#my parents and both sets of grandparents were each together 40+ years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

creampuffqueen · 8 months

Text

Mal's Future Sukka Headcanon Timeline! (Part 2)

okay, gonna be real, i thought i would be able to fit the whole timeline into one post. i should have known better lmao

Part 1

same disclaimers still stand. this is the last part of the timeline, talking about their last kids, Sokka serving on the Republic City council, and how it all ties in to tlok

(small TW for mentions of a stillbirth. but not quite a stillbirth? it gets reversed. read more for an explanation lmao)

but life has one last surprise in store for them

if you've read my fic 'broken jars' you'll know the story of the twins. if you haven't, i'll summarize the events real quick

Suki is pregnant with twins, but doesn't know. since she doesn't know, she doesn't get quite the proper care needed for a person pregnant with twins

this means that, when she gives birth, the first baby is perfectly healthy. a baby girl they name Kolla

and then she gives birth to another baby. a little boy who is not so healthy

he's stillborn

Sokka and Suki are utterly devastated

holding their baby boy together under the light of the full moon, a miracle takes place

a stripe of his hair turns pure white. and he begins to cry

they're both aware of what just happened: Yue saved their son

they name the baby boy Hakoda, after his grandfather, who unfortunately at this point has passed away. he ends up going by the nickname 'Koda' for the most part, though

after the rather traumatic birth of the twins, Sokka and Suki both agree that they're Done having kids. they likely were anyway, considering they're both in their 40s at this point, but they take extra steps and precautions to assure that they're done until Suki goes into menopause

but after taking their time to recover, they're happy to be a family of 14. the kids are all amazing older siblings (the oldest few have had lots of practice at this point) and life is good

then, when the twins are about 6 months old, Aang writes Sokka a letter to propose an idea to his best friend

he wants Sokka to serve at the SWT representative in Republic City

it doesn't take much for Sokka to be convinced. and Suki is right with him, as always

the family up and moves to Republic City

however, the eldest three, Yuki, Saya, and Umari, decide not to go with them. They're all adults now, and can take care of themselves. they like their lives on Kyoshi island, and don't want to move

it's the first time the family has ever separated, and it's hard for the parents to realize that their babies are growing up

but they raised them well, and they know they can look after themselves and each other

Sokka serves on the council for 10 years

as the kids grow up, they all begin to fly the nest. some return to Kyoshi island. Some head to the SWT. Others set out on their own adventures throughout the world (Iknik, i'm looking at you)

after Sokka's service is done, they move back to Kyoshi

now it's time for Suki to take a stab at leadership! she gets elected as mayor of Kyoshi, where she also spends about 10 years

and then she and Sokka decide they've really done enough, and opt to retire on Kyoshi island

of course, spoiling their many, many grandkids

now, i mentioned that one of their kiddos is Senna! which makes their granddaughter the avatar!

but mal, you cry, wouldn't Korra know about Sokka and Suki being her grandparents?

well, not necessarily. she was kept in a compound in the SWT for most of her life. she hardly saw her own parents. i don't think it's much of a stretch to say she wouldn't have a relationship with her grandparents, either

but also, i'm just gonna go ahead and say suspend some of your disbelief. it's more fun

and then, of course, we sadly must talk about the end of Sokka and Suki's lives

i have two endings. one very angsty, one not

for Angst: i saw a theory online about this. Zaheer was a nonbender member of the Red Lotus. In theory, he wouldn't need to be kept in a specialized prison, since he didn't have bending abilities. so why was he kept so freaking locked up?

the answer: he killed someone very, very important

hearing that there were threats against their granddaughter, Sokka and Suki didn't hesitate to come help protect her

Suki died defending her granddaughter. she was killed by Zaheer. After the death of his beloved wife, Sokka took it upon himself to ensure that Zaheer would never hurt anyone ever again, locking him away in the highest security prison he could design

and it was very hard for Sokka to see his granddaughter after. he was only able to remember what he lost

ouch

anyway, here's the less angsty ending lmao

Sokka died peacefully in his sleep, sometime before or very soon after Korra was born

and honestly at this point, travel was difficult for Suki. so she has just stayed put on Kyoshi island, living out her retirement in peace

so there we go!! SUKKA my beloved!!

hope everyone enjoyed my nonsense timeline lol. next i'll be posting some character designs for the kiddos, as well as some stuff about their personalities/individual stories!

and last but not least, a quick age layout for the kids so y'all can see age gaps and stuff

Yuki- 23

Saya- 22

Umari- 20

Kyiasa- 18

Akedi- 15

Kannaa- 13

Baatar- 10

Senna- 8

Iknik- 7

Kio- 5

Kolla and Hakoda- newborn

#atla #sukka #sokka x suki #sokka #suki #future family #sukka kids

0 notes

wizkiddx · 4 years

Text

ruining the plan isn't always so bad

you can tell whenever I have really important things to be doing in my life - bcos instead I will spend hours writing for no apparent reason ah kmn ;///

tomhollandxreader - pure fluffffff

Summary: tried to base off when Dom and Sam surprised Tom shooting a couple of years back- but this time they got Y/n with them too

(I don't own the pic nor claim to ...idk how to do this crediting bit sorry :/)

The plan was in place. Tom was really struggling with homesickness on set of his newest film. No real reason why; just long hours, living out of a hotel room, half the world away from ‘home’. Harry was always flying out to join Tom as his ‘assistant’ however after a pretty heart-wrenching phone call Tom had made to Y/n, while she was hanging around with Haz and Harry at the Holland’s house... the plans had changed somewhat. He just seemed so distant and run down, when Nikki got her turn on the phone she instantly knew that they had to do something. Naturally then, putting her superior organising skills to good use she arranged for Dom, Sam and Y/n to accompany Harry to Atlanta; and surprise Tom there.

The way the last minute booking happened meant that Harry, Sam and Dom were all flying out on the same flight (though Harry was in first class, while the surprise guests were in economy). Y/n, because of her university timetable, couldn’t leave till a bit later, so was on a plane 2 hours after the Hollands - it wouldn’t make that much difference and if anything would prolong the joy of the excitement for Tom. They, meaning Harry who was oddly invested in the intracacies and details, had been brainstorming different ways to do the reveal- not sure whether to just do it in the hotel when Harry would be meeting Tom anyway, or waiting and surprising him when they were out for dinner or in a bar. Eventually they’d decided it would just be easier to have Harry, Dom and Sam just meet him at the hotel- then take him out to dinner, allowing time for Y/n’s later expected time of arrival, where she would then appear at the restaurant.

Ever since Harry had let Tom know that he’d landed (if half an hour late), Tom had been excitedly texting him back constantly. The pair had agreed that Tom would simply meet him in Harrys hotel room when he got back from set. Yet when the time came, Sam and Dom were hiding just further down the corridor- waiting in the corridor. From their hideaway a couple of metres down the way from Tom and Harry, the obvious exctiement they could hear when Tom arrived and the two reunited warmed Dom’s heart. He just loved his sons all being so close- it was perhaps what he was most proud of as a parent. Especially after witnessing both Harrison and Y/n loose a parent, he knew if god forbid anything happened to him and Nikki - they had each others backs completely. Sam was excitedly shifting from foot to foot hearing his brothers - Dom just subtly shook his head at the endearing nervous energy, clearly Sam was impatient for his turn. The idea was Sam would knock first then Dom, so after allowing a short time of just Tom and Harry reuniting, Sam pranced down the hallway and knocked. Yet it wasn’t Tom who flung the door open to Sam as per the scheme, instead his fuzzy haired twin.

“Harry what the fuck” Sam mouthed, daring to glance over his shoulder to attempt to spot Tom - annoyed at his brother for getting in the way.

“He’s on the shitter, change of plan bring Dad in.” Harry whisper-explained, making Sam roll his eyes at Tom unintentionally ruining his own surprise, before retreating to the hallway and beckoning his dad in. Dom pulled an equally bemused face until Harry filled him and he chuckled - earning him a harsh shush from both boys as they sat on the bed, facing the toilet door.

“So why did it take you so long to get here?” Tom asked through the thin loo wall, while Harry pushed his dad to sit further over on the bed.

“Oh ermm….they had some mix up with the luggage so we” Immediately getting slapped on the leg by his twin with a piercing glare, Harry corrected himself “I mean -I had to wait for like an hour and a half to get my suitcase. Then I think I had the worst taxi driver in the world like down country roads and all.”

“Yeh like that drive should take like 40 minutes I thought? But when you texted me saying just left” He paused as the sound of the toilet flushing and the sink turning on flooded through the room ”that must’ve been at least an hour ago”

“I guess” Harry replied, hearing the tap turn off while Sam ran his fingers through his hair yet again - an excited or nervous tick.

“So how is everyone? I tried to call Dad and Y/n today but-“ The door opened, the stream of light flooding into the main room. Tom stopped dead in his tracks, voice cutting off but mouth hanging agape, still clutching onto the doorhandle.

“Hello son”

Dom spoke softly as he stood up from his choreographed position on the bed. Only at his words did Tom believe this was actually reality and literally sunk to his knees at the boundary between the ensuite and bedroom. He was awash with pure emotion, mainly relief - this was the exact thing he really needed right now. His dad soon pulled him up and hugged him, Sam following close behind. Tom’s reaction was priceless, the few tears being more than enough of a tell to his family how much he had needed this.

It was an emotional reunion, there was a hell of a lot of hugs and suddenly the 14 hour journey was so worth it to Dom and Sam. Afterwards, they just all sat together on the bed and caught up on each others lives, Tom not really wanting to speak about himself - much preferring to hear all their stories from home about his mum and grandparents and the family that live down the road. He loved the normalcy of it.

That was until a voice grabbed the attention of the whole room and Harry inwardly and silently cursed himself - in all the excitement he’d left his phone on silent in his jacket pocket, which was hanging on the coat rack so he hadn’t even heard it vibrate.

“Harry pick up your phone!” An exasperated voice exclaiming from the hallway half caught the Hollands’ attention, their heads all spinning in unison to the wooden hotel room door. It started to jerk open as Y/n wrestled with her suitcase ”You’ve left your hotel room open you div.Anyway I’m just dropping my case in your room so please text me where to go because - ugh- because right now you could all be anywhere in Atlanta and I-”

The conversation within the room had died- all of them watching the petite brunette fight her way past the door with a silver suitcase that seemed ridiculously large and heavy for a weeks holiday. She had pressed her phone to her ear using her right shoulder and was wearing beige tracksuits a white crop top and a black leather jacket - as she grunted in frustration at the case, yanking it unceremoniously over the threshold. Subtly, Sam looked up at Tom, seeing his brothers eyes widen in shock, whole body turned completely rigid and Sam had to smile smugly - it was actually quite cute, even if he would never admit it to their faces. Y/n only stopped speaking into the receiver when her eyes finally darted into the room - noticing she had an audience.

“Oh.”

She stopped herself, pressing the end call button and pocketing her phone, whilst moving into the centre of the room. She shot an apologetic smile to Harry, knowing she’d technically ‘ruined’ his plan - though to be fair it wasn’t her fault he didn’t answer the phone; or that his flight had been delayed meaning he didn’t get Tom to the resturaunt at the agreed time. Actually she could blame it all on Harry. He just rolled his eyes back at her whilst she looked past him and onto the shellshocked face of her boyfriend.

Not being able to hide her grin, she halted at the foot of the bed, meanwhile Tom leant forward from the headboard - his eyes not leaving her. “You gonna say hi or am I just gonna stand here?” Y/n smirked, Tom still not moving from his shellshocked stance. Slowly her smirk morphed to a concerned look, eyebrows drawn inwards, as her look darted between Dom and Tom.

“Tom are you okay?” she tried speaking gently, but before she could push anymore he launched himself off the sofa and into her arms, Y/n barely staying upright. Then Tom started spinning her round and round all the while squeezing her as tightly as possible. Y/n squealed an ‘I love you’ into his ear , already knowing Tom wasn’t ready to talk yet- instead just pressing his face closer into her neck. After a short while Tom lowered her to the ground and pulled away enough for Y/n to see the smudged tears around his eyes. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and looked deep into his mahogany brown eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“I am now” he nodded jerkily, all the while inching his lips closer to hers. Both consciously aware of half the Hollands just viewing them, their kiss was fleeting and light - but made Tom’s heart want to burst.

“God I’ve missed your stupid face” She laughed, now her eyes filled with tears too. He let out a breathy chuckle in reply and used his thumb to wipe away a single droplet that escaped her eye.

“Missed yours more” her smile lit up the entirety of her face, such a natural glow across her face Tom shook his head slightly marvelling at her.

“Ohhkkkayyy well I don’t really want to witness the making of nieces and nephews”

“Harry” Dom warned in a disapproving tone, even if he did have to fight back the laughter. To be quite honest he’d really enjoyed seeing his son and almost adopted daughter reunite. Both him and Nikki absolutely loved their relationship, they just went together oh so well, whilst slightly reminding them both of their younger carefree days. Harry rolled his eyes at his dad before continuing.

“But shall we get dinner and then you can be alone all night” His eyebrows wiggled in such a manner Y/n swore she felt a little nauseous witnessing it.

“Harry stop!” Sam interjected, elbowing Harry harshly in the side, earning him a playful slap in return.

“Someone remind me why I’m paying the wrong twin to be my assistant?” Tom still hadn’t looked away from Y/n as he quipped a response at Harry, while Y/n was gently stroking up and down his cheeks with such a soft look in her eyes.

“Because I rejected it” Sam smirked, making Harry yell out in anguish-

“I was second choice?!?!”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Honestly just go play golf with your them! I have to do uni work anyway and-“

“But I don’t want to leave you! You’ve flown here too and I missed you.” Tom moaned, pressing a kiss into her hair from her position lying on his shoulder. Having slept uninterrupted for the first time in ages, Tom wasn’t even sure he wanted to venture away from Y/n and the bed at any point that day- even if it was for golf.

“Your dad and Sam are only staying for the weekend so make the most of it! Me and my uni work are happy here-“ Tom’s eyes once again bugged out his face, as he caught on to her slip up.

“How long are you staying?” Shit. That was another thing she’d spoiled - getting a reputation to be as bad as Tom. Harry was for sure going to kill her.

“Oh fuck sake… that was my second surprise ruined… I’ve booked a week and a half off from uni so I can look after my little baby boy”

“Y/n don’t joke with me please.” Tom sat up, forcing Y/n to too which she huffed a little at, disrupting her comfort. It had her sitting up straight so she could look him in the eye and resting her hand on his exposed abdomen, asserting her authority on him.

“I promise! My flights home next tuesday, but I’m missing uni so I have to be boring and keep up so it’s not a real holiday but-“

“I love you”

Tom smiled for Y/n could never not surprise him. University was so important to her - she was really dedicating her life to it, especially financially. So her managing to put it on hold to look after him in a time of need was testament to just how kind and caring she truly was.

“But you need to promise to look after yourself Tom. I haven’t seen bags under your eyes quite as impressive as this before. Think of your poor make up artists!” And she was back to being her usual sarky self.

“I feel like I should be offended?”

“Or you can learn. Now go get showered before they leave without you.” Finally ralling off his side, then pushing him forcefully so he half rolled off the side of the bed.

“Only if you shower with me.” The biggest smirk on his face, eyes wide and gleaming with mischief - which Y/n wanted to punch off so badly. On the other hand though, his idea didn’t sound half bad- letting him drag her up too.

5 or so hours later, Y/n had written her assignment due in for next week and had submitted it online- making her feel pretty darn put together. She knew the boys had got back from the golf, and from the WhatsApp group Tom wasn’t very happy about his performance, so he was going to be moody. After closing her laptop triumphantly she chucked it in her bag and grabbed the spare key card and roamed the corridors of the hotel to find Sam and Dom’s room - where they all where. Tom had messaged her to let her know they were filming Dom’s podcast, so she had to be stealthy in her entrance - since to the public they were still just good friends. The secret still wasn’t ‘out’ so to speak.

They’d left the door on the latch, allowing Y/n carefully pushing it open without making any noise. Immediately the golf-related bickering met her ears, while she peeked her head round the corner of the door. The four had set up armchairs by the window, with the camera balanced on top of a table and a stack of suitcases - in order for Harry to get the ‘perfect’ shot. Silently chuckling at the precarious arrangement, Y/n slid in through the door, turning round to gently close it shut again without noise.

As soon as Tom had seen the door opening he had jumped out of his chair, walking up to Y/n and wrapping his arms round her- pulling her back into his chest off camera. Whispering a silently ‘I love you’ he grinned at the girl who was now arching to look into his eyes. She mirrored his sentiments, placing a bottle of water in his hand while pushing him back into frame.

In reality, the whole of this podcast Tom had been attempting to summon energy in his body that was just not present. Don’t be mistaken, he had thoroughly enjoyed the time with his dad and brothers- but simply he only had today and tomorrow off filming for another 2 weeks, and the plan had been to stay as close to his bed as possible before the surprise happened. In all honestly, he caught his eyes drooping numerous times while they were filming the podcast- feeling safe in the surrounding of his family, the exhaustion was finally catching up to him.

