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j0kers-light · 2 months

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His Lighthouse: Humble Beginnings (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Humble Beginnings

series summary:

Y/n is an aspiring writer living in Gotham City and struggling to find her next muse. Her recent novel is getting all the buzz, earning her far more attention than she signed up for. But when a chance encounter results in her nursing The Joker back to health, will she find the time to write another best seller or will her own story become front page of the Gotham Gazette?

chapter summary:

Joker promises Y/n a night you’ll never forget but when has J’s ideas ever went according to plan?

authors note:

Please don’t throw any tomatoes at me! I am so far behind on my story that I’ve decided to do back to back chapters! No oneshots in between 😤 I’m super excited to see the reactions to this chapter. It reads like a filler, but it’s jammed packed with vital information. Do enjoy! 🖤✨

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse @jaysmentalspace

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

Last Chapter | Next Chapter

“Do you trust me?”

You shouldn’t have. Common sense begged you not to. Apparently, you had none when it came to Joker. You just nodded and did as he asked.

The sidewalk outside Tiffany’s was still empty but you paid it little mind. Your focus was on the black SUV parked near the curb. Behind it you could see the normal bustling sight of Gotham. No one dared to cross the invisible line. Just how did Joker pull off his elaborate stunts, the world may never know. It was none of your business anyway.

You blindly trusted your clown and slid into the backseat only to discover there was no driver.

You hoped that one would join you. Joker proved in the Vineyard that he was a terrible driver.

You didn’t want to relive that horrifying experience again. Yet much to your dismay, Joker came strolling down the sidewalk to open the driver’s door.

He made himself comfortable and opened his mouth to speak. It took a split second for him to realize that you weren’t in the passenger seat.

Joker’s work mode activated instantaneously. It was only a short walk from the storefront to the car but a professional only needed thirty seconds to grab you. His mind was racing with endless possibilities to get you back.

In that moment, Joker showed you just how much he cared about you when he hit the steering wheel with a curse spewing from his lips.

He looked a nervous wreck so you decided to end his mini suffering before it truly began. “Joker, I’m right here.”

You waved from the backseat and he deflated like a balloon realizing that you were okay. No one took you. You were safe and accounted for.

He was relieved to say the least but his hands were still shaking. Hopefully you didn’t notice.

“Y/n.. ya almost gave me a scare! Whatcha doing in the backseat hmm?” He patted the passenger seat in earnest, “I want you riding shotgun!”

You gave Joker a scare? Now that was one for the history books.

His green eyes still had traces of panic in them and it made you feel guilty. You weren’t where you were supposed to be; and it caused Joker to panic. Losing you was perhaps his only fear and it was all because you miscalculated which seat he wanted you to occupy.

All of this could have been avoided if he gave you better instructions; you didn’t want to point fingers tonight.

You said nothing as you climbed over the center console and plopped down in the passenger seat.

Joker simply blinked in surprise. “Well. Ha, that’s uhh, one way to do it.” He laughed and turned the SUV on.

You were trying to get comfy on the leather seats in your silk dress. It wasn’t the same Mercedes he drove in Massachusetts; you remembered the dash wasn’t matte and the seats were cloth then, not leather. Regardless of the changes, it was a clean ride.

“The keys are clean my boy.”

Your comment made Joker eye you sideways. He chalked it up to one of your Blüdhaven phrases since you didn’t translate further.

J hummed in that ambiguous tone of his. “Uh thanks? It’s yours actually.” He turned onto the highway while you proceeded to error 404.

It was still hard to judge if Joker was joking or being serious about things. He always left you guessing.

“Run that back?” You asked. Ah, he knew what that saying meant.

He briefly glanced over at you before his eyes returned to the road. He wasn’t one for repeating himself, yet you were breaking that personal quirk. “I’m saying….. it’s yours doll. I thought you might want—”

“YOU BOUGHT ME A G-WAGON?!”

You heard Joker grumble about it technically not being a legal purchase but your mind was elsewhere. Morgana was right. Joker was already spoiling you with things. That sneaky florist knew this whole time!

The devil on your shoulder was cackling for days. ‘Good pussy will get you anything. Secure the bag!!’

You shook your head so you could hear Joker ramble off the key features.

“It has custom cup holders, heated/cooled seats, annnnd its bulletproof!”

Pause. Did you hear that one correctly?

“J, you’re making me nervous.” What did he expect you to encounter on the road? The Batmobile? You hardly went anywhere to warrant owning a car. J didn’t waste time a second replying.

“Good. I don’t want you takin’ the subway anyyy-more. If you don’t li-Ke this model, I’ll uhh, get whatever car ya want but it will be armored.”

That was his only requirement and you were reminded of the stale air between Joker and Two Face. Things were unresolved on that front but you didn’t know if the former district attorney was the person behind the Manila folder incident. If not then you had two enemies lurking around.

Someone had The Joker cautious. It was a fact too hard to ignore.

Joker had many enemies however this one took things personal and that made them ten times more dangerous. Your safety was J's number one priority. The least you could do was comply with his wishes. That didn’t mean you couldn’t have a little fun beforehand.

“So, i-if I want a Prius instead?” You led on. “You’d get me one?”

Joker looked away from the road to gawk at you. The man looked positively offended.

“I am noT—”

You started tapping the dashboard after looking ahead. “Brake! Brake! Brake! Brake!” Your poor heels were stomping on an imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side. Anything to avoid a head on collision since Joker seemed incapable of noticing.

Joker finally came to his senses and swerved into the merging lane thus avoiding the sudden congestion up ahead.

The car behind Joker unfortunately collided with the stand still traffic and began a multi car pile-up. Joker thought you freaking out was the funniest thing ever; you on the other hand were too busy questioning why you let him drive. Again.

No mode of transportation was safe if Joker was behind the wheel.

You clutched your head and stared out the window, yet the passing road signs made you perk up. “Are we headed to the airport? Dear Lord, I can’t stomach flying after this.” You waved at the mess on the highway behind you.

