#luminara's so proud of her little padawan

[creativesplat]

Padawan and Master. 

[antianakin]

Some sad thoughts on Luminara in the Darksider Ahsoka AU where she's PERFECTLY aware of who Darth Vader is and the complete and utter betrayal she feels in the wake of this because she genuinely really LIKED Anakin, liked his unorthodox methods, liked his biting humor, liked his spontaneity. She might've been one of the people who really helped raise him, who was around him when he was really young a lot, gave him tutoring in classes he struggled with if Obi-Wan was either unavailable or just not quite as good as explaining it as Luminara was.

She's not going to fight him, she has no desire to fight anymore if she can avoid it, no desire for more bloodshed. And she has to work through this for the sake of her Padawans, for Barriss and Trilla and Reva who are all so hurt and betrayed and are looking to HER for guidance. She can't give in to that anger she feels, the guilt for having not seen the truth of his unorthodox methods and his arrogance and his violent protectiveness. She can't just let it consume her the way it consumed him.

But a deep part of her can't help but root for anyone who tries to take him down, can't help the little lurch of disappointment when they inevitably get the news of failure and Anakin's continued existence.

And then of course Ahsoka shows back up, over a decade later, and Luminara remembers her, too. Remembers the brave loyal feisty Padawan who taught her a lesson herself, who protected Barriss with her resourcefulness. She remembers telling Ahsoka that Anakin would be PROUD of her. She remembers laughing a little with some of their friends that Obi-Wan had somehow managed to have two Padawans giving him all the same gray hairs he'd given Qui-Gon, as was his due. She remembers Barriss and Ahsoka keeping in contact as the war went on, clinging to a little bit of connection with someone who understood.

But she also remembers Barriss's increasing distress when those calls ended, worried about her friend seeming bitter and frustrated in ways Barriss had no way to soothe. She remembers the bombing, the deaths of clones and civilians, and how Anakin had let his student run from it all in the end. She remembers Obi-Wan's grief, Barriss's shock, and Anakin's anger.

She knows Barriss says that Ahsoka is different, now, not quite so angry, ready to learn again, ready to HELP again. She's heard Barriss say that Ahsoka had been upset that the Jedi were being led so far away from their teachings and that some part of her had hoped her actions might somehow save the Jedi. She's listened to Barriss say that Ahsoka grieved the Jedi when Order 66 happened, same as the rest of them.

But it's so so hard for Luminara to look at Ahsoka and not see the same mistakes she made with Anakin. She has a hard time trusting that Ahsoka, for all that she's claiming to be on their side now, isn't secretly working with her Master. She sees how similar they are, how similar they always were, and it frightens her. She helped raise Anakin, and she'd liked him for all of the traits that caused him to kill her children and desecrate her home. She'd liked Ahsoka, but hadn't been as close to her as she had been to Anakin, and she doesn't want to get close to Ahsoka NOW only for it to end up yet another trick.

And in the end, it isn't Barriss who changed Luminara's mind and helps her let go of her anger. It's Trilla. Trilla who'd held so much anger over her own Master's perceived betrayal, who had been so distrustful of Luminara in the beginning, who had worked SO HARD to learn how to trust people again and center herself through learning how to heal rather than kill. Luminara can't control whether Ahsoka chooses to betray them or not, all she can control are her own actions. But Ahsoka has been lost and scared for SO LONG now, and Luminara's got experience helping a lost, scared Padawan come back from the Dark.

Luminara will never forget what Anakin Skywalker did to her people, she'll never forget the lessons his betrayal taught her about looking deeper at someone she loves to ensure she does not love blindly. But it does her no good to continue to be angry. If she gets the chance to kill him, she'll take it, to ensure no one else ever has to endure the pain she has gone through. She won't really mourn him if someone else ends up being the one to kill him, she's mourned the loss of the person she thought she'd known for over a decade now already, his passing into the Force just makes that death official. But she is a Jedi, more than Anakin Skywalker ever was apparently, and she does not intend to let his choices control her own.

[stellanslashgeode]

This one little scene from Sundari Accelerando is one I really treasure. It's fun to write a Mandalorian/Jedi pairing. Because you end up with these two people who are constantly insecure about their relationship status, who deep down want to clarify everything. But they're too damn stubborn to do so in clear language even if they had the vocabulary. Which they don't. I imagine it's a nice trope for Obitine, Dinluke, Wolfwren, heck, Fett and Vader. This paring which is shipped by just me at this point I call Kastoffee.

Barriss hurried back to her tent as she was delayed and denied training time with her new Padawan. “I’m so sorry, Sirin. Just when my usual sentry duty shift the Duchess called and I… What’s going on here?”

Sirin was where she had left her this morning, sitting with perfect posture as Rook, also seated, bent near to put the final touches on the eyeliner she was applying. Sirin looked over at her Master and beamed. The yellow, orange, and red eyeliner and eyeshadow did indeed look very striking on her.

“That is a good look for you, Padawan.”

“Miss Rook thought it would be.”

Kast shrugged her shoulders before starting to put her makeup away.

“Thank you, Miss Rook for entertaining my Padawan while I was away. That’s really above and beyond.”

Her lover gave her a shrug. She had a bit of a self-satisfied look. “We both had some free time, so we did a bit of bonding.”

“That was really not necessary…” It was then that Barriss noticed Sirin’s boots and leggings were splattered with mud. The leggings would need someone to darn a few tears as well. “What else were the two of you up to today?”

“The camp larder was starting to look bare, so we did a little hunting. I asked the young Seven about her tattoo. And she said it was for skill in tracking. I wondered if that skill could be transferrable to a chore useful towards the camp.”

Sirin smiled triumphantly. “She taught me how to use a gun.”

“She is a fast learner. She provided a few meals for the camp today.”

Barriss raised her eyebrows. “Oh, did she?” She advanced on her Mandalorian roommate. “You have been ever so helpful today, Miss Rook. Maybe in the future you could let me know ahead of time so we can coordinate as to her training regimen.”

Kast stood, alert to stand her ground. “You are training her. I am not. We both had free time. I was just filling it.”

“Through extracurricular educational tasks, Miss Rook. Again, I thank you. But you shouldn’t feel any pressure to take on that role if you do not wish to.”

“Why, do you not wish me to?”

“Do you want to be an additional mentor, Kast?”

“I was just here and so was she. That is all.”

They were just centimeters apart now. “Yes. You were here. Why are you here, exactly?”

“This is my tent too. I have a cot and I sleep here.”

“Yes, why is that?”

Kast gave her a proud and a bit of a sultry look. “Because I am your co-pilot. We are partners.”

‘You seem pretty sure of that, Miss Rook.”

“My name is on the roster, same as yours. You put it there.”

“I did. Nothing in there about being co-mentor.”

“I did not want the youngling to be idle. I was trying to be helpful.”

“Is that what you like doing, Miss Kast? Do you like to be helpful?”

“Don’t you? I like to help you. I am your co-pilot after all. That’s what co-pilots do.”

“You seem pretty sure of that.”

She closed her eyes and rested her cheek against the side of Barriss’ head. “You put my name down. I assumed you wanted me here.”

Barriss whispered to her. “I do want you here, Rook. I think it’s sweet what you did. But please clear things with me first. I’m scared enough being a teacher for the first time, that responsibility.”

“She’s a good kid. She’ll be easy.”

“Maybe if I have a good co-pilot to help guide me.” She kissed her lightly. “She slipped out a minute ago, didn’t she?”

“Yes, saw her out of the corner of my eye. Her and her droid. I guess it got a little awkward in here.”

She hugged her stubborn lover and kissed her once more. “If I was Luminara I would go after her. But I think she’s earned a bit of leeway to roam after being trapped on a starship for nearly a month. At her age. Maybe we should give her a head start to play like a wild child for an hour or so.”

“You shall be a fine buir to the youth.” Kast caressed the Jetti’s cheek.

“I can only hope so and trust in the Force. You called her ‘Seven’ just now?”

“She asked me to call her that. It’s like her callsign.”

“Interesting.”

Outside the young Sister and her droid splashed through puddles, looked through junk piles for secret treasures, skirted the edge of the jungle seeking imaginary monsters, and generally wasted time waiting for the two women to come to some sort of an understanding. Her Force-blessed perception gave her the impression that it would go smoother if she was not there.

[jedimasterbailey]

Hello, may I ask for some Barriss and Luminara headcanons?

OMG YES YOU CAN! 👏🏻😭 I was literally going to beg people to ask me for more Mirialan headcanons because my real life has been tragic and I could use some more wholesome Mom-inara and Barriss content. Fellow Mirialan stans, as always feel free to add on to these headcanons 💚💙 I always love seeing what other people come up with. I’ve also linked my other headcanons of these two down below…hope you enjoy ☺️

1.) The heart shaped belt Barriss wears actually once belonged to Luminara when she herself was a Padawan. Barriss’s blue cloak was actually handmade by Luminara and gifted both items to Barriss on her first official day as a Padawan.

2.) When Barriss was a child, Luminara would always bring her back a little souvenir from her missions as a Padawan/Knight.

3.) Luminara did a lot of reading on Mirialan mother/daughter customs in preparation of taking Barriss under her wing. Ever since she met Barriss, she was very determined to become the best Master/Mom to her much like her own Master was. After all it pays one to be prepared right?

4.) Luminara was the one to cut Barriss’s hair when she officially became a Padawan as per tradition (similar to how human Padawan learners cut their hair short but without the braid). Luminara is personally very fond of Barriss’s short hair thinking it suits the girl’s personality the best (even though she thinks her Padawan is beautiful no matter what she looks like). Barriss finds it soothing when Luminara brushes/fixes her hair after long, stressful days.

5.) Being the biggest supporter of Barriss’s healer studies, Luminara would help her Padawan prepare for big exams/assignments by pulling all nighter study sessions with her. She’d make them snacks (since she is 100% a great cook) and tea and schedule mandatory breaks so Barriss isn’t just staring blankly at her reading. Luminara constantly reminds Barriss how proud she is of her.

6.) Barriss practices her healing ability a lot on Luminara and insists on taking care of her Master whenever she’s sick/injured/stressed. Luminara of course does the same for Barriss but she worries so much more since she doesn’t have the gift of Force healing and doesn’t want to fail her girl.

7.) They observe and celebrate Mirialan holidays together but always invite their friends to join them (Luminara loves sneaking invitations to Ahsoka because she knows Barriss is too shy to ask).

8.) They like to keep up on the latest literature and holoentertainment together. Ending the day falling asleep with a movie on snuggled up together are cherished moments for both women.

9.) Luminara always loves to give Barriss a hard time about wearing high heels to Geonosis. She can’t let it go same as Barriss’s curtsy to Ahsoka.

10.) They fly in sync with each other just like their fighting style.

11.) Luminara tries very hard to get Barriss into speeder bike riding but Barriss being a healer has issue with her mom going above the speed limit in Coruscant without a helmet.

12.) Barriss likes to make/gift floral arrangements to Luminara to show her love and appreciation.

13.) They too are competitive with each other like Anakin/Obi-Wan and Anakin/Ahsoka when it comes to coming up with battle plans, slicing droids, etc. But of course it’s their infamous snowball fights that has everyone excited.

14.) Gree and the Clones love observing and being around the mom/daughter duo. They love hearing the banter and will laugh at anyone who claims the Mirialans aren’t dramatic.

15.) Self care is important to them so they have mother/daughter spa days together (Ahsoka eventually joins them).

16.) Barriss gets very upset/protective of Luminara if people try to hit on her or is disrespectful on their missions. Nobody tries anything with Barriss with Luminara’s death glare.

17.) When alone, Luminara and Barriss always end their conversations with an “I love you”. Luminara always gives Barriss a forehead kiss and Barriss always goes running and springs for the hug when Luminara returns from a mission.

18.) When apart, they always pray for one another before bed as they usually pray/meditate together before bed back at the Temple.

19.) Luminara secretly put together a holocron for Barriss to have later. She recorded all her lessons and documents memories of their time together so that no matter what happened in the future, Barriss will always have her Master.

20.) Not only did Barriss set Luminara’s body free from Imperial custody, but she gave her a proper burial in accordance with Mirialan customs. She was also able to get in possession of her Master’s lightsaber (which she keeps forever) but wears the green kyber crystal around her neck always. Barriss new lightsaber hilt looks similar to Luminaras hilt as well as her attire.

21.) Luminara actually knighted Barriss as a Force ghost after they reconciled and Barriss finds peace within herself. Barriss learns to commune with her Master in the netherworld so that they could still be connected.

22.) Barriss along with Ahsoka tell the Skywalker twins and other Jedi all about Luminara and pass on her teachings/story.

[comeandreadawhile]

I love your Clone Social Media post! Do you think they'd ever film/post responses to the SW equivalent to the reddit advice threads like r/Relationships or r/AmITheAssh0le? Or would any of them (the medics maybe?) develop an Ask Column? I feel like the clones would have a unique world view and their personalities would lend to some hilarious (or amazing) advice going out on the holonet.

Definitely. Kix and the other medics probably start an ask blog crossed with WebMD, drowning in gallows humor

“‘How quickly can you amputate a leg?’ That depends, how close is the nearest Jedi’s lightsaber?”

“‘I can’t stop sneezing and I have a fever’—sounds like Rhinovirus, no known cure. Terrible shame, but you might live.”

Ponds runs an Ask Abby/Miss Manners ask column about clones and Jedi, with Mace as a reference for the Jedi and a popular guest for philosophical debate.

Gree makes sci-show vlogs about alien species and documents his brothers’ antics. Sometimes Bly makes guest appearances to talk science.

As for r/relationships and r/AITA, Wolffe co-admins both, with Bly on the former and Rex on the latter. Pretty much every AITA post is responded to with ‘yes’, either earnestly, or with blatant sarcasm for the ‘no’s followed by why it’s a no. While Bly has the rose-tinted glasses on for the relationship blog, Wolffe is that one perpetual single in every friend group who gives stone-cold logical advice.

Stone is on Space!youtube, explaining laws and their pros and cons, explaining loopholes and weird technicalities and the process of the Senate to pass laws, as well as updates from around Coruscant. It’s basically the SW version of Last Week Tonight.