Y/n spent the rest of their podcast hidden behind the camera, doing some extra research on Sam’s double bed - yet sometimes having to stifle a chuckle at the boys filming. It was perhaps another 25/ 30 minutes before they finished, during which there was a hell of a lot of spoilers that they only realised too late could not be included. She really really did try to focus on her work, yet instead she found her eyes being drawn to her boyfriend. He still looked shattered. All she really wanted to do was wrap him in a thick duvet and cuddle into his side. She even promised herself to only find his occasional snores endearing tonight, which was something she often struggled with normally.

So when the camera was clicked off, Y/n spent a short amount of time chatting with all the Hollands, before suggesting they went to their own respective rooms before dinner. Unconsciously, when Y/n had suggested it, out of pure relief, Tom leaned almost all his weight against her side - anchored by the strong clasp on her hand. Of course, Y/n noticed and practically pulled Tom down the hallway without saying a word. Only when she let go of the door of their room, allowing it to close with a small slam, did she speak her mind.

“You shower, I’m getting room service then movies in bed… no arguments Holland.” He stared at her ,mouth agape, a little taken aback by her assertiveness, typically the opposite of Y/n.

“I feel like you’ve just been inside all day, let me-“

“Nope. Nope. My holiday this is what I want… now shoo” She smirked, pushing him toward the ensuite door. Tom knew he did not have a choice in the matter, and even if he could possibly have some sort of influence- he was way too tired to argue.

Barely 15 minutes later, the two were wrapped cosily in the crisp white bedsheets, Tom with a small glass of a negroni cocktail and Y/n with her lime soda. Both were semi-reclined in a mound of pillows, yet Tom felt the need to also lean on her chest slightly. The familiarity of Y/n’s favourite movie ‘sunshine on leith’ playing on the screen, meant that within the first 10 minutes Tom was no longer alert. The smell of her perfume and the warmth of the duvet lulled him into a much needed slumber, making Y/n have to save the half-drunk negroni from spilling across the bedsheets as his grip relaxed. She just nestled in to the pillows further, a satisfied small grin dancing on her lips as she looked ahead at the TV, reducing the volume a little.

“Tom?…..Y/n?… Is anyone home?” A familiar voice sucked Y/n out from the next film ‘the greatest showman’, making her jump a little. Recognising it to be Dom instantly, Y/n had a mini argument in her head - whether to risk disturbing Tom by wriggling out from under him; or to call out instead, granting Dom independent entrance to the hotel room. It was possibly a bit of a weird position for her unofficial father-in-law to see his son and his girlfriend in, but she cared more right now about Tom resting than Dom’s opinions.

“Dom…. come in… it’s open I think.” Desperately trying to get the volume right - enough so Dom could hear, but not so much as to wake Tom she called out, craning her neck toward the door. Luckily almost immediately Dom let himself in, and quizzically walked in seeing Y/n in bed.

“Sorry… it’s just I didn’t want to disturb him” Nodding in understanding, Dom inspected the state of his grown up, yet childlike son, asleep on her shoulder.

“No no… he needs it. He always works himself raw for jobs but this…”

“It’s impressive even for him.” Y/n agreed, Dom noticing her unconscious stroking of his sons arm, soothing Tom as he slept.

“Well me and the boys were trying to phone you both because we are going for dinner-“

“Ah sorry my phones in my bag”

“No no it’s fine… just it looks like Tom could do with an extra hour or so.” Dom motioned again to the slumbering figure with his trademark small grin, finding the whole situation entirely heartwarming.

“I was planning on waking him up so we could all go to the pub this evening… but yeh skipping the dinner might be a plan. I know it’s your last night and all but-“

“-Don’t apologise Y/n. I’m glad you’re looking after the kid.” Y/n just smiled slightly, a small blush glowing from her cheeks. “I’ll um….leave you in peace… so maybe 9 o’clock? That gives you both 3 and a bit hours.”

“Sounds good!”Still speaking softly, Y/n freed one of her hands from the duvet and gave Dom a little wave as he exited the room giving a nod to her as the door closed.

It was a sign of the times. Dom used to be Tom’s go to whenever he was tires, frazzled or fed up. But now he had been superseded by a far superior option. A kind, beautiful, intellectual choice - that Dom would graciously accept defeat to.

He was awfully glad Tom had Y/n in his corner. And he was awfully glad he had found a surrogate daughter in Y/n too.

#tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland #tomholland #Harry Holland #fluff #Tom Holland tired #Tom Holland angst

307 notes · View notes

kbrock9146 · 4 years

Text

THIS IS A LONG, LONG STORY. PLEASE READ TO THE END TO UNDERSTAND THE MAGNITUDE OF WHAT HAPPENED. But it is a longgggggggg story.

Ok. Buckle up folks. Here comes some crazy content for you to enjoy during Quarantine. Shout out to @gothicmagpie for letting me know that they were interested. ❤❤❤ Here we go, it's going to be a bumpy ride, and a long story (and yes, I will answer any and all questions afterwards, no worries about offending me or anything).

First things first, here is a picture of my maternal grandparents (featuring the grandmother in question):

I do not know the date of the above picture, but my GF was born in 1895, and my GM, 1898. They were in their late 40s, early 50s in the above picture. That, I do know. My mother was born in 1941, when my GM was 42, and my GF was 45, and this picture was taken sometime after she had been born.

With me so far? Okay, good. So those wonderful people above, they are both on their second marriage by the time of that pic. My GF's first wife died in childbirth, and my GM's first husband had been killed in the coal yard he worked at when a dump truck full of coal backed up and unloaded the coal on top of him. My GF and GM were both single parents in the early 1900s - they were both struggling, and going through a multitude of situations - INCLUDING GOING TO THE MOTHER FUCKING POPE (YES, POPE!) SO THAT THEY COULD GET PERMISSION TO GET MARRIED (the reason for that is another story for ANOTHER time).

Anyhow, they get married, blend their children into one household, have three or four more, for a total of seven, my mom being the youngest. My GF dies in 1962 from damage he took at the Battle of the Argonne during World Word One (he dry-drowned in his sleep). This leaves my GM windowed, and she remains this way until her death.

**as an aside, my GF died right before my mom was to get married to my dad (she was 21, and dad 22, at the time); when my dad came over to stay with my mom's family for the funeral, my deceased GF came to my dad with a message, so this is something that just apparently happens in my family - of course, I knew none of this when I saw my GM decades later**

From my first meeting with my GM, and until her death, she looked pretty much exactly as she does in the pic above. The only thing that really changed was that after she broke her hip for the 2nd time, she was pretty much confined to a wheelchair until she died. But kindly, smiling, gentle, and always wearing basically a mumu, that was my GM until she passed away November 2nd, 1990.

That year, on November 14th, I turned 10. My birthday that year was a bit strained. My dad wasn't exactly phased by what had happened, and while my mom wasn't exactly in pieces over it - my GM had been very sick in her last years and in a nursing home - she was sad, and was trying her best to run a family while dealing with the loss. The situation was made even worse when the wife of her oldest brother (he was 30 when she was born), called and berated and shamed my mom for not coughing up more money for the funeral and burial. My mom was EXTREMELY upset. Out of her other six siblings, she was the only one with a child under 25 at that time (remember, I was 10), and money wasn't exactly free flowing. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, my dad was a Baltimore City Police Officer, and I was going to private school. We weren't rich. And my mom's sister-in-law knew this, she just didn't care. She kept calling and harassing my mom to the point of tears. My mom was miserable; she was being driven to the point of shame and madness and didn't know what to do.

That brings us to the day of the visit. I don't remember why, but I was home alone. It was late in the day, and the sun was setting. I know this because the bedrooms of my house are on the west side, and they warm up nicely as the sun goes down. Out of the three bedrooms, I found myself in the middle one that day. The back room was mine, the middle my mom's, and the front/master bedroom was my dad's. I was not allowed into his room, but the middle room had a door that was shared with the master bedroom. That door was open and there was a noise coming from the bedroom, like someone walking around. I sat at the desk, looking towards the noise and the door, and just waited.

I can't say that I was scared exactly, but I was certainly curious. I cleared my throat, closed up the desk, and swiveled in the chair so that I was looking straight at that shared door. The movement continued, but there was no shadow being cast. I grew kind of bored just waiting, so I remember looking away out of the main bedroom door and then looking back.....

When I looked back, there stood my GM in the shared doorway. She was standing there, unaided, no wheelchair, but still rocking a mumu like a champ, and as solid as any living person. I remember her looking bemused and smiling at me before she said, "Hello."; I was more confused than anything at this point, so I mumbled some sort of greeting, and stood up to walk over towards her. I don't know why that was my first thought, but it was. Anyway, as I was walking over, I could hear that someome else was moving around in the room behind her as well, although I couldn't see who it was at that point.

Before I could get any closer, my GM said that she was here because she wanted to see my mom, and asked if I could go get her. I told her that my mom was out, and her smile faltered for a brief moment before she refocused onto me and asked if I could promise to relay a message. I told her of course I could, and waited for what she had to say. She glanced behind her and into the room for a moment, towards where the noise was coming from, and then looked back at me. She began to tell me that she was happy, and that it was VERY important for me to tell my mom that she was happy. Other things were said, like not to worry about what John's wife was saying in regards to the funeral and burial, she missed us, and a few other things that I honestly can't remember. At the end, noise was still being made in the room behind her, and she could see that I was not really paying attention to her (can you imagine the hubris of not paying attention to a dead relative that has come back with a message from beyond because you're concerned about the noises coming from another room?!?!?! My life has been wild.), so she called the person over who had apparently been making all the noise, and introduced him to me.

So now I have two very solid, very elderly-looking deceased people in my house. And this man, keep in mind I've had three grandfather's, this man is someone I have NEVER seen in my life, but my GM is just TICKLED with this guy. She introduces me to him, and he has the HUGEST smile I have ever seen a person have, and he nods his head in my direction, then looks back at my GM, and reaches out to hold her hand.

From this point on I do not remember any words that were said because I was laser focused on trying to figure out WHO this guy was. When I say in the above paragraph that my GM "introduced" me to him, she did, but the name was literally foreign, and having never heard this man's name before, I couldn't clearly make it out. The only thing I knew at the time was that this guy was NOT either of my grandfather's, I had NEVER seen him before, and this is going to sound crazy (oh, yeah, okay Kim, *THIS* is going to sound crazy.... *THIS* part coming up is going to sound "crazy"..... ok, Kim), but he just *looked* Italian. I didn't recognize his name or his face, but looking at him, I just remember thinking that this dude was Italian. And that made me really, really confused because my mom's side of the family and my dad's side of the family both came over together from Germany - they settled on the same street, for goodness sakes, so I had NO IDEA where this Italian guy came from. But I could tell that they made each other really happy in whatever afterlife they were in.

Then my mind started wandering even more because I was thinking to myself that if my GM and this random dude are having a blast in the afterlife, where are my grandfathers? Who are they with? What does this mean? Are there soul mates? When is my mom comimg home? What's going to happen when I die? WHO IS THIS GUY? Why are they in my dad's room? Why is anyone thinking this is okay to lay on a 10 year old? But for real, WHO IS THIS GUY? Does he speak? Why hasn't he spoken? What is going on?

About this time is when either my GM could tell that I was about done, or she herself had done all she could in this plane of existence, because I remember her saying, "Now, you'll tell her won't you?" And I let out a humourless laugh because we all knew that at that point in my mom's life, she didn't believe in ghosts or anything paranormal. So, I kinda laughed, and glanced away and said, "I'll remember, but she's not going to believe me." As I glanced back, they were gone, and the house was silent.

Many weeks went by and I said nothing. My dad, who was very "sensitive" to that sort of thing, and had had supernatural experiences, I avoided telling him because he would have thought I was lying and hit me. He didn't like being bothered with stuff. And my mom, well, she didn't believe in the supernatural, so even though she would have listened to me and let me get the whole story out, she wouldn't have believed a word of it. So for weeks and weeks I kept this story to myself and said nothing. Not saying anything was driving me crazy, especially because I wanted to know who the guy was that had been with my GM.

It was just my mom and myself one night at dinner. And that night my mom broke down over being harrassed about the funeral/burial by her sister in law. After we had finished eating, I took a deep breath and asked my mom if we could talk. She said sure, so I gingerly brought up her mom. I could tell that it wasn't a conversation she really wanted to have, so I just jumped right to the heart of the matter......

"Mom? GM was married twice, right?"

"Yes. I told you about that."

"I know. I was just making sure."

My mom looked at me strangely, "Why would you want to 'make sure', about something like that? What even brought this up?"

Not really knowing what to do at this point, I just jumped in with both feet and started telling her the story of my GM's visit. As predicted, my mom looked thoroughly unimpressed with what I was saying.... that is, until I mentioned the Italian guy.

My mom was an olive skinned woman, but when I mentioned the Italian guy, she turned white as a sheet. She asked me to repeat myself, and then, without a word, my mom got up and left the kitchen. I heard her climb into the attic, and there she stayed for quite some time. She had been gone so long, I was starting to doubt that she was coming back, and I got scared that I had said something that upset her so badly, that she had locked herself in the attic. Just as the situation crescendoed, and I was going over how I was going to explain everything to my dad when he got home and wanted to know why my mom was barricaded in the attic, my mom returned to the kitchen, out of breath, with a very huge, very old book, that she triumphantly thumped down on the table, hard.

With a flourish, she flipped open the book reveal two tin-types. One was a young woman, fashionably dressed, and posing as per the norms at the time. My mother asked, "Do you know who that is?"

I squinted a little harder at the picture. It was my GM. Young. I had never seen her young before. Was that a fox she had around her neck? She was dressed to the NINES. As I sat admiring the tin-type of my GM, I happened to glance over at the other side of the book, at the second tin-type.

This one was a bit different.

This one was a fashionably dressed young man.

THE man.

The man that had appeared all those weeks ago with my GM.

I looked up at mom. She was looking at me expectantly. "Is that him?", she asked. I nodded. It was. Much younger, but the eyes, the nose.... very much the same.

"Who is this?" I asked. My mom started to explain to me as she bade me to continue looking through the book. Before my GF, before my GM's first husband, there was this gentleman, my GM's Italian lover.

The book was full of letters, mementos, fabric, flowers, pictures, just about anything that they had sent back and forth to each other. My GM not only spoke German and English, but Italian too! Their handwritten letters were intermingled with the keepsakes within this book.

No one else in the family knew about my GM's Italian lover. The only reason my mom knew is because as my GM's caretaker towards the end, she had found this and asked her mom about it. Apparently my GM and this Italian gentleman had been together for a very long time. Something happened that forced him to return to Italy - I'm not sure of it was Visa related, or if someone had taken ill - but he had asked my GM to come to Italy with him, and she had declined.

Throughout the book, there were more letters from him after he had gone back to Italy, wherein he was trying to figure out different ways for my GM and him to be together, but eventually the letters stopped (probably because my GM refused to go to Italy). Shortly thereafter, my GM married her first husband, a fellow German by the name of Walter. And the rest is, as they say, history.

So, what did I learn from all this? I learned that once you die, you don't necessarily end up with who you were with while you were alive; you can make house calls to your grandchildren and leave messages for your own, grown children. And being on a different plane of existence will not stop a person from throwing shade when it's justified because the living are acting a fool.

Ah, the mysteries of the supernatural.

#personal #maternal grandmother #grandmother #mom #dad #supernatural #04/26/20 #italian #german #surprise #10 year old me needs counseling

9 notes · View notes

dibs4ever · 6 years

Text

Dick Grayson Fatherhood

Dick loved being a father, honestly, he never put much thought or fantasy into being a dad one day but here he was an actual father for real and he loved it. It scared him. He worried constantly that somehow some baddie would figure out Nightwing had a kid and hold him against him. Or perhaps a criminal would want to kidnap Bruce Wayne/Commissioner Gordon’s Grandson And he acting as Nightwing will have to jump into action without leading on that they had his kid.

He’d have to hold back from killing someone if they as much of harmed his son.

His favorite thing to do with Nathan was to see how bendy he was. It sounded weird but it was the truth. At almost 8 months old Nathan was probably going to take his first steps any day. The doctor said he was advanced and that his keen balance skills might have spurred from his acrobatic genes. He loved seeing bits of himself in his son, he also loved seeing bits of Barbara, like the way he crinkled up his nose when he was concentrating. Or how quickly he picked up on baby sign language. He was also super attached to Barbara, which everyone joked he got from Dick.

Barbara. She was an amazing mother. He couldn’t have asked for someone better to be the mother of his child. He never imagined she’d be so attentive but she was. In fact, he almost got in a fight with Roy last week after he made a remark about how Barbara was “almost a hippy” mom. He knew he meant it as a joke but it still aggravated him.

“Batman says to go to 46th and 10th” Barbara pulled him out of his thoughts

He looked toward the bat-clad girl, he loved her so much. He wanted to be with her so badly, but he needed to respect her and her wishes to keep their co-parenting platonic.

