#madd recovery

[acircusfullofdemons]

💭🔮 MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING || MASTERLIST 🔮💭

Everything that relates to MaDD/ID on my blog, for easier access <3

TAGS

maladaptive daydreaming • info • terminology • flags • community • positivity • negativity • recovery • events • music • polls • maddcore

POSTS

proposed diagnostic criteria • the ultimate daydreamer's guide • common terminology

[kailutopia]

Hi! I feel kind of terrified of starting this blog, but in my experience posting on Tumblr feels like shouting into the void (/pos) so I should be fine 😅

I made this sideblog to be able to externalise my daydreams. They've been with me as far as I remember, and my first memories are from when I was around 5-6. I really want to immortalise them in some way, and have always wanted to talk about them, because they are so so so dear to me, but I've always been scared to. My daydreaming used to be maladaptive, now it's just immersive. Yet, I still feel the consequences of it having been maladaptive everyday.

A few useful information about the IRL me:

I'm currently 19

I go by Kai

I'm autistic and I have ADHD

I have dyslexia and tend to not see typos and therefore not correct them

I'm: polyamorous, demisexual, demiromantic, pansexual, panromantic, genderfaun, genderfluid, transmasc, genderqueer

I'm kin (crow, cockatoo, wolf/dog, cryptid, ferret)

I am very very punk (cringepunk, voidpunk, amatopunk, hopepunk,...)

And a few useful tags for navigating this blog:

#kai's world ➜ my paracosms, daydreams, characters, etc

#dd memes ➜ memes about daydreaming

#dd mood ➜ mood, related to daydreaming

#actually madd ➜ maladaptive daydreaming

#recovering from madd ➜ my experiences and journey recovering from my madd, while still being an immersive daydreamer

A few other things

My main: @kaigweny My self-shipping: @cryptid-loverboi I'm on Wattpad and AO3 too A Discord server for daydreamers

I hope you'll maybe find some joy or solace in my journey on this blog, but mostly I hope I do 💚

(Dividers by @cafekitsune)

[mike-and-mika]

I am going to be deleting Tumblr to recuperate brain cells. It has also been a huge daydream trigger for me. Which is why I’m losing those brain cells at a rapid rate! I’ll be back in a month though.

[sage-hazeline]

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

[sarahsedserio]

[maladaptively]

is madd tumblr still a thing like i used to be so big on there

[scarypiaget]

I finally did it. I made the decision to stop maladaptive daydreaming. I deleted my daydreaming photo album. After like 10 years lmao. I kinda wish I’d done it sooner when I 1st realized, but better late than never. I guess I’ll finally be productive lmao!

[crowscoffee]

hi!! my name is crow and this is an anonymous blog to help me keep track/keep myself accountable as i finally try to address my maladaptive daydreaming/severe executive dysfunction issues. i am in therapy and on medication right now, but even then my mental health has been suffering this year especially, and i really want to focus on improving myself and grounding myself for my own benefit, that way i can actually focus on the things i want to be doing irl instead of losing hours of my time to daydreaming + executive dysfunction.

my goal is to update this daily with my progress to help with mindfulness and accountability but we’ll see how that goes, my long-term goal is actually to delete this blog once i feel happy with myself and my real life/can have a healthy relationship with daydreaming!

if you want to follow this blog for perhaps personal motivation, or you’d like to chat, feel free. i will not discuss my daydreaming and/or the topics of it directly much yet because it can be triggering for me, but i’m happy to talk about other stuff! i’m in uni rn studying poetry, film, and queer history, and i love sci-fi/horror, crocheting, and my cats. :D

i’ll try posting daily logs starting tomorrow to see if it helps, they probably won’t be very long but it’s a start. thanks if you’ve decided to support me as i finally face this problem i’ve been letting build up and take over my life for years :’)

[broimouttahere]

Fam: Oh my goodness why are you so tired? It’s not like you do much all day

My brain at every waking moment:

[kailutopia]

Hi Kai! Welcome to the dreamer club, I was wondering if you’d be interested in having fellow dreamer friends? I hope your day’s been well! - ☀️⚔️

Hi, thank you!

I would very much be, yes! Feel free to message me or anything ^^

(as I reminder though, if I interact with anyone, I'll probably show up as my main @kaigweny ^^)

I hope you're having/had a nice day too! <3

[mike-and-mika]

“No compass comes with this life, just eyes. So to map it out you must look inside. Sure, books can guide you, but your heart defines.”

