#my 6/10 is when I need meds

[softness-and-shattering]

Its normal to need rest after a big day ITS NORMAL TO NEED REST AFTER A BIG DAY

[apocalypticdemon]

man. antidepressants.... good

[ursanic]

.

[lunar-fey]

ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.

but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)

LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!

[danielnelsen]

hi! i currently have an entire $45 ($30 usd) and i’ve been putting off buying my medicine because centrelink is really taking their time renewing my healthcare card so i can’t afford it & i run out in 2 days.

anyone able to help?

pypl is ashtonlove and i have tips enabled on my blog

[inkedhorror]

😓

[phagodyke]

I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.

[binders-and-beanies]

There’s always some sorta fuckin scheduling complication lol

[inkskinned]

it took me 964 applications. i've been counting, but not well. i don't always add every quick-apply to the spreadsheet. this one was five rounds of interviews. saying my elevator pitch like a parrot, peppy and happy. for a long time, i didn't hear anything from them. i thought it was the same as always - they say where did we find you, seem excited, then ghost me. i had sent three follow-up emails hi, just checking in! excited for this opportunity!

i have a master's degree and over 10 years of work in the industry. i've worked 5 jobs at once. i have worked hard and i tried hard my entire life, no matter how burnt out i got or whatever else happened to me. i am the representation of the american dream.

but i'm not a good fit for an entry-level job, i guess, so i get told a lot we just don't think you're be happy. but they fill other positions internally, instead saying - well, there was another candidate who had 6 more days of experience. if i'm lucky, i get this sad little email back from the recruiter, all saying the same thing: we liked you, but we went with another option, good luck job hunting. that is - if i'm lucky, and they even communicate at all with me.

what a waste of fucking time. i've been counting interviews - i am a fucking master total of 42 fucking hours. can you fucking believe. i would have made rent if they'd fucking paid me.

and now nobody does remote, even though this is a job that for the last five years has been remote-completely. now they are paying 14 an hour for a job that used to be 33.50. now they are saying we are looking for rockstars and mean we don't give you health insurance. "we need someone motivated and a little crazy" translates to you will have one day of PTO annually. every job board filled with the same AI-generated bullshit of "our values/join our family/Make Waves With Us". they need to be constantly growing. who knows if they're genuinely hiring.

sometimes i want to write did you know i saved a life once into the cover letter. sometimes i want to put a little secret in there, a little short story about how when i was a kid i used to dream of speaking to my plants. i have the same six conversations with people and answer the same eight questions. sometimes at the end they'll throw something in there that's completely irrelevant. what is my go-to belting song (and yes, they say, there is a wrong answer). what animal would i turn into. what's the most reactive element i've had direct contact with. do i know how to lift an elephant.

964 feels like a nice number, somehow round and pleasing. sometimes i have nightmares where the spreadsheet grows arms and strangles me to death. i saw an old friend in one of these recently; he said the earth will end and you'll still be applying until you run out of breath. 964 is a lot of time to spend filling out an application on a site that doesn't load properly and just steals my information.

one time in desperation i applied for a supermarket position. just anything to make the ends meet, good lord, i'd take anything. i was rejected from it. i'm not, like, proud. i'd take anything so i can afford to live again. and meanwhile, god! our fucking president!

i can't think about it without shaking. i had to beg for help. i paid my own way through college - i have been working (under the table) since i was 12.

nine hundred and sixty-four. and finally! something! and here's the fucking thing: i had to turn it down because it's in your city. how pathetic to think that 2 months ago, i would have agreed to move out to DC, my hands in your hair. my life splashed on your sheets. how pathetic that 2 months ago, you said you wanted me. 964 fucking jobs later, and how pathetic! i can't say yes because my life is entirely different. holy shit.

it's just hell. because god fucking protect you if you have a breakup or a mental breakdown or health issues or need your meds. you can try for a year and still hear fucking nothing from the job market. i have no idea how many times i've said i give up and i still fucking kept doing it. every moment like sandpaper against a raw wound. lowering and lowering my expectations. watching my savings dwindle to nothing. thank you for submitting your application!

back into the frying pan. over and over again.

[lavndrmy]

Mars Signs Observations (Apocalypse Edition)🗡💥

⚡Aries Mars: Yeah they energy is all there physically and mentally these ppl are cool and aggressive the type I would bring to a bear fight or zombie apocalypse they probably the one who got the biggest killed they always prepare to fight but yeah they need to chill once in a while 😂 overall 9/10

⚡Taurus Mars: they're okay its just they always get lazy sometimes it kinda pissed me off? but yeah when they actually do something they give they all the type to have all the food stocks ready but I can always count them in on zombie apocalypse just please don't be slow or you'll get us killed 👀 overall 6/10

⚡Gemini Mars: nah yeah they got all the brain and multiple of tabs in their head so far this is the strategy planner the type who got all the maps memorize and ready the type to find a way out I would probably want them as a driver they probably uses knifes non firearm weapons in a fight yeah they proabably can slice things up 🔪 overall 7/10

⚡Cancer Mars: the caring and most loving these people are the ones who will protect their loved ones in an apocalapse and the one who will include everyone that is left out the type to save someone even if that person has been biten by zombies yeah bad idea bro yall care too much which will ruin us 😭 overall 5/10

⚡Leo Mars: they okay just don't get too much pride in the way the type to find a zombies just cause they bored lol probably the fun one in a group and a LOUD one that talked too much yeah yall get us killed just in days the apocalypse just started but yeah they can fight a good fight 🔥 overall 8/10

⚡Virgo Mars: yeah the freaks probably the one who got all the med kits and food supplies ready everything ready the types to treat someone that been injured or in critical condition they make sure no one is infected but yeah they can't fight for sure but in groups they probably can last long 😂 overall 7/10

⚡Libra Mars: probably the good looking ones out of the survivors but yeah its the apocalypse no one cares the type to still take good care of themselves and bring peace to the group and make sure they look good while they fight yeah no we aint got no time for that and probably can't fight 💋 overall 5/10

⚡Scorpio Mars: the OG the one and only most combative and strategic stealth stalker my fellow scorpio mars all in one yeah we probably can fight till the end badass type of fighter probably has all types of weapon in possession the type to solo survive the apocalypse their survival skills are top tier 🔥 overall 10/10

⚡Sagittarius Mars: yeah this mf can fight they actually have a lot of energy and stamina the one who can keep up and put up a good fight probably the cool looking one while they fight the one who keeps a zombie as a pet or probably torture them for fun 😂 overall 7/10

⚡Capricorn Mars: yeah the group leader the one to lead the group and survives till the end probably will keep you safe and have everything planned out every place secure and safe from any harm probably have the hero mindset in them the one who sacrifices for the sake of the group 👑 overall 10/10

⚡Aquarius Mars: yeah nah not the survival type probably will survives after the apocalapse end lol just kidding they probably the type to keep all the electronic working and the computer working or radio but yeah they can't fight probably become an archer if they are given the options of weapon 🎯 overall 6/10

⚡Pisces Mars: yeah no just no 3 days into the apocalypse yall probably already dead the first one to be infected 😂 overall 4/10

[thepainthereigntheflame]

My insanity over Murderbot continues (I reactivated this tumblr account after reading the books for the first time in January and literally the only think I have searched for since is 'murderbot' ) and I offer a little trailer breakdown. I said a few days ago I wanted to do this and here we are!!

