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insertsickusername13 · 1 year

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Day three of richjake week 2023 and I actually have something written before 10 pm! Be proud of me.

today's prompt: Secrets (oooohhhh)

disclaimer: so star said no explicit content bc they're a minor buuuut I had an idea and listen, it's not explicit like AT ALL, but it does talk abt sex a little and sexual content is definitely implied. I got permission from Star but she also said I have to put a warning sooo here is a warning that yes sex is talked about but no it is not explicit in the slightest. oh also beware of mentions of abuse.

Summary: Rich faces the consequences of being in a long-term kind-of relationship with a prince.

word count: 1.9k

“So you’re really willing to live the rest of your fucking life like this?! Living a lie?! You’re so much of a fucking coward you’re planning to hide your entire life—”

“It’s not a lie!” Jake yells, so loud, so guttural, so utterly animalistic Rich is convinced it must be pure screaming rather than a sentence with actual words woven into it.

Rich almost flinches back. He almost lets himself be afraid of this primitive version of Jake, but to do that would be to exile his consciousness back to five years old, hiding under his bed while his brother took the brunt of his father’s anger. He won’t do that.

“Don’t fucking yell at me,” he seethes, and though he tells himself he’s being mature, being clear and concise, he still blindly fumbles for the silver hairbrush on Jake’s vanity behind him. It can cause pain. He can cause pain. Just in case.

Jake’s wild, bloodshot eyes follow the movement—darting back and forth in his eye sockets, the rest of him remaining unmoved, borderline crazed in the way he barks out a stark laugh at the pathetic sight.

“Here’s a deal: don’t try to pretend I’m like you—” this he spits, the words acidic and smoking with implications, as he approaches Rich, his stance daunting and condescending like he believes Rich to be stupid “—and I won’t yell.”

He sticks his hand out, jabbing Rich right between the ribs. He wants Rich to shake it. To make their ‘deal’ official.

Rich glares down at the offending hand, then back up at Jake’s face. It’s unfair that between the pure malice on Jake’s face and the hard, unwavering set of his jaw, Rich can still see the soft, caring prince he was so accustomed to. That boy was the opposite of irascible. He was painfully civilized, polite to a fault. Jake hasn’t changed, hasn’t suddenly become some unredeemable monster, he’s just been stripped of the humanity he fought so hard to keep among the selfish lords and nobles and royals he’s forced to surround himself with.

“Like me,” Rich repeats, voice so monotonous he almost doubts that he’s kept his humanity either. Even so, anger boils in his stomach, burning his insides with steaming heat, a painful form of proof. He’s human. He’s furious.

When he repeats the words again, they’re painted with rage.

“Like me. Fucking like me.” He backs up—one step, two, three. Jake’s vanity bangs up against his spine. “So you’re willing to strip me, fuck me, undo me, but you’re scared of being like me?”

Jake’s hand clenches into a fist. Rich can see the indecision on his face. He wants to hit something. He might hit Rich. Instead, he digs his nails into his own palm until blood coats his fingertips and drips down his wrist.

When he speaks, he doesn’t yell. He sounds like he’s negotiating with another king, debating the outcome of some war with a random, pretentious prince he’d stumbled upon at one ball or another. His civility has returned to him, sure, but it’s a bitter kind—it burns with psychotic desperation despite its apparent tranquility.

“I never gave you any indication that I wanted anything more than sex. You knew that from the beginning. You knew this was just an—”

“If you say experiment I will never speak to you again. Experiments don’t last two and a half fucking years.”

Jake looks like a ship about to go under. He looks like destruction.

“I have been engaged with multiple different women over our time together—”

“You seemed perfectly content coming home to fuck me every night anyway.”

Jake makes a sound like he’s just been stabbed with white-hot metal. His legs give out for a second—not long enough for him to fall, but long enough for his muscles to go from tense to struggling to hold him upright. The only reason he doesn’t sit is because he knows how it’ll come off. He’s been in the council’s chambers, he’s sat in on negotiations and treaty signings. He’s memorized every aspect of body language that can signify weakness and, by god, he cannot let Rich know that he makes Jake weak.

“I have been engaged with multiple women,” he repeats, the words slipping between his teeth (teeth that have dug into Rich’s skin, have tasted his blood, have memorized the indents at his hips and the slope of his muscles), “I am engaged to a woman. Not you. Never you. Our arrangement—”

“Affair.”

“Arrangement—” The word comes out strained this time.

“Dalliance,” Rich says.

“Arrangement—” He almost sounds like he’s choking on it. Rich smiles.

“I can keep fucking going, asshole. We had sex. We didn’t sign a contract. Fucking own up to it.”

Jake lowers his head in submission.

“Our dalliance was just fun. Just playing. It was a thing for children. It was never anything more than—we were just—” he struggles around the word, the weight of it so complete he can barely say it, not only afraid of Rich’s reaction—violent, furious, unforgiving—but also of what it would do to himself. He’ll be forced to slice off his own tongue. It’ll always taste like the shape of—

“Experimenting,” he says (almost sobs), “You were just an experiment.”

Rich drops the hairbrush. If he keeps it in his hand he’ll throw it and he’d rather die than do that.

“Right,” he says, his voice trembling. Doubt stands behind him, a shadow so dark it makes his vision double and triple. Even as the room spun, the two, three, four, five Jake’s all swimming in his vision coalesced down into one boy, one prince, standing in front of him without a crown to be seen. “Right, an experiment sticks around even as you filter through dozens of different girls. I’m the experiment. Not them. They’re not all just fucked up attempts to find a girl who makes you feel like I do. Because she’ll fix it. She’ll fucking fix you—”

“I don’t need fixing! I’m not—” he spins, grabbing his dress shirt from the floor. It’s pretty incriminating to be half naked with the boy you’re claiming you don’t love.

“I’m straight,” he says, forcing himself into the shirt, “I’m straight. It’s not fake when I’m with her. I’m marrying her because I want to. Because I can't---don't, fuck, won't marry you.”

He keeps talking, Rich knows he keeps talking, but it’s so quiet Rich can’t hear it over the blood rushing in his ears, over the tears blurring his vision. Jake’s mouth moves, muttering to himself, reassuring himself that it’s the truth—he likes her, he likes her, he likes her—and Rich does everything he can not to obsess over the words. He almost wants them tattooed on him, wants to stare at them with burning eyes until the entire world has caught fire with the knowledge that Jake does not love him.

Jake pulls his suit jacket over his shirt. He looks up from the floor and over at Rich, his gaze a labyrinth of lies Rich doesn’t want to believe, but Jake’s always been a sweet talker—he can make even the most bitter of words taste like honey. That’s how he kept Rich around for so long even as he danced with girls at balls and took princesses out on picnics while Rich stayed sitting, waiting at Jake’s bedroom door like a little kid, for Jake to come home and bed him.

(But it was never the sex, no matter what Jake said. It wasn’t. It was the moments after. Jake, naked under the covers, malleable like molten gold, hanging off of Rich’s words like he was trying to ingratiate him. It was Jake’s hands on Rich’s hips in every dark corner of the palace Jake ruled. It was the stolen kisses before council meetings, chaste kisses in hallways during balls that would’ve escalated to more had Jake not had to return to the ballroom a moment later to dance with a noble’s daughter. It was the pink of Jake’s lips as he kissed Rich’s shoulder, his mouth still the strawberry flavor of the lipstains the girls he courted wore.

It was Jake pacing the length of his room, repeating the lines to a speech he was about to give with the nervous fervor of an anxious teenager about to confess. It was the way he looked at Rich for either approval or constructive criticism, and the way he accepted every word Rich said, whether good or bad, with a curt nod and hidden smile.

It was the fact he never seemed to know what to do with himself when Rich complimented him. A simple ‘you’re pretty’ and Jake was frozen, face flushed and tongue drunk and uncoordinated, unable to come up with any response other than nervous laughter.

It was the first night Jake had fucked him. He’d tried to make it all a joke.

“You’re supposed to boss me around sometimes, y’know,” he’d laughed, still breathless from their climb back through Jake’s bedroom window. They weren’t supposed to go down to town without supervision, but when Rich had caught Jake with his sheets tied into a rope and hanging off the side of the castle, he’d joined him instead of yelling. “Instead you just let me do whatever I want. I could—” he’d grabbed Rich’s shirt and pulled him in close. “I could touch you here—” his fingertips brushed over Rich’s bicep, then the rim of his pants, “—and you won’t stop me.”

