#mostly cause my brain is so shot and i have time remembering stuff

[tangential-hooligan]

“10 People I’d Like To Get To Know Better” tag game!!

Got tagged by @agent-gladhand 💖

Last Song: luther by Kendrick Lamar (what can I say? I’m weak to love songs 🥺)

Fav Color: My favorite color is #FFD9DA! (The exact shade of pink that makes up my fursona’s main fur color💖)

Last Book: Ough, this is a hard one actually… I think the last book I tried to read was Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer. (I did not get very far tbh. My attention span is shot these days. 😩)

Last Movie: This is also a hard one cause I’m actually not much of a movie person. I think the last movie I watched was the Polar Express, and that was because we had a watch party in the discord server. (I do have movies on my watch list though. I need to watch all the Sonic movies still. lol)

Last Game: Disco Elysium! (My game crashed on me though so I need to redo some stuff. Harrier Du Bois is the most pathetic, unfuckable person I have ever seen and he fascinates me. And Kim💖✨)

Last Show: That would be American Dad. (My brother and I usually try to make at least one meal at home together and thats our brainless just-put-it-on-and-eat watch😭 I still need to watch Dandadan too… WEEPS!!)

Spicy/Sweet/Savory: This is the hardest pick, cause I like all of these! But rn… I have a craving for something juicy and savory. (I should get steaks one day. As a treat. 🥺👉👈)

Relationship: Nope! I don’t really roll like that 😭 (I got too many issues to name and list to get into here, but most importantly I’m kinda on the aroace spectrum somewhere…? I have to look into it before I decide on a label of some kind.)

Last Internet Search: Can’t share that cause it’ll dox me 😭😭😭😭 (I look up the closing and opening time of places a lot and I couldn’t remember if I paid the water bill so I was looking up the hours of my town’s city hall. Bro says he thinks I paid it already, but I could have sworn that was last month’s bill… I’m a silly beast lol)

Tags if you wanna play: @tjs-stuffs @drag0n0fbutt3r @sapphirecereal and any of my mutuals that see this that wanna join in! (I’d like to see what y’all say 🥺💖)

[lilbluebastard]

Please do remember these are just my ideas, I don’t study injuries I’m just saying from what I know and realistically, if you don’t like please ignore, if you wanna share go right ahead 💙💙

⚠️⚠️Warning dark themes and mention of gore and sa!! You’ve been warned ⚠️ ⚠️

I just gotta think what it would be like just reality , it says coyle sexually assaulted people with his baton and if thats true how is everyone walking around like there normal?

Lets be real, if he had….you know done that I believe some woman would be flat chested or missing a breast having a hard time sitting down and hair loss down in there lower region and not to mention the scaring, they’d probably walk with a limp, especially the men knowing where coyle shocks male mannequins, men probably avoid sitting because of the pain

With gooseberry I hardly doubt some people would be able to talk with her shoving that drill in your face, you face would probably be heavily scarred and be covered in drill hole scars, she’d probably break a bone or even do something extremely damaging

Idk about the Franco m I mean anyone could recover from a gun shot but perhaps he could damage a few organs and even cause infection *p( he is using teeth as ammo 🤷‍♀️

I feel like that big grunts and berserkers have broken bones and possibly even paralyzed reagents (my oc was given brain damage from a berserker after he hit her in the head with his big ass metal gauntlet 😭) not to mention they’ve probably permanently killed more reagents then the prime assets have

Lil and armored grunts,night crawler, id say they’ve broken some bones and possibly even gutted and even scarred up a couple of reagents badly, definitely done organ damage and stuff

And not to mention there are some reagent cosmetics that show you an amputated leg I’m sure a couple of them took a couple of those (probably mostly gooseberry and big grunts with axes and even grunts messily hacking them off)

I feel like screamers have made more people deaf then killed them but who knows 🤷‍♀️

And realistically I feel like more reagents have died to the doctors and guards for then the actual enemies.

Pouncers have either heavily bruised an bloodied and broken a parts in your face or have beaten you to death

The pusher I feel like a either gave you so much psychosis that you either died to the skinner man or ended ones self or overdosed all leading to death basically

It’s honestly sad because I think that sone reagents have possibly gotten addicted to psychosis and look for the pusher to get a dose or step on mines to get it

[merakiui]

Hello! It is me, the anon that asked where you are in Penacony. I am also Amethyst Anon! I’ve sent ideas and stuff before about other stuff, mostly TWST, through anon cause I’m shy, but I want to be more involved with my blog so here I am off anon :3

Anyways, Sunday has officially rotted my brain. I lost interest in HSR because the Luofu storyline was kinda…meh to me, but seeing all this stuff about Sunday on tumblr made me go 👀 While I did have some things spoiled for me, playing it was still sooooo fun and every time he was on screen I was blushing hehe

Anyways, he has so much yandere potential that I came up with so many ideas that I might (?) want to pursue with writing once I muster up the courage to start writing again (I’ve got a difficult relationship with it rn 😫). I jotted them down in my phone and I just have to share them lest I explode. Dw there won’t be anything that spoils past where you said you’re at!

Okay, so there’s that ability that Halovians have that he referred to as tuning. When he used it to interrogate Aventurine I was scared and horny, and thought about Sunday using it on his darling. I don’t remember exactly how it works so this is at the top of my head but! everyday he’ll ask “Question: do you love me?” and of course you say no. It’s easy to answer that because it’s the truth. But one day when you say “no” you feel a searing pain in your head, like you’re being torn apart, and you’re horrified to realize that for the first time since he used his tuning ability on you, you’re lying. It doesn’t hurt to admit the truth (literally - the pain instantly goes away) but you feel your heart breaking forever…

I think that little diorama of Golden Hour he has in the pavilion technically belongs to every head in the family, but I like to think Sunday is fixated on it the most. Imagine he puts you there as punishment. Okay, you don’t want to spend time with him? (And he has so little free time, how could you be so cruel?) Into the makeshift doll house you go! He’ll loom over you like a giant and you can try to run and hide from his sight, but he can easily pick you up like you’re a little mouse, gently laying you on the palm of your hand. I think he’d like to undress and dress you while you’re so tiny, you’re his little delicate doll >:3c

So the part where the crew win the Soulglad competition and Sunday makes them answer three questions based on his life experiences, I felt like I was being personally targeted 😫 The fact that I had to choose one option or the other, with no room for nuance, and that for the first two I actually AGREED with him made me feel like he was psychologically tormenting me. Self aware Sunday who knows he’s in a video game??? I don’t think he’d need his tuning ability to manipulate you. All he has to do is talk in order to get you questioning yourself.

And perhaps my most unhinged idea…Sunday using tuning to make you cum without even having to touch you :3c

Hehe…those are my thots! I have so much more but they have to do with rest of the Penacony story! Btw the photo of him in the confessional…I instantly saved on my phone. Have you ever seen a man more beautiful?…And I also saved a screen shot of what Himeko said about him…

…Dom!Sunday aksiejskakakwnsnqjnan

( ˶°ㅁ°) !! Amethyst anon, hello!!!!!!! It is lovely to chat with you off anon!! I must thank you for always sending such wonderful thoughts hehe. <3

I am officially trapped in the Sunday pit. It's like Kikuo's Hole-Dwelling, only this is the Sunday-Dwelling, an inescapable pit in which all are destined to love him forever. Every day is Sunday if you're obsessed like me. OTL hsr cooked such an exquisite meal. I fear no character can compete with Sunday,,,, he is perfect. ✨

I'm happy you could enjoy Penacony despite being spoiled! The entirety of the Luofu storyline was spoiled for me, but I still enjoyed it because I got to fight Phantylia. She's so pretty uuwuwaaa. >w< that aside, I was also blushing whenever there was a scene with Sunday. I've taken so many screenshots of him,,, it's crazy how one man can rot my brain so intensely, but this is no different than my adoration for Scara and Azul. orz

The tuning ability AAAAAAAAAAA. That entire scene was so tense. I loved it. Poor Aventurine really didn't stand a chance. T_T Sunday plays 4D chess; it's impossible to beat him. That's such a brilliant idea,,,, Sunday using his tuning ability on you. The way you slowly but surely adopt different thoughts as your brain feels like it's burning. Inevitably, just as birds crash to their deaths, you will love him.

The Golden Hour model..... omg I had the same thought when Aventurine was shrunk and put inside it. Sunday who peers down at you and you're nothing more than a tiny ant from his perspective, perfectly palm-sized. He would treat you like a little doll and put you in all kinds of outfits, and you have no choice but to remain still because he could crush you between two fingers if he so pleases. Maybe he builds a small cage for you so that he can keep you at his bedside when he sleeps. :D

THOSE QUESTIONS!!!! I couldn't believe it, but I was also agreeing with him. It was a moment of, "Hold on. Let him keep talking." When Sunday also said that all days should be rest days (Sundays), I realized he may have been cooking with that one. ;;;;; self-aware Sunday is such a yummy thought... he's not asking the Trailblazer these questions; he's asking you, the person behind the Trailblazer. aaaaa it really is psychological torment. >_<

Tuning to make you cum without even lifting a finger or touching you...... omg that's genius. The way he'd be so coy and self-satisfied,,, smiling at you... maybe even doing that cute, sinister chuckle of his under his breath. He would be so mischievous with that once he realizes just how wonderful it is seeing you come apart from something like this. Sunday who becomes a little too attached to teasing you!!!!

AAAAAA your thoughts are all so scrumptious...... orz orz I'm eating them up like they're to be my last meal. The confessional scene is burned into my brain forever. Even now, I'm still shocked that such a beautiful character like Sunday exists. Nothing can ever surpass the greatness that is the confessional scene and all of Sunday's religious symbolism!!!!! >:D

AND THAT HIMEKO QUOTE!!!!! I also saved it as soon as I read it,,,, the "strong conviction and a desire for dominance." Himeko, you cannot do this to me.... making such an observation like that!!!!! It's dangerous for my heart. (๑﹏๑//) dom Sunday........... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-09-02

Do you rember. Wen day is dark, sember.

Listening: @cyelatm released a new album Habit Prism that I've been listening to in bits and pieces. Even, rhythmic folk, good music to have on when you have people around.

In that vein, Bandcamp Friday this coming Friday! Make your lists!

Watching: Watched The Raid which I've had kicking around for a bit. Do you want to watch guys punch each other all over for like 15 minutes at a time for an hour? No? Get better taste in movies and then watch guys punch each other all over for like 15 minutes at a time for an hour.

The Raid is so obviously made for like two dollars, there's one building, every single gun and piece of armour is airsoft gear, the camera is visibly some mid-tier hardware that suffers from severe rolling shutter, and it kicks so much ass.

There's some really interesting things happening with camera movement in this movie. Really really complicated multi-axis camera moves, the same shot will take like six different dutch angles in a single move, or will lock on to different objects and follow them, it's great for martial arts but it's also used to pretty good effect in some interstitial scenes.

The culminating fight with Mad Dog is so wild, literally just three guys in an empty concrete cube fighting for a solid ten or twelve minutes and it works! Does not seem possible. They actively remove almost every prop from the room so it's just guys hitting each other but they keep doing incredible stunts.

It's funny looking at the gifsets on here because they're unreadable, everything happens so fast and requires so much context that is only delivered in the full flow of the movie. My favourite part is when he said "It's Raiding Time" and raided all over those guys.

Reading: Finally sat down and got through the Phalanx's Twilight, Legion's Triumph series on acoup.

Sections IVa-c mostly slid off my brain because it's a bunch of wars I don't know enough about to contextualize but it's mostly justification for what's explained in parts I-III which were great, and it's an interesting look at how the political and military structures of Rome interwove to improve the effectiveness of the Legion.

Also reading Skin Horse, which I started ages ago but never got very far, I think because I started a job around that time and lost track of it. Sticking webcomic tabs on my little ARM tablet is really convenient, I've jammed Out Of Placers and Laika's Comet in there as well, it's been a while since I did a big archive dive on a comic.

Skin Horse is very much of its time, not really in sensibility but just in content. The nerds are characterized by liking Harry Potter.

Making: Resolved the power delivery issues that were causing me to have mysterious failures with the LED driver. That was annoying. Anyway remember to split your power supply when you could potentially pull like 10A@5V to drive LED's.

Playing: Tactical Breach Wizards campaign is ongoing, as you get deeper into the campaign your team expands which dramatically complicates operations, your possible actions explode, and I'm not even halfway through.

Dall was my newest operator at time of writing and she's probably the hardest to use, she can deal a lot of damage but relies more so than anyone else on good positioning, it's really easy to end up way out of place and waste her moves, and she's too heavy to shunt around with Jen's storm attacks the way you can with the others.

Speaking of those, I really like how the short turns and deterministic actions mean you can get really into the weeds. The first time I used a gale grenade to shunt Zan over one extra block to line him up I assumed this would be a sometimes food but you really find yourself doing stuff like that all the time.

I'm heading back and picking through some of the challenge missions concurrently with playing partially to stretch out overall gameplay and partially because I think having fewer abilities unlocked will make those more interesting.

Tools and Equipment: You know, I think we know each other pretty well, I can put this here. The Doxy USB-C Wand is a safe and legal thrill.

[xavissky]

Vanishing Skyward: Main Story Update Part 2 - Live Blogging

Alright Part II here we go! Chapters 1-10 (mostly) unbiased!

Part I

Chapter 1

Omg not the dialogue from the chapter 4 OG story omg a nightmare??

Bro that poor girl, so panicked

Ok but Caleb's way too calm. Something definitely went down

OHH the shardddd he confiscated the shard be needed :/

Is this the first "pip-squeak" of the story? :o I already can't remember but! He says it so casually almost like..... reallyyyy trying to bring her into a sense of familiarity. And she's picking up on it.

OHHH OHH the silence!! That's such good sound design. That's so good! It really made my heart drop but like.... As someone who actually got an unexpected message just like that this year, that is exactly what went through my heart :(((

Chapter 2

Bro what a tragedy. Poor Kevi.

I love how they highlight Zayne's involvement. Even if MC weren't there, you can tell something isn't sitting right with him. I think he would be every bit as concerned and bewildered.

Kevi's been brain washed oh noooooooo

Trust him uhh huhhhhhhh

It really is sad how much she doubts him like, instinctually, because she's too smart not to, but she can't bring herself to emotionally. She refuses. He's her weakness as much as she is his.

