#maybe I’ll write about it 🤔🤔🤔

[legendoflozer]

Been thinking about Wars having a cottage in the woods

[vampire-scones]

I think, given the chance, Billy would absolutely drag Max to every single concert he went to. Sure it’s fun going to a concert and hooking up with guys or trying to weasel his way into backstage, but it pays off a whole lot more when he sees Max’s eyes go wide the first time she sees Motley Crue play.

When she feels the rumble or drums in her chest and gets her ears filled by shrill sounds of the guitar solo.

And he feels a bit of pride when he sees her mouthing or screaming along to songs she knows because she has heard them so many times in Billy’s car. And he sees the moment it clicks for her that, hey, this is pretty fucking cool.

Before the show, before every show they go to he gets her a patch from that band. Because he knows she won’t hang up the posters and she doesn’t really wear band shirts. So he gets her patches and buttons and maybe she doesn’t put them on anything for a while, because that’s not her style. But she still loves them just the same.

And it reminds her that in the end, Billy will always be there for her. That when the ground gets too rambunctious she can squeeze on his arm and he’ll pull her in front of him. Or if a weirdo is over stepping a boundary he will be the first one to throw a punch. Because at the end of the day, it’s the both of them against the world.

[ashipiko]

SELF INSERT QUESTION GO!!! if ashi was to be mischaracterized or headcanoned what do you think it would be for?? :0

GOOD QUESTION??? 🫶 heyheys again tho alexis ITS BEEN SO FUN SEEING YOU IN MY INBOX LATELY!!! 😭😭 also didn’t realize I wasn’t following you yet…….? HEYHEY MOOTIE

🤔🤔 ashi mischaracterization…….. went on a rant on this fandom issue w my friends pretty recently but I think she’d fall under the same mistake of very similar character archetypes getting mixed up? YOU MIGHTVE SIGNED UP FOR AN ASHI ANALYSIS/RANT. MY BAD

BUT BASICALLY, characters who have a front/mask to hide their traits they don’t want to show often fit into two categories; characters who enhance traits they already have and isolate the traits they want to hide (in this case this is what ashi IS) and characters who create an entirety different identity separate from their “real selves” (like mafuyu from prsk if you’re familar. this conflict is pretty apparent when considering mafukasa parallels)

🤔 and often in fanon I feel as if the first type of character is mistaken for the latter, causing them to be casted as a more depressed or more analytical chara then they canonically are. i’ve seen it happen w kazunari from a3! and tsukasa from prsk so I feel like it’d only be inevitable w ashi? considering that her character works in similar ways to them……… because she’s not pulling traits from other people or completely forming a new identity, just enhancing the traits she already has and letting them shine instead of the traits she considers to be bad. she could NOT handle a lie that big!!!! THAT WAS A LOT I APOLOGIZE!!!!! 😭😭😭

UM. AS A SIMPLER ONE I FEEL LIKE SHE’D BE HEADCANONED TO LIKE SWEETS A LOT when in reality she can BARELY handle them at all. tehepero

[soft-serve-soymilk]

on a related note: awwwwwww fuck, I spent 5 months designing Cynthia’s fake magical girl outfit, what about her REAL one 😭😭😭

[upsideoutinsidedown]

Sometimes, I like to think about the “I didn’t say it/You didn’t have to” line. Like, they can read each other so well they don’t have to speak to get their thoughts across, and what that could mean if Mike routinely denied what Will was picking up.

Like, Mike always treating Will specially. Always willing and wanting to hang out. Enjoying the same things: DND, comics, Star Wars. Maybe even Mike’s bourgeoning feelings for Will, Will would pick up on. But Mike spent all of season three rejecting that. Will reads that Mike still likes DND but Mike shoots back they’re too old for it. Will reads that Mike would like to hang out but Mike keeps bemoaning not being with Eleven. And, after a decade of reading his tells, Will thinks he’s figured Mike out pretty well. But with Mike repeatedly telling him he’s wrong…

Well, he would start second guessing. He may read Mike perfectly, but he’ll not be as confident with his findings. Because he’s wrong, Mike told him he’s wrong, he clearly got his wires crossed somewhere, but Mike? Mike never had to deal with that rejection from Will. Will never told him he read him wrong, so he still thinks they can still communicate with simple glances or nudged shoulders, whereas Will is unsure whether or not he’s got it right and needs it to be confirmed for him.

Anyways, I’m not saying that Mike would 100% believe that he and Will confessed their mutual feelings to each other with a held glance while Will is left completely unawares, but I’m not not saying that.

[juniperhillpatient]

it’s funny how Sidney reminds me of Katara & Sam reminds me of Azula (in some ways. in some ways. ok) I wouldn’t consider shipping Sidney & Sam ‘cause….. idk I just wouldn’t but I have noticed these random parallels. it’s cause Katara & Azula give off final girl vibes but in totally different ways lol

[neopuppy]

Bestfriend Jeno who invades readers privacy and goes through her computer filled with videos of ykyk💀

warnings. errrhhmmm🤔 masturbation, yeah..

“Damn, he really did a number on your phone.” Jeno’s fingers drag down the shatter of cracks distorting your screen, neck ticking to the side. “I can definitely fix it though.”

“You can?”

“Yeah, I worked at one of those phone repair kiosks a couple summers ago, these screens cost a fortune to get fixed you know? I have a lot of leftover supplies, can probably find something in my stash that will fit.” He informs, patting your shoulder. “Means you’ll have to be disconnected all day though, is that okay?”

“I guess, have some lectures to get through and a group project to finish so I’ll be at the library most of the day if anything.”

“Alright, write down your passcode and maybe your apple log in just in case.” Jeno nods to a notebook, grabbing a pen to hand you.

“Why the log in?” You hesitate, eyeing your phone nervously.

Jeno shrugs, holding your phone out to you. “I only want to help, I know you’re kind of down on your luck right now. I understand if you want to be around when I fix it but today’s one of my only free days for the rest of the week, so..”

“No no, it’s fine.” You sigh, pushing the phone back toward him. “I might be back late, don’t know how long this meeting with my group will take. If you could leave my phone on DND? I’ll probably still be texting from my laptop.”

“Yeah, not a problem.” Jeno nods to his notebook, smiling as you scribble down your passcode and password. “I’ll get this all fixed up for you, free of charge.”

“I’ll have to repay you somehow..”

“What are friends for?” He laughs, motioning to the living room area scattered with your belongings. “Shit happens..”

“Thanks Jeno, everything you guys have done for me..” trailing off, you murmur shyly. “I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you and Jaemin for helping me out like this.”

“Don’t worry about it, focus on school.”

After bidding you goodbye and good luck with your project, Jeno moves to his bedroom, whistling to himself as he traces down the largest crack on your phone screen. “Gosh, what a dick..”

He didn’t ask what the fight was about, the timing didn’t feel right with you sniffling as he and Jaemin helped you carry your belongings in. He never liked your boyfriend much anyway, or well, ex-boyfriend..

Jeno boiled it down to jealousy at times, whenever he’d have to witness the unfortunate public displays of affection between the two of you. It’s not that he likes you, not necessarily.. but your friendship hadn’t exactly stemmed from genuine interest in forming a platonic relationship. It just so happened that while he had one idea, your mind had already honed in and focused on another.

“Eh, I always knew he wasn’t right for you.” Jeno mumbles to himself, tapping your phone screen to the image of your now ex-boyfriend’s lips squished against your cheek. “Gross.”

Jeno gets to it, unwrapping a new razor to begin removing the old screen topper first and see the real damage. Lucky for you, he’d gifted you a durable screen protector when you’d gotten a new phone. Great for dropping, not so much for a crazy boyfriend hurling it at a wall though.

He’s pleased to see the damage is a lot more minor under the protector, mentally patting himself on the back for handling that for you in the first place. A text pops up lighting the bare screen. “Oh right, do not disturb.”

Jeno taps in the passcode, swiping down to turn off notifications only to come to a pause as another text comes in.

‘It’s easy money, I did it my first year of college to cover rent, and you're shit out of luck at this point if you think a dorm will open up this far into the semester.’

He knows he shouldn’t, but there’s no way you’d find out anyway..

‘Isn’t that prostitution?’

The last text sent from you has his eyes going wide, quickly reading through the chat between you and the name he recognizes as your best friends, the same one whose car Jaemin had found you using as a makeshift home..

‘It’s not illegal in our state, and it’s anonymous. You won’t get caught or anything. Trust me, I worked there for 11 months, best money I’ve ever made.’

Jeno mumbles a ‘what the fuck.’ To himself, opening his phone to copy down the address she sends in next.

‘Besides, what difference does it make? You were getting fucked by your asshole ex on stream for way less.’

“What?!” Jeno looks around in shock, covering his mouth in case someone else is home. An arsenal of unanswered questions race through his mind, swiping to put your phone on ‘do not disturb’ finally as he takes a deep breath to calm down.

“There’s no way..” he chuckles, licking his lips nervously as he taps open your photos and scrolls until a locked album named ‘delete’ catches his eye.

Jeno spent a year learning different ways to break into stolen phones with not even a passcode to assist, the thrill of unknown has his thumb punching away before he can even talk himself out of it. Not that he would..

Why wouldn’t you immediately delete photos or videos you wouldn’t want anyone to see anyway? You can’t be that stupid..

“Oh shit.”

You are that stupid.

Jeno groans, leaning back in his computer chair as he slowly scrolls through the album of over 1000 photos and videos, most consisting of topless shots. More scandalous as he reaches the middle and sucks in a deep breath reading the time on the first video he sees.

Eight minutes and twenty seven seconds..

Patting around for his headphones, he plugs them in and opens the video up to hit play, sinking deeper into his seat as your face appears half-fucked out with dreamy eyes and saliva wet lips.

The deeper familiar voice he recognizes as your ex’s comes through, making his stomach tighten. “Fuck.”

‘How can you ask me for more after I just fucked you full?’

‘Please daddy, n-need more.’

The camera runs down your bare body, laid back against dark sheets with your thighs hoisted up and open; panning down to where white streaks of cum paint your stomach and mound. ‘Feel that? My dicks still so hard.’

‘Keep fucking me, don’t stop fucking me. Fuck that cum deep inside of me.’

Jeno pants, short of breath as he digs the heel of his palm against his groin and groans. Fuck fuck fuck… he knew it. The past few years of having to pretend he valued your friendship more than his desire to fuck you, he always knew you were nothing but a pathetic sobbing whore. The sound of your sobs and aroused whines vibrating through his ears has him ready to make a mess, smoothing in past the waistband of his sweats to free his length, he’s thankful for the point of view shot; making it easy to tune out the masculine grunts passing between your pretty cries.

‘Fuck. I’ll breed you better than that.’ Jeno voices to himself, surprised your lazy ex didn’t make you get on top. The amount of cum covering your lower half has his hips jumping from the chair, eager to fuck into his fist faster.

One thought continues to pass through his mind as he grips around his cock and strokes to match the pace pushing you up and down along the screen.

He needs to fuck you.

[sachikokuroichi]

Hurt!Lucifer is always making me feel complicated things - seeing a powerful being injured… kinda like it tbh 🙈

Alastor catching Lucifer, supporting and embracing him, holding his hand 😍 - Lucifer, holding onto him with his tail 😭 - it’s perfect 🥰

You see, I now realize that I never asked if there’s a headcanon for that piece - if she imagined a certain scene behind it 🤔

That gash is pretty deep… and wide… maybe from a certain… guitar-weapon? Maybe gained by protecting a certain someone? 🤭

Okay, please ignore me, this is just me theorizing about it - maybe I’ll write a FF for it someday 😊

[moonstruckme]

OOOOH Can i hop on the dr!rem train?!?! I would love to see how he is with someone who just doesn’t really take care of themselves. Like if something’s hurting they just power through. But of course he’s a dr so he’d know 🤔🤔💕💕💕💕

Ofc you can! This is precisely what I need him for haha. Also, when I wrote this my foot was still really hurting and now it feels tons better, so I think writing for him is healing me! Thanks for requesting my love <3

Doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

Remus looks up from his laptop when you hold a bowl of pasta up in front of him enticingly. “Aw, thanks, sweetheart,” he says, taking it from you. He’s been so caught up in his paperwork he hadn’t even heard you bustling around in the kitchen, but you’d been thoughtful enough to bring him his dinner on the couch rather than call him to the table. “You’re too good to me. I’ll be finished here in a minute.” 

“It’s no problem,” you say with a smile. “Oh, I forgot I made you tea, too. Just a second.” 

