#maybe they'd never trust anyone ever again

[leviachansbaka]

I know this is super toxic but if it turns out we can't go back to the original timeline because *someone* planned this, I'm gonna make them fall even more in love with my mc and then kill mc in the most tragic way possible just to destroy their heart and traumatize them deeply.

[delicatetaysversion]

dni.

[veritasangel]

ghost like me

⋆ ｡⋆ any pov ୨୧˚ warnings: none {wc: 581}

Simon had always been a cautious man. A life spent in the shadows, dealing with classified missions, trusting no one-at least, not without vetting them first. His work demanded that from him, and that particular aspect of his personality managed to leak into his relationships too. When they did happen, they were casual, uncomplicated, and above all, safe. 

That’s why, after laughing over late night whiskey with you and getting comfortable with one another, he didn't resist the urge to conduct a background check on you.

The two of you weren't official, not even close, but the tension was there. You'd gone to his apartment more than once, and he'd found his way to yours, where things had transpired that were a little more than friendly. It wasn't love, but it was something. Still, Simon was cautious. 

His instincts told him to dig deeper, just to be sure. After all, he needed to know if there was some kind of danger lurking in the air, any threat.

Old habits die hard.

Except this time, what he found-or rather didn't find-un­nerved him.

There was nothing.

No trace of you. No records, no history, nothing to flag. You were a ghost. And that sent a shiver down his spine. He was used to uncovering everything about a person with just a few taps-where they were born, who they knew, where they'd been. 

But you? It's as if you never existed prior to the day he met you.

And Simon didn’t know how to feel about that.

It was a double-edged sword: it made him wary. A clean slate was a warning sign in his world that someone was hiding something, and he wasn't naive enough to think otherwise. He couldn't help but wonder whether you were dangerous, and that idea didn't sit well in his gut. It gnawed at the back of his mind, tugged his focus when you weren't around. He had his doubts, wondering if he should step back, keep a distance and work out who you were before it went any further.

But then there was something else. A flicker of pride. Whoever you were, you were good. Better than most, at any rate and Ghost was impressed, and that said something. Not often he met anyone who could slip under the radar as cleanly as that, leaving not even breadcrumbs to follow. It gave him the feeling that you could be cut from the same cloth as him, a survivor in the dark.

Then, of course, there was that other feeling-the one that snuck up on him anytime he let his defences down with you. The one that made him want to protect you, even when he still knew only half the story. He was angry at how you so easily made him feel that way. 

He didn't like uncertainty. And with you? It was everywhere-your past, your motives, your future together, everything.

Every time you flash that knowing smile, or when he catches those eyes that seem to see far more than he will ever see-the pull comes again. He wanted to keep you close, yet he just couldn’t shake this feeling that perhaps he was already too close.

Simon wasn't sure whether to pull you in or push you away.

You were a mystery, and mysteries weren't safe. Yet, maybe this was what had drawn him to you in the first place.

You were dangerous, much like him. And maybe that wasn't such a bad thing after all.

༄ cod m.list

© veritasangel ↣ 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie: "Sweetie, today I'm gonna show you the soothing power of... the mutual grapple and scream."

Charlie: "The what and what?"

Vaggie: "We can also call it the grab and yell."

Charlie: "Somehow that doesn't sound any more soothing."

Vaggie: "Trust me it'll be great."

Charlie: "I trust you... not your idea of what's mentally healthy or good all the time, but I do trust YOU."

Vaggie: "That works. So first, we start by standing and facing each other."

Charlie: "Okay!"

Vaggie: "Without getting lost in each other's eyes."

Charlie: "I'll try."

Vaggie: "Now- put your hands behind my neck and lace your fingers together."

Charlie: "Ohh~ Okay~~~"

Vaggie: "We're not gonna kiss, Charlie."

Charlie: "No?

Vaggie: "No."

Charlie: "I'm already not a huge fan of this maneuver thing."

Vaggie: "It gets better I promise. I'm gonna lock may arms around yours and get my hands behind your neck too-"

Charlie: "Are you SURE we can't kiss???"

Vaggie: "-and we're both gonna pull down, dragging each other into this headbutt. Got it?"

Charlie: "Got it." (pouts)

Vaggie: "What? Not comfortable?"

Charlie: "Perfectly comfy, but we're basically kissing already. I don't see how it'd ruin anything."

Vaggie: "How are we basically kissing."

Charlie: "Our cheeks are almost touching."

Vaggie: "Babe. Focus."

Charlie: "I'm trying but your pretty face is making it hard!"

Vaggie: "..I hate that we're friends with Angel Dust. I hate knowing what dumb jokes he'd crack about that."

Charlie: "Making me think of sex jokes just makes this harder!"

Vaggie: "I didn't say they'd be-"

Charlie: "It's Angel Dust of COURSE they'd be sex jokes!!!"

Vaggie: "Well we're not doing that either."

Charlie: "ARGH."

Vaggie: "Alright, you feel that rage? We're gonna channel that in a momment. So take a deep breath..."

Charlie: "EeeeeEEEEYUP-"

Vaggie: "And when you're ready...."

Charlie: "?"

Vaggie: "Scream."

Charlie: "-pWAHT? Right in your FACE?"

Vaggie: "I'll scream too. We're gonna be screaming buddies."

Charlie: "This helps with stress... how."

Vaggie: "Don't you ever just wanna go apeshit?"

Charlie: "No!"

Charlie: "...."

Charlie: "Not at YOU!!!"

Vaggie: "It's not at me, it's with me."

Charlie: "I don't know, Vaggie..."

Vaggie: "Think of it like- kinda like singing. Only you're only doing it for yourself."

Charlie: "I DO sing just for myself!"

Vaggie: "And you still try to make it sound good and happy even when you don't have to and aren't feeling it. I know."

Charlie: "Well what makes screaming any better? It's almost always an angry or scared or upset sound, we hear it all day long down here and it's not fun!"

Vaggie: "People also scream when they're excited."

Charlie: "I get the feeling you want this to be an angry yell."

Vaggie: "A good angry. Yelling can feel REALLY good, babe, and doesn't have to hurt anyone."

Charlie: "Hmm."

Vaggie: "And, again, it'd make me very happy.

Charlie: "...I guess we can try it..."

Charlie: "IF I get a kiss right afterwards!"

Vaggie: "Yell and kiss? Never done that before."

Charlie: "What about when we-"

Vaggie: "Outside of bed and stuff, I mean. Ready?"

Charlie: "Deep breath and scream on three! ONE!" (deep breath)

Vaggie: "Two." (also deep breath)

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "...."

Chaggie: "......"

Chaggie: (bursts out laughing instead)

Charlie: "PFHAHA THAT WAS YOUR FAULT! You- you made a weird face at me!"

Vaggie: "I made a weird face because you made a weird face."

Charlie: "It was a glare!"

Vaggie: "How was that a glare?"

Charlie: "Because I was glaring!!"

Vaggie: "You were pouting at my lips with your cheeks puffed up."

Charlie: "I was TRYING to channel my rage at not kissing you into a good BIG angry yell!"

Vaggie: "Maybe you should channel it into a good gay kiss instead."

Charlie: "It's harder than it looks, okay! I- oh."

Charlie: "..."

Charlie: "Now THAT I can do."

[acourtofchaos]

A LITTLE DEATH (snippet/teaser) | Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader x Theodore Nott

Summary: Your best friends offer their help when they find out that you've never been able to finish with anyone you've been with. 18+

A/N: this is unedited and probably absolute trash but I was hoping to finish the fic today and that hasn't happened, so I thought i'd post a little snippet instead. I've still got a little bit to write before I edit which knowing me will mean adding another 1-2k to the word count 😂

Song inspo: A little death by the neighbourhood

But for whatever reason, you couldn’t say no to the offer they'd laid before you. 