Oh not this guy again

HAHAHA honestly he's funny I'll give him that

"To kill you" "How lame" Lsjdhdgsg PLS OUR GIRL IS SO FUNNY

Oh he really is unhinged. Is Viper trying to help merely cause he wants to cause chaos for Caleb?

Chapter 3

Did what happened to her happen to Kevi?

Ahhhh a chip

Yo so that guy that was on the platform that Caleb took out was actually serious

Uh oh a wild Caleb appeared

Yo promising to keep her concealed huh. He really means that. Bro is cooked.

Might have been involved???? Oh honey

Ok??? Hopefully she's??? Kicking things into gear? Time to put some big girl pants on bbgirl come on you can do it

Chapter 4

Me already nervous cause stuff always goes down in chapter 4 with these two

lmao is that Philos? /hj I don't remember

LOL conflicting memories? Did they both have memories put in, is she actually misremembering, or is she recalling another AU?

(This confusion is what I used to feel with Rafayel constantly /lhhhhh)

"Your home was beyond the stars"!? Tucking this awayyyyy

Wow Caleb killjoy

The necklace thing really is sweet, and it shows how badly she really is trying to keep him exactly the same way he was.

I don't think Caleb's an entirely different person. I also don't think he's being two faced. This is him.

Oh good stars are exploding that's a good omen

oh my god she tracked him sldjdhsh

[Redacted]???? he locked her in!!!! aHahahhaah

she shot his door that's my girllllllll

Chapter 5

Ahhh so it's probably a facility like the kind she was raised in

"Stay frosty" the hell???? 🤣

What in the name of horror anime is this

La llorona's children,,????

Oh nooo this must be what Dawnbreaker!Zayne went through ;A;

Chapter 6

I lost the battle immediately lol i do not have the hang of this new companion

Chapter 7

He's very attentive but still in that possessive way

I'm glad she's finally poking at him

"Whether those people live or die tonight – it doesn't matter anymore" ok Anakin Skywalker

Him being lonely doesn't justify him being... like that. It's just screaming manipulative.

oh god he's going to lock her up isn't he this guy's unhinged where Viper at pls get Viper on the line asap

"Target for observation" sweetheart you know if your boyfriend considers you a target or a trophy are you gonna know the difference?

I chose "stay quiet" yeah I ain't talking to you rn buddy

"Aren't I pathetic?" buddy my dude pathetic doesn't even cover it

OH MY GOD SHE THREW SOMETHING AT HIM SHES MEEEEE

"The Caleb i knew is gone" this is the Caleb you knew he's just on Ever steroids and loneliness juice or something

Ykw that chapter was called the dark side and like how very Star Warsy too but also like.... throwback to that thing inside her, that Sylus said she and he were the same. Everyone has darkness. She's honestly capable of that kind of thing too, she's jealous and possessive too, she just doesn't feed it the same way he does. She doesn't excuse it the ways he does.

Chapter 8

Once again bringing in the hospital experience, good for her

Ykw though a year ago her acting was terrible but she's kinda had several lessons now and stealth missions with all the other boys. Her acting and stealth have really improved.

He did absolutely say he always found her playing hide-and-seek ma'am you cannot be doing this rn

Chapter 9

Honestly though like, in his place... while he's doing whatever he's doing.... it really actually makes the most sense to keep her like that LOLL like if you strip the feelings out of it it's like putting a toddler in a play pen. Just try to keep them occupied while you've got the child safety locks on.

His angry face hahahaha

Like I said. Kid in a play pen.

Oh sad she hit him where it hurts. If he does have a chip, I wonder if he's fighting it? Like the way Kevi was?

3 days later are you serious ouchhh

Girl get hiiiiiimmm

Hahahaha oh he's nuts! He's actually nuts!!

This is so funny to me she's like, do you hear yourself rn. Bro wants to live at Disneyland with her forever and be stuck in Fantasyland

What's sad is he really probably would abandon and do everything like that for her if she accepted it

Actually lowkey the cinematography here is so good! I'm loving the shot direction. That lighting also was so cool.

Idk if I'd call that a confession? But at least he's admitting he's always been like this.

Chapter 10

This is actually so tragic for her though like, it's moments like that one thinks, was it better off to think he was dead all this time? Cause this feels like a fate worse. He's back and their relationship has splintered. She didn't even refuse his comment about not being painful this time. Not cause he's right, but because he isn't. It's more painful this time for her, but they can't possibly see eye to eye now. A fate worse than death.

He's holding on to the past. Wanting her to live in that bubble fantasy of him protecting her always, like when they were kids. She's holding on to the past, to save him and hopefully get him back to what she's thinking is normal. They're both.... off? They both have lessons to learn!

Viper is so funny actually I do quite enjoy his antics

Onychinus confirmed good guys

Luke Pearce is that you

Ohhhh I wonder if that softer voice guy will come up later "Don't make me wait too long" hmmmmm

Caleb's going to be a weapon theory is correct it seems

Ahhh the fountain of youth

Im wondering if this is one of those "millions of years ago a dying goddess put her soul in there" types of things that's why she reincarnated?

I wonder if one by one all the main characters visited the fountain at some point

Hm! Very interesting and not at all what I expected but! I'm glad we have new lore to chew on for a bit

[eurodyne-d]

Firstly, your Cyberpunk photography is fucking incredible. I love your characters and- as a side note away from my main question- absolutely need to know what mod you used for your V’s long hair. Plus seeing Kerry content is automatically a A in my book because he’s just the best character- what can I say? Anyways, I’m sure it’s been asked hundreds of times- but, how do you manage to get your photography’s so… perfect? I have a pretty beefy PC and run CP on the highest graphics but both with and without mods all my pictures always look so blurry and terrible- specifically around the faces. I’d love to know how you get them so clear and beautiful plus any tips and recommendations on your posing/composition.

This is so kind, thank you so much omg. Your message just made my week <3

For your first question, you can find the hair here!

As for my shots... Honestly it's mostly just me balling it haha. Mine used to be very blurry too but I can't for the life of me remember my settings when that happened, but I do know Path Tracing makes stuff look weird for me even tho my video card should be able to handle it. In general, ray tracing is always off for me, and I have Resolution Scaling on DLSS quality priority with max graphic settings (except for clouds, those are on medium(if that even matters)). Once in photomode tho, it's just a bunch of messing around and see what works. Most of the time I first press space for a quick render to fix the lighting/shadows, then I start messing with the exposure/contrast/filters a bit to enhance the colors of the overall composition, and sometimes I throw on a reshade that compliments the vanilla look further. My general FOV is around 20-30 with 70-80 on DOF cause I feel that makes the overall shot look most crisp and if necessary I'll clean up a bit in photoshop afterwards, but most of the time i just use it to slap on a filter and some grain and call it a day.

After I throw it into photoshop, the end result would be something like this:

As for tips on posing/composition; first and foremost, in-game lighting is your best friend. There are plenty of spots with neon signs and spotlights that give great lighting. If I found a great spot but aren't too sure about the lighting, I also tend to mess around with AMM and adjust the time of day for better (or no) sunlight. Or you found the perfect spot but the lighting is just a bit off? Spawn some spotlights or area lights with AMM to enhance your models! I usually just roam around, find a spot I like as background, and then go from there with setting up an outfit/color scheme/pose. Most of it for me really is just throwing shit at the screen and seeing what sticks tbh. I do use the photomode grid a bit especially for 16:9 shots to align my models a bit off-center cause that just looks better to me personally.

And that's all I can really think of right now.. Sorry if it's not much of a help or all over the place, I'm currently sick and my brain isn't functioning too well lmao. If you have any more questions, don't be afraid to ask! I'm more than happy to answer!

[television-overload]

Get to know your fic writer (no pressure):

1, 4, 13, 16, 22, 25 (add link if you want), 40, 54, 56

Ooh yay! Thanks for the ask! I think I copied these all over correctly. I was bored so I went in-depth 😂 Here we go:

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

I've been sitting here for like 5 minutes trying to figure out which I prefer 😂. I find myself coming up with multi-chapter ideas more often I think, really grand plots that I definitely don't have time to devote attention to. I also run into the problem of not knowing how to fill in between the parts that I do I have ideas for, so true multi-chapter fics are a rarity. I've had a few times where a one-shot turned into a multi chap, and THOSE tend to work better and are way more cohesive. One of my favorites is one I wrote for Star Wars (wrong blog, oops 😅) but both chapters were a lot stronger than my usual stuff, and it performed way better on AO3 which was really gratifying.

I've always wanted to write a true masterpiece where readers are anxiously awaiting the next chapter, like so many I've read, but I don't know if I've ever gotten there yet. Maybe a few when I used to write NCIS stuff on fanfiction.net.

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Songs, a lot of times. They hit me in the feels. Sometimes a line in a fic I'm reading will spark an idea, something I haven't thought about, a new interpretation of an existing scene from the source material. Gifsets, Tumblr meta analysis, movies I'm watching. So many places. I feel like half of them come to me when I'm at work, which is very inconvenient. The aforementioned Star Wars two-shot was half written on the bus ride home from work in the notes app on my phone. I've written several in the aftermath of particularly good or bad episodes/movies. Fix-it fanfic is always great, I feel like I need to write more of it.

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

I haven't done this for very long, but lately in my adulthood (as opposed to my teenage fics *shudders*) I've actually been pretty good about writing out an outline and going back to edit later. I used to just spew everything in a word doc and barely go through it before posting, but now I reread it to death, mostly to make sure it flows well. My outlines are, shall we say, extensive. The Star Wars fic I'm working on now had 20 chapters outlined and it totaled over 20,000 words. I've basically storyboarded the whole thing and then I go through and convert that to actual scenes. Important dialogue moments I want to hit are included, cause I know I'll forget them if I don't write them as they come to me. It helps me to be able to see the big picture, so that I don't give up on the project halfway through. But for spur of the moment fics or most one-shots, I still mostly write as I go. Occasionally if I have a thought that I want to make sure to include in a later scene, I'll just tack it on at the bottom of the doc and delete it once I get to that point and I put it in writing.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them.

They're scattered all over the place so that's a good question that God probably only knows the answer to. Some are barely even ideas but take up a line or two in my notes app on my phone. Some probably live only in my brain, forgotten until something triggers me to remember that I was thinking of writing it 😅.

I'd love to do something with @irish-trish 's prompt to fill in the scene from NCIS "She mentioned you at the funeral, I could see what she felt." It sounds right up my alley, but there's a Star Wars fic week coming up in September that I want to actually do on time this year, so I can't allow myself to shift focus to NCIS quite yet 😭

Other than that, I want to write a second chapter to my X-Files fic "Field of Dreams" where Mulder gets to play catch with his son. I really loved writing that fic.

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

Nothing spicy. I don't think I'd ever write in first person unless it was in the form of a letter. Other than that, I think I'd do pretty much whatever. It's just a matter of what I have the skills for I think ��

Not a fan of AUs, except canon divergence, obviously. To me, the way the characters meet is so integral to who they are that it can't be changed much or it just doesn't feel like them. I've read maybe one fic that changed how characters met (Mulder and Scully) but that was the result of time travel and all sorts of things that warmed me up to the idea, plus the characters as we know them were still there. Alternate universe in the truest sense. I got distracted, what were we talking about?

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

The two fics I think of as my comfort fics, ones I found really peaceful and natural to write, would have been nice to see get more attention. I've been writing on and off for like a decade now (😳) and I've only ever really had one fic truly pop off in terms of kudos and comments. Which are literally my life blood 😂. But a lot of my older stuff I look back on and I'm like, yeah, that wasn't that great.

My Star Wars (Obi-Wan and Satine) one shot "this could be such a dream" I found really emotional and relaxing to write. I was kind of surprised it didn't go very far, but it was part of a weekly challenge thing so I suppose it makes sense in a way.

To get back to the TV shows I write for, though (since that's the focus or THIS blog), I really really loved my X-Files fic "Field of Dreams", in large part because I love that movie which inspired it, and I love a domestic, peaceful and content-if-not-happy happily ever after for Mulder and Scully. The movie itself makes me cry and feel so many feels, and I thought the connection to Fox Mulder was a really good one.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I would welcome anythinggggg, that is my dream!! I haven't really written anything I'm super proud of yet in the NCIS fandom that I feel would warrant art, but maybe someday! I'm working on a Star Wars "Sound of Music" type looooong fic rn and boy, the amount of work I've put in, I would die if someone were engaged enough to be inspired by it.

