#cptsd advice

[sage-hazeline]

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

[furiousgoldfish]

everyone: ask for help when you need it! don't try to get through everything on your own when it's too much!

me: asks for help, is immediately rejected and scorned for asking, feels worse

[fairiencarnate]

Why did no one tell me that the "chemical imbalance" theory has largely been disproven, that serotonin and dopamine can't cause mental illness on their own? Why have all mental health professionals been pushing this idea as fact? I've always thought the whole BPD diagnosis was bogus, just modern day hysteria slapped onto (mostly) women with complex-PTSD. Almost an official gaslight, like "your trauma wasn't traumatic enough to warrant the PTSD label so we're going to act like your brain is malfunctioning". So I'm not surprised to find all this out.

Can we finally begin a trauma-informed approach toward mainstream mental health shit? Especially mood disorders? Let's not rule chemicals and hormones out entirely, but let's acknowledge that trauma and genes have far stronger ties to mental health.

[starshapedjello]

I know you don’t want to hear this, but…

If they wanted to be with you, they would be with you. 💔

Stop allowing yourself to get breadcrumbed. 🍞

“Breadcrumbing is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.”

Breadcrumbing can lead a person to become limerent. 💔🥺💔

“Limerence is a state of being stuck between uncertainty and hope: Will they or won’t they return the sentiment? Perhaps a person has not rejected them entirely, but they haven’t confessed their love either.”

Being limerent on someone is the state of being entirely consumed by whether or not they will one day be in a committed romantic relationship with you. The person may have broken up with you or perhaps you two were never fully together in the first place. Either way, you find yourself becoming obsessed with them and fantasizing about being with them in the future. You will make up excuses for them about why they can’t be with you now or maybe they will feed you excuses as to why you two are not together.

Neptune can be the culprit 😩

Aspects to Neptune can create a lot of fog on how someone views themselves and others. Neptune can be beautiful, yet dangerous. Be careful out there and make sure you are seeing the reality of a situation. Don’t get played. 😮‍💨 Respect your needs. 💞

[thedepressexpress]

hi! when I get depressed it's really hard to make sure I'm eating as much as I should so here are some things I eat when I don't have the energy to do shit

these are depression meals so they are in no way balanced and an ideal diet, this is to get you through it. if you have depression, some of these on your shopping list are a good idea. I update this list whenever I remember something

I'm also assuming the only equipment you have is a bowl, spoon, sink, microwave and at most, a can opener. in no particular order:

granola bars and adjacent things like nuts, dried fruit, etc

frozen sausages: break them in half and microwave, if they're too cold to break you can run them under hot water or leave them out for a couple minutes, you need the break them or they might explode

canned corn: open and eat with a spoon, you can strain and microwave if you want it hot

cheese: put it in a bowl and microwave till it melts or till it's crispy, your choice but if you do just cheese don't use a porous bowl

instant noodles: don't use a pan, use a bowl, empty the contents in the bowl, add water till at least half of the noodle thing is submerged, microwave for 2-4 minutes, mix and eat

regular noodles: use a bigger bowl than you normally would, add some dry pasta to it and enough water to cover the pasta but not much more, it might overflow, and microwave for a few minutes more than the package says to boil, drain the water and put in whatever, condiment, sauce, cheese, sausages, frozen veggies, and microwave again, it's more time intensive but also more nutrients so

canned beans: you can eat as is if it comes in a sauce, but if you got the ones with the clear liquid you can strain and rinse and if you don't have a strainer, open the can just a little from the tab and open a faucet, let the water run into the can and adjust the position of the lid till the water can go in without any of the beans coming out, it'll dissolve the liquid and it'll flow out, leave it for a bit then shake it, turn it upside to drain, let it refill then leave it again, repeat till the water over flowing isn't that weird liquid

crackers/biscuits: keep a stash of biscuits that you can eat, bonus if you can eat them with milk or tea or coffee or juice

juice: buy your favorite and keep a bottle in the fridge or frozen if you suspect you're starting to spiral and might need it in a few hours

readymade meals: whenever you go to do your grocery shopping, buy just one premade meal

vegetables: keep a vegetable you like that you can eat raw like cucumbers or carrots

fruits: keep a fruit you know you can eat or you know you can drown in something else, for example I don't like apples but I can eat them if they're covered in peanut butter

