#making this look like a tabloid was so fun lol

[alitgblog]

since season 7 is coming soon (this week???), here's some inevitable news

[gatorbites-imagines]

This has been living rent free in my head and I need it to leave, lol.

So you know how like everyone loves Losis lane, flirting with her and all that?

What if a Rich Male Reader was going to a red carpet in Metropolis and he's a gentleman. However, instead of asking for Losis' company. He makes a casual beeline for Clark Kent, asking for his company for that evening. Kissing the back of Clark's hand in greeting.

I think Clark would be a flustered mess.

Clark Kent x male reader

Headcanons

I’m basing the reader off of a marvel oc of mine I’m pretty sure I’ve used in the past called Lockjaw, so you have a prosthetic jaw in this lmao. My head aches so much from doing chemistry homework, so I’m writing this as a reward.

You were a multi billionaire, rivaling Wayne in his riches and rank. But unlike Wayne, who was a big support to heroes like the justice league, you tended to stay neutral and not get too involved with the hero and villain world.

You were an incredible inventor though, standing side by side with the likes of Lex Luthor, but unlike Luthor you didn’t use your inventions for evil, but you didn’t use them for good either. You had been shunned and insulted by the world too much to love it as blindly as most heroes did.

Your prosthetic jaw was the cause of most of your childhood scorn. Your father had been what many called a crazy scientist, and in one of his wild experiments it had ended with your jaw being torn off your body.

Years passed without you showing yourself much to the public, until you appeared at 18, ready to take over your father’s juggernaut of a company, a black metal jaw and a cold look in your eyes.

The tabloids called you the ice king or even the ice emperor with how much power you carried, as you had never buckled under social pressure and had never been seen with a romantic partner.

But their most favorite name to call you was Lockjaw, because of your prosthetic. You had despised the name in the beginning because it made you remember the traumatic experience, but over time you made the name yours and yours alone.

You weren’t easy to manipulate like some rich people, you weren’t dumb, and you paid close attention to what happened around you, never letting someone get the upper hand.

You were extremely influential, single, and very handsome, so of course you were invited to most if not all large parties for the upper class, though you only went if it was something important. You didn’t party for fun, so when you showed up the place was always filled with more paparazzi than normal, trying to get a comment from you or a good picture.

Because of whom you are, you’ve had many run ins with heroes, and your extreme intellect has also made it that you needed to know about them. So, you most likely know the identities of most known heroes, villains, and anything in between. You have also fought many of them, especially villains, who think you are an easy target.

So, when you walked onto the red carpet to see not only Bruce Wayne but also Oliver Queen you couldn’t help but sneer, though your prosthetic jaw didn’t allow much movement of your mouth. Of course, you had never told them you knew their identities, why would you?

Out of all the heroes you liked Superman the most, so when you saw Clark Kent there, following close behind Lois Lane of all people, you almost couldn’t resist.

Lois of course wants a scoop of you as well because of your fame, but when she tries her usual tricks, she is sorely disappointed when none of them work. She, and everyone around you as well, are very surprised when you instead go to the big clumsy man following after her.

Clark is immediately flustered when you shake his hand, but also lift it to kiss the back of it. He had not expected you, the ice prince, Lockjaw, known for your dismissal of paparazzi and the outside world, to kiss his hand.

It’s not even an act when Clark starts blushing and looking around in confusion, because something must be wrong for that to happen.

Camera’s flash and people are yelling, asking all kinds of questions of course, because who was Clark and how did you two know each other? What had changed that got the ice prince to react like that?

But you don’t do much more than kiss the back of his hand and wink at Clark, before you are on your way again down the red carpet and into the party. Lois will immediately grill Clark for all he knows about you, and both Bruce and Oliver will be curious too as to why you picked Clark exactly.

After that the daily bugle would always send Clark to things you went too, hoping to get a good scoop or another world-shaking reaction. But you didn’t do much more than smile at him or wink, always flustering the kryptonian whenever you did it.

How else was he supposed to react to an extremely handsome, extremely rich, extremely sought after bachelor, who only seemed to have had this reaction towards Clark and no one else.

[katsu28]

hiii request for jamie tartt here🫡 i loved ur recent fic sm!!! could you maybe do the acacia flower or sunflower prompt? in my head i see hiding their relationship bc reader is a teammates sibling, but oopsie someone got heart eyes and started rambling haha

or literally anything else is fine too if this doesn’t strike your fancy lol<3 tysm!!!

hello!! i loved this so much, u are a gem for requesting it <3

acacia: a hidden relationship + sunflower: drunken rambling about their adoration, jamie tartt x kent!reader (no physical descriptors so imagine whatever sibling type u want!), 2k

“Are you sure we can’t tell him about us?” Jamie’s voice from where he was fixing his hair in the mirror pulled you away from your book and you glanced over at him. 

This was a question he posed to you all the time, and every single time, your answer was the same—though getting more creative with the details with every occurance. 

“Do you want my brother to gouge your eyeballs out? Cut off your dick? Possibly murder you?” 

Jamie paled, freezing in place. “Not particularly.” 

“Then no, we can’t tell Roy we’re seeing each other.” You picked up your book again, ready to resume your reading, but Jamie let out a noise resembling that of a kicked puppy’s whine. His shoulders slumped and he trudged over to you, throwing himself down on the bed in front of your crossed legs. 

Setting your book aside for good this time, you watched him make himself comfortable with his head in your lap, cheek pressed against your thigh as he looked up at you with the puppy dog eyes to match his previous whine. 

“I hate all the secrets. I have to lie to him, straight to his scary face, every fuckin’ day. D’you know how stressful that is? How stressed I am?” He huffed. You bumped your knuckles against his chin affectionately.

It wasn’t fair, Jamie having to face Roy and lie everyday when you had to do it a tad less often, but it was a necessary evil. One day, you’d tell your brother, but first you had to figure out how. 

This, among other reasons, were the downsides to being in a secret relationship with Jamie. There were tons of upsides too, no doubt about it. 

You had the privilege of seeing a softer, sweeter side of him that was reserved only for you, but you couldn’t go out in public with him. Nights in were your favorite dates, but sometimes you wanted to go to a fancy restaurant and eat expensive food and share a dessert with your boyfriend without needing to worry about the tabloids having a field day of it all. 

You could already see the headlines if the press ever caught wind of your relationship—AFC Ricmond Star Jamie Tartt Bags Manager Roy Kent’s Sister. They’d stir shit up, claim that Jamie was only with you because your brother was in a position of power over him and who knows what else. 

Most of all, you certainly couldn’t let Roy find out you were seeing one of his players, especially not Jamie fucking Tartt. They were friends now, but he’d always been overly protective of his sisters ever since you were all kids. He’d throw a fit and probably kill Jamie, then you. Well, he probably wouldn’t go that far, but you’d definitely be on his bad side until he got over himself. And you loved your brother to death, but he was a dickhead sometimes. 

“I’m gonna get early wrinkles, love. You don’t want me to have those, do ya?” 

“I think you’d look adorable with wrinkles. Like a cute little old man.” You dotted a kiss to his forehead, attempting to smooth out the crinkle between his eyebrows with your thumb. 

“That’s not funny.” 

“It’s a bit funny.” 

“Right, since you obviously don’t appreciate my problems, I’m off.” Jamie heaved himself off the bed, forcing out a rather overexaggerated sigh. You smiled innocently at him and he rolled his eyes, his own soft smile still on his face. He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips before heading for the door. “Dunno when I’ll be back but don’t wait up for me, yeah?” 

“Have fun, my love. I’ll just be here, thinking about you with wrinkles.” 

“Still not funny!” 

The Greyhounds were out in full swing tonight. Colin had somehow managed to book an entire pub for a whole night so they could drink and have a good time without being swarmed by the press vying for any morsel of gossip about one of the best up and coming Premier League clubs. Good friends, good food, even better beer—what more could anyone ask for? 

Jamie had been taking full advantage of it. That, paired with the fact that he no longer had to follow that god awful diet that deprived him of his beloved ice cold beverage, had led him to where he was right now, leaning heavily against the bar, drunk off his ass due to some sort of drinking game Jan Maas had insisted on teaching him. 

See, tipsy Jamie was fun. Very generous, would offer to buy a round or two, good for a few funny stories the next day. Absolutely pissed Jamie was a textbook oversharer. He didn’t make much sense, so everyone just mumbled a ‘very cool, mate!’ or something of the sort, made sure he didn’t topple over—those kinds of things. 

Roy was nursing his own beer next to Jamie tonight, half-listening in contained amusement as the Mancunian babbled on and on about someone. Who the fuck it was, Roy had no idea, but it was good entertainment and had soon garnered the attention of the rest of the team. Maybe this could be another one of those funny stories they could joke about in the locker room tomorrow. 

“She don’t look anythin’ like you, thank god. Imagine—imagine that! A lady Roy. Shit’s mad!” Jamie mused, amber beer spilling over the lip of the pint. “Nah, she’s the prettiest and the funniest and the coolest person ever and I love her.” 

“Who the fuck are you talkin ‘bout, bruv?” Isaac asked incredulously, looking just as amused as everyone else.

“Mate, I’m talkin’ ‘bout me girlfriend,” Jamie said very as-a-matter-of-factly, like they should’ve known that. “Duh.” 

“You’ve got a girlfriend? Since fucking when?” 

Jamie counted off on his fingers, scrunching his nose in thought. “Erm…four, five months? Maybe six?” He shook his head quickly, correcting himself. “No, not six. Would’ve done something special for six, wouldn’t I?” 

“First I’m hearing of it. How ‘bout you boys, did you know Jamie had a girlfriend?” Isaac asked, looking around. A chorus of ‘no’s and similar answers sounded amongst the others. Jamie’s brow furrowed. “It’s settled then. Who’s got the heart of the great Jamie Tartt?” 

“Good rhyme, boyo!” Colin chimed in, clapping his best friend on the back. 

Isaac looked proud of himself. “Whoa. I’m a fucking poet and I didn’t even know it.” He accepted another few praises before turning his attention back to Jamie, who looked like he was thinking really long and hard about something. “Okay, back to you. Tell us about her.” 

“I don’t even know where t’start, man,” Jamie sighed happily, resting his chin in his palm. “She’s kind and warm and—and she knows me better than anyone. It’s like…it’s like she’s an angel.” 

It was kind of weird, hearing Jamie be so open about his feelings for another person. He’d always been one to play things close to the vest, so that’s how they knew things with this secret girlfriend had to be serious. 

Sam beamed, happy as ever that his friend had found someone special. “Surely the angel from above has a name? Maybe one of us knows her?”

“Y/N.” 

The room fell silent. Everyone turned to look at Roy, who looked like he was about to start punching dicks. 

“Y/N, like…Roy’s sister, that Y/N?” Sam replied hesitantly, drawing pointed looks from every single one of his teammates. “I’m just confirming! There are other people named Y/N in London, you know.” 

Jamie pointed in his teammate’s general direction, nodding aimlessly. “Yep, her. That’s my girl.” 

Roy stood from his seat without a word, grabbing Jamie under the arm and dragging him towards the door. 

“Hey man, what the fuck are you—” 

“Just fucking shut up, will you?” 

“Okay.” 

