#I cannot explain to them why I don’t bind or don’t LOOK TRANS

[majoringinsarcasm]

Crying. About. Politics.

I try not to think too hard about anything otherwise I’ll lose my mind. And this is not a hopeless post. This is just me saying. I feel like. A lot of people are gonna vote for Trump. From your hardcore republicans to truly normal people who are like well Biden was bad we can survive Trump again. And I think about the policies and laws and regulations that have been Good that aren’t in the big news. And I think about how RIGHT NOW states are banning books and sex ed and queer people just living period. And I think about how if the state of things is this bad Now? What’s it gonna be like under a presidenr who Actively agrees with or will go along with this shit for votes.

“We survived Trump” says the people who are still here. “We can survive another four years” says the people who won’t be pushed to maybe not stick around for that long.

[cae-ruleam]

some trans!danny headcanons just because

or more like lgbt because this dude's definitely bi you cannot sway my mind. i need to dump these hcs somewhere people.

kind of a long blog i'm sorry.

i think danny realized his stance on gender quite early. probably early years of elementary school or smth. what i'm trying to get to with this is that his classmates could literally not care less and most probably didn't even realize the change. danny just became the standard instead of dani very soon.

jazz helped him most with his transition when he was a tween and helped him come out to their parents some years prior.

i like an idea i read just recently how jack goes "oh, danny-boy sounds great, son!" i love jack. he would definitely be like this.

jazz is definitely also the one who did the research on transitioning. danny knew she would help him with those things and he can't be bothered with them if she's already up for it anyway so he never told her to stop lol.

he probably eventually does some research on his own, though. both because some things are hard to ask/explain and because jazz didn't want to invade his privacy too much, especially as they got older.

the first time they go out to buy "boys' clothes" danny was so excited he probably throws all applicable aisles upside down ngl. they get told off for it by some store clerks later but they humor the kids all the way anyway. it's just what they have to say according to the rules.

when dash finds out, he will threatens to "stuff you into a locker just like i do fenton if you misgender him". it works really well and dash stays the only one to stuff him into lockers and hang him to flagpoles, just because "he's a loser".

very little changes between their dynamic which danny is honestly grateful for. although he could've gone without the bullying, but it's just whatever. however, down the line danny does notice that dash will be more careful with him and rarely has his hands near his chest.

literally every ghost understands him. even the most violent and evil of ghosts will beat up people who dare misgender him.

danny insists to both dash and ghosts that he can definitely handle himself though. but both threats already keep people enough at bay so he really doesn't have to anyway.

that, and amity park's small. there's very few people who had to be intimidated at all.

after years of being a half ghost and getting more used to and knowledgeable on ghost culture and practices, he'd probably reconsider his gender identity. this because i firmly believe most ghosts don't have a perception of gender. no one judges based on physical appearance considering there's so many ways people can die resulting in vastly different ghostly appearances.

that, and c'mon. they're dead. gender is the least of their afterlife concerns.

he'll still feel more masculine than anything, but the way no other ghosts ever judge him based on, well, literally anything a human would he starts feeling a bit of detachment from the concept of gender in general.

sooo what im trying to say is, demiboy danny? yes, demiboy danny all the way.

he might vibe with he/they because of this realization hmm.

looking back on when dash threatens people for danny's sake, he realizes that's probably when he found out he has a thing for other dudes too. something about him being so caring struck his heartstrings, much to his dismay. not like he'll ever admit this to anyone willingly.

i think jazz is definitely also sapphic. all girls are sapphic, they definitely give that vibe. anyway, the fenton siblings will often talk about their (celebrity) crushes together during their puberty years when hormones run amock.

while jazz is the one who does the research, sam probably helps him with all binder related stuff. she teaches him how to bind safely and reminds him at school to not wear it for too long after school or else it'll be dangerous.

idk why but i feel like sam would have some experience or at least knowledge on binders.

i think he's very confident in his identity and with himself. he may care about what people think of him sometimes, but his gender identity is not one of the things he cares about what others' opinions are.

he probably goes on T when he start's high school? he becomes more of a beanpole than he already was.

"you think you have it hard? im trans, gay and most of all DEAD. the universe didn't even let me pick a struggle." (/s) - is probably something he would say.

edit: i forgot this but i think danielle will decide to go by elle instead of dani to avoid verbal confusion but also because she knows that's what danny went by in the past. she respects this part of him a lot and decided against going by dani partially because of that.

[quillsink]

hi if it's not too personal to ask and don't answer it if it is but how did you know you were trans? and i mean also did you start changing stuff about yourself like the way you dressed and hair etc?

Uhh long story afsfafdfd

So in like, late 2020/early 2021 i started watching a looot of trans stuff on youtube. It was in 2020 that I discovered more about the LGBTQ+ community through getting into fandom more and also because of The Owl House and I was consuming a lot of trans content, and then soon enough I was consuming solely transmasc content. Animatics, videos, story times, literally anything, if it was transmasc I would watch it.

It was in early 2021 that I began to realise my discomfort with my body might not be just insecurity. I remember there were multiple times where it was at the forefront of my mind and yet I was still in denial. I stared at the mirror and said “I cannot be a man, the world will kill me ten times over,” I watched a video on binding and then immediately had an anxiety attack and paced up and down then locked myself in the bathroom and forced myself to think I wasn’t trans.

It was in late March 2021 I joined tumblr and made friends through the amrev fandom. I had a mutual who was much younger than me and was nonbinary and I was fascinated by the concept. I remember I looked up “afab enby” on tumblr scrolled for like a whole hour just fascinated by it, and I saw a pic of a masculine looking nonbinary person and was filled with envy, thinking “god i wish that was me.” Then I found some trans resources and I just...stared at it. For very long.

I also had a mutual who identified as ftm and I remember being jealous of them for being ftm which was. Aryan. You dumbass, you’re trans.

I remember reading something written by a transfem and thinking something along the lines of “you WANT to be a woman? why? i’d love to be a dude” and then immediately telling my brain to shut up

There were a lot of moments like that, where the true me was coming to the surface but I was too deep in internalised transphobia to notice.

I had posted jokingly about gender questioning a couple of times. Once in like May or June I think I was talking in TDSS vent channel about how stressed and depressed I was, and Bea offered to VC later and help me out. Then we talked and she asked about gender questioning, saying if we figured that out maybe I’d be a bit less stressed or unhappy.

Then @/in-some-future-time came on the VC as well and they typed in the chat while Bea and I talked. I talked about how I was uncomfy with my body because I couldn’t look masculine, and how I disliked she/her pronouns.

My entire life I’ve been uncomfy with she/her pronouns and feminine terms for like,,,,as long as I can remember, I’ve flinched when people called me she/her, cringed when I was called “miss” or “maam.” I told Bea how I disliked she/her and she was like “Ink,,,if you don’t like she/her,,,you can like,,not use it, yknow,,”

And I was like “WAIT YEAH I CAN”

That evening, after a lot of reflection and looking at labels, I decided I was nonbinary and genderfae, and I dropped she/her and started using they/them. The moment I stopped using she/her pronouns god i swear it was like a fucking weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was absolutely elated that day, holy shit, I don’t have to be called she or her if I don’t want to, the amount of relief I felt was unreal. There was no way I was going back after that.

I’d been dressing masculine my entire life. I liked being a masculine girl, but the *girl* part always felt wrong. Then, I don’t know how to explain it, but something *clicked* and then I was a guy and good lord it felt *right,* like I’d been waiting for this my entire life and I’d never felt happier. 

I cannot explain with words how wonderful it felt to finally realise who I was, like holy shit I’m a guy I’m a boy I’m me I’m myself, it’s such an amazing feeling.

I thought I was feminine aligned nonbinary and genderfluid, but then slowly started gravitating away from female-ness once I realised I didn’t have to be a girl if I didn’t want to. I started identifying more with male-ness, and again, the feeling was amazing. It felt right, it felt good, it felt like home.

And then, slowly, I added he/him to my pronouns and it made me so so happy. It was a bit strange at first, like new shoes feel weird at first, but soon it felt like home and I loved it, he/him and masc terms.

I’ve been dressing masculine my entire life, and after I realised I was trans I did start dressing more masc, but realising I was trans also made me more in touch with my femininity. When I realised I didn’t have to be feminine as a girl but I could be feminine as a guy it felt so much more right?? Like yknow the way gay dudes are feminine, the way gnc dudes are feminine, that’s how I felt, not like how girls are feminine.

But I honestly believe realising I was trans wasn’t the reason I dressed masc, it was more a catalyst. Like yeah, I’m masculine, but that isn’t what makes me a guy. Realising I was trans just sorta made me realise “wait, social norms are bullshit, I can do whatever I want,” and also made me feel more in touch with myself.

I did also cut my hair short and good lord it was a *relief,* I fucking hated having long hair. I did do it because I was like why not all other transmascs do it but it honestly made me really happy.

But like, even if I was a cis woman, I’d still be masculine and cut my hair short. I am traditionally masculine in the way men are expected to be and that is in some way connected to my gender, but it’s also what just feels right and natural for me. If I was a cis girl I’d still have short hair and dress masc tbh.

I mean after a lot of transphobia from my parents I had to tone it down but ah well. Just a few more years in this hell before I’m out of here lmao

Anyways, I hope I could answer your question!!

[salmalin]

What If Rasler Were Trans?

I'm never going to find time to write this as a fic, but a while back I got this possibility in my head that Rasler was Trans. Why? Because Ashe and Rasler bonded really quick, canonically, but outright say it wasn't a political marriage... and my brain immediately jumped to, "What if Rasler is trans and allowed to be herself in private around Ashe?"

But then, after mulling it around a bit, I thought of something infinitely funnier.

Rasler is a trans man who was originally sent to Dalmasca to be Ashe's lady in waiting, but lied on his transcripts.

HEAR ME OUT.

So. Rasler. Trans man extraordinaire. Why not? It's a fun idea.

So imagine Rasler is being sent to Dalmasca originally to be Ashe's Lady In Waiting. He sees this as an opportunity, you know?

This would explain:

1. Why Rasler is the only Hume Dude in Dalmasca not part of the army who covers his chest on the regular. We even see the King's tits.

Look. Tits. "They've got on the Fancy Armor", you must be thinking. "Surely it's just decorative." Yeah, so is Rasler's. Rasler is also wearing ceremonial armor. And it is covers Everything. "But Sal, he's from Nabradia, not Dalmasca."

Listen.

Listen.

I do not care.

More than that;

Look at that. That's surprise. Rasler obviously wasn't intended to go into battle. He's just wearing the most conservative armor physically possible in the lineup of ceremonial armors. Even the king's got his tits out. It's hot in Dalmasca -- man knows what he's about. Rasler must be sweltering. (The things we do to cover our chests. Binding. Layers. Full plate armor.)

Even Ashe wears less than him. She's in a tube top with sleeves and he's in full plate armor in direct sunlight in midday w i t h a c a p e. You cannot tell me that's the decision of a man without a reason. If he is cisgender then that is a lot of decisions and they are all bad.

2. Why Vaan didn't know about Rasler.

Admittedly, this is a minor note.

3. Ashe and Rasler's relationship.

So in Japan you don't really say "I love you." It's a rare thing to say -- they prefer actions over words, to the point where it's a once in a lifetime thing, depending on how you say it. But also I don't think Ashe and Rasler were in love because if you look at the timeline, they don't get much time together. Barely months. More than that, they don't even present it to the people as such.

Look at that. Look at that dialogue.

Rasler could totally be trans. Admit it. Admit it.

Ashe looks at him extremely tenderly, and he looks upon her as well. Do I think they had a whirlwind romance? Neither of them really seem like the type. They're both impulsive, but that's for jumping into battle.

BONUS: Not a point, but this gives the "That I be considered worthy" line way more significance because trans reasons and that makes me happy. Especially if the King is in on it.

Followed by an immediate pan to Ashe:

That is the face of a woman who knows what's up.

(On a side note, the Viera Lady Knight behind her? Her design is what's UP. I wanna know more about her!)

NOW. We're done with the slideshow. (I promise. There's not many more photos I can add, anyways. Thanks, Tumblr.)

The timeline would be thus.

Rasler's Pops would send him to Dalmasca to be the Lady In Waiting and/or Royal Companion to Princess Ashe because Rasler is miserable in Nabradia. They have a long history of friendship and peace between their countries to the point where the people legit only see their relationship as a political symbol between their Kings. That's Some Freakin' Friendship right there. So naturally it's a safe bet for sending your "princess" to maybe get a fresh start and make some friends.

Now, Rasler? Rasler sees this as a Chance. Rasler knows that no one knows him in Dalmasca. He can be Whoever he wants. So what does he do? He dolls himself up, forges his own papers, and goes to Dalmasca in style *cough* full plate armor *cough* and introduces himself a Prince Rasler of Nabradia, who is there to court the Princess Ashe of Dalmasca (because there's only so much he can forge without someone sending a letter back and the "Princess's Companion" is the best cover to keep him flying under the radar as long as possible.)

N O W. Here's where it gets dicey.

So Ashe finds out pretty quickly, probably. He likely tells her, and she's totally on board with it and she's like, "I respect a man who can fool an entire Kingdom for things that are important but also largely harmless. Also I've got several older brothers -- there's no way I'll have to produce an heir." Cue nervous laughter.

