#n hes like. usually top 3 in my message history or whatever you call it. and i was like god how surreal is it

[bangcakes]

.

[jiilys]

would u help me out for a second. im in the mood to write for the first time, and i think your style is beautiful. sitting down n actually trying though, im stuck as fuck! i’m realizing that in your dialogue/scenes you’ve got a lot of Little Things. little tiny elements that are subtle & just enough. how are you deciding that lily is building a house of cards at the moment or sirius is sitting in a tree or whatever during a given scene? how do you come up with those ideas for dialogue that are so silly & real & sneakily tender? do you know where it’s going when you begin? any advice for just… starting something?

ps: i appreciate you. you make it look easy & that’s very very cool

This is a lovely question!! Sorry it took me so long to get to it, I didn’t want to get it wrong. Also I’ve included some examples to try and explain what I mean in practise, but it also comes off rather like plugging. tragically this is unavoidable. Anyway, all that being said I have no idea how to advise you about dialogue and coming up with it, I think just listening to people talk helps. Don’t forget contractions, and when in doubt always trust the reader to keep up, real people don’t say perfect or even grammatically correct sentences a lot of the time. We also cut each other off all the time, especially when we’re trying to be funny. Like, here’s an example from warm front:

“He’s not even two. He probably would have thought it was, like, having a lie down or something.”

Harry was laughing now, “A lie down?”

“Yeah, a spontaneous, truck-induced–“

“–Permanent–“ “

–Permanent, lie-down. I’m almost jealous now actually.”

Another thing, but people say um and like or can't speak or cut themselves off, especially when they’re nervous. James when Lily says she loves him for the first time: ‘“Wow,” He breathed, “I’m– wow.” He put both hands on her cheeks and kissed her crazy, abruptly, dumbly. Her head spun.’ He can’t even speak! Dumb boy.

I think natural dialogue sometimes just requires you to read it aloud, which is very embarrassing but ultimately quite useful in trying to figure out whether something sounds normal or not. Use casual words, and try not to go dictionary hunting: if you cant think of the word chances are your character can’t either

In terms of concepts I have no idea, but I do have a few tips. I write all my short one-shots in one document (its called ‘just bad’ lmao) so its easy to start something, write a few lines, and then if it doesnt work just start a new concept, but still have all the old stuff handy. if you feel like you’ve written yourself into a corner its probably because you took a wrong turn earlier, so its just a matter of going back up and figuring out where you turned onto the dead end, or where a line could be funnier and/or sadder and/or more meaningful. Sometimes the bare bones of a decent line is there but you have to work it a little.

In this harry/ginny thing where harry is apologising for all the attention and ginny brushes him off she says:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

The response went through a few drafts, all variations on the same thing:

(1) “You’re funnier.” [too short, doesn’t make sense, and not really that funny. unholy trinity]

(2) “You make it funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, “It’s not– you make it like that.” [this could work! I have no idea why I cut this, I think I forgot abt it lmao]

(3) “You’re the funniest person I know, Harry said, sincerely, and Ginny felt her heartbeat all through her, “You make it funny.” [jumping from ‘its more funny than annoying’ to getting this sincere out of nowhere is a little much, even for harry who is famously whipped]

I ended up going with this:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

“You’re funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, flustered, “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”

It follows the flow of the conversation and I think the way he says it, ‘you’re funny’ like its obvious, and then being like oh fuck and over-explaining it stumbling a little “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”. You know when you like someone and you say something that gives you away before you can stop yourself? I wanted it to sound like that. Just gotta keep in mind how people behave, we are so stupid a lot of the time, we give ourselves away.

The thing about short stuff i find is implying a lot of history without actually describing a lot of it. I normally do this by having memories come up as almost shards, one second of feeling. You know when you’re in a conversation with someone and they mention someone or a past event, and it rises to the top of your brain, but only for a second? i find sometimes when you’re reading stuff people will try and replay entire memories or events mid-conversation, which is not something you do when you think. You don’t need to replay it beat by beat, you were there! This sounds vague as hell so I’ll try and show you what I mean:

From good crimes: “Petunia is engaged.” Lily’s voice, raw and wrong, “To Vernon. Eliza Hunt told me at the supermarket.” Sudden flashes of Petunia, the only time he’d ever met her, sat in the back of Lily’s twenty-first, pinched and whispering. “Whose Eliza Hunt?” This seems as good a thing to say as any.

pretty on the nose (the phrase ‘sudden flashes’ is pretty so i'll allow it from past me). But see how you don’t need to know how Petunia didnt talk to anyone, how she left early, how she was the odd one out: you don’t need to read all that, you already know because she was sat in the back and because pinched is such a mean verb, spiteful and sharp, you can already imagine how the evening went without me saying so

From my proposal take, after Sirius finds out they’re engaged: Sirius’ grip on his shoulder tightened for one second, still grinning, and James knew what he meant. “I know.” He said, because only Sirius had been there for all of it, when they were fifteen, drunk on Firewhiskey for the first time and James had said I think I’ve fucked it, I think I’ve fucked it but I like her for real.

you don’t need a description of the whole night, what party they were at, who they were with, what they were talking about: the important bit is that Sirius was the first person he told, and that they’re both remembering that at the same moment because they’re soulmates lmao. You know when something big happens for a friend and you feel so full of pride & love that you feel like you’ll burst into confetti?? this needed to feel like that, and you only need a flash for it

I feel like I’ve sort of strayed off from what you asked me, which is really advice on how to start something. I normally start with a line, usually of dialogue, and then try and build from there because dialogue is my thing. You might have a different thing! Some people write from concepts or locations, or an image. i might start with one or a few lines of dialogue, write them down, and then try to build from there. For example for the proposal thing I started from james just saying “Marry me”, which I find more romantic than ‘will you marry me’, purely because it sounds like he simply couldn’t stop himself from saying it, like it rushed out. Another example, this thing started from just “don’t be mad at me” “okay” James agreed instantly, because he is such a sucker for her.

When I write I don’t normally know where I’m going! I normally set out to write something I think is vaguely funny and evokes An Emotion, and then I just play around with stuff until I get there. when I write certain stuff and I have scenes in mind, stuff I want to happen, but I find that if I try to plot it to tightly its not exciting to work on, because sometimes you write a good line by accident, that you hadn’t thought of when you sat down, and you surprise yourself. That is a really nice feeling! i want to maximise that feeling.

'What I mostly try to remember is that writing something down, anything down, is useful. Sometimes you write for a whole night and dont get anything useable, but its like clearing pipes. Sometimes you have to flush through shit to get to the good bits. All the rough stuff, the things you don’t like or didn’t work, you wrote to get you to the stuff that did work. All of the bad shit got you here! It wasn’t a waste, you were working to find the good thing

If I had any tips its just the usual stuff, read! It is annoying how much that helps. Also, and I know this may make you shudder, but reading poetry is useful just because in no other literary or media form is language so important. In comics you have pictures, in novels you have plot and character, in film you all that and cinematography, but in poetry you live and die by how good the words are. If you want recs here’s my poem roundup tag, that I do sometimes, or if you want something just now read this by Anne Carson, which uses words like ‘smashing’, ‘boatwash’, and ‘green’ in the best way possible. Also it has these lines: “Recently having learned to recognize the type of tree called sycamore, / I see them in any forest— / the ones that look harrowed, / in shreds, but / go also / straight up into life,”

I mean, think of a sharper image than that?? It’s not possible. Just try remember to stay true to your characters and that in real life, the little stuff is the big stuff. Little things the people around you do normally show they care more than big speeches, and if you want to show love that’s how to make it feel lived in. You want to build a world! the little stuff is usually the world. Take some from your own or dream the ones you wish you had.

This truly was a very kind message and I’m so grateful you like my stuff, I hope any of this was even half-useful, although now reading it back it is borderline nonsensical. I’m going to bed now, good luck with the writing, and don’t forget to send it to me!!

caro xoxo

[halpertstuna]

Could you do 8 and 10 on the prompt list with JJ?

A/N: i’m so sorry it took me so long to answer, i’ve been pretty occupied lately and so i didn’t really have time to write and when i did it was for ‘someone to stay’, anyway, here it is i hope you’ll like it🥺

and PLEASE don’t hesitate to send me requests, questions, messages whatever you want. i would love to make friends and mutuals on this platform plus i love feedback and would really like to hear your opinions(:

also, this turned out way longer than i intended it to be, it was supposed to be a blurb but i guess i’m just gonna turn it into a whole ass imagine cause why not

-> prompt list <-

word count: 1,899 (oops... guess i got a bit carried away)

prompts: “i’m not jealous!”, “you’re hot when you’re mad”

pairing: jj x kook!reader

warnings: a pretty heated make out sesh, jealousy?, platonic Kie, Pope and John B. oh and typos probably.

btw, i was kinda in a rush to post this so please forgive me if it’s not that good, i’m too lazy to edit this again (and this is the first time i wrote something that’s kinda smutty? i mean this isn’t really smut but you get my point. don’t know how i feel about it), anyways, if you’ve made it this far in my insanely long intro congrats! enjoy <3

-> masterlist <-

(gif credit: @anakin-skywalker )

—

It’s been almost two years since you started attending the kook academy, almost two years since you became one of the pogues.

On your first day there you met a brown haired hippie chick named Kiara. The two of you had chemistry together and were paired by your teacher to be lab partners.

On your first encounter you didn’t really talk, and on the following couple of lessons it developed to only small talk and warm smiles if you saw each other in the hallway.

Kiara didn’t like kooks, even though technically she kind of was one.

Judging by the way you dressed and the people you surrounded yourself, she didn’t think you were really the type of person she’d get along with.

But when the two of you got assigned to do a project together, you instantly proved her wrong.

You met up with her at the wreck, the two of you talked about the project then yourselves and bonded almost immediately.

You revealed that you actually hated the people you usually associated with, thinking they were all fake, stuck up snobs with their heads way too far up their asses, and the only reason you hung out with them was your parents.

You turned out to be really reckless and funny which she wasn’t expecting at all, but she liked, it kind of reminded her of someone, her best friend, JJ.

She was quick to introduce you to the rest of the pogues and they welcomed you with open arms into their group. You instantly befriended them and vice versa.

Just as Kie suspected, you got along extra well with one particular blond.

The two of you had a lot in common; you were both hot headed and impulsive which often got you into trouble. You two were pretty competitive, always challenging one another.

You being so similar was the reason you got along so well, but it was also the reason you fought a lot, neither of you ever willing to admit you’re wrong or be the first one to apologize, but you couldn’t stay away from each other for too long. The sexual tension between you two could be cut with a knife.

Hungry glances, longing touches, needy desires that were transparent on both your faces.

Everyone on the island could see it but you. You were both so terribly oblivious.

You tried treating him like the rest of the pogues, you pushed your feelings for him to the back of your mind, thinking he was just being friendly, knowing he was a flirt, and for almost two years, it worked.

But seeing him flirt with Harleen tonight was literal torture.

Harleen was your neighbour and former best friend. A tall, tan brunette you hated with all of your heart.

The two of you have known each other since birth, you were practically inseparable, but as you grew up you noticed she always wanted what was yours, and she always did whatever it took in order to gain it. Whether it was the new shoes you got for your birthday which she bought herself the following day, or the guy you told her you liked in middle school the week prior to her dating him.

With time your friendship grew toxic and you felt like she was bad for you, constantly bringing you down and never caring.

So you decided to defriend her and ever since that moment you despised each other.

You were sat on a log beside Kie at a kegger, Pope next to her as they argued about god knows what. You tuned them out, far too focused on each and every one of JJ’s actions, watching as he whispered in her ear.

He probably said something funny since she started laughing, leaning forward and grasping his bicep for balance, which made your blood boil, you felt like history was repeating itself.

The grip on your red solo cup tightened, you stared and it seemed as if lasers were about to shoot out of your eyes and burn her pretty face off, but you diverted your gaze down to your hand, jumping up slightly when you felt a cool sticky liquid on your fingers, noticing you accidentally created a hole in your cup of beer with your milky white painted nails.

“Wow, what did the poor cup ever do to you?” Pope joked, his and Kie’s attention averted to you the second they heard a pop coming from your direction.

“Huh? Oh, well it didn’t tell me how pretty I look tonight, take that as warning sign” you trailed, trying not to look suspicious, “are you sure it isn’t because JJ told that to the girl beside him instead of you” she implied winking, causing Pope to cackle with laughter.

“What was that?” You asked rhetorically trying to act intimidating, “oh nothing” she gave you an innocent look.

“Anyways... i’m gonna go get a new drink” you swiftly stood up and started walking until you made out John B. from afar who was stood by the keg.

“Refill?” He questions once he spotted you making your way towards him.

You nodded “I accidentally poked mine” you admitted lifting the ripped cup in your hand and pursing your lips as you came to a stop beside him.

As he poured you a new cup of beer with the tap head connected to the keg by a tube, you searched the crowd with your eyes and focused your attention on JJ again.

You’ve seen him flirt with a countless amount of chicks before - kooks and torouns mainly, but none of those times pissed you off os much as seeing him flirt with Harleen did.

I mean he probably didn’t even like you back, so why where you so pissed? It wasn’t different from any other time, except that this was Harleen. She was a bitch. But he’d probably catch on quickly, right?

He placed his hands on her waist and you clenched your jaw at the sight grinding your teeth, you were irritated by the whole situation.

John B. noticed, a sly smile spreading slowly across his face.

“Hey, want some peanut butter with that jelly?” You turned to face him, a dumbfounded look on your face, “what are you talking about?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re obviously jealous”, he chuckled at the bewildered look on your face and you felt your cheeks heat up. “am not!” You denied huffing.

“Tell that to the vein popping out of your forehead” he teased.

You gasped and jabbed his chest playfully with your elbow, you mumbled a “shut up” then channeled your attention back to the two.

Her hands were rested on his chest, like that wasn’t enough already to send you off the edge. But when he pecked her cheek you lost it.

Abruptly you stormed off from where you were stood, John B. shouted from behind you “where are you going?“ but you ignored him.

When you approached JJ and Harleen you clutched onto his wrist dragging him away from her towards the chateau, ignoring both her and his protests. You led him inside then turned around to face him.

“Hey! What did you do that for? It was going really good for me! This better be an emergency” he sneered.

“Are you fucking serious? Out of all the people in the party you chose to hit on Harleen?” You scoffed.

“What’s the problem with that?” JJ was clueless, he knew nothing about your and Harleen’s rivalry. You never told any of the pogues, well except for Kie but she didn’t recognise her as the one flirting with JJ.

“The problem is Harleen hates my guts and the other way around. We used to be best friends but she became toxic, trying to take everything that I had and I’m not going down that road again JJ”

Your words confounded JJ, what did you care if she flirted with him? It wasn’t like he was yours, although he really wanted to be.

Does you caring about whether they end up together or not mean you wanted to be his too?

Then he noticed what emotion your eyes held, he’d never seen it before on your face, but he immediately recognised it.

“Wait.. are you jealous?” He questioned, the corners of his lips perking up into a smirk when he noticed the furious look on your face from his revolution.

“I’m not jealous! Would everyone please stop saying that?! I’m mad ok?!” You defend.

“Ok! Ok!” He surrendered lifting his hands up in the air “but just know, you’re hot when your mad”. Your mouth slightly agape as you weren’t able to form words to deny, far too transfixed under the fact he directly called you hot.

He started walking towards you slowly, you didn’t want to cave, to admit you have fallen for his charms, so you backed up until you felt your back gently hit the wall. Chest rising and falling quicker as your breathing started getting heavier and your heart beat faster.

The second his hand landed on your waist you felt a million butterflies erupt in your stomach, he tenderly stroked the exposed skin of your v line between your low cut shorts and crop top. You felt as if the skin under his finger was being set on fire.

He brought his other hand to rest beside your head on the wall, he leaned in, inches away from your face. His breath mingled with yours, fanning your lips, it smelled of cheap beer and weed.

He slowly moved to your ear and extolled in a low voice “I mean, really hot”, his warm breath sent shivers down your spine.

He left a sloppy, open mouthed kiss on the skin under your earlobe and you could’ve sworn you were seeing stars.

When he detached his lips you bit down on yours holding in a whimper at the loss of contact as he brought his face back to yours.

His blue orbs gazed into yours, they seemed darker than usual, lustful.

He waisted no more time and captured your lips with his. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back.

You wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled on the edges of his hair deepening the kiss. As your tongues fought for dominance, he brought his other hand to your ass and squeezed it causing you to moan, he took the chance and slipped his tongue in.

you tugged on the hem of his shirt and he got the message. He separated his lips from yours and within less then a second, practically tore it of his body and discarded it on the floor. The two of you were panting at this point, completely out of air but you didn’t care. Breathless, you reattached your lips to his, desperate to taste him again.

You caressed his much bigger length with your petite hand, signalling you wanted more and he groaned into the kiss.

“Up” he demanded mumbling agains your lips. You jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist, he grabbed your thighs and without breaking the kiss led you into the spare room.

Almost two years of yearning and craving dissolved in that night at the chateau, and to think it happened because of Harleen.

As much of a bitch as she was, you did owe her that.

[henryandalex]

***Magnus and Alec are husbands. Yes, this needed to be said because CAN YOU BELIEVE? :’) But also, yes, it’s really been that long since the latest Malec fic rec. I’m sorry. It’s... yeah. Although if you also miss Malec every second of every day, reading fanfics at least helps a little. 

I tried to collect a nice mix again so I hope you will enjoy this 9th (!!!) edition of my Malec fanfic rec posts. As usual, I enjoy making them and rec’ing you fics but these posts take a looooot of time so please, please, please reblog, like and spread the word so that I see you enjoy these and these posts are helpful. It motivates to do a new one in the future if y’all are interested. Thank you

And now, have fun discovering, reading, and loving those Malec fics. And leave a kudo and comment for those authors while you’re on it. We all love appreciation and need validation. :)***

previous Malec fic recs:             1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

---

42 NORTH 71 WEST by @lecrit​ [ M | AU | 62.1k | complete ]

Alec sometimes wonders why he ever decided to pursue a career in politics. Magnus sometimes questions whether pursuing his dream of becoming an actor was worth it.

Those two facts are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

THE SHOW MUST GO ON by @unrestrainedlyexcessive [ E | AU | 21.3k | complete ]

Alec pulls up to the gold intercom positioned at the enormous front gates. Like everything owned by the obscenely wealthy, they’re proportioned for both for giants and giant egos.

He’d hoped this would be easier, less gut-churning work than protecting diplomats and foreign dignitaries, some guilty of truly terrible things, but being a bodyguard for a coddled popstar who can’t even be bothered with basic safety isn’t his idea of a good time.

---

Magnus is a popstar and Alec is his reluctant bodyguard. The bodyguard au in epistolary form. Image-heavy.

HIGHER THAN THE BIG TREES by @carmenlire​​ [ E | AU | 242k | complete ]

Alec loves his job. He’s been touring since he was sixteen. He’s stayed in dozens of countries over the years, learned enough of their languages to get a beer in his hand and a man in his bed. The road is as much his home as the townhouse on the Upper West Side. He’s as comfortable in cheap hotel rooms with scratchy linens and glaring lights as he is in his penthouse that overlooks Central Park with its silk sheets and the constant hum of the city that never sleeps. Alec works hard and that hard work has paid off. He just finished his latest sold-out world tour and by all rights, he should be on top of the world. But the mental pressure of celebrity is getting to Alec and he doesn't trust his footing. He's stuck where most people would kill to be and he just wants to know what his next move should be. Enter Magnus Bane. A history professor at Columbia University, Magnus is content with his friends, his classes, and the occasional warm body in his bed. But he's been feeling stagnant, looking for the next chapter in his life to begin. If only he knew what Alec would bring his way.

THE SECRET OF THE SECRET SANTA by @notcrypticbutcoy​​ [ T | AU | 12.7k | complete ]

As busy doctors with busy schedules, Magnus and Alec have danced around their feelings for each other for years, much to the chagrin of their friends. This Christmas, Simon decides it’s time for an intervention-in the form of a shamelessly rigged secret santa.

Or: In which Simon rigs the secret santa, Magnus and Alec flirt over nerdy doctor things, and are both a little bit oblivious.

RUMOR HAS IT by @lecrit​​ [ M | AU | 12.9k | complete ]

Magnus widens his eyes at him, silently asking him to just give him this one. Alec simply curves one of his stupidly perfect eyebrows in response, a simple gesture that carries the weight of a call for challenge. “Looks like you’re gonna have to postpone your wedding for now,” Maia giggles next to him. Magnus huffs, flexing his jaw. “Oh, it’s on, Lightwood,” he mouths at him.

.

Or the one where Alec and Magnus are both after the same guy, but end up falling for each other instead.

CIGARETTE by j__writes [ T | AU | 3.1k | complete ]

His relationship with Magnus Bane had been nothing short of frustrating.

Frustrating in the worst of ways. Frustrating in the best of ways.

ABSOLUTELY ABYSMAL by @aemiliafawn​ [ E | 4.8k | complete ]

The first time Alec sees Magnus wearing lipstick he wants to do filthy things to him. Magnus isn't exactly opposed to this.

A ROYAL AFFAIR by j__writes [ M | AU | 38.8k | complete ]

Prince meets professor and it's love at first sight. Lucky (or maybe unlucky) for him, the beautiful professor doesn't know his boyfriend's a prince.

HEAVEN IS A TASTE ON EARTH by @alittlebriton​ [ T | AU | 20.7k | complete ]

Making a birthday cake for the renowned chef Magnus Bane is a hard enough task – made harder still by the fact his girlfriend doesn’t seem to know Magnus’ likes or dislikes at all. Alec Lightwood, maker of some of the finest cakes in Brooklyn, is up to the challenge, even if he can’t take his eyes off the birthday boy. But as Alec and Magnus grow closer, could it be that the missing ingredient is true love?

LOVE & OTHER DRUGS by @la-muerta​ [ E | AU | 2k | complete | Semi-Charmed Kind Of Life #1 ]

Rising rockstar Magnus Bane’s life is all about sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll - it's an old cliché, but sometimes the clichés are true. And Alec Lightwood, a bassist from another band, is a drug Magnus can't get enough of - even if he knows that like any drug, he's sinking deeper with every hit he takes, and that this is killing him slowly and painfully.

Because this is just about sex, and Alexander doesn't love him back.

OUR LOVE IS A HARSH CHORD by @la-muerta​​ [ E | AU | 21.9k | complete | Semi-Charmed Kind Of Life #2 ]

Magnus lives in two worlds: one of blinding stage lights and the thunder of the adoring crowd stomping its feet to the rhythm of his music; and one of the darkness offstage, a blur of lonely hotel rooms, one-night stands, drugs, and the sting of whiskey.

