#most characters hit double digits…

[lesbiangiratina]

Justice image hehe yay.

Miserable but i will edit cards. Save me pngs

[iamespecter]

Hi. I have new stuff to show. There are more coming as well, I just had to stop with three for now because it's so hot rn.

(tw for body horror)! | Digital Nightmares post

Now, when tackling the monster designs for this little crossover, I had to keep in mind what made the LN monsters so unique and uncanny in the first place. Which meant simple, but exaggerated, contorting body horror features. I had to not stray from original TADC concepts and try to embody them in these designs as best as possible, and made them extra grotesque. For Jax's case, he's become a farmer that also doubles as a scarecrow, something he asked the Doll (Ragatha) to do to him. His purple complexion is the result of this decision.

There's also the factor of making them have more muted colors as opposed to bright and saturated ones, to really make it hit home and the cast would fit in the universe of Little Nightmares (even though the environments are most definitely not gonna be the same as the games, since the monsters' environments reflect their occupation/role) Ragatha in this one is a Dollmaker whom had an unfortunate run in with the Entomologist (Kinger), resulting in stitches.

The designs may look simple enough, but make no mistake; I had a TON of trouble figuring out how to incorporate the TADC cast into a more monstrous versions of themselves because of just how vastly different the vibes between the two medias are. These designs underwent at least 2-3 tries before being finalized, because goddamn character design is my passion but does it kick ass sometimes Good ol' Kinger here is an Entomologist (Insect collector), who doesn't like his "focus" on his work and belongings being disturbed. He has two detached hands that roam around.

Obviously this isn't where it ends because I still have to do Gangle, Zooble, Gummigoo, Gloink Queen and Loolilalu (Maybe even Martha Mildenhall) so this may be a multiple part series.

Not to mention, Pomni and Caine's monster selves too because I'm not gonna ignore that, everyone becomes a monster in this and no one can stop meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[hanjisungslag]

attack on titan headcanons #10

synopsis: how the characters react when you, their s/o, gets hurt. 🩹

characters involved: eren, mikasa, armin, jean, connie, sasha, reiner, bertolt, annie, levi, erwin and hange

notes: i am cooking up a storm, so watch out for that & also hit double digits!!

☆ eren jaeger

bro is INFURIATED

“WHO DID IT HUH?! ILL KILL THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS-”

oh.. you got injured in training? poor babyyy☹️

he’s super sweet and gentle with you.

if anyone tries to go near you though.. he’s super scared they’re gonna accidentally hurt you😭.

so he’s always at the edge of his seat ready to rescue you if needs be.

he gets all of your food, water, clothes, bandages etc.

then the nurses catch him doing it and have to YANK him off of you, once again.

☆ mikasa ackerman

so incredibly caring and concerned 🤍

she was the one who found you on the expedition with a broken leg

she refuses you to the hospital

lets the nurses do their jobs (thank god)

she really wants to be able to help nurse you back to health as well though..

she gives you the next best thing aka massages.

she literally comes in everyday and gives you 3 massages minimum a day

she’ll also sleep in the hospital with you most days.

☆ armin arlert

nothing less than an angel.

for however long you’re in the hospital, he’ll bring you flowers

in there for 3 weeks? new flowers every week.

in there for a week? new flowers every other day.

reads you books every night to help you sleep

sleeps there EVERY single night

always gives good morning and good night kisses

keeps you updated with what’s going on with everyone and training to make sure you don’t miss out.

makes sure to surprise you by bringing your friends there too!! it was a super sweet surprise.

when you’re sleeping, he goes around asking nurses if they need help😖.

☆ jean kirstein

UGH TERRIFIED FOR YOUUU

he has to hype himself up before going to see you in hospital because it just breaks his heart.

but being able to see you, hug you, know that you’re being taken care of makes him feel wayy better.

he’s just happy to see that you’re not too badly injured.

just a sprain from training!

he likes to draw things for you from the outside

or you guys draw together.

yk that cute game where one person draws a squiggle and the other person has to make into a drawing?

yeah, you guys do that. and it’s frickin adorbs😡

☆ connie springer

you went to do some late night training by yourself

and cornelius found you on the ground. in a lot of pain.

he rushed you to the first aid

fastest anyone has EVER seen that man run

you got cleaned up but had to take a break from training until you were better.

definitely tries to make you laugh all the time

even with your injury, he still wants to see you happy and smiling 🤍

☆ sasha braus

aw bless her cotton socks.

your injury wasn’t fatal enough to warrant a hospital stay

but the nurses said to stay home and rest up!

you had to take care of your scar

in her own time, sasha headed over to first aid to ask the nurses how to help you properly☹️.

you literally do not lift a finger!!

she does everything for you, like cleaning it up, wrapping it up etc.

and she’s really good at it and all…

☆ reiner braun

he’s like a scared little boy.

he’ll sit by your side and tell you it’s all okay

but when he’s alone.. HE GETS SO UPSET

sometimes he’ll take ‘bathroom breaks’ just to pull himself together because he hates seeing you in this state :(.

really affects his everyday life

but he hides it well.

BIGG celebrations as soon as you’re out of hospital

is literally like a servant, will get you everything and anything you want.

☆ bertolt hoover

GAH SO ANXIOUS!!

he bakes you cookies for being so brave☹️.

he stays with you all day long until the nurse finally tells him he has to go.

it breaks his heart leaving you but he gets up bright and bloody early to see you in the morning

like i’m talking the second the hospital opens up.

☆ annie leonhart

she’s not nervous,

your injury wasn’t fatal or anything.

she’ll still visit you, of course ;)

she also makes sure to tell you how brave you are

since you are scared of hospitals.

she’ll giggle at your wimpy-ness though.

like you were getting patched up and you were just like trying not to scream

and she was just standing there chuckling at you.

☆ levi ackerman

so so so scared, secretly.

he has lost one too many people

but to lose you? that would completely and utterly BREAK him.

it was a pretty gnarly injury as well…

which was rather terrifying for both you and him

but he’ll keep a cool persona around you.

if he’s unable to visit due to work, he’ll ring the hospital and asks how you are.

he’ll always make time to come see you though, no matter what!!

☆ erwin smith

he hears from his assistant that you’ve been put into hospital

he runs STRAIGHT over and makes sure to comfort you.

he’ll stay till dark when you’re asleep and pay the nurses a visit too

he asks them to take extra good care of you.

if he’s unable to see you, he makes sure to call you up every single day

or at least have SOMEONE come check on you.

☆ hange zoë

GAH!! FREAKS OUT!

hange has seen it all at this rate

but doesn’t seem to heavily affected.

they’ve never really had anyone close to them be extremely injured

they were sooo scared though :(.

it was really sad for everyone to see hange’s energy so low but

they couldn’t help it!!

all they could think about was their poor love in hospital :(.

when they’re around you though, they try to stay positive! and tells you all about their work to keep you both distracted.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dark Shelves 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, bullying, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes (archivist AU)

Summary: your new job is much of the same, with a hit of new misery.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You peer up at the romanesque pillars and the curved dome of the elaborate building. It’s a step up, a high one, and you’re proud of yourself for taking. After years in a basement, blowing dust off of rusted spoons that may as well be at the good-will, you’re finally exactly where you want to be.  

Not associate, not assistant, you are an archivist in your own right. You will not be pushed into the corner again. Though you aren’t too presumptive. You could get lost in any stacks. You like how your job affords you pockets of solitary, but you didn’t choose the career on that alone.  

You work to preserve and share the past. It sounds more noble in your head than out loud. It’s a good enough reason for you. 

You climb the stairs and pause before you pass through the double doors. Inside, the lobby is airy and polished to a shine. You try not to marvel too obviously. Too often you’ve been caught and ridiculed for the very act. Most people look at you and assume less than more of you. 

You walk up the front desk, a grand circular structure with shelves behind it. The man behind it has a metal nametag on his brown plaid shirt; Peter. You greet him stoically. You quit smiling to appease strange men a while ago. 

“Hi, I’m here to get my employee ID.” You take out your phone. “Then I’m supposed to meet someone named James.” 

“Right, I have your welcome packet,” he reaches under the desk. “It’s here.” 

“Great,” you accept the folder as he beams back at you. He’s young and fresh-faced. He must still be a student. “Thank you.” 

“Have you been her before?” He asks. 

“A couple times,” you answer. 

“Cool, cool,” he accepts, “there’s a map in there in case.” He points to the folder. “You’re going to second floor. East wing. The office number is in the email.” 

“Yes, I saw that. Thanks so much,” you nod. 

“Oh, your card’s activated. So any access thingies, just swipe,” he says. 

“Got it,” you cross your arm over the folder and continue around the desk to the double set of staircases that open behind it. 

You climb patiently. You’re early. You always are. A long academic career has drilled the habit into your very being. 

You check the email one last time and put your phone away. You’re not one for stereotypes but in your experience, the senior archivists tend to hate screens. You always resented their stubbornness. Digital backups are essential to the future of your profession. It could also just make their lives easier in general. 

As you count down the office numbers, you slow down. The short heels of your lace-up boots clack softly on the oaken floor tiles. The door you need is already open and there’s a man standing in it. He leans slightly on the frame as he faces inward. His deep voice carries behind him. 

You push your shoulders back as you approach. You don’t want to interrupt. You stop about a foot back, unsure how to go forward. You check your watch with a subtle tilt of your head. 

The man in the door is tall. He has one foot pointed to the floor, and arm bent back as he pushes back his brown corduroy jacket and grips his hip. He wears a dark blue turtleneck that meets the long tails of his outgrown hair. There’s never an in-between with archivists. They are either immaculately preened are shaggy and stuffy. 