You go back towards the kitchen, and Remus thinks to go back to his laptop for the interval of your absence, but something about the way you’re moving catches his attention. You’re walking oddly, shifting an almost imperceptible amount of your weight to one side. It’s not quite a limp, but there’s a stiffness there. 

You disappear into the kitchen for half a second, and Remus watches you carefully when you return. Your strides are as quick as if nothing were amiss, but there’s definitely something bothering you. It doesn’t look like the problem is in your foot, or your knee, but maybe your hip…

You pass him the tea, and Remus takes it quickly, chiding you for holding the hot part to pass him the handle. You roll your eyes as you sit, constantly discounting what you consider to be your boyfriend’s overcaution. You never worry about yourself, Remus thinks. Everything that happens to you is secondary, of little concern compared to whatever’s going on with everyone else. You don’t watch out for yourself, and you don’t always welcome others doing it for you either. It makes being someone who loves you an occasionally worrying task. 

“How was your day, dovey?” Remus asks, shutting his laptop to enjoy the meal you’ve prepared for him. “I’ve been so focussed on work I’ve barely talked to you since I got home. How are you doing?” 

Your smile is tinged with bemusement, but they’re not such odd questions as to draw much suspicion. “Don’t worry about it, I know it’s important stuff. I’m good, honey, how are you?”

“I’m good too,” he says, twirling pasta around his fork and inhaling the steamy aroma of the herbs you’ve mixed in. “Fantastic, now.” You blush, looking down at your own bowl. “Do much walking around today?” 

Now your brows furrow, and you bring your fork to your mouth, chewing pensively. “Some,” you answer after a while. “Why do you ask?”

“I just noticed you’re walking a bit funny,” he says as casually as he can, knowing too much attention will only lead to you belittling more than you’re already inclined. “Is there something bothering you, love?”

“Oh, yeah,” you say, looking back to your bowl as though forking your pasta suddenly requires your undivided attention. “Think I twinged something in my leg earlier. It’s not bad, it’s just one of those things, you know? I’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll be fine.” 

It takes a heap of willpower to keep Remus from rolling his eyes. That’s your go-to reaction anytime something’s bothering you: power through and hope it goes away on its own. As someone who knows better, it nettles him incessantly. “Why didn’t you say something earlier? I might be able to help.” 

“Because it’s not a big deal,” you say through a mouthful. “Anyway, you were busy.” 

“Never too busy for you,” he hums, setting down his plate to lean closer to you, and fine, he’s pandering. If making light of this is what’s going to get you to let him help, that’s what he’ll do. “Let me have a look?” he asks you sweetly.

You look at him, sucking a stray noodle into your mouth. “What, now?” 

“Sure,” he says, already moving to perch on the coffee table across from you. “Just to make sure that it’s fine and I don’t need to run to the drug store before it closes or anything.”

You sigh like you’re doing him a big favor. “Okay, but it’s really not bad. You don’t need to worry.” 

He hums noncommittally. “Straighten your leg out for me?” You do, and he takes your foot in his hand. “What part hurts, dove?” 

“Kinda, like—” You strain to lift one hip off the couch, touching the back of your thigh, “—like, all down here, ish.” 

Remus cocks his head. “Does it hurt when you flex your foot?” 

“A little,” you reply, nonchalant. 

He nods, standing. “Okay, I think I get the picture,” he says. “Lay down for me, please?”

You give him a deadpan look. “Rem, I’m just trying to eat.” 

“It’ll only take a second.” 

With an eye-roll that you make sure he sees, you set your plate down next to his on the coffee table, laying on your back. Remus sits by your feet, lifting one of your calves so he can see the back of your thigh. He runs a knuckle over the skin there, noticing it’s a bit more swollen than your other leg. “Here?” he asks you.

“Yeah.” 

Remus laughs silently at the sudden tight quality to your voice, thinking he knows the cause. He takes a detour to test his theory, migrating his touch further down until his knuckle skims the crease of your buttcheek. 

“Careful,” you murmur, tone slightly teasing. 

Remus tries and fails to suppress his grin as he forces himself back on task. “It looks like it’s your hamstring,” he says. “It’s a bit more swollen, but in a lot of cases there’ll be bruising too, and I don’t see any of that. Do you remember when you hurt it?” 

“Mhm.”

Remus decides not to question you further on that for now; he’ll lecture you on telling him these things more quickly later. “Did you hear any sort of popping noise?”

“No,” you say, sounding unsure. “I think I would’ve noticed, right?”

“You would have,” Remus reassures you, relieved. “It’s probably just a pulled muscle, then. I’m going to test it really quickly to be sure, okay?”

“Okay,” you say warily, and Remus has you flex your foot, taking your leg in both hands as he straightens it and lifts it upward. You hiss, and he stops. 

“That hurts?” 

“Yeah.” Your voice is tight again, now for the wrong reasons, and Remus lowers your leg carefully. 

“Alright, sorry.” He kisses your knee. “Well, at least it shouldn’t take too long to heal. I’ll get you an ice pack when we’re done eating, and I want you to elevate it and take ibuprofen.” 

You sit up, clearly ready for your boyfriend’s mollycoddling to be over as you grab for your bowl. “Already am,” you say with a smile that Remus supposes is meant to be reassuring. Instead, he frowns.

“Sweetheart.” He gives you an admonishing look. “You were taking painkillers for this and you weren’t going to tell me about it?” 

“Don’t be mad at me,” you say lightly. “I made you pasta.” 

Now it’s Remus who’s sighing laboriously, pressing a reluctant kiss to the side of your head. “I suppose that does make up for everything, doesn’t it?”

[cutielando]

the last social media au was so cute!! maybe one where george’s gf is a famous romance book author and when they make the relationship public his friends cannot believe posh “arms against the wall 2023 intro package pose” george could be the inspiration for all the smutty scenes his gf is famous for (only if your comfortable of course!)

romance is in her books | g.r.

social media au

my masterlist

Instagram

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yourusername working on something very special 🌸

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booklover101 YAS BITCHES WE'RE GETTING A NEW BOOK!!!!!

chillypeppers Y/N on her way to releasing yet another banger😮‍💨😮‍💨

zendaya what u cooking bby?😉💞

yourusername something with an extra bit of spice🥵

user1 is nobody else wondering who she's writing the *explicit* scenes about?

user2 lol she most probably has a boyfriend or something

user3 or maybe she's just like any other young woman lmao

lilymhe i'm literally obsessed with the way you write🤤

yourusername thank you baby. i'll let you in on a secret later for this ;)

user4 we all want to be lily right now :((((

landonorris do you ever run out of things to write?

yourusername not really, no

lilyzneimer the book is coming along beautifully ❤️

yourusername thank you honey✨🌸❤️

oscarpiastri did you give her a sneak peek??????????

yourusername ...maybe

oscarpiastri deeply betrayed

georgerussell63 my beautiful girl this comment has been deleted

user5 GEORGE????????

user6 IS GEORGE THE SECRET BOYFRIEND?????

charles_leclerc can't wait to read it

yourusername you’re just like one of the girlies charlie 🌸🌸🌸

user2 the amount of money i spend on her books is so unhealthy but i don’t care. TAKE ALL MY MONEY BABY 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

user3 is it a stand-alone or is the new book going to be part of a series?👀

yourusername i’m planning a new series soon, but my next release is going to be a stand-alone 🌸

user4 i love her, she is the sweetest 🥰🥰

iMessage

george 🩵

i might have just fucked up

y/n ❤️

you're hopeless

george 🩵

do you think people saw the comment?

y/n ❤️

judging by the way my phone has been blowing up, i think they have

george 🩵

i'm sorry, my love

y/n ❤️

it's okay, don't worry. now we can mess with the fans for a bit ;)

Twitter

Instagram

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yourusername “racing hearts” is now yours, my lovelies. this book holds a very dear place in my heart and i hope that it will speak to you like it spoke to me when i first started writing it. thank you to everyone who came to the book signing yesterday, you make my life all that more special ✨❤️🌸💞

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georgerussell63 beautiful book, who were you thinking about when you wrote it?🤔

yourusername you know, just a random Brit

georgerussell63 must be one hell of a guy to get a book of his own

yourusername he really is

zendaya you have outdone yourself once again. reading your books has become a MUST ✨✨✨

yourusername thank you honey 💞💞💞

landonorris you went wild again, didn’t you?

yourusername i might have

landonorris do i even wanna read it?

yourusername honestly? probably not

lilyzneimer it’s even better than what i thought 💞

yourusername i always have a trick or two up my sleeve 😉🌸

charles_leclerc someone should censor you

yourusername where would be the fun in that?

charles_leclerc how does your manager approve of this?

yourmanager i’m one of the girlies 🌸

charles_leclerc that explains it

booklover101 THE WAY I SCREAMED WHILE READING IT HAS ME INSANE

booklover101 YOU DESERVE EVERY AWARD IN THE WHOLE WORLD

chillypepper i have no words. i said it before and i’ll say it again. she is the best author of her generation

user1 never beating the dating allegations now

user2 she literally named her main character RUSSELL, HOW DO PEOPLE STILL THINK HER AND GEORGE AREN’T DATING??????

user3 George is the luckiest man in the world😭😭

user4 he must really rock your world if those scenes are anything like the real thing

yourusername you have no idea 🤭

mercedesamgf1 I couldn't put it down. Amazing work, Y/N!!

yourusername thank you admin 🌸💞💞

liked by yourusername, lilyzneimer and 601,583 others

georgerussell63 Words can't describe how proud I am of you. The way you connect with your readers, the way you give life to every story you write never ceases to amaze me. I'm thankful to be able to watch you do your thing, watch you inspire so many young writers to chase their dreams. I love you 💞 P.S. Yes, I am the inspiration behind the sexy scenes ;) tagged: yourusername

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yourusername your support means everything to me. thank you for always being here for me, helping me through my writer's block and cheering me on. i love you more than you know💞🌸

georgerussell63 i love you more❤️

landonorris i know way too much about your personal life now, mate

georgerussell63 jealous?

landonorris as if

yourusername don't fight boys, what would Russell and Brendan think about you two fighting?

landonorris BRENDAN IS ME?????????

yourusername oops👀

user1 i am in love with their love😮‍💨❤️

user2 going to jump off a cliff, brb

user3 i cannot believe i know stuff about George Russell's sex life👀

user4 George's? HOW ABOUT OUR PRECIOUS LITTLE Y/N'S?

alex_albon simp

georgerussell63 how can i not be? just look at Y/N

yourusername baby����💞❤️🌸

alex_albon you two make me sick. i preferred it when you weren't public

georgerussell63 and i preferred it when you shut up

lilymhe we are all in love with Y/N ✨❤️👀

yourusername but you’re the one who has my heart baby 💞💞

georgerussell63 ?????????

yourusername sorry babe 😁💞

mercedesamgf1 Our favorite couple!❤️ liked by yourusername and georgerussell63

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[k4marina]

bruce wayne x fem!reader || smau

pt. 2 of this :)

pt. 1

pt. 3

———

brucewayne

liked by yourusername and 21,304,272 others

brucewayne just going to leave this here

yourusername bruce- 😭😭😭😭

brucewayne what? 🤷‍♂️

user PLS WHAT IS THIS

user is that y/n’s face on his mug??? 😭😭

brucewayne custom made

user plsss 😭😭

user this man is WHIPPED

liked by yourusername and brucewayne

yourusername

liked by brucewayne and 20,364,208 others

yourusername ENGAGEMENT PARTYYYY 🥂🍾

tagged: brucewayne, racheldawes, & harveydent

racheldawes had such a blast you and bruce!!

harveydent thank you for gracing our engagement party with your presence 🙇‍♂️

yourusername ofc anything for the common people 💁‍♀️

brucewayne the prettiest 🤍

yourusername mwa 💋

user look at her dresssss 😍😍😍

user ikr 😭

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yourusername posted a story 42 minutes ago

user1 replied PLS DONT RELL ME WHAT I THINK THIS MEANS 🙏😭😭

user2 replied girl say sike rn 😨

user3 DID U AND BRUCE BRAKE UP?????

user4 nononononknono u can’t do this. u can’t post smt like this and expect us to be calm U NEED TO EXPLAIN 😭😭

yourusername

liked by racheldawes and 22,293,108 others

yourusername life as of late 🙃

user WTF DOES “🙃” MEAN ???? 😭😭

user guys bruce didn’t like this post 😀

user maybe he’s busy 😭😭😭 (i’m delulu)

user noooo they broke up 😭😭

user it’s not confirmed, they still follow each other and have each others photos up

user but they also haven’t confirmed that they’re still together 😭😭

user if u and bruce brake up i’m going to be the next joker 😐

user frr 😭😭

user if they brake up then loves not real

brucewayne

liked by racheldawes and 23,193,028 others

brucewayne only thing that matters

user NO NONONONK WHY DIDNT SHE LIKE THIS POST

user bruce how could u fumble y/n???? 😭😭

user no fr she’s smart AND hot?? homie had it all 😭😭

user pls say sike if this is a prank then it’s not funny anymore 😭

user guys i think it’s time we admit the fact they’re not together anymore 😔

user SHUTTHEFUCKUP 😭

user nope not going to boooooooo

user no we’re not (i’m delulu)

yourusername

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yourusername this place is like 18193819203x bigger than my last place

user IS THAT WAYNE MANOR ⁉️

user 🔊BRUCE WAYNE HAA LIKED THIS POST I REPEAT BRUCE WAYNE HAS LIKED THIS POST🔊

user what does this mean??? 😵‍💫😵‍💫

user pls tell me you’re still together otherwise i’ll kms 😭😭😭😭

brucewayne

liked by yourusername and 23,139,730 others

brucewayne you guys really thought i’d let her go?

ps. it was her idea to be dramatic about her moving in

yourusername 🙈🙈

yourusername sryyyy just wanted to have some fun

user U HEARTLESS WOMEN 😭😭

user WAR IS OVER 🙏🙏

user pls don’t ever do that again, i almost had a heart attack 😭

user ya’ll know damn well that these two were giggling and kicking their feet while we were out here dying 💀💀

yourusername posted a story 1 hr ago.