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Honestly, I get so excited to post it. I hope people will enjoy what I've written. I've read so much great fanfic, that I just want to contribute my 2 cents to the fandoms. Getting comments (as rare as it often is) literally makes my day and makes it all worthwhile to me. Any form of engagement, interaction here on Tumblr, that's what I strive for. But I also write for me. Exploring ideas I've never seen done before, filling in gaps in the fandom, I love it. Those comfort fics I was talking about, I love to just go back and read. It doesn't really matter, in the end, if they touched other people like they do me. I like them and that's what matters. The fics I'm not so proud of? I've been transferring them over from Tumblr and fanfiction.net anyway because some of them have received really lovely comments and people might enjoy them despite how I feel.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I hope I'm improving on descriptive language. I want to bring out emotions in my writing, and I think there's been definite improvement since I started. I'm also thankful that I have a grasp on grammar and spelling and all the typical writing conventions. That can be a turn off to a lot of readers if it's a complete mess, so luckily I was always a pretty harsh editor throughout my schooling 😅

Get to know your fic writer

[the-firebird69]

GOES-East - Sector view: Tropical Atlantic - GeoColor - NOAA / NESDIS / STAR

We are watching you people and see what you're doing. He seriously helps everybody can peered they're going after his ships shortly. Especially the one off Africa cause while it's out there they can disable it how do you leave the planet or you're all dead. They seem to push other ships off they know how to do it they've seen it. Right now we're worried for his well being and he says you should be you need to be get people here and straighten out a whole bunch of messes. And he realizes the Earth is in a state of war but really it's controlled we don't let them access areas we have to come in here and straighten this out we have to straighten these ships out it's gross there's no air only the world is a problem wherever these idiots are. We're gonna get going on it and we will have him issue things to start a process of eliminating problems and problem people here it is going to be a monumental occas a monumental occasion for a lot of people including our son and daughter of course and you would know that by heart 'cause you are such annoying people on purpose it is torture and we are bringing you in charges and you are going to hell you don't think so because you're a damn stupid. We can make them stick and we have the problem is that you go to the prison and you're losing control of it here and you're just getting rid of your own anyways and we don't have that time to wait for those small numbers and you're going to go to prison and you will die for what you've been doing. If not get killed from my firing squad. Days that you should remember. Those days are coming up. Lincoln took a break and that's John Remillard and it's quite extensive it was years and here will be months and he'll take the presidency back and he'll get killed in the Bulls be gone and there's several murders that happen after Lincoln was shot. They're gonna happen again and he will not show up ever again. September 22nd 2024 in 1775 he was arrested on that day and it's coming up in less than two months and he was hung to death . And he disappeared after the hanging for several months it was quite awhile and back then a month counts only for a few days and it's true that he gets hung and he disappears people panic and go after his stuff . And he gets killed a few times many many times and he disappears for weeks at a time and his people pay for it. It is approaching the final event which is the death of Abraham Lincoln and the date is April 14 and he never checks back in and his brain is elsewhere. We do not expect him to be in Florida most of that time as his armies are going to be on their knees in less than a month or so ahamic Abrahamic abraham Lincoln ohh **** you're in a song the date Abraham Lincoln was shot is April 14 1865.

more shortly

Thor Freya

we take it to heart and see it he a preambl and they want to make him wealthy adn then rags and so on like trump. however he says it willl be fraud to a degree no mostly and no not affective. they beg to differ will own it have power over it and he laughs ok sure. i send hand singals and such. fine they say go your way and i shall. have power dont need fake power you will be fooled macs he says. and this is it they fight and we wanted it and sit barfing farting and john r the worst a joke. now we need out of this

megan merkle

Olympus

[silkhy-john]

So yes uhhh 2 (the sequel to 1 cause I’m not creative) is indeed a WIP where WIP stands for WORK IS PROBLEMATIC (still stands for WORK IN PROGRESS as well, though my brain feels clogged). But wow, one chapter down, four more (?) to go. Who knows how I’ll divide them though.

My focus right now is Tanaka week, which is in *checks date* 4 days where I am, and has taken me by complete surprise. I love writing drabbles, but something about those prompts is whispering ‘1K-5K semi-linked one shots’ in my ear and I really really want to give in. I’ll only indulge it for some fics. We’ll see. But yeah.

Uhhh, also constantly reworking Platinum in my head. I think I mostly have to work past being anxious about whether or not I’ll deliver a work worth reading to the people who liked my first go at it? But yeah stuff to think about later.

Also remember that one time I mentioned a Jercy/BOTW AU? Still thinking about it every day. A bit daunting, but I’ll do it one day.

Also having a lot of xenoblade brain rot, but the only I ever feel confident writing for is 2.

And yeah. Long story short, stuff is happening a lot and a lot of stuff is happening :D

[turtlemagnum]

so, spent some time with fallout: new california (new vegas mod), probably about 15-16 hours judging by how long i stayed up that one night, so here's my review:

writing was better than that of fallout 3 or 4, but to me that's as much of a compliment as saying that a mcdonalds burger tastes better than literal shit. i liked the characters, there's a certain charm to most of them, but i wouldn't consider the writing to be exceptional. i also feel like the writing got significantly worse after leaving the vault, but that might just be that the companions i had basically had nothing to say after getting to safety. i will add that the voice acting was all around pretty great, even if in some areas the writing wasn't up to par. i'll also say that in some areas, their insistence on stuff being fallout lore friendly felt a bit.... repetitive, of previous games?? like aside from the enclave still existing (which to be fair, fallout 3 insisted it still exists too but i don't count that, the damn enclave was blown up in fallout 2), it's also a bit weird to me how there's also just another guy who's basically just the master, but again

some context is that i went relatively scorched earth, war of all against all type deal, which is something i rarely do in RPGs. it started with killing all the raiders in their mine area (side note but i wish you could free the slaves, though to be fair that's also a problem in vanilla new vegas so eh). but the way i played was essentially just... holding my ground?? raiders wanted me dead, i killed them. and when i got to the NCR dipshit, he threatened my life if i didn't work for him so i killed him too, thus pissing off the NCR and seemingly a few other groups (like gun runners). but it all felt natural, i normally don't like playing as a wasteland boogieman kinda guy but the way i naturally fell into it felt pretty nice. y'know how in jjba, pillar men are to vampires what vampires are to humans?? i felt like that sorta deal to raiders and other such miscreants, even moreso than in base new vegas. it felt natural, very very natural, and i didn't really feel bad for simply standing my ground, y'know?

i do like the update to the NCR uniform, it actually blends in pretty well with the worldspace and caused me to mistake shrubs for corpses and vice versa. made looting NCR troopers a bit more of a pain, but it was executed in such a way that made me appreciate the extra effort that they honestly didn't really have to do. like, with a lot of things i feel like they coulda left something untouched and it would've been just fine, but they tried to improve it and i appreciate that (like the 10mm pistol!! i actually really love the update to the 10mm pistol model, looks more like an actual gun)

i do like the relative freedom afforded by the game. right at the start of the "real" game, i immediately shot the siblings bragg in the face, and it just let me! sure, they got back up, even after i esploded their heads with my 10mm, but that just meant that i got more 10mm off their corpses (which also seemed to regenerate, weirdly enough). from what i've seen, doing the NCR main quest seems a bit railroady, but i've definitely seen new vegas mods do the overall concept of "NCR main quest for our quest mod" far, far worse. i also like that there comes a time where you're actually free to rearrange the brain matter of senator dickshitter (i don't remember his name). the whole empire of japanese immigrants thing felt a bit contrived, but i can't say that it wasn't cool, and to be fair i think that things can be a bit contrived if they're cool enough and it's not that implausible

the thing where one of the only main cities exclusively insists on NCR dollars is insufferable, mostly because gunrunners was there and they didn't even have any NCR dollars for sale. one of my favorite pasttimes to do in the base game is to lightly flirt major knight into repairing my shit for free and abusing that to get guns and armor i looted off of raiders all pristine and ripe for selling, and one of the best places to hawk my garbage is gun runners because they're A. rich as hell and 2. have a lot of guns and ammo and gun accessories, and as a gunfucker who literally learned to mod the game to edit how the guns work, that gets me off like you wouldn't believe (side note but i'm actually pretty sure new vegas was what originally set me on the path of becoming a gun guy, like in retrospect. i really appreciate the fact that this damn game gave me my strongest special interest, and that the devs went so far as to actually buy guns and shoot them to see how they should properly work, using (mostly) real guns and calibers and shit)

this is all to say that all in all, i liked new california. i wouldn't say i loved it, and after one extended play session and a second few hour one, i wouldn't say i feel compelled to keep playing. but all in all, i'd recommend it. now, does it compare well to vanilla new vegas? no. but that's like saying that this mcdonalds cheeseburger isn't as good as the best damn burger you've ever had, made just for you from a local joint. now, is it a nice change of pace? does it give you new fun to have in one of the greatest games of all time? absolutely. i'd recommend it, though to be clear i'd personally back up your game before installing it and then once you're done, delete the new california install and just copy and paste your original version back to where it was. or, like me, also back up your new california install because you might (might) wanna revisit it.

[amosscoveredcat]

just a rant cause brain

i struggle to even play older games that i grew up playing, i struggle to play basically anything thats not gta online and honestly its just that; 1. I have to be good at something, it used to be skateboarding, i can draw relatively well but chronic pain makes it hard, I'm not the best player on gta but i know im better than most people

2. Thats the game i was playing when i had my head injury...brain trauma and memory loss. It was hard at first to really even competently play gta remembering the number of click up or down in a menu where a hurdle but ultimately was good for my brain and memory health, but its because i mostly knew it before i wasnt a full tryhard but i didnt start at square one, playing ANYTHING else, except left for dead 2 with my boyfriend i feel frustrated and lost and it makes me feel so stupid and it makes me not even want to try new games i barely gave RDR2 a try and that mostly functions like gta, im mostly just rambling, i do love gta i enjoy grinding and playing missions and i enjoy messing around in freemode doing stupid shit with friends and i love making little toxic rat cunts that think they're hot shit cry and rage like little babies because the gay furry bent them over in the game, i just normal pvp and 1v1's and playing beach or sniping or trying to snipe someone from something or trying to RPG a or forcing a spawn trying to get a certain kek whatever it is is that can be a cool video or clip and the i fucking love making the videos i couldnt give a fuck less they're the least viewd thing on the channel i love making them and its proof youtube success isnt skill because the kid that sit in RC cars and Armored vehicles have 50k subs and 200k views every video and all they do is bait or fuck with real tryhard and make a 15 min video about "look at him he's gunna EWO" or fucking up some wannabe and claiming you beat a real tryhard meanwhile i swear we do the most epic shit ive seen a gta youtuber do:

-killing godmode players -killing orb spamming booters -killing lagswitchers -killing perma off radar and job TP abusers -killing passive players

We are litteraly un matched on console no one has done the kind of shit we do in the game since SUCE did back in like 2018ish years and it was on PC we do everything on console where there's not a shred of doubt every shot we take is just our aim and accuracy and every fight outcome is just skill, a video where someone starts a fight, loses, goes perma off radar, loses further and then job TP around just to continue to get fucked up even off the radar teleporting around gets maybe 50 views is fine by me cause at the end of the day i know we're just living our best life and making a little content out of a game we'd be playing anyway, and people we'd be fucking up anyway because we arent ever really trying, i wont lie yes some videos we try, but a good portion of the time we just arent its more that the rats and cheaters are extremely predictable im gunna end the rant here its basically just that i guess i cant go on any other game and come out on top over other actual competitive PvP players and cheaters i know as i just stated i dont even need to be good at the top teir like that to make content but idk we're mostly just doing what we want maybe i'll try to start streaming some other stuff maybe i'll try streaming diablo or fallout as well, maybe i need to entirly lose my ego when it comes to video games cause they're suppposed to just be fun right?

[starrynite7114]

always you (angel reyes)

A/N: Good morning everyone! I know I haven’t posted in a while, and you all know why. Thank you all again for being very understanding, it was a rough couple of weeks, and I’m trying to push through the best I can. This story was supposed to be a one shot for a prompt request I received some time ago, but I’m glad I’m able to finally fulfill it. I wrote out most of it already so it should be posted every 2-3 days. I’m also finishing up Roommates this week, at least trying to! 

Hope you all have been having a good week thus far! Hopefully it is also warming up! Exams have been killing me, but my last one is later today, so yay!

The new Mayans trailer looked amazing! Definitely getting the creative juices flowing, even for EZ. 

Anyways, thank you all again, you are all the utter best!

Special shoutout: To @blackmissfrizzle​, you fucking crazy, violent person, my second brain. Because of you, I got a Tiktok guy on here. But thank you for listening to my crazy ideas about this story, a story that was supposed to be a one-shot turned into a series cause of all of those videos, love you though. And to @angelreyesgirl​ you’re the one who helped me figure out as to why certain things happen in the story, thank you, I just, I love you, you already know this, no more sappiness from me today, maybe. Also, happy birthday!

Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know! My tag list is a little messy, but please let me know if you want to be added!

Masterlist

Word count: 8657

Warnings: Mentions of stalker behavior, angst, smut

169: “ What a pretty sight. ”

187: “ Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ”

You sighed, the knocks on the door following the call you just received from Coco made you want to pull your hair out. This has been ongoing since you two broke up two years ago. It was routine at this point and you were slightly getting tired of it. He chose to let you go and here you were opening your door so Angel could spend the night after a drunken stupor. 

“Sorry again hermana, you know I try to bring his big ass home, but you know how stubborn he is.” Coco assisted Angel inside your apartment with Gilly helping him out. 

They assisted Angel down to your couch, he was barely conscious. He had this obnoxious smile on his face as he settled on your couch.

“Where’s my girl?” Angel called out as he grabbed a pillow, resting his head. 

Gilly looked up at you and you shook your head. “She’s asleep bro, just go sleep.”

“Okay, I’ll go to her.” Angel attempted to stand up, but Gilly held him down.

“Hey, remember, you don’t like bothering her when she’s asleep.” Gilly reminded Angel.

“You’re right, I just want to tell her I love her.” Angel laid back down, his eyes closing.

Before long, Angel’s soft snores indicated to you all he was asleep. Coco looked at you as you looked at Angel, confused as always as to why he had to come to you whenever he was drunk. They’ve tried asking him, both Coco and Gilly, and whenever you saw him in the morning, you just gave him coffee and chose not to talk to him. He tried to make small talk with you, but you didn’t entertain it.

Angel chose to break up with you two years ago, your year and a half relationship down the drain. You didn’t fight him when he ended your relationship. You accepted it and attempted to move on. 

Problem was, Angel didn’t let you go. His presence was still felt even though you didn’t see him. Then three months after your breakup, the drunken visits came. At times, he would talk to you when he would come drunk, but you chose to ignore it and just took care of him.

You wanted to turn him away, but you love Angel. It was hard not to do so. Whenever you would think you had the courage to turn him away, you would let him back in your bed just so you could hold him. It was unfair to you, you wanted to move on, yet, when you had the chance to hold him, you never passed it up. You were addicted and you would break the habit eventually, but Angel was just, well, he was Angel. 

“Y/N, we can take him home if you want.” Coco hated doing this to you. He was there from the beginning and he didn’t want to keep dragging you back in Angel’s life. He knew how hard you were trying to move on, but it seemed like Angel held on.

“No, it’s okay Coco, just let him sleep.” You pushed your glasses up the bridge of your nose, sighing as you draped a throw blanket over Angel. 

“We can stay if you want.” Gilly offered. Much like Coco, he felt for you. You were a sweet girl, always nice to the boys and never made a fuss when Angel chose to break dates to hang out with them. For him, you were the ideal girl, you were reasonable, beautiful, and a hell of a cook. When Angel broke up with you, they planned to keep in touch, bug you every once in a while for dinner. But then they realized, Angel had no plans of letting you go either. 

You chuckled and shook your head. “It’s fine, I’m sure you guys want a break from this guy.”

“We do, we really do.” Gilly agreed. “But we want to be here for you too, why did we bring him here man?”