You were about to call it quits on finishing your book and turn in for the night when the doorbell rang. When you went to open it, you definitely weren’t expecting to see your brother standing on your doorstep, practically carrying your half asleep boyfriend and looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. 

“Your prick boyfriend got proper pissed. Where do I put him?” 

So Roy knew. And judging by the way Jamie was swaying on his feet, you guessed that he’d been the one to let the cat out of the bag. 

“Erm, couch is fine. I’ll get him settled later.” You opened the door a little wider to let them in and Roy grunted his acknowledgement, hauling Jamie over to the couch and promptly dumping him onto the cushions.

Jamie didn’t even flinch when his face hit the pillows, instead just letting out a dreamy sort of sigh and smacking his lips together without even opening his eyes. You were the one to roll him over onto his side, nudging the dustbin right near his head before covering him with a blanket. 

“How much did he drink?” You asked, smoothing the walnut mist strands away from his eyes. 

“Too fucking much, that’s how much.” Roy grumbled. He wandered over towards a different area of your flat, not wanting to wake Jamie. “Jan Maas taught him a Dutch drinking game, except that fucker can actually hold his alcohol.” 

You cast a fond glance back at your boyfriend, smiling softly at his peaceful face. “Yeah, this one can’t really drink much anymore. Said it’s because of your training regimen, the no beer thing.” 

“Of fucking course you’d know.” 

“I assume Jamie told you about us.” You said quietly, picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of your jumper instead of looking at Roy. Another vague low noise of acknowledgement from him, though it sounded a bit more strained this time. “If it helps you come to terms, Jamie’s been wanting to tell you for ages. I was the one who wanted to keep it under wraps.” 

“Why?” 

You let out a humorless chuckle, shaking your head. “‘Cause I knew what you’d think. Knew what you’d have to say about it.” 

“Are you a mindreader?” 

“No.” 

“Then how would you know what I’d think?” 

“Oh come on, Roy, you don’t think I know how you are? You get…dickish. I still remember you scaring off poor Billy Montgomery in year nine!” 

“Billy Montgomery was a fucking wanker, that’s why.” 

“Yeah, I know that now,” You huffed, scowling. Roy raised an expectant brow at you. “You’ve always been outspoken about the people I date. I just—I didn’t want you to be that way with Jamie. I know you’ve had your differences, and I know you’ve made up, but…I dunno, I was just worried about what you’d think of us.” 

“Do you love him?” Roy asked stiffly. There was a tic going in the hard line of his jaw when he forced his gaze to yours, and it almost looked like he was in the middle of shitting a brick. If you hadn’t been so nervous about his reaction, you probably would’ve laughed. 

“I do. A lot, actually. He’s…everything I could’ve asked for. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner.” 

“Then it shouldn’t fucking matter what I think.” Roy said. “Jamie makes you happy, and that is the only thing that matters.” 

To say you were taken aback was an understatement. You’d been so worried about how you thought your brother was going to react to the news, you never stopped to consider that maybe Jamie wasn’t the only person who’d been working to change for the better. 

“Thank you, Roy.” 

Caught up in your heartfelt sibling talk, neither of you had noticed Jamie had woken up and stumbled over to the two of you until he gathered the two of you into a rather squished hug.

“My two favorite people, the Kent siblings! You guys are the best!” He slurred, nuzzling into the embrace. Roy let out a growl, but he patted Jamie’s back stiffly nonetheless. You had to stifle another laugh at how utterly uncomfortable he looked right now. “Oh fuck, I think I’m gonna throw up—” 

“That’s it, I’m fucking leaving.” Roy shoved Jamie away from him, wiping his hands off on the front of his jacket and heading for the front door. “Make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit and tell him he’s still got training tomorrow, I don’t care how shitty he feels!”

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)

[meruz]

i hope this hasn't been asked before. what size do you make your canvas? and do you crop it to fit other socials (like Instagram for example)? i hear that 300 dpi is standard. i never know if it's good to make my canvas big or not.

hi i think this ask is like at least 4 months old but i was scanning my sketchbooks from last year and i abruptly remembered i had gotten this ask because i had made a little chart in my sketchbook trying to figure out how to answer it

anyways theres pros and cons. and the size of your canvas is really going to depend on personal needs + preference. how good ur computer is, how complicated ur art style, how comfortable drawing feels, how much disk space you have to spare, what youre gonna end up using the art for in the end...300dpi is standard for PRINTING specifically, if you only plan to ever post things online then 72dpi works great and will save you space (fun fact a lot of professional animation files i deal with are 72dpi. and those eventually go on your tv screen). but personally i make everything i draw 300dpi because i am always printing stuff for cons, zines, etc and its nice to have the option even if i dont end up printing.

when I was a teen I used to draw on a rly shitty laptop and i made everything 800x800px 300dpi because big canvases would cause a lot of lag and also the resolution on this laptop was pretty small so 800px was a lot of the screen already. now i have a slightly better laptop with a bigger resolution and i sketch on giant 10000px-40000px canvases with the hard round brush and no shape dynamics or transfer whatsoever to minimize lag. when it comes to making a final illustration when i know ill be using a bunch of layer effects/blending modes/colors/mixing brushes etc etc ill generally crop the canvas down to the 6000px range. most illustrations i try to make sure are comfortably printable on tabloid size paper so thats pretty much anything hovering around or above 3000x5000px w 300dpi (so 11x17in). HOPE THIS HELPS?

EDIT: OH ALSO re: socials. i always ALWAYS size down my art to post on the internet. i think its crazy when other artists dont. because why would i ever let the internet have my hi-res file for free. also in general i think it looks better if you do the resizing yourself because if you don't then many social media sites will compress your file for you! a lot of people will post a hi-res file to twitter and then go "Wow twitter killed the quality of this img!!!" UH YEAH because they have an automatic image compressor. because they need to save space too lol and they dont want your image to take 248263895 years to load. same with instagram and to a lesser extent tumblr. when i post anything on social media i resize it down to 1200px-1600px on the longest side... its a little arbitrary but im kind of basing it on the smallest resolution of widely available screens. mostly because i think it looks stupid when u open up an image file fullsize and u have to scroll to see the whole thing... also iirc instagram only takes images up to 1080px before it resizes them? granted if you upload something smaller than that itll also resize it up which will look worse so I think bumping the numbers just over 1080px is pretty safe.

I should really be bringing the dpi down to 72 too when i post online but often im too lazy to do that. but it will technically help ur image load faster and stuff. and make it less likely for people to yoink it off the web and print it themselves.

[hostilemuppet]

Brozone (and friends (and enemies)) twitter drama au

Collaborative between me and @squirrelpatties. Truly our magnum opus

Jd: previously a frequent twitter e-clown infamous for name searching and starting beef with people who insulted him. His fanbase thought it was hilarious in a "grandpa escaped the hospital" way. Eventually was forced to relinquish control of @/brojohndoryofficial to his pr manager (clay) after he responded to 14 y/o @/j0ndryballzweat.

Floyd (part 1): his sex tape (with a fan he didnt know was a fan but thats hardly relevant) gets leaked. For the first three days everyone's timeline was full of "do NOT share it around, dont even look for it, if someone sends it to you IGNORE it, this is a disgusting breach of privacy" until Floyd addresses it by tweeting "decided to put on a different kind of show for you guys" and all hell breaks loose. Every tweets hidden replies are full of screencaps and reuploads for a month. People edit the video so just before anything explicit happens it's replaced by a video game cutscene or meme, which Floyd retweets a lot of. His brothers ask him to stop (both for publicity and bc it makes them uncomfortable) so he starts posting thirst traps on insta. Clay yells at him so Floyd tweets "clay just asked when I'm gonna get a girlfriend :/" which brings us to-

Clay: homophobia allegations. Admittedly the least serious and would have blown over quickly if it weren't for him panic tweeting "I'm not homophobic! My girlfriend is a bi lesbian!" People were NOT happy. It takes him three days of retweeting 'helpful educational threads and carrds' on lesbianism written by 14 y/os for people to get off his back. Viva understands.

Bruce: stays off social media bc its the mind killer so he lets clay take care of @/brobruceofficial. This goes well until clay gets drunk and thinks he's on his private account but is actually on Bruce's public. When he wakes up (hungover) in the morning hes got Bruce banging on his door asking why TMZ is reporting on him cheating on his wife. Bruce tells him to clear things up but clay JUST got the lesbians off his back and can't afford to be back in the hotseat...

Branch and poppy: branch was annoyed by all the branch/poppy rpf fanfic (poppy likes them bc she thinks they're cute and funny. When brozone go on tour she reads the smutty ones) so he suggested to poppy that they stage a fake breakup. Poppy is initially against the idea until branch brings up how much fun itd be to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. Poppy scrapbooks the tabloids about their breakup. Clay and Bruce blame clays drunken tweets on branch so clay seems like the victim. Poppy acknowledges this on twitter in a way that very heavily implies they broke up bc branch was cheating on her with her own sister. Viva does not understand. This one doesn't have a resolution yet bc we moved onto:

Barb: previous lesbian icon turned reactionary transphobe. Riff stopped associating with her once she started getting really public with it and now she keeps tweeting stuff like "you-know-who left me just to work with misogynists. Really makes you think 🤔 " which he ignores.

Riff: while still working with barb he was approached to collab with creek (damage control for the... unsavoury things he said about rock trolls). The second the song released he tweeted "wow that guy was an asshole LOL" bc he didn't realise he wasn't supposed to do that. Cut contact with barb once her transphobia went from "mild, I can fix her" to "jesus fucking christ". Briefly worked with Floyd until his second controversy at which point riff tweeted "cmon, man" and turned off his phone. Riff hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves a lot better

Velvet: crafted the perfect expose thread on Floyd when she was in prison, including "pro life" "publicly sharing inappropriate sexual content" and "uses the toothpaste flag". Posts it the second she gets let out of prison and instantly becomes #1 on trending (alongside "floyd" "pro life" and "#HUGS4CLAY).

Floyd (part 2): tweets "why does it even matter that I'm pro life if I'm gay and don't 'believe' in 'voting'" before doing another line off his boyfriends torso. People bring his leaked nudes back up and start insulting his dick size and its the first time hes ever let a controversy bother him. His next tweet is "I am not ashamed of my body" and the top reply (creek pfp) is "you should be ❤". Clay is biting the skin off his own tongue.

[sonicslushie]

When the Devil's Calling Pt. 1~P.P.

Summary: Y/n Stark is something of a nightcrawler, what happens when her antics become a little too much? 

Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

A/N: we’re gonna say the reader and peter are both over the age of 18 in this for my sanity’s sake. slooooooow burn on this one and lots of angst, that’s just how Miley makes me feel lol. Based off of some songs off of Miley’s Plastic Hearts album.

part 2 is out now, also here’s a playlist to listen to as u read

TW: drinking and drug abuse, what reads like a suicide attempt but i promise it’s not (you'll see), peter doesn’t show up until the very end, probably some grammar mistakes

Word Count: 2.8k

“Did you hear about that Tony Stark’s kid? She was caught hooking up in a bathroom at some bar again. I swear she’s turning out just like her father.” 

“Junior Stark; arrested for public intoxication… What is this? The 4th or 5th time?” 

