#love and touch

[soultayi]

the violin is pulled taut the sound shakes my teeth and you find me cowering besides the bed. the softest of touches on my jagged cracked skin breaks me. i fall apart, i come undone, i unravel at your touch and you stare at me as bones become indistinguishable from flesh, you look at the bloody mess i have turned into— what the lightest of touches has done to me. . .and in the glow of the setting sun, you begin to eat.

(it’s monday evening after my first shift at a new job and im thinking about how i will hide my eczema while listening to a violin mix on spotify. violins always makes me think of vampires which always makes me want to write poetry.)

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder and Scully: Love and Touch for INTPs/ISTJs (Types Post)

In my previous posts (Mulder is an INTP, not an INFP/INFJ; and Scully is an ISTJ), I touched on the dynamic duo’s patterns of behavior. I was going to save this post for Valentine’s Day; but I decided it was better to put this article out while all this brewing information was fresh in my mind... and who doesn’t love to read a little MSR yin-yang for the fun of it? SO... here!

HOW MULDER AND SCULLY FEEL LOVED 

To keep it short: in order for a Type to feel completely loved and understood, each of their primary 8 Functions must be “targeted” with care and affection. Thankfully for Mulder and Scully, it is ridiculously easy for both to give and receive love because of the significant overlap of their needs.

How Mulder Feels Loved

An INTP’s 8 primary Functions are: Ti Hero, Ne Parent, Si Child, Fe Inferior, Te Nemesis, Ni Critic, Se Trickster, and Fi Demon. I have a previous post explaining how they operate (see link at the top), so I won’t retread old ground, focusing instead on how to tune in and turn up his love signals. 

If these needs aren’t met, Mulder will give up on life and become addicted to anything that will distract him from it (whether it be seclusion or pornography or video games); because, for his brain, hedonism is a straight path to easy dopamine hits.

Ti Hero-- INTPs NEED to feel accepted, validated, valued. Always ask them what they think but always challenge it. Ti Hero has a tendency to dismiss any input that is opposite to what they believe is the truth; input must be shoved down their throat, and not just any input: mountains of facts, data, and tons of research to back up your claims and opinions. They love learning alternate data points, but their trust must be won in order for them to accept those data as facts. They value highly anyone who does this for them.  

Ne Parent-- Train an INTP to be more desirable. They hinder themselves by neglecting their (“horrific”) fashion sense and untrained social skills. It’s best if someone streamlines a system for each area of their life (fashion, the do’s and don’ts of auditing meetings, what to leave out of reports, etc.) so that they’re shaken out of their lazy patterns of “I don’t care” behavior. More importantly: BE DIRECT when you communicate, or they won’t change. They either don’t see the issue as a big deal (“why you tell me-- I thought it was fine”) or don’t even notice the issue at all.

Si Child-- Do NOT enable their comfort zone. FORCE variety upon them.  INTPs have a vice of laziness, happily looping in their stagnant but comfortable routines until they die, never growing nor changing. It quickly becomes the #1 threat to a healthy relationship; and it’s the responsibility of those they date to shepherd them out of their houses (or basements on a Saturday) and into the real world because of this blind spot.

Fe Inferior-- As loving and giving and rug-matting as they are, INTPs operate on covert contracts. They expect to gain as much as they give without actually saying that. Because of this, healthy boundaries must be set around expectations, or this problem will be enabled and dragged on until the relationship dies (“Never Again”, “Fight the Future”, “All Things”, etc.) Fortunately, this is easily fixed: INTPs crave acceptance; and will change their behavior on a dime if it hurts or harms another person.

Te Nemesis-- INTPs become the unacknowledged bedrock that others build their lives on top of-- much to others’ shock. And in return, they want only one thing: to peer review your mind. They constantly fear others are ingesting and feeding them wrong information, which leads to a stubborn insistence that every claim must be backed up and proven to them to be true-- not just because it has the right label attached to it. If anyone refuses to answer their questions or dodges those conversations, INTPs become distrustful, breeding disloyalty and vengeance by pulling out the foundation right from under that other person’s feet. Be well-researched and prepared for the mental challenge of battling every position you hold and those you want to change. (Luckily for Mulder, Scully is not only up to the challenge but thrives on it.)

