#lol this feels like free advertising and I am proud of it

[zuckarr]

🎞️💗 My 10 Favourite YouTubers 💗🎞️

YouTube is the website I'm most often on. I first joined it in 2008, before it was bought by Google, which allowed me to experience it during its golden years. Prior to becoming a money-making colossus, YouTube was nothing more than a video sharing site, where users could upload virtually anything and get their videos rated with fun little red stars, post bulletins, have an inbox and get DMs, personalize channels with backgrounds, and so much more.

Nowadays, YouTube has changed radically, and in many ways, awfully. On the bright side, it also progressively became a chance for people to grow as video editors on a professional level. I've been watching and appreciating some of them so much that I consider myself to be part of their community.

The kind of YouTuber that I find myself most driven to are the vloggers, aka the folks who talk to the viewers about anything (even personal matters). I like listening to what they tell me, as if we're friends exchanging experiences and opinions in a cafe. I don't always agree with them, but that's alright.

I thought it would be quite nice to list my favourite YouTubers in one single post, in hopes that somebody else on here might discover a few interesting channels.

Nadia Bokody

This girl talks about sex education! Yknow, the thing they could never properly teach us in schools, despite how important it is. Nadia is a lovely woman who's had a lot of sexual experiences (which she has no problems admitting) and is very well informed about plenty of sex-related topics. She's there to chat with you as positively as possible and hopefully teach you a thing or two about your beautiful, private body parts and how to use them respectfully, with a partner or by yourself. Don't miss out!

2. Roly

Body modification, piercings, tattoos, fun and most importantly - fabulousness! These are the primary ingredients for the Roly channel, run by a fantastic gay man who gets a ton of hate and makes the best use of it!

3. Mohammed Agdabi

A black artist who takes deep dives into modern art issues, uncovering viral (and often trivial) Twitter fights and giving insight. Other than that, Mohammed is a great source of tips and encouragement for artists.

4. Aurikatariina

Depression is an invisible plague, and becoming a hoarder is often an even more hidden consequence of mental struggles. The house in your neighbourhood that you never saw the inside of could be filled to the brim with trash and dirt, for all you know. Aurikatariina is simply a cleaner, who loves to help out people who have stopped taking care of themselves, and therefore, of their homes. She compassionately tells the stories of the people she helps, while also giving out amazing tips and hacks for cleaning in the most efficient ways.

5. DottieJames

This girl can be many things, but she is first and foremost a poet. To be more precise, she is an unconventional poet, whose works are a mix of various forms of communication like humming, spelling, writing, reciting, doodling etc. She excels at expressing a gentle and odd uniqueness that sometimes feels hard to grasp. Worth a shot though, probably even two.

6. KnowsBestNever

The duration of KnowsBestNever's videos can be intimidating, but once you start listening, they're over in what feels like barely 10 minutes. This dude's words flow like water, and just like that, he is able to enter the crevices of each topic he chooses to dig into. Listening to him speak is nothing less than a pleasure. He can be thought-provoking in a way that easily resonates with you, forming the impression of having just had the best intellectual chat with a very down-to-earth friend.

7. DutchPilotGirl

Who hasn't wondered what's it like to be a pilot? How do they feel when they fly? Do they get tired of the gorgeous views from the cockpit? How do they return to their homes after a flight to the opposite side of the world? How do they start the airplane? This channel is a great chance for learning about lots of stuff that only pilots know, kindly narrated by a woman pilot who's worked her ass off to get where she is now!

8. Nu Mindframe

Sometimes you don't need a therapist. Sometimes all you need is the advice of a survivor, who has gone through terrible things and has completed her own healing journey by herself. This YouTuber opens up her heart to us and shares everything she has learned through suffering. There is something for each of us in her words.

9. Simnett Nutrition

This vegan bodybuilder adores sharing his tasty recipes, achievements, informations and thoughts! He thrives in positivity, and loves to tell the world how his vegan lifestyle is going. Whenever he smiles at the camera, it feels like the sun is shining. His enthusiasm is just incredible and I dare anyone not to feel engaged in it!

10. Karolina Żebrowska

Niche passions are adorable. This YouTuber loves dated fashion. Show her an old, black and white photograph of a random woman and she will be able to pinpoint exactly the time period she was from, just by looking at her clothes or hairstyle. Isn't that really cool?

[benbarnessweetsixteenchildbride]

Did y'all know that it's literally the End Times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sure Ben Barnes is a secret Christian and knows this. There are so many Christians who are actually knowing all of this crazy stuff, but because they won't be believed they can't say it. Well! I say all of that is in the past! It's time to Speak Now! What would Taylor Swift say! Right! She would TOTALLy say that it's the End Times if it was... right... because she'd want to save as many many many souls as possible. I feel the same way. Two things:

1: The End Times are fast approaching.

2: Secular-seeming music can be Christian (because God is in All Things, right!)

Anyway, my music is calling me. I'm obsessed with Ben Barnes's "Songs For You" album. He's so good. He's like Michael Bubble on STEROIDs and I LOVE IT! If I were his wife, and let's just pretend I am lol, I would keep advertising his music everywhere. I'd play it at the park, at art class, in the subway, in the dark, everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. Why! Because I'm a proud mummy of my baby boy Ben Barnes!

And on that positive, sweet, kind note, I'd like to say thank you for coming to my comedy? Christian? weird? skit? thing? I don't know? Okay? Now I'm questioning EVERYTHINg... or am I? All I know is Good Things Come to Those Who Wait, The Truth Will Set You Free, Despise Your Heart, I Have a Sound Mind, I Can Do All Things Through JESUS Christ Who Saves Me, I'm worth 1.5 Million US Dollars, and Tea/Chai Can Solve All the World's Problems.

XXXX XXXX XXXX Gossip Girl xoxo

[accio-victuuri]

BoXiao : Endorsement CPNs

Just listing a few of my favorites, where we clowned so hard with what appears to be bxg biased signs from brands. Mostly 2020-2021. This was supposed to be a simple post but it got a little bit out of hand. So. Here you go. Enjoy!

Note: If you don’t like CPN posts, just scroll along. If you don’t like BJYX — this is not for you. don’t hurt yourself and skip this post.

1. RoseOnly - I will not add the RoseOnly x Peace Elite collaboration here anymore cause most of the people reading this should be familiar. A little bit of my thoughts on that are here.

Now let’s move on to other clownery, cause when I said we did see some 👀 before, I meant it.

• GG’s campaign with them where he showcased a bunny with rainbow colored flowers. They could be showcasing all the kind of flowers they have or LGBT friendly advertising. After all, All love is love. 🌈

• For Roseonly’s 8th anniversary, GG had a campaign and VCR w/ them and that big 8 flower. 8 means bo. It’s truly used for the anniversary but of course we CPN cause we are clowns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwGnDR4zspI

• During Web’s promo for rules of my world and when his teaser photos came out— RoseOnly released a photo of a black rose ( same color as Web’s clothes in the teaser ) with the caption:

You’re the coolest guy in my heart.

• When they were doing a teaser for their new endorser, some people were pointing out that the silhouette looks like Bobo. lol. Twins!

• All the references to the Lonely Planet and Little Prince for this promotion. We all know that they both love LP and whether this is CPN or a personal preference— we’re claiming it!

• The green rose they once advertised with the caption I ONLY LOVE YOU. and with the green rose symbolizing innocence, simplicity and forever young. Green and those keywords, who do you remember?

• In 2019, they did a selling bundle with Shu Uemura which was a brand Web was endorsing at that time.

• In a live, the color green and red rose were together — GG and Web colors.

• An Ad in their online store where the display is the Leo rose which is Bobo’s zodiac sign. and GG is holding Libra. Leo x Libra. And with the caption below for their advertisement. We know Web is the Leo of all Leos but it’s still 👀

The proud Leo has a child-like arrogant temper. Some people think they are not easy to get along with, but they don’t know that they just have not entered their hearts. Actually, Leo’s tenderness is only for the right person.

Some other thing that I will add here for reference but I don’t necessarily believe. Link from weibo.

• When GG was announced as their brand spokesperson and Web gave a clue in his post. Also GG making 3 different posts and kadian combinations.

I’m adding in this collab they had with Eleme, the same time Web was endorsing the brand.

I’m sure I missed a couple more from RoseOnly but that just depends on how clear your BXG glasses are. To me the most important is their Lonely Planet / Star campaign with GG last year.

2. Shu Uemura - This is one of the OG brands that Web endorses and who loves him very much. They signed him when he was not yet a big star and flew him to different countries. They treat him very well. 🤍

• The most recent one is from their Ad with Bobo and a red ribbon which made us all think of WWX. I can understand from an Ad perspective that it’s perfect to pair up with a red lipstick — but our brains are wired to CPN. Soooo. And this is not their first offense with stuff like this.

• This Ad featuring Bobo : - "博"君一笑 BJYX.

• For the promotion photos of this eyeshadow palette, the colors and look is similar to GG’s painting for the Guangdian album cover. Yes. This was done some time after the song was released.

• This one is more of a coincidence. Years apart, both on the same day, they posted about a collaboration with One piece. It’s their favorite Anime. GG as Luffy & Web as Roronoa Zoro.

3. Qeelin -  will be very lazy with this one and copy/paste from my jewelry post. Take note that this Bobo design is not new and had always been a classic from Qeelin.

4. Kai Xiao Zao - Ah! KXZ! The brand that loves GG the most. So what signs did they give?

• Their recent new product is wontons. Who do we know that likes wontons? It reminded BXGs of the unofficial BTS when Web was nagging GG to eat Wontons.

• They used a well known BXG idiom:

"你是夏日限定, 也是来日方长"

5. Chunzhen - Endorsed by Bobo, and this is under Mengniu. It caused some drama— cause GG & Web are technically promoting the same company. but like, there are so many other c-ent artists endorsing this brand.

• They posted for this year’s Qixi, stating in the Caption that Bobo is able to balance love and work. Really? How did they know? And they had made a character called XIAO ZHEN for qixi ( a cartoon girl with blue hair ).

• Zhenguoli ( endorsed by GG ) and Chunzhen drinks which are under the same company posted graphics of the two drinks together. 👀

• Also since it’s both under the same umbrella company, and both yogurt drinks— you can see their boxes together in shops.

6. Stride - In Bobo’s box set initial release, 3 flavors were included and one of them is passionfruit or bai xiang guo ( bxg ). Of course, bxgs bought it because we were represented. ✌🏼

Also in a message, the brand acknowledged BXGs but later had to delete it because of well— you know who.

Dear Moto/Passion Fruit fans,

Thank you for your support to Hyunmai's spokesperson~. The gift box endorsed by Yibo is temporarily sold out, it is recommended You first collect and purchase, if it is sold later.

Please buy it as soon as possible~

7. Swarovski -  endorsed by Web 🤍

• They had turtle charms and bracelets, which endeared them to BXGs.

• They had a bracelet where you can put charms and in their Ad, it spells YIBO. of course. However a BXG noticed that on their recommended letters to add next, the letters are XZ + heart with a dot.

• Last year’s promotion of a lock necklace— Web changed his Weibo header. ‘Lock love, lock you.’

• His May 2020 Mother’s day promotion video that includes a confession (?). I know this is far off but the line used:

“ I love you, want you to see. I am Wang Yibo, this is my unique confession" is so similar to GG’s Bazaar confession.

8. Budweiser -- What we basically CPN about them is that they are an LGBT friendly brand and it’s always a plus when our boys endorse those kind of companies.

• Here you can find the CPN on the can that GG supposedly created with them.

• Their ad about ALL LOVE IS LOVE.•

 An earlier Ad that had two male leads. and another one recently released with same sex couple. 🌈

Also they did a collab with G-shock which is a brand that Web endorses.

9. Man Han Feast Noodles

• The most recent one is GG playing the Guqin ala LWJ and looking out the window to see the moon ( again ala LWJ ). Best part is GG looking like he would burst out laughing and they kept in the Ad.

• In their Mother’s Day post one line says “if you love someone you’ll always encourage them to eat more”. Sounds like a familiar gesture right? Who do we know nags each other to eat?

10. Zenith Do I even have to explain this? 

• GG chose a rainbow watch from Zenith collection for Qixi Festival. 🌈

11. Mengniu - Oh well, just last week they had to clarify as an Ad from them was seen with the words: "并肩于雪山之巅" = BJYXSZD. (Side by Side at the snowy mountain top)

12. Anta/ Li-ning - I’m adding it here cause the store owners in this video brought out GG/Web standees together 😂 Context is, there was a BJYX gathering going on so they took that out cause they knew the attendees loved them.

Plus this shopping app that put them together.

I’m capping this post here and will update this sometime in the future. However the ones I added here stood out to me or I experienced when it came out. I wanted to add Luckin Tea / Lays / Olay but that will be for another time.

As with all the CPN, feel free to not believe any of these and just take it as a coincidence. Or people clowning and reading into things more than they should. lol. Whether these are intentional or not, BXGs are always there to support the boys whenever they can. 🙏🏼

[kanerallels]

Ok ok eeee!!! I'm so excited! Okay, how about a Kanera princess and the frog au?! I was thinking the scene where they turn into frogs (or should it be lothcats?) Aka when she has to kiss him and then the line "how did I get down here, and how did you get all the way up there?" Until they have to fly away on ballons at the party? (Maybe Chopper can be the dog and Hera's just like "My dog just talked?!") Lol I'm so excited cause I know how good you are at AUs, congrats on 111!!😍

Heck yes my favorite Disney movie let's GO!!!!

Pairing: Hera Syndulla/Kanan Jarrus

Word Count: TBD, I'm on mobile

Tags/Warnings: G (for green. It's the green, it's the green, it's the green that Kanan needs...)

In the dressing room of her best friend’s bedroom, Hera changed out of her stained brown dress and slipped into the shimmering dark blue dress Omega had provided her with. In the other room, she could hear Omega chattering excitedly about the charming Jedi who’d shown up-- Kanan Jarrus, the apprentice of the deeply respected Depa Billaba. He’d swept Omega off her feet almost immediately, although from what Hera had heard, the young man had quite the reputation for such things.

Hera couldn’t focus on her friend’s words, though. In her mind, she could only replay the moment when she’d heard that she’d been outbid for the ship she was trying to buy. With it, she’d be free, to explore the galaxy by herself, not dependent on anyone.

But tonight, she’d gotten the news from the salesman himself-- they’d handed it off to someone with more money. She could still hear the man’s condescending words echoing in her ears-- a little woman of your… well, species, would have had her hands full trying to run a ship on her own. You’re best where you’re at.

