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#my one coworker i am out as trans to
arsonforcharlie · 1 year
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happy nice lil gay guy gets a special treat to match his shirt day, hope you're all celebrating in whatever way you're accustomed
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exhaustedwerewolf · 6 months
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hr guy was screaming crying throwing up when I told him I wouldn’t be at the evening part of the xmas social because the date changed and I have a life outside of work and now he sends round the details for the unavoidable lunch part and despite me giving him my dietary requirements well in advance on his request there is simply nothing I can eat. like even ditching the vegetarianism I am allergic to everything on this menu.
#wwolf.txt#also like man I don’t drink and I hate people and I have a fatigue disorder. spending a Tuesday night watching my horrifically drunk#colleagues scream-singing to bandoke makes me want to die and that’s only barely hyperbole.#like. this guy really grinds my gears because he’s so AGGRESSIVELY nice it circles right back around into being super counterproductive and#irritating.#like when I started I saw pronouns were optional on our HR profiles- so I didn’t include mine because I didn’t know if other people would#and I didn’t want to put myself at work by being the only one to do it. I didn’t know the vibe. DAY ONE he’s like ‘it’s optional but 🔫 PUT#IN YOUR PRONOUNS WE ARE TRANS INCLUSIVE 🔫’ like you actually have a trans employee and you are speaking to him and you are also directly#stressing him out by doing this :)#and then recently he was coming to my office and was like ‘let me bring you something!’ and I’m sitting here like. one I am uncomfy with you#spending money on me and two. I have Severe allergic reactions and I don’t know or trust you. and three I brought lunch today because I’m#broke. so I’m really fine. and me being like ‘thank you for the offer but I’m okay!’ just led to back and forth and back and forth and#‘[insert coworker name here] never refuses my offers’ like…#ugh. he just drives me up to wall.#oh and don’t call him HR because Humans aren’t a ‘resource’ he’s in ‘people’#🙄🙄🙄
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custer-mp3 · 1 year
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just remembered i have to go to a birthday party after close tomorrow
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bunnyb34r · 1 year
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What's funny is that given the chance to go to like anime cons, I will GLADLY jump on the opportunity (as long as it's one day), but god forbid a friend spontaneously wants to go catch a movie
And at cons (when I used to go) I'm very extroverted and like a golden retriever I wanna meet and befriend EVERYBODY! but I wont go to family partys or work friends get togethers
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majoringinsarcasm · 2 months
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Crying. About. Politics.
I try not to think too hard about anything otherwise I’ll lose my mind. And this is not a hopeless post. This is just me saying. I feel like. A lot of people are gonna vote for Trump. From your hardcore republicans to truly normal people who are like well Biden was bad we can survive Trump again. And I think about the policies and laws and regulations that have been Good that aren’t in the big news. And I think about how RIGHT NOW states are banning books and sex ed and queer people just living period. And I think about how if the state of things is this bad Now? What’s it gonna be like under a presidenr who Actively agrees with or will go along with this shit for votes.
“We survived Trump” says the people who are still here. “We can survive another four years” says the people who won’t be pushed to maybe not stick around for that long.