Ni Critic-- If you want to offer multiple, indirect options to change an INTP’s behavior, don’t. Because #1. they can’t and won’t be motivated; and #2. because too many alternatives overwhelm and demotivate them further.  Instead, just TELL THEM clearly and directly what the problem is, what you want, and how they can fix it (ex. Mulder responding to Scully’s direct line-in-the-sand in One Son vs. her indirect plea in Never Again.) 

Se Trickster-- This is the function to train so that Ne Parent can be desired. INTPs spend so much time in their heads that they are unaware how they come across to people-- terrible fashion, odd quirks, etc.-- and need help with their outward perception and appearance. Their Fe Inferior fear of not being wanted lends them a leg-up here, because they integrate any “good first impression” advice as quickly as possible. (Amazingly, Mulder has Scully, the ISTJ Master-of-First-Impressions, on his side; and mostly lets her manage the locals and lead the team meetings.) By failing to help them with their Trickster, one sabotages an INTP’s core needs and desires and quickly dissolves any relationship.

Fi Demon-- Do not ask INTPs about their priorities. They will spend their whole lives trying to figure those out, mixing what’s expected of them in with what they’re single-mindedly trying to achieve while trying to navigate life’s winding and changing paths. And because they hardly interact with people outside their (not-so-metaphorical) basements, they have no grasp on anyone’s priorities (this is also why they need to be dragged out of their comfort zones.) Instead, share YOUR values; and INTPs will quickly wind their values around your fixed ones. 

How Scully Feels Loved 

An ISTJ’s 8 primary Functions are: Si Hero, Te Parent, Fi Child, Ne Inferior, Se Nemesis, Ti Critic, Fe Trickster, Ni Demon. Again, there’s a previous post link (at the top) while this is simply a list to be able to directly tune into each of her Function’s love signals. 

If these needs aren’t met, Scully will become bitter and leave permanently, letting whoever she was helping self-destruct on their own wrong path; and never, ever return.  

Si Hero-- ISTJs feel loved if their needs are considered and met. They feel unimportant when others are inconsistently considerate, proving to them that those loved ones don’t value them and their efforts. This hurt turns to bitterness, which turns to cut loyalty and severed ties. Scully appreciates anyone who takes note of and celebrates her traditions and her special occasions.  

Te Parent-- Effort MATTERS, because being special is what an ISTJ craves. They show their deep love by responsibly caring for others every day; and they don’t need much in return. Simply having someone think about them (and their likes and dislikes and struggles and victories) is enough to make ISTJs feel content. They must NEVER be forgotten (or made to feel that way.)

Fi Child-- ISTJs LOVE to feel special or privileged, as if they’re an elite specimen different from everyone else. And they have a point: they flawlessly step over their Fe Trickster’s awkwardness and unawareness of social norms to transform into beautiful swans with nary a hair out of place. And they like to feel that the time they’ve put into themselves (and others) is recognized and worth their investment. 

Ne Inferior-- ISTJs have expectations they’re afraid to share; and feel loved when others ask them consistently about their cares, fears and struggles. Help them open up and expose their gooey centers so those expectations can be met with love. 

Se Nemesis-- ISTJs want to rely on others just as much as others rely on them. People can demonstrate this by developing their own sense of responsibility as proof that an ISTJ’s lessons have paid off. This, in turn, proves to Scully that she has been listened to. 

Ti Critic-- This function worries that others are stupid. To prove an ISTJ wrong, back up all assertions with provable facts and research; this relaxes them and helps them to count that person as a reliable, quality source (very similar to Mulder’s Ti Hero: he needs a mountain of evidence to prove the person he’s listening to, whereas she needs a mountain of credentials and proof before she gives anyone’s claims a smidge of credibility.) 

Fe Trickster-- ISTJs are COMPLETELY unaware of social conventions; but are aware that they’ve somehow messed up (the flip coin of Mulder, who is aware of social conventions but unaware he’s messed up.) Nothing is worse for them than embarrassment; and if you save them from social faux pas and allow them to save face, they become die-hard loyal. By helping to train their nuance detectors, it teaches ISTJs how to practically apply their knowledge of social situations “in real life”, allowing them to blossom to even greater heights. 

