#mary macdonald angst

[lady-disdain221b]

art by sophithl, likeafunerall, and nasablack

[spiderfunkz]

omg hi congratulations!!!!

I would loved to request punch → send me a prompt / thought / a lyric or a song + a character and i'll make a little blurb out of it.

“i knew” by lizzy mcalpine x mary mcdonald or any of the girls plsss<3

no rush!!

"i knew" by lizzy mcalphine + mary macdonald

i love this song!! thank u sm for the ask anon, sorry this took a while writers block was holding me hostage🏃🏃🏃 but it's here now so i hope u enjoy it! also this is angsty (implied character death, reader died in 1981 like marlene). this is based on the lyrics from the song

mary macdonald wasn't sure about many things in her life, but she did know two things for sure, which is that grass is green, and that she is definitely, 100%, in love with you.

maybe it was the time you walked her to the dorms at night after she fell asleep in the library.

or the time you gave her a happy birthday card with a drawing of you and mary holding hands.

or maybe it was the time you lended her a pencil when she forgot hers with a note that lead you to your first date with her.

and everytime mary macdonald thinks about those memories, she just falls harder and harder for you. she was more than lucky to call you her girlfriend, she would cherish every moment she gets to spend with you.

she loves the late night walks you two would go on, or the nights where you two would stay up and listen to songs, or the small things you would do for her like tie her shoe laces when their untied, even when you're in the middle of the street you will still stop and tie her laces.

she knew you loved her, so why did you have to go? why did you have to go so soon? why did you have her there, alone?

[marauders-tiktok-curator]

This is one of the best edits ever, or at least as someone who read ATYD and is in love with Mary and all the angsty relationship issues, this is incredible

[lesbianjackies]

cherry wine 🍒🍷

mary macdonald x fem!reader

word count: 424

warnings: minor angst

summary: you think mary’s in love with remus, but she’s really in love with you.

taglist: @gg-is-a-loser @yesshewrites1 @regulusblackswhorecrux @arakhnee (ty for requesting sy!! <3) @my-my-only-angel @sw34terw34ther @shyposttree

a/n: how are we feeling about the more aesthetic layout?? i rly like it, i think it’s fun hehe

“(y/n), wait!”

you stopped in your tracks, drenched to the bone and sobbing furiously. “go away, mary,” you managed weakly. “you’ve made your choice.”

remus. she chose remus. of course she did—remus was kind, and smart, and handsome and the perfect foil to mary’s gorgeous fire. and remus was a boy. which meant remus was a lot easier to love than you were.

“(y/n), no.” mary’s voice was softer, but you could hear her more clearly. a hand came to rest on your should and you turned around to see her standing right behind you. “i love you. you. not remus, not alice, not lily or peter or anyone else. you.”

you sniffled, looking deep into her nearly black eyes, those dark chocolate pools you drown in every moment you find yourself looking at her. “why have you never told me, then? why do you always flirt with everyone but me? why don’t you act like it?”

mary shook her head, reaching up with a shaking hand to cup your chin; you melted into the slight embrace. “fear. fear that no one would look at me the same if they knew i was in love with a girl. fear that i couldn’t have a normal relationship ever again. fear that you’d be disgusted with me, that you’d never want to talk to me again. fear that you wouldn’t love me like i can’t stop loving you.”

your breath hitched and your gaze traveled unwillingly to her lips, her plump, cherry-red lips that you’d wanted to taste since the moment you met her.

“(y/n).” she said your name and your eyes jerked back up to hers. “i love you. i’m not afraid to say it anymore. i’m done living in fear because you deserve so much better than that. i was a fool to let my anxieties keep me away from you. please, can you find it within you to let yourself love me back?”

a moment passed, a tense, quiet moment filled only by the sound of rain pattering all around you and the intensity of mary’s gaze as she locked your eyes in her own.

the tension broke and your lips crashed against hers, kissing her like you’d never kissed anyone before. she tasted of cherry wine, sweet with a slight intoxicating kick, and by merlin you couldn’t get nearly enough, coming back for seconds and thirds until neither of you could breathe.

you forced yourself away and rested your forehead against hers, breathing heavily before shutting your eyes.

“i love you too.”

🍒🍷reblogs are sincerely appreciated!!🍷🍒

[twisted-tales-told]

paul revere!!

Mary Macdonald has alway loved her parents apartment. Her dads cooking filling up the air, and her mothers favourite couch always covered in her latest knitting project.

Her sister leaves her school books on the dining room table, and it annoys her older brother to no end, because he likes to work there too.

What hurts is she never spent enough time here. She was always coming and going. Even in the summer, she was leaving to Lily's, or James' house.

She should have brought them home here. They would have loved the light yellow walls, and deep walnut floors.

She wishes she could have had her mom make them her famous chilli, or even just some lemonade.

They could have watched films in the living room, stayed up late until her dad shuffles out grumpily asking them to keep it down. He never got angry about that kind of thing, though. He loved watching her be happy.

Instead she's here. Curled up on the couch with her mum running a hand down her back, so concerned.

Boxes from her, Marlene, and Lily's apartment in the hallway. She couldn't bear to be there. The ghosts were suffocating. Lily's laugh, Marlene's music haunted the halls.

They're gone.

All gone.

[saintchaser]

mary macdonald never thought that, on the day of christmas, she'd be gone. christmas' bids of goodbyes were supposed to be glasses of eggnog clicking against each other and kisses on cheeks, a light smell of gingerbread and fire. christmas' goodbyes were supposed to be warm and light, and how come this year's were so heavy and cold?

she never thought she'd leave london. once, it had been everything she needed. clubs, pubs, cafés, and shops, to have a bit of fun, even in times of war, and post offices, to send letters to those she loved. soon, all of those were gone, destroyed by the death eaters, blown to pieces, and their ruins riddled with the past. something else would be built in their place, but their memory would not dissipate as easily as that, memories of good times that had been so short, and not meant to be theirs.

she never thought she'd leave london, becausd it had once been everything she needed.

and now, all she needed was to forget.

and so the woman at the check in desk, blonde hair and a nose piercing and looking almost painfully like marlene, checked her ticket for the next flight, and she carried her luggage to the airplane, and she boarded. she put it right above her head and she sat down next to a man and his son, who looked at her with big eyes, and she just shut hers, james and hari playing in her head because both had the same unruly and curly black hair that the people next to her had.

she knew that she'd never be able to escape them. they'd always be there, with her, wherever she'd go, their laughs bouncing in her head and her feelings their hands on her as they danced together, joyous and free.

she knew that she'd never be able to escape them. the least she could do is make it hurt less. and so, she snapped her wand and threw away her school robes and the only thing she kept, but almost set fire to, before she changed her mind, was the album with the pictures of all of them, from hogwarts, when they didn't know what war, or grief, or all that pent up rage was.

and her plane took off and, bringing her fingers to her lips, she kissed london goodbye.

merry christmas, war is over.

[fourmoony]

I HAVE THE BEST REQUEST AND IT'S PERFECT FOR JAMES! like imagine reader sitting at home and suddenly she gets a text from james to come outside and he's standing there🥲🥲🥲🥲 so she asks what he's doing there and he's like "i just wanted to kiss you" SORRY IF IT'S TOO SPECIFIC

thanks for requesting, sweetie!

f!reader 1.1k words cw: drunk jamie

You're half asleep when your phone pings, illuminating the darkness of your bedroom in a distracting glow and you're half asleep, content to ignore the single ping, a problem for tomorrow. But another one follows a moment later, the third only seconds after the second. With a huff, your hand reaches out to grab blindly for the device.