Fox runs r/JustSenatorThings. He documents the antics and mannerisms of senators. He also answers personal questions.

“How often do I—hey, Thire! What’s this word?”

“How’s it spelled?”

“S-L-E-E-P.”

“FOX.”

“No, I know how to spell that.”

Thorn runs r/JustFoxThings. He documents the on-going war between the caf mug stack vs Fox’s paperwork.

There emerges Space!Insta, where GAR clone art is posted. Dogma posts foodporn, both actual food and GAR rations. “Here we see another beautiful nutrient stick. Full of 100% of a brother’s daily iron requirement and not a hint of flavor to be found.” He sneaks into the temple when the 501st is planetside to document the snack bar in the knights’ quarters. It’s only open odd hours and there is a single hotdog spinning, on and on, that none of the knights will even make eye contact with.

Toast clone runs a blog solely about different types of bread and his attempts at making them in the meager kitchens he has access to.

Wooley and Tup make hair tutorials, taking requests and experimenting on their own time. 212th and 501st meet ups are fun for them.

A space!reddit is made of Cryptid Commanders, made by their men finding said commanders up at force-forsaken hours getting caf, once of Bly hanging from the ceiling with the camera light reflecting off his helmet visor, and of Fox passed out in various ways around his office.

Space!Tiktok is sees a lot of Ahsoka and her men. Unfortunately Rex and Anakin are terrible at tiktok dances, so they’re usually her camera crew while Fives and Tup back her up; it starts a craze. Caleb (and eventually Depa) dance with Gray and their men, which means Mace and Ponds have to do something (classy of course, but it pleases the kids so Mace does it and will never admit to it being fun), Aayla and Bly look well rehearsed but claim they did it by mirroring the video reference they had on, eventually Ahsoka, Shaak, Aayla AND Luminara do one together. Quinlan does them just to annoy his commander; it works. The clones are more than happy to answer questions their followers send in as well, about themselves or the war, about anything. They like giving civilians the chance to see them in a better, individual light than dime a dozen flesh droids.

There begin r/JustCloneThings where brothers post about specifically clone related jokes and issues, and r/JustJediThings, where they post about their Jedi. (When your Jedi says the drop zone failed the vibe check.) (Won’t sleep for more than ten minutes but will meditate for four hours because the Martial Commander smiled.)

(If you suspect your Jedi knows Mando’a, switch to complete gibberish and see if they react at all. Feel free to make up hand signs to mess with them.)

Then come the proud big brother postings about their Jedi commanders, the good ole Mandalorian genes making the men gush over their respective kids when it’s safe to do so. The kids making progress in their training, and some have the honor of seeing their commanders knighted and made generals. They teach the little ones to track and lay low, how to shoot straight and wield vibroblades when they’ve grown some. Sometimes just the kids being cute, like Caleb napping against Depa, or Kal riding his master’s shoulders, and Ahsoka snuggling between Anakin and Rex on a long flight. ‘Doting grandmaster’ is a popular tag thanks to Mace and Obi-wan; Caleb and Ahsoka get away with things Depa and Anakin would’ve been severely grounded for, and the clones love watching them steam in the background while their padawans are protected by said doting grandmasters.

Note: the cursed hot dog is a joke between my roommate and I. Upon learning the knights’ snack bar existed, we determined it was only open for ten minutes at 2 am and that there’s a magical enigmatic hot dog amongst the misfit food (cotton candy jello, broken granola bars). It guards the temple and anyone who takes it and eats it gets super sick, and the hot dog is magically whole back in its case, ever rolling, on and on. It’s not meat, probably. No one’s sure, especially not the ones who attempted to eat it. Respect and fear the hot dog. It is eternal.

[mahizli]

Still Learning (There Is No Ignorance, There Is Knowledge)

Art by tallterror and second chapter of Threading The Way (Jedi June).

32 BBY.

“Thank you, Anakin.”

Master Ti’s voice was gentle, and Ani met her warm, brown eyes before he bowed, like Padawans were supposed to, like Obi-Wan had taught him at the very beginning of his stay here, almost a month ago.

“It’s okay.”

His voice sounded strange. Like there was not enough air in is lungs. And his heart was beating all fast, too. It felt like… like the day he had left Mum, and Ani did not want to go there in his head. Instead, he followed the other Initiates out of the door and into the corridor.

“Hello, Master Obi-Wan…”

It sounded like a song, all his fellow-Initiates greeting his Master who stood there, leaning against the corridor walls, waiting for him. But Ani didn’t join in, didn’t say a thing: he knew just how eager they were to catch a glimpse of him, the one who lost his Master, the one who killed a Sith and was training him, him whom Qui-Gon had called the Chosen One. They were still wary of him, and he had not made any real friend, save Senior Padawan Quinlan who was going to become a Knight very soon and was actually Obi-Wan’s friend. And Master Luminara and Master Kit, who were also Obi-Wan’s friends.

Ani loved spending time with Master Quinlan, because he knew Tatooine and understood things even Obi-Wan didn’t know. And he loved Master Luminara because she had been there, with him, when Obi-Wan had started bleeding from his nose, talking funny, and had fallen down in the training grounds. She and Master Quinlan had taken Obi-Wan to the Halls of Healing, and there, Master Vokara Che had told them the bond between him and Master Qui-Gon was still bleeding, because it had been broken and not closed, and because Obi-Wan had pushed everything tight behind his shields.

Master Che, Master Yoda and Master Billaba had brought Obi-Wan back into the Force and had closed the injury in Obi-Wan’s mind. And Master Quinlan, Master Luminara and Master Kit had tried to help him with the sadness inside, even though Obi-Wan was still missing Qui-Gon fiercely and would still go very silent whenever he was thinking of him.  

Ani watched his fellow-Initiates swarm through the corridor, and checked out his Master, because it had only been a week since Obi-Wan came back from the Halls, all thin and still somewhat shaky. A week since they had cleaned and tidied up Master Qui-Gon’s stuff, and Ani still had a hard time to believe how much steadier Obi-Wan felt in the Force now.

He was no longer pale, no longer looking like he would be gone any minute, vanishing like the images people saw when they got sun-sickness on Tatooine. Obi-Wan was better now, Ani could feel it through their bond, but he still grabbed the hem of Obi-Wan’s robe, just in case, rubbing his thumb against the rough fabric.

Hello there, Padawan.

Ani didn’t smile, because people were still around, and because he still felt weird from what he had just managed to do, during Master Ti’s class. But inside, it felt like something opening up, and when Obi-Wan started to walk them back to their quarters, Ani quietly slid his hand into his and squeezed.

“How was class, Anakin?”, Obi-Wan asked, once their doors slid shut.

Ani took off his boots, shrugging out of his bag.

“Okay, Master.”

Obi-Wan never asked many questions. He never pried, like some Initiates did. He just let it go, waiting for Ani to find him. And Ani wanted to tell him, about the way he had listened to him and accepted to tell Master Ti and the other Initiates about Tatooine, about why he hadn’t been taught to read and write, about the way slaves were forbidden to do some things and to enter some places.

But Ani also knew it would make Obi-Wan sad to talk about such stuff, and he didn’t want him to be sad anymore, he just wanted to hear him talk and marvel about the way he felt so smart and quick and witty through their bond.

And he never seemed to be bothered, when Anakin asked him questions, not even while he cooked, chopping off tubers, and cutting odd orange stuff that was called pumpkin to mix them together in some kind of soup that had a nice, sugary flower.

And so Ani got to know all about Obi-Wan’s day. About the subjects he was still studying, despite no longer being a Padawan, about the way he had trained with Master Luminara because they were both specialising in a form called Soresu. About the people in the Temple Obi-Wan had talked to, and that Ani still struggled to remember.

“I like that soup, Master. It’s nice.”

Obi-Wan smiled at him.

“It’s the nutmeg. I think you have a weak spot for spices, Padawan.”

Obi-Wan knew so many things. Ani didn’t have a clue what a nutmeg was, but Obi-Wan showed him the small, brown nut, and let him grind a bit of it into his soup – and it was delicious.

They talked some more, and then Ani was sent into the fresher to shower. He knew how to use the taps and the pressure now – it wasn’t complicated, actually, much less complicated than the ventilation system on the back of Watto’s shop, or the ignition of his old speeder. But Ani still tried to be quick, because it was no sonic – no carefully harvested water from a moisturizer, but water flowing like springs from the very faucets, and it still felt like such a waste.

Obi-Wan loved showers, though. He wasn’t long about it, but sometimes, Ani heard him hum quietly through the fresher’s door, and he always felt relaxed in the Force afterwards.  

That evening, Obi-Wan didn’t shower, though. He was sitting cross-legged on his bed, barefoot yet still wearing his leggings and tunics, and Ani crawled up next to him, looking at the green picture that hung across Obi-Wan’s desk. It was a landscape from Stewjon, Obi-Wan’s planet, and Obi-Wan had painted it some years ago, because his Master was very skilled at drawing, and had filled whole journals with his sketches.

“What are you doing, Master?”, he asked, his tooka-doll Spikes closely tucked to his chest.

Obi-Wan sighed, turning tired grey eyes towards him.

“I’m trying to make sense of an essay of a currently very famous yet completely unintelligible philosopher, Padawan.”

“Why?”

Ani lifted a very puzzled face towards his Master, and Obi-Wan smiled again, deftly carding his fingers through Ani’s loosened braid, undoing it before he started braiding it again for the night.

“Because he claims to be an expert about the topic I’m supposed to study, and write an essay about.”

“But why do they need you to write essays and to read boring stuff? You’re no Padawan anymore, Master. You’re one of the best Jedi ever – everybody keeps talking about you in the Temple.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes clouded for a moment, but when he lifted his face towards Anakin, his gaze was clear.

“Because the only thing I know, Padawan mine, is how little I do know and how much I have still to learn.”

Ani hung his head, letting Obi-Wan closing his braid, watching the way his Master’s knees melted with the rough fabric of the sheets.

“I know the feeling, Master”, he whispered.

I feel like that all the time.

Obi-Wan’s hand travelled from next to his cheek to his shoulder, and soon enough, Ani was pulled against his side, breathing in the smell of clean linen, of soap and Obi-Wan.

“I did it, Master. I told them. About the slaves, on Tatooine. About what it meant, to read ‘no slaves allowed’ or ‘keep out’. About the dangers out there. They didn’t ask any questions, though. I don’t think they understood much, anyway.”

Obi-Wan stayed silent, for a while, data-pad and reading forgotten.

“I am not sure one can truly understand, Padawan. I still struggle. And sometimes… sometimes I think about what you have been through, and I wish…”

His Master didn’t go on, words ending into something that was both a breath and a sigh. There was no need, though. Ani understood.

“But, Anakin… I think that the reason the Initiates stayed silent was… because they were in awe. Because they felt very ignorant, compared what you were forced to experience.”

Ani shrugged, face still buried into Obi-Wan’s side.

“I’m very proud of you, Padawan.”

Obi-Wan’s voice was even softer, and Ani wrapped his arms around his waist, wordlessly. For a while, he listened to the quiet way Obi-Wan was breathing, focusing on the way Obi-Wan’s belly was meeting his forearms, whenever he was drawing in air or letting out a sigh.

His Master had resumed reading, and it didn’t seem to make him happy, because there was a thin crease between his eyes Ani had learned to recognize. What was more, Valentine, Qui-Gon’s old plant, was hissing quietly on the windowsill, flowers turning an electric form of blue and getting all spiky. Ani closed his eyes and sent a soft Force-tendril towards her, trying to stop her hissing.

Nervous-Pointless-Anxious-Enough.

Valentine’s projections in the Force were always really helpful with Obi-Wan, and Anakin sent back Okay-Got It-Thank You-Calm Down.

“Master… I think you should stop reading. I don’t think that feel-low-something is worth it.”

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows shot up, and he turned towards Ani.

“He’s making your head ache. And I think… I think anybody who writes stuff that is so hard to understand that even you don’t manage it, well… it’s not someone who cares about sharing what he knows.”

“Anakin, I’m not the standard by whom you should… I don’t think you… It’s not supposed to be difficult, it’s just that I…”

“Master, I don’t know much. I know I don’t. But… But I know you’re so smart that every teacher here loves you. There’s not one who’s hasn’t spoken about you, and I’ve only been here four weeks. So… I don’t think you should read that stuff. I think you should stick to those who want to share what they know, not just… show off or something.”

Obi-Wan stared at him for some seconds, and then his Master did something very unexpected. Ani watched Obi-Wan’s shoulders start to shake in silent laughter, until it broke out of Obi-Wan’s very signature, in quiet bubbles of amusement.

“Oh, I think that fellow really wanted to show off…”, his Master sighed. “I’m not sure I read anything that dense for… I don’t know, probably ever?”

Anakin started to giggle as well, watching Obi-Wan close the data-pad, leaning against his headboard, still laughing quietly.

“It was… I kept reading the same page over and over, wondering what in the Galaxy was wrong with me – it felt like… it felt like… Oh Anakin, you are so right – it is some incomprehensible, self-satisfied babble, and it is positively useless!”

Obi-Wan sounded both amused and amazed by his own defiance, and though Ani had no clue about what his Master truly meant, he could feel how relieved and lighter he felt through their bond.

“I’m not going to read that”, Obi-Wan whispered, eyes growing somewhat wide, and Ani couldn’t help hugging him again, because he looked like the way Kitster did, whenever Ani convinced him to do something he was afraid of yet kept dreaming about.

“I’m going to… I’m going to focus on ignorance and knowledge instead. About the way they are sometimes mistaken for the other. There are very knowledgeable people out there who still manage to stay very ignorant, Padawan. And there are others who think themselves ignorant and who are so wise they make the world a better place.”

His Master’s hands rubbed gentle circles into his back, and Ani hugged him tighter, feeling his heart swell because of Obi-Wan’s words.

“That’s wizard, Master”, he whispered – and then he lowered his head back on Obi-Wan’s chest, because it was warm and comfortable there, and because his Master was the best Master ever.

