, even though he slept for several hours he still found himself waiting and it felt too long of a wait. He couldn't help himself Larry wanted to see Ahk, so he arrived a bit early for his shift.

Since there was still roughly an hour before he would come in Larry found himself wandering the halls and rooms of the museum, he knew them like the back of his hand at this point. He knew who was supposed to be where, just how many steps it took to get to the room over. These exhibits were his friends and seeing them in the morning hours when they were still and asleep he couldn't help but feel lonely.

Too anyone else they were just exhibits of the past, but to Larry they were his family and friends and how he wished he could see them not only at night, but that he could leave the museum and hang out with them, but he knew that wasn't possible.

"Aren't we early tonight" stated Dr. McPhee rolling on the balls of his feet, catching Larry's attention.

"Ya I bit, nothing else to do, thought I'd just look around" responded Larry gesturing towards Sacajawea's exhibit as she stood next to Louis and Clark.

"Don't you just 'look around' all night?" asked McPhee

"Yep" Larry nodded "Yes I do"

McPhee nodded slowly, looked about him at the exhibits then back to Larry. "Well, we're beginning to close up so feel free to get your shift started" he finished before leaving the room, as he himself was ready to go home for the night, the same way Larry felt he was going home for the night.

Larry went back to his locker grabbing his coat and flashlight, but instead of going to the front entrance of the museum he made his way straight to the tomb of Ahkmenrah, walked past the Anubis statues and stood near sarcophagus and there he waited.

It didn't feel like a particularly long wait, for it wasn't long before he heard creaking too his right. He turned his head to look at the owner of the noise and he watched as the Anubis statues woke from their sleep, one even yawning like that of a jackal before both turned their large heads and faced Larry; eyeing him closely. They knew he had been there even in sleep they guarding the pharaoh, they didn't attack the night guard anymore like how they used too, but they still kept an eye on him whenever he was near.

Larry had to admit he was glad that the Anubis were too large to leave the chamber otherwise he knew they would follow Ahk around the entire museum and Larry wouldn't dare getting as close as he tended to with the Pharaoh with the two watching him at all times.

His thoughts were soon interrupted as he heard another creak, one of gold sliding against gold. Larry quickly turned his attention away from the statues and towards the sarcophagus instead, he went to go and help open it up, but within seconds sitting straight up from the resting place was Ahkmenrah in all his glory and beauty. Larry had to admit, Ahkmenrah was possibly the most beautiful man in the world and the world didn't even know that.

Ahk looked over at Larry already knowing or expecting the night guard to be there, Larry didn't know which. Rising from his sarcophagus Ahkmenrah approached Larry just as he did every night not a sign showing what he had been through the previous night.

"If I hadn't seen it myself last night I wouldn't have known just what it was you had gone through" Larry laughed lightly as Ahk approached him with his signature smile Larry was so fond of.

"Thank you" stated Ahk locking eyes with Larry just as they had done last night "I've always had those nights alone, I'm very thankful that you were there. You have no idea what it meant to me" neither broke eye contact, both reading each other. They both shared the fear that perhaps all they imaged last night was false and they didn't truly see each other the way they hoped.

"You should have told me sooner, I would have been by your side in seconds" both hearts were pounding within their chests, hands clammed from nerves as they waited on who would be the first to make a move towards what they both wanted.

"I didn't know if you wanted to be by my side" confessed Ahk

Larry laughed lightly as a broad smile crossed his face "Your side is the only one I want to be by" he confessed.

Ahkmenrah stepped forward much closer now, closer then they had ever been before they were nearly touching. Touching chests, noses, lips...

"And I by yours" stated Ahk as the two gently crossed the distance and kissed lightly, it was sweet and mildly hesitant as both were nervous, but when they pulled back they were both smiling fools. "I've waited for this moment for quite awhile" chuckled Ahk as he cupped a hand on Larry's cheek.

Larry leaned into his hand as their foreheads touched and pressed together, both nearing to kiss once again.

"Gigantor!" Larry closed his eyes lightly then looked down at the origin of the voice, Jed was down below on the ground next to Octavius. "That was the most peck of a kiss I've ever seen!" Larry's cheeks grew flushed, as Ahkmenrah laughed lightly.

"You can do better Larry" encouraged Octavius

"Ya, you can! The Pharaoh deserves better!" shouted out Jed giving Ahk a thumbs up "Here Gigantor like this!" Jed grabbed hold of Octavius giving him a deep and passionate kiss before pulling away and looked back up at Larry "See!?" he shouted up.

"Yes Larry, like that" teased Ahkmenrah with a smile that spread across his whole face.

"Okay I think I get it, I'll do better." responded Larry sarcastically as Ahk grabbed his cheek once more and kissed him, deeper and more passionately then they did the first time and when they pulled apart both were grinning, mildly short of breath.

"Much better" breathed out Ahkmenrah smiling fondly at Larry still cupping his face in his hand.

