#like‚ yeah whatever‚ the same shit I've been bitching about all the time‚ but fuck why can't I take a shit in peace without your fucking-

[squid--inc]

......

[mikeypubes]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ aizen sosuke relationship headcanons ੈ✩‧₊˚

♡ [ Request by @brieftravelerbeard ] ♡

[ Note: Thanks so much for the request! You had me jumping up and down with joy when I saw it 😭 I hope it's to your liking 🫶 ]

°˖✧✿✧˖°

SFW

For starters, he is unfortunately perfect.

He's gentle with you, kind (to a degree), understanding, responsible, and he tries his best to make sure you're fully content and comfortable.

Say you're with him in Las Noches, you're gonna have access to the absolute finest food and clothes they have.

He's incredibly patient with you, and any negative behavior from your end will almost never irritate him.

He also shows a lot of affection in various ways, such as getting you all the shit you need and more.

His love language is gift giving. He's always giving you stuff.

He's also good with physical affection, and although he won't initiate a lot of it, he'll accept it most of the time.

He presses gentle yet teasing kisses to your lips, caresses your cheek, pulls you in close to his chest and looks at you intensely.

Although 9 times outta 10, he'd be a yandere (it's just in his personality), I feel like if you guys are super close and he truly trusts you, he might be easier on you than say a hostage he had (like Orihime) or some girl he wants for his benefits.

If you're a hostage he fell for, he'd try whatever ways possible to make sure you're completely his, but he'd be manipulative about it.

I don't think he'd be open about his intentions with someone he's interested romantically in because who the fuck would fall in love with someone who's all "yeah im manipulating you you dumb bitch" (spoiler alert: me ✌️).

He'd make sure whichever family members or friends you have will slowly leave you alone and broken, so that the only person you can return to is him.

He'd also make sure to have this level of "dominance" over you

Like he wants you to understand that you guys aren't on the same level, therefore, you have to abide by his orders and his will or else he'll take measures that aren't in your favor (and no I don't mean he'll "punish 😈🖤" you)

He tells you not to be afraid of him (because that totally does wonders) a lot.

Let's not lie to ourselves, he knows he's hot as shit and you better bet he uses that a LOT.

He's not above using seduction to get to you (and ofc it works 🙄).

He really values intimacy and privacy.

He'll be so incredibly romantic with you in private, like he'll have everything set up and take his time to have deep conversations with you, tell you about his goals, he'll try to understand you better.

He'd drink wine with you and have you wear something he got for you (use your imagination here 😁)

He would low-key call you "dear" or "honey" if you guys have been in a relationship for a while (but he won't call you baby or doll eugh).

He doesn't get jealous, like, at all. He gets cautious yeah, like if Gin was pulling some bullshit like he always is, but not jealous or insecure.

He would make you jealous on purpose I'm sorry.

He'd find it SO amusing to toy with you and make you feel a wide range of emotions.

Like one day, he'd flirt with his ugly minion girls and piss you off, then he'll shower you with attention and love, then he'll say something cruel and make you cry.

He loves seeing your expressions and how vulnerable you are.

It serves him a ton of satisfaction seeing that you're so dependent on him.

NSFW

I feel like it wouldn't take long for you guys to finally do it, since half of the relationship is coated with sexual tension anyway.

Again, very gentle.

Unbearably slow. You can cry and beg but he'll keep going at the exact same pace.

Enjoys pushing you to your limits and overstimulating you.

I don't think it'd be any bigger than 8 inches. I've seen some people go on about 9 or 10, like guys he's not a fucking meter stick (not to mention, nobody's cooch is big enough to take allat in).

Hates quickies because he loves to drag it on.

Ton of foreplay (probably for an hour minimum) and fingering.

His aftercare is amazing, though.

You'll always wake up to find yourself totally clean, in new clothes, and if he's still by your side in the morning (very rare occurrence), you'll be laying your head on his chest.

He loves holding your waist close to him.

(He probably likes your breasts the most)

°˖✧✿✧˖°

[the-shifting-long]

like tying back to fandom misogyny (i know i know i've been on it for a while i'm sorry) not only is so much of the language around the hatred for Tower/the Shifting Mound misogynistic and, when people aren't straight up calling them bitches or saying they'd be more attractive if [x] or treating them like Objects, Prizes, Romantic Interests and saying they're Bad Princesses and the Worst Romance and the worst wife/prize compared to other princesses like the precious wecious Thorn and HEA and Damsel or whatever

they're mad at Tower/Shifty for a lot of the Exact Same Reasons they love Voices.

like the Opportunist abuses his power every time he has is, actively lies to others (though he isn't very good at it.) He is #1 Princess Stabber/Killer/Slayer. when he doesn't want to kill her, it's because he's getting something out of her. but he's a Male Character whose trauma is #valid unlike Tower who also likes to abuse her power to get something from the player and who was (checks notes) locked in a basement and then attacked with a knife by the first person she met.

Cold is another big proponent of "what if we stabbed her/killed her." and constantly shows up when you commit acts of horrible cruelty to the princess but he's a Male Character and him wanting to exorcise the Spectre was sexy and not like, a horrifying moment where she freaked out and wanted nothing more than to get away from him. him being unempathetic and generally uncaring/numb is a Fun Character Trait unlike the literal goddess of death Shifty. cold is great but the woman he's so similar to and who is, in many ways, kinder than he is? yeah she's rude and arrogant we hate her.

Contrarian is often so cruel to the Princess, doesn't really give a shit about her, is there for a laugh, and only regrets what he's done after he's gone way too far (Advy-Fury, Stranger...) and "too far" often means Literally Killing Her For a Laugh or multiplying her until the world itself collapses and she's a frankenstein of half-dead half-alive beings. so it's no surprise he considers himself "the worst part of us" but also he's FUNNY he throws the KNIFE OUT THE WINDOW he's a great character unlike Tower or Fury or Nightmare who toy with us the player! They're so fucking mean and unjustified and go way too far! Their buried pain is nothing while Contra's is valid <3

And then Stubborn! In the majority of chapters he appears in, he wants nothing more than to kill/fight the princess. Wild and Advy are the only exceptions...and Advy isn't an exception at all, just the only circumstance where the Princess actively wants an equal challenger and isn't permanently hurt by the fights the two get into. She's the only princess he cares about, and she's just like him. But yeah no Tower's selfish and the Shifting Mound wanting to fight us forever sucks and is rude but Stubborn? he's a badass he's awesome <3

i'm not going to get into All of the Voices because some of them are less inclined to violence than others, and lash out in different or more understandable ways, but so many of the voices above are fan favorites and they do just...horrible things to the Princess (by supporting a player who chooses to do the horrible things those Voices want to do, of course, and sometimes by acting on their own!)

and to be clear. I DO LIKE THE VOICES. but part of why i like them is BECAUSE they suck! they act in horrible ways that mirror the player's actions, the princess' actions, and when the bar is on the ground they'll help the player dig! it's fascinating!

but i also really like the princess-i like them way more than the voices-and think it's so blatantly hypocritical to hate on said Princesses for doing a lot of the same shit the Voices do for what are honestly much more understandable reasons. the voices are on a path in the woods and get a cool knife. the princess is locked in the basement of a cabin with no way out. these situations are not the same.

[angeisherexoxo]

Manifestation cheatcode:

BE NONCHALANT!!!!!!

When I say be nonchalant I mean say you want it done? And move on with your life, just move on.. its simple! And when ppl say its simple ik you're like "how??? How its simple because I've been working so hard to get what i want my entire life and now you're suddenly telling me it is simple.. how is it simple????" I will tell you how just read the post. (Long post ahead)

As i was saying, decide your desir, affirm for it and move on, what do I mean by moving on? I mean:

1. NOT OVERTHINKING IT

2. NOT STRESSING IT!!!

Because if you're someone who gets whatever tf they want, whenever tf you want.. why do you even think twice about it right?

♡: Examples from My own life lately:

1. As some of you might noticed I disappeared here, because I have midterms and I'm a medical student so I've got to study more yeah? Since i didn't study ever since the term started (I was focusing on manifesting as you see in my latest posts)

But as I started focusing on studying and nothing but studying my manifesting process POURED ON ME!!!!!!! bitch I was complaining about how I don't get money as a college student (we have financial issues) , now as I focused on studying and dropped thinking about manifesting (because my brain is so busy inhaling study sheets) suddenly mom gave me 20$ bucks to buy medical sheets for my studies, then she gave me another 10$ to buy something else if i wanted, later at the same day dad gave me another 20$ JUST BECAUSE (Which never happened) , that was at 24 of December right? Yesterday suddenly a relative of ours got sick, and I have an exam, we had to go pick up my grandma so she visits the relative yeah??? She saw me and decided to give me 20$, and I'M NOT EVEN FOCUSING ON MONEY or manifesting I'm literally busy studying..

Q: So ange what happened there? What does this all mean?

A: I HAD no time to even think against what I want!! That's what fkn happened, before studying I was inhaling affirmations and repeating, now as I've let it go (by inhaling my studies and not having time to think about my manifesting process) it all just worked out, who would know that I will suddenly see my grandma and she'll give me money? I DIDNT SEE HER IN MONTHS!!! that's what they mean when they say everything will move for you to have your desires, for me it was that relative who got sick that caused me to see my grandma (pray for the relative btw thanks<3)

And this here was being nonchalant but I did it by studying, YOU can just say you want this to happen and fkn forget about it, Yk when we complain always about buying this book we DESPERATELY want, or that guitar or that phone or that car or laptop and then when we BOUGHT IT and it's in our room we just- ignore it, literally live as if we never desperately begged for it and that's the fkn key, i never understood what bloggers mean when they say “Embody the person you want to be, dont wish you are, YOU ARE, assume you have it and you will” that's what they fkn mean, weeks ago I was hoping for a 10$ now I've got like 30$ per day!

2. My studies!!!

As a medical student it's fine hard to study medicine, especially when you're lazy like my own dumbass, I only study the days before the exam, for example yesterday I had a midterm for 4 sheets that I studied in 2 days, each sheet have 14 pages that's FILLED with informations, and as a girl who has ADHD and a messy mind it was hard to focus and honestly I'm princess coded I just want shit done without being tired I'm sure you all understand since you're reading this, we want it done in the most simple fast way yeah? Fuck yes we do, so! Whenever I stressed and complained to ANYONE (I'm a complainer) I started reflecting the complaining, if I noticed I was about to complain to my friends or My parents about my studies I just immediately start bragging to them, I be like oh it's so easy to me and I'm even smarter than the professors there and LORD how it's easy to predict their exam questions, and istg as I focused on this technique (if I thought against what I want, I immediately start correcting myself and think as if I'm so smart *I am btw* and it's all so easy to me) that's what fkn happened, yes I got tired and I've got so many back pain while studying but I suddenly started making questions out of the sheet instead of just studying the information as the professor has stated it, for example if he said components of immune system are : innate immune system and acquired immune system, I be like oh that's easy he's gonna ask me : Q: What are the components of immune system?

