#my plans to be productive school work wise

[copiawife]

i don't want to get my hopes up but i might be starting fashion school in the fall aaaaaa

[peachkkuma]

ᰍִ ۫͟ ͟ ☁️ ִ✧ 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄

hello, I’m Tiffany and this is my manifestation diary! If you haven’t read my previous diary entries yet, recently I’ve come to the realization that I’ve overcome all of my obstacles and there truly is nothing in my way except for me. So I made the decision yesterday to put my foot down and take the leap of faith, in other words, stop putting off manifesting my dream life because of fear. now this account will hold not just my diary entries but also the documentation of my journey to finally and seriously manifest my dream life.

╰┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄ ♡ ♡ ♡ 05.21.2024

let’s begin!

ㅤㅤㅤ𝐈. ⊰ ۫ 🐻‍❄️ ◌ ִ ੭ ˑ DEFINING THE OBJECTIVE

I want to make the end goal a bit more clear, the term dream life is both pretty straightforward and a bit vague. what would I like my dream life to include? how would my dream life make me feel? and ofc, I’m not just manifesting my dream life, I’m manifesting my dream self. what would my self concept be? how would I like to be?

tiffany’s dream life check list - what it means to live my dream life

attend my dream school

be 100% perfectly healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally, in every way basically)

have good eating habits and a good relationship with food

have perfect straight A pluses (revision to previous grades as well)

have the perfect friend group for me

healthy, super soft, hydrated, moisturized, smooth clear skin (and elimination of acne genes) (body + face)

perfect tangle free hair at all times, pretty, voluminous, bombshell hair

a healthy, perfect, loving relationship with everyone in my family

own a super cute and fluffy golden retriever puppy

high paying jobs for my parents <3

have a rolls royce with a pink exterior

grow taller

have every single clothing item I’ve saved on Pinterest

have my YouTube channel blow up

complete head to toe desired appearance

desired lifestyle

perfect eyesight

be super good at makeup and have all desired products

have a gorgeous bedroom

have a very active and lively social life

have the perfect, most ideal school, social, and home life

completely healed phone addiction

have a lot of desired hobbies that I’m very good at

have a fun and eventful life, always have fun plans and something going on

be on the right track career-wise

elimination of social anxiety and shyness

high self esteem and confidence

be more in touch with my culture

be a complete master at manifestation

huh, this is shorter and less serious than I thought it’d be, ig this was also a way of getting out of my own head. I thought manifesting my dream life would be a bit challenging for some reason, but ig a dream life rlly isn’t as complex as I thought it was. I mean now I feel silly, it’s just a dream life! nothing more than a lifestyle and a few personal fixes. I feel like I just got humbled.

𝐈𝐈. ʚ ⊹ ִ⏲️ 𑁯͟ ɞ THE OUTLINE

alright, I know what I want and I know how manifestation works. but just to make sure I don’t over complicate anything or things dont get confusing, I’ll create a sort of plan or outline. Little steps I can fall back on if I get a bit lost.

step number one we have covered, have a desire

step number two, put your foot down and make the firm decision that you have it. this decision is for good, nothing u do can take this decision away so don’t u dare worry about “ruining progress” or “messing up”— u’re better than that.

step number three, once you’ve decided it’s done, it’s done. the only and I mean it when I say only thing for you to do is to act like it. imagine you, the creator of your reality, making the decision that you have something only to then be like “is it coming?” “do I have it?” BE FR!! act like you have it, think like you have it, and see the world as if you have it— because you do. you decided you did, didn’t u? It’s ur reality, what u say, goes. and no, you’re not acting like u have it to get something out of the 3D, you’re doing it for your sanity. Because you deserve a break, you deserve relief, you deserve to be the you that has it all!! let yourself be in the sowf because why shouldn’t u be certain you have it? don’t entertain anything that says u don’t. getting in the sowf is easy, u deciding u have it is all the confirmation u need. there’s no reason for u to not be certain u have it.

sowf = knowing that u have it

step number four, optional not necessary but it’s really gonna help and is fun. immerse yourself in the new story. experience it!! have fun!! u finally got what u want, u finally r who u want to be, so choose to live that life!! try methods for the sake of fulfilling urself (never to make anything appear in the 3D, u know better, 3D desperation doesn’t get anybody anywhere.) try out methods to have fun and be more familiar with having what u want.

that’s it girl, that’s all u gotta do, that’s all u ever had to do. decide it, experience it, assume it. u don’t always have to feel “good” or “happy” u just have to know u have what u want, u just have to assume. the goal is to truly know that u have it, to be faced with the 3D and still know it in ur bones u have what u want. u deserve to trust urself like that, u deserve to be fulfilled like that, and u deserve those things from YOU not from the 3D. U deserve to feel secure in urself, don’t let ur security come from the 3D. loa bloggers mean it when they say the materialization is simply the cherry on top and I get that now. For me, it’s about being able to depend and trust urself, to rely on urself, and in that way everything else comes off the pedestal.

✉️ : ahhh I forgot to finish up this post yesterday but here it is!! I’m so excited!! part two to come soon ♡

[lexirosewrites]

I've been in a funk ADHD wise so I haven't had the same inspiration I usually do🥺 let's give this a try

Steve & Robin r platonic soulmates & they're both omegas & they're gross twins with little to zero boundaries

They share the same piece of gum till it runs out of flavor, they've helped eachother build up a storage of tasteful nudes on their respective phones, when Robin had constipation Steve not only got the laxatives he held her hand in the bathroom, when Steve got food poisoning Robin not only helped him out of bed she helped him aim for the toilet or trash can, their heats r synced up in a way tht allows them to take care of eachother in turns, yes Steve taught Robin how to kiss, yes Robin taught Steve to use a knotting dildo

When Steve eventually gets kicked out of his house bc his parents want to sell it he just goes to the Buckley's with a couple of suitcases & one box bc so much of his stuff was already at their place anyway, robins parents barely blink when stobin tells them tht Steve is moving in, they all cry when Steve says he'll b changing his last name to Buckley tho

Robin graduates high school & then they're setting off for the big city so she can study linguistics & Steve can study cosmetology

When they get their degrees they decide "why the hell not?" & go to live in California bc neither of them have seen the Pacific ocean before. They end up in LA even tho the plan was San Francisco, and they both find semi fulfilling jobs. Robin works as an interpreter with various state government offices, helping individuals whose first language isn't English, taking some of the pressure off of the children in the situation

Steve finds work at a small hole in the wall salon that's been in business longer than the many fancy salons all around LA. He's doted on by the regulars, surrounding shop owners, and his coworkers. There's a small hole in the wall barber shop a few shop fronts down the street tht the salon has a friendly relationship with. On the corner is a teeny tiny burger spot that's been around since the 1920s with no changes to the menu except for price & it has the best burgers Steve & Robin have EVER had.

It's a good life, the only thing they want tht they cant give eachother is a romantic connection, but they've tried every app & no one seems to actually want a relationship or they get weird abt how close they are

Well one day a chipper female alpha wanders into the salon looking for a last minute shampoo & trim to keep her strawberry blonde waves healthy. The only person available is Steve & he does so well tht the alpha introduces herself as Chrissy & books an appointment with him for a couple of months later when she knows she'll need another trim.

Except Steve & Robin don't rlly engage with social media, they rarely watch recent shows or movies, and their taste skews between horror or romance there's no in-between. So neither is aware tht the nice female alpha Chrissy is THE Chrissy Munson, an up & coming movie star, adopted sister to Eddie Munson the lead guitar of world famous metal/rock band Corroded Coffin, and someone very fussy abt her hair.

Chrissy comes back for her next appointment & at the end she point blank asks him if he'd like to be the only person doing her hair for the next 8 months, he asks her why & she realizes he genuinely has no idea who she is, so she explains & tht she has a production filming soon & she wants him to handle hair at the end of the day to wash out all of the gunk that gets into it for filming

Steve says yes only after the salon owner & regulars tell him to say yes & tht there will b a job waiting for him when he's done

Blah blah blah

Steddie meet & fall in love then buckingham meet & fall in love

scarily close stobin is my favorite flavor! and of course all steddie needs a side helping of buckingham🥰💕💕

[ros3ybabe]

Day 1/90: 90-Day Challenge 🎀

Here we go again!!