Joker’s hand came to a rest on your thigh, right as he passed by the exit ramp for the Archie international airport. A part of you wanted to yell at him to keep both hands on the wheel but his hand felt nice where it was.

Joker promised you a night you’d never forget, you weren’t so sure when that would start.

“Shhh Bunny. You’ll see.” He squeezed your fears away. “You trust me, yeah?”

He didn’t see your eye roll. “That’s debatable.” You mumbled.

Joker scoffed but kept quiet.

Despite it being dark out, any native knew where this road led. J saw you tense up out of the corner of his eye. A mile marker made your blood run cold.

Blüdhaven 24 miles.

“Joker, t-turn the car around. I don’t…” You saw the familiar but foreign Blüdhaven skyline in the distance. “I d-don’t wanna be here.” You whispered.

It was so close, yet so far. You never wanted to return to this living hell but Joker gave you no other choice. He kept the vehicle on its course despite you tearing up in the passenger seat.

“Take me home, J. I’m serious!”

He thought about turning around, if not for an incoming text message on the dash ruining everything. Somehow you didn’t see it since you were staring out the window in a panic.

He clicked his tongue and exited the highway, his mind racing to work around this set back. Immediately the SUV was met with the rough pothole-ridden streets you grew up on. There was no doubt where you were now. You were getting nauseous just thinking about it.

“Take you home? I am, silly!” Joker giggled. To your horror, he turned onto your old street and began slowing down. What part of this was supposed to be a good night?

This was a nightmare.

Joker parked on the street, in your old, designated parking spot and cut the engine. You had tunnel vision and failed to hear Joker calling your name.

“I uh, hacked your manager’s office to get the address. Hope ya don’t mind.. But uhhh nice place! You gonna inviTe me up, Bunny?”

You shook your head in the negative.

Joker’s plans were already ruined but you just had to make matters worse by being a stick in the mud. Joker clicked his tongue again and came around the SUV to open your door. He didn’t expect to see you crying when he got there.

“No. Nooooo no noo. Stop that, Bunny. Look. At. Me.” He frowned when you did the opposite. He was getting irritated but he refused to let you see. All it took was a little patience when you got like this. Patience! You know, something he severely lacked.

Joker sighed and reached inside the wagon to tilt your face towards him.

“Focus on me, my Light. That’s it. On me. He’s not here. I am, and I wanna see your place. Uh, in an old blog post you mentioned you had a errr, nice view? Can you show me?”

He was pulling out all the strings, and still, you weren’t budging.

“C’mon baby doll..” J kept his focus on you but also on the street. Blüdhaven was infamous for a reason and he didn’t want you outside for too long drawing unnecessary attention. The SUV alone drew enough.

He had a team assigned to run surveillance; however, they weren’t here yet due to the setback. Getting you situated inside was his first priority then he could check on their ETA.

That is, if you cooperated.

You looked ready to faint amid your panic attack.

Joker’s methods were a touch cruel however he knew facing one’s fears helped in the long run. He never fully understood why you avoided your hometown when it was only forty-five minutes away—at least if you drove fast like him it was.

You had baggage that was long overdue for unpacking, and he wanted to be there with you when it happened. He wished someone had been there for him years ago but all he got was a bad rep and solitary confinement.

Bottling up your trauma wasn’t healthy. This great knowledge came from experience and Joker didn’t want you ending up like him.

“Y/n, you still with me?”

Joker’s voice was muffled by the ringing in your ears, yet you nodded your head regardless. He gave you an awkward hug— you still seated and him standing, desperately trying to get you out of the vehicle.

His actions worked. You sought out his warmth and followed the tugging motion until you were standing on the curb. He half carried half dragged you into the apartment building in an ironic twist of events.

You were reminded that you carried Joker the same way when the two of you first met. History was repeating itself. However, in this case the roles were reversed and there was no elevator. Joker picked you up bridal style and carried you to your old residence. Along the way you came to and asked to be put down.

You wanted to walk on your own and you led Joker right up to the apartment door. “T-This is me. Or it used to be.” You blinked and added, “I don’t have the key.”

Joker scoffed, “Don’t neeeed one.” His shoulder made quick work of things and you glared at his illegal methods.

“J, this isn’t my place anymore! What if someone else is renting?”

A lot could happen in a year. You moved out so fast that your landlord didn’t have time to fine you for ditching the agreement. Technically you still had a lease here and that much was evident when you walked in. Nothing had changed. Sure it was dusty but bigger pieces of furniture and some personal items that you left behind were still present.

You lifted a dust cover and smiled seeing your favorite end table, scuff marks and all, hidden underneath.

“Oh. Me and Nia thrifted this back in high school!” You were confused why you didn’t take it with you until you tried lifting it.

“Yup still heavy.” You moved on and didn’t notice Joker moving it near the door for you. Anything you wanted to take back, he would.

Overtime you started to relax and Joker admired the way you shuffled around digging up old memories. And to think you were initially too scared to come up here. His Bunny was so skittish, all you needed was a little nudge of encouragement.

He noticed that most of your finds were too heavy, and it made him think out loud. “Was my Bunny in a hurry to leave?”

You set down a box of things, sighing. “Yeah. This is the first time I’ve been here since...”

Joker noticed you hesitate and filled in the blanks for you. No wonder you were so against coming here. Joker felt like an idiot.

This was your first visit since your assault, and you continued to rub in his mistake.

“I moved back in with Mama and Dad. It took months to get back on my feet. Dad and some of my cousins moved my stuff for me since I couldn’t bring myself to come back. It was essentials only and it barely fit inside the U-haul. I moved to Gotham with a fraction of my life. I had to start over with absolutely nothing.”

Seeing the space around him was proof of your resilience.

Joker unlocked another piece to the Y/n puzzle. Everything you had today, you earned with nothing but grit and determination. He felt stupid for thinking you were a spoiled, entitled brat.

You were stronger than people gave you credit for. You deserved the world and then more.

Joker came over but stopped short of touching you. He was uncertain if you wanted physical contact right now judging by your closed off body language. However, J thought you shouldn’t be alone, so he tested the water to gauge your reaction.