Best where I’m at? Hera thought, frustration boiling through her veins. Working two jobs, sacrificing any semblance of fun or enjoyment just so she could save enough, scrimping and saving and making so many hard choices, and just when she thought she’d had a chance? It was all gone.

She stepped into the main bedroom as Omega was saying, “You know, I was starting to think that wishing on stars was just for babies, and crazy people.” She paused as Hera came into view, and a smile crossed her face. “Well, aren’t you just as pretty as a magnolia in May?” Taking a silver-and-blue headpiece from the chest of drawers in front of her, she brought it over and placed it on Hera’s head, saying, “Seems like only yesterday we were younger, dreaming our fairy tale dreams-- and tonight, they’re both coming true!”

Hera couldn’t bring herself to correct her friend, and Omega was so excited she didn’t even notice Hera’s silent demeanor. It was only seconds later that she swept back out into the party, leaving Hera alone in her room.

Reaching into the pocket of her stained dress, she pulled out the flimsi advertisement for a VCX-100 ship she’d found when she was little. Her mother had always encouraged her in this dream-- her father was a little more skeptical. Still, the memory of Eleni Syndulla holding her close as she excitedly talked about the ship she’d own one day was enough to make tears prickle in Hera’s eyes.

Moving out onto the balcony, she stared out at the Rylothian landscape, determined not to cry. But she’d been so close. So kriffing close, and she’d lost it all again. It was hard to imagine attempting this again, after how hard she’d work the first time-- and now she had to start over?

Releasing a shaky sigh, Hera blinked away her tears and lifted her gaze up to the sky. Her eyes landed on one of the stars-- the brightest one, that her mother had always told her and Omega stories about when they were little. A star you could make a wish upon, and it would always come true.

It was just a story for children. But in her current emotional state, Hera was about ready to believe anything.

Her gaze darted around the balcony. Finding it empty, Hera muttered, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” All the same, she lifted her gaze to the star and internally made her wish. Please. Please.

She closed her eyes for just a moment, then opened them, knowing nothing had changed. Wishes only came true in stories. Hard work was the only thing that would ever get her anywhere.

As it turned out, something actually had changed. Hera’s gaze drifted to the left, and her eyes went wide at the sight of a frog perched there. She wasn’t exactly a fan of frogs, if she was being honest, although she had nothing personal against them.

Remembering one of the other stories her mother had told her and Omega, a small smile tugged at Hera’s lips. “So what now?” she said, directing the comment at the frog. “I suppose you want a kiss?”

“I’m not about to say no to it,” the frog said with a smirk.

Hera wasn’t exactly proud of how she reacted next. But coming face to face with a frog that sounded like a grown man who thought he was more charming than he actually was? That was too much for her. Letting out the closest sound to a scream she’d made in years, she stumbled backwards and crashed into a shelf full of Omega’s things.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” the frog said, hastily hopping towards her. “I didn’t mean to startle you--”

He cut himself off with a yelp as he leapt to avoid a book from Omega’s shelf. And then a holodisk. The tooka doll Hera threw actually hit him, although it didn’t make much of a difference. Leaning his forearms on it, he remarked, “You’ve got a strong arm, Princess.”

Hera responded by grabbing the vibroblade Omega’s brothers had given her, and the frog’s eyes widened. “Please don’t--”

He dove out of the way just in time as the knife embedded itself point first in the wooden floor, and jumped up on top of the chest of drawers. “Okay, I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Kanan Jarrus, Jedi--”

Hera slammed a cup she’d found over him, neatly trapping him. “--Knight,” he finished. “What the kriff?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Hera snapped. “How would you like me to react to a talking frog??” And then his words caught up with her. “Wait. Jedi Knight? If you’re the Jedi Knight, who’s that down there charming Omega?” she demanded, releasing the cup without thinking.

Kanan immediately shoved the cup off of him with a grunt, letting it roll free. “How would I know?” he pointed out. “All I know is one minute, I’m a dashing Jedi Knight, handsome, excellent dancer, I might add--” Hera rolled her eyes extensively-- “and then I’m stuck with these.” He thrust one webbed foot in her direction, wobbling towards her dangerously, and Hera grabbed a book nearby in defense.

“Wait!” Kanan all but shouted, his eyes going wide. “Wait, wait-- I know that story! The one with the frog who used to be a prince-- what’s it called…?”

“‘The Frog Prince’?” Hera deadpanned.

“Exactly!” Kanan waved for her to hand over the book, almost toppling over under the weight. He managed to get it settled against the mirror, and flipped it open. “I used to hear this story all the time in the Creche. This-- this is it! This is the solution!” Turning towards Hera, he said, “You-- must kiss me.”

“Excuse me??”

Moving to his feet, Kanan directed her a charming grin that probably worked on most women when they were not incredibly irritated by him, and he was also not a frog. “Oh, don’t worry, you’ll enjoy it. All women do.”

“That’s revolting,” Hera told him flatly.

“I doubt you’ll be saying that soon,” Kanan said, his grin widening as he leaned forward-- and then the sac under expanded out, and Hera jerked back in alarm. “That’s new,” he assured her.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Hera said, which was only mostly a lie, “I wish I could help you. But I don’t kiss frogs, and I certainly won’t kiss you.”

“Wha-- you literally asked me back on the balcony!” Kanan protested, the alarm on his face growing.

“It was sarcasm!” Hera snapped. “And I certainly didn’t expect you to answer. There’s absolutely no way I’m kissing you.”

“Come on-- look, not only am I incredibly good-looking, but I’m with the Jedi Order,” Kanan pointed out. “I can make sure you’re rewarded handsomely for this. Surely there’s gotta be something you want, some wish we could grant?”

Despite herself, Hera’s eyes flicked to the flimsi poster for the VCX-100 that had gone flying across the room in the kerfuffle. But this was stupid. It was just a ship, she didn’t need it that badly.

Yet even as she thought the words, she knew it wasn’t true. It was more than a ship for her, it was freedom. It was a dream she’d had for as long as she could remember. And if there was a way to attain it…

“Just one kiss?” she asked, wavering.

“Unless you beg for more,” Kanan said, smirking.

That decided it. If it was only to get rid of this pain in the neck, Hera would do it. “Deal,” she said, nodding.

The frog instantly puckered his lips, closing his eyes, and Hera reeled backwards. It was just… gross. The idea of pressing her lips against those of a decidedly slimy looking--

She pushed that thought out of her mind, replaced it with the image of the VCX she’d own after this, and lunged forward to kiss the frog.

The moment her lips met his, greenish light flashed over them, and Hera felt it engulf her. Everything went black.

She didn’t know how long later her eyes slid open, but when they did, she was enveloped with some kind of blue fabric. Shoving it off of her, she looked up and saw a wide-eyed Kanan staring down at her. Except he was still a frog.

“.......kriff,” he whispered.

Uncomprehending, Hera blinked hard. “You look remarkably like a frog. Still. Aren’t you supposed to be handsome? But why are you up there? And what am I doing down here, with all this--”

She glanced down at the pool of fabric, seeing the green of her skin against it. But there was something different about it. Something off with the texture and the feeling of it.

Also, she was missing a finger.

Hera jerked to the side and caught sight of herself in a mirror. The face of a frog stared back, and she let out an undignified shriek. “What--” With a leap that was entirely instinct, she flew to the top of the dresser and crashed into Kanan, bowling him over. “What did you do to me?” she demanded, staggering to her feet.

“Easy-- don’t panic,” Kanan attempted to calm her. “It’s not so bad.”

“YOU TURNED ME INTO A FROG! WHAT PART OF THAT ISN’T BAD? I’M COVERED IN SLIME!”

Catching hold of her hand, Kanan said soothingly, “No, no-- it’s not slime. You’re secreting mucus.”

That was the last straw for Hera. She narrowed her eyes in a death glare at Kanan, and his eyes went wide just as she tackled him across the room. They crashed into a cushioned stool, bouncing up, slamming against a shelf, then down again and landing on a precariously balanced sniper rifle of Omega’s. Before Hera could act on the many threats she had boiling in her head, a book toppled off the shelf and landed on one end of the rifle, catapulting both her and Kanan out of the room, over the balcony and into the party below.

They plummeted towards the band below, landing on the drums. The drummer, a big male Togruta, instantly went after them with his drumsticks as they both dove away from him and attempted to make a break for it.

Hera heard the other band members start a faster song to match the renewed tempo as she and Kanan went flying through the air and landed on the nearest person. Unfortunately, it happened to be Omega. And it was less landing then falling down the back of her dress.

She started hopping around frantically with yelps of shock. As they were jolted around, Kanan remarked, “You know, for a costume ball, you’d think they’d be a little more welcoming!”

“This is not the time for jokes,” Hera snarled.

As Omega toppled over, the two of them managed to escape out of her voluminous hoop skirt, just in time to hear Hunter, Omega’s father figure/brother, shout, “CHOPPER! GET THE FROGS!”

Karabast. Hera caught sight of Chopper-- the tame vornskr that Hera had befriended-- jerk his head up, then bolt towards them. Next to her, Kanan grabbed her hand. “Run!”

As he leapt from the skirt to the nearby buffet table, flying past the shocked Kanan-lookalike, Hera snapped, “I can’t run, I’m a frog, thanks to you!”

“Then hop!” They landed on the buffet table, Hera almost slipping off the edge. Kanan hauled her up quickly and the two of them started hopping frantically down the table as Chopper came flying after them, scrabbling at the tablecloth. “Down!” Kanan shouted. “Down, you kriffing monster dog!”

Chopper did not listen, partially because he was not a dog, and partially because he was Chopper. Kanan and Hera kept going-- straight towards a pair of guests. One of them brandished a fake sword that looked a little too sharp, and swung at them viciously. At the exact same time, the man next to him, wearing a boga hat, ducked, and the sword severed the top of the hat. The hat dropped on top of Kanan and Hera, effectively covering their vision.

The next few minutes were a haze of chaos-- shouting and yelling and a lot of running. Finally, the boga hat came off of them, and both Kanan and Hera went flying forward, tangling in the strings of a bundle of balloons.

Hera frantically tried to disentangle herself as she spotted Chopper still charging towards them. “Wait! Chopper!” she shouted.

Kanan had other ideas. Grabbing the string of balloons, he jerked them free. “Going up!”

As the balloons zipped up into the air, Chopper lunged for them, and Hera shouted, “Chopper, it’s me, Hera!”

“Hera?” the vornskr gasped.

Before Hera could react to that, Chopper plummeted back to the ground, and they continued upwards.

“Chopper just talked,” Hera managed as Kanan grabbed her by the hand, pulling her up so she could grab onto some of the balloons. “The vornskr talked.”

His voice irritated, Kanan said, “You know, if you’re going to let every little thing bother you, this is going to be an even longer night!”

As they flew away from the party, Hera shot Kanan an unseen glare. The sooner she got away from this pain in the neck, the better. She had a bad feeling that wasn’t going to go as well as she hoped, though.

[lilypixels]

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

[earthstellar]

NEW AU JUST DROPPED

What if “The Scavengers” was a 90s Lifetime Series Sitcom? 

I keep making these because I can’t stop. 

I know this is self-indulgent, but for the record, I am old enough to remember the 90s so of course this was inevitable lol 

The illustrations are all from 90s fashion patterns, which I selected purely based on my memories of how common styles like this were at the time. (So, no outfits that are designer looks. These are all styles I can remember seeing people wear in real life.) 

If you aren’t familiar with the notoriously cheesy Lifetime network shows from the 90s, they are famous for being overbearingly trope-loaded, generally low or mid-budget in terms of production value, and feature questionable acting with obvious or preachy themes. Some of them are very light-hearted or obviously just fantasy fodder, and those are fun to watch in the way that staggeringly bad movies are fun to watch; Other Lifetime shows are surprisingly dark and handle mature themes with none of the tact or skill to do so appropriately, making them potentially genuinely upsetting. Which is... Not great. 

Obviously, we’re keeping it light-hearted here, and this is gonna be 100% Lifetime 90s brand cheese. Comfortably predictable, happy ending, feel-good cheese. 

AU Premise / TV Guide Series Summary: 

The Scavengers (1996) is a feel-good sitcom featuring a small group of people who come together with the goal of creating a New Age commune, aiming to provide their local community (as well as each other) with the support that they never received themselves when they needed it most. 

After a mildly rocky start, the newest commune member Francine comes to realise that regardless of their problems and difficult personal histories, when things get tough, The Scavengers are here to pick up the pieces-- Together. 

Characters:

Krok - The Team Mom and owner of the commune facilities. Her name is Kayla, and the perfectly colour coded tulips outside are indeed hers. Often moderates whenever arguments pop up, but can end up causing some friction herself due to her high (but generally fair) standards. Cultivates a large public access garden despite not having the legal permits required to do so. 

Crankcase - Everyone had an Aunt that dressed like this in the 90s. Always fairly laid back and funny, until suddenly the hurricane within is released; Her name is Christine, and she wears capris so that her range of movement isn’t limited when she starts running around due to chronic and unnecessary stress. She is extremely loud; Her social anxiety results in a tendency to try to scare people away in pre-emptive self-defence, but she considers her friends to be her family. Even when she’s yelling at them. Accidentally or on purpose. She helps Kayla manage the business side of things, although she refuses to ever speak over the phone with anyone, for any reason. 

Misfire - Really wanted to graduate art school, but did not graduate art school. It isn’t her fault her ADHD wasn’t accommodated by the university, but that doesn’t prevent Maureen from dealing with feelings of inadequacy and failure; In an effort to prove to herself that she has skills, she runs a life drawing course at the commune and is fairly proud of all the murals she’s done for the compound’s walls-- Even though there are still a few perpetually unfinished sections on most of them. 

Overall a positive person despite her awareness of the hits her self-esteem has taken, she refuses to accept other people’s judgements of her or her skills. She struggles to form social boundaries, but is still a surprisingly good judge of character.

Fulcrum - The newest member of the commune, Fiora answered a newspaper advertisement for a small local design job in an attempt to get her life back on track after her former boss wrongfully blamed her for an interior design contract that went poorly. She was fired, and without a reference for her job applications, she took the job at the commune more out of desperation than shared New Age beliefs-- At least, at first. 

Despite some early tensions with Maureen (who saw Fiora’s efforts to help with the appearance of the commune as a mild insult to her own creative contributions), Fiora starts to see why the commune works and how much good they are able to do for their otherwise neglected local area-- And for each other.

Flywheels - Runs a local prayer group, although after being disillusioned with the inability of the local church to provide adequate support resources to the wider community, Frankie starts to run an all-faiths-welcome meditation group and self-help programme at the commune. 