And on the windowsill, Valentine curled on herself, flowers in the hue of a soft, tender green, projecting soft contentment into the Force – and turning still once more.

[val-aquenta]

And hey! Bet you didn’t expect a double update, but hey I got inspired. Here for the prompt of non-attachment for Jedi June.

here on ao3

Aayla Secura:

Aayla sat on the spire, exposed to the winds high up here. The ribbons and thread tied to the barrier in front of her almost reached her face where she sat. She thought that, if she tried hard enough, she might be able to pick out her Master's ribbon, a bright yellow embroidered with green. The end, like all other beads, would hold one bead from their braids. Quinlan had said he’d chosen his piloting bead to be left up here, tinkling with the rest, considering all the help that Tholme had done to get him through piloting. Another one she thought she might recognise was a dark purple ribbon with gold beads and a large green one, carved with the symbol for lightsaber studies, likely Master Windu’s ribbon. 

Aayla's ribbon sat in her hand, a bright blue with a few dark brown beads and one rather large grey one dedicated to her general education. She thumbed the bead thoughtfully, rubbing a finger across the smaller brown beads. On the eve of knighthood, they were meant to come here, meditate, tie their ribbon and leave it behind. Part of their life was ending and they couldn’t bring it with them always. Quinlan had done so, meditating for two hours before wandering back down, still as carefree and Quinlan as before. 

Aayla wasn’t so sure she could do the same. So much of her life had been defined by Quinlan. He’d rescued her with Master Tholme, and when Quinlan had felt experienced and ready to teach, he’d taken her on as a Padawan. He’d helped her work through her feelings surrounding twi’lek and their culture. The man had helped her through every obstacle, and she no longer knew if she could leave him behind. Aayla was frightened that if she let him go here, she would be unable to care like she used to before. She looked at her blue string, sparsely tied with brown beads.

Aayla supposed, however, that it was something she had to do. Her past was defined by Quinlan, that was a fact. Her future did not have to be, but it certainly could be if she desired. It was a risk that she had to take. Her Master wouldn’t be hers anymore, but they could still be in each other's life nonetheless. 

“I can let you go.” She mumbled under her breath, tracing the edges of brown beads. “I will let you go.” She continued mumbling, closing her eyes and her hands moving almost of their own accord. “I am letting you go.” Her hands tied a knot, familiar and common throughout the universe. “I have let you go.” She blinked, her hands back on her lap and her string fluttering in the breeze. The light caught another Jedi’s translucent beads, reflecting it in all hues across the spire and Aayla smiled. She was to be a Knight soon, a Jedi apt for solo missions. Her future awaited. She took a moment to bask in the sun, breathing in the peace up here, far away from most people before she stood and began her walk down the spire. 

Mace Windu:

Mace Windu had climbed the spire an hour ago. It was so quiet and he was alone up here. In his pocket, the ribbon weighed heavier than it should. It was purple and gold, what Cyslin said were his colours. He’d honoured his Master with the green mastery bead and, when he’d shown his ribbon to her, Cyslin had gotten slightly teary-eyed, tracing the gold beads with her finger. “It’s wonderful, my Padawan.” She had looked up from the ribbon, purple eyes focusing on him. “I’m proud of you.” Her praise was offered with a smile and Mace had ducked his head, slightly embarrassed before looking at her with gratefulness. She’d affectionately brushed his braid before pushing him out the door and up the tower. 

Now he sat, staring at his hands. He had never really thought about Cyslin and his relationship in connection with how it would continue in the future and, truth be told, he was rather frightened. They were friends, almost equals, so he knew that it was likely that they would remain in contact at the very least, but he knew that some of the closeness would be gone. 

Cyslin’s ribbon had not been described to him, and he could not pick it out from the bunch, but the entire picture of it was rather beautiful. Different colours and different additions. There was beading, embroidery, little bells that tinkled in the breeze, or even lace. Mace brushed his hand through the bunch, feeling the little beads and bells brush against his fingers. There were stories, he was sure, related to every scrap of fabric or thread. That distressed green fabric with embroidered flowers, that braided yarn with an odd combination of silver, brown, red, and pink, even the strange stiff twisted material that twirled and twirled in the wind. Perhaps, he thought, he might draw this. Mace took what he would term a mental screenshot of the image, willing himself to remember. 

Stiff fingers went to his ribbon and pulled it out, admiring the colours once more. It felt too heavy for such a small thing. Mace turned it over and over idly as he thought it over. He was certain that both he and Cyslin would remain friends at the very least. Cyslin was close with her former Padawan Ileria, so there was no reason for him to think that he would not be welcome either. His hands stopped turning over the ribbon and leaned forwards, tying the ribbon in the middle of a bunch where there was an empty place, likely where an old ribbon had frayed and flown away. 

It felt almost too easy, and Mace was worried he was half-assing it. He watched the ribbon fluttering in the breeze, dancing this way and that way before he turned his eyes over the Coruscant horizon. He wouldn’t say that Coruscant’s horizon was the prettiest, not by far as Lathle and its moons existed after all, but Mace would venture and say that most Jedi found it comforting for its sense of home. The hum of speeders was… audible but hardly so. Most of all, the wind was what he heard. 

Mace took a moment to breathe in the air, polluted by the Coruscanti population, before he stood up. He brushed some of his hair, looking at his braid for a moment. Mace looked at the length, noting how it was somewhat shorter than most, but filled with threads and braids. It would be gone soon. He stretched his back and took one last look over the horizon, before turning and walking down the stairs once more. 

Luminara Unduli:

Many mirialans had similar knighthood ribbons. They usually had a base that was the colour of their skin or their lightsaber colour, with black beads and a personal touch. Luminara hadn’t done that. She was known by most of the temple as a more traditional mirialan, wearing the traditional garb, headdress, and jewellery. It did not make her a ‘better’ mirialan, Luminara thought, simply another one. Because of that, her ribbon had been inspired by the jewellery. Gold, black and red with hints of green. It had been somewhat expensive and she knew there would be some Jedi who would disapprove, but she did not care. They followed their Jedi path their way, and she followed hers.

The ribbon had been switched for black fabric, similar to the heavy garments she would often wear. Clipped on were some mirialan badges of gold and black design, the ends had been embroidered with mirialan runes of acceptance in both red and green, and finally her mastery bead of a deep red as a finishing touch. It wasn’t over the top, not for her, but someone would have something to say about it. In Luminara’s opinion, her culture was an important aspect of her apprenticeship and not including it would be extremely strange considering how much it influenced her life in general and her life as Jedi. 

However, with the apprenticeship ending soon, Luminara wondered whether that would change. Having a mirialan Master meant that they understood the importance of their own culture, and she wondered if she might have difficulty connecting to her culture when her Master wasn’t there to help. They had been vital in establishing the interest in her culture and she worried that once her apprenticeship ended part of her would be unable to connect as she had before. 

Regardless, Luminara knew she was to be a Knight and it would come with some risks she had to be brave enough to take. Master Laetur had often said she lacked determination and that she could lose hope and be disillusioned too quickly, but Luminara knew she had to do this. Her fabric was tied onto the rail next to another mirialan’s ribbon carefully. The badges meant it did not flutter in the breeze as most did but that did not matter. She let her fingers linger over the heavy material for just a moment before she was turning and heading down the spire.

Anakin Skywalker:

Anakin’s meditation was… not exactly there. It wasn’t grand, and there wasn’t much of it. He knew what was expected. To spend at the very least an hour, more likely two, contemplating his relationship with his Master, and then letting it go. Acknowledging that it was ending and it would not be the same. Anakin had tied his orange thread, Naboo pendants and one mastery bead on it, off first thing, figuring that he could always meditate deeper on it later. His knighthood was important and he had to reach it quickly. With the war going on, he was… well anxious to end it. For his wife and for the Republic.

He knew this whole thing was meant to symbolise letting go of the past in general, as well as being focused on the apprenticeship of the individual, but Anakin thought it was somewhat strange. Part of life was keeping what you had safe. Force knows he would do anything he could to keep Padmè safe, to keep their love alive. Padmè, Obi-Wan, and the Jedi were important to him, so it followed that he would try and keep them safe. 

Anakin clenched and unclenched his hand methodically on his lap. He was still getting used to the mech hand and, with both Padmè and Obi-Wan’s help, the process was getting easier. He knew that when he was Knight, and when he even became a Master, Obi-Wan would be there. The ginger man was a stable rock who would always be there for him. Anakin would always be there for Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan would do the same. It was basic knowledge. Their apprenticeship might be almost over, but that did not mean they were going to be separated. 

Anakin took a gaze at his thread once more, where it sat, tied to a section of railing with few neighbours. He’d done what was expected of him on his path to knighthood, and now nothing was holding him off from becoming a Knight and soon a Master. He took a breath of the air, not fresh like it was on Naboo, before he stood up, stretching his back and walking back down. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi:

Obi-Wan did not get to wander up the spire prior to his knighthood as he dreamt of doing for so much of his life. Instead, Qui-Gon had been cut away from his life and become one with the Force in the space of one breath to the next. He traced Qui-Gon’s still hand, flinching at the cold that had replaced the warmth of life. He felt wrung out, tired from crying and feeling so much. “I wish you were here.” He whispered to the dark. “You would know what to do.” Qui-Gon did not respond, he never would. Not again.

Obi-Wan’s hand brushed away hairs from his face, looking at the still face, serene in death. He almost looked like he was sleeping. With the dark, the only light coming from the stars and moon out, he might as well have been. “I don’t know what to do,” Obi-Wan admitted, wondering if perhaps his heart still had to catch up with the knowledge that Qui-Gon was dead. Perhaps that was why he kept talking to the shell. It was that or the fact that he could not stand the quiet otherwise. 

Qui-Gon had once described the spire. Reminiscing on the threads that flew in the wind, some frayed and no longer recognisable, some new and so colourful. Beads that clacked against each other every time the wind blew. ‘It is… free up there. You could scream and no one would know.’ Qui-Gon had said. Obi-Wan had always wanted to go there, but he supposed he never would. He would be knighted on Naboo for killing the Sith, and then he would have a Padawan of his own. That was the plan. ‘Train the boy.’ Qui-Gon had also said, and Obi-Wan was loyal. Even though part of him was happy to train Anakin, the young child was quite adorable and had already made quite the impression, another part wanted to remain a Padawan and be able to climb the spire. He supposed, in its own twisted way, Qui-Gon’s death and his subsequent grief could be its own trip up the spire. A cruel lesson, but a lesson nonetheless. 

Obi-Wan bent his head until he could press a soft kiss against Qui-Gon’s forehead. “I miss you.” He rested his forehead against Qui-Gon’s. “Goodbye master.”

[donthatethenerds]

SWTCW- Fix it AU

I recently re-wrote an old AU of mine, one where Ahsoka is adopted by Padme and Anakin, and eventually finds out that she is a big sister. You can read it here.

@captainadwen reblogged it, and added this comment in the tags:

Fix it AU? You got it.

.........

Ahsoka is adopted by Anakin and Padme. Ahsoka and Anakin practically clear out their entire living space at the Temple so they can move in with Padme. Ahsoka gets her own room; the walls are soon covered in notes and drawings and photos. Regardless of how awful the day was, the three of them get to go home and make dinner together, laugh together.

On one such night, after a horrible mission that kept them apart for weeks, Anakin has an epiphany. He's sitting on the couch, arm wrapped around Padme's shoulders. She's leaning into him, resting her head on his chest, reading from the book on her lap. Ahsoka is on his other side. She fell asleep some time ago. Thanks to faulty intel and a split second distraction, there's a bandage covering most of her back and right lekku. She shakes a little, mumbles something, but a gentle pulse along their training bond is enough to quell the nightmares. The dinner dishes are stacked in the sink, there's three mugs of tea sitting on the table in front of them. And he realizes, in this moment, this is what he wants. All he wants. Forever.

The next morning, Anakin tells Ahsoka he's planning to leave the Order, as soon as the war is over. There's an argument, Ahsoka doesn't want to leave Barriss, Obi-Wan, Plo-Koon. The Order is all she's ever known. Anakin tells her that he's insanely proud of her, but she wasn't raised to be a Jedi. She was raised to be a soldier. Ahsoka shuts down, stunned. She doesn't want to believe it.

Anakin leaves her alone with her thoughts. After a while, she goes and hugs Anakin, apologizes for yelling. He apologizes too, tells her that she'll be a great Jedi, that he'll stay until she's Knighted. Padme says she doesn't want to be a Senator forever, but that Ahsoka will always have a home with them, that they'll support her no matter what she wants.

Ultimately, it's Ahsoka who leaves the Order first. She spends time in the Underworld of Corusant, learning from Rafa and Trace. She learns more about what it means to really be a Jedi. She's reunited with Anakin shortly before the Siege of Mandalore, and ends up going with him to rescue the Chancellor.

Upon their return to Corusant, Padme tells Anakin she's pregnant. Anakin is so excited and terrified at the same time. He doesn't tell Ahsoka right away, only that he has to leave the Order, has to go to Naboo and he'll be back as soon as he can. She wants to know what's going on, but Anakin asks her to trust him. And she does.

So Anakin resigns from the Order and leaves with Padme for Naboo. Ahsoka asks the Council if she can return to the Order, and they eagerly accept, still reeling from Anakin's departure. But she has two conditions: that she be promoted to Knight Intiate, a long forgotten rank marking the transition from Padawan-hood to Jedi Knight. She also asks to be assigned to finish her training under Obi-Wan Kenobi. Their relationship is still healing following her trial, but she knows that Anakin would want someone looking after him.

Obi-Wan accepts, believing this whole thing to be another one of Anakin's wild schemes. The Dark Side makes him feel heavy and clouded. The path forward is uncertain, and he is struggling to find a direction.

Anakin is now far away from the influence of the Chancellor. So Palpatine's attention turns to what he believes to be the next best thing- his renegade student, already suspected of treason, thinking it'd be easy to turn her raw power into a tool to be used by the Sith. If he gains her trust, he can easily get Anakin back under his control.