sweets: you can keep a favorite hard candy to get yourself salivating idk for me if helps activate some hunger while getting rid of the painful part of being hungry

butters and spreads: you can find premade sandwich spread with chicken in them, or jams or spreads that are savory like peanut/almond/cashew butter or sweet like a chocolate/vanilla spread

rice: if you make rice and ever have some left over you can freeze it and eat it later, you can also do that with rice in a bag

tofu: you can eat it raw as long as you drain the liquid it comes with

condiments: almost all of these things can be improved or 'seasoned' with ketchup, mayo, mustard, ranch, tartar sauce, marinara, etc. it'll give some flavor and make it taste better but don't microwave sauces unless they're properly mixed with the food especially mayo based ones, they can get weird

frozen vegetables: any time you're using the microwave to make these things, throw in a handful of frozen vegetables and microwave for a little longer

cereal: pair cereal with foods like yogurt instead of milk, you can add chocolate drink powder to the yogurt before adding the cereal which is really nice, you can also make it directly in the yogurt container if it's small enough

electrolytes: you can make them a bottle using two dashes of salt (1/4 tsp), a 2second squeeze of a honey bottle (2 tsp) and some kind of juice for a better flavor

potatoes: stab them all around with a fork, microwave for about six minutes, turn it over then microwave again, keeping microwaving and turning till it's soft on the inside and you can eat it

order out: if you can afford to order food, order it, some tips to get the most out of what you order 1. order a family box of food to store in the fridge 2. when you microwave it, do it with some water in a glass with your bowl/food in the microwave

if opening the tab on a can is keeping you from eating, try this. it'll open the can, you can use a knife, the back of a spoon, etc.

if it keeps you from spiraling, it's worth doing. and if it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly. eating something is better than eating nothing.

hope this helps, if you can, please add more things!

[reasonsforhope]

Thank you, stranger, for making this blog. You are truly a kind, beautiful soul. Thank you for existing for the world. Many of us appreciate you!!!! Thank you!!!!! /vvvvvvvgen

...now to me. I'm sorry for adding for your huge askbox as is, genuinely...

I naturally, without thinking, don't act like my real personality because it's been shunned dozens of times across my entire life. It's not fundamentally flawed (I know that, 100%--we all have flaws, ad I absolutely wasn't a terrible person for expressing them). Nonetheless, all I know is that the person I act like everyday of my life since I finally snapped and started doing this whole thing two years ago -- almost three -- is not who I really am. You know when you put on a shoe that, while your foot can fit inside and you can walk around just fine, you know it's just not your size because it doesn't feel right at all? That's me and my "personality"...people thought I was weird when I showed my genuine personality. I was just...pretty different than most. some comments I've got on my old personality:

"You're ...... Weird." (said with a thinly hid derogatory tone)

"Stop. You're not one of us."

"Why are you talking like that?"

"Sensitive. No one likes you."

And the one that finally made me snap:

"Stupid." (the person who said this then continued top he conversation as normal. Not acknowledging my stunned reaction.)

In addition, for a couple months I got treated like a dog. A literal dog.

I basically got treated like an outcast.

I know the personality I've left buried for so long has grown on its own, with me. It wasn't totally neglected and in fact is still here. It's just hidden behind this mask...which I can't take off. Because I literally don't know how. It's become such a habit to be someone else that I don't even fully, consciously know who I genuinely am today...it's hard. I hurt. A lot. I'm terrified of being vulnerable in any way, now. Just curled up in a shell.

...what am I to do? Where am I even going to begin? I feel lost. All I know, in the depths of my heart, that there is hope. There is always hope yet. That is something I've always known.

So what now? I'm scared, tired, and unsure. Is there anything I can do, anymore, at all? To figure out, and then be, who I know I am, deep down?

Thank you for reading, if you did. From the bottom of my heart--thank you. Thank you.