It could have been down to the cherry vodka coating your brain in cotton wool or the firewhiskey burning warm through your chest - running hot in your blood.

The way you were high on having them both so close after another long month apart. How it always felt like you'd been missing pieces of yourself and only realised the hollowness that clung to your bones when they returned to you - a gold rush feeling chasing away the shadows as they slotted back into the places you'd carved out for them.

Maybe that was what was making you ache for them even closer, pressed up against you without an inch to breathe.

Or maybe it was the way Theo’s gaze roamed over your face, his hesitancy at war with his want until he watched the way you followed the swipe of his tongue over his bottom lip with a hitched breath, your own mouth parting slightly at the action and drawing his undivided attention.

The way Mattheo’s eyes had grown darker than the night surrounding you, ink black and hungry, his features sharp with a tinge of desperation - that insatiable need of his to indulge you in anything and everything you asked for. 

Despite it, their faces still held that touch of softness that told you if you declined they would swallow down whatever feelings had arisen from their offer and never let them show again. That no desire would ever come before your comfort and trust in both of them.

So maybe it was because you knew with utter surety that if anyone could take care of you properly, it was them. 

You let out a shaky breath, your hearbeat somewhere up in your throat but your mind made up, as you whispered. “Yeah okay, show me.”

You weren't sure what you were expecting when the words left you.

You’d seen both of the boys in action plenty of times during your time at hogwarts, the parties thrown by your housemates that practically promised an endless night of sin and debauchery.

You'd seen the way Mattheo and Theo had grinned like devils, dirty and wicked, in a pretty girl's presence when they knew they had them exactly where they wanted them. Witnessed how both of them kissed, all rough and fast and messy, hands fisting into hair and at the silky edge of a too short dress. 

But there was none of that now. 

Not yet at least.

Instead, Mattheo released a rushed breath of his own and slowly stalked towards you, walking you back until you met the firm heat of Theo’s chest.

Ringed hands pulled you in tighter, gentle as they curved around your hips, thumbs slipping beneath the hem of your shirt and pressing maddeningly slow circles into the skin there as Theo’s cheek brushed against your own when he bent to trail sweet kisses over the slope of your shoulder. 

You were dizzy from the attention almost immediately, overwhelmed in the best way with how good it felt to sink into one of your best friends hold and let him take care of you like that, eyes fluttering shut and head falling back against his shoulder as his kisses grew bolder.

When the air in front of you subtly shifted you knew Mattheo had drawn close enough for you to feel him despite the fact your bodies weren't touching. That the heat that swept over your skin was from his gaze devouring every inch of you, focusing on all the places Theo touched or kissed that made soft little noises catch at the back of your throat. 

It made the ache that had started as dull thrum in your veins grow into a wild, gnawing thing. Every inch of you electrified, teetering on an almost painful edge as you waited to feel him too, to see if the slow approach he was choosing to take would change once he got his hands and mouth on you. 

But then Mattheo closed the gap, pressing himself into you until you were wedged tight between them both and you couldn’t stop yourself from gasping, eyes flying open to lock on his.

The hand that wasn’t tangled in Theo’s hair shooting up to twist in the fabric of his shirt, whether to steady yourself or pull him closer you were unsure, but Mattheo let you grip him like a lifeline anyway whilst his fingers ghosted the lengths of your arms, sweeping up,up,up until he held your face between his calloused palms. 

He dipped his head and nudged your nose with his, close enough that each breath he exhaled was a warm huff against your lips, and when you started to think that he was attempting to steal the very air from your lungs and drive you insane he finally murmured your name.

Curled his tongue around the taste of it like it was something holy. Divine. Like it was a prayer. “You going to let me kiss you?” 

Theo groaned, lashes fluttering against your neck as the hand you had threaded through the soft strands of his hair tightened, his own coming to rest lightly against your neck, thumb pushing lightly against your jaw to keep your eyes on Mattheo and a messy kiss planted beside it when you made to look at him instead. “Answer him, dolcezza.” 

Salazar save you.

"Yes.” You rushed out, voice hoarse. “Please, Mattheo–” 

His mouth was on yours before you could finish. 

[starlightshadowsworld]

Descendants except Ben is actually very not cool with the love potion cookies.

But he doesn't release the news. Because he knows how badly it will reflect on the VK's as a whole. He knows they'll all be punished and lose even the fragile hope of ever escaping the island.

Ben won't do that to them. He was always too selfless for his own good. But he's also hurt and afraid for the first time he's been with Mal.

She looks confused and he almost laughs.

"What? Did you think I'd be okay with this? I humiliated myself infront of everyone, I've lost my girlfriend and the trust of my friends because of you."

Ben shakes his head so this was karma.

"You played with me. Just like everyone said you would. I didn't believe them because I wanted to give you a chance."

Lot of good that did him.

"I won't tell."

That suprised her and he smiled. All polite and professional and she flinched at the sight of it. They'd all grown accustomed to Ben's real smile.

"I'd be sentencing every VK to ever exist. No one else would get the chance if this got out. So no need to curse me, or whatever it is you want to do."

"I wouldn't curse you" said Mal and it hurt more than it should that he didn't believe her.

But why would he? He had no reason too. Ben simply smiled again and left. He told Audrey a lie, grovelled and apologised, a prank gone wrong and he was so sorry.

He was even if it wasn't his fault.

Ben moved out the way when Jay tried to put an arm around him. He focused on Doug whenever Carlos tried to speak to him. Made an excuse when Evie made herself known.

And steered clear of Mal at every turn. Eventually Mal told them all what transpired and to their suprise they shared her feeling of guilt.

They'd never cared how their actions would affect others. Maybe it was because Ben had been the first person to truly see them. To see not children of villian's but children.

The mission didn't feel as important now. Disappointing their parents didn't seem nearly as bad as knowing Ben may have just given up on them completly.

He had treated them as he treated everyone else. He was a safety net in an unfamiliar world, warmth when they'd only known cold.

That net was gone and they had no one to blame but themselves.

And Ben was still protecting them by hiding the truth. He could've had them hunted down and imprisoned but he chose to leave them free.

Oh sure he kept an eye on them, but it was to ensure they wouldn't hurt anyone else. Ben didn't care they'd hurt him, like the true hero that he was.

... Maybe it was time they returned the favour and protected him too.

[aritsukemo]

Heyyy! I hope the requests are open and im not putting too much work on your shoulders...

Anyways, this is my first ever time requesting... ANYTHING at all so i hope this is a not-so-hard or something that i shouldn't request (if not or you just don't feel like doing this request do NOT respond/do this request. I don't want to cause you burnouts or anything...)

Okay.. so...

May i request OMORI main gang x reader (all separate ofc) how long did it take for them to get comfortable around their s/o fully and how do they act in the developed relationship?

Thank you for your time! ^^

How long would it take the Omori Gang to become comfortable with their s/o? Well..

( @weed-stoner )

Warnings: Spoilers ahead! ( Implied in others and blatantly stated in Aubrey's part )

A/N: I AM SOOOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! I started this shortly after you requested it but then things happened and I had a little dry spout with Omori and forgot about it completely. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this! ( And again, I am SOOO sorry, love! 😅)

I'd say, based on their level of openness, the ranking of how quickly they'd become comfortable with their significant other would look something like this..

Kel

Mari

Hero

Aubrey

Sunny

Basil

And here's why..

Kel is the type of person who can vibe with anyone as long as they aren't a horrible person. ( Or act like Mikhael. Even then there's a chance. )

I'd say give it maybe a couple weeks? He's never been in any kind of relationship like this one so he may act a little different than usual for a while. Once that's over though, he's pretty much the same eager ball of sunshine! He'll always want to nag them to come out and enjoy the world with him and will do everything in his power to be around them! After all, it's way more fun hanging with them than being at home..

