#maybe not everything HAS TO BE SO DAMN LITERAL

[harukyuu2]

hello!! May I request a fic about wind breaker (including Togame jo) scenario when they "accidentally" walk in on you while you're changing? Thank you!!!!!!!!

-‘๑’-⇢ ˗ˏˋ Woah! Sorryyy! - wbk boys seeing you change:࿐ྂ-‘๑’- !! - Haruka, Suo, Togame and Endo !! (Endo's part is pretty suggestive, implied fem!reader in some cases, small revision only :p)

"Hey, where do you have your... FUCK, DAMN—" ♡ Boy smashed your door closed without even saying sorry, too much embarassment— he cant handle it! You didnt even notice him until he smashed the door, it was like a split second interaction! ♡ You never saw him SOOO red, like— he always blushes! But today?? You can almost see smoke coming out of his head, his red has the saturation on a 100% ♡ His brain isnt working, he cant even form a sentence to you or even look you in the eyes, he feels like he's gonna explode if he does. ♡ If he didnt run out of your house by now, you can reassure him its fine, but youre gonna get embarassed mumbles until he's actually able to think without that image in his head. ♡ At the end of the day, with a looot and i mean A LOT of reassureance and patience for his blush to go down, you'll get your usual nervous boyfriend again, maybe even an apology! ♡ Still, that image of you stayed in his head for more time than necessary— and he probably felt guilty, but also youre too pretty in his eyes! He isnt sure how he got you still.

"...You know im— im sorry or whatever for...fuck, you know! not knocking or somethin'...whatever, damn—"

"Sweetie, are you ready to left alrea— Oh. Sorry!" ♡ He's actually SO CALM, he stands like "🧍‍♂️" checking on you a quick second before leaving politely, you cant even hear him walking, the only sound in the room is his apology AND THATS IT. ♡ Tbh, its surprising you catched him in a situation like that. Suo, as a boyfriend, know everything you need or what youre doing, or what youre about to do...His mind is literally connected to yours— so him thinking you were ready and it was wrong? First time you caught him out of guard. ♡ He stares at you. More than he usually does. You could catch him staring at you and he wouldnt look away! His eyes are literally glued to you (They were already, but now more than always) ♡ Now, Suo can be mature— like reaally mature, but still he's a teenager! So he feels a little embarassed, he's just good at hidding it. Not lying, the image doesnt leave his mind and he feels really inmature for it! ♡ He doesnt know how to bring the topic without making you uncomfortable, but he needs to. So, at night, when youre about to fall asleep, pretty dozed off from reality, he finally turns to cup your cheek and sweetly murmurs— whether you remember it or not, well... he's just going to play it silly in the morning.

"That color and laces looked good on you, darling. Sweet dreams, sorry for not knocking."

"Babe, take your time, but just so you dont scold me later, fireworks start at— ...uh, sorry. Uhh, that color looks good on you! I mean, sheesh, alright— im leaving, im leaving..." ♡ SLOW ASS TURTLE. Talks with you without noticing youre changing. Another man who just stands like "🧍‍♂️" while looking at you for a whole ten seconds and he tries to fix it with compliments just for you to have to push him outside of the bedroom ♡ He hums outside of your room, wondering if he made you uncomfortable or something, relationships are something new for him too— so he has zero idea how to handle this situation at first. ♡ He wont lie that he finded you pretty, thats a normal thing! Well, he guesses...so he wont see complimenting you on it as a bad a thing, but he does understand that not knocking was wrong (and not moving quickly too) ♡ Being on his side was silent for a moment before he leaved a sigh, scratched his neck before ruffling your hair and apologized in a cute way— he learned to talk a lot better after his fight with Haruka and always expresses himself honestly with you.

"'m sorry im just saying this now, i should had knocked...anyways, you looked pretty though...i mean it! You know i love you, right?"

"Babyyyy...Hurry up so we can go on a walk already! do you want to— DAAAMNN, that one looks good on you! is that the one i gived you money to buy? i should buy you another, but in blue and— Dont push meeee...!" ♡ Clingy, whining, sassy ASSSS...He wont leave that room until you try to push him like a good damn minute. Worst of all? While you push him out of the bedroom, he would make sassy remarks of other colors you could try that would look better with a damn big grin in his face. ♡ Apologizing? Nah, he's more into the old good "teasing my girlfriend until she feels the urge to beat me!!", íf you two went to the shopping...yeah, probably points out a store that sells them only to annoy you more. ♡ Follows you around even if youre mad or something, complimenting you on the way and even if he feels playful,(Literally everyday) will squeeze your waist just to scare you and finally get your attention directed to his face. ♡ Once you two are back to your house, he's teasingly tracing the contour of your bra through your shirt, holding you close and not letting his eyes fall from yours, he tempts you through them only to finally squeeze you into an hug since he's a romantic one, of course..!

"Im not going to apologize for finding you pretty, babe. Were not in a backwards world, arent we? So stop frowning and i'll spoil you in more gifts!"

I got confused and i made headcanons D: But i'll probably make a scenario for Togame if you rlly want it !!