1) Med System

See this thing in the left bottom corner? That's definitely med system monitoring Arada and Bharadwaj. Love that detail!!

2) Habitat

I am obsessed with Rattih and Arada being just 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ Amazing acting 10/10

Also, please note the colored glas of the habitat, we will come back to that in a second.

3) Preservation bubble

Murderbot infornt of the Preservation habitat. The outside seems to have been painted and I want to know by WHOM (I'm voting Rattih initiated it because he seems to maybe have embroidered his clothes).

4) first move in

I believe this is the first look we will get of the planet and Murderbots arrival. Why? Compare this to the screenshot before. The red cable on the left, the mountains to the right. I thought this might be the habitat of the DeltFall group, but the Preservation logo is on it, so that doesn't really make sense.

5) DeltFall

*Kendrick Lamar voice* I see dead people.

Now THIS is DeltFall. Rip to all of them.

6) Murderbot getting its ass beaten

Murderbot is getting its ass beaten and we get our first look at an evil SecUnit! Is it one of the DeltFall ones? I think it's gonna be the 'evil survey' unit, purely based on it being black. Could be a nice visual clue.

7) murderbot babygirl tm

Listen, I have seen people day this line delivery seems off to them, and I get why. To me, it is pretty much perfect tho. "Stay calm. Everything's gonna be alright." It sounds robotic but with just enough push (cant find the right wird rn) behind it that you want to believe Murderbot. This is also how I look when I am trying to convince myself and everyone else that I am totally fine.

More about the fight with Hostile One: (This *almost* made me burn my schnitzel because I was deep in analysis mode.) I went through the fight and originally thought that Murderbot is delivering the killing(?) blow while still being stuck in Hostile Ones mouth. We see it firing the projectile weapon while being clamped in its mouth. However the final blow (in the trailer) is delivered from groundlevel. At that point Murderbot is not in its mouth.

Okay thats it from me. I have watched this trailer so many times but I am trying to manage my insanity at least a little bit. Let me hear what you think tho!! I need to discuss this so so bad.

[popeabbot]

Honey and Jack Rabbits

Summary: Jack Abbot helps you cope with losing your first patient, and you realize you two aren’t very different

I want to start with a very big content warning- this story largely surrounds a pregnant patient who does not survive, if that’s something you cannot read please take care of yourself and find a different story

other cws: PTSD, medical gore, character death, PTSD, suicidal ideation, cursing

Jack Abbot/Fem!resident!reader

*this is a prequel to the relationship between you and Dr. Abbot in Calm before the storm*

wc: 2.8k

—

You were on day shift rotation, a R2 who’d just started at PTMC a few weeks ago. So why were you rolling into the ER on a gurney at 3 in the morning?

—

After fighting nightmares off and on, you decided to get up and go for a run. Sure being a woman running at 3am probably wasn’t smart but you lived on the safer side of Pittsburg, and always ran with a switchblade.

You jogged through the quiet streets. Normally you’d wear headphones but not tonight. The cold air prickled your bare shoulders, beads of sweat rolled down your face. Push harder. Run faster. Be better.

Be better.

That has been your motto since med school, be the very best, but be better. You were top of your class and the best med student in your rotation, now you’d been a resident for 2 years with incredible marks and no patients lost. But it was never good enough for you, you always had to find ways to do better. Be the best doctor you can be. That’s all you’ve ever wanted.

The sound of yelling snaps you out of your thoughts, you look across the street to see a group of people standing around a woman laying on the ground.

“Is she hurt?” You yell across the street.

“She needs a doctor! She’s pregnant and just passed out. I can't wake her up!” A woman yells back, pain and desperation clear in her tone. You bolt across the street, missing getting hit by a hair.

The woman looked like she was in bad shape, the streetlights illuminating her glassy skin.

“Do you know her?” You ask the woman who yelled at you, now kneeling at the pregnant woman’s side.

“She’s my sister, Amber.”

“Amber, can you hear me?” You placed two fingers to her pulse point. Nothing.

“Okay, I need you to call 9-1-1, how long has she been down?”

“Just before you called over. Thank god you came over!” The woman cried, reaching for her phone.

You were now assessing a patient, on the sidewalk, in the middle of the night. Rubbing your knuckles firmly against her chest you tried to wake the woman.

“Amber? Amber, can you hear me? I need you to wake up!!”

No response. You immediately went into action starting chest compressions, Amber was big, maybe 34 weeks going off what you could see when you removed her coat.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

No pulse.

“Where’s that ambo?!”

“They said they’ll be 10 minutes out.”

You cursed under your breath. A pool of blood started to spill out from under Ambers head. Not good.

“Were you with her when she fell?” You asked through compressions.

“No, we’ve been walking at night to help her acid reflux and I ran into the CVS to get her something for the pain, when I came back she fell, I tried to catch her I wasn’t fast enough.” She sobbed.

“Tell me your name.”

“U-Um it’s Caitlin.”

“Hi Caitlin, I need you to fold Amber's jacket and place it under her head, we need to put pressure where she hit.

The amount of blood was becoming concerning, but you had to keep compressions going, the baby had a chance as long as you could keep the sensation of her heart going…right? A man ran out from the pharmacy with an oxygen bag and kneeled next to you, beginning to bag the woman.

“Should I get the AED?” He asked. You nodded your head furiously, stopping compressions to rip her shirt open. When he came back you placed the patches to her chest and side. The man turned on the AED and charged it. “It’s ready.”

“Clear!” You pulled your hands back, the woman’s body jolted but there was still no sign of a pulse. So you went back to compressions. After a few minutes you shocked her again but nothing. “Damnit…”

“Amber,” Caitlin cried, stroking her sister's hair, “I need you to wake up.”

