#living independently

[bitchesgetriches]

Hi Aunty Bitches! I've been following you for ages and I've felt too hopelessly stuck in an abusive household but I'm trying really really hard to get out.

I'm in college (between semesters rn), and I am trying to get a job. But it's hard for a multitude of issues and I'm not sure if I can just cold call places?

Additionally, I'm trying to get a summer job but I most likely won't be allowed to work during the school year. And I'm terrified because I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to be independent because I have actually no savings ($66.66 to be exact, which is... weird).

I feel like I can never get to the point where I'll be okay to leave and I don't know how to help myself. Any pointers would be really appreciated!!

Sweet pea, we are SO proud of you for sticking with it and fighting to get free. We believe in you so hard, and we're so fucking proud of you.

Here are our resources for baby bitchlings in your situation:

Leaving Home before 18: A Practical Guide for Cast-Offs, Runaways, and Everybody in Between 

Ask the Bitches: "I Just Turned 18 and My Parents Are Kicking Me Out. How Do I Brace Myself?"

When Money is the Weapon: Understanding Intimate Partner Financial Abuse 

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need To Know About Living Independently for the First Time 

And always remember that we are merely opinionated and often inebriated internet busybodies, not professionals. If you feel unsafe in your abusive home, PLEASE contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help.

If you found this helpful, consider joining our Patreon

[mental-health-advice]

I've started to confront my mother about abusive behaviors and it has unfortunately made things a lot worse for me because it's started to make me realize that she's actually just not a good or kind person. And so I don't know how I could ever even make her understand or change her behavior and treatment of me because you just make somebody care about others. Or, at least, i definitely don't know how to and I need to take care of myself and heal first. Unfortunately, I don't know how i can while still living under her roof and relying on her because I'm too mentally and physically unhealthy to work or even leave the house most days. If you sever ties, I lose her help. If I engage, I get hurt. I'm feeling kind of stuck. I guess I'm looking for help or tips to just get out of the situation as an adult. I can't move in with any family or friends. I am about to start therapy and may be able to get disability benefits but even if i qualify, im not sure it's possible to live independently like that. And whether can take care of myself while living independently is definitely a big question but going and trying is better than living here. Thank you in advance for and help or tips or condolences at all, I think what you guys do here is great. <3

Hey there,

This is a really difficult situation to be in because as you mentioned your damned if you do and damned if you don’t to put it simply.

I think it’s a really positive step that you are starting therapy and I will cross my fingers that you do qualify and get disability benefits (which I am sure you will) and the fact that you have a plan and have been thinking about at least moving out of your home and living independently is a great step as well. In terms of if you will be able to live independently or not, you may have places where you can live in supported accommodation or have if you do live independently then have someone come over daily to help you with daily tasks. So, this is something to definitely look into when you get a chance!

In regards to your Mum, I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you to be living at home with her. It sounds as though you are wanting to try to work things out with your Mum and her abusive ways but that there have been some repercussions in doing so. I think in this instance, like you mentioned it is best to first look after yourself, try to heal and make sure you are in a good place before trying to work things out and confront her. The last thing we want is for you to try to work through all the abuse issues that have arisen in the past with your Mum when you are not going great yourself only to have you regress further backwards if that makes sense?

I am not exactly sure how you might confront your Mum when you are ready to do so but maybe a good starting point may be to write her a letter if you feel comfortable doing so. This may take the pressure off of you a bit and will leave the ball in your Mums hands with how she then responds to you and what you have to say. Writing a letter will also enable you to get out what you need to say but in a nice-ish way that won’t be attacking your Mum as such even though it may feel like you really want to right now.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and that you are able to start therapy sooner rather than later or that at the very least you can apply for disability benefits before starting. If you see your local doctor or GP then they may be able to get the ball rolling!

I’m thinking of you, hope you are doing OK and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

Take care,

Lauren

[fallalertaustralia]

Fall Alert Systems: More Than Just Fall Detection

Maintaining a safe and independent life is a priority for everyone. As we age or face mobility challenges, concerns about falls can become a worry. Fall Alert Systems, a leading provider of fall prevention solutions, offers a variety of products designed to empower individuals to live with confidence and peace of mind.