As I’ve said recently I’ve found myself back into this ship and they will not leave my mind so I had to write this fic, especially after I found the headcanon about everyone reliving their deaths every year. it just came together so well.

[thefanficmonster]

Sweet Tooth

Corpse Husband x Asian Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Tooth-rotting (😉) Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse isn’t one to have a big preference or craving for sweet, sugary treats. In fact, he’d even go as far as to say he’s not at all a fan of candy. Well, much to his yet to be known delight, his partner Y/N takes that as a personal challenge.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your lovely request! So sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is and I hope you come across it and read it despite the long time that’s passed. If you do, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤ 

“Hey guys! Welcome back to my channel!“ Y/N gives the camera a wave and blows it a quick kiss with their lips stretched in a delighted grin. They clap their hands together, turning to look at their guest who’s sitting in a chair on their right, his face covered with a sticker in the final cut of the video that their viewers have the opportunity of watching. “Ok, before we address the elephant in the room, I’m gonna ask the elephant himself not to move his head too much cause this is already gonna take a long time to edit, the last thing I need is to animate that sticker over your face to follow your movement.“

“Got it, babe.“ A deep voice replies obediently, earning an approving hum in response. However, just as Y/N’s about to turn to face the camera again, the mysterious - ok, not THAT mysterious - guest leans down and plants a kiss on their cheek.

“Brat!“ They squeal as they turn to glare at the person with narrowed eyes. He doesn’t appear bothered at all, chuckling as he wraps his arms around them in an attempt to soften them up. Sadly, his tries fall through as they proceed to ignore his affection instead of reciprocating it for the sake of being petty, “Everyone, this is my boyfriend Corpse.“

“Hello, I am hand.“ Corpse says, slowly waving his hand at the camera, “I shall be your entertainment tonight.“

“Oh this is no entertainment, I have a point to prove here.“ Y/N argues, breaking free from his arms before they bend down to pick up one of the two boxes that are resting by their feet. “You see, Corpse and I got in a bit of a scrap last night...“ they trail off, distracted by the contents of the box that’s now resting on their lap.

“I didn’t think me admitting to not liking sweet stuff would provoke such a dramatic reaction from Y/N but here we are.“ He interferes, lifting a finger in the air as though that will help him be heard better or would protect him in case his partner decided to go off at him.

Y/N just ignores his input yet again, continuing to address the camera, aka their audience, “So as you guys may or may not know, my mom’s Korean and my dad’s Japanese. Since they live in their respective countries for work purposes, that means I’m always one phone call - and a little bit of a wait - away from Korean and Japanese snacks at all times. I’m a person who constantly has a snack by their side so you can bet I make that phone call often. However, about a week ago, I made that call specifically for candy, the brands I was obsessed with as a kid. I don’t know what came over me but I think it was my fortuneteller sense kicking in because this mister over here decided to CASUALLY bring up the fact that he doesn’t like candy.” They turn to glare at him before continuing, “Anyways, so luckily, the package arrived only recently so I haven’t had the time to tear open all the candy and eat it all by myself as I was planning to. That being said, today I’ll be in introducing Corpse to the world of Japanese and Korean candy - a tighter circle of it, to be specific: the candy I grew up with.” They finally turn to Corpse again, the look on their face significantly different and a lot more pleasant compared to the one they gave him a bit ago. “So, how are you feeling, babe? Are you excited?”

Although the man’s face is blocked to the viewers, Y/N can still see him and they are pretty damn close to bursting out in a fit of laughter.  “I don’t know how to feel, actually. I know you have peculiar taste so it’s either gonna be a fun experience or I’m gonna very displeased with what you’ll have me try.“

Y/N rolls their eyes, “Trust me, you won’t be.” They put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, only half humoring his nervousness, “You’ll only be trying six on camera, but my parents sent a ton more which you’ll be able to try later, ok? It was really hard for me to pick only six favorites by I don’t need this video crossing the twenty minute mark.”

With a heavy-hearted sigh, Corpse finally brings himself to rip the band-aid off and get this adventure started. “Ok cool, but don’t surprise me with anything, please. Show me what you had in mind to have me try so I can, you know, prepare myself.”

Y/N, who was busy taking out packets of candy just a moment ago suddenly stops in their movements to give him a look of disbelief, “You know none of these are poisonous, right? Like, I’m not trying to kill you or anything. There’s no cyanide, no rat poison...”

His laughter cuts them off, wrapping his arm around them and pulling them closer again, “I’m messing with you, babe. What you got for me?” He says, placing a quick kiss to their temple while sneaking a peek at the packaging of the candies they’re holding right now.