Happy 1st of Febrary, lovelies 🩷

I was initially planning on coming back starting Monday but omg was I so tired after working all weekend and trying to keep up with school work. And now tomorrow is Friday, again? At least I'm not working double shifts this weekend, thankfully.

🏋‍♀️ Physical Health

walked ~10k steps

ordered some groceries

attempted to go to the gym (was having a bad day so it did not work out like that)

🧠 Mental Health

not much, but had a well needed, sorta relationship check in with my boyfriend due to some worrisome and upsetting dreams I had the previous night

♥️ Emotional Health

distracted myself from being sad and grumpy

📚 Intellectual Health

completed and submitted my 1st psyc assignment

planned homework for the next week in my planner

wrote down a sheet of things to remember for chemistry

🏘 Adulting

recieved my new insurance card in the mail and the virtual copy as well

set up an appointment with my therapist for this month

set up an appointment with my psych doctor for this month

set up an appointment with my PCP for this month

submitted an order for my birth control + other medication thru my pharmacy app

paid rent + made a credit card payment

🥰 Self Care

washed a load of laundry

scheduled some cleaning chores for the weekend afternoons

set up a morning routine (in my notes app) for me to begin following

bought some more electrolyte waters for the week

today was honestly not the best day for me mental health wise, if I'm being completely honest. I nearly cried a little but, was definitely overly mean to myself, and felt like garbage for a good part of today. but that didn't stop me from making myself a good dinner, relaxing a bit, being productive, and ending the day in a good mood.

I have no clue what tomorrow's post is going to look like since I have an 8am to 230pm class (we're going to be cooking for ourselves in preparation for the mini restaurant well be running next week). Right after class I'll have to change my shirt and head up a small hill on campus to my job, where I'll work from about 3pm to 930ish pm. so we will see what happens in tomorrow's update!

til next time lovelies 🩷

[anim-ttrpgs]

"All our projects" so there's other ANIM projects in production? anything you're able to talk about?

Yes, we plan to have a long-running career in the TTRPG space, and have several backburnered!

I’m just gonna rapid-fire these off the top of my head. We don’t know exactly which one of these is coming after Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is fully released, because it is actually our patreon subscribers that vote on that.

Mastadon(title pending)

Yes, this is intentionally misspelled though we might change that in the future in case it hinders search results and stuff. This is a world where dark fantasy and 90s retro-futurism collide, literally. Think of knights with machine guns, space marines with enchanted swords, high-calibre rounds leaving dents in mythril breastplates, and men-at-arms on cybernetic horses. In the distant future of 2016, a scientific experiment on a lunar research station opened a portal to another world. At the same time, in a dimension of sorcery and feudalism, a council of wizards opened a portal to another world, and explorers from each land found themselves in the same mysterious place.

Cultures and technologies have clashed and mixed in these mysterious lands since. The PCs are mercenaries, taking odd, usually violent, jobs to get by.

Gameplay-wise it’s largely a combat-focused dungeon crawler emulating retro-FPS combat in TTRPG form, with an emphasis on making every type of gun feel totally unique by tying them to entirely different dice mechanics, which in turn makes warriors using these guns strategize entirely differently.

Bone Grinder

Bone Grinder is a “dumber” game, but still with an emphasis on combat. It has a notably more punk and metal aesthetic. Imagine a rocker with a mohawk and leather jacket killing a demon with an axe guitar that is also actually an axe. One of the core mechanics is that players will “bone” the game master by “throwing the bones” at them, which means literally trying to hit them with dice. A successful hit will add a bonus to whatever dice roll comes up when the thrown die lands. When it is the monsters’ turns, the game master will throw that same die right back at them. So if you throw a D6, that’s a D6 attack coming back at your PC next turn. If you throw a D20, that’s a D20 attack coming back at your character next right, so you better make it count, better kill ‘em in one shot!

(We recommend using plastic dice for this one, no metal dice!)

Death Bed

This is another working title, and it is a very serious attempt to emulate Dark Souls and Dark Souls style combat in a turn-based TTRPG in response to the abysmal Dark Souls: The Role-Playing Game that was just a lazy D&D5e book.

This game will be a bit more OSR-y, with D20 roll-under mechanics like old-school D&D for skill checks, and very simple attack determinants. It will have an emphasis on predicting enemy movement, stamina management, and choice between blocking or dodging attacks. It will also feature a system whereby the PCs are not permanently dead after being killed, but do “hollow” after each death. There are several stages of hollowing, each with downsides and upsides. Fully alive PCs will be more nimble, alert, and powerful, but stand out more to mindless hollow enemies, drawing more aggro. More hollowed PCs will have stat debuffs, but hollows are less likely to attack other hollows, giving them less aggro priority. Of course, if a PC dies too many times without restoring their life force, they will become a mindless hollow themselves, becoming an enemy that the party must slay if they want to recover that PC’s equipment.

Untitled Mushroom Game

A working title of course. This game takes a lot of inspiration from the earlier Paper Mario games, and like Bone Grinder, it will have actual physical things you can do with the dice to gain bonuses to your characters’ attacks, which is meant to emulate the “action commands” from Paper Mario in TTRPG format. One example would be building a larger dice pool for an attack based on how many D6s you can stack into a tower before they fall down, with the tower falling down constituting the rolling of the dice.

Eureka Adventure Modules Vol. 2

(Vol. 1 is the set of adventure modules that are coming with the Kickstarter.) Eureka fully releasing won’t mean we’re done with it. We plan to support all of our games for as long a time as possible with new adventure modules and other supplements. (But expect the other supplements to be very cheap if not outright free. We don’t want to make Eureka a game where you have to buy 15 $50 books just to have the full experience.) This will be a set of 5, 10, maybe more pre-written adventure modules for use with Eureka. For a few teasers, one of our ideas features the PCs getting stranded in the Mojave desert, one of them features the PCs getting trapped in underground drainage tunnels with a mysterious creature stalking them, and more horrifying mysteries.

The Eureka Mobster Manual

Another working title, but it’s pretty catchy. This will act as a “monster manual” for Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, featuring prémisse stats and GMing advice mundane NPCs like cops, mafia enforcers, hapless bystanders, etc. and also actual monsters, both human and inhuman. One of the monsters I am most excited about introducing is actual demons. Not just some red guy with horns, in fact they’re likely to be completely invisible. I know this term gets thrown around a lot by people who don’t know what it means, but in Eureka demons will be more “biblically accurate.” Think more The Exorcist and less DOOM. A demon doesn’t want to go “blahrarawa!” and kill you, a demon wants to gradually talk you into killing yourself. This also may feature additional playable monsters, such as the gorgon and dullahan(Kickstarter stretch goals for the main rulebook that I don’t think we’re going to meet unfortunately), plus others if we can come up with more.

Overdose

A working title again. This will be a large collection of “drag-and-drop” tactical combat encounters for Eureka, for when a GM needs a fleshed out and challenging final showdown between the PCs and the bad guy goons. These will feature plenty of cover, alternate routes, and “woo roll elements”(stuff that can get knocked over, exploded, destroyed, etc. by stray bullets, thereby changing the environment in exciting and unexpected ways.). All of this is so that the GM doesn’t have to come up with all the complexities of a good Eureka combat encounter on the fly.

That’s about all I can think of right now. After Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is fully released and the dust is settled, we will hold a vote with out patreon subscribers to find out what the fans most want us to work on next.

However, all of these things that I have mentioned are in a very raw state of completion, or even just in the idea stage. If you want to see all these projects, and more, release in the coming years, then RPG-making needs to be a long-term viable career for us. I, personally, am disabled and have a very hard time finding regular, sustainable work at “real jobs,” so this is especially important for my financial future. It’s about the only (marketable) skill I’m good at, and it’s something I enjoy doing, so I’m making this push now for my future.