Or so he thinks. Ahsoka is no longer a youngling, worried about being expelled from the Order if she steps out of line. She does digging of her own. With Rex's help and Echo's information, she's able to uncover Order 66. Using her contacts in the Underworld, Ahsoka has an assassin take out the Chancellor. Bail Organa is temporarily put in power, and the Empire is destroyed before it's even begun.

Ahsoka becomes a full Knight within a year. She is Knighted at sunset, the reds and golds of Corusant's sky making the entire chamber glow. As she kneels before him, Anakin removes her Padawan braid, the one he's carried with him since that awful day the Jedi abandonded her, the one she wears to take her Trials. She rises as Ahsoka Tano-Skywalker, Jedi Knight of the New Republic. Obi-Wan and Yoda are teary-eyed, seeing their child born of innocence and raised in war come through strong and smiling. Padme is there too, so is Plo Koon. He's holding Leia, while she holds Luke. And a dozen or more members of the 501st, the 212th, and the Wolfpack that crowded in cheer her on. Their vod'ika finally achieving her dream.

With the Council's blessing (not that she gave them much choice), Ahsoka leaves for Naboo and establishes the New Dawn Jedi Temple. She takes in Force-sensitives that want to develop their abilities but not formally join the Jedi, and Jedi that don't subscribe to the traditionalist values of the Code. Jedi are welcome to marry, have children, leave and resume their service as they wish. Obi-Wan is eventually coerced into joining them, taking the role of Grand Master. Qui-Gon appears to him often, and never leaves without telling Obi-Wan he's proud of him.

Padme and Anakin are allowed to rest, without the pressures of being Queen or a Jedi General or a Senator. Anakin enjoys being a husband, a father, helping others as a volunteer mechanic. He stops having nightmares so much. Luke and Leia grow up learning from their big sister, from all of their "Uncles" in the GAR that move to Naboo or find their own paths across the galaxy.

Five years after Ahsoka's trial, she returns to Corusant to visit old friends. She stops by the Senate, the New Republic is the definition of transparent. The farthest reaches of the Outer Rim no longer feel ignored. While there, she formally petitions for Barriss Offee's release. The new judicial committee are hesitant, naturally, but Ahsoka insists that she will assume complete responsibility for her actions.

Luminara, battle-weary and uncertain, agrees to help Ahsoka. They take Barriss to Naboo, under strict supervision, and Barriss gets the help she needs, learning of what Ahsoka has done and how the Jedi were manipulated into needless destruction. Ahsoka and Barriss repair their relationship, slowly, taking tiny steps. Barriss dedicates herself to healing, and raising the younglings that are brought to the Dawn Temple.

Padme wakes up one morning, finding Anakin's side of the bed empty. She wanders out to the backyard. Sitting there, she finds her husband holding the twins (now 6) in his lap. They're still squirmy, trying to meditate like their Dad. Ahsoka sits next to them, holding one of his hands. Their bond fully open, they begin each day like this, immersed in the Force, in the love that has held their family together. Padme goes back inside to start breakfast. The sun continues to rise, a new day begins. Trouble still remains, as it always will in the galaxy, but for the first time in a long time- there is a new hope that stands uncorrupted.

[meandmyechoes]

Okay, I’m super down for the debate of if Snips is the little sister or first daughter, so thanks for trying to start it. (They can be both but eldest daughter is best for maximum pain and makes more sense with how she relates to people outside of the master/padawan relationship, like Padmé and Anakin. Plus, older sister Ahsoka to the SkyTwins is what dreams are made of.)

Oh, glad to see my opinion shared!

I agree that the complete answer is of course both because that's the complexity and weight of the familial dynamics of our found family, especially when you add in other people like Obi-wan, Padme and Rex.

It's just that I've been seeing a lot lately of people referring to 'little sister' after Ahsoka refer herself to that. The line spoke of her perception while I raised the question to study how Anakin is attached to her and its effect on him. 

Ahsoka is more often referred to the daughter Anakin and Padme never get to raise before S7 came out. It came up especially with 304, 310, 418, when it seems like they were co-parenting.

To throw in to the mix is the comparison with the typical Jedi Master/Padawan dynamic. Because of the ages apart and hierarchy, the typical pair, for example Luminara and Barrisss, are more like parent and child. However, the stereotype does not apply to Anakin/Obi-wan/Ahsoka (between any two of them). The three sides of this triangle is dependent and their roles shift all the time. Again, what makes them fascinating.

Anyway, I don’t think Anakin would’ve stopped at ‘little sister’ level of protective-ness, and he took on a HUGE responsibility agreeing to train her. Or, I will make the distinction that, Anakin feels responsible for Ahsoka becoming the person she is, that he put a part of himself in her, because that was what being a teacher means. He expects of her highly and is proud to have her as his student, his achievement. and I love Dadnakin.

[coruscantguard]

Head canons about nim? (Which, your tags are filling me with Fear)

Oh, Nim. Nim, Nim, Nim. I am DELIGHTED you asked about Nim.

(regarding this ask game-- send me a character and i’ll write you four headcanons)

Warning for canonical child death with all of this one, because, uh, it’s Nim.

Headcanon A: realistic

Nim Pianna and Kit Fisto were friends!

I like to place Kit on the holy fuck you are an absolute BABY why are you offering to adopt a traumatized padawan side of the scale when he becomes Bant’s master, so I usually make the age difference between them be about 7/8 years. So Bant is 13ish when Tahl dies, and Kit is 20/21ish, and that means that he was about 14/15 in 48BBY, which is when Nim died. 

One of the most impactful memories Kit has from his padawan days is Nim’s death. That’s what, I think, really was a “before” and “after” moment for him, and I think that also played a huge role in him, a) becoming one of the best lightsaber duelists in the Order, b) deciding to take on Bant at such a young age, and c) wanting to become a Jedi Consular, a role which very rarely had lightsaber combat. Anyway, Nim was the troublemaker in their little duo, but they both acted really sweet, so they were rarely connected to any of their crimes. They definitely grew up as crechelings together, and they ended up becoming friends because they were both incredibly quiet, and thus gravitated towards each other. Also, Nim was a shit swimmer, and Kit never failed to tease her about it. She got revenge by taking advantage of his vertigo whenever he got out of the pool to trip him.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Nim was the bane of Count Dooku’s fucking existence, and the thing is, Dooku didn’t even mind it that much. Rael Averross took on a promising padawan. Rael also took on a padawan who didn’t care that he was an unconventional Jedi Knight, who was a little shit underneath the shyness. Nim was a lot like Ahsoka, because I like those Anakin-Ahsoka Rael-Nim parallels, and Nim was a lot like Obi-Wan, because I really like those two possible Grandmaster-Grandpadawan dynamics. Her main difference from them was honestly the lack of anger/recklessness/boldness. I headcanon that Nim was excruciatingly shy, and preferred to cause her mischief on the sly. So Nim messed with Dooku on the regular, and she did it so well that he tended to be more impressed then annoyed, which definitely annoyed him further. Rael was so proud.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

There’s a little tidbit in Master and Apprentice that breaks my heart every time, and that tidbit is Nim’s look of terror and abandonment when Rael killed her. I think that the reason it was so painful for the other Jedi to be around Rael after that, the reason he was sent to Pijal so quickly was that the trauma of her death created a bad wound in the Force around Rael. They had a really strong Master-Padawan bond, and Rael probably felt her terror and abandonment as she died. I also think that because of their bond, she knew he was going to kill her before he did. Also, well... Rael was Nim’s Master, and Dooku was Rael’s Master. Dooku, master duelist, Dooku, equal to Mace Windu, Dooku, only surpassed by Yoda.

Rael was trained by one of the best. But when Nim was hit with a slicer dart and attacked him, Rael couldn’t disarm her. Couldn’t subdue her. The protege of one of the best goddamn duelers in the Order, and he had to kill his own Padawan in a lightsaber duel. And then for Qui-Gon Jinn to die in a lightsaber duel all those years later?

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

It’s implied in Master and Apprentice that Obi-Wan doesn’t really know about Nim’s death until he looked into it on his own. I call bullshit. Obi-Wan was nine when she died. Nine. He was, at most, five years younger than her. Even though he probably didn’t know her personally, he almost definitely knew someone who did. And the Jedi are a small group, okay? This is the equivalent of headline news for them. When there’s a killing in a town that at it’s peak had 10,000 people, it’s a pretty big deal. Plus, a lightsaber duel is extremely rare anyway, (at least in 48BBY,) and the Jedi are, at this point, still peacekeepers. It’s abnormal for missions to get that violent. That fact alone would have made the Temple rumor mill. So, it would be impossible to keep an event like Nim’s death from the younglings at the Temple. It doesn’t matter how much the adults would want to-- it could have never happened. People talk, and children are very good listeners, especially when the speaker doesn’t want them to be listening. If they didn’t explain what had happened to the younglings, the rumors would have spiraled completely out of control. Therefore, I think Nim’s death defined a whole generation of Jedi. It’s a canonical horror story-- her body was taken over by a slicer dart, which is notoriously faulty technology, it shouldn’t have happened. Her mind was still her own, she was forced to attack her Master, and he killed her, and that shouldn’t of happened. She was 14, only a year into her training, and she was killed by the person who was supposed to protect her, the person she trusted implicitly. That is what Obi-Wan grew up knowing, what Quinlan grew up knowing, what Luminara and Depa and all the other younglings and padawans at the time of her death had lurking in the back of their minds as they grew up. ...Yeah. Also, Force ghost Nim! Force ghost Nim! Force ghost Nim!

[hungrywhovianjedi]

Twin Moons

Chapter one of my Star Wars A/U fic

read the epilogue here  also find the full fic on my FF.net and AO3 here FF AO3

premise:  Obi-Wan never took Luke to Tatooine in fact they overshot the force forsaken dustball completely and instead Luke grew up on the planet Lothal being trained to become a Jedi like his father before him. Ezra Bridger is an orphan loner who only makes an exception to his solitude for one boy. The boy who helped him out when he was seven, and that Ezra always seems to get into trouble.

Chapter summary: snapshots into the life of Obi-Wan and Luke as the boy grows up on Lothal, and a meeting with a hungry little boy who really wants a jogan fruit

Lothal wasn’t an unpleasant planet, but from the start one thing was clear to Obi-Wan, it wouldn’t be somewhere they could stay forever. The one blessing of the place was the abundant amount of untouched countryside. It was in this countryside, a fair distance from Capital City, that he purchased a small hut that he and Luke could live in. 

Luke… Luke was everything he believed Padme would have hoped for. His blonde curls and bright blue eyes were a spitting image of Anakin, and Obi-Wan would have been lying if he said that it didn’t send a pang of grief through his heart. Then there was raising the boy. Sure he had practically raised the child’s father, but that was from the age of nine on, he wasn’t unfamiliar with the needs of an infant, he had taken time in the Temple to assist Master Yoda with caring for the younglings that was not to say he was particularly good at it however. 

Exactly how bad he was at caring for younglings became clear when Luke began crawling, and he realized how hazardous everything was, that was also when the old jedi had stopped carrying his saber with him in the house. These things truly come into focus, when a nine month old, trying to pull himself up your leg accidentally activates your lightsaber nearly losing his toes. No no he wasn’t very good at this. 

When Luke was two, he began to train the boy. Luke was a natural, already he was able to call a toy from across the room, or even hold full conversations with his “uncle” through the force. Obi-Wan thought that better. He was Luke’s uncle, had loved his father like a brother. So he became Uncle Ben. The first thing that Ben needed to teach him, was something not commonly taught in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, shielding. It was something Masters taught padawans before taking them on risky missions, but now it had begun to be a necessity of life. 

He had seen the propaganda being streamed on the holonet, had seen Vader, a ghastly specter in all black, flanked by his enforcers. The inquisitors, force sensitive beings whose only driving goal was to hunt down the last of the “treasonous jedi” Vader’s robotically deep voice had informed the galaxy. He and his inquisitors would not rest until the galaxy was safe from the Jedi at last. It was horrifying, each one wore a mask but one, a tall man that Ben knew well. He had been a kind man, a guardian of the temple one he had spoken with often. He didn’t know his name, but his sorrow at seeing what he had become was great. The others were likely fallen Jedi as well, he didn’t want to know who else might be behind those masks, it was bad enough the force screamed at him who was behind the mask of Vader. The flashing lights on the front, others would assume were a control panel, likely thinking the man was no more than a machine, but Ben knew could hear the labored breathing of a man who would die without that mask. He did that. 

Luke stirred in his arms, the toddler having fallen asleep while they watched Holo-programs for children. A stab of guilt went through him. He had cursed this child’s father to a fate worse than death by leaving him on the shores of Mustafar. 

“I’m sorry Anakin, I failed you. I failed you” he looked down at Luke, “but I won’t fail him. I promise now I will not make the same mistakes with your son that I made with you”

Attachments were forbidden in the Jedi order, yet, despite trying his hardest to keep to the code, when he felt the love of attachment to his padawan, and even his grand padawan Ahsoka, he never saw what harm could come of it. He did however see the other side of it. Luminara... her padawan Barris, he had seen the hands off way she handled the girl, and in the end it led to her destroying the lives of not only those injured or killed in the blast, but Ahsoka and Anakin as well. He knew that the way the Council had ruled at that time had been one of the final blows to Anakin’s trust in them. That was the action that had lost him his padawan, it was why he didn’t go to the council for help when things got bad. 

Luke wouldn’t have an easy time being raised in the ways of the force, but Ben knew he had little choice in the matter. The boy must learn to protect himself, especially if Yoda was right, and this boy and his sister were the last hopes of the galaxy. 

The third year came and went quickly, and Ben crafted Luke his first practice Saber, really it was a wooden rod, since they didn’t have access to the Kyber needed to make a real practice saber, and began teaching the boy his forms. They did it by moonlight outside, as the hut was too small and doing it during the day would draw too much attention. 

He taught the boy his basic Katas, he began with form one, and realized how difficult it would be to teach a three year old child the patience needed to learn saber forms. Instead the Jedi Master made a game of it. 

