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a-lexia11 · 1 month

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Meeting in Barcelona (part 1)

Alexia Putellas x reader

Warning: slow burn but like painfully slow… fluff, tiny angst

Words:Around 9k

Summary: You relocated to Barcelona for a new job as a third-grade teacher. During this time, you met and fell in love with your colleague's sister.

Note: Most of the dialogues are in Spanish because I really wanted to practice it since I feel like I’m losing it so yeah…but don’t worry there translation!

Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

Barcelona is the city where I have always wanted to live. It's truly the city of my dreams. How can you not love a place where it's always warm, the people are welcoming and friendly, and the food is exceptional?

That's why, after living in New York my whole life, I decided to quit my job as a third-grade teacher and pursue my dream of living in Barcelona.

I have always had a deep love for teaching children; it is one of my greatest passions. I truly enjoy imparting my knowledge to these young humans.

That's why I accepted a job as a teacher for third grade children in Barcelona.Living in my dream city and doing my dream job—what more could I ask for?

I've been studying Spanish for some time in preparation for my move. Although Spanish people talk rapidly, I'm managing quite well.

My parents supported my project. Initially, it was a bit tough for them to accept that I was moving out since we're a close-knit family, but in the end, they backed me up.

“Just give me a call once the plane land, okay?" My mom squeezed me so tightly that I could barely breathe. “Sure, Mom, I will” I replied, attempting to break free to hug my dad, who was patiently waiting his turn.

We were currently at the airport, and I was bidding farewell to my parents before departing for Barcelona.The day before, I had already said my goodbyes to my best friends, Madison and Carter, who are also my only friends. It was an emotional day, filled with tears and heartfelt moments.

After my mom finally let go, I turned to my dad. “I'll miss you, butterfly” my dad affectionately said. He always called me that because butterflies are my favorite insects.

“I'll miss you too, Dad” I responded as we separated and he kissed me on my forehead.

“Alright, I'll give you a call once I land. Love you guys” I informed them, grabbing my suitcase handle.

My mom wiped away her tears and said, “We love you too, baby. Take care of yourself.”

“I will” I assured her before making my way towards the boarding gate.

——

As the plane touched down at the airport in Barcelona, a wave of excitement washed over me. Stepping off the aircraft, I was immediately greeted by the warm Mediterranean air and the bustling energy of the terminal. The vibrant city awaited me, with its promise of rich culture, stunning architecture, and delicious cuisine. With a sense of adventure, I collected my luggage and made my way through customs, eager to explore everything Barcelona had to offer.

I decided to take a taxi to my new apartment in downtown Barcelona, time to try out my Spanish, I guess.

“¡Hola! Disculpe, ¿estás disponible?” (Hello! excuse me, are you available?) I asked one of the many yellow taxi drivers waiting in front of the airport.

“Sí, sí, estoy disponible. ¿Necesitas un viaje?” (Yes, yes, I'm available. Do you need a ride?) he asked, already stepping out of the car. “Si,por favor” (Yes, please) I replied, and he helped me with my suitcase, placing it in the trunk.

We got into the car, and I gave him the address of my new apartment. Shortly after, we arrived there. I paid the kind driver and said goodbye to him.

As I headed upstairs, I sent a quick text to my mom, letting her know I had landed and made it to the apartment.

I paused at the door, rummaging through my bag for my keys. After finding them, I unlocked the door and stepped inside, pulling my suitcase behind me. I made a beeline to the couch and collapsed onto it, utterly drained from the seven-hour flight.

A little nap would not hurt anyone I suppose, so I got comfortable on the couch,laying down, and closing my eyes.

After a while, I’m awoken by my phone ringing. I jump a little, startled, and pick up the phone, seeing that it’s my mom calling me.

My mom's voice came through the phone, “I told you to CALL me, not TEXT me.” I laughed a little, “Mom, it's basically the same thing.” “No, it isn't!” she insisted. “Anyway, you finally made it. Is everything alright?” she asked.

“Yeah, Mom, everything's great. The apartment, the weather, the people—everything's just perfect!” I responded cheerfully.

“I'm so happy to hear that, sweetheart” my mom said. “And you know what they say about Barcelona—it’s the city of love and romance. You might just find someone special there” she added excitedly.

“Ugh, Mom, not this again” I replied, feeling slightly exasperated. My mom has this thing about my love life, always eager for me to meet someone.

“What? I'm just saying! Plus, Spanish people are as hot as the weather there” she commented dreamily . I grimaced, “Eww, okay, Mom, I'm going to hang up now. I need to unpack! Love you and Dad! Kisses” I said, making kissing sounds. She echoed my words and hung up.

I wandered through the apartment, well-acquainted with it from my numerous visits. I went to my bedroom, set my suitcase on the bed, and began unpacking.

In the midst of unpacking, my phone rang, and I saw it was a call from the principal of the school where I will be working,Valeria.

"Hola"(hello) I answered the phone. “Hola! Y/N es Valeria” (Hi! Y/N It's Valeria!) she replied. “How are you?” she continued in English.

“I'm doing great, and you?” I asked her.

“Estoy fantástica, gracias. Llamaba para ver cómo estás. ¿Tu viaje fue bueno? ¿Te estás acomodando bien?” (I'm fantastic, thank you. I was calling to check on you. Was your trip good? Are you settling in properly?) she asked.

“Sí, muchas gracias. El viaje fue muy agradable y me estoy acomodando bien.” (Yes, thank you very much. The trip was very pleasant, and I'm settling in well.)

“¡Veo que tu español ha mejorado desde la última vez que hablé contigo! Has estado trabajando duro.” (I see that your Spanish has improved since the last time I talked to you,you’ve been working hard) she said

“Gracias, y sí, he estado estudiando y tratando de mejorar mi acento sin descanso” (thank you and yes I’ve been studying and trying to improve my accent non-stop) I laughed a little.

“That's good, so I'll leave you be. I'll be waiting for you on Monday to introduce you to all your future colleagues and your co-teacher” she said once again in english.

“Okay, no problem. I can't wait. I'll see you on Monday” I answered.

“Yes, I'll see you on Monday. Have a good evening” I echoed her words and hung up the phone.

——

After a while, my stomach started rumbling. I don't have any food right now, so I'll handle errands tomorrow. I'm too tired to run errands and prepare food.

I made the decision to venture out for some food, and during the taxi ride earlier, I happened to spot a charming little restaurant that caught my eye.

Being my first night here, I wanted to try something authentically Spanish, like paella.

So, I took a quick shower, threw on some comfy clothes, and left my apartment.

After wandering around and getting lost twice, I finally made it to the restaurant.

The moment I stepped inside, I was struck by the cozy, rustic atmosphere created by the wooden tables and colorful tiles. The lanterns hanging from the ceiling cast a warm glow, while the delicious scent of paella and tapas filled the air. Vibrant flamenco posters and traditional pottery decorated the walls, adding to the place's charm.

The restaurant was bustling with activity, creating a lively and vibrant atmosphere that filled the entire space with an infectious energy. Diners chatted animatedly at their tables, the clinking of cutlery and the hum of conversation blending into a harmonious background noise. The warm lighting and the aroma of delicious food added to the inviting ambiance.

A kind waitress greeted me warmly and escorted me to a table, assuring me that she would return shortly with the menus.

While I was busy taking in the ambiance of the restaurant, the door swung open. At that moment, I saw the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. Her presence was captivating, and I couldn't help but be mesmerized by her beauty.

She stood tall, around 5'8" or 5'9", with dyed blonde hair. Her hazel eyes and adorable smile were captivating. She wore a long denim skirt with a side slit, paired with a white crop top and a small leather jacket. Large hoop earrings completed her look.

She was accompanied by a shorter, older blonde woman who bore a striking resemblance to her. I assumed she must be her mother.

The same waitress who had greeted me now welcomed them with a warm smile and guided them to their table, which happened to be quite close to mine. As they walked in my direction, I could feel my heart race a little.

Not wanting to appear like a creepy person staring at the woman, I quickly averted my gaze and pretended to be deeply interested in the cutlery in front of me.

The waitress guided them to the table right next to mine, ensuring they were comfortably seated. She informed them with a warm smile that she would return shortly with their menus.

About a minute later, the waitress returned with menus for both my table and theirs, placing them in front of us with a friendly smile. She instructed me to give her a signal once I had decided what I wanted to order.

I thanked her and opened my menu, eager to see what the restaurant had to offer. The variety of dishes was impressive, with many options that made my mouth water. After carefully considering all the tempting choices, I finally decided to go with the classic traditional paella, a dish I had always enjoyed.

I saw the waitress and, as she had instructed, I signaled for her to come over. She approached and asked, “¿Ya sabes lo que vas a pedir?” (Are you ready to order?).

“Sí, ¿podría tener la paella, por favor?” (Yes, could I have the paella, please?) while looking up at her.

“Claro, ¿y qué te gustaría beber?” (Certainly, and what would you like to drink?) she inquired, writing down my order in her notebook.

“Solo agua, por favor.” (Just water, please) I replied.

“No hay problema, estará listo en breve.” (No problem, it will be ready shortly) she said, collecting the menus and giving me a friendly smile as she walked away.

I could sense someone’s gaze fixed on me, so I instinctively turned my head and found myself locking eyes with the beautiful woman sitting to the table next to me.

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and she responded with a gentle smile before returning her attention to the menus in front of her. In that brief moment, my mind wandered, fantasizing about what our future children might look like. Yes,Yes you can call me delusional.

A few moments later, the waitress returned, carrying my steaming paella and a carafe of water. She carefully placed them on the table in front of me and, with a warm smile, said, “Buen provecho” (Enjoy your meal) I thanked her and she walker away.

As I take my first bite of the beautifully presented paella, I can't help but let out an internal moan of delight.It's undoubtedly the best paella I've ever tasted.

As I continued to eat and occasionally stole glances at the woman beside me, a man came over to my table. His hands gripped the chair in front of me tightly.

“Hola, aquest seient està ocupat? Puc agafar aquesta cadira?” (Hi is this seat taken, can I take that chair?) He asks, in what I assume is Catalan.

Well shit, I don’t understand Catalan.

“Umm… what?” Out of instinct I started to speak english “I…lo siento pero no entiendo” (I…I’m sorry but I don’t understand) I continued.

Before he could repeat himself, the woman at the table next to me, speaking with a distinct Spanish accent, kindly interjected, “He want to know if he can take the chair.”

“Oh,si,puedes tomarlo” (Oh, yes, you can take it) I said looking back at him. He smiled gently at me, took the chair, and walked away. I then turned to the two women at the next table.

Looking at the woman who had helped me, I said, “muchas gracias” (thank you very much) with a grateful smile. She nodded in acknowledgment and smiled back at me.

“Eres inglesa?” (Are you English?) the other women, who I assumed is her mother, asked me “Soy estadounidense” (I’m American) I answered.

She smiled at me and said “Te escuché hablando con la camarera, tu español es muy bueno. ¿Vives aquí?” (I heard you speaking with the waitress, your Spanish is very good! Do you live here?) she continues.

“ Gracias y sí, me mudé aquí oficialmente hoy” (thank you and yes,I officially moved here today) I told her with a big smile.

“Bienvenida a Barcelona” (welcome to Barcelona) she said smiling warmly at me.

“Muchas gracias” (Thank you very much) I told her looking at her, I then turned to the other women who was looking at me with a shy smile, I smiled back and went back to my paella.

——

After finishing my paella, I asked the waitress for the bill. She brought it over, I paid, and then stood up. As I was leaving, I smiled at the two women nearby and said, "Have a good evening." They smiled back and echoed my words in Spanish.

As I’m walking out of the restaurant, I can't help but steal one last glance at the beautiful woman, hoping to catch a final glimpse of her captivating beauty before leaving and probably never seeing her again.

To my surprise, she was already looking at me. Our eyes met, and I couldn't help but smile. I waved goodbye, and she mirrored my gesture with a warm smile of her own.

Once I got back to my apartment, I quickly changed into my pajamas and headed straight to bed. Exhausted and ready to sleep, I put my phone on charge and lay down. I couldn't help but think about the woman at the restaurant. She was incredibly beautiful and had such charisma and presence. With thoughts of her lingering in my mind, I eventually drifted off to sleep.

The following day, being a Sunday, I decided it was the perfect time to run some errands. I needed to stock up on food, so I took a shower, had breakfast, and left the apartment.

One of the perks of living where I do is that everything is within walking distance. Luckily, the store is not too far away.

Once I got there, I started picking up my groceries. After spending over 45 minutes shopping, I was finally done. I walked back to my apartment and began putting everything away.

The rest of the day was quite laid-back; I spent my time watching TV and having conversations with my parents and Madison over the phone.

Eventually, I grew restless and decided to take a walk.Locking my apartment door, I ventured out into the bustling streets of Barcelona. After wandering for a bit, I stumbled upon a charming park. I decided to enter and found a cozy spot on one of the benches, where I could sit and enjoy watching people play with their dogs and children.

Suddenly, a small, fluffy dog appeared in front of me and began barking. It was the cutest dog I had ever seen. I knelt down in front of it and said, "Hi there! How are you?" in a playful tone, not really expecting a response. The dog started jumping up and down, licking my face. I giggled and stroked its soft fur.

"Nala! Nala!" I heard a woman's voice calling out for the dog. As she came into view, I was stunned—it was the beautiful woman I had seen at the restaurant yesterday. I could hardly believe my eyes.

The woman approached and carefully picked up her dog. “Lo siento mucho” (I’m so sorry), she said, looking down at the dog in her arms. "Está bien, no te preocupes" (It’s okay, don’t worry), I replied. She looked up and gave me a gentle smile, and from the expression on her face, I could tell she recognized me.

At that moment, I noticed the height difference between us. Standing at 5'4, I wasn't very tall. She was dressed in a Barcelona tracksuit, her blonde hair flowing freely, and her sunglasses resting atop her head.

"Your dog is very cute," I said to her in English. Since she had translated for me what the man said in English yesterday, I assumed she speaks the language. And maybe, I also just wanted to hear her charming accent when she spoke English. There was something captivating about the way her words flowed, and I couldn't help but be drawn to it.

“Ah, thank you she really is but she also like to not listen to me” she said in a broken english. I giggled a little at her remark.

“Can I pet her” I said gesturing to the dog in her arms, “yes of course” she responded. As I start caressing her dog I could feel her gaze on me,I look back up at her and smile softly which she returned.

"The paella was good?" she asked suddenly. I was so mesmerized by her eyes that I didn't register her question. "Huh?" I responded, feeling a bit foolish. "The paella you had yesterday, was it good?" she repeated, sounding a bit awkward and shy.

"Absolutely, it was absolutely delicious! The most exquisite paella I've ever tasted," I expressed with a wide smile directed at her.

“My name is Y/N by the way" I introduced myself, extending my hands for a handshake. Her hands, large and soft, gently enclosed mine as she replied, "I'm -."She got interrupted by her phone ringing “oh! Un momento,lo siento” (just a moment,I’m sorry) she said as she reached for her phone.

I stepped back to give her some privacy. She quickly ended the call and turned back to me, saying, “It was nice meeting you, but I have to go now. My sister is waiting for me.” I nodded understandingly and replied, “Oh, it's okay, really. It was nice meeting you too.”

She flashed me a warm smile before turning to walk away. As she moved further down the path, she turned around once more, catching my eye. She sent another smile over her shoulder and waved at me, making my heart skip a beat as I watched her retreating figure disappear into the distance.

Shit! She never told me what her name was…

After about ten minutes, I made the decision to head back home. It was getting late, and my stomach was starting to grumble with hunger.

When I arrived back at my apartment, I decided to whip up a quick meal of ramen noodles. I settled down in front of the TV, enjoying my dinner. As the clock approached 10 pm, I realized it was time to get some rest. Tomorrow marked the beginning of my new job, and I was pretty exited about it.

I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth, preparing for bed. After plugging in my phone to charge and settling an alarm, I lay down, my mind still occupied with thoughts of that woman.I still can’t believe that I did not get her name.I found myself drifting off to sleep thinking once again about her.

——

I woke up to my alarm blaring and let out a groan. I rolled over, blindly reaching for my phone to shut it off.

After rubbing my eyes, I dragged myself to the bathroom for a quick shower. I tie my hair up in a ponytail and picked out a casual outfit.

I headed to the kitchen to whip up a simple breakfast. Once I was done eating, I grabbed my stuff and headed out.

The school where I was starting my new job was pretty close by. A short bus ride later, I found myself standing in front of the building, ready to take on the day.

I made my way toward the entrance of the building and stepped inside. The secretary greeted me with a friendly “Hola” as I entered.

“Hola, soy Y/N, la nueva profesora. Tengo una cita con Valeria.” (Hello, I’m Y/N, the new teacher. I have an appointment with Valeria) I informed her.

She smiled warmly and responded, “ Ah sí, Y/N, te estábamos esperando. Solo un momento, le avisaré a Valeria de tu llegada” (Ah yes, Y/N, we were expecting you. Just one moment, I'll notify Valeria of your arrival) I thanked her, and she got up and walked away.

"Good morning, Y/N," I heard from behind me, and I turned to see Valeria approaching with a wide smile on her face. "How are you?" she said in English, kissing both my cheeks.

Valeria is such a sweet and welcoming person. I've had the pleasure of meeting her numerous times, both in person and over video calls, to ensure I was well-prepared for my new job. Our conversations often lasted for hours, and through these interactions, we became quite close, almost like friends. Her warmth and friendliness have made this transition much easier for me.

“Hi Valeria, I'm great, thank you! How about you?”I asked her. “I'm amazing. Let's go talk in my office” she replied. I nodded in agreement and followed her, taking a moment to thank the lady at the entrance as well.

“So, how was your first weekend in Barcelona?”she inquired as we stepped into her office, her thick Spanish accent unmistakable. “It was wonderful! I went out and had the most amazing paella ever” I responded enthusiastically. She laughed and said, “I'm sure you did.”

I took a seat in front of her desk. “Alright, let's get down to business” she said. “The children are excited about the arrival of their new teacher, and your co-teacher is also eager to meet you”she informed me.

“I'm looking forward to meeting them as well”I replied. As we continued our discussion about my upcoming responsibilities, a knock on the door interrupted us.

“Entra” (Come in) Valeria shouted. The door swung open, and a woman about my height, with long, flowing brown hair, stepped into the office.

“Hola” the woman greeted us, and I responded with a smile. “Ah, Alba, estás aquí. Me gustaría presentarte a Y/N.” (Ah, Alba, you're here. I would like you to meet Y/N) Valeria said as Alba approached me. I stood up from my chair and extended my hand for a handshake.

“Encantada de conocerte, soy Y/N Y/L” (Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N Y/L/N) I introduced myself warmly. She took my hand and offered a radiant smile.

“"Es un placer conocerte, Y/N. Soy Alba Putellas."(It's a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. I'm Alba Putellas)

We released our handshake and both took our seats again, facing Valeria. Valeria began to outline how we would collaborate in the classroom with the children. She provided detailed guidance on our roles and responsibilities, and offered valuable advice on effective co-teaching strategies.

——

After approximately an hour of reviewing all the necessary information, it was time for the children to start school. “Vale, entonces, te dejaré ahora, Alba. Te permitiré guiar y explicar a Y/N cómo funciona todo aquí.” (okay so, I’ll let you go now, Alba I’ll let your guide and explained to Y/N how everything works here) she said looking at Alba, she smiled at me and answered “por supuesto!” (of course).

We both stood up. Valeria then wished me well in english, “Y/N, good luck on your first day, and I’ll see you at the end of the day.” I nodded, expressing my gratitude, and said my goodbyes to her before heading out with Alba.

Throughout the entire day, Alba has been incredibly helpful and understanding. She assisted me whenever I needed help and translated for me whenever I couldn't understand a child.

We shared lunch together and discovered that we have a lot in common. Not only are we almost the same age—I’m just a year older—but we also enjoy the same activities. We both have a passion for shopping and listening to music, among many other interests.

I can already tell that we are going to become amazing friends.

The children were absolutely adorable and exhibited a remarkable level of patience, which is quite unusual for kids. I suppose it might be a trait in the Spanish genes.

At the end of the day, the parents came to pick up their kids from the classroom. Alba and I stayed behind to tidy up.

"Tía ¿Qué haces esta noche? (Girl, what are you doing tonight?) Alba asked as she bent down to pick up some papers and threw them in the trash.

“Nada” (Nothing) I replied.

“¿Quieres cenar juntas? Hay un nuevo restaurante de sushi que acaba de abrir, y quiero ir alli.” (Want to grab dinner? There's a new sushi restaurant that just opened, and I've been wanting to check it out)

“¡Amo el sushi! ¡Me encantaría ir!" (Oh, I love sushi! I'd love to!) I responded with enthusiasm.

Suddenly, Valeria appeared at the door. “Hola chicas!” (Hello, girls) she greeted us, and we returned the greeting. She turned to me, “I just came here quickly to ask you how was your first day?” She asked in english.

“It went really well. Alba was super helpful, and the kids were adorable. Everything went smoothly” I answered.

“I'm happy to hear that, now I’m sorry but I have a lot of meetings so I have to go” Valeria said. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Adios, chicas!” We echoed her words as she left the room.

Once Alba and I finished we gathered our things and exited the school.

“¿Dónde estás estacionado?”(Where are you parked?) She asked me , “No tengo coche todavía, tomé el autobús para venir aquí.” (I don’t have a car yet, I took the bus to come here) I answered.

“¡Oh, ven conmigo entonces, puedo llevarte a casa!” (Oh,come with me then I can give you a ride home) she told me “¡Oh, no quiero molestarte! Está bien, de verdad, puedo tomar el autobús.” (oh no I don’t want to bother you it’s okay really I can take the bus)

“¡No, no, no! No voy a dejar que mi futuro mejora amiga y colega favorita tome el autobús. Vamos, te llevaré a casa, no me importa en absoluto.” (No,no,no I’m not going to let my future best friends and favorite colleague take the bus, come on I’ll drop you home I don’t mind at all)

I was hesitant at first, but eventually, I nodded in agreement. Together, we walked towards her car. She unlocked it, and we both got inside, ready to head home.

“A ver, dame tu dirección” (Okay,give me your address) I gave it to her “¡Qué casualidad! ¡Yo también vivo cerca de ahí, a solo cinco minutos! (What a coincidence! I live near there, like 5 minutes away) she exclaimed happily.

“¿En serio? ¡Eso es el destino! Estábamos destinados a conocernos y convertirnos en casi vecinos” (Really? That’s faith! We were meant to meet each other and became almost neighbors) I joked and, she giggled.

After a short drive filled with Karol G’s music we finally arrive in front of my apartment.

“Te recogeré alrededor de las 9, ¿está bien para ti?” (I will pick you up around 9, is it okay with you?) She asked.

“Sí, está bien, ¡gracias por el viaje!” (Yeah that’s fine, thank you for the drive!) I responded as I exit the car. “¡No hay problema, nos vemos esta noche!” (No problem, see you tonight!) She says excitedly and drove away.

I made my way up to my apartment and decided to get some work done in preparation for tomorrow's class.

——

After about an hour of hard work, my parents called me. They were eager to hear about how my first day of school went and if I had managed to make any new friends, almost as if I were the student rather than the teacher.

I shared everything with them, telling them about Valeria and Alba, and how I was planning to go out with Alba tonight. “Wow! Not even a week in Barcelona and you've already managed to get a date! Good job, butterfly” my dad exclaimed enthusiastically.

“ Dad, no, it's not like that at all! She's just a friend and a colleague. It's not professional” I tried to clarify.

“Sure, honey... just a friend” my mom said with a suspicious tone. “Ugh, you guys are so annoying” I muttered, rolling my eyes at them.

After ending the call, I made my way to the bathroom to freshen up and change into a new outfit.

Alba arrived promptly at 9 o'clock and honked several times to signal her arrival. We really need to exchange phone numbers.

I locked my apartment and made my way to Alba’s car. “Bueno, bueno, cuánto tiempo sin verte, amiga” (Well, well, long time no see, friend) she joked, which made me giggle.

After a brief drive, we arrived at the sushi restaurant. Alba parked the car, and we walked towards the entrance together.

A friendly waitress greeted us at the door, escorted us to our table, and handed us the menus. We placed our orders, and the food arrived fairly quickly, allowing us to dive into our meal without much wait.

“¿Hablas o entiendes al menos un poco de inglés, o tendré que hablarte siempre en español?” (Do you speak or understand at least a little bit of English, or will I always have to speak to you in Spanish?) I joked, trying to lighten the mood. She giggled and replied, “¡Lo siento, pero no, no inglés!” (Sorry, but no, no English!)

Alba then shifted the conversation, “Entonces, cuéntame sobre ti” (So, tell me about yourself) I smiled and asked, “Bueno, ¿qué exactamente quieres saber?” (Well, what exactly do you want to know?)

“Pues, todo, donde vivías, tienes hermanos?…” (Well, everything where do you used to live, do you have any siblings) she’s responded.

I told her that I was born and raised in New York, a city where I have spent my entire life. I mentioned that I do not have any siblings. I also expressed my long-standing dream of living in the vibrant city of Barcelona, a place that has always fascinated me. Additionally, I conveyed my deep passion for teaching.

“¿No tienes novio o novia?” (You don’t have any boyfriend or girlfriend?) She asked teasingly “no, no novio o novia”(no, no boyfriend or girlfriend) I replied.

“Estoy segura de que encontrarás a alguien especial aquí” (Ooh, I have no doubt you'll find someone special here) she exclaimed enthusiastically. “Sí, tal vez” (Yes, maybe) I responded.

“Sabes, tengo bastantes amigos solteros, y mi hermana también está muy soltera”(You know, I have quite a few single friends, and my sister is very much single too) she added with a mischievous grin, wiggling her eyebrows.

I giggled “No, gracias, no me interesan tus amigos ni tu hermana, pero ¿sabes qué? Conocí a una mujer durante mi primer día aquí” (no thank you,I’m not interested in your friends or your sister, but you know what I’ve met a women during my first day here)

Alba's eyes lit up with curiosity “Bueno, cuéntamelo todo. ¿Quién es ella? ¿Cómo la conociste? (Well, tell me everything! Who is she? How did you meet her?) she asked eagerly.

I hesitated, feeling a bit uncertain. “Pues... no lo sé realmente” (Well... I don't really know) I admitted.

Alba's brows knitted together in confusion. “¿Qué quieres decir con que no lo sabes?” (What do you mean you don't know?)

“Quiero decir, no sé quién es ella.” (I mean, I don't know who she is) I explained.

“La vi por primera vez en un restaurante y pensé que era increíblemente hermosa. Luego, al día siguiente, la volví a ver en un parque. Intercambiamos algunas palabras, pero fue muy breve. Así que, sí... no sé su nombre ni nada sobre ella” (I first saw her at a restaurant and thought she was incredibly beautiful. Then, the next day, I happened to see her again at a park. We exchanged a few words, but it was really brief. So, yeah... I don't know her name or anything about her)

Alba smile in amusement “¡No puedo creer que tengas un pequeño “crush” por alguien cuyo nombre ni siquiera conoces!” (I can’t believe that you have a little crush on someone whose name you don’t even know!) She said laughing.

I made a funny face at her, then tossed one of my chopsticks in her direction, and playfully stuck my tongue out at her.

Her phone then rang, “un momento por favor, es mi hermana” (just a moment please, it’s my sister) I nodded at her and continue eating my sushi but I still heard her conversation.

“Que quieres Ale?…si…si..ok no problema…si.. escucha estoy comiendo con mi amiga, te llamaré más tarde,te quiero,adios” (What do you want Ale?..yes…yes..ok no problem..yes..listen I’m eating with my friend right now, I’ll call you back later,I love you,Bye) she said to her sister and hangs up the phone.

“¿Ahora, dónde nos habíamos quedado?” (Now, where were we?) she asked playfully, raising her eyebrow.

——

We spent the rest of the evening getting to know each other better. She shared stories about her mom, Eli, her late father, and her sister, Ale although she did not say much about her.

Eventually, we finished our meal and decided it was time to go home. We got into her car, and she drove us back. Once we arrived at my apartment, we exchanged numbers, and she insisted on picking me up for work the next morning.

I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheeks, asked her to text me once she got home safely, and then stepped out of her car.

I did my night routine and went to bed, scrolling through my phone.I received a text from Alba.

Alba: ¡Estoy en casa a salvo, no te preocupes, nadie me mató!😉

(I’m home safely,don’t worry no one killed me!)

I chuckled at her messages and wished her a good night.

——

I’ve been in Barcelona for a full two weeks now, and to be honest, not much has changed. Alba was kind enough to introduce me to some of her closest friends, who turned out to be really nice and welcoming. It’s been great getting to know them.

However, there’s still no sign of that mysterious woman. I have to admit, I’ve visited the park multiple times over the past two weeks, hoping to see her again, but unfortunately, she hasn’t shown up. I think it might be time to move on and let go of the idea of meeting her again.

On a brighter note, Alba and I have grown much closer. We spend almost all of our free time together, and she’s been coming over to my place nearly every day.

Today, being a Saturday, Alba and I decided to go shopping together. We spent the entire afternoon wandering through various stores, and enjoying each other’s company. I absolutely love spending time with her; she’s genuinely the nicest and sweetest girl I’ve ever met.I feel incredibly fortunate to have such a wonderful friend by my side.

Alba, on the other hand, has been complaining non-stop because I made her walk instead of taking the car. She’s been whining about it all afternoon.

“Si hubiéramos tomado mi coche, ya estaríamos en casa ahora mismo” (If we had taken my car, we would already be home by now) she whined for what felt like the hundredth time.

“¡Caminar es bueno para ti, Alba!” (Walking is good for you, Alba!) I said cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood. She glared at me with a look of pure annoyance and retorted, “No, no lo es. Mis pies me están matando” (No, it’s not. My feet are killing me.)

We finally arrived in front of Alba’s apartment building after a long day. She turned to me and asked, “¿Te gustaría quedarte un rato?Mi hermana va a venir, me gustaría que la conocieras.”(Would you like to stay for a while?My sister is coming over,I’d like you to meet her.) I appreciated her offer but politely declined.

“No, gracias. Tengo mucho trabajo que debe terminarse antes del lunes ¡Conoceré a tu hermana otro día!”(No, thank you. I have a lot of work that needs to be finished before Monday.I’ll meet your sister another day!)

She nodded understandingly and then asked, “Está bien, no hay problema. ¿Te gustaría que te lleve a tu casa?” (Alright, no problem. Would you like me to drive you to your place?)

I smiled and shook my head. “No, no te preocupes. Deja que tus pies cansados descansen” (No, don’t worry about it. Let your tired feet get some rest) I replied reassuringly.

She laughed softly, and we shared a warm hug. She kissed me on both cheeks, and with a final wave, we said our goodbyes and parted ways.

I walked home, and as I got closer to my apartment, I started rummaging through my bag, searching for my keys. Distracted and not paying attention to where I was going, I accidentally bumped into someone dropping all my shopping bags.

“Oh my God! Lo siento mucho!” (I'm so sorry!) I exclaimed, looking up to see who I had collided with.

There she was.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Standing before me was the beautiful woman I had been inexplicably obsessed with for the past two weeks.

“Y/N?” she said, recognizing me instantly. Oh my God, she remembered my name.

“I... hi!” I responded, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. “I'm really sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going.”

“It's okay, do not worry about it” she reassured me with a smile. I took a moment to take in her appearance; she looked amazing. Her hair was down, and she was wearing a white cap, denim jeans, a white long-sleeve shirt, and a sleeveless vest.

