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zoeykallus · 2 years

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I don’t know if you like writing angst very often but I can’t get the idea out of my head- where the batch is involved with a Jedi but their chip activates. They survive but they definitely don’t get away unscathed. And maybe if you’re feeling reallly angsty they reunite after the chip removal.

(You’re super talented btw I love everything you write❤️❤️)

Aloha!

Well, it always depends a little on different factors sometimes, generally I'm not averse to writing angst. On some days I might not feel up for the task, I pick another ask to do first and then come back to the angsty stuff.

I do like this one, 'cause honestly, I asked myself "what if" in this scenario a couple of times. Thinking of how scary Wrecker was under the influence of the chip, this is definitely worth looking into.

Thanks for the input, and thanks for your sweet words!❤️❤️

The Bad Batch x Jedi!Reader - Order 66

Warnings: Angst/Hurt/Tension/Violence - Don't worry, you get a Happy End this time too!

______________

You thought you are safe, the chip your batcher has isn't functional. You are wrong. The headaches he’s been having, should have worried you more.... "Good soldiers follow orders"

______________

Hunter

Your heart races. There is no way to kill him, you don't want to. You have to be fast, or you might not have any other options left. Hunter already shot at you, you are limping, your leg hurts where his blaster hit you. Clenching your teeth, biting down against the pain, you limp from hiding spot to hiding spot. But you know, he can smell you, Hunter knows where you are. For the first time ever, you are scared of that man, really scared and infinitely sad. Pain, fear, confusion, desperation. All at once. It was hard to focus, to stay calm. It feels like you are on the run for hours already, but it's just a few minutes so far.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are! You know you can't hide from me, I can smell your fear"

You gulp, jump up, out of your hiding place above him and hit him with the grip of an axe you found, to knock him out.

Looking down on Hunter lying there, you feel so shaky and breathless.

"Sorry, hun, you didn't give me a choice", you whisper, softly kiss his forehead and leave.

There will be more clones coming your way soon, you have to leave him where he is. You don't want to, but you have to.

Months later:

"I thought I smelled your scent"

You freeze. Did you really hear that voice? Slowly you turn around, your hand is wandering to your lightsaber, but not drawing it yet.

It is him, Hunter. As he sees your hand going for your saber, he says softly, "Easy, Mesh'la, I'm not here to hurt you"

"Last time we met, you tried to kill me", you say quietly.

Hunter sighs, looking down for a moment, as he looks back up again you see how sad and ashamed he is about that fact.

"I didn't have any control. I tried, I was fully aware, but I couldn't stop what was happening. It felt like... I don't know how to describe it but, it felt like I was controlled by someone other than me"

He shrugs, looking a little helpless.

"Look", he says softly, "You didn't know I was here, I could have killed you already if that was still my goal"

You swallow, you can feel your eyes burn and watering.

"Are you my Hunter?"

He nods, saying, "Yes, Mesh'la, I am"

As you let yourself fall into his arms, you shake and softly sob at his chest, your fingers digging into his back. He was real, Hunter was back, your Hunter.

"I missed you", you whisper.

Hunter kisses your temple, hugging you closer and says, "I missed you too"

Echo

Him suddenly attacking you was a shock to say the least. He hit you pretty hard with his scomp link, had almost knocked you out. By now you've outrun him, at least you think so. Your head hurts, you feel shaky and somehow disconnected from reality. Echo is hunting you, his chip is activated somehow. That is real. Not a bad dream. Reality. It doesn't feel real, but it is. It's hard to come to terms with this cruel reality, but you have to face the facts. Echo will kill you if you let him, you need to stay away from him. Still feeling a bit dizzy from when Echo hit you, you stagger from one hideout to the next.

You mutter to yourself, "This is so unreal"

Looking up because you feel it coming, you see Echo trying to jump you. You can barely avoid him. Reaching into the Force, you grab him and smack him against a wall. It was more of a reflex without thinking, than a reaction. Heart pounding, you stand over his unconscious body. He is clever, and he knows you, he managed to sneak up on you. Echo almost had you. The thought of him really killing you, creeped up and down your spine.

"Sorry, sweetheart", you whisper, "I love you, but I can't stay"

Months Later:

A strange message made you come here, someone wanted to meet you here. It's an old place where Echo and you used to meet, secretly. You are aware, this could be a trap, but you still had to come.

"Cyare"

Your heart jumps into your throat. Turning around, you see Echo approach you. His face, his eyes, you can see right away, he is your Echo again. You don't even think about reaching for your lightsaber.

"Echo", you say quietly.

He stops a few steps away from you, he looks so shy and nervous, like the first time you met at this place.

"I'm so sorry", he says, his voice almost failing him, "For what I did. The chip activated and... the worst part is, I was fully aware, the whole time, but I couldn't stop myself from trying to... kill you"

He swallows and adds, "Honestly, I didn't think you'd come"

A few tears run down your face, but you smile at him.

"I had to come, Echo"

He comes closer and hugs you, softly at first but finally pressing you against his body, shaky and silently sobbing.

Wrecker

He is scary! He pries open doors you hide behind, he smashes obstacles in his way with his pure strength. You know what will happen if he gets his huge hands on you. Those hands which had touched you so lovingly before, hands that now want to crush you. And he literally can if he gets you. Somewhere in the back of your panicked mind, you already hear your own bones crush. Your sweet giant is anything but sweet, right now. You know it's not his fault, it's that rotten chip in his head. Rex warned you about it, but it seems like you still didn't act fast enough. You feel him coming closer and duck. Wrecker rams a dent into the dura-steel wall where just a second ago your head has been. That hit would have crushed your skull, easily.

Making evasive maneuvers, almost dancing around him, you try to think of something to end this and help him. But you know, for now you have to give up and run. You can't carry him, and you know he's called for imperial back-up. You need to leave, now.

As you knock him out with a Force blow and leave him there, you do it with a heavy heart. Not sure if you ever see him again and if so, if he will still want to kill you.

Months Later:

"Mesh'la?!"

You wheel around, startled. You know that voice. As you see Wrecker approaching you in the middle of a marketplace, you look around alarmed, searching for Imps. But there are none.

"It is you! It's really you"

Wrecker has the biggest smile on his face, looking at you with watering eyes. You can see he wants to hug you, but he's holding back.

"Wrecker", you say softly, "You are not here to kill me, are you?"

He shakes his head.

"No! Of course not! I'm so sorry for what happened, I wasn't in control, but I still knew what was going on and..."

You softly place your hand on his chest.

"I know, Wrecker, it's okay"

A few tears roll down his sweet face.

"Can I hug you, please?"

Your heart beats faster, and you nod with a smile. Wrecker softly grabs you with his huge hands and lifts you into his arms. Your own arms wrap around his huge shoulders, and you nestle your face in the gape between his neck and shoulder.

"I missed you so much", he says, hoarsely.

Tech

It's a nightmare, at least that's what it feels like. You wish it was just a nightmare. Tech's got you pinned down, and you are struggling against his grip. He is clever, he knows all about you, it was way too easy for him to catch you and knock you off your feet.

"Tech! Let go of me!"

"You are in violation of order 66 ugh-", you ram your knee into his stomach interrupting him.

"I'm sorry, Tech, I don't want to hurt you, but you leave me no choice!"

Tech is grunting, struggling to his feet and trying to reach for his teaser. You know what he's about to do, and kick him again. The teaser slips out of his hands and clatters to the ground, sliding away over the floor.

Hastily, you jump to your feet. You know he won't give up, and you know he's way too clever, knowing too much about you. You have to knock him out and run for it.

"Jedi!", he spits out as if the word is bile in his mouth.

Seeing your sweet Tech like this, hurts so deep. You love this man with all your heart, but right now he is not himself. You know you have to fight him, and the thought alone, makes you break out in a cold sweat.

But there is no way around it, he's aiming for you again, this time he has one of his blasters back. You reach out into the Force and knock him against a wall, knocking him out.

"Fuck", you swear silently.

You are shaky and feel so down, but you have to leave him. You can hear other Troopers, they are looking for you too.

Months Later:

You feel him watch you before you see him. As you look around, searching for the eyes watching you, you see him standing not too far away, watching you timidly. As your gaze meets his, he lowers his eyes, looking to the ground.

Of course, you approach him. Standing right in front of him, you softly say his name and ask him to look at you.

Tech is hesitating, but finally he looks up.

"Cyare", he says, barely above a whisper.

You cup his face in your hands, smiling at him.

"You are my Tech again, aren't you?"

He nods, still whispering, "I'm so sorry, please forgive me"

He sounds and looks so heartbroken, you almost want to cry for him. Instead, you kiss him softly.