Now this can be up for debate, but I think Mari wouldn't take long at all to grow comfortable with her significant other. In her opinion, communication and trust are key parts to any lasting relationship so she doesn't mind coming to you when she's a little bothered by things. ( Which happens more times than one may think )

I see her taking maybe around a few months ( like three to four ) before completely letting the person in. It's nothing personal, she just wants to gauge their personality and see whether or not this relationship will be able to last.

Now, Mari doesn't act much different when she's comfortable with people. Subtle things do change though. For example, her smile seems more relaxed and she gets less upset when making mistakes around that person. Their presence soothes her and as a result, she's less uptight around them.

For Hero, it really depends on when he got into the relationship. If it was before his relationship with Mari, which is not likely, he's not that much different to Kel. He'll spend a lot time with the person and pretty much tell them anything and everything. If it's after his relationship with Mari, which is more likely, it'll be much different.

You see, Hero has experienced heartbreak in one of the worst possible ways and it'll take time for him to heal. That being said, I really don't see him dating anyone until that happens, but let's say that he does. Realistically, it take quite some time which can vary from a few months to a year to way longer than that.

Now, Hero is still Hero so he'll treat whoever he dates with the kindness and respect that they deserve and will do everything he can to make sure they're happy and healthy, ( both physically and mentally ) however when it comes to verbalizing his own emotions, that's where we hit a nail. Whoever he dates would have to be very patient with him otherwise it may cause him to put even more walls up.

When he's finally comfortable around them, it'll show. He'll start telling them things he wouldn't before and'll even rant to them about his problems occasionally. He'll be way more open with his partner and'll be just a tad bit ( a lot ) more clingy than he used to.

Aubrey is a rather tough cookie. Ever since Mari died and everyone distanced themselves, forcing her to cope with everything alone, she has never truly let her walls down in front of others. And, if someone attempted to break down those walls, she'll grow defensive and even violent towards that person.

How long it would take Aubrey to even be comfortable enough to date someone really depends on the personality. Like, I see her letting her guard down quicker if the person is more kind and patient with her like Mari rather than someone's who's short-tempered or rough around the edges like her.

When Aubrey is comfortable around her significant other, she'll be less afraid to tell them how she feels. She'll vent to them, but because of that, she'll be more shy towards them. Aubrey'll also hold that person in higher regard than others and'll hold them close to her heart. When they scold her, she actually listens and tries to do better. If they're upset, she'll be the first to notice and'll be there to listen to them rant/help them out in any possible way. And, she'll always try to make sure that her little fights and other violent affairs never mesh and disturb the person's daily life. In a way, she sees this relationship as a way to pay them back for putting up with her for so long so she'd pretty much do anything for that person.

Sunny's next and oh boy..

I honestly don't see him indulging in any kind of romance with anyone unless him and that person were like childhood friends—I'm talkin' never leaving each other's side, seen everywhere together type of close childhood friend with someone—and even then, it's hard to imagine post-traumatized him feeling comfortable around anyone besides his former friends, let alone a relationship. But for the sake of this, let's say he does..

I can't put a time limit on how long it'll take him simply because I see it depending on which ending we're talking about. Obviously if we're talking about any of the bad endings, he's pretty much a lost dead cause. He's not going to make any attempt to open up to them and no matter how much they may try, there will always be distance between them. Now, if we're talking about good ending Sunny, the person actually has a chance.

There will be a lot of trial and error simply because Sunny's used to keeping things bottled up. He's not used to being upfront and truthful and he's only used to running away and not facing his problems. That being said, I see the process quickening a bit if the person he's dating is super gentle and patient with him. If they just gave him time, and a tiny push here and there, he'll come around. And when he does, he'd be stuck to them like glue.

I feel like he'd make it known with his body when he's truly comfortable around his partner. Whether his shoulders noticeably slump in their presence or maybe he lets his guard down enough to hold you or lean on you. Just something that'll let the person know that he feels truly safe around them! I see him being sorta touch-hungry and expressing it once he's comfortable with that person by giving them a bunch of hugs and cuddles and such.

And hey, maybe he'll even talk! ( Nah I'm playing BAHAHA- )

Finally, we have our sweet boy Basil. The gardening genius that carries a ginormous bouquet of trauma wherever he goes..

It's easy to say that whether the person was his friend prior to the incident or not, it'll take forever for Basil to truly feel comfortable around them.

If they were his friend prior to the incident, well, it all really depends. Was he close ( closer than he was with the others ) with them before the incident occurred? Did they distance themself from the group like everyone else? Did they stick to him and never let him go? Depending on what the person does all depends on how long it'll take. To me, I definitely feel like Basil would spill everything eventually if the person decided to stick with him when everyone grew apart and, as a result, would become sort of this unhealthy lifeline to Basil. Since they'd be the one he confides in about everything, it would grow to the point that they'd be the one thing keeping him together. He'd be at their mercy, and in a way, they'd be at his and nothing would really change until probably after the truth comes out ( if it were to come out ) and Basil got the proper help he needs.

If they weren't his friend before the incident, good luck. They'd be lucky enough to even get a full conversation from him, much less get him to be their friend and harbor any kind of romantic feelings for them. But let's say that is the case. Let's say that through some stroke of luck they managed to befriend Basil and eventually end up in a relationship with him. The person is going to have to put up with a lot. Basil is a very sensitive person and all it takes is one bad interaction for him to completely shut them out. They'd have to tread very lightly ( but not too lightly; if they don't try enough, the relationship's not getting anywhere ) or else they'll end up back at square one. I see this taking years ( specifically four or more ) and really, I only see him completely growing comfortable with the person after some extensive therapy.

When he's finally, fully comfortable with them, he'll be way more verbal and open. The fear of being rejected/judged would've been less apparent and slowly pushed to the back of his mind. Being with them for so long, ( and having gotten at least some bit of therapy since I literally don't see this happening otherwise ) he's grown to trust them to some extent. He's also grown to love rambling to them about whatever's on his mind. Whether that be about flowers or things much darker. I see him craving their touch and he wouldn't mind asking. ( But not too many times, he's still Basil after all ) I see those two spending so much time together that Polly would see them as an extension of the household. ( She'd fix them dinner every evening and would grow concerned if they didn't show up to get it and say hey to Basil. That's how much they'd be together. )

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[isa-ghost]

In honor of phil confirming that (most) rp phils are the same, maybe some headcanons about q!phil with some of the ex-dsmp members? Or veterans/smpearth?

For the sake of keeping tons of opportunity for more Phil/DSMP member headcanons in the future, I'll focus one duo! And it'd be a fucking crime if I didn't start with Emduo >:)

I WILL say here for anyone thinking of sending more Phil/DSMP requests: I will not be doing Dream Team or Wilbur & Phil. Even though the latter had a huge impact on cPhil.

These might be more general Emduo than DSMP Era specific but hey, that leaves room for more requests too. :D

Dear god these are reminding me I should rewatch Phil's DSMP vods, I'm so rusty on this shit. Apologies in advance if suddenly I get insane about cPhil in the future LMAO.

qPhil headcanons masterlist

First off, I personally don't ship them romantically. I'm not even sure about shipping them as a QPR, that's a maybe. But I do know they were ride or die brothers in arms. The unstoppable force to the other's immovable object. A duo that's down in history in every realm Phil's been in so far.

Even so, just bc he had no feelings of that kind for Techno specifically, spending so much time with him as just the two of them still contributed to him going "Hm. Yknow what, I think I could see myself having a male life partner maybe." So thanks Techno for still playing SOME part in Phil's journey into being fruity.

Techno was one of the first immortals Phil ever encountered, at least the first one he befriended and stayed around long term. It.. was a breath of fresh air to say the least. To know he had eternity with Techno if all things went well, to never have to fear being alone again, knowing there'd always be a when I see you again.