James' contact photo smiles at you from the corner of the notification box, his glasses askew and hair a mess. Your favourite photo of him, despite how vehemently he detests it. The messages are a jumble of words you struggle to make out, vowels in the wrong places and an amusing amount of emojis, even for James. A laugh huffs it way out of you as the three text bubbles appear once again, and a fourth message comes through. A photo of your house.

You'd be concerned, should anyone else have sent you the eerie looking photo of your house in utter darkness, but James is a love sick fool. You'd have to be blind not to know that about your boyfriend, even if things between you are still pretty new. He's not got a bad bone in his body. But it doesn't stop the way you sit up in a panic, scanning the floor of your bedroom for less embarrassing clothing. You come up empty, and your phone is incessantly buzzing in your hands now that James knows you've read his messages.

You use the glow of your phone to find your way downstairs, your house keys, make your way to the door and unlock it. James is sprawled out on the grass of your front garden, phone comically close to his face as he squints at the words he's typing. Drunk. Absolutely obliterated, clearly. You'll give Sirius shit for it, tomorrow, you think, as you let an exasperated laugh tumble from your lips.

James whips his head around at the noise, scrambles like a puppy to stand and bound his way over to you. He tramples some of the flowers planted around the borders of the grass and you fight a wince. He's on you in seconds, warmth radiating from him despite having been out in the cold for god knows how long. His arms are strong and steady, even though he reeks of beer, as he pulls you into them, lips firmly planted on the top of your head.

You try to peek over his shoulder for any sign of who dropped him off, but the street is empty, desolate, and you decide he must've walked from the pub.

Sleep still clings to the edges of your eyes as James pushes you back - uncoordinated and a little roughly, but you don't mind - and holds your face in his warm hands. "Hi, lovely girl." His voice is sweet and brimming with excitement at the sight of you and your heart swells.

"What on earth are you doing here, James?" You ask, though your words are kind and laced with amusement.

Your boyfriend only grins like the cat who got the cream, like he can't wait to tell you all about his adventure, until his eyes snag on your pyjamas. Technically, his pyjamas. His old juniors rugby top from secondary school and his boxer shorts, left abandoned by him last week when he'd slept in for breakfast with his mum and left in a hurry, a kiss placed to your cheek and the promise of being home for dinner. It had felt so domestic you'd had to talk yourself down from overflowing excitement for hours.

"Woah." James breathes, eyes wide.

You'd known he wouldn't mind you wearing his clothes, even if a little embarrassment at the idea had clung to your skin as you slipped them on before bed. But you hadn't expected him to feel like that about it.

"Easy tiger, you're three sheets to the wind." You chide softly, using the distraction to usher him into the hallway.

You close and lock the door behind him, place the keys in the bowl beside the door. James finds you in the darkness, hands soft against the fabric of his clothes on your body. You don't have to see him to know he's smiling that coy smile he gets whenever he seems to remember he has you.

"Am not." He mumbles, as if your statement has just now caught up with him.

You laugh, take his hand to lead him towards your bedroom. He follows quietly and without protest, but frowns when you flip on the overhead light and place him on the edge of your bed.

"What happened to Sirius' epic boys night on the town?" You ask, hands on his face as you crowd the in between of his legs.

His hands come to rest against the backs of your thighs, grip firm but soothing. He smiles, head lolling to the side, "Well," He sighs, as if buckling in for some wild tale of beasts slaughtered and mountains climbed, all just to get to you, "Sirius and Remus got drunk, like really, really drunk, and touchy and they were kissing and it made me realise how much I wanted to kiss you. So I left, and I came here for a quick kiss."

"A quick kiss?" You ask, eyebrow raised.

James just smiles, nodding dutifully, like it makes the most sense in the world. "Yeah, I gotta go back. They don't know I left."

You let out a long, suffering sigh, reaching for your phone beside James. "You can't just leave and not tell anyone where you're going."

"If they even realise I'm gone, they'll know where I am. With you." James shrugs.

"How do you reckon?"

"Where else would I be?" He asks, so serious and determined, so sure of himself that it makes your breath catch in your throat.

You can't help but smile, sweet and saccharine, glowing all over as you lean down to press your lips to James'.

"You're sweet."

James wrinkles his noise, grip tightening on your thighs as he pulls you down to him, falling backwards with a gentle thud. You catch yourself before your head collides with his nose and James grins, childish and playful, "You're sweet, too."

"Thanks, Jamie."

He presses his lips to yours, again, simple and warm. He knows he's in no condition for anything else, simply tucks you into his side and tries to get you to fall asleep with him, right there in the middle of the bed, on top of the blankets.

He's dead to the world in seconds, so you don't have much room for argument.

[vqlluna]

CLOSURE ━━━ REMUS LUPIN

summary: it's been years since you confessed your love to Remus, and he couldn't reciprocate it. It's been years since your days at Hogwarts ended, and you're now recouped back with your schoolmates for a holiday party. What could go wrong?

pairings: f!reader x remus lupin, angst, fluff,

a/n: ngl this is partly based on the beginning of my parent's little love story, and of course, this is based on closure by taylor swift (and basically the whole evermore album)

      ❝ IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, and seeing the shape of your name just spells out pain. It wasn't right the way it all went down, looks like you know that now... ❞

     You quickly ran down the stairs of your apartment, trying your best to fit the silver hoop through your ear without harming yourself. You tripped your way into your incredibly small kitchen, shuffling at the island counter, which only was filled with months-old letters, bills, and notices, trying your best to find a specific invitation.

     Mary Macdonald had been your best schoolmate during your years at Hogwarts, and despite, by now a few years, of barely speaking to her or anyone in her crowd, she'd been so kind as to invite you to a wonderfully large and fancy Christmas Party.

     And it was for this very reason as to why you stood in your most expensive dress, dug out from the back of your closet. You wiped your sweaty hands on the velvet fabric before delving back into the mountain of parchment searching for the envelope that held every single piece of information you neglected to put to memory that would get you into that party.

     You were desperate to spend your Holidays not stuck in your parent's home for once. But it was only once you accidentally stumbled into a large stack as every single piece of paper collapsed on the floor, that you realized who might actually be there. You carefully picked up small clumps, replacing them back on the counter as you eyed the very last one.

     It was quite dusty with small water stains sprinkled and it was extremely crumpled. Your jaw clenched as you picked it up and placed it at the edge of the counter. You inhaled a large breath before snapping your head in a different direction as you finally saw the invitation in your peripheral.

     You ran to your living area grabbed your purse and ran back as you gripped the envelope. As expected, you've managed to make yourself late. You waddled on over in your heels to the small entranceway and picked up your coat and wand from the coat rack.

     Maybe in a moment of weakness or a flood of memories, you looked back to the dirty crinkled piece of parchment in your kitchen. It was a big party, there would barely be any chance you'd see him, you assured yourself. And in fact even if you do, you can do you best to avoid him, you planned.

     You shook your head and stepped back towards the island. Gripping the envelope tightly you shoved it into the pocket of your coat.

     But if by any chance you ended up speaking with him tonight, you'd surely give it back, you couldn't possibly bear the weight of that note anymore, and you surely had no use for it now.

     Taking a deep sigh you adjusted the collar of your jacket, patting now your hair in the mirror before exiting your old townhome. You locked the door behind you and shoved your hands into your pockets. You squeezed the envelope inside it almost in comfort before you apparated yourself away.

     ❝ Yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. It cut deep to know ya', right to the bone... ❞

     After you found yourself apparated to an area which you knew was near your designation you crunched the snow beneath your heels as you walked, almost aimlessly, to the party. Upon seeing the large estate you felt wildly unprepared and under-dressed. Least to say it was a luxurious event.

     You stumbled up the steps, nervously searching through the vast halls, filled with fishes of people, to find a pair of, wanted, familiar eyes. You found yourself in the gigantic main room, as witches and wizards conversed among themselves, grabbing the treats and drinks off the trays of staff.