#big sigh#also idk how to tell ppl that ONE the genocide on Gaza should not LAST ANOTHER FUCKING YEAR#that is not what this is talking about#but the man who wanted Mexico to pay for a wall to keep them out of the US AND MEANT IT#I don’t think he would be rallying to save Gaza yall like#am I happy about our system no am I angry at ALL branches that have hindered a ceasefire yes#but you can’t tell me that Trump would care#this is not a ‘pass’ for Biden but a reminder that ppl in congress NOW were brought in back then#and that checks and balances can help and also hinder#there are many red states right now bc ppl either don’t care or they genuinely think it’ll help them#I don’t think I could come out to my coworkers in a way that would be meaningful despite them liking me already#I cannot explain to them why I don’t bind or don’t LOOK TRANS#or worse id be seen as the Acceptable trans bc I Keep It To Myself and go by she her and ma’am#even tho my team lead who I love referred to me as a woman and it upset me more than I thought it would#I’ve been so resigned to cosplaying as cis in public that she her was just a thing I lived with and thought I was ok with#but it turns out not so much#which is great for affirming that I’m not faking it after a decade of self reflection but bad for every other reason#idk it’s not good times so many people are dead when they shouldn’t be and too many people#are FINE with it under the name of stopping terror#but talk to them about domestic terror and they’ll have no idea what you’re talking about#it’s fucking awful awful awful
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be-good-to-bugs · 3 months
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yeah ok having my pronouns respectfully feels pretty fuckin good
#the bin#ive been really fed up with everyone i know using exclusively she/her so i changed my nametag to say just say he/him insteds of he/she#i usually dont even wear my nametag bc it always getd wet and it just smudges but im supposed to so im just gonna redraw it everytime before#i leave for my next shift. it doesnt bother me from my coworkers bc like. they dont know. but everyone else in my life never used he him for#me. today was the first day i wore a he/him nametag and both my coworkers i was working with like. apologized to me if they offended me by#calling me girl and stuff and. idk. its just nice that they noticed and cared. i wasnt expecting anybody to notice at all really#and i told them that they can still use she/her f9r me but i prefer for people to use both. idk. i hate being seen as JUST a girl.#im a boy too. its not about what im not. its not about what pronouns make me unhappy. its about what i am and what does make me happy#i knew the one coworker wpuld be chill abt it bc she has a trans kid who shes supportive of but the other one i wasnt sure#i heard her make some comment abt they them pronous referring to a specific person but it was cleatly petsonal business so like#it seemed kinda transphobic but i dont have any of the context snd she seemed really chill before that so i figured it just sounded bad#out of context and i was right so thats reassuring.#i dont have gender dysphoria but it still fuckibg hurts when people refuse to respect who i am. i wanna tell people im a boy and a girl and#they respect and believe me when i say it. i do have some people in my life who do but they always default to girl me#and like. i know i look super feminine and i dress super feminine. plus i am still a girl. but the boy part of me is just as important#most of the time im actually presenting the boy side of myself. the boy inside me oikes to wear frilly clothes and the girl inside me wants#to become a shadow. but people look at me and ofc think girl.#idk. its beens hard to get the people i know to actually care and respect my gender and everything bc i havent like changed my name#and i dont present any differently and i still use she her in addition to he him. so they think the additons im asking them to respect arent#important. if some of the time its exactly the same as before then thats fine. but literally never ever referring to me as a boy and with#he him pronouns is bad. just bc she her and being a girl dont make me feel bad abt myslef doesnt mean you dont have to also acknowledge#the he him boy parts of me. like. dont a deserve that basic respect? idk.#i mostly changed my nametag to jsut make myslef feel a bit better. like at least something refers to me that way. something sees me as a boy#even if its just my nametag i wrote myself#but it was definitely worth it
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tony-andonuts · 3 months
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Starting a new arc at work where instead of saying Im alright Ill say something based
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isaacthedruid · 10 months
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(spoilers for the Barbie movie)
As a trans-masc non-binary person, I saw myself in Allan. I’m a boy but not a Ken, I'm Ken-like but not quite.
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Allan’s role of being awkward, unsure and a little out of his element but still trying to help the Barbies through the chaos and events caused by the Kens, is how I feel as a trans-masc person who is still trying to advocate for women and discuss the issues they face.
I don't identify as a woman anymore but I still grew up as a girl, I lived as a young woman for 14 years, and people continue to be misogynistic towards me when they think I am one-- customers will talk to my male coworkers instead of me, when I’m the person with the answers
I wasn’t expecting to see myself, in terms of gender, in the character often described as Ken’s boyfriend, though it is said in a more playful, joking way rather than any attempt at representation. I’m gay and this version of Allan is definitely queer as well. Yet, that’s a separate story which has already been written, here’s an excellent article about that. [LINK]
Allan isn’t Ken, and he isn’t Barbie either. Allan is simply Allan, an idea with both masc and femme traits. He doesn’t fit into anything specific, he just is. Allan can wear Ken’s clothes but also Barbie’s pink jumpsuit-- but when he's not doing that undercover mission with the Barbies, we only ever see him wearing his own clothes. A set of clothes worn only by him, that iconic striped outfit that is signature to the real Allan doll.