Fall Prevention at the Forefront:

Fall Alert Systems' core offering is their namesake system. Utilizing pressure-sensitive mats, chair pads, and bed pads, this system detects falls and sends immediate alerts to caregivers or emergency personnel. Here's a breakdown of some key features:

Cordless Options: Fall Alert Systems provides both corded and cordless solutions, offering flexibility for various environments.

Multiple Device Compatibility: The system can work with various triggering devices like pressure pads, floor mats, and even pull cords, ensuring adaptability.

ActiveCare Consoles and Pagers: Caregivers can choose from wall-mounted consoles or wireless pagers to receive fall alerts, guaranteeing a prompt response.

SafeTime Pad Life Indicator: This exclusive feature eliminates the risk of using expired pressure pads, ensuring reliable fall detection.

Broadening the Safety Net:

Fall Alert Systems goes beyond fall prevention with additional products that enhance overall safety and well-being:

DoorAlert: This system monitors doors to prevent unsupervised wandering, particularly helpful for individuals with dementia or memory impairments.

SeizureAlert: Designed to detect potential seizures through changes in body movement, this system provides crucial early warning for those at risk.

Wireless Call Buttons: Waterproof and easy to use, these buttons allow individuals to call for assistance with a simple press, promoting a sense of security and independence.

Focusing on User Experience:

Fall Alert Systems understands the importance of user experience. Their products are designed to be:

Easy to Install: Most systems require minimal installation and can be set up quickly by caregivers or family members.

Discreet and Comfortable: Pressure pads and other components are designed to blend seamlessly into the environment, ensuring comfort and minimizing disruption to daily routines.

User-Friendly for Caregivers: Clear instructions and intuitive interfaces make it easy for caregivers to monitor alerts and manage the systems effectively.

Investing in Peace of Mind:

Fall Alert Systems provides a comprehensive approach to safety and independence. Their products empower individuals to live with confidence, while offering caregivers valuable support and peace of mind.

Visit a Fall Alert Systems retailer near you or explore their website for a full range of products and resources on fall prevention strategies.

#FallPrevention #SafetySolutions #SeniorCare #FallAlertSystems #IndependentLiving

[solemnevita]

In one month I'll finally go to college and live independently. This is something I've been dreaming, and been wanting since I was 12. It still feels unreal. Maybe the universe can give me a second chance and allow me to finally live for myself.

[pwrn51]

Showing Support During A Difficult Time

  Today’s guest is Dani and is Betsy’s son’s friend, a member of the Mental Health and LBGTQ+ Community, and a disabled daughter of a disabled parent. Betsy was very grateful to Dani for showing Josh support during a very difficult time in his life! Dani discusses grieving her twin brother, how people don’t know what to say to a grieving person, and the challenges of Mental Health Care Issues.…

[sakuravalelp]

A dream land - DP X DC Prompt

Okay, so I was thinking about that episode "Perchance to dream" where Bruce is trapped in a dream world and this, even thought really different, came to my mind.

Danny is king or prince of the infinite realms. He's been working on personalizing/decorating his castle in the infinite realms. When he feels someone walking just outside the castles walls. The thing is, that someone isn't a denizen, they aren't in a corporeal body, but he can feel that they are very much alive and feel distinctly human. He approaches the person to ask why and how they are in the infinite realms, but they fade away before he gets the opportunity.

Clockwork, who was with him at the moment, tells him that the visitor from the living, was just the soul projection of someone that was sleeping, and then refuses to elaborate further. Since it's something that was to do with sleeping, Danny decides to go and ask Nocturn, it seemed like a reasonable assumption that he was the one at fault for the soul projection.

Contrary to what he thought, Nocturn informed Danny that Sleeping soul projection was a natural phenomenon that he didn't control. The land of dreams, ("My domain" - Nocturn reminds him), was in the infinite realm after all, and those who have been close to death sometimes slipped they're whole soul instead of just their mind, and ended up all over the infinite realms.

It isn't too different from a lucid dream for them, the body gets all the benefit of the sleep, the mind feels rested if they had a good time in the realms. Except, if they hurt their soul too bad during their little trip, it would have real consequences. Loosing memories, abilities regression, migraine, pain that reflects the soul damage, all either temporary until the soul healed, or permanent and deteriorating, and in some occasions finishing in the persons death. In the latter, the soul is usually too damaged and cease it's existence, or have enough ectoplasm and emotion to form into ghosts with crack cores whose existence is instantly in danger.

