#my attempt at not making other blogs until this one is completely done is slowly slipping away.

[lolliichop]

today i talked to a friend about voltron and what. what if i. want to retry writing shiro now. even if no one ever writes sci-fi roleplay.

[ivymarquis]

Hi loves 💕💕 I saw requests are open so I figured I'd send one in! I absolutely love your work you're so talented and I binge read all of your fics!!

I would like to request fem reader x soap where Soaps wife adopted a dog she found on the streets and keeps her even though he hates the idea.( he has a cannon fear of dogs which I find a little funny) slowly but surely he warms up to the dog but not fully. While he's out on a mission there's a robbery and the dog protects the reader and scares off the intruder. Soap hears about this and is instantly is best friends with the dog because even though he hates dogs he loves that the pup will protect his wife (I also hc that mabey it's not a street dog but a retired k9 reader adopted to feel safe while he was gone and she just didn't tell him until he comes home and sees a dog. it's up to you what you pick💓)

Hello anon I appreciate your patience!! I did pick and choose a wee bit to make the fic make sense for me, I hope you like it!

The Exception to the Rule

Pairing| Soap x Reader Rating| T Word Count| 1.9K Content/Warnings| Housekeeping first- this fic is SFW so if you find it in the tags I won’t be bothered about minors reading it but I am an MDNI blog and I will block any minors or ageless blogs who follow me. Got it? Cool. The author is an American attempting to write a Scottish accent, likely inaccuracies about how military dogs in general or bomb dogs in specific work. Allusions to prior animal injury, allusion to potential dog choking (in the context of choking off a working dog who won’t release its quarry), allusion to home invasion, dog bites, Johnny is not happy, the author does not condone getting animals you know your partner has issues with (but the plot necessitates it so on we go!)

Soap knows his wife well enough to know when she’s taken a “ask for forgiveness rather than permission” course of action. It’s written all over her face when she accepts his FaceTime call and answers his greeting of “What did ya dae, hen?“ with a “Please don’t be mad.”

Now certain men might have to worry about their brides stepping out on them on deployment. Soap knows her well enough to not even entertain that notion, so the wheels start turning for what exactly she could have done that has her looking this guilty out the gate.

The answer comes very suddenly in the form of a bark on the other end of the screen.

John Soap MacTavish sputters, something he is not often inclined to do, “Is that a fuckin’ dog?” And not just a dog. That wasn’t a little yappy fluffball who can be picked up with two fingers if need be. It sounds like one of the damn bomb dogs always yapping over in the kennels.

“Please don’t be mad!” She pleads again.

“Well a’m not happy, that’s for sure. Where and why did ye git that thing?”

This is completely out of character for her. Soap’s disdain for dogs (and why) is well known. She bloody well knows. So what the hell?

“It’s not permanent! You said this deployment would be a long one, and there’s been break ins in the neighborhood and I got nervous and my friend told me about this rescue group that helps rehome retired military dogs.” Her explanation is all in one breath. “They approved us” (Us??) ”as a foster family. He’s already got applications in for a permanent home. It just feels,” she pauses to catch her breath, and Soap can feel himself softening ever so minisculely to the dog- as long as he’s on the other side of the world, away from it, “safer here, with him here since you’re gone. The break ins have been really scary, they haven’t caught the guy yet.”

Fucking hell how is he supposed to argue with that? Especially if there’s some prick on the loose breaking into houses.

“Cujo better nae be oan th’ bed wi’ ye,” he grouses, acquiescing while still making his displeasure known.

“His name is Kabar and I’ll have the bed freshly stripped when you’re due back I promise.”

Soap is a god damn sucker for those pleading doe eyes, giving a big exasperated sigh to signal he’s letting her off the hook. “Fine. Bit he better be gaen by th’ time I pull intae th’ driveway. Let’s see th’ damn thing then,” Christ he hopes it’s not a Belgian Malinois. He knows they’re popular for military dogs but his darling is not built to handle a maligator, retired or not.

“Okay hang on,” she replies, notably cheerier as she taps the screen.

It’s a German Shepherd, thank fuck (Johnny must be having a stroke to be grateful for the sight of a German Shepherd in his bed)

He knows as well as anyone else they can be intense, but they’re a step down from the Malinois at least.

The coloring is traditional, but Soap’s brain starts nudging him that something is wrong with the dog. It takes a moment to click before he realizes the problem.

The damn dog only has three legs. “Is he a tripod?” The question is out before he can stop himself because no he is not inquiring about the damn dog. It was just a thought that escaped.

“He is a disabled veteran!” His bride corrects cheekily, before much more solemnly adding “He was a bomb dog.”

Oh Christ. He did not need to know that. Doesn’t need to think about the damn animal waking up one day with four legs and clocking in to work with his handler before boom.

“A’m only entertaining this because of the break ins, hen, am ah clear?”

Maybe having that booming bark rattling the windows will keep any would-be intruders at bay. This is the worst part of the job- being stuck on what might as well be the other side of the world when she’s got something to deal with.

“Absolutely crystal clear!” She’s all too agreeable, pleased as hell to have her cake (the dog) and eat it too (Johnny tolerating it).

Somehow this is going to blow up in his face and he’s going to permanently end up with a fucking military dog he doesn’t want, he just knows it.

But there’s no fucking way he can tell her No. Absolutely not. He goes back today, with a potential threat lurking around the neighborhood. He’d never forgive himself.

The rest of the conversation is much more in line with what he usually anticipates with their phone calls being- He doesn’t much like talking about work off the clock although lets her know of any interesting shenanigans around the base, and listening with baited breath as she regails him of tales both extraordinary and, well, extra ordinary.

Usually their phone calls end when she passes out in bed, and they’re perfectly poised to continue that habit tonight also.

“Ye made sure all th’ doors and windows are locked, hen?” He asks as she starts snuggling into the bedding underneath her.

“Yeah Johnny, I,” she cuts herself off with a big yawn “-I double checked them.”

It’s a few minutes later that the phone slips from her hand, camera pointing at the ceiling as she drifts off.

Johnny can almost imagine he’s at home laying on his back, watching the rhythmic movements of the ceiling fan in time with his lovely girl snoring slightly in his ear (despite her verbose protests that no she doesn’t snore- okay. Whatever you say, gorgeous.)

It’s an incredibly comforting moment that lets him feel a bit closer to home that is ruined by the sound of snuffling by the speaker.

The dog’s nose appears on screen, the angle making him look like an aardvark as he sniffs the phone before laying down, presumably relishing in the fact there’s not a damn thing Soap can do about this situation.

“Ye better keep an eye oan my girl, Cujo.” Soap grumbles as he begrudgingly hangs up the phone.

The mission ends quicker than expected- substantially quicker- and as content as Soap is with getting home he also is annoyed.

The mission got cut so short, and it’s so damn late by the time Soap is driving home that he knows the fucking dog is still there. The agreed upon date has not yet passed, which means that fuck is lazing about on his side of the bed.

Not to mention the mere obstacle of convincing a former military dog he’s never met, in the middle of the night, that yes this is his fucking house and he’s the one paying the bills around here and yes that actually is his spot on the bed so kindly fuck off.

At a point during his drive home, a police car flies by him. Then another. Then another.

Must be the fucker that’s been breaking into homes. Hopefully he gets caught and that’s one less thing to worry about when Johnny leaves again.

Except the red and blue lights seem to be fucking honed in from the spot that he’s steadily driving to, and Johnny’s convinving himself that he’s seeing things. There is no way that those lights and sirens are stemming from his house, thank you very much.

Even still, he feels himself driving faster. The sooner to quiet his anxiety that’s brewing.

The anxiety doesn’t dissipate as he makes each turn to his home. If anything it gets worse.

Because all that noise and the flashing lights are stemming from his own fucking home. Johnny can barely get the thing in park before he’s flying out of the vehicle. He can hear screams and specifically her crying and in an instant Johnny’s beyond being keyed up.

One of the officers attempts to intercept Johnny- thinks he’s just some nosy fuck from who knows where- and it takes everything in him not to blow his top entirely as he cuts the man off with a stern “This is mah house ‘n she’s mah wife!”

The sound of his voice booming into the night is enough to catch her attention and bring her running to him. Johnny embraces her as she flings herself at him, crying into his shirt as he strokes her back and soothes her.

He can piece together the general what happened, although he’s completely unaware of the details.

One piece begins to fit into place as he starts to hear what all the screaming is. His initial attention completely fixated on ensuring his wife is whole and hale, now he can check that off the mental list he now has the bandwidth to listen to the bellowing.

“Git it aff me! Och Jesus, someone git it aff o' me!”

“Cannae git th’ damn thing tae release him,” Johnny hears one of the officers comment dryly.

“Can always choke him off if the owners can’t git him tae let go,” the other one supplies.

“Eh, ah guess,” the first one responds in a bored tone that makes it clear he has a this guy fucked around and now he’s finding out, and I don’t see a reason to hurry- the dog looks happy anyway, stance to the situation.

On the side of the house, face down in the grass is the man who presumably broke inside.

He is so incredibly lucky there are witnesses and a sobbing wife to curtail the dark, angry thoughts swirling around in Johnny’s brain. Otherwise all it would take would be one phone call to Laswell and this prick disappears forever.

Attached to the calf of that man is Cujo, happily laying on the ground with his tail wagging slowly like his teeth aren’t sunk inside a man’s flesh. If the dog gets too annoyed with the man’s wiggling he shakes him like a chew toy, starting up a fresh round of someone git this fucking dog aff o’ me! until he lays still.

The mention of choking the dog off the would-be intruder doesn’t slip past his darling in the slightest, looking up at him with wet, pleading eyes.

Damn it all, he’s always a sucker for that look.

“Johnny, do you know how to make him let go? I don’t want him choked!”

He decides she’s probably better off not being told how often that ends up having to happen, and that Cujo will be just fine minus a few brain cells if push comes to shove.

But he has spent enough time (against his will, mind) around the dogs that he’s learned the basic commands over the years through repeated exposure.

“No promises, hen, bit we’ll see.” The dog has never met him a day in his life- there’s no guarantee he’s going to listen to a man that’s a stranger barking orders at him, but Johnny gives the sharp German command anyway.

To his surprise, the dog lets go immediately and turns towards them, giving the skipping lope that a 3 legged dog does before placing himself in a heel at Soap’s side, eyes wide and head tilted.

Johnny doesn’t want to think about what could have happened tonight if it wasn’t for Cujo- Kabar- taking such an involved roll in apprehending the man stupid enough to break into his home.

And he’s most assuredly not magically over his aversion to dogs- especially military dogs- but he might be able to tolerate an exception if it means having some peace of mind that his wife is safe at home.

[eddiexmunsonlover-archive]

One Step Away From You (Chapter 11)

BSF!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Fem!Reader

Follow my new blog for future chapters & fics @eddiexmunsonlover

Series Masterlist

Series Spotify Playlist

<- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ->

Chapter Summary: Overwhelmed by your feelings for Eddie, you don't learn your lesson and begin to pull away from him again. But with the help of Steve and Robin, Eddie's not letting you get away so easily this time. WC: 7.6k Warnings: MDNI. Honestly just an emotionally heavy chapter. Anxiety, triggers to previous 'relationship'. Angst, fluff, hurt, and comfort. Well, here it is everybody. The chapter we've all been waiting for! I honestly teared up a bit writing this. I really hope you all enjoy it and feel it was worth the wait, angst, and tension I put you through. Series taglist: @eddie-is-a-god @siriusmaraudeers @amandahobblepot @littlexdeaths

Thursday, February 13th, 1986

“Soooo, how long exactly are you planning on keeping this up?”

Robin’s voice pulls you from your concentration, looking up from your History notes to be met with her expectant gaze. Your eyes flicker around your surroundings in confusion.

“What? …Studying?”

“No, dingus! This thing with Eddie!”

You sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat as she continues rambling. 

“This whole slowly pulling away from Eddie because you think it’s going to magically make your feelings for him disappear. Because that went SO WELL the last time-”

“Robin” you hiss as your eyes dart around the two of you, trying to determine if any of the other students taking shelter in the library instead of the lunchroom can overhear.

“What? It’s true! You’re only hurting yourself and him.”

“It’s only temporary, Rob.” you reassure, making a feeble attempt to both subdue her and bring your focus back to your notes.

“Temporary… right. Well, what if the damage done in the process isn’t?”

Your hands rub over your face in frustration, huffing before you meet her stare.

“Look, it’s not the same as last time. It’s not like I’ve completely shut him out. I’ve just taken a step back, that’s all. Just until I feel like I can handle being around him so much for the rest of the school year.” 

Instead of being met with her continued ramblings, she just stares at you with raised brows. An expression that reads ‘I see right through your bullshit’. Before she can say so, the screeching ring of the bell signaling the end of the lunch period provides the perfect exit to the conversation you’ve been avoiding from both her and Steve.

“This conversation isn’t over!” she insists with a hushed whisper as you enter the school halls.

“Bye, Robin!” you exclaim before parting from her side, heading down opposite ends of the hall to your next class.

Over the last 3 weeks since the events of the concert and Eddie’s birthday, you’d begun to pull away from him. Slowly, bit by bit. Electing to spend more lunch periods with Robin in the library. Spending more evenings with Steve and Robin or your mom. Even visiting your dad a few times. Picking up more work shifts. Some you needed to go to right after school, less carpooling. Nothing that couldn’t be written off with excuses. 

You needed to save money ahead of college in the fall. You’d noticed you were spending less time with your mom and other friends and wanted to change that.

You still carpooled some days, still sat at the Hellfire table for lunch, still attended Hellfire meetings and your movie nights after, but your presence around Eddie had been dwindling.

Enough to be noticeable, but still around enough to not be alarming, you hope.

You don’t know what else to do.

After the night of Eddie's birthday, you felt so overwhelmed with the feelings you’ve been suppressing for so long. Feelings and desires for him. Overwhelmed by his presence. His meaningless pet names and soft touches. 

You’re tired of it, and so are your two other closest friends. Steve manages to bring Eddie up every time you hang out, insisting you just tell him how you feel. 

He doesn’t understand.

You can handle rejection, you’ve dealt with it plenty of times throughout your life. What you can’t handle is rejection from Eddie. The thought alone devastates you, keeping you from confessing the feelings for him you hold so close to your heart, on top of fear it would unravel your friendship.

You turn the knob entering the combination to your locker, switching out your books for your afternoon classes. A sliver of pink flashes through your vision, a card falling to the ground, slipped through the slits at the top. You stare at the pink paper next to your feet for a few seconds, uncertainty filling your mind. 

A Valentine's gram. 

They’d been advertising it all week ahead of Valentine’s Day tomorrow. Tables set up in the front atrium and cafeteria to send candy grams and letters to other students. You take a sharp inhale through your nostrils before reaching down to grab it, twirling it in your hands before getting the courage to open the note.

You’re the most beautiful girl these cynical eyes have ever seen.

Your Secret Admirer

Reading the words over and over again you gulp, forcing down the quickly rising lump in your throat as painful memories are triggered. Heat rises in your cheeks, eyes quickly darting around you. Scanning the halls for anyone watching, snickering with their friends at the prank. 

But no one’s watching you, everyone going about their business. Casually chatting with friends or hurrying down the halls to get to their next class on time. 

You shove the pink note in your bag, grabbing the last of your books before slamming the locker door shut. Trudging down the hall to your next class. Avoiding the eyes of your classmates, even Eddie, as you slump into your seat. 

Memories of this time last year creeping into your mind. 

Justin.

He’d left a note in your locker for Valentine’s Day too. 

“You’re so beautiful.

Meet me by the bleachers at 3”

The day after Valentine’s when you let him be your first and only, just for it to all be a joke. A heartless prank.  

The note in your locker brings back that pain, embarrassment, and anger. The similarities, the anniversary. It poisons your mood for the day, unable to bring yourself to focus at all in your last  classes. Zoning out as you stare at the board, memories of Justin, your friendship and feelings for Eddie swarming your mind.

You’re so consumed by it you don’t hear his footsteps approaching from behind as you leave the classroom.

“Hey, you! What’s up?”

“Oh. Hey, Eds. Not much.”

“You alright? You look a little-”

“I’m fine. Look I um, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” His steps stop with yours as you exit the front doors of the school, quickly lighting a cigarette and taking a drag before you continue. “I’m not going to be able to make it to Hellfire tomorrow.”

“W-What do you mean, is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine. My aunt asked me to cover, the guy that took over my Friday night shifts is sick. I’m sorry.” You shrug defeatedly. 

Another lie added to the list of excuses you’ve fed him over the last few weeks to avoid being around him too much. You asked your Aunt for the shift, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Sighing, his hands go to his hips as he looks around the parking lot.

“Well, you’re going to have to find a sub.”

“I’ll find a sub, Eddie.” You say exasperatedly, rolling your eyes. Before he can comment on your clearly sour mood, you try to dismiss it with a shake of your head. “Look, I gotta go to work. I’ll catch you later, alright?”

You don’t wait for a response as you begin the walk from the school to your truck, hearing his dumbfounded “Alright” from behind you.

Not bothering to let your eyes seek him out as you pull out of the school parking lot.

You hate this.

Hate lying to him. Hate trying to spend just enough time with him to subdue worries or complaints. Hate that you’re doing what you’ve always done; holding everything in, avoiding conflict and procrastinating the inevitable. It’s what you’ve always done because it’s the only way you’ve been taught how to handle your problems. Left to your own devices to figure it out.

You hate that you don’t know how to handle this any other way.

Most of all, you hate that you’re hopelessly in love with your best friend.

Friday, February 14th, 1986

There’s something wrong with you and Eddie knows it. Despite your efforts to pull away from him as slowly and subtly as you can, he’s noticed your growing absence over the weeks. Always giving an excuse that seems to make sense, but he can’t get rid of the gut feeling that something else is going on. He’s asked, but you always tell him everything’s fine. 

You’re just tired, busy, working, trying to spend more time with family. 

The excuses would satisfy anyone else, taking them at face value, but he’s known you long enough to know when you’re holding something in, something that’s weighing heavily on your mind. He can’t deny that your fading presence hasn’t triggered a fear, a fear going back 3 years when you pulled away from him completely. You were thousands of miles away then, but he’s watching you do the same thing now right in front of him, only slower. That realization and the fear that it will reach the inevitable point where you cut him off completely again has had him in an internal panic for the past weeks.

Spending nights alone in his room racking his brain for anything he could’ve done to cause this. The excuses and less time spent together started 3 weeks ago, soon after his birthday and the concert the week before that. He relives those nights. 

The concert. He admits he let himself get carried away in a few moments. Letting the energy and environment take over, touching you more than he usually would. Hoping you’d see it as nothing more than him being a protective friend, and at the same time hoping you’d see it for what it really is, his feeble attempt at sending you signs of his feelings he’s too afraid to admit. Too afraid those feelings would scare you away, cutting him off from your life again. 

Maybe that’s exactly what’s happening now. You saw his actions for what they are. He was too forward, too creepy. It overwhelmed you. He feels so damn stupid, jeopardizing your friendship like that by putting his selfish desires first.

And who knows what he did the night of his birthday, drinking too many Rum and Coke’s to remember. He cringes at the thought, regret filling his mind and body.

Maybe he took it a step even farther in the wrong direction with that Valentine’s note left in your locker. He’d convinced Gareth to write it for him, you’d recognize Eddie’s handwriting but not his. He knew you’d see it before your afternoon classes, hoping at the least it’d just put a smile on your face. But there was no smile in sight when you walked into English class, a frown and a look of sorrow etched into your features. 

He knew he’d fucked up. When you told him you’d be missing Hellfire, despite your seemingly reasonable excuse, he can’t help but think the reason is really him.

Your usual seat at Hellfire is taken by Max. He wonders what you did to convince the girl to take your spot as she looks among the members in skepticism. Your absence at Hellfire leaves a hollow feeling in his heart. You’d never missed a campaign since you joined, the thought that this wouldn’t be the last scares him. Despite worrying that he’s done too much and has pushed you away, he feels like he has to do something. Fear driving him to fight in some way, but he isn’t sure what to do.

That uncertainty drives him to the parking lot of Family Video after Hellfire to seek out the help of your other best friends. Watching various customers leave under the neon sign, couples renting romance movies for the holiday. His rings anxiously tap against the steering wheel as he gathers his courage, waiting for the right moment. The less people in the video store, the better. A Friday night on Valentine’s Day probably wasn’t the best choice, but he can’t stand being stuck in his own head any longer.

Van keys in hand, he slams the driver’s door shut before striding toward the glass doors.

“Welcome to Family Vid-” Steve begins his usual work greeting, cut off guard looking up from the stack of tapes to see Eddie approaching the counter. “Ah, Munson. Here to rent another gory slasher?”

Robin’s ears quirk up at the mention of Eddie’s name, disregarding the customer in front of her asking about the latest Tom Cruise flick as she peeks over the video stands toward the counter.

“Uh, no. I’m actually here to talk.” Eddie mutters as he looks around the store, appearing frazzled. Skin clammy and hair more wild than usual. His eyes meet Robin’s, which widens before turning back to her customer, failing to appear nonchalant.

“Talk?” Steve crosses his arms, acting surprised. He already knows, though, what exactly Eddie wants to talk about. Given the increasing distance you’ve put between you two, Steve knew it would come to a head eventually. He didn’t exactly expect Eddie to seek him out for it, however.

“Yeah, about Y/N. I don’t know, something’s wrong. She’s not around as much anymore and I know there’s something going on.”

“Oookay. Have you tried talking to her about it?”

“Do you think I’d be here right now if I hadn’t?” His nostrils flare and lips tighten as frustration fills him. He takes a breath to calm himself. “Everytime I ask her, she says everything’s fine. She has to work more shifts, she’s spending more time with you two. But I know there’s more to it.”

Robin joins the duo, sliding up to the counter to eavesdrop more closely, inserting herself in the conversation.

“Alright… I’m not exactly sure where we fit into this, Munson.”

Eddie flashes him an incredulous look. He’s going to have to pry it out of him.

“She won’t tell me what’s going on, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t told you two what’s going on.” He points a finger at them accusingly, his impatience beginning to rise.

“Ha. Nope, no no no no no no” Steve scoffs, raising his hands in an attempt to remove himself from the situation. With her customer checked out and heading out the doors, Robin steps beside Steve to face Eddie.

“Look, Eddie. As frustrating as this situation may be, believe me, I know. What kind of friends would we be if we blabbed her business behind her back, things she’s told us in confidence?”

He knows she’s right, but it only lands him in the same spot he’s been, stuck. Leaning his elbows on the counter, his head falls in his hands as his mind swells in frustration and overwhelm. He rubs his eyes, taking a shaky inhale.

“I don’t know what else to do. I’m stuck… I’m scared she’s just gonna pull away completely again. I just can’t take that.”

The sound of his voice, the subtle shakiness and cracking in it. The sight of him with his head in his hands, helpless. It hits Steve right in his chest. His hand shoots to his forehead, squeezing his eyebrows together in disgruntlement before he sighs.

“Look, Robin’s right. But” he shares a look with her. “We’re willing to help.”

Eddie’s eyes peek over his hands to observe them, seeing their genuine expression he removes them from his face completely.

“Well, you got any bright ideas?”

Steve shares another unspoken look with Robin and it’s nearly enough to send Eddie over the edge.

“Let me ask you something, Munson.” Steve begins, taking a step closer to the counter between them, arms returning to cross over his chest. He reads Eddie for a moment before continuing.

“You love her, don’t you?” He asks plainly. It catches Eddie off-guard, forcibly blinking his eyes repeatedly before shaking his head. Scoffing out a laugh.

“I- Well of course I do, she’s my best friend.”

He gets nothing but silence from the duo. Robin’s head tilts ever so slightly, Steve’s eyes squinting as they examine him. 

It’s more than that. He knows it, and they know it. But Eddie grows defensive under their prying gaze and question. That small spark of jealousy reigniting as he looks at Steve.

“Ha. Oh, I see. You’re just trying to see if you’re going to have some competition getting in your way, huh?” he accuses, posture straightening and puffing his chest out. But Steve only returns the accusation with a look of confusion, furrowing his brows.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Munson. Don’t get me wrong Y/N’s a great girl, but we’re nothing more than friends.”

“Yeah. Platonic… with a capital P!” Robin adds.

The air filling Eddie’s chest deflates with a huff, almost a sigh of relief. His calloused hand rubs over his face.

“Well, based on that reaction I think I have the real answer to my question.” Steve remarks, sharing another look with Robin.

Eddie looks around the empty video store before slowly nodding his head.

“Yeah. I love her. Really love her.” he admits, a small weight off his chest with the confession.

Steve releases a sigh of his own, slumping his back against the counter as he tries to think.

“So? What do we do?” Robin presses him, hands flared out by her hips. 

“Just-” A hand flies up to stop her. “Let me think, alright?”

Silence falls among the trio as Steve is lost in thought. Weighing their options as he feels the eyes of Robin and Eddie on him. Waiting for him to come up with a solution. A few moments pass before he slowly begins nodding his head, a small smirk appearing on his lips before his eyes look up to meet theirs.

“Yeah, alright. I’ve got an idea. But let me make one thing clear…shit, who am I kidding. If this plan fails it’s going to bite us all in the ass. So let’s make sure it doesn’t, alright?”

It’s another one of those nights. Despite your body being exhausted from a busy Friday shift at work, your mind is nowhere near winding down. Freshly showered and in a clean set of pajamas, you survey your room for something to do. The second your eyes land on your purple bass guitar, it’s decided. Losing yourself in music is one of your go-to’s for nights like these, providing plenty of distraction from your thoughts. 

Sliding the guitar strap over your head, you switch out the tapes in the stereo and press play. As Hang on to Your Love by Sade begins, your fingers flawlessly follow the bassline you’ve played countless times in the nearly 2 years since the Diamond Life album’s release. Your eyes close letting the music flow through you, singing along, head and body moving with the beat under the purple glow of your string lights.

In Heaven's name, why are you walking away?

Hang on to your love

In Heaven's name, why do you play these games?

Hang on to your love

Take time if you're down on luck

It's so easy to walk out on love

Take your time if the going gets tough

It's so precious

So if you want it to get stronger

You'd better not let go

You gotta hold on longer

If you want your love to grow

Gotta stick together

Hand in glove

Hold tight, don't fight

Hang on to your love

You sing and play along as your feet move you around the room, hips swaying to the beat. You let your mind focus on the rhythm, fingers following the repetitive baseline. Making an effort to not focus too much on the lyrics, less the irony slap you in the face. You know they’re right, deep down. Having the courage to follow the truth of it is another story.

He sits in the driver’s seat after the engine goes quiet, collecting his thoughts. Going over the plan he made with Steve, all the things he wants to say to you. He steps out of the van, closing the door behind him before heading toward the trailer. Unlocking the front door, he spares a glance toward your trailer, your window. Purple light shining through the sheer curtains. 

You. 

The faint outline of your figure clad with your guitar. Body swaying to the bassline you pluck with your fingers. He sighs, pulling his eyes from the sight and closing the trailer door behind him.

Secluding to his bedroom for the night with hope that Steve’s plan works.

Saturday, February 15th, 1986

A smirk plays on your lips, watching as Steve’s BMW pulls into your driveway. Steve and Robin waving at you from the front seat.

“Come on, it’ll be like old times last summer. Driving to work together, and you know, we can go for a drive around town after, listen to music, get some ice cream then have a movie night!” Steve propositioned you over the phone an hour ago. You figured he wants to do something to lighten your mood, take you back to the late nights your little trio would have last summer after your Scoops Ahoy shifts.

Which has led to you sitting in Steve’s backseat as he drives down Hawkins main road to drop you off at the restaurant before the two head to their own shifts. Giggling to yourself as you listen to their usual bickering from the front seat.

“Alright, give the store a call when you’re done and we’ll pick you up” he smiles as you get out of the car, quickly returning the gesture to him.

“Aye-Aye, Captain. See you guys later!” They wave bye before watching you part, releasing a deep sigh when you disappear into the restaurant and he shifts the car in reverse.

“I really hope this doesn’t blow up in our faces” Robin mutters from the passenger seat, fingers massaging her forehead before looking at Steve.

“Tell me about it… she’s gonna kick my ass.” He spares one last look at the restaurant before driving back onto the main road toward Family Video.

You can’t deny you feel excited for your after work plans, the prospect of being able to live in the moment with your friends and not in your head with stress. Business keeps at a steady pace throughout the day, offering you plenty of distraction from those thoughts and that nagging feeling in the bottom of your stomach you can’t quite place your finger on. 

When closing time comes around, the dinner rush that’d hit has left you feeling exhausted. With aching feet and a sore back, you scuffle over to the restaurant telephone. Dialing the number to Family Video, you glance at the clock. 10 minutes past their closing time.

“Uh, Family Video?” Robin’s voice greets you with hesitation, usually avoiding answering any calls that come in after closing time. Expecting your call, she hopes she didn’t just accidentally answer a customer.

“Hey, it’s me. I’m finished here if y’all are ready?”

“Oh! Yeah, right! Weeee are about to leave right now. Be there in a few!” Your brows furrow at the fluctuations in her voice.

“Uh alright, see you soon”

“Kay, bye!” Her cheeks puff out as she slams the phone down on the receiver.

“Nice. Real smooth, Robin.” Steve remarks with a shake of his head.

“Well you should’ve answered then, dingus!”

You put the phone back on the receiver before turning to collect your belongings from the back room, saying your goodbyes to your coworkers and clocking out. A few minutes later you’re wandering out the restaurant doors into the cold February air. A quick look around the parking lot tells you they’re not here yet. You decide to take a seat for the first time since the start of your shift, figuring you have enough time for a quick cigarette before the BMW pulls up any minute now.

5 minutes later, the cherry on your cigarette has met the filter and still no sign of Steve and Robin. Your foot bounces anxiously against the loose gravel beneath your feet. The video store is only 3 minutes down the road. Maybe they got caught up in closing tasks? But Robin said they were leaving right then on the phone… 8 minutes ago.

The roar of an engine on the quiet road pushes through your thoughts, turning your head when you hear tires crunching on loose gravel.

But it’s not Steve’s BMW you see. It’s the oh-so familiar van. 

Eddie.

Your stomach drops at the sight as he pulls up right in front of you, leaning over to lower the passenger window.

“Get in, I’ll give you a ride home.”

“I um,” your palms rub against your thighs as you rise from your seat, looking down the streets before meeting his gaze. “I already have one. I’m waiting for Steve and Rob, we have plans tonight.”

He doesn’t respond, only stares at you with an almost sympathetic look. As you read his expression, his lack of a response, the realization hits you under his gaze. Inhaling sharply as you look down the streets, lips tightening into a firm line.

“Goddamn it, Harrington.” you mutter under your breath. 

He set you up.

After your call to Family Video, Steve hastily called Eddie, setting their plan to ‘corner’ you into motion.

You take one last look at the empty streets, knowing that BMW isn’t coming. With a huff, you walk toward the passenger door of the van, climbing in. Eddie doesn’t waste any time pulling out of the parking lot and back onto Main Street, heading in the direction of the trailer park.

An uncomfortable silence falls between the two of you, only the low volume of a Black Sabbath tape flowing through the van.

Your anxiety grows when Eddie continues driving past the turn leading to the trailer park. You quickly look at him. “I thought you were taking me home?”

“I will. Just going somewhere else first.” he returns simply, eyes never wavering from the road to meet yours.

You hastily light another cigarette in an attempt to calm your nerves and the anxiety sitting in your gut. Mind racing as you try to determine your destination. When the van turns onto a dirt road you’ve been on a few times before, you know exactly where he’s taking you.

Soon enough you see the moonlight glimmering off the water as the coverage of the trees lining the road clears up to the shore of Lover’s Lake. At the end of the road, he turns the van and backs it up so the backdoors will open to the shoreline. The sound of the soft lapping of waves is the only thing you hear when he kills the engine. 