Magnus lives in two worlds, both of them stark, bleak, empty - until Alec Lightwood comes along, and everything falls apart.

MELTING MOLTEN by @raininginadelaide​​ [ E | 4k | complete ]

The training scene in the show was their second attempt. The first time, Alec showed even less restraint.

SUPPORT SYSTEM by @bytheangell​​ [ T | AU | 122.8k | complete | Support System #1 ]

When Alec's favorite show gets cancelled and he takes to messaging customer service repeatedly to show his support, he doesn't expect to connect so well with the support representative he keeps getting paired off with.

PAGING DR. LIGHTWOOD-BANE by @carmenlire​​ [ not rated | AU | 4.4k | complete ]

Alec scowls. “I’m not on rotation this weekend-- I’m not even on call-- and we decided to make the most out of it.”

“We,” Maia asks, brows inching towards her hair line. “Who’s we?”

“My husband and I,” he mutters and he rolls his eyes as it's like a bomb’s been detonated in the middle of the table.

Simon screeches, “What,” and even Jace and Isabelle are looking at him with wide eyes.

“You’re married?”

Or, the one where everybody finds out

TRUTH OR DARE? by @atowncalledmalec​​ [ E | AU | 4.5k | complete ]

Two small-town cops, partners, Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane, have somehow pulled desk duty on the graveyard shift. Bored out of their minds and finding a lie detector machine, the chance of winning a $50 bet and being able to ask the questions they've always wanted to ask is too good of an opportunity to pass up. Alec gets a little more than he bargained for though when the machine betrays him at every turn. And so does Magnus.

EVERYTHING I DIDN’T KNOW I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS by @la-muerta​​ [ T | AU | 4.5k | complete ]

Alec got his Christmas shopping done months ago - but he should have known that Jace would mess it all up for him. Now he's out braving the crowds on Christmas Eve trying to find a toy that's sold out everywhere for his son, and as it turns out, he's not the only desperate single father out there who will stop at nothing to get his hands on that last toy in the shops.

CERTAIN PERKS by quill_and_ink [ E | 5.5k | complete ]

"You never have to prove yourself to me."

Shadowhunters are being murdered and mutilated. The Clave is getting desperate to find the culprit, but Alec has to believe there's another way. He won't let this end his relationship with Magnus - he refuses to accept that, and he'll do whatever he can to protect them.

Based on the dialogue and actions from "Shadowhunters" Episode 2x13: "Those of Demon Blood"

THE TRUTH UNTOLD by @carmenlire​ [ not rated | 4.4k | complete ]

Magnus closes his eyes and leans into the feelings that wrap around him. They’re two of the most powerful men in the New York shadow world. It makes his chest ache sometimes, the knowledge that they may never be able to take their relationship public, that he won’t ever be able to kiss Alec on a sunny day in the city, that they can’t hold hands as they walk through Central Park, that whenever they do see each other in public it’s always in an official capacity and they’re relegated to formal greetings while their eyes try to say everything they can’t.

He’d still take this over not having Alec, though. That Magnus knows without a doubt.

ANYTHING YOU SAY by @milominderbindered​​ [ M | AU | 117k | complete ]

Detective Alec Lightwood likes his job. He likes the order of it, likes helping people, likes that he gets to work with Jace and that Izzy is always right downstairs in the morgue too. He's wanted to be a cop ever since he was a kid, just like his parents before him, and now he's living that dream. His life should be perfect.

There's just one problem. Their precinct has just gotten a new forensic expert -- Magnus Bane.

And honestly, he's so cute that Alec's kind of losing his mind.

EMISSARY OF SIN by @insiemes​​ [ M | AU | 97.6k | complete ]

Alec Lightwood, the Clave's top protection agent, is called upon to guard the life of his mortal enemy - one of the world's most notorious hitmen, Magnus Bane.

SHOOT TO KISS by @dantes-wombat​​ [ M | 5k | complete ]

As far as dates go, this one's a bit more weapons-centered than Magnus expected - but also a lot sexier.

IF YOU’VE GOT THE MONEY, I’VE GOT THE TIME by j__writes [ T | AU | 73.4k | complete ]

Alec has made plenty of questionable choices, as Izzy likes to so kindly remind him. Asking Magnus to be his fake boyfriend and then offering to pay him? That, right there, he doesn’t know what the fuck he was thinking. And he wasn’t. But Magnus is really nice and really fucking hot, and if Alec gets to pretend to be his boyfriend then… win - win, right?

ANONYMOROUS by @superficialpeasant​​ [ E | AU | 10.6k | complete ]

When one of Clary’s art exhibition performers drops out last minute, Alec steps in to help. Unfortunately that also means he’ll be having sex with a stranger in public.

DATE NIGHT by @unrestrainedlyexcessive [ G | 562 | complete ]

“Look, it’s no big deal,” Alec says. “The angles in pool are just like archery. I have a natural advantage.”

“Pretty sure I beat you the first time we played,” Magnus says, taking a sip of his martini. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so relaxed, so at home in a relationship.

That is, until Alec started winning.

HARDER THAN THE LIQUOR I POUR by @carmenlire​​ [ not rated | AU | 6.5k | complete ]

The bartender considers him for a moment before holding out the hand that was over his just a second before. “I’m Magnus, bartender extraordinaire. While I certainly wouldn’t mind calling you pretty boy for the rest of the evening, I think it only fair that you share your name, too. Don’t you?”

Slowly, Alec reaches out and grasps Magnus’s hand in a poor imitation of a handshake. He meets Magnus’s eyes and knows they both know that this is a mere prelude for what’s to come.

“Alec,” he says slowly and watches as Magnus’s smile deepens.

“Well, Alec, my shift ends in an hour. Wait for me?”

CREAM by @ohfreckle​​ [ E | 3.4k | complete ]

Sometimes Magnus likes to wear panties.

“Are you kidding? You look amazing!” Alec wishes he were more eloquent, that he could miraculously find the words and praise to express how fucking hot Magnus is with his little panties on.

SAY IT by @ilovealeclightwood​​ [ E | 4k | complete ]

“I want you,” Magnus pressed his lips to Alec’s neck, the sensation of his lips against the deflect rune making Alec shudder again.

“To admit,” Magnus continued, pausing to run his tongue over the length of the rune, sending sparks of pleasure through Alec and making him try to jerk his hips up again.

“That I was right.” Magnus pulled away from his neck to look down at him and it took a second for what he meant to click with Alec.

---

Or, Magnus and Alec solve petty arguments in a sensable, responsible manner

ALL NIGHT (OR A HUNDRED YEARS) by @hourglassmermaid​​ [ T | 4.3k | complete ]

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Raphael,” Magnus chastises. “You know I take care of my friends.”

Friends. The word stings more than kuri venom; it lingers far longer than any demon attack ever could. It lingers in Alec’s mind when he’s tossing and turning at night imagining what they could have been if Alec hadn’t been such a coward all those years ago. It lingers in his heart whenever they’re alone, and Alec swears he sees a glimmer of those feelings Magnus must have buried long ago. And it lingers in his soul whenever they work together as allies, as leaders, as partners, because they really are compatible in all the ways that count.

But none of that matters, because they’re just friends.

---

Alec and Magnus are colleagues — maybe even friends. Definitely allies. Alec's content, with his life, his career, and even his (lack of) relationships, but sometimes when Magnus sits beside him, Alec may or may not cease to function. It's okay; he's okay.

I SAW PAPA KISSING SANTA CLAUS by j__writes [ G | AU | 3.3k | complete ]

“I heard a noise and so I snuck out. He didn’t see me but I saw him. I saw Santa and then I saw Papa and he kissed Santa, Raf.”

LIKE NOBODY ELSE by @carmenlire​​ [ not rated | AU | 3.7k | complete ]

Simon’s been Alec’s assistant for the past three years. Alec was a hard ass, no doubt about it. He had exacting standards, a perpetually sardonic expression, and Simon had literally never seen the man smile.

Lightwood had exploded onto the scene ten years ago and in that time, he’s made a name for himself that no one else could rival. He might not be well liked but everyone-- even his enemies-- respected Lightwood.

Or, Simon is Alec's secretary and doesn't realize just how little he knows about his boss until he solves a mystery.

SEXY SNAPSHOTS by @tobythewise​​​ [ E | AU | 2.8k | complete ]

“Anything interesting on there?” Alec asks, a teasing note in his voice as he nods at the camera. “Anything sexy?" “Not at the moment.” Magnus raises his brow. “Wanna change that?” OR The one where Magnus and Alec explore what it's like to have sexy times while snapping sexy pictures of each other.

PUNDAMENTALS OF OFFICE RIVALRY by @bytheangell​​ [ T | AU | 3.8k | complete ]

When Magnus and Alexander get off on the wrong foot at the start of their internship, Magnus takes it upon himself to annoy Alec at every turn.

WORSE THINGS THAN BEING IN LOVE by @aemiliafawn​​ [ E | 4.6k | complete ]

Their wedding was everything they had ever dared to dream of. But perhaps their wedding night was just as special.

CRYPTIDS OF BROOKLYN by @alexanderlightweight​​ [ M | AU | 2.3k | complete ]

For all the rather redundant and overused jokes made about lawyers and sharks, never was such a comparison or joke made concerning Alec Lightwood, as there was one glaring difference between the two ruthless predators.

Sharks smiled, Alec Lightwood didn’t.

ZERO COMPLAINTS by @aemiliafawn​ [ E | 3.3k | complete ]

Usually when someone wakes Magnus up before sunrise they'd have to face his wrath – however since Alec decides to make it actually worthwhile for the exhausted warlock, Magnus finds he doesn't mind making an exception just once.

HAHA JUST KIDDING... UNLESS? by @carmenlire​​ [ not rated | AU | 2.5k | complete ]

"You know Magnus wouldn’t joke about boning his best friend just to do it. You mean too much to him and we all know how gone you’ve been over Magnus since, like, eighth grade.”

Alec sighs and it feels like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “I can’t get my hopes up, Jace. I’ve been in love with him for years but he doesn’t feel the same way.”

Groaning like they’ve gone around the block about this a thousand times-- because they have-- Jace facepalms. “How many times do I have to tell you-- Magnus feels what you feel but you’re both too stupid to get past your own hang-ups to talk about it.”

TAKE IT EASY by @la-muerta​ [ E | AU | 18.2k | complete ]

Alec signs up for a session with a professional male dominant, just a one-time thing to satisfy his curiosity. It most definitely doesn't end up being just a one-time thing.

THE LONELY HEARTS HOTLINE by @unrestrainedlyexcessive [ E | AU | 40.6k | complete ]

“Hey there,” Alec says in the lowest, sexiest voice he can manage. It sounds vaguely disinterested but some people get off on that.

“Hi,” the voice says.

“Ready to have some fun?”

The voice makes a small, sad noise.

“Or not?” Alec tries hastily. He gets paid regardless of what they're talking about. “We can just chat for a while.”

“What’s your name,” the voice says finally.

“Uh, Chad,” Alec says. He was drunk when he picked his name, just as he was drunk when he answered the job wanted ad. He should have picked something sexy like Tristan, but he’s forever Chad now, the douchiest phone sex operator in history. He balances his bowl of macaroni carefully on his stomach and sneaks a quick bite.

“You don’t sound like a Chad,” the voice says doubtfully.

“Why the hell not?” Alec says before he can stop himself, mouth full of pasta.

“--are you eating?”

“No,” Alec lies and swallows.

---

Alec is a bored phone sex operator. Bafflingly, Magnus just wants to talk about music.

BRIGHT LIGHTS, SMALL TOWN by @lecrit​​ [ E | AU | 104.3k | complete | To Build A Home #1 ]

When Magnus gets to Nashville, Indiana to handle his late mother's will, he doesn't expect to be forced to stay there for six months. Six months away from New York and lost in the wildness of the countryside.

It quickly appears that he is going to go through six months of living hell.

The fact that he hates the local veterinarian on sight isn't helping.

BRIGHT LIGHTS, SMALL TOWN: EXTRAS by @lecrit​​​ [ E | AU | 12.6k | complete | To Build A Home #2 ]

A combination of extras for Bright Lights, Small Town.

EARTH’S MIGHTIEST HEROES by @lecrit​​​ [ M | AU | 141.9k | complete | Avengers Assemble #3 ]

The thing is… Their plans have a history of not going accordingly so when they finally do, maybe they build a confidence a bit too quickly. Breaking Magnus out turns out to be indeed a formality. Selling the ruby, too. So what could possibly go wrong now?

In which our team of misfits has to deal with the consequences of messing with a dangerous man and again, everything goes according to plan. Or not.

COLOR ME BLUE by @carmenlire​​ [ not rated | AU | 18.8k | complete ]

Christmas is his favorite time of the year but Alec has barely had time to buy presents let alone enjoy the holiday season. December seems to have lasted the blink of an eye and Alec's shoulders hunch as he realizes morosely that most of this year is a blur of emergencies and rounds and consultations.

His gaze snags on a bakery display as he walks past. The window is dressed with multicolored lights and garland wrapping around the edges. The display case is full and Alec’s mouth waters just at the sight.

Without conscious thought, Alec is reaching for the door to Bane's Bakery, eager to see if the interior is just as whimsical and welcoming as the outside.

[baroquebucky]

chemistry

part 5

a/n: thank you guys so much for 700 !! I don’t know why y’all follow me but thank you all sm <33333 this one is a long one so get ready !!! if you guys have any requests let me know !! okay enough talking hehe enjoy! (Sorry for any typos !)

part 4

Some time passed after you and peter almost kissing and you tried to push it to the back of your mind, not wanting to think too much of it. Esmeralda continued to talk to you about peter during lunch, telling you about things that had ‘happened’ during morning rehearsal. You however took things with a grain of salt considering what peter had told you that night.

Your orchestra concert was quickly approaching, only two days until the concert and until you played your solo. You were nervous, partly because you always got nervous for concerts- mostly because you knew peter was going to be there. You had heard peter play during football games when they played the part of the show with his solo in it. He had never heard you play, and during FaceTime calls when he heard you talk about the pass offs you had to do, he encouraged you to practice for him, but you never took him up on the offer.

You walked into English with a smile on your face as you waved hi to peter and sat in your seat across from him, pulling out whatever work you had done last night, ready to half pay attention on how to write the essay, you would end up winging it anyway. You snuck glances at peter, blushing when you would make eye contact with him. As you listened to the announcements, your ears perked up at the announcement of homecoming spirit week, deciding you would participate in one day, your favorite musician or band.

You pulled your phone out and messaged sami a grin on your face as you typed out your brilliant thought.

im wearing my one direction hoodie Thursday and you can’t stop me

You giggled as you saw that she read the message, immediately replying with a facepalm emoji and an “yeah i figured that much.” You looked back up from your phone and saw peter looking at you, a look on his face, some would even say jealousy. You furrowed your brows at him as a way to ask what was wrong. He shook his head and turned back to the screen at the front of the class, half listening to the news, mostly thinking about what made you so happy.

As you both walked out of class making conversation, you smiled at the curly headed boy, blushing slightly as your hands brushed while the two of you walked down the hall, pushing through the other students. As you approached your history you quickly realized that he had passed his classroom a while ago. “Pete your class is back there, you’re gonna be late!” You told him, glancing up at the clock, smiling as the boy rolled his eyes at you.

“oh cmon it’s right down the hall, she won’t count it against me” he smiled at you. Shaking your head you waved him off, saying a small bye and rushing into class, you could see peter bolting for his class as the bell rang. A blush settled onto your cheeks, a smile plastered on your face, you bit your lip as an attempt to hide the smile on your face, especially because Esmeralda would surely be there to question why you were so happy.

“hey y/n! how are you?” the girl spoke from besides you and you gave her a small smile. “Pretty good actually, how bout you?” You glanced at her, you could tell she was judging you but you didn’t really know why. “im good” she replied curtly, focusing back on the work before her. There wasn’t much conversation after that.

As the bell rang you gathered your things, smiling at your other friends in the class as they said bye to you. Quickly you swung your backpack over your shoulder and headed towards the stairs, not thinking twice to look to your side.

“y/n wait up!” you whipped your head around, smiling brightly as you saw peter jogging towards you, running down the stairs slightly to get next to you. “hey parker” you smiled, keeping your eyes focused on the stairs so you wouldn’t trip.

“what class are you going to?” he asked, moving closer to you as to not bump shoulders with the other people as they rushed past the two of you. “uh PE right now, i really hope she gives us a study hall” you sighed, looking up at the fluorescent lights above you before looking at peter. “isn’t your class like all the way over there?” you questioned, your eyes narrowing at the now flustered boy.

“well yes but i just wanted to talk to you! how do you where my class is anyway?” he spoke, smirking as you began to grow red, he heard your heart rate pick up, your steps got faster before saying a rushed ‘bye!’ he smiled and turned on his heel, walking fast and weaving through everyone to avoid being late again, but it was worth seeing you any chance possible.

Much to your dismay there was no study hall, you walked into the locker room and quickly changed into your gym clothes, going to sit with the two friends you had made in this class.

Class seemed to go by quickly the rest of the day, and finally you saw peter again during chemistry. You checked yourself out in a window while you walked to chem, trying to make sure you looked good. You entered class smiling, at your teacher and sitting in your seat next to peter.

“long time no see” peter spoke up, a smile on his face and you rolled your eyes, turning to face him. “much too long for my liking, miss me much?” You joked, your heart beating out of your chest as he laughed. You both stopped talking when you heard the intercom come on, interrupting everyone’s small talk.

“good evening students and teachers, today we will be doing an earthquake drill, teachers please play the video we have emailed you, we will come back on when the drill is over”

You and peter shared a look, a small smile playing at both of your lips before you faced the projector and watched some elementary students stuff themselves under desks.

“how would we fit under desks? they’re like 3 feet tall!” You heard charles snicker from across the room, causing everyone to laugh and mumble an agreement. “You won’t be going under the desks, you guys can go under the lab tables and hide there” Ms. Patrick spoke up and you all went to the back, squishing you against each other. Of course peter made sure he was right next to you.

You hugged your knees, smiling at the curly haired boy next to you. “all this gum under here is so gross” you spoke, your nose scrunching up as peter looked up. “yeah it is, but look at all the writing under here” he smiled as he pointed at one that read: stan + beck = <3

You smiled slightly, wondering who they were and what they were doing now. “That’s kind of endearing, they left their mark on the school” you smiled, looking at peter who looked like he just uncovered all of the galaxies truths. “let’s leave our mark then yeah?” he smiled as he took your pencil from your hands, wiggling so he could write on the table, looking up and twisting his arm so the writing was legible.

y/n + peter = epic

Your face flushed at the small writing, wondering who would see that in a couple of years. “absolutely perfect” you smiled, your neck hurting a little from looking at the top of the table you were all under. Peter smiled at you, whispering a small “yeah.”

Soon the announcement came on and class continued as usual. “are you wearing different Halloween socks?” Peter questioned as you packed up. You looked down at your feet, ghosts and black cats covered your ankles. You smiled at him, “of course i am! It’s October 7th, so close but yet so far” you sighed dramatically. Peter laughed at you and you blushed, seeing him jump slightly at the bell like he does during English.

“see you around parker” you smiled, swinging your bag over your shoulder and falling into step with sami. “don’t think i didn’t see that whole under the table thing” she spoke, keeping her eyes in front of her and a smirk on her face. You blushed and shoved her slightly. “oh please it was nothing” you smiled, even you didn’t believe what you were saying.

“if you’re so confident bet me the $500! he’s gonna ask you before Christmas break i just know it” you both turned the corner and went down the steps to orchestra, peter and Ned opting to take the elevator as usual. “oh shut up, he won’t” you protested, slapping her hand away from you, a smile on your face.

The orchestra concert was tomorrow, Thursday and you were slightly terrified, you wondered if peter would still go, he said he would so what would stop him right? You smiled at the thought of him sitting in the audience and cheering you on like you did during his band performance. You had yet to tell him that you had done color guard during the summer your freshman year at your old high school.

As you practiced your solo in a practice room your phone dinged and you got a message from your best friend back home, Ximena.

there’s this white boy in my class that has a crush on me but i don’t know if i like him help

You giggled at her message quickly replying with something along the lines of ‘just wait it out and see what happens’ not wanting to give her too much advice that could backfire. Five minutes before class ended you trudged back to the orchestra room, packing up and deciding to catch a ride home with sami.

Ximena had messaged you asking you to FaceTime the moment you got home which you happily agreed to. You set your bag down in your room, saying hi to your mom as she cooked, telling you your dad would be working late tonight. You gm gave her a quick hug before going back to your room and calling your best friend.

“tell me everything right now” you spoke up, a smile on your face as you pulled out all the homework you had to do tonight.

“so i told him i don’t know what im feeling right now and get this- he said he’s willing to wait however long for me!” she squealed and you were so happy for her, she deserved someone nice and caring. “xime that’s so good! get to know him better and see what happens after that!” You beamed at her through the phone and she nodded, quickly asking about you and peter and you updated her, trying your best to water down everything because you didn’t want to over romanticize anything.

“who knows honestly, i mean like you said just go with the flow and see where it takes you” she smiled at you and you nodded, telling her a quick goodbye as your mom finished cooking.

Soon after the two of you finished dinner you went back to your room to finish your homework. You were humming along to your music when you got a notification from peter.

this time tomorrow my ears will be blessed by the screeching of the orchestra

You smiled at his message, quickly putting your pencil down and typing out a quick response.

ah yes, the sounds of angels themselves, not to b confused with the odd blaring of whatever the hell a metal twisted noodle is

Peter rolled his eyes, smiling brightly as he read your text, he knew you loved the band.

oh please, if you didn’t like the bad you would go to football games

I’ll have you know i actually like football

please you don’t even believe it urself

no balls ?

no balls

your heart rate picked up as you pressed the FaceTime button, keeping a complete straight face as peter answered, a giant smile on his face.

“i actually do enjoy football” you spoke, not being able to keep a straight face when you saw peter purse his lips and shake his head at you. “y/n you know i can see you during games right? you only look up when the horn blares announcing we made a touchdown” you opened your mouth then closed it. “checkmate” peter spoke, smirking at you.

“i actually have a lot of homework to get through and i would appreciate you not interrupting my studies” you spoke, a smile on your face as you grabbed your phone to hang up. “OKAY I’m sorry!” He squealed, not wanting you to hang up yet. You giggled and set your phone back down, making small talk and enjoying the company of the two do you doing your homework together.