The best way you can make this a viable long-term career for us is to support the Eureka Kickstarter (only 24-hours left at the time of posting this), buy our games, and subscribe to our Patreon.

The more successful the Kickstarter is, not only does more art and stuff get added to the Eureka rulebook and adventure modules, but the more buzz it generates, and the more buzz it generates the more journalistic support and more financial support we get. Even if it’s just for charity purposes to help me pay future bills when I can’t hold a normal job, pledging $10 is enough to get your name in the Eureka rulebook, and if you can’t give anything, we totally understand—we’d rather you put food on your table than go broke supporting our dreams. If you can share the Kickstarter to discord servers and the like in the last 24 hours of its crowdfunding window, or just share news of the game with people after the Kickstarter closes, that is a huge huge help on its own.

We, and especially I, am thankful beyond my ability to express in words for how much support the Kickstarter has already gotten, and the patreon subscribers whose support paid for all of our advertising budget to get Eureka as well-known as it is. This is a project of extremely professional scope and calibre, and I’m proud to say that we probably shouldn’t have been able to pull it off with as small a team as we are, we’re just that talented and persistent, but no matter how talented or persistent we are, it is the fans and supporters that make it possible for us to pursue a creative career. Thank you all.

24 hours left on the Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy Kickstarter, crowdfunding closes at 2:00 PM CST on Friday, May 10th! That’s mid-day tomorrow! Please support it while you still can! If you’re reading this after the Kickstarter has closed, you can support us through ko-fi or patreon, and if you’re a $5 subscriber or more to our patreon, you will get regular PDFs of increasingly finished beta versions of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy and its adventure modules as we continue to work on finishing it using the Kickstarter money.

You can also help us by checking out our merchandise!

If you just want to play, you don’t have to pay. You can get a beta PDF of the Eureka rulebook plus character sheets and adventure modules FOR FREE from our website or itch.io page.

Join our TTRPG Book Club We nominate, vote on, and split into groups (based on schedule compatibility) differnt indie games, then discuss, just like a book club! Plus it’s just a great place to discuss and play new TTRPGs you might not be able to otherwise!

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

[lady06reaper]

Drug Dealer! Kenny x Stoner! reader

This was requested by @mccormickgf ! I hope you enjoy it!

TW! MENTIONS OF WEED AND GETTING HIGH, IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT SORTA THING PLEASE EVACUATE NOW!

Kenny never thought he’d be in a situation like this, both romantic and work wise. I mean, yea, he does drugs, but he never thought he’d be slinging them for extra cash to be able to take care of Karen. But he really never thought he’d fall in love with one of his regulars either. You knew he wasn’t doing this for fun, he was doing this because he had to have the extra money, and of course you admire him too much to buy from anyone else. Weed was the only drug Kenny would sell, just straight bud and carts, and that was the only drug you would do. Truly a match made in heaven.

You had been buying from Kenny since high school really, you were the only girl who understood and was willing to buy from him instead of using your body as payment. You thought Kenny was attractive, but you would never stoop as low as that, and you had a good paying job so it wasn’t a problem. You and him had planned on meeting at his house when he got off work at the mechanics shop and picked Karen up from the babysitters, (it was really Kyle who said it’d be a good idea to have Ike and Karen play together). You got off work a little bit early so you swung by your house real quick to put comfy clothes on to be able to use the product as soon as you buy it. 

You got to Kenny's house just a few minutes after he did, you opened the door and braced for impact expecting a little ball of sunshine to come hurling towards you. But it never happened, you looked around and Karen was nowhere to be found, but Kenny was. He was sitting on the couch sorting out product and counting money. It was like an actual drug den but without the hardcore narcotics. There were beanbags and child friendly tapestries, so it could be Karen's indoor playground but also a safe area to get high. 

“Hey there hot stuff! What we looking for today? THC? Delta 9?” Kenny asked, looking up from what he was doing.

FIRST PERSON POV

“Got any indica carts by chance?” I questioned looking down at the table where all the Devils Lettuce products were sprawled out. Kenny nodded and handed me the cart, I pulled out my pen and twisted in the new indica cart. “Thanks Ken.” I turned on the pen and took a small hit to see how it’d affect me.

“It's on the house don’t worry about it,” Kenny shook his hand to emphasize the no money. I didn’t listen so without a word I threw down 60 bucks on the coffee table, it’s actually 40 but he deserves a good tip. He took one look at it and slide it back over to me.

“I said it’s on the house.”

“And I said it’s 40 plus tip,” I slid the money back to him, he slammed his hand on the money to prevent it from going back to him.

“I can’t take your money right now, it’s not that I don’t need it I do, it just feels wrong charging you seeing as how you’re a dear friend of mine.” Kenny looked me in the eyes when he said that. Dear friend of his? What kinda crack is he on? Kenny never spoke like that, and if he did he was high on something. He didn’t look like he was on something, but he’s also an experienced stoner so it takes a lot to even get him close to a high.

“Well then if you need it then take it, if not for you use it for Karen, I’m sure she’d enjoy some new toys or clothes,” I took my hand off the money and leaned back in the La-z-boy I claimed as my spot for when I come over. 

“You’re not wrong, I’m sure she would, but I just can’t take it.”

“Kenneth McCormick, if you don’t take this money I’ll just give it to Karen and take her on a candy shopping trip so she’ll be bouncing off the walls as punishment for not taking my money right here right now.”

“Jokes on you, I can just drop her off at Kyles and she’ll be his problem when she's on a sugar buzz,”

“Goddammit Kenny, why don’t you just take my money?”

“Because I love you!” Kenny raised his voice a little, he looked down in between his legs away from me as if he was ashamed. I was taken aback, we’ve known each other since elementary school so it wasn’t a huge shock, but it was to my mind. He wasn’t moving, he was waiting for my response to his confession. I got up, moved his arm away from his face, and sat down gently on his lap. He leaned back on the couch to make more room for us, I took his face in my hands to make him look at me.

“I love you too Kenny, and I truly mean it,” his eyes lit up, they moved down to my lips as if he was asking for permission. Before he could with his voice, I moved in and connected our lips. His lips were kinda cracked, but the chapstick I had on helped to lessen the friction between rough and smooth. We pulled away and smiled at each other, he leaned over on the coffee table to grab his pen and the remote to the TV. Kenny turned on a movie, took a hit of his pen, and leaned his head on my head that was resting on his shoulder. I took a hit of my pen and snuggled more into his shoulder, we both exhaled the smoke we were holding in and watched the movie for the rest of the night as stoner lovers.

[savage-rhi]

Birkin: where are you going all dressed up.

Wesker: political donor party. One of umbrellas many clients.

Birkin: republican or democrat?

Wesker: does it matter? The president is going to be quite cooperative with us no matter which.

William made a fist as he finished putting away the last of his slides, deciding it was best to call it night. Cataloguing micro organisms could wait indefinitely for all he cared, it wasn't like Umbrella needed more hands on deck for this sort of menial work. He did give the tedious assignment credit where it was due, for it relieved some of the tension from his earlier spat with Annette.

He slouched in his chair, mind combing over every detail of their fight regarding Sherry. Who was going to take her to school, who was going to ensure she had supper come Friday, who was going to take her clothes shopping, who would stay behind in the labs to get their projects finished...it went on, and on until he could hardly stomach the idea of being around Annette, much less his own child.

His own child.

William glared at the screens running their numbers in front of him.

"No, don't think like that..." He muttered to himself.

Being a professional scientist and a family man wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Once upon a time, he truly thought he could have both worlds--that he could give his finite time and energy to everyone and still come out on top. As Sherry got older though, William realized too little too late that he wasn't cut out for juggling so much. He knew Annette felt the same stress, arguably more than himself. She unfortunately had more to prove to Umbrella, due to dogmatic behavior outside of his control.