Spinister - Struggling to find work elsewhere because of her learning disability, Sandra is far more intelligent than anyone gives her credit for-- And is often frustrated by a lack of professional opportunities. Initially afraid to disclose her disability out of fear of rejection, she soon found that the commune is a judgement-free zone, and has since set up a tutoring program for adult students in the commune’s community space. 

[illfoandillfie]

DMs

Pairing: Ben Hardy x F!Reader

Summery: You run a nsfw snapchat account. Ben's horny.

Warnings: SMUT (18+), partially written as chat text, video chat sex, masturbation, fingering, sex toys, nipple play, voyeurism I guess, fuckboy ben

Words: 3774

A/N: Inspired by something El posted. I love Ben but he’s got them fuckboy/lad vibes and im positive he’d get down on some sc porn

Taglist:  @laedymoon​  @dtfrogertaylor​   @ezmina98​  @vee-ndetta​ @atomic-watermelon​ @kellypenac​ @labessieisallama​ @deakyclicks​ @jennyggggrrr​ @drowseoftaylor​  @hannafuckingsucks​  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming​ @queenmylovely​

@veriloquently​

Your phone buzzed, the familiar noise distracting you from your book. Considering you’d just posted a new photo, partially hidden by emojis, to Instagram and updated your snapchat story with the uncensored version, it was hardly surprising you were getting messages.

YourNewDaddy: Mmm baby let me pound you

You clicked through to his profile. Absolutely nothing. The profile picture was some abs that could belong to anyone. No recent snaps, nothing. For a few seconds you considered replying with your payment details but decided against it. He wasn’t worth your time.  

The whole NSFW account thing had started a while ago on Tumblr and then Instagram. A way to kill time and get some attention that you weren’t receiving in the real world. But then the porn ban had happened which severely limited what you could post, so you’d mostly moved to Snapchat, using everything else to advertise. A few months after the move you started getting guys offering to pay you to do specific things. One had wanted an audio recording of you calling him Daddy and begging for his cock with a few moans thrown in. Another had wanted a video of you and a dildo, though he’d had to pay more. Since then you’d used your accounts to pick up a bit of extra cash here and there. Nowhere near enough to live off of, but it came in handy.

You clicked back out of the app, put down your phone and went back to your book, hoping someone entertaining would at least comment on the photo soon. Barely half a page later another ding pulled you away. This time Instagram.  

Benhardy: Just came over you

Quick and to the point. Fuckboy energy. You clicked onto his profile half expecting another faceless timewaster. No description or links to other sites but he had a profile picture. And some fifty odd photos. Not many posts considering his million followers but at least you knew he was a real person. You scrolled through his feed trying to put gather what info you could before you responded. Lots of photos of himself sometimes with friends. A few that were clearly modelling jobs or, more likely considering the movie trailers and saved story called Oscars 2019, promotional photoshoots for magazines. And he was a proud dog dad. Definitely attractive. You wondered briefly why someone so handsome was getting off to half dressed girls on Instagram but put it out of your mind as you opened his conversation up again. Who cared why as long as he was talking to you? After all, he was hot and willingly giving you attention. Plus, if he was an actor or whatever he probably wouldn’t mind paying for something special, once you’d given him a taste. The only question left was how to approach the conversation.  

You: Really? That’s so flattering!

You: Kind of wish you’d cum over me for real tho, bit bored

Benhardy: dirty girl

Benhardy: could probably think of some way to keep you busy

Benhardy: you’re fit

You: haha aww thank you! I post more often on snap if you wanna follow. don’t have to hide behind swimwear and emojis there. easier to chat too, unless you prefer kik or something

He didn’t reply. You frowned at your phone wondering if you’d shown your hand too soon. Perhaps you should have kept up the flattered damsel act a little longer, waited before mentioning Snapchat. Maybe he wasn’t looking for a chat, just genuinely wanted to compliment you, even if it was in a gross slightly derogatory way. Or maybe he just got cold feet. You sighed as you swiped back to check what other people had been sending you. A few more ignorable accounts, a couple messages you didn’t like enough to respond to straight away. And then another Snapchat notification.  

Ben Jones: had to create an account but I’m here

You: oh! you’ve changed your name

Ben Jones: Hardy’s the stage name lol

You: hmmm hardy… little bit of a pornstar name

You: or could be if you changed the ben part.

Ben Jones: that’s my backup plan in case actual acting doesn’t work out lol

Ben Jones: not too out of place right now tho

You: haha that because of me?

Ben Jones: maybe. loved the photos in your story you’ve got great tits

Ben Jones: kinda wanna see you pinch and pull on them

And so it began. You leaned forward to pull your shirt off and then settled back against the pillows, running your fingers around your nipple until it was hard. Angling the camera towards your chest you pinched your nipple between your thumb and forefinger, rolling it between them. The camera clicked as you took a photo and then clicked again as you tugged your nipple away from your body, hissing a little at the pain.

You: Like this?

Ben Jones: perfect

Ben Jones: really are lovely tits.

You: surprisingly don’t hear that much irl so ty

Ben Jones: u don’t? criminal

You: lmao yeah but that’s what I have you for

Ben Jones: happy to help

Ben Jones: What are you wearing?

You: Just a pair of knickers now

Ben Jones: sexy

Ben Jones: can I see?

You: just the knickers or the whole look?

Ben Jones: whole look first

Ben Jones: then just the knickers so I can see the wet spot you’re making

You wriggled against the pillows, shuffling further down the bed. Long ago you’d learnt which angles were the easiest to take photos in and which were the best to show off your body. A full body shot was easiest when you leaned your phone up against a stack of books or something at the foot of the bed and used the timer on the camera to get a few shots of you kneeling. It left your hands fee to squeeze your tits if that seemed appropriate or slip into your underwear, or to put behind your back in a pose that seemed innocent but actually pushed your hips and chest forward. For Ben though you felt something that appeared a little more casual would be appropriate. You lay back, head raised slightly on your pillows, feel flat against the mattress so your knees were in the air and pressed together. Carefully you positioned the camera, wrist twisted a little to get the angle just right. You brought your free hand up to your breasts, pulling your nipple again since Ben seemed to like it, and snapped a photo. The shot of your underwear was easier, legs spread, pushing your hips up slightly to get a clear shot of the wet patch that had been slowly growing since the start of the conversation, though a little added saliva to make it more obvious didn’t hurt. He wouldn’t be able to tell.  

Ben Jones: hot

Ben Jones: like got me so hard again hot

You: does that mean I get a picture in return?

Ben Jones: Only if you take your knickers off for me

Ben Jones: wouldn’t be fair otherwise since im not wearing underwear😉  

You took your time sending him a new photo and got one back almost straight away. You would have scoffed at his eagerness to show himself off but, with a body like his you couldn’t really blame him. You zoomed into the photo, trailing your eyes over every inch of it. Messy blonde hair, though whether it was intentionally messy or just like that from him grabbing it while he jerked off over your photo you weren’t sure. Gorgeous eyes, heavy lidded and a little fucked out. One arm behind his head as he lay on his bed. It looked carefree and spontaneous, like someone else had taken the photo at the very moment he looked at the camera, but it showed off the muscles in his arms too well to be coincidence. And speaking of muscles. The boy was a fucking Adonis. You were instantly struck by the desire to drag your nails down his chest and leave a trail of hickeys and bite marks all the way down to his toned stomach and tight waist. You clenched your thighs together at the thought as you slowly revealed the bottom half of the photo. He had his legs outstretched though one was more bent than the other, knee jutting out to the side. Almost too casual to be casual, especially with the way he had his hand wrapped around his cock, like the photo was taken mid stroke. You couldn’t help linger over that particular part of the photo. It was a lovely hand, big with noticeable veins, exactly the sort that could make you weak in the knees. And the same could be said for the dick it was holding. You wondered briefly where this Ben guy had come from and what you could possibly have done to catch his attention.  

Ben Jones: is that silence because you’re so impressed

The message made you roll your eyes. Hot he might be, but he was still just another desperate fuckboy looking for a naked girl to drool over and a quick orgasm.  

You: well I’m not not impressed

Ben Jones: no need to be shy. just say you’re imagining riding me and I'd understand

You: wasn’t before. Am now.

Ben Jones: what were you picturing before?

You: doggy

Ben Jones: be happy to let you try both and compare.

You: let me film it and watch the tapes back to study your game?

Ben Jones: wait this is dumb.

Your frowned at your phone. For such typical guy, the sort you’d dealt with so many times before, Ben sure was hard to pin down.  

You: what?

Ben Jones: you comfortable doing live chat?

Ohhhh

You: umm sure thing

Ben Jones: you don’t have to

You: i know that. you couldn’t force me to even if you wanted, beauty of doing this online. i just don’t do live very often. or I charge for it.

Ben Jones: that desperate for me?

You: you caught me in a good mood

You let the call ring for a bit, wanting to make sure Ben understood how in control you were and how much more he needed it than you. But eventually you picked up, settling back against your pillows. Ben seemed to be in a similar position, leaning against his headboard, the screen showing you his face and bare shoulders. “Hi,” “Hi,” his voice was deeper than you’d expected, thrown by how soft and, dare you say, feminine his features were, and yet it suited him perfectly. You could only imagine how that voice would sound growling out sexually charged complements, the thought appealing enough to have you pressing your thighs together. There was a moment of silence as you took each other in, not quite sure how to continue now that you’d switched from text.   “So you going to show me how wet you are?” Once again his demeanour had you wanting to roll your eyes though you refrained, “No.” “No?” His confusion was entertaining to say the least. So many of the men who contacted you assumed you were going to be outright submissive and meek, taking whatever photos they demanded and doing everything they told you to with a smile and a yes sir. So proving them wrong, defying them, taking control, that was fun. Almost an aphrodisiac in its own right. Sometimes you’d eventually submit, play the brat and then let them win, and if they were paying it was a different story. But Ben struck you as the kind of guy who could use a little more pushback. Probably used to getting his way, having his pick of the litter. Lord knows had he hit on you in real life you probably would have agreed to whatever he wanted just to feel his hands on you. But here, on your profile, you had the power. Plus, in the back of your mind you suspected that being a little more assertive might just make him more interested in seeing you submit and maybe a little more willing to pay for the pleasure.   “Not yet.” “Bit of a bold move considering I could just go find someone else to look at. There’re these things called porn sites, yeah?” “But they’re so impersonal. Isn’t this more fun?” He paused, eyeing you, and then let out a breath, “You got me there.” “Figured, since the video chat was your idea and all.” “Just got sick of typing one handed.” “Mmhmm, sure.” “So are you going to show me your cunt then?” “Eventually. But what’s the rush?” you stood up, making sure to let the camera dip just a little so Ben got a quick flash of your chest. “How about I’m hard as hell and want to get off?” “You’re not the only one who wants to get off so just hold your horses for a second while I get my toys.” “There are toys now?” You could see Ben’s shoulder move as he started to stroke himself again. “Told you to hold your horses. Stop touching yourself.” Ben’s arm stopped its movement though he seemed a little taken aback by his own obedience. “Good boy,” you watched for Ben’s reaction, not disappointed as he swallowed hard, his cheeks going pinker than they already were. That was interesting. “Yes there are toys, you wanna see?” “Do I get to pick which ones you use?” “Maybe,” “Go on, show me then,” You flipped the camera around as you opened your chest of draws. There wasn’t much in there, a couple different dildos and vibrators, a set of nipple suckers, mostly things you’d bought to fulfil requests guys were paying you for. You picked up the nipple suckers and held them up to the camera. “I assume you’d like to see me in these since you liked watching me play with my nipples.” “Mmhmm, absolutely. Also want to see you with a dildo. You got one with a suction base? Might tell you to ride it the way you’d ride me,” he seemed to be doubling down on the pull for control after you’d seen his reaction to being told what to do, determined to put you in your place or whatever. “Unfortunately, no. But this one will do,” you took hold of a silicon dildo, pulling it from the draw, “Don’t think it's as big as you but it does vibrate and that’s guaranteed to work.” “I’ll allow it, though I think we both know I’d be better.” “I’m going to ignore that,” you said as you turned the camera back towards you and headed back to your bed, settling against the pillows again. You propped the camera up against a pillow so Ben could watch as you placed the suckers over your nipples, whimpering at the sudden taught feeling. You picked the phone back up, giving Ben a closer view of your boobs. “They suit you. And you can ignore it all you like but when you start doing what I say and I let you fuck yourself into your third orgasm I’ll remind you. Maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll tell you where you can meet me in real life and show you exactly how good I am.” “You’re a cocky one, aren’t you?”   “In every sense. If I remember correctly you were speechless at the sight.” “You’ve got a bad memory, Benny boy.” Slowly you let your fingers trail down to your pussy. You didn’t believe he was as good as he thought he was – you’d dealt with too many overconfident wankers, both in real life and online, to believe another one – but the game you’d fallen into, the back and forth teasing, not entirely sure who was in control at any one time, was arousing to say the least. It was certainly one of the less predictable conversations you’d had recently.   “If not speechless then certainly wet. Show me your pussy, wanna see you touching yourself.”” “Who said I’m touching myself?” you slipped a finger into your entrance, trying to keep your breathing even.” “You’re not as good at hiding it as you think you are. So show me.” “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Ben gave you a fleeting look, eyebrow raised, before his camera flipped and you were once again looking at his hand wrapped around his cock, red and leaking precum. You turned your camera too, making sure he had a good view. “Add a second finger for me.” You did as he asked, “You been a good boy and not touched? Or do I have to tell you off for misbehaving?” “I didn’t but it wasn’t because of anything you said. Just didn’t want things to finish before I heard you beg me to cum.” He began to stroke himself, keeping in time with the slow pace you’d set as you pumped your fingers in and out of your pussy. “Sure,” you panted, adding a third finger, “so if I told you to stop now,” His hand halted. “Well aren’t you just so obedient,” You removed your fingers from yourself, reaching to grab the dildo, “you wanna see me fuck myself properly? Watch me cum all over this toy, pretend it’s your cock making me moan?”   “God yes,” his voice cracked a little, fingers twitching against himself as he briefly let the cocky, controlling persona fall away. It didn’t last long, “Show me how deep you can take that cock. C’mon, I know what a fucking slut you are, getting off on people watching you.” You didn’t bother arguing, sliding the dildo along your dripping folds before pressing it into yourself with a whine. “Wait, hang on a sec.” The was the sound of shuffling and the screen went black as Ben moved around but, eventually, he flipped the camera again and settled back on the bed. He’d propped his phone up somewhere in front of himself, letting you see every inch of him from his face to his hard, leaking cock, “better?” “Oh much, hang on I’ll do the same," you carefully pulled the dildo from yourself and sat up, leaning your phone against a stack of books on your bedside table and then adjusting your pillows in front of it, “we good?” “Yeah, take the nipple things off though, wanna see your tits properly.” You did as he asked, letting out a soft moan at the sensation. Ben chuckled, “God I can’t wait to hear how loud you moan imaging how hard I’d fuck you.” You slid the dildo back into your entrance, slowly pumping it in and out of yourself as you brought your other hand up to squeeze your breast, “mmm, you look so pretty when you’re all needy Benny.” It wasn’t a lie, between his lust blown eyes, flushed cheeks and soft pout, Ben looked incredible and it only turned you on more, “Want to show me how needy you can get? Want me make you beg?” “Faster. Harder,” he ignored your questions in favour of giving you another order but you were sure you’d heard his voice crack just a little. You sped up, whining with each thrust, Ben’s hand matching your pace as his slid his thumb over the tip and spread the precum over his length. “Fuck your wet, I can hear it. That all because of me?” “Maybe a-a bit. Also just like, fuck, being watched,” “Turn on the vibrator and rub your clit,” Ben’s voice was husky, impossibly deep and rough, “don’t stop until I say.” You moaned as the vibrations started, angling the dildo to rub against your g-spot on every pass.   “There you go, being a good little slut. Gonna cum how I tell you to.” “On-only if you cum how I tell you to.” You almost let the dildo fall from your grasp, so shocked were you by the whine Ben let out, “Like that idea? Want me to tell you what to do? If I told you to stop and watch me would you?” “No,” he said, steadfastly sticking to the game although his hand faltered and his voice had mostly lost the controlling edge he’d had before, all desperate, whiny need. “N-not sure I beli-eve you.” “Please don’t stop. Wanna cum so bad,” “I know y-ou do Benny.” “You close?” “Yes, fuck Ben, so close.” “Cum for me, come on, be a good slut and cum,” “Not. Yet. Play with your balls Benny, wanna see you cum first.” His gasped turned into a strangled cry as he ran his fingers over his testicles before lightly squeezing them “T-turn the vibrator higher,” Neither one of you were in control anymore, too caught up in getting yourselves and each other off, though you were both determinedly looking at the screen, watching each other. Ben’s lip was caught between his teeth, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he let out some of the prettiest moans you’d ever heard. It only served to push you closer to the edge, your own moans escaping as you bucked your hips rhythmically in time with the dildo moving in and out of your cunt. Ben finished a split second before you did, your eyes glued to the white now painting his stomach as you held the dildo in place, its vibrations making your toes curl.