For starters, he dropped his unique speech pattern and talked to you straight. A trend you noticed he did exclusively for you.

“Anything you want, I’ll have my boys bring back for you.” He moved his hand until his pinky bumped into your index finger. It made you crack a smile and intertwine your fingers with Joker’s.

Such a small gesture held a bigger meaning. You silently thanked Joker for being considerate. After a while you turned to address him.

“R-Really? You can do that?”

Joker feigned offense, staring at your dainty hand looped around his rougher one. The contrast in color had him mesmerized but he heard your question loud and clear.

He let go of your hand to tilt your chin up, and his words brushed against your lips like satin. “Sweetheart. Say the word and it’s yours. You really should believe me on that.”

J backed you into a wall grinning wildly, until you started blinking like mad. “What’s wrong?” He knew that trigger of yours all too well and backed off.

You didn’t let him go far. You buried your face into Joker’s suit and held on tight. “I’m sorry, just a bad memory here.”

Seconds after you spoke, you were deposited on top of the kitchen counter. The surface was cool through your silk dress, but Joker’s hands were warm on your hips.

He was quick to dote on you. “What’s the story?”

A long one if you were being honest. You weren’t up to retelling it, yet one look into Joker’s curious eyes made you cave. He was earnest in his desire to know more about you and that included your horrid past.

There was no harm in sharing so with a shaky sigh, you jumped right in.

“Um l-long story short, I was accused of cheating after he saw a post I was tagged in with a fan of mine. He punched the wall, almost hitting me. I was terrified he would hurt me, but he ‘apologized’ with diamond earrings the next day.”

Joker looked up and sure enough, he could see the indentation you spoke of. Someone had tried to patch the wall up, key word; tried. Joker saw nothing but red.

“Give me a location and I’ll kill him.”

You shrugged J off. The last thing you wanted was Joker killing someone in your name, even if it was your ex. You were trying to forget and move on with your life, despite the process being slow.

Joker was curious as to why you hopped off the counter.

He followed your path as you hovered near the sink. You smiled at a burn mark you found there. Your emotions changed like a drop of a hat; he honestly couldn’t keep up. You reminisced about your Housewarming party when the same friend Mia set down a casserole dish straight from the oven and burned the countertop.

It brought you back to happier times and you were glad to know good memories were mixed in with the bad.

The discovery lighted the mood but Joker couldn’t overlook that this apartment was filled with signs of abuse, hidden in plain sight.

You didn’t realize that you were surrounded by the signs until you gave Joker a tour, pointing things out left and right. It was nearing time for his surprise to begin, yet Joker couldn’t bring himself to interrupt you.

The fancy dinner he planned tonight would have to wait for another day due to safety concerns. Plus he rather enjoyed following you around and hearing you share stories of your past.

It wasn’t the memorable night that he had originally designed, moreover, being in your presence was more than enough.

A shame you were expecting something big to occur. He’d make something up on the fly to appease you.

You led Joker past the barren bedroom out to your balcony. It was the size of a broom closet compared to your massive square footage back at home. You really moved up in life and it showed.

“This is the view I was talking about. I used to stay out here for hours. Just me and my thoughts, planning a future I could only dream of.”

Joker whistled at the grand sight of Gotham City in the distance.

It truly looked like a beacon of hope from here especially since he now knew about your old living situation back inside. You dreamed of escaping it all and starting anew, and it all originated from this balcony.

Joker’s eyes strayed from the skyline down at you.

His Light bathing in the moonlight. The cool blue hue highlighted your features in ways Joker could’ve never imagined. You were gorgeous, even if there was a wistful expression on your face that he longed to erase.

Joker tapped your shoulder to get your attention. You turned with a soft hum, but it was cut short by J kissing you.

It was full of passion with a touch of desperation.

You weren’t defined by your past. You were free to live out the dreams you created, and he wanted to provide it for you if only you would allow him to.

J shifted to deepen the kiss, but you beat him to it by pushing him away. You said something under breath before clearing your throat.

‘Always running away.’ Joker wryly thought. He had a split-second idea of handcuffing you to him before he shook it away.

He found you removing your heels in order to climb up the dingy fire escape. And to his surprise you were standing on the ledge, Titanic style.

“Uh… Bun?” His hands reached out to balance you. He was met with your carefree laugh floating in the breeze.

“I used to come up here dozens of times, J.” You turned around to look down at him. “It's safe.”

A rusty groan followed by a loud pop proved your words otherwise. You yelped when your balance gave way to the beam breaking and if not for Joker’s tight grip on your waist, you would have tumbled down four stories.

Thank goodness for his fast reflexes.

“I got ya doll! Don’t look down... Don’T! Look..” A dumb order to follow when your head was hanging over the edge. You elected to close your eyes until Joker pulled you back over.

The two of you collapsed back on the safe portion of the balcony in a fit of emotions. You shaking with Joker gently rocking you.

“I got you Bunny.” He kissed the crown of your head, holding onto you for dear life. You were nodding along to anything he said in your state of shock.

“I had plansss for us to stay here after a prior engagement buT. Why don’t I drop you off at your parents instead, yeah?”

This was his idea of a night you’ll never forget?

You refused to believe it. Something must’ve come up for him to be so spontaneous. J didn’t make you get all dolled up and drive you out of Gotham City for nothing. He had to have something bigger up his sleeve for later.

For now, you feigned ignorance. “W-Where are you gonna stay?”

Joker pulled back just enough to give you an, ‘are you kidding me’ glare.

“Right. Y-You have a hideout here in town. National threat and all. Um, if you drop me off at my parents, they’ll hog me for days. I haven’t visited them since I moved to Gotham.”

Were you rambling? You couldn’t tell. Good thing Joker loved your voice and had the patience to listen to what you had to say. He just repositioned you better on his lap and played with your gold bracelet as you filled in the silence.

He hated that you got so pretty all for nothing. Joker was getting fed up with this coward following him around and threatening your safety.

He’d get to the bottom of that situation later. As for now..