Currently, they were on patrol together for the first time in over a year. Before he faked his death, before he returned to find her with his 6-week old son, before he bought an apartment for them to live in.

They had tried not to patrol together, wanting one of them to be with their son at all times. But tonight called for it. Joker had apparently set multiple hidden bombs off around Gotham set to go off at 1 am. Nightwing and Batgirl has to deactivate one on the West Side Village Apartment building. One of the largest in Gotham. Now they just needed to locate it and deactivate it.

“Why don’t you check the basement and I’ll check the lobby?” Batgirl suggested

Dick glanced at the clock “BG it’s 12:30”

Barbara nodded “I know Hunk Wonder, of we don’t find anything we meet back at the 3rd floor at 12:45.”

Nightwing smiled at her nickname “Right, don’t wanna cause a rage of panic unless we absolutely have to. “

Barbara nodded and they both jumped into separate directions

Dick searched and searched in hopes of finding the bomb but had no luck. He heard Batgirls communicator buzz in

“Hey Wing”

“Hey Red, I hope you’re calling to tell me you deactivated a bomb. Really don’t want to deal with panic stricken civilians”

“Unfortunately not”

Dick sighed glancing at the time-12:40 “Looks like we’re evacuating a building. Meet you in 5” he signed off before running to the stairs.

They opted to pull the fire alarm pinning it as the best way to get people out as quickly as possible. That didn’t mean they still didn’t have to convince some people to leave. Dick was aiding an elderly woman he had just spent the last 5 minutes convincing to leave. (She has only agreed when he told her he’d help her with carrying her cats out.) He passed Barbara as she was walking back into the building.

“Where are you going?” He asked

Barbara looked at him “Back in, doing a last go around”

Dick shook his head “It’s 12:55, get out of the building “

Barbara shook her head “No you “

Dick sighed “Babs I’ll do the last walk through” he handed the woman her cats and pushed her gently out

Barbara looked at him “Dick please one of us has to go out and make sure they are safe. For well you know who.”

Dick nodded “Which is why I’m telling you to get out now Barbara Please I’m begging you. He needs you more than me”

Barbara shook her head “I’m not leaving you”

“And I’m not leaving here till I know the building is empty” Dick said

Barbara looked at the time 12:56 “Well I guess that makes two of us” she thought perhaps he would agree to come out with her if she stood her ground. This had been her plan all along. She knew he’d want to keep going back and forth into the building. Testing his limits with time. She didn’t want to take a chance of losing him again. But he was walking back up the stairs again. She followed behind

Dick looked at her “Babs please”

She shook her head “No”

Dick bit his lip, “Damn it” he mumbled

Before she knew it he had scooped her up and was running with her out the door. He set her down “Stay” he growled before running back in. Which surprised her. She thought she had him.

She attempted to run back in but was stopped when the building exploded “No!” She screamed falling to her knees where she began sobbing. Then through the rubble, Dick walked back out. In his arms was a cat. The same old lady he had helped out last rushed forward he was able to hand it to her before falling to his knees. Barbara rushed over to him

“I promised-I’d save all her cats if she got out” he whispered

Barbara held his face in her hands, whipping off the soot that covered his cheeks “Oh Grayson” she whispered

“I don’t break promises” he started to chuckle but then began coughing

Barbara stood pulling his arm over her shoulders and helping him up “Let’s get you home so I can give you a check up”

Barbara did just as she promised after he showered she was ready to patch him up and give him a breathing treatment to help clear his lungs after some other treatments she ordered him to go to bed, which he wasn’t complaining about since he was honestly exhausted. He was awakened when his bedroom door creaked open. Although the room was dark he knew who it was. She waited till she crawled into the bed beside him to speak “Checking in on me?” He grinned

Barbara didn’t say anything for a while “You scared me today”

Dick was quiet for a moment “I’m sorry”

She took a deep breath “I thought I’d lost you again”

“Babs I get into this mode when I’m Nightwing and I don’t even know what I’m doing. I think about that now and think how careless it was so no need to lecture me.”

She nodded “I just-all these thoughts flashed before my eyes”

“When I saw the clock hit 1 it did for me too.”

Barbara looked at him “Like?”

Dick looked down at her “Like you moving on, marring some normal guy, and Nathan calling him daddy”

Barbara shook her head “That would never happen”

“Yeah your right, I already told Jason if anything happened to me he should marry you and raise my son“

Barbara grimaced at the thought “Did you really?”

Dick chuckled “No I didn’t Babs. But still the thought of another man raising him hurt”

Barbara hugged his waist resting her chin on his shoulder “That wouldn’t ever happen, Dick. Your an amazing Father to him. I can't even stand the thought of another man acting as his dad.”

Dick looked at her “Oh yeah? You don’t ever want to be with another man again? You just want to be single the rest of your life?”

Barbara scrunched up her nose confused at first but then realized what he was saying “I-I never thought of it like that”

Dick smiled “If its any conciliation I can’t see myself ever finding anyone to be a sizable mother to how amazing you are”

Barbara smiled

Dick smiled “So if we don’t want to be with anyone else, we’re both living together and we both have a baby together than why don’t we-“

Barbara shook her head “Dick”

Dick shifted “Come on Babs think about it”

She sighed

He shifted so that they were facing each other “The fact that you and I both don’t want to date anyone else. The fact that our son is so well adjusted with us together. We’re already living together-very happily I might add. We’re basically a couple who doesn’t show any affection toward each other.”

Barbara looked up in thought “But Dick, what would people assume.”

Dick shook his head “Who gives a flying leap about what people would assume. I love you and I know you still love me. We don’t want to be with other people so what’s the use in us being miserable and lonely when we can both just stop being stubborn and be together” he whispered pressing their foreheads together “If it helps we can keep the whole thing under wraps till we’re ready to tell people”

Barbara laughed lightly “Yeah cause keeping it under wraps from my dad worked so well last time. After you came back we kept from my dad that you were Nate’s father for what? A week?”

Dick chuckled “A week and 3 days thank you very much” he booped her nose then fell back to his back and thought back on the day “Grayson why do you keep calling my grandson Chavo? He said”

Barbara smiled and began playing with his hand “Well Commissioner, you see its Romani my father used to call me that” Barbara spoke the line Dick had said

Dick ran his free hand through Barbara’s hair “Oh really what does it mean?” He continued the story

She shook her head “Then you had to come out and say ‘Son’”

Dick nodded “And it all clicked”

Barbara rolled so she was resting on top of him “He wasn’t mad but he wasn’t happy he said, ‘What? When did this happen, I thought you two were just friends “

Dick laughed “You can yell at me all you want for slipping up with the son thing but at least I’m not the one who responded to that with ‘Seriously Dad, I thought you were the detective. We haven’t kept our hands off each other in years”

Barbara laughed “Hey its the truth” she ran a hand through his hair “He still loves all three of us though regardless. Unlike my grandmother” she rolled off him and lied beside him again.

Dick shifted “I really wish you’d make up with her. She’s the only Great Grandparent Nay Nay has.”

Barbara shook her head “Dick when we took him to the retirement home to meet her 5 months ago she took one look at you and before she even met you all she saw was your skin tone. Then when she figured out her great-grandson was half Romani all she did was ridicule us”

Dick was quiet “It’s just the generations she grew up in. Your dad stood up for us” he pointed

“She was wrong though. Everywhere I go people tell me how beautiful he is. I felt so bad the other day Artemis and I went to the park with the kids and this couple kept commenting on how cute Nathan was. How much they loved his eyes and his tan skin, how his smile was so beautiful. Meanwhile Arty was sitting there with the twins. Her and Wally’s kids are really cute too” Barbara made sure to address

Dick nodded “Yeah they are” he leaned forward “But you and I-we really did make a beautiful child together didn’t we?” She hadn’t retracted so he nuzzled her neck. And when she didn’t retract to that he began planted soft kisses in the crook of her neck

Barbara sighed “Okay”

He lifted his head up “Okay?”

“Let’s give us a go again. If not for us let’s do it for Nate. He deserves to have his parents together. The least we can do is tell him we at least tried to be together” she reached up running her fingers through his hair. A giddy smile growing on Dick’s face before he leaned forward placing a passionate kiss on her lips

“Does this mean I get to move into the master bedroom with you?” He asked pulling away slightly

Barbara grinned “We’ll see Lover, just keep kissing me” she said before pulling him back to her.

#dick grayson #barbara gordon #nightwing #batgirl #dickbabs #batfamily #batfam headcanons #batfam fanfiction #batfam au

66 notes · View notes

uniqueimagines · 6 years

Text

Mystery Woman

Paring: Jughead x Reader

Requested: No

Description: You move back to Riverdale after 18 years and become the mystery girl. When Jughead finds out who you are and why you came back he helps you through some rough times.

Authors Notes: Y/D/N meaning your dads name and Y/B/N meaning your brothers name. Also let me know if you would be interested in this being turned into a series.

Warnings: Sadness, Talking of losing loved ones including veterans.

Word count: 1505

______________________________________________________________

You had moved into the trailer park roughly two years ago just a few months after your 19th birthday. You just turned 21 less than two months ago and became an official serpent on your 20th birthday. You have been working 40 to 50 hours a week at the Wyrm and yet nobody seemed to know anything about you. You only spoke when directly spoken to and gave the shortest and most straight forward answers possible. The only things people seemed to know is stuff they could observe from the way you looked, which really didn’t give them much information. They hadn’t even learned your name yet.

So far Fangs, Sweet Pea, Toni and Jughead had managed to make a few fairly obvious observations. You and FP are close, or at least significantly closer than anyone else is to you. They had seen the two of you talk more in one night at the bar than you talked to anyone in the first year you were here. You dress fairly scandalously as you typically wore short shorts or skinny jeans, always high waisted, and mainly crop tops that showed off your cleavage. You wore dog tags that sat between your breasts and nobody could ever get close enough to read them. Your serpent tattoo was on your hip and had been spotted when you and FP came to a get together at the river and you swam in a black bikini. They also knew you rode a motorcycle and lived alone.

You walk in with FP to Jughead’s 21st birthday get together. The only people that are there are Jug and his three Serpent best friends, his ex Betty that is now one of his best friends and his other best friend Archie. “Hey, Dad I see you brought a friend.” Jug smiles at you and extends his hand which you gladly shake it. You were wearing your black ripped jeans, boots and a black v-neck cropped top under your leather jacket with your hair up. Jughead had never been able to get this close to you and let his curiosity get the best of him looking down at your breasts trying to read the dog tags that sit on top of them.

“Boy! Keep your eyes on hers.” FP rolls his eyes and you can't hold back a small smile and chuckle as your cheeks blush light pink. “I’m so sorry… I’m Jughead Jones the third. FP is my dad.” He gives you a small apologetic look. You laugh lightly and nod, “I know and I know Fangs, Toni, and Sweet Pea but I don’t think I’ve met either of them.” You laugh lightly referring to Archie and Betty. “These are my two best friends that live on the north side.They are both Serpents just aren’t frequents of the bar, this is Archie and Betty.” They both nod giving you a small smile and you nod and smile in return.

“Do you want a drink?” FP rests his hand on your back as he asks and everyone stares in silence. “Umm no thanks…” FP nods knowingly and walks into the kitchen bringing you back a water bottle. “So movies?” You ask and everyone nods realizing they are still staring in eerie silence. You sit on the floor on a beanbag beside Jughead in his own. FP sits in a chair just behind you with his legs to your right and Jug to the left. Throughout the movie there is a scene where someone come back from war and you silently excuse yourself to the back porch.

“Hey you okay?” You turn and see Jughead leaning against the doorway. You were holding the dog tags in your hands now rubbing your thumbs over the inscription. Taking a deep breath you nod as a single tear slides down your cheek, “Yeah I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Go back inside and enjoy your party.” “Even with only 7 other people here I am not a party person. I would rather be out here and talk to you… if you want to talk.” You nod and sit on the steps of the porch and Jug does the same. “Are they yours?” He asks peering over at your hands as you rub the tags between your fingers with your hands resting in your lap.You take a deep inhale before bluntly stating, “No… They were my brothers.”

You place the tags in Jug’s hands and he looks down at them reading the inscription, “Wait… Y/L/N? Are you Y/D/N’s daughter?” You nod knowing Jughead had realized your father had been the leader of the Serpents before he died when you were only 3 years old. You and Jughead had been friends as children but when your dad died you and your older brother had to go live with family out of state. Your mother had died during your birth and your only living relatives were her parents. “I’m sorry…” Jughead puts his arm around your shoulder and you lean into him and you can’t hold back the tears anymore. You relax into his body as the tears begin streaming down your cheeks.

Though you and Jug only knew each other for a few years when you were both very young when he realized who you were you the two of you were instantly comfortable together again. It was almost as if you had never left and you whisper, “My grandparents died like 5 years ago… Not like it mattered much they were mean old people…” Jug laughs lightly and rubs your shoulder. “Jug… Y/B/N died 3 days after my 19th birthday…I don’t have anyone left.” Your words catch in your throat as more tears fall down your cheeks and Jug takes your hand holding it with the tags between your hands. “You have my dad and you have me.” Nodding you bury your head in his shoulder still holding onto his hand.

FP pops his head out and Jug hears the door creak open looking back at his dad. FP gives him a concerned look and Jug simply nods and continues rubbing your back. After a few minutes you calm yourself enough and stand putting your tags back on and wiping your face, “Let's go back inside.” Jug nods and walks inside and the two of you sit in the beanbags as if nothing happened. After you get comfortable laying your legs out beside Jug’s he holds his hand out offering it to you. You keep your eyes on the tv and take his hand interlacing your fingers with his without anyone noticing.

You sleep nearly the whole weekend not leaving the trailer and letting your phone die. Sunday night around 8 you hear a knock on the door and reluctantly get up to answer it. Your hair was in a messy bun and you were just wearing spandex shorts and a baggy t-shirt. When you pull open the door Jug stands before you holding a bag of Pop’s your favorite flavor shake and a comedy movie. “Mind if I come in?” He asks giving you a small smile. “Only if you let me hide my hideous hair with your beanie.” You laugh stepping aside for him to walk in. After he sets the stuff down he steps in front of you looking down at you as he places his beanie on your head to hide your hair, “While I think that your hair looked cute I will allow you and only you to borrow this.”

You can't help but let a small smile form as Jug compliments you and puts his hat on your head. Taking the food and shake he brought you sit on the couch and begin to stuff your face. “If I remember from when we were 3 whenever you get really sad you tend to skip meals and hide in forts… or just don't leave the trailer.” Jug laughs lightly as he puts the movie in before sitting beside you. You blush lightly and slow your eating. Once the food is gone you throw away the trash and rejoin Jug on the couch. When you plop on the couch Jug’s beanie becomes crooked. “Hey let me fix that,” Jug turns to face you gently fixing the hat and brushing a few pieces of hair behind your ear.

Keeping the eye contact with Jug as he fixes your hair you ask, “Hey do you remember how your dad used to always tease us that we had a crush on each other and then your friend dared you to kiss me?” Jug chuckles looking into your eyes, “Yeah, I vaguely remember that.” You bite your lip for a moment before taking breath and blurting out, “I dare you to kiss me Jug.” Jughead cups your cheek pressing his lips to yours. You slide onto his lap straddling him and resting your hands on his chest. Pulling away for a breath Jughead laughs, “Damn 3 year old me missed out.”