So they hook up! Ashe is totally Rasler's beard and confidant, and they bond over stuff. Bonus points if Ashe is gay and practicing her "in love" face when looking at Rasler to fool people. (I imagine she's pretending to look at that Viera guard we see in the "HYAAAAA" scene.)

(I mean, look at her. She's incredible. The armor. Her hair. The fact that she could rip your face off but won't, has claws, and wears shoes that could double as a deadly weapon in a pinch. What's not to love? But alas -- forbidden love, because this Viera is very likely at least 30 times Ashe's age. But she can dream, right?)

Anywho, Ashe is Rasler's beard.

Maybe a senator or two is send to Dalmasca, and Rasler has the cajones to show up to the meeting and look the senator dead in the eye and smile, daring him to complicate the relations between their countries. And the senator pulls the King aside as is like, "You do realize... the Princess Rasler is wearing full plate armor, correct?"

And the King is like, "This man is not sane. Please send him back to Nabradia and get us a new senator."

So they do. And the senator brings back the news, and this time they send several more senators, and during the meeting Rasler is just sitting. Right there. Staring at them. Smiling.

So they bow and scrape and treat him like a Prince, and then they leave. And they tell their King, who then makes the trip personally.

And you know what?

He lays eyes on his son -- who was so miserable in Nabradia that he sent him to another freakin' country to make friends -- and sees him smiling and waving at people and talking and being active and potentially in love with the Princess of Dalmasca and he says, "Rasler... you are a man, now."

King's just like

Free Treaty; Free Son.

That's chill. Rasler is happy. Ashe is happy. S'all good.

And then Archades gets up on their shit and moves their dick measuring contest to Nabradia where they proceed to swing a spear between their legs at everyone unfortunate enough to be in slashing distance.

But that's a different story.

[neworleansspecial]

There’s been a push lately of including more trans characters and trans headcanons in fanwork lately, and that’s a good thing! However, most of the time, the content that gets promoted is by cis creators as opposed to transgender creators speaking from their real world experiences. While it’s important to boost trans voices, that’s not to say you can’t or shouldn’t write trans characters as a cis person. 

Please note that this post is not an attack on cis writers! Far from it, in fact. I would say the majority of the time, cis people writing harmful content are doing it unintentionally- they probably just don’t realize that it’s a problem. The main goal here is to educate on what’s harmful, why it’s harmful, and what to do instead. In addition, some trans people, especially young trans people, can fall into these tropes too- after all, all of us were raised in the same cis-centric society. 

That said, trans people can write about these tropes if they choose- we’re allowed to discuss our own experiences or those we identify with in a way cis authors can’t or shouldn’t because of our different relationship to gender. If you’re transgender and you write using these tropes, that’s okay! But remember to be self-critical, too; are you writing these tropes because you enjoy them or because they reflect your experiences, or are you writing them because that’s what cis people promote or it’s what you think trans narratives must be?

This particular post will focus on common tropes in writing about transgender characters, and why they’re harmful, as well as ways to counteract them in your writing. As this is a long post, it’s under a read more. Thank you to @jewishbucke​ for all his help and support.

For the purposes of this post, let’s lay out some basic definitions so that we’re all operating on the same playing field and understanding.

Cisgender (cis): Someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth.

Transgender (trans): Someone whose gender differs from the one they were assigned at birth. Trans people may or may not experience one or more kinds of dysphoria. The level of dysphoria a trans person experiences is not relevant to whether or not they are transgender. 

Dysphoria: The discomfort caused by a disconnect between someone’s gender and the one they were assigned at birth. Dysphoria can be physical (related to the body), emotional (related to their feelings/sexuality), or social (related to other’s perceptions of them). 

Gender Expression: The way a person outwardly expresses themselves and their gender. This can include but is not limited to pronouns, clothes, hair style, and name.

Transmasculine: A transmasculine person is a trans person whose transition is aimed at becoming more masculine. Trans men are transmasculine people, but not all transmasculine people are trans men. Transmasculine people are transmisogyny exempt (TME), meaning they do not experience the specific combination of transphobia and misogyny that affects transfeminine people. 

Transfeminine: A transfeminine person is a trans person whose transition is aimed at becoming more feminine. Trans women are transfeminine people, but not all transfeminine people are trans women. Transfeminine people are transmisogyny affected (TMA), meaning they experience the specific combination of transphobia and misogyny directed towards transfeminine people.

That being said, my point of view making this post is as a transmasculine TME person. I can offer my personal perspectives and experiences, but I cannot speak over or for the specific experiences unique to transfeminine people and trans women. If you are transfeminine or a trans woman, you are absolutely welcome to add on or correct me if in my words, I said something harmful to you and your community. We are all in this together and it is never my aim to overstep boundaries on something I do not understand. So, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into tropes common in transgender narratives. 

The Cis Savior

To start with, one of the most common tropes is the Cis Savior trope. This is commonly associated with the Trans/Cis trope, which I’ll elaborate more on later. The Cis Savior is often not the main character, but a supporter of a transgender main character. They can be a close friend, a family member, a love interest, or a coworker. 

In this narrative, the trans person is engaging in behavior harmful to themselves, often related to methods of their transition. The most common one you may have seen or written is the transmasculine person binding unsafely. In that example, a transmasculine person binds (flattens) their chest with something such as ace bandages, which are extremely harmful and can damage their ribs. The Cis Savior finds out about this behavior, scolds the trans person, and purchases or gives them a safe alternative like a binder designed to safely compress breasts. While this example is probably the most common one, it’s not the only one. In general, the Cis Savior trope is when a cis person finds out that a trans person is hurting themselves in some way and rectifies it with superior knowledge of safe practices and/or better resources than the trans person has access to.

The reason this is harmful is because it perpetuates two common misconceptions: first, that all trans people hate their bodies to the point of willingly harming themselves to relieve this self-hatred, and second, that cis people know better about trans issues and bodies than trans people themselves. That’s not to say that neither of these things is impossible. Trans people are not a monolith and there probably are trans people like that, at least for some point of time in their lives. In some situations, especially in reference to trans kids or people who have recently realized they’re trans, it’s possible that they don’t know their behavior could be harmful, or that there are safer alternatives. The problem lies in the repeated framing of this trope as the only kind of trans person and the idea that they can and will be destructive towards themselves until a cis person who knows better comes along. 

Instead of writing narratives like these, consider the following alternatives: 

A trans character behaves safely and explains how and why.

A trans character behaving unsafely is supported and educated by another trans person as opposed to a cis person (although this is something you probably shouldn’t be writing as a cis writer- some narratives are better left to us when it comes to the actual experiences of being transgender. Write about trans characters, not being trans!).

A trans character looking into transition on their own finds a supportive community. 

The Gender-Non-Conforming Trans Person

The Gender-Non-Conforming (GNC) Trans Person is a trans character who presents excessively similar to the gender assigned at birth as opposed to their actual gender- the trans man who wears dresses and makeup, the trans woman who has a buzzcut and hates skirts, etc. Like is pointed out above in the “Cis Savior” trope, trans people like this can and do exist! Some trans people are GNC for various reasons- personal style, sexuality, being closeted, or just because they feel like it. 

Narratives about the GNC Trans Person are very focused on the trans person presenting in a way that does not align with their gender, and is often No-Op (Does not have or want gender confirmation surgery) and No-HRT (Does not have or want hormone replacement therapy). It’s also often combined with the “Misgendered” trope. Trans characters in this trope seem to be extremely against presenting the way “expected” of their gender. For example, think of a transfeminine character not wanting to shave, be it their legs, armpits, face, or any other part of their body that cis women are expected to shave. This can lead to the character being mocked, dismissed, told they are not “really” trans, fetishized, and/or misgendered. These characters are often described as not passing as their gender.

This trope is harmful because it plays into the rhetoric that trans people are faking it or attention seeking. Like stated above, GNC trans people can and do exist. In fact, in my personal experience, a lot of trans people are GNC in some way or another. What is and isn’t considered conforming to gender is very strictly based on cisheterocentric ideas of gender presentation, and fails to take into account the intricacies of being transgender, especially if the person in question is also LGB. Trans people don’t have to conform to the restrictive societal views of what acceptable gender presentation is in order to be “really” trans. The stereotype of highly GNC trans people comes from the idea that they’re choosing to be transgender as a means of attention seeking, which simply isn’t true. Trans people didn’t choose to be trans- it’s just another part of them, like their eye color or the shape of their nose.

Instead of writing narratives like these, consider the following alternatives:

A trans character having fun with gender presentation- why not shop from both sides of the store?

A trans character expressing gender-nonconformity in smaller ways.

Multiple trans characters with different gender presentations.

The Misgendered Trans Person

The Misgendered Trans Person is another common narrative in which a trans character is misgendered, whether it be on accident or on purpose, by a cis character. This can be a family member, an old friend, or a complete stranger. This trope also includes dead-naming, the act of referring to a person by a “dead” name that they no longer use as part of their transition.

When it comes to this trope, it’s usually with a narrative similar to the Cis Savior- the trans character is defended by a nearby cis one. More often than not, the Misgendered Trans Person trope is also combined frequently with the Forced Outing. In this story, a trans person is referred to by pronouns they do not use- in particular, those associated with their assigned gender at birth- as a means of causing angst and discomfort. They may also be called their dead name, also to create drama in the story. For example, consider a trans character hanging out with their family, and their mother uses the wrong pronouns for them, causing the character discomfort. This also includes narratives about a character realizing they’re trans, in which the character is referred to by the wrong pronouns and their dead name until they realize they are transgender. More to that point, as a cis author, you should never write a story about someone realizing they’re trans- as said above, write about transgender characters, not about being transgender.

This is harmful because it minimizes the very real pain and dysphoria that can be caused by misgendering or dead-naming. Changing names and pronouns are often the very first steps trans people take in their transition, and an instrumental part of their identities and journeys. Consider it in terms of your face. You have your own very specific face and it is an integral part of yourself and identity. Imagine someone repeatedly insisting that it’s different. They tell you that your eyes are a different color, or your jaw is shaped differently. It would be uncomfortable, and it’s wrong. Obviously this isn’t an exact or fair comparison, but names and pronouns are not just words when it comes to identity and trans narratives. 

In terms of alternatives to this trope, there aren’t any. 

There is no acceptable or reasonable way to write a character being misgendered or dead-named as a cis author. This is especially true when you take it upon yourself to make up a dead name for a character. No excuses, no arguments. Just don’t do it. 

The Self-Hating Trans Person

The Self-Hating Trans Person trope is where a trans person’s dysphoria, be it physical, emotional, or social, is so extreme that they hate themselves and their bodies in an all-consuming way. This character is incapable of loving themselves and will often rely on a cis character for positivity, support, or self-esteem.

It would be impossible to acknowledge this trope without considering its ubiquity- while the description above is clear and severe, it overlaps often with many other tropes and less intense versions of it have a tendency to appear in most trans narratives. It’s associated with the trans character wanting to be cis (often worded as wanting to be “normal”), behaving in ways dangerous to themselves, and/or refusing to accept comfort. For example, a couple common uses of this trope are unsafe binding in transmasculine people, self harm or mutilation, and conversion therapy. The Self-Hating Trans Person narrative typically involves the character being aggressive toward people who question or try to combat their self hatred as well. 

As touched upon in the Cis Savior trope, this is harmful because it perpetuates the stereotype that trans people must hate themselves, and be willing to go to extreme lengths because of it. Plenty of trans people don’t care that they’re trans, or even like that about themselves. The idea that being trans is something that should make a person hate themselves implies that it’s bad or wrong, which it isn’t. There are some trans people who do have these negative feelings- and of course deserve all the support they want and need- but plenty of trans people don’t feel that way. Trans people can and do love themselves and their bodies. Some trans people don’t have severe dysphoria, or may not really have any at all. Trans character’s narratives shouldn’t always be about suffering.

Instead of writing narratives like these, consider the following alternatives:

A trans person who loves themselves and their trans body. (Be conscientious of straying into fetishistic territory, though- trans people are more than their bodies! When in doubt, ask.)

A trans person whose unhappiness is about something else, like losing a pet.

A trans person being loved and supported by their friends. 

The Forced Outing

The Forced Outing trope usually goes hand-in-hand with the Misgendered Trans Person. This trope includes a trans person, either closeted (not out, pre-transition) or stealth (not out, post-transition) having their identity as transgender being revealed to one or more people without their permission.

When it comes to Forced Outings, this usually happens around a cis love-interest, and is typically followed by said love-interest assuring the trans character that this doesn’t matter to them. Another common response is the trans character becoming a victim of violence, such as a beating or sexual assault. For example, a trans person gets “caught changing” and is outed to the person who sees them, without their consent. The “caught changing” is another common way this trope is expressed, usually in a bedroom, bathroom or locker room. Sometimes there’s a happy ending. Sometimes there isn’t.

It should be clear why this trope is harmful- outing someone, be it as transgender or gay or any other LGBT+ identity, is not just disrespectful, but it is extremely dangerous. Just because you wouldn’t react poorly doesn’t mean others are the same. Outing a trans person in real life could get them hurt really badly, or even killed, on top of being outright rude and presumptuous. While this is fiction, it’s important to recognize that the media we consume affects the way we view real world situations. In your story, things may turn out fine, but the harsh reality is that in real life, it usually doesn’t. Trans people can and do get killed when they’re outed. Besides that, it follows along with the rhetoric that someone is “lying” if they don’t immediately disclose that they’re transgender. Trans people do not have to tell you that they’re trans, especially if they don’t know you. 

