#my father is a stupid son of a bitch that instead of helping my mom he just starts yelling

[sapphicwritergal]

Horikoshi is a professional mind fucker, he could be a virgin yet the way he writes fucks with the mind, I'M A VICTIM.

Endeavor s1, 2,3,4 = Referred to as a complete ASSHOLE, pushed his beliefs on his son (Horikoshi sucked his cock enough to make him nicer in the backstories) every piece of information we are given about this man in these seasons are that he's a dick, he fucked up his only family and then switched up once he became number one, or when he knew he'd be number one, it's honestly fuckin sad, and then in seasons 5,6,7 we see this always gentle, good helping guy, "çharacter development—" SHUT UP, WHAT SHOTO HAS IS DEVELOPMENT EVEN IF IT'S FUCKING SPEEDED ALONG.

Rei = She agreed and was sold off but when you're raised to be a of use to your family or to save your family and you don't really care, Rei has spoken up, she's tried, but she never has a position of power, she can't speak like she should but only could when Enji was in a hospital bed, she was in a mental hospital from the time she scarred Shoto to when he was in highschool, I'm sorry for to be there that long is horrendous and to be put in the same placement as the man that would hit you when you defended your children and hit those children and hit YOU in front of those children, baby I'd go insane too, "Oh but when she married Endeavor she knew-" If she knew she wouldn't defend her children, and she expected them to be raised into heroes but by beating them around the age of five and six was not in the review.

Bakugou = This is where the tomatoes come, and it's completely normal to like him even if I don't, he's a dick, all three seasons he's a dick, he simmers down because all mights retirement humbled him, it's not bad to give a downright dick a bad arc so you can put him through hell and fix him, that's not bad, but admit he was a bully, admit he's downright disrespectful a majority of times, the way he only gets nice to Midoriya is when they drag his ass to U. A, I hate hearing his inner dialogue about Midoriyas situation, if being a bitch until you need to be nice is character development then I'm not for it, and I don't mind when characters who are dicks get kindness but we have him dragging Midoriya and suddenly it's them against the world.

Shoto, poor Shoto, see he's very solid then he breaks apart, like ice that melts when hell is on him, no Im alluding to his parents And his connection with them, Shoto despite having a grudge is right through and through, his father drove his mom insane and then she was in a mental hospital, his rebelling is not wrong, it could be seen as him trying to oppose the abuser yet makes him slightly feel that he has to stop using fire for a bit until his mom is like it's all fine and you do you babes, he's always been a snark to Bakugou so it's really stupid to make him the resident punching bag, "Oh but Shoto sees Bakugou as a friend—" THAT'S FINE HOWEVER THIS TAKES AWAY HIS CHARACTERIZATION OF SEASONS 1,2,3 AND MAYBE 4, Bakugou being high and mighty only for Shoto be like fuck out of my way.

Hawks = I almost tricked my mind, he looks good but he's murdered twice and I'm saying that I don't give a FUCK about what Twice could have done, shit, I just don't like the fact they became friends and he just betrayed Twice, it's like if time came and you both are friends and he's hired to kill you for some reason, mf will kill you, he's tainted by the hero commission and it's sad, because his dreams were the advantage, he realizes that over time, he didn't kill just anyone that was a friend and that is backstabbing and then instead of him still seeing what he did as the right thing, just let him have conflict like a normal person unless we're revealed that he's a sociopath, I don't hate him but the anti tag makes me feel comfortable.

[iris-sistibly]

So we are officially half-way through this whole series, this isn't as intense as the previous episodes and I just generally enjoy seeing the Hong family having a taste of a simpler life.

📍Though I wanna slap Hae-in's mom so hard for still being such a bitch at the family who took them in when they have nowhere else to go, and the way that she resents Hae-in for having a REAL mother and daughter bond with Hyun-woo's mom instead of her? The audacity! Like she constantly treats Hae-in like crap, she didn't care when Hae-in fainted and worried more about her son being uncomfortable in their current situation, it's kinda confusing to me that she wonders why Hae-in never treated her the way she treats her MIL. But then again, she's a narcissist and a gaslighter, what am I expecting? The Baek family are much better people than me, because if I were them and someone disrespects MY family in my OWN home, I would have kicked her out this instant and let her sleep with the cows. Shout-out to Aunt Beom-ja for calling her out for the nth time.

Edit: I just remembered this now but I'm disappointed in Hae-in's dad. He cared so much about his daughter when they found out about the divorce, but couldn't even defend her when his wife was bad-mouthing her. I'm not expecting anything from mama's boy Soo-cheol, and I get that the irony of his character is him being the head of the family only by name but in reality, he doesn't have a spine, but he could have at least tried for Hae-in. Then again, the only people who defended Hae-in were Hyun-woo and Aunt Beom-ja. 🤷

📍Hae-in is basically the only person who can put Soo-cheol in his place, but she also has a soft spot for him. The way she almost patted her brother's back to comfort her and then stopped herself because she probably found it cheesy (I mean, they're asian siblings iykyk), but stays beside him without saying anything and just letting him cry was actually heartwarming.

📍Hae-in realizing that the mp3 player in Hyun-woo was actually hers and they've already met when they were teenagers 😭 how I wish Hae-in just told him straight that it was hers so poor Hyun-woo didn't have to make some random excuses so she wouldn't feel jealous or upset (he knows a jealous Hae-in is terrifying). Speaking of which, the text message scene was killing me, the way they messaged each other (even though they didn't actually send it) was so husband and wife coded y'all can't convince me that they're divorced. I wish they'd truly reconcile already and become lovey-dovey once more!

📍While it's pretty clear that they're still very much in-love with each other, part of me feels like Hae-in is pushing Hyun-woo away so she could free him from all of these burdens and when the inevitable happens, Hyun-woo could move on. While it's true that she's still hurting with everything that happened between them, I also sense some guilt in her, I mean she's not stupid, she knows what kind of crap he'd been through while living with her family. Meanwhile, Hyun-woo willingly stayed by her side, accompanying her in medical check-ups, helping her entire family to regain what had been stolen from them, protecting Hae-in without ever asking for anything in return (not even asking her to take him back) is just...ugh! It pains me, but their current situation will surely bring them closer to each other and I would love them to have that moment where they'd just talk about them.

📍I'm not surprised that Soo-cheol is not Geon-u's father, but aren't y'all curious to know who is? And I do have the feeling that Da-hye loves Soo-cheol for real, but she hasn't realized it yet. Still faithfully waiting for that day when she'll finally help the Hong family and get rid of that witch and her walking red flag of a son. Also, I feel like Grace would also testify once these scumbags go into trial, and I hope that happens soon.

📍Speaking of the devil's child, now that the show is slowly revealing the back story of Seul-hee and Eun-seong, basically they're saying that the latter is only acting under his mom's orders who by the way he resents so much but still works with her anyway? I thought he was cunning, turns out he's actually a stupid cunt. I mean, imagine going through all of this bullshit only for us to find out that his ultimate goal wasn't to take the entire Hong family's wealth like her greedy birth giver but to take Hae-in for himself as if she's some kind of a prize or trophy that he could get after ruining her and her entire family? If that's so, then he is really an idiot. If he thinks that Hae-in would desperately crawl to him because they're poor now then he can continue to dream. Hae-in would die without Hyun-woo but would rather die than be with Eun-seong. I do have the feeling that this bitch will use grandpa Hong to black mail/negotiate with the family and god forbid bring them back to the mansion (again, wtf), perhaps the only person who would be dumb enough to take the bait is probably Mama Hong because she's well...dumb too. And no, I don't care if he cares about Hae-in being sick, he's disgusting.

📍The thing that sets him and Hyun-woo apart is how they treat Hae-in, Eun-seong sees her as some kind of an object that he could snatch even if she's already married to someone else, he doesn't take no for an answer, has crossed her boundaries multiple times and only cares about getting her. While Hyun-woo treats Hae-in like an actual human being, yes he made mistakes and hurt Hae-in in the past but he sucked it all up and is constantly doing right by her. He respects her boundaries, never makes her feel uncomfortable, and cares about her well-being. Hyun-woo would be willing to let Hae-in go if it would make her happy, while Eun-seong would gladly make her miserable if it meant being with her. These two characters my friends, are love and selfishness defined.

📍Papa Baek and Papa Hong becoming drinking buddies will never not be cute.

[msclaritea]

saw your stupid post complaining a about queercoded Carol Danvers: bitch, MCU Carol has been read as queer since the moment they made a movie where she doesn't have a love interest, is best friends with a woman to the level she helped raising her kid. to the level the military gave her things to Maria instead of any Danvers. to the level Monica tells her she didn't get along with her parents so the Danbeaus became her family.

nothing screams lesbian louder than raising a kid with your single mom friend and be so important to the kid that she's bitter over you fucking up for thirty years.

nothing screams lesbians as much as leather jacket, ripped jeans, and flannel shirt.

this bitch has been gay from the moment they decided to make Carol Danvers sorta Mar-Vell protege instead of making Mar-Vell a dude and Carol just his love interest like the original version in the comics.

then they make her have a very clear marriage of convenience with the prince of the gayest planet of the MCU.

bonus that the fucking king of Asgard calls her Marv? makes a strap-on joke? those bitches fuck and fuck good.

not to count that oh, she's a fictional character? let this bitch be the biggest gay ever. if they're not gonna give us canonically queer characters from the comics like Loki, gimme Captain Carol "Raised a Kid With My Best Friend, Definitely Bangs the King Of Asgard and Is a Lesbian Car Mom" Danvers.

it's the internet, you don't get much space to be a incel, pathetic queerphobic bitch lol

WOW! I missed this particular load of b.s. Get a load of the sheer damage that the Queer Identity Cult has been doing to people and their common sense. Are you so warped, that you have never, ever heard of a person, male or female, not getting along with their family and going out, making their own?

Newsflash, HONEY! A shitload of kids from every background does that. I did that. My family sucked at a lot of things. The minute I was old enough, I moved to another state, made best friends with a crazy white chick, and was invited to move into the house, by HER mother. We had a blast..AND BOY, WERE WE BOY CRAZY. If I wasn't such a rolling stone, I'd still likely be there, helping her with her now grown son, and I know this, because over 30 years later, we are still close friends.

I can also imagine being missed by a child from another friend because I WAS missed by a loving goddaughter, as I bopped all over the place, for years and can easily imagine her being hurt, if something was wrong with her mother, and I did not contact them. That is how it works, even with the family that you choose. They have the right to be upset, if you fuck up.

I ALSO enjoyed wearing ripped jeans, flannel and leather jackets in school. It was called a phase, and I THINK I can blame it on Duran Duran, but I'll have to check my photo album.

I also had a preppy period that I CAN blame on Molly Ringwald. Everyone who wears flannel is not Gay, just like every girl with short hair is not a goddamn Lesbian.

You all have really screwed yourselves up by trying to command that every human being adhere to some kind of uniform to match their sexuality. It is beyond ignorant. One of you stupid fucks assumed that my sister was a Lesbian, just because she rocks a Halle Berry short. Another newsflash: My Sis? Loves DICK. Truly. She also has some pretty awesome male relationships in her life.

Also, how can Carole Danvers be BOTH canonically love interest to a man, in the comics, like you just said, if she's now suddenly, considered a Lesbian? You're also basically saying that every person who even sings, is Gay.

What I'm hearing you say is that women cannot possibly:

wear flannel and torn jeans

have chosen family

have fights with their father

go through sexual harassment or mysoginy

..even be missed by a child that they were close to..unless they are a Lesbian.

But hey, since you brought all of this up, let's talk about Nia DaCosta. It seems now that she was very determined to Queer code Carole Danvers in Captain Marvel. That got solidified real well by the sabotaging BULLSHIT pulled by little Miss Kamala Khan, herself. That was quite the interview she did, making sure that people knew Nia DaCosta had made the film Queer, "But it had to be cut out. Boo hoo! Trolls should attack the movie MORE!"

Message effing received. The whole thing was a fuck over. And ever since, you all have been trying to redeem the damage YOU have done. THERE IS NONE. You're disgusting.

[fizzigigsimmer]

The Space School AU

I am screeching over the Starfleet Academy news. This series has been in rumors since I was in university, I swear. Yesterday it was finally ordered for Discovery+. I am an utter nerd so pardon me while I celebrate by shaking my fandoms together like a champagne bottle and seeing what comes out.

Billy always wanted to go to the stars. After his parents divorced and his mom moved off planet she would send him holocards and vids from distant planets where she helped stabilize and revitalize federation planets effected by war and natural disasters. Whenever he needed to get away from Neil, Billy would drive up from San Diego just to park outside the Starfleet campus and pretend for a little bit that he was one of those cadets, on his way to discover the universe and the best that life had to offer. But eventually he always has to turn back around and head home to the cramped apartment he shares with his dad and his new wife. Billy has been preparing his whole life for the star fleet entrance exam with an eye on several science and engineering degrees, and the year he turns sixteen he takes the exam and passes on the first try.