Masterlist

79 notes · View notes

mountainsofwords · 5 years

Text

I always thought if I was going to go through abuse in a romantic relationship in my life it would be very early. You know…teens to mid-twenties. But it didn’t. I had a fairly easy life as far as relationships went from 15-25 because, well, I didn’t date. I didn’t want to. I think I was so convinced that…well I’m not sure what I was convinced of. I just knew that dating wasn’t really my thing. I was scared of people in general but especially of males. Then I moved to Denver. About a year after I moved there, I got my own place and I started dating more and more. I kinda liked it. Then there were the times where I would look in the mirror before I was supposed to leave and think, “What’s the point even?” I think I felt that way because I honestly didn’t care about marriage or kids or a family then. I cared about what I wanted out of life. I cared about progressing into a better human being. I cared about friends and making people happy. The number of serious relationships I’ve had is probably the same amount of times I’ve listened to my gut tell me someone is right (not a single time). I’ve had a relationship here and there that I thought could end up serious and when it didn’t I was crushed. Only because I’d painted this picture in my head of what I wanted it to be. An image akin to what Bob Ross would paint on my grandparents small TV on Sunday mornings before church. Happy trees. Wonderful landscapes. Some fog and grey. And then I met someone I really, truly thought was the one. Even my heart was telling me he was. We liked many of the same things. We had a seemingly similar music taste (though mine ventures into a lunacy collection of Rave music and EDM and his steers more toward country wrap and rock). He couldn’t stand my driving or what I liked on Netflix and I couldn’t stand how he constantly had to have things his way – but let it be nonetheless. I wanted this to be my happy ending. You know? The first date was, well, great in my mind. We got along. We conversated. We had many of the same views. We laughed at a lot of the same things. I was so keen I practically threw myself at him to hang out the second night. So we did. And then we were hanging out almost every day a week later. I was staying with him almost every night two weeks after that. Things were moving so quickly. But by week three I knew something was off. He would get mad if he had to wait for me for even a few minutes. When we fought, it was always my fault. I couldn’t wear makeup because he didn’t see the point and he wasn’t waiting for me to put ‘that junk on’. If I tried to wear even a nice blouse with blue jeans he would say, ‘Why are you dressing up. We’re not doing anything special.’ But he wouldn’t ask as much as his words would hold the command for me to change. When I met him I was 30 pounds lighter than I currently am today. I ate semi-healthy. I didn’t eat fast food, drink soda, buy chips, or even really drink alcohol. I was a bartender. I also worked for a company that built trophies and put various other award-types together to include letters for lettermen’s jackets, medals, can koozies, etc. I can’t say I was particularly happy with everything, but I thought I was at least happy with him. But a few weeks into the relationship he made me feel so guilty for tending bar that I quit and then called in sick several times because he didn’t want me working. To be honest, even in the early stages of the relationship things didn’t feel quite right. As though if I were to disobey what he wanted (even if he didn’t outright tell me no or command things of me) there would be a much heavier price to pay. A few weeks after I quit the bar, I put my notice in with my other job at the trophy place and the next day after they let me go. I was on my phone too much (if I didn’t answer I was afraid of what would happen when I saw him later after work). They found my replacement already. Then…we up and moved and I let myself believe it was my idea to move. I turned a blind eye. The first time he had a lash out of anger I wrote it off as we’d both had too much to drink. I remember we were sitting around the fire in his backyard. His roommates weren’t home. I think we’d been at my parents’ that night and it’d been the first time he’d met them. We’d just gone to look at an acreage over by their place but decided it was too much room for us and it would be too expensive to heat in the winter (or at least that’s what I’d thought we’d decided). Anyway… We were sitting around the fire at his place discussing how he wanted to do something nice for a friend of his. A friend I’d never met. He wanted to make sure this friend had money for their kids and whatnot and it’s not that I disagreed. I do agree with that. Today, this friend is now a friend of mine and I’d do anything within my power to help this person out. But at the time, I’d never met this person. And my boyfriend insisted we both go in on gift cards for her. I couldn’t fathom. I was only making $300/week and that’s if I even worked a full 40 hours. Which, most of the time I didn’t (a whole other story). I couldn’t afford to give someone else something that I couldn’t give myself. He got so angry with me that he took a wrought iron chair and flung it across the yard. I thought to myself, “It’s okay. Not a big deal. It was just a chair. We’ve had a lot to drink and we didn’t really eat anything today.” I should have left that night, though. I should have left and I never should have looked back. But I didn’t. And then, after that, every time I tried to leave when we’d fight he would get angrier. Sometimes he even got more violent. I’d set the stage for our future by staying. He felt he was allowed to treat me any which way he wanted. I was his doormat just there for him to wipe all his dirt, muck, grime, and shit on (excuse the language). Yet I stayed. There were times he would pin me against the wall by my neck and threaten me…my family. There were times he’d poke me so hard in the chest it would be bruised and sore for days…even weeks. I remember a few fights I had no recollection starting and somehow it was my fault. Those were usually the nights we were in the pickup on the backroads and there was generally alcohol involved. Not always. Sometimes he would tell me that I wasn’t allowed to drink anymore and then he’d drink alcohol in front of me. Not a huge deal except it stressed me out because, well, I knew what was coming. I remember one night in particular we were out cruising – this was a favorite pastime of ours – and we picked up a six pack for each of us. I’d written him a letter telling him I needed him to give me more room to breathe. Not that we were on a break. Not that I wanted to break up. I just wanted to be able to go and see my friends and family without him raising a fuss over it. I wanted to go and have a day with my mom or best friend without him feeling as if he had to insert himself into the plans, text me every five minutes, or even call me when he hadn’t heard from me in an hour. That night, after he read the letter and assured me he loved it and he agreed, he started a fight about how I drink too much and that’s all I wanted to do. I just wanted to be out partying and drinking all the time with my friends and being a ‘slut’ because that’s what women do. To preface this: my friends don’t even drink. Or, at least, if they do it’s one and then we’re all done. He popped me in the jaw for the first time ever. He’d pinned me against the wall by the neck. He’d grabbed my face so hard it left my jaw sore for days. He’d poked me violently. He’d pulled my hair to get me to the floor. He’d never once hit me in the face. As I sat in the passenger seat of his truck my brain was numb. The tears fell but I couldn’t even get any words out. And then he told me to gather my ‘shit’ and get out of his truck. In the middle of nowhere on a gravel road in the middle of the night. So I did. I gathered up my shoes, my dog, my purse, my phone (which he’d thrown out the window onto the gravel road shattering the screen), and got out. But he didn’t want me to take my phone. He was paranoid I’d call the cops and he was already in enough trouble with law enforcement. So he very angrily told me to get back in the pickup. And I did. Because it was dark and despite the fact that it was in July sometime, it seemed icy outside. So cold that I was shivering as I hopped back up into his old, beat up square body and sat quietly clutching my dog to my body. Tears falling but no noise being made. No thoughts swimming in the muddled pool that was my brain. But a few miles later when he was screaming at me to talk and screaming that the silence wasn’t helping things, he told me to get out of the pickup again. When I went to get out this time, though, he grabbed my shirt and pulled so hard that it left a line of bruises along the right side of my throat and neck. It left my neck and shoulders sore for days. I remember being afraid he was going to do more than just abuse me that night. I remember wishing I could call the cops that night. But also realizing that my heart is 20 sizes too big for the wrong people. I realized too late I should have called the cops. Except, the main cop in the town where we were was a good friend of his. I didn’t have any faith that my story would be heard. I’d heard how this particular cop had discussed the women of my now-ex’s past. As if everything was their fault and my ex had to shoulder no blame. I can tell you for a fact that 90% of the fights we had that ended in violence, I’m not even sure why we were fighting. I can tell you that for four months I was rarely allowed to go see my family. Certainly never my friends. When I did go see my family, he’d call me every 15-30 minutes and if I didn’t answer he’d call incessantly every 5 minutes until I did. I can tell you that his friends love him and cherish him and that’s their prerogative. But I can also tell you that I’ve never been through worse up to this point in my life. Thinking that people are actually capable of such horrid things terrifies me. I loved his family. I loved how I felt when I was around them. I loved going to his grandparents’ for lunch or just stopping out at his mom’s to see her and check on her. I loved visiting his brother and sister-in-law and their three adorably amazing children. I loved when we would go help with farm work. At the end of the day, though, I had to break up with him. I had to get away from him. When we first got together he told me he’d been in some trouble in the past. But when you go to look at his record, it looks like there’s 4-5 domestic abuse cases and at least one assault case. Then in July he was sentenced to prison time and I was sad. I was so brainwashed into believing that he loved me that I didn’t even stop to think about what it was doing to me. I wasn’t the same girl I was when I moved back to Iowa. I wasn’t strong. I wasn’t independent. I wasn’t me. When he went away, suddenly I saw so many things in a new light. I dumped him after he was already gone. I broke up with him. I ended it. After I promised him so much. I ended things with him despite the fact that I loved him, his family, a lot of his friends. I risked becoming a bad guy in the eyes of people I’d come to adore just so that I could gain back a shred of strength; a shred of humanity. It’s taken me months to be up front and honest with myself. It took me months to be honest with myself and even my mom. Some days I look back and smile because, well, him and I did laugh a lot. We did have a lot in common. I did want to be with him. In the end, though, I realized I was the one doing all the loving. I was the one doing all the giving. I was the one nurturing. I wasn’t receiving anything in return. When is it time to leave such relationships? Immediately. No matter what. If you’re afraid, call someone. If you’re afraid, call the police. Don’t wait. I got lucky. I mean, yes in the process I lost so many. But I regained myself and I’m okay with that. You don’t marry their family. You don’t live with their family. You don’t. You live with them. You marry them. When you allow them to treat you like dirt, it becomes the norm. It won’t change.

#da #domestic abuse #abuse #verbal abuse #physical abuse #mjs

1 note · View note

kiliosthestarmaker · 6 years

Note

Nyehehe 1-49 >.> all of dem 😏😉

I EXPECTED THIS BUT YOU’RE GOING TO K I L L M E

The Basics1. Do you listen to music when you write?

YES, Gods yes! The inspiration! The characterizations! The playlists I listen to when dealing with a particular character I love it I crave it!

2. Are you a pantser or a plotter?

Plotter, most things have already been decided on within my stories.

3. Computer or pen and paper?

Computer, I’ll use a pencil and paper only when I have no tech on me.

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I’d like to be published

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?

Interesting question, I have no clue

6. Single or multiple POV?

Kind of multiple? It’s all in third POV but we follow around different characters

7. Standalone or series?

*cackles* SERIES

8. Oldest WIP

A whole series called Ratio Cor that I finally got back too

9. Current WIP

Worlds Rejoined

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

No. Gods no, I’d stress myself out.

The Specifics11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

Lord of The Rings

J.R.R. Tolkien

George Martin

Harry Potter

Rick Riordan

C.S. Lewis

My two writer friends Wolfe and Jacks

12. Describe your perfect writing space

My room, blasting with music in the morning when I have no school

13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Sure

A) Wake up at 2 AM with an idea

B) write it down

C) go back to sleep until you have to wake up properly

D) Write out a decent plot

E) Characters

F) World Building (My fav part)

G) Write and Feel your book

H) Make others suffer with you

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?

Music and talking to Wolfe

15. How do you deal with writer’s block?

Music, scrolling through Tumblr, talking to Wolfe and Jacks

16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

Who the heckity heck knows

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Grab some food and a drink

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

I WOULD COLLABORATE WITH @princess-east AND @stressedwolfe and it would probably either be about the gods or some action/adventure/fantasy thing and we’ve done it before AND ALSO @koalajake CAUSE THE IDEAS HE HAS

ADORE

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

My dad expresses interest in my plots (the only family member that do), he tells me about showing it to other people at work or while he’s busy with something and the person just so happen to be there. My loves also encourage me.

there is also music

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

........ ehe well there is 1 collection, 4 series within that collection and about 3-4 books within each series sans one which will probably have more than that. Other than that...I have many, many ideas

The Favourites21. Who is/are your favorite character(s) to write?

I absolutely love writing Kilios, not only is he my favorite character, he’s just purely iconic.

22. Who is/are your favorite pairing(s) to write?

Most of my pairings are platonic as most characters are teens or children. There’s also those who have been married and are widowed now so-

OH THERE IS KOLFE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING THOSE TWO

23. Favorite author

Wait I have to choose??

24. Favorite genre to write and read

Fantasy

25. Favorite part of writing

WORLD BUILDING!!!! I SWEAR ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE LIKE “Hey Kilios you wanna help me build a world for this AU?” or “Hey Kilios can you help me build the world for my story?” AND I WILL BE ALL OVER THAT

26. Favorite writing program

Lmao does google docs count?

27. Favorite line/scene

From...from my book?

(Ratio Cor)

“Okay...” She hums softly as she screws on her arm. She flexes the mechanical fingers slowly before twisting her wrist. She grimaces slightly at the creaking of the joint. “Grandfather where’s the thing?”

“What thing?”

“The...the thing...uh...whot yz yt collud… THE OIL!” Kala exclaims after figuring it out. She hears her grandfather laugh. Kala huffs softly at the laughter. Her grandfather taught her the surface language at a young age. He told her it might come in handy one day, but she doesn’t understand why it would. The Markian language was harder to learn afterward.

(Working Title: Caelum Enterprise)

“That's a child.” Kai whispers. Kilios nods his head in agreement. “That’s a child.”

“Thirteen years old.” Kilios offers with a small grin. Kai’s face turns blank, and he stares at Kilios. A cold rage settles in his soul.

“So, I have to kill Zeus?” Shadow chokes on his laughter as he wraps his arms around Kai’s waist. Kilios snorts in amusement even though he knew his friend could kill the Lightning God if he wanted to.

“Now, now. Revenge is best served cold as you may know.” Kilios hums softly as they smirk at each other. Shadow and Oketh look at each other before shaking their heads in exasperation. “Zeus seems to want this kid somewhat broken down, so we’ll give the child the best childhood.”28. Favorite side character

Kai and Shadow, purely for their dynamic

29. Favorite villain

K,,,kilios

30. Favorite idea you haven’t started on yet?

Three siblings were reborn as siblings in the modern world. One problem, the ex-youngest sibling is the only that remembers their past and the evil that caused them to die before has followed them. So now, the sibling has to reawaken their siblings' past selves and strive off the evil force all alone. What will happen if the evil, instead of harming the ex-youngest sibling, takes them away to where they are treated as they should be and are loved. What happens when their siblings do reawaken and come after them? What happens if the ex-younger sibling doesn’t want to go? After all, they found love in the darkness. They found light within it as well insert King Keir who isn’t willing to let his consort be taken without a fight.

The Dark31. Least favorite part of writing

The,,, the writing part

32. Most difficult character to write

Alim??? I guess cause he’s like grandfatherly and most characters I’ve done in the past never met their grandparents??

33. Have you ever killed a main character?

Yes, even better! I’m going to kill one in one of my books!!

34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

Kilios’,,,, death I’m-35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

KILIOS’ ORIGIN STORY

The Fun36. Last sentence you wrote

“Yeah, I’m alright.” She assures her grandfather after he gives her a look showing that he didn’t believe her. “So, what’s for breakfast?” She quickly changes the subject.

37. The first sentence or your current WIP

“Three creators, each lost in their own right. Their names were taken from books and erased from history. The first to come back will be the one who breathes the anger of volcanoes. Next will be the one who freezes the stars. Finally, the one with powers that are forbidden will come to light. Once together united as one. All will hail the Cold Sun.”

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

All of them

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

A manipulative character that ends up saving the world due to having the ability to see at least ten steps of ahead and calculating an infinite amount of possibilities for options due to having who is literally the concept of the creation of stars and demihumans/hybrids as a bearer (Aka Kilios)

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

AHAHAHAHA

Kyle Evren was born from a phoenix and the Primordial God Khaos. The toddler was neither male nor female. Ze was an outlier much like the being known as Udushunamir, who was a being created by the Egyptian Great God Ea. Kyle was born to die for the Gods.

Kavya Esther was created with the body of Saiph and life was breathed into her by Astraea. Her mother was a phoenix and the Star Goddess Astraea. Kavya was very radiant and creatures of all sizes tended to flock to her. The child was kind and lovely. Kavya was born to die for the Gods.

Kit Keir was born from a phoenix and the Hindu Celestial Deity known as Rahu. Kit was both male and female. Due to cer odd parentage, Kit gained both sexes from cer parents. Kit was a very elusive and dreamish teen. Ce would often be found drifting off into cer own little world without a care of anyone around cem. Kit was born to die for the Gods.

Kilios Caelum was born from the ashes of who he used to be. He was ruthless and tired. He was angry at what he’s been through. He swore to rise far above what he attempted to accomplish beforehand. He would build an empire, he would rise to the sky. Kilios refused to die for the Gods.

The Rest of It41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Jot down any idea you have, no matter how vague or bizarre it is, write it down.Research, for the love of the gods, research whatever you need for your book and please please use multiple sites.Talk to other writers and ask for input, it’s alright to be nervous so just message them privately. Hell, you can ask me I’m always up for learning about new writers.

42. How do you feel about love triangles?

As long as it makes sense and doesn’t cause the main plot to be pushed as a subplot I’m good with it fam

43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

Mutter dark threats under my breath and curse my characters for putting me in the backseat of my own damn writing.

44. How much research do you do?

Literally, a third of my whole writing process is contributed to pure research.

45. How much world building do you do?

By the time I’m done, if someone finds it they’d think I just found the world and wrote down what the people told me.

46. Do you reread your own stories?

Yes and it’s physically painful

47. Best way to procrastinate

Youtube and Drawing

48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

KILIOS IS LITERALLY ME THEN HE WENT OFF AND GOT HIS OWN STORY THE BASTARD

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

All of them because they are my children and I love them.

#kilios answers #my king 💜🐺🎃💜#has killed me #writer's asks

4 notes · View notes

jeharvill · 6 years

Text

Super Mom and Super Dad

This picture shows me at the doctor’s office at 8:00am with both kids when they both had croup and we were all up all night.

Our family is definitely surfing through some stormy seas right now, and I thought I’d make a post that has some skeletal sketches about that shit, but mostly focuses on some great parenting moments in our family recently. Because sometimes I am proud of my skills in this arena.