“Right,” the man glances over his shoulder at you and his eyes squint, crinkly his nose, “I think I’m holding someone up.” He turns to face you, “hello, miss, do you need some help? Looking for the newspaper lab?” 

You’re not surprised that he assumes you to be a student. It’s a common presumption among his demographic. They are always the authority and everyone they don’t know must be ignorant. 

“No. Hello, I’m an archivist. Newly-hired. You wouldn’t happen to be James Barnes?” 

“James?” His mouth slants. “Only his mother calls him that. Bit of advice, it’s Bucky.” 

“Steve,” a voice drawls from within the open office. 

“Alright, alright,” the man shows his hands then extends one to you. “Steve Rogers. I’m the next door down. Fellow senior archivist, with James.” 

“Steve,” another snarl. 

You shake the man’s hand, “nice to meet you.” 

His cheek ticks, “you too. I like that vest. Very... quirky.” 

You don’t thank him. You merely retract your hand and adjust the scarf between the open front of your coat. He sidles out of the doorway as he wears a pompous smirk. 

“Come in,” the bodiless voice calls out to you. 

You step into the doorway. The man you’re looking for sits behind his desk. He uses an envelope open to pick at what appears to be a metal shell for a coil of parchment. He delicate traces the lines of the ornate metal cap on the end. 

“I’ll be a moment,” he says. 

“Alright,” you stand in the doorway. He doesn’t welcome you to sit. You introduce yourself in the stagnant lull. 

“I know who you are,” he grumbles as his brow wrinkles at his work. “After all, I sacrificed my day to training you.” 

You don’t appreciate the insinuation. You’re a task he doesn’t want to tend. A burden on what he really wants to do. You can find your way around just fine without him but the email said training was mandatory. You didn’t exactly have any say in who was handed that unlucky chore. 

“I have experience. Three years in the Heron’s Corner archives. And I’ve also done some volunteer work for museums. If you’d rather, I learn just as well from paper or email.” You suggest. 

He huffs, “typical.” 

You don’t reply. Whatever he assumes about you isn’t true but you’re not biting the hook. He grows exasperated and sets the container on its stands and stabs the envelope open into his pen cub. He slaps his hands on his desk and stands. 

“You young ones just want to sit at a computer all day,” he comes around and slides his hands into his pockets. “This job isn’t that.” 

“I’m aware of the job description,” you assure him. 

He stops before you and reaches to brush his fingertips along his thick beard. A thicket of hair falls forward he swoops it back just as swiftly. The cleft in his jaw deepens with his distaste. 

“That’s good. Less to explain, doll face,” he pulls his hand away to check his watch. 

“Fine, let’s get started.” He sniffs, “take notes.” 

He steps forward and you barely have a chance to get out of his way. His jacket flaps as he passes you and you stiffen as you grip the folder tightly. You reach to your coat pocket and take out your silver pen. 

It’s only the first day. Soon enough, you’ll be free to focus on your own work, and he his. 

[dickparty666]

i think its also worth mentioning that in game that encourage you to design a character that looks like you, youre implicitly told "well, why would you want a character that looks like the real you, when you can see what you could look like skinny? isnt that every fat persons desire deep down?"

actually now that i'm thinking about it. every single video game that lets you costumize characters but doesn't let you be fat is extremely revealing to the fact that most people can't imagine fat as something a person would want to be. there's other examples but like, fuck, i can't even choose to be fat in imaginary spaces. My size isn't accommodated for because they couldn't imagine a player who wants to be anything other than skinny.

Like, you see it right. How media shapes people's beliefs, and people construct beliefs into the things they create? If all you can ever choose to be in a game is one of two body shapes, and you have to physically alter the game to be anything bigger, like. "why would i imagine a world with you in it."

[soullessjack]

i love the discourse about whether or not dean and sam are antiheroes. babygirl two of their close friends and surrogate family members are the Demon King of Hell who canonically alluded to murdering infants once, and his abusive witch mother who still violently murders her own enemies after several mini-redemption arcs. half of the series’ conflicts are their fault because they were either too stupid to realize what they were doing, too selfish to stop doing it because it had some personal benefit that outweighed the damage it would cause, or they just didn’t think another option was out there.

and yea, even though most of their Big Bad arcs were a product of the… [title card]…supernatural; possession, curses, soullessness, eldritch influences, whatever else…it’s not like they were completely good people without those factors. dean was a deeply sadistic torturer in hell for no other reason than being in pain and wanting to inflict that pain onto others. Cas created first-generational trauma with the family of his vessel, was briefly both a cannibal and a megalomaniacal zealot who tried to take over heaven and earth. sam believes all incarcerated people are evil and deserve to be in the system (lol) murdered his grandfather and allowed a child to be tortured (by Cas).

not even going into the numerous apocalypses they were all responsible in, or the amount of innocent people they all collectively murdered in cold blood because they stopped giving a shit about saving vessels after like season 2. if even that. even jack has a fair amount of murder and torture and wrongfully harming innocents under his belt and he hasn’t hit chronological double digits yet. bonus mention for the fact that across multiple perspectives, these guys are either regarded as psychopathic serial killers, psychopathic hunters, or Those Guys Who Constantly Fuck Up Peoples Lives And Endanger Everyone Around Them.

like, an antihero by the dictionary definition is “a main character in a narrative (in literature, film, TV, etc.) who may lack some conventional heroic qualities and attributes, such as idealism, and morality,” — and, (cont’d) — “Although antiheroes may sometimes perform actions that most of the audience considers morally correct, their reasons for doing so may not align with the audience's morality.”

that’s literally a grocery list for them to scratch off girl. come on now.

[maximumkillshot]

I Can't Lose You-Part 10

Warnings: Bin losing it (yes this is a warning), A person is grabbed, cursing, boundaries, Anger in Bin's mind (You will see why this is a warning), Mentions of miscarriage, Things come to light, health scares, yeah this one is rough, anxiety, regression

Pairing: BangChan X Reader

Characters: everyone except Bangchan is in this, Soo, Reader,

A/N: PART 10?!!! Double Digits already!! Well people here we are at part 10. We are going to

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Previously:

There was comfortable silence in the car, most silence with Minnie was always comfortable. Then Changbin’s phone rang, Seungmin said “It’s Felix.”

Pick it up.” Changbin said Seungmin hit the green phone icon on his phone and put it on speaker, "Hey Lix we o-"

Felix sounded out of breath, “It’s Soo… she’s here.”

Bin’s POV:

My blood ran cold. We are still so far out. '`Where's Y/N?” was all I could get out. This is why I didn’t want to leave in the first place. This is torture. I know Minho is going to do his best to keep her out, if Soo is anything like Chris, it won’t be easy. I heard, “Where’s Binnie?” at almost the exact same time I asked for her. My foot pressed down on the accelerator as I waited for Felix to answer. I heard bickering in the back, one voice very condescending, “I am just trying to--” 

Then I heard Hyunjin snap, “What? What could you possibly want here? To apologize? To see if she’s okay? Well she isn’t thanks to you. Get out of the room now before I have to put my hands on you and drag you out.” That made me feel slightly better. Knowing that the boys are willing to do anything to ensure her safety. 

Felix responded, “She’s in bed with Hannie but she’s slipping, she’s already stopped answering everyone except for Hannie. She keeps on asking for you and I don’t know what to do.” The worry in Felix’s voice seemed more out of anxiety than danger.

“What about Soo, where is she?” I asked. 

“She keeps trying to get into the room, she walks in and tries to say things to Y/N but we form a wall, her voice is still triggering her. Hannie is trying to calm her but it isn’t working.” I heard more shuffling and more of that woman’s voice, “Y/N just let me talk.” I looked at Seungmin quickly and his face was completely different. He looked like he was going into war, just like mine, I’m sure. More than anything… I’m scared. She needs rest. The doctors said so after the last attack, only Hannie and I know. 

The doctors specifically took a read of her heart during the attack, they’re finding that there may be some changes in it. Something that right now may be harmless, or not, it all depends on how her heart responds to stress. Some people die from stress alone. 

They took Hannie out to explain the last bit and he messaged me later. Y/N is looking like the latter situation, the stress so high that the heart pumps too fast for too long and it just… I can’t finish that sentence. Judging by how Felix is reacting, he just seems normally worried. Fuck, I want her in my hands right now. I need her right now. That’s the only way I can make sure she’s okay. Without that I just feel like I’m living on borrowed time. 

I had to make my voice as even as possible as I made the call, to let the boys know, “Hand the phone to Hannie. After that, tell Hyunjinnah if he has to put hands on her, do it. Y/N is still unstable, the stress will make her heart stop, we don’t have a choice Lixie, she could die. I’ve seen it almost happen. I'll be damned if either of them take her from us. They already took her child, they aren’t getting her. Go and do that now, do it quietly, Lix.”

Felix said, “What?” I can tell he is worried. His face always shows any emotion he has, as well as his voice.

He can’t show worry in front of her, “Felix listen to me, if she can see your face look away from her. You cannot show how serious this is in front of her… Do you hear me?” I have never heard my voice come out this stern, I know he’s scared, I can hear it. I’m so scared if I wasn’t driving I’d be crying right now. 

“Yeah I hear you. It’s okay.” I could hear the uncertainty. Like he is asking for reassurance. I don’t blame him. When I read that text, it felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. She is so important in all of our lives. She may not believe it, but us being where we are now, with her; That is proof in and of itself how loved she is and the lengths that we’ll go through to make sure our family is protected.