He’s on the young side for a cadet, and he expects to be placed in a room with another protege type but he gets Steve instead, the infamous son of two celebrated Starfleet officers who is returning from a year of probation and spends all his time mooning over his ex-girlfriend and rescuing stray creatures. It’s obvious to Billy that Steve is only here because his father is an admiral, and worse - Steve knows it too. He knows he can fall asleep in class and forget his portion of the group assignment because the commanders will bend over backwards to make special accommodations for him. Everyone else knows that they have to receive at least an ‘ME’ (Meets Expectations) in all of their classes the first year or risk probation, and once you’re on probation the academy disciplinary council can decide to send you home whenever they feel like it. If Steve were anyone else, Billy knows he would have been expelled ages ago.

Billy’s double majoring as well as completing premedical studies and he somehow manages to get a BE in his command elective Diplomacy: Hostile Species. It’s so stupid because that class is basically a joke and the instructor has no sense of humor. Billy wouldn’t actually tell a hostile alien to eat his ass.

His track advisor offers to speak to the instructor for him about raising his term score with additional credits - the catch, his advisor is Dr. Harrington, Steve’s mother. And the assignment she has in mind is tutoring Steve. Billy has to make sure that Harrington receives an ME in all of his classes this term or risk academic probation - shameless blackmail! But Dr. Harrington seems to believe he can do it, and it’s not like Billy can complain to anyone. So Billy spends spring term up Steve’s ass, figuratively as he tries to cure his depression and glues him to chairs until he finishes his assignments. And then also, quite literally as they get closer and he figures out that Steve is just fucking lonely, and can be easily motivated with praise and touch.

 It’s like having a big bitchy cat who keeps coming home knocked up (their dormitory is filling up with one eyed cats and three legged dogs, and whatever that grey thing is with the fucking teeth) but it works. They work. They bitch, and they scrap, but they also laugh more and they’re able to say the real shit they can’t tell anyone else. They grow. They find their rhythm and they find themselves, realizing their value is not in what they achieve. Steve passes the term and shocks his father by switching from the command school to the Division of Arts & Sciences to study Sociology &  Zoology. He eventually learns from his new classmate Dustin that his sometimes cat eating pet alien (Doug) is called a demodog and hails from a hostile planet in a distant star system. No one knows how he ended up on earth but Steve dreams about one day helping return him to his family.

Billy gets his extra credit and eventually graduates with a boyfriend, a bunch of new pets, and for the first time, he doesn’t have to look up at the stars to find a reason to live. All he has to do is turn over in bed and all the stars are right there in Steve’s eyes.

Post school, Billy has years of field residency ahead of him and so does Steve and the chances that they’ll be placed on the same planet let alone in the same area is slim, but exceptions are made for married individuals or whatever the cultural equivalent of their species. They’re both committed to making the distance work and Billy could always call in a favor with Dr. Harrington (she loves him and would pull strings to get him stationed wherever he asked) but his thoughts keep straying back to the idea of marriage. He knows 20 is young to partner, but he can’t think of a more perfect life than exploring the final frontier with Steve by his side.

[strangelittlethingi]

I don’t need the regrets of others, I want to speak out and share my story. if you want you can share yours, whatever this story is, I will be interested to read

I look at myself and think: who have I become?

a sweet and cheerful girl became a monster

What am I getting this for? this emptiness that has nothing to fill? I don't want to harm myself... I want to harm others

my heart is breaking, feeling like I’m going crazy and no one will help me. did I ask my family for help? Yes. did they help? No. Mom just won't try to make an appointment for me to see a doctor.

seeing the pain of others like that... attracts, makes me laugh and gives me confidence, but on the other hand I’m ashamed of it

how I tried to kill my father, the son of a bitch, who slept while drunk, for the umpteenth time? I lost count... he's been drinking since I was born, he's still drinking, and more than 20 years of his alcoholism have passed! ever since my older brother was born... this monster is also jealous of my mother! although he once molested me when I was very little... this happened at about 3-5 years old, I put it together from my memories.

I'm not ashamed. I'm in pain. my heart is bursting with pain and resentment. he saw in me a sexual object that he would use and nothing would happen to him. It won’t happen to him, but yes to me. he broke me, killed me mentally, destroyed me. and I'm amazed. Mom would definitely notice that something happened to me! but what? That's right, she's holding on to her dick instead of saving her daughter. it hurts so much. Now he’s not doing anything to me, but recently it seemed to me that he was trying to touch me on the butt unnoticed, I see, feel and understand everything, monster!

but no one helps me, absolutely. my last and only friend left me without a word. it broke my heart. she left me absolutely alone... several years have passed, and I have come to terms with it a little, but it still hurts. semi-friends simply stopped communicating with me in 5th grade, when it all started. sometimes they laughed at me, but what happened at the other school... I hate it. at the beginning everything was fine, but after the autumn holidays... Someone spread a rumor about me and people believed it... they filmed me without permission and quietly, took photos, and clearly discussed me in a chat. on the last day at that school, before spring break, one boy walked towards me and openly began to insult me while I was walking to the bus stop, I restrained myself, but at home I broke down and burst into tears. nothing helped. after that day I don’t go to school, I’m homeschooled, although it’s hard to call it that... I hardly do anything, studying makes me sick.

They're constantly cutting my brains! I didn't do this, I didn't do that! although I did it!! they always notice what I DIDN'T do. I was in a good mood and it was a holiday for them! that is, for them I am always gloomy and angry? a little disappointing... one day my brother said “quiet, it looks like she’s going through a thought process, let’s not disturb”, that is, for him I don’t think at all? what am I stupid? it’s a shame... it also seems to them that I don’t care at all, but they have no idea how dear they are to me, but when I realize this, it begins to disappear, and almost no one is important to me.

sometimes yes, I can’t do anything at all... but a few years ago, they remember what kind of regime I had!? almost none! and now they just woke up and began to realize this and scold me? it hurts.

I was left alone... only the streamers save me a little and cheer me up, one man is so cool, cheerful, even though the audience is small, it’s great to chat with him and sometimes I talk to him and he reacts normally and tries to help a little and I really appreciate it! It’s not much, but it warms my empty, cold heart...

I know that I have serious problems, but I still can’t get help... I hope I get help and I don’t meet the end of life in a mental hospital.

Because of all this...I want to die. get peace. I'm constantly afraid, I don't sleep, I don't live... It hurts to live. I'm just trying to believe that there is something after death and I will finally get peace...

did you read all of this? seriously? thank you! ♡

[rainbowbeanstyles]

public diary amirite

[rowyn-writes]

A Mother's Love (Dean x Wife!Reader)

Warnings: Language, fluff, major angst, implications of divorce, arguing, Dean being mean to Jack

Pairings: Dean x Wife!Reader

Characters: Dean, Jack, Sam, Reader, Cas (mentioned only)

Word count: 2.7k

You threw your bag down as you entered the bunker, exhausted from your last hunt. This was one of the rare cases where you worked alone.

Sometimes you needed the time to yourself, away from all the men. Sometimes you would go hunting with Jody and Claire, but even then, those two argued like cats and dogs.

"Y/N," Jack smiled as you entered the kitchen. "How was the hunt?"

"It was pretty good, actually." You grinned as you sat across from him. "I was chasing down this werewolf in Tennessee, and it was really strange. He'd kill one person, turn the next, and repeat that cycle."

"That's. . . Weird." He furrowed his eyebrows.

"That's what I said. Well," You continued on with the story of your hunt, watching as Jack's eyes widened in amazement and awe.

"Y/N?" Dean called your name, entering the kitchen. "Hey, sweetheart. I didn't know you were home?"

You stood up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Sorry, babe. I got sidetracked. I was just telling Jack about my trip." You smiled, looking over at the boy. You were concerned, as the smile fell from his face and he looked away from you and Dean. "You okay, kid?"

"Yeah," He nodded, not meeting your eye. "I'll give you two some space." He mumbled as he walked out of the kitchen.

"Does he seem off to you?" You asked Dean.

"Nah, he acts like he usually does. Squirrelly and weird."

"Says the squirrel himself." You rolled your eyes. "Did something happen while I was gone?"

Dean said nothing as he looked down, an obvious indicator that he was guilty of something. "Dean," You growled lowly. "Did you say something to Jack? Something that would upset him somehow?"

When Dean didn't give you an answer, you shook your head as you follow Jack to his room.

"Jack." You called out. He seemed to be lost in thought, as he didn't react to your words. "Jack!" You said louder, causing him to turn around. There was a tiny amount of fear in his eyes. If you didn't know him, it wouldn't have affected you.

"What's wrong?" You asked softly, resting your hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing." He spoke. "Why would anything be wrong?"

"Jack, I saw how you reacted when Dean came in. You looked like a kicked puppy. Don't tell me it's nothing, kiddo."

In the time you had known Jack, you had grown to care for him deeply. You had always wanted kids, but in this life, it wasn't possible. Well, it was, but you knew you didn't want your children to do what you do. So when Jack was born, you felt extremely happy because it felt like you finally had a child. Albeit, he did look twenty.

"Dean doesn't like me very much." He admitted.

"I'm sure that's not true. . ." You argued weakly. In all honesty, you didn't think Dean liked Jack either. It's not like he was abusive, but he did treat him differently than everyone else.

"But it is, Y/N."

"How do you know, Jack? With Dean, it takes him time to warm up to people. It took him months to actually trust me. He's a cautious person."

"Did he threaten you too?" Jack asked, genuinely curious. His head was tilted to the side, his honey blonde hair falling into his eyes. He had gotten that head tilt from Cas.

"Dean. . . Threatened you?" You whispered hoarsely.

"Yes," He nodded. "He told me if I hurt you or Sam, or anyone, that he would be the one to hunt me down and kill me."

Your mouth popped open in horror. You could never imagine your sweet, loveable, goofy Dean threatening Jack. "What else did he say, Jack? Did he say anything prior to this?"

"He said that he doesn't think that I can be saved. He said that even though you and Sam think that I can, that he doesn't."

"Jack, you don't need to be saved. There is no saving to do. You are a good kid. You would never do anything to intentionally hurt anyone. I'm so sorry. I should have been there." You sigh.

"He's not wrong, Y/N. I can't be saved. What if I turn out like my father, my real father."

You frowned as you cupped his face in your hands. "Jack, you are nothing, and I mean nothing, like Lucifer. You are just like your mother. You are sweet, caring, and you are empathetic. Just like Kelly."

"You really believe that?" He whispered, tears forming in his eyes.

"No, I don't believe it, Jack. I know it. You are nothing like Lucifer. If anything, you are much more like Castiel."

"Really?" He smiled.

"Yeah," You nodded. "You see, I don't know if you know this, but Cas does this little thing where he tilts his head to the side if he doesn't understand something or if he's perplexed. And I noticed that you do the same thing." Jack's smile widened as you removed your hands from his face. "And neither of you have any knowledge of pop culture. Even though Cas was here for a lot longer than you, he never understood a single reference any of us made. Even if it was something like Scooby Doo." You giggled, feeling your throat tightening at the thought of your dead friend. "And you two state the obvious a lot. Not in a bad way, more in a comedic way. It lightens the mood nearly every time. Cas would rarely smile. When I asked him why, he would say that the world was going to hell and he didn't have anything to smile about. But when he did smile, it would make everyone else smile with him. The same goes for you. Just seeing that little toothy grin of yours makes me smile. I mean hell, you two even look a lot alike."

"Could you tell me more about him?" Jack asked.

"Of course, but I have something to take care of first. Then you and I will cuddle up and watch a movie and I'll tell you everything you want to know about Cas, okay?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." He spoke. "Before you go, could I ask you something?" You nodded. "If I were to have a mother figure, and I called her mom, do you think my mother would be upset?"

"No, sweetheart, I don't think she would be upset. I think that she would be happy that there's someone down here taking care of you and you feel comfortable enough to call them mom." You said, completely oblivious as to what Jack was suggesting.

"Then. . . Could I call you mom?"

You felt the air leave your lungs as his words hit you like a truck. Jack watched as tears welled up in your eyes. Jack was horrified; he had never meant to make you cry. "Yo-you want to call me m-mom?" You stammer.

"If you're not comfortable with it I understand. I'm sorry, Y/N, I-"

You cut him off with a tight embrace. "Of course you can call me mom." You whisper, squeezing the boy tightly.

"Why are you crying?" He questioned.

"These are happy tears, Jack. I'm not upset. It's just. . . I never thought that I would have children, but then you came along, and you gave me what I wanted. You gave me a chance to be a mother."

"Thank you for being here for me, mom."

You gave Jack a huge smile as you pulled away. "Okay," You said, putting a hand on his arm. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to deal with my ass of a husband."

---

"Dean Winchester," You boomed, roaming around the bunker in search for your husband.

"Ooooh, you're in trouble." You hear Sam snicker.