Additionally, notice the horse patch on the front of his shirt, he never changed his clothes unlike the rest of the Kens when they discovered the patriarchy and a new version of masculinity, a toxic and destructive one. Allan only added something to his clothes to “fit in” or act as if he did, but he hated what the Kens did to Barbieland. He also wasn't brainwashed and never acted upon those destructive abilities that were laid out for him. He could've just joined the Kens and broke stuff and drank copious amounts of "brewskis" but he didn't.
Allan is different and it's constantly stated, "there's only one Allan" in this world of Kens (and Barbies).
I will never be Ken nor will I ever be a Barbie again, I’m not happy in either. I’ve tried both, neither is my style (or title). I wear Ken’s clothes as well as Barbie’s, and sometimes I wear Allan’s.
But, I like Allan’s clothes best, they fit me well.
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mr-ribbit · 3 months
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gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.
i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.
to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community
to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.
so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue
"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"
I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.
"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"
I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.
there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?
there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic
also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.
"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"
they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?
also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????
and another thing:
it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?
focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.
especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.
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You are allowed to be trans even if you're poor or live in a red state.
No one can stop you.
Yeah, there's twice/four times a year checkups but Estro and spiro are only like 30 bucks a month.
Yeah, sometimes I have to skip for a little while to wait for my next paycheck to afford it but here I am, openly trans and working at a sonic.
Yeah, sometimes I encounter a shitbag coworker, but I'm still here, they can't do shit about it.
Hell I live and work in mississippi and most my coworkers are aware I'm trans and still respect me regardless.
Yeah, I face discrimination, I've been fired at one place when they found out I was transitioning.
That doesn't stop me. I'm out, I go all around town in a jacket with pins that openly state that I am trans and when people express their disgust towards me I tell them that if they don't like seeing me they can either do something about me themselves or they can pluck their eyes out. I'M STILL HERE.
I'll keep being here, and I'll keep showing the closeted people it's okay to be who you are, and I won't stop doing it until someone does something about me themselves.
I refuse to hide just because I'm poor and you don't have to either.
You don't have to be as openly antagonistic towards bigots the way I am but you don't have to hide who you are just because you're poor. You deserve to live a life where you love who and what you are and to hell with anyone saying you're too young or too poor or too old or any of that ignorant shit.
Be you, burn the bigots, burn the rich, and love and help build up the community around you.
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transmascissues · 5 months
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hi tiffany. you're such a feminine woman lol.
this shit is so funny to me because absolutely no one who has actually seen me irl would call me “such a feminine” anything.
i had a patient at work greet me and a few of my coworkers (all cis women) by saying “hey pretty ladies…and…you’re a girl, right?” with the last part directed at me. i’m so aggressively non-feminine by traditional standards that even the people who assume i’m a woman cannot in good conscience include me in “pretty ladies”. if anything, the way i present myself is so ambiguous that you can almost see people flip a coin in their head when they meet me to decide what gender they think i am, and i’ve been existing in that androgynous space for so long that when i initially came out to my dad as agender 8 years ago, he basically just said “yeah, that makes sense, you never did like all the girly stuff.” so you’re just wrong, and you’d be wrong even if i was a woman because i would absolutely not be a feminine one.
and honestly, the fact that you assume i’m super feminine just because you see me as a woman is just misogyny wrapped in a layer of transphobia to justify it. experience tells me that you’re the kind of person who also goes around telling trans men&mascs that we “can just be masculine women”, so which is it? can we be masculine and still be women, or is anyone you see as a woman automatically such a feminine one? are your ideas about gender really so regressive that you think you can tell whether or not someone is feminine simply by finding out what genitals they were born with? because i thought we could all at least agree that masculinity isn’t something exclusive to one kind of body.
either way, i know your goal was to upset me, to push me a little closer to detransitioning or killing myself or just living in self-hatred and misery, and you failed at that much. i’m not offended by being called a feminine woman because that’s not a bad thing to be, you’re just wrong and i think you’re an asshole for doing it with the obvious intention of hurting me. you’re only making yourself look bad.
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celestialcrowley · 5 months
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My mom and I were finally able to watch the final episode of Good Omens season 2.
Before we dive in, my mom is very — how do I say this — anti on certain things. My friend said it perfectly. He said she gave him the homophobic put the fear of God type vibes when he first met her.
