#like using a shortened version of her last name

[magidoggie]

A LOOK INTO SHI/HIR PRONOUNS AND THEIR ORIGINS

So I’ve seen people claim that shi/hir pronouns are intersex exclusive (mostly intersex people), and others say they aren’t (mostly non-intersex people)

As an intersex person, I've been confused about this for a while, so I decided to look into it

THIS POST WILL CONTAIN NSFW TOPICS, FURRIES, TALKS OF FETISHIZATION OF INTERSEX BODIES, AND INTERSEX SLURS!

Most of the users of these pronouns seem to be non-intersex people, but there are also intersex people who use them.

I've seen a decent amount of intersex people say that shi/hir pronouns are only ours to use, as they were used against us (like a shortened version of he-she). This would make them basically slurs that only we can reclaim.

I've even seen some claims that Geoffrey Chaucer himself coined these words?? (The chaucer thing, I haven't been able to find a source for. Even so, it is most likely just an old spelling of "she/her")

I’ve seen people say it originated on 4chan. It'd be hard to verify, as 4chan is known for not keeping threads up for long. There are 4chan archives, but I've tried my hardest to look for any combinations of things like "shi" and different terms that could work with it like "intersex" "freak" or "hermaphrodite" . I don't doubt it's been used on 4chan, but I can't find much, and archival sites don't go back far enough.

Regardless, the pronouns seem quite old. One thing I did find under the search of ""4chan" shi hir" on Google, was a.. descriptive post on a furry porn website called e621.net

Okay, 13 years ago, that's a start. It certainly contains the word "herm" (short for hermaphrodite), and the word intersex used with this pronoun.

Godspeed TheShadowfox42 I hope you found the image.

Using Google's "Before:(date)" feature, I searched "shi herm before:2010", and unsurprisingly, I found a lot of furry porn.

Stories on sofurry.com, a furry website that looks to be from at least 2007, if not older. I'll spare you the details, but indeed, there, they use shi/hir pronouns for their "herm" characters. Did these pronouns originate from.. furries?? I put that though aside for now, to look further into other uses.

As it turns out, the journey does not end at 2007. Urban dictionary has an entry from 2003

No slurs here, it looks like a neutral usage. Again, going back to Google. Now, search terms "hir "gender neutral" before:2004"

Many results show up now, now articles rather than furries. American.edu (seems to be a university), Swarthmore.edu (this is a college), both from 2001. jstor.org with a journal article from 1999. Unfortunately I can't read that one, as I have to pay a whole $63 to purchase it. I even found a PDF file from 1994 by core.ac.uk

But, what I've realized now is this is not usage of shi/hir pronouns. All of these use Ze/hir pronouns. I don't know if there is any link, but the last pronoun looking the same must've obscured the results.

From the american.edu article on these pronouns. You can see the usage of "hir" alongside "ze", and below it, the usage of ze/zir pronouns, which seem to be used more today.

Shit.. Doing the search all over again with the pronoun "shi" yields.. very few results apart from people talking about Chinese words.

Wait what about those furries from earlier? The tvtropes.org article does include this:

Chakona space? Chakats? Pronouns he came up with? Admittedly I kept seeing these centaur feline hybrid characters come up quite consistently during this dive, but I had to look into it further.

Oh buddy what did I get myself into. This is from 2001 best I can tell, so we're getting quite old here. I scroll down on the page.

And lower down.

Now this is all very interesting speculative biology, but what I'm focusing on is again, the usage of "hermaphrodite" together with the pronouns "shi/hir". Did a furry artist named Bernard Doove come up with these pronouns.

It gets yet older.. New search, "chakats "shi" before:2001"

Again, Bernard Doove's art from 2000, 1999, 1998,

I find a website called yerf.metafur.org It has furry art, dating all the way back to the mid 1990's, but here, on December 23 1998, is the first appearance of these pronouns on that site.

This Bernard Doove person has been at this project, with these pronouns for a while.

From what I can tell, many of his art pieces, they seem to be quite sexual beings. Quite fetishistic of hermaphroditism at times. (or intersexuality, take your pick)

The other thing I found with my search was a website, furry.org.au/bosshoss/

My search says it's from September 14 1998.

That's certainly some information, but it might come in handy. So Chakat Goldfur provided this website? Who is that? Looking into it, that seems to be a character created by Bernard Doove, that acts as an alter ego. Further down, the person running this website lists some other websites they enjoy. One being "Proxima Centauri", which seems to be another furry artist.

"I met this one at ConFURence 8. Very interesting. (Did I mention shi is a hermaphrodite uni-centaur?)"

(For context, ConFURence is a furry convention held in 1997)

Again, the usage of hermaphrodite, and the pronoun shi. At this point, the website being linked to is long gone, but the wayback machine provides help. The website, http://www.spots.ab.ca/~unicorn/main.htm has been captured all the way back to October 8th 1997.

At this time, the website was under construction. No images are willing to load and haven't been archived, but the description is intact.

So this person uses shi/hir pronouns for their hermaphroditic character all the way back in 1997. There are links to other places where this person used to host their works, but they are all down and haven't been archived. The thread is running thin..

Back to Bernard Doove, the Chakat creator. There must be something more to this. Turns out, there was. On the "yerf" website, I actually found several art pieces that were not picked up by Google.

Febuary 22 1997. Getting yet older. In some art pieces, Bernard references "Forest Tale" and "forest tales", so I went looking for whatever that was.

1995?? you've got to be kidding. It's an adult story involving these "chakat" beings, and sure enough, down the page

Shi/hir pronouns used over and over again.

With the use of hermaphrodite.

But.. This is kind of where it ends. I couldn't seem to find anything older, and I'm not going to contact Bernard Doove over this. Even something as old as 29 years is impressive to me. Bernard Doove states his characters were inspired by other furry artists' creatures of the time, but since it's 1995, there isn't much left for me to find here. Anything before that time is probably lost.

With all the information I have been able to gather, it looks to shi/hir pronouns were created by Bernard Doove who is a furry author and artist. Shi/hir were made to be a midway between "she" and "him" in some way, to be a gender neutral word for hermaphroditic genetically modified beings called "chakats" in his stories. As an intersex person myself, I don't enjoy the use of "hermaphrodite" in such a way, as it's a slur for us. But these types of characters also seem to be very old, and we, and our struggles, were completely unknown to the vast majority of people, even moreso than nowadays.

If you use those pronouns for an intersex person who doesn't use them, it is indeed intersexist, as you are implying we are hermaphrodites.

But as for whether only intersex people can use them? I'm not sure. The original intent doesn't seem be directly linked to intersex people. You could argue that these hermaphroditic characters are fetishized versions of how many people see us, and have seen us for a long time. Afterall, hermaphrodite was, and still is, a common slur for us.

I don't doubt some people have used these pronouns as slurs against us as well, but I also haven't found anything specifically that supports that. It always seemed to be for specific fictional characters that COULD be based off specific intersex attributes

I'm not going to argue one way or the other. This was just me trying to find what I could about these pronouns and their history. Just be mindful of how you use these pronouns, and the connections they have to fetishes revolving around the common misinterpretation of intersex bodies (as in, "having both parts")

Thank you for reading.

I hope you learned something. I know I did, and I now have a headache.

[shaunashipman]

can i ask what your thoughts are on the whole 'tommy can't call buck "buck" bcuz that's reserved for people who know him' thing? (this isn't meant to stir anything up, im just seeing a lot of takes on it)

oh, so random ppl on calls know him? lmao

my take on tommy not being "allowed" to call him buck is that the writers wanted to be very clear from the start that their relationship is different. from the beginning when we see them at harbour in 704, tommy calls him evan, the first hint of how the episode will actually end. even casual viewers would have been tilting their heads at that, it helped lay the groundwork for the reveal

it's the opposite of the take you mention. "evan" is reserved for, not just people that know him, but for people who he allows to. and he allows tommy to. he didn't even understand what he was feeling at the beginning of 704 was a crush, and he was still fine with tommy calling him evan. buck is an adult, if he had any problems whatsoever with it, he would have just said, "oh everybody calls me buck". treating it like tommy is doing it against buck's wishes is infantalizing buck, which is a big problem for this fandom, even outside of shipping

someone pointed out on another one of my posts that ali called him evan too, so there's precedence for an SO to call him evan (also she met him while at work, so he probably introduced himself as buck while rescuing her (i don't remember if introductions were actually shown on screen), and then either gave her permission or she took the initiative as his girlfriend to call him evan, which he was fine with)

i mean, it's a super common trope that a significant other is allowed to call someone by a name that most others aren't, whether they normally go by a nickname, a shortened version of their name, or their last name. this shouldn't be controversial. it's just that a large subset of fandom put so much emphasis on the one scene of eddie calling him evan that now they feel threatened

and like!! the significance of him using evan during the will scene is still there! still important! so many metas about him specifically talking to the child in buck, who still felt that he didn't matter as much as his loved ones; of telling him that "buck" who was created in the fire dept, wasn't the only one who was important to them, that "evan", who didn't know who he was but that he was going to be something, was important just for being, not for what he could do

all of that is still there!! none of that significance is gone or diminished!! it just means something different when tommy calls him evan. just like it means something different when maddie calls him evan

[trashytoastboi]

Day of Eternity - Solomon

~Spicy Sin-Ario F! Version~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Female version

> Word count: 1,754 words

Warning: NSFW (Aphrodisiac use, Teasing, Overstimulation, Cowgirl, Toys)

Solomon buzzed around his work bench, humming off key to some song he’d heard and blending it with another. Singing the lyrics a bit disjointed and having a good time nevertheless. He lifted the small beacon to his eye to judge the colour and consistency. He sets it back on the table and adds a little something extra, noticing the hue change from a deep indigo to a light pink. He tilted the beacon until a drop fell to his finger and he tasted the potion in question. Solomon licked his lips after sampling the latest creation. Noticing a honey-like sweetness, his body shuddered and grew hot. Such effectiveness from a single drop, it might have been his best one yet. It is perfect and he couldn’t wait for {Name} to try it out. After all {Name} is his apprentice, his girlfriend and on occasion; his test subject. 

Solomon made a pretty grimm from selling a variety of things to the demons in the Devildom, notably his biggest client base happened to be the many succubi and incubi that resided there. He is quite the salesman for lotions, potions, tools and toys. However before selling something Solomon needed to test the efficiency of things. He’s confident in his skills and knows they’re great with the security of no side effects. These tests were mostly for the smaller details and knowing who he should market the products to. So like any other day when Solomon would invite his lovely apprentice over for testing he’d give a brief rundown in person. {Name} trusted whatever Solomon gave her, seeing that nothing had never been dangerous and was easily assured. The sorcerer placed a small vial of pink liquid on the table, {Name} noted the colour is rather eye-catching. She popped the lid off and drank the liquid, her mouth filled with instant sweetness and dissipated with a candy aftertaste. Solomon watched closely for any instantaneous reactions “How is it?” 

“It tastes good”, Solomon chuckled at her response when he meant to specify the effect, however he’s glad to know it’s a pleasant taste. Bitter medicines weren’t all that favoured. “Do you feel anything yet?” he questioned, looking at the grandfather clock in the corner to record the time. He made his first adjustment note-  shortening the time for it to work. A few more minutes pass before {Name} feels a dull tingling throughout her body. She sighs “This is another aphrodisiac isn’t it?, of course this wasn’t the first aphrodisiac he’d had her test and taste, nor would it be the last. “Mhm, but this one is special” Solomon moves a bit closer to {Name}. “I worked on the effect of amplifying the body’s sensitivity.” {Name} nods, trying to sound out any difference between the last aphrodisiac and this one, “It doesn’t feel much different-” her sentence is cut off by Solomon closing in for a kiss and the contact sent a violent electric shock through her, shooting to every inch of her body as a moan fell from her mouth. “W-what was that?!” 

Solomon watched her closely "Looks like it’s working, you let out such a cute voice.” It was obvious that he was teasing. ‘Oh while I have you here, there’s something else I’ve been wanting to test out and I think this is a perfect opportunity.” He ran over to a storage chest on the other side of the study, one he’d enchanted to fit way more beyond its actual capacity and it took him a few minutes to fish out what he was looking for and he brought out a small capsule looking thing. {Name} eyed the capsule suspiciously. It reminded her of those bath toys when you throw it into the water and it would expand into a dinosaur or something . Solomon loved her keen intuition; it was indeed modeled after those but what pops out is very different. He excitedly explained that once it met water it will act as if it’s sentient, it’s not actually alive but will react as if it is. He went into length about how it’s perfect for fulfilling a tentacle fantasy- {Name} stops him right there. “I am not doing tentacles.” She didn’t budge, even when he pouted and tried to convince her with some pleading eyes. Solomon settles for touching {Name’s} wrist and hearing the surprised moan, Solomon slides his hand up her arm. “N-No tentacles…not today at least.” {Name} held her ground. Solomon looks pleased, “I’ll still be using toys, just not my creations. We need to test how far your sensitivity goes” thankfully the things Solomon had in mind were more tame than his tentacle toy. A pair of soft nipple clamps and a vibrator. “You look relieved, were you expecting something weird?” he hums playfully. “This is you we’re talking about.” She retorts.

Solomon has her sitting in his lap after stripping her down, every ounce of contact drives her mad and he kisses her fervently, he slows down and takes the time to tease her tongue with his own. {Name’s} body squirms in his lap, tenses before her chest is heaving with heavy breaths. Solomon looks astonished. “You came?” {Name} was more startled than he was, she didn’t realize a kiss would be enough to make her cum. She certainly didn’t complain and leaned in to kiss him even more moaning into every kiss, the more she felt pleasure coursing through her body. “Do I even need these?” Solomon held the nipple clamps in his hand, and {Name} nodded “Yeah- use them.” He loved how brave she got once a little pleasure muddled her brain. He holds the tip over her nipple and slowly adjusts it, keeping it a little looser than usual in light of {Name’s} reactivity. He adjusted them and pulled on the chain to make sure they were still on tight enough. The slight pull was enough to evoke a partial scream from her. Solomon kisses her neck softly, in a comforting way. "Does the sensitivity make it hurt?” he keeps the clamps with enough tension to pull on her nipples gently. “N-No…it just feels insanely good.”, she huffs out, “So no pain at all?”, {Name} nods. He’s pleased to hear that and pulls the chain harder. {Name} digs her nails into his forearm “Fuck Solomon-!” she cums again, and glares at him. He flashes a devious little smirk at watching her come undone. “Solomon just give me a moment” {Name} asks while trying to gather herself. “Mhm sure take all the time you need” he said and immediately betrayed his words when he pressed the vibrator right snug against her clit and switched it on. “You assho-” {Name} nearly bit her tongue when her legs started to shake and she kept trying to force his hand away, Solomon however against her wishes did not budge as she felt another wave of ecstasy washing over her. He moves the vibrator lower down, circling her hole teasingly before pushing inside her. Solomon keeps thrusting the toy in, nice and slow, careful not to push her over the edge again while she’s whining in his lap. “You’re so cute baby," Solomon compliments seeing her struggling against another orgasm when she’d usually be embracing it. 

