#mild discourse

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

it's always a little frustrating to me when aroallo people don't understand or care about asexuality

I know that aroallo-ness has it's own struggles, amatanormativity and heteronormativity hate us all in unique and intersecting ways and it definitely sucks for aroallo folk (especially with how I've seen plenty of people talk about how they get the least explicit canon rep in fiction out of all the aro/ace combos) ...but sometimes it feels like a lot of aroallo people start taking that frustration out on aroace/ace-ness, instead of amatanormativity/heteronormativity and the aphobic/uncaring allo folk who enforce it. Y'know, the people who actually dislike aromanticism and asexuality, and who really don't give a shit about nuanced and varied aro rep.

(presumably there's also alloace people out there who are the same about aromanticism too -- I'm just talking about aroallo people because that's what I have personally been seeing, and I don't want to just make shit up about the alloaces.)

[ecoterrorist-katara]

The tragedy of Katara’s parentification

Sokka and Katara were both parentified, and it’s a profoundly life-changing thing for both of them. One of the saddest things in ATLA, though, is how Sokka sort of got to outgrow parentification, but Katara never did.

Sokka’s told to be the man. The provider, the protector. He’s not so good at the former (his hunting failures are a consistent source of comic relief), and he takes failures of the latter very, very hard. He doesn’t manage to save Yue, and that wrecks him. After Yue, he becomes extremely protective of Suki in a way that’s borderline offensive to her. He’s willing to do anything to protect his friends and his family, including something as irresponsible as breaking into the Boiling Rock. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Sokka is the only one of the Gaang who unambiguously kills. The rest of them may technically have clean hands because of cartoon logic, but Combustion Man is very dead, and Sokka is the one who killed him. We don’t know how he feels about it, because the show never goes there, but I have a pet theory that Sokka is so uncharacteristically (remember he was team “leave Zuko to freeze to death”) against Katara confronting Yon Rha in The Southern Raiders because he’s the only who knows what killing feels like and wants to protect Katara from it.

But by the end of the show, Sokka’s in a place where he can start to let go of his need to protect. Objectively, all his friends are unbelievably powerful and can take care of themselves, including his sister and his girlfriend. Suki is the one who saves him in the final battle, representing not only a reversal of his initial cartoonish misogyny, but also demonstrating that he is worthy of protection. And of course, he and his friends saved the world, so there isn’t really an enemy that he has to protect them from anymore. Sokka’s loved ones create the conditions under which his parentified behaviour is no longer necessary. Sokka would still have to take the first step to stop seeing himself as the one who has to lay his life on the line, but at least it’s possible for him.

But not Katara.

Katara had to take on the mom role after their mother was murdered, which meant she was responsible for domestic labour and emotional support. Sokka says in The Runaway that her role was to keep the family together. Unlike protection, that’s always a full time job regardless of the war. We see Katara spending more screen time than anybody cooking, getting food, mending, and generally doing women’s work. We see Katara giving everyone emotional support, including strangers and her enemy. We see Katara putting aside her own discomfort and her own hurt in The Desert because if she falls apart, they all die. Nobody ever showed her that she doesn’t need to be the only one who cooks, or that somebody else can be responsible for the emotional wellbeing of her friends, or that — god forbid — someone else can actually be responsible for her emotional wellbeing.

That’s why I never cared for the Ka/taang argument of “he teaches her to be a kid again!” Putting aside the fact that Katara ends up taking care of Aang a lot more as the series goes on, the whole tragedy of parentification is that you can never again be a child. That part of your childhood, your god-given right, is robbed from you. It is extremely precious and important to still be able to be a kid, but breaking free of parentification is not about seeing yourself as a kid. It’s about breaking free of being responsible for everyone’s feelings and behaviours.