"But I didn't do anything. Wait, what day is it?" Dean asked frantically.

"April ninth." Sam quipped.

"Okay, no birthday, no anniversary, so there's that."

You entered The Dean Cave, as Dean called it, seeing red. "What the hell, Winchester." You growled. "Sam, out. Now."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Sam said, grabbing his bowl of popcorn and walking out of the room.

"Yes, darling, sweetheart, love of my life. What can I do for you?" Dean spoke sweetly, giving you those stupid, green doe eyes.

"Jack told me." You said simply. "He told me what you said to him. That if it comes down to killing him, that you would be the one to do it. That there was no saving him."

"Y/N, you have to understand where I'm coming from." He tried to reason with you. "You should have seen him. He was stabbing himself with a knife! And it closed up like it was nothing! It's not  normal. He's not normal."

"And?! None of us are normal, Dean. We've all died and came back to life. Sam didn't have a soul, he was hooked on demon blood, yet you were still there for him. You still believed in him. You died and became a demon, you bore the Mark of Cain and had a thing for God's friggin sister! And I still loved you through it. I have been brainwashed and manipulated into hurting all of you, and you still forgave me! Cas betrayed us, and we were still there for him. None of us are fucking normal! So what the hell, Dean? You're holding a grudge against Jack just because of who his dad is?"

"His father is Lucifer, Y/N!"

"Well that's stating the goddamn obvious!" You yelled.

"He could turn on us at any moment! We don't know this kid. We don't know what he can do."

"So we learn, Dean! We should help him figure out his way. Guide him in the right direction. Show him what a true, loving family looks like!"

"We are not his family, Y/N! And he's not our family. He never will be." Dean argued.

You flinched back, glaring at Dean. "How dare you! You son of a bitch! Whether you believe it or not, Jack is family. To me and to Sam. We care about him and love him!"

"He doesn't even know what love means!"

"Yes, he does! Because he feels things, Dean. He cares. He cares about all of us, including you. You know, he asked me if he could call me mom today. Did you know that? He trusts me and cares for me so much that he sees me as a mother figure."

"He's got you brainwashed, Y/N! Can't you see that?!"

"If he looked like his actual age, would you be acting like this?"

"What kind of question is that." He scoffed.

"If Jack looked four months old instead of twenty, would you still be treating him like this?" You asked steadily. Dean remained silent. "See! He is four months old, no matter how old he looks, he's still a baby."

"So, what, you want me to change his diaper or some shit?"

"No! I want you to treat him like a human being!" You yelled.

"But he's not human!"

You and Dean stood your ground, neither of you letting up. "Fine. I'm leaving then. And I'm taking Jack with me."

"No, you're not."

"Fucking watch me, Dean. I can't even look at you right now. Because you are not the man I married. That man was compassionate and caring. This one isn't. And until he comes back, I'm staying away." You cried.

Before Dean could get another word out, you left the den. You noticed that Sam was standing in the hallway, giving you a saddened look. "You're really leaving?"

"I'm sorry, Sam." You sobbed. "But I can't be around him right now. And I don't think Jack should be either. We're going to my parents house for a while. And until he gets his shit together, I'm not coming back.

"I know. I don't understand why Dean is acting like this." He mumbled.

"I don't either. It's so unlike him." You agreed.

"So what are you going to tell Jack?"

"Just that we're going to take a little road trip and visit my parents. I don't know, Sam, this whole thing is so strange to me. But I know have to go."

Sam frowned as he pulled you into a hug. "I'm really going to miss you. But you do what you need to do. And if you ever need anything, you call me, okay? I don't care what time of day it is, call me."

"I will." You squeeze Sam tightly. "Thank you for being an amazing brother and best friend." You pulled away, teary eyed as you parted from your brother in law. "I hope to be back soon."

You softly knocked on Jack's door before entering. "Hey, Jack." You smiled.

"Mom!" He said excitedly. "Are we going to watch movies now?"

"Actually, there's been a change of plans. Me and you are going on a road trip to visit my parents."

"Really? Are Sam and Dean coming with us?"

You swallowed hard, a lump forming in your throat. "No, actually. This is a trip just for us. Sam and Dean wanted to stay here just in case they find a case or something that can get Mary back from apocalypse world. So I'm going to help you pack and then we can get on the road."

---

You had sent Jack to your car, having him put everything in the trunk while you finished up things in the bunker. The last thing you grabbed was a machete that belonged to your father before he gave it to you.

"Don't go." A voice whispered. You turned to see Dean, who looked like he had been crying. "Please don't leave."

You swallowed hard, feeling tears rush to your eyes once more. "Will you accept Jack as family?"

"Y/N-" Dean said, exasperated. "He can stayed here but he's not family."

"That's not good enough, Dean. Because I know how you act around people you don't trust."

"You can't force me to trust him." Dean scoffed.

"That's not what I want. I want you to get to know him. I want you to try."

"Y/N. . . I just. . . I can't."

"I think. . . I think we need time apart." You mumbled.

"Y/N, please –"

"Only for a little bit." You assured him. "They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all." You gave him a sad smile, trying to control your tears.

You turned to leave before Dean's voice stopped you. "If you leave, then we're over. That's it. Don't bother coming home."

You sighed as you looked back at Dean. You cupped his face in your hands and gave him a slow, sensual kiss. You could feel salty tears on your lips as you memorized how Dean's mouth felt against yours. It was warm and soft. You could taste the remnants whiskey on his breath.

You pulled away slightly, resting your forehead on Dean's. You felt tears streaming down your face as you looked the man you had grown to love over the past ten years. You had been through hell and back, literally. You had lost each other, fell out of love and back in love.

"This isn't goodbye, Dean." You whimpered. "I swear it isn't. I love you with every part of my soul. I'm not choosing Jack over you, okay? I just need time. I need you to wait for me."

"That's all I've ever done, Y/N." Dean shook his head. "I waited on you when you were in relationships, when you were heartbroken, when your sister died, I waited on you to love me back. I'm tired of waiting. I will always love you, and you'll always be with me. You've changed me, and I'm so thankful for it. You've made me a better man. But I can't. . . I can't keep doing this, Y/N." He whispered as he slipped off his wedding band. "This is goodbye." He set the ring in your hand, curling your fingers around it. "Goodbye, sweetheart." He gave you one final kiss. But this one was rough and full of passion. It really was goodbye.

"Dean, please." You cried. He pressed a swift kiss to the crown of your head before leaving you standing alone in the library. Sobs racked through your body as you clutched Dean's ring to your chest. "Please come back." You whispered.

You wiped your face of tears and stuck Dean's ring in your pocket. There would be time for tears later. Right now you just needed to get out of the bunker. As you looked around the library, you realized you had never felt this alone.

[visforvengeance]

I saw stars // Rafe Cameron

Requested by: mm no one :)

Notes: i really love rafe and he just needs help. no hate against sarah. she's one of my faves. also i don't remember what happened to their mom so. i based this on that one part in nda by billie eilish that's all lmao

Warnings: like i tried my shot at angst, cursing, teeny tiny bit of manipulation, fighting (between rafe and ward), drug abuse (mentioned). death of a parent (mentioned), there's no spoilers here babes, I actually proofread this time. go me!!

Song

Third-person POV

Rafe paced in his room as his girlfriend sat on his bed. He couldn’t form one coherent thought but his mind was racing. The girl’s voice drowned out in the background. God, she was so worried. He’d called her here, saying it was urgent. But, he’s yet to say what was wrong. She got up and stood in front of him, he realized that she was there and looked up at her. “Baby, what’s wrong?” She pleaded for him to tell her something.

Lately, Rafe had gotten worse. The more Sarah hung out with the pogues, the more their father tried to reel her back in, the less Ward paid attention to how much his son needed him. Rafe fell deeper into his rabbit hole, but the only thing that was holding him afloat was his girlfriend. But even then, he was pulling her in with him too. “Rafe, please tell me what’s wrong. You’re scaring me!” She was so scared. Not of him but for him. She’d watch her boyfriend of 2 years get more unstable with each passing day.

Rafe couldn’t pinpoint which issue he should tell her about, there were so many. Sarah is being a bitch and hanging around the pogues JUST to spite their dad, Ward is fucking falling for it, Rose is being Rose, he’s not ok and no one fucking notices. “Nothing is wrong.” He couldn’t tell her. He had too much shit going on with his family and he couldn’t drag her into it. But, she wasn’t going to let him slide this time. She could see that everything was wrong. The drug abuse, the mental health decline, the lack of attention from his parents. It was breaking him and she’s the only one who seems to give a shit. So why won’t he let her in?

“I call bullshit, Rafe. Please talk to me.” He laughed, manically. “You want to know what’s wrong, babe? Let me tell you. Let’s start with the fact that I have a conniving little bitch of a sister who toys with my father. And a dad who I look up to that won’t give me the slightest bit of attention. Um, the pogues like to insert themselves in everything we do. I just can’t fucking win. So, what’s the point, y’know?” He was crying, although he didn’t realize it. His shedding tears turned to full-on sobbing as his head rested in the crook of his girlfriend’s neck. “Rafe..” she ran her hand through his hair.

He was just a little boy who needed love. She couldn’t imagine having to deal with the shit he does. She was tired for him. The more it sunk in, the angrier she got. She saw red at this point. “Is your dad here?” She whispered to him. He nodded and looked up at her with those pretty little eyes. “Why?” “He needs to get his head out of his ass and realize that everything isn’t about Sarah. He’s completely neglected you and Wheezie trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.”

He tried to stop her but his pleas were being ignored. She spotted Ward in his study and pulled Rafe in and closed the door behind him. “We need to have a little talk.” Ward tried to politely shut her down and get her to leave but she wasn’t having that. “No, you listen to me. Do you realize that other people exist other than Sarah? Like for instance, your other two kids? You’re so far up her ass that you can’t see that they actually need you, unlike her who is doing just fine with her found family.” The two men stood there, shocked as she tore into Ward.

“Your son adores you and all you do is treat him like some stepchild that you don’t want. Do you know how he deals with his pain? Drugs. He’s getting worse and you just watch. You berated him for his actions without even questioning why he does what he does.” Ward tried to defend himself against the younger girl. “Rafe knows that I love him, don’t you, son?” He only called him that to try and manipulate Rafe into doing what he wants.

“No, dad. I don’t. I really fucking don’t. You know, ever since mom died you just stop acting like you cared. I tried so hard to be the son you always wanted and it never fucking worked.” Ward stood there. The rage was evident in his eyes as he stared at Rafe. The younger Cameron was pouring his heart out to him and instead of showing the least bit of sympathy, he was just angry.

He lunged at Rafe, which caught him off guard. As Ward’s fist collided with his face, blood flew from it and onto the ground. Y/N didn’t know what to do as the two men fought. She was terrified for Rafe. The shuffling and her scream were all you could hear outside of the door. Rafe was on top and giving Ward a run for his money. “Rafe, please stop! We’ve made our point, you’re going to kill him!” He realized that his father was no longer fighting back and stopped.

Before they left, he stopped to say something. “Now I really see what you are. You’re just a sad little man, Ward. You only care about this stupid fucking treasure that you killed a man for. And all I ever did was try and help, but it never worked. So, fuck you. I’m done.”

He stormed out of his office with bloody clothing and a bloody nose. Now, they’re in Rafe’s bathroom. Y/N trying to clean his wounds. “Are you okay?” The concern was all over her face. She felt bad. Maybe she shouldn’t have inserted herself in their business. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone in there,” she said as he winced at the sensation on his lip.

“No, it’s fine. If anything, you helped. You’ve made me realize that I don’t have to deal with this shit. Will you come with me? We could leave here and forget all of this, it can just be us together.” Y/N thought about it. When she turned 18, all of her family had left. But she stayed for Rafe. So why shouldn’t they just leave?

“Of course I’ll leave with you. Tonight, right now. We pack our shit and go. You remember that trip to our vacation home in Texas? We could go there. It’s basically vacant now. What do ya say?” She smiled cheekily at him. His lips latched onto hers as they shared a passionate kiss. They loaded his things into the truck her dad had given her and they left without turning back. The lights of the Cameron home blurred in the distance and they drove off.

[abbatoirablaze]

Bad Girl's Club, Chapter 10

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings:  sexual harassment, being touched without consent, homophobia, mentions of trans porn, sexual thoughts, questioning sexuality.

“Has anyone noticed how the guys are being really weird around us today?”

“Yeah…Ransom didn’t even look at me in homeroom,” Jess frowned.  She looked at Lily who refused to look back in her general direction.  Instead, she dusted some imaginary dust from her designer bag.  Jess’ frown deepened as she studied her friend, “Lil…did you say something to your dad about what happened this weekend?”

She stopped attending to her bag and glared at her best friend and crossed her arms, “I’m not talking to you, Jess…but no…I didn’t.  I think someone should have the common decency to tell my father he knocked you up and I have a half-brother toddling around…and it shouldn’t have to be me.”