Wiggling a little looser in his grip, they first show him the three items before turning them to the camera, “These are from my mom, she sent them from Korea and they are triggering a massive wave of nostalgia right now, not gonna lie.” They giggle, adjusting the brightness a little so the products can be seen properly, “Ok so first we have the long biscuit sticks that come in many flavors but I asked for my favorite - green tea flavored, that is. Then we have Pumpkin Monaca which are probably one of my most favorite sweet treats of all time. I think you’re gonna really like them. And lastly from Korea we have these butter waffles which I used to eat for breakfast when I was running late for school - which happened often.”

Corpse snorts, “That doesn’t surprise me.”

His remark is overlooked as Y/N continues, now taking out three packets from the other package, “Now we’re moving on to my dad’s box. He didn’t disappoint either: we have soda-flavored jelly beans; Black Thunder chocolate bars which you’re only gonna steal one of because the rest are MINE; and last but definitely not least we have some classic milk candies.” Setting those down as well, they turn to Corpse yet again, this time giving his a mischievous smile that’s promising him trouble, “So, Mr. Corpse Husband, after this introduction, are you prepared to have your entire opinion o sweet food changed? And more importantly, are you prepared to develop an addiction to these treats?”

Corpse nods confidently, “Oh, I’m very prepared, thank you. Let’s just get on with it.”

Needless to say: boy, was he not as prepared as he thought he was.

It goes without saying Y/N proved their point and took the win today.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse  @sunnyrae-cessh  @ladykxxx08  @meowiemari

[jackoshadows]

The ASoIaF fandom can be so frustrating sometimes.

It’s okay to admit that one doesn’t like this or that character. There’s nothing wrong in disliking a character.

I am pretty open on my blog about my indifference towards or dislike for Sansa because of her stans. I don’t make disclaimers about how much I love the character before proceeding to criticize Sansa. I am not a Sansa stan and that’s okay. My blog is a place for me to jot down my thoughts and celebrate characters, books and shows I do like. If you love Sansa as a character, block me, don’t follow me etc.

What’s obnoxiously annoying are the folks who claim to love all the characters the same and then give their ‘unbiased’ opinions which are held up as canon facts because they came from neutral book reader experts. To hell with that nonsense.

These posts reek of hypocrisy and double standards. It often tears down some characters while subtly propping up others - and it’s gobbled up by the wider fandom as unbiased interpretation of the text.

One example is pushing forth the notion that calling Arya pretty (Something that both her father and brother tell her she is in the books) is wrong, it’s sexualizing her, it’s okay for Arya to be ugly, she’s canonically not pretty because Cat/Sansa said so and no other interpretation is allowed etc. And then the same person who says all this celebrates Sansa’s beauty and ships her with a 27 year old man who falls in lust with Sansa.

Or when they say that the Arya-Lyanna (and Sansa/Lyanna parallels, because it’s always important to mention Sansa with respect to Lyanna even if said person claims to not care about Lyanna as a character) parallels are overrated and not important and they don’t care about Robert’s Rebellion characters but on their blogs there’s all these posts, fanarts and meta about Elia Martell - a Robert’s Rebellion character.

A so called book expert would note that GRRM has several characters outright compare Arya to Lyanna or mistake Lyanna for Arya in the books while Sansa has no such comparison. But no, the unbiased book expert thinks that the Arya-Lyanna and Sansa-Lyanna parallels are equivalent and are both overrated.That post just annoyed me excessively into writing this long ass rant post.

Why are these neutral, unbiased folks so interested in stripping away from Arya’s story?

In the books Jeyne Poole is masquerading as Arya Stark - but that story is only Jeyne’s, has nothing to do with Arya or Arya’s importance to the North. 

Arya is a strong warg, Nymeria and her wolf pack are a ‘Chekov’s wolf pack’ that GRRM has hung on the wall  -  Our expert opinion is that Direwolves are not all that important in the grand scheme of things.

Arya is pretty - why needlessly call Arya pretty, it adds nothing to Arya’s story and is all about sexualizing a child.

Arya-Lyanna parallels - why do we need these parallels, Arya is distinct and interesting without them.

These aspects are all important parts of the character’s story. There are so many very well written essays exploring these concepts with respect to Arya’s journey of self discovery in the books, the narrative significance of her parallels to Lyanna, her bond with Nymeria and her warging talents. For those who are interested, here are two bloggers who actually like Arya and have written about her character and character arc.

https://donewithwoodenteeth.tumblr.com/meta-masterlist

https://ashotofjac.tumblr.com/tagged/arya-stark

Some of these same people will rush to condemn any reading of the books that does not have Sansa wielding power at the end as being ‘Sansa hate’. But they will have no issues to undermine and devalue Arya’s actual book story, the relationships she has, the parallels she has, the skillsets she has, her appearance, her importance to the current story happening in the North.

There is a whole ass plot currently in the books of Northerners rallying for Arya Stark and preparing for battle against the Boltons for Arya Stark. But that’s not important because it’s actually Jeyne Poole and Arya’s story is about sailing off west of westeros.  But hey, Sansa will definitely go North and hold power and that’s like 100% happening because we are the unbiased book experts and we say it is so.