It took months of their “game” Luke called it clack. Ben and Luke would each take a training saber, and they would clack them together, the goal was to break through and touch the other, and to avoid the “clack” of the sabers. Soon, he noticed Luke picking up some of his forms, as he had been careful to feed the basic stances of Shii cho into the game, and by the time his fourth birthday came Luke had learned all of the Kata’s of form one. It was then that Ben told him. Taught him that the game they played was really training to use a lightsaber. That was the first time he showed the boy his father’s saber. That was also the night that Ben told Luke a story. 

He told a story of a young queen from Naboo, and a brave slave boy from Tatooine. He told the boy the story of an army of brothers, who became like family a young woman who became their sister, and for now, he left out all the heartache that went with it, let the little one live with the happy memories of the family who would have loved him. 

By the time Luke was five, he was a natural of form one and had easily began to learn form two, it wouldn’t be long before he moved into form three Soresu, which Ben was looking forward to, his own mastery of the form making it the one easiest for him to teach. It was also when Ben began teaching Luke the way to find peace inside of the force. 

Meditation had always been Anakin’s worst skill, the boy had always had a nervousness about him, that caused him to seek out alternative methods. Luke however seemed to have Padme’s patience, as he found it easy to dive into the force. Ben barely had to guide him. 

He guided the boy with recitation of the Jedi code. 

“There is no emotion, There is peace”  Luke took a breath, “take all of your emotions, and release them, Luke” 

“There is no ignorance, there is knowledge” Ben closed his eyes taking hold of Luke in the force and guiding him, “release your questioning mind to the force, allow it to answer you” 

“There is no passion, there is serenity” The force flowed through him, “release your control, allow the force to guide you” 

“There is no chaos, there is harmony” he felt Luke relax, allowing the force to take him deeper, “in the force all is equal, feel it there balanced before you” 

“There is no death, there is only the force” Luke let out a breath, and Ben felt it too, a gentle sigh in the force, he could almost see the hands of Padme reach out and wrap around Luke. it shouldn’t be possible, non force sensitive people shouldn’t have a presence as such, even jedi do not keep their own energy when they die, yet there was no  denying Padme’s presence, just for a moment then she was gone. 

That wasn’t to be the last time he felt Padme in the force, the senator appearing that night as he did his own meditation 

“Hello Master Jedi” came the soft voice of his friend. 

“Padme, how is this possible? You were not sensitive to the force, yet I felt you with Luke and can tell you are real now” 

Padme simply smiled and sat beside him, his meditation scape the room of a thousand fountains, “I’ve never known the great Obi-Wan Kenobi to question the force” she chuckled. “I suppose you could say I’m not truly here, but part of me is. It’s hard to explain, like a piece of me stayed behind when I died, I just remember being so scared, so cold. I reached out and someone answered, and it was like I split then. A part of me, the part speaking to you now, went with Luke, I suppose as some sort of guardian. The other with Leia”

Ben rubbed at his beard, “it is somewhat of an unknown what really happens when we die. Master Yoda says we rejoin the force, yet nobody has ever spoken with someone who is dead before” 

“Now you have, I wanted to say something to you” Padme began, “Thank you, thank you for taking care of my son” 

Ben didn’t know what to say, instead he just smiled, and nodded. 

He came out of his meditation then, feeling lighter than he had for five years, confident in the fact that at least one of Luke’s parents was proud of what he was doing for their child. It was good that he came out of meditation when he did, as a sleepy Luke walked into the doorway, rubbing his eyes. 

“Ben, I had a bad dream” 