“You gonna try to argue with Angel? He’s fucking unreasonable when he’s sober, it’s another thing when Don Quixote over here is drunk.” Coco shook his head. “If you need anything, just call me.”

“Call us.”

You nodded your head. You gave the two Mayans a hug before closing the door behind them. When you turned back, you gasped when you found Angel standing.

“Let’s go sleep?” His eyes were opening and closing and he was slightly swaying. You took one of his arms and led him to your room.

This was how it always ended. Regardless if you put Angel in your guest bedroom or the couch, he always ended in your bed. 

You assisted him on your bed, going back to close your door. Angel took off his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers. “I love you.”

Your heart clenched hearing him say that. He always told you he loves you. Without a fail, he always did, when he was visiting you intoxicated. Yet, you never felt it, especially with the way things ended. And he never said it when you were together. You did, and that’s when things went downhill for you two. Holding on to the doorknob, you tried to stop the tears from coming. Angel was watching you, waiting for you to come join him on your bed. He just wanted to hold you. 

“You coming?”

You nodded your head and went to your side of the bed as Angel scooted up to his. Moving the blanket, you two settled under the blanket and Angel pulled you flush against him. He caressed your face, before leaving a kiss on your forehead.

Looking up at him, he was looking down at you, he was caressing your face again.

“What a pretty sight.” He sighed.

Your head rested on his chest and you eventually heard his breathing even out. You’re not sure how much more you could take of this. 

You had to move on.

It was time.

The next morning, you hoped it’s one of the days that Angel left while you were asleep. And he did, which you were thankful for. It was always awkward when Angel was still here when you woke up. Rolling over to the side, you sat up, slipping your glasses back on. Yawning, you checked your phone and had a few messages from Coco and Gilly, one from EZ.

Choosing to reply later, you placed your phone back on your dresser and stood up. Stretching as you let out a yawn, you walked out of your room and froze when you heard movement in your kitchen. Rushing back in your room to get the bat you had for protection, you made your way back towards the kitchen, peaking in and found Angel. You contemplated pretending to go back to sleep, but Angel’s voice stopped you.

“Don’t even think about pretending to go back to sleep, I made you breakfast and you have work in an hour and a half.” Angel called out.

You sighed. Placing your bat at its spot in your room, you go to the kitchen and found Angel making a plate. He handed you the plate and you murmured a thank you. Sitting at the dining table, you made sure to sit on the other side since the two chairs beside you were full of presents you have yet to wrap for Christmas. You still had time, but your dining table was basically full.

Angel smirked when he saw where you were situated. You acted as if he wasn’t with you for four years. He placed his plate down at the other end of the table. Moving your stuff to your coffee table, you opened your mouth to protest, but Angel already placed the presents down.

“You don’t have to move them, there’s plenty of room.” You protested.

“Away from you, yes. But I want to sit next to you.” Angel moved his plate and sat beside you. He shot you a smile before picking up his fork. “Come on, eat up.”

“Angel, this really isn’t necessary. I can just grab something on my way to work.” You didn’t like spending time with Angel, especially in this way since it still struck a chord with you. The familiarity of it was a painful memory of what was let go two years ago. 

“It would be rude for you to not eat after I made your favorite.” Angel knew you couldn’t resist a good omelette filled with spinach, bacon, sausage and cheese. “Please, let me do this for you, you did me a solid, again.”

Picking up your fork, you began eating. Letting the silence enveloped between you two. This was better. You didn’t want to talk to Angel. You didn’t want any thank you’s or apologies, you just wanted him to go so you could pretend that the other didn’t exist again.

Angel watched as you ate, keeping your eyes on your food. He hated how he did this to you, how you couldn’t even look at him. Every time he became highly intoxicated, Angel refused to go anywhere but your place, since it’s when he needed you most. Angel hardly drank himself to a stupor, but when he did, he was mostly troubled and was trying to forget the issues that were weighing heavily on him. Even though it’s been two years, you were one of those issues. He saw you around town often and it hurt him whenever he did. You were so close yet so far away. He knew that Coco and Gilly hang out with you every once in a while. Every day, it was a struggle for him to not see you, talk to you, hold you and be with you. 

So he came up with this ridiculous plan after you accepted him into your home one night after he got drunk. 

Whenever missing you became too unbearable, he got wasted and refused to go anywhere but your place. He was always aware enough to know he would be brought to you. And once he was with you, you would take care of him. He felt somewhat bad, but he didn’t know how else to approach you.

“Are you busy tonight?” Angel broke the silence between you two.

“What?” You had to make sure you heard him correctly. Looking over at Angel, he was waiting for you to reply. “I have a dinner thing.” A lie, and you were almost sure Angel could see right through it, but you didn’t want to think that. You could pull this off.

“A dinner thing?” Angel raised an eyebrow, amused by your choice of words. “Sounds like a fake thing.”

“Doesn’t matter to me if you believe me or not, I have plans.” You had finished your food. Picking up your plate, you placed it in the sink and turned to face Angel who was still sitting down. “Don’t worry about the dishes, I can do them. Also, I’m not really sure why you always decide to keep coming to my place when you get drunk, but I would really appreciate it if you didn’t come here anymore.” Your best friend, Marie had advised you to create boundaries, to tell Angel that you no longer want him coming over whenever he was intoxicated. 

That it was time for you both to stay away from one another like you intended to do so when he broke up with you.

“Querida.” Angel stood up, but you shook your head, holding your hand up.

“You wanted to break up, we’re done Angel. As much as I want to be there for you, I can’t keep doing this and hurting myself. You chose to let me go, so go.” You left the kitchen and entered your room, locking the door. 

Angel watched as you walked away, telling himself to run after you, but he couldn’t. He’ll let you walk away for now, but after you put such a decisive end to this whole thing, he couldn’t just let go. It may be selfish, but living without you for the past two years further opened his eyes.

He wanted to be with you and just you. 

It’s always been you.

=================

A month without any incident with Angel. You're glad he has finally decided to leave you alone. Coco had texted you a few times expressing that he was proud of you about putting your foot down with Angel. EZ has been frequenting the library more as of late, and he’s either had Marie with him, his girlfriend, or he came by himself. 

A new year and new decade ushered in a new era for you.

You caught EZ coming in, a smile appearing on your face.

“We got that book you’ve been waiting for, I saved you the copy since it was the only copy we got.” You grabbed the book and handed it over to him.

“Thanks Y/N.” He looked around. “Um, did Coco come? Or any other Mayan?”

“No,” you gave him a confused look. “You’re the only Mayan that comes during business hours. The others usually come when the library is closed waiting for me to make sure I made it home safely when I was still dating Angel.” 

EZ opened his mouth to apologize but you held your hand up.

“Ezekiel, I’m not fragile, it’s fine to mention your brother.” You laughed lightheartedly to lighten the mood. You knew EZ tried his best not to mention his older brother. “So you and Marie are getting serious?”

“Something like that,” the sheepish smile on Ezekiel’s face made you want to pinch his cheeks. “Just put a good word for me.”

“A good word? My best friend hates hanging out at the library with me, yet, she comes here to what? Watch you read?” You loved teasing Ezekiel. You were glad when he got out of prison, the way everything turned out for him, it was awful but you were grateful he was getting another chance at life. “You should at least take her out on a date.”

“Look, don’t judge me, I just got out of prison.”

“It’s been two years.”

“Alright, fine, Marie is just intimidating. One day she seems impressed with me, the next she’s not into it.”

“I think you’re reading too much into the situation. You two have been talking for four months now and you still haven’t asked her out. Marie is simple, start with the movies.” You suggested. 

“That’s fucking lame though.”

“Okay Netflix.”

“How about the fair? You and Angel can be like our chaperone.” EZ was trying to help Angel, soften you up some, but you were pretty good at blocking EZ’s charm. 

You looked at EZ for a moment, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Nice try.”

EZ smiled and took the book to his usual corner at the library. You knew your best friend would be bursting through the door in the next thirty minutes. Marie and EZ have been playing the flirting game for the last year and have been officially talking for the last four months. It was cute and you were happy that Marie found EZ and vice versa.

You got on the computer, trying to organize the library website like you promised your boss that you would do. The door opened and you expected the usual coffee Marie brought you.

“I feel like I should start requesting for a pastry since you two use my library as your hangout spot.” You teased. “I’m glad you’re here, coffee will help me through the rest of my shift.”

“I didn’t bring coffee querida, but I can run and get you some.”

You froze. That wasn’t Marie’s voice. Looking up, you found Angel with his staple kutte on his back along with a navy blue button up. His body has changed over the last two years, his muscles were more prominent. You weren’t blind, you could appreciate Angel taking care of his body.

“Can I help you?” The professional tone killed Angel, but he was determined to break through that.

“Came to check out a book, maybe you can help me?” Angel leaned against the countertop of the kiosk desk. His scent hit you and it made you want to smack him. How dare this man? You wanted to move on, and you’ve been doing so well. 

“I didn’t know you could read.”

“You know that’s a lie, I used to read to you while I fucked you.”

“Angel.” You hissed out his name, not wanting to yell.

Angel chuckled at your reaction. “Is it not true?”

“Listen, loitering is not allowed here.”

“That’s literally what everyone does around here.” Angel looked over at EZ and he shot his baby brother a smirk. “Well, I was looking for Stanford, I’ll be seeing you.”

You chose not to reply, saying ‘yeah right’ in your head. Marie walked in coffee and a box of Krispy Kreme in hand. The sigh of relief you let out was definitely noticed by her and her eyes immediately roamed the library to see if your creepy admirer was around, but instead she found EZ and Angel.

“Never pegged Angel as a library type of guy.” She placed your drink on the countertop. 

“He actually loves poetry, he really likes the European writers, British novels mostly Pride and Prejudice, Frankenstein, Jane Eyre, Shakespeare.” You mouthed off Angel’s interest which never surprised Marie. When you love someone, you made it a mission to know that person, so you would know their ins and outs. You become invested in any relationship you forge since you rarely make friends as it was. It wasn’t about quantity, it was all about quality for you. A hard lesson you learned over the years. “He’s a big fan of Scarlet Letter and Invisible Man. But he really likes poetry from all generations, when we were still together, I got him a few poetry books from a few authors he liked.” You paused, realizing the tangent you went on. It wasn’t uncommon whenever you spoke about Angel. 

Marie enjoyed it because she got to learn about her old obnoxious neighbor that never deserved her best friend. You met Angel through Marie and in some ways, she regretted letting it happen, but when she saw how happy you were, how could she be so opposed? Even with knowing Angel’s history, she had faith. But then Angel decided that the single life was more of a life for him, something you never knew about. You never wanted to know about it and she didn’t push you.

“It’s okay, I love your tangents, even if they’re about that asshat.” Marie rolled her eyes. “So, have you given any thought of going on a date with Tyler?”

“You mean your co-worker you always refer to as a man slut?” 

“Bitch, we’re trying to get the pussy wet, not a serious relationship.” 

“That’s a no.” 

You and Marie jumped, not expecting to hear Angel’s voice.

“Where did you even come from?”

“You setting her up?” Angel ignored Marie’s question. He was going to bug you for the name of that author you always raved about when you two were together, but he became intrigued when he caught the tail end of your tangent about his interests. It was endearing for him to hear that you still knew so much about him, but his mood soured when he heard Marie trying to set you up. “Tyler, the douche that always gets drunk out of his mind at the clubhouse?”

“Again, just trying to get her dry spell to end.”

“I volunteer.” Angel smirked.

“Not interested.” You replied as you turned to face Angel. “We talked about this, please, just respect my wishes. I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“Hate to break it to you querida, the library is public property, unless I’m disrupting the peace, I have every right to be here as much as you do.” Angel placed his chin on his hand, smiling sweetly at you. 

You grabbed the coffee and the box of donuts. “I’m going to take my break.” 

Your co-worker, Sienna took over the kiosk desk, Marie making her way over to Marie. She knew you needed some alone time. As she passed Angel, she patted his back.

“Give her space, don’t push it.” 

Angel wasted enough time. He knew you. It’s not that you didn’t want to be around him, you were just protecting your heart. He gave you five minutes before he followed after you, finding the trunk of your Toyota RAV4 opened. Walking over to you, he opened his mouth to speak, you beat him to it.

“Eugene, please, I’m on my break, I would appreciate it if you didn’t follow me.” Your day was starting to become shit since seeing Angel helped you realize that you weren’t over him. It’s been two years but due to his drunken escapades, it was hard for you to move on. 

“Who the fuck is Eugene?”

“No one.” You didn’t want to tell Angel about Eugene. It’s not like he would care, but you haven’t exactly told Angel about how your kindness to Eugene went from endearing to him becoming obsessive. “Can I help you?”

“I was going to take a smoke break then I saw your trunk open.” Angel shrugged, taking note of the name Eugene so he could ask Marie later. “Can I join you?”

“No, I’m done.” You closed the box of donut, picking up your drink as you stood up. 

“Come on, throw me a bone here. Can you give me a chance to explain?”

“Explain what exactly? Why you broke up with me? Why you kept me in your back pocket by being your go to house when you're drunk?”

“You gonna let me explain or are you gonna continue interrupting me?”

“I don’t care what you do, just please stay away from me. You’ve made your stance very clear two years ago. I don’t care why you came to me while you’re drunk, but it doesn’t matter. Don’t come to my job, don’t come to my apartment, just please stay away from me.”

“You don’t mean that.” Angel frowned. He didn’t expect things to go like this. Maybe he was an asshole or an idiot, but he expected you to welcome him with open arms.

“I do, I want to move on, build new relationships and be happy. I didn’t break your heart, I didn’t hurt you, if you don’t love me that’s fine. If you feel bad for what happened, you’re good, you’re forgiven.” You pressed the button that automatically closed your car. “I’m suffocating right? I’m too nice right? Then leave me alone.”

“You really just gonna walk away?”

You were about to answer Angel when you heard a familiar voice call out your name. Looking to where you heard the voice, you saw Jay, your ex-boyfriend. Angel cussed under his breath when he saw him. Jay was a sore subject for Angel. You two rarely spoke about Jay and it was mostly due to the fact that Angel never brought him up. When you did bring up Jay, it was a rare occurrence. It’s not that Angel didn’t care about your ex-boyfriend, in fact, he cared too much. Too many times he’s heard people spoke about how epic you and Jay were together. The perfect couple that would have stayed together if you decided to go with Jay to Germany. 