Or when all else fails - Arya is a Mary Sue, she’s a fantasy character, she’s a ‘strong female character’ because she fights with a sword, people like her because she’s a tomboy who fights. Sansa is realistic, Sansa is complex - but here are all the essays that basically transfer Arya’s complexity and story to Sansa - because it fits more with their fave, because these aspects would fit better with the traditionally feminine character even though they never tire of talking about how GRRM is deconstructing tropes. Because the trope deconstruction is only applied to Arya, Jon and Dany. Never Sansa.

And honestly, why are these people reading a high fantasy series if they hate fantasy and fantasy characters so much? We love Sansa because she’s so non-magical! Then go read non-fiction books. They also twist Jon, Arya and Dany into ‘fantasy’ characters - despite these characters going through some very real and human experiences. What’s fantasy about Arya’s experiences in war torn Westeros, Jon dealing with bigotry at the wall, Dany trying to rebuild Meereen, while dealing with famine, disease and insurgency?

Or how Jon and Dany getting any kind of happy ending or becoming rulers would be so boring, sweet, predictable, conforming to tropes, a happy ending etc. But Sansa getting love, romance, going home, becoming the Stark in Winterfell, getting her fairy tale ending - that’s totally what GRRM is going to do! No trope deconstruction there!  In may ways, Benioff and Weiss’ ending is not all that surprising -  Mad Queen Dany, Jon remaining a bastard with the freefolk, Sansa having power as a leader - are all popular theories among bnfs in the fandom. D&D wanting to wind up the show quickly with easily found fan theories is not that much of a stretch.

ASoIaF reddit is equally frustrating. Instead of Sansa stan bnfs on tumblr who pretend to like Arya and Dany while subtly undermining their story and importance, on Asoiaf reddit it’s Stannis stans who dislike Jon and Dany because these characters present a challenge to Stannis. The mere suggestion that Jon may play a role in the battle against Ramsay sends them into frothing at the mouth rage. They hate Jon, Jon is a Gary Sue because he dared advice Stannis - the greatest general ever - on Northern military strategy. Never mind that Jon grew up in the North and learned from Ned, how dare Jon Snow know more than Stannis! Unacceptable!

And I love Stannis Baratheon. I want Stannis to crush and defeat the Boltons. But unlike reddit dudebros, I can see that he is a secondary character, a tragic character who is most probably going to perish and Jon takes over because Jon Snow is a central protagonist in the story.

I feel it’s the same with Sansa. IMO, GRRM clearly doesn’t see Sansa in the same way as he does Arya, Jon, Dany, Tyrion and Bran. Whenever he is asked questions about the books, book plots, long term arcs, endings, age gaps etc it’s these characters he often brings up and references. It’s these characters who are important to him.

And that’s why there’s a lot of undermining and undervaluing of these character’s and their stories, them being described as fantasy characters, tropes, Mary Sues and Gary Sues, ableist rhetoric about Tyrion and Bran to undermine them.

I am damned certain that if it was Sansa who had all the parallels to Lyanna, or if she was the warg, or Jeyne Poole was impersonating her, this would all be ‘VERY IMPORTANT’ and on all the gifsets and essays. But she isn’t. So fandom bnfs are reduced to talking about how these aspects are not all that important anyway.

It’s like how this quote - ‘You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts’ turns up on gifsets every other day on the Arya tag but this quote - ‘Sansa could never understand how two sisters, born only two years apart, could be so different. It would have been easier of Arya had been a bastard, like her half brother Jon. And Jon’s mother had been common, or so people whispered’ very rarely does and will not get reblogged when it does.

Or when Sansa sees Joffrey trying to kill Arya and sides with Joffrey or when Sansa throws Arya under the bus and tells the Lannisters that it’s Arya who is the traitor - just sisters being sisters y’all!

It’s all about maintaining a certain narrative about Sansa - and when others point out her actual relationship with Arya in the books, we are accused of hating and wanting Sansa dead and how we should be criticizing Tywin and the Mountain instead. This is nonsensical whataboutism and ignores that people talk about  these aspects of the books because sometimes bullying, getting mocked for one’s appearance, abuse and neglect from parental figures etc. can resonate with certain readers unlike getting one’s head smashed in by Frankenstein.

At the end of the day, I wish these people would be honest about the characters they like and relate to. We are all biased. That’s why our opinions and interpretations are subjective. There’s nothing wrong in saying, hey, I like Sansa more than Arya or Dany, I relate to her character more.

I relate to Jon Snow a lot, I see things from his POV, I would disagree with the characters who disagree with Jon,  I enjoy his story at the Wall and the North. My interpretations of the text are therefore colored by my bias towards Jon. 

For others, it’s Dany or Sansa or Arya or Tyrion or Jaime. And that’s okay because these are fictional characters and liking one more than the other is not going to earn anyone woke points and lead to women’s rights.