Instead of writing narratives like these, consider the following alternative: 

A trans person already being out to and accepted by their loved ones.

The Predatory Trans Person

The Predatory Trans Person is usually same-gender-attracted (SGA) and/or transfeminine. They prey on cis people by coercing them into romantic or sexual relationships. Sometimes the trans person is considered predatory because they didn’t out themselves beforehand, or they use their being transgender as a means of guilting someone into having sex with them. It often overlaps with the PIV trope.

These narratives often revolve around sexual situations, and tend to focus on the cis partner as the main character. It prioritizes the comfort and feelings of the cis person. They’re uncomfortable, but can’t say it for fear of being seen as transphobic, or making their partner angry. For example, the cis character and trans character go on a few dates, and the trans character is presumed cis until they get to the bedroom. The trans character is pre-op and “convinces” the cis person to have sex with them anyway, despite them being uncomfortable. The most common form of this narrative is the transmisogynistic telling of a trans lesbian “coercing” a cis lesbian into sex.

This is harmful for two reasons- first and foremost, it paints trans people as being inherently predatory. It implies that trans people are only trans in order to have sex with those who otherwise wouldn’t be interested in them, reinforcing a long-standing transphobic notion that being transgender is related to sexual deviance and/or fetishes. Trans people are not inherently predatory. Trans people are not just rapists in disguise. Second of all, it makes assumptions about the genitals of trans people. Some are pre-op or no-op, of course, but not all of us are. Some trans people have had bottom surgery. Some trans men have penises, some have vaginas. Some trans women have vaginas, some have penises. And even those who haven’t had bottom (gender confirmation) surgery are still allowed and able to enjoy sex with the genitals they have, and use language regarding their genitals that they feel most comfortable with. There’s nothing wrong with that. 

Instead of writing narratives like these, consider the following alternatives:

A trans person having sex with another trans person.* 

A trans person and a cis person having consensual sex.*

A trans person participating in nonsexual intimacy with their partner.

The Genderbend

The Genderbend actually refers to two common transphobic tropes; the first is headcanoning a cis character as being trans as the opposite gender. In other words, headcanoning a cis woman as a trans man, or a cis man as a trans woman. 

It also refers to the common fandom trope of genderbending (also known as cisswap) to make a character of one gender into the “opposite,” typically associated with changing their physical characteristics to match this new assigned gender.

Narratives about the Genderbend trope rely on two primary assumptions. They assume every character is cis by default, and that certain characteristics are inherent to certain genders. The cis to trans version of this trope often focuses on a “coming out” story in which the character realizes they are trans and comes out to their loved ones before pursuing social and/or medical transitioning. 

Cisswap, on the other hand, completely avoids the concept of being transgender, and instead makes the character into the “opposite” gender while they’re still cis. This often comes with physical changes, such as a character made into a girl getting wider hips and a more “feminine” facial structure, as is associated with cis women.

These narratives are harmful because of the assumptions they make about all characters/people being cis by default, and that these characters must have the common physical characteristics associated with that body type. The Genderbend in which a cis character is headcanoned as the “opposite” gender perpetuates a harmful rhetoric that trans people are really just their assigned gender at birth with a different presentation. It pushes the idea that transfeminine people are men in dresses and transmasculine people are self-hating women, both of which are misconceptions behind a lot of transphobic violence people face. 

Cisswap relies on the idea that presentation or physical characteristics equate to gender, and that in order to be a gender, someone must look a certain way. This is not only harmful to trans people, but to any person who does not fit strict western binary beauty standards. It also fails to acknowledge that gender is not a simple binary of man or woman, but a spectrum that includes a multitude of identities. It should also be noted that the Cisswap trope relies on standards of gender and presentation that are intersexist, racist, and antisemitic as well. In general, the Cisswap trope is harmful to many marginalized groups of people, including but not limited to trans people.

Instead of writing narratives like these, consider the following alternatives:

Headcanoning/writing a character as being trans while keeping their gender the same.

A character being nonbinary.

Creating new OCs who are trans.

The Bottom Trans Man/Top Trans Woman (PIV in Trans/Cis Relationships)

The PIV (Penis in Vagina Sex) Trope is exclusive to Trans/Cis relationships, and typically revolves around same gender relationships. In the PIV trope, a pre-op trans person has penis-in-vagina sex with their cis partner. 

In these narratives, the focus is very heavy on the pre-op genitalia of the trans person in the relationship. It’s most commonly seen in m/m fanfiction, in which the trans man has vaginal sex with his cis partner, but also exists in f/f fic in which the trans woman engages in penetrative sex with her partner’s vagina. That’s not to say that trans people can’t or don’t enjoy sex this way, but in this particular trope, it is specifically written in a way that focuses in a fetishistic way on the genitals of trans people and makes broad assumptions about the bodies trans people have and the types of sex they enjoy. These narratives write all trans men as bottoms, and all trans women as tops. 

The reason this is harmful is because of the way it generalizes trans people’s bodies, their relationships to them, and the way they engage in sex. Of course there are pre-op (and no-op) trans people who do enjoy PIV sex with their partners, but that does not mean all trans people have those bodies or have that sort of sex. There are trans men who are tops, and trans women who are bottoms. There are trans people who have dysphoria about their genitals, and those who don’t. Some do not or cannot enjoy PIV sex, and that’s okay! The other common issue with this trope is the way that trans people’s bodies are described. Trans people often use words for their bodies that you might consider “anatomically incorrect” because it’s the language that they feel most comfortable with. 

Instead of writing narratives like these, consider the following alternatives:

A trans person having sex with another trans person.*

A trans person having non-PIV sex with their partner.*

A trans person participating in nonsexual intimacy with their partner.

The Trans/Cis Relationship

Finally, the Trans/Cis Relationship trope- this trope isn’t inherently bad- there’s nothing wrong on its own with a romantic pairing being between a trans and cis character. The specific dynamic this is about is the trans character requiring reassurance, validation, or other kinds of support from their partner that a cis character would not ask for. 

This trope is very commonly associated with Cis Savior and PIV tropes as well. It focuses on the trans person being in a relationship with a cis person who they depend on to “validate” their gender, help with their dysphoria, and protect them from transphobic behavior. It tends to infantilize trans people and make them into someone who cannot function outside their relationship with the cis character. For example, a transfeminine character relying on their boyfriend to make them feel “feminine” enough in their relationship. While Trans/Cis relationships are not inherently bad or wrong, it can be very easy to fall into a trap of writing the cis character as the Cis Savior, and often comes hand in hand with PIV sex when it’s a non-heterosexual couple.

The reason that this trope can be harmful is that it implies trans people are not enough on their own- that they need the support of a cis person who decides they’re “normal” in order to stay mentally well. It comes back often to the Cis Savior trope as well. Trans/Cis relationships written by cis authors may fall into these traps without meaning to. Beyond that, trans people can- and often do- date each other. In fact, some trans people are t4t, meaning that they choose to only date other trans people because it’s what’s most comfortable for them and may be safer depending on the situation they live in. Trans people do not enter relationships based on who will make them feel “valid,” but on who they love- the same as everyone else. 

Instead of writing narratives like these, consider the following alternatives:

A trans person’s partner being trans as well. (Although, again, be mindful to write stories about trans characters, not about being trans!)

A trans person being emotionally supportive of their cis partner.

A trans person being single.

Thank you so much for sticking with me during this! I know it’s long, and that it’s not easy to read things that make you question things you’re used to, or to reevaluate things you may have written in the past. Once again, none of this was an attack! The goal of this series of posts is to inform and educate, rather than shame. People who make these mistakes often do it because they don’t know any better, or haven’t been exposed to anything besides these tropes. I encourage you to look at what other trans people have said about portrayals, and when writing trans characters, look for someone who would be willing to beta for you if you’re unsure. When in doubt, ask. And remember- write about trans characters, not about being trans! There are certain nuances to being transgender that, as a cis person, you simply don’t have the background or experiences to write on, and that’s okay! We’re all learning and growing together.

*If you absolutely want to write sex scenes involving trans people, the best thing to do is to get a trans beta- and listen to them- as well as use language that may not be what you consider anatomically correct. Trans people may call their genitals by words that don’t “match” for their own comfort, and using language that focuses on pre-op genitalia can come across and/or be fetishistic. Be mindful and respectful when writing these scenes.

[clefairymoon]

okay, so I don’t make these kinds of posts often because tbh I’m a little lazy and very tired like 24/7 lmao but I’ve been seeing a lot of Pride reading lists hit my dash (and they’re excellent, and I save them all!) buuuut reading books is still a roadblock I’m struggling to mentally overcome -- and audiobooks are great, but they take 84 years (sometimes literally???) to get through. so! I thought I’d share a (very tiny) list of the queer manga I’ve read this year that you might enjoy for Pride, with some descriptions/trigger warnings/thoughts to go with them. so here we go in no particular order other than where they sit on my bookshelf:

What Did You Eat Yesterday? by Fumi Yoshinaga

okay so I know I go on about this manga at literally every presented opportunity, but I honestly just can’t help myself??? as a thirty-something queer adult, I really love the quiet maturity of this relationship between Shiro and Kenji; especially when it’s highlighted by references to shenanigans of their youth, and the ways in which they are still growing as both individuals and a couple. I’ve only read the first six volumes but I’m OBSESSED.

Status: Ongoing (17 volumes; 15 translated) Summary: Shiro and Kenji are an established adult couple with separate careers and interests, whose relationship is depicted over the meals cooked for them by Shiro. This doesn’t have an overarching plot, which might be off-putting for some readers; each chapter can be compared to a fanfic one-shot, usually containing it’s own tiny storyline or theme. It’s literally just domestic moments and meals shared between these men. Warnings: While I didn’t personally have a problem with this, younger readers might find some of the dated terms offensive. If you’ve spent any time with older queer folks (older as in 45-50+) this won’t be anything you aren’t used to, but if your experience of queer folx skews younger or online, you might get taken by surprise. There’s also some internalized homophobia; and by some I mean quite a bit. Shiro’s personal arc (at least in the first six volumes) heavily revolves around how much he closets himself and tries desperately to pass as “normal” in Japanese business culture.

Boys Run The Riot by Keito Gaku

holy shit holy shit holy SHIT. this story is so good??? so VERY good??? I was a little cautious, and a little bit uninterested in a story about teens (only because I’m in my thirties and crave more adult representation,) but I was VERY WRONG to be. Boys Run The Riot is beautifully drawn, beautifully written, and probably my favorite work on this list. the mangaka is also trans so the inherent understanding and nuance of our protagonist’s experience is really lovely. Also featuring a fantastic brotp between a trans boy and his new himbo bestie; no seriously if you want a story about a trans boy getting to have good broships with other boys his own age I CANNOT stress this enough. Volume two is releasing next month; I have it preordered. I’m laying on my floor wishing for time to hurry the fuck up. I need more of this smol angry trans boy and his big soft himbo bff. PLS. Status: Ongoing (4 volumes published; 2 translated) Summary: Ryo Watari is a second year high school student who is trans and struggling to feel comfortable with his very rigidly structured life at school, at home, and among his friends (to whom he is not out.) By chance he meets Jin Sato, a cis boy who also feels outcast (often judged for his appearance without any deeper thought.) When Ryo comes out to Jin in a state of frustration, Jin accepts who Ryo is and makes an offer -- why not start a fashion line that subverts all the expectations that have been put on them both; why not express themselves even when they’ve been told they shouldn’t. Warnings: Ryo is struggling with gender dysphoria, and it is written by someone who has probably experienced it, so it might be a little real for any trans folks who deal with that. Also, while neither the narrative nor Jin misgender Ryo (at least, not once he expresses to Jin that he is a man), Ryo is not out to anyone else and so he frequently is misgendered at school and we see how badly that impacts him and the way he views himself and processes his emotions. Ryo spends a lot of time being angry and trying to swallow it down, and that can be very raw to witness at times. There is also a depiction of unsafe binding (though the mangaka has an immediate note about binding safety, and goes further in-depth at the back of the manga.)

Our Dining Table by Mita Ori

okay, so I was a bit on the fence about whether or not I wanted to include this as a rec, but I decided that it might actually been what someone wants or needs, so here it is! while I really enjoyed this concept, and I’m always a sucker for found family stories (let me tell you I’m queer without telling you I’m queer, much?) it feels like this story is a bit rushed at times, and the romantic relationship between our protagonists is very blink and you’ll miss it. I don’t even want to call it subtle so much as it is just not remotely the focus of the story so it’s a little startling when it happens. but! if you’re looking for a story about adults processing grief and trauma together, and learning how to care for another person (and as a result, learning how to care for themselves,) this is a nice read that isn’t too heavy!  Status: Complete (one volume) Summary: Yutaka is a salaryman whose past experiences prevent him from reaching out to others, even through something so simple as sharing a meal. Despite this is REALLY loves to cook, and wishes he had a reason to do it more often. Then he meets Minoru, and his muuuuuch younger brother Tane (it’s like a 17 year age gap between the brothers?) and finds himself teaching them how to cook, and overcoming his fear of eating in front of others. Warnings: Good news, there’s no overt homophobia in this story! Bad news, the other trauma makes up for it! We have a lot of trauma surrounding parental death, childhood bullying, and adoption; in addition to an actual fear of eating in front of others.