Eddie hesitates his next move, sitting idly in the driver's seat. Looking down as he fidgets with the rings on his fingers before opening his door, climbing out of the van and shutting it behind him. Leaving you sitting there dumbfounded in the passenger seat.

This is it. They haven’t given you a choice in the matter. Both Eddie and your friends have had enough of your avoidance. Side-stepping Eddie for weeks and your feelings for even longer.

You’re sure this is his confrontation, not letting you leave until you’ve satisfied his questions.

Maybe he already knows your answers, the real answers. Who knows what Steve and Robin told him. You don’t believe they’d spill the beans so easily, but maybe they’ve grown so tired of witnessing this dance with Eddie that they’ve told him the truth themselves. Your heart doesn’t believe they would, but your anxiety isn’t consoled by that belief in this moment.

You hear the creak of the backdoors of the van opening from behind you, followed by the subtle shift in movement with Eddie’s body. A quick peek confirms it, his back towards you as he sits on the edge of the van, watching the water with a lit cigarette.

With a shaky breath you open your door and climb out, taking slow steps walking the length of the van till you’re at the back. Arms crossed against your chest, the toe of your shoe lazily digs into the dirt.

“What are we doing here, Eds?”

He takes a long drag of the cigarette, head hanging as he tries to find the right words, the right way to approach this.

“I… figured it was a nice place to talk.” His eyes finally look up to meet yours for the first time since he picked you up.

“To talk?”

He sighs, rubbing his free hand along the black denim covering his thigh.

“Y/N… I know there’s something going on that you’re not telling me. You’ve been pulling away, you’re not around as much and-and you give all these good excuses but I know there’s another reason for it. I can feel it.” His brown eyes are pleading as they look into yours before you divert your gaze away toward the lake, the speed of your heartbeat rising.

“I just… I can’t do this” you shake your head as you face the ground, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth to chew anxiously.

“All these years you’ve been able to tell me almost everything. What’s so different now, huh? With whatever it is that’s going on?” he pushes, the pleading in his eyes now seeping into his voice. “Did I do something?”

“God. No, Eddie. You didn’t do anything.”

“Then why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because… Because it’ll change the way you look at me, Eddie. Our friendship, everything. It won’t be the same.” you insist, fighting the panicked feeling from filling your stomach and rising up your throat. Your words and the distressed look creeping onto your face brings him to his feet, moving to approach you.

“Hey. Look at me.” His hands grab onto your arms, holding you in place to face him.

“Nothing could ever change that. Change our friendship and how much you mean to me. Hell, even after not speaking to me for 3 years, you’re still my best friend. Losing you is the last thing I want, and these last few weeks I’ve been terrified that’s exactly what’s happening. I can’t lose you again, Y/N. So please, just tell me what’s going on.” His voice is soft and sincere, only adding to the overwhelming emotions coursing through your body.

Panic. Fear. Worry. Guilt. Shame.

Scared to finally reveal the feelings you’ve held and hidden for so long. Guilt at seeing and hearing through his voice the hurt you’re causing him. It’s enough to push you in the direction you know you need to take. You can’t keep doing this to yourself, to him. Neither of you deserve it, but certainly not the boy you’ve loved for so long who stands before you, pleading for you to let him in and stop casting him out.

“Okay. Okay. Fine… I’ll tell you just- just give me a minute, okay?” You look into his eyes, offering a plea of your own. He nods softly, removing his hands from your arms and taking a step back, returning to his previous spot on the back edge of the van. Elbows on his knees, eyes following your figure as you begin to pace back and forth in front of him.

Your movements falter bringing yourself to one spot in front of him, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. You tilt your head back, facing the sky as you close your eyes. Taking a deep breath, attempting to hold back the tears threatening to slip. Your head falls back down to face him, ready as you’ll ever be.

“When I told you why I stopped talking to you for those years I was away… I didn’t exactly lie, but I didn’t tell you the whole truth either. It’s the same reason why I’ve been distant these last few weeks.” You begin, arms wrapped around yourself for comfort as he sits there, listening intently. 

“And the reason is that…I love you.” You confess with a shaky breath, daring your eyes to meet his. His brow furrows as he looks at you, confusion etched across his features.

“I-I don’t understand. I love you too… you’re my best-”

“No, Eddie…” you cut him off with a sigh, frustrated with yourself most of all. That you’ve held this in for so long, regardless of how he’s going to take it.

“I don’t just love you… I’m in love with you. I-I always have been.”

There it is. 

The culmination of years of feelings, memories, touches that linger for seconds longer than they should, pain, and lust. Finally out in the open. 

A weight is off your shoulders but the confession doesn’t subside the anxiety swirling in your body, pushing you further.

Your feet move you to pace again, refusing to look at Eddie. Avoiding an expression that’ll break your heart before the words even come out of his mouth.

“I just, I couldn’t handle the pain and the feelings for you when I moved away, that was the real underlying reason why I stopped calling. I thought out of sight out of mind, you know? That my feelings would go away but they never did. A-and moving back just made those feelings for you more intense and then with the concert and your birthday, it was just so overwhelming” you ramble, barely taking a breath as the manifestation of your anxiety flows from your lips. The more you talk, the more you delay the inevitable response you expect from him.

“I know it’s foolish but I just did the same thing again. Thinking if I just put some distance between us it would go away. A-and I never said anything because I know you could never feel the same way about m-” 

You’re so focused on overexplaining yourself, staring at the moving ground below your feet that you don’t notice when he stands from his spot. 

He moves in front of you, hands returning to your arms to stop your pacing before they move up to softly cup your red, chubby cheeks. You barely have the time to process what’s happening before his lips come crashing down onto yours. It feels like time stands still, your mind in shock.

A gasp escapes your mouth before you press your lips just as hard against his. The feeling of his soft lips releasing all the tension held tight in your body, relaxing your chest and shoulders as one of your hands slides up to tangle itself in his messy curls. A motion you’ve fantasized about doing for so long. 

His actions speak louder than words ever could. Conveying years of suppressed feelings, wants and desires for you. Years of heartache from all the things he’s wanted to do with you, lost time from tiptoeing around your feelings for each other for so long. It’s all come to this very moment. He puts every ounce of the years of love, desire, and lust he’s held for you into the kiss.

Your eyes squeeze shut hard, but it doesn’t stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. Hitting his thumb before he gently wipes it away. The gesture only causes more streaks to stain your cheeks.

You feel like you’re dreaming. This can’t be real, but his touch grounds you. Losing yourself in his lips, not stuck in your thoughts for the first time in weeks. 

Just him. 

Consuming every fiber of your being.

His lips part from yours, but his touch lingers. His forehead and nose press against yours. Thumb wiping away the stray tears on your cheeks as you look into his dark irises. Falling silent as you catch your breaths. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that, sweetheart.” He mutters softly, moving a hand from your cheek to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Catching sight of the gloss covering his eyes, tears filling his waterline and threatening to spill.

In those few seconds, the guilt comes flooding back in.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie. I didn’t know how to handle it or what to do. I didn’t think you could ever see me as more than just your friend.”

“I’d call you crazy for not being able to see it this whole time, but I guess that makes me crazy too”

“Safe to say we’re both crazy… and stupid”

“Very stupid”

You smile at each other like idiots, holding one another in a tight embrace. Enjoying the touch you’ve both craved from each other for so long. 

“Don’t feel too bad about it. I didn’t know how to handle it, either. I never thought you could love me that way.”

You scoff at the admission, looking over all the features you’ve loved for so long, illuminated in the glow of the moonlight.

“I’ve always seen you for you, Eddie. When no one else has… and I love every part of you.”

He takes a shaky breath, closing his eyes with a small smile. A single tear falling down his cheek. 

You’re right. You’re the only person outside of Wayne who’s seen him for who he truly is- good and bad, strengths and weaknesses. That someone could see him at his lowest lows, see his faults and traumas, see the real him through his reputation and still love him, and not just despite all those things. Truly love him. He never thought that was possible.

And here you are, telling him you’ve been in love with him this whole time.

Confidence overtakes you, letting yourself lean in to kiss the single tear, stopping it from falling further down and meeting his jawline.

His eyes slowly open, thumb caressing your cheekbone as he looks at you with such endearment. 

Everything in this moment makes you feel lightheaded.

The weight off your shoulders at finally confessing your feelings, let alone Eddie reciprocating them. The lingering sensation on your lips of his. His breath fanning against your face. The way his eyes are full with so much love and adoration.

Now that you know what it feels like, you only want more. You press your lips to his again, moving against each other seamlessly, almost they were made for his. The kiss is gentler than the first, taking your time with each other but holding just as much passion. His arms wrap around your waist, holding you tight against his firm, warm chest.

When your lips part again, your hands slide behind his head. Nuzzling your face into his neck, standing there in a tight embrace with nothing but the soft sounds of the lake, your heartbeats and breaths surrounding you. Despite feeling like time has stood still in your heart-to-heart with Eddie, it flies by later into the night. The outing to the lake has served its purpose, lost in each other’s touch until the late February air sends shivers down your spines.

“It’s getting cold out here, hun. Let’s head home, yeah?”

You nod against his chest, regretfully pulling apart from him before his hand snakes down to intertwine his fingers with yours. Guiding you to the passenger door of the van that he quickly opens for you, helping you in.

Comforting heat quickly fills the van as Eddie pulls off the dirt road. The roar of the engine sends a relaxing vibration through the seats. The familiar melody of Black Sabbath playing through the speakers. Eddie’s warm hand reaching to hold yours as street lights pass overhead. The long day behind you of school, work, and an emotional night with Eddie.

They all come together, taking their toll and lulling you into a state of relaxation as exhaustion kicks in. Your eyelids grow heavy and you don’t have the energy to fight it. 

He glances at you from the driver’s seat. Hearing your heavy breaths and the movement of your chest with them. Head slumped against the headrest. 

He doesn’t think his heart has ever felt so full, warm and swelling at the sight.

As he brings his eyes back to the road, he makes a mental note that he’s going to have to thank Steve and Robin big time.

“Sweetheart”

Your heavy eyelids flutter open at the sound, warmth rubbing against your thigh. Through blurry vision you recognize you’re still in the van, only now parked in Wayne’s driveway. To your side, Eddie stands in the open frame of the passenger door.

“Hey, we’re home.” his voice is so soft, yet husky.

You attempt to rub the sleep from your eyes before you greet him with a tired smile, sliding your hand in his as he helps you out of the van.

“I um, I hope I’m not being too forward asking this but- do you wanna stay with me tonight?” he asks hesitantly, puppy dog eyes staring into yours.

“I’d love that. But, I’ve been sweating all night and I smell like grease…”

He laughs, glancing down at your hands held in his before looking back up to you.

“I don’t mind if you don’t.”

“Well good, cause I don’t think I could stand long enough for a shower if I wanted to.”

“Better get you inside before you collapse on me, then.” he smirks, wrapping an arm around you. Hand resting on your waist as you trudge up the steps into Uncle Wayne’s trailer.

You thank yourself for keeping an emergency change of clothes in Eddie’s closet, keeping your desire to be comfortable in mind for movie nights after Hellfire meetings. You slip into the bathroom, changing into the spare pair of sweatpants and a tank top as quickly as your tired limbs can manage.

Entering Eddie’s room, you’re greeted with the sight of him already laid in bed with a lit joint between his lips. Dressed in a faded Motorhead shirt and boxers. 

You’ve shared sleeping quarters plenty of times over the years, but now with your feelings for each other in the open and the sore tingling that lingers on your lips from his, shyness overcomes you. With rosy cheeks you shuffle your way to the other side of the bed, climbing in beside him before he passes the joint to you.

Gladly accepting the hit, smoke fills the bedroom with a comfortable silence falling between you. His arm extends behind your head, beckoning your cheek to rest against the warm, bare skin of his bicep. 

“Sooooo” he begins, exhaling smoke from his lips before his eyes fall on you. “Does this mean you're my girl now?”

His voice falls soft on your ears, almost shy as his lips form a small smile. You blush at the question, diverting your eyes from his as you take the joint from his fingers for another hit.

“I’ve always been your girl. Even when you didn’t know it.”

“Well that makes two of us then” he smile widens before faltering. “Well- not girl. I mean, your boy?... I guess… whatever, you know what I mean.” 

You giggle and he swears it’s his favorite sound in the whole world. Admiring the way your smile spreads to your round cheeks, making them pop out even more. If he didn’t already know you’d slap his hand away he’d pinch them, something he did one too many times to tease you in your younger years.

You turn on your side fully facing him as he takes the final hit of the joint, putting it out in the ashtray on the bedside table. Looking over his features, smiling when he catches you. Your hand reaches out to push his loose curls away from his face, breath catching in his throat at the sensation of your warm fingers grazing against his cheek.

“You’re so beautiful, Eds” you breathe out, causing blood to rush to his cheeks. 

“You’re the most beautiful girl these cynical eyes have ever seen.” he recites like poetry, gazing adoringly at you.

“That was you?” Eyes widening at the realization.

“Who else did you think it was?”

“I don’t know… I thought it was just some prank.”

“Yeahh… you didn’t look too happy in class after I figured you’d seen it.”

You shake your head thinking back on it.

“It just brought up bad memories of that guy I told you about, Justin. All that stuff that happened with him… it was this time last year. Valentine’s Day and all.”

You watch his chest rise and fall with a sigh. A mix of anger and love filling him, seeing the lingering effects that asshole has left on you. His free hand reaches out to grab yours, thumb gently caressing the skin on the back of it.

“Hey” he calls your attention back to him, begging your eyes to meet his again. “You don’t have to worry about anything like that ever happening to you again.” he declares reassuringly.

You never thought you could love him more before tonight, and here he is yet again proving you wrong. When his head slowly creeps closer to yours, you don’t waste a second meeting him half way. Lips colliding in a slow kiss, soft breaths escaping each time your mouths part before meeting again, closing the distance between as your chest presses against him. 

When sleepiness inevitably begins to take you over again, he wraps both arms around you and holds you against him. Your own sliding around his waist as your head finds a place on his chest for the night. Countless nights sleeping next to each other, Eddie finally gets to close the distance and hold you the way he’s always wanted. Chin resting atop your head, he’s the closest he’s ever felt to pure bliss.

With Eddie wiping away all your worst fears of what finally revealing your true feelings for him would look like, you easily give in to letting your heavy eyelids close. The rhythmic sound of his heart beating against your ear soothing you to sleep.

[papyrus-in-practice]

Hey, y’all! I wanted to give an update on Papyrus in Practice and other related stuff.

“It’s been about a year, where’s the next page!?”

Wow, when I saw it’s actually been a year, I kind of blanched a bit. I didn’t mean for the hiatus to last that long. Next page is actually done. In fact, a couple of pages are either done or close to done. I’m trying to build up a big buffer so that, hopefully, there will be a smaller gap between updates in the future. My plan is to have eight pages completed, line art for four pages done, have the script for the next scene done, and have a couple of pages worth of sketches ready. As I’m typing this, six of the eight next pages are done with the remaining ones in various stages of completion and two of the four next pages have finished line art. I’ve been working and reworking and re-reworking the script for the final scene for the past twenty months and honestly frustrated in how to wrap up the chapter in a satisfying way that won’t make me stuck on chapter 4 for another two years because the climax and conclusion is so long. So, that’s where I’m at now.

“I wrote something in the ask blog and didn’t get a response.”

I read every comment and every ask sent to me and, most likely, have at least attempted to write a script to answer it. But, I gotta weigh my options. Do I answer it at risk of delaying Papyrus in Practice for another month or focus on the comic? Depending on how elaborate the answer is, it might take a while to make a response. There are also things I just don’t know how to answer to and, believe me, I’ve tried coming up with a good answer, but I’m also still learning about life myself and I’ve found that, sometimes, my answer to a question has changed a lot over time. Sometimes, I’m afraid of saying something that’s ultimately harmful. It’s a tricky balance. At the end of the day, I've never guaranteed a response to any ask and never will guarantee a response. There are still some asks that I'd like to get around to, maybe if chapter 4 finishes or I get burnt out while making it and need a change of pace.

“Are you actually a therapist?”

Yup. I just graduated this past May with a masters in art therapy counseling. My title right now is a qualified mental health professional or QMHP. I’m waiting to take the National Counselor’s Exam to obtain my LPC but government paperwork is a looooong process(seriously, some of my colleagues have been waiting in the queue for over a year to get their LCPC). In the meantime, I can still practice as a therapist as long as I check in with a supervisor and have been practicing and slowly building my caseload for the past couple of months.

“Can you be my therapist/give therapy to this person?”

The short answer is no. The long answer is that there are a lot of ethical concerns when it comes to providing mental healthcare and breaching ethical guidelines could impede therapy progress, bring potential harm to the client, myself, or I could get in big legal trouble. I can also only practice if the client is located in my home state and goes through the company I work for since I need supervision to practice. However, I’d be happy to provide resources like websites that help you find a therapist, even for a reduced price, or self-help sites that can help you learn skills and develop tools to use that can boost your mental well-being. I cannot, however, provide mental health services.

“Will (insert character’s name) meet with Papyrus?”

Maybe. I’ve got ideas for characters in mind, but it’s more a question of how much longer I want to be doing this for. I’ll be honest with y’all, I’m getting burnt out. I want to do different projects or even revisit older projects, but I tell myself I can’t do that until I finish Papyrus in Practice or, at the very least, finish chapter 4. I didn’t think this chapter would go on for as long as it has, but it also makes sense. We’ve already hit page 25 which is almost as long as the entirety of chapter 3 and I don’t even know if we’re halfway done with the chapter yet. The way it’s looking, chapter 4 may easily hit at least 50 pages.

“So, when will you be posting again?”

Soon! Hopefully, before the end of the year. When I start updating again, I’ll be posting one page every other week which gives at least a few months of content for y’all.

That being said, I’ll see you soon!

-Meemie

[wool-f]

Wellness: Through & Through - Pilates and Running Update

Hello friends! 

This week I'm going to return to the beginning of my health and wellness experiment that I started last year and talk about pilates. 

To the people who know me and who read this blog please forgive me because no I cannot shut up about pilates, but I seriously can't stop. 

It's been one year since I began practicing pilates and I am completely embedded in the cult-like practice and seriously can't stop talking about it. 

But in any case, I've been doing pilates five times a week for the last 12 months and I've noticed amazing results in that time both mentally and physically. 

Since the start of this experiment I have done a lot of things to improve my health and general wellbeing, but pilates is the one thing that has stayed in my routine. 

In celebration of this, I've decided to really challenge myself over the next three weeks and run a half marathon while also completing a 5x5 challenge being done by my pilates studio. 

If you're interested in my plan and current progress, keep reading here! 

Ok so, like I said, I've been doing pilates for 5 days a week every week (except for the period between July - September when I was of course, travelling), and to say I haven't noticed the difference in my body would be a huge lie.

I have said it before and I will reiterate it now, I don't believe in exercising for only aesthetic reasons - I think it's a dangerous way to exist and can easily spiral into disordered eating and other problematic behaviours that can negatively affect health. However, I have noticed a huge difference in my body since beginning pilates. When I started the practice I was in a really bad mental state, I had put on weight and was doing next to no exercise at all. I needed a shock to my system. When I saw my body in comparison to what I looked like a mere eight months prior, I was shocked. Flabbergasted. Taken aback by how much I had let myself go mentally that I didn't notice the physical change in myself. It was like looking at myself with clear eyes again. 

 I got a really good deal at my studio as they had just opened and started going a few times a week. I slowly upped the days I would go until now where I try to get there at least 5 times, if not more. I have noticed that I am not only stronger, more lean and definitely slightly more muscular, but I have also dropped a significant amount of bloatedness and weight around my stomach, back and arms. 

The more important factors of difference for me however, have been the mental health changes I have noticed. I am happier and more focused and have so much more clarity in my daily thoughts and tasks. My sleep is much deeper and of better quality and in general I am just a much more healthy person. 

I enjoy the practice of pilates as a whole and the instructors at my studio are amazing, which definitely makes a difference for me. 

On to the half marathon. 

I began running properly in the Covid lockdowns, despite a lifetime telling myself that I hated running and that I was bad at it. Now I'm fully in the cult of running as well. This year I made a resolution that I would run a half marathon, and I decided to finally bite the bullet and sign up for one in the last month of the year. 

I will be running 21kms on December 3rd in Melbourne and I have started training properly (a bit later than I should have but better late than never) while also doing a pilates challenge, which means I'll be doing two types of strenuous exercise twice a day. 

I've been attempting to run most days now for two weeks. This hasn't gone off to the best start but I've been trying! 

I definitely have had to up my food intake and water intake and I'll be purchasing electrolyte jellies to try out before the big day. 

I'll update you all as I go along and if you want to get in the moment or more consistent updates, head over to my instagram and tiktok!

Otherwise, I'll be back next week with another blog post and as always please let me know if there is anything specific you want to hear/read about, I want this blog to be like a conversation with you all.

Love always,

G xx

[norwegianfriedokra]

Nursing school and a visit back to my home country...

Earlier this week I completed my written exams for nursing school here in Germany. I still have practical exams and my oral exam, and then I will be done.  

Just a quick rundown of how these exams work, because they are so different from the US. To complete nursing school in Germany, you have to pass all three of your written exams (2 hours each, all essay (mostly, some short response answers), your practical exams (4 hours interacting with your patient, documentation, planning and organizing), and oral exams (30 minutes prep on a example situation, 30 minutes answering any question relevant to the situation). I must pass all of them, and I will not know my results until after the last one is completed. This whole thing takes approximately 3 months (I will be complete with my oral exams in mid July). If I happen to not pass any part I have to repeat the entire 3rd year of school, and I get one more time to attempt taking these exams. 

It's a lot, and so different and stressful. I have studied so much more than I thought possible, and I still couldn't remember all of it. I see how my age has affected my ability to remember, and the difficulties in studying and memorizing it all.   

However the big push is now over. I have completed the written exams and I now have a month until my practical exams. So I thought, why not write a quick blog and let ya'll know how I'm doing across the pond.

Much better. I started studying early, so at the end my stress was ok. I was able to remain mostly calm, dealing with some fear and so on. I had some great classmates that I studied with regularly, and that helped motivate me a ton. Sven had to deal with me studying and being generally much more forgetful than normal, off and on…very stressed and easily irritable, and simply someone not having a lot of time for our relationship. I am sure we all know situations like that in our lives, when the stress of it all impacts those around us. I felt and feel that, and am happy that I am slowly moving in a direction, where the stress is reducing itself. Where the stress is more a question of everyday existence and not existential questions (what if I don't make it, what does that mean for my life in Germany, how can I get a residency permit if I don't pass, how do I get allowance to stay here? What will I do with myself? All of these questions regularly plaguing my mind).

Here I would like to openly acknowledge my partner, family and friends who helped to support me these past couple of years, especially this past year as everything has come to a head. I am very grateful for the love and support I received and will do my best in the time to come, to show that appreciation with words and actions. 

So what else have I been up to? Honestly mostly studying and finishing Nursing school. I have done the occasional short kayak, bouldering and other sport-like things. I also visited Mallorca with Sven back at the end of February, where we generally went hiking, enjoyed the island and tried to relax and recover from normal life. So work, studying, and a little bit of adventure and travel.

Coming up is completing Nursing school (hopefully passing all of my remaining exams), and another reason for this post: visiting the US.

With the successful completion of Nursing school, I will be boarding a plane and coming to Oregon for the first 3 weeks of August. I would love to see you all, and hope we can figure some of that out.  My main focus will be spending time with my mother, as her health is not what it used to be. So to my family who would like to visit, let's get together at my moms house and maybe do some canning or other such activities??

For anyone else who would like to see me, please reach out and let's make some plans together. I miss you all and am looking forward to my visit back to my home country. Much love from across the pond.

[good-boy-ren]

thinking about multi-ren sleepover that becomes more than a sleepover, based on a post i rbed on my other blog. teehee.

[cw orgy, uhhh "clone sex" except the clones hate each other and don't want to do anything with each other and are focusing on a non-clone??????, small d/s mention]

they'd all hate each other because "something about their life is better than mine" -- he's a "grass is greener" guy for SURE in every universe -- but they'd all want to give me the night of my life KJNADKJN 😏😏😏

like. r!ren would sneak me a quick kiss. doc!ren would hold and kiss my hand. v!ren would snuggle up into the crook of my neck and mouth at it. poke!ren would put a hand just under the edge of my shirt to lightly run his fingers across my stomach. r!ren would slowly trail a hand up and down the outside of my sweatpants. doc!ren would start making out with me...

until eventually they're all trying to make me feel as good as they possibly can as they attempt to one-up each other. who can make me cum fastest? who can make me cum HARDEST? who can make me cum multiple times in a row in quick succession??? who can beat my personal record for how long i could keep myself going??? who could make me squirt or scream????

meanwhile i'm just trying to keep some semblance of control with my "good boy"s when they work together and "NO sir!"s when they try to fight hhghghgh. like the second i stop keeping their mind vaguely in that puppy state i'd be Completely Fucked (literally).

and then, once we're done and i Literally Cannot Move, they'd take good care of me, carrying me to the gigantic theoretical-big-mansion-from-the-og-post bathroom.

we'd all wash up, v!ren would wash my hair while r!ren scrubs my body, doc!ren would have a bathrobe waiting and poke!ren could dry my hair. r!ren would offer to give me a massage. doc!ren would cook something up for us. they're all too tired to argue about anything anymore, they just want to make the rest of the night as comfy as possible.

and eventually i fall asleep surrounded by multiple rens (don't ask me how they'd configure themselves around me KJNASKJN -- two is easy, three is doable, but... 4...?? hm!)

man. when i say i want to be tended to but also treated like an adult with the ability to make decisions for myself... this shit... ourghghghgh....

[miracle-sham]

I posted 46 times in 2022

15 posts created (33%)

31 posts reblogged (67%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ramos123

@maribat-calendar-events

@ao3feed-maribat

@miracle-sham

@ghostdoodlen

I tagged 34 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#issa's stolen a - 16 posts

#maribat - 15 posts

#sham's posts - 15 posts

#mgi mixer - 13 posts

#maribat mixer 2022 - 13 posts

#mgimixer - 13 posts

#maribat mixer - 13 posts

#maribat? get in! - 12 posts

#mlb x dc - 10 posts

#ml x dc - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#also totally didn't have this one sitting in the drafts for month and forget to post it until now either nope definitely not

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Of a Sinking Severed Heart—Bleeding 'Til the End.

| {MGI Team Mixer Event Alphabet Soup Drabble — Letter P} |

| {Blue, Sapphire, I Want To Go Home To My Wife, Soulmates} |

| [Ao3 Link] | | [Masterlist Link] | | [Spotify Link] |

———

| Dragons with soulmates were always said to have hearts made of the purest gemstones. Inevitably this led to them being hunted or captured for the wealth they could grant upon their death. |

| But sometimes, the reason for capturing one is far worse. |

———

| Word Count: 1,029. |

| Warnings/Tags: Major Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, implied/referenced torture, implied/referenced non consensual drug use, blood and injury, angst, hurt/no comfort, grief/mourning, non-graphic non-consensual body modification/amputation, dragon Tim Drake, dragon Marinette, and soulmates. |

———

| A/N: Here's the last fic of the event, finally cross-posted to Tumblr! |

| Please make sure to read those tags carefully before reading! But if you're able to handle that sort of content then I hope you enjoy! |

| Also side note, Don’t Like? Don’t Read. |

———

 This couldn't be it, this couldn't be the end. Not here, not now, not for her.

 Tim was helpless to do anything but watch from beyond the sickly green wrought iron cage—poisoned spikes on both the inside and outside of the bars to prevent any attempts at escape.

 Not that it stopped him, mind you. But all that brought him was mocking laughter, a cursed amulet preventing him from shifting back to his human form, clipped wings, horns cut, snout muzzled, sapphire scales torn and patchy—making it hurt to move, talons declawed—phalanges removed so they wouldn't ever grow back, and a cocktail of drugs fogging his mind and torpefying his body, all to keep him from being able to break out on his own.

 Marinette was his precious loving soulmate, she's a part of his hoard as much as he is of hers. Their hearts beat in sync. He could feel the distant frenetic desperate pulse of her heart tethered to him, completely in time to his equally pounding heart despite the distance between them. He could also feel the stinging scratches and scrapes on her hands and knees on his own, the deep ache in her muscles and bones in his, the flaring stabs across her torso and shoulders with every movement she makes in his as well, just as if those were his injuries instead of hers alone.

 She could probably feel the numb agony of the undoubtedly permanent damage done to him in this cage. How she was still able to keep going, keep fighting, with the pain slowly killing him—them—, was beyond him.

 That was how their soulbond worked, an eye for an eye, a heart for a heart, a soul for a soul, pain for pain. Bearing what the other is taking, sharing the burden of their suffering.

 A blessing and a curse, always being able to tell whether your soulmate was hiding injuries or overworking themselves to the detriment of their body. It was… it was probably a relief for her, in the time after his capture—to know the Joker's been keeping him alive.

 Marinette's heartbeat stuttered as the fight drew away from the cage and out of his sight. Heart in his throat, Tim barely holds back a desperate keel. He can't afford to distract her now—

 Electricity, surging through his body. Lancing pain whiting his vision out.

 He could barely hear her screams through the crackling around him. No, no, no, no—please.

 Maniacal laughter rang out clearly above the thundering of their shared heartbeat and the sizzling searing of electrical burns tearing through their bodies.

 And oh, oh…

  Oh no.

 If he thought the electricity was bad enough, then the five pinpricks of pain in the centre of his chest shouldn't have been noticeable.

 But it was. And brutally so. His chest. Ruptured open. Tearing and shredding apart like something was being ripped out. Or well, not his chest. But Marinette's.

See the full post

8 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#4

For Whom the Bell Tolls as Asphodels Alight.

| {MGI Team Mixer Event Alphabet Soup Drabble — Letter A} |

| {Clouds, Soulmates, Tattoos, He's dead again, Phantoms, I would die for you, Yeah but you won't shut up for me will you, Kisses, Cruel summer} |

| [Ao3 Link] | | [Masterlist Link | | [Spotify Playlist Link] |

| [Original Post Link] |

———

| Soulmates are each born with a tattoo of plant that grows with them until they die. |

| And Marinette is too late to prevent her's from wilting into ash as the city burns down around her. |

| Word Count: 794. |

| Warnings/Tags: Soulmates, Major character death, Fire, Angst, Hurt no comfort, Grief/mourning. |

———

| A/N: Miracle-Sham here, this is my first published piece for the MGI Discord Team Mixer event, and the first part of our team's alphabet soup collab! So I decided to start us off with an angsty bang by setting Gotham on fire. If angst isn't to your taste then check out the other chapters as we've got some wonderful tooth-rotting fluff for other letters! Regardless, I hope you all enjoy reading both this and the rest of our chapters! |

| Also this is a repost as the original post disappeared from the tags half an hour after posting so if this is familiar, that's why :l |

———

 Gotham burns with her people. Glowing golden in the grim morning sun as every window reflects the rising pyres, despite the thick clouds of smoke choking the grieving streets.

 And there is a fragility to the world as the ashes settle, and hope is rekindled yet again. It is not so much a precarious peace in the aftermath of tragedy, as it is the lurking dread that this isn't over yet after all. But it is. And magic cannot undo all the harm and damage that has been wrought—it cannot solve everything—even if Marinette hasn't just been a few agonising moments too late in reaching Jason’s distress beacon. In reaching him.

Keep reading

 Robinson Park, where his beacon guided her, has been hit the hardest, scorched to the bone with not even a single shoot of flora surviving. She can heal that at least, help Poison Ivy regrow old and new plants alike—courtesy of the additional powers the Ladybug Miraculous has granted her. Marinette cannot heal the ashen asphodels wreathed around her wrists, however—no matter how desperately she may try.

 A soulmate tattoo severed at the grasp of death—never to bloom once more; after all, he's dead, again and there are no second chances left, not for him, nor her.