     You were stopped as one of the waiters offered you a truffle, interested in the beautiful dessert you picked it up and turned around as you shoved it in your face, only to accidentally bump into another figure. The woman you'd crashed into turned around, their bright red hair flashing your eyes. As you got a good look at the person your face fell.

     "Oh my—Merlin! y/n is that you?" she excitedly asked, disregarding your muttered apology and quickness in trying to whip back around. You cringed and turned back around on your heel giving a fake smile.

     "Lily—my Godric, hi," you breathed.

     Lily slowly parted from her current conversation to partake in one with you. "Well I haven't seen you in forever! Where are you, what do you do now?" she questioned.

     You wiped your sweaty palms once again on the fabric of your dress, "I, uhm, I live in Chudley now," you chuckled nervously "I'm an artist, a painter actually."

     The red-headed girl looked at you in such awe, and you were certainly in disbelief as to why. "Wow y/n, have you sold much? Featured in a gallery ever?" she was completely interested. It was then that you remembered that she was always like this, but it'd been so long that you'd forgotten what it was like to have someone engaged in what you had to say.

     Your smile finally picked up a bit, "Yes, actually, got my first gallery showing about a week ago, it's still up for a couple of months! But uh, regarding sales, it's enough to keep the lights on, y'know?"

     "Well I think it's absolutely lovely that you're working your dream, that's really great," Lily appreciated, "I'm assuming you're trying to find Mary, come along this way, she with the rest of them!" she waved on, but your feet were planted in the ground.

     You gulped down the last tiny bit of your truffle, you eyebrows knitted together as you stuttered, "The—the uhm, the rest of them?"

     Lily's excitement softened at your mutters, "Oh you're still—" she said slightly surprised but she cut herself off in fear of saying something offensive, "He hasn't arrived yet," she assured, then lowering her voice in a whisper, "We're not sure if he's coming, it's around that time."

     You grew a small frown, "Ah," you hummed, "He uh, well," you dug out the letter from your pocket, waving it in front of Lily as she read the senders name printed in the corner. Her lips pressed together as she nodded, giving you relief as she disregarded it and intended to act like she didn't see the letter, nor knew anything of the situation guiding you through the nets of attendees.

     You took a large breath of bravery through your nose as you slowly approached the circle of very familiar faces. You first caught Marlene Mckinnon's attention, catching you in her view her eyebrows lifted as her mouth formed a small O.

     Following her gaze, Sirius finally saw you, his eyes widened in utter shock as he absentmindedly nudged James beside him. Looking at the disturbance James' cheeks puffed up with air before exhaling it out. Dorcas, who stood at the other end beside Marlene watched the scene and you could see her mouth the word "shit," at everyone's upset.

     How were you to approach a group of old friends who now semi-hated you but yet felt incredibly sorry for you? Instead of stressing over the others, you focussed on how Mary squealed with joy upon seeing you. She slightly waddled a run in her heels over to you as she embraced you warmly. "You came!"

     You scrunched your face with a grin as you pulled back, "Of course, Mary! Needed to get out of the house anyways," you smiled, she put you at ease even while Marlene looked at you so skeptically and as James and Sirius exchanged glasses before downing the rest their glasses of champagne in their hands.

     "Well if it isn't y/n y/l," Marlene smirked, it completely confused you because while the rest of her face seemed elated to see you, her eyes seemed to almost be throwing daggers at you. The rest of the women quickly warmed up to you as you entered the conversation, though James and Sirius kept almost unnervingly quiet. Above all, you noticed the absence of Peter and him.

     Finally, the conversation began to smooth, the group being able to get quite a few good hearty laughs from you. Though the ends of your Hogwarts days were a touchy subject that everyone mindlessly agreed not to talk about, you all got caught up in reminiscing on events previous to it.

     But it soon came to a close as Peter ran up, "I've got a surprise f'you all!" he exclaimed gripping the back of James' shoulder as he squeezed himself between the pair of men before he looked across the circle to you. He opened his mouth to say something before tightly shutting it closed. 

     Behind him followed another man. He was tall, dressed his best scraggly black coat, a white undershirt, and black slacks all tied together with a matching black tie. His ruffly brown hair didn't match his attire, and neither did the deep scars that lined his face, some old but some fresh and new, but either way he was undeniably beautiful.

     He slowed to a stop in the small opening between Peter and Sirius as his half-lidded eyes and warm smile turned into repetitive blinking of disbelief and lips in awe.

    And for a moment, the rapid growing beat of your heart, as you saw his figure coming, came to a complete stop.

     And everything was deadly silent.

     ❝ Yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. I know that it's over, I don't need your closure... ❞

     The group stood still and quiet for seconds as their eyes flickered between the two of you, itching to see the reactions. The awkwardness between everything grew to a hot before Sirius shut it down, to the relief of everyone except you.

     "So who needs a drink?" he asked, and like a pounce of a tiger, everyone utters their Yups and Yes's and Count Me In's, scurrying away quickly. Mary was the last to leave, fighting with herself in her head if it was better to let you deal with it for once or keep you safe from this horror you desperately tried to stay away from.

     You dipped your head down staring at your shoes trying to avoid his eyes. It was only when he cleared his throat that you snapped ur attention back up to him. "Remus," you greeted quickly with his name, flashing a fake, uncomfortable smile.

     He grazed your figure with his eyes for a beat before he muttered your name, "y/n."

     The air felt cold and thick against your exposed skin, your necklace and dress growing tight on your skin from hearing your name from his lips again. "How are you—"

     "Cut it with the niceties Moo—Lupin," you stopped him, "You can have your letter back," you growled digging the letter back out of your pocket and shoving it in his hand, "I've gotten all of them, but this one... you need to take this one back. I don't want it," you gritted.

     "Y/n, I just. You wouldn't talk to me, I needed you to know—" Remus changed, not wanting your disacceptence.

     "So filling my mail with your stupid words would get us through to each other? You did all this to yourself."

     "I didn't know you had—Look I'm sorry but I was scared—"

     You scoffed and laughed in his face adjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder, "I'm not doing this with you right now, here, after all this time. I'll send the rest of your letters over another day, K?" you ended turning around walking out of the grand room and through the halls.

     Remus' heart clenched in love of hearing your laugh but hated the circumstances it was under, begging for this conversation, to clear up every single miscommunication and wrong step, he followed you out. 

     You crossed by the open bar finding Mary and everyone else downing drinks. You took her hands into your own, "Thanks for inviting me Mary, truly, but I best get going now," you thanked quickly, ignoring Remus behind you with his open mouth with empty words. He only flicked his eyes to the group for a fraction of a second before landing back to you, still closely following you out as you grabbed your coat at the door and exited the mansion.

     ❝ Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled. I'm fine with my spite, and my tears, and my beers, and my candles. I can feel you smoothing me over... ❞

     You were halfway across the large courtyard as Remus scurried down the steps, "I loved you!" he exclaimed. You froze and a sharp breath filled your lungs as you whipped around, and you let yourself fully remember what happened for once.

     It was the start of your seventh year at Hogwarts. Everyone knew something was brewing between you and Remus. The strong tension, the back-and-forth banters, subtle compliments, and executing favors with no question.

     It felt like a silent agreement between you two as the flirtations grew more obvious. Every sight of him caught you winded, and every touch had you melt to the floor, when he finally kissed you, you couldn't help but feel yourself explode with your own personal fireworks. Until he pulled away.

     Rumors that he started talking to someone new shattered you. Soon your heartbreak filled with rage, he'd lead you on only to crush you and leave you stranded. And where once, he helped you captain your ship, you soon found him drowned away as you frantically steered yourself into an iceberg. 