- Jay Z

[sage-hazeline]

trying to coax my consciousness out to the present moment is like talking to a terrified child hiding in the dark.

‘you can come out now, it’s safe’.

[forestdaydreaming]

It's been 3 years since I've made that post.

Turns out I wasn't an asocial freak, I was just autistic and hadn't realized it yet.

I've had two jobs which involved talking to people a lot - one as a promoter and one in a summer camp. People saw that I was weird, that I was always a bit zoned out (and sometimes zoned out a lot - like freezed staring at space a lot), that I was quiet and didn't talk a lot. And you know what? They liked me anyways, and I was still an accepted and included part of their team. In fact, people had told me that I had always been chill and found time to relax and I'd been so calm they felt themselves become calmer too. And they liked that about me! After I'd been blaming myself for not being crazy emotional and thinking everyone considers me insanely boring!

I may not have a lot of close friends - just one. But we both found courage to be more open with each other, and just how she knows about my ASD & daydreaming, I know about her mental health struggles. She doesn't mind that I don't chat a lot and can sometimes go quiet for days. And I even have a sort of school-friend that I can hold a conversation with between classes!

I still slip into my daydreams a lot, but I am also able to stop and fully appreciate beauty of life and live through breathtaking moments without putting this daydream glass before myself.

My point is: even though I still struggle, it does get better. Don't be too harsh on yourselves <3

[starrynightofcontradictions]

MADD Recovery Journal #1 – June 11, 2022

I suppose a brief introduction is in order. Only, I don’t want to put my full name on Tumblr of all places, so…. yeah. My first name is Sarah, and there’s, like, a million Sarahs in the world. Here’s the deal: I kind of want to post updates on how I’m dealing with my maladaptive daydreaming disorder, but because of that exact disorder, self-discipline isn’t something I’ve ever exactly been known for. I mean, frankly, I’m 27 and completely amazed sometimes that I’m not still living with my parents (no offense adult children who do- I’ve been there, and I know your pain). What I’m saying is this could be the first of many posts I make on this topic, or it could be the only one. Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder is something I’ve struggled with for a long time, though. When I realized there was a community of people here, as well as actual research being done, I wanted to write something and shoot it into the Tumblr void. Maybe it will help someone. Just know I’m not currently in a position to be giving anyone advice.

I actually began daydreaming on purpose for many reasons, but it actually started with a friend. I was maybe in fourth or fifth grade, and I didn’t have many friends at my school. I always had a difficult time connecting with other people my age. (To this day, some of my dearest friends are much older than me.) I did have one friend- a girl I rode the bus with to school. Between us, we created a fantasy alter-dimension that we could transport in and out of. In that “Other World” we were both beautiful and talented with perfect families. (I bore a striking resemblance to Natalie Portman, but I was also very much into Star Wars at the time…) It was pure fantasy, but we pretended it was real. Eventually, she and I grew apart, but I kept fantasizing in my head. Some of it with original characters, or paras, as I’ve learned they’re called. As I grew older, I began pulling inspiration from books and movies. Twilight, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson- you name it. I would have self- inserts at times, but mostly I fantasized about favorite characters. I would spend hours pacing my bedroom floor or completely zoning out in class. I had friends in high school and college, but my social life was always stunted. As were my grades and general aspirations in life. My sense of identity has suffered the most. There are times when I come out of a daydream and feel like a complete non-person. I’m just a vessel for fictional worlds and personal issues. (I don’t actually believe that anymore- but that’s the gist.)

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I really can’t live like this anymore. I want to feel like a person, and I don’t want to waste my life on people and places that aren’t real and never will be. Part of the reason has to do with my faith. I feel like God has given me life and a purpose. I shouldn’t waste it. Anyway, I just wanted to put this out there. I did alright today- daydreamed some, but managed to get stuff done in a somewhat timely manner. 

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Well, since tumblr randomly ate my pinned... -_-

About us:

We're the Stars system, a massively polymultiple and polyfragmented mixed origin DID system. We consider ourselves an infinite system.