You cursed silently, your arms beginning to get sore, but you had to push through. Three people were counting on you. Suddenly you got a crazy idea, you looked down at the first aid kid you’d been brought and saw an Epi pen, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“Caitlin,” you looked at Amber's sister, “does Amber have any medical allergies? Medications, anything?” She shook her head no. You turned and grabbed the epi pen, flipping the cap off and injecting into Amber's thigh. “Shock her again.” You took your hands off Ambers body as she was shocked once again.

Fuck. Nothing.

She needed to be in an ER. You started compressions again as the Ambulance rolled up. Two paramedics you knew, Cash and Landon, jumped out.

“Hey doc! Whatcha got?” Cash asked pulling a gurney out as Landon grabbed a med kit.

“Female, 20s, sister said she’s been having acid reflux but she passed out on their walk. No pulse for 10 minutes. We shocked her 3 times, continuing with CPR and bagging her. She has a head injury from her fall but nothing I can see that would make her pass out.” Cash nodded as he examined the woman.

“Straddle her and come with us, keep doing CPR.” Cash instructed as he and Landon moved Amber onto a transfer board. They put a C-collar on her, strapped her chest, your back legs and hers and loaded the three of you in the ambulance. The man who helped you stayed behind.

Cash worked quickly to hook her up to the monitors but nothing had changed, another paramedic sat at her head bagging her.

“We’re not getting anything.” Cash muttered loud enough for you to hear but not Caitlin.

“We can’t stop. Check for a fetal heartbeat, I couldn’t find one but I don’t carry stethoscopes on my runs.”

“Maybe you should start,” Cash joked, maneuvering around you to place a stethoscope on the woman’s belly. “Holy shit…it’s weak but we’ve got one!”

“Hear that Caitlin?” You asked, losing air quickly from the rigorous CPR, “the baby’s still with us. Hold onto that.”

Maybe you were saying that to her, maybe you were saying it to yourself. It brought comfort all the same. The ambulance came to a halt in front of the er, the paramedics unloaded you, Dr. Abbot was waiting with a team. Cash relayed the information you’d given him and added that there was still a fetal heartbeat as you were rolled into the er and a trauma room.

“How long as you been doing CPR kid?” Dr Abbot asked entering the trauma room, watching the muscles in your arms spasm.

“20 minutes, maybe more,” you huffed, moving to the side of Amber but still doing compressions, you glanced over as Abbot began to intubate. You hadn’t worked the night shift yet but you’d heard how good of a doctor he was. Quick, efficient, his hands moved to grab things but he never took his eyes off the patient. It was also like he had another set of eyes to look around for him. Once Amber was intubated you stopped compressions, you stepped down and grabbed a pair of gloves and a gown.

“What are you doing?” Abbot asked.

“Helping. She’s my patient. I need to make sure I finish her care.” You stated, he turned to stare at you. His hazel eyes almost bore into your soul.

“You should go home,” he offered gently.

“No.” You turned back to stare at him. “Not till it’s done.” He turned back and yelled at someone to page the NICU. They would need an incubator. The baby was weak; they needed to get it topside as fast as possible. “What do we do for mom while we get the baby out?”

“Nothing,” Abbot stated plainly, “you did what you could but she’s gone. Baby’s top priority now.” Your heart stopped. The great Doctor Abbot just told you he would do nothing for the mother you’ve been trying to save. Nothing.

“Hand me a 10 blade, we need to get this baby topside now.” You did what he asked, your body going numb as you watched him make an incision at the base of her stomach.

The baby’s heartbeat and oxygen tanked, you were mesmerized by his agility.

“Grab the baby and assess,” he shouted as he handed you a tiny infant. But it wasn’t crying, wails of life should’ve entered that room the minute the baby came out but it was silent.

“Come on baby girl,” you muttered, flipping the baby on her back, rubbing it forcefully. “I-I think she just needs a boost, she's okay.” Your voice faltered. You’d already lost one patient today, you weren’t about to lose another one. Finally a wail escaped her lips, the ragged cries a sign of healthy lungs. You laughed in relief, laying the baby down to check her.

“Heartbeats good, lungs appear to be healthy albeit she’s early. But she’s strong. A fighter.”

A NICU nurse came in and took the baby from you, cleaning her and wrapping her in a blanket.

“We’ll get her hooked up to monitors upstairs ...anyone we can call?” The nurse asked, eyes glancing to the mother on the table.

“Her aunt, Caitlin, is in the waiting room. I need to talk to her and I’ll send her your way.” You speak up, voice firm. You were happy the baby was alive but now you had to deliver the worst news of the day. ‘Your sister is dead but her baby is alive’

Abbot cleared everyone out of the room but you didn’t move.

“You comin kid?”

“Not yet,” you eyed the cross necklace hanging from Amber’s neck, “I have to do something.” You peeled your gloves off and walked up to Amber, cupping her hand in yours. She was already so cold. Abbot watched as you closed your eyes and prayed, for the safe journey for her soul and the ability to see her daughter grow up from beyond the flesh. You also asked for forgiveness, that you weren’t fast enough, that she’d fallen and you missed her head injury. You prayed that she’d hold your hand through telling her sister she was gone. Finally after taking a moment, you walked away, stripping your gown off too.

“Uh, Morgan?” You timidly approached the nurses station, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Doc….are you okay? We’re not supposed to see you till day shift.” The night shift charge nurse, Morgan, gave you a concerned look.

“Yeah, yeah I came in with that patient, could you put her sister Caitlin in the family room for me?”

Morgan nodded, she reached across the desk and pulled you into a tight hug. Part of you wanted to break down right there but you knew your night wasn’t over yet.

The talk with Caitlin did not go well. Sure she was glad her niece survived but her reaction to losing her sister was understandably horrific. You held her till she just couldn’t cry anymore, then sent her with a nurse to the NICU. Abbot had told you to come see him when you got done notifying the sister….but somehow you ended up on the roof. On the other side of the guardrail.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, legs dangerously far over the ledge. You went through every single detail over and over again. You had to miss something. How could Abbot have immediately declared the mom a lost cause? You’d never lost a patient, and now to lose one in just a traumatic way…

You pulled your knees up, removing the small cross necklace that lay under your tank top. A small prayer, a cry for help. Needing a hand to reach out and save you from the darkness consuming your every thought. Why did bad things have to happen to good people? A child losing her mother before they could even meet, her aunt now saddled with the care of an infant in the midst of losing her sister. You clutched to the cross like a lifeline, like it would save you. It could save you couldn’t it?