“I saw Y/n Stark down at the bar off 31st, and you will never guess what she was doing! Bumped a line then took a shot off of a stranger. I didn’t think the rumors were true.” 

“Stark’s kid is in the news again, knocked a guy out with one punch over a seat at the bar, she never fails to amaze, huh?” 

Rumors. That’s what it started with. Rumors that Tony Stark’s daughter was out almost every night of the week drinking or doing drugs, hooking up with strangers. Or at least, your father thought they were rumors, until he started seeing you headline the news or on the cover of scandal magazines looking like you weren’t even aware of your surroundings. Of course, you knew the so-called “rumors” were true. Honestly, the tabloids didn’t even know half of the truth. But to be frank- you didn’t care. 

You didn’t care that the media had this bad perception of you, if anything it aided you. To be one of the most well known billionaire and superhero’s daughters wasn’t exactly what you expected it to be. Everything you did from the time the world accidentally found out about you was scrutinized, giving your father all the credit for your accomplishments. If everything they were going to say was going to be bad, why not give them something to truly write about. 

That’s exactly what you did. 

It started around the age of 17, it was easy to come by a fake I.D. and a few extra dollars to slip any bouncer who might have known who you were. They say money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure as hell buys booze and silence. The first time you went out was actually because your friends wanted to see this local band at a bar not too far from your place, so why the hell not? The music was what kept you going out, it thrummed through your veins, as did the alcohol, which might have had a positive effect for the mediocre band. Bodies moved together, nobody seemed to care who you were, or better yet, who your father was. Everyone was there for two reasons; to get drunk and dance. You lived for it. 

The feeling of drunken freedom took hold of you, filled every part of you that seemed to be lacking. No thoughts of living up to Tony Stark’s image, no thoughts of your late mother, nothing of the responsibilities you held in your everyday life. In those bars you were just you under a fake name, living through the music and kissing strangers and free to just exist. 

It was fun, so you kept doing it. Once every weekend turned into entire weekends, turned into every other day of the week, turned into every night. Sometimes you wouldn’t come home for days on in, night crawling turned into going home with a different stranger every night. You fed the media lies until they weren’t lies anymore. It was just the sorry truth that turned into your life. 

But the truth that was way deep down inside never surfaced when you were fucked up. So you kept doing it. 

That is, until one day your dad held an “intervention”. Really it was just him locking you in a room with him and scolding you for being so reckless. Lasted for hours. He even called Steve to lecture you- which if you’ve ever had a Steve lecture you know it’s the worst possible thing in the world. Every bit of old wise man slang was used, and had you not been high out of your mind, you probably would have crawled your own eardrums out just to stop the ridiculous mix of your dad and Steve scolding you about the only thing that made you feel better. 

Did it stop you though? 

Nope. 

Today was no different, you got ready in your nicest going out clothes, hair all done up and makeup on, even had a throwback playlist playing as you got ready. (Katy Perry and Taylor Swift are the best hype women out there.) Everything was normal, a few shots to pregame, then you were ready to see the night. 

That is, until you hit the first bar, one right around the corner from the Stark Tower, a locally owned gay bar that was one of your favorites. Now that you were 21, you didn’t even need your fake and most of the bouncers knew you from the various times they’ve seen you there. But this time, they didn’t let you in. 

“You’re banned,” one of your favorite bouncers, Jimmy, said to you as you were about to walk past him. You stopped dead in your tracks, they were playing one of your favorite songs and all you wanted to do was get a tequila sunrise and dance. 

“Huh?” Was all you could get out before another bounce- Brody- stepped in your way. 

“You’ve been banned. Sorry girl, but it’s from the higher ups.” Jimmy says, looking guilty. No this wasn’t going to stop you from having a good night, and honestly it’s not like it hasn’t happened to you before. If we’re going to be completely honest, you blacked out last time you were here, and when that happens it’s safe to say they probably had a good reason to ban you. 

So you sighed and walked away, no need to make a scene at the best bar in New York. 

You decided to go a little further, a few blocks away was another good bar. Not your fav, but it’ll definitely get the job done. You wait in line, and finally when it’s your turn to go in, you get stopped again. 

“Sorry ma’am, you’ve been banned.” The bouncer says, not even looking guilty this time. 

“I’m sorry, what?” You ask, this time your blood started to boil as the shots you took before you left started hitting. 

“You heard me.” He said, then started talking to the girls behind you, who recognized you and were starting to talk. Fucking great. 

But you tried to keep your cool as you ordered an Uber, this time you were going to go to Manhattan. You haven’t been there in a few months, there’s no way you’d be banned from any of those bars, right? 

Wrong. 

Bar after bar rejected you, and after the 11th one, you lost your cool. 

“You’re banned, get lost.” The bouncer said to you, the rudest out of all the ones you had spoken to that night. And after 11 attempts, you were beyond pissed. The mix of the shots starting to wear off, the bouncer telling you to get lost, and the music you aren’t able to dance to playing in the background just got to you. Before you could even process it, you punch the bouncer. Then you swipe his legs out from under him (a move Natasha taught you), then you kicked the man while he was down, shouting something about how you “just want to dance” and “you can’t do this to me” and “someone’s going to get their asshole ripped out of them and stuffed into their piehole”. 

In your rageful fit, the police were called and there in a split second, pulling you away from the bouncer who just got all of your wrath, and you were hauled away. 

Only you weren’t taken to jail, like many times before. You were dropped off at the Stark Tower, your father waiting on you right outside the doors. 

Oh. Oh. 

He had done this. He had gotten you banned from all the bars within a 30 minute drive, probably in all of New York. As the police unhandcuffed you and told you to thank your dad for not being taken to jail, all you saw was red. Completely sober you was not a nice you, and that’s where you were at now. And all of your anger was pointed at one person; your father. 

Once the police left, you stomped up to your father, “How dare you-” 

“We’ve already talked about this. Get inside.” He says, absolutely no emotion in his voice. Tony Stark was not an easy person to piss off, especially hard for his daughter to piss him off, but he was done. He had enough of you embarrassing him in the media, you were all his colleagues talked about while he was around. All you were doing was ruining your life when you had every opportunity to be successful and looked up to. This is what it had come to. 

“You’re not even going to listen to what I have to say?” You ask, following him inside the lobby. He shakes his head, “Honestly I don’t care what you have to say, Y/n. You’ve done enough. Tomorrow, you’re going to work with me and get your life together. This conversation is done.” 

“No it’s not- Tony!” You try to follow him onto the elevator but he closes it on you, saying something to FRIDAY about a meeting he has to attend and to not let you leave this building. You stand there, dumbfounded. He had never treated you like this, and all you could feel was rage. Somewhere deep down, sadness started to bubble up but you pushed it down. You had liquor in your room, that would do for the night. Maybe some kicking and punching a dummy in the training room would help too. 

You waited on the elevator, and finally it came back to take you up to your room. On the way up you try to plan your revenge but the only thing you could think of was the disappointment in your dad’s face when he saw you step out of the police car. Sure he had looked at you like that before, but never with so much sadness behind his eyes. You’ve never really seen sadness like that in your dad since your mom died, and it really just hurt. That sadness being because of you was never your intention, it hit a little too close to home. 

You stepped off the elevator, shaking the tears away from your eyes. Alcohol, that was the plan. You just needed to find your stash under your bed compartment and-

It was gone. It was all gone. 

At first you just stood there, once again dumbfounded. How many times in one night was this going to happen, I mean seriously? Of course he thought of everything he’s your dad, he knows you almost as well as you know yourself. And while you called it your “secret stash” it wasn’t so secret. For the daughter of a genius, hiding it under your bed compartment was not the best move. 

Before you could even move for the door, FRIDAY says over the intercom, “Mr. Stark has asked me to keep you in the Tower and away from any substance that will take away your sobriety. I have locked your door, it will unlock at 7 am. Have a goodnight, Ms. Stark.” 

“‘Have a goodnight, Ms. Stark,’” you mock the AI, spinning around and falling onto your bed. 

“I heard that and I did not appreciate it,” FRIDAY says,  you grab a pillow and scream into it. First your dad, now FRIDAY is disappointed in you. This was going to be the worst night of your life. 

You leave the pillow on your face, but throw your arms down like an angry toddler. The immediate escalation of your thoughts surprised you, the fact that FRIDAY seemed mad at you- if an AI can even get mad at a human- was a tipping point. You were used to everyone else being upset with you, but FRIDAY? She was always in your corner. It hurt that everyone in your life seemed to be disappointed in you, always had been in fact.

You moved the pillow, needing air as tears threatened to fall. Nobody cared to ask why you went out every night and got fucked up. Nobody cared to ask why you never attended “family” dinners, never made any attempt to be friendly with your dad’s friends and teammates, anything. If they cared enough to want you to stop, why didn’t they ask you how you felt? 

The fact of the matter was, you were never the same after your mother died. Your father was happier when she was alive, more attentive with you, made time. After, he fell into his work, leaving you- an 8 year old- to mourn your mother by yourself. He had Happy spend a lot of time with you, and you loved Happy, but he wasn’t your father. Your dad was the only one who truly knew how you felt, felt all the pain that you did, but he did nothing to help you. There would be days you wouldn’t see him, and little 8 year old you didn’t know how to get over the death of your mother. You ended up bottling it up because that’s what it looked like Tony was doing. It became hard to even talk about your mother, so you decided to pretend like it didn’t happen. It was like a flick of a switch, one day you were crying all day long, the next you were quiet, more reserved than you had ever been. You stayed like that until that fateful day you went to the bar with your friends. 

But it didn’t matter now. 

Everything that made you feel better was gone, everything made you forget and just live in the moment- done. Honestly it was worse than jail, you were locked in your own head with no way out. Everything just felt numb. 

You were moving towards your balcony without thinking, a tablet in your hands to turn off the cameras and FRIDAY’s access to your room. You stood on your balcony, looking at the city that laid in front of you. The lights were so pretty, the skyline dark and blissful. You wanted that bliss. 

Lord only knows how long you stood out there before you climbed up on the edge of your balcony, unrelenting tears streaming down your face. You stood, trying to keep your balance. Feeling the slight breeze on your body was nice until- 

You slip, a scream escaping your lips. 

Dear god, this was it, you were going to die. You didn’t actually plan on jumping off of the edge, you just wanted to feel something that wasn’t sadness or anger. A rush of something that might take your sober mind off of all the heartache. 

You screamed and screamed, you lived on one of the highest floors and in your terror the fall felt like forever. Of course even your death was going to take a long time, just your luck. 

Your screaming was cut off but something running into you, or rather catching you. Your eyes had squeezed shut, bracing for the impact of the hard concrete. You forced your eyes open as you felt your body going up, in the arms of someone. 

You were met with a masked man who you’ve seen in the media- Spiderman. He looked down at you, not saying a word as he swung you to a nearby roof. 

He lands, still holding you as if afraid that if he let go, you would go flying off this roof too. After a breathless second you say, “Thank you.” 

“I- you’re welcome, Y/n.” He says, saying your name like it was something sweet on his tongue. Of course he knew who you were, you were all over the media and your father employed him. You were just glad he didn’t say your name how everyone else said it, with disappointment or anger.