[slimesludge-space]

All because of some stupid pants? -part 1

《Simon misunderstood who's pajama pants and shirts the reader has in her closet. Nothing but misunderstandings》

Note: first writing thing and terrible at spelling °~° sooo apologies if I didn't fix all of them °×°

This will be sliced into bits considering it ended up longer than expected.....enjoy??? °~°

Warnings: cursing, implied cheating, miscommunication, agnst

°~~°~~~~~~~°~~°~~~~~°~~°~~~~°~~°

Simon Riley was a dense man, never really understood it until now. You always came back to his place with a book in hand and bag of spare clothes. Dating a small little bird like you for 6 months now  before you began inviting him back to your apartment. It was a bit bigger than his place and a hell of a lot more books than he originally thought. 

To Simon it was strange being there at first before he also started to bring a few of his things along. You fussed about always going to his place when yours was closer sometimes after dates. Even giving him a key which sealed the deal for him. Sure they might have been going fast but you were gonna be his bird. He knew it the moment he took you back to his place the first time. You always kept him on his toes and he never knew what to expect from you.

Simon had gotten used to bringing you home to his place. Pulling you close and making you forget about where you placed the duffle bag so you would always end up in his clothes....even when he'd hide it and put it back as if it was always there in the first place and maybe you just didn't see it before?

Like a gentleman he is, he offered you his clothes. A T-shirt too big for you and the bold letters on the back that showed off 'RILEY' had always managed to turn him feral and bending you over the closest surface for some quick fun.

One day he stayed longer than a few hours at your place, coming back from a nice brunch and hanging out while his pretty bird talked about the new book you just finished. So imagine his surprise when his girl came out from the bedroom in another guy's pajama pants and a size or two too big of a hoodie he's never seen before. He felt his heart drop and his blood boil. His jaw locked tight while suppressing a growl as you innocently plopped down next to him and started the movie they were supposed to watch that day. At this point Simon didn't give a damn about the movie and more focused on what the fuck type of pants you were wearing. Stupid baggy pants with an even stupid pattern on them. He had to clear his throat from saying something else besides grunting out a question

"what are you wearing?" In as smooth of a voice he could muster while wanting nothing more than to burn everything you were wearing. His little bird had the nerve to innocently look up with the biggest grin as you stood up in front of him to show it off.

"What do you think? These are my favorite actually and look how deep the pockets are! I can literally fit a bag of Swedish fish in these" you stuffed your hands in the pockets like it was the most fascinating thing in the damn world.

Simon wasn't angry anymore....this man was PISSED as he glared at the revolting pants in front of him. Fuckin black pajama pants....MENS pajama pants with the pattern of Homer Simpson running for a fuckin donut and partially bitten donuts scattered around them. Simon's eyes flicker up a bit and clenched his teeth harder and finally read the hoodie for the first time 'peace is irrelevant' with the most stupid drawing of a goose with a knife he has ever had the misfortune of seeing. The only thought going through his head was 'the fuck am I looking at? Fuckin hell, soap would wear something this stupid' 

Simon Riley was baffled, wondering what kind of douchbag had managed to fuck his bird before him and what possessed her to KEEP it? All he could do was grunt out half a reply that sounded close to a 'yeah' before turning back to the movie. What used to be his bird only managed to tilt your pretty head and shrugged before snuggling back to his side.

His anger was boiling over more than he cared to admit, struggling to keep his cool before looking down and seeing you fast asleep. Letting out a deep sigh and grabbing the remote and flipping the TV off. Deciding to just ask you tomorrow about the owner of the clothes as he picks you up and heads to the bedroom. 

He stopped at the door, taking in the sight of knickknacks and books scattered on display around your room. He couldn't help the chuckle that managed to spill out when his eyes landed on the bed. Pillows and blankets to swim in and a large grumpy looking tiger plush standing proud on the bed. He gently tucked you into bed as his eyes flick up to notice the open closet, making his anger come back tenfold. Silently stalking towards your closet as he slightly nudged the shirts and revealed what he hated most. Yup, more fuckin men shirts than he could care to count. But what hurt the most was seeing a few of his inside the mix, like it was a fuckin collection of all the guys you've fucked in the past. But it didn't. God it didn't end even when he really wished it did.

The terrible bright patterns that managed to peak from his Peripheral vision made him want to punch the wall. He really wanted to give his girl the benefit of the doubt as he pulled the drawer open only to find more stupid looking pajama pants.

Simon's mind raced, his bird was loyal. Never gave the impression of anything otherwise. But even he couldn't deny that this room had enough clothes to show that someone else was definitely sleeping here besides you. His heart ached and cracked in two before hardening shut. He stiffened as he heard a muffled moan of his name slip into the air from the girl he thought was his.

rubbing your eyes before sitting up "sorry, I really did wanna see the movie. We could still cuddle though, I think I have some sweats you can borrow-" your words mumbling at the end and shifting to pull the covers off only to freeze at Simon's sharp tone

"No need. I gotta go, talk later" he pushed the drawer shut with a bit too much force that made your drowsy nature snap wide awake. 