“Lil…I-“

“I said,” she repeated harshly, scolding her friend, “that I’m not talking to you.  YOU FUCKED MY DAD, JESS!”

Jess bit her lip, and she looked like she was going to cry, “d-did you tell him about Evan?”

“Sam…tell Jess I didn’t tell that whore about my little brother…but I’m going to if she doesn’t tell him soon…because my dad deserves to know.”

“Ransom and I just got back together last week, Lil-“

“YOU’RE STILL FUCKING HIM?”

Avery and Sam put aside their issues and blocked the livid Lily from attacking Jess.  Jenna pushed her behind herself, “you two need to talk through your issues…not beat the shit out of each other.”

“She’s been fucking my dad si-“

“I love him.”

Lily froze, her brow furrowing, “you what?”

“I-I’m in love with him…I always have been,” she admitted painfully, “I tried to push my feelings away when we met…but it just happened, Lily…the little glances…the secretive touches…I-“

“All this time, Jess,” she huffed, her glare softening, “you’ve been having sex with my dad…and you were still acting like you were my best friend.  You were pretending to be my best friend so that my dad would stick his dick in you.”

“I wasn’t acting…you are my best friend, Lily…Ransom and I-“

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she grumbled, pushing herself away from Sam and Avery.  She went over to the mirror and looked at her through it, “either way…you have to tell my dad.  He doesn’t deserve to be lied to.”

“I’m not lying to him.”

“Do you know how bad my dad has always wanted a son?” she asked, crossing her arms, “he always talked to me when I was little, and we’d joke about finding me a mom, and her and him making me a little brother…he’s always wanted a boy to pass the Drysdale name onto.”

“W-well…that doesn’t have to be just a dream…you have a little brother, Lil…”

“You’re supposed to be my best friend though,” she sighed, glaring down at the sink, “you’re supposed to talk with me when my future step mom is being a raging bitch, or laughing about how my dad can’t pull off that stupid sweater.”

“I-I’m sorry,” she sighed, biting her lip, “b-but if it makes you feel better…I’m still here.  I’m still always going to be your friend…even if you hate me.”

“I just want to claw your eyes out,” she grumbled, shooting her best friend another glare, “Jesus, Jess, that’s my dad…”

“Imagine your best friend telling you she’s been blowing your dad…”

“I know my dad,” Lily cringed, “she’s been blowing him and letting him cum in her…hence the little brother.”

“I wisened up!” Jess said quickly, “I got on birth control before we got back together.  So-I mean…there’s not going to be any more little siblings any time soon when he cums in me.”

Lily cringed, her nose scrunching up, “stop talking about sex with my dad!”

“You brought it up!”

“Since we’re still on the subject,” Avery spoke up as she looked at Sam, “I’m definitely fucking your brother the first chance I get.”

“Go for it,” Sam laughed, “I’m still going to blow your dad…the fact that it’s in the open between us just makes me feel less guilty of it.”

“Gross.”

“I-I can try to help you get with Curtis,” Jess offered slowly, looking at Lily, “I mean…since we’re all in the light about our relationships…once you’re eighteen of course.  I’m not going to help my future stepdaughter go down the same path I went down.”

“What,” Lily scoffed, crossing her arms teasingly, “you don’t want grandchildren by the time you’re nineteen?”

She paled, “oh, god no.  And I think that your dad would kill me if he knew I helped you bag Curtis.”

“Oh my god, if your brother knocks me up, and you get with my dad…that’d make you like the kids aunt, and grandma,” Avery laughed, staring at Sam, “how weird is that?”

“You’re forgetting if your dad knocks me up and you get with my brother you’ll have both a younger sibling and a niece or nephew.”

“This is too backwoodsy for me,” Jenna laughed as she shook her head, “can we go back to pep rally now?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Lily sighed, walking past the girls.  She opened the bathroom door for her friends, and they all started walking out, only to see Professor Jalen had cornered Coach Tucker outside the auditorium.  It looked like they were discretely arguing, and she’d had her hand pressed firmly over his crotch, “well that little breakup didn’t last too long.”

“Jalen…you need to back off,” Lance growled at his ex-girlfriend.  She only took another step closer, her hand cupping his crotch, “Leanna…”

“Come on Lance…don’t pretend you don’t want this,” she cooed, her eyes giving him a sultry look as she massaged him through his pants, “I know you miss this.”

“I don’t.  Now please-“

“Coach Tucker!”

Lance frowned, the group of five girls having caught him and his ex in a compromising position.  But his frown disappeared when she started backing away. 

“You girls are supposed to be in the pep rally!”

“We had to go to the bathroom…were you looking for us?” Jenna asked.  Lance smiled, giving her a soft look. 

“Yeah!” He nodded, realizing that she was giving him an out.  He moved past Jalen and started towards the girl, “let’s get you girls back in there before the principal comes out and the lot of you get into real trouble, okay?”

Lance couldn’t stop thinking about her.  After he’d gotten the girls back to the pep rally, he stayed close by, a few rows back, and pretended to be paying attention.  But all he could think about was Jenna. 

Her doe eyes. 

Her soft looking thighs. 

And he thought back to before she started at the school, when Nick had him over to watch some game.  And he saw her doing that Tiktok dance. 

The way her hips swayed. 

Her heart shaped ass. 

And before he knew it, he was off in his own little world.  The blinds were drawn, and the door clicked shut.  His pants had been pushed over his straining erection and halfway down his thighs.  His hand worked eagerly up and down his shaft; his breathing ragged as he focused on the screen in front of himself.  The girls had been given a free period, and he was using it to his advantage.  He had excused himself to his office, needing to get rid of his growing problem before the girls noticed it. 

So, he’d been quick to pull out his personal laptop, and pulled up a saved link.  One that was of a very particular fetish.  A particular want. 

His eyes flickered up to the blinds which had been closed.  He peered between them, his gaze catching the one girl he’d been unable to stop thinking about since Nick’s confession. 

Lance’s lips parted as he watched her.  She was laughing with the girls.  Her booty shorts barely covering her juicy ass, while her breasts jiggled lightly with every movement. 

And he fantasized how she would feel, writhing beneath him. 

“Lance.”

Her nails would drag down his chest, cock bouncing limply with every thrust into her tight ass.  While he knew that there would be no full erection, or at least a harder to attain one because of all the estrogen running through her, his stomach would tighten seeing the precum leaking out of her swollen, angry head as his hand reached down to stroke her.

Lance groaned, keeping one hand gently on the blinds while the other sped up around his cock.  His hips stuttered as he came, his thick seed thrusting up into the air like a volcanic eruption.  He barely noticed the video’s climax as it ended and another one loaded. 

His hand fell away from the blinds and he reached for the Kleenex on the desk. 

The door slammed open. 

Jalen’s jaw dropped when she saw his cock in one hand, his cock in the other. 

“Make me your sissy bitch!”

Lance’s eyes widened as Jalen saw the video. 

“Shemale bitch takes it in the ass!”

Lance paled, “Leanna, I-“

“YOU FUCKING BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE YOU’RE A FAGGOT?”

Lance barely had time to put away his cock as the girls stopped what they were doing and started swarming the entrance at how Professor Jalen was screaming about how Lance was gay at the entrance to his office. 

“Leanna…please…stop.  I’m not gay-“

“YOU WERE WATCHING TRANNY PORN, LANCE!”

“Well would you look at that,” Sam said in a smug tone as she nudge Jenna, “you might just have a chance with Coach Tucker after all.”

Chapter 11

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

ahdflksjaklf;jsls ok buddies - I hate talking about 14x13: Lebanon, but it has relevancy in the “John Winchester is a villain and cannot and should not be redeemed” discourse as well as being a crucial piece of finale denialist lore so I Have Been Thinking About It Too Much.

As you may recall, the Occult Object of the Week - the pearl - in Lebanon is supposed to grant Dean’s “heart’s desire.” Dean and Sam are Very Sure this means expelling Michael (the Dean Winchester Must Be Saved installment of season 14) (honestly that premise always seemed a little slim to me, I was hoping for Dean’s heart’s desire to be Cas, on Dean’s car, naked, covered in bees). 

Instead they summon Dad of the Year, which at first feels infuriating.  However after discussion with my earworms, I Have Fixed It (and also turned it into a grenade to launch at 15x20.)

Finale denialists and John Winchester derogatorians ASSEMBLE! and let’s discuss after the cut.

I’ve written in depth about Dean’s struggles with the cycle of abuse, so I won’t go too far into it here, but if you want to revisit any of that meta this is a good place to begin.  This post hinges on the same theory - that Dean’s true freedom is established in his release from that cycle - that is the logical outcome of any hero’s journey for him, and where he would finally be able to accept happiness and love.  This logically would also make release from the cycle of abuse and the feelings of self-hatred Dean struggles with his “heart’s desire” for purposes of the pearl.  When it comes to emotions, we also know Dean doesn’t deal with them well.  He punches things instead.  So odds are, Dean hasn’t really worked through these feelings.  

Dean also mentions when John returns that “it was what [Dean] wanted since he was 4″ - when they lost Mary, right before John became obsessed with revenge.  Season 12 Mary canonically remembers John as a “good dad,” so we can draw a line from that to the abuse really starting shortly after her death.  This is also corroborated by Dean himself:

DEAN: You know when you died, it changed Dad. 

(A visual of the John Mary remembers) (just my excuse to put pictures of Matt Cohen on your dash) (I shouldn’t need an excuse) (Matt Cohen hi you are on Tumblr please don’t read any of this I’m embarrassed).

So what Dean has is pre-Mary’s-death John and post-Mary’s-death John, post-Mary’s-death John being the one whose abuse created Dean’s own damaged persona.  Dean thinks the fix is to stop things on the front end (he is ignoring any process-centered solution, he just wants it to never have happened, he is in denial that he has to work through this and just wants it to be erased, etc etc etc).  

***also keep in mind that going back in time to change things on the front end as a “fix it” is a storyline SPN repeats regularly***

***and it always ends up being impossible to do*** 

Ok so for Dean, his damage/anger/brutal nature/darkness is always linked to John, and this cycle “began” for Dean once their family was torn apart by Mary’s death.  So the fix is his “blood family” together.  That’s his heart’s desire in Lebanon because Dean hasn’t really worked through any of his emotions, and it’s his very Dean way of fixing it - “oh if my family gets put back together I will be put back together too.”

***speaking of quick fixes, I’d like to note that any case in SPN that is referred to as a “milk run”  inevitably becomes complicated and messy***

***continuing the thematics of there’s no such thing as a quick fix***

This is no different.  Stopping the cycle by simply erasing it from the narrative erases anything else that happened along the way during the journey.  It erases this Mary (who they know as a person by this point and not just the mom on a pedestal) 

and (most importantly) it erases this Cas (the episode specifically replaces Cas with one who Doesn’t Know Dean).

We Emphasize This Of Course In The Dialogue In Case You Missed It

DEAN Cas, you know us. ALTERNATE CAS I don’t know you.

***Simply erasing the origin of Dean’s trauma erases all of Dean’s growth.  It erases this family that Dean is so proud to tell John he has now. It erases everything he has already overcome despite how hard it was to achieve it.

So, John goes back.  In that way, the pearl does give Dean his heart’s desire - his realization that this is not about a quick fix, it is about the journey to the good, and all you gain and become along the way (kind of similar to “Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it" eh?).  it’s the process.  It’s every moment along the way.  It’s the people who help him get there.

And then he starts the healing journey by taking control of his own life, by owning his feelings instead of displacing the blame, by recognizing he is NOT guided solely by the actions of his father and this cycle:

DEAN

And for the longest time, I blamed Dad. I mean, hell, I blamed Mom, too, you know? I was angry. But say we could send Dad back knowing everything. Why stop there? Why not send him even further back and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world? But here’s the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Well, maybe. But I gotta be honest – I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is.

And the episode fucking ends with Cas, the Cas Who Knows Them coming into the bunker and asking them what happened, calling each of them by name just to emphasize again That He Knows Them, because Cas knowing Dean, and Cas being Dean’s family is the cornerstone of what Dean’s heart desires.

[CAS walks in from the door at the top of the stairs. SAM, DEAN and MARY walk out from the library to see him.]

CAS Mary, Sam, Dean. What happened?

So yeah, it took 14 damn seasons but Lebanon is where Dean realizes he can be defined by more than the acts of his father.  (That’s why it’s so terrifying for Dean when Chuck snatches back any control he gained in Season 15.  Because for Dean, Chuck is just John Winchester Controls My Every Action all over again, except he’s God which makes it even worse.) 

That’s also why the final blow to Chuck is not Dean killing him. 

The last stage in the journey that begins here with Dean’s “I’m good with who I am” - [I’m still bad and dark and damaged but I’m good with it]

is Dean’s “that’s not who I am.” [the most caring man on Earth; the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know]

Thats equally why 15x18 is so brilliant, 15x19 is at least acceptable, and 15x20 simply does. not. work.