Our Dreams at Dusk / Shimanami Tasogare by Yuhki Kamatani

this is the first manga series I collected, and I’m still very pleased about that. the art is ABSOLUTELY stunning? the use of visual imagery and surreal analogies to explain queerness is fucking on POINT. I cried so hard during a couple of these volumes I developed a migraine. I only have one piece of critique on the whole thing (addressed in the warnings,) and I intend to do another re-read when I’m ready for the catharsis of sobbing into my pillow again. Like Boys Run The Riot, Our Dreams at Dusk is drawn and written by a member of the queer community (a non-binary mangaka, this time,) and as a result it hits pretty fucking close to home in a lot of ways. while I really love this series it’s super not for the faint of heart, you WILL come out of this reading experience with some things to unpack. Status: Completed (4 volumes; 4 translated) Summary: We mostly follow Tasuku Kaname, as he is outted at school by a classmate as being homosexual, and his initial despair and subsequent journey of acceptance. In this process, Tasuku finds himself at a drop-in center, which seems to primarily function as a safe space for queer people; we meet several lesbians, an elderly gay man, a trans character, and a young character who isn’t ready for any kind of label because they are still ??? about themselves and their identity. Each of these “secondary” characters is given room to breathe and to work through difficulties of their own while Tasuku watches and learns that even though life is hard sometimes, there’s beauty to be found in one’s own strength. Warnings: hoooo boy; well there’s all kinds of homophobia and transphobia; a character is outted against their will (multiple times), there’s some really insidious transphobia covered by “concern”, there’s internalized homophobia everywhere, and a very complicated asexual character whose presentation left me (as an ace) with super mixed feelings and a lot of frustration (though I wouldn’t call it bad necessarily; just wanted to put that out there for my fellow asexual folks.) If you have read (or go on to read!) any of these, please let me know! I’d love to chat about the stories, and hear your thoughts on them -- because we’re a broad/diverse community and our own experiences shape us differently and give us different insights. <3 ANYWAY, for those of you who read this monstrous self-indulgent post, thank you! Feel free to add any queer manga you’ve been reading below - I’m always on the hunt for more recs!

[that-bookworm-guy]

i cannot BELIEVE that anon, like the audacity omg

Like if you use the app literally the third recommended post on your blog is you celebrating being two years on T (congrats on the top surgery by the way!!!)

maybe you saying something like that you usually don't write trans MCs bothered them? but that's still no way to react?? smh

Hey, I'm very used to it on this blog XD 

 Thank you :) like literally, if someone searched my blog they could look up the tag 'trans' and see so much stuff, like I don't hide the fact I'm trans XD 

 I wrote that I don't normally write trans characters after the message I got.

 Plus I was always fairly open about why I choose not to write a lot of trans masc characters and that has nothing to do with them being trans, it's about me and my mental health XD 

 One of the very first stories I wrote (and it turned into my trilogy) has a non-binary character and I was 100% comfortable writing that, because there was maybe 200-300 words in the whole 3 books that touches on explaining their identity because it really wasn't a big thing. I just wanted to explain why they chose to go by they/them and why nothing about them was ever gendered. Hell, I'm fairly sure I just made another character into a trans girl, because I originally wrote her as a girl, then for some reason I decided to change her into a boy, then decided, actually no, she doesn't feel right to me as a boy, so she's a girl. I'm just considering writing maybe a sentence that confirms she's a trans girl because it fits the identity crisis I was having about her. 

 I wrote a 10k short story about a trans boy character that wasn't meant to be a coming out story because he was out to family already and starting a new college, but I had so many feelings about me personally being outed, that that's what my story turned to. I had never written something so short that wiped me completely mentally. So I don't write a lot of trans masc. characters because I pour too much of myself into them, to the point I'm drained mentally and emotionally. I set myself limits and I cross them. 

The problem I have isn't with writing trans characters, hell, I'd write loads of trans characters if I knew it wouldn't tip my mental health. 

Same way as with depression, I have had depression for years, I can't ever write a story about a character with severe depression or someone who is su*cidal, because I'd be pouring too many of my emotions and trauma into it, it would tip me. 

 This time, I've set myself very tight boundaries on what I can and can't write about with the character and I'm only writing it, because it's a situation I actually dream about a lot, and the story will be focused around this trans character and yeah the fact he is trans will pay a huge role in it, BUT it's a different side of being trans.

 It's developing powers and going on adventures, but being carefully about resting regularly when you can when you are binding. It's the story I would have loved to have read when I was a teen, instead of coming out stories where trans people get beaten up or worse, because urg, they annoy me.

 It's about how people say your name, but refuse to call you something else. Like I've just written a scene where the headmistress of the school called the MC parents in has no issues calling the MC their actual name (he will not be deadnamed in this, I refuse straight up to do that) but struggles to refer to them as their dad's son, and will go out of their way to avoid this (something that happened to me a hell of a lot).

 I kinda ranted here and it's not aimed at you. I just feel like I have to explain myself whenever I write anything about trans character etc. 

Hopefully that rude anon will read this. 

 Thank you for the ask, I hope you have a wonderful day :)

[cristinablackthornkingson]

It’s only Tuesday and I’m having a terrible week.

Fuck me it’s only Tuesday and already I’ve had such a fucking shitty week. To start off with I’m not entitled to a medical card, which will allow me to visit my doctor for free and only pay about 2 euro per item for anything I buy on prescription. I have multiple physical and mental disabilities but because I’m 20 and young, I’m not entitled to disability, they say I can be trained because I’m young, despite the fact that I can’t be in loud crowded places because of my SPD and I can’t stand for long periods of time without being in total agony because of my scoliosis. I am entitled to free GP visits at least, but still. I didn’t get the flu shot this year because I couldn’t fucking afford it, and then I ended up catching the flu and was really sick for about a week, I had to spend 50 euro to see my doctor and then spend 25 euro on medication and I only get 112 euro a week, I’m not entitled to the full dole/unemployment because I’m under 25. So apparently 112 euro is too much for someone to have free medical care and free prescriptions. I’m late on my period for the first time in the 10 years I’ve been having them, what if something is wrong and I need treatment? I won’t be able to afford that, no way in hell. I had plans to work through my fear of surgery in therapy, so once I got my medical card I could maybe get top surgery at some stage to alleviate my dysphoria, I am so sick of not being able to look in the mirror without feeling physically ill and inherently wrong. I was hoping my doctor would refer me to a specialist and I could get a brace for my back, the medical card would have payed for that, but I absolutely cannot afford that now. 

Then to put the cherry on the cake, I’ve been having issues at work for months, since I started. I’m a volunteer and the people I work for are the biggest cunts I have ever had the misfortune to meet. They are extreme staunch Christians who expect you to pay a swear jar at work if you say ‘God’ or any variation of that (take the Lord’s name in vain, but he’s not THE Lord, he’s your Lord and you cannot force me to not say his name in vain, if you don’t want to that’s fine, but I don’t believe in God so taking his name in vain means nothing to me) they expect customers to not take the lord’s name in vain in the shop, they are extremely dismissive of customers and extremely rude to customers of color. They can be nice to white people, but if they’re talking to POC, they’re so fucking rude to them, it sickens me. It’s no wonder nothing fucking sells. 

One day a few weeks ago when I wasn’t needed out the back, I sat out the front at the cash register to try and get some experience in and see if I remembered what my co-worker had taught me. I couldn’t get the hang of it but it was not a big deal at all, nobody lost money or anything like that, I had someone else with me to help me when i couldn’t get it..

The next day I was sorting through the clothes like I always do and one of my bosses (I work for a married couple, a man and a woman)  basically told me not to go behind the tills or around the tills anymore, now this guy wasn’t there the day before, so his wife obviously squealed on me to him, imagine being a maybe 40 something year old woman, squealing to her husband on your 20 year volunteer because they couldn’t work the till perfectly the first go, pathetic.  He then also told me that he knows I need to sit down a lot (which is true, like I said because of my back I can’t stand for long periods of time) but then proceeded to tell me to ‘Go for a walk’ when I needed to instead of sitting down out the back, he told me to go to the benches at the back of the shopping center the shop is located in. This is they guy who told me he needs to know where I am at all times. I left work early at one stage because I was having awful period pains, two co-workers saw me go and so did this guy, but when I came in on Monday after that, he told me I disappeared didn’t tell him I was leaving. The only other possible explanation was that he meant I went to the toilet for 5 minutes the other day, without telling him. I’m sorry man, but I was in agony and I needed to check if I was bleeding heavily because I didn’t have any clean pads with me, so I would have needed to go home straight away if I was bleeding lots.

Then yesterday, we got two bags of clothes donated, I took it upon myself as most of us do, to take them out of the bag, check they were clean, label them and write the size on them so all that was left for the bosses to do was price them. Well there was no room to hang these clothes up so I thought ‘Okay well I’ll label them and everything anyway and then put them back in the bag, that way whenever there is space we just need to take them out, put them on hangers and hang them up’. Well when my boss (the woman, we’ll call her Boss 1 from now on) saw this, she told me I couldn’t be taking clothes out of bags and putting them back in. ???? Why??? They would have been lying there anyway, it’s not like they were taking up any room, I took initiative,I did you a favor. 

Another thing, before I get into the last part, is on my first day I was told to hang my coat and bag in the little toilet area beside the stairs leading up to the attic. I did, and I did the same the next day, but then they told me not to leave them in there because customers sometimes go in there to try stuff on and might steal from me. Right okay, so I would leave my coat and bag in the back. Well I got told not to do that today, I was told to put my coat in the toilet area, so I did. But then when I went to look for my bag when I was leaving, it wasn’t where I left it nor was it in the toilet area, I was starting to freak out because my purse was in my bag. Thankfully I found it a few seconds later, under a chair where it was more in the way than it was where I had initially put it. Those bastards had the audacity to take MY property and MY stuff and move it without telling me, to where it could easily be mistaken for a donation and sold on me. 

And what really topped it all off was what happened today.

I go into work this morning and at first everything is fine, I do my usual tidying of the clothes, and once that’s done I go out the back to see what needs to be done there. While I’m there my co-worker asks if I’ve seen the pricing gun, as it’s gone missing. I say no I haven’t, and have a look around for it myself, can’t see it.Then boss 1 comes in and asks my co-worker ‘Does Michelle know where the gun is?’ my co-worker says no, and Boss 1 asks me where I left it yesterday when I had priced clothes. I told her where I left it and she basically blamed me for loosing it, telling me that I had to put it back in the drawer where we keep other stationary (Nobody ever does that we just leave it on the work top, and I highly doubt I was the last to use it yesterday seeing as I finished at 2 and the shop shuts at 5) Boss 1 kept saying how those guns aren’t cheap and cost upward of 30 euro, i’m surprised she didn’t demand I pay for a new one. 

Then I was pricing some toys that were donated, and when Boss 1 saw me doing this, instead of just calmly and gently explaining there’s no more room for toys on the shop floor, she was very aggressive and rude about it, practically yelling at me, saying things like ‘No! No more toys I’ve no more room!’ Right okay bitch, you could have just said that like a normal person. 

And then I was looking for something to do, I’m someone who always takes initiative, that’s why I was sorting through the toys. So I was looking around me to see what I could do, when Boss 1 tells me if I’m going to be there I need to do something. Then I was practically banned from the back room because it was so packed, but my other two co-workers were allowed in there no problem. That’s where I dew the line and just gave up and went home. I give them my effort and my time, I pour my blood, sweat and tears into that work, I am physically disabled so the work is no easy feat for me, but I do it anyway because I like to be busy and I want to help those in need, but I just get it thrown right back in my face. 

I am a young, trans, gay person, I do not feel safe among these religious nut jobs, I feel forced back into the closet. I started my transition recently, I’m transitioning into a more androgynous look, I cut all my hair off and I started binding with sports bras until I can get a real binder and then surgery. Yesterday was the first day I went into work presenting agender, and man I was so, so scared, I felt sick and almost had a panic attack because I didn’t know how they would react. They didn’t say anything to my surprise, but fuck I was so, so scared, I haven’t felt that kind of anxiety in a long, long time, years. I refuse to feel afraid to be who I am. These ‘People’ are so evil and nasty and the least compassionate people I have ever met in all my life, and I hope everyone realizes exactly who and what they are, fuck them 100 times over, they are such awful, awful people and I hope they get their comeuppance. 

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello & congrats on the new mod!!! If you don’t feel like doing this then please ignore it! If you are: may I rq a headcanon with the RFAs (no V or Saeran please!) MC very nervously coming out to them as non-binary, please and thank you! Maybe they’ve been experiencing a lot of dysphoria lately and spending lots of time in bed with oversized clothing and the RFA finally asks them what’s wrong. If you need me to explain anything I can! :)

Thanks, Anon! There's never enough content for Trans and/or Non-Binary readers, so I'm totally happy to supply that! I hope this does you some justice!

Zen

° He's had a suspicion that something was going on inside your head but he was giving you space and time to work yourself out.

° He gets what it's like to not feel comfortable with your body image, so he understands how hard it must be for you.

° It may take him a small moment to take it in, but you're the ONE for him, so he doesn't mind how you identify. You're his partner, and he loves you, and he will do a lot of reassure your fears because up until they moment he was likely gendering you with princess/prince tropes, so he'll cut back on that if it invalidates how you feel personally.