[caption: my forever 🤍]

___

thinking abt writing another brucewayne x reader fic 🤔

[hayleythesugarbowl]

Omg if possible, could you do more Spencer with the fake insta stuff 😩😍😍 I’m absolutely loving it!!!

Dropping Hints || Spencer Agnew x reader (social media au)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist  ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: after you guest star in a smosh video, you and spencer start dropping hints of your relationship on insta

word count: 1k

warnings: mild language

a/n: ahh i’m so glad you enjoyed my previous spencer!insta fic (which u can find here!!) and i couldn’t resist writing this, i love this format sm. fem!reader. enjoy💋

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yourusername

liked by spennser, yourbestie, and 9,317 others

yourusername: take me back to smosh (and go watch their new vid bc i’m in it!! 💁‍♀️)

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smosh: we had so much fun filming with you!

⤷ liked by yourusername

ynmywife: omg i remember when she was just starting out 🥹 slay queen!

ribbitrabbit: my worlds are colliding rn

tweety122: i just watched it you’re so funny!

barbedcrier: i just watched it too (and i noticed how close her and spencer seemed 👀) myanacondadoes: barbedcrier omg same i just came from the vid and ur right they seemed like they already knew each other

urdad69: LOVE YOU (Y/N)!! 💙💙

yourbestie: I LOVE HER MORE ⤷ liked by yourusername

snazzyjoe: anyone else notice the pic of spencer?

jarshjarsh: YES!! not me staking all her socials looking for more evidence ursmoshismydrug: i love how this comment section is just detectives 😂 i just discovered (y/n) from smosh and i’m here for the tea 🤔

smosh_enjoyer: i’m actually in that photo

ladygagargoyle: yeah ok you wish yourusername: smosh_enjoyer omg i see you right behind the guy on the left ynslays: mother is mothering she’s so sweet 🥹🥹

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spennser

liked by co_mill, yourusername, and 12,413 others

spennser: smosh isn’t the same without yourusername

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jacklyn_uweh: and me though right?

spennser: wait who’s this 😃

yourusername: tag urself i’m the baby 💌🫶

⤷ liked by spennser

trevorevarts: hey that’s my hat!

amazingmayzie: you should do another don’t win mario party video!!

allie989: love you spencer

sabrinastan: omg so are spencer and (y/n) dating????

ynfangirly: i don’t know i can’t figure it out lmao maybe they might be thenotoriousrat: ynfangirly nahh there’s no maybe about it did you see the way he looked at her in that video? they’re together madmax: bro y’all need to calm down their just friends lolipopsfordays: madmax *they’re

yourbestie: you’re right yourusername he is cute

yourusername: 🫢🫢 livinlavidaloca: OMG OMG BESTIE MAKING AN APPEARANCE thefastandthefurriest: livinlavialoca and she didn’t deny it alskalskfg

laskfgai199: bring her back!! she’s so funny

spencerswife: yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning 🙇‍♀️

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yourusername

liked by spennser, erindougal, and 7,413 others

yourusername: pov u learned how to play fortnite today 👾

view all comments

spennser: pov u taught someone how to play fortnite today

yourusername: i taught myself thank you spennser: yourusername i have the 5 hours of my day to prove otherwise actually filmingamanda: i’m next!! ⤷ liked by yourusername

jerrylee77: oh my god he’s teaching her video games? they’re adorable 🥹

ricochetrhino: y’all im convinced they’re together

ynmylifemywife: she can’t be dating him bc she’s dating me 💁‍♀️ yourbestie: actually she’s dating ME

shimmyjimmy: they’re gonna pull a shourtney fr

spennser: yourusername which one of us is which though? yourusername: i’m shayne obviously spensser: i’ll be awaiting your proposal

thecashtoyourrubberband: ahh i love fortnite! have fun (y/n)!

americana19: i want their friendship

broseph_broestar: when she games 😏

milliebobbieorange: i tried to teach my bf how to play mario kart and he gave up lmao

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spennser

liked by mobile_suit_alex, phatchanse, and 21,014 others

spennser: was no one gonna tell me that i have four feet?

view all comments

yourusername: actually pretty sure two of those belong to me last i checked

⤷ liked by spennser

itsjustoneofthosedays: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THIS BASICALLY COMFIRMS IT

rachelgreenismother: wait they’d make such a cute couple 🥹

tswizzle87: spencer is so down bad for (y/n) literally all his posts lately have been about her

shaynetopp: i meant to tell you, i swear

⤷ liked by spennser

yourbestie: y’all 😭🫶

mamasays22: if this is true, he could do better tbh

spennser: pretty sure you got that backwards my guy pastasupremacy: spennser GOT ‘EM yourbestie: yourusername if you don’t take him i will

handyrandy: refreshing my feed like it’s april 1st tbh i’m obsessed with them

jennifer_dunlap: spencer in the last pic is a whole ass mood 😂

ponchovilla: wait who’s the girl in the first pic??

yemenpopulationchandler: her name’s (y/n) and she’s a content creator but she was in one of smosh’s videos and her and spencer acted really close and now they started posting about each other all the time and everyone’s convinced they're dating barbaraanne: yemenpopulationchandler okay paragraph guy (but yeah that’s pretty accurate)

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yourusername

liked by spennser, kianaparker, and 4,019 others

yourusername: my bf has four feet 🤭

view all comments

spennser: i’d love to meet this four-legged man

yourusername: look in the mirror babes samsungmilkyway: THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT

captainofthedrarryship: THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT NOT A DRILL

girlsgirl17: wake up queen posted 👑

simpymcgee: (y/n) is so hot 🥵 like call me alex cooper the way i be calling her daddy 🧎‍♀️

kianaparker: hard launch! love you guys

⤷ liked by yourusername

charlottesweeb: OMG YES I KNEW IT

skinnyvinny: RIGHTTT WE SHOULD ALL WORK FOR THE FBI vectorsnumberonefan: i’ve never been this happy for someone else 🥺 sorry mom

yourbestie: f i n a l l y

yourusername: 🖕😊 (love you) yourbestie: yourusername love u more spennser: i love her most peachesfromatlanta: i can’t they’re too cute 😭😭😭

spencer_slut: they cure my depression

godisgood: now that they are officially dating do you think she’ll be on smosh again we need her back nowww 🙏

yourusername: i’m counting on it! ⤷ liked by spennser

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spennser

liked by yourusername, anthonypadilla, and 17,915 others

spennser: *insert taylor swift lyrics*

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yourusername: i believe the one’s you’re looking for are from paper rings or sparks fly

spennser: isn’t there one about coffee? yourusername: spennser that’s sabrina 🤦‍♀️ kissthegirl: not spencer thinking taylor sang espresso 😭 so happy for them

anthonypadilla: congratulations guys

⤷ liked by spennser

co_mill: the couple of all time

⤷ liked by yourusername

strawberrysugar: that coming from courtney is wilddd yourusername: we’re still on for that couples game night friday right? co_mill: yourusername only if you and spence are ready to loose shaynetopp: ^ what she said

registeredpreist: can i just say spencer is servinggg in that first pic

leftylucy: they’re so perfect together 🤩

yourbestie: already writing my speech for your wedding

⤷ liked by spennser

ianhecox: yourusername but has he told you about the kickstart yet?

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ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed loves!! this was a blast to write and i luv spencer so much 💌

[j0kers-light]

hi bae, ik youve been going thru a rough patch i hope(in fact ik) you’ll bounce back harder.🫶🏻

i really wanted to make a request for a long long time now, no pressure write it whenever u feel like it i am just going to drop it here.

for me J has always been a Lana del rey song specially the ultra violence album, he’s shades of blue, he’s ultraviolenec, smts hes even brooklyn baby. Can you write something dark, like real dark where hes possessive, violent, exatcly like he was in TDK. Pulling stunts and dropping hints. maybe he kidnappes the reader or smt like that, he’s acting all crazy and violent but something inside him just makes him slip to a lil caring or loving side every now and then, which eventually leads to some serious SMUT 😏😏

the reader could be his enemy’s daughter(maybe even batman’s daughter lol i am going wild) he tortures her,loves her, takes care of her then tortures her a lil more but make no mistake the reader is a fireball she gives him that lil fight they have in her which makes J even more attached to her.

ik i am just blabbing and making no sense, but i hope ukwim. i am also attaching a link to my fav J edit ever which might give u an outline of what i am trying to say. maybe even add J’s POV.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CqyP1PdveA9/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

okay ill shut up now. feel better love you 🫶🏻

His Lighthouse: Broken Dolls (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Broken Dolls - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A STORY UPDATE!

I feel ashamed that you had to wait so long for this request. Forgive me times a thousand @heathisbae !! I still love you and I got carried away with the word count. (10,500 words!!) I promise you that my blood, sweat, and tears went into this request. You should've let me stay in my enclosure. I LOVE DARK requests and I was in a dark and lonely place when I wrote this. The perfect mood for Broken Dolls.

Gather round children it’s time to go over some legal stuff. I usually do not care about trigger warnings. You are responsible for your own reading pleasure, BUT I’ll add a TW: List because yall gone need it. Chaos had a lil bit too much fun writing this one.. 👀😬

TW! Dark!Joker. rape, knife, blood, impact, choking, power play, dacryphilia, spitting, biting kinks, unprotected sex, overstimulation if you squint, degradation, no prep (foreplay is important kids) uhhhh… I’m missing something. 🤔 It’s canon Joker people. He’s a walking trigger warning.

Just be careful if you decide to read this one. I know I went overboard but your mental health is always my top priority. Enjoy or not. It’s entirely up to you. Since its a dark request, I decided not to tag anyone except @heathisbae Read at your own risk 🖤✨

Your father made it virtually impossible for anyone to find out. By fate’s design, you looked nothing like the iconic figure you called “father”, and you were forever grateful for that. 

Your skin complexion, eye, and hair color masked you from the surname that was your birthright. You were the rumored Wayne heiress that Gotham City whispered about. Many far and wide longed to meet you to strengthen their businesses by marriage, whereas others flat out questioned your conception.  

Bruce Wayne had neither confirmed nor denied the mother of any of his children to the world. Not like he ever would. There were only a few secrets Bruce had left in this world: you being the most important one.  

Your life would be in danger if anyone were to find out you were a Wayne or worse, the precious daughter of Batman.  

Many were adopted into the bat family, but you were blood to Bruce. A last-ditch effort he made to secure his family’s legacy; He hired a surrogate.  

Should Batman ever fall in combat, you could pick up the torch and continue the Wayne legacy.  

At an early age you wanted to make your father proud and wisely decided not to follow in his footsteps moonlighting as a vigilante. The eldest boys, Dick and Jason, celebrated for days. They loved their half-sister and supported every decision you make, but they would’ve put their foot down should you have wished to don a bat suit.  