I bent down to retrieve my bags, and she kindly assisted me in gathering everything. “Thank you” I said, expressing my gratitude once we had collected all the bags, and she handed them to me.

“You're welcome” she replied with a gentle smile. “You really did a lot of shopping” she added with a soft laugh, and I couldn't help but smile at her comment.

“Yes, I did. My friend definitely influenced me to buy quite a bit” I explained, and she laughed along with me.

“Well, it was really nice seeing you again, Y/N. I have to go now because my little sister is waiting for me” she informed me, her voice tinged with a hint of urgency.

“Oh, okay, sure. Have a wonderful time with your sister then!” I replied, offering her a soft smile. She returned the gesture warmly and began to walk away, her steps light and hurried.

“Wait!” I called out impulsively, unable to let the moment slip away. She turned around, a look of mild confusion etched on her face.

“You know my name, but I don't know yours” I said, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“Ah, si es verdad. Me llamo Alexia” (Ah yeah,that’s true my name is Alexia) she responded, her tone friendly and open.

“Okay, Alexia, that's a beautiful name!” I exclaimed, genuinely appreciating the sound of it. She smiled broadly at the compliment, her eyes sparkling with a hint of amusement.

Boosted by a sudden surge of confidence, I found myself asking, “Can I maybe have your number? You know, so we can stay in touch or maybe become friends...” My voice trailed off, the initial bravado giving way to a touch of nervousness.

She looked at me with a sympathetic expression and gently said, “Umm... I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea” her words kind yet firm, smiling pitifully at me.

A wave of embarrassment washed over me, and I felt my cheeks flush with color. “Oh, it's okay, really... um... have a nice day” I mumbled, not waiting for her response.

I turned and walked away quickly, my heart pounding with a mixture of regret.

——

As I stepped into my apartment, a wave of intense embarrassment washed over me. I couldn't believe I had decided to be confident. Why, oh why, did I think that being bold would lead to anything good? Look where it got me—feeling utterly humiliated and regretful.

I made a solemn vow to myself that I would never, under any circumstances, bring up this humiliating moment again.

To help myself forget, I decided to immerse myself completely in the stack of paperwork that was piled up on my kitchen table. I hoped that by diving into the work I could push those embarrassing memories to the back of my mind and eventually erase them altogether.

——

On Monday, Alba arrived to pick me up for work. At this point, it had become a well-established routine; she would come to get me every morning and ensure I got home safely every evening. This daily ritual had become an integral part of our schedules, making our commutes together a regular and comforting part of my day.

“Estas bien?” (Are you okay?) Alba asked, her eyes filled with concern as she looked at me for a second before turning her eyes back to the road “Has estado muy callado esta mañana” (You've been very quiet this morning) she continued, her voice gentle but probing.

Truthfully, I was not okay. My mind was still preoccupied with the sting of rejection from Alexia last Saturday. It had been a difficult weekend, and my thoughts were consumed by what had happened. Yes, I am an overthinker, and I couldn't help but replay the moment over and over in my head, analyzing every details and wondering what went wrong.

Even though Alba has quickly become one of my closest friends here in Barcelona, I want to move past what happened, so I’d prefer not to share it with her.

“Estoy solo cansada, nada demasiado grave.” (I'm just exhausted, nothing too bad) I said, flashing her a gentle smile in an attempt to put her at ease. She seemed skeptical, but thankfully, she didn’t press for more details.

To comfort me, she placed her hand on my thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Parecía que todos se sentían decaídos” (It seemed like everyone is feeling low) she sighed heavily. “¿Por qué? ¿Qué pasó?” (Why? What happened?) I asked her.

“Mi hermana conoció a esta chica, y aunque no la conoce muy bien, la encontró muy atractiva. Sin embargo, siente que debido a su trabajo, no puede salir con nadie en este momento... así que esencialmente se está impidiendo encontrar el amor.”(My sister encountered this girl, and although she doesn't know her that well, she found her very appealing. However, she feels that because of her job, she can't date anyone right now... so she's essentially stopping herself from finding love) She told me looking kinda sad for her sister

“Eso es realmente desafortunado. ¿Qué tipo de trabajo tiene tu hermana que le impide encontrar el amor?” (That's really unfortunate. What kind of job does your sister have that prevents her from finding love?) I inquired.

“Ella es futbolista profesional, y su agenda está llena de entrenamientos y viajes.” (She's a professional footballer, and her schedule is packed with training and traveling) she explained.

“¡Wow , ¿es futbolista profesional? ¡Eso es increíble! ¡No puedo creer que nunca me lo hayas mencionado antes!” (Wow, she's a professional footballer? That's amazing! I can't believe you never mentioned that before!) I exclaimed, giving her a slightly reproachful look. “Pero es realmente lamentable que ella sienta que no merece amor solo por su carrera tan exigente” (But it's really unfortunate that she feels she doesn't deserve love just because of her demanding career)

“Sí, lo es, pero afortunadamente para ella, tiene a la hermana más increíble que la llevará a salir esta noche y la ayudará a olvidarse de todo eso. ¡Noche de hermanas!” (Yes, it is, but fortunately for her, she has the most amazing sister who will take her out tonight and help her forget all about it. Sister night!) Alba declared proudly.

“¡Sí! La mejor hermana del mundo” (Yes! Best sister ever) I responded with playful sarcasm, matching her enthusiasm.

“Solo estás celosa porque no tienes la oportunidad de tener una hermana como yo” (You're just jealous because you don't get to have a sister like me) she teased, giving me a pinch on the thigh where her hand had been resting.

I laughed, turned up the radio, and started singing along to Lana Del Rey.

——

It’s been a month since I’ve been in Barcelona now, and everything has been absolutely perfect, well, minus the rejection incident from Alexia…

Work has been exceptionally good, and with the generous help of my parents, I was finally able to purchase a car, which has made life so much easier.

Alba and I have grown closer than ever. Our bond is very platonic and sisterly, and she’s been eager for me to meet her family. She especially wants me to meet her sister, with whom she shares a very close relationship, from what I understand.

That's why, at this very moment, I'm seated at a cozy bar with Alba and four of our friends. We're eagerly waiting for her sister to join us, and I'm looking forward to meeting her.

If her sister is even half as nice and amazing as Alba, I'm sure I'm going to absolutely love meeting her. I'm really looking forward to it, especially since Alba has set such a high standard with her wonderful personality.

“Alba,donde está Ale, tengo hambre!” (Alba, where’s Ale? I’m hungry) Bianca, one of Alba’s friends who has also become my friend, asked Alba with a slight whine.

“Acaba de enviarme un mensaje. Su partido duró más de lo esperado y ahora tiene algunas entrevistas que hacer, así que llegará un poco tarde.” (She just texted me. Her match went on longer than expected, and now she has some interviews to do, so she’ll be a bit late) Alba responded, her eyes fixed on her phone as she typed back.

Bianca giggled a little and said, “Ah, no hay descanso para La Reina.” (Ah, no rest for La Reina.)

From what I understand, Alba’s sister is an exceptional football player, which is why she’s called “La Reina.”

Honestly, I haven’t looked up much about her since I find football really boring and I hate it.

“Vale, ¿entonces supongo que podemos pedir algunas bebidas?” (Okay, so I guess we can order some drinks then?) Marco, one of our other friends, asked.

“Sí, vamos a pedir. Ella no estará aquí por un rato” (Yes, let’s just order. She won’t be here for a while) Alba responded.

We all picked up the menus and decided on our drinks and some food too. After a few minutes of discussion and suggestions, we placed our orders with the waiter. The atmosphere was lively as we chatted and laughed, waiting for our orders to arrive.

About thirty minutes later, I got a call from my best friend Madison, which is odd since she usually texts, she doesn't call.

I excused myself from the table and stepped outside where it's quieter.

Answering the phone, I heard a frantic Madison, “Where are you, girl!?”

Confused, I replied, “What do you mean, where am I? I'm in Barcelona. Are you drunk?”

Madison's voice was joined by my other best friend Carter, “No, we're not! We're outside your apartment, but you're not here.”

Shocked, I exclaimed, “WHAT! What do you mean you're outside my apartment? You guys are in Barcelona?!”

Excitedly, Madison confirmed, “Yes, baby, we are!!! We wanted to surprise you, but you're not at your place. Where are you?”

Realizing the situation, I quickly said, “Oh, I'm at a bar with some friends. I'll say goodbye and be there in 10 minutes.”

“Okayyy, we'll wait! Hurry up” Madison replied before hanging up.

I made my way back inside the bar, feeling a mix of emotions.

“¿Está todo bien?” (Is everything alright) Alba asked me, concern evident in her eyes as she saw me returning to the booth where we were all sitting.

“Sí, todo está bien” (Yes, everything is fine) I assured her, “pero tengo que irme” (but I have to leave) I added.

“¡No! ¿Por qué? Ale me envió un mensaje y me dijo que llegará pronto.” (No! Why? Ale texted me she’ll be here soon) she informed me, frowning.

“Lo siento mucho, pero mis amigos acaban de llamarme y están en Barcelona. Fue una sorpresa, y ahora están esperándome frente a mi apartamento.” (I’m really sorry, but my friends just called me and they are in Barcelona. It was a surprise, and now they are waiting for me in front of my apartment) I explained, feeling a little bad.

“¡Está bien, ve a ver a tus amigos! Ya la conocerás otro día.” (That��s okay, go see your friends. You’ll meet her another day) she replied, understanding and supportive.

I went around the table to give each one of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek, saying goodbye.

As I left the bar and made my way through the parking lot to my car, I was so eager to see my friends again that I wasn't paying attention and almost got hit by a car. Luckily, the driver stopped just in time.

I turned towards the car, a black Cupra, and gestured with my hand to apologize to the driver. Although I couldn't see the person clearly, I could tell it was a blonde woman.

She gestured back to let me know it was okay, and I continued on to my car.

After a 10-minute drive, I arrived at my apartment and saw Madison and Carter waiting in front of the building.

"Hey!" I called out, waving excitedly. They looked up, grinned widely, and ran towards me, calling my name repeatedly.

I laughed and met them halfway. We hugged and jumped around, thrilled to see each other after a month.

“Alright, let's head Inside” I suggested as we made our way back to the building.

“How long are you planning on staying ?” I inquired. “Just a quick 3-day visit” Carter responded. I grinned, “I'm so excited you guys are here! I've got so much to tell you”

After they freshened up and changed into more relaxed outfits, I filled them in on my Barcelona adventures, sharing stories about Alba, my friends, work, and life in the city.

“So, any luck in the love department?” Carter teased, wiggling his eyebrows. “Not quite” I confessed, feeling a tad embarrassed, "there was this girl, but she rejected me when I asked for her number."

Madison and Carter exchanged glances before erupting into laughter. I shot them a mock glare, “Not funny, guys” playfully hitting them with a pillow.

“It's funny” they both said simultaneously. I huffed at them and give them the finger.

After their laughter died down, Carter reassured me, “Don't worry, there are plenty of other fish in the sea; you'll find someone else.” Madison chimed in, “Yeah, that girl doesn't know what she's missing.”

“Thanks, guys! I love you” I said, smiling softly at them. “We love you too” they responded, and I jumped on them hugging them tightly.

——

Those three days flew by so quickly, but we had an amazing time nonetheless. They met Alba and her friends, and although the language barrier posed a bit of a challenge, we managed to get by.

Naturally, we went shopping, hit the beach, and enjoyed the nightlife—basically all the fun things you can do in Barcelona.

When it was time to say goodbye, I dropped off Madi and Carter at the airport, giving them tight hugs and receiving their promise that they would visit again soon.

——

“¿Qué vas a hacer el sábado por la noche?”(What are you doing on Saturday night?) Alba asked me as we enjoyed our lunch break at school.

“No mucho, ¿por qué?” (Not much, why?) I replied, taking a bite of my pasta.

“¡Ale está jugando y tengo entradas! ¡Por favor, ven conmigo!” (Ale is playing, and I got tickets! Please come with me!) Alba pleaded.

“Alba, sabes que no me gusta el fútbol.” (Alba, you know that I don’t like football) I said.

“Lo sé, y a mí tampoco, pero es mi hermana la que juega. Es una gran oportunidad para que la conozcas” (I know, and neither am I, but it’s my sister playing. It’s a great chance for you to meet her) she explained. “Además, después del partido, vamos a cenar con mi mamá, y también puedes conocerla an ella.” (Plus, after the match, we’re going out to dinner with my mom, and you can meet her too.)

I considered it for a moment. “Okay, pero solo porque voy a conocer a tu familia.” (Alright, fine, but only because I get to meet your family) I agreed. She cheered and leaned over the table to give me a kiss on the cheek.

——

I was in my apartment with Alba, getting ready to go to her sister's game—Barcelona against Real Sociedad. According to Alba, it should be an easy win.

“¡Oh! ¡Tengo un regalo para ti! No te pongas una camiseta.” (Oh! I have a gift for you! Don't put on a shirt) she exclaimed, standing up from the couch and heading towards her bag.

She pulled out a Barcelona jersey.

“¿Qué es eso?” (What's that?) I asked, examining the jersey. “Es la camiseta de mi hermana. Mira, ese es su nombre en la parte de atrás.” (It's my sister's jersey. Look, that's her name on the back) she said, turning the jersey around so I could see. It had Alexia written with the number 11 below her name.

That name brings back some embarrassing memories...

“Espera, pensé que el nombre de tu hermana era Ale” (Wait, I thought your sister's name was Ale) I said, confused.

“No, "Ale" es su apodo, su nombre real es Alexia.Ale no es ni siquiera un nombre real” (No, Ale is her nickname. Her real name is Alexia. Ale isn't even a real name) she explained as if it were obvious.

“Bueno, para mi era real. ¡Tú y todos tus amigos la llamaban así!” (Well, it was real to me! You and all your friends called her that!) I replied.

“Sí, porque ese es su apodo. ¡Todos la llaman así! De todos modos, aquí, póntelo. ¡Es para ti!” (Yes, because that's her nickname. Everyone calls her that! Anyway, here, put it on. It's for you) she said, handing me the jersey.

“¡Oye! ¿Por qué tengo que usar uno yo y tú no?” (Hey! Why do I have to wear one and you don't?) I complained.

“¡Porque es el primer juego que verás en persona! Necesitas experimentar todo al máximo.” (Because it's the first game you'll see in person. You need to experience the full thing) she said excitedly.

I rolled my eyes but put on the jersey anyway.

“Vamos mi amor” (Let's go, my love) she said excitedly and slapped my butt. I laughed at her and grabbed my bag as we exited my apartment and headed to the stadium.

Once we arrived at the stadium, we settled into our seats, which were quite close to the tunnel where the players come out.

While Alba was preoccupied with her phone, I took in the atmosphere of the stadium, noticing that many fans were wearing jerseys with Alexia's name. She must be an exceptional player for so many people to sport her jersey.

“Tengo hambre, voy a buscar algo de comida. ¿Quieres algo?” (I'm starving, I'm going to grab some food. Do you want anything?) Alba asked as she stood up from her seat.

“No, gracias” (No, thanks) I replied, glancing up at her. She nodded and walked off.

Lost in my thoughts, I was suddenly brought back by the sound of cheers from the crowd. Turning my head, I saw players emerging from the tunnel for their pre-match warm-up.

The cheers grew even louder as a blonde player stepped out. I couldn't see her face, only her back and her blonde hair tied in a ponytail.

When she turned around to greet the fans it felt like time stood still. There she was, the woman who had turned me down!

I couldn't believe what I was seeing, so I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. What is happening?I- I’m speechless. So I got rejected by a famous football player then… great…

I can't believe it. Alexia is a football player and a very famous one. She—

Wait... Alexia... Alexia... Ale—Oh my God, are you kidding me?! Alba's sister is Alexia, my Alexia??? The woman I thought about almost every night before bed and who rejected me!

Alba came back with her bowl of popcorn in hand, but I was so shocked I couldn't move... How the heck did I not realize this before?

“Estas bien?” (Are you okay?) Alba asked, noticing my state. "No" was all I could respond.

She put her hand on my thigh. “Que paso? (What happened?) she asked. I looked her in the eyes.”Tu hermana es Alexia” (Your sister is Alexia) She frowned. “Sí, te lo dije” (Yeah, I told you that) she replied.

“Alexia es la chica de la que te hablé esa noche en el restaurante de sushi,la que encuentro al restaurante, la que me pareció hermosa pero de la que no sabía nada...” (Alexia is the girl I told you about that night at the sushi restaurant, the one that I met at a restaurant and I thought was beautiful but knew nothing about...) I said, looking her in the eyes.

“¡¿Qué?! ¿Eres la chica por la que ha estado deprimida durante semanas?!” (What?! You're the girl she's been depressed about for weeks?!) she practically screamed, surprised.

#woso community #woso #woso soccer #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso appreciation #woso x reader #women’s football #futfem #fcb femení #alexia putellas imagine #woso one shot

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starlightomatic · 6 months

Text

hi, i just want to remind folks that a lot of people on here have personal connections to people who died or were kidnapped on october 7th. please keep this in mind when you want to understand why we react so much when people denying, minimize, or celebrate it.

a couple of months ago i met vivian silver's best friend. vivian silver was a long-time peace activist who was burned to a crisp so badly on october 7th that it took weeks to identify her body. my ex-boyfriend's family was friends with her as well, and they spent those weeks believing she was a hostage and hoping for her return, only to discover that she had been dead the whole time.

a couple weeks ago i met the sister of a nova festival survivor. she said that the hours when her brother was out of contact and they didn't know if he was alive or dead were both the shortest and longest hours of her life. another friend of mine lost five friends that day. yet another friend lost two friends who were on a biking trip in southern israel.

a couple who i know because they attended my childhood synagogue while in the US for two years lived in kibbutz nahal oz. they always told us how beautiful it was, and how they wanted us to visit it. now we can't; it's destroyed, with several of its residents killed. they and their two young girls miraculously survived after hiding in their safe room for ten hours before being rescued. a good friend of mine's boyfriend is from one of the kibbutzim that was destroyed, but he was not there at the time and so survived.

once, many years ago when the ex-boyfriend who i mentioned above (the one who knew vivian) were on a gap year in israel, i visited him on the kibbutz he was living on on a thursday night, and his friend gave us a ride to a bus station the next day to help us get to our shabbat destinations. the friend was headed on to visit friends at kibbutz be'eri, now destroyed, with over 10% of residents killed. i don't know if that man's friends survived.

another friend of mine, who was my coworker for several months when she was in the US last year, lived in metula in northern israel, on the border with lebanon. because of the war, she and many others are internally displaced within israel, because her home is not safe from rockets. recently, a mutual friend told me her house has been destroyed.

another friend of mine attended virtual synagogue with chaim katzman, a young man who spent time in the west bank protecting palestinian shepherds. when hamas fighters opened the closet he was hiding in to capture hostages, they shot him immediately, before taking hostage the women and children hiding in the closet with him.

in total, i have at least eight friends-of-friends who were killed on october 7th. the actual number is probably far higher, since i have a lot of friends in israel and many israelis lost people; but the eight is confirmed.

all of this to say: please understand when you're interacting with me and other jumblr bloggers that this is not theoretical to us. maybe to some of you, it's an academic excercise in seeing fanon's works in practice. maybe it's about decolonial theory and you might think "ah, well, decolonization is violent, what a shame but it was necessary." please remember it's easier to think that when you're not the one sitting at a shabbat lunch table with your mom's old friend who had to learn within the past few months that a woman she'd built movements with and was best friends with had been burned so badly she couldn't be identified for weeks.

i already know that people will believe the purpose of this post is to "generate consent for genocide" no matter what i say, but i'm going to say it anyway: nothing justifies genocide. nothing justifies the brutality that israel visits on the palestinian people. the people of gaza have gone through an order of magnitude more horror than what israelis have. the entire gaza strip is destroyed; people's homes, schools, mosques, orange orchards, everything. entire families have been killed with not a single surviving member. people have starved to death. people lack sanitation, menstrual products, and safe places to give birth. children are operated on without anesthesia. this is one of the greatest humanitarian crises of this century and it is israel's fault.

we need a ceasefire now; we needed a ceasefire yesterday; we needed a ceasefire months ago; we needed this never to begin. blowing up a child in gaza does not bring back vivian, it does not bring back chaim, it does not bring back my friend's cycling friends. it doesn't untraumatize the girl who waited hours to know if her brother was okay or the young family trapped for ten hours in their safe room. and i know for a fact that vivian and chaim would never have wanted this. not in their names, or at all.

so i am not posting this in an attempt to deny, minimize, excuse, or justify the genocide of the people of gaza, or to deny or excuse the nakba, the israeli raids in the west bank, settler violence, land theft both past and present, burning of olive trees, checkpoints and the restrictions on palestinian movement, the denial of right of return, and the fact that most palestinians do not have voting rights in the country that controls their lives.

i also understand that there are folks on here who have just as many personal connections to gaza -- or more -- than i do to israel. that it's deeply personal to them too, and they have watched as loved ones die, places they love and remember are bombed to dust, and people continue to minimize it, excuse it, or fight over semantics. i understand that this post will not land well for many of those folks, and that it will have activated people to hear me speak of nahal oz as a beautiful place i wanted to visit, because that land likely once belonged palestinian families, and was seized after its residents were herded into gaza during the nakba.

and.

people are human. humans deserve to live in safety. friends of humans who are harmed will feel pain, even if those friends lived on colonized land. i also live on colonized land, i am a settler. i live on the lands of indigenous peoples. when i looked up the nation whose land i live on, i can find information about their history but no information on where they went or whether they still exist. i don't know if they experienced a genocide and were all killed, or if they joined another people. i know i have never met any of them, and i live on their land.

and i'm not the only one. millions of people on this site are also colonizers of indigenous land. if you are not indigenous or Black, and you live in the US or Canada, you are every bit as complicit as my friends' dead friends in israel. your beautiful town is not morally better than nahal oz. you recognize yourself and your friends as people; you see their humanity.

i am beyond begging you to see the humanity of israelis, i think many of you can't. instead, this is my request:

remember, as you're doing your callouts, as you're describing me as evil and a person who needs to be blocked for the safety of your followers to i don't infect you or them with my evil:

i say and feel the things i do in large part from a traumatic event that occurred less than a year ago that i am personally connected to. please use what you know of trauma to understand that.

and then, if you can do that, maybe we can start to understand how trauma plays into why israel is the way it is; why trauma is actually the biggest player. so many of you have asked "how could a people who've been brutalized and oppressed brutalize and oppress another people?" my question: why would you expect that not to happen? trauma responses include fear, anger, aggression, compassion fatigue. when a population of descendants of refugees and genocide survivors, in a world that they believe to be out to get them, either supports or turns a blind eye to their government's atrocities, i am not surprised. saddened, but not surprised.

we then have to start asking: who enacted those traumas? when will we start to see the pain of both palestinians and israelis in light of the violence inflictated by far more powerful entities? by germany in the holocaust; russia and poland in the pogroms; swana arab countries in the persecution of jews post-WW2? who's at the top here? many of you are happy to believe it's jews pulling all the strings, but who set this in motion?

who denied jews safe haven before the holocaust, thus enabling this trauma to be inflicted in the first place? the US, and nearly all countries around the world. who restricted jewish immigration even post-holocaust, thus funneling huge numbers of jewish refugees into palestine, overwhelming the population even if israel had not been a colonial project? again, the US, and many other countries. who made double-promises and drew arbitrary lines in the region leading to decades of conflict? the UK.

who's funding this war? the US. Russia. Iran. don't be fooled that any of them care about israelis or palestinians. they have their own interests.

israelis and palestinians are the collateral damage in a horrible chess game that world powers have been playing for centuries. but they are not collateral damage, they are human beings, and their lives have value. collective liberation demands we look at the levels above the oppressor to see who is holding the strings, who put the puzzle pieces in place, who set off the levers and strings in a noxious rube goldberg machine that left nahal oz and be'eri in ruins and gaza destroyed almost beyond recognition.

my friends' little girls cowering in a safe room were never the enemy. chaim katzman hiding in a closet hoping the fighters would overlook it and leave him alive, or at very least capture him instead of kill him, was never the enemy. and they can't be; not if our goal is freedom and safety for everyone in israel/palestine. choosing who will dominate and who will be the oppressed minority in whatever comes next will not be the answer we need, and will not be liberation. just as zionism was not liberation. what can we build together, when this is all over?

what do we need to dismantle and destroy?

let's start with what we don't: homes. villages. cities. kibbutzim. orange trees. olive trees.

and who do we need to fight?

let's start with who we don't: the children.

1K notes · View notes

landograndprix · 9 months

Text

╰┈➤ ❝ desire • l.n c.l ❞

part one - part ii

➪ Charles hasn't paid much attention to you after your daughter was born but a certain Brit does.

➪ Everything seems to be going right and life seems amazing, at least to the others..not for you.

➪ established relationship mom!reader x dad!Charles x lando

➪ this came to me as I was running a high fever, stop judging me..i also needed a charles fic here, No lando in this one yet, Charles ain't a real good partner and google translate is my bestest friend

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charlesgirlies

liked by 456 others

charlesgirlies Charles and Zoë in y/n's story today 🥰

view all 189 comment

cahlossainz oh

chilisainz oh my god I'm dead 😭

↳ bott_ass bestie same

charles16 she needs to keep feeding us dad Charles please!!

leclerc_16 volunteering to be his baby mama

lanlan Zoë is just the cutest little bean 🥰

↳ charlesgirlies she is! 🥰

lanlan lil cutie like her mom :)

charlesgirlies and her dad!

charloslesainz y/n living my dream life 😭

landoscar I just know zoë has Charles wrapped around her finger

yukisan didn't know y/n and charles were together let alone have a kid 😂

↳ clsixteen have you been living under a rock? It was a big scandal when they were seen together 5 years ago?? 😭

yukisan I'm new so i dont have all the lore, just thought they were friends because they both come from Monaco 😅

leckerkcharles y/n the predator and her victims

mrsleclerc love that there's still people in the comments being mad about them dating 💀

↳ carlandooo for real it's been 5 years people and charles is not little sauber Charles anymore 🤡

charlesgirlies people be acting like y/n is 40 years older than charles

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y/nusername

📍 Sicily, italy

liked by charles_leclerc, noellepicard and 369,989 others

y/nusername babes big day out 🏖

tagged: noellepicard, manon_roux

view all 1,111 comments

noellepicard she's a little mermaid 🧜🏻‍♀️

charlesssss I can't, she's the cutest 😭

charles_leclerc princesse ❤️

↳ charloslesainz stop it, he's such a girl dad imma throw up

hamilt44n man is made to be a dad honestly

manon_roux lucky to have the prettiest girls in the world with me 🥰

↳ joris__trouche je n'ai pas reçu mon invitation? (i didn't get my invite)

y/nusername probablement parce que je n'en ai pas envoyé :) (probably because i didn't send one)

joris__trouche comportement inacceptable (unacceptable behaviour)

charles_leclerc Joris est une des filles maintenant 😂 (joris is one of the girls now)

y/nusername Je devrais lui acheter une mini-jupe et des talons hauts pour nos prochaines vacances :') (should buy him a mini skirt and some high heels for our next vacation)

manon_roux j'aimerais voir cela se produire 🤣 (i'd love to see that happen)

joris__trouche j'aurais l'air sexy et tu ne peux pas le nier (i'd look sexy and you can't deny it)

sharl16 no idea what they're saying but I agree 😭

landoscar her little feeties 🥺

leclerc_16 am I the only one who finds it strange that they haven't been together this summer break?

↳ carlosleclerc they were bestie, they spend time together with friends in Monaco last week..they're both on their girls and boys vacation..pretty normal

leclerc_16 oh I've missed that part..still something feels off

carlosleclerc I mean y/n gave birth to their daughter not that long ago and its probably not the best idea to fly with a new born/baby all around the world. I'm sure they're fine..

leclerc_16 mmm you're probably right, would hate to see them split up though

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y/nusername posted to their story

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y/nusername

📍 Monte-Carlo, Monaco

liked by arthur_leclerc, pierregasly and 327,888 others

y/nusername juste toi et moi à l'infini, petite fille 💗 (just you and me to infinity, little girl.)

view all 1,222 comments

noellepicard 😍

yourmumsuser mes anges ❤️ (my angels)

charloslesainz 'just you and me' doesn't sit right with me lmfao

↳ thurthur my god it's just a caption 💀

landoscar for real they're always reaching for things

thurthur they always trying to start shit and it's getting annoying and repetitive

clsixteen never seen such a cute kid 🥰

francisca.cgomes need to meet her soon!

↳ y/nusername your always welcome!

bananaclerc cutest little bunny 🐰

manon_roux mon lapinou ❤️ (my bunny)

joris__trouche mon petit monstre ❤️ (my little monster)

↳ hamilt44n stop this kid is so loved 😭

sainzleclerc feeding the delulu fans with that caption

↳ charlesgirlies it's literally just a damn caption!!!

sainzleclerc I know but the crazy charles girlies haven't seen them together in a while and don't forget Charles hasn't mentioned zoë in a while.. things add up in their heads 🤡

charles_leclerc mes princesses ❤️

↳ y/nusername 🥰

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y/nusername posted to their story

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Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @pretty-little-bunny382728

Lando taglist: @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10 @bored-brunette2

let me know if you want to be taken off the taglist

#charles leclerc x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #lando norris #lando x reader #charles x reader #f1 x reader #f1 x you #charles leclerc fanfic #lando norris fanfic

3K notes · View notes

prettygiri222 · 9 months

Note

okay but imagine eren seen a video of his baby momma at the club singin sexy redd’s “ FUCK MY BABYDADDY ” 😭😭 he just brings their son or daughter to reader’s mom and goes back to reader’s house and tears them TF upppp.

i can just hear him saying “ fuck yo baby who?? oh aight. ”

I had to add rapper!Eren to this cause it's something I always wanted to write😋

Eren x Black Fem Reader, PLOT + SMUT

rapper Eren Yeager's longtime girlfriend of six years broke up with him after having his first child, Duke Yeager. Eren shared a post on instagram confirming their breakup but stated that the both of them remain in Duke’s life as co-parents. the reason why was unreleased so fans speculated that Eren must’ve cheated because why else would you willingly break up with the famous rapper. his management released a statement saying it was due to conflicting schedules but it was seen as damage control so no one believed it.

during the six years of the relationship, his management managed to keep your face out of the media. but with the way Eren was constantly posting snippets of you, fans soon discovered who you were after matching physical features, traits and location that were found on his story with the ones present on your small instagram.

you two quickly became the it couple, how the girl from nowhere pulled a famous rapper gave fans hope because they saw them reflected in you. a woman who didn’t have to undergo multiple surgeries to pull the industry's finest. but after the breakup, that image fell.

his management did their best to keep things under wraps to keep the media from tormenting you but it didn’t work. when you posted a picture of yourself postpartum your dms filled with hateful comments wondering why Eren had gotten with you in the first place. you knew it was just jealous fangirls but it still got to you, especially since you weren’t all that confident in your new body and still recovering from your pregnancy. your accounts went silent shortly after.

although the breakup was mutual, the reason why was deeper than scheduling conflicts. you needed someone who was able to be there physically, emotionally and mentally. it was hard for Eren to provide that due to his career path, always travelling the world with a packed schedule. you guys did your best to make it work but after Duke came into the world you just couldn’t handle it anymore.