This made it so much easier to study and the next day in the midterm I saw 6 questions of the ones I fkn made in the sheet!!! It's like I hacked his mind???

3. My last and third example of My life is also about my studies, as I said I'm so princess coded and sensitive af guys, and I hate college as a girl who wants no stress and just success, so the last weeks I skipped college, I was sick and stressed and just had so many issues going on so I didn't go, and that's where they announced my name because I crossed the limit of absence (strict medical bitches) and if you cross this limit they won't let you attend the midterms and therfore you won't pass the final because there is a gap due to the lack of the midterm grades, even if you wanted to pass the final you'd have to get a full mark no matter what so you avoid the damage of not attending the midterm, SINCE my cute ass crossed the limit of absence it means I can't attend the midterm, LOGICALLY it means I failed the midterm already isn't it?

But I just decided that it won't hurt me in anyway, why? Because manifesting isn't about logic, if you tell me you can't fly I'll say I can fly and one day I will!! And guess what? That's what happened

The boss of our major came yesterday (first midterm exame as i said) and called my name, and she gave me a paper saying that I only didn't attend one subject- which is so untrue bitch I skipped them all!!! How tf there's only one subject????? I didn't want to correct her I just signed the paper (signing it is like a promise that I won't do it again) and just like that I survived the whole danger of failing- was it logical?? Did it make sense? NOOOOO but it happened omgmgmfmiquwuwu2!!!!

START BELIEVING THAT IT ISN'T LOGICAL, ITS LIKE SUPERHEROES MOVIES, THEY BELIEVE THEY HAVE THE POWER TO DEFEAT THE VILLAIN AND THIS IS HOW THEY DEFEAT IT, THE VILLAIN HERE IS YOURRRR MINDSET, START DOING WHAT I SAID AND SEE HOW SHIT SHIFTS!!!!

I've got more to say for the examples but I've got to go study (wish me luck btw), I hope I helped I really tried my best to <3!

Ps: another side example is yesterday was hella cold in my country so I wanted a vacation (to study more because as I told yall it was 4 sheets and I stressed myself out so I wanted more time to get my shit together) no one said ANYTHINNNG at all about any vacation, but I just thought "idc they're gonna give us a vacation for the bad weather and that's just it) right next hours the whole country started talking about the vacation due to bad weather, all the fkn cities, but for some reason my stupid town decided that there will be no vacation for us because our town's weather is better than the other towns yk? I'm still mad about it because I was soooo close to manifest it, I guess it was because I kept stressing saying "oh god I want a vacation *crying and complaining*

I don't consider it as a success story because I had no vacation I had to go solve that stupid midterm -_- but bitch I got above 10+ towns to have vacations due to BAD WEATHER, THE WEATHER WAS FINE UNTIL I DECIDED ITS BAD. WTFFFFFF, exactly, no logic, logic doesn't fkn exist I'm about to cry oh my godness!!

Another side success story is that i suddenly started thinking void is so easy (it fkn is) out of nowhere, since i was inhaling attempting to tap into it i sat so many alarms to go try to induce it, now whenever i see the alarms i be like- its so easy why tf im complicating it- just bcs i stopped focusing on it!

cheers to all of us dreamers, I'm sure whoever is reading my post is someone who was one a wattpad person who loves Y/N stories, a Harry potter fan, marvel fan, my hero academy fan, fantasy fan, miraculous ladybug fan, in general ppl who just dont want to be here surrounded with logic boring stuff (in my case a girl who wrote fanfiction novels about one directio) , because I know you and I are here because we are dreamers!! we knew there MUST be a magical key to get out of this logical bullshitful and stupid cruel world, you already have the key you FOUND IT YOU CUTE IDIOT!!! you just need to know how to flick it and get that golden door opened (your pretty subconscious mind), me and you? We are gonna do it, just easy on yourself!!! Xoxo

[lenaellsi]

I've never understood what people mean when they say that Crowley is hiding the truth of Heaven and God's cruelty from Aziraphale to protect him or spare his feelings. That's like...the complete opposite of what Crowley does.

Crowley spends all 6000 years of their time on Earth together making snarky comments about Heaven and God at every opportunity. It's his opening line in Eden, and even before Eden, he meets Aziraphale and two minutes later goes on a rant about how unfair it is to end the world before it’s really started. "What's the point of making an infinite universe if you're only going to let it run for a few thousand years?" He's been forcing Aziraphale to grapple with God's plan literally since the moment they met. Those moments make up like half of the S1E3 intro, and it happens again in every single S2 minisode. "Same God that wants me to whack the kids?" "Tell her that poverty is ineffably wonderful and life is worth living. Go on!" "That's the trouble with you lot. You tend to see things in black and white." Like. Crowley's not trying to hide anything! He thinks Heaven sucks! He thinks God is playing a fucked up game! He tells Aziraphale that all the time!

Crowley sharing or not sharing the minute details of Aziraphale's failed execution is, honestly, a nonissue, and it's kind of frustrating to see it constantly brought up. We don't even know for sure that Crowley never told Aziraphale exactly what was said. Crowley says Aziraphale "doesn't remember it either," when he's talking to Jim--not that he doesn't know, just that he doesn't remember, because he wasn't physically there. But regardless of whether Aziraphale knows the exact words, he absolutely knows that Gabriel "tried very hard to cast [him] into Hellfire and destroy [him]." And he already knows Gabriel is an asshole. That's not news.

And I'm unconvinced that Crowley wouldn't have shared what he learned in Heaven about the Second Coming and Gabriel's trial over breakfast at the Ritz if things hadn't gone completely to shit. Here's my hot take: in the fifteen minutes he and Aziraphale had alone after he got back, he had other things on his mind. Would it have been helpful for Aziraphale to know? Eh, maybe. But honestly, Aziraphale is already aware that Heaven 1) is fully on board with the end of the world, and 2) has no problem punishing angels who try to stop the end of the world. Because, you know. They tried to kill him about it last time. And regardless, I don't think this is an issue of Crowley hiding things--I think he genuinely just forgot, because he was busy getting broken up with. If he'd thought about it, you bet he would have weaponized that to get Aziraphale to stay. And he kind of did! "When Heaven ends life here on Earth, it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it."

And then there's the Fall, and yeah, fair enough. Crowley probably hasn't shared what the Fall looked like for him, and I think that's information Aziraphale could benefit from. Aziraphale clearly doesn't understand it--if he did, I can't imagine that he would have asked Crowley back to Heaven.

But that's still not Crowley trying to hide the truth about Heaven to protect Aziraphale's feelings, or whatever. He just doesn't want to talk about it! Because it fucking sucked! Crowley's communication problems stem entirely from his reluctance to grapple with his own emotions, and his reluctance to be vulnerable. Bitching about Heaven doesn't make him vulnerable; talking about his Fall really, really does.

Crowley has never once shied away from telling Aziraphale exactly what he thinks about Heaven, or the archangels, or God. He's constantly challenging him, forcing him to consider the people hurt by policy decisions like the Flood, the Crucifixion, Job's trials, or the "virtues of poverty." That's a huge part of their dynamic. Sure, he sucks at telling Aziraphale about himself--he doesn't communicate why he wants holy water, or that he's been living in his car, or anything at all about the Fall (as far as we know)--but when it comes to God? He is painfully honest. That's why Aziraphale is so unsettled by him. Crowley is generally very good to Aziraphale and conscious of his happiness, yes, but he's also not afraid to push him. It's baffling to me that people think that all he does is coddle him when we spend about half the show watching them bicker over this exact issue on screen.

[gor3sigil]

Oh my GOD do I need to get something off my chest.

Let's talk about "name your price" events held by some "leftist" spaces a bit, that are NOT "name your price". Because this happened to me 3 times already this month while going to these events, to have organizers be really pushy that I make donation even when I couldn't do so and told them clearly.

So, I go from time to time at events held by local queer organizations to get out of my house. Being poor, you know it, is extremely isolating because you can't afford social events. And I've been feeling really lonely and depressed lately so I tried, 3 times this month, to attend queer events that were "name your price", with the understanding that you COULD attend these events even if you didn't pay anything (I even messaged the organisers first to be sure that I could come without donating). Everytime I tried to bring something to eat and/or drink to not come to these events empty handed and brought along some friends (who donated). So I wasn't "leeching" or anything.

And 3 times, I always got at least one of the organizers pushing me to donate because "even one € euro helps :) we're not FORCING you but you know, these events cost money and it'd be great to give back to the community :) but no pressure if you can't you if you find a coin in your pocket haha jk but yeah :)" and the last one took the fucking cake.

The dude, a so called super leftist anarchist, every time we took a break from watching the queer short films, came to me cracking a joke about how it'd be great if I donated in a very "commercial" way of joking without totally joking.

I snapped at some point and told him more harshly that I had brought food and drink, that it was all I could afford to do and it was supposed to be OKAY. And that one € for me meant a kilo of pasta that feeds me and my partner for 2 days. And he tried to imply that the orga wouldn't be able to hold events like this if everyone comes like I do.

It was a FUCKING SHORT FILMS SCREENING.

I left the event so upset because I just wanted to have a good time and meet people and get out of my flat where money issues is the ONLY SHIT I THINK ABOUT. And I wish it was a one time thing but it happens so regularly I don't even want to attend these events anymore.

If your organization can't afford to hold events you have 2 options:

You can make price ranges for people, so people who have more money can donate more, and those who can't pay a little fee.

You fucking don't hold events.

You don't make your event a "name your price" event, do all your com about the fact that EVERYONE can come even if they just bring snacks or drinks, to harass these people during all the event until they give you the scraps they have because you guilt tripped them. That's just bullshit.

And coming from people that gloat that they're proud leftists/anarchists/communists or whatever the fuck, bitch, shut your crap up PLEASE you have the same method as a marketing professionnal.

I'm so fucking upset. Guess I'll just stay home then.

[gummydummy19]

Not now (male reader version)

Summary: You and Natasha are major enemies with benefits. You can hardly be in the same room together, let alone an elevator...

Content Warnings: smut (blowjob), angst, fluffy ending (you know me), LANGUAGE!

A/N: This fic is one of my favorites out of everything i've ever written, so I decided to make a male reader version :)) hope you like it! feedback is always welcomed

Word Count: 3.4K+

It had been a long, exhausting day. You weren't even supposed to go on any more missions until next week, but Fury decided to wreck your Friday and send you on your hardest mission yet. Your body ached and you just wanted to crawl into your bed as soon as possible. So when you saw Nat approaching the elevator, you silently prayed the doors would close before she got in. You just couldn't deal with her right now. Not now.

Of course, luck wasn't on your side today. Natasha slipped her slender body in between the doors just as they were about to close, joining you in the space that suddenly felt too small.

She smirked widely when you noticeably rolled your eyes.

"In a hurry?" she asked.

"Just tired." You dryly stated.

"Yeah, I can tell. You look like shit" She teased.

To be quite honest, you were fairly sure Nat hated you way more than you actually hated her, but you weren't about to let her know that.