 Marinette has watched that soulmate tattoo grow upon her skin, from a cluster of tiny seeds when she was but a baby, to vibrant shoots with unfurling linear leaves when she entered school for the first time, to the few earliest thin buds after donning the earrings, to the wreath of blossoming star-shaped flowers upon meeting him. And now? It's wilting—dead—like the city around them, and his ashen crumpled corpse cradled desperately in her arms—bleeding coldness into her bones.

 Truly, it is a bitter knowledge to grasp within her hands, that she can wish it so he had survived—or travel back so that she can prevent it from happening in the first place. To watch her soulmate tattoo bloom once more, she'd give anything.

 But a bitter knowledge it is indeed, for no matter the wish, Marinette can never make it, as the cost will always far outweigh the heart-rending temptations.

 The phantom of his last words echoes in her mind as she blinks back clouding tears.

 “I would die for you, y'know.” Jason had said it with such a heartfelt but casual tone, as he leant back against a gargoyle unperturbed with a cheeky grin on his face. Had he known back then? That his words would ring true—that they were the death knell tolling for himself? Or had he seen the death knell toll for her, and took its claim upon himself instead?

 Never before, has she regretted her final words in response to him, more. With a roll of her eyes, she had snorted, grumbling with a playful exasperation. “Yeah but you won't shut up for me, will you?”

 But now the words leave the phantom taste of ash in her mouth.

 And his silent answer to that had been the twinkle of his eyes as he then knelt before her, all chivalrous like, and took her hand in his—cupping it gently as if she were something precious—before peppering the back of her hand with sweet kisses.

 That was the last she had seen of him, before they had split off to deal with the tragedy descending on Gotham.

 And now the city and her people have been left to mourn what has been lost to the cruel summer flames.

 Slowly, like the sleeping of the dead, Marinette stands—with Jason still softly held in her arms. A pall of ash clouds the streets and skies as she begins the long trek back to the roof they had designated as the recall point. Then, once they reach there, they'll need to head back to the Batcave so that Jason can be interred in the family's private mausoleum at the back of the gardens.

See the full post

9 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

#3

Jasonette July 2021 Masterlist.

———

| {Jasonette July 2021, Saturday Challenge 1: Hurt No Comfort} |

| Yet So Poison Entwined We Fracture (YSPEWF) |

| [Tumblr Link] | | [Ao3 Link] |

—

| {Jasonette July 2021, Week 1, Day 2: Protection} |

| Amidst the Howls of Death Your Divinity Gives Me Breath (AtHoDYDGMB) |

| [Tumblr Link] | | [Ao3 Link] |

—

| {Jasonette July 2021, Week 1, Day 3: Grave} |

| Memento Mori Cries Our Shattered Souls (MMCOSS) |

| [Tumblr Link] | | [Ao3 Link] |

—

| {Jasonette July 2021, Week 1, Day 5: Fairytale} |

| Stitch Your Ragged Wings and Hope to Soar (SYRWaHtS) |

| [Tumblr Link] | | [Ao3 Link] |

—

| {Jasonette July 2021, Week 2, Day 7: Guns} | (Chapter 1)

| Die Like the Butterfly Shoot With Their Guns (DLtBSWTG) |

| [Tumblr Link] | | [Ao3 Link] |

| {Jasonette July 2021, Week 2, Day 10: Light} | (Chapter 2)

| In the Atelier's Glow the Pupa Phoebus will Eclose (ItAGtPPwE) |

| [Tumblr Link] | | [Ao3 Link] |

—

| {Jasonette July 2021, Saturday Challenge 3: And They Were Roommates} |

| Crack Your Bones and Say Those Lies (CYBaSTL) |

| [Tumblr Link] | | [Ao3 Link] |

—

| {Jasonette July 2021, Week 4, Day 19: Mistakes} |

See the full post

12 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

#2

A Brush With Death and the Fangs of Regret.

| {MGI Team Mixer Event} |

| {What other secrets did you keep from me?, Phantoms, Clouds, Would you just stop treating me like something you're trying to fix, Crimson, Wanna bet?, Am I safe with you?, and You hit surprisingly hard for the weakest member of your team} |

| Monsterhunting is a dangerous business, Marinette knows this well with how many close calls she's had over the years but perhaps this is the closest call to date. |

| Injured and answerless, she's forced to reckon with the missing pieces and gaps in her memories and hope she makes it out alive with her humanity intact. |

| Though it's starting to look more and more unlikely with every step she takes. |

| Word Count: 4,361. |

| Warnings/Tags: Alternative Universe—Fantasy/No Miraculous, Horror, Dread, Gothic Horror, Survival Horror, Unreliable Narrator, Monster Hunter Marinette, Vampire Jason, Alchemist Jonathon Crane, Memory loss, Blood and injury, Canon typical violence, Implied/referenced Character Death, Major character undeath, Implied/referenced vampire turning, Good Sibling Jason, Hurt Marinette, Hurt Jason, both deserce hugs, Angst, Mild hurt/comfort, Hallucinations, Loss of control, Loss of senses, Loss of trust, Swearing, Mind Mamipulation, Implied/referenced non consensual drug use, Implied/referenced needles, Unethical human experimentation, Near death experiences, Panic attacks/disassociation, ambiguous/open ending, Unreality. |

———

| A/N: Regarding the tags, please make sure to read all of them carefully before reading because even though most of it is all implied/referenced, it is still pretty dark/angsty. Also regarding the panic attack/disassociation those don't technically happen but they're the closest words i could think of to accurately describe what Marinette goes through during this fic and it gets a little heavy at point. If you struggle with unreality this may not be the fic for you because there is some very explicit unreality throughout the fic as a main theme, so if you're unsure please be careful. |

| If you think or know you can handle this kind of content, then I hope you enjoy this au! |

| Also side note, Don’t Like? Don’t Read. |

———

 Run! Marinette's mind screams. But her throat burns and her body aches like she's just gone toe to toe with an animated grotesque. And maybe she has! It's not like she can actually remember anything from the past three days, just a harrowing black void where her memory is and the knowledge that three days have passed, a fact that's waving red flags in her mind. Not to even mention that the rest of her memories predating the lost ones are blurry at best and incomprehensible at worst right now. After all, missing time and messed-up memories are dangerous symptoms for a monster hunter like herself to be experiencing, especially when disorientated and alone in an unfamiliar place—she knows that for certain at least. 

 Stifling a hiss between her teeth, Marinette dives, rolling into the nearest room and darting to one side of the door frame. Then, by hooking her fingers around it, cautiously shuts the wooden door—reinforced with iron bars and bolts—partially, until it's only barely ajar; as to make as little sound as possible to find her by.

 The manor house's basement is a maze and she's oh so vulnerably lost. She can't afford to stay here—stay still—for long. Holding her breath for a moment, she waits. The seconds pass like the dripping of blood from the deep gash curled across her collarbone and throat. Luckily though, the other new injuries she awoke with—littering her arms, legs, chest, and throat, looking dreadfully like signs of torture—are freshly scabbed over and haven't seemed to have reopened.

 A small mercy.

 Perhaps a little too violently for the stealth she desperately needs, she slams her shoulders back against the stone wall inside the room and lets herself slide to the floor, legs giving way beneath her. The impact will probably bruise nastily, knowing her luck.

 She hasn't got time to clean the wound on her neck, meaning she'll still be easy to track via the scent of her blood but really, it's too late now all things considered, and there's no water or alcohol she could even use to do so in the first place anyway. Scrabbling for a scrap of cloth, she tears the bottom of her tunic and wraps it with practised deftness around her neck to cover the gash in a temporary bandage—better than nothing.

 In, two, three, four. Her shoulders shake as she struggles for every slow breath, desperately willing her heartbeat to steady from its frenetic rhythm.

 Out, two, three, four.

 Footsteps approach.

 Marinette freezes, pulse skyrocketing and breath hitching in terror. No, no, no! He's coming, he's coming, he's coming!

 Who, she doesn't quite know but what she does know, is that instinctual fear for her survival clouding her mind.

 Closer, and closer, floorboards groaning and moaning in warning. Only accentuated by the scraping prowl of hardened leather soles against the wood.

 Bloody fingers scramble at the crossbow resting on her belt, silver bolt at the ready.

 The footsteps reach the threshold of the doorframe, nails squealing in the floorboard beneath the boots. Hinges on the door wailing as whoever lurks behind, slowly begins prising it open like a coffin.

 Quick as a flash, Marinette yanks the crossbow from its belt hook and up at the now-open door. Without hesitating to aim, fires. There's a clunk of the mechanism activating and a twang as it shoots.

 Thunk, as it misses.

 “Shit! Fuck!” An almost familiar voice yelps, sounding strained with a growl between their teeth.

See the full post

13 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Fwigid They Fwoze Midst H-Heawt Thawing Woes.

| Apwil Fowols |

| [Ao3 Link] | | [Masterlist Link] |

| E-Evewyonye awways thought Wadybug was unbweakabwe. That she w-w-was immunye t-to nyegative feewings, unwike the west of Pawis. That she w-wouwd nyevew fawtew, nyevew faiw, nyevew faww. And so nyo onye couwd have e-expected when twagedy w-wagedy stwikes and Pawis fawws at the hands of hew once bewoved hewo. |

| Nyow who couwd save them aww, f-fwom the icy cwutches of a devastating Akuma? |

| And wouwd anyonye e-even t-twy to save the o-once bewoved hewo, o-ovew the countwess suffewing civiwians? |

———

| Word Count: 4,970. |

| Warnings/Tags: Akumanette/akumatized Marinette, Implied/referenced character death motif, Temporary character death, Not really character death, Grief/Mourning motif, Blood and Injury, Canon-typical violence, Minor violence, Snow/ice powers and theme, Frozen apocalypse/icy wasteland, Lovers to enemies, Hurt no comfort, Angst, OwO/UwU speak/translated. |

———

| A/N: So I wasn't actually going to post anything today until this morning before college, I remembered a conversation with Saf nearly a year ago about wanting to post a fic in complete UwU speak on April Fools and not having written anything in time. So here's half a fic in UwU speak because the full fic (which is hurt/comfort and Angst with a happy ending as opposed to no comfort) because I could not bring myself to translate over 10k into OwO speak whilst in class. 5k is my limit, plus again the last bit of the fic is unfinished. Anyway the entire time I spent translating this i kept thinking "I'm so sorry to whoever actually reads this in it's entirety". |

| The full fic, when completed, will not be in UwU speak and will be posted as a separate fic btw. So uh yeah, enjoy reading this and suffering I guess! And Happy Apwil Fowols :3 |

———

Was it awways doomed fwom t-the stawt? Mawinyette wondewed howwowwy wowwowwy, eyes fwickewing fwom fwozen wuin to fwozen wuin. Bawewy Wawewy visibwe fwom within the seething fwuwwy wuwwy of snyowfwakes.

B-Bweak.

Bwinding.

An unyending expanse o-of gwistenying and swiwwing snyow and ice. Awmost too bwight and too obscuwing to see anything ewse. Even despite t-the d-duwwnyess of nyight.

A white-out iwwuminyated by the snyowgwow.

N-Nyow, the onwy company w-wompany she couwd keep wewe the i-immowtawised fwozen statues of the peopwe who wewe unyabwe to escape the devastation of the descending bwizzawd she wwought. Theiw siwence of wife was deafenying.

A chiwwing mockewy wockewy o-of what had haunted hew nyightmawes.

Kicking hew wegs idwy fwom hew pwecawiouswy wecawiouswy pwecious position on the w-waiwings of the Eiffew Towew, the famiwiawity wamiwiawity of the action a-awmost buwnyed as cowd as the fwigid city i-itsewf. Was this how Chat fewt? She mused, stawing at the bweached white a-and faded bwue spots of hew W-Wadybug?—Fwozen Heawt? Wady Bwanc s-suit. S-Shaking hew head, she couwdn't hewp but cuww hew w-wips swightwy wightwy in distaste. M-Maybe it's iwony wony that I-I didn't end u-up in bwack w-with wed spots wike aww the fawse Wadybug Akumas.

But hew nyew cowouws a-awe what she desewved. An echo of hew once-pawtnyew; just as she w-was an echo of the hewo s-she used to be. Especiawwy Weciawwy in how the a-accents of hew nyew suit echoed the suit the ice powew up gave hew, with the cwystawwinye and snyowfwake pattewns covewing t-the once-wed-nyow-white pawts, and the ice bwue cwystaws awong hew waist and a-awound the yo-yo.

P-Pewhaps, thewe was some smaww comfowt in t-t-t-that the destwuction she c-caused was wittwe i-in compawison to that of Chat Bwanc's. She tiwted hew head to t-the side and stawed up at the nyight's snyow gwow-wight cwouded skies. Hew moon was stiww intact f-fow onye, nyot that it was v-visibwe f-fwom hewe any wongew though. Though, nyot quite a s-s-s-smaww mewcy w-w-wewcy so much as a-anyothew chiwwing mockewy wockewy, weawwy.

She c-cwenched hew fists, so that the icicwes cwinging t-to the metaw dug into hew suit's gwoves. Fow two, onwy hew Pawis had b-been affected this time. And fow thwee, hew death toww was signyificantwy wignyificantwy wowew, what with onwy kiwwing a-a huge swathe of Pawis' popuwation as opposed to how he wiped out aww wife except h-himsewf. Hew Pawis stiww h-had suwvivows wuwking within the desowation. Tweading twacks thwough bittew winds, cwinging to swowwy wowwy petwifying hope. Suwvivows t-that wouwd scweam and cwy and yeww and twy e-evew so futiwewy wutiwewy to fight whenyevew they saw hew, weduced to a wwaith of h-hew fowmew gwowy wowy. The onwy sounds othew than the c-c-cwunch and cwackwe of ice and snyow, ow the tinkwing of i-icicwes in the wind.

Nyot to mention, hew H-Hawkmoth stiww wingewed on. With his bwack ice gwazed goadings that fwactuwed hew m-mind wike hew and Chat Nyoiw's bonyes benyeath his buttewfwy wuttewfwy staff.

A haunting wemindew that she had fawwen, faiwed them, that even theiw bewoved wittwe hewoes wewen't i-infawwibwe.

Scoffing to hewsewf, Wady Bwanc shook hew head and shifted hew position so t-that she couwd c-cuww u-u-up i-into a b-baww and west hew heavy weavy head upon hew knyees. Though, thewe was nyo cwown to weigh hew down, just the cowd hawsh wastewand that she h-had wuptuwed in wime.

(It was awmost iwonyic stiww, that the ice powew up suit she once wowe so w-wong ago, gave hew an icicwe tiawa but h-hew a-akuma fowm did nyot.)

Nyonyethewess Pawis as i-it was a-and nyow is, had fowmed the fweezing pwison of h-hew own making. Even with Hawkmoth's infwuence shattewed wike the ice of his statue's fowm, W-Wady Bwanc was tethewed—ice-bound—to Pawis. A cwuew twist o-of iwony w-wony that with hew fwozen heawt, Hawkmoth had ensuwed hew weaknyess was the w-wawmth, the h-h-heat. T-To e-ensuwe nyothing wouwd thaw hew heawt, especiawwy weciawwy nyot s-some pitifuwwy witifuwwy despewate pwofessions of wuv, fwendship, and cwaims t-that the weaw hew was s-stiww i-i-inside and that she just nyeeded to fight his infwuence.

Biting back a bittew w-waugh, she ignyowed the nyeaw siwent w-whispews in the back of hew mind cwying those vewy same pwocwaims. Something Hawkmoth hadn't anticipated. Especiawwy Weciawwy s-seeing how hew once-pawtnyew had tuwnyed out aftew so wong in isowation. Wouwd that be my fate too?

See the full post

18 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[moodymisty]

Okay so I know that you talked about the Crosshair fic you plan to work on, HOWEVER, I saw your kinks request list and my mind in in full gear now.

So I raise you with Crosshair being so overstimulated by the reader that he begs them to stop or at the very least slow down. Do you understand the kind of power that can hold over me? How fucking useless I am just staring into space and sighing dreamily at this idea? I blame you wholeheartedly because now I’m stuck looking at a wall and not getting anything done

Authors note: I just want you to know, where ever you are in the world, you and I are on the same wavelength. I hear you, I see you, I feel you.

So my current ✧･ﾟ: Crossy ✧･ﾟ ; WIP is very similar in regards to just completely obliterating Crosshair. But, I had another similar idea that I decided to put here, since it burst forth from me with little to no warning. Seems to be a theme. This fic also made me realize that half of my blog is just, sucking clone dick. Ummmm, oops? I swear I have non-blowjob content coming( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) soon.

Relationships: Crosshair/GN!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Oral(male receiving), Voyeurism, Overstimulation, Crosshair shooting his rifle at a range,

"I'm bored."

Crosshair doesn't bother looking your direction, feeling the way your tone tells him everything. He knows you're watching him from behind with your arms crossed, there's no need for him to see.

"Then find something to keep yourself busy."

Of course he'd say that, as if he wasn't the one who'd dragged you out here to begin with. You use the term 'dragged' loosely however, as you were the one who had wanted to spend some time with him, and this was how it had ended up.

The long range shooting gallery was used far less than the normal one, given that sniper training was a special skill set that not every clone utilized constantly. And as such it was completely empty today, other than you and Crosshair.

He prefers it this way, meanwhile you find it incredibly boring.

There wasn't even anyone else to talk to, since Crosshair failed to make an entertaining conversation while he was too busy boring holes into a target plate. If there was a reg here you might've attempted to make him jealous for some sort of entertainment, even if it had the chance of backfiring horribly.

Walking forward across the room, you move to lean against the small divider that separates one shooting lane from another. He glances to the side at you for a moment, but ultimately doesn't comment. You don't either, until you notice the way his brow furrows; Intensely concentrated on something that for him, doesn't really require too much effort.

"Awfully focused, isn't this stuff just a joke for you?" He fires another shot, furthering his attempt at making something out of the blaster holes. You can't quite tell what it is yet, though he only started recently.

"You are really full of incredible commentary today, aren't you?"

“As always.” You scoff. Your eyes slowly travel down his arms and to his hands, seeing the way his hands wrap around his rifle. Compared to his brothers and the regs Crosshair is remarkably lithe, seeing the way his fingers move from years of muscle memory and intense focus. He was quite literally born for this, and takes every single shot no matter how easy as serious as he would if it was real.

You wonder what it would take for him to lose that focus, since he seems so damn insistent on boring you near or to death.

Glancing downward even further you notice the space between the walls of the shooting lane and his legs, hidden and mostly out of view. It gives you an idea; One that's strong enough to have you quickly on your knees, squeezing down to get into the hidden area shadowed by the table his rifle rests on. Needless to say Crosshair instantly notices, and leans back just enough to look at you down there.

"And what exactly are you doing?" It takes you a moment to figure out what you need to pull it in order to remove his armor, not looking up as your fingers feel around his hips.

"Finding something to keep me busy. Like you said." Managing to figure out the complex and unintuitive way to get the offending piece of armor off, you hear him take another shot with his rifle; Leaning forward into proper form again. He didn't even object to it, nor did he attempt to care.

Well, if he's going to just act like he isn't bothered, you'll take the whole thing as a challenge then.

The groin seam of a GAR sanctioned body glove is easy to use, something you’ve never really been thankful for until now. Your hand slips between the fabric, gently pulling out his cock from where it laid against his thigh.

Licking your palm from wrist to fingertip your wrap your hand around his cock and slowly move back and forth, feeling him twitch against your palm. He doesn’t audibly react that you notice, nor any other way than just a slight adjustment of his stance.

But his cock is already half hard so you know he’s affected by it, leaning forward to blow air gently against the tip. Adjusting on your knees you lean your head forward just enough to press your lips against his tip, dragging them down the side of his cock all the way to the base.

The sound of metal on metal clanking you assume is because he's messing with a piece of his rifle, while you drag your lips back to the tip of his cock and slowly wrap your mouth around him.

He fires another shot as your tongue laps against the large vein on the underside of his cock, your hands gripping at the armor on his thighs to hold yourself steady. He adjusts his stance again, forcing your body to follow just a tad. While he may seem unaffected, you'd say you know Crosshair quiet well; Enough so that he isn't actually all that subtle, you just need to know what to look for. His one foot is fidgeting, and he's standing more ridged than normal.

"You best be hoping no one else decides to practice today." No one will; Out of all the times you've been in here, you've maybe seen a handful of regs.

Despite his best efforts however you notice the way his voice sounds almost strained, feeling the way your lips gently wrap around his cock while the taste of precum hits your tastebuds. Moaning around him you adjust on your knees, moving to wrap a hand around the base of his cock that your mouth can't reach without him almost hitting your throat.

You think he grumbles something but it's too muffled for you to hear, and your mouth is too full to try and ask him what he said. It was probably some sort of angry mumble at you doing this to him, feeling your touch become harder, faster. Your hand pumps him faster with the rhythm of your bobbing head, glancing up to see the way he's still leaning over onto the tabletop.

It's been awhile since you've heard his rifle; He hasn't fired a shot for a considerable amount of time.

Pulling your mouth off his cock for a moment to take a deep breath of air, you quickly wrap your lips around him again bobbing your head and listening to the way he lets out an audibly surprised sound.

"K-kriff," Suddenly you feel his hand on your head, attempting to push you back but with little to no avail. You keep going, only emboldened by the way he's finally cracked.

"You gotta cool it down there." You have no plans to do any such thing, taking him as deeply into your mouth as you can while your hand grips at the plates of his armor. It makes spit pool in your mouth as he presses against the back of your tongue, but the way he almost crumples as you moan around him is well worth it.

"Seriously, you gotta-" He hisses through gritted teeth, hearing the sound of his rifle's stand wobble on the rest. His legs are noticeably less stable, and his body is leaned forward, supporting himself by putting his forearms on the table. You can hear the way he's clearing his throat and attempting not to moan, having completely abandoned any further attempts to shoot. He can't handle the way your tongue presses against his cock, feeling you moan with each movement of your head; Mouth completely full.

He lets out a loud, almost hiss-like groan, clearly muffled by a clenched fist as his hips suddenly thrust forward in the direction of your mouth.

“Kriff, slow down,”

He can’t keep up the unaffected ploy anymore, holding the edge of the table with a death drip.

You hear his first slam on the table multiple times, and it's more than fair to assume he's completely overwhelmed, desperately seeking more as his cock throbs in your mouth.

The motion makes his helmet topple to the ground, rolling across the floor until it stops a short ways away.

His one leg is bent a little almost buckling underneath him, feeling the way your mouth is almost suffocatingly hot around him. He swears loudly, cutting himself off by gritting his teeth. Now he's the one hoping no one will want to practice here tonight, as he'd rather do a million other things than be caught like this as you suck him off.

Hearing him helplessly groan he can't handle anymore of you and suddenly finishes in your mouth, hands flexing as he grips the edge of the table tight as he can without breaking it. He feels the way your mouth wraps around him, moving as you swallow and his hips jerk forward attempting to press deeper. You have to pull back enough to swallow, hearing his ragged breathing.

A small bit of spit trails down the corners of your mouth, and you slowly, teasingly pull your lips off his cock before wiping your mouth. Now free from your torture Crosshair leans back upright and looks down, spotting you.

It's the first time you've seen his face in a bit, and you can clearly see how warm it is, as well as the way his brow is furrowed; Refusing to make full eye contact with you.

"Are you done?" He says, glancing down at you for a moment and seeing the way you lick your lips.

"Are you?" It almost makes you laugh the way he visibly bristles, adjusting himself and his armor back into place before all but slamming his rifle into it's case and snapping the latches closed.

Getting up off of your knees Crosshair grasps your wrist and nearly starts dragging you, forcing you to have to trot in order to keep up. You can still see his face from his nose to the tips of his ears are flushed, his lips pursed tight. Of course now however a few unfortunate regs decided to step right in his way as you walk into the hallway, and Crosshair slams shoulders with one on the way out.

"Sorry!" Is the only thing you can yell over your shoulder before they're out of eyesight, all confused about what had just happened. You turn back to Crosshair and look at him, raising your eyebrows.

"Soooo, am I in trouble?" The look he gives you could cut durasteel.

Yeah, you're in trouble.

[shingia]

can i req suna,, akaashi and iwa (and anyone else u want!!) getting jelly abt the s/o hanging out with another guy and being touchy (like the playful smacking or smth) without knowing the guy was their brother? angst to fluff bc i want the ✨ pain ✨ if u dont wanna its fine too,,

thanks bby,, love ur works so much! stay safe and healthy 😫💗

✗ HQ BOYS GETTING JEALOUS OF A GUY WITHOUT KNOWING HE’S YOUR BROTHER ✗

me receiving a request : 🥰 the request including suna :🤩 tysmm bby stay safe and healthy tooo <3

-> suna, iwaizumi, akaashi

-> angst to fluff

-> reblogs help a lot <33

— SUNA

• he hadn’t asked many questions when you told him you couldn’t come over to his house in the afternoon. but now, as he was replaying your snapchat story for the sixth time, he really wished he did

• maybe if he had insisted on coming with you, you wouldn’t have let this guy - that he had never seen, for the record - act so touchy with you

• was it his fault for not making you feel special enough ? to the point that you preferred the company of other men rather than your own boyfriend’s ?

• just the thought of this was enough to make a few of his usually well-hidden insecurities bubble up - most of them due to what his friends always joked about « suna doesn’t care enough to be in a relationship, they’ll all run away after a week ! »

• so yes, suna was hurt, but you didn’t have to see that. your opinion on him was the only one he cared about, he didn’t want to tarnish it. well... your opinion and his little sister’s, who burst into his room as he was about to watch your story for the seventh time to tell him that « someone’s at the door ! »

• not feeling like getting out of bed, it took him a few minutes to drag his feet to the door before finally opening it. and of all the people he could have expected to see, you were the last of them

• « surprise ? » you smiled as you let yourself in, not noticing the surprised look on his face as you greeted him with a tight hug. « i felt bad for cancelling our afternoon together, so i asked my brother to drop me off »

• you weren’t even done talking that suna had already recognized the man in the car that was leaving his driveway. his embrace immediately softened, and a smile crept on his face as he felt all his doubts vanish in a second

• « nuh-uh, don’t take your jacket off beautiful, i’m taking you out », he told you, determined to spoil you in the way he regretted not doing sooner

• at his words, his sister almost magically appeared next to you, coat in hand and ready to go. « you weren’t planning on leaving without me, right ? » she flashed you a toothless grin, grabbing both your hand and his to drag you two outside

• suna shared a deadpanned look with you, « of course not... » you both said in unison as she was already leading the way to her favorite ice cream shop

— IWAIZUMI

• iwa’s trust in you was infinite. but something about the way this guy had his arm playfully wrapped around your shoulders didn’t sit right with him

• his practice had ran late and he was exhausted. but he had promised you he would pop over to the birthday party of your childhood best friend, knowing how much it mattered to you

• but your behavior looked an awful lot like an attempt at making him jealous... and it was working

• was it your way of letting him know that you two weren’t working anymore ? were you just too much of a coward to be clear about it ? he hated to think about you that way. and most of all, he cared about you too much to not step in

• « ok now you got my attention » he told you after pulling you to the side. « if you want to tell me something, go ahead, i’m listening »

• still trapped in the euphoria of the moment, you didn’t really understand how upset he was. but maybe it was for the best, because it allowed you to defuse the tension lightheartedly : « i can’t believe i forgot to introduce you ! » you let out as you dragged him back to where your brother was still standing

• his jaw still clenched, iwa couldn’t even bring himself to shake this stranger’s hand, as friendly as he looked. at least not until you spoke your next words : « he was actually telling me how excited he was to finally met his future brother-in-law ! »

• iwa’s lips slightly parted in confusion, you could almost hear the cogs turning in his head over the music. brother? well that explained a lot of things

• « h-hi, sorry i was... miles away » he apologized before finally shaking the hand your brother was holding out to him

• but once the surprise had passed, another word stuck with him : brother-in-law ? as in « my sibling speaks so highly of you that i’m willing to let you put a ring on their finger even though i have never met you yet » ?

• well, it was good to know that your brother agreed with the plans he’d had for you since day 1...

— AKAASHI

• it was not unusual for akaashi to think that maybe he was not good enough for you. but being actually jealous was a first for him

• he had promised himself to never be too overprotective of you. but the facts were here : it was 3am and the only thing keeping him up was this unknown feeling of pure jealousy

• if he had not been in such a hurry when he witnessed your lighthearted banter and playful fighting with this man in the afternoon, he would’ve come up to you. introduced himself. maybe asked a few questions. if

• suspecting that this unpleasant feeling would not go away unless he talked to you about it, akaashi found himself dialling your number in the middle of the night

• used to his thoughts polluting his mind at unpredictable hours of the day and the night, your ringer was always on. which is why you picked up after only two rings

• « hi angel, i’m sorry to wake you up, i just... » he started, the clarity of his tone letting you know that he had not slept a wink. feeling his hesitation, you were quick to reassure him « it’s ok keiji. what’s going on ? »

• « who were you with ? i mean- this afternoon ? i don’t think i’ve ever met that guy and i was just wondering if... maybe i should ? »

• sitting up straight on your bed, you felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders. if this was the only thing keeping him awake, he should be able to fall asleep in the following minutes. « i was with my brother. but i understand why you were confused, it’s a normal reaction so please don’t blame yourself for that, alright baby ? »

• the gasp you heard on the other end of the line made you chuckle. akaashi’s voice was much less tensed now : « well in that case, yeah i should probably meet him... if you’re ok with that »

• « i’m more than ok with that » you smiled, placing your phone down on your pillow « wanna stay on the phone for a bit ? »

• « that’d be nice », his voice sounded sleepy already, especially above the familiar sound of his covers being pulled up to his chin

— ATSUMU

• how could he put that in words ? he didn’t even know if he was allowed to be jealous because he knew how often you had to see him deal with his many fangirls

• and that was actually what bugged him the most : that he might have already made you feel as shitty as he was feeling now

• but atsumu wasn’t the type to sit down and seriously open up about his feelings. besides, it was much easier to look like a needy boyfriend rather than a vulnerable one

• so he resorted to what he was best at : physical touch as a way to get your attention

• sneaking up behind you, he didn’t give you any warning before wrapping both his arms around your waist and pressing his chest on your back so much that you almost had to bend over

• he really hoped you would be perceptive enough to understand that he wasn’t just being clingy, but in need of a lot of reassurance. and luckily, it was quick to come :

• « tsumu, let me introduce you my brother » you chuckled, understanding how and why he had been mistaken

• one hand still on your waist, he used the other to greet your brother. atsumu did not really seem fazed by the news. of course he was relieved to know that he had nothing to worry about, but this little experience had still been very eye-opening to him

• after your brother had left to give you two some privacy, tsumu’s grip on your waist tightened, but in a softer way

• « ‘m sorry if i ever made ya cry » he let out, completely out of the blue. you didn’t really understand the meaning of this, but it didn’t matter. your hand found its way to his cheek that you brushed lightly with one finger, admiring the how it was slowly turning red. « being jealous sucks... » he added.

• « it does », you approved, giving him a quick peck on the nose. « but there’s nothing and no one that you should worry about, i promise »

• a fond smile lit up his face. you looked sincere, and he really needed to hear that right now. quick as ever, his hands left your waist to come and rest on your cheeks. both holding each other’s faces, you stared at the other for a few seconds, wondering which one of you would give in to a kiss first

TAGLIST : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @kelsuuki @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac @ijustwantfreenetflix @mimaki @maitenight

[linorachas]

for the weekend. | bang chan

⁍ pairing — bang chan x reader ⁍ genre — fluff & smut  ⁍ word count — 4.8k words ⁍ details — established relationship, producer!chan, choreographer!reader, lots of cuddles and kissing, oral (m. receiving), dirty talk, d/s undertones, mention of the word “cockslut”, chan worship, you’re both really in love ⁍ a/n — hello! i’m a new writing blog for skz. :D this is my first work here, so i’d love to hear your thoughts. i accept criticism, but please be nice i am trying my best ㅠㅠ part 2 is here! thank you to everyone who let me know that they wanted a part 2! ♥️ ⁍ summary — After a long week of hard work, you finally spend a weekend with Chan.