Eren was a decent baby daddy and you guys co-parented well. you had full custody of him but when Eren was in town and would have time off you would send Duke over to him. Duke loved his daddy, always wanting to watch his concerts and interviews on the TV when he wasn’t there or free to facetime. Eren always made sure to send double what was asked for in child support to make sure you took care of yourself as well as his son.

that’s why when you reposted your friend’s story of you in the club all hell broke loose. people took it as a diss to your baby daddy, which it was, but not in the way they thought.

earlier that week you had dropped Duke off at Eren’s mansion. he had just flown back in from his world tour and finally had a few weeks off. despite being exhausted he called you up and asked if you could bring Duke over, wanting to spend as much time with his son as possible during his break. he sent over an uber black to pick the two of you up.

when Eren met you two at the door, Duke jumped into his arms smiling and giggling. it’s been a while since he’s seen his daddy in person. the sight made you awe. Eren turned to you and asked if you wanted to stay over so he could spend time with the two most important people in his life but sadly you declined. you didn’t want to interrupt their father and son bonding time.

Duke was almost a clone of Eren, he had his sharp green eyes, german nose and face shape. the only hints of you in him were his full lips, darker skin and coils. Duke was your little bundle of joy but he could be a handful at times. during the few times those two got to spend together Eren spoiled him rotten, whatever he wanted he got and it showed. whenever you told him no he would throw a tantrum saying how he wanted his daddy. you knew you were a good mother but hearing him say that when you were the one who took care of him every day hurt.

---

it was a friday night and Eren was at his crib chilling with Duke. he had his phone on do now disturb so his time with his family wouldn’t be interrupted. it was a shame you weren’t here to spend time with them. after having pizza, soda and ice cream for dinner the boys passed out on the couch after staying up past midnight watching movies.

his peace was soon interrupted by the constant buzz of his phone. it roused him from his sleep but Duke slept through it. after the third ring, he finally answered the phone. he was pissed that his manager was calling him knowing it was his time off but he figured it must be important for them to use emergency bypass to call.

“what’s going on?” his voice gruff from his slumber and irritation. he turned on his phone to see it flooded with notifications from instagram, snapchat, tiktok, twitter, messages, missed calls from his friends and one from his mom and his heart dropped to his stomach. he hadn't dropped anything new recently so he knew whatever was happening had to be bad.

“well… it’s about your baby mama… she uh…” his manager was at a loss for words. he didn't know the words to describe the situation to make it not seem as bad as the media was already making it out to be. he knew Eren would be pissed when he found out what happened and they didn't want to be on the end of it.

Eren was extremely protective of his family and friends. when he saw the hate you were receiving after you posted a picture of yourself postpartum he took to twitter immediately. he did not play when it came to you, together or not together. you were the mother of his child and you needed your respect. so he was wondering why you were playing in his face like this.

“well what is it?” he snapped, already losing his patience. “is she ok? is she hurt?” he shot upright from his resting position on the couch. he opened up the group chat between him, Armin, Connie, Onyankopon and Jean first. all that was sent was a blurry video followed by a bunch of skull and grave emojis.

he opened the video and immediately recognized the faces of a few of the girls in it as a few of your friends, Sasha, Mikasa and Historia at a club. Sasha, Connie’s model girlfriend was the one to record them singing along to a sexyy red song. he wondered what the video had to do with him until it panned to you. you stood out with your brightly dyed red hair styled in a what he recognized as a wash-and-go.

“fuck my baby daddy! fuck my baby daddy! fuck my baby daddy!” you were shouting the lyrics a little bit too passionately. you had your middle fingers stuck up to the camera showing off your glittery red acrylic nails. you were clearly wasted, drunk off of whatever drinks Sasha managed to shove down your throat.

“yes bitch!” your friends shouted as you turned around to shake your ass sticking out your tongue. you were wearing a ripped mesh dress. one of your friends reached out to pull down the back of your dress to prevent your ass from showing but the dress was already leaving very little to the imagination. the pregnancy did your body good, you were a bit on the skinny side before but now your hips had filled out, your ass and boobs swole and your skin finally cleared up. you were glowing.

“I’m a fine ass bitch, I ain’t in the in the house sad!” you were feeling yourself. it felt nice to get out of the house and away from Duke no matter how much you loved him. having to take care of a baby by yourself was tiring, no matter how much Eren supported you from afar you needed him there with you.

your friends were hyping you up and your mind grew hazy from both the alcohol and adrenaline. you were far too gone to realize what you said when you yelled “fuck Eren!” instead of the actual lyrics. the camera quickly panned to the floor before the video stopped.

Eren had to replay the video countless times to process what he had seen and heard. but he couldn’t believe it was you. never in the eight years he’s known you have you ever picked up the phone to send a dig at him through social media. no matter how tough the going got, it’s what he respected about you. you always wanted to talk problems through and try to make it work. Eren clenched his fist looking at you now.

Eren knows how baby mamas like you are seen and treated in the industry. he’s seen how they're constantly bashed and embarrassed by the fathers of their children and the media. Eren never wanted that for you, he wanted to give you a ring before he gave you a baby but accidents happen and here you both were. instead of calling him or stopping by to talk you wanted to show out for the fans and diss him. it was stupid of you, he knew you were better than this.

“so it’s “fuck Eren” is that right,” Eren laughed to himself throwing his head back on the couch. sure he couldn’t be there for you and Duke all the time like he wanted but at least he tried. he was a very busy man. but he did what he had to to make sure his mother, Duke and you could have a nice and cozy life. where Duke didn’t have to worry about if he was going to eat dinner that night. “bet.”

“sorry little man but I have to go get your mommy. you’re going to go to stay with your grandma tonight, ok?” he cooed to Duke, waking him up. Duke slowly woke up and was trying to rub the sleep out of his eye. Eren loved his son very much he was the reason he kept this stressful life up.

he enjoyed making music and performing but not during the days when he slept in the studio trying to find the perfect lyrics and beat or days where he hardly slept because he had to stay on his feet. it was a fast life and if he couldn’t keep up it would all come crashing down. and for you to make a dig at that knowing how he felt was fucked.

“Eren Yeager!” his manager shouted through the phone overhearing the whole thing. he needed Eren to keep a calm head and not do anything rash tonight. he didn’t need him sparking more outrage in the media or doing something that could potentially ruin the relationship you two had. “what are you going to do?”

“what else, I’m going to go fuck my baby mama,” before his manager could get another word out he hung up the phone.

“daddy said a bad word!”

“...don’t tell your mom and I’ll bring you to the studio with me.”

---

you wobbled into your apartment with a sheepish grin. it felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulder tonight. it’s been a while since you went to the club and got so drunk that the world became a blur. you were slowly regaining memories of what happened that night and you couldn’t help but cringe knowing you would regret some of them in the morning. your phone died on your way home after you reposted Sasha’s story so you were oblivious to the buzz you had created.

when you went to unlock your door you found out that it was already open. you raised your brow but you brushed it off thinking you must’ve forgotten to lock it in your rush to leave the house. you knew the security for your building was tight, it was the main thing you were looking for when you were buying your apartment. it was a necessity since Duke was the son of a successful rapper.

when you and Eren had split you bought yourself a nice little two-bedroom apartment deep in the city. Eren offered to pay for it but you immediately declined, you didn’t want anything else of yours to get attached to him. during your relationship you saved up a lot of money since Eren had always offered to buy you whatever you wanted and spoiled you rotten just like he was doing with Duke. he fueled your shopping addiction only wanting his girlfriend to have the best of the best.

you had a little side hustle as an occasional hairstylist and nail artist for your friends and family with the occasional new client. Eren told you time and time again you didn’t need to work and that he would take care of everything. but you liked having your own source of income it made you feel independent plus you enjoyed your job.

being able to close on your dream apartment was a dream come true and it left you feeling satisfied. you loved how everything was within walking distance, there was a daycare down the street along with an elementary school for when Duke got older. there was a grocery store right around the corner with a few outlets and public transit ran just outside the building, it was perfect for a single mother like you.

“thought we were doing good with this co-parenting shit mama?” the second you opened the door you were greeted by a voice you knew better than your own. goosebumps covered your arms, ‘why is he here’ you thought.

“Eren?” you called out into the dark apartment. you felt the wall closest to the door for the switch and turned the light on. and there he was, Eren, your famous baby daddy. he turned his head to look at you from where he was seated on the couch. his eyes were extremely low, watching your every move. “are you ok? where's Duke?”

“with your mom,” Eren was having such a pleasant high, he felt so relaxed and calm in the dark room. he didn’t have the TV on and was just staring at the black screen. but the second the room lit up and you walked through the door with that tiny see-through dress on it dispersed. he narrowed his eyes down at you and you could tell you had just blown his high. his anger simmering underneath his calm demeanour.

“how’d you even get in?” you never gave Eren the key to your apartment. having already been split and you always dropped Duke off at his place there was no reason for him to have one.

“front desk gave me a key after I flashed a couple of stacks,” he replied nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a crime on both parts. you rolled your eyes, this was how Eren fixed all his problems, with money. you get that when he was growing up it was something he didn’t have but now that he had it was like all he knew how to do was throw it at people to make his problems disappear.

“well if Duke isn’t here then there’s no reason for you to be,” you don’t know what you did to warrant this visit but you didn’t want to be in his presence any longer. you liked to keep your contact with Eren as minimal as possible. plus you didn’t have the energy to deal with him tonight, you were tired. hoping he would get the hint it was time to leave you walked away and headed towards your bedroom, “please see yourself out. we can talk another day.”

“nah, 'cause it’s “fuck Eren” right?” he got up from the couch and followed you down the hall and into your room. the wooden floor creaking under his weight. you didn’t have to turn around to know he was towering over you, you could feel him breathing down your neck. you tried to move away from him but he gripped your waist with a firm grip underneath and pulled you against him. “you must’ve gone crazy going so long with my dick huh? that must be it, acting like you lost your damn mind.”

“Eren!” you pulled away to look back at him in shock. “what are you even talking about?”

“don’t play dumb with me mama, your ass is all over the shade room talking about “fuck my baby daddy” ” he took his phone out of his pocket to show you their newest post. it was a screenshot of a video but it was clearly you, it was the same outfit and hairstyle you had on right now. you swiped the image on his phone in disbelief and the video played, “fuck Eren! fuck my baby daddy! fuck my baby daddy!”

“oh my gosh! Eren, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, I was drunk and got carried away,” you looked up at him from the phone. you could tell he was pissed, his eyes darkened after hearing what you said in the video for the hundredth time. you were horrified, you didn’t mean to air out your personal problems and make Eren seem like a bad father. you knew how the public blew things out of proportion.

“they say drunk words are sober thoughts,” Eren stated, shrugging his shoulders. “I know Duke be stressing you out ma, let me fix it,” he stared down at you with a little smirk. he licked his lips, obviously checking you out. it's been a while since he's seen your body exposed, you always show up to drop Duke off in oversized sweaters and shirts. just looking at you like this made his dick hard, “plus you owe me an apology.”

that’s how you found yourself face down ass up in your bedroom with the man you’d never thought would step foot in your new apartment. Eren was behind you standing at the edge of the bed, his black and grey nike tech sweater was thrown somewhere in your room leaving him in a white wife beater and his golden cuban link chain. his grey sweats were down so that just his dick was out.

“mm fuck Eren! please,” you cried out. no matter how deeply you arched or angled your hips you couldn’t get him to reach where you needed him the most. he knew that but he loved watching you struggle and the way your brown cheeks jiggled after coming into contact with his pelvis. you were a sight to see, one that he deeply missed.

“you can do better than that mama,” he raised his pierced brow watching you. Eren stood completely still behind you, you had your face buried in the sheets as you attempted to throw it back on him. you were still dressed in your mesh dress but he ripped your thong off. “I saw you in that video. you were shaking that shit so c’mon, fuck me back ma.”

your makeup was staining your sheets but you could care less right now. the feeling of Eren stretching out your practically virginal walls was dumbfounding. he didn’t bother to stretch you out believing that your body was already moulded to his shape. but it’s been about two years since you last had sex. your tight walls were struggling to accommodate his humongous size.

“ ’m trying,” the lack of stimulation on your sweet spots had you in tears. the stretch was pleasurable but it wasn’t enough, paired with the shallow thrusts. you so desperately craved more so you reached in between your legs to play with your clit. Eren groaned at the sight of you touching yourself, not to mention you began to clench around him.

“damn ma, now that’s what I’m talking about,” Eren gave your ass a harsh slap. you let out a little whine as you lost your rhythm because of it. but you soon found it again. your wetness was soaking his dick and you were basically twerking on his dick. Eren loved every second of it.

he took one of your ass cheeks and pulled it to the side with his tattooed hand, he watched himself go in and out of your brown folds. feeling the unsteady approach of his orgasm watching as you struggled to fuck yourself on him he decided to finally grant you mercy. he languidly began to thrust into you. “go ahead and nut on this dick mama.”

“o-okay” you stuttered out. you struggled to concentrate on stimulating your sensitive clit while bouncing back to meet Eren’s lazy thrusts. your fingers were covered in your own wetness while you rubbed little circles on your bud. each loop paired with the tip of his dick pressing against that spongy spot inside you brought you ever closer to your climax. “ ‘m so close!”

“let it out for me baby,” the pace became erratic, you guys’ release at its peak. sometimes his dick collided straight into your soft spot and sometimes it completely missed. but the feeling of him pummeling in and out of you had you convulsing around his dick. “keep squeezing around me like that and I'll put another baby in you, fuck.”

you let out broken whines as you struggled to continuously stimulate your bud. you were soaking wet that your fingers slipped around. “‘ren! ren!” you chanted, reaching out toward him with your slick-covered hand. Eren grabbed it and put it in his mouth. groaning deeply as he licked and sucked on your coated digits.

“don’t worry mama, I got you. let it out for me,” Eren leaned over your arched form and whispered in your ear. his husky sending shivers down your spine as he talked you through it. you listened to him feeling the wave of pleasure overwhelm you, the sensation in your stomach bursting.

“f-fuck, fuck!”

“shit,” when he felt himself about to burst he pulled out of your pussy's compelling grasp. he watched the lewd scene in front of him and used it to jerk off. he groaned out stroking his soaking dick. your pussy hole remained gaping after he pulled out and your liquids were spilling on your sheets. after a few strokes, he released all over your back onto your mesh dress staining it.

you plopped down onto your empty bed exhausted. the room filled with the sound of laboured breathing as you guys tried to catch your breath. the sound of Eren shuffling around could be heard soon after. your heart ached at the thought of him leaving you so soon but you closed your eyes, ‘it’s for the better’ you thought. you wanted a few moments of rest before you went to wash up.

but Eren wasn’t finished yet, he was shedding the remaining articles of his clothing leaving him naked. your eyes opened feeling the bed dip under the extra weight. before you could protest, Eren had already climbed on top of you, grabbing your legs and having them pushed over your head, “we’re not finished yet.”

this time Eren took the lead, he had ripped off your dress leaving you completely naked and exposed to his eyes. he had you folded over like a pretzel leaving you open for him. your legs were bent so far over your head you could see the top of your pussy and watch as Eren thrusted in and out of your overstimulated hole from above. the pleasure made you want to slither away but Eren’s strong hold kept you still.

“E-eren!” you were losing your mind from the stimulation. “too much! it’s too much!” you cried out. you reached out to push against his rock-hard abdomen. you didn’t want him to stop, not when you were so close to your second orgasm of the night but it was too much. he was being so rough with you. you didn’t think you had it in you after motherhood to be manhandled like this.

“nah, you can take it. you’re a big girl now, dissing me at the club with your friends. be glad I’m even fucking you since I’m such a “bad baby daddy.” Eren mocked you from above. he didn’t even flinch as you tried to push him away. he smiled down at you watching how easily you got fucked out. moans were no longer coming out your mouth, more like strangled sobs and whines that were being forced out after each deep thrust of his. the head of his dick battering your insides and abusing your soft spot left you tremoring underneath him.

“imsorryimsorry,” you babbled out. your mascara and eyeliner were running down your cheeks and your lipstick was smothered but you couldn’t look any prettier to Eren. he enjoyed watching as your tits bounce around. he brought his forest green eyes back up to you watching as you bit your quivering lip.

“how’d that song go again?” Eren sarcastically asked. with the number of times he replayed that video he had the lyrics, beat and rhythm all memorized. “something like this right?” pap! pap! pap! Eren changed the rhythm of his thrusts, the sound of his balls clapping against your ass and the squelching sounds of your pussy mimicked the bow bow bow of the song. he angled each thrust to deliver a particularly harsh hit to your g-spot.

without warning an intense feeling of pleasure erupted in your stomach. “imcuming!” you cried out. you could feel a liquid flow out from your pussy, completely drenching Eren’s dick. he quickly pulled out to watch you squirt, a sight he immensely missed. the translucent liquid gushed out of your hole soaking the sheets as well.

“you said fuck your baby who?” Eren smiled down at your fucked out face. you couldn’t even answer him with the overwhelming pleasure rendering all of your senses useless. your head was thrown back and your face furrowed, coming down from the high of your intense orgasm. “oh aight.”

I think I got a bit carried away🤭

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love2write2626 · 2 months

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Chasing The Wind (Tyler Owens x OFC)

Summary: Five years have gone by since the life-altering storm chase that impacted Y/N and her sister Kate. Through the years Y/N has experienced Highs and lows, but eventually found her place with Tyler and The rest of the Tornado Wranglers. However, when Kate returns home to collaborate with Storm Par, Y/N attempts to mend their relationship only to be rebuffed. It appears that Kate is solely heeding Javi's words and disregarding reality. Will she be able to make Kate see the truth?

Read the Prologue here

Chapter 1

5 Years Later

“Bye Mama” I said hugging her

“Bye sweetheart, thank you for coming to visit” I smiled

“Of course, Mama” I got out of the car, and as I’m walking to the diner she yells “Y/N!” I turn around “You tell Tyler to be careful” I rolled my eyes

“We will be careful” She squinted her eyes suspiciously

“I’m telling you, if you get hurt, I am coming for him” I laughed

“Ok mom, I’ll tell him”

“That’s all I ask. Love you sweetie”

“Love you too” I waved as she drove off. I looked around the old Diner, I haven’t been here in a while. It looks pretty much the same, just a little worn down. The parking lot is full of wanna be storm chasers waiting for news of a big twister coming so they can go and take lots of pictures.

As I walk further I let out a scoff when I see Storm Par waiting in the wings. Javi and I started Storm Par and I was so excited. Then Javi brought in a new business partner and I kind of got pushed to the side, which I didn’t mind all that much at first, but when I saw the shady investors they were dealing with I packed up my stuff and left. When we started we were in the business of helping people, now It seems they are in the business of just making money.

Scott, Javi’s business partner saw me and gave me a cocky smirk before turning around and went back to his conversation.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After quickly running to the bathroom I walk back out and stop in my tracks when I see Javi, and “KATE?” I yelled. Her head snapped up and she gave me a slight smile, but didn’t seem that happy to see me. I walked over and gave her a hug, even though she didn’t return it I didn’t care

“Hey sis” Kate said “What are you doing out here? Are you still chasing?” She asked

“Yeah, You would know that If you answered my calls” I said with a laugh, she frowned

“I’m not that good with communication Y/N” I nodded, Javi walked over to us and I glared at him. This man use to be one of my best friends now I can’t stand the sight of him.

“Hey, Y/N”

“Javi” I greeted, turning my head back to Kate

“So what are you doing out here?” I asked her

“I convinced her to come out for a week, to help us get our data. You know she has the best instincts.”

“I believe I was talking to my sister, not you” I said

“Y/N, Chill” Javi said, I know my face was full of anger “Kate is in safe hands with Storm Par… you know better than anyone we have some of the best safety protocols” Kate looked in-between the two of us.

“Y/N, you chase with Storm Par? Why didn’t you tell me Javi?” She asked confused

“No, No she use to work with us, hell this company was her idea… Our baby if you will” I rolled my eyes, and let out a sarcastic laugh “Then she ditched us to go be with some less funded storm chasers”

“That’s not the full story Javi and you know it, maybe you should tell her the truth about where all the money comes from and how you are nothing but a fraud” Kate put her hand up

“Y/N stop, Javi is our friend”

“Maybe your friend, he hasn’t been mine in a long time” We were cut off by loud music coming into the parking lot, and even though I was not in a particularly good mood, I still couldn’t help but smile when I saw Tyler drive up

“Behold, Tyler Owens” Javi said

“Who is he?” Kate asked, but before I have a chance to answer Javi said

“Redneck storm chasers with a youtube channel” I rolled my eyes “Him and his group including Y/N, call themselves Tornado Wranglers. The go around and do crazy stunts and stupid shit that is going to get them all killed one day” of course he leaves out the part about how we help the community and help get people food and water, but whatever. Kate turned to me

“You left Storm Par for that”

“I did, but I’m not going to explain myself to you sis. Go ahead and believe every word out of Javi’s mouth, but when you’re ready to hear the true story you have my number” I said walking over to the truck. I pushed my way through the adoring fans, and When Tyler saw me he smiled brightly.

“ONE MORE TIME, IF YOU FEEL IT…”

“CHASE IT” everyone yelled back, He hopped down off the running board and took my hand in his.

“Hey baby” he finally said to me, I wrapped my arms around him, and he immediately hugged me back. “You ok?” he asked.

“Not really, but I’m happy you’re here” He ran his hands up and down my back

“C’mon” He said, he grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, I couldn’t help but giggle, I have no idea where we are going but I don’t care I would follow Tyler anywhere. I love this man with all my heart. He is the smartest, funniest, kindest, hottest man I have ever met in my life. He pulled me around the back of the diner, and once we were out of sight of everyone. We stopped walking.

“I have a good idea of what we are doing back here Ty, but do you wanna tell me why you dragged me back here?” I smirked. Without saying a word or breaking eye contact. He walked me back against the wall.

“You look so fucking sexy when you wear my shirts” I looked down at what I am wearing, Tyler’s shirts get torn up a lot so most of the time instead of throwing them out, I will cut them into a crop top or something, and it turns him feral. He nuzzled his face into my neck, and started leaving light kisses “I missed you, next time you are coming to Arkansas with me”

“I missed you too, and you got it” I giggled. “What?” I asked when I noticed he was staring at me.

“Nothing, just Sometimes I just like to look at you just because you are so beautiful” I frowned

“Ty” I said attempting to push him away. He knows I hate being called pretty, or beautiful because I’m not. My body is covered in horrible scars from the accident 5 years ago. My car flipped 10 times, I know I am lucky because I could be dead, but it doesn’t make it any easier. His hard strong body stopped made it easy for him to keep me pushed against the wall.

“Y/N, Baby” He whispered into my ear. I felt a shiver run down my spine “You are a fucking goddess, the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. You are beautiful, funny, smart, and a whirlwind and I love you more than anything in this world. The scars are just proof of how strong you are, in my eyes they make you 10x more beautiful than you already are.” I know I have tears in my eyes. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck.

“I love you too, Now will you please kiss me?” he smirked, he leaned down and brought his lips to mine. I sighed into the kiss, He has been gone a week, and a week without kissing him has been torture. I felt his hands run down my back, and down to my butt. He squeezed my ass, and I broke the kiss to let out a little laugh and squeal.

“TYLER” I giggled. Without warning he immediately lifted me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist and made sure I held tight as he pushed me back against the wall and we continued to make out.

“Tyler and Y/N! Can ya’ll stop sucking face for 2 seconds so we can go chase a storm?” Boone yelled, I giggled.

“We’ll be there in a minute Boone” Tyler said. Once Boone walked away, I Jumped down and sighed.

“That was cut much shorter than I would have liked” I mumbled

“Don’t worry baby, tonight we make up for a week of no alone time” I giggled. He grabbed my hand and we started walking toward the truck. When I heard

“Y/N” I turned around and saw Kate running over to me. Tyler looked at me suspiciously, I smiled

“Go ahead I’ll be there in a second” He nodded before walking off.

“Javi just told me all about Tyler and ya’ll Tornado Wranglers” I smirked

“And?” I said waiting for her to continue

“Y/N, how could you abandon Storm Par, and Javi for that jerk. Are you sleeping with him?” I looked at her shocked.

“I see Javi didn’t tell you the truth, so don’t come over here and make me out to be some sort of bad guy. You don’t know the full story, but by all means listen to Javi and not your own sister.” I started to walk away, and she yelled.

“Javi wouldn’t lie to me” She said I nodded

“Sure he wouldn’t” I started to walk away again when I yelled back, “Oh by the way I am sleeping with Tyler by the way, it’s quite normal for women to sleep with their fiancé’s”

“You’re… you’re getting married?”

“You would have known that if you answered any of my calls” I sighed “You know sis, I don’t know what Javi did or said to get you to come back out here… but just so you know he has other motives.” I walked back toward the truck, I opened the passenger door

“Boone get in the back” Tyler said

“Why?” I sighed

“Boone get in the damn back, before I make you stay here” He grumbled and climbed in.

“Ready baby?” Tyler asked

“Always”

What do you think??? Is this worth being continued???? Leave a comment and let me know.

#twisters #tyler owens #tyler owens x reader #Tyler Owens x OFC #original female character #tyler owens fanfiction #tyler owens imagine #tyler owens fic #twisters 2024 #twisters movie #glen powell

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mrsparrasblog · 4 months

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POLY 141 x wedding

People said I write to much angst so here tooth rotting fluff for you.

Legally, you were already married to John for a few months. Unfortunately, it wasn’t allowed to marry multiple people. You understood where that rule came from, but it still hurt knowing you could only be legally John's spouse and not marry all four of your breathtaking men. So, when each of them proposed to you in their own unique way, how could you say no? Maybe you wouldn’t be legally married, but at least at heart, and that’s all that counts.

They organized most of the wedding themselves with the help of your Pinterest board. You were glad you didn’t need to plan all of this yourself, unlike your less fortunate friends whose husbands couldn’t even tell them what they wanted for dinner.

And now you were here, fiddling with your wedding dress in front of the big mirror. Your dad stayed by your side, holding back his tears. He didn’t understand at first—his kid in a relationship with four scary men (he couldn’t even threaten them properly, though he still tried; Simon and Price even had the decency to act scared, even though they knew your dad couldn’t do a thing). But he came to terms with it fast. He loved you, after all, and saw how well they treated you.

The wedding wasn’t too crowded. Johnny’s family took up the most space, surprisingly accepting the relationship of their son despite their strong Catholic beliefs. Kyle’s moms sat in the crowd, John’s sister with her husband and your now nephews, and Simon’s neighbor who always gave him something proper to eat when his dad starved him again. Nik, Kate and her wife, Alex, Farah, Alejandro, and Rudy were all there, and of course, all your loved ones.

Your dad walked you down the aisle, and it didn’t surprise you to see Simon and John shedding tears. Everyone thought it would be Johnny and Kyle, but you knew your boys too well. They all looked so breathtaking: Johnny with his kilt, Kyle with his tuxedo and the small peony in the pocket (of course he was the best dressed), John with his suit and vest, and Simon’s cream suit fitting perfectly with his blonde hair.

The vows were absolutely beautiful. Each of them wrote some personal words for you, and you couldn’t hold back your tears. You gave each of them their kiss, and now you weren’t married by law, but in front of all your loved ones, and that was more than enough.

You fought for dominance against John while cutting the cake, and to no one’s surprise, your hands were on top of his, making your family laugh.

Kyle got the privilege of having the first dance with you, spinning you around like no one was watching.

Johnny was delighted that he had the tradition of removing your garter. Oh, how proud he was, moving his head between your dress and coming back with it between his lips (he definitely didn’t say hi to his favorite place under your dress). You were blushing like hell while everyone was just laughing—typical Johnny.

You tossed the bouquet and Alex caught it, smiling cheekily towards Farah.

You talked with Simon about which tradition he felt comfortable with, and he thought carrying you over the threshold to keep bad ghosts away was fitting.

You always thought it was a lie what everyone said, but this really was the most beautiful day of your life.

A/N: Im sorry if some tradition confuse you I only know German, Turkish and Russian weddings, tried my best tho.

If I could draw I would include better inspiration so you get Pinterest pictures for their fits.

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emma-d-klutz · 7 months

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Clark telling someone on the Daily Planet who only knows him vaguely as a coworker that, sorry, he really cant take any of that Wayne Ent job off him. Why? Well he sure would like to be of help but journalistic integrity and all. Oh you don't know? Wayne is one of his best friends. No for real. No really! Like probably slot 5 of his top 5 favorite people in the world if he's ranking. (No, Lois isn't first. His mom is first. Which Lois knows but don't like say that I said that.) Right Wayne! No yeah for real love the idiot. You haven't seen him come around? Yeah and he always calls Clark the wrong name as a joke because we're friends. Dude I'm not lying to get out of this! Why would I lie? Ok yeah it is an annoying assignment...

Hang on.

Clark texts someone on his phone. Waits a beat. Gets a text back. Calls someone. It's ringing. It picks up.

"You're on speaker, B."

"Sorry just had to get somewhere quieter-" It is so loud in the background Wayne is nearly screaming into the phone. "Oh yeah Clark was with me all last week. Whatever you saw was someone else. In fact, he saved my life up there. I broke part of my spine on a fall and was partially paralyzed instantly, and he had to carry me over his shoulder. But then after five hours of carrying me, his adrenaline gave out, and so did his legs. So we're both on the ground in a pile right near the ledge, and we start sliding that direction, and I think to myself -I distinctly remember- I think to myself that if we're going to die, at least I get to die looking at intrepid reporter Clark Kent, who is waaay more ripped than he looks with a shirt on and has the most soulful blue eyes. And then we were saved or something because he's such a genius that he rewired his phone and rigged it to get a signal even in the middle of nowhere on the fly and called for a helicopter. Or something like that. I don't know. But yeah thats why Clark's been gone, and if you thought you saw him, you saw someone else. I mean that haircut is everywhere. Did you know he set that trend? Anyway I gotta go."

The line goes dead. Clark and the coworker look blankly at each other for a moment.

".....You were here all last week."

"Sorry. I didn't text him why I needed him to say he knows me, so I think he just.... tried to cover all the bases."

(Bruce is in several layers of method acting ofc but Jimmy, Hal, Ollie, Dinah, Kara, and several more all gleefully corroborate it immediately when given the opportunity and even yes-and onto it, and now Clark's journalistic integrity is going towards reminding his coworker that he was here last week I promise they're all doing bits )

#bruce wayne: now if I were bruce wayne what motive(s) would i misinterpret for such a text?

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guksfairy · 1 month

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BITTERSWEET MISTAKE / JJK

ꨄword count: 1.3k

ꨄsong: Not Allowed

ꨄnotes: …just angst honestly…this had been in my drafts for a while and I simply forgot about it :3 enjoy ! 💗

Your eyes are the first thing that catches Jungkook’s attention. He always told you how much he loved and adored your eyes more than anything. He was always able to read them quicker and clearer than anyone. He remembers when you were both in college and you’d get trapped into talking with people you didn’t like. With a simple look to Jungkook he knew to make up an excuse to get you away from the person as soon as possible. He always thought that was endearing. He was your safe space and hero.

Now, your eyes hold tears but they don’t fall. They’re not sad tears, you’re simply feeling emotional. He would know. Jungkook’s eyes begin to scan the rest of your face. Your mouth is bright and beautiful showing Jungkook’s favorite smile. He loved making you smile and laugh. You’d always laugh at his jokes, even though he himself knew that they sucked and wouldn’t even make a yes man laugh, but you did. You adored Jungkook. His jokes always made you giggle and smile.