 He put you down gently, still holding onto as you wobble and shake from the anxiety of almost falling to your death.

“Look, I know what it looked like, but I promise I wasn’t trying to… You know.” You say quietly, looking down at his gloved hands still holding your arms gently. It wasn’t something you were used to; gentle. The strangers you took home were always so aggressive and full of lust, but you didn’t get that feeling from the masked hero. He did it out of the goodness of his heart. He was kind. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. I’m just glad you're okay.” He says, his thumb rubbing your arm in a comforting manner. When was the last time you’ve been held like this? God it must have been years ago. It was a foreign feeling, but somewhat nice. 

“Well, thank you again…” You say, silently asking for his name. You know that he has a secret identity, but seeing as your father employs the guy, you figure it’s only a matter of time before you find out anyway. 

He takes his mask off to reveal a dude around your age, eyes locking with yours.

“Peter. Peter Parker. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

~

Part 2

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

Episode 3

Meghan calls the engagement interview “an orchestrated reality show” during her own orchestrated reality show. Hilarious. These two deserve the Nobel Prize for Lack of Self-Awareness. 

Cringe Diana montage. Royals acting “absolutely thrilled” about the engagement. Lol, Catherine’s face is epic. 

Meghan complains they weren’t allowed to tell “their story” during the engagement interview. I get the feeling she really wanted to tell the world about the Call of Duty costumes and penguin onesies. Well, the world now knows, Meghan. We just wish we didn’t.

BTW, the engagement interview looks a lot less orchestrated than what they are doing now. The cozy space, the comfy sofa, and the sympathetic interviewer nodding along and validating all their bizarro statements (“I didn’t know much about him”) all make a huge difference. 

Weird historical montage. Honestly baffled as to why they are spending time on this and not on Skippy’s wedding or the reaction to the Vanity Fair article. Yes, it’s the race card but you can play that card with the VF interview backlash and it’s a lot more relevant and relatable. The “objective” (not really) historical viewpoints break the rhythm and take the viewer out of the story. I have no idea why they are using them. Maybe they are trying to sell Netflix a historical documentary to follow up this one?

Talking about clothing. Pic of dress from June 2018 but they aren’t even married yet at that point. Dog still had its legs in casts then? Poor puppy.

Different Restoration Hardware showroom in 2021. New York City. Makeup artist dude and Archewell person who just quit. Harry has no idea what a royal correspondent is, which is honestly surprising. I knew he was dumb but I didn’t realize he was this dumb. The only journalist who just called himself a royal expert with no substance was Omid Scobie and that’s the guy they use.

Wait, was this the NY visit when they filmed the fake pap scene? Why didn’t the makeup artist pretend to be a pap? That would have made it more believable. C’mon makeup person. There’s no I in teamwork.

Complaining about the press…with Kate and Camilla’s headlines. Use your own headlines, cowards! Harry’s “their trauma is our narrative” quote is very amusing as he’s using the same strategy to sell his documentary. It reminds me of the old “when you fight the monsters you become a monster” concept. He claims to the the tabloids for exploiting his family, but he has effectively become a little exploitative tabloid, selling his family’s trauma to keep his wife in upscale yoga wear. A childhood friend says Meghan was never obsessed with Princess Diana. Girl, the past two episodes of this documentary strongly disagree with you.

Meghan complains about her mom’s family being quiet and classy and her dad’s family “acting differently.” She doesn’t seem to realize that she is a true Markle in this regard and she’s doing to the royals what her family did to her. The royals are being quiet and classy, and she’s “acting differently.”

Samantha’s daughter shows up. She doesn’t remember Samantha but she has a close relationship with her niece? They are a weird family. I do love the fact that Eugenie and Ashleigh are now token family members.

Princess Michael’s brooch. Racist art that is apparently not in any of the palaces. Unconscious bias. Harry clearly has no idea what the term means. Nazi uniform. 

Sandringham is “like the big family I always wanted… with movement and energy and fun” which is not how anyone has ever described Sandringham. The Carolyn Bessette Kennedy cosplay was because she wanted to blend in. Oooookay. Kate’s Christmas coat was so epic. 

Super awkward military visit they did in November 2021. They sound like entertainers and Harry’s clown act does not fit the US military culture. They get awards “for everything they do” which makes no sense. Royal military promo montage. again, with no acknowledgement that his soldier persona was crafted by the same tabloids he now rails against. The Daily Mail were the ones who created the “hero Harry” image just as they created his “African philanthropist” image when he was a teen. 

Royal Foundation event. Isn’t blue a color? Pretty sure she’s wearing blue, and so is Kate. Lol, first time her divorce is mentioned, I think. Meghan jumps on the #MeToo bandwagon, just like she jumps on every press friendly movement. A journalist notes that Kate didn’t wear black to the Baftas and Camilla never mentioned #MeToo. Interesting that now, five years later, Kate has her big mom-oriented First Years project, Camilla’s charity work with women has grown and grown, and #MeToo has completely fizzled. Who has done more for women in past five years? The woman who jumped on the media bandwagon or the two stalwarts who focused on working with and building organizations?

I’d forgotten how bad she looked in the first engagements. Unkept hair, Ill-fitting clothes…but the tabloids still supported her at that point.  Sandringham…poo emoji hat… She’s complaining that Julie Andrews didn’t tell her her hat looked like the poo emoji? Do you really need a protocol officer for that? 

“Everything is just…smaller.” She clearly didn’t take her job seriously at all. 

Fugly red dress fitting.  Four Carolina Herrera employees helping her and she still looked awful. That takes real talent. Harry ask whether she has ever had four people help her into a dress.

She never wore color? I guess the purple and red monstrosity was just a bad dream. And didn’t she just show pics of the Royal Foundation forum where she and Kate both wore blue?  That was five minutes ago, Meg! We haven’t forgotten it. 

Of course you can wear the same color as the Queen. Lol, she just made up a protocol, right after complaining that the tabloids made up royal protocols. Seriously, who edited this documentary? She’s also wearing muted tones right now. 

“I didn’t want to embarrass the family.” I’m confused. This was Sandringham before the wedding and she had just worn a $75k dress in her engagement pictures, but she claims she didn’t want her clothing to “embarrass the family”? She “didn’t want to stand out,” so she sent out engagement pics in a see-through, $75k dress with feathers?????!!!!! I need to rewatch this because I literally can’t believe this. “There is no version of me joining this family and not trying to do everything I could to fit in.” Girl, you dressed up as a burlesque performer and sent the pics to everyone. What are you talking about?

Samantha’s tweets are shown right after the “I don’t want to embarrass the family” comment. Yes, that. 

BTW, no mention of a stay at Amner Hall or the “Fab Four” show of support. 

She was “turtling”? She was sending out invites to Oprah and the Clooneys. That’s not exactly turtling. Lol, no mention of her “very meaningful” religious conversion she supposedly had during this time. Didn’t Charles supposedly give her a Birk’s bracelet as a present? No mention of that either.

The palace didn’t let invite her niece? Please, they were desperate to have any family at all show up. The niece who was practically a sister attending the wedding would have been a godsend…of course she would have had to be Maid of Honor and Jess couldn’t have that. This girl is pretty and Meg wasn’t going to risk a Pippa Middleton situation. Simple as that.

Serena Williams shows up sounding like a zombie. 

Commonwealth Day. Weird “Commonwealth is evil” montage. Weren’t these two heads of the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust, and Youth Ambassadors? Didn’t Meghan add all the flowers of the Commonwealth to her veil? The Commonwealth wasn’t so evil then, was it? They don’t dare criticize the Queen directly so they bring in academics. Cowards. LOL, I googled one of the academics criticizing the “imperial” aspects of the nation and he literally has an Order of the British Empire. You can’t make this stuff up.

Stephen Lawrence murder memorial underscores that they abandoned this platform to sell tawdry gossip to Netflix. 

Dad drama. Lol, she used her dad’s texts. Weird to bitch about dad selling pics to improve his public image when they are doing the same in this doc. “It’s amazing what people will do when offered a huge amount of money.” It sure is, Harry.

Dad picture story comes out. Lol, her agent admits he knew it was a set up when the book pic came out. They really should have done a better job briefing these people. They are giving her away right and left. The book pic came out April 4 and Harry and Meghan were pretending the pics weren’t set up and complaining to IPSO through mid-May. I gotta say, Meghan bitching about her father talking to TMZ is hilarious given that she did a two hour Oprah interview and she’s now doing an entire documentary. 

This whole scene explaining why they didn’t confront Thomas feels very fake. I bet they have repeated this song and dance many times in front of the Royal Family. Tom Bower confirmed that they were summoned to Castle Mey to discuss the dad drama so my guess about that was right.

“You’re not picking up my calls and are instead talking to TMZ.” I’m dying. They did the same thing with Oprah. BTW, I’m pretty sure they had to pay TMZ for this footage and TMZ was the outfit that first published Harry’s naked Vegas pics, which have not been mentioned in the documentary yet. If you’d told me ten years ago that someday Harry would be paying royalties to TMZ I wouldn’t have believed you. Yet, here we are.

Very weird episode. They could have focused on their charity work, connecting it to the events they did before the wedding—minority neighborhoods, women’s issues, Stephen Lawrence, Commonwealth meetings etc… and they instead chose to use those events to cast the royal family as racist and imperial. And the supposedly imperial aspects of the family—the Commonwealth, Africa, the Caribbean—were the ones they were going to work in. It’s a very odd position for the heads (or ex-heads) of the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust to take.

The new spin on the dad story is also very strange. The fact that they never visited him and broke all contact with him after the pics made a tiny bit of sense when he was portrayed as a greedy asshole, but the new spin is that he was manipulated by the evil tabloids who took his phone, didn’t let him call his family and then texted his daughter pretending to be him. That doesn’t make him a villain. It makes him a victim. She has spent three hours demonizing the tabloids and now she says they basically kidnapped her sick, elderly father….and she just shrugs it off? It’s bizarre.

No comment from husband other than to say the niece was cute and the red dress was ugly. Group chat agrees the dress was ugly and she's doing the same thing her dad was doing. Much typing about whether we are supposed to think the poo emoji article was racist and whether navy blue is a different color than just plain blue.

On to the next episode.

[theflyingfeeling]

I literally explained the most unhinged fic to you, you don't get to do this. We like ridiculous and thrive in unhinged. Please do share this royal/ballet dancer au idea

as if I could actually shut up about my fic ideas on main 🤧 ping @mosvu and also @goth-automaton @sparfloxacin @cosmicfire 🖤

(still hiding it behind a readmore though lol)

Starting off with a disclaimer: I don't think there's anything revolutionary about this fic idea, it sounds very familiar to me and I swear I've read/seen something similar but I can't pinpoint it... In any case, it's not my intetion to copy anyone!

Then I'm just quickly gonna give you some pictures for aesthetic reasons / to illustrate what I'm imagining them to look like in this AU (clean-shaven and twinky for Olli, comfy-casual and twinky for Aleksi 🥰)

(pretend they're drinking tea lol)

And as I said, this is absolutely ridiculous lol, but I've been watching a lot of The Crown recently and this is not inspired by that per se, apart from the fact that Aleksi is some sort of royalty, a prince maybe but spare instead of direct heir to the throne, because I cannot imagine even a modern-day monarchy that wouldn't be sort of home-of-phobic lol. Anyway, Prince Alex is super lonely because he doesn't really go out much because he's an introvert and doesn't know how to handle all the attention, so he rather stays at home most of the time, trying to avoid any sort of public appearances if he only can help it.