Ni Demon-- ISTJs are afraid of risks and MUST take them WITH someone. If they’re perceived as “boring”, it’s not their fault: no one has taken the time to leap into the frightening void with them. Just because they have assumed the world’s responsibilities on their Atlas-shoulders does not mean they don’t have fears and weaknesses they need help with, too. They will hate you if you make them do it alone. 

TOUCH AND WHAT IT MEANS TO BOTH 

Touch, according to Jungian analytical psychology, is experienced through the Sensing Functions: Sensing Introverted (Si) and Sensing Extroverted (Se.)  

(Note: I will be writing about Sensing Introverted, or Si, Functions only in this post, because both Mulder and Scully use Si predominantly, being Si/Ne Axis Types-- see below.)  

An important aspect of physical touch specific to Sensing Introverted Types is the ability to ward off bitterness. Because Si functions as long-term memory-- used to uphold tradition and cultural community values-- they retain an extensive memory of all the hurts and wrongs committed against them and others, leading them all too easily to anger. Touch from another person translates tangibly mutual affection-- I need you, you are wanted-- to remind Si users they are not alone, and that good people value them. 

Si is always linked to a two-sided Axis with Extroverted Intuition, or Ne. Intuition broadly deals with wants (Ni “I am aware of what I want” and Ne “I am aware of what others want”); and Ne users struggle with the desire to have others want them. 

What’s the difference between these two approaches if they are inextricably linked? For Types who use Si primarily over Ne (Scully’s ISTJ), Si uses physical touch to translate unspoken love into tangible confirmation to Ne, helping it feel wanted and desired. For Types that use Ne primarily over Si (Mulder’s INTP), Ne helps assess the character and hidden goals of others around them to surround Si with quality, trustworthy, and comforting people so that it can relax and then connect with the secondary desire of being wanted. 

Because Ne is more focused on the psychological and intuitive processes of the Si-Ne dynamic, we’re going to set it aside for a bit to focus solely on Si’s physical touch and its translation of “want” and “need” for both Mulder and Scully. 

Scully and Touch

Si Hero - ISTJ

ISTJs crave touch. As long as they are comfortable with a person, Si Hero can’t get enough of it. To them, touch melts their Ne Inferior’s anxiety (which is convinced the world is on the brink of collapse), replacing their fears with hope and zest for life. ISTJs also love new experiences; but are usually hampered from trying them by their Se Nemesis (which fears faulty first impressions.) This can easily be sidestepped; and in doing so, one can imprint good first-time experiences into the rolodex of an ISTJ’s lifelong memory, creating ones they want to re-experience again and again with that person in the future. 

ISTJs want to be desired because it makes them feel prioritized. On the one hand, they feel heard and “seen”; on the other hand, they’re a bit of a snob, believing they deserve to be lauded for the polished efforts they’ve made (ex. Scully’s reception of Sheriff Hartwell’s compliments.) They love to be asked how they feel about something; and prefer interaction without judgment (which will make them shut down in record speed.) But most importantly: that the commitment and investment (time or effort) that ISTJs put into themselves and others will be appreciated. 

This is also the crux of the Scully Paradox: why she did and didn’t almost leave Mulder’s side during his obsessive questing years. When she was fulfilling her Si/Te Starbuck nature and feeling that Mulder valued what she brought to the table, she stayed happily. But whenever Mulder began to let their relationship stagnate and never progress, her Ne Inferior anxiety kicked in-- feeling they weren’t even trapped in a circle so much as “an endless line”, that they’d never escape the X-Files and that it would forever take precedence over her normal life (even shouting about it affecting her and her baby’s life in Essence.) I go more in-depth in my post on her Type (linked at the top); but suffice to say, Scully is sometimes her best advocate and worst enemy. 