The was a moment of quiet as you both collected yourselves, the only sounds his panted breaths and your soft whine as you removed the dildo from yourself, and then Ben spoke.   “Fuck that was hot.” “Yup,” “I thought your tits were good enough to wank over but Christ. That’s gonna keep me going for a bit.” You laughed, relaxing as your heart gradually fell back to its normal rhythm, “Well not too long I hope. You’re fun and I’d be happy to chat again sometime.” “Did I see in your bio that you take commissions?” “Yuuup,” “Huh, well, I’ll keep that in mind then.” “I look forward to it,” “Well, I should be off then, gotta clean up,” he gestured to the mess drying on his stomach. “Yeah, me too, maybe have a nap. That really was fun though so next time you’re bored or whatever hit me up. If you’re lucky I’ll let you boss me around. If you’re luckier I’ll do the bossing,” “I’d like to see you try,” “That whine you made says you’d enjoy it quite a lot,” “My whine? What about yours? Needy little brat.” Guess you’ll have to come back and settle this then.” “Guess I will. See you later.”

[goutheswimqueen]

thoughts on free! s3? what do you think went wrong/right/what you wish it would’ve went etc

I could quite literally go on FOREVER about season 3 and y’know what you asked for it so I’m just gonna ramble until I feel good about it lmao.

Now first I have to say that I wholeheartedly love season 3 with the deepest passion in my bones. I genuinely didn’t think that we were ever going to GET a season 3 in the first place, so the fact that it exists is just... so meaningful to me as someone whose favorite franchise is Free! and someone whose life was saved by these dumbass swimmers. 

I will say that season 3 isn’t what I wanted from it. I wanted it to be centered on Nagisa, Rei, Gou, Sousuke, Ai, and Momo. I love Haru with my entire being but I really really REALLY wanted to see a series centered on the Iwatobi trio. They’re so underrated and I felt like they were lowkey sidelined in Eternal Summer so I wanted to see them shine and grow together in their third year. But of course Kyoani has just been setting them aside more and more as time has gone on so I feel like that was nothing but a hopeless dream lmao. I have a lot of headcanons and AUs about what went on with everyone who was still in Iwatobi while the rest of the gang was in Tokyo. The little bits that Kyoani gave us of them were beautiful, I will admit. Episode 11 is my FAVORITE episode of season 3. The fact that Rei WON A NATIONAL RACE??? Like, come on. I wish we could’ve seen the work that he put in to even be able to do that in the first place. That moment where he ponders what he’ll be doing after high school really gets to me too because I would love to know what the fuck he and the others are gonna do. I wish we could’ve seen the moments in their third year that led to whatever decisions they will make. I wanted to see the Iwatobi trio go through the absolute wringer together lmao. I wanted angst I wanted to see their journey that led them to where they are now. I wanted to see more of them growing with the new trio too. I wanted to learn more about Gou and Sousuke’s past through their interactions in her third year. If the season was longer I feel like they could’ve had it be half the Iwatobi arc and half the Tokyo arc, y’know what I mean?

Nonetheless, I love season 3 for what it was. I’m so beyond happy that they brought in Asahi, Ikuya, Natsuya, and Nao, you have no idea. The High Speed! characters hold such a special place in my heart. I wish Asahi would’ve had more of an arc/character development though, and I wish Nao was more included. I think Natsuya’s character arc was my favorite of the whole season. Seeing the trash traveling man that he had become and his interactions with Rin and Sousuke really stuck with me for some reason. And that line that he had when he was talking to Ikuya and fucking crying like, “a dream to fight for my strength and pride, plain and simple.” That shit fucked me up bro. We all meme about Natsuya a lot but I feel like there’s a lot of deeper shit there that’s yet to be explored. When we met Ryuuji I was genuinely convinced that he was Ikuya and Natsuya’s father because it would explain a lot about Natsuya’s behavior. A trash dad who wasn’t really there for his family and just kinda fucked off to travel the world training swimmers until he found one that met his expectations? That would’ve added so much to Natsuya and Ikuya’s background stories and their character arcs. Like can you imagine? Natsuya not initially going into professional swimming because the fact that his father LEFT to find a swimmer to train instead of training his own damn son because he didn’t see that potential in him??? Natsuya being inspired by Ikuya to work hard to prove their father wrong??????? Nao punching Ryuuji square in the nose the moment he sees him???????????? A fucking gold mine that Kyoani could’ve dove into, but no he’s related to Shizuru lmao. 

I could go on forever about Natsuya in season 3 cuz I just really, really loved his arc but I’m gonna keep rolling haha. Hiyori was probably the most unexpected thing from season 3 and I just... love him so much. Like his absolute snakey behavior gave me the same chills that that scene of Sousuke pushing Haru against a vending machine in episode 2 of Eternal Summer gave me. I LOVE that shit. The Free! antagonists just keep getting bitchier and bitchier lmao. I also relate to Hiyori on a deeper level. I too have been selfishly protective of my best friends in a way that... really just wasn’t the way to go. Like jeez Hiyori I understand how you feel but maybe let them talk to Ikuya at least once??? Chill with the possessiveness? Idk I know Hiyori is the source of a lot of discourse lol, but that’s just how I feel because of my own similar experiences with myself and others who’ve acted in a similar way. I do wish his beef at the other boys wasn’t solved by just fuckin... swimming with Haru lmfaoooooo. Like I wish they just would’ve added more to his conversation with Ikuya when he asked him to join the relay with him.

I was quite satisfied with Rin’s arc in season 3. It just like, made perfect sense to me I guess lmao. I know he wasn’t there much but I don’t know what else they could or should have done with him, if that makes sense. The fact that his coach is Ai’s uncle is just the best thing ever too lmao.

I was also very happy with Haru’s arc actually!! Seeing how much he has grown makes me feel like a proud mom. Ya boi is tired of the bullshit and the miscommunication haha. Of course I’ll always wish he didn’t go into pro swimming but alas, gotta deal with it I guess. I love his dynamic with Ryuuji and the way that he has dealt with pro swimming though. And his decision to go into the individual medley absolutely made me lose my mind. I didn’t know I needed to see him swim the other strokes until it happened and I just, I loved that so muchhh. 

I alsooooo enjoyed Ikuya’s arc. Seeing someone from your past again like that can 100% have that effect on you. I just kinda wish we understood more about like, why he just randomly faints while swimming sometimes? I feel like they didn’t solidly explain it? Cuz I don’t think it was always from overworking himself. Idk maybe I’m just a dumbass and remembering incorrectly.

Kisumi deserved better. YOU CAN’T TELL ME THIS BOY DOESN’T HAVE UNDERLYING ANGST THAT KYOANI HASN’T DELVED INTO. He gave us that line of “We’ll never make friends like the ones we had back then” and then him worrying about whether or not there was anything he could do to help with the Ikuya situation. This boy feels left out and you can’t tell me otherwise and it is 100% because of the fact that he’s not a swimmer. Someone give this boy a basketball team that he can experience that kind of bond with PLEASE. I AM BEGGING ON MY KNEES!!!

Makoto also deserved better. Like, okay, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved his arc with the kids and Nao and all that. I love his new dream. BUT!!! Kyoani has yet to go into depth with his insecurities with Haru. I’m still not over that damn dream he had on that bus. All we got in season 3 was Makoto’s aNGSTY looks when it came to his relationship with Haru lmao. GIVE MAKOTO A BIGGER ROLE AND A BIGGER ARC DAMMIT. He’s one of the most popular characters I’m surprised his angst hasn’t been touched on more. This dumbass just needs to stop holding things in i SWEAR TO GAWD.

I thought the inclusion of Albert was kinda weird, dunno what the point of him is aside from making Haru shake in his bones. Kinjou is definitely interesting. He scares me lmao, but I am here for that. Give us an antagonist who is just absolutely unhinged at this point LMAO. I have some headcanons about him too but I feel like the new movie coming up is going to crush my dreams soooo yeah.

Isuzu is a goddess. I’m so happy she’s finally here and she has a name and a FACE. We learned that the Mikoshiba bros had a sister before we even knew that Momo existed lmao (Sei mentioned her in a drama cd from season 1). I almost thought they were never going to give her to us but she’s here and she’s beautiful and she’s everything that I wanted her to be. I’m so happy she thinks Gou is cute and that GOU LIKES HER and I just ugh yes thank you so much Kyoani I never expected that we’d actually get this but I’m so happy we have it. I hope she goes to Hidaka Uni and gets to race Haru like she wanted haha. And I’m so happy we got to see her swim! Our first in-anime female swimmer with a name. I love her.

Speaking of FEMALE SWIMMERS. Sighhhhhh.... My biggest disappointment. Aki Yazaki. Where is she? We deserve her!! I promise we do!! She was SUCH an important character in the High Speed! novels and kyoani decided that she just doesn’t exist anymore lmao (biggest reason why I’m not the biggest fan of the Starting Days movie). At this point I’ve lost hope that she’ll ever be included in the anime, and it makes me so sad. I love her so much and there’s so much potential for an amazing beautiful story arc with her if she reunited with the boys. I don’t think we’re going to get a season 4, (the new movie is scaring me making me think it’s the end of the series with the way it’s been advertised...) but if we DID get one I imagine it beginning with Haru walking through a snowy day, huddling close to himself to shelter from the cold, when he passes by a tall figure and catches a glimpse of familiar caramel hair with a loose little braid peeking out from behind one ear and a large scarf that has gotten quite messed up over years of wear and tear, a memory clicks in his mind like a light switch and he stops in his tracks to turn around and let a long forgotten name slip from his lips: “Yazaki Aki?” ... cue opening sequence. LIKE WOULDN’T THAT BE SO AMAZING???????? I WOULD FUCKING SHIT MYSELF OKAY YOU DON’T UNDERSTANDDDD. Aki is one of my favorite characters I’m so mad she wasn’t in season 3. I’m also mad that Satomi Nii wasn’t there either like!!! She would make a great trio with Ikuya and Hiyori that’s all I’m sayinggggg. I would probably start crying if either of them showed up at some point like genuinely I would just be a mess sobbing on the floor. ALSO I FEEL LIKE GOU AND ISUZU WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM LIKE PLS GIVE ME THE GIRLS THAT WE DESERVE!!!

The art style of season 3 was pretty good. The only thing that bothered me about it was how fucking WIDE the characters’ shoulders were sometimes. Especially with the big bois like Makoto and Sousuke. Like please god no stop that. I’m always gonna miss the art style from season 1 tho, the crazy expressions n shit that were there were just too GOOD lmao. I feel like in season 3 they kind of attempted to bring that back but it just wasn’t executed the same and done to the same extent. R.I.P. the comedy from season 1, it will be forever missed.

I love the opening and ending themes, always. So fucking good. I’m so happy all the characters were included in the end theme animation sequence. I’ll never get over Gou and her BEAUTY.

ANYWAYS. Those are my thoughts in the general sense. Idk if I forgot anything because I have so many thoughts that’re all unorganized haha. If anyone wants me to talk in more detail about anything specific I am soooooo down! Thank you for sending in this ask, talking about this show makes me happy hehe.

[knightofameris]

— 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑠' 𝑏𝑜𝑏𝑎 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑝 (𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘬𝘺𝘶𝘶!!)

I’m proud to announce the soft opening of Ameris’ Boba Shop! As I prepare the rest of the drinks on the menu, I’ll be ready to release a new drink daily very soon!

Hopefully you’re able to find your favorite drink on the menu, but if not, once the shop opens on August 30th, feel free to stop by the shop and request* for your favorite drink or any other drink you’d like to see on the menu.

*𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦, 𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵 30𝘵𝘩, 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘣𝘰𝘹 𝘢 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬 + 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘰𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘰𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳

𝐅𝐀𝐐**

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬' 𝐛𝐨𝐛𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥?

↳ Great question! All drinks come from various boba locations along with a cute bobarista or customer!

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝?