There was a long, heavy pause. Jake looked up from the place he was touching Rich and whispered, “You’re not stopping me.”

Rich smirked.

“Do you want me to?”

Jake only laughed again, bright and starry. He shook his head as he dragged Rich to his bed, overeager and ecstatic.

It was the fact Jake loved him. Jake loves him.

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me—)

Jake approaches carefully, almost scared of what Rich will do if he gets too close. Rich remains still, waiting. He wants Jake to kiss him. He thinks maybe he will. One last impassioned kiss, a dramatic ending to their dramatic story, before Jake says that god forsaken word again and leaves.

But Jake only skirts around the edge of Rich’s personal space and snatches his crown from the vanity behind him.

“Maybe,” he whispers, sounding calm and resigned—almost defeated—now that Rich is thoroughly convinced of Jake’s intransigence, “Maybe it never had anything to do with you, have you—” he swallows the truth and continues, “—have you ever thought about that? Maybe it could’ve been anyone. Maybe you were just a boy in my bedroom willing to have sex, and maybe that’s all I thought. Maybe it was just instinct. Maybe I liked it, but maybe that was just because you touched me and you wanted me, and I—”

Rich searches Jake’s expression for pain. These words should be hurting, should be tearing him apart from the inside out. That’s what they’re doing to Rich. They’re destroying him. He never thought Jake was pernicious. He always thought Jake was an instrument of god, an extension of pure creation and goodness, but there were no tears in his eyes. Only a vague, shadowy regret.

“---maybe I just let you want me. Because it felt nice to be wanted.”

He knows what he’s doing as he puts the crown on his head and leaves. It’s a show of status. Rich is a servant with red-hot tears on his face and Jake is a prince with a crown on his head.

Jake is a prince who’s going to a ball to dance with his betrothed and Rich is a servant who’s going to stay in their— in Jake’s—bedroom and clean up the mess of their love and then the mess of their fight.

Fuck you, Jake Dillinger. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

---

the secret is that they're in a relationship. bc. bc jake's a prince and he's not allowed to be in a relationship w a dude. yep. okay.

#heh yeah okay bye #instrument is said once bc jake is an instrument of god so actually this works for yesterday's prompt too #rich goranski #richjake #richjake week 2023 #jake dillinger #bmc #sparkly star fanfic #this is gonna be two parts btw #maybe #depends if i feel like it #idfk

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boyfriendappreciator · 2 years

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Assigning lemon demon songs to each bugsnax grumpus

(Some have multiple songs bc I’m indecisive)

Filbo: fine/white bread boyfriend/hip hop cherry pop

Wiggle: being a rockstar/ indie Cindy and the Lofi lullabies

Floofty: eighth wonder/mask of my own face

Beffica: vow of silence

Wambus: eyewishes/bystanding (Idk I couldn’t really find one that fit him perfectly)

Cromdo: marketland/money dollar bills/I earn my life

Triffany: archaeopteryx

Lizbert: action movie hero boy

Eggabelle: sad

Snorpy: touch tone telephone (ofc)

Chandlo: the too much song/pizza heros

Shelda: also archaeopteryx

Gramble: something glowing/sad (again I couldn’t really find one that fit him super well)

Also some honorable mentions for the entire game as a whole:

-the wiggles hate each other in real life

-modify

-dinosaurchestra part 1 & 3

-nightmare fuel

-ancient aliens

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theuwuafterhours · 1 year

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strawberry shortcake

tiramisu

taiyaki

strawberry shortcake ー your birthday / star sign

May 27 2000, gemini :3

tiramisu ー your favorite warm drink & favorite cold drink

(Bc I’m indecisive imma give multiple answers)

Warm drinks - I really like a good hot choccy, chai latte and jasmine tea~

Cold drinks - bubble/milk tea/fruit tea (to go into the detail/exact flavours would take forever bc there’s even more), strawberry milk, iced mocha, iced chai, iced choccy/choccy milk. Also I really like this Starbucks iced shaken strawberry green tea lemonade :3

Cold alcoholic drink/cocktail - Japanese slipper, bc I love midori. I really don’t like the taste of alcohol n I’m a sweet tooth so just give juice lol.

I’m sorry it’s a lottttt, I honestly could’ve went even more and described in detail why i like certain drinks n the different flavours etc… >3<

Edit: forgot to answer the last question

taiyaki ー which anime/manga character do you feel best represents your personality & why?

Idk nothing is really coming to mind.. brain real empty rn. Ig bubbles from powerpuff girls, bc I am v emotional n cute as my bf says n love my plushie collection n I can be hardcore lol

Oo also chowder!!!!! My motto in life is I don’t wanna grow up, I got that from chowder also I loveeee food like him! :3

#uwu.ask #anon #askgame

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capnseriouslycanadian · 2 years

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Hi! I love talking about domestic and parent 1988 things so much, and I wanted to drop some questions in your ask box lol. These are a bunch of “who would be better at or be more likely to do” questions.

Plan the vacations?

Gets the kids their thousandth cup of water to stave off bedtime?

Who would do what daily chores?

Who would clean up toxic accidents from children and dogs galore? (Jonny will get his dog, *shakes fist at sky*)

Who is better at entertaining guests?

Who is the chaperone on field trips?

Who’s the bigger baby when they’re sick?

Are they vampires when they sleep? Or does someone need a night light?

Who’s good cop and bad cop?

Honestly, after typing these out I realized a lot could be both lol. Hope you enjoy your weekend!

i am so SO sorry that i took forever to reply to this. i started typing out my reply eons ago and had it saved in my drafts to come back to, so i’m glad i finally had time to finish!! but let’s get to it!!

who plans the vacations? i think patrick probably tries to bully jonny into going to cabo every chance he gets, but jonny’s more adventurous and likes to go to more tropical places for his wellness retreats, hikes, ~nature vibes~, etc. so i presume that their joint vacations would be some sort of combination of bickering and indecision, but because jonny’s weak, he would eventually cave and they would go to cabo. :)

who gets the kids their thousandth cup of water to stave off bedtime? i’m gonna throw a curve ball in here and say that it’s definitely good ol’ uncle sharpy keeping the kids up whenever he baby sits, because jonny is Not a morning person and patrick has said on multiple occasions that he really values his sleep as he gets older (lol okay grandpa).

who would do what daily chores? jonny’s the cook, because he has the more temperamental stomach and more dietary restrictions, and patrick’s learned to like some of his healthier dishes. patrick does dishes and loads the dishwater. they fight over laundry because they both hate it and think it’s tedious. patrick always tidies the kitchen and living room, putting away random odds and ends that jonny seems to leave everywhere. jonny takes out the recycling because “if you’re going to throw plastic bottles everywhere, the least you could do is throw them out, jonathan.”

who would clean up toxic accidents from the kids and dogs? i’m gonna go with jonny for this one, because of how patrick said that he never changes diapers or anything for pk3 lol. i feel like it’s probably a team effort tho, and typically falls on the shoulders of whichever one of them is less annoyed on any given day

who is better at entertaining guests? definitely jonny because he’s been hosting team bonding gatherings at his apartment for as long as he can remember and he’s a little more extroverted. patrick likes his people, so if it’s hosting someone he’s not super familiar with, it can take him a little longer to warm up to them, but jonny will sense his uncertainty and plaster himself along patrick’s side, arm thrown over his shoulders, and patrick will be all laughter and easy smiles in no time.

who is the chaperone on field trips? jonny 100%. i can picture him with his backpack full of first aid supplies and extra snacks and water, trying to herd all the kids and keep them in line (much the same way a captain would). i think he would especially love going on the outdoor field trips. camping, skiing, skating, hiking, scavenger hunts, the works.

who’s the bigger baby when they’re sick? i’m going to probably say neither of them are bc they both seem pretty keen to play through illnesses. but i’ll go with patrick here, solely because jonny’s dealt with so many different sicknesses and health problems over the years that he’s probably a bit immune to being sick (as sad as it is to say).

are they vampires when they sleep? or does someone need a night light? i think they both prefer to sleep in the dark because when you’re used to sleeping in hundreds of different hotel rooms, the darkness helps it feel less hotel-y and more like home.

who’s good cop and bad cop? i think they probably tag team it, switching off so that neither ever ends up being more well liked than the other. gotta keep the playing field as fair as possible!

thank you for the ask!!