Instead of violence, you dedicated your life to education. Only the best schools with full ride scholarships—your cv was lengthy as it was profound. You spoke multiple foreign languages, held many accreditations issued from all over the globe, and excelled at virtually every extra-curricular skill you could think of.  

You were a hardworking, driven woman with a no-nonsense attitude. That much, you got from your mother. 

You dominated any boardroom you entered, and your famous e/c eyes could make or break contracts with a single look. Now that was all your father’s genes. You gave the phrase, beauty and brains, a living breathing, mascot and Bruce couldn’t be prouder.  

That unfortunately made you a target.  

You shied away from public humanitarian appearances to avoid being recognized as a Wayne. Too many similarities with Bruce would make people curious. Instead, you worked behind a smokescreen and attended the many charities and sponsorship parties as a third-party spectator to oversee your work.  

That way, you got to see your hard work being implemented into the community—far better results than your father’s monetary donations provided.  

You took pride knowing your hard work was creating a change in Gotham City. With the safeguards Bruce and the boys had in place; it would take an actual genius to put the numerous clues together to uncover your identity. You could live in relative peace while still making a difference.  

Sadly, your long forgotten surrogate mother would soon threaten life as you knew it.  

Joker prided himself in being a vigilant man. Nothing, not even the smallest of details, went unnoticed by him and when it came to his best friend Batman, J took extra care to notice every little thing.  

The level of surveillance Joker did on the dark knight bordered on obsession but in a way, he was. Joker strived to be twelve steps ahead of his arch-nemesis in order to maintain his freedom. Being shipped back to Arkham was not an option, so he took information gathering very seriously.  

Joker knew that Batman was Bruce Wayne for years. He was surprised other Gotham villains or just the local law enforcement didn’t put the clues together. It was so obvious. 

There was no point in telling the world Batman’s not so little secret, but when Joker studied the daily life of Bruce Wayne a bit further, now that was a blackmail gold mine. Having a one up on Bats just felt good and especially when Joker discovered the perfect weapon that would break the man once and for all.  

You. 

Tucked away and hidden in plain sight; Y/n Wayne, the perfect tool for Joker’s plans.  

A father’s worst nightmare, seeing their child in distress, Joker looked forward to scaring Bruce with this latest prank. All he had to do was get close enough to steal you away, but Bruce kept you protected twenty-four seven. Smart man and Joker didn’t blame his bestie for being a protective father.  

There were dangerous people out there who would dream of your demise if they knew the truth! 

No, it was much easier to track down your mother and it was mere child’s play to make her talk. Joker thoroughly enjoyed extracting as much information from the woman before her untimely demise.  

He found it was unfair that she was virtually defenseless while you had security tighter than most world leaders. It wasn’t fair in Joker’s book, so he set out to put your safeguards to the test.  

And what achievement it was to outsmart Batman at his own game.  

You should’ve known better. Dad drilled it into your brain time and time again to always be aware of your surroundings.  

There was no such thing as a coincidence. Things happened for a reason, and it was up to you to detect any signs of danger at any given time.  

The same could be said for that fateful night. You were feeling a bit overwhelmed by a journalist at a charity event. She kept asking probing questions—a few hitting too close for comfort about your identity.  

How ironic that you attended every event the rumored Wayne heiress organized and knew so much about her personal affairs. What a coincidence how reporters asked you questions like you were the boss..  

The curious woman would not leave you alone! Her mindless chitchat felt more like an interrogation by the minute. You feared your identity was compromised after one of her questions rang true, but she simply laughed it off and said that if you were indeed a Wayne, “You’d be way prettier.”  

Whatever that meant.  

Perhaps the comment hit hard since your longtime friend/rival, Lana, stole attention from the fund raiser with her scandalous outfit. The brunette reeked of new money and had an ego the size of Metropolis, demanding attention wherever she went.  

Her appearance ruined your event for helping orphaned kids and turned it into a mini Met Gala. You had every right for storming out to scream into the back alley. She never failed at ruining things!  

You were really letting your frustration be heard when a whistle nearby startled you. 

“Listen to the pipes on that one.”  

You quickly stopped screaming once you realized that you weren’t alone. A lone male was smoking in the same alley, and he locked eyes with you once he caught your attention.  

They were an unnatural green that felt familiar however, you couldn’t place where you might’ve seen them before.  

“By all means... don’t let me keep ya from your.. uhh temper tantrum.” He blew a long puff of smoke into the night air.  

At first you were in shock, but that reaction soon turned into irritation. Just who did he think he was talking to you like that? “I am not having a tantrum thank you very much a-and... you can’t smoke here!”  

He simply chuckled while taking another drag. You crossed your arms and tapped your heels on the concrete as you waited for a response. This guy was something else.  

“Hello? Did you hear me?” You added.  

“Yup.” He popped the letter p, “Loud n’ clear. Pretty sure this area is ah... employees only. Ya wouldn’t catch me smokin’ if ya weren’t out here being a brat, hm?”  

He had a point, but you still scoffed at his choice of words. You had the idea of using your title as the boss of this event to get him fired; yet he would surely talk and by morning, Gotham City would know that you’re a Wayne. That was the last thing you wanted; however, it was worth the hassle if it got rid of him.  

For now, all you could do was shake your head at this strange man breaking your employee’s no smoking rule. You personally selected all the staff for the event and your security team performed background checks on everyone to ensure your safety.  

The gentlemen sitting before you did not jog your memory.  

His presence made you uneasy and you took a step back, “Do I know you?”  

He snorted, smoke emerging from his nostrils in comical puffs. “Uh no, but I knoooo~ooow you.” 

The blood in your veins ran cold when the stranger stood up and stepped into the light. “Didn’t your dad tell ya not to talk to strangers Miss Wayne?” He said mockingly.  

You took one look at The Joker’s grotesque scars and turned to run.  

Joker grinned and let you have a running start although you didn’t get far. Your feet got caught in your dress fabric and made his job relatively easy. The two of you tumbled to the ground, Joker landing on your back, but that quickly changed with a sharp elbow to his nose.  

You didn’t stick around to see if your hit landed, you just scrambled to your feet and tried to reach for the back door when a hand grabbing your ankle disrupted your sense of balance. One second you were upright, the next, you were on the ground seeing double vision.  

Joker didn’t think you’d put up much of a fight. His research into you was limited, but he doubted that you had any of the fighting skills your father was notorious for.  

Technically he was right. You had taken up self defense training from Jason and he reported that you sucked at it.  

Despite your lack of skills and concussion, you weren’t going down without a fight. One of your nails scratched Joker’s elongated smile causing it to bleed and suddenly, he had enough of your little games.  

You were making too much noise, and his window of opportunity to kidnap you was running out. If he didn’t move you soon, his plan would be ruined. You just had to make things difficult for him.  

“Alrighty Y/n, time for a little nap. Shhhhh... shh easy now.” Joker dodged your wild punch to his face as he dug a syringe out of his pocket.  

The sight of it made you panic and fight back harder but your scream of help was drowned out by a roar of applause from inside. The auction must’ve ended with a success. Joker pierced your skin and watched the milky white substance disappear into your system.  

It was cold seeping into your veins as you still tried to fight back.  

“Aht ahttttt don’t fight it. Let it happen.” Joker crooned into your ear; not like you could hear him. Your body felt so heavy, you lost function of your limbs so suddenly it was terrifying.  

The Joker’s obnoxious laugh sounded miles away from you. When your eyelashes fluttered closed, Joker knew victory was his.  

The environment that you woke up in was dark and cold.  

Your limbs were still groggy with whatever The Joker had injected you with and after a few test stretches, you still had motion in them. Although it would do you no good. The distinctive sound of metal on metal gave away your current predicament. 

You were chained to something.  

You tried not to panic but you were unable to see anything a few inches in front of you much less see how far the chain allowed you to move. You felt something solid underneath you and concluded that it was some sort of mattress or padding. It was a small comfort while being confined in total darkness.  

Wherever you were, The Joker was to blame, and you weren’t going to let him have this much power over you. You had to find a way out before he started his sick form of entertainment.  

Every citizen of Gotham knew Joker’s M.O. You didn’t want to be tortured to death all for a laugh.  

You waited until your eyes adjusted to the dim surroundings before exploring how much freedom you truly had.  

You felt around in the darkness until your hands bumped into something solid. It was a surface with nothing that could help you escape on it, so you moved on. Minutes felt like hours as you stumbled through the dark, searching for anything useful. Just when you thought you were painting a clear picture of the room in your head, a door opened beside you.  

The blinding light was nothing compared to the searing pain of the door hitting you square in the face or that of the trauma caused by falling to the ground.  

The room was still spinning when your loudmouth got the better of you. 

“What’s your f__king problem?!” You cried out. You feared that your nose was broken, it sure felt like it with the amount of blood you felt gushing out. The Joker didn’t seem phased by the display.  

Instead, he stepped right over you and flicked on a light, blinding you in the process. “Errr let’s see... problems. MY problem.. Social injustice? Global warming…uhhh rush hour traffic?” Joker paused for dramatic effect and slowly turned to face you. You froze, feeling his emerald eyes rake over your form hungrily.  

The unnatural hue seemed to suck you in the longer you stared. “You.” Joker purred. 

“M-Me?” How were you a problem? He abducted you not the other way round! 

You had never crossed paths with the Clown Prince of Crime until tonight. The two of you couldn’t be more worlds apart. You stayed nose deep in your humanitarian work and out of any trouble whereas The Joker was trouble personified.  

The only thing that linked you to Joker was your father, yet you doubted the clown was smart enough to put all the puzzle pieces together to uncover that.  

You prayed that this was all some sort of misunderstanding but judging how The Joker was staring, your hopes began to shatter one by one.  

You instinctively shielded your body from the known threat and in doing so, your skin brushed against unknown material. The formal dress you originally wore for the evening was gone and replaced by a thin t-shirt and baggy men’s pants. The implications were not lost on you. 

You turned to glare at the madman before you. “Who changed my clothes!?” If you were able to blush, you knew you’d be redder than a tomato.  

This man obviously had no respect for women. He simply threw his head back and laughed, “The pleasure is allllllllllll mine.”  

You failed at hiding your full body shudder and even worse, you were unable to silence yourself from talking trash. “Screw you.” You regretted saying it the moment you opened your mouth.  

The room suddenly got quiet. Joker sauntered his way over to your mattress and crouched down so he could be eye level with you. He admired the fire burning within your e/c eyes for a time. Such a strong wielded fire, it was beautiful to behold. If Joker had his way, there would only be smoking embers after he had his fun. He would make sure of it.  

The Joker always had an air of drama about him, and it took center stage as he spoke to you. “Ya wanna.. know something? You should be lucK-yyyy my boys didn’t change ya. They would’ve loved to uh.. what did ya say? Screw you.” 

His choice of words held more meaning as he tried to brush a few strands of hair out of your face. You shut down that idea by chomping at his fingers the second they were within your reach.  

You refused to sit around like some damsel in destress until dad or one of the boys came to rescue you. You would fight back even if it killed you. 

To Joker, your little stunt was comical. You could rebel all you wanted; your antics would never compare to what he had in store for you.  

He simply wagged his paint-stained fingers at you like a scolding parent and insulted you further. “Mm, feisty! I like thaT. But that’s no way to behave while you’re here. No noooo. No. You are a verry special guest, Y/n!” 

Joker walked over to the table that you found earlier. You watched as he pulled out a tripod and took the time to set up a camera in your general direction. Once it was positioned to his liking, he mashed a button—and to your horror, a red light began to blink. 

“Tada! May I present.... Y/n, my lead-ing lady in this uh.. short film of mine! The title you ask? Why it’s, How to Break Batman’s Little Girl 101!”  

Joker’s words were like a sucker punch to your gut. They bounced off the thick walls of the room and echoed back in your eardrum's times a hundred. Your worst nightmare was happening right before your eyes. Not only did someone know who you were, but dad’s long kept secret was out—and his arch-nemesis of all people, knew about it.  

You were blinking a mile a minute and Joker thought your lips flailing like a fish was oh so adorable. Kissable really but he shook that odd thought away.  

He hyped up his performance so much, you weren’t sure if he was addressing you or the camera at this point.  

“Oh come now, Y/n. Don’t act so sur-prised! I knew Bats’ secret for years now. We are friends ya know.... Mmm on second thought. Ya might wanna work on the security Batsy.. I just so happened to waltz in and steal your precious.... and might I add.... beau-ti-ful daughter away easy peasy. Did I mention she’s verrrry beautiful?”  