Scanning lower he sees a necklace. On your first day of the last year of high school Jungkook gave you a promise ring, which you kept on a chain around your neck too afraid to lose it. This year would be the most difficult and stress filled compared to the rest. So the day before school started, and after his shift at the ice cream parlor was over, Jungkook ran over to the jewelry store in the plaza and picked up the custom ring he made you. Made to fit you and your style. He went for something small but enough to show you how much thought he put into this. Engraved on the inside with his and your name as well as the date he gave you the ring. The next day presenting it to you with a bouquet of flowers made from paper that he spent the entire past night making.

“Flowers that’ll never die, like my love and adoration for you,” he would tell you, and you kissed him while telling him how much you loved him and held them against your body.

Much like right now. Your bouquet of white and pastel pink flowers lay against your beautiful ivory shaded wedding dress. Your dad to your side holding back tears that were fighting to fall down his face at the thought of giving his baby girl away.

Jungkook knows the feeling very well. He’s feeling it right now, because when you begin walking down the aisle, smiling at your friends and family, you face forward and continue your path to your future husband. Cha Eunwoo. Walking entirely past Jungkook and his plus one, Jimin. He couldn’t come alone. He wouldn’t be able to hold back. He’d stop you midway and beg you to take him back. That it was all a mistake and to simply hold you or love you one last time would fix everything in him. He didn’t want to come. In fact he had thrown away your wedding invitation that was printed with a picture of you and Eunwoo in a flower field looking like the most elegant people of South Korea.

Until you called him personally, “It would really mean a lot, Jungkook. You were a great part of my life and basically my best friend. We’ve known each other since we were 4,” he could never say no to you. You’d tell him it was one of his greatest weaknesses, he would argue that it was his greatest strength, but now he’s starting to agree with you.

So he got in the car with Jimin the following week and drove to Gangnam where he knew he would only ever feel heartbreak.

Eunwoo’s eyes crinkle with a smile as you finally reach him and your dad jokingly raised two fingers to his eyes and then pointed them to him as if to say ‘I’m watching you’ jokingly. Jungkook and your dad always got along. Your father used to be a musician so he’d bond with him over that. Now Eunwoo is the one who sits in your family home and wins over your siblings and mom every time he plays a song on his guitar.

Before the ceremony can even begin, as Eunwoo’s friend tease him about being the first to get married in their group, Jungkook walks away followed by Jimin. He doesn’t know the layout of this venue but he just can’t be there. He can’t watch you get married to, and love, another man. When Jungkook was 16 and finally got the courage to ask you out, in which you said yes and he was over the moon, he swore to himself that you would be the only one he could envision as his wife. His life partner and the person he wanted to grow old with was you. It never changed. It didn’t change when you both had your first real argument in which he forgot your birthday and instead went to hangout with his friends and you told him you hated him and never wanted to see him again. It didn’t change when you two entered college and there were hundreds of different girls throwing themselves at Jungkook knowing full well he was taken.

It definitely did not change the night he told you he would be taking a job in the states for 2 years under contract and he doesn’t think long distance would be good for either of you. He let you cry into his shoulder that night but promised himself he would try everything to win you back even if you were in a relationship. He didn’t realize he would enjoy working at the company so much that 2 years doubled and quickly turned into 4. With minimal contact between the two of you, Jungkook was more than ecstatic to be back in Korea when the company opened a branch in Seoul. Though nothing could prepare him for the first time seeing you in four years.

A guy’s hands interlocked with your left hand that was now adorned with a shiny ring. He tried to run away so you wouldn’t spot him but it was too late once your face lit up and yelled his name. Dragging Eunwoo to meet Jungkook.

“This is my fiancé, Cha Eunwoo,” you had told him. He swore he couldn’t breathe but tried to keep his composure. Putting on his best smile and shaking his hand. The second you left after telling him how happy you were he was back in Korea, Jungkook ran to the nearest location where he didn’t see many people and let it all out. He had heard of people dying of a broken heart and he swore in that moment that it would be the cause of his death. You looked happier. Your beauty never leaving and in fact your looked even more gorgeous than the last time he saw you. More mature and put together.

He couldn’t hurt you once more with trying to win you back. That day Jungkook broke his own promise to himself and watched from afar. Now standing in front of the venue as the sun shined bright for your special day, Jungkook let it out once more. Falling to the ground Jungkook cried like a kid being hurt for the first time. Jimin’s attempt at comforting him wasn’t helping. His breathing became uneven. This was his fault. Had he came back sooner maybe he could have still had you.

No matter what, you will always be in Jungkook’s heart and mind. He just hoped he was still in yours.

You don’t know how long I could stare into your picture

And wish that it was me

I guess it’s different ‘cause you love him

#jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook x oc #bts #jungkook angst

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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 9 months

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Dean’s Girl

Dean Winchester x little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: When you get in trouble, you know just where to turn.

Your big brother was more than just your big brother. He was your best friend, your confidant, the one who raised you, and the one constant in your life.

When your mom died, Dean was there. When Sam went to college, Dean was there. When dad disappeared, Dean was there.

But now, Dean wasn’t here, and you had no idea what to do.

You had just gone out to get some food, that was it! Dean and Sam had been hunting a vampire nest, and since you were out of food you were going to go steal some for the guys, knowing that when they got back they’d be hungry. The one time you tried to be useful, and you just ended up getting caught.

The worst part was that you hadn’t been caught right away. Nope, you’d run all the way to your hotel, and you’d hoped that you could get into your room before the cop saw which way you turned, but it didn’t work out like that. Instead, the officer caught you with one foot in the door, which meant that he saw the wall covered in pictures and clippings of the victims of the vampires your brothers were hunting.

That predicament led to this one; you sitting in an interrogation room, your hands handcuffed to the table. You tried to imagine how Dean would be in this situation; would he be sarcastic and ornery, or would he be stoic and silent?

Not that it mattered what he would do; it was all you could do to keep from going into a panic attack, you definitely couldn’t pass for sassy or stoic at the moment.

“You’ve got a lot to explain, kid.” That was the first thing the officer said to you after he stepped into the room. “Look, we know you didn’t kill those people. But we also know that you checked in with a couple of men, right? Well we can get you off the stealing charges if you tell us what they did.”

“I want my phone call.” You didn’t even acknowledge the man’s words; the only thing you’d been able to think about since the second you got caught was ‘I need Dean.’

“Well maybe if you gave me some information I could arrange that for you.”

“I want my phone call.”

“I understand that.” The officer’s voice rose in agitation. “But I need you to tell me what those men did.”

You again ignored his words. You didn’t—couldn’t—think of anything but your big brother right now.

“I want my phone call.”

…

“Y/N? Gosh, kid, we’ve been calling you! Where—“

“De-Dean I’m so sorry,” you whimpered. “I-I didn’t mean to, I just—“

“Hey hey, slow down.” Dean’s voice lowered, trying to ease your panic. “It’s alright, we’re almost at the motel. Now—“

“No, no! Dean, don’t go back to the motel.”

“Why not? Baby, you’ve gotta tell me what’s going on.”

“I got—I got arrested,” you mumbled, blinking back tears.

“You what?! Y/N, what happened?”

“You can’t go back to the motel! They-they saw all the pictures, they’re waiting there!”

“Ok, ok baby we’re not, calm down. Me and Sammy are gonna figure it out, ok? We’ll come and get you. We might need a diversion, can you do that?”

“I-I…” your voice quavered when an officer returned to the room, tapping his watch.

“Y/N, listen! I need you to pull yourself together, ok? Can you do this?”

“I-I can,” you breathed. “De, I’m—I’m scared.”

“I know baby,” Dean sighed. “We’re coming to get you, ok?”

“Time’s up,” the officer interrupted.

“I gotta go,” you said shakily into the phone.

“Ok, that’s ok,” Dean soothed. “I’m gonna see you in just a little while, ok?”

Before you could say anything, the officer took the phone from your grasp and hung it up.

…

When it was clear that you wouldn’t speak without a lawyer or guardian present, one of the nicer officers suggested that you could wait in his office where it was more comfortable. Even so, you were so wound up that when a branch hit the window you just about jumped out of your skin.

“Things would go so much easier for everyone if you just told us about the guys you were traveling with,” the officer said. You didn’t respond.

Bang! Scrape! The branch continued to hit the window.

“You’re just a kid. You probably won’t even serve jail time if you just tell us what those guys did.”

Scrape…bang…bang.

You sat up straighter in your seat as you began to listen more intently to the sounds the branch was making.

D…

Bang! Bang! Bang!

You knew it! Morse code!

E…

Bang! Scrape!

A…

Scrape, Bang!

Dean. He was here!

You tried not to let your emotions show on your face as fear once again clenched in your gut. If Dean was giving you this signal, that meant it was time for your diversion. You had to get this guy out of the room.

“I need another officer,” you said suddenly. The man’s eyebrows rose in surprise; he hadn’t expected you to speak.

“Another?”

“A woman,” you clarified. “I…I have a problem. If-if you get me a women officer, and she helps me with my…problem…” you made sure to make your pauses as awkward as possible so that the guy would get the message. “Then I’ll talk.”

“Oh!” That got the guy’s attention, whether because he wanted you to talk or because he was uncomfortable, you didn’t know. Either way it worked, and he disappeared out the door, closing it behind him.

As soon as he was gone, you jumped up on the chair you’d been sitting on and pulled open the window.

“Hey baby,” Dean‘s voice came from outside. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” you muttered nervously. “I-I don’t know if I can get out the window, the chair isn’t high enough.” The chair was just high enough for you to grab onto the window sill, but you weren’t strong enough to pull yourself up.

“That’s ok, I’m coming to get you.”

You looked up, trying to catch a glimpse of Dean through the window. He was climbing a tree just outside the window, and you jumped back in surprise when he leaped from the tree branch to the window. He pulled himself in easily, and dropped to the floor without making a sound.

You knew you were on a time-sensitive mission, but you couldn’t help yourself. As soon as Dean was in reach, you threw yourself into his arms. He staggered back slightly, lifting his hands to steady you by your shoulders.

“Ok, you’re ok kid,” he promised. “C’mon, we gotta get out of here.”

With Dean’s boost, you managed to climb through the window, but once you were through you became dizzy looking at the ground so far below.

“Kid come on, we gotta go!” Dean insisted.

“It-it’s too high,” you whimpered.

“No it’s not. Just lower yourself down by your arms and drop, it’s not too far I promise.”

You took a deep breath. If Dean said it was safe, then it had to be safe. It had to be. You put your palms on the windowsill, gripping it tightly as you slowly lowered yourself down. You were still a long way from the ground, but you could already hear Dean climbing up onto the chair. You couldn’t let him down, not after he did all this to save you from your own mess.

You closed your eyes tightly, took a deep breath…and dropped.

The second your feet hit the ground, you rolled in the grass, lessening the impact of the fall. Dean was right; you were ok.

Speaking of Dean, he followed right behind you, shooting you a grin as soon as he was on the ground next to you.

“See? That was easy. Now let’s get going.”

You were in the Impala and on the road before anyone had any idea you were gone.

To your surprise, Sam was sleeping soundly in the passenger’s seat. When Dean saw Sam was sleeping, he spoke up.

“Alright, let’s talk. What happened, kid?”

You lowered your gaze to your lap as you struggled to speak, the adrenaline of your capture and escape still making your heart pound.

“I just wanted to get some food.”

“Why didn’t you just wait?” Dean demanded, still annoyed.

“I wanted to help.” You mumbled.

“Ok,” Dean sighed, relenting. “But you can’t just do that, ok? We had no idea what happened to you.”

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was thick as you blinked rapidly.

“Ok, ok.”

You looked up in surprise when Dean pulled the Impala over.

“What—“

Dean stepped out of the car and pulled open your door.

“Come here.”

You stepped hesitantly out of the car, your legs shaking.

“Am I in trouble?”

“Baby,” Dean sighed, shaking his head as he pulled you into his arms.

You didn’t know where this sudden affection came from, but you decided to run with it.

“I’m really sorry,” you said, your tears suddenly spilling over. “I-I didn’t mean to make it all harder. I just—I just thought I could help.”

“I know you did,” Dean sighed. “But next time you gotta tell us, ok?”

“It was just a stupid supply run, and I couldn’t even do that right!”

“Ok, ok,” Dean cradled your head with his hand, pulling you against his chest as you cried harder. “It’s alright. We all screw up, ok? It’s not important. You’ll do better next time, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah. I will, I promise.”

Dean smiled as you pulled away.

“That’s my girl.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy

@mrvlxgrl

#dean winchester #dean and sam #dean winchester x reader #supernatural dean #the winchesters #dean winchester x you #winchesters x reader #winchesters x sister #dean winchester x little sister!reader #dean winchester x sister #dean winchester x sister!reader

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prodagustd · 4 months

Text

the road not taken 03 | myg

part three: four seconds

Summary: If you wanted to stop thinking about Yoongi, the first step was as easy as stop seeing him, but why it seemed like he was following everywhere you went?

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: slow burn,angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension!!!!! flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!

—words: 11k

—a/note: HERE IT ISSSSSSSS!!! I'm sosososos sorry for taking so long, but it is finally here!! I swear I will try and update monthly from now on, but enjoy this for now!! It has a lot of backstory so I hope you enjoy it. btw these last months I've been going to a poetry workshop so I was on fire writing this (ok maybe not since I took so long to finish it lmao). As always feedback is always welcomed, and if you want to discuss this part in the asks you're welcomed as well!! ilyyyy

series masterlist | teaser | playlist

Present

When Yoongi turned thirteen, your mother promised to bake a Batman cake as a gift for his birthday party. You had a clear memory of sitting at the counter the day before the party as she decorated the cake with yellow icing that tasted like just like bananas, and the next day when Yoongi gave you the first piece of cake you remembered thinking it was the best thing you’ve ever tasted. A few years ago, when Yoongi turned twenty three, you asked him if he remembered the taste of that cake, and, as he smoked what he swore it would be the last cigarette of his life, he said that he did not. At that time you asked him how it was possible that he didn’t remember the taste of some cake your mom made ten years ago, how was it possible that information of such importance had gone unnoticed? Looking back, you could say that it was not Yoongi’s fault, maybe you were the only one holding onto memories and he was as forgetful as everyone else. After all, Yoongi forgot he promised he would quit smoking that very same night, he would smoke his last cigarette only a year later, but even to this day you couldn’t forget the taste of that cake.

You were just beginning to realize you were condemned to be one of those people who just remembered. Like your aunt, who knew all the birthdays and all the deathdays, all your cousins’ first words, including yours, and was often caught reminiscing every detail of the day she met her husband thirty springs ago. Maybe it was in the family, and it was only a matter of time until you started speaking memories instead of words, so you tried to stop it, but they lived in your mind regardless if you decided to stop mentioning them out loud or not.

Like the perfume of your granddad that he only wore on Christmas, or the way blood and tears tasted the day you broke your teeth when you were eight and tried to play basketball with Yoongi and Simon but tripped. You sobbed like a baby, but Yoongi hugged you so tight that you forgot you were going to be toothless for the following month.

You collected the memories, the words, the smell and the taste, you held them close to your heart, stuck in your chest with a stake, forced to remember everything while everyone around you just forgot. And you didn’t complain, you couldn’t, why would you? Life was like that, happening in front of you as you stood in front of the body length mirror in your mother’s room, as you closed your eyes and tried to remember the yellow icing in Yoongi’s birthday cake, it happened in front of you as you tried to avoid it. You knew you had to stop lingering in the past when all those details, all those colors, and all those memories began to turn against you. Like every January, when your mind reminded you that your body was still stuck in the freezing cold of the morning you decided to leave home four years ago.

That morning, when you decided to go see Yoongi five days into the new year because he had barely texted you since the last day you saw him, January 2nd, when he received the news from his aunt that his mother had an accident during their trip. You walked to his apartment instead of driving because you didn’t think it was that cold, but you were immediately proven wrong when your hands started to get frozen and your feet began to hurt as you walked in the snow, but that didn’t stop you. He said he was going to be home for a second to grab some stuff and then come back to the hospital, where his mom was, so you were expecting the look of surprise on his face when he saw you at the door, what you weren’t expecting was the way he was hesitating to let you in. You remembered the things he did and the things he said that day like they were engraved in your memory, but mostly the way he was looking at you, like he wanted to run away, from you? from his life? You still didn’t know, all you knew is that after that you had no other option than to turn around and walk away.

When you thought about it for too long you could still feel the way the snow lingered all the way home in your clothes and hair, how it stayed on the sole of your shoes for the following years, how your tears froze in your cheeks because you refused to wipe them away. Sometimes you woke up in the middle of the night and could still feel the snow running down your back, making you wonder if winter was still chasing you.

Inside your body it had been winter for so long that your heart seemed to be completely frozen ever since you left home, only now that you were back you realized that perhaps autumn was not warm enough to heal your heart.

That was not the last time you saw Yoongi, but you believed it was the last time you decided to talk to him, the last time you allowed yourself to even lay eyes on him.

You wished you could find peace for at least a moment, but it seemed that you had to work hard for it, it was getting tiring to remember that you were the one who caused the chaos that was your life, and now you were the one who had to fix it: your mother, your brother, Ian and Sally, and even your public image. Doing the last button of your white shirt you asked the universe: why couldn’t those be all your problems? You swore to the man in the sky that if he sent you all your problems in the form of a giant monster you were willing to fight it, only if he could stop you from seeing Yoongi tonight.

Perhaps you should stay in your mom’s room tonight, not attending dinner was okay, your mom made that clear, but at the same time you were twenty five years old now, you couldn’t keep acting like an angry teenager who decided to skip dinner. You knew that it wasn’t going to make things better, but at least seeing your brother was going to make you feel normal, and that was the only reason you decided to set foot outside the room when you heard the bell ring.

Four years ago.

Two weeks before New Year’s Eve.

You should’ve known that it would be useless to stop thinking about what happened a week ago the minute you woke up in the same bed as Yoongi, but you still tried. You tried, and tried, and tried in countless ways, like for example, when you tried to watch a whole season of The Office in one sitting, or when you listened your mom rant about some turkish drama she was watching, or when Minnie texted a few days ago and you let her talk about that job she mentioned that night until you fell asleep. And then, you agreed to meet her for a coffee and she talked non stop about the same open audition four hours away in the city.

You were not sure if she was beginning to convince you or you were just desperately trying to stop thinking about Yoongi, you thought the only logical explanation for both theories was that you were about to go crazy.

But if you were being honest to yourself, you couldn’t help but be interested in it. Minnie pitched the job like a gothic dramatic love story, which sounded just like something you would love. She also said it wasn’t a super big play, but it wasn’t small either, and it was pretty well paid. Minnie mentioned she knew the producers and the director and could put on a good word for you.

“Why don’t you do it, then?” You had asked her, not being sure if you would do the same thing for someone who didn’t talk to you in years. “And why me?”

“Oh, well, I don’t know if it’s my style and… I’m not sure if I’m ready to leave home yet.” She replied with a nostalgic tone in her voice. “And why not you? I don’t know anyone who can pull it off, and you appeared in front of my eyes. Must be a sign.”

You couldn’t understand the first thing, how adamant she was to stay here, as much as you tried to see the world through her eyes, you couldn’t, a few years ago you took the first chance to get out of here and didn’t look back. But sitting there, at the small table next to the window, it wasn’t difficult to tell which one of you two looked more happy (hint: it wasn’t you). Minnie was different, she was still working at The Alley, she loved it there and wasn’t willing to let it go yet.

The second thing, you couldn’t understand either, but it made sense for her to do it. Being kind was natural for Minnie, she didn’t hold grudges, and you weren’t sure if you deserved that kindness. She waved away all your concerns, your whens and whys and hows, she kept repeating the same words; “it must be a sign”, “it’s clearly meant to be”, and you just laughed and tried to not to think about Yoongi. And it worked for a while, because on the way home you allowed yourself to fantasize about it for at least ten minutes. Moving to the city and working there for weeks and weeks and maybe months or years, and not having to pretend you were someone else. But the minute you entered your house you were reminded of what you were trying to forget.

The memory kept sneaking in your mind, just like Yoongi sneaked in your bed that night. The image of his hooded eyes, his pink lips and the reminder that nothing really happened kept wandering inside your head.

That night you entered the house giggling like babies and when both of you were changed and ready to sleep you got under the covers, not thinking whether it was right or wrong. And yes, your bed was big enough for you and him, but your arms and legs still slightly touched during the whole night, and when you woke up your feet where tangled with each other, leaving you wondering if you were stupid for thinking something had changed between the two of you, or maybe the way he looked at you when he opened his eyes was just your twisted imagination.

Yes, you were probably crazy when you thought he was looking at you differently when you made him breakfast, like you promised. You were crazy for thinking it felt like you were in a different universe when you sat in the kitchen island the whole morning and then found Nightmare Before Christmas on tv and discussed if it was a Christmas or a Hallowen movie on the couch.

And then, of course, he left, bringing you back to reality. But then during the week he came back, and then left again, and came back again. You knew you had to kick him out, you knew it was for the best to make up an excuse and say you were busy, but this time he promised to get your car repaired, so you let him take you to his uncle’s garage.

Yoongi’s uncle was nowhere to be found today, but Namjoon, Yoongi’s friend, was in charge, although he wasn’t very happy with people being loud while he was working. By the time Namjoon established he didn’t want any of you there at the garage, you had already decided you were staying.

You knew Namjoon ever since he started working with Yoongi’s uncle, he was a tall and big guy with a shy smile, he wore glasses and read books, he was funny and smart and you knew that he had more more than one girl waiting for him to text them back, and for some reason, despite being really handsome, and really cute, and really tall… he was still single. Not that you cared, of course, you were interested in… other people…You still allowed yourself to admire him, like when you watched that Turkish drama with your mom because you were trying not to think of Yoongi and the lead actor helped a lot with it.

Now you were there, sitting on top of some dirty table next to a bunch of tools you couldn’t name, trying to keep silent when Namjoon scolded you again.

Yoongi was very good at ignoring him, he pretended he didn’t listen to his friend as he leaned towards you, talking really close to your ear. “Should I give your grandma a Christmas present?” He asked, half joking, half serious. “You know, so she’s in a good mood.”

You turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “A bottle of klonopin, maybe.” You said, making Namjoon scoff loudly.

He turned around, now interested in the conversation, looking at you both. “Why do you want to give her grandma a Christmas present?” He asked, confused. One of the reasons why Namjoon didn’t like people talking while he was working was because he was easily distracted, when he was interested in the topic he didn’t seem too annoyed.

Yoongi turned around to face him, deciding his friend was there all of a sudden. “I’m spending Christmas with her family next week.” He explained, being kind enough to forget that Namjoon explicitly told him to shut the fuck up about twenty minutes ago. “But she’s a bit moody.”

That was one way to describe your grandmother, the other one was to say she was a complete witch.

“Yeah, Yoongi invited himself.” You teased him, instantly feeling one of his fingers digging into your rib, making you jump.

Namjoon quietly observed the scene like something he wasn’t supposed to watch, with his mouth hung open ready to say something, but his mind was still searching for words. You suspected that Yoongi’s answer left him with more doubts that he had to begin with.

“Really?” He managed to say, curious. “I didn’t know you two were… like that.” Namjoon cautiously started the sentence, but didn’t dare to finish it in case he was wrong, although the scene you were making was clearly making him believe he was right.

You jumped in your seat, opening your eyes widely as you understood what he was implying. “Oh, no.” You rushed to say, waving your hands in the air.

“No, not like that.” Yoongi talked at the same time as you, crossing looks as if you were reassuring each other of it. His eyes were as open as yours, shaking his head trying to deny the accusation. “My mom is not here until the first week of January.” He explained, making Namjoon nod, still confused at your nervous reactions. “So I’m alone at Christmas.”

Yoongi looked at you, giving a look that meant “it makes sense, right?” and yes, of course it made sense. You and Yoongi had spent Christmas together before, he knew your whole family since he was a kid, he grew up with Simon, he was family too, it made sense, but Namjoon’s implication made both of you jump in your seats, talking over each other as you laughed nervously.

“So all of you three are spending Christmas together?” Namjoon continued to ask, trying to understand the conversation again. “You two and Simon?”

There was a beat of silence in the room, but you were quick to answer. “Simon is spending Christmas with his girlfriend, so we're on our own.”

Namjoon nodded again, trying not to think too much about it. “So Simon is okay with you keeping all his gifts?” He tried to joke, but the answer only sounded worse.

You looked at Yoongi, but he was looking at his shoes, avoiding Namjoon’s eyes. Neither of you bothered to mention to Simon that you were spending Christmas together, was it really necessary? Why was Namjoon making it sound like it was necessary for him to know? Why did you feel the need to explain to him that it wasn’t weird at all that you were spending Christmas together alone? You weren’t alone after all, there was your mom, and your grandmother, your aunt and some of your cousins too, I mean, you’ll have to share the room, of course, but- wait… You had to share the room. You forgot about that.

Oh my God… Simon couldn’t find out about that.

You were quick to suppress the thought, agreeing with yourself to handle that matter later, but right now Namjoon was looking at you like he expected an answer. You quickly realized that Namjoon was just as noisy as you.

“Oh, he doesn’t need to know.” You said, brushing it off, but your mind was already in chaos.

Present

You were never really interested in astrology, you tried to get into it a few years ago only to understand what Minnie was saying since she talked about it most of the time, but you ended up being too skeptical to believe in anything. You didn’t believe in God, or in astrology and you weren’t even sure if you could call yourself an atheist completely, but you were still curious. Early in life you realized you were agnostic, (you were aware that you sounded like a pretentious man on a first date when you said it out loud), but you still asked every person you met their star signs in case they matched with their personalities, as if you were still trying to prove yourself wrong.

You didn’t know if the universe was right or wrong, but if you were sure about something, it was that Simon was a Leo. Not only because he was born on the first of August, but because he fitted in every category of a Leo. He was charming and confident, outgoing, he was a natural leader and people always felt drawn to him, making him a little bit… self centered.

Like every other Leo, Simon loved his birthday, that was the only reason why you were thinking about it. Two months ago, the first of August, you called him on his birthday like every sister calls her brother on his birthday. You could’ve just sent a message like the past year, but your life was already beginning to feel suffocating. Talking to Simon seemed to ease your heart for a while. He wanted to talk to you about his job at the firm and his girlfriend, the cat they adopted, how they were planning to move to a bigger apartment the following year and asked when you thought it was a great time to propose. You needed to feel like something was in place, like your relationship with Simon was normal, like he could tell you anything and you could listen and just laugh. It worked for the first ten minutes, until he inevitably brought up the topic of his birthday party, and he inevitably invited you, and you inevitably had to say no.

You missed Simon, you missed your mom, you missed your bed and your home, but you weren’t ready to come back, you weren’t ready to see the thousand faces you left behind, you were still hesitant to come back. Now you were there, tense at the end of the stairs because the disappointed tone on his voice lingered in your mind to this day.

Some voice in your head was telling you that it was what adults do, take responsibility for their actions, seeing people even if you preferred not to see them because that was what grown ups do. You were supposed to be an adult of twenty five years old, even if you felt like you never grew out of that bitter phase only teenagers go through, you were still an adult, so why did you feel like a kid at the end of the stairs, waiting for Simon to lay eyes on you?

Your mom hugged him tightly like she hadn’t seen him in months, and when he pulled away from her grip he noticed you, coming down the stairs as you realized that he, like your mom, wasn’t expecting to see you today.

Simon frowned, surprised, but just a second later a smile took over his face “Hey, you.” He said, opening his wide arms, offering you a hug. “What are you doing here?”

You took a deep breath, almost turning around to check if he was talking to another person behind you, but no, he was talking to you. He grabbed your wrists, pulling you closer to hug you the same way your mom was hugging him a moment ago. “Is this not my house?” You murmured against the fabric of his blue sweater, feeling your heart hammering against your ribcage as you tried to make a joke.

“Of course it is.” He just said, leaving a kiss on your hair.

Four years ago.

Two weeks before New Year’s Eve.

If you wanted to stop thinking about Yoongi, the first step was as easy as stop seeing him, because your mind was not helping at all.

After leaving his uncle’s garage you should’ve gone home to start thinking a way of telling Yoongi that he couldn’t sleep in the same bedroom as you on Christmas, you needed to think of an excuse for why he should sleep in your grandma’s one thousand year old couch instead of Simon’s empty bed, which was casually right next to yours.

The following step should be to watch some romcom with Heath Ledger and try to forget the way Yoongi rolled up his sleeves when he was pretending to help Namjoon with your car, or at least the way you stared like an idiot for a good moment before snapping out of it.

He should’ve gone home too, he had no business walking in the same direction as you if his apartment was towards the other end of the street. It didn’t take you long to realize he was following you “for some coffee, since we’re cold”, as he said, already assuming that you didn’t have any plans (he wasn’t wrong).

You didn’t want to chase him away, you were still working on that thing of not being a bitch, and while there was a rational part of you that knew that you were better off not seeing Yoongi, there also was a part of you who couldn’t get enough of him. A better explanation was that you might be a masochist.

The garage wasn’t far from home, but you were walking fast as if you were trying to lose him in the way.

“Is Namjoon still single?” You wondered out loud, trying to redirect your thoughts somewhere far away from him. At least for now it didn’t seem that difficult, you remembered the sweet smile of Yoongi’s friend and the way he lifted his glasses with his finger up to the bridge of his nose. Was he really shy or was he just faking it so girls thought he was cute? Either way, it was working.

“What?” Yoongi raised his voice, frowning at you.

You frowned back at him “I asked if Namjoon is still single.” You repeated, but you were sure he heard it right. “How come he’s still single?”

The wind hit your face, so you made yourself small in your jacket, scanning the street for any cars before crossing in the middle of the street. Yoongi followed you without hesitation, running to the other side of the street before you left him behind.

“Why…?” He yelled, trying to catch up with you, but when he was next to you he lowered his voice “Why do you care?”

The question sounded strange coming out of his lips, but you ignored his tone, turning your head. “I’m curious.” You just said, but he still couldn't shake the strange look on his face. “What?” You pushed his shoulder “Don’t look at me that way.”

“I’m not looking at you in any way.” He defended himself.

He was clearly looking at you in some way, you just didn’t know which. You winced, trying to brush it off “I’m just asking…” You murmured “He’s really cute, don’t you think? He works at the garage, he wears glasses, he’s got cute dimples. How is he still single?”

“It seems like you gave him a good look.” He mumbled under his breath, taking his eyes off you.

“I’m just a very observant girl.” You argued. “C’mon, you didn’t think about it? I’ve never seen Namjoon with a girl…” You kept wondering, staying silent as Yoongi, for some reason, refused to keep this conversation going. You still didn’t know how Simon and Yoongi were such good friends, Simon always knew everything about everyone, how was it possible that Yoongi refused to even discuss the reason for Namjoon's long singleness? Or maybe Yoongi was keeping the reason as a secret, maybe it was something no one was supposed to know. Suddenly, you connected two and two together, interpreting Yoongi’s reluctance in the most logical way. You gasped “Oh! Or is he…?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, making a sound of annoyance when he realized you were still talking about the same thing. “No, he’s not gay, Pinky.” He sighed “He’s just not into dating.”

You turned the corner of the street, making Yoongi follow you. “Like my brother?” You asked, remember how everyone said the same thing about Simon.

He snorted “No, not like your brother.” He said “Simon was a mess… Namjoon is just a shy guy.”