“Please God, send me a sign…anything to show me this is where I’m supposed to be.” Your adrenaline was starting to crash, your bones became heavy and as much as you’d like to protest you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning over the guardrail, maybe this was your sign? You closed your eyes, feeling a strange sense of peace.

The sound of quick footsteps got louder behind you, then you felt two strong arms wrap around you, pulling you over the guardrail to safety.

When you opened your eyes they were met with the wild ones of Jack Abbot. His eyes moving erratically, searching every inch of your face. “What the hell were you thinking?!”

“I didn’t mean to.” You protested weakly, “I just wasn’t good enough. I have to be better, I won’t lose them if I’m better.”

“Take a deep breath with me.” You followed his instructions, taking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out. “You know, you remind me of someone I used to know.”

“Really?” You asked, turning your head to look at him. He scoffed slightly, a smile haunting the corners of his lips.

“Yeah. I used to know this bright-eyed kid who had the ambitious idea to join the navy right out of highschool. And then 2 weeks into boot camp; make it his mission to become a Navy SEAL medic. Because he could always find a way to be better.”

As he spoke you fully turned your body to face his, taking in every part of him as he spoke. Spoke of the hardships of every patient who had to die in his arms because he was in the middle of a combat zone and couldn’t fix everything. How he’d write to the families and curse himself for every death. His eyes got dark as he remarked that he would always be stained by the blood on his hands even if he couldn’t see it. You could see the way he held tension in the corners of his eyes, his lips turning down into a frown as he spoke. Why was he telling you this? Opening up to a complete stranger?

“Listen, the morale of this little story is that you’re going to lose people. That’s emergency medicine. The thing you can never do is lose yourself.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve got the heart for this kid, you’re too sweet to become a cynical fool like me.”

You laughed, stopping abruptly to throw your hand over your mouth. “That wasn’t funny, I'm sorry!” Jack cracked a full smile, pulling you into a hug.

“And you should probably stay off the roof, I already claimed this after-shift hiding spot.”

“I would never invade a personal place you go for relief,” you pulled away looking at him earnestly. Jack took a minute to examine your face, your eyes were still rimmed red with tears but he was looking beyond that. There seemed to be a mutual understanding that this wasn’t just Jack comforting you, that wasn’t something he did. Jack was trying to save himself. He saw parts of himself in you that he’d never seen in anyone else.

“You’re too sweet, you know that? I think I found your ER nickname.”

“ER nickname?”

“Yeah, most people have them, yours’ Honey 'cause you’re just so sweet.”

You cracked your first genuine smile of the night. Most people would take that as flirting but you knew Jack wasn’t, the two of you were interlinked in ways you didn’t quite understand yet.

“You don’t have one. Is it ‘cause you’re too cool?”

“It’s actually because everyone’s scared of me,”

“I’m not scared of you, you ran over to me like a Jack Rabbit!!” You exclaimed, “that’s it, Dr. Jack Rabbit!”

Jack scoffed, clearly liking the name but not wanting you to know that. He stood up and extended a hand to you. A hand reaching out to save you from the darkness, a silent prayer answered.

“You’re the only person who gets to call me that, deal?”

You smiled and took his hand, pulling yourself off of the concrete floor. Maybe things would be okay, because you had someone who would always understand you. “Deal.”

Jack wrapped a tight arm around your shoulder and walked with you till you were out of the hospital and to your car, you wouldn’t realize it but he’d slipped his number into your workout pants pocket. He gave you a tight hug, a final grounding, before sending you home. When you got home you found the note in your pocket.

Even Honey needs to be settled every now and then. Keep up the good work -Dr. Jack Rabbit.

-

God had answered your prayers in the form of Jack Abbot, and you would forever be grateful.

an: I was a bit worried to post this due to how heavy it is but honestly I think the severity hit with Jacks character and the way he would help you work through it. In this story you and Jack are platonic soulmates, interlinked in every way, which I think is actually so sweet: as always feel free to leave feedback in the comments. Kisses!

Tag list: @ebodebo @kchronicallyonline @sceletaflores @yuenity @dizzybee03

[whumptember]

Whumptember 2025 Prompt List

here is the prompt list for Whumptember 2025! You can use all four prompts or just one for it to count for the day. Combining prompts across multiple days into one fic is allowed, but make sure that each prompt gets its own time to shine!

Tag fics with #whumptember2025 (no space) for the best chance of it being reblogged

“I was just trying to help” 

Telepathic caretaker | hurt/no comfort| bedroom 

2. “You’ve never understood how important this is to me” 

Bloodied clothes | reluctant hero | crumbling building 

3. “I can’t keep going on like this” 

Shaking hands | wing whump | hospital 

4. “Keep your eyes open!” 

Blood-soaked gauze | car ride to the hospital | back seat of a car

5. “Do it right this time” 

Dagger | returning home | childhood bedroom 

6. “Make it look good” 

Quivering lip | caretaker turned whumper | hotel room 

7. “What’s happening to me?”

Emptied syringe | turning into a monster | laboratory 

8. “How scared should I be right now?” 

Flashing lights | whumper’s return | panic room 

9. “If something had happened to you…” 

Bloodied bandages | captivity | bathroom 

10. “I need your help” 

Torn shirt | amputation | in the middle of nowhere

11. “Start begging and maybe I’ll stop” 

Rusty nail | intimate whumper | dungeon 

12. “Why did you save me?” 

Warm blanket | whumpee in denial | safe house 

13. “You told me you had this handled” 

Broken tooth | in over their head | med bay

14. “I don’t want to do this” 

Scalpel | reluctant whumper | makeshift laboratory 

15. “This doesn’t look safe” 

Old bridge | failed rescue | forest 

16. “Are you sure you don’t need my help?”

Outstretched arm | hero on the run | dark alleyway 

17. “You’re going to get yourself killed acting like this” 

Blood-soaked rag | middle of the night patch-up | small closet 

18. “I don’t see a way out of here” 

Thorny bush | multiple whumpees | labyrinth 

19. “I really wanted this to work” 

Mystery pill | wrong place, wrong time | abandoned building 

20. “You can’t fix me this time” 

Teary eyes | broken-down whumpee | sidewalk of a busy city 

21. “Don’t make me go” 

Packed bag | fever | whumper’s car 

22. “Just leave me alone” 

Closed door | reluctantly cared-for | the foot of the bed 

23. “Just…keep talking to me” 

Phone screen | running out of time | rush hour

24. “I was too late” 

Grave marker | running on fumes | interrogation room 

25. “I don’t know who I am anymore” 

Broken mirror | hiding from their team | supply closet 

26. “I didn’t think I’d get out of there alive” 

Broken lock | successful escape | abandoned mine 

27. “Don’t worry about me, check on the others first” 

Puddle of blood | stoic whumpee | battlefield 

28. “As long as I’m conscious, I’ll fight” 

Broken ribs | bloodied and bruised | medical tent

29. “What do I need to do?” 