“I promise you, if you do as I say it will be okay. I’m not letting her go, none of us are, she needs us to protect her right now. I know you can do that for me. You’re so strong Lix, repeat it to me, what do I need you to do?” I tried to make it as honest as possible. A lot of people see Felix as emotional. He is, but he is the strongest out of all of us, it’s his empathy that makes him so strong in situations like this. After all, I was a crying mess a few hours ago and no one tried to console me except for Lix. It’s because, just from looking at the situation, he can feel what you do. Your pain is his pain. That in and of itself proves invaluable for someone like me, who has problems explaining feelings.

“Hand the phone to Hannie, let Hyunjin know that if we need to use force we will.” Felix repeated it back to me calmly. 

“Good job Lix, hand the phone over.” I was trying to sound as strong as I possibly could. In reality, I feel like I am going into this blind. I know that I’ve seen it before. That doesn’t change the fear that is plaguing me right now. “Hannie, can you hear me?”

“Yeah Hyung.” I heard Han on the other end. He didn’t sound scared, just calm. Someone on the outside would think that’s great news. In reality, it’s terrifying, Han is only calm when he has to be. So to hear him nearly void of any and all inflection tells me that things are serious. “Talk to me, how is she looking?” I want a full picture of how she is doing> Without that I know I will go into a full panic.

“Heart rate’s 110, slowly climbing. Her skin’s clammy, can’t keep her eyes still, she’d starting to slip, Bin. She won’t stop asking for you. She keeps on looking for you. " He then addressed Y/N, “Anya, look at me please, can you do that for me?” Shit… It has to be bad. Hannie almost never uses that nickname. 

He calls her Anya because it’s his favorite character in an anime that both of them love, they rewatch it together all the time. The minute he met her he couldn’t stop calling her Anya. She loved it, of course, since that's her favorite character too. Her hair had pink highlights in it only to add to the nickname. She’s so strong and independent. It fit her perfectly, in Han’s eyes. 

He’s using that to try to get her to go back to a happy time, not the last time she saw Soo, “Remember that day, Anya? The day I gave you that nickname? In New York?” 

I just heard the smallest, most broken voice, “Binnie, I want Binnie to make her go away. Hannie, can you help me find my Binnie please?” I could hear the thickness of unshed tears trying to fight their way out. Hearing her made my eyes wince reflexively. She’s regressing, sounding more like a child by the minute. The pain is literally shocking her back to a time where she had no idea how to handle the pain, but people could help, when she was a child. It was the same thing that happened in the last attack. It’s her brain trying to protect her. 

“Put me on speaker, Hannie.” After I heard some shuffling and what sounded like someone tapping on the phone I said, “Angel?”

“Binnie, where are you?” Just hearing her say that name with that tone, it ripped my heart out. She sounded like she was shrinking, I could sense it in her tone, the way she was holding on to the present.

“I was getting your brownies for you.” I used a lighter tone. I always did with her, I couldn’t help it. The fondness I hold for her constricts my vocal cords, sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe around her, not from being suffocated but from being struck by how gorgeous she is. No matter what, even after Chris married her, she always came to me for comfort. Even when we're watching horror movies, she would hold on to me and hide behind my upper arm, gripping my biceps like they had the antidote, the solution. She would hold me like I was going to chase away the monsters on the screen. That reminded me that this time I wasn’t there to chase away the monster, and I felt rage at that, rage and fear.

“Oh yeah… you’re coming back? M’scared.” That tone. She was slipping again, just my luck that right when she said that is when we hit a red light. I looked at Seungmin and he nodded, I blew right through the light. “Make her go away, Binnie, she’s saying mean things,” I started to hear her voice crack, I could see her shrinking in my mind. Trying to make herself as small as possible, trying not to get hurt. Tears started forming in my eyes as I heard her.

“I am almost there, okay Angel? I’m going to make sure she doesn’t come near you ... Can you tell me where MinMin is, Angel?” This question served two purposes. It both keeps her grounded and it gives me a gauge of where I am needed more. Right now I need to know if I need to blow by Soo to protect Y/N, talk her out of a flashback, or if I can deal with Soo personally. All of it hinges on Minho.

“He… He… MinMin?” I heard her ask. I could hear the fear laced in her tone. That tone makes me want to hide her from everyone and everything. 

 Then I heard a soothing tone of voice, “I’m here Beautiful, don’t worry.” It was Minho. That allowed me to breathe for a second. I know Soo won’t touch her.

She answered me,“He’s at the door… Keeping…” I could hear more of a little scuffle, shifting around, sneakers on a concrete floor, talking… But nothing from her.  The closer I listened the more I heard.

“I just want to make sure she’s okay, I’m still her best friend.” I heard Soo say.

Hyunjin fired back with, “No you’re not her best friend. We are her best friends and unlike you, we won’t stab her in the back. Funny how best friends aren’t supposed to do that.”

“Hannie what’s happening?” I couldn’t help the uptick in my anxiety. If I could just look at her, if she could see me and I could see her maybe it’d give me more time. But I can’t, it’s too dark. No matter what I did, whatever solutions I was coming up with it all came down to time I didn’t have to get to her. The threat is there now. Here I am so far away. 

“She’s staring off.” I heard Han and my stomach dropped. 

“Angel? Are you there? Keep talking to me…” I am trying so hard not to add to the chaos. I am doing everything to breathe normally, stay calm. I am struggling, I want her to be safe, that's all I ever wanted, I just wanted her happy and safe. 

“Binnie… why did this happen?” She said, in a very calm tone. That scared me as I am sure Han is watching the heart monitor. I had to snap her out of it. I’m 10 minutes away. I’ll make it in 5. “Hey Angel, let me ask you a question.” I said as I cut through a deserted parking lot, avoiding another light. 

“Yes?” She was close to the phone but so far away in her mind. I was semi- ecstatic that she answered me, usually that isn’t the case. I could hear the disorientation. I had to get her back to the here and now.

“You always wanted to go to Nami Island to take pictures, right?” I asked.

“Yeah! The trees are amazing in spring! And they have snowmen cakes around this time! Every season is so gorgeous.” I could hear some excitement, but overall monotone. It was similar to the voice she’d use when Chris made a promise that she knew he wouldn’t keep. Like she’s already over the thought of what was said was actually going to happen. 

I giggled, “Ok how about when things calm down we go to Nami Island, then? And as soon as the seasons change and Nami Island is at its peak I’ll take you again.” 

“Really?! You’d take me?” It was almost like her mind had to take the time out to realize that I am not Chris and that when I tell her something, that I will do it. That made me feel so sad for her. No one should go through what she went through. 

“Sweetheart, I will take you anywhere all you have to do is say the word.” I said honestly. That’s how it’s always been. Whenever she wanted to go out she wouldn’t go to Chris, he’d get mad for being disturbed, she told me. She hated going out alone though. One day I walked by their room to hear her ask meekly and he told her that his answer won’t change, he had no time for her. I continued to the kitchen and instead of reaching for the preworkout, I looked for any reason to call her over. When I did, I called her over. I could tell she was crying so I just opened my arms, asking what’s wrong. 

“You have been through so much, I just want to see you do what you love, without worry. We can be there as long as you want, okay?” I told her. I already know that I am not going anywhere without her for a long time. Fuck going to the studio. Fuck the 3 hour long dance practices, that is not a things at this point. I know that Chris is going to do anything he can to get to her alone. He is smart, that much is apparent. He’s definitely not going to let her go easily. I can feel my hands subconsciously tightening on the wheel. Just by what I heard from the kitchen minutes ago, he thinks that she belongs to him, that is some fucked up archaic shit. She is her own person. Her own beautiful, loving, caring person. She deserves to be treated as such.

“Thank you, Binnie,” I could hear her tone still small, but excited slightly. 

“Anything for you, Angel.” I don’t think she realizes that I will literally do anything for her. I’d give all of this up. Hell I am still trying to convince myself to stay on this team, I can’t see myself being in a room with Chris again, yet I am expected to somehow cohabitate with him. I can feel the saliva build in my mouth as my intestines twist. I’d do anything to keep her safe, happy. To let her know that she’s loved. 

“She wasn’t taking care of him…. Not the way I could, look at her! She can’t even handle her best friend talking to her!” I heard the sarcasm spew from Soo’s mouth. It made rage build in my stomach. Then I heard Hyunjin again, “You are fucking delusional to think that you are in any league near Y/N. You are a spineless cretin, she’s a caring person. A person who loved you like a sister. The only person who could look at a piece of shit like you and find something good in them.” I couldn’t help the smirk on my face from hearing Hyunjin reading her for filth. “The only reason why she can’t ‘handle’ a waste of space like you is because you did this to her. You broke her along with Chris!”

“Are you coming here soon?” I heard her whimpering as I continued to break every speed limit known to man, “she won’t leave me alone. Make her go away. She’s saying things,” I could hear the shake in her voice. She is trying so hard to stay here in the present.

“Angel, I am one minute away as soon as I get there, I’m going to make her go away. Minnie’s going to come in and take care of you while I make sure she’s gone, okay?” I tried to fight the shaking in my voice, but I can't help it. 

“You’re coming back to me after?” She asked.

“Absolutely, I will be right next to you, sounds good, Angel?” I asked. Being next to her always made me feel like I was home. It was the weirdest sensation whenever we were on tour or anything like that. I never got to see here daily, which was also torturous. I hated it. It wasn’t like I could call her daily either, it was more of a reminder than anything that I am just a friend, not her husband. Being next to her is where I belong. I feel it in my bones. Just thinking about being next to her is soothing to me. 

“Yeah…”

The next minute we were in front of the hospital I looked to Seungmin and he said, “Go, I’ll park the car. I’ll stay on with Birdie in the meantime.” Thank God for Kim Seungmin. I don’t know how he knows what I need to do. Especially when I can’t even keep my head on straight right now. My guess is that he could see the distress in my face. I immediately got out of the car and bolted into the hospital. I was trying to find the quickest way to her, and to get Soo away. I decided on the stairs since she was only on the third floor. I was taking two or three steps at a time. 