Ben smiled and opened his arms, “come here Luke, tell me about it” 

~~~~~~~~~

Luke Skywalker knew he several things fir certain. One he had no parents, Ben told him they were heroes, his father a Jedi knight. Two nobody could ever know he was a jedi, Ben hid from him the worst of it, but he was aware that they were hunted. Three Ben Kenobi was the best father figure he could have asked for. Those of course were the obvious things, he knew he was loved. He knew he was safe, but he couldn’t help but be lonely. Sure he had Ben, and he enjoyed training to become a Jedi like Ben and his father were before the purge, but Ben was the only person he knew. He was seven years old, and he had no friends. He had tried talking to the person from the dormant tether in his mind, but they didn’t seem to like him, or they didn’t know how to talk to him more likely. Ben wasn’t very willing to tell the seven year old Luke why he had a quiet tether in his mind or why it was clearly a little girl his age, maybe Ben would tell him when he got older. 

Until then, he helped Ben run the little garden behind their hut, and trained his saber katas behind the fence Ben built last summer. 

Today he was doing his katas while Ben went up on the bluff to trade with one of the traveling farmers for some of the things they didn’t grow, that he heard the hum in the force. It was odd, sounding almost like the hum that came when Ben lowered his shields to teach Luke a new skill, but different. It wasn’t a very strong hum, and he didn’t think whoever had it had been trained at all. At least not by someone like Ben, his shielding was awful! At least he assumed it was a boy, as he hooked his father’s saber back to his waist and climbed up the fence to look over. 

Huddled behind a boulder nearby, was a boy around Luke’s age, with black shaggy hair, and a dirty old orange jumpsuit. He was eyeing Ben’s Jogan tree hungrily. Luke dropped down and snuck around to the gate of the fence, and opened it. Continuing to move quietly, he moved so he was behind the same boulder as the boy. 

“Are you hungry?” Luke asked.

The boy shot up into the air with a loud scream, that made Luke giggle, and hold out the tart he had brought out for a snack after his training.

“Here, it’s a jogan fruit tart, it will be better than a raw one off of my uncle’s tree” for a moment Luke wondered if the boy spoke basic, and started to try and think of other ways he may word it, he didn’t know many languages yet, it was one of the few things that Ben had any trouble teaching him. 

“Wait, you’re just giving it to me?” oh good, he did speak basic, less struggle for him then.

Luke nodded, “Yes, Ben always says when people are hungry you should help them… so are you hungry?” 

The boy nodded enthusiastically and wolfed down the tart. Luke was shocked how quickly the sweet treat disappeared.  Then the boy grinned at him when it was gone “you’re right, that was really good”

Luke grinned back “I’m glad, my name is Luke Skywalker by the way” 

The other boy held out his hand, “Nice to meet you Luke Skywalker, my name’s Ezra Bridger” 

Luke shook his hand, he had a good feeling about Ezra Bridger, and when he reached out to the force, it seemed to have  a good feeling about him too.

[pollywritesstuff]

Chapter 1: Into Ilum

No Warnings for this one!

Hi there, as some of you may know, I am a musician and music is a huge part of my life! I really draw a ton of inspiration of it for anything I create, with that in mind I am going to insert a good song/piece that fits with the chapter - Polly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlJGI_xkraY

'Rivers of Light' by Eriks Esenvalds, it's choral, but I definitely kept it in mind for writing this first chapter

Enjoy!!

Today was the day, and Maveera couldn’t remember the last time she rolled out of bed that fast. She peered into the mirror and scowled. She looked a mess: unruly hair and too big ears and a tangled, matted braid stuck to the side of her neck with sweat. Maveera shoved her fingers into the braid, peeled it from her neck, and attempted to detangle it.

She swiftly walked to the showers, fingers still worrying the knots. She stripped her sleeping attire off and quickly began scrubbing the sweat off of her skin. Now came the ordeal of her hair. Maveera ran her hands through the wavy strands before working the braid out of its gnarled knots. For a split second she stood under the water, letting it run down her back in cool rivets. The importance of the day ahead came to the forefront of her mind, she turned off the water, and began to towel off.

She gathered her hair into a neat bun at the nape of her neck, save for the short auburn braid sticking out from below her ear. Though short, Maveera was proud of her braid.

This was one of the first trips that she took off planet in recent memory. There was a nervous energy in the air, but Maveera tried to turn that energy into something determined and brave.

Some of her crèchemates and others she didn’t recognize had begun to gather at the predetermined meeting place in the Temple Gardens. She sought out a Mirialan girl she met when the group was selected for this particular trial.

“Luminara!” Maveera shouted, jogging up to the girl.

The Mirialan said nothing but gave Maveera a small wave and her characteristic polite smile . Maveera decided to stick with her as they loaded onto the starship.The two girls sat next to each other, preparing for liftoff. Once they had left the atmosphere, a teenage Twi’lek stood up, taking command of the room of 6 children.

“Hello everybody, my name is Jarai, the Padawan of Master Windu, and as you know, we are headed to Ilum,”she spoke with a posh accent, one that you could often hear in the upper levels of Coruscant. Maveera’s mind began to wander, curious about where Jarai was born -- maybe she was the child of a wealthy, upper level family? But she was raised amongst Jedi -- could she just naturally sound like that? Are accents genetic?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a tap on the back of her hand.“Come on, let’s go meet the person who’s going to help us build our sabers,” Luminara said with a hushed voice, full of excitement.

Maveera trailed at the back of the group, her heart was racing -- who was this Jedi Master that would help build her saber?

A tinny, accented voice rang out, “Welcome, welcome, young Jedi!”

The voice belonged to… a droid? The group fanned out so that every being in attendance could see and hear the speaker, a droid, not the sage old master that Maveera expected.

To her surprise, this droid had a wealth of knowledge and so much more character than she had thought -- he shared the basic composition of a lightsaber with the group and how hilts came in all different shapes and sizes.

The group began to disperse, separating into groups of friends, but several younglings remained, wanting to know more about the lightsaber building process. “Does my saber have to be silver?” Maveera blurted without much thought. A human boy a couple paces to her left snorted in laughter and she shot him a glare.

“Of course not, the hilt of your saber is completely up to your choosing. However,I should warn you against anything that is too complex, as this is your first time building a saber,” the droid responded, seemingly confused by her question, could a droid be confused?

“Oh, um, thanks...” Maveera trailed off, she hadn’t caught the droid’s name, her face flushed with embarrassment.

“Professor Huyang,” the human boy to her left whispered, just loud enough for Maveera to hear.

“Uh, Professor Huyang,” Maveera finished her sentence, much less confident than she was at the start of it. The droid looked at her with a tilted head, but then continued on answering the questions of the curious younglings.

Feeling embarrassed from the slight outburst, Maveera slunk away from the group, head low, trying to dissolve into the steely gray background. Her attempts were shattered by none other than the human boy who had kindly reminded her of the Professor’s name.

“Hello, my name is Obi-Wan, you’re Maveera?” The boy held out his hand, and Maveera shook it. How did he know her name? She had no memory of meeting this Obi-Wan before.

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember meeting you before, did we have a meditation class together at some point?” Maveera inquired, unintentionally tilting her head to the side. Again anxiety began to fill her chest, what if she had met him before, and she just didn’t remember?

“No, I’d just heard it in passing the other day,” he said with a smile, sliding down the wall to sit against it, “You’re friends with Luminara, right?”

“I guess. I’ve only interacted with her a couple of times, since we aren’t in the same crèche,” Mav said, joining Obi-Wan on the ground.

His eyes slid to Maveera’s braid, “You’re going to be a Padawan early?” he questioned,”If I’m going to be honest, I was worried that I was never going to be picked.”

“Woah! You can never be picked? That really happens?” Maveera’s eyes went wide, suddenly feeling lucky that she had been picked before the rest of her age group. Obi Wan nodded, lips pressed together in horror. “Wow! I thought that was impossible!”

The conversation between the two died, the air buzzing with excitement. Maveera closed her eyes and tried to tap into the Force Maybe the solution to her nerves was to give in and be excited.

The tension snapped when Jarai called the group to their feet, “Alright young Jedi, we are just about to Ilum.f you’re sensitive to extreme cold, please be bundled up by the time that we land!” Maveera jumped to her feet and ran to the cubby that she had stuffed her heavy coat in. She gripped the sleeves of her regular robes and slipped her arms into the insulated sleeves of her coat, and tugged the zipper closed on the garment.

The group of soon to be Padawans had gathered on the floor, various quantities of layers on each of the younglings in accordance with their species' respective cold sensitivity. Maveera spotted Luminara towards the front of the pack, flanked by Obi-Wan, and wormed through the group to join them. As soon as the door whoooshed open, a dry, freezing air filled the cabin. Slowly but surely, Jarai pushed out into the cold, followed by a much smaller group of pre-teens, their mood rapidly dropping.

“Alright guys, I need your help to open up the temple, so we can get safely inside,” Jarai explained in an almost too excited voice, considering she must be just as cold as everyone else, “Together we need to lift this ice wall. I need your help, or you will not be able to continue on to the Gathering.” The group rushed forward to open the door, putting their hands on it to see if they could physically push it away. However, the solution wouldn’t be a challenge of physical strength, but the strength of their connection to the Force. One by one, the group came to this realization and spread out in front of the shard, and hands raised and eyebrows furrowed.

Maveera reached out with her left hand, pushing lightly at the sky, sending her energy out and towards the cool ice. It flattened out joining the concentrated energy of her peers. The group pushed and pulled, side to side, until they discovered that they could lift it. They focused their energy to the bottom of the ice shard, and slowly, the obstacle groaned up the ice shelf.

Jarai clapped her hands together, “Alright! Good work, friends, let’s head inside!” With that, the group shuffled into a long corridor. On the other side of that corridor, Master Yoda sat before a sparkling, frozen waterfall that threw gorgeous, glimmers of light onto the icy walls. The group gathered around the Grand Master.

“Little ones, sit and listen,” Yoda’s voice filled the entire cavern, drawing the group further in and down to his level, “Facing the trial of the Gathering, you will soon be. Into the underground of Ilum you will go. True to the Light, you must stay, for ahead lies a test of your connection to the Force.”

As Master Yoda spoke, Maveera felt a tug in her chest. Something- or someone- was calling out to her from just behind the frozen curtain of the waterfall.

Maybe it’s a crystal? Not just a crystal, but my crystal?

The sound of ice scraping against ice somewhere above the group rang out into the cavern, and ended with a click. An impossibly bright stream of light shot into the frozen waterfall, melting away the ice to reveal the entrance of the caves.

”Just in time, we are Padawans.” Yoda chuckled and struck his stick against the ice, “May the Force be with you, young Jedi. Await you, your kyber crystals do.”

The group stumbled to their feet and cautiously began to enter the cave.

“Be aware that you must leave the caves by nightfall, or you will be trapped inside the caves till the next rotation,” Jarai yelled down the cave, towards the group. Maveera could feel a wave of concern coming from the older Padawan, but disregarded it -- it can’t be too terrible, right? This is a Jedi temple, not the underbelly of Coruscant, a place the younglings were banned from going. If even possible, a colder gust of air hit Maveera’s face, and if she weren’t so excited she would’ve complained about it.

“Have you felt anything yet?” Luminara asked as the groups split and went down different pathways. Maveera had felt a tug before entering the cave, but now that she was finally in it, she felt nothing at all.

She shook her head and sighed, “No, nothing.”

“I haven’t either,” Luminara worried the edges of her hood. .

“Maveera- wait! I think I might feel something, in... that direction! D’you mind  if we split up even more?” Obi-Wan asked, his eyes gleaming in the soft light. Maveera and Luminara looked at each other, and came to silent consensus.

“Yeah of course, good luck!” Maveera said with a smile. Maybe she was a bit jealous, but she resolved not to let it get to her. She reached out further this time, letting her energy spread and push against the walls and ceiling of the cave. Once again she started to feel a tugging in her chest, a low deep melody coming from a turn in the pathway ahead. Without a word to Luminara, she ran. She heard the other girl yelling after, but it was drowned out by the low thrum of energy tugging at the core of Maveera’s being. The path she followed twisted down, the light disappearing completely, throwing the youngling into complete darkness. Maveera thought she felt something brush the back of her leg, and she whipped around.

What if you’re not alone? A traitorous voice in her head whispered.

Fear began to bubble up in her stomach, what felt like a cold hand wrapped around her shoulder and suddenly tugged her to the ground. The air was knocked out of her chest with a painful force: she wasn’t alone. The tug in her chest was unbearable, and seemed to keep her magnetized to the ground. She felt her attacker above her, something about this being rankled against her nerves and tore at her self control. Instead of expelling energy like most Force-wielding beings, this one was a vacuum.

What had Master Yoda said?

Stay true to the Light.

Maveera reached within herself, and found a wellspring of strength, pulling herself off the ground, breaking free of the magnetism of the cave floor. For the second time, she picked up a ruthless sprint, finding her way back up the deep tunnel that she had just raced down.

Even though she was going through territory she had recently passed through, Maveera didn’t recognize anything about the stretch of cave that she was in. The next step forward was met with an ice-covered floor.Maveera slipped and began to slide uncontrollably down the tunnel. She tried reaching out to the walls to slow herself to a stop, but she was going too fast and scraped her hands on the walls. She recoiled with a stinging pain in her palms. Zooming down the icy tunnel, Maveera caught a glimpse of Obi-Wan, and she yelled out to him as she wizzed by. Just ahead there was an opening in the tunnel, but as Maveera reached it she realized that this opening was a drop off. She once again reached out to the walls around her and fought through the pain, trying to slow herself down. However, her attempts were in vain, and she tumbled over the drop off.

Digging her hands into the rock just under where she had fallen from, she tried to climb. The cuts and scrapes on her hands hurt, and the pain was almost overwhelming. Out of nowhere, a hand gripped onto her wrist, and Obi-Wan’s face peaked out from above her. He helped her climb the rest of the way up and into the tunnel. The two younglings collapsed against the cave walls, out of breath.

“Now, how did you get yourself into that predicament?” Obi-Wan said with slight amusement in his voice.

Maveera rolled her eyes, not wanting to admit that she was running away from something. “I thought I felt something and began running towards it, and I guess that I need to look where I’m going better now, especially with all this- ice?” Maveera said, looking down at the floor that they were sitting on, expecting ice but there was none to be seen,“This is a really weird place, I just can’t figure it out.”

“Have you not found your crystal yet? I found mine right before I saw you,” Obi-Wan stood up, “Are you okay?”

Maveera stood up and began to think: maybe she couldn’t force her crystal out of hiding, maybe she just had to wait for it to come for her.

“Yeah, I will be.. I’m glad you found yours though… Did you do anything specific to find it?” She asked, maybe Obi-Wan could help her figure it out.

“I don’t know how to explain it, but I just… felt it. I’m sure you’ll find yours, Maveera,” he responded, “I’m going to head to the entrance; may the Force be with you,” and with that he turned the corner and was gone.

Maveera exhaled, and returned to sit cross-legged on the floor. Maybe meditating would help calm her nerves and just maybe reveal the path she needed to follow.

Once she had settled, Maveera began to sense the distant calls of kyber crystals. It sounded like music. Some of the crystals held a high, repeating counter melody, fading and growing around the constant sound of the Force. The girl slowly rose to her feet, hearing the call of a beautiful, woeful tenor. Without opening her eyes, she followed the sound.

Again, she found herself traveling downward, into the depths of Ilum. The shadows consumed her small form, but this time she didn’t allow her fear of the dark to pin her to the cold ground. The tenor voice was joined by so many more, all woven together in perfect harmony. The sheer amount of sound, plus the constant thrum of the Force was too overwhelming, and Maveera opened her eyes.

The dazzling glow of the ice was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen and Maveera was mesmerized. She ran her hands along the translucent walls of ice and felt the smooth cold under her fingertips. Shaking out of her enchantment, Maveera once again started her search. Despite the frigid temperature in the cavern, she felt a warmth radiating from behind her. A small exposed gap of rock broke free of the ice, and embedded in it a gleaming crystal. Maveera reached out and reverently pulled the crystal from the rock, letting the heavy warmth of it rest in her palm. A faint echo of the tenor line rang through the icy cavern.

With her strength renewed Maveera began towards the entrance of the caves, the path suddenly much clearer than it had ever been before.

[icsek]

Sorry for the delay guys! Real life and that whole job thing completely knocked me off my schedule. I’ll hopefully get everything else posted this week as well!

Time was hard to keep track of without the Force, a chrono, a window, or a night cycle for the lights. Distantly, Anakin recognized that he was under constant surveillance, though he wasn’t quite sure why. Other than the migraines that continued to plague him, he was healthy and whole.

Visitors were few and far between, mostly Master Che or Master Luminara, though Yoda had paid him a visit a few times. When he asked about a comm unit or datapad, he’d been denied both under the order of not straining his head too much. At least the suppression collar had been removed, giving him some limited access to the Force.

Boredom had been a nemesis of his since he’d been a small boy on Tatooine and had only gotten worse as he grew older. Even when on leave, he kept himself busy with any number of little projects. There was something else he usually did when he was on planet too, but he couldn’t remember and forcing it caused migraines. He really must’ve hit his head and suffered some serious psychic backlash for there to be this many holes.