“Then stay as long as ya like.” Joker chimed in. He regretted saying it the second it left his lips.

You twisted around until you saw Joker’s eyes alit by the moon. He looked sincere yet you spotted his curt smile. The boy was drowning in self loathing.

You called his bluff. “I thought this trip was about us.”

“It issssss. I’ll uh find something to do while you visit the folks.” His eerie smirk made you wince.

“Let me guess you’ll commit some elaborate crime that’ll attract Nightwing’s attention?” Your fingers toyed with the lapels on J’s suit. “Please don’t stir up too much trouble, J. Blüdhaven is a lot different than—”

Joker’s huff cut you off and a shiver went down your spine hearing his voice drop an octave. “Thanks for the warning, Sugar but that’s the goal. I wanT to cause a fuss. Ya see... I have some uh, loose ends, and whaddya know? I brought scissors.”

You gulped and rested your head back on Joker’s chest. If you ignored his ominous words, then they wouldn’t affect you.

That straight up sounded like a hit list waiting to happen. You wanted no parts in Joker’s line of work.

After a while, only the sound from the nearby interstate and the feeling of Joker’s fingers running up your spine was relevant.

Your mind was adrift with imaginary scenarios where Joker could meet your parents, but alas it was too risky.

Not only did your dad run the streets back in the day, he still had active connections and would recognize Joker on the spot. Plus, your mom was like the female version of Sherlock.

Joker wouldn’t stand a chance. But a girl could wish. And your clown was already ten steps ahead of you plotting ways to make it happen.

He had to make up for this failure of a date somehow.

Joker let you drive the way back to your parents. Not because you were terrified of his driving, (he just giggled at your seething glare when he accidentally went down a one-way street), but the neighborhood was hard to give verbal directions to.

Little did you know, Joker knew exactly where your parents lived but that was a tidbit for another day.

He rather enjoyed watching you behind the wheel. Like a true Blüdhaven native, you drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the gear shift, riding low. You navigated past potholes with ease and your driving skills were far more impressive since Joker held your heels, allowing you to drive barefoot.

His girl was a sight to see, and he told you this at every stop light.

You tried to not let J’s words make you flustered but with his silver tongue that feat was virtually impossible.

You pulled the SUV a few cars down from the house and shifted into park. The street was so familiar yet foreign, it gave you Deja vu.

You used to read books at the basketball court down the corner and you busted your lip open skating into Ms. Morrison’s mailbox one Saturday afternoon a few yards away. It was still bent at an odd angle if you squinted hard enough...

“Everything alright?”

Joker’s voice brought you back to the present.

“Y-yeah, sorry. Um can you hand me my shoes and I’ll be outta your hair.”

You yelped when Joker yanked you over the console by the back of your neck.

His shaky breath fanned over your lips like a dragon’s ire. “You.. are.. noT.. a.. burden, my Light. Never think that.” J kissed you in between words, “I’m gonna help ya with your heels, mkay?”

He didn’t give you a chance to argue. J was already out of his seat and walking around the back of the car to the driver’s side. Joker opened the door and made grabby hands at your feet. You bent your leg so it stuck out the car and into Joker’s awaiting hand. His hands were so warm against your skin it made you shiver.

And of course, Joker noticed. All he did was snort and resume his task.

He fastened your heels back onto your feet and helped you step out of the SUV. The engine was still running but you stared up at Joker, waiting for a proper goodbye.

You and Joker were two idiots standing in the street just staring at each other. Thankfully it was dark enough so that noisy neighbors couldn’t peer out of their windows and see you embracing The Joker.

Now that would be a fun welcome home surprise. You rather not be the talk of town for a second time, thank you very much.

You didn’t know what to say so you blurted out the first thing on your mind. “I’ll call you I guess?”

Joker hummed. It sounded like an affirmative, yet his hands were like iron bars around your waist. You tried leaning away, his hands simply tightened further. “J... are you gonna let me go?”

An approaching car’s headlights lit up the street, and it startled Joker out of his random head space.

He finally released you onto the sidewalk. It was your cue to walk to the door, even if you didn’t understand Joker’s odd way of saying goodbye. He was still staring as you headed up the stoop. He was acting weird, yet you chose not to dwell on it too much.

Nineteen knocks later and your mother answered the door in her bathrobe wielding a bat. The sight made you arch an eyebrow.

“Who the f—Y/n that you? MY BABY!” She dropped the bat to sweep you up into her arms. “Oh! Do you know what time it is?! Honey! Our baby is here!!!”

Your dad was already making his way down the hallway loading his handgun. Just what time was it anyway for this type of greeting?! You had no clue. The second dad saw you standing in the doorway, his entire demeanor changed, and he concealed his weapon.

It was a reunion scene straight from a hallmark movie and Joker rolled his eyes after seeing the door close with you safely inside. His eyes never strayed from the front door as he made a phone call.

“501 Dorset. Three friendlies. 24/7 watch.” He hung up before driving away.

It wasn’t the memorable night he planned by any means, but seeing your heartfelt smile while reuniting with your parents would have to suffice. His Light was safe enough for him to go out and get some answers.

He wanted to know more about your past, and your hometown was filled with leads. All he needed was someone who would itch his ears.

The following morning was just like any other in the Y/L/N household. Your mom cooked breakfast and the heavenly smell floated up the stairs and roused you awake. You were always the last down. Somethings just never changed.

Dad was reading the second page of the newspaper by the time you shuffled down the stairs still in your pjs and bonnet.

“Morning, sweetheart. You hungry?” Mama asked, already piling food onto your favorite plate and sliding it on the table. You thanked her after saying grace and grabbed a fork.

At least your dad waited until you had scarfed down half the plate to start his interrogation.

“How did ya get here so late? I hope you weren’t out alone.” He rubbed his arm where your mom hit him with her spatula. She was thinking the same thing! Why keep it hush?

He had already called in from work to spend time with his girls. It was a rare visit indeed, and he wouldn’t miss it for the world. Luckily, your mom also had the next few days off from the hospital.

They had all day to get some answers.