And finally, there’s nothing edgy or cool about disparaging the central protagonists of a high fantasy series as being fantasy characters - go read other books if one is not into fantasy.

[incorrectlumityquotes]

Why Amity fell for Luz: A Theory

Watching all the episodes of The Owl House and reviewing them brought back a lot of thoughts and feelings that I maybe forgot about. We all ship things and sometimes we do it for fun; sometimes for deeper reasons. I just started lumity because it reminded me of Diana & Akko from Little Witch Academia. I loved that show so much that I wanted more, and I thought it would be cool if Luz & Amity did something similar. I had no idea that it was going to go beyond that, so DAMN. To quote a talking science wolf, “For years we ask how, but we should ask why.” I mean, we saw how. But why? Well I can take a guess.

If we’re are going to start anywhere it’s going to be with the girl in question, Amity Blight.

As far as I know as of this typing, Amity Blight is a witchling from The Boiling Isles. She lives in Bonesboro at The Blight Manor estate with her parents and her siblings. She attends Hexside School of Magic and Demonics. Good for her.

Amity has an ambitious and competitive personality. She’s always striving to be better and be at the top of whatever she is doing. When she’s introduced in I Was a Teenage Abomination, she’s showing having great pride in being the top student in her abomination class. In Adventures in the Elements, she goes to The Knee in hopes of training to beat her siblings’ high score on the placement exam.

Amity also has a bit of a temper and gets annoyed easily. In I Was a Teenage Abomination, she sics her abominations on Willow and Luz just because she wasn’t named top student that day. In Enchanting Grom Fright, Amity snapped at the person she bumped into before realizing it was Luz. And later in the same episode, Amity beat up Hooty when he decided to get too close.

But she does have a soft sensitive side. She keeps a diary in her secret room in the library and even reads to kids in her free time. Amity also has a strong sense of integrity. She despises cheating (and cheaters) and feels guilt when she’s forced to break ties with Willow.

So why did someone like this fall for Luz of all people? (see above image)

Enter what I call my Shipping Theory of Compliments

The Shipping Theory of Compliments is that two characters would be shipped and sometimes canonically enter a romantic relationship based on their personalities complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

People like to use the image of a missing puzzle piece, but I don’t like that comparison because I think it’s a little inaccurate and I don’t like puzzles. Think of it more like the two pieces of the yin and yang coming together and then growing the circles of the opposite colors in them.

Something like that.

And it’s compliments, not opposites. When you think compliments, think more Star and Marco from Star vs the Forces of Evil. Star wants to go on a magical adventure. Marco also wants to go on a magic adventure. The difference is that Star goes in recklessly while Marco wants to plan it out a bit. They still have their adventure as oppose to Star’s opposite who wouldn’t want to go on a magical adventure. That sort of thing.

So how do Luz and Amity compliment each other?

Let’s start with that they have in common. Obvious stuff aside, they’re both training to become the best witches they can be. The difference comes that Luz is a human who has to learn magic via glyphs that she finds and Amity learns magic the “proper” way on The Boiling Isles. 

Luz and Amity are also both fans of The Good Witch Azura book series. Difference is that Luz is more open about her fandom while Amity tries to keep it a secret. Also petty thing but they’re both fan artists too, but I think Luz might be a better than Amity. But hey, her crosshatching is improving.

Luz and Amity are also (at the start of the series) both lonely people. Luz’s mom says that she doesn’t have any friends, and Amity doesn’t like her “friends.” The difference is that Luz reaches outward to ease her loneliness (being social and friendly, trying new things, etc.) while Amity reaches inward (keeping a diary, staying busy, having a secret spot, etc.). They both also use escapist fiction to ease their loneliness.

That’s all well and good, but now we get into the real speculative parts. 

...complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

When I was taking acting classes I was taught that the way you see people act is a persona based on their experiences on what it takes to survive and avoid physical, emotional and social death. So now we have to speculate based on what we were given on what emotional/social needs and wants has Amity not been getting before that she has with Luz.

First let me point you to another show called F is for Family. F is for Family is an adult animated sitcom on Netflix that follows a very dysfunctional family in the 1970s. These are legitimately bad characters, not in terms of being poorly written. What I’m saying is that these guys are assholes. But here’s where it gets interesting.

One of the characters is Kevin Murphy, the teenage son of the family. He’s a dim-witted wannabe rockstar who is always yelled at and put down by his parents throughout the entire series. However in season four Kevin meets Alice. Alice teaches Kevin that his favorite band is a big reference to Tolkien and gives him a copy of The Hobbit. They bond over their love of Lord of the Rings and get along really well. Alice calls him smart for being able to read all of Lord of the Rings over a few days and never puts him down. Even in the one time they did fight she never yelled at him or raised her voice which he found weird because he’s so used to being yelled at. Alice gave Kevin the emotional support he always wanted but never got from his family.