Sincerely,

#🎈🌠🐘

<3 <3 <3

Thanks so much <3 And fwiw for anyone wondering, it's not HUGE huge, I've got like 45 asks and dms to get to, but it still feels pretty big for me, a person who has def never had that happen before. Hoping to try to answer a batch of 2-4 of them on the weekends

Also, in terms of the rest of it.... Sorry if I'm overstepping, and definitely not to do that "diagnose people over the internet shit," but have you ever looked into whether you might be autistic or some other flavor of neurodivergent. Because as an autistic person, I see a Lot of my own experiences in what you've written

Regardless of whether you have or not, and whether you're autistic or not, I definitely know what it's like to deal with that kind of shit and bullying, and how trying to mask your own differences can twist you up inside. I had a problem with compulsively lying for a while in high school because of how ingrained "covering for myself" became - so I get how unsettling it feels when this shit becomes something you can't consciously control

Because there's so much overlap, I'd actually recommend looking into books and resources from the autistic community in masking and the difficulty of unmasking, regardless of whether you're autistic or not. A lot of the traumas are similar, too, so if you're at that level of "burying," I really think you'll be able to get something out of it no matter what

(This applies to anyone reading this who has also had to deal with that kind of shit or has found themselves doing something similar.)

Also, you should definitely look into trauma work (and "complex PTSD") and see if there's anything helpful to you there--there's a lot of really effective, evidence-based stuff out there about how to untangle your nervous system, because that kind of social rejection and isolation is absolutely/inherently traumatizing

Some Resources

Masking stuff:

Seven Steps to Unmasking as a Neurodivergent Person

What Is Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)? from Healthline

Autism Masking: To Blend or Not to Blend from Healthline

This is an assessment for social masking. It's written about autism, but I think a good amount of it would be applied to other types of masking like this.

Trauma stuff:

What Is Rejection Trauma? from TherapyMantra

Healing from Rejection Trauma from CPTSDFoundation.org

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

And if none of that helps you...there's definitely a lot of other stuff out there. There's things like journaling, which are a huge help with this sort of thing. Figuring out who you are underneath it all takes time and feels super weird and it's not easy, but I have faith you can do it. Don't give up, just keep moving forward

[mycptsdstory]

[moonlit-positivity]

Preparing for a Crisis Situation

[Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. I am just some rando on the internet with way too much time on her hands (😭). Contrary to what I've written, the advice in this post is not a substitute for real crisis support. If you are feeling actively suicidal and unsafe, please contact your local crisis unit and take your health & safety seriously.]

This is going to be a long post. Heads up for that.

So you're having a real bad panic attack & contemplating suicide. Your body is activated, your head is spinning, you're gonna reach for the knife. What can you do to make it better? Let's talk options outside of crisis support.

But first, let's talk about why there is a need to address options outside of crisis support in the first place, and why I feel the need to write something like this to begin with. Because yeah, ultimately, this is such a tricky topic to talk about and it's not something to be fooled around with. But for some of us who are actively fighting these types of thoughts on a daily basis, I hope this post can give you a sense of how to imitate a safety zone for when it goes from bad to worse and you feel like there's no one to call.

Suicide awareness is the issue of how to cope with stress. How to cope with the panic and anxiety and hopelessness of when it gets too big to handle by yourself.

The issue with crisis support, is that there is such a huge problem around institutionalization that forces people into a situation with unsafe mental health professionals and abusive staff. And it's incredibly dehumanizing to be forced into the equivalent of an adult time out in a facility that may or may not treat you like you're an actual human being in a safe, clean, and humane facility.

Lets not pretend that people arent still being forced into hospitalization as a form of control and punishment and abuse and subjected to abuse and unsanitary conditions. It still happens. Yes. Even in 2024, this is still an every day occurrence.

So when the panic hits, let's talk about what you can do to plan & prepare for a real crisis situation.

Preparing for Crisis: Safety Plan

Ah yes, the grippy sock vacation ole' reliable. The safety plan.

It may feel dumb & stupid to fill this out, but the purpose is to become aware of what triggers your panic and anxiety, and also what helps vs what makes it worse. That way you can counteract it with your favorite soothing methods. This helps so you can also gauge it on a scale of "yeah I can coast this out by myself" vs "nah fam I need help".