"There is nothing to forgive. It wasn't your fault"

Very suddenly, he breaks out of his frozen state and hugs you, hiding his face at your neck, mumbling soft, loving words.

Crosshair

You reached the clinic too late, just shortly before his chip is supposed to be removed, that hellish thing takes over his mind. He gives you one hell of a fight. You are bruised and limping, barely still standing, and he is still biting at your heels. The place is crowded, people are in panic, and you know soon, it would be crawling with imps too. You need to get out.

Crosshair jumps you at a corridor crossing. He lunges himself at you like a wrecking ball. You scream and groan under pain as he tears you to the ground with him. He's got no weapons with him, not even his armor, because he was already getting prepared for the procedure, when shit hit the fan. But Crosshair is not holding back, still attacking you.

As he lays his hands around your neck and squeezes, for a second you can just look up at him, in horror, shock and disbelief.

"Good soldiers follow orders..."

But shortly after, everything happens like a reflex. You ram your knee between his legs, right before you use the Force to throw him off of you and against a wall.

Gasping for air, you struggle back to your feet. Your heart is heavy, yet your pulse is racing. It's not easy to turn your back on him. But right now, you don't have a choice, time is running out.

Months Later:

"Hey, Kitten"

You freeze in your movement, even holding your breath.

"Keep breathing", Crosshair says softly, "It's just me"

Slowly you turn around and see him standing there, tall and handsome as ever, chewing on a toothpick. You don't know what to say or do, so you just stand there for a long moment, looking at him.

He shrugs, obviously not really knowing what to do and says, "I'm myself again, the chip is out of my head"

You nod, "Good for you".

It's one of his standard answers he used to give you when he mocked you, back in the day. Crosshair chuckles because he gets the little hint, and you can't help but smile.

He comes closer and admits, "I missed you, and I was very worried about you"

"If you'd be looking out for me, you wouldn't have to worry as much", you say softly, as he tenderly grazes your cheek with his knuckles.

Crosshair says with a smirk, "Don't you worry about that, I won't let you out of sight anytime soon"

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@puppetswithteeth

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@starwarsnerd111

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moriartyluver · 2 years

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Hi! May I request a Louis x Reader where we just SMOTHER him with love and affection? Maybe a scenario where he's feeling a bit down or tired. Maybe we're in the bedroom and we're caressing his cheeks while just saying a lot of words of affirmation and physical touch. One where he's not saying anything while we just hit him with the most reassuring words of encouragement anybody has ever said to him and he's holding back tears while we look at him with the softest eyes he had ever seen. You can add any other characters if you want ofc! (since ur the author and u have full control) have a good day/night! (Also sorry if my English isn't very good I'm still learning)

A/N: your English is great anon! I honestly wouldn’t have guessed you weren’t a native speaker! Thank you for your request btw! I love Louis sm <3 I also added a few other characters as a little treat. Sorry if it took longer than expected! READER IS GENDER NEUTRAL

Character: Louis J Moriarty x reader, William J Moriarty x reader, Albert J Moriarty x reader (separate)

Genre: (almost tooth-rotting) fluff, comfort

Prompt: comforting the Moriarty brothers after a long day

Format: Drabble + scenarios

Warnings: ptsd episode (in William’s) and mentions of suicide (William again)

—Louis J. Moriarty who had a bad day with all the work being done around the manor and Sebastian slacking off while William hadn’t been taking care of himself. He’s sick of being the responsible adult who has to take care of everyone. He just wants to be comforted and held (don’t we all?). That’s where you come in. He loves you more than anything. You’re always there for him.

“Had a bad day ,love?” You asked Louis as he sat down on your bed.

He was evidently tired. You could tell his reckless brothers had been stressing him out and Sebastian really hadn’t been helping with all his drinking. Fred told you he thought he wasn’t doing well once you came back home and you made it your duty, as his lover, to take care of the poor boy.

“Yeah..I’m fine, dear…” he lied. He avoided your gaze. You had seen right through him.

“You sure?” You said, placing a hand on Louis’ thigh. He chewed on his lip, secretly warming into your touch, hoping you’d give him a hug, a kiss, anything really. He was so tired and he just wanted you to comfort him.

He nodded with a hum but was interrupted by your arms enveloping his sleepy form. He was surprised at first but returned the affectionate gesture and leaned into you, his head resting on your shoulder.

“Liar.” You smiled as you reached over to his cheek and started caressing it.

Your lover tried to hide his embarrassed face but you lifted his face to yours and peppered him in kisses, leaving him blushing like crazy.

“You don’t have to tell me how your day was but it might feel better to let a few things of your chest?” You suggested after giving him a kiss on his forehead and letting him snuggle into you.

“ ‘m just feeling a bit down.” His muffled voice said

“Alright, darling,” you smiled, running your fingers through his soft dirty blonde locks. “Honestly, I don’t know anyone who’s stronger than you. You keep everything in order and I don’t know how on earth you can put up with Moran’s whines sometimes.” You laughed.

At this point, his eyes have a shimmer on them and his eyelashes had grown wet with this tears. He was holding back sobs as you held him close to your warm and comforting body.

After more words of adoration and affirmation, you lifted his chin, leading him to face your soft smile.

“I love you more than anything.”

(He cried in your arms after that while you wondered what you did wrong)

—William J Moriarty who had a minor ptsd episode while you were in the garden with Fred and he was in his office. You walk in just in time and comfort him as his lovely spouse. What would he do without you? (He’d kill himself.)

“(Name)? Where are you going?” Fred asked as you rose from your previous kneeling position beside him.

“I don’t know..I just have a feeling somethings off. I’m gonna go check on Liam..” you said, rushing back into the house. You trusted your intuition, you really did but sometimes you doubted it. Why would your gut instinct tell you to go into William’s office when you were meant to be hanging out with Fred and admiring his flowers?

Fred nodded as he watched you run into the house. You and William had such a strong bond, it honestly kept surprising them at times. Whenever he was sick, William would refuse to be seen by anyone else but you, who forcefully nursed him back to health. William barely could ever sleep unless you were there beside him. Perhaps you had become a telepath too.

Once the door to William’s office swung open, you scanned the room for your lover. He wasn’t sat at his desk which made you worried. As you walked into the room, you could hear muffled sniffles and crys. You turned in the direction of the sounds to see William crumpled on the floor beside his desk, clearly upset and panicky. As his lover, you had been told of his childhood before but didn’t understand the true extent of how much his past had haunted him until that moment.

“William…?” You called out to him. Panic was mildly evident in your voice but you tried to remain calm for his sake. You didn’t want to worry the others so you decided to take care of him by yourself.

He was shivering and crying, completely disconnected from reality.

You knelt beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, letting him know that you were there. Never having witnessed William in such a state before meant that you didn’t know what exactly you were meant to do so you treated the incident as a more severe version of a panic attack (mind you, in the Victorian era, nobody knew ptsd existed and mental health issues were treated very poorly. Most people were ‘exorcised’ if they were traumatised or going through a manic episode)

You grabbed a blanket that was discarded on the couch and draped it over him, holding his head close to your chest while you rubbed his back, easing him along and waiting for his breathing to steady. You could feel his hands gripping the back of your clothes as he continued crying into your chest. He was somewhat ashamed that you had seen him like that. He was so used to being strong for you and William never would have hoped you’d see it.

You continued reassuring him through physical affection and your words while your lover calmed down slowly. You sat him on the couch with you and stroked his hair while he clung to your body, refusing to let you see his pretty tear stained face. You played with his hair while he tried to tell you what had happened only a few moments before you entered the room. He was scared. Scared of being a bad person.

William was the kindest and most empathetic man you knew. He always did what he believed to be the best for others and was there for you when you needed him. Surely, a man like him could never be bad. And you told him exactly that.

He felt so lucky to have you. You were there when he was at his lowest and reassured him of his worth. You were so good to him.

(When Fred came to check up on the two of you out of curiosity, he found William asleep in your arms and you laying underneath him. Bonde also happened to be there and if Victorian cameras were more advanced, he would totally have taken multiple pictures of such a sentimental scene)

—Albert J Moriarty who had came back from a party full of morally bankrupt nobles, irritated to the bone and in desperate need of being able to rant to his lover while laying his head down in their lap.

“Welcome back, darling.” You greeted your husband.

As the oldest son of the Moriarty family, he held the responsibility of attending numerous events with other nobles, on top of the work he had to do for the military intelligence and the Lord of crime all at once.

You could tell that he didn’t have a fun time at the recent ball. You knew of the nobles who were hosting it and…to say the least they were on the Lord of crime’s hitlist….

“Incredibly glad to be back.” He gave you a tired smile and hung up his blazer, removing the rest of his formal wear as soon as he shut the door to your shared bedroom.