You snapped out of your panic by Joker’s fingers grazing your cheek. Your response was instinctive by slapping his hand away. “Don’t touch me!”  

Joker wasted no time reacting to your outburst. His gentle touch turned cruel and struck your face hard enough to turn it sideways right into the wall.  

He quickly grabbed ahold of your jaw and yanked you back upright. You were forced to bear witness to his self-inflicted scars, all jagged and swollen up close. It was a permanent reminder just how insane this man truly was. Joker’s nails dug into your cheek and for a split second, you genuinely feared this man.  

His green eyes were almost electric staring into your soul. “You’re mine now and I’ll touch ya however I want. Got thaT?”  

Joker saw the insult queuing up in your brain and squeezed your face tighter in his grasp. You whined but still managed to part your lips to respond. “I’m not yours.” You growled.  

A brief staring contest ensued. Green verses your e/c.  

Joker admired your bravery; you questioned his sanity. He dressed the part of a gentleman with his three-piece suit and coattails (despite the outlandish colors) yet he was so far removed from the title. He was unpredictable in every sense of the word that you weren’t sure if you would survive a moment longer in his presence. 

You were confident that someone would come save you, Joker thought you were too naïve to understand the gravity of your situation. In any case, he would have ample time to extinguish the fire blazing in your eyes before someone started searching for you.  

He was so caught up crafting his mental plans, he didn’t notice the glint in your eye right before you bit his hand.  

It hardly phased him and for your efforts you received a rough shove towards the ground. Thankfully the mattress softened the blow however you still had the strength to glare at The Joker in disdain. 

“Let’s see how long that feisty streak of yours last hmm?” Joker chuckled under his breath and walked over to the door.  

The sudden change in brightness blinded you again but this time you caught a glimpse of a bulky man guarding the door before he and Joker disappeared from sight. 

Finally you were alone with your thoughts. The first thing you did was let out a shaky sigh and glance at the camera still recording you. The Joker didn’t turn it off and you concluded its sole purpose was to monitor you and collect material for the ransom cd your dad would receive. 

You choked back a sob just thinking about dad. He would be beside himself knowing you were abducted. Finding out that his greatest enemy took you would be a low blow—one you hoped he would overcome in order to rescue you. Dick and Jason would steer the detective in the right direction but with every hour that passed, you knew dad would slowly lose his mind. He knew firsthand what Joker was capable of. Your nose throbbed bitterly as a harsh reminder.  

There was nothing stopping the clown from killing you if he simply became bored.  

If only you took dad’s words to heart and abided by his strict security measures. You had snuck away from your detail for a bit of privacy. Now you regretted that dumb decision. You were in Joker’s clutches with no chance of escape, and it was all your fault.  

He chained you to a bedpost like some animal and now that there was light in the room, you could see it in its entirety.  

It was a mini prison right down to the bare necessities. The Joker had every intention of keeping you here, cut off from Gotham City, most likely below ground to disrupt the bat tracker embedded in you since childhood.  

You scratched at your wrist, praying that it miraculously still worked despite the odds. Surely your father, the world’s greatest detective, could locate his daughter with much less. 

It was the only reassurance you had.  

You were getting tired overthinking your predicament. There was nothing you could do at present, so with one last hesitant glance at the video recorder, you tried your best to get comfortable on the mattress and fall asleep. 

That became your routine. Time held no value anymore.  

Was it a few days? Weeks? Longer? How were you to know? You were confined to four concrete walls with no form of contact, save for the ever present blinking red light watching your every move.  

You were forced to use the horrendous facilities they called a bathroom, and meals (which were surprisingly great) were brought to your room like clockwork while you were asleep.  

You began to look forward to the tray that would magically appear on your table. It was the only connection to the outside world you had, and you didn’t take it for granted.  

There was always a special treat on your dinner plate and it never failed at putting a smile on your face regardless of being a prisoner. You tried to keep a grip on your sanity with these small bouts of happiness, but it was obvious what angle Joker was playing at.  

He was using isolation to mentally break you and it was working. 

You thought being locked away all alone would be easy, but the constant silence was unbearable and before long you began to fear when Joker would return.  

Not fearing him specifically, but of what you might do for a sliver of human interaction.  

That visit came unexpectedly. You woke up from a nap sensing a presence inside your room. Sadly, you had embraced having hallucinations during your lengthy stay here, but this one felt a little too real.  

Something didn’t feel right. “H-Hello?”  

The door was still closed with the lights dimmed and there wasn’t a tray of food dropped by, so you glanced near the bathroom area on pure instincts. Nothing was inside the room except that camera that you loathed so much. Its constant flashing light both annoyed and comforted you. At least you weren’t completely alone.  

You sighed to yourself and was about to fall back asleep when you felt something move behind you. Joker’s laugh blended in with your scream as you tried to scramble away.  

You didn’t get far given that Joker dragged you back towards him.  

The last thing you expected after waking up was a man lying in the same bed as you. It was a natural response to freak out, especially since it was The Joker pinning you to the mattress. “YOU SICK F__K! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?”  

You didn’t see the way Joker's eyes glazed over or the way his hands tightened around you before he grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Have I lost my… have I.. losT my mind?”   

You tried to pry his hands off you, but Joker was just too strong as he continued to repeat your question over and over. His manic laughter was deafening in your ear. “Have I lost my mind, Y/n? Or have you?”  

You looked up into pools of jade that glinted mockingly down at you. “What are you...?” 

Joker cut you off by directing your gaze to the camera in the room. “Did ya forget I’ve been watching you this entire time doll? Talking to yourself, your uh... hopeless words of affirmation? Oh Dad will come, he’ll come save me! Hang in there, Y/n! You’re so braaaaaave and strong!”’ 

Joker’s imitation of your voice was cringeworthy as he repeated your own words out loud. He mocked your defiant spirit and hopes of escape as if it was a joke. Strangely enough, Joker’s tone softened, and he sounded sincere with his next angle of attack.  

“You just don’t get iT. Daddy’s not coming Y/n. No one knows you’re missing, and nooo one cares either. It’s been a month now doll. If Daddy Bats really cared about his precious daughter, he would’ve rescued you by now don’tcha think?” 

Joker was just messing with you. This was another tactic of his to break you down. He was a master of manipulation and his way with words was just as dangerous as his work with knives. His sole existence was to harm others and yet with your fragile state of mind, a part of you believed him.  

You couldn’t believe that a month had passed with no one trying to find you. Was Joker telling the truth?  

It was too absurd to believe. “N-No....  no dad cares about me. He wouldn't.... he wouldn’t give up..” You whispered. You didn’t know who you were trying to convince here, you or The Joker.  

He must’ve seen the doubt starting to creep in for he pushed you a little further. “Are you sure, Y/n? He’s a uh, busy bat! Fighting crime always comes first, you know that better than anyyyyy one. He’s never had time for you...” Joker smiled, watching you blink back tears.  

He enjoyed every minute of tearing down your defenses one lie at a time.  

He leaned away and bit back a smile when you followed, seeking his contact. You were making this child’s play for him.  

“Bats always sent ya away when you were younger. Never letting you err.. blossom to your fullest. He hid you away because you were a failure to him. A mistake. He never cared about you! But guess whaT?”  

Joker waited until you looked up into his grassy green eyes. Were they always so expressive or was it your imagination that made them sparkle? It was the first source of human contact you had in who knows how long. You felt special to have The Joker staring at you the way he was.  

The air in the room was filled with static energy as you waited for Joker’s next words. You craved validation, acceptance, and attention at a time like this. The Joker had starved you for far too long in isolation.  

His hand raised up and softly caressed the side of your face and you missed how his eyes lingered on your lips longer than intended.  

“I care Y/n.” He chuckled seeing you pout, “I mean iT! I’ve been so ah.. cruel to ya. I should’ve treated you better. You want me to treat ya better doll?” 

Joker leaned forward and kissed both of your cheeks. The contact made you jump and blink up at him in shock. If he couldn’t hear your heart beating wildly, then he was deaf.  

You soaked up his form of human contact like a sponge. How long had you been wasting away in this room?  

Was it really a month like Joker had said? Right as Joker was leaning down to kiss you properly, you had a moment of clarity.  

Who was to blame for you being trapped in here? Why were you here in the first place? The answer was right in front of you, buttering you up with sweet lies and fake affection. Joker was playing you like a fiddle, and you were weak enough to fall for it.  

Not anymore.  

The Joker was the enemy. He was full of lies. Dad would never abandon you so why were so inclined to believe this green haired clown? No amount of isolation, no form of torture, could break you to believe such. You couldn’t give up so easily. You were a Wayne. You were born a fighter.  

Joker’s scarred lips ghosted against yours as you shoved him away. “You are nothing but a liar.”  

You enjoyed his brief moment of shock before his eyes cooled into the hard emeralds that they were. 

And just like that the act was over. One second you were in the comfort of Joker’s arms, the next you were tossed aside like trash and his true colors were revealed.  

He towered over you like a titan as you tried to back away but there was simply nowhere to go. You were at Joker’s mercy, and he spared you none. Each kick to your body made you cry out for Joker to stop but he didn’t listen, rather he laughed and kicked harder.  

You grabbed his ankle and begged him to stop but he jerked free and stomped on your wrist in retaliation. The audible crack was background noise to your earsplitting scream— yet it was all music to Joker’s ears.  

He enjoyed the pain of others and yours was icing on the cake.  

You sounded so pretty, so helpless and filled with anguish. He wanted to hear more. He was obsessed. How far could he push you until you gave under pressure? 

Two knocks on the door stole Joker’s attention and his eyes watched as another person entered the room. Joker knew who it was. Anyone else wouldn’t dare enter while he had his fun.  

Frost took one look at you sobbing on the floor before he focused his attention back on his boss. “We got trouble.”  

Joker rolled his eyes at Frost for interrupting his fun although it was probably for the best. He didn’t want to break you just yet. Slow and steady won the race and he had all he time in the world to do so.  

He might’ve went overboard today judging by how you visibly flinched when he moved in your direction, but he knew you’d bounce back defiant as ever. You had to.   

“You’ll have to uhh, excuse me Y/n. It seems.. I’m needed elsewhere. Don’t. You. Move.” He patted your head and laughed all the way out the door.  

The heavy sound of it closing did little to silence your tears.  

The pain was nothing. You were more upset with yourself for not being stronger. Joker was destroying your fighting spirit in record time and you were powerless to stop him.  

The bruises never faded, and it made sleeping even more difficult on your worn mattress.  

Sure, Joker was considerate enough to cast your broken wrist, but it was a small gesture compared to the verbal and added physical abuse he bestowed upon you daily.  

You became Joker’s personal punching bag and there was no end in sight to your suffering.  

Each time the door opened, you were forced to endure Joker’s twisted mind games or his heavy hand. It didn’t matter that you were a woman, in his eyes you deserved every ounce of pain that he inflicted. And when he finally left you bleeding and holding back tears, your own thoughts tortured you some more. 

Did father really abandon you? How was the world’s greatest detective, renowned for his state-of-the-art technology and gadgets, unable to locate his only daughter?  

The days blended together and all the hope you originally had of being rescued, diminished.  

The Joker enjoyed his daily visits with you but he could tell that it wasn’t enough. Your body was obviously battered yet your mind remained intact.  

You still possessed a thread of hope that made you defiant to the end. You spat in Joker's face whenever he was in range, and you rolled your eyes at his half-hearted jokes about killing you.  

“Then do it.” Your snide remarks often led to more beatings that did little to fulfill Joker’s goal.  

Nothing seemed to be working to ultimately break you, so he decided to try a different angle. 

You woke up to the smell of food in the air. Your stomach growled in want, but the reset of your body hurt too much to move. You debated skipping eating all together in favor of rest however that choice was made for you.  

“Sit up.” 

His voice. The root of all of your problems. You didn’t have the strength to be bothered with him today.  

Joker waited for you to move yet when you remained lying down, he became agitated. “I won’T re-peat myself doll.” 

Your voice cracked with your response. “I can’t. It hurts.” You just wanted to be left alone, to hurt in peace but Joker controlled everything here. As if you had a choice to begin with. 

“Lemme help you.” 

Just hearing the offer gave you the strength to flip over to face him. Surely he was joking. He wanted to help you?! After all he did? Screw the consequences, you had to speak your mind. 

“Help me? You want to help me? Okay then. Go away! Far… far away and leave me alone! Or even better! Let me go!  What’s the point of keeping me here? What do you want from me?!”  