Friday - 2:03 am

 Your footsteps are light and quick as you rush down the hall, duffel bag bumping against your back as it bounces from your movements. 

You were sweaty, sticky, and overall about to pass out, but there was a wide grin on your face once you stopped in front of a very familiar studio door.

You had just finished helping create a choreography for an idol group, a whole day of repeating dance moves and drawing positions on papers. 

Your out was supposed to be at 7, but you had done overtime with the intent to clear your schedule tomorrow. You would have to do overtime on Monday again, but that didn’t matter right now.

All that matters was the boy behind this door who was working just as hard as you are.

Inside, Chan was hunched over his desk, headphones in, hand cramping as he furiously jots down some notes. 

He wasn’t required to stay in, no, he could’ve left hours ago and be asleep right now. But going home without you always bothered him, so he had decided to stay until his girlfriend was finished. 

He knew you felt the same, though. You once told him that you would just be tossing and turning in bed if you went home without him. When the tables are turned and he was the one doing the overtime, you would doze on a chair beside him while he worked, or spend some time at the studio yourself.

Chan had checked the time just a few minutes ago, and he knew that you were already on your way here. Unfortunately, he had made the mistake of starting on a new project while waiting, so it would bother him if he left this unfinished while he rested at home. 

So now he was cramming, rushing to finish at least a draft. 

 You, on the other side of the door, didn’t bother with knocking, and just pushed the door open slowly. 

 Your eyes immediately find your boyfriend’s busy form; Chan’s hair was covered by a reversed snapback, basketball short clad legs tucked Indian style on top of his chair. 

 You feel a tug on your heartstrings as you watch Chan work hard for the sake of a free day tomorrow, a free day for you two.

 You smile at the way Chan taps the pen on the desk to an unfamiliar beat or taps it to the snapback on his head, before going back to writing again. 

 Chan also does these annoyed puffs of breath every few seconds, something you found to be very endearing ever since the first day you met. 

 When Chan groans in frustration, you finally walk inside and shut the door behind you, dropping your duffel bag on the floor.

 Chan freezes and stops writing when he feels arms wrapping around his neck, but the feeling is immediately gone when his brain registers that it’s his baby. 

 You press small close mouthed kisses on Chan’s cheek before you nuzzle your head against the crook between Chan’s neck and shoulder, and a smile blooms on Chan’s face.

 “Sorry,” Chan mutters, yanking his earphones down when you stop kissing him and pull away. You don’t answer. Instead, you remove Chan’s snapback from his head and card your fingers through his hair gently. 

 Chan sighs contentedly, eyes slipping shut as he leans his head back on the chair, following the flow of your fingers. He opens his eyes again when you lean down and press a kiss to his lips, 

 his nose, 

 and then his forehead. 

 You grin at him, and despite being in an unflattering upside down angle, Chan thinks you look absolutely gorgeous like this.

 Barefaced, happy, and in love.

 “It’s okay, Channie,” you finally say, after seconds of just gazing at each other lovingly passes. “I know you’re doing it for our vacation, anyway.”

 Chan lets out a small laugh as you fix the cap back on his head. “It’s just two days, baby.” 

 “Two days of sleeping, eating, and maybe some sex? I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a heavenly vacation to me.” You babble unashamedly, hands sliding down Chan’s torso to massage his pecs— making him squirm and laugh— before you slide them up again to massage his shoulder joints. 

 Chan sighs as he lets the feeling of your fingers relieving the aches wash over him, but then he catches sight of the mess of papers on his desk, and a frustrated frown replaces his smile.

 “Will you wait for me?” Chan asks hopefully. Though deep inside, he kind of already knew the answer.

 Still, his heart starts to beat too fast and his stomach fills with too many butterflies when you wrap your arms around his neck again, pressing your cheek against Chan’s own as you mutter, “of course. You know I always will.”

 And then you seal the promise with a kiss. Chan pretends he doesn’t chase after your lips when you pull away.

 He goes back to work with you still wrapped around him, and after a few moments, you start to shift. Chan’s free hand quickly darts up to your arms that are slowly loosening, so you stay still, alarmed. 

 “Stay.” Chan mumbles distractedly, eyes darting hurriedly across the papers. It’s selfish, yes, making you stand behind him for God knows how long, but Chan had always worked better when you were this close. 

 You would have seen the embarrassed blush that dotted across Chan’s cheeks if you weren’t so flustered yourself, hiding your face in Chan’s shoulder blades again when you fail to suppress a wide grin. 

 So you busy yourself with basking in Chan’s warmth instead, squeezing Chan tight every once in a while just to see him squirm and attempt to glare at you. 

 Suddenly, all your sore muscles from dancing were gone, and you were content to stand behind your boyfriend for as long as he wanted you to. 

 When Chan is finally finished and you’ve shut off all the lights, locked the door and gathered all your belongings— Chan throws an arm around your shoulder while you wrap your own arm around your boyfriend’s waist. 

 You both giggle, talk in stage whispers, and stumble down the corridor like drunken fools despite being completely sober. You hold onto each other like it was your last time to do so, as if you were reassuring yourselves that the other is still there.

 For extra measure, Chan presses his lips against your temple, whispering a sweet “I love you, Y/N. So so, so much.” that only the two of you could hear as you go out into the cold night, wrapped in each other’s warmth. 

 The streetlights look like stars in his eyes, and you ask yourself again how lucky you are to have fallen in love with Bang Chan.

Saturday - 2:54 pm

 3:16 am, you and Chan are pressed against each other as you settle into a deep sleep, blankets tucked around your bodies to shield yourselves from the cold. 

 4:23 am, you accidentally kick the blanket off the bed, leaving the both of you exposed to the cold temperature of the room. You shiver in your sleep. 

 Chan wakes up long enough to grumble about the blanket and do a half assed search around the room, just to end up pulling you closer to his chest and wrap both his arms around you. It doesn’t do much for Chan himself, but you stop shivering then, so Chan falls back asleep with a smile on his face.

 8:44 am, Chan’s phone rings. The ringtone almost rivals Chan’s snores, and the combination of the two sounds force you to wake up, annoyed. Chan was in the middle of the bed, arms and legs splayed out, while you were on top of him, cheek pressed against his chest. 

 You only have the energy to lift your head up, glare at the sun peeking from behind the curtain and at Chan’s phone, before you drop your head back on Chan’s chest heavily, startling the said boy awake. 

 Chan stops mid snore and the sound is so funny that you feel a smile tug on your lips, but then his  phone rings again.

 “Yah, Chan-ah,” you whine, wiggling upwards to bury your face in Chan’s neck. “Make it stop.”

 “Sorry babe,” Chan groans, trying to blink the sleep away from his eyes as he cups the back of your head. His free hand reaches for his phone on the nightstand, pressing it to his ear after 3 sad attempts of hitting the answer button. 

 Your hearing is muffled because of your position and Chan’s hand covering your head, and you only manage to hear a “no, no, we can’t, we’re sleeping in. Sorry Bin,” before you drown out the conversation entirely, the vibrations of Chan’s voice lulling you back to sleep. 

 Finally, at 2:54 pm, you wake up again, but this time you’re really awake. 

 Your stomach is grumbling and you’re so hungry it‘s starting to hurt. You try to move, but find yourself unable to because of the limbs restricting from doing so.

 This time, one of Chan’s legs is on top of you, covering your lower half entirely. Chan’s head is lying on the pillow, and there’s drool on his chin and it’s gross, so you use the sleeve of your shirt to wipe it quickly. Thankfully he didn’t drool on your hair.

 Chan’s holding your other arm to his own chest as if it was a teddy bear, his body curled into your side snugly. When you lean back slightly to take a proper look at him, Chan’s nose twitches like a rabbit and the grip on your arm tightens. You snort.

 “Chan. Channie,” you mutter before you bury your face in Chan’s hair, squeezing the sleeping boy in an attempt to wake him up gently. 

 Chan lets out a grunt, but doesn’t do much to prove he’s really awake. You sigh. 

 What the hell are you supposed to do now?

 It takes you more than a few attempts, but you finally release your arm from Chan’s grip. However, just when you were about to start working on his leg, Chan suddenly slips his own arm under you, turning you over so you end up on top of him again. He does it so easily that it startles you, cheeks burning red at the sudden display of strength.

 “It’s our day off, give me one more hour.” Chan grumbles. He was still half asleep so most of his sentence was incoherent, but if anyone was an expert in sleepy Chan language, it was you.

 You glance at the wall clock on the other side of the room, grimacing once you realize why you were starving. “Shit. We really wasted the whole day away by sleeping, dude. It’s 3 pm.”

 “Stop calling me dude.” He huffs. “And it’s a vacation, Y/N. Let me sleep. Let us sleep.” 

 You pout when you get your own words thrown back at you, and then it’s as if Chan has a sixth sense for your pouting, because he’s suddenly lifting his head up to press a kiss to your chin, eyes still closed.

 You’re guessing he was aiming for your lips, but he was fighting a hard battle between properly kissing you and falling back asleep. It was endearing.

 “Love you,” Chan mutters groggily, and was about to drop his head back on the pillow when you stop him with a proper kiss to the lips. It’s a very awkward angle, but you both blush and giggle as if it’s your first kiss.

 “Mmmmhm,” Chan pulls away after a few seconds of close mouthed kisses, eyes now blinking open as he frowns at you. “Don’t kiss me. Morning breath.”

 You giggle, leaning up on your elbows to take a proper look at him, heart squeezing at the way his lips were pouted. His bed head looked like a bird’s nest and his eyes were swollen. You couldn’t resist pressing another peck to his lips at the sight.

 “But I just did.” You grin, cupping Chan’s cheek as you press small, rapid kisses on his face. “Besides, it’s afternoon.”

 Chan rolls his eyes, pretending as if he wasn’t chasing your lips with every kiss. And you giggle again, because you were giddy that Chan is finally awake and you were in love with him, and those two don’t really connect, but whatever. 

 Barely a minute passes before Chan’s eyes start to slip shut again, and it’s only then that you realize you’ve been running your hand through your boyfriend’s hair unconsciously.

 “The day’s over, anyway,” Chan places a hand at the back of your head, gently leading you to his neck. He presses a kiss to your forehead then yawns, fingernails scratching your scalp gently to lure you into going back to sleep. “Let’s just stay in bed.”

 And you, you were so tempted to say yes, especially with how warm and comfortable you were in the love of your life’s arms, but then your stomach starts to wail like a dying animal, and both you and Chan wince.

 “Chan-“

 “I heard it.”

 You laugh, a loud, refreshing sound that makes Chan’s heart pump wildly, and you feel his lips form into a smile when he presses a kiss to your forehead again, longer this time.

 Chan then wraps both of his arms around your waist, turning you both over to the side. Your arms come up to lock around Chan’s neck, and your eyes meet when you look up. 

 Chan’s eyes were twinkling, and you’re not so sure if it’s because of the light behind you.

 “Hello,” Chan says casually, and you make a sound between huffing and laughing.

 “Will you at least let me go so I can make breakfast?”

 “It’s already afternoon,” Chan half-heartedly reasons, his arms tightening around you as he leans down to press another kiss to your nose.

 “Breakfast time is any time. Whoever thinks otherwise should be jailed.” 

 Chan ignores you, busy pressing a few more pecks to your cheeks, nudging your nose with his own. 

 You whine. “Come on, baby. You need to eat. I know you’re hungry too.”

 And Chan is, but he doesn’t want to leave the bed yet. He’s not pouting, he swears he isn’t, but he knows he’s making a face because you were smiling all amusedly at him again, like you were surprised he was acting this way.

 Who could blame him, really? He had a whole day off, a beautiful girl in his arms, and unlimited kisses to give and receive. Why would he leave this warm bubble without a fight?

 Chan tightens his grip and rolls again, and you were getting out of breath from laughing and trying to push him away. Your boyfriend pins you down on the bed, holding your hands above your head and intertwining your fingers together.

 “Hello,” Chan says again, grinning down at your flushed face.

 The sudden displays of strength kept catching you off guard, and your face was reddening for a multitude of reasons.

 “Hi,” you reply, albeit breathlessly, and you tilt your head up as a way of asking for a kiss. 

 Chan leans down slowly, too slowly for your liking, so you groan loudly. Chan laughs but finally presses your lips together, subconsciously loosening his grip on your hands. You free them from his grasp to cup his cheeks. 

 You can feel Chan smile against your own lips, and you only go as far as nibbling on the other’s bottom lip before you decide something and push him back.

 “Y/N,” Chan whines, chasing after you again, but you stop him with a finger to his chest and a quick peck to the lips. He stops, clearly confused.

 You push him back further, making him fall onto his side. He seems to catch on when you start straddling him, knees on other sides of his hips.

 “Oh.” Chan gapes, eyes blinking up at you stupidly. You laugh.

 “Yeah, oh.” 

 You drag the hem of his shirt up, deliberately scratching your nails against the hard muscles of his abs. Chan groans at that, hips bucking up involuntarily.

 As he busies himself with taking his shirt off properly, you start to press open mouthed kisses down his chest, tongue laving against the prominent lines of his stomach. You start sucking near the navel, leaving a big, deep purple hickey that contrasts heavily against his pale white skin.

 Chan hadn’t said anything since you started, but he was leaning back on his elbows, dark eyes following your every move. You felt the way his eyes followed the curve of your body as you adjusted to kneeling so you could move further down, making you shiver. It was almost like he was touching you with how intense his stare was. But his hands stayed at his sides, calm and waiting to strike.

 You knew that would change soon.

 There was already a noticeable bulge by the time you got down to his crotch, making you bite back a smile. You know Chan could feel your amusement because he uses his feet to tickle you at your side, making you laugh.

 “Get on with it, pretty.” His tone was playful, but his hooded eyes were saying otherwise.

 You listened obediently though, because at the end of the day, all you really wanted was to be good for Chan. All you wanted was to pleasure him, to make him feel good, to let him know that you wanted him to be happy. 

 And if a mindblowing orgasm from a morning wood blowjob was the way to success… well.

 You don’t waste any time in taking off his boxers, desperate to see the cock you loved. It wasn’t a secret that you were a bit of a cockslut, but it was technically Chan’s fault. When he slid his cock in you the first time and made you cum so hard you almost passed out, you were ruined for anybody else ever.

 You loved him inside you, loved him pounding so deep into you you felt the head of his cock in your cervix, and also loved him when he took it slow and let you feel every inch— every vein that lined along his fat cock. You loved when you were at his mercy.

 But you also loved when you had that same cock in your mouth, filling you all the way to your throat. You were guessing you had a bit of an oral fixation, since sometimes you craved the weight of it at random times of the day. You just wanted his cock in your mouth, and you knew Chan was more than happy to oblige.

 Chan’s sizeable cock slapped up against his stomach when you finally took away its confines, precum smearing against his skin. Chan’s fingers tighten against the sheets when you lean forward and kitten-licked that same precum off, his cock bumping against your cheek.

 “Baby,” he exhaled, brows furrowing. “Are you playing games right now?”

 “No,” you answer, but as soon as the word left your mouth, you flattened your tongue and licked a thick stripe up at the side of his cock, making Chan groan and throw his head back.

 You swirl your tongue around the angry purple tip of his cock, letting his precum coat your tongue. But you don’t swallow it, not yet. You let the liquids fall back onto his cock, using it as lubricant for your hand that comes up to stroke him. 

 Chan grunted, bucking up into the tight space of your hand as his head lolled forward. He watches you with lidded eyes, and you tilt your head so he could feel the hot exhale of your breath on his cock. Predictably, you felt it twitch.

 A hand comes to cup the back of your head, and you look up through your lashes to see Chan licking his lips and swallowing. 

 “Come on,” he urges, hand sliding down to tilt your head up. He slides his thumb into your mouth and your lips close around it immediately, sucking. Chan shudders. “Be good for me.”

 And you obey.

 As soon as Chan’s thumb slipped out of your mouth, you replaced it with his cock, tongue flattening as you took half of him in your mouth. Your lips stretched obscenely, Chan’s girth and length stretching your mouth to its limits. 

 But instead of deterring you, it only made you moan. You already felt so full even if you hadn’t taken his entire cock in your mouth yet, almost gagging when you felt the tip nudge the back of your throat. Your eyes flick up, watching as Chan’s jaw tightened, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

 You bob your head up and down slowly, understanding that Chan was letting you take the lead. His hand stayed cupped at the back off your head, a reassuring constant as you did your best to breathe through your nose. 

 The slick sounds your mouth was making echoed along with Chan’s muttered curses in your quiet room, the only other sound being the traffic outside.

 “Shit. Shit,” Chan exhaled, chest heaving. He was always much more sensitive in the morning. “Your mouth, baby. That fucking mouth.”

 And much more noisier.

 “So good for me.” Chan whispers, voice rough and heated. He brushes the back of his hand against your hollowed cheeks, then cards his fingers through your hair so he could see your face properly. “Look at you, my cock in your mouth first thing in the morning. What a sight.”

 You moan at his words, and the vibrations that come from your throat make him twitch in your mouth. Chan refrains from bucking his hips, but he slips up sometimes when gets too lost in the pleasure. There’s an apology on his lips every time, but you shut him up quickly with a harsh suck to his throbbing cock.

 You know he’s close when the twitching gets more frequent and his thighs start tensing around your head, his hand going from tugging on your hair instead of just resting there. Chan gets quieter as well, his nasty praises trailing off to grunts and broken moans.

 Your jaw was aching, but the quiet gasps of your name spurs you on more than you’d like to admit. Because as much as you loved to be under Chan’s mercy, something about him losing his mind over your mouth and saying your name like it was his last prayer did things to you. The slick heat between your legs reminded you of it.

 His pleasure was your pleasure.

 You’re forcibly pulled off when Chan tugs your head back, and you’re just about to complain when Chan suddenly sits up and grabs his cock with his free hand, keeping the tip of it in your mouth. 

 “Look at me.” He hisses, and you obey immediately. 

 You look up at him through your lashes, suckling at the head of his cock as much as he let you. He jerks himself off quickly, using your spit as lube and groaning at the lewd sight of your lips wrapped around him and the feeling of your tongue insistently brushing against the underside of his cock.

 “I’m gonna cum, baby, shit-“ he grunts through gritted teeth, and you squirm as you watch his abs and arms flex with each movement. 

 Chan had his head thrown back now, sweat dripping down his throat and his pale skin reddening as he got closer and closer to his release. 

 “I’m gonna cum in this pretty mouth. This perfect mouth, only mine to use, hm? Just mine and mine alone, fuck- god, fuck!“

 You tug Chan’s hand away and swallow his cock down your mouth again as soon as the first spurt of his cum hits your tongue, making him flinch. 

He’s clearly torn between tugging your head away due to  the oversensitivity, or pushing his cock farther down your mouth. His hand flexes in your hair, unsure of what to do. 

 You decide for him.

 Your throat works against him, struggling to swallow his cum and keep his cock in your mouth at the same time. You were determined to milk his whole orgasm out of him, and you weren’t going to stop until he was dry and shaking. The moans Chan lets out this time are almost close to whimpers as he falls back against the mattress, hips bucking uselessly. 

 “Y/N,” he whines, gasping for breath, and you rub your hands up and down his hips to ground him. You clean him up slowly, aware that the oversensitivity must be bordering on pain now.

 Chan groans, arms coming up to hide his reddened face.  “Baby, enough, please. Come here, come up, I want a kiss. Please.”

 You bite back a smile as you pull off his cock, sucking one last hickey to his navel and reveling in his stuttered moan. You crawl up the bed slowly, kissing the exposed part of Chan’s chin; the only area that wasn’t covered by his arms.

 “Good?” You ask, sitting on his stomach now.

 “Good?” He squawks, disbelief written all over his face when he pulls his arms away. His face was still red, as well as the upper parts of his chest. “Good?! You- god, I can’t believe you. Come here, you little minx.”

 He growls, pulling you into a bruising kiss. Your hands come up to cup his cheeks again, moaning as he bit on your lips and sucked on your tongue like a starving man. Chan’s hands grope your breasts through your shirt, thumbing your slowly hardening nipples and making you squirm. 

 When he pulls away from the kiss and trails his lips down your neck, his hands move lower as well. He hooked his thumbs in your shorts, one second from pulling them down and having his way with you. But-

 Speaking of starving.

 “Channie,” you whine, stopping his hands. He freezes immediately, pulling back to look at you. Concern was written all over his face, and you would have cooed if you didn’t have more pressing matters at hand. 

 You frowned. “I’m really hungry.”

 Chan gapes at you, stunned. He blinks rapidly, eyes going from your frowning face to his hands by your shorts. “I- are you- do you not want me to return the favor? You just gave me the best orgasm of my life.”

 You snort, knowing he was exaggerating, but Chan looked dead serious. You roll your eyes then, locking your lips in a heated kiss again for a few seconds to satiate your needy boyfriend. You keep your forehead pressed together when you pull back slightly to look in his dazed eyes, still filled with want. 

 You drag the tip of your index finger across his lip, smirking. “I’ll make you a deal. If you put some food in my stomach, I promise I’ll let you fuck me six ways to sunday.” You grind down, making him hiss. “It’s been too long since you made me cry, no?”

 Chan’s eyes darkened. You licked your lips.

 But then, the next thing you know, the world was upside down, and you were being carried outside your bedroom over your boyfriend’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

 “Bang Chan!” You squeak, heart pounding wildly in your chest. “Put me down, you crazy idiot! What the hell are you doing!”

 “Putting some food in your stomach.” Chan replied simply, like that was the answer to all your questions. “No take backs.”

 You pause for a second, then find yourself laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Chan was still naked. You smack his ass repeatedly, making him yelp on the way to the kitchen. 

 “You’re insane.” You laugh as he finally sets you down on the kitchen counter, wrapping your arms around his neck when he squeezes himself in between your thighs.

 “You love me.” He giggles, looking too smug for your own liking. But then his face softens, and you blink in surprise when he presses a soft kiss to your lips,

 then your nose,

 then your forehead,

 then your lips again.

 “And I love you . More than anything.”

 It’s the softest kiss you’ve shared since you woke up, and that was saying something. You look up at Chan, dazed at the sudden switch of mood. He was looking at you tenderly, eyes twinkling as he smiled, dimples popping out.

 Your heart pounded in your chest again, beating so hard you felt like it was going to come out of you. You love him. You were so in love with Bang Chan that it hurt, and you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life in his arms, just like this. Always.

 “Now,” Chan grinned wide, stepping back as he clapped his hands twice. He was looking very determined, arms crossed and bulging over his chest as he looked around the kitchen. 

 Your eyes meet, and your breath catches in your throat when he smirks.

 “Time to fulfill my part of the deal so we can get on with yours.”

[flightless-rising]

Made a new Flight Rising iceberg and also wrote an explanation.. man, this took way longer than it should have.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy :D

Iceberg explanation

( If there are any mistakes please let me know and I’ll edit this asap. Also, English isn't my first language so please forgive me for any grammatical errors)

EDIT 28/06: Added some new info! Thanks to everyone who tagged and responded with new stuff to add, I really appreciate it!

The Sky

Naomi

Back in the day, whenever you bought or sold something on the auction house a message would show up in your inbox confirming the transaction. These messages were sent by one of the dragon couriers: Pearl, Spitfire or Edgar.

On January 2016, a strange glitch occurred that replaced the images and names of couriers with the ones of a female fae named “Naomi”.

It goes deeper than that, though: if you looked up her name in the user search menu, a clan would pop up with over 15 million dragons.

It was quickly discovered that all exalted dragons had somehow become part of her clan. Naomi herself apparently didn’t exist, and clicking on her page redirected to an error page. This was later fixed and the original Naomi page can be now visited.

What exactly caused this glitch is still a mystery and today Naomi is still a well-known piece of Flight Rising history.

Missing Tidelord

In the official lore, the deity of the water flight disappeared in early 2018, as described in the short story “Hear Today, Gone Tomorrow”.

In the follow up story (Mixed Elements) posted in April of the next year it is confirmed that the Tidelord is still missing, but alive. This coincides with the fact that the Tidelord account hasn’t made any forum posts aside from festival announcements.

Emperors

Emperors are a type of unobtainable dragon that are formed when several Imperial corpses are left in close proximity to each other, which then fuse forming a multi-headed chimera.

Emperors are described in the lore as having an animal-like behavior and destroying everything in sight. They are extremely difficult to kill, which is the reason why in-universe Imperials have such strange burial rites.

An emperor named Luminax is first described in the Raising a Family short story, and their sprite can be seen walking around on the world map.

The Surface

Old color wheel

Originally, there were only 67 available colors for dragons. On June 8th 2016, 110 more colors were added, meaning that currently there are a total of 177 colors available.

When making a custom progenitor dragon, it is only possible to choose among the 67 original colors because it would be otherwise unfair for those who made their account before the new colors were added.

Imperial breed scrolls

Imperial breed change scrolls are one of, if not the most, rare type of item on the site. They were given only to those who pledged 30 dollars or more on the original Flight Rising kickstarter.

At the time, this was the only way of obtaining an Imperial dragon, which meant that the breed as a whole was pretty valuable. Now that Imperials are abundant this is no longer the case, but First generation Imperials are still extremely sought and probably the most expensive type of dragon on the site.

There were also other items that were only given to Kickstarted backers, namely Skycats, Bonefiend, Golden Idol and Cogfrog familiars, and those are also pretty much impossible to obtain.

Baldwin breed change

When Baldwin was introduced in 2015 he was originally a Pearlcatcher. On September 14th of 2016 however his site art started to gradually change, until his transformation was completed five days later.

In-universe, Baldwin started to change after a lightning strike hit his cauldron during an experiment, which made him slowly mutate into the breed we now know as Bogsneaks.

Trans Fiona

When Fiona was added as a trading post dragon people speculated that she was trans, because the female pose for Skydancers only displays two antennae, while the male one has four.

Since Fiona has four antennae in her site art, many wondered whether it was an oversight or actually intended. Aequorin later confirmed in a forum thread that Fiona is indeed trans.

Boolean

Speaking of rare items, the Boolean familiar was only given to a handful of Flight rising beta testers and as such is extremely rare and valuable.

Plaguebringer coli team

On the Plaguebringer’s page she is listed as being part of a coliseum team.

As of now we have no clue as to why this is, and even more strangely she is the only deity that does this.

Boston & Hope

This story is a bit complicated. I’ve scoured the forums in search of info but it seems like there are still some pieces missing. I’ll try my best to explain anyway.

So, for a long while the Lightweaver was the only deity that had other dragons aside from herself in her lair: these dragons were a Spiral named Boston and a Tundra named Hope. Strangely, they were both Earth dragons and apparently have been there since the beginning (?). When asked why (this happened back when deities would interact on the forums) the Lightweaver responded that they were having a dinner party together.

In August 2014 during a pretty heated dominance battle between Shadow and Light Boston and Hope disappeared from the Lightweaver’s lair.

The Shadowbinder now had them, and both their elements were alsochanged to Shadow. The two deities acknowledged this and changed their broadcast messages accordingly.

If I had to guess this was some kind of inside joke that the admins had, although some people got angry that the Shadowbinder now had both Hope and Boston. Some time later(?) Boston was returned to the Lightweaver and for some reason his element was changed to wind.

I don’t have any more info on the matter but if some of you do I would appreciate it if you tell me.

Shallow Waters

Eyepocalypse

On June 8th 2018 eye type variants were introduced. This update was pretty controversial for a bunch of reasons, and the topic is still discussed today. The majority of people(?) seemed to be upset by the fact the “best” eye types (primarily goat, primal and multi-gaze) could only be displayed on dragons that were born with them, and the fact that every dragon born prior to the update couldn’t have these eye types at all displeased a lot of users.

Another problem was the fact that most of the non-special eye types (i.e the only ones that could be applied to already existing dragons using a vial of Scattersight) were not clearly visible on the grand majority of adult dragons.

A smaller(?) complaint was that two of the primal eye types, Shadow and Plague, were seen as kind of disturbing by some people.

Three years later staff attempted to fix this issue by adding Eye type vials for every available eye type. This resulted in a market crash for special eye typed dragons, as now these eye types could be applied to any dragon. The value of Scattersights also tanked, and the people bought them and hadn’t used them yet lost money as now they were infinitely less useful.

EDIT 28/06: Goat isn’t actually obtainable via breeding, faceted is. Bad mistake on my part.

Also, Scattersights were given away freely by Galore on Flight Rising’s fifth anniversary in 2018 and could not be bought afterwards. I admit that I thought people could be able to buy Scattersights due to how upset people were that the value went down, but whatever.

Courier Breed

The courier dragons (Edgar, Spitfire, and Pearl) are part of an exclusive dragon breed that is currently unobtainable. Even though their eye color still reflects the flight they were born in, in-universe they are considered to be “neutral” and they are granted free access to all domains. This raises the question as to which deity created them, as every other dragon breed (Bogsneaks being the only exception) has been created by one of The Eleven.

Multiaccounting

According to the site’s terms of service, no one is allowed to have more than one account. This is pretty standard for pet sites, as having multiple accounts grants unfair advantages and can mess up the site economy. This doesn’t completely stop people for having more than one account, and the practice as a whole is called “Multiaccounting” or “having multis”.

Some people only do this to have multiple clans or reboot their account without deleting their old one. They mostly do no harm but it is reasonable that the site wouldn’t allow this because of how easy it is exploit.

The real harm of multis comes from a practice called “funneling” which is when someone creates multiple accounts only for the purpose of giving items to their main account. This practice violates the game’s rules and can result in a ban. Funneling is not limited to multiaccounting though, and having an account only to feed another is against the site’s rules whether or not the account in question belongs to another person or not.

Some people fear of being banned for multiaccounting even if they haven’t done so, especially if they share a computer with other people.

Purble

“he purble” is probably among the most famous Flight Rising memes.

In 2016(?) a rant was submitted to the original Dramarising blog by a very angry user that wanted to buy an XXX Purple Ridgeback back when triples were pretty expensive, but got beat by someone else.

I’m not going to copy paste it here because in my opinion it’s one of the funniest Flight Rising related posts ever and I don’t want to spoil the experience of reading it for the first time. You can find it pretty easily by searching it up.

Tert Picking

This is something that refaced recently, even though I’ve seen people talking about this for a while. Some people vividly remember being able to pick their custom progenitor’s tertiary color, even though the developers have made it clear that such thing would be impossible. This is without a doubt just one of those weird situations where a lot of people somehow remember the same thing wrong.

Still, it’s fascinating just how many people claim to remember doing picking their tert.

Swiftwings

Swiftwings were a dragon breed that was scrapped in development. The design was rejected because it didn’t fit the 2 arms 2 legs 2 wings format that every dragon design had to follow before the introduction of ancient breeds.

The reason for this rule is that otherwise it would mess up apparel placement. Although the concept was scrapped, echoes of the design were scattered throughout the site: for example, the empty dragon slots that were present prior to 2019 had the silhouette of a Swiftwings dragon. They are also mentioned in the April Fool’s update of 2018.

“Real” Lore dragons

Most people don’t know that some of the dragons featured on the lore stories are actually real, and you can visit their pages. This is the case for Tetra, Cracklinne, Velya, Liefa, Garote and Mirth, which are currently chilling in Aequorin’s lair.

All of the other dragons in the developers’ lairs are not canon and are used to test bugs and features on the site.

The Middle ground

True deity names

When the site first started the deities used to have actual names instead of titles. Some of these names were based off of the site founders’s usernames on other sites.

The names are the following:

Amogayvhi - Gladekeeper Xhaztol - Arcanist Rhenik - Tidelord Akiri - Flamecaller Thrage - Stormcatcher Undel - Shadowbinder Jhortanas - Plaguebringer Ghurab - Windsinger Artaios - Earthshaker Rhiow – Lightweaver

As you can tell, Xhaztol, Akiri, Thrage and Undel are the usernames of some of the admins of the site, and the flight they are a part of corresponds with the previous name of their deity.