I don’t believe anything will ever fully change her opinions or views of us. I’ve not even referred to myself as aromantic / asexual in her presence, and I doubt I ever will. I simply tell her I’m done dating. It’s clearly not in my future, and, after trying it a couple of times, it just isn’t something I’m interested in.
I hope that one day she will open her eyes and realize that it’s all fine. Whatever we are. It’s okay.
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My mom enjoyed season one. When I asked her what she thought of Aziraphale and Crowley, here’s what she said. Not her exact words but close enough to what I can remember.
“Aziraphale seems like he’s afraid of getting into trouble with Heaven, but not enough to keep him from going against God’s orders.”
Just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.
“Crowley isn’t as evil as he paints himself to be.”
Just a little bit a good person.
The only thing, as far as I’m aware, that didn’t quite sit right with my mom is that God is a She.
Wibbly wobbly timey wimey…
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I was terrified for her to watch the second season because of Maggie and Nina and That Big Damn Kiss. She’s told me some less than desirable things previously. Here are a handful of them.
“I won’t watch shows that have gay couples in them.”
“I will watch them, but I’ll just turn my head away when they kiss.”
About my friend who is a lesbian —
“Your friend just says that, but she doesn’t actually know what she is.”
Okay, mom. You go ahead and keep telling yourself that.
I am certain, despite my fear, that I wanted her to watch Good Omens so badly because I thought maybe it would be the golden ticket. It’s uniquely different.
We have been gifted with Anthony J’I’m Not Actually Either Crowley and Mister AZ Smitten I Believe Fell, The Almighty God She, Nina I’m Not Your Type and Maggie You Have No Idea.
I was expecting my mom to frown upon Maggie and Nina’s story in season two, but she didn’t. She actually didn’t even have anything negative to say.
Y’all should have seen me when That Big Damn Kiss was coming up. I was fidgeting probably as bad as Aziraphale was when he was gathering up the courage to ask Crowley to dance with him.
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I don’t think I’ve ever fidgeted that much in my life.
And then it happened.
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That Big Damn Kiss
And she watched all of it. She didn’t look away. She didn’t make a face. She didn’t say anything negative.
I don’t necessarily think her views have changed because she laughed at something my uncle told her about a former coworker of his. This coworker used to go by Craig, but he later came out as trans and asked to be called Cindy. My uncle said, “The best we can do is Crindy.”
Most of my family are homophobic, and I don’t care for it.
I don’t know if it’s the way Neil Gaiman has written Good Omens, but I was surprised that she watched the entire show, had nothing negative to say and even added that she needs to watch all of both seasons again to better understand it.
That’s something, I suppose.
Maybe she’s coming around.
Thank you, Neil Gaiman.
You truly are a legend. 💚
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sapphixxx · 2 months
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Honestly been really drawn to crossdressing romance manga the last few years. The fact there is such a focus on passing, anxiety over what the other partner might think or feel, the satisfaction of presenting in ways that feel good, the joy of being loved and desired in different forms, and the generally kind of weird funny fluid nature of gender and attraction all feel very relatable to me in ways that Yuri, and even Western lesbian and trans comics don't always reflect. "Is this gay or straight? Am I gay for this? Are *they* gay for this? Whatever is going on here it's not *not* gay and either way I'm committed" is a pretty unique mix of emotions familiar to my bi trans experience after all lol. Unfortunately most of them range from merely sucking to nuclear weapons grade hateful, so it's pretty rare to find a good one.
These pages really made me happy though. These two don't really get along as coworkers, but are immediately head over heels goofy eyed when encountering each other having genders in their off time (at this point neither recognizes the other or knows their gender). Cause like, I've had that experience SO many times where someone got under my skin, and then years later we run into each other after figuring some shit out and suddenly we're like irresistibly magnetized.
(Note: The term Lolita used here refers specifically to the style of fashion, and has no sexual connotations)
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A lot of these manga are written in a very "That's Really a Guy!?!?!?!?!?" frame, but a surprising number even among the shitty ones don't seem to really ascribe much in the way of that like, meaning a whole lot. That's Really A Guy?? But she has effectively completely socially transitioned and is known, loved, and desired as a woman, I dunno, feels pretty trans to me, complete with the scrutiny, misgendering, and gags at her expense that I've known in my life. Being Really A Guy seems to lose very much meaning in that instance. Which is comforting to me as someone who works a public facing role and constantly gets gendered and perceived in weird ways that don't match who I am.