Recently we saw some old friends, Wil and Mira, who were in town for a conference after leaving their young kids with the grandparents for a week. Mira told me that the morning they were supposed to leave they had no hot water, and when she went to investigate the basement she found the sewer overflowing into the shower. With hours before their flight a septic company came out and put a camera in the pipes, found the problem and solved it, and then they rushed to the airport. At the end of her harrowing tale the moral of her story was “Life is good! We’re so lucky that happened before we left, it could have happened while we were away”. I was just thinking how if that story had happened to me I might have thought “how awful” and Mira’s takeaway was “how wonderful”. I’m endeavoring to be like Mira right now and have a positive outlook.

One of the big things we have going on is a whole house remodel at one of the apartments. We’re acting as general contractor and we are really stumbling through this. We met a window salesman who pressured us to buy windows we didn’t need, pay in cash, and bribe the city inspectors (we didn’t hire him). We found out that ikea cabinets are twice the cost of custom. And our flooring guy didn’t vent the floor stain, and the fumes caused the neighbors to call poison control when their faces broke out in rashes.

Managing the remodel has meant that a few times a week Alex has an early morning where he has to be in the city by 8:00am to meet with someone and I’m finding some new Super Mom tricks for the morning routine. One thing is that I make a line drawing for the kids to color in and this occupies them peacefully while I’m getting dressed. I’ve offered that they could each have their own, but they prefer to share.

I’ve also got them doing a lot more of the work themselves. Often Hazel measures the oatmeal and water into the pot, Oliver washes the berries and serves them, I make the coffee, they each pack their lunches into their backpacks with a water bottle, etc.

I try to put a little drawing in Hazel’s lunch each day. Usually her bedtime lullaby is a made up song and one night she asked for a song about a mama and baby owl and I made this drawing for her lunch. She likes to color in the drawings at school.

Alex is really rising to the challenge of juggling his start-up and the remodel. He’s also taught Hazel to ride a bike, which she loves and that’s a great source of joy for us all. He’s really the best with teaching kids things like this, so gentle and supportive without positive or negative pressure.

We also have school closures so I’ve been bringing the kids to work with me (and Alex has them at home at his work) as we try to piece together childcare and work. It can be a total delight to have them with me during the day, like Hazel here at my desk, and it can be hard like Oliver standing at my elbow saying “when will you be done?” over and over for three hours.

We’ve been trying to bring more academic practice into our lives. This is me volunteering at Oliver school for the read-athon day where kids wear pajamas, snuggle in sleeping bags, and spend the whole day reading. I also chaperoned a field trip to see the “overwintering” ladybugs. That was amazing.

Oliver’s class is learning reading, writing and some math and number skills. With two parents that work full time we don’t have a lot of evening time to encourage him to practice these skills. However, I’ve stumbled upon some ways to make the learning into a “game” and Oliver really loves that.

When his class was practicing numbers that add up to ten, we made up a card game that’s a twist on “crazy 8s” but it’s “crazy 10s”. 10′s are wild AND any pair of cards that makes 10 can be used as a wild. Oliver kept score on a piece of paper, easily adding up the points from each hand as we went.

I put some common alphabet letters on a set of old playing cards and we played a game were we each get five cards and have to make as many words as we can. Oliver was allowed to make himself a “cheat sheet” where we wrote down words he already knew, and he was chuckling the whole time about how sneaky he was cheating in this way.

This picture shows a letter Oliver wrote to his teacher asking for some details about “friendsgiving”. As you can see, he’s learning to confidently “find his voice as an author” before anyone corrects his spelling. This says “How many kids are in class?” “What time?” “Who can come?” “Can I bring meat?”

One morning when we were talking about odd and even numbers I showed Oliver how even numbers are smooth across the top when you stack boxes, and odds have a jagged top. Oliver made the number chart on the right and Hazel made this one on the left and then she asked to make it again two more times, carefully writing the numbers each time. We looked at how odd numbers can hook up like puzzle pieces to make an even number, and how pairs of ten can be found by starting from the outside and stepping in.

Oliver thought of this as another “cheat sheet” that he could look at when he wants to remember which numbers are odd and even. He remarked that he couldn’t bring it to school because he would get in trouble for cheating.

We also made up this game (below). We make a two letter suffix like “at” “am” or “an” and then I write down the whole alphabet and we add the suffix to each word in the alphabet. Oliver sounds out the word and we laugh at the silly non-words and cheer for the real words. Alex and I did a competition to see if “am” or “an” suffix would have a higher score. Oliver sounded out the words and awarded points to either me or Alex depending on whether it was a real word. We tied.

And I’ve made two sets of “sight word bingo” cards to practice the words that Oliver is supposed to know just by sight. We started with about 15 simple words such as on, it, no. And then we moved on to about 40 words. All four of us play sometimes after dinner, and we have ways to make it a bit easier for Hazel.

I’ve been really proud of Oliver playing this intro to programming board game, which was a gift from Amma. Within the game you can create a function and then use your function in a program (a program is a series of cards that moves your piece). It’s pretty exciting to see him think about sequences that will repeat and extract that into a function.

This is a drawing to explain constipation to a four year old.

These are some great artworks my kids made:

Oliver made these faces.

Hazel made this unicorn.

Oliver made this portrait of Harry Potter.

Hazel has been turning our kitchen into her art gallery. I’ve made a big calendar on the fridge so the kids can get a sense of what’s coming up in the weeks ahead.

I also spent a day doing volunteer work at this food shelter. We set out this free grocery store and then handed out produce, rice and other staples to people experiencing food insecurity. No one wanted pears. People took as much spinach as we would let them.

I’ve been hiking a lot. Sometimes by myself, sometimes with Oliver, sometimes with the whole family.

We did a family hike. I carried Hazel part of the way.

That’s me on a swing that goes out over a drop off. Pretty fun.

I went East for the funeral of my Aunt, my mom’s sister. This image shows my uncle saying a prayer at the grave side.

1 note · View note

michaelimarkey-blog · 6 years

Text

Permanent account number

there are so many specific recollections i will think of when I examine that old cast iron pot. plainly they were such an essential tool in all varieties of cooking that I, as a touch Italian American boy, could be exposed to. All of those memories are very hot and loving. additionally I just now remembered that each time I look at that cast iron pot i'm able to usually scent sweet Basil and tomatoes. With a solid iron frying pan i'm able to odor olive oil, oregano and lemon. humorous I do not get that sensation searching at stainless steel or non stick.

what is pan card

at some stage in the 40s inside the summer time my parents could take us all from Chicago to a bit town in Ohio wherein my Father's mother and father and his brothers and their households lived. His sisters lived in neighboring states but no longer too some distance. To me I concept we were out of the country. The ride was lengthy and on small one lane highways (There had been no expressways again then). It seemed like we have been going for hours with out seeing a stay man or woman but it positive become quite. every so often we might see a farm and an occasional cow or horse grazing. For exhilaration my dad could examine the 'Burma Shave' signs that had a special elements of a funny limerick on them. normally each limerick become about 5 signs and symptoms lengthy. Such easy fun but it was magical all the way to my Gramma and Grampa's residence.

i would be ecstatic as soon as we were given there to look, kiss and hug my Grandparents. I cherished the whole thing approximately them and their antique house which smelled like tobacco and basil. The handiest thing i was hated turned into the fact they didn't have an interior rest room. they had an outhouse which usually scared the hell out of me especially at night. in the residence there have been spittoons (My Grampa chewed tobacco and smoked a pipe) amongst all of the old-fashioned fixtures.

My Gramma Rosalie would have at the least 5 loaves of bread freshly baked and he or she changed into always canning stewed tomatoes, tomato sauce, gabanadina, jams and preserves. She did this all summer season lengthy from the veggies from her garden which turned into a lovely miniature farm. The yard turned into long with a brick direction down the center and also you walked between rows and rows of tomatoes, masses of basil, eggplants, oregano, lettuce, carrots Celery plus exceptional sorts of fruit bushes. She had enough to develop, cook and can the entirety from the garden to remaining the entire winter. She did all this even as she made bread all day, cooked dinners and clean residence now not to say laundry and ironing. What an improbable ladies. however, , she usually had a grin and become continually thrilled to peer her circle of relatives. At night time they could all play playing cards, Gramma included, and she or he was the excellent card participant out of all of them and they had been a massive circle of relatives too.

Her old-fashioned range would have all extraordinary sized solid iron pots and pans on it. After breakfast i would watch her begin via selecting tomatoes and fresh basil from the backyard. Then we would cross into the house, rinse off the tomatoes, boil them for a bit time, then skin them and put them into a big sieve and mash them into the holes of the sieve till all of the juice and mashed meat of the tomatoes became pureed into a massive pot underneath the sieve, all besides the seeds. I don't recollect the cooking manner. All I recollect was her filling up the jars that have been boiling in massive forged iron pot with warm water in it to sterilize them. After filling them she could placed the rubber covered lids on them and boil them till they were sealed air tight. One aspect I did neglect become Gramma always placed one complete sparkling basil leaf in each bottle of everything with tomatoes in them earlier than sealing them for storage.

Their basement became like also like a film set. It changed into very lengthy darkish and musty with shelves on all the partitions with masses of bottles of the whole lot you can consider and it became everything from the garden and the fruit timber all around their house. some of the bottles might have cob webs and dirt on them. that is how massive poorer families made do in the ones days. both my Grammas were high-quality women.

considering this has my nostril packed with all those aromas right now. It makes me sad when it fades away.

My spouse and that i owned and operated a own family Italian restaurant in Chicago for over 30 years. We ate, slept and drank Pots and Pans. the general public of our pots and pans had been stainless. We also had a few cast iron frying and multiple massive sauce pans in cast iron. in the main all of our roasting pans were tooth and some have been stainless as we replaced them. They have become a part of our lives together with china, cutlery, silverware simply to mention some. It become a number of difficult paintings however additionally very profitable. So it was only a natural issue my spouse and that i determined to open an internet keep promoting pots and Pans and extra.

1 note · View note

kessicasrps · 2 years

Text

I smile back against your lips as I continued to kiss you slowly before finally pulling away after a long moment and sighing contently. "Don't worry, I know that we won't ever forget what brought us together. Our story will forever be so special to me and I love that as the girls get older, we get to tell them how their parents met and fell madly in love," I say honestly to you. I sigh contently before picking you up easily and setting you on the side of the bridge since it had wide sides to it. I wrap my arms around your waist, supporting you and holding you close to me. "You are my happily ever after, Princess."

---

I looked at you happily once the kiss was broken and I ran my fingers through your hair. "I hope it's something they get to tell their kids too," I smiled at you. "When their kids get to wanting to know about true love, they can always tell their kids, and their kids can tell their kids, and longer after that," I giggled again. "It can be like one of those moments when we're both no longer here, and our girls are grandmothers, and their grandkids see pictures of us knowing we were in love and they ask about us and the girls can tell them everything about us," I smiled. "Because the girls are a huge part of our love story, they made us parents, we made those babies together because of how much we love each other," I smiled as I wrapped my legs around your waist when you lifted me up onto the bridge and I kept my arms around your neck. "I want to be that couple that leaves behind all these momentos that are left in attics that our great grand kids find and want to know about their great grandparents," I giggled. "I'm thinking too much aren't I?" I blushed. "I don't know what it is, but I never got to know much about my grandparents on either side of my parents families. Their Dads hated each other and didn't want them together and their Dads were best friends before that, and that's all I know, but I want our family that we created together to know how much we truly loved each other. I want to leave behind photos of us, photos of our family, the journals and notes we wrote about each other, documented stuff, like cute couples in the 40's did." I blushed. "And there's some moments in our life together that we didn't get to have momentos from because of how things happened you know? Like our wedding day. I don't have a dress to show the girls, we don't have a wedding album, we've planned for a wedding for years and never got to have one, but I want all the important moments we have to be documented and saved for our girls to be able to share with their families that they create,"

I blush from your words, loving when you said sweet things like that to me. "Just being with you makes me the happiest girl in the world," I say before going to a dressing room with you. I hand you one of the shirts, eager for you to try it on. "I think this would look so good on you. I love that you're not afraid to venture outside of just wearing basic, boring men's clothing," I say to you, practically beaming. "And imagine me stealing this and wearing it with nothing on underneath as I make you breakfast."

---

"I love making you the happiest girl in the world," I say honestly as I kissed all over your face. I smiled when looking at the shirt you handed me, smiling at you as I tried it on. "I do like it, it looks good," I smiled at you happily as I pecked your lips. "I love being bold with what I wear," I say happily as I looked in your eyes.

#( & dreaming of you rp )#( & call it what you want rp )

0 notes

kylieryanette · 3 years

Text

THE BEST OF TIMES AND THE WORST OF TIMES

Wow! This week was definitely challenging, but this too shall pass. Have you ever thought someone was just looking for a reason to hate you? Ugh, me too. That's what I've been dealing with this week, it's been a big trigger for me. Just one of those times everyone where you CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK! This week reminded me just how much words can disrupt your peace, if you allow it. Anyway, back to my story.

So, the next several years had many different obstacles to overcome, but not all of my childhood was bad. We spent 6ish or so weeks in Florida every summer with our grandmother, Mona, our cousins, our aunt Jodi and her husband, Joe, and our aunt Gina. These are some of my fonder childhood memories; going to the beach, having pranking wars with Jodi, spending day after day at Disney, going on all sorts of field trips, watching musicals and The Birdcage with Mona, it was like a family summer camp, which is why we lovingly deemed this time "Grammy Camp".

Every year we looked forward to Grammy camp, and we revered our Grammy, and I especially looked up to my aunt Jodi (she is also the person who told me the truth behind my childhood memories that I spoke about in previous blogs), she was my person beyond my mom. One of my favorite years was the year they came to Iowa. We went to the Ashfall Fossil Beds, stayed in teepees under the stars, and my cousin, Josh, and I honed in our awesome roller-skating skills on the ramp we had set up in the backyard. We also went to the Henry-Doorly zoo, Dirk even came on this adventure. This was one of the best summers I had! It wasn't until later in life that I was told why they came to Iowa that year, instead of us going to Florida. Mom knew who they were, way before I even had the slightest idea. After Grammy Camp was over, Mona, Jodi and the rest of them would basically disappear until the next holiday where we got a call and gifts. Not that we didn't feel loved by them, at the time, because we did, we just didn't understand conditional love from family, so we couldn't fathom the things that were to come.

During the summers, we also spent about a week with our mom's parents, my grandma and grandpa Horn in Bloomfield, IA. These times were always full of love, laughs, good food, the pool and friends. My grandparents had purchased a pink bike with a banana seat and a white basket on the front for me to get around town with my friends. I also spent time with my great-grandmother, Berniece, whom I absolutely adored, and we called her Gram. We would rent horror movies and I would sleep in her satin nightgowns, and although she had two other bedrooms, I always slept with her and her dogs, Jojo, an American Eskimo, and when she passed away, Gram was gifted a golden retriever, whom she named Tess. Family time was always my favorite time, which is why at the age of 12 again, I decided it was time to meet my paternal grandfather.

My Grammy and grandfather (Gene) had divorced long before I was born, and at age 16, he and Dirk got into an altercation and they went their separate ways, not talking for decades. Well, one day we received a call from Grammy, and she told me that grandfather had almost been killed by his farm hand, who had accidentally ran him over with a tractor. I decided this was my time to reach out, to know who my grandfather was and where I came from, so I asked for his phone number. I called him and had a wonderful talk with him, and we decided that I would fly to Little Rock, AR to meet him and his wife, Laura. A few weeks later, I landed in Arkansas and walked off the plane looking for two people I had never met. I was greeted with two smiling faces, one holding a sign that had my name beautifully written on it, her tiny frame topped with golden hair beautifully curled on the top of her head, and the other holding a handful of balloons, his large frame softened with a big smile and kind, light blue eyes.

When we arrived at their home, I was in complete awe, it was basically a ranch style resort, complete with Arabian horses, a gorgeous main home, a tennis court, inground pool etc. I couldn't believe it! I had a wonderful time with the people whom Dirk had demonized for my entire life, but I was finally connected to my grandfather, my family. After that visit, the rest of my family decided to go down together so that Dirk and grandfather could reconnect. They were inseparable from that time on, calling each other almost weekly, and we spent holidays in Arkansas, and made wonderful memories, for the most part. Every dream has a dark side, even in this world.

When I was 16, my grandparents invited me to join them and Jodi in Lexington, KY for one of the biggest Arabian horse events in the nation, the Pyramid Society's The Event. I was thrilled to be apart of this world, this world of opulence and beautiful horses, beautifully dressed women and horses that cost more than some homes. It also came with monsters and predators. Our passes gave us access to the patron's lounge, which Jodi and I decided to go to two evenings during that first trip. The first time, Jodi was obliterated after just one scotch and water, more than likely drugged by the bartender, which should have been a red flag, but we decided to go back again the next night, with my grandparent’s world renowned horse trainer, who was in his 40s. They proceeded to allow me to drink, as there was no one else in the lounge that evening. I clearly remember the drink that the horse trainer kept pouring down my throat, it was called a Duck Fart (weird I know, but I remember it being a very good and creamy drink). I drank so much that I don't remember that night, but I do remember waking up in the horse trainers hotel room, which was in the La Quinta, NOT the Residence Inn where we were staying. I was terrified. He was awake and asked if I was ready to go back to my hotel, I just shook my head yes and grabbed my things. I told Jodi and her response to me was "Do not tell your grandfather, he will kill him", once again pushed aside after being assaulted, once again being told that this man was more important than my body, but this would not be the last time. It happened the next year with a different man, who was invited to our room to give us both massages, yet another time what someone else wanted superseded my well being. This would tear my mind apart for years after.