There’s a lewd squelching sound that makes Solomon purr, “Getting me impatient seeing you all messy like this. Don’t think I can wait much more” he’s playing it off like a joke but judging by the hard thing prodding her ass she knows it’s not. “Then don’t wait.” Those words were all Solomon needed to hear, he was falling over himself to try undo his pants enough to get free. The moment he’s shuffled his pants off enough to get some semblance of freedom, his cock is already springing against {Name’s} stomach, she lifts her hips and slowly sinks down. The languid way she moved down had her cumming just from feeling him pushing inside. “Baby you have to stop cumming for a second or I’m not gonna last.” Solomon hissed through his teeth when he felt how tight she got all around him. “Can’t help it.” she moans out and rocks her hips, only a few minutes of riding had {Name} utterly fucked out and so overstimulated, tears streamed down her face “I can’t…please…” {Name} begged and pouted hoping for some sympathy from her dearest, “Aww I’m sorry baby, I didn’t know it would feel too good to handle” He mocked, giving little kisses in apology as he thrust up into her, kisses drifting from her neck to her collarbones, down her chest before he was sucking on her nipples. The warm, wet feeling of Solomon’s tongue circling the soft bud and lightly sinking is teeth in had her squirming and cumming again. “Sol…stooopp” She whined, “Safeword or I’m not stopping baby.” Solomon stays still for a moment, giving her a chance for the muddled thoughts to clear up enough to utter a single word- she looked at him, never uttering that word. Solomon’s lips turned upward in an evil smile, “Oh you’re begging me to stop but you don’t wanna stop huh, it’s too good?” Solomon is lost in the rapturous sensation she kisses him. After all the exchanges with kissing and the heat that washes over him he guesses that the effects can be transmitted by bodily fluids. Her insides clamp down tight again, he can’t handle how good it feels every time she does that and it nearly sends him over the edge himself.  He grabs her hips in a desperate attempt, “Didn’t want to cum this fast…” he furrows his brows and speaks through a few shaky breaths. {Name} can see how hard Solomon fights against it and she wants to be a little vindictive. She moves against his grip just a little more, a little more she thinks before she’s clenching around him with the most intense one yet. Solomon curses as it forces him over and he’s cumming, body riddled with intense ecstasy. “Good thing you skipped the tentacles.” Solomon jokes, placing his head against her as they both try to recover. “Is it really necessary to bring that up right now?” She asks Solomon who smiles at her words. “Oh dear it’s absolutely necessary because we’re going to do it next time.” He laughs into another sloppy kiss when {Name} gently shoves his face away “Seriously I think I’m going to die if I cum again.”, Solomon pouts asking if he couldn’t just give her one more.

Taglist: @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @roninfromtheops

[sometimesthatsbetter]

Every thing i read in Febubary

I Became the Tyrant of a Defense Game

The MC of this novel is so fucking silly cause who tf names their kid Ash 'Born hater' Everblack? Like i'm being for real right now, his mom literally called him her 'little hater'. Love that

So, a Korean gamer who was streaming about this old strategy game on hardmode where if you fail once the game resets. The guy got isekaied the moment he finished the game on stream and right in the middle of the battle field too, tough luck hater.

Before we go more in depth about this story I would recommend that you read the novel version, the manhwa seems a little tacky and i've seen alot of readers complain that the manhwa makes everything look cheaper.

So, one of reasons why it made on to my reading list is because it was recommended by my guy friends who has great taste for this kinda genre. It drew him in because it used actual strategies that he would also use in his game instead of throwing around random lingo in hopes to cater to gamers. Like every battle was truly suspenseful and the author isn't afraid to show that every victory requires a sacrifice. Also I've seen people praise the character development of this novel, everyone starts out a little stereotypical and annoying but they get their own story arcs to shine.

Another thing i like is that this story is about the fight against the end of the world. Like i know alot of stories with that kind of premise but rarely do i ever feel the urgencey as strongly as i do with this story. The last stand against a sea of monsters waiting to consume the world and the young prince who's tasked with the question of remaining human or turning into a monster to save his world. I love me some classical fantasy

Anyways, it has 500+ translated chapters and it's all free. Go read it now.

The problematic prince

If i'm being honest here i can think of at least 10 more manhwa crown princes who are even more problematic than the ML, especially that guy from the abandoned empress, yeah fuck you blueberry head.

So the story premise is the typical bad boy x good girl story trope. Our prince Bjorn keeps getting pestered by his ex wife whom he doesn't want contact with and our FL is being sold off to the highest bidder in society, shinnaigans happen and so the are married. That's the very shorten version of the plot

First thing that i noticed, the vibes. It gave off so much Edwardian, turn of the century energy that i adore. From the costuming to the city streets and the interactions between common people. Love it.

The author seems to have been blessed with amazing writing skills because oh my god did the writing style made me swoon. Erna, our FL, can be classified as one of those soft girl heroines but i feel like she's more than that. She knew what she had to do to keep her loved ones safe and always strived for better, she's not a cunning villainess nor a simpering coward. Erna never settled and kept enduring and trying new ways to connect with others around her even when she's being labelled as a home wrecker.

Also the nobilities and medias reaction to their marriage was incredibly realistic, i see alot of manhwas with rags to riches stories or men marrying women with horrendus reputations but never mention how powerful the influence of the peoples opinions. Here you can see that Bjorn and Erna's relationship, while rocky still holds strong, it seemed like they are truly in love and happy with their choices. Yet media still condemns her as a witch, a slut and a disgrace towards the royal family. It even lead to a attempt on Ernas life. Which shows you how easily the public can be whipped into a frenzy just because of a narritive that she is other woman.

The spirit queen

If i even find the author of this manhwa i would like to make out with them and have their babies, cause this kind of genious deserves to be preserved.

Do you want a story with proper drama? Do you want something that actually keeps it's momentum and doesn't half ass shit half way through? Do you want themes about power and how it turns people into the worse version of themselves? Well look no further. The spirit queen has your back

Another thing that i loved about this story was it's sympathy towards the working class. The servants in this aren't the stereotypical happy go lucky loyal maids that you see in manhwas, they also aren't evil back stabbing people either. They know that their lives are worthless when it comes to the upper classes so they do all that they can to survive and to protect their loved ones. And i respect that as hell, even if it made them do less than savory things.

Also i recently learned that the author, Tutu-nim, wrote and drew this manhwa on their own. A true girlboss

Run away with me, girl

Remember all those times you said that you can be a better husband for the FL? Well this is a lesbian romance based on that premise.

It's a bittersweet romance story about two girls who were high school friends meeting each other after 10 years. Maki, who is till doing her graduate courses while living with her mom and lamenting her loneliness, while Midori is engaged and pregnant and living that perfect, normal life she wanted. Of course everything is not as it seems, and that's what the author wanted to explore in the coming chapters of the story

It's a short read, about 16? 17? chapters. But the author manages to do so much in that short amount of time. Every character felt so real and complicated. At first when you see Midori and the way that she treated Maki after their reunion, it's not hard to come to the conclusion that Midori is just playing around with Makis feelings. Especially with the way that she flirts and then reminds Maki of her engagement to her boyfriend.

This manga has the most realistic, hut wrenching potrayals of abuse, love and hate i've seen in a while. And if i'm being honest there is a high chance i would do the same if i was stuck in their situation.

[malarkgirlypop]

hihi I had an idea with Joe Liebgott x Nurse where they despised each other in high school and never saw each other again after that. Once the war begins, reader volunteered to become a nurse in aid stations, and one day lieb gets shot in the ass lol and has to go to the aid station where she is. She never imagined he'd become her patient, and he never imagined they'd ever cross paths again, and it feels like they're back in high school all over again

enemies to lovers basically hihi 

Goody Part 1 (Joseph Liebgott x Fem!Reader)

OMG This is the best idea. I hope that you like it. This is the first part! More to come after this. As soon as I got this message I dropped everything to write it. I'm so excited for the next part so stay tuned! Also let me know how smutty I can be ahaha. This is based off the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, no hate to the people involved.

Mr Lancy drones on, my eyes droop as he speaks. My brain can’t handle all the maths questions on the board. Maths is my least favourite subject for two reasons. One I hate it all the numbers they jumble together and I can never make sense of the questions and two Joseph Liebgott is in this class with me. We don’t get to pick our seats either, Mr Lancy isn’t nice enough for that. 

So when I walked in on the first day of the year I took my respective seat from the chart that was pinned to the board, I thought there must be an odd amount of students in the class since everyone had a desk partner except for me. I wasn’t too fussed, I was at the back of the class, so I could get away with doing nothing. The bell rang and in came Mr Lancy, he was calling the roster when Joe strolled in. Oh no! I thought, please don’t be my desk buddy! Joseph Liebgott had a reputation around school for being a miscreant, always getting into trouble. He once gave all the boys in our year the most dreadful skullets in the school toilets. He got suspended for a whole week. They never actually expel him, because he is one of the top scoring students in our year. I have no idea how he is so smart when he makes so many stupid choices. I groan internally as he makes a B-line to my desk. Joe and I have never gotten along, I like to follow rules unlike him and he likes to tease me for it.

“Ugh, I’m with you goody!” I glare at the boy as he slumps down into the seat next to me, using the shortened version of the nick-name he has for me, goody-two-shoes. 

“Don’t flatter yourself ass-hat, I’m not pleased to be with you either.” I growl at him, clenching my fists on the desk. No one pisses me off quite like Joe does, I see him and I just want to strangle him. 

“Ass-hat, that’s a good one. Where did you come up with that?” I roll my eyes, ignoring his taunting.  I know that if I bite we will end up in a fist fight on the floor and I do not need him getting me into trouble. 

So everyday I have to deal with the ass-hat that is Joseph Liebgott and maths. I sigh, looking at the clock, come on, how has it only been two minutes since I last checked the time. 

“Miss Y/L/N, how about you come up and solve this one!” Mr Lancy calls my name, snapping me from the thoughts, shit! I have not been paying attention at all. Joe chuckles from beside me seeing the panic on my face. I send daggers his way, he pretends to cower back. I plaster a tight smile to my face, and make my way to the front, taking the chalk from Mr Lancy. I stand in front of the board, my heartbeat accelerating, a sweat breaks out across my forehead. I don’t even get the equation on the board. I bit my lower lip, glancing out of the corner of my eye, Mr Lancy stands with his arms crossed over his chest waiting for me to solve the equation. My hand shakes as I raise the chalk, feeling pressured to write something. I shakily drag the chalk down the blackboard, it squeaks making me wince. I cringe, I just wrote one. Someone end my suffering. I plead quietly in my brain. A chortle of laughter comes from the back of the room, everyone turns to see Joe bright red in the face dying from a fit of giggles. I scowl at him as he wipes tears from his eyes. 

“Well if you think you can do better Mr Liebgott, by all means come up.” I sigh from relief, putting down the chalk and walking back to my seat, I pass Joe who makes his way to the front, he chuckles again as we pass. I clench my fists, don’t punch him. I take a breath trying to control my hatred. I sit down as Joe saunters to the front. He picks up the chalk erasing my shakey one with his hand. He solved the maths problem quickly. Turning and grinning at the class, some of the girls let out dreamy sighs. I roll my eyes. He makes eye contact with me, raising his eyebrows, giving me his signature smirk. I control myself from slapping the smug look off his face as he comes and sits down next to me again. 

“Aw goody, you’ll get it next time.” He teases. 

“Fuck off!” I say lowly. He chuckles again, knowing how to really get under my skin. I swear he takes pleasure in just pissing me off. 

Last day of the year, and we would’ve graduated high-school. I walk with my friends as we collect our year books. We look through the photos, laughing at the terrible ones that were submitted. We all sign each other’s books, writing cute notes to each other about how we will miss each other and how we need to stay in touch. I sit reading all the notes left for me, smiling down at my book. It’s ripped from my hands, I gasp looking up to find a smirking Joe. I groan out loud. 

“Give it back ass-hat!” I say standing, maybe this is the day I finally punch this guy in his big nose. 

“Aww how sweet!” He mocks pouting, reading all of the messages written. 

“Joe! Give it back, or I swear!” I say louder, stepping forward to grab the book from him, but he moves quickly away and holds the book over his head out of my reach. 

“Or you swear you'll do what?” He taunts. I raise my foot, harshly stomping on his toes. His smug look replaced with pain. He drops his guard, I take my chance. I leap up grabbing my book from his hand, not realising he is only standing on one foot. He loses his balance as I jump on him. We topple backwards, landing in a heap on the ground. I look down at our position, I straddle his torso, our faces very close together as we both grip the year book in our outstretched hands. I pant in his face, our eyes locking briefly. Before we both snap to our senses. 

“Oh god!” I shout, as he pushes me off him. “Get off me goody!” I take my yearbook back. 

“Jesus if you wanted to get into my pants, all you had to do is ask!” His smug grin returned.

“Gross, I would never.” I hissed in his face. “Me either!” he retorts with the same energy. 

That was the last time I saw the dreaded Joseph Liebgott. After I finished high-school, I went to university and studied to be a nurse. I got my degree and got a job in the hospital. I had only been working for a year before Japan bombed Pearl Harbour. I had wanted to help so I volunteered with a few of the other nurses I was working with. They had scooped us up immediately needing all the help they could get. Before we knew it we were on a boat to Europe, to help the soldiers. We had been assigned to the aid stations close to the front, where the medics sent back their men to be treated and then moved back onto the front again. It was hard work, the men that came in were often in very bad shape, needing assistance immediately. We only had one doctor and very limited supplies. So most of the decisions being made were by the nurses. I liked it, it made me think, tested my limits. Sometimes it tested them a bit too much though. Not everyone can be saved, no matter how hard you try, or go over the scenarios in your head each time, thinking of something you could’ve done differently. After a while the thrill got old. It was more heartbreaking than anything. But the nurses kept each other spirits high, if we were down the men could tell which brought down morale too. We weren’t just here to heal them of their injuries but support them. I always put on a smile, made small talk with the men, built rapports so they felt safe.

Eugene Roe, the medic for Easy company, came into the aid station with other men carrying a soldier on a stretcher.

“Hey Gene!” I chirped to the man as I finished tending to one of the patients.

“Hi Y/N!” He smiled back at me, turning around to tell the men to put the soldier on one of the beds. 

“What have we got today?” I said as I approached the medic.

“You’re gonna love this, it’s another ass wound.” He chuckled. I sigh, the men of Easy company have a way of getting their asses shot. It had become an inside joke between Gene and I, we said that it’s because when they were lying down flat that their butts were still higher than their heads, because they’re so juicy. 

“Easy men I swear.” I grin looking down at the patient who lay on their front. I bent down looking at the dressing Gene had put on, the man’s pants had been ripped open for Gene to get at the injury. 

“Any pain meds?” I asked, lifting the dressing. A fairly deep graze was on the left cheek of the man’s behind. Like the bullet had just skimmed the top of it.  

“No, he's a tough one.” Gene replied, giving the man a pat on the back. 

“Damn right I am!” I froze, my hands stilled. Not moving, my eyes glanced at the face of the injured man. That nose was unforgettable.

“Joseph Liebgott!” I uttered. Joe craned his head around to look at me. 

“Goody?” A shocked look dawned his face. 

“You two know each other or something?” Gene asked, watching the interaction.

“Ugh out of everyone, why did it have to be you!” I groaned, not replying to Gene. 

“Oh like I’m so thrilled!” Joe retorted in a sarcastic tone. “We went to high-school together, she was a pain in my ass.” Joe looked at Gene answering his question.