#ask #headcanons #1988 #domestic 1988

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joelsdagger · 5 months

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talking body || one shot

masterlist | ao3 | tlou is created by a zionist and tlou2 is based on the Israeli occupation on Palestine, this article expands on that info. pls visit these links to help.

pairing: joel miller x curvy f!reader

rating: 18+ MDNI

word count: 7.5k (dear god)

summary: joel doesn’t hesitate to show you just how crazy he is about you. content warnings: jackson era, canon divergent, established relationship, unspecified age gap, (joel is late 50’s/pushing 60 & reader is whatever age you like her to be), fatphobic/misogynistic comments from a male oc, mentions of body insecurities, a little bit of jealousy (from reader), [internal] angst (feelings of guilt & shame), reader wears a form–fitting dress, joel gets handsy, body worship, pet names (sweetheart, darlin’, baby, pretty girl), brief vaginal fingering, biting, body marking, praise kink, sprinkle of degradation, 1 pussy slap, dirty talk (or as kat put it; joel miller and that FUCKING MOUTH), oral sex (f receiving), mild ass play, unprotected piv, rough sex, spanking, multiple orgasms, possessive!joel, pussy pronouns, creampie, fluff, joel just being such a sweetheart but also an absolute menace UGH, game!joel or show!joel, reader is curvy and can be interpreted as being mid/plus sized, but other than that no other physical descriptions of reader and no use of y/n.

a/n: this is completely self indulgent and i love doing shit out of spite so naturally i wrote this cuz of all the shit i’ve been seeing these past few weeks. also, this is me pushing the agenda that game!joel is a hips guy and show!joel is an ass guy, so i mixed a little bit of both in here bc i can. to everyone with thick thighs, squishy bellies, big tits, hip dips, and every thing in between i see you, i love you (so does joel), and he would fuck your brains out, he told me himself :3 thank you to my loves @skrunkly-scrimblo & @phoeberidgers for being my second and third eyes & helping my indecisive ass with the visuals (and for always putting up with me) ily both sm <3 | dividers by @saradika-graphics

oh! masterlist is coming in a few days (i’m sorry, i’ve been putting it off)

Joel’s still sitting at the table with Tommy and Maria when Dina cuts into your path as you approach the bar, you were getting refills for your table. Dina drags you along behind her to the open space where a few other Jackson residents are dancing, she points out that you still haven’t delivered on your promise to dance with her. You playfully roll your eyes as she tugs you along, you don’t really mind, you’re the type to drink and dance the night away whenever you and Joel joined your fellow Jackson residents at The Tipsy Bison, letting out all the stress and worries that had built up from days prior and tonight was one of those nights, you endured a long, shitty, fucking week.

One dance had turned into two which turned into three and very quickly you felt the overwhelming sense of heat from the lights and the alcohol running through your system warming up your body an ungodly amount. It didn’t help that the short, tight dress you were wearing was beginning to ride up your thighs and the thin fabric on your stomach clinging to your sticky skin as sweat started to pool in places you didn’t quite like.

You take advantage of the song coming to an end and spin out of the dance before someone ropes you back in, tugging the hemline of your dress down while you make your way to the bar to finally order refills for your table. As you wait for the bartender to come out from the back, you turn around to watch the rest of Jackson’s residents while they drink, dance, and laugh through the night, a smile tugs on your lips as you briefly spot Dina now dragging Ellie to the small open space. You continue glancing over the room, it was busier than usual though still expected, gatherings during the fall and winter months tended to occur more often, the cold weather gives people a reason to spend more time indoors, alcohol and loud music helps keep bodies warm and memories faded away. Nights like these are needed in Jackson.

Your gaze eventually lands on your table, seeing a tall, beautiful, dark-haired woman standing in front of Joel, you know exactly who it is…Esther. You’re not surprised, she’s been after Joel for years, completely disregarding your relationship with him. You don’t blame her, Joel’s one hell of a man but you can’t help but feel a pit in your stomach when you see a smile on his face as he cracks a laugh at her joke, she playfully smacks his arm in return and you avert your eyes to scan the crowd once again.

You know he doesn’t mean anything by it, Joel’s a gentleman, always polite and charming, he plays along as to not embarrass her.

So why does it bother you?

You feel stupid, again you can’t blame her, but then your eyes trail down her body, she’s got a few years on you but she doesn’t look it. From what you can tell, her body has remained the same since the day you met her.

Yours, on the other hand, has slightly changed to a noticeable degree, as you settled into Jackson as well as your relationship with Joel. Your breasts spill over the cups of a few older bras, you have a softer tummy that protrudes out in form–fitting clothes like right now and your thighs and ass fill your jeans out a bit more. It’s a dull feeling now, not really paying it any mind anymore, you were more aware of it at first, but occasionally, moments like this remind you of the changes in your body.

His body has deliciously changed with age; his hair now suitably silver, though the gray patches of hair spanning across his chest and down his belly don’t quite match the hair on his scalp. When he lifts his arms just enough his soft belly peeks out, perfectly protruding just above the waistband of his jeans. He’s insecure about it, his age more apparent when you’re beside him, not that he’d ever really admit that to you, but you picked up on it pretty quickly when he started opting for loose fitting button downs and jeans, but he clearly still has an effect on women.

With you it’s just….different.

Feeling the heat of a stare on you and knowing who it’s from, you glance back at Joel, your gaze landing on his face again, you can see his face more clearly now, Esther’s still talking to him, yet his attention isn’t on her, his eyes are trained on you and you’re met with an expression of hunger on his face. His eyes steadily rake down your body, feasting on the tight material clinging to your sticky skin, they pause and for a fleeting moment he fixates on your exposed thighs, his eyes trail back up to your chest, and as he lifts up the glass of whiskey he’s been nursing to his mouth, you catch his tongue poke out to lick his bottom lip, his eyes never leaving yours as he takes a long sip of his whiskey.

The faint buzz from the alcohol emboldens you and you wink back at him.

No longer giving those feelings a second thought you turn back around and try to wave down the bartender.

“Another round, please.”

“Sure thing, sweets.”

He turns away to grab your drinks, your ears perk up when you hear someone say your name, you turn your head towards the voice, noticing a few men sitting at the edge of the bar. You recognize one of them, a younger man, who happened to be your old patrol partner and your last fling.

Naturally, you eavesdrop on their conversation. Matt’s back is to you when you hear it.

“She’s not in her prime, you should’ve seen her a few years ago,” he sneers.

His words pierce through you, you know exactly what he’s getting at, it stings even when you know it shouldn’t, it festers.

A man you’re not familiar with, probably the newbie, stands further away, he opens his mouth to speak but you can’t hear what he’s saying, the music is too loud and you have to fight the urge to look directly at him so you can read his lips, but he says something that earns a few snickers out of the men surrounding him.

The shame coils and pulls taut in your stomach, twisting, pulling, scraping so tight it makes you dizzy and nauseous.

You don’t even realize your drinks had been placed on the bartop in front of you, Matt’s irritating voice cuts in and holds your attention, “Can’t believe a man like Joel is still with her. No real man can fuck women who look like that and enjoy it,” he says simply.

The shame turns to rage and your blood boils, you feel your cheeks heating up as anger bubbles in the pit of your stomach, the blinding rage looms over you and your feet move without thinking. You begin to step forward but for the second time that night your movements are interrupted, you hear her voice before she’s in front of you.

“You ditched us to grab drinks and yet we never got them,” Maria teases.

“Sorry, I got carried away,” you look away from the group of men and back at Maria, flashing her a smile, a little forced.

“Figured. Joel’s been eyeing you while you were dancing, I told him to join you but we both know he prefers admiring you,” she says, redrawing your attention by tilting her head into your line of sight.

She beckons you with a jerk of her head, “C’mon, your man gets grumpy when you’re away,” she says with a comforting smile. As the two of you grab the whiskey filled glasses, she hooks her arm through yours and walks you back to the table.

Joel pulls open your chair next to him, you sit down and silently hand him his whiskey, the anger fizzling out as soon as you’re beside him though the knot of shame still tight in the pit of your stomach. He senses something is off immediately, your behavior wildly different than twenty or so minutes before.

“Thanks, baby,” he says as he watches you intently.

“Mhm.”

You nod, shooting him a glance before averting your eyes back to a small group of residents dancing.

Tommy turns his head to ask Maria about the new patrol schedules for the upcoming week, Joel sees it as a window of opportunity, a distraction, so he throws his arm around you and tucks you into his side, just enough for you to smell the whiskey on him, he settles his palm on your stomach, his thumb starts rubbing small circles on your belly through your tight dress, “You okay, darlin’?” he whispers, his whiskey–warm breath against your ear.