Eventually--like all his projects--he'd have to sacrifice some for the sake of the others. Indecision was his kryptonite in the field, and William was slowly figuring out the same weakness plagued his family life as well.

Annette and he had no business bringing a child into this mess.

William snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the security door open. He turned his head, doing a double take as he saw Wesker step inside, spotting a tuxedo and looking more professional than usual. He spun around in his computer chair, and tiredly grinned.

"Where you going all dressed up?"

"Political donor party," Wesker simply replied, adjusting his glasses. "One of Umbrellas many clients."

Birkin scoffed. "Republican or Democrat?"

"Does it matter?" Wesker huffed. "The president is going to be quite cooperative with us no matter which."

"Touché'."

"I heard you had a marital quarrel." Wesker said.

"More like several," William countered with a laugh. "I take it you're here to cheer me up?"

Wesker growled. "Do I look like I get paid to play therapist on top of managing research and running a godforsaken police department?"

"Could've fooled me. I heard everyone in the RPD calls you 'Mom' behind your back. " William's smile grew as he noticed Wesker visibly twitch from the nickname remark. "So why are you here?"

"The higher ups want you and I to work a double this Thursday night. They want to speed up production on the T variants."

"This Thursday?"

"Do you have plans?"

William breathed out his nose, his eyes gazing toward his shoes. He could already hear Annette screaming at him for this.

"Not that it's my business," Wesker cleared his throat, watching William's gaze fall onto him once more. "But perhaps it would be wise to consider vouching for Annette to step down from this division. She could stay home longer with your little, while we hold the fort."

"I couldn't do that to her," As much as she's pissed me off...William thought as he shook his head. "You and I wouldn't have come so far had she not pulled strings."

"Be it as it may, although Annette herself is quite competent, you are the brains behind this lab. If you crash and burn, we all do. If Annette does...well, it's a pity but it wouldn't be enough to rock the boat."

"Don't you have somewhere to be?"

Wesker checked his watch, and he realized the time. Sighing, he ventured back to the door and finished the last of his thoughts.

"Think about it Birkin, for all our sake."

As the security door cracked and shut, William let out a breath while he rubbed his forehead. Wesker was right. Logically, it made sense and would help Sherry in the long run, but he didn't know if he could do it--to throw Annette under the bus. That didn't mean however that the idea was totally lost on him. It all circled back to how he viewed his projects: which ones would he let go, and which ones would he invest in.

He finally had his answer hours later, and made peace with his sins.

If you like my work and feel generous, feel free to donate to my ko-fi account or my cash app account!

Cash App: $JayRex1463

[hyenahunt]

Saga: Rivals - 21

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Jun, Hiyori, Seiya, Jin, Mika, Madara, Akiomi, Sora

Proofreading: 310mc (JP) & hyenahunt (ENG)

Translation: kotofucius

Akiomi: Ahaha… Oh, how I wish you'd told me that much sooner.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Location: Reverse Live Stage

Time: Hours later. Reverse Live, at the start of the second day.

Jun: “♪~♪~♪”

“Lilith! The original heretic! The revolutionary who spoke against God’s deception when none dared to!”

Hiyori: “Lilith! The mother of humanity, flung into the depths of Hell! How she screamed of love and sang of hope, no matter how far she fell!”

Seiya: “Lilith! That is who we are! Buried in the depths of history, we are the true idols, long forgotten by the world!”

Hiyori: “How long it has been! How I waited to meet you again! In the darkness, you were the only light I could see!”

Seiya: “I love you! I’ve loved you since this world came to be!”

Jun: “Destiny split us apart, and yet, we’ve been brought together once more!”

Hiyori: “Never shall we part again! Your warmth is forever ours!”

Jun: “Now, let us embrace! Let us love together, even if the very world forbids it!”

Seiya: “We are Lilith! It is to love you that we’ve arrived…!”

“♪~♪~♪”

Jin: …Ooh, how passionate. Or maybe over-the-top. Kinda like Valkyrie, actually.

Mika: Hey, you ain't ever gonna catch us sayin' love, love, love over an’ over like that! We’re passionate but artistic! Even if we’re speakin’ about love, we’d be a lot more subtle 'bout it.

Madara: Hahaha. It does seem like a refined… or rather, popularized version of Valkyrie’s methods.

They’ve got extravagant production for their stage too, probably thanks to the big shots all wanting to suck up to Hidaka Seiya —

So, their melodramatic lines suit the atmosphere, actually.

But unlike Shu-san, they’re not drowning in their own world. Instead, they're opening it up to the public; they gaze into their audience’s eyes and actively pull them in.

Akiomi: Lilith… I’d been wary of what tactics they might use, but they've been taking an unexpectedly materialistic and straight-forward approach.

They maximized the promotion, stage production, and everything else they could; and even shamelessly used Hidaka-daisenpai’s fame to call in an army of fans.

War is essentially about numbers. With everything so perfectly coordinated like this, well, there's no way to fight back through ordinary means.

Hidaka-daisenpai has truly made the most out of his advantage as an active, highly popular, professional idol.

He is on a completely different level from us, who finance our own small-scale concerts within the confines of an idol training school.

Even budget-wise, he definitely has one or two more zeros on us, I'm sure.

Madara: Hahaha. Especially when we as Ba-barrier don’t really have that much work, so we have no funds for battle, either…

We've turned our lack of cohesion into our selling point, making a novel show with each of our unique charms and gaining an upper hand that way.

In other words, we resort to clever schemes to put up a semblance of fight, so we’re at a disadvantage against planned head-on attacks.

Mika: …They’re so vulgar. I don’t reckon I like ‘em. They’re totally different from Valkyrie, 'kay?

Sora: HaHa~♪ Yep, totally different!

Valkyrie paints a single color over and over until it reaches a density no one can reproduce —

But Lilith kinda takes a bucket of paint and goes “splash!” with it, I guess~?

…And by spilling that much paint, they erase all the other colours.

Jin: Ooh~… I thought I heard grumbling. Turns out it was the defeated Akiyan and his merry men.

Akiomi: You're truly something… We're your good rivals and comrades from the same school, who have been supporting you this whole time both behind the scenes and out in the open — Is that any way to talk to us?

Madara: Hahaha. I’ve got no comeback since we did lose spectacularly last night!

Smashed to smithereens, in a most dramatic death! If Rain-bows are rainbows, then we must be fleeting fireworks!

Mika: Why're ya havin’ so much fun even though we lost, Mikejima-senpai?

Madara: Well, when the opponent did such a fine job in gaining the upper hand on us, the loss felt conversely exhilarating, see!

I quite enjoy defeat, actually! Especially when it’s the result of an all-out fight!

Mika: I can’t understand that feelin’…

Valkyrie an' Lilith are totally different, but fer some reason it jus' reminded me of the time when fine kicked us down.

Madara: Hmm. Their methods indeed resemble that of the former fine…

If there's a quantifiable way to win, then pouring all you possess will bring definite victory.

In the war last year, Eichi-san used all the lofty assets available to him to invent a game board that worked to his advantage.

Well, he was only making the most of his perks as a rich heir with money and authority… so it wasn’t exactly a low move.

Akiomi: Hmm. In this case, all participating units are new groups formed specifically for Project-Saga…

More often than not, it’s the audience’s first time seeing them.

As it’s hard to tell everyone apart at a glance, Lilith ends up standing out due to their expensive costume and production. Their lavish extravagance only makes them all the more eye-catching to the audience.

Not to mention, the famous Hidaka Seiya is in the group. That’s more than enough name and power.

Though yes, of course, these things don’t decide the entire value of an idol.

But under these circumstances, it becomes a challenge to even put up a fight. Without a good strategy on your side, they'll simply overpower you.

Madara: Wow, how ruthless! I guess miracles don’t happen all the time! Hahaha☆

Mika: Seriously, why d’ya look like yer havin' the time of yer life? I’m right frustrated, personally~ Unlike you, Mikejima-senpai, I ain't a fan of losing!