     Your anger so strong you couldn't even look at him, and so you left anything related to him altogether.

     Because you thought you had something, only to be made to feel like you meant nothing. Your graduation day only led to more despair as Remus sought you out once again, with the courage to confess. You shut him down and locked him out. It was the loudest and yet most silent, lonely, train ride home.

     You blinked back to the present, Remus and you still in the exact moment and positions. Your jaw clenched as his next words came out so softly, so slowly, like a whisper only you could hear across the courtyard. "I still love you."

     ❝ Yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. It cut deep to know you right to the bone. Yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. I know that it's over, I don't need your closure. Your closure, your closure, your closure...❞

     The fire in your stomach was lit again, "Don't. Moony, just don't. What was that letter? Huh?" you begged, "'I'm letting you go. I hope you're life is swell'? What was that bloody shit? Because it sure seemed to me like a let's-catch-up-like-good-old-friends type of letter! Not a I've-loved-you-after-all-these-years!" you shouted angrily stomping your way up to him.

     "You didn't even try! In any of your letters! All you do is act like it's fine or give empty apologies. So please, explain now, give me a real reason for everything, but don't give me this shit."

     He stared at you in worry as your bottom lip quivered, eyes glazed in gloss. "I was trying to stop loving you."

     You sobbed a wolfish laugh, "Bull. Shit." you said, pushing his chest away, "You knew I was interested! You knew! So don't give me that absolute fuckery because it makes no sense!" 

      "I couldn't burden you with—everything—all my...problems," he whimpered, "You needed, you need someone stable. You need someone who can give you a home and family like you wanted."

      You parted you lips at his confessions of insecurties, "Remus, I'm a full time artist, barely making it to keep my water on—" you tried explaining back to him.

      "I saw your gallery, you know! You need someone who's going to help you show off more of your talent, not hold you back! So why haven't you found someone yet? Stop sitting around hung up on me—" he rambled on, getting angier as you tried driving him away, but bits of every sentence he said added fuel to your burning fire.

     "I am not hung up on you!" you exclaimed.

     "So why are you here begging me for reasons why I didn't want to be with you? Why do you have to freeze every damn time you look at me, and for Merlin's sake, why've you kept all my letters?"

     Your face blackened while you glared into his eyes. And while your fear of confrontation was afraid of confronting what went down, it was the fear of confronting what still lingered. You still loved him. That's what you wrote in the only letter you ever wrote back, the letter you never sent.

     And maybe that's why his letters stopped coming. When he was finally ready to let go and take his risks to have you, you neglected to accept his grasp.

     ❝I know I'm just a wrinkle in your past life. Staying friends would iron it out so nice. Guilty, guilty reaching out across the sea that you put between you and me. But it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary...❞

     You didn't know why you did it, well you knew why you did it, but you didn't know what came of you. Because instead of pushing him away, you gripped tightly onto the collar of his white shirt, dragging and pulling him to you as you crashed your lips onto his. 

     And when he, very quickly, kissed you back, your hands skidded up grasping the sides of his face, his own hands pressing your back closer into him. Your lips toppled over each other fueled with passion, craning his neck down just to feel more of you. 

     You didn't mind that the chilly air froze your cheeks because when the snow came falling you knew it was for the two of you, hoping that it'd freeze you in this moment. You panted lightly through your nose as Remus finally pulled back from you, dashing his eyes all across your face trying to read you.

     "Because I don't want you to let go, Remus," you whispered your answer back, Remus shaking his head sofly and rapidly in assurance of your words, "I'm fine with your problems, I'm fine if you can't give me a family, I'm fine if you can't give me a steady life." you scrambled tripping over your own words.

     After avoiding his gaze you finally let his chases of finding your eyes catch up with you. "I don't want just a life, Rem. I wanted a life with you. You can't just try to let go of me, can't just stop loving me because you're scared of that," you scolded, furrowing your eyebrows at him.

     "You need to let yourself love someone, you've— you need to give me a chance so I can love you." you pressed. Your stomach fluttered as he gave you a soft kiss as your lips once more, and this time when he pulled back he kept his eyes on yours, not letting you look away. You didn't want to look away, you were hanging on waiting for him to say something, anything.

     "I will."

     ❝ Yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. It cut deep to know you right to the bone. Yes, I got your letter, yes, I'm doing better. I know that it's over, I don't need your closure. Closure, your closure, your closure.❞

[a-great-tragedy]

Sirius died hating Regulus and Regulus died knowing Sirius would.

[lenacosse]

Sirius black x reader that are in a secret relationship to not ruin their friendship, make it angsty, they pretend they don’t love each other and that it’s just secret sex (because the sex is fantastic) but they do love each other so much it consumes them.

Say don’t go…

pairing: sirius black x female reader

cw: brief smut, alcohol consumption, angst

word count: 3,295

(this is my first request so i hope it’s okay. hopefully this is what you were expecting!)

————————————————————————

You run your hands through Sirius’ hair as he pounds into you, the sound of your moans and the bed rocking against the wall fill the room. You feel yourself getting closer by the second, the tension in your stomach rapidly builds.

“Sirius,” you moan. “Im so close”.

“I know me too.” His thrusts get sloppier as he groans in your ear.

The tension in your abdomen releases as your whole body feels euphoric. Your moans get softer as you slowly come down from your high. Sirius gets faster, chasing his release, your legs shake around his waist as your nails dig into his shoulder pads. He lets out a deep moan and releases onto your thighs. Sirius gets dressed again, cleans you up and sits at the bottom of his bed handing you your clothes.

“You good to walk?” Sirius asks, passing you your jumper.

“I’m good, thanks pads.” You smile, what you said was only partially true. You knew you couldn’t stay, you never stayed that was one of the rules you gave yourself. For you having him in anyway at all is better than not having him. Even if it meant you had to hurt yourself every time by leaving.

“Alright, see you later. Remember if you see the boys on your way back tell them we were doing homework.”

You nod and give him a smile before leaving his dorm. Once you’re out your smile drops and your eyes water. Every time he doesn’t tell you to stay feels like a kick to the gut, you knew you were going around in circles with yourself. You were so undoubtedly in love with Sirius that you couldn’t even think straight. Any rational person would have ended the hooking up months ago, but you couldn’t get enough of it. It was the closest way to being with him and that moment when he’s undressing you, then touching you, and kissing you everything drifted away and all you felt was him. So you accepted the fact he only wanted one thing out of you, or so you thought because to everyone else it’s so obvious he loves you, anytime Sirius has liked a girl the only thing he would do is tease her and prank her. But he cared too much about you to do that, so instead he soaks up everything you have to say, he searches for your face in crowds, he values you opinions on literally anything and most of all he betters himself for you. However you couldn’t see that, and so he assumed you didn’t love him back.

“Where have you been?” Lily raises and eyebrow from behind her book as you walk into your dorm room, Mary is painting her nails and Marlene is finishing homework.

“Nowhere.” You reply and kick your shoes off. You sit on your bed avoiding eye contact with the girls, see you hadn’t exactly told them about you and Siriushe didn’t tell his friends, not even James. Yet Lily was catching on, she just knew but couldn’t prove it.

She puts her book down and goes to sit on your bed, she crosses her legs and sits directly in front of you. You look over to Mary who just shrugs in response.

“(Y/N) please just tell us. It’s so obvious,” Lily tried to get the truth from you.

“Tell you what?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” Lily sighed.

“No I don’t actually, I’m not psychic.”

“You and Sirius? You’re hooking up right?” Mary looks at you, her question circling in your head.

You just start laughing, looking at her as if she’s mad. A part of you felt embarrassed, how you saw it was that Sirius was embarrassed to be with you, so he never asked you out to Hogsmeade or told you to stay. And now your friends were catching on which made you feel nothing but a deep shame.