Using that as a backdrop, let’s go back to Amity.

Amity grew up with her parents making her do things she didn’t want to do, making choices for her. Amity wanted to be one way. Her parents wanted something else. Amity’s mother even dyes Amity’s hair green so it matches her siblings. Amity wanted to be friends with Willow. Amity’s parents wanted her to be friends with the mean kids. While Amity does work hard to be the best at what she’s doing, her parents also put pressure on her to make sure that she is at that level. 

Her siblings are another bag of awful. They constantly refer to her by an annoying nickname that I’m guessing has an embarrassing moment attached to it. They seem to live by a double standard that Amity despises. She has to work hard and follow the rules just to be accepted while they are naturally talented and break the rules with everyone still thinking that they’re perfect. 

Family is supposed to provide unconditional love except it looks like the love of the Blights is based on conditions. Nobody just likes Amity for who she is. She doesn’t have a friend.

Enter: the friendliest person she’s ever met

Amity has to struggle and work for the simplest things, even affection. Except when it comes to Luz. Luz is naturally friendly and positive. Amity doesn’t have to earn her kindness. Even when she’s bullied Luz before, Luz is always coming back with a smile. I suppose when you live life surrounded by jerks, you’ll want to hang out with the one person who’s always nice to you. Sort of.

Yes, Amity did think Luz was a bully for constantly getting her into trouble. But even at Covention and Lost in Language, Luz kept reaching out to her. This combined with Amity’s awareness of her own behavior is what convinced her to try to reach out in kind to Luz by the end of Lost in Language. “She’s trying to be nice to me, so I should try too,” I’m guessing is the mindset especially in Adventures in the Elements. And then...Luz continued to be nice to her which is kind of a big deal for Amity.

Let’s tally up what we have so far:

Luz and Amity have similar interests (The Good Witch Azura series, art, fiction, learning magic)

Luz and Amity have similar values (work ethic, disdain for cheating, protecting those closest to you, etc.)

Luz gives Amity the positivity and affection that Amity doesn’t normally get anywhere else

They still have differing personalities with Amity being more competitive and Luz having more of a live-and-let-live attitude.

Even with all these things in mind, why was Amity so scared to ask Luz to Grom?

Speculating again but my theory is that Amity wasn’t sure if Luz actually liked her or if Luz is just friendly because that’s how Luz is. Amity was scared of being rejected because she felt that maybe she was just reading the situation wrong. Luz is this ray of sunshine in her gray skies (if you’ll forgive the cliché). People like Amity always think of all the worst possibilities (I know because I do this too). Amity was probably thinking a bunch of what ifs. “What if Luz doesn’t actually like me? What if she’s just being friendly because she feels sorry for me? What if she has feelings for someone else? What if she never actually liked me? What if she’s straight?”

Luz is Amity’s first crush and it is scary as all hell to put yourself out there like that for the first time. She wasn’t expecting to get married at Grom night. She just wanted to dance with the girl she liked.

The dance at Grom was like confirmation for her that it could happen. Amity didn’t have to ask out Luz because Luz asked her. Being with Luz isn’t a pipedream. It’s a definite possibility. And we all know how she reacted to that idea.

Uh...she’ll be in her bunk.

While Luz and Amity aren’t together as of this typing, I believe it’s bound to happen. Until then, after The Lumity Trilogy, Amity knows that Luz is the girl she likes. 

tl;dr version

Amity fell for Luz because they have similar interests and values, their personalities differ in a compatible way and Luz provides Amity emotional needs and wants that she doesn’t get anywhere else.

Also, round eared girl pretty.

.

Thanks everyone for reading.

[noirfos]

JANINE KISHI MY LOVE

Me emotionally talking about my childhood and the importance of representation under the cut

When I was little and I read the Babysitters club, I was probably most like Mary Anne. But I really wanted to be Kristy (I was really bossy so I had that down haha) and I’d like to think I’ve managed to develop the leadership qualities I admired in her.

I thought Claudia was super cool, and in the Netflix show I’m constantly amazed by her style and I have actually tried to copy her makeup. As some of the only Asian representation (besides Kristy in Rainbow Magic - shout out to another one of my beloved childhood book series) I had at the time, even though I didn’t really understand how important that was for me to have characters that I could relate to in that way, Claudia held a very special place in my heart.

Janine was the character that I loved to hate. I definitely admired her in the books, (especially her near photographic memory) in a similar way that Claudia did. She was cool, she was the older character, I had a soft spot for her but outwardly she was the annoying older sister (a common trope in books geared to young girls at the time) that I never had.

When I started watching the Baby Sitter’s Club on Netflix last year though, I realized I wanted to be Claudia/Kristy when I was little, but I literally grew up to be Janine. Her characterization in the Netflix show is as close to me as a character can get without the fandom obsession.

