#like tldr. if you post a photo of yourself and someone uses it as a reference image in art

[bitchfitch]

idk. My like. Actual day job involves a lot of needing to know how copyright laws relate to the use of stock images and reference images in art. Like, That is an entire part of the studio I work fors legal teams monthly emails about like documenting sources and such.

And I just saw a post that had a stock model who linked his ToC. I feel so bad for this dude bc like. I prefer to respect folks wishes when it comes to how their images are being used, but he was going Full legal jargon with warnings about contacting lawyers and what not.

and basically none of his ToC was actually legally enforcable. Some of it was Actually Extremely Illegal as it would be classed as like discrimination under relavant laws. Some of it was absolute nonsense, you like need signed contracts for some of this stuff not a DA page that says them, and like. Idk. It's clear he was coming from a place of self protection and I will not fault him for it or use his images but I Desperately hope he never actually tries to go to court over any of it because he Will lose, and he will be loosing Hard.

[cosmowes]

handling shit teachers.

cough cough… sixth period look, we’ve all had them, right? and they suck ass. but don’t let what can do and have worked for be shirked by someone who can’t do their job.

you make your future. and though this may be annoying for now, you can turn it around.

tldr at the end ❤️

ONE- reeeally think about it.

what’s the problem you’re having? is it professional or personal? this is an issue i’ve had a lot. i’ve had teachers i thought sucked, when really it was me failing to communicate as a student. i thought they had a vendetta- i was just bad at talking.

i’ll use my current shit teacher as an example. sixth period. super disorganized, always changing due dates without telling us, changes rubrics and doesn’t post it, gets upset when the work she didn’t assign isn’t done.

disaster, right? and usually i’d just correspond more but she doesn’t answer email. aka: this is not my fault.

now what?

TWO- what you can control.

the good thing is you can still handle things from here. use the syllabus and teach yourself anything that isn’t in the class. do your best with what they provide.

if if’s a huge issue and not a core academic, you can switch classes. if it is a core academic, i’ve still had friends switch teachers mid-year so depending on your school’s rules it can happen.

if you teacher is, like mine, disorganized, use what they provide. don’t be afraid of working in advance. whenever i get an assignment in her class it goes up in priority cuz, for all i know, it may go from being due on a friday to a wednesday.

if the teacher can’t control the class, earbuds are a lifesaver. go to the library to do the work. get photos of whatever notes they give and teach yourself.

my school provides online textbooks. if your teacher is not teaching: USE THEM. lordie they’re helpful. and use resources like khan academy, ixl, noredink, kuta, etc. they’re redundant i know but they can be a lifesaver.

THREE- what you can’t.

don’t beat yourself up over this. it sucks but it’s another period that you will come out from, and when you do you’ll have new tools for handling difficult people. don’t view it as an instant negative, just a minor setback.

your words shape your reality. if you walk into class praying for them to be absent, grumbling and all negative, you do nothing nowhere except more pissed. smile, nod, and keep it moving. do not let this break down your spirit.

TLDR:

figure out whether the problem is the teacher or you. 🖊️

use your class syllabus 📑

if needed, switch class/teacher 🧑‍🏫

work in advance 🕰️

teach yourself whatever you miss (online textbooks!) 📚

use online resources (kuta, khan, ixl, noredink) 💻

don’t beat yourself up over it - think positive and keep going ☀️

[calenthee]

Really sorry if you have gotten this ask a million times, but i'm a nee follower. Your coloring style is pretty much exactly what i aspire to. Do you happen to have any tutorials or anything that you've posted of yourself or used to learn from?

It’s okay! I haven’t been asked too many times! Even if I had, I’d still answer!

the lame response is, practice and trail and error. I’ve been drawing for many many years, and was in school for also many years, so it’s kind of congealed in my brain into one mass.

This got longer than I expected, so more under the cut

a slightly better response is; I’ve always struggled with unifying my colors. One thing I was taught was using layer effects is bad, and can make the art look bad. I use both photoshop and clip studio paint, though I know a lot of drawing programs have similar functions.

layer effects are a lot like salt. If you do too much, someone might like it! But it can really put a damper on piece, and the reverse is true, only having a little might not make a difference at all.

Because I struggle with unifying colors, a real traditional painting way is to either have a very opaque wash, or even mixing the main color of the piece into some of the other colors.

I’m an OKAY traditional artist. I still struggle with color, which is why all my work is digital. I have better practice, and I’m just better at it.

so with the power of photoshop, I “cheat” a little bit. I could try to hand mix the colors digitally, but photoshop sucks for that and, well, I’m lazy. Work smarter, not harder.

My party trick? I add a light pink layer over a lot of my work, set it to overlay and lower the opacity on that layer so it’s not as strong.

for example, the drawings on the left, the colors are fine, they could just ~pop- a little more. I throw on the overlay layer, move it to 46% and, viola! Colors are more unified and it’s got a distinct look to it.

I’ve been doing this for a few years now, and usually what ends up happening is, sometimes I’ll just merge the overlayed layer and just start color picking from those merged colors.

those genshin chibi’s I did are just color picked from their character models, and maybe lightened slightly so it’s not too dark, but really not much changing. So putting the overlay really gets everything together.

Another layer option I tend to use is Exclusion, and usually a lighter brown with the layer opacity set to like, 15 or 20%. It helps a) unify everything, and b) helps tone down some of the brighter colors, to make it a bit more muted so it fits with the art nouveau style I like to draw in.

and again, just lots of color picking from the merged images to help keep everything together.

this turned out longer than expected! TLDR experiment! Try limiting your color pallets! Use layer effects, it’s okay if you don’t know what they do, I honestly don’t quite know myself ( I can give it a good guess, but, eh lol )

also avoid using true black if you can! When doing shades, darks get more rich, while lights get more washed out ( this is how I use colors, the cool thing about art, is you can do whatever! )

When I’m doing “blacks” in my piece, usually use a blue, or a red or purple, cuz it’s more vibrant and there are lots of tones of black. Ever try wearing a full black outfit with different clothes from different stores? They’re all different. So I always try to mix up the blacks and also try to keep the same color of black separate. That way stuff doesn’t start to blend.

And uhhhhh yeah! That’s more or less how I go about coloring. Sometimes you just gotta color pick from a neat photo and use those colors! See a cool rock? Color pick that bitch. Reference is king!

[shirecorn]

how about 17 and 24? what inspires you and how do you deal with art block?

Long post warning.

Art block...

I don't actually get art block, which is probably a combination of neurodivergence and drawing every day for the last 3 years

I wrote an entire tutorial about how to do that, but didn't feel like illustrating it. Would people want to read it even without visuals?

Maybe... I'll just start rambling.

There's a couple different types of art block, and it's really just a philosophy puzzle to get past them. I'm going to assume that the things I think of slow days, or art mud, is a milder form of art block and work through that.

Art block is a symptom, not a disease. You probably have something deep inside that you don't want to face, or don't know how. Sometimes you need to discover the cause, sometimes just power through.

Method 1: Rest

Let yourself just Exist. The act of consuming art is part of the process. Watching shows and playing games, taking a break and going gardening or focus on school. This is what you need for burnout-induced art block.

Method 2: Action

I always choose action, sometimes it means a tiny 2 min sketch per day. Ugly or super simplified. As long as I don't stop moving.

Toss everything. Start every piece thinking you will throw it away.

The act of drawing moves you forward; pinning it to the fridge does not. Don't work things until they are perfect. Work them until they are there.

Art block causes and solutions:

- No Inspiration

Not sure what to draw, nothing seems appealing. Art won't come out like it used to.

Do studies from life or photos. Sketch, paint, digital, traditional, doesn't matter. Rocks, fruit, figure drawing, landscapes, buildings, anything.

Study and copy professional's work. Old masters are best, like rubens, michalangelo (only his men tho) etc because they will teach you anatomy while you work. If you copy someone with a lot of flaws, you will repeat those flaws.

Trace to learn, not to earn. Trace photography and art from anyone you want. Don't post it unless you have the artist's permission or they are dead, whichever comes first. This is strictly work for yourself, on yourself. It's not about the finished drawing.

Find an artist with a fun style and try converting stuff into their style. Don't make that your new style though and especially don't start selling it. Your style is a chimera of everyone you love, not a clone of one person.

Take blurry photos. You don't need a fancy camera or good skills or beautiful subjects. Doing studies from your own photos can spark life into your workflow.

Make challenges for yourself. Randomly generate things to combine. Try fusing characters! Don't try to make it look good, just be fun.

Doodle patterns, swirls, lines, random stuff. Try looking up art warmups and doing some of those.

- Everything Sucks

You finally see how bad you are. Or somehow you got worse. Every piece is a fight and you spend hours trying to get something right only for it to be stiff and disgusting and STILL wrong.

Why are you trying to draw good? It's enough just to draw.

Accept that your art is bad. Every artist can see flaws in their work. Your problem is that those flaws outweigh anything remotely worthwhile and hurt to look at.

So what? You're in a period of growth, not a period of production. Keep that wonky second eye. Let them have hot dog fingers.

Show everyone! Show no one! No piece of art can ever be a reflection of the artist. Not their worth, not their skill. The only thing your art says about you is "Held and moved a pen for a bit."

Make bad art. It's ok. Most of the time, the pressure to perform and get things Right is what made them wrong in the first place. Relax.

- No Motivation

The #1 killer of artists everywhere. On some level you think you should draw, on every other level you think you should stay in bed.

You are not lazy. You wouldn't have read this far in a post about art block if you were lazy. You wouldn't CALL it art block if you were lazy. Laziness is wishing you didn't have to do anything. A block is wishing you were doing something. If you think you can namecall Yourself into productivity again, you're wrong and You need to unionize so that you don't treat You like that anymore.

Consider Mental Illness. Losing interest in something that brought you joy can be a symptom of depression. I know it seems obvious, but if you're waiting for a sign that it's "bad enough," it's bad enough. Seek care if you have the means. Forgive yourself if you already know this.

Selfcare. Examine yourself for neglect. Nutrition, exercise, enrichment, social need, and sleep are all part of the art process. Eat three meals and sleep 8 hours. That's your gaymer fuel. You deserve it, I promise. Depriving yourself of your needs will make your blocks worse, not kick you into making them better.