Ransom note | middle of the night phone call | parking lot 

30. “When was the last time you slept?” 

Warm drink | traumatized whumpee | kitchen 

Alt. prompts

Haircut 

2. Bear trap

3. Shock collar

4. Hemophobia 

5. Sprained ankle

6. Shaking hands

7. Suspended by chains

8. Ripping fingernails off

9. “You’re still my favorite.”

10. “Will you just shut up and hold my hand?” 

11. “I don’t think I can do this again, not with you.”

12. “I still want to take care of you…even after everything you’ve done.” 

13. “I’ve grown used to people betraying me, but I thought I could always count on you.”

[bomber-grl]

Taking care of you when you’re sick 🤧

Pairing(s): Characters x Gn!sick!Reader (except for Reyna’s)

Character(s): Percy, Annabeth, Grover,Nico, Leo, Frank, Hazel, Jason, Piper, Reyna (platonic)

Me rn:

Percy Jackson

Honestly great at it and it’s honestly not expected but also sort of expected

Hard to explain

But it’s likely that he just brings you back to the apartment he lives in with sally, Paul, and ofc Estelle because even though he sort of doesn’t want to admit it, he needs help

So (imagining you’re super sick) even if you’re a stubborn one, it’s too embarrassing to act up in front of Sally

Someone who is so caring that she makes soup just for you, checks in on you, gives you extra blankets in case, honestly anything really

This transformed more into a Sally taking care of you than Percy but I’m getting there

One day Sally has to go out for an errand and takes Estelle with her, Paul went off to work or something

Leaving you two alone and you basically a burden/j

Also… free to complain all you want

Now if you’re stubborn and make it difficult for him he will fr mock you

Literally why are you being this way when Estelle behaves way better

And she’s a baby

Eventually though, cmon now

Just be willing and maybe he’ll kiss you

As if he isn’t doing so while you doze off on your meds

I’d give him a solid 6/10, not because he’s not my fav character or anything

Of course not

Annabeth Chase

Ideal in theory not in practice

She knows everything there is to know- hell, if she didn’t after years of being a demigod and suffering from injuries then strike me down

Well- no actually I take that back

Annabeth doesn’t actually know a lot aside from when she gets sick

Which happens rarely and goes away as quick as it comes

So now she’s here with you all bundled up-

Also, if you try to be stubborn and act like a big baby, she’s having none of it

You will rest and you will eat to consume your meds

End of story

I don’t make the rules 😭

She will, however, be pleased if you’re happy to comply and get you back to good asap

Although she does bumble a bit at the start- she eventually learns quickly

Which is to be expected

When she first started to struggle with what do to she’s too prideful to ask for help so she settles on asking you how to do well by you

Then she realizes how stupid (or unwise) it was to act that way and decides to just ask any of the Apollo kids she knows won’t tease her

Which is more than half

Only because she knew you’d get worse

I’d give her a solid 7/10

It’s not any longer because she gets to business and gets you healed pretty quick so 🤷

Grover Underwood

I’d say he’s pretty decent at taking care of you too

I mean he probably knows a lot about herbs and stuff that could help you alongside modern medicine that you’re likely taking

Plus when you can’t sleep for whatever reason (*cough*cough* congestion*cough*) he’ll obviously put that humidifier on but also play you a song

Either to help with sleep or just make you feel better

Really depends

Also we all know he’s a saytr

So he’s likely taking care of you despite needing to be elsewhere

And if that duty calls quickly? He feels SO bad 😭 I’m not even exaggerating

He’ll apologize ten times over and try to make up for it

Instead of getting your sleep and rest it just results in you spending that time reassuring Grover

Which, in your opinion, is a time well spent

But not to Grover

Anyways if you’re reluctant to let him take care of you then he’s constantly hassling you to stay resting

Literally got to the point where campers would just see you running by, and see Grover not too behind

Or it’d be you sitting somewhere and Grover trying to convince you why going back would be a good idea

Now, if you’re more than happy to rest and take your medicine?

Absolute angel in Grover’s eyes

Literally makes his life 10000x easier

Him being him, he just ends up helping you heal and recover faster than you normally would’ve otherwise

So honestly? You can try to be stubborn all you want but it’s only going to make you suffer 😭

Not much for him but that’s because besides his nervous energy, he’s probably the best here in terms of actually helping you become unsick

Nico Di Angelo

He’ll try his best to help you out 😭

Which he does a pretty decent job at, all he does is rely on books and what he’s heard from others

So it’s time for Nico to rawdog helping you out because frankly, he’s always been the opposite of a normal person

So, why would he ever get sick?

(Bluds body temperature is probably colder than the Antarctic)

He does the basics like making you drink medicine for your symptoms (e.g. cough, sore throat) and making you soup to the best of his capabilities

If you’re the type of person to be whiny and like to be cared after then he’d sort of tease you for it in his strange little way

Now, if you’re super stubborn and insist on him not helping you-

He takes it personally

Like I’m not even joking

He’ll just side eye you

You’re acting like you weren’t just dying of suffocation before he put the humidifier on a few seconds ago

And he lets that known

So, he asks why you’re being so stubborn and let him spoon feed you‼️

(Only because you ended up being bundled in a blanket burrito and Nico didn’t want to go through putting you in one again afterwards)

Too much hassle

Also applies if you’re being stubborn and he has to forcibly feed you)

He’s honestly getting annoyed at this point so you give him a proposition

You’ll let him take care of you if he gives you cuddles

Now, normally Nico would be so done but he couldn’t resist

So now here you both are underneath the covers

But then Nico ruins it

“Yknow I was gonna cuddle you regardless” (of it you complied or not)

6/10 just for that last comment

(Doing an actual story, will link HERE)

Leo Valdez

Someone please help him

Nah just kidding

Leo is definitely way better with machines than with humans

That’s a fact

But he knew his mom long enough to know the basics of everything

I don’t make the rules, that woman definitely taught him everything there is to know

So here you are on the bed of your room as you hear Leo’s racket going on in the kitchen

Emmie and Jo went out and took a few residents with them, including one of your favorite residents:

Georgina

The ones that stayed behind were either asleep or bundled away under the covers of their beds

(Ignoring those doing chores)

Especially since it was now winter, despite the waystations warmth, a chill seemed to have made it way inside.