"Wait....what?-si hang on!" Your mind was trying to catch up as he was already out the door. Scrambling out of bed to try to catch him but he was already gone. 

Heart sinking as you tried to call him, watching each text being left on sent. Pacing in your living room, scrambling for an idea of what set him off. Bottom lip bitten raw, just waited for something- Anything at this point. Thinking back to the entire day yet nothing seemed out of place. Your eyes burned as you pressed over his number one more time. Gripping your hoodie to ground you as the line went dead as soon as the second ring could even end.

Your heart stuttering in hope as it buzzed with a text, only to be stabbed and tossed into the trash as you read the text over and over 

"With Sophia. So Stop texting already will you." It was short. Cut and dry and straight to the point as you slumped on the couch and gripped your phone. Vision blurring and a whined sob ripped out of you like your bleeding heart. Dropping your phone as your chest tightened in disbelief and betrayal.

Covering your mouth with your sleeve to muffle the sob as your own anger finally snapped. Heading to your bedroom and yanking his shirts and jackets out of your closet, the hanger snapping from the force before you threw them into the living room. A few of the gifts he had gotten you weren't that far behind in meeting the same fate. The cute jewelry thrown just like his spare boots he kept at the front of the door. Yanking trash bags open to shove any of his products in from the bathroom. Your anger snuffing out as fast as it came when you went back to the mess in the living room, slumping on the floor as you looked around. Hiccuping and sniffling back tears as you shakily opened your phone, wishing, hell....praying that it wasn't real but there it was. A new message, sent of the so called Sophia taking a selfie with his phone at the bar. His hand gripping her side as he looked mid conversation with the bartender.

Whatever hope you had was rightfully tossed out the window with that image. Swallowing the knot in your throat and silently blocking his number before heading to bed and crying yourself to sleep.

[minteagalaxea]

seelie | jy. uso

jey uso . breakers series

genre: smut (minors dni) . modicum of plot content warnings: public sex . unprotected sex (please use protection) . creampie . afab reader (they/them pronouns) . implied age gap (reader is in their early twenties/college) word count: 1.1k inspiration: jey winning world heavyweight champion . cinderella . jey's new neck tattoo . spring break . me being on spring break . fairies songs: "full house" by mobb (x) . "backstage romance" by moulin rouge! the musical (x) read also: "siren" (x) . "serpent" (x) note: thank you so so much for everyone who has been following along with this little miniseries! wanted to give a big shoutout to @spiicii for literally riding it out with me and keeping me motivated! i've been not in the best headspace, but hopefully this helps! also thank you to @lov3rla03 for the shenans over in the whorehouse for helping me get through this.

maybe this was a mistake.

keyword: maybe.

they weren’t quite like their best friends when it came to matters of romance, who were feral and cerebral, respectively. they loved those two, the perfect contrast to one another.

yet, they were the one who paired off first. all because of a stupid neck tattoo.

they were pretty sure it was done recently, the black ink vibrant underneath the miami sun as the group entered the resort’s dayclub, and it was the first thing they saw. it didn’t matter who was wearing that piece, but they knew that was the thing they were going to chase.

they hadn’t expected him—jey—to welcome their compliments with charm and slip a glass of champagne into their hands and to whisk them away into his cabana like it was a fairytale romance. well, it would have been a fairytale romance if they were the nonbinary version of cinderella, he was a tatted-up prince charming, and the ball was a wild dayclub playing questionable edm during spring break.

so, the real mistake would be, then, that they let him inside of their depths in the middle of the ball. so maybe, this was their version of dancing as he turned them both onto their sides, the weight of his hand heavy on their cunt as he stroked their petals. enough to get them squirming and writhing for his cock amidst the tandem of whatever beat drop was happening and the bodies of everyone else doing the same shit, ostensibly. any direction, and someone was getting railed—in the cabanas, the pool. it was the greatest free for all of the spring break shenanigans they had ever encountered throughout their collegiate career.

yet, there was a charm to it, though they wanted to think it had more to do with the fact that their friends were doing the same damn thing as they were doing. evidently, jey’s twin matched exactly the level of freak as her history major best friend, with how hard he was railing her. they turned to the other side to find that their other friend was engaging in something with his cousin.

his hips were assured as he pressed his forehead against theirs, their right leg hiked up against his thigh to give him better access to their walls as their foreheads touched. “you’re so fucking beautiful, baby,” jey groaned against their soft mouth as his hips pistoned in a measured pace. he swallowed those noises as they moved, the rhythm something grounding and mythical.

in between the fervent, heady kisses, they murmured into his mouth, “you’re so good to me, jey. so fucking deep inside.”

they weren’t lying—he touched their depths in unimaginable ways, ways that soothed the aches and pains of their body as he kept his thrusts measured, purposeful, yet voracious. his tongue slipped into their mouth in a sensuous tango, a conversation more than a conquest.

it numbed their mind in all the ways they didn’t realize was liberating. there weren’t any thoughts of school, of integrals and matrices, of whatever stupid drama from their student organizations that left them reeling like maybe they were cinderella, and everything else in life was the wicked stepmother and stepsisters.