But Techno was immortal, not invulnerable. Same as Phil. Phil was shattered when he lost him. It's by far the worst instance of being reminded he's permanently fated to lose any and all attachments he makes.

Techno found endless entertainment in Phil basically playing Get Off My Lawn with every other member ever whenever they'd come bother the two in their tundra home. He'd purposely go without additional measures to keep people out and away just because he loved watching Phil deal with it or hearing him rant about how many times he had to while Techno was asleep or away.

Phil personally did NOT like some of the "allyships" Techno chose to make, but he was still ride or die with him, so he tolerated them and helped him. And he trusts Techno. He knows in the end, Techno saw some kind of benefit for them. Or the two of them mutually agreed that the destruction entailed in the task was worth it.

Though that changed throughout their time in DSMP. Repeatedly being used and weaponized or crawled to out of desperation rather than genuine desire. It made Phil HATE people for a while, especially mortals. It's why QSMP has him so fucked up present day. For an entire year he was wanted by people, for him. He encouraged Techno to go as ballistic as he did. Even if it was a means to someone else's ends, if they were brutal then at least it demonstrated that the two of them were NOT to be fucked with or taken for granted.

The fucking house arrest and "festival." GOD. That was the first time in a long time Emduo had endured some kind of trauma together. It kicked Phil while he was already down. The fact that none of them cared how he felt or thought in the wake of putting his son out of his misery, now they were giving him a front row seat to the execution of the only person close to him he had left in this realm. Techno felt like the only tangible thing he had left, and they had the audacity to force him to watch them attempt to rip that thing away as if he hadn't lost enough or didn't care that he did. The attempt made Phil EXTREMELY protective of Techno, even though Techno was extremely able to handle himself.

The Syndicate was Emduo's attempt at a found family of their own. What L'Manberg had going was solid minus the government part, it wasn't the community that was the problem. As two immortals who didn't have much besides each other, it was nice to take in a couple people who'd been wronged or forsaken just like them and give them a place to belong and hopefully find some peace. Besides, Phil LOVED being a mentor for them, showing them how to fight & such. Training them alongside Techno,, 🤩 That was his happy place, teaching others to be as strong as them.

Phil's always been more of a Support role guy. He's said it himself plenty of times. That went for Techno especially. He let Techno call the shots, and he'd be at his side no matter what. There's something to be said about how in the same way Etoiles said "I am your arms, just tell me who needs to die," Phil was very much the same way for Techno.

God, honestly, aside from the whole being used repeatedly thing, DSMP gave Phil so much nostalgia for SMPE. Him and Techno vs everything else. He'd missed wearing those antarctic outfits.

When he arrived in DSMP, he didn't expect Techno to be there. He was ELATED, even though he was nowhere near in the emotional state to show it.

I am OBLIGATED to mention the oopsie with the creeper in Techno's cabin. Phil was so bad at playing dumb about it and pretending it never happened. Techno would've never let him live it down.

Phil often falls into mentor roles whenever he's among people. He did no differently in DSMP. But not for Techno. He always appreciated how Techno didn't need him, he wanted him. Now that he's gone, Phil really hopes he finds that kind of companionship again. It's not quite the same as what he has with Kristin or Rose.

After Techno left DSMP, Phil grew even more protective of the tundra. He viciously forbid anyone outside of the Syndicate from coming around unless they had a damn good reason. He'd sooner throw his friendship emerald in lava than let something happen to the cabins while Techno was gone, no matter how long that might've been.

[coraniaid]

I read this post the other day and now I can't help but try to plot out a S3 AU in which Gwendolyn Post is just a little more patient (and maybe, as a result, she's not yet managed to get herself expelled from the Watcher's Council, so she doesn't have to worry about being exposed as a fraud the minute Rupert Giles thinks to make a single phone call).

A world where Gwen realizes that having unlimited access to a emotionally unstable teenage Slayer with no friends or family in town -- a Slayer who will do almost anything for the smallest scraps of positive attention from an even vaguely maternal authority figure -- might, on balance, be more beneficial to her personal quest for power and magical treasure than immediately burning all her bridges to steal a metal glove that can't ever be taken off and continually casts a spell that summons lightning directly down on to the person wearing it.  

Put yourself in Mrs Gwendolyn Post's shoes. 

Isn't it much smarter to keep playing the part of the stern but genuine Watcher, a part you did after all train for for years of your life -- and maybe quietly help yourself to a few of the more valuable magical items your Slayer happens to bring you on the side -- than to risk it all for one single prize, however rare?  If, with just a little molding and prodding and some barbed compliments now and then, you can get that teenage girl to go out and kill demons and steal all their stuff and bring it all back to you, no questions asked, where's the harm?  All you have to do is keep making sure she remembers that she's fundamentally unlovable and unwanted and that nobody else but you will ever accept her and the best she can ever hope for is your occasional fleeting and conditional praise, as long as she does what she's told and keeps it all a secret.  Half of that is taken verbatim from the Council's own script for enlisting new Slayers anyway. It'll be easy.

Maybe you tell her how impressed you are that she's training throughout the winter, rather than letting herself get distracted by things like holidays or parties or presents. Tell her some half-true story about the focus and determination of long-dead Slayers before her.  (You can go to all the parties you want, of course.  These rules don’t apply to you.)  Maybe you show up at her motel room briefly later, just to make sure she didn't take up that irritating other girl's unexpected offer to go to her house for dinner.  Maybe you reward her dedication to the cause with some little unimportant bauble; something cheap and meaningless you notice she keeps wearing for weeks afterwards, even if she pretended not to be impressed with your gift at the time.  Maybe you stick the crappy little (obviously shoplifted) presents that she nervously watches you unwrap later in a drawer somewhere and never think about them again.

Maybe you give her a little bit of advance warning about the Cruciamentum. Not early enough she can tell anyone else, of course, but early enough that she's ready for it. Not because you care (and you really don’t; she's an easily manipulated idiot and you don't respect her in the slightest), but because you want her to realize that the rest of the Council can't be trusted. That Mr Giles can't be trusted.  That there's only one person in all the world who she can trust.  

And if one night she shows up at your door uninvited to tell you that she killed an innocent man by mistake (you really don't care about this either), and she doesn't have anyone else to turn to (you try not to make it too obvious how pleased you are about that), then ... well, what an opportunity for you.  Obviously you're not going to let anyone else on the Council know about this: maybe they'd take her back to England, wasting all your hard work. Maybe they'd send a new Watcher to interrogate her.  But the Sunnydale police department aren't exactly competent.  You can make it all go away, you tell her.  And you do. 

But you let her know, subtly -- just not too subtly -- how disappointed you are by her carelessness.  How she'll have to work a lot harder from now on to get back into your good graces.  How you've really risked a lot for her tonight (you haven't) and how much she owes you now.  How you'll expect her to do better from now on (or at least to do more, more often, without ever asking inconvenient questions).

The disgrace was almost getting caught, you'll tell her later. That's what you found so deplorable. The mistake was needing to be bailed out.  There’s no excuse for sloppiness.  Killing some idiot who got in the way while the Slayer was doing her job though … well, Faith’s right to think that he wasn’t important.  He didn’t matter.  Oh, and the Sunnydale natural history museum is hosting an exhibit of a few rare magical objects next week that it would probably be best to keep in safe hands.  (Which is to say, of course, your hands.)  You don’t think Buffy or Giles need to know about it, do you, Faith? It would be best to be discreet about securing the necessary items, but if some idiot happens to get in the way, well...