“They were annoying, weren’t they?”

“Mhm..your lucky you didn’t have to go.” He murmured, putting on some more comfortable clothes “still, I wish I had some decent company in such a filthy place..”

“I really wish I could have gone with you, baby, but I was busy helping Moran..” an idea popped into your head like a shiny lightbulb glowing above you. “How about you tell me all about it while you lay your head down in my lap?”

This wasn’t the first time you had offered this form of affection. It wasn’t strange for it to be the other way round either. After a few moments of silence, Albert plopped his head onto your soft thighs, almost as though he were a cat. His chocolate coloured locks cascaded over your upper legs as he shifted around, trying to get comfortable.

“God, how can I even begin to start on how bad these nobles were…when we were dancing, one of the noblemen knocked into a servant who was serving drinks and she apologised immediately even though it wasn’t her fault and the nobleman started yelling at her in front of everyone, with no shame..!” You listened attentively while your lover rambled on. You played with his hair and even braided a small part of it while he continued talking, his beautiful voice echoing against the walls of the room.

“Are you listening ,love?” He asked, pulling your hand away from his hair and over to his lips, placing a soft kiss against the back of your hand.

“As always, dear.” You smiled sincerely.

Moments like these were always the most comforting with Albert, a man plagued by his obsession with perfection. He didn’t care when he was with you, at least not a lot, anyways.

#moriarty the patriot #william james moriarty #william moriarty #william moriarty x reader #yuumori x reader #mtp william #mtp x reader #mtp Albert #albert moriarty #Albert moriarty x reader #Louis moriarty #Louis moriarty x reader #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #yuukoku no moriarty #james moriarty #moriarty brothers #liam moriarty

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stromuprisahat · 10 months

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why do so many of Yennefer’s outfits that I’ve seen (including her bra) look modern? Wouldn’t she be wearing something else?

They can't stick to monochromatic colour scheme- considering various options regarding cuts, layers or structure the history of clothing offers, would be way too much!

So yes, her clothes looks either like something my grandma would wear, or rags they scavenged on a raid on local trift store. I don't know where the budget went, but it sure as fuck wasn't Yennefer's wardrobe.

I hate you anon, btw. Now I have to go through all of that to see how superficial my impression is... although I'll only do first five episodes, considering when did the ask arrive (and my mental health).

That fucking purple cloak. Or another one, it doesn't matter. Either way TWN world apparently works in completely different way if purple isn't both conspicuous and expensive. Probably why we saw so much of it on average peasants in previous two seasons...

The broke nerd all class makes fun of (Are those platform shoes?!) or local goth witch high schooler, who's probably gonna lecture you on energies and angels? From up close my guess would be a bit older- that's some 20-ish teacher fresh from uni, trying to look respectable. My grandma would like the blouse very much. It's exactly her style.

This looks like vaguely "historical" cosplay you can find in trift stores or even your own wardrobe. It's also good to know average sorceress on the run can still get her mani-pedi comparable with present-day treatment.

Sorry for the quality, the lighting isn't very good and I'm not in mood to spend even a little more time on this, but this dress looks A LOT like the one from 01×05. So does the mask. (Budget cuts? Lack of creativity? Yennefer saving it for some twenty years in case she'd need to make Geralt feel nostalgic?)

Strong businesswoman jacket or What you want to wear to impress your peers and make them agree with you!

Some sort of nightgown? Sexy lingerie straight from the catalogue?

And we got to my "favourite"!

What the fuck is this rag? It looks like somethig Yen used to wipe the floor with, then proceeded to tie a knot or two and ta-daaa! Comfortable dress for every occasion's here! A ball or leisure? It's prefect for anything! (Unless you possess fashion sense, or gods-forbid sense of aesthetics.)

IS THAT A FUCING BRA?!

Couldn't they at least pretend to try?!

I guess Netflix couldn't afford seamstresses, so their brilliant costume designer decided to lend them something of her own.

This isn't even attempt at vaguely historical fantasy. Just some ugly loose whatever... Yen's tops, Yen's shoes... It certainly doesn't look like she's wearing stays EVER.

Compare with my favourite historically totally innacurate series:

#reply #The Witcher (TV series)#season 3 #Yennefer of Vengerberg #Lucinda Wright #TWN critical #Why would you want to become costume designer for pseudo historical fantasy #if you're not interested in history AND lack imagination?!

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kdramaxoxo · 1 year

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Hey I love your blog soooooo much!! 💖 I’m going through a tough time rn and I was wondering if you had any funny kdrama recommendations?! Or kdramas that made you feel really happy when you watched it?!

Thank you for all your posts and recommendations btw! I’ve loved so many of your recommendations and I’m so grateful for your blog!!💕💕💕

Oh anon i'm so sorry you're going through it :( Thank you so much for the blog love and hopefully one of these will fit your mood!

K-dramas to brighten your day:

Shopping King Louie (romcom): Ridiculously fun and lighthearted romp following a spoiled and useless chaebol with amnesia who is being taken care of by a country bumpkin in the city. Very low stakes, super adorable couple, and as many tropes as you can fit in your bag, this one is one of my favorites to recommend.

Extraordinary You/ A Day Found By Chance (fantasy/romance): This magical k-drama has my heart. It plays with all of the predictable tropes and then just goes crazy! While not perfect towards the end, I give this show bonus points for being super creative AND inspiring me to read a LOT of fan fic. I think about this drama more than any other.

Soundtrack #1: (romance) A short drama about two friends. One of them is helping the other write a love song (while also being in love with her). It’s cute!

Hit The Spot: rom/com-ish: Just a heads up this is legit rated-r and has graphic sex scenes. I don't usually go for that (and actually the scenes are pretty funny to me personally - the first episode starts that way but I swear you can just skip those scenes) but the actual drama was soooo good (and maybe sponsored by a sex toy company?) Hani delivers (i love her so much) and the sex positive messaging and just two ladies getting what they need?? So funny and so fun!! But take care if this isn't for you.

Run On: (rom com) This show follows four people in their daily lives: An athletic, a translator, a CEO and an artist. Soft soft couples!! Y'all know I love this slice of life rom com for so many reasons, but you might not know that Kang Tae Oh’s character (the painter) is like one of my dream boys. BLORBO FROM MY SHOWS.

Have a Nice Dessert (another cute web drama): If you’re looking for low angst and a super soft boy, this is your drama!! It’s a web drama (youtube) about a girl who loves photographing desserts and the boy who likes her. Like all web dramas, it’s short, and there’s really no time for angst and breakups :)

The Best Hit / Hit The Top (romcom): A famous 90′s boyband dude travels into the future and meets up with his family and friends in this really cute drama featuring Yoon Shi Yoon. I LOVE Yoon Shi Yoon in pretty much everything but this role was made for him - he is hilarious. It’s a slice of life but features the k-pop music industry so the setting is unique.

Into The Ring (workplace/romcom): The perfect slice-of-life rom com! Goo Se Ra has trouble holding down a job due to her passionate personality so after she loses her latest job working for the ML, she decides to run for a small government office position because it pays a salary. Literally she does it for the money which is just *chef’s kiss.* The show is about her dealing with local politics and it’s SO FUNNY and smart and the OTP is the best!

Eulachacha Waikiki / Laughter In Waikiki: (ridiculous comedy) I hope you’re ready for a crazy amount of unlikely situations and nutty hijinks because this show is probably one the most silly ones I’ve ever watched. It follows a group of friends who own a hostel so it’s a slice of life drama. At certain points I was like “this is TOO silly” but I’m glad I stuck with it cause it was so hilarious. Plus, the baby is a star!

Light On Me (web drama bl): I absolutely adored this simple and sweet drama! One of my favorite korean BLs EVER! Because it’s longer than the average Korean BL, it actually has: *cues triumphant music* Character development!

Fight for My Way (romcom) I love this drama! The couple is one of my OTPs and it’s really funny and a mostly lighthearted story of a group of friends. It’s down to earth and adorable - I’ve never had anyone complain about this one!

Wok of Love: (romcom) Despite the fact that the show was shortened by two episodes because of sports, this drama is a funny and quirky show worth watching. Many people dropped it because it was SO crazy for the first couple of episodes (it has a talking horse people!), but it does settle into a really sweet and fun story about a chef, a gangster and a rich girl and her family. If you love food, this show is for YOU!

Splash Splash Love: (short drama) Featuring a girl struggling with her studies and magically ends up in an ancient land working for a king! It’s awesome!

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo: Super cute and fluffy drama featuring a female weightlifter lacking confidence, and a popular and good looking swimmer. Romance & great friendships!