the suggestion, then, was when midnight would strike. would they linger? how much of this was meant to be a fairytale? they weren’t sure, and they weren’t sure if they wanted to know just yet as the tip of jey’s cock kissed that perfect spot inside them that erased any doubt, any concerns for the moment ebbing as he continued.

his name spilled from their lips over and over, each thrust rattling everything to their core. their breaths emerged in fervent pants as jey stared at them with a certain sense of awe, of reverence, of addiction. there was no other way for them to describe that feeling as he devoured every sound made with fervor. he groaned when they pressed their lips up against that new neck tattoo, practically licking the ink off of it if they could. that action always pressed their body up into his, their chests melding and jey’s cock so so deep inside that the angle made it even deeper, made it feel so so deep that there was no way they weren’t dreaming.

“baby, you’re like a fucking angel. sent down here just for me.”

“crazy talk,” they mumbled against his lips, body seizing up in a climax as his tip stabbed just right inside of them to propel them to a climax. that sound was airy, a stutter of absolute pleasure as they arched their frame into him, their walls pulsating in harmony to whatever song was playing off the club’s numerous speakers.

“baby, those walls of yours are like some fairy wings or something,” he gritted out as his hips stilled to deposit his load into their sweet, fluttering depths. it was full, it was warm, and that felt more like the stroke of midnight than maybe the end of a long, semi-romantic fuck.

they couldn’t leave—not with how jey held close onto them like a vine. his eyes were heavy with need for them, like they were the blessing he had been praying and searching for. he held them close as the song transitioned, length staying inside as he continued rocking into them, pushing his seed deeper and deeper into them like he wanted a part of him to remain in them.

“my little fairy,” jey mused with awe, as if he was seeing them for the first time beyond what led them into the cabana. their hips rocked into his, their lashes fluttering against his cheeks. their lips remained affixed to his neck, suckling marks on one side and paying reverence and worship to the freshly inked side.

“look at those pretty wings of yours,” he teased, pressing his lips to the side of their eye, brushing close to their lashes. their cheeks warmed at the gesture, snuggling close as their breaths mingled, their mimosa tangling with his bourbon.

“jey,” they breathed. it was the only word they could say as they stayed, long after the proverbial stroke of midnight and the music escalated and so did everyone else. their walls pulsed and beat like the wings of a fae.

“just stay with me, my little angel. stay all week long.” it sounded like a prayer to a creature they definitely weren’t, but cursed their little soft romantic heart and the softness of his eyes. he kissed them over and over, trying to imprint the taste of them on his lips as their tongues conversed again, dancing in candied delight and coquettish deviousness. it was less of that stupid cinderella tale they thought as jey drank them in, hardening once more at those soft contractions of their nether, rocking to have them mewl and preen under the miami sun.

they would stay. fairies loved lost things, after all. and there weren’t conditions like cinderella’s ball when they were the fairy godmother.

taglist ⇢ @yana3sworld . @roseydoesypoesy . @fearlesschimera . @theusotwinzcom . @acute-crashout-jeyuso . @geekinstilettos . @pr0wlerpunk . 

[tinylilacbun]

Could you do more little!rafe I’ve literally been obsessed with the idea it’s literally so cute maybe where he has a bad day and reader comforts him as he is in little space (I absolutely love your fics they comfort me sm hope you have a amazing day/night and God bless you (and yes I am a Christian who is an age regresser lol)

Another day, another argument with his dad. Rafe just can't seem to do anything right in Ward's eyes, the constant rejection hits him deep but obviously doesn't show it in front of others, keeping up his walls whenever he's around people, even his family.

Ever since Rafe started to embrace his inner child more often, he found this strange feeling of contentment whenever he feels himself slipping into this vulnerable headspace.

At first he couldn't stand it at all, showing this much weakness to someone is something he never allowed himself, he couldn't, until you came into the picture.

Your sweet and overall motherly personality is the exact thing he had been missing for a long time, someone who listens without judging, who understands him and doesn't push him away even though he lets his temper flare often.

To you, he's just a broken boy who needs gentle handling, a safe space where he can just turn his brain off from all the bad thoughts that consume him constantly.

You don't dare to tell him what exactly it is that he's slipping into sometimes after doing some research, those times where he's a little boy without realizing it fully, it's the only thing keeping him from spiraling completely and so you're just being there for him, like today.

You're in Rafe's room, laying in the middle of his bed as you mindlessly scroll on your phone, trying everything to distract yourself from the shouting match that Rafe and his father are having downstairs, every muscle in your body screaming to go and tell Ward to go screw himself and leave your boyfriend alone.

Poor Rafe, you feel so damn sorry for him that you could cry every time he walks up to you like a kicked puppy, only letting his walls down when it's just the two of you in the safety of his room where he can let everything out and have his moment of peace in your arms.

You hear a door slam shut and then Rafe stomping his way up the stairs, pushing his bedroom door open and kicking it shut with his foot again, starting to pace in front of his bed as he mumbles to himself.