There's no real risk of Faith being tricked into outing herself, the way she was tricked into revealing she was working for the Mayor in canon, because it's not a secret that Gwendolyn Post is Faith's Watcher.  Faith is supposed to listen to her Watcher, isn’t she?  And if her Watcher tells Faith to kill some demon and bring her the valuable books he was trying to sell, why shouldn't Faith do it?  Killing demons is her job, isn't it?  She’s good at killing things.  Good at stealing things, too, it turns out. Sometimes you don't even have to pretend to be impressed.

If Faith seems increasingly sad and withdrawn all the time, why do you care? It doesn't make her any less useful. And if Faith doesn't talk to anyone much anymore, and keeps some of her missions secret from her fellow Slayer and all of that other Slayer's little friends and hangers-on, what's so strange about that?  They're not Faith's friends, after all. None of them are.  Faith doesn't have friends.  Never needed them.  She's got somebody though.  She's got Mrs Post.

[thriftedtchotchkes]

piece of me

pairing: younger!mike schmidt & baby!abby schmidt

summary: at 22 years old, mike is given custody of his infant sister after the loss of their parents. though he might not ever truly feel worthy of her, there's one thing he'll always be certain of—they belong together.

warnings: pre-fnaf movie au, inspired by the official movie novel, loss of parents, mentions of depression and anxiety, childhood trauma

word count: <1k

Mike never asked for this.

As his tiny sister reaches for him from her playpen, his first instinct is to wait for their mom to pick her up and give her the attention she needs. But their mom isn't here anymore. Neither is their dad.

It's just Mike and Abby now, and he has no idea what to do in a situation like this. The longer she makes grabby hands in his direction, the more upset she gets, but he feels like he can't move. He's frozen, riddled with guilt because he already knows he can't help her.

Mike isn't equipped for this. He's not ready for this.

Kids were never on the agenda, if there was ever an agenda to begin with. The horrible truth is that he can't be trusted with that kind of responsibility. He already proved that a long time ago. With Garret.

The thought alone is so painful, he pushes it to the back of his mind to preserve his own sanity. Right now, it's just another reminder of how much of a fuck-up he is. A failure of a big brother, destined to destroy yet another little life. And this time has the potential to be so much worse.

Abby's barely 11 months old, which means he actually has to raise her. Between long shifts at a dead-end job, he'll have to teach her how to walk and talk and read. Buy her diapers, her toys and clothes, her formula. She's not even old enough for solid food, for fuck's sake.

She needs her mom. Instead, she's stuck with him—her shitty older brother who's still glued to the couch, incompetent as ever. She's not crying at least, so it's not an emergency—yet. But her little button nose is starting to scrunch up, and that's never a good sign.

Another moment passes as they continue to watch each other, stuck at an impasse only Mike has the power to end, if only he could just fucking move. But before he can convince his limbs to cooperate, Abby's hands drop to the wooden slats of her pen like she's finally given up. Her bottom lip wobbles dangerously, and his chest seizes in panic.

Okay, now it's an emergency. Now, he has to do something. Tears well up in her eyes, and she hiccups around what he assumes is the first of many sobs to come. What is he supposed to do? How does he stop this? When no solution comes, he feels his palpitating heart break—for both of them.

Because Mike is lying to himself.

Deep down, he knows what she wants, but he's too scared of the consequences of giving in. Just pick her up. Just hold her. But he can't. He doesn't want her to get attached. It'll only make it that much harder when he inevitably lets her down and they take her away from him. Maybe they should. What kind of monster refuses to comfort a crying child?

From the outside looking in, he's sure his actions—or lack thereof—seem cruel. They'd never know his throat is starting to constrict or that his head is filled with so much white noise, it's impeding his capacity for logical thought, or any thought at all. He wishes he was a more capable man. A better man. But he's broken. From the outside or not, anyone can see that.

Except for Abby. What must she see when she looks at him? Babies, especially ones as perceptive as her, are supposed to be able to sense tumultuous emotions, so why doesn't that explain the way she's looking at him right now? Like he's familiar, like she knows he's family. Like he's her world.

Their eyes lock, and suddenly it's like he's looking in a mirror. The same brown irises and dark, curly hair. Their father's nose and their mother's smile. If he wanted to, he could see that smile again. It's been a long time since it graced his own face, but if he just picked her up. If he just held her.

An unexpected wave of clarity washes over him. This responsibility wasn't forced on him. He chose this, to care for her and provide her with a happier life than she would've had with their cold, money-hungry aunt.

He chose to raise her because regardless of how ill-equipped he is to be a parent, she deserves to be loved, and he will always be able to give her that. And when she reaches out her tiny hand again with hope in her tear-filled, brown eyes, he realizes she's choosing him, too.

Mike never asked for this. But as he lifts Abby into his arms and cradles her against his chest, he knows in his heart that this is where she's meant to be.

thanks for reading!

divider by @saradika-graphics

[noblehouseofgay]

Just Don't Leave Me Alone

Jegulus and Black Brothers angst

Platonic moonwater

Hurt/comfort

Tw minor suicidal thoughts

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The almost summer warmth curled around James and Regulus like a blanket. They were sitting by the Black Lake, Regulus' head resting against James, hands were intertwined.

Regulus was happy. For once, he was happy. He had the love of his life. He'd keep this for as long as he could.

But of course, he never gets to keep good things.

Large trudging footsteps came from behind them. They both turned around to find Sirius, already pushing them apart.

"Prongs?!" "Sirius-" "What the fuck is this huh??"

Regulus watched everything as if it was happening double the speed. He couldn't speak. All he knew was Sirius pushed him away from James and hadn't even looked at Regulus once.

Suddenly, Sirius was stomping away and James was following after, begging for his best friend to hear him out.

Remus, who had come over with Sirius, gave Regulus a nod and followed the other two.

Regulus was left completely alone. Following Sirius and dealing with his outburst was more important than acknowledging Regulus.

He stared blankly at the spot James had been sitting in. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever be allowed close to James again.

His eyes stung, he pinched them closed, fighting away the tears. Slowly sitting back down, he took a breath and looked out at the Black Lake.

Sometimes he thought about falling in. He wondered what would happen if he did. If anyone would care.

Maybe James. Maybe Sirius if he was lucky.

Regulus did have friends of his own, though he was sure they'd be fine without him.

Regulus sat watching the Black Lake for hours. He didn't know how much time had passed, but the sun was setting. Footsteps yet again snapped him from his daze, except this time they were quieter.

Remus came and sat down next to him. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes.

"Sirius will calm down. He was just surprised. He'll let it go."

Regulus scoffed. "As if he'll ever let James near me again."

"Look, I know your relationship is complicated, but your brother doesn't hate you. As much as he won't admit that, I can tell."

Regulus let the silence sit in the air. After a while he spoke quietly. "I'm not sure where he and I went so wrong. I miss him." Usually he'd never make such an admission, but he didn't mind Remus. Felt like he could be trusted.

"After Sirius calms sown, I'm sure he'll come talk to you. Maybe when that happens, you two can- I don't know, maybe talk about fixing things. Even if you need a mediator to keep you from killing each other." Remus smirked a little.

"Sometimes I'd let him kill me if it meant he'd talk to me." He felt a hand gently on his shoulder. "It'll be alright." Remus stood up and reached down a hand. "Now come on, it's getting late." Regulus took his hand and stood.

They walked side by side in comfortable silence, parting ways with a nod.

Maybe things would be ok.

[absolutebl]

Hi!

So apparently GMMTV will be announcing their 2024 line up in October!

Which actors do you think will be paired together this time? I feel like Mix and Pond have hinted they will be studying more so maybe not their pairings…. GeminiFourth said they will have a series so definitely them…

I would love to see ThorFluke plus Pawin with anyone and Drake with anyone!

What are your predictions?