“I’m gonna go now, Ned said he would come over to help with the millennium falcon tonight” he spoke, a blush rising to his cheeks, he faceplamed himself. Why would he say that?

“huh I’ve never actually watched Star Wars now that I think of it, have fun with ned!” You spoke and peter was shocked, okay maybe you had one flaw. Peter swore to himself he would get you to watch all the Star Wars movies no matter what.

As you hung up you quickly finished your homework and texted ximena, readinf screenshots she had sent you of conversation between her and jonny. You felt something was off about him but you chose to ignore it, not wanting to upset her.

After watching tv with your parents you decided to go to sleep, you had been texting peter all night and you sent him a quick goodnight text to which he replied with a ‘goodnight sweet dreams’ adorned with many emojis. You smiled and changed, washing your face and drifting off the sleep.

When you woke up for school the next day you were filled excitement and nervousness, your orchestra concert was today and peter would be in the audience watching you. You quickly made it to school, meeting up with sami in the cafeteria and eating your breakfast together, the two of you talking about a show she has found while scrolling through her feed.

“I heard there’s gonna be a fire drill today during 1st, maybe you can get some flirt in with your boy” she smirked at you, causing the wrapper from your breakfast bar to weakly hit her arm. “I’m just saying as cute as the football games are, you gotta get some real contact time in you feel?” she winked at you and you snorted.

“what the hell am i supposed to do?” You looked at her, an amused look on your face. “i don’t knkw touch his hands or something” she shrugged and you shook your head in disbelief. “how do I do that? Play sticks with him?” You laughed, the bell causing you both to stand up and say goodbye quickly, heading in opposite directions to class.

You say in class, waiting for the alarms to go off. You weren’t gonna play sticks with peter, he’d think you were 7. How else could you flirt, you were so deep in thought you jumped when the alarms went off, quickly following the rest of your classmates out the door and into the cold October air.

Peter wiggles through the high schoolers and stood next to you at the front of the school, watching everyone pour out of the building. “I wish they’d give a warning or something, those alarms make my head hurt” he spoke up next to you and you nodded. “I just think they’re annoying.”

You stood there for a while, looking down at your shoes before looking up at peter. “wanna play sticks?” You smiled shyly and he blushed, nodding as he extended his hands out and the two of yo began to play.

“okay no that’s cheating” you began shaking your head and you hit peters fingers a little harder than usual. “I’m not cheating you just really suck at this game” peter laughed and you shoved him slightly, putting your hands in the pocket of your hoodie. “I hate this game” you huffed and he laughed, “maybe next time choose a game you’re good at- i mean if there is any” he spoke, and you looked at him in shock.

“quite the trash talker for someone who can’t beat me at cup pong” you retorted, a smirk on your lips and peter opened his mouth in shock. You noted all the students starting to go back in the school and you turned to peter, “shit talking is a two way lane buddy, learn how to drive first” you smiled at him, patting his shoulder and walking into the school, leaving him flustered and way more attracted to you than before.

You felt your hands shake slightly as you walked away, a nervous smile on your face as you looked at the ground, you pulled your phone out to text sami, upset that her plan worked but happy that it actually did work.

The rest of class flew by and soon you found yourself walking with peter to your next class, and then the next, and the next, and the next. By the time chemistry arrived peter had walked you to most of your classes, except for your small animal class which was outside. He did however send you the walking emoji and said “pretend this is me.”

The two of you didn’t talk much during class, mostly because you had a test and so you were pretty focused on your work, you hoped that peter had understood all the work that he had always asked your help for. Everytime he would call for help on the homework, the two of you ended up goofing off and laughing.

As the bell rang sami and ned walked together, laughing at something he said and you walked next to peter, listening to him as he explained to you why you should watch Star Wars with him.

“how do you think you did on the test?” you asked after he finished his argument, looking at him with a small smile. He looked at you confused for a second, “i think i did pretty good why?” You furrowed your brows and laughed. “I mean you made me help you all week with the work! I didn’t know if you understood it or not.” His eyes went wide, he understood the material the moment it was presented, he had called you for ‘help’ all week just to have an excuse to call you. “Oh yeah! Well duh I understood it thanks to you” he smiled, nudging you with his shoulder and you blushed.

“I’ll see you at your concert later yeah?” He spoke, turning the corner into the band hall with ned. You nodded your head, “don’t you dare be late!” Sami snickered as the two of you waved goodbye to each other. “I still think by Christmas break, maybe even thanksgiving break.”

Before you knew it, you were sitting in the audience of the auditorium, watching the freshman orchestra play. You sat next to sami, making jokes here and there and searching the audience for your parents. “Have you seen peter?” You asked her and she looked around, shaking her head. You shrugged it off, you guys played last anyway so it’s okay.

Peter ducked as the robber swung at him, making some lame joke as a way to stop himself from freaking out. He quickly checked the time on the wall of the store, he was already late to your concert. The robber swung at him again, landing a hit on his face causing peter to wince. He quickly webbed his hands to the counter, returning the stolen goods to the store owner and running out the moment he saw the police arrive. He landed in the all good familiar alley, changing into his school clothes once more and spraying cologne all over himself.

The JV orchestra just finished their second piece and there was no sign of peter. You felt your heart fall as you realized he probably didn’t care enough to come. You were so stupid to think he actually cared about you that much. You grew lost in your thoughts and before you knew it you were going up on stage, setting up your stand and flipping to the right sheet of music. You looked out into the audience once mkre and saw the doors swung open, revealing a very flustered and out of breath peter. A giant smile spread across your face and you quickly took your seat.

You saw peter take a seat near the middle of the auditorium and give you a thumbs up. You quickly looked at your teacher as you all began playing the first piece. As you finished playing the first and second piece your teacher moved towards the mic stand to announce how you had a solo in this piece and the usual ‘she’s worked so hard and I’m so proud of her.’ You saw your parents holding up their phones recording and you saw peter looking at you with the biggest grin on his face.

As the song began, you mentally prepared yourself, putting in every ounce of emotion you had as you began your solo. You didn’t notice peters mouth falling open and a gasp leaving his lips. You didn’t see how he looked at you in awe. You didn’t notice how he fumbled to pull his phone out and record a snippet to post later.

As the song finished you stood up and bowed slightly like your teacher had told you, looking at you parents and waving slightly. They cheered you on and gave you a thumbs up, a giant smile across both of their faces.

As everyone finished packing up and taking their instruments back to the orchestra room, you saw peter waiting for you in the hall down the orchestra room. You rushed over to him a smile on your face.

“you came!” You spoke, looking at him with joy. “I told you i wouldn’t miss it for the world” he spoke, shoving you slightly. “You did amazing! This whole time you’ve been holding out on me” he pouted slightly. You rolled your eyes, your face red at his compliment. “It was okay i guess” you shrugged your shoulders, biting your lip to hold back a smile but you failed.

“it was way mkre than okay! you’re smart and talented? what else are you hiding from me” he joked narrowing his eyes at you. You laughed and shook your head looking at him for a second. The two of you held eye contact, not knowing what to say. Your mind was screaming at you to lean in a kiss him, risk it all right now. His mind was screaming at him to lean in and kiss you, risk it all for you.

You let out a soft cough, tearing your eyes away from his and looking at the clock on the opposite wall. “I’m gonna go ahead and uh go, my parents are waiting to me” you spoke up, smiling at the boy softly. “oh no yeah! Go ahead i was about to go myself, good job again with your solo!” He spoke as you smiled at him, waving goodbye as you walked past him to go meet your parents.

Peter stayed in the same spot for a couple seconds, scrunching his face up and squeezing his eyes shut, cursing himself over and over again for not shooting his shot. Again. He turned on his heels and walked towards the exit, ready to go home and sleep.

It wasn’t until much later that you got home from dinner with your parents that you scrolled through Instagram and saw that peter had posted on his story. You quickly pressed on it and saw yourself playing on the stage. In small text under where you were was an“i know her >:)” and a Star Wars gif.

You slid up and typed out a response.

“I think i know you too, also I’m still not watching Star Wars.” You sent it, locking your phone and heading to go shower and change for the night.

By the time you had gotten out of the shower you were beyond tired and just wanted to sleep. You replied to sami’s message and texted Ximena back, she had decided today that she liked jonny and was gonna tell him tomorrow. You still had a bad feeling but continued to push it aside. You replied to peters text and told him you were gonna go to sleep, he replied in a few seconds with ‘sweet dreams’ and cute emojis. Your head hit your pillow as soon as you plugged your phone in and you were out.

There was a football game today and you of course you were going. It took sami a bit of convincing but she finally agreed, mumbling about how she wouldn’t mind seeing Ned while you and peter flirted up a storm under the bleachers.

As the day passed things with peter seemed to fall in routine. Pass notes during first, walk you to class almost every period, text whenever you could, and talk most of chemistry. It was nice, knowing that you always had peter there, and of course it didn’t hurt that you had the biggest crush on him. You knew he didn’t feel the same, considering he had friend zoned you before but you couldn’t stop liking him all of a sudden. You kept trying to stop yourself but it was t working, so you decided to just go with the flow instead.

So as you say next to the boy of your dreams in chemistry, he turned to you with a smile on his face. “are you going to the game tonight? I think we can win this one” you giggled softly and looked over at sami who winked at you. “uh yeah i may make an appearance to support our courageous football team.��� He smiled at you and nodded “cool cool cool” you looked at him confused, “i started watching this show, he says that a lot” he spoke, flustered.

By the time class ended you and peter had made a truce, you would only watch Star Wars if he watched game of thrones. He immediately agreed, sayinf he would go to any length necessary to get you into the best franchise possible.

The bell rang signaling the end of the day and you decided to go to sami’s place to kill time before the game started. You said hi to her mom and chatted for a bit before her dog, Hazel attacked you with love.

“well if it isn’t my favorite girl!” You cooed at the dog, picking her up and petting her. “okay ouch” sami spoke, hanging you a sandwich and a water bottle. “oh please, you didn’t think I actually prefer your dog over you? because if you do, you are absolutely correct!” Hazel barked at sami causing you to burst out laughing.

“anything new with Esmeralda?” Sami spoke between bites. You groaned and slouched into the couch. “She’s always brining up peter. ‘Peter and In this ‘peter and i’ that. Like i don’t give a flying fuck! Peter already told me they have nothing and i trust him so i don’t know why she’s so obsessed with him” you ranted, biting into your sandwich.

“God she’s so annoying, there’s something off about her, I can’t quite place what though” Sami state’s, scrunching her face up in thought before ignoring it and finishing her sandwich. “You ready to go?” She asked, glancing at the clock, not realizing how much time had already passed. You nodded and finished the rest of your sandwich, downing the water bottle and thanking her as you recycled your bottle. Her mom quickly came out of her room and grabbed the keys, making a comment about one of you needing to learn to drive soon.

As the two of you settled on the bleachers you hugged your windbreaker closer to you, a feeble attempt to stop yourself from freezing. Your eyes scanned the sea of band kids, immediately landing on your favorite curly haired brunette boy. You both smiled at each other waving before you pulled your phone out to record him, zooming in on him as he gave you a thumbs up.

everyone’s fave band nerd >:)

you quickly posted it and put your phone in your pocket, pulling your sleeves over your hands. You and sami made fake commentary on the game, acting as if the two of you were ESPN commentators, the two of you breaking into fits of laughter when you had no idea what you were talking about.

Esmeralda stood on the stands, taking note of your friendship with sami, she hated seeing you happy. She deserved peter not you. He would see that soon enough.

You and sami were so caught up laughing and enjoying yourself you didn’t realize the band was about to preform. You quickly searched the field to find peter, giving him two thumbs up as he waved at you.

As the preformance began you smiled watching him march, a blush spreading across your face as you thought of him teaching you to march if the two of you ever dated. You quickly pushed the thought away, you were only friends.

You cheered loudly with the rest of the stadium as they finished their performance, smiling at peter as he took off his shako, shaking his head and fixing his hair. God he looked so good in his uniform, his hair was messy and his nose was slightly red from the cold, his curly unruly and a grin on his face as his gaze met yours.

“sami im in deep, i have to get over him now” you pleaded, turning to your friend as she snorted. “you aren’t serious are you?” you looked at her confused. “dude he so likes you!” You rolled your eyes and she groaned. “fine whatever i guess I’ll help you, but let the record show i am very opposed to this.” You glared at her and she shook her head. The two of you sat out the rest of the football game, considering your team was winning and it was a very rare occurrence when that happened.

You tried to ignore peter but you couldn’t, continuing to wave at him and have some form of communication. The two of you giggling and smiling at one another like love sick puppies.

As the game ended you said bye to peter and motioned for him to text you, sami pulled you away before you could keep the conversation going.

“getting over him huh?” She laughed as the two of you walked out of the stadium and searched for her moms car. “okay in my defense it would’ve been rude to ignore him” you shot back, crossing your arms over your chest. She smiled at you and shook her head, she wasn’t gonna try that hard to get your crush to cease, she had a good feeling about this one.

The weekend rushed by, much to your dismay. Before you knew it you were seated in English, smiling at peter as you threw a piece of paper his way, effectively hitting his face causing you and your friend next to you to laugh. As the bell rang class settled down and your teacher walked in, dressed as none other than Snow White. It was homecoming week, today’s theme being dress as your favorite fairy tale character. 

You and Peter shared a look, keeping in your laughter in as she taught as if nothing. Class went on as usual and you and Peter kept stealing glances at one another and blushing. He was wearing a black hoodie and light blue jeans, even though it was simple he looked so good in it. 

Your face flushed and your heart rate picked up as he flashed a smile at you. He could hear your heart rate beating faster than usual and he felt himself get more confident, he loved knowing he had that effect on you.

As the bell rang he followed you out the door, smiling at you and asking you why you hadn’t dressed up. You smiled back at him, “why didn't you dress up as a prince?” his eyes went wide and you flushed as you realized what you said. “so you think I look like a prince?” you opened your mouth to say something before you looked away from him. “oh! there’s my class I have to go bye!” you rushed away from him, leaving him with a smile as he turned on his heel and headed to his class. 

Class passed pretty quickly, you had a study hall so you decided to get ahead on your homework, not wanting to have to do it at home when you could be doing anything else. You dreaded seeing Peter during passing period considering you had basically called him a prince. Your walked out of the gym and were greeted by a happy peter. “how was class?” he asked, stopping his stride and starting again so that you took the same step. You smiled at this and looked up at him, “pretty good, we got a study hall, and yours?” He shrugged his shoulders, “same old same old.” It was quiet for a while before the two of you spoke up at the same time. You both turned red, he motioned for you to speak first. “are you excited for homecoming?” he looked at you and fiddled with his fingers, “eh, not really I don’t plan on going” he shrugged his shoulders and you nodded. “I was gonna say did you do the chem work, I forgot it was due today” oh yeah I just finished it, I’ll send you a picture of it, don’t worry” you smiled at him before saying goodbye and entering your classroom. 

The day seemed to fly by, Esmeralda seemed distant today, you didn’t mind though considering she had been getting on your nerves lately.Chemistry came and went, you spent the class period copying notes from Peter because you kept drifting off. 

The week continued on like this, it was the same routine as always, you would facetime Ximena when you got home, she seemed less interested in your days and only talked about jonny, you pushed it aside listening to her talk about how sweet he was being. She updated you on all your friends back home and you made a mental note to text them to see how they were doing. 

At school you and Peter would hang out during passing periods and talk during class when you had the chance.Before you knew it, Thursday arrived and you slipped on your old one direction hoodie, smiling as Sami’s eyes widened when you sat across from her in the morning. You smiled at her, bursting into laughter as she sat there speechless. 

“I can’s believe you actually wore it” she smiled, sinking back into her seat and eating her breakfast bar. “I told you I would, these are my boys” you smiled proudly, looking down at your hoodie. “hehe, five directions” she laughed and you rolled your eyes, throwing a napkin at her. 

You had a test in English so you couldn’t really tell what Peter’s reaction was, or if he even noticed the sweater, either way you were nervous to see what he said. He didn't walk you to class today considering he had been late all of last week and May scolded him for it, he had texted you after hoping you would side with him but of course you didn’t.

By the time chemistry rolled around Peter was already in his seat and his face brightened up when he saw you. “no way, you like them too?” he spoke, excitement lacing his voice. Your face lit up, “yeah, wait do you?” you smiled at him as he nodded his head, could he get any better? “whats your favorite song from Made in the AM?” you paused for a second, “I really like Wolves, what about you?” he looked at you for second. “I love walking in the wind” you smiled at him nodding your head.

“ah a man of taste I see” you joked and he laughed. “Do you like any of their solo music?” You looked at him and he nodded. Before the two of you could continue the bell rang and class started.

You continued talking here and there about the band, you both listened to all of their solo music and you so excited to know you had simliar music taste beside one direction too. When class ended you both walked out, almost forgetting about your best friends, Bed and Sami hadn’t noticed though, too caught up talking about who knows what.

“So when are you starting Star Wars?” Peter looked at you, a small smirk on his face. “When are you starting Game of Thrones?” You retorted, and he nodded his head, “touché.”

As the two of you went down the stairs towards the fine arts hall you turned to him. “Saturday?” He smiled at you, nodding his head. “I’ll start watching season one today I guess” he spoke, faking disgust, you shoved him and he smiled at you, pushing you a little back.

As the day ended, you headed home, you opened your window for a little bit, taking in the cool air for a bit before closing it once more. It felt nice outside so you decided to take a walk, you didn’t have homework and you decided you had nothing to lose. You quickly popped in your headphone and headed out the door, choosing a playlist as the elevator dinged and you headed out your apartment complex.

You walked around the neighborhood aimlessly, taking roads you never knew existed and getting lost for a second before finding your way back to a road you knew. As you continued to walk you found a small park, one you never saw before, it was getting dark so you made a note in your phone as to where it was and headed back. You looked around for any sign of your spandex wearing friend but he was nowhere to be found, it had been a while since you had talked to him.

As if on cue you heard a small thump behind you and you turned around. A smile on your face, “spidey!” You smiled, running over to hug him. “long time no see y/n” he spoke, peter cringed as he heard himself speak.

“how have you been? anything intense lately?” He shook his head and you smiled at him, thankful he hadn’t gotten hurt. “how about you, how’s your boy problem?” You smiled at him, explaining your situation with peter.

“I mean i take everything with a grain of salt of course” you ended and he cocked his head to the side. “it seems like he’s really into you though” you shook your head. “nah, he friendzoned me a while ago so” you shrugged your shoulders and turned the corner, ending up in front of your complex.

“I missed talking with you spider-man” you said, giving him one more hug before saying goodbye, before you could enter the building he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards him. You looked at him confused as he pulled you away from your building.

“I think he really does like you, just give him some time, maybe he’s just building up the courage to ask you out” he began, mumbling nervously. You looked at him confused, why was he so on peters side all the time?

Your feeling of him being Peter resurfaced, you pulled your phone out, about to click on Peters contact to call him when Spider-Man’s head whipped up. “I have to go, there’s a robbery in progress, I’ll see you soon yeah? Give peter a couple more weeks!” He spoke before swinging off. You stood there in shock. Had you told him peters name before? You couldn’t remember, you looked down at your phone, texting peter.

hi :~)

You locked your phone and headed back inside, making your way back to your apartment to go to sleep. Tomorrow was the homecoming game and sami told you to not miss out, it was the only other game that got packed besides the first game of the season. You didn’t protest, anything to see Peter in his band uniform.