I scoffed, “Pain in your ass, I doubt it. He was a nightmare, Gene. Always up to no good.”

“Oh I could imagine that. Well I will leave him in your care then, Y/N.” Gene patted me on the shoulder as he made his way to the door. 

“Gene, don't leave me here with her! She might try to kill me!” Joe cried, reaching for the leaving medic who just laughed at Joe. 

“You’ll be fine, Liebgott, she’s a great nurse.” Gene called to him, giving us a cheesy grin before ducking out of sight. 

“I’m not going to kill you Joe.” I rolled my eyes at his antics.

“You tried to kill me in high-school.” Joe protested. 

“Yeah well this isn’t high-school. So turn around and let me do my job.” He groaned but did as I asked, burying his head into the pillow and letting out an audible groan. 

I got to work, cleaning his wound. I washed out the laceration with clean water, cleaning around the peri-wound as well. It was deep enough to be packed, so I cut my gauze and packed it into the wound. 

“Ouch!” Joe groaned. His butt cheeks clenching.  

“Sorry, hold still.” I said as he squirmed under my touch. I finished the last of my packing, then placed a clean dressing over the injury. “I’ll go get you some new pants.” I scurried away to get some fresh pants for him. I returned with new pants, giving them to him, before closing the curtain and letting him change. He pulled back the curtain, looking ready to leave. 

“Where are you going?” I asked him, as I moved from another soldier’s bed. 

“Well you fixed me up so I can go.” Joe said, trying to move past me, I blocked his path. 

“We haven't discharged you yet. You will need to stay until it heals fully.” I informed him.

He didn’t look pleased with me. “But it’s fine!”

“Well no, I have packed it and that needs to be changed daily. So you can’t leave. And no before you say it, Gene cannot do it in the field.” I interrupt him, seeing the thought in his mind before he can say it. 

“Tell me Joe, what do you do in your foxhole most of the day?” I ask the man trying to get my point across. 

“Sit.” He replies, looking confused. 

“Exactly, you sit. That wound on your butt, that you sit on, will not heal if you go back to the front.” I explained to him, “Plus, because it’s on your ass, there is a greater chance of infection. So no, you’re not leaving until we say so.” I raise my eyebrows daring him to speak. He gives me a tight lipped smile, sighing loudly. He lies back down on his bed. 

“Can you do a double tonight?” Mary asks me with puppy dog eyes. I glance at the clock, I’m supposed to be finishing in about ten minutes and I was so excited to go to sleep. 

“Why can’t you do the night shift?” I ask her. 

She blushes, becoming sheepish. “I have a date.” She grins at me. I know exactly who she is going on a date with as well, one of the soldiers that she tended to last week. They both became infatuated with each other, she didn’t leave the hospital that whole week, begging to do all of the night shifts so that she could stay with her lover boy. She even did one of my shifts for me, I had the whole day to lie in bed and do nothing. So I suppose I owe it to her. I nod reluctantly, as she grins clapping her hands together. 

Night shift isn’t always too bad, most of them men just sleep and sometimes we have people brought in. But due to poor visibility at night, nothing much really happens to warrant a trip to the aid station. But today I feel extra exhausted, because I was fighting the whole time with ass-hat. Every time I turned around I found his eyes on me. Watching me like a hawk. He would smirk at me, while I sent daggers back. He was back to his old antics of winding me up and it was driving me up the wall. All I had wanted to do was go home and lie down. Now I had to stay and listen to him snore peacefully in bed, while I stayed up all night.

I sat catching up on the notes for the day. They were normally brief due to having no real down time to finish them all since we were always so busy and understaffed. I sat tapping my pencil to paper trying to think of what happened to the particular patient I was writing about. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander to the sleeping Joe. A candle dimly lit the room so I could make out his face in the dark. He lay on his back snoring quietly. His brown hair tousled slightly on his forehead, a relaxed expression on his face, I hate to admit it but he’s very handsome. Only when he isn’t pestering me, I think I could get used to a sleeping Joe, he doesn’t drive me nuts in this state. 

I sat staring at the clock, willing it to be 0700 so that I could leave and get some sleep. My eyes drooped as I propped my head up on my hand. Mary arrived early, bursting into the room all excited. I grinned at the young girl, as she made her way over to me. I was eager to hear how her date went with the soldier. She kept me company while waiting for the next shift of nurses to arrive telling me about her night. 

“And then he lent in and kissed me.” She almost swooned out of her seat. I laughed watching her. “Oh Y/N it was so romantic, truly!” She lent in closer whispering, “I think I’m in love.” 

“Steady on Mary, it was only your first date.” I cautioned the young nurse. But all she did was grin at me. I shook my head, laughing at her again.

“Y/N we need you to stay on just for a little while longer.” Dr. Johns told me, my smile dropped. I nodded reluctantly, knowing they needed me. I did my round leaving Joe till the end. He lay on his stomach reading a comic he had borrowed off of one of the other soldiers. 

“Morning Joe.” I said sleepily, not really in the mood for his smugness. 

“Morning goody.” He grinned, turning to look at me, his face dropped. He tilted his head assessing me. “Have you been here all this time?” He asked, looking at my face. I’m sure the bags under my eyes gave away my lack of sleep. I nodded barely able to keep my eyes open. 

“I just need to change your dressings, can you pull your pants down for me.” I asked, he looked like he was going to make a snarky comment but bit his tongue, doing as I had asked. I removed the previous dressing, cleaned it and then packed it again and applied a new dressing over top. He pulled his pants back up after I was done, rolling onto his side. I didn’t get up immediately, enjoying the softness of his bed. I felt myself nodding off, I put out my hand to steady myself, leaning onto my elbow. My eyes won’t even open. I feel a tug, as my arm is pulled from under me, I fall onto the bed. I feel gentle hands place a pillow under my head. I sigh, feeling comfortable. The bed moves, I hear the sound of the curtain being pulled. The bed dips again, someone takes a seat beside me. I don’t hear much after that, I fall fast asleep. 

“Goody.” Someone shakes my shoulder. I blink, raising my head from the pillow. I look up to find Joe lying beside me, one hand on my shoulder the other grasping the comic. I am positioned awkwardly on the bed lying half way down the mattress, curled into a little ball. “I let you sleep for an hour, but people are looking for you.” Joe informs me lying back on his pillow, and continuing his reading. I rub my eyes and yawn. Joe let me sleep on his bed. I’ve been asleep for an hour SHIT! 

“Oh shit!” I say springing up from my position. I fix my hair and uniform, straightening out the creases in my dress. I pull back the curtain, trying to make it look like I didn’t just fall asleep on a patient’s bed for an hour. 

“A thank you would be nice.” I hear from behind me, as Joe stares at me waiting. 

“Thank you Joe.” I smile and leave quickly to try and find the other nurses. The rest of the shift is a blur. I don’t think I would’ve made it without the nap Joe let me have. It was so busy I didn’t even get a chance to sit down and they were supposed to let me leave after the morning but they insisted I stayed since it was so hectic, I didn’t have a choice but to stay. I finally gather all of my stuff and head for the door, passing Joe’s bed on my way out. 

“Bye Joe.” I say as I leave, not really thinking too much about it. 

“Why are you being so nice, Goody?” I hear him pipe up. I sigh and smile as I turn to face him. 

“I can be nice, Joe.” I state. 

“I don’t know, I don’t like it. What are you up to?” He squints his eyes at me looking suspicious. 

“I’m not up to anything!” I counter, “I’m just too tired to have to fight with you.” Without giving him the chance to reply I leave quickly, saying goodbye to the other men on my way out.

[thunderstomm]

HOT WHEELS: LET’S RACE - Mini-Redesigns and Headcanons !

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been watching this super-cute new hot wheels show! And while I originally didn’t intend to do much in terms of fan content, I accidentally got very attached to these silly little guys so something was in order. While I like what the show has to offer, I don’t love that they wear casual clothes instead of actual racing gear, so I designed my own !!

The suits match because I imagine that these were given to them as a gift from Dash, symbolising the shift from “temporary campers” to her full-time protégés. I wanted to go full-hot wheels inspo, so all of the suits are decked out with a sweet flame pattern ! They all have little name badges on the side, and the colours of their suits are taken from the racing gloves which Dash gives them in S1! I wanted the suits to feel very simple compared to a pro racer’s suit, so while they have many staples, they have no sponsor patches anywhere ! As for the numbers on their suits, they are their rankings from camp !(thanks @viewer-of-many for the idea!!)

As I do with any media I like, I’ve included some little headcanon pages to go with! I’ve included headcanons for their full names- because I refuse to believe that these are all their legal names- as well as their pronouns, ages, racer numbers, nationalities, and heights ! I want to go in-depth on some of my choices, so buckle in! (Also if you’re finding this post and you’re a hot wheels fan PLEASE come talk to me I need more people to babble with)

COOP

Cooper “Coop” Fèng, our camp champ and main character is up first! I’m pretty sure that Cooper is canonically his first name, so I stuck with that. The nickname “Coop” was kind of just a natural development, it’s shorter, and he likes cars. Perfect! His surname is Fèng, a Chinese surname that means phoenix- which I chose because I think it’s a neat reference to his shift from “average kid” to camp champ. A real rise from the ashes! I headcanon him to be Chinese & African American- his Dad is the former and his other parent would be the latter. His pronouns are he/him, he’s 12 years old, 4’10” tall and thanks to his winning status- racer 01 in the level 2 training program !!

MAC

Mackenzie “Mac” Caliper is next ! Like Cooper, I feel like his nickname is just a shortened version of his full name, and “Mackenzie” just felt right. Before you ask- the name is gender neutral where I come from. His surname, Caliper, is taken from a car part, it’s the disc in a brake system ! Also I made his hair into some sort of mullet-y thing because of his crimes of having no bangs. I headcanon him to be Canadian. Mac uses he/him pronouns, is 12 years old (he is the oldest of the three 12 year olds, having a December birthday in the year prior), 4’11” tall, and racer 04 !

SPARK

Samantha “Spark” Turner ! For her first name, I wanted something cute that could hypothetically be given a GNC nickname. Plus “Samantha” and “spark” sound so cute together! The nickname Spark came from her love of inventing, and how her brain is always “sparking” with ideas! Her surname, Turner, is a play on a car’s “turn signal”. Not included on the chart, but I headcanon her as Autistic ! Spark is a black Canadian, her pronouns are she/her, she is 11 years old (the youngest of the 6 campers), 4’7” tall, and is racer 03 !!

BRIGHTS

Bryce “Brights” Hikari is racer 05! I imagine that she was born missing her arm, hence her prosthetic. Despite her hair matching her Uncle’s- it’s 100% dyed. Her first name, Bryce, fully just comes from me mishearing her name the first time I watched the show. So I choose to reuse it. I headcanon her as being Japanese, and her surname, Hikari, means “light”! The nickname “Brights” combines the sound of her first name and the meaning of her last! Brights uses she/her pronouns, is 12 years old, and is 4’9” tall.

AXLE

Axle Spoiler, son of beloved champ Striker Spoiler! The only character with a canon full name, and the only one who I can believe that his name is actually his legal one. I headcanon him as being Mexican. Axle is the oldest of the racers, at 14 years old. Axle uses he/him pronouns, is 5’2” tall, and is racer 02- something he accepts, but feels just a little taunted by. (I feel so funny saying so little about him because he’s my favourite.)

SIDECAR

Simon “Sidecar” Cotter is the final racer ! For his name, I wanted to keep the initials of his nickname (S.C.) intact. I went with Simon for his first name, because it’s a little goofy, but also feels just a little TOO formal for someone like him. His surname is, you guessed it, a reference to a car part! A Cotter is a pin which secures something in place. I think that Axle gave him the nickname “sidecar”, because he seems to start off as his sidekick. Sidecar is American, 13 years old, 4’8” tall, uses he/him pronouns, and is racer 06 at camp !!

While that is all I’ll be sharing for now, I do have another more detailed art piece of these guys in their canon outfits, in my more polished art style, which I hope can be coming out sooner than later. Again, if you like this show, please DM me here or on discord so we can chat!!

Thanks for reading !! 🩵💚💛🩷❤️🩶

[corishadowfang]

Questions for 15 Friends Tag Game

Tagged by @siarven--thanks for the tag!

Rules: Answer the questions, then tag 15 people.

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Uh...not really but also kind of for my legal name? It was the name of a character in a soap opera my mom watched, and she liked it enough to use it for me.

My chosen name...also kind of falls under the same umbrella, but for different reasons, and, uh...comes with a story. So like--I was really into fantasy stories when I was a kid/teen (I say like I'm not still into them now), and I loved making up "fantasy" names, which...basically just meant shoving a bunch of letters together until I got something I thought sounded cool. One of those names was "Coriora." For whatever reason, I fell in love with this name, and it's shortened version, "Cori," and I used it for everything. Pokemon nicknames, random characters, a self-insert OC...

And my cat. Who I adopted a few months before I made my email and FF.net account. Which is when I officially started using the name "CoriShadowfang" as my primary username online. Teenage me didn't even have the thought in her mind that she could possibly identify with the name "Cori" enough to adopt it as her own, nor did she think of the potential consequences of sharing a name with her cat.

...On the plus side, it's funny to call my cat "Cori Sr.," and watch how people try to process that.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Uh...I think Friday night? I'm pretty sure it was about something I was planning for a story, aha. (I cry VERY easy, haha, and the thing that spurs it does not necessarily have to be sad.)

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Do pets count...?

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I was signed up for baseball, basketball, and soccer when I was a kid, though of those, soccer was the only one I actually liked. I ended up running cross country and track in high school (though after that ended up running only for fun, since, uh...the competitive part of that wasn't very enjoyable for me, aha). In college I did fencing, which I loved and often miss a lot, but there...really aren't many places that offer fencing around where I live. I did do some long sword for a while a couple of years ago; transition to that from fencing was an interesting experience, since the fencing muscle memory...did not go away. ("What do you mean I have to hold this with two hands?? ...What do you mean I can't just stab them?!") That ended up being pretty expensive, though, so I only got to take lessons for a few months. It was still fun, though!

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Depends on the situation! I use it a lot less online, because I'm worried about coming across as, like...rude or mean. When I do use it, it's often toned down a lot. Offline, it depends on who I'm around, and how they react to it. (Or if I'm just...getting really frustrated. Then it tends to come out more.)

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Uh, that's...a good question. Online, it's definitely their interests, and...I guess it's kind of also the same offline? If I'm given the opportunity, haha. Like--if I see you're wearing a Pokemon pin or reading a fantasy book or something, I'm immediately going to be focused on that, haha.

WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Mostly blue; the bottom of my right eye has a patch of green in it.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy endings! I never got into scary movies very much, aha.

ANY TALENTS?

Uh...I guess writing probably counts? I'm also a pretty good distance runner.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

The middle of nowhere, Pennsylvania.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Writing, haha; I joke that it's all I do, but uh...it really is most of what I do. Besides that, I like drawing, reading, playing video games, and hiking. I guess playing card games/board games might also count? But uh, I do that a lot with my friends and family.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Yes! Cori Sr. is still around, haha, and I also recently adopted a puppy named Luna. Obligatory pet photos:

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5'4''

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

Probably unsurprisingly, lit/creative writing, haha. I also really liked most science classes, too; learning about nature was one of my favorite things in school, and any sort of labs where we could go outside and actually study plants/animals were amazing.

