#me: I have to study you
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i couldn't rest until i made something this is driving me insane. so what if i dismissed your success as because of your hardships instead of in spite of them
#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#riz gukgak#fantasy high spoilers#my art#riz is a better man than me bc if i read all that i'd have straight up started killing people#where's your fucking rage where;s your anger RISE RISE RISE#kipperlily i am studying you like a bug
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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#dnd#dungeons and dragons#artists on tumblr#art#ocs#marsilio#pettirossi#if you need me i'll be over there projecting#studies of things that will happen in game in about 15000 light years#or in two weeks#doesn't matter since i have a final next one so two weeks are kinda like 150000 light years for me#blorbos save me save me blorbos
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Photo study :] 🐱🐟
#hoof draws#me w/ my little dinner !!!#edit-- in light of this getting attention. make sure you don't do photo studies of ai generated images#kinda defeats the point of doing photo studies and i wouldn't have done this one if i realized the og photo was fake
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They're judging their sibling's life decisions, and they are not impressed.
(And to think Jason and Dami have pit-madness in their system)
#color study#My fanarts levels depends on my adhd serotonin#Procastination it is#But they are so prettyyy so i am happy#dc comics#damian wayne#fanart#dc#robin#jason todd#red hood#If i dont doodle my artstyle revert to anime and i need to restudy human face anatomy and sometimes i love it sometimes i dont#Right now i love it#apparently if i want to put two days worth of work on a fanart it doesnt look bad huh#Also been using orange and red again on my skintones...i have been warching this youtube shorts guy that gives advice for art corrections#And its great#Had mild colorblindness so dont know how it looked on you guys but for me it looked good enough#if i make it orange again then just blame it tk artistic freedom lol
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remus is very unimpressed, sirius is very happy :)
based on this post
#i spent like 1.5 hours on this that i definitely should have spent studying instead considering i have an exam tomorrow :')))))#anyway enjoy it extra hard to wish me luck please#remus lupin#remus lupin fanart#harry potter#harry potter fanart#marauders#marauders fanart#Hp#My art#marauders era#Mine#he was supposed to look like a malnourished noodle but i failed at that#and didnt have the time to actually put effort into it#Ive not gone through the process of letting it lie around for a couple days tp find all thr mistakes#So noe im already spotting them but its too late to fix#(Or rather. You guessed ir. I domt have thr timr)#Like the first one is fime but i have several issues with thr second one#But oh welllllllll who cares yolo and all tht jazz
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Finished :D
#Let me know if you want to learn about the process for this one#full disclosure: I roughly traced my reference image#because I didn't want to hold myself back with anatomy and proportions when all I wanted to do for this was studying colour#and trying to find the right colour balance#studying texture and how to render things...#I really like how this turned out!#I have a few more leyendecker studies planned but this is finished for now#malevolent podcast#digital art#artists on tumblr#malevolent#arthur lester#arthur lester malevolent
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#christian#christian blog#christian faith#christian living#christianity#god is love#jesus christ#christian encouragement#christian memes#christian quotes#christian meme#christian vibes#christian bible#chritianity#biblical scripture#i hope that this blog encourages everyone as much as you have encouraged me#he loves everyone so much fyi so it’s not just my flex it’s our flex bb#belief in jesus#bible scripture#bible quote#bible verse#bible#bible study#jesusisgod#jesusislord#faith in jesus#jesussaves#jesus#word of the lord#god is my refuge
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 1: Dread on Arrival
(Part 2)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jiang fengmian#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Yungmeng Jiang Training Arc AU#MDZS AU#The AU name for this idea is something I am 100% willing to change if someone has a better one.#There will be at least 2-3 more comics so *please*. Ideas and feedback welcome.#The core idea behind this AU is that LWJ goes to study with the Yunmeng Jiang sect instead of JC and WWX going to Cloud Recess#But why? Well I imagine Lan Xichen set it up to give LWJ a challenge (more social than skill based) and LWJ rose to it (begrudgingly)#Sort of a 'You've mastered so many Lan techniques but Other Sects have styles that are worth learning.' set up.#Lan Qiren agrees mostly on the basis that...well it's LWJ. Yunmeng Jiang is unruly but LWJ is beyond that riff-raff. He'll rise above it.#This is the story of a boy who thrives on routine and rules spending time in a place that is his apparent antithesis.#Also it is so warm there. He is used to it being cold and what do you MEAN just take off some of my layers?#I just want to see him struggle and flail in many situations. And get him in Jiang Purple. Is that so wrong of me?#(Soaking wet JC is part of my 'JC was born to swim; forced to hold a sword' agenda. Do not remove him from the water)#((Politeness notes: JFM would *not* call LWJ 'lan wangji' nor would LWJ be vocally impolite to a sect leader.))