You and Natasha started this whole enemies-with-benefits thing a while ago, and somewhere along the way, you started finding it harder and harder to keep up the hating game.

Sometimes you just wanted someone to talk to, to watch a movie with, to hold you after you'd a long day like this.

Admittedly, hating each other's guts resulted in some mind-blowing sex. Nat might be an arrogant bitch most of the time, but she was still the best fuck you've ever had, and you didn't wanna throw that away just because you were getting a little needy. So you decided to just suck it up and stick with what you did best, annoying her until she let you fuck her stupid.

And it had been working out just fine, but today you were so exhausted and she looked so good in her big comfy sweater and her tight black yoga pants. She had been growing out her hair lately and it was currently tied up in a messy bun.

You could barely look her in the eye, desperately trying to come up with a snarky response, but your brain failed you as the only thing you could think of was how good it would feel her nails rake through your hair right now.

She frowned, clearly confused and quite frankly annoyed at your lack of attitude.

She let out an annoyed huff and in one quick movement, her hand hit the emergency button, making the elevator halt.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You snapped

"ME? What the hell is wrong with YOU? Did I fuck you stupid last time? What's going on?" She yelled.

Natasha had noticed the change in your behavior lately, and she didn't like it. Not one bit.

Her words made a blush creep up your neck and you silently cursed your body for betraying you.

You knew Nat thrived off your attitude. You were the only one who ever questioned her authority, it kept her on her toes.

She took a step closer to you and you immediately took a step back, not knowing if you could do this much longer.

Desperately trying to match her stern energy, you snapped back at her.

"Why the fuck do you even care?? Talk about being fucking cock drunk, Romanoff."

"That's what you'd like, huh, big boy? To get me cock drunk on that big dick of yours?" Natasha inched closer to you as you tried your best to ignore how hard you were getting from her voice alone.

"In your dreams, you fucking bitch" You turned around and hit the button again, making the elevator restart.

You felt her boobs push against your back and all you could do was stare at your shoes and pray to whatever was good and holy that this stupid elevator would just hurry the fuck up already.

Soft hands with perfectly manicured nails crept up the sides of your arms, while her plush lips left teasing kisses on your clothed back. The body heat radiating off her made it hard to think straight.

Gathering all your willpower, you softly shoved your elbow against her side, shaky arm pushing against her torso, trying to get her to move.

"Get off me, Natasha." Your tone almost had her believing you actually didn't want this.

Almost.

"Not until you tell me who shoved a stick up your ass." her voice was soft and teasing, tingling against the shell of your ear as she stood on her tippy toes.

She stopped the elevator for a second time.

"Natasha, I'm serious, cut it out!" You groaned, before pushing the button again.

"So am I?" she continued and her hand moved towards the button yet again.

"Would you stop?! You're acting like a child!" you yelled, trying to get the upper hand as the small metal cage rumbled.

The poor emergency stop must have been hit damn near a dozen times as you and Nat continued your pointless bickering.

Suddenly, the entire elevator shook and came to an abrupt stop, making her cling to your side for balance.

The lights flickered out and the buzzing noise that usually lingered around was gone.

You pushed Natasha off you and desperately tried hitting a couple buttons.

Nothing.

"Look what you fucking did!" you screamed at her.

"Me?" she yelled.

If looks could kill, Natasha Romanoff would be dead on the floor of that elevator right now.

A thick, deafening silence settled in between the two of you, and you let out a breath you didn't know you had been holding. Dropping your gaze to the floor, you let your shoulders hang, rubbing your hands over your face in exhaustion.

You turned around, staring at the buttons.

Fed up and extremely done with this stupid situation, tears started welling in your eyes. Fuck.

The emergency lights had gone on. You checked your phone. Of course there was no reception and it was late already, everyone else had gone to bed on their own floor and there was no way they'd hear you all the way from here.

"Perfect. Just perfect." You muttered.

Fresh out of fucks to give, you finally let the numb feeling you had been trying to push away all day take over your body. You slid down the wall, sitting with your knees drawn up and your fingers tangled in your hair as Nat just stood there and watched.

"Should have taken the fucking stairs," she mumbled.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath.

You were utterly exhausted, every muscle in your body ached. All you wanted was a hot shower and some sleep, and now you were trapped in this stupid elevator and you had to look at Natasha's stupid cranky face all night. Any other day you would have given her her crap right back, but not today. Not now.

Simply lacking the energy to be your usual witty and confident self, you let out an annoyed sigh.

"I'm so fucking tired." You finally muttered. If it wasn't for the deafening silence surrounding you, she probably wouldn't even have heard it.

Making eye contact with her was impossible at this point. And even if you had it in you to look her in the eye right now, the thick tears that started welling blurred your sight.

"Oh great, now he's fucking crying." Nat groaned, more to herself than to you.

You rolled your teary eyes at her typical arrogance. But when she took an awkward step closer, you pointed your finger at her.

"Don't even think about coming near me right now, Romanoff." You warned.

She smirked at the remark, finally catching a glimpse of the snarky man she was secretly so crazy about.

To your surprise, she moved closer and sat down beside you.

You glared down at her.

"You don't have to prete-"

"Oh, shut up." she cut you off as she cuddled closer to your side, dropping her head on your arm.

The smell of her hair brought you a weird sense of peace, which you welcomed nonetheless. There was something about her, about being this close to her. You couldn't put your finger on it, but it melted away your anxiety like snow in the sun.

A comfortable silence settled in between the two of you as you sniffled quietly, wiping away a couple of stray tears that had escaped your eyes.

She sat back up to look at you. You felt her eyes burning against your face but you couldn't bring yourself to return her stare. In all honestly, this was probably the most embarrassing moment of your life.

Clearing your throat, you pulled away from her.

"Alright, thanks," you said, before scooting a few inches to the other side.

As much as you hated to acknowledge it, being away from her even a few inches filled you with a slight cold, empty feeling. And you had to go against every fiber in your body not to scoot closer and ask her to snuggle up against you again.

"You don't always need to be such a tough guy," she spoke, making you scoff

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you."

To your surprise, she didn't say anything after that. She just cuddled closer to you again, clinging to your arm and she nuzzled her face comfortably against your shoulder.

A weird sense of comfort took over your body. That urge you had to be held and taken care of bubbled up again and you let Natasha fill that void. You knew it wasn't real. She didn't want to be here. But she was. And you were going to enjoy her warmth for as long as you could.

The intoxicating smell of his perfume and her body wash mixed with her natural sweet scent invaded your nostrils and made a heat run through you, warming you from the inside out.

You must have dosed off after that, because the next thing you know you felt your body being shoved aside, abruptly waking you from your slumber.

"Finally you guys got here! Her was starting to drool on my shirt." Natasha's arrogant voice spoke to Sam and Bucky, who had apparently found you in the elevator.

You knew it was too good to last. At least now you could go to your room and get some rest. Alone.

You slowly sat up, blinking the sleep from your eyes as you gaped at the three men in front of you. The smell of Nat was still heavy on you. Before any of them could say anything you scrambled out of the elevator. Running through the hallway to your room, wanting nothing more than for this day to just be over with already.

"Hey, wait!" Nat's voice sounded through the hallway as you looked for your keys, rolling your eyes.

"Oh for fucks sake, does she ever take a break?" you mumbled to yourself.

"Looking for these?" she asked, dangling your keys in front of you with a smug look on her face.

You groaned, reaching for the keys only to have them pulled away at the last second. It was quiet between the two of you for a beat, before you lunged for the keys again, failing miserably.

Okay. now you were pissed.

Natasha looked at you with a shit-eating grin.

"Come on, pretty boy." she teased, "come and get them"

Okay. Now you were pissed.

There was no way in hell you were faster than her. You knew it. She knew it. She just wanted to see you try. See you emberrass yourself even further.

And you actually debated it. For a split second, you debated it.

Nope.

Not today, Romanoff.

You were done. Done with this day. Done with these games. Done with her.

You scraped together every ounce of dignity you had left and turned around, walking away from her.

You got halfway through the hall before you heard her chuckle.

"And where are you going now, huh?" she questioned, obviously very amused.

"To sleep in Wanda's room." you simply said, not even bothering to turn around. You didn't need to see her face to know the grin had fallen.

"The hell you are." you heard her say, suddenly way closer to you as you heard her footsteps approach.

Before you could even comprehend what was happening Natasha yanked your arm back and walked you back down the hallway.

“What the-…HEY STOP” you tried to wriggle your arm out of her grasp but your already exhausted body just wouldn’t work with you. And perhaps your needy brain didn’t mind being held by Natasha...

Before you knew it you were being pushed into a room as she slammed the door behind her. You quickly realized you had entered a bedroom, but it wasn’t yours…oh no this was Natasha's room. You could recognize it from the scent alone…

She walked over to the bed and sat down at the foot of it, looking you straight in the eyes.

You stared at her from across the room, arms crossed, trying your best to appear stern despite the fact that the entire room smelled of her and it was making you want to crawl up in a ball on the floor, like a cat waiting to be cuddled.

"come here," she said, voice calm yet commanding.

"Bite me "

"I said come here."

"And I said bite me."

"If you come here then maybe I will."

You rolled your eyes but did as she said.

"Now what?" You asked in the most pissed-off voice you could muster.

Natasha saw right passed your macho behavior, knowing exactly what you needed from her. She grabbed your wrist and pulled you down onto her bed next to her before getting on your lap and wrapping her arms around your neck

"Now you let me make you feel good, sweetheart." her warm breath caressed the shell of your ear, making the hair at the back of your neck stand up as goosebumps started to spread all the way down to your spine.

She slowly pulled off her sweater and you groaned when you realized she wasn't wearing anything underneath, immediately sitting up to suck on her nipples.

A groan tumbled over your lips when her nails raked through your hair, gently scratching your scalp. Your hands touched every inch of flesh they could find, trailing up and down over her back, making her whimper.

Thoroughly enjoying each other's embrace, her impatient fingers moved down your torso and tugged at your shirt. Your lips curled into a smile against her to let her know he got the message. Within the blink of an eye, your shirt was gone and her lips were back on yours, devouring you as if you were her very last meal.

Your hands played with her tits as she started pressing kisses against your neck and down to your chest, pushing you back down on the bed.

"Stay down for me, handsome," she whispered in that low, sultry voice of hers.

She peppered your entire chest with soft, warm kisses, not leaving an inch of your body untouched. You laid back comfortably in her fluffy pillows and you felt your entire body relax. You enjoyed the view of her crawling down your body and unbuckling your belt. Natasha's plump lips moved down to your stomach and started kissing along the trail of hair growing down to your pubic bone as she pulled down your pants and boxers, revealing your growing cock. Her nails trailed over your skin sporadically, leaving goosebumps wherever they touched. Just as you noticed you had begun to smile to yourself, you got pulled from the cloud you were happily floating on by a sharp pain on your hip.

"AH!! Did you just bite me?!"

"'I'm a lady of my word."