DREAM JOB?

If money weren't a concern, and I could just do anything I wanted for the rest of my life without worrying about how to pay the bills...I would love to just write stories full time. Writing really is one of the things I'm the most passionate about, and I'd love to be able to pour my all into it without worrying about getting too burnt out or needing to take on extra jobs to make ends meet. Maybe one day...

I will tag...wait I need 15 of you...uhhh @starlightwayfinder, @cq-studios, @recusant-s-sigil, @scalacaelumx, @hallowed-nebulae, @serenedash, @thetwilightroadtonightfall, @rosie-kairi, @fin-al-mix, @kicktwine, @zmwrites, @talesabound, @gotchaocha, @bookwormally, and @lightwithinthedarknessu, if any of you want to do this! Absolutely no pressure, though! (And feel free to skip/leave out any you might feel uncomfortable answering/don't feel like answering.)

[the-ace-with-spades]

Almost finished with the last chapter of just hold my hand and questioning whether to write one more, so here are some bits that didn't (won't) make it into the fic

tw mpreg

• Jake and Bradley won't ever name their kid after someone, at least not exactly the same way, but they're okay with using some version of their parents' names, or will use it as a second names if exact same, like with the twin girls (Tommy Carole and Nicky Patricia). The exception is of course their boy, PJ (Peter Jacob), because Jake wanted some kind of name that can be shortened to XJ, like CJ, AJ, etc. Peter is also Jake's (late) dad's second name. Jake's family has a tradition of doing all of the above with all their kids.

• PJ is definitely daddy's boy (Bradley's) and he's extremely shy around strangers. Even when he was an infant and technically couldn't recognize people, he'd get very fussy when someone who wasn't Bradley or Jake's mom would hold him. Yes, this applies to Jake as well - he was on deployment the first few months after PJ was born and when he came back, PJ would regard him as stranger for the first couple of months. He accepts only a couple of people, including his favorite aunt, Nat. He's also a quiet, angel of a baby.

• Ronnie is also quiet but not as much of an angel. I've mentioned it but she has speech development issues and instead communicates in different ways - this includes being a bit more touchy and more expressive with her body language as well as simply trying to do/get what she needs herself without asking for help. They've taken her to her paediatrician but she wasn't too worried as she seems to be developing well socially and has plenty of support and examples at home.

• Both Ronnie and PJ are a bit clingy, just because Bradley spent a lot of time with them when he was on maternity leave/pregnancy leave/office duty due to the timing of the both pregnancies being so close. The twins were more used to staying with Jake's ma and had been going to the nursery/preschool most of their lives so they're the most social and the most independent of the kids. (I also think they have ADHD and are a bit oblivious to social cues...)

• The first pregnancy wasn't planned. (I might allude to it in the fic so spoilers) Bradley and Jake were actually broken up when Bradley found out - it had been Bradley who started getting a bit scared and had his issues resurfacing and did the breaking up when Jake started being more serious about them. This has happened before and Bradley would always come back within a month so Jake was going to just wait it out - he didn't know it, but this time Bradley was more adamant and had planned to be transferred and have that break up be permanent. The whole plan changed when he was pregnant just because he couldn't be stationed at Atsugi and because he felt like Jake should have a chance to be present in the baby's life. It took Jake half the pregnancy for him to actually get them to move in back together (and that only happened because Bradley was having trouble getting by alone in his apartment) and then almost another month for Bradley to actually let them get back together - he had a lot of issues before but after he found out he was pregnant it was like he started worrying about them about three times as much. It was a very emotional time for them.

• Bradley started therapy before the twins were born and Jake proposed to him when they were still in the hospital after labour (not very romantic but Bradley liked it) and married when the twins were around six months old, no ceremony, just them, the twins and Jake's ma

• The second pregnancy was planned. It was Bradley who brought up that he wanted another kid - Jake had been thinking about it for some time but remembering that pregnancy wasn't easy on Bradley, he didn't want to pressure him. It took them ten very frustrating months but another nines months later Ronnie (Veronica Rose) was born. Her second name was Jake's memaw's first name and Veronica is a name Bradley's mom really liked for a girl.

• The third pregnancy was kinda planned - they knew they wanted another kid, they just thought they would wait a couple of years before trying so it was a surprise when not even a few months later and during Bradley's flight fitness physical it turned out he was pregnant again.

• Obviously, the fourth pregnancy wasn't planned at all. They haven't talked about having more kids, but neither was opposed to, even if it was implied they would wait at least a couple of years so Bradley could get back into service for some time.

• Bradley did have problems with work related to having kids -- each time there had been offers (that sounded more like orders...) of early retirement or switch to non-flight positions and a lot of pressure to take them. Each offer and its rejection was followed by some shit happening - first time around, they put Bradley on alternative jobs that were too physical for his condition or gave him minimal maternity leave ultimateum; second time around, it was Jake's deployment being moved from after the due date to before and during the due date, Jake being sent abroad for special training way more often than anyone else. It was also why Bradley was held back from being sent to Top Gun, the argument being 'we send you there, you take a place of someone who won't get pregnant and be out of action for months'. It changed when he and Jake transferred from Oceana to Lemoore, partially due to Ice's influence behind scenes. 

• Jake had been amazing through each pregnancy, even if the first one was an adventure of trials and errors. Bradley was very stubborn and emotional and Jake had the patient of a saint and didn't take it that personal whenever Bradley would explode/reject/etc at him. But also pregnancy wasn't the easiest on Bradley (each time, the last 2-3 months he'd end up on med leave, not because he was high risk but because the symptoms were quite intense), also in the emotional sense (he's really sensitive to hormone changes) so Jake tried to make it as easy as possible on him each time.

• Further into the future, Mav will pretend he can actually tell no to the kids (he can't) but Ice straight up melted and doesn't even try to say otherwise. It's enough that they mention something once and Ice already makes up a plan to get/do it for them...

• Mav is also absolutely hypnotized by Bradley's baby bump once it shows, always so taken back when he sees it. He'd be glued up to his side if he didn't know how much it annoys him (and if Hangman was always nearby and taking the spot already...)

• Jake's ma, Pat, is quick friends with Ice (she teaches him to knit and quilt). Mav is friendly with her but it takes him awhile to warm up to her completely - mostly because he's kinda jealous? that she was there for the boys the whole time, since the twins were born, while Bradley never even thought to reach out to them or even just tell them about the kids (even if he knows it was his own fault)

• Mav and Ice also have different perspectives on Bradley having kids. Mav never thought about it, having Bradley stuck on being barely 18 in his head, and Ice always knew that Bradley would eventually make his own family, he just prayed they would be included in it.

• The first time Mav watches the kids, the twins lose their front teeth. They trip and don't even cry but when Mav checks them out, they're each missing one of the front teeth. He absolutely panics, thinking that Bradley will absolutely hate him and will never let him watch or even see the kids and then Hangman comes to pick them up and he's ready to be ripped to shreds and Jake just goes, "Oh, yeah, they've been moving the whole week. Did you keep them for the tooth fairy?" Ice makes fun of him for weeks for this even though he'd be scared shitless too, if that happened with him.

• Jake and Mav eventually do have a truce, even if they still are a bit sharp with each other. It's the typical (if less toxic) in-laws relation where Mav still thinks Bradley could do better and where Jake still thinks Mav had been a bit of a crappy dad and has a slightly limited trust in him (mostly follows Bradley's cur tho). Ice likes Jake for Bradley a lot tho.

Could go on but I'll leave it here...

[thereisnolumos]

Correcting all the atrocities against Russian language in Grishaverse

I think that I might’ve already wrote on this topic here before, but I can’t seem to find it and I’m continuously bitter with the way my language has been expropriated and twisted in the girishaverse series, so, without further ado, 10 things that infuriated me (and the ones I remembered now, for there are surely more) as a Russian speaking person:

1. The first being the Grisha itself. It’s a male name. A shortened version of the name Grigoriy, to be exact. To call an entire group of people like that is… try switching it to “Johnny” every time you read it and you’ll understand the pain. She could’ve at least try and justify it with some “first ever” character with such powers named Grigoriy, so that’s why they’re called that… but no

2. All the names. Listen, if you’re using Russian names while writing in English (or any other language that doesn’t differentiate between genders) you have two ways:

eradicate the switch completely, giving everyone the male version (i.e. default bcs that’s the world we live in), or

FUCKING STICK TO THE RULES OF THE LANGUAGE YOU’RE GOT THEM FROM. The female Russian last names will always have a vowel in the end. So, it’s Aleksander Morozov and Baghra Morozova (I’m dying to know what name she thought that one is a short version of, for it just doesn’t exist). It’s Alina Starkova. Genya Safina (which should be Evgeniya, bcs Genya is a short version). Zoya Nazelenskaya (her name looks to me as of Polish and/or Ukrainian origins, correct me of I’m wrong. I’m only going off from the Russian language rules), etc.

3. It’s Fyodor, not Fedyor. And it’s Kaminskyi or Kaminskyy, there is an extra sound in the end, not just -y. Actually, for this last name use the name of the President of Ukraine as a guide, their names would be of the same origin, same as Zoya’s last name.

4. You cannot use just any word as a name in Russian language. I know that it’s sort of a thing in modern English language, but it’s not a case here. So, if I recall, there was a character with the name “Privyet” in the books. Which means “hi” in Russian. Don’t do things like that. Please. I beg of you. Fun fact, we have Vera, Nadezhda and Lubov (Faith, Hope and Love respectively) as real FEMALE ONLY names, but no such thing as just taking a word like say “Otvaga - Bravery” and making it a name. Nope.

5. Don’t even get me started on the idiocy that “otkazat’sya” is. It’s. A. Fucking. Verb. Means “to refuse” in a slightly different context that “otkazat’”. There isn’t a single version of the reality where it would’ve made sense to call a group of people by verb. None. If she wanted it to mean “the abandoned” as in “the power abandoned them”, she should’ve called them “otvergnutyye” or “ostavlennyye”. If the meaning is more towards “they refused that power”, then it should be smth like “otkazavshiesya”.

6. They have stressed the wrong syllable in the “merzost’” on the show. Supposed to be the first one. Not sure whether or not she meant to use the word “filth” in regards to the forbidden magic, or if, once again, she just liked the sound of this word.

7. “Kefta” should’ve just been “kaftan”

8. I actually hate that she couldn’t just stick to the names that would’ve been found in Russian empire during the time she drew inspiration from. What is Baghra and Malyen???? Where’d she get them??? I can stretch Baghra as being a very strange short version of the name Agrafena (veeeeery old Russian name, which suits her long life), but it’s a big stretch to say the least. Malyen just doesn’t exist. Mal doesn’t exist as a name (it’s a old version of the word “small” though)

9. What is the word “Tsarina” everyone seems to use in fanfiction where Alina and Aleksander rule over Ravka? There is no such word. There are:

Tsar - the male ruler

Tsaritsa - female ruler and/or wife of a Tsar

Tsarevich - son of Tsar and Tsaritsa

Tsarevna - daughter of Tsar and Tsaritsa

No Tsarina.

10. David’s last name is extremely strange. I assume he’s not of Ravkan origins, from his first name, but Kostyk - is a friendly short version of a name Konstantin. I’m debated over the fact whether or not this form of this name has even been in use before Soviet Union actually. I’ve met people with the last name like Kostyukevich and Konstantinov though (there are many last names that originated from first names in Russian language many, many years ago. But there are rules for the ways they were formed)

Feel free to add all the ways Leigh Bardugo butchered other languages and cultures in this series

[plugnuts]

Okay, I know next to nothing about FNF (except that the little blue-haired dude is bisexual and used to be in a relationship with the little orange-haired dude, but is now in a relationship with the brunette girl) (and that's all very cute). So what exactly is the story with this Yourself character? Also, is he the same as Silly Billy?

OKAY so there's a lot to unpack with this question here-- first I'll give a little background on FNF itself:

The blue haired dude is named Boyfriend, and the brunette girl is called Girlfriend, the ginger guy is called Pico (but he's not important to this question). GF and BF are obviously together, hence their names (even though in their view it's merely coincidence).

Now, as you know, BF is in a relationship with GF, right? In their own universe, yes, but Yourself (AKA Silly Billy as he's so commonly nicknamed (due to the name of the song he appears in)) is an alternate universe version of BF. Yourself is from a universe where his GF (AKA Herself) died in a tragic accident of some kind (of which we don't know) and is left in tatters, quite literally. He is shown to be a tall, lanky version of BF who appears to have lost himself when Herself died, no longer taking care of himself.

BF is normally shown as short, and this is to show off his innocence, to make him appear cute and nice. Yourself has lost that innocence, appearing at his full height, his true height. He shows that he can still be seen as innocent in the middle of the song he sings with BF as he shortens down, but that doesn't last too long as he soon grows back to his full height with a nasty laugh.

In the song Yourself sings with BF there's a cutscene near the end of the song that includes a lyrical portion, and as Yourself sings you can see Herself for a split second as he sings the line "So stay awake just long enough to see my way". He's singing with her as she appears, and you can even hear her voice in the song- and this is because her spirit resides in Yourself's mic, you can even see it glow in the beggining cutscene of the song. These lyrics are also a nod to the original mod's creator that had first created Yourself, Divide, who sadly died in his sleep due to cancer.

Yourself sings to BF with such passion, such pain, it's almost like he's warning BF to cherish GF and not lose her like he did Herself. Here's all the lyrics in the song:

I'll make you say How proud you are Of me So stay awake Just long enough Too see My way

My way

Yes, these are a nod to Divide, but I also like to view them as a nod to Herself as well. Like Yourself wishes for her to be proud of him even if she's no longer with him, to stay awake just long enough to see how far he's come, and how far he's fallen.

Also, in the frame where you can see Herself behind Yourself you can also see that Yourself has tattered angel wings, possibly to infer that he's practically dead, or some type of fallen angel - possibly as a metaphor for how broken he is without GF.

Now, a good chunk of this is simply speculation as there isn't too much info on Yourself or his story. Though, I do hope we get more on him someday.

I hope this clears some things up!

[the-emeralds-incorrect]

Barty Crouch Jr — name & origins

In spite of what one might believe, Barty Crouch Jr did not really hate his name.

His relationship with his father, Bartemius Crouch Sr, had never been good in any capacity. He never was deluded into thinking his father loved him. During his formative years, at first he tried to get his father to at least like him, but he gave up on that around his eight birthday.

Bartemius Crouch Sr had never seen Barty as anything more than an extension of himself. A legacy, a heir, his flesh and blood.

From what Barty has heard from his mama’s stories, his father’s reaction to her pregnancy had been relatively pleased. The problems started after his birth — after it became clear children need care, love. He also knew about her insistency on taking care of him by herself, of becoming a stay-at-home mom had been home of her last acts of resistance, of protecting him from his father’s treatment. An offer she extended upon finding a few weeks old Barty, Imperioused not to cry and hungry after a few hours she slept through, hours in which his father was supposed to watch him.

An extension of himself, in perhaps his most glaring display of egoism Bartemius Crouch Sr gifted his own name to.

All of which should reasonably, given Barty’s character, result in him absolutely despising the name. That was not fully the case.