You choked on your eggs. “Um, a... um friend d-dropped me off.” You focused your eyes on the horizon in your coffee mug.

“Teh. You mean the shady lookin’ friend in the all black G-Wagon?” He pestered. You mom shut the stove off and came over to the table with her own plate piled high.

“G Wagon? Should I know what that is?” Your mom asked out loud. You smiled watching dad hold out a chair for her and then push her up to the table. Ugh, they were so cute it gave you a toothache.

He kissed her forehead before sitting back down, “It's the obvious choice with armored vehicles. That or a Rover. Are you keeping your head on the swivel?” You noticed the gleam in his eye and the hidden message behind it.

“I’m not in anything dad, I promise. It's just a friend.”

He nodded; content for now until your mom spoke up, pointing her breakfast sausage at you.

“At that time of night, a friend would’ve walked you up dear. Or at least came in to say hello. They got any manners?”

She had a point and you winced in hindsight. Manners were a big thing to your family. You stammered an excuse. “Yes ma’am.. but..”

“Is this that same Prince Charming fellow Dick was going on about at dinner?”

Bruh, your dad was on your neck! There was no time to breathe! You never lied to your parents before and you certainly weren’t about to start now. You pushed your egg whites around on the plate and caved.

“Um... yes?” You knew their reaction would be instant.

“AND HE DIDN’T COME IN ‘N SAY HELLO?!” Mama cried, followed by your dad rubbing his temples. Well, this wasn’t good.

How could you get out of this barrage of questions and paint Joker in a good light? Not like he’d ever meet them, but still you wanted him to have a good rapport with your family. “Mama, he’s like reallyshy around others..”

You knew you said the wrong thing when dad smacked his paper down on the table. “What grown man is shy, Y/n? Ain’t you into mature men?”

You pulled a face and glanced at your mother.

She snickered and bit into her toast. There were no secrets, and you were open about everything to them, but it was still awkward to discuss your preferences in men with your parents.

“Um yes dad... I am. B-but, in this situation, just...” you took a deep breath, “Could you please respect his boundaries?”

“Will his boundaries allow us to meet and judge if he’s good enough for our Y/n/n?” Mama argued.

And that’s where you drew a blank.

Realistically you knew Joker would never meet your parents, however staying quiet would only rouse their curiosity. You had to come up with some sort of answer and fast. Then you remembered the mother-daughter conversation you had with Ma back at your place. A lightbulb went off in your head.

“I’m not sure Mama. Remember I told you, it’s not really a permanent relationship. If you want to meet hi—”

“Whatchu mean it ain’t permanent? Is he stringing you along? Do I need to call your uncle?” Your dad asked.

You paled. “God no.” That’s the last thing you needed in your chaotic life.

Even your mother was on edge. “Honey, I doubt it’s that serious, right Y/n? No need to get... them involved. Just you wait! Our daughter’s got good taste. This mysterious man will come around.” She nodded once and that was the end of that.

You exhaled in relief, but the weight of her words sank to your gut.

You didn’t have good taste at all. You didn’t have the heart to tell your family you were dating the most dangerous criminal in the country or the fact you were uncertain of the outcome. Would Joker let you walk away from this relationship alive, or would you be another one of his nameless victims, lost to time? Something told you it would probably be the latter.

It was a lot to think about over breakfast. A lulling silence settled over the kitchen until your mother broke it with her cheery voice.

“Oh! Y/n! Since you’re here, why don’t we go out as a family?”

It was the least you could do, so you swiftly replied.

“Yeah sure Mama. I need something to wear though.” You played with a loose thread on your pajama pants. After the shock of you being on their front stoop wore off, Mom and dad ushered you inside and caught up on lost time, despite it being the dead of night.

Mama commented on your beautiful outfit and you asked to change into something more comfortable before continuing the family chitchat. You donned an old high school spirit shirt and the threadbare pants you wore now.

The three of you talked for hours until sleep out won the excitement. Now as for going out in public, you weren’t so sure you had anything suitable left in your closet upstairs.

“Well, I think I have something that could fit you, at least till we get to a store. It’s nothing like your fancy designer clothes.” She thought back to your pretty dress that you came in wearing. She hadn’t seen you dressed up in ages!

Which reminded her.

Your mom turned to your father, “Do you have any plans for today, honey?”

“Nah. I wanna tag along with my two favorite girls. All I’m askin’ is to be fed. How about.. we go to Vincent’s later? You remember their brown butter and sage gnocchi? Man, you love that stuff, Y/n/n.” He scratched his neck, hoping he didn’t ruin the moment. Even your mother held her breath at the mere suggestion.

You tensed for a second but nodded. “Omg, yes! I’ve been craving it actually!” You admitted. Mom reached across the table to grab your hand.

“Will you be okay going there dear? We can always order take-out..”

“I-I think I’ll be okay.” You caught the hesitant look your parents gave each other. “Seriously. It's cool. I can’t condemn Vincent for someone else’s actions. Plus, his food is too good to boycott.” You squeezed her hand back. I’ll be okay.

“Well that settles it. Everyone get ready and we’ll hit the towns!”

A day out with your parents was just what the doctor prescribed.

Downtown Blüdhaven was just as you remembered it. Granted it was just as bad as Gotham, (if not worse) you felt a sense of comfort walking around. Perhaps because you knew the people here. You shopped at that drug store for years and knew the workers therein. You and some old school buddies accidentally broke the window at that diner on the corner.

It was nostalgia at its finest, only downside was that your success in Gotham followed you home. You were spotted walking around and by midday, your mom had to say something.

“Sweetheart! I didn’t know you were so... famous.” She was awestruck when a group of teenagers squealed and asked for your autograph inside the mall. You just smiled, signed their items, and even took a selfie with them—as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Yeah well.. I’m a successful author mama. It's kinda part of the job.” Dad was skeptical but he enjoyed acting like your bodyguard for the day and he took his job very seriously.

The two bodyguards that Joker officially assigned over you simply rolled their eyes but didn’t dare talk down to your father figure. They both shared a look and passed along a message to J as to who your father was.