Identify potholes. Sketchbook falling apart? Tablet cord frayed? Half your pencils missing? Chair uncomfortable? Desk hard to reach? There's a lot of things that you tell yourself to work around and get over. Just because you CAN workaround something, doesn't mean you SHOULD. A difficult work environment can cause secret dread deep inside that you don't recognize and just think you're lazy. What you think of as "no motivation" might actually be "I don't want to deal with my tablet disconnecting every time I move it wrong and I have to wiggle it for a few seconds to make it work again." These little things are like potholes in the road. Sure you CAN still drive through them, but eventually you're going to look up and realize you haven't voluntarily left the house in weeks.

Repair potholes and roadblocks. You might feel bad about buying a new pencil, headphones, tablet, car, etc because technically the old one works if you hustle. But if you're running into so many potholes you've ground to a halt, it doesn't Actually work anymore, does it? Invest, save up, request, and require working equipment and suitable conditions. This stuff isn't just cushy privilege, it's an investment in yourself and your art. You are worth the effort it takes to clear the way. If you can't afford reliable (reliable! not perfect or luxurious) equipment, then say it. If cardboard is all you can afford, draw on cardboard. But know that you deserve canvas, and one day you might be able to make the jump. Acknowledge that sometimes, if you don't have it in you to smear burned twigs on wet cardboard, the problem isn't motivation, but opportunity.

- Haven't Drawn in So Long

A unique type of art block that self perpetuates. The thought of starting again is so stressful you can't do it. Or maybe you'll do it tomorrow. Yeah. Tomorrow for sure.

Face your fears. Are you ashamed of your lack of drawing? Are you anthropomorphizing your paper and thinking it's going to judge you, like "oh NOW you come back >:/" I internalize voices I hear and project them onto other people, concepts, locations, and inanimate objects. Your paper, computer, WIPs folder.... none of that is judging you.

Reframe your WIPs. Do you feel shame when you see "unfinished" projects? Why? Who says you MUST bring everything you start to Finish? You don't have to. A sketch is a finished art piece; it's called a sketch! If a sketch is a fully realized creation, pages that are half colored, 75% lined, or partially rendered are all fully realized creations too. Unless paid otherwise, art is done when you're done working on it.

Lower the stakes. Draw a chibi or grab some crayons. Get messy and slowly ease yourself back into the flow over the course of a couple days. It's fine.

Get a buddy! Find an art meme, do an art trade, get a study subject, or just wing it. Drawing art alongside someone can help you get past that block.

Pretend you never stopped. Don't think about the gap, how long it's been, or rustiness. As far as anyone knows, you drew the mona lisa yesterday and didn't break a sweat. Today, you drew a starfish on your hand with a gel pen. Keep up that streak, good job!

Just keep drawing. Make a goal to do one sucky drawing per day on the back of a napkin. Don't make up for missed days, just pretend they didn't happen. Who's going to judge you? The calendar? That's pieces of paper; it doesn't have an opinion. Draw a cat on it. Done. Keeping up the momentum is a great way to prevent art blocks in the future.

TLDR: Draw imperfectly and toss it. Selfcare is king. Draw often and don't judge yourself.

Art is a process, not a product.

[watchstarscollide]

You've Got a Match! | Kim Namjoon

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» Summary | Dating apps suck and have never done much but disappoint you. But when the familiar face of your project partner pops up on your phone, do you give into the temptation to swipe right? And would he ever look at you the same way again?

❤ Pairing | Kim Namjoon x Reader

★ Word Count| 1.5k

» Genre | College!AU, slice of life, slight angst

↳ AN | Hi, if you want the full story check out this post. But TLDR; I’m back on tumblr and posting writings I’ve done while I was away. I’m trying to get back into it and write more so currently I am taking requests! I’m part of a million and one fandoms so just try me.

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Left.

Left.

Left.

Your thumb started getting sore by the repeating motion as you moved it across the bright screen. You didn’t even know why you still had the useless dating app installed.. There was never a good experience that came out of it and the conversations were even less interesting than the profiles. At this point it was just to pass time and what a waste of time it was. Like now, as you lay spread out on your couch on a boring Friday night.

Every profile seemed to follow the same patterns time after time. Your choices were one of the following:

•A profile with one picture and nothing in the bio

OR

•A profile with a bunch of pictures of  group photos where you couldn’t determine who the actual person was and a bio that read like a wishlist more than anything

Still though you swiped on them, seeing where fate decided to lead you. And it felt almost as if fate wanted your entire existence to be a joke as the next profile was a very familiar face. The face of your English presentation partner.

You looked over his profile a few times though you weren’t sure what surprised you more. The fact that Namjoon, the guy who seemed so focused on school and disinterested in socializing outside of class, actually had a dating profile...or the fact that it was actually pretty good. If you didn’t know the guy then he probably would’ve been the lucky winner of your  first swipe right of the night.

You looked over his pictures again, examining each carefully one by one. The first was just a standard selfie. Actually not just standard, it was a damn good selfie even you could admit that. The next was of him with some friends.

So he does actually go out...

And the last of him with a white, fluffy dog. Must have been the dog he mentioned in his bio. His bio itself wasn’t half bad either. Simple, but cute.

You had to laugh to yourself, cute definitely wasn’t a word you expected to be using to describe Namjoon. Not to say that you never noticed him before but he certainly didn’t seem to pay you any mind. You may have slipped him a few looks at the beginning of the semester but even as you met him for project meetings he was always so business first that you didn’t ever have the chance to let your mind wander in that direction. Any semblance of interest was squashed under that weight pretty quickly.

But now you definitely were looking. What kind of person was Namjoon outside of class? What kind of romantic compliments would someone like him give?

He seemed like the type that would take his time in a museum and admire his surroundings.

Would he admire a partner the same way? Like the finest painting on a wall?

What would it be like to go on a date with Kim Namjoon?

You didn’t even realize the giddy smile that made its way across your lips as you stared at his profile picture.

“What the hell am I doing?” You laughed out loud, shaking your head at even the thought of swiping right on Namjoon. What would he think when your profile popped up on his? Best case scenario is he would swipe right on you if he hadn’t already.

Yeah right.

Worst case is that he doesn’t and then you’re always known as the girl who harbored some secret interest.

Did he even use the app enough for you to come up? Honestly, if he never saw it or even swiped left but never said anything then would it even matter? You wouldn’t know any different.

“Fuck it” you said, flicking your thumb to the right quickly. Instant regret filled your veins as you held your breath, waiting for something to happen, anything. But much as you expected, nothing did. You didn’t expect a match with him but for some reason you were almost excited at the prospect. With that, you locked your phone and gave the app a rest for the night.

Maybe it was for the better as the very next day you had your last project meeting with Namjoon before the actual presentation. The project was worth almost half your grade for the class and, much like always, Namjoon was completely honed in on the work to be done over anything else around him.

You couldn’t lie, you felt your eyes drifting over to him more than usual. Looking him over and hanging onto every word that left his mouth. The man was talking about PowerPoint slides and it made you blush. His gaze would meet yours for two seconds before the sudden urge to advert your eyes overcame you. You couldn’t believe the stupid childlike crush you seemed to have developed overnight.

You leaned back in the uncomfortable library chair, taking in a breath to fill your lungs and calm your heart. You needed to settle down, you were both in the home stretch to finishing this project and passing the class. Now wasn’t the time to be distracted by some grade school like crush.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon suddenly spoke up talking for once about something other than the presentation, “You just seem a little on edge today”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Do you mind if we just take a minute? I just need to take my eyes off the computer” You made up, bringing your fingers to your temples to feign a headache. He nodded telling you it was no problem as he leaned back in his own chair with his phone in hand.

You looked him over as he scrolled through his phone. The way his soft hair fell over the side of his face, framing it perfectly. His intense yet warm eyes that you wished would look at you as it did over your project slides. His strong hands that held onto his phone so delicately, you wondered what those hands would feel like on you...

You shook your head quickly, wishing all these intrusive thoughts to leave. You were being ridiculous and clearly thirsty. You needed to focus. No one got a degree by daydreaming about their hot project partner.

Your phone vibrated violently on the wooden table, lighting up with a notification. Hoping and praying it was something that was enough of a distraction to derail your mind, you reached out and picked up the device. Using your thumb to unlock it, you were a little taken aback when it opened up the dating app that was ruining your whole mindset. Your eyes scanned to the small red bubble in the corner of the app figuring it was just an old match trying to get a hookup. But to your surprise, it was a brand new chat message.

You have a new match!

A painful yet fluttering feeling filled your stomach as your eyes were met with the same profile that you swiped right on last night. As you moved your gaze quickly to Namjoon, he continued to look elsewhere as if nothing had happened. As if he didn’t just swipe right on you while sitting right there in front of you.

How was he acting so casual?

You swore you felt a moisture growing between your hands as you looked from the phone to your partner over and over, trying to determine if you were entirely mistaken and the profile was someone who happened to look the same...and be the same age...and have the same name.

Should you say something? Should you pretend you never saw it? Was it a mistake?

“What do you want to do first?” Namjoon spoke up.

You whipped your head back at him, “huh?” He finally looked up from his phone and directly into your eyes, his eyes lighting up with intensity. Once again you felt a heat rise in your cheeks and elsewhere if you were being honest as he looked you over.

“Do you want to put the slide about grammar structure first or the one about the importance of punctuation?” He asked. Embarrassment quickly took a place in your body as you continued to stare at Namjoon.

“O-oh duh uh-“ you stuttered out, looking back at your computer quickly. You had no idea what you were thinking, obviously he meant your project. This whole match thing had to be some bad joke. But as you looked at the bright screen, your attention was caught again quickly as a soft laugh left Namjoon. You slowly looked back over at him even as you wanted to crawl into a hole from the awkward tension on your shoulders.

Still though he still stayed with his eyes on you. Namjoon leaned in from his chair, setting his phone on the table to face you.

You have a new match!

He smiled as you read the screen, “Or would you rather start it back at my place?”

[magicalembers]

"How Do I Open My Third Eye?"

BEWARE: LONG BUT INFORMATIVE POST

Opening the third eye is a pretty exciting prospect, especially for budding practitioners. This “eye” helps us “see” with our intuition the energies around us that aren’t quite always physically felt. But “seeing” is kind of a misnomer, in my opinion. The third eye, in fact, can allow us to see, hear, touch, and even sometimes smell and taste what is going on in “astral”, the common term for the plane outside of the physical realm.