° Zen only wants you to be happy with yourself.

° Get ready for a lot of confidence because Zen is going to do a lot to help you when you're struggling with dysphoria. If you need to change things up, get new clothes, or a new style, Zen is totally ready to help you. He's used to changing things up for plays and such, and he's picked up a lot that could help you feel better about your image.

Jaehee

° Surprised, but she's not surprised.

° You've alluded to some issues here and there, and it didn't take much for Jaehee to put two and two together and when you're finally honest with her, that's when it all begins to make sense.

° She's happy to have you in her life, and the fact you feel bad about yourself kind of hurts, because she was in that place once and you pulled her out of that place and now you're both in a better place. She wants to do the same for you.

° Reassurance is key. Jaehee reminds you that you're still the same old person you always were, but now you can be truly who you are, which is the best someone can be, which is what you told get.

° She's quick to help you find ways to ease your dysphoria. She's got a knack for finding safe solutions to binding, etc, and it saves you from a lot of trouble. Little environmental and verbal changes seem to really pull the light back onto your face, and there's simply nothing that tea cannot fix.

Yoosung

° He's naive about a lot of things, and when you try to tell him that you don't feel like just a boy or just a girl, he's a little perplexed and might say something dumb without really realizing his error? He doesn't mean to sound that way, he just doesn't quite understand.

° Once you sit back and explain to him how you feel, he'll get it. He's just happy to have a partner as nice as you, it shouldn't matter if you're just a girl or just a boy, you're a great person who he cares about and who he would do anything for.

° He'll try to help you with your dysphoria, but he doesn't know exactly how to go about that. He knows you're struggling with certain aspects of your body but he isn't sure what might help. He'll try to join some clubs that could help him to help you, but nothing beats just talking with your partner, Yoosung.

° "If you want some more casual clothes, um, you can borrow some of mine?"

° Yoosung's way to try and help you get your mind off of things is to just play games together, where you won't focus so hard on your body, or the world judging you, just the two of you having a nice moment together.

° He's a little clumsy, but he means well!

Jumin

° Jumin was raised in such a stark and conservative environment, and he's so aloof and out of touch with things that aren't in his daily life. So, when you're honest to him about your feelings he genuinely didn't know that people could personally identify like that. It's not to say he comes off as rude, but he genuinely isn't educated, and needs a deep conversation on the subject before he gets a grasp on the situation.

° He understands that you cannot stand your body when you appear in certain ways, and that you have the tact to dress this way one day or this way another day, and there's really no settled style in your life. You shift often, and there's no pinning how you feel, unless you tell him, especially in the beginning.

° "Well, if your wardrobe is a part of the problem, I can remedy that."

° Yeah. He's going to get you things tailored to help you appear the way that you want to, and the number of times you look into the mirror and feel distaste might decrease thanks to Jumin's insistence.

° Emotionally, it takes some pulling, but he'll come around and do his best to ease your wounds that encase your heart just as you did for him.

Seven

° "Oh. Oh! That's why you've been trying to hide your body these past few weeks!"

° Seven figured this fact out much before you were honest with him. It's just natural to his inquisitive nature, and the fact that he has the ability to see everything you had on your social media and whatnot. He's not surprised, but he's very glad that you were honest with him about what wss bothering you instead of bottling it up.

° He's no stranger to dressing up as men, women, and others; He can see where your grief is coming from when you struggle to not want to be defined by either, and he wants to help you see yourself as you want to see yourself, not the way you've been trying to ignore for a long time.

° Fear not! God Seven is here, and he's going to dress you up! You can be anyone you want to be, and you don't have to worry so hard about it all when you're together and cosplaying. It's kind of a way to make you laugh as well, he likes the way your face lights up when he dresses up for you.

° He hates that you feel awful about yourself, and in breaks the kisses and tickles to break that pain from your heart. Seven knows you're struggling just he did, and he wants you to feel confident and comfortable enough to be yourself.

° He's used to this sort of thing with Vanderwood, since they switch between male and female identities, consisntrntly; So it's just as easy for him to switch things for you so you feel like you are when he addresses you.

° If anyone says anything harmful or spiteful to you or about you online, don't worry, those accounts will be loaded with bugs and errors.

💜 Mod Kait 💜

[gnostic-heretic]

And when I say a lot of t*rf posts end up on my dashboard I mean it and it’s always so hard to try to separate between the people who are ultimately well meaning and didn’t know and those who spread this stuff maliciously. That post is right tho if you know what r*dfem transmisogyny and transphobia looks and sounds like it’s harder to fall for these posts... the shitty thing about t*rf shit is that it trickles down, in a progressive scale from their blogs to seemingly “neutral” (but never actually neutral*) blogs that maybe sound a little iffy but never outright call themselves g/ender critical or name trans people, onto complicit popular discourse blogs and then on people’s dashboards. *Hell one time I saw a blog that seemed like an innocent supergirl femslash blog just to find she reblogged constantly from t*rfs posts that were just on the borderline and never outright mentioned trans people, only buzzwords and this is what I mean by “neutral” blogs that are actually complicit. This blog has a lot of followers. How many of them reblog these posts uncritically? And I wish there were more lists of said buzzwords and how to recognise them but

The reality is that we trans people especially trans women have to be constantly on the watch for shit like this. We know the arguments and we know why they’re bullshit. Meanwhile cis people don’t really know the specifics of their ideology and seem to fall for it over and over. And the worst thing about it is that t*rfs use this as confirmation bias that their ideas are actually good and everyone would agree with them if they just present it without the slurs and mocking. But the slurs demeaning and mocking are a fundamental part of it, and of trans exclusion in general. Fear mongering and dehumanising trans people are the mean to wiping us out of existence.

I won’t explain why those ideas are wrong because I’m starting from the assumption that my followers are not transphobic and don’t find statements like “trans women are women” controversial, but buzzwords include (warning for blunt discussions of transphobia):

- expressing “concern” about men invading women’s spaces or the “purity” of said spaces (they don’t use the word purity but as a concept in general). This concern is never explained, only stated, because once you look into it you find that it’s actually about trans women. As a side note, the whole “invasion” thing is a popular one and it is reminiscent of white s*premacist bullshit ... this idea that since gay trans people are “actually straight” we will eventually outnumber “the real” gay people by calling ourselves gay and invading their spaces. the more you know ... if this doesn’t ring a bell you need to look into actual n*zi theories like “the gre//at re\\placement” and then we can talk again. The jump from t*rf to alt-ri/ght trad mom is shorter and swifter than either of those groups would have you believe

- “males can’t be lesbians” a pretty non controversial statement if it wasn’t that male is code for trans women. “Men who fetishise lesbians” is also a tricky one because while this is indeed a real issue, they’re referring to “auto/g/ynephilia” aka the idea that the reason lesbian and bi trans women transition at all is just because they fetishise the idea of themselves as a woman/lesbian (contrapoints has a good in depth video about this that explains better than I ever could) — on the same note talk about how “male sexuality” is something inherently corrupt, oppressing, and violent, and cannot be healthy ever, without any other context given is also usually code for “trans women are perverts and sexual predators” . The word “p//ornsick” also comes up often so watch out for it.

- the pervasive idea that a group of “straight people fetishising being gay/a lesbian” is out there and threatening REAL gay/lesbian spaces starts from here. I’ve mentioned a/utogy/nephilia but “fujoshi” is usually code for gay trans men, with a similar idea behind it. We’re not really gay men, just straight women who fetishise the idea of ourselves as a gay man... at least that’s the idea behind it.

- which brings us to the point. “straight people invading gay spaces” is usually if not always code for gay trans people.

- kinda related to the above point, honestly you’re all fools if you think the whole ace discourse bullshit wasn’t just eventually a path to trans and bisexual exclusion. Trans and bi people have been saying this for years but no one wants to listen. That’s not to say that exclusionists are t*rfs but those ideas were popularised by them... that’s just to say learn where your ideology comes from before you endorse it and embrace it

- similarly “queer is a slur” started there so you might want to reconsider why you’ve been convinced to tag your posts “q slur” by people who use other homophobic slurs pretty liberally lol . “Queer means straight people invade our spaces!” + any talk about gnc straight men/women and how it doesn’t make them queer or lgbt, Yeah, this was about never about “gnc” it was trans people all along. The implication is that trans people don’t exist, so we can be nothing but gnc “males/females”. Congrats! You’re a fool! Now don’t make me read this bullshit ever again.

- stuff that makes fun of said “gnc people” “queers” , man buns, undercuts, brightly coloured hair, specific names (aiden comes to my mind) careful about posts that mock the concept of “queering heterosexuality” they’re usually about gay couples with one trans and one cis person, or where both people are trans but with different asab. (ie a gay trans man dating a pan cis man, a trans woman and an afab nb person dating will get mocked as “straight people” who are just pretending to be anything but) sometimes it’s also about bi people jsyk but...

- “forcing young lesbians to not identify as lesbians”/“stop telling young lesbians they should be/are men” is also a big thing. implies that trans people are out there recruiting teenagers who would otherwise be cis lesbians (or more rarely cis gay men) and forcing them into identifying as trans. “young lesbians” also doesn’t always mean young lesbians it’s usually meant to misgender trans men who already identify as men (but in this theoretical framework trans as a concept is nonexistent, a perversion, a delusion, so what could we be but porn/sick straight people or delusional, misguided cis gays who fall victim of a conspiracy)

- entire blogs dedicated to d/etransition (or “reidentifi/cation” as they call it now) experiences that don’t bother to acknowledge that their experience is not universal and au contraire seem to want to push detransition as the one way to happiness especially for afab people. Yes I do think that people who detransition should be able to talk about it, but if the conclusions you draw are “this didn’t work for me so it’s toxic and bad for everyone”, and openly advocate against trans people’s existence, you’re full of shit. Only a small percentage of trans people detransition: over 90% of us are satisfied with the results. It’s all just concern trolling.

- posts about how dysphoria is either a “delusion” or a “normal female experience”, posts that sound a lot like body positivity but they’re actually pushing for detransition (ie you should accept your body as is, surgery is mutilation of your already perfect body etc etc) this is also tricky but it’s all in the language. Phrases like “young women who undergo surgery to fix their already good bodies” could refer to a variety of things but it’s all in the context. Words like “reconnect” “reidentification” are usually presented as alternative. Dysphoria is usually not named and referred to as a delusion or social pressure and something that should never be considered real, ie if you see something like “young women undergo surgery to chase a delusion” it probably comes from a t*rf. be wary of any surgery talk in general is my point because it’s usually presenting gcs as on the same level of lip fillers and Botox (ignoring that trans people face infinite struggles to access surgery and social ostracism for pursuing medical transition so it’s not the same AT ALL)

- talk about stuff like “hrt is dangerous actually” and “binding is horrible actually”? Yeah. You can guess where it comes from. It’s important to acknowledge the risks of hrt/binding but sensationalism about how it’s dangerous and could kill you and so on... it’s just overblown concern trolling to convince people that medical transition is mutilation and a conspiracy to kill the above mentioned “young lesbians”

- sentiments akin to “t*rf is a slur used against lesbians” even if not presented this way are also a red flag, sorry. If you don’t want to be called a t*rf, maybe don’t speak and act like one.

- the sad news is in the end there’s no way to discern whether someone is a t*rf or not because a lot of the time these same talking points come from blogs that have little “t*rfs don’t interact tee hee!” Banners on their description. A lot of r/adfem blogs out there are side blogs of people you wouldn’t usually suspect. Maybe they are vocal against trans exclusion, and in support of trans people, and then switch accounts to hurl about how horrible it is that they feel forced to welcome us “sexual pervert straight people” into their spaces. That’s why imo it’s more important to recognise the ideology than it is to look for clues. Again, if it sounds like one, it’s probably one :’)

[themyskira]

Wonder Woman: Earth One, Vol 2 - Part 3

So, it was around this point in the book where my face locked itself into a horrified rictus. From here until the end I was just reading with this fixed expression of contorted, open-mouthed revulsion.

How could it get worse, you ask? ahah. ahahahahahahah. Read on.

General content warning up top for mind control, abuse, a brief mention of rape, and a little bit of gore. Oh yes, this is a pleasant one.

Diana meets Zeiko in his home. He’s still playing this as ‘they sent me to discover your weaknesses, but now I’ve developed feelings for you! let’s work together to prevent our people from warring!’. To cut a gross story short, he manipulates her into binding her bracelets with her lasso with the old ‘I trusted you, why won’t you trust me?’ It renders her powerless and he shows his true colours, sneering at her, insulting her, casually fondling her thigh, her shoulder. It’s truly repulsive to read.

After revealing that he’s been playing her from the get-go — even the terrorists she fought and the hostages she saved were paid actors — he hypnotises her into doing his bidding.

Steve arrives at Zeiko’s house, responding to an urgent message. He sees Diana in a trance, rightly assumes that Zeiko has done something to her, and turns on Zeiko angrily, exactly as the fucker planned. Zeiko calls out to Diana — ‘look, he’s trying to kill me, I told you he was one of them’, etc. — and then watches on gleefully as Diana attacks Steve and knocks him out cold.

Then he goes for the clincher.