You arched an eyebrow. That was the lamest excuse ever, it wasn’t enough explanation for you. Maybe Yoongi was right and Namjoon was just-a-shy-guy, or maybe Yoongi didn’t know the real reason why he has been single for years because men never communicate their feelings with each other, maybe Namjoon was dating his first love for years until she broke her heart, making him never want to date again, or maybe…

“Stop.” He said, interrupting your train of thought. Now it was his turn to push your shoulder “Don’t even think about it.”

He gave you a warning look, which made you confused for a moment… Wait, what was he thinking? Did Yoongi confuse your nosiness for something else? Did something that you said made him think your intentions were different? … Was he really thinking you were interested in Namjoon?

You pursed your lips, trying to contain your laugh. You could explain to Yoongi that he misunderstood you and deny every accusation, but something inside you told you that the current scenario was more fun.

“I’m not thinking about anything.” You said, faking innocence, and even if you really weren't he looked at you like he didn’t believe you.

“Yeah, right.” He huffed “Didn’t sound like that.”

“Really? How did it sound, then?” You teased him “Enlighten me.”

Yoongi did not say another word after that, refusing to follow your game. You've known him for longer than you could remember —literally, he said he remembered meeting you when he was four and Simon invited him into the house so he could meet his new baby sister, but you had no recall of it—, even so, you had no memory of him ever being mad at you, not even slightly annoyed, so you were a bit confused when his expression remained serious for the rest of the walk home. Was it so bad to show interest in Namjoon?

“Don’t even think about it.” What did that even mean?

Present

You were trying to avoid the memory of Ian’s proposal for weeks now. It was painted in your mind, the excited look on his face, his mom’s ring on his hand, the flowers, the cool white lights, the ringing in your ears that warned you something was wrong. You remembered wondering if he knew that you read all those texts he sent to other women, if he knew how ridiculous everything looked. It still made you cringe when you accidently thought about it. Did he really think you were the same as him?… Weren’t you different?

Despite being the most embarrassing moment of your life to date, you weren’t trying to hide it, you were planning to tell your family about it when the time was right. Like tonight, for example. You thought you could talk to them about it, that you could have time to explain everything, to apologize for not saying anything, maybe for a couple other things too… But your plan was ruined the moment your mom told you she had planned a dinner in your absence on the same day you arrived.

Now Simon was looking at you like you were thirteen and you got your heart broken for the first time. He rested his elbows on the table you and him just set, sighing. You were aware that the rest of the guests were on their way, but you tried to ignore it. It wasn’t that difficult since Simon’s thoughts were echoing in the room, making you shift in your seat. Of course Simon already knew about it, you were sure he already read it in some tabloid before you got the chance to tell him first.

“Stop doing that.” You said, breaking the silence. He didn’t seem surprised, but still narrowed his eyes, trying to play dumb.

“Doing what?”

You weren’t sure what he was doing exactly, maybe you were just imagining the way he was looking at you: with pity, but it was annoying you, and he knew that, perhaps it was the reaction he was expecting from you. He was laughing five minutes ago, making fun of you when he saw you trip on the step of the entrance to the kitchen like nothing changed between the two of you, but now he was sitting in silence as if he was preparing you to ask you the question.

You wished Florence, Simon’s girlfriend, were here. She would fill the uncomfortable silences with gossip about the neighbors and ignore the elephant in the room. She was away visiting her family, so instead you were there with him as he tried to play the big brother role, but failed terribly.

“Are you going to ask me about it?” You asked, not hesitating.

Simon let your question linger in the air, pretending you didn’t just read his mind. There were only a few people you could say you knew like the palm of your hand, one of them was your brother. Even if you spent years separated, you’ve always been as thick as thieves, you still saw right through Simon, and the only problem with that was that he saw right through you as well.

“Are you going to tell the truth?” He calmly asked, enjoying the look on your face when he heard you gasp, offended.

It hurt to know how implicit it was that you hadn’t been honest these past years, it was easy to catch you off guard. While you were out in the world, away from your family, Simon stayed here and visited your mom every sunday and tried to ignore the fact that you didn’t answer any of their messages that week, saying that you were busy working when you really were trying to avoid invitations for the next weekend. It was obvious that Simon was the one that spent more time with your mom, you thought about that the second he used the same tone as her when she was scolding you.

You crossed your arms over your chest, frowning “Maybe, I can think about it.” You said in the same tone as him. Simon just scoffed, shaking his head.

“Fine. That was too much to ask for, I guess.” He snarked, mocking you “I have a simpler question… are you okay?”

Despite his attempt to appear casual and keep bickering, his concern was evident. That question could have felt like a caress to the soul, a sigh of relief, the feeling of home, but instead it felt like Simon had punched you in the stomach, leaving you without air. How easy it was to fight with Simon, how easy would’ve been for you if he didn’t hug you when he saw you thirty minutes ago. It would’ve been less difficult than witnessing his blue eyes showing you mercy. It was clear that he cared for you, but you weren't sure if you deserved it, not from him of all people.

“Simon…” You murmured, shaking your head. It was an easy question, but difficult to answer knowing this wasn’t the right moment, this wasn’t how you planned things.

“What?” He questioned, reading your mind “I’m not asking you just because I have to, I’m not waiting for you to lie to me and tell me that you’re alright so I can forget about it, I care.”

“I know you care.” You breathed out “It’s just…” You sighed, vacillating “Listen… I haven’t- I’m not okay, really… But I can manage. I just feel like this is not the right moment to talk about it.” You looked at the entrance of the door and his sorry eyes followed, understanding what you meant. Simon nodded, but he didn’t stop looking at you like you were a wounded animal.

“That’s fine, I understand.” He murmured “That’s what I wanted to know. I was just wondering if you were going to be okay tonight.”

“I’ll be fine, as long as I don’t have to talk about myself. We’ll have time for that” You assured him.

“Are you sure?” He continued to question, doubting you.

You squinted your eyes “Yes, I'm sure, Simon.” You said, annoyed, even if you couldn’t blame him for not trusting your word. “I’m not planning to run away.”

“Not again?” He tried to joke, but you didn’t dare to laugh.

“I assure you, not again.” You rolled your eyes, hating that that was the image your brother had of you, hating to know that he was right. “You can stop looking at me like I’m a lost puppy now, I’m not a lost puppy.”

He scoffed “Are you not a lost puppy?” He asked “Where are you sleeping tonight?”

You frowned, offended “Here, of course… I mean, on the couch probably, but here.” You tried to defend yourself, but you immediately realized that your room was still a mess, and instead of cleaning a bit before dinner, you spent the whole afternoon sleeping.

His lips curved into a mocking smile, knowing that there wasn’t much difference between you and a lost puppy. “You can sleep at mine.” He offered.

“I wasn’t asking” You resisted, too proud to say yes right away.

“I know.” He said, and he shushed you to stop you from talking, pretending that it was the end of the discussion.

You shook your head, trying to reject those kind gestures you didn’t deserve. You opened your mouth, willing to keep arguing with your brother until you heard the bell ringing for the second time this evening, making you almost jump in your seat.

Your mom yelled from the kitchen, announcing that she was getting the door followed by the sound of her noisy shoes making their way to the door. It happened in a matter of seconds, you heard your mom rushing to the hall and opening the door, you heard muffled sounds, mixed voices, your mom greeting the guests while you waited on your chair as Simon turned his head over his shoulder, expectantly observing the entrance of the dining room.

Then, you heard steps approaching, laughter and chatter, but something else was happening in your head, something that was restricting you from hearing clearly —from thinking clearly—.

You fixed your eyes on the door, wishing no one appeared for as long as they could delay the arrival, but soon your field of vision was occupied by a short woman with curly hair and pearls in her ears. Nari, Yoongi’s mom, watched her step while she supported herself with a cane as she entered the room. Nari was just a few years older than your mom, but since the accident four years ago it has been difficult for her to walk without help, that’s why you and your brother both stood up at the same time to help her get to a seat faster.

The sound of both of your chairs being pushed back and your brother’s rushed steps filled the room. Simon was quicker than you, he approached Nari, smiling and saying hello as he grabbed one of her hands to help her find a seat.

You were not hearing anything clearly, but you were sure that Nari was complaining and telling Simon that she did not need any help, but he ignored her as he asked for her coat so he could hang it on the coat rack next to the door.

You felt clumsy, awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do with yourself for the next four seconds. Four seconds that could’ve been four years, because when you lifted your gaze you realized you were standing face to face with Yoongi. An older Yoongi, a Yoongi you haven’t seen before, even if you didn’t remember when was the last time you dared to look him in the eyes, you were sure that back then he looked very different than tonight. His hair was longer, it was pushed back like he ran his finger through it, he was dressed like he just got home from work, a white dress shirt, slacks and a long black winter coat. He was dressed like an adult, a version of him that you never met and maybe never will. His gaze met yours the same way everything met you: by accident. He was not expecting to see you tonight, you knew that, now he was looking at you the same way you were looking at him, like he saw a ghost, maybe you were, maybe he was.

Yoongi opened his mouth to say something, and you had exactly one second to prepare for what he was about to say next, but you didn’t.

“Oh, Pinky.” Two words escaped his lips, tripping over each other as surprise and regret took over his features. He immediately realized he said something he wasn’t supposed to, but you still couldn’t hear clearly, you weren’t sure if you heard that right.

The nickname sent a chill down your spine, you couldn’t answer to it, and he knew it. It was like he said some forbidden word to make you freeze in your place. You couldn’t help but feel like the dumbest person on earth.

You had been thinking the whole afternoon about it, trying to think of ways of looking unbothered when Yoongi showed up tonight, but it took one stupid word for you to stop functioning normally. You wanted to say something, say hi to him and forget that he even dared to call you like that, but you refused to do it.

“Sweetheart! What are you doing here?” Suddenly, your ears were working again. Nari’s high pitched voice snapped you out of your trance, making you look away from her son’s face. It was like she didn’t notice your presence until Yoongi called you by that stupid nickname “I didn’t know you were coming!”

She attempted to stand up again, but you rushed to meet her so she wouldn’t move from her chair to let her pull you into a tight embrace. You took advantage of it, there were no more places to hide in this house, not your mom’s room or behind your brother, so you closed your eyes, hugging her back.

It was only then when you realized how much you missed being hugged like that, you remembered how much you missed such affection. Especially from her, who was always so loving to you, it was a shame that you couldn’t look her son in the eyes.

You shook those thoughts away, acting like his presence didn’t affect you. “I told my mom!” You explained “But she forgot, can you believe it?”

“She should've told me.” She said, pulling away to cup your face in her hands “I haven’t seen you in so long, angel, you look beautiful!”

“Not as much as you do, Nari, are you wearing makeup?” You tried to joke, making her giggle.

“No, darling, I don’t need that stuff.” She shook her head. “C’mon, sit next to me, we have to catch up!”

Four years ago

Seven days before New Year’s Eve.

There definitely was a logical reason why you and Yoongi were locked in the tiniest closet of your Grandma's enormous house.

The answer was somewhere in your mind, somewhere deep where your brain functioned just fine, somewhere where you weren’t trapped between Yoongi’s body and some shelf that was digging on your shoulder blade.

You were looking at each other in silence while you heard your name being called from downstairs. The palm of your hand was covering his mouth, preventing him from saying another word and his fist was clenched around your shirt to maintain his balance. You were trying to ignore how his knuckles were digging on the skin of your stomach, or how his chest was pressed against yours or the way his knee was digging in your inner thigh to keep you from crashing against the shelves full of cleaning products.

You looked at him through your eyelashes, quietly observing how his hair fell on his eyes like a curtain. You took a deep breath, thinking of the reason why you were there in the first place, which was… uhm… uh…

Oh yes! You were hiding. Yes, you were hiding from your grandmother, that was why.

This morning Yoongi showed up at your house to pick you and your mother up in his car. He was wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap with the name of his college on it. He smiled cheekily as he helped you put your bags in the trunk and you rolled your eyes when he opened the door of the passenger seat for you. Your mother was delighted, not only because she didn’t have to drive for two hours to your grandmother’s house, but also because Yoongi had that effect on everyone… including you.

Of course your grandmother loved Yoongi as well. Through her eyes, he was like another version of Simon; he was studying the same thing, he was about to graduate just like him, of course she was delighted to welcome Yoongi with open arms. You weren’t saying that you were not welcomed, or that your grandmother didn’t love you, but you were never received the same way. Yes, she hugged you and kissed you and told you she missed you, but that didn’t mean that later on she would not make comments on the way you dressed, or the way you laughed, or whether you should eat another gingerbread cookie or not.

You could endure all those things, you always did, it was nothing new to you. What you could not endure, howerever, was another second in the presence of your grandmother talking about her neighbor’s daughter. You hardly knew Aria, —the tall and blonde girl with gorgeous blue eyes that was sitting in the living room next to your grandmother— but you knew pretty much everything about her since your grandmother insisted on comparing you to her.

Ever since you were a kid your grandmother liked to compare you to every other girl of your age. You were sure Aria was a nice girl, it wasn’t her fault your grandmother was such a bitch, but you weren’t in the mood to face her today, especially when Simon wasn’t around. You knew she was coming with her family, since your grandma loved to invite the whole neighborhood when the holidays arrived, so when you heard your name being called from downstairs so you would come down and greet the guests, you hid in the nearest room of the house, the cleaning closet towards the end of the hall on the second floor.

After a few seconds you stopped hearing your mother calling for you, but then you started hearing Yoongi, approaching in the hallway as he was looking for you in the room you were staying in. You quickly opened the door, grabbed him by his arms and dragged him into the room with you.

You resolved that problem, the next step was figuring out how you would get out of the current situation.

Yoongi gently grabbed your wrist, removing the hand you were using to cover his mouth. “Aren’t you a little dramatic?” He whispered, completely ignoring the short distance that separated your face from his.

Yoongi’s breath smelled like the red wine he was drinking during lunch, and that should send some alert to your mind to warn you that he shouldn't be this close to you, but your brain seemed to be functioning on a different astral plane, and it was pretty much only focused on Yoongi’s lips.

You felt his hand opening to let go of your crumpled shirt, but then he slowly slid it back to your waist, grabbing you gently.

You gulped.

That seemed completely normal.

“Of course I am.” You whispered back, and you congratulated yourself for being able to speak. “That’s why I am hiding in a closet.”

“And you dragged me with you.” He remarked.

“You were screaming my name, you were going to give me away.” You accused him, digging a finger on his chest.

He nodded, pretending that what you just said made sense “Right, I get it. So… why are you hiding here instead of your room?” He said, emphasizing his words.

You took a quick look around the tiny dark room that wasn’t made to have two people in it. It smelled like bleach and it was full of brooms and dust. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to hide but it seemed like no one opened this room for the last four weeks, so it was safe. You returned your eyes to his face, biting your bottom lip. “My room wasn’t safe.” You explained, dead serious. “Do you think they stopped looking for me already?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes “You sound like someone is trying to kill you.”

Well, no. No one was trying to kill you, but why did you feel the need to run away as if someone was?

“No, it’s worse. If they find me I would have to tell everybody that I dropped out of college.” You effused, making him shake his head in disbelief “You are supposed to be here to support me, aren’t you?” You tried to remind him.

“I am here to support you.” He emphasized. “I am hiding in a closet with you, aren’t I?” You kept silent, knowing he was right. “But you can’t run away from everything, especially if it’s not worth the run, we’ll leave eventually and you’ll forget about your grandma for the rest of the year.”

You sighed, defeated. “I still don’t want to see fucking Aria.”

He scoffed, biting his lip to contain a laugh. “We don’t have to talk to her, we can just say hello and leave.” He said “I mean, but first we have to get out of here.”

He looked around, signaling the room you were squeezed in. He was right, again, he always was. You knew that it was absurd that you were hiding here in the first place, but something inside you urged you to stay there for a few seconds longer. Now you didn’t know if you wanted to stay there to avoid the guests or because you were getting too comfortable in his arms (you already knew the answer).

You had no idea what was happening in Yoongi’s mind, but you were too busy swimming in the warm brown of his eyes to even care, you were too busy dreaming to be interested in what this meant.

You must’ve been long gone for a few seconds, because you were only made aware that you’ve been silent for a while when you heard his soft voice.

“Pinky,” He called for you, pulling you out of the haze of your mind, but the thing that finally snapped you out of it was when you were suddenly caught off guard when you, out of nowhere, felt his hand touching your face, squeezing your cheeks between his fingers “are we going to stop hiding or not?” He calmly asked, making your heart skip a beat.

You blinked, feeling your knees getting weak. If you were speechless before, now you have become completely mute.

What. Was. He. Doing.

And what was he playing?

You couldn’t miss the way his eyes shined in the dark and how your heart swirled in your chest, becoming small the second you watched a flash of a smirk tugging at the corner of his pink lips. Was he fucking laughing at you?

And why were you standing there with your mouth hung open, racking your brain for something to say? Your mind couldn’t process if he was just playing with you, not right now, not ever. You didn’t know what game he was playing, but you decided you were not letting him win regardless. You grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand away from your face.

“Don’t treat me like a baby…” You said in a low voice, but you didn’t know what you were talking about anymore. Everything stopped making sense the moment you dragged him into this room.

He squeezed your waist, digging his fingers on your skin over your cotton shirt. “But you sound like a baby.” He murmured, leaning over you just enough to make your noses brush with each other.

Your heart dropped to your stomach, leaving you without air. God, you felt sick. This wasn’t real, this was a product of your imagination, like every single second you spent with Yoongi these last weeks. “Yoongi…” You whispered, trying to warn him, but instead it sounded like you were pleading. You might as well have done both; warning him because if he didn’t stop you would start believing whatever he was doing, and pleading because you were not sure if you could take it.

He freed himself from your grasp, grazing his thumb along your jaw bone. You couldn’t recall a time, not even in your darkest dreams, where he touched you like that.

“What?” He whispered back, his voice hoarse. “What are you going to do?”

The room laid in profound silence for a moment, the weight of your heart suffocated you and the urge to answer him, to smack him in the face, to run away, increased in your chest. You held your breath, watching him open his mouth about to say something, but then the room shook when someone knocked on the door like they were about to knock it down, being followed by the strong sound of your mom’s voice, making you jump away from him.

“Dear, don’t tell me you’re there again.” She yelled loud enough for the whole block to hear, knocking again for good measure.

Yoongi’s arms fell on each side of his body, and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He lifted an eyebrow, ignoring what just happened. “Again, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing his chest to keep a proper distance between your body and his “Shut up.” You gritted your teeth, refusing to acknowledge the warm temperature of your face. You hated to see that there was no trace of embarrassment on his features, just pure amusement. Meanwhile, you didn’t need a mirror to know how red your cheeks were.

Three more knocks. “C’mon, get out there already!” Your mother kept yelling.

When you finally turned around and opened the door, your mother’s gaze fell upon you, looking at you with everything but surprise. It wasn’t the first time you hid there, you did it a couple times when you were a kid and fought with Simon. Your mother was well aware of your hiding place, you just expected her to think you were too old to be found here again.

The surprise came after, when her eyes caught a sigh of another face in the dark. She knew you were going to be hidden here, what she didn’t expect was to find Yoongi right next to you, maybe way too close to each other.

Her eyes widened, out of words “Oh, dear,... Yoongi… Uh, I didn’t- I didn’t know you were both here...” The sentence died in your mother’s lips, but you ignored her reaction, you stepped out of the room, fanning yourself with your hand to cool down and storming out of the situation.

“Sorry, I was dragged into this, Lila.” Yoongi explained, sounding way more composed than you, but the situation didn’t look good for either of you.

“Well, I can only imagine…” She said, but you did not miss her undertone.

You walked back to what was supposed to be your room (and Yoongi’s), leaving both of them behind.

“Your daughter can be very persuasive.” He continued to explain, his voice following you.

A low hum of your mom finished the conversation, she left trying to put together what she just saw, and you hurried your pace so you could lock yourself in the room and leave him outside.

“Pinky!” He exclaimed, stopping you at the door frame.

You needed a second alone, but he was not willing to give it to you.

You turned around, exasperated “What!?” You snapped, but he didn’t care one bit.

“Didn’t you want to get out of here?”

Present

The day Ian came to your apartment to pick up the last box with his things, you finally called your mother to tell her you and him had broken up. You had only told Minnie by then, but it got stuck in your throat for two weeks, ready to be vomited at any moment.

Your mother always said that it was important to grieve things, to be mad about them, to be sad, to cry about them, otherwise you were going to carry that weight while pretending to be okay until, someday, it would explode in your face in the worst possible way. When you broke up with Ian you patiently waited for the tears, for the pain in your chest, for the sad memories of three years with him to arrive one night at three am. You waited for the grief in your car when some sappy love song started playing, or when you went for the groceries and came face to face with the huge advertisement with his face on it, but it never came.

You had an affection for Ian that was not easy to understand, but you liked his company, you liked his unconventional jokes, that he was politically incorrect, that he laughed in the worst moments, but you were never sure you loved him, were you a horrible person for that? For not feeling bad, for not crying for him?

When your mom picked up the phone and you told her why you called, you broke down crying before finishing the sentence, you felt all the emotions stacking up your throat as you sobbed uncontrollably. You soon realized you weren’t crying for Ian, you weren’t crying because you missed him, not even for the proposal, you were crying because you needed a hug from your mom and she was four hours away.

“Women grieve during the relationship.” Minnie theorized when you told her that you didn’t feel bad for Ian “It’s normal if you don’t miss him.”

Maybe she was right, but maybe you were not grieving your relationship with Ian, but the person you were before leaving home.

Now that you were there, sitting at the table with the people that have always been your family, you knew that you were supposed to feel at ease, but the anxiety you felt at the thought of someone mentioning the big break up, as Minnie called it, was stronger. You knew everyone knew, and you knew everyone was thinking about it. Everyone but you, because you were a bit too distracted with a certain someone sitting across the table, just in front of you. A certain someone who couldn’t stop crossing looks with you.

“Aren’t they planning to make a movie about that?” You heard Simon ask, shaking off your thoughts.

As much as you wished not to be the center of attention, you should’ve known that none of your wishes would come true tonight, because every topic, every question, every comment was being redirected at you and your life in the city.

You weren’t paying much attention to the conversation, but you were sure they were talking about a play you starred in two years ago, which contained one of your most acclaimed performances. You remembered those days with pure contentment and pride, but you had numerous reasons for not wanting to talk about it.

“So I’ve heard.” You just said, looking at the half eaten portion of lasagna on your plate.

“Shouldn’t you be in it?” Nari asked this time “You were wonderful in that.”

You smiled, shrugging. “Thanks, but if they don’t offer it to me beforehand I would have to audition again. It’s a different process of casting I suppose.”

You heard almost everyone humming in response, and felt a pair of eyes fixed on the side of your face that you were still trying to ignore. In that moment you decided you would not concede said eyes another single glance tonight, as if you could ever keep your promises.

“But wouldn’t you like to be in it?” Your mom nonchalantly asked “If it were the same casting, I mean.”

You looked at her for a moment, expecting her to realize what she was asking, but she didn’t. You knew she had no business remembering every play you’ve been in, or every casting, or every detail of the life you decided to never share, but you still waited for a moment, expecting her to remember that in that very same play you ended up killing Ian’s character by stabbing him in the heart.

Nothing like reality, you thought.

“Not really.” You chuckled, bitterly “Some things are made to be done just once, it might wear off.”

You breathed out, thinking that you successfully avoided the topic without having to give any explanations.

But of course, once again, you were wrong.

“Oh, sorry, baby.” Your mother backtracked “I forgot you were there with…”

The name died on her throat, immediately knowing that the comment was unnecessary.

You pursed your lips, shaking your head “It’s fine…”

The conversation could have followed its course then, you could have changed the topic yourself, you could have perfectly saved the conversation by making something up, but Nari was quicker.

“Oh, darling, I’m sorry about that, I just heard about it this morning.” She followed your mom, giving you the condolences as if someone just died. “I had no idea.”

“Mom…” You heard Yoongi’s voice echoing in the room as a warning, and without noticing, your gaze landed on him again for a brief moment, immediately breaking your promise. You mentally cursed yourself, taking your eyes off him when he offered an apologetic smile.

Nari looked at him, annoyed at him for scolding her, “I’m just saying, I hope you’re okay, I know it’s not easy.”

“Mom.” Yoongi spoke again, this time more insistent, but his mother paid it no mind.

“It’s okay.” You said without looking at him “I’m okay, things like this happen.”

You didn’t know what things you were referring to, if the break up, the proposal, the leaked pictures, the fact that your ex boyfriend stabbed you in the back. Things like that did not happened everyday, you weren’t supposed to get used to them, but you acted like you already were.

She nodded, looking at you with eyes full of concern. “I was so surprised, honestly. Didn’t you want to get married?”

The directness of the question caught you off guard, so you couldn’t help but chuckle nervously. Everyone could sense how invasive and personal was the question, but the fact that she wasn’t trying to tip-toe around you made you smile softly. You loved Nari, and you knew she meant no harm, so, only for now, you decided to answer with the truth.

“Well, yes, someday.” You quietly professed, the words leaving your mouth like a sigh “But with the right person.”

That was enough to end the conversation, she smiled at you the same way you smiled at her and you could swear she could sense the pain in your heart, not because of Ian, but because of everything else.

Then, Phil began talking about something else and everyone joined the conversation, too scared of saying something wrong and making you cry, but you were still stuck in the moment. After some minutes, when you felt the ache in your chest increasing, you excused yourself and left the table to exit the house through the back door in the kitchen.

You took a deep breath, letting the cold air fill your lungs as you closed the door behind you. You sat at the bench next to Phil’s plants, trying to catch your breath. You were sure you were about to find a home somewhere, you found yourself surrounded by everything that used to feel like it, but you still felt like a foreign person, you still felt like a stranger, a traitor. You couldn’t find the person you were, or the fragments that you didn’t make disappear.

You weren’t strong enough yet, you understood that now. The wind in your hair reminded you that you still tried, but the lack of air in your lungs just told you how immature you still were. Still, you were mindful none of this would be easy, but you just needed a few seconds to compose yourself and then you could come back to the dining room to finish your lasagna. That sounded just fine.

When you were about to get up from your seat, you heard it. The creaking sound of the back door opening, you observed the trace of warm light that came from inside, and then, you heard that voice again.

Inevitably, your eyes met him again, whose head was peeking to verify if you were outside, and when he saw that you were, in fact, there, he closed the door behind him, leaving the two of you alone in the cold darkness of the night. What was he doing?

“You’re here.” Yoongi’s words were accompanied by some misty breath, lingering in the air before disappearing. You lowered your gaze, nervously looking at your feet. ‘You’re here’, he said, and for some reason he sounded relieved.

You were confused, you didn’t understand why he chose to follow you to the backyard, but he invited himself to stay there, leaning on the wall far enough from you.

“It’s cold here.” He announced, trying to dissipate the tension you were creating by staying silent.

You nodded your head, agreeing, but you believed you shouldn’t even grant him that.

Yoongi sighed, “I’m sorry about my mom,” He finally said “I’m sure it wasn’t her intention to put you in an uncomfortable situation.” You tried not to roll your eyes. Was that was he doing? Playing the role of an advocate? “She didn’t mean to sound rude or anything, she just has no filter.”

“It’s okay, I know.” You murmured under your breath. “It wasn’t her fault, it’s just me.”

He kept quiet, he didn’t seem too content with that answer but what could he do about it? You both knew it was the only thing you were going to tell him.

“Fine, but… you shouldn’t be out here… without a coat.” He awkwardly said, making you frown “It’s cold.”

You suppress the urge to punch him in the face, instead, you put your hands between your thighs because he was right, it was cold and you didn’t have a coat on, if you stayed too long outside you were going to get sick.

“I know it’s cold.” You acknowledged “I’m going inside in a second.”

You waited patiently for him to leave, expecting those words to be enough for him to leave you alone for a few more seconds, but he didn’t. He stood there, in the other corner of the porch looking at you like he had something else to say. You didn’t care, you wanted to not care, it was meaningless.

“Are you… I just, uhm… Are you okay?” He stumbled over his words, but you dismissed the way your heart clenched in response.

“Yoongi…” You groaned, intending to sound annoyed at him, but the name came out of your voice like something intimate, something like a secret, it echoed in the air, resonating with the same tenderness that he pronounced your nickname upon seeing you tonight.

“What? I mean-”

“I’m okay, I’ll be there in an instant.” You interrupted him. He didn’t have another option but to agree.

He made his way to the door, but lingered in there for a moment. With one hand on the doorknob, he glanced longingly at you as if he was expecting you to stop him. “You can go now.” You rushed him.

“I know, I know, sorry.” He said, knowing he was caught. “I’m just glad to see you, that's all.”

Before you even got the chance to curse him, he disappeared through the door like nothing happened, once again.

taglist: @kingofbodyrolls @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @yoongisoftface @namgihours @honsoolgloss @idkjustlovingbts @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @heroinanne @mortal-body-timelesssoul @hiii-priestess @wii-wii @jungkookies1002 @busanbby-jjk @acquiescence804

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primehyuck · 1 year

Text

MOVES

aka good things take time (the happy ending version)

word count: 11.3k

i first started writing this because i’ve been listening to the song Moves by Suki Waterhouse on repeat, but it became much more than that

contents: long time best friend!haechan, slice of life, pining and yearning, chronological time jumps (mostly college and young adulthood), other members mentioned (Mark and Jeno!roommates), kissing, fluff, wet dreams, a good example of two people who seriously need to communicate, face sitting, morning sex, lots of pet names

“Do you think we’ll be friends for a long time?” Haechan’s soft voice distracts your attempt to focus on a blade of the blurry ceiling fan, unable to keep you cool despite it spinning so fast you think it might fly away.

“How do you mean?” the bed squeaks when Haechan sits up to lean over you.

“Growing up, I feel like my parents didn’t have many friends aside from each other. My mom told me that it’s because when you get older your priorities change and you realize who adds value to your life, and that’s who you decide to keep.” His eyes are glowing with sincerity, body blocking the flow of air from touching you at all “so when we’re older, and married with kids and other priorities, and we maybe live in different cities, do you think we’ll still be friends?”

You stare at him for a moment before shoving his face out of the way of the fans air stream.

“Definitely,” your confidence soothes him enough that he lays back down “if I ever muster up the creativity to come up with a reason to stop being your friend, you have to swear you’ll tell me how stupid I’m being, swear to me.” you smack his chest before he can even answer.

“I swear!” He smiles to himself, staring up at the ceiling with you, rubbing his hand over the warm spot where your hand made contact, melting into the mattress.

———

Growing up people always joked that Haechan and you would fall in love, that it was inevitable, practical even. Because, if you fall in love with your best friend you’ve already conquered one of the highest mountains - finding someone that you like, and who likes you back.

You had both seen the other in a relationship, an inevitability when you’ve been friends with someone since puberty. He’d cheered you on when you had your first kiss during a game of spin the bottle in high school, forced you to come out on double dates with him and a friend of his you didn’t even like just so he could take someone else out, and freshman year of college he’d even introduced you to the person you'd lost your virginity to.

The only time he cockblocked you was when you tried to get to know any of his friends more than platonically, so eventually you gave up and settled for real friendship with all of them.

“Trust me, you don’t want to touch him with a six foot pole.” He’d said freshman year when you had mentioned your attraction to his roommate, Mark.

“He seems so nice, though.” you pouted

“He is nice, but that doesn’t mean you want to be with him.”

“How would you know what I want?” you scoffed, and he looked at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Has the wind beneath my wings ever led you into the wrong arms?” He was highly animated, offended that you would question his judgment.