↳ It depends on which store you’re going to! Since ameris’ boba shop has drinks from various stores, it will vary. Those with a ‘☆‘ next to it are my personal favorites! ***

**𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘍𝘈𝘘 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘱 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴

***𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦

Hopefully I’ll see you all there at the opening!

This was also inspired by my friend (and my many other friends who are/were bobaristas) because we were talking about Cafe AU but haikyuu and then I was like wait I got a fic idea bro and then I was like “Cafe AU but make it boba”

also I ended up having a huge boba craving the past few days because of this but also what's new

i haven't finished making all the character headers yet aekfjhasdfj so that’s why not all the edited characters are on the banner.

anyways i can go on about my thoughts with this but i find I just ramble a lot and this is already... a lot. I hope you guys are as excited as I am to share this!

OH DISCLAIMER: I’m not associated with any of the shops I bring up in the fics because i get no money for advertising them u__u LOL (sorry i think im funnyyyy)

[christinaroseandrews]

As I was scrolling through the dumpster fire, I came across your review for 'Born to be Bound'. I loved it! It was an absolute delight to read with some of the best burns I've seen in a long while. If I had the funds to purchase books, I now know to not buy that particular one. Thank you for suffering through the incessant, hoity-toity babble to warn the rest of us.

I get by on limited income, books are a luxury I can rarely afford. Fanfiction fills my need to read and consume written stories. And now I can't unsee the asexual erasure in the A/B/O tag on Ao3. I'm moderately pissed off at myself now.

I'm a disgruntled fanfiction writer. I will do what I do best. Say, "I can fix that." Then write it into existence. I'm going to add an asexual Alpha/Omega couple to my current A/B/O fanfic. I'll use a popular ship that is a minor background pairing.

On a related note, how do you keep your sanity alive reading badly written books for a living? Are magical abilities granted to editors? Like, does some higher power descend upon you saying, 'Congrats! You're strong to survive the trials of terrible wording inflicted upon the English language. Take this level up and go forth!' ?

Hi!  I’m glad you messaged me. Nice to meet you!

Awww! I’m blushing from your praise. That was only for chapter 1 and there are 10 chapters in this, so I’ve got a lot more to go through. I’m hopeful it will get better. 

I really understand not being able to buy books. That’s pretty much me all the time. LOL I’m a disabled, chronically ill person who can’t work a regular 9-5 job so I do other stuff to pay the bills. There’s a few ways to be able to read original fiction for free. The first is that a lot of authors will offer books for free as reader magnets. The second is that publishers of all stripes will send out ARCs of books to people with the understanding/hope that they will review the book. This is how I get most of my more recent releases. Finally there is reading from the library. I’ve been utilizing both Overdrive and Hoopla. And fanfiction is a wonderful thing. A precious thing. I am 100% here for fanfic, especially since I still write it myself. LOL

Don’t be pissed off that you missed the lack of ace rep on the tag. Be proud of yourself that when it was pointed out your first thought was “How can i fix this?” Because that speaks volumes about you as a person. And you’re a good doobie. I think it’s awesome that you’re going to add more asexual rep to the ABO tag. We need that. There are not nearly enough characters on the Ace spectrum and it really runs the gambit. I’m a demiromantic/bisexual myself. There needs to be more Ace rep out there. Good on you!

So you want to know how I keep my sanity when reading bad books?

So here’s the thing, most of the books I edit aren’t badly written. They really aren’t. Even those that if they were published in the form I got them in would be called “badly written” have potential. They’re unpolished. They have flaws. They need work. And it’s my job to help the author get their book into the best shape that I can.

Also most books, even Addison Cain’s Born to Be Bound have something good about them. Something. And one person’s yuck is another person’s yum. This book happens to be hitting a lot of my yucks and there’s some structural, logistical, and tonal problems with the book. That being said, I can say that from the one chapter I’ve read I wouldn’t have guessed that the story started its life as a Batman fanfic featuring Bane/Original Female Character. So she filed the serial numbers off well, I guess.

The other thing that keeps me sane is a philosophy I have about editing/life. No effort is wasted if you learn something or help someone else to learn. I wanted to be a teacher before I hit some pretty big obstacles and had to switch gears. And in my heart, I still want to help make the world a better place. And if that means that I help others create beauty, then that’s a good legacy for me.

I also have a good support system and invest in self care. That can be reading a good fic, watching something fun, or even playing a game for a little bit. I also don’t edit constantly. I take breaks. Edit for an hour, take a 20 minute break. This keeps me more focused and allows me to not get dragged down. Plus it works better for my disabilities since that’s a thing.

Additionally, I 1000% agree with the maxim that any problem in a book can be fixed in the editing process. It just takes a lot of work and a lot of suppressing of the author’s ego and the author has to be willing to do that. That last one is the toughest, because these books are their babies. Their children. It’s hard to hear that their child isn’t perfect. And editing can feel like an attack if you aren’t used to it. I do a lot of hand holding. I make sure that they know that just because I’ve found something I need to change that it isn’t a reflection on them. The only time it becomes a reflection on the author is when they have been told something is a problem and they choose to ignore that anyway because it doesn’t fit with their vision. I’m a pretty hard core editor. I tend to give it to my clients straight. And I think my clients know that I honestly and truly want them to succeed. Because I do. Honestly, a well-edited successful book is like a huge piece of advertising for me as an editor. Like straight on. I want my clients to succeed because then I’ll succeed. It’s a very symbiotic relationship.

Now there are books that I’ve edited that are absolutely horrible. Books where I’ve gotten them in the copy edit phase and I’ve wondered why the acquisitions and content editors are letting this subject go to press. But in the end, I have to remember what my job is. When that happens, it’s the self-care route again.

But seriously, most books have something good in them. It’s a question of finding it and drawing it out.

[castielslostwings]

All I Want For Christmas (Are Earplugs)

Ficlet: 3k of fluffy, explicit (at the end) Christmas-y DeanCas. 

The challenge: "Write something about Cas being stuck in the gas n sip where "All I Want For Christmas is You" plays on an endless loop for 3 months until he's nearly homicidal 😂 ...and then dean shows up and they bang in the storeroom while it's playing and the song is still awful and plays every 45 minutes but at least Cas has a positive memory to associate with it now!"

Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21656614

Or check out this excerpt (cut because Tumblr will eat my smut):

Corporate doesn’t even hold off until Thanksgiving is over to move onto Christmas, not anymore. In the age of instant gratification and having everything a person could possibly want only a finger swipe away, waiting until after Thanksgiving to break out the Christmas theming would render it all relatively pointless. Thus, the day after Halloween, that’s when it starts these days. Castiel doesn’t get it, not really, especially considering the Gas’n’Sip is, well, a gas station. No one is looking to their shelves for holiday sales and the opportunity to grab this season’s hottest items before they sell out. Not unless one considers snack cakes and travel-sized tubes of toothpaste to be the perfect holiday gifts. Not that Castiel’s judging.

It’s just that those realities make the auditory horror Castiel’s subjected to for nearly three months straight all the more baffling. Why he has to suffer so the Gas’n’Sip can claw uselessly at retail relevance is beyond his understanding. It’s not as if they’re succeeding. That little “Last Minute Gifts!” display doesn’t get any sort of play at all until the twenty-third, and even then people have to grimace their way through choosing between cheap shower product sets and crappy mugs with teddy bears holding chocolates stuffed inside them. By November first, Castiel’s already practicing the most tactful ways to interrupt those poor procrastinating saps and suggest simply buying lottery scratch-off tickets.

The thing is, the decorations aren’t so bad. A little tinsel here, a few red glittery signs there, couple of candy-filled endcaps with Santa theming, whatever. Even the little Christmas tree that sits next to the register and Castiel can’t stop knocking into with his elbow every time he goes to make change is more festive than frustrating. None of those things are particularly bothersome at all. In fact, Castiel barely even notices them (aside from diving to catch the tree and keep it from crashing to the ground every ten minutes). And the twinkling, color-changing string lights that Castiel spent the better part of a day stapling around the top of the store, along the windows, and over the register are actually fairly enjoyable to look at. So much so that he strung a set around the shelves of the storeroom for when he’s stuck back there organizing or doing inventory. Very cheery.

But the songs. The songs are the worst. Well, no, that’s not exactly it either. The holiday songs on the corporate-provided CD that loops endlessly on a forty-five minute spiral in the background definitely still play in Castiel’s head long after he’s dumped the coffee, turned out the lights, and locked the gas station doors. They infiltrate his quiet moments in the evening after he’s returned home, dance across his mind obnoxiously when he should be enjoying his free time away. It’s only the beginning of December and already Castiel’s starting to lose his mind. Last night, full of a spectacular dinner and tucked warm and snug in bed with Dean squirming underneath him, Castiel was screwed out of an actual orgasm by the painfully catchy crooning of Mariah Carey relentlessly belting out those high notes in his head.

Because really, at the end of the day, it’s not all the holiday songs, it’s that holiday song. The bane of retail workers everywhere, Castiel’s sure of it, “All I Want For Christmas Is You” is single-handedly making his holiday season as un-merry as it could possibly get. A grating earworm that’s starting to feel more “nails on a chalkboard” than singing at all, Castiel’s forced to enjoy it on a repeat cycle every forty-two-point-five minutes of every single workday. And now, it’s messing with his off-time, his intimate evenings with Dean, those relax and reset moments that Castiel counts on to get him through the next day and the one after that. Retail is hard enough on a regular old Tuesday, never mind during the holiday season when everyone’s so desperate to squeeze in as much merriment as possible that they’re willing to steamroll right over people like Castiel to do it.

Most of the time, Castiel doesn’t mind being a faceless cog in the machine, hell, he enjoys it some days. There’s a quiet dignity in his job, in providing food and fuel for weary travelers just trying to get from Point A to Point B. Keeping the coffee pot full, the hot dogs warm, the cigarette cartons stacked. Perhaps other people might look down on him for being satisfied with that type of work, that type of life, but Castiel has no interest in what other people think of him. Well, anyone besides Dean, of course. And Dean loves him, is proud of him, and that’s more than enough to make his days, every single one of them, merry and bright.

So it would be Castiel’s preference that he subsists through the rest of the Christmas season without murdering the one man who makes his existence tolerable, and that fucking song is beginning to threaten that theoretically simple wish.

Today, for instance, it’s four in the afternoon and Castiel is working a double. Which means that since the Gas’n’Sip opened its doors at six AM, Mariah Carey’s syrupy-sweet caroling has set his teeth on edge going on fourteen times. Fourteen. Chinese water torture would be kinder. Two hours and two more rounds of the nightmare in G Major later, Castiel texts Nora, his manager, and begs her to let him change the music. “ Just for the today, just for the rest of my shift”, he pleads, even going so far as to say he’ll tune the radio to their local Christmas music station.

Nora sends back, “ LOL, Castiel you’re so funny”, and Castiel dies a little bit inside. Business is slow and the lackluster trickle of customers comes to a stop completely around ten PM, leaving an entire hour for Castiel to count down the minutes to the next time that awful song is going to play without any kind of distraction. When the bells tied to the doors finally jingle signaling a customer around ten forty-five, relief doesn’t even come close to what Castiel feels. That doubles when the face that appears across his countertop is Dean’s.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says warmly, and he’s not exaggerating when he thinks he may never have been happier to see the man. Although, it’s never unpleasant to see Dean.

“I'll have some beef jerky and a pack of menthols,” Dean replies cheekily, leaning across the counter for a kiss which Castiel gladly provides. Not the menthols, though.

“Funny,” he murmurs and then sighs heavily. “Dean, I’m going to lose my mind if I have to put up with this—” Castiel jams his finger in the direction of the ceiling speaker above his head, “ Horror show for another three weeks.”

Dean looks up from where he’s fingering the different flavors of Bubble Yum and slides a pack across the smooth surface, reaching for his wallet to pay. Castiel waves him off, grabs a couple of singles from his own pocket and runs the transaction absently. “It can’t be that bad,” Dean says and Castiel’s fingers halt mid-button-push.

“My ears feel like they’re bleeding, Dean,” he protests with a glare. “Every forty-two-point-five minutes exactly it comes on and I’m in hell.” Clocking Dean’s badly-suppressed smirk, Castiel works his jaw and folds his arms across his chest. “Perhaps I’ll call Bobby and offer him a free month of advertising in the Gas’n’Sip window. All he’ll have to do is play a particular CD on repeat in the auto-repair bay from tomorrow until Christmas.” Satisfied with the way Dean’s face pales and the smirk disappears, Castiel feels absolutely no need to remind him that approving free advertising isn’t remotely in his job description. Honestly, if Dean can’t figure that out from the knowledge that he isn’t so much as allowed to change the store’s chosen music, that’s on him.

“Don’t mess with my classic rock, Cas,” Dean warns him. “Some shit is sacred, you know.” Annoyed again, Castiel raises his hands and gestures around him emphatically. “Alright, alright,” Dean relents. “I see your point, it sucks.” Sucking his lip distractedly in between his teeth, Dean glances around the store. “So, where are your security cameras at?”

Rolling his eyes, Castiel points to several different corners and just above his head behind the register. “There, there, there, and there. Don’t you think if I could have moved them, I would have? Changing their direction sends a notification straight to Nora’s phone.”

“That’s not what I—what about the storeroom? There any cameras there?”

Castiel narrows his eyes and regards Dean curiously. “No… There was one, but it broke weeks ago and Corporate hasn’t yet responded to Nora’s service request.” With a mild hum and another glance around that includes a sweep of the deserted parking lot outside, Dean wanders over to the doors and locks them. “Dean?” Castiel doesn’t protest, just watches as Dean flips the sign that says, “Back in 5 minutes!” Castiel rarely uses it himself, but every so often nature calls and the store has to be locked in the meantime. It’s interesting that Dean remembers that.

“C’mon,” is all Dean says on his pass back through the store, reaching out to grab Castiel’s arm and tug him out from his little alcove and across the floor to the storeroom.

“Dean, what—”

“How long until that song plays again?” Dean asks as he pulls Castiel inside and shuts the door behind them.

Checking his watch, Castiel does some quick mental math as well as cocks his head to listen for whatever song is playing now. “It’s next,” he groans, but Dean just grins.

“Awesome timing,” he replies, grabbing Castiel’s waist and manhandling him around until his back is up against some stable-looking shelving. “We’re gonna play a game, alright?” Dean’s bright green eyes are sparkling and shining and Castiel definitely knows that face. He also knows he should stop him, should tell Dean no to whatever mischievous thing he’s plotting, but it is only minutes to closing time and hell, Castiel’s day has been pure, undiluted shit.