As you drifted off to sleep you got a bad feeling about tomorrow, something was feeling off. You didn’t know what, but you suddenly felt less excited about the game.

taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added!) :

@savedbystark @hphmincorrectquotes @squirtsquirtjigglejiggle @sonicisnotsober @qrangr @ghostiinparker @acenright @ksmy-99 @mutuallynotmutual @holland-tingz @martinafigoli @jackiehollanderr @hemoglobin-s @tyemmamarvel @Mia-mayels @nochillsavv @frenchfrostpudding @vlogsquad-wannabe @sapphireorchid @laurel-not-lorel @abitofeverythinggg @spaghetittiesbcimgay @teenageeggsneckpasta @broken-hearted-barnes

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #294

“maybe it’s not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate”

Is your bed big enough for two people? Yes. What is your favorite board game? I like Battleship. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think one stay at the psych hospital stretched over two weeks, maybe three. I don't remember. When was the last time you heard someone scream? Irl, probably at some point visiting my sister's family and my baby niece was upset. If you include via audio, a couple days ago when watching Egoraptor's Kingdom Hearts 2 stream. He's a Loud Boy. Who was the last person to call you baby? I have no clue. Why did you last go to the airport? I was going home from Sara's. Have you ever showered with another person? Not since I was a little kid with my sister. Is there something you are keeping a secret from your parents? I mean, nothing major. There are small things I don't tell them, though. Are you able to forget people easily? FUCK to the NO. What disgusts you about bathrooms? Sharing a toilet with literally anybody. Have you ever had gum stuck in your hair? I mean maybe at some point, but I don't think so. What was the shortest amount of time you’ve known someone before you’ve dated them? If you’ve never been in a relationship before, do you watch Scrubs? I knew Jason maybe two/three weeks before he asked me out. We clicked so damn fast. Don’t you hate it when people talk about their relationships constantly? It can become a bit much. I have (had?) a friend who did this profusely to the point it was pretty impossible to have an actual conversation, and then she fell off the face of the planet. Being in love is an absolutely amazing thing, but like... that's not all you can talk about. Do you enjoy old movies? Yeah, there are some great ones. Do your neighbors annoy you in any way? Someone a few houses down has a dog that NEVER shuts the fuck up. I don't know how it doesn't lose its voice. What was the last party you were invited to? A Halloween party hosted by my friend Summer a few years ago. It was a good time. Are you honestly happy with your life right now? N O P E Do you find it fun to pray for people? I don't pray, but even if I did, "fun" seems like the wrong word. Generally when you pray for someone, there's something negative going on in their life, so like... I think "fulfilling" is maybe a better word? Has your mom ever crocheted you a blanket? My mom has deadass been working on a massive blanket since she was in her 20s (maybe even a tad younger), and she's at the tail end of her 50s. She works on it less than once in a blue moon. She started with the intention of passing it onto her kids. Do you regret letting a certain guy slip away? Debatable. It's questionable if I ever would have gotten competent help without Jason leaving, and if I didn't, what if he finally had enough when we were already married with kids (that's what I wanted at the time, anyway)? That would have broken me even worse. What show did you want to be on as a kid? Whatever the Nickelodeon one was where you got slimed lol. Do you have regrets? Of course I do. Does anyone really know you? My mom and Sara, at least. What song do you want played at your wedding? It depends on my partner and songs we consider special. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? No. I do, however, love me some "Love Story." And you are LYYYYYYINNNNNGGGG if "Picture To Burn" doesn't make you feel like a Bad Bitch. Would you ever dye your hair unicorn colors? I would DIIIIIEEEEE to do that in pastel tints. I wish my damn hair took color well... I have literally only had ONE very effective hair dyeing experience, when my friend spent hours turning it red. It stuck for MONTHS. List 3 of your pet peeves. 1.) Turning tragedy into a competition; 2.) making mental illnesses "trendy;" and 3.) elitists of pretty much anything. Do you type fast? Very. What do you like to put on your pancakes? Typically just maple syrup, but I'll put butter on them if given it at a restaurant. Have you ever accidentally drank spoiled milk? I've taken a sip and immediately realized and spat it out. Have you ever had your heart broken? More like shattered into incalcuable pieces. When you were 3, was your natural hair color the same as it is now? No, I was dirty blonde. Have you ever received a scary message from someone online? Yes, I'm pretty sure. What does your first name rhyme with? "Infamy" is close enough, ig, if we're excluding other names. Do you have freckles on your face? No. I did as a kid, though. Who is your favorite Lisa Frank character? Probably the angel kitty (I had a coloring book, even), but they're all SO pretty. I love Lisa Frank stuff. Does your family always have your back? My mom and dad do, at least. My older sister does, meanwhile it's hard to tell with my little sister. She's not very affectionate and expressive of love to the point I question a lot if she even likes me. What type of wedding do you want to have? Gothic! Are you more of a leader or a follower? A follower, within reason. I'm definitely not a blind one. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Quite a few, actually. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, at some point. Do you have a regular vacation spot, or do you always go somewhere new? We don't really go on vacations. It's not an expense Mom can really afford. Where were you working 10 years ago? Nowhere. ... 5 years ago? Still nowhere. ... 1 year ago? Nowhere. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like a day. I know it sounds bad, but I left Girt already knowing I loved Sara, and I didn't really have anything to heal from. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? We'd have Saltines, chicken noodle soup (which I never really liked), and ginger ale. What's your favorite art style? Probably hyperrealistic fantasy stuff. What time period is considered to be your country's 'golden age?' I don't know, I'm not a history buff. Have you ever done LSD? I've never done any drugs. Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? N/A What is your favorite parody movie? Maybe the Paranormal Activity one. I barely remember it, though. What kind of first impression do you hope others have of you? That I'm kind and friendly and really care about their feelings. Do you have a good sense of balance? NOOOOOOOOOO. I stray like a motherfucker when I walk. Have for many years. It's weird. What is your least favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry, ugh. Does your car have heated seats? No. What's something that has been in your local news lately? I don't watch it. What's your favorite internet meme? Oh, I have no clue, I love memes lmao. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing, really. I'm not very adventurous with pizza. Can you name any books or movies where all the main characters die? Not off the top of my head. Do you live alone? No, I live with my mother. What’s the grossest thing you’ve encountered in/at a fast food joint? *shrug* Do you swallow chewing gum? No. Do you ever get goosebumps while listening to songs? EXTREMELY easily. Like that is so, so regular, be it from the lyrics, the singer's voice, or just the music. Are there any amusement park rides you refuse to go on? Why? Most, really. I get dizzy way, way too easily and don't want to faint. What is the best roller coaster you’ve ever been on? I'm afraid of roller coasters, so I can't answer this. Never touched one. Don’t you think black jellybeans are icky? Ugh, YES. What was the last thing you measured with a ruler? I helped Mom use the long, flexible kind to measure the couch because she was gonna move some furniture around. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen? Oh, I'm sure the mountains when driving to Tennessee. I was too young to remember it well, but I can never forget that I marveled over them. Would you rather have a Playstation or Xbox made console? I'm a Playstation gal. What if you were watching COPS and saw your significant other on there? I'm... not gonna lie, if it was Jason for doing something stupid and not, like, murderous, I'd probably cackle. Have you ever tried to write to any celebrities? No. When was the last time you blew bubbles? I ain't got a clue. Have you ever stumbled across a beehive? More like wasp nests. What food(s) make you cringe? Quite a lot, given my extreme selectiveness with textures. More than anything, probably egg yolk. Have you ever played an automated 20 Questions game and beat it? Ha, I actually had one of those! I have, but damn was that hard. Have you been to a restaurant where they cook the food in front of you? Yup, Ichiban. Pretty cool. Do you feel that presidential campaigns make people too competitive? I mean, no. People care about who is going to be the head of their country. Do you find Family Guy hilarious or offensive? Neither. Do you still write letters to people, even though there’s e-mail now? No. Have you ever had an accident involving a microwave? Ha, I'm a travesty of a cook, so yeah. I remember on one occasion I accidentally dialed in many minutes for popcorn and entirely forgot about it. Safe to say I didn't eat it. I've split hot dogs in there, and I'm certain there's more. Do you like the movie Forrest Gump? I adore that movie. One of the best films ever imo. Can you handle heat well? I honestly doubt you'll meet someone who handles it worse than me, especially physically. I have severe hyperhidrosis, so I will literally sweat like a pig in 70* weather. I absolutely cannot handle it. Do you smoke weed? What are your opinions on its legalization? No. Legalize it for at least medicinal purposes. Have you ever had a school shooting at your school? HA, I can promise you my high school must have at some point. Are you usually the first to do something, or are you more of a follower? I don't pay attention to this. What is your favorite way to eat a potato? Fries, yum. Are roses your favorite flower? No, but they're high on the list. Have you ever been to a horse race? No. I think they're abusive anyway. Do you like lobster? No. Have you ever swam in a lake? Yeah. There's one lake I swam in that was so clear you could see pretty far and just watch the fish and turtles. Have you ever convinced someone to show you their private parts? "Convinced"????? That's fucking coercion. I've seen people naked, but not by fucking pressure. What is the greatest treasure you have ever found? My older sister found a cracked amethyst geode once. Idk where it's at now, but I hope she (or we at the house, depending on where it is) finds it at some point, though. My niece has come to love smooth rocks and pebbles, and I think crystals would blow her away, never mind one that size. Do you eat beef? Regrettably. Are you good at card games? I mean, what's the game? I'm not exceptional at any I can think of. What is your favorite musical? I don't like musicals. Did you ever play the Oregon Trail game? Omg yes!!! I LOVED playing it as a kid, especially the 3rd one, I think? Do you watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia? No. Who is your favorite country singer? I actually do enjoy Tim McGraw pretty consistently, but I don't actually seek out his music. Do you know anyone who is Mormon? An old best friend was. Do you like grunge? Yeah. What’s your favorite kind of cheese? American. What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? Most likely Covid. What’s your funniest story involving a car? It's not hilarious, but once we were behind someone whose license plate said "omw" lmao. What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered? Well, a proven Covid vaccine. Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? Nope. What’s the scariest non-horror movie? Idk. What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? I'm not sure. What’s the most awkward thing that happens to you on a regular basis? Having to explain my Mark tribute tattoo lmao. What was one of the most interesting concerts you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, and while it was great, "interesting" seems like the wrong word. Where are you not welcome anymore? Probably Jason's house, at least not by him. Or Colleen's, probably. Idk how she feels about me by now. What’s the most recent show you’ve binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Paying bills. What’s the smartest thing you’ve seen an animal do? I kid you not, our first cat would look both ways twice before crossing the street across our house. (Please do not allow your cats outside.) She'd do it even more when bringing her kittens there too to hunt. Chance was truly incredible. I could really give a lot of examples of her intelligence. I also had another childhood cat (my favorite before Roman) who would respond to a certain clap pattern I'd do if Mom let me bring him inside. Wherever Charcoal was wandering, he'd come running. What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Oh, I'm sure it was RP-related stuff as a kid. What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? I'unno. What’s the saddest scene in a movie or TV series? Possible spoiler warning for a super old movie??? Probably when the main character of Old Yeller had to put the dog down because of rabies. But I cry like a bitch easily, so maybe there's something that tears me up even more or just as badly. What odd smell do you really enjoy? None that are "odd," really. What’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? I've seen a mink once when fishing with Dad deep in the woods. What’s the best lesson you’ve learned from a work of fiction? Oh, I don't know. I'd have to think for a while & I don't feel like it. What food do you crave most often? Probably ice cream. Who in your life has the best/worst luck? I don't know about best, but my mom absolutely has the worst luck. Which apocalyptic dystopia do you think is most likely? A meteor, maybe? If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? I'd want to know if they were criminals or just dangerous. What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen a kid do? Oh, my niece is so funny. One of the things that gave me the biggest laugh (and was most adorable) was this time I was taking family pictures for Ash at a local lake, and Aubree went running into the gazebo, span around totally like in a princess movie, and exclaimed, "It's enormous!" She is such a darling. If people could read your mind, what would they usually find? Just how bored I am, memories of Jason bc trauma, lamenting my disappointment in myself, "why is Mark so perfect," worrying about Sara, thinking of RP character developments... What celebrity would you like to meet? Mark. 100%. I would die to just thank him (if I could get words out, oof) and hug him and try not to soak his shirt in tears lmao. Do you need money to be happy? Don't bullshit me, you wouldn't be happy homeless because you can't afford a home. So to a degree, yes. What's a good idea you've had recently? Hm. What gift would you like to receive? At this current moment, Cloak's (Mark and Jacksepticeye's clothing brand) limited edition "life after death" design for a shirt. It is so fucking pretty, and I love the nature focus. What are you most excited about right now? Honestly? Getting my laptop back. I wanna play WoW lmao. What's your favorite song from a movie? Maybe uhhhhhh was "Supermassive Black Hole" actually written for Twilight? Where would you like to volunteer? I very, very badly want to volunteer to take pictures of animals up for adoption in shelters for like their social medias and stuff. I've asked like the two local places, but no bites yet. What's the last song you listened to? Metallica's cover of "Turn The Page." What's the last YouTube video you watched? I'm watching Gab Smolders play SOMA. Fantastic game.

[belladonnabear]

Hawks X Reader: I’m Done

Scenario: Your relationship with Hawks has been going downhill and he’s hiding something from you.

Warning: The following content contains sensitive topics. I’m putting a trigger warning right here and now. Depression, Anxiety and Suicide are present throughout this story. Please do not read anymore if these topics disturb you.

~~

You groaned as you began walking to the kitchen to get something to eat for breakfast. Unlike a certain someone, you weren’t an early riser who liked watching the sunrise. You would take the sunset any day.

“Morning Keigo...” you mumbled.

“Morning baby!” he greeted happily cooking his bacon.

It’s a mystery how the Number 2 Hero could be up this early with such a cheery voice. It’s a good thing you loved him or else you would have given him a death stare for daring to wake you up.

You and Keigo had been childhood friends for a very long time. He was your hero in all situations. From cheering you up after you failed a test to saving your life from violent purse snatcher. He always had that dashing smile doing so and he promised he would always keep you safe.

Eventually, he asked you out and the two of you were high school sweethearts. His love for you blossomed like spring and you slowly began seeing the man as your sun. The one who brings warmth into your life. Eventually, he became a hero, you went to college and the rest was history.

Or at least, that’s how you hoped it would be. For the past few months he had been acting weird. Well, weirder than normal considering that he was Hawks the Birdbrain. But lately he seemed distant. You don’t know why but his affection with you seemed rather passive. Usually, he would be all over you happily. Cuddling, smothering you with kisses and calling you nicknames. But now it’s like you either have to coax him to spend personal time with you or he just accepts your affection without giving his own.

The two of you haven’t even have had sex in awhile. Your boyfriend was usually always done for it. Groping your body like he was touch starved or flirtatious as all hell with you. There never seemed to be a time when he didn’t sweet talk you out of your pants. But now he hasn’t tried seducing you in about five months. You figured something must have happened at work to make him feel down but he said everything at his agency was fine. You even asked if it was too rough being a hero and inquired if he should take a break. He denied it and said it was nothing.

And with all this lack of affection and denial, you began wondering if Keigo loved you anymore. 

There was that dark voice in your head reminding you that you’re no good for him. He’s the Number 2 hero and you’re just some college student who hasn’t graduated yet! A nobody who just happened to attract a popular somebody. And now that somebody was starting to distance himself from you. Maybe even grow to not give a damn about you anymore.

You had tried initiating Hawks into getting dirty with you in the sheets but he straight up just left you hanging and took a shower instead. It secretly broke your heart when he did that.

And you’ve been noticing there’s times when he was to leave for an “extended work trip” for four days and then returns not really detailing what happened. That’s when the startling revelation hit you last night when you were rejected. 

Was Keigo....cheating on you?

Your rational side scolded you for jumping to conclusions without evidence and even thinking that he would do that. But there were some many hints that were making you think that maybe it was true. The bathroom is becoming is favorite place to be in, radio silence when he’s on his work trips, disinterest in sex and he’s not telling you what’s happening at work or being clear about his strange behavior.

It made you sick.

With a sour expression you grabbed the cart of orange juice and made yourself a glass. Not really having an appetite this morning because of everything that’s happened.

“Oh! By the way, chickadee, I’m going on a work trip with some board members out of the city! I’ll be gone for a few days! So I probably won’t be able to answer my phone a lot!” Hawks suddenly said as he began scarfing down his bacon.

Of course he was.

“What’s it about?” you carefully asked.

“Nothing too special. Just boring government hero stuff you probably don’t want to hear about. Hey, can you pass me the juice baby?” Hawks requested.

Changing the subject just like always.

You handed him the cart and he quickly filled up his glass. God, what a horrible way to start the day. You already wanted to go back in bed and cry your eyes out. 

“You gonna eat something?” he wondered.

“Not hungry.” you shrugged and headed back to your guys room.

Today you had the weekend off and you wanted to get to the bottom of this mystery. Did Keigo not love you anymore? Why was he acting so strangely? Was he cheating on you with someone better?

You knew just the person to talk to.

~~

“My apologies! I meant to get back your message sooner!” 

You were on the phone with your boyfriend’s assistant. Keigo took off for his work trip. He didn’t even give you a hug or kiss goodbye. It only made you feel worse deep down inside. You had texted his assistant to give you a call whenever they got the chance.

“That’s fine! I understand you’re busy as all hell! Thanks for calling me back though!” you giggled.

“You’re too kind. So what did you want to know?” he asked.

“Keigo’s schedule this week. I was planning on taking him out on a date.” you casually said.

You wanted to know if he really had a meeting scheduled or if something else was going on.

“Oh! He didn’t tell you? He said he was taking you out for the next four days on vacation!” the assistant declared.

Your heart shattered to the ground. Nothing but broken bits and pieces were left in it’s wake. Your boyfriend lied.

“O-Oh h-he d-d-did? I-I g-g-guess that explains his attitude!” you stammered.

“I’m sorry if I ruined the surprise! He’s been taking weeks off of work trying to live a normal life! At least that’s what he said! I’m sorry!” he apologized.

“N-No! I-It’s fine! I-I’ll talk it out w-with him! Thank you!” you dismissed and then hung up the phone.

After a moment of silence, you began sobbing. Hawks lied. He took his bags on a supposed board meeting but his assistant said it was vacation. Not only that but he’s been taking weeks off on work. And not because of meetings but for something else.

You had quickly began texting him.

(Y/N): Hey there! We need to talk! Call me! 3:13 pm

After about fifteen minutes, nothing. Usually, he was quick to text you except when it came to these meetings. 

Or whatever he was doing.

(Y/N): Can you please talk to me? It’s really important! 3:28 pm

However, an hour later you received nothing back. You decided to just call him instead. Dialing his number, the first thing you here is: 

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time. Please leave a message after the tone.

Once the beep was heard you spoke.

“Hey, it’s m-me again. Look, can you please give me a call? I really need to talk to you. Thanks.”

After that, you hung up. Praying that he would call you back.

~~

By the fourth day, you felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest and your soul was sucked out of you. Nothing. Not a single text or response back from the hero. He was just leaving you in silence to dread over what has happened.

You felt numb and drained from all your efforts of trying to reach him. A part of you wanted to believe he was just kidnapped by villains and needed rescuing. However, you knew that wasn’t the case. He was somewhere else and not being honest with you either. 

Now you couldn’t even remember the last time you were happy with him. All the good memories blurred into bad ones. As if he was poisoning your mind even while not being here.

How could he do this to you?

You were done.

~~

The next day Hawks returned home late at night. Hoping you were fast asleep so he didn’t have to confront you. But he noticed right away that something was off. Maybe it was due to all the training he got but he knew something wasn’t right.

He flew to your shared bedroom and noticed you weren’t sleeping. Even though you had classes tomorrow and it was three in the morning. But his sharp eyes did catch a note on the bed. He quickly swooped in and read it. The note had water spots on it and was written like you were in a rush.

Sorry I wasn’t good enough for you. I won’t bother you again. I won’t come back either. So you can just forget about me and go be with whoever you want to be with. I won’t care. No that’s a damn lie. I do care. And it hurts so much that you haven’t been honest with me. I know that you haven’t been going to these meetings. I called your assistant and he told me what you said to him. At least be faithful to the other person who you’ve been seeing. Just know you won’t be seeing me at all. Please stop breaking my heart Keigo. I can’t take it anymore.

And with that last sentence he dropped the note and took off after you.

~~

You had been staring down below at the city. Hands gripping the railing as you mulled over everything and nothing at the same time. You felt so hollow, like you were a husk of what you used to be. You loved him. No matter what his flaws were, you loved him. Hell, you even loved his flaws too. Everything about him made you so happy.

But now you couldn’t take it anymore. 

He was the only person you truly trusted and he stabbed in you in the back.

Looking down below, you took a deep breath before climbing over the railing looking down the city. 

It was time.

With a single step forward, you fell off the building. Closing your eyes, you could feel the wind blazing your body and the tears drip from your eyelids. Once again, you saw his face. His smile. His laugh. 

Keigo.

But then you felt a strong pair of arms grab you as your fall came to a halt and you rolled around the concrete. But the arms never left you. You did hear something though.

Sobbing.

Slowly opening your dry eyes, you looked over and saw him. The last person you expected to see or rescue you. Hawks.

His hair looked more unruly than usual, his eyes were bloodshot red and his breathing was erratic. Like he had ran a marathon around the moon. Tears were falling from him left and right. He looked so...devastated.

Like you were when he didn’t answer your phone.

You two just stared at each other, not saying anything. You were beginning to wonder if this was a dream. However, he finally spoke.

“I’m so stupid...I’m so sorry (Y/N)....!” he apolitically wept.

His arms and wings wrapped around you as he kept whimpering out apologies. Gently, he began rocking you back and forth. It was soothing. It was caring. He was being loving. Like he was months before he changed.

“Why....Why are you here?” you mumbled.

He looked at you with heartbroken eyes. “I couldn’t just let you die! I know you (Y/N)! Just because you didn’t say you were going to commit suicide doesn’t mean that you didn’t imply it! I love you (Y/N)! You’re my best friend! My soul mate! There’s no one else I would rather be with than you! There’s no one else in the picture! I’m so fucking sorry that I made you feel like shit! I’m such a bastard!”

You suddenly felt something stir in your chest. Like a small flame of hope sparked up. However, you had to ask.

“Why did you lie?” you whispered.

He sniffled loudly and wiped his tears with his jacket sleeve. Then looked at you with desperate eyes.

“Baby, please believe me when I say, it’s not what it seems. I....I’ve been a spy infiltrating the League of Villains. I’m not allowed to tell anyone about this. Sometimes I just go off to spy on them or “work” for them. I have to keep the people safe, so I allowed myself to get caught in this. But then again...so did you....” He explained.

You couldn’t believe your ears, Hawks was spying on the League of Villains and he had to it absolute secrecy. Apparently, not even his secretary knew about it.

“But then...why were you so distant with me?” you wondered.

“I...I felt guilty. You always ask how my day is and cheer me on. But in reality, I’ve been keeping things from you. I can put on a fake smile for the camera if I have to but lying to you is so much more harder than that.” he answered.

“What...what about the phone calls?” you hesitantly questioned.

“That guy with scars you saw on TV, we got into a spat and he burned my phone. I was lucky enough to not blow my cover. However, that doesn’t excuse anything. I’ve made your life hell these past few months. I’m so damn sorry. I love you. You’re beautiful. You’re wonderful. And I’m sorry I’m the worst person alive.” Hawks bowed his head in shame.

Slowly you began to wrap your arms around him. His posture became stiff as you quietly said.

“Don’t...don’t...don’t leave me out like that again... please...”

“I’d rather never be a hero than let anything bad happen to you.”

And with that, your sun embraced you.

~~

Author’s Note: Five years ago, my best friend took his life this same day. His family, friends and I were devastated. Since today is World Mental Health Day, I wanted to let everyone out there know that you are not alone. I’ve been there too. I’ve wanted to end it all multiple times. I kept pushing through and while sometimes I still have those awful days, I know there’s going to be just as many bright days out there too. If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone who does, please seek help. Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. Here’s some phone numbers down below so you can talk to someone about how you’re feeling. Remember, stay strong.

Argentina: +5402234930430

Australia: 131114

Austria: 142; for children and young people, 147

Belgium: 106

Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05

Botswana: 3911270

Brazil: 188 for the CVV National Association

Canada: 1.833.456.4566, 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)

Croatia: 014833888

Denmark: +4570201201

Egypt: 7621602

Estonia: 3726558088; in Russian 3726555688

Finland: 010 195 202

France: 0145394000

Germany: 08001810771

Holland: 09000767

Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000

Hungary: 116123

India: 8888817666

Ireland: +4408457909090

Italy: 800860022

Japan: +810352869090

Mexico: 5255102550

New Zealand: 0800543354

Norway: +4781533300

Philippines: 028969191

Poland: 5270000

Portugal: 21 854 07 40/8 . 96 898 21 50

Russia: 0078202577577

Spain: 914590050

South Africa: 0514445691

Sweden: 46317112400

Switzerland: 143

United Kingdom: 08457909090

USA: 18002738255

Veterans' Crisis Line: 1 800 273 8255/ text 838255

[astronomyparkers]

Silence {V}

Warnings: Language, mentions of abuse

Pairing: Vigilante!Tom Holland x reader

Word count: 5.2k

A/N: can I just say that I seriously love all of your theories about this story?  each one is so wild and i love reading them so keep sending them in!  also, I’m still working on the silence playlist, so send in song recs as well!  i hope yall are enjoying this story as much as I’m enjoying writing it <3 also please note I DO NOT HAVE A TAGS LIST!!!!! THE REASON WHY IS IN MY FAQ!!!! ANY/ALL MESSAGES REGARDING THIS WILL BE DELETED!!!!