Loneliness was starting to get to him now too. He’d not been this alone in… Ever. On Tatooine he was always with someone. Once he became a padawan, Obi-Wan’s presence was always there in the background. As a Knight and General, he was always surrounded by a number of clones or personnel if he wasn’t with Obi-Wan or Ahsoka.

A pang of hurt rang through him, echoing through the void. Ahsoka. Master Luminara had told him what happened before, one of the things he’d forgotten. Anakin wasn’t sure what he had felt when it actually happened or what the specific events leading up to it were, but now he felt a sense of sorrowful pride for her. He was sad that she had decided to leave, yet proud that she had done what she felt to be the right path for her, even if it wasn’t the path he would’ve chosen. If anyone understood the struggle of wanting to stay because of duty and leave because of heart…

Fingers pressed against his temples as a wave of agony filled his head. He’d never wanted to leave the Order. He was happy as a Jedi. He wanted nothing more than to eventually have a seat on the Council and retire from the field to teach youngling classes. His thoughts were so confusing, his, but not his, there, but not there.

He took a deep breath and held it, working through one of the first meditation exercises Obi-Wan had taught him as a padawan. Slowly, the pain receded and his thoughts untangled as he sunk deeper into the Force. He let himself drift with the gentle current surrounding him, wrapping its tranquility around him like a cloak.

Seeing Anakin looking truly at peace in meditation took Obi-Wan’s breath away. Gone were the stress lines that had started to mar his young face in the past few years. Gone was the heavy weight that had been set on his shoulders far too early. He was beautiful, everything Obi-Wan believed he would be if he found that inner peace.

Originally, he’d come with the intention of confessing his feelings and attachm-, love , for the man, but now he second guessed his decision. Maybe the Council had been right about Anakin. Stripped of his attachments he would no longer be pulled between duty and his devotion, free to be a Jedi in truth. Without grasping for balance from someone else, he’d be forced to find it within himself.

Obi-Wan had already fucked it up one time, nearly costing Anakin his life. Would he really risk his life or sanity again over some feelings?

When Anakin slowly returned to the present from his meditation and smiled so freely as his eyes met Obi-Wan’s, he knew he couldn’t. This was Anakin’s second chance far more than his own, his chance to be the Jedi he always wanted to be, but struggled to achieve.

“Master! I’ve been worried about you. They said you were fine, but then they’ve been keeping me here so I feared the worst.” Anakin’s rambling had always been endearing, but now he saw it in an entirely different light.

“I’m quite all right, Anakin. How are you feeling? We were all rather worried about you.” He smiled and laid a hand on Anakin’s shoulder, ignoring the feelings that coursed through him at the touch.

Anakin huffed in annoyance, “Other than being utterly bored and isolated, I’m fine. The migraines only come if I try to push for missing memories too hard. Do you think they’ll let me go soon? Master Luminara is being very tight-lipped, even more than Master Che.”

Chuckling, Obi-Wan felt relieved that this mind block was holding successfully. “You know the healer types, Anakin. And neither of us have a very stellar reputation when it comes to staying put in medbay when given the option.” Those blue eyes held warmth and an openness he’d not seen since Anakin had been young. It had been his worst fear to come back in only to see those hideous yellow eyes boring into him.

“I distinctly remember that reputation coming from you, I have always been an impeccable patient.” The pouting expression on Anakin’s face didn’t quite match the twinkle of humor in his eyes.

Oh how good it felt to be teasing and joking so openly with him again. He’d missed this without even realizing it had ever left. “You aren’t going to win this one, Anakin. The Mind Healers can confirm that your memory is faulty. It’s always me who’s been the stellar patient.”

The door slid open behind them, Master Che stepping into the room. “The only thing I will confirm is that the both of you are terrible patients. It’s something that seems to be common in your lineage.” She looked at Obi-Wan giving a subtle nod of her head, “Now Obi-Wan is going to escort you to the gardens for some fresh air. No more than half an hour and if either of your heads start to hurt, return immediately.”

Anakin scrambled to his feet, his excitement and joy radiating off him in waves, “Freedom! Come on, Master!” He nearly bolted out of the door, prancing lightly on his bare feet in his enthusiasm.

Master Che fixed Obi-Wan with a knowing stare and grabbed him by his arm, “You know him the best, Master Kenobi. His Force senses are still dulled down, but it’s always up in the air with him. If he shows signs of anything, bring him right back here. Otherwise he could bring the entire Temple down if he wanted to.” A hypospray was discretely pressed into his hand which he promptly hid in his robes.

Nodding, Obi-Wan offered her a brief smile, “Of course, Master Che. There are several Masters staged along our route to the gardens just in case. I assure you, we’ll be quite alright.”

Anakin’s whining in the hall made him hurry out after him, “It’s not a race, Anakin,” he teased gently.

“You don’t understand, Obi-Wan. There’s absolutely nothing to do and they haven’t allowed me access to a comm unit or datapad. I’ve taken to meditating if only to pass the time quicker.” Anakin could still be such a child, even as a young man of twenty-four.

“I was rather impressed by your sudden proficiency with meditation, Force knows I’ve tried to teach it to you. But I’ll drop by some of your projects and your toolkit later today if they’ll let me.” The blinding smile he received in return affirmed his decision to let this be Anakin’s second chance.

Obi-Wan’s daily visits continued, much to Anakin’s delight. In his continued isolation, it was the only thing he had to look forward to each day. Usually, they would stay in his room and meditate together or work through their forms together. Sometimes, like the first day, they would go for a stroll around the Temple. He’d forgotten just how nice it was to spend time with his former Master without the pressure of missions, battles, or exhaustion.

Within a few days of Obi-Wan’s first visit, the suppression shields had been lowered on his room and the Force sang around him once again. He’d celebrated the complete return by using only the Force to put together one of the little droid projects Obi-Wan had dropped off. It was like being able to take a full breath again after drowning and reveled in it.

Today, Master Luminara had joined Obi-Wan in his visit and they had walked the Temple together in a relative, peaceful silence. When they had arrived to one of the atrium gardens, Anakin had promptly kicked off his shoes and dug his toes into the grass and dirt before flopping down and sighing in contentment.

A chuckle made him look up to where Obi-Wan was smiling at him fondly, “Already tired of walking, Anakin?”

“I miss the grass and the dirt of the gardens. It’s so alive with the living Force, I had taken it for granted when I was able to come and go as I pleased.” He sat up, brushing his fingers over the soft blades of grass.

Master Luminara gave him one of her half smiles, “Then you’ll be pleased to know that you’ve been released from the healers today,” she stopped him with a mildly scolding look as he opened his mouth, “on a few conditions. One, you’ve been released for duty into Obi-Wan’s care. You go nowhere without him, including around the Temple. Two, you will report to either myself or Master Che daily for routine checks.”

Anakin smiled teasingly at Obi-Wan, “Sounds like my first year as a padawan all over again.”

Rolling his eyes, Obi-Wan sighed, “I’m beginning to think I’m being punished for training you.”

“Awwwwe, Master, don’t be like that. You’re being rewarded by getting to be in my glorious presence all the time again.” He teased, feeling light-hearted and excited.

“Skywalker, please take this seriously. As far as we can tell you’re healed, but with the mind it’s never a sure fact. If you start to feel off or the migraines return, you need to tell one of us immediately.” She fixed him with a stern gaze, “If you don’t and another episode happens, you’ll be pulled from duty and grounded again.”

He had enough practice acting chastised and appropriately sorry from his teenage years to pull it off without a hitch, “Yes, Master Luminara.”

She bowed politely, a gesture Obi-Wan returned in full and he with a nod of his head. As soon as she left his sight, Anakin burst out in laughter and rolled in the grass. Finally, he was free, mostly. Though he never found his Master’s presence much of a burden. There were certainly much worse people to be around.

“Are you alright, Anakin?” Obi-Wan was looking at him slightly concerned.

Anakin grinned, “More than alright, Master. Far more than alright.”

[jedimasterbailey]

A sneak peak into a future chapter of my Barrisoka Post Order 66 fic. This is how I imagine Luminara and Barriss’s final conversation with each other before the bombing going. Below is a flashback Luminara experiences in her Imperial cell. Mom Lumi and daughter Barriss is the hill I’m going to die on. Link to the fic below if you aren’t already reading!

Flashback

They’re sending you away again, aren’t they? And I won’t be coming with you?” Barriss concludes in an annoyed tone surprising the older woman walking beside her.

Luminara had just exited the Council chambers with her next assignment. She and Master Vos were to go to the jungle world of Drongar to investigate suspicious Spearatist activity involving a medicinal plant known as bota. Quinlan was going in Barriss’s place so that she can help with the sick and injured. Barriss’s healing gift was proving itself more valuable each day as the beds continue to fill up with no end of the war in sight.

“And this frustrates you?” Luminara questions gently, sending calming waves of the Force to soothe her Padawan.

“Yes it does, actually.” Barriss answers sharply, causing Luminara to stop in her tracks.

“Barriss, this isn’t like you. What is it?” Luminara asks placing a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

Barriss chews her lip, “I’m afraid Master.”

“Of what darling?” Luminara presses with a reassuring squeeze.

“Can we go somewhere more quiet?” Barriss pleads gesturing to the many Jedi that walked past them in the halls.

Luminara nods and guides them in an empty meditation room where they could speak in private. The Jedi Master then motions for her apprentice to take a seat on one of the mats on the floor to which she complies. Once both women sat down, Luminara offers Barriss a warm smile.

“What’s on your mind Padawan mine?”

Barriss struggles to maintain eye contact, “Master... I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Luminara’s heart skipped a beat, “What do you mean? Are you feeling alright?”

Barriss slowly nods, “Yes, I just don’t want you to go. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Luminara deflates seeing how distraught her apprentice looked, “Tell me what’s on your heart Barriss. It hurts me to see you this way!”

Barriss steadies herself, “This war...it’s really taken it’s toll on me. The constant fighting, the death, it hurts me Master. I’m physically okay but every day I just feel myself slipping away. I hardly eat anymore, I can’t sleep without seeing people die... people I love...and they keep sending you away and I worry about you and...”

Barriss then broke into tears immediately causing Luminara to embrace the girl, rubbing soothing circles on her back as she cried.

“It’s okay Barriss... I’ve got you... Let it all out...”

And for several minutes thats how Master and apprentice stayed. While Barriss released her pain, Luminara sucked back tears of her own in order to stay strong for her Padawan. Since the war began, Luminara has despised Barriss’s involvement in it. She knew Barriss’s heightened sensitivity as a healer would make being deployed into battle difficult thus she considered bringing the idea of removing Barriss from the field to the Council. But Luminara knew that Barriss would not allow for it. It would undoubtedly hurt the young woman’s pride and possibly do more damage to her emotional health.

Luminara just couldn’t risk hurting Barriss in any way.

That’s why Luminara spent so much time over preparing for their missions. She wanted to do everything she can for the two of them to be successful, which is why their campaign on Geonosis was such a painful blow. Barriss was more than happy to utilize her photographic memory for an important assignment but it was Luminara’s plan that nearly cost the Padawans their lives. Had Barriss and Ahsoka perished, Luminara knew she would never forgive herself. She remained calm for Anakin, but little did the man know that she was falling apart on the inside as well. As much as her colleague wanted to deny it, Luminara didn’t want to give up on Barriss either. Losing Barriss would have shattered her beyond repair.

Barriss’s breathing then become more labored alerting her Master that a panic attack was underway.

“Breathe with me Barriss, stay with me. Deep breath through the nose in 3...2...1...” Luminara says before breathing deeply herself.

Barriss does as instructed and instantly grew calmer as she synchronized her breath with Luminara’s.

“That’s my girl...” Luminara whispers, kissing the top of Barriss’s head and combing her fingers through her hair.

After a moment of silence Barriss confesses, “There’s something I’ve been keeping from you...about the time I got possessed by the Geonosian parasite.”

Luminara winces at the memory, “Tell me...”

“There was a moment where I was lucid before I went unconscious, where the worm wasn’t speaking for me. I begged for Ahsoka to kill me and she told me she couldn’t and as grateful as I am... I remember feeling disappointed. I wanted to be free of the pain.” Barriss explains before Luminara pulls her chin upward.

Misty violet eyes locked on blue, “Do you still feel this way now?”

Barriss shakes her head, “No... but I fear it may happen again if something doesn’t change.”

Luminara cups Barriss’s cheeks, “Trust me when I say that I feel that same way you do about this war and our involvement in it. The Council isn’t always right, but I’m afraid our hands are tied on this one. It is up to us that we stand up for the millions who can’t defend themselves against evil. Remember what I told you when you kept having nightmares about Geonosis?”

Barriss smiles, “You mean about finding the light?”

Luminara beams with pride, pushing a stray bang from the girl’s face, “It’s always there like I’m always here. Barriss I love you and I promise that when this is all over, we will get you the help you need. I think it’s best we seek Minding services for you, maybe even some other treatment options too to help you cope. There is no shame is seeking help with needed my Padawan. And of course, I’d go with you because Force knows I’m not perfect either!”

The two women then shared a much needed laugh.

“Promise me something Barriss?” Luminara asks touching foreheads with her apprentice.

“Anything my Master.” Barriss says taking Luminara’s hands into her own.

“Stay strong my love and please if you need to talk do not hesitate to contact me. No matter the day or time, I will answer if I’m not in battle. You’ve been so brave through all of this and I’m so grateful you’ve opened up to me. When I come back, you will be receiving a couple tattoos for your courage. I couldn’t be more proud of you. “ Luminara professes before finishing with a proclamation Barriss could never see coming, “You will be a Knight very soon Barriss. You have grown into a far greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be. It will not be long before the Council sees you the way I see you.”

Barriss was speechless, but Luminara was able to see the happiness written all over her Padawan’s face. With another peck on the cheek, Luminara bids Barriss farewell.

“I have to get going now. Dont forget what I’ve said, I love you Barriss.”

Barriss then pulled them both up and gave Luminara the last hug the Jedi Master would ever receive from her Padawan.

“I love you too... May the Force be with you Master.”

[fireflyfish]

Tano And Kenobi: The Senator From Naboo

Previously on Tano and Kenobi...

Now that she has been re-accepted into the Jedi Order and named a Jedi Knight, Ahsoka Tano has some work to do. Luckily a helpful Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn is there to point her in the right direction. Senior Initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi has some training to make up for and a lesson in jar’kai waiting for him. 

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Jar’kai was amazing.

Exhausting, but amazing!

Obi-Wan could not remember the last time his arms were so tired and sore after just an hour of lightsaber practice. He happily slumped his way back to the Initiate Dormitory, shedding his robes and boots before taking a long shower in the refresher when he got to his room. After an eternity of muscle-relaxing warm water, he got out, changed into a more comfortable set of robes, and headed back out for dinner.

He was so wrapped up in the happy memories of his lesson with Master Ahsoka that Obi-Wan paid little attention to the older Padawans who were whispering about how he didn’t have a master yet.

“I can’t believe he’s still here!”

“I would have left out of shame by now.”

“My master says no one will take him. They say he’s too emotional. That he might go dark.”

“I heard he tried to ask Master Sinube. Can you believe it? How desperate do you have to be to ask that old fart?”

Holding his head high, Obi-Wan nodded pleasantly to his fellow Jedi. He had a wicked retort on his tongue but he stilled it, knowing deep in his heart that Master Ahsoka would not approve. He was going to make her proud, to show her that he was worthy of her teachings and maybe, if he was lucky, being her padawan.

So that meant Obi-Wan would just have to bite his tongue and ignore the cold-hearted nexus he found himself in line with.

“Hey, Obi-Wan!” a voice called out through the dining hall, belonging to a dark-skinned Kiffar with a golden stripe across his nose.

Who was pushing his way through the dinner crowd and making a beeline towards Obi-Wan. “Thanks for saving me a spot in line.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. “I did no such thing, Quinlan. The end of the line is back there behind Padawan Rast.”

“You are such a goody-goody!” Quinlan groaned, wrapping an arm around his friend’s shoulders and then pulling him into a headlock where he could give him some proper encouragement with his knuckles. “You were totally saving a spot for me, right?”

“Gah! Ow! Quin! That hurts!” Obi-Wan protested, smacking at his friend’s arm for release before he would have to employ more aggressive measures. “Let me go, you odiferous gundark!”

“Odiferous?” Quinlan laughed, releasing Obi-Wan with a flourish and a firm place in line behind his friend as they shuffled forward to dinner. “I will have you know I took a bath yesterday.”

Obi-Wan gently touched the top of his head and winced. “I know. I can smell.”

“So what’s this I hear about there being a new knight in the Temple?” Quinlan asked, his eyes bright with curiosity and his smile lean and curious. “Master says she’s a Togruta that grew up on the Outer Rim? And her master passed into the Force a while ago.”

The surrounding padawans seemed to inch closer to Obi-Wan and Quinlan, their arch commentaries on Obi-Wan’s presence and Quinlan’s boisterous nature forgotten in the face of news and gossip. Highly observant for an initiate, Obi-Wan chewed on his lip as he carefully thought of what to say that would sate Quin’s voracious curiosity but wouldn’t give too much away about Master Ahsoka. He felt very protective of Ahsoka and didn’t want idle gossip to cause her the kind of trouble it had caused Obi-Wan.

“Knight Tano has recently returned from an extended mission in the field,” Obi-Wan finally concluded, thanking the serving droid as he took his tray and stepped away from the food line, Quinlan right on his heels. “She’s been having trouble finding her way with the renovations and I have offered to assist her around the Temple.”