The only place he goes to willingly and often is the Royal Ballet. There could be some sorta backstory to this actually 🤔 Maybe he had an aunt/uncle who he really liked as a child and would always take him to the ballet (this aunt/uncle was obviously queer and only years after their passing when Aleksi's already a grown-up he realises this).

One day Aleksi notices a new soloist, and even from the royal booth he can tell this new dancer is the most beautiful person Aleksi has ever seen 😭 He goes to watch the same ballet again literally the next day because he can't get the beautiful male dancer out of his mind and becomes so enamored with the man that he sends him flowers the next time he goes to see the show 💐

Meanwhile Olli is dumbfounded by his new admirer and can't really believe his luck after being handed the comically huge bouquet of flowers backstage after the show 😳 His fellow dancers all tease him and maybe also make fun of poor Prince Alex, who's always presented in the tabloids as this socially clumsy simpleton or something along those lines. Eventually Olli laughs along and decides it must be some sort of practical joke from his friends or whatever, because WHY would Prince Alex be sending flowers to him, of all the dancers in the Royal Ballet?

A couple of shows (and pompous flower deliveries) later, Olli is fetched by a fellow dancer again, telling him some important looking men are asking for him, and so he's taken to some kinda secluded room where Prince Alex is waiting to speak to him 😨 It's awkward more than anything else, and they're both uncomfortable because Olli doesn't know how to act around a member of the fucking royal family and poor Aleksi is desperately trying to appear casual and "normal" but he just doesn't know how 😭 He does manage to invite Olli "for tea" in the palace though, and obviously Olli agrees even though he's not entirely sure what he's agreeing to, because he can't say no to an invitation from the bloody prince now can he?! Prince Alex then leaves and Olli is freaking out and his colleagues keep asking what the prince wants with him and he doesn't know and later in the evening he rants the ears off his roommate Joonas about it 😩

At this point I need to give you some background info about Olli: he's bi and has a sort-of-girlfriend (another ballet dancer); I say 'sort of' because they're mostly just having sex instead of actually dating. Olli also occasionally hooks up with Joonas when they're both horny enough. This is relevant later on 😏

The day of Olli's "tea party" with Prince Alex comes and he's picked up from his apartment by a black car and driven straight to the palace where he's taken to the prince's personal chambers (this is already starting to sound kinky lol). They do drink tea but nothing much else happens because Aleksi is just too goddamn nervous in front of this beautiful human being to think of much to say (relatable af eh? 😭), and Olli feels sorry for him but he can't really come up with anything to talk about either because he's still not quite sure what's going on and why he's even there in the first place and what could a commoner like him even say to an actualy real-life prince? 😬

I mean, I haven't quite figured out myself what Aleksi's intentions here are lol, only that it's not as creepy as it may sound. I guess he just wanted to get to know this beautiful ballet dancer better and couldn't think of any other way to do it other than having him driven to the palace 🙈 I need you to imagine him tossing and turning in his bed unable to sleep because he just can't stop thinking about this ballet dancer, and maybe his brother the crown prince fished enough information out of him to learn his little bro is lusting after some ballet dancer and, thinking it's a female dancer, tells him to just "have them come over for 'some tea' lol, you know grandpa used to do that all the time with dancers from the Royal Ballet" (🙃), and jokes on the crown prince, Aleksi does exactly that, because it's not like he'd ever be able to hang out with this person in public 😶 And just to clarify, he did NOT invite Olli over for the same reason his grandfather may have been inviting those dancers (🙃🙃🙃), he just wanted a friend to talk to other than his brother and maybe the occasional entitled af cousin 😭

After the first meeting Olli tells all about it to Joonas who cackles all through the story as he imagines Olli and the prince just sitting in silence and sipping tea and Olli even spilling some on a very expensive-looking royal rug. Olli doesn't think it's quite as funny at first until they're both laughing about it, because he might as well, since the prince won't definitely be inviting him over for tea again, right?

Wrong! Some days later he receives a similar invitation which he simply doesn't know how to turn down (this time the invitation is delivered just from a royal security dude at the door of the backstage room at the ballet, before the show so that Olli almost trips on his own feet stressing about it on stage). The next day he's fetched from his apartment again, and this time the prince seems a tiny bit more relaxed and asks Olli all sorts of questions about his dancer career to have him relax too. It then occurs to Olli that the prince must just be incredibly lonely and in need of a conversation partner, although he still can't figure out why he was the one chosen for the purpose.

Time passes and Olli starts visiting the prince more regularly, so that he can no longer hide it from his sort-of-girlfriend, who is just as curious as Olli is to find out why the prince has taken such a liking to Olli. Olli wishes he knew, especially because the more he spends time with the prince, the more he begins to like him; his sense of humour and his kind, calm nature and, of course, his looks, both with and without glasses. He curses his horny bisexual ass for beginning to fantasize about the prince, because what chance would he ever have with someone so above him in the class hierarchy? And even if he would, he's a prince for fuck's sake, so it would be doomed before it would even begin.

He talks about prince Alex to his roommate Joonas aaaaaaall the time, enough for Joonas to get the gist eventually, although he says nothing of it, because he reckons he should let Olli have that realisation by himself 🤭

I don't think I'm ever actually going to write this (the perfectionist in me would not want to half-ass any ballet nor royalty-related details), but if I did, it would be so incredibly slow burn that Olli and Prince Alex wouldn't even kiss until chapter 12 or something lol. But when they do, it quickly escalates from there, because they're just so into each other and it just feels so nice 😭 so that eventually they start making out the second Olli enters Aleksi's chambers lol, and maybe there's also some dry humping on a very old and expensive satin sofa 🥰

And I hope you hadn't forgotten about the 'anal fingering' tag I talked about lol, because oh my oh my 😌 So Olli is still seeing that girl from his ballet company, mostly just to hook up because he doesn't really know how to say no to people (and the sex is still pretty good tbf). One day while blowing/wanking him, the girl sneaks a finger up his bum. Olli sort of freaks out, mostly because he's caught off guard but also because it felt surprisingly good, even though he asked the girl to stop (he's a top and has never been penetrated before; btw this is low-key inspired by a scene in the latest season of Sex Education lol). He becomes curious though and later asks Joonas about how it feels. Joonas, the good fuck-buddy he is, offers to finger Olli, and......... yeah. Imagine Olli arching his back in pleasure as Joonas fingers him 🥵

So the next time he visits the prince and they get all hot and bothered, he instructs Aleksi to finger him and 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 (now imagine Aleksi sitting on that royal sofa and Olli straddling him, sort of 'riding' his fingers until he cums 😳🫠

Aaaaaaaand that's about how far I've gotten with this as of yet, I sort of got stuck with the visual image of Olli being fingered 🙈 obviously this has a happy ending, although not without drama, but I'm yet to figure out the rest of this. I'll keep you updated? 😇 One scene that I have imagined that would take place way after Olli and Prince Alex are deep in their secret relationship is one of Olli helping Aleksi put on some black eyeliner and other cool make-up to make him unrecognizable (at least at first glance) and oh-so-hot so that they can hit the club together and make out on the dance floor without no one batting an eye 🥰 (obviously this would eventually end up on the tabloids when someone recognizes him but sshhhhh let's not talk about that 😭)

The others will be there too, of course, even though I haven't really given that much thought. I was thinking Tommi could be Joonas new-found fuck buddy since Olli is now too busy fucking the prince. I was also first thinking Joonas could be a ballet dancer as well, but I think I'd prefer him to be doing something else (or maybe he used to be a dancer and that's how he and Olli met but he had to retire because of an injury or smth). Joel could also be their more grumpy roommate, a catwalk model maybe. Niko? No clue. Any ideas? 👀

[eviesaurusrex]

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Faceclaim: Dakota Johnson

author’s note: I don’t know what you’re talking about. That’s not pt. 4, nope. It’s obviously a Fata Morgana, yep. This one will deal with my love for soon-to-be dad!harry and is long, super long. I am sorry. (no I’m not)

1 2 3

pt. 5 is here

;

yourinstagram Reaching 20 weeks today, and I forced Harry to get me the hell to IKEA. He wants to furnish the nursery completely with Gucci stuff, and I’m not having any of that (sorry, H, for being so grumpy to you) because I would never dare to touch anything in there. Fun fact: IKEA has been my one true love ever since college, and don’t let the tabloids tell you otherwise. I was the average poor student who worked in the library and at a Starbucks because NYC rents were already on steroids back then.

PS: LOOK AT THE CUTE DINOSAUR I’VE FOUND!! I named him Littlefoot. My upbringing is showing now, doesn’t it?

PPS: My feet are killing me. My back is killing me. I think Harry wants to strangle me as well because I won’t shut up about the tragedy involving an ice cream following gravity because I was too stupid to hold it. And I’m having a baby. Good luck, little bean 💀

Liked by imsebastianstan, gemmachan, harrystyles, annetwist, tomholland2013 and 1,583,201 others | 72,162 comments

imsebastianstan Write “I hate Watermelon Sugar” and I’m on my way 👀

↳ yourinstagram And you’re calling yourself my bestie. How disappointing.

↳ imsebastianstan It changed again?! It’s the seventh time this week! And it’s only Tuesday!

↳ yourinstagram I am pregnant, thank you very much. I have mood swings!!!

↳ imsebastianstan And taste swings, apparently.

↳ yourinstagram I hate you. I’m calling for Harry now and disturbing his workflow because you’re so cruel to me that I need reassuring cuddles. Well done, Stan. (I still love you)

↳ yourfan1 I want their friendship in my life 🥺

↳ sebastianstanstan Their friendship is a life goal.

harrystyles No Gucci as furniture, but I can’t offer you a No Gucci-policy in their closet, darling x

liked by gucci, alessandro_michele and 530 others

↳ yourinstagram I can live with that. You got yourself a deal 🤝🏼

↳ gucci We would be honored to dress Baby YLN-Styles!

↳ alessandro_michele I may already work on some pieces for the little one ❤️

↳ harrystyles ❤️ x H.

whoisharry Am I allowed back on the couch? You mentioned a craving for watermelon and cuddles - I can provide both, my fair maiden

↳ lolthisnotme Permission granted, fine sir ❤️

liked by whoisharry

lizolsen There never was a woman who rocked the baby bump better than you do ❤️

↳ yourinstagram Stop it, Liz 😭❤️

tomholland2013 I can’t believe that we saw each other only… what, three months ago? Mini-YN is growing so fast 🥹

↳ yourinstagram Tooooom, you are just the sweetest of them all 🥺❤️

↳ tomholland2013 Ha! Take that, Mackie and Stan!

liked by anthonymackie, chrisevans, yourinstagram and 132 others

↳ marvelbunch Tom’s dream came true 😂

hsfan1 Gucci is making furniture???? 😦

↳ hsfan2 For Harry? They would manufacture a damn car if he wanted one. So, furniture is easy.

↳ hsfan1 Tbh, that’s true.

eonline YN LN and Harry Styles were spotted today at Heathrow Airport!