“I’d never get with Sirius.” You scoff.

“It’s so obvious you’re obsessed with him. Why can’t you just tell us?” Asks Lily

“Im not having this conversation. If you don’t believe me then that’s your problem.” You glare at Lily and Mary. Lily moves off your bed and goes back to her book, Marlene didn’t hear a thing from listening to a mixtape through her headphones.

As you lay awake to Merlin knows what hour as you think of Sirius. Not being with him would drive you mad, but there’s no way you could go on like this. Nothing made sense, if you told him how you felt and he didn’t feel the same way things would be weird. You valued your friendship with Sirius and his friends, your friend groups had just started to merge together. Especially now that Lily tolerates James, and you didn’t want to ruin that. But you also couldn’t lose Sirius, Sirius who brought out the best parts of you, Sirius who brought excitement and thrill into your life. Sirius who made you laugh until your sides hurt, but most of all Sirius who gives you life who lifts you up and makes you feel important. You needed him, so you came to the decision not to talk to him, maybe one day you’d have the courage.

———————————————————————

You walk into the common room to hear cheers and clapping. Your friends had thrown you a surprise party for your birthday, you couldn’t hold back the grin that spread across your face. Birthdays were a touchy topic for you considering your parents didn’t exactly care to celebrate, but you’ve found happiness in them since first year, and nothing made you feel more appreciated than seeing all their faces cheering for you.

“Happy birthday (Y/N/N)!” Remus smiled, pulling you into a hug.

“Thank you. Whose idea was this?” You ask taking the drink that Mary forced into your hand.

“Mine.” Sirius walked over to you and Remus. He nudged you with his elbow. “Happy birthday.” He winked. You smiled into your cup trying to defuse the blush that was creeping up over your cheeks. You looked up to Remus who stood awkwardly watching the interaction.

“Im going to go..” he walked away. You turned your attention to Sirius.

“Was this really your idea?”

“What you think I don’t care about you? Lily was trying to get us to have a picnic for your birthday, that would’ve been awful.” You shrug as he said the first sentence, it took everything in you to not question how much he actually did care. But fighting wouldn’t solve anything right now.

“My saviour.” You roll your eyes playfully, Sirius excuses himself and you scan the room. It was packed with your friends and those in your year group, the smell of cigarettes and cheap alcohol filled your senses as the record player that Marlene has filled the room with ABBA, you leaned against the wall a content smile resting on your face. The reality that Sirius had planned this made you have butterflies, maybe he did feel something for you.. or maybe you were reading in to it too much but regardless you wouldn’t dare act on it.

Marlene walks over to you already half cut, you couldn’t help but laugh as she tumbled into some Slytherins.

“There she is, birthday girl.”

“Drunk already marls?” You tease.

“Of course I am.”

“Why are you standing alone, come sit with us.”

“I was just seeing who was here,” you replied and followed her to your group of friends. There sat James, Lily, Mary and now you and Marlene.

You played a game of never have I ever which of course ended in someone getting absolutely plastered. Surprisingly that person was James who drank to some really concerning things, which you absolutely planned to hold over his head.

“You should talk to Sirius.” James blurts out, Lily smacks him hard in the arm causing a groan to escape his mouth as he flicked her cheek.

“What are you talking about?” You sigh, topping up your drink with fire whiskey. It burned its way down your system as you took a sip, making you shiver.

“Watching you two is a complete disaster,” James tutted.

“There is no us. We’re friends, that’s all.” You scoff. You look over your shoulder to see Sirius standing there with a gift present, his face drops as you turn around. Before you know it he’s gone up the stairs.

You rack your brain trying to understand what just happened, until you realise he heard everything you just said. But that didn’t make sense. Sirius wasn’t into you, so why did he look at you like his whole world has shattered? You get up from your seat and head upstairs after him, you knock on his door and slowly open it.

“Sirius?” You call out walking into his dorm.

He turns to face you, a bottle of fire whiskey in his hand. He smiles at you, but he looked upset, you could tell by his eyes.

“Everything okay?” You walk to him. Sitting next to him, he passes you the bottle of fire whiskey. You take a swig, your throat and eyes burning from the sensation.

“Of course.” He replies flatly.

“Are you sure?”

“Just drop it.”

“Sorry.” You sigh. You awkwardly pull on your sleeves, the silence between you both is consuming you. “Lily thinks we’re hooking up. Can’t keep anything from her.”

“What did you tell her.”

“I said I’d never,” you cringe as the words came out of your mouth. You internally kick yourself, who the fuck says that?

“Of course you did.” Sirius scoffs.

“What do you mean?” You look at him, you look him in the eye, his eyes hold so much emotion in them that it makes your heart hurt. It was in that moment you realise what you’ve done. He loved you. He adored you. Yet sitting here looking at him you watch that love and adoration die. “Sirius..”

“Don’t.” He looks away. His eyes burning holes into the wall. Without looking at you he gives you the present bag, you take it and leave the room. Not daring to say anything that would make matters worse.

You stand against the wall, with shaky hands and open the present. You heart drops once you see it, he wrote you a poem, the poem talks about the little things you do that he adores. Reading it makes your head hurt, you feel like the worst person ever, you’ve frankly never felt shame like it. You can’t hold the tears that fall from your eyes, in the bag is also a bracelet, it has red ruby stones in it, seeing it makes your heart shatter even more. You go to your dorm, to catch a breath. Which entails you first starting at your present and crying, then trying to think of something to do but you ultimately decide that you needed to give Sirius space, talking it through is the worst decision. So you go back to the party soon after and the only thing you do is drink. You have never felt more ashamed, so of course you pity drink which leads to you being an absolute mess, but it kept your feelings at bay somehow.

“I think you’ve had enough (Y/N),” James says trying to pry the bottle off you.

“Fuck off.” You slur taking another swig.

“Seriously give me the bottle. This is ridiculous.”

“James. Fuck off.”

James just sighs and accepts defeat, you keep looking for Sirius. But you can’t see him that is until you’re sitting talking to Marlene who’s just a drunk as you are, suddenly you hear a bunch of cheering. You look over to where the noise is coming from and there’s a group of people circled around. Out of curiosity you get up to see, you stumble over and squeeze your way to get a good view. You see Sirius and this girl throwing back shot after shot, he catches your eye and gives you a cold glare. The act gives you goosebumps and makes your skin crawl, as he’s still looking at you he grabs the girl by the collar and they share a very passionate kiss. Your stomach churns and your vision blurs, you feel an arm grab you and next thing you know you’re in your dorm, uncontrollably sobbing.

“Drink this,” Remus gives you a cup of water, you take a little sip in between your sobs.

“I ruined everything,” you sob, “Sirius is never going to talk to me again.”

“He might.” Remus shrugged.

“Well aren’t you just so helpful.” You poke his chest. He gives you some tissues and sits with you until you pass out from all the crying you’ve done. Remus felt bad for you but he knew Sirius would eventually come around, he just needed time to be defiant.

——————————————————————

Two weeks has passed since your birthday, two weeks of torture. Everything between your friend group was so awkward you stopped sitting with them at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sirius upright refused to acknowledge your existence and anytime he looked at you it would be countered by him snogging his new girlfriend. Lily had tried to force you to talk to him but you couldn’t bare it, you also cried yourself to sleep most nights, you knew it was your fault but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“(Y/N)?” Marlene snapped her fingers in front of your face, startled you jumped a little and look at her.

“What?!” You snapped.

“You’re supposed to be quizzing Lily.” You sigh and look at Lily, she offers you a sympathetic smile and hands you her flash cards. You, Marlene and Lily were in the library studying for upcoming mocks. Except you couldn’t focus.

“You know what. I’m sick of this. Go talk to him.” Lily snapped, she had been trying to get through to you every single day since your party.