He wasn’t sure why that was. Maybe it was because there was always a disconnect between ‘Bartemius’ — the father, and ‘Barty’ — the son. Barty couldn’t stand to be referred by his full name; all of his friends were familiar with his plan to legally change it to the shortened version when he turns seventeen.

Maybe it related to the way his mama’s voice, soft and gentle, well known and bringing a sense of security he could never find anywhere else, called out for him. The moments in which she looked beautiful and happy, out of the house, out of the country when they visited her family, babcię i dziadka, where they called him ‘Bartek’ and they could walk down the streets of Poland, so different than London, the city where he grew up.

Wizarding Poland was a complete mess. With the muggle wars, Nazis and currently reigning Soviets with their communism, the Iron Curtain breaking Europe into two, the population was not having a great time. Wizards had it better than muggles — the government rules allowed for Portkeys to be more available, and many were able to protect themselves from the bombings using spells and wards. Nonetheless, it didn’t erase the poverty. Barty remembered the shock the first time when he walked into a store with mama, and there was nothing on the shelves.

Wizards in Poland lived much closer with the muggles, he came to realize. They had an equivalent of the Statue of Secrecy, obviously, but the circumstances brought them together, in contrast to the separated state England unknowingly lived in. Wizarding Poland could never be nearly as removed from Muggle Poland, because Polish people were trying to simply survive and preserve their identity through over a century of their country being erased from the maps and the country being divided between Germany, Russia and Austria.

Wizards adapted to survive. Pure bloods overcame their prejudice to keep their history. The fight for freedom wasn’t over, but Barty knew they would never return to Britain’s levels of separation.

(Both of the sides of his family were Light, but Bartemius Crouch Sr could never deign himself to think about muggles as equals. It was reflected in the way he talked about them. Never with outright discrimination, but instead perpetuating the stereotypes and disrespect towards them. )

Barty loved it. It was the home London never was, with the Ministry of Magic so close, with the house he grew up in always at the back of his mind whenever he was walking the streets. He was sad every time they had to go back.

Barty loved his name, too. Not Bartemius, not Crouch (Jr). But just ‘Barty’. ‘Bartek’. He might’ve liked having his mother’s last name, too, but now, there’s no sense in changing it.

(He’ll be taking his husband’s one, after all.)

[atypical-artisan]

Headcanon boxer names part 2! Electric boogaloo! (Snes Edition)

Explanations for the meaning and some history behind their names and stage names included too!

Gabby Jay: Gabrielle Eugène Jay

Gabrielle is the french feminine form of Gabriel, meaning "God is my hero". Eugène is the french form of Eugenius (Eugene in English), meaning 'Well born". Jay is an English name coming from founding father John Jay, whose surname derived from the jaybird.

Gabby was named after his aunt, Gabrielle Eugénie Jay. Because she cared for him so much after he transitioned, as a way to continue honoring her after her death, he chose to only masculinize his middle name and change his surname to Jay.

His original surname, Durand, means stubborn.

Gabby is cool with any spelling or nickname he's given. This has led to many of the younger boxers calling him 'Gibby' (Although the shortening is incorrect).

Piston Hurricane: Raúl Palomo-Aguado

Raúl is the Spanish form of Radulf, which comes from Ráðúlfr, meaning "Wisdom wolf". Palomo means "pigeon", from Latin palumbes. Aguado is derived from Spanish agua meaning "water".

A lot of people consider his first name to be 'fancy' which he doesn't understand whatsoever.

The 'Piston' in his stage name comes from his interest in cars- particularly the unique car culture of his home country.

If you call him Ralph, he'll punch you.

Bob Charlie: Robert Stuart Charlie

Robert comes from the Germanic name Hrodebert meaning "bright fame". Stuart comes from the Scottish occupational name Steward, derived from Old English stig "house" and weard "guard". Charlie comes from Charles, the French and English from of the Latin name Carolus, meaning 'man'.

Bob doesn't like his full name very much- he thinks it's stiff and formal. He shortens it whenever and wherever he can.

He goes by "Stu" just as much as Bob.

In an Ironic twist, "Charlie" isn't short for anything, that;s just his last name lol.

Dragon Chan: Hejian (A.K.A Dagon) Cheung

Heijan comes from the characters 河 and 健, which mean "River" and "Strong, healthy" respectively. Cheung is a Cantonese version of Zhang, meaning "stretch, extend", a name given to bowmakers.

Heijan prefers to either have his name said as a single word, or to go by 'Dagon", a name he picked up from a friend's DnD campaign.

He was surprised to learn the name Dagon actually comes form HP Lovecraft. Knowing it's the name of an eldritch god makes it 600x cooler for him.

Dragon got his stage name from tourists mishearing "Dagon" ans "Dragon", he stuck with it as his name means 'strong river', which Chinese dragons are associated with. 'Chan' just comes from his admiration of Jackie Chan and Kung fu movies in general.

Masked Muscle: Antonio Carrillo-Maldonado

Antonio is the Spanish and Italian form of Antonius, which has no known meaning. Carrillo means "cheek, jaw" in Spanish. Maldonado comes from a nickname meaning "badly given, ill-favoured" in Spanish.

He doesn't mind the name Tony, but prefers to be called Antonio.

Most of the time, he only writes his last name down as Maldonado.

Every time he meets someone else with the same name, he takes them out for drinks.

Aran Ryan: Airyn O’Ryan

Airyn is a misspelling of Aaron, which comes from the Hebrew name Aharon which doesn't have a known origin, though common theories state it means "High mountain" or "Exhaled". O'Ryan is anglicized from Ó Riain, meaning "Descended from the little King".

Airyn was bullied for the spelling of his name, to the point where he used to hate his name, instead wishing he'd been named something else.

If he's grateful for one thing, it's that he never got a middle name. His mum told him that had she given him one, it would've been after his father's name Bartholomew. Bullet dodged.

His stage name "Aran Ryan" was a mistake by the WVBA. Although he pointed out that His name wasn't written down correctly, it never got fixed and Airyn decided to ignore it.

Heike Kagero: Hisoka Shiraishi

Hisoka is a name and word that literally means "Reserved, Secretive" in Japanese. Shiraishi is from Japanese shira meaning "white" and ishi meaning "stone".

Hisoka was named after Ayaka Hibiki's stage name.

Whenever he makes Narcis mad, Narcis calls him His-sock-uh. Hisoka has embraced this as a nickname.

They got their stage name from the tale of Heike, the name Heike meaning "House of Tiara" and Kagerō the Japanese word for 'heat haze' and 'mayfly'

Mad Clown: Otello Sordi

Otello is the Italian version of Othello, which has no known meaning. Sordi comes from sordo meaning "deaf" in Italian.

Otello adores his name and is quite proud to show it off.

Funnily enough, being named Otello is what got him into opera, as Otello is also the name of an opera based on the play by Shakespeare.

Mad Clown was meant to be a placeholder name, but he ended up keeping it around long enough that it stuck. He mildly regrets it.

Narcis Prince: Narcissus Aiolos Helios Prince

Narcissus is the Latinized form of Greek Narkissos, possibly derived from narke meaning "sleep, numbness". Aiolos means "quick-moving, nimble" in Greek. Helios means "sun" in Greek. Prince comes from a nickname from Middle English, Old French prince (Latin princeps).

Narcis loathes his name and finds it extremely pretentious. His entire family has a naming convention after Greek words, particularly mythology.

The Name Narcis itself is a Catlan variant of Narcissus and the Catlan name for the Narcissus flower, which makes it more tolerable for Narcis.

If he were to change his name, he'd choose Živan, which is a slovak name meaning living/alive.

Hoy Quarlow: Bai-Wei Zhu

Bai-Wei comes from the characters 百 and 伟 meaning 'One hundred" and "extraordinary" respectively. Zhu means "Vermillion red".

Bai tends to only go by the first part of his name, unless around family or akin to family, who call him Wei Wei.

All of his siblings share the second half of their name "Wei", which isn't an uncommon practice for siblings in Chinese culture.

The name 'Hoy Quarlow' means twice-cooked pork, one of his favorite foods.

Rick Bruiser: Richolas Nadford Broesder

Richolas and Nadford are misspellings of the names Nicholas and Radford respectively. Broesder has no meaning or clear origin I could find.

Rick wasn't expected, so his parents panicked and named him... that.

Rick never found his name odd. Not until high school when a teacher read his full name aloud and asked who the fuck would name their kid that.

Though Rick likes the name Broesder, he often struggles to spell it. This is why he tends to write his name as Rick Bruiser more often.

Nick Bruiser: Nicholas Radford Broesder

Nicolas comes from the Greek name Nikolaos meaning "victory of the people". Radford comes from many English place names, whose meanings vary from Old English read "red" + ford "ford" to a derivative of Old English ridan "to ride", with the meaning "ford that can be crossed on horseback". Broesder has no meaning or clear origin that I could find.

The brother's parent's also have names ending in -ick, Vick and Dick Broesder.

Nick is insistent that Radford is also the source of the word 'radical', no one has managed to change his mind yet.

Nick doesn't like his surname much, which is why him and Rick started calling themselves 'Bruiser'

Peter Punch/Birdie: Peter Andrew Jaskólsk

Peter derives from the Greek word Petros meaning stone. Andrew comes from the Greek name Andreas, meaning "Manly". Jaskólski is a Polish place name shared by many towns, coming from the name for swallows jaskółka.

In boxing, he uses the name 'peter punch', which his mom came up with.

He also goes by 'Birdie' which comes from the fact that when he whistles, he sounds like a bird.

Peter was born with Jewish ancestry but wasn't very close to Jewish culture. As he gets older and more connected, however, he ends up adopting the Hebrew name Yaron ben Avraham v'Sarah

[bijoumikhawal]

Bite the Hand That Starves You: Chapter Eight

Fic as of the chapter contains: discussion of abortion, references to drug use, intersex and trans characters, torture/graphic violence, colonialism and its aftermath, implied sexual violence, disassociation, kidnapping, explicit sexual content

Kardasi: -ijje: an affectionate Kardasi suffix. One adds it to a shortened version of a name. It is inappropriate to use this for a person you aren't very close to.

Whoo, final chapter! The sex scene here is the section that starts with "Garak had wanted to be alone, Julian guessed."

---

“We're within range to transport.” Garak rolled his shoulders, sitting up. “Alright. Do you have any questions about the sensor scrambler, or anything else I'm leaving with you?”

“I don't know if you should be going alone.”

“That's a no, then, I take it. I can't explain your presence if I don't. At best, Lokar will deny any knowledge of Dr. Bashir.” Garak began patching in a comms signal. “Besides, if I know Lokar- and I do- he'll try to sabotage the ship. Someone needs to keep an eye on it. And you have 15 seconds before they start getting video of this room.”

Sisko narrowed his eyes, but left quickly. Garak suspected there'd be… an interesting debriefing, after this.

Sisko had no qualms about strong arming others for a good cause, but he rarely appreciated it himself.

Garak was put through to a secretary he'd never seen before first, standing over the shoulder of a traffic controller. “Ship 5371-B, state your purpose. You are not scheduled to be here, and without good reason and authorization, you will be subject to detention until trial.”

Garak smiled. “Of course. Tell Barkan Lokar that Elim Garak has come to pay him a visit.”

She gave no sign of recognition. “What nonsense is that? Elim Garak is not on our list of those with authorized access.”

“-if you tell him that,” Garak said, cutting off her next sentence, “I think you'll find I have an appointment. And do tell him it was very rude to schedule one without asking me about it first.”

She bent and pressed some keys on the console, sighing. Garak felt the shift in gravity and momentum as a tractor beam took hold. “I hope detention is worth your little prank, sir.” The video switched off. Presumably, she was double checking his statement.

Typically a secretary would not be immediately available to traffic control. Barkan had not mentioned him by name, but clearlh he'd told his staff to expect someone. This was going well, so far.

Garak got himself a glass of rokassa juice.

The video came back on, though the tractor beam didn't turn off. Garak expected as much- odds were they'd set up a stasis lock, or potentially tow it into dock. The secretary was good. Her face betrayed no sense of shame or embarrassment. “Get on the transporter pad and you'll be beamed in.”

Garak bowed his head to her with a smile. “Thank you.”

Barkan and a helmeted guard were waiting for him. Garak gave the latter a curious look. “Updating the uniform, are we?”

Occasionally Cardassian units used helmets, but they didn't look like this, with a full face cover- giving no indication of who was underneath. “Something like that. Why don't you sit, Elim? It's been so long since we talked.”

Garak did take the offered seat. “Has it.”

“Within the bounds of the Union, I mean.” Barkan amended his statement. “There's something freeing about being here instead of on enemy territory, isn't there?”

“I don’t know. The line designating “the Union” and “enemy territory” simply passed over me one night- I didn't find much difference in how I spoke in the evening or the morning that bookended it.”

“How about the evening and the morning that bookended the last time we spent a night together?”

Garak let himself tense. Better to make Barkan think he really had the advantage, to let him revel in it. "I was interrogated after, you know. I imagine you find that funny."

Barkan laughed. "You make me so cruel in your imagination, Elijje. Sometimes I worry I won't meet your expectations, and leave you disappointed."

"I find you meet them effortlessly."

Barkan sat, resting his head in his hand. "You're wanting your Terran doctor back, I take it. Have you ever noticed how similar they look to Bajorans? It's uncanny."

Garak rolled his thumb over the transmitter in his pocket. "They also look much like Vulcans. I wouldn't have come for anything else, Barkan."

"So we're back to first name basis, then." Barkan smiled. "Perhaps you'll be amenable to my suggestion, then."

Garak didn't bother to respond.

Barkan's mouth twisted. "Obviously, I don't want your doctor. He means less than nothing to me. Palandine has… gone missing, while I've been away. And as I've made clear, I do not consider our partnership annulled."

Garak had long suspected such was the case with Palandine. His few contacts didn't run in her circles, but they had heard nothing of her- and no news had remarked on Kel's emergence party. A girl of her standing would have a public one, and to not have it would normally make the news as well. The confirmation made his stomach drop all the same. It dropped further knowing their disappearance had not, as he had assumed, been at the military's direction.

"My brother died in the war with the Federaji, as you know. I am the last Lokar."

Garak flexed his hand in his pocket. It was a quiet admission regarding Kel, but a quiet admission was still terrifying. "It always comes back to this with you."

"I can end your exile."

Garak’s tongue stuck.

Barkan smiled. "Yes, even considering that incident on Bajor."

Garak centered himself in his mind. The cost of ending his exile this way was being alone with Barkan. Without the Order behind him. And if he struggled to conceive… Lokar would not examine himself. Besides, he surely wanted revenge.

But, to be on Cardassia again… and he still had contacts outside the Order… he could even find Palandine, he was smarter than whoever Central Command had assigned to look for her.

If it was Tain before him, he knows he wouldn't bother weighing the options. No matter what he'd asked, Garak would do.

He will still have to earn Tain’s forgiveness if he accepts. Until then, he will still treat Garak as a traitor and enemy. And Garak knows- Tain prides himself on outliving his enemies.

“You seem overwhelmed.” Barkan stepped behind Garak, squeezing his shoulder ridges- not in a way appropriate to do in one's office. “I'll let you sleep on it, hm?”

“In a cell?”

“Hardly.” Barkan’s grip eased, hands sliding down Garak’s shoulders. “Second. Show Elim to our guest quarters.” The helmeted guard nodded.