But how does one begin to “open this eye”?

There are many different methods, but one thing I strongly believe in is that the third eye should be “opened” and trained like a muscle. Don’t rush it, and increase training in small increments at a time. A lot of times I have seen someone’s third eye be forced open too quickly, leading to it “snapping shut” so intensely that opening it again is incredibly difficult; this is kind of like when you pull a muscle or damage it from overwork, and as a result have to keep off of it for a long while until it heals and then go through physical therapy to bring it back to normal before strengthening it again.

Meditation will be something a lot of people will recommend. I understand that this is a very broad statement, since meditation comes in so many different forms. So, here is a specific exercise regimen I recommend:

For 5-15 minutes, put as much focus as you can on a single plant. Recommended is a houseplant or one on your property, but going out in the wild and finding one to sit in front of is fine. Spend this time describing, either in your head, in writing, or out loud, the physical traits of this plant. Explore your physical senses (of course, please do not eat or sniff or touch plants that may be hazardous to your health.) and take these details into account. Journal them if you feel the need to. After the physical is described, start to question to yourself how this plant “feels” to you- If you were to give its aura a color, what would it be? What emotion do you think it has in the moment? What does it want in that moment? Trust those gut feelings, journal them. Maybe even document it with a photo.

Each time you do this (I recommend no more than once a day, with breaks every few days at first) pick a different plant. Once you start feeling comfortable, venture out to plants in locations you don’t frequent extremely often. Once you feel comfortable reading plants, move on to animals, from less complex and familiar to wild ones (stay safe please, watching in a zoo is a good idea for wild ones).

Finally, move on to people, with their permission, of course. I would say the most complex readings are on people and objects, since objects tend to have energy traces with some of their own energy at their core.

Try your best to take your time and trust your body. If you feel headaches coming on when doing this exercise, stop immediately and let your third eye rest for a day or two. Headaches while trying to read energy can be the first sign of overworking your third eye.

Sorry for the long post, but I wish you all the luck!

TLDR; Train your third eye by conditioning it like a muscle. Small amounts at a time, go plants -> animals -> people (with permission) -> objects. Headaches while performing can be a warning sign that you’re overworking it, so take a break and begin again after about a day or so.

[marshmallowprotection]

Birthday Title Screen

Saeran’s title screen underneath the cut alongside my thoughts and feelings on the matter. Under the cut simply because if you don’t want to see it, you can go and wait until it’s officially released by Cheritz in your time zone. Anyways, we know why we’re here.

It’s that time again and boy, aren’t we happy to be able to talk about it? Now, this title was advertised as Unknown so I expected Unknown. I didn’t expect my boy Suit Saeran to be on the title. The game tends to imply that Unknown is the just Suit Saeran, and vice versa, but I don’t agree with that notion but I’ve explained that one many times before but the game never confirms outright one way or the other so, you know how that goes. 

I’ll spare you that, I’ve got plenty of posts talking about that opinion for you to find if you want, lol. 

Either way, this is the first time that Suit Saeran’s gotten the pointed limelight like this. He’s usually meant to surprise the player because they may not see him in their minds as their trying to uncover the mystery and everything. But, we’ve got to say, Cheritz has thrown all spoiler fears out of the window. I mean, they just plastered Seven’s true name on a boat. 

I laughed about that but I digress, you’re here for the photo and you want to see me shriek like a banshee.

So, yeah, let’s just our obligatory scream out of the way presently. When I saw this one, I could think was: Oh my God, it’s BE2. The only reason my brain just decided BE2 was because of the framing of all the presents. In that ending, he gives you gifts, he gives you food, but “you’re not good enough to open them or touch them, toy.” He’ll give you all kinds of things but you know, you get what he wants when he decides. 

And crumbs, if you’re lucky on a good day, you know? 

That being said, it doesn’t have to be framed as BE2, but the presents and gifts just lead me to believe that this is the theme or the idea that it’s taking from to show the audience because what else am I going to be thinking when you’ve gone and thrust that idea into my face like that? Mmm, and I’ve been talking about that ending a lot lately. 

Here’s that post if you want to read more about BE2. It’s a tragic ending that is bad for both Saeran and MC. He’s trying to get you back like Humpty Dumpty but he can’t put you back together again. He realized too little, too late, that he liked you the way that Ray did, that he genuinely liked you for you. He can’t say that aloud, so he... tries cruel ways to bring you back, but it will never work and he’s doomed to despair. 

No hope for Suit Saeran if the kindness heart can be destroyed in hell. It means it’s only natural that he lose everything. 

I appreciate that he’s sticking to his goth theme, though, that party hat is just red and black.

Suit Saeran’s very... minimalist in the sense that he just picks things that are truly intense and sharp. That’s why he wears a suit. That’s because it’s the thing that he knows that can radiate power. Business men are supposed to be strong and forthcoming with their ability, that’s why he leans that way. 

His father is like that, the idea of what power and monster is feeds into how he chooses to dress himself. 

That’s why he just says, “Suit time.” If anyone was curious about that, anyway, I never seen people talk about that. Ray was given his clothes by Rika, he never got a say in how he dressed. The boys always pick something dark because it’s going to match their mood... their mood is how they pick colors and clothes if given the ability. 

That’s why GE Saeran is bright and cottagecore. It reflects the positive shift in his thoughts and perspective on the world. But, with Suit Saeran, he’s trying to emulate what he’s scared of and what he thinks that power is and this is the only way he knows how and it hurts to think about when you frame it that way, I do know that. 

Is that meant to be a stamp and playbook? Did Suit Saeran really make a whole illustrated guide for his puppet show? Is he really making acts and stories for all of this? He had to make those puppets himself. We know that Saeran is creative and can make anything, but those things are clearly handmade, hand-painted, I have a strong feeling that he made those clothes himself, too... 

You know, I like to imagine him drawing his emojis before he comes to you because he wants to make a good impression, but he’s a very specific artist and he gets angry when he can’t get things right, so I’m really thinking about him being out here in his workroom, painting fine details with a determined look in his eyes like—

“This’ll show that toy. This’ll show them how powerful I am.” 

Suit Saeran, honey, this is a gift within itself, you are a dork and I love you so much, oh my God.

TLDR; Suit Saeran makes puppets and makes their own playbook like this is going to a musical or the opera. 

He actually brought you the exact outfit. This means that he either made you that outfit, or he got himself, and then he made a smaller version. 

I like to think he’s crafty with sewing so I pretend he does things like this, but honestly, if you’ve made it this far, are you also thinking about the fact that he made a doll versions of the both of you to show you something? 

Because I can’t stop thinking about that. He really said, “Look at this, I made us, toy!” Like, I wrote a whole imagine once where MC and GE Saeran made each other plush dolls of the other person to sleep with. He just went out here and made puppets simply because he wanted to put on a show. He made y’all and I’m gonna cry what a fucking dork.

This is canon.

My God, I’m canon. 

Once again, I’m out here living my best life and nobody’s going to stop me on that front. Saeran wants to impress you and astound you so badly that he does not even realize that the handmade things that he’s making actually would be something that flatter someone. 

Like, he could use those to patronize me and berate me for control, but—

I’d really be sitting there compliment his fine eye and craftsmanship. It’s just that great. 

“Wow, Saeran. You did this all by yourself? These details are so realistic and finely tuned. This must have taken you hours... no, days, it must have taken you days to paint everything and stitch all of this together, even the little fine details are perfect. You’re amazing! When did you have the time to learn all of this?” 

He would scoff, “Of course, I am, you blubbering toy! Don’t suck up to me and think that you’re going to be treated nicely. I won’t tell you anything about me. You don’t deserve that. I didn’t do this to impress you, I did this to show you what I want from you. Now, be a good little toy, sit there, and do as I ask. I won’t repeat myself.” 

I find it interesting that he framed himself in the Savior’s seat here. Is that just a tie back to BE3, or is it simply his power play? I think it’s a comment on the fact that he struggles to know how much power that he truly has in his hands. That is to say, he says he’s the strongest, but the reality is, Rika is stronger then him and he bows his head to her. 

Even in his fantasy, she holds all of the cards and he has no choice but to bend.

But, with MC, he is trying to use them to control his idea of power... because it’s a fragile thing. It could break at any second. He screams and shouts all that he wants but he knows, deep down, he may be strong, but he’s not the strongest in this place. How could he be? That’s why Rika even says to you during those late hours—

“Mmm, you noticed? He’s using you to stabilize himself because otherwise, he would crumble. Thanks for your sacrifice to helping me win my goals. It wasn’t a pleasure knowing someone as bright as you, getting in my way and trying to turn them against me.” 

He only feels strong when something placates the idea in his chest. It hurts, even in his numb and confused heart, he’s hurting and he can’t figure out a way to get out of the dark labyrinth. Did he make the Mint Eye playhouse? Did he? I am saying he did. None of you are going to stop me. Saeran is a creative artist and I will not be contained any longer.

Cheritz confirmed. 

You’re a doll on a string in this for him. He wants to say that he bends and controls you to his whims, but... he’s also there. This isn’t just you being a toy, it’s Saeran realizing that he’s a toy, too. Why else would he make a doll of his person, then? This is about him not entirely getting it, though. He would make himself but not realize what he’s implying to know deep down, underneath all of his yelling.

When I saw him in the chair, I thought... this is him in relation to being the marionette king. That’s why they’re doing this, oh my God. It makes sense to frame the MC as a puppet or toy, they’re always “his eyes” and “his toy” and more and more and more. But, he’s also being played for a toy by Rika to get what she wants.

Who is really the puppet here?

Who is really on the strings? 

Look at that cocky bastard. Look at him. Look at him forever and deal with me screaming about him, oh my God. In conclusion, I’m having a lot of feelings at the moment presently and I think I’m going to go and lay back down because I am going to need a minute to unpack everything that I’m feeling and dealing with because Suit Saeran.

SUIT SAERAN!

[angeloncewas]

Another thing about the lack of internet safety on twt is the “selfie days”. Like I get that this is not the intention, but for people to advertise and make a thing for people to post pictures of themselves where most of the fanbase is underaged is just really fucking weird???