She looks a hell of a lot like me, she has the stoicness I aspire to have, I still wish I had her photographic memory, and she’s still a huge nerd. But the biggest difference is that she’s a computer science student (as am I) and in Claudia and the Sad Good Bye, during an extremely emotionally charged moment, a fact that was being hinted at all season was confirmed. Claudia Kishi is queer.

To have a character like this, who is so extremely ME, be further confirmed in that way, is amazing. I’ve seen characters I want to be like, characters I relate to, but seeing a character that is so close to being exactly who I am, on screen, WITH the extra significance that childhood nostalgia brings - it’s just amazing. To see myself represented THAT explicitly in a story.

And the way their family dynamics are portrayed - I see myself in Claudia, having been born in North America and rejected her culture at a young age. But I’m now closer in age to Janine, and I feel that same sense of regret and wanting to grow closer to the heritage I once abandoned. Mimi is such a sweet and amazing character (very much like Uncle Iroh, another beloved older Asian figure) and in the moment when she said “goodbye, my Claudia” I actually teared up which is not something I do often. I could see my own family, my grandparents, my brother, my parents all reflected in the story of the Kishis.

Even though I’m not Japanese, the experience of kids born into a mixed 3rd generation Asian immigrant family is such a unique yet widely experienced thing. And to see it represented in such a relatable and accurate way, along with the emotions, dynamics, and different perspectives - all of which I can relate to on such an intrinsic level - is just such a special and meaningful thing. And this latest reveal confirming Janine (the character I relate to most now) is actually gay, and would’ve had to go through the turmoil of coming to terms with that, and from her perspective as a logical thinker, with the prejudices of an Asian family with traditional beliefs, it’s like the icing on top of the cake.

The Baby Sitters Club is not the most amazing show I’ve watched. The writing is admittedly cringey at times. But in Claudia and the Sad Good Bye, the acting from Claudia and Janine’s actresses was incredible. I felt all those emotions alongside them. I relate to Janine so much. And seeing myself in this story that I hold so dear to my heart. It’s just an incredible feeling.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers (February 22nd, 2021)

Hello! Here’s another collection of anon ask answers all put together in one big post.

This might be strange considering how upbeat yall are about the fandoms for your games in general, but is there any particular trope or ship you WOULDN'T want us writing/drawing/etc. in relation to your stuff? (IE, any canon you don't want us 'overwriting' or something like that?)

Of course we would want the fan content people make to not be racist, sexist, homophobic, bigoted, harmful, etc. But in terms of generally doing non-canon pairings or adding in headcanons or stuff, we really don’t mind that. People are welcome to have fun and explore their own ideas.

for the 1.2 Android update was it meant to download as a  separate app? I really want to keep my previous save files but they don't show up (also thank u for the updates I'm really excited to get back into the game!!)

We had to change the name of the file and unfortunately for some phones that meant it’s treated as a brand new game. I’m sorry your saves didn’t transfer over to the new version. You can try to look up your specific phone and see if there’s a way to access save files for games on your device and then transfer those saves over to the new build manually. It may or may not be possible.

I'm having some trouble figuring out how to get the update from Itichio without losing my save files? Is it the same game or a folder I can put in the properties? Sorry if this question is not worded well or if this isn't the avenue you'd want to take technical questions on

Are you using Android? If so, the above answer may apply to you. If you’re on PC or Mac, the save files will automatically still be included.

Hey. I really loved playing our life. It was a fun experience and I never thought I would like it this much. I do have a question, I am currently replaying the game and I am choosing choices I never chose at first. In step 2 during the road trip arc, I decided to ask Cove about what he liked to see on people. One of his response was anklets and black eyes. My MC have just happens to have black eyes. Do Cove say black eyes cuz my mc have it or it was just a coincidently programmed into the game?

He uses your eye color intentionally! If you changed your eye color he’d change what he said.

Will step 4 have 10 moments like steps 1-3? 

Step 4 is only an epilogue. It plays like the openings/endings of the earlier Steps where it’s a bunch of scenes all in a row, there aren’t any individual Moments.

hi! who was/were the artist(s) for our life? 

&

who is the artist for Our Life: Beginning and Always?

Main Sprite and CG Artist: Addrossi

Main Background Artist: Vui Huynh

Main Interface Artist: Winter Slice

Other artists who helped out can be seen in the credits of the game.

In the new ol, there are two main love interests... Would it be possible to pair them together or is that weird? 

You can’t stay single and pair them together. If we are going to add all the extra content to have a route where the two LIs get together, it’d be a full poly route where them and the MC were all dating. And that’s not a for sure option yet because it’d add a lot of extra complications. But either way, in OL the relationships all gotta be about the MC, haha.

In OL2, there will be extra LIs in form of DLCs? Like Dexter and Baxter. 

Maybe! We’ll see how it goes.

Since Cove will have 2 diff body types in s4, will the storyline and dialogs reflect this? Or all of it will be the same? Btw love the game and sorry for bad english. Hope this doesn't sound rude 😅 

Some descriptions and pieces of dialog will change, but it won’t impact the story really. And you don’t need to apologize! It’s all good.