By the start of sophomore year it was obvious to everyone else that you were strictly off limits. All of his friends had decided unanimously that even if you did attempt anything with them they had no choice but to shut you down. The cold stare Haechan unknowingly serves them from across the room whenever they got too close was enough to keep them away. None of the boys ever minded the boundaries with you, there always was an ease in your friendship since they all knew it could never go further, but that didn’t mean they never thought about the possibility.

One night, at the end of junior year, Haechan is nowhere to be found at his own party and you graciously accept Jeno’s invitation upstairs when you complain of a headache, “we can play Mario Kart, and it won’t be all competitive like when Haechan plays with us.”

It starts like normal, and you're having fun when you realize that your tipsy brain can’t focus on the screen and the conversation simultaneously, opting for the latter as you relax into Jeno’s pillows. You don’t even notice him inching closer to you until his nose touches yours, tugging at a strand of your hair. This is the first time any of Haechan’s friends have shown interest in you, you’d never even been on the receiving end of a flirtatious stare from across the beer pong table, so you take the reins.

Kissing Jeno feels a little bit like winning, like you’ve finally made it past the invisible forcefield Haechan had put up around his friends. The kiss is lazy and hot, Jeno props himself up on one elbow and presses your back into the mattress with his chest. Your eager fingers run beneath his shirt, his abs tightening when you trail them over his sides. Your spine tingles when he groans into your mouth, the hand on your cheek moving to grip your knee and hike your leg over his hip. His hand holds strong around your thigh, and you sigh when he grinds into you.

Jeno pulls away too soon, stopping your hands reaching for the hem of his shirt with a pained sigh as he drops your leg to roll onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes.

“Fuck, I should not be doing this with you.”

“Why, you don’t want to?” You want to curl into yourself, sitting up to stare down at his shaking head.

“No, definitely not that.” he pulls his arm away to meet your eyes, the alcohol in his veins making him brave enough to admit “Haechan would be pissed.”

“Haechan?” you question “did he say something to you?” Jeno groans, sitting up and hooking his elbows around his knees, staring at the mattress between his legs.

“No, no. He’s never actually said anything,” he knows he’s revealing too much, but he also knows he’s gone too far to stop “we just know he would never want us to cross that line with you.”

“We?” you can feel embarrassment bubbling in your chest at the idea of all of your friends talking about this.

“Yeah, you know, all the guys. We figured you were just off limits, I don’t know.” he grimaces, looking up at you with apologetic eyes when you don’t respond. You huff and climb off the bed, feeling rejected in more ways than one.

You’d crossed a boundary tonight, but Jeno was still a close friend, someone you’d spent a lot of time with since he met Haechan freshman year. He still knows you, so he grabs your wrist before you can leave, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed so he can stand you between his legs.

“I’m sorry, don’t be mad.” He envelops your hands in his and brings them to his chest.

“I’m not mad,” you mumble, avoiding his apologetic gaze “I’m embarrassed that all of my friends agreed not to touch me.”

“Did you really think not a single one of us was ever interested in you?” you shrug and he squeezes your hands tighter, heart tugging in his chest.

“When people don’t act interested, that’s usually a safe assumption.” you pout and Jeno’s laugh buzzes through your linked fingers "I gave up on all of you halfway through freshman year."

“Well, some of us are better actors than I remember.”

He has you laughing by the time you leave his room, sealing the night with one more self indulgent kiss and a pinky swear to never tell Haechan about what happened.

———

Halfway through the first semester of senior year Haechan bangs angrily on his roommates door before swinging it open and Jeno is genuinely shocked that it's taken this long for the gossip to hit his ears. The rest of the boys had clocked Jeno the next morning for being ‘too happy’ and he had to make them all swear not to tell, wanting to protect your pride and his own friendship with Haechan.

"You slut!" Haechan points an accusatory finger in Jeno's direction, dragging his feet slowly toward him until he's so close Jeno has to bat his hand out of his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about." Haechan's voice is low and angry, something new and unpleasant sparking in his gut at the idea of Jeno kissing you, touching you.

"No, I don't." Jeno can’t help but antagonize. Pleased with the perfect opportunity to trick Haechan into saying out loud what everyone else seems to have known for years.

"You kissed my best friend!" He shrieks, tossing his hands up in the air dramatically.

"So what, she's not allowed to kiss people?" Haechan squints his eyes at Jeno’s response, scrunching his nose in annoyance “how did you even find out?”

"She can kiss whoever she wants, it's all of you that aren't allowed to kiss her." Haechan waves his hand wildly toward the bedroom door, alluding to the large group of boys living in the house “you know Mark can’t keep a secret, he’s been bursting at the seams for months. All I had to do was ask.”

"It happened forever ago dude, why are you so pissed? You've never even given us a chance to get close to her in that way, maybe one of us could really like her." Jeno reasons, tugging at Haechan's strings, watching the gears in his brain turn as he tries to come up with a real argument.

"She has a boyfriend," Haechan finally says with a frown at the thought of the guy he’d only recently met, he doesn’t like him at all. From his stupid hair to the shoes he wears, there’s not a thing about your new boyfriend that Haechan thinks is good enough for you. He collapses into the gaming chair across from where Jeno is relaxed on the couch, not having moved at all since Haechan stormed in "plus, I think any of you would know by now, you've all known her for four years."

"I think, that it can take a lot longer than four years to realize how much you like someone." Jeno bites, "how long have you known her?"

"Since middle school." He picks at the hole in the knee of his black jeans, realizing what Jeno is alluding to, defensive exterior quickly crumbling.

"Right, I think that if you're blind enough then it can take ten years to realize how much you like someone."

"Well, maybe ten years is too long and that person missed their chance." Haechan turns his head to stare out the window, anxiously spinning the chair side to side.

"You know I'm talking about you, right?"

"God, yes, I know you're talking about me." Haechan glares at his friend, fidgeting stopping abruptly "and I know I've been a complete idiot about it, but like I said, I’m out of time."

———

Haechan can’t stop his free hand from clenching and unclenching as you sob into your pillow, his less angry hand rubbing over your back.

“He told me he saw us moving in together after graduation,” your voice shakes “how do you look someone in the eyes and say shit like that and then sleep with someone else?”

“I don’t know,” Haechan replies earnestly, feeling as helpful as flip flops in the snow from where he sits on the edge of your mattress “I’m so sorry.”

He takes your silence as an invitation, lying on his stomach, face turned toward you, fingers still drawing soothing circles over your shoulder blades. He waits patiently for you to calm down, unease swarming his stomach knowing that even after years of friendship he can’t truly comfort you in this moment.

“I’m so embarrassed.” you sniffle, smearing your face over your pillow before turning to look at him. He holds his breath, waiting for you to collect yourself enough to explain.

“I’m so gullible, he even told me he’s cheated in the past and for whatever reason I believed that he’d treat me differently, that he’d love me enough.” Haechan has to count to five in his head to stay calm before he speaks.

“You have no reason to be embarrassed. The most natural thing you can do is believe someone when they say they love you.” He murmurs, turning onto his side so he can pull you into a hug. When you curl into his body to bury your face in his chest he can only pray you can’t hear his heart pound against his ribs.

“He’s an idiot, and he didn’t deserve any of the love you gave him. I promise, you’re so much better off.”

Haechan hates the piece of himself that’s relieved your relationship has ended. The same piece that hated your ex the minute he met him, that feels heavy in your absence whenever you’re busy with anyone who isn’t him. The piece that crosses it’s fingers whenever you get this close in hopes that you’ll be the first one to cross the line, to finally do what he’s thought about doing for the last few months since he realized exactly how he felt about you.

“Thank you,” you mumble into his tear dampened shirt, lifting your leg over his to cuddle in even closer “thanks for always being my friend, even when I do dumb shit, like let boys be mean to me.”

He nuzzles his nose into your scalp, eyes fluttering shut at the smell of your shampoo “Thanks for letting me. Besides, even Beyoncé got cheated on, so you clearly aren’t that dumb.” the crowd in his brain cheers when you giggle into his chest.

“You’re so annoying.” He holds you even tighter.

———

“I can’t believe it,” your jaw drops and Haechan whips his head up nervously to look at you from across the couch

“What happened?”

“I got it, I got the job!” you shove his feet off your lap to jump up excitedly, bouncing on your toes as you read the email out loud. Haechan’s ears are ringing so loud he barely catches the first half, trying to shake off the dazed look he’s sure appears on his face.

“We were extremely impressed with your resume and even more so with the impression you left on the board during your interview, blah blah blah, excited to offer you this position, blah blah blah, and a relocation bonus to join us in in our new office!” the pitch of your voice rises a few octaves as you finish reading.

Haechan stares at you from his spot on the couch, eyes wide with shock that you’re too excited to notice, skimming your screen as you re-read the details in your offer letter.

His entire body is buzzing, torn between feeling excited at your accomplishment and sorry for himself.

He had a plan, a really good one, he thought. After your breakup you’d made it painfully clear that you wanted to be single for a while, and he knew if he could just be patient, it would all be worth it. So Haechan decided to bottle his feelings up, sitting patiently by your side where he had been for so many years, waiting for you to heal and hoping that when you were finally ready to start dating again he’d have mustered up the courage to make the first move.

“Lee Donghyuck, are you even listening to me!?” you drop your phone to pull him up off the couch, bouncing up and down with your fingers intertwined “I’m moving to my dream city, to start my dream job.” you reiterate and he snaps out of it, sweeping the imaginary shards of glass that his plan had been made out of under the rug and pulling you into a hug.

“That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you.”

“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.” You deadpan, but squeeze him back just as tight.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to miss you is all.” He admits, "I'd follow you if my job didn't keep me here."

“I’ll make sure you don’t miss me too much, don’t worry.” you plant your cheek on his chest, surprised at the relief you feel in hearing him say it first.

———

This feeling was still a little unfamiliar, nerves. Haechan had never made you nervous growing up; excited, annoyed, passionate maybe, but never nervous.

The nerves began last summer, when he’d come out to visit you for the first time to celebrate his birthday. It was the longest you’d gone without seeing each other since you’d met, almost ten full months and the anticipation was palpable.

When he steps through the airport doors you think that it’s the relief of finally being near him again that knocks the wind out of you. Running into his open arms and being squeezed so tightly in them that you tap his shoulder to let you breathe. Ruffling his hair when he steps back and ignoring the fact that he had grown so much since you’d seen him last.

But as the night goes on, the slight changes to the person you have memorized become glaringly obvious. The way his cheeks have lost some of their cushion, revealing a sharp jaw and pointed cheekbones. The natural wave in his once unruly hair now falling perfectly over his brow bone, he had dyed it a little darker which made his tan skin glow even in dim lighting. Even his smell seemed to draw you into a trance, a much more expensive version of the Haechan you know.

“You know, that group of girls has been staring over at you since we walked in.” You raise your eyebrows playfully, pointing your glass toward the pretty gaggle that keeps walking past the booth you and Haechan occupy.

He doesn’t break eye contact with you before shrugging, “I didn’t come here to see them, I came to see you.” he smiles, punctuating his thought by reaching over the table and tapping your nose.

“I know, I know,” you laugh, batting him away “It never hurts to know when people are staring, though”

His face is unreadable as he rests his arm lazily up over the bench of the booth, body sinking into the seat while he lifts his glass to swirl his drink, biting the words that have been resting on the tip of his tongue the entire trip, and at the end of every phone call since you started your new job.

“How are you, seriously.” You push. In the time since you moved he’d started and ended a relationship with a girl that you’d never met. Your new job kept you so busy that you hadn’t even learned about the breakup until a week later, when you finally had the time to call him back. The guilt of your absence weighs you down, resenting your inability to be there for him the way he had been for you in the past.

“I’m over it, seriously.” You know he’s telling the truth, but it’s in your nature to pry.

“You never really talked about, why, you know.”

“Do I have to?”

“No, I’m sorry, I just feel so behind on your life.” You sigh and push your empty glass to the side, swirling your finger in the ring of cold water it leaves behind.

“It’s okay, really. You’ve been busy, I understand.” He reaches across the table to stop your anxious fingers “I didn’t love her the way I knew I should, that’s all. It’s a good thing that it ended, and I’m happy that it did.”

“That’s all that matters, then.” and he’s grateful that you drop the subject.

You eventually get back to your apartment, both giggly and flush from the alcohol still fogging your brain despite the long walk you'd hoped would lessen it. Haechan holds your hand the whole way back, even when he stops suddenly to pet a dog, dragging you down to the ground with him. He can’t help himself, grateful that at this point you'd touched one another in every way other than what he dreams about most, and you seem oblivious to his need to be so close to you.

As you get ready for bed he lets himself watch you undress facing the wall away from him, unaware of his gaze burning into your backside and the way his fingers tingle at the thought of pulling at the meat of your hips. He scolds his heart for thudding so loud when you squeeze your eyes into a smile at his reflection standing next to yours at the sink while you brush your teeth, the domestication of your friendship that he used to appreciate now suffocating him.

You put on a movie and invite him to rest his head on the pillow in your lap, wishing he could bury his nose into the skin of your thighs beneath it. Halfway through the movie he has to sit up to hide the way his cock is hardening at the feeling of your nails combing through his hair and down his shoulder, occasionally thrumming over his chest. He pulls a blanket off the back of the couch and tosses it over his legs as casually as possible, pulling you into his side by your shoulder, the other arm stretched across the back of the couch.

"Are you cold for the first time in your life?" Haechan never wants to use a blanket, but you’re grateful for the position giving you access to bury your face into his chest, gripping his shirt.

"No, just want to be warmer." he presses a blushing cheek onto the top of your head, trying to think of anything except the way your hair smells, or the feeling of the side of your breast brushing his wrist through your shirt. Haechan feels eighteen again and like he's discovering the connection between romantic and sexual feelings for the first time in his life. He tries to match his breathing to yours, holding his breath whenever you shift in his hold and reconnecting his stomach with your back as quickly as possible. The temptation to pour his heart out is overwhelming, but when he feels your body completely relax into his and your breathing slow down, the words become trapped in his throat, so he lets you sleep.

Haechan had never experienced a shorter 48 hours than that weekend he spent following you around the city you now call home.

You’re shining in your new space, and he happily trails behind you to all the places you’ve discovered in the almost year since you moved. His stomach does somersaults whenever you point something out that reminds you of him.

“I’ve been waiting to come here until you could come with me!” you're so excited to take him to the video game themed coffee shop that your co-workers had recommended “I thought about coming to see if it was even worth it, but I only want to play these kinds of games with you anyway.”

Sometimes he can forget about his feelings for you, when things are just as they always have been. You talk with and touch him the same, laugh at his jokes the same. He thinks that if he were to ever say out loud what he’s been feeling, that the two of you would still be the same but with a little More, ‘you guys’ but on steroids. So when everything is normal he can pretend like it‘a not. He can act like the More is there when you hold his hand to drag him around to the different machines, play games he wants to play even if you don’t want to, you even wipe ice cream off of his chin when his cone starts to melt because he’s talking too much to eat and he wonders why it took him so long to see it this way, and if you could too.

He keeps thinking the moment will come, when he’ll know spilling his guts to you is the right thing to do. But between you gushing over how much you love your new life and your willingness to point out every girl who has blinked at him this weekend, he completely loses the steam he’d gained during his flight, regardless of how his imagination runs wild with the More.

He curses himself the entire weekend for his lack of bravery, hoping that keeping his feelings in is the right decision. After his recent relationship crashed and burned because of his feelings for you he thought he had no choice but to come clean. But watching you, being with you in your new life makes him realize that his role in it hasn’t changed even if his feelings for you have.

The lump in his throat as he stands outside the departure doors is more than just sadness at the thought of leaving you, it’s the realization that he has to let the romantic idea of you go.

“How come you never cry when we have to leave each other,” you hiccup into his chest, and he coos your name lovingly.

“Don’t worry, you know I save my tears for the plane to make everyone in my row uncomfortable.” He knows that you hate that he’s making you laugh at a time like this, pulling away so you can swat his chest and he raises his hands in surrender.

“When will we be able to see each other again?”

“As soon as possible.” He nods reassuringly, wiping your tears with his thumb, heart pounding as he stares into your watering eyes “hey, you’re my best friend in the world, you annoy me every day, and I love you.”

“Whatever, I love you too.” you laugh, but his heart speeds up at the words that you’ve said to him thousands of times. You sweep your arms around him one last time before pushing him toward the airport doors “you better go, if you miss your flight I can’t guarantee I’ll let you leave at all.”

“Don’t tempt me.” He walks backwards slowly, staring at you with a ‘kicked puppy’ kind of face he mastered years ago and you wave enthusiastically, blowing loud kisses into the air that he catches and clutches to his heart.

“This is it,” he thinks, “this has to be it.”

———

Haechan is dreaming about you. He has been nightly ever since he got back from his birthday weekend. He’s grateful the dreams have variety, since some of them overwhelm him to the point of waking up and not being able to fall back asleep.

Sometimes, you’re young again and whenever anyone says “You know, it’s just a matter of time until one of you has a crush on the other.” you both theatrically gag, laughing at each other as if it were the most insane idea in the world. Or, you're sitting on his childhood couch watching your guys' favorite movie for the hundredth weekend in a row, vocalizing the parts of the two main characters and recreating all the best scenes.

Sometimes you’re at his apartment just hanging out together, which are dreams that feel so real he almost expects to see you in his kitchen when he wakes up. Most of these dreams spark a deja vu laced flame in his gut so deep he finds himself confusing them with memories. The ache of missing you wakes him up before his alarm some mornings, and he finds himself face timing you once he knows you're awake just to watch you make coffee and wash your face.

But sometimes, he has dreams that make him feel so ashamed he can barely text you back in the morning. Dreams where he reaches to touch you and you let him, where you tug at his hair and moan his name while he does all the things that he can only do to you in his sleep. He hates to say that these are his favorite, but it's the one dream he knows he'll never actually achieve and he goes to bed every night praying for them.

That’s the kind of dream he’s having when his phone buzzes him awake. He answers without looking because there are only a handful of people who can reach him when he’s on ‘do not disturb’, and you’re one of them. He hums a sleepy greeting into his phone, putting it on speaker next to his pillow and nearly drifting right back into the dream and between your thighs.

“Donghyuck” his eyes shoot open at the sound of your voice “did i wake you up?”

He can practically hear the pout in your voice, squinting at the time on his phone, “Yes, it’s three in the morning,” he stares down to where he’s half hard, running an embarrassed hand over his face even though there’s no possible way for you to know “are you okay?”

“No, well technically yes but I miss you which means things could be better.” you slur your words and Haechan smiles, somehow he's never annoyed that you call him pretty much every time you drink. He thinks it's because he's familiar with this version of you, though he definitely hasn't seen it often since college graduation. This version of you loves him hard, and is never afraid to say it.

"I miss you too," he takes a beat before adding "I was dreaming about you just now."

You gasp excitedly "Really! What were we doing." He smirks at the thought of telling you that you had been sitting on his face, hand reaching back for his cock while he guides your cunt over his tongue until you were shaking above him.

"Just, hanging out." he shrugs. It's his second time this week alone dreaming of your clit bumping his nose, and the thought makes his mouth water.

"I don't believe you." You say accusingly "that's way too boring for a mind like yours to dream up."

"What exactly is my mind like?" He yawns, throwing his forearm over his eyes.

"Oh, you know," you hum "your mind is a galaxy, with at least a billion planets and twice as many stars. I wish I could fly into your head and explore it, but NASA doesn't have the funds."

Haechan holds his breath at your compliment, the smile on his face so wide he can hear it in his own voice "That sounds like an episode of Magic School Bus."

"Your brain is definitely cooler than some cartoon, it's pretty much my favorite place on Earth."

"How would you know, you've never actually been inside?" He shakes his head, teasing you gently. Hearing words like these come out of your mouth breaks his heart and glues it back together at the same time.

"Are you saying you never think about me?" you ask him, not an ounce of sarcasm in your voice.

"I think about you all the time, I promise, all the planets in my brain are shaped like you." You hum, pleased with his response. He shuts his eyes and waits for your answer.

"Yeah, all the planets in mine are shaped like you, too." you pause for a second and add "plus all the stars, I win, I think about you more."

———

This time when Haechan comes to visit you, you know the nerves are more than just excitement at seeing your best friend. It’s a feeling that is nestled so deep in your stomach it makes you a little nauseous. You haven't seen him since you went home for the holidays and he only has one night in the city. You find yourself grueling over your reflection in the mirror, not used to being self conscious in front of him. You’re only going out for happy hour, but you put yourself together to last all night.

When Haechan finally arrives he whistles lowly, making you blush when he pulls out of your hug and requests a spin.

“I appreciate that you got so dressed up for me.” He teases, hoping you don’t catch his eyes sweeping over your legs, wanting to commit you in this dress to memory.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you roll your eyes as if you hadn’t spent the last two hours making sure you looked as perfect as possible. Hoping he doesn’t see the pile of clothes shoved into your closet from all the failed attempts.

“Never,” he grabs your purse off of the counter and opens the door, sweeping his arm out in front of him dramatically “after you. There are some strangers outside who are waiting to catch a glimpse of you, they just don’t know it yet.”

“You are so dramatic.” You lock the door behind you, using the moment facing away from him to collect yourself. Lately you catch yourself wondering if he'd always been so flirtatious, or if you're just forcing meaning behind his words because of how badly you want him to be.

“What, a guy can’t compliment his best friend?”

You smile widely at him and grab your bag out of his grasp, popping your key inside and walking toward the entrance of your building. Praying your fingers stop shaking when you finally get a drink in you. Haechan throws his arm around your shoulders while you walk down the street to your favorite cocktail bar and you're grateful for his usual chatter, talking to you about work and his slow climb up the ladder.

“They put me in a hotel this time, so you don’t have to worry about making me breakfast in the morning.” He smiles at you, sipping his drink gingerly.

“You know I never cook you breakfast.” He feels so far away across the table and you wish that you were sitting next to him instead, shoulders cold without the weight of his arm around them. It feels so good to have him touch you, to feel like you're his. There's a small part of you that feels guilty for using his knack for physical affection to your advantage, he has no idea what the heat of his skin on yours does.

“I know, but all the meetings are in the hotel anyway so it’s easier this time to just stay there.”

You try not to let yourself visibly deflate at the news, wanting to keep him for yourself the whole time he’s in town. His knee presses against yours under the table and you focus all your energy into acting the way you would have before, but you can’t focus on anything else and cross your legs to pull away from him as casually as possible. As badly as you want to touch him, sometimes you can’t.

“What time do you have to be up?”

He groans, leaning back enough that his knee now slides against your shin, “too early,” and glances down at his now empty glass, motioning to the bartender for another “which means you need to drink faster, so I can stop at a reasonable hour.”

You smile, downing the rest of your drink in one gulp, when his foot taps against yours you know it's going to be a long night.

The end of the night finds you together on your couch with a shared bottle of wine sitting empty on the coffee table, his early meetings temporarily forgotten. You and Haechan have been in this position plenty of times, drunk, slap happy and overly touchy in a way that you had always been comfortable being with one another. The difference now is you, this version of you who wants your best friend in an entirely different way.

Every time he pulls you closer you feel electricity shoot straight to your heart so intensely that you have to duck out of his grasp. You don’t know what to do with the feelings that have been growing gradually from your toes up, now practically sprouting out of your scalp with a neon sign blinking “I’m in love with you” over and over.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Haechan whines when you all but flinch away from his hand reaching for his phone near your arm. He’d been aware of it all night, the space you left between the two of you while you walked back from the bar, your sudden inability to maintain the eye contact that he craved. The complete lack of physical touch makes him feel dejected.

“Doing what?” You give him a panicked look, practically sober at the thought of being found out, of what it would feel like to be rejected by him.

“You’re not letting me touch you,” he frowns, and the alcohol buzzes through your veins again “not that you need to let me, but you only avoid it like this when you’re upset. Did I do something?” he pouts, tired eyes low when he flops his head onto his bicep resting on the back of the couch. You forget to breathe for a second when he looks up at you under dark lashes.

“I’m not upset. I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” you’re lying through your teeth, but scoot an inch closer to him to make your point. He doesn’t look convinced, and if you’d had less to drink you may have noticed the mischievous glint in his eye before he grabs you by your arm, knocking you off balance and into his chest.

“See,” he sighs happily, wrapping his arms around your body and you can feel his chest buzz when he hums, cheek pressed to the top of your head. You have no choice but to ungracefully shift your lower body closer to him, making yourself a sponge and soaking in his familiar touch “isn’t that better?”

You nod, “Yes, it is better.” and you really wish he didn’t know you so well, that even in his fifth hour of being drunk he can read your mind. He pulls your ear off his heart to grab your cheeks, smushing them together and whispering your name with a shake of his head.

“What is it?” he urges, and you wrap your fingers around his wrist to loosen his grip. You shut your eyes, take a deep breath and count to three in your head before you can talk yourself out of leaning forward and pressing your lips to his.

You feel him falter for a half second before he’s kissing you back, pulling your face closer and pushing his body toward yours. You can’t hear anything over the blood rushing in your ears when his tongue touches yours, and then suddenly his mouth is gone. He moves so quick you have to put your arms out to stop yourself from face planting into the cushion he had just been sitting on.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” you gasp “i shouldn’t have done that, Haechan, I’m so sorry.”

It takes everything in you to look up to where he’s now standing with his arms crossed over his chest protectively. You have no idea what he’s thinking, staring down at you with wide eyes. Insecurity sweeps through you under his intense gaze, and you almost beg him to say something.

“I’m seeing someone,” the way the confession rings in your ears would have you believing that he screamed the words, but his voice was barely above a whisper “shit, I’m sorry.”

You aren’t sure if it’s your life that flashes before your eyes, or your years of friendship with him, at this point the two tend to blur together.

“That’s-” you sit back on your calves and inhale shakily, knowing it’s not even worth it to attempt to fake any sort of excitement for him “why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugs, swallowing thickly and pulling his eyes away from your face to stare at the ceiling “It’s new and I didn’t know how. It just never came up.”

“Well then, I’m sorry that it didn’t. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what came over me.” grateful that he’s finally the one avoiding eye contact with you so he doesn’t see your legs wobble when you stand “probably best to pretend that never happened. I’m just drunk and I missed you-”

Your name sounds so pathetic when he says it this time and you think it’s the eighth wonder of the natural world that you haven’t started crying yet. You shake your head instead, wishing so desperately that you had changed out of the dress you were wearing as you pull the slinky material down your thighs.

“Honestly, Haechan,” You regret your next words before they even hit the air “you should probably go. You have an early morning.”

The shock on his face pains you, but you can’t stand to see what you can only assume is pity growing in his eyes for another second.

“I don’t want to go, I want to talk about this.”

“I’m sorry.” you say again and his shoulders slump in defeat, recognizing that you’d made up your mind.

“It’s okay.” He means it, shuffling forward and the look on your face is nearly enough to bring him to his knees. His breath catches when you shift away the inch he moved toward you, eyes locked on his and he can see the desperation in them before he hears it in your voice.

“Text me when you get to the hotel?” your voice cracks with a heavy mix of exhaustion and embarrassment that makes him nods once, grabbing his things and walking slowly toward your door. He turns to look at you, but his words catch in his throat when he sees your eyes begin to water, mustering up all his energy to offer what he prays is a reassuring smile before letting himself out.

You sink back into the couch when the door clicks shut, head hanging in your hands as the tears finally start to flow. You cry so hard you feel like you could throw up, replaying his rejection over and over in your mind, shame and regret coursing through your veins. Pure embarrassment heats your body at the look on his face when he told you he was seeing someone, and you’re not sure if it was disgust or pity in his eyes.

On top of the rejection, knowing that he didn’t feel like he could share something as big as meeting someone with you was a dagger to the heart, up until recently you had never kept a secret from him, and even this one you clearly couldn’t keep in for long.

You force yourself into the shower, scrubbing angrily at your skin under the scalding water. You get out once your fingers have pruned and your skin feels raw, avoiding the mirror on your way to your bedroom. You kick angrily at the dress you'd left on the floor, watching it land near the pile of outfits you had discarded while getting ready.

Haechan had texted you nearly thirty minutes earlier

“made it back”

you give it a thumbs up before turning your phone off, setting an alarm with the clock on your side table and letting the emotional exhaustion lull you to sleep.

------

Haechan is realizing that there is no way in hell that you need space more than he needs to talk to you. He tries to call you multiple times the first week after you kissed him but you never answered, and Haechan doesn’t want to push you to the point of no return. What he really wants is to go back in time and not leave you that night, but the pain in your eyes was so pronounced he couldn't bare to make it any worse. The only physical proof that you had kissed him at all being the stupid blue thumbs up on the text he had sent you that night. It's followed by a slew of reassuring texts, saying that he broke up with his girlfriend and if you would please just talk to him, that he's not mad.

This is the feeling he carries with him nearly two weeks later on the flight to you, when he’s sure that another minute of silence from you will kill him. By the time he gets to your apartment it’s almost midnight, so he knocks loud enough to wake you up.

When you open the door in a shirt he thinks might be his, Haechan knows he has no choice. He's speaking before you can say anything, before he can change his mind.

"I came here to tell you that I think you're being really stupid." He curses internally for the obvious nerves in his voice, your tired eyes widen with shock at his words.

"Excuse me?"

"Years ago you made me swear that I would tell you if you ever came up with a reason not to be my friend anymore. So I'm telling you now, I think you're being really fucking stupid."

"I'm not doing that" You defend yourself, tearing up at the sight of him. He pushes into your apartment, shutting the door behind him and standing close enough to touch. He’s staring you down with pleading eyes, and you bury your face in your hands so you don’t have to look at him.

“Then why are you ignoring me? Why won’t you let me fix this?”

“I don’t know I just,” you inhale shakily “I don't know how to do it right now, not like this."

"Like what?" He hopes he already knows the answer, but needs to hear you say it, to know that you’re as serious as he is. Your mouth feels full of cotton when he forces you to look at him by whispering your name, pulling your hands from your face and his heart pinches tightly at the tears welling in your eyes "please tell me, please. Like what?"

"You already know," your bottom lip betrays you, voice weak beneath heavy emotion when you speak "I love you, Haechan. I'm in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I fucked everything up, but I can’t undo it."

He feels his lungs fill with relief. Haechan steps forward to close the small gap between your bodies, grabbing your jaw to rest his forehead against yours. You falter, but his hand on the small of your back keeps you from going anywhere, he's practically panting and you can barely stand, dizzy with the feeling of him. You want to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming when he whispers "You didn't fuck anything up."

He ghosts his lips over yours for a moment until he's sure you're not going to stop him. When he finally kisses you it's with years of pent up adoration, directing your arms around his neck and pressing his thumb firmly into your jaw, long fingers wrapping around the side of your throat. He practically whines when your fingers tighten in his hair and your lips part for his warm tongue. His arm wraps around your waist so tightly you have to hinge backward to keep your mouths connected, gasping at the strength you didn't know he had.

He keeps your stomach flush to his own and kisses you until you're practically limp in his arms, pulling away to breathe. His eyes are shut as he rubs his nose over yours

"I love you, too. I've been meaning to tell you for a while." All the blood rushes into your ears at his words and you can't stop your biggest worry from spilling into the air.

“What if you change your mind?”

“I made up my mind a long time ago, there's nothing you could do to change it." He blinks his eyes open, pulling his face away from yours just enough to see you, the trepidation in your eyes makes him say your name quietly.