Are these intended to be read so charitably? I don't know, and I also don't really care. That hasn't stopped us from reading transness in Lain or Evangelion, or reading Dungeon Meshi as a lesbian love story has it?
#op
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AITA for reiterating something to a coworker in order to shame them into not talking to me about their religious beliefs?
some context: me (26NB) and this new coworker (25M) got along great at first. he was queer, into the same things as me, and we had a similar sense of humor. i was pretty glad to have him around to talk to during shifts.
one day, we both were talking about previous jobs we’d had and funny stories from them. i mentioned to him i had worked at a place similar to the current one and had met the first coworker who i openly did not get along with…
this other coworker (28NB) who i will call M had been fun to talk to at first but as i got to know them i started to get uncomfortable. M was pagan, basically eclectic pagan but he didn’t know the term, his patrons being Loki and Lucifer. he was talkative about his beliefs and witchcraft with fellow coworkers, all besides us were catholic women over age 50.
i am a celtic pagan, so of course he found this out and talked to me about it constantly. i told him my beliefs are kind of a personal thing for me, that i’m fairly private about them. M would still push for answers or get confused when i didn’t want to talk about it.
there were other reasons i didn’t like M. he was dating a 21 year old who he had been with for 4 years apparently (you can do the math) and the two of them were hiding their relationship from M’s legal husband. his legal husband had no clue that M was trans and gay. M also believed very much in tulpas and said he was a system (aka someone with DID/OSDD) because he spiritually felt presences within himself. all of these things he told me freely while we were on shifts together.
i told my new coworker friend all this, in an off-handed way as an anecdote. he stuck on the pagan part and said paganism was definitely a private thing. he told me he was pagan. i was actually glad to know this because i had heard him mention bible verses and wrongly assumed his religious beliefs. as he continued, i found out he was also likely an eclectic pagan. patrons being Loki, Cernunnos, Hermes, and others. he said he tied a lot of his past christian beliefs into it and wished Jesus could be a patron. tbh i don’t understand eclectic pagans, but it’s not my business and i didn’t want to be rude so i politely listened. however, he spent the next 2 hours of our referencing Cernunnos (i said i was celtic pagan) and paganism. he even asked me questions like M did.
when we were near the end of our shift, he asked where my alter was which let me joke about what i said at the beginning where i felt that M was annoying and asked me about my pagan beliefs too much. he got a little deflated at that but didn’t say anything about it. i felt a little bad about it, but we parted ways to clock out and i was kinda glad i didn’t feel like i was around M the sequel anymore.
however, on our next shift he didn’t really talk to me at all and made a point to ignore me when i saw him on my day off.
i know it hurt his feelings that i joked about it but he definitely overstepped a boundary i had told him about before so… AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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rott1ngbra1n · 28 days
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First off! I wanna go ahead and drop some fun art stuff I’ve been doing as I’ve been watching Dragons Rising season 2, which I’ve been loving!
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I did a version of Arin before but it wasn’t my favorite so a redo! More AlleyCat stuff and obligatory Cole, because I love him.
I do have more Ninjago Art I want to do (Still need to finish that Cole and Morro friend piece-) and I have some other fandom art I also want to do, but I’ll explain more under the cut as well as why I’ve been gone or a bit less active everywhere. This is optional you do not have to read under the cut!
TW// Transphobia
For those unaware I am a trans man, I go by a different name: both online and IRL (online for privacy’s sake), I also work as a barista due to being a college student and needing to save money for moving away from my own transphobic parents. That’s a whole other story. But at work there was a coworker of mine who was consistently transphobic towards me whenever we worked together. It had been going on since June of last year (The irony of it starting during pride month made me and my friends laugh) but it escalated after I returned from New York, so much so I had to go to management.
Myself. Management had been informed by my best friend (who also works with me) about it and was told it was “gossip”. Ok. Sure- So I informed management of the new incidents and was told I had options, the first being to have a meeting with me, the transphobe, and my manager to discuss the issues. I said no so my manager went to the DM to find another solution. To give even more context, the transphobe couldn’t even be transphobic to my face most times it was always told behind my back to my best friend.