These things all shaped my perception of the world, how I responded, and how I felt about myself, as well as society as a whole. I looked everywhere for acceptance, love, any shred of normality that I could find, and I made some horrible decisions during that search, which I will get into, I promise. I can't be authentic without sharing my downfalls as well.

#self healing #trauma #mental health #growth #bpd #cptsdwarrior

0 notes

actuallylorelaigilmore · 7 years

Text

the ultimate citation list for Schneider of ODAAT, volume 1

A reference collection of quotes and details, organized chronologically, for the first 26 episodes of One Day At A Time. Used to create this character guide.

“Can you believe it's only been 10 months since you moved in? I remember 'cause I got my five year sober chip and your mom baked me that cake. I enjoyed watching you guys eat it." 1x01

"You're 40 and you look stupid." “I'll have you know, I was invited to several Pride parades." 1x01

Uses a “very expensive” Damascus steel hammer. 1x01

"I've been doing some outreach down at the rec center, talking to at-risk youth. You guys wanna start takin' bets? Actually, scratch that. I'm addicted to gambling.” 1x01

"Love isn't even real. It's just something your nanny says sometimes to your dad." 1x02

"Hey, I may have money in the bank and two living parents, and four living stepmothers but there is a hole in here. We never had family meals. I ate alone in front of the TV. Oh, don't get me wrong. It was a massive TV. Sometimes my nanny would join me, but only if I agreed to watch telenovelas. This one time, Rosa got jealous of the housekeeper 'cause she was makin' a move on her man, so she threatened to throw live scorpions on her while she slept. Rosa was my nanny. Ex-nanny. Now, stepmother." 1x03

[Lydia and Pen fighting] “It's startin' to feel kinda like home in here.” 1x03

Schneider cooks fancy hipster food. "Nutted quinoa, wilted broccolini with radish micro-greens, and venison carpaccio on a bed of nettles. Grab a cedar plank and dig in." 1x04

"Always interesting to be the sober one at a dinner party." 1x05

"I immigrated here illegally. I'm a Canadian. But yeah, born in the 'Couve, overstayed my student visa, forced to live in the shadows of Pepperdine University. Anyway, it's fine now. My lawyers made it all okay." 1x05

Uses sheet masks, knows about chauffeurs, butlers, estates. 1x06

“The kids barely touched my black olive tapenade.” “Thanks for helping out, but maybe next time pick a food a kid would wanna eat or has heard of.” “Yeah, and maybe next time, don't hand out masks with my face on them.” 1x07

"The members of my college band have finally put aside our differences and we're reuniting to play at the fair this afternoon. My band, Full Sail, plays yacht rock. These guys were like family. I used to show up at their dorm rooms unannounced and just hang out for hours and hours and hours." 1x07

"We were setting up for the show and our keytarist threw a decorative anchor at me. This is why Full Sail broke up in the first place. Too many passionate personalities." 1x07

Has a magnifying glass in his costume trunk. 1x07

"I know nothing about my grandparents and I never will. And they live in Pasadena!" (but he goes to 'the depot' in Pasadena) 1x09

"I have never seen such un-professionalism. This is why I don't work!" 1x09

"I need to find a new place to get my eyebrows threaded." 1x10

Has a safe. 1x10

"Well, Father believed it's best to have this kinda discussion in a car because you don't have to make eye contact. Plus, you're traveling in the same direction, which fosters intimacy. So we're in the Bentley with our chauffeur, Paco. Father said it's time to have the talk. We came to the next stoplight. He hopped out, Paco told me everything." 1x10

"I didn't get the period talk till I was 12. Paco just called it 'Shark Week.'" 1x10

"When I was a kid, there was an adult section in the back of the video store. Behind the beads. I'd always chicken out and just rent a Jane Fonda workout tape. Still worked. Still works." 1x10

"You'd be surprised how many of my hookups started with 'Ugh!' ...When I was 15, I told Father I wanted to be a professional tap dancer. He laughed. It was that lack of support that contributed to my drinking and drug problem. Oh, do you find that amusing? Because 15-year-old Schneider's drinking peach schnapps out of an unused tap shoe right now." 1x11

"You have a girl over here and you were offering to have sex with me?" - "Yes, Penelope. That's the kind of friend I am." 1x11

"My dad never came to my games. All he ever did was put me through rehab six times and buy me this building." 2x01

"Maroon 5 is the best." 2x01

"Okay, I decided to take a break from dating. See, I realized that women were just another one of my addictions, like alcohol, drugs, gambling, cigarettes, snow globes. The point is, I've broken the cycle of addiction with spinning. Five hours a day, every single day. I have to do it! Plus, it's the perfect substitute for dating, 'cause it burns a lot of energy and also numbs my junk!" 2x02

“Snow globes? Is this one of our family?” 2x02

"I come over, tell him to do stuff to me, he does it, I go home. You should get one." "I think what Nikki was kinda dancing around is that you don't always have to have a relationship with a capital "R." Sometimes all you need is what the great poets of the Renaissance called a junk buddy." "Exactly. You don't even have to like them." 2x03

"See, the great thing about having a green card is you get to live here without having to do all the stuff Americans have to, like vote or serve jury duty or become obese."

"Okay, but at least you vote in Canadian elections." "Mmm. No. Even in Canada, nothing ever changes. Clean air, sensible gun control, free health care. The system's rigged." 2x04

Can picture himself “doing it” with Elizabeth Warren, was Stephen Hawking for Halloween. 2x04

"You have to pay taxes with a green card? I just texted my accountant, and he said 'cause I'm in the highest income bracket, I don't have to pay taxes." 2x04

Keeps on hand: panic room, gas mask, water purification pills, MREs, enough cash to get to Cape Verde by boat. Followed Max on Instagram. Would be honored to be Penelope's maid of honor. 2x05

"I'm very patriotic. Look in that basket. There's a bald eagle thong." 2x06

All Elena's video game equipment belongs to him. 2x06

"Penelope, tell my third stepmother I loved her! Not the second one, though. She was kind of a jerk." 2x06

"Hummer limo's downstairs. My third stepmother used to take me to the racetrack to spy on Father. For the longest time, I thought she was saying, 'Your father is with Rebecca, that horse!' It's like I'm back at the racetrack with my stepmom. What's next? Throw a mint julep in his face?” 2x07

"I love Cuba! I've been there four times. Property manager, job's just temporary. My father owns the building. I'm really a musician. Play a lot of rap-rock-ska. I'm like a male Gwen Stefani. When you're hiring a nanny, make sure she's not too hot. That's how I met my fifth mom. I had four nannies and look at the results." 2x08

Did not speak a word of Spanish when he first met them, is interested in single moms. 2x08

"If you joined an adult kickball team after saying you were too busy to join mine, you are on a long road to forgiveness." 2x09

"Your idea of stress is when your chest-waxer goes out of town." "Roberto is the only one who doesn't make it sting!" 2x09

"I shouldn't have to need these either, but I do. To see. So it's Fourth of July, 2011. I'd been sober for a while, so I thought I'd celebrate with a beer. Woke up three days later in an alley. Then the bowling ball hit me. I was in the gutter for a long time. It's really slippery without the shoes. That was the day I truly accepted that I can't have alcohol or drugs, ever. Not a beer, not a glass of wine, not even six hits of acid at a Grateful Dead show, no matter how well it makes me dance. I kinda get where you're coming from. There's something I want that I can't have for the rest of my life." 2x09

He and Pen are best friends. Also considers Max his bestie. Wants to Netflix and chill with them both, together. 2x09

"My abuelita used to put Vicodin in her coffee. And her lemonade and her sandwiches. Maybe she had a problem. As my father said to me on my ninth birthday, 'You don't need me anymore.' I use my garage for pickling and sea horse breeding." 2x10

Loves puns. "This is Elena Alvarez, my handyman mentee. Or handy-manatee." "The toilet is a cruel mistress. She is flush with complications." 2x10

"Herb and Sherb McGurb. Her real name is Sheryl, but she gets a kick out of Sherb." 2x10

"Bonsai's for dorks. This is penjing. The gentle Chinese art of tray scenery. Now that you're working for me, I finally have some leisure time." "Oh, look, there's little people. Wait, is that my family?" "Could be any Cuban family." 2x10

"I may only look two or three years older than you, but I have the wisdom of that ancient bonsai!" 2x10

"Always take the lemonade. That's Handyman 101! So you watched Jeopardy with them and then what? Well, now we know what your problem is! You fixed their toilet, but you didn't fix their souls. Elena, growing up, I had everything. But I was always alone. I don't want my tenants to feel that way, so I do more than just fix stuff. Apartment 306, macrame with Mrs. Watson. 201, lose at chess to Mr. Roth. 402, listen to all their Cuban nonsense. That's the job. That's what takes four hours. That's the difference between being a handyman and a super." 2x10

Has heard 'you're fired' a lot. 2x10

"After a grueling 30 minutes of thought, Nikki, will you be my starter wife? You're on the rebound. That's the best time to get married. You don't have time to think. So you were never thinking about me? My emotions? My feelings? You used me, Nikki, Finn's mom! And not in the way I like! And that's not all, Sister Barbara. We knew each other. Biblically. And while we were doing it, she took the Lord's name in vain. A lot!" 2x11

"Last night, I was testing the pH of the water in my seahorse ranch and, as I looked at those vomiting little guys, I realized I suck at tests. All tests. Drug, sobriety, vision, IQ, smog. You name it, I fail it!" 2x12

"Have you ever been arrested?” “Does public nudity at a hockey game count?” “There is, uh, no mention of a public nudity charge in your file.” “Oh, you just go to YouTube and type in 'Zam-boner.'" 2x12

"Yeah, they didn't specifically ask if I got drunk and tried to ride a moose, so after that I was golden." 2x12

"How important is having kids to you?" "Never really thought about it." 2x12

"I'll have you know I babysat my babysitter's kids while she was babysitting my dad, so, yeah, I got a little experience under my belt. Oh, it's my cousin Gordy. He still thinks I'm full-on Canadian. All right, good news is Gordo bought it. Bad news is I'm judging a poutine festival in Saskatoon next week." 2x12

"You're the single greatest mother I know." "Thank you. That means a lot coming from a guy with five moms." 2x12

"Fuzzy Afghan she likes, picture of the Pope, picture of a different Pope, picture of your dad, picture of the family, picture of me with the family, picture of me by a waterfall. I'm just gonna keep talking 'cause I'm not good in crisis situations." 2x13

"It's so crazy how we're both immigrants. I mean, I would never compare my story to yours, but the parallels are spooky. You were 18, I was 18. You left your family behind. I left four step-families, a maid, a butler, a chauffeur, and a horse groomer who really got me. But Father was expanding his business to the US and so I had to go. I remember, at the airport, I was crying. But Father put his arm around me and he said, 'Son, only losers cry.' So that was a long flight. You don't know how dirty a dirty look can get until you're crying for a whole plane ride and you're not a baby. I really didn't wanna be in America. So I drank. And I recreated the snowy plains of Canada with cocaine. I'm told I attended classes at Pepperdine University, but I will have to take that on faith. So, I'm in a detox center in El Segundo. This was my fourth rehab. My re-re-re-rehab. I thought I'd been doing a kickass job keeping my drug stuff a secret from all the tenants and then you showed up in my room at that clinic. You brought me sopa de pollo and said it's Cuban penicillin. You told me, 'You eat this, you get some sleep, and tomorrow, you try again.' And then you tucked me in and kissed me good night on my forehead. Forehead kisses are wildly underrated. Just something really comforting about 'em. Then again, it might just be you. Dad never did that. Or my horse groomer. After I got out of rehab, I started hanging around your apartment a lot more, 'cause it helped. Back then, it must have felt like you had this annoying, intrusive guy over. Not like now. 'Cause now you're my family. Don't worry. I haven't legally changed my last name to Alvarez. My lawyer said it was a whole thing, so... Anyway, Pen said no crying, so I'm not gonna. Actually, for once, I agree with Father. Only losers cry. And we're not losing anybody today. Let's hit that oath ceremony soon, okay?" 2x13

#schneider #reference #odaat #one day at a time

12 notes · View notes

sleemo · 7 years

Text

The Rise of Rose | How A Badass Nerd Became The New “Star Wars” Lead

Kelly Marie Tran is ready to conquer galaxies both near and far, far away. — Buzzfeed News

Two years ago, all of Kelly Marie Tran’s dreams came true: She got the career break of a lifetime and landed the new lead role of Rose Tico in Star Wars: The Last Jedi, she moved to London and got to work with some of her personal heroes (Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy and actor Laura Dern, for starters), and she finally paid off her student loans. And then, once filming wrapped, she ran away.

“I think anytime you go into anything that’s different and new, there’s a bit of fear,” the 28-year-old Vietnamese-American actor said on a sunny October morning, fanny pack bouncing as she hiked Griffith Park in Los Angeles. She glanced down quickly at her Pikachu watch.

“That’s just natural. It’s a human, natural instinct,” she said. “But I also spent a year traveling and a year trying to figure myself out and reminding myself why I got into this.”

Originating a Star Wars lead character is the stuff of dreams for actors. It all but guarantees immediate global stardom (The Force Awakens breakout stars Daisy Ridley and John Boyega are currently starring in big-budget studio films outside of Star Wars), and also offers the possibility of long-term employment (Harrison Ford has been playing Han Solo since 1977, and he’s still not entirely sure if he’s finished). Even in the face of rapid and continued expansion — Disney recently announced that Last Jedi writer and director Rian Johnson will helm a new film trilogy — Star Wars remains one of the most surefire celebrity-making machines in show business.

But becoming a Star Wars star is also a huge responsibility. It’s a central juggernaut in the geek-culture landscape, and the fandom is so longstanding and voracious, a prominent role in a Star Wars film can guide, and often define, an actor’s entire career — especially a newcomer with hardly any mainstream projects under their belt. And for Tran, there’s an added element of both privilege and pressure: Rose Tico is the franchise’s first major character to be played by an Asian-American woman.

The movie isn’t even out yet, but Tran is already making history with the role. By posing as Rose on the front of Vanity Fair in May, arms crossed and a coy smile on her face, Tran became the first Asian-American woman to appear on the magazine’s cover. And she clearly understands how important that representation is to fans — it’s not something she takes lightly.

“It’s something that I think about a lot,” she said. “I just remember growing up and not seeing anyone that looked like me in movies.”

Tran’s no stranger to the geeky realm. She nicknamed one of the steepest trails in Griffith Park “the road to Mordor,” and has been unsuccessfully trying to convince eight friends to dress up as the Fellowship of the Ring with her since high school. She’s super nervous for Daenerys to see Viserion on Game of Thrones next season (“That’s such a Kylo situation, right? Seeing your child who’s on the other side now? I’m serious”). She’s a Harry Potter superfan, and even though she’s a Ravenclaw per the Pottermore Sorting Hat, she’s a Gryffindor by choice: “I feel like the Sorting Hat would have been like, ‘You should pick.’ And I would have picked Gryffindor.”

But Tran’s also no stranger to the lack of diversity in nerdy fare. For example, she always went to midnight Harry Potter screenings dressed as Cho Chang, the only prominent female Asian character in the films, even though she adored Luna Lovegood. And now that Tran’s about to experience the other side of fandom and become one of those rare characters of color herself, she admits there’s no lack of pressure.

“It feels like a lot of expectation, and you just wanna do it right,” she said, pumping her bright green dinosaur leggings up the road to Mordor.

That expectation, that pressure, is part of the reason why Tran spent the year after filming wrapped traveling in total anonymity.

“I ran away!” she laughed. “I wanted to center myself and remember who I was. My life had just changed so much, and I needed that time to reflect.”

First, she went to South Africa and worked on an endangered wildlife reserve (no internet, no electricity, no running water). She shared a room with a dozen people and told everyone she worked as an office temp. (She didn’t start getting inquisitive emails until the new Rose Tico toys started coming out.)

Next, Tran went to Vietnam, first to work with orphans, and then to revisit her roots. Her parents fled to the United States during the Vietnam War, so she brought them back to their home country for the first time in 40 years.

“I have very huge cultural ties to where I’m from and where my family’s from,” she said.

Her time in Vietnam was, according to the actor, an “overwhelming experience.” She and her family biked to her dad’s village together, and he showed her where he used to sleep.

“My dad was a street kid for seven years — he was homeless,” Tran said. She met her cousins, the children of relatives who tried to escape during the war but were pulled back by the Vietnamese government. “I could have had this life,” Tran said, holding out one hand, “and now I have this one, and it’s purely because my parents dropped everything and moved to a country where they didn’t know the language [and] didn’t have any opportunities. I very much have felt this whole time that I’ve been living for multiple generations of life.”