Madara: Alright! Let’s turn that frustration into motivation, then! We might’ve lost yesterday, but let's win today!

Liltih may have wiped the floor with us, but we're steadily winning against all the other units we’re up against! We still have a chance!

Akiomi: That's right. The rule isn’t as simple as retiring with one defeat.

While we’re nowhere as active as Rain-bows, we're still one of the most senior players of Project-Saga —

As a result, we've amassed fans through all our activities. We won't lose so easily to newbie units.

Sora: Yeah! Schemes and tricks are Sora's specialty~ Magic exists for the oppressed minority!

Even if the conformist majority closes in on us, we'll sidestep them and make a miracle happen!

Mika: Ahaha. Everyone in Ba-barrier's so tough an' dependable~ ♪

Jin: Haha. Who'd have thought you'd get along so well, Akiyan?

You’re definitely having fun being an idol, aren’tcha? Unlike me, you retired with regrets.

Akiomi: On the contrary, I have left my regrets behind.

We had accomplished our role with the success of Rainbow Stage, so we could’ve dispersed right then and there…

But that performance garnered us a good reputation, with many fans requesting that we continue…

And I thought we might come in handy someday, so I continued on with Ba-barrier.

Compared to the other Mentors out there, I am a level below them in terms of achievements, so I did have my reservations. But well, I’ve always been the shameless sort, anyway.

Jin: Really? You’re more competitive than shameless, in my opinion… The more people look down on you, the more you fight back to prove 'em wrong.

I’ve always admired that side of you since long ago.

Akiomi: Ahaha… Oh, how I wish you'd told me that much sooner.

Jin. We are giving our all just to hold our current position; I do not believe we’ll have the leisure to protect you.

However, you are the main character of Project-Saga, so by all means, find a way out of this predicament with your own two hands.

Lilith may prove to be a much stronger opponent than we thought, but if it's you, then surely you'll be the one to win — I’ll say this even without anything to back it up, just as I did in the past.

Jin: Thanks. I think having you there to always tell me that… was what helped me to hold out much longer than I would've on my own.

[ ☆ ]

✦✦✦✦✦

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[mortallyandrogynoussheep]

1/100 days of getting my life back together

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

So I decided to try to do a thing for the first time ever since forever - try to start having a blog(?) again, because, well, the brain rot is real. I've deleted twitter for now to give my brain some rest, because a lot of things were stressing me out.

My life has been a real mess the last few months and I really need to get my shit back together. This semester was the biggest flop so far (which is not to say that much - it's only a second one, but still) and I'm really upset about it.

I've come off one of my meds, that were making me insanely sleepy whenever I tried to focus (still have no idea whether that was a real thing or no, but they either way were not doing anything for me), got back on antidepressants, that are a-okay to me, at least side effects wise, and I was hoping that NOW I will be so much better at school. It got so much worse.

Not my room, but the vibes sum everything up quite perfectly. Everything feels insanely hard to do. I feel like a failure. I'm stressed and lost, but we persevere to the best of our abilities.

Anyway, I am writing this post one day after the 3rd of July, because I figured I should start somewhere, and despite wanting to have the first entry be as perfect as I want to become later, I figured that I have already tried that approach earlier, and it always falls off. Maybe it's better to start bad, slowly trying to build up all the habits and changes.

After all it is 100 days of trying to get my life together, not 100 days of describing my life being together.

Anyway, on 3rd of July I wanted to do some document related work and do some job applications, but because of fucking up my sleep schedule days prior to finish an assignment (which I got 100% for, insanely), I could not resist falling asleep in the day and then waking up late in the evening. That then scaled to 4th of July night, when I could not fall asleep again until 4 am, and the cycle repeated again.

So, yeah. T'was a flop. I didn't do anything good or productive for studying. The only thing I managed to accomplish was tidying up the place a little, but not the dishes. Luckily, my boyfriend helped me with that. It feels so much better to be able to work as a team on tasks that feel this big and unbearable.

2/100 days of getting my life back together

Thursday, July 4, 2024

It is currently 13:44 as I am writing this. Woke up (or more so, thankfully, got woken up by my boyfriend) by about 12:30. Still feel very poopy, but in today's plans are to do some studying for the first out of my two exams, and maybe a little bit for the second one.

DB 2

DB 3

SE2

dishes

DB 4

Probably will keep editing this post for any relevant updates that are not shitposts.

15:08 - 16:02 finished the db2 and 3 bits, 3rd one was way shorter than I expected. it turned out that I already had a set of flashcards on quizzlet there on it, so that was a win. originally was planning to study for one hour, but then finished 6 mins earlier, because my brain was fried and finished the dishes on my break. now back to studying

16:17 - 18:01 finished working on the SE2, but the lecture was kinda short and won't be that important at the exam, so I can't say I studied it properly. i will put more thought into it later (maybe), but not for now, since my ass is BURNING from the heat of upcoming deadline for the exams and there are more complex things i need to learn. started working on DB 4, which was an addition on initially planned to-do list. a little more than 1.5 hours of trying to understand the lecture made my brain feel GONE. i started to feel very irritated at the end, so im gonna be taking a break.

18:36 - 19:52 some minecraft break for mindlessly and quietly doing some things around our base. cleaned up the ground for where i want to build our house, transferred some stuff and organized it in a new chests system. the project will take A LOT of time so yuh. did i spend too much time on it? yes. will i do it again? also yes, probably. then we ate some dinner and now im comming back to some studying and note taking.

21:09 - 22:22

did some more note taking on DB4, not finished with it yet, but I think I'll call it a day for today. I'll probably play some more Minecraft before sleep and reread my notes and flashcards too. overall I feel still kind of unsatisfied with the day and its' results, I think mostly because of this is 1.5 hour game break, but it is what it is for now. overall I guess I did do some stuff done today, so it's still a win, right?

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/16

What am I feeling today?

I feel that I’m getting better health wise, I’m not that congested anymore and I can speak again so that’s great! I’ve been excused from the past three days of work and school and there are some things that I won’t have to make up which I’m really grateful for! Although, it could just be because I was sick and just away and isolated from everyone for a bit but I’m just feeling kinda numb. I’ve spent way too many hours in bed, on my phone, watching tv, etc and I just feel awful about it because I wasn’t being productive. Even though I know everyone is telling me to rest, I just can’t, like I can’t allow myself to fully rest.

Bible Plan: Spiritual Wilderness

Israel left Egypt, which was their place of deliverance, but the promised land they were heading for was their place of dominion. In between Egypt and the promised land was a dry desert. The period between deliverance and dominion is usually marked by a miserable wilderness.

Elijah went through a wilderness as well as the apostle Paul (1 Kings 19:1-9; Galatians 1:17-18). Even our Lord Jesus “was led into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil” (Matthew 4:1) after being filled with the Holy Spirit.

The wilderness experience is a tough time in which we endure spiritual afflictions. Often, it’s a time when temptation intensifies; there might be spiritual attacks on our soul. This is a time that may also involve a spiritual drought when we feel disconnected from God.

A spiritual wilderness is not a sign that we are in sin although sometimes it feels like that. Instead of looking for God, we tend to look for some sin that can be blamed for our current experience. If you are going through a spiritual wilderness right now, remember you are not alone. The Holy Spirit is with you right now.

God is with you in the wilderness even when you don’t feel Him.

I understand that this is something that is common and it’s talked about. We go from baptism and then it’s like we’re thrown into the desert and we’re tested and it’s a hard path to walk. I don’t feel like this all the time, there are some times when I’m all fired up and ready to go! But then I have my periods of drought, where I feel absolutely numb, and I don’t want to go on in life because I’ve just gotten so tired and beat down.

I want to be able to strike a balance here. I understand that God is with me during both of these times and the desert can be necessary! It’s just hard, and I think I lack a strong will sometimes. But I can also think I’ve persevered thus far and I’m still here, what’s stopping from going further?