Danny clearly didn't like the image that was painted to him, so he asked Nocturn if there was really nothing that he could do. It took a lot of talking and convincing, but eventually Nocturn admitted he could be able to direct the soul projecting to appear on a certain place, but he refused to babysit anyone. Which was enough for Danny, all he needed to do was make another expansion in his castle.

He decided to make a garden to receive their soul projecting guests. The garden was enormous, with all kinds of spaced within it. Playgrounds, picnic spaces, soft benches, tables with ghost and space teamed board games, fountains, and of course, the beautiful flowers that surrounded and decorated the place. Once he got ghosts with gardening, protection and caring obsessions on the place to look out for the souls, he was ready to receive them. It took him by surprise the amount of people that came, the garden was never crowded, but was never empty either, and souls of all ages and places were visiting at all times.

He kept expanding the garden as he heard of new things their guests wished for. He enjoyed spending time in the middle of the garden where souls passed by but rarely appeared, it was calm, but not completly quite with the background noice of the soul enjoying their dreams, and he could do the more mundane king/prince work. Until, he starts getting a regular visitor on his little space of the garden.

Choose the DC character you prefer, my idea is for people who hasn't died in the past but has been in the doors of death (so died and came back would be disqualified but you do as you prefer), but I'm going with Tim.

The soul of a boy around his age appears just in front of him, as usual when he greets new arriving soul, he welcomes him with a gentle smile and tells him he is free to explore the garden. A ghost taker is assign to him. The soul, as usual, seems confused and like he wished to asks questions, but seems content to ask them to his tour guide, and Danny continues with his own duties.

But then, the same soul continues to appear in the same place every two or three days, they exchange greetings and every time talk for a bit longer before the boy leaves to explore once more. It's rear to have multiple visits from one soul, even more so for said soul to appear in the same place every time. By the four time, Danny decides to take a break on his royal duties and accompany his new friend.

~ They get close, and have cute scenes, Tim asks a lot of questions and Danny answers and not-answers a lot of questions ~

One day, Tim shows up as usual, but he is in full Red Robin costume, and well, Danny wasn't expecting an identity reveal.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

On the Bats side:

There's an attack of some villain that's able to put Red Robin (or character of your choice) on a sleeping beauty type of sleep while carrying a serious injury, were he stays sleep until teammates or backup gets him out of it. The event affects his soul, making him disconnect partially from the land of dreams and making his soul sleep project almost every time he sleeps.

Tim starts sleeping more often. It's worrying at first, Bruce being paranoid does every test in the book, despite Tim saying he's just finding sleep easier now. But, he was just affected by sleeping magic and suddenly his sleeping easier? Seems like a side effect, and that makes it worrying.

Tim's health in general improve, just like he's concentration and productivity. Who would have thought that working rested actually was more productive than working on less than three hours of sleep and missing obvious details and clues due to how tired you are.

With everything not only being okay, but better than before, paranoia about Tim's new sleeping schedule soon dies, and instead is replaced with teasing about how he used to refuse to rest kicking and screaming, and now he may sleep more than any of them.

On Tim's side, he's loving being able to soul project so often. He knew from the start he was in a different dimension, and he just wanted to know the hows, whys, and everything else. So far, he seems to do it at least once every three days, and he's even gone two times in a row a couple of times.

The garden had a lot of things to do, but Tim doesn't care about that, he's more interested in all the information he's getting. The first 3 times he was given different ghost nanny's, who were more focus on entertaining him and didn't really answer direct question. But then king/prince Phantom decided to accompany him personally, and everything went smoother. He was going back to get to know more about this new world, and maybe to know more about the cute prince/king too. He might also have gotten some better looking pajamas.

Now, he has a mission that takes more than a couple days with some people in his team that hasn't yet sen his face. He didn't realize how difficult it would be to do all nighters after getting used to a sleep schedule. He would usually try to go as long as possible without sleeping, but he decides that he should take advantage of the safety of where they're staying and sleep a bit too. He ended up soul projecting in full Red Robin costume. He tried to play it cool, maybe Phantom wouldn't know it was him.