You stay seated on the bed, not wanting to overwhelm him even more by accident and give him a minute to collect himself and his thousand thoughts. "Rafey?"

He doesn't react, doesn't even glance at you as he curses loudly and suddenly punches the wall in a surge of frustration.

Not being able to stay quiet anymore and seeing him hurt himself you quickly get up from the bed, going to stand in between him and the wall as you scold him. "Hey, no, stop that."

It takes him a second to eventually look into your eyes, his breathing ragged and his hands slightly shaking by his sides as he tries not to lash out again.

"Don't do that. Hurting yourself isn't making it go away." You remind him, gently taking his bruised hand and inspecting it for any major damage before pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. "Wanna talk about it?"

He thinks for a moment. "He- He just- I didn't even..." He tries to form a coherent sentence but is seemingly struggling with it, so he just shakes his head, leaning into your touch when you reach up to cup his cheek in your hand.

"It's okay...come." You whisper, taking his hand you lead him towards his bed, climbing on first and beckoning him to join you.

He hesitantly moves to lay between your legs, his head resting on your chest and closing his eyes when he feels your fingers going through his hair, wrapping his arms around your middle.

"I got you, baby..." You murmur softly, your other hand drawing soothing circles on his back. "I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks...mommy." he mumbles under his breath, not being able to stop himself from calling you that, he just feels so safe with you that his resistance starts to falter.

You smile, kissing the top of his head. "Not for that."

"I don' like this." He slurs a little, his brain shutting off slowly. "S'weak an' pa- path- mmm." He almost whines when he can't pronounce the words properly.

"Shh, I know, I know, but it's fine. You're actually really brave for this, y'know? It's not easy to just let go of everything. My strong boy." You assure him, making sure that he knows that it's completely okay to be vulnerable around the right people sometimes.

Reaching to your left and under Rafe's pillow you grab the small light brown teddy bear he hides there, carefully tucking it under his arm, it's the only thing left that reminds him of the actual good times in his childhood.

He subconsciously moves his one arm from under your body to curl it around his comfort item, almost instantly melting even more against you as he feels exhaustion wash over him.

"I love you so much, baby." You remind him one last time just as he falls asleep on top of you.

[ab121500]

Been thinking about Rook and Illario's relationship.

It takes a while for Aylewin to warm up to Illario.

And by “a while” I mean literal years.

Lucanis and Rook have been married for a few years, and that entire time she has an attitude. She hates him. Says harsh things. She only stops saying them as loudly or as publicly once her daughter is born. She may hate Illario for what he has done, but Lucanis wants Illario in their daughter's life and Aylewin will be damned if her daughter says such mean things without knowing why her mother hates him.

She keeps her bitterness in check, only letting it out when she's 100% sure her baby can't hear or see them.

Her second pregnancy, Illario ends up being the one beside her at some appointments. She'd go alone, but being poked by a doctor and trying to handle an inquisitive baby means she needs help and because Lucanis is handling Talon stuff (something is going on but he wont tell her) and her sister has work, and there is no way in HELL she will let Caterina join her, so its Illario by process of elimination.

Illario does not bring her any comfort; does not ease her nerves, but what he does do is be an excellent babysitter. Lace (her eldest) adores him, and he always is able to make her laugh so he can stay. Slowly, slowly she tolerates him a little more.

Once her second is born, another little girl by the name of Emily, things go a little bit back to normal. Aylewin is still snippy, she still doesn't like him, but she keeps her comments to herself. Though she does get a bit mad that Emily loves Illario more than either of her parents. From the second he held her the first time she had won him over, and Aylewin couldn't bring herself to take that away from him. Hell, her first word is Rio, as in Illario. He is her favorite person in the entire world.

So when Emily gets seriously hurt because of a house war and is in serious critical condition for like, 4 or 5 weeks Illario and Aylewin bond. He's the only one who completely supports her forcing the people who injured Emily to stay alive until she's stable (these guys are literally like, disemboweled and other horrible things and death would be the kindest most humane thing to do, I'm working on a whole thing about that). Even Lucanis is like “Love, maybe we should-” and she cuts him off and refuses. Just. No. These fuckers hurt my baby, they do not get to just die. Illario just stands next to her and nods.

Because Lucanis has to handle the house war going on in the background (which Aylewin basically ended, no one with a brain wants to be in the state the people responsible for harming her child are in) and because Illario was Emily's favorite anyway, Illario spends a lot of time by her bedside. He helps Aylewin give her medicine, reads her to sleep, comforts Aylewin when everything hits her and she starts to sob. And in turn; when he has a breakdown after seeing how kind and how much love Rook and Lucanis shower their kids with, she comforts him.

Illario becomes a staple in their lives after that, and by their 3rd/4th kids (a set of twins) he and Aylewin are thick as thieves. And Lucanis is so happy, even if it took a lot of time, because the old Illario is back.

[rip-cod-brainrot]

So I fed some pigeons and grackles/jackdaws today at the city station. This girl sits down next to me. And she’s apparently upset by the pigeons being near her, judging by the way she kept shooing them away with a frown.