Before you could scramble away from her, she licked a ferm stripe up your cock, all the way from your balls to your tip. You let out a low groan that quickly turned into a steam of moans as Natasha started bobbing her head up and down. She wasted no time, hollowing out her cheeks and swirling his soft tongue over your leaking cockhead, absolutely devouring you with all she had.

One of her hands reached down to play with your balls. Gently squeezing the soft flesh blindly while her eyes stayed focused on yours. She moved her hand to yours, guiding it to her head and throwing a wink at you. Your fingers quickly tangled in her hair as you pushed her down a little to take your cock deeper.

"Oh fucckkk...." you moaned, feeling your balls draw up as you got closer and closet to your peak.

Natasha kept sucking you off like her life depended on it as she moved her free hand down between her legs to play with her sopping pussy, messily rubbing her clit she started moaning on your cock. God she loved the taste of you, she simply couldn't get enough, it was making drip.

Both of your moans got louder and your hips started bucking up in her throat. Every square inch of your body was on fire.

Nat took her mouth off you for a second and stroked your spit-covered dick as fast as she could.

"Please, cum for me...m'so close..." she whined, making you realize she's been touching herself while sucking your cock.

"shit....please...gonna cum..." you moaned desperately

"Yeah? Cum down my throat while I cum on my fingers....shit..." she whined before taking you back in her mouth, immediately letting your cock slide deep down her throat as she choked on it.

"Fuck Nat I'm gonna cum!" you yelled, "You're gonna make me cum! You're gonna...I'm gonna...Oh fuck..fuck, please! Don't fucking stop...ah!"

And she didn't, she kept sucking your cock as she touched herself, and when her body started trembling from her own orgasm you finally couldn't take it anymore.

You came down her throat while she came all over her own fingers. You trembled and whined as she gently suckled on your cock, swallowing every last drop of your cum.

You tried to blink away your tears until they finally rolled down your cheeks, you tried to calm down your breathing as you layed there, trembling on her bed.

"What do you need, baby?" Natasha finally spoke, sitting up between your legs and softly stroking your thighs.

It took a while for your breathing to calm down, you didn't even know why you were crying to be honest. You just felt like you were experiencing a lot of emotions at once, and it was pretty intense.

"A fucking hug." you finally spoke.

Nat giggled at your reply before scooting over to sit next to you, leaning against the headboard.

"Come here."

Slowly, you crawled into her open arms, curling up against her into a ball with your head right against her bare tits.

Surprisingly, Natasha was very soft and sweet, not at all what she was usually like with you.

She rubbed your back and just laid there with you, enjoying each other's warmth and the comfortable silence that had settled in the room.

You couldn't help but let out more tears, softly sniffling into her chest as you clung to her.

"shhh" he whispered comfortingly, pressing a few kisses to the top of your head. "It's okay, l'm here. And you did so so good."

For the next few minutes, Natasha just held you, until you were ready to talk to him about what exactly it was that got you so overwhelmed.

After some time, you sat up and just looked at Nat. At her eyes, her nose, her mouth.

You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against her lips.

"Thanks," you said.

"For letting you cum down my throat?" she joked, trying to get rid of some of the tension.

"For the care," you replied, meaning what you said.

She just smiled at you.

You didn't even know what to say. Never in your life have you expected Natasha to be so caring, especially not for you.

"Wanna shower together?" she suggested, leaving you even more stunned.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Natasha Romanoff?"

At first, she giggled at your reaction, but then her face grew a little more serious.

"I wanna be here for you for more than just fucking. The whole cat and mouse game was fun while it lasted, but seeing you the way I saw you today, so exhausted you could barely stand up straight. I never wanna see you like that again, baby. Unless of course, it's my doing." she added smugly before pressing another kiss to your lips.

"There she is again." you chuckled against her lips.

After some more kisses and giggles, you decided to accept Nat's offer and you took a long hot shower together, followed by some much-deserved cuddles and a movie you never saw the end of because you drifted off, with Natasha happily snuggled against your chest.

[uneatenclient]

murderbot tv show ep 7 reactions/spoilers under cut. tragic lack of sanctuary moon but a couple lines i was hoping for got said so i've made peace w it

oh my god they're drinking

BHARADWAJ! BHARADWAJ! BHARADWAJ!!

fucking gurathin in the middle

snapping off beat

oh no

GURATHIN! GURATHIN! GURATHIN!!

LMFAO

he's trying so hard

holy shit gurathin

i'm so fucking proud of you what the fuck

jesus fucking christ

holy shit no wonder he's in love with her

i still don't like it but jesus

man. man. what a way to start an ep

it's like that one quote in the van gogh doctor who ep

why tf does no one listen to him when they know his experience w this shit (oh right everyone's naive)

CUZ HE WANTS TO TRY TO HELP KEEP YOU ALIVE

i think she did lmfao gsdfjkghnazfajkl

WHAT?? I COVERED IT

risk assessment skyrocketing. ruh roh

gurathin's the most okay cuz he's definitely experienced shit like this before. he's still not doing great but holy shit does that opening give some perspective

'its listening' 'has it always been able to do that' guys how many times do you have to realize this b4 you just accept that it can always hear you

time for a softer approach. '...unless you feel like DYING' mb i'm begging

ratthi shaking his fucking head help meeee

am i gonna get the 'cuz that's how i think of you' this ep or the next?? feels like i might. i believe in you mensah give me the line

GURATHIN YOUR FACE

annoying. sure. thats what its getting

oh dear fucking jesus ratthi

at least he didn't say seccy again

MB IM B E G G I N G

LMFAOOOOO

THE SLOW RETREAT

any regret. oh arada.

peak distraction mb bharadwaj is IMMEDIATELY on that

ungrateful

pin-lee you ass

YEAH GO MENSAH

arada pleassssseeee

ratthi. i appreciate you trying but you're not doing great on the seriousness

JESUS

wait. arada? oh right she wants to be friends with everyone that tracks

GURATHIN. you might be right but can you be less scawy about it

yeah go pin-lee DO IT BABE

OHHH THESE LINES

how dare you make those lines even more emotional i'm gonna

LMAO

yeah. big same mb

HES FUCKING JEALOUS OF THE SEX AND ROMANCE REPULSED CONSTRUCT

man. gurathin is going thru it in so many different ways rn

HE??? ohhh dear gurathin. so much jealousy you start assigning it the same gender as you bc its your rival

mb that's not a stupid question i'm gonna get you and your complete disregard for your own wellbeing

ratthiiiiiiiii

pin-lee stop being meaaaannnnnn

YESSSS THAT LINE I LOVE IT

circle.

nope.

asdufbadsfhnjlgvadsn

i think they might wanna talk about it mb. just a hunch

YES

YES I CALLED IT

THE SOFT MUSIC

OH SHE GOT IT

SHE GOT IT GOOD

ratthi holy shit

you sure are a maelstrom of emotion

JUST DO IT JFC

we can talk about it

NO YOU CAN'T CUZ YOU'LL ALL BE DEAD

'oh. look at that' the biologists have noticed something interesting during a near death experience again

EXCUSE ME

POSSIBLE HOSTILE???

man mb that module

BIOLOGISTS FTW

RATTHIIIIIIII I LOVE YOUUUU

once more the similarities between gura and mb. just bros worrying about structural integrity

ratthi and pin-lee say yes to electrocution

IT'S SO INTENSE

dear. lord.

ewwwwwww

i'm glad aradas happy

holy fuck okay hello there

PLZ REMAIN CALM (SHOTS FIRED)

what are you doooooooingggg

the spear or whatever was cool tho i love that skill that they've given ratthi

oh my fucking god

the KICKING jdfjkahdkaidk

'they were trying to help. which didn't help'

bharadwaj and the ROCK ujasdfhndsjfgkn

'but as much as it pissed me off... i kind of appreciated it' OH YEAH YOU LIKE EM. YOU LIKE EM DON'T YOU

man. good thing they listened to arada for the moment huh. thats what you get for fucking up their eggs you top line sec unit bitch

the fact that it just tore the head off and left it. not even worth eating.

arada's fucking amazed delight at it taking its eggs away

FSJGBDLKNF YEAH

fortunately fate intervened (gurathin collapses)

i mean obviously it's going either now or following after

but i do get its point. and their point. and mb did get beat up real bad protecting ya'll dumbasses so if it comes maybe stay out of the fight next time

also. i'm making an executive decision and calling that "helping" from presaux mb getting shot on accident bc bharadwaj beaned it and i don't think it's gonna happen w an actual gun (i'm delighted to be proven wrong but for now....)

almost considered using the station bar scene as a preservation scene but i'm still hopeful for that one. just one little snippet....... let me see space communism in action plz.........

[anthewitch]

i disagree with patti and she could've worded it differently bc now she just seems hurt and bitter. but at the same time idc bc they all are grown ass women who are capable of talking to each other. and it's patti who's gonna face all the consequences, not me or any other fans lol

i just wish she never said those things yk?

idk why people are so surprised she's a bitch bc she clearly is one and always been one. she'll call a bitch anyone who she hates bc she's a hater but it just turned to be a black woman. and that's exactly the reason why people are so aggressive about it. i personally don't think she was trying to be racist btw and you can disagree with it

im not really into broadway and theatres, i don't really know anything about Kecia and Audra. but nah, Patti was wrong for calling one a bitch and another one not a veteran just bc she herself has more shows done lol

"are you a nice person?"

"sometimes"

like she never hidden it either. but anyways, is patti cooked? she absolutely is lmao

i've seen mentions she was drunk. why would you drink before the interview knowing you have anger issues? well, Patti is old enough to take responsibility for her own behaviour. if she chose this - whatever.

i also feel she got so bored that decided that it's time to say some shit out loud lmao

anyways, i'm not defending her, i'm also not on her side. i don't hate her but also i'm not that disappointed bc sighs been there too many times and learned not to get too affected by celebrities words.

she fucked up, yeah. but she also means so much to me even tho i've been in this fandom for less than 2 months.

keeping hating on her? what's the point? it is what it is now, she can't take her words back and it's on her from the beginning. we also really don't know what people celebrities really are behind the public masks. maybe she's going through something idk 🤷‍♀️

🩷🩷🩷

i love her characters btw, i don't wanna stop drawing them bc i've got Fosca in progress lmao

aaand peace out bye im tired

[effy-writes]

Addict (Blitz x Reader)

8: Harvest Moon Festival: Stimulants

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your body rested on top of Blitz, you were able to hear his heart beat since your head was on his chest. With his free hand he played with your hair. Rubbing the scalp, twirling the strands of your hair.

"Was I too rough?" He said, bringing the cigarette to his mouth.

"I liked it, Blitzy~" Stolas chimed. 

"Not you, her."

"It was fine." You said with a sleepy tone due to Blitz giving you an half assed scalp massage.

The two of them talked about the arrangement and why Stolas had to move it early. You didn't mind doing it early, you're actually starting to enjoy these encounters.

Blitz was about to get up but you held on him tighter, not wanting him to leave.