The utter desperation I am feeling is something that I have never felt before. I’ve never cared about or for anyone like this before. It’s like the fear and the desperation come with a feeling like my very being is being threatened. I can’t do any of it without her. I’m not just talking about performing and singing, no, I can’t breathe without her. I don’t want to eat, workout, I can’t function, period. That’s why I have to keep her safe. I’m not just protecting her because she is loving and kind, I am protecting her because I love her. She has my heart and she always did, from the second I looked at her she had it. The minute she laughed she had my soul, she may not know it or care in the same way but I don’t care. I love her. 

By the time I made it to the third floor, my lungs were burning, only adding to the rage that I was feeling. I heard Hyunjin speaking slightly louder than anyone should in a hospital hallway as I speed walked down the hallway. I ran into one of the nurses and told them to call security that the other person that caused it is here. I told them I’m taking her to the waiting room to separate her from Y/N. They nodded. The closer I got the more my veins popped. 

One second she was arguing with Hyunjin just inside the doorway and the next I wrapped my arm around her midsection and picked her up, dragging her out of the room as I said, “Hannie, Minho with me. Lix, check on Angel make sure she’s okay, Seungmin-ah is coming up soon.” Then I directed my voice to Y/N, “I’m here Angel I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

Soo was struggling in my grasp but I didn’t care. I lift almost 300 pounds for fun, and she thinks that she can get out of my grasp? “Get off of me!” She squawked. All I did was glare at her and say, “You and I are going to have a little conversation about boundaries.” 

The nurses that knew who I was at this point, since I had been there the whole time. They also knew that I’m a sweetheart, but they also knew that I love Y/N so their faces also turned with smiles as they saw me dragging Soo. They probably knew from my face alone that I’m currently holding the last of the trash to be thrown out of Y/N’s life. 

I heard Han and Minho’s footsteps behind me as I walked into the waiting room. As soon as the door was closed and locked I grabbed one of the chairs and plopped her in it. “If you move from there. I will pick you back up and put you back. You understand?” I caged her into the chair. She nodded her head, not good enough. “Oh you had no problem talking shit when I wasn’t here, now you’re all of a sudden unable to speak?” She shook her head, “Then fucking use your voice. You’re so brave saying that she can’t handle talking to you yet you forget that you literally KILLED her CHILD.” I screamed in her face, and she shrunk away. 

I felt Han’s hand on my shoulder, silently begging me to back off I’m sure. I have never been this bad  as I backed off and dragged a chair and sat right in front of her, “You are such a piece of garbage. What were you trying to do by coming here?” I leaned back in the chair, not letting my eyes leave hers. Just trying to remind her that right now, if I let myself, I’d crush her in a heartbeat. 

I heard two more chairs dragged next to me. 

She looked at all three of us as she said, “I wanted to see if it’s true, if she really is as broken as I was told.” I could see the corners of her lips fighting a smile. 

“If you don’t wipe that smile off your face, I’ll wipe it off for you.”  Minho glared at her as I stared at her. I knew that Minho is very attached to Y/N. The fact that he is reacting like this, is a little new. He has always had respect for everyone, I can also understand where he’s coming from. She means so much to us. We wouldn’t hesitate. “You wouldn’t dare, Minho,” She laughed.

“He won’t… too much respect… I however,” I stated very matter-of-factly, “Have a very hard line, Soo. I don’t touch women in any violent way ever… But if anyone messes with my family and with whe people I love? All of a sudden gender is irrelevant… So the next time you speak, I recommend you speak with that in mind.” I saw the blood drain from her face, I felt a new level of base in my voice. The anger is starting to reach a level I can’t control.  

Minho added on with “Usually I’d have too much respect. That was before what you said about Y/N.  About her losing the baby being a good thing. That it’d make the divorce less messy…”

My eyes went wide as my heart dropped on the floor, shattered. When did this happen? How did this happen? I looked away from Soo for the first time, “I don’t think I heard you correctly… She said WHAT?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[lucerocosplay]

Shohki Mask Cover

construction notes & photos under the cut

This has been a long time coming! I'm glad she's a costume I can work a mask into without it breaking the design of the character. I feel like people would be less inclined to ask that you remove it for photos this way ^^;

I went with a very thin cotton gauze fabric (#9 "coffee" if you're wondering), think a slightly thicker cheese cloth. It's very breathable as a single layer and seemed the best choice for an N95 cover. The shape was really only achievable with this fabric because of the shape of my mask underneath, and some strategically placed 1/2" wide horsehair braid tubing from the dollar tree. I usually stock up around halloween but they stock around christmas too!

Process is very straight forward, just traced my mask on the fold and made some rough adjustments for a card stock mock up. I like 90-110 lbs for this sort of thing but construction paper can work in a pinch too. Cut that out and fit to my face, tweaked the placement on the nose bridge and added a 1/4" allowance for bias tape/facing, and appropriate allowance for flat felled seams.

The ear tab was extended to cover the mask underneath, and included allowance for support fabric (denim scrap in my case) to support two eyelets intended to thread the elastic of my mask through. Then it was just patterning out the rest of the mask elements and making note of seam allowance and how to cut each piece. I trimmed the tape holding together the card stock mask apart and finally got to cutting out the fabric once that was done.

There isn't anything fancy going on, the hardest part was just the inset mesh panel over the weirdly shaped keyhole cut outs on the mouth piece. It's just black nylon mesh typically used for interfacing bras sewn on after making the keyholes.

This fabric is like if toilet paper were a textile, which is great for breatheability and weight but absolutely hell for machine work like this. It's not for a competition so for me, hiding messy stitching with weathering later was ok.

The portion of the mask running from the underside of each ear tab was finished with homemade bias tape. The same method was used for finishing the top portion that runs over the bridge of my nose. The ends were simply folded and sewn down at the ear tabs for a clean finish.

The side "filters" have an extra 1/2" long extension so I can tack in the ends of some horse hair tubing, then double fold the fabric back into itself before hand tacking with tiny stitches from the outside. That helps the light fabric balloon out into that shape, along with another layer of that same mesh interfacing.

They are really fun actually, very floppy with great movement. Though they stick out a tad too much so I did add one small french tack to the center of each to help them point downwards but retain that movement. The "filter" took the most hand finishing out of the whole thing, but that was to be expected.

Once the little side "filters" were sewn in, there was just light weathering to do. I wanted to add some shadows and potential "mold spores" to certain areas to really make the texture pop and hide some messy stitching. Light passes with a dry brush and some acrylic helped a lot, so did referencing photos of mold growth on clothes.

It was a pass of burnt sienna along all seams and large patches where high humidity would accumulate. Then another lighter pass of burnt umber to deepen up areas, and some very sparse areas of white. Finally I wanted to give it the "blue cheese special" and mixed a little viridian green and that same white and hit the white areas first then dry brushed the spaces between mold patches. I'm trying to replicate active mold colonies so reference photos came in handy here. I also used some nail polish to match the grommets to fabric.

Maybe when I am not crunched for time I will get around to digitizing the pattern, but for now I hope the photos help anyone else trying to plan out a mask. Obviously the shape will change a lot depending on the sort of fabric and mask you have on under it, not to mention face shape. I would imagine bifolds would give you more her classic feed bag profile than an origami style mask, however.

[emmie-writes-stuff]

So the new chapter is out and GOOD GOD do I have some thoughts and a lot of them don’t make a whole lot of sense but I can’t not talk about this chapter

Firstly, Kaiser looks adorable (never thought I’d say that about him outside of my head but here I am)

Secondly, holy hell my heart hurts

He didn’t deserve this, no child deserves this

The fact that he had to “go to work” and just steal

HE HAS NO SHOES his little feet have got to hurt, or they’ve completely calloused up from not wearing shoes, but even then (speaking from experience) it still hurts to walk on hot ground and rocks and other stuff on the street

Yknow, I understood him hating milk before (because milk is disgusting) but now I get it even more

What a stupid reason to get upset, imma kick this waste of space excuse for a father in the fucking face AND balls because ITS FUCKING MILK

Eat some damn fiber or somethin if you got constipation issues

Who let this absolute scum of the earth reproduce???

HES LITERALTL TWELVE YEARS OLD

All the other shit went down before he was even double digits

But dangerous situations create smart kids, and Kaiser was very smart to start saving his own money

I used to have my own stash in case I ever had to run away (long story, we’re not getting into my family issues in this post, but yeah)

At least he has shoes now, protect those feet plz, they’re what keep you upright and moving

Soooooooo are we gonna acknowledge that he treats the soccer ball the same way he’s currently treating Ness orrrrrrrr

But like, it’s nice that he has an outlet to channel his anger into that isn’t a person (at least for now smh)

It’s really interesting seeing how each of the characters came to play soccer

(Side note: but he throws the ball at a picture of a woman, could he maybe be imagining this woman as his mother?)

His mother also deserves a kick to the face if I have anything to say bout it

I have no words for this

Just, can I steal him? Please? I’ll give him a good life

Fuck the snitches, how dare they

Also, you can clearly see his ribs defined, and that hurts me

I love that he was willing to let go of everything

He was ready to start fresh with getting money, was cooperating with the police, until the soccer ball was threatened

Because that is his most valuable possession

The money doesn’t matter, but the ball is a symbol to him of something that won’t leave him or hurt him

It’s a very small sense of independence and stability in this very unstable and controlling environment

The ball is heavily implied to be the first thing he ever bought for himself, it’s what defined a key part in his life

Taking that away is like taking away his soul, his outlet, and comfort, and Kaiser just couldn’t stand for it

There’s so many more things I’m thinkin and I have way too many incoherent thoughts for tumblr, but these are the ones I was able to clear up and make sense of

This chapter hit very deep and while my past doesn’t involve much physical abuse and struggles to this level, it was hard not to empathize and relate my own experiences with abuse with the ones in this chapter

I don’t wanna get into shit, it’s not somethin I exactly wanna put out in the public, but there’s so much here that I could understand and relate to and it just made everything so much more difficult to read (in a good way I guess)

Just, GOD, why did I have to become a fan before this chapter came out???