Zeiko: Remember what I told you, Diana. He’s part of it. They’re all part of it, you saw. I’m on your side so he tried to kill me! You saw that! We need to act fast. Captain Trevor’s military overlords sent him to locate your island, preparatory to conquest. All they need now is a slender reason to go to war with the Amazons. All they need is a provocation. You did the right thing. Do “the right thing” again. Remember everything I told you, Diana. You have a big day ahead.

I want to go back to what Morrison said about his intentions in writing Zeiko as a predatory pickup artist. He said that he wanted to bring awareness to the particular techniques that abusers can use to manipulate and isolate women, and to show that this can happen even to the most intelligent and emotionally switched-on people.

From the most technical standpoint, I guess he does that? Zeiko does use a range of common manipulative tactics against Diana to isolate her, make her doubt herself and twist her into doing what he wants. Readers get to see how he does it.

But none of it, from the moment they meet until the moment Zeiko sends a hypnotised Diana out into the world, is presented from her perspective.

We’re not party to what she’s experiencing throughout all this. We see her through Steve’s eyes, as a loved one being manipulated and turned against him. We see her through Zeiko’s eyes, as a pathetic target. Her scenes of emotional turmoil are accompanied by Zeiko’s contemptuous narration, which reduces complex her feelings of betrayal to the wounded pride of a spoiled princess.

Both volumes of Wonder Woman: Earth One are saturated in the male gaze, but rarely is it so disturbing as it is in these sections, where the heroine’s emotional abuse is presented solely from a third-party male perspective.

The next scene finally gives us a very brief insight into Diana’s emotional state, as she returns alone to her apartment, in time for her mental radio to light up with a call from Hippolyta. She is clearly troubled and conflicted about what she is intending (thanks to Zeiko’s hypnotic command) to do.

Diana: Tomorrow I speak to the women of the world! Why do I feel I should never have come here? Why do I feel I’ve done something terrible?

But Paquette fails to adequately capture this inner turmoil in the art, instead going for pouty lips and a detached gaze.

What’s more, because Morrison’s Amazons only speak to each other in dactylic hexameter, Diana’s distress is filtered through the rigid structure of Homeric verse. Instead of raw confusion, grief and betrayal, we get something that reads as formal and rehearsed.

And we barely even get that, because Hippolyta hasn’t called to chat, she’s called to cryptically announce her impending death.

Hippolyta: I dreamed a weapon to bring about the end of men. I changed my mind… the fates changed not and now the time has come. All things must pass.

What’s Hippolyta talking about? Well, in Earth One canon, Hippolyta originally created Diana as a weapon to conquer Man’s World — but when Diana was born, she saw not a weapon but a child. As Diana grew, so did Hippolyta’s love for her daughter, and she abandoned her plans. Here, she reveals that the Fates have not forgotten her original vow, and it will come to pass one way or the other. By trying to stand in its way, she has merely sealed her own doom.

(Urgh, thanks Grant, I’d almost forgotten how awful Diana and the Amazons’ origins are in Earth One.)

And, again, removed from context? This is pretty cool. Real Greek tragedy stuff, you know.

In context, it falls into an ugly trend. Throughout the series, Morrison contrasts the ‘good’ feminism of Diana (who wants dialogue) with the ‘bad’ feminism of the Amazons (who are angry and hate men and, in certain instances, want to force change through questionable means). He rarely takes the time to consider that Diana is a child of hyper-privilege (born into prosperity, blessed with incredible power and technology, and an international celebrity to boot) who has the luxury of being able to say whatever she wants while people flock to listen. He never acknowledges the fact that the Amazons are survivors of rape and slavery whose anger comes from a real, legitimate place.

At a moment when she had been abused, raped and enslaved, Hippolyta expressed an understandable hatred of men and a desire to end them. Now the story is punishing her for it.

Hippolyta ends the call and looks around to find Paula waiting for her.

Paula: Nubia is not here, my queen. Only Paula. Baroness of the Black Sun.

Okay, can we stop it with the poetic descriptions of a vile white supremacist hate symbol?!

Paula reveals tearfully that a radio signal has breached Amazonia and reactivated her Nazi brainwashing. She has fought against it, but she’s failed. Then she cackles evilly and snatches Hippolyta’s magic girdle.

…ssssooooooo… anyone want to explain how this is happening when she’s still wearing the brain-harmonising, mind-controlling, aggression-eliminating Venus Girdle?

Hippolyta submits to the will of fate and Paula punches directly through her chest and snatches out her heart (really? REALLY???), then runs away with the girdle, cackling.

Then we cut back to the States for some more Good Feminist/Bad Feminist.

Diana is about to speak before a women’s rally — you know, the “big angry ladies march” Steve wanted her to skip. It’s a diverse crowd: women of colour, LGBTI women, women with disabilities, hijabi women, women of all ages and body types. Their signs have messages like “the future is still female”, “who run the world?”, “nasty woman” and “trans women are women too”. They look jubilant.

A middle-aged white woman who looks suspiciously like Gloria Steinem introduces Diana and the crowd goes wild.

Diana: My sisters! These are momentous times of turmoil. Yet of turmoil change is born. And Hydra-headed change is the daughter of chaos. I’ve seen women denied education and basic rights. Women treated like property, dehumanised, enslaved, traded. We will not stand for it. As women, as Amazons! We will no longer accept it!

The crowd goes wild. But she’s not done.

Diana: Rulers of Man’s World! Hear me now, your time is at an end! The Amazons are coming to teach you!

Gloria Steinem flinches.

Diana: We are coming, with weapons of peace you cannot understand, with machines and philosophies beyond your own. The Amazons will teach you obedience and harmony! We will make an end to war! And women will rule the world.

The crowd roars its approval, but the male security guard looks distinctly uneasy.

Diana: If that means bringing men to their knees, so be it. We will make you kneel. And the age of men will come to an end. Begging for its life.

Deep in the Pentagon, a room of men are watching the rally with concern, when Max Lord walks in, announces that the Amazons have just declared war.

Okay, first of all, fuck you.

It’s true that Diana is in a precarious political situation at this point of the story. She is trying to campaign for large-scale societal changes, something that is fundamentally threatening to the men in power. She wants to make a lasting difference, and she knows many in this world don’t have the luxury of time that she has. But she’s learning that if she pushes too hard, too fast, the men in power will turn on her and then her homeland will be in the firing line.

And if Morrison had focussed on that angle, he might have been able to build a more nuanced discussion around the difficulties faced by women in the public sphere, who are punished for being too forceful, too assertive, too angry, too “bossy”, too “aggressive”, too “ball-busting”.

But Morrison almost deliberately avoids getting into that territory. When a woman challenges Diana on why she’s not going further, she’s not shown wrestling with the political complexities of her situation — she jumps straight to daydreaming about world domination. When Steve tries telling Diana that the government perceives her and the Amazons as a military threat, she’s not bothered in the slightest — her reaction is ‘lol, I think we can take ‘em’.

So, devoid of that nuance, what we’re left with is… a woman standing before a crowd of woman, giving a voice to an anger many of us have felt before, using hyperbole many of us have used before… and being presented by the story as Wrong and Twisted. The crowd of diverse, marginalised faces becomes an oblivious mob, in which a lone man and two middle-aged, well-off white women are the only voices of reason.

And yeah, in the context of the story, Diana’s not speaking in hyperbole, and it is a declaration of war.

But Diana is a feminist icon, and Morrison chose to have her declare war at a feminist march, using the language of feminism. It’s impossible to escape those connotations, or the implicit message: don’t get too angry, feminists, or you’ll ruin everything.

I repeat: fuck you.

In the Pentagon, Lord continues that only he has the solutions and the technology to defeat them: “Code name Psycho softened her up. I give you the weapon that will kill Wonder Woman. Third Reich mind-control tech, upgraded, signal-boosted. Activate Paula von Gunther. Execution mode.”

Beth arrives at Diana’s trailer to find Diana sitting alone in the dark.

Beth: Diana. They’re calling you a terrorist. What happened out there?

Diana: Beth… he got inside.

FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU URGH.

and, what, we don’t even get to see Diana’s moment of realisation? The moment when she breaks free of the bastard’s hypnosis? What the hell, man?

Zeiko arrives on cue, full of false concern, and tells Diana that Hippolyta “was murdered by right-wing white supremacist factions on your island paradise”. I cannot believe that was an actual sentence in an actual Wonder Woman comic.

And that’s Paula’s cue to burst through the roof of the trailer and drop Hippolyta’s heart at Diana’s feet.

Paula: Behold, a Valentine, from me to you! It kept on beating for a very long time after I tore it from your mother’s breast.

fuck I hate this comic.

Zeiko films Diana’s grief on his phone, gloating.

Zeiko: If there was ever any doubt that my methods guarantee results every time, no matter how high and mighty she thinks she is… here’s the world-famous Wonder Woman!

Like I said, Zeiko is never truly defeated. He’s captured in the end, but Diana never overcomes him. He bests her, and he does it using misogynistic pseudoscience.

Beth hits Zeiko in the face with his own cane, and while he’s reeling she calls the Holliday Girls, who loom over him menacingly while Beth gets out phone to film. (Next time we see him, he has been bound and forced into a ball gag. Haha, implied sexual abuse and humiliation is hi-LAR-ious!)

Meanwhile, Diana fights Paula. Under the power of the Lasso, Paula says that she killed Hippolyta because so that Diana would have to return and take the throne, because she’s in love with Diana and believes Diana can save her and that they can rule the world and enslave men together. All of which might carry some weight if Diana and Paula had ever interacted on page at all before now

(wait, what? what happened to her Nazi programming being reactivated? what the what?)

Paula and Zeiko get loaded onto the vagina plane and it’s back to Amazonia for a fresh round of brainwashing. Zeiko screams in terror that he has rights and they can’t do this to him, before he’s re-gagged and taken into the custody of the Venus Girls.

And finally, a solemn Diana is crowned queen, while the US prepares to deploy its war machines.

followed by the words “to be concluded” because YEP, THERE’S STILL ANOTHER BOOK OF THIS OBNOXIOUS DRECK TO GO.

[lostonehero]

Demon lessons (pt4 of a silent betrayal)

Anti had a odd habit, well for a demon it was a weird habit. Marvin thought to himself watching Anti crochet a new cape for him. Marvin didn't ask for one Anti just wanted to make one. It was cute Anti always purred while he crochet. He already made everyone sweaters, blankets, hats, and scarves. Marvin was more worried that Anti will make too much then do something bad while he crochets.

"Master Marvin." Anti cuts through the silence as Marvin looks at him. "May I ask a question?"

"Uh go ahead Anti." Marvin responds still not used to being called master.

"Forgive me if this is out of line, but do the others know of the scars around your eyes, or of your blindness?" The demon asks with pure innocence in his eyes.

Marvin pauses and swallows. "No they do not, and I expect you to keep that a secret between us.... I can still see though Anti by magic."

Anti nods. "I understand master Marvin. I shall keep my lips sealed."

Marvin stops looking at Anti turning away. "Now may I ask a question?"

"Anything master Marvin." Anti has now put his full attention to Marvin putting down his crochet project.

A moment of silence passes before Marvin can speak finding the right words. "Uh do you know why....uh no how did you..... uh no that's not right."

Anti frowns looking at Marvin with his head tilted. "You want to know why I'm hurt?."

Marvin only nods.

"Well I can't remember, but I know when a demon is under contract like I am, they cannot refuse any order or command. So I believe my previous master wanted to test the limits of my loyalty, and uh hurt me." With the innocence in Anti's tone it makes it seem like he only got a paper cut not extremely disfigured.

Marvin looked sick getting that information. "Oh I see, Anti please take all the time you need to heal, and do as you wish in this home."

"I will, thank you master Marvin." Anti responds with a smile returning to his crocheting.

Marvin looked down, he needed to discuss this with Shneep. He sighed getting up. "I'm going to talk with Shneep you can continue doing as you please Anti.

The demon nods as the magician exits.

..........

It was Jackie who knocked on Anti's door later that day. "Hey Anti I brought you a gift."

Anti answers the door immediately. "Oh I have a gift for you too"

Jackie flinches he needs to one up him again. "I got you some spicy lollipops. It's kind of funny since they're called the toe of satan." He hands over a few boxes of candy.

Anti smiles and hands Jackie a knitted mask. "This is for when you go out being a hero in the winter. I don't want you to freeze out there."

Jackie blushes and quickly looks away. "Thank you Anti that's so sweet."

"Also even though you're not my master, Jackie I want to make sure you're healthy, so please don't bind your chest so much. If you need help just ask." Anti smiles softly handing Jackie a scarf with the trans flag stitched into it.

Jackie looks close to tears. "T-thank you Anti I'll try..... uh may I come in?" He asks clutching the scarf close to his chest.

Anti opens the door gesturing Jackie in who quickly rushes in closing the door behind them. "Uh what can you help me with exactly?" He looks down embarrassed

Anti tilts his head. "For one remove those breasts so you don't keep harming yourself. I can do other things but I need permission from master Marvin. I'm not allowed to use magic without permission."

Jackie's eyes widen. "You would do that for me? Anti that's amazing."

Anti nods tapping his fingers against the superheros chest. Jackie's chest feels lighter, and the binder feels looser. "There that's the most I can do without permission. Sorry it isn't much."

Jackie just looks stunned, and can only cry overflowed with emotions. He hugs the demon with all his strength, even with the super strength Anti isn't phased.

"Anti thank you so much. Oh I have to make this up to you." Jackie shouts running out of the room.