For Katara, that responsibility is not problem of perception, but of reality. Unlike Sokka, who was told and shown that his loved ones are capable of protecting themselves, Katara has zero reason to believe that her loved ones are able to feed and clothe themselves and not fall apart emotionally. Between Toph and Sokka who emphatically don’t want to do this work, it all falls on Katara. Telling a parentified child that they just need to loosen up is akin to telling an overworked mother that she needs to just relax (“happy Mother’s Day! You get a break from chores, which you will catch up on tomorrow because nobody else is doing them”). It doesn’t accomplish anything if nobody creates the circumstances under which it’s possible to let go of responsibilities. A lot of Zutara fans, spanning all the way back to the early days of the fandom, like the “Momtara and Dadko” trope where Zuko also does chores. Why? Because even without the concept and language of parentification, many fans recognized that Katara’s performance of domestic and emotional labour is inequitable and probably very taxing.

Growing out of parentification is about more than just letting go of old expectations: it’s also about finding a new way to value yourself beyond the role you grew up with. I’ve said this before, but it’s very important to acknowledge that just because a kid is parentified doesn’t mean they’re actually good at being a parent. In fact, it’s probably a given that they’re not, because they’re kids performing roles that are developmentally inappropriate! Sokka remains a shit hunter; he becomes a decent fighter but he’s still miles behind his friends. A big part of healing from his parentification is finding another area — strategy, engineering, project management (what else do you call that schedule) — where he actually excels, to which he can dedicate his time and from which he can derive satisfaction and a sense of identity. For Katara, fighting for the oppressed and combat waterbending give her that. Crucially, however, Katara does not stop being a girl when she becomes a warrior. She’s still responsible for domestic and emotional labour. Unlike Sokka, whose protector duties were more or less relieved as the series went on and he found new ways to contribute to the group, Katara continued to perform her old role in addition to her new one (which is depressingly realistic btw, look up feminist theory around the concept of the second shift). Still, it’s important that she found these new ways to value herself and her contributions…

…which disappear in her adult life. Where’s adult Katara fighting for the oppressed? Where’s adult Katara enjoying her status as a master waterbender? Where’s Mighty Katara? Where’s the Painted Lady? Where’s the person who vanquished a whole Fire Lord?

What do we know about adult Katara? She’s no longer a rabblerouser or an ecoterrorist. She did not translate her desire to help the downtrodden into a political role, like being Chief or on the United Republic Council. She’s not known as the best waterbender in the world, only the best healer, even though her combat abilities are what she took the most pride in. Even as a healer, she established no hospitals, trained no widespread acolytes (except Korra, I guess?), and made no known contributions to the field.

What Katara is known for…is being a wife and a mother. The same role she was forced to take on at age 8. One which she performed for the next 80+ years.

[the-planet-mercury]

hello deltarune tumblr poster. in front of you is a post about romantically shipping ralsusie. if you call them 'gay' or 'lesbian' for this ship, you will get mild tinnitus for a few days. good luck

[bookwyrminspiration]

drives me up the wall when people shit on shannon for having too many plot lines to tie up or having forgotten/abandoned certain threads, or not knowing everything in advance. maybe! but also the series isn't even finished so could you let her fucking TRY first??

[cervinae-canine]

okay im kinda stupid but I don't think selfshipping with Judge Claude fucking Frollo from Hunchback of Notre Dame, is a good idea

[bbbonejamin]

Just read the most infuriating article ever from the Collider about them "shelving Sentry's powers" MCU style and not letting him discover the full extent of his powers at all. Hey man? Did you? Watch the movie at all?

"It’s frustrating enough that the MCU keeps introducing these god-tier characters only to have no clue what to do with them, but the fact that this is becoming a regular pattern? That’s downright exasperating."

I understand, to a CERTAIN extent, that there has been a "character trend" within marvel to introduce incredibly powerful superheros only to later limit their abilities or just ignore them entirely. But at the same time, some of the most beloved characters in the cinematic universe have been these exact prototype characters that have only been delved into further (I'm thinking Wanda, Thor, or Loki as Godly-type examples). What links those characters further than, say Captain Marvel? The fact that we spend more time on a deeper insight to how they feel emotionally, what drives them, what holds them back, and how their trauma has impacted them as people (and how in turn, the audience reads this and reflects on it). For example, Thor's journey wasn't through "training himself to be the best version physically and yippee he gets his hammer back!" He went on a journey of him mentally and spiritually being worthy; of being charismatic but kind, of being selfless and forgiving which they've sorta retroactively shat all over now but whatever.