“Yup. Just tired,” you say dismissively, trying to keep your voice light, hoping it doesn’t sound as pinched as your throat feels. You press a chaste kiss to the flecks of silver on his temple, attempting to sooth his worries, while internally trying to convince yourself that you’re not giving those assholes too much power over their words, even though you have, it gnaws at you so much it makes your bones itch beneath your skin.

He catches the deceit in your voice but he drops the subject, knowing not to pry in this moment, “Alright, we'll finish these and head home,” he kisses your forehead before he turns his attention back towards the conversation.

—

Joel kept on his word, the two of you leaving the gathering once you knocked back the rest of your drinks. However, finishing off your drinks meant the two of you were in a tipsy state and Joel’s insatiable when he’s got alcohol buzzing in his system. As soon as he closes the bedroom door behind him, he instantly pins you up against the door and presses his lips to yours, his mouth swallowing yours while his hands run greedily all over your body, grabbing and squeezing every part of you.

“God, you’re fuckin’ beautiful,” he says while he nuzzles his head in the deep groove of your cleavage, he nips lightly before leaving open–mouthed kisses to the exposed skin, his big hands come up to cup your breasts, your nipples peaked and hard beneath the thin fabrics of your dress and your bra.

“Fuck–” your whimper is cut off when Joel drags his lips back up to connect with yours, you hum as you taste his flavour, all oak and masculine and campfire like with a hint of spice from the whiskey. He moans as he licks his tongue into your mouth, one hand squeezes the weight of your breast while the other glides around to your back, pulling you closer. Joel always gets like this after a few drinks; it’s always heady, needy, sloppy like it is now. He kisses you with so much want and desire it makes your brain all foggy and your skin flare, forgetting the moment that threw off your mood.

That is until Joel’s hands make their way down your front, palming your tummy softly, one hand reaches under the hem of your short dress to cup your mound and the memory claws its way back to the surface, Matt’s words echo in your mind.

You tear your lips away from his and plaster on a tight smile, knowing your eyes will give you away, you stare at the scar across his nose, “Not tonight, baby,” you whisper, pressing a swift kiss to his cheek and tucking a silver curl behind his ear.

Though Joel Miller, as always, is on high alert, always studying the people around him, it’s all he’s ever known in his role of a protector. He learnt and memorized all your tells within weeks of knowing you, he doesn’t need to see your eyes to catch on, he senses the hint of sadness in the hushed tone of your voice, the same one he clocked earlier at The Tipsy Bison, he knows you’re holding back.

“Alright, sweetheart, what’s on your mind?”

You brush past him, walking away and sitting on the bed, “Nothing, I’m fine, I’m just tired,” you say a little too hurriedly, your voice too syrupy-sweet. That’s the third thing that’s tipped him off tonight. He follows you tentatively, sitting beside you placing his hands on your knees and guiding you to face him.

He assesses your face and sighs, “We’re not gonna do that. You’ve been real quiet and distant most of the night. Darlin’, talk to me,” he hooks a finger underneath your chin and gently tilts your face upwards, forcing you to look at him.

You shrug heavily, feeling stupid for letting their words sour your mood, but worse for thinking the same about yourself, when you should be grateful. Living, breathing, existing is a privilege, one that not everyone gets, something you and Joel are too familiar with, yet here you are letting dumb comments from even dumber men upset you. The same knot in your stomach from earlier pulls taut once again.

You rip your eyes away from Joel’s, not able to bring yourself to face the troubled look in his eyes. “It's just embarrassing, and I’m ashamed that I let things still get to me,” you admit defeatedly, your voice barely audible.

“Baby,” he tugs gently on your chin again, “Look at me,” he murmured.

You blink up at him, forcing yourself to look at him, tears pricking in your eyes when you see the worry line appearing in between his brows and the hues of concern in his eyes once again. He reaches up to gently cradle your face, the contact sends you over the edge and a tear cascades down your cheek, his calloused thumb swipes it away, the turmoil clear as day in his eyes, you hate that you’re the reason for the pained expression on his face.

“Tell me,” he implored, his voice pinched as he spoke.

You can feel the walls of your throat constricting and the rapid thump of your pulse right below your jaw as you swallow tightly. Just hearing the hurt in his voice should stop you, should make you drop the whole thing. You think about leaving Matt’s name out of it, just by mentioning that Matt was the one reaffirming your deep-seated insecurities will upset him alone, Joel’s hated the guy since the day he found out you fucked him but leaving his name out of it feels like you're protecting him.

That coupled with the look of worry on his face, knowing his compulsive need to do right by you but he can’t if you don’t let him, coaxes you to tell him everything.

Biting the bullet and bracing yourself for impact, you take a deep breath.

“You know that guy, Matt, that I used to….” you trail off quietly, biting your lip.

His lips downturn into a soft frown and yet he doesn’t respond, just gives you a firm nod.

You avoid his gaze, picking at the loose skin around your nail, Joel notices and grabs your hands in his. Your eyes stay transfixed on your lap, you sigh deeply, “He said, a man like you shouldn’t be with someone like me, said he doesn’t know how you can fuck me and enjoy it,” another tear spills down your cheek, recounting each of his words feels like hard punches to the gut. “And then seeing Esther hitting on you again, even though everyone knows we’re together–I know I shouldn’t let it get to me but I can’t help how I feel sometimes,” your voice quavering as you ramble admittedly.

You peer up at him under watery lashes and for a second you can practically see him fighting the urge of storming out of the house and heading back to The Tipsy Bison to find the bastard, you can see it in the flash of anger that spreads across his features, in the twitch of his jaw and the flare of his nostrils as he takes in a sharp breath.

Instead, he exhales, “Darlin’, there ain’t nothing wrong with you,” he dips his head down so his eyes meet yours, you shrug again.

“Stop that. You’re perfect honey,” you can hear the sincerity in his voice as he runs his hand along your upper thighs, now exposed as your dress rolled up from your position on the bed.

“I get it darlin’, hell one good look in the mirror n’ I wonder how a pretty thing like yourself could want an old man like me,” he huffs a quiet chuckle.

You shake your head immediately, “Joel–”

“Sweetheart, it’s okay if you need remindin’,” he interjects you, “I have no problem remindin’ you,” he asserts softly, his fingers still tracing up and down your thigh.

You frown, “I know you don’t Joel, it’s just,” you sigh a shuddering breath, feeling that familiar pang of guilt in your chest, now regretting opening up to him. The heavy stones of guilt and shame weighing you down, threatening to swallow you whole. The last thing he needed was you burdening him with your insecurities, you know him, he’ll dwell on this for days to come, checking in when he feels you pulling away.

“Lemme show you, baby,” he says while softly grabbing your hands, prying them away from your middle.

“No, Joel–” you began to protest.

“Need to see my beautiful girl,” he encourages you gently, his hands roam down and pause right below the hem of your dress but he awaits your permission.

You nod softly and lie back against the headboard, you watch his face as he carefully and slowly grabs at the skirt of your dress, shoving up the soft, red material over your waist, revealing your soft, pillowy silhouette.

He hovers over you as he takes his time palming the slopes of your curves, his big hands grab two handfuls of your breasts and squeezes them tightly, lifting the weight of them up and dropping his head down to nip at each breast, then letting them fall and marveling at the bounce of your tits. His hands find your hips, he’s sliding down the bed, just enough so his head is level with your middle, he dips his head down and presses his lips to the soft flesh, his teeth sink into your skin, sending a shiver down your spine, you involuntarily let out a soft moan.

He grips your hips more firmly, almost like you’ll disappear before him if he doesn’t, he moves his lips to your other hip and nips at your skin, “My sexy girl, fuckin’ can’t get enough of you,” he says lowly, his breath hot against your skin, you whimper softly as both of your hands find the nape of his neck. His mouth moves to the soft swell of your tummy and he nips at the supple skin right above your belly button, the coarse scruff tickles your skin and you can’t help the giggle it elicits from you.

He pulls away and peers up at you, eyes dark and full of lust, his mouth hovers over yours, “You drive me crazy, you know that, baby?” He whispers fervently against your lips, his fingers squeezing the meat of your thighs.

Your glassy eyes meet his as your hand comes up to cup his cheek, “I’m pretty crazy about you too, handsome,” you whisper, his cheeks flush pink at your words, still so bashful. He kisses the heel of your palm before patting the side of your thigh, “Turn around for me sweetheart, go on, all fours, need to see all of you,” he smirks, his eyes full of intensity as they drag down your body.