Here is an example of mine:

I feel unsafe when: My alters are too loud, I'm being talked over, not being listened to, the neighbor is outside yelling, I'm having flashbacks, anxiety, triggered, being looked at by others, breathing too hard, breathing too fast, body feels heavy, body feels frozen, can't move, can't breathe, crying a lot, body convulsing, racing thoughts, paranoid thoughts, fearful, heart beating too fast, etc

My triggers are: talking too loud, talking too soft, talking at all (I am nonverbal sometimes), flashbacks, anxiety, yelling, emotional abuse, personal space, privacy, being told what to do, loud noises, can't control my environment, being looked at

What would help: space to be alone, throwing a tantrum, coloring, ripping up a cardboard box, puzzles, activities, video games, teddy bears, comfort items, talking w my therapist, looking out a window, daydreaming, singing, humming, music, warm blanket, juice box, snacks

What would not help: looking at me, direct eye contact, yelling, screaming, accusatory language, demeaning me, being mean to me, hurting me, physical touch, comfort

Who can I call: my therapist, my cat, my teddy bear, my case manager, my neighbors, warm line, etc. Talk to your favorite fictional characters. They are there for you.

Where can I go: outside, the park, local burger joint, my kitchen, the bathroom, the spare bedroom, etc.

Preparing for Crisis: Remove The Weapons

Quarantine any and all unsafe items. Knives, guns, medicines, needles, extension cords, etc. Throw them out, lock them up, or give them to someone safe to hold onto. Remove them from the house entirely.

We can go deeper with this. Kitchen knives got you feeling stabby? Replace them with plastic kitchenware. Razor blades & meds? Disposable razors & medisets.

Spend some time considering what changes you can make around the house. Make your home feel safe.

Warning Signs: Change Your Environment

The quickest way to ground and self soothe is to make an immediate change in your environment. If the room is dark, turn on the lights. Open the windows. Open the doors. Step outside. Step into a different room. If there's no sound, turn on the TV. Put on a podcast. YouTube white noise and soundscapes.

This can work in other ways too. Grab the headphones. Grab a peppermint or a lemon drop or something spicy/sour. Grab something to drink. Grab a stim. Slime, play doh, something with texture, something you can fidget.

Take some time to think about what you'd like to use. You can put together a lil box full of trinkets and odds and ends for quick access. Control your environment to simulate what you'd imagine your ideal safe space to look like.

Warning Signs: Reconnect with Reality

Stand outside. Seriously, just do it. It helps. Open a window. Get some fresh air. Just do it. 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes.

Take deep breaths and ground yourself. Focus on something around you. Anything. What is it? What color is it? How big or small is it? Can you touch it? Is it cold? Is it warm? Can you squeeze it?

Warning Signs: Disconnect From The Stress

Put the phone down and get into an activity. Play a video game. Make some art. Draw your feelings. Color. Crochet. Anything hands on. Step away from the situation and do something relaxing or fun or otherwise stimulating for ur hands and brain to focus on.

This sucks. Yeah. But you're gonna make it worse by continually interacting and engaging with whatever it is that's stressing you out so big and hard that you're spiraling.

Even just 5 minutes will help. But it's a good idea to try for longer. Do you ever really consider how much stress you take in from other people's bullshit on the internet? Think about it.

Crisis Mode: Shut Down & Nest

One way to coast through a massive panic attack is to bunker down somewhere safe and sweat it out. So make a nesting space for you to crawl to while your body cries it out.

This can look like crawling in bed with the lights ON so you can still see and ground yourself through it, or laying on the couch with the lights ON and other comforts around.

Nesting is also good for recovery as a whole. Nesting can give us that sense of safety, that sense of comfort we're missing out on. It's a good idea to consider what areas of your home feel safest for you, and how you can make a lil nesting hole for you to run to. Make it safe, make it private, make it all your own.

Crisis Mode: Human Interaction

It's important to know when you can't coast it out on your own. Seek a human interaction. Any human will do. Neighbors, friends, family, warm lines, support groups, etc. Call someone. Inbox someone. Talk it out. Take a walk. Look at humans. Be human and be around humans.

If none of those apply, here's a really niche thing to try: Podcasts, let's plays, and YouTube videos are seriously goated for the friendly and warm atmosphere of having a conversation with someone.

But please remember if that is not enough then you should really consider reaching out to someone who knows you exist.

Crisis Mode: Where To Find Support

National suicide hotline: call or text 988

Reddit: r/adultsurvivors, r/C-PTSD, r/traumatoolbox

Discord: Trauma Survivors

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

Aftermath: Self Care

Look, nobody likes this okay and that's fine. Shower, or take a sink wash up. Baby wipes. No clean clothes? Go naked. There are no rules. You deserve to feel human again.