The main issue with this article is the fact it immediately takes away from the entire narrative around Bob/Sentry/The Void's arc, and what that means to him as an individual. At the end of the film, the Thunderbolts (and Bob post credits) realise that the main thing that he needs to work on and train is his MENTAL FRAGILITY and working on getting him into a STABLE POSITION WITHIN HIMSELF? It's not at all a case of Marvel not knowing what to do with Bob - if anything, they have a much clearer positioning on what to do with him as opposed to other characters being introduced into Phase 5. But no, it's """exasperating""" that the entire hero's journey of the film wasn't "pew pew defeat alien bad guys and save the universe for the 14th time this week", but was the hero's journey that we all have to go through within ourselves to find community, space, comfort and identity.

Bob says numerous times throughout the film "I want to be something, and I'm nothing." And what was the lesson the viewers learnt at the end of the film? That he doesn't need to be Sentry, or The Void, in order to be Somebody. And that the most important aspect is that to be the people who are able to save others, to save citizens lives, you first have to be that somebody to yourself. Bob doesn't need to go Sentry-mode to prove himself as a "worthy" superhero to us; in fact, I'd personally not want that sort of narrative to be pushed at all, especially in the face of the amazing way that mental health struggles was highlighted.

[clfixationstation]

can't believe this is actually what they're so upset about. I thought someone said something mean

obviously a statement like that will ruffle some feathers because it is a slight to EM. But EM has so much other canon content going for it that they really shouldn't be so threatened by some hugs lol

[helvidius]

nocturne s2 sure was something

[vexing-imogen]

As the end of campaign 3 draws near (Marisha confirmed we’re in the endgame, I’d give it five more episodes max), I’m having Thoughts, and I think what this story needed was more time.

It always catches me off guard how little time has passed. Imogen and Laudna have been a couple for just under three weeks, even though their first kiss happened more than 50 episodes ago. Braius has been with the party for like a week? If that.

Vox Machina’s story unfolded over the course of about two years. The Mighty Nein’s was a little over a year. Bells Hells will have covered maybe 5 months?

Because I genuinely don’t think the issue is with the plot itself, but how fast it was thrown at the characters. If the Apogee Solstice had been coming in six months or vaguely “within the next year” instead of the, what, two to three weeks that it was coming when Bells Hells learned about it, just imagine.

That’s more time to research, to investigate, to bond as a group, to explore backstories, to solidify who they are as a team, instead of going into the endgame battles with half the party wanting different outcomes.

And maybe it still would have come to this; a half cocked plan thrown together in the midst of attempting to stop the apocalypse that they’re not even sure is going to work. But maybe it wouldn’t.

I won’t even say that I don’t think BH will stick together or stay in touch after this all ends, however it all ends. I actually do think they’ve trauma bonded too much for them to go their separate ways, Braius perhaps being the one exception. But I think my favorite parts of this campaign will always be their silly low level adventures, and I wish we could have had more of that.

[spookyspeks]

Moral OCD will have you worrying that if you put characters from a horror thing in happier/fluffy situations you'll be shot or something

Tumblr fandom discourse is especially brutal if you have OCD

[70yearoldmanpussy]

The whole "Beast x Ancient ships are problematic" debate in the Cookie Run Kingdom fandom annoys me so much because 60-80% of the people saying it are hypocrites who go "oh but except SM and PV!" When it inevitably comes around to a ship they actually like.