To avoid any future run ins with fans, you decided to make a quick post online. Dad guided you over to a nice backdrop and you whipped out your phone.

“Hey hi everyone! I’m back home, taking a break if you will with the ‘rents. My adoring mother,” you flipped the lens to show your mom hiding behind dad. He gave a weak two finger salute in her stead.

Your bell like laughter was captured on camera. “I forgot; she’s camera shy. But um.. Yeah! I’m in Blüdhaven for the day super casual, so please be mindful of my privacy. Love and kisses!”

You hit send and glanced up hearing your dad’s soft laugh. “Look at my Y/n overcoming her anxiety and talking to people!” He was about to nuzzle your hair, but Mama swooped in to save the day. “Not on the twist out!!”

Your hair was looking bomb after she gave it some much needed blue magic moisture and love this morning. She was protecting her masterpiece with an iron fist.

Dad rolled his eyes and tossed his arms around both you and Mama’s shoulder. “I think it's time I fed my girls. Who’s hungry?”

Your stomach cried out the loudest and you slapped a hand over it, embarrassed. And on that note, it was time to head out.

The restaurant wasn’t too far of a walk, but you could feel a change in the air. You noticed the street sign and shivered. Highland and Bicchieri. It gave you the ick.

“We can go somewhere else if you’re not ready, Y/n.”

It didn’t matter which one of them said it, your parents were a collective unit whenever it came to your comfort. Dad kept his distance all day, but you shocked him by initiating physical contact. It made him happy knowing you were healing but he couldn’t help but worry that eating here would be counterproductive.

You hugged his arm closer to you for support. “I’m alright. I’m not going to boycott Vincent’s food just because of one bad apple. I’m hungry! Let’s go!” With a nod to yourself, you entered the building—leaving them outside.

“I got a bad feelin’ about this.” Mom sighed. Your dad silently agreed.

They walked in right as you were being ushered back by the hostess. “Right this way.” She nodded at your parents and guided the three of you back to a cozy area of the restaurant.

Exposed brick and antique lights were the theme throughout. The building itself was one of the founding structures in the city, dating back to the 1900’s and the Bicchieri family owned it for almost all of its history. If these walls could talk...

Menus were handed out and the hostess bid the three of you a nice meal before leaving.

Everything was going smoothly until a waiter came over to start out the table and locked eyes with you. “Y/n?”

Of all people to run into, just your luck. “H-Hey Rebekah.”

And of course she was eating up your discomfort. “Wow. I thought you’d never step foot in Blüdhaven again. Lemme guess. No one believed your sob story in the big city, and ya came crawling back home?” She scoffed under her breath. “What can I get ya? Disappointment with a side of attention seeking who—”

“We’d like a different waiter that’s what you can get us. I don’t got an appetite for your f___king attitude.” Your mother said on your behalf.

Rebekah rolled her eyes and walked off. A table across the way gasped as in disbelief at what they just heard and started mumbling amongst themselves.

Dad was trying to calm your mother down, he did not want her making a scene, and you slid further down in your seat, regretting everything.

This is exactly why you never came back home. There was no escaping the backlash.

It was like dad sensed your brewing tears. “We can leave if you want sweetheart. Mama is right, we don’t have to take their s__t.” He grumbled more under his breath; you didn’t care. You just shook your head.

“We’re on his family's turf, I should’ve expected this. I just want to eat and—”

The restaurant exploded into absolute chaos mid sentence.

Multiple men stormed the place demanding everyone shut up and stay seated. Your dad ordered you and Mom to stay calm despite the goons going table to table threatening everyone with guns. You were a ball of nerves already, but you listened to your father’s soothing words.

He was a veteran to these sorts of things. If he told you to do something, it was for the best. His wisdom was golden in your opinion.

None of the goons made it to your table yet, which you were grateful for, however to your horror, Joker strolled in followed by Frost protecting his rear. It was something straight out of a night terror.

You never saw Joker in his element—and it was obvious he was a completely different person in public. He carried an air of fear that made the warnings news anchors always drowned on about seem tame.

He is heavily armed and extremely dangerous. We ask the public to stay far away if found within the same vicinity as The Joker.

Up until today, you only seen Joker as a caring, silly roommate and an even better lover. He was never a danger to you—at least, that you knew of, and he never caused you harm that he didn’t immediately regret.

The man dressed in a signature purple suit, stalking the restaurant was unrecognizable to you. You didn’t know his motive and that made you tremor in fear.

You whimpered and hid in your father’s arms—narrowly avoiding being seen by Joker as he glanced in your direction. He flailed his arms at the lack of service. “I just wanted a table.” He said before demanding for the manager.

Even his voice was different. Had it always been so sinister? It made the hair on your arm stand on end.

A man came out and by smell alone, you knew it was Vincent Bicchieri himself. You could smell the garlic and authentic cigars from across the room.

You couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. They reminded you too much of his nephew’s. And they both had the same pompous attitude. “Whaddya want freak? Did ya get lot lost on the highway?” Vincent joked. No one laughed along.

Joker kissed his teeth and glossed over the menu that your waitress; Rebekah handed him. He glossed over the options before he suddenly grabbed Vincent by his gold chain.

“I’m a looking for someone. Someone... veryyyyy special. You ahh, Ital-i-ans are quite family oriented, no?”

“What’s it to ya, freak.” Vincent spat out.

Joker took a deep, long breath and you could see his fingers twitching, a clear sign that he was agitated. You knew he hated being called names and this blatant disrespect was probably eating at him. Frost noticed the same thing and flanked his Boss, waiting on a command.

The other goons were left to their own devices moseying around the restaurant. You were too busy watching Joker to notice that one of them had finally approached your table.

Joke licked his scars while rolling his dark eyes up to the ceiling. “Ok-aaaaay. Let's just cut to the chase, hmm?”

You covered your mouth as Joker took out a switchblade and slit Vincent’s throat. His body fell to the floor in a rapidly spreading pool of blood. Women and children were screaming and Joker’s goons were ordering them to shut up again. The thug passing by your table caught sight of you despite your father trying his best to shield you and Mom.