Our pronouns are fae/it unless specified otherwise. When referring to multiple of us, you are welcome to use fae&/it& or you& for clarity. If you are up for it, we would also appreciate second person neopronouns being tried out (substituting neos for 'you'), and sometimes we use first person neopronouns (substituting neos for 'I/we')

Some of our labels include (we use general/umbrella labels in places to indicate that we use many of those kind of labels):

(disability)

POTS

MCAS

likely ME/CFS

chronic pain (likely fibromyalgia)

other unspecified chronic illness symptoms

physically disabled with mobility disabilities

anxiety

PTSD and C-PTSD

DID w/strong dp/dr symptoms

schizophrenia/psychotic

cluster B spectrum disorder, comprehensive subtype (we meet the diagnostic criteria for all four cluster B disorders and our symptoms are heavily interrelated)

OCD

autism

ADHD

MADD

OLD (a medically unrecognized disorder)

neurodivergent and neurodisabled

cognitive disabilities

cripple

mad

often housebound, sometimes bedbound (less so now that we have a wheelchair)

low to mid masking

low to mid functioning

mid to high support needs

(system)

traumaendo mixed origin

infinite system

aside from traumagen and endo, spirigenic, schizogenic, bordergenic, paragenic, tulpagenic, and more

(queer)

Abro (and use lesbian, gay, queerhet, bi, pan, omni, and mspec and straight lesbian/gay labels)

transneufemmasc, transfluid

intersex

altersex/salmacian

pangenderfluid, kingender, xenogender, agender, maverique, intergender, multigender, androgyne, and others

faegender

butch and femboy

queer

demigrey aroace and grey apl among others

lesboy/turigirl

radinclus

(other)

alterhuman

otherkin (especially fae/changeling, but pankin across the whole system)

otherhearted

copinglink and linktypes

hearthome

choicekin

constelic

demihuman and nonhuman both

endel

humankin

flickers

hivemind

multiversal

reality shifters

nonperson

We are pro-endo and pro-tulpa, anti-psych and anti-phys, pro-mad-liberation and cripplepunk inclusionists and coined unitypunk. We are kff safe and do not believe ANY identity that someone genuinely identifies as, that is not specifically based on intentional harm to others, can be inherently or ontologically harmful. We are proship/profic and ourselves are survivors of a specific kind of SA that cannot be directly spoken about here. We are also anti-forced-recovery and don't believe in consensus reality.

We also do not believe it is okay to make fun of reality shifters just because it's the current acceptable target, and find it especially hypocritical coming from otherkin. Even if it was always harmful, the appropriate response would be genuine, non-patronizing concern, offering resources, and then backing the fuck off if people can't or won't "recover". That being said, most "anti" sentiment in this context is heavily sanist and centered around the idea of a "correct" consensus reality. Not trusting people to be right about their own subjective experiences is both sanist and just generally an asshole move.

We believe transandrophobia exists, that everyone can be affected by transmisogyny and that TMA/TME labels are reductive and often bioessentialist and intersexist in usage, and that exorsexism and the above are all serious issues both within the trans community and in society as a whole. We support transunity. We also are pro-complicated and conflicting labels, such as mspec lesbian/gay, straight lesbian/gay, transmasc lesbians, and lesgay/lesboy/turigirl labels.

We are transhumanist and support bodily autonomy and good faith identity with NO. EXCLUSIONS. If you think this doesn't apply to you, I promise it still probably actually does. We do our best to judge people on their actions, not their thoughts, feelings, or anything else that occurs internally. We also don't believe any body modifications or exercise of personal bodily autonomy is wrong.

We also believe it's not wrong to be unhealthy, to refuse or be unable to recover, and that healthism is ableism. Disabled people (including neurodivergent people) are the most reliable authority on their own experiences. Also, if someone says they were called a slur, you should believe them, and they have a right to reclaim it regardless of if you think they have the "right" identity (outside of perhaps racial/ethnic slurs, which I feel is not our place to comment on). Slur, label, and flag discourse is all bullshit cop behavior and y'all need to stop it.

There's probably more that we'll come back and add later, but for now, here's a new pinned.

[parasafterdark]

Totally not stealing this from people on my dash >.>

RULES: Post 5 songs associated with your OC, followed by 3 outfits they would wear

Doing Shal (Standard edition) cause gal won the "scrolling through folder till I got the Outfits together" competition:

The Living Tombstone - Drunk

Moulin Rouge - El Tango de Roxanne

Peter Fox - Schwarz zu Blau

MandoPony - Survive the Night

The Stupendium - Impossible Geometry

Used to be more a casual Shirt with Jeans guy, but ever since that stint as a fashion Designer, clothes have gotten more fancy (something something physical indicators of recovery my beloved)

Tagging: @blue-bubonic @blue-madd @daydreaming-memories @dremieblur @aircastledweller @maddakai and whoever else wanna!