"It's only me, you know me," he assures you in a hushed tone "you have to know by now that you are my entire world."

You could laugh, only him, as if he hasn’t been one of the most important people in your life since the day you met. As if he isn’t someone who has seen you at every stage of it so far. It’s Haechan, who has always been funny, who has witnessed the worst sides of you and never made you feel bad, who has never left your side.

You kiss him again, fingers wrapping in tight fists around his shirt to keep yourself grounded. Haechan’s heart pounds happily in his chest and he hopes you can feel it this time, both hands nestling into your hair. He kisses you gently in an effort to slow down your urgent movements, moaning at the taste of your mouth. You fall into his rhythm easily, the way his tongue rolls gently over yours makes your body go up in flames. You move your hands to slide beneath his shirt, landing on the strong muscles in his back and teasing your fingers up his sides.

When you finally come up for air he stares at you for a minute before laughing, stomach tightening beneath your fingers when he does.

"What's funny?" you shut your eyes, leaning your forehead into his chest, letting the pretty sound ring in your ears.

"Nothing, I'm just-" he cuts himself off with a shrug, nuzzling his nose into the crown of your head "I love you, and you love me back. That's all, that's how easy it is."

"It hasn't been easy at all, in fact my life has been very very hard since your birthday last year.” He pulls away from your head to ogle at you.

"My birthday last year?" You nod, feeling your cheeks flush under his intense gaze, it had really been that long "God, I'm sorry I'm such a fucking idiot."

He's kissing you again before you can ask him to elaborate, grabbing hold of both wrists in one hand while he walks you backward and guides you up onto the counter as slowly as he has to in order to keep his lips on yours. His hips are the perfect height for you to wrap your legs around, gasping in surprise when he slides his hands around your ass and presses your core tightly against the growing bulge in his jeans.

You feel shy when you pull away to ask if he wants to go to your bedroom, feeling frozen in place when he stares at you with half lidded eyes, his plump lips swollen and red.

"Tonight, I'm just kissing you." Every cell in his body is screaming in protest at his own words. He can't express how badly he wants to do everything else, to recreate his dreams, to learn the parts of your body he'd never seen before. But he can't imagine doing anything but this tonight, just this; his lips on yours, your breath in his lungs and your body melting into his.

"Why?” your eyebrows pull together in confusion. You practically shiver with need, tucking your arms between your stomachs and burying your nose in his throat. His laugh buzzes against your face, rubbing his hands gently over your shoulders and trying to control his own breathing as your lips brush over his skin.

All he can say is, “Because I’ve been needing to for a long time.”

“How long?” You pull away from his chest, leaning back onto your hands and closing your eyes when he runs his own down your sternum and over your waist, groping at the flesh of your hips and trying not to regret his romantic side.

“Way too long.”

“Your birthday?” you ask, tugging gently at his shirt. He plants his hands outside of your legs to lean in close, one corner of his mouth pulling up.

“Much longer.” Your eyes widen in shock, and he interrupts you before you can question him “can we talk about it later? I have something really important to do tonight.”

———

He tells you that he's had feelings for you since senior year of college, when you kissed Jeno. He tells you about his plan to admit everything when he had seen you on his birthday, but that he was too scared. He assures you he ended his relationship the moment he got back home the previous week “because everyone has felt like a matter of 'when' it will end, not 'if',” He tells you that just two weeks of your silence hurt worse than any previous heartbreak, and you agree. And before you fell asleep next to him he tells you again, ‘I'm so in love with you.’ and shimmies excitedly when you say it back before kissing you until you can barely keep your eyes open. He holds your cheeks in his hands and practically lulls you to sleep with his tongue, plush lips pressing to yours so gently you can hardly feel them dotting around the rest of your face. He thinks he could do this forever before sleep finally catches up with him, his arm slung over your side to hold your face to his chest.

You wake up curled into a familiar side, your first emotion being giddy as the night floods back to you. Despite your obvious willingness to go further, Haechan had meant it when he said he'd only be kissing you. It made you crazy at first, but when the two of you were staring at each other in the mirror with shy eyes while moving through a nighttime routine you had gotten familiar with years before, you were happy he had the self control you clearly lack. The idea of him actually seeing and touching you in ways he never had before, of doing all the things you'd found yourself imagining him doing over the last year; it was overwhelming. Kissing until your jaw was sore and your lips were swollen felt easy.

You’re startled by Haechan’s hand reaching for yours, holding your palm and bringing your fingers to his lips to press a kiss to each one, “good morning.” his voice is deep and tired, mouth landing on the crown of your head.

"Good morning." You press your nose into his chest happily, gripping his hand in yours and resisting the urge to squeal with delight.

"What are you so excited about, me?" He teases, hand falling on your thigh to guide your leg up the front of his, stopping just below his crotch and you hope he's going to give you what you'd been wanting all night, for the last year.

"You, I just can't believe how happy I am." You admit, lifting your head off of his chest to smile at him. He pulls you right back down, kissing your lips once before rolling you both over so he's on top of you. He presses a hand over your collarbone and drags his lips down your chin and over your throat.

"You know, this means you're all mine now." he smirks against your neck when you nod, gasping when he sucks gently at the base. He has one forearm on the mattress, the other hand too gentle on your ribs. You can feel that he's hard and you immediately roll your hips up.

"Does this mean you're gonna do more than just kiss me now?" you intend to sound confident, but it comes out as a whimper. His nose brushes over your jaw before he presses lingering kisses to your chin and cheek.

"Yes, baby, if you'll let me." You nod eagerly, shifting your face so your lips are beneath his and sighing happily when he lowers his weight onto your torso, licking into your mouth. You shiver with anticipation when he pushes at your shirt, long fingers tickling up your side before landing on your breast. You gasp into his mouth when his thumb brushes over your already hard nipple.

Your impatience is overwhelming, grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging it up to his shoulders. He pulls away reluctantly, reaching one hand toward his back and pulling his shirt over his head. You gnaw at your lip, running your hands over his stomach and hooking your knees around his hips as much as you can while stretching your arms over your head.

“Cute.” he murmurs, pulling your shirt up and tossing it to the side. He gropes at your chest, tongue wetting his lips before he leans down to wrap them around one of your nipples. He’s trying to act without thinking, to let the dreams he’s had pave the path down your body because he knows the second he acknowledges his nerves he won’t be able to shake them off. His heart thrums when you gasp above him, arching your chest into his mouth. He’s greedy for your sounds, his hands squeezing your breasts together and licking between them to get to the other nipple. When your hips buck up into his he groans, pulling away from your chest and staring down at you with wondering eyes.

“Can I?” He feels unnaturally shy, leaning back on his calves and watching his fingers press dimples into the flesh of your hips above your underwear, tugging at the hem.

“You don’t need to ask.” He smiles, forcing you to sit by grabbing the back of your neck for a kiss. His fingers press into your clothed core and your hips roll into his hand. He sighs into your mouth at your desperation, torn between teasing you and touching you everywhere.

You can’t keep your legs from shutting around his arm when he pushes your panties to the side and slides his middle and ring finger up your wet center, circling over your clit.

You pull away from the kiss, blinking up at him and your mouth falls open when he presses firmly on your clit, rubbing in slow circles. His head hangs as he lets out a quiet “fuck” at your reaction, moving his hand off your neck to stroke over your stomach and without it behind your head you have to lie back, he presses your legs open. Haechan stares at your chest while he settles between your knees, pushing two fingers inside your dripping core. His jaw hangs open, watching his knuckles disappear inside of you.

“So soft,” he breathes, staring down to where his fingers glisten when he pulls them out to rub over your clit again, palming over his cock getting harder in his sweats “want to be everywhere at once.”

“Want you everywhere.” you whine when his fingers pull away to hook into your underwear, tugging them down your legs. Haechan stands to strip and you hold your breath and soak in the soft swell of his hip that leads to where his cock hangs heavy between his legs. It’s pretty like the rest of him, and thicker than you'd expected with a leaking tip that matches the color of his tongue, he strokes himself once and you don’t get the chance to reach for him before he lays back on the bed, rolling you to sit on top of him. You shudder when your pulsing clit rubs over his stomach, inner thigh squeezing into his ribs. He runs his hands up your waist, scooting you an inch higher and grabbing onto your tits.

“Do you remember a few months ago, when you called me drunk and I told you I was dreaming about hanging out with you?” He shivers when you grind down in response, wet pussy sliding easily over his skin “I lied.”

Your hands press into his chest, tilting your head “what were we doing?” you can barely speak above a whisper when he pinches gently at your nipple with one hand, the other rubbing over your ribs when he smirks up at you.

“You were about a foot higher than you are right now,” you gasp and reach out to grab the headboard when he jolts his hips to move you up his chest, staring down at him with wide eyes as he shifts to wrap his arms under your legs, fingers pressing into your thighs.

“You dreamt about this?” you let him bring your hips to hover over his face, hands falling into his hair when he brushes his nose over your clit as he nods.

“All the time,” he moans and drags you down onto his face, lips wrapping around your clit. You shudder above him, letting some of your weight collapse into your heels and he groans happily at the pressure of you on his chin, pressing you harder onto his mouth to fuck his tongue into you. He wants to devour you, every sound you make goes straight to his cock which is already rock hard at the taste and smell of you. Even just thinking about the fact that it's your hips grinding over his face right now is enough to make him moan into your pussy.

You slur out praise, one of your hands shooting up to grip the headboard. His hands wander gently up your sides, eyes opening to stare up to where he plays with your tits, hard cock pulsing at the sight of your head thrown back, hips moving in gentle circles over his face. Haechan’s hand tugs yours down to his hair, trying to restrain himself from thrusting into the empty air at the feeling of you all over him. He hums happily into your pussy when you start to grind over his mouth, flattening his tongue for you to ride until your legs are shaking.

He lets out a deep “mmhmm” when you warn him that you’re going to cum, suckling hard on your clit until you’re practically begging him to let you go, body crumpling forward with both hands tangled in his hair. He's grateful you didn't touch his cock, just the thought of your fingers wrapped around him is enough to make him cum and he has other plans.

You can’t speak when you collapse onto the mattress beside him, immediately warmed by the weight of his body on top of yours as he slots himself between your thighs, sucking a hickey onto the front of your throat.

“Taste too fucking good,” he hums, mouthing over your chin and cheek “been dreaming of eating your sweet pussy for so long.” you practically swoon when he kisses you, pre-cum wetting the inside of your thigh when he relaxes his stomach onto yours.

“Hyuck, want you in me, please” Your vision is blurry, whining into his swollen lips. He works them over your cheek before pulling away from you, bringing one of your legs up to his shoulder and you rest the other knee on his hip. He can feel himself pant when he taps the head of his cock on your swollen clit, practically drooling when he sticks barely the tip inside before pulling back and repeating the tantalizing motion.

“Been waiting for too long to be teased,” you pout, trying to encourage his hips toward yours with the ankle he’s not pressing his cheek into. He smirks and circles his leaking tip over you again, watching his cock spread your arousal around before he pushes into you a little further.

“I’m taking my time with you, feels so fucking good.” He can’t look away from between your thighs, messy hair hanging over his forehead while his fingers grip your ankle tightly. You whimper when he pulls all the way out again, one more hard tap against your pulsing clit before he pushes himself halfway into your leaking pussy. You rise onto your elbows, trying to reach one hand to grab for his hip but he releases the base of his cock to stop you by lacing your fingers together. When Haechan finally looks into your eyes he bottoms out, stretching your leg toward your chest so he can lean in. His hips stutter, a choked groan rumbling deep in his chest.

“Oh my god, Hyuck please.” you beg him to move with a gasp. His forehead presses to your chin, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Fuck, baby, been needing you," he thrusts into you slowly, lifting his head to look down at you glowing beneath him with your eyes shut. He pulls out all the way before thrusting back inside, quickening his hips when your eyes flutter open, the look on your face enough to make his balls tighten slightly, shutting his eyes to regain self control "knew you'd feel so fucking good."

"M’so full, Haechan." you moan at his words and the rapid slap of his hips on the back of your thighs, forcing your eyes to stay open so you can see his face. The way his nose scrunches with focus when he pulls away from your chest, both his hands wrapping firmly around your hips while he watches his cock sink into you. Brown, shaggy hair sticks to his damp forehead, full lower lip taken between his teeth. He’s pure, unadulterated boyish beauty, and he’s all yours.

You squeak when he lets your leg drop off his shoulder, pressing your thigh as far open as it will go with your heel digging into his backside. He fans his fingers over your lower stomach, thumb reaching down to push your clit side to side and your hips tuck up for more pressure, Haechan moans loudly when the movement causes you to clamp around his cock, "Perfect fucking pussy, can't believe it's mine now. Like my fingers on your pretty clit?”

You nod enthusiastically, letting go of your breasts to hold the backs of your thighs, Haechan's eyes move up your body to stare at your chest move beneath him, nipples looking sweet as candy. He’s dying to sink his fingers into the softest part of your stomach, the way you’re moving for him makes his mind turn to sand. You stare down to where his thumb is making circles over your clit, perfectly timed with the head of his cock bruising your g-spot. You feel a second orgasm build and the corner of his mouth pulls up proudly when your legs shake. Your head hangs back as you gasp for air, "yes, please, Haechan feels so fucking good."

"Make the prettiest noises for me, want you cumming all over my cock." he leans forward just enough to trap your throat beneath the weight of his palms, other hand still moving over your swollen clit. You smile at the pressure of his body on yours, eyes fluttering shut while you moan. You nod desperately when he asks if you can do that, "if you can let me make you feel that good, please, my pretty girl."

He takes his hand off your throat when you cum, wanting to hear every sound you could possibly make. You repeat his name like a blessing that has him cumming with you, moaning and breathless as his hips start to slow, milking you both through your orgasms.

You wrap your arms around him when he pulls out of you, reveling in the feeling of him when he lowers himself down, burrowing his face into your neck and warming your skin with his breath. You hold him there for a minute until he pulls his head up, dopey smile lighting up his eyes and making you laugh.

“What?” you scrunch your nose at him “better than your dreams?”

He nods, “so much better, best I ever had, my body belongs to you now.” he smirks at his own words, but his tone is so gentle he can’t even call it a joke.

“Just your body?” you tease, and he leans his nose onto your lips for a kiss that you carry onto the mole under his eye.

“Body, mind, heart, soul,” he sighs happily when you cup his cheeks in your hands, kissing him gently “all the planets in my head.”

"All the planets in my head too."

————

masterlist

authors note // this ended up being much longer than i anticipated, maybe the longest one shot i’ve ever actually written! i appreciate everyone who voted for happy ending because when i was originally thinking of a sad ending it was too hard lol. this feels forever unfinished because there is so much good to this version of haechan, i adore him.

#haechan #haechan fanfiction #haechan smut #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct dream fanfiction #nct dream smut #nct 127 fanfiction #nct 127 smut #nct fanfiction #nct smut

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mountainsandmayhem · 9 months

Text

Stay Still, Little Dove

Joel Miller x Female!Reader

18+

Series Masterlist

Summary: Joel takes matters into his own hands to deal with your newly insatiable sex drive with a little help from a u shaped friend. TW: softdom!Joel, female orgasms (like a lot of them), oral (fem!rec), this is all about her A/N: THANK YOU for all the comments, likes and reblogs on my last story! I fully believe only 1 or 2 people will read these and I'm just floored by the response so far. I wish I could write without a plot, but I added some backstory about these two. Word Count: 4.3k

Ellie has always been a tornado in your life. Her biological mom was your childhood best friend. She had her demons, so you can’t say you were surprised when during her weekend trip to visit you with her new baby she disappeared, leaving you with little Ellie.

Overnight, you went from a 22-year-old young woman starting your third year of your degree to a 22-year-old adoptive single mom pushing through your third year of college.

Your parents were helpful, driving four hours from the small town you grew up in every weekend so you could work or do homework. They offered to take Ellie for a while or help you find people to adopt her, but that little tornado of a girl was your priority and you weren’t going to abandon her like her mother.

She broke her arm at 2 on her big wheel, and at 3 she needed 10 stitches across her eyebrow from when she tried to leap from the kitchen table to the granite island. Safe to say the granite won as she still bears that scar today. At 4, she bolted up the stairs to the high dive and jumped off without an ounce of fear. Thank god she was already a strong swimmer.

She seemed to crave chaos, so when she befriended the girl with wildly curly hair on her first day of school you just shook your head, predictable little tornado.

Thankfully Sarah Miller was a sweet and kind-hearted girl, maybe even a little shy. It also helped that Sarah’s young dad, who didn’t wear a wedding ring, resembled a Greek god. Tall and broad with tanned skin, he owned some sort of contracting business based on the truck he’d do school pick up and drop off in. When the girls introduced you two, he flashed you a small smile, revealing that goddamn dimple.

You’re both pretty sure the girls played a hand in the two of you eventually getting together, granted they both conveniently don’t remember playing tiny matchmakers. They’d ask for sleepovers and playdates almost daily, or sign you both up to the same shift at school events.

“Mommy, I swear on the moon that the teacher picked!” Ellie said when you had the coat check station at the Valentine's Day dance. “Buuuut you might want to put on lipstick.”

It’s been a little over 14 years since then and he still sets your blood on fire with that dimple.

Both of you approached this new empty nest phase apprehensively, but it turns out that having the house to yourself (with no risk of one of the girls walking in) opened a whole new set of rather kinky doors. Not that you were necessarily vanilla before, but while they lived there you didn’t have ropes and paddles hanging on your bedroom wall, or the hooks on your four-poster bed.

You also never would have been how you are now, bathroom door wide open in only the trousers you planned to wear to work.

“Not that I’m complainin’ sweetheart. But why are you topless?” Joel asks on his way to the kitchen.

“It’s too damn hot in here.” You grumble, getting out your skincare and makeup.

Joel shook his head to himself as he walked to the kitchen. He knew better than to bring up that it wasn’t the temperature, it was you and your recent perimenopause diagnosis. He hated to see you suffering, but your newly insatiable libido gave him an idea.

As you get ready, Joel leans against the bathroom door frame drinking coffee, observing you through the mirror.

You see him most days in his typical work attire - dark jeans, a t-shirt with his company logo, and a flannel or denim button-up. But it will never get old to you. You almost find him sexier in this than in a suit. Especially when he has the cuffs rolled like he does today.

“Little Dove?” His voice is deep and scratchy.

A slight blush paints your cheeks, knowing that it’s going to be one of those days.

“Yes, sir?”

He slowly walks towards you as you lean into the mirror to blink on some mascara. He stops just a hair away from you, not touching you but close. Close enough for you to feel the heat coming off of him. He waits until you’ve put the mascara wand away, and uses his free hand to trace a line slowly down your spine.

A shiver runs through you, and you let out a small moan. Partly from the feeling of him, but mostly at the reprieve from the hot flash you’re experiencing.

“How many orgasms do you think I could give you before you beg me to stop?” He kisses the top of your left shoulder, watching your eyes widen slightly in the mirror.

Goosebumps spread across your body. If he wants to play, you’ll make it difficult for him. “Well, after the little kidnapping the other night you gave in after three.”

“This is about you giving up and not me giving in,” His free hand continues a light trail along your bare back.

“And didn’t you say you felt like you had done an intense Pilates workout the next day?” He adds teasingly.

You were hoping he’d forgotten about how you groaned as you lowered yourself into the bathtub to soak your sore muscles. Even though your hormones seemed to think you were a teenager again, your body took a little longer to recover. Joel cared for you in a way that only he could; making dinner, wrapping you in your beloved heated blanket, and gently massaging your hips and legs.

You don’t want to give up this easily so you scoff and say, “Please, old man. You’d get tired before I’d quit.”

The next two things happen so quickly that it’s over before the excited squeal leaves your lips. He spins you to face him and lifts you onto the countertop, caging you between his arms, his hands gripping the vanity on either side of you.

“Now now, Little Dove. I’d be careful who you call old.” His recently playful tone is back to a deep gravel-like command that settles right between your thighs.

“You will refer to me as sir in these moments and nothing else. Do you understand?”

You nod eagerly sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, fuck you love him like this.

He kisses down your neck towards your right breast. Pausing he adds, “Words, Little Dove,” before gently dragging your right nipple through his teeth.

You let out a desperate moan arching your back into the pain, “Yes, sir.”

Joel quickly steps back, taking his coffee cup with him. “Be a good girl today.”

+++++

You spend your workday trying not to think about Joel. You immerse yourself in your to-do list and your team gets a few projects done early and sent off for approval. You’ve almost forgotten about the morning events when you hear your phone buzz.

Joel: When I get home I want you in that little black lacy thing, Little Dove. I’m bringing home dinner.

You reply with a funny ‘yes, sir’ gif.

Joel: Oh, my sweet Little Dove. I’m almost starting to think you like it when I punish you.

You: Do your worst, I won’t tap out.

Joel: Tell me what you’re going to be doing when I get home.

You find a photo of you wearing the aforementioned ‘little black lacy thing’ and attach it to your message that says, “Wearing this, sir.”

Joel: Be kneeling beside the couch when I get home.

You: Yes, sir.

++++

The rest of your day goes by tortuously slowly, yet the drive home seemed suspiciously fast. You laugh to yourself picturing a speeding ticket in the mail and Joel’s reaction when you tell him he has to pay it since it’s his fault. Maybe you’ll ask him when he’s in a sir mood.

You hop in the shower, shave and touch up your makeup before clipping and clasping yourself into the outfit Joel loves so much. As you step back to admire yourself in the full-length mirror you realize certain squishy parts of your body don’t look great in this.

Focus on the positive, you remind yourself.

The deep v-halter of the one-piece garment accentuates your breasts, you spin to take in the low cut back and high cut cheeky bottom that highlights the globes of your ass.

The familiar sounds of Joel’s truck pulling up the driveway sends a rush of nervous and excited butterflies through your stomach. You hurry to the sitting room, grab a throw pillow from the couch and kneel.

Your eyes follow as Joel heads to the kitchen, holding a bag from your favourite sushi restaurant. He places it on the island before looking up at you with dark eyes

“Look at the ground and put your hands on your lap.” He commands.

You can’t stop your eyes from rolling as you look down and do as he says.

“Little Dove, don’t roll your eyes at me.” His voice deepens with every word, instantly setting your core on fire.

He’s silent for a moment and you can feel his eyes on you. “From now on when I say to kneel, this is how you’ll be. Understand?”

You squeeze your thighs a little tighter, breathing starting to shallow at the sound of his voice as he slips deeper into sir mode.

You reply with a breathy, “Yes sir. Sorry.”

Joel walks over and pets your head. “You look stunning like this.” He whispers, before turning and leaving you alone.

His words feel like warm honey being drizzled down your spine. No one makes you feel as desired as Joel and immediately your earlier body insecurities vanish. You can hear him moving things around the bedroom before he walks back to the kitchen but you don’t dare look up. You’re a good girl, Joel doesn’t like brats, and right now all that matters is pleasing him.

Joel sets up dinner, arranges the sushi on plates, opens the wine and lights a candle before sitting at the table, legs spread, facing you.

“Crawl to me, Little Dove.” His deep voice washes over you. Almost as if it puts you in a trance. You know your knees are going to regret this in the morning, but you’re so turned on that you don’t hesitate to crawl across the area rug and then onto the hardwood flooring Joel installed himself.

Stopping between his bare legs, his strong hand cradles your chin and tilts it up, he’s wearing a plain white t-shirt and tight black boxers. But it’s the sleek black remote control vibrator in his other hand that steals your attention.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” He says with a soft moan, gently stroking your cheek. “Go put this in, and then come back and have dinner with me.”

He helps you to your feet and hands you the vibrator. He turns you towards the half bath off the kitchen and pats your bum gently while you walk away.

Joel has laid out everything you might need on the counter. After cleaning the toy, you push the thin fabric of your lingerie aside and slide it inside yourself. You can already feel pressure on that little spongy part inside you that Joel loves to tease. As you wash your hands you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

I can do this, you say to yourself.

As soon as you step out of the bathroom and make eye contact with Joel the toy comes to life. Your false confidence from a few seconds ago buckles along with your knees as you brace yourself on the door frame and let out a breathy gasp.

“I want you to keep count and thank me for each one, Little Dove. Understand?”

“Y-yes, sir,” you moan, crossing your legs and squeezing your thighs, all while maintaining eye contact.

The vibration stops, you take a few deep breaths before standing up tall and walking over to the table. Always the gentleman, he pulls out your chair and kisses the top of your head before taking his seat.

“Eat while we go over some ground rules, Little Dove.”

You don’t have to be told twice, you love sushi and you’re probably going to need your strength for the evening.

“You are going to need a safe word tonight.” Your mouth goes dry and you become accurately aware of the small remote control in his possession.

“We are going to use a colour coding system, much like traffic lights. If I ask you for a colour tonight you have three options. Green means you want to keep going,” he emphasizes the word you.

“Yellow means you need a break and will let me know when you’re ready again. Say red and we stop.” Joel pauses and looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, sir,” you reply in between bites.

He picks up his wine and takes a sip before continuing softly, reaching across to grab your hand. “But baby, you can say yellow or red at any time. If you need a break or reassurance, say yellow. And if it’s too intense and you need me to stop, say red. We’ve done our research on this. But you need to know that if you say stop, or that you need a break, or even if you’re crying and saying I’m hurting you, I will not stop. Colours only. Understand?”

You nod while taking a big mouthful of wine, the nervous excitement that you’ve been feeling all day courses through your body. As your wine glass is put back on the table the vibrating starts again, stronger this time.

“You should know by now that you need to use your fucking words, Little Dove.” He says darkly.

“Yes,” you stammer. “Yes. I under….I understand, sir.”

The vibrating stops and you let out a breathy, Oh god.

You both eat your dinner and finish the wine, this man could give you whiplash with how quickly he can go from sir to family man. He asks about your day and tells you about the new apprentice he’s hired. When you both finish eating he takes the dishes to the sink. He turns to face you, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed. The sleeves of his t-shirt stretch over the ropes of muscles lining his biceps.

“Little Dove, do I have your consent to make you come until you use a safe word?”

Again, the whiplash.

Your mouth goes dry as you reply with his preferred ‘yes, sir.’

The toy comes to life again, on a higher setting than the last 2 times. You lean forward so your ass is slightly off the chair to ease some of the intensity. You’re not a stranger to a vibrator, but never one that’s pushed this firmly against your g spot and your clit. The seat of your chair is clamped between your fingers as you cry out in pleasure.

“Don’t make me tie you to that fucking chair. Sit down, Little Dove.”

You do as he says, letting out a desperate moan as the hard seat presses the two ends of the u shaped toy deeper and harder against your g spot.

“Oh fuck - fuck - m’gonna…” you close your eyes and your head falls back as the white heat in your center starts to reach its breaking point.

Joel strides over to you and grabs your chin, twisting you slightly to face him. “Look at me, I want to see it when you come.”

“J-Joel,” his hand doesn’t leave your chin and he watches you with such admiration as you start to come undone.

“That’s it, Little Dove,” he whispers as he places a few kisses along your jaw towards your ear adding, “Let go for me.”

Your orgasm hits you hard, spreading from the base of your spine and out to every inch of your body. Wave after wave flows through you, intensified by the look of admiration spreading across Joel's face.

“There you go - good girl.”

Your fingers start to ache as you fight to stay seated in the chair, his wishes are your command and you’ll do anything to hear him praise you again. You squirm against the seat as overstimulation starts to take over.

“Please, sir,” you beg, “fuck! I need…I need to move.”

“So beautiful when you beg, Little Dove….count it for me” He says.

“One sir, thank you.” It comes out weak and breathy, a voice you didn’t expect after only one orgasm.

“Give me a colour, baby.” His voice is almost soothing as he torments you with the vibrator.

Current state aside, you’re not giving up or giving in after one orgasm, even if it is still coursing through you minutes later.

“Green!” You scream, shifting yourself off the chair slightly as he switches to a new vibration setting. Its intensity varies and shifts, and the anticipation of never knowing what might hit you next is a new level of wonderful torture.

Joel slides your chair out and kneels in front of you, pushing your hips back down to the chair.

“I will tie you down if you don’t stay still, Little Dove,” he growls before slamming his lips into yours.

A second orgasm tears through your body, your hands move to his shoulders, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt as you try not to move. It’s no use, the vibrations are too intense and you buck your hips up while your head falls back breaking the kiss.

The kitchen fills with your cries of ecstasy. Somehow you manage to count and thank him for the second one before he turns off the toy and pulls you to your feet. You grip his strong forearms to steady yourself, your pussy still fluttering against the weight of the vibrator.

“You have five seconds before I turn this on high, Little Dove. Unless you can make it to the bedroom before that.”

Your legs feel like jelly beneath you, but your competitive side kicks in and you sprint down the hallway as he loudly and authoritatively counts to five. You almost make it through the bedroom when you feel the most intense vibration hit your swollen g spot. You stumble forward, folding your upper body onto the bed. Your brain scrambles to catch up to your body as it processes that you’re not in pain but instead in a state of agonizing pleasure.

Joel walks up behind you, pressing himself against your ass. “You’re doing such a good job for me,” he praises before landing a hard slap on your right ass cheek.

Your body is suspended in that moment right before you come. You almost feel like you’re floating and the pleasure is so intense that you can’t even make a noise as you clench the bedsheet in your fists to try to ground yourself.

He uses his body to pin you down, folding over you and whispering “Give me a colour,” in your ear.

“Green” comes out in a shaky whisper.

“That’s my girl.” He says proudly, biting your shoulder blade.

Again it’s his words that do it, my girl, and you finally tip over the edge and tremble underneath him. Joel kisses and sucks the skin of your upper back, every inch of your body feels encompassed by him and crying out for relief, but you’re not giving in.

“Ah - fuuuuck…” you feel like this orgasm has been going on for hours.

“I wish you could see how good you look right now.”

“Stop. P-please. Stop,” you beg in between gasps of air.

As you come down from your high the vibrating slows to a small tickle, not enough to make you come again but enough to remind you that it’s there.

Can someone die from an orgasm?

“Take off your clothes,” Joel growls in your ear, slapping your right ass cheek as he peels himself off of you. “I’m not stopping until you use the safe word, Little Dove.”

He pulls his shirt off and watches as you undo the clasps and clips of your lingerie and slide it off with shaky hands.

As you lay on the bed you say, “I’m not a fucking quitter, sir.”

Joel smirks, laughing through his nose a little as he wraps a silk cuff around each ankle, spreading your legs apart for him. “How many are we at so far?”

As he cuffs your wrists you reply. “Three. Thank you, sir.”

He kisses your forehead as he slowly removes the vibrator. “Fuck me,” he says, “look at this mess, such a good girl for me.”

You close your eyes and let the praise wash over you like a warm bath. Joel shifts his body between your legs and places two little kisses on your swollen clit making you whimper and suck your bottom lip between your teeth.

He uses two fingers to lightly circle your clit making you come instantly with a whimpering ‘four, thank you, sir,’ at the end.

Joel doesn’t stop, switching to use his tongue while keeping the same pace and pressure as you come again.

“Ah - five, thank you, sir!”

….and again….”fuck, six. Thank you, sir.”

...and again….”s-seven - oh god - thank y-you, sir.”

Your skin is covered in a thin sheen of sweat as a cool liquid drizzles down your pussy. You gasp at the new sensation, eyes shooting to his face.

“Stay still, Little Dove.”

As he runs his fingers up and down your pussy, the lube turns warm and tingly, heightening his touches. Joel draws circles on your clit with his thumb, pursing his lips and blowing cool air. The warmth turns icy cold, and when he stops blowing, heat rushes to your pussy, pulling another orgasm from you.