“I told you already, there is no point he won’t talk to me.” You fire back.

“No. There absolutely is. This is getting ridiculous! I can’t stand it, you have two choices. Stop sulking or go talk to him!”

“You don’t understand!”

You quickly realise all the people in the library are staring at you, you duck your head in embarrassment until you hear someone clear their throat behind you. You turn around and see Madam Pince standing with her arms crossed.

“You three out. Now. This is a library show some respect!”

You all scramble to collect your things and rush out of the library. You feel the eyes of students on the back of you head but you didn’t care, anymore.

“Look what you’ve done. I swear (Y/N) if you don’t go talk to him I’ll force you both into our dorm and lock the door until things get sorted.” Says Lily as she angrily walks beside you and Marlene back to the Gryffindor tower.

“You’re the one that started shouting not me.”

“I wouldn’t have to shout if you would just do the right thing.”

“Can you two both stop. Seriously, Lily I agree with you but she won’t do anything she doesn’t want to do.”

“Thank you Marls.”

“I’m not defending you here.”

You roll your eyes at Marlene and the three of you burst out laughing, Lily apologies for shouting at you but you understood her reasoning. At the end of the day things weren’t going to work out between you and Sirius if you didn’t try to fix things.

———————————————————————

You pound your fist at the door rapidly for the third time, on the other side of the door you can hear music playing. Eventually after you’ve knocked so much that your knuckles have swollen the door opens.

“Ah the woman of the hour. What can I do for you m’lady?” James teases

You roll your eyes at him. “Is Sirius here?”

“He is.” James looks over his shoulder back at Sirius. “One second.”

James shuts the door and you stand waiting outside, you hear muffled voices and a few minutes later James opens the door again. “He can’t wait to talk to you. I’ll be in the common room.” James walks out of the door and you walk in, closing it behind you.

“Hi.” You say softly awkwardly standing at the foot of Sirius’ bed.

“What do you want?”

You sigh and think of what to say. “Im sorry.”

“For?”

“You know what for.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell you’ll have to remind me.” You stay silent looking at Sirius waiting for him to crack a smile, but he doesn’t. You forgot how petty he can be. “Go on.”

“Im sorry for saying we’re just friends,”

“…okay.”

“Is that all you’re going to say?”

“There’s nothing else to say.”

“Sirius come on. You know how I feel about you.”

“No actually I don’t. You never ever made an effort to show me, all you wanted to do was fuck and then you’d leave right after.”

“You pushed me away!”

“I was doing what you wanted me to. You said it yourself were only friends there’s nothing between us.”

“No. Don’t do that. I wanted you to tell me to stay, I wanted you to want me. You don’t even like me so why did you write me that poem Sirius?”

He stands up walking towards you. “Because it’s not simple with you (Y/N).”

“What do you mean?”

“All the boys you like are refined and smart. I’m neither of those things.”

“I don’t care if you’re smart!” You gesture with your hands. “You make me laugh Sirius, you make me feel important.”

“Then why didn’t you say that?”

“Because I liked our friendship too much to sabotage that. Plus I never thought you’d actually like me.”

“Bullshit.”

“What?”

“That’s bullshit. I done so much to show you I liked you.”

“Like what?”

“I read those books you like, I listened to the music you like, I listened to you talk about the things that you’re interested in.”

“That’s what friends do Sirius! That has nothing to do with liking me.”

“To me it does.”

“…well I’m sorry. But please stop hating me, I can’t bare it anymore.” Your voice cracked and you eyes welled up.

“I don’t hate you.” He replied softly, taking your hand.

You look down biting your lip as a tear escapes your eyes, Sirius lifts your chin with his hand gently and wipes your tear.

“Im sorry too.”

You let out an airy laugh. “For what? You didn’t do anything.”

“I should’ve heard you out.”

“I understand why you didn’t.” The silence fills the room again, you look up at him your expression soft. “Please give me a chance? I know I was wrong, but I won’t let you down”

Sirius cups your face and kisses you softly, the kiss was intimate and soft. Not like your usual rough and intense kisses. He pulls you in a hand running down your back gently, you slowly pull back.

Suddenly the door cracks open and you look behind you, there stands Lily and James both with smug looks on their faces.

“Finally. Up top Evans?” James puts his hand up for a high five.

“Absolutely not.” Lily rolls her eyes. You look back at Sirius and he cracks a smile. You felt beyond relieved that things are looking up, and the fact that Sirius doesn’t hate you makes everything better.

Lily drags James away and you kiss Sirius again. “You’ve no idea how relieved I am.”

“I think I have an inkling.” Sirius tucks a strand of your hair behind your era. “I love you so much, seriously it’s freighting.”

“Trust me, I understand. I love you too.”

[lady-disdain221b]

art by cutegirlsart, likeafunerall, corwnvus, and vynaura

[wulanvansunshine]

Regulus: I don’t gossip. I hate it. It’s invasive and not my business, why should I care?

Also regulus: guys I heard Mary and Lily hooked up at a party last night, but this morning at breakfast it totally looked like they were avoiding eachother!

[marauders-tiktok-curator]

though i can’t recall your face (another mary obliviating herself edit)

[lulublack90]

Prompt 19 - Twenty-Four Hours to Live

@wolfstarmicrofic May 19, word count 977

CW- Blood, Open Wounds, Threats to life

“Get your affairs in order because this time tomorrow, cub, my boys will be coming for you. And you won’t be leaving wherever it is we track you down to.” Fenrir had hissed at him as he clutched the wound in his stomach, blood slowly dripping onto the gravel beneath their feet. 

Remus had stood straight backed, a look of defiance on his face. He disapparated, leaving the bleeding wolf behind. 

Fenrir had been after him for years. He’d wanted him to join his pack at one point, but now he wanted him dead and Remus had just given him the excuse he needed to send his pack after him, not that Fenrir needed an excuse. 

Remus had no doubt that the pack would catch up with him if he tried to run. There was no hiding from Fenrir’s savage wolves. He was going to face them head on and take as many with them as he could. 

He stared at Sirius, sleeping soundly in their bed. He stopped thinking about the future, concentrating on the now and leaving Sirius with a few good memories of him. They’d be clashing lately and Remus didn’t want to leave it like that. 

He walked around to his side of the bed and got in. He stroked a finger over Sirius’s cheek with a feather light touch. His boyfriend shuffled under the covers. He did it again, this time trailing his finger along his jaw. Sirius’s eyes snapped open, his pupils growing large and very round at the seductive look on Remus’s face. They spent the next few hours tangled amongst the bedsheets. Sirius never asked what had brought it on. 

Remus woke early, Sirius still sleeping, his body draped across Remus’s. He placed a sweet kiss amongst Sirius’s curls and carefully removed himself from their tangled limbs. He fancied having his favourite breakfast. A full Scottish breakfast with all the trimmings. He was just plating up when Sirius emerged from their bedroom, the smell of the cooking meats too enticing.

They sat in comfortable silence at the kitchen table, the only sounds were the moans that slipped from their lips as they devoured their food. 

“Can we go to the bookshop today? Remus asked Sirius as he took his plate from him and dumped them in the sink. He wanted to do all his favourite things one last time. 

“If you want,” Sirius replied, looking at him with a strange expression. “We could go look in the music shop next door after as well,” Sirius added. Remus nodded in agreement. 

“Perfect,” He said. “I’ll hop in the shower, and then we can go.” He smiled as he headed towards the bathroom. He leaned his head backwards as he passed the door frame. “Wanna join me?”

By the time they got out of the house it was past noon. Remus rushed Sirius through the busy streets, wanting to have as much time amongst the books he loved before he ran out of time. 