Eventually Leo makes his way back up and set down a tray

It had a soup you learned to become familiar with

It was Caldo de Res

So obviously you gobbled that shit up like all the other Mexican foods Leo had made before

Eventually Leo makes you take your medicine because even though he’s all about playing around and stuff, he still likes to care for you

Now, because it’s likely snowing, Leo had to resist and refuse to let you out

You’re already sick, it could get so much worse

But you didn’t listen

Hence you running around like a maniac outside the station yelling as Leo chases you

Afterwards he scolds you but when you point out that fact that he was laughing when he was chasing after you- he shuts up real quick

Leo does realize how boring it probably is for you though so after going back inside he tries to be a source of entertainment for you

He tries to find board games and he luckily does

Which ends with you two moving to the living room (?) or common area

By the time emmie and the other residents return, the tower you built while playing Jenga was sky high and skinny asf

Then Leo crashed it and you both obviously yelled at it

Then Leo got told off for distracting you from resting (although it was done kindly)

Later after dinner, Leo snuck into your room at night and once again began to try to rid you of your boredom

you two began giggling and gossiping in the middle of the night

Then went to bed when someone knocked as kindly asked for you two to quiet down

Leo was embarrassed 💀

Frank Zhang

Surprisingly good at taking care of you

Only saying it’s surprising because I’ve never considered it before

He obviously takes care of your basic needs like meds and just covers you needing anything else like rest or water

If you’re stubborn to actually try to get better- then he’s definitely worried but also confused

Why are you acting this way and also, please just let him help you

Which is honestly sad because even if he’d like to stay by your side for more than a few hours- he really isn’t able to due to praetor duties

I mean it’s a surprise you got a pass on your chores/ duties depending on what your role is

Will definitely feel terrible for having to leave to go do his job but eventually finds someone trusted to look after you

Likely someone indebted to him

(He’d feel a bit sorry for whoever it is if you’re particularly resistful)

Let’s say you actually get sick and there’s no outside forces that can interfere

Frank is a pretty top notch- although a bit anxious - doctor

Likely learned a lot about the healing aspect of Apollo back when being his kid was what Frank wanted most

So he knows a lot from that and is really attentive

After giving you some medicine you had seemingly been knocked out cold so it was natural for Frank to turn down the lights

Before he left the room he decided to give you a kiss on the cheek

You were actually still awake and despite your boyfriends more than accommodating care-

You will be teasing him tomorrow using this instance

Overall I’d give Frank a 9/10

‘He is the worlds most perfect man’

Hazel Levesque

Have you seen her lead the other Roman’s as praetor and even before then ? Yea she’s getting you bundled up and fed

No ifs or buts

This is how she is overall but if you try being stubborn she genuinely doesn’t see why you would be

Like why wouldn’t you want to get better??

Also please don’t sneak out to the weaponry or something because she literally CANT give you special treatment 😭

Despite her seemingly tough demeanor, she really is a fool for you

Not actually- but miss girl is smitten with you

So she sort of takes it easy, occasionally finding her voice and scolding you as lightly as she can

She tries her best to treat you but eventually gets advice and help from others in camp who know more than she does

She ofc knows the basics: consume vitamin c, rest, drink medicine, etc

But she can’t be too sure

I also honestly think she’s way better than Nico, because I didn’t include it but he definitely got some wayward damned spirit to help him out

But not her

Not that that’s bad, but she’s definitely more capable

I do think she bumbled a bit

She had ordered some other campers who specialized in healing to help her out

Before then, she had been taking care of you herself

So when they get there and see her sort of make shift stuff- she’s a bit embarrassed

Yknow, if the blush on her cheeks are anything to go by

Because we’ve already established that she’s better than Nico, I’ll give her a 8/10

Because she’s really good at taking care of you, really caring overall

But 🤷

Jason Grace

Best way to say how he is at taking care of you is mediocre

He isn’t constantly attentive but just the right amount that you feel like it’s enough

Esprit he’s busy with the school he’s attending- then he’ll have to sneak out just to see you and take care of you

If school isn’t in session then he’s more than happy to go over and take care of things for you

Like doing chores, cooking food and actually taking care of you

Doesn’t mind all that much if you try to resist being treated because it’s likely that he’s encountered people who are WAY worse

Ik this is him supposed to be taking care of you but I think it’d be so funny that you’re just constantly in and out of consciousness that you only remember small snippets

In which Jason has to fill in for you and all you remember is Jason in the distance

Pretty out of place but the idea of it is so funny to me 😭

Imagine being so kind and your s/o not remembering any of it

You’d still believe him though, why should you?

Also I said it’s mid but like mid leaning good so I’ll give him a 6/10

Not that he was terrible or anything but just because I feel like it suits him

Idk 😭

Piper Mcclean

THE BEST IM NOT EXAGGERATING

The medicine- eating- cooking part is alright

It isn’t much different from the others averages and not much to take note of in all honesty

But what is really the cherry on top is when after having a mind splitting headache- you’ve finally managed to fall asleep

Being a demigod and all- you immediately hear when Piper enters the room

Each creak the floor board gives continued until Piper has reached the end of the bed

Not that it’s disturbing you in anyway

So there you are snuggled in bed and you feel a weight added next to you where the bed is pushing down

You feel hands massaging your scalp and Piper -knowing how you’ve suffered with head pain- starts to sing for you

It isn’t unknown or unheard of to sing for someone to heal (demigod or non demigod wise)

So when you immediately start to feel better you can feel your would ascending into the heavens

Not actually- because that’d be the opposite affect of the singing but you get what I’m going for

Anyway aside from that she’s really attentive and sweet but I just had that idea come to me strongly idk why

Overall id rate her a 7/10

That’s because her singing is divine but her caring aspect is mediocre

Reyna Ramírez-Arellano x F!Reader (for the first half)

(Ex: realized hunters of Artemis don’t get sick after finishing toa)

Literally legendary at taking care of you

Although she is a bit of a dictator when it comes to you being slippery and running off- it’s still pretty great

She was praetor for how long now? Yea a while so she was bound to have learned some things and after joing the hunters it’s only more reason to

Which if you’re a hunter and sick (only confusing but let’s go with it) you need to get your health back up to be in optimal fighting condition so theres literally no room for being stubborn

You need to get well soon and that’s an order basically

So Reyna will bundle you up, (though seeing as you’re more than happy to be cooperative) its only done to make you warm