Yes, I’m certain someone can die from an orgasm.

“Count, Little Dove.”

A whine escapes your lips as you try to tug your legs together. His thumb has slowed down but it’s all becoming too much. “Eight. I can’t anymore, sir.”

He blows cool air again and the heat rushing has you keening all over again.

“Please, Joel. I can’t. Please.” Tears spring from your eyes.

“You’re ok. You can do this, baby.” Cool air hits your pussy again and you come apart. “Good girl. So gorgeous. Count it for me, Little Dove.”

“Nine. N-nine,” your eyes slam shut as he pulls away from you. “T-thank you, sir.”

Before you’ve even finished thanking him, he slides his middle finger inside you, lightly massaging your g spot that’s still so sensitive from the vibrator. He pushes one of his strong hands down on your mound as he torturously works you toward your tenth orgasm.

“No…please. Sir, I,” you gasp as you try to pull free.

“I can’t,” the pleasure is almost painful at this point as the pressure from your arousal builds. He knows your close, he’s been dying to make you squirt again after the other night.

“Color,” Joel says tenderly, slipping a second finger inside you and hooking the forward.

You swallow hard against your sore and scratchy throat. You whine ‘green’, as you arch your back to try to ease the intense mixture of pain, pleasure and pressure that you’re experiencing.

“Stay still, Little Dove,” Joel pushes harder on your lower belly. “Give me number ten. Show me, baby. Show me how good this feels.”

You swear that everything stops, including your heart and time, as you fall apart under his touch and gush all over his hand. The walls of your pussy are clenching around Joel’s fingers and you can feel a puddle forming underneath you. You think you hear Joel praising you, but the sound is muffled by your gasps and moans. If you lived in an apartment your neighbours might think you were being tortured based on the loud cries coming out of you. Joel is sure that he’ll be making you a hot toddy to ease your throat later, but right now he’s hyper-focused on getting you through this orgasm.

As you start to come down his hand slows, “relax, baby.”

“Red. S-stop. Fuck Joel, red.”

Joel gently removes his fingers, shifting quickly to undo your restraints. You’re shivering and exhausted as he pulls you into his arms and away from the soaked sheets.

Everything Joel Miller does is done with the utmost care and attention, including aftercare. Your heated blanket is already warmed up, tucked near the headboard. He pulls it over you and places a featherlight kiss on your sweaty forehead.

“I got you, darlin’. Shhh. I got you.” He holds you tighter as you melt into him.

After a few moments of silence, you tilt your face up to look at him. “Are you okay?” He asks gently.

You bite your bottom lip to stop a smile. “Ya, that was - amazing.”

You laugh a little and tuck back into his chest. “Are you sure? I’m so proud of you for using a safe word, but I need to ensure I didn’t hurt you.”

You shake your head and fight to stay awake. “No…you didn’t” you mumble sleepily, stifling a yawn. “I’m great - just one minute…then I’ll do something for you.”

Joel laughs softly and tilts your face up to his. He presses his lips to yours gently. “That was for me, Little Dove. Sleep for a little bit, I’ll wake you up for electrolytes and food.”

The warmth of your blanket takes over, you whisper an ‘I love you’ just as you drift off, thanking whoever brought this beautiful man into your life.

++++++++++

Taglist: @corazondebeskar @hiddenbabynyc @mermaidgirl30 @rainstorms-library @smutsmutslut

#joel miller #pedrohub #joel miller tlou #joel the last of us #joel x reader #joel tlou #fanfic #fanfiction #joel miller smut #daddy joel #joel miller x reader #tlou fanfiction #dom!joel miller #soft!joel miller

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thecapricunt1616 · 2 months

Text

Pomegranate (C.B. One Shot)

“Alright so last minute alterations are really nothing to worry about - We can always add an extra fabric panel to the dress, It wont even be noticeable! This is why we inform our expecting brides to go 2 sizes up, sometimes though as second time moms we pack on a little extra trust me, I did too with my second” The nice, Bridal assistant explained to you as she finished cinching your dress that fit you perfect…now.

Your wedding was still 2 months away, when you would be 7 months along and likely with a bigger bump (and chest) as your body made room for your & Carmys growing daughter. You look at Syd, Nat, and your best friend, Gabriella in the mirror. The look flashing on your face was insecurity, “What if I look…Like- awful- and swollen and- and all third trimester” you asked worridly. Natalie gave that worried mom look and stood up, coming over to the circle platform you were standing on and looks up at you.

“C’mere, you sound like you need a hug sweetheart” she said and opened her arms sweetly. You pouted, holding back your tears and the bridal assistant speaks up, rubbing your back gently as you carefully stepped down and gave Nat a big hug“You are gonna look beautiful, I’m sure of it. All your morning sickness will be gone, and you should still be comfortable honey- 7 months is a perfect time to get married” The bridal assistant assured you as she gently rubbed your back. “I’m gonna give you ladies some time to talk while I go measure out for more fabric and jot the dimensions down. I’ll be back soon” she shuts the little curtian of the showing room as she leaves to give you 4 privacy to console your pregnancy hormones.

♡ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨: In Greek and Persian mythology, pomegranates symbolize fertility, beauty, and eternal life. In the Greek myth of Persephone's abduction by Hades, the pomegranate represents the indissolubility of marriage. ♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You're feeling insecure that your wedding is only happening for traditions sake & sweet Carmy assures you that isn't the case ♡ 𝐖/𝐂: 6,050 ♡ 𝐀/𝐍:She's baaackkk!!! Guess who finally got a new laptop, y'all!! So I'm officially back in the groove! This one has been a long time coming, so long coming that I can't even find the ask because I replied to it so long ago that it got buried on my blog, but this is DC to my lovely little burrito baby @daysofyellowroses - darling, thank you so much for your patience while waiting for this, you've been absolutely wonderful & amazing & the best ever with waiting. Also, thank you so much for your support all the time even when I'm not writing ILY to Saturn! I'm so happy that my original format is back, because I know people have been saying lately they like it & I'm so glad! It was just nearly impossible to do on my phone / iPad! This is a lot longer than the blurbs that I've been writing lately so I hope it feels like we're getting back to normal! I love love love you all <3 ♡ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐓𝐂: Swearing, Pregnant!Reader, Dad!Carmy, No use of Y/N, R has long hair but no other physical descriptions really, (Kinda) Vulgar language, Not terribly edited, !!Fluffy Carm!!

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

“You are gonna look beautiful, I’m sure of it. All your morning sickness will be gone, and you should still be comfortable honey- 7 months is a perfect time to get married” The bridal assistant assured you as she gently rubbed your back. “I’m gonna give you ladies some time to talk while I go measure out for more fabric and jot the dimensions down. I’ll be back soon” she shuts the little curtian of the showing room as she leaves to give you 4 privacy to console your pregnancy hormones.

“I- I just worry, Nat” you sniffled a bit. Gabriella quickly got up, handing you a tissue and you thanked her, taking it and dabbing your eyes carefully to not disturb your mascara more than you already had.

“Trust me, when Pete and I had our first before we got married I was terrified. But I promise, you know Carmy is your person - You’ve told me a million times! And he’s told me a million times” she giggled assuringly, wiping stray tears that had trickled down your cheek. “I can’t think of anyone more perfect to deal with his antics” she joked, causing you to laugh just a bit in turn.

“That is for sure the truth, You and little man” Gabriella chimed in and you nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to calm back down.

“You’re right- that’s right. I’m sorry - let me go change so we’re not late to brunch” you said and Nat squeezed your arm kindly in response as you head back to the dressing room. After you finished getting switched out of your dress and back into your clothes, you checked your phone and saw a text from Carmy as well as an attatched image.

‘Cub learned how to make Foccatia today, kid had the bright idea to put in cherry tomatoes and chives to make them look like cherrys on a stem he’s a fuckin genius already’

You see the picture attatched was your adorable son, smiling brightly and proudly holding up a tray of foccotia dough, and just like Carmy said there was little cherry tomatoes nestled in making it look like cherries. You gasped to yourself happily, smiling wide as you send a text back,

‘Not only is he your little twin, he got your talents in the kitchen too!!! Little girl is gonna be jealous if she comes out with moms lackluster cooking skills’

You joked back and slipped your phone into your large ‘mom purse’ as you called it, since small messenger bags and clutches or crossbodies weren’t at all practical with all of the things you had to carry around just in case for motherhood, because something that you learned early on was the moment you don’t have it with you, youll need it. Natalie had agreed, it was just one of those things you had to learn with as a mom. You were happy that you and Carmy had waited a bit though, to have your next. Granted, time did feel like it slipped away from the two of you by accident.

Your first was absolutely a suprise. Not a bad one, just very unexpected. You and Carmy had been together for 4 years by that point, and the universe must have had some kind of grand plan - because the pharmacy messed up with your birth control that month, and when Carmy realized the condom had ripped it was already too late. You had tried taking a Plan-B to be as responsible as you could the following morning- but 3 weeks later Aunt-Flo had not shown up, and thats when you knew, considering she had always been a very…timely guest, ever since she’d started visiting.

You made sure to take 3 strip tests, 4 ClearBlue First-Response tests, and made an appointment with your OB-GYN doctor to have a confirmation ultrisound just to be sure, before you told Carmy. The two of you had talked about kids before, but he had spoke about them like he was unsure, so to say that your hands felt sweaty when you told him when he came home from work that night was an understatement. What you didn’t expect was for him to burst into tears, and ask “You’re gonna have our baby? Really? We’ll have a family together?“ whispering it, as if he couldn’t believe it was something you’d ever want to do.

From that moment you were absorbed with parenthood together. Lamaze Classses, Bradley method classes, Breastfeeding classes, Newborn classes, Childbirth classes, Infant & Toddler development classes, Doctors appointments, Nutritionists, Ultrasounds. Not to mention the shelf that Carmy had to build in the nursery for all of the parenting, breastfeeding, childbirth, etc. etc. etc. books that he’d gotten delivered from Barnes & Noble before the end of your first trimester. He made sure to not miss a thing, and be there for you every single step of the pregnancy, the good, the bad, & the ugly too. When you found out that you were pregnant with your second, he proposed.

It wasn’t that you weren’t sure if he really wanted to get married, you knew he loved you - but you had just felt that the timing was a little…off. Just because it was so close to the time that you had let him know, only 2 months later did he pull out a ring while you, him, and cub were sitting at the park having a picnic together and he asked if you wanted to share he and Cubs last name. So you can be a real family.

You thought it may be that phrase, real family. Like, you and Carmy and cub and the little girl on the way werent a family enough, that you had to be bound legally to eachother for him to see you as a true family. The phrase had been randomly keeping you up at night, or even waking you up sometimes. You didn’t want to bring it up, though.

He already coddles you and a pre-schooler, he’s been putting up with you for nearly 10 years, don’t question him and make him leave.

You wanted to believe that it was just the horrible anxiety that came with your first trimester, that it was the hormones racing through you that were lying to you, trying to make you hate the person in the world who you love most, other then your son and your daughter on the way of course. But it still caused you to go to the bathroom and silently cry in the middle of sleepless nights when it all felt to be too much.

Especially when he had to skip out on multiple parts of the wedding vendor appointments due to work. This had made you feel like he wants to be present for your children as a father which you loved and appreciated more then anything, but when it came to being there for you, as his wife, and just his wife. Sure, he would sit with you on his time off and pick everything out with you, and he was there for most of the appointments. But not all of them, when he had never missed a single ultrasound or doctors appointment for your son since he’d been born.You shake your head to yourself, pulling yourself from your negative thoughts and step back out to meet the girls waiting for you, “Lets go to brunch I’m starved!” you push your purse up on your shoulder and head out with them.

By the time you’d gotten home, it was around 1:30 and Carmy was in the kitchen finishing wiping down the front of the fridge. He stood up with an adorable dad grunt “There’s my favorite girls!” he grins, coming up to you and giving you a loving kiss before rubbing your baby bump gently. “How was the appointment sweetheart” He asked, taking your purse from you and bending down to give your belly a kiss “Hi Jellybean” he whispered to your bump before standing back up and leading you over to the couch.

“It was…good, I guess. I mean, good in the fact that the dress fit perfect” You said, resting your arm over your belly as you sat on the couch

“Thats awesome baby!” he knelt down, taking your sneakers off for you and taking them over to the shoe rack at the door, and hanging your purse on the hook

“Not really awesome because if it fits perfect now, when I go to waddle down the isle it wont even zip. Remember with Gio I didn’t even really pop until I was 6 months! So the month before the wedding, I’m worried I’m gonna turn into a pregnant balloon!” you huffed, and to that he tisked, going over to the fridge and pouring you a glass of your favorite tarte pomegranate juice over ice.

“Last minute alterations are no big deal, and if the month before I have to order the damn dress in a whole other size and have it tailored the week of so be it” he hands you the glass and sits down next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and rubbing over your belly sweetly “Cause I’m makin’ us official” he said before kissing your temple gently. You stared into your class, there it was again. You thought of ways that you could ask him what he means by that, but before you could settle on one your son comes barreling out of his bedroom cheering

“Moooooommyyyy you’re home! I missed you!” He goes to jump in your lap in the careless child like way and Carmy quickly catches him

“Woooah!!” he scolded gently and scooped him into his lap with one arm “Remember what we said, Cub- who’s in Mama’s tummy?” he asks and your son gently pats your belly gently and looks at Carmy

“Baby sister!” he said happily and Carmy nods with a small smile

“Thats right honey, so we have to be extra gentle around Mama’s tummy, right? Gotta keep baby sister extra safe while she grows big and strong” he explained and Gio nods obediently

“Mommy we meet baby sister soon right? How many more weeks?” he asked excitedly and carefully crawled into your lap, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and kissing your cheek sweetly.

“Hmmm, well why don’t you go look at the baby calender mmm? And see how many stars we have left to count?” you asked and he nodded happily, sliding off your legs and running off to his bedroom. When you and Carmy had told him that he was going to be a brother by giving him a t-shirt that said ‘Promoted to Brother Bear’ and a Kids book called ‘Archie the Bear becomes a Big Brother’ - he was over the moon and had asked you and Carmy every single day how many more days until he would meet his new baby sibling, and it was starting to drive you both mad.

So after 14 days of the same question he finally got sick and tired of answering, he made him a 40 slot calendar and each Sunday he got to put another star on the calendar. He had gotten him a sticker book of rainbow glittery stars, and sat with a ruler and a thin sharpie as well as an 11x17 piece of cardstock and drew out a ‘Weeks until brotherhood’ calendar and when he gave it to him the next morning he cried because he was so excited which in turn made you cry, and that made Carmy cry.

“22! I counted 22 squares left Mommy!” Gio shouts as he runs and jumps back into Carms lap and he grunts

“You’re getting to be a big boy huh?” he asked him, patting his back gently

“Doctor says it’s cause I eat my vegetables” he said proudly and Carmy chuckles with a nod

“That’s right buddy, d’you wanna help me get dinner started? Mm? Make somethin’ real nice f’r mommy yeah?” He asked him and Cub gasped excitedly

“Yes! Can I wash the vegetables?” he asked hopefully and hopped off his lap

“You can bud! Go wash up” Carm told him and he giggled happily as he ran off to the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom to do as he asked.

You look over at Carmy fondly and smile softly. “You’re so good at this Dad thing” you gently brush his curls from his eyes. He smiled and took your hand, kissing your palm and fixing your engagement ring so the stone was straight

“And you’re fucking amazing at this Mom thing, baby” He rubbed over your belly gently. “Were you still in the mood for the Birria tacos that you sent me last night?” he asked and you hum with a satisfied nod

“You are the best in the whole world. My back is killing, I think jellybean has been sitting on my tailbone since the drive home so I’m gonna go have a bath while you get that goin’ - hopefully the water gets her to move” You carefully got up and he stood of course quicker then you could given your condition and is sure to help you.

“That sounds like a great idea babe - here I gotchu I’ll get the bath ready you just focus on getting undressed and picking out some comfy clothes you wanna wear after yeah? I’ll make sure they’re nice and warm for you when you get out” he said as he helped you up the stairs. You were used to this routine now, his anxiety while you were pregnant very much mirrored his sisters, which was just taking care of absolutely every need you could possibly have assistance with and attempting to prophesize what the need would be before you’d even requested it. You had tried fighting him on it before but it just made everything worse, and when you finally relented and stopped being so stubborn, you saw it could be really nice to be doted on.

“You always make the best baths so I wont say no” you told him as your son came out of his room and heard you guys talking in your bedroom and came in getting up on your bed and sitting with you

“Whatcha doin mooommy” he said playfully and hugs around your neck before kissing your face and you giggle a bit at how he still grabbed peoples faces and mushed them into his lips in that little kid way when he kissed someone.

“Well Mommy needs a little bit of rest so Daddy is running me a bath, and you guys are gonna get to have bear and cub time while you make us some dinner yeah? You gonna do such a good job at cutting our vegetables?” you asked him and he nods happily

“One second Mommy- wait” he got off the bed by carefully sliding on his belly and runs off to his room, coming back a few moments later with his favorite spiderman submarine bath toy “Here Mommy, so you dont get bored” he said sweetly and handed it over.

You pout “Thank you, baby, that’s so kind of you to share your favorite toy” you kiss the top of his curly head and look up as Carmy came in from your ensuite bathroom “Look Daddy- Gio is sharing his favorite toy with me, Isn’t that so nice?” you gush and Carmy gasps, ever making big deals at good gestures and behaviors that Gio had exhibited.

“Wow, Gio! That’s a very nice thing to do. Are you gonna share your toys with baby sister when she gets here?” he squatted to his level and Gio nodded with a big smile showing his cute little baby teeth he would still have for a few more years.

“All of em’ Daddy just how Eva shares with me too! And- and we can teach baby sister how to make dinner with us- and we can show her how to play hide and seek -” Carmy nods and nods as he goes on humming along and when the kid finally paused to breathe Carmy seized the opportunity to pick him up.

“Mommy, your bath is ready, well be makin’ dinner” he gave you a peck on the lips and Gio copied him after which always made you giggle and pout because you knew by kindergarten he’d stop that, so you enjoyed these small innocent childlike things while you could.

“I love you both” you ruffled Gio’s hair on the way to the bathroom which made him giggle as Carmy made their way down to the kitchen. You made it into the bathroom and the scent of roses and honey hit your nose, emitting from the lukewarm bubblebath in the corner since Carmy knew taking hot baths early on could induce miscarriage or premature labor from the birthing classes that we attended. You had your tall refillable cup filled with lemon ice water, as well as a cup of lavender chamomile tea and your latest fantasy novel that you’d been indulging in before bed.

You hadn’t even realized how long you’d been in once you stripped and got to reading, that when Carmy came in he chuckled a bit. “I was expecting you to be sitting on the bed in your towel scrolling on your phone, you’ll be a prune come on baby this waters getting cold, heres your clothes theyre nice and warm” he turned the towel warmer off, opening it and resting the towel over his shoulder as he helped you up carefully and helped you wrap the bath sheet around yourself.

It was something that you (he) had indulged in purchasing during your last pregnancy when your belly had gotten too big for the regular towels you both had and that made you have a fit one morning, so he was sure with these towels it would never happen again and it hadn’t. He nestled the fluffy black fabric around the top of your breasts, under your arms, before tucking it so it wouldn’t slip. “I only have 15 chapters left, it was getting good” you explained as he helped you step out of the tub and stuck his arm in the soapy water, finding the plug for you and pulling it.

“Yeah? I got bedtime t’night babe. Dinners almost ready, it has like 30 minutes left simmering, I’ll go get his bath done now, and then after dinner we can settle down and watch a movie and you can read your book, mm?” he kissed your temple gently as you dried off before dropping your towel when he had put lotion on his hands and he rubbed some of your stretch mark cream on your tummy for you per your usual after bath/shower routine as you responded“I could go for another rerun of into the spiderverse, we both know thats what he’s gonna pick since he’s choosin’- and the apple doesnt ever fall too far” earning a chuckle from him that made you feel warm and fuzzy.

You heard giggles coming from Gio’s bathroom as Carmy gave him a bath, listening to him draw little animals for him and asking him what they are “Whats that one called, Cub?” you hear him ask

“Thats a Cow!!!” he replied excitedly

“Oh! I know what this one says - it’s easy, the Cow says…..meeeeow! Right?” Carmy said jokingly earning playful squeals and giggles from your son

“Noooo Daddy! The Cows say moo! The Kitties say meow!” he corrected matter of factly

“Whaaaat! Kid- I think you got your animals all mixed up, I’m pretty sure that Kitties say blub blub blub!” he jokes and your son laughed again

“Alright c’mon head back so we can rinse out this stinky hair” he teased earning a

“Noooo i’m not stinky you’re stinky!” from your son which made you giggle a bit. You made sure every 5 minutes or so you were making your way over to the simmering pot on the stove and giving it a stir, and being sure the homemade tortilla shells werent burning in the oven, before sitting back down and resuming your book. You only had to do that about 3 times before your son comes skipping out with his favorite blanket and stuffed brown bear in his tonka truck pajamas

“Mommy smell my hair!” he said and got up on the couch sitting on his knees next to you. You bent over and smelt his damp curly head and hum impressed

“Woooooow is that bluey strawberry shampoo?!” you asked him and he smiled and nodded “An-and after cookies Daddy said he will help me brush with the bluey strawberry toothpaste - move this now Mommy I wanna sit” he pushed your book out of your lap and plopped down

“What did Mama and Daddy say about please, mm? It’s polite to ask Mama and Daddy please if you want us to hold you” you reiterated and he nods, wrapping his arms around you

“Sorry mumma love you” he said and you rubbed his back gently, kissing the top of his head

“Love you too baby boy, lets go get your book so we can read while Daddy finishes up dinner?” you asked him and he nodded, getting up and walking over to the little shelf in the living room and squatting down looking at the titles. You smiled to yourself seeing as he was so big brained he could read at a kindergarten level 2 years early but was still wearing pull ups to bed.

“This one” he comes over with The Missing Piece meets The Big O by Shel Silverstein.

“Ohhhh, this one - Daddy looooves this one. He picked your favorite Daddy!” You held up the book and he turns and looks

“That's a great pick cub, momma does a great job at reading that one” he said and you smile, cuddling in Gio as he nestles into you close as you opened the book and beginning to read,

“The missing piece sat alone, waiting for someone to come and take it somewhere”

After so many tacos you looked 3 more months pregnant then you really were, you, Gio, and Carmy were snuggled up on the couch. You were in the middle because they both needed to be touching you apparently and Carmys arm was once again around your side rubbing your belly in sweet little strokes as you focused on your kindle while he and cub focused on the movie. Gio had insisted before you started it that he goes and gets his spiderman plush toy to hold during the movie and covered himself up in his spiderman blanket hoodie Richie and Eva had gotten him last Christmas as well.

You sigh contently resting your head on Carmy’s shoulder, smiling a bit to yourself as you feel the tiny little butterfly like kicks in your belly. “You cant feel it cause shes only a bell pepper right now, but shes moving all around, I think she hears you guys- or feels you, I dunno” you said softly. Carmy lights up

“Really?” he asked gently

“Hiiiiiiii baby sister!!!” Gio lifts up your shirt and says onto your stomach causing you to laugh.

“She said Hi big brother!” you tease and he giggled

“Babies cant talk mama! Baby cousin Mickey doesnt talk” he giggled and you lean in really close until your foreheads are touching

“Mmhmm- but I’m your Mama, and were connected - in our brains! Thats why you only get one mama! I heard her in my brain she said hi big brother I cant wait to meet you!” you said in a small mousey voice as you tickled him and he squealed and laughed, Carmy making sure to wrap his arm around your belly protectively in case he accidentally kicked you from the tickle attack.

“Ok! Ok no more please!” Gio said and you stopped, sitting up and he giggled

“You’re silly mommy” he wrapped you in a hug again, nuzzling his face on your ribs and kissing the top of your belly “I can’t wait to meet you too baby sister, we can watch Into the Spiderverse together - it’s the bestest movie ever” he said and got comfy laying on your arm again as you held him.

You got back into your book, only having about 4 chapters left before the end of it so you could hopefully be finishing the series by the time you give birth, knowing you you’ll be disappointed you wont know what would happen for a while since the newborn stage is just a whirlwind of tests and appointments and sleepless nights. When the movie had about 40 minutes left to it, Carmy gently squeezed your breast to get your attention and your head snaps up to look at him, he nodded over to Gio and you look on your side to see him peacefully sleeping next to you.

You sigh gently, knowing that once you woke him for teeth brushing and bed he would ask you about his cookie, and that would prolong bedtime - but you felt guilt for waking him up yourself. “Get the cookies” you whispered and he huffed a chuckle before carefully unwrapping himself from you before padding to the kitchen. As soon as he heard the crinkle of the pastry paper from the box after carmy got it out of the fridge he was sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“Daddy can I have my cookie now?” he asked after yawning. You giggled shaking your head and ruffling his now dry hair

“Daddy was getting you your cookie bud, go sit at the table after I’ll help you brush and give you a kiss and Daddy will tuck you in and read you your story mm?” you ask and he nodded, going over to the table and you lifted him up into his chair.

“Thank you Daddy!” he said thankfully as Carmy set the plate with the entire chocolate chip cookie on it, one of the ridiculously big ones from the restaurant.

“Carm!” you look at the plate as Gio’s eyes widen and smile grows, picking up the cookie and taking a big bite.

“What! Thats not the only one!” He pointed to the box on the counter and you roll your eyes.

“Half next time, hes either gonna have nightmares or be bouncing off the walls at 4 am” you sigh a bit and went over to the box, taking one out and eating it over the kitchen sink. He followed you in, wrapping his arms around you and resting his hands on your belly, rubbing little back and forth strokes with the pads of his thumbs.

“My bad, Mama, sorry- I shoulda asked” He said gently and kissed the base of your neck “Can I have a nibble” he said in your ear low enough for only the two of you to hear before nibbling at the sweet spot on your neck and squeezing your breasts. You giggle quietly, knowing that Gio was too focused on the monstrous cookie in his hand to be anywhere other then cloud 9 right now.

“After you put cub to bed maybe i’ll think about it lover” you turn your face to the side, giving him a slow and gentle open mouthed kiss, holding the cookie up in front of your lips so if Gio just so happened to look up he wouldn’t see what was going on. It went on for a few moments, his hands trailing down to your hips that had never gone back to their original place after you gave birth, but each and every time you screwed he reminded you how much he loved it.

When Cub said “Mommy?” you jumped a bit, being so lost in the moment and pulled away, looking over

“Sup’ honey?” you asked

“Did dinosaurs have teeth?” he takes another bite of his cookie. You took a deep breath, shoving down the aggravation that was having nearly every moment of alone time being taken by your offspring

“Mmhmm! They had teeth” you answer evenly

“Did they like having teeth?” he wondered out loud and you shrug

“Daddy, did Dinosaurs like having teeth?” you asked and he planted a gentle kiss on your shoulder

“We like having teeth, so I’d think so, cub. It helps them do alot of things, what do your teeth help you do?” he asked him knowing it was easiest if you gave a generic answer and tossed the ball back to them in regards to how kids went at this age

“We like to eat, and we eat candy, and we eat pasta, and - and we eat veggies-” he went on and you drop the rest of your cookie in the box.

“Let me know when he’s ready” you whispered to Carm and he nods, watching as you grabbed your kindle and headed back to the bedroom. It wasn’t that you were annoyed at Gio. It was just your hormones likely getting in the way. You were starting to creep up on that window of pregnancy where you were nearly insatiable all the time, needing more and more of Carmy - last time it went on for a solid 2 months, but this time it was starting earlier and you thought it likely had something to do with seeing just how good he was with your other little one, on top of all the hormones.

But, on top of having another kid this also made it very difficult to have that time with you, especially with having a kid home for summer break from pre-k, and having to manage work, and neither of you could bare for sending him off to some sleepaway camp, so you settled for him sleeping over Richies or Sugars when they really realized that Carmy was needing a break. He never dropped the ball with Gio, though. No matter how tired or worn thin or in need of a break he was, just like tonight - he would find time to get away, come home, make him dinner, and put him to bed before going back off to finish his shift and come home around one am.

It was only about another chapter of your book that went by before Carmy came to tag you in, gently knocking on the bedroom frame to get your attention. “He’s ready for you, im gonna take the trash out i’ll be right in for ‘em” he told you and you nodded with a small smile “Thanks Bear” you put your kindle on the nightstand and got up. You shuffled to his bedroom in your slippers and bedtime robe, hand rested over your belly as you walked and you see Cub sitting on his spiderman sheets in his racecar bed.

“Who’s ready to brush those teeth!” you went over and kissed the top of his head. He looked up from his little etch-a-sketch that he’d been playing with, “I am mama” he said sweetly before getting up and heading to his bathroom with you following behind.

Once Carmy had been suckered into 2 stories instead of just one, he was able to get Giovanni tucked in for the night and he came to bed. He had already started your nightly routine of rubbing shea butter on your belly and had moved on to rubbing your swollen aching feet with massage oil.

“So I was thinking earlier…” you look down at your ring that you hadnt taken off yet, nervously spinning it around your finger.

“M’listenin’” he tears his gaze from the cooking show he’d put on the tv as you read your book and you looked over at him, nervously biting the inside of your lip and he stopped rubbing your foot. “I know that look, whats going on?” he asked gently “Talk t’me princess” he told you and rubbed soothing strokes back and forth over the top of your foot and over your ankle.

“I just….my sister asked me if this was a shut up ring” you admit a bit nervously and he crinkled his brow in the sweet undoubtedly Carmy way

“The fuck is a shut up ring?” he asked. Allthough he swore, there was no anger in his voice, just genuine confusion.

“Like- like- I guess when a girl talks about getting married too much he will get her a ring or something just to get her to shut up even if hes not happy and he’s more likely to settle especially if you already have a baby - and you keep talking about making things real and this feels so real- but I just feel like you dont care” you swallowed the lump as it began to grow in your throat and his features softened, grabbing a kitchen towel he brought up to wipe his hands after he was done his massages for the night and wiped them clean of the oil to be sure he could rub your hair without getting it all oily.

“C’mere” he sat against the headboard and opened his arms. When you snuggled into him he rubbed your back gently and kissed the top of your head, allowing you to relax and shed a few tears as you needed to before he spoke again “I asked you to marry me, A - so that all this dumb tax shit is rectified, and B - in case god fuckin forbid baby, something happens to me or you - we get to decide whats next. I don’t-” he swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath before he continued. “I don’t want anyone to think they can steal what i’ve built for you, and our kids. The restaurant is theirs babe. That is their 60% stake in it. All of this, the house, our savings - all of it is for them. I want them to have no problem in getting it when we go” he explained and you could burst into tears at how relieved you felt.

Here you were, all these past few months keeping yourself up and pacing, making yourself sick over this - over thinking that you were becoming a chained burden to your future husband just because he created life with you. When the whole time you could have just talked to him, and your stupid pregnancy hormones were making you crazy thinking he would hate you for even asking. But instead of crying, ever the random hormone imbalance that came with pregnancy, you just started to laugh. You sat up, wiping your tears as you giggle, before pulling him into a kiss and he chuckled a bit when you pull away.

“Do you mind filling me in on the joke?” he asked and you nod with a smile

“I dont know why I was ever taking marriage advice from my sister who’s been divorced three times when your sister who’s only ever been happily married has been telling me that my sister is a fucking fuck”

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