Ooooo, GMMTV 2024 Pure Speculation

(remember if it's not data driven I'm historically pretty bad at this, but sure, let's shoot the shizz)

Most Likely

EarthMix - they're reading v burned out (in addition to Mix + school) but they are currently GMMTV's cash cow so I can't imagine GMMTV won't try to put them in something, no matter what Mix said... but it's possible they'll be let rest for most of 2024.

First & Khao - naturally, if GMMTV can find a script the boys like, these two are likely their the biggest pair earners (if EarthMix really are out).

GeminiFourth - of course, the new princes

ForceBook - honestly they are steady, reliable workhorses who visually suit many BL scripts, they seem easy to work with, fun, and game. Not the most charismatic pair and I'm shaky on their range and versatility, but GMMTV clearly doesn't feel that way. I think it's pretty likely they will get something... I just hope it is something interesting. Are they bankable enough for a historical? That's the real question.

Not Sure

JoongDunk - I really don't know, I think they are slightly more likely than not but they keep getting lackluster scripts. GMMTV is more likely to blame the pair than the show. And it is possible they are just a lackluster pair... too.

JimmySea - what happen to (or will happen with) Last Twilight?

I'd like to see Jimmy paired with someone else. He's too charismatic for Sea. To really break us they should pair him with Gun and just burn down the world. GMMTV would never do this, tho.

Least Likely

It's unlikely PondPhuwin will lead out a show. Pond def said something about going back to school. (Which is code for a long break, if nothing else). They're good but less $ than EarthMix so I think GMMTV will back off from them.

OffGun - I'm not saying it won't happen anymore, but...

TayNew - see above

Bright with... anyone but Win.

A queer can dream, tho.

Some noodling

I do think First & Khao were successful enough, and Only Friends will be enough of a sensation, for GMMTV to consider more First Khao style stuff. AKA instead of just dropping a whole pair, GMMTV will try rearranging pairs. Especially for couples that had previously been mostly just sides.

So we can expect Neo, Mark, Marc, Puwin, Aou, possibly even the twins or the Flukes show up paired "experimentally" with different other actors. Some that may genuinely surprise us.

That said, I'd like some more role swapping too.

For example, with Pond away, and him getting older and being SO established in the genre, I would love to see Phuwin play a seme roll. Not sure he has the personality for it in terms of how he's bonded with some of the newer GMMTV talent since I don't watch any of the variety/BTS anymore, but he has the screen presence.

Remember originally Neo & Phuwin had a pairing... I wonder if that would ever happen again.

I would love love LOVE to see Tay paired with someone else. I thought he was a revelation in 3 Will Be Free showing range I'd no idea he had and he's such a big puppy and friendly with everyone. I bet he could get many partners to trust and relax.

Similarly New needs to play a seme. I think he once said he'd rather not do BL with anyone but Tay, but I still think he'd be fun to see.

So New is less likely, but I think we can safely assume Tay would be game. With TayNew it's whether their shipper/stalker fans would "allow" this.

What GMMTV Wants/Needs

I said in the past they needed to onboard new talent and they went for free agents (Joong, Perth). I thought they'd go for whole pairs, and I still think they'd be wise to consider this.

Given they're likely shifting focus on expansion into darker, higher heat, and more gritty arenas (which I think they need to do given the paucity of scripts within their preferred BL style, the tenor of the market, and the aging of their existing stable) what they want is Zee++. Now they can't wrestle him/his pair free of Dormundi, so...

For solos they are looking for:

actors who have lost their pair, have range into dark territory, will do high heat, and can play harsher seme roles (tall a bonus.)

If they're smart they make a play for Bible, but I wouldn't rule out Lee Long Shi. Both actors have a style that fills a niche in the GMMTV stable and are pro enough to work well in a new pair that GMMTV sets for them.

You KNOW they want Bible. How could they not? Can you imagine?

If they go after a pair?

If they're smart as I think they are? They want NetJames. And they might be able to get them, depending on contracts. NetJames has been awful quiet recently, they either are actually finally filming Love Upon a Time or that's fallen through and they're in contract negotiations. YinWar and JaFirst are also tempting prospects, I would imagine. Especially Ja.

It's this "new pair to GMMTV" announcement I'm most interested in, come October.

I think I'm leaving a key high heat pair on the table, but GMMTV also has a specific appearance and acting style they tend to cast for, and not all of the current indy heat pairs have that. Plus their are high value pairs that clearly do not want to sign with or work with GMMTV (OhmFluke for example) so that's a factor.

Finally, you KNOW they want to recreate the magic of GeminiFourth with young talent so I would bet they are actively recruiting high school grade pink milk via auditions, so we can expect one set of totally fresh faces.

Also tumblr ate half this post so I might have missed a few pairs worth discussing, because I had them but it deleted them. Don't blame me, blame tumblr, and leave a comment.

FYI my predictions for 2023 were as follows:

10 GMMTV THAI BL 2023 Predictions (and how I did)

(these are the ones I made last year before their announcements)

EarthMix (yes, 2x)

something with Joong but not paired with Dunk (nope, they tried the same thing again)

dito Jimmy (not sure what's going on there)

what the hell: Lee does a BL (still no, last man standing)

probably a new attempt at ForceBook (yep)

2 set in high school and fewer set in uni (yep/nope)

at least 1 set in an office of some kind and at least 2 set in the countryside (yep/sorta but mostly nope)

one experimental paranormal/alt reality/time slip (yep)

something Friend Zone messy featuring several LBGTQ+ characters and couples and higher heat (yep)

an attempt to resurrect big guns like TayNew (yep - if cherry magic happens) or even BrightWin (nope, they went for OffGun instead, who I had thought were out)

So here's my...

10 GMMTV THAI BL 2024 Predictions

First & Khao lead out something non-school and complex (GMMTV BL grows up)

ForceBook & GeminiFourth get new shows

Phuwin paired with someone else

GMMTV starts experimenting more with busting up and rearranging pairs

What the hell, Tay does a BL with not New.

We see Joong and Perth star in something GMMTV but not BL

GMMTV pulls in at least one established outside talent who plays harsh seme roles and has a more aggressive tone

GMMTV recruits/onboards an established pair who can and is willing to do higher heat

They option something v complex: crime thriller, mystery, suspense, historical even, I wonder if they might be interested in adapting say... Trapped.

JoJo gets to helm another "off brand" show

What I want them to do?

Finally admit that they can take an established script and "make it gay" and just LEAN in. Descendants of the Sun, but gay. Business Proposal, but gay. Home Town Cha Cha Cha... but gay. Thailand has the latent pool and the screen time but they don't have the scripts/stories.

Time to look to Korea and just fill in the gap that Korea is already leaving on the table (by only doing short form BLs).

Korea has the romances. Hundreds of them. MANY of which are not gender dependent.

Can you fucking imagine if Boss & Babe had been that exact cast but GMMTV doing a gay Dali and the Cocky Prince instead? It would have been amazing.

(source)

[ohgodsalazarwhy]

"Oh darling, you're looking quite the fright this morning."

The look Gale gave him could charitably be described as displeased. They'd arrived at Last Light Inn late last night after a hard battle in the shadow cursed lands. All of them had found beds and collapsed into them still covered in blood and viscera, their wounds healed just enough by an exhausted Shadowheart.

Except for Astarion, who had come through unscathed. He'd tranced for a few hours then rose to bathe and brush his hair, using touch to determine how the curls were sitting. So he was radiant and beautiful when Gale opened eyes crusted with sleep. His long hair was a rats nest on his head and he had a black eye from getting hit by a rock during the battle.

Astarion smiled sweetly and fluttered his long lashes, "What's that look for?"

Gale grimaced and painfully turned so his back was to Astarion, pointedly ignoring him. He was still in his dirty robes, he saw several tears that needed mending. Astarion grabbed his brush and moved to kneel on the floor by Gale's bed.