Okay, that’s my ramble for this, bye before I start going on even more tangents

[bright-hope-spot-19]

All right, so I was thinking about the sand sibs, as one does, and one thought crossed my mind. Now, we know that of all the kids from Naruto's generation (so, the Konoha rookies + the sand sibs). Gaara is the one with the highest body count (of people he's killed). This all led me to think about the kids (excluding the adults), which ones I feel like, would have the bigger body counts, and most kills after Gaara. This is pure speculation, but I felt like ranking them, from whom I feel, has the most kills to who has the least.

1- Obviously Gaara. Needs no explanation. We all know how unhinged he was in the chunin exams. His is probably in the quadruple digits, if not more. I even feel like his bc could even match Kakashi's, and Kashi has also been trained to kill since he was like, 5 or 6 years old.

2- Sai. Surprising, I know. Now, I didn't know whether to include him or not, cause he was introduced in Shippuden after all. But I like Sai, so here he is. The reason he takes the 2nd spot right after Gaara is cause he was part of Root Anbu, I belive it was the section that was under Danzo's command, and they did most of the village's dirty work. I imagine Sai would've also been trained to kill from a very young age, where most of the other kids were still at the academy, in what would be the last of their innocent years. That's why he's here. He's been trained to be an obedient killing machine by the state, from a very early age, and does so without flinching or hesitation.

3- Kankuro and Temari. Now, it shouldn't be weird that Gaara's siblings are this high. After all, there is the joke that "Gaara did have the excuse of having a demon whispering bloody murder in his head for years, to justify the way he turned out. Kankuro and Temari are unhinged just because they think it's funny." Now, seriously, it just makes sense that having grown up with Gaara, they'd also be bloodthirsty and unhinged. The scene of Temari happily waving goodbye to Gaara's victims in the forest of death comes to mind. Both of them were also shown to have very low empathy at the beginning, and don't hesitate when it comes to threatening or harming others. They even seem to take joy in it. If I had to declare a tiebreaker, tho, I'd say Kanks is slightly higher, if only cause Temari did end up becoming an ambassador very early on in Shippuden, which would mean she'd be going to less missions, and kill less people as a result. To be the village's liason to the rest of the world, she does need to keep a very 'neat' reputation after all. Other villages aren't going to trust Suna or form alliances with them if their ambassador is a sadistic killer. Kank, on the other hand, has no role that forces him to keep his reputation neat and proper, so he feels free to go feral, killing as many people as he sees fit, for Gaara's and the village's safety. I'd say both of them have a body count in the double digits, at the minimum. Like, Temari's would be 50+ while Kanks would be in the 60s.

4- Tenten. Now, hear me out. Tenten isn't the kind of character you'd imagine would be so high on a list like this. Most people would imagine that, from Team Gai, Neji would be the highest ranked one. I think it makes sense, in retrospect. Neji and Lee do seem like the kind of soldiers who'd have some kind of 'moral code' against killing people on missions. Lee, as we know, would never, even if the bad guys in question deserved it, and Neji would only ever kill in self-defense if there's no other option. Tenten seems like the kind of fighter who wouldn't adhere to these same morals and wouldn't really care if she ended up killing a few people on missions, whether it be by accident or not. She's a weapons mistress, after all. She's trained herself to do as much lethal damage as possible with her weapons. If she hits a guy and he dies, I'd imagine her reaction would be akin to a shrug of the shoulders, followed by a "Well, this is life, we are ninja after all", with Lee and Neji watching surprised in abject horror in the background. Anyways, it'd be funny if she also ended up forming a rivalry with Temari over this, with them being the two girls with most kills. Just two girlies, discussing their most recent kills.

5- Sasuke. I wasn't really sure where exactly to rank him. On the one hand, he was a rogue ninja, painted as a 'bad guy' for most of the series, but on the other; the only people I think he's ever really killed, were: Danzo, Itachi, and Orochimaru. And I think Orochimaru was brought back by Kabuto. I don't remember how, but he did. Ultimately, we all know that deep down, Sasuke isn't a bad person and would never kill without reason, especially innocent people, cause he knows what that feels like. But also, I think that he might've amassed a high enough body count in the time he was under Orochimaru's tutelage, of people who'd either cross him or Orochimaru. I think ultimately, intent and will are what matters, and Sasuke is fully capable of killing in cold blood if someone gets in the way of his goals. That doesn't make him a truly bad person, per say, just shows the effect his childhood trauma had on him.

6- Sakura. This is another one people would expect to be near the bottom of the list. With Sakura, I view her as a very special case. Most of the time, she doesn't kill on purpose or with the intent to kill. She's just so strong and hits so hard that she kills people without meaning to. Also, Sakura can also be unhinged and feral, and if she gets really angry in a battle, I can imagine she'd hit with the intent to kill or break a few bones. I imagine if team 7 are on a mission, and they come across someone who disrespect any of her loved ones: Sasuke, Tsunade, Naruto, Kakashi, etc, she will want to punch that person in the face, not caring if it puts them in the hospital or the grave. Also, she's a doctor. So, she's gotta know like the most creative ways to kill a person without leaving a single trace, which is terrifying to think about.

7- Shino and Kiba. Yeah, another tie. All I gotta say about them is that they do give off those vibes. After all, team 8, I imagine, would be very widely known amongst the other genin teams as the 'the team of freaks' and for very good reason. They are weirdos, and they're proud of it. Part of it is how much they enjoy every time they're given a mission to eliminate or kill someone. As a mostly tracker team, they don't usually get any real 'dangerous' missions where they have to get their hands dirty. Whenever they do, though, I can imagine Kiba would be pumping his fists in the air and hollering, and Shino would just shrug his shoulders in that detached way that is so very characteristic of him. The reason I didn't lump Hinata in with them is cause, sadly, I imagine her being way more gentle and less excited about the prospect of killing. Kiba has that animal instinct deep in him that gets him excited at the mere thought of tasting blood, and Shino simply doesn't care. He does what he has to in order to accomplish the mission. That's why they're in here.

8- Neji. Here's our resident Hyuga prince. Relatively low on the list, I'm aware of that. I think that the fact he tried to kill Hinata in the chunin exams has twisted people's perception of him. The way I see him, he's not one who enjoys killing or resorting to it. His circumstances in the chunin exams were different; he had his own unresolved trauma then, to deal with, which is what pushed him to get his anger out on her: the main representative of the Hyuga clan's highest branch. He was angry and confused then. Under normal circumstances, Neji is actually pretty nice to be around, I imagine. He can be a little cold and callous but never does it with malice. He just says what he's thinking. As I've said in the Tenten section, he'd only ever kill as a last resort to defend himself and his loved ones. Even then, he'd still treat his victims with respect, especially if they were strong opponents, and had good enough reasons to do what they did. I imagine he'd have a very philosophical view on life and death that'd make him view death as a 'natural part of life, something inevitable'. And that 'no matter how high and mighty one is in life, in death, the grim reaper sees no difference between the mighty and the weak." You know the kind of things he'd say.

9- Naruto. It's very funny for the titular character to be this low, I know. By all means and purposes, Naruto should be near the top, maybe even in 2nd place, right after Gaara, because of all the deaths Kurama has actually caused. Now, I don't think that's fair. Gaara is at number 1 because the circumstances he lived in, with no one to offer love or safety, giving himself up to the influence of his tailed beast, was the only option, if he wanted to stay alive. Naruto, on the other hand, is shown to be a lot better at controlling his tailed beast and not falling under its influence. Also, the fact he had Iruka in his life, who's pretty much the reason he didn't turn out like Gaara. Naruto would only ever kill, in the very rare circumstances, he's so, so angry he literally unleashes Kurama's power willingly. Which I imagine would only be if Sasuke's life is at stake. Now, he cares bout the rest of team 7 too, but I can only imagine him unleashing Kurama with killing intent if it's to defend Sasuke or his honor. Other than that, he's pretty much the kind of sunshine who feels terrible every time he hurts someone. He's not one to resort to violence. When he does, though, he can be terrifying.

10- Ino-Shika-Cho. Yeah, all three of them are here, lumped together. They're a team who work together, after all. If one of them has killed someone, then it's because the other two helped as well. As all things go, if I had to say who'd have the highest bc, it would be Shikamaru. I mean, the scene of him killing Hidan in such a rad and emotionless way paints a very different picture of him. Also, spending time with Temari and her brothers might've also played a role in 'toughening him up' and just made him more willing and accepting of the idea of killing his opponents without much complaining, if need be. Ino, in general, doesn't like getting dirty, but she also won't complain if they're on a mission, Shikamaru comes up with a plan, and for the plan to work, they need to get rid of someone. She'd be like, "aight. Tell me what to do, let's get rid of them fuckers real quick." Chouji tho, would be the one to feel the most remorse, and need the most convincing if they need to kill someone. He'd still feel terrible right after and insist that "guys, we've actually killed that person." I also imagine killing someone on a mission might be the only thing strong enough to make him lose his appetite. Shikamaru and Ino would be surprised the first time it happened, when they had to kill someone together as a team, and they go for BBQ and they're eating normally, while Chouji isn't even touching his food, still thinking about their actions. We still love him anyway.