That’s how I knew my manager talked to the transphobe one on one, cause the transphobe right after the meeting went to said best friend. Telling her “not to tell me as she didn’t want to start drama” Cool, I feel so cool. I was very mad, went back to my manager with it, had that meeting with myself, the transphobe, and manager. Where my emotions were downplayed and the transphobe said she had “never interacted with a trans person before and didn’t know what she said was wrong.” OK.
SURE.
After that we assumed it was over, my manager made an incident report, but it didn’t stop the transphobe still kept talking behind my back to others. Despite me talking respectfully of her. More context all the talking behind my back happened at work while on the clock. After a while I just went about my day, then Ethics and Compliance called. They spoke to everyone involved, including me and I relayed more about my testimony. They said they would be investigating and I assumed it would take a while, then finally. I was informed that the transphobe was in fact fired.
This whole situation, along with other personal stuff going on with me, caused so much stress. To the point I tended to fallback into habits I had thought I fixed, mainly regarding my physical health. Even at points hating myself for just existing and having been born wrong.
I’m thankfully doing so much better now and have recently gotten diagnosed with Autism, something I knew I had but didn’t fully understand for a while. I’ve been getting better existing in a world knowing the people that are my blood hate me, knowing that eventually, I will never be able to be loved by my parents or sister. I have friends and coworkers who support me and I want to support other people in this community.
With that said I’m back to making more art! I’m building a portfolio for animation and to intern next year, I also will be trying to post more animations to here when I finish them! I also will still be active in the Ninjago fandom, I’ve loved this show since it came out in 2011 y’all can pry it from my cold dead hands-
But I do want to make more original work, I want to do more Star Wars work, QSMP art and animations, and more Musical Theater art whether it be Broadway or Indie productions. I hope people enjoy what I make, especially some of my original characters as I’ve gotten to work on Cybernetic more thanks to my animation class. You’ll see more of it as we go!
Thank you if you’ve read this and thank you for supporting me!
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blossomthepinkbunny · 2 months
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Poor rendition of queer characters in HH and HB
Here I am again talking about queer representation in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, this time just more generally. Because it's always a little weird to me when people claim HH/HB to have good queer representation, when in actuality most of the queer characters are either just blatant stereotypes or get mishandled somehow. And with Helluva Boss recently winning the Queertys - Web series reward I think that this is probably a pretty good time to acknowledge that kind of stuff (as people have done before).
TW: Sexual assault, R@pe (when referring to the actions of characters)
Blitzø (Pansexual): is very sexual and seen on screen multiple times either having sex or just having had sex. Pretty much fits the general stereotype of queer men always being sexual and also the stereotype of pansexuals just sleeping with everybody. Like, he literally screwed the mutual Ex of his coworkers even though he knew how much that guy hurt them.
Stolas (Gay): also mostly sexual (from how he was introduced) and he is in a pretty terrible "relationship" with Blitzø, which includes coercion, SA, Power dynamics and fetishization. Another very sex-driven queer man. Also just great proof for the people assuming that queer relationships are inherently predatory, unhealthy and never work out.
Moxxie (Bisexual): is often forced into a very feminine role because even in relationships with women, queer men always have to be pointed out to be feminine and putting a guy in a dress is funny I guess.
Fizzarolli & Asmodeus (Queer): they're actually better than a lot of the other characters here but there is still some of that uneven power dynamic going on with them and there are obvious issues with their relationship. Overall they aren't too bad though. They didn't get that much sexual focus and what they got is kinda warranted since Ozzie is the Lust demon. But there is that one scene with Fizz stepping out of his car with Dildo confetti canons (I think) and that was sorta weird, since in an episode before that they presented Crimson as being homophobic and stereotypical for assuming queer men are all obsessed with dicks. Which is just interesting because thats most of the queer men in Vivzepops stories.
Chaz (Queer): just a sexually abusive asshole because we definitely needed more predatory queer men in this show.