Check out the link in our bio to see more pictures of the Hollywood couple!

Liked by internetidiot1, internetidiot2 and 2,784 others | 4,623 comments

internetidiot1 She looked so ugly 💀

Internetidiot2 Not sure if she’s even pregnant. It’s probably only show lol

hsfan1 Did you ever hear something about privacy and boundaries???

↳ yourfan1 Nope. They love to pester these two 🙄

yourfan2 So much about “We’re not forcing ourselves on poor celebrities, we are respectful.” I call bullshit! I saw them on my way from baggage claim, and YN always looked to Harry and clung to his arm while you idiots screamed for another photo. She was so scared and held her jacket protectively in front of her bump because she seemed to think you idiots would hurt her baby 😤🤬

↳ hsfan2 That’s so awful 😡 My poor babies 🥺

↳ ynandharry A friend of mine works at Heathrow, and she told me that YN cried when they arrived at the waiting car, and Harry shielded her with his body all the damn time. Ever since hearing that, I’ve been fuming 🤬

↳ yourfan2 🥺😭

↳ hsfan2 I fucking hate them with my very being 🤬

hsfan3 I really hope Harry files a restraining order against the rubbish you paparazzi are.

↳ hsfan4 I’m pretty convinced that Jeff already has some of them in his death note.

↳ hsfan3 Hopefully e!garbage is in it.

annetwist So glad to have everyone back at home ❤️

[📸 yourinstagram]

Liked by hsfan1, yourfan1, gemmastyles, yourinstagram, harrystyles and 2,870 others | 1,742 comments

gemmastyles How is it possible to look this good with jetlag? That should be illegal. I had a good night’s sleep and look like shit?!

↳ yourinstagram 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼 Meanwhile, I’m the biggest mess of them all (but you are stunning, just so you know)

↳ annetwist You two are beautiful as always, loves ❤️

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and gemmastyles

hsfan1 They all look so happy to be back together!!!

ynandharry They’re currently in the same time zone as I am. WE SHARE A TIME ZONE

yourfan1 Hopefully they could forget about the airport situation 🥺

yourfan2 YN is taking the pictures, so she doesn’t have to be in them. YN is me. YN is mood.

↳ yourfan3 lol same bestie

↳ hsfan2 Oh, more of us?? Yes!

mitchrowland That’s where you people vanished

↳ whoisharry You’ll get an invitation 👌🏻

yourinstagram In case anyone wondered where we are: We’re back in England for some much-needed downtime before the work stress settles in again. Pregnancy is currently taking its toll on me, my body, and my mental health. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy every minute of it, but sometimes it’s just hard to get out of bed or my head (not to mention the pain and swelling ankles). But Harry is the sweetest, most loving, and most patient dad-to-be and partner in crime there possibly could exist. I always was grateful for him in my life, more than I could ever put into words, but now it’s something entirely different. Thank you, H. I love you. So much. ❤️ And thanks to you people for your unimaginable support and love!

Fun fact: The little bean is most content when their dad sings or when we listen to their dad’s albums; what a damn surprise (not) ❤️

Liked by harrystyles, pillowpersonpp, imsebastianstan, gemmastyles and 3,002,315 others | 169,030 comments

gemmastyles I love his songs, but I’m close to hating them because it’s the only thing I’m hearing as soon as I visit you.

↳ yourinstagram Nah, you don’t 😙

liked by harrystyles

↳ gemmastyles … I hate how well you know me.

↳ yourinstagram Again, lies 😙

↳ hsfan1 It’s so sweet and almost heartbreaking (in a positive way) how good these two get along 🥹

pillowpersonpp Oh, lovely 🥺 If you think I can help, just reach out, yeah? Maybe some ranting would already help?

↳ yourinstagram Thanks S 🥺❤️

liked by pillowpersonpp and mitchrowland

imsebastianstan Do you need a peanut butter supply?

↳ yourinstagram YES! That’s why you’re my bestie 😭❤️

liked by imsebastianstan and 23 others

↳ imsebastianstan I’ll text Harry for the details ❤️

liked by harrystyles, yourinstagram and 243 others

↳ sebastianstanstan Seb has Harry’s number 😦🤯

hsfan1 Can we talk about all the content she is gifting us? Like constantly?

↳ yourfan1 Can we talk about how good they are for each other?

↳ ynandharry can we talk about the fact that ever since dating YN, Harry posts things relating to his life instead of sticking to posts about his work?

↳ yourfan2 Or the fact that YN shares things about her life and her boyfriend on social media?

↳ hsfan1 She never did that before??? Like Harry???

↳ yourfan2 Yep!

harrystyles She said Yes.

[tagged yourinstagram]

Liked by annetwist, mitchrowland, jefezoff, gemmastyles, yourinstagram, imsebastianstan and 17,001,304 others

hsfan1 🤯🤯🤯

hsfan2 what WAIT AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

ynandharry CRYING SCREAMING

annetwist The day I met her, I knew she would be my future daughter-in-law ❤️

liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles, yourinstagram and 1,368 others

↳ gemmastyles And my future sister-in-law 😭❤️

gemmastyles !!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️

mitchrowland You are on a streak. Congratulations, my dear friend. I can’t wait to call her Mrs. Styles (officially 👀)

↳ hsfan3 Even the band knew that they would be endgame material ❤️

pillowpersonpp I think that’s the happiest day of my life, and I birthed the sweetest boy in the world, so that’s saying something 🥲❤️

jefezoff Congratulations man ❤️😍

taylorswift Even though he was off the market for a long time already: Attention, Harry Styles is off the market!

↳ yourinstagram ☺️👉🏻👈🏻

niallhoran Congratulations, Harold! ❤️

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 471 others

↳ yourinstagram One Direction reunion at our wedding when?

↳ niallhoran That’s a recurring thing from now on?

↳ yourinstagram Yes (even though I’d like to grab some tea with you some day)

liked by niallhoran

↳ 1d4ever your honor, I love her.

yourinstagram I love you with all my heart. Good thing I saved that ig handle a long time ago 👀

liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 1,039 others

↳ yourfan1 that’s our queen!

↳ yourfan2 LOVE HER 😂

↳ gemmastyles Smooth 👀

yourinstagram Meet the future Mrs. Styles. Oh, wait. That’s me! 😭❤️

feat. Baby Styles because Harry wanted me to post this picture instead of that cute one his mom took in the garden. But hey, whatever my future husband demands ❤️

[tagged harrystyles]

Liked by imsebastianstan, chrisevans, harrystyles, gemmachan, paulrudd and 12,095,881 others | 227,105 comments

imsebastianstan After everything you went through, you deserve this kind of happiness more than anyone ❤️

↳ sebastianstanstan Get yourself a supportive bestie like Sebastian.

↳ yourinstagram I’m gonna play matchmaker so hard, mister.

liked by marvelbunch, chrisevans and anthonymackie

harrystylesforever We need to talk about how he is holding her bump.

↳ harrystylesfanpage It’s so protective 🥹 I only can imagine how much love he must feel ❤️

chrisevans Congratulations, bee ❤️❤️❤️

paulrudd And there she goes, out in the world. I feel like a proud dad 🥹

↳ robertdowneyjr And what I’m supposed to say?! I’m practically her big, protective brother!

↳ yourinstagram The best on-screen brother in existence. Well… formally in existence. It’s okay, people, I made myself cry with this one.

↳ yourfan1 STOP RIPPING MY HEART IN TWO 😭 I miss the Stark Duo 😭 #bringbackthestarkduo Congratulations, queen 🥹

gemmachan After wiping so many tears off your beautiful face, I’m so blessed to see how everything developed in the past years and how you became your happiest self ❤️

ynandharry IT IS HAPPENING!!!

simuliu Congratulations, YN ❤️

lizolsen People are looking weird because I’m standing in a line at target and crying over my phone ❤️

harrystyles My entire world in one picture x H.

liked by annetwist, yourinstagram, jefezoff and 3,720 others

↳ hsfan1 Imagine a world where Harry is your soon-to-be husband and baby daddy. YN is living the life.

↳ hsfan2 Not crying, nope.

↳ yourinstagram Harryyyyyyy 😭❤️

lolthisnotme We need to talk about the stunning, gorgeous, and otherworldly ring Harry casually pulled out of his jacket pocket (well, more the black box where this masterpiece was hidden). I may or may not already have cried before he even had the chance to open the lid, and I think I suffered a heart attack after he did exactly that. Am I still alive anyway??? Is this the afterlife? Heaven? I don’t know, and I don’t care BECAUSE I AM THE HAPPIEST WOMAN ON THE ENTIRE PLANET DEAL WITH MY HAPPINESS PEW PEW PEW!

Liked by mitchrowland, imsebastianstan, gemmachan, whoisharry, gemmastyles and 10 others | 11 comments

gemmastyles Can I tell her?

liked by lolthisnotme and annetwist

↳ lolthisnotme What????????? 🧐🧐🧐

↳ gemmastyles Pssssh 🤫

↳ lolthisnotme Harry is getting some groceries - without me. Could take a while. You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone 👀

↳ whoisharry I still have my phone with me, darling. And yes, you can tell her, Gem 👌🏼

↳ gemmastyles HE DESIGNED IT

↳ lolthisnotme hajslskdklaodjsjsmdhdiwl

liked by gemmastyles and whoisharry

↳ gemmastyles Told you she would love it *proud sister*

↳ lolthisnotme H 🥺🥹 Expect more kisses than anyone has ever received (if you get chocolate, marshmallow cream, cheese, and cucumbers)

liked by whoisharry and gemmastyles

↳ gemmastyles Pregnancy cravings are having a wild week, I see.

liked by lolthisnotme

gemmachan You are very much alive 😋 It is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. Your fiancé has excellent taste and imagination ❤️

↳ lolthisnotme Right? Right?!

mitchrowland Every single gift for Christmas and birthday has to compete with this one now. You did good, Haz. I don’t want to be you 😂

↳ lolthisnotme He is gifting me his presence and love; that’s all I ever wanted for Christmas and birthday (and an annual supply of bath bombs; I’m a simple girl) 👀

↳ whoisharry And worn clothing items to snuggle up to when I’m gone

↳ lolthisnotme Exactly.

↳ pillowpersonpp You two are so sweet ❤️; I wanna throw up (even though I know how nasty and dirty you two can get) And I already saw the ring twice but in different stages, and you outdid yourself, Harry ❤️

liked by whoisharry and lolthisnotme

imsebastianstan Good lord, this man would get you the moon if you’d ask him.

↳ whoisharry I would.

↳ lolthisnotme He would 👉🏻👈🏻❤️

↳ lolthisnotme You would do the same for the right woman. I just need to find her for you.

↳ gemmachan She has excellent reviews as a matchmaker 👀

↳ lolthisnotme Thank you, dear satisfied customer 💁🏽‍♀️

liked by gemmachan, whoisharry and imsebastianstan

jefezoff He was so excited but also worried since starting to work on it.

↳ lolthisnotme Timeframe specification, please.

↳ jefezoff Oooff. When did he start mitchrowland? About two years and a half?

↳ mitchrowland Something around that, yeah

↳ lolthisnotme I’m gonna pass out on this very couch.