Dean Winchester’s perfect heaven cannot possibly center on the blood family.  It does not have John Winchester and Mary, husband and wife, who took away his own free will.  It is THIS FAMILY.  The found family.  Cas and Jack and Sam and the Mary that was resurrected.  Dean’s entire character arc supports this journey, and to have it culminate in something that is so established in the season prior to this one as something Dean knows he no longer wants is maddening.

I’m even more mad now because I just remembered that the most prominent picture above Dying Sam’s bed was the blood family portrait from this episode; almost like they wanted us to remember this particular stupid lesson.  This show is so stupid when it could have been so so so very good.

***I want to say thanks again to all of you who read my spiraling if you got this far.  It’s therapeutic for me to do it, but it makes it all the better that people actually read it.  Seeing you in my notes MAKES my entire day****

[mellow-em]

Bittersweet Temptations

CHAPTER 2

[special dt @bluewingedangel <3]

Your neighbors, Nathan and Elena, have been friends with your parents for years. Whether it’d be family gatherings or vacations, they were around; they were family. But when you return home from your final years of college, what will happen when you find that it isn't just them living in the house next door anymore?

_____________________________________

The afternoon sun brought in a relaxing mixture of natural light from the windows, but I wasn’t even remotely focused on it.

My right leg was bouncing hastily under the kitchen table while I prodded my salad with a fork. I tossed a particularly small carrot around in the bowl, swirling it around the sea of other vegetables.

“Are you gonna eat that or play around with it sweetie?” The sound of my mothers voice raced right through one ear and out the other one.

I only sighed in response, and leaned the side of my head on my hand, not bothering to look up at either of my parents that sat across from me.

They urged me to consistently have family meals with them today, in an attempt to dine on the experiences I had away at college. If they’d asked me to do this at any other time, I wouldn’t mind.

But my head was clouded by something else; or should I say by someone else.

Last night refused to escape my line of thinking. Even after it all went down, I went back to bed to try and fall back asleep, but it was absolutely no use.

The cunning quirk of his lips as he smirked back at me was an image that glued itself to the front of my brain. I reeled around in bed until sunrise, unable to silence my thoughts regardless of any persistence. So as of now, I was beyond exhausted.

“y/n? Are you alright?”

I jump faintly in my chair, with my fathers words pulling me away from my cogitation of the man from the pool, “I’m um.. I’m fine, sorry.”

I gave them a toothless smile as reassurance, but by the exchange of looks they both gave each other, they didn’t seem too convinced.

I shifted uncomfortably, and stabbed the carrot I was messing with. I slowly bring it towards my mouth, finally having the compulsion to take a bite.

Until the man’s wink decided to project in front of me, as if I was experiencing the whole ordeal all over again.

I abruptly dropped the fork into the bowl, resulting in a reverberating clash that not only startled my parents, but it startled me back into reality again.

“Jesus y/n, what’s gotten into you?”

I’m asking that same question, mom.

“Nothing, I uh- think I’m just tired,” the excuse flew out of my mouth in a panic, “I’m just.. I’m gonna go shower for the party later.”

I hurriedly sprung from my seat, and scurried up the stairs to the bathroom.

“Well that was smooth, dumbass,” I muttered out in the open, while slamming the door behind me.  

That son of a bitch is driving me crazy, and I haven’t even had a single conversation with him.

I take a few steps into the bathroom, placing both of my hands on opposite sides of the sink, leaning over with my body weight. With my head bowed down to the direction of my feet, I suspired deeply.

This was stupid. The brief interaction was embarrassing, yes, but with how I reacted today during lunch, especially when the party was happening later on today..

I just needed to stop thinking about what happened last night.

Act like it didn’t happen.

It didn’t happen.

____________

Turmoil carried on in the form of muffled conversations, and distinct bass from the speakers on the lower levels of the house. Even being upstairs in my room, the walls weren’t thick enough to block the noise that derived from the party.

Of course, my dad’s annual excuse backfired, and instead of the party being fairly small, it was as big as the rest of the parties we've had in the past. Although I really shouldn’t be surprised, knowing this really has carried on for 10 years at most.

As of now, I could only assume that the booze was already out for everyone, and by the end of the night, I could guarantee that almost half the people here will be drunk. It reassured me though, especially when I’ll probably end up being one of those people.

I could use a little alcohol in my system; to let myself go a little bit.

While fixing the straps of my white sundress, I looked at myself in the mirror, making sure any scraps of exhaustion were not visible on my features. Despite longing for a few hours of rest, I knew for a fact that I wasn’t going to get much yet again.

With satisfaction, I back away from my vanity, and start for the door that barricaded me from the chaos.

The exchanges of laughter became much more pronounced as I slowly opened the door, and traveled down the hall. My feet carried me towards the stairs, shaking from the rumble of the speakers seeping through the walls and floors.

It was a blessing that the noise didn’t affect our neighbors enough for them to make complaints; but that was mostly because they were all here.

With each step down the flight, more of the party overtook my vision. Guests were dispersed amongst every room as far as I could see, gathering around each other in hopes of starting conversation over the music. It had been fairly crowded to say the least.

Immediately after I make it to the ground floor, I’m bombarded by my mother.

“Hey honey, Nathan and Elena are outside if you want to say hello to them!” her slightly raising her voice didn't really help much, with us being right next to the speakers. But I nodded letting her know I understood.

Turning away from her, I then faced the crowd of people in front of me. I start to weave my way through, making slight pauses along the way to thank them for coming. Most of the people around me had a slight stench of beer already, making me scrunch my nose; that smell is definitely going to linger afterwards.

Eventually making it to the door, I slide it open and step out, letting the freshness of the outside air fill my senses. I quickly noticed the difference between the outdoors and the impeded aura from inside the house. It felt like I was finally able to breathe.

After shutting the sliding door behind me, I strolled away towards the yard.

I made sure to make a slight detour to the cooler to grab myself a beer though, rashly cracking it open as soon as I got my hands on one. I take a swig while observing the guests around me.

As soon as I saw a familiar head of blonde hair a few yards away, I could feel myself smile widely. I hadn’t seen Nate or Elena in four years, and being back home now is making me realize how much I missed them.

The both of them had moved into the neighborhood about a year after my family, and that was over 15 years ago. Ever since then, they hit it off more than you could imagine.

They had all gotten so close to one another, that they’d have annual dinners together, game nights and tag along on all of our family trips. They would even bring in their ideal vacation spots up to us, which evolved into us traveling to entirely different countries most of the time.

While Elena and my mom went to any beach they could find, and my dad found the bar, Nathan really wanted to drag me along to the historical landmarks and teach me about everything he knew. It made our relationship blossom, and now I considered him my second father.

Plus, because of him I began to develop an endless love for history.

I liked it so much that I made the decision to go to college for it. Nathan’s reaction when I told him before I left was something for the cover of a photo album, and I just knew already that a million questions were going to arise when I got to them.

I stepped down from the deck, and walked towards them with my lips still curled in a smile.

As I made it closer to them though, my gaze became hazy. With my brows contorting, my confused demeanor became more visible with every footstep I made closer to Nate and Elena.

There was another man wrapped into their conversation. He was taller than the other two, especially Elena. I noticed his hair slicked back ruggedly, from above the others’ heads. Though, I still couldn’t get a proper look at his face yet.

I turned my direction slightly to discreetly see who my neighbors were conversing with. My curious nature was overriding my body.

I should have just listened to that universally cliche phrase.

Curiosity did kill the fucking cat, and I wish it would just kill me now.

From here, I had a clear view of his face. He stood there listening to Nate’s banter, with a cigarette wedged between his lips.

The lips I had been staring at the night before, along with the rest of him.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

By this point I would’ve  been repeating my annual habit of staring in place. But  fortunately, I turned on my heal sharply to try and escape.  

“Oh my god y/n?” My breath hitched while Elena's voice rang out towards me.

Well great.

I held that particular breath in as I turned my body once more to face her. My warm smile returned to my face, but a layer of embarrassment and panic riddled beneath the surface.

“Elena, it’s so good to see you,” I went over and wrapped my arms around her carefully, keeping her baby bump in mind, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she returned the hug, leaning close to my ear, mumbling, “especially when I’ve had to deal with him all alone. I swear sometimes I really question whether the pregnancy hormones are hitting me or him harder.”

I look over at Nate for a quick second, stifling a laugh while I let go of Elena. The two of us continued laughing faintly, certainly gaining the attention of Nate.

“What are you two laughing about? What’d I do this time?” Nate looked genuinely perplexed, which made it funnier.

“Oh nothing, Nate,” Elena and I looked at each other, smirking as she spoke.

Even with Elena and I’s pleasant interaction, that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach just wouldn’t quit. I just knew he was watching my every move.

Especially, when in the corner of my eye, I watched his travel with me as I went to give Nate his hug.

“It’s good to have you back, Crash.”

Hearing the nickname took me away from my thoughts on the man behind me for a moment, and made my smile lift. 

“It’s been too long, Aku.”

We stayed this way for a few more seconds, until I feel him pat my back. I let my arms fall away from him, and return to my spot in front of them.

I then feel my head slowly turn over to the unknown one of the three; well to me he was unknown. 

“So who’s this?” I cross my arms in front of me, anticipating an answer from one of them.

But silence continued to radiate around us. 

They all stood there, exchanging looks with one another, making me raise one of my brows. While awaiting a response I decided to take a long sip of my beer, feeling the cold liquid slide down my throat. 

That is, before Nate finally spoke up, “Y/n, this is Sam,” he paused, and I could see the hesitation written all over him, “Sam Drake.”

I almost choked on my beer as soon as I heard the last name. I thought for a solid minute that my eyes were going to fall out of their sockets. 

“Is this your-” I pointed between the both of them.

“He’s my older brother.” Nate finishes my sentence, as he scratched at the back of his neck. 

My face fell even more if it was even possible.

Wait.

Nate was in his early forties to begin with, so that would make Sam…

I looked at Sam’s face intensely again, specifically at the wrinkles that were tainted across his face. Now that my brain was functioning properly, unlike last night, I noticed how many there really were. 

Great. Not only was I checking out Nathan’s BROTHER, but the man that was more than twice my age.

Fuck.

[sunaswife]

Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.

🔪: <3 thanks for all the support so far

Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload

Previously Up Next Masterlist

Chapter Thirteen

“Kuroo-San I’m very flattered but in reality I’m seeing someone.” You chuckled awkwardly as you both walked to the lounge after today’s game. “Really?! Since when! About a month ago during the black Jackals game you just said you were a single mom!” He exclaimed. “Well..in reality..I’m trying to make amends with the father of my children. We were both dumb and immature but now since we’re older, we can have a decent conversation. And I still have feelings for him in a way and he’s already confessed..so...” you scratched the back on your head. “Have you accepted his confession..?” He asked. “Well..I mean I kind of changed the subject..” you replied awkwardly. “Poor guy..” he put his hand on his chest as if he felt the pain. “Well it’s not right to pressure someone into going on a date with them so I’m sorry. I was out of line. And I hope everything goes well between you and Rintarou.” He said with a soft smile. He patted your head and walked away down the other hall, you just stood there dumbfounded. How does he know Rin is the dad..?

You haven’t checked social media or sports news so you’re not sure if people already know. You made you way into the lounge and opened your small locker. You took out your purse and walked to your car, you tried walking as fast as possible to avoid talking to people and when you were in the comfort of your car you took out your phone.

Your eyes widened at the amount of phone calls and messages Rin sent. You didn’t even have a chance to read the messages since you decided to call back Rin and wonder what is going on. “It’s about time you answer.” He immediately gritted, he obviously sounded pissed. “Excuse me?” You immediately said with such confusion.

Does he seriously think he can get away with talking to you like that?

“I said it’s about time you fucking answered. Why weren’t you answering my calls or messages?” He asked. “I was obviously working.” You said in a duh tone. “Is something wrong?” You asked. “YES something is wrong! My son almost died and I didn’t know what to do!”

Your heart dropped. He almost...died..? “W-wait—“ you shook your head. “What do you mean he almost died?” You asked. “He had an allergy attack and I had to use an epipen. I didn’t know what to do at the hospital. I rarely had any information. You never told me if the kids had insurance or anything.” “Is Rini okay?” You immediately asked. “Yes he’s fine. But you didn—“

“I’m on my way. For the next eight hours, think before you speak, okay? Don’t say anything you’ll regret.” You warned. “Whatever.” He muttered and hung up. Immediately your heart clenched and you threw your phone at the passenger seat. You rubbed your face and leaned forward and gripped the steering wheel.

“What the fuck.” You sighed. Throughout the drive back to Hyogo your hands began shaking thinking about your kids and Rin. The kids went through something traumatic, and you weren’t there to help them or to protect them. What kind of mother are you? You wanted to slap yourself so hard, jump off a cliff. Receive some sort of punishment for being such a stupid mother and trusting Rin with your children.