Psalms 24:1-6 NIV

“The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters. Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god. They will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God their Savior. Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, God of Jacob.”

The instruction of those who may stand in the holy place before God are those who are of pure heart, clean hands, and that do not have idols. From this section, what I’ve been struggling with is idolatry and I don’t want that to be true. I can be quite selfish and put myself first. I can also get obsessed and allow it to consume me, like an addiction really, I just need to get my next fix and constantly craving whatever more I can get. That’s a problem, that’s something I want to change, because I know, in the end, it doesn’t truly leave me satisfied, nothing does or will except for God.

Matthew 28:18-20 NIV

“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.””

The Great Commission!! This is something I’ve had memorized for years yet I hadn’t began putting it into practice til a few months ago. I mean, this is literally some of Jesus last words to us and a command that he has given all of us! I mean come on! How much more important can this be?? I need to get better with this though, I can have a hard time sharing my faith and catching up with people that I have shared with before. I should check up and not give up just because it didn’t work out the first time.

Isaiah 43:1-4 NIV

“But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.”

We’re His🥹 this just hits hard for me, like God is with us, we’re precious to Him, He loves us🥹 like this is just something that I’ve always had a hard time wrapping my head around but He’s like literally our Father and we should treat Him as such. I think about how much I love my dad and how I try to spend time with him even when it’s inconvenient for me and I need to give God and even higher treatment than that! I mean it’s just!!! He just!!! He loves us!!!🥹🥹

Deuteronomy 2:7 NIV

“The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything.”

I could honestly cry right now because!!! God is just so good, even when I’m struggling, even when I’m having a hard time, even when all I want to do is just give up, God is always there. I may not be aware of it all the time but He is, He’s watching over me and He’s with me and what more could I possibly ask for?

[revivingbionicle]

Reviving Bionicle in 2023 (10-year Anniversary Update)

2023 is fast approaching and that means one thing: so is episode 5.

This is it. This is the end of the series. I gotta bring my A game in writing, production value, everything.

It has to be the best thing I've ever made.

Where is everything standing though? Well, it's still an outline. It won't be soon! I am getting a new laptop for school, and I have free time in between a few classes this semester, and I'm gonna use that as "writing time". I'm expecting a first screenplay draft around February, and I'll use the rest of the year to film this ridiculous mountain of a project… if some people who volunteered to read it (and agreed to be quiet about it) give it the green light.

It’s going to be… a long script.

Right now, however, I'm stuck because I don't have that previously mentioned laptop. (my current one is having difficulty even writing this into the Tumblr post editor). I enjoy writing in a nice environment, like a calm coffee shop or something. I’m really excited to write this thing. Last time I wrote everything at work and that was not optimal. This time I’m going to do it right.

I'm sure there will be a trailer at some point. I don't know when, though. Right now I will say this- if everything goes to plan, 2023 is definitely the release year. 2022 wasn't easy and I was consistently sabotaged youtube-wise all year. I will totally give you a all a heads up if the 2023 release changes.

It’s coming! It really is! I’m going for the gold on this one. I hope I’ve shown that I can prove myself, despite the long wait. I’m gonna prove myself again.

Remember: when we fall we go further.

[boblittlepage-blog]

I'm Confused About Something...

A brief update for the uninitiated, which probably means everyone. Sometime back, I attempted to strike up a friendship with noted online semicelebritytype Indigo White, who you may know from her many productions of video entertainment not intended for younger viewers (do the math). Yes, I first came across her the same way most guys do (let's just say my prostate has never been healthier), but then I started watching her YouTube videos, and was very impressed with her intelligence, sense of humor, and levelheadedness. I'm very drawn to intelligence, and decided this is someone I'd actually like to know. And through chats during live streams and interactions on Twitter and Fansly, things seemed to be proceeding nicely. I'd like to think that I made it clear that I wasn't just another dweeb who'd parasocially bonded to some e-girl, that this was genuine affection for her as a person. Seeing that in writing makes it sound weird, but so be it, let's move on.

Some time ago, Indigo came out as trans, and was now a boy. Despite the change in personal pronouns to he/him, and now sporting shorter, Beatle-ish hair, nothing much was going to change content-wise, no plans for surgery or hormones (which begs the question of just how trans was Indy actually, but we'll not deal with that here, or anywhere else for now, it's largely irrelevant).

Okay, fine, I'll play along, so long Indy didn't feel the need to undergo anything permanent, (again, usually an indicator that something else is going on, not gender dysphoria), so no harm no foul.

In the meantime, I've gotten to know several detransitioners online, and heard their horror stories about how they'd been suckered into the whole gender ideology thing (which, by the way, is the creation of a very sick man, John Money, a pedophile who should be listed right alongside Joseph Mengele for the work he did directly with a couple of twin boys, both ending in suicide, but also for his sham "work" being baked into the psychiatric and medical industries before the true horror of his acts were finally made public. The result is that actual gender dysphoria, the kind where major gender reassignment surgery is the only workable treatment, has largely been pushed aside for people who are suffering from other, less serious issues, generally from some childhood trauma, like puberty in general, and turning garden variety identity crises into reasons for these sufferers, largely teenagers, who we must remember are still highly impressionable are generally stupid, to permanently wreck their biochemistry and mutilate their bodies).

So, during one live stream, I get wind of Indy trying to work up the courage to get what is euphemistically referred to as "top surgery", i.e., a double mastectomy, for no other reason than a long time hatred of them. Turns out Indy got those DD tiddies pretty much full force, virtually overnight, and besides being literally painful, anybody who's been to school between the ages of 9 to 15 can fill in the blanks of what the reaction of the other kids was. Also keep in mind that the amygdala, the lizard part of the brain that handles trauma and triggers the ol' fight-or-flight response, doesn't differentiate between actually life threatening situations and a snide comment from a 4th grade teacher at the wrong time, trauma is trauma, and can have life altering effects, especially in kids. We're generally not even aware of this happening until pointed out to us. Digging through Indy's Tumblr, apparently there's some additional trauma back there, that is triggering enough that I'm not going to even try and ask about it, but we're still talking a response to trauma. One day, it'll have to be dealt with, not just painted over with a big ol' "Congrats! You're Trans!" label. That's not therapy, that checking a box so somebody can make a boat payment. Since lives are at stake with this nonsense, I get very pissed off.

Anyway.

Back to the case at hand. I, hoping to spare Indy the kind of life wrecking pain I've seen others going through, began pushing for the alternative of breast reduction. Less invasive, faster recovery, and coming to the conclusion that, yes, Indy's tits WERE too big (5'4", 110 lbs, shouldn't be any bigger than a B, maybe closer to an A).

Enter the Affirmation Brigade, standing by and cheering Indy forward to go forth and be sliced up like a Sunday roast, to advance the cause of TRANS RIGHTS! Which I see as an attempt to validate their own sorry existences at the expense of someone else's health and well being. Well, during an engagement with one of these ghouls, things got rather heated, and more than a little ugly. I don't particularly regret anything I said, I would've preferred it didn't have to be in the form of calling out the other person as a butcher. Not because it was inaccurate (it wasn't), but because it was somewhat undignified.

Cue another set of angry DMs with Indy, demanding that I knock it off or get banned. I'd said everything I felt needed saying, so feeling no need to press the issue any further, certainly not publicly, I agreed. And things got more or less back to normal.

However, I reached out to a noted doctor who deals with the whole trans issue, and, with a couple of links, one to Indy's Twitter profile, the second to the coming-out video on YouTube, and asked for a professional opinion. Mainly, I wanted some guidance on whether I was doing the right thing by trying to be the lone voice against the affirmation chorus, trying to make the point that major invasive surgery over a personality issue is probably a very, very bad idea. Had I pushed too far, or should I stand my ground? One of the recurring themes I'd been hearing from detransitioners was that nobody ever challenged them, made them stop and think it out, WHY did they think they were trans? Could it be something else? Let's figure this out BEFORE we start lopping off perfectly healthy body parts, and see if we can find a less bloody and traumatizing solution. We live in a world where unless you blindly affirm the choice, you're a (fill in the blank). Well, sorry, but if the Emporer is walking down Broadway bloody starkers, I'm gonna say something.