You do as he asks and move to the middle of the bed, flipping onto your knees and walking your hands out in front of you, arching your back slightly and hiking your up ass in front of him, he moans at the sight. “Good girl,” he praises softly behind you and your pussy throbs, a familiar sticky heat pools in your panties at his words. You playfully take a glance back at him, his eyes dark and half-lidded as he sits up and moves to his knees behind you, his hands run up the backs of your thighs all the way up until they meet the globe of your ass and he whistles lowly.

“Look at you, so fuckin’ perfect,” he murmurs, oggling the curve of your ass as his index finger sneaks under the lace trim of your panties, taking the material between his forefinger and his thumb and lightly skimming his fingers down the lace, “N’all for me.”

His fingers roam down to your covered slit and you let out a soft gasp, which only spurs him on, he runs his fingers along the wet spot on your panties, smirking when he feels the wetness staining your panties, the tips of his fingers dip below your clothed slit, “There's my girl. Always so fuckin’ wet for me, huh?” You hum softly in response.

The tip of his middle finger pushes past your outer lips and you bite down on your bottom lip, trying to suppress the whimper you let out. You’re already so wet, you’re always so wet and willing for him. It should embarrass you, how easy you are for him but it doesn't because it’s him and knowing how much he revels in this, in you makes that small pinch of embarrassment fade away instantly…every single time.

You risk a look at him over your shoulder as he pulls his finger back out and in one swift movement he puts his finger between his lips, quickly sucking your arousal off his finger, like it’s a mindless, habitual thing for him, like he’s sneaking a taste of his meal before he digs into it. His hands reach for the waistband sitting on your hips, pulling the lacy fabric down, marveling at the dark fabric against your skin as he slowly drags the material down your thighs, his eyes catch the opaque wetness soaking the lace while he pulls them down and he moans shamelessly.

Your eyes widen while you watch him bunch up the material and shove the lace in his back pocket and then his hand lands an affectionate smack to your ass, “Eyes forward, sweetheart.” You tear your eyes away as he brings a firm hand to the small of your back, pressing you down and deepening the arch to his liking, you instinctively drop to your forearms– so pliant and needy for him–he brings his mouth down and sinks his teeth into the lush of your ass in approval.

His hands grab your inner thighs, spreading your legs, now he has full sight of your glistening core, two thick fingers stroke through your folds, “Look at that, she’s so pretty baby. She’s droolin’ down your pretty legs,” his voice low and deep.

His words make your pussy throb, you can’t help the whine you let out, “Joel, please.”

“Please what, pretty girl, use your words,” he commands, his fingers still languidly messaging through your puffy lips, smearing your arousal all over his fingers.

“I need you, please do anything, please,” you mewl, not caring how pathetic you sound.

But still, not enough for Joel. A loud wet smack fills the room as he lays a firm slap to your cunt, your body flinches forward, the edges of your vision blurs and your aching, swollen cunt tingles and clenches at the harsh, yet welcomed contact.

He tuts, “You want my cock that bad, baby, I wanna hear you say it.”

Bastard.

“Joel please, I want your cock. I want it,” you whine and writhe beneath his firm palm.

“Okay, alright, baby, s’all I wanted to hear,” he cooes, his slick-coated fingers now soothing your folds. “I just need to taste her first,” he shifts behind you, sliding down off the bed, his knees creaking as he kneels on the floor, he pulls you back towards the edge of the bed by your thighs. He tilts his head up just enough to dig his teeth into the meat of your upper thigh, just below the curve of your ass cheek and soothes the sting with a wet kiss.

You shiver, you’re aching for him and his mouth is everywhere except for where you need him to be.

Joel’s hands come up to grab the meat of your ass, spreading you open and gently pushing you forward for better access, he brings his mouth to hungrily kiss your inner thighs, tasting the sweet, sticky slick coating your skin and a pitiful moan slips from your lips.

Joel seems to have heard it and that’s all it takes for his lips to make contact with your pussy, your breath hitches in your throat as he flattens his tongue and licks a long, slow swipe through your slicked folds, the first one always drawn out and meticulous and just for him.

You push your hips back into his face causing the tip of his nose to nuzzle into your asshole, you feel him hum in approval at your entrance. Suddenly, nothing else matters; the thick fog of insecurity, the crippling shame and guilt sitting heavy in your chest; it all melts away as a fresh wave of sensation courses through you by the warmth of his mouth on your cunt.

This was always his favorite part, seeking pleasure in you because it brings you pleasure, always doing what makes you feel good. To spread you open before him, having a perfect view of your alluring holes in front of him, just begging for him to devour away (and fill you up). He can spend hours on his knees between your legs and he has, slipping further and further elsewhere as he indulges in you, his lips relishing away at the altar in your hips.

A pressure already begins to pull taut low in your belly, you’re squirming in his grasp but his hands move to firmly grip your outer thighs, keeping you open for him and pressed flush against his eager mouth. He doesn’t go easy on you like he usually does. He fucking laves at you, devouring and savouring you like he’d never get the chance again. The vibrations from occasional muffled moans and groans against your pussy make you chant his name over and over like a prayer, even though he’s the one on his knees.

You can feel him push his tongue into your hole, fucking you with it, then he moves to swirl the tip of his tongue tightly against your puffy clit, “Oh god, Joel, fuck,” you moan out, your eyes roll back into your head as the coil inside your belly wounds up so tight every muscle in your body tenses. You start grinding your hips back into his face, he groans in response and loosens his grip on your legs, letting you take what you need from him.

He flattens his tongue against your clit before he closes his lips around it, suckling it into his mouth and moaning around it, the vibrations from his mouth makes the coil in your belly snap, and you cry out, using the sheets beneath you to stifle the noises slipping through your lips.

With his mouth still latched onto your throbbing cunt, he keeps going.

“Fuck, Joel, I can’t–” it’s too much and you’re too weak, a trembling mess on the mattress, so you attempt to close your legs but the strong grip he has on your thighs doesn’t allow you to move, it only goads him further.

He licks a thick, languid stripe through your heat all the way up until his tongue prods at the tight ring of muscle, again, your legs threaten to close but the firm grip of his hands keeps you wide open for him, he swirls his tongue in a tight circle around your puckered rim, “Joel–” your gasp is cut off by his white, hot mouth taking its place right back on your clit, not giving you any time to recover.

The tip of his tongue works small, tight circles on your clit around and around, only this time with more pressure than before and within minutes or seconds–you don’t really know at this point–you feel the pressure building in your belly and it’s growing stronger by every lick and suck from his mouth. His tongue flicks over your clit before he licks it into his mouth once more, closing his lips tightly, he gives it one last tight circle of his tongue and suckle to your clit and you break, your second orgasm crashes over you.

A choked moan escapes you, your legs quiver as they threaten to close while your hands fist the sheets beside your head, the grip he has on your thighs holds you open for him while you come all over his mouth and he laps you up, savoring, slurping, and swallowing down everything you give him.

Milliseconds pass and he shifts behind you, lost in the haze of your orgasm, you can faintly hear the popping of his knees coupled with a grunt behind you as he stands up. He leans forward, kneading your ass in his palms before bending down to lay another bite on your other cheek, this time with more fervor, leaving a mark, your skin tingles.

Joel positions himself right against your ass and places his hands on your hips again and squeezes, “I love all of ya, baby, but this right here,” he grips more firmly at the flesh on your hips again, “Fuck– these kill me,” he mumbles, almost entirely to himself.

“Joel, please, I need you inside me,” you beg and shiver in his grasp.

He stays quiet behind you, too enticed by the sight of your weeping pussy in front of him. You think you can hear the metallic clink of his belt as it drops to the floor and the buzz of the zipper of his jeans coming undone, the sounds make you clench around emptiness, Joel catches sight of it, a lustful groan slips out of him, a guttural sound from deep within his chest. You’re always so needy, so eager to be full of him and he’ll never get enough of it.

He keeps one hand on your ass, the other wrapped around his cock as he swipes it once through your folds, wetting his dick with your arousal, earning a quiet whimper from you at the sudden contact. He draws his hips back slightly and finally notches the wide head of his cock into with your awaiting hole, groaning in unison as his tip stretches you open, “Christ, always so fuckin’ tight,” spitting through his teeth.

His other hand moves to your hip to hold you in place as he sinks into you with one languid, long thrust, sliding himself in as deep as he can, he feels his tip hit resistance and his breath hitches in his throat, he stills for a moment, enthralled at the sight of his cock nestled in at the very end of you, completely bottomed out in your dripping cunt, “Fuck–there you go, pussy’s suckin’ me right in, sweetheart. This perfect fuckin’ pussy,” he grits as the grip he has on your hips tightens, his fingertips digging into the soft tenderness of your hips.