No leg coatls

On January 16, 2015 an iconic thread was posted in the flight rising discussion forum, which displayed a photoshopped image of a coatl with its legs removed. Quickly the thread devolved into a general photoshop thread were people took official site art of dragons and modified it.

The thread was eventually locked due to spam and quote pyramids, but spiritual successors of the original “phoatlshop” thread still exist today.

Dress slot unlocking

A thing that a surprising amount of people don’t know is the fact that when buy an additional apparel slot, the slot opens for every dragon in your lair and not just the one you bought it on.

This is something I also discovered very recently and it’s kind of funny that so many people that have been on the site for very long don’t know this.

Clanbound scatterscrolls

I think the wiki explains it best, so I’ll just copy paste this here:

“Tri-Color Scatterscrolls suffered from an issue where they would only scatter a random range from colors 1-47 (white through sunshine) rather than 1-67 (white through rose). They have been fixed and are now functioning correctly with a random range within the 67 color set. The affected timeframe was from August 15th, 2013 until September 22nd, 2013. The admins allowed users who were unsatisfied with their bugged Tri-Color Scatterscrolls to receive the same amount of them back in the form of Clanbound Scatterscrolls to try scattering their own dragons again with the full color range.”

Beta Mirrors

Ever wondered why they’re called Mirrors?

According to Undel, the main artist of Flight Rising, mirrors originally were supposed to have every part of their body “mirrored”, meaning they had two sets of eyes, two pairs of wings, two tails, and so on.

This design ended up being too cluttered and looked weird shrunken down. The name was kept the same, even though the only mirrored part of the design are the eyes.

Dragons are evil

If you read the “Beastclans on the rise” lore bit, the dragons come across as… very evil, stealing territory from the beastclans when they have been living on Sornieth way longer than the dragons have and killing them for loot.

Furthermore, in the Bounty of the Elements lore bit the Beastclan rebellion guided by Talona is seen by the dragons as unreasonable and wrong even when in canon Beastclans are framed as the innocent party.

The Depths

Scroll of Divorce

In the alpha stage dragons were supposed to be monogamous and could only breed with the dragon they were “paired” with. To break their bond you had to use an item called “Scroll of Divorce” which even featured broken marriage rings in the art.

If I had to guess, this item and the concept as a whole were scrapped because the idea of dragons having “weddings” and needing to divorce before breeding with another dragon felt kind of weird, especially in a game targeted towards teens.

First Festival

The first Holiday festival in Flight rising history was the 2013 Brightshine Jubilee. The items that were available for this festival only are incredibly rare, particularily the Light Sprite which is one of the most valuable items on the site. Apart from that and the fact that the skincent contest only had 6 winners, not much is notable about it.

Offsite drama

Flight Rising has had its fair share of drama both on and off site, but due to the fact that it’s against the site’s rule to discuss user drama on the forums most of the notable drama happened off site (mainly tumblr).

Egg rot

Egg rot was a very early mechanic that was pretty quickly removed from the site. If you forgot to incubate your eggs, they would “rot” and no longer hatch.

It’s the reason why in the nesting grounds the text reads “Eggs healthy” and also the reason why on the stats section of the Account settings it says “Eggs discarded”. The mechanic was removed because it heavily punished casual players and the frequent downtimes of the site meant that even if someone logged in every day they could still have their eggs die.

Also, the images of egg rot look extremely cursed.

Pablo

From what I could gather, Pablo is a dragon which became somewhat popular after user “Desmondtiny” wrote a very long and detailed backstory of them being the Arcanist’s lost boyfriend.

I’m pretty sure it gues deeper than that but I couldn’t find any further information. As usual, if you know something more let me know.

Latest News

On November 12, 2014, a glitch(?) occurred that let anyone post in the Announcements thread. Anything that was posted went directly to the front page, which resulted in quite a bit of chaos.

This was fixed only half an hour later, but the screenshots people have from that time are extremely funny.

Lameforger

On the 2014 Flameforger’s festival announcement Undel accidentally misspelled “Flameforger” as “Lameforger”, which prompted the official account of the Flamecaller to respond aggressively. Lameforger is still jokingly used by users, even after the typo was fixed.

Festival of one (1)

On the first day of the 2014 Greenskeeper Gathering a glitch occurred which switched the site banner for the Starfall celebration banner instead of the Greenskeeper one.

It didn’t end there, in the coliseum Magical shards dropped instead of Bladed Flatleaves, even though skin chests dropped as normal(?).

The weirdest thing about it all was Joxar’s Space inventory, which didn’t display any items at all and had glitched dialogue.

The event was nicknamed by the fanbase “Festival of 1” and even the deity’s official accounts acknowledged the incident.

Vape Juice

As far as I know the original forum thread as been lost, but the vape juice fiasco will always remain cemented in Flight Rising History.

A company called Vape Daugz was making vape juice with Flight Rising dragons plastered on their packaging, completely violating the site’s policy.

The company’s site still exists, and browsing through their products I found that the products that previously had Flight Rising dragons on them still exist, but now feature completely different packaging.

I have no idea whether they changed the packaging spontaneously or staff did something about it.

I think there’s a potentially interesting story buried down there, but we’ll likely never the truth behind the Flight Rising vape juice.

The Abyss

Humans

There’s been some speculation over the years as to whether or not humans are canon in the Flight Rising universe. Some people believe that the “Mages” of the second age in the official lore are actually humans, but we can’t be sure because they are depicted with long robes that cover their whole bodies.

The idea of humans existing in canon has spawned a couple of memes, most infamously Thomas.

Plague healers

Again, I think the wiki explains this one better:

“According to Aequorin, Plague healers are an interesting bunch because rather than administer treatments that counter illness, they use a mixture of magic and contagion that stress the affected dragon further, allowing them to reach a stronger, healed, and resistant state faster than other elements. Plague healers will treat physical injuries with sutures, bandages, and braces, but they won't clean the wounds or apply ointments."

Akitla

As described in the original thread, Akitla was a dragon that user “qunii” saw on the front page, but noticed that she wasn’t accompanied by the username of the person owning them.

After clicking on her, an error page loaded. It was discovered that putting her color combination or ID in the search bar would result in an error page. This was later fixed, and both Akitla and her mate were now displayed as being exalted to the Arcanist. T

here are some theories as to what happened to the Akitla’s user, some think that she belonged to a deleted account, others that it was the result of an incomplete account creation.

As with a lot of things on this iceberg, it will likely remain a mystery forever.

Arcane sprite book

“what is the arcane sprite reading??” is probably one of the oldest still active threads on the forums.

On September 25, 2013 user “Kaadashi” started a joke thread were they wondered what exactly is the arcane sprite reading, and playfully suggested that it could be erotic fanfiction. People went crazy of course, and started to wonder what kind of juicy secrets were hidden within the pages of that book.

I don’t want to say too much because I really don’t want to spoil the experience of reading through this very cursed tread.

Sunshine

Sunshine is one of the most… interesting lairs on the site, and certainly one of the most well-known.

They(?) have a lair (almost) completely full of triple basic sunshine dragons, most of which are Tundras. So far they have collected about 320 triple hundred Sunshine dragons, almost all of which are also named “Sunshine”. They’re not all the same, some of them have apparel, some of them are gened and some have unique art and descriptions.

They’re dedicated and I respect that.

EDIT 28/06: Apparently some people seem to think that the sunshine-dedicated lair is based on a meme concerning the announcement of the color wheel expansion, which became so discussed that the itself site broke. The two things are unrelated however, as the Sunshine lair has been around for much longer.

The announcement of the color wheel expansion was cryptic, with only a few post showing off differently colored coatls and then 3 pages of reserved posts, with no explanation whatsoever.

Simple Farmer

Another very famous thread is the “I am but a simple farmer” thread started by user “someKindOfGenius”. It’s not really about anything specific, it’s just a rather silly thread were people photoshop flight rising dragons onto various crops.

Still, this thread is iconic so I had to include it.

Dragon Deaths

Way back in 2014 former flight rising programmer Thrage revealed on a forum thread that way back before the beta, dragons could actually starve to death if left unfed.

Yep.

Obviously they had to remove this mechanic because it would have been extremely harsh to casual players and make people frustrated with the game.

Zalvador

User “manojalpa” became fairly well-known for the extremely dark lore they(?) had written for their Clan, it was so dark in fact that every single one of their dragon’s bios had to moved to their tumblr where they couldn’t be easily seen by the site’s mainly underage usebase.

Their lore centered around their progen dragon, a tundra named Zalvador, which behaved and had the same powers as a flight rising user: buying dragons off of the action house, having “breeding projects”, exalting dragons, etc.

These things seem pretty normal when done by a player, but when taking them as actual real things that happen in universe… yeah, it was way too morbid for the site.

The Pit

Black linen neck wraps

For some weird reason, the apparel piece “Black linen neck wrap” when put on a male pose Coatl wraps around the dragon’s throat instead of it’s neck. It’s kind of subtle and hard to see, but if you compare it with the female pose the difference is clear. This is probably just an art error, although it’s weird that it hasn’t been fixed yet, since linen wraps are a very old piece of apparel.

Another weird thing about linen wraps in general is that the wing wraps just sort of… go through the membrane? This is not possible. These dragons are in pain.

Icewarden ears

Another very remarkably popular thread is the Icewarden ears thread.

In 2014 user “Llanai” simply makes note of the fact that the Icewarden has teeny tiny ears.

As we have come to expect from these threads, it quickly devolved into nonsense.

Forbidden Snapper lore

Snappers used to have a way different lore section that was changed because it deemed too similar to the lore of another petsite.

This is what the original section read:

"Snapper dragons do not sleep, but exist in a constant state of reverie. They receive and catalogue all experiences and stories told within their dreams. This persistent state of awakened dreaming awards them the longest memory of any dragon species. They are living encyclopedias, and any dragon who is seeking difficult-to-obtain information will have the most luck unearthing it from a Snapper clan - provided they have the patience for it. If you want two dozen quick answers, talk to a spiral. If you want a fully developed answer, camp out around a Snapper. These dreamers move at their own pace, which varies from dragon to dragon. For some, the awakened dream can prove to be more interesting than their surroundings. This leads to a focus upon the dream, and the waking world as filtered background noise. Interacting with these sleepwalkers can be a trying and repetitive task. Other Snappers may be fairly lucid, with a focus upon their surroundings and the constant hum of the dream pushed aside."

Bee movie script

I’ve seen this story around the forums a few times but I’ve never been able to learn the details.

From what I’ve heard someone copy pasted the entire bee movie script into their clan bio in a drop down text format, which completely broke the page for anyone who visited it. This was fixed, apparently, although I have no clue as to who this user is.

EDIT 28/06: Zeus

Zeus is an XXX gold g1 permababy imperial that used to belong to user "happywing".

Their account is now locked because Zeus was created with the use of a duplication glitch on an imperial breed change scroll, which is obviously not allowed (although I've heard some people say that the dragon was hacked in altogether). Before the account was locked, people speculated that Zeus was the most valuable dragon on the site, because an XXX g1 imperial is impossibly rare.

Wegg shaming

On July 2017 user “Dreamnorn” made a thread were they(?) claimed to have a dream where everything was the same except people used the term “wegged” when two dragons would lay only one egg in a nest.

Ex. Aw man! I’ve been wegged again! = Aw man! I bred two dragons and they only had one egg!

The dream ended up being prophetic, as the term catched on and people started to use it unironically.

The practice of “Wegg shaming” I think refers to the trend of people posting pictures of the dragons that “wegged” them in order to “shame” them.

Plague nest skull

The site art of the plague nest features an unique dragon skull that doesn’t match with any currently existing dragon breed or creature: It appears to have two sets of eyes, like a mirror, but also long and curled horns.

It’s probably just for decoration and it likely doesn’t have any significance whatsoever, but personally I believe it would be pretty cool if when they eventually release plague ancient it at least somewhat resembled this skull.

EDIT 28/06: On second thought, the skull doesn’t seem to have two pairs of eyes, It just has the generic shape of a carnivore.

Rock bottom

CAPTAINPLANET

…this is CAPTAINPLANET. Somehow, user “Decres”' managed to overlay a Fae skin on top of a Tundra, creating this horrifyingly fascinating abomination.

I have no idea how she did this, and she seems pretty adamant to tell.

EDIT 28/06: People have pointed out that this skin overlay glitch was actually somewhat common (although I still haven't found another dragon like CAPTAINPLANET). What you had to do was breed change a dragon while attaching a skin to them in another tab.

This glitch has been patched and such thing is no longer possible.

Lair 46264

A cursed lair.

Dreams

I’ve seen a lot of people, both on forums and on Tumblr, sharing dreams they had about Flight Rising.

A lot of people dream of just being on the site, while occasionally weird things happen.

I’ve read of people who dreamed the distribution of a new breed, buying an exclusive item, a new Fiona feat or Swipp trade, or just browsing the forums.

The most common type of Flight rising-associated dream I’ve seen however is being caught multiaccounting and having their account banned.

I’m no psychoanalyst, but I think it’s pretty clear that these nightmares stem from the paranoia of being banned from their beloved petsite instead of showing any actual intention of doing the “crime” in question.

Anyways, I think it’s fascinating how so many people dream about this site, and it reminds me of the dreams people claimed to have about Mario 64 where completely new levels were added or a scary monster appeared.

Dragon Slime

Dragon Slime was an infamous thread which was supposed to be start off point for an ARG.

It was deleted because it was considered too “spammy” and also because ARGs are banned from the forums. The thread has been lost, unfortunately.

EDIT 28/06: Thanks to @randompurple-fr for providing screenshots of the dragon slime tutorial! You can find them here

Cucumber

Cucumber is the only dragon ever to have been exalted with a skin, which is something that should not be possible. This raises some questions as to what exactly did the person that exalted them do to achieve this, but we have no way of knowing who Cucumber belonged to.

EDIT 28/06: Actually, we do know who used to Cucumber belonged to! Its owner was Osiem: an official flight rising artist. I couldn’t find the thread where they(?) acknowledged the glitch though, if someone has it please let me know!

[yandere-sins]

Rereading your Miya twins oneshots and I am wondering if reader would have a breakdown and cry and maybe harm herself how would they react? Maybe they will stop their punishments for a while but what if they have broken her already? I wonder if that is what they thrive on 🤔 on her feeble attempts to escape, her hope and the fact that she is still fighting.

May I ask: what made you go to this yandere route? What caught your attention and how did you know you like to write this genre?

[Here’s a scenario that only features Atsumu, TW for self-harm but maybe you’d be interested in reading it!]

To answer your question: I’m just one of those true crime story nerds, and I love psychological horror. Finding yandere was like opening a previously unknown treasure since I love the horror aspects of it, but as any other person here, I can also find comfort in the fact someone would go to extremes out of adoration and love. I just think it’s interesting to explore the many branches and possibilities (: Of course, I also got very inspired by a lot of yandere writers here, which made me test around with yandere on my ‘normal’ blogs before, but for me, trying a new genre is just a challenge. So I ended up devoting myself to this blog so that people who don’t want to see me write this stuff won’t be bothered. I don’t think you can know if you like doing something unless you try it out, and with all the support and lovely people here, it really grew on me ^^

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

There was something magical about the way you broke.

Terrifying but magical nonetheless.

Your tears had slowly dried out, even though the occasional sob would still escape you. Atsumu kept talking and talking, complaining about his day and joking around, and occasionally, you’d laugh. You sounded so strained, apathetic as you raised your voice to accommodate Atsumu’s bad jokes. There was no voice, no emotion, anything behind your laugh. And yet, you kept chuckling, then sobbed in between, sometimes you sighed, your body relaxing completely.

God, this was everything Osamu always wanted.

He occupied the other side of your body, playing with the hem of your sleeve. Head propped on his arm, he watched you stare at the ceiling, wondering what you were finding in the grey mortar. It would have only been better if you looked at him instead, but Osamu wasn’t that greedy. He had waited for you to come around to the idea of being with the twins for so long, he could wait for weeks more if needed.

Truthfully, he felt helpless, having to watch your breakdown. You had them before, screaming and throwing things. Good thing that this building was almost empty and the ‘neighbors’ too shady to care about your exhausting tantrums. Both Atsumu and Osamu knew it would take time, maybe forever, for you to accept this. Accept them. It hurt having to watch you for what felt like an eternity, denying and pushing them away. Given they weren’t always the best caretakers, but they did put in a lot of effort to make all of this possible. And whenever it got worse, Osamu would remind himself it was just a temporary thing.

Until you’d finally accept this life with them.

This time, the tantrum was different. You still screamed. You still threw things around in blind rage. There were tears and spit and snot, and when you were done being angry, you wept, curling up like a child. It hurt seeing you tear out your hair, bite your nails, and scratch your body because of the anxiety and stress. But kicking and more screaming were what followed whenever the brothers pulled you apart to stop yourself from harming you more than you already had. One took your arms, the other the legs, but it hurt almost too much to see you in such a confused, crazed state of mind.

They knew they did this to you. It was all their fault. Maybe that’s why it hurt more.

But suddenly, and very differently than the other times, you simply stopped. From one second to the other, there was no more screaming, no more fighting, and no complaints about how they treated you. No crying and no hyperventilation, and they set you down very carefully, just in case you were trying something. You tried to trick them before, something that didn’t go unpunished, but this time, there was no such thing. You laid there, staring at the ceiling while your tears dried out, and sighed.

Osamu still remembered the unsure, doubting glance Atsumu threw at him, trying to figure out what was going on. But neither could tell, so they left you. Five minutes. Ten. You were still staring at the ceiling as if in a daze when they returned to your room, having hoped some distance would help you recover.

Atsumu was much more direct in his approach, simply laying down next to you. No one said anything until he told you about his day, claiming it was ‘his time to vent’ now. That idiot. Osamu was cautious, not trusting your silence, the catatonic state you were in. You tricked him too many times, using him, exploited his vulnerability to stab him in the back—at times, literally. It was hard to trust you, despite him not wanting anything more than to be able to lay next to you as well.

However, as Atsumu continued, you did something neither of them heard from you in months. Laugh. Simply, easily, unbothered. And immediately, you had both of them wrapped around your pinky again as Osamu sunk down next to you, anticipating for you to do it again. Atsumu grew bolder now, touching you, playing with your hand, and brushing over your arm. They knew you as cold, flinching away from every touch, but even when Atsumu kissed your shoulder, you merely stared at the ceiling.

You heard them, Osamu was sure. You even listened, but despite everything, he realized quickly you weren’t feeling anything. A machine would have shown more emotions than you, but he only then grasped on to it. For you, it was already too late. Something inside of you snapped. Quite literally. You were a burned fuse, nothing more than an empty shell. And yet, this situation was so much nicer than the last year spent making you accept it.

Driving his fingers down your arm, he brought them to your hand, linking your fingers with his and holding it. You didn’t do anything, not squeeze it, not shake him off, but you were warm and soft under his palm, and he could barely contain his joy. His chest filled with love and affection, but also pride in holding your hand. To be the one that is able to hold you without suffering repercussions was pure bliss.

Nothing that happened before this came close to this illusion of acceptance, even if it meant you lost your autonomy due to psychological breaking from your circumstances. And yet, the brothers were both still too mesmerized to see what they had done. Who they had broken.

Being twins, they always fought about things, be it pudding or toys or affection. They only came together for you. Yet, you were the one thing that should have been kept intact. You should have never needed to give in, never been so scared, angry, confused that your brain could no longer take it anymore. Not when they actually loved you just as you were.

But no longer would you be the person they fell in love with.

Even if they had your laughs now, your silent compliance, and the freedom to be with you, was it worth the price of losing you?

Osamu didn’t know it yet as he brought your hand to his face, kissing it before growing bold, nuzzling his face in your shoulder. With a big smile on his face, feeling happier than ever, he completely missed the point. Because what good was finally having you the way that the twins wanted, when there was nothing of you left?

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

I wanted to write a scenario for this, but also, here are some of my thoughts on the Yandere!Miya Twins AU I created for them around this and your request!

> They actually imagined being with their darling very differently and know that what they are doing is wrong but are too deep in to stop now. It was also the only way for them to share the darling, so they feel like they had little choice. So when the darling does finally break, and they can have this relationship (very one-sided for either of them) without them complaining and struggling, it’s a big relief for them.

> They used to punish their darling for, e.g., throwing things around, throwing tantrums, refusing to eat/get out of bed/etc. Especially when it seemed silly or arbitrary to them. However, suppose their darling was having a real mental breakdown over the situation, caused by anxiety or other harsh emotions. In that case, the twins are much more cautious around them, retaining some sense of guilt towards their darling and letting them live it out while just checking that they don’t end up hurting themselves too much (like hitting their head on the wall, accidentally grabbing something sharp, etc.). It can also be complicated if only one brother is home to restrain them, so they are much more likely to wait it out, something they have perfected with staring at their darling from afar and staying stiff and silent until they are done.

> However, deliberate attacks against the twins, even in a meltdown situation, are always a matter to be punished—later. Doesn’t make for a good living together if one party attacks the other, eh? But if their darling hits them while they are restraining them, the brothers mostly tank that and sulk later.

> They don’t like seeing their darling have a breakdown. Still, they understand to a degree that it’s better for them to let out these emotions, even if it hurts the twins to hear what they are shouting at them or their thoughts about them. Both of them take it pretty personally and can unwillingly punish their darling by ignoring them or sulking too much to take care of them.

> Still, punishments have to be justified to a certain degree. However, the two make up a lot of rules all the time as to what is punishable and what is not. Osamu does hold back Atsumu from punishing their darling just because he’s sulking about them not wanting to be with him. Yet, Osamu sometimes doesn’t sleep for the same reason. They just handle situations differently, and if one isn’t there to stop the other, it might become dangerous for the darling, and they do tend to be impulsive at times. On the other hand, there can technically be weeks without punishments if everyone behaves.

> In the end, they do really love their chosen darling. Otherwise, they’d hardly go to such lengths for them. Realizing the darling is completely lost breaks the twins’ hearts, but they can never let go of their darling even after that. And somewhat, they got what they wanted (a perfect relationship), even though they lost what’s most important due to their cruelty. Other than other yandere, in my AU, those two are not sadistic, so they don’t drive on the fight and flight of their darling but seek to be in peace with them and live happily ever after.

[sugawaraxo]

“are you sure?”

warnings: smut

characters: koshi sugawara, keiji akaashi

request: Hiii! I just found your blog and I just want to say that I love it so much!! I thinking maybe you could write some headcanons of sugawara and akaashi w/ a shy and very inexperienced s/o (nsfw please, if you’re comfortable with writing that!!) Thank you so much! (//∇//)

a/n: i may have went a lil overboard with suga but i’m sorry, i just love him ok lmao

sugawara

- suga is your first everything

- your first boyfriend. your first kiss. your first love. and now, your first time

- it’s something you and him have been silently anticipating for awhile

- but he wanted to wait until you were fully comfortable and ready for it, and you did too

- but as you are currently straddling his lap on the couch, his lips glued to yours in a messy kiss while his hands find their way under your shirt, lightly grazing your sides

- you know you’re finally ready

“suga.” you say, pulling away from the kiss.

“hm?” he hums, his eyes meeting yours as he patiently waits for you to continue.

“i-i want you. i’m ready.” you say almost too softly for him to even process what you just said. but he does process it and his eyebrows raise in shock.

“are you sure?” he questions and you nod in response. he looks at you for a moment before giving you a quick kiss as he picks you up. your legs wrap tightly around his torso and your arms losely around his neck, then he takes you into his bedroom. 

he doesn’t want you losing your most precious gift on a dingy old couch, and would much rather do it in the comfort of his bed, hence him taking you there. he lays you gently on your back, you just looking up at him nervously. you don’t want to be nervous, but you can’t help it. you’ve heard so many varying stories of how losing your virginity could go terribly wrong, or beautifully right and you are truly hoping for the latter. suga notices your worried expression and frowns.

“are you sure you want to do this y/n? there’s no pressure, really.” he says softly.

“no i want to, trust me i do. i’m just nervous. i mean, you’ve done this before. plenty of times. what if i’m just not as good? what if i can’t satisfy you?” you admit.

“what? y/n, no. please don’t think like that. it doesn’t matter how much experience i’ve had, nor how much you’ve had. what matters is how much i care about you, which is enough to make this better than anything i’ve ever done.” suga reassures you and you smile. the boy always has such a way with his words.

“you’re right. i’m just in my head too much and i think the anticipation of waiting is making it worse so can we just...” you trail off and suga knows exactly what you were going to say.

“right, sorry.” he chuckles before leaning in to kiss you again. your back is on the bed, with suga hovering above you. he kisses you gently, making sure not to be too rough so that you feel safe, and it works. his body is placed in between your legs and you can feel yourself get hotter as you feel suga growing harder, lightly and subconsciously jutting his hips against you. 

you find yourself accidentally moaning into the kiss and you swear you feel suga smirk, which makes you slightly embarrassed. but at this point you don’t care. you want to be moaning for him. you want to be a moaning mess for him and only him. he slowly breaks the kiss away from your lips, moving it down your jaw, then to your neck. you knew your neck was sensitive but once suga’s lips were against it, you realized the severity of that sensitivity. a soft moan of suga’s name leaves your lips and his whole body goes stiff before he pulls away to look at you.

“you sound so pretty.” he says sweetly and you can’t help but shy away at his words, hiding your face with your hands.

“hey, nuh uh. let me see your face.” he chuckles and you comply with his orders. “much better.” he mumbles before reattaching his lips to your neck. he works there for awhile, sucking and nipping at the skin. surely leaving a bruise that you would have to figure out how to cover up the next day. then he pulls away and begins taking your shirt off. within seconds the thin piece of clothing is off your body and on the floor, and suga is back to sucking marks onto your skin. this time on the exposed parts of your chest, and the whimpers you’re providing him are giving him quite the satisfaction. he skillfully reaches behind your back and unclaspes your bra, then tosses the article to the side just as he did your shirt. you’re amazed at the lack of effort in this trick of his, but not given the time to bring attention to it before suga’s mouth is sucking softly on your nipple. you hum at the new sensation, and smile at how peaceful suga looks as he does his work.

“you’re so cute.” you say and suga just looks up at you and smiles, your nipple still in his mouth which makes you laugh. even while pleasuring you suga doesn’t fail to put a smile on your face and you love that. a few more seconds of nipple sucking and soft moaning goes on before suga moves on and starts kissing his way down your body.

your whole body tingles as he gets closer to the area between your legs, your eyes watching him closely. he slides down the shorts you’re wearing with ease, you helping him get them off your ankles. he then looks up at you, the expression on his face looking as though he’s asking for permission. with your permission, he takes your underwear off aswell, instantly fully erect at the sight of your bare core.

“fuck” he mumbles under his breath, wasting no time in getting a taste of you. his tongue is warm and soft against your sensitive area, and it feels good. so good. you moan out suga’s name and grip onto his hair, a little too hard at the sudden sensation. “shit, sorry.” you groan, feeling your face get hot. “don’t be, i liked it.” suga smirks and you roll your eyes, forgetting that your boyfriend has quite a kinky side that you haven’t gotten to tap into yet. but that’s quickly forgotten as he continues to lick your sweet spot. tongue fucking you for a little, then sucking on your clit. a nice little rotation that was driving you insane and just when you thought it couldn’t get better, he sticks a finger inside of you.

“holy shit.” you gasp, and again you swear you can feel suga smirking against you but you don’t care, he’s earned his right to smirk. you find yourself grinding your hips against suga’s tongue and fingers, desperate to reach your high and suga clearly notices. he helps you out by adding a second finger and focusing his mouth just on your clit, which makes the most obscene noise leave your mouth.

“hm, you’re close aren’t you?” suga asks, pulling his fingers out of you slowly. you groan at the sudden lack of contact.

“well i was.” you say shortly, somewhat annoyed that you were just robbed of your release.

“don’t be mad bunny. i just want you to cum with my dick inside of you, not my fingers.” suga grins and your stomach churns. the way he had just said something so dirty with the most wholesome smile on his face did something to you, and you’re sure that was his intention. he pulls off his pants and boxers, his hard member slapping softly against his stomach. this isn’t the first time you’ve seen it but it still takes you by surprise as you watch him put on a condom and the urge to feel it inside of you takes over.

“please suga, i need it. now.” you beg, desperate to feel something again after the tease that suga just gave you.

“hm, what a good girl. begging for me and i didn’t even ask you to.” he smiles before slowly inserting himself into you. you both moan at the wave of pleasure that rushes over you while he slides himself all the way in. suga places one hand on the headboard to steady himself and uses the other to rub your clit with his thumb. his thrusts are slow enough for you to get used to his size without hurting you, but deep enough to make you moan desperately.

“mm, suga. you feel so good.” you sigh, your eyes shut in pleasure, head thrown back against the pillow and your mouth agape letting out more moans. this image alone makes it nearly impossible for suga not to bust right then and there but he holds back, wanting to make you climax first. he continues to rub your clit while simultaneously beginning to speed up his thrusts, earning positive feedback with your noises. he does this for another minute or two while also alternating between kissing you and your neck. before you know it, you’re gripping the sheets and arching your back off the bed, the most intense wave of pleasure coming over you as you quickly reach your orgasm. you’ve made yourself orgasm plenty of times before, but never like this.

“fuck suga, oh my god.” you breathe out, attempting to regain your composure while suga is beginning to lose his.

“that was so hot, you’re so hot.” his voice shakes and you can tell he’s close by how sloppy his thrusts are getting. he gets a few more pumps in before pulling out, yanking the condom off, and cumming all over your stomach with a deep moan of your name. his fingers grip onto your waist as he releases, and you watch the pretty face he makes as he begins to come back down.

suga collapses down beside you. “sheesh, i don’t think i’ve cum that hard ever.” he chuckles, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“yeah, me either.” you giggle, your mind still hazy from your own orgasm.

“hm, i’m glad. i hope i was able to make your first time meet your expectations.” suga says sweetly.

“oh baby, you exceeded them.”

akaashi

- you and akaashi have done sexual things before

- but you just haven’t been ready to fully go all the way yet, and akaashi is completely ok with that

- he’s patient and respects that you need time despite secretly wanting to just fully let go whenever you guys do anything sexual

- but he knows you’re a virgin and is aware that you’re a bit shy in regards to that

- so he doesn’t pressure you, not in the slightest which you appreciate deeply

- but one day your mindset completely changes and you’re just about ready to risk it all

you’re watching akaashi closely on the court. he’s doing amazing in today’s game. all of his sets are landing perfectly, helping the team earn some powerful spikes and rack up points. although you swore you were paying attention to the whole team, the truth is your eyes were glued to akaashi the whole time. something was hitting different about him today. maybe the way he was glowing with sweat from going all out? the way he was exuding confidence on the court after his team kept making points? you don’t know, but what you do know is that you want him and you want him now.

but unfortunately that can’t happen, so you patiently wait for the game to finish before you meet up with your exhausted yet triumphant boyfriend.

“great job today babe.” you say embracing the boy in a big hug, wrapping your arms around his neck while he gently rests his around your waist.

“haha thank you y/n, i’m drenched in sweat though. you never hug me when i’m sweaty like this.” he says with a raised eyebrow, wondering why the sudden change.

“honestly just needed to touch you.” you admit more to yourself than you do to him.

“oh?” he says noticing the look in your eyes. he’s seen that look before. the look you give because you’re too shy to say ‘fuck me.’

“so you really enjoyed watching me out there today huh?” he smiles, now knowing exactly what you want without you having to say a word.

“mhmm.” you hum, waiting for him to take the initiative as he usually does.

“i’ll take care of you when we get home.” he whispers into your ear and a shiver runs down your spine, you couldn’t wait.

the ride home seems antagonizingly long, but finally you arrive to yours and akaashi’s shared apartment. as soon as you’re within the doors of your home, the two of you are all over each other. lips attaching messily, tongue involved in no time. hands. hands everywhere. both of you feeling each other up, eager to feel the other’s touch. somehow you make it safely to the bedroom with no trips or stumbles, never disconnecting the kiss until you plop yourself down onto the bed, akaashi doing the same next to you.