(Gn! Reader but still platonic)

Now if this is while Reyna is praetor then she’s still enforced this strict persona

And seeing as she’s here taking care of you-

That’s only more reason to

Unfortunately she won’t really have time (seeing that being praetor is really unsustainable long term with the loss of sleep and sleep schedule changes)

But when she does her presence is soothing and likely the only reason you were able to actually get well pretty fast

I don’t have much besides she knows what she’s doing (likely has gotten stupid colds form stress) and is really serious about it

Would give her a 9.5/10 but I’ll change it to a 10/10 because of how fast you recover

-

A/n: req was originally only asking for Nico but I said why not do the other 9

[bellysoupset]

"Do you hate me or are you gonna keep the beard?" Bella asked, wrapping her arms around Luke's naked back as he stood in front of the mirror after his nightly shower. For once he wasn't shaving clean the five o'clock shadow that hard formed during the day, maybe because of the bruise on his cheek, maybe because he looked particularly sleepy, or even because Bell had been begging him to keep the beard for years now.

"I don't hate you, I just don't like looking like a hobo," Luke yawned, leaning back so she could slot her chin on his shoulder, on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek, "I'm gonna shave in the morning."

"Ah, don't tease me with a good time," Bell nibbled his ear, then pressed another kiss on his cheek, now on the corner of his mouth and letting go off him so she could walk back to the bedroom. She fell flat on the bed, kicking the blankets in order to get under them and smiled as she watched Luke moving around.

He was definitely sleepy, not only because he was a little cranky — none of the jokes or rambles before bed — but because she watched him nearly walk into their dresser twice, yawning the entire time.

"C'mere," Bella grabbed the back of Luke's shirt as he sat down on the bed, staring at his feet like a ventriloquist doll whose cords had been cut, "you big baby, lie down."

"Uhm..." Lucas collapsed back at her yank, causing Bella to fall on her back and giggle, squirming under him so his head was on the pillow and she could tug the blankets over both of them, "you're comfy."

"And you're obnoxiously heavy, Atwood," Bella chuckled, rolling on the bed to turn off their night lamp and then cuddling up against him, "what's gotten into you? Long day?"

"Uh-hum," Luke turned around, burying his face on her neck and throwing a heavy arm around Bella's waist, "my alarm..."

"Uh..." She reached over him, to grab his cellphone on the nightstand and squinted at the sudden brightness, "it's set for 6 AM."

"Gotta shave... Change it-" Lucas yawned once more, "to 5:40, please."

"Ugh," Bella wrinkled her nose, changing the time and then promptly letting go of the device as she curled up around him, sinking into Lucas' warmth.

It was still pretty early for her, only 10:30, but he was so cuddled up to her and the room was all dark, that Bella fell asleep too. She woke up around 1 AM, all alone in the bedroom.

"Uh... Luke?" Bella rubbed her eyes, moving up and grabbing her night robe as she sleepily stumbled into their bathroom. It was all dark and empty too. What the hell.

"Lucas?" Now way more awake, Bella entered their dark hallway. The guest bedroom was empty, as well as the office and the second bathroom. There was a noise downstairs and she frowned, walking down the stairs.

The house was still new enough that she needed the walls as guides, grabbing on the railing for dear life.

The kitchen light was on, so she walked there- And found it empty too, "okay, creepy," Bella scoffed, glancing at the backyard, that was fully dark, only the trees bending as the wind howled away, "Lucas, this isn't fucking funny-"

A hand on her elbow caused Bella to let out a shriek and whirl around, shoving Luke back with all her force. Her husband let out a pained groan, his back hitting the fridge and Bella clutched her chest, heart hammering away in her ears.

"What the fUCK, LUCAS?!" She squealed, planting her hands on her knees, "why did you sneak up on me?!"

"I didn't!" Luke groaned, rubbing his chest and Bella let out a heavy sigh, calming down.

"What were you doing downstairs...?" She eyed him up and down, he was pale and looked like he was in pain, "did I hit you too hard? I'm sorry."

"No, you didn't," Luke winced, squeezing his eyes shut, "my belly is cramping up like crazy, being in bed was making me claustrophobic."

"Oh," Bella's shoulders dropped as she situated herself. He did look ill, "did you take any meds? When did it start?"

"About an hour ago," Luke grimaced, walking back to the dark living room and she followed him, realizing he had been nursing a glass of ginger ale and playing video game on the switch, lying on the couch. She had probably walked right past him, "I've been trying to burp, but its not helping with the pain."

He sat back down and Bella frowned, hitting the living room lights and then circling the couch, cupping his cheeks. He was cold and clammy to the touch.

"Do you think its something you ate?" She combed her fingers through his hair and Luke melted under the touch, burying his face on her thigh as she perched on the couch's arm, "I can get you some pepto, we restocked last week..."

"I tried already," Luke's voice came out muffled by her robe, "first thing... All it did was make my burps taste weird," he pressed a burp against her thigh, grimacing at the gurgly nature of it due to the ginger ale, "I just feel like crap."

"I'm sorry," Bella sighed, continuing to pet his hair, "at least if this is the flu, you'll be in the clear on the wedding, eh?"

Luke let out a snort, "then you shouldn't be snuggling up with me, Bell."

"Too late for that," Bella rolled her eyes, stroking his prickly cheek and his neck, trying to rub away the tension knots, "besides, I'd need to not kiss you for the next five days or so? Not happening."

"You're ridic-" Luke interrupted himself with a nasty burp, pulling away so he could sit up straight and belch on his fist. He shuddered as the last one was particularly wet, swallowing down the ginger ale that rushed up, "gross..."

"Do you want a bowl?" Bella eyed him skeptically. Luke was always so competitive with himself, fighting the nausea to the last minute.

"I'm not nauseous, just a little queasy... And in pain too..."

"Goddammit, Lucas," Bella grumbled, not mad at him, but frustrated she didn't know how to fix this, "what if I get my heating pad? Would it help?"

He raised his head from his hand, since he had crumpled up, entertaining the idea for a moment, "maybe...?"

That was good enough. Bella rushed out of the room and up the stairs once more, in order to retrieve the heating pad under their sink in the main bathroom. By the time she returned to the living room, though, Luke was gone.

"Are we playing hide...and seek?" Her words died in her mouth as she entered the kitchen and found him hunched over the sink, heaving, "aw, baby... So much for not feeling nauseous."

She abandoned the heating pad on the counter, planting a hand on Luke's back and rubbing up and down as he spat in the empty bowl, letting out a guttural belch, followed by a pained moan, "Bella..."