“What sort of game?” Castiel asks, unable to keep the note of amusement out of his voice as he watches Dean’s eyes dart down to his own lips. Without answering, Dean leans in, kisses Castiel’s bottom lip and then his top, pulls back just far enough to look down and slot their groins together in a way that won’t have anyone’s belts causing unwanted, painful havoc. Then he’s back, tongue poking at the seam of Castiel’s mouth, and despite everything, Castiel recognizes that this is Dean asking for permission. If he really doesn’t want to do this, in his store or at all, he need only close his mouth.

As much as he appreciates the asking, though, Castiel knew what he was getting into when he stepped inside the storeroom. Dean has a bit of an exhibitionist side, and this isn’t their first rodeo in a semi-public space. Though the likelihood of being walked in on is extremely low, there’s still a bit of a thrill Castiel gets over doing something naughty, and maybe he’s more into it than he lets on. The whole concept has him hardening up nicely and Dean’s grinding isn’t hurting either, but just as they’re setting a pretty nice pace, the first notes of The Song come on.

Growling into Dean’s mouth, Castiel reluctantly pushes him back. “I can’t,” he says, frustrated. “I don’t want to associate having sex with you with this demonic lullaby.”

Read the rest on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21656614

[best-science-dad-tony]

Are you all still active? And do you accept oc rp accounts or only canon based ones?

((Oh boy.

So here’s the thing...I’m probably not going to give these blogs quite the attention I did in the beginning, and I should explain why because you all deserve that.

At first, I didn’t think these things would go anywhere. I figured they’d be fun to play around with, banter, get some jokes in and see a few likes, maybe a reblog or two. But then they started gaining traction, and before I knew it, people were invested in my silly little accounts.

I wrote down a quick sketch of a plot and some ground rules for myself, rules that I intended to follow. I essentially wrote a post-Endgame story before Endgame after I saw Infinity War incorporating the elements I wanted to see in the next movie. At the time I was one person. No one was helping me. I knew I wanted to tell a story you all could participate in and enjoy, and to do that I thought it was best if I laid out a groundwork for myself on ways to do that. Things like resolving to answer every Ask, even if it was just to warn the person to stop what they were doing. To adopt every kid (at first that wasn’t on Anon but then I gave in). To give you guys Milestone rewards as thank yous, because even when I just hit fifty subscribers on Tony’s blog, I was ecstatic and appreciated you all so much, and felt like you deserved something so I could show you my gratitude. Unfortunately, before they went up...someone forced me to use one I wasn’t expecting. Literally right after I had made the rule for myself.

I told myself that if anyone found an Infinity Stone, it would be the one Tony had.

The Soul Stone.

I needed the Soul Stone for the plot to work, but I needed Tony to have a safety precaution around it too since Thanos was (is?) still alive. I told myself that if someone found out Tony had the Stone and wasn’t supposed to, he would have a way to protect it. So I had to use the solution I gave him: FRIDAY sending the Stone to an unknown planet with one of the Iron Man suits and promptly wiping her databanks of its location so Thanos or anyone else would be unable to find it. 

So someone found an Infinity Stone...and it was just...gone. Before I’d figured out how Tony would get it back.

My fellow Admins all know this. I can’t begin to tell you how many discussions I’ve had with them trying to write myself out of this hole. Usually, I’m pretty good at getting characters out of seemingly impossible situations...but I haven’t come up with anything that feels believable, that I feel like justifies the plot I have in mind or really respects the characters and who they are.

Normally I would have just gotten rid of the plot point of the Soul Stone being lost completely...but this isn’t an unfinished chapter in my Google Docs. It already happened. I can’t change it.

I don’t know if you guys have read Mercy by Stephen King or watched the movie, but it makes an excellent point that I strongly agree with:

Annie Wilkes : When I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favourite thing in the whole world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the Chapter Plays.

Paul Sheldon : [nodding]  Cliffhangers.

Annie Wilkes : [shouting]  I know that, Mr. Man! They also called them serials. I'm not stupid ya know... Anyway, my favourite was Rocketman, and once it was a no breaks chapter. The bad guy stuck him in a car on a mountain road and knocked him out and welded the door shut and tore out the brakes and started him to his death, and he woke up and tried to steer and tried to get out but the car went off a cliff before he could escape! And it crashed and burned and I was so upset and excited, and the next week, you better believe I was first in line. And they always start with the end of the last week. And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting. This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair! HE DID'NT GET OUT OF THE COCK - A - DOODIE CAR!

Paul Sheldon : [long pause]  They always cheated like that in cl... chapter plays.

I don’t want to cheat you all. As arrogant as it might sound, I think I’m a better writer than that. And you all certainly deserve better than that.

When I went to see Endgame (in full Tony Stark cosplay, might I add), I hoped to find inspiration to continue. And let’s just say that ending killed a part of me and I’m still dealing with nightmares and panic attacks over it. My mom asked me if I wanted an Avengers cake for my 22nd birthday and I burst into tears. I just...I can’t handle it right now.

But I recently got my inspiration back for this plot. I remembered how much I loved my ideas, the little timeline I had laid out for myself. I remembered how much fun it was for Tony and Stephen to interact with their kids, for Thor and Loki to talk to Midgardians. I remembered how much fun it was to use obscure ships. And I want to do it. For those reasons, I want to come back to it. I want to see that plot through to the end of the line, whatever that may be.

So I’ve added some elements, and I’ve decided to go in with firmer rules than I had at the beginning, where I would let anyone tell Tony and Stephen “yeah, so...I’ve been stabbed, ‘sup with you guys lol”.

The catch is...it won’t be on these blogs.

It would mean going through everything on them and pretending it didn’t happen, which hardly seems fair, especially when so many people still like and reblog some of my more popular posts. It doesn’t seem fair to just throw all of that away.

Like I said, I don’t want to cheat you, and doing that feels like cheating to me.

So instead I’m starting over. I’m in the process of setting up new blogs, a new Discord server, and I’m working with my Admins to put these new blogs into place.

The other big twist is...I won’t be advertising them here.

I don’t want you all to think I don’t value and appreciate all your kindness and support.

But I don’t want you all to join those new blogs just because I made a joke on Bucky’s account (in this set of blogs) that you liked. I want you to join because you’re invested, because you enjoy the interactions, because you like my writing for what it is and not just because it’s me typing it. It’s the same reason I have a separate AO3 account I never share.

I feel proud when people come to these blogs and see Tony confronting Steve and find out I was writing both of them, not bouncing off a fellow Admin.

I hope I don’t sound ungrateful. I’m swear not. But I want the new blogs to earn their following just like these did. You all saw something in these blogs, whether it was a joke, some advice; something that meant something to you. Maybe you saw family. Maybe you saw a friend. I don’t know. But I sincerely hope that whatever it was, I earned that follow from you. That I earned those likes and reblogs of my own volition.

All I ask of you is if you want to see where these new blogs will go, if you want to follow them, if you find them, please, don’t spoil what will happen for any newcomers who join the ranks. Certain plotpoints will carry over. I want any new fans to be as invested and surprised as you were.

Maybe one day I’ll tell you where the plot moved if you can’t find it and you want to know the big picture. Maybe you’ll just unfollow me or ignore the fact that I’m working on something else.

But I’m not going to just up and abandon these blogs. For a long time, they meant something to me, and at least to some of you. They’ll stay up, and I’ll answer your asks and engage with you. I can’t speak for the other Admins. But with me, you’ll always have someone to message, even if I take forever. But no more nitty-gritty plot. We’ll say Thanos got tired of holding Quill prisoner and fucked off somewhere. These blogs are now just for lighthearted family fun.

This is a long-winded rant to say that yes, I am still active in some ways, and I’m not in others.

As for OC accounts, they have always been welcome, but they don’t get put on the Masterlist or get OC-centric plots. Just be sure to follow certain rules- like Tony having no biological children.

I’m sorry for the rant.

TL;DR: I’m making new blogs to write this plot as I originally intended, but these will stay up and you can message them (at least mine). Also, OCs are cool and always welcome. ~Admin Chara))

[theymetinthetoihlet]

Just need to write down my opinions on the songs and how they make me feel. Again,it is just MY personal opinion.I am not saying this is what they are actually about.There is no way of knowing that. Harry said it himself:he doesn’t explain songs because he wants people to interpret music their own way.

Golden:I read it as a song about grief. In my opinion,it is like the aftermath of what is described in ESNY. When you get bad news,you initially feel empty and like there’s no antidote for that sorrow. Then you feel heartbroken and helpless because what can you do when something bad happens? But then someone,someone golden,helps you. They take control of the situation even though they’re scared to see you that broken and open and vulnerable. And you find that antidote you were looking for in loving that person. The melody is everything. The way he sings “You’re so golden”!! It really is that song I’d be listening to on my way back from the beach with the windows of my car down and the sunset as background.

Watermelon sugar:In my opinion,it is about this person who makes you feel warm even if it’s cold outside. They’re the end of June,they taste like strawberries,they give you that watermelon sugar high you don’t want to go without. You want to keep tasting it because how can you go without that summer feeling once you’ve got a taste? It’s the song I’ll dance to the most probably. Even if I’m sweeping,I’ll grab the broom and start dancing if it comes on shuffle. It is THAT BITCH.

Adore you:When you don’t need any more reassurances.When you’re sure of what you have.When all has been said and done. The only thing left to do is adore this person you’d walk through fire for and whose eyes you get lost into. I personally think that adoring someone is the ultimate form of love. I come from a catholic environment and the term adore is usually linked to the worship of a “greater being”. How much do you have to love someone to get to the point of adoration? Its sound is so great!

Lights up:I’ve already shared my opinion on this one when it was first released. I still think it is about fame and the struggle between who you are and who you should be when you are someone who lives under the spotlights.

Cherry:Sorry but lyrically I cannot see it as more than a stunt song. He has an album full of metaphorical lyrics and then you have this song where you can suddenly see what/who it is about?which is made even more obvious by the added voicemail?Okay. I bet the new person the subject of this song is in a relationship with,is very please to know that their so gave the permission to use their voice in a song like this lol Anyway the melody is so soothing.LIKE! I didn’t expect that at all but I like it!

Falling:It is one of those songs which make me feel sad even if I’m not. I read it as that feeling you have when you’re feeling down and you think that you’re not enough especially for the people you love the most. You start questioning yourself. You start regretting the stuff you said when you weren’t in the right mind to say things. You start thinking about all the what ifs. The melody would make me cry even without the lyrics. And his voice!!! I relate to this song a great deal especially when he sings the chorus. One of my favourites!

To be so lonely:It’s like when you mess up (maybe because of jealousy?)and you know it but you can’t admit it so your person kind of takes a step back. It is easier when you’re out and about but then you come home and feel all the loneliness. In the end you say sorry though because missing your person wins over you being an arrogant son of a bitch (his words not mine 🤷🏻‍♀️). I read the lyrics between the album came out but I’d never imagine for the melody to be LIKE THAT! Wow I can picture myself to listen to this song while lying on a straw bed in the countryside!

She:A man who has kids,an office job and a boat. A man who sometimes imagines to sail away but what would he tell the others,his mates? A man who plays pretend because at the back of his mind there always this “she” which I think represents his true self but he doesn’t know neither where or who “she” is. “She” is the other part of the “we” he sings about in Fine Line,in my opinion. I’ve has the chorus stuck in my head since I first heard it! The sound is soo good.It is a JAM.

Sunflower,vol. 6:In my opinion,it’s like seeing someone you love going through a hard time and wanting to get inside their head to see what they’re thinking about so that you can try and help them. It’s you telling them to plant new seeds but keeping the memory of what went lost at the same time. It’s you loving them more and more and more. The sweetness of calling your lover sunflower... I also have some thoughts about the “volume 6” but I think I’ll keep ‘em to myself. The sound is so good! You can’t help but bop to it! And what even is that end! I love it!

Canyon Moon:I‘m trying to keep this as generic as possible but this song is literally about Harry missing Louis during his tour. I think that “The world’s happy waiting” refers to the people all around the world waiting for him to go to their cities and perform. “I’ll be gone too long from you” hello?? “Two weeks and I’ll be home” HELLO?? I think “Canyon Moon” is a metaphor for the places and the moments they’ve been together and happy that he keeps thinking about when he misses Home too much. Harry said country music rights with this one! Sooo good! Is he the one whistling though?

Treat People With Kindness:I think this is about tour. It’s about how free and accepted he felt. And it is not just for him. It is for all the people who felt the same. If you treat people with kindness and they do the same to you,you can create a good space where you are free to dance around and feel good. This is so much fun! The chorus would have made a good advertisement jingle in the 90s. He’s going to have so much fun performing it. I think it is the Kiwi of Fine Line when it comes down to the live performance. I can’t wait to see his dance moves 💃🏻

Fine Line:Okay so the first time I read the lyrics of this one,I thought it was a song about a relationship. Then I read the lyrics again and...I kind of think this is a conversation between two sides of the same person? The two sides being the masculine and feminine sides,in my opinion. It’s like you’ve struggled to get to know and accept that other part of yourself. In the end you succeed by “spreading it open” and finding that balance that helps the two sides co-exist and you (we) will be alright. Of course,you will 💚 I don’t know I guess it could be about both. Or neither. I really like this one and the melody is so soothing. Like I’m going to play it every night before bed so that I can relax. I can almost see him performing it while sitting on a stool with just a light beam on him.

This is my take on the album. I’m really happy to have new music from Harry. I really liked HS1 but I think I like Fine Line more. They’re very different sound wise and I think he made this album by focusing more on the melodies than the lyrics maybe because he was thinking about how the songs could work while being played live on tour. Once,Harry said that the amazing thing about music is that there is a song for every emotion and that’s what I feel while listening to his album(s). There is a song for feeling:feeling sad,feeling happy and accepted,feeling loved and taken care of,feeling conscious of yourself,feeling secure of what you have with your person. And there is a different sound for each of those feelings.m which is what I like the most about this album. There is not even one song I’m going to skip! I’m glad he had fun while making this new album.You can feel it. I hope he’s proud of himself as much as I (and many more of us) am of him.

[havenoffandoms]

Chuckleheads in Love

Pairing: Destiel

Requested by @very-anxious-ottter

Prompt: Destiel Coffee Shop AU, but instead of one being a barista and the other a customer, both are baristas in training trying to get the one position left open...

I tried something here... added my own little twist to it. Hope you like it anyway. Bare with me if it’s horrible lol. I had fun writing it though, and I hope you have just as much fun reading it. 