Because Mulder’s Type relies on being told directly that there is a problem he needs to fix, while Scully’s is wired to silently wait for their relationship (and her) to be set above his work, the two of them drifted along in their car for YEARS in an unchanging status quo, leading Scully to question her life’s choices (Never Again, All Things) and her faith in her partner (Oubliette, Paper Hearts, The Pine Bluff Variants.) Meanwhile, MULDER DIDN’T HAVE A CLUE and thought they were doing just fine (a mutually close relationship, extra affection shared during and after her cancer, his “This is a life” in Dreamland, etc., etc., etc.)  

Mulder and Touch

Si Child - INTP

An INTP’s Si Child sees touch as a bonding experience AFTER trust and desirability is established. It, like ISTJ’s Si Hero, never grows tired of a variety of experiences; and because they have Se Trickster, INTPs are even less discriminatory when it comes to new experiences than ISTJs. Once their pessimistic Ne Parent’s suspicions have been soothed by built-up trust, they proudly exemplify the motto “I’ll do anything once.” In an interesting twist, Si Child is also gifted at culinary skills; but only if their homes are an escape from the chaos of the world around them (and if they haven’t fallen into the lazy routine of takeout or microwaveable meals.) 

Although Si Child is very often disrespected-- particularly male INTPs, who are seen as too weak, too trusting, and too easily exploitable-- without merit, there are moments where it behaves wrongly. INTPs operate on “covert contracts”: they scratched your back, so you should scratch theirs. This cannot be enabled: because this Type is one of the laziest, it easily creates destructively comfortable bad habits. An unspoken contract drawn up in good faith one day might become a swift demand the next (ex. Mulder expecting liberties from Skinner he can’t always provide, expecting Scully to do what he needs done in Never Again despite her crisis, etc.) Thankfully, INTPs are easily course-corrected through the validation of others, which they crave. 

Because Fe Inferior clouds an INTP’s ability to truly believe or internalize any praise given, Mulder heavily relies on his loved ones’ validation to combat his constant struggle with self-worth. And while these words are crucial to fueling his crusade, Mulder needs his Si Child to be caressed and reassured lovingly by the very few people who’ve earned and retained his stingy trust.

Bringing It All Together

INTPs (Mulder) and ISTJs (Scully) share the Si/Ne Axis, using physical touch as a soothing and bonding experience. They also usually respond to the same things: make them feel desired by taking heed to their comfort; and once they’re relaxed, playfully lead up to more romantic gestures (or, if platonic, meaningful ones.) 

They respond to this same process in different steps: INTPs must feel desired before their guard can be relaxed with comfort: touch their arm, invite them out to things, and directly COMMUNICATE your interest. If they see you bringing them food without having established your intent, they get highly suspicious (ex. Phoebe’s initial attempts in Fire vs. when she clued in and slowed down her tactics.) ISTJs need to be relaxed before they can feel desired: adjust the room temperature, bring them food, touch them nicely and comfortingly. When they see their needs being considered, ISTJs realize they’re being desired (ex. Eddie van Blundht’s slow, seductive leadup-- a lazy couch chat in front of the fire, reminiscing about her past and her wants.) 

Mulder and Scully’s effortlessly affectionate bond is rooted in Scully’s comfort first (when she leaped at him for a hug in the Pilot), Mulder’s trust second (when he related his personal memories and feelings of his sister’s abduction), and their mutual comfort third. Despite their differing approaches to life, both intuited this aspect of their relationship, gravitating towards each other wordlessly the rest of their partnership. 

Thanks for reading~ 

Enjoy!

Disclaimers: This is a self-assessed analysis. This information is not based on the abominable MBTI system (which has been butchered from its original Jungian typology since ~WWII); instead, it’s a combination between the works of Jung’s type psychology, Dr. Linda Berens’ Communication styles, Dr. Dario Nardi’s EEG brain scan compiled research, and others’ data and practices as compiled and simplified by CSJoseph. This system is based only on the Nature side of Nature/Nurture; and each “type” is not a “box” to fit everyone into– simply a tool to help understand the basics of the human mind that science has only begun to fathom in its limited scope.