“Jay?” You hopped out of your trunk and was in disbelief. Jay, from what you knew, was still in Berlin, and wouldn’t be back for another three years. You kept in touch with him since you had a quite amicable break-up.

You two had dated for eight years before you two eventually parted ways. High school sweethearts, intended to last forever, but forever wasn’t a thing. You two broke up amicably and remained friends. It was hard not to be friends with a person you spent eight years of your life with. 

It was your ex-boyfriend. 

He couldn’t forget his name, he knew everything about the fucking guy. The first love, the one you would always love, that was the cliche, right? He remembered that he briefly met Jay before he left for Berlin once again. He was bringing you home after a catch up dinner with other friends and he saw just how your smile shone brightly around him. Jay was looking down at you, returning your smile as you animatedly spoke to him about something. You turned to face Angel and what he missed was how your smile changed, it was that smile specifically for your Angel. You had made your way towards him, wrapping your arms around him. Jay first met Angel then and much to your surprise, Jay took a liking to Angel, especially since he was a big fan of his Harley. Angel didn’t show much interest towards Jay, but you knew it bugged your then boyfriend how close you were to Jay.

Angel was not friends with any of his exes, but he also wasn’t with them for a long amount of time. If anything, you were his longest relationship. And seeing you react the way you did with Jay, he regretted it further that he let you go.

“Eugene is still coming here? You told me you handled that.” Jay was annoyed, you told him that you handled your too friendly library consumer. Jay stood at 6’4, 210 pounds, the Marines shaped him well. 

You looked at Angel and Jay did as well. 

“If you’re going to bother her when you’re drunk, you should at least get rid of her stalker.” Jay didn’t have a problem with Angel, but he knew Angel had a problem with him. He could see it when they first met. He couldn’t blame him, he rarely knew of exes that were friends, but Jay couldn’t exactly let you go. 

You two grew up together, you knew him best.

“Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are?” You saw how quickly Angel’s face turned sour and you knew you could have a fight in your hands.

“Aright, let’s not do anything crazy.” You got in between them, with you facing Angel. “We’re done.”

You locked your car before making your way inside the library once again, dragging Jay with you, and leaving Angel to his own devices. The broken look on your face, he wanted to take that away, especially since he caused it. He loves you, he really did, he was just an idiot. 

The fact that Jay was seemingly back in town, Angel had to make a move. 

And you should know better, Angel was anything but a quitter.

=================

Angel walked in the library and found you talking to one of your co-workers. He saw her nudge you and your eyes met. Quickly you looked away, shushing your co-worker. Angel took his usual spot opening the book he had borrowed earlier in the week. You weren’t surprised Angel burned through books, people counted him out due to his affiliates, but you knew better than to judge a book by its cover.

Jay hasn’t been back since he saw him two weeks prior. Angel frequented the library and never saw a sign of him. 

“You look beautiful Y/N.” Eugene, a regular at the library, complimented you. What started off as you being kind, feeling bad for a man who appeared to be a loner, was starting to make you feel uneasy. For the last three years, he progressively became bolder and you could tell that he was getting to the point where aggressive behavior was going to come out. Regardless of how nice you were, you always made sure he knew that you two were friends.

“Thank you Eugene.” You faked this small smile on your lips, but you didn’t want to provoke him. Sienna stayed beside you, she was more straightforward and had no problem telling Eugene to fuck off.

“Have you thought of my invitation for dinner tonight? My mother would love to meet you? I speak about you often with her.” The uneasiness at the pit of your stomach was unexplainable and Angel noticed the change on your face.

Sienna looked at you, her eyes slightly widening. She’s had enough of Eugene. It was small talk at first, but as of late, the man was beginning to be more bold. Starting with grabbing a drink or coffee, it evolved to having dinner at his place. You never entertained the idea and always let him down, but he wasn’t understanding.

“I’m sorry Eugene, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“Why not?” You saw how his face slightly scrunched up, his voice slightly raising. A few of the library patrons looked over before going back to their book. “Stop being such a tease and just go to my place.”

Both you and Sienna were appalled by his suggestion. You never teased him. 

“Excuse me? I’ve never done such a thing.”

“Oh please, with the skirts and dresses you wear, how do you expect anyone to not be teased by your clothing. Mother is right, you’re a slut, but no mind, I can repent you.”

Angel heard enough. You saw him from the corner of your eye. 

“Call security, I’ll handle Angel.” You walked out of the kiosk and intercepted Angel. 

“Let go of me, he’s not going to get away speaking to you like that.” The restrained tone in Angel’s voice made you nervous for Eugene. 

“Please, Angel.” The way you whispered his name with a plea, it made Angel sigh deeply, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he looked up at the ceiling. 

“Make sure he’s gone when we get back.” He instructed Sienna. You led him to the restricted area of the library which was situated at the back. Older books or original versions of books were kept here, with only employees having access and at times guests who were accompanied by employees. 

When you two were all the way at the back of the restricted area, you leaned against one of the bookshelves as Angel paced back and forth in front of you.

“How long has he been harassing you?” Angel questioned, continuing his pace.

“Angel.”

“How. Long.” He let out through gritted teeth. There was no argument. He let you take him away, you owed him this.

 You didn’t want to tell Angel, it didn’t matter anyway. All you knew was that you had to take care of this, he was making your anxiety spike up. “Three years.” 

“Three years?!” Angel’s voice echoed throughout the library. 

“Angel.” You hissed, keeping your voice low.

“Are you fucking kidding me? And you never told me?” Angel didn’t heed your warning. He was livid. How could you not tell him, especially while you two were together?

“Eugene is harmless.” He shot you a look and you sighed. “He was harmless.” You amended your statement. “Angel, please, it’s okay.”

“No the fuck is not, the way he spoke to you?” Angel felt his temper rise again. Fuck security, he would beat the idea in to Eugene that he was to never breathe the same air as you again. “Wait, Jay knew? And you didn’t tell me?”

You cussed under your breath. You accidentally told Jay about Eugene. He was FaceTiming you when Eugene came in after hours. You were able to shoo him away since Jay was on the phone. You never even thought of telling Angel, you didn’t want Angel to make a big deal out of it and you honestly thought you were reading too much into it. 

“I,” you sighed. “It wasn’t on purpose. Jay was FaceTiming me when Eugene walked in after hours.” 

“Did you have him pretend to be your boyfriend?” Angel knew he was being unreasonable, but it irked him that your ex-boyfriend knew about your stalker and he didn’t. He was the one who was in Santo Padre. He was the one who could deal with it. 

“No, Angel, it was years ago.”

“My fucking point exactly, it’s been years and you never told me. I was your boyfriend then, not him. How could you not tell me?”

“I don’t know, it was harmless, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing.”

“Out of nothing?” Angel exclaimed, shaking his head at your ridiculousness. “We’re gonna fucking talk after this, this should have never been an issue.”

Before he could leave, you blocked his way.

“Move.”

You shook your head. 

“Don’t act like I can’t just lift you out of the way.” 

You weren’t exactly the lightest, and hardly looked like any of Angel’s previous girlfriends. You had meat on your bones and some people may poke fun at your weight, but Angel always made you feel like a queen. He loved your curves, kissed and worshipped every part of your body. Well until he broke up with you.

“Angel, please, just stay with me.” You wrapped your arms around him and he wrapped his arms around you.

“No, he’ll never learn his lesson unless,” 

You cut Angel off by bringing his lips down to yours. Whenever Angel became irritated or upset, small touches or kisses from you would always calm his anger. You took a chance knowing Angel doesn’t exactly want you anymore, so you’re not sure what this would do for the situation, but you had to try. Angel immediately responded to your kiss, his hands cupping your face. One of his hands slid down to your neck, slightly moving you so you were against the bookshelves. His hand moved down, brushing against your breast causing you to moan. Angel’s tongue slipped in, deepening your kiss. He pressed you against the shelf, pulling away and pressing his forehead against yours. The anger that had overtook his body was gone, and was now replaced for a burning desire for you.

“You still taste so good.” Angel kissed you again, your back arching so your front was pressed against his front. One of his hands was sliding under your skirt, causing you to pull away.

“No Angel.” You shook your head, moving away from him to fix yourself. 

Angel groaned, his dick was hard and he was at a library with no means of relieving it. He thought of anything that could help his erection to go away, his third grade teacher who was horrific to him did the trick. Turning to face you, he found you looking around before you took his hand and led him further down the restricted area of the Santo Padre library. It was an old library, built by the Spaniards when they were doing their missions along California. Bringing him to the last row where you knew there was an entrance to the inventory the library had for the restricted section. You knew no one ever went in there till closing. You didn’t want Angel to do anything to you, but you could definitely help alleviate some of his anger. 

“Querida, where the fuck are we?” Angel looked around and the shelves were against the walls, a few shelves were in the middle of the room, otherwise, there were books everywhere. You led him to a desk that Sienna used to organize the unlabeled books. You pushed Angel down onto the office chair. He watched as you sunk to your knees, your eyes focused on unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. “Hey, you don’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I want to.” You lifted your eyes to meet his and the softness in his eyes was such a stark contrast from earlier where they were dark, anger obviously apparent. Now, it was adoration and lust that clouded his iris. You tugged on his jeans, which Angel assisted you with, lifting himself up so you could pull down his jeans and boxers. Smirking, you wrapped your hand around his semi-hard cock, using some of his pre-cum to help your hand glide down with ease. Angel groaned, leaning his head back. It was his weakness, watching your beautiful lips around his cock, trying to take in as much of his cock, he was a goner whenever you did that. The way your eyes would water, your cheeks hallowed, your mouth full of him, the image alone could make him cum. But he always held back, letting himself enjoy you. 

“Fuck, look at you mi sol,” he watched as you spat down on his cock, holding his thick member with one hand. Placing a kiss on the tip of his cock, you looked up at Angel as you opened your mouth to take him in. Just as he taught you, you took Angel until you could not take any of him anymore, moving your head back up, his cock sheath with your saliva. You took him in your mouth once more, Angel gathering your hair in one hand. He loved your eyes on him. Those hooded eyes under those thick black rimmed glasses of yours. You move your mouth up and down his cock, hollowing your cheeks and swallowing around him whenever his tip reaches your gag reflex. You let go of him with a pop, your hand replacing your mouth. “That’s right baby, take your dick and let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours.” Angel tried not to lose himself with you, but any part of you that was connected always felt so good for him. He didn’t know what it was but everything he did with you was a hundred times more intense when compared to others.

Placing two hands on his cock, you had your mouth on the tip of his cock, running your tongue over and over again over Angel’s sensitive cock. He moaned out your name, gripping your hair tighter. You were licking his cock like it was a tootsie roll lollipop and you were trying to get to the center. You moved so that your tongue was moving up and down his shaft, getting to the top and engulfing his tip with your mouth. Angel groaned, throwing his head back, licking his lips as you continued to bob your head up and down. His hand assisted you, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat, swallowing around it.

“Holy fuck princesa, keep going I’m about to cum.” Angel moaned. “You want me to cum in your mouth baby? You gonna swallow daddy’s cum?”

You chose not to answer and continued your ministrations. Just as you felt Angel’s cock pulsing in your mouth, you pulled away, placing a kiss on his cock. Angel slammed his hand on the desk, grabbing your hair. 

“You really want to play with daddy?” His face was so close to you, your hand still around his cock. You tightened your hold, moving your hand up and down causing Angel to close his eyes. He moaned out your name, further dampening your panties. “Put your mouth back on my cock so I can fuck that pretty little mouth of yours.” 

You followed Angel’s instructions, taking him back in your mouth. Angel began to thrust up in your mouth, tears forming in your eyes as he moved in and out of your mouth. Your hands rested on Angel’s thighs, your nails digging into his skin. He chanted your name before he came in your mouth, holding your head against him. You swallowed some of his cum, keeping some of it in your mouth. He let go of your hair, saying how much of a good girl you were for swallowing daddy’s cum. His cock was still semi-erect and you smirked, dropping some of his cum on his cock, making Angel groan as he felt himself hardened again at the sight of you using his cum as lubrication, moving your hand up and down once again. 

“God, my dirty little librarian.” Angel always fantasized doing numerous things with you in the library. You weren’t opposed to it, but Angel hardly came to pick you up from your work. And now, Angel regretted that.

You placed a sweet little kiss at the tip of his cock before you stood up. 

“Stay here, I’ll get you some paper towels.” He grabbed your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Let me make you feel good.” Angel smirked when he saw your breast just calling to him. You balanced yourself on the arm rest of the arm chair. Your dress was sinful since it was this black cami dress that you usually wore a cardigan with. He knew without that cardigan, all those fuckers that pretend to go to the library for books would be staring straight at your ample breast. And even though you were wearing leggings under, the imagination was running wild. “Where the fuck is your cardigan?” He hated how your breasts were just out in the open, even though your dress did cover your cleavage well, Angel had fucked you too many times in this dress, pulling the top down, watching as your breast bounced up and down as he fucked you.

“No, it’s okay, I just wanted to make you feel good.” In reality, you were ashamed you let this happen. For two years, you did nothing with Angel besides cuddling and now you not only kissed him but you gave him a blowjob. The only reason you did it was because seeing how protective he became over you, it made your heart melt. “I left it on my chair.” You bit back a moan as Angel grabbed your breast.

“What did daddy say about this dress?” He pushed one of your straps down, licking his lips as his eyes focused on your beautiful skin, calling him to mark it. 

“Angel,” you whimpered as he pulled a part of your dress down, your naked breast immediately greeting him. 

“Where the fuck is your bra?”

“It has a built in one.” 

Angel wrapped his hand around your throat, making you look at him. He growled, squeezing your breast, taking your nipples in between his fingers.

“I’m gonna ask you one more fucking time, what did daddy say about this dress.”

“Not to wear it unless you’re with me.” You gave in and you couldn’t even be angry. Angel was doing a number on you. But you had to snap out of it, pleasuring him was one thing, but you didn’t want to go back there with Angel. “But we’re no longer together.” You moved away, fixing yourself. You were so wet, but you couldn’t give in to Angel.

“I can change that.”

“I’ll meet you at the kiosk desk.”