It smelled just the same as always in the muggle bookshop he frequented. Binding glue and fresh unread pages. He wanted to read them all. He ran his hands over a few tomes and pulled a promising one off the shelf. It was short. He thumbed through the pages. He could probably read it by this evening. He put it back on its shelf. He wanted to spend as much time with Sirius and his friends, and hiding his face in a book wouldn’t let that happen. 

“Can we go see Lily and James after we go next door?” He asked as he picked up another book. 

“Okay,” Sirius replied, his eyes narrowed as he carefully watched Remus. 

They didn’t stay long in the bookshop and spent even less time in the music shop. Sirius bought a couple of new vinyls and that was it. They walked towards an alley and apparated to the Potter's house. Remus grinned at the familiar path to the front door, lined with a rainbow of flowers. 

James greeted them, enveloping Sirius in a bone-crushing hug. He was gentler with Remus, but still squeezed hard. 

They followed him inside to find Lily waiting for them in the sitting room with a tray full of tea and other goodies. 

It was the best day Remus could remember having in a long time. He felt he’d spent his last hours well. The only thing he regretted was leaving Sirius alone.  

The time neared when the pack would arrive. He made his excuses to Sirius, James and Lily, pretending he wanted to go for a walk. He apparated to a meadow and waited. 

The pack didn’t take long to arrive. There were more than Remus had anticipated; at least thirty. He raised his wand, ready to fight. 

“Don’t think that silly stick will help you, Lupin. You know what’s about to happen. Don’t struggle and we’ll make it quick. You harm any of my pack, and I’ll personally make sure your death is dragged out over days.” Daniel, Fenrir’s second in command sneered at him. Remus cast a slicing charm, the same one he’d used on Fenrir when he’d cornered him last night and watched the wolf drop to his knees, gasping. “Get him!” Daniel roared, and the remaining wolves surged forward. 

Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack!” Sirius, James, Lily, Mary, Marlene, Dorcas and the Prewett twins apparated beside him, making the pack pause. All had their wands raised. 

“How did you know?” Remus croaked out, grateful that Sirius had come to his rescue. 

“You left the bookshop without buying a single book.” Sirius said simply. “So I put a tracking spell on you,” 

Together they made quick work of the pack. 

“I’ve got you, Moony. Always have, always will.” Sirius said boldly, wrapping his arms around him and taking him home.

[petitemistletoe]

Hi i was wondering if you could write something for James Potter x fem!reader already in a relationship. Maybe they’re at a party and some guy makes her uncomfortable and won’t leave her alone and it’s just James being the protective bf he is.

If not don’t worry!!! xx

Title: Protection Charm

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault/harassment, eventual smut

Word Count: 2.3K

A/N: Y'all are real lucky that I've been in a marauders era and have been reading ATYD. Read ATYD here! Feel free to request more from this era!

“But why do I have to go this party?” Remus whined as he took a bite of his eggs. 

“Moony! It’s your birthday party!” Sirius said, looking completely affronted that Remus would ever suggest such a thing. 

“Come on, Remus! We went through all the trouble planning it and inviting everyone and-” James started but Remus cut him off. 

“Wait a minute,” Remus held his hand up and looked at his friends sitting in front of him, “who exactly did you invite?”

“Well…everyone! You’re very popular, Moony.” Peter said with a grin. Remus looked like he was going to blow him top sooner rather than later and you thread your hand through Remus’s arm. 

“What would you like to do for your birthday, Remus?” You asked.

“Get drunk with you lot,” he shrugged. 

“Isn’t that what we’re going to do at the party?” Sirius threaded his fingers through his hair and looked at Remus had just been dropped from space.

“I mean just with us!” Remus shook his head, tearing a piece of toast in half and handing you the bigger piece. 

“How’s this, Remus? The party is happening whether you like it or not so let’s get really pissed tonight and next weekend we can get even more pissed at Hogsmeade.” You suggested, dodging the bigger piece, grabbing the smaller one and spreading a bit of marmalade on it. 

“Fine. But I’m not blowing out any candles.” Remus said, draining his tea and standing up. 

“Where are you off to?” James asked. 

“Have to turn in an essay to Binns. Told him I’d get it to him first thing in the morning.”

“See you later, Remus,” you called to the lanky marauder. 

“Cheers love,” Remus gave you a quick peck on the cheek before disappearing from the great hall. 

“Now hold on a second,” Sirius started and you only knew that he’d begin with the dramatics, “why on Earth does Moony get to kiss your girlfriend?” Sirius turned his head sharply to face James. 

“I’m a person!” You protested lightly. 

“Remus is like her older brother. I also don’t control what she does,” James shrugged, moving closer to you so he could put his arm around you.

“So can I kiss her?” Sirius asked James. 

“Still a person!” You rolled your eyes. 

“No. Remus is an older brother. You’re a dog, Sirius.” James rolled his eyes and tightened his arm around you. 

“Are you jealous, Mr. Potter?” You said with mock shock.

“Not jealous, just making sure you don’t get fleas from Padfoot.” James laughed, dodging the piece of bacon that Sirius had flung at James’s head. 

Classes always seemed to take longer when a marauder’s party was scheduled to follow. You promised that you and Remus could have a little dinner just the two of you so you snuck off to Hogsmeade for a quick dinner of pub food and butterbeer at the three broomsticks before the party. 

“Listen I know you said you wouldn’t blow out any candles but,” you pulled out a cupcake with a single candle in the middle. 

“God I’m glad James is dating you,” Remus said, blowing out the candle and cutting the cupcake in half. He handed the larger half to you, which you refused because there was no way you were going to allow Remus to have the smaller half of a cupcake on his own birthday. 

“You’re such a sweetheart,” you said with a grin. 

“Don’t tell the boys but if you and James ever break up, I’m on your side.” Remus smiled. You walked back to the Gryffindor common room with Remus’s arm around your shoulders. The common room erupted with cheers with the guest of honor entered and Remus sent you a bewildered look. 

“Firewhiskey?” You asked him. 

“Definitely,” he nodded as Mary, Lily, and Marlene cornered him and started peppering him with ‘birthday pecks’. You could see James and Sirius playing beer pong and by the sound of their cheers it seemed like they were winning. You poured Remus a strong glass of firewhiskey and then a glass for yourself when you felt a hand on the small of your back. You knew Remus was still cornered by the girls, you could hear James and Sirius at the pong table, and you could see Peter sneaking off with some girl in Hufflepuff. So who’s hand was on your back? You turned to see an attractive seventh year Slytherin, Lucius Malfoy, grin down at you. 

“Hi darling, who’s the other drink for?” 

“Hi Lucius,” you shrugged Lucius’s hand off and stepped away so you were facing him, “the other drink is for Remus.”

“Oh of course, the man of the hour,” Lucius sounded like he was making his voice extra sultry. 

“Surprised to see you here. Didn’t think you were a fan of Gryffindor parties.” You said cautiously. 

“I’d never turn down an opportunity to see you, love. I do have a question for you, though.” Lucius’s finger hooked under your chin so you made eye contact with him. 

“Alright?”

“Are you dating Lupin?”

“Remus? Oh no-”

“Excellent,” Lucius leaned down and kissed you rather forcefully. You put your hands on his chest and pushed him back. 

“Lucius. I’m dating James,” you didn’t want to make a scene but Lucius’s grip on your arms was pretty tight and he gave no indication that he was going to let go. You glanced back at James but he was currently absorbed in making Sirius drink from one of those funnels that Mary had brought back from the muggle world. 

“I don’t see him around.” Lucius said, leaning his head down to kiss you again. His lips were against yours but you didn’t kiss him back. 

“Let me go Lucius, I’m serious,” you said, trying to pull yourself away. 