Like idk it might just be me and my anxieties about putting stuff on the internet in general, but it’s just very uncomfy to see like 13 year olds willingly posting photos of their faces online and it being encouraged ;-;

I need to stop going to the "don't get me STARTED" place but that was my first thought upon reading this bc OML

There are a myriad of things wrong with selfie days.

Anonymity

Okay, so you don't use your real name on your stan account. That's awesome ! Step one of internet safety complete. But it's beetwt selfie day and you just posted your face. And you know where else you've posted your face? Literally a million places that can lead back to your name, school, city, home. Internet weirdos are smarter than you. They know a million loopholes you don't, but they don't even need them anymore because you've literally just handed them a key to your personal info

Creeps

Pictures of minors online. That's the tldr. I hate that they're there and I never want to blame the people who've suffered under them, but we have to be realistic about the conditions of the internet and advertising yourself as 13 next to your photo is so dangerous on so many levels

The future

This one's for me, but sometimes I'll see someone baiting or sending threats or other, similar, ridiculous behavior, and their selfie will be pinned. Or their face will be their pfp. Now I know some employment things are a myth and I'm sure plenty of places don't care that much for what you get up to in your free time, but there is no way at least one of these kids isn't gonna have their interview-ready face matched to a slew of horrific behavior on mcyttwt in 2021. Don't set yourself up like that. (Also just don't be a shitty person please and thank you.)

[jjkfire]

i miss writing so much! read through some of my yet to be finished updates and i just want to have the time to finish them ): anyway tldr is life has been crazy but uhh happy early lunar new year! here’s a short preview of navy... a rather big scene which i think is funny in its own way lol. there’s no context because it’s a snippet but imagine this fight actually playing out... as in have you ever fought with someone and when it’s all over you’re like that was stupidly hilarious! yes, that’s the mood for this one aha. also will probs delete this later because i am posting on impulse lmao

“Huh, so that’s why they went unanswered?” Jungkook asks, but he isn’t exactly expecting a reply because the whole situation was just insanely ridiculous to him. There’s a beat of silence, maybe two and then he just bursts out into sudden laughter. Nobody says anything as he guffaws to himself with his eyes shut because for some reason, his laughter is terrifying. It’s loud, almost forced and quite honestly, you’re scared.

“This is just too funny,” He shakes his head before he cards his fingers through his hair in frustration. “So, all this time my letters were— a-and all these years— I mean all of this is just too funny.”

He’s not completing his sentences and you don’t understand why. He says it’s funny but he’s quite obviously angry. No, not just angry but furious. You’ve never seen him like this in all the years you’ve known him.

“What… what letters?” You manage to ask, and at that Jungkook just laughs through his nose, once again shaking his head.

The room is silent and it feels like you’re the only one who isn’t in on the joke. Though, the joke seems to be a very terrible one considering everyone has some sort of uncomfortable look on their face.

“I sent you letters when I moved to Seoul. If I remember correctly, five of them—”

“Six, actually,” Your mother mumbles but Jungkook’s piercing gaze tells her she shouldn’t speak anymore.

“I sent you six letters,” He emphasizes the number. “You didn’t send me any emails so I sent you letters hoping you would—"

“What are you talking about? I sent you emails! You didn’t reply to any of them.”

“Come on, Y/N. You never sent me anything.” He says it rather nonchalantly, but it sounds like an accusation to you. Oh, now you were furious too.

“I did! I sent it to kookster and you never replied!” You grumble, the anger you’ve been holding in all these years spilling out. “k-o-o-k-s-t-e-r was your email and I sent you dozens of them and you never replied!” You shout, hands balled into fists as you spelled out his childhood email account.

“That isn’t my email and you know it!” He shouts in return. “You sent that song to my email so don’t even try to weasel your way out of this one.”

“Yeah, I sent that song to the kookster email so what are you—”

“There’s a z! kooksterz, with a z!” He interrupts, now his hands busy with his phone as he furiously scrolls through his email. “Y/N, you know this. Look, if you want to lie at least try to be convincing, won’t you?” He asks, while he slams his phone on the table, his finger shaking with anger as he points to the email address on the top.

You hear a muffled laugh from one of the ladies and although you were angry, you almost felt like laughing too. This whole situation seemed ridiculous.

“This isn’t… I mean I— I swear,” You squint at the email with eyebrows pinched together in confusion. It’s the one you sent with the busanbeats account you had made on a whim. It was addressed to kooksterz, that is with a z as Jungkook has reiterated and you didn’t understand how because— oh wait. You bolt upright the moment it hits you. It was all coming back to you, the shattered pieces of your drunken memory.

That night you had downed multiple bottles of soju and when you finished up the song you deliberated if there was a z in Jungkook’s email. At the time, you couldn’t quite remember what his email was but it just seemed very likely that Jungkook would’ve added the z given that it had been in trend to do that when the two of you were kids, and so that’s what you went with.

Why then were you so adamant back when you were a teen that his email was— oh, you remember now.

“Y-your mother. I asked her back then if I had your email right. She said it was right. K-o-o-k-s-t-e-r, no z…”

“Wait—” His mother panics, hands flailing in the air. “Don’t drag me into this I… I wouldn’t have lied! I had no reason to! I just reiterated to you what he told me on the phone. I must have it written down somewhere in our old phone book.”

“But Jungkook I—”

The chair screeches when Jungkook rises to his feet. The arguing ceases as he pockets his phone and smooths down the front of his shirt.

“This is just— I mean, this is hilarious!” He exclaims, shaking his head. It was all he seemed to be able to do in response to all that he had heard. “I need to take a walk,” He finally says after he takes a final look around the room.

Just like that, he was gone and you were left sitting there, dumbfounded. It was just so much to take in and all you could do was laugh to yourself. Your mother, Jungkook’s mother and all the ladies were talking over each other, trying to explain it all to you but, you couldn’t seem to process any of it.

“I’m uhh, I’m going to go check on Jungkook,” You say suddenly before you got out of your seat, in a quieter manner compared to Jungkook and with a few steps, you were out the front door.

//

and before you think it’s like cliche just you wait lol. this next part, it ends before it gets there but if you’re asian... do you know typical aunty behaviour? that’s what happened. like all the aunties will gather and they will all share one braincell.

//

The first time your mother saw the letter in the mailbox, she thought it had come from her rather eccentric cousin from Seoul. When you were young, you were the only one who would listen to his weird stories. Uncle Fancy, was the nickname you had decided on and he loved it. It was some sort of bond the two of you had and who was your mother to stop that. Every once in a while, he would send lengthy letters from Seoul with a few pictures attached. They were never regular photos, they were rather avant-garde. Some of them bordered on nudity, other times drug use was involved. He wanted to tell real stories through pictures he had said. Your mother obviously wasn’t pleased with this. He also had godawful handwriting. She was not quite sure how the mailman could ever decipher the address he wrote on the front. So, when she saw that rather thick envelope in the mail addressed to you with rather terrible handwriting on the front, she just called out saying “Uncle Fancy sent you a letter.” You grimaced upon hearing that. The last letter he sent quite honestly scared you a little. The pictures were weird, the stories he wrote even weirder. You weren’t quite sure you wanted to subject yourself to that again. “Umm, you can throw it out…” You mumble. “If he asks, just tell him we never got it… please?” Your mother agrees to that, simply placing it in the drawer for the time being before she threw it out.

But, then came another, and a week later, another. It was weird. He never usually sent so many. He said his photography was a work of art, that it took time. It was so odd that he was sending letters so frequently. When the fifth one came in, curiosity got the better of her and she finds herself opening up the letter.

Dear Y/N,

It’s Jungkook! Maybe my other letters got lost in the mail—

 Dear Y/N,

 Oh my god. Your mother panics. Pulling the drawer open with such force that it almost comes out. She opens one of the old letters.

Jungkook here! I —

Your mother gasps, quickly ripping the next letter open

Dear Y/N,

Hello! This is Jungkook

Oh god, oh god, oh god. This next letter, it can’t—

Dear Y/N,

Jungkook ag—

 She stuffs all the letters into the drawer at the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Oh my god, is all she can think.

By now, you’ve openly ranted about how much you hated the boy. You didn’t even want your mother to say his name in the house. So, when she tried to bring up the letters, you wouldn’t even let her complete the sentence. She started the sentence with Jungkook and that’s as far as she got. It seemed like you had a separate fight with him. You were shouting on the phone just the other day and she pretty much thought it was Jungkook you were talking to. Nobody else ever got to your emotions the way the boy did. Perhaps you had a crush on him or that he was your best friend and you felt abandoned, your mother couldn’t really tell. All she knew was that you really hated him now. So, she keeps those letters in the drawer, unsure what to do with them. Perhaps, she’ll bring them up again once you’ve calmed down.

[theworryjournal]

Body Positivist Police

You know the number of body positivist influencers I follow? You wouldn’t believe it but I also follow a few animal/pet profiles on social media that promote body positivism. A very “LOL” moment when I realised that’s how intensely I’m battling body positivism. If there’s one of me, then there are many like me right? A very millennial problem to possess, yet so subjective. You know what I don’t get though, how do I expect someone living outside of my body to help me normalise what’s happening within and on my body? No matter who I follow or what they preach, you can never normalise what I see when I look in the mirror or what I feel when I touch ME. No matter how many stretch mark photos I see, no matter how many uneven breasts I see, no matter how many paunchy human beings I see, its never enough. Do you feel that dissatisfaction? And eventual remorse? Well, I do and I couldn’t fathom, why not? They are doing it, I sort of look like her or him, so its okay. Its not. Its really not (because growing up, I never saw a body like mine up on the big screen and I still don’t see it). Especially those 1000 word essay type captions I see, the ones that do not have a TLDR version saying how they overcame this or that (no disrespect to the ones who have such posts, no offense intended, just normalising), still doesn’t help. 