11- Hinata. Near the bottom, as expected. Now, I know there's people who enjoy the characterization of her as a feral, unhinged, little freak, just like her teammates, but I don't think it really fits her. She never even really wanted to become a ninja, the killing life ain't for her. Whenever they have to kill someone on a mission, Kiba would be vibrating from excitement, Shino would accept it as a normal part of his job, while Hinata would be even more silent and nervous than normal. I think having grown in the Hyuga clan, where it's the norm for the main branch to torture and even sacrifice the members of the secondary branch, she'd develop an aversion to all forms of harming people. She's seen enough of it already. She doesn't want to go through it and be the one doing it, too. She normally asks Kiba and Shino to do the actual killing part of the mission while she just stands as guard for them, scouting the area with her Byakugan, so they won't be caught in the act. Shino and Kiba are okay with it. They understand her feelings and always try to keep her as far as possible from anything, even remotely involving killing, usually giving her other roles where she'd feel safer. Needless to say, she's happy to have left the shinobi life behind after becoming a mom. I'm not shaming her for it. Good for her that she found what makes her happy.

12- Rock-Lee. Of course, he's dead last. Now, people might argue that he should've been higher because in his epic chunin exam fight against Gaara, after he opened the gates, and started absolutely kicking Gaara's ass, it really did seem like he was hitting to kill. I don't think that's the case. Lee is as averse to killing as a ninja can get and cries every time they have to do it. He's always begging Neji, and especially Tenten, to control themselves in battle cause "it's not necessary to kill." To the point Gai had to take him once in private, and give him a talk, that no, actually, as a ninja sometimes it's okay to kill for your safety and that of your comrades. Lee would be horrified once Gai sensei tells him that he has, in fact, also had to kill people in the past. It takes him a long time to accept that fact and still tries to avoid that outcome as much as possible. Literally, it takes his entire team begging him, cause "if you don't kill the enemy, they'll kill you!" For him to go along with it. That's how I imagine him anyways.

Pheww, and that would be all. A very long list, but I hope my opinion doesn't offend anyone if you think any of the characters should've been lower or higher.

[fisheito]

FISHIE'S NUCA RECS (ongoing!)

⚠ many are locked, so it's best to view while logged into your ao3! ⚠ ❗ yeah, this list is yakumo-centric. there are some exceptions, but... generally, beware of snakes. https://archiveofourown.org/users/fisheito/collections Fics divided into subcollections under that big collection ⬆ :

Polyclan Plot (porn optional) here's the plot-heavier stuff often involving more than 2 clan members. sometimes porn. sometimes crying. sometimes both?

pwp or p with a bit of p pornzone. anything from [quick n dirty] to [Grand Character Explorations Resulting in Boinkery]. i kept most yakuei porn out of this collection because otherwise, it would overwhelm it 🤣

*peers inside the box* no boinking?!? mishmash of fic that doesn't necesssarrrrillly have explicit sex "on-screen". range of moods included from fluff to hurt/comfort. Doesn't include yakuei-centric fic for the same reason as above. 😅

big ol sloshing bucket of yakuei it's yakuei. it's got the porn AND the Not. it must be contained within this bucket so as not to overpopulate the other collections.

bottom yakumo reading list pretty much the same as the list i have on tumblr. it's bottom OR not-explicitly-top subby yakumo. love to see that the number of fic in here has hit double digits. we're doing great out here

feesh purgatory fic i haven't finished reading, and fic that i found interesting, but not sure i would re-read as much as the others. that's purgatory, baybeee!!

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 58 Welp Posting

Hello kind void. Short (for me) yap this time... it's mostly just pain this chapter, after all. So much pain.

Very rough TL of the editor's notes:

First page: 漆羽の命滅契約は一体…? [Uruha no meimetsu keiyaku ha ittai...?!, What in the world happened to Uruha's lifelong contract...!?] Last page: 信念のもと漆羽を殺めた座村を前に… [Shinen no moto Uruha wo ayameta Samura wo maeni..., Standing in front of Samura, who killed Uruha due to his conviction...] Google Translate or DeepL can probably do better than me on this one, so go ahead and copy/paste that text into one of those instead for a better idea. Just note that 漆羽 (Uruha) usually gets auto-translated to "Urushiba" and 座村 (Samura) to "Zamura".

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Pregame Mini Meta Rant: If I hear a SINGLE complaint about how many panels were reused this chapter Imma get heated. Yeah, there's been a lot of copy-crop-paste stuff going on in the past two weeks. This chapter alone re-used Hakuri's exhausted seal pose four times. But the major scenes still hit hard as fuck and the new art is holding up. Let the author do what it takes to avoid burnout and health issues just as his series is getting the major promotion treatment, okay? Dude's had to do a lot of extra work recently with the cover and colour pages in addition to the usual volume redraws and accompanying filler sketches/doodles.

These chapters were probably being written and drawn about the same time as the extra materials. It's not like the author starts drawing on Monday and sends the chapter out by Friday so it can be published Sunday- they're finished weeks in advance before they're released. I recommend checking out a short manga called The Right Way to Make JUMP! by Takeshi Sakurai if the practical details of getting manga out to thousands of readers in both print & digital simultaneously every week seem interesting!

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Uruha vs. Samura

I interrupt this ramble before it even begins to do a little celebratory dance. I got most of what I yapped about last chapter right for once! Yay! ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪ I won't have to recap the Samura motivation/mindset yap with the new information! (This will probably never happen again.)

Anyway...

Let's start with this because fuck it was so cool and sad.

I love how every character in this manga holds fast to their convictions, man. But I didn't expect Samura to be so cold about killing his former apprentice y'know?! Not even a hint of remorse from this guy. Between this and the subdued greeting Uruha gave him, the lack of warmth in their dialogue together... I wonder if they had a positive relationship. Uruha certainly respected Samura's skills but the contrast between how he thinks about Kunishige and the man who presumably taught him everything he knows about fighting is striking, isn't it? He was pretty unemotional about having to duel his master to the death despite being such an emotive guy. Yet now we'll probably never know... (sigh).

Here's something I missed on my first read: Samura didn't use Tobimune to face Uruha; he was just the quicker draw with a regular katana.

His sword is closer to being sheathed, while Uruha's sword is still farther out.

In case anyone still wants to believe that Uruha is alive or can come back somehow after this... more power to you. The Sojo copers can probably give you some tips if you need them. But there is one small smidgen of comfort to be had, if one wants to interpret it as such.

Not using Tobimune can be read as respecting Uruha's determination and facing him on equal footing. I know he unnecessarily double-tapped Uruha when he was laying on the ground- he didn't need to slash the guy again with Tobimune to make the kill. I get it, the Enchanted Blades are tools of death. Just let me have this. I need it.

Uruha deserved better. He deserve to live, dammit. I didn't get nearly enough of him. But what a way to go. Standing up for what you believe, your dead (boy)friend's last words telling you to live no matter what running through your head. Fighting for your life to honor his wish even though it's a completely lost cause... fuck what a tragic character. He was such a passionate guy despite the losses he suffered. Uruha, man... I really wanted to spend more time with him, but I guess all we'll get of him are flashbacks about him from other people or during scenes recounting what happened in the war.

The worst part of saying goodbye is that it felt like we had so much more to see and learn about him. His story's incomplete but it's over all the same. That's what hurts most when authors kill these characters- the sense of real loss because of all the loose ends. Anything we learn about him will be retroactive for context. No more growth, no more silly faces... damn you Samura...! Fuck this author makes good villains in a short span of time.

Whatever incident was covered up 18 years ago has to be incredibly awful to drive Samura to become an avenger for the truth. I'm talking "establishing a whole fucking international court system to process it for over a decade" levels of bad. Which it may well be, if this flashback from Sojo's PoV in chapter 8 remains unchanged when we revisit it for context:

Hello, probable war crimes.

Yeah I'm banking on that mystery kid being Magatsumi's current wielder. Whether he was a child soldier or picked up the sword by accident somehow, this might be the clue to The Incident that turned Samura against his allies. The point about how anyone can use the Enchanted Blades is made repeatedly during and after the Sojo arc- why not a child? Covering up a massacre like that would be in a lot of people's interests.

Unfounded spitball theories aside, now that Hakuri and Chihiro are both clued in that some real bad shit went down, we can expect to learn more about it. Hopefully sooner rather than later because I'll definitely be judging the shit outta Samura based on how awful it is. I'm very interested in his moral dilemma but I've got unreasonably high standards as to what kind of event could drive someone to do something so awful (in fiction, at least). IRL people are messy, but fiction demands justification. And the way this incident is being hyped up makes me believe it's different from the other horrors of war sinking in and slowly driving someone to resent everything they did for the cause. Whatever the Bearers and the Kamunabi covered up is going to cast them all -Kunishige included- in an extremely unflattering light.

Burnout

He just looks so cute being carried like that even though he's so exhausted and roughed up…

... Yeah. Poor Hakuri.

I won't take up as much space here as I want to yapping about him because most of it's just retreads of things I've been saying for weeks already. But man. Man.

This guy awoke to his powers, killed his dad and brothers, put an end to his family's cruelty, saved a bunch of lives at great risk to himself, passed out, and woke up to try and do this crazy mission with Chihiro all in just over 24 hours. He's so fried he fell asleep while being carried piggy-back and can't even move any more! But he's still kicking himself for not summoning Kumeyuri for Uruha when he had enough adrenaline to sort of stand up on his own. Never mind the brain haemorrhage- he's got lives to save. Ms. Makizumi's words about pushing himself too hard being dangerous just go in one ear and out the other. These people want him to care about himself for the mission and because he deserves it but he just refuses to take it to heart...

Then the person he promised to protect is killed in front of him right after he made it his life's mission to prevent exactly this sort of scenario.

Fuck.