{masterlist}

For a Saturday morning, the coffee shop was bustling with business as patrons moved their way through the line, eager for their daily dose of caffeine.  You fiddled with your phone in your hands as you waited to order.  It was a habit of yours, fiddling with anything you could get your hands on when you were anxious.  And you knew you had a reason to be so nervous.

After picking up coffee, you were going to drive to Tom’s manor, which was the cause of your fidgeting hands.  You hadn’t seen Tom since he had stopped by your office a few days ago. During that visit, he had promised to come to your house that night to discuss his family’s dirty history, but he never showed up.

You couldn’t deny that you were hurt.  You were beginning to think that Tom trusted you, and valued having you on his side.  And yet, it seemed that that wasn’t the case at all.

You shook your head as you approached the front of the line. You didn’t want to dwell on the negative thoughts that had been floating through your brain for the last few days. Instead, you placed your order, grabbed your drinks once they were finished, and headed to your car to begin the drive.

When you arrived at the manor, you held the drink carrier tightly in your hand before opening the front door.  For someone so obsessed with stopping crime, you would have thought Tom would have made sure his door was locked more often.

You took a deep breath as you walked up the stairs, steeling yourself for the possible awkward encounter you were about to have.  You weren’t sure what you would say to Tom when you saw him. Would you ask why he never showed up? What if he didn’t have a good reason? What if he just didn’t want to see you?

That last thought made your heart sink.  Could that be it?  Could it be that he regretted opening up to you so much?

When you reached the door to Jacob’s computer room, you paused.  Whatever the answer may be, you were about to find out.

Before you could change your mind again, you pushed the door open. Jacob was sitting in his usual chair, tapping away at his keyboard as he stared at the screen in front of him. Harrison was sitting on the corner of the desk, a highlighter in his mouth and glasses perched on the tip of his nose as he read over notes you had given him on a donor family.

You cleared your throat and the two of them looked up at you, smiling as they did so.

“Hey, Y/N!” Jacob grinned widely as Harrison got up from his perch on the desk. “It’s so good to see you again!”

“It’s only been a few days, Jacob.” You smiled lightly as you walked further into the room, meeting Harrison halfway to pass him his drink.

“Yeah, but you’re fun to be around.” Jacob shrugged as you handed him his drink. “Harrison’s always busy with training, and Tom is so serious—”

“I’m hurt, Jacob.” Harrison pouted before sipping his drink. “And thanks, Y/N.  You didn’t need to bring us anything.”

You shrugged as you set the carrier down on the desk before pulling out your drink. “It’s fine.  Where’s Tom? I have one for him…”

“I’m right here.”

You turned around to see Tom standing in the doorway, dressed in his vigilante outfit.  His leather boots were splattered with mud, and there were a few new rips in his black jeans.  He pulled off his leather jacket and tossed it on the desk before tugging down his hood, running a hand through his hair and ruffling it up more.  And, as always, he had his mask on.

“Hey.” You looked down quickly. “Did you just get in?”

Tom nodded.  His eyes were dark, with purple splotches underneath them. “I was out all night, trailing this guy who—” He stopped talking abruptly, glancing at you. “Hey, is there caffeine in that?”

You nodded as you passed him his cup. “Yeah, uh, I have one for you. Who were you trailing?”

Tom shrugged.  “It doesn’t matter.  Don’t worry about it.”

Tom tugged off his gloves, tossing them on the desk beside him. It was rare you saw him without them, except when he came to visit you at work.  You stared at his hands, calloused and rough.  And missing his usual T ring, although you suspected it was something he didn’t want to wear while running around the streets of New York.

Harrison glanced between the two of you, sizing up your tense exchange before asking Tom a question.  Then they began discussing some topic you couldn’t pay attention to.  Instead, you looked down at your hands, tuned out their conversation, and got lost in thought.

It seemed that Tom wasn’t going to even mention standing you up the other night, much less give you a reason for why he did it.  You had thought that you had finally connected, but here he was.  He had the mask back on, like he was trying to hide from you all over again.  It frustrated you to no end.

But if Tom was going to pretend that nothing happened, then so would you.  He didn’t corner the market of brushing things off.  You could be just as dismissive as he was.

“Y/N?” Jacob said, interrupting your thoughts.

“Hm?” You looked up quickly. “What was that?”

“I asked if you wanted a ride back into the city?  I’m going to visit my Mom today, thought you might want to carpool.”

“Oh, no thanks, Jacob.” You smiled at him. “I drove my car in today. Are we already finished?”

“We’re kind of hitting a dead end.” Harrison sighed, pushing his glasses up. “We have all these families linked together, but no clear plan of how to stop it yet.  Nor do we have enough information to go to the police.  Not without sounding crazy, anyways.”

“The police don’t always get things right.” Tom muttered. “If we’re all done, I’m going to shower.  Maybe catch a nap.”

Tom ran a hand through his hair and followed Jacob out of the room, pausing in the doorway.

“Y/N?” He spoke, looking back at you with guarded eyes.

“Yes?”

Tom held up the coffee cup. “Thanks for the drink.”

And then he disappeared out the door.

“I’m sorry.” Harrison shook his head. “I should have called this morning and told you that you didn’t need to make the trip.  What a waste of gas.”

“It’s okay.” You shrugged. “I don’t mind the drive.  I don’t get to do much of it in the city.”

“You can hang around today, if you want.” Harrison said, shuffling some papers on the desk. “I wasn’t going to be getting up to much, anyways. My family is out of town this weekend, so I can’t go visit them.”

“I don’t want to bother you—”

“It’s no bother, really!” Harrison insisted. “I was just going to train—”

“Really?” You perked up a bit. “Could I watch?”

Harrison raised an eyebrow. “Oh. Um…I don’t—”

“Not—not like that.” You felt heat rise to your cheeks. “I mean…I’ve always wanted to fight better.  And seeing as how someone tried to kill me a few weeks ago…”

“Well, there’s no time like the present to learn, I always say.” Harrison smiled. “I’ll just go change into some workout clothes and then I’ll meet you in the gym.”

You nodded, and thanked your past self for wearing leggings and a tank top that day.  

 You made your way to the gym, with Harrison arriving in a tank top and athletic shorts a few minutes later.  He smiled as he walked in, wandering over to the wall of cabinets and drawers.

“I, uh, haven’t really trained anyone new to fighting in a while…” Harrison opened a drawer and began sorting through it. “But I figured the basics would be good for you to know.  Even if no one tried to kill you again—”

You walked up behind him. “Try not to sound too disappointed.”

He cracked a smile. “Even then, it’s always smart for a girl in New York to know how to defend herself.”

Harrison pulled out a long white bandage and took your hand in his, wrapping the bandage around your hand.  

“Have you ever fought anyone before?” Harrison asked curiously, securing the bandage around your right hand.

“Um…not really?  The art world isn’t much for physical fighting.” You shrugged. “When did you learn?”

“I…My dad taught me, actually.” Harrison mimicked your shrug as he moved to your other hand. “He was a boxer.  We…well, I always preferred books and computers to boxing gloves. Which he didn’t really like.”

“Then how did you get so good?  Or, good enough to train the Silence, at least.” You asked.

“I was always good.  I had my dad’s affinity for it.  And that’s what made him mad.” Harrison spread your fingers gently as he wrapped the bandage between them. “I was really good at it, and it kept me from getting bullied, but I never wanted to actually do anything with it.”

“It made him mad?”

“Oh yeah.” Harrison chuckled to himself. “He used to take me to training when I was a kid, maybe around eight.  I was barely tall enough to see into the ring, but he would lift me up and put me in it and have me follow along with him.  He always dreamed I was going to follow in his footsteps.”

“What happened when you didn’t?” You asked, almost afraid for the answer.

“He beat the shit out of me.” Harrison shook his head. “I remember…I was fourteen, maybe early fifteen, and I told him that I wanted to quit boxing. And he asked why, and I said that I wanted to focus on school, get into a good university.  Make something of myself, you know?”

You nodded as Harrison finished wrapping your hand. “I know.”

“Right, well, he didn’t know.” Harrison began wrapping his own hands, his movements quick and skilled. “He pushed me in the ring, said that in this world, I had to fight for what I wanted.  And if I wanted to go to university, then I had to beat him.”

“And…and you—”

“Oh, he destroyed me.” Harrison finished one hand, tying it quickly before moving to the next one. “I mean, I was some gangly fifteen year old kid, and he was a thirty-seven year old boxer who’d been training for years. And he wasn’t quite sober, although he never really was anymore.”

“Jesus, Harrison.” You said quietly. “I don’t—I’m not really sure what to say…”

“You don’t need to say anything.” Harrison shook his head. “It’s fine. He left us a few months after that, but honestly…we were better off.  And a few months after that, I met Tom.  Everything worked out in the end.”

“Still…you didn’t deserve—”

“No, I didn’t.” Harrison looked down as he finished wrapping his hand. “But who does?  Everyone has tough shit to go through.  Jesus, look at Tom.  With what happened to him, I’m surprised he’s not a blackout drunk.  Or that he hasn’t put a bullet in his head.”

You flinched, and Harrison noticed.

“I—sorry.” He said quickly, flashing you a sympathetic smile. “I shouldn’t have—we’ll just get started, then.”

 Harrison began showing you the proper way to stand, how to hold your body, and where to keep your hands.  Then he showed you a few self defense moves, and how to get out of an attacker’s grip from different positions.  He was a very patient teacher, guiding your every move and showing you again and again until you had it down.

“Good, you’re doing well, Y/N!” Harrison smiled, watching as you punched his hands. “Keep it up, five more!”

You hit his hands five more times before slumping over, pressing your hands to your knees and catching your breath. “Jesus—Christ.”

“Good job, curator.” Harrison said, tossing you a water bottle from the small fridge in the corner. “You’re pretty tough.”

“Thank—you.” You gasped, chugging half the water bottle in one go. “You’re a—good—teacher.”

Harrison laughed and put a hand on your back, opening his mouth to say something.  But before he could speak, someone else did.

“Yeah, he is.”

You looked up and saw Tom standing in the gym doorway.  He was freshly showered, with wet hair falling in damp curls around his forehead.  He was dressed as casually as you’d ever seen him, in a pair of jeans and an old Metallica t-shirt.  And, of course, the mask on his face.  The mask that made it so damn hard to read his emotions.  His eyes were as unreadable as always, but the tone of his voice was not particularly happy.

“Hey, Tom.” Harrison nodded at him, sipping some water from his own bottle. “Feeling better?”

“Decent.” Tom shrugged. “What are you two up to?”

“I’ve been teaching Y/N how to fight a bit.” Harrison answered. “Just in case she needs to.”

“Yeah.” Tom crossed his arms. “I’m usually there, though, right? I’m always patrolling around the museum and her apartment.”

“I said just in case, man.” Harrison smiled good naturedly. “You know, to be prepared for the worst case scenario.”

You stared at Tom as you tried to catch your breath, confused by his short answers and sudden hostility.  If anyone had the right to be short and hostile, it was you.

“Right.” Harrison glanced between you and Tom, a million thoughts apparent in his eyes. “Well, I’m going to, uh…shower.  And then…call my mom.”

“I thought you said your family was out of town?” You asked, frowning.

“They have phones in Chicago.” Harrison smiled quickly before exiting the room, calling a quick, “See you!” over his shoulder.

Tom and you looked at each other before quickly looking away. You fiddled with your taped hands nervously, unsure of what to say.

“So.” Tom cleared his throat as he walked to the storage cabinets. “Harrison was teaching you how to fight?”

“Yeah.” You nodded and drank more water. “He, um…he told me about his childhood.  With his dad.”

“Fuck.” Tom cursed and began wrapping his hands up. “That’s heavy.”

“I just…Harrison is so sweet.  I don’t understand how someone can grow up like that and turn out so…good.”

Tom grunted quietly as he pulled the tape tight. “Yeah.  He’s great, isn’t he?”

“His dad…God.  It’s just so shitty.”

“Yeah.  Dads are shitty.” Tom shrugged as he finished wrapping his first hand. “My dad turned out to be a money laundering criminal, so…”

“Shitty.” You echoed, watching as Tom began to wrap his other hand.

“So…” Tom cleared his throat. “Want to show me what Harrison taught you?”

“Just some defense stuff.  And a few punches.”

“You know…” Tom sniffed loudly and looked down, finishing up the wrap on his hand. “I…I’m always there.  Watching out for you.  No one…no one would even have a chance to hurt you.”

“But what if you’re not there?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tom waked over to the punching bag hanging a few feet away. “But I am there.”

You followed him over, your hands on your hips. “But what if you’re not?”

“But I am.” Tom hit the punching bag hard.

“What is the big deal?” You questioned. “I’m not a—a damsel in distress, Tom!  I don’t want you to constantly be around, waiting to protect me from something!  I want to be able to protect myself!”

“Oh, okay.” Tom hit the bag with a grunt. “So should I stop looking out for you, then?  Just let some hitman get near you?”

You laughed incredulously, looking around the room. “Is this a joke?  Why are you acting like this?”

“It just pisses me off.” Tom kept hitting the bag. “That someone can try to protect someone, and it’s not enough.”

“It’s not enough?” You echoed, raising your eyebrows in shock. “I’m sorry, did I not thank you for saving my life?  Because I’m pretty sure I did!”

“Look, I’m just saying.” Tom raised his hands in the air. “If you want Harrison to train you, then I can go.”

“Oh my god.” You blinked in shock. “Is this about Harrison?”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Jesus, no—”

“It is about Harrison, isn’t it?  Are you mad we were hanging out?”

“What if I am?” Tom asked, turning back to the punching bag. “What if I am mad?”

“Then that would be ridiculous.” You shook your head. “You have no right to be mad!  You—Jesus, Tom, I can be friends with him, and—”

“I know!” Tom yelled, hitting the punching bag again. “I know you can be friends with him!  I know that!”

“Then why are you yelling like this?” You asked. “You—you never take off that fucking mask, you don’t give me a straight answer to anything, and when I try to get you to open up, you refuse to!”

Tom grunted loudly as he hit the punching bag. “That’s not fair.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I don’t feel like being fair right now!” You yelled. “I’m sorry that I decided to hang out with someone who’s not constantly uncomfortable in my presence!”

“Hey.” Tom hit the bag one last time and then turned to glare at you. “I have a fucking right to be uncomfortable. You have no idea what I’ve gone through.”

“You’re right.  I don’t. You don’t tell me anything.” You started to unravel the wrap from your hands, tossing it on the ground once it was off. “But you can’t blame me for that.”

“Y/N.”

“No, you know what?” You pulled off the last piece of wrap, throwing it at Tom’s chest. “I’m done.  I’m fucking done.  I’m done trying to help you, I’m done getting involved in this, and I’m done being terrified of — of getting murdered just by doing my job. I’m done.”

“Y/N.” Tom repeated.

You shook your head, and ran out of the room.

 You didn’t see Tom for four days.

Harrison and Jacob were calling you constantly, emailing you every hour, and sending text after text.  You guessed that Tom hadn’t told them anything about the fight you two had had, because they kept asking what had happened, and why you wouldn’t contact them.

You felt horrible ignoring their calls, but you knew you couldn’t handle seeing either of them at the moment.  Every message you listened to was like a shot to the heart, and you weren’t quite sure why.

Maybe because they were the only ones leaving messages.  Tom had called you, yes, but he never left a message. He never sent you a text, or an email. Just calls that you watched go to voicemail, but no voicemail was ever left.

The day before, though, you had received a bouquet of lilies. They were sitting on your office desk when you arrived, and you called Felicity in with a frown.

“Felicity,” You had asked, slipping off your jacket and hanging it on your coat rack. “Where did these come from?”

“They were delivered this morning.” She answered. “I don’t know who sent them, but I’m pretty sure there’s a card in them.”

You had walked over to examine them, and sure enough, a card was tucked amongst the blooms.  You had pulled it out, feeling your insides freeze a bit when you read it.

“I miss you. –t.h”

The card was still tucked in your coat pocket, where you had stuffed it quickly after reading it.  You took it out now, reading it again as you had over the last day.  Tossing your coat on the back of your couch, you slipped off your work heels and fiddled with the corner of the card.

He missed you?  Then why didn’t he leave any messages?  Why didn’t he try to contact you more?  Why didn’t he just come see you?

You got up from the couch and poured yourself a generous glass of wine, and then leaned against the counter and sighed.  All you wanted was a straight answer.  All you wanted was for things not to be complicated.

You finished your glass of wine quickly, and wasted no time before pouring another.  Once you finished that glass, you went to pour another, but a knock on the door interrupted you.

You walked over to the front door, staring through the peephole. A blonde woman in a pantsuit and heels was outside, a smile plastered on her face.

You opened the door. “Hi?”

“Hello, Ma’am.” She said with a smile. “I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about the building.  I’m looking to rent an apartment on the floor below, but the last apartment complex I rented from had so many problems.  Would I be able to get your opinion on some things?”

“Oh…I don’t know—”

“I promise, it’ll only be a few minutes.” She said brightly.

“Um, okay.” You nodded, opening the door more and allowing her to come inside. “Sure…?”

“Mona.” She said. “And you are?”

“Y/N.  Nice to meet you.” You replied, watching as she looked around the living room with wide eyes.

“How long have you lived here, Y/N?” She asked curiously.

“God, um, around two years, I guess?” You shrugged, turning around to head to the kitchen. “Would you like anything to drink?  Coffee?  Tea?  I have some wine if—”

Before you could finish your sentence, an arm wrapped around you from behind, encircling your neck and beginning to choke you.  You gasped for air, struggling to throw the woman off of you.

You tried your best to remember Harrison’s training.  You backed up, slamming Mona against the wall.  Her head hit the mirror that adorned the wall, and you could hear the sound of the glass breaking.  Her grip slackened a bit, and you looked down and stomped on her foot as hard as you could.

But she was in heels, and you were barefooted; you did more damage to yourself than her.  Mona’s grip began to tighten again, and she pushed back from the wall.  You used your foot again, but this time, you went for her knee, kicking with all your strength.  You heard something crack, and she cried out, releasing you from her grip.

You gasped for air, running towards your bedroom.  You still had the gun from the first hitman (you found it remarkable that you had to clarify that there were multiple hitmen after you) had tried to kill you with, tucked under your pillow; you thought that if you could reach it…you weren’t sure.  You weren’t a killer.  But desperate times called for desperate measures, and—

Before you could reach your bedroom, there was a muted bang from behind you.  

Whipping back around, you saw Mona lying on the ground, her eyes wide open, and her blonde hair quickly staining red from the blood pouring out of the gun wound in the back of her head.  Or, at least, the back of what used to be her head.

Standing behind her was the Silence, dressed in all black, mask on. Gun with a silencer still pointed at the corpse on the ground.

Tom stared at the body, walking towards it and staring for a moment before tossing his gun on your couch.  Then he looked up at you.

You weren’t sure what to say, or do.  You just stared back at him, a million words bubbling to your lips all at once, but all of them unable to pour out.

“Y/N.” Tom said quietly, his voice barely audible through his mask. “Are…are you alright?”

You nodded slowly, swallowing hard to clear the lump in your throat. “Yeah.  I…yeah.”

Tom mimicked your nod. “Good.  I-I’m glad.”

“There’s…” You swallowed again, trying to keep your throat clear. “Tom, there’s a dead body bleeding onto my throw rug.”

“I know.” Tom looked down at the body before walking over to you, making sure to give the body of your would-be killer a wide berth. “I know. It’s okay.”

“I don’t—what do we—” You stared at her—its—eyes. “I…I have to call my landlord…”

“No you don’t.” Tom shook his head and rested his hands on your shoulders. “Y/N, look at me.  Eyes on me.”

You did as Tom said, tearing your gaze away from the body.

“Did anyone see you come home?” Tom asked.

You shook your head. “No, I…I don’t think so.”

“Good.  Go downstairs, get in your car, and head to the manor.  I’ll call the police.  It’ll just look like this lady was trying to rob you, I stopped her, and that’s that.”

“But—”

”Go.” Tom pushed you towards the door. “Your neighbours might have heard something.  We don’t have much time.”

You did as he said, grabbing your bag off the counter and hurrying to your car.

 The entire drive to the manor, your mind was a blur.  You kept seeing the body over and over, everywhere you looked.  When you reached the manor, you parked your car, but couldn’t make yourself get out. You just sat in the driver’s seat, staring out the windshield.

A knock on the window made you jump, and you looked to your left to see Tom knocking on your window.

“Open the door, Y/N.” He said quietly.

You did as he said and he motioned for you to move to the passenger seat, which you did also.  Tom sat down in the driver’s seat, staring at you as you stared straight ahead.

“I don’t…” Tom sighed, pulling his hood own and running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Someone just tried to kill me.  Again.  And you killed them.  Again.” You said in a flat voice. “There is nothing you can say, Tom.  There’s not.”

Tom nodded, looking down at his hands. “There is, actually.  I…I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You looked up at him, and he sighed before continuing.

“I didn’t…I was late tonight.  If you hadn’t fought back, if you hadn’t done what Harrison had taught you…” He inhaled raggedly. “I should have taught you all that.  I was stupid, and arrogant, and I thought I was enough for…enough for you.  But I wasn’t. I’m not.  I’m so sorry.”

“Tom…” You said softly.  There wasn’t anything else you could say.

“I do trust you.  I know I don’t act like I do, but I do.  I—being around you is—you’re so wonderful.  And you—you don’t even know it.  I’m not—you don’t make me uncomfortable.  My…feelings for you…they’re what makes me uncomfortable.” Tom touched his mask lightly. “And I-I’m going to prove it.”

“Tom—”

“Please.” He said softly, looking into your eyes. “Don’t say anything right now.  Just let me…”

Tom unhooked the side of his mask, pulling it off and dropping it slowly to his lap.  And then, for the first time, the Silence turned to look at you without his mask.

He looked so different, but still the same.  The natural light coming through your cars windows revealed so much more than the artificial fluorescent light at the museum.  There was a small scar at the top right corner of his lip that you hadn’t noticed before.  Then again, you hadn’t ever stared at him so closely before.  His lips were slightly more chapped than usual, but more pink than you had ever seen them.  And he looked…so hardened.  But so young.