↳ whoisharry Perfection needs time

↳ lolthisnotme So, you’re telling me that you started to design my engagement ring even before we moved in together??!!!

↳ whoisharry Will you have a heart attack if I tell you that the idea started to form in my head after our third date? I’m still standing in line and easily need 10 minutes to get home.

↳ gemmastyles My brother, the romantic, ladies and gentlefolk.

;

Comments, reblogs, and likes are much appreciated! Thank you so much for reading and for the support I got from you so far! Lysm!

[somuchyoudontknow]

Feel free to disagree, but there has to be a reason why, as your one anon put it, they continue to poke the bear when they could just not.

think about other celeb couples that were controversial or hated by fans; Harry and Olivia, Sebastian and his gf, Henry and his gf, ana and Ben affleck (not sure if hated but annoyed a lot of ppl lol during Covid).

What did all of these couples have in common? They all continued to push through even tho fans reacted so negatively (usually the fan base on the male counterpart side). Sebastian got vilified by his own fan base and it was quite similar to the CE stuff. His own fans became his worst haters and he was canceled at least a dozen times. He ended up leaving SM likely due to it and there was a ton of times you could tell he was having a meltdown due whatever what was happening. The main difference between him and CE was that Sebastian made it more obvious he was seeing all the hate (he literally captioned an IG post, thanks for the love, thanks for the hate) and then made comments on interviews that ppl were stalking him (not untrue). But he continued to show up with ale despite getting attacked everytime.

Henry put fans in their place and keeps showing up with Natalie. I think his situation is a bit different but maybe also the same.

Harry and Olivia kept showing up with each other but during don’t worry darling press it looked like they barely ever interacted (did anyone think that was odd they did a whole press tour and I don’t think they interacted once? But she kept showing up in pap pics with him later).

Ana and Ben got made fun of relentlessly due to their Covid pap walks. But they didn’t stop. The comments were relentless on every tabloid and ana clearly was scarred by it all, but she still had to push through and keep showing up with Ben.

This is my theory:

CE continues to be associated with AB despite the backlash because he, like all his predecessors, have to be.

He just doesn’t want to have to be seen with her unless he has to be.

His reserved list of friends continue to allude to spending time with her and her crew. AB also doesn’t appear to want to address CE publicly, but continues to let herself be associated with him and hide unless it’s to let people speculate she’s with him.

This is their way of pushing the narrative instead of doing pap walks.

They did do one and you could tell, I think, that AB has never done anything like this before. She looked completely out of her element and CE did not look like he wanted to be there at all. He’s hiding his face behind a mask outside. They got made fun of by fans and tabloids alike. To my knowledge, they haven’t really done one since.

I think they can’t make it believable but they need to, just like all those other couples. So this is their only route. They have to continue pushing the envelope, despite backlash and despite fans getting so upset and more and more rabid.

It’s the same formula, but you’re not seeing them “together” because either one or both sides refuses to flaunt it, so it’s causing some team real to make assumptions they’re just private.

No, real privacy - you wouldn’t know a thing. CE doesn’t live in LA. He could keep his dating life on the DL which he apparently had all these years after breaking up with Jenny S. Its only when he dates an actress or HW person that these things don’t remain on the DL.

I’ve always thought that if AB was a real thing, those ten months leading up to their public reveal would have given him/them reason to not go public. He and his family were harassed so much that they all retreated to hiding away. The comments about AB, just rumors, were abhorrent. I think they could have kept it secret and just kept on keeping it secret.

But they didn’t. Which tells me, they had to make it public and they have to use it for publicity. He had to let her show up to his movie premiere because it was big press for him, first movie of the year. If they wanted to keep it private, she could have not attended. But she showed up and pretended he didn’t exist and vice versa. By contrast, Ana was happy to be papped with her bf on the same day of the premiere, but we don’t get that with AB. Just her showing up looking like she played dress up in her mom’s closet.

This may now be a very unpopular opinion, but I think everything that’s happened this past week gives more reason for PR than not.

You can disagree, but this is what I’m seeing. They have to continue this and this is CE’s workaround. I don’t think he’s an idiot. I think he is much smarter than people give him credit for. Also, I’m thinking him having to show up with her in CP and post those IG videos probably had him cringing for weeks after. All the comments coming from haters probably has him sick to his stomach and it’s probability why he looked so solemn and nervous the first day of that comic con. I also think for the fans or I guess haters? That are sticking around, you’re going to be here for a while. He’s stuck in this and I think it’s going to continue, like you, mod, have said - until it’s run it’s course.

I agree 💯 I don't have to add anything :)

[alarrytale]

For me It´s the fact that that tabloid/paparazzi company released that video/photos, the way they look so awkward trying to look like they are having fun and the look into the camera from both of them? Lol, thank you, nothing makes my friday better than this confirmation that yes, their romance is indeed a pure stunt. One account posted another 3 photos of his previous stunts from same situation and lol it´s really copy paste.

I can´t believe I´m writing this but I kinda want Harry to be hairless for a while to see harries who are there only for his look unstan him lol. Yes, it´s also unattractive for me but guess I´m old enought/love him for more than his looks that it doesn´t do anything really and if he will choose to have this image (like I know it´s not gonna happen but still), I´m gonna love him anyway

They do look so awkward. I can't watch it without having second hand embarrasment. I'm having second hand embarrasment over so much he's doing currently i don't know if i'll ever recover from it. It is comforting that it's copy paste from other stunts, but it's still a stunt and so unneccessary. The fact that it's stunting at an azoff venue is just the icing on the cake.

I said that to someone in messages that yes his hair is bad, but at least we'll lose some hets. I can be a fan of a hairless man, but i don't know if i can be a fan of a zi*nist or a zioni*t sympathiser. I need to let all this settle. It's just bad on all fronts right now and i think it's at a boiling point for many.

[georgiapeach30513]

Ramen anon here: LOVE that you’re still using the analogies! I also love periodically coming back to your blog to see your fun and lively posts as well. You and your anons do make me laugh.

I just have some questions. For anyone really:

If cup of noodles was invited to the GQ event then why not bring his own bf (who styled them) or even his other BFF Ribeye? Since you know, they’re both local and live nearby and were also there helping them get ready for the show.

Instead, soba came all the way back from her new country America to be his plus one. Love that she ignored the film festival with a movie she was in (this would have made sense to show up for since you are an “actor”) but shows up for this.

Or maybe she was the one invited because she’s so important now! And she invites cup as her plus one even though the only reason she’s even relevant to anything is because she married ramen - who, BTW, oddly enough wasn’t there or didn’t seem to have been invited. (He was the who actually got a GQ spread and cover? Weird) also…he is her husband according to 527474 tabloids and Wikipedia? And the same tabloids post about her being married to him but use photos where she’s with cup instead? (LOL)

And what happened to her being with him 24/7 in their super secret house that designers on IG have to hide and lie about the location? So on the weekend where there’s a big American family holiday she’s in a different country. Or like. He was in her country like two weeks before but couldn’t stay to be her date to the event that’s so important she had to miss his favorite holiday for. Or maybe. She stayed for this event and he went home to celebrate the holiday with his family. Which means she prioritized cup over ramen and her new in laws, which is interesting no matter how you look at it.

Lastly - remember some people were saying he was there in her country buying a place for them or staying at a place they rented for them? So why is she always getting ready at cup a noodles house then? Does she even have her own place to go to? (Don’t answer that - I don’t want to see any photoshops of her into Zillow images)

No matter how you look at this, not all or most of it makes any real logical sense. You can explain it as away as private but I think there’s private and then there’s…phony.

Im kidding. Well, maybe not completely.

Love ya, mod!

Just because I love you, Mrs. Pasta, I’m going to post this last one, because you do pose some interesting questions. I’m still of the mind that it was cup of noodles event, and it didn’t look like he enjoyed sharing the spot light with soba at one point. But maybe he had an upset tummy from too much sodium. And with that article and saying she didn’t have anything to promote, but cup of noodles had a video showing during the event, that tells me what I need to know.

Was she at cup of noodles house? There seemed like there was an awful lot of girls clothes in the background. But of course, that was stories, so they’re gone now. Ehh, this high sodium noodles are boring though. The best part of that pairing was that super shiny watch. Did you see how much it glistened?

I will say it was weird, but I guess there’s plenty of reasons as to why it was weird. I’ll just say…it was weird, and not as shiny as that watch.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Ok can I just say I agree with your Henry c*vill post and the fact that I see a post of someone saying the same thing like once a week means it's truly a problem and people need to get a different guy to fan cast

Haha thank you! And it really is an issue, especially because like... I don't know. I get it, he's a good looking guy, but to me he's so CONVENTIONAL. (And might I add! There have been times where Henry has been a bit bulkier, and it's not always just muscle--which is actually when I find him most appealing--and insane as it sounds, he has been body shamed online for it? You don't see pics of that era of Henry used to fancast as much, even when the hero is described as THEE BIGGEST DUDE EVER.) There's something about it I just don't like about it.

And because it's so homogenous, it honestly makes me worried about peoples' tastes. Like, aaaaaallll of you only see it for this one (white) guy? Really? That's the oNLY. ONE.

Personally, I don't fancast a lot for romance novels, because there aren't a lot of actors that would necessarily fit the image I have in my mind for like... 99% of the characters. There are certain actors who I might say have the "vibe" of a character (I'll die on the "Jude Law in 2004-2008 has Sebastian St. Vincent energy" hill, and that is of course because, like Sebastian St. Vincent, Jude Law fucks people he probably shouldn't be fucking and has a scandalous illegitimate child. Or like. Several in his case. If St. Vincent was alive today and not with Evie, he would also have an incident in which his nanny told all about their tryst to a tabloid.) But most of them aren't the right age anymore, because so many actors in recent years have been, shall I say, vibeless. Without vibes. Deficient in the personality department.

I also don't really feel confined to white people when fancasting my historical romances. I mean, really, you could play with gender too. These projects aren't being made, it's just for fun. I remember an episode of Heaving Bosoms where they mentioned people sending in Charlize Theron as St. Vincent. I don't see that (though I see it more for her than Sam Claflin or Henry Cavill, I'll tell you what) but honestly? I appreciate thinking outside the box.

Like, Henry ain't even in the same age range as so many romance heroes anymore, my man is pushing 40 and a lot of people don't read heroes older than 35. If you wanna cast him as like. A single father of a young teen doing his best. Then I guess. But don't cast him as a 20-something lordling unless you wanna go back to his early Tudors days lol.

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

Those answers were pretty good, I read an earlier post of yours saying they like the fantastic four and guardians of the galaxy (forgets whose was which) and now I got more :)

1: when finishing up a crew of bad guys how do they celebrate, high-fives, fist-bumps, fornite dances, maybe a secret handshake between the both of them?

2: what are their fears/insecurities?

3: what’s their favorite foods to eat?

4: besides for fighting crime do they use their powers for fun? I can totally see Chris using his dark powers to pull a bully’s pants down and giving him a SUPER wedgie.

5: do they use “yelling your attacks” like they do in anime? For example: Jake might say: “StarBolt Blast” when fighting a villain.

6: what other hobbies does the boys have?

7: does Chris do any sports?