Burning Spice x Golden Cheese is problematic because he tried to murder her and aspired to destroy everything she loves because destruction is the only thing that brings him joy at all. None of this matters but, sure, I get WHY you'd think that. Obviously if they were in a relationship it'd be abusive. Mystic Flour x Dark Cacao is problematic because she essentially murdered his friends/soldiers, leaving him alone so it'd be easier to manipulate him, almost convinced him into believing nothing truly matters so she could steal his Soul Jam and use its powers for her own purposes, showed him a vision of a reality where he died because of her, in which his son took his throne and nobody really missed him all that much to further prove her point. Yeah, that's mighty fucked up!

...but Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla? Oh they're just two goofy goobers who've had a couple bad moments from time to time but it doesn't define them or anything. They still love each other so much! There's nothing abusive here! I once saw someone say (essentially, not word-for-word) "All SM did was turn his friends into cards and fuck with them a bit, that's not abuse!" And... buddy... pal... amigo... Shadow Milk psychologically tortured Pure Vanilla, threatened his friends lives as if they were toys, altered *his own memories* in which he was supposedly watching him throughout his entire life to make him believe everything he knew was lie, that no matter what he did he could never escape his presence, and broke him down so badly all in an attempt to take his Soul Jam. THAT IS ABUSE!!!! Does "abuse" just mean psychical violence to y'all?? Of course it doesn't, because MF also psychologically abused and manipulated DC, and you can recognize that, but when it's a ship you actually like? Oh nothing wrong here! That abuse *totally* didn't happen, and if it did, it's not a big deal anyway because it wasn't even THAT bad! Do you not see how this sounds?

This is what I mean when I say "antis are antis until it's a fucked up ship they like" and that "'problematic ship' really just means rarepair." Ships they don't like are problematic (because they know calling a ship "problematic" is a buzzword that instantly makes them win the argument even if it's untrue), but ships they do like, even if they're also problematic, conveniently have a thousand excuses for why they totally aren't bad but the Other ship is, even if it involves entirely erasing/ignoring integral parts of the story and the characters actions. Rarepairs (BS x GC, MF x DC) are easier to attack because hardly anyone will defend it, but popular ships (SM x PV) never get criticized, because if you try to, you suddenly have a bounty on your head, even if that ship is literally by their own definition problematic (sometimes even more than the looked down upon rarepair!).

Shadow Milk x Pure Vanilla is a "problematic ship". It is abusive, it is abuser x victim, NOT in the "uwu quirky toxic yaoi (they were mean to each other like one time)" way, and no amount of you woobifying Shadow Milk and blatantly lying about what happens to spread your narrative that it isn't will change that. This is not an opinion, or an agree-to-disagree situation, it is an objective fact. This isn't being said to scare or insult you if you're an antishipper that likes Shadownilla, my point isn't that "SHADOWNILLA FANS ARE PROSHITTERS!!" It's that none of this matters at all because it's just ships. You're not supporting *real life* abusive relationships just because you find an unhealthy relationship in fiction hot (which you can't even control). Accept it and move on

[ruderubicante]

T'is I, a bug.

[rescuebabiesau]

For The Record-

I don't normally let discourse within the fandom bother me too much because ultimately does it add to your life? No. But this personal situation I found myself in lately felt like it needed to be acknowledged.

I recently had someone comment several times over several months (I have since blocked them) on one of my fics about how frustrating it was to them that so many other people were "Shipping Wrong."

The fic in question was One Scary Night Alone, and it has some very, very light Whirl/Hoist in it, if you can even call it that. Like, the two just have a brief moment of being alone and checking on each other after what happened, not considered romantic and more just close friends... and this person decided that this was cause to complain because it wasn't Hotshot comforting Whirl.

According to them, because Hotshot is obviously the protagonist, that means that Whirl's destined to be with him and not anyone else.

I tried to be courteous and explain that everyone is free to their own opinions, but they were insistent that everyone else was wrong for having differing opinions. That having Whirl and Hoist be close was against canon (hello, they canonically work together making an "Earth Stuff Collection") and so to have them interact like that was wrong.

First of all, protagonists don't always get the girl. Read more books if you think that's true. Secondly, these recruits are not adults, they are children and thus aren't necessarily going to be looking at each other as potential romantic partners, even if sometimes the earliest signs of crushes are there.