Like. Girl. YOU are the one who sat next to the person obviously feeding pigeons. Who has pigeons literally diving under her feet to grab some peanuts. There are going to be pigeons. Why would you sit here if you do not want pigeon????

Anyways it’s so stupid funny I’m coming up with headcanons about how they (read: cod bois + maybe even perhaps some gals) will react sitting next to you, a stranger. Feeding pigeons

Characters; Price, Gaz, Ghost, Soap, Laswell, Alejandro, Rudy, Graves, Nikolai, Valeria, Makarov

PRICE -He doesn’t understand what you are doing. Aren’t pigeons dirty??? That one specifically looks like it has mange?????? -He is discreetly scooting away. Especially when the pigeons start hopping up to sit next to you on the bench to try and get more peanuts. He might shoo them away, but gently, with only furrowed eyebrows. -Says nothing to you, but also doesn't give you more than one confused look, because he's a gentleman.

GAZ -Yeah, he noticed the pigeons. Oh. Wait - he didn't see that you were feeding them. -He does panic internally - just a bit - when they start swarming your shoes as you drop some food. But then you just... giggle? Because the pigeons are... well, they are kind of cute. -Wait - never mind, one of them is staring at him with those beady red eyes. Never mind, they're more disconcerting than anything. Don't trust those gentle coos... they clearly hide evil pigeon intent

GHOST -??? Yeah there's somebody feeding pigeons, so what? The seat's free, he's gonna sit there. -Oh, the pigeons are starting to come closer to him because he's sitting still? Oh. Well. He doesn't mind that much. He'll just have to wash his clothes real well. Mites and all that. -Doesn't say anything, but he does give you a nod and a grunt when you compliment that they seem to like him. -Next time you're there he's feeding the pigeons too??? Who the fuck is this guy

SOAP -He is not discreet. He's leaning over curiously to try and look closer at the pigeons, eyebrows raised. -It's only a matter of time before he starts asking questions. "How'd you get them to come so close? Do you feed them that every time? How do you know they like it? What else do you feed 'em?" -He is actively excited by this Disney Princess(tm) shit happening in front of him. He might leave you with a torn out page of his sketchbook; a quick drawing of you, surrounded by the birds, smiling.

LASWELL -People feed pigeons all the time. Why should she care? She's just going to keep her distance and- -Oh, one of them hopped up next to her, and it's coming towards her. No, Kate doesn't have any feed for this thing, go away- -Actively goes to sit at the far end of the bench, putting her bag between herself and the birds. She does wave at them and wiggle her foot so that they don't come near her.

ALEJANDRO -Feeding the local wildlife? That's sweet. But can't they feed themselves? What the hell do pigeons eat anyways- -May or may not jump and shit himself when one of the pigeons suddenly flaps up to stand on his knee. Absolutely does not hurt the pigeons on purpose!! But if he swats a little too fast at one of them, he ain't missing, and he feels AWFUL about it. -Damn soldier reflexes. Next thing he knows he's holding a pigeon in his hands while you check it over, fussing over the thing even though it's looking around like nothing happened. -(Pigeon is ok btw. Turns out he just kinda... pushed it, and it flew back fast enough to avoid any real harm.)

RUDY -Oh he's absolutely into it, he knows the birds are hopping onto the bench and everything. He noticed it as he was coming up. -If one of them comes next to him or hops up onto his knee, he's smiling. But he does gently nudge them back over to you. "No tengo nada portigo, pajarito. Go to them." -Strikes up a conversation with you about what you're feeding them. You have a clear love for these birds, and he thinks it's wonderful that such love exists in the world.

GRAVES -Didn't even notice you were feeding pigeons. He just knows the damn things go everywhere, wherever they want. -Wait wtf you're feeding them? What are you, an old grandma???? Graves fully believes in the sky rat idea of pigeons. The hell are you doing??? -Jumps up when one of them flies right at him. "What in the hell-" -He has decided to sit somewhere else. Unless you strike him up in conversation and talk him down. (They're just birds, bro calm down)

NIKOLAI -Oh he sat next to you BECAUSE you're feeding birds. This looks like fun. -He asks if he can have a handful of the stuff so he can feed them, too. Or pulls out some spare packet of nuts he had in his pocket. He's enjoying feeding them, look at those little guys go. -He soon strikes up a conversation with you, smiling and laughing over the warm little birds so focused on getting the food that they're swarming around your feet.

VALERIA (because I think she would say smth 'bout it) -Didn't care that you're feeding the pigeons. Whatever. People do stuff like feed the wildlife in the city. Who cares. -Raises an eyebrow when one lands next to her, staring at her expectantly. "Que quieres? No tengo no comida portigo. Ve a tu amigo alli." -She brushes it away, back towards you. "You keep these birds too fat, they're gonna bother everybody, you know?" she hums. "You feed them every day?" -Soon enough, you're bantering back and forth. She likes a small conversation every once in a while, knowing that whatever civilian she's talking to hasn't the slightest idea how easily she could have them wiped from the face of the earth... MAKAROV (because I need more content of This Guy(tm)) -You're just another civilian doing civilian things. Feeding the birds. Yeah, whatever. -Frowns at the pigeons when they try to hop up next to him. Shoos them away, not out of any real malice, but in slight annoyance. -That annoyance does spill over, though. But at you. "Why are you feeding them? These are wild animals, do you think they cannot feed themselves?" -If you're just like 'they're cute', then he scoffs and ignores you for the rest of the time he has to wait. He refuses to move. But if you have a logical reason - "I want to make sure they're eating something that they can actually digest, and the more I feed them, the more often I can check to see if they're sick" - then he's pretty intrigued. Maybe you're not a stupid civilian, at least.