I’ve batted an issue with weight, almost all my life (at least since I hit puberty, in my head that’s when my life actually began). Not weight exactly because I’ve weighed healthy (according to all the WHO standards) but the way I “looked” to myself, in the mirror. I was never satisfied. I always found my thighs too heavy or “thunderous” if you wanna call it. I’ve always found myself too paunchy, there have been times when I’ve breathed short and heavy so that I’m able to hold my shape at a party (WTF right?). I’ve always caught myself staring for too long at my classmates’ (in high school) legs or arms, how they don’t jiggle and mine always did (and still do). I would starve myself, skip lunch and feed my lunch to the dogs. 4 years of braces and hating on my frizzy and curly hair, you would think growing up helps right? Newsflash, not really. Freud was right. if you don’t figure your childhood out, it’ll be your midlife crisis. Then came my 20s, 4 years of braces and 3 teeth short after, joined college and suddenly I was one of those girls that men looked more than twice. Men and women of all races wanted to look at me twice or felt the need to tell me that I looked “good” or they like how I’m dressed or how it accentuates so and so. I was being talked about, I was a standard to many girls. I couldn’t believe myself. I would still look at myself in the mirror, unsure. When I was eventually used to it, I was satisfied. My idea of satisfaction is allowing myself to eat an extra serving of rice (yes, I’m South Asian) or more meat or extra desserts. I discovered this new found confidence that glowed within me and helped me walk with my chin up because men wanted me. They wanted my sex. I was so confident, I was audacious. Happy. This new treatment mollified everything and I soon forgot I ever had issues with the way I looked. You know, until I was in my early 20s, I didn’t think I was a looker. That someone would look at me twice. It was in my 20s, that I heard someone call me beautiful. Pretty. A looker. Hot. Sexy. Cute. That hair is exquisite on you. Then I graduated and transitioned to my mid-20s. Being a professional and all that jazz. 

Slowly that confidence began to chip away. Maybe because I didn’t have men/women constantly validating me? Or that constant flow of attention? Then came the string of online dates and I got my next (best, apparently) constant source of attention and validation. I wasn’t out there hunting for validation for my wounded ego, it just came my way and of course I lapped it up. I was so used to that by now. I was hungry. With the “Do you know the kind of effect you have on men” to “Come on! You are being modest. You are fetching for compliments, aren’t you?” Well, no. I’m not. I really don’t know how I look. I don’t “believe” how I look. I mean, how can you believe in something you have no understanding of right? I also began noticing that every problem/hurdle I faced in my life, the first to erode, was the way I looked. That’s when I realised that the most fragile part of me is that, what I see when I look at the mirror. Bad relationship and I “let myself go” and ate whatever I could eat. That’s when I saw the scale dip to the higher end, something that’s never happened before. And now, I was unhealthy and of course I didn’t like what I saw either. That didn’t affect me then because he didn’t think I looked bad. He was attracted to me, even if I wasn’t. Then he left and the veil lifted. An alarm went off and I saw her. Me. 

I was sad. Moping everyday. I stopped looking at the mirror. I stopped dressing well. My self-esteem left the building. Being quarantined didn’t help for sure. I knew I was dipping into being unhealthy and finally found that courage in me to face myself and my body. I started eating healthy. Tried not to deprive myself of anything. I exercised (overdid it in the beginning to an extent where I almost injured myself but now I’m learning). It wasn’t easy. I would beat myself bloody (metaphorically) if I cheated or overate or didn’t stick to my regime or didn’t exercise. Now, I’m slowly transitioning. I’m having conversations with my body in front of the mirror. I love looking at myself in the mirror now. I love my hair. I love my skin. I love my stretch marks. I love eating cupcakes. I eat loads of rice. I’ve a paunch and I love it. I sometimes make it talk to me, you know like how kids do it. Yet, there are days when its really difficult. When I’m bloated and I feel like everything I did has gone for a toss. When I look at my arms and think they’re too large. At least, those days are lesser in number than the happy ones. I like taking pictures of myself now and uploading them, regardless of who thinks what. Especially pictures that show my paunch or arms or thighs. I breathe deeply and through my belly now. I finally don’t add as much value as I did when someone compliments me. I thank them and tell myself you bet I do. Because I do. I really do. 

Today I’m 26, a vegan (because animal husbandry is going to drive us to extinction), slightly overweight, paunchy, thunder thighs, beautiful curly hair and hairy sometimes. I eat healthy and unhealthy, I exercise whenever I can and I’m happy. I’m “satisfied”. I still follow those pages and like every post because I’m supportive. I realised that no matter how much positive energy you surround yourself with, its never gonna be enough until you fill your insides with it. I look in the mirror everyday because I like who I see, she makes me happy. I don’t upload photos so that someone else validates it or to help someone else see if I can, so can you. No. I do it because it makes me happy. I’m celebrating, everyday. This body. This smile. This hair. This skin. Every time I hit a block and have difficulty accepting a part of my body, I photograph it and look at it again and again. Until I’ve normalised it for ME. When someone says, do you have any idea the kinda effect you have on people, I genuinely know the answer to that because I’ve that same effect on myself, when I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve created this masterpiece today and I’ll fiercely protect her. 

Its funny how I came to realise that I need to normalise it for myself, every time I’m intoxicated and my inhibitions dropped, I would see someone else in the mirror. A woman fierce from within. Appealing from within. Her personality defining her features. Her personality and her looks amalgamating and reflecting off of my mirror. I would suddenly find every part of my body so appealing and almost turning on. When it would wear off, I wouldn’t see that anymore. That’s when I realised, I’ve to do it for me. Just like how all these influencers are doing it for themselves. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still love makeup, dressing up and being complimented. The only difference is I do it only to accentuate what I already am and have and not to change the way I look or am. 

TLDR- You gotta do it. You gotta do it for yourself. I mean, you live in that body. You feel its feelings. You masturbate with that body. You dress that body. How can someone else do it for you? 

The irony is that my profession is helping others eat healthy and maintain a better lifestyle, I’m a nutritionist. I didn’t plan to be one at all. That’s a story for another time. The universe sure does work in mysterious ways. 

Normalise it. Feel it. Accept it. Love it. We’re on each other’s team. Kinda tired of having to throw my hands in the air. 

[pestopascal]

how do you go about commissioning someone? i want to but i hear a lot of bad stuff every so often and ive seen you mention certain artists being behind on contact so im not sure what to expect

quite frankly commissioning someone is absolutely terrifying and needs to have a high level of communication from both the person you are commissioning as well as yourself. the one major artist i have said something about and to, turns out, have had a long history of disappearing for months at a time or not being good and running off with money. found out that after i finally got something from one of them, but the other who i’ve been waiting since january on a response from... im emailing every second week and @ ing on twitter constantly by this point considering it was an upfront payment. and like i said about the first one... if commissions are your primary source of income... there is a level of expectation. i know from social media the second one has been involved in a lot of public work and whatnot, which i do support, but all i need is one email to be like “hey sorry im busy with other work”. some people don’t tell you that. or you find out through their tumblr their laptop is broken. it can be very frustrating. or they run donation and commission sale posts in between not doing your commission. so...

and as for you the person commissioning i think people vastly underestimate what you need to provide vs what ppl actually do provide. if you have some specific pose in mind provide photo refs/explain it. you dont need to do a characters backstory, 3 pages, no line breaks. summarise. clear cut on colours and clothing. and if you leave it up to interpretation then you’re gonna end up with something you may have to be like hey sorry lets correct this, which wastes time and effort and money on everyone’s behalf. like spend time going through god like pinterest or whatever to actually source what it is you are looking for. you’d be amazed that people rly to appreciate it, and also esp when artists run limited spots, the ones that are actually providing references and so on are the ones that do get picked because it makes it easier to then provide a higher quality product. its not about remembering urls and favouritism that some people like to claim, its so that they can spend more time on something for you.

that said, commissioning someone and seeing something you have in mind come to life is brilliant. personally i do have a preference for commissioning friends, because well 1) communication (sophia is so good for it), 2) its so funny dropping into the dms like kicking down their door and throwing money at them to draw something for you (something i do to hoiist and daisy regularly) and 3) idk love and support friends!!! (always all of them) also with friends too i do ask people if theyre trying something out like animations, new painting style, etc. if they wanna test on my comm i dont mind because in some instances it also helps them like work out if they wanna use it as an offer on a comm yknow?

when it comes to artists (or writers in some instances) that you dont personally know, if i cant exactly find the information on their tumblr (which happens quite rarely but does happen) i just ask. what do they need. what do they want. also turnaround time. there are people out there with art/writing styles that you do adore, or something specific theyve done in the past you want to almost have recreated for yourself. talk to them! ask if they’re okay redoing like idk a deconstructed helmet or a watercolour tarot card or a 3k word third pov fic revolving around reconnecting 5yrs later (plummmmm).  but like too ask about payments, if you can potentially do half and half (a lot of artists are honestly open to this but you just have to ask), what are their routines like with providing sketches and changes (most tend to have information available on their tumblr but... still), etc etc. and dont be surprised if you ask for some heavy tattooing and jewellery and flowers that the price goes up? ive seen people be genuinely shocked like youre asking for heavy detail... hello.... but communication is key and its also on you to ask and tell the things you want and need.

as for writing commissions, personally, kind of almost in the same boat? if theres a particular scene, a visual reference helps to be like a guiding key to get to that point, but also specific words, like talking about hands, the colour purple. personally too with writing comms i have done, i do sometimes go and search for like oc tags for more visual stuff and then translate it to text. some of my favourite pieces have been exchanges more than commissions, with crashed-down through the dragon age pieces we’ve done, and utilising the tags there. also like i ask if you want the pov to follow someone specific, do you want first, second or third, any particular time of day, etc etc etc. like this does affect tone and flow. also with mine i offer snippets as i move through to see if the phrasing is right, am i doing something appropriate to the character/s, as with art you have the. pose and emotion in one position as such yknow? with writing its a movement and kind of links through it all. if like one sentence is off, the tone could be wrong, and changes everything.

also, if something is out of your price range, i have seen an upswing in people asking that just let someone know. inquire, work it out, but if its too much just politely turn it down. yes, emails get lost and tumblr is notorious for not flagging messages so there can be unintentional ghosting but yeah i think thats a good habit to get into.

tldr; dont be afraid to commission people, seriously, its very rewarding for everyone around. be polite, ask questions, keep on top of the communication. dont be an asshole, be clear about what youre after, be kind, enjoy

[dirtyallodyke]

On self-harm via going through the ace discourse tag

CW: discussion of self-injury, mental illness

Okay, regardless about your stance on ace discourse and whether you're an exclusionist or an inclusionist, we need to leave that behind right now and have a conversation about the concept of looking through the ace discourse tag as a form of self-harm. Because there are some serious, harmful issues around this. I'm going to preface this post by saying that I am literally a self-injury researcher who is part of a research group on youth mental health, with a specialty in self-injury and LGBT youth mental health, so I know what I'm talking about.