During your speech you began to cry and Joker (for the first time in his life) felt guilty. Your timeless beauty was marred by cuts and bruises that he caused, and he couldn’t justify his actions for creating them.  

Somewhere along the way Joker lost focus of the mission.  

It was all a game— to get at Batman but along the way Joker saw how strong you truly were. Anything he tossed your way, you deflected it with ease. You never faltered, never lost hope. Even now as you lay weak and hungry, your eyes set him ablaze.  

You had won, he just didn’t know at what.  

Joker didn’t know what else to do with this failed experiment of his. One thing was certain, he wasn’t letting you go. There was something about you that he couldn’t put his finger on.  

Your rant fizzled off as you stared at Joker.  

There was an odd gleam in his eyes that you were wary of. He looked lost in thought and when he snapped to, you were shocked to see a genuine smile appear on his lips.  

You feared what his thoughts could lead to.  

To mask your fear, you rolled your eyes at his lack of an answer and reached for your dinner tray. Your groan of pain made Joker wince. Were you really in that much pain?  

Without thinking, he smacked your hand away and stabbed a portion of food with the provided fork. The two of you stared at each other in silence waiting for the other to make a move.  

“I can feed myself.” You grumbled.  

Joker gave you an, ‘are you sure about that’ look and tapped the fork to your lips.  

Just thinking about moving used up too much energy and your muscles begged for you to take him up on the offer. The Joker, Gotham City’s notorious criminal, wanted to feed you dinner; who were you to deny him?  

You begrudgingly opened your mouth while looking away from his smug green eyes.  

The act was so demoralizing, but you kept your cool while chewing in silence and opening your mouth for the next morsel.  

Just to be cheeky, you closed your lips around the fork and refused to let go. Joker didn’t think it was funny but he entertained your bratty behavior nonetheless. He considered stabbing your tongue—but thought against it. There was no need to be violent.  

He was trying a different angle to this whole hostage situation he created. Your defenses were down tonight and he would be a fool not to take advantage of them.  

A quick glance to his right confirmed that the video camera was still recording. Perhaps it was time to send a message to daddy dearest and make some progress.  

You were under the impression that Joker was taking pity on you with his nice guy act. He was patient, feeding you bites of food and not shoving it down your throat like he’d done in the past when you tried starving yourself.  

He was being.. (dare you say it) nice. You should’ve known it was too good to be true.  

He finished feeding you and you thought he was moving onto the slice of cake that was on the tray. You had been eyeing it since Joker uncovered it and you licked your lips thinking about the delectable treat.  

It would have to wait. There was an ominous shift in the air that completely blindsided you.  

Joker didn’t know what came over him. He didn’t have any plans when he entered your room tonight. It was supposed to be a simple food drop—nothing more, but the moment his eyes landed on you curled up on the mattress resting so beautifully, what left of his demented mind, checked out early.  

This past month and a half was filled with harsh lessons and far too many close calls. Batman and his ban of birds did everything in their power to find you and they almost succeeded once or twice. 

Thankfully Joker was smart enough to place you inside a shipping container so you could always be mobile and out of reach. You hardly noticed the frequent moves since he coordinated them during your sleeping hours. It also ensured your meals were always hot and fresh since they could just travel to wherever Joker deemed fit to your standards.  

Everything was planned down to the smallest detail, everything except developing feelings for you.  

Now that was out of Joker’s control.  

Underneath the clown façade, Joker was still a man and you were absolutely stunning with your aristocratic beauty and educated mind.  

Your fierce personality drew him in despite you being a means to an end. You were supposed to be a form of entertainment, a toy until Joker got bored and let Batman have his daughter back but over time, Joker became attached to you in an unhealthy way. 

You were Joker’s property, his special secret hidden from the world to do with as he so pleased.  

He stopped hitting you and allowed you time to heal due to some unknown form of guilt. More and more tasty desserts were included with your meals to make up for his abusive behavior, and unbeknownst to you, Joker watched you sleep every night.  

There was something soothing watching you blissfully unaware of the monster in your bed. He could slit your throat in your sleep but he didn’t. No, that would be a waste.  

Joker found it better to sleep beside you and hold you close. He knew you would freak out if you knew all the liberties that he took while you were asleep.  

From tracing your major arteries with a knife to leaving lipstick marks all over your skin—his feelings for you were disturbing and perfectly justified in his opinion.  

Joker didn’t want the traditional lovey dovey crap most couples shared because he wasn’t normal. He wanted to own, to control, to destroy you completely and then protect the broken pieces that remained. 

There was no concept of love in Joker’s mind and there never would be. Seeing you so docile as he fed you was the breaking point. He got a taste of your submissive side and craved more.  

Why couldn’t you just give in and break already? You brought this upon yourself. You forced Joker to do this. 

He blocked out the sound of your cries and wrestled your arms down to onto the mattress. His only goal was to get you naked and when you began to struggle more, he took matters into his own hands. 

Joker grabbed the army knife from his pocket and sliced your clothes off. One motion caught your skin and you howled as the sharp metal tore it open. Joker saw red bubble to the surface and dove down to lick you clean.  

He didn’t like hearing your voice filled with pain. It distracted him from getting hard and after staring you in the eye, you quickly got the message. Keep quiet or else.  

You tried not to make a sound louder than your whimpers. You didn’t want to provoke Joker’s wrath.  

“Much better. So pretty.” Joker hummed to himself when you were laid bare beneath him although he frowned seeing tears staining your cheeks. “Shhhhhh, hey hey. Look at me... Behave and it won’t hurT.”  

He watched your lip wobble as you remained quiet. Your wrists were being held down by Joker’s hand, leaving you powerless to squirm away and he loved the power scale tipping in his favor. Good. You would always be beneath him.  

He struggled a bit to unzip his fly but managed to get his cock out without letting you go. A shame you were being bratty and didn’t prepare yourself for this. He really had to do everything around here.  

Joker spat on his hand and worked it up and down his cock, groaning to himself at the feeling. His eyes roamed over his doll and admired your beauty mid stoke. You had curves in all the right places that begged to be fondled. He wanted to touch them, but if he let go of your hands, you would act out.  

He could see the fire burning in your eyes. If he gave you an inch, you’d take a mile.  

Yet it was criminal not to mark you up the way he wanted.  

Joker sighed as he lined himself up with your pussy. You panicked and tried moving away from his tip tapping your opening with heavy slaps to no avail.  

“Are ya gonna behave doll?” 

He shifted his weight and applied more pressure on your healing broken wrist when you continued to rebel. The searing pain made you bite your lip and cease struggling altogether.  

“Now. Are you gonna be a errr.. good doll for me n’ stay realllllllly still?” Joker sang.  

Your lip curled back, ready to cuss him out, instead a loud scream took escaped your lips as Joker began to force his way inside your dry entrance.  

It burned. It ached. He was tearing you apart and you shook your head in agony as it continued without end. You didn’t think about the consequences, you bucked your hips away from the unwanted invasion.  

You knew you were in trouble the moment Joker said your name in warning. 

“What. Did. I just say doll? Dumb b___h.” 

Joker let go of your wrists to hold your hips instead. Once he found purchase, he began thrusting in and out of your pussy. His pleasure was your torment. Your silent tears spurred him on and he swatted your hands away that tried to push him off.  

Nothing would stop him after he got a taste of you. He was an idiot for not taking you sooner. 

“Haha, you’re grippin’ me soooooo tight doll. Ease up for me!” Joker groaned louder to drown out your pathetic pleas. He would not slow down; you were too perfect to stop now.  

He noticed the camera in the corner and got an idea. “Are ya enjoying yourself, doll? Why don’tcha give the ah.. a-audience a good show? Go on. Tell him how you feel.”   

You forgot all about the recorder in the room! Your sharp gasp was music to his ears. You tried to turn away, but Joker would have none of that. He grabbed your jaw and forcibly turned your face towards the lens. Your tears were a paid actor for his production.  

“Ya see that Bats? ThaT, oh f__k... t-that is the face of your failure. She’s all mine and I’m gonna take ahaha.. verrry good care of her. All mine.. d__n it..” Joker choked back a moan and licked the tears from your face as he sped up his thrusts. If he kept this up, he would cum before the fun really started. Although he shouldn’t have to be the only one getting off.  

With a smug grin, he snaked a hand down to rub messy circles on your clit.  

The response was instantaneous. You threw your head back with a mewl on your tongue. He felt the result of his adventurous touch the same time you let out an unexpected moan. “Oh? Ya like that doll?” He mocked.  

He laughed at you trying to deny deny deny but your body was speaking on your behalf.  

You tightened around him and he felt the slick begin to coat his cock. He arched an eyebrow at the sudden turn of events. You really were enjoying this. He wondered... 

He stroked your clit faster and was rewarded by another sweet moan gracing his ears. His doll made the prettiest sounds under distress. He could see the confusion dancing across your features.  

“Ohhhhhh Bats! You have a naughty.. naughty girl! Enjoying my touch after begging me to stop just minutes ago? Ah.. mmm, it's okay doll! M-Moan louder. Enjoy ittt, I know I am. Mm, you feel better the uh wetter you become.” 

Joker stopped mid thrust when you clenched down unexpectedly on him. Were you trying to crush him to death?  

He wondered if you could feel him throbbing in your pussy. Your tiny fists were beating on his clothed chest but there was no point in pretending.  

You were enjoying yourself and if he was correct to assume, you were getting close. You just needed a little push and Joker had just the thing.  

“I knew you were secretly a whore. Only dirty sluts get off on being used like a toy. Hehe. It's a-always the quiet ones f__k!” Joker chuckled to himself followed by a shuddering groan. You were very close. He had to act fast.  

Without warning he bit down hard on your shoulder. You moaned out before covering your mouth with your hand. It was too late; Joker already knew what kind of woman you were. He bit harder and rejoiced as blood bubbled up to the surface to coat his lips. Finally, he was marking you up the way you deserved.  

He sped up his thrusts, laughing at the sloppy sound of wet skin on skin in the room. His cock happily slid in and out of your pussy now that you were horny.  

You were shaking your head in denial even as your legs shivered on Joker’s shoulders. He licked the fresh bite mark clean before whispering in your ear.  

“Let go Y/n. Shatter into a thousand tiny lit-tle pieces— and when you snap them back together, I'll be righT here to ruin you all over again. And again. And again. I will always break you just the way you need. The way you deserve. So go on. Do itttt. B-Break for me.... For us.”  

Joker thought you were beautiful before, seeing you admit defeat and cum was a vision from heaven.  

Your cheeks darkened in color as your lips parted like the sea to allow carnal bliss to fall from its depths. You twitched uncontrollably in Joker’s hold, and he was more than happy to pull you in close as you fell apart on his cock.  

You rode the wave of pleasure and swept Joker along with the force. He was caught off guard by your tightening cunt and came with your name a whisper on his lips.  

No drug could ever compare to the high you gave him.  

He saw new sounds and heard colors that he couldn’t name. His breath came in short pants as he came down. Words failed him, his head was still too foggy to process the world around him.  

What could one say after an orgasm that intense? He just came inside your quivering hole, and he already wanted to do it again.   

He couldn’t find the energy to even think coherently! All he could do was flop down next to you and sort out his senses in the right categories.  

His paint-stained hands wandered aimlessly and began playing with the ends of your hair, much to your horror. While Joker floated in post-coital bliss, you fell back to your harsh reality.  

You let this monster have sex with you and even worse, you enjoyed it.  

You felt dirty, cheap, a literal failure. You allowed The Joker to touch you, to make you feel good. You came from his ministrations. God, you could feel him softening inside your used pussy. Your inner thighs felt sticky, and you shuddered realizing that The Joker came inside you. The room began to spin as you spiraled into a panic attack.  

What would dad think when he found out? What if you became pregnant with this monster’s child. You felt sick to your stomach and feeling Joker playing with your hair, as if nothing was wrong, tipped you over the edge.  

“Don’t touch me!” You wailed. Your shout made Joker come to and instinctively hold you closer to his chest. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on inside your head, but you didn’t have to be so loud. 

“Doll... I ahh uh, already touched ya.” He rubbed up and down your back despite you flinching from his touch.  

You made eye contact with the video recorder in the corner and Joker curiously followed your gaze. Oh. That would explain your sour mood. You were smart and deduced what he would do with the footage. “Listen Y/n..” 

A knock at the door interrupted Joker’s sentence. He didn’t move an inch as he granted whomever on the other side entry.  