Do one good soul cleansing thing for yourself. This can be anything. Even just saying it out loud, "damn that was rough. I'm glad I made it." Self care is a mindset. It doesn't have to be big. Take some care for your self, however you need it.

Aftermath: Emotional Regulation

Take a deep breath. Soothe your nervous system. Roll your shoulders, wiggle your body, and breathe. Yes, there is actual science behind this shit. I have a longer & more in depth post about it here.

Final thoughts

Please remember that none of this is actually acredited or liscenced or anything at all. These are just things I've personally gone through that have helped me coast out massive panic attacks that had me spiraling into unsafe territory.

Hope this helps 🌸

[tomcatyowls]

@ anyone preparing to leave abusive parents / go no contact / leave home

when you are advised to "grab key papers" this is what people mean;

IMPORTANT Legal Identification ; id cards, passport, driver's license, social security number, medical/health card, vaccination records

KEY Papers ; birth certificates, marriage certificates, divorce papers, your will, power of attorney, property deeds, medical records & diagnostic paperwork, prescription details/documentation, health insurance information

DO NOT FORGET!! If you have ever been in contact with CPS or Police, take any documents or copies of reports involving you/your household.

EQUALLY AS IMPORTANT -

Financial Documents ; bank statements, insurance policies, tax returns, debit/credit card, access card, banking number, investment details, education fund details

Academic Documents ; IEP records, diplomas, transcripts, certificates, recommendation letters, recent/updated report cards, contact info of your past administration (ex; principals, guidance councillor, specialized educator)

Employment-Related Documents ; updated resume, work permits, reference letters, work certifications, key paperwork for your industry (ex; portfolios, technology, your tools)

[avoidantrecovery]

i love this video of venus williams being protected by her dad during her interview. because it it depicts something that is usually so hard to pin point, even if you've been through it.

the journalist asks a seemingly normal question about whether venus thinks she‘ll win and she says yes. he comments on how confident she is, which she agrees to. then he asks her why she thinks this and she begins to provide her answer, elaborating on her previous reply. he continues to prod. people who have never experienced emotional abuse, never seem to understand how banal some of it can come across as. you might even be called overly sensitive for picking up on something like this. and i‘m not saying that the journalist is emotionally abusing her, but it begins where he lets off essentially.

he is, consciously or not, trying to get under her skin and into her head, even though she is still a child. he wants a certain reply from her, maybe for her to show humility or uncertainty instead of her steadfast belief in herself. he never yells or looks angry, but he is applying pressure wants her to essentially change her own assessment and opinion of herself and her skills to suit his (needs). maybe he wants a certain headline, maybe it’s just a personal thing. and this is when her dad steps in.

and rightly so, he recognises what is going on immediately and wants to protect his daughter from limiting thoughts that might crop up in her mind due to these questions. even seemingly simple questions like that can unsettle and make someone unsure of what they just said. especially if it's a child/minor vs an adult in a conversation. and when it's done over and over again.

now imagine if instead of it being a journalist, it's your parent and there is nobody to stop the questions and interrogation. a parent who feels threatened perhaps by your youth or innocence or curiosity and naivety, things you don't have any control over and should be able to experience like everyone else gets to. every time you try to assert yourself, discover who you are as a person, start hobbies, a sport, just sit in your room, or go outside with the one friend you have, anything really...you are pummelled by a barrage of questions meant to make you doubt yourself. sometimes it's small comments, sometimes they are snide, other times passive-aggressive. you are told you are worthless, unwanted, a curse, and will never make it or survive without them. you are blamed for everything, you are attacked, you are triangulated into arguments that have nothing to do with you, even the love you still have for your parent(s) is rejected or viewed with suspicion. this goes on for hours sometimes. over and over again for years on end through your entire formative years.

as a result, your sense of self shrinks, shame begins to build and anything you associate with yourself makes you doubt and question. is it even worth it, are you able to do it, what is the point etc…? you begin to feel like an imposter, no matter how much you practise or how good you are. you feel like all love/care is transactional and since you already think lowly of yourself you the thought that nobody would ever truly value you begins to form. and if they do, you cannot handle it and you sabotage. when you‘re at you lowest and need to come up with a way to solve your problems, their questions and doubts come up to the surface, instead of what you actually need.