One of his hands sneaks its way to your front and he grabs your breast beneath the neckline of your dress, he kneads it and pinches your nipple between his calloused fingers, then he pulls the neckline down along with your bra, freeing your breasts from the constricting cups, he palms them roughly before leaving them to sway, all bare and heavy, “Look so goddamn perfect bent over for me like this, I wanted to fuck you in this slutty dress all night, fuckin’ couldn’t get it outta my head,” he pants heavily, his hand returns to grip your hip as he begins rocking his hips forward, “Drivin’ me fuckin’ crazy, baby.”

You curse lowly as you shift to deepen the arch in your back–you need to feel him closer–you straighten your arms out in front of you, your hands latch on to the edge of the mattress, your chest now pressed to your thighs and hiking your ass higher in the air for him, changing the angle as your body folds in on itself and earning a low groan from Joel, a sound that rumbles deep in his throat, “Sweet Jesus, that’s good, just like that baby, always so good f’me,” he’s babbling under his breath. The palm of his other hand finds the small of your back, “Tell me how it feels,” Joel grits, his voice thick and breathy as his thrusts pick up the pace.

“F–feels so good, Joel,” you sob, and it’s true, every time feels like the first time even after all these years; he had bent you over, pressed his large hand between your shoulder blades, kicked apart your legs with his knees and when his hand found the base of your neck, he pressed your face into the wooden floorboards and stretched you open, fucking you with ruthless abandon, using your body to get himself off, dulling the agonizing memories and unspeakable horrors that had forced his hand. His unforgiving pace, your face scraping along the hardwood floor, his brutal thrusts that kept your cunt sore for days on end, none of that mattered to you, in a way you were using him too, your insides just desperate and aching to be filled and all you could do was take it, your body completely succumbing to him and accepting his girth, ‘s like you were made for me, his breath hot and heavy as the words buzzed in the shell of your ear.

His deep voice breaks through the loop of ecstasy, redrawing your attention to the moment, “Takin’ my cock so well, this pussy’s so fuckin’ good, she’s so good to me,” he grits, both of his hands now keeping a bruising grip on your hips as he drives your hips back to meet his, pulling you back onto his cock, the slapping of his hips against the plush of your ass echoes loudly in the room. You press your face into the sheets as your moans grow louder while he drives his cock in and out of you, “Those men…’f they had a woman like you…fuck–they don’t deserve that,” Joel rambles gruffly in between his harsh, unrelenting thrusts, “We’ll show ‘em how a real man fucks his girl, I’ll fuckin’ show ‘em, I’ll show ‘em.”

Oh god. Sparks ignite a fire that roils low in your belly, you’ll never get used to how talkative he is while he loses himself in you.

“Oh–fuck, Joel, don’t stop, don’t stop,” your words come out choked, the flow of air to your lungs suspended as he punches himself into you, your fingers dig into the mattress in attempt to anchor yourself.

“I know, baby, I know, just take it,” he hisses through his teeth. “This tight pussy only made to take my cock, ain’t that right?”

His words are swallowed up by the obscene squelches of your cunt as it grips his cock while he slams into you. When he doesn’t get a response from you he lands a firm slap to your ass, this time with more force, your skin tingles beneath his hand, “Yes, Joel—fuck—yes–yes,” you moan breathlessly, completely lost in a dizzying haze of pleasure.

“‘S’right, she’s mine, all fuckin’ mine,” Joel snarls, his thrusts grow more aggressive, you fist the sheets beneath you–the possessiveness in his words, the firm grip on your hips pulling you back to fuck you onto his cock–slowly, you can feel the fire in your belly making its way to curl around the base of your spine.

He tightens his grip on your hips once again, you can feel his fingernails digging into your soft skin, you crane your neck to peer behind you, spotting the small indents beneath his fingertips forming on your hips, leaving more evidence of himself on your body. You know they’ll be there in the morning. A low, breathy moan slips between your lips at the thought. Your hooded eyes flicker up to his face, he looks wrecked; his gray curls cling to his forehead as a sheen of sweat covers his skin, his cheeks flushed a shade of cherry red that extends down to his neck and tanned chest, his pupils are blown out so wide they’re almost black, locked in on his length going in and out of your drippy cunt. His eyes flicker up to watch the ripple of your ass as he pummels his cock into you and it drives him over the edge.

You didn’t think he could get more relentless, yet somehow he does.

He releases the firm grip he has on your hips and slides his hands to your ass cheeks, he glides his hands over the curve of your ass and again, he brings one palm down in a harsh slap, you make a muffled sound against the sheets. His fingers span over the globe of your ass, palming your ass cheeks and grabbing them tightly, squeezing the tender flesh, he groans loudly as he pulls them apart further, splitting you open even more for him, fucking you deeper, all you can do is whimper into the mattress.

“Goddamn, you’re perfect, so fuckin’ perfect,” he rasps, his chest heaves as ragged, throaty moans escape him. Unable to stop himself, he squeezes down on your ass cheeks with more vigor as he unravels and pounds into you relentlessly, his thrusts brutal against you and the tip of his cock now punching your cervix.

You clench around him, a sign that you're close, and he reaches around your front, he presses his fingers into your very sensitive, very swollen clit and starts rubbing tight circles over the bundle of nerves, bringing you to the edge of your release.

The lick of heat sneaks its way up your spine, dispersing itself along your nerves, setting your skin on fire, “Shit, Joel, m’gonna come,” you gasp, your voice all cracked and your breath ragged, unable to breathe as your lungs search desperately for respite, a low static buzz begins to ring in your ears.

Somewhere distant in the endless loop of euphoric haze you hear his voice, deep and rough, “Come for me, need to feel this slutty pussy come on my cock.” A high-pitched moan spills from your lips, your eyes slip closed as your walls flutter and gush around him, your clit sore and throbbing beneath his fingers, your body convulsing in aftershocks as your orgasm erupts and smothers you entirely.

“There you go, attagirl, my perfect girl, comin’ all over my cock,” he talks you through the trance of your pleasure. Your pussy clenches down around his length again, bringing him to his own release and he pants, “Baby, need you to turn over—shit, m’gonna–”

In an attempt to bring yourself up on your shaky arms, you push your hips back into his, Joel hisses through his teeth in response. His hands fly to your hips, steadying himself–shitshitshit–he loses his rhythm as his own orgasm rips right through him, his thick cock pulsing and spasming inside your messy, used cunt, his frame shuddering behind you as he spills inside you. You reach an arm back behind you, grasping onto a hand that’s glued to your hip, his fingers intertwine with yours without hesitation, desperately grounding himself as he groans painfully, long and drawn out while he fucks the last of his seed into the deepest parts of you, filling you to the brim.

His entire form gives out, falling forward over you, pressing his entire weight into yours, the two of you collapse onto the bed, he drops his forehead, damp with sweat, to your back as his body goes limp over you. He exhales heavily, his warm breath against your skin sends shivers down your spine, he presses a tender kiss to the nape of your neck while his hands find your hips again, quivering as he pulls his sensitive cock out of your wasted pussy with a loud grunt, earning a lewd, wet sound once he completely pulls his length out.

Joel sits up and leans back, his hands grab your legs keeping you spread open for him, he gawks at the flutter and clench of your leaking hole as his white milky spend drools out of you and he groans, “Oh fuck me, that’s a pretty sight right there, my girl’s fucked all full o’me.”

“Shut up,” you huff a quiet laugh and shut your legs, he lays a playful slap to your ass, eliciting a tiny squeal from you. Joel stands up and strides off to the bathroom while you crawl up the bed, laying your head against the pillows, the sound of running water in the background as your eyes slip closed, sinking into the blissful haze of the afterglow.

You feel his presence returning, he wraps his hands around your knees and pulls apart your legs, spreading you wide once more and he freezes, “Fuck,” you hear him groan above you. You open your eyes, hazy and hooded, to find him standing between your legs with nothing on but a pair of loose fitting sleep pants, no underwear, a wet rag in hand, mesmerized by the slow flow of his cum dribbling out of your hole.

He’s completely forgotten what the hell he’s supposed to be doing.

“Do you need me to do it,” you tease with a small smile, a devious glint in your eyes as you look up at him.

His eyes flicker back up to meet yours, “Keep bein’ smart with me n’ I’ll stuff that pretty mouth of yours,” he quips.