You tried maintaining your modesty but it was a useless effort. You were bare as the day you were born in Joker’s arms and he wasn’t letting you go. 

Joker’s henchman walked in and struck a conversation with the clown, pretended as if you didn’t exist. You wanted to crawl into a hole and die you were so embarrassed.  

You didn’t notice what was going on until Joker snapped his fingers in your face. “Huh?” 

Joker rolled his eyes at your lack of awareness. He sat up straight and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “I said..... take a bath while I’m gone. I uh.. took your chain off for ya.”  

He pointed at your bare ankle that was in fact free of the heavy metal. You twisted your leg, feeling the freedom granted to you.  

You wanted to thank Joker but he was already walking out the door with his henchman. And just like that, you were alone. The silence was unbearable as the full reality hit you full force.  

You didn’t fight back. Why did you give in so easily? Why did you miss the warmth of Joker body against yours? Just what was wrong with you for craving his touch?  

Screw taking a bath, you ran straight towards the toilet to empty your stomach.  

Sleep did not come to you when your mind was abuzz with doubt. 

You paced the room while biting your nails and reliving your time spent with Joker over and over. You were beyond restless thinking about your uncertain future. What would Joker do now that he got what he wanted? 

Would you be killed off and discarded like trash? Would your family be given the chance to mourn your passing? Would they even know what became of you? There were too many questions and not enough answers. One thing was for certain, you refused to sit around and wait for your fate.  

For some unknown reason Joker removed your chain. It was a sliver of hope that you planned on exploiting.  

The heavy metal door loomed in the distance. Before it served as a reminder of how trapped you were; now it was a shining beacon of hope. Either coincidental or simply a miracle, Joker also took the elusive camera with him. Nothing was stopping you from running, and nothing was holding you back.  

Joker had slashed your clothes to ribbons but the woolen blanket on the mattress was still intact for you to wrap around your body.  

It left you feeling far too exposed, but you had no other option available. Once covered, you padded over to the door and turned the handle to freedom. 

The hallway was dark and ominous before you.  

You weren’t sure if you wanted to venture into the unknown. You looked at the barren cell you were forced to inhabit and back into the dark void, weighing the odds.  

You took the first step, then another, and another until you were walking with haste—desperately searching for an exit.  

Your heart was beating loudly in your ears as you stumbled across a door with light poking out underneath the frame. It was the only lead you had so far towards an exit. You slowly pushed it open and regretted it instantly.  

The room full of men all stopped their various conversations to stare you caught like a deer in headlights in the doorway. You quite literally walked into a den of wolves.  

“Well well. Look what we have here!” One guy catcalled.  

They all leered at your body poorly wrapped up in a blanket. It was obvious your purpose here at their hideout. Free entertainment.  

The door slammed shut behind you, trapping you again, only this time in far more hostile conditions. You berated yourself for leaving the safety of your cell if this was the cost. You could barely defend yourself against Joker. There were too many men here to even consider escaping.  

You backtracked right into a broad chest and the male laughed at you already cowering in fear.  

He roughly pulled your hair while another pair of hands ripped your blanket away to knead your breasts. Whistles and laughter broke out in the room at the sight. “The Boss been keepin’ this from us!? Look! She’s freshly used too!”  

You screamed as fingers stabbed their way into your cunt and explored inside. Their hands weren't like Jokers. There was no pleasure to be gained here and unlike before, your body did not warm up to the stimuli.  

You were in pain as they groped and fondled your body and despite Joker being the origin to all your problems, you cried out his name to save you. 

Someone yanked your hair again before shattering all your hopes with a handful of words. “Ya think the boss is gonna help you? You are nuthin’ to him! Just a warm hole for him to use. And now it's our turn.” 

You closed your eyes to block out the pain. The last of your fighting spirit faded away as a lone tear rolled down your cheek. 

Frost and Joker were waking back towards your room when they heard the loud commotion coming from the common room.  

It was well in the night and nothing of note should’ve excited the men to be so rowdy. Most of them should’ve been on patrols in the first place.  

Frost merely shrugged his shoulders and followed his Boss.  

Curiosity killed the cat, but Joker was not so simple minded. He knew something was wrong. He wasn't religious by any means, but he prayed that this didn’t involve you.  

He barged into the common room ready to scold his men when his worst fears came to light.  

Joker didn’t think, he simply acted until nothing else stood in his way to get to you. Frost could handle the aftermath of his rage—you were the only constant in Joker’s mind the second he opened the door and saw you in distress.  

He left you just a few hours prior, safe and accounted for in your room. He left to prepare better accommodations to reflect your newfound status in his life. Joker took great care of his possessions, and you deserved better than being tucked away in some dingy shipping container. You didn’t belong on the floor like a cheap whore. No, you were worthy to be displayed, dressed up like the doll Joker wanted you to be. 

 Never did he imagine he would return to this. 

He fought his way to your side and fell to his knees by your side. His green eyes were wide with an unknown emotion as they took in your battered form.  

He didn’t want to touch and accidentally hurt you any further yet something about the thousand-yard stare in your eyes told him you were no longer here to feel anything at all. Joker knew how ruthless his men were, but this was barbaric.  

He didn’t regret killing them after what they done. His only remorse was not making them suffer more before death.  

Joker gathered you up in his arms and tried shaking you back into focus. “Y/n? Y/n, c'mon doll! Look at me.. s-say something!?” He pleaded.  

You mumbled something inaudible and curled up into a ball.  

Rage. Guilt and surprisingly shame. Joker’s mind was wild with this flood of new emotions.  

He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t have a single cell of compassion in his body, yet the sight of his newest toy utterly broken (and not of his own doing) had him feeling remorseful.  

“I... I don’T.. I...” Joker gathered his thoughts with a deep inhale.  

Frost watched the intimate scene while kicking over a body. It was a bloody mess in here; however, that had to wait.  

Frost could tell his Boss needed some assistance. “I’ll run a bath.” Frost said offhandedly.  

It would point Joker in the right direction at least rather than rocking you back and forth on the floor to no avail. The comment snapped Joker out of his musing.  

Emerald eyes roamed over your sleeping form. “Bath. Y-Yeah uh she needs a uh.. bath.” 

He nodded to himself and slowly rose to his feet to carry you out of the common room. He passed up your old room in favor of his own that had more privacy. Not like it would matter. You had yet to speak.  

This was not the outcome Joker had planned. Even after he washed you clean and tucked you into bed— he sat by your side contemplating his next move.  

You were no longer the shiny doll he wanted on his shelf. His own men had ruined you. They took away your feisty demeanor and all conscience thought from you that made this game fun.  

Joker tried to get you to speak, to react to anything, but you remained stagnant, blinking owlishly at the wall until sleep finally took you.  Nothing of the defiant Y/n that Joker had grown to like remained.  

You left him with no other alternative. He got what he wanted, and it was time to move on.  

In three more days, it would mark your two-month long disappearance. Bruce would be a liar if he said he didn’t count the days if not the minutes that you were gone.  

He blamed himself for your capture and the boys tried their hardest to steer him in the right direction and not spiral into depression. Bruce loved all his children, but you were his by blood. You held a special place in Bruce’s heart and as such, he spent every waking second trying to find you. 

No expenses were spared, and any lead (no matter how small) were investigated. Joker was smart, but Bruce was smarter. He would find you.  

Dick and Tim investigated a possible lead and discovered where you were originally being held. You still had a sweet tooth and your favorite bakery recognized your custom order being placed and tipped off Wayne Enterprises about the person who picked it up. 

Unfortunately, The Joker moved you before Batman could arrive at the location but now they knew you were still alive. It strengthened their hopes in finding you safe and sound.  

Numerous rescue attempts were thwarted in the following weeks, but they never gave up. There would be another lead, they would have another chance to save you.  

All hope was not lost. 

Their patience was rewarded the day the Batcomputer picked up a signal on your tracker. It was finally online for the first time in months. Everyone scrambled to assemble at the pinned location. Bruce was ready for a fight and mentally prepared himself to do anything necessary to get you back.  

None of the boys were prepared to arrive at the back of your office building. It seemed to be a mistake, it had to be. Was Joker sending them on a wild goose chase? Bruce scanned the area but there was only one faint heat signature detected. His nerves were on edge, already assuming the worst.  

Bruce’s heart stopped beating when he saw a body lying in the delivery drop-off/ loading area. He didn’t wait for the others to secure the area. His father instincts were in overdrive as he rushed to your side, calling out your name.  

You were unresponsive with only a tattered blanket covering your shivering form. That’s when Bruce saw the bruises painting your body and the cast still present on your wrist. He didn’t want to believe that this battered woman was his spit-fire daughter.  

You were a shell of your former self when Bruce finally roused you awake. The fire that once blazed intently within your e/c eyes was gone and it was evident what The Joker did to you.  

“Bruce, look.” Dick said as he picked up something near your feet.  

Scattered around your body was a deck of playing cards. On the joker card a note was written in red.  

You can have her back Bats; I don’t like broken dolls. 

[reputayswift]

(☝️🥁✌️🥁☝️✌️🥁…wait, is this the song with the drums? 🤔)

I met a guy 🙋‍♂️ in the summer 🏖️ and I left him 🏃‍♀️💨🙍‍♂️ in the spring 🌷 he argued with me 🗣️🙄 about everything 🤷‍♀️ he had an:

ego 😎

and a temper 🤬

and a wandering eye 👀

he said he’s 6’2” 😌🧍‍♂️📏 and I’m like, “dude, nice try” 🤥🤏😭 but he was so much fun! 🥳 and he had such weird friends! 🤡🤡🤡 and he would take us out to parties and the night would never end! 👯‍♀️💃🪩🕺🌌 another:

☝️ song 🎶

✌️ club 🌃

☝️✌️ bar 🍻

✌️✌️ dance 💃🕺

and when he said something wrong 🗣️🤚😡 he’d just fly me to france 💁‍♀️✈️🇫🇷🥖 so I miss him some nights 😔🌠 when I’m feeling depressed 🙍‍♀️⛈️ (‘til I remember every time he made a pass at my friend 🤔💭😘🧍‍♀️) do I:

love him? 😍🥰

hate him? 🏃‍♂️🗡️🏃‍♀️💨🤬

I guess it’s up and down 🤷‍♀️⬆️⬇️ if I HAD to choose I would say right now…🤔

I WANNA:

get him back! 🏃‍♂️🗡️🏃‍♀️💨

make him really jealous 😠🟩 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

make him feel BAD 😭💔👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

I WANNA:

get him back! 🏃‍♂️💕🏃‍♀️💨

(‘cause then again 🤔 I really miss him 😔💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 and it makes me real SAD 😭💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨)

I WANT:

SWEET revenge 🏃‍♂️🗡️🤪

him again…😔💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

to get him BACK 😩 (BACK, back…)

so I write him all these letters 📝👩‍💻 and I throw them in the trash 🫳📃🗑️ ‘cause I miss the way he kisses 😔💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 and the way he made me laugh 😔💭🤭 yeah, I pour my little heart out 👩‍💻🤳🏻💕 but as I’m hitting send 👩‍💻👉💌 I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends 👩‍💻💭🫣🤢🥴🙄 because everyone KNEW 🧐🧐🧐🧐 all of the SHIT that he’d do 💩 he said I was the only girl 🗣️🤚🤭 but that just wasn’t the truth!! 🧍‍♀️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 and when I told him how he hurt me 🤬🗯️ he’d tell me I was trippin’ 🙄💬 but I AM my father’s daughter 👨‍⚕️🙋‍♀️ (so maybe I could fix him 🤷‍♀️👩‍⚕️🩺🧍‍♂️)

I WANNA:

get him back! 🏃‍♂️🗡️🏃‍♀️💨

make him really jealous 😠🟩 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

make him feel BAD 😭💔👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

I WANNA:

get him back! 🏃‍♂️💕🏃‍♀️💨

(‘cause then again 🤔 I really miss him 😔💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 and it makes me real SAD 😭💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨)

I WANT:

SWEET revenge 🏃‍♂️🗡️🤪

him again…😔💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

to get him BACK 😩 (and then? 🤔 🗣️ and then!!!!)

to get him BACK (back…back…)

I WANNA:

key his car…🚙🔑🤏😈

make him lunch 🍲✨👌😇🪽

break his heart…💔💥🔨😈 (then be the one to stitch it up ❤️‍🩹🪡🤏😇🪽)

kiss his face 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 (with an UPPERCUT 🤕💥🥊😈)

meet his mom 😇🤝👵 (just to tell her HER SON SUCKS!! 🗣️🗯️🫢)

I WANNA key his car…🚙🔑🤏😈 I WANNA make him lunch 🍲✨👌😇🪽I WANNA break his heart…💔💥🔨😈 stitch it right back up ❤️‍🩹🪡🤏😇🪽I WANNA kiss his face 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 with an UPPERCUT 🤕💥🥊😈 I WANNA meet his mom 😇🤝👵 and tell her HER SON SUCKS!! 🗣️🗯️🫢

🗣️👏 I WANNA:

get him back! 🏃‍♂️🗡️🏃‍♀️💨

make him really jealous 😠🟩 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

make him feel BAD 😭💔👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

🗣️👏 I WANNA:

get him back! 🏃‍♂️💕🏃‍♀️💨

(‘cause then again 🤔 I really miss him 😔💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 and it makes me real SAD 😭💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨)

I WANT:

SWEET revenge 🏃‍♂️🗡️🤪

him again…😔💭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

to get him BACK 😩 (and then? 🤔 🗣️ and then!!!)

to get him BACK, back, BAaAaCK…

🎸🎸🎸 I’ll get him! I’ll get him! I’ll get him! I’ll get him 😈💕BACK!!💕😈 (🗣️👏🗣️👏) Get him back!! (🗣️👏🗣️👏)

🍺🥴 I'm gonna get him sooooo good, he's not even gonna know what hit him…he’s gonna love me and hate me at the same time 😇😈💕 (🗣️👏 you better get him BACK!) shsjdidk I got him good I got him REALLY good 🗣️🍻🥴

[diejager]

Oh, that’s such a good point about Ghost maybe turning a blind eye to his suspicions/observations 🤔 I can totally see that happening, given that he is not easy to trust people and is a ride or die once he lets someone in

and yeah, I can definitely see Price justifying his actions now that you’ve mentioned that quote of his. Fits his wayward character perfectly tbh.