[beef-brisket]

((I haven't see Helluva Boss, so forgive me for how ooc everyone is going to be lol))

Satan glared: How so? Not only is going to Earth strictly prohibited, but you are carrying out assassinations as well, aren't you?

Blitzo: I... okay, maybe- but-!

Satan: No buts.

Lucifer sat there, listening to how Satan was handling the situation, and to his surprise, Adam was completely focused. Taking mental note of everything that was said by the Imp, Goetia, and the rest of the members of whatever the business is called- Lucifer wasn't really listening- he doesn't even know why he's here.

Maybe this was a torture technique. Bore Lucifer to death.

And to be honest, when Adam declared them guilty, Lucifer agreed with him. Not that he'd tell the new devil that. Not in a million years.

Lucifer stared in shock as Adam took the goetia's power away and banishing him from his home. It all sounded a lot like Eden. Lucifer has felt Stolas' fear before. Felt how empty you feel without your power, how weak, and betrayed one is after their father- or "king" throws them away.

Lucifer was left to simmer in his anger until the meeting was over. The blonde couldn't help but growl as Adam stood and talked with the sins. Some even flashed him sympathetic glances. Well, fuck them. FUCK them for picking Adam, FUCK them for betraying him- just... fuck them...

By the time Adam came back, Lucifer's fingers were twitching with anger.

Lucifer: ...What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that? To a goetia? A prince of Hell?! Or do Hell's hierarchy really mean nothing to you?!

Adam scoffed: Calm down, shorty. It's only for three years, which is more mercy than they deserve.

Lucifer: ...You may think you're in charge, but-!

Adam: I am. Duh. I'm the king, I KNOW I'm in charge. The only one having an issue understanding that shit is you.

Lucifer: I have no issue understanding it- you AREN'T the king! You're a fraud! A lair! A THEIF! That's MY crown-! Not yours! You're nothing! NOTHING!

The king stared down at Lucifer before rolling his eyes and snapping his fingers. Suddenly, Lucifer was back in his room at the halfway house. But what really pissed him off was Adam leaning over and looking at a photo of Charlie. Before she arrived in Heaven.

Lucifer: Hey! Get away from that-!

Standing up straight, Adam watched the archangel grab the photo and hold it close to him, glaring at Adam the whole time.

Adam: Who's that? Your sister, or something?

Lucifer: ...Sister-? No! That's- MY daughter! The one you murdered!

Adam: ...Murdered? I haven't murdered anyone. I mean, I would know, I'm literally the devil-.

Lucifer: Stop it! Stop it with this- memory loss bullshit! How can you NOT remember?! You hacked me up! Burnt my daughter with holy light- RUINED her dream! You're a monster, Adam! A fucking disappointment! Everything about you is a damn mistake! I should have killed you in that fucking garden!

The Devil stared down at Lucifer as the angel panted and glared up at Adam like he was the worst thing in creation. And being the sin of Pride, Adam won't deny that what Lucifer said hurt. Bee said they were friends... but when?

Adam: Hm... it seems you need time to cool off. And I'm obviously not helping- which is honestly a shock- I'm pretty amazing. Anyway, I'll let you uh... jerk off? Or whatever it is you do to chill out. Later noob.

Before the blonde could say anything, Adam gave him a 'peace' sign, before teleporting away.

Lucifer: ...Crazy motherfucker...

HI IT'S ME-! I HAVE AN AU FOR YOU!

God of War!au

👀👀👀

It's set during the extermination. Adam and Lucifer's fight is like Thor and Kratos' fight.

Adam: You think you can fall down here, start a family, and get a clean slate after all of the shit you caused?!

Lucifer glares, struggling to hit back Adam's axe.

Adam: That's not how it works! You're a destroyer, like me!

Lucifer's quickly lost strength, and Adam manages to smack him over the head with his axe, killing him.

Everyone screams as Lucifer falls back, golden blood running down his head.

Adam: Oh no. I say when we're done, asshole!

Lucifer's eyes snap open as Adam shoots holy light into him. He convulsed on the ground as his senses started coming back.

Lucifer: S-Sto-.

Adam: Fight. Me. Asshole. Like you fucking mean it.

@beef-brisket

(Interesting)

Lucifer: A, Adam n, n, no-

Adam growled: I have had enough of this! You WILL fight me!!!

Lucifer may be battered and bruised and barely able to lift a single finger but because of his pride he was unable to beg for mercy.

Lucifer: D, do it! ...pussy!