“This is…this is me.” He looked down at the mask, almost like he was speaking to it. “My name is Thomas Stanley Holland.  I had a twin, named William.  I have three other brothers.  I…I run around, trying to fix my own past by fixing the present.” He swallowed hard. “I’ve killed people.  Not good people.  Not because I wanted to, really.  But sometimes…I did.  Want to. And I…I’m selfish.  Because even though—even though you just saw something so incredibly horrific and you’re clearly in shock, all I want to do right now is kiss you.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and Tom turned his head up to look at you.  His eyes were so brown, and so warm, and so afraid.

Wordlessly, you took the mask from his grip, tossing it onto the floor of the car.  Then you cupped his cheek.

“I think…sometimes, you deserve to be selfish a bit.” You said quietly. You could feel the heat of his skin under your hand, could almost picture his heart pumping the blood to his cheek. “Take off your gloves, Tom.”

He did what you asked, pulling off the leather fingerless gloves and letting them fall into his lap.  He then looked at you with wide eyes.  It was the most unsure you had ever seen him in your life.

Wordlessly, you took his hand and brought it to your cheek, pressing it against your skin.  His breath hitched, and you leaned into his touch.

Tom’s eyes fluttered close for a moment, his breathing short and shuddering.  You wondered if he had ever allowed himself to be this intimate with anyone.  To touch a person’s cheek just to feel their warmth, and not expect anything in return.

You watched Tom’s throat move as he swallowed, heard the sound of it in the enclosed space of the car.

“There’s…there’s this painting at the MoMA.” Tom’s breathing was shallow. “By Magritte.  The Lovers II.  And it—it’s two people—”

“—wearing covers over their faces and kissing.  I know.” You finished for him.  It was the painting that you had been talking to his brother about at the investor’s ball, just before you had met him—not the Silence, but Tom—for the first time. “I love it.”

“It…it’s my favourite.” Tom admitted. “It always has been, since I was young.  But now I—I go and I stare at it.  And I wonder why Magritte chose to paint it.  What he wanted to convey with it.  If he knew—”

You interrupted Tom’s words with a kiss, your lips pressing against his in haste.  Tom quickly responded, the hand that wasn’t cupping your cheek moving to the back of your neck and tangling in your hair.  When Tom pulled back after a moment, you tried to think of words to say, to explain your interruption.

“Um…” You cleared your throat. “If he knew…what?”

Tom gave a small smile. “If he knew that, one day, the son of a disgraced businessman would be standing in front of it, before putting on a mask of his own.”

The corner of your mouth tilted up. “I’m no expert, but—well, actually, I am an expert.  And I don’t think Magritte had any idea that would happen.”

Tom chuckled, but the sound was tinged with darkness. “Yeah. Figures.  I didn’t know it would happen, either.”

And then he kissed you again.  And you forgot about the darkness all at once.

{part VI}

[frekydeki]

Abstractions

Summary: A simple invitation for coffee, ice scream, tea, whatever it was, turned out to be a little more than you bargained for... Caught in the hot pursuit for the Winter Soldier, you have to play your cards safely, and keep them even closer to your chest; for yours and Bucky’s safety.

Pairing: (Bucky Barnes X Reader)

Authors note: I had posted this on a previous account (that I recently deleted) and it was titled ‘A Little Bit of Magic’. I’m tagging you ( @ilikehocolatemilk09, @learisa) just in case you want to keep being tagged in the rewritten and newest chapters, so lemme know if you do! Thanks!

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3: Upcoming

You are no stranger to unfortunate events. In fact, you like to joke that your special power is bad luck and misfortune. Dr. Strange never believed in misfortunes - he called it a lack of skill and awful coordination - but once he heard your life story over that first cup of tea in New York, he's become a little more open-minded. You are blunt, upfront about your feelings and thoughts, so you like to tell the short version of your extensive history: You were born to farmers - quite a tasteful occupation compared to the one you hold today - but they perished not too soon after your birth in a stray missile from a battle between some lame mercenaries and the local militia. You were found in the rubble by the mercenaries, taken back to their stinky grovel of a base, and sold to the highest bidder; said bidder was a HYDRA scientist with a watering mouth to ruin another promising kid. Until you were sixteen, you were a guinea pig; they did everything they could think of to you... Their little concoction resulted in you, an emotionally unstable - yet cocky and bubbly - electrocuting, foul-mouthed, enhanced ray of sunshine mastering the mystical arts under the lovely Dr. Strange. 

"Good morning, Mr. Strange." You call after a bite of your apple, not bothering to lift your eyes from the book you are sucking dry of information. "Doctor." He corrects routinely as he pours himself some coffee and scans the newspaper, humming interest, "This Mr. Barnes is continuing to peak my interest. Says here he was behind the bombing..." You nod and express your feigned astonishment with a huff of air. "I've always wanted to meet him." You mumble, fingering the old pages of the book. "He was kept by HYDRA too, I was thinking we could get together, have a little pow wow with the Black Widow or somethin'." The sound of Dr. Strange clicking his tongue at you elicited a smirk on your plump lips. You both have kept an eye on this Mr. Barnes for a few months now. He's pretty good at keeping his head low, but you - you're not too big on tooting your own horn, keep in mind - happened to be one of the best at finding Waldo in those cartoon books; of course a high profile, wanted criminal with a villainous vibe of any teenage fantasy novel is no hard task for you to find. "If you want a pow wow with him, Y/n, you should get to sending your invitation before he is arrested by authorities." Surrendering your hands, you stand and close your book, finally meeting his eyes with a small smile on your lips. "I've never been good with invitations and socialization; every time I asked a man to go get some coffee with me, he's stabbed me with a needle... Anyways, you're the teacher and universe protecting whatever... Shouldn't you, not the student - who's me - be going to chit chat with Mister Barnes?" Stephen only allowed one side of his lip to lift. "You're an awful student who doesn't go along with my Brittany Spears jokes, so take this as your punishment and learn from your mistakes." "What can I say, they're toxic," You lift your eyes to his in triumph, "I'm gonna get in the shower. I'll go and grab a drink with this Mr. Barnes after, if you'd still like me too." Stephen dismisses you with a wave and turns to the fridge, retrieving all the ingredients he needs for his "nutritiously balanced" breakfast; living with a doctor like him is a damn nuisance. You move on muscle memory through the halls, all the way to your room. You lightly shut the door behind yourself, tossing your book on your cluttered desk and yanking your towel from the hook on your wall. Last night was another awful night of sleep on that good for nothing mattress you've been stuck with for years - you hate to blame your insomnia on something so trivial, but it's better than to admit the truth - so you rush to put yourself under that steaming water to wake yourself and your muscles up. It's over too soon - a bad habit you can't seem to shake from your childhood in that facility - and you step out ten minutes after you stepped in, feeling like a new woman. You brush your teeth, and don't bother to stare in the mirror too long, before you rough up your hair with your towel and dress in your very own uniform; a plain gray t-shirt, dark, ripped jeans, fluffy socks that you yank over the end of your jeans, and house slippers dawning your love for Deadpool. You've never been one to do your hair very reliably, so after yanking your brush through it, you pull on your navy-blue hoodie and slide down the hall to find out your plan for the day. You catch Strange just sitting down to eat his breakfast, clad in his Supreme Being get up as usual, and carry his coffee over to him; he always forgets it on the counter. "Thank you." You chime a happy response and sit across from him, waiting for the owner of the second plate to show. You flick your head towards it. "Is Christine swinging by for breakfast before her shift starts?" Your brows raise in question as he clears his throat and nods. Silence falls over you both awkwardly, your fingers tapping against the glass table and Stephen nose deep in the newspaper he's read through about ten times now. "So, am I going to go on a date or what?" You ask, glancing to the dark picture on the front page of the newspaper. "We might get mixed up in something bigger than we want to deal with, Y/n." He sighs. Your lips purse as your heart sinks a little in disappointment. You have to admit, you're on the line just as he is. You have bad memories stuck in those blue eyes of Mr. Barnes, but you also get this weird pressure in your chest when you think about just how much hopelessness is running through him in this moment. He has to run away, again... They just won't leave him alone... And that breaks your heart. "Think about it Mr-" "Doctor. Jesus (Y/N) how many times do I have to say this?" You dead pan at the man before you, tracing every feature of his face before the corner of your lips pull down into a drastic frown. "I'll start calling you Doctor Strange when you start cleaning up after yourself." "I've got much more important things to do than dishes-" "Anyways," You send him a sharp glare through your determined eyes, "We've been trailing Mr. Barnes for a long time now. And we haven't seen any concerning behaviors that could even point to this sort stuff!" "He's murdered several people." Your stomach flips as your eyes cool from determined to slightly hurt. "You know he didn't have a choice in that matter." You say in a near whisper. Dr. Strange lifts his eyes to you, slowly piecing together the thoughtlessness of his words. He finally sits his newspaper down and leans on the table with his elbows, scratching the hair on his chin. "As I said before, (Y/N), this might be much bigger than us." "Dormamu... That's bigger than us. And you sailed right into that!" You retort, barely noting the sound of the front door shutting. "Listen, Strange, you got yourself mixed up in this stuff when you agreed to take me in." Stephen's eyes look up to your own, trying to read the message behind them, "We should try and help him. See if we can get him out of the mess he's in." "You know we really only deal with problems that aren't... Of this world." His head tilts in reasoning, but you refuse to be talked down. You stand and take a deep breath. "You have performed thousands of surgeries and have a PhD in basically everything but you still can't come up with a good excuse." You stop and look to him from the archway, leaning your hand and cheek on the dark oak with a pleasent smile surfacing on your lips, "I'm going to drop by, see what he's up to and get a feel for what's going on." You conclude. Golden sparks indicate your dramatic exit, but Strange stops you before you finish making the portal. His eyes, caught in conflict, stare at you until they fall to your feet. "In those?" Your expression falls along with your expectation of some dramatic one-liner, and you look to your slippers. "At least look a little cooler. You'll make this organization look a fool if you leave here in superhero slippers and a hoodie." You groan and stomp off to your room, exchanging your Deadpool slippers for a pair of black high-tops before you pull on a jean jacket over your hoodie. You clomp back into the kitchen, glaring at Strange. Arms thrown out, you wait for his approval. "Is this good -" you stop and look to the woman smiling happily at you - "Good morning, Christine. How are you?" "Great. You?" "Just dandy, thanks for asking." You return your attention to Strange, "Good enough for you?" He chuckles and nods, dismissing you with his hand again. "Yes, now go, or you're going to lose the soldier to the police. We found him easy, the others can't be too far behind." You turn your chin up and nod, sparking your portal open. You barely take time to examine the dirty wall of the apartment before you step through and punch your hands into your pockets. The portal closes behind you as your concentration shatters and you find two sets of eyes on you; all three of you caught off guard. All the attention you were sparing to the hair tickling your nose is given to the two men in the room instantly. The tension in the air nearly strangled you as your eyes bolt between the serious glares they send to you. Your hands surrender quickly. "Oh jeeze..." You exclaim, hissing in your mistake through your teeth. "Did I-" You stop and share another glance with Captain America and Bucky Barnes, slowly gesturing a circle between the two - "Did I interrupt, something?" "Who... Are you?" Captain America asks, switching his weight between his feet. Your eyes glance to the ceiling, along with Bucky Barnes. "You guys are in quite the stinker, aren't you?" You ask before turning to try and glance out the window; they are blocked by newspaper. You click your tongue as you squint through a crack in the pasted papers, "You know," You sigh, turning back to the brunette, "Letting sunlight in helps with depression; even the smallest things can help." "I don't have time for this." Captain America mumbles under his breath. Your eyes turn around the entire apartment, your tongue swelling slightly with the realization that you're surrounded on all sides. The hero turns his clear blue eyes back to his friend, ignoring your presence. You fold your hands in front of you awkwardly, swallowing as you catch the intense exchange. "This doesn't have to end in a fight, Buck." He pleads. The soldier continues to draw his left hand from a glove, to reveal a silver hand before sighing in a defeated tone, "It always ends in a fight." Your heart wrenches in your chest at his words, and then it quickens, knowing that you're going to be caught in the middle of it. You shiver with anticipation, unsure of what to do; should you get mixed up in all of this? Confliction runs through you until those blue orbs meet your own and you're sent into a sea of your own memories; you'd help him. "You pulled me from the river!" Captain America yells his eyes tearing from you in frustration. "Why?" The loud breath that comes from Bucky draws your attention to him, and he looks to Captain America. "I don't know." "Yes, you do." The hero lowly said. You swallow and put a shaky finger up, both eyes looking towards you. "Excuse me, if I could just bother you to -" A grenade pummels through the kitchen window, which Captain America easily flicks away from him with his shield. Another comes through the window behind you, howling past your ear and picking up some of your damp hair, landing at your feet. You kick it towards Bucky, who then sends it to the Captain to throw his shield on top of. "To perhaps answer a few of my questions as well?" You finish before Bucky throws his mattress up to block you both from another grenade. The front door rattles with police trying to force their way in; you step from the hallway and watch Bucky calmly as he hurdles his small table in the way, so they won't be able to get in. You coo in admiration of his strength, your hands still in front of you. "You're sure not getting your deposit back on this place." You mumble to yourself, rocking on your heels in the madness of the situation. You jump slightly, however, to the window shattering and a soldier hopping in, his rifle directed at your chest. Panic sets in and blinds you as you push the gun away and land a hard punch to his throat; in any normal situation you would have shivered at the sound of his throat snapping and the gargling noises, but you are in survival mode now. Gun shots sound from the kitchen as you watch the man fall to the ground; you throw up a shield instinctively. From the balcony more men begin to file in, the Captain and Buck heading the charge there... "Strange is not going to be happy that I am in this situation." You mumble as you bite your lip, ignoring Captain America's scolding of his friends’ violence. You eye the book bag that Bucky throws from the building and raise your brow, but another enemy falling through the window near you takes your attention away. You quickly conjure up a little magic before landing an uppercut against his jaw that lifted him off the ground. You barely notice Bucky throw Captain America out a window as you toss a few extra punches on the man to make sure he'd stay down. Bucky hustles past you, and you decide to follow. Turning around, you're met with a man flying into the closet, the remnants of a cinder block falling to the ground. You blink away the shock before continuing towards Mr. Barnes, barely flinching at the shotgun sounds from outside the door. "Mr. Barnes, I know we've never met before..." You stop to mumble under your breath, "Okay, well, we have, but that's not the point...." Before continuing louder, "I sure would like to help you and then have a little talk with y-" You step out of the way after he dislodges the table and throws it into the living room. He doesn't look as if he's listening, but you know he's aware of everything. "I don't intend to hurt you, or arrest you, or anything of that sort so you'll let me help you, yeah?" You ask, simply. He turns his eyes to you in question. "Why?" You let a soft, warm smile to cross your lips; it's a little hard to face this man with a smile on your face but you know he's not the one you're petrified of...  So you keep that smile, soft on your lips. "Because you deserve it." You shuffle past him and stand behind the front door, before looking to him, "Besides, I'm sure you don't go get ice cream with just anybody." Bucky's metal arm shoots through the wall, and you quickly kick away the door, clearing the small platform of policemen. You apologize lightly as you step over unconscious bodies and head down the stairs quickly behind Bucky. "My name," You stop as you send someone flying down a flight of stairs, "Is Y/n Y/L/n." You call through the chaos. You stop as you watch Captain America - where did he come from? - catch a man who would've fallen quite the ways, and scold Bucky. The man took off, however, leaving both you and Captain America to chase after him; lucky for you, you're a little reckless, and you jump after Bucky, down the middle of the stairs a couple of floors before catching yourself and skipping through the apartment halls to continue your crusade. "Mr. Barnes... If you'd allow me, I'd like to take you and your friend to safety." Bucky kicks open a door and stops to look at you, chest heaving. "Why would I go with you?" He questions before sprinting towards the edge of the railing. You chase after him and jump as well; the panic that runs through his eyes as he watches you is almost comical as he grabs you and pulls you to his toned chest. "Mr. Barnes... You don't have to-" You sigh as your arms wrap under his and you look to the nearing rooftop. You could've easily stuck the landing, what with a few bruise, but still, you are trained for this all the same. But you roll a couple of times across the concrete with Bucky's muscular arms wrapped around - why are you thinking about that?   "Mr. Barnes, please, let me get you somewhere safe so I can explain-" He runs off again, being able to stand much faster than you. You screech in annoyance as you stomp your foot and fling your arms out at him. He snatches up his bag and continues running, ignoring you when you grab onto the leg of a new pursuer; a cat man? "What'd you do to make all these people mad, Mister?" You ask with a clenched jaw, trying to keep the enemy at bay. But he lands a hard kick to your jaw, and you cry out with the sharp pain it sends through your neck and jaw. You stand quickly, glancing up to the helicopter now shooting at you, Captain America now running at you, a new flying man kicking the helicopter; you are on overload and if you don't get away now, you're gonna explode... Literally. You look to Bucky, suck in a heavy break, and sprint towards him. You grab the shoulder of the newest attacker, send him flying off of the poor brunette soldier, open a portal, and look to Captain America. "Don't hate me for this." You say as you look down to Bucky, snatching up an arm and throwing him into the portal. You step in and hold it open until the spangled man jumps through. "What about your flying friend?" "Who? Sam? He'll be fine." You clench your jaw and watch the man, before shutting the portal just before the cat man could reach through. You let out a long breath and turn around, smiling at the two men breathing heavily behind you. "Where are we?" Captain America asks. "My home." You motion to the small building in the clearing. You walk towards it, and motion for them to follow. "Come on, I have coffee. Or ice cream. Tea. Water... Vodka, whatever you want." You throw open the door and look to your dirtied hoodie, tearing the layers off and tying up your hair. "You're HYDRA?" Bucky asks quickly. You turn over your shoulder and smile softly; he saw the branding on your neck. Shaking your head, you offer water while the coffee brews. "No," You look up to Barnes, "I'm Ex-HYDRA." That's only if you were ever a part of HYDRA. Does it count if it were unwilling? You drink your water quickly before noticing that neither have taken a drink of their water. "If I were out for your heads, I think I'd do it when it was three against a whole police force and a cat-man, okay? It’s just regular H2O in that cup." You point out. The two share looks before they cautiously drink. You smile.  "So, what do you want with Bucky?" The Captain asks. You lean against the small counter of your kitchen before hopping up onto it. "I don't want anything." You curtly answer as you spin your water around in your cup. Silence falls over the two. 

“What?” Bucky questions, sticking his chin out and raising his dark eyebrows. You bring your eyes up from your swirling water and smile to him.

“I don’t want anything from you.” You repeat. More glances are exchanged between the two before Steve shoves the confusion from between them with waving hands and a shaking head.

“Then why the hell did you help us out of there.” You clench your jaw and swallow; you can’t just upfront say ‘Yeah I helped you because I want someone in my life that will understand why I can’t sleep at night and I want to be able to think that if the Winter Soldier can escape HYDRA, then so can I.’ You push your eyes up to Barnes and smile sheepishly.

“I wanted to ask him what kind of conditioner he uses.” You point to his hair and nod, “It’s really nice,” You run your hand through your own hair, “Wish mine could look half as good.” The two soldier deadpan at you, disbelief strong on their sharp features.

“Seriously?” Captain America whines, tired and unsure who to trust. You smile and shake your head. You hop off the counter and put your cup in the sink.

“I just think it’s about time Mr. Barnes is free.” You answer, meeting those blue eyes of his. Silence, a common trend between the three of you, settles on you one more time. You push your mouth into your cheeks before you bite you lip under those harsh gazes. The blonde stands quickly, startling you slightly - your tongue swells in your throat as you anticipate what he’s going to do when he stops in front of you - and his hand jets out to you; you flinch only by habit. You watch his open hand widely. "I'm Steve Rogers.” You smile and accept his hand. "Y/n Y/L/n. Nice to meet you, Captain America." You turn your eyes to the brunette, his stance still guarded. "And it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Bucky Barnes."

[erosjeon]

Kalopsia 2

Pairing: Hybrid!Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff & Smut

Summary: You walk into your home one day to find your cat walking on two feet, in a human form.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Word count: 3k

You woke up to a tight grip around your waist, not an uncomfortable one but a certainly strange one as you remember you lived alone with your cat. Turning away from the view of the balcony that you faced, you were met with a muscular chest that belonged to a very handsome face… that had a pair of ears hanging low on top and all the events from the day before rushed back to your memory. You took your time to admire his features, he really is a cat you conclude. His almond shaped eyes were peacefully closed shut, his nose hanging high directly above his plump lips. His arms were flexed around you and you couldn’t help but trace your fingers around his veins slowly reaching up to his neck and face to where his ears twitched. You’ve always loved how soft they felt and how they would give in and lean to your touch. You notice that Jungkook slowly shifted even closer as you ran your fingers through his hair and ears, messaging them thoroughly. The familiar sound of purr erupted seconds into petting, was he awake you wondered. You looked at the clock displayed on your wall, alarming you it was time for another class to be attended. You tried to wiggle out of his hold but he was stronger than you. “Kookie?” You tried to bring him out of his slumber. “I need to leave soon, please let go of me”, you notice that he shifts again but instead of letting you go he held you impossibly closer. “Why do you keep leaving me” you heard him grumble in his sleepy state. “I really need to go to my class. I’ve told you I’m falling behind. If I didn’t have anything to do I would love nothing than to keep sleeping” you tried to move but no avail. As a sigh escaped your lips, the pair of eyes in front of you opened and a smile was displayed for you. You watched his tongue swiped over his lips smoothly as he brought his lips close to your neck where you soon felt a wet sensation. This would be something normal if he was an actual cat and not a full grown man, you felt a rush of heat to the apples of your cheeks. “You can’t do that” you tried to push his head away with both your hands. “Do what?” his head popped up to meet yours, a smile you can mistake for a smirk appeared as he dived into the same spot to lick and suck at the skin of your neck, “You didn’t have a problem with it before”. You refused to let him take control, you had to leave for your class now or else you would be very late. “If you don’t stop right now I won’t pet you for a week” you warned, you knew how much your cat loved being pet and how he would frequently beg for it. You could feel that he tensed and loosened his hold on you, it had worked. “You can’t be serious with that” he said with disbelief, “You can’t do that to me”. “Then don’t make me” you smiled wickedly as you finally were able to make your way out of bed. The route to college was as usual. The early morning had people in a rush and trains to be crowded and coffees to be spilt as people ran to make it to their jobs or school on time. Your social psychology class consisted of the professor making lame jokes and your peers cracking up for extra credit. Once the class was over, you headed to the library to get some work done. You had to do notes for at least 3 lectures to be up to date with your classes by the next week when exams start.