Will you ever release the transparent sprites of the Our Life characters? 

Probably not, I’m afraid. They’ve got a lot of pieces and it’d just be kind of hard to deal with, aha.

Something I was curious about, what was your inspiration for making a game with so much customization?

Initially, the idea was just about having a romance where you actually grew up with the LI. But it was pretty stressful to try deciding how fast the relationship would progress with it taking place over such a long period of time and with no real storyline carrying it. People might not wanna play a game where the characters don’t get along as kids, but other people might not bother with a game where kids immediately liked each other. So the obvious answer came, just let the player pick themselves how it goes. From there we simply continued to add more flexibly with the MC due to the same thought process of wanting to make sure people were onboard with how their life was going.

What made you decide to change the artstyle for ol 2 so much? I of course respect all your decisions and will buy the shit out of everything related to ol 2, but i love the original style and i m honestly not a fan of the styles shown on patreon, despite me liking the painterly style in general. (I don t mind the style being changed, just that the examples shown so far all feel like there s something wrong with them.) 

We’ve always used different art styles for each of our projects. They all have distinct looks from each other. It’s just nice to do something new. I’m glad you really like how the first game looks, though. And those samples were only general concepts, rather than the exact options being decided between. We wanted to see reactions to different options. The art style we’re going with won’t be exactly like those, though I personally like all of them. I think players are gonna enjoy the style Our Life: Now & Forever when it’s revealed.

Hey! Is it ok to ask what gender ourlife2 protagonist will be and if we'll be given the same opportunity to customize an MC? Totally understand if you're keeping this under wraps for now if u don't wanna say! 

OL2 will have the same type of MC customization as OL1, but even more refined! So their gender will be up to you.

Hi! I happened upon Our Life on Steam by pure chance. It is such a great game, I am super excited about the DLC, and I just want you all to know that you are awesome! :D I have a question, and I'm sorry if it's been asked before. Do you have plans of making more games similar to Our Life, with customizable player character? The customizable player character was probably the one thing I personally have been desperate for in romance VNs. So glad there finally is one and would love to see more.

Thank you! And yep, we do have plans for more games like Our Life, most notably is another game in the franchise- Our Life: Now & Forever. We’ll also likely have other, non-OL, games with customizable MCs, though we may still have some games with set MCs in the future as well.

On the patreon dlc just curious but is it possible to play it without actually sleeping together/getting the nsfw content? I just want to spend more time with Cove 

Yeah, you can still choose not to go that far. Though the event is shorter if you pass on the 18+ stuff.

At the beginning of Step 2, did Cove end up accidentally falling asleep in your bed? Or did he fall asleep on the floor? 

He fell asleep sitting on the floor with his body/head leaning against the side of the bed.

This may seem like a weird question, but what exactly is the difference between "direct" and "relaxed" on the comfort scale?

Direct is blunter and more teasing, relaxed is lighthearted and goes with the flow.

can the MC have tattoos in step 3? 

Not in Step 3, but you can in Step 4.

how would Cove react if he visited somewhere like North Carolina in winter where it can get in the 20s(F) at night sometimes? 

He would be shocked and unprepared for what serious coldness is really like, haha. The poor beach baby would wanna go home.

Hello! I just joined the PATREON!! It’s amazing! I love your games! I have a question, approximately how much after will the nsfw be out? After or before the dlc 3 and step four? Sorry my English isn’t the best!❤️❤️❤️ 

Thanks so much! The NSFW DLC will be out after the Step 3 DLC but before Step 4. And you don’t need to apologize for that ^^.

This might be obvious but, will step 4 have dlcs? Also, where will the nsfw dlc happen? Won't bother me at all if it s in in our or his house but i do think it d be moderately funny 

Step 4 will have the Cove Wedding DLC and the Derek and Baxter romance DLCs each add a lot of new content to Step 4, though they’re also partially set in Step 2 and Step 3 respectively. The NSFW DLC happens in Cove’s room.

I keep wondering what would've happened if Mr. Holden met Lizzie first instead of the MC. I can't see that turning out well somehow lol. 

It wouldn’t have made a difference. He met the MC’s parents first and they told him about their two kids. He wanted the MC specifically to be Cove’s friend because the two were the same age.

Even though we have a way to go I'm really excited for OL 2! I was curious though, is the next main character going to be adopted again? I thought it was really clever to make the first main character adopted so when players are customizing,  they can make them look how ever they like without worrying about pesky genetics. Just wondering! 

The OL2 MC is not adopted. We wanted to go for a new dynamic. Instead their parents are their biological single mother who is partially customizable and an off-screen sperm donor father. So the mom will look generally like the MC and any other traits not from her can be assumed to come from whoever the father was.

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Thank you so much for all the asks ^^

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