Top Management: Adorable mini drama about a girl who can see the future and becomes the rookie manager for a kpop band. Fun and easy (plus they seem to be setting it up for another season…)

***J-drama rec*** Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!: (romance, fluff, represenation!) If you’re used to k-dramas were everything could go wrong at any time, you’re in for a real treat! Cherry Magic is my absolute favorite drama of last year and this year combined (even with a silly name like it has!) - It’s the ONLY show I’ve ever given a 10/10 rating to. An introverted guy finds out a seemingly popular and confident co-worker has a crush on him. This drama is so so soft, so so sweet and it has not one but TWO ace characters and a lot of gay panic! I’ve rewatched it recently and smiled the ENTIRE time. Plus there’s a valentines day special that’s really fun.

Bonus short shows for instant relief:

Gaduri Sushi Restaurant

Semantic Error

Out of Breath (gl!)

The Best Mistake

Kiss Goblin

Enjoy and I hope you feel better soon!!

#kdrama #kdrama recs #kdrama recommendations #semantic error #run on #so happy to add that junho wok of love gif #any chance to do it and i will #cause people don't realize the kisses in that show #are soooo #i love a list #should i have added hometown cha cha cha #and semantic error?#ask

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obeymedevil · 2 years

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Obey Me Headcanons

The ask: Hello! I'd like to request headcanons for Mammon, Belphie, Barbatos, and Simeon where they try to deal with a reader that can't sleep? I've had days where it takes me 2 hours before I drift off. :'D Thank you~ (Btw, is there a character limit?)

Sent in by: @thecurrator

A/N: Thank you so so much for waiting!! I hope this is what you were looking for! Ahh not being able to sleep is the worst especially when it's hot~ Here's to sweet dreams and better sleeps! And I'd prefer maximum 4 or 5 characters in one piece of writing! If you guys want more or all characters then I'll separate it into two seperate pieces of work! :3 So if you don't mind one bit of work out first then Nope! No limit! :D

(Also tumblr glitched out so I had to copy and reupload like this! Sorry for the inconvenience!)

Warnings: None! Just fluff :3

I can't sleep! Ft Mammon, Belphie, Barbatos and Simeon (Separate).

Why was it so difficult to sleep tonight? You had been tossing and turning all night, the blankets beginning to wrap around you annoyingly the more you moved around. How many hours had it been now anyway? You soon began slapping your hand about lazily in search of your D.D.D on your bedside, once it was clicked on you winced a little at the bright light. 4am, already? That's it! It couldn't continue like this much longer, you were beginning to get emotional at the lack of sleep so you did the best thing you could at the time which was to text him and it didn't take long for him to be at your door either.

Mammon

Literally at your door as soon as the little speech bubble appears to indicate your typing to him. It's not like he was debating for a while about texting you.

Honest!

Once he gets permission to enter your room, expect a rather concerned Mammon to stand beside your bed ranting about your sleep Schedule and how you're lucky that he even showed up.

You and I both know that's not true though Mc, he was simply desperate for your company. ♡

"Ya can't sleep? Well yer lucky The Great Mammon showed up to help! Huh? N-no of course I wanna help! Ya my human after all… Just don't go to any of my brothers, 'kay? Just come to me."

Expect him to climb into bed beside you if that's something you're comfortable with!

He'll wrap his arms around you and pull you close to his chest to keep you safe. After this he'll start rambling softly to you about his plans tomorrow. (All of these include you one way or another! Good Luck!)

Eventually you'll both begin to get drowsy though… That's when he starts rambling about how much he loves and cares for you.

Soon you'll fall asleep to his gentle hold and the soft rumbling of his chest as he speaks.

If the boys find you like that in the morning? No they didn't. ♡

Belphie

This sleepy boy will be there way before you even pick up your phone to text him. (Like that would wake up the Avatar of Sloth… But worth a shot right?)

The door will be opened and You'll have a half conscious bundle of blankets making its way toward you.

"Mc! Why aren't you sleeping? You weren't in my dreams... I couldn't find you. Move to the side. C'monnn… I'm sleepy. I'll help you rest alright?"

From here you'll either be dragged to his room or the attic if he decides your bed isn't comfortable enough for you both.

If he does choose that its comfy enough (or if he's just too tired to care), then you're going to be joining his very cosy and safe blanket burrito with him snuggled right up to you.

You're now stuck in a blanket made heaven! …Or hell considering you're in the Devildom? Expect a late breakfast and a slightly irritated Lucifer at how late you both were.

A soft kiss to your forehead with a little bit of his power and you're off into the most refreshing and comfiest sleep ever.

Dreams are filled with you and Belphie going on several adventures! (They're basically dates though~)

This is his realm after all so he'll be spoiling you for once!

Barbatos

Another one who's already at your door before you could text him to see if he was up. He can't help but check in on the future for you! He wants you to be comfortable and happy as much as possible.

If he couldn't do that, then what kind of butler would he be? (This man adores you and disguises him being a simp for you by claiming that it's just him being a butler.)

In this instance you're staying the night in Lord Diavolos castle and Barbatos' softer knocks made you tilt your head a bit before allowing the person in.

" Ah, forgive my particularly late intrusion, Mc. I actually have a magic infused cup of tea for you to help you sleep. Hm? How did I know you couldn't sleep? If I didn't know when my love- I mean, my lovely guest was suffering then i'd be a terrible butler. Don't you think? Here, have a sip and tell me how it tastes."

He'd pull up a chair beside your bed and fill the air with light chatter and feeling rather proud when a smile graces your lips.

Finished your tea? The teacup is already out of your way and his newly ungloved hand offers to hold your hand as you lay back down.

Would you allow him to stay until you fall asleep Mc? He'll keep you safe and ensure nothing disturbs your slumber.

That tea and his thumb rubbing soothing patterns against your hand was enough to have you out like a light all whilst having the sweetest dreams.

Expect a personal late breakfast made by him when you wake♡.

Simeon

The second you press send, you have a lovely reassuring reply that he'll be right there to help!

You don't have to wait long for the soft knock at your door and a gentle announcement that he's coming in!

This boy literally brought a teddy bear with him just for you (It was meant to be a surprise gift to you but bears are made to help with this right?)

"Mc, I got you a little something to help! Hey, don't worry. I've had trouble sleeping too before and it's never any fun. Here, why don't you cuddle up with them? I'll be right here… What can I do to help you rest comfortably?"

With your permission he'll gently climb on top of the bed and hold your hand with that loving Smile of his.

Your emotions were running high though due to how tired you were and so you found your way onto his lap and into his arms with your newly white toned fuzzy bear.

He would never hesitate to hold you!! Please always give him hugs Mc, he adores you so much!

With a gentle yet deep sleepy voice of his saying he's got you safe, his wings would soon emerge and wrap themselves around you in a protective embrace.

You're safe with him now and asleep against a literal angel! No bad dreams were in sight. ♡

#obey me #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me fanfiction #obey me lucifer #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me levi #obey me mammon #obey me satan #mammon x mc #belphie x mc #barbatos x mc #simeon x mc

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y4wnjunz · 1 year

Text

chapter 1

warnings: cursing, overthinking, nothing really just a good intro for y/n’s life.

word count: ?? i lost count sorry!

today is the day we'll finally be sizing our suits in preparation to go home, or well.. earth as majority of the population calls it. we're currently over the pacific ocean, which i assume it is as it's just a big vast of blue.

my cousin, mark, he says when i get acclimated to the gravity on earth, i'll get to experience real public school, not the school i've been stuck with for the past couple of years.

i wonder what it's like having friends. and boyfriends. or even girlfriends. and sleeping on a plush mattress without straps holding you down. or the smell of grass and not burning plastic, which space smells like.

here in the station we grow plants to help produce o2 or well, oxygen. what's it like on earth, where the wind blows in your hair and helps you cool off in the summer heat.

mark calls summer time, the devil's asshole.. whatever that means.

living in the station and only being around jay, yuna and our unofficial/ official babysitter, officer kim or soojin as we call her; it's hard, because i have no idea these slang words mark says during our video chats.

i've met some of mark friends, heeseung is quiet and jake reminds me of the golden retrievers that i've seen on movies. loud. energetic. and a partier.

they tell me all the stories of their weekly frat parties, every saturday at 8pm they all get plastered and puke their guts out the very next morning. sounds like a pain in my opinion.

they say it's fun until they have to get up for their 9am lecture on monday.

the thought of actually meeting someone other than the people i grew up with scares me. what if i have the permanent smell of burning plastic, or what if i actually never meet these people because my immune system is compromised from living in this floating tin can.

a worrisome expression makes its way into my eyebrows. making jay look at me from his treadmill. he takes his sweatband off; you know to prevent sweat from messing up the computers or getting into someone's eye. not good, happened once and we all got a whole new asshole from the captain on the ground. "hey y/n.. you okay?" jay asks floating next to me.