You find your mind wandering about what Jungkook is doing at home. In all honesty, the realization that your pet is a grown up man still hasn’t hit you yet even though you were in his arms just a few hours ago. You began to feel bad as you think of how lonely he must have been all this time, you were always at work while he was locked up inside. It must have been lonely for him, the fact that he had to hide his nature from you since you had ever gotten him made you feel worse. But what do you do now?

You know little about hybrids, what even are they? How much percentage of them is really animal? What are they supposed to eat? How do you treat them? You had many questions which made you find yourself in the veterinary books section of the library. Your eyes scanned through the books to find what you were looking for, a book with the title ‘Hybrids: all you need to know’ had caught your sight.

You flipped open the dusty book, the flying particles showing evidence of how uninterested people are about hybrids and that’s if they believe they exist at all, or maybe, no one cares enough to learn about them. You flicked through the first several pages and landed into the introduction page.

‘Hybrids, additionally called "humanized animals" are technically speaking, also related to "cybrids" (cytoplasmic hybrids), with "cybrid" cells featuring foreign human nuclei inside of them being a topic of interest. Possibly, a real-world human-animal hybrid may be an entity formed from either a human egg fertilized by a nonhuman sperm or a nonhuman egg fertilized by a human sperm. While at first being a concept in the likes of legends and thought experiments, the first stable human-animal chimeras (not hybrids but related) to actually exist were first created by Shanghai Second Medical University scientists in 2003, the result of having fused human cells with rabbit eggs…’

The rest of the page didn’t have much for your interest, skipping through the history of hybrid discovery and into the present, you had found what might be valuable for you to know about Jungkook. ‘The hybrid market, although has been very big and successful for the past 15 years has now changed although the demand is higher than ever. Hybrids had learnt and evolved to be able to mask their identity, making it difficult for them to be caught; and due to the low supply, the commodity nature of the market makes it difficult to sell hybrids if they were not in cages for the buyers to poke and goggle at. People had started to sell these exotic animals ever since hybrids were none, some were sold at millions of the prices customized to the consumer’s needs and desired pet characteristics. The more was desired, the higher the price they are sold. Many individuals buy a hybrid for the pleasure of owning one and being able to do whatever they pleased with it, many would request those with sexual appeals and little have purchased them for mere companionship or support.’

The last sentences you had read made you feel angry, you scoffed in silence at how cruel humans can be. The fact that these hybrids were abused for people’s dirty needs nurtured the need to protect within you, the sole reason of even studying your degree and being here in the first place was to become a helper and an understanding person, someone who can offer advice and love to those who cannot be helped and those who do not feel or cannot feel loved. You had slowly realised that the little amount of trust Jungkook had in you for not telling you the realities of his nature made sense. It wasn’t because you were you, but because of how cruel your own nature can be to him and to his kind. Reading the lines that followed afterwards made your heart feel even heavier, perhaps that’s all you need to know. You decided to shut the book, you think you have an idea of how to treat him now… with love.

You needed to show that you weren’t like the rest, you would never try to use Jungkook or even sell him to anybody. You had loved your cat to death and you would never trade it for the world. The image of Jungkook being behinds the bars in the rows and rows of cages of different sizes and half animals in them made you feel sick. You put the book back and walked to find an empty table to settle your things on. Jungkook hadn’t left your mind, were you too harsh on him this morning? You tried to get him out of your thoughts and to crack on with your lectures even if it was with guilt, you had to get them done. Several tries later, you stood up knowing you wouldn’t be able to get anything done when your mind is thinking of something or rather, someone else. You decided to make sure that you treat him right. You hurried your way back home.

You fiddled with your house keys in attempt to find the right key to the lock of your home door. You opened the door slowly, your eyes scanning the entrance for a male trigger but not finding any. You sighed in relief and close the door behind you, because in all honesty, you didn’t know what to say to him once you see him but you had made your mid up, you’re going to take him out and buy him all of his necessities and make sure he’s satisfied and happy. You walked to the kitchen and found no sign of him, was he still sleeping you wondered. On the bed you found a sprawled naked man, with the bed sheet missing all the areas that you wish you could unsee as you turned around and began to feel smothered. He needs some clothes.

You cleared your voice, “Jungkook?”

But there was no response.

“Jungkook!” you tried to sound loud but gentle.

You can hear the bed sheet moving around before a groan ringed through the room, “Y/N?”

“Can you get up?” you asked,

“What? Why?”

“Just get u-“ you interrupted yourself as you felt him moving to his feet still bare making you close your eyes, “But cover yourself first please”.

You heard a laugh that you suspect to be on your flushed state, why was he making you feel so bothered.

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, I mean not that you saw anything true to size right?” he sounded rather smug, “Or you have actually, yesterday.” You can feel his breath fanning down onto your arm. You tried your hardest not to look worked up. It’s all fine.

“Yeah and I rather not see anything again” you turned away from him.

“Are you sure?” he asked with humour in his voice, knowing he was not being serious. He lifted his arms and wrapped them around your figure, making sure nothing else would touch you although he really wanted to.

“Are you okay though, you sound… different?” he curiously spoke before attaching his lips lightly on the spot right beside the skin of your neck.

“Yeah, I’m fine” you quickly replied cautious of him catching onto anything, “Just, we need you to find something to wear so we can go out”

“We’re going out?” he asks slowly, as if not pleased with the idea but you wordlessly, understood why.

“Yeah but don’t worry… I have some clothes from my ex- Jin and you have similar heights and body proportions I think so it should be fine” you said making sure you haven’t forgot anything else, “Oh and I have a cap too just to cover your ears if you don’t feel comfortable”.

“Thanks y/n, but why are we suddenly going out?” he asked, “You usually go out alone”.

“I know, I know… that’s why I want you to come. I don’t want to leave you behind. I couldn’t take you before you know… revealed yourself to me because the places I go don’t allow pets”.

“Okay” he sounded a bit worried and hesitant, making you want to smack yourself in the face for not trying harder to sound convincing because after all, you’re doing this for him to show your care and affection for him.

You turned around, trying your best to only look at his face, “I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do. Truth is, I want you to be comfortable with me, I want to take you and make sure you have clothes and anything else you need.”

“But you don’t have much money, remember?” he replied as he quirked an eyebrow.

“It’s alright… I’m sure I can afford anything you need at the moment” you said out loud although your intention was to say that to yourself. You can afford it you tried to convince yourself although you know deep inside you would over spend but that’s okay if it means for him to feel a bit safer with you, to trust you a little bit more.

“Okay let’s go” he gave you the same bunny smile from yesterday, making you smile to yourself at the cuteness of it. He could pass for a rabbit if his ears were a bit longer.

“Great, let’s get you Jin’s clothes” you said as you walked to your wardrobe before hearing the man behind you sigh quietly.

Once he was dressed, you made sure that the cap and clothing covered the entirety of his other half nature. His tail was confined in the tights black jeans which you suspect pained him as his thighs had already taken up so much space, you were sure it would rip open if he sat down, you were glad that the plain white shirt was more comfortable for him.

As you locked the door, you walked outside heading to the station which is the fastest way to get to the shopping centre. The journey afterwards was pretty fast. You did get looks from strangers but all were girls who looked up and down the body of Jungkook, you suspect that they were horny and had not caught on with his feline nature. The shopping centre was fortunately rather empty, you conversed with Jungkook about what he would need other than clothes which he has replied with as food. You sighed as you walked into the store, you asked Jungkook to pick as many as he liked but secretly hoping he’d pick a few and not go all out for the sake of your bank account. He had managed to get a collection of clothing before waiting for the changing rooms to try them on to see if the size fit.

Most of the things he had picked were good on him as you expected, he looked so happy in them making you smile to yourself. You were proud for doing this, you don’t even care what price you need to pay for his giggles and adorable smile. When you paid for everything, you walked outside shoe stores, Jungkook was carrying his clothes in a bag wrapped around his wrist while you were viewing the goods from the window. You walked inside the store as you saw the pair of heels you’ve always wanted to buy, you thought you were followed by Jungkook as you took the heels in your hand to show him but he was not in view, you tried not to panic but you failed as you frantically turned to find him.

There he was, he was holding a pair of mustard boots, they looked really nice but you knew how expensive they would cost. You knew Jungkook wouldn’t make you buy it if he knew the price of timberlands but you slowly put the heels down before he looked at you and you walked towards him with a smile.

“Why don’t you try them?” you asked,

“What? No, I’ve already bought too much today” he said before putting them down.

“I get to make that choice if I’m paying” you said as you took the shoes and asked for the assistant to measure Jungkook’s feet and to grab the boots in his size.

The look on his face as he wore it was unforgettable, he really enjoyed them and you knew there’s no way you were not going to buy them. His smile was priceless, and you think you’re falling for it. You took the shoe box and headed to the till. Jungkook protested at first but they died down when you glared at him and handed your card to the lady opposite you.

You left the store and thought it might be wise to eat outside since Jungkook has probably never done that before, you grabbed his free hand and took him to the food court. The smell of food was everywhere, you notice his nose scrunching and sniffing at the evident scent of meat in the air.

“What do you feel like eating?” you asked,

“I could eat everything” he said slowly while literally drooling, making you laugh.

“I know the smell is good but we need to get food, is chicken okay? That place has really good chicken”

“Why would people sell bad chicken?” he questioned, while looking confused.

“I don’t know, I ask myself that sometimes too”

You had ordered food and found a table. Once the food was cleared you thought it was time to head home, you’ve followed the path you took earlier and just before the exit, a girl that you’d suspect to be as old as you are in a cap and an outfit that mirrored your hybrid looked at the male beside.

“Jungkook?”

A/N: Happy New Year! Give this a lot of love and as always feedback is appreciated!x

[idekwidcfo]

chapter one part two

And I didn’t do it! Months passed and I had the same issues-- I wanted to ask her out! I planned on asking her out! But I didn’t. Every time I tried-- still!-- I chickened out. 

It got to be a few days before prom and suddenly Mar was approaching me. We were in the halls after school; I had been putting textbooks in my locker. “Hey,” she said, casually. 

“Hi,” I said, hoping I sounded casual but paranoid that I sounded terrified, since I was. 

“So, Billie and I had a really interesting conversation earlier,” she told me, in the same casual tone.  

“Oh?” I asked, all I could get out since my thoughts had frozen to a complete halt. 

“Yeah, something about how you were supposed to ask me out but never worked up the nerve so now she had to tell me about it since she had told you that she was going to tell me if you didn’t do it? And uh, yeah, you didn’t ask me out, so her story checks out.” 

I felt my face get hot and looked at the cuticles on my thumb instead of her. “Um,” I said, because it seemed like I had to say something. Mar didn’t say anything but I could feel her looking at me and supposed that meant I had to say something else. “Yeah, that’s a thing that happened, I guess.” 

She sighed. “You know, being too scared to work up the nerve to ask me out isn’t a very attractive trait.” 

“Yeah, I figure,” I said, deciding my shoes were more interesting than my nails. 

“You’re lucky you have a lot of traits that are attractive.” 

I looked up to check whether she was teasing me or not. It didn’t look like she was. “You have so many traits that are attractive that it’s intimidating.” 

She smiled at me. I was dazzled by it. I think my heart might have stopped for a moment. “You’re really cute, you know. What a bummer you never got the stones to ask me out.” 

“Oh. So you aren’t asking me to prom? You’re just calling me out for being a pathetic scared jackass?” 

“Why should I ask you out if you’re the one that has a crush on me?” she said. 

“Oh. Okay. That’s fair,” I replied, hoping my face wasn’t giving away the fact that I was devastated. 

Mar sighed again. “Look, dude, I’ll make you a deal. Ask me out, and I’ll say yes. Not to prom, it’s way too late for that and I’m taking a couple of my friends as friend-dates. I’m not going to dick out on them a few days before prom. But ask me on some other date. The only thing is that you have to actually do it, okay? And not right now. My mom is going to get pissed at me if I don’t go meet her at the car immediately. My AIM screenname is ‘ohshititsmar’, all one word. Hit me up,” she said, then literally skipped away. I loved it. Conspicuous weirdness was definitely one of the reasons I found her so attractive. 

I wasted no time when I got home-- I went straight to my computer and added her on AIM, though I was disappointed to see she was not online. Had she really been suggesting that I ask her out over internet chat? I hoped so. That would be so much easier than asking her out in person. And it would still be asking her out, so it fit the ‘deal’ she made me. 

I tried to focus on some homework, with a bit of success. It took me an hour to add one paragraph to a research essay I was writing for World History, but that was better than not adding anything. Eventually, Mar did log on, but I didn’t message her right away. I didn’t want it to be obvious that I had been waiting for her to sign on. But I didn’t want to give myself the opportunity to not message her at all, so I was sure to wait only five minutes. 

The problem was that I struggled for another five minutes or so about what to actually say. I eventually decided to send her something short and simple: “hey”. I felt kinda dumb for overthinking it so much, but I had really wanted to say something clever and interesting. When I hadn’t been able to think of anything clever and interesting, I figured saying “hey” was better than nothing. 

She responded, and we got a pretty decent chat going. 

OHSHITITSMAR: hey! Wasn’t sure you’d message me lol 

Cows_IV: lol why you think I’m that much of a pussy? >_> 

OHSHITITSMAR: well, sort of? the whole reason we’re talking is because Billie telling me you were too much of a pussy to ask me out lol 

Cows_IV: okay, that’s fair. but it’s a lot easier to message someone online to talk in person, you know? 

OHSHITITSMAR: yeah, also fair. I’m totally interested in getting to know you a little better you know. 

Cows_IV: same to you, obviously! I think you’re super attractive and awesome but I guess I haven’t really talked to you one-on-one. 

So we started talking. We had a lot of favourite musicians in common, but still had plenty of recommendations for each other. We sent each other mp3 files of our favourite stuff, and I added the songs she sent me to the playlist I was listening to. Some of her recommendations were local bands, which I was stoked about. It turned out she liked going out to see live music, something I had always wanted to do but never actually ended up doing. 

Hours passed, and before we knew it, it was 2am. 

Cows_IV: Holy shit, it’s past 2am >_> 

OHSHITITSMAR: hahaha, so it is. It’s been really fun talking to you ^_^ 

Cows_IV: glad to hear! I was so nervous lol. you’re so cool, and I’m just the weird little trans boy whose never got the courage to ask anyone out :( 

OHSHITITSMAR: and why is that? if u don’t mind my asking 

Cows_IV: because I am a trans boy, mostly, I think. I don’t think anyone wants to date me because of it. Most people like to date dudes with dicks and chicks with vaginas, to be blunt. 

OHSHITITSMAR: so you’ve just been denying yourself even trying to date anyone? 

Cows_IV: well, not no one. I dated some boys in 9th and 10th grade. But they kept insisting they were straight and i was “really a girl” and I couldn’t take it any more. 

Cows_IV: I said “they” like it happened a bunch lol just two guys 

Cows_IV: I know I like girls too but before transition guys would actually ask me out and girls don’t usually do the asking out so never dated one before

Cows_IV: aaaand now I’m just going on and on and on about myself lol 

Cows_IV: how about you you have a dating history? 

OHSHITITSMAR: uhh no worries, that’s interesting lol 

OHSHITITSMAR: I would say tell me more but I guess we’ll get there someday, right? 

Cows_IV: [grinning emoji] 

OHSHITITSMAR: I dated one dude in 9th&10th grade then he met someone he liked more than me [shrugging emoji] I have not gotten back into the whole dating thing since. 

OHSHITITSMAR: partially because i also like boys&girls and girls do suck at asking people out… you got that so right lmao 

Cows_IV: but you do like boys 

OHSHITITSMAR: yeah duhh lol why do you think I gave you my AIM sn? 

Cows_IV: a lot of people don’t think I’m a boy, sadly. 

OHSHITITSMAR: that’s dumb yr literally growing facial hair and did you have top surgery or are you just really good at smooshing yr titties down? 

Cows_IV: [laughing emoji] no I’ve had top surgery lol. thanks. That was very Validating lmao 

OHSHITITSMAR: well it’s true anyone who wants to look at you and call you a girl is clearly a dumbass with yr little mustahce and all that 

Cows_IV: Well, I guess it’s time 

OHSHITITSMAR: for what, us to go to fuckn sleep? It is almost 3am now >_> 

I looked at the screen, struggling with myself a bit. I had wanted it to be time to ask her out, but she had a point that it was actually probably time to go to sleep. But for some reason, maybe because it was 3 am, maybe because I felt bad about not asking her out earlier, maybe because I’d had such a nice time chatting with her for the past, what, 9 hours? I decided to go through with it. 

Cows_IV: no, silly, it’s time for me to ask you out before I get the chance to chicken out again. 

I kept typing, and was both relieved and a little freaked out to see Mar was not typing. I imagined she was waiting for me to finish, but I was also scared she actually hadn’t wanted me to ask her out over instant messenger and I was making a fool of myself. 

Cows_IV: I know it’s not, like, the most impressive thing to ask someone out over AIM but I’m really scared if I tell myself I’ll do it tomorrow in person, or Monday, or whatever, I’ll just end up not doing it again. I am feeling brace enough to do it now and am going to go ahead and do it 

Cows_IV: SHIT *brave lol 

I kept an eye out for the little “OHSHITITSMAR is typing…” notification on the bottom of our chat window and didn’t see it, so I continued to type. 

Cows_IV: ANYWAY to make it, like, official and asking you on a real date or whatever. Dear Mar, would you like to go with me to Electric Avenue next Friday to check out the local bands and have a First Date? 

I hit enter, and watched closely again for the little “OHSHITITSMAR is typing…” notification. It didn’t show up for a while, just long enough to get a little knot in my stomach. Luckily, it did show up a few moments later, but it didn’t ease the stomach knot. 

Finally, a message from her replaced the “OHSHITITSMAR is typing…” notification. 

OHSHITITSMAR: okay, I’m totally down. I was worried you wouldn’t even get the nerve to ask me out over AIM, but you did and I’m glad. So, it’ll be our first date? You and me at Electric Avenue moshing to local bands? :smiling emoji: 

I fucking screamed. A terrible shrill sound that was pretty much “eeeeee!!!” came out of my mouth. I remembered it was 3am and my dad would tear me a new one if I woke him up, so I made myself shut the fuck up as soon as possible, but the giant smile on my face was nice and quiet and stuck around for a good ten minutes. 

Cows_IV: yes! I just got my license a few months ago so I can even pick you up. Wanna make it a ~~real~~ date and get food first? 

OHSHITITSMAR: sure! I see doors open at 8, pick me up at 7? I’ll give you my address in person at school. 

Cows_IV: wow! Sounds great! Anywhere in particular you’d likne to go for dinner? 

OHSHITITSMAR: you’re buying lol, so fast food is fine. Maybe steak n shake? Cheap but sit down? Also i fckn love Steak n shake lol 

Cows_IV: it is a date! So, uh, do you want to go to sleep now? It is … three hours until school starts :s sorry to keep you up so late. 

OHSHITITSMAR: eh, why bother at this point? Wanna stay up and pull an all-nighter together? 

Cows_IV: :grinning emoji: that sounds fun. I pull all-nighters by myself often enough, it’ll be nice to sort of have some company. 

And so we stayed up until it was time to get ready for school, chatting, sharing our favorite songs, getting to know each other even better, and sending each other links to funny memes. 

[queen-sands]

Save Me From Myself - Part 12

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Reader

Summary:  Y/N was the leading medic on the team catering to the Winter Soldier under the watchful eye of Hydra against her patriotic will. After helping Captain America and the Falcon  to track down her ‘patient,’ Y/N took up a job at the Avengers Tower.

Recap: Y/N and Bucky had been getting closer until a mission called him away. Then a late night distress call about Bucky being hurt set things in motion to put distance between the two.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

A/N: I’m so sorry I took so long (2 years so long) to write the ending to this. I apologize profusely if my writing sucks. I’m a little rusty I’m afraid! :( Anyways...here’s the last part to Save Me From Myself. You’re always welcome to message me! <3

Y/N was avoiding him. She did come to see him when he was in Med Care but it seemed like she made it a point to only visit when he was either asleep or when she was accompanied by Steve or Natasha. More often than not, he pretended to be asleep just to be in her presence longer and he felt like a fool for it.

There were many things he still didn’t understand about himself and where he fit in this new world, but this was what ate at him the most. She was there, but she wasn’t. She spoke to him but all the inside jokes and stupid banter has been pushed aside to leave behind just polite pleasantries. She was close enough to touch and yet never has she been furthest from his reach. He did not understand at all.

Talking to Steve put things in perspective as it usually did.

“So she saw the surveillance footage of the last mission?” Bucky asked just to make sure he was hearing things right. Steve nodded curtly. “How did that even happen, Steve?”

“She walked in while I was reviewing. I think she came to update about your condition post-surgery.”

“How much?” Bucky breathed out. “How much did she see?”

“Enough.”

It was devastating for Steve to see the emotions warring against each other within his friend. The tension and horror was almost palpable. That mission had not been pretty, and Bucky...what he was capable of was not mild.

Enough. The word reverberated through Bucky’s mind. No wonder Y/N wanted nothing to do with him. She saw just how much of a monster he truly was – the killing machine. She finally knew that no matter how many shows they binged watched together or how many hours they spent idly chatting about life over coffee, there was a part of him that would never be erased. The greatest part of him. The worst part of him.

“Bucky...” Steve reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder but he flinched away.

“I should have known,” he whispered in resignation, eyes closed, almost as if the words were uttered to himself.

“Known what?”

He looked Steve in the eye and there was such a sense of defeat and even a slight hint of anger simmering in the blue. “I’m not meant for good things.”

“Bucky...”

“That it was just a moment in time and soon reality of who I am would set in. I should have known but I thought she was different.”

She is in love with you. Steve almost blurted it out but in the end he was glad he didn’t. It wasn’t his place to say it and even if it was, now was not the time.

He watched Bucky walk out. He hated seeing him that way. He hated that he felt he didn’t deserve good things in his life. Steve couldn’t help but feel angry at Doc. She knew who Bucky was. She’d known from the very beginning what he was and what Hydra made him out to be. If she couldn’t handle what he came with, she shouldn’t have let him get so close to her at all.

But in the end, it was between them and Steve couldn’t interfere.

Y/N was typing away on her laptop when she heard the door to her lab open. She looked up to find Bucky closing the door behind him.

“Hey!” She greeted him with a smile but her hesitance was obvious and the smile didn’t reach her eyes.

In that moment, all of his well thought out intentions gave away and his anger took over. “You’re avoiding me.”

It wasn’t a question but she answered none the same. “Yes.”