Can't even turn this into a ship moment I'm so bent out of shape. Someone strip me of my fudanshi creds.

It looks like Hakuri did summon Chihiro in a panic after all- he couldn't even call out to Uruha so reaching for Chihiro instead was his first instinct. He just wasn't fast enough because his body and mind are on the brink of totally shutting down. If he's truly unable to use sorcery again after finally gaining his own strength at long last... oh, that will hurt so bad. I'm not ready for how hard Hakuri's going to be on himself when he eventually wakes up despite doing his very best.

Hakuri's gonna be out of commission for sure after this event.

I'm close to 100% positive he'll temporarily lose his powers now. If it comes to be, then Kagurabachi will have passed my bullshit "don't say they'll die if the consequences don't match up to the risk" test. Being paralyzed and powerless for a while is good enough to convince me that death really was a possible outcome. See, it's really that easy. Totally not unfair and arbitrary.

Regardless, there's a lot of suffering ahead for Chihiro and Hakuri. Not only did all of this shit go down the day right after the Rakuzaichi, but there's still whatever the blood test will reveal hanging out there... the political and practical price of this failure with the Kamunabi... processing the guilt of not being able to save a life... coming to terms with how much they don't know... so much has happened to them in a short 24-ish hours, huh? And neither of them have anything good to look forward to in the short-term.

I gotta wonder what Hakuri will do this arc if he's literally unable to move for a while. His PoV gave us the info that there was a specific incident that was covered up, but that doesn't mean he'll be involved in that plot line. But let's save that stress for another time- gotta see how badly he fucked himself up and how things shake out between Chihiro and Samura first.

Chihiro vs. Samura

(Ch. 50) A long-awaited reunion.

What will go down next week? I'm sure as hell not gonna try to guess. Could be anything from casual conversation to an actual skirmish. At least one thing will definitely not happen though.

Neither Chihiro nor Samura are dying here. Chihiro cannot die until the last fight in the series is finished, so that's out (boo joyless nerd take no fun booooooo). Samura's simply too strong to go down to an exhausted Chihiro and we still have to learn the history behind his motives. So he's gonna stick around for a bit longer to cause trouble. Wouldn't be surprised if he's the arc boss! Hiruhiko's got his own training arc ahead of him and all (and some arms to reattach), so he'll be more of a recurring villain than someone to defeat as a character growth moment for now. It's looking like Samura vs. Chihiro for the foreseeable future IMO.

If I can reveal a selfish hope, I want Samura facepalming Chihiro and feeling the scar to be the means of getting insight on how he feels about Chihiro's situation. Samura's probably the one who tipped off the Hishaku about Kunishige's location thanks to accidentally finding out when Momma Shiba took Chihiro to the local festival. Oh boy, if Chihiro learns that Samura was the one that sold him and his dad out... that would be some incredibly potent angst. His hero, a monster? Say it ain't so. Would have told you sooner if I could, Chihiro.

Hm, Kunishige and the Bearers who were entrusted with his vision...

(Chapter 1)

(Chapter 9)

(Chapter 58)

I feel confident in thinking that Samura is basically Bad End Chihiro now. He's been tormented by guilt for nearly two decades and has decided to do everything himself. He'll kill his former comrades and the Hishaku or go down swinging- and kill himself if he actually succeeds. He's on a doomed mission to scorch the earth and take out as much evil as he can. All scum go to hell! Including the guy who's so mired in grief that he does a lot of murder to cope. Those scars of his don't look like tear tracks in some shots for nothin'. (Wait, wasn't I talking about Chihiro for a bit there?)

Chihiro's well on his way to following Samura's path already... he's not the type to kill his comrades, but he's definitely got the "guilty sinning avenger" thing going on strong. So if Samura is Chihiro's "Bad End", what will he force Chihiro to realize? Every major foe reflects a part of Chihiro back at himself and forces him to answer difficult questions, after all. Sojo- forced him to accept that there are multiple ways to interpret and use his dad's legacy

Kyora- forced him to look at his own devotion to his dad's legacy and admit he doesn't know as much as he needs to

Hiruhiko (round 1)- forced him to admit that he thinks of himself as a monster for the lengths he's willing to go to

As for Samura, I think it'll be along the lines of "is it necessary or justifiable to sin and/or commit oneself hell for the sake of a cause?". Maybe "can I be redeemed at all?" (or if redemption is even necessary in the first place). Legitimately can't wait to see what goes down between them next week to get more clues! God I love this manga so much. I haven't been so consistently engaged week to week like this in ages.

...One last thought. This is probably looking too far ahead as an angst merchant and I was rightly rebuked for mentioning it. I should know better than to share the worthless depressing bullshit that goes on in my head. But these posts are supposed to just be some yaps into an ambivalent abyss so... sorry, kind internet void, but you get some of my depresso espresso.

"The least I can do is refrain from causing harm to others and take you Hishaku bastards to hell with me." - Chihiro (ch. 53)

With all the deliberate parallels drawn between Samura->Chihiro and Uruha->Hakuri, I wouldn't be surprised if our favourite protagonist/deuteragonist pair has the same exchange later down the line. Definitely not under similar circumstances! I can imagine scenarios where Chihiro is trying to kill Hakuri but they're so far removed from canon that they make absolutely zero sense.

But there could well be a time where Chihiro decides to leave because he really does need to bear this burden alone and Hakuri tries to call him out on the ridiculousness of that mindset. I think it would be a happier result for Chihiro and Hakuri compared to Samura and Uruha if only because Chihiro isn't as far gone as the blind traitor rat is. But yeah I'm just sticking that in my back pocket to see if it manifests in the future.

Time to write some hurt/comfort and hope canon eases up on the pain soon. It's either that or setting up a bingo sheet with all the angst scenarios I've got written down in my drafts and notes... I choose the one that I can create my own happy ending for. Until next time, dear void.

[betterthanyalls]

For the Amazing Digital Circus request.

Everyone's reaction to the reader somehow comes back being abstracted or recovering enough to not be considered abstracted.

Don't have to do this if you don't want to!

Ooooo great idea! Sorry this is so late btw!

Words: 529

Published: 10/19/2023

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TADC Characters headcanons if you abstracted

Caine:

He is shocked

You were one of the most, if not the most, mentally stable character

So when you abstracted, he was flabbergasted 

He had also grown quite fond of you

When he dropped you in the abstracted hole (idk what its called), he was extremely disappointed

But since he is an Ai, he didn’t linger on it too much

Oddly enough for an Ai, he never felt complete without you

Bubble:

Unfazed

Maybe misses you ever so slightly

Other than that, bro’s mood is the exact same

Kinger:

To say he is confused and lost is an understatement

Kinger already lost Queener, now losing you too?

He can’t handle it

He gets quieter than before

He will start forgetting daily things around him

He will also stop noticing things even more, to concerning extremes

Might start abstracting

Gangle:

No more comedy mask

She basically gives up once you’re gone

She doesn’t even try to fix her mask

You always helped her with her masks and always protected them when you could

But now, the mask was only a reminder of you. A reminder she didn’t want.

Zooble:

They miss you, a lot.

They toughen up their exterior 

Tries to act unbothered by it, but they miss you

Doesn't want the others to know they miss you

Might isolate themselves for a while

 Ragatha:

She is hit the absolute hardest out of everyone 

You were the most understanding and closest to her

She is desperate to find a way to get you back

Trying absolutely everything to convince Caine to heal you. But he can’t

She isolates herself now

She has no intention of ever being herself again

She knows you’d want her to keep going and be strong, but she can’t 

It’s too difficult to live without you

She begins to go insane herself and abstract

If you can’t be with the sane and her, she will be with the insane and you

Pomni:

Girl just got there and was instantly friends with you

Now you're gone?

She is so confused and lost like Kinger

She never talks now

She always has that 100 yard stare

She will never focus to anyone around her and she doesn’t even try to go back to normal

She usually just sits in her room, curled up into a ball in the corner, not moving other than slight trembles

Jax:

I don’t even know how to describe him

He is like Zooble

He toughens up and stops showing emotions

His meanness either doubles from his grief, or is cut down from his grief. No in between

He is just lost without you

He pretends you never meant anything to him. 

Spoiler, you meant everything to him.

He zones out a lot

As much as he hates to admit it, he felt so much happier with you

You made him feel emotions that he had buried for years.

And now those emotions are buried again.

He would open up to you, now he felt stupid for doing it because whenever he thought of his feelings, he thought of you

He thought of you constantly

He doesn’t know what to do without you

[towers-in-starlight]

I rarely enjoy randomized critical hit systems in games very much.

There are a couple genuinely-useful ways in which they're implemented across a variety of games. They can increase variance, adding the potential for a lucky upset into some encounters which would otherwise insurmountably favor one party over another. Crit-fishing builds can serve as interesting alternatives to more traditional low-variance DPS builds, in games which offer the right sorts of character-building affordances. Perhaps others exist which I have yet to notice. But these implementations, although useful from the game designer's standpoint, are rarely particularly enjoyable for me; when I play most games, I tend to enjoy reproducibility-of-outcomes, minimizing the influence of luck and maximizing the influence of skill on any given encounter.

Recently, however, I encountered a game which, to my surprise, did randomized critical hits in a manner that I found actively fun and one of the core appeals of the gameplay! Namely: Quarta Amethyst, my latest favorite porn game.

Traditional implementations of critical hits have them as a rare thing, perhaps tipping up to low double-digit percent frequencies if one runs a build with an unusually-high crit rate. In Quarta Amethyst, however, the player character Amethyst's baseline stat-line—not dependent on any temporary buffs or suchlike—includes a near-100% crit rate: almost every attack she launches will be a critical hit, and landing a single critical hit is sufficient to defeat most non-boss enemies. Her attacks' non-critical rate, when she's at her baseline capabilities, is about as low as more traditional games' starting player characters' attacks' critical rates.