“Pretty daughter you got there.” The henchmen smirked. Your father wasn’t having it and politely warned the boy. “Back off son.”

“I ain’t ya son.”

You knew this wouldn’t end well when the crazed henchman grabbed hold of you.

Your instincts were screaming at you to say something, (to cry out for J, anything) but your throat was sealed shut in fear. Being quiet was your default in scary situations but you weren’t alone today. In the den of chaos, you heard both your parents cry out your name.

You didn’t hear Joker’s footsteps; you just happened to see his green hair out the corner of your eye the moment you opened them. He must’ve dyed it overnight, you noted sourly.

“Is there a f__king problem?” The restaurant was promptly silenced by his ominous sentence.

And rightfully so. Joker sounded like the devil himself. You almost felt bad for the poor guy touching you. How was he supposed to know the error in his ways if you were a secret?

“Uh no, Boss? I-I'm not sure Boss.”

Case in point.

“LeT. Her. Go.” Joker’s eyes fell to his henchmen’s grip on your arm. If looks could kill.. well.

Joker had a thousand plus ways to murder the fool.

His green eyes had never been more venomous and they glowed with promises of carnage. The message was well received.

The guy let go; and you roughly fell back into your seat. Your gaze naturally landed on Joker knowing that would set him off even further.

The Joker you knew would not let anyone mistreat his Light.

Unfortunately, there was nothing of the man you cared about standing next to you. Not once did he look your way. Joker didn’t trust himself to. One look at you would jeopardize everything.

If he turned and saw the terror swimming in your e/c eyes, his Joker persona would crumble like the Berlin Wall. He would devote himself to calming you down.

The great Joker would fall to his knees and kiss each tear away, begging for your forgiveness and he would do it shamelessly. Right in front of your parents no less.

F__k, they were right there! All he had to do was bend down and claim your lips for all to see and the truth would be out.

Joker would expose his biggest secret and have zero regrets. The only downside was you. You would suffer the most if J went public with his Light.

He couldn’t risk it. No. He couldn’t look. He had to pretend you were nothing to him. This was how he protected you. You. Didn’t. Exist. You were an innocent civilian caught up in his crosshairs.

Joker did not know you. And that happened to be the hardest task he’d ever faced.

Frost was on guard near the door just waiting for Joker to slip up. The second Frost saw you; he knew they were f__cked. Joker was gonna ruin everything being a simp.

Something had to be done before Joker and his unpredictability, acted out. This scenario called for a distraction and what better one than chaos?

Joker shot his own henchmen and drowned out the sound of your startled scream with a theatrical gasp. It all happened in the blink of an eye.

He inspected the gun as if it accidentally went off on its own. “Oops.” His sinister was definitely forced. Only you and Frost could tell.

Unfortunately, Joker underestimated the power you held over him. You were like a magnet, beckoning Joker to give in with your natural charm and beauty. He always said your tears would be his undoing—that turn of phrase would hold true today. Much to Frost’s and Joker’s own dismay, he caved.

He looked at you.

He couldn’t stop himself, he had to see you. But he would never forget the sight of your e/c eyes widened in terror at him. How it tortured him inside.

For once in his life, Joker felt ashamed.

Your light was shining on him and exposing his pitch-black soul. His eyes quickly averted down to the table where your menu, now splattered with blood, lay.

He gestured at it hoping no one noticed his hands shaking. “You should uh try the ahh, brown butter gnocchi. I hear it's to die for.”

You were speechless hearing Joker stumble over his words and not in his normal calculated way.

J nodded at your parents, who were frozen at the sight of him talking to you. “Enjoy your meal.”

He would never admit it to anyone, but he almost tripped on his henchman’s corpse trying to get away from you. A second longer in your presence would have ended in the national headline.

The Joker Brought to His Knees by a Woman.

Joker heart was beating out of his chest and it took him a second to compose himself back into character. God, you were his greatest weakness.

Joker passed by a petrified family of fours' table and swiped the wife’s drink mid stride. The soda did little to quell his nerves. He couldn’t get your eyes out of his head. The image was forever seared into his brain. He never wanted to be the villain in your eyes. He failed you in so many ways tonight. He had to get out of here before anything else went belly up.

Why did he come here anyway? Great, you made him forget his main objective!

Joker picked up movement out the corner of his eye and quickly locked eyes with Frost. The brute spun his finger in a circle. ‘Wrap it up.’

Everyone could hear the sirens in the distance. Too little too late, but help was on the way. Joker grumbled to himself and was making his escape when he remembered one small slight.

The staff were screaming and ducking for cover when Joker and his men burst through the kitchen area, looking for the exit. Joker had no intention of bothering them until he poked his head back inside with a polite smile.

“Pardon meeee. Which one of you is… Rebekah?” He already knew but where was the fun in that? Frost was behind him, telling him to hurry it up.

J didn’t have the patience to tell him to shove it. He had a score to settle. Joker grinned watching the tall, mixed girl raise her hand in fright.

“Lovely!” Joker shot her in the head before anyone could question his intentions. He admired his work with a cheekily grin. The stunned staff didn’t dare move and thus suffer the same fate.

The clown was completely insane.

The terrifying sight was broken up by someone yelling, “J, we gotta go!” Joker frowned at his fun being cut short, yet he heeded Frost’s urgent cry. He kicked out the back door and escaped into the night.

Out front, the customers were being rescued by policemen arriving at the restaurant. People were terrified, but this was Blüdhaven. Things like this happened a dime a dozen with a lot more casualties.

Although no one was more traumatized as you. By the time local police officers reached your table, your knuckles hand turned white. Your grip on your seat was the only thing that kept you from launching yourself into Joker’s arms.

Despite your fear, you craved his comfort. You wanted the Joker you were falling in love with to hold you—not the scary clown that just left dead bodies in his wake.

Speaking of, you tried your best not to notice the dead man lying near your feet. You couldn’t find any footing with the amount of blood under your heels.