Stolas continued, "The Harvest Moon is a very special occasion! It's been my annual duty to showcase it in the Ring of Wrath. It's celebrated by a very charming little festival with the locals."

"Wrath, huh? My employees are from there. I've never really been. I hear it's full of inbred chucklefucks."

"Oh! Why don't you all join me at the festival? I can guarantee you all..." Stolas got up and trailed his fingers along your naked back. "special access~"

"Look, I told you, we're not bodyguards. Okay? That was a one-time thing we did badly."

"I'm simply offering a work-free day of fun! I feel quite safe at the Harvest Festival. It's the same every year."

"Then why do you want us to go?" You mumbled, falling in and out of sleep.

"Because! I enjoy hanging out with you two."

"Well if you promise this isn't some fuck fest invite, it does sound like it could be a blast and a half. Plus, it's not like we can do jack shit without your book anyway." Blitz scoffed.

~~~

"Hey, hope I didn't wake ya, Mox! How would you and Mils like to visit the Wrath Ring for some harvest bullshit this year?" Blitz called Moxxie.

"We're already here, couldn't we just tell them in person?" You whispered, Blitz quickly hushed you.

"The Harvest Moon Festival?! Yee-fuckin'-haw!" Millie squealed.

"Well, Millie likes the idea. Wait... Where are you calling from?"

The two of you lost balance and fell on top of the couple.

"Y/n? I was expecting Blitz, but really? You joined in on the stalking?" Moxxie huffed.

"He begged me, sorry."

~~~

"Mama! Daddy!" Millie ran to hug her parents. The 3 talked for a bit before Millie grabbed Moxxie, "y'all remember my husband Moxxie?"

"Greetings, Lin! Joe! How have you been, uh, with all the... flaming twisters and stuff around here?" He nervously said.

Blitz turned his attention to you, "You know I barely saw your parents."

You stiffened, "Yeah, what a shame, nice people."

"I don't do compliments but you look pretty good in a cowgirl outfit.”

You snickered, "Thanks."

You looked back over at M&M and her parents, "Oh, crumbs. My bad! I am so sorry. I- I didn't mean to open that wound... sir." Moxxie said to Joe.

"Hey, watch it! I'm the "sir" here, bucko!" Blitz yelled.

"Oh yeah! Y'all haven't met my boss Blitz! This is Y/n!" Millie got closer to her dad, "I think they're dating. And his hellhound!"

"I'm not just his hellhound." Loona argued.

"Yeah, she's my daughter!" Blitz replied.

"Only on paper." She walked away.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet the sperm and egg factory that popped out this little gem of an assassin. You two raised a sturdy bitch!" Blitz greeted her parents.

"That we did! So... Blitz, is it? Heh heh. That's a fine name." Joe shook his hand.

You awkwardly stood there, turning your head and saw Loona sitting in the van. You opened up the drivers side and sat with her.

"How have you been?" You asked.

Loona shrugged, "It's been whatever. What are you and Blitz anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Dating? Friends with benefits? What is it?"

"I actually don't know. And sorta don't care."

There was some silence.

"I know we barely talk other than superficial shit, but why were you in rehab?"

You were lost for words, "Stimulants addiction."

"Just wondering." Loona continued to type on her phone.

You looked out the window and laughed, grabbing Loona’s attention, “Moxxie is wrestling a hog and is losing.”

The two of you got out and Loona hit record on her phone, “This is fucking beautiful.”

"Ow...my clavicle" Moxxie rubbed his neck and left the pin.

"Don't worry, little one... You never stood a chance." Striker said as he noticed you rewatching the video that Loona took. "I didn't meet you yet, what's your name, pretty thang." Striker smirked.

"Y/n."

"Names Striker." He winked and walked away with the dead hog over his shoulder. "Hey, boss man! You wanna help the men skin this thing for dinner?"

Blitz clapped, "Oh, I am always down to skin the manly meat with the manly men!"

~~~

Millie’s parents didn’t have any room for you and Blitz, so you had to sleep together. You offered to sleep on the couch or with Loona so he can have a bed to himself for once but Blitz didn’t want to leave you out of sight.

“You really think that I’m gonna get drugs? From where!”

“I don’t fucking know! You brought this on your own.” He crossed his arms.

“Blitz please get off of my ass for ONCE!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Loona yelled from across the hall.

You aggressively ran your fingers through your hair. “and you’re making it worse by keep reminding me i’m a fucking drug addict.”

Blitz sat on the bed and rested his elbows on his knees as he rubbed his temples. “Let’s just go to sleep. We gotta do this shit tomorrow.”

You paced back and forth as you bit your nails. Blitz looked up at you and noticed you were stressed or about to have a panic attack. He called out your name in a soft tone, “Come here.”

You shook your head as your breaths increased. The only thoughts running in your mind is that you don’t want Blitz to only see you as a drug addict and if that’s all he’s gonna see in the future. Blitz stood up and placed his hands on your shoulders to prevent you from pacing back and forth, “Lay down, okay? You’re freaking yourself out.”

Blitz took your hand into his and led you to the bed. He helped you lay underneath the covers as he made his way in as well. The moon shined through the country-looking-ass room and he could see your glossy eyes. Blitz gently caressed your face, “You need sleep. Do you want to be little spoon? I know how you like to be held.” He chuckled.

You deadpanned, “You just want my ass against your dick.”

“Maybe.”

“Ugh..fine.” You playfully rolled your eyes and smiled as you turned the other way. And you were right, you felt Blitz’s clothed dick against your ass.

~~~~

The next day everyone gathered for the Harvest Moon Festival.

Moxxie, Blitz, Striker, and you decided to join in on the game. Originally you weren't going to do it, but Striker gave you some "pick me ups" which is just adderal. Thank youuu, Striker.

Stolas walked onto the stage, "Greetings, tiny... Wrath Ring Imps! I hereby welcome you all to another year of celebrating the spoils of your labor that continue to feed the citizens of Hell! I'm happy to kick off the start of these games that will challenge the toughest Imps to show their skill in dominance. Good luck to you all! Especially those sexy little imps down there... Yoo-hoo! Blitzy! Y/n!"

"Ugh. Fuck me." Blitz cringed, but you on the other hand bursted out laughing.

The gun noise pierced the air and everyone sprinted. Moxxie kept getting trampled, Striker and Blitz was in the lead. You were so cracked out that you jumped over so many imps, stepped on their backs and jumped right in front of Blitz.

"Oh that fucker is definitely on drugs." He grunted.

"What? Your plaything? Jealous because she’s beatin' you?" Striker teased.

"Not jealous, disappointed."

Striker, Blitz, Moxxie and you teamed up for tug of war. The adderal was slowly leaving your body, including the strength and stamina, but luckily you made it past tug of war.

However, when wrestling came you lost to a very angry Blitz. "How the FUCK did you get stimulants?" He pinned your arms down. You kept kicking and thrashing, trying to get Blitz off.

"Can't believe you think I'm doing drugs again when I'm actually trying my hardest you dick." You spat.

Blitz got off and you aggressively walked away, "Fuck, Y/n, Im…FUCK!"

Without turning around you flipped him off. You're not mad at him, he's right, you did take drugs, but you can't help to be mad at everyone and everything. It's your fault, isn't it? Letting Striker talk to you, letting him talk about "natural" medicine, buying some from him. You could've stopped but you didn't.

Wally started speaking, "I say, I say, for the first year ever, we have a tie for winner of the Harvest Moon Pain Games!"

Stolas took his microphone, "The winners are... Striker, aaaaand my darling Blitzy!"

"Just say my name RIGHT! Fuckin' dick." Blitz and Striker made their way up onto the stage.

You sat down beside of Millie, resting your head in your hands.

"You okay, hun?" Millie rubbed your back.

"Yeah...just tired."

"I bet." She chuckled, "You were goin' hard!"

Millie expected you to laugh but sense that something is wrong because you two are always goofing off. She soften her look, "You can tell me anythin', you know that, right?"

You lifted up your head and gave Millie a reassuring smile, "I'm fine, Mills. Thank you."

Blitz arrived with a hotdog in his mouth, "Isn't this guy great? It's gonna be nice workin' with him."

"Working with him...? WHAT?!" Moxxie stammered.

"Yeaaaah! I asked him if he wants to join I.M.P."

"Mox, I think you've had enough, for now. Let's head back to the house and get you clean." Millie kissed his cheek.