Firstly, let's talk about what self-harm is, and what it is not. In order for a behaviour to be considered self-harm, it needs to satisfy these conditions:

Intentional / deliberate,

Not an unintended side-effect of another behaviour (e.g. smoking, eating disorders, drug use),

Not part of a socially- or culturally-sanctioned behaviour (e.g. body modifications, tattoos, some cultural rituals that involve damage to the body),

Results in, or is intended to result in, damage to bodily tissue.

That last one is the most important here, because it specifies that self-harm must be physical in nature. It doesn't specify the extent, so this can include anything from scratching oneself with pins through cutting or burning oneself to more extreme forms such as breaking one's bones or ingesting poisonous substances.

A lot of people insist that what I'm talking about is actually self-injury, whereas they're referring to self-harm, which doesn't have to be physical and can include deliberately exposing oneself to material that will make them experience negative feelings. This is perhaps a misunderstanding more than a deliberate attempt to deny facts – maybe where people get confused is the difference between what is known as Deliberate Self-Harm (DSH) and what is known as Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI).

The above definition refers to DSH, and the defining characteristic of this versus NSSI is that DSH may include behaviours that are intended to result in death, i.e. suicidal behaviour. This is why it includes things such as taking large overdoses or ingesting poison or any other behaviour that we might not conceive of as being self-injury because the person is attempting to take their own life. What we usually think of as self-injury is, in fact, NSSI, where there is an additional condition: the behaviour is NOT intended to cause death (hence the "non-suicidal" part of the name). It may possibly still result in death, but this would be accidental and not the intention of the person doing the behaviour. NSSI often predicts suicidal behaviour in that people who start off engaging in self-injury are at a higher risk of later attempting suicide, so they are related but distinct concepts.

So, the difference between the two is subtle, and there is overlap, but both still require the act of deliberately causing physical harm to one's body. When people talk about self-harming via ace discourse (i.e. deliberately generating feelings of distress), what they're talking about is not actually self-harm in any form … instead, what they may be doing is deliberately triggering themselves. This is not a value judgement, as in, I'm not making light of this behaviour or suggesting that it is frivolous or anything like that. But it is not self-harm.

Let me explain. Self-triggering is, again, often related to self-injury, but it is a completely separate phenomenon. For example, people who don't self-injure but may have other issues can self-trigger. The most obvious, and probably most common, example is people with eating disorders. Most people, whether or not they have lived experience with eating disorders, know about "thinspo" or "pro-ana". As someone who has struggled with eating disorders for 16 years, I am very familiar with this concept and have definitely engaged in it myself when I was younger and unwell. For those that don't know, "thinspo" or "pro-ana" involves viewing material that triggers or reinforces existing disordered thoughts and feelings, in order to "inspire" continued adherence to eating disordered behaviours. You might say, "That's stupid, they're basically giving themselves an eating disorder, why don't they just not do that?" but remember that people who do this are already unwell and the way they think and behave makes sense to them even if it doesn't make sense to people who don't have that illness. I am oversimplifying, there is a lot more to it than this, but I'm just using this as an example to illustrate my point.

This has also been observed in people with addictions, and people with depression, often in the form of attentional bias – they tend to pay more attention to stimuli that are related to the substance they are addicted to (for people with addiction) or with negative undertones (for people with depression) than non-related or neutral/positive stimuli. This isn't deliberate and they usually aren't aware they are doing this, but it is one of the many ways in which their mental illness maintains itself.

This self-triggering is very often a precursor to physically harming behaviours – but notice I am talking about people with eating disorders or addictions, and the definition of self-harm specifically excludes side-effects of illnesses like these because physically harming oneself is the main goal of self-injury, but not of eating disorders or addictions.

However, self-triggering is also very common in people who struggle with self-injury. This is something I have witnessed first-hand (and participated in) when I was younger and struggling with self-injury. There is a lot of material online that is the self-harm equivalent of thinspo/pro-ana: people sharing photos of their self-injury, sharing "tips" on how to self-injure more effectively or how to hide self-injury from others in order to continue doing it undetected, etc. It's awful and dangerous, but it is something done by people who are unwell and should not be judged negatively. The reasons we do these behaviours are numerous and complex and not relevant to the discussion.

The point is, self-triggering is a PRECURSOR to self-harm, but is NOT self-harm in itself. Now, when I have argued with inclusionists about the concept of self-harm via discourse tags, and how this trivialises actual self-harm, many have said "Uhhh I actually physically self-harm as well as this kind of self-harm so stfu you nasty aphobe!" And, you know, it's really sad when ANYONE is in enough distress that they resort to self-injury to cope with this – but just because you also self-injure, it still does not make self-triggering the same as self-harm. You may self-trigger which may then lead on to you self-harming, but it also may not lead to you self-harming. The act of self-triggering alone is NOT sufficient to be called self-harm.

You might say, "Who cares? This is just semantics! I still self-harm!" but it DOES matter because it trivialises self-harm. There are many people who also consider themselves self-harmers because they self-trigger by going into the ace discourse tag but don't actually physically self-injure – do you REALLY think their experience of self-injury is the same as someone who cuts themselves???? As someone who also started self-harming 16 years ago, I think the fuck not! I can tell you that the way I have been treated as a self-injurer has been horrific in the past, and the negative consequences of my self-injury are still impacting my life today, years after I stopped self-injuring. The pain and the mistreatment and the stigma I have been subjected to is not even in the same ballpark as someone who deliberately makes themselves sad because a bunch of mean aphobes are saying that cishet aces aren't lgbt, and it is deeply insulting to any person who has ever self-injured.

It is also pathologising what is actually a normal behaviour – most people seek out stimuli that reflect how they are feeling (think of listening to sad music when you are sad as an example), and this is very common. By perpetuating the idea that looking through ace discourse to make yourself sad is actually self-harm, and not a completely normal and human behaviour, you are causing people to self-pathologise/self-stigmatise, and that has been shown in research to have deleterious effects on mental health that would likely not occur otherwise. So, not only does it harm actual self-injurers by trivialising their experiences, it harms non-self-injurers by pathologising their behaviour.

There is also the problem of whether or not you can actually say that ace-discourse-tag-viewing counts as self-triggering, because I feel like that is pretty trivialising of especially PTSD, but also other mental illnesses in which triggers may be a component. I'm not going to discuss that here because that is an entirely different conversation, but I think it bears thinking about – is being "triggered" by ace discourse anywhere near the same as being triggered by reminders of severe trauma? I don't think so. But again, that's another conversation.

TLDR: looking through ace discourse tags in order to feel worse is not self-harm. It may be a precursor to self-harm, but it is not self-harm itself, and calling it such is harmful to both actual self-harmers, and non-self-harmers. Regardless of your take on the discourse, stop spreading this harmful idea! Ableism and minimisation of the experience of mental illness is NOT relevant to ace discourse!

[Edit: breaking up paragraphs for increased readability ]

[stevethehairington]

It’s not just that he didn’t say “say two words on camera” he also refused to take a picture with someone who had a pride flag, despite the fact that they paid hundreds of dollars to take a picture with him

first of all, i didn’t hear about this one

second of all, i mean, look. i stand by my original view that celebrities aren’t entitled to their fans, they don’t owe them shit, they can and will and should say no if they don’t want to do something a fan asks them to do. does that mean we’re going to agree with their decision? no! celebrities aren’t perfect and sometimes they say and do things that aren’t always the best or don’t always fit our “perfect picture” of them, which oftentimes, leads to fans getting like super upset, which is a little bit worrisome because, really, we shouldn’t be holding celebrities such a high set of standards that when they mess up, when they make a mistake, when they act human, we think its the end of the world. and because of this, when fans that have “bad” experiences with celebrities report out these bad experiences, a lot of times they exaggerate and make it seem a whole lot worse than it is. 

also, i would just like to add that out of all the like stories of fans getting to meet james, my own experiences included, he’s been nothing but a complete sweetheart to everyone. like are we really going to let like one or two “bad” experiences (that, honestly, seem off base to me bc like. the video one those people were clearly harassing him with that. like. they were.) dictate how we see a person? and are we really going to “cancel” him over one or two not so great experiences? i mean come on people. that’s kind of ridiculous if you ask me.

i got a little off track there, so back to your original concern in your ask. like i said, i havent heard about this one, so i dont know the details of it. but. a couple things: first of all. idk how much photo op tickets were but based off the prices for entrance to the con (which were similar to the con i met him at) im going to assume that the photo op prices were similar to what i paid for mine. that being said they probably did not pay hundreds to meet him. regardless though, no matter how much you pay that’s shitty if they straight up dont take a photo with you. but im guessing thats not what happened. they probably got a photo regardless but it wasnt the photo they wanted so theyre butthurt over that. which. whatever. at the con i was at while i was waiting in line for my photo op the security guard there literally told us that the celebrities we’re meeting have every right to say no to whatever poses we want to do with them. 

also we don’t know why he said no to that. there’s a lot of different reasons why he could have said no and i think way too many people are quick to jump straight to homophobia as the answer and like. sorry to say this but that isnt always the answer? like ik thats sort of controversial to say, but as a bi woman myself i feel secure in saying that just bc someone doesnt want to do something lgbt influenced doesnt mean its because theyre a homophobe okay? and like i said, i dont personally know pj, but from what ive heard him say in interviews and panels and articles and stuff, he really doesnt seem homophobic. he’s had a lot of actually really thoughtful things to say about the lgbt community so. yeah. that’s just my opinion though.

i’d also like to point out, we werent there so we’re literally just taking the word of someone who was influenced by emotion when they posted about this so like. idk. emotion definitely does a lot to color an experience. and it can lead to people jumping to some pretty out there conclusion sometimes.

TLDR: i’m not going to let one or two “bad” stories in a sea of good ones (my own experience included) influence how i think of someone who is a human being that doesnt owe anyone anything. cancel culture is fucked and i’m sick of hearing about celebrities getting cancelled for stupid ass bullshit like this, especially when we only hear one (1) side of the story, which is almost always exclusively the so-called wronged fan’s side. we can only truly fully explain our own actions and trying to explain why someone else did or said something usually just leads to misattributions which can be very harmful.

and i’m genuinely not trying to start an argument with anyone about this so if you don’t agree with me great. good for you. that’s fine. please keep that to yourself and don’t try to argue with me.