Fast forward to a couple days later, this has gotten back to Indy, and the response in DM was thermonuclear. What right did I have to do this, I'm insane, etc., etc., and that was it, I'd been given too many chances already, I was banned, with the final shot being, and I quote, "Unblocking you to say one final thing. If I didn’t have the support i have and live where i do, what you did could have gotten me killed. Think about that. Fuck you."

Okay, back that up a little.

I posted a link to a PUBLIC Twitter page, with a link to a PUBLIC YouTube video (which Indy posted herself/himself TWICE, and has pinned to various other social media sites), disclosed no information, and only asked for "a professional opinion." (For the record, the only response I got back from the doctor was "Nope.") How in this, or any other reality could that endanger anybody? Did I overstep? Okay, I'll grant that. Wasn't the first time, pretty sure it won't be the last. But possibly getting Indy killed? Sorry, but I need to hear the twisted logic that comes to that conclusion, because I ain't seeing it, and I took Logic in college, I know a thing or two about false premises and the strange places they lead.

I would like to rebuild this relationship, if possible, but I'm not holding my breath. Clearly what I did incensed Indy, and it's not likely it'll be easy to walk that back. I would still like to have that explanation, though. If you're gonna throw down something like my being responsible for possible manslaughter, I think I'm at least owed that much.

Again, Indy (if you've read this far), my DMs are open, and I did give you my phone number, provided you haven't deleted the DM (doesn't seem like it, because I've still got 'em on my end). I'm ready for peace when you are.

[supercyberlife]

Things I’ve Done Since Starting College

Hello fellow dolls! Long time no see. So much has happened in the last couple of months which is why I'm pretty inconsistent with posting. So sorry! But anyways, I've recently Started College. It's super exciting and fun finally being able to do what I want and act like an actual adult so I thought I'd make a short post about all the things I've started doing as a first year college student.

Saving money/ Not spending it random stuff

Since I can no longer count on my mother as my primary source of income I’ve started saving a lot more of my money. I try not to use my money on silly things i won't use. I also try not to buy food because I have a pretty good meal plan and dining dollars so it would kind of be a waste. This isn't saying don't spend money but more so spend money minimally.

Stuck with a good study schedule

College is pretty different work wise in terms of how much agency you have. Your professors aren’t going to be on your back like past teachers telling you to do your work. I highly suggest getting a planner and working around the times that work best for you (I might make a study guide in the future). Also studying in a place that makes you feel productive. I usually study in the library or one of the main halls of my school since it makes me wants to be productive and the fact that there are other people around being productive too helps with my motivation.

Started eating a more balanced diet

Now since i don’t really have to worry about buying food and eating in general i’ve been eating more balanced meals. I start off with a little breakfast, eat a salad for lunch, and have a nice fulfilling dinner in the dining hall. I’ll also eat a few snacks in between but all together I’ve started having better eating habits.

Started socializing

This one has really been something I’m proud of. I’ve started spending more time out and about instead of in my room or dorm. I hang around campus or walk into town (I go to a small college in a small town), Or even just hanging in the common room with friends. Personally I’ve made a ton of new friends I hang out with all time, whether that be walking to class, meeting for lunch, or going out to parties together. College is a great place to be more outgoing and make new friends. A good way to start is to host a movie night or something. In my dorm we have a common room with a tv and every night we set up a movie night and invite friends over (sometimes they bring their other friends) and we end up having a blast, so don’t be afraid to be the one to make the first move in making new friends.

Embraced changes/ the unknown

I know starting your adult life in a new place by yourself is horrifying but once you get past the fear there are so many new experiences for you out there! Just don’t be afraid and truly believe in yourself.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT FOR HELP

I was brought up in a family where I rarely asked for help and that made my life so much harder than it needed to be. Before starting school my family made it clear that if I needed help I should just ask and I did. I started asking family, friends, and school staff for help if I needed it because that's what they’re there for, to support you. Please take advantage of all the resources and help that is definitely gonna come your way.

I hope this post helps with an anxiety anyone else has had or is having about college. Take care of yourselves. Love you all!!!

[ros3ybabe]

Life Update After a Few Days: October 18th, 2023 🎀

I’ve been a little busy with school, work, resting, and starting my workout routine back up, so here’s a little update!

I’m getting a tattoo soon! I know the aesthetic of my blog is pink and girly and coquette and I love everything that comes with the aesthetic and the lifestyle but I have an affinity for gothic style/spooky tattoos, so I’m getting a decent sized spider tattoo on my right thigh and I’m super excited! This is the first big ish sized tattoo besides the two small ones I have, and it’s the first tattoo appointment I’ve ever made so I’m really excited. A little anxious, especially for the shading portion of it, but I’m looking forward to how good it’s going to look when it’s finished and how much more confident it’s going to make me!

I’ve started working out at the gym again! My current schedule is three days of weightlifting (pull day, leg day, push day), and two days of just cardio. It feels so nice both mentally and physically to be taking care of myself like this again. I even bought some new workout shorts and gym clothes and I’m feeling better than ever! I’m focusing on improving my mental health right now and working out is doing wonders for me!

I’m working so much right now, but it’s worth it because I need the money for rent, tattoos, gym stuff, groceries, and whatever other necessities and wants pop up. I’m pulling doubles most Saturdays and it’s a little tiresome and energy draining but I’m managing pretty well. I won’t pull doubles every Saturday tho because that drives me straight into burnout and I’m trying to avoid that.

I hit 31 days on Duolingo and I’m at 28 days on Busuu, super proud of myself for keeping up with those two goals for now! I’m still working through the first two lessons of Genki and I’m still using the Kanji app but my studying has been a little bit more spread out because of my busy schedule. I’m trying to learn how to better balance multiple things without hyperfixating on just one and forgetting about everything else. I’ve noticed I tend to do that and that’s not the most productive thing for me.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I spent a lot of money on stuff from Amazon (and Ulta) and most of it is here already besides the last couple Amazon items coming in today! I love the workout clothes I bought and the fitness/health tracker planner I bought is really interesting. I also got my language tracking bullet journal stuff in the mail so I am super looking forward to starting that up soon. Again, I noticed I tend to hyperfixate on one thing at a time but right now I’m trying to balance all my interests and things I need to do. My current “balance breakup” is: fitness/nutrition, Japanese language study, school/classes and academic success, work/making money, self care (sleep, skincare, reading, journaling, etc), boyfriend time, appointments, and chores/cleaning/housework. Sounds like a lot but there’s 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. Not everything has to be done in one day and as long as I manage my time efficiently, then I’ll be successful. I also try to take into account my energy levels, daily tasks, possible “curveballs”, and my current physical and mental/emotional well being. Flexibility is a must in my life but I do like having routines and things to stick to, plan and schedule wise.

I’ve been working on some posts ideas for this blog so it’s not just daily updates and stuff, but actual tips, advice, and my current routines and schedules too, to maybe help motivate and inspire you guys! I have some things in mind currently, so hopefully I can find the time to type them up and post them!

Thank you guys for 850+ followers! I never thought my blog could grow like this and I’m super happy it has! This community has given me such a safe and comforting place where I can just be myself without worry. I appreciate all of you so much!! I hope all of you have amazing days, amazing sleep, amazing skin, amazing grades, and that life is going great for all of you!

that’s pretty much all I have to update you on for now. I will be posting a Daily Check In tonight about how today went as well, to help me get back on track with posting!

til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

[thedawningofthehour]

What would happen if Draxum and Galois and Cassandra plan actually succeeded? All of most of humanity is mutated , what would happen world wide and family wise? Would there be a war between Yokai and Mutants or would there be a civil war or an uneasy truce? What would happen to Hamatos?