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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i'd love to celebrate my birthday with y'all! no pressure to say or do anything, just wanted to share and "invite" you all 🥰
#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf dca#fnaf eclipse#dca fandom#crab art#digital art#bright colours#animated gif#im shy and i don't want to come off as presumptuous or pushy#but i'm also learning to be honest with what i want and speaking up about it#and i want to celebrate my birthday month with the fandom that's been such a blessing to me#i'm so used to celebrating my birthday without friends because i never bring it up because i don't want to be a bother#it's also summer break so people are often on vacation or busy with work#but like#i cannot emphasize more what a blessing the dca fandom has been to my life the past couple of months#it was a welcome break from my studies and during my career change#and it refueled my creativity as an artist and a writer#and it's just so so nice to have friends that i could be honest and weird and silly with#that's why i want to share my day with you all
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I'm not explaining why re-imagining characters as POC is not the same as white-washing, here of all places should fucking understand.
#personal#delete later#no patrick. “black washing” is not as harmful as white washing.#come on guys get it together#seeing people in my reblogs talk about “reverse racism” and double standards is genuinely hypocrisy#say it with me: white washing is intrinsically tied to a historical and systematic erasure of poc figures literature and history.#it is an inherently destructive act that deplatforms underrepresented faces and voices#in favor of a light-skinned aesthetic hegemony#redesigning characters as poc is an act of dismantling symbols of whiteness in fiction in favor of diversification and reclamation#(note that i am talking about individual acts by individual artists as was the topic of this discourse. not on an industry-scale)#redesigning characters as poc is not tied to hundreds of years of systemic racism and abuse and power dynamics. that is a fact.#you are not replacing an underrepresented person with an oft-represented person. it is the opposite#if you feel threatened or upset or uncomfortable about this then sorry but you are not aware of how much more worse it is for poc#if representation is unequal then these acts cannot be equivalent. you can't point to an imbalanced scale and say they weigh the same#if you recognize that bipoc people are minorities then you should recognize that these two things are not the same#while i agree that “black washing” can lead to color-blind casting and writing the behavior here is on an individual level#a black artist drawing their favorite anime character as black because they feel a shared solidarity is not a threat to you#i mean. most anime characters are east asian and i as an east asian person certainly don't feel threatened or erased. neither should you.#there's much to be said about the politics of blackwashing (i don't even know if that's the right word for it)#but point standing. whitewashing is an inherently more destructive act. both through its history of maintaining power dynamics#and the simple fact that it's taking away from groups of people who have less to begin with#if you feel upset or uncomfortable about a fictional white character being redesigned as poc by an artist on twitter#i sincerely hope you're able to explore these feelings and find avenues to empathizing with poc who have had their figures#(both real and fictional) erased; buried; and replaced by white figures for hundreds of years#i sincerely hope you can understand the difference in motivations and connotations behind whitewashing and blackwashing#classic bixels “i'm not talking about this chat. i'm not” (puts my media studies major to use in the tags and talks the fuck outta it)
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Studies
#fight club#soapshipping#tho these are just studies that first one oddly resonates with my identity crisis#and muscles are among the gayest. things out there so i had to study them#i have a feeling that at some point someone named their kid after one of these parts#(its me im the kid. hi im Rectus Abdominis nice to meet you)
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sanji's weird
#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#usopp#nami#chopper#one piece fanart#OKAY so i only drew this to be funny but also i think this man is one step away from being a marine biologist??#like maybe im biased cos sanjis my fave but listen!! hear me out!!!#he studies fish and ocean ecosystems and fish migration and he appreciates all the different kinds of fish and variety in ocean life#he can tell the difference between a million different fish species and he documents all of them#and can even tell where a fish is from by looking at its characteristics. he knows ocean currents and reefs and coral and like everything#and like yeah its just so he knows how to cook every damn thing in the sea but also its just a genuine passion and love for the ocean#you CANNOT CONVINCE ME that he is not borderline a marine biologist i am very passionate about this#pls tell me other sanji fans have considered/noticed this. pls tell me im not just delusional lol
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Style swap- Invader Zim and Psychonauts
Cause I thought it would be fun and practice
.
(Please do not use or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me first thank you <3)
#deersart#my art#this was just for fun#you probably won’t see much else of invader zim art from me#maybe#maybe gaz one day. depends on if I feel like it#definitely Psychonauts though#i spent several hours rambling about it to a friend the other day#that was a good day#psychonauts#psychonauts razputin#razputin aquato#invader zim dib#dib membrane#invader zim#I’ve never posted art for either of these fandoms before but these should be the right tags#let me know if I missed something though#i don’t know as much about IZ I’m new to it but if you have any questions for me about Psychonauts oh my god please ask me#or even just questions about this art I guess#did a lot of studies on the concept art and memory vault art so I’m satisfied with it#if I knew it wouldn’t drive me mad I would’ve loved to make a like- 3D model for dib#but I have restraint and nor do I have the time#was tempted though
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LMFAO HE'S SO FUCKING PISSED
#THEY'RE JUST LIL GUYS LAOIS THEY DON'T HAVE TO LOOK CRAZY LMFAOOOO#dungeon meshi#dunmesh#laois touden#marcille donato#his face is SENDING ME#he's truly an autistic icon. gets disappointed when a monster doesn't look like a monster. just exquisite#if i was laois and one of my team members knew how to make monsters with magic#and the monster they produce looks nothing like the ones youve studies about for YEARS as your passion#id get ticked off too#its the same energy as witnessing someone given the resources and budget for a project of your dreams#and they just make just ssome half-assed shit and you wanna kys over it
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