[agentzakura]

LoveFanFest 2019

Ok, so a lot of people asked me what happened at #LFF2019 since I was clearly upset last week. Things have settled down a bit so I figured I’d spend time today making my thread. 

TLDR; ClexaCon is a dream compared to LoveFanFest. LFF needs better communication and customer service. Lack of transparency and asking for money left and right… The queer fandom deserves better than that. Listen to Laura Hollis.

https://lovehollistein.tumblr.com/post/151126971734/you-deserve-better

So first of all, the good stuff. I did like my trip to Barcelona. I got to see a really beautiful city and hang out with friends I’d never met IRL or haven’t seen in a long time. It was a wonderful experience from that aspect. When I first joined the fandom I asked Gabi what the best part of cons was and her answer was meeting other fans. She was absolutely right. While I’m grateful I get to geek out on my faves and have my briefest moments with them, I loved talking to other people in line and getting to know them in person after interacting with them online. 

The actual con was frustrating and disappointing. Before anyone tries to invalidate my experience, please keep it to yourself or DM me. There are far too many people jumping to defend LFF without any context. Things like, “It’s hard to make a con"… "Cons aren’t free”…”It’s just European culture.” Or even “It wasn’t that bad.” Comments like that don’t help at all. I’ve been to big cons before and I’ve volunteered at them. If I had the time, I would start my own convention and almost did. Believe me. I don’t take writing things like this lightly. Also, the heat wave didn’t help anything but to blame behavior on that alone is nonsensical. 

LoveFanFest as a whole was just not organized very well. We received the schedule a few days prior. It was filled with mistakes. They sold a lot of the extras at a discount months earlier and if I had known that things would have conflicted I wouldn’t have bought the things I did. Especially since their attitude is sorry no refunds or exchanges no matter what. 

Day 0 

Registration was a mess and the lines made no sense. 1 line to get your main badge, 1 line for Earpers, 1 line for Creampuffs, the last line for other guests. I immediately regretted the handful of Earper extras I bought. I spent 2 hours in line longer than my other friends because of it. 

The ticketing didn’t make sense. It was confusing figuring out which one was Sat/Sun. They looked nice printed but got collected and thrown away. They’re easily lost and it was a pain to try to get them all with the multiple lines. Why can’t you use Eventbrite digital tickets as they were intended? I heard after the fact that tickets weren’t even checked properly. One person couldn’t switch their ticket, but went up on the other day anyway and they didn’t pay attention to the day on it. Some people were able to 

I also missed the beach clean up my friend organized, so that day was so disappointing. 

Day 1 

Breakfast with the guests was one of the few highlights. I like how it was split into smaller groups. 3 guests max with 10 attendees I think. At ClexaCon is was really hard to hear whatever was saying because all the breakfasts/lunches were at the same time and I felt like I was shouting across the table. In fact, at ClexaCon Natasha had to walk up to people individually to talk to them because she couldn’t hear them. 

I bought more extras for Hollstein. I knew I had more autographs for the things I brought and got more photo ops and selfies. Early in the morning I brought it to the staff’s attention that the Hollstein panel and my Mel and Isabella photo ops overlapped. I’m a Creampuff more than anything, so that was a really big deal for me. I asked if I could swap the tickets instead for the Sunday. Sunday their photo ops occurred when I had nothing else scheduled. In all fairness, the person at the extras register passing out the tickets was really nice. They were really patient with me and assured me everything was fine. I told them about what I wanted to do and they said they couldn’t change the tickets because they were “limited” and may be sold out for the next day. Another staff member assured me that there would be 15 min that doesn’t overlap with the Hollstein panel so I can take my pictures before it. I was just told to tell the volunteer at the ops that I needed to make a panel and skip to the front of the line. The original staff member told me to come back and talk to them if what I was told didn’t work out. I was grateful and hoped I didn’t have to come back… Of course, it wasn’t that simple. 

There was no volunteer at the front of the line. The volunteers I did find had no idea what was going on. The Hollstein panel was about to start so I had to run back upstairs and talk to them again. I was passed onto another staff member. She seemed to be one of the head people. She called over a Spanish speaking volunteer to escort me down and get me to the head of the line and I got them done. I still missed half of the first Hollstein panel because of it though. I ran in behind one of my friends in press who also had the same conflict. Of course, no recording is allowed so who knows when I’ll get to see that footage. 

I don’t understand why photo ops tickets are per person. Maybe I was spoiled at ClexaCon with 4 people max to a photo. I bought an Earper trio to do a BayHaught photo with a friend. This was my first con where I’d meet Mel. We found out that we had to pay for another ticket just for her to join in mine. Which is insane. It literally takes the same amount time to have one more person join. Trios are not cheap. Around €130 for one person for less than 5 seconds to pose?! My friend was nice enough to pay to be in the photo anyway.

  Autographs were ok up to a certain point. I stood in line for Natasha and Elise because I wanted to make sure I got to see them.  I wasn’t looking forward to getting the Earp autographs. Dom's line was crazy and went outside the door and I assume around the lobby. Plus, the trio photos hadn’t printed yet, so I was essentially waiting for that. The reason I bought Dom, Kat, and Mel’s autographs that day is because I had the photo ops. For some reasons, LFF only has one person in charge of the printing and it took forever to get them on the tables. The trio took the longest. When I was done with Natasha's and Elise’s line, I went to Mel’s and waited. Again, most of my friends are Creampuffs so it was basically just me in line waiting. I wanted to see if someone else could get the autograph for me, but that didn’t go well either. I got to the front of Mel’s line with nothing to sign. The trio photos weren’t out yet. I couldn’t swap my autographs for the next day. The one rule LFF was very adamant about regardless of your situation. The poor volunteer had to call one of the staff members over to see what could be done. It was the same woman from last time who had a volunteer take me to the photo ops. I think she said her name was Maria or Michelle or some name that started with an M. I told her the only thing I wanted to get signed was the trio photo and it wasn’t printed yet. She told me that LFF never guaranteed that the photos would be done by the end of the day. Essentially, she was telling me I was SOL. I asked if I could switch my autographs to the next day so I had my photo to be signed. She flat out told me no. That’s when I started to get upset and asked her what I needed to do then. LFF doesn’t give headshots for them to sign. You have to pay extra for those. She told me I needed to get something else signed. The fact that I didn’t have anything else didn’t matter. It was frustrating because at that point I really didn’t care and would be damned if I had to pay any more money because they were inflexible with their tickets. 

That’s when things got really bad. As I was trying to explain why I didn’t want to pay more money for a headshot I didn’t even want just to use these tickets, the staff member told me I needed to stop yelling and being rude or they wouldn’t help me.  There was no yelling. There was me trying to explain my frustration with what they were doing and asking them to come to some sort of compromise. I’ve worked in customer service. I’ve had people cuss me out or try to attack me. What I was doing was not threatening. I get it. You have policies. You can’t bend the rules for everyone. But what really got t o me was she then she proceeded to accuse me of not asking the right questions and projected the blame on me. I can still see her in my face, repeatedly saying, “Well, did you ask? Did you ask?” She didn’t believe me. It was frustrating. It’s not like I’m trying to score free things. I just wanted to get what I paid for.

My friends saved the day by finding the trio photo and M person let me go to the front of the line for all my trouble, but it wasn’t a redeeming experience. Instead of being happy to meet Mel for the first time, Kat, and Dom, I was on edge and could hardly speak. Most of the disagreement happened to the side of Mel’s auto table. Mel was so nice and hilarious. Kat was so nice and understood why I brought my daughter to the M&G at CCUK. Dom and her handlers were really sweet and made sure that people in line had water and a little something to eat. I can say I shared a bowl of chips with Dom now. 😄 But I felt like absolute garbage by the end of it. 

I had two more autographs with Mel for Sunday, but I honestly didn’t want to deal with it anymore.

Day 2

The second day was pretty low key until I thought I left the Mel autograph tickets at the Airbnb. I honestly had no interest to line up in the line that never ends for a second day so I was giving them away. I went to the Airbnb and had a mini breakdown because 1) I couldn’t find the tickets (I found them in my wallet a little later. 2) In trying to hurry, I also left my agenda at home and looked at the schedule. I saw that I had missed the single photo ops for Natasha and Elise. Time to panic again.

I had a Trio Carmilla photo op and a Hollstein duo photo op, so we thought that they would be ok with me doing my singles at the same time. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy… I took my trio photo and the staff and the handlers weren’t sure how to handle the situation. At first I was told that I would need to fall back in line and do it after the duo. I was completely fine with this because I had to get a prop I had left down the hall with my friends. Then I was told that I needed to do the solos right that second because the photographer was “on time” and didn’t feel like they wouldn’t have time to do the solos. Not even for the minute or so it would take me to get my prop and get back to them. I was calm about it as they talked amongst themselves, but honestly couldn’t believe that it was happening again. It took longer for them to argue about what to do than it probably would have taken me to get the prop.

I stood there just watching the interaction in disbelief when Natasha came over to me and asked what was going on and I lost it. Not like anger, but just crying out of frustration from the situation. Tears flowing freely as my emotions overwhelmed me.This was supposed to be my solo trip and fun half way across the world and I’m being told yet again, they might not honor the tickets I bought. Natasha assured me it would work out. We ended up doing the photo ops after the Hollstein duo… But two other fans had single photo ops they did after… So I did understand why they made a big fuss out of me doing it. I was done at the point where I just couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t enjoy the last Hollstein panel and closing ceremony was hard to sit through. My only moments of reprieve happened when I found some Creampuffs and hung out in their hotel room for a bit before the closing.

Autographs after the second day were not too bad. I still gave away my autographs to EarpItForward. I had to buy a photo of Mel for them to get signed. I didn’t like my photo ops with Isabella, so I ended up buying her headshot too. I had picked one I saw originally that I really liked, but then I saw someone get another Isabella head shot, which was even better. I asked if I could switch it because I didn’t know that the other con photo was available. Thankfully I did get it, but not without an offhanded comment from M person about how I should have asked before then I would have known. Like why say things like that?