Blitz looked over at you. You felt him staring at you but didn't acknowledge him.

~~~

"Where's M&M?" You asked Blitz, shutting the front door of Millie's parent's house.

"I don't know, go check upstairs."

As you made your way upstairs you got a hunch that something was wrong. You turned to your left and picked up a hiking stick that was hung up on the wall. Holding it like a baseball bat, Godamn, me and these stupid wooden rods.

You peaked in the rooms and saw Striker with a gun, pointing it out the window. Your eyes widened and placed your back against the wall, exhaling and peaked back in.

You walked in the room and as you was about to hit Striker he turned around and pointed his gun.

"Y/n? Why are you here." He smirked. "Coming to get more adderal?"

You gulped, feeling your body shake.

"Guess not." His finger was on the trigger. You jumped and swung the hiking stick but Striker caught it, swinging it to hit your face.

"Fuck!" You yelled, falling down on your side. Before you could react Striker put his foot on your chest. You flung your legs trying to fight back but he was much stronger than you.

"Bet you need drugs to make you stronger, right?" He mocked.

"How did you know that." You struggled to say.

"I overheard you and ‘Blitzy’ arguing like teen skanks last night. Why did you think I gave you adderal in the first place?"

“You gave them to me on purpose because you know that I was addict? You bitch!”

Striker cocked the gun and pointed it at you. You still thrashed around trying to get out of his grip before he shot you but the fatigued was hindering you. A click was heard from a different gun.

The two of you turned heads.

"Uh excuse me, but what the FUCK?"

"Blitz!" You felt relief.

"Blitz, nice to see you here."

"First you were going to off the only gateway we have to get to the living world AND off her? And I was going to let you join our business." He scoffed in disbelief.

Striker didn't move, his foot was still pinning you to the ground. "Why struggle to run a business that is rigged against you? When you could partner up with me and kill... the unkillable?"  Striker pressed harder onto you, resulting in you groaning due to the pressure.

Blitz clenched his teeth.

"You scared that I'm going to hurt her? You care about her don't you?"

You looked over at Blitz teary eyed.

"Did you know that she got stimulants from me?"

Blitz lowered his gun, "What?"

"Blitz I-"

Striker put his foot over your neck, cutting off some air.

"Oh, you daddy fucker!"

Blitz sprinted and tackled Striker, you gasped for air and grabbed the hiking stick, swinging it and hit Strikers head. He yelped in pain and stumbled back.

Blitz whistled for Loona and waited, but she didn't come. "Fuckin dammit Loona." He groaned.

Striker pushed you out the way and pinned Blitz down on the ground, "I'm getting kinda horny right now." Blitz joked.

"Huh?"

You swung and hit Striker repeatedly on the head and his back. Every swing you hit him harder and harder. Getting your anger out, mainly angry at yourself for getting adderal. Angry because you feel like you can't do anything unless you have stimulants. Angry that your parents forced you to take them to perform better, angry that you ended up getting hooked, angry that you left the circus, angry that you left Blitz.

Striker was lying on the ground, groaning in pain. Blitz was astounded, he stared at your watered eyes and flushed face. You threw the hiking stick and sat down in the corner of the room with your head in your hands.

"Kay, Im here." Loona walked in and noticed the scenery. "Nevermind." She left.

Striker got up from the floor and shoved Blitz aside before getting on top of the window seal. "Maybe you'll get me next time... Blitzy." He escaped through.

Blitz panted, turned his attention towards you and kneeled down.

"You sure do know how to wack." He joked, but felt heart heavy. "I'm not angry."

"It's not only that," Your voice cracked, "Its other things."

"Hey, hey it's okay. Come on." He helped you up. "I know you're sorry, I'm not even mad about it, 'kay? So don't worry."

You looked around the room and realized this was the room you and Blitz slept last night. “Striker overheard our conversation last night. He purposely gave me adderal and-”

“Stop..okay? Just stop. I’ll let this one go because you didn’t actively searched for it, you were tempted to it so..don’t worry.” Blitz reassured but you could tell that he was still pissed off with a hint of disappointment.

[galvanizedfriend]

Yokan, hi!

so, me again 🥲 I'm sorry, I know I've been flooding your asks lately 😭 but anyway!

I started reading some comments under their assigned section of Ao3, and oh my God. Talking about The Wolf, why are SO many people always hating on Caroline? 😭

I've seen tons of comments about how she's always scolding Klaus and never on his side — which is INSANE to me.

Listen, I get wanting more and more romantic and heartfelt scenes between these two, but expecting Caroline to just shrug her shoulders at everything Klaus does is too much.

This is a focal point of their relationship. She's not afraid of speaking up to the big bad hybrid if he messes up, even though he could crush her within a second. She's always been loud and loyal about her ethics, which is one of the things (if not the main one) that captured Klaus' attention at the start (both in canon and TW). Why did people expect to see this vital part of her to just vanish once they got officially together? Why is it okay for Klaus to be irrational, but not for Caroline to be rational and actually putting him in his place?

Also, she said it herself: she's always on his team, but if he starts screaming and barkinv at innocent people just because, it's normal for her to jump in and pushing some common sense into his head.

Needless to say, if the position were inverted, Caroline would've been targeted as "Insufferable, Spoiled, Ungrateful bitch" (which is pretty much how people refer to Aurora), whilist Klaus would've been seen as "poor golden boy".

All of this just to ask: what's your take on this? Did any of these comments affected the course of the story? Did you ever had to change/delete some scene just to give the crowd what they wanted, even if you didn't agree or weren't happy with it?

Love you, take care!!

Hi, friend! How's it going? Putting this under the cut because as per usual I wrote a whole fucking TED talk lol

Oh yeah, the good ol' Caroline hate 😂 So interesting you noticed that pattern lol It's so real. And not just with TW either,I've received that type of comment on so many other fics. It's sadly not exclusive to one fic, and not even to this one fandom. It's something I've noticed in other fandoms as well. Different characters, same BS.

I honestly don't know what to say. I'm all for people having whatever opinions and interpretations they want, fandom'ing is free and there is room for everyone to do their own shit, but it's wild to me how people will come to my space and then get mad at *me* for not writing the story they have in their heads. I see a lot of misogyny in those takes tbh. Klaus can never do wrong, he always knows better, everyone should do as he says, he gets to be as much of a dick as he wants and it's always because he's a hybrid/he's so cool/he's got so much character, etc. But the second Caroline dares to step out of line, she's a bitch who doesn't know what she's doing. They like Caroline, but only to a point. If she starts antagonizing Klaus, she's either OOC (the woman who threw his gift back at him, told him to take a hint, called him terrible, left him writhing in pain for hours while she negotiated the terms of her assistance and threw his daddy issues at his face, antagonizing him? She would never!) or "doesn't care about him enough" (or my favorite: she's Hayley! 😂). I've seen the same thing in other fandoms. The guys usually get a lot more general support overall, their behavior are all excused, while the women need to be a picture of correction and perfection at all times or else they get instantly called out and no sympathy whatsoever. Caroline is not even the only one who gets that kind of treatment in the TVDverse. The hatred some other female characters get is wild, especially compared to the men.

Needless to say, none of these comments/opinions have ever influenced the way I write the story (though they did cause me to write some A/Ns throughout because there were times when I was just so tiiiiiireeeeed of replying to the same thing over and over, I didn't even approve some of the most offensive comments). I like Caroline - for herself, outside of her relationship with Klaus. Me being into KC is a consequence of the fact I like Caroline *and* Klaus individually and I love what they do/represent to each other, which is why I like them together. I like that Caroline isn't portrayed as being the perfect little unicorn, ideal girl, who can do no wrong. She has flaws, she has doubts, insecurities, she has a temper, she acts impulsively sometimes, she strives to be fair and kind, but she is not always *nice*. It gives Caroline an edge, layers and depth and makes her more relatable and interesting even in a show where side characters are subjected to poor superficial writing most of the time like TVD. The very things that make the other characters roll their eyes at her, and for her to be seen as someone who needs "improvement" are the things that make her great, and I especially love that those are the same things Klaus likes about her. It's why I fell in love with the ship initially. Here is this girl who's always trimming herself, smoothing the rougher edges of her personality in order to be loved, to be the one to someone, anyone, and yet keeps falling just short. She's never the priority, always left behind, forever a work in progress. In walks the big baddie, wreaking havoc and taking no prisoners, and he just sees her, rough edges and all, and says that's my wife. And the best part is they complement each other in just the right way. Klaus empowers her, gives her confidence to trust herself more, trust her instincts, explore the parts of herself and desires she would've otherwise tried to quench because it doesn't fit with the others, while she offers him balance and perspective, something *more* than the rage-fueled, paranoid ways he'd been operating on for so long. So why would I write a story where they finally get together only for that dynamic to be completely changed and Caroline to become the exact opposite of that? And besides, with TW in particular, more so than my other fics, it's about the journey. They go through so many different stages in their relationship. The way people expected Caroline to blindly trust Klaus right from the start was so unreal, or for her to not be even a little bit thrown when she got to witness him spiraling into the worst of his paranoia for the first time and the very real consequences of that. Some readers mistake trust and affection for resignation and blindingly following someone else's lead even when they are clearly digging themselves into a hole. I like to think those two idiots have come a long way from the beginning of TW and that's probably what I think is this giant-ass fic's strongest point. It's an evolution, a development, you can see the two of them progressing throughout, both individually and together, and to me personally, as the person (still) writing it, it's the part that brings me most satisfaction. Obviously I can't expect everyone to feel the same way, but I'm not going to change it, especially not now, after more than 1M fucking words lol Again, that's obviously just my opinion, it's how I view the ship, and people are welcome to their own thoughts, which I will respect, but I don't have to agree with. It's very annoying when people come at me like I'm getting paid to replicate exactly what's inside their heads, or like I'm committing some kind of crime for frustrating their expectations. By all means, write your own shit, my dudes, feed your gremlins and be merry.

[weebsinstash]

My Valentino thirst is killing me. I must quench!!!

Combining these two asks so I can babble about both of em at the same time lmao, this is kind of just different ideas all smashed around lol

ALSO CAN I JUST SAY THE ABSOLUTE NERVE OF SHOWING VAL IN THE NEWEST TRAILER BUT NOT HAVING HIM SPEAK 😩 but we can hear Vox so I guess that's something?

- first off, ok, let's just get this out right now: the newest episodes of helluva boss showed that Ozzie can shift his height, THEREFORE THIS MAN IS A SWITCH AND HE'D BE DELIGHTED IF YOU EVER TOPPED HIM SEND POST

Like seriously that's obviously how he can manage to have sex with Fizz despite their extreme height difference, meanwhile, do you guys ever think about the huge height discrepancy between Angel and Valentino in like...., ok. There's literally one specific thing that's been in my head for ages as a "how did that even work or was that just for visual effect". The Addict music video had that shot of Valentino like, you know, behind Angel, but. Like. Angel wouldn't be tall enough to just be bent over even if Val practically bent himself in half, right? Unless I'm remembering Val a lot larger than he actually is, I'm pretty sure angel is over 6ft and Val is like. 10-12 or something?

-Anyways So, saying all that, I think sex with Valentino in general involves him having you set you up onto things like counters or desks or stools or makeup vanities, you get the point. Your standing height is basically like. His waist. And yeah he'd probably be gross about that

-could you EVEN Fucking Imagine I mean it like seriously actually the grossness of it, standing near this nasty motherfucker and you can tell he's bricked up and maybe he's even like deliberately talking to you and shit knowing you're like, you know, in proximity to your boss' absolute rager that you're dying to not look at and he's just, SOAKING in your humiliation and secondhand embarrassment