After a few hours, your makeup needed a touch up, your hair was a mess for running your hands through your hair hoping your son is okay. Your eyes felt droopy. You’ve only slept a good six hours between drives and it’s way past midnight. The sun began to rise and you finally passed the billboard welcoming you to the hyogo prefecture. You went to the hospital Rin said they were at and you quickly parked and made your way inside.

The poor lady in the office seemed startled at your appearance, your clothes were wrinkled, and your shirt was untucked and unbuttoned from the top, you had bags under your eyes, you were a whole mess. When she gave the room number you slipped off your heels and began jogging to your location. The door was opened so you peeked in and saw your daughter playing with her fox plush on the uncomfortable couch chair.

It was like she sensed you so she looked up and you made eye contact with your little girl. Her eyes immediately watered and she hopped off the chair crying. “Mommy!” She sobbed and you immediately bent down to pick her up. You held her close and her grip tightened around your shoulders. “Rini doesn’t feel good..” she mumbled in your ear. “I know baby, I know.” You answered and dropped your heels by the entrance.

You made you way inside and saw Rin hunched over on the bed sleeping. He was holding Rini’s hand who was also asleep. He looked alright and you sighed in relief. “Have you slept, Akira?” You asked and she nodded. “I slept with Rini, but grandma wanted me to go back home with her. But Rini needed me. He’s my twin.” She wiped her eyes and slightly pulled away. You neared the other side of the bed and pulled the lounge chair closer so you can sit. Akira was on your left thigh with her head still on your shoulder. You looked at Rini sleeping and you brushed some hair out of his face. He slowly opened his eyes and he smiled lazily, “I missed you momma..” he mumbled. “I missed you too. I came as fast as I could.” You assured. “I was so scared.” He admitted. “I know..and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.” Your eyes began to water. “Don’t cry mommy.... then I’ll cry..” Rini held your hand with his free hand.

Your wiped under your eyes with the sleeve of your blazer to stop the tears from falling and you smiled again. “Okay I won’t cry.” You said and released a breath. “Can you sing me a song?” Akira asked in your neck, “Yeah I want a song too, please.” Rini pouted and you nodded. They had a favorite song from a certain show that they enjoyed the most. You began to sing softly and Rini squeezed your hand and Akira began to fall asleep again.

I always thought I might be bad

Now I'm sure that it's true

'Cause I think you're so good

And I'm nothing like you

Look at you go

I just adore you

I wish that I knew

What makes you think I'm so special

You saw as Rini’s eyes began to close so he could fall back to sleep, you heard snoring right in your ear and realized Akira knocked out as well. “You have a beautiful voice.” Rin said softly as he rested his head on the side of his arm. “Sorry that I woke you up.” You quickly apologized. “No it’s fine..” he yawned and slowly sat up. He winced slightly, “Damn I need to see a chiropractor.” He muttered and you released a small chuckle. “Me too.” You said.

“So is Rini okay? What happened?” You asked and he sighed and looked into your eyes. “My mom got some burgers from a restaurant where peanut oil is used. She didn’t know Rini was allergic and I didn’t check the bag.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” You raised your voice and his eyes widened. “Your mom almost killed our son and you blame me for leaving you without any information?” You asked and he looked down guilty. “She didn’t kn—“

“Of course she doesn’t know because all day she was acting like a conceited bitch instead of being a grandmother to her grandkids. She even called me a whore—“

“No she didn’t.” He immediately interrupted. “She didn’t because you stopped her. But that’s what she thinks right? I model for Hana’s company to support her and to build up my self esteem and now I’m a whore? And you had the audacity to talk to me so rudely when I didn’t do anything. If you’re going to be treating me like that then there’s the fucking door. You understand? Never again will I be disrespected by a man.” You said and he had no words.

“You make it seem like I did it on purpose. I was sleep deprived and scared. I felt like I was going to throw up.” Rin squinted his narrow eyes.

“Do you have any idea what I felt when I got a call eight hours away that my son almost died? Imagine how I feel when he calls out to me and I’m not there. I feel like I failed them as a mom, my chest hurts and I’ve always been there. Always. And now I leave them in your hands and something happens and I can’t get there soon? I almost had a panic attack on the drive!” You exclaimed and he stayed silent. He didn’t want to continue fighting. He’s sure the kids are awake and listening to everything.

“I’m sorry.” He said and looked at his hands. He felt defeated and disappointed. You shouldn’t be so hard on him, it’s been less than a month since he took on this role. “Hey look at me.” You called softly, he looked up and you made eye contact once more. “I’m sorry for going off on you like this, I’m just as upset and afraid as you are and I’m sure you haven’t slept much.”

“I could say the same for you, you look like shit.” He cracked a tiny smile and you rolled your eyes with a giggle. “So did your mom eventually decide to be a grandma or she still hates me so she’s not getting close?” You asked. “She went back home to bring some clothes and then to get us some breakfast. I sent her a screenshot of my notes.” He said and you nodded. You obviously still felt uneasy with her, but they deserve a grandma and if she’s being civil you have no reason to take them away from her.

There was a knock at the door and you and Rin immediately turned your heads. “Oh you must be mom..” the doctor said. “Yeah I’m mom.” You said. She explained that Rini stayed longer than usual because he is a child. After a severe allergic reaction there can be aftershocks hours after the person receives treatment and that can lead to a seizure. She praised Rin for quick thinking and following proper steps to insure his child’s safety.

When the doctor left, Rin’s mom waltzes in and she freezes when she sees you. You take a deep breath and release and decide that it’s best to keep quiet. You wouldn’t want a clique animosity between you and your maybe future mother in law.

“I brought Rini some spare clothes.” She said as she opened Rin’s old gym bag. “He doesn’t own that jacket.” You pointed out. Her face flushed slightly, “I know..but this was Rintarou’s favorite jacket when he was his age..I thought it would be nice to wear. I have a lot of Rin’s old baby and child clothes.” She admitted softly, almost scared that you would snap any minute. And you would, so she was wise to walk on eggshells.

“Okay that’s fine.” You gave in. You helped Rini get dressed while Rin was talking to the doctor and getting ready to check out. You walked barefoot down the hall with your pink heels in your right hand, while Akira held your left hand. Rini was holding hands with Suna and Rin’s mom was holding their stuffed animals. She trailed behind you four and saw how you and Rin swung akira with you arms, her little giggles filled the hall releasing serotonin to the patients and nurses nearby.

“Momma aren’t you gonna put your shoes on?” Rini asked, “My feet hurt and I don’t feel like falling.” “But it’s hot outside, you can burn your feet.” Rin spoke up, “I think I’ll be fine.” You assured. He rolled his eyes and let go of the kids. You were about to step on the asphalt of the parking lot after checking both sides and all of a sudden you’re being knocked back from your legs and carried bridal style. “RINTAROU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT.”

“Nah.”

The kids giggled at their parents funny behavior, you kicked the air and squirmed but his grip tightened. “Do you really wanna get down?” He asked and you said yes. He pretended to drop you and you gripped onto his shirt for dear life and he started laughing. “I swear to God I am going to kick you where the sun doesn’t shine.” You muttered. He finally put you down but you were so distracted you were already at your car.

Karin took the kids to her car since the car seats are in there, so now it’s just you and Rin. “You give me a headache.” You told him. “But you love this headache—“ both your eyes widened and he stopped, “—sorry.” He immediately apologized.

You turned away to yawn and you muttered an it’s okay. He opened the car door for you just like old times, much to your dismay and he closed it when you entered. You put on your seatbelt and he fixed the seat and complained at how tiny you were. He was expecting you to fight back and bicker but you were already asleep.

He leaned forward and fixed your head so you wouldn’t hurt your neck. He started the car and began driving back home. He saw the two empty cups of coffee and some energy bar wrappers on the floor. The phone wasn’t playing any music but the volume was up to 20. You must have been so tired driving all last night and the night before for nine straight hours. No wonder you blasted music to keep you up and drank coffee.

He soon made it home and tried waking you up, but you didn’t budge. Not even shaking you work. You were a muttering unconscious mess when he helped you out and carried you bridal style once again. His mom let him in and he told Akira to unroll the futon in the living room since he couldn’t take you upstairs. He successfully placed you down and helped take of your blazer, he thanked god you were wearing an undershirt thanks to akira checking (no somnophilia shit here atm) and he helped unbutton your dress shirt so you wouldn’t feel hot. He put a light blanket over you. “Can’t believe I have to get you ready for bed like a child.” He muttered with a shake of his head. “Silence bottom, it’s mimi’s time.” You said in your sleep.

The kids ate their breakfast in the car as well as Karin. They were already awake and playing with Chewy outside again. “Mom.” He called, “Yes?” She asked from the kitchen. “Can I borrow your makeup wipes?” He asked. She smiled softly, looking out the window to check on the kids. “Yeah go ahead, they’re in the bathroom.”

Rin came back with the wipes and began wiping the makeup off your face. He didn’t want to press too hard to hurt you. But damn, this makeup was hard to take off. Finally you slept comfortably without makeup, without any interruptions. “Sweet dreams, love.” He smiled and moved the hair away from your face.

He stood up and grabbed the bag with all the kids school stuff and sat in the picnic table outside. “Alright you rascals time for school!” He yelled and the kids yelled an okay and went to join their dad.

“Hey dad..” Rini said. “What’s up?” Rin looked at his son, “I love you a lot. To infinity and beyond. Mama says that’s called unconditional love.” He said and Rin smiled with a nod. “Exactly, and I love you two unconditionally as well.” He said and Akira peered up from her work sheet. “Do you love mom unconditionally?” She asked Rintarou.

“Yeah. Yeah I do.”

Fun facts:

Someone asked me to do fun facts and if I had any for future chapters so here I go

The song YN sang is love like you from Steven universe but this is my fav version.

‘Mimi’s’ means sleeping time, Akira didn’t know how to say sleeping when she was a toddler so she would say Mimi’s cuz uncle Oikawa would say “es tiempo de dormir.” Which means ‘it’s time to sleep’. So MIMIS is taken for the ‘mir’ in dormir. (Sorry that was a long explanation) (if you live in a Mexican household then u might usually hear this)

YN drives a Black Honda CR-V (nice mom van) ☺️ while Rin has a White Nissan GT-R but he’s thinking of trading it in for a four door sports car to take the kids and yn along

Rin still has his old black mustang in a garage rental back in Tokyo where he would drive with YN everywhere. He wants to fix it up and gift it to one of his kids when they’re older 🥺

Idk why I’m talking about cars

Rin was a blushing mess when he was getting yn ready for bed and his heart stopped when she snuggled into him

After he admitted he loved YN unconditionally, Akira called him a simp

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @atsumusdomain @ohrintarou @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar

[alirhi]

okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

[synmorite]

War and Peace

Summary: You just wanted to be there for Dean. But sometimes it isn’t meant to be.

Word Count: 1549

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Angst, language, show level violence, character deaths, sacrifice, TW: Suicide

A/N: There will be a part 2 to this. It will be posted once I have written it.

~~~

It was always a fight. You knew that deep down, Dean wanted it all. He wanted a normal life with a wife and kids and the whole “apple pie life” as he called it. He just didn’t think he deserved it.

You blamed John for that. You’d only met him a few times when he came to drag Dean back with him. Dean would have a particularly bad hunt where he lost people to whatever ghost or creature that he was ganking that week. He’d show up at your door, eyes dry and face hard, but you could feel the inner hurricane inside him. The guilt and fear boiling inside. Without any words spoken, you’d hold your door open and let him in. You’d both go to your room and lay down on your bed, Dean’s head resting on your chest, listening to your heartbeat, and your fingers running through his short hair. He’d drift off to a nightmare free sleep in your embrace. Then John would show up within a day or two and destroy your peace.

He’d drag Dean from your house, berating him for going to you instead of finding another hunt and saving people. He’d told Dean that any lives lost from when he could have gotten there and when he actually got there were on Dean. You’d tried to stand up to John for Dean’s sake once, but Dean asked you to stop. You held your tongue after that only because he asked.

After a difficult hunt in New Orleans with a voodoo priestess, Dean showed up at your door like usual. You pulled him in, tended to his cuts and bruises, and then brought him to bed. He spent the next week with you before you both realized that John had never taken this long to show up before.

“Maybe he’s finally letting you go.” You suggested, but you both knew that wasn’t the case. John had spent the last 22 years hunting for the thing that killed his wife. He’d trained his young sons to be soldiers in his war. He’d already lost Sam to college, he wasn’t going to let Dean go without a fight.

Dean tried calling his father, but he kept getting voicemail. He called around to other hunters, but no one had seen or spoken to John.

“I have to leave. I have to find him.” Dean said, green eyes filled with worry.

“You shouldn’t go alone, Dean. I know I haven’t hunted in a while, but let me come with you.”

“No, Y/N. You haven’t hunted in 10 years since your mom died. You promised her that you wouldn’t hunt. I won’t help you to break that promise.” He sucked in a small breath. “I’m gonna go get Sammy. He’ll help me.”

You tried to hide your doubt at that, but Dean looked away.

“I’ll call you as soon as I can, Y/N. Be safe.”

“I will, Dean. I’ll keep calling around to see if anyone’s seen him.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He smiled at you before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours softly. Then he turned and left.