"Shh, get it up, babe," Bella sighed, pressing her mouth to his shoulder and snaking an arm around his stomach. Lucas' belly wasn't bloated, but it was gurgling non stop, making him wince as she pressed around, "you'll feel better soon..."

Another five minutes of dry heaving and she was convinced he had nothing to bring up to begin with, "Luke, I think you're just empty..."

Lucas shook his head, spine curling as he gagged once more, "no- Gingeerkgh-Ginger ale..." oh yeah, he had had several glasses of that... The ginger muffled a yawn on her hand, patting his back softly, hoping it'd help him bring it up. It must've been 2 AM by now.

"Fuck," Luke winced, folding even more, white knuckling the counter's edge as a cramp went through his stomach, "this fucking hurts..."

Bella bit down her lip, starting to get worried, "maybe you gotta use the bathroom...?"

A loud dry-heave answered her, followed by a sudden rush of liquid falling inside the sink with a harsh splatter. Luke hung over it, eyes squeezed shut and struggling to breathe, leaning in enough he could press his forehead to the cool glass of the window above the sink.

"There you go," Bella opened the faucet, spraying the nasty product of several glasses of ginger ale and his dinner away, "done?"

"Nope," Lucas spat once more, sniffling and sounding all congested, "helped with the pain though..."

"That's great," she let out a genuine relieved sigh and moved away from him, in order to fill up a tall glass of water, "big gulps then, let's bring up the rest of what's upsetting your belly so much."

"Let's," he snorted at the "we" implication, but took the glass from her with shaky hands, all but chugging it down. Immediately Luke was turning back to the sink, dropping the glass inside with a loud clank and gagging several times. Bella cringed at the violence of it, tiptoeing so she could plant a hand to his forehead and then giving his back some hard pats, until finally a much thicker gush came up.

It was large enough that Luke started to cough and rasp for oxygen as it ended, swaying so much that Bella slid under his arm, wrapping her arms around his waist to keep him from collapsing against the cabinets, "hey, hey, hey, don't go down on me, baby. Open those beautiful eyes for me."

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lip and Bella beamed, cupping his face. He was drenched in cold sweat, wavy hair glued to his forehead and a feverish haze to his eyes, although he was still cold and clammy to the touch, "you with me?"

"Gotta- Gotta sit down..." Luke mumbled, squeezing her shoulder and Bella tried not to wince at the force of his grip.

"Okay, let's- Yeah, alright, on the ground," she scoffed as his knees buckled and all she could do was control the fall, but not stop it. Luke leaned back against the yellow cabinet, chest heaving with exhausted breaths.

"Sorry..."

"For what exactly?" Bella frowned, moving on all fours so she could open one of the drawers and getting a dishcloth, then getting back up to wash away the mess and wet the cloth, crouching back down and pressing it against his forehead, wiping the drool on his chin.

"Gross... Messy...It'ssslate."

She let out a huff, cupping his chin with a hand and forcing their eyes to meet, "don't be silly, it's not even that late."

[guzhufuren]

Hey, I've noticed you've been pretty quiet lately and I hope you're doing okay. I know we're not friends or even mutuals so I'm sorry if I'm overstepping by messaging! I hope the world will treat you kindly and that you can find comfort and support if you need it 💕

hi sweetheart wow this is so genuinely nice and kind of you, thank you so much for caring to the point of reaching out

i'm on the way there! i will be okay, hopefully soon. it's not serious, i just had a medium sized break down after receiving a very negative comment on something i made, in mix with a bit of unrelated loneliness and yearning on top of that, plus many many 4am drowsy what-am-i-doing-with-my-life regretful thoughts that i have had in the last months swimming up. like for my unwellness history it's really only about 6 points on the scale where the maximum is 10, so not big. i turned all social apps off but couldn't shake off the distress caused by that one stranger on the internet being unkind to my project, despite knowing they were misunderstanding and were also not in a state to understand at all, so i was kind of confused about what's up with my brain and why it can't move on

and it was a good choice! because after being only with myself without any internet distractions for the first time in years, figured out in just a day that mood swings have been back for a while, over one month at least (so anger issues weren't totally Yunho's fault actually bless him), some other parts of mental health worsened too

got a grip on myself, went to my doctor, got back on meds, now i'm sleepy every minute of waking hours while my body is getting used to them again, but it's gonna be fine. received advice on how to write a mood log, turns out very helpful as additional treatment to keep hypomania and anxiety under control. i even started working out, doing memory exercises and preparing my exam notes tentatively, which is so hard and scary, oh my god, but i must. job search is even scarier but i'm working myself up to finding a good one with little, very very very very tiny steps but they are moving

in the first day of self made quarantine i rewatched the queer korean show Love for Love's Sake that cured me from depression for a while and from any possibility of suicidality for a lifetime last year. it didn't work the trick again, because i'm really not living in the best or even just calm psychological environment to let it do its magical healing thing the way it should, but it did give me new clarity and make me intensely cry some shit out, so that was also very nice

accidentally found the best fic ever and it brought me so much very needed comfort in the past week. it's sweet, funny and stress free. like a warm blanket. or a cup of vanilla cocoa that makes your cold toes tingle in winter. or a hug from the love of your life. first atz and woosan fic to enter my hall of all time longfic favourites. very rare honor but it deserves it completely

also found a bunch of bloggers who post videos of the ocean in Thailand, some even stream the beach 24/7. it's so cool, i watch it in the evenings for short periods of time. helps making it bearable to just survive here a little bit longer until i am able leave

i sort of of really like that when i don't spend 12 hours a day on the phone doing mind-numbing scrolling or posting, there is so much free time to do cool stuff? i have kinda felt like i can be back on here for a couple of days, but i still freak out a bit for two reasons. first, that bad comment is still hanging there and it still makes me too upset to open notifications or my own blog page, which is ridiculous but that's how my dumbass unwell-brain-made feelings are. so i will see how that goes away and i get over it like an adult. second, i'm scared to be sucked back in the addiction to the colourful little hellsite app so i usually end up throwing the phone away in panic after 5 minutes of the app being open. maybe i will work up to it more gradually, don't know, let's see how that goes too

thank you again my little treasure, i will happily take that kindness and comfort you offered here as you are a part of the world. and you can message without worrying anytime, no mutualship or officially labelled friendship necessary. i'm very cool with small amount of interactions, just not big on chatting online one on one for long and don't enjoy it super much. and also with how often i see you around we are considered friends for sure. so thank you again for being so sweet i really am so grateful to you for this, one hundred friend hugs in return