You grin at him while he drags the damp cloth through your swollen sex. He taps the side of your arm lightly and you sit up, his hands grab at the material bunched around your waistline, as you lift your arms up in the air, he pulls the fabric over your head and your body shimmies its way out of it. His eyes never leave yours as his large hands reach around your back to unhook your bra, pulling the straps from your shoulders, leaving you bare as he scrunches up your clothes and the messy rag soaked in your combined releases and returns to the bathroom. You lie back down again and slip beneath the covers, the back of your head resting on one of his pillows.

Joel saunters back into the room, “Scoot,” he motions with his hand and you do, he slides in beside you and pulls the blankets up to cover your middle. As expected, he tugs you closer to him, tucking you into his side, you instantly hoist one of your legs over the top of his strong thighs, one of your hands rests over his chest, feeling the strong thump of his heart beneath your hand.

As the thick haze fades, your lips part, your voice barely above a whisper, “Thank you,” your fingers gliding over the patch of gray hair spanning across his chest, following the trail down the soft swell of his belly while his fingers softly trace down the slope of your side, fingertips following the curve of your body beneath the blankets.

He presses his lips to the top of your head and he whispers, “I’ll fuck you like that every night f’it means showin’ you how fuckin’ perfect you are.”

Your lips twitch, a hint of a smirk on your face as you press your face into his chest and hum, “Just admit you’re a dirty old man, will you?”

Joel laughs lightly but doesn’t deny it, he peers down at you with nothing but adoration and a genuine smile, “Never said I wasn’t, baby, n’ don’t act like you don’t love it.”

‘I do, and I love you,” you bring your hand up to scratch his gray beard before tilting your head up to his and press an open mouthed kiss to his lips, tasting the flavor of your pussy on his tongue, you hum into his mouth, all dazed and content.

“I love you, honey,” his other hand drags gently along the crown of your head, his thumb resting on your cheek, stroking it as he brushes his nose along your cheek. You can feel his lips turn up into a smile against your skin, “Maybe, I need to get ourselves some rings, that oughta keep ‘em away.”

You smack him lightly on his chest, “You think you’re real funny don’t you?”

He laughs, loud and deep, his perfect soft, pudgy belly jiggling beneath your knee, his fingers grazing down your back, “M’just sayin’, s’an option.”

You chuckle. “Whatever you say, Miller.”

thanks for reading xx

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x plus size reader #joel miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #tlou one shot #tw: fatphobia #jackson!joel x reader #jackson!joel x f!reader #noelle does things out of spite!#noelle's workshop

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wave2gyuvin · 9 months

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poll for soulmate au fic with gyuricky as love interests + multiple endings !! ( i have an old poll for context if wanted ) please pick who the reader’s bff is gonna be bc i’m actually so indecisive ( if the polls weren’t obvious enough 😞 ) way too excited to write this i need to calm down 😭😭

only open for a day bc i wanna write this out asap while i still have my break !! 🙏

#zb1 #zerobaseone #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 x reader #zb1 fluff #zb1 angst #gyuvin x reader #ricky x reader

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cocogukkie · 3 years

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2021: kdramas in review (the heartwarming, the frustrating, and the sob-worthy)

it is indeed, once again, december 31st and I am back with kdramas-in-review ✨2021 edition✨ (it is 8 pm as i write this so *high fives myself*)

this year has been a pretty good kdrama year (if we ignore the fact that I didn’t watch a single thing this december) I ended up having watched 54 dramas! plus a rewatch. thats pretty darn good if I do say so myself, also really highlights how little I accomplished this year lmao. just stayed at home and watched tv, truly inspiring.

this year was chock-full of major hits and major misses for me and unfortunately i’ve got some super popular ones as ones that I think were kinda bad *runs and hides* now disclaimer my friends, these are my opinions and you are very welcome to think i’m wrong! and thats okay!! I watched all of these in 2021 but not all of them were released in 2021. (quite a few of these have multiple answers bc im indecisive like that)

(theres only 10 gifs in this bc tumblr cut me off at ten, how long was this a thing?? 😭😭how rude)

most heartwarming drama of the year

Racket Boys (2021)

this drama was so slept on!! its AMAZING YALL! it is genuinely the sweetest, most relatable, wholesome drama about friendship and all the dynamics that come with that. it's about first loves and the painful wonderful awkwardness of it all, it's about parents going through their own issues, them realizing they might be hurting their kids and wanting to do better for them, working towards actually listening to their kids and adapting and growing. it's about community and being there for others. It's genuinely so so good and everyone should watch it. the child actors are incredibly talented and i’m def going to be following their careers in the future.

Navillera (2021)

another absolute banger my dears, this was a beautiful drama and i loved it from the first ep. it's about going after your dreams, whether you’re young or older, and achieving them to the best of your capabilities. It's also about finding what you want to do in life, especially when you don’t have a specific dream. it's about the dichotomy of loving your parents even when they’ve failed you and deciding what level of a relationship you want with them. its found family and platonic m/f friendships and the pains of growing old and the tragedy that is alzheimers. navillera made me cry because of how absolutely beautiful and heartwarming it was. 10/10 recommend.

drama(s) that made me SOB

(a smidge of spoiler territory for this section!!)

Youth of May (2021)

ahhhh hahahah i fucking sobbed. there's no way around it. this devastated me, ESPECIALLY because of how much i loved the characters and rooted for them and their happiness. myung hee and hee tae are two characters that are doing their best despite the situations they are born into and the expectations surrounding them in 1980s korea. this drama is joyful and painful all in 12 episodes and it hurt. it's about the gwangju uprising and the devastation that followed, so trigger warning for a lot of death. if you want just the happy adorable bits, just watch the first 6 eps and don’t touch the last 6 w a 50 ft pole.

Move to Heaven (2021)

wooo another sob fest occurred this whole drama. i think i cried through half the show? i accidentally ended up binging it because of how good it was. so i’d watch a few episodes, cry my eyes out, get a break from another episode, and then the next one had me weeping again. this is about geu ru (who is also autistic) who worked with his father as a trauma cleaner. his father passes away in the first episode and geu ru has to process his grief while also dealing with meeting his estranged uncle. this was an excellent look at societal issues in korea, what grieving looks like on different people in various circumstances, how people even process their grief. so many stories in this were so touching and heartbreaking while also being incredibly heartwarming.

dramas with chemistry royalty (aka the best couples)

Run On (2020-2021)

this ended in 2021 so i count it as watching it this year! seon gyeom and mi joo are the realest couple out there, these two are so wonderful and adorable while also showcasing the awkwardness in adult relationships and how miscommunication can be solved with… communication. they care about each other deeply while also not intruding on each other, respecting each other's boundaries, promoting that self love is the key to happiness and a long-lasting relationship. just so cute and precious.

Vincenzo (2021)

these dorks!! our lawyer power couple, absolute icons. their fashion and one-liners are enough to kill em dead. they are so so funny and are partners in the truest sense (which is my actual lifeblood). they bicker and didn’t really like each other at first, before we got them slowly moving to friendship! then partners/best friends!! then mutual pining!! its truly beautiful. vincenzo isn’t a romance (sad days) so our babies don’t get together till the very end but the journey was so much fun that i didn’t care at all.

Youth of May (2021)

i loved myung hee and hee tae and their relationship was precious and loving and funny and full of banter. they’re both absolute sweethearts and i want to be best friends with both of them. i related to myung hee so much, especially with the love she has for her younger brother. she is so brave and kind and hee tae is so smart and funny, they were perfect for each other. they were each other's chosen family and I just thought that was beautiful.

Doom at Your Service (2021)

another banter-filled, adorable, dorky couple! can you tell I have a specific type lol. these two were precious!! they supported each other, they were so goddamn funny together. their senses of humor matched perfectly and i laughed so much with them. dong kyung was relatable and myeol mang was wholly there to be a complete simp for her (as i think we all were). their relationship was honestly the driving force of this show (the plot is a little not really there and i didn’t love the side couple situation)

Happiness (2021)

MY BABIES <33333 i just finished watching this one and i. loved. them. they’re best friends to lovers with a marriage of convenience and seemingly unrequited pining but it's requited!! *sobs in happiness* (lol get it)

they’re partners, they care about and understand each other on a deep level. they know each other better than the back of their own hands, they support one another from episode 1, they were married! before they even realized it. just perfection. happiness is a mystery/thriller and these two absolutely stole the whole show.

best OST

Hospital Playlist 2 (2021)

I have to give this to hosplay because i genuinely have added almost every single song from season 2 onto my playlist. my personal favorite is Running in the sky by HYNN, i had this on repeat for like a month.

most frustrating/disappointing drama of the year

Sisyphus: The Myth (2021)

ahhh where to even start with this one…. first off, it was jtbc’s special anniversary drama which meant it was supposed to be,,,, i dunno,, good? and it was good at first. and then it got worse and worse and worse. i don’t think anyone really watched this one and tbh i wish i was one of them. the story is ridiculous, the ending is ridiculous, the whole thing failed to come to any sort of conclusion. the character work was atrocious. just nope. save your time and energy. if you watched this and want to read my rant after i finished it click here lol

dramas that fridged their female characters for ✨man pain✨

this was a weird thing i noticed this year in dramas and i did not like it. i thought we were over doing this shit but i guess not. spoilers ahead!