~~~

He called you when he and Sam reached Jericho where John was supposed to be. He called you when they ganked the woman in white and he was bringing Sam back to Stanford. He called you when Sam’s girlfriend was burned to death on the ceiling just like their mother had been. Slowly though, the calls stopped. He was on the road with Sam, trying to find his father. He didn’t have time to stop by your house anymore. While you were not an active hunter, you were still in the network. Others called you and gave you updates on what the boys were doing. But no news on John for months. Then you heard that John and the boys had faced a demon in Chicago. Then they split up again. A couple of months later you heard that Pastor Jim was killed. You tried to call Dean, but he didn’t answer your call. Pastor Jim had taken care of you and the boys sometimes when your parents went hunting. He took you in when your mother was killed. You knew Dean had to be hurting as much as you were. It only hurt more that he didn’t answer. Another call from another hunter, and you were told of Caleb’s death.

You had just hung up the phone, when there was a knock on your door. You opened the door slowly and frowned at the young blonde woman on your porch.

“Can I help you?” You asked politely.

The woman grinned brightly. “Depends. Are you Y/N Y/L/N?”

“Yes. May I ask who you are?”

“My name’s Meg. Friend of John’s.” Then her eyes flicked into inky pools of blackness.

Demon.

You had never encountered one yourself, but you knew that’s what black eyes meant. You slammed the door and ran for your closet where you kept a shotgun loaded with rock salt. You didn’t get far before your door blew inward and a large chunk knocked you to the ground. Your head slammed into the floor and you dazedly tried to get back up to your feet. You heard Meg’s boots clicking on your hardwood floors as she approached you.

“Now, now. No need to fight or run. You’ll only make it harder on yourself.” Meg taunted.