In the twelve years Gabriel had owned his own business, he had seen many a chucklehead pass the doors of his Wonderful Coffee Emporium, the most exclusive (and expensive) coffee shop in Lawrence, Kansas. He had had his share of rude, and downright arrogant customers. That was just something he had grown accustomed to over the years, and Gabriel fully expected his employees to be thick-skinned when working in his Emporium. The customers had ceased to be Gabriel’s problem a long time ago.

Employees. Them bunch could be a right nightmare to deal with. Recently, Gabriel had to get rid of his best barista because the dude could not keep it in his pants. The guy had knocked up one of Gabriel’s best client’s daughter… who had understandably not been very happy to his perfect angel girl turn into a potential future ‘Teen Mom’ participant. Very bad for the family name, you understand. Gabriel could not afford to lose this particular client – who also acted as a supplier of one of his best coffee brands – and therefore, sacrifices had to be made. Gabriel had only reluctantly agreed to let his barista go. He had been the best in the state, and replacing his expertise would be a challenge. And probably a very expensive one at that, too.

This was how Gabriel ended up advertising a barista position online and in the newspapers. He had interviewed around thirty candidates. He had only invited two back for a second meeting. Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester, both young, eager to please and ambitious. They were the raw clay Gabriel could mould into the perfect employee. The only issue was, they were both really, tremendously good. Their portfolio had been varied, professional and elegant. Gabriel would be judging their technical skills during a live ‘stand-off’. Exciting, right?

Gabriel went to greet the two candidates before his Emporium at seven am sharp. The shop opened at eight. They had one hour to convince him that one of them was fit for the job, and worth investing in. In a grandiose and dramatic way, Gabriel pulled the doors to his shop open and grinned widely at the two young men standing awkwardly a few feet away from each other, avoiding eye-contact.

“Hello, boys” Gabriel greeted them, stepping outside and letting the doors swing shut behind him, “my name is Gabriel and I own the Wonderful Coffee Emporium. This…” the blonde motioned to the building behind him, “is my little baby. I want what’s best for it, and that includes the most skilful employees. A brand like this one takes work. And like they say, the devil is in the details. Now… you both have what it takes, but only one of you will get the job. Good luck”

Gabriel invited the two candidates in, and went to sit at a nearby table. The taller man, whom the owner recognised as Dean Winchester, stood with his hands deep in his black chino pockets. He would have to neaten up his presentation, but those were details. Meanwhile the other young man, Castiel, was seemingly doing his very best to look everywhere but at Gabriel. Not ideal when dealing with clients, but again, easily rectified.

“Your first task… make me a large Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato, Sugar Free Syrup, Extra Shot, Light Ice, no Whip” Gabriel grinned impishly when he noticed the confused and lost expressions on the two young men’s faces. “Come on, chop chop”

Castiel and Dean exchanged a worried look, but soon enough Dean nodded to himself and went behind the counter to get to work. Castiel soon followed, visibly trying to steer clear from Dean. Gabriel had deliberately left out instructions such as where to find the tall glasses or how to use the coffee machines. A good employee needed to cope well with stress and be adaptable. He watched carefully as the two men got to work. Every now and again, he would notice one of them glance briefly at the other. However, there was no malice or competitiveness in their eyes. In fact, they were furtive glances, almost apologetic ones. Odd. As far as Gabriel knew, the two men did not know each other. It did not take the two boys long to bring Gabriel his order. Unsurprisingly, despite the complexity of his order, the coffees were both perfect.

“Very good. Now, Dean… what could you have done better?” Gabriel asked. The green-eyed man cleared his throat, taking a moment to think of an answer.

“Well… I suppose I could have done better with the presentation. I mean… Cas is better with that kind of stuff, anyway” Dean admitted, blushing ever so slightly. Gabriel raised one eyebrow and noticed out of the corner of his eyes the smaller man glare at his counterpart. Alright. Curiouser and curiouser.

“Indeed, Castiel I really like what you did with the foam. Do you usually draw little pictures in your coffees?”

“I do, sir. Where I work now, it’s become my main duty”

“Very impressive” Gabriel granted, “although I have to say, the flavour is more present in Dean’s realisation. Maybe sometimes you should focus more on the taste and less on the presentation. Clients can’t taste foam-art”

“To be fair, sir, presentation is what distinguishes a good coffee from a great one” Dean piped up defensively, which earned himself another glare. Gabriel was not sure what exactly was going on, but he knew that something about the situation was off. Those boys knew each other, that was certain. What the circumstances were, that the owner of the Emporium vowed to figure out.

“Alright, your next job. Make me a tall non-fat latte, two percent foam. Do not be fooled by the simplicity of the order, though…” Gabriel advised, raising a warning finger. While Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Dean once again immediately set to work. The smaller man’s actions looked more hesitant. Gabriel noticed with surprise how Dean discreetly – or so he thought – whispered the instructions in Castiel’s ear as he moved back and forth between his coffee machine and the dishware rack. While the smaller man did his best to pretend he was not paying attention to his counterpart, Gabriel noticed the increase in confidence in Castiel’s actions. Again, the two men brought him their concoctions and Gabriel tasted both of them.

“I can see a trope here. Again, Dean yours tastes smoother, but Castiel your presentation is just beautiful…”

“Thank you, sir” The blue-eyed man blushed delicately at the back-handed compliment, while the faintest of proud smiles grew on Dean’s lips. For some reason, Gabriel was convinced that the taller man was happier about Castiel getting recognition than his own accomplishment.

“I’ll need several minutes to make a decision” Gabriel declared, standing up from his seat, “you guys enjoy your own creations. Feel free to grab something to eat, there’s sweet bites next the bar”

Gabriel vanished into the kitchen with only one intention in mind; spy on the two peculiar candidates. As soon as he was out of sight, he noticed Dean lean over so his head rested on Castiel’s shoulder. From where he stood, Gabriel could make out the taller man batting his eyelashes flirtatiously. The owner of the Emporium could make out the faint voices as he picked up bits and pieces of their conversation.

“I’m still mad at you” Cas snapped at Dean, moving away from the other man, “and I don’t care how much you compliment me, I’m downright pissed”

“C’mon, babe” Dean moaned, remorse lacing his tone, “I said I was sorry”

“Working for this place was always my dream, Dean. You had no right to apply for the position” Castiel accused, turning his back on the other man. Gabriel wondered why he paid good money for a TV package when he could have hired those two cuckoos earlier and get his daily dose of soap operas for free.

“Hang on, this is a free country. I couldn’t pass the opportunity… Besides, you know Balthazar wants to make you manager of his coffee shop one day… I don’t understand why you’re so insistent on leaving” Dean defended himself. Gabriel recognised the name Balthazar… not exactly a rival, mind you. His concept was different, more family-orientated, which meant that the clientele Gabriel did not bother targeting had somewhere else to go where they could enjoy a nice coffee. And Gabriel knew it was good quality coffee… he had tasted it himself a while ago.

“Dean, that’s not the point…” Castiel sighed.

“What is it, then? Honestly dude… Balthazar let me go, I should be the one complaining that you’re here”

“How dare you…” Cas guffawed indignantly. Dean merely raised his hands in surrender.

“Babe, I’m just saying. We need both our wages if we want to keep the apartment. And you have a good job waiting for you when Balthazar retires. Why are you so mad that I applied for this job? I only meant well. That guy will pay a shitload… and then I’ll finally be able to get you that ring I’ve been meaning to buy you for ages now…”

Castiel looked at the other man, his expression softening considerably when his blue eyes met Dean’s green ones. The smaller man sighed in defeat, cracking an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. I guess I needed to prove to myself – and to you – that I could do this. I know I’m not the best barista, and today proves this. I guess I should be grateful that Balthazar still allows me to work for him”

Gabriel noticed fondly how Dean interlaced his fingers with Castiel’s. Those two were adorable, they really were. Dean closed the distance between himself and his lover and sealed their lips with a tender kiss. A shit eating grin illuminated Castiel’s features, an embarrassed giggle escaping him.

“Dean, stop. Your boss will be back anytime now”

“Who says he’s gonna pick me?” Dean asked, peppering Castiel’s face with kisses. Disgustingly sweet was never an expression Gabriel thought he would ever have to use, but it was fitting to the scene unfolding before his eyes.

“Because even if he picked me, I would not take the job. You’re right, you have a right to this position, too. And I think you’ll love it here”

“You’re sure, babe?” came the uncertain question. Castiel nodded, smiling reassuringly and gently cupping Dean’s face.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m sorry for being such an assbutt”

“You’re my favourite assbutt, though” Dean countered, kissing his lover once again. Gabriel shook his head, slightly amused by the men’s silliness, however the two of them had their hearts in the right place. Walking back to the table, Gabriel braced himself to announce who would be joining his team. Castiel and Dean both tensed up as they saw him return.

“Well, Dean congratulations, you’re in” Gabriel announced loudly, a wide grin on his face, “but before you start thanking me and all that, let me tell you guys something. The key to a successful partnership is communication. Even a team of the most talented employees in the world would be worthless if they didn’t talk to each other. You guys should keep that in mind for the future” Gabriel then locked eyes with Castiel, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Castiel, son… you’re talented, and you have this je-ne-sais-quoi that is comforting and loving. I’m sure there’s no better person to take over Balthazar’s business than you. I will have no regret sending you back there, because I know your skills will be put to good use there”

Dean and Castiel shared knowing looks, and both men had the decency to blush when they realised that Gabriel had heard the entirety of their conversation. The two of them shuffled awkwardly from side to side, avoiding eye-contact once again. Gabriel merely rolled his eyes.

Chuckleheads, Gabriel thought to himself.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Denmark to Eurovision with a cute multilingual jingle

Dansk Melodi Grand Prix is... a NF I don’t really have anything to say about. Like, you expect me to rile up 3 big paragraphs about the pre-NF dramas and what-not, but honestly... what’s the point.

Well, aside from the fact people did not really get excited over the lineup this year. Me neither from the names alone, actually. Even last year was more interesting to look at despite with another lineup of songs you can’t give a fuck about and then move on - I noticed they had Sannie who used to be known as Whigfield (”Saturday Night” <3333 the duck quacks <333), Ditte Marie (anyone remembers “Overflow” from 2012?) and Albin Fredy (which seems to be the same Albin that brought me my one of the two DMGP 2013 favourite songs, “Beautiful to Me”???). This year was a big “WHO IS SHE?? WHERE DID YOU FIND HER???”, so I just left DMGP in the corner where it picked cobwebs until not too long ago when someone got chosen.

Well, this NF keeps being a NF where I don’t personally feel too emotionally fucked about any of them entries, so that’s a big plus in my book, which will mean that I won’t throw a “THIS WAS ROBBED!!!1″ post on Denmark NF-wise... at least this year and the last year because I really loved “Venter” in 2012 and the said “Beautiful to Me” and “Invincible” in 2013 (I also liked “Only Teardrops” but I was mad its victory was so obvious xD). As for why I like it when the NFs don’t toy with my feelings, A Dal 2019 is an obvious demonstration, but more on that on my Hungarian writeup, which is significantly longer than this one - that’s how much of a demonstration it is.

Anyway, let’s talk about the chosen song, shall we? Performed by a smol skater girlie Leonora (Jepsen), here comes “Love Is Forever”, which was co-penned by the ever-so-notorious Lise Cabble - the champ-mastress of writing Eurovision songs for the Danes (by that I mean she wrote their 1995 entry... and then none of her entries got chosen for ESC until 2011 lol). And this is a significally softer turn of hers compared to “Only Teardrops” - ever since Anna Ritsmar in 2018′s DMGP, she tends to write cute, acoustic tunes sung by young ladies with their lil cute and lil crispy voices. “Love Is Forever” is just that, tbh.

Well THAT and also it sounds like a lovely acoustic background song for those funny photos/student quotes/test answers/etc. compilation videos on Youtube (I actually am talking about the channel Scoop, because other kinds of compilation videos use Youtube Audio Library-like pop songs or something straight off NoCopyrightSounds). Or the theme song for a TV programme for animals. Or the theme song for a children's programme they show at hospitals. There's so many places you can insert it into, I guess. At the same time it feels like a cupcake with pink frosting that tastes nice. And a cup of warm cocoa with whipped cream and sprinkles. It's a delightful bite. Yum.

Realistically though, the song itself has an easy noddable-along-to rhythm, cute violin string plucks, the capability to melodically progress to sound even more joyful (I mean, the chorus just adds more and more layers of brass as it keeps repreating, just giving it a bit more of a typical Scoop channel background music material), the D flat major key of this song’s uplifts the spirits of this whole shebang and it also somehow includes lines in some more languages than expected in a Danish song ever, how odd it seems like??? And it’s especially given that we haven’t really heard Danish in a song since like what, 1997?? We only got “shout insh’allah” and “taka stökk til hærri jörð, taka” ever since then, and these aren’t remotely Danish lines. But this year we’re getting some Danish, and French, and even German. Feeling the love in multilingual. L’amour est pour toujours, y’all! Liebe IST für alle da!

There are also people that aren’t buying into the song all that much because Leonora looks way too creepy to sell a song about love love peace peace, like someone emerging out of a demented cabaret. I suppose that other people think that this song was forced onto Leonora when she didn’t really want it, and now has to pretend that we have to spread love to the world, make friendships with others, don’t get too political, and then act all supercool about it. The saddest bit that she does sound like that person that would sing a song like that... young, with a passion for skating, looks like a person that could probably hug you when you least expect it, the one that posts light purple sweater pictures with a glitter effect applied to them on Tumblr, the one who would wear white mittens with a giant red snowflake painted on/knitted into them... I don’t know if that’s all Leonora wanted to compete with in DMGP to make a breakthrough with her singing career after skating so darn much, and if she even believes in what is she singing (this is my rare reminder of the war situation in Israel that’s going on, and I’ll probably never have to speak of this again in any writeup, hopefully. Yeah sure, love is for ever...), but I somehow buy it, sue me. Those acoustics and that touch of brass instruments won me over.

So my final thoughts on this song is that it’s a joyball with that kind of song message so overused I cannot be angry on it because it’s not slapped on a dreary Russian peace ballad - it’s a singer-songwriter-esque small showtune, which makes it all seem a lot different because love is cute and this song is cute. So I guess I have no issues with it, whereas I can’t stand the aforementioned Russian peace ballads all that much because if you remove the good singers singing it, they’re cliché af; “Wars for Nothing” (Hungary 2015) sounded too innocent while having a full gun tree serving as a backdrop for them and if you looked too much into Boggie’s eyes, you could very well feel her penetrating your soul with war imagery; and Iceland last year was a knock-off Russian peace ballad that sounded too good to be unbearably dreary and the vocalist wasn’t even a belting girl. So yeah, I like it. More adorable songs about spreading love, less overdone ballads about world peace.