Anti just mumbles. "I didn't do much. You don't have to do anything." He feels a growing pit of dispar in his stomach, and he doesn't understand why. Maybe it was because he was a demon, and demons don't deserve kindness. He pushed down the feeling, he needed to do what he wanted. He wants to feel love, but he doesn't know how, so he's going to continue to crochet. Chase needed a new sweater.

.........

Marvin knocked on Anti's door before entering. "Uh hello Anti how are you doing?" The magic fueled man looks around, and spots an crochet cave and Anti laying down in it looking upset.

"I'm sorry master I used magic without your permission." Anti huffy looking exhausted. He didn't realize just using a little would harm him like this.

"Oh Anti that's fine you can use any magic as long as you're not harming anyone..." Marvin was about to ask if that is why Anti is upset, but he is answered immediately by the glitch perking up looking like a happy kitten drawing out of his den.

The demon laches onto Marvin with a tight hug. "Thank you master Marvin... I forgot I couldn't use magic without permission, thank you for giving me permission. Oh I can heal faster now thank you."

Marvin stops and looks at the demon who has moved purring on the bed. He couldn't heal because he wasn't allowed to use his magic without permission. Just what kind of contract did Marvim take? He just wanted to punch the person who made this contract.

......

In his room JJ sneezed.

.......

The next day Jackie was on cloud nine, Shneep was discussing Anti with Marvin, JJ was writing a script for a new short, and Robbie was drawing with crayons. This was all fine until Chase yelled in shock and some fear.

"Fooking ell Anti what are you doing... IS THAT A FUCKING CHEETAH." Chase screams running inside.

Anti was standing outside holding a Cheetah who was purring and licking the demons head. "Guys I found a kitten." The glitch says with a smile plastered on his face.

The rest of the egos looked shocked.

"Uh Anti where did you find that?" Jackie asks standing in front of the others.

"Oh I went down south, and found her" Anti giggles.

"Uh Anti she doesn't belong here could you bring her back to her own home." Marvin asks slowly.

Anti nods. "Sure thing master Marvin, her name is candy." He teleports away with the cheetah.

"So Anti has a thing for all things felines." JJ has written down showing it to the group.

"Yeah I really hope he doesn't bring them inside the house. " Chase sighs.

"Big kitty." Robbie smiles.

"Yeah big kitty Robbie." Shneep replies.

"I'll talk to Anti about this." Marvin mumbles still reeling.

......

After Anti returned Marvin had a long talk with the demon setting down ground rules which went over well enough.

Things were going well enough... until Jack came to visit. Which was unusual just unexpected. Marvin quickly rushed Anti into the demon's room slamming the door.

"Is Marvin ok? Jack asks listening to the slam.

Chase speaks up grabbing Jack's shoulder. "Ah yeah he's great we're just excited about the new short dude. JJ said you're trying to add us into it." He says a bit too quickly bringing Jack into the living room.

Shneep runs after the pair. "Yes Sean I was wondering if we could add a medical section." He adds looking back seeing Marvin closing Anti's door.

Jack nods at the pair. "Sure sure, let's go over some plans JJ and I have been going over. Hey Marvin you going to join us?"

"Yeah Jack sure thing." Marvin yells dragging Jackie with him.

"Uh before we start who did you push into the vacant room Marvin?" Jack asks watching Marvin freeze.

"Ah nobody important don't worry yourself Jack." Marvin says with a nervous smile.

Jack looks over to Jackie who immeditally tells the truth. "It was Anti we didn't want you to see him."

All the egos besides Jackie. "JACKIE."

"I'm sorry guys I can't lie you know this." Jackie sighs.

Jack is taken aback. "Now how did you even keep that demon stable.... he's not going to try to possess me again is he?" He asks nervousness lacing is voice.

Marvin scratches the back of his head. "Uh I don't think he remembers how to."

"He is injured...." Shneep mutters.

"He brought a kitty." Robbie smiles.

"He's not a bad guy anymore." Jackie looks away.

Jack frowns looking confused. "Ok let's roll back please explain everything. I haven't been here for like three months."

Marvin clears his throat and begins to explain.

Jack sighs. "So I see Anti doesn't remember anything, and he is actually disfigured... ah geez how long jas this been going on."

"Only a few months really, but Anti has wanted to meet you he made you a bunch of sweaters and hats." Jackie mumbles.

"He did? He wants to meet me?" Jack pauses and takes a deep breath. "Ok let him down."

Marvin nods. "Ok Anti could you come down?" With that question the demon appears next to Jack.

"Yes master Marvin... oh hello you must be Jack. Hello how are you doing?" Anti bows in a greeting.

"Uh hello Anti yes I am Jack." Jack's mind is racing, so Anti really has changed. "Ok so how would you like to be in this short the fans would love it."

"Would that be alright master Marvin." Anti asks Marvin who looks at Jack who nods.

"Yes Anti you can." Marvin smiles

Anti beams sitting next to Jackie on the couch waiting for ideas to be toss around.

.......

It was a productive meeting throwing around video ideas. Jack now felt comfortable going to and from the ego world back to his own home. He just needed to do research on demons because Anti is just weirding him out. Well at least this video will be a great one.

.......

Now that Jack knew about Anti, and the iplier egos had a rough idea, Marvin was more concerned with the actual iplier egos coming over soon.... he was worried that most of all Dark would use Anti. For now he hoped that day wouldn't come.

Right now Anti was attempting to catch a spider on the ceiling. He was like a over active kitten with supernatural abilities.

"Hey Marvin I told Bing about y'know..... he wants to come over tomorrow... if that's alright." Chase interrupts Marvin's thoughts.

"Uh sure Chase Bing is always welcomed here." Marvin responds tiredness laced his tone. Since when did he become the leader of the house that was Shneep's job.

"Cool bro thanks. Hey Anti can you be player three tomorrow." Chase smiles as Anti gives a thumbs up from the ceiling.

........

"Dude so Anti you have no memory right?" Bing asks the demon who's lounging on the floor.

"Yeah I don't really remember anything." Anti responds boredly looking up at the android.

"Ah damn I wanted to ask you something.... oh well dude let's get to gaming right Chase?" Bing gives a mechanical sigh as his parts whirl.

Anti looks at Bing with a curious gaze, but returns to look at the screen controller lazily in his hand. "Ok I'm ready."

Chase smiles. "Ok dudes lets go."

They proceed to play smash for hours. Anti enjoying hearing the two men's laughter.

[askanonbinary]

AskANonbinary FAQ (prod at me through the inbox if you think this list needs to be added to/ altered)

Last edited 09/07/2018

1. What is gender?

There is no easy answer to this question. Gender is a complex concept. It may be a combination of physical, mental, emotional, and psychological feelings. Either or both gender dysphoria and gender euphoria can play a part in your relationship to gender - or neither might. You can try looking through sites like genderislike to get an idea of the different relationships we all have with gender, but there is no easy explanation to what gender is and no easy way for you to pinpoint what yours is.

2. I am experiencing [list of gender related things]; what am I?

Nobody can define you except for you. You can find a list of helpful genders/terms in our glossary. Genderfluidsupport also has an expansive glossary of just gender terms that you can look through. There are also two wikis you can use: the gender wiki and the nonbinary wiki. We can help narrow down some choices, but you have to be the one to pick a label(s) or disregard labels altogether. You may also choose to create your own label(s). Gender is not a diagnosis, though, which is why only you can say for sure who you are.

3. Am I nonbinary if I do/don’t experience/do [x]?

All that being nonbinary means is that you do not 100% only identify as a woman or 100% only identify as a man. Being nonbinary/trans is not defined by having dysphoria, your desired level of transition (if any), pronouns, titles, clothes, presentation, expression, or name. And because of this, nobody but you can decide or determine if you are nonbinary/trans.

4. Ok so I want to explore my gender identity, what now? AKA, advice for questioning folks:

The tumblr transgenderteensurvivalguide has a “What Am I?” masterpost where they list some ways to deal with questioning and how to move on from there, and we have a tag dedicated to answers and advice related to questioning your gender. Basically, what do you want to do to explore your gender? You can try: different hair lengths/styles, tucking/binding, different style clothes, experimenting with names/pronouns/gender titles, walking/holding your body differently, etc. You can do these privately in your own room. You can ask family/friends to refer to you differently on different days. You can plan a day to go out and see how strangers read you when you change these things. It’s totally up to you.

5. Can I call myself trans if I am [x]/nonbinary?

If you do not 100% identify as only the gender you were assigned at birth, then yes. Nonbinary falls under the trans umbrella.

6. Can I identify as just nonbinary/genderqueer/trans?

Yes! Microlabels and more specific labels are great but they are not necessary! Plenty of people identify as just nonbinary/genderqueer/trans and nothing further. You do not owe anyone anything further, including yourself. Nonbinary/genderqueer/trans are both specific and umbrella terms.

7. I don't feel like I'm [something] enough to be nonbinary/am I allowed to identify as nonbinary?

There is no test you have to pass nor bar you have to reach to be nonbinary “enough”. If you are nonbinary, then you are nonbinary enough. If you do not 100% identify with only being a girl/woman OR 100% identify with only being a boy/man, then you can identify as nonbinary.

8. How can I tell if I’m faking it or if I’m really nonbinary?

If you’re worried you’re faking it, then you’re not faking it. People who are faking it (who have got to be such a minority that this is not really a thing) 100% know they are faking it because they are doing it on purpose. What you are feeling is self-doubt brought on by living in a cisnormative and exorsexist/transphobic society that insists you can only be one specific gender, preferably the one randomly and coercively assigned to you at birth and denies the existence of nonbinary people altogether. There is nothing wrong with exploring your gender. It can take years worth of time to really come to grips with, understand, and accept being nonbinary thanks to lack of visibility, representation, resources, accept, and support. That doesn’t make you a faker - it makes you human.

One way to think of this is that your mind is basically gaslighting you, making it harder for you to accept your gender feelings (whatever they end up pointing to), in accordance with what society has taught you must be true about (your) gender. You need to work hard on recognizing these thoughts as unhealthy and unhelpful. Realize when they come about, then specifically combat them with reminders that you are allowed to question and explore and that nonbinary is a real (and vast and diverse) and valid identity. You can also utilize the coping mechanisms found below in the question “How can I cope with dysphoria?” to help you on your path to self-acceptance.

9. How do I come out to my parents/friends/partners/school?

Every situation is unique and will require you to make some decisions on how and when you want to come out. Keep in mind that you do not owe it to anyone to come out to them. If you do not feel safe enough doing so, are not ready to do so, or plain do not want to do so, you do not have to come out. That said, you can peruse our coming out tag for an assortment of tips.

Coming out as nonbinary will require some explanation on your part, so first and foremost, be ready to help define what your gender means to you. You may find some helpful references to give your loved ones to help them understand what nonbinary means by lifeoutsidethebinary (warning that there may be some outdated/cissexist language, but they will be good starters for family.

Here is a masterpost of tips for coming out by transgenderbenders covering ways to come out, when to come out (and not), and self-care afterwards. EverydayFeminism also has a step-by-step list of how to come out and what to think about when you are preparing to do so.

For coming out to teachers/professors/staff at school, it can be best and easiest on you to either email all the appropriate teachers/staff yourself or email the principal and ask them to forward it onto the appropriate teachers/staff. In the email, just explain how you are registered and how you should be referred to instead. Thegenderbook has provided a template email that you can work with and edit for your specific situation.

One of the most important tips on coming out, imo, is to do what makes you most comfortable. Pick a place and time to come out where you are most comfortable (is that a secret spot in the park, at home when only one parent is home, etc.). If you have someone you’re out to, you can ask them to be with you to provide support or make sure they’re available to contact afterwards just in case you need. If you prefer to express yourself through writing, then write whomever a note or text. If you would prefer to say how you feel, then come out in person or over the phone. It’s alright to come out with a good luck charm in your pocket or cuddling a stuffed animal. It’s alright to have some comfort food around to help give you something to fidget with and stuff in your mouth if you’re rambling.

Finally, if you need/want to come out but think/know doing so will put you in a dangerous situation, prepare for that. Your safety counts! Maybe you need to talk with a friend to see if them or their family can give you a place to stay for a few nights. Maybe you want to come out in a crowded area or someplace where people are around in case you need to call for help. Maybe you make sure to come out someplace with several exits available in case you need to run away. Maybe you ask a friend to be with you or stay nearby to help you out if need be. Don’t downplay your fears - expect the best but prepare for the worst.

Coming out is your experience, so you do what you need to in order to be as comfortable and safe as possible.

10. What is dysphoria/what does it feel like?

Dysphoria is a feeling of unease or dissatisfaction. When we talk about being nb/trans, this often refers to “gender dysphoria”, which means a feeling of unease/dissatisfaction in regards to your gender. This can manifest as physical, social, and/or mental dysphoria.

Physical dysphoria is a dislike or discomfort with your genitalia, body shape, body type, or any other physical features. Social dysphoria is a dislike or discomfort with how people perceive you, your name, your pronouns, your titles, or any other discomfort you may have with your gender that is not just your looks. Mental dysphoria is categorized as anxiety and depression surrounding gender identity or gender assigned at birth. 

Dysphoria can manifest in a variety of ways. It may be a feeling of itchiness or fuzziness or pain associated with certain things. It may be discomfort or disliking. It may come in the form of depression/anxiety. It may be a feeling of dissociation, feeling as though you are not really in your body or you are not really the person someone is talking/referring to or a general feeling of floating or disconnect from your body/self. It may be a persistent feeling or it may come and go. You may experience a variety of symptoms at different levels.