"yeah, just worried i guess," i look at him and he's nodding his head in agreement.

"i understand y/n. i'm scared shitless for the mission. can you believe we'll be down there in a month?? that's insane. all we've ever known is this!" jay says.

"we got this," i grab his hand and give it a firm hold. he squeezes it back in agreement.

i worry about everything as you can tell. from the possible reaction our bodies could have from radiation to what tomorrow will bring. i have a personal therapist that works for nasa, she's pretty cool. she says i'm one of the first people to be born in space, which that's a given. thanks linda. btw linda isn't her name, she just allows me to call her that since her real name is extremely hard to pronounce.

i torpedo back to my room, which is quite small. a little window with a bed and a tiny bathroom which is quite funny since our bathroom consists of tubes, and bags to store our- well you know.. hopefully.

i grab my book that's strapped down to my bed and read. it's quite fun floating around and getting to just read in the air. something mark, heeseung and jake are all jealous of. maybe one day they'll get to experience this. who knows, after-all jay, yuna and i's parents are astronauts so we got first dibs when our mothers were pregnant.

"hey y/n, we're doing a death sim, so come join us in the bridge please!" soojin says over the intercom. i sigh and place my book back under the bed strap and torpedo back out the door into the bridge.

jay, yuna and soojin are already there with their hands on the railing by the command desk. we can't exactly sit in space so we awkwardly float there with our hair going everwhere. jay blows yuna's hair out of his mouth and almost immediately start arguing.

beep

the control panel indicates that we can be seen by the commander. he's actually the guy who gives orders and is the one who started us as lab rats when he found out two of his astronauts was two months pregnant. i'm honestly surprised we all survived the three-hour trip to the station.

"glad to see everyone is getting along, jay. yuna. and hello soojin and y/n! how's everyone feeling?" commander park says with an eye smile. commander park is actually jay and yuna's great uncle, he's about 60 years old, pretty cool, but i can't help but to despise him for putting us in space.

there were mixed responses from everyone; good. soojin sleepy. yuna i'm bored. jay

and me.. idk how i'm feeling right now, so i stick with the good ole response.

"i'm good, how are you commander park?" i say trying to get this death sim started and over with.

after an hour or two, i lost count, the death sim was over with and we were able to go back to our living quarters to prepare for the next day.

we're so close to going to earth and i'm feeling it in my chest.

#kpop #enhypen #heeseung x reader #jay x reader #sunghoon x reader #jake x reader #sunoo #jungwon #niki #nishimura riki #txt #yeonjun x reader #soobin x reader #beomgyu x reader #taehyun x reader #huening kai x reader #kpop fic #enhypen fanfic #txt fanfic

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

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good evening, lovie!! this cat TT it's so cuute 'the general consensus is that is morning' girl 11.... 11 timezones... 'i will always reply to you i promise' i love you TT my overthinking isn't really your problem so.. but i appreciate your kind words and your answers<з 'I LOVE THAT FOR US' big brain cells love johnny in this house!!! fun fact: in the russian search engine johnny is the only one from nct whose name is written in english LOL so yeah. do you stan any other group, btw? 'THE EARN YOUR FIRST BILLION WAS SO RANDOM' do you want to? 'not that im saying you hated this song' it's ok i didn't even know it hfhfjd that time i was listening to some 'cool' rap and absolutely crazy remixes about being a depressed child... yeah. no idea why im what i am now... 'stabbed in the gut by someone mid wartime' OMG how completely opposite TT i was so sure about the childbirth thing, actually... 'thus why Daemon managed to find a sorcerer' lol he's the prince and the rebellious one, always travelling and doing things so i thought he kinda just... omg my wife is dying go find that sorcerer in the woods! it's quite funny but also ig that's the magic of writings? everyone has their own image. but SO opposite? lol men (derogatory). fact. 'add as many ideas as you told me into the story' omg what a monster it should be with ALL ideas. actually it's so very sweet TT thank u TT doing my best for you TT i understand you didn't mean like ALL the ideas but imagine... imagine a work with all the shit i've said... it should be scary and so chaotic ig TT i believe in you and your talent, so i'm waiting and readying myself to write a long as hell reply! god bless your imagination! also this bear gif reminded me of the summer when we had like.. 3 wild brown bears in the town... they were cutie. and this gif is cute too. 'you can send me alien songs id still listen to it' i used to like it SO MUCH in 2020. you're so cute for this though TT thank u sm TT 'SACRIFICE SACRIFICE' no but i have high temperature now and i really need a sacrifice TT 'someone else could write it so i could fucking read' girl... if you can wait for a real lifetime..... bc i don't now when and even IF i'll ever write something.... it's not a promise, pls dont see it as one. 'i made the key not so high and she still messed it up' oh poor girl. hope she's doing fine now. rip. what key though...... i'm really bad at music, i'm sorry TT idk if it's like a music word or not... 'idk you know what time im sending this from <3' yeah i see the time you publish it... that's how i learned your time at first before you said where you live. it must be 20:58 for you rn if you're interested. so guess good night or good morning!! love you!! good luck with your soprano!! take care<з

BESTIE HIIIII!!!! I just finished writing a daemon fic it's super fluffy you might like it

have a kitty gif!

LOVE LETTER TOIME

good evening, lovie!! this cat TT it's so cuute

youre so good at knowing my time lol HAHAA also yes that kitty was sososososooso cute

'the general consensus is that is morning' girl 11.... 11 timezones... 'i will always reply to you i promise' i love you TT my overthinking isn't really your problem so.. but i appreciate your kind words and your answers<з

I MEAN IT WAS MORNING WHEN I SENT IT SO ////: HSFHASLHFLAHF HAHHAHAHH also its fine i understand overthinking cos i do that too but i have been getting better at managing it though <3 so relax its all good

'I LOVE THAT FOR US' big brain cells love johnny in this house!!! fun fact: in the russian search engine johnny is the only one from nct whose name is written in english LOL so yeah. do you stan any other group, btw?

BIG BRAINERS LOVE JOHN. THIS GIF 😃

also the search engine HAAHAH that's johnny's american powers for you HAHAAAHH. i do stan a lot of groups actually but i think my mains would be nct svt bigbang shinee then i also like exo super junior tvxq got7 and a bunch more im too lazy to think of them all AHHAHH

'THE EARN YOUR FIRST BILLION WAS SO RANDOM' do you want to?

HAHAHHAH YES GIMME A BILLION RIGHT NOWWWWW 😈😈😈😈

'not that im saying you hated this song' it's ok i didn't even know it hfhfjd that time i was listening to some 'cool' rap and absolutely crazy remixes about being a depressed child... yeah. no idea why im what i am now...

well ur my cat now duh 🙄 my cutie lil baby that i keep in my pocket. also HAHLDHASKHD It's so funny that you were blissfully unaware of the rap being cool HAHAHHAAH

'stabbed in the gut by someone mid wartime' OMG how completely opposite TT i was so sure about the childbirth thing, actually...

hehe lol thats fine

'thus why Daemon managed to find a sorcerer' lol he's the prince and the rebellious one, always travelling and doing things so i thought he kinda just... omg my wife is dying go find that sorcerer in the woods! it's quite funny but also ig that's the magic of writings? everyone has their own image. but SO opposite? lol men (derogatory). fact

yes yes truly the magic of writing! daemon BETTER look for a sorcerer if his wife is dying of labor /: mid. men (derogatory) [real]

'add as many ideas as you told me into the story' omg what a monster it should be with ALL ideas. actually it's so very sweet TT thank u TT doing my best for you TT i understand you didn't mean like ALL the ideas but imagine... imagine a work with all the shit i've said... it should be scary and so chaotic ig TT i believe in you and your talent, so i'm waiting and readying myself to write a long as hell reply! god bless your imagination!

it would be such a monster tbh T_T HAHAAHA so long so painful so tiring but so good T_T i'll do m best but im starting my classes so it will take a while. i truly would be a chaotic masterpiece. i believe in my skills too 😌🤩💅 purr. God bless us all. im excited to see what you think of what i'll end up with.

also this bear gif reminded me of the summer when we had like.. 3 wild brown bears in the town... they were cutie. and this gif is cute too.

TEDDY BEAR SNUGGLES IF BEAR DEADLY WHY SHAPED LIKE FRIEND

'you can send me alien songs id still listen to it' i used to like it SO MUCH in 2020. you're so cute for this though TT thank u sm TT

OMG I LOVE AKMU THEYRE SO TALENTED this is the first time im listening to this song. its fine HAHAAH i much prefer this song of theirs. Also this one. i randomly downloaded a bunch of their songs and i fell in love with these ones in particular

'SACRIFICE SACRIFICE' no but i have high temperature now and i really need a sacrifice TT

T_T oh no my love i hope you get well soon [sending you love and my high... idk what its calling in english... resistance to getting sick??? well im sending that to you] GAAAAAAAAH GET BETTER 🤬🤬🤬

'someone else could write it so i could fucking read' girl... if you can wait for a real lifetime..... bc i don't now when and even IF i'll ever write something.... it's not a promise, pls dont see it as one.