-I just feel like 99% of interactions with yandere Valentino are him thinking it's cute/funny/sexy/entertaining to fuck with you. Make you embarrassed, make you drunk, make you cry, horny, whatever. He's either fucking with you, wanting TO fuck you, or wanting attention from you. But I've also been thinking about like, what are some more darker things he could do

-partially inspired by myself but do you guys hate people who turn off read receipts and stuff. Imagine the whole "Val gifts you a phone" scenario and then he starts setting the standards of what he actually wants you to do with it, like always having your read receipts on, always answer his texts within a REALLY short amount of time, don't ignore his calls (do you think he'd give you a phone that literally can't ignore his calls like Mammon did to Fizz because like I'm sure that was a throw away gag but, lowkey hot)

Imagine you're just getting to know Val, maybe even a sort of, situationship with him, and he sends you a text, just something super innocuous. I'm talking something like "don't forget you have a shift tonight" or "limos broken down, leaving for the club later than usual", like, something that doesn't outright require some sort of immediate reply, and you hop in the shower and you come back to like a text bomb and 12 missed calls, like obsessive drug addict alcoholic rage escalation from "you there?" "answer bitch" "pick up the goddamn phone" "you better be kidnapped, beaten, or dead right now"

Imagine hopping out of the shower and you had your phone open in the other room and you exit the bathroom in a towel and he's sitting there on your bed and your entire room's been trashed like shits BROKEN and he's, got a cigarette lit and his arms are crossed and he's got your phone in one of his hands , he can clearly see you were in the shower, and instead of apologizing for like going absolutely manic, he just, either, gets gross about how you're wearing a towel and how you got him so worked up and you need to make it up to him, or, he just basically whines that you should've just waited until he was done talking to you to shower

-Val's a yandere who will give you something, break it in a rage to punish you or when he's feeling hurt or betrayed by you, and then replace it with something nicer and more expensive. But then he'll also break things he didn't give you to try and replace everything you own with things he's provided and you'll hate those things, they aren't sentimental to you and maybe not even to your tastes. Oh what's that, you made a new friend? You guys want to Lu Lu Land and he got you a shitty little ring from a carnival game and it's sentimental and important to you? That's cool, don't mind Valentino ruining it or throwing it away the second you take it off and "consoling you" in your grief of "losing it" by getting you a ring from HIM

-genuinely I could see him being one of those guys where if he somehow did manage to pull off enough bullshit to convince you to date him and he's not a total freak, he'd pull some shit like that and then you realize what a huge mistake you've made. he's trying to backpedal and make it up to you but, you've seen his true colors now, and maybe he actually broke something that was really special to you and you really liked him for

-I just don't know how anyone would, realistically, be able to resist Asmodeus in a scenario where he offers you safe harbor from Valentino. A new place to stay rent free? He'd help get you food and clothes and whatever you need? Val would have you so terrorized that, unless you basically had, uh, an unhealthy attachment to him, or insecurity issues, you wouldn't even consider staying with Val over your new "friend". Ozzie is Mr Steal Yo Girl

- i was kinda thinking "how would a yandere Ozzie hypothetically get sex out of you in a scenario where he wants consent" and I feel like he'd just kinda, lovebomb you and maybe manipulate you a little bit and maybe have some blurred ethics on how drunk or high he thinks you're allowed to be while it's still in his definition of consensual. Yeah you said yes to sex with him but you'd taken molly and had some drinks!

Godddd would it be considered gaslighting if, afterwards when you're feeling like embarrassed and regretful, because maybe he's a good friend and you feel it's ruined now, he fakes how remorseful he feels with intentions to, in turn, emotionally manipulate you into thinking he's not as creepy as he actually is. Like, oh gosh, he just seems SO upset over this, can't you let him make it up to you 🥺

- also like. Uh. Having the ol "i liked you as a friend but I was vulnerable and I'm really embarrassed i slept with you even if I liked you so I can't talk to you right now or maybe ever again" reaction with Ozzie would uh. Not work??? It'd be bad??? Like imagine if nothing else you kind of ghost him because you're really embarrassed and insecure and he's like freaking out you were fucking kidnapped or something or WORSE, meanwhile he finds out, like. You're just really embarrassed he saw you naked and couldn't face him and he'd think that's SO CUTE YOU HAVE NO IDEA 🥺❤️

-Ozzie is obviously sex positive and I think you getting flustered and horny and embarrassed would be like his cookies and cream. Even if you have no experience he doesn't mind and he loves to teach you all kinda of things or even just talk about, naughty stuff with you. Imagine he's just like reading a book across the room and suddenly he looks over to you, "hey have you ever had anyone tie you up before? Just curious uwu"

- on the flip side I feel like Valentino needles in at all your insecurities amd with a chubby Readet he'd definitely flip flop between treating you nicely and then mocking you in front of other people. Like, a "good" yandere Val would get incredibly defensive of you as much as he would himself, but one on the meaner end of the spectrum would actively neg you and knock down your self esteem so that it feel really, REALLY good when he finally praises you and flirts with you

-I just picture you offhandedly telling Asmodeus some of the stuff that's happened between you and Val and Ozzies just sitting there, "baby can I be real with you? This guy wants to fuck you so bad he makes himself look stupid" and it's Ozzie's "feedback" that makes you kind of lose your temper with Val one day and, yeah you just deadass repeat some shit like "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" and Val is just AGHAST like where did this ATTITUDE come from. And I picture you kinda get into it, like he kinda sputters a bit but is clearly pissed at you and he gives some like, threat that in full context makes you realize he really DOES have some kind of thing to you. Like it's weird that a THREAT could convey that, he just says some shit like "you better stop running your mouth before I take a paddle to that fat ass of yours" but it's also like, if you're taking potshots at his self esteem and getting personal digs, it's really kind of being let off that he just makes threats and doesn't, like, do something right then and there

You just take a shot of the rest of his drink, "yeah you would like to spank me wouldn't you 😘 you're always commenting on my ass all the time, you don't have to be embarrassed if you like to look" and maybe you like sneak some backhanded compliment in there, before being like, covering your tracks, or sarcastically being like, "ok Daddy love you too 🥰" and giving him a peck on the cheek like really being cheeky with it before you fuck off to another part of the club and then later on when you've sobered up and the Oh Shit What The Fuck Did I Do stage kicks in, you eventually have to give him a refill or something and he's like, oddly silent while you're like a shrinking violet, all bravado just GONE, and at the end of your shift he like, actually beckons you closer and you think you're being punished and he just. Smirks and crosses his legs, "don't get too cocky with me, k sweetie?" and just silently threatening you, but, also, shoving a larger than usual tip directly under the waistband of your pants.

I've also thought about that as well? Like Val shoving tips in your clothes, like in your bra or even in your panties/boxers/whatever as like, a double-sided threat/reward/threatening flirting. You mouth off and tease him about him being thirsty for you and later on he's practically got an entire hand in your bra to leave some 5s there and deliberately grazing your nipples the entire time (swear to God if he pinched I thought I'd go aggressive crazy on his ass)

-but Val saying some shit like you're too gross to be a hooker or a porn star and that's why you just wait tables and later on down the line you've ditched him and you're modeling or shooting like female oriented porn down on the Lust Ring. Lmaoooo Valentino trying to neg you and 6 months later he's being cucked and hating himself as he's cranking it to like softcore porn of a maintenance guy being super nice and respectful to you after making some repairs around your house before eating your pussy and then. Straight up leaving. Vals just over here "why am I even-- this isn't even hot" as he beats his shmeat because he wants to see someone "Break My Choker" you and you just, you didn't even suck the guy off he just rocked up with some tongue action and left like You're Living Your Best Life, Angel Dust is over here like "goddamn I wish I could get paid to just have someone go down on me and leave 😭"

-Ozzie's over here having like safe sex meetings before the porn shoots and making sure everyone is in the right headspace and feeling OK and meanwhile up in Pride you've got shit where like, one of Vals pornstars didn't show and when you briefly enter the set to bring him a lemonade he makes a split second decision to have you restrained and have a train ran on you because he'd rather psychologically scar you then come out of this failed filming session empty handed with wasted money

-I just have this visual of, you're not anything "with" Valentino or Ozzie and, maybe they've encouraged you to be more sexually free, but then you actually start being more adventurous and they're like "oh you know what? Thanks i Extremely Hate this Actually". You're sitting on the couch at the club next to one of them and your phone buzzes and you're answering it, getting kind of flirty sorh whomever is on the other line as your cohort gets more and more jealous, and then you're randomly dropping, "so hey not to be horny but what are you doing tonight? I could use me a deep dick pizza with an extra helping of cuddles afterward" and Val/Ozzie is just, SPITTING HIS DRINK

-like you go from sitting in Vals limo or sitting next to him and he's constantly shamelessly watching like nudes or porn or snaps on his phone right next to you and you're forced to endure that, and one day YOUR earbuds aren't connected properly and Val gets blasted with 5 seconds of something like a male or female or whomever, someone who isnt you, "ugh god I love the taste of you 😩❤️" and he's, the attention is ON, eyes on you IMMEDIATELY, just, "what the fuck was that???"

Imagine you're straight up looking up D/P pics on your phone and suddenly you sense a presence and he's like. You've got Valentino's massive form leaning practically from one end of the couch to the other to look at your phone from over your shoulder/above you. The notoriously narcissistic attention seeking loudmouth drunk just, having been silently whisper quiet watching you for who knows how long, you're not sure if he can even read or see what's going on bit he definitely sees the picture

Goddd can you even think of it, he finds out you're fucking around with someone because he snatches your phone out of your hand as like, a tease, because he saw you looking at dick pics and he's all "oooo, giiiiiirl what have you got HERE", but then he starts going through your entire gallery and all your messages and the smile is wiped off his face. Imagine the like. 30 second pipeline of "teasing you, snatching your phone as a joke, going through your phone, immediately chucking your phone directly at the floor"

Ozzie thinks you're fucking GHOSTING HIM and he's getting PANIC ATTACKS over here because, you know, you make his heart do the flippy thing, meanwhile it's like, nah, Valentino has just shifted into Ultra Possessive "Someone Touched My Shit" Mode and you literally aren't allowed to have a phone or so much as be alone anymore amd the next time Asmodeus is seeing you, it's on Sinstagram, being made to hang off Valentino as he had the picture captioned something about, "some of his bitches he just doesn't like to share"

[wendytestabrat]

another obvious reason why kyle rips on cartman for being fat all the time