And yay for you being interested in writing the Ghost fic😱 I’ll be eagerly waiting for it! And in the meantime I’d love your recs, if you can find them🤗

Right now, these are the only ones I remember and could find(I also included other characters in case ppl are interested in them):

The (Scottish) Cabin in the Woods by Charlie_M

Pairing: Ghost x reader x Soap

"Let's go camping," Soap said. "It'll be fun," Soap said. "A lot of fun," the psychopathic serial killer said. You didn't say anything, you were too busy trying not to get kidnapped - and failing.

Cabin in the woods (Director's uncut) by CaptainGremlin

Pairing: König x reader x Horangi

You and your friend group are definitely not a part of a typical slasher movie. Two weird guys you met at the corner store somewhere in rural Austria definitely not serial killers. You are definitely going to be saved. You are definitely not going to like being their little trophy.

The Forest's Wailings by mikatheartist

Pairing: König x reader

It's the end of the session, and finals are finally over! You and your friends definitely deserve a little break. One of your more reckless friends, Julian, suggests going to his family's cabin as a vacation. Of course, you have your reservations at first, but ultimately you decide to go. Things go well. But here and there, you can't help but hear shuffling and skittering... Just what exactly is in that forest? TLDR; You and a bunch of friends go to a cabin in a supposedly haunted forest. what could go wrong lol

I’ll add more when I find them!

[certifiedfreec]

i can’t stop thinking about neighbor!graves… pt. 2 🤔

thank goodness for the nextdoor app! (pt. 1)

saw this pic on pinterest and thought…yeah…that’s our man <3

🏡 you and your cuddly cat theo are finally settled into your new house! it was a much-needed change to the mundane routine, and the place is adorable. you ultimately picked this one because of its large windows- perfect for theo to sit in the sun and watch what was happening outside. it also has hardwood floor- no more cat clawing at the carpet. hooray! you thought that your sweet kitty was handling the move well, but you notice that he’s hiding under furniture more often. all the articles online said it could take time for cats to adjust to a new place, so you chalk it up to that.

🏡 one afternoon you drag your first big grocery store haul into the house, calling out for your precious theo as you close the door, but he doesn’t show. hm. he normally scampers right up to you when you’re home. you reason that he’s still hiding somewhere, so you go ahead and get started on dinner. after still no sign of him hours later that night, you resolve to checking every corner of the house, and he’s nowhere to be found!! a panic rushes through as you hurry to turn on all your house lights out front and scope your yard real quick, unable to find him in any shrubs or plants. fully planning on walking the entirety of your neighborhood and knocking on every door to make a search party, you suddenly have an idea: maybe there’s a neighborhood app i can post his picture on.

🏡 you immediately do just that, finding the nextdoor app and punching in your information. you post a picture of theo- your favorite one where he’s cuddling with his beloved bird toy- and write a brief caption saying you’re new to the area and that you’d be more than happy to give cash to whoever finds him. within minutes, you’re receiving all kinds of good luck messages and “nope, haven’t seen him”s, and they all make your stomach swirl. damn cat. he’s probably living it up while you’re sitting there terrified for his wellbeing. as you’re waiting beside your phone and watching all the messages roll in, you’re fully prepared to stay up all night and start driving the streets, until a few minutes later a new private message bubbles up onto the screen.

🏡 it’s a picture of a man, pretty fit-looking from the few features you can see, and he’s holding a cat that scarily resembles theo. do you dare feel relieved? you read the comment underneath the photo. “is this him? little guy followed me home on my jog. let me know!” you’re about to cry tears of joy as you zoom in on the picture, pinpointing the unique stripes around theo’s eyes. that was in fact your little guy. you answer in a blur, “yes, that’s him! thank you so much! can i come get him?” the man, whose nextdoor display name is “phillip g.,” answers you in seconds. “i’ll bring him over. what’s your house number?” you send it to him, and he tells you he’s actually a handful of houses down from you. you allow yourself to feel relieved as you wait those dastardly two minutes, nearly jumping when you hear a firm knock at your door.

🏡 you open the door, and you find theo cuddled up to what can only be described as pure handsomeness. look what the cat dragged in- literally. “phillip g.” has dirty blond hair and tan skin, with pale blue eyes and a rugged scar that rests on his sharp cheekbone. he’s got a perfect straight nose and the slightest blond stubble, and he’s wearing a pair of black sweats and a dark grey tee that cling temptingly to him. “there you are,” you finally say, not entirely sure if you’re directing it toward him or your cat (where has this beauty been all your life??). part of you honestly can’t blame theo for following this guy- yeah, he was definitely living it up while you were panicking.

🏡 “hey there,” he replies to you with the most delicious twinge of southern drawl, and you quickly step aside to give him room to come in- he’s pleasantly surprised that you’re even better-looking in person ;) “let’s get ya inside, bud.” phillip steps into your home, prompting theo to hop off and trot over to his food bowl like nothing happened, as if you weren’t just about to go DEFCON 1 for him. it makes you both snicker, and then you thank the gorgeous stranger profusely before trying to offer him some money. he only shoos it away with a “no problem, he’s a great lil’ man,” and he explains to you that theo started following him back to his house during his jog that afternoon. when he got home, he immediately climbed onto his lap. the traitor!! you’re in disbelief; he’s never cared for other people that deeply. you wonder if theo knows something you don’t- perhaps he’s a feline matchmaker? 🙏

🏡 while you two chat about the neighborhood, theo struts back over to the entry area where you are and brushes up against phillip, almost like he wants to make you look like the worst owner ever. “i promise he likes me,” you laugh, and phillip flashes you an unforgettable grin. “i guess i’ll take your word for it,” he teases, and then he adds sincerely, “i’m actually gonna miss him, y’know, he was my little amigo today.” he kneels down to scratch behind theo’s ears and god does his back look good in that shirt, and you don’t even think as you blurt out “well, feel free to visit him whenever you want.” he stands back up to his full height, smiling again. you barely miss the once-over he gives you. “i just might take ya up on that.”

🏡 you’re surprised to see that he actually does! phillip makes a point of stopping by during his jogs sometimes to check on theo (and you, obviously <3), and man oh man does he look fantastic all out of breath in his workout gear :’) he also fills you in on the drama at all the other houses- a wealth of knowledge, this guy is! turns out those jogs are a great way to collect information- he’s very strategic, it seems. theo acts like jesus christ himself has arrived at your doorstep every time he’s over, of course, bounding into his arms and purring uncontrollably. you feel ridiculous when you get a pang of jealousy toward your cat- if only you knew all the ways phillip wanted to handle you :))

🏡 it all feels so nice and neighborly with the way phillip’s checking up on you both, that southern charm working its way into all your thoughts late at night. he hits you with the occasional “sweetheart,” or “darlin’,” and it never fails to make your heart (and something else) pound. you end up exchanging numbers the next time he jogs by, and he uses it at the perfect opportunity to see if you wanna tag along on his next trip around the neighborhood. he totally doesn’t just want to see you in some tight leggings… you tell him you’re not the greatest runner, so he insists on walking instead :’) he’s such a sweetheart!

🏡 like clockwork he’s at your door a few evenings later, and you’ve changed into some comfy clothes that he immediately wants to tear off of you. theo’s incessantly demanding his phillip cuddles, snuggling into his toned arms with no intention of moving. that stunning neighbor of yours looks at you with a mischievous grin. “say, why don’t we bring ‘im along?”

🏡 it’s equal parts endearing and ridiculous, the sight of you and phillip taking turns holding the most spoiled cat in the world during your walk <3 part of you likes to think theo has decided your fate- and you’re not opposed to it at all. it’s a nice evening, and phillip ends up telling you while you’re gossiping about the other neighbors that his career in the military has always prevented him from having a pet of his own. he doesn’t reveal much about it, just that it demands long periods of time from him, and seeing theo has actually done lots for his war-hardened spirit. poor baby, there’s so many other ways you could help him relieve some of that stress :((

🏡 there’s something you say that must kinda insinuate that, because suddenly you’re rerouting to his house so he can get you both some water. might as well stay for dinner too, he’s quick to add ;) he’s just got such a big crush on you that he can hardly stand it! theo already knows the lay of the land when you go inside, and he proceeds to dart off somewhere in the spacious home while you admire phillip’s minimally rustic décor. no wonder theo escaped here, you think. phillip gets your glass ready, but before he hands it to you he puts down a fresh bowl of water specially for your precious boy next to the temporary litter box and food he must’ve picked up for him when he escaped that day :’) yeah, that’s a man right there- look how good he cares for your baby! he could take care of you like that too!! <33

🏡 neither of you really care about the water at this point, and phillip decides that this is the perfect time to show your own kitty some lovin’ ;)) there’s not much buildup needed for you to end up completely spread open on his soft bed, workout clothing shed immediately before his skillful fingers are pumping and curling in your soaking pussy, hitting that sweet spot scarily fast. you always thought he was a sweetie, but you learn that he’s got an ego on him, wanting to hear you beg to cum all over his hand :/ you’ll do anything he asks though, and you’re soon rewarded with that sweet, hot release that coats his digits :’) he makes you clean one of his fingers while he licks your slick off the other- you guys just make a great team <3

🏡 you thought his fingers stretched you? his thick cock practically splits you apart, and he’s cooing at you “doin’ so good for me, darlin,” “knew ya could take it, sweetheart,” “that’s it, baby,” as he watches you bounce along his entire length. your flushed face, your little moans, it’s the prettiest show he’s ever seen! :’)) he’s stopped making you beg to orgasm at this point since the tight circles he’s rubbing on your clit are producing so many, but he is making you tell him who’s getting you to feel this good. “tell me, darlin,’ use your words. who’s makin’ you cum so much, huh?”

🏡 it’s incredible- phillip fucks as good as he looks! he must have more stamina from all that jogging. he puts you on all fours, arching your back with his hand as he feverishly rocks his hips into yours. he loves to watch you suck all of him in-you’ve never felt this full! not much longer after he starts pounding into your tight cunt from this angle, he’s groaning your name along with a strained “fuuuuuck,” and you feel his warm release coat your insides. he’s so glad he got that second workout in!

🏡 you both hop into his unbelievably nice shower to clean up, and pretty soon you’re drifting off to sleep in his bed, whole body sore from getting taken care of so thoroughly :’) phillip holds you the whole night, but when you wake up the next morning he’s got theo in his arms, who is happily purring away. you realize that the little fucker is responsible for all of this, and maybe he’s just as strategic as his neighbor-slash-future-parent. phillip is ridiculously smug when he chuckles at you, scratching behind your sweet boy’s ears. “i hate to tell ya, darlin’, but i think theo likes me more.”