(Looking through my posts and finding this one. Well, forgot that was there….Whoops, my bad lol. So that makes it four heroes outside of the DCU the Duo like: Invincible, Nova (for Chris), Mr Fantastic (for Jake) and Spidey)

But anyways, onto your questions my friend ;-)

1. Mainly a fist bump and a pair of straight and backward hi fives to each other.

2. Jake’s greatest insecurity, much similar to his father, is a fear of failure and inadequacy. He dreads a notion of being imperfect which can not only make his attempt of living up to the family legacy a disgrace he’ll never recover but more importantly, can cost someone their lives, whether it be innocent civilians or especially those within his social circles. He strides to make sure he continues what his Uncle Tim instills as a crime fighter, whether wearing the traditional colors or not or if even one’s ally isn’t a traditional Batman, similar to how a firefighter or a detective needs partner, Batman, or any superhero, needs a Robin, a partner, no matter what they think. Jake fears of not living up to it which as consequence would be losing all that he cares for, from his parents to his adoptive uncles and aunts, his beloved Big Sis all the way up to his best friend.

Speaking of best friend, Chris’ insecurities and fears are far more reaching and comped than Jake’s. The kid suffers from great internal anxiety and even spells of self hatred and doubt; any sort of mishap or mistake he makes both intentionally or especially even without better knowledge would guarantee disownment, punishment and abandonment from the family he’s calling his own, worst of all Chris having no other choice but to return to his ultra strict and ever so harsh birth father General Zod. He fears one or two ways of his powers or his own personality going so wrong and ruining so many lives he’s a part of that through his own action, he no longer has anywhere to call home, no one to call friends and loved ones, and it’ll be his fault, he’ll deserve such a fate.

This wasn’t helped at all by the time Zod and his armies did attempt a massive invasion of the Earth to conquer it, with Chris’ very presence in it as being the unintended key to unlocking the Phantom Zone, allowing Zod to escape in the first place. Even though the General and his armies were ultimately defeated and banished back, the cries of those suffering underneath crushed rubble, the doubts of those who witnessed all of the truth being revealed for who Chris really was, and all the tabloid reporters immediately coming up to Chris in the most accusatory manner possible of his unintentional involvement of those actions; all of that was too much for Chris to take, causing him to run away, flying all across the world and not revealing himself for days until he finally came to the Graysons’ apartment on a stormy night and even then stayed for a few more days until finally he allowed himself to see the Kents after all of it.

And yes during that stay at their place, Mari and Jake were right by Chris’ side to make him feel comfortable until he felt ready to see his parents and brothers again. Besides all of those things, Jake is spooked out by being up close to spiders while Chris can sweat very nervously when inside large crowds for an extended period of time

3. Jake unabashedly declares both his Father’s custom Mac and Cheese with Breadcrumbs recipe and his Mother’s Zorkaberry Tarts amongst his all time favorite foods without skipping any heartbeat. In turn, Chris for the life of him cannot skip either Beef Bourguignon or Cheese Pizza with Basil, Red Crushed Pepper and Oregano if he can help it. It’s not plausible for him.

4. While Chris has certainly have strong temptation for doing that to a bully or two at his school, it’s only done in the most rare of occasions when he knows for certain his parents would not get a notice from him his school or find out (even then, Clark finds out about it inevitably). Otherwise, Chris might utilize his shadow powers and or if he’s directly passing by, a tiny whiff of his super breath in helping get a cat down from a tree without anyone noticing.

As for Jake, he has one occasion or two used a tiny starbolt from his fingertip underneath a cafeteria table to blast some mash potato onto a seventh grade Bully’s shirt without anyone noticing if said bully says one or two things too far against either Jake himself or most likely whoever his target that day happens being. This’ll likely be more subtle than his sister who’s had a small history of directly going face to face with bullies with fury in her eyes.

5. Not likely unless it’s for very special occasions and when they do combined moves, for example during a big huge battle in Bludhaven against a legion of HIVE academy villains. In that one instance, Chris carried Jake with the latter’s legs on the formers shoulders, charging directly into the villains, doing a “Star Tower Turret”, the two blasting their heat vision and starbolts front, back, across all sides both on high and low levels all around them.

6. For Chris, he takes a liking to some drawing of custom superhero outfits, a little writing stories based on his favorite shows, reading his comics, and beating ever increasingly difficult levels on his video games

While Jake meanwhile favors watching archived videos of the adventures his parents have done throughout their respective careers, all scrolling online for reality show clips, mainly the ones about restaurants and bars that might have irresponsible chefs, nasty food, mishandled kitchens or most likely all of the above, practicing his acrobatics, and tending to his zorkaberry plants on his window porch. Similar to Chris, he can take time off also in playing video games and reading his own comics

7. Mainly two major ones, swimming and like Jake, basketball. Though he can also play both Football (both American and Soccer) and Baseball, mainly for the latter playing catch with Jon.

If there are any further suggestions or additions to these you’d like to add, please Reblog or reply my friend. It’ll be very helpful ;-)

@gothicghost2000

[awesomefringey]

Do you think sometimes people take the ‘jealous!harry’ ‘jealouslouis!’ A bit too literally? Like I’m sure in the grand scheme of things a 17 year old boy knows Liam play fighting with a Louis or joking around/putting his arm around him isn’t the end of the world, especially when it was still early enough Harry and Louis could still publicly interact. He’s not actually plotting to shoot Liam with his laser beam eyes lol. I think I just mean more like people will see Harry glance at Louis talking to Liam and look away and it’s like ‘omggg he’s so jealous’ incorporated into a slow mo ‘evidence’ video so sometimes it makes us come across like 13 year old naive fangirls. Maybe I’m just being a cyanic I know some people do just like to play it up for fun but I do wonder if some people really think anything like that =jealousy at it’s finest

But then again this is 2 lovestruck teens in love and everything was such a big deal and end of the world back then so they probably were and just are jealous little bfs

I personally think Harry and Louis are indeed quite jealous or can at least show annoyance when the other is affectionate with someone else in public (when it can’t be them) or they might even do it on purpose. Let me give you examples.

Harry’s face watching Zouis vibing practically says “it’s not that funny Zayn”. He looks like he’s moping. Maybe not jealous but feeling left out.

Or here, you can see Louis catch Harry rubbing Liam’s ear lobe and he can’t even stop his “Do me a favor?!?!??” on TV. Harry knows what’s up. There’s tension. Is it jealousy? General annoyance about Harry getting cheeky with Liam? Not sure. But it’s there.

On the other hand, I agree that people blow moments out of proportion to produce their Jealous!Louis or Jealous!Harry meme and then suddenly it turns into a fact.

For instance, when Harry death stares at James it started as a joke that Harry was jealous. It was just a funny meme. Because obviously Harry just tries to compose himself here for the “scene” but also tries holding back a smile. There’s no jealousy involved. I think Harry was very proud actually and tried to contain his fond.

So my general stance is that their situation is extremely unique and everything you and I find to be an appropriate reaction, an appropriate feeling towards a partner, doesn’t necessarily apply to them.

Louis and Harry have displayed great possessiveness towards each other very early on. Yes, they cuddled with everyone in the band, but these two were… intense. They constantly tried to reassure each other when in public, knowing they have to pretend they are just friends.

And when they were restrained from doing that these two went as far as to get complimentary tattoos amidst of Haylor. Was it driven by jealousy? Heartache? Yearning? Insecurity? Who knows, but they did it. And they did it again. And again.

So what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t have gotten a couple’s tattoo with my boyfriend at 19. My mother would have shaken me. I wouldn’t get all flustered when my boyfriend got cuddly with the other lads who I know are like brothers to him. I wouldn’t get weird because my boyfriend held the hand of said bro during an interview.

But then again, I wasn’t closeted. I wasn’t deeply in love with someone in a band that I was also part of. Whose hand I wasn’t allowed to grab anytime. I wasn’t asked to fake date older people to keep the tabloids interested. I didn’t have to watch my boyfriend hold hands with another woman and say that’s his girlfriend when it was actually me. I didn’t have to watch my boyfriend deny any rumors of us being in love when he told me exactly that just backstage.

So hell, what do I know if we read into things too much and we are looking stupid or if Louis and Harry are indeed overly dramatic in every aspect to cope with the overly dramatic situation their hearts were put through since they were teenagers. I do think they’ve gotten better in reassuring one another over the years, else a long distance relationship wouldn’t survive.

[burins]

@try-set-me-on-fire tagged me in the fic stats meme!

Rules: post your fic with the most hits, the second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fewest words!

this one is fun bc i normally have a tampermonkey script on to hide most stats so i can't succumb to Numbers Go Up disease, which for me is terminal.

most hits: mission parameters

"Bruce." Clark turns towards him, leaning back against a bank of consoles. "We're not actually going undercover. We don't need an elaborate backstory– if anything, it'll be harder to keep straight. It doesn't have to be complicated." He spreads his hands. "Here's a story: we're members of the same elite fighting force. After years of saving each other's lives in the field, we fell in love. That's it." Bruce swallows past the almost-truth of it. In Clark's warm smooth radio voice, it sounds plausible. It sounds like something that could happen. — Bruce and Clark pretend to be married for diplomatic reasons. When they return to Earth, things are a little different.

this is tbh a little surprising to me bc it's only been up a couple months??? i would have expected one of my mdzs fics to be on top. superbat fandom y'all are too powerful

second most kudos (and also third most comments AND fourth most bookmarks): talk about all the good things (and the bad things)

In hindsight, Wei Wuxian perhaps should have taken “everyday is everyday” as a metaphorical statement of Lan Zhan’s devotion and love and incredible sexiness, rather than as a challenge. And definitely he should have cottoned on by the third half-hearted hai hour handjob. But how can he look at his husband, the sexiest man he has ever seen, and say “you know what, sweetheart, darling, love of my life. I think we should fuck less.” Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji talk about… sex.

this one is the one i expected to have the most hits lol. but a full four-way sweep would have been even wilder.

fifth most words: flash in the pan

Here’s the thing. Clark does understand. Superman and Batman are fucking. Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne are not. Clark can handle this. He keeps parts of his life separate all the time. It’s possible, Clark thinks, as he glares at a lurid tabloid cover of Bruce’s latest scandalous yacht party in the grocery store checkout aisle, that he can’t handle this. — At the Wayne Foundation's annual holiday party, things come to a head.

awww it's the second superbat i ever wrote! i have a soft spot for this one bc i became fully possessed while writing it. i wrote 3k words On Christmas Day. (i do NOT know when i found time to do this bc we were busy with family most of the day. maybe that night?)

fewest words: fif-teen

this one doesn't have a summary but it's a 15 days of Friends at the Table drabble collection except i only wrote one drabble. so it's 300 words of hella and adelaide dancing.

bc talk about all the good things dominated so much i ran the numbers with just dcu fics for fun:

second most kudos is mission parameters, third most comments is flash in the pan, fourth most bookmarks is there when the light comes in (timkon road trip au! my beloved), and fifth most words bumps down to unfurl (superbat alien junk with bonus timkon.)

and then wrapping it up with fewest words is all my love and terror balanced there, my jason & bruce fic for Bruce Wayne Week. which makes sense because i wrote almost the entirety of it on my phone when i was supposed to be going to bed lol