Thing is though, why did she really dress like a barista from a late-night-open cocktail club? I get that looking like a princess à la Maria Olafs won't cut it anymore as it would look way more saccharine, but Leonora is up like she's there to serve you your damn drink as soon as possible so she could go outside for a small smoke break, not to advertise love. Watch me make "when you have Eurovision at 9 and job at a cocktail bar at 11" memes on the night of the 16th. Seriously, her image barely even fucking suits the song!

Approval factor: Well, one of my faves won DMGP again, for the 2nd time in a row, so why wouldn’t I approve? ^_^ Love from me is forever!

Follow-up factor: For Denmark it kind of seems like a decent follow-up? For all those out here that remember Denmark as the nation that plagiarises every other entry, it would just seem logical for them to finally send a generic royalty free ukulele song for Youtube videos. Which is spectacular! No one knows which song did this one exactly plagiarize - the entire concept was ripped off! Jokes aside, it’s an interesting one after Rasmussen. After a song that urges you to lay your weapons down in a war and go find higher ground more peacefully, we’re now getting a morale on the fact that love is for ever and everyone. Isn’t it sweet. I’d rather these than a bland love song about laying down armours and guns. ^_^

Qualification factor: depends. For now I feel like writing it off because to the 1% of the people who’ve already heard this song beforehand and hate this song, the whole thing feels like “love :) is :) forever :) please love everyone you little shit :) :) :)”. To some others however, like Luke Malam from ESCXtra, it’s a song that definitely makes them feel the love being forever, just like “yaaaay we love each other and the world yaaaay!!! ^o^”, so it’s perhaps a bit of a mixed bag. I wanna see it through though, just as much as I want to see Lithuania, about which I will be talking next in these write-ups. But I see it very much so as a borderline because... idk, just a gut feeling. Sometimes songs that ooze loveliness just don’t quite get themselves across the other hand side of the viewer thus they don’t really qualify, for example, Finland 2012, another song sung by a lady better known as a sportswoman rather than a singer (but maybe that’s just because there was too much intimacy of hers with her and her celloist’s mom, and she looked too awkward to pass the intimacy to the viewers so they too could feel the loving bond and the life metaphors coming from a Finnish entrant singing in Swedish). For now from me it’s a positive borderline. Yes, I think that it probably will make it and we’ll see that large Ikea chair prop with many people swaying to the rhythm on it next to Leonora on Saturday as well.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Even with me not having much to say about DMGP, I will go ahead and cherrypick the favourite songs from the event:

• The big favourite of mine this year was brought by Julie & Nina, who served a bilingual schlager-like midtempo track, “League of Light”. Hats off to sounding properly Eurovision-y but without using a “rent-a-NF-songwriter” songwriter for to write this! It’s soaring, majestic, somewhat memorable and inclused Greenlandic. Yeah. Do you believe that this would have been a year where we could’ve gotten more exotic Language spins? Now we have lost both Aboriginal and Greenlandic out of Eurovision, hopefully just for this year so the languages can return again sometime. I’m proud of these women being so courageous and delighting some that really wanted schlager pop that still can click with some that are bored of Eurovision NF schlager cliches. Oh and this song is in A flat minor, probably one of my favourite keys in music. Not too bad, everything this was, although the aggression they transmitted through the song during their live DMGP performance kiiiiinda made them looked like pissed-off housewives imo?

• Them both and this guy below, Sigmund, were picked to the superfinal to compete against Leonora. What was Sigmund’s contribution and why did he deserve to be there so much? Well, I really love his colourful flamboyant electropop track that has piano influences, “Say My Name”, which lyrically reflects on the song’s protagonists big power that he will probably have if only the invisible force Sigmund’s singing to would just “say [his] name”. And I definitely think he deserved his spot over some really nice pop entries that the fandom definitely overrated. Oh and the song is in A flat minor too. Maybe I’m biased, maybe I’m not. You judge. >:)

• See, I don't feel like talking about the DMGP songs this year. It's a cool bunch of songs that some of them I like but nothing quite outstanding to talk about beyond those I already have paragraphs for. Well maybe you'd like to look up the entries by Humorekspressen (for to get a pub singalong song) and Jasmine Gabay (for to get yet another Latino-influenced Havana club track). But that's it. Here from me the last one you'll be getting is Simone Emilie with her teen-flavoured light radiofriendly dance-ish song "Anywhere". Why didn't it do better despite having the power to click with the Eurofans quite much? Well, maybe it's because her backdrop and the fairytale-esque dress went for another kind of atmosphere than it was required to have on the song.

• I don't know, I just find this particular winning reaction shot funny. Not sure if she's yawning or being like "yaaaazs bitchesss ;) 😄 ✨" in here. I gotta say - her lipstick was definitely on fleek that night.

That guy below her takes the cake at making this shot memorable too. Do you want the invisible meal Leonora is about to take a bite of too?

And besides that moment I don’t really have any on-show moments besides songs that were somewhat memorable. Why do Danes always have to be this vanilla in the Nordic country barrage, I will never get. That’s it. That’s their crime. Of being average. And being sued for plagiarism a lot in the past.

For now I’d just wish Leonora good luck in Tel Aviv and show ‘em that love can and will prevail before hatred does, if only people remember to love... ah wait, wrong kind of philosophy.

[punchmedanny]

Chicago II July 25, 2018

Alright strap yourselves in cuz this is gonna be a long ass post WITH SPOILERS for Interactive Introverts. I will mark where spoilers begin if you want to read about pre show stuff. If you don't want any spoilers whatsoever, don't feel obligated to read this even if we're buddies! Feel free to send me an ask/dm instead 😅

Alright folks, let's go!

Playing the Waiting Game

I was supposed to get to the venue at 4 for m&g, but I got there before 3 because a) i'm terrified of being late and b) my uber driver made excellent time.

The venue was not open yet, so my bf and I walked to a nearby mall. We passed by the tour buses (presumably dnp's plus other performers'). There was a group of people hanging around them looking v stalkerish (please don't hang around the buses before the show)

We got back to venue around 3:50 and waited in line outside till 4 when the venue let us in. We were near the middle of the line, so if you want to be closer to the front, get there sooner lol

Turns out I was behind the lovely @noodlephil in line (although I didn’t know till after!)

Two internet friends were meeting for the first time and crying (it was adorable)

Inside, there was a table with staff that checked and marked our tickets then gave us silver paper wristbands

We got in a second line where we had a bag check (our venue allowed sealed water bottles, but that might vary) and were scanned by a wand metal detector. After that, staff scanned our tickets 

We went to a third line which was the actual line for m&g and were told the m&g itself would start around 4:30

Marianne came by and said we would be waiting a bit longer for "latecomers" (im p sure dnp were the latecomers because most people were there at that point haha)

Marianne walked like a frickin goddess and her voice was beautiful

She made a speech giving us a rundown of how m&g would work, which I recorded

The m&g area was set up in the lobby to the side of the theatre doors

Dan and Phil entered from our left (towards the back of the theate)

They jogged across the m&g backdrop where we could see them better and waved. Dan did the cutest bouncy jump ever while waving. He stayed out longer than Phil

There was a table to set your bag on as you approached the backdrop

The music was loud af and there was NO WAY to see or hear other people's m&g - it was v private even though there were tons of people

Marianne was at the very front of the line and asked what she could do to help. I was like uhhh (because I'm eloquent like that) and she asked if we had anything for them to sign. My bf had golf balls lmao and gave them to her. I said I wanted to take a Polaroid for them to sign. She had me turn the camera on because apparently they’d had issues with Polaroid cameras in the past

I thanked her for the way everything was being run and joked a bit while we waited

When it was our turn, the people in front of us were completely gone (I repeat: v private). Marianne gestured and verbally told us to go on in

Meeting Dan and Phil

Phil was wearing his red jacket and good vibes t-shirt just like the beginning of "week in the life" He welcomed us with open arms and I went in for the Phil Hug. Wow. Phil is an excellent hugger and his arms felt a lot stronger than I imagined. And, yes, he waited for me to let go first

As soon as I let go of Phil, I stepped to the side and and looked at Dan. He was wearing his II denim jacket over a white t-shirt. He also had his arms wide for a hug. And lemme tell you, that boi has a fuckin wingspan. Dan gave a more gentle hug than Phil and we let go at like the same time

I am not a hugger and wasnt even 100% sure before I went in that I would hug them tbh

After the hugs, I stepped back and took them both in that's what she said. My initial impression was confidence and class. Literally, the most confident people I've ever encountered irl

Everyone says they're tall, but they are, as my bf said, taller than advertised. He's 6'2 and still looked up to both of them. I feel like they're both close to the next inch up honestly

They are wide. Like we've all noticed the Phil is wide, but Dan is too! They are literal giants

The cameras do NOT do them justice. Phil looks his age irl and I mean that in the sexiest way possible. He does actually have pores and tiny wrinkles (gasp), but I think they only make him more attractive. He oozes understated masculinity. But he also has serious nerd energy and idgaf attitude. Basically, he seems kind of badass

Dan looked flawless. Like I know every so often people wonder about if he wears makeup and all imma say is either he does OR he has the best damn skin care routine and/or genetics ever. He looks like someone after they use a filter

I'd say dan is suave and phil has swagger

(I'm about to sound real fucking weird) They both had such strong auras or energy or whatever you want to call it. It was palpable and BIG - like it extended off of them a couple feet. Dan's felt more static-y, while phil's felt more like balloon about to burst. It merged together between them to where I couldn't tell where one stopped and the other started

Marianne handed Phil the golf balls and he and Dan just stared at them in his hand in confusion for a second then Phil said "golf balls?" before my bf explained it was because they were the caddy lads. They chuckled and Dan said it was "the only series that has any value"

I am now the proud (?) owner of photos and video of phil holding two balls in his hand and I feel really weird about it

Dan asked if I had anything for them to sign, so I told him I wanted to take a Polaroid to which Dan replied, "D'ya want me to attempt the rare Polaroid selfie?"

Then I actually gently teased Dan (!?!?) because I'm a little shit lol I said, "I successfully did one this morning, so I hope you can"

They both seemed mildly amused and he did the thing where he touched his chest lightly in mock offense and said, "Well, let's see"

Tbh I think this was why I got genuine smiles in my pic

Dan said, "Beautiful" and Phil said "Amazing" lol (it really was tho)

Dan described the signature he'd be doing as "the tiniest little dan" and he used the highest voice ever

Phil's signature was so bad im pretty sure dan laughed at it lmao

Dan offered another selfie with my phone (i love him)

I shook their hands before I left and they seemed surprised, but appreciative. They both had excellent handshakes: firm, but not too hard. They both had soft, warm hands with Phil's being about average and Dan's being warmer than average

Overall, they were incredibly kind and professional. The vibe to be was sort of like talking to a boss who isn't your direct boss at a work party: fun, but still guarded

The saying goes "Never meet your heroes," but whoever said that obviously never met dan and phil. This was one of my happiest memories of all time

1500+ word description of the meeting including a sommelier worthy account of how the boys smell

And here’s the (real shit) video of my m&g

The Pre-Show

After meeting the bois, we were immediately given our goodie bags (one of them was double stuffed, lucky me)

Staff asked if we’d be staying in the theatre or not. Upon telling them we’d be leaving, they let us know we’d need to scan out so we could re-enter later

We bought merch (tie-dye/marbled look tee, long sleeved tee, and denim jacket). The line was basically non-existant, so if you have VIP 100% get your merch at this time

We scanned out and were told we could re-enter at 6 along with general admittance ticket holders

We had dinner then got back around 6:10. There was no line this time and we went through security and ticket scanning again

There were so many people everywhere and everyone was so cute! Why are we such a good looking fandom??? The line for merch was EXTREMELY long. RIP those folks

So was the line for the restrooms (and multiple men’s rooms were turned into ladydoors women’s restrooms)

We got 2 drinks (both for me) then went to our seats. We were front and center - I could literally touch the stage with my shoe from my seat. At this time I met @phandommom and @crunchytoasted1

The pre-show music was loud af where I was seated (I actually put in ear plugs lol). Lots of people were dancing and I got to witness crunchytoast dance to “Ladydoor” live which was a treat. At one point various people were running across the theatre with various LGBT+ flags to plenty of cheers. ‘Twas glorious. People did the whole waving the phone flashlights thing and sang along during “Welcome to the Black Parade”

My bf got me 2 more drinks

Showtime! 

THIS IS WHERE THE SPOILERS START!!!

It was so, so weird to see them onstage after having the m&g. I legit wanted to climb onstage and like be close again, but, ya know, I didn’t cuz I know what’s socially acceptable

We were called Susan. Classic

Phil was wearing waffle socks. As in socks with tiny waffles all over them

We sacrificed Phil to Satan and Dan died in a furry nightclub

None of mine or my bf’s answers got chosen and I’m a bit salty lol

We sacrificed Dan (the only correct choice fite me)

At intermission the line for the bathrooms was sooooo long omg. I got myself 2 more drinks at this point and called @h-owllslide to gush about the show. I spilled one of my drinks on my bf a little when I sat back down.

Danny was 3 centimeters away from loosing his dick and he got paint on his shoe. He seemed legit irked lol

Nick Jonas was in Dan’s box, but I don’t recall the other two cuz that was the only one that mattered imo

I got a piece of the sign and when they threw it into the audience it was a bit disturbing how everyone tore into it like a swarm of pirahnas

They wore Cubs baseball shirts over their usual shirts during the rap/song finale which was absolutely precious. I LOVED the finale so fucking much - it was magnificent

END SPOILERS!!!

Closing Thoughts

I wish I hadn’t drank so much (6 wines for those of you keeping track at home). I was getting real embarrassing by the end (as in screaming excitedly too much/ too often) and I don’t remember it as clearly as I wish I did. I was just freaking tf out and my anti-anxiety meds weren’t cutting it

I was struggling incredibly hard not to disassociate the entire time

I wish I could go to another show. It was so fun!

The following day, I had a major mood drop. If you’re prone to this, maybe have a plan to hang with someone and do something nice, but lowkey the next day

This was literally the most fun thing I’ve done in at least two years and was one of my happiest memories ever. We’re talking patronus conjuring levels of happy

If you can go, go. If you can’t, don’t feel too bad. It was EXTREMELY intense and not for everyone (especially m&g). Plus they are putting it up later, which I’m looking forward to because I think I’ll be able to better absorb it

Please feel free to ask me anything about the show! I’d love to go on about it lol