11. How can I cope with dysphoria?

Depending on what type of dysphoria you’re experiencing and what it’s triggered by, there can be ways for you to try and cope with dysphoria.

To generally cope with dysphoria and try to enter a better mindspace, you may find guided meditation (or meditation in general) helpful. If you know or have/are practicing Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), its techniques can also be helpful in addressing your dysphoria and coping with it. There are many apps on both the app store and the play store that can help you with both of these if you cannot see a professional. Insight Timer (android and osx) is an app for guided meditation and Pacifica (android and osx) is an app for CBT and guided meditation. However, if you are prone to dissociation, hallucinations, psychosis, or paranoia, stay away from typical mindfulness and seek out mindfulness practices that will not trigger negative reactions specifically meant for people who dissociate or otherwise can’t practice typical mindfulness.

Playing around and changing your appearance so that you cover/hide/transform features you are upset with can help you feel better. You can browse our passing and androgynous tags for various tips on how to find an appearance you are more comfortable with.

Finding people who understand what you’re going for and hearing validation about yourself can also help you cope with dysphoria. You can find other nonbinary/trans people through tumblr, a forum, genderfork (a hub for genderqueer folk), your local QSA, or even a dating app. You may be able to find queer meetups through the app meetup. Thurst (which is specifically queer-oriented), Her, and Mesh are all meant to be gender-inclusive dating apps that you might be able to make some friends through. You may find it validating to see others like you on places like genderfork, to get to read your name/gender/pronouns correctly by using the Pronoun Dressing Room (it inserts you into some stories to give you a feel of how your name/gender/pronouns sound), or just plain getting to hear some amazing and validating things about yourself using your name/pronouns by blogs like name-valid.

12. Is it normal/okay to experience/feel/think [x]?

You can ask yourself two simple questions to help determine this. One: why are you wary of these feelings/thoughts. If it is simply because they are new or unexpected, then that’s probably your answer. It can take some time to adjust to new experiences sometimes. And, two: do these feelings/thoughts hurt anybody, especially others (as dysphoric feelings may be harmful to you but that doesn’t make you bad for experiencing dysphoria)? If you’re wary of these feelings/thoughts because they are potentially harmful to others, then you may need to further analyze the root of these experiences and confront them. If not, then the answer to question one is probably your answer. Give yourself a little time to understand and come to terms with your new feelings. It’s okay to be confused and need time to introspect and feel.

13. I’ve told someone I go by [name/pronouns], but they are still misgendering me. How can I get them to stop?

If you want to give them a chance (or cannot, for whatever reason, cut them out), sit them down, and explain that what they’re doing is harming you. Then, start aggressively correcting them. Anytime they misgender you and use the wrong name/gender/pronoun, interrupt and correct them, then tell them to continue. If they continue to misgender you and it is at all possible, you can cut them out of your life. Someone who does not make a concerted and consistent effort to respect you and your identity does not respect you, and they are not worth your time.

14. Can I call myself [X thing/gender/sexuality]?

While your labels are up to you, words do have meaning, and you need to think about what it is you want to communicate with the world? Does the term you’re debating really say what you want it to say? If the word describes you best, you’re comfortable with it, and you believe it is appropriate for you to use, then yes! You define yourself.

15. What sexuality am I if I am [gender/s] and like [gender/s]?

As nonbinary folk, it can be hard to navigate the world of gendered sexualities. That’s why others like us have worked on creating more gender neutral sexuality terms! Fiftywives has compiled a list of terms that describe different attractions nonbinary people may experience and some terms that have been coined to describe them. Temp-nb-blog has as well, though their list is not as well sorted as fiftywives’. Princetenjolras wrote up the origin and use of diamoric for those interested, which may help you understand some of the terms, as well get you excited to use them. As well, you may also choose to go by whatever binary term you prefer/find most descriptive/feel connected to and comfortable with. This is your life, your identity: you define it.

16. What are some gender neutral titles [in place of sir/ma’am, parental titles, aunt/uncle terms, words for kids, etc.]?

You can find all sorts of alternative titles (family, official, relationship, royal, etc.) here by genderqueeries.

17. What does [x] term mean?

You can probably find it in our glossary. If not, feel free to ask/request we add it to our glossary. We also recommend the glossaries at genderfluidsupport, the gender wiki, and the nonbinary wiki.

18. Do you have any tips for [x]?

Probably! Please look through our appropriate tags to see if there’s any tips you’ll find helpful: resource (general resources for a variety of topics), questioning (advice for people confused and questioning their gender/identity), passing (for passing a specific gender tips; you can also try the more specific binding or tucking tags), androgynous (for tips on an androgynous look), dysphoria (for coping with dysphoria), long hair (how to style long hair for specific desired looks, typically masculinizing it), make up (make up tips for matching shade, drawing on facial hair, etc.), coming out (how and when to come out), and hrt (facts about hrt).

19. Do you give medical advice?

I’m sorry, but no. Please talk with an appropriate medical professional about your question. MyTransHealth and SpectrumScores may help you find trans friendly medical providers near you. PlannedParenthood may also be a good place to start, as they are meant for low-income folks, will work with people - including minors - in abusive/dangerous situations to get them medical care on the down low if at all possible, and have shown themselves to be trans friendly. You can check our therapy tag for more advice relating to mental health issues and finding the right therapist.

[transgirljasongrace]

ive been holding off on making a post like this but its been way too long, honestly. this shit needs to be said because being told that im not a man or that im not man enough by other trans men is extremely painful, and, believe it or not, it happens to me a lot more than you'd probably imagine. why, you ask? the answer is simple! (cough toxic masculinity cough) it's because i have a feminine personality and i cant physically transition. i will not explain why. because that is my business and no one else's. i dont bind, either, because of sensory issues -- though, i'll say again, i shouldnt have to explain my personal choices to anyone, especially not other trans people. so, to get into the meat of it, if you're a trans dude like me, just... listen. if you cant transition physically, thats okay. if you dont want to transition physically, thats okay. you arent less of a man. those curves, if you have them, are a man's curves. your long lashes, if you have them, are a man's eyelashes. your round face and narrow shoulders, if you have them, are a man's face and a man's shoulders. your thick thighs and round belly, if you have them, are a man's thighs and a man's belly. i dont care if you are 4'5 or 6'10, you are a man. i don't care if you weigh 120 or 350, you are a man. i dont care if you wear frilly pink dresses or tailored black tuxes, you. are. a. man. you will never belong to anyone but you. your shapes, your hobbies, your soul, your heart, those things belong to you, regardless of what people think of them. your shapes are a man's shapes. your heart is a man's heart. we are brothers in this. you dont owe me any "proof" of masculinity and you don't owe it to anyone else either. so, whether its your wallet telling you you cant transition, your medical history causing difficulties and stopping you, or just your heart telling you that its not time or that your body is fine the way it is, you are not less of a man. you never could be. because being a trans man isnt a race of who can look more like a cis man first, its an experience of transitioning to a life of living as a man. its the experience of knowing in your heart that you are a man and doing what you can to find contentment and happiness with yourself, your life, your body. nobody gets to police that. i will tell you that a million times. all people are brought into this world as their own person, with their own mind and heart and soul. all people are different, and yes, this includes men, despite what cis masculinity and the toxic culture surrounding it may tell you. all men should be given access to a world where they can express their emotions and express themselves through their clothes and bodies. this includes you. nobody knows your soul the way you do. nobody else can determine what you are but you. regardless of how feminine inside or out you are, trans men are men. you, my friend, are a man. no one else gets to decide that, and you will always, always, always, have a place by me. i know this is probably extremely long-winded, but being misgendered and dismissed by men who are supposed to be like me is... painful. more than that. i can handle cis men telling me im less than them because transphobia colors most things that i experience in my social life, but hearing it from other queers is heartbreaking, and hearing it from other trans men feels... incomparable to anything. the hopelessness and anger and the sadness that i cannot possibly put into words is.. horrible. its horrible. so, youve heard it here: you are a man. dont listen to truscum or transmedicalists that would tell you otherwise. dont listen to terfs. and dont listen to internalized transphobia. seek your happiness. listen to your heart and to your body. i believe in you.

[moxymoron]

Let me spill some honesty on y’alls dash today.

“Just because you don’t suffer, doesn’t mean you’re invalid!” Like, yes the fuck it does. Apply that mentality to any other disorder. Take OCD for that example. I suffer from OCD. A disorder. It impacts my life negatively, rendering it to be real via diagnosis. I suffer from dysphoria. A disorder. It impacts my life negatively, rendering it to be real via diagnosis. You get diagnosed, you get treatment. Treatment for dysphoria is transitioning. Treatment for OCD is therapy. It’s all on a medical standpoint. You can’t be trans without dysphoria because the whole point in transitioning is to treat your dysphoria. Dysphoria and OCD are both medical disorders. While discomfort from either one doesn’t impact me daily, they still cause me loads of trouble. Being transgender comes with dysphoria. Calling yourself transgender without having dysphoria is equal to self-diagnosing (Which is NEVER okay). Self diagnosing makes doctors suspicious of people who genuinely have issues, making treatment harder and harder to receive.

“I’m valid because I like pronouns that don’t fit my assigned gender at birth!” That means you like the appeal of a word/name/label. I like other people’s names and shit too but you don’t see me using it for the fuck of it. 

“I’m trans but I don’t wanna be on hormones or dress outside of my birth gender.” This is contradictory. To transition, you alter yourself by HRT or changing your clothing style to suit your gender. Trans means transgender. Transgender means transitioning to another gender. You cannot transition without changing yourself outside of your pronouns/name. 

“Every trans person transitions differently!” I absolutely agree! Some trans men grow out their facial hair and some don’t. Some trans women dress very feminine and others dress more butch. ‘Transitioning differently’ doesn’t include solely changing your name/pronouns. While a change in name and pronouns are an important step in transition, you can’t select to do just those actions and proceed to call yourself transgender. 

“Dysphoria is just a concept!” Please PLEASE do not say this. As explained previously, gender dysphoria is a medical disorder. It can cause depression, anxiety, mood swings, and many more mental health issues. Mental health issues are not a concept. Before I started testosterone, I suffered from severe depression. Testosterone allowed my mental health to drastically improve with very rare sights of depression. HRT can cause changes in your mental state and even could change your sexuality (Eg. I used to be pansexual. Through the power of HRT and proper education, I’m now gay.) If you’re non-dysphoric and you attempt to begin HRT, you WILL get dysphoria and a decline in mental health! This is because the body responds negatively to anything that doesn’t belong in it. My body positively handles testosterone because it’s right for me! I am male, my body knows it. Your body knows what it needs and what it doesn’t. It’s part of having a brain. If the thought of HRT makes your body uncomfortable, you are not transgender.

“I’ll lie to my doctor and be on hormones for a few months to get just a few changes, then.” Let me say it loud and clear. Do not. You can’t pick and choose what symptoms you’ll get from hormone therapy. Hormones will change everyone’s body at a different pace and in a different way. I don’t know why I need to explain this because you’ve all gone through puberty. All of your friends’ bodies changed differently during puberty. Hormones are like a second puberty. Not to mention that some of the effects of HRT are irreversible no matter if/when you decide to stop. Alterations like bone structure changes, genital changes, and facial hair increase/decrease are most often permanent. You can’t go on hormones “for a bit” just to lower your voice a tiny bit because there’s so many other symptoms you’ll get that can’t be reverted. Also, never lie to a medical professional just to get something you want and don’t really need. It makes medicine for people with REAL issues difficult to receive. Prices also go up based on demand. So you’re costing real trans people more money and you’re making their treatment ridiculously difficult to get.

“I don’t have to dress according to my pronouns!” Okay then. Fake having he/him pronouns and get misgendered on a constant. I’m sure you’ll complain about it later, saying some utter crap like, “Ugh! Why don’t people see me as a boy? I have male pronouns!” If you get clocked, you get clocked. If you don’t want to be clocked/misgendered, then put more effort into looking like your desired gender. This is not to say that men can’t dress fem or that women can’t dress masc. There’s a bold difference between the two points. Take male makeup gurus for example. While they apply makeup, they’re still men because they sound like men. They look like men. They’re obviously men. Having male pronouns, having a high voice, dressing in skirts, wearing makeup, not binding, and wearing crop tops will make people see you as female. Sounding and appearing as female will make people see you as female. They’re not bigots for it. As my grandmother would say, “Shit or get off the pot.” In this context, be genuinely trans or stop faking it.

“This post is gatekeeping!” If addressing these issues in defense of the actual trans community makes me a gatekeeper, then so be it sweetheart. Trans people are sick and fucking tired of being looked down upon due to people who use MOGAI identities and neopronouns. It makes us look insane and that’s why we get made fun of. I want to be seen as an equal by cis men. I don’t need their validation. I don’t need anyone’s validation. I’m cool as fuck. I can’t tell y’all how often I make male friends online, only to have them be surprised that I’m not one of the cringy ones. People have deadass said that to me. I’m just a dude. A guy being a dude, if you will. A man. And I will be damned if the rest of the trans community continues to get shit on because of these fake trans people. We are real. We will be respected and taken seriously. And together we will put an end to the bullshit stigmas.