I mean, their plan is kind of doomed to fail, since Draxum is missing a few key details, but let's just say magic and Draxum's plan succeeded without having to make too many compromises.

For one, oh my god population issues. I could write a whole fucking novel on the effect drastically reducing the number of people on the planet will have. To be fair they do have plans to handle that-Galois's work is actually much less weapons of mass destruction and more about sustainable food production, communications, and breaking down all the bullshit of the old world and repurposing it for rebuilding in an environmentally-friendly, civilian-conscious way. (walkable cities, yo) Draxum also doesn't plan to take over the entire planet at once, he does plan to have functional and surplus-producing colonies before expanding. Like, he'll take over New York and have that well on its way to the green city paradise he's envisioning before moving onto Jersey, so those people don't just starve while they're restructuring. But likely people would end up migrating en masse to the cities Draxum prioritizes for rebuilding and large swathes of land would end up reclaimed by nature, especially after Galois swoops in and reclaims everything man-made for its resources. So a lot of suburbs, smaller cities, and Vegas will all die off.

Also, Draxum plans to prioritize children for mutation, which...granted, won't be an eternal problem, but it will definitely be a wrinkle in the early days. His 'side' will have a lot of functionally useless mouths to feed and protect, and Draxum is going to need a lot of caretakers and educators for them. Who will also only be needed for a decade or two, then they'll be out of a job. If anyone's played city builders before, you'll know what I'm talking about with having to cater to baby booms and then having a bunch of empty schools and childcare facilities as the population ages. Granted, yes, then he'll have a large population of educated mutant young adults who are very loyal to his regime, so it will be worth it if he pulls it off, but it's not going to be a popular decision in the early days.

Also eventually these mutants are going to get old and die-they'll live much longer than humans, but they won't be immortal. And most first-gen mutants are left sterile, so...they aren't going to be making enough babies to replace themselves. So that's gonna be another population collapse right there. Unless they attack it with a really aggressive breeding program and encourage the few fertile mutants to pop out kids like nobody's business. (oh god, I can just imagine all the 'it's your civic duty to fuck!' propaganda)

(I've also thought that maybe Draxum allows some humans to live unmutated but like...banishes them to Australia)

As for Draxum's socialist empire-honestly, I think it would actually work out in the short term. His and Galois's work, magic, the unused land and more sustainable infrastructure-I mean, I'll give him credit, he does have plans for how he's going to meet his people's basic needs. And he doesn't plan on going full socialism, he knows he doesn't really understand government or economy as much as he knows science, so aside from putting some measures in place to depower people like Big Mama and the Council he'll probably let people decide for themselves what they want and let shit develop organically. He wants to provide everyone with food, water, and shelter, and ensure they have access to free healthcare and education. In his mind, he's providing the building blocks for a utopian society that he knows he won't live to see the height of. (I still don't know why I chose to make Draxum a socialist, but like...I feel like it really fits)

There would be an eventual breakdown though. The Yokai have little social division and in-fighting because...well, one, they're an amalgam of different social structures who had to break themselves down to assimilate into the Hidden City, so most of their social groups have only really existed in their current form for a few generations, but also because the Yokai feel united by one thing-the threat of the humans.

So if the humans are all dead or Australian, what do they have left? Oh, at first they'll be busy with the rebuilding, the memories of the war and its dead still fresh in their minds, but that'll fade. Some social classes will gain power over others-not necessarily the ones that had power in the old world, but they certainly would have had a head start. But the new world will be built, people will settle in and get bored, and the generation that remembers the bloodshed will eventually die off.

Combine that with the mutant population collapse. Before, while the Yokai definitely felt superior to the mutants, there would be potentially billions of them and only a few million Yokai, at most. As the mutants die off-sure, they would still outnumber the Yokai, but to a far less degree, and the Yokai would have more experience with magic, more wealth and power to build off of, more family bonds. Yadda yadda. There would definitely be some sort of division, with first-gen mutants and everyone descended from Draxum mutants being considered a lower class than 'pure' Yokai. This could result in enslaving, another round of ethnic cleansing, and around and around we go on the war machine. This wouldn't happen for a while though, and considering Draxum is already pretty old he probably wouldn't live to see it. He'd die thinking he succeeded in creating his perfect egalitarian society.

As for the fam, Draxum is really expecting them not to survive the war. He knows they won't side with him and believes that the humans will never accept them on theirs, so they'll end up dead one way or another. He won't kill them-he considers that to be Donatello's final request, and thinks he owes it to him to honor it. But ultimately he can't save them if they don't want to be saved. (also he does feel something for his creations, and they were his very first sapient mutants-plus he's probably still half in love with Lou)

If they did somehow manage to survive...let's see, what can I answer without giving future plot details away...

Ultimately, I think he'd have to send them away. Maybe not to Australia, but definitely away from New York, or wherever he plans on making the capital of his new empire. (probably New York) He'd relocate them halfway across the world and do some political bullshit to keep their voices suppressed, both so people don't find out what he did and so Galois doesn't pay attention to them.

He's not too terribly concerned about this though. His main goal is for Galois to live in a better world, one that respects him and sees him for what he is. As long as there's that, he'll still consider what he did a success no matter what else happens.

[yellow-gardenia-48]

Toddy's redesign!

(I'm gonna start making these redesigns and rewrites for the characters of fnafhs for an AU that I'm making where the characters are a little more closer looking to their fnaf counterparts and act more like them)

Toddy in my AU:

*Is a permanent part of the toys

*is not interested romantically with Bon, but they are still childhood friends

*She likes music but she's bad at playing instruments

*Like og Toy Freddy, she's a gamer

*personality wise: Toddy is a very strong mined character, she hates being told that's she's wrong and it's actually very creative, so when it comes to criticize something she'll be ruthless, not because she's mean but because she wants things to go to their full potential.However when she's with people she knows it can make her very insecure to be told off, she's rather in the lonely part of social relationships since most people has called her mean most of her life, so don't expect much of her talking after a fight. (Hates being alone). She's still rather foolish when it comes to things like school work but it's not that she can learn it, she just get bored easily so she prefers to do it with someone else (expect a studying sleepover as her plan)

*Storyline wise: Toddy applies in FHS highschool after she got into a fight in her old school, so her father send her to the same school as Bon so he could "teach her some manners" since he would always be more calm that her. Toddy is excited but what she didn't expected was that Bon would make more friends that her after a year without seeing eachother, making her kinda get defensive with them, Bon tries to join her to their band since they where getting scared that The Animatronics could win the music festival of this year so they needed something new, but she fails miserably to play an instruments She's still rather happy even tho she missed everything since her dream as a kid always was either being a model or a pop star, but then the canon argument of the toys happens with her not plugin the earphones so naturally she's mad at them. Even since that in every rehearsal that they have she criticize everything of their abilities, calling them underwhelming and boring, she's not dumped of the team but at some point Bon calls her off and tells her that's she's being too much with them and Toddy explotes calling him a bad friend and telling him everything she heard, then leaves before he can tell her anything. She decides that she doesn't wanna keep getting called dumb or useless by anyone anymore and plans revenge, but since she can play instruments she decides to use one of the songs that she heard of them and starts to change things on the computer. She starts to hangout with other people but one day Bon apologizes for what he did, but Toddy wasn't still mad, since no other member of the band was here to apologize, not until Bon gives her a box, signed by everybody in the band that explains why they sorry that contains the "Toys sleeves" for Toddy to become an official member. She's touched by this and in return she lets Bon hear the remixed song, this finally lets her participate in the production of the music and she's finally happy to be chasing her dream with friends this time around

*Toddy and Chica were in the same school last year, expect a rivalry with an apology later

*Since I like to mess with Eddo's lore yo lucharé por mis sueños in my AU is a toddy song

*Toddy's instrument is computer synthesizer, making the Toys music to go from regular pop to electro pop

*Still no romantic partner decided, since I don't know if nightmare Bonnie would fit her now

And that's how Toddy is changed in my redesign! I hope you like her and expect more of these to come