“so what do you want? the usual? you want me to eat you out?” akaashi asks breathlessly.

“um, actually akaashi...” you trail off, a bit nervous to tell him what you want.

“what is it babe?” he asks, concern spreading over his face.

“i want to go all the way this time. i want you to take my virginity.” you say bluntly. akaashi’s mouth gapes open slightly at your words. he has been waiting for this day for who knows how long, and now that it’s here? he has no clue what to do with himself.

“are you sure?” is all he mutters.

“i’m one hundred percent positive.” you assure him.

he smiles at you cutely before kissing you again. slowing down the tempo now that he knows this will be a bit more of a serious ordeal. you like the slowness of the kiss though, feeling his lips pressing gently against yours while his hands rest on your hips. it gives you butterflies.

akaashi temporarily stops the kiss to move you farther up onto the bed so now your head is resting on the pillows. he wants you to be as comfortable as possible and figures this will help.

“comfortable?” he asks, just to make sure and you nod. he then takes off his shirt and you follow his lead, removing yours too. then goes your pants, and your underwear, and the two of you are left completely naked.

you blush at the sight of your boyfriend. you realize you’ve never seen him fully naked. you’ve either seen him with his shirt off, or with his pants off while you gave him head. but never at the same time. and he’s never seen you fully naked either. either with your shirt off, or your bottoms off. never both. so you both just take a moment to soak in the sights in front of you.

“you’re so stunning.”

“you’re so handsome.”

the two of you speak in unison and laugh at the coincidence.

“no seriously though y/n, you’re insanely beautiful.” akaashi says, scanning over your body.

“hm, thank you baby.” you hum and a huge grin takes over your face, and akaashi’s as well.

he then starts kissing your neck. leaving soft small pecks all over the exposed skin. that was his favorite thing to do because it tickles so you always giggle a little bit. half giggle, half moan, and he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever.

“i know foreplay is important, but if i don’t fuck you now i’m not gonna make it.” akaashi admits agaist your neck, still placing kisses.

“that’s ok.” you laugh, “i’m already wet enough anyway.” you confess.

“shit, you are.” akaashi groans as he pulls away to peak at your pussy, which was currently glistening with your wetness. “that’s hot.” he mumbles more to himself than to you but you still smile anyway.

“are you sure you’re ready?” he asks again.

“i told you, i’m positive.” you reassure him.

with that, he positions himself at your entrance. his eyes are locked on your face, wanting to see your reaction as it goes in. he pushes himself in at a slow pace. a pace that would have been irritating to anyone with more experience, but for you it was perfect because the stretch you feel is very new. it hurts a little, but watching akaashi’s face and hearing his soft moan as he thrusts himself into you makes it all worth it.

“shit.” he groans once he’s all the way inside and you moan too, him hitting a spot that made your whole body tingle.

“right there, do that again akaashi.” you say and he does exactly that, earning another rich moan from your lips. he smiles at your noise, secretly trying to hold himself back from cumming just from that.

he continues to slowly thrust into you, purposely aiming to hit the spot that you like so much just so he can keep hearing your moans. he then watches you as you place your fingers on your clit, rubbing it expertly. his cock twitches at the view in front of him. you with your legs wide open with him deep inside you as you desperately rub yourself, looking up at him innocently. a complete contradiction to what the two of you are currently doing. and just as he thinks you can’t make it any harder for him not to cum you moan,

“akaashi, please go faster.” and he nearly passes out.

though he does not, and gives you exactly what you asked for. his thrusts increase in speed but he maintains his deep aim into your g spot and you feel yourself begin to tremble. he just watches in awe, knowing that you’re getting close to your limit.

“i-i’m close.” you moan, legs beginning to tighten around akaashi’s waist where you currently had them wrapped.

“cum for me y/n, please cum for me.” he says, partly wanting you to cum for your own pleasure and partly because he’s quite literally about to explode.

he can tell you’re there by the way your trembling gets slightly more aggressive and your moans get quite a bit louder and more consistent, and this brings him over the edge too. he quickly pulls out of you and cums on the bedsheets next to your body, the two of you panting as you come down from your highs.

“my god akaashi, if i would have known it’d be that good i would’ve asked you to take my virginity forever ago” you say and he laughs before showering your face in kisses.

[shreddedparchment]

A Wife for Thor Pt.24

What She’s Done

05/19/2021

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader         Word Count: 5,590

Warnings: language, angst, fluff, Loki being the best bro, pregnancy problems

A/N: I’m sorry this is so late. I’m not going to explain too much as I want the focus to be on the chapter but I’m feeling better. Hope you all enjoy this one and I hope you can forgive me. haha As always, if you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

Please DO NOT repost my work on any other sites or blogs!

REBLOGS are always welcome!

The sound of the fanfare outside is muted. The heavy doors of the main room are shut.

Thor sits on his large steel, silver, and wooden throne. Normally, your own throne would have been moved into the room so that you could sit beside him. Today however, he wants you standing.

Loki stands on Thor’s left, his hands moving across his tablet at godly speeds. He’s busy. Always busy. While Thor has the final say, Loki sets everything up for him and comes to him with the choices that must be made.

He’s indispensable and both you and Thor know it. So, when the large doors are thrown open and Thor takes his hand off of your lower waist where he’d been massaging the knots away, as Ambassador Coates walks forward, you glare right at him and his judging distrustful look at the sight of Asgard’s Prince.

The music outside, large horns that sound more like a call to battle, slowly die and are completely cut off when the doors are shut. Just outside you know two Valkyrie are standing guard.

Inside, two more regular guards stand at attention.

“Ambassador Coates, I’m glad you saw fit to accept my invitation,” Thor says casually.

One wouldn’t know that Thor is angry. He sounds so welcoming. The charm he’s exuding is one you’ve never seen him use before but Loki doesn’t seem surprised by it. Instead, Loki’s lips seem to curve upwards a little in the teeniest smirk.

The Ambassador does as he’s expected and once he’s near the foot of the raised wooden floor where Thor’s throne sits, he gives a quick bow meeting first Thor’s singular eye and then your own blank gaze.

Keeping your anger in check is easy. You’re able to wipe your face of all emotion and it’s a skill now that you’re glad you learned in the orphanage you’d grown up in. Never letting anyone know how sad or hurt you are was key to your survival.

���Your Majesties,” the ambassador states, the irritation in his voice loud and clear for all of you to hear.

It looks like Thor’s plan to roll out the red carpet as if the ambassador were visiting royalty got his message across clearly.

“I hope I find you in good health? Are you faring well with the pregnancy?”

You don’t answer him. You simply stare.

“We’re well enough,” Thor begins. “Forgive me in my haste to get to the point, Ambassador Coates but as I hear it from my brother, you have been making it very difficult for Her Majesty the Queen of Asgard to meet with you, despite her warnings that what she had to share was imperative to the safety of Earth and human-kind.”

The ambassador blinks. He doesn’t attempt to speak or react in any other way than to show that he’s processing Thor’s words. All signs of irritation at his welcome gone.

“Would you say that is a fair statement for her having sent, what was it? Four emails and three phone calls?” Thor asks Loki.

“Seven emails and four phone calls,” he corrects.

“Right. Seven and four.”

“Your Majesty…”

“I think you have been under the impression that my marriage to my wife has been one in name only. She’s Queen but not really? Right? She has no power or authority? Is that what you think?”

Ambassador Coates swallows hard, sweat beading along his temples. He’s not a stout man. In fact, most women would think him good looking. Nothing to Thor or Loki, but for a human he’s handsome. His sweating in this climate makes no sense unless he’s suddenly stressed.

Maybe you shouldn’t feel bad but you do just a bit. You can’t imagine what he must feel being scrutinized by Thor, yourself, and Loki. Clearly he did something wrong and now he knows it.

“Your Majesties, I-I meant no offense. Unfortunately this is a busy time for myself and my colleagues and-”

“We have no time for your excuses,” Thor sits up straighter and draws his legs a little closer together before he licks his lips and holds his hand out towards you.

Taking it, you watch him get up and then he helps you sit before checking on you, “Better, cherub?”

You nod, looking up at him as he caresses the side of your head.

“The only reason you hold the job that you currently do is because my people and I chose to settle on Earth. You might say you owe it to us. Perhaps you’d still have been employed should we not have come here but from what I understand, your salary is considerably more than what it would have been were you in some other position.

“You are married and have children, too. Don’t you?” Thor asks.

“Y-Yes, Your Majesty.”

“So, it’s important to keep your job. Isn’t it?”

He says nothing, this time simply looking down at Thor’s feet.

“My wife is not just Queen in name but she has been exemplary in her devotion of ruling the people of Asgard at my side with honor and grace. The people love her. I’m not sure what made you think you could slight an Asgardian Queen but let me be clear. If our people should find out that there was such disrespect, believe me when I tell you that the loss of your job would be the last thing you’d have to worry about.”

“And just to be clear,” Loki cuts in as Thor’s taking a breath. “My brother is not threatening you. This is a statement of fact. We Asgardians are fiercely loyal and easily offended.”

You like that Ambassador Coates isn’t glaring at Loki anymore. The fear in his eyes is worrying, but you also know that your husband and brother would do nothing to actually hurt this idiot. They’re just making sure he knows where he stands.

Thor crosses his large arms across his wide chest. Though you don’t think he means it to be intimidating, you can see from the ambassador’s gulp that Thor’s minor flex has great impact.

Gods, he’s huge.

“As it just so happens, aside from being a Queen without fault to this kingdom, the Queen of Asgard has seen fit to continue to perform in her duties as the bridge between our two peoples. She refuses to let us make decisions for the human race and was attempting to contact you to warn you of impending dangers. And you, what was the phrase, love?”

“Blew me off.”

“That’s right, you blew her off. And yet we welcome you with respect and grace.”

“Your Majesties,” the ambassador begins, but Thor holds up his hand and he stops.

“Let this be a lesson in humility for you. I love Earth and for that reason alone, in addition to the fact that this is my wife’s home and now mine, we will forgive this lapse of judgement on your part,” you’ve never heard Thor sound more like a King than in this moment.

It’s also one of those moments where you really want to drag him back to the room and get him naked. He’s never been this attractive.

The ambassador bows his head, taking his punishment with dignity.

“Forgive me, your Majesties,” he begins to say something, but then stops himself.

“Speak your mind, Ambassador Coates,” Loki urges, seeing something you and Thor don’t.

“I merely wish to apologize for my lack of forethought. I was not the only one dismissing Her Majesty the Queen of Asgard but will be sure to rectify the behavior with my colleagues when I return.”

Loki smiles, turning his gentle gaze on you as he realizes that you were right. It wasn’t misogyny. Not on Ambassador Coates’s part. That might not be the case for everyone though.

“Perhaps I should schedule meetings with your colleagues so that we might have a quick talk about the expectations we have for our relationship going forward?”

Loki’s threat is veiled heavily, but Ambassador Coates still picks up on it and his face goes a little pale.

“I don’t think that’s necessary, Your Highness. I will pass along the sentiments, if you will let me.”

There’s a burning satisfaction in your chest. Something about watching Ambassador Coates finally show not just you but Loki the respect he deserves makes you so happy.

“My Queen?” Loki prompts you, looking to you to wait for your reply.

“I think we can give him a chance to express our disappointment for us. He is our ambassador. Isn’t that right Ambassador Coates?”

Coates looks relieved, pressing his hand to his chest as he bows his head to you again.

It’s a strange sensation to see the gratitude on his face and his posture relaxes as a result. You literally just did that. You gave him some forgiveness and it really does make all the difference.

“I will support you and the Asgardian throne with more fervor from here on out, Your Majesty.”

“Cool,” you shrug, reaching to place your hand on the back of Thor’s neck, absolutely beaming at him.

He chuckles and puts his hand back on your waist, giving you a gentle squeeze and shake.

“Are you happy, my cherub?”

You nod, unable to contain the smile that stretches across your lips and you lean into him.

“Good. My job here is done then. Now, I have some things to do,” Thor rises and moves around until he’s facing you and pulls you up into a chaste but loving kiss.

With a caress to your belly, he looks at Loki and nods.

“I’ll leave the rest to you and my Queen, brother.”

“Sif will meet you by the docks,” Loki nods.

“Wonderful. I’ll see you later, love. If you need me, just tell Loki and I will come running.”

“‘Kay,” you smile.

Thor turns back to your guest and moves towards him, clapping his shoulder as he passes, “Do better, Ambassador Coates. Do better.”

All three of you watch Thor strut for the large front doors. The guard opens it for him and when he’s out of sight, the doors shutting behind him, you move to take your seat on the throne. Loki scoots a little closer to your side but stands with his tablet ready.

“Now, I think we should get down to the reason I wanted to meet with you,” you start and Ambassador Coates stands a little straighter. “But...I don’t know about you but this whole towering over you sitting on a throne thing is not really my style and feels a little forced. Let’s go to my sitting room.”

Loki smirks as Ambassador Coates relaxes a little more and even smiles, “Yes, Your Majesty.”

As the three of you walk up the steps to the right of the throne room to climb up to the small sitting room that had been set aside for you and your private entertaining, you steal a few glances at Ambassador Coates.

He still looks a little rattled and you stroke your stomach, the long silk dress you’re wearing, ruffled skirt and loose waist giving it a soft flowing quality is still noticeable and Ambassador Coates steals a few glances.

“Didn’t think I was really pregnant?”

He blanches, “What? N-No, Your Majesty! I had no reason to doubt you.”

“It’s okay. A lot of people didn’t believe it until I came back from my little vacation. I just wanted to make sure that it would take. We’re all so dependent on this little one and a lot is riding on my having Thor’s heir quickly.”

“No one who has seen you rule since your marriage would doubt your commitment to this union, Y/N,” Loki assures you gently.

He’s your number one supporter and you’re so damn grateful for him.

All three of you fall into silence but with your heavy belly and your slow walk, it stretches on.

“I’m sorry about Thor’s enthusiasm to put you in your place,” you give Coates a small apologetic smile but he quickly shakes his head. “He can be a little passionate.”

“No, Your Majesty, the mistake was mine. I should have paid you the respect you deserved. It’s-You work in an environment for too long and you begin to adopt certain behaviors that you should know aren’t acceptable but when everyone is doing it and-I was wrong. I can’t blame Thor for setting me straight.”

“Thank you, for understanding,” you shrug.

“Thank you for not holding it against me and letting me do better.”

It takes only another few minutes to reach the sitting room and you make a beeline for the small loveseat before dropping into it and leaning back against the soft plush cushions.

“Whew, I probably should have done my research on how pregnancy would affect all aspects of my life before agreeing to it,” a joke and Coates gets it because he looks respectfully amused.

Loki scoffs, “With Thor, I doubt you’d have had much choice in the matter. He is also believed to be a God of fertility, you know?”

“Loki!”

The small shock on your face really makes Coates laugh this time and your neck, ears, and cheeks burn.

Not wanting to drag this meeting out for a long time you clear your throat and Loki sits down on the armchair beside you opposite Coates’s own seat.

“I should really be more formal, but I’m not kidding when I tell you that this pregnancy is taking a toll on me.”

“Think nothing of it, Your Majesty,” Coates assures you.

“I’m not sure what you’ll be able to do with this information and maybe it’ll be best if, with your help, you can get a meeting in front of both the United Nations and NATO scheduled for me to speak to them directly.

“Thor and Loki would be there with me, of course, but it was my idea to even bring this to your attention.”

“I will be of any assistance that I can be,” Coates nods, face serious and attentive.

“We wanted to wait until we had more concrete information to give Earth’s leaders but our Queen is adamant that an early warning is better than detailed information,” Loki explains.

“Is the Earth in danger?” Coates asks, worried now.

“Sort of,” you nod. “Truth is, we don’t know. What we do know is that there’s an energy signature that we’ve been monitoring for months. Almost my entire first year of marriage. What we do know is that the energy signal was strong enough to bring Doctor Foster here to look for an explanation and my brother-in-law has kept his eye on it too. It’s familiar to him and not unthreatening so we’ve been preparing watch stations across the globe. We have one in North and South America, Australia, almost every continent so that we won’t miss any kind of danger that comes falling from the sky.

“We don’t want a repeat of New York,” you look at Loki and Coates looks at him too but neither of you have any kind of judgement in your expressions.

Maybe a little for Coates, but he quickly turns his gaze back on you.

“I wanted to give the people of Earth time to prepare for that kind of attack. The Avengers are already on the case and have been helping build up a defense but they can only do so much. Their focus is going to be on the bigger fight if it comes to that. I want to give us a fighting chance on the ground where regular people are often the ones to get hurt and suffer from big threats like this.

“I don’t want the casualties to look like they have in the past when something or someone threatens us. So, I just want to give world leaders a briefing on what we’ve found, what we’ve built in defense, and give them the resources to keep track of what we’re keeping track of.

“We’re at a unique advantage with not only Asgard’s knowledge, technology, and resources. We’re still a growing nation and what we do have is lots of strength. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and while the Valkyrie have to stay here to protect my family, we have a sizable guard that can be split into a few regiments to send out to the places that will need it most and still have enough forces to protect New Asgard.”

Coates is thinking hard, then his hand dives into his pocket and he pulls out his phone, “I’ll start making calls and can probably have something set up the day after tomorrow. If the threat is serious enough to make you worry about us humans this much, I think the sooner the better.”

“It is serious enough,” Loki assures him. “Even if it turns into nothing, we would all rather have done everything we could to minimize damage to both the humans of Earth and New Asgard.”

“Then I’ll get started. Is there any kind of data that I should see in order to convince my bosses?”

You look to Loki and reach out, placing your hand on his arm, “Loki, take Ambassador Coates down to the dungeon and let him get a look at anything we’ve gathered in the monitoring station. You’ll forgive me for not coming with you, Ambassador Coates? I really can’t stand walking around much longer today.”

“Of course, please do not mind me,” he assures you, giving you a small bow.

“Shall I have your lunch brought in here?” Loki asks.

“Please?”

He nods and with a gesture at Ambassador Coates, leads the way to the door.

“When you’ve made any significant progress, I will be in here. Can you come and let me know?”

Coates nods, the phone now pressed to his ear, “As soon as I know something, Your Majesty.”

They leave you in an appropriate rush and you relax against the cushions of your sofa feeling like a small burden’s been lifting off your shoulders.

You’ve done your part now. You’ve warned your Ambassador, now it’s his job to convince his higher-ups and hopefully they listen.

Estrid does eventually come with your lunch and you eat slowly, thinking through your options for Coates and the rest of the governments of the world. Splitting the Asgardian army up isn’t ideal, but they pack a punch. Even just a handful of soldiers in a city would make a difference.

You finish eating and you finish your tea. You get up to walk a little around the sitting room but as the afternoon wears on, you start to feel suffocated inside and Estrid happily goes with you down to your gardens.

Most of your plants have been well taken care of.

“His Majesty made sure that we kept all of your plants healthy for you,” Estrid informs you, moving to walk a few steps behind you as you walk around with a small watering can.

His consideration brings a smile to your lips.

Thor really can be so sweet. So loving. You hate that some of the time from your first year was stolen by what happened with Jane, but it couldn’t be helped. He had to discover what it would mean to lose you and you had to learn that depending on yourself is still just as important married as it was when you had no one.

Maybe it’s even more important now? You can get lost in your relationship with Thor and while that’s super tempting, to have your world start and end with Thor and your married life together, you are still your own person.

You have goals for your career and shared dreams with him too. You’ve got your hobbies and Thor has his. Both of you needed the distance.

Despite that, even though you know that the space was good for both of you, even if it hurt like hell to get it the way you two did, you’re actually really happy to be back home.

As you reach over to water one of your taller butterfly bushes, you gasp and pull your arm back against your body as a small sharp pain rocks your senses and blinds your vision for a split second.

“Your Majesty?” Estrid hurries forward.

“I’m fine, Estrid,” you assure her, waiting another second to see if the pain will come back.

Reaching down you rub the spot on your tummy where you’d felt it and wonder if maybe the baby is just kicking especially hard today.

“Shall I fetch the doctors?”

“No, really. I’m fine, Estrid.”

You move to the next plant and water a few more as you head towards the small greenhouse with the Asgardian plants you’re still trying to perfect the care for but as you reach for the door, you double over as a shooting pain stretches across the same side as before then moves down onto the base of your belly.

The watering can falls from your hand as you reach out to brace yourself against the door and hits the floor with a clunk as the water goes all over your flats, soaking your feet.

“Your Majesty!”

Estrid races to you, hands placed on your back and arm to support you as she looks to steal a glance at your face.

With your eyes shut tight, you groan and whimper as the pain just gets sharper.

“Estrid…” it takes a moment to catch your breath. “Get the doctors.”

“Guard!” Estrid calls, forcing you to let go of the door so that she can lead you to a bench. “Guard, send for the doctor!”

“Thor,” you whimper, sitting slowly and gasping as the pain intensifies. “Get Thor.”

“I’ll send for him, my Queen,” Estrid assures you and now that you’re seated, she leaves you to run and hurry the guard.

“What’s wrong?”

“Loki?” you call breathlessly, searching for his face for the comfort you know it’ll give you to have him close.

“Here,” he calls out for you and hurries around the corner. “I’m here. What’s happened? What’s wrong?”

He hovers over you, leaning over, his hands carefully pressed to your cheek and the other on your stomach.

“It hurts,” you sob without tears, “Loki…”

“It’s alright,” he promises. “You and my nephew will be fine. Come on, put your arm around my neck.”