When Angel eventually joined you at the kiosk desk, you were surprised when he sat right beside you. Sienna threw you a smirk before finishing a few things around the library since you were set to close in forty-five minutes. Eugene was escorted off of the property, but you knew he would be back. You should really be more stern with Eugene, but at the same time you knew he found solace in the library since it was his time away from his mother. 

You were organizing a few things at your desk, trying your best to avoid Angel and making yourself look busy. His eyes were on you, you could feel them. 

“We’re closing soon, you should go.” Boundaries, you shouted that in your head. Boundaries. You had to set up boundaries or you would be in this endless loop with Angel. There was no future between you two, there was no point of prolonging the inevitable.

“I’ll wait just in case he’s waiting for you outside.” Angel’s voice was strained. You knew he was upset about your comment earlier.

“He won’t be, this isn’t some crime drama.” You tried to lighten the mood, but that seemed to upset Angel further. “I’ll be safe, I promise.”

He leaned in, so only you could hear his words. “Stop it, I’m not leaving you, I’m going to make sure you’re fucking safe. You chose to hide this from me for years and now that I’m in the know, you’re not going to be a fucking statistic.” He took the cardigan that was resting on your chair, and placed it over you. “Wear your fucking cardigan. You think just because we’re not together you’re no longer mine?” Angel chuckled. “You’ll always be mine, you can fight it all you want, but you shouldn’t fight the inevitable.”

“I’m not yours, there’s no fighting anything. We’re not together and it’ll remain that way.” You moved away from him, focusing your eyes on the computer in front of you once more.

The library was finally closed and as Angel promised, he remained by your side. You stood up gathering your things and you saw Sienna making her way towards the door.

“Hey! Are we still meeting at that new Thai place?” 

Sienna was about to confirm your plans when Angel shook his head behind you. She refrained from smiling and shook her head.

“Sorry babe, my man just texted me. He’s having some technical difficulties at home. Rain check?” 

“Sure.” You smiled and waved her goodbye. You could feel Angel behind you, his heat was just radiating. “Hey, so, I have to do inventory. You can sweep the parking lot to see if he’s there, but otherwise, we’re good. Thanks again for standing up for me.” You didn’t want to face Angel, you were nervous about what you would see. Resisting Angel was difficult and you just had so much willpower left. You never felt your dry spell, it never bothered you, until today. Now you really had to get laid.

You felt Angel box you in, his front against your back. You felt his hot breath against your skin. “Are the cameras on?”

“Huh?” Being in such close proximity to Angel, you wanted to close your eyes, bask in the feeling, but you have to set up boundaries. 

“Are the cameras on?” Angel repeated his question.

“No, Sienna turns them off, only the outside cameras are on.” 

“Good.” Angel placed his hand on your breast, grabbing it through your dress. Placing your hand on top of his, you incidentally intertwined your hands, with your hand on top of his as his other hand slid down your dress starting from your chest down to your abdomen and under your dress, pulling down your leggings. You felt him smile against your ear when he felt just how dampen your panties were. “You’re so wet, is this all for daddy?” 

You whimpered when you felt Angel press against your clothed pearl. He squeezed your breast making you let out another whimper. “I didn’t hear an answer.”

“Yes daddy.” Your other hand grabbed Angel’s before he could move your underwear to the side. “Angel, let’s not do this.” Your mind screamed boundaries while your heart said fuck it. 

“Why baby, you let someone else touch my pussy?” Angel swatted your hand, slipping his fingers under your panties. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, stretch out this pussy.”

Your phone began to ring and you immediately grabbed it. It was Jay, your ex-boyfriend. Angel saw the name and growled out your name. 

“If you answer, I’m gonna make sure to make you come while he’s talking to you.” Jay was a sore spot for Angel. He was your high school sweetheart. The one that supposedly got away. Fuck that, Angel refused to acknowledge that. Jay was a part of your past, one he never wanted to address since he made him feel even more insecure about your relationship. 

Angel ran a finger up and down your slit, slipping it past your entrance shallowly, moving his finger tip in and out. It was just enough for you to feel him, but not enough.

You let your phone ring, focused on the sensations or lack thereof that Angel was providing.

“You want my finger all the way, so you can feel my rings against that pussy?”

You nodded your head, loving the feel of Angel’s hand against yours. His hands were always so fucking big, it made yours feel small.

“Naw, I know you got a voice,” he kissed your ear, nipping at it. “Fucking use it.”

“Yes, please daddy.” You begged.

Angel chuckled lowly and slipped his finger further in, adding a second finger. “Tight as always, no one touched you baby?” His thumb landed on your throbbing pearl, tapping it.

“No daddy, just me.” You didn’t want to disclose with Angel that Marie’s words were true about your dry spell. You felt him add a third finger and you threw your head back, your head landing on Angel’s shoulder. 

Angel wrapped a hand on your throat, chastely kissing your cheek. He kept his lips on your cheek, his breath against your skin further turning you on. 

“Did you use that toy I got you?” He questioned. He was rubbing his clothes erection against your back, the friction was amazing, but you knew it would be so much better when it was his bare skin against yours.

“Yes daddy, I did.” You were clenching Angel’s fingers, his fingers tightening around your throat. 

Just as Angel was about to unzip his jeans to slide on home, the door opened. You tried to move away from Angel, but all he did was fix your dress and kept you pressed against him. Jay looked at you, the swollen lips, the disheveled state and the smug look on Angel’s face gave it away. 

“Was I interrupting?” Jay questioned, walking further inside the library.

“No.” 

“Yes.”

You and Angel answered at the same time. He looked down at you, but you kept your eyes on Jay.

“You said you wouldn’t be back till next week.” You really wished Jay didn’t come, but at the same time you were glad he came. You were going to cave to Angel and that was the last thing you wanted to do.

“I decided to surprise you.” Jay leaned against the kiosk desk once he arrived, smirking. “You could have continued Reyes, I don’t mind watching.” The smugness on Jay’s face irritated Angel. 

You sighed and pushed Angel out of the kiosk desk. “Go home Angel.”

“I’m not leaving you with this guy.” Angel stood his ground. Jay wasn’t your man, and he never would be again. 

“She’s safe with me, go back to your little club, fix bikes, fuck bitches, and sell drugs.” Jay knew what the Mayans were, he’s had his fair share of run ins with them over the years. He was friends with Neron, a gym buddy of his you could say and he served time with Johnny in the Marines. 

“Jay!” You hissed.

Angel just smirked and shook his head. Jay wasn’t worth it, not yet at least.

“I’ll see you later querida.” He brushed past Jay. It took every fiber in his body to not knock him out.

There was a time and place.

His main goal right now was to get you back. You two had plenty to talk about and Angel planned on discussing things with you. He wasn’t going to let Jay weasel his way back in, especially since he may never let you go again.

Angel understood he fucked up.

He made a hasty decision.

But, it was a new year.

It’s 2020. 

A brand new decade. 

Your past grievances could be left behind in 2019.

Valentine’s Day was around the corner and he was determined to spend it with you.

Angel was more determined to win you back. That kiss, he knew he wasn’t the only one who felt that undeniable spark between you two. And the sexual encounters you two just had, it left Angel wanting more, as he always had.

But he had to take care of Eugene and then Jay.

=================

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[crushed-like-an-ant]

how to calm down an angry billionaire

Step 1. Deflect.

Peter was good at deflection. Always had been. It was a skill he'd picked up after people constantly tried to ask him about his feelings after his parents died, then again when Ben died. Any questions he didn't want to answer quickly turned into an animated conversation about whatever his mind thought of first (there had been that awkward time he'd asked a fellow orphan how their parents were), an apology and fast excuse to get the hell out of there (mostly worked except when he was panicking and the best he could come up with was a cheese making competition, that had caused a lot of questions Peter would rather never deal with again), or just flat out running away (sometimes he ran into poles or walls which was always a bit embarrassing given he was literally Spider-man). Sometimes Peter had to use all three options. So Peter knew when Tony finally decided to have the dreaded conversation about the whole not-my-first-time-holding-up-a-building thing, he would be able to deflect it. Or so he thought. Turns out, Peter had drastically underestimated the sheer stubbornness of Tony Stark.

It was a lab day, around three weeks after the incident where Peter and Tony had been stuck under a building and Peter stupidly let slip that he’d held up a building before. Peter had thought Tony had forgotten about his words. He was comfortable, tentatively confident and optimistic that it wouldn't be brought up again. He had no idea how wrong he was.

"Hey kid?" Tony said, cutting the comfortable silence between them as they worked, tone slightly hesitant. Peter should've picked up on it. He should've realised. But he'd grown complacent. So Peter ignored the dread pooling in his stomach and lifted his head from the mess of wires in front of him to look at Tony.

"Mr Stark?" he replied with a smile that Tony didn't return. Nor did he try to tell Peter to call him Tony. And that was how Peter knew something was wrong. Nerves skittered down his spine, clod fingers of dread snaking around his neck as nervous energy filled him and he began to tap on the desk. Anything to distract himself from the sorrow and worry shining in his mentor's brown eyes.

"Look kid, uh, I," Tony fumbled for words. Shit. This was bad. If Tony Stark was struggling to say something, you knew it was serious. Peter just stared at him in silence,unsure of what to say, anxiety coursing through his veins at the grimace that clouded Tony's features. What could possibly have gotten him into this mood? Had Peter done something wrong? Was he gonna, oh god, was he gonna take the suit? "Pete, I need to know what you meant when we were under the building," Tony finally managed to say, Peter relaxing. Oh. That was all?

"I just meant that I'd lifted a lot of heavy things," Peter half-lied, looking Tony straight in the eyes and lying to his face, mindful to make sure his tells were carefully under control. Training with Daredevil - despite Tony's misgivings about Double D - had been one of the best decisions Peter had ever made. He felt a twinge of guilt as he lied to Tony but it's not like he could tell the truth. And he wasn't really lying. Just withholding the entire truth. He shrugged nonchalantly, "Anyways, you reckon you can help me with this? I'm stuck. My mind kinda decided to go and die on me." Peter chuckled quietly. Tony wasn't laughing.

"I want to believe you, kid," Tony told him, "I really do. But I can't. You had a panic attack under there. What aren't you telling me Peter? Whatever it is, I'm here for you. You can tell me anything. And I don't want to pressure you into telling me anything until you're ready but I-I just-I need to know what happened. I need to know what you meant." Peter's resolve almost broke as Tony's voice broke. No. He couldn't tell Tony. Not only would Tony think he was weak, but Peter knew that Mr Stark would blame himself because he took the suit. Peter couldn't let him do that. Option one had failed him, so it was onto option 2. Make a quick exit without raising any suspicions. Yeah, he didn't think that was gonna work. Worth a shot though.

"Hey, Mr Stark," Peter said after checking his watch and pretending to look shocked at the time, "I'm really sorry but I have to go. I promised Ned we'd work on our Bio project tonight and I'm already seven minutes late." Mr Stark raised an eyebrow and pulled up a picture of Ned on his holiday in California.

"Nice try kid," Tony replied drily. Peter sighed, shoulders slumping. Time for option three then.

"I-I don't really know how to tell you, uh," Peter deliberately stuttered, guilt eating him up inside as he put on an act for Tony. For option three to work, Peter had to catch Tony off guard otherwise he'd react too quickly and lock the tower down. His act work, Tony's features softening and body relaxing.

"It's okay, bambino, take your time." And if that didn't make him feel like a horrible person, nothing would. Peter stood and padded over to some machinery near the exit, pretending to be trying to busy himself as he worked himself up to answering Tony when he was actually getting closer to the door.

"I, uh," Peter stumbled. Tony was now far away enough that Peter could easily run without being grabbed and stopped. The door was right there. Peter took his opportunity. He ran. Out the door, down the hallway, flying to the elevator. Pressing the button frantically, Peter groaned when nothing happened. Great. Tony had stopped the elevators. Sighing, Peter pulled the mask from his pocket and pulled it over his head, sprinting at the window. Peter burst through the window in a shower of glass, activating his web shooters as he fell, quickly shooting a web and catching himself. And he was swinging, swinging, swinging. Allowing himself to smile at his escape, Peter was unprepared when he was grabbed from behind by two cold metal hands. Thanks for nothing spidey sense. Tony flew a sulking Peter back through the broken window and into one of the meeting rooms, setting him down firmly in a seat. Peter crossed his arms, pouting as he pulled off his mask, Tony's Iron Man suit unfolding around him and the man stepping out, an unimpressed look painted across his features.

"You done deflecting yet?" Tony asked, a single eyebrow raised. Damn. Peter wished he could do that. Alas, no amount of practising in front of a mirror had ever given him the talent to lift one eyebrow and not look like a demented monkey. Time for a different strategy. Deflection had failed him. But Peter would not go down easy.

~~~

Step 2. Deny.

The unfortunate thing about this step was that Peter would always over-deny. He would deny everything or nothing. There was no in between. For example, he was once denying eating the last bit of chocolate and ended up accidentally telling May his name wasn't Peter and that he was an alien from outer space with a severe lettuce allergy. Don't ask. Peter really didn't want to relive that trauma. So although Peter always tried his best with denial, it never really worked out in his favour. Honestly, it was through sheer dumb luck that he managed to keep Spider-Man a secret from his friends and family for so long. It was probably some good karma that had been waiting for the perfect moment to help him out. It was a little late but hey, better late than never right?

"No," Peter blurted in a panic. Shock splashed across Tony's face as he folded his arms.

"Kid, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Tony told him gently.

"No," Peter exclaimed again, hurt painting the billionaire's face. "I mean, yes." Shitshitshitshitshit. Peter was an idiot. He had to deny everything - but not everything, Peter, remember the lettuce incident - so Mr Stark wouldn't find out. But Peter had always been shit at denial.

"Look, I know this is probably hard for you to talk about," Tony continued on, oblivious to Peter's internal panic, "but I won't judge you. I love you, bambino. You know that right? And I'll support you no matter what but I can't help you if you don't let me."

"No," Peter said. It was the only word he knew. Any more and he would have another lettuce incident or he'd end up rambling the truth. He couldn't do that. So his current vocabulary was limited to 'no', 'no', 'no' with a side of 'no'. Which wasn't suspicious at all. Totally.

"What the hell, kid?" Tony asked, mostly confused, slight irritation colouring his tone. Peter was hyper-aware of the thundering beat his heart was drumming to, the way Tony's slightly picked up when he said 'no', the sweat covering his body like a second skin. Tony's sigh sounded like a bomb to his sensitive ears, the sharp intake of breath before he spoke like a blaring alarm. "What did you mean when you said it wasn't your first time?"

"I didn't," Peter responded, brain not quite computing, "nothing happened." Tony's gaze narrowed. Shit. Was Tony going to take the suit if he didn't tell him? But Peter just couldn't tell him. He couldn't.

"Fucking hell Peter, just tell me dammit!" Tony exclaimed, running a hand through his messy brown hair in frustration. Peter knew - with the certainty that he knew his own name or the colour of his eyes - that denial had failed him. Time for Peter's next strategy.