That was it as Adam felt all his hatred and rage boil down to him in that point with one clean cut, Lucifer's head rolled down.

The demons and angels could only watch as Adam proceeded to chop Lucifer's body into piece after piece.

When Charlie finally realized what Adam was doing after her moment of shock had passed she screamed.

Her screams echoed across the pride as everyone shook from her mournful cry.

Adam stopped what he was doing and turned to the princess, watching her with a mere raised brow. She trampled forward, ready to enact vengeance on her fallen father.

However, Adam was ready for her.

He had been the moment she was born.

When she had gotten close enough he shot a powerful beam of holy light in her direction, disintegrating her entire existence.

The so-called anti-Christ was nothing more than a pile of ash.

Vaggie: CHARLIE!!!

Oh yeah, he almost forgot about the traitor.

He flew right up to her and decided that an extra punishment would be in order. He was no longer taking disrespect from a former soldier.

He held her in a vice grip and refused to let go. He saw the demons around her moving quickly to attack him, but he moved faster.

He took off to the sky high above. But not too far away that she wouldn't be able to see what was to happen.

Adam: NOW!!!

The sinner's eyes widened as the remaining exorcist girls sliced the hotel's residents with their spears.

The former soldier could only watch in despair as the people she had grown close to were butchered and mutilated before her.

Vaggie: NOOOO!!!!!

Adam: You only have yourself to blame, Vaggie.

He then gripped onto the base of her wings and started to swing her around. He threw her so hard that soon she could feel the familiar sting of her wings separating from her body.

When her dizziness dissipated, she could see Adam smiling cruelly at her while he held onto the only thing that gave her the ability to fly.

She screamed as she hurdled towards the earth. Was this what it was like to feel true helplessness?

When she had reached the near ground, she was met with only the steel of angelic metal. She gasped as she began to cough up blood.

How could this have happened? They were the good guys. They were supposed to win.

Good prevails evil.

That's how the story goes...or at least how it's supposed to.

Her vision began to blur as she began to feel cold. She saw two figures approach her. Immediately telling who it was when she heard her voice.

Lute: A debt has been paid...But I think I'll make do on my promise.

She unsheathed her sword and, with one swoop, cut out her good eye. Watching it pop right out as at long last the traitor was dead.

In the midst of it all, there was Adam with his right hand standing by proudly. The cannibal army left not too long ago. Not wanting to take any chances with their souls.

However, too bad for them Adam wasn't finished. In fact, he was just getting started.

Adam: I have had enough.

[shoot-i-messed-up]

Was always worried about the angst of unrequited love, had never realized the sheer amount of comedic potential that it has.

Imagine one-sided Superbat where Clark is fully aware that Bruce has a crush on him but is being his repressed self about it, and Clark is just like, “I’m not gonna touch that :) you’re going to figure that out for yourself, buddy, and in the meantime, I’m just going to have a good time and be best friends with you as you inevitably pull yourself together enough to either fall out of love or to confess :) and I’ll just let you down gently because I care about you :)” but he absolutely 100% is using it to his advantage in the meantime. His puppy dog eyes had never been so effective before. He’s gotten out of Monitor Duty three times in the past month.

[mishy-mashy]

Kudo makes funny facial expressions

[lacystar]

hey I got this poem critiqued in class the other day and it got overall good reviews! the only critical notes were from my professor and I hate him anyways (he thinks adventure time is a bad show) so is ok. if u wanna see my peers' non-crimeboys-headed thoughts on it you can check below :] they figured a lot of it out!

One girl made a suggestion that the poem was related to patriotism/war, sowing seeds and burning suggests something visceral and physical. Multiple people thought the "brother" had left to war and that the speaker was waiting his return... >:3c

They eventualicked up on the brother not being a cool dude and the return not being a good person. The “family” is waiting for this troubled person to come home.

THEY FIGURED OUT THE BROTHER MAY BE DEAD. they interpreted the mentions of ashes as death and suggested that the "brothers return" was waiting for his ashes to be sent in to spread.

THEY FIGURED OUT THAT THERE'S A LITTLE SIBLING VS "FAMILY" ENERGY. the "I" pronoun seeming more hopeful and naive for the brother returning, more of a yearning, vs the "we" of the "family" seeming more dreading, knowing the brother is a negative force, not wanting him back. and if ur interpreting the "family" as l'manberg YEAH....

overall v cool. it's awesome that without the context of the characters and stuff my point overall so clearly got across! :]

Pantoum For My Brother’s Inevitable Return - a c!crimeboys poem that has gone through zero editing nor peer review.

[widevibratobitch]

something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.

[makingshortstorieslong]

ooooooooooooih I feel like I'm being pulled sixty directions at once and it's mostly my own doing and it's impossible to prioritize and every time I have to make a decision I open this site or Instagram!!!!!!!!!!

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

[tw1stedthicket]

i think i might be a lesbian

[spamtoon]

(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever

[scare-ard--sleigh]

ohhhhhhhhhh my goddddddddd and now the fucking t*ble t*nnis guy is passive aggressively up my ass : \