The Devil Judge (2021)

um i know a lot of people loved this but i didn’t. i get why others do, but i just couldn’t get over the writers for this one killing off half their female characters?? (all their main lead women btw) all for man pain??? or furthering a male plotline. like… please. soo hyun? dead for ga on’s pain. sun ah? dead. cause she gives up or her love for yo han or something?? i dunno man. even kyung hee got killed off to further the plot. at least elijah and jin joo didn't die *sigh*. my problem isn't that these women are dead, it's that only one male character died to further the plot and he was a supporting character. the scales are not even.

Jirisan (2021)

another one where almost every woman died to further the plot, except jirisan is even worse than the devil judge. bc in devil judge at least 2 survived. in jirisan, every woman in the title credit scenes except our female lead dies! all of them!! the fuck?? yang sun? dead. da won? dead. the grandma? dead. i cannot. none of the men died, just why. me no likey.

dramas that everyone else liked but the story devolved into nonsense (for me!!)

Mouse (2021)

pffft this show was ridiculous by the end. i actually really loved it for the first 10 eps, thought it was really interesting and engaging. and then the last 10 eps were dragged out, the story devolved into nonsense, things conveniently happened to move plot points along, the supposed “science” behind psychopaths got convoluted and don’t get me started on the amount of random brain surgeries occurring. as if the brain isn’t the most complicated part of our body. i have to laugh, truly. if you wanna give this a chance, go for it. but be prepared to suspend your disbelief all the way to jupiter.

Devil Judge (2021)

putting aside the fridging of female characters, uhh the story got so dragged out and boring by the end? was it just me? i was so bored the last 6 eps, the whole televised court system thing got repetitive and the points they bring up are really obvious ones?? at least to me. i didn’t love yo han like so many others so that's probably why i didn’t like it. again, give this a go if you wanna try it but be prepared for a lot of political jabber.

my favorite kdrama women this year

Kang Sol A: Law School (2021)

my queen, my girl, my ride or die. I love kang sol with my whole ass heart, i relate to this girl on a molecular level. i too suck at studying, i too am clueless to blatant flirting, i too will defend my friends to the death, i too wish to be as smart as her. she proves over and over again that tests don’t prove shit and her genius is shown through application and how she treats others. law school also has one of my favorite female friendships of all time, 💞💞💞ye seul x kang sol 💞💞💞

Ji Woo: My Name (2021)

i want to both hug jiwoo and be her best friend. she needs one very much and i am all too willing to provide. she was amazing to watch, her drive is inspiring, her story was heartbreaking. shes a complicated messy wonderful smart human being

Saebom: Happiness (2021)

if saebom stomped all over me, i would thank her. she is so smart, a complete and total badass. she’s also a lil weirdo and i love her for it. she cares about others but she’s not willing to let herself be emotionally trampled for it. she knows her boundaries and she protects them as well as being a fighter for the boundaries of those she cared about. i adore her.

Myung Hee: Youth of May (2021)

myung hee… my girl… she is a protective older sister who puts the needs of others above her own and wow do i relate. she has a tumultuous relationship with her dad and is a single female in 1980s gwangju trying to be independent and support herself. she works on trying to put herself first while also caring about her family. she is selfless and helping others is her life (she’s a nurse). again, i love her dearly. one of my favorite female characters.

overall favorite romance

Hye Jin & Du Sik: Hometown Cha Cha Cha (2021)

here they are!! my king and queen in all their glory!!!! if you know me or follow my blog, you know how much i love these two. they 100% could have also gone into chemistry royalty but i thought that list was getting long and this section is dedicated to them because that's how much i adore them. they’re bickering/enemies to lovers, they’re absolute perfection. they are perfect for each other, they learn to care about each other's quirks and not to judge one another based on initial perception. they challenge each other to be better, they talk to each other when they have problems. they love each other openly and loudly. they’re just so so great and a joy to watch.

favorite mystery/thrillers

Taxi Driver (2021)

this was so much fun! the vibes were there, the stories were all based on real events in korea which makes it even cooler. it was so engaging and interesting, plus lee je hoon fucking delivered. it felt kinda like leverage but with more trauma and i loved seeing the gang succeed and take down bad guys. i got my brother to watch this and he loved it too

Happiness (2021)

this drama was laced with something, i swear. i could not stop watching it. the vibes, the music, the characters, the fast-paced plot, it was all so so good. watch it!!

favorite netflix kdrama miniseries

D.P. (2021)

these are the 6/8/10 ep minis that netflix has been releasing this year, like; squid game, hellbound, my name, the silent sea, etc…

my personal favorite of the bunch hands down has been D.P.. it talks about an issue i didn’t really know a lot about, the military and its weird politics, rules, rigid structure and how it can really hurt some people (specifically men in this situation). i loved the dynamic between our two main leads, they were funny and kind of sad and heartwarming and engaging. this show broke my heart and im so excited for season 2 whenever it comes out. this drama has a lot of triggers so send me an ask for them (i also have a post)

favorite slice of life dramas

Hospital Playlist 2 (2021)

this season was so funny! i died laughing at so many parts, they really focused on the supporting characters this season rather than an overarching plot. I know other people didn't love it as much as hosplay s1 but i loved this season just as much. plus iksong finally sailed!! clutching my heart over here.

Hometown Cha Cha Cha (2021)

is this a surprise? nope. a beautifully filmed slice of life that explores people and various societal issues in korea. like divorced couples and the impact on their kids, parental death, how pregnant women can get treated by men (more specifically their husbands). it also focuses on regular day-to-day issues like living with loss, letting oneself feel their tragedy rather than bottling it up, opening yourself up to new relationships, not judging based on initial perceptions, being there for others, being kind, and so much more. a wonderful wonderful drama that is near and dear to my heart.

Reply 1988 (2015-2016)

I finally watched this!! I watched it earlier this year and then promptly rewatched it two months later. I adored this drama and the end makes my heart hurt in a good way and I can’t believe it took me this long to watch this. I get the hype, i truly truly get it.

favorite fantasy drama

The Uncanny Counter (2020-2021)

my favorite found family of the year!! this drama was a whole lot of fun with emotional depth and wonderful well-rounded characters, badass fight scenes, and satisfying taking down of bad guys! absolutely loved the relationships between our main 4 characters

Doom At Your Service (2021)

the fantasy elements were a lot of fun, myeol mang was actually a lil scary when he was hunting down bad guys (it was also hot af ngl). doom at your service was really enjoyable and was more a fantasy slice of life? the focus wasn’t really on the supernatural in this one, it was more on dong kyung and her prognosis.

k-movies i really loved

Little Forest (2018)

the quietness of this movie, showing the peace of living in a small village really made me want to live in a quiet town. i LOVED the detail of showing the food being made, it was so peaceful and calm. touches on themes of figuring out what you want to do in life, finding your own path and coming to terms that what you wanted as a kid might not line up with you as an adult.

Train to Busan (2016)

i watched this! extremely behind the trend as always!! and it was so damn good. i cried at this movie too. trust everyone’s reviews and watch this, it is so good.

Extreme Job (2019)

i watched this for honey lee and no regrets, this was funny as fuck. its about cops opening up a chicken restaurant as part of a sting and then being extremely successful at it. its got cool fight scenes, interesting characters, and a hilarious ending.

dramas i'll be starting immediately in 2022

these are the dramas that I just didn’t get a chance to start at the end of 2021 and will be starting immediately (as in tomorrow) bc they just look so good!!

Our Beloved Summer

Inspector Joy

The Kings Affection

Bad And Crazy

The Silent Sea

The Red Sleeve

mydramalist in my bio for every drama i've watched and their specific ratings!

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