To put the topping on the cake, after months of this, they then said "I wrote this story, but you shouldn't read it since you're obviously pro-Whirl/Hoist, but I would ask that you spread the word about it to the rest of your followers."

...Excuse???? After scolding me for months about how I was wrong and needed to accept your way of belief, you ask me to promote your story without even reading it myself???

Like Dude, get a better hobby than harassing artists and then expecting favors from them.

All I'm saying is that if you like two characters together and someone else likes a different pairing, that's okay. You can still enjoy the media and your own perceptions of things, even if that perception isn't perfect to the canon.

[cattenburg]

tiktok is odd bc I posted my redesign of G3 Catty and someone asked "why is Catty fat" I don't know man she's a cartoon. why are you asking me. I do not know Catty Noir. she is not a real person. maybe she just is fat idk

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

really weird thing ive noticed lately re: hermits getting critiqued for stuff theyve said or done is that as soon as someone holds a shit opinion (even if it's just them being stupid, or a centrist, or saying a bad word without knowing what it means, or whatever) people immediately seem to flock to the 'this guy should die' 'kys' 'why are we giving this person a platform' rhetoric and like. that's not how meaningful change is made?

like, yeah, if one of my beloved CCs posted a tweet or video tomorrow about how much they hate gay people, or believe in conservative ideals, or they just said a bunch of slurs or whatever (these are hyperbolic examples obviously) then yeah, fuck them, they should go rot. but like, having some dumb takes, or saying bad things in the past, doesn't = evil terrible person...

idk, i feel like we can critique content creators without getting so insane about it. like, shit, there are things some of my favourites do that i don't like, but theyre not even really worth bringing up tbh. unless its something actually important, i feel like it just creates more drama out of nothing and all these assholes come crawling out of the woodwork to tell everyone how much they hate that creator. or find their content boring anyway so clearly they have no real merit to anyone.

more of an explanation of what i mean in the tags but yeah.

[phatcatphergus]

Why are you so up in arms about some people not being comfortable with a (rather edgy and potentially offensive) joke? The posts I've seen are just talking about how the casual homophobia whenever Tubbo is around makes them not want to watch any streams that Tubbo is showing up on.

I understand that you don't find these jokes offensive or harmful, at least in comparison to some of the other rp that has been done on the server (and I am genuinely very glad for it!! I hope they never become so), but different people have had different experiences, and to some people homophobia will be genuinely more upsetting than themes of self harm, to name an example you used.

It feels very shitty to see you and some other tubblings vehemently defend these jokes, as it can be extremely jarring to go from enjoying happy gay roleplay to homophobic jokes (yes, even from an openly gay man, the mouthpiece doesn't make the content less jarring).

So I guess I'm still wondering, why? I get being defensive of your streamer, but I guess I'm struggling to reconcile the "queer-smp" with people invalidating others' experiences with, and reactions to, homophobia

Okay well the main thing is that it’s really not that deep. Don’t like the jokes don’t watch, log off, touch grass ect.

People can be upset about whatever they want, but to say that the admin team, his fellow streamers and his community need to “talk to him” about it is insanity. The jokes themselves aren’t even something that isn’t already said in queer spaces irl (again go outside) and the fact that people are so up in arms about their picture perfect straight men playing make believe they’re in a gay relationship and having one actually gay man say “I hate happy couples” is insane.

Really, it’s shows how little the space cares for real queer people and relationships that don’t adhere to their internet filled fantasies of gay people.

At the end of the day, it’s a gay man joking about his own experiences and to get upset about it is fine. But don’t write emails telling him he’s inciting hate crimes, don’t tell the admin team to “talk to him” (ableism and infantilism much), and don’t try to get him cancelled for making jokes that YOU yourself don’t like.

If you don’t like a gay man making mildly homophobic jokes (something he has experienced!!!) but are okay with two straight men playing a gay couple and getting paid for it only to log off and not deal with any irl consequences then you’ve lost the plot I’m sorry.