HAHAHAHAHAHA as i said i would love to read anything you gimme. its ok if you dont come around to writing. i cannot wait a lifetime but for you i'll always be ready to read whatever lol. i mean i like writing but GOSH DAMN SOMETIMES IT SHOULD JUST WRITE ITSELF!!!!

'i made the key not so high and she still messed it up' oh poor girl. hope she's doing fine now. rip. what key though...... i'm really bad at music, i'm sorry TT idk if it's like a music word or not...

T_T IM SORRY I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT KEYS EITHER ASFKHASFKASFA IT BASICALLY MEANS HOW HIGH OR LOW A SONG IS!!! AND I MADE OUR SONG NOT SO HIGH BUT SHE STILL MADE HER PART HIGH!!!!! KHASFKAF WHYYY??? IDK she's doing fine but T_T my ears T_T im sorry it- yeah imma leave it at that

'idk you know what time im sending this from <3' yeah i see the time you publish it... that's how i learned your time at first before you said where you live. it must be 20:58 for you rn if you're interested.

lol good for you HAHAHAHH i think i received this at around 21:00-ish already so !! yeah pretty spot on HAHAHAHH

so guess good night or good morning!! love you!! good luck with your soprano!! take care<з

good night my love! or morning for you? idk whatever it is GET SOME SLEEP 👿 EAT WELL 👿 EXERCISE 👿 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF 👿 THAT IS A THREAT 👿 and my soprano T_T yeah good luck pray for me AHHAHAHH i hope you get better <3

xxx

#anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

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liptonsbabe · 2 years

Note

hi i was wondering when time part 3 was coming out i really loved part 1 and 2 and im really curious about whats going to happen next

Time [J.B] Pt.3.1

Summary: Your mother's will was about to be opened and you decided to travel to hear it. Jacob thinks he's lost you forever, but a call from Edward brings you back to Forks. A sacred promise will bind you to Bella beyond death.

Word count: idk. It's too long lol

Warnings: angst. Pure angst. Angst series. I love angst lol

A/N: IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT. I was so busy with school and my korean lessons that i have no time to write. I’m on vacations now so i’m going to update a lot more!. If you have some wolfpack request you can drop it in my box! :D. btw this is the part 3.1, part 3.2 will be updated tomorrow!

Same note as ever english not my mother language so tell me if something is wrong. Enjoy!

"Okay, that's enough, get up."

Charlie came into your room, he walked over to your bed and pulled the covers away from your face. You growled angrily, stretching your arms out wanting to reach for the covers but Charlie pushed them away as far as he could. Then you plopped back down on the bed, covering your face with the pillow. Your father sighed.

"It's been two months, how long do you plan to live like this?"

"A couple more months, i think."

"It's not funny. I want you to leave this room now. Geez, first Bella and now you?”

"I don't know what are you talking about."

"You know very well what I'm talking about. Being sad all the time, not leaving the house, ditching your friends, the screaming in the night..."

"I've never screamed."

"...the nightly groans that wake me up thinking you're hurt" he corrected. You sighed "It's not normal. And I don't think it's right that you're going through that for a boy. Your behavior has changed and I don't like it. I've talked to Billy and Jacob isn't any better. It seems...it seems like being apart...it seems like it physically hurt you guys."

You felt Charlie sit next to you putting his open hand on your waist caressing you lovingly. He was sick worried and it wasn't fair for him to carry so many burdens on top of the ones he already had because of his job. You uncovered your face and without daring to look at him you shook your head.

"That's silly."

"Then don't make me think in that possibility. I don't know what happened between you two and I'm not going to pressure you to tell me, but I'd like you to at least try to resume your life outside these four walls. You're about to start college and you haven't even picked a school."

"I’ll do it later."

"When?"

"When I wanted to do it, Dad, it's not your decision to make."

"Your mother wouldn't be happy to see you like this."

Your heart stopped for a second and the pain in your chest intensified. Charlie was right. The last thing your mother would want was to see you in rags leaving your dreams behind, however, you didn't feel like starting a new chapter in your life was a good idea when the previous ones weren't finished yet. Besides, the anniversary of your mother's death was near and it made you sensitive to remember the past.

"Please don't mention her."

"About that" he said, stroking your matted hair "Early in the morning your aunt called to talk about your mother. It's her fifteenth anniversary and her will is to be opened. Your aunt wants you to travel to Tennessee and be there at the reading."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but it seems like a good idea if you ask me" You saw Charlie smile slowly, his hand was caressing your arms making them warm. You noticed the concern for you in his brown eyes and felt sorry for him "I think getting away from here for a while-"

"I don't want to go away" you replied. For the past two months you had suffered through hell being away from Jacob and you knew that leaving Forks would make everything worse. You didn't want to see Jacob in your life, but you also didn't want him to be in pain so deep that it would kill him. Besides, you didn't know what would happen to you if you decided to move thousands of miles away.

"It's for the best, honey."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"I don't want you to leave either" Charlie smiled. If he could save one of his daughters from marrying a boy in a hurry then he would "But if your mother's sister called it means it's about something important, don't you think? Besides, it's about mom. Do it for her."

Your heart ached. You loved your mother and even though it had been a while since she died you felt very attached to her. You thought about it for a long time. You didn't want to hurt Jacob but you didn't want to disappoint your mom either, you loved her and she loved you. Then you thought Jacob could live with that. He would endure the pain of feeling you away and if he didn't then you were willing to die from the pain. Jacob hadn't broken the bond yet. He'd rather live with feeling a wounded heart than lose you forever. He was a selfish bastard and you weren't going to let him. Not anymore

You sat up in bed. Charlie jumped in surprise and stared at you. You squeezed your temples for a moment clearing your mind and replied:

"Okay, I'll go."

"Really?"

"Really. You're right. I can't do this to her."

"Your aunt will be so happy to see you" You smiled "So, what do you want me to tell Jacob?" asked Charlie. You frowned. The truth was that since the fight he had been looking for you at home and calling you on the phone, but you never answered his calls. Charlie asked Jacob for some time for you to relax and that you would pick up the phone when you were ready, even though you both knew that wouldn't happen. You had your pride. You were going to hold on to it with all your might.

"Nothing. I don't want you to tell him anything. He doesn't have to know I'm gone" you lied. He would know it throught the bond "And if he gets a hint of it don't tell him where I am."

"Don't worry, I won't."

"Dad, don't you want to come with me?"

"Ah, I'd love to, but I have work and I can't leave the station alone, you know" you nodded. You didn't want to leave your father alone "Anyway I'll keep an eye out for anything that happens and you can call me anytime"

"Okay."

"Okay, start packing, I'll book your flight"

Charlie came out of your room and went down the stairs two at a time. He picked up the phone and you heard him speak quickly. You stood up and walked to the mirror, you looked terrible and the bags under your eyes showed how little rest you had had the last few months. You were noticeably thinner and your hair was starting to get greasy. You decided to quit any thoughts of Jacob and concentrate on your trip. You were excited to see your mother's family again, although you were worried about leaving Charlie alone and having him neglect himself by prioritizing his work. You thought about talking to Billy and asking him to take care of your father, however, you gave up. That meant being close to Jacob, smelling his scent and feeling his warm skin and you knew that if that happened you wouldn't have the strength to leave.

No way, Charlie would have to be reasonabl and take care of himself until you returned.

You touched your chest. The pain was still there. You had to be strong. If you had endured that pain for two months, then you could endure it some more, this time adding a few miles to it.

You weren't going to stop for Jacob Black. Not anymore.

Suddenly you thought your mother's will had been the reason to get out of bed and end the sadness. It wasn't worth it. If Jacob preferred Bella then he didn't mind feeling the pain you were now feeling as long as he was still tied to her.

With that thought you went into the shower, ready for the water to wash away the traces of your sorrow.

The truth was that leaving Forks was harder than you tought. You were determined to move on with your life and returning to your mother's hometown seemed like the best thing you could do, but the pain in your chest was a permanent reminder of what you were leaving behind.

The last few hours of the flight were pure hell. The priming pain grew as you got closer to Tennessee and on your road trip the choking sensation was unbearable. Your aunt, who had picked you up at the airport, saw you in bad shape during the drive and you brushed it off by saying that car rides made you dizzy. She guffawed without noticing how your hands clenched trying to keep you conscious.