It was a cell. A comfortable cell (not silk quilt comfortable), the one you got when you fucked the warden, but a cell nonetheless. He couldn't leave, after all.

But if he was smarter than Barkan, he could get out. And if he could get out, he could trust himself to take the deal and come out on top.

---

Julian laid on the floor of his cell, pressing his swollen cheek to the cold tiles.

After Lokar was satisfied with himself, the helmeted guard took him back here. According to his internal clock, it was well into the night.

He turned, giving his the other side of his face a chance with the tile. Left-down, left-up, right-up...

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of feet.

Earlier, a medic had come to see him, and promptly left upon being satisfied that Julian's injuries wouldn't kill him. He'd expected to be left alone for some time after that- it had only been three hours.

Julian kept still, closing his eyes most of the way.

The security field's hum ceased abruptly. Whoever it was walked in, stopping by his hip- Julian could just make out the toe of a uniform boot. Not the medic again, then, or anyone else interesting.

"Preparing for death." The helmeted guard muttered to himself. Julian heard him sling his rifle onto his back, out of immediate reach.

Nothing for it.

Julian braced his arm against the floor and swung his legs up and forward, catching him below the knee.

It wasn't his best, but it worked- knocking the guard off balance and having him flail a bit, hands away from his gun.

Julian got up, grabbing the rifle and strap. It wasn't that hard to tear the two apart- there was decent give, and the snapshot unfastened easily.

The guard spun on his heel. Julian hit his side with the rifle, between his ribs. Unfazed, the guard grabbed Julian by his shirt and hauled him forward. Julian hit him on the side of the head with the rifle, then jabbed him in the front of his neck with his elbow.

The helmet was more about secrecy than armour. The guard grunted in pain. Julian hit him again, then threw the rifle, skittering, across the room.

The helmeted guard slammed him against the wall. Julian grabbed for his throat, shaking off the dizziness.

At first the guard ignored it, slamming him again. Julian's grip did not break.

It was a common misconception that you couldn't strangle a Cardassian, because of the shape of their cervical vertebrae. It was certainly near impossible to break a Cardassian's neck- the force required would decapitate most. But strangulation simply required one to know where to put pressure- just below the corners of the jaw.

Two more slams, a little more panicked, then the guard grabbed his wrists, trying to break his grip.

This wasn't the time to worry about being found out.

Julian threw the guard to the floor once he slumped against him and began stripping his uniform off.

If nothing else, he could get word back to Deep Space Nine about where exactly he was- though Barkan wasn't too unlikely of a who, narrowing things down still would take time, and wouldn't help them much. It wasn’t exactly easy to get prisoners out of the Union even during scheduled exchanges.

The fit wasn't terrible. Fortunately, most Cardassians were Julian’s height, or a bit taller.

Now he just had to hope Second was the one monitoring his cell.

He pulled Second under his cot, so it wouldn't be too obvious who was laying on the floor looking in from outside. Pressing a fob hidden in Second's pocket rematerialized the security field.

Julian took a second to breathe, and turned. Would he be able to send a message from Barkan's office? That was where he knew to go- if nothing else, it'd be safer than wandering around.

Julian adjusted the strap of the rifle, and began heading for the first locked door. Before he even got there, he ran into trouble- not for himself, thankfully.

The first tell was that the lights were darkened- someone had cut the power here. Julian steeled himself, pressing onwards.

Garak was a welcome sight, even when fighting a guard by himself. Neither paid him attention- Garak was focused on winning, and the guard had his back to Julian.

Julian had never seen Garak get physical while in his right mind before. During his withdrawal- well. It hadn't come down to it, but Julian had been afraid of hurting him precisely because Garak was too strong to easily subdue.

The guard lost.

Garak faced him, and stood, approximating a stance. "Well, Second. I didn't expect a friend of Barkan’s to be so chivalrous as to wait his turn."

Julian took off the helmet and allowed Garak’s genuine surprise to warm him.

"Doctor." Garak stared a moment longer. "I was coming to get you- but it seems you only needed some help, hm?"

Julian touched the bruises on his cheek. "These are from earlier, actually."

Garak raised his brow ridges. "What a busy week you've had."

---

Julian had let Garak take the lead on their detour, though he wasn't entirely happy about it. He said nothing, but it showed in his posture.

Garak had never been to this particular prison before, but he was familiar with the particulars of their construction. Seperate maintainence corridors with manual locks were necessary- not too unlike the station's, though with more vertical space.

"May I see that?" Garak held out a hand beside him, eyeing the lock. Julian handed him the rifle.

Breaking it was a little louder than Garak would have liked, but there was nothing to be done about it.

Garak had Julian slip inside before him, and urged him to walk a few meters before leaning against the wall to rest.

“You don't seem surprised to see me.”

Julian looked up, having chosen to sit on the floor. “Should I be?”

“We fought the last time we talked.”

Julian managed not to laugh, but couldn't help a smile. “Garak, anyone could tell that fight wasn't about me.”

Garak narrowed his eyes in slight annoyance. Yes, it hadn't been his best showing.

Julian looked down. "Besides, practically speaking, there's not many people who would get here so quickly. The rest of the senior staff, you, Odo... you're about it."

And it hadn't been so long that a quick rescue was utterly improbable to him, compared to drawn out negotiations, or no rescue at all.

"I presume I make that list because of my connection to Barkan. After all, compared to the rest, my qualifications are lacking." Lying was always easy for Garak, even silly, obvious lies.

Julian looked up again, this time serious. "Barkan isn't going to leave it at this. He knows where you are." He stood.

“I know.”

“So we can't just escape.” The hall was narrow, and Julian’s expression was made all the more intense this close up.

“What else can we do?” Garak raised his eye ridges. “I got caught trying to get to you. You only haven't gotten caught yet because you got lucky with the uniform and you have decent aim. Do you think assassinating a warden is a spur of the moment decision?”

“What's your plan, then?” Julian didn't hide his frustration.

“To get out of here alive, just like it was when I beamed down. We are in his territory, doctor. He has the advantage. That's why you were brought here. I am far safer on the station than just about anywhere else in the quadrant.”

Julian covered his eyes with his hands, frustrated. Garak, being the one who lived this careful balance, had a point. Even if Julian didn't like it.

Garak took his transmitter out of his pocket and began adjusting the dials on it.

Julian looked up again, probably in response to the clicking Garak himself only barely heard. “What's that?”

“A transmitter. We'll have ten minutes to talk when it's activated.”

Julian stared at him. “To who?”

“Commander Sisko took your disappearance personally.”

“Ah.” Julian paused, clearly reasoning through it. “By himself?”

“He didn't want anyone else in trouble if things went poorly. I only barely convinced him to stay on the shuttle.” Garak stopped for a moment. “The only things of use on you are that uniform and rifle, correct?”

“More or less.”

Garak nodded to himself and hit the last button. “Commander, can you hear me?”

There was a slight crackle on the other end. “I can hear you. Do you have Dr. Bashir?”

It'd ended up more the other way around- “I'm here.”

“I take it Lokar isn't simply handing you over.”

“No. We're going to need to break out.”

A moment of silence. “Alright. What are we working with?”

“I've got a uniform with a helmet and a rifle. And I stole some gloves from the medic who they had look at me earlier.” Julian shifted to rest against the wall.

“I have everything I beamed down with: this transmitter, a spare knife, nothing else interesting.”

“Did you find an angle with Lokar?”

“No.”

Julian looked at him with a tinge of suspicion. It almost made Garak feel better. “Nothing?”

“He wants revenge. Unfortunately, I can't give that to him- and if I did, I don't think he'd let you go anyways.”

Julian accepted that, but his brow remained slightly furrowed.

“I don’t think your suspicion of possible sabotage is wrong, Garak, but so far nothing has happened up here. They did weaken the strength of the tractor beam, but that’s all. And judging from what I saw of the engine earlier, it won’t be able to break the hold on it’s own.”

“That won’t be a problem. Remember what I told you about the triangular device?"

“The one you clearly soldered together on the way over? Yes.”

“In…” Garak checked the time on the transmitter. “Half an hour, attach it to the spot I told you about. You won't need to worry about the tractor beam once its active.”

“That's me taken care of. How are you two getting out of there? You don't know where the transporter room is.”

“No need.” Garak said quickly. “We just need to get to Barkan’s office. They beamed me directly down there. Many in administrative positions have the transporter block stripped from their offices for convenience. It seems he picked up the habit.”

“Do you know how to get there?”

“Of course,” overlapped with Julian’s “Yes.”

“He had me brought in a few times to harass me.” Julian gave as explanation.

“That explains your face,” Garak said to himself, then spoke louder, “Once we're in, I can signal you on the other transmitter. The transporter controls aren't too different on the shuttle compared to what you're used to. There shouldn't be any other life signs to be confused by once the signal goes up.”

“And if you don't get there?”

“It's still what we agreed to on the station.”

“Alright. I'll be waiting for both of you.”

Garak ended the transmission, looking down the corridor as he put away the transmitter.

“What did you agree to?”

Garak looked at him, managing not to startle at Julian speaking so close to his ear that he could feel his breath across it. “My dear doctor. What do you think?”

---

They couldn't get to Lokar's office from the maintenance corridor, unfortunately, but it did let them bypass most of the locked doors.

Garak peered out in the hallway first. "Clear, so far."

Julian put the helmet back on before stepping out after him. There was another door, a few meters away, not locked, and then they'd be at Barkan’s office.

Foot steps sounded. Quickly, they turned to each other- Julian grabbing Garak roughly, and Garak putting up a theatrical struggle.

It was one of the normal guards. He laughed, amused. “I heard the warden had a guest. Did he not like his accommodations?”

“Not at all.” Garak snarled. “One is hardly a guest in a prison."

Julian jerked on his arms, pulling him down the hall.

“I am not going back in there!” Garak was testing the limits of of the strength Julian normally allowed himself to use, but not too badly. “Central Command will be hearing about this!”

Julian raised his eyebrows. Banking on the guard not knowing how nonsensical that statement was wouldn't have been his first choice. He kept pulling on Garak, they were almost to the door, and-

“Second, since when do you wear gloves?”

Julian kept pulling on Garak. He'd hardly premeditated all this- he wouldn't be able to imitate Second’s voice on his first try.

The guard raised his rifle. “Second.”

Julian stopped. They did not have time to get to the door before the guard fired his gun.

Unfortunately, the very act gave him away.

“Well, at least he won't be such a smug bastard after this.” The guard advanced.

Garak was clearly thinking too much to admonish him for the potentially fatal error.

“Take off the helmet or I'll shoot the other one.”

Slowly, Julian did so.

“Ah. That's why you're a special interest prisoner.” He laughed.

Julian hadn't turned around yet, but it sounded like he'd walked until he was just out of arms reach.

“You do know he was planning to go back to the warden, don't you?”

An odd look entered Garak’s eye, then- he yanked the helmet out of Julian’s hand and lunged forward, pushing Julian aside. He swung down first, nearly knocking the rifle from the guards hands, then at his head.

There was a loud crunch.

Julian grabbed his own rifle from its holstered position and aimed. His parents had gotten their money's worth. Sometimes he was even glad of it.

Garak stalked back to him, pulling the helmet down over his head.

“You aren't taking his…”

“We can't shoot our way out, doctor. We have to keep up the charade successfully if we run into someone else.”

Julian felt a hot rush of shame, but Garak seemed content to leave it at that. He pushed past Julian and through the door.

---

The hall to Barkan’s office had not been busy before, so Garak didn't expect to see anyone. At the same time, the absence of others had him on the knife's edge of aware and nervous.

"You didn't happen to get Second's access fob, did you?" Garak asked.

"Actually..." Julian stuck his hand in his pocket. "I might have." He handed something over.

Garak looked at the polymer in his hand.

There was such a thing as too easy.

There was, also, no other good path out of here. He'd failed the parameters of his own test- he couldn't stay, take his chances with Barkan, and leave Julian in custody. Especially not after Julian had attacked Second.

Garak pressed the fob up against the door's scanner.

The door opened to a dark room. The power hadn't been cut- if it had, the door wouldn't have opened, and there would have been emergency lights. Garak shut the door behind them and pressed the button on his transmitter, letting Sisko know they'd reached their goal.

Julian stood in place, shifting his weight. "Something isn't right."

Garak didn't reply. Hopefully, this part would be fast, and the rest would catch up with them after they were on the runabout-

The door creaked behind them.

Garak kept still as light cut across the floor.

"Second? Did our guest get antsy in his quarters?"

Barkan’s tone was easy. He assumed he was still in control.

Garak saw Julian’s fingers tighten on the rifle. Don't, he thought, wishing it could be heard. You won't be able to commit. The fallout will spin out of control immediately. Don't.

Luckily, Second was a somewhat quiet man, and Barkan had interpreted the finger tightening as a "yes, something like that". He circled around them, sitting at my desk. "Am I lucky, Elijje? Have you reached a conclusion about my proposal?"

A good Cardassian doesn't believe in fickle luck, Garak thought. "Perhaps."

Barkan’s smile broadened. Naturally, he assumed his offer had been too tempting for Garak to refuse him. "Are you always shy at times like these?"

Garak almost laughed at him. He'd been acting both times- was Barkan not suspicious of the first?

He replied easily, "Perhaps not all of me has outgrown being Ten Lubak."

There was no way to signal to Sisko that they'd been interrupted. He would know soon enough, in any case. Julian remained tense beside him.

Barkan let out a soft laugh. "Ten Lubak could be rather shy, couldn't he? Back then, that was... alluring."

At what point, Garak wondered. Their first two meetings had been marked by scorn.

The trouble with transporters was, without a badge, the operator had to select individuals manually, going off life signs- species, age, height, and weight. Barkan was taller, but otherwise, he and Garak had similar readings.

Barkan's desk terminal beeped, indicating an incoming call. Barkan pressed the button to answer it.

"Warden, that Federaji prisoner you were interested in has escaped. We just found Second on the ground in his cell."

Barkan and Garak both reacted quickly. Barkan lunged for Julian, and Garak lunged at Barkan, throwing him back into the wall.

Garak’s stomach lurched, and he had enough time to be grateful Sisko had chosen correctly even with unfamiliar controls before the sight of Barkan’s office faded.

He and Julian had been of the same mind, it seemed, as each had a hand on the other, keeping them supported as they rematerialized on the runabout.

Sisko turned his chair to face them. “Next time I'm bringing the Defiant.”

Julian took off the helmet and looked at Sisko. “What do you mean next time?”

"It's good to be prepared, doctor." Garak let go of him. "Thank you for all your help- I'll take over here for awhile, commander." He leaned over the console. "You and Dr. Bashir should get some rest."

---

Garak had wanted to be alone, Julian guessed. And he was- for as long as it took Julian to take a nap.

He woke up to the sound of Sisko getting out of his bunk. "Commander?"

"Ah, I'm sorry, Julian. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's fine. I expect you're probably going to order me away from work when we get back anyway." Julian sat up. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine. However, I expect Garak didn't sleep during the time he beamed down, and I know he didn't sleep beforehand. I'm going to relieve him in a bit."

"In a bit?"

"I'm going to shower first."

Julian got out of bed. "Don't use the water setting. I'll go tell him."