Sally May (Trans mtf): basically the single recognized trans character in both shows and she only had one line. After that they made fan merch for her which consisted of her in a bikini with her bulge being drawn pretty visibly (multiple times). Of course there's nothing wrong with Trans people who don't have surgery but it's just a tiny bit weird to me that fanservice merchandise is what she got reduced to, when something like that wasn't even the joke of the only line she had in the show and because she hasn't recieved any kind of focus after that.
Angel Dust (Gay): now there is a lot of stuff that could be said about Angel. On one hand he is another very sexual gay man whose screentime often just consists of sex jokes and references. On the other hand that's a big point for his character. How he tries to act confident in his sexuality when in reality it's the main source of his problems. Though he does often harass other men in the show and that's just so unnecessary. Talking about Angel mostly leads into discussing if he is good representation for SA victims or not, which is something I don't want to talk about that much because I feel like it's not my place to judge that as someone who never has experienced SA. I'm gonna say that I do find Viv's treatment of him outside of the show insensitive (with the pro-shipping, diminishing Valentino as an Abuser and general sexualization of the characters) but as far as the portrayal of him in the show goes I've heard different opinions and you should read the discussion's of actual r@pe survivors about this topic if you want to know about more about it.
Husk (Queer): I don't have anything to say about Husk. He is a very refreshing queer man in these show's and there is nothing bad about him I could think of right now.
Valentino (Queer): for him I mostly want to talk about how he is treated outside of the show which doesn't sit right with me. He is a villian in HH so it's understandable that he is gonna do effed up stuff. I also like that the show tries to make a point about how men get sexually assaulted too (wether they succeeded in that inside the show I'm not gonna judge too hard like I said). But there are a lot of people who not only sexualize him, but also his actions and his relationship to Angel and from what I know Viv never really spoke out against that. She actually interacts with people who do that stuff and I it's just kinda gross.
Vox (Queer): I also don't have a lot to say about him. He and Val are a couple so he is dating a r@pist but he is also a villain so you can't really expect more from him. Especially since he would still be interacting with a r@pist even if they weren't dating.
Alastor (Aromantic, Asexual): is obviously not interested in relationships or sex but his identity is pretty much ignored by a huge amount of the fandom. Vivzepop never say's anything about people blatantly invalidating him like that. It seems to me like she doesn't care about characters who can't be involved in shipping but still wanted to have more diversity in her show so she just called him AroAce. In Hazbin Hotel he isn't bad representation though. His sexuality is never the focus but thats fine, it's mostly just the treatment he gets outside of HH which I don't like.
Charlie (Bisexual): doesn't have a lot to her sexuality. This is something I talked about pretty lengthy in my other post, specifically about the lack of Sapphic content in both shows, so I won't go into too much detail here. Her relationship with Vaggie would probably be the best in both shows if it wasn't for the fact that they both never get the real spotlight as a couple. And there is that thing in Vivzepops stories where the women are pretty much sexless without men and that's obviously something that is generally an issue when talking about the lack of Sapphic representation (which is also a topic heavily tied to sexism). Charlie's portrayal isn't necessarily stereotypical but that's just because there is nothing to her identity in the show.
Vaggie (Lesbian): like I said I already talked about the Chaggie relationship so now I wanna focus on something I didn't even mention in that post. Her name literally being Vagina and that's apparently funny because she is a Lesbian so she obviously likes Vagina. That's just incredibly stereotypical and also excludes Trans Lesbians and Asexual Lesbians who don't want sex. The whole joke was that Adam named her that because he is obsessed with sex and he's a jerk. But her name was always Vagina even in the pilot (from what I know Adam wasn't conceived then and neither was the idea that Vaggie even is a former exterminator).
That's all the queer characters I could think of. I hope I didn't miss any.
I thought about including Millie here too. But she was also already included in my other discussion post and I still don't know if she is canonically Bisexual of if that is just a headcannon so I didn't put her here.
I'm just gonna say that i don't have a problem with queer men being sexual (or any queer person in that regard). But it's pretty much every one of her queer male characters. This is especially bad when a lot of the relationships are toxic as well.
I just think too many characters fit stereotypes and to me that isn't good queer representation. If you like the depiction of queer characters in HH or HB that's good for you and you don't have to agree with me. But you also can't really deny a lot of this stuff and you can't expect others to just be fine with bland, hurtful and sometimes even toxic representation like there is in these shows.
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