~~~

Step 3. Stretch the truth.

When Peter's other strategies failed him, he turned to stretching the truth. It was simple really, just take the truth and dial it down from boiling hot to freezing cold and give it to the person on a silver platter with a charmingly innocent - and only slightly nervous - smile. Half-truths were easy to fool people with. Someone had said that the best lies were the ones based on truth. Peter couldn't remember who exactly had said that. He had never been very good with that sort of stuff, unlike MJ. So although stretching the truth was Peter's third option, he'd always been surprisingly good at it. People seemed to believe he was too innocent to be able to lie. Which was absurd because he'd spent ten years living with his Aunt and her terrible cooking and she still didn't know he hated her walnut date loaf.

"Okay," Peter conceded quietly and the rage slowly left Tony as he deflated like a balloon, looking smaller without all the fury. Peter sat down in front of Tony. "It was back in the fight with The Vulture and he threw a wall at me. I caught it and threw it back at him but he dodged it with his super awesome flying skills." Tony looked him straight in the eyes for a few seconds, Peter holding his gaze before Tony leaned forward.

"Cut the bullshit," Tony whispered, dangerously quiet, tightly compressed anger stemming from worry swimming in his brown eyes. "A wall wouldn't stay together if it was thrown, caught and thrown back. Even then, you wouldn't say it wasn't your first time while holding a building up unless you'd held up a fucking building already. And you wouldn't have a panic attack from holding up a building about something thrown at you. So stop lying to me, Peter Benjamin Parker." Damn. The full name. Peter released a heavy exhale, knowing he was beaten. He had to tell Mr Stark the truth.

"It actually was in the fight with the Vulture," Peter began, "so I wasn't lying about that. And I did have to catch a few walls." Tony raised his eyebrows at Peter's weak attempts at defending himself. "I went to his warehouse and he sent his flying suit at me. It wasn't particularly good at attacking 'cause it hadn't even touched me. I said that and Toomes told me it wasn't trying to." Tony inhaled sharply, clasping his hands together to stop them from shaking, Peter trying not to listen to how Tony's hands still hit each other gently. Enhanced hearing sucked sometimes. "He had directed the suit to take out all the supports in the building." Tony gasped, expression contorted into one of such extreme guilt and sorrow that Peter wanted to shelter Tony from the world for the rest of his days because goddammit he's seen too much and been through enough and couldn't the world just give him a fucking break for once? No one deserved one more than Mr Stark did.

"I took the suit," Tony whispered, voice thick with emotion, "I took the suit. It was your only protection, damn it, and I took the fucking suit!" Tony was yelling now, self-hatred and rage dancing in his wild brown eyes.

"It wasn't your fault, Mr Stark," Peter tried to tell him.

"How?" Tony scoffed, laughing bitterly, "How was this not my fault. I took the suit and you got hurt because of my mistake."

"It's okay, Mr Stark, you didn't know," Peter said.

"But I should've," Tony replied, "I should've known." Peter's features hardened, spine turning to steel. He wouldn't let Mr Stark blame himself for this. The blame was on Toomes and only on Toomes.

"Did you pilot the Vulture suit?" Peter asked firmly.

"What?"

"Did. You. Pilot. The. Vulture. Suit." Peter repeated, staring defiantly at Tony.

"No, of course not," Tony replied, slight confusion clinging to his features.

"And did you cause the building to fall?" he continued.

"No."

"Then it's not your fault," Peter told him simply.

"Kid, I shouldn't have taken the suit," Tony began, dropping his head into his hands. He opened his mouth to continue but Peter cut him off before he could say anything equally self-deprecating.

"Maybe," Peter allowed, "but then I wouldn't found out I was strong enough to get back up again. 'If you're nothing without the suit then you shouldn't have it'. You told me that. I thought the suit made Spider-man and I lost sight of what Spider-man really meant. God, I started out in a fricking onesie. That's what Spider-man represents. Not a hero with a multi-million dollar suit, but someone with nothing but their will to save others. Without you taking the suit, I never would've remembered everything Spider-man stood for.; With great power comes great responsibility. You gave me that tough love moment and I needed it. Now it's my turn to dish out some tough love for you." Peter took a deep breath. "You, Tony Stark, are being a fucking idiot. The blame of what happened in the past lies with Adrian Toomes, and Adrian Toomes alone. So stop this self-deprecating bullshit and use your fucking brain for once in your life. It. Was. Not. Your. Fault." Tony looked up at him, the self-hatred drained from his features, a slight smile adorning his lips which Peter returned.

"You're right, kid," Tony said, "when did you get this wise?"

"I've always been this wise, Mr Stark, I just wanted you to feel better about your lack of common sense," Peter joked, Tony chuckling.

"It wasn't my fault," Tony repeated. Peter tilted his head, confused at the strange undertone in Tony's voice only to see a fire lit in his caramel eyes. "I'm going to kill that son of a bitch."

And it was then that he knew he fucked up.

~~~

Step 4. Try some breathing exercises.

Peter had always been shit at breathing exercise. He just didn't have the patience for them. While he was breathing, someone could be getting raped in an alley, a shop could be getting robbed, or a kid could be getting beat up. So - despite the constant reminders to just try the damn breathing exercises for the love of god - Peter had never done anything of the sort. How could he? With his enhanced senses, it was impossible to relax. Would you be able to sit there and breathe while screams rang in your ears and sobbing pounded in your mind? Naturally, this meant that Peter wasn't the most experienced when it came to said breathing exercises. Maybe he should've practised. Life always had a funny way of throwing Peter in the deep end headfirst and tied to a ten ton weight and expecting him to swim. However, he had once read in a self-help book that breathing exercises were good for calming people down, so he decided to hit fuck it for the sixth time in the last 48 hours and try it out. I mean, it was that or release an angry billionaire in a metal suit decked out with the most advanced weapons in the world (except for maybe what HYDRA had because honestly Peter knew better than to underestimate them and he mildly respected their cockroach-like survival skills) who was hell-bent on revenge and gave zero fucks into the world. The second option was beginning to sound quite tempting, Peter would be honest.

"Mr Stark, you need to calm down," Peter told the man gently, placing a hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony tilted his head up to look at Peter - rage splashed across his face, tension lining his body - before he shrugged off Peter's hand and jerked into a standing position. And the room was suffocating, suffocating, suffocating, because damn had Tony always been that scary. A cloud of darkness surrounded Tony, filling the lab up and winding itself slowly around Peter's neck, stealing the breath from his lungs. Tony stormed through the lab, footsteps like thunder, anger crackling like lightning. Desperately, Peter followed the billionaire. "Mr Stark, Mr Stark, please calm down," Peter pleaded with him.

"No," Tony spoke, voice cold and flat, tone totally devoid of emotion, so totally opposite to the fury painting his entire body like a second skin. "No I will not calm down, Peter. He dropped a fucking building on you. He deserves to die."

"But you don't deserve to live with the guilt of killing him," Peter begged, tugging at Tony's sleeve in a desperate attempt to stop the man from his warpath. Peter knew he could easily overpower Tony. But he was hoping it wouldn't come to that. "Trust me, I know how it feels to want revenge, I really do, but you have to let it go. Please, Mr Stark."

"Dammit Peter, he hurt you!" Tony shouted, whirling around to face Peter, features twisted and manically furious. "He hurt you a-and I wasn't there and you had to deal with being crushed by a fucking building and then you got up and kept fighting because of that sick son of a bitch so I swear to fucking god I will murder him." Tony's eyes held a frenzied wildness in them, chest heaving up and down, Peter could hear his heart racing.

"Mr Stark, try some breathing," Peter said out of desperation, completely and utterly out of ideas. "Just breath. In and out, in and out." Tony's momentary surprise shocked him out of his anger, confusion flickering across his face momentarily before the anger was back, stronger than ever. Tony pivoted on his heel and walked away from Peter, heading towards where he kept his suits and leaving a heavy sense of dread pooling in Peter's stomach and twisting his insides in knots. So breathing hadn't worked. Thanks for nothing self-help books.

~~~

Step 5. Hack the most advanced AI in the world.

When in doubt, do something potentially illegal. A mugger had once told Peter that after Peter caught her trying to rob a young man. That lady had been fucking badass. It was honestly a shame she's gone to prison but a criminal is a criminal. Turns out the lady had been responsible for a string of high-end bank and jewellery robberies. Peter wondered how she was doing. Probably not well, considering how shit the American jail system is. Peter always tried to find alternative ways to stop criminals, only really sending in the pedophiles, rapists, murderers and the more professional robbers. Sometimes people had no choice in the shitty hand life had dealt them and goddamn if Peter didn't get that. People were just pushed and pushed until they were left with nothing but desperation. Maybe if the government or any of the fucking American systems were better or did their jobs properly then people wouldn't have to steal just to keep themselves and their families from starvation. Maybe Toomes wouldn't have started his alien tech business and then none of this would have even happened. Peter wouldn't be in this situation right now. And Peter was now out of options. He had an angry billionaire on his hands and absolutely no idea what to do. So, he took the lady's advice and decided to do something potentially illegal. He hacked the most advance AI in the world. (What, like it's hard?)

"Hey FRI?" Peter called with a wince.

"Yes, Peter," the AI replied.

"I'm really sorry," Peter told her before bringing up FRIDAY's code. (A/N - I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT COMPUTERS SO THIS IS GONNA BE SOME VAGUE, QUESTIONABLE AF HACKING) Fingers flying across the keys of the laptop, Peter bit his lip in concentration, brows furrowed. He had to hurry and shut down Mr Stark's suits before he reached them and left to murder Toomes. Adrenaline coursed through his body, brain whirring to life like the computer before him as he deleted lines of code, rewriting and altering the code that created FRIDAY as he tore down the firewalls Mr Stark had built. Peter vaguely registered that this was probably illegal and that Mr Stark would most definitely be mad about this later but he quickly waved the thoughts away. He didn't have time for them, he didn't have time, he didn't have time. Barely registering what he was doing, Peter submerged himself into the world of numbers, immersing himself completely in the ocean of lines of code, fingers instinctively knowing what t do as though he'd been born to hack. Again, probably not a great thing that this was so easy. But computers had always made sense to Peter. After what felt like hours but was really only a few minutes, Peter was into FRIDAY's system. And with a few taps, Peter shut down the suits. Quickly exiting the browser, Peter dropped his head into his hands. He'd done it. With a long exhale, Peter relaxed, leaning back into his chair and running his shaking hands through his hair. An enraged roar broke the peaceful quiet surrounding Peter and he squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe if he ignored it, Mr Stark's anger would go away. He couldn't deal with this shit. Peter was too young to die.

"Peter Benjamin Parker I swear to fucking god-"

"You probably shouldn't fuck god, Mr Stark," Peter couldn't resist remarking with a shit-eating grin. "People might get a bit mad. And who knows, you may even end up pregnant which I can't imagine will be very fun."

"What the fuck?" Tony whispered into the silence that followed Peter's statement. "I don't even want to know what goes on in your brain." Peter hummed in agreement. To be honest, he had no idea what was going on up there half the time. He was just along for the ride. And hey, if it distracted Mr Stark from his anger then it was a win win situation right? (How Peter won in this scenario he didn't know but he didn't question it).

"It's the trauma," Peter replied flippantly, as casual as one would be if they were discussing the weather.