That year of travel and soul-searching seemed to help Tran achieve what she had set out to: She remembered why she became an actor.

“My parents didn’t get to have a dream,” she said. “Their dream was to live in a country where their kids would have choice.” And despite any hesitance on her parents’ part regarding her risky career choice, Tran always saw it differently.

“I truly did feel that I owed it to my parents, my grandparents, to do whatever it was that I wanted, because if I wasn’t happy, if I wasn’t being true to myself, then I wasn’t living fully,” she said. “They had given up so much so that I could live at the level that so many people are just automatically born into.”

But just two short years ago, Tran’s acting career looked very different. In 2015, she was working full-time as an assistant at a creative recruiting firm in Century City to pay off her student loans and make ends meet. She’d wake up at 5 a.m., answer phones and grab coffee, leave for two or three auditions in the afternoon, then come back to the office and stay until 8 or 9 at night.

It took Tran years just to get an agent. She started sending inquiry letters to agencies when she was a high schooler back in San Diego. She worked at a yogurt shop and saved up all her money for headshots, only to receive a slew of rejection letters. “There’s no rule book, nobody tells you how to do it,” Tran sighed. “It was sort of the preparation for the next 10 years. I still have a bunch of rejection letters from agencies that did not want me.” She’s strongly considering framing them.

Tran finally landed a commercial agent in 2011, and a theatrical agent two years later. Her commercial agent suggested she try an improv class to give her resumé some extra shine, so she enrolled at the Upright Citizens Brigade Training Center in Los Angeles — and fell in love.

“I love the ideals of improv: supporting each other and never being sort of judgmental of other people’s ideas,” she said. “I think they’re great rules for life: You get a piece of information, you’re like, ‘OK, how do I work with that and how do I add to that?’”

Her creative circle flourished, and she cultivated a tight-knit group of writing partners and performers, including her all-female Asian improv group, Number One Son.

“I’ve always been very much a team person,” Tran said. “Acting seems like solo work, but it’s not. This is not a one-person journey, at all.” But as much artistic fulfillment as she was finding, her resumé still consisted largely of CollegeHumor videos and small TV roles. She couldn’t even get an audition for a movie.

When she turned 25, Tran resigned herself to a fate of personal fulfillment without mainstream success. “I remember making a conscious decision,” she said. “I never thought that I would accomplish my dreams. I believed in myself, but when I turned 25, I just thought, Oh, I’ll just be working my day job and auditioning and struggling financially, but I’ll be living my dream for the next two or three decades.”

Then, as all great success stories go, she got the audition notice. The Untitled Rian Johnson Project was supposed to be a secret, but everyone knew it was for Star Wars. (Johnson had already been announced as both writer and director of the next installment.) But Tran, a self-proclaimed nerd on many subjects, had never seen a single Star Wars movie.

“In 10th grade, my teacher was obsessed with [Star Wars] and played it in the background, but I was reading Harry Potter so I wasn’t listening to it,” Tran laughed.

She didn’t watch any of the movies before that first audition — she never thought she’d make it beyond that — a move she believes helped her in the long run.

“I didn’t have this expectation of what I thought this person should be like; I wasn’t trying to model her after someone I’d seen in a movie,” she said.

Tran recalled that the initial character breakdown for Rose Tico was vague — “Something like, ‘Any ethnicity, character-y!’” — so she walked into the first audition wearing a sweater vest and her lucky Ravenclaw tie.

“All these other girls were in tight black and I was like, ‘Oh no! I’ve done this wrong! I’ve done this wrooong!’” she laughed.

By the first callback — Tran wore her lucky tie again, it had gotten her that far — Johnson was already in the room.

She auditioned five times between the summer and fall of 2015, a torturous month spanning between each. After each audition, Tran tried to forget about the possibility of another. She stayed busy writing with friends, and she started journaling for the first time in her life. The final audition took place in London, with full hair, makeup, and costuming.

“And this is why, I’m telling you,” Tran cackled, “the fact that I hadn’t grown up with Star Wars really helped me. I think I would have fallen over.”

But she didn’t fall over. In fact, Tran did the opposite: She stayed unfathomably grounded. “I remember the day of that audition, I just wanted to be present,” she recalled. “I just wanted to have fun, because there was nothing I could do at that point to control getting it or not. I remember having the most freeing feeling, and I had the best time.” Then she went home and tried to forget about it.

Three weeks later, in November 2015, Johnson emailed Tran’s agent and asked to meet with Tran before she went home for Thanksgiving. “I remember every moment,” she said through a grin. “Walking up the stairs, there’s a little bit of small talk, and then Rian says, ‘I want to offer you this role.’” Tran didn’t react; she froze. “What happens when everything you’ve ever wanted comes true?” She hid her face behind her hands at the memory. “I didn’t say a word. I was terrified. It was such an overwhelming shock.” Johnson waited, and then asked, “Umm, do you want this?” Yes, she did.

Tran went home for the holidays, but couldn’t tell anyone she’d just landed the role of a lifetime — all aspects of the movie were being kept top secret. She lied and told her mom, dad, and two sisters that she’d booked an indie film in Canada. She casually suggested the family go see The Force Awakens, but her dad objected. “He goes, ‘Ughhh, I hate movies like that. I don’t know why people go see sci-fi movies,’” Tran laughed. “And I was like, ‘Welp.’”

In January 2016, Tran moved to London to begin filming, and her life changed overnight.

“Someone mistakenly gave me the keys to the kingdom,” she said, her eyes still wide with disbelief even now.

She spent her days on set watching the likes of Benicio del Toro, Andy Serkis, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, and Laura Dern (“I can’t believe she knows who I am, ahhh!”) in what she described as “ultimate acting school.” Tran went to set every day, even if she wasn’t filming.

She hung out in the creatures department and learned a lot — she even dressed in a makeshift Porg costume for Halloween this year. She spent weekends watching movies with Mark Hamill and his family. She shared a trainer with Daisy Ridley, and eventually learned how to push a car. (“I’m serious! Little ol’ me.”)

But Tran found herself worrying; this was her first big gig and she was treading very carefully, often worried she might offend someone. Then she met Carrie Fisher.

“What a woman,” Tran nodded pointedly. “The best thing about Carrie that I witnessed was that she was just purely honest. No matter how messy that was, or how complicated that was.”

While Tran agonized over adhering to her trainer’s fitness regimen, Fisher showed up and walked the treadmill, sipping a Coke and smoking a cigarette.

“I don’t know how to explain it — without even protecting me, she was. Just by being herself,” Tran said.

But there was one caveat to all of her dreams seemingly coming true: Tran wasn’t used to living without her established support system.

“I was scared, I was alone, I couldn’t tell anyone what I was doing,” she said. “I remember crying because I wanted my friends to experience it.”

To combat the isolation, she joined an improv class in London, kept journaling (“I have 25 journals now that’s just me and my feelings on paper”), and leaned heavily on her castmates, especially John Boyega — the actor she’ll likely be sharing the most screentime with in The Last Jedi.

Her close association with Boyega’s character, Finn, is one of the few facts we know about Rose Tico so far. We also know she’s a low-ranking mechanic in the Resistance, and her sister Paige (played by Vietnamese actor Veronica Ngo) is a gunner in the Resistance.

“John is someone who I feel like I immediately was able to mesh with,” Tran said of working with the actor. “We connect on different levels because our parents are immigrants, we’re both people of color, nerds, and he’s just hilarious.” Tran, of course, knows everything about Rose, but all she’ll coyly add is that the character “has an interesting relationship with war” — a relationship Tran’s family knows all too well.

“I dug into that with my parents, and their relationship with war because of the Vietnam War,” she said. She also listened to podcasts and read books on engineers and how they think, and infused much of her own personality into the character’s.

“Sometimes I think Kelly informed Rose, and sometimes I think Rose informed me,” Tran said. “It’s such a messy, tangled relationship, which I think is kind of beautiful. She’s always going to be part of me and I’m always going to be part of her, right?”

And as for Rose’s future in the Star Wars universe, Tran is as curious as the rest of us. “I don’t know,” she said earnestly, convincingly, like a true Gryffindor.

Since filming wrapped, Tran’s co-stars moved on to new projects — “They’re all working on a bunch of movies everywhere in the world. I’m the only who’s like, ‘Yooo, come over, let’s watch a movie!’” — and she’s been living in a strange bubble, treading water between anonymity and the global stardom that Star Wars all but guarantees.

“Everything feels very emotional right now, because it feels like the first or the last time,” Tran said slowly, measuring her words. “I don’t know what that other life is gonna be like, but I also don’t want to let go of being this anonymous person who gets to live in both lands.”

There’s no way to know what her life will look like after The Last Jedi premieres, but Kelly Marie Tran is finally ready to stop running away from the inevitable spotlight.

“The only thing I can do is be honest and be myself, and if people hate that, they’re gonna hate that, and I can’t control that. It has nothing to do with me,” she said, half-sighing. “I’m saying this now, and it sounds really easy, but it took me a year. I just feel like I don’t wanna hide anymore.”

— Buzzfeed News

#kelly marie tran #interview #rose tico #star wars #cast #the last jedi #tlj

179 notes · View notes

boredout305 · 6 years

Text

Chris Alan Durham Interview

Chris Durham is best known for his tenure in Roachclip and The Bibs. Alongside Travis Galloway, he runs All Gone records.

From Downriver, Michigan, Durham formed All Gone to release tapes by his friends in Detroit, as well as records by his band, Roachclip. All Gone has expanded, releasing more than 40 titles, including cassettes by The Intended, Mad Nanna and The Cannanes.

After Roachclip, Durham formed The Bibs with Galloway and Alex Franzen. The group’s LP on Soft Abuse, From the Fish Houses, was one of the best releases of 2016.

Currently, Durham is focusing on Church Shuttle and releases under his own name. Soft Abuse just released a Church Shuttle 7”; an upcoming solo single by Durham will be out on Spacecase this summer.

Interview by Ryan Leach

Ryan: I know you’re from Southwest Detroit, but I don’t know much else about your background. I’m thirty-six. I’m probably a little older than you.

Chris: I’m thirty-one now. I’m getting older. I grew up in Downriver, which borders Southwest Detroit. I’ve been living in Southwest Detroit for a while now. That’s where I record most of my music. I recorded the Bibs (From the Fish Houses) and Roachclip (Discovery Park) records there. I started in Downriver, playing music in Detroit when I was fourteen or fifteen. We’d play shows in Hamtramck.

Ryan: This would’ve been the early 2000s?

Chris: I probably played my first show in 2003 or 2004. I grew up in the industrial part of town. It was blue collar with factories.

Ryan: Were your parents into music or was it something you discovered on your own?

Chris: They were into classic rock and country music. Aerosmith and Zeppelin. They liked Alice Cooper. He was from around here.

Ryan: Detroit’s a major music city. But by the time you were growing up, the impacts of deindustrialization—namely, job and population loss—were already well underway.

Chris: Totally. By the time I was growing up, everything was already on a steady decline. My grandparents and parents are from Detroit. By the ‘70s, people were already leaving. At its peak, Detroit had almost two million people. I think we’re down to around 700,000 now. However, there are millions of people in the Detroit Metro area. Everyone kind of lives around the city. It’s a populated area, but a lot of it isn’t technically in the city.

Ryan: Weren’t you doing more experimental music before Roachclip?

Chris: Yeah. Some of my early projects included the tape label my friends from Downriver and I started: All Gone. That was around 2007 or 2008. We had a concept of not using the internet. We were anti-internet at the time. The goal was to keep the label subterranean. We created mailers we’d send out about upcoming releases.

Ryan: You were taking the label back to the Forced Exposure era.

Chris: Right. Everyone was using the internet in 2007. Back then, we were doing garage recordings. Not “garage music,” but literally recording music in garages. The music I was making back then was more experimental than the music I’m doing now. I used alternate tunings and I didn’t record with drums. I was influenced by New Zealand stuff, Harry Pussy and Jandek. There were electronic elements to my early recordings. I was into krautrock.

Ryan: You have “Song for Guy Debord” on the Roachclip LP, Discovery Park. It fits in with the concept of not wanting a simulated environment on the internet, but meeting people face-to-face.

Chris: He has a big influence on my music. Not on the sound, but on the mindset of how I approach it. Debord is just as big an influence on me as any other musician.

Ryan: Where did you meet All Gone co-founder Travis Galloway?

Chris: We grew up a few blocks away from each other. I first met him when I was younger through skateboarding. I met up with him again at a party in my twenties. He asked me, “Didn’t we grow up a few blocks away from each other?” I said, “Yeah, we did.” It was kind of cool. We knew a lot about each other, but we never really hung out until our twenties.

Ryan: All Gone was strictly cassettes at the beginning, correct?

Chris: It was all cassettes. All Gone was just the bands Travis and I were doing. I was doing a project with my friend Trever (Millay), who’s in the band You. They released records on Dais. Trever went into a more minimal, synth-type direction. Steve Gougherty, who was in Roachclip, was doing some solo stuff. The label started as a result of Travis and I hanging out, fighting off boredom. We were putting out a lot of solo recordings by our friends. We then started reaching out to other people and bands.

We were all doing noisier stuff back then. You mentioned Heath (Moerland), who was also in Roachclip, earlier. Heath is sort of the king of Michigan basement noise. Heath was coming up with really good murky and psych-influenced noise.

We started getting out of that stuff. Every show we’d attend was just a massive wall of feedback. We wanted to mix it up. We wanted to be noisy, but less harsh. Our music started becoming more conventional.

Ryan: Going back to the 1980s, experimental and noise music really lent itself to the low-overheads and long-playing time of cassette tapes.

Chris: All Gone was coming from that background. Also, most of my friends growing up recorded on 4-tracks. That’s pretty much all we used.

Ryan: The Tascam Portastudios?

Chris: Right—the Tascam Portastudios. The blue guys. My friends Alex Franzen and Steve Gougherty were recording on those. I learned a lot from them. I’ve always been around tapes. I never learned how to use computers when I was younger. My parents weren’t into them. All we had at home was an outdated computer that always got viruses.

Ryan: Computers weren’t yet accessible to everyone. I graduated high school in 2000, and I’m almost certain I used an electric typewriter the whole way through. My dad was a cabinetmaker.

Chris: Yeah, they weren’t really around. I chat with people who record onto computer and I feel left behind—like I need to take a computer science course.

Ryan: An interesting, early All Gone release was the Cannanes Happy Swing cassette reissue. How did that come about?

Chris: That release was pretty cool and random. I love all of that ‘80s DIY stuff, especially from New Zealand. I realize The Cannanes are from Australia, but I like bands from that general region. I started getting into K Records and The Go Team. I like Steve Fisk. The tape stuff he was doing back then was really cool.

I got the Cannanes tape and I really liked it. I felt that it needed to be back out in the world again. The aesthetic we were going for—the Cannanes owned it on that tape. I got on the internet and contacted them. They were really into reissuing it.

It’s funny. I was trying to contact Calvin Johnson at the time. Calvin had gotten wind that I had reissued Happy Swing (which was originally released on K). He was down for it. I sent him some copies. He sold out of them and I sent him some more. Calvin was chill.

Ryan: So it was after the fact that K had found out about the reissue?

Chris: Yeah. I didn’t even put anything on the tape about K. I had been trying to get ahold of Calvin beforehand, but I couldn’t track him down. I was happy to send him stuff. I wanted to get the tape out again and for him to know about it. Calvin wrote me later on, mentioning that he wanted to meet up. He kept thinking I lived in Wisconsin. I had to break it to him that I lived in Michigan.

I wish someone else would reissue some of that K stuff, especially the Go Team tapes. I don’t know if Calvin has plans for it. A lot of the early K stuff is really amazing.

Ryan: I only know Roachclip through the band’s catalog.

Chris: Compared to The Bibs, Roachclip was a little more functional. We played in Chicago and Ohio a few times. We toured the East Coast with the K9 Sniffies for eight days. We didn’t too much lengthy touring, just a lot of gigs in Detroit and Ann Arbor. We cut that record (Discovery Park), a couple of tapes and some 7”s. There are some Roachclip recordings that have never come out. I’m not sure if they ever will or not.

Ryan: Roachclip’s Discovery Park (2013) has been All Gone’s only LP so far, right?

Chris: That’s the only LP we’ve done. All Gone’s released some 7”s, including a Mole House record that features some of the Mad Nanna dudes. We did an Intended 7” which was a Tyvek side-project band. We did a Tracey Trance 7” too.

Ryan: You and Michael (Zulicki) from Mad Nanna seem really simpatico. I know Mad Nanna toured with The Bibs.

Chris: I can’t recall how I met Michael. It was a while ago. I think we became aware of each other’s work through mail orders, places like Volcanic Tongue and Fusetron. We got in contact and started trading releases. We were both interested in a similar aesthetic. We’ve been friends for about five years now. We’re pretty diehard pen pals.