as children, the most important thing to our survival is our parents. so if they say something negative about us, we align our own thoughts and opinions with theirs in order to be on their good side, in order to survive. even if we know what they are saying is wrong. it is hard to hold two opposing views at the same time (also a source of neurosis according to jung) so sooner or later something will have to give.

i recently re-discovered the concept of limiting beliefs. it's essentially core beliefs that we picked up, usually in our younger formative years, that helped us get through a rough time, but still continue to influence our behaviour. this is the next thing i will look into for myself.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Don’t act like you support neurodivergent and/or disabled people if you’re going to use words like “overdramatic” and “overreacting”

Consider that you’ve never lived as anyone else and could not possibly know how their body and mind process things.

Consider that people will always react to a situation in accordance with how deeply that situation affects them.

Consider that severity of reaction is a direct reflection of experience.

[void-thegod]

there is something very disturbing to me about the concept of "loving yourself before you receive love"

as if one isn't worthy of it unless they love themselves

or perhaps shouldn't receive it unless x,y,z are fulfilled

love isn't something you earn with special credit. it's something you're given in spite of and because of who and what you are.

we all know people who are given love and understanding who are essentially human shit stains. if you don't know them, you've heard of them. and that is what it is. it is probably better that such people are given love rather than nothing or hate.

but what of the opposite? the people who SHOULD be given love and understanding but are not? some people go their whole lives never receiving or finding anyone to love or to be loved by.

for many reasons. but there are times when it is no fault of their own. they are surrounded by people who don't understand. perhaps they are strange and people are strange to them. maybe they are intimidating and/or intimidated by others.

and these people - the touch and love starved - are often told to "love themselves first" or are blamed for their predicament. or worse yet they're "reminded" that 'relationships aren't everything'.

sort of how most people are reminded that money isn't everything and it doesn't equate to happiness.

we need money bc of this system we're in.

we need love/understanding/connection bc of what we are.

now.. i would consider myself aplatonic, aromantic and asexual 99% of the time. bc 99% of people just aren't for me. that ive met, obv

but even i want a companion. someone who fulfills the need of a friend, a romantic partner, and a sexual partner. that's just me.

i love me. i understand me. i know for 100% fact that my issues - mental, financial, physical - are generally much smaller than a normal person's. why? bc i have worked on my issues my whole life to make them as small for ME to handle. so i know they're not that big of a deal.

most people struggle with the things i struggle with.

but most people aren't like me.

and i'm finding that's what matters more. whether they're able to really understand ME. sure. we can relate to each other's situations bc we are alive. but love/understanding is different between those who truly care and get one another.

what am i getting at?

that people are full of shit. i suppose. and many people are full of the same sort of shit.

but some aren't. and that is what makes them unlovable to others. their differences.

and isn't it fucked up that someone may actually be a good person but just so weird or intimidating that no one knows how to handle them? that that's the only reason they'll never receive love?

(receive love from someone they want in return)

and then i think "beggars can't be choosers" which is why people like me (good people, people who deserve better) end up with abusers or people who don't appreciate me.

and plenty of people deal with this. being chased by those they don't want. choosing incorrectly but hoping for the best. to be disappointed and crushed. by their own expectations or the expectations of their partner.

relationships in 2023... i don't know about them. so many people seen to have flimsy/insubstantial connections. even the people that shouldn't.

and nowadays "red flag" more often means "something i don't like" than something that is a real problem. and there are those who LIKE toxicity. who run from health. we've all done self destructive things. and what a sweet way to die - to kill oneself with love that is bad for you.

rather than to grow. but it's not linear. it doesn't make sense.

ah. that is how Life is. sometimes it's just nonsense and shitty at the same time it is magical and beautiful and true.

and perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.

[alostbeautynomore]

Well I did it - I broke up with my boyfriend. I am heartbroken and questioning if I did the right thing. He is hurting so much too. I really feel like I just threw my future away 😭😭😭 please message me anything positive or animal related bc those make me smile. I just need all the support I can get rn so I don’t spiral

[like-wuatafauq]

Things that have genuinely helped me with PTSD: TW:

(These are some things that worked for me that I figured out so they might not work for everyone)

• I took myself to a wreck room so I could wreck something without injuring myself (if you can't afford this, use old clothes, fabrics and tear it or just simply throw it out. This helped me a lot when it comes down to SA)

• Touching the nearest texture(like a wall or fabric) and focusing on it, I use this often when my mind confuses the location/time I'm at.