"Is this anyway to treat the man who saved your life last night?" Astarion asked, his touch gentle as he worked his fingers through Gale's tangled hair, getting out the worst knots before he started to brush it properly.

"If I recall," Gale said, in a tone that implied he recalled in perfect detail, "it was I who saved you from a rather nasty lightning spell."

"Oh, was that you?" he asked ever so innocently. Astarion pulled Gale's hair out from under him so he could brush every inch of it, fingers following the brush. Gale needed a bath, his hair was greasy and it had some dried blood in it. Astarion felt his still heart twist in a way he didn't care for.

"What are you doing?" asked Gale, a hint of hesitance sneaking into his voice. He turned his head to look at Astarion from over his shoulder. He had such beautiful brown eyes, so gentle and trusting. Astarion fought between wanting to use him and wanting to protect him.

"What does it look like? I can't stand seeing your hair like this," Astarion said, pressing his finger against Gale's cheek so he would turn his head back around. "You look terrible. I don't like to look at terrible things."

"And yet you chose to share a room with me," Gale observed.

"Mere coincidence, darling," Astarion said airily. He gathered Gale's hair between his fingers, feeling how smooth the strands were now. Once Gale washed they'd be full and fluffy, no doubt silky soft to the touch. "You should let me braid your hair back, keep it from getting like this when we set out again."

"...very well," Gale said quietly. His tone was inscrutable. Perhaps a little sad. Maybe a little hopeful?

Astarion let his touch linger in a way he didn't with anyone else. He wanted to touch Gale, he felt safe doing so. Felt safe sharing a room with him, flirting with him, teasing him. Gale would never hurt him.

Such a pity Astarion knew he couldn't promise the same in return.

He reluctantly pulled his hand away and stood up, clearing his throat. "Well don't stay in bed all day, darling. I can hear the others rising and you know Tav will leave you behind if you're not ready when she is." He blew Gale a playful kiss and left the room before he could say something stupid.

Something true.

[skyesdaisys]

Hey Jaiden!! I hope ur doing well today, I wanted to ask if you could write a Robin Buckley x reader where reader has to watch from the sidelines as Robin pines over Vickie and doesn't realize reader is right there. Then reader starts talking to simeone else (to distract herself from Robin because she believes it's a lost cause) and Robin's like maybe i do like reader?

Thanks:)

i'm doing well, thank you for asking <3 and oh my god, of course. i love robin so much, she's everything to me

—

and i despise my jealous eyes

pairing: robin buckley x fem!reader, and minor robin x vickie & steve x reader

summary: having a crush on your girl best friend was... complicated. even when knowing that she's attracted to girls, just one girl particularly, and that girl was not you

cw: many cups of angst, one sided pining turned two sided (because they're idiots), jealousy (on both ends), happy ending

a/n: robin is everything to me, she's a version of me as well because i kin her so bad, i just felt like she was created for me (as well as for other neurodivegent sapphics out there). also title is lyrics from lacy by olivia rodrigo and i thought it fit here

you knew and have been friends with robin buckley since middle school and during that time, you've been inseparable. your parents would say how much you're both attached to each others hips, which was quite the understatement.

when the both of you were close enough, she came out to you. trusting you enough with who she really is and has not told anyone else. of course you'd understand, maybe not entirely for your 13 year old brain, but.... how could you hate your best friend, your ONLY friend for who she loves? you thought people hating on someone for that was dumb, yet again, you're young, you don't know much of the world and why they act the way it does. but nothing was ever gonna change on how you viewed robin.

once you started high school together, you've experienced some changes yourself. that you found yourself going through an experience that your friend was a couple years prior, but at the time, it didn't mean anything important. and you though, 'this can't be a coincidence that i'm attracted to girls, as is my best friend' and speaking of that best friend.... through this discovery journey, you started seeing robin a different light. she was still your best friend of course, but these feelings were just growing into more than friendship, and that feeling never went away.

you were unsure about your sexuality for most of your high school experience, up until senior year. robin was in band, and she met this cute girl in band, vickie, and it made your just a little bit angry. and it's not just the fact this girl is taking time away from your best friend, but it was the fact robin was looking at a girl like that, and that girl wasn't you.

it's not like you hated vickie, you don't even know her, it was just possessiveness that got to you. everything was just so fucked and you didn't wanna talk about your feelings because you weren't exactly the best at communicating your emotions. especially when you don't like talking about them to begin with.

so, the second best option was to move on, though that probably would take multiple year and not over a span of a few days. you needed some type of distraction, of course. so you decided to hang out with steve harrington. and you a a freshman would be confused and wouldn't believe they'd be friends with steve harrington during your senior year.

and we'll, you were in luck. steve was looking for someone to take as a date to lucas' championship game so you took the opportunity to volunteer. and getting to know steve, he wasn't exactly your type but he was sweet, and yeah, a bit dumb, but he had heart and cared for others. and obviously this wouldn't be a permanent thing for you, but you felt kind of sad for steve because he's been mentioning about finding a girl who isn't leaving out of state to go to college, to find someone who isn't gonna be some boring one night stand and never speak to you again. you knew he wanted something real with someone, maybe it wasn't you but... you wanted to help.

to be honest, he was a gentleman. it wasn't even a dinner date, it was going to a high school basketball game and the two of you were sitting in the bleachers. he did buy you some food as you watched the game, you weren't overly invested since you didn't know much about basketball, but you wanted to support lucas.

during the game though, you and robin occasionally gave one another glances. this had made your heart beat a little too fast, but you ignored it.

the game was over and you and steve were walking towards his car to take you home, then you made a pretty dumb move and kissed him. obviously you didn't like him like that but... distracting yourself in anyway with anyone felt good, but it made your stomach twist up in knots. that had gotten progressively worse that robin was watching the entire thing by the time you pulled away. and she was walking away heartbroken and you were just standing there frozen til steve snapped you out of it by clapping his hands together to get your attention, "hey!" and you looked at him, and you knew, that he knew, "go after her, okay? i'll be fine."

"i'm sorry, steve." you felt awful for using him like this, he was your friend and you took advantage. but he brushed it off, "it's fine. i'd rather have robin be okay than me." and you smiled at him before running after your long time best friend. and you called out to her, "robin, can we please talk?"

"there's nothing to talk about, alright." she didn't turn back to look at you and just kept walking, "i just want you and steve to be happy. i don't wanna get in the way of that." but you managed to catch up to her, making her face you. "that's not what that was, okay? he's not my type." and you got her full attention, "like i won't deny he's easy on the eyes and i think he deserves a girl who'll make him happy, but that's not me. i kissed him because i wanted to distract myself from my feelings. and i'm bad at talking about my feelings. so i just push them down and pray that they'll disappear over time but... some stuff just stays."

robin was trying to understand what you meant, she couldn't exactly understand who you were referring to, "so what are you saying exactly?"

"i like you." you blurted out, "maybe even love you. you're my best friend, and i didn't wanna ruin years of friendship because of how i felt about you. and you have a crush on vickie, which is cool. i'm happy for you, but i just... can't go on without being honest with myself. and i'm sorry if i'm talking too much and i-" but the buckley had cut you off with a kiss. and this time around, it felt great, and it felt real. the feelings and emotions were all there on both ends. she pulled away a few inches to just rest her forehead against yours, "i feel the exact same way. for years, actually."

you gasped in surprised and lightly and playfully punched her shoulder, "are you serious? why didn't you say anything?"

"i didn't think you'd feel the same." and she pulled away from your face with a big smile on her face, "especially since i thought you were straight and i didn't wanna ruin our friendship." and the two of you giggled like idiots. you brought her into another kiss before hugging her tightly, "we're both such idiots."

"yeah, pretty much." she chuckled.