His certainty does help and you get your arm around him. With ease he squats down and lifts you into his arms and with you moves back into the palace.

~~~~~~~~~~

It feels like a long time when you open your eyes again. You’re dizzy a little and weak. Your body feels heavy and it’s a struggle to sit up.

Looking around, you realize you’re in your bedroom alone. The sky outside is dark and the room is dim with only the fireplace lit to cast a warm orange glow around the dark room.

“Loki?” you try, remembering him carrying you when he found you in the garden.

No movement.

“Thor? Estrid?” You’d sent her to get the doctors and to get Thor. Had the doctors come?

Thor’s favorite armchair is placed by your bed, angled towards you so he must have been in here sitting by you waiting for you to wake up.

With a heavy sigh, you realize that he must have been out of his mind with worry when he heard what happened. Is the baby okay?

You put your hands on your tummy and wait for movement. He does wiggle around a little. Normal for you and him and that makes you feel better about the pain that had come out of nowhere.

It takes you too long to get up and out of bed. You’re in your nightgown, a long simple piece with modern touches but it’s also very similar to some of the long flowing white ones you remember seeing in history books.

Taking extra time to stretch up onto your feet just in case the pain comes back, you breathe a sigh of relief when you take your first step and find that you’re okay.

“Oh, baby,” you reach down and rub the sides of your bump. “You scared me, rascal.”

You know that you should probably stay still. Staying in bed is probably what your Doctors suggested but the empty chair has you worried about Thor and what state he might be in.

So instead of staying where you should, you open your bedroom door and step out into the hallway.

The spots to either side where there’s usually a guard are empty.

You look up towards the other end of the hall and see that the two soldiers have moved to stand at the center of the hall, shoulders tense and obviously distracted. Further down, at what you think they must be staring at is a grouping of palace staff. People you recognize. Estrid stands among them, frowning at the small crack in the door through which pours a line of bright white light from the sitting room you share with Thor.

Did something happen?

As you pass the two guards the jump and hurry back to the sides of your bedroom door where they belong. Their flurry of movement must have drawn the attention of the others standing by the door. They also seem to jump, look shamed and worried, before they move away from the door and head in all different directions to get back to work.

One of the maids that passes you curtsies before she scurries off stealing a look of regret at you.

Estrid stands rigid, hands clasped to her front before she steps back a bit to give you room.

“What is it, Estrid?”

She doesn’t say anything. She looks upset, her lips fixed into a severe line, eyes full of anger as she shakes her head.

“Where’s Loki? Thor?” you check, stopping by her and she only looks at the door.

You can hear muted voices from inside and your heart begins to pound.

Is it the doctors? Are Thor and Loki getting bad news? The baby was just moving though!

Your baby has to be okay. Healthy even. Nothing was wrong before you came back home.

Clinging to your bump, you move towards the crack in the door and with the breath leaving your lungs in fear of what you’ll overhear you just go ahead and push the door open because eavesdropping hasn’t served you well in the past.

If something needs to be said, you want to hear it without hiding.

Of course, what you aren’t expecting to find is Loki facing you by the long sofa where Thor usually lounges, resting his head on your lap. Behind Loki, what must have given him that frustrated look on his face is Thor, Jane clinging to his arm as she finishes speaking the thought you just interrupted as they all turn to look at you.

“-can’t help it. I love you. I-”

The absolute fury that engulfs you is indescribable.

For one year-long second, you inhale and a million thoughts cross your mind. The one you grasp onto, in favor of the ones involving murder and hurt and violence, is the one of your baby.

This kind of anger is bad for him. You can’t let it consume you. Not when you need to stay good for him.

Loki looks down at his feet, disappointment and shame overcoming his pale, handsome features.

Thor quickly jerks his hand out of Jane’s grip and moves towards you but stops when you speak only a few feet away.

“Jane?”

She swallows hard, then frowns, “I only came to warn Thor that the readings have gotten stronger. I-”

“I don’t care why you’re here. I only care that you are here. You aren’t welcome in my house, near my husband, or on any piece of land in this Kingdom,” you take a step towards them and stop as you stroke your belly to remind you to keep calm. “I want you gone. Out of my home, away from my people, and if you trespass here again, I’ll have you thrown in jail. You aren’t welcome in New Asgard.”

“You can’t ban me from an entire Kingdom,” she argues, moving forward towards you.

“Try me,” you warn. “Out of respect for what you meant to Thor in the past, I’ve kept your name clean. I haven’t told anyone what you tried to do here, but here you are trying again. Now either you want me to trash you, or you seriously can’t take a hint.

“We don’t want you here.”

“Thor invited me himself, if he didn’t want me here, why would he do that?”

You grind your teeth, again stroking your tummy, “You’re right. I don’t know why my husband would invite you here when I have made it very clear that you aren’t welcome. Whatever the reason, he and I will discuss it together, because we’re married. Husband and wife. Until the day I die, at least, since he’ll outlive me by two thousand years.

“And whatever you two had in the past is gone. So, get out or I’ll have you thrown out.”

She opens her mouth to argue and you take two steps towards her, “I might be pregnant, but I can still do plenty of damage in the minute that it’ll take Thor and Loki to pull me off of you. Please, say something. Please, please I beg you. Give me an excuse. I have a really bad temper and I am dying to express myself. Please.”

Jane turns towards Thor, waiting for some kind of rebuttal from him but he’s got his eyes trained on you and you alone. The shame on his face, the agony of what you finding them all here might mean is not lost on him.

When he doesn’t say anything, Loki clears his throat, “I think it’s time to go, Jane.”

His urging helps and with a look of hurt and disbelief, she tears her eyes off of Thor and stomps out past you.

You watch her go, Estrid scurrying after her to lead her out the back instead of the front where she might be spotted.

“Loki?”

He turns to you, waiting.

“I don’t want anyone to know she was here. Anyone other than the group of palace staff that was standing by the door fucking listening to what was being said in here. Can you get Heimdall and send her home that way?”

“I’m on it,” he assures you and hurries past you, disappearing into the palace.

“I-” Thor begins.

“Don’t!”

He shuts his mouth.

“Not here.”

Turning, you lead the way back to the bedroom and the guard opens the door for you, Thor following closely behind.

As the door shuts you don’t stop until you’re sitting on your bed, hands stroking your belly as you shut your eyes and try to calm yourself.

“I asked you for one thing. One thing, Thor. I asked you not to make a fool of me. Seven people from our staff were listening to you and Jane. Seven! By tomorrow that’ll be twenty and by the weekend the tabloids will have picked up on the story.”

“I’m sorry,” he starts but you growl in frustration.

“I stood in front of our people and told them that Jane Foster was not welcome in our Kingdom and you walked her right in! I-I can’t do this. I can’t do this right now.”

You get up and point at the large doors.

“I need you to get out. I need space and I don’t care why you let her in. I don’t care why you’d make me look like such a stupid fucking joke I only know that you did and I’m done. I need you out. Don’t come looking for me. When I’m ready, if I’m ever ready to talk to you again, I’ll find you. Until then, leave me alone.”

“Cherub-”

“NO! You don’t get to do this shit, Thor-You don’t get to undermine me and bring that woman back into our lives and still get to explain yourself after she lied to you about being pregnant, and making a mockery of our marriage. You don’t get a say. You get out of my room, you keep away from me, you wait until I’m ready to hear you. Until I’m not angry anymore. Until I’m not hurting anymore.

“I don’t understand what it is about this woman that you just-can’t you see what she is? What she’s done? Don’t you understand why she can’t be here? Don’t you get-You know what? Just get out. I don’t care. I don’t care if you get it or not. Get out.”

“Y/N, please, I-”

“GET OUT!”

The silence that follows your outburst is interrupted only by the crackling of the fire. In the dim light, Thor’s face is grave and broken. You can’t feel bad for him though.

As much as you love him, as much as you wish this hadn’t just happened, as much as you hate to see him hurt, you can’t ignore the pain in your own chest, drowning you again in betrayal.

This is why you’d wanted to keep your distance. This agony is why you’d wanted to keep him at arm’s length.

This is why you can only depend on yourself.

Eventually, Thor bows his head and with heavy feet, he leaves your room shutting the door behind him leaving you to sob and throw pillows in anger.

[scxrlettwxtches]

a crown of thorns | hwang hyunjin

genre: royal au, fluff/angst, fem!reader

warnings: pregnancy, slight violence

description: a few years have passed since your tumultuous beginnings with the enemy king, hwang hyunjin, and to everyone’s astonishment, your marriage flourished with an abundance of love. however, this was not yet a happy ever after, and danger still lurks within every corner of your peaceful kingdom.

word count: 14.0k+

a/n: ack the more i read this, the worse it seems to get haha. but guys!! this is my last fic on this blog!! thank you again for all the love you’ve shown me and my writing. <3 wishing everyone all the best!! 

As he sat on his throne, absently chatting away with foreign envoys, Hwang Hyunjin considered himself rather lucky for a multitude of reasons.

All the princes and the lords sitting around the table, enjoying the tea and pastries, had everything one could want in the world. Endless fountains of wealth, resources, luxury. Whatever they desired, they only needed to snap their fingers, and someone would provide. It was the type of life many in his kingdom could only dream about in their wildest fantasies.

But, underneath the splendor, Hyunjin could see it as bright as day. Beneath the material luxury was discontentment, unease, unhappiness. Many of them were married to people that they did not love, were tied to their own wealth as it was the only sense of stability in their lives. And above all, Hyunjin could sense their loneliness, the invisible--yet deadly--disease that latched onto the heart and knawed at it until it was nothing but a shriveled remain. It was a poison that had no identifiable cure, and its affects only magnified as time went on.

Hyunjin could see it all because, once upon a time, he was just like them. Sitting on the throne, he was merely staring at reflections of his past self, a shell of a boy that was forced into a position of power too soon with too few people he could trust. He saw himself in the young lord that was visiting from across the sea, his eyes alight with ambition and a thirst to prove himself. He saw himself in the crown prince of the neighboring kingdom, the mistrust laced in every sip he took of his tea. He was like that once: scared, angry, betrayed, and alone.

But with a strange twist of fate, his life changed for the better. He found people he could trust. He met the love of his life. Unbelievably, he even married her, slowly earning her respect and eventually, her heart. And now, Hwang Hyunjin was no longer the boy with a crown too heavy and a life too lonely. He had people he cared about deeply, he had people he wanted to protect with his whole being. Especially…

“Papa! Papa!”

Hyunjin’s ears perked up as the large, ornate wooden doors of the hall creaked open ever so slightly, and a pitter patter of frantic footsteps bounded into the throne room. Almost immediately, he felt a smile grace his face, all the tension draining out of his posture as he gazed at the little girl, his darling daughter. 

Even the most stone-hearted envoys and esteemed guests could not hide their smiles as the girl ran excitedly towards her father, “Papa!” She giggled again, clumsily climbing up the steps to the throne.

Hyunjin’s heart fluttered with pride as he watched his daughter clamber up the marble steps, and for a split second, the image of her sitting on the throne as the next queen flashed across his mind. One baby step at a time, he reminded himself, and he stood up, easily picking up the girl as she gripped onto his sleeves.

“Naeun,” he brushed the baby hairs out of her face and smiled at her rosy cheeks. Time and time again, he was reminded of how much his daughter had begun to resemble the both of you. She had his doe eyes, but her smile, that was all you. 

The meeting became completely irrelevant to Hyunjin as he lavished all of his attention on her, “What are you doing here?”

Naeun, who was breathing heavily from all the running she had done, huffed and pouted rather sternly, “Mama said that if you stay in the office all night again, mama will dwag you back to the bedwoom.” 

Hyunjin fought the urge to laugh, utterly charmed by Naeun’s petulant words. How hard had she prepared to relay such a fiery message? He climbed up the remaining steps with the girl in his arms and sat back down comfortably on the throne, gently placing her on his lap.

“Papa is very sorry,” he said solemnly, bringing her little hand to his lips so he could kiss the back of it, making her giggle and squirm, “Did your mama send you here to tell me that?”

“Nope! But mama miss you!” Naeun replied brightly, and by this point, none of the guests were able to hide their endeared smiles and chuckles. Hyunjin felt a strange rush of both protectiveness and pride as he observed how easily Naeun had stolen the spotlight in the room with her joy and her innocence. It must be a father instinct that he was beginning to develop.

“Ah, mama misses me?” Hyunjin didn’t even know his heart was capable of containing such unbridled happiness and love as he smiled at his daughter. Naeun nodded firmly, and Hyunjin rubbed her back as he smoothed down her pretty princess dress, making sure she was comfortable before addressing the guests.

“My apologies for the interruption,” he said with perfect politeness, ever the ideal host. As expected, not many people were even the slightest bit annoyed by the disturbance, and they all waved off his apology, continuing the casual conversations about trade, finances, and commerce.

When it was all over, and Hyunjin was finally able to adjourn with all meetings and any other activities he’d scheduled to entertain his foreign guests, he eagerly walked down the hallways to the royal chambers, with Naeun safely nestled in his arms.

“Papa?”

“Yes, my little one?” He replied, letting her rest her chin on his shoulder.

“What’s fin..finan…” Naeun’s face scrunched up with effort as she tried to put the word back together from her memory. 

Hyunjin smiled fondly; he’d noticed her eagerly listening during the meeting, trying to soak in all the new knowledge that was coming her way. Naeun was good at de-escalating tensions, especially when she did her usual thing of barging into meetings without a care in the world, but Hyunjin also liked to let her stay in meetings because the little toddler seemed genuinely interested. She never seemed like she wanted to be anywhere else, only blinking from person to person with her large doe eyes. 

“Finance?” He supplied helpfully, and Naeun nodded into his shoulder, “It’s grown up stuff.”

“I like grown up stuff,” Naeun said with all the seriousness that a three year old could muster.

Hyunjin laughed, “I know you do, petal,” he hummed, thinking of a good way to explain the concept, “You know when you like to play house with your dolls and Uncle Changbin?”

Naeun immediately brightened at that. She loved playing house with Uncle Changbin! He was always a bit grumpy, a bit reluctant, but they always had a great tea party whenever her mama and papa were busy. 

“Mhm!”

“And you always like to trade certain dolls for the dolls that Changbin brings?” Hyunjin asked. Once again, he felt enormous gratitude to his personal commander, Seo Changbin, for going beyond the responsibilities of duty to take care of Naeun. As much as you and Hyunjin tried however you could to make time for her, with royal duties, parties, meetings, and work, it was just impossible to spend large amounts of time with your lovely daughter.

“Mhm! Uncle Changbin brings pwetty dolls!” Naeun nodded.

Hyunjin felt the smile grow on his face as he held her in his arms. He’d been smiling more often ever since Naeun was born, “Exactly. And you always have to give a few of your old ones to get the new, right? Or choose a few toys to give to Uncle Changbin so he can donate them to the capitol orphanages?”

Naeun only nodded curiously. 

“That, in a way, is finance. Of course, it’s a little more boring than trading dolls, though,” Hyunjin tickled her tummy with his finger, distracting her as she wiggled and squealed. Truth be told, Hyunjin didn’t want Naeun to grow up so quickly, even if that was all she wanted to do. Hyunjin didn’t remember anything from his childhood except textbooks, lectures, and a crushing pressure from his father and mother to live up to their expectations. He would never wish that upon his daughter.

After one more turn around the corner, they finally arrived at the Royal Chambers, with Changbin and Felix standing guard on both sides of the entrance. 

“Hi, Uncle Changbin! Hi, Uncle Lixie!” Despite their attempts to teach Naeun royal protocol about how to address the Kingsguard, she had little regard for it, opting to wave from the safety of her father’s arms. 

Changbin’s normally passive, almost grumpy expression melted ever so slightly as he waved back at her.  Despite his constant statements about not wanting to marry and not wanting to start a family, having Naeun made Hyunjin realize that his commander was surprisingly good with children. But if anyone so much as mentioned it, Changbin would deny any evidence of such allegations. Felix, on the other hand, was absolutely besotted with the little girl and made no attempts to hide it.

“Hi, little princess!” He smiled, opening the doors to the most private section of the palace. Hyunjin chuckled, nodding respectfully to both men before walking in. 

“Now, where’s your mama?” Hyunjin murmured. Of course, you were supposed to be in the bedroom, but Hyunjin knew you better than that. 

Naeun giggled, as if she knew you were breaking some sort of rule, and pointed to the study, “There!” 

“Thank you, petal,” Hyunjin booped her nose fondly before walking into the study, creaking the door open slowly as not to startle you. 

Every time his eyes fell to you, he would be swept with a newfound love that was stronger and more powerful than the time before. Even though your back was turned slightly away, and he could only see the slight curve of your lips and the profile of you from the side, Hyunjin knew without a doubt that you were the most beautiful woman in the world. 

You didn’t seem to notice your family walking in, lost in thought as you stared at the window, a piece of parchment in your hand. Hyunjin smiled, knowing how concentrated you can get when it came to state affairs. He put a finger to his lips, indicating to his daughter to be quiet. Naeun covered her mouth with her little hands, nodding as he very gently placed her on the fluffy carpet so she could play with the toys on the ground.

“I believe the doctor’s orders were for you to stay in bed?” Hyunjin murmured softly as he gently draped a woolen shawl over your shoulders, his arms snaking around you from behind. Maybe you did know he was around, since you didn't seem startled by his presence and only smiled as his hands rested on your tummy.

“We have guests in our palace. How can I stay in bed when there’s so much to do?” You replied, leaning into his arms and physically relaxing against him.

“You can just leave the work to me,” Hyunjin pouted a little, feeling guilty that he wasn’t able to handle the entire burden of royal duties. He couldn’t when you were pregnant with Naeun, and he couldn’t now. His hands rubbed your tummy through the silk nightgown as he gently placed his chin on your shoulder, murmuring, “It’s not good for the baby…”

Every time Hyunjin touched your tummy, it made you airy with disbelief and awe at how fortunate you were to have him. When you were a princess, long long ago, you’d never expected yourself to look forward to starting a family. But with Hyunjin, Naeun brought so much joy in your lives that neither of you could help but want another, and your prayers were answered when you became pregnant again around the time Naeun turned three. 

Part of why you were willing was because it awed you every time you saw how much Hyunjin cared. You knew how kings were, always drowning in their work, their duty, which always led them to crave independence, and then occasionally, turning to other women than their lawful wife. You knew that was the norm. Care, much less love, was something that royal women would be lucky to have.

Yet, Hyunjin gave it to you in the spades. Hyunjin cared, Hyunjin loved so much. You saw it every time he looked at you, you saw it every time he would gingerly place the crown upon your head before formal gatherings. You saw it every time he’d keep you close at parties, made sure everyone knew how much he valued you and your opinion. You saw it every time he looked at Naeun, his eyes sparkling with childlike wonder that could only be reflected in your daughter’s own eyes.

And now, with the two of you expecting another child, you saw it in his fretting, his worrying, his constant attempts to keep you safe and healthy, even if he was a little overbearing.

“The doctor never said a little bit of work would harm the baby,” you pointed out, tilting your head back to look into his eyes as you cupped his cheek, “I’m checking myself, I promise.”

“I’m sure you are,” Hyunjin chuckled, and he could no longer stop himself, his lips pressing against  yours in a gentle kiss as he hugged you. You only hummed happily against his lips, enjoying the moment when you were suddenly interrupted.

“Yuckie!” Naeun squeaked out, causing both of you to pull away with a laugh. The princess was sitting on the ground with a soft plushie in her arms as she looked at her parents with disgust.

You burst into giggles, pulling away from Hyunjin to walk over to her, “Yuckie? It’s yuckie that your parents are in love?” You asked teasingly, pinching her cheek. Naeun giggled, trying to run away as Hyunjin suddenly lifted her up from behind, placing her in his lap.

“Kisses are yuckie!” She squealed, making both of you laugh as Hyunjin tickled her tummy.

Hyunjin smiled, chuckling, “Don’t ever let me catch you kissing someone else,” he warned. In all honesty, the idea of his precious daughter falling in love made his blood boil unreasonably. Especially in the royal realm, it was so hard to determine which ones were good and which ones were only hiding behind the mask of benevolence. Just the thought of Naeun falling in love, Naeun getting her heart broken by some good for nothing prince…

“My love,” Hyunjin’s eyes widened as he felt a gentle hand on his arm. You smiled fondly, almost as you already knew exactly what he was thinking, as you always did, “Baby steps, alright? She’s not at that age yet.”

“Baby steps!” Naeun chorused, although oblivious to the conversation at hand. 

Hyunjin felt himself relax, and he engulfed his daughter in a big hug, letting her snuggle into his chest, “Yes, baby steps,” he murmured as he left a kiss in her hair.

.

“What do you mean, they won’t allow it?” You asked angrily, following Hyunjin into his study as he ran a frantic hand through his hair.

Hyunjin sank into his chair, frustration clear in his face as he glanced up at you, “The letter from the council came back. Apparently, there were some strong voices of protest, and eventually they decided to rule against it. They won’t accept Naeun as the heir.”

“That’s ridiculous!” You snapped, feeling steam practically radiating from your ears, “She’s the eldest child, our first born! They've had three years to observe her, and she's performed well in all subjects. She’s practically a genius!" 

You whirled around, tightening the shawl around your frame as you made up your mind to go to the council yourself when Hyunjin rushed over, intercepting you as he gently grabbed your arms, “Y/N, my darling,” you shook your head, not in the mood for his cajoling and gentle attention.

“I’m going to talk to them. They were relenting a couple months ago! I don’t see why--”

“Hey, hey, breathe,” Hyunjin’s voice was suddenly stern, his hands running up and down your back to soothe you, “Calm down, love. Please. Think of the baby.”

You froze, the fight beginning to drain out of you as you tried to take deep breaths. Hyunjin’s hand trailed to your wrist, subtly taking note of your pulse to ensure that you were still alright. 

“I know you’re angry. So am I,” Hyunjin spoke, stepping closer to you and cupping your face in his gentle hands. Your eyes closed at his touch, feeling his warm embrace as his comforting presence, “But we need to deal with this slowly. There are foreign envoys still here, remember? We can’t go barging around the palace like we normally do, not until they leave.”

You huffed, knowing that Hyunjin was right, but still feeling churlishly angry at the news, “So we just wait?”

“We’ll discuss it once more when the council meeting is held again,” Hyunjin suggested, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, “I’m sure they’ll cave. Naeun is a perfect contender, the perfect candidate for the next heir. She’s just not what they’re used to.”

“And what are they used to? A son?” You said mockingly, your anger fueled by the ridiculous laws that were still in place. Your kingdom had long since done away with such petty things as male only rules, but it seemed like Hyunjin's kingdom was a little more traditional. 

“Yes, and you know how stubborn they are about it” Hyunjin murmured, palming your stomach, “They’re waiting for this little one.”

“They don’t even know if it’s going to be a boy,” you scoffed, but you could feel yourself relaxing in Hyunjin’s arms. The two of you were so alike and yet so different. Hyunjin was the cooling water to your raging firestorm. And you were the spark that light his ice cold heart alight with love for the first time all those years ago.

Hyunjin hummed at your comment, gently nuzzling his nose against your cheek, “I think it will be. Otherwise, I'd be awfully outnumbered in this family,” he said softly, kissing your cheek as he continued, “But no matter. I still want my precious Naeun to be the crown princess. The council just has stick up their ass.”

“Hyunjin!” You slapped his arm, pulling away to walk towards his study, sitting in the chair as you felt the baby kick once again.

The king only laughed at your glare, immediately rushing to your side as he took your hand, “The baby’s bothering you again, huh?” He asked, his eyes filled with wonder as he stared at your tummy. It was a silent, yet rather apparent question to you, asking whether he had permission to touch. It was almost adorable how childishly excited Hyunjin would get at the thought of his own children.

You gently placed his hand over the fabric of your dress, right over where you’d felt a slight kick just before, “It’s not a bother,” you said gently, “How can it be a bother when it reassures me that our child is safe and healthy?”

Hyunjin’s expression was nothing short of entranced as he felt a push against the palm of his hand, “I love you,” he murmured as he glanced at you, and he leaned forward to press his cheek against your tummy, to which you only smiled fondly and ran a hand through his hair.

“I love them, too,” he spoke to your stomach, as he had no doubt that your unborn child would hear it and know just how much their father cared.

The two of you stayed in that position, basking in the monetary relaxation for a moment longer, your hands gently running through his hair as he rested his head on your lap. It was definitely not a position that either of you would want to be caught in, but Hyunjin found himself rather fond of it, being able to let go of his responsibilities and rely on you for comfort without being anxious. 

You sat for a moment longer before a particular piece of parchment on Hyunjin's desk caught your eye, and you quickly reached for it as your husband continued to rest comfortably on your lap.

“There’s a party tomorrow night?” You asked, scanning the contents over as your free hand gently carded through his hair.

“Mhm, the envoys are leaving the morning after, so it has to be grand,” Hyunjin mumbled lazily in return, his eyes shut from mild exhaustion.

You hummed, putting the parchment down as you said softly, “If it’s the final dinner, shouldn’t I be there? I haven’t seen any of our guests except on the first day. It would be impolite if I missed the last event, too.”

“No,” Hyunjin’s grip tightened imperceptibly as he gently held your waist, lifting his head up to meet your eyes, “They understand your situation. It’s only natural that you haven’t been at all the events,” he said firmly, his hand absently moving towards your stomach.

“It’s still impolite. I should probably go,” you said softly, resting your hand over his, “We don’t want our guests to leave with a bad taste in their mouth.” 

Hyunjin looked uncertain, his eyes pleading with you as he pressed his lips to your knuckles, “If something happens…”

“Nothing will happen, my darling,” you cooed, trying to reassure your love as you sensed his fear. Hyunjin, underneath his cold words and powerful gaze, was just as human as any other man.

“It’s just a party. I won’t even dance, alright?” You continued with a cajoling smile, brushing your thumb against his cheek bone, “I just have to be there, Hyunjin. It’s my duty.” 

Hyunjin’s eyes fluttered shut as he melted against your touch, leaning his cheek into your hand and sighing softly, “I know I can’t change your mind,” he said, “You’re just stubborn like that, and I love it more than you know. But it scares me so much.” 

“It scares you?” You repeated his words, waiting patiently for him to elaborate. 

The king nodded, looking so vulnerable in your arms that you were afraid he’d break, “What if something happens? What if, one day, you overestimate yourself and you lose the baby? Or worse,” Hyunjin kissed your palm, holding your wrist in his hand as he gazed upon you with more pain in his eyes than you’ve ever seen.

“What if I lose you, too?”

Your heart shattered at the fear and the sheer amount of unconditional love that glistened in his eyes whenever they met yours, “Oh, Hyunjin,” you sighed, leaning forward to be closer to him, “It won't come to that.”

But Hyunjin couldn't hear reason at this point, frightening himself as he held your hand, “I can't rule this kingdom without you, without your love. You're the first happiness I've ever had in this lifetime.” 

“Hyunjin, you can and you have,” you argued, reaching to lace your fingers with his, “You were ruling wonderfully before we met.”

“It's not the same, darling, and you know it,” Hyunjin answered, kissing the pulse point of your wrist daintily, “You made me a better person and a better king.”

You couldn't help but smile adoringly, reaching your other hand to run your fingers through his soft hair, “I'm glad. You made my life happier than I ever dreamed it could be.”

Hyunjin sighed, melting into your touch. As always, he felt weightless in your arms, free of burden and responsibility. He didn't have to think of anything but you and him.

But alas, there was still a problem at hand. 

“Do you really want to attend the party?” He asked softly into the fabric of your dress, one of the comfortable ones he'd ordered to be specially made for you when the two of you discovered that you were expecting a second time.

“I do, Hyunjin. I think it's best that I take my place beside you, at least once before they leave. It'll quell any rumors about us and about my supposed ill health,” you explained your reasoning, understanding Hyunjin’s doubts but still feeling strongly about going all the same.

Hyunjin’s eyes opened slowly and he nodded in resignation as he stood up, “Alright. I won't stop you. But, my love, at least let me assign Changbin and Felix to you as your guards for the night.”

“Both of them?” You asked, standing up slowly to maintain your balance. Hyunjin didn't leave your side for a moment, holding your arm in case you fell, “Isn't that a bit much?” 

“It would make me less anxious to know you're well guarded,” Hyunjin pleaded with you, fixing the shawl around your shoulders as the two of you walked out of the study. It was already quite late in the evening, with Naeun having been sent to bed long before. 

Your fingers intertwined naturally, and the two of you headed to your chambers, ready for a long night's rest, “Alright, assign both of them to me,” you relented, “I still think it’s a bit overkill.”

“You’d be walking around the town without a single guard if we went with what you thought was overkill,” Hyunjin chuckled, beginning to shed his uniform.

“Not true,” you protested weakly as you climbed into bed, already in your nightgown.

Hyunjin joined you soon after, engulfing you in his arms and his comforting scent as you let out a sigh of contentment, burrowing in his embrace, “Let’s get some rest, alright?” You said, sleepiness laced in your voice as you hummed softly, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, my darling,” Hyunjin murmured his response without a moment of hesitation, as if he’d been waiting all his life to tell you, “so much.”

.

Parties were hectic enough already, even more so when you had a hyperactive toddler to manage on top of the plethora of things that could already go wrong, from the banquet food to the entertainment. 

"Weeee!" Naeun squealed, running around the bedroom like a madman and trying to escape changing into her party dress. 

Before she could slip away, you managed to snag an arm around her waist, lifting her into your arms with a grunt, “Where do you think you're going, little princess?”

Naeun pouted, whining as she wiggled in your grasp, “Want to go play! Want to find papa!” She said with a huff. 

“Papa is busy right now,” you said patiently as you gently plopped her on the bed, trying to help her out of her nightgown while Naeun fussed, obviously not wanting to do as she was told.

“But I want to play with papa!” She protested as she eventually lifted her arms, letting you help her change. 

You sighed as you helped her into the beautiful golden dress, the fabric laced with ruffles and sparkling thread that was fit for any little princess.

“Papa is a little busy, alright?” You spoke gently, trying to make your lecture sound less like a scolding and more of an explanation, “There have been guests in Mama and Papa's home for the last few days, and Papa has been busy taking care of them.”

“B-but...what about me?” Naeun’s lower lip quivered dramatically, and you fought the urge to smile at how utterly adorable she was, “Papa take care of me!”

“You don't think Papa takes care of you?” You asked, raising an eyebrow, “Papa spends all his free time with you, Naeunie. Papa takes caring for you very, very seriously.”

Naeun pouted still, her lip jutting out petulantly, but she let her head fall. Even for a three year old, the little girl was awfully perceptive, and knew when she'd lost an argument. And in her heart of hearts, she knew that her parents really did move heaven and earth to make her their top priority.

“Papa no stop taking care of me?” She asked softly as you buttoned the pearl clasp around her collar.

“No, my little one,” you answered with a gentle smile as you fixed her hair, “Papa and Mama will always take care of you. When this is all over, how about we stay a week at the summer residence? Just you, papa and me, and we'll have all the time in the world to play with you.”

Naeun gasped, bouncing on the bed, “Weally? Just us?”

“If you want, you can drag your Uncle Changbin to come with us, too,” you said slyly as you booped her nose, but instead of scrunching her face playfully as she always did, Naeun suddenly looked ashamed, head tilted downward as if she’d done something naughty and then felt guilty about it after the fact.

You were immediately concerned, “Little one?” You prodded, gently trying to tilt her chin up so she’d look at you, “Little one, what’s happened? You can tell Mama anything.”

Naeun hiccuped slightly, and your heart ached as you realized that she was on the verge of tears, “Mama, ‘m sorry,” she mumbled softly, eyes glittering with unshed tears and you quickly sat on the bed, pulling her into your lap.

“Why are you sorry, Naeunie?” You asked, trying not to sound frantic, worried, or anything that might frighten her more.

“Papa said Mama is tired, and that I shouldn’t bother Mama,” Naeun explained, large droplets beginning to roll down her rosy cheeks as she wailed, “But I’ve been bad bad! I make Mama worry!”

You tried to stifle your incredulous laughter as your daughter clung onto you, wailing dramatically as if the world was about to end. So that was what got her so worked up all of a sudden.

“Silly little thing,” you teased, cradling her in your arms as best you could with the bump of your stomach getting in the way. Still, you nuzzled your nose against her cheek, wiping her tears, “It’s mama’s job to worry. You’re a perfectly good girl, Naeunie. Mama and Papa are so lucky to have a precious girl like you.”

Naeun’s shoulders slowly began to shake as she rubbed her eyes, “Like me?” She repeated, a tinge of innocent hope and adoration laced in her voice that always raised your protective instincts, the instinct to shield her from any harm that this world could throw at her.

You smiled, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear as you spoke softly, “Just like you. Mama and Papa love you to the moon and back.” 

“And I love Mama and Papa, too! So so muchie!” Naeun parroted back happily, smiling with all the life and brightness that both you and Hyunjin lacked in your own childhoods. Maybe that was why the two of you were so determined to be there for Naeun in every way possible, to make sure that she knew she was so very loved. Because neither of you received that type of acceptance when you were children.

“Good girl,” you said, kissing her forehead once more before smoothing down her dress, “Are you ready to go?”

“Mm!” She nodded, clambering off the bed and standing tall, “Will Papa be at party, too?”

“Your papa is already there,” you chuckled to yourself, taking your daughter’s little hand and heading out of the bedroom.

Outside, both Felix and Changbin were waiting for you, dressed impeccably for the formal occasion. In normal circumstances, it would only be one of them waiting for you while the other guarded Hyunjin, but the king had not allowed any exceptions. Both of the strongest in the Kingsguard must be by your side for the day.

“Sorry for the wait,” you said to both of them as Naeun slipped away from you, skipping over to her two uncles, going especially for one in particular.

“Uncle Changbin, Uncle Changbin!” The man grunted as he caught her in his arms, shifting so she was eye level with him, her bright smile contrasting with his typical frown.

Felix walked with you as Changbin and Naeun entered their own little world, with the young toddler prattling his ears off and the commander listening with surprising attentiveness, “She plays favorites,” Felix complained playfully, clutching a hand to his heart as he stayed by your side.

“She definitely does,” you agreed with a fond smile, keeping an eye on your daughter as you walked down the halls, a hand resting on your tummy as you glanced at the man beside you, “Hyunjin is at the party, right? How is he doing?”

“When will the two of you ever not worry about one another?” Felix laughed, shaking his head, “Hyunjin caught me on the way up to your bedroom, asking about you as well.”

You shrugged, the sound and clamor of crowds and partying beginning to be apparent as you neared the ballroom, “That’s just married life, Felix. Trying to put the other person before yourself,” you glanced at him, the gaze in your eyes shifting into something more mischievous as you opened your mouth, “And maybe, you--”

“Nope! Not happening!” Felix interrupted you cheerfully, “You and His Majesty have just been on my ass about it, and it’s not happening!”

“Oh, but Lixie,” you laughed with him, taking his arm as you walked down the marble steps, “it’s really not all that bad!”

Felix’s gaze was soft as he gently patted your hand. He’d been assigned to the Kingsguard right around the time you were crowned Queen, and there was a sort of camaraderie that formed between the two of you from trying to navigate the ups and downs of palace life. He was a good confidante, and you very much valued his happiness.

“I’m happy here,” he said gently, looking into your eyes with his bright and genuine ones, “I’m happy looking after people that I care about. And for now, I don’t ever want to lose that.” 

You sighed, a smile gracing your face as you shook your head, “Alright. But if you ever change your mind…”

“You and His Majesty would be the first to know,” Felix promised.

The doors swung open, and the crowd quickly stood at attention as you entered the ballroom. Your gaze hardened ever so slightly, and your posture shifted, taking the persona of the respected queen that you were to the eyes of your people. Before you were a mother, or a wife, you were a symbol, an anchor of virtue.

Even Naeun was on her best behavior as she walked down with Changbin, holding his little pinky as she climbed down the steps. She seemed to sense her own importance, and did her very best not to mess up, making you break character for a moment as you smiled.

Your eyes caught sight of your husband standing near the throne, and his eyes twinkled with adoration when your gazes met. He put down his glass of champagne, quickly gliding through the room to receive you.

“God, he’s whipped for you, Your Majesty,” Felix muttered under his breath, “Does the honeymoon period never end--ow!” A discrete finger jab to the side was enough to shut him up.

Hyunjin’s smile was small and hidden, reserved just for your eyes as you made it to the bottom step, “Don’t you look beautiful, my Queen,” he murmured, chastely kissing the back of your hand before pecking your lips.

“Jinnie, not here,” you scolded lightly, letting him take your hand as Naeun rushed over, the crowd cooing with delight. Naeun had only been present in a handful of engagements before this particular party, and the people were still fully immersed in baby fever, entranced by the little girl.

“Papa!” She jumped at him, your husband bending down and catching her easily.

“Oh, my little petal!” His smile was bright as he held her securely, spinning her around, “Ready for dinner?”

“Mhm!” Naeun nodded, but not before placing a big kiss on her father’s cheek, “Miss you!”

You couldn’t help but giggle, watching as the princess’s actions completely melted the crowed. She was definitely a natural. You remembered what you were like as a three year-old, scared, terrified, and always trying to hide behind your mother’s skirt even as she forced you to be independent. 

Naeun didn’t need that push, and you were grateful.

Hyunjin carried Naeun in one arm and escorted you with the other. Your eyes scanned the room, automatically taking note of certain esteemed guests and nobles. In the edge of the room, you noticed a few council members sitting together at a table, refusing to stand at attention for your entrance. 