Anything else was a better sight yet your eyes landed on the bloody menu right in front of you. The majority of it was illegible now except for the suggestion Joker gave you.

You were disturbed by how he knew what you wanted. It was in that moment you noticed a table within your line of sight was empty. You staunchly remembered two men sitting there before things went haywire.

How could you be so ignorant? Of course your security detail was feeding Joker intel.

Your dad was asking if you were alright, but he sounded far far away. You honestly couldn’t hear anything, your ears were ringing so loud.

“I-I think I’m gonna be sick.” You mumbled before you passed out cold.

The to-go box full of gnocchi sat heavily on your lap the entire ride back home.

Your parents thought they were slick stealing glances at you; as if you wouldn't notice, yet you could sense their pity in the air. It wasn’t their fault. The wonderful day out with family had ended in disaster and you had only your lover to blame.

Was it a coincidence that Joker crashed the same restaurant you were dining at? You weren’t so sure after witnessing the genuine shock on Frost’s face when the two of you locked eyes.

J didn’t expect you to be there. But why was he there in the first place racked your brain.

You had a hunch, and if you were right, the logic behind Joker’s visit made you sick to the stomach.

Your head was already throbbing from the lack of nourishment plus the blunt force it suffered when you hit your head fainting. Dad swore that he tried to catch you; Mama wasn’t convinced.

No one was in a good mood after giving statements to the police, and the three of you walked to the front door like a funeral party.

The to-go box, courtesy of the remaining staff, (you suspected it was Joker’s doing) was tossed onto the kitchen counter when you walked inside. All you wanted to do was wash your face, secure your hair, and crawl into bed in that exact order. You had no other interests tonight.

Mama had a different agenda.

“Y/n, do you—”

You didn’t mean to be rude but the last thing you wanted to do was talk. You talked way too much to investigators at the scene. Your mom jumped when you slammed your bedroom door right in her face.

She sighed and glanced at her husband, who simply shook his head, stating he was off to take a shower. Some help he was.

She didn’t want you distancing yourself, especially after such a triggering dinner, so she tried again. “Baby... can you please open the door? I can help you with your hair?”

A ‘go away Mama’ was weakly heard through the door. The doorknob wasn’t budging either when she tried turning it. Back to old habits. You were isolating yourself and as such, she felt as if she failed as a mother.

“Alright, that’s okay. We’re down the hall if you.. if...” All the air in her lungs left her mid sentence. “Get some sleep, Y/n/n.”

You didn’t hear Mama outside your door. You were distracted by your phone lighting up with an incoming call.

The assigned name made you shiver and for once, not in a good way. Should you let it ring to voicemail? You gnawed on your bottom lip debating the consequences. In the end, your thumb hit the accept button before you could regret it.

He could hear you breathing but not much else. Silent treatment it is then. He braved the unknown and spoke first.

“You alright?”

That was his intro? You didn't know what you were expecting him to say but it wasn’t that. You choked out a dry laugh and stared at the black walls of your childhood bedroom.

The full wall of pictures held so many memories, it was like viewing your life in the third person. From middle school selfies to poetry night with the club, to prom, and then graduation—everything was there in stunning clarity. Except for a noticeable gap in time.

The dark paint had chipped from where you ripped photos off the wall in anger. A blimp of your life, torn from your wall stared back, taunting you.

You’ll never forget the pain you experienced that day. You vowed to not let another man hurt you.

It gave you the motivation to reply. “No.”

Joker hummed and you heard something metallic clicking together in the background. “I’ll come get—”

“I wasn’t expecting you to kill someone in front of me today.” You muttered. Joker didn’t seem phased by the sudden change of subject, although it took him a second longer to respond.

“If I’d known you were there…”

“Oh you what?” You sneered, “You wouldn’t have killed them? Yeah right. Or or... maybe you would’ve waited until I was gone to unleash your madness! You really think that shielding me from your line of work masks the fact that you still do it? I know who you are. I know what you do... It’s just… getting a visual reminder is...” Your voice cracked at the end with a wet sob.

“Jarring?” Joker suggested.

Mind the fact that this was your first phone call with Joker, he sounded vastly different than the murderous clown you encountered back at the restaurant.

This Joker loved you; you could tell by the lack of his unique speech pattern. He spoke softly and from the heart. His sigh however was strained, and you noted he sounded a tad bit exhausted.

It was Joker’s turn to change the subject.

“You looked beautiful tonight. Sorry I couldn’t tell you in person, Princess.”

In any other situation that nickname would’ve stirred up butterflies in your stomach. You found a pretty printed two-piece outfit while out at the mall to wear for the day. The jewelry and heels you came to Blüdhaven in matched the ensemble perfectly.

A shame Joker splattered blood all over it.

“I know what you’re doing Joker.” you whispered. The walls at your parent’s home weren’t soundproof like in your penthouse, so you had to be careful. “You won’t distract me from the truth.”

“B-Bunny.. I don’t—”

“Yes you do know. Please... I am begging you. If you claim to l.. ahem, love me at all, don’t do this. Some things are best left in the past. Finding him will change nothing.”

He just didn’t understand it! Why weren’t you demanding justice or better yet cold hard revenge? Victims were usually angry at their aggressor. You were apathetic. If you weren’t going to express anger, Joker would on your behalf.

“He deserves to die for what he did to you. If you’ll let me...”

Joker stopped talking when he heard a sniffle. The power your tears had over him should be academically studied. And that same power resonated when you responded bitterly in J’s ear.

“What I want you to do is forget that anything happened! No one in this stupid city believes anything did, so... let it go, J. Please. Angering the Bicchieri’s will lead to nothing but violence and dead ends. No. One. Cares! Why should you?”

Several minutes passed after your outburst. You assumed that Joker had hung up, but his voice came through the receiver, matching your energy.

“Why should I care? Why should I...” He growled under his breath, and you swore you heard glass breaking in the background.

His heavy breathing was loud in your ear. Joker was in rare form. “I can show you better than I can tell ya Y/n. Watch me.”

The line disconnected before you could utter another word.

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