• Looking at the year/date and thinking how I'm no longer there or something is no longer happening

• Thinking of someone who calms me (if you feel that you don't have someone, think of how your body is there for you and trying its best, I've done both and when it comes down to thinking of my body caring for me it also helped me start caring for my body and taking the steps to feel/be more healthy, this eventually led me to do less selfharm things)

• Knowing that just because I'm trying to be healthy/ get better doesn't mean I should be mean to myself when I'm not.

• Practicing breathing techniques every now and then even when I'm not having a ptsd attack

• Allowing yourself to be cared for little by little to what you're comfortable of course but the right people/partner won't see you as a burden

• I struggled a lot with nightmares not just from SA but other life and military things so I stopped dissecting the nightmares to "fix" myself and would remind myself they are just nightmares, I also go to sleep with piano music instead of other music or even orchestra music that has big jumps in the song. Good examples of the calm piano music:

Stuff We Did by Michael Giacchino,Olga Scheps,

Before You Left by Yehezkel Raz

An Elephant for Mum by Joachim Heinrich

Back in Time by Borrtex.

Because these types of songs don't have drastic changes in volume/tempo throughout the song that can cause more sleep disturbance.

• Letting people know what your triggers are but also working on how they don't always have to be a trigger for you. What I mean: cabinets, doors or anything being slammed or making a slamming noise always triggers me and I've let my roommates know which they've done very good at but when they are rushing and something gets slammed etc. I remind myself they are not doing it on purpose and they are not trying to hurt me. I still flinch, I still worry, but not as much anymore and over time I've been able to even ask if something is up which before I use to just have a sinking feeling they were mad and would take it out on me. It helped me a lot to realize that just because I have a trigger not everyone is going to hurt me

• Doing childlike things help!!! Pretend ptsd is a bully and it's just being mean to you, tell it to go away!! I use to open up a window at night after I had a nightmare and would be like "okay that was mean go away"

• Going back to therapy and taking meds (and if you are already taking meds this is a quick reminder to take your meds with food and water so it doesn't upset your stomach)

• Deciding to actually move on. I have talked to multiple therapists about things but it took me a while to realize talking about it helps but doesn't always work on letting it go. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOURE GOING TO FORGET AND ITLL MAGICALLY DISSAPPEAR. This all took years, effort, and also allowing myself to take breaks, reminding myself that just because I still get nightmares, have triggers etc. Doesn't mean there isn't improvement. And just because there is improvement doesn't mean that what happened is no longer "as bad". It does not invalidate how bad it was. A big thing with any mental health disorders is admitted and allowing yourself to see that you're dealing with something hard. Just because what happened doesn't seem as bad or affect me as much anymore doesn't mean it wasn't a terrible thing, it certainly doesn't mean that if someday I need to breakdown as if it happened yesterday that all that work was for nothing. It was for something. It was to enjoy life a little better, care for myself a little better, be able to have better in all sorts of aspects. You deserve to be happy,loved and cared for after something shitty happened. Because the truth is it was shit. Can you honestly expect someone to go through something insane and be sane? No, so go easy on yourself,  take your time. The right people will be there for you, The right people will show up, The right people will stay and put effort and won't see you as a waste or burden.

I hope this helps anyone even just a tiny bit. If you need someone to talk to, rant or ask for advice etc. Just leave me a msg or an Ask, anon or not. Take care, it's going to be alright. And if it's shitty now, and there's nothing good anyone can say then, it's shit that's fucking shitty and you're allowed to feel like shit. Lastly, if you're not able to fully recover, I'm still proud of you and you should be too.

[oscill4te]

one good thing about changing my main social media from reddit to tumblr is not seeing misogynist memes everyday or fake sex stories from men on throwaway accounts where ur like 'no that didnt happen, you didnt have sex with your MILF landlord just by saying hi to her. Nice creative writing skills though." i just get to see cool aesthetic pics here, cool art, epic takes and true stories that actually did happen from cool women.

[mycptsdstory]

This is so wholesome 🥰