"Is everything ready?" You asked as you carefully sat down beside Hyunjin, "The dinner, the entertainment-" 

“It’s all done,” Hyunjin smiled, pecking your lips before he placed Naeun in her chair beside his golden one, making sure she was sitting still, “Nothing to worry about.”

You smiled, grateful that your husband was so accommodating and willing to handle so much of the work while you needed your rest. Gesturing to one of the maids, you waved your hand, requesting her to start ushering the guests to their seats as food was about to be served.

As you continued to observe the room, making sure everything was running smoothly, you felt a gentle hand take yours, rubbing it soothingly.

“I haven’t seen you all day. I missed you,” Hyunjin murmured into your ear, making you blush slightly. Even after all these years, his forwardness always flustered you, made you feel like a giddy young princess rather than an experienced queen.

“Hyunjin, come on...not here,” you whispered back, letting his hand glide to your stomach, hidden from everyone’s view by the table in front of you. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” Hyunjin protested in a playful tone, gently patting your tummy before pulling away and gaining back some of his kingly aura right as the first dishes were served.

The banquet went without much of a hitch, to your relief. The atmosphere was overall genial and it didn’t seem like any of your guests had malicious intentions. Hyunjin, of course, grew a little ruffled when one of the young boys from the envoy’s family, no older than five, asked to dance with Naeun, but you argued that it was rather endearing to see the children stumble around the dance floor.

“Mama, that was really fun!” Naeun reported happily when she was sitting back in her seat, her hair slightly messy from twirling so much, “Want to do it again!”

“Never, not while I’m still alive,” Hyunjin muttered, rubbing his eyes halfheartedly as the memory of his precious little girl dancing with a boy replayed in his head. 

You laughed at the two of them, reaching over to fix Naeun’s hairdo so she didn’t look like an absolute mess for the rest of the evening, “I think your father wouldn’t be very happy with that,” you said teasingly, kissing her forehead just as the crown prince approached your table with a glass of fine wine in his hand.

“Your Majesties,” he spoke respectfully, exuding the perfect mixture of gracefulness and charisma as he bowed, “If I could do the honor of making a toast for the occasion?”

Of course, the request was posed as a question, merely to play to the ego and the pride of the hosts, but a toast was usually not something you could refuse. Doing so meant bad blood, tensions, potential rifts in foreign relations. Besides, the prince didn’t look malicious; you normally had a good sense of intuition about people, and the man standing before you and Hyunjin didn’t raise any red flags.

Hyunjin didn’t seem to sense anything either, and with a courteous smile, he waved his hand in agreement, “The trade deals we’ve made this time around are definitely a reason for celebration,” he said, “Although, I’ll have to drink on behalf of the Queen as well.”

The prince smiled at that, gesturing to one of his servants as they walked towards the table, bringing two gold encrusted wine glasses towards you, “We would never want to leave Her Majesty out. In consideration of her pregnancy, I’ve brought a specialty drink created from a fruit that is grown only in our country. It is harmless to the body, and said to bring good health and longevity to expecting mothers.”

Gasps and noises of approval filled the air as you tilted your head inquisitively, looking at the wine glass being presented to you. You could feel Hyunjin’s hesitancy, and you studied the prince’s expression carefully, but there really didn’t seem to be anything wrong. There wasn’t any point in making a big fuss over nothing.

Delicately, your fingers wrapped around the glass, picking it up and looking at the orange liquid. Hyunjin watched you carefully before doing the same with his glass, which held red wine like everyone else.

The prince smiled, relief obvious in his posture as he held up his own glass. He obviously had worried that you might reject the gift, thinking that it overstepped boundaries. 

“May our kingdoms stay allies through peace and through strife. To friendship!”

The crowd chorused the sentiment as you merely lifted the glass to your mouth, the liquid just about to touch your lips when you froze.

That scent. You remembered it when your physician had warned you against certain plants that were harmful to your body. As the queen of two nations, you were an obvious target, and there was never any telling with when someone with a cruel heart could slip a poison into your food or water. The scent was almost imperceptible, but you knew it was there.

Someone was trying to poison you, and they chose the most opportune time to do so.

Watching as the prince and your husband both downed their glasses, your brain was working a mile a minute, scrambling for a way out. You could you say outright that there was poison in the glass. That would put both your own staff and your guests in a terrible position. You didn’t have any proof that it was actually the prince who was trying to harm you, and making those accusations would all but tear the alliance apart. 

Your heart must’ve been pounding so loudly that the people around you could hear. You kept your face placidly calm as you decided on your course of action, and very subtly tapped your finger against the wine glass three times, a signal that Changbin had taught you in order to alert the Kingsguard of danger.

Both Changbin and Felix saw your movement, and so did Hyunjin out of the corner of his eye. He turned, his expression slowly morphing into shocked anger, something you had not wanted to happen. Thinking quickly, you pretended to choke, coughing up a storm as you managed to put the glass down.

Felix walked forward and was beside you in an instant, catching on to your actions. He handed you a handkerchief, gently patting your back as Changbin was also by your side, a concerned expression crossing his face as he stood guard.

“Are you alright, Your Majesty?” Felix asked, keeping the attention on you as he discreetly slid the glass to the side, letting Changbin collect it and take it away, ensuring that it was as far away from you as possible.

“Y-yes,” you smiled shakily, pressing the handkerchief against your lips, “Just got startled when the baby kicked.”

The people around you, Hyunjin and Felix, instantly saw through your lie, but knew better than to question your words when everyone’s eyes were on you. You finally glanced at your husband, your anxiety spiking when you saw the way he looked at you, eyes filled with uncontrollable fury. 

Someone had really tried to hurt you, really tried to take his happiness right out from his grasp.

You placed a hand on his, and gave it a warning squeeze, “I’m alright, love, there’s no need to fret,” you cooed, putting on a show of calming him down so that his anger might be taken as anxiety instead.

Hyunjin caught onto your cues, and did his best to control the murderous emotions threatening to bubble out of his chest. Luckily enough, there was another distraction that waddled over, effectively putting the whole situation at rest.

“Mama! Are you alright?” Naeun ran over, her expression overly worried as she stood beside you, her little hands grabbing blindly for you and wanting to be held. As she was watching her Uncle Changbin, she’d panicked when he did, automatically thinking that something bad had happened to her mother.

“Oh, my little one, nothing happened. See?” You comforted her, bringing her hands to your cheeks as you smiled, “Mama is fine.”

“My deepest apologies, Your Majesty!” The prince stammered out as you gently placed Naeun in your lap, giving into her cries to be close to you, “I did not mean to cause you harm. Not in the slightest.”

“And you did not,” you spoke gracefully, a hand lightly squeezing your husband’s leg under the table as you took control of the conversation, sensing that the man was no longer thinking rationally. Hyunjin already suspected the prince as the main culprit, and any words that would leave his mouth from here on would be far from pleasant.

You smiled serenely, looking at the prince, “There was no harm done. Pregnancies are always unpredictable.”

The prince nodded, his expression still anxious as he excused himself and took his seat back with his family. Looking at his frazzled expression, the idea that the person who was looking to poison you was less likely to be him.

“Hyunjin, snap that glare off your face. People are beginning to notice,” you hissed in his ear as people began to dance and mingle now that the dinner part of the banquet was done. Naeun was still in your arms, having fallen asleep. It was far past her normal bed time, after all.

But Hyunjin’s fury was just barely contained, “How can I? Someone tried to hurt you, Y/N. Someone tried to do so right before my very eyes, right under the noses of our Kingsguard,” he spoke under his breath, the cold glint in his eyes growing stronger with every moment. The Hwang Hyunjin of old, the ruthless king that ruled without mercy, was returning, and you needed to stop him quickly.

“Making a ruckus will not serve us any good,” you said softly, continuing to bounce Naeun lightly on your lap.

“He needs to know what happens if he hurts a member of the royal family,” Hyunjin’s glare shifted to the prince, who was dancing with his wife amongst the crowd.

“It isn’t him, Hyunjin,” you took his hand, lacing your fingers together, “I’m sure it isn’t.”

“Then who?” He rounded on you, eyes filled with pain and anger as he tried to hide it from nosy onlookers, leaning closer to press a kiss to the crown of your head, “Who would dare hurt the most precious person in my life?”

“I don’t know, Hyunjin. But now isn’t the time to play detective. Let’s get through this party first, alright?” You asked soothingly just as Naeun shifted in your arms, mumbling.

“Papa…”

Hyunjin faltered at that weak cry, and you smiled in relief as you carefully handed Naeun to her father. The king held her in his lap, using her as his anchor. 

"Oh, my little petal," he sighed, letting the girl slump into his chest as she slept soundly, unaware of the turmoil raging through her father's heart. Hyunjin held her close, kissing her hair, and you were able to observe the party absently, letting yourself calm down after a near experience with death.

Who could've done it? The very idea of lacing the queen's drink with poison, and quite possibly starting a war in the process, would scare almost anyone away. It had to be someone with much more to gain from the incident, someone that feels sure enough of their position that they see the act through knowing it could never be traced back to them. 

You sat in relative silence for the rest of the evening, choosing to observe rather than participate as the guests enjoyed the many festivities you'd planned for the evening. One particular man, sitting at the table to your right, who looked suspiciously upset for such a joyous occasion, caught your eye. 

His motives certainly aligned, and he was of high enough status that he probably didn't even have to personally orchestrate any of it to happen. 

Could it be...? There was only one way to quell your suspicions. 

. 

The party ended uneventfully, and soon, many of the guests began to trickle out of the palace gates, ready to retire for the night. One man opted to take a less crowded route back to his estate, cutting through the palace passageways instead of braving the cold and the people. After all, he was no longer in a sociable mood after the events of the night. 

He should've  known it wasn't going to be so easy. The queen was not only royalty, she was an experienced general as well. It shouldn't have been such a surprise that she sniffed out the little surprise so easily. 

Still, even if it was to be expected, it was still a disappointment. If only she wasn't around, things would be so much simpler. He would've been able to further secure his position, maybe even take control of the military. Oh, the possibilities for him were endless if only- 

"General Lee Minho. It's quite late for you to still be here in my palace." 

If only you weren't around to stop him. 

Maintaining his composure, Minto turned around, giving you a perfect bow, "Your Majesty, I didn't mean to impose. I was merely trying to get home-" 

"Why did you do it?" 

Never one to beat around the bush, were you? 

Minho gave you a saccharine smile, his heart still relatively at ease. You had no proof. There was nothing that could connect the act to him. 

"Your Majesty, I don't believe I understand." 

It must've been the wrong thing to say. Your eyebrow raised inquisitively, and you took a step forward, your eyes cold and unwavering. You must've learned a thing or two from your besotted husband.  

"You're a cunning man, General. Our kingdoms profit off your intellect and your strategy," you said, looking straight into his own unflinching gaze.

"In fact, your cunning is the only reason you are still alive." 

The air seemed to grow thinner in an instant, and the pleasantries all but faded from Minho’s expression. You weren't inquiring, you knew it was him. This encounter was merely icing on the cake for you. The general was suddenly aware that the halls were completely empty save for the two of you, and there was not a sound to be heard. Not the sounds of a servant fetching water, or a maid finishing up her errands. Nothing.

Minho pursed his lips, giving you an unreadable gaze, “I wouldn't advise threatening me in your condition,” he commented, eyes falling deliberately to the swell of your stomach.

You couldn't help but smile in amusement at his thinly veiled threat, “I assure you, General, I am perfectly safe.”

“Oh?” Minho raised an eyebrow at your words, “And I suppose one of your two dogs that you call the Kingsguard is hiding just around the corner, waiting for a movement that would put you in danger before cutting me down.”

The silence screamed under the midnight sky, and the candles illuminating the hallway seemed to flicker as your smile turned icy.

“Do you really think I need Felix to intercede in order for me to kill you?”

Your words were barely audible, and could've easily passed as the murmurings of the wind, but for the first time, Minho didn't feel safe. There was something about the glint in your eyes, the way you stood before him like a storm just waiting to tear through him. 

All this time, Minho had not worried about the consequences of his actions. He did not believe that you were in a position to raise a finger at him, especially since the nobles were on his side. You were the former princess of a foreign kingdom, after all. You were the disadvantaged one here. If anything, he was worried what the king might do if his plot was discovered, knowing and having witnessed Hyunjin’s merciless punishments to those that defied him.

But standing before you, alone and without the bravado of his typical entourage, Minho realized. It was you that he should've feared. 

There was not an ounce of humanity, affection, or care in your eyes. The loving queen that had just been cradling her daughter in her arms earlier that night had all but slipped away. Standing before him was a battle-hardened warrior, a woman who had experienced too much suffering to ever go through it again, no matter what it took.

“What do you want from me?” Minho said, his innocent facade fading completely as he finally caved, the hatred seeping into his eyes as he glared at you.

“I want answers, and you will give them to me. If you don't know, which I doubt will be the case, you will direct me to someone who does.”

Minho’s jaw clenched, feeling the growing panic and fury clawing up his chest as he stood before you, with no more cards to play, “Alright.”

“Alright?” You raised an eyebrow, the simplest action laced with an unspoken threat.

“Alright, Your Majesty,” Minho sneered, wanting nothing more than to pull out his hidden blade and run it cleanly through your throat. He knew better though, especially since he was sure Felix had his eyes trained on him, ready to strike.

“Who else is in on this?”

“A few of the lords were vaguely aware that I was plotting something, but they did not actively participate in the act.”

“Were your actions supported?”

Looking down to the side, he muttered, “There were a few people that did not agree on my methods, but still want you removed.”

“Naeun. Is she in danger?” You asked sharply, for the first time, feeling a spike of fear hit you. If there was someone willing to murder your unborn child, you suspected that Naeun would not be safe either.

To your relief, Minho shook his head, “Not that I know of.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. As long as you and your child were relatively safe, you could continue the interrogation more seriously, “You laced my drink with poison, but it was not a large enough dosage to cause death. Why?”

“Your death would effectively sever any alliance between my kingdom and yours,” Minho gritted his teeth as he spoke, as if you were physically pulling out every single word from his mouth, “As much as I despise your kingdom for starting that useless war, I am not arrogant enough to deny that our alliance has benefited both of us greatly.”

“So you wanted my child,” you snarled lowly, your hand unconsciously reaching to touch your stomach as if protecting it, “You wanted me to miscarry.”

Minho smiled, all daggers and fangs as he replied, “If your baby didn't make it, you won't have a male heir. You would most likely have a harder time conceiving, and we'd be able to supply His Majesty with a suitable mistress.”

You stared at Minho, the pieces falling together in your mind as you thought of every moment when the general had tried to undermine you, make your comments less received by actively criticizing them, or scorn you for your status as a foreigner.

“You wanted me to lose favor with Hyunjin,” you concluded, feeling almost disappointed by the turn of events. No matter what kingdom, the power hungry were always the same, tearing down others for their own benefit. Doesn’t the battle for control ever get tiring for them?

Minho barked out a scathing laugh, “Of course I wanted you to lose favor with him. I wanted him to resent you, to hate you, to see you for what you really are, a viper hidden beneath that pretty, pretty face of yours.”

“Why?” You asked, genuinely confused, “Why must you go so far to stop me--to stop him--from being happy?”

“You think he’s happy?” The general scoffed, and against his better judgement, he took a threatening step towards you. The expression on your face barely twitched, but Minho could suddenly feel a murderous aura coming from behind him, and he knew better than to push his luck.

“Do you really think he’s happy?” Minho laughed, “You destroyed him, Your Majesty. You turned him soft. We were going to build the greatest, most ruthless empire the continent has ever known. And suddenly, after he met you, he decided to stop conquering, to take care of his people, to take care of your people after you lost.”

You weren’t expect such a barrage of anger and honesty, but you took the chance while you had it, “And what? You’re upset because you stopped gaining wealth and power in the spades like you used to?”

Minho’s scowl was pure wickedness, and you stared him down, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, “I’m upset because you turned our king into a soft, weak little boy. The plan was to wring you and your people dry, taking all the resources before leaving you to fend for yourself. And, suddenly, after he met you, he wanted to do nothing but protect you, a cowardly, foolish princess that was nothing but her parent’s puppet--”

“Careful,” your voice was soft, its edges laced with poison as your eyes flashed with a silent warning, “You are alive still because I have use for you, but you run your mouth like that again, and I’ll have your tongue cut out before I slit your throat.”

The general realized the seriousness of your words, and his eyes narrowed, “You have use...of me,” he repeated your words, already disliking where this was going. 

“Of course I do. If I didn’t, your body would have already been dumped into the river by now,” you said pleasantly, the serene smile back on your face as you pulled at your lace gloves.

Minho raised an eyebrow, “Do you think you’d be able to get away with that, Your Majesty?”

“Oh, my dear General,” you couldn’t help but laugh, amused by his doubtfulness at your capabilities, “unlike you, I am not in the position where every move I make is another desperate grab for power. I am the Queen. The power stems from me and my husband. And do you think Hyunjin would care about the potential murderer of his unborn child if I told him the truth?”

Minho’s jaw clenched so hard, it was painful. He underestimated you. Hyunjin was not the ruthless one. You were.

Like a snake constricting its prey, knowing there was no hope of escape, you smiled, “You are in no position to threaten me, Lee Minho, and unless you want me to strip you of all of your titles or for me to tell Hyunjin about what has just transpired, I’d keep that snippy mouth of yours shut.”

How pathetic. You knew exactly what he valued in life, and didn’t hesitate in brandishing against him like a sharpened blade. All of Minho's actions were to protect his reputation with the king and to hold onto the power he'd already earned, and you were dangling that prize over his head, ready to rip it away from him at a moment's notice.

“What does Her Majesty require of me?” Minho asked through gritted teeth and a clenched smile.

“Stop with the schemes. I'm sick and tired of them,” you said tiredly, giving him a wary glare, “Stop trying to usurp my power and overthrow my position as Queen. It doesn't matter how many mistresses you want to throw at Hyunjin. He will always love me as I will always love him, and even if that doesn't come to be, he will always have respect for me.”

Minho felt his blood boil as he nodded, “Yes...Your Majesty.”

You didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing you smile, moving straight to the most important term.

“You will instate Naeun as the Crown Princess.”

“Are you insane?” Minho snarled, his anger spiking as he spat at you, “The people who supported me in ruling against her will think I've gone mad.”

“Maybe you should've thought twice before deciding on your vote then,” you smiled placidly as you took a step closer towards him.

“You will instate Naeun as the Crown Princess, no conditions, no what ifs. She is the heir. Understood?”

As he gazed into your eyes, each order you have laced with power and unspeakable threat, Minho saw himself in the reflection of your sharp stare. To you, he was nothing but a mere doll for you to manipulate to your own will, a being that could just as easily be discarded as it can be replaced. 

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Minho said again, the hatred in his tone more than apparent.

“I expect the good news to be placed on Hyunjin’s desk tomorrow morning.”

Without another word, another acknowledge or even goodbye, you turned around, walking down the hall and leaving Minho to wallow in his own failure, leaving him to forever berate himself for the missteps he made, the miscalculations that had now put his entire career into the hands of the person he despised most in the kingdom.

“Sounded like things were going well, Your Majesty,” Felix commented nonchalantly as you passed him, the young guard having positioned himself in the adjacent hallway, waiting for any inkling of danger to jump in and protect you. You didn’t fail to notice the way he twirled his knife before slipping it back into its sheathe, obviously having pulled it out when Minho had made a poorly concealed threat regarding your condition.

“Yes, it seems like some good has come out of this ridiculous farce,” you sighed, placing your hand gently over your tummy as you felt the slightest kick against your side. With that conversation, you could only hope that the worst of the nobles’ spite towards you and your blood would soon be over. 

Felix eyed you carefully in the silent walk back to the Royal Chambers, noting both your emotional and physical state, “Are you going to keep this from His Majesty?” He asked, afraid of overstepping his boundaries by prodding too much.

“Eventually, the truth will come out whether I want it to or not,” you said as you entered the private section of the palace, exhaustion laced in your words. Truthfully, if Minho had decided to call your bluff and attacked you earlier, it wouldn’t have been as easy as you’d made him believe it to be. You had your reputation as a powerful general back when you were a princess to thank for how successful your negotiations went.

“Still, I think I’ll keep it a secret...just for tonight,” you confided to Felix tiredly, turning to him with a weary smile, “He’s worried enough already, especially after earlier.”

Felix nodded, and you didn’t need to ask additionally to ensure secrecy. Felix was good about those things. He was a good confidante, and once again, you felt immensely grateful for his presence. 

He gave you a bow, practiced ease and gracefulness exuding from even the simplest of movements as he spoke softly, “Take care of yourself, Your Majesty.”

You couldn’t help but smile, reaching over and gently patting his head, a silent gesture of praise for the young knight who’d done so much for you, “I promise. Now go get some sleep. It’s quite late.”

Felix excused himself politely, and you took a deep breath, heading to the bedroom where your lover was probably waiting anxiously for your return.

.

As you’d expected, Hyunjin was almost beside himself when you walked into the room, his hands freezing from where they were pulling at the roots of his dark hair when he gasped, “Y/N, my love!” He rushed towards you, pulling you into his arms and sweeping you into a tight hug.

“Where have you been? I was worried sick! Changbin said that Felix was with you, so I trusted that nothing was wrong, but you were gone for so long and I thought—”

“Shh, my darling,” you cooed, letting his hands touch you fleetingly everywhere he could, your shoulders, your waist, your tummy, anything to let him know that you were once again safe in his arms.

You smiled, cupping his cheeks as you leaned close, “I’m alright. Everything’s alright. I just needed some air after what happened today, so I took a walk in the gardens. Felix was with me every step of the way.”

Hyunjin let out a sigh of both relief and frustration as he held your hand resting on his cheek, looking into your eyes, “Please don’t scare me like that again,” he whispered, “Not after what happened earlier.”

“Nothing happened, Hyunjin,” you said softly, your thumb lightly brushing his face as you comforted him, “I’m here, aren’t I, safe and sound?”

“Things could’ve turned out so much worse,” he pressed a fleeting kiss to your palm as he held your hand, “I had the liquid inspected. At this very moment, you could’ve been unconscious, fighting for your life, our child...gone,” his voice cracked ever so slightly as he palmed your stomach.

“But it didn’t happen like that,” you reassured him, eyes widening as you saw his own eyes glistening with unshed tears, “Oh, Hyunjin.”

Reaching forward, you wrapped your arms around his waist, burrowing in his chest as Hyunjin easily fell into your embrace, burying his face in your hair as he hugged you tightly. The room filled with the comfortable silence, and your conversation continued without the need for words.

I love you. I want you to be safe. Please don’t do anything dangerous. It was all translated through your touch and the warmth you gained from one another.

Hyunjin’s hugs were warm. They felt like hot chocolate on a cold winter day, like a summer breeze that swept you away. You felt safe just being in his arms, and soon, you let out a quiet yawn, nuzzling into his chest.

“Let me coddle you tonight,” he murmured, sensing you slumping forward in his chest as his fingers lightly massaged your scalp, “I know you don’t like it very much, but just for tonight, can I please take care of you?”

You couldn’t help but smile at his request. As much as Hyunjin liked to be cared for, by you in particular, his favorite hobby was to spoil you in any capacity that he knew how. He loved to lavish you with gifts, shower you with love, and to do every little thing to make you comfortable. You weren’t the person that liked to take advantage of this little trait of his, since you were never one for lavish gift giving nor were you ever given such attention before, but seeing how earnest he was, you decided to compromise, especially after all the worrying Hyunjin had probably gone through just waiting for you to return. 

“Of course,” you nodded, pressing a kiss to his lips, “Let’s get ready for bed.”

Hyunjin was carefully meticulous as he  undid the corset of your party dress, pulled out the pins that held your hair up, and delicately slipped the silk nightgown over your form, all the while trailing kisses wherever he could. You did the same for him, helping him out of his uniform as your lips connected with his.

“I was thinking,” you mumbled absently as Hyunjin kissed you with abandon, his hands nimbly undoing the braids in your hair, “We should go away, just us and Naeun.”

“Oh? Do tell me more,” Hyunjin replied with a soft smile, his lips trailing down to your jaw as you tried your hardest to remember what you were trying to say. What a little brat he was being.

You sucked in a gasp as you rolled your eyes, amused by his antics, “Let’s spend a week at the summer estate. Naeun needs space to run around, and both of us need a breather from our royal duties. You especially.”

Hyunjin groaned at your words, “You’re definitely right about that. But can we afford to leave, with all the chaos going around?” He asked, as he began to usher you to the bed, his arms looping around your legs as he ultimately decided to just carry you.

“H-hyunjin!” You squeaked, surprised by the sudden action as your arms wrapped around his neck. Your husband paid you no mind, carrying you to the bed before placing you down delicately. His eyes met yours and you touched his face, “I’m sure we can make time. We can delegate some of the less important work to some of the council members. If not, we can just work extra hard after to make up for lost time. We all need a break.”

“Your wish is my command, my Queen,” Hyunjin leaned forward, pecking your lips before walking around to crawl under the covers from his side of the bed, “I’ll start planning the details of the trip tomorrow. Deal?”

“Deal,” you smiled, snuggling into the covers and scooting closer to your husband as his hand absently shifted to rest on your tummy.

“It would be good for this little one, too. Just to experience what life outside this stuffy palace is like,” Hyunjin mumbled, his eyes already closing. He was no doubt exhausted from hosting the party and all the preparations before hand.

You felt your cheeks heat up as you giggled. Hyunjin always had a way of bringing the conversation back to the baby, “Yes, it'll be good for them, too,” you agreed softly as your eyes began to close as well. The day had been far too eventful for your liking, and you'd like at least one full night of rest before having to tell Hyunjin about your conversation with Minho.

Suddenly, your ears perked up at the sound of the bedroom door creaking open ever so slightly. Hyunjin reacted instantly, pulling you close as he sat up to see who had come in.

“Papa…? Mama…?”

Naeun’s sleepy voice was soft and almost inaudible, but Hyunjin let out a sigh, relaxing as he could make out the little figure of his daughter standing at the door.

“Naeun, what’s wrong?” He asked gently, beckoning her over to his side of the bed, “It’s way past your bedtime.”

“I-i—” The little girl rubbed her heavy eyes as she waddled over to her father as she began to whimper, “I had a bad dweam, P-papa.”

Hyunjin’s heart and yours simultaneously melted as a silent agreement passed between the two of you. The priority was no longer to get a good night's sleep; it was your daughter’s comfort.

“Oh, petal. Was it scary?” Hyunjin cooed, reaching down and easily picking her up, settling her in the large bed. He placed her right in the middle, and you rolled over to your side so you could gently wipe her tears.

Naeun nodded at his words, her lips curled in a trembling pout, “Scawy. C-couldn’t find Mama—a-and people saying that Papa was gone…” Her lip quivered again and she began to cry just from remembering the awful images that passed through her head.

“Shh, shh. Oh, dear,” Hyunjin quickly grabbed a spare handkerchief on the night stand beside his bed as you sat up, murmuring comforting words as you cupped Naeun's cheeks gently. 

“Naeun, my little princess,” you said softly, looking into her sparkling eyes as large crocodile tears rolled down her cheeks, “Mama and Papa are right here. We'll always be here for you, alright? No matter what happens, your Mama and Papa would never, ever abandon you like that.”

The little girl sniffled as Hyunjin wiped away her tears, smiling fondly, “Your mother said it best, petal. No matter what, we'll be here to support you, protect you, and love you until you've grown sick of our coddling.” 

Hyunjin couldn't help but add in a little teasing, booping her nose as he said, “Even after you grow sick of us, we'll still stick annoyingly close.”

Naeun scrunched her nose as she always did when hyunjin messed with her, and she frowned, “I won't ever get sick of Papa and Mama. Never!”

“Oh, one day, you'll take those words back,” you added playfully as you tickled Naeun's little tummy, making her squeal with delight and effectively drawing the nightmare out of her immediate thoughts. Hyunjin joined in, tag teaming your poor daughter until she was too exhausted to keep her eyes open. 

"Love Papa... Love Mama," Naeun mumbled sleepily as she curled into the warm blankets, beginning to fall asleep. You smiled at her words, pressing a kiss to her hair. 

"Mama and Papa love you more than anything else in the whole world," you reassured her, brushing the stray hairs out of her face, "Get some sleep, little one.  Nothing can hurt you here." 

Naeun mumbled in acknowledgment, and her little hands wrapped around Hyunjin’s pinky, making her father’s heart positively melt, “Papa...sing.”

“Sing?” He repeated, slightly flustered as he shifted to a more comfortable position, making sure that Naeun was still able to hold onto his pinky. 

“Mhm, Papa sing,” Naeun nodded as she curled up into a little ball, bringing Hyunjin's hand to her chest as she began to doze off on her own.

You couldn't help but giggle as you burrowed into the covers as well, wrapping a gentle around your daughter as you smiled up at Hyunjin, “Won't you honor a princess’s request?” You teased.

Hyunjin pouted at you, scrunching his nose much like how Naeun had done only minutes before, “But I'm the king,” he said petulantly, making Naeun giggle at his antics, “I can do whatever I want!”

“Well, your Queen is now requesting a song as well,” you said with an air of playful haughtiness as Naeun and you shared a conspiratorial glance.

“Oh dear,” Hyunjin ran a hand through his hair, “then, I believe I don't have a choice if my Queen and my Princess so insist.”

“You don't!” Naeun chirped in, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

Hyunjin let out a dramatic sigh before propping himself up against the headboard and pulling Naeun into his chest so she could rest comfortably in his arms. He didn't forget you, of course, and laced his fingers with yours as you decided not to move around as much, resting on your side of the bed as you held his hand.

The sound of soft-spoken singing wafted into your ears like a gentle breeze. Hyunjin, albeit not a professional in any way, always had a nice voice. It was the kind of voice that could lull you into relaxation, the kind of voice that soothed your unsettled heart. Before long, your eyes grew too heavy to keep open, and you drifted off to sleep with your hand wrapped around Hyunjin’s.

Hyunjin gazed down at his family as he slowly stopped singing, noticing that the two of you had fallen asleep. Without the prying eyes of the world boring down on him, he could finally drop his guard and his cold exterior to fully admire the two people he loved, the little girl in his arms that he treasured so dearly and you, the love of his life that showed him what it truly meant to have a soulmate, a person to confide in wholeheartedly. 

It was his little personal heaven, just to see the two of you sleeping safe and sound, to lie in bed with both his daughter and his wife just at arm's reach. He savored it as much as he could, squeezing your hand once more before putting down himself, pulling the warm covers higher over Naeun to keep her healthy. And not for the first time, Hyunjin wistfully dreamed of a life where he was not the king, where he could be a simple man, only tasked to provide and love his family. 

Hyunjin knew he would be asking for too much. He knew what the two of you had promised to those that had put their faith in your hands. You'd promised to protect them, to wear the crown and carry the burdens of your kingdom, no matter how bruised, bloodied or battered the journey made you. 

But as he stared down at your peaceful expression, your lips slightly parted and your eyes fluttered shut, he couldn't help but remember the terror he felt just hours before, the all consuming fear that you would disappear from his life. And for the first time, Hyunjin was at a loss, facing a crossroad that—in the naivety of his youth—he never thought he’d encounter.

If he had to choose between you or his country, what would he do? If he had to protect the integrity of his kingdom and sacrifice Naeun, would he be able to do it? Before you came along, Hyunjin cared about nothing but his work, his duty. But now, he had a family that he'd do anything to protect.

At the party, Hyunjin felt anger like he'd never felt before in his life. It was more than fury, it was pure rage. He would've been willing to lock the doors and interrogate every single person present in the banquet hall if you hadn't calmed him down. He didn't want to become a king like that, he didn't want to become a ruler than put his own needs and his family’s needs before everything else. 

But if he lost you, if he lost Naeun, if he lost his unborn child, his whole world would shatter. It was almost terrifying how much the past five years had changed him. 

“Hyunjin,” his eyes flew open as he suddenly felt your thumb brush against the back of your hand. Turning his head, he realized that you had woken up, your eyes gazing at him with a mixture of sympathy and love that Hyunjin wanted to drown in.

“You're thinking too much again,” you murmured sleepily, playing absently with his fingers without jostling Naeun, “At this point, you'll have wrinkles before you're even middle aged.”

The king couldn't help but chuckle at your little quip, pressing a kiss to your hand, “I'm sorry, my love. Did I wake you?”

“No, I woke up on my own,” you reassured him, “But I'm glad I did. What's wrong, darling?”

Hyunjin bit his lip, hesitating for a moment. He shouldn't bother you with his feelings, not when you already had to worry about yourself on top of the baby you were carrying. 

“Hyunjin,” you murmured his name once more, and he felt his body shudder at how sweet, how loving you sounded, “You can tell me anything.” 

It was the only gentle nudge he needed.

“I'm worried about this,” Hyunjin said softly, “Our family. I can't stop worrying. I didn't know about the poison, even though all the food and drinks were inspected. When will it ever be enough?”

You squeezed his hand, “You're putting too much responsibility on yourself. The family’s safety is not your burden to bear alone, it is for us to share.”

Hyunjin nodded, “I know,” he sighed, running a hand through his midnight hair, “I know, Y/N. But I just wish I could do more.”

“You do more than enough for us, darling,” you reassured him, “You do more than any king would do for their families. It's alright, Hyunjin. You're doing so well.”

“I am?” Hyunjin sucked in a breath, placing your hand on his cheek as he closed his eyes, revelling in your words and your presence. 

“You are.”

These were not honey coated words to soothe a monarch and appease his temper. You meant them more than you could ever express. You knew Hyunjin was trying his best. You knew Hyunjin was most likely protecting you from forces that you weren't even aware of, just like the way you'd dealt with Minho just earlier. 

“I found out who did it, by the way,” you mumbled, figuring that this felt like the right time to tell him in hopes that Hyunjin might sleep better knowing that the problem was dealt with.

There was a moment of deathly silence before Hyunjin uttered a single word, "Who?" 

You sighed. Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all, especially since your daughter was soundly sleeping in the space between the both of you, "Promise that you won't do anything rash right now." 

"You're asking me not to do anything rash when I find out who tried to murder my unborn child and harm my wife?" Hyunjin asked in disbelief. 

“I'm asking you not to overreact now while your daughter is sleeping," you hissed back, "I handled it for the time being." 

Hyunjin let out a frustrated sigh, "Alright, you win. You have my word,” he said, lacing his fingers with yours.

You bit your lip, wondering if it would just be easier to be completely honest or to ease into it gently. After a moment of consideration, you decided on the former. 

“It’s Minho.”

Hyunjin reacted without thinking, feeling the rage run through his veins once again as he began to sit up, “That bastard--”

As he shifted aggressively, Naeun whined in her sleep, beginning to squirm. You wrapped your arm around her body as your other hand grabbed Hyunjin’s sleeve, “You promised!”

Hyunjin’s steeled eyes softened as he looked down at the little girl beside him, and he slumped back on the bed, pressed a kiss to her forehead and rubbing her back, helping soothe her back to a deep sleep, “I should’ve gotten rid of him earlier. I knew he disliked your presence, but I thought--I thought he’d be able to see past the differences.”

“As did I,” you admitted, running your fingers gently through Naeun’s hair as her whimpers stopped and slowly went back to soft breaths, “but it seems like he disappointed both of us.” 

The king sighed tiredly, feeling the rest of his fiery hot anger dissipate as he turned to lie on his side, his eyes trained on Naeun as he made sure she was asleep, “You said you handled it. Let me guess, it was when you ‘went for a walk.’” 

“You know me too well,” Flicking his forehead playfully, you couldn’t help but smile, “Yes, we had a quick conversation as I was walking back to the chambers. I don’t believe he will try it again any time soon.”

“I would ask what you told him, but I almost don’t want to know,” Hyunjin said with a hint of a smile as he closed his eyes, “My wife can be very scary when she wants to be.”

You shrugged, stroking his cheek fondly for a moment longer before pulling your hand away and lying back down, “I’m the same as you, Jinnie. Anything to protect this family we’ve created.”

Hyunjin hummed in agreement, his long arm draping over to wrap around both you and Naeun, “Anything. But for now, let’s sleep. Thank you, Y/N.”

“Whatever for?” You asked curiously, unsure of what Hyunjin was thinking about in that little head of his. 

“For being here. For loving me. For everything you do,” he mumbled, already beginning to fall asleep    as his words began to slur. Your heart felt warm and fluttery as you smiled, patting the back of his hand as you mumbled your sleepy reply.

“I’ll always be here for you, Jinnie. You’re not alone anymore.”

Hyunjin cracked a smile at that, and hugged you and Naeun ever so slightly tighter in his arms. You were right. He wasn’t alone anymore. He had you and Naeun, whom he loved with every fiber of his being. He had Changbin and Felix, who were slowly becoming less like guards and more like their surrogate family. 

And for all those reasons, Hwang Hyunjin fell asleep considering himself quite lucky.