"Red Robin, even if you didn't appear on the same spot as always, I can feel your soul. I know who you are."

[flowercrowncrip]

I wish that instead of talking about “independent living” as disabled people we talked more about “autonomous living”.

I think when a lot of people see “independent” they assume it means living alone without other people. And some people assume that independent living services aren’t for them because they need 24/7 care. Or non disabled people think it’s pointless because many disabled people can’t live on their own.

But what we call independent living often includes having access to carers/ PAs/ support workers. It’s about having freedom to make all the meaningful choices we can, having the support and equipment we need to live comfortably and safely and to access the community and other activities. And I feel like “autonomous living” describes that better.

[madame-helen]

[vaguely-concerned]

the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)

[willowser]

31 year old soggy loser touya that can't drive or stay out after curfew and that was released from prison 7 months ago and has to keep his job at ace hardware and has to go to his meetings and is figuring out how to both apologize and forgive and is so far behind socially among his peers because of all he had to endure during his child/teenagehood my beloved

[bitchesgetriches]

Hi bitches ❤️❤️ me and 2-3 friends are seniors in college, 8 months away from graduating, and are pretty sure we want to live together in our college town for a year or two after graduation. one of us has a secured job here, one of us is doing a 5th year at school, and one of us has job options lined up. Potentially one more coming back as a post-grad. Rent is pretty cheap for a house, around $900/month for the places we've been looking. Only one of us has a credit history. Can you offer advice on a timeline for getting our shit in order to secure a cute house after graduation? Much love 😍💐

Aw, sweet baby I LOVE this!!! You're all going to go far.

First things first: those of you without credit scores need to get credit scores. Here's our advice for that:

How to Build Good Credit Without Going Into Debt 

Those without jobs need to get 'em:

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Getting a Job, Raise, or Promotion 

And lastly, you all need to study up on how to live independently so you don't want to throttle your roommates:

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need To Know About Living Independently for the First Time

And it sounds like you're renting, but I think there are a few good tips in this one about how to find housing that you love:

Season 2, Episode 2: “I'm Not Ready to Buy a House---But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?” 

Did this help you out? Tip us!

[swan2swan]

This tweet has wholly altered the way I view this particular moment.

For me...yeah, the dog lives. Of course the dog lives! He's always lived! Every time I've watched the movie, the dog lives.

But this tweet made it click: audiences didn't know that. It would 100% have been a cinematic move to have this shot turn into Boomer getting swallowed up by the fireball, imprinting the horror of the alien attack...not by killing a kid or Vivica Fox, but just the dog. He's just a dog, after all. He doesn't need to survive. He has no role in the plot from this point on. Of course the dog's going to die! He's a dog! It will be darkly comedic and tragic and put emotional devastation onto the audience.

BUT NO.

THE DOG LIVES.

THE DOG IS A NATIONAL HERO. A SURVIVOR.

SO OF COURSE THE AUDIENCE LOSES THEIR MINDS.

THAT'S THE BEST DOG YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

[somerandomdudelmao]

[tanoraqui]

The Winchesters could not do Dungeon Meshi, but the Toudens could do Supernatural, you feel me?

[mendellyill]

Just saw a post about zevrans torturers in the fade being dalish elves that made me think about this.

I was listening to zevrans dialogue with the warden and other companions and zevran truly doesn't identify with or as basically any of the groups he could conceivably be a part of. He's left the crows so he's no longer a crow, he was rejected by the dalish and is not really a "true elf", he can't go back to being a kid in the brothel (last place he felt unconditional love). He's never had a lover which wasn't a contract or he didn't kill. He's just very dissociated from himself and everyone around him.

The only thing he consistently identifies as is being worth 7 gold coins. He says it to the warden more than once. He says it to some of the companions. My guys got 1 thing defining his self worth and it's that the crows bought him for 7 gold coins. And what does the warden give him to increase affinity? Gold bars. The warden is saying "You are worth so much more than what the crows paid for" in a quite literal sense. I'm emotional about the pixel man again.

[hiding-under-the-willow]

And that is what it continues to be about! Forcing that guy through therapy at the hands of cartoon animals if it is the last thing I do