"Your mother used to get the same way when we went to visit our grandparents' house uptown. She had to take motion sickness pills and bring a paper bag with her. Once he threw up twice before he was halfway there."

"Is it much farther to go?" you asked as you closed your eyes and leaned your head against the back of the seat

"Nah. We took longer than usual because of the traffic, but we'll be home in five minutes"

"Great."

"Charlie's okay?"

"Yeah, Dad's been working a lot, you know"

"When I talked to him he said you've been really down lately, do you want to tell me what happened?" you shook your head. The last thing you wanted was to remember every single thing that hurt you when the pain of the bond was trying to kill you. Your aunt nodded not wanting to push you "Okay, no worries."

"Thanks."

"And what about Bella, what happened to her?"

"She got married"

"Really? Ah, amazing. She's very young, tho"

"And Edward's a weirdo" Your aunt laughed

"You don't seem to like him too much"

"It's not that. It's really not my problem, Bella chose him and I don't want to talk about it. It's just... I don't know, it's annoying."

"Ah, I get it. Jelousy."

"I'm not jealous."

"It's okay, after all it's always been the two of you against the world. That someone else took her away from you..."

"You know Bella and I stopped being close a long time ago" you replied half opening your eyes to look at the window. The house that was your grandparents' could be seen from the rearview mirror "When she came to Forks she changed. It seemed as if Edward had molded her as his wish. I don't like this new Bella."

"I'm sure Bella is still the same innocent, clumsy, good-hearted little girl I knew years ago" your aunt said as she parked in the driveway. She looked at you with a smile and stroked your chin "Just because she had fallen in love doesn't make her a stranger to you. That's what love does, it changes people for better or worse. No one is the same after meeting their soul mate. Someday it will happen to you too, honey, and you'll understand what I'm talking about. Come on, I'll carry your bags."

Your aunt got out of the car, opened the back door and took your few suitcases deftly. You were left alone for a moment thinking about her words. Love had changed Bella, that was a fact, but it had also changed you and that was no sin. Maybe you had been misjudging Bella all this time and Edward was what she needed to be what she really wanted to be and to feel happy. Bella had made it, she was now married to Edward and not even death was going to be able to tear them apart. Edward would have to turn her into a vampire at some point and then you and Charlie would be just a memory.

The thought of that made you sick. Bella would see her parents and you die at some point and that was the price she had to pay for choosing to join her existence to Edward's and you wondered if the pain you felt in your chest was your price to pay for Jacob’s or if this was just a taste of what was in store for you later.

You sighed. Whatever it was you were ready for it.

You got out of the car and walked up the driveway. Everything was just as you remembered it and even the front of the house still had the down marks with which you and Bella had written your names intertwined. The main living room had a more opaque tapestry, but it didn't make much difference from before. The furniture was the same and the stairs were now lined with a plush brown carpet.

You took off your shoes feeling the plushness caress your feet and for the first time in a long time you felt happy. That house brought back many memories and the face of your living mother was one of them. Living in Forks you had forgotten how it felt to be in Tennessee where you had spent the best years of your life. That ended when your mother died and Charlie became so engrossed in his work to forget the pain that you didn't set foot in that house again until that time.

You saw your aunt come down the stairs reaching out her hands to take yours. You were a little cold and the shock of memories had made you sensitive. Your aunt patted your arms.

"Are you all right, little one?"

"Yes. It's been a long time since I've been here."

"Well, after your mother died a lot of things changed. I left this house and your father took you with him to Forks, so there was no one to take over the property til now, I hope" she said, looking at you with a smile. You didn't understand her gesture "The reading of the will is scheduled for today. The notary is already in my father's office, but if you are too tired we can schedule it for another day. There is no rush at all."

"I'm fine," you replied. Suddenly you felt that house filling you with an unfamiliar energy and the presence of the imprinting didn't seem to burn your heart. Your aunt tilded her head, trying to know if you were lying "I can handle a couple more hours awake. Please, let's do it now."

"Okay. Come with me."

You remembered Grandpa's office. It was a huge room filled with pictures and photographs. His mahogany desk was still in the same place as always and his wine bottles were perfectly lined up on the shelf. A huge painting of your mother hung on the right wall. You stopped to look at it and smiled. Your mother was a beautiful woman and you could see how happy she was through her smile. Her hair was down and her eyes were sparkling. That was a good portrait. A very good portrait that made you think you were seeing your mother alive in front of you.

Next to it was a picture of your grandparents with your mother and aunt. They were only children so they had grown up very close to each other. It was sad to think of how your aunt had been left with nothing and you were the only family she had now.

Memories floated back to you in a rush. You walked over to the desk finding a framed sheet of paper. On it was a drawing you and Bella made for him. Your stomach churned. You didn't know your grandfather treasured things like that.

Bella wasn't one of his family, yet they always made her feel welcome. Renee allowed Bella to sleep there and your aunt and Bella's mom were friends. There was always a cordial treatment and that made things more easier. You wished nothing had changed. That your mother and grandparents were still alive and that time had not passed and that Bella and you were still those little girls without fear of the future.

But time was a strange fortune and you knew that perfectly well.

You sat next to your aunt and greeted the notary with a smile. He asked your name, your age and where you lived. You felt uncomfortable for a moment, so your aunt took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze and promised you that everything would be fine. You answered the questions and after the notary asked for your mother’s sister consent to continue, he opened your grandfather's desk and from it took out a sealed yellow folder.

"You may not know who i am, but I’ve been a family friend for so many years and I still remember your face perfectly" he said with a bright smile."You were a little girl back then. Time flies by, doesn't it?"

"It does."

"And now we're here fifteen years later."

"To hear mom's will, I know, my aunt told me."

"Right. Before anything else I want you to know that I was very fond of your mother and I’m sorry to said that i was the person that heard her last wishes before she died. She was a great woman and I promised myself to protect her will and respect her wishes. So, I would like you to listen carefully and ask your questions at the end."

You and your aunt nodded. Your back suddenly tensed and your aunt grabbed your hands under the desk. You were nervous. The notary began to open the envelope and you thought some kind of surprise would come out of it and explode in your face.

The man pulled out a single white sheet of paper and against the light you saw your mother's beautiful handwriting. Your eyes stung. You wanted to cry.

The notary read the paper with his galsses down. The first words were an affectionate greeting your mother had left for you, followed by a very long paragraph where she said how lucky she was to have you and how happy you made her. Without realizing it, the tears came out and soaked your cheeks. The man continued and when the will entered the estate section he paused for a whole minute.

"Charlie is a good father, he'll do anything to protect you and himself, but god knows that man is so clueless that he'll end up living in the police station at some point. I don't doubt about his abilities to take care of you, not at all! but I wish once in a while you and him and Bella could get away from the everyday a little bit, you know, maybe a vacation would be good for you! and this house is just right for it. With your grandparent’s death this house wasn't the same anymore, it doesn't make sense that a place full of memories get wasted like that, so first of all I would like you to have it, Y/N. Take it it’s yours"

You wiped your tears and looked at your aunt. She looked at you and stroked your hair.

"I always knew your mother would do something like this."

"But she can't, can she? Bequeath something that isn't hers."

"What do you mean?"

"This isn’t right" you replied "She can't do something like that. This house is yours too, I couldn't take it"

"Why not? You heard what your mother thought about it and I agree with her. When my parents died this place lost meaning. Your mother died too and I was left with no reason to be here. The pain of memories was stronger than me and I couldn't deal with it. This house is your grandparents' inheritance to your mother and me, half of everything is mine, but I'm willing to give that up if you accept your mother's last will"

"I couldn't" You refused "Dispossess yourself of your house..."

"For God's sake, don't put words in my mouth that I haven't said" she let out a laugh "You're not dispossessing me of anything. I am the one who is handing you what i have. It was your mother's wish and now it is mine."

"If that’s so then I will need your signature here" the notary said to your aunt. She nodded and without another word she accepted the pen he extended to her. You noticed that the man was handing her a sort of contract where she was donating her part of the house to you without any interest in between. Your eyes glistened with tears. It seemed as if your mother had planned that from the beginning knowing that at some point your broken heart would need time alone to put its pieces back together.

The notary sealed the contract and continued reading.

"Finally, I want you to know that it was never my will to leave you. If life could grant me a wish that would be to be by your side forever, to see you grow and have your own family, however I know that that will not be possible. I won't be with you to share everything I planned when I knew I was expecting you, but I know that Charlie will, and with Bella you’ll be happy. I love you, little one. Being your mother was the best thing that could have happened to me. Forever and always. Mom. Well, that was it" You sobbed one last time feeling your aunt's hands squeezing yours "As you know it has been fifteen years and it was time for the will to be opened. Your presence was very important and I appreciate you coming."