[diianiita20]

[shakespearian-love]

Dinner Date with you ❦

[kindinb00]

[w-intent]

[landflman]

[batcavescolony]

*Talia visiting Damian*

Talia: Damian, how are you? *glares at Dick*

Damian: I am doing well mother

Dick: *from behind him* *mouthing: why the fuck are you here?*

Talia: oh that's great! I see you have a new pet? *Mouthing back: to see MY son*

Damian: this is Haley, Grayson's dog, she's staying with me while he goes on a mission.

Dick: *flipping Talia off where Damian can't see* yep, he's so good with animals

Talia: I'm aware *throws a knife at him*

Dick: *throws it back*

[kindinb00]

[agentromanoffsir]

neocities guide - why you should build your own html website

do you miss the charm of the 90s/00s web where sites had actual personality instead of the same minimalistic theme? are you feeling drained by social media and the constant corporate monopoly of your data and time? do you want to be excited about the internet again? try neocities!!

what is neocities?

neocities is a free hosting website that lets you build your own html website from scratch, with total creative control. in their own words: "we are tired of living in an online world where people are isolated from each other on boring, generic social networks that don't let us truly express ourselves. it's time we took back our personalities from these sterilized, lifeless, monetized, data mined, monitored addiction machines and let our creativity flourish again."

why should I make my own website?

web3 has been overtaken by capitalism & conformity. websites that once were meant to be fun online social spaces now exist solely to steal your data and sell you things. it sucks!! building a personal site is a great way to express yourself and take control of your online experience.

what would I even put on a website?

the best part about making your own site is that you can do literally whatever the hell you want! focus on a specific subject or make it a wild collection of all your interests. share your art! make a shrine for one of your interests! post a picture of every bird you see when you step outside! make a collection of your favorite blinkies! the world is your oyster !! here are some cool example sites to inspire you: recently updated neocities sites | it can be fun to just look through these and browse people's content! space bar | local interstellar dive bar creature feature | halloween & monsters big gulp supreme peanutbuttaz | personal site dragodiluna linwood | personal site patho grove | personal site

getting started: neocities/html guide

sound interesting? here are some guides to help you get started, especially if you aren't familiar with html/css sadgrl.online webmastery | a fantastic resource for getting started with html & web revival. also has a layout builder that you can use to start with in case starting from scratch is too intimidating web design in 4 minutes | good for learning coding basics w3schools | html tutorials templaterr | demo & html for basic web elements eggramen test pages | css page templates to get started with sadgrl background tiles | bg tiles rivendell background tiles | more free bg tiles

fun stuff to add to your site

want your site to be cool? here's some fun stuff that i've found blinkies-cafe | fantastic blinkie maker! (run by @transbro & @graphics-cafe) gificities | internet archive of 90s/00s web gifs internet bumper stickers | web bumper stickers momg | gif gallery 99 gif shop | 3d gifs 123 guestbook | add a guestbook for people to leave messages cbox | add a live chat box moon phases | track the phases of the moon gifypet | a little clickable page pet adopt a shroom | mushroom page pet tamaNOTchi | virtual pet crossword puzzle | daily crossword imood | track your mood neko | cute cat that chases your mouse pollcode | custom poll maker website hit counter | track how many visitors you have

web revival manifestos & communities

also, there's actually a pretty cool community of people out there who want to bring joy back to the web! melonland project | web project/community celebrating individual & joyful online experiences. Also has an online forum melonland intro to web revival | what is web revival? melonking manifesto | status cafe | share your current status nightfall city | online community onio.cafe | leave a message and enjoy the ambiance sadgrl internet manifesto | yesterweb internet manifesto | sadly defunct, still a great resource reclaiming online social spaces | great manifesto on cultivating your online experience

in conclusion

i want everyone to make a neocities site because it's fun af and i love seeing everyone's weird personal sites that they made outside of the control of capitalism :) say hi to me on neocities

[emptiness-statue]

[daisysky323]

[nouverx]

Louise never heard about puppy love, cause they don't know that term in France 💔

---------------------------------------------

Lyrics are from Louise by TV Girl ! I was listening to it yesterday and that specific line on the second page screamed Alastor I just had to draw something about it

[solestella]

[w-intent]

[ecstasy-embrace]