Michael came out to Michigan and we did a small tour together. I actually played drums for Mad Nanna on that tour. That was a cool experience. Our first show was in Columbus. Kevin Failure, the Pink Reason dude, booked it. That was a really good basement show. Mad Nanna’s drummer couldn’t make the tour, so I told Michael I’d do it. The first night was a little rough. I started out with a full drum set, but by the end of the night the kit was whittled down to three pieces. I was playing standing up. By Cleveland, I got the hang of it. I have recordings from that tour and the Chicago and Cleveland dates are the best. We’ve been meaning to get those out for a while now.

Ryan: The Bibs’ From the Fish Houses (2016) is my favorite record you’ve cut so far.

Chris: Thanks. I’m pretty proud of that record. It was a cool experience. The Bibs was me and my friends Travis (Galloway) and Alex (Franzen), who I grew up making music with. Alex and I had a bond going back to when we were teenagers. There was also some strife. Alex was junked out pretty bad. It was hard to get recording time in. He was in and out of rehab. I was simply glad the record got made and that it was with the whole band. The first tape, Everyday I Nap, was me and Alex. The second tape, Waiting for Alex, was cut when he was in rehab and was about him. Waiting for Alex was me and Travis. From the Fish Houses was recorded when Alex got out.

I loved the Bibs. The tour with Mad Nanna was actually when the band ended. Alex literally disappeared on that tour. We raged really hard in Chicago. We had a day off before the Cleveland show, which is only a couple of hours from Detroit. Alex just left. We didn’t know where he was for about two years. Alex is doing really well now. I didn’t expect a good ending to that story.

Ryan: You have Quilt Boy and Church Shuttle going currently. Church Shuttle is getting back to the experimental music you were cutting years earlier.

Chris: Yeah. After Alex left, it didn’t feel right to carry on as The Bibs. Alex was too crucial. I started recording the Quilt Boy stuff. I wanted that to be a solo project. There was just so much going on with the bands that I had been in. The Quilt Boy material was all over the place. It was electronic, but also prog and folk. I just kept making tapes. Sophomore Lounge hit me up about doing a Roachclip 7”. I told them Roachclip wasn’t a band anymore, but I sent them the Quilt Boy stuff which led to the “I Am Somebody” 7”. I recorded and played all of the music on that release. I was attempting to record nihilistic prog tracks in my basement. I lived in Philadelphia for a while; when I got back to Detroit, I put together a band for Quilt Boy. We built some momentum, played the Cropped Out Fest in Louisville (in 2016), but it kind of fizzled out. Everyone was involved in so many other bands.

I’ve been focusing more on Church Shuttle. I’ve been doing Church Shuttle for a while now. It’s definitely the most experimental stuff that I do. Church Shuttle has a 7” that’ll be out soon on Soft Abuse. I’m excited about that. Church Shuttle is all stream of consciousness. I try to push myself sonically with that project.

Ryan: You’ve been recording under your own name as well. We have that 7” coming out (on Spacecase).

Chris: I did a tape under my own name for All Gone about a year ago. That was just to get back to playing more conventional music. I wanted to play guitar again and write songs. Heath (Moerland) said he’d play drums for me. We plan to do some live shows. I’m interested in getting a band going for that material. I might keep it under my own name and get a proper backing band. A singer-songwriter deal. I never thought about doing that. I’m in my thirties. Maybe it’s time to be the singer-songwriter guy now.

Ryan: What’s on the horizon with All Gone?

Chris: I’m being a little lazy right now, but we do have things lined up. I have a Yureka Cash tape planned. She’s a friend of mine from Philly who’s also had a release on No Rent. It’s weirdo music that’s sort of hard to describe. We’re trying to get a Mad Nanna live record out. Also scheduled is a C10 release of five unreleased Bibs tracks and a Heaven Copy tape. Heaven Copy is my friend David Sutton from Philly. He also does LXV who’s released tapes on Soft Abuse. I think we’re doing a Creode tape. That’s going to be my weird, synth basement tape. It’s in the Los Angeles Free Music Society (LAFMS) zone. Dennis Duck-type stuff. We’re big fans of that around here.

Ryan: I went to a LAFMS retrospective about five years ago. To this day, Tom Recchion and the rest of the LAFMS remain underappreciated, even in Los Angeles.

Chris: I think so. What they were doing was really subterranean. There was nothing commercial about their music and they didn’t care. It’s some of the most interesting music from that time period.

#chrisalandurham #allgone #interviews #roachclip #thebibs #churchshuttle #madnanna

3 notes · View notes

mockjesse · 7 years

Text

100 important questions about jesse girard.

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

jesse thomas girard

Where and when were you born?

i was born in wilmington, north carolina on october 1st, 1988.

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

hans girard ( my father) has owned his own pub since he first came to america in 1986. he’s hard working, emotionally distant, and very a man of few words. hans only speaks when he absolutely has to. frieda girard (my mother) managed finances at the pub and was a part owner of a gift shop downtown. she was also very emotionally distant, but she was much more outspoken than her husband. she passed away in september of 2017.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

N/A ( i’m an only child, thank god )

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

now i reside in los angeles ( ocean park ), on my own in a 501 sq ft. studio apartment. it’s pretty cozy, i don’t think i’d ever upgrade, i like the space i have. my favorite spot is my balcony.

What is your occupation?

director/producer for the hit television show, countenance

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

i’m 6′3, 196 pounds, with brown eyes and dark brown hair. i live in oversized sweaters and jeans, but sometimes i’ll venture out in a pair of sweats and a t shirt, that’s quite rare. not as rare as formal attire. i don’t think i own a suit but i have two nice button down shirts and one pair of navy slacks. i have a scar that stretches from the bottom of my belly button to my left pelvic bone from a sledding accident when i was nine. i have two tattoos that are very hidden. one on my right hip ( a dara celtic knot for my maternal grandmother, who was irish ) and a vacancy sign across the right side of my chest ( a drunken decision )

To which social class do you belong?

upper class.

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

shellfish allergy, and a few mental illnesses.

Are you right- or left-handed?

lefthanded

What does your voice sound like?

deep and often monotone. friends have observed that i sometimes use a german accent (much like my fathers) to refer to anything german or my heritage.

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

“like”

“actually”

“literally”

“fuck you”

“don’t touch me”

“ok so”

“no”

“jesus fuck”

What do you have in your pockets?

loose change as always, my wallet, a pack of spearmint gum ( which i religiously chew ) and my keys.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

i bite my nails down to a nub. it makes everyone crazy. i nibble at them until they bleed. i crack my knuckles when i’m nervous. sometimes i click my tongue when i’m trying to avoid saying something I’ll regret. when someone is talking to me at work, i may walk away halfway through the conversation to do something else, not because i’m bored but because i have so many things to do and if i don’t do it now, i’ll forget.

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?

it wasn’t easy growing up in my household. you developed thick skin very early on, and you learned to rely on yourself. there weren’t many warm and fuzzy moments, but they provided all of my essential needs such as food, water, and a roof over my head.

What is your earliest memory?

probably my fourth birthday party at mcdonalds. i hated clowns. it was hell. i swear ronald had it out for me.

How much schooling have you had?

i got my bachelors at university of north carolina at wilmington and my masters at nyu

Did you enjoy school?

absolutely. it was an escape for me. home life could be very discouraging, i could show up on campus, take a test, and suddenly i felt better.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

i suppose my teachers and professors taught me most of what i know today.

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

my role models ended up being directors i idolized growing up. my favorites are stanley kubrick and alfred hitchcock. i suppose you can call them role models. i want what they have, i want to direct thrillers and leave the audience on the edge of their seats. i think they each value suspense and storytelling, and i do too.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

i did not get on very well with my parents. i think my uncles and aunts were easier to get along with, because they have become much more collectivist through the years. they gave me most of my affection in my childhood. my grandparents gave solid advice so i valued them too.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

at one point i wanted to be a police officer but most little boys do. that dream vanished quick, i think directing came at age eleven.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

i liked to watch movies. i hated tv shows. i would turn on hbo or showtime and just watch movie after movie while my parents worked. i liked to skateboard as a teenager, and i also took up photography as a hobby during middle school and high school.

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

many people joked that i was a 40 year old man trapped in a 8 year old’s body. i was always very quiet, very observant. i never spoke unless spoken to, that was rare. i was very restless, i hated bullies. i would defend a kid i didn’t even know on the playground. i was suspended for many fights.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? When and with whom was your first kiss?

not popular at all, i was too quiet. i had a few friends in middle school and one good one in high school. i did not open up to a lot of people, so i think a lot of people took that personal. my friends in middle school were always studious but goofy. we drifted apart when we went to different high schools. my best friend in high school was nick staffield, who was a lot like me. we were both quiet and distant but we had this mutual understanding that we didn’t need to know what the other person went home to. he had a pretty rough homelife too. so we would go to the cinema after class or stay behind after photography to look at our negatives. my first kiss with a girl was with annaleigh winslow, she was my first girlfriend. it was freshman year. she had to make all of the first moves because i was really unfamiliar with romance. my first kiss a guy was with nick, our senior year. it unfortunately was one of the reasons we lost touch.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

not a virgin, no. i lost my virginity with a girl in college, freshman year. we hooked up at a party, i think her name was rachel. we didn’t do formalities. it was nice, and she didn’t expect much from me after, so i appreciated her. however, it set unusually high standards for hookups at parties. my first time with a guy was different. it was senior year of college and we went into it with no strings attached. he was some big jock so i went with it, i figured he wasn’t into relationships. but he also wouldn’t stop texting me afterwards. his name was alex, i think he has a fiancee now.

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

i think my first table reading of countenance was surreal. it made me feel like it was all coming together. i feel bad, i made very few notes to the actors, but i think i was immersed, completely.

Who has had the most influence on you?

i would say my professors from tisch and uncw. their input, their criticism, and their teachings have pushed me to be where i am today.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

my greatest achievement was getting a second season of countenance. i honestly didn’t see it coming, but i’m a pessimist.

What is your greatest regret?

not saying goodbye to my mother before she passed.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

i don’t know if i’ve done anything evil but i did sleep with a married professor...

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

just some minor tickets for drinking in college.

When was the time you were the most frightened?

i hate heights, so any time i have to go on a plane? i have a panic attack.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

one time i stretched during a presentation in grad school and my shirt button popped off and everyone started laughing and i wanted to die.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

i think i would open myself up more to people and relationships. it would have prepared me more.

What is your best memory?

i think when i got a call about a network picking up countenance. i was floored, i threw up.

What is your worst memory?

finding out my mother had passed away while i was filming.

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

pessimist.

What is your greatest fear?

i think complete failure scares me a lot... but loneliness keeps me up at night.

What are your religious views?

agnostic.

What are your political views?

liberal

What are your views on sex?

love it, but it comes with a lot of strings attached so i’ve been holding off.

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

nah i couldn’t kill. just seriously injure.

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

i think levels of disrespect are what lead us to be evil. i won’t dwell on it or expand because it’ll anger me.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

no but i do believe in love.

What do you believe makes a successful life?

i think setting out to do what you want and then accomplishing some or most of it is pretty damn successful.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

i’m never honest. i hate telling others what’s on my mind, or how i’m feeling. it feels too personal, and it feels invasive. i’m selective about who i share with.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

i think we all do. i was conditioned to, but i’m unlearning all of them.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

i refuse to fucking sky dive because i don’t see the point of plummeting to your death and relying on a flimsy piece of cloth to save me ? no ? fuck that ? why do people like to fall out of the motherfucking sky?

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

uhh.. my friends. the few i have. if i form a close bond with someone, even if i don’t open up to them, i’d most likely take a bullet for them. i may be stoic but i’m a pile of mush inside.

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

i keep most people at a distance as a default. i don’t treat anyone poor unless they absolutely warrant it. i try to remain civil with everyone. with people i’m close with, my softer side is more common. i like to give them more of my personality to make up for my lack of affection or emotional availability.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

i’m not sure i have someone like that.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

no spouse, no s/o. it’s complicated.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

no i haven’t but i have experienced spells of infatuation and it’s probably the worst thing i’ve ever dealt with in my life. who likes to feel all that shit at once? jesus, what a mess.

What do you look for in a potential lover?

i’d really like.. someone who understands me without any invasive questions. they won’t ask me for more than i can give. i’m so inexperienced in romance so my s/o would have to be patient with me. i guess beyond that? a nice smile.. yeah i’d like them to have a nice smile.

How close are you to your family?

not very. i do speak with my aunts sometimes, that’s about it.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

no family, i’m not really sure if i’ll ever reach that point in my life. it sounds terrifying. i don’t think i’m qualified to take care of another human like that. it’s miraculous my fish have survived as long as they have.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

there’s some people in the crew and the cast that i might call if i absolutely had to. i really don’t like to rely on someone else, though.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

not really.. i mean once again i feel like one person might come to mind but it’s.. yeah that’s dumb, sorry. we barely know each other so i’m overreacting.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

my goldfish would probably miss me, they wouldn’t be able to eat, after all.

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

i don’t despise anyone. i dislike a few people. i think they all know who they are.

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

god i should avoid conflict but i don’t. i try to remain neutral unless i’m having a bad day, or if i feel like someone is being treated poorly. then the gloves come off.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

i hate doing it, but yeah. i think my job has taught me that the only way to succeed is to take a leadership role. it drains me, but the outcome is always rewarding.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

jesus fuck, no way. those convention panels shouldn’t exist. that’s my hell. i hate answering questions, especially personal ones. thank god, the business related questions are usually directed at me, while the personal ones are directed at my cast. otherwise i think i’d lose it.

Do you care what others think of you?

i think it depends on the person. i care what my family thinks. other than that.. not really.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

i like photography and painting with watercolors. it helps with creativity so i never run dry. i get inspiration from the smallest thing, so it keeps me fresh.

What is your most treasured possession?

my projector or my laptop. i love technology so much, i wish i had something more meaningful but that’s what comes to mind.

What is your favorite color?

navy or olive.

What is your favorite food?

grilled cheese. i think i eat it more than i should.

What, if anything, do you like to read?

i think i just thumb through the classics, the most. steinbeck is my favorite author, sometimes i’ll read thoreau.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

a movie with beautiful cinematography, a song with a symphony or large instrumental accompany, or a mini series.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

i think if you drew blood from me, half of it would actually be red wine. i love red wine. i drink a glass or two every night. i used to smoke cigarettes... i’ll smoke one after sex because i’m a walking cliche. i hate drugs for the most part. they never give me the thrill people claim to have when they take them. to me it’s a waste of time when you could have a better night with a bottle of cabernet.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

usually i’ll put a movie on my projector and i’ll pretend to start a book, but then i’ll just watch a tv show or something.

What makes you laugh?

i actually love certain vines. cute animal vines have a place in my stony heart.

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

rain ponchos are fucking atrocious.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

i usually get up and paint or i’ll sit outside on my balcony and people watch with a cup of coffee. usually everyone’s drunk, so what more could you ask for?

How do you deal with stress?

i stress clean. or i stew about it until i can nap.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

planning is sexy. a top ten turn on for me.

What are your pet peeves?

well there’s a special place in hell for anyone who doesn’t use a fucking turn signal when switching lanes.

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

usually i get up, grab a cup of coffee and a granola bar and head to work. if i wake up late and forget the granola bar or coffee, my coworkers are in trouble.

What is your greatest strength as a person?

i think my determination and organization. i believe that’s how i got my own show at a young age like this

What is your greatest weakness?

my inability to relate to people or my emotional capacity. it’s just low and i think i really miss out on a lot because of it.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i think i’d be more open with my friends. tell them more about myself.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

introverted.

Are you generally organized or messy?

organized.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

three things i’m good at: my job, anything requiring creativity, & organization

three things i’m bad at: anything with hand eye coordination, staying in my lane, & responsibility.

Do you like yourself?

this is a loaded question. i like traits about myself. overall there’s a lot i’d change.

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

i would love one oscar, at least. i feel like i could easily retire with one (1) oscar.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

hopefully still at countenance, maybe wrapping it up and venturing into movies.

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

in my sleep. please @ god or something.

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

travel is always on my bucket list but that’s hard in 24 hours. i think i’d make a lot of phone calls and say stuff to people that i couldn’t say right now. i would want everyone to know exactly how i feel about them. i’d probably eat a whole bowl of cookie dough because you gotta go out in a blaze of glory. and then maybe i’d have sex one last time because it’s been awhile...

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

hopefully, my accomplishments on screen. i know i can also be difficult on set... but i’d like my cast and crew to think of me in a positive light... maybe have an impact on them too.

What three words best describe your personality?

witty, tempestuous, & protective.

What three words would others probably use to describe you?

stoic, tempestuous, & enigmatic.

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)

ooc; honestly jesse ?! if you spent half your time telling others how you really felt, you’d solve 99.9% of your problems. it’s so hard to open up, but you’re missing out on life by holding everyone at an arms length, man !! please just @ people next time ? jesus christ dude.

#valencetalk #oh boy this is a mess im so sorry

9 notes · View notes