#maybe arospec

[heir-of-the-chair]

Guys. Guys it's a square.

It's a square guys look it's a square.

[tremendously-crazy]

"Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?" no i want a best friend/roommate/soulmate that I can go on silly adventures with and hang out with and have deep intellectual discussions with and we can be life partners without any of the romance stuff

[october-cryptixx]

aro/ace themed valentine's day teddy bears ^^ because i just recently found out i might be arospec but also just cuz like..... why not

[shmaroace]

as an aro my number one fear is being nice to someone and having them think i was flirting

[mossy-aro]

ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.

when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!

that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.

but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!

joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.

and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.

tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.

[glitterghost]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like there is a particular kind of sadness (or loneliness, if you will) that ace/aro folk feel.

[fauxbia]

Okay!!! Finally (Finally, this has been months in the making and redone several times) I made a lineup of my Iterator designs!!! They're done and I'm really happy with them.

Misc headcanons under the cut

All: Asexual, Trans

Looks To The Moon: She/Her, Demiromantic Lesbian

Five Pebbles: He/Him, Greyromantic MLM

No Significant Harassment: They/Sometimes He, Aromantic

Seven Red Suns: They/Them, Demiromantic Bi

Moon and NSH are both Gen 1. NSH was Moon’s first junior and friend, and they are extremely close because of it.

Suns is early Gen 2 and was created by a particularly aesthetically inclined group, resulting in their slightly more ornate clothing.

Pebbles is put off by NSH’s humor, thinking that if they’re a Gen 1, then shouldn’t they act like it?

NSH’s humor is actually sourced from their life experience. They’re relatively comfortable with themself and know how to see the bright side in most situations. (Moon’s collapse not being one of them. They were completely devastated; even moreso once assigned Senior in her stead.)

Moon loves Pebbles and wants him to be happy and healthy. He thinks she’s too overbearing, but loves her too deep down.

[def-not-kaz-brekker]

I hate it when people don’t take aromanticism seriously. I hate it when they say “oh it’s just a phase I also thought I was aromantic but then I got a partner.” It doesn’t apply to everyone.

Respect aromanticism as you would respect any other identity

[knifearo]

i feel like i haven’t said it in a while so!! loveless aros you are so cool and you bring such great perspective to things and i always always always wish you all the happiness in the world however it may appear for you. this blog is always and forever a safe and positive space for loveless aros and i am always so happy to see you guys here :)

[13personalities]

get yourself besties that you can plan the roommate situation with. I’m cooking the meals. I switch with several friends through out the week. One adopts a cat with me and the other writes fanfiction with me. I steal another one to be silly and figure out shapeshifting techniques. My only partner(s) are the ones I do crime with.

[mintjeru]

companionship and understanding happy pride from my beloveds!!

open for better quality | no reposts

[skull-turtle]

for the LAST TIME, what does "having a crush" even mean

[kurara-black-blog]

Lucifer, in the middle of a crying fest because someone asked about his divorce:... And what if she left me for someone else? Someone better?

Alastor, Done™: Someone better than the man who defied Heaven's will not once but twice so he could be with her and make their shared dream become true? Honestly, sire, out of all the absurdly stupid things you've said, that might be the greatest of them

Lucifer:... Marry me–

Alastor: *loud radio static* NO.

[bogwatr]

Aroace but also gay in the way that I act like this when I see a pic of a sexy guy

[kitty-thinks-stuff]

being an arospec/acespec person who also actively enjoys romance to the point of preferring it over regular stories is so funny😭

like im kicking my feet and giggling at these storylines and ships but do i wanna be in a regular relationship? no. no not really.

[bxdtime-ceai]

representation is great but i wish there were more aro/ace/aroace characters who aren't teenagers. i want to see young, middle aged and older adults discover/talk about their aro/ace/aroace identities. there is so much variation! so many stories to tell! but i dont think we can get this kind of representation without addressing the entertainment industry's obsession with youth