Garak leaned over the console, carefully going over every readout he could get displayed, it seemed.

"Sisko's in the shower. He wants to take over once he's..." Julian trailed off.

Garak had turned to look at him. Very... particularly. Julian’s hand had come to rest on the back of the pilot's chair. Garak’s own hand crept up to cover it. "Yes, doctor?"

"Uhm. He'll be out in a little. I warned him off using the water setting. I know the temperature can be difficult." Julian backed up a bit, his mouth dry and face growing warm. "He had the top bunk, but we can swap if you want."

Garak kept staring a moment. "I'll decide after I get a look at them."

Julian nodded, and retreated to the sleeping cabin.

He laid back down on the bottom bunk, facing the wall. His heartbeat was fast and his cheeks stayed flushed with heat, even as he heard Sisko pass behind him into the cockpit, the door opening, closing, and opening. And closing.

He was able to feel that stare again.

The mattress dipped behind him as Garak slipped under the covers. Things were quiet for a moment.

“You said you didn't want anything else, that night. Have you never wanted anything else of me, doctor?”

“Garak,” Julian started, then cut himself off with a gasp as Garak's hands slipped under his shirt, pulling him close.

“Yes?” Garak

"I- we-"

"Surely, you know why Barkan focused his attention on you, doctor. The conclusions he jumped to the second he saw you."

Julian closed his eyes. "Yes, I suppose it's rather ridiculous." A faint dissuasion.

Garak was quiet for a moment. "To be condemned for something you haven't done yet, yes, I suppose it is."

Julian opened his mouth, then closed it. He turned in Garak’s arms to face him.

Garak shifted back slightly. “Just once. We don’t have to think on it ever again.”

Even Julian could appreciate that it was a pretty lie, even if it wasn't a happy one. It was his move- Julian leaned forward, tilting his head to kiss Garak.

"I'm still not safe." Julian reminded him as he broke away.

"How convenient. So am I." Garak nudged Julian onto his back, rising up over him. "It's nice to be on the same page." He pulled Julian’s pajama bottoms down to his knees.

Garak’s gaze had dimmed in intensity somewhat, but Julian still felt pinned. It wasn't exactly a bad feeling. One only had to look down to confirm that. He kicked his trousers the rest of the way off and began pulling at Garak’s tunic- fair was fair.

Garak let him, but pulled his own trousers down. He leaned down, blanketing Julian and pressing him onto the mattress. Garak kissed him as he shifted into what Julian guessed was a more comfortable position.

Julian’s cock slipped between Garak's thighs, and groaned into the other man's mouth as he jerked upwards against him. Noticing, Garak pressed his thighs together. Julian let out a choked moan. Apparently Garak had been anticipating this for some time, as the soft flesh between his legs was slick.

Garak grabbed Julian’s knee and pulled it to the side, spreading his legs apart.

Julian broke the kiss. "Garak-? Oh!" His head fell back as Garak- it was, what he could best describe as a thrust, with Julian's cock trapped between his thighs. Julian grabbed his hips, letting out a string of breathy moans as he tried to meet Garak, thrust for thrust.

He'd certainly never tried intercrural like this.

Garak’s teeth grazed his earlobe, making Julian flinch away.

Garak pulled back, and Julian stroked his shoulder, trying to soothe him.

"It's alright, you just- startled me." Cardassian front teeth were sharper than many other species, despite not looking so obvious.

Julian’s hand tightened as Garak's teeth met his skin again, this time the soft flesh neat the hinge of his jaw.

No longer occupied by kissing, Julian looked down at the shoulder in his grasp, watching the deepening blue color spread over the ridge, and the shift of muscle under the skin as Garak kept thrusting against him.

Garak's teeth traveled down his neck- never biting down fully, as Julian half expected. Only grazing, nipping- almost like a tease.

Julian’s cock slipped out from between Garak's thighs as Garak groaned into his collarbone. A rush of warm wetness spilled forth, and Julian felt something new sliding out of Garak, prodding against his stomach.

Garak’s breaths changed as he ground his cock against Julian’s. Julian could feel ridges, though instead of the scales he was used to, they were of soft flesh that reminded him of the inside of a body. It also felt teasing- brushing against his cock, but more forcefully against his stomach, leaving wet trails.

Julian slid a hand down between their bodies, wrapping his hand around both of them.

Garak shuddered above him, halting for a moment before fucking into Julian’s hand, against his cock, with renewed vigor.

---

Garak would die before saying so, but having had his cycle hit its peak after the removal of the wire violently confronted him with the fact that while he certainly felt arousal, orgasm carried shockingly limited pleasure for him now. Perhaps it was temporary.

Pleasure hadn't really been the point, of course. And the rest of it had still been nice enough.

They had had to part to clean up- tired as they both still were, neither had really wanted to go to sleep like that. Julian was in his arms now facing the wall of the bunk in a mirror of before.

Garak had known the vagueries of the human body, but of all the aliens he'd met, he'd never seen one naked before. Some parts were unremarkably similar to other species- the same body hair he could expect from dozens of others, the nipples, the navel indention.

What had stuck him was, though the muscle of Julian's body was lean and hard, his skin was delicate. That the graze of his teeth had caused such a reaction, on unbruised flesh... and of course, the sight of darker bruising on Julian’s face and chest. 

He could see the marks he'd left with his teeth now, a few above the collar of Julian’s sleeping clothes. They were superficial enough to hopefully fade over the next few days. Enough not to come up when Julian would surely be physically examined and debriefed regarding Barkan.

Barkan...

“You were thinking about going back to him. Weren't you.” Julian spoke, evidently not asleep. It was almost like the thought had drawn his attention.

A snarled feeling rose in Garak. “Who?”

“Lokar. He offered you something, didn't he?”

There was that infuriating pity again. “It doesn't matter.”

It was quiet for a moment. "Alright."

If Barkan persisted, Garak would refuse. He couldn't rely on himself to deal with the man- he'd proven that twice now. There were other ways back to Cardassia, and this wasn't the first time an opportunity was simply untenable.

He just had to be clever in the future.

[heretolurkandnothingmore]

Another tag game! 15 questions for 15 friends.

Three beautiful people tagged me in this one (@cottonraincoat @somethingsteff @willameena) thank you, friends! I am having criminal amounts of fun with these)) Let's see...

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yes, actually! My great-grandma. My full name is a shortened version of hers, the same one family always used. We were like little Hertie and granny Hertie)

2. When was the last time you cried?

I get misty-eyed often, but my last full-blown wailing was weeks, if not months ago. Never could let my emotions out until they boil over.

3. Do you have kids?

None of my own, but it's complicated)

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Not really any. Not a sporty person. But I used to have swimming lessons for years! If there was a way to swim without needing to just go in laps at a constant speed, I'd start doing it again, too.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Not much in text, moreso in speech.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Usually some sort of detail, like wild curls, bracelets or just the general vibe. I don't like making eye contact.

7. What's your eye colour?

Dark brown with greenish spots, maybe? The eye contact thing includes my own reflection)

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Are there any happy endings? Musical references aside, of course those. Horror is not my genre when it comes to movies)

9. Any talents?

Creativity, I guess? I mean, my art isn't half bad, that has to count for something. But then the desire to do art came naturally to me, not the skill itself.

10. Where were you born?

Same city block as mom and grandma, actually)

11. What are your hobbies?

Playing guitar, drawing, getting stuck in videogames. Reading books, when I manage to make my brain work.

12. Do you have any pets?

Two cats and a dog, yes!) All rescues. One of the cats is my dumb orange son. The other is an independent old man. The dog is a family pet))

13. How tall are you?

160-something centimetres, depends on how bad my slouching is at any given time.

14. Favourite subject in school?

Biology! I used to dream of being a scientist, but life went a different direction.

15. Dream job?

No idea. I hoped to be an illustrator by now, or dead in the ground. Worst case scenario I'll join the family legacy (teachers, the lot of them. for four generations straight) and become an art teacher.

So, this is it)) I can't in good conscience tag a whole 15 people! But anyone, especially my dearest mutuals, is invited to participate.

[countrymusiclover]

14 - Still On Different Sides

Part 15

Battle of Heart and Mind

The plane was said to land in an hour where I decided it was time to introduce Erik to my mother because none of us knew if we would succeed today in stopping Raven from starting the war of the future. Erik was staring at the chess board in front of him in silence till he saw me standing before him. “Charles, just told me we are soon to land and there’s something I want to do before we’re on the ground.”

“And what is that, Addison?” He asked resting his chin on the palm of his hand,

Holding my hands together in front of me I sucked in a sharp breath hoping he wouldn’t panic too bad at what I was asking. “Meeting my mother.”

“God Addison….I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.” He ran his freehand through his hair.

I sent him the puppy dog eyes hoping he wouldn’t resist me then. “Please Erik. You are the father of her grandchild after all. She deserves to know who you are.”

“For you I will. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. I don’t think I will be what she expected.” He replied, meeting my gaze. He got to his feet and we walked over to where my mother was sitting watching the clouds outside until I cleared my throat.

Angela focused her attention on the two of us. “So is the father, Addi?”

“Yes he is, mom. This is Erik Lehnsherr.” I put one hand on his arm pointing at my mother introducing them. “Erik, this is my mother Angela.”

She raised her out to shake him as we sat down across from her. “Nice to meet you, Erik. So let me see if I have this right and correct me if I misunderstood. So you two have been through world war 2 concentration camps, tried to protect the world from your father, and then you had me help you break into the pentagon to have sex with him. Which resulted in you being pregnant now and you are trying to prevent a future war.”

“Yeah that’s basically the shortened version, mom.” I shrugged my shoulders blushing that she blurted the last part so boldly through the airplane.

Erik finally said his first words toward my mother with a proud smirk falling his gaze between the three of us. “She’s a fast learner just like you are, Addison.”

“What happened to you calling me Addi sometimes?” I glared at him lightly.

He smirked back at me. “And I’ve already told you the reason. It’s just what I like to call you.”

“You two are so adorable together. So when should I be expecting a wedding after the baby is born I assume?” My mother asked with a smirk on her face.

Erik rubbed the back of his neck. “Well I am not sure exactly when I am going to ask her to marry me. I have been locked up and I wasn’t sure I was ever going to get out of there to be honest.”

“I’ll be waiting for you to ask for my permission some day, Lehnsherr. Now what type of power do you have?” She leaned forward curiously in her eyes.

Removing the coin necklace from around my neck I held it out to him in my open palm. “Show her.” Erik nods his head simply, concentrating on the metal coin. The object hovered above my palm and he made it fly around the room a couple of times before collapsing softly back around my neck with such ease.

“Now the name Magneto makes so much more sense to me. That’s quite impressive. But I want you to remember something, Erik.” My mother got to her feet leaning over the table and getting in his face as much as she could manage. A threat slipped out of her lips. “If you ever hurt my daughter I know someone who can hunt you down and make you regret it if he ever brings his power back.”

Grabbing his hand in mine I saw Erik stiffen his back looking down the rows seeing Charles and Logan talking with each other. He nodded with a nervous gulp. “I’ll keep that in mind, Ms. Aspen.”

We had finally found the location of the board meeting event that Raven was said to have killed Trask at. Bolting into the office room our group saw Raven in her natural blue form laying on the table and some of the members laying knocked out on the floor around her. Charles rushed in front of me and Erik, concerned for his sister. “Charles.” Raven breathed out trying to catch her breath.

He ran a hand over her head. “We've come for you, Erik and I, together.”

“I never thought I could see you again.” She mumbled in relief.

He reassured his sister while my gaze noticed the short man standing in the corner who had to be Trask who created the weapon to wipe us all out. “I'm going to keep you safe I'm going to keep you out of their hands.”

“Erik.” Suddenly the gun that was laying beside my friend flies and lands in Erik’s hand.

Charles raises a hand standing in between the firearm and his foster sister. “Erik, what are you doing?”

“Securing our future.” Erik declares pointing the gun at her still. “Forgive me Mystique, as long as you're out there we'll never be safe.”

“Erik.” I warned him with my mother standing beside Hank and Logan who was having a seizure or something over in the corner.

Raven told her brother while getting up. “Use your powers Charles, stop him.”

Erik told her about to fire the gun. “He can't.” Hank ran at the same time she ran and broke through the glass window to get away. Hank tackled Erik causing the weapon to still fire and a bullet went into her leg as she hit the ground.

“Charles, I’m going to try and stop him before he kills her in front of the whole world.” I placed a hand on his shoulder not waiting for a response bolting towards the window.

“Addi!” Charles cried out my name as I jumped through the broken glass, thankful that when I held my hands out towards the ground that I didn’t die since my body was hovering off the pavement a little bit.

Letting my feet drop to the ground I saw Raven in a different form trying to get away but her limp was slowly her down. “Erik, leave her alone right now.” I holler out to him when some policeman tries moving towards him but he just throws them backwards like twigs on trees heading straight for my friend.

“Addison, I am doing this for our future. If she’s alive and kills him we will never be safe.” He turns to me still holding Raven close to his feet with the bullet in her leg.

Making my hands into fists I glared at him. “Killing her in front of the entire public isn’t a better option either. They will hate us and our children.”

“Children, you didn’t tell me there was more than one. We have to run once she is dead.” He raised a brow at me, looking over his shoulder at her and raised his hand drawing the bullet from her leg and it hovered on his palm.

Raven begged him. “Erik!”

“I’m sorry - ugh!” He apologized before I raised my hand, throwing him away from her and into one of the metal barricades causing some people to quickly back away on the other side of them. He shook his head realizing what just happened. “Addi, what the hell are you doing?”

“Protecting her from you. I can’t let you kill her even if it means you never know your babies.” I declare watching him get to his feet.

He raised his hand drawing me to him by the coin necklace where I struggled against his power until we were pressing up against each other. “I don’t want to hurt you. I made a promise to your mother.” He grunted through his teeth intensely staring into my eyes.

“The only thing I can say is that I’m sorry about this.” I slammed my hands onto his chest seeing my hands turning red and he winced lowering himself to his knees and I lowered myself down onto my knees with him looking in Raven’s direction. “Get out of here. You know where we’ll be if you need help.”

She nodded, transforming as a random person and blending into the crowd of people who were running now in fear. “Thanks best friend.”

“Addi, we are supposed to be on the same side. Not enemies, you and I!” Erik grunted holding onto my forearms tightly.

I removed my hands from his body, stepping away from him. I was at conflict with my own heart and mind right now. I loved him but for the sake of my unborn children I couldn’t start a war between humanity and mutants. Nothing good would come from such a thing. That’s the whole reason why Logan was here in the first place. “This is for my children.” I closed my eyes, throwing him by raising a hand and launching him into the metal gate.

Erik groaned at the impact quickly standing up and he threw my body where I rolled on the dirt. Scrambling to my feet I got in a fighting stance seeing him raising pieces of the fence trying to cage me in. I throw a hand forward holding them back and tossing them into the sky away from us. “We are stronger together, you see that. I know you do. Stop fighting me, babe.”

“I can’t do that, Erik.” I shake my head no glaring at him, focusing my eyes on one of the metal helmets that was on a police officer's head. It slowly raised behind his head and thankfully he didn’t see it yet.