[ghxstlly]

Feanger when things get rough

As we all well know, relationships are not always sunshine and rainbows. Couples won't always get along, and can go through periods of awkwardness or anger that can make a romantic courtship really rocky at times. Fear and Anger are not exempt from this.

In my opinion, fostering a ship can be a surprisingly rewarding creative endeavor when you delve into the more negative aspects of a pairing— things they argue and fight about and have to make up over. Don't get me wrong, their happiness and chemistry is the #1 thing that makes a ship so fun to play with. But thinking what makes it tick is an undervalued way to really flesh your ship out in the theatre of your mind.

That said, what do I think makes Feanger tick?

Ramblings under the cut

Anger is a person who has a lot of judgemental thoughts and opinions about others— that's just the way he is. It's one of the pillars of his character, and causes him to be blunt/short with others. It isn't that he's necessarily trying to be malicious or hurtful, it's moreso that what he thinks is right and what he thinks others ought to do or be is often at the forefront of his mind when interacting with his colleagues.

And while a lot of that stuff is not expressed, his temper can cause some of these opinions to burst out in a way that is usually tactless and/or hurtful.

Anger is also not a person who apologizes. Seldom does he feel he's in the wrong after doing or saying something, it's part of his bluntness and sometimes harsh ways of going about things.

Combine these two negative traits, and you can end up with arguments or fights where potentially hurtful things are said but not apologized for, because although Anger wouldn't normally say them out loud, oftentimes he still believes them to be true. Again, it isn't a matter of him being abusive or intentionally malicious, he's just overly opinionated/judgemental.

Fear is not necessarily a person who can easily handle that kind of scrutiny. Although words of that sort sting him about just as much as they'd sting anyone, no more no less, it's the self doubt and stress that manifests as a result that gets to him. Insults and jabs he can handle fine, in fact he's just as capable of saying things in the heat of the moment that have the potential to be hurtful, but afterwards, while they "cool down," anxious thoughts form that maybe Anger doesn't like him as much as he thought he did, and a wide gap forms between them where he and Anger seldom speak or interact.

It's an uncomfortable, mutual "shunning" that occurs, wherein Fear grapples with the anxiety that they may never be close again while Anger gradually becomes remorseful but is either too hesitant or too proud to act on it.

The longest I would imagine this going on for is a full week and a half, the shortest, maybe four days. During that time, starting out in a mutually upset state, they "cool down" over time and slowly come back together until some semblace of an apology occurs. While this is usually implicit, that is to say, the apology is made without ever actually saying the words, Fear will sometimes find something to explicitly apologize for, mostly for his own reassurance as arguments/fights with Anger tend to take a toll on his self-image and perception of his role in their relationship.

Now, I know all that sounds rough, but something I'd like to make sure is said is that while Anger almost always means the hurtful things he says during moments of high stress (even if the wording is a little skewed from the actual opinion), he is equally honest with his reassurances and praise (even if he sometimes has a difficult time expressing them), which is a fact Fear is aware of and trusts.

Ultimately the relationship between Fear and Anger stands on the pillars of mutual respect and trust. They are aware of one another's weakness and where their own strengths compliment the other's, which helps them understand one another and strengthen their bond.

And although they have moments where their big personalities clash in less-than-pretty explosions of nasty emotions, they always manage to get through it. :) 💜❤

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I liked Kieran, maybe only because he reminded me of myself as a kid. Constantly feeling left out and being both harassed for everything you do do and never being trusted with anything to even proof yourself capable, like the knowledge about the truth about ogerpon. I still am, working on that, but was way more jealous of other people hanging out with my friends simply because I had so precious few. Idk how much it would have fucked with me if my verbally abusive older sister (I do also have one of those) simply decided that one of my friends was now one of hers instead and kicking me out while my friend isn't saying or doing anything to be like "no, actually I want to spend time with [anon] too".

Obviously his obsession with ogerpon and the following Drive to get stronger is pretty hyperbolic but I did also have a bit of that. Just rejecting everything, throwing everything back at everyone since it was, or at least felt, like its always my family and the people around me just throwing shit at me too. Did I overreact a bunch of times? Oh yeah for sure. Teenage tantrums will get ya, but I really did need that. Without it I don't think I would have ever learned to call out my family's abuse and other people treating me poorly. Since as a kid that just radiates low self esteem you seem to get treated like shit from just about everyone.

Anyway all that is to say, throwing around things like "I think this kid would shoot up a school if only he had access to guns" isn't, imho, great. And I don't even really particularly care about your instance rn, like it's a fictional character in a Pokémon game who cares. So sorry for being the one who got my rant lol. It's just something I've been seeing more of lately, people throwing "they'd shoot up a school" not only at fictional characters but actual human beings. Which I think is fucked. Thankfully no one ever said that to me, but I cannot imagine how hurtful that must be, like if we ignore all the other negative effects it has for a second, when your actual school life was hell enough to make you consider ending your own life, like it was for me, to just get thrown another brick at your head that people think you would be monster enough to murder people.

...well there's a lot to unpack here.

So first up, you have my genuine condolences for your extraordinarily shitty school life. You clearly had the very rough end of the stick, and it's clearly still hurting, and that sucks.

However. I am not thrilled that you just trauma dumped in my inbox because you over-projected onto a fictional character, and I'll ask you not to do that again. Particularly when your "rant" is explicitly aimed at trying to make me feel bad for criticising a fictional character that you, once again, have over-projected onto.

Like listen, I too had an extraordinarily shitty school life, and I also had very few friends (and at three separate extended points, a combination of Literally No Friends At All, AND Being Actively Targeted For Bullying; the first time around, the bullying was led by the class teacher, even.) I have very much been there, done that and got an entire t-shirt shop. But I still didn't come away from that feeling that I was entitled to other people liking me or wanting to be friends with me, because no one is obliged to like or be friends with anyone else. I may have occasionally felt jealous, but I didn't throw tantrums and demand perfect loyalty from the few friends I did make, because that would have been abusive as all hell and would have justly made them want nothing to do with me. And, crucially and relevantly to the fictional character in the fictional world that we are discussing, I did not fixate on someone I wanted to be my friend, see that they were afraid of me and wanted to be friends with someone else, and then throw such a tantrum about it that I physically fought that someone else for the 'rights' to that friend regardless of their consent in that matter, apparently with the intention of abducting them if I won. And on losing that fight, I did not storm off and start amassing a collection of stronger and stronger weapons so I could take over my school and prove my dominance over them, emotionally abusing anyone who couldn't keep up with me because of family problems along the way. I presume you did not either!

And if I had, then the trauma and loneliness I received would be irrelevant - actions borne of trauma are still actions, with real world consequences, and you are still responsible for them regardless of how bad you felt.

(I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, but school shooters are people who are also lonely and often bullied. It's very interesting therefore that you dismiss them as "monsters" while demanding that all behaviour from such people up to the shooting be excused. But the issue with such people is the entitlement they feel and the abuse they therefore dish out. Shootings are just the most extreme symptom of that - they're far from the only symptom.)

I cannot stress this enough - you are not the fictional character of Kieran in the game Pokémon Scarlet and Violet. You did not make his choices, or perform his actions (I assume). Criticism of him is not criticism of you. No one is accusing you of being about to shoot up a school. You state that you don't care that he's a fictional character, but I'm afraid you very much should, because that is the crucial difference. I am sorry that you're seeing a lot of people accusing real life people of being school shooters, but that is not what has happened here, is it?

You're welcome to write back. But I'll warn you very clearly - I am absolutely not at home to you trauma dumping further, or trying to make me feel guilty for talking about a fictional character because you have over-projected and therefore are taking it personally. That is a You Problem, and I will block you without reading if you do.

However, I am going to finish by reiterating my very genuine sympathies for your school experience. It truly was an appalling time for me, and it seems like it was for you, too. I hope you can process that trauma now, and find peace.