You felt a hand in your hair as Meg gripped it and slammed your head into the floor. The world went black.

~~~

When you woke up, your hands were tied behind your back and you were laying in complete darkness. You could feel a rumble under you that meant you were in a car and the darkness meant you were in a trunk. You twisted your wrists around to try and escape from the ropes, but they were too tight. After a while, the car slowed to a stop, and you heard two car doors open and shut. The trunk popped open and you blinked into the sudden light. A dark haired man loomed over you before grabbing your arm and yanking you from the trunk. You stumbled out and fell to the ground as your legs failed to hold you upright.

“C’mon, you stupid bitch.” He growled at you. He dragged you into a decrepit warehouse. You could hear the female demon speaking to someone and heard a low voice answer her occasionally. The man yanked you along with him until you saw Meg standing with none other than John Winchester himself. John’s eyes widened briefly when he saw you and you saw hesitance in his stance before his eyes hardened and he looked back at Meg.

“What’s she doing here?” He asked gruffly.

“Gotta have some sort of insurance, don’t I, John?”

He didn’t relax. The male demon pushed you to your knees in front of him and held a blade to your throat.

“So I suggest you give us the gun.”

John’s eyes flicked back and forth between the two demons.

“NOW!!!” Meg shouted.

John handed a gun over to Meg who took it carefully.

“This is the Colt?” She asked. John just looked at her and she handed it to the male demon. “What do you think?” She asked him. He took it with his free hand, but kept the knife steady at your throat with the other. He turned the gun a little in his hand before cocking it. You tensed, expecting the shot before it happened. What you hadn’t expected was that it was Meg he shot.

She stood there stunned before exclaiming, “You shot me! I can’t believe you just shot me!”

The male demon tossed the gun to the side and said, “It’s a fake!”

Oh no.

You understood John’s hesitance at first now. He knew it was fake. And he knew that his actions would most likely result in your death now.

“You’re dead, John. Your boys are dead.” Meg said as she approached him menacingly.

“I never used the gun, how could I know it wouldn’t work?”

You had to give him credit. He was trying at least. His eyes flicked back to yours and you could see the guilt in them.

“I’m so not in the mood for this. I’ve just been shot!”

“Well then, I guess you’re lucky the gun wasn’t real.”

“That’s funny, John. We’re gonna strip the skin from your bones, but that was funny.”

You felt the knife press into your neck and met John’s eyes again.

“Don’t tell Dean what happened here, John.” You said and he nodded. “Now run!” You pushed your neck forward and along the knife. The demon was holding it so firmly in place that it didn’t budge as you slit your own throat on it. The demon dropped the knife in surprise and Meg turned to you at the sound.

“You stupid little bitch.” She growled.

You saw John turn and bolt out of the room. You fell to the ground as blood poured from your neck. Meg came over and kicked you in the stomach in anger. Through your fading eyes, you saw Meg and the male demon follow after John. You prayed that he was able to get away with your last breath.

Part 2- Time and Patience>>>

[alitaimagines]

“I’m human, can’t you see? I made, I made a mistake. please just look me in my face, tell me everything’s okay. cause I got it, I’ll never be like you.”

ENJI TODOROKI, TOSHINORI YAGI ☆ MY HERO ACADEMIA

 ☆ previous imagine: ♡ ☆ masterlist: ♡

“Enji, the baby is yours,” you whispered grabbing your now small bump, “and you’re walking away from it?” Enji scoffed, wiping his wet fingers that he was previously biting on. 

“you’re not a worthy wife. you’re nothing.”

your mouth dropped at the bluntness. the two of you weren’t official, not by far, but when you found out that you were holding his child, you thought that he was going to stick around. 

“so you’re leaving me with the child?” he nodded, “and you want nothing to do with me? what if he has your quirk? or your hair? it’s going to be very noticable that it’s your child.”

Enji shrugged, not bothering to reply to your warnings. your eyes pricked with tears, not knowing what you were going to do. you were going to keep the baby but the thought that Enji wanted no part in his life broke your heart. 

your sighed wavered as you walked away from the red haired boy. you were only eighteen. you didn’t know if you could deal with a child on your own. of course your family had already offered to help take care of the baby but the thought that you were going to be a single mother because of Enji’s selfish mindset made you want to turn around and kick him 

you looked down to your baby bump and rubbed it. 

“don’t ever think that you’re not loved. one day, we’ll find someone who is worth our time. someone who loves you as much as I do.”

U.A. had been nice enough to allow you to do homeschool to finish off your third year and have the credentials of graduating from such a luxury school. 

your baby had been born at the tail end of your third year so he was able to witness your graduation. your mother had made him a small graduation cap and gown as a surprise the day you were going to walk the stage. 

at first, you didn’t want to even bare to even step back onto U.A. grounds and the thought of it made you want to gag but when your sibling had told that Enji being there shouldn’t stop you from grabbing that diploma from the principal and calling yourself a U.A. graduate.

you made sure that you didn’t focus on Enji when his name was called. you drowned it out and payed attention to the sleeping baby in your arms. you were planning on walking across the stage with your son and made sure to show Enji that he was missing out on the best thing to ever happen to you. 

you lined up with the rest of the business department with your one month old child finally waking up from his nap. you knew he had to be fed soon but as soon as you heard your name be called, you positioned him so the camera could catch a glimpse of him. 

( your name ), graduating second in her class, and has three internships lined up at agencies in Tokyo, Osaka, and Hokkaido.” 

you waved the baby’s hand at the camera, gaining aww’s from the crowd as you grabbed the diploma from the principal and took the picture with the entire U.A. faculty. 

once the graduation ceremony was over and your family was finished taking photos with you, a few of your friends were generous enough to invite you out for a night in the town. your family more than willingly took the baby of your hands so you could enjoy at least tonight. 

as you were getting ready to leave the campus, you saw Enji staring at you with eyes that you were sure if they could kill, you would be dead where you stood. 

“you had the audacity to bring that child to graduation? are you stupid?” he asked a bit flustered, “why? you scared everyone would find out that Enji Todoroki has a baby that he doesn’t want to claim? cry me a river, Todoroki. I’m done trying to have you care for our child. to you, he’s a mistake but to me, he’s everything. next time you want to put your dick in someone, make sure to warn that poor son of a bitch.”

Enji stared at you in surprise. he would have never though you would ever raise your voice at him but the way you held onto his baby and walked away made him think that maybe he should’ve put more thought into his decision. 

he knew the baby was his. the small red hair poking out of his head just assured him that your son was a Todoroki. 

the night came when your friends beeped at you from the street. you kissed your baby goodnight as your mom reassured you that it was okay to enjoy your night out. the mom guilt was crawling up and your mom was able to see that a part of you didn’t want to leave your son but nevertheless, you kissed your son once more before grabbing your bag and leaving. 

all of your friends decided on a 18+ club for the night. you knew since none of you were old enough to drink, you would be getting home safe and all together. 

“do any of you want a soda? I’ll purchase the first person who raises their hand,” your friend Rei’s hand instantly shot up as she asked for a Bubly instead. 

you walked to the bar and ordered the sparkling water and soda as you went to the other side to wait for it. as you sat on the stool, you felt a weight next to you and looked at who sat down.

it was a boy, maybe only one or two years older than you. he had the blondest hair you had ever seen and blue eyes you could get lost in. he gave you a wide smile earning your shy one in return. 

“hey, I’m Toshinori,” he screamed through the music. you shook his hand in response, “I’m ( your name ), nice to meet you!” you yelled back. 

-

you woke up next to Toshi and smiled at his. ever since he became the symbol of peace and offered to move back to Japan to focus on his hero work here, the time you spent with him was more prevalent.

your son was now five. he had fiery red hair and developed a combination of your quirk and Enji’s. 

it took a while for you to trust another man after your situation with Enji but Toshi understood you completely. he was more than happy to take Enji’s place and become your sons new father. not only that but you were now carrying his brother. 

although you and Toshi weren’t married, he had gotten you pregnant and you didn’t necessarily hate the idea of making your son a brother. Toshi promised he would take at least two months off to make sure you and the baby were well taken care off while making sure your son didn’t feel too left out. 

when he found out his rival was your sons father, there’s a point a few times in the relationship that had you holding Toshi back from wanting to basically obliterate Enji into the ground.

the fact that Enji thought of you as scum made him gag and once you told him the comments he made about your son, he knew that if he ever came face to face with the fire hero, he would probably get arrested for assault

you struggled to get out of bed but knew you had to make a run to the store to get some food you had been craving since last night. 

as you made the trudge to your sons room, you noticed Toshi already in there, silently trying to wake him up. you knew that if neither of you did, he would be asleep till at least noon. 

your son stirred awake and hugged Toshi for the morning comfort as you made your way into the bathroom to get ready. your son had known of his situation with his dad and Toshi. he never really pressed you for more information but all he knew is that Toshi was his dad and his biological dad was no longer in the picture. 

“are you ready to go to the store?” Toshi asked as he placed a few small kisses on your bare shoulder after your shower. you hummed in response, “ ( your sons name ) is eating breakfast so we can stop for your coffee on the way to the store.” 

you gave Toshi a kiss before quickly finishing getting ready and waddling your way downstairs. your son and Toshi were talking amongst each other while Toshi swung the keys around his finger. 

“ready!” you exclaimed as your son hugged your shoulder, “lets make the trip quick. I don’t want people seeing you in public for a long time,” Toshi murmured in your ear as you rolled your eyes jokingly. 

since Toshi found out that you were pregnant, he trapped you inside of the house. he hated the media talking about him so when they spoke about you in a negative way, he was ready to fight anyone and everyone. Toshi even punched a slimy reporter who was saying comments about you and your son. 

the drive to the grocery store was filled with your son talking gibberish with you and Toshi. he had your personality because Enji was hardly talkative when you knew him. 

you three arrived to the store as Toshi and your son went in the opposite direction of you. you grabbed the shopping cart from the stack and made your way to the frozen food section. 

you had to get a weeks worth of dinner plans and a few snacks for yourself. you struggled to grab the green peas from the top of the shelf when you saw a hand reach for them and bring them down for you. 

you looked up to see the last person you expect. Enji was towering over you as shock was written all across of his face. the two of you stayed quiet, not knowing what to say or do. 

“mommy! mommy! look! dad bought me a new hero coloring book,” you heard your son exclaim. you eyes widen as he stood next to you as Toshi immediately recognized what was happening, “mommy? is everything okay?” your son asked.

“yeah, everything is okay,” you whispered as Enji and Toshi unknowingly sized up with each other, “hey, c’mon, we need to hit the vitamin aisle. ( your sons name ) needs his vitamins and I’m running out of pre-natals,” you mentioned.

Enji stared at you again, “you’re pregnant to him?” he asked as you nodded slowly, “of course she is. it’s a family trip,” Toshi emphasized the word family as he looked down to his son. 

Enji eye’s widened as he stared at his first born. he had the Todoroki red hair and couldn’t help but wonder if he had his quirk or yours. Enji was able to tell that his son was terrified of the situation. 

“come on, let’s go,” you whispered to both your son. you were nothing short of a petty bitch. you gave Toshi a kiss on the lips, making sure it was as dramatic as possible before retracting. your son started to gag dramatically as you made sure your lipstick stain stayed on Toshi’s face making him chuckle, knowing exactly what you were doing. 

Toshi and Enji stared at each other, not saying a word for what felt like a century. 

“are you taking care of her? does he have my quirk?” Enji muttered making Toshi laugh, “of course I am. I’m not you. I take care of what is mine,” Toshi retorted with a chuckle at the end, “but he does but he also has her quirk so it’s not like you’re anything too special. he uses ( your name )’s quirk more anyway.” 

Enji growled at the fact that Toshi was getting amusement at Enji’s misfortune. Tosh gave one final laugh before leaning into Enji’s ear. 

“looks like I won again.” 

ALITA 

[tanoraqui]

tanoraqui

Still thinking about an au in which for some reason WWX and the Wens are left to just live peacefully on the creepy death mountain - some detente wherein they don’t leave the mountain ever and in exchange no one tries to visit ever. Borders patrolled by corpses and sect disciples. So A-Yuan grows up raised kind of collectively but mostly by WWX and Wen Qing (the one most likely to tell WWX that he’s doing it wrong), and learns healing-focused spiritual cultivation AND demonic cultivation, and then at some point starts sneaking out to be the terrifying force of righteous kindness he was always going to be

tanoraqui

Righteous kindness but also, like, having picked up WWX’s cavalier confidence (or at least some of the ability to fake it) and Wen Qing’s general attitude of Do No Harm But Take No Shit

Like IMAGINE

tanoraqui

In this au, despite the strict border-by-mutual-agreement that’s the only reason somehow no ones tried to attack, LWJ sneaks in like one a year so he and WWX can make eyes at one another but not actually say anything ever, and Wen Qing and LXC are both EXHAUSTED bc both their dumb little brothers (WWX is a sibling by adoption now don’t @ me) mope for like a week after EVERY SINGLE TIME THIS HAPPENS, and it’s been /over ten years/.

tanoraqui

Meanwhile Jiang YanLi and JZX are FINE, and JYL somehow keeps up some sort of correspondence with WWX - or at least, he’s faithfully managed to send a birthday present for Jin Ling every single year, and every time, JYL makes her son write a thank-you note and bribes some series of people to get it smuggled back to Yiling

tanoraqui

...which means, honestly, that Jin Ling is probably wildly curious about his uncle the evil demonic cultivator kept trapped within the terrible ghost mountain by the forces of Good and Right, and WILL sneak out one day to try to visit. Optimally, obviously, at the same time Wen Yuan is sneaking out to see the non-mountain world

tanoraqui

The optimal plot is that Wen Yuan ropes Jin Ling into helping him set up WWX and LWJ, because he, too, is exasperated at this point, and Jin Ling ropes Wen Yuan into arranging like a parent trap reunion for the Jiang siblings, and obviously there are monsters and undead to complicate it all

tanoraqui

They kind of acquire Lan Jingyi somewhere, somehow. He’s having a blast

There is a 100% chance that the first Adult(TM) to find them is Wen Ning and they just kind of rope him into whatever the hell is going on at the time

...you know what, I think this is just a good au where JGY fucking died at some point

tanoraqui

Maybe someone threw him down the stairs again and he just broke his fucking neck. WWX is still vilified but between Jiang Cheng not really wanting to attack and Jiang (Jin?) Yanli being AGGRESSIVELY against it, and dragging JZX along with her, they’re left in peace.

tanoraqui

Oh man and Jin Ling has YOUNGER SIBLINGS in this...

Hey for u: Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing can accidentally happen while the Teens are trying to get everyone else to meet

Today at 8:42 AM

@professorsparklepants

I love this it's so goddamn wacky

tanoraqui

I just want teenager-based shenanigans ft. surprisingly competent teenagers and all the adults running around like chickens with their heads chopped off

professorsparklepants

Jingyi: why are you two more calm about this than the literal adults

Wen Yuan: have you met my dad?

tanoraqui

Also to be clear it is not at all hard to convince Wen Ning to join Team: Teenage Shenanigans, bc literally ANYONE in the Burial Mountain village would probably be down if you were like, “we’re engaged in a conspiracy to make Wei Wuxian fucking admit that he’s in love with that Lan guy who visits a couple times a year”

professorsparklepants

"This is my father, and this is his sugar daddy."

tanoraqui

I kinda wanna say he goes by “Wen Yuan” more often bc he’s 100% the baby of the entire remaining Wen clan there, but his adult name or w/e it’s called IS Wen Sizhui, because WWX asked LWJ if he had any suggestions and LWJ said this while maintaining eye contact

professorsparklepants

OH MY GOOOOOOD

tanoraqui

They meet LXC and he figures out what’s going on in like 4 minutes, despite the teens’ best attempts at obfuscation, and instead of calling anyone’s parents is like, “okay, I’m in”

professorsparklepants

#1 wingman...

tanoraqui

Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are definitely both traveling under false names, too? Wen Yuan obviously can’t admit to being a Wen and Jin Ling is making a privileged but slightly helicoptered teen’s rebellious bid for freedom

professorsparklepants

His dad is panicking at home and Yanli is like "boys need their freedom :)"

I saw a post forever ago about how Yanli would be the most hands off parent & Zixuan is an only child who would panic every time his kid fell down

tanoraqui

With a side order of “my mother is the only one who’ll say nice things about the Yiling Patriarch and she always looks sad when she does so I’m going to sneak into the Burial Mountain and either drag him out to see her or force my parents to come get me”

professorsparklepants

"I'm gonna beat up the Yiling Patriarch" "why" "he made my mom sad" "okay proceed"

tanoraqui

^ actual real conversation with WenYuan

professorsparklepants

A-Yuan then repeats the same thing to Wen Qing and she has the exact same answer, verbatim

tanoraqui

Side note: Wen Yuan has never been scared of the undead in his entire life, and probably this will lead to getting into severely life-threatening situations when he doesn’t have more backup than 2 other teenagers

professorsparklepants

Oh absolutely

professorsparklepants

He's so used to tuning out the sound of sentry corpses that one jumps on him and almost punches his lungs out

tanoraqui

Also what if he took WWX’s sword, so he looks like a proper normal cultivator - honestly, what if WWX gave him the sword when he turned 12, or whenever one customarily gives a child a sword in this world. He also has a flute stashed in his robe somewhere but he does know how to use both

tanoraqui

But also, while obviously it’s very important that this is the sword he inherited from his father, it’s never OCCURRED to him to, like, strongly associate it with WWX, in terms of “this would be a recognizable weapon”? Chenqing the flute, obviously, but WWX just left the sword on a shelf all the time

professorsparklepants

He's very good at fooling people into thinking he's a normal rogue cultivator until he busts out the flute

LOL YES

tanoraqui

So the first time someone looks at him and is like, “That is WWX’s sword” he achieves, like, “Who’s Morales? [NOT THAT DUMB]” levels of blank-brained

professorsparklepants

It like, doesn't even occur to him that this stick named whatever will be recognizable to people until it actually happens

"this is the Yiling Patriarch's sword!" "... I've never heard of him"

tanoraqui

“What sword?”

professorsparklepants

KDJAKSNJS

tanoraqui

“Oh, THIS sword? I...found it. In a stream.”

tanoraqui

Also...at some point...once the teens have admitted their identities to one another...and possibly gotten into a couple other increasingly public shenanigans...they run into a bunch of concerned people searching from the Jin or even Jiang sect - JC being there would be PERFECT - and Jin Ling is like, “aaahh, no, I don’t want to be dragged home... kidnap me.”

WY: what?

JL: pull out the flute, summon a couple corpses, shout that you’re the dread son of the Yiling Patriarch, and pretend to kidnap me

WY: ...yeah okay

AND THEN THEY DO THAT

professorsparklepants

The dumbass energy...... off the CHARTS

tanoraqui

They’re 15 and neither of them has ever faced consequences but in...actually not too different ways

They’re 15 and neither of them as ever faced consequences nor most of the real world

Oh my god is Lan Jingyi the most sensible person here

They’re going to DIE

professorsparklepants

JXHAKAJAKKQHSJA

JC and Yanli immediately see through this probably

"dumbass kid just doesn't want to go home. I'll break his legs."

tanoraqui

I think Yanli does but I have minimal faith in JC’s ability to think logically at any time

He’s still angry at WWX for leaving

professorsparklepants

Stomps to Yiling to demand his nephew back & wwx's like "lol, A-Yuan left two months ago"

Okay my shift is starting later

tanoraqui

/snort

Though, bold of you to assume that WWX isn’t also running around anxiously somewhere like “oh god, oh no, my son is missing; I must find him”

professorsparklepants

Sizhui is a responsible boy, I don't think he would leave without telling at least ONE person where he was going

tanoraqui

Ok but it was Wen Qing who thinks it’s good for WWX’s health to stop brooding and go run around like a headless chicken instead, optimally if he runs into his totally-not-a-boyfriend-Hahahaha-why-would-you-say-that

Alternately it was, like, Granny, which, ditto

No one on this mountain is going to stop WWX from going out to cause trouble and hopefully get laid, is my point

tanoraqui

Also, the cultivation world has been basically at peace for 13 years and the reason is that this is an ideal AU where JGY is dead and whenever trouble starts to stir politically, NHS and JYL meet eyes across the room and mentally Rock Paper Scissors over who has to manipulate everyone into calming the fuck down

Neither of them actually wants this job; they’re just good at it and recognize both those aspects in each other

professorsparklepants

LOLOLOL

That is.... so goddamn in character

tanoraqui

concept: JYL and NHS are friends and no one else understands it, or attributes it to JYL just being that nice, bc NHS still generally acts useless

professorsparklepants

Nhs actively wants to be useless and life is conspiring to make sure he can't

tanoraqui

a little less dramatically useless, but why ruin a good thing when you're having fun and it's useful

professorsparklepants

Lol

tanoraqui

but JYL fucking identified him as Actually Competent one time when he couldn't hide it, so now sometimes they get tea together and bitch about politics and stupid people

professorsparklepants

He's the only person who can correctly identify when she's talking shit about people, because it's VERY subtle and her brothers & husband are too busy thinking she hung the moon to notice

tanoraqui

JYL striding into Nie sect HQ (whatever it's called) and tossing her coat over a chair. "You would not BELIEVE what my brothers are doing now."

NHS: *probably knows, because he's found that the minor investment of effort in maintaining a very good spy network pays major dividends in helping him avoid greater work* *immediately sits up and pours her a cup of very expensive tea* Oh, girl, dish.

professorsparklepants

Question: are they also friends with lwj...

tanoraqui

yes but he's obviously not invited to hte political gossip sessions

professorsparklepants

I'm trying to imagine lwj making eye contact with them at some meeting his brother dragged him to and both of them struggling not to break into hysterics

tanoraqui

but they both know that he sneaks into Yiling to visit WWX a few times a year, and every single time, JYL sits him down within a couple weeks and aggressively debriefs him as to her brother's condition

professorsparklepants

I'm sure she tried to get him to take treats in

tanoraqui

for sure

it's hopeless, though, bc there's no really predicting WHEN he'll go? It's basically just "every 4-6 months when LWJ's resolve breaks"

professorsparklepants

Too bad she's not a stress quilter instead of a stress baker

tanoraqui

she gets him to go at an actual arranged time, bearing pork soup, like once, for WWX's 30th birthday or something

professorsparklepants

:)

tanoraqui

omg lit brain: LWJ of course is hte WORST for getting gossip, but JYL has pieced together a reasonable amount about the people her idiot baby brother (#2) is now living with. And she's mildly despairing as to idiot baby brother #1's ongoing refusal to get married and have an heir or three. So she, if not actively connives, then certainly siezes the first available opportunity to set Jiang Cheng up with Wen Qing

tanoraqui

basically, this au is PEAK romcom

tanoraqui

...also, for max happiness, i'd like to think that WWX made some strategic raids to rescue additional Wen refugees and bring them back, so there's a properly populated village and they didn't all just die

professorsparklepants

!!!

Good... Good thoughts

Good because 1. more people die and 2. The Yiling Patriarch will attack your village and steal your people away!

tanoraqui

(romcom being exclusively adults-focussed; the teens initiate it all but Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are both so delighted to have an Additional (But Cooler) Family Member that they comfortably cousinzone each other instantly)

professorsparklepants

*nice*

tanoraqui

...i feel like i keep characterizing Jin Ling as an only child, when really he ought to have a small horde of siblings

maybe they just...couldn't conceive more. shit happens. pregnancy is hard.

professorsparklepants

That happens sometimes