Erik made a fist and a pair of handcuffs came flying at me. I ducked my head thinking he was trying to hit me. Yet they wrapped around my legs and I collapsed onto the ground with him slowly walking towards me. “I won’t hurt you if you stop fighting me right now, Addi.” He lowered himself down on a knee to be eye level with me.

“I choose….to apologize one last time for this.” I mumbled under my breath moving the helmet over his head waiting for the right chance.

Erik sent me a confused look on his face before I cut him off by knocking him over the head with the helmet and his body fell into my arms where he went unconscious. “What are you talking about - uh!”

“I’m sorry, Erik. I truly am.” I whispered, running one hand through his hair getting up to my feet and leaving him there knowing he would wake up soon enough since I didn’t hit him too harshly. Running through the back alleyways I found our plane a few miles later slamming down in one of the seats just as we took off into the sky.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

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[aspenmissing]

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚁𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚅𝚘𝚕𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗 (𝙿𝚝 𝟸)

"But how your last name is Gane, not Shiro...Gane ohhh, Gane is the shortened version of Shirogane" Lance says, realizing.

"You just figured that out now" Y/N says, face palming.

"Anyway, sorry to interrupt this grand reveal, but back to the aliens" Hunk says, looking to Shiro "Where are they now? Are they coming? Are they coming for all of us? Like where are they at this very moment?"

"I can't really put it together. I-I remember the word Voltron. It's some kind of weapon they're looking for, but I don't know why. Whatever it is, I think we need to find it before they do" Shiro explains. Hunk then goes through two bags.

"Well last night, I was rummaging through Pidge and Y/N's stuff, and I found these pictures. " Hunk shows everyone a picture of Pidge and a girl. And Y/N with Shiro, him giving her a piggy back "Look it's his girlfriend. And I always wondered why Y/N and Shiro were so close, until now"

"Hey, gimme that!" Pidge says, snatching the photo back and her bag. 

"What were you doing in out stuff?" Y/N asks, getting her photo back from Hunk, placing it into her coat pocket and grabbing her own bag.

""I wa—I was looking for a candy bar. But then, I found Pidge's diary and started reading it" Hunk pulls out Pidge's diary. Y/N steals it back, giving it back to Pidge.

"You don't go through people's things, Hunk!"

"And I noticed that the repeating series of numbers the aliens are searching for looks a lot like a Fraunhofer life"

"From...who?" Keith asks.

"It's a number describing the emission spectrum of an element, only this element doesn't exist on Earth . I thought it might be this Voltron , and I think I can build a machine to look for it, kinda like a Voltron Geiger Counter"

"Hunk, you big, gassy genius!" Lance says.

"It's pretty fascinating, really. Th-The wavelength looks like this" Hunk pulls out a graph of the wavelength. Keith grabs it from him.

"Give me that" Keith matches the wavelength's appearance to an array of boulders he has seen and has a photo of him.

==

The group arrives at the location with Hunk's new device, which Pidge holds up.

 "...Okay, I admit it. This is super freaky" Lance said.

"I'm getting a reading" Hunk uses the device to locate a cave with ancient carvings inside

 "Whoa" we all said.

 "What are these?" Shiro asks as they all look around.

 "These are the lion carvings I was telling you about, They're everywhere around here" Keith says. Lance approaches a carving and touches it, causing all of them to light up, surprising everyone.

"Whoa... Whoa!" He jumped back a bit. 

"Heh, they've never done that before" The ground beneath them collapses and the group all fall down, sliding down on water. Y/N laughs as everyone screams. Pidge is sat on Hunk's shoulder, pulling his hair. They all make it to the end, and Y/N was first down. Unfortunately, Lance has landed on the girl, knocking the air out of her. 

"Ow" She groans.

"Oh sorry, Y/N" Lance smiles sheepishly, helping her up. Lance looked up and gasps.

"They are everywhere" They look to see a big robotic blue lion, a force field around it.

 "Is this it? Is this the Voltron?" Pidge said.

 "It...must be" Shiro says.

"This is what's been causing all of this crazy energy out here" Y/N says walking towards the lion. The rest following.

"Looks like there's a force field around it" Keith says.

"Does anyone else get the feeling this is staring at them" Lance says while moving from side to side. 

"Hmm... no" Shiro said making a weird look at lance. 

"Yeah the eyes are totally following me" he still continued to move side to side. Keith runs up to the force field and touches it with no reaction. 

"I wonder how we get through this" He tried to push through the force field but fails. Lance came up to Keith, Y/N besides him. 

"Maybe you just have to knock" Lance says. He knocks on the force field twice and it reacts, dissipating and igniting the area around them in blue. The group sees an Image of Voltron forming from the six Lions in their minds. Lance turns around to face the group "Uh, did everyone just see that?" 

"Voltron is a robot. Voltron is a huge, huge, awesome robot" Y/N says, eyes sparkling. Hunk and Y/N share a look.

"Awesome!" They say in unison.

"And this thing is only one part of it! I wonder where the rest of them are" Pidge says. Shiro looks up at the Lion.

"This is what they're looking for" Keith mouth was open 

"Incredible" He says. The Blue Lion suddenly lowers its head and opens its mouth to allow them inside, terrifying Hunk and Pidge. Lance hesitates, but gleefully enters and takes a seat in the cockpit.

"Here we go" Lance says. The seat jolts forward, making Lance scream, and the command console activates "Hehehe! All right! Very nice!" Everyone else enters the cockpit.

"Okay, guys, I-I feel the need to point out, just so that we're all, y'know, aware: We are in some kind of futuristic alien cat head right now" Y/N stands behind Pidge, looking around in amazement. Lance senses the Blue Lion communication with him.

Whoa, did you guys just hear that?" Lance asks.

"Hear what?" Keith said. Lance looks up and down.

"I-I think its talking to me. Hmm...Um.." Lance presses a few buttons; the Blue Lion stands up and roars. Hunk and Pidge scream.

"Awesome" Y/N says. Lance grips the handles.

 "Okay. Got it. Now lets try this" 

==

Lance smashes the Blue Lion out of the cavern and takes off flying, doing somersaults and wild turns in the air, terrifying the team. Hunk and Pidge scream, Y/N gripping onto Shiro and Keith. Hunk and Pidge gripping onto Lance.

"YOU ARE. THE WORST. PILOT. EVER" Keith shouts.

"I AGREE!" Y/N shouts back.  The screaming continues as Lance kept doing flips. The Blue Lion then lands and runs along the desert at high speed.

"Isn't this awesome!?" Lance says. 

"Make it stop. Make it stop" Hunk pleads. Looking like he's about to throw up.

 "I'm not making it do anything. It's like its on autopilot" Lance shouts. The Blue Lion takes off into the sky.

"Where are you going?" Y/N shouts.

"I just said it's on autopilot, it says their is an alien ship coming towards earth. I think we are supposed to stop it"

"What did it say, exactly" Pidge asks.

"It wasn't like saying words, more like feeding ideas into my brain, kind of" Y/N gives him a weird look.

 "Well if this thing is the weapon they're coming for, why don't we just, I don't know, give it to them? Maybe they'll leave us alone. Sorry, lion. Nothing personal." Hunk said. 

"You don't understand. These monsters spread like a plague throughout the galaxy, destroying everything in their path. There's no bargaining with them. They won't stop until everything is dead" Shiro says. Everyone stares at Hunk. 

"...Oh never mind then. The Blue Lion leaves the Earth's atmosphere and a warship from the Galra Empire suddenly appears. Everyone gasps.

"Uh... Holy crow! Is that really and alien ship?!" Hunk asks.

 "They found me..." Shiro mutters and Y/N looks at him. The Galra warship opens fire.

"We've got to get out of here" Pidge shots. 

"Hang on" Lance yells. Lance pilots to dodge the onslaught of laser guns. "All right. Okay, I think I know what to do" Pidge leans

"Be careful, man. This isn't a simulator" 

 "Well, that's good. I always wreck the Simulator" Lance uses the Blue Lion's mouth cannon to blast the length of the warship  "Let's try this" Lance uses the Blue Lion's claw to tear into the warship's side.

Nice job, Lance" Shiro praises.

"Okay, I think it's time we get these guys away from our planet" Lance says. The Galra warship peruses the Blue Lion.

"Oh, no!" 

"They're gaining on us" Y/N warns. 

"It's weird. They're not trying to shoot at us, there just chasing" Lance says.

"Okay,  seriously, now we think having aliens follow us is good? I am not on board with this new direction, guys"

"Where are we?" Keith asks.

"Edge of the solar system. There's Kerberos" Shiro says, pointing out Kerberos.

"It takes months for our ships to get out this far." Pidge said. 

"We got out here 5 seconds" Y/N adds. A Wormhole appears before them.

"What is that?!" Hunk said.

"Uh, this may seem crazy, but I think the Lion wants us to go through there"

"Where does it go?" Pidges questions.

I-I don't know. , you're the senior officer here. What should we do?" Everyone looks to him.

"Whatever is happening, the lion knows more than we do. I say we trust it, but we're a team now. We should decide together" The team looks at each other in silence. Pidge puts his hand on Lance's shoulder.

"...All right. Guess we're all ditching class tomorrow" The Blue Lion enters the Wormhole and is disappears before the Galra warship can follow.

==

The team groans from the turbulence of the Wormhole and exit to a different part of the universe.

"Whoa. That was..." Lance starts.

"Amazing!" Y/N eyes sparkled. Hunk grunts and vomits in the Blue Lion, but pauses.

So sorry-" He says, before continuing to vomit. Lance looks away in disgust and Y/N laughs.

"Poor Hunk" 

"I'm just surprised it took this long" Pidge says, readjusting his glasses.

"I don't recognize any of these constellations. We must be a long, long way from Earth." Shiro said. 

"The lion seems to want to go to this planet... I think its going home" As the Blue Lion blasts towards the planet, entering its atmosphere, the team huddles closer together from the intense turbulence.

 "Guys, personal space. Hunk, your breath is killing me. Only Y/N can be in my personal space" Lance smirks. 

"Lance" Y/N says, hitting his head.

Ow!"

"Don't forget she's my sister, Lance" Shiro says with his arms crossed. Lance could feel the stares before Hunk breaks the tension.

"Um, is it just me or is anyone else having second thoughts about flying through a mysterious ? Why are we listening to a robotic lion anyway?" Y/N raised her hand. 

"I don't regret it" She says.

"It got us away from an alien warship, didn't it" Lance says.

"I don't know if you noticed, but we're in an alien warship" Keith said. Lance smirks.

Oh, are you scared"

"With you at the helm... Terrified" Lance gives him an annoyed look.

"All right, knock it off! No one's happy to be in this situation, but we're here now. If we want to get through this, we've got to do it together" Shiro looks to Y/N and whispers "How'd you put up with them"

"Practice" She whispers back.

"What do we do?" Pidge asks.

"First, we find out where we're heading, Lance" Shiro says, looking at Lance

"I don't know" Lance looks at the group "I'm sorry. The Lion's not talking to me anymore. ... Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Shh! Listen. I think I hear something" A hig-pitches squeal sounds.

"I'm hearing it, too" Y/N said. Lance smirks.

"It's kind of a- high pitched squeal?" The "High-pitches squeal, slowly turns into a farts; the team holds their noses in disgust and Lance continues to smirk.

"Come on. Lance!" Shiro, Keith, Hunk says.

"Good god, Lance, that's disgusting!" Y/N says.

"But seriously, there's a castle up ahead" Everyone's amazed as the Blue Lion approaches the Castle and the latent Castleship reactivates. The Lion lands in the courtyard.

"Wow" Keith says.

"Keep your guard up" Shiro says.

"Something wrong?" 

"My crew was captured by aliens once. I'm not going to let it happen again" After the team exits the Blue Lion, it stands up, startling everyone.

"Oh no! Oh no! I knew it was going to eat us! No" Hunk cries. The Blue Lion roars, opening the Castleship's doors. Hunk cowers behind Shiro and Y/N until the doors finish opening "Oh, the door is open" Hunk looks back at the Lion "Guess I was wrong about you" 

==

The eerie silence bemuses the team as they enter the vestibule.

"Hellooo?" Hunk's voice echoes in the emptiness while everyone stares at him, startled. Hunk shrugs.

"From the size of the lion, I expected these steps to be bigger" Pidge says. A beam of light appears as the vestibule activates. Everyone gasps. 

"Hold for identity scan" The Computer says.

"What?" Y/N says. 

"Why are we here? What do you want with us?" Shiro shouts, looking up.

 "Whoa" Pidge and Lance said. Crystal torches light up a path.

"I guess we're going that way." As the team goes forward, more crystal torches ignite to lead them deeper inside. Hunk's voice echoes as he calls out.

"Hello? ... Hellooo?"

"Where are we?" Lance asks. The team arrives at the sleep chamber of the Castleship.

"Hello?"

"Where are we?" Y/N asks.

"It's some kind of control room" The console Pidge is looking at suddenly activates and two sleep pods rise from the floor. 

"Are these guys... dead?" Hunk asks, hiding behind the control panel. One of the sleep pods opens, revealing a woman as she instantly awakens.

"Father!" She gasps. Lance immediately catches the women in his arms. He blushes at the sight of her and dons a suave persona.

"Hello~" Lance flirts.

"Who are you?" She looks around "Where am I?"

"I'm Lance. And you're right here in my arms" He flirts.

 "Your... ears" Lance looks confused.

"...Yeah?" He questions. The woman gives Lance a disgusted look.

"They're hideous. What's wrong with them?" Y/N muffles her laugh with her hand, as Lance gets slightly angry.

"Nothing's wrong with them! They heard exactly what you said about them" The woman grabs Allura by the ears and puts him in a restraining hold. Y/N bursts out laughing. Tears well up in Lance's eyes. Y/N laughter dies down after seeing the woman's distressed look.

"Who are you? Where is King Alfor? What are you doing in my castle?" She continued to pull his ear. 

"A giant blue lion brought us here. That's all we know" Lance cries out. The woman lets go of Lance's ear, looking at the group.

"How do you have the Blue Lion? What happened to its paladin? What are you all doing here?" Lance stands up, holding his ear "Unless... How long has it been?"

 "We don't know what you're talking about. Why don't you tell us who you are? Maybe we can help." Shiro says, Hunk hiding behind him.

"I am Princess Allura of Planet Altea. I've got to find out where we are and how long we've been asleep" Allura accesses the control by placing her hands on it; a screen appears.

"Okay, that's how that works.". Then second sleep pod opens, revealing a man with orange hair and moustache. He gasps at the sight of Lance. Everyone turns to face him.

"E-Enemy combatants!" The jumps towards Lance but he side-steps him, making the man lose his balance, holding onto the other sleep pod for support "Quiznak! You're lucky I have a case of the old sleep chamber knees." Otherwise, I'd grab your head like this, wrap you up like so - and one, two, three--" The man imitates his fighting moves and snaps his fingers "--"Sleepy time!"

"Well, before you did that, I'd - Hoo! Ha! Hiyah!" Lance imitates rudimentary karate "-Like that"

"Oh, Really? How could you do that when I've already come at you with this?" The orange haired man bends down and pretends to strike repeatedly. Y/N shakes her head "Ha, ha, ha, ha-ey!!" 

"Actual, children" She mutters.

"Man, these guys are good" Hunk says.

 "It can't be..." Allura's says. 

"What is it" Orange man asks. Everyone turns their attention to Allura.

"We've been asleep for 10,000 years"