"This...all of this...is very confusing."

"Why?"

"This house would have to be yours" you told her. Your aunt smiled "I... Dad knew, didn't he?, that's why he insisted me to come?"

"There was no way for any of us to know, but we sensed it. Your mother loved this place and she also knew that the memories of what was here would destroy me. But not you, not her brave little girl."

"It's... great. Really great. I don't know... what should I do?"

"What about... to move here?"

"What?"

Your voice sounded louder than you expected and they both looked at you in surprise. You cringed in embarrassment, shrank back in your seat and waited for one of them to respond. The notary felt the tension between you two, he apologized and then he left. Your aunt sighed

"Wouldn't you like to?"

"It's not that. I... What about Forks?"

"What about it?"

"How could I leave? The people I love are there. My friends, my school, my father."

"Honey, you're about to start college and there are some very good schools here where you could start from scratch. Charlie will be fine on his own, he's a grown man and can take care of himself. friends? honey, I've been in contact with your father for month, do you think he didn't tell me the way you ditched your friends and locked yourself in your room?" You shrugged your shoulders

"I don't want to left Charlie."

"He'll understand."

"He'll be alone."

"Baby, I know it's not Charlie you're worried about. That Jacob guy...do you love him?"

You looked at your aunt. Surely your father had told her everything and the two of them had planned to get you out of Forks as soon as possible. Your situation with Jacob was getting worse every day and Charlie was beyond tired

Thinking about Jacob brought back the pain of the bond. You needed to be with him, to feel his warmth and hold him til you forgot the hurt you had done to each other, however, that was no longer an option and moving to Tennessee was the perfect opportunity to leave the wounds of a hellish love in the past.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Whatever happened between us...it was a mistake. He never loved me and I held onto him as long as I could. It was a mistake. You're right, it's better for me to stay, to rebuild my life here."

“are you sure?”

“I am”

Your aunt hugged you.

"Will you be okay?"

For a second fear filled your chest. No, you weren't going to be okay. At some point the bond would become so strained that it would end up killing you, but you were willing to take the risk. You were no longer going to give in for Jacob Black. He was left in the past with Forks and that's where he was going to stay.

That night your aunt made a nice dinner and you saw old pictures together. Remembrance were heavy and made you melancholy, though remembering the old days where your life seemed to be easier comforted you wonderfully. Your aunt talked and talked through dinner and when the clock on the dining room wall struck one o'clock in the morning she let you go to your room.

Your bags were already there. That room was the one you and Bella shared every time you visited your grandparents' house and it hadn't changed at all. You didn't bother to turn on the lights,so yout lay down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling that was lit by the phosphorescent stars that Bella had hung up long ago.

You were worried about Charlie, you didn't want to leave him alone and you didn't want to abandon the pack either. Jacob was a complete jerk, but the rest of the boys were your friends and you loved them. Your heart couldn't handle being away from your friends, but it wasn't going to handle having Jacob so close after what had happened either.

You closed your eyes tightly. Maybe begin again was for the best. For you, for Jacob, for everyone.

Your stomach churned. You were afraid, was that what you really needed to end the pain or would you just put it off as long as you could?

"Y/N, Charlie's on the phone!" your aunt announced from the second floor. You rolled over on the bed and grabbed the phone from the stool, put it against your ear and listened to your father's breathing on the other end

"Hi, dad."

"Hi, little one, how are you?"

"Fine, is something wrong?"

"Oh, no, no. I was just... calling cause I wanted to know how your flight was. I waited for you to do it but apparently you didn't have much time."

"I'm sorry" you whispered "I forgot."

"It's okayt."

"Dad" You interrupted him. You looked up at the ceiling again. Charlie cleared his throat "You planned this didn't you, you and my aunt?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You guys knew what Mom had put in her will."

"Something like that."

"And that's why you asked me to come."

"It was what your mother wanted."

"Dad..."

"Your mother and I talked about it a long time ago. When your grandparents died the house would be left alone and your aunt would close it. You moving there seemed like the best option for you. I wasn't going to let you repeat Bella's story. Suffering for a boy, changing for him and believing you can't live without him around”

"You should have told me the truth, that you wanted to get rid of me when i asked you."

"It wasn't easy for me to let go of my little girl so her heart could heal."

"What about you, are you going to stay alone in Forks?"

"Of course, I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, sure."

"At least i’ll try."

You both laughed and Charlie sighed into the speaker.

"I love you, (Y/N) "

"I love you, Dad."

You chatted for a while til Charlie realized it was too late for you to be awake so he said goodbye, asking you to take care of yourself and try to pick up where you left off. He hung up shortly after although the phone rang again immediately.

"Dad, I was just about to go to sleep, what-?"

"It's me" Your breath stopped as you heard Jacob's voice like a whisper. Your heart raced and the pain in your chest that you had been trying to suppress all day hit you hard. Your hands shook and suddenly everything seemed to spin "Please don't hang up, talk to me."

"How... how did you get this number?"

"It doesn’t matter."

"It does for me. Charlie gave it to you?"

"He would never do that. Not after what happened."

"So it was Billy, wasn’t he?"

Jacob fell silent, but you knew you'd hit the nail on the head.

"He saw the number in Charlie's address book while he was at your home."

You bit your lips avoiding saying anything about it. You loved Billy, but he had crossed the line. You understood why he did it, Billy kept believing that time would change his son so he could love you, yet you knew that wasn't possible and the only thing time would do would be to help you both deal with the pain.

Jacob sighed.

"Please don't blame him, dad just wanted to help."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"can we just... talk? no fights, no screams, just talk" .

"About what?"

Jacob thought hard, so hard, that he was silent for about five minutes just listening to the sound of your breathing. That didn't make sense, but you still refused to hang up and Jacob did the same. You bit your lips and your eyes stung when you heard him say:

"I miss you."

A sarcastic laugh came out of your mouth.

"How long were you rehearsing that in front of the mirror?"

"What?"

"It was hard for you to say, wasn't it?, Damn, you really must be rotten on pain that you preferred to settle for the imprint you got and keep the bond from killing you."

"That's not what this is about."

"Then what is it about?"

"It's been a while... I thought we could talk, try again, for real this time."

"My attempts were always real, Jacob. I don't know what you were doing all this time but I gave you more than you deserved."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"And now that I'm gone... now that I'm gone you feel the strain of the bond and that has forced you to seek relief anywhere. I can feel your pain, the latent despair burning your chest and trying to kill you every second of the day. I know, I feel it right now, but you know what, screw that, Jacob. I hate this, i hate you. It’s a nightmare. Imprinting isn't finding your soul mate, it's a curse . It's a disease that eats away at you and being with the person you've imprinted on is like medicine: you don't want to take it, it makes you sick and turns your stomach but you need it to feel good and there's nothing else in the world that gives you that same relief as what's tailor-made. I'm sick of it and I'm not willing to go back to that."

"What do you mean?"

"I left Forks and i'm not going back."

"What?, You can’t be serious!"

"I'm dead serious."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to. That's how leaving works, isn't it?, you go away and leave everything behind, including people. That's what you did. Now I'm doing the same thing."

"What will happen to us-our bond?"

Your throat closed up. You hated feeling so vulnerable

"Break it."

"No way. The pain would eventually kill you."

"I'm ready for that. I'll resist."

"I'm not going to do it."

"Would you rather if i do it?"

"I love you" he said and your lips parted "I realized it in the time we've been apart. I think I always have and I didn't know it until I couldn't feel your presence anymore. I was confused and didn't know what to do. Now I know and I want to make amends for my mistakes, starting with being honest with you. The imprinting doesn't speak for me, this is my soul calling for you, can you believe me?"

You sighed.

"I'm hanging up."

"Tell me what you need and I'll do it" He pleaded in a whisper. You imagined him resting his head against the kitchen wall. He was desperate and your heart wanted to give in to him.

Nothing was going to change, it was too late. You loved him, but you couldn't wait for him anymore. Life would get out of your hands and you were not willing to tolerate an intermittent love.

Yet he seemed honest. You'd never seen him talk like that or plead like that before. Jacob must’ve been really desperate to call and ask for another chance. Either way it was all done and now it was thousands of miles between you two. You weren't coming back and if Jacob really wanted to redeem himself then he would have to endure the pain he once put you through.

Your hands pressed against the phone. The clock struck quarter past three in the morning.

"Time" you said and hung up the call.

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s-brant · 3 years

Text

Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

#jj maybank #jj maybank smut #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #obx #fanfiction #obx s2 #uh oh trouble in paradise #anyway that smut #kinda wanna get railed by JJ in the back of the van #don’t we all?

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