“Come on now, don’t be a bitch,” Lucius said, his grip tight on your wrists. You were beginning to panic when you felt Lucius pull away from you. You looked up in time to see James punch Lucius right in the jaw. 

“What the fuck, Potter?” Lucius said, holding his jaw with one hand and pulling out his wand with the other. 

“Get away from her, Malfoy. Get out of Gryffindor tower before I hex you,” James said, positioning himself in front of you. 

“Not if I hex you first,” Lucius said, hissing out a curse. James was ready with his own but Remus yelled, 

“Expelliarmus!” Remus snatched both James and Lucius’s wands, “Now you two are making me exercise my prefect duties on my own birthday. Detention for you both. Malfoy get the fuck out of here.” 

“Fuck off, Lupin.” Malfoy said, clearly not thrilled at the idea of returning to the dungeons with a bruised ego and a bruised jaw. 

Peter and Sirius were struggling to hold James back and you heard Sirius hiss at his brother Regulus, 

“If you’ve ever done anything good for me ever in your life you will get Malfoy out of here right now.”

Regulus was not going to disagree and along with a few other Slytherins, they hauled Malfoy out of Gryffindor tower. 

“Let’s do a round of shots!” Sirius said with a grin. He had no intention of letting the party halt because of some interhouse drama. James turned and wrapped you in his arms, 

“Are you okay?”

“Let’s get out of here.” You said shakily. James nodded and you both slipped out of Gryffindor tower. James’s wand was raised just in case you ran into Malfoy again but it seemed that Regulus had made sure that Malfoy didn’t linger. He lead you to the astronomy tower where you sat on the edge with your legs dangling and shared a cigarette. 

The energy between you was uneasy, uncomfortable. James was obviously still upset with Malfoy but was trying to keep calm for you. You were still processing Malfoy’s disgusting behavior. You couldn’t help yourself, though, and you started to laugh. Little chuckles at first but then full belly laughs and finally you were doubled over trying to catch your breath as James stared at you. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He finally asked, after pulling you by the forearm after you almost toppled over the edge of the tower which only made you laugh harder. 

“You were jealous,” you giggled, your hands clasped firmly over your mouth. 

“I-” James started but he too started to see the humor in it and he started to laugh too. 

“How’s your hand?” You asked, picking up James’s left hand and examining his knuckles. There were bluish bruises forming already and you knew he’d probably need to go to the hospital wing in the morning. 

“It’s fine. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked. You let out a weak chuckle and nodded. 

“Yeah. Thank you for…you know.” You said with a smile. 

“Of course, love. I’ll always be here for you,” James practically whispered. You brought his bruised knuckles up to your lips and kissed them lightly. You kissed around his hand and then on the sides of his fingers and then you slid one of James’s long fingers into your mouth. James took in a sharp breath and watched you, mesmerized, as you slid your tongue around his digits. James let out a strangled moan when he saw how deep his fingers stretched down your throat. You released his fingers softly and looked up at him with doe eyes. James’s eyes were lust blown and he was looking at you while breathing very hard. 

“Come here,” he pulled you towards him and kissed you hard, his hands knotted in your hair as he practically consumed you. He was starving and you were his last meal. He kissed down your jaw and down your neck before coming back up to your lips. 

“We should have sex,” you panted. James nodded. 

“Yeah definitely.”

“I don’t think I can make it back to the dormitory,” you shook your head. 

“No, I can’t either.”

“You got an Outstanding in transfiguration right?”

“Yeah,” James looked at you like you had grown another head for talking about school at a time like this.

“Then transfigure these desks into a bed.” You said, your fingers fumbling with his belt buckle. 

“Oh! Yeah, fuck…yeah.” James nodded, throwing his sweater somewhere across the room.  He was fumbling in his pockets for his wand and you sunk to your knees, pulling his wand out of his pocket and handing it to him before pulling his cock out of his underwear and putting it in your mouth. 

“Oh my god,” James gasped, one hand on the brick wall of the tower. You let the head of James’s cock brush the back of your throat before you made eye contact with him and pulled away. 

“James, the bed,” you grinned before leaning down and taking one of his balls in your mouth while jerking him off.

“In my defense,” he said in a strained voice, “it’s a little hard to focus.” James was able to transfigure the desks into some sort of futon before letting out a strangled moan and saying “please stop before I cum in your mouth.”

You stood up and took your shirt and bra and dusted your knees off before reclining back on the futon. 

“Are you going to fuck me?” You asked, spreading your legs and pulling down your underwear. James watched with pure shock and adoration as you let your panties dangle on an outstretched foot before letting it drop to the ground. 

“Yes, yes! Absolutely.” James nodded, diving onto the futon and burying his face in your pussy. His lips immediately attached to your clit as he maneuvered three fingers inside you. James kissed you deeply before you broke away from his lips and moaned into his open mouth. 

“Fuck, don’t stop I’m going to cum.” You panted. James grinned and if you had been able to open your eyes you would’ve seen how embarrassingly fogged up James’s glasses were. He was also rutting against the edge of the futon and moaning into your own mouth. Your fingers wrapped around his wrist as you rode his hand into your orgasm. You barely had a moment to come down from it before James was fully ripping your skirt off and pushing himself inside of you. 

“I learned-” James could barely get two words out through his moans and you had to take a minute to wipe the inside of his glasses so you could actually see his eyes, “-a charm hold on a minute.” James stayed inside you as he reached over your head for his wand again. He mumbled something and pointed his wand at one of the crystal balls. The ball shot itself into James’s outstretched hand and transformed into a rapidly vibrating clitoral stimulator. James pressed it against your clit and you dug your nails into his bicep. 

“Where on earth did you learn a charm like that?” You gasped, feeling a second orgasm coming on. 

“Moony is a genius,” James said, before practically screaming, “I’m going to cum!” 

You could nod as you came, nearly sobbing and moaning. James came too, moaning loudly and resting his forehead against yours. You pushed the vibrator away and took a few minutes to breathe laying back while letting James rest his head on your chest. 

“So wait a second,” you said once you and James were able to restore your heart rates to a normal BPM. 

“What is it?” James looked adorably goofy with his glasses all fogged up again and you took them off and wiped them. 

“What do you mean Remus taught you that charm?”

“He’s a man of many talents,” James said with a shrug. 

“He deserves a much better birthday party then.” 

[saintchaser]

who is mary macdonald, really?

because there can't be only what she shows. it can't be all sunshine and kindness and love and fierceness. it can't be only the cherry red lips and the eyes traced with jet black kohl and her hips swaying to rhythms. it can't be only curly, black hair and loud laughs, can it?

it's a broken relationship with her father, and her side of the family picture is barely put together still, with tape that her mother had taken the time to put on the back of the picture, almost as if she could keep her family together that way.

who is mary macdonald, really?

and still, she's still there, holding on to tiny pieces, tiny figments of love that she and her father had once had. she's holding on to little figments of her friends, putting them into a box in case the war washes all of them away from the shore, they'd have one last memory together, one last memory they could go back to, a warm closure.

and in her bones, she could feel it. she could feel her old friends, slowly slipping away from each other. she could hear their screams of agony, shouting over each other, and slowly falling apart. she could feel them fighting for their lives. she could hear them losing.

oh, who is mary macdonald?

her tickets were shoved in the worn-out rucksack that sirius had gifted to her in her sixth year. she contemplated whether breaking her wand, separating herself from an old life that seemed so far away, and keeping it tucked deep within, keeping their memory burning.

she started a new life. and when she met new people, naturally, they asked for her story. asked her where she was from, and asked her things. things that would always haunt her; she would never escape her past, their voices in her head, their laughs echoing somewhere deep within her. in the pit of her belly, in her arms, in the flow of her blood, they were everywhere. they would always be.

who was mary macdonald, if she wasn't who she pretended to be?