"The-" Tony broke off into angry, confused gibberish that Peter didn't even try to decipher. Crisis averted. Now to deal with the aftermath.

~~~

Step 6. Watch a movie.

Peter Parker wasn't good with emotions. Being a socially awkward sixteen-year-old genius had that effect on a person. Not to mention the fact that he had a crime-fighting, sarcastic alter ego. Yeah, he wasn't great with feelings. Especially not his own. And now he was attempting to help Mr Stark clam down after the whole Toomes-dropping-a-building-on-him-reveal thing. And the only way an emotionally stunted teenage genius superhero knew how to help an emotionally stunted adult genius superhero was something most people would not class as a healthy coping mechanism. Distraction. Preferably with a movie.

"Hey Mr Stark, wanna watch Empire Strikes Back?" Peter asked. Tony fell into a confused silence which Peter took as an agreement. "Yes? Perfect, let's go." Grabbing Tony's arm, Peter tugged him out of the lab and into the elevator, confusion splashed across Tony's features as they entered the movie room. Peter dropped onto the expensive yet incredibly comfortable couch in the centre of the room, pulling Tony down beside him. "Hey FRI? Can you please play The Empire Strikes Back."

"Certainly, Peter," FRIDAY replied, a hint of warmth in her robotic voice. The Star Wars theme filled the room, Peter lips kicking up into a smile at the familiar sound. And as the movie played, Peter reciting every single line with the characters, he felt the rage and tension slowly drain out of his mentor as he relaxed.

"Hey, kid," Tony whispered, interrupting Luke and Darth Vader's showdown. "I sorry for getting angry. I just... I just didn't know what to do. Instead of asking if you were okay I blamed myself and wanted to frigging murder a guy who's already suffering in prison."

"It's okay, Mr Stark," Peter responded with a smile, sincerity gracing his tone. "I get it. After Ben died, I found his murderer. I almost killed the guy," Peter chuckled without humour, Tony watching him with sad eyes, the movie forgotten. "Point is, I know how it feels to want revenge. Don't apologise for being human."

"You really are the best of us all, kid," Tony remarked, a smile adoring his face, features relaxed as he looked at Peter.

"I learned from the best," Peter replied with a shrug.

"Thanks, kid," Tony said, throat tight with emotion.

"I meant May," Peter joked lightly, the heavy emotion clouding the room vanishing as Tony laughed.

"Are you okay, kid?" Tony asked, seriousness settling over them again.

"Honestly?" Peter responded, "no. But that's alright. Because I will be." Peter held Tony's gaze, warmth blossoming in his chest at his mentor's caring eyes, as Darth Vader's voice filled the room.

"No, I am your father," Darth Vader spoke. Peter turned back to the movie, watching as Luke jumped and fell.

"You're gonna be okay, kid," Tony whispered, "we're both gonna be okay."

Because Peter would be okay. So Tony was okay too.

And if Pepper walked in three hours later to find them curled up against each other, fast asleep she never said anything. (She got FRIDAY to take a photo and saved it to Irondad and Spiderson - an unsurprisingly large file. She should probably get Peter to do a DNA test. They did look rather similar)

[id0ntkn0w0101]

How to Plan a Book for Spontaneous Overthinkers - Planning/Writing Tools

Heads-up: This post is a long boi. So I'll start by saying that I am not a published author. However, I have been writing for as long as I can remember and in the past 5 years or so have started taking it much more seriously. After 3 failed Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month Challenge) attempts and countless others on my own time, I think I have figured out the best way for me to plan my stories in a way that gives me a set plan without causing me to overthink about planning so writing isn't boring. This first post is literally just on tools I like to use.

Planning Tools

Seeing as how writing is a creative art, a lot of it is left to opinion. So here are my tastes, opinions, and suggestions for writing tools.

Find a Writing Tool You Enjoy: For me this has historically been a typewriter, a fountain pen and a nice sturdy hardcover notebook, or a dip glass pen and ink with a faux weathered journal I got on amazon. For some you may just prefer typing it out on a computer or using a ballpoint pen and a notebook.

If you like typing stuff out on a computer... Google Docs and LibreOffice are my go-tos if you just want a standard writing experience. Google Docs is one you most likely know and lets you store everything in the cloud, but I've noticed it makes my computer run a little slowly and I've had saving issues on multiple occasions since it doesn't have a manual save feature. LibreOffice, on the other hand, is an open-source dupe for Microsoft Office that is completely free, has more features than Google Docs, and lets you manually save. Plus, you'll never have any issues with your Wi-Fi going out and not being able to access your files. If you like being able to do a mix of typing and handwriting, I recommend using OneNote. Despite it being a Microsoft app, it's free and cross-compatible with mobile devices and computers (you do have to manually sync your notebooks sometimes). However, if you use an art tablet with your computer or just a standard touch-screen tablet and a stylus, you can sketch, handwrite, and type all in the same document easily. I use OneNote for most of my planning.

If you like unique or old-fashioned writing tools... Glass or metal dip pens are a fun choice. You do have to do some personal research though based on how you want to write though. For example, I bought a glass dip pen because it had a little bit of a scratchier vibe that I enjoyed and was also better suited for writing in cursive and drawing little doodles when my brain needed a writing break. I got mine on amazon and the brand is called "Freedom of the Starry Sky" It came with a beautiful ink, a carrying case, and a little glass stand to rest the pen on. I don't have any specific recommendations for metal dip pens however. If you want an ink recommendation, however, I use and love the Windsor & Newton Black India Ink, which I got on amazon for about $7. It's great, and its water based so all you have to do to clean the residue off your pen is let it sit in some warm water for a minute and wipe it off.

If you want a typewriter... I am very autistic and typewriters are a special interest of mine so I'll try to keep this brief (spoiler alert, I failed). This isn't the cheapest option by a long shot but I love my typewriter with all my heart so I figured it should be included. Here's my tips: look on Ebay, Mercari, and Facebook Marketplace and try to find one in your budget that is at least mostly functional (my old girl is from the 40s and ribbon doesn't advance but I love her anyway). If you're going to be working at a desk, get a desktop model, but if you're like me and have no clue where you want to type, find one that is portable WITH CASE INCLUDED. Trust me you do not want to be looking for a typewriter case for a vintage typewriter online. Next, determine if you want/need a quieter model. Typewriters will never be silent, but some are made to muffle more noise than others. There is a YouTube channel called Jot and Tittle and they make demos of vintage typewriters where you can hear how loud they are and see how they are to work with. So if you find a specific model you're considering buying, make sure to check there to see if the keys are the right amount of clicky and the write amount of clacky for your needs. You'll also need to find ink ribbon, which you can easily find on ebay. If you have any questions or need to do/have a repair done, I recommend r/typewriters on reddit or finding a typewriter repair shop or other forum online.

Other Things I Recommend:

Random Generators: Whether it be for writing prompts, opening lines, names of any kind you can possibly think of, settings and locations, or really anything, I promise there is a random generator for you. For all things names (locations or people), I use Fantasy Name Generators, but anything you can think of has a generator online if you look.

Baby Name Websites: Sometimes you want a unique but realistic character name and you want to include the meaning or have the meaning of the name be an integral part of the story. If that's you, go to baby name websites. Most of them let you search by meaning or even pick a name you like (for example, a character whose name you like) and find similar names easily.

AI Story Generators: For the love of all that is holy, unholy, or right in the middle, do not publish or post anything written by AI and call it your own. However, if you can't decide how to write a scene or if you need a way to start the next chapter, or anything like that, use an AI generator and EDIT it afterwards. Most of these programs are subscription based or have a free trial or have a limited amount of generations per month, just so you know.

So that's all I have to say on this specific topic, but as soon as I finish this post I will be working on writing the next post on genres and genre expectations using the genres of my own current novel I'm planning as examples, so be sure to check that out if interested. Have a great day and please comment if you have any questions or if you're not going to be an ass. Thanks!

[matan4il]

Hi! First, I just wanted to say thank you for answering all these asks (and being the absolute sweetest while doing so! ily 😭💖)

I was just wondering, has anyone ever mentioned anything about the lil person-shaped magnets on Eddie’s fridge? I’m not saying they mean anything, but I find them so interesting???

Like at the end of 3x11 [Albert’s debut episode], when they have the get-together at Eddie’s, you see there’s more magnets there than usual, and they’re mostly connected (Eddie feels surrounded by those he loves & made a new friend.)

Then in 4x13 when Ana shows Eddie the fake fund-me pages, the magnets are in a circle (This is shortly before Eddie gets shot, which brings the crew together at the hospital; I also noticed that the usual magnets displayed are the red, orange, blue, green, & yellow ones.)

In 5x03 during Eddie and Ana’s breakup, the magnets are no longer in a circle, the blue, yellow, and green are connected, while the red and orange drift off, but are connected to each other. This is also the episode before Chimney leaves to find Maddie (Both Chim leaving and the start of Eddie’s mental health deterioration cause the circle to “break”). In my sad brain, I feel like Bobby, Hen, & Chimney are the blue/yellow/green and Buck & Eddie are the red/orange. Eddie is starting to feel more alone and begins distancing himself from the group, but Buck holds on.

And now, finally, we see that in 5x11, the magnets are gone. There is not one person-shaped magnet to be found on that fridge. And it just happens to coincide with a time when Eddie feels the loneliest??? When he “lost” his family and believes he has no one—despite the fact that both Buck and Bobby desperately want to help.

I really want to see if in the coming episodes, the magnets make a return and signal Eddie’s improving mental health. 💔

Hi lovely! Awwwww, thank YOU so much! ;_; It’s absolutely my pleasure to be answering, and my honor that you’re interested in my replies! I’m just sorry I can’t reply faster. I am dealing with rl medical stuff (including some slightly scary news), work being at its annual peak and it’s also been my mom’s bday this week, plus Passover, so LOTS of stuff happening and taking up all my time. I’m still trying to reply to everyone and take the time to give each person the full consideration and in-depth response everyone deserves, so I hope it’s okay that it might take me a moment... Just know I appreciate you! *HUGS*

I KNOW I had an ask sent to me about the magnet people months ago (I can’t even remember how long ago), but as much as I’ve tried finding it, I’ve failed. Thanks, Tumblr, for the most broken search function EVER. Anyway. I had a screenshots there which showed that the magnet people showed up earlier than people realized and there were more of them than most people noticed, and when it’s all taken into consideration, it does seem like these little magnet people are pretty random in color and order. So my conclusion was that there probably is no significance to them, but that I totally get why there were some specific shots where it looked like there could be meaning there, and also that I totally saw how it was so much fun to speculate about them! I would add that since that ask/the explosion of this theory in fandom, if there is someone from the 911 crew reading the posts here (and it IS possible), this person might have made others on production aware that we fans are making speculations about the magnets, so it’s possible that since that time, they have started moving the magnets around more purposely. So it’s even more legit than before to look at them and try to see if there is meaning behind them. I personally would still not be speculating about them. But I still think that it’s absolutely legit, and more than that, we ARE in fandom to have fun! So if you’re enjoying yourself looking at them and trying to find the meaningful pattern behind them? :D Go for it, I think it’s awesome and I’m happy to hear about it! *cuddles on*

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

[recurring-polynya]

The shinigami buffoonery in the TYBW was unparalleled, and even though you know I love those idiot grim reapers with my whole chest, I general feel like they did not deserve the W on that one (the bit where they are told not to use their bankai and, like, five captains immediately use it???) However, my languishing-in-the-elementary-school-dropoff-line thought of the day is this: The Quincy really did snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by the very simple virtue of never making sure anyone is actually dead.

It’s pretty obvious to me, and makes sense in universe, that high-powered shinigami are really hard to kill. Shinigami have bodies, but they are mostly just there to make everyone feel better, they don’t function like our meathusks, filled with delicate systems of organs and...mucuses and stuff. Shinigami are an incomplete set of memories, bound together by a will to exist. If you wound a shinigami in a way that would definitely kill a human-- disemboweling them for example (a thing that definitely happened to Ichigo once), it will traumatize them for sure, but if they can make it through the initial wound trauma, their spirit (possibly their zanpakutou) will just start spackling their reishi back together. Consider, if you will, how much blood came out of Renji when he fought Byakuya.

I think Byakuya assumes he’s leaving Renji for dead here, given the whole speech about “your bankai has disappeared, you must be close to death” (and let us also consider-- Byakuya considers this to be the indicator that Renji is about to bite it, rather than the fact that most of Renji could be picked up with a mop at this point). Rikichi and Hanatarou come by, but you get the sense that they didn’t save Renji’s life, they just got him back into fighting shape. I’m not sure that if he had just lain there indefinitely, if he would have gotten well enough to get up, but I definitely feel like Renji is incapable of bleeding out. I think this is normally the sort of thing that separates a lieutenant from a captain (or at least a lieutenant with captain potential from, say Omaeda), but Renji is incredibly stubborn generally, and at this moment was incredibly driven to keep going in order to save Rukia.

To actually kill a shinigami, it seems like you have to either cut off or destroy their head, or cut them roughly in half. Even when Tousen gets stabbed through the brain, he is still able to chat a little bit before, um, exploding, for some reason, which is definitely not what would happen to a person who got stabbed through the brain. You can even cut a shinigami, like 65-35, and if the head is on the big half, they can probably survive that. This has happened to Hitsugaya, like 4 times, although I don’t remember which ones turned out to be illusions or in filler, or what, but I am pretty sure that there were at least twice. I mentioned earlier that a shinigami is a set of memories, but another way to think of that is that they are a self-concept. This is sort of a two-edged sword, in the sense that it is this identification with their physical corpus that can cause them to die if it gets hacked up too bad. Mayuri, who is able to think of himself as a big moving glob of reishi, might be nearly impossible to kill without literally, like, doing some sort of Quincy reishi absorption trick. He turned himself into a goo once. (Incidentally, I think Urahara is also very good at this, as evidenced by his bankai).

As far as I can think, the only shinigami we have ever seen succumb to their wounds is Gin, and this holds to my theory, too-- he’s spent over a century lying in wait to take Aizen down. He took his shot and it wasn’t enough. Then, Ichigo shows up, and Gin looks at him, says ‘I am no longer needed’ and dies.

So, back to the point!

The Quincy did a lot of property damage and killed a shit-ton of low-level shinigami. I’m sorry to them, but let’s face it, the low-level shinigami have never played... really... any significant role in Bleach. In terms of actually taking out people with enough power to be considered players:

Sasakibe is killed by a group of seven Quincy as a warning shot

Yhwach personally kills Yamamoto

Unohana lets herself get killed by Kenpachi because she very much wanted to be excluded from this narrative so he would get stronger (still not convinced this was necessary)

Nemu dies while fighting Pernida because she pushed herself past safe operational limits

Ukitake sacrifices himself to keep reality from collapsing

Yhwach and his best guys do manage to kill (temporarily) Squad 0 using a 1-time power-up that claimed the lives of most of the other Quincy forces. It is implied that it is not possible to kill Squad 0 permanently.

You might notice a pattern here, which is that the Quincy suck ass at killing shinigami. Furthermore, at one time or another, the Quincy KO’d a significant portion of the main cast: Kira, Byakuya, Renji, Rukia, Kenpachi, Hitsugaya, Matsumoto. Renji and Rukia interrupted Mask just as he finished taking down Kensei, Rose, Hisagi, Ikkaku and Yumichika, but Giselle gets ahold of Rose and Kensei later and zombifies them, which I am very distinctly not sure is a better strategy than just killing them (it certainly doesn’t pan out very successfully). There may have been some other of these fights that were interrupted, I am not going to re-read the whole TYBW arc for the purposes of this post. My point is, instead of spending one hundred billion Quincy dollars on developing bankai stealing abilities, I would have also given the Sternritter a PowerPoint presentation consisting of a single slide that just says “once they go down, make sure they’re dead.” Personally, I probably would have divided my forces into frontline fighters like Bazz and As Nodt and Bambi, and given them squads to follow along behind them, cutting off heads and incinerating bodies. Then again, Yhwach seemed to give exactly zero shits about personnel issues or strategy, generally.

Mostly, this war was a matter of Yhwach trying to do stuff and various shinigami preventing him from doing it. The TYBW arc is a mess and I am honestly not willing to put in the amount of effort to determine if there were actually any linchpin characters aside from, Ichigo, obviously, but I feel like if the Quincy had gone the extra 0.1% in that first invasion and actually finished off Byakuya, Rukia, Renji, and Kenpachi, they would have won the whole thing.

But they didn’t. lol.