ok so like the past couple days i've been trying to read more and learn more about judaism (bc i'm a nerd). even tho i'm an ashkenazi jew i've never known that much about judaism the religion outside of being jewish by race/ethnicity FHDJSJSK. and yes for the ignorant people out there who don't know there's a HUGE difference between between practicing judaism and just being jewish bc yeah i hate it when people assume bc of my jewish background that i'm super religious like bitch i was raised by ATHEISTS. even my gma the holocaust survivor didn't believe in god which goes to show the holocaust was abt targeting jews as a race not a religion but i don't need to get into all of that rn. ok let's move on to shitting on kyle, the part ya'll RLLY care about. so i think a BIG reason why kyle shits on cartman for being fat sm is bc HE HAS TO EAT KOSHER DUH (which was confirmed in the episode "ginger kids" when kyle said his mom packed him a kosher lunch) which i can't believe i never realized before lol. some other things i've theorized on in the past is how kyle is just taking out his anger abt his fat obnoxious mom onto cartman for being fat and obnoxious. bc yeah obviously kyle can't backsass his mom but he can backsass cartman all he wants bc he's an easier target LOL. i've also theorized that kyle has an eating disorder so he's just projecting all of his negative views about his body and food onto cartman. but the problem may not be abt kyle not wanting to eat.....it could be the complete opposite in that he WISHES he can eat whatever he wants. and after looking into what exactly kosher is....yeah it's understandable why kyle is so miserable LOL. i'm not trying to shit on you if you're jewish and you eat kosher like i'm all about trying different diets i think that's rlly cool, but it's understandable that it would be hard for a kid to do that bc kids loveeee eating junk food and whatever they want all the time. and it's ESPECIALLY hard for a jewish kid if he/she is the only one eating like that while all of his/her peers get to eat whatever. but yeah if u rlly look into the nitty gritty of it, kosher eating jews are NOT ALLOWED TO EAT PORK. so this means kyle has prob never been allowed to eat shit like bacon or hot dogs in his entire life TSHDHSKS. they're also not allowed to have any other meats UNLESS it was prepared and butchered a certain way. so i can imagine kyle wouldn't be allowed to eat a lot of the foods with meat they serve at school. AND ALSO they're not allowed to eat milk and meat together at the same time and this goes for anything with milk in it such as butter or cheese which means kyle isn't even allowed to eat cheeseburgers LOL. so in kosher u would either have to eat a meal that is mostly just milk/dairy products or one that's mostly meat. so yeah when you put all of that into context it makes A LOT of sense why kyle gets so grumpy over cartman being fat and why he's soooooo critical over his eating choices. he's prob just jealous that cartman gets to enjoy food and eat whatever the fuck he wants all the time and he doesn't.

[shieldofiron]

Saf...

I know it's been done, probably a million times, but...

harringrove roommates AU, idiots in love, and everyone ELSE can see it but they're both absolutely oblivious until an outside throws the word boyfriend at them forcing them to reevaluate.

and go, would it be so bad? everything would remain the same, only there would be kissing now and other stuff.

and then maybe they would decide to pretend they still have no idea to see how long it would take Max and their friends to notice...

that was my 2.20am thoughts.

going to bed now

ily

LOL also yet again, your one thought is like a whooooole enchilada longfic, my friend. And I have so many of those cooking. But I was inspired to write a little snippet of this. Consider it a slice of their weird little life.

---

"I think I'm going to go on a porn fast."

There's no reason for Robin to give him that look. They talk about everything. He helped her check herself when she had an ingrown hair that she thought was an STD, for God's sake.

"What?" Steve frowned.

"A porn fast." She looked absolutely disgusted. He was talking about less porn, what was her problem.

"Yeah. Like 30 days, no porn," Steve shook his head, "I just feel like I'm doing it too much, you know. I'm gonna get carpal tunnel."

"Are you going to move out?" She smirked.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"What it means, Dingus-"

She paused when Billy waltzed in and pulled out one earbud, tiny shorts hiked up so high they were basically underwear, glistening from his workout.

"Have you seen my water cup?" Billy's chest was heaving, a drip of sweat sliding down the center of his chest towards his happy trail.

"You mean your basic white girl cup?" Steve rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever, Pretty Boy. It's huge and it stays cold as fuck," Billy leaned in to where Steve sat at their tiny breakfast nook, and smirked, "I've seen you steal a sip."

"As if," Steve scoffed, "Robin he's obsessed with one of those huge Stanley cups."

"That is a basic bitch move," Robin shrugged, "He's got you Billy."

"Yeah he does," Billy licked along his lower lip, "You've seen it. C'mon, baby, tell me."

Steve sighed, "I washed it, because you never do. It's over there."

Billy snuck in close for a kiss on the cheek, and heat washed over Steve's body, probably from Billy standing so damn close after lifting. He was like a furnace, and Steve had fallen asleep with him enough on the couch to know.

"Thanks, Pretty Boy."

Steve watched Billy pop in his air bud, and assemble and fill his cup for a moment, shaking his booty to whatever his dumb workout mix was, only to be brought out of it when Robin pinched him.

"Don't know how you're gonna do a porn fast with your fucking boyfriend doing a playgirl shoot all around your apartment."

Steve's mouth fell open, "He's my roommate."

"Yeah. And you stare at him and jack off all the time because you feel sooo normal about that."

Steve kicked her weakly under the table, not even able to speak. He wasn't that way about Billy. Couldn't be. That was his roommate.

Later that night after Robin had gone home, he was curled up on the couch next to Billy's furnace of a body.

"Have you even had a sip of water all day?" Billy asked, eyeing Steve's diet coke.

"Yes, I have," He hadn't, "chill, you water obsessed freak."

Billy shoved the clear straw of his enormous silver cup in Steve's face, "Drink."

There shouldn't be something stirring in his stomach when Billy said shit like that. There shouldn't be...

"Good Boy," Billy said in a low laughing voice.

Billy wasn't his boyfriend. Nor was he porn.

But God help him, Steve was realizing he wanted him to be a little of both.

[princelance]

a movie........

time for a rant that has been a looong time coming because

the FUCK??? NOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE NO NO NO PLEASE GOD IF YOU'RE OUT THERE NEVER LET THIS MOVIE SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY NEVER EVEN MENTION THAT SHOW EVER AGAIN IN MY PRESENCE it should fucking DIE and stay DEAD

the WORST fandom i've ever come across/been part of. everyone was so fucking braindead. god the bullying here was So Bad. vld fandom was the epitome of 'you can't enjoy what you like'. and the bullies were like, some of the most popular blogs here. the content creators (among others ofc) here were NASTY. the people making decent art were so fucking rude to almost anyone that didn't bow down to them and agree with their views on the show, sitting on their high horse like they were fucking gods or something when they were like, 17 or something. mind u voltron was a show about ugly transformers lions and a bunch of kids in space meant for 7 YEAR OLDS. like stfu it's not deep, it's not important. i get that this is the internet i really do but apparently everyone was a pedo and homophobic and racist and needed to be cancelled because they weren't pure angels. i hope the people who liked the show, both teens and adults alike, have grown up and learnt what those words actually mean and why you shouldn't just casually throw them around. i hated you all. u had to be so careful about what you said on here, it was like north korea or something. i remember how kids got bullied into deleting their harmless fanfics, the fucking voice actors got bullied on a daily basis, it was BAD. i remember i got hate for having shiro as my icon and the background was the bi flag colours. I AM BI. also, so what if i had headcanoned shiro as bi, you couldn't have stopped me or anyone else from thinking that, and also IT WOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED, HE'S FICTIONAL, HE'S JUST LINES AND PIXELS. i know this is going to shatter some of your worlds (or at least would have back then), but a random ass nobody on tumblr headcanoning a character as bi when said character is "actually" straight/gay/whatever is NOT going to affect irl queer people in any way, it does NOT have real life consequences. who gives a fuck. since when has the fandom given a shit about canon anyway? fuck you.

okay, i've been bitching about the fandom enough (no i haven't, there's no way you can ever bitch about the vld fandom enough). what about the actual show? well. once again it's meant for 7 year olds. who cares if it was good or not. i've seen seasons 1–6. i liked season 1, didn't really like anything after that since the show seemed to change so much. the first season kind of has a different vibe completely? idk how to explain it, it just kind of feels like the actual show and then the rest was just a long fanfic by someone who was in love with keith's character. but since i was watching the show with my sister who was 10 at the time, it was fine, otherwise i wouldn't have kept watching after seeing season 2 i don't think.

here are a few negative things about the show imo:

making keith the main character out of nowhere after s1 (where he definitely wasn't the main focus) was so dumb. god the showrunners loved keith sooo much, it was so stupid. keith was nooot a leader. whatever.

making keith the black paladin was also so fucking stupid my god. and yes, everyone here wanting LANCE to become the black paladin just because he was the fandom favourite (don't get me wrong, he was my fave too) was so fucking braindead too honestly. shiro or allura. no one else made any sense.

canon allurance SUUUCKED. like holy shit that was so bad and horribly written, even lotor and allura had a better love story and had waaay more chemistry (and their relationship ended badly, rightfully so). and NO klance was never ever ever going to be canon, you were so delusional. like lmaooo did we even watch the same show? i just really enjoyed their dynamic and that's why i shipped them together, whatever. but yeah, like i said the bullying here was disgusting and everyone was cancelled, great, klance seemed to be the only thing you were allowed to like so in that sense i was lucky.

everything they did with allura in the later seasons............ you know what? i'm not even going to start. because wtfffffffff, as a storyteller myself i ?????? what in the world were they thinking. but yeah whatever it does not matter.

the point of this post is that EW EW EWWWW FUCK THAT SHOW AND FUCK YOU, if you were in the voltron fandom in 2017/2018 i personally hate you

[mintyisms]

The Game Grumps Play Danganronpa V3

Chapter Five Starters

"We've heard your thoughts and we're glad you opened up a dialogue and we will consider all things going forward."

"I had my arm severed!"

"I've got a media server and I'm just downloading whatever comes out. I mean...ripping the Blu-ray of it that I bought."

"Let's get existential, baby!"

"He went off to be a crazy lunatic."

"What's on the menu? Oh, Olive Garden."

"I'll bring him endless soup and salad."

"I was gonna make out with you, but now I'm not gonna."

"Damn, it's almost like stairs lead up."

"I'm a dirty little piggy."

"Can that fucking robot bear talk?"

"I remember that I hate robots."

"It's a first edition Charizard. Definitely PSA 10."

"We need to do that thing where we hold him up and then like duct tape him to the wall and then he's just stuck to the wall."

"She has the laws of God and anime on her side."

"I didn't know you were into Legos."

"Sorry, I'm an edgelord."

"We're surrounded by a bunch of problems, but a bitch ain't one."

"Anybody got any jelly? No reason."

"Here, try this kool-aid."

"Did you miss free mallet day at the Wells Fargo? They're giving mallets away! All you have to do is sign up for a credit card!"

"I waited too long and I forgot the joke."

"I see you ignored my previous warning about not screwing around, so quit screwing around!"

"Get bigger doors."

"I wanna rage."

"Little did we know he would turn out to be so friendly and dead."

"Aw, man, it does suck out here."

"Hell, yeah, let's play some baseball."

"Wouldn't it be really inconvenient if someone killed you?"

"Everyone's been to space. Even Earth's in space."

"Pardon, me, m'lady, may I pet and or skritch the doggo?"

"Oh! The manhole cover!"

"I'm so fucking dumb."

"Are they doing a mad, three hour goon sesh?"

"Is he...thinking about me?"

"My body? Well, it's bangin'."

"The whole world is fine. We're in Des Moines, Iowa. Everyone is alive."

"Notice I didn't say put on pants."

"There's a fucking obstacle course with bombs and shit."

"We all learned that killing is badong, which is bad and wrong at the same time."

"It's going to be fun and weird repopulating the earth with someone that does not care for me."

"I should scream, but not loudly."

"Go take a shit, bitch."

"I'm not convinced he's dead."

"It really takes the power out of your words when you burp like that."

"I just let Jesus take the wheel."

"Why is everyone being so suspicious?"

"This is highly unorthodox bathroom behavior."

"You have to feed it after midnight. Or don't feed it after midnight? Fuck it, I don't remember."

"I'm highly emotional, and that blocks critical thinking."

"Pull up your pants, dude. Adults have their pants all the way up."

"These goddamn smart TVs are so stupid."

"I want to apologize for the display of anger you are about to see."

"I threw the remote as hard as I could against the wall and then screamed at it on the floor like it was a dying child."

"We pay ten times more for everything in this world and nothing works."

"I wish I could go to the moon right now."

"No. Everything you say is wrong, so no."

"Let's show him that these snoots can't be booped!"

"I'm gonna to shoot someone with a crossbow."

"This is not looking good for our Samsung brand deal."

"Find a different song to sing."

"Dude, it looks like I have three toes."

"Watching him? Like what, voyeuristically?"

"My hand looks like a butt. I never noticed before."

"Addressing someone is the first step to not ignoring them."

"Let's not get happy."

"It's funishment time!"

"Are you gonna play this until you die?"

"You'll all survive this as along as that dumbass detective with the pervert hat doesn't unravel all of this."

"You gotta force stop when Windows stops responding."

"I don't care. This is all a farce anyway."

"This is the Oreo with the most stuff."

"Wow, someone actually thought a logical thought here."

"Should I show my dick to the people watching? Will that make me have higher ratings?"

"Literally nothing changed but two people dying."

"If you made out with me right now you'd be covered in some kind of pomegranate juice."

"You guys are training without me? What the fuck?"