This sets up a baseline in which Amethyst is extremely overpowered in combat. However, crucially, her maintaining this level of power is dependent on her being fully mentally focused: it doesn't take very much distraction for her to start slipping up. And so, as soon as her enemies manage to wear her down a bit—to land a few lewd attacks increasing her arousal, and perhaps to stack a status effect or two on her for good measure—her critical hit rate starts dropping sharply. Which leaves her harder-pressed to beat her enemies before they can land more attacks on her, which drops her crit rate even further, et cetera; and it doesn't take all that many iterations of this before her crit rate drops to the traditional RPG-protagonist near-0% crit rate.

In Quarta Amethyst, then, instead of being used for their traditional purpose—as a source of variance and/or build-specialization—critical hits function centrally in three roles. First, as a form of characterization and worldbuilding: showing exactly how powerful Amethyst can be when she's in top condition, relative to the enemies she fights, and thus driving home exactly why they lean into the ambush- and debuff-centric tactics they lean into when fighting her. Second, as a way to let unimportant fights pass by quickly: many RPG Maker games have some problems with overly-drawn-out combat, but Quarta Amethyst's crit system ensures that any combat where Amethyst isn't under meaningful threat—where she's at her full strength against ordinary non-notable enemies—will end quickly, thus helping the game's combat's pacing. And, third: as a site for the implementation of a death-spiral mechanic, with reductions in crit rates begetting further reductions in crit rates as one of the first steps in the war of attrition that Amethyst's enemies wage against her.

In short, then, despite its superficial resemblance to traditional execution of randomized critical hits—attacks having some probability of doing substantially more damage than their ordinary baseline—Quarta Amethyst's critical hit system serves entirely different functions in the game's overall design and flow, compared with most games with critical hit systems, and said functions are ones that I find much more interesting and enjoyable.

For the most part, the lessons I learned from playing Quarta Amethyst were writing-centric; it's a good example of a well-written porn game, relative to my kinks. But its critical hit system is a substantial inspiration to me on the game-mechanics-design front as well, which I expected much less when first going into playing it; and I hope to see more games follow in its footsteps, either directly using critical hit systems to similar effect or more abstractly running similar experiments in use of critical hit systems for nonstandard game-design purposes. Because I find its crit system to be a lot more fun to play with, and a lot better-integrated into its broader narrative and thematic purposes, than that of any other game I recall encountering to date! And it would be nice to see that quality spread more broadly, both within and beyond the porn-game sphere.

[thesoulesscollection]

Current Written Blurb

My current writing project I'm working on and I'm so eager to show you when it's done. It's another Choc centered piece though it's more lore centered and in the pov of another character, Luis Fernández, a new oc of mines who plays a big part in Choc's life.

So down below is a little blurb of the project to give you'll a feel of what it's going to be about.

“Luis?” A smooth voice, not deep or high pitched, an even middle, called over the mind fog. Its calm tone draws him to reality.

“O-Oh? Here.Y-Yes, that's me”

In a sudden the pit in his stomach drops when he turns to take a glance and what's expected at first so lowly blows him out the water.

They're taller than him by a couple inches at most. Majorly all leg, long, slender legs in smooth black pants hugging them very well. It reached mid way upwards their waist, held by a thin golden belt with a shiny closed eye medallion. Curiosity did get the better of him, taking immersed glances at the soft designer colored a pale yellow shirt, the metal buttons on top are left open. Purposefully. Bare chest on display, free from any unwanted blemishes and warmly sun-kissed with a light peppering of freckles. They're built lean, more were they an athletic runner rather than some jacked up bodybuilder.

“Hey. I get it. I look amazing. But my eyes are up here”

Heat rises to his face, sweet pooling from his temples, the pit grows double in weight to the point he's almost grown sick.

“I. I'm sorry. Didn't mean t-” He blabbers on, apologetically.

“Joking with you” They snicker, tugging closed the jacket they wore. “I'm shocked you called me”

A shock for them both. Luis tensely swallowed his nerve, spinning the digits clockwise on his phone, hearing the ring three times. His grace period since he half hoped it would leave him on a voicemail.

Anything to call it quits.

No, it rang a fourth then it clicked, someone is on the line.

“Yeah… Me too”

The mild cackling on the phone distracted him enough to reluctantly agree for their upcoming meetup. Again their voice, richly decadent, for unknown reasons soothed the anxious ache in his gut and the heat in his chest.

Whether he would call his an actual date was up in the air, then arranged and so here they are in person.

Finally he focused his attention through clean, focused lenses, not wet with drunken tears. It was what he saw that hit him, doing his best to not gape.

They're really good looking, like a model who should be gracing magazines then spend the day with him. Far too good, definitely way out his league.

A slim face, high cheekbones, a pointed nose that's a smidgen crooked and slightly thin bow shaped lips smirk playfully. Then down turned, hooded eyes reminded him of the blazing sun, stared him down. Fluffy brown hair was tamed and the roots retouched, pulled up in a loose ponytail.

“So. About last time” Luis started, uncertain of the topic he was playing at hand.

“That's what I called you about” Nervous Luis nods along. “I had fun, lots and I want to see if you would be interested if we kept in contact. I would like to know more of you”

A knowing look stares down at him, as pearly white teeth nibble at their bottom lip. Then his gaze snaps towards the delicate hands laying on his chest. Nimble fingers trailed across the shirt collar, curiously it wanted to crawl inside and get a proper feel of him.

The connotations are stated blatantly obvious it should've put him off.

It was intense, intimate, anyone would jump at a moment's notice, pay no mind. Yet it doesn't settle well for him.

This wasn't what he’s looking for and wants in a relationship. He knows it, so wants them to know. “Stop, please. Can we talk about this”

Soft touches stopped then, pulling away, they pouted, as if saying no is ridiculous.

“I'm sorry, really am. Looking for something serious. I don't regret the night we shared. I like it. A lot. I'm just not keenly interested in what you're offering alone. However I hope we could still get to know each other”

They huffed, arms crossed. He thought it was cute as it is irritating, “Well then what do you want?”

“Simple, really. I want to know more about you then that night. As a person, you seem nice”

“Get to know me? Why?” Whiplashed, they almost sounded genuine, tired, and frankly suspicious.

“It can't be that absurd? That's how any sort of relationship starts, isn’t it?”

Should it? Despite their beginning in the stall of a club bathroom. Where any resemblance to dignity was thrown out the window beside their heads as they got busy, mouthing at one another. Or that he was reluctant to call them in the first place. Both using the other person for their own selfish, deprived gain.

Otherwise he wasn't a total classless asshole, disregarding their feelings. Anyways it's good to start somewhere.

“And this is going to sound bad. Really awful. I didn't even get your name the last time we met at that club”

By the ashamedly asked question, somewhat amused, they snorted, “Chuck”

[raccoonfallsharder]

Just wondering: Where did you read any of the GOTG/Rocket comics? I've looked for a while and can't find a reliable site to read them for the life of me xD

hey babe! this is a great, fair question.

honestly, as an artist and as someone with an ever-decreasing trust re: companies honoring digital licenses, i like print media for my favorite comics. i have most of the modern rocket, rocket & groot, and groot arcs in print.

i care much less about most gotg comics at large lol, so i have been more creative in my consumption of them. some ideas below (and maybe others will see this and add their own!) ♡ i am US-based so these may or may not be options in your location.

i was very lucky in 2023-2024. my partner had a free one-year subscription to marvel unlimited, so i consumed a vast amount of gotg comic content then. i don't love a lot of gotg comics (i'm a cretin, i know; a lot of the human characters are boring to me) so i read a lot at that time when it was free lol. things may have changed but marvel unlimited at the time was not a super-intuitive app (it might have been better from a web browser?), and there is a three-month lag from the comics hitting the shelves to be available in-app, but i didn't care about that too much at the time since i was mostly reading older stuff. marvel unlimited is $10/month i think. it looks like there is currently a free trial period you can access with a Disney+ account (not sure how long that lasts), and a code for 50% off for two months.

comixology through amazon is $6/month i think, and there's a 30-day free trial. if you're interested in going that route, i'd recommend lining up all the stuff you want to read in a list before you even sign up, and then consuming as much as you can before you cancel. you read through the kindle app, and some comics are available through kindle unlimited, too. if you've got money to spend and you enjoy electronic copies, you can also straight-up buy most of the comics through kindle. i haven't done a comparison on e-price vs print-price, so you'd probably want to double-check that.

finally, we also have a used bookstore near by with a decent tradebacks section, and we usually stop in about once a month. there was a pretty decent hardback version of rocket raccoon 1: a chasing tale (2014, skottie young) there two weeks ago, and it's actually where i got my copy of groot (2015, loveness & kesinger) about a year ago. i think i got it for like a quarter of the new-print price, and it was in really good condition. all the pages were nice and there was a little grime on the hardcover that i was able to get off (carefully) with some dish soap and a damp cloth. i've also gotten a couple gotg arcs there for cheap.

of course, all this relies on having at least some expendable income (unless you're gonna just truck through your whole library on that 30-day trial from comixology, which i fully support). i have not looked into this recently BUT if you have access to a local library, a lot of times they do have tradebacks/comics and will get what you want with an interlibrary loan if they don’t have it on hand. in most places you can coordinate the whole thing entirely online (even accessing the media digitally, sometimes).

beyond that, there really isn't (to my knowledge) a good way to access the comics for free, which i have complex feelings about.

i hope one of these options works for you nonnie, or that there are better options available and you can find them quickly! best of luck, and happy comics-hunting, my friend. ♡♡ may you find exactly what you need.