I’m just glad that Natasha and Elise were really sweet and took time with us. Elise is pretty masterful with the selfies. Natasha also made sure we were happy with it before we left too. I had a couple of friends say they were rushed during the last moments, but thankfully I was at least saved from that. I even forgot to do my selfie with Natasha and they let me go back up and take it.

My nightmare continues as I wait to see if I get the rest of the digital print downloads I purchased. There’s some obscure issue where if you don’t click some check box correctly you only download one picture and then you have to contact them to get the rest. I swear the pop up I had asked if it was ok to download multiples and I clicked accept... I still only got one photo. I’m incredibly frustrated because they tweeted that but didn’t include it in any emails with the photos. How is someone who doesn’t have Twitter suppose to know? They also posted all the M&G photos, but haven’t bothered to message me back. 

Honestly, I don’t get how #Clexacapocalypse became a thing. My experience with them far exceeded the miserable experience I had at LoveFanFest. I’d honestly go to Barcelona again to hangout with friends, but things seriously need to change before I even think about that convention again. I wish the people who also had an issue would speak up as well. Nothing will change if no one says anything. Just my 2 cents.

[theclaravoyant]

is someone after babysitting or “babysitting ;)”? : a guide for people who advertise odd jobs online bc other people r gross

hi everyone!

I am writing this because today I received what has got to be at least my 50th unsolicited request for sexual services when what I was actually advertising was babysitting. I have some additional notes/clarification below the cut (tldr; swerfs don’t interact) but for now here’s my 5 steps to look out for this and know when to Shut It Down. This works 99% of the time, I swear.

They ask if you do babysitting (or whatever the job is) even if you say it in the ad. You may or may not be able to hear the ;) in their voice. You’ll probably learn how that sounds if you don’t know already.

They ask how much you charge, even if you say it in the ad. Again, you may or may not be able to hear the ;) in their voice. It’s because they’re impressed at the thought of getting sex at such a low price. Mm original.

They ask how old you are, even if you say it in the ad. This is a big red flag to me because “she didn’t look X” or “she told me she was X” tends to be used as a defence when things like sex or sexting is prosecuted.

By this point in the conversation, I have been through so many of these I almost definitely know what’s going on and whether or not I’m about to drop them like a hot potato so I ask “how many kids do you have?”

MOST people who are trying to solicit you for sex haven’t put that much thought or effort into it so this will confuse them. Most people who actually want babysitting aren’t confused about the number of kids they have. Most people who are trying to solicit sex from you will also not be able to resist giving themselves away with some kind of answer like “One... One big one.” and that’s what I mean by the ;) in their voice

And there’s your handy five step guide to When to Shut It Down.

In addition, here’s my 3 most valuable tips on How to Shut It Down:

Don’t argue with them or rant at them. Just hang up. Stop messaging. Block them. If you are using a website, report them.

Don’t send them photos. I’m not just talking about nudes, I mean ANY photos. Not of yourself, not of your ID, nothing. If they are genuine, they will end up meeting you, and you can show them documentation then.

If you do decide to meet them, even if they don’t seem suspicious, always ALWAYS ALWAYS tell someone where you are going, and always ALWAYS ALWAYS have a phone with you in case you need to shut it down later than you thought. If you are a minor, I also recommend getting someone to drop you off and getting the dropper to meet the applicant.

I have plenty more tips where that came from so if you want any more advice, let me know, otherwise..... be safe folks

(some additional notes on the intent of this post below the cut)

Note I: I have no issue with sex-related business, though the practices thereof can definitely be questionable as I’m sure literally everybody is aware by this point. I am writing this post because people who are advertising for non-sexual, highly G-rated jobs such as babysitting, will 99% of the time have experience at least one unsolicited “~interpretation~” of this as an invitation for sex. This is especially concerning to me because babysitting is how I made most of my money as a minor and I want to protect others from the general grossness of - pause for effect but not surprise - the human male.

Note II: “not all-” I see where you’re coming from but also out of at least 50 solicitations only one has ever been female and no woman has ever tried to trick me into seeing her genitals. 95% of the men who have messaged me think they’re real clever about it. get ur shit together guys c’mon)

Note III: this advice pertains mainly to your average douchecanoe, not so much evil people who are into kidnapping etc. fortunately the average douchecanoe is much more common - unfortunately, advice on how to recognise and avoid them is less common in my experience

[earthvsjazz]

How to Properly Watch Poltergeist - By EarthVsJazz

A Guide To Watching My Favorite Movie of All Time (1982)

Listening to: Doug Stanhope Podcast #312 

Playing: With iMovie trying to put out My First YT Reaction Video

Eating: Dollar General Sour Neon Crawlers (Gummy Worms)

Drinking: Soda 

Smoking: Colorado Best Dabs “Mother Earth”

     The other day I had the Pleasure of watching Poltergeist the other day with some of the people from the cast on Rabbit (Link Below)...

Back in the day, This was a tradition for me. On Halloween...I didn’t dress up or pass out candy....but I would have a certain ritual that I invented to make me happy while enjoying my favorite movie of all time...

Over the last couple of months I have been collecting some Poltergeist Memorabilia and I realized that it had been too long since watching this movie...

I gave this list on cast the other day...but I wanted in depth to be able to show others how I would go about enjoying any of three movies in this series...

So here is a list of How to Properly Watch Poltergeist:

#1 Own Poltergeist

      This might seem redundant to say, but in todays world it’s easy to forget that people used to buy movies...I come from the world of Video Stores, My Father worked in Video Distribution for years, I still remember the Huge show room floor, where I would spend hours looking at every movie cover..

    My Parents used to Own a Video Store, As a teenager (1998-1999)I worked for Hollywood Video when DVD’s first came out....I was with Blockbuster from 2005-2008 right before the Titanic Sank..and was replaced by Redbox...I was there for it all...

   I want to stress that everyone should have this movie in their collection...Not on the Cloud...Tangible, physical Media that you can put on your shelf...If you can’t there are other popular Streaming services that have this movie...Own it, don’t steal it...You’re better then that..(Enjoy a stock photo of the 80′s Big Clamshell VHS version)

#2 Watch with Someone

Yes this is an important Step...Not to be taken likely...I’ve Said this on cast...I will say it here, and I will one day make a T-Shirt

“Being Alone Should Be Illegal” - EarthVsjazz

The best way to enjoy this movie, and to make sure that future generations continue to enjoy this cinematic masterpiece is to watch with Friends or Family..A loved one....A Co-Worker, Your Grandma, Your Cousins, anyone you can invite to watch this will do..

Bouns Points: Someone who hasnt seen it.

Double Bonus Points: If that someone also is under 10, and hasn’t seen it yet. This movie terrified me as Child...

#3 Turn Down the AC!

     It Needs to Be Cold. Like Really COLD! Colder then You have ever had your AC...If at all possible rent a Hotel, or cover your entire house in loose broken ice cubes from your refrigerator... 

I recommend watching this in the Dead of winter, or hacking your AC system to allow for colder then normally possible temperatures...

I cannot stress this enough....If you have the chance to  watch this movie in a igloo,ice cave or Fortress of Solitude...Take the Chance...YOLO!

This Step should be done during the prep for the movie to ensure maximum viewing pleasure...

*Life Hack: If you are unable to get your AC unit to the proper temperature (69°F or Below) Top off with Freon .

#3 Meal Prep

Supplies Needed:

1 -  Bowl, Possibly Ceramic...If you’re not a knuckle dragging neanderthal, you should already own some Stoneware on hand...

*Life Hack...Cover in water and Place in Freezer for at least 20 Min before showtime

1 - 1/2 Gallon of RED LABEL WHOLE MILK (Depends on how many Guests you are entertaining) 

This is non-negotiable...I cannot and do not drink Milk anymore...It destroys my insides up like Broken Glass...but that doesn’t mean I can’t live vicariously through you the reader...No Almond, Soy, Powder, 2%, None of that will do..If you drink Skim milk, you should stop torturing yourself....WHOLE MILK that is as cold as you can get it with out actually freezing it.

1 - Giant Bag of Coco Dyno-Bites 

If you live overseas I’m not mad at you...but if you live in the Good Ol’USA you have a Dollar General or Walmart and they sell Giant Bags of Cereal...Then you are in luck....

*Yes, you are free to choose any cereal you so desire, but if you are still reading this, then the purpose of this particular article is to have the specific “EarthVsJazz™ Poltergeist Experience”

1 - Spoon *Also Stored in Freezer

1 - Napkin *As Needed

*Life Hack, Have materials ready on hand, but do not combine milk to cereal before you are comfortable and all other preparations have been met..

Remember Kids!

Always “Pour At the Lion’s Roar”! 

(No one Says that I just made it up)

#4 Surround Sound 

    I cannot recommend enough the importance of Surround sound when viewing this movie. Especially if you are viewing this Digitally or Remastered Versions it is essential..A Soundbar will not be enough, the viewer must have a subwoofer as well as 5.1 or above calibrated Surround Sound to ensure maximum viewing pleasure..

#5 Turn off the Lights!

Once you have all the requirements met...Place any additional items that might be needed by you...Extra Blankets, Pets, Drinks Etc....

When Completed it is now nessesary to TURN OFF THE LIGHTS...Mute your cell phone, and get ready to Pour the Milk as described in Step 3

*Life Hack: Use Dark Blankets or Flex Seal to get rid of unwanted light sources.

If someone in your group suggests that they only saw the remake...Unfriend them and ostrasize them from your group or tribe...Keep in my mind I did not see the remake, but thats not the point...I can hate things Ive never seen before and never gave a chance.

#6 Final Thoughts

Matt Suggested that the viewer should not wear pants during the movie...Normally I would include this on my list, but I feel it would be conterintuive to the low temperatures described above...so I leave it as an honrable mention..

I really enjoyed putting this post up..and wish I had more subjects to blog about...My lifestyle consists of Chinese food/Jerk off/repeat...so when I actually get inspired to an actual blog post..I jump at it..That being said..if you have any subjects that you would like me to cover or talk about Please LMK..

I pride myself on trying as hard as I can to provide original content and wish I could do this more..

This is my favorite movie of all time..Im not even sure why..But it has always had a special place in my heart...

If you tried the techniques described here I would really love to know if it added to the experience.

I know this is TLDR but I do appreciate it...Feedback is more then appreciated..

Thanks for your time

- EarthVsJazz