“Tano?” Quinlan echoed, flopping down opposite Obi-Wan at one of the long tables the initiates and padawans sat at. “I don’t remember a knight by that name. What does she do?”

Obi-Wan frowned off to the side, trying to stay silent.

Quinlan narrowed his eyes, his grin growing wider. “You know what she was doing, don’t you! Tell me! C’mon, Obi-Waaaaan! I swear to Yoda I won’t tell a soul!”

Shaking his head, Obi-Wan folded his arms over his chest and continued his mulish silence.

“Obi-Wan!” the Kiffar pleaded, holding up his dessert, hoping it would loosen his friend’s tongue. “I’ll give you my chocolate sponge cake!”

“No!” Obi-Wan refused, shaking his head. “I can’t. I don’t have authorization to tell you.”

“Authorization?” Quinlan gaped, his excitement growing by the minute as he was starting to imagine Knight Tano taking on whole squadrons of pirates over the misty rings of an exotic Outer Rim planet. “Is she a Shadow? Master didn’t say anything about her being a Shadow!”

“Quinlan!” Obi-Wan hissed, leaning under the table to give his friend a good kick in the shins. “Shut your karking mouth before somebody hears you!”

“Language, Initiate,” a low voice rumbled into the two boys squabble and they both turned their faces skyward to see the tall, imposing presence of Master Qui-Gon Jinn standing over them. His face was impassive, neither a smile nor a frown on his lips and his eyes seemed to see beyond them, as if they were not there. “Brother Jedi do not squabble over petty gossip. You would do well to set a proper example for your friend, Padawan Vos.”

And with that bit of wisdom imparted, Master Jinn moved out of the dining hall and into the shadowed archway that led back into the Temple.

Obi-Wan let out a heavy sigh and turned his eyes back to his food as Quinlan let out a snort once he was absolutely certain the mountain of a master was out of earshot. He proceeded to sit up straighter and sniffed in a poor imitation of Master Jinn, “You would do well to be more of a stick in the mud like Luminara, Obi-Wan. She never has any fun and all the masters love her.”

Rolling his eyes, Obi-Wan tucked into his dinner. “Shut up, Quin. I don’t want to get chewed out by two masters tonight.”

Deciding that his empty stomach could hold out no longer, Quinlan followed Obi-Wan’s suggestion and the two boys began to eat in relative silence.

Quinlan didn’t notice Obi-Wan turning around to gaze out at the doorway Master Jinn departed through. I know Master Ahsoka thinks Master Jinn might be a good master for me but… I don’t know. I don’t think any Padawan could ever make him happy.

Obi-Wan bit into his chocolate sponge cake and sighed. Definitely not me.

The next two months passed in a happy blur of activity for Obi-Wan and he almost forgot about his impending birthday. He would eat breakfast with Master Ahsoka, the two of them planning their day around his schedule. Sometimes Master Yoda would join them, sending Obi-Wan off to fetch him a pot of tea while he talked privately with her. He would have given anything to know what the Grand Master and Ahsoka were talking about but he had to accept it was not his place to know.

Once Obi-Wan’s lessons were done for the day, Ahsoka would met him in the Northern Solar room and they would practice jar’kai, focusing on improving Obi-Wan’s non-dominant hand and foot. At first he felt like a failure, dropping his saber time after time but slowly he started to see improvement. His left arm didn’t shake so much when he worked and the forms were starting to feel more natural on his left side, to flow one into the other, clumsily but it was progress.

Sometimes Obi-Wan would eat dinner with Quinlan, or his other agemates who didn’t mind being seen with an initiate, but more often than not he would eat with Ahsoka. One of the masters even started calling him Ahsoka’s little shadow.

Obi-Wan had liked the idea of being the Shadow’s shadow.

Ahsoka always seemed happy to see him, ruffling his hair and putting a hand on his shoulder whenever they spoke to a fellow knight or master. He felt proud when she did that but he did his best to keep such thoughts and emotions behind his shields. Jedi were supposed to be serene and one with the Force around them and puffing up like a preening kyr falcon was generally frowned upon.

Everything was going very well until he was the last initiate in his dorm room and the calendar changed, revealing that there were only three weeks left before his birthday and…

And his fate, whatever that would be.

Ahsoka was at her wits’ end.

Not only was Obi-Wan turning thirteen in three weeks time but Qui-Gon Jinn was away from Coruscant on a diplomatic mission that should have ended nearly a week ago. On top of that, not a single knight or master she had spoken to would even broach the topic of considering Obi-Wan Wan for an apprenticeship.

Try as she might, Ahsoka could not convince the hidebound idiots at the Temple that Obi-Wan was going to grow into one of the greatest Jedi the Order had ever produced.

“I admire your determination. There aren’t many besides Yoda who would advocate so strongly for Kenobi,” Mace Windu said one day while he and Ahsoka were walking through the hallways of the Temple.

As part of her acceptance back into the Order, Master Windu had suggested that Ahsoka meet with him weekly for a chat on how she was adjusting to life back within the confines of the Temple. She understood what he really meant and proceeded to show up on time, every week, at Master Windu’s door, a pleasant bland expression on her face that she had learned from Padme.

“They just don’t know him like I do,” Ahsoka insisted, glancing over the railing of the walkway to watch the initiate in question defeating his opponent in a hand-to-hand combat class. “He has amazing potential in him. If I could just get someone to listen to me instead of laughing me out of the room…”

Master Windu shook his head slowly as a sound came out of him that might have sounded like a chuckle. But surely Ahsoka was hallucinating because Master Windu never laughed. Ever. Anakin had told her once he came out of the womb frowning.

“Ahsoka, if you’re so convinced of his potential, why don’t you take him as a Padawan?” Windu asked, gesturing to the class going on down below. “The Council is still evaluating where your skills could be best put to use. Maybe that is educating young Kenobi on how to mind his temper.”

As if to illustrate Master Windu’s point, Ahsoka watched as Obi-Wan darted over in front of a younger and smaller initiate that was being bullied by a new Padawan. The two stood toe to toe, hands curled into fists, anger swirling around the pair before the teacher sensed the row in the Force and moved to separate the students.

Ahsoka bowed her head as Obi-Wan got the worst of the teacher’s ire.

Controlling his temper? He wasn’t angry! That wasn’t fear or hatred. He was defending that child like a Jedi is supposed to do. Like my master taught me!

Master Windu looked over at Ahsoka and hummed. “Perhaps not. Master Yoda seemed to think Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn would also be a good match.”

Startled out of her brooding, Ahsoka turned back to Master Windu. “He does? Does he know when Qui-Gon Jinn is coming back from his mission on Chandrila?”

“Any day now,” Windu said, moving forward. “But I highly doubt Qui-Gon would take Kenobi after what happened to his last one.”

Ahsoka sighed. “Obi-Wan told me he swore before the Council he would never take another Padawan but he didn’t tell me what caused him to do that.”

“Qui-Gon’s last padawan fell to the Dark Side,” Windu murmured, his gaze distant as they turned a corner, sliding apart so that a clutch of younglings could run past them giggling. “The Temple lost track of his padawan shortly thereafter and when Qui-Gon returned to Coruscant, he made a… dramatic announcement to the Council.”

Ahsoka blinked as she sensed that Master Windu did not think that highly of Master Jinn’s behavior on that matter and wondered if the Korun master had ever approved of anyone.

“So then why does Yoda think Master Jinn and Obi-Wan would be a good fit?” Ahsoka asked, curious herself now that she knew more of Qui-Gon’s backstory. Anakin had never mentioned a brother padawan to Master Obi-Wan and it stood to reason that he hadn’t known. Ahsoka was already gnashing her teeth every night as she struggled to reconstruct what she knew of the past and Master Obi-Wan’s activities as a Padawan, to say nothing of the actions leading up to the Crisis on Naboo, the Clone Wars and the nightmare that came after that. She had already filled two datapads with just her memories alone.

Stars above, Master. I wish you had been just a bit more curious about Master Obi-Wan’s apprenticeship. Didn’t you know I was going to tumble backwards in time and need a detailed timeline and a complete biography of who’s who?

“You would have to ask Master Yoda,” Windu shrugged, walking over to a turbolift as Ahsoka followed him. “If you’ll excuse me, we’ll have to finish our talk early today. I’m needed at a Senate committee meeting.”

“Oh? Who called the meeting?” Ahsoka asked, feigning curiosity even as she was planning when she could pin Master Yoda down and ask him about Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. She had gone to the Tower to get a sachet of particularly expensive tea and wondered if she could bribe the little green master into revealing some details of his plans for the initiate.

“Senator Palpatine from Naboo in the Chommel sector,” Master Windu shrugged, stepping through the turbolift doors that had just sprung open. “Something to do about trade route disputes. Just more routine squabbling with the Trade Federation, no doubt.”

Ahsoka froze mid-nod, her heart nearly stopping in her chest. She looked up at Mace Windu, who arched an eyebrow, sensing the sudden change in her mood in the Force. Working quickly, Ahsoka drew her shields even higher, trying to smile and wave off the Korun master’s suspicions. “That definitely sounds like a job for you, Master Windu! I hope the negotiations are short.”

Windu folded his arms over his chest as the door slid shut. “We’ll talk later, Knight Tano.”

Ahsoka watched the lights on the turbolift click through the floors of the Temple before she was positive Master Windu was on the level that would take him to a transport and then onwards to the Senate building.

Senator Palpatine?

He was here?

He was a Senator already?

How far along was he into his plans? How much time did she have to stop him? Did her mere presence in the past mean he was going to move up the timetable? Could he move up the timetable?

Ahsoka walked over to a small dark corner and backed up against the wall, wrapping her arms around herself as she tried to calm down, tried to steady her breathing and her heart rate. If Palpatine was already in the Senate, it was too late to block that avenue to power, which meant she would have to find another way to foil his plans, another way to keep him from his ultimate goal.

I have to be patient. I have to calm down. Anakin hasn’t even been born yet! Obi-Wan is still an initiate and at this rate he’s not even going to make it as a Padawan! There’s still time. I can still prevent the future I came from.

I can still save them.

I cannot let Anakin down.

I will not let you become Darth Vader, Master.

“Are you alright, Knight Tano?” a vaguely familiar low voice asked, intruding into her small panic attack.

Ahsoka glanced up into the concerned face of Qui-Gon Jinn, almost letting out a sob of relief. She swallowed down the fear that was scrabbling at her heart and squeezing all the air out of her lungs, trying to return Qui-Gon’s look of concern with a composed one of her own. “Oh, Master Jinn, hello! I didn’t realize you were back.”

Judging by the frown on his face and the knit of his brows, she had failed.

“What troubles you, young one?” he asked, his arms folded into the sleeves of his robe. “I sense a great deal of fear and anxiety in the Force around you, Ahsoka.”

Touched that he remembered his name, Ahsoka tried to come up with a way to explain her fears without letting the truth tumble out of her like spilt blue milk. “I… I had a vision, of the future. It was horrible, Master Jinn. I saw my master and my friends, dead and dying. And my master… he… he was begging me to help him but… I didn’t. I couldn’t. It was a terrible nightmare and I… I’m having trouble letting it go.”

Qui-Gon nodded at Ahsoka’s story, his gaze shifting from her face to a distant spot down the hallway, stroking his beard in a way that almost painfully paralleled Master Obi-Wan. She watched him think, felt the Force settling around him like a well-worn and comfortable robe, warm and insulating against the ice-cold of her panic. For a moment, Ahsoka could relax and let someone else shoulder a small fraction of her burden. In that way, it was nice to be back in the Temple with wise elders she could seek out for advice.

“This vision you had, you believe it is of the future?” Qui-Gon finally spoke, turning back to observe her with a thoughtful detachment. He was a distant mountain, large and imposing but unreachable and try as she might, Ahsoka could not get a feel for Master Jinn in the Force.

Nodding, she answered. “Yes. I’m positive it is the future. It’s… a warning. I believe.”

“The future is always in motion, Ahsoka,” Qui-Gon murmured, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. “And by neglecting your focus on the here and now, on the Living Force, you risk fixating on something that may never happen. Keep your mind on the Living Force and all will be well.”

Ahsoka recognized the wisdom in Qui-Gon’s words and slowly nodded. She couldn’t let her fears of one possible future derail her efforts in the here and now. Too much was riding on her. “Thank you. I… It’s hard sometimes, not having my master to go to in times like these.”

“I’m sure he would agree that your fears are unfounded,” Qui-Gon smiled, a muted one but a smile all the same. “Visions and dreams, these things pass in time, Ahsoka. It is only with great wisdom and experience that a Jedi can learn to interpret a true vision from a collection of fears and worries.”

“Yes, of course,” Ahsoka agreed, already feeling better as panic lifted from her shoulders. “You’re right. He would have told me to focus on what was right in front of me.”

And to kick its ass. Ahsoka thought wryly.

“A wise man, your late master,” Master Jinn pronounced. “Now if you'll excuse me, I must make my report to the Council while the details are fresh in my mind.”

Ahsoka was about to let him go when she remembered Obi-Wan. “Master Jinn? I’m working with an initiate on jar’kai and I wanted to show him how it works in saber combat. If it’s not too much trouble, would you be willing to spar with me? My master spoke highly of your skills.”

Master Obi-Wan was technically going to be my original master so… Force, this is exhausting!

Qui-Gon paused and canted his head to the side, considering Ahsoka’s request for a long, silent moment. When he came to a decision he stood up to his full height, tall and strong like the wroshyr trees of Kashyyyk. “Yes. I believe I could find the time for you, Knight Tano. Good day.”

Ahsoka watched as the master strode off down the hallway, a mirage of a mountain range, fading into the soft grey shadows of the Temple.

“Yes!” Ahsoka cheered to herself, pumping her fists in the air. “Just you wait, Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon will be giving you that braid by the end of the week!”

[mahizli]

Creator Tag Game

So... I got tagged for this by two wonderful people : @stolen-pen-name23 and @tessiete - thank you so, so much. Please check out their works and also their post about their own work, it is worth it!

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I know it is not the theme of that Tag Game. But for me, it is so very very important to tell all of you that what was most wonderful in 2020 for me was meeting people like @sirikenobi12 , @sandfordsmostwanted (AssassinOfRome on A03) and @mindmysimplesoul (lillianne1818 on A03). They were among the first who reviewed my work and... I don’t think I would be writing here without them. So I just want to thank them, and send them all the love in the world. If I could tag their reviews I would, because a lot of their analysis is really art as well.

Since this is about fics, though :

Night More Loving Than The Rising Sun was the fic that started this wonderful adventure. I had just watched S2E14 ‘Duchess of Mandalore’ and was completely in love with the Obi/Satine interactions. I found their arguing and their somewhat mirroring positions as ‘leaders’ fascinating... and I loved Satine’s tirade about Obi going on a “crusade” and the sad look he gave her. I just thought it deserved a conversation, as well as shared musings. It’s the first of a collection of one-chapter fics between Obi-Wan and Satine - one where they love but don’t get attached.

There Is No Pain (I Tilled The Sorrows Of Stone) was the fic where the responses and reviews I got just blew me away. I had never expected this and I personnally think that one of the most beautiful things in this fic are the reviews you can read below the chapters... It is the fic I wanted to write ever since I was eleven years-old, the one where Obi-Wan deals with the post-Phantom Menace events. What I loved here was : writing his knighting, writing the Jedi Council, writing Jocasta Nu and fleshing out Obi-Wan’s childhood friendships with Luminara, Kit and Quinlan. And writing how Obi dealt with grief, and learned to move on.

Blossoms In The Wind (Padawan Mine) is my favourite fic of mine ^^. It tells the story of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon coming together and finally chosing each other, in another universe than the Jedi Apprentice’s. I love it because it allowed me to write baby Obi-Wan... and Qui-Gon. I just love writing children’s mindsets, and here I especially loved trying to write Obi as he grew, while fleshing out the Temple’s crèche life. I also absolutely loved writing Ilum... and Dex. This fic also features an OC villain called Rose Cimber, that I had so much fun to create. And it was the first time I got some fanart as a wonderful gift : Little Robin by AssassinOfRome, “little robin” being Qui-Gon’s nickname for Obi.

Storms On Pijal is missing it’s final chapter yet, but if I’d say what I’m most proud of there, it’s the plot. Obviously, it’s not mine, as it is inspired by the few things about Pijal one can read on Wookieepedia, but still... Basically, Obi-Wan is sixteen and just came back from spending a year guarding Duchess Satine with Qui-Gon. He’s quite heartbroken but hides it, having chosen to remain a Jedi. And then Qui-Gon and him are sent on Pijal to help the Jedi Rael Averross to settle a conflict on the planet he was regenting for a Princess Fanry who started a rebellion and is now dealing with a civil war. Unfortunately someone attacks their plane and their crash - and Obi is on his own to discover what happened.

Sparks of Hope - A Star Wars Advent Calendar is my current project... as you can see we are December 15th and it only has twelve chapters, meaning I’m behind and late. But it’s a different character interacting with Obi-Wan every day, at various times of his life -- and the whole patchwork, I think, describes the different and many facets of this character I loved to pieces. The third chapter called Space Pirates received fanart from the amazing @thenegoteator I posted on my tumblr - please check out their works, it’s amazing.

The calendar is a gift fic for those three people I mentionned above : siri_kenobi12, sandfordsmostwanted (AssassinOfRome on A03) and mindmysimplesoul (lillianne1818 on A03).

Because they told me I brought them happiness, and brought me so much more in return : the joy to write knowing it means something to someone. That it can link people together, in those difficult times. So it is these people I want to tag, even though I also love @tessiete , @swbumblebee , @kckenobi and @katierosefun ’s works so much, respectively because of the Obitine feels (tessiete), the perfect Council characterization, the puns and Obi’s sleepwalking (swbumblebee) and, for kckenobi and katierosefun who are somewhat inseparable in my mind but each deserve praise in their own way : everything, words, poetry, subtext and character study.

You are all wonderful!! Take care, much love, Meysun (mahizli).