“You saw the footage.”

“Yes.”

He took a deep breath, as if bolstering himself up for the rest of the conversation. “So that’s it then, is it? You finally saw what I truly am and everything we had is just thrown out of the window, just like that? Is that how little it all meant to you or am I so despicable that even having a fucking decent conversation with me is so damn disgusting to you?”

He waited with bated breath, anger evident in every bit of him, his stance defensive. He prayed she’d deny it. He expected her to shut him out.

She walked towards him so fast he didn’t see it coming till her fist collided with his chest. It didn’t hurt but the shock of it made him cry out.

“How dare you?” She yelled.

Y/N never yelled. Y/N was never physically violent. But here she was screaming her head off at him and punching him with every word. Bucky was too confounded to respond or even understand why the hell she was angry.

“Is that how little you think of me?” she asked, continuing without waiting for Bucky to say anything. “That I am disgusted with you? That I am afraid of you?” She pushed him and walked away.

“What else was I supposed to think, Y/N?” Bucky asked, his voice devoid of all anger now. All he wanted was to understand, to go back to what they had. He did not want to fight with her. He did not want to be mad at her.

She turned around to face him once more. “I was afraid for you.” She took a few steps closer so that once again they were chest to chest with just mere inches between them.

Usually, such proximity unnerved Bucky. He was not still used to it. Yet, right now, he was so mesmerized by the emotions warring in her eyes to even think about putting distance between them. “What?” he asked, not fully comprehending what she meant.

“You walk into battle like you are immortal...like you’d never be hurt,” she whispered laying a gentle hand on his cheek. The few hours’ stubble prickled her but she didn’t care. He leaned into her touch subconsciously, craving her as he always seemed to. “But you’re human, Bucky. Stronger than most but still human,” she continued. “Do you know what it was like for me, to get that phone call in the middle of the night? To see you hurt? To know that there might be nothing I could do to save you?”

He didn’t answer. There was nothing he could say anyway.

“You mean so, so much to me,” she said, and her words set his heart racing with hope and anticipation. So much so that she could probably feel it, as close as they were to each other. “I don’t know if I could ever be okay with you being so reckless with yourself. I don’t know if I would survive a minute while you are away at some mission, not knowing when or if you’d come back,” she sobbed gently, looking down at her feet, unable to let him see so much vulnerability anymore.

Bucky gently cupped her face and made her look at him. It was imperative that he had her full attention for what he had to say. “I wish I could be someone else, too. Someone safe. Someone normal. Some nights, I can’t sleep. I stay up thinking of what could happen to you when I am not there. Mostly though, the thought that tortures me the most is what if something happens to you because of me? I wish I could stay away from you. That would be the right thing to do. The safe thing.”

“Then why don’t you?” she whispered.

Bucky smiled. Even in such a heartbreaking moment, she was not going to let him off easy. She wanted the words. Who was he to deny her? “I love you, Y/N.”

He waited with bated breath for her to return the words but they didn’t come. She leaned in and kissed him instead.

She tasted as sweet as he imagined she would be. Things started off innocently enough, but soon her hands were tangled in his hair, pulling, demanding, and his were grabbing her by the hips trying to be as close as they could physically be.

He walked her back to her desk and she found herself half sitting, and half wrapped around his hips. She wondered why she was not more awkward or cautious about it but whatever that was happening with him right now, felt like an ancient dance they were both aware of. When he unbuttoned her top, she turned her face, giving him access to her neck. When she reached for the bottom of his t-shirt, he raised his arms allowing her to lift it off him barely even breaking their kiss.

Skin to skin, they were all deft movements and sensations. When Bucky plunged into her in one stroke, she held on to his shoulders seeking something just beyond her reach. He wanted her to find it too. One hand held her head, cradled, while the other slipped between them to her center, coaxing her to fall apart in his arms.

There was no sweet slow lovemaking. It was fast, hard, and urgent – both of them seeking confirmation in the other. When she came around him, screaming his name, he let go and allowed himself to come hard within her.

Later, they held on to each other, coming down from the high, half-dressed and half not. She hid her face in the crook of his neck. “Just so you know,” she said, in between trying to catch her breath, “Sex is not the answer to everything.”

He chuckled. “Well no,” he agreed. “Sex is the question, and yes should always be the answer.”

Smiling, she pushed back on his chest to look up at him. “I’m serious though. We haven’t really worked out...”

“Y/N,” he interrupted her. “I have been on the wrong side of history for far too long. Whatever I can do to even the scale... I have to do this. This is who I am. I wish I could promise you ‘safe’ but I can’t. All I have is myself. I can promise to try and be careful, to be better at it but this is what my life is. I could be walking down the street and get hit by a bus for all I know.”

“Except you’d be running towards a freaking train head on every time you are away,” she pointed out.

“All I know, is that I love you. All I can promise you is that I’d try better at being more careful,” he told her solemnly. What was unsaid was that she could either have him as he was, or she could choose to ignore all that was between them out of fear.

She wanted to be mad at him, but was this not why she loved him in the first place? Hydra tried to break everything out of him and yet, his conviction and sense of duty remained, dormant for a while, but still there.

“Alright,” she whispered, agreeing. “For the record, I love you too, Sergeant Barnes,” she said dragging him down for a kiss.

Things weren’t perfect. Things weren’t all planned out. Yet, she was his and he was hers. They had been each other’s for longer than either of them even knew...and that was all they needed. His past was still his past. Her fear was still in her heart. Neither of them were naïve enough to think that love would conquer all, but they were brave enough to try. It was enough. It was all they had, and it was enough.

The End.

[thecupcakeconsumer]

The Numbers Don’t Count

JILY CHALLENGE | @thecupcakeconsumer vs. @prongsfoots

Social Media AU Theme: “shoot, i was stalking you on Instagram and accidentally liked a photo from 235 weeks ago”

Notes: Why is this up early? Well, that totally has nothing to do with my procrastinating on math and english and history homework... featuring it’s an AU so I’ll change whatever I like.

The time, her clock read, was 1:37AM – exactly four hours and twenty-three minutes before the same phone that she held in her hand would blast the same alarm as the default tone and she'd moan loudly, trying to turn it off without opening her eyes to the bright, unwelcome light.

Of course, Lily Evans was a little too busy stalking James Potter on Instagram for it to really register.

His account went years back and it seemed as though he'd never deleted anything – not even, she was finding, the photos of him before he'd started to transition.

She couldn't help it – his account was public and he was cute.

He'd been tagged in the most recent picture of their mutual friend Remus Lupin, and here she was, her curiosity having led her to a picture of the pre-transition boy and Sirius Black with the caption “More than friends? Never – we're both too gay.”

She lingered a little too long, and froze when the familiar heart was filled in with red.

“Oh, no,” whispered Lily. “No, no, no no no.”

It was bad enough that she'd been stalking him.

Now, she'd liked a picture from – what was that date? - March 24, 2013.

Four and a half years ago.

As if that wasn't bad enough, it was of him pre-transition: she'd look like a jerk.

Mary and Marlene would either be asleep or out drinking if she texted them at this hour: thus, asking her friends for advice was out of the question.

Should she like every picture so she didn't look like a bitch? Or would that seem too stalkerish?

Would he even notice?

She scrolled up to the top of the screen: @deerestjamie had 254 followers, and was following 409.

Cool, cool, cool cool cool cool. He wouldn't notice one like out of more than three hundred photos, would he?

Obviously, the best solution was just to leave it be and stop stressing, she resolved, putting her phone on the charger and flipping around to turn away from it.

(And yet all twenty minutes it took her to get to sleep, she couldn't stop thinking about it.)

Light streamed in through the narrow opening between the curtains, a bird chirped outside, the fall day just barely cool enough that one could wear a sweater or a t-shirt – of course, none of this mattered to the iPhone whose alarm was about as welcome to its owner as a sheep in heat would have been that morning.

“Oh my God,” murmured Lily, blindly fumbling for her phone and begrudgingly opening her eyes, her relief at managing to turn it off eclipsed by the Instagram notification – a DM from @siriuslyy.

She opened it, and was met with nothing more than “(ง'̀-'́)ง".

“Yeah, real eloquent, Black,” murmured Lily, before realizing there was also a screenshot that seemed to be taken from James's account of her having liked his picture, the only notification for the entire day.

Well, shit.

“Wait, why does Black have access to Potter's account?” murmured Lily, before shaking her head and rolling begrudgingly out of bed, deciding to address it after she got ready for work.

Sirius glared at his phone screen as he sat back on his chair during lunch, feet up on the break table even if he technically wasn't supposed to be lounging as such.

'I know you've seen this message Evans' he tapped out, sending the message, his lip curling when it registered as read almost immediately.

'Is it usual to have access to your best friend's Instagram?' came the sarcastic reply.

'There's nothing usual about us' Sirius answered, then adding, 'Is it usual to like a picture from over four years ago?'

A pause.

'Okay, listen.'

'Listening.'

Grabbing his water bottle off the table, Sirius easily opened it and started to drink, watching with slight amusement as she hesitated.

'I'll explain, but you can't tell James about this.'

'I can't control what the man does and doesn't notice.'

Not that James really would notice, considering almost a third of the pictures were posted by Sirius and he had turned notifications off so as to focus more on his work.

However, it wasn't as if anything would stop Sirius from standing up for James.

'Okay listen I stg I don't have a problem with his being trans – that's not why I was on his profile. Liking that photo was an accident.'

'Was being 3 years back on his profile an accident?'

Another pause, longer than the first.

'No?'

'Look, I have to go.'

And with that, he knew he'd lost her.

Damn.

He’d been having such fun.

“Hey, Lily,” greeted Remus, looking up from the book he was absorbed in when the bell at the door rung.

“Remus, your boyfriend is kind of an asshole.”

“Sirius? We know that by now, but since when do you know him?”

“You know he helps run James's Instagram?”

He blinked. “Since when do you know James? I mean, we all know by now that they're co-conspirators on about everything, but-”

“He was in your most recent picture. James, that is.”

Remus tilted his head to the side, as if trying to gauge what exactly Lily was on about, before realizing.

“You thought he was cute, didn't you?”

She flushed red.

“N-no, that's not what I – not that he isn't, but-” Remus smirked, which did nothing for her comprehensibility.

“I can't blame you, he's always been fairly attractive. Not my type, of course, but you wouldn't be the first who's fallen for him.”

“I did not fall for James Potter!” exclaimed Lily, flailing her arms and flinching when her hand hit one of the bookshelves in the small store. “Ow. Ow. What was I saying? Oh, right, I'm not falling for James Potter! Please. I don't even know the man.”

“Sure, sure, that's what they all say. You know, he's single?”

“He is?” asked Lily, before smacking herself internally when she realized by the way in which he only smiled wider that she'd managed to play herself. “Not that I care. That's great. Lots of people are single these days. Being single is the new being taken.”

“Played yourself, Evans. Now, what were you saying about Sirius? Wait, don't tell me.”

He put down his book on the counter, before walking around to the other side to examine her more closely. “You mentioned Instagram, and the fact that he's cute-”

“I did not-”

“Oh, please. What would Sirius have noticed, then? You know they both run his account, maybe you left a comment on a photo? No, you're that desperate… but stalking him?” Her involuntary twinge was all he needed. “You were stalking him and accidentally liked an old photo. Classic.”

“That's not fair,” murmured Lily, crossing her arms. “You're not allowed to come in here and smart-ass me-”

“Actually, you're the one who came in here, might I remind you. Not that you're unwelcome – it's been a while, hasn't it? And besides, you wear shame so well.”

“Remus!”

“Fine, fine. What do you want me to do about it?”

Her bottom lip jutted out. “I don't know. What am I supposed to do? Is he going to be upset?”

“Who?”

She raised her eyebrows as if it was obvious. “James?”

“Over… your liking one of his old pictures?” Lily nodded furiously. “James?”

“I don't know him!”

“Okay. Think of it this way. James is like the old man who sits in his chair reading the newspaper, and Sirius is like the overactive dog who barks at every disturbance.”

“So…?”

Remus shook his head with a laugh. “He's unlikely to even notice, and if he does he won't care, Lily. It's not a big deal. But – whatever you do – don't let him find out.”

“Because…?”

“Pretty girl like you stalking his Instagram? The man's ego is already big enough that it's a wonder he can fit through a door.”

She sighed in relief. “Oh, thank God. Thanks, Remus.”

“For?”

“For being the smart-ass you are.”

“Me? A smart-ass?” he asked in a bad impression of offense, subtly pulling out his phone and snapping a picture of her in the doorway, looking askance with a smile. “Why, I never.”

“Hey, Moon!” called out James as he entered the shared apartment, throwing his keys on the table and wincing when they fell short.

“James. Good day?”

He nodded, bending down to pick them up. “Great. Actually, work was pretty boring. Paperwork. Buuuut, I saw a cute girl today.”

“She work with you?” asked Remus conversationally.

“Nope!” answered James. “Actually, I didn't see her. Wait, no, that's not even true. I saw her, but like, not in person? I saw a picture of her, that is, taken in… what's your bookstore called again?”

“Lily?”

“No, no, that's not what it's – wait, is that her name?”

His friend smirked. “You know, I have her number.”

“You do?” asked James eagerly, wincing as his voice cracked on the last word. “Wait, seriously? You're not joking?”

“Do you want me to call her?”

“No!” He froze. “Wait, no. I mean, yes. I mean, maybe – you don't just call someone up. Aren't calls outdated? She probably has a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. Then again, being single's on the up-and-up again. It's like being single is the new being taken. What was I saying? Oh, right, Lily. Pretty name. Pretty girl. Okay, I'll call her.”

James pulled out his phone confidently, before stopping. “I don't have her number.”

“I know, James.”

“I'm sorry, I'm just nervous.”

“I know, James.” Remus held out the phone with a grin. “Here. It's ringing.”

“What?!” squeaked James, hurriedly taking it from him. “Remus, you don't just-”

“Hey Remus, called to torment me?”

Even her voice had him in love.

“This isn't Remus.”

“Is this Sirius? I swear to God going through your boyfriend to get to me is just low.”

“What? No! You know Sirius?”

“Wait, if it's not Sirius, then who is this?”

He grinned. “It's James.”

A dramatic pause, then, “I hate you, Remus.”

“Oi! I'm not Remus! That's offensive, he has no taste in men.”

“I'm right here,” piped up the man in question, but was quickly shushed.

“Aren't you friends with Sirius?”

“Doesn't mean I want to date the man. Anyway, Lily, Lily Lily Lily, what're you doing this Friday night?”

If Remus had been drinking tea, he might have spit it out.

“This Friday night? No plans.”

“Great. Want to go out with me?”

A high pitched squeak resounded on the other end of the line, making it hard for James to discern whether or not it was from the technology itself or from his contact.

“Er, Lily?”

“That depends. Does Sirius have access to your phone too?”

“Not too often.”

“Give me your number and I'll be ready at eight.”

Waggling his eyebrows at Remus, he quickly gave her the number, unable to stop the corners of his mouth from spreading.

“I have no clue when I became your wingman.”

“Oh, shut up, Remus, you know you love me.”

“And?”

“And I love you too, Remy-poo.”

James sloppily kissed Remus on the cheek with a wet smack, nothing able to dull his mood.

Not even when he walked into his own door and found it closed, hitting it head-on.

“Adoorable.”

“Quiet, Moony.”

[sorryimbeingapillaboutit]

Never Forget (Part 4) - Steve Rogers

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5

Steve Rogers x Reader

**I can’t do a summary on this one without spoiling everything. If you’ve read the first three parts then you know what’s going on. 

Word Count: 1503

Warnings: Language, angst.

A/N: Ok, I’ve had so much fun writing this! Thanks to all who have read it! Give me some feedback, too. I like hearing from you. Not my gif, credit to the owner.

“You guys only dated for two months - it’s not like you were engaged or anything.” Laurie sat with you on your couch, sharing a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream with you.

You nodded. “I know. It’s just that I was really falling for him, and I… I don’t know. I just miss him, that’s all.”

It had been a week since you and Steve went ‘on a break’.

“So, why don’t you just call him, then?” Laurie said, digging her spoon into the ice cream. “If you’re ‘on a break’ you can just end the break, right?”

“It’s not that simple,” you sighed, wishing it was. “He doesn’t want to be with me if I can’t handle him leaving all the time to save the world. And I don’t know if I can handle that. I mean, I love that we aren’t a super clingy couple, and I don’t want him up my butt all the time, but…” you sighed again. “I just want to see him. And I want to know that I’m a priority in his life.”

Laurie shook her head. “If you sigh again, I’m going to scoop your eyeballs out,” she joked, waving her spoon around before scooping some more ice cream in her mouth.

“Can we talk about something else?” you asked, and Laurie nodded.

After a moment of silence, your friend spoke up again. “So how was the sex?”

You nearly choked on your ice cream. “Excuse me?”

“The sex- with Captain America. How was it?” Laurie pressed, raising a brow. “He’s a super soldier, sex with him must have been super.”

“I wouldn’t know,” you said, and it was Laurie’s turn to be surprised.

“You never fucked him?”

“No,” you said, leaning back against the couch cushions. “We were taking things slow, and… and we never really had an opportunity to. Even if we did, he’d probably have to leave halfway through,” you laughed at the thought.

“Ew,” Laurie laughed, scrunching her nose up in disgust. She shook her head for a moment. “Do you think you’ll ever see him again?” She asked, setting her spoon on the coffee table.

“I don’t know, maybe,” you said, shrugging. “I miss him like crazy, but if the world is always going to come first, I just don’t think I can be with him.”

Laurie, for once, didn’t have a comment. But she looked like she did, like she was holding something back. “What?” you asked, noticing this.

She shook her head, giving you a tight-lipped smile. “Nothing,” she said.

You gave her an incredulous look. “It’s not nothing- what is it?” you asked.

Laurie let out a huff of breath, and looked at you like you were an idiot. “I just think you’re being stupid. You’re crazy about this guy, and duh, his job is going to come before you. It’d be different if he were a lawyer or a teacher, but he’s a superhero, Y/N. It’s not like he can just let aliens invade Earth or whatever he protects us from.”

“You don’t think I know that?” you said, all of sudden feeling very defensive about this whole thing. Who was she to judge you? Tell you that you were being stupid? “You don’t think I’ve thought about that, and felt guilty about thinking I was more important than his job?” You stood up, slamming the lid back on the ice cream.

“If you were really guilty about it, you’d be okay with him leaving all the time,” Laurie pointed out, her voice calm and cool compared to yours.

“Shut up!” your voice raised as you tossed the ice cream onto the coffee table. “You don’t know how it is- you don’t know what it’s like to be completely into this guy who always has to leave. Always.”

“Look, I get it,” Laurie said, standing up and grabbing her purse. “But you’re being selfish. Steve has a job to do, and you should appreciate the time you get with him and stop dwelling on the fact that he’s not around twenty-four seven. And, do you know what I would give to have what you and Steve have? I’ve seen the way you look at each other. No one has ever looked at me like that.” She scoffed. “I get why you’re mad. But don’t take it out on me.” She dug her keys out of her bag.

“Laurie, wait-”

“Call me when you’re done acting crazy,” she said, rolling her eyes before walking out the door.

This wasn’t like you - blowing up on Laurie and acting all self-centered with Steve. You weren’t like that, right? You kept your anger under control and you didn’t let doubt run your life, but… But something happened over the last few months and now, things were different. You were different.

You got a text two weeks after your fight with Laurie. It was from Steve.

I left my copy of the catcher in the rye at your place. Can I come get it, and I will give you back your key also?

-Steve

You couldn’t help but smile. He always ended his texts with his name, even though you always told him he didn’t need to. That people receiving messages from him would know it was him. He was such a dork sometimes.

You were at work when you received it, so you quickly typed back a reply.

Yes. I get off at 8. Anytime after then will be fine.

The past few weeks had been rough. You hadn’t talked to Laurie or Steve, and your heart hurt without both of them. You spent a lot of time watching reruns of your favorite TV show, and the amount of ice cream eaten had been a lot more than usual. You missed Laurie. You missed laughing with her about the stupid things you did in high school and going through each other’s clothes and talking about everything with her. You didn’t have anyone to vent to.

And, more than anything, you missed Steve. You missed the electricity between the two of you when you touched, and the way his lips seemed to fit into yours like puzzle pieces.  You missed how you didn’t even have to go out with him- the two of you could just relax on your couch and be totally content. You missed those baby blue eyes, with so much history in them. You missed him so much.

Maybe Laurie was right. Maybe the little bit of time you got with Steve was enough. Maybe you could deal with him always running off, as long as he came back to you.

Fuck, you thought, shoving your phone back into your pocket as you made your way through the housewares department. Was I wrong all along?

The rest of your shift seemed to drag on. Like the universe knew that you wanted to leave, so it slowed time down just for kicks.

You nearly got a ticket driving back to your apartment.

Your bag slung over your shoulder, your hair disheveled from a long day at work, your half-eaten sandwich in a plastic bag. You were a sore sight, and all you wanted was to see Steve. You knew what you had to do - apologize, and kiss and make up.

Everything would be alright.

You opened the door, expecting to see Steve on the other side. Instead, you were met with the darkness of your apartment, empty of anyone that could bring you happiness again. After setting your bag down, you noticed something on the table by the door. A note, with the key you’d given Steve sitting on top.

Y/N,

This past month has been hell without you. But you haven’t made any move to contact me, no signs that you want to make this work. So I have to give up, right? If there’s really no way I could change your mind, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. I lived this long without you. I can do it again.

I can’t guarantee that you’ll be number one on my list. The world needs me, Y/N, and I can’t just back down from anything threatening the safety of this planet. SHIELD is my job, and I can’t quit on them. But once all that is said and done, I promise, you will be my number one girl.

If you are willing to try again with me, give me a call. If not, well, I’ll be sad, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

- Cap (Steve)

All the emotions that you’d had built up over the past month or so just sort of collapsed, and soon your eyes flooded with tears. You couldn’t help it. Things were horrible with Laurie, and you missed Steve like crazy. But he wanted you. And you wanted him, more than anything. Things were different with him than with any other guy you’d dated. He was different. He was special.

You didn’t even bother pulling yourself together before dialing his number.

Tags:

@whiskeyandwashitape @thelostswan

[tomhollandsspiderbite-blog]

Caught in a Web (Ch. 3)

Pairing: Peter Parker/Spiderman x OC

Word Count: 2,103

Warnings: Swearing, mention of blood, shirtless Peter

A/N: Please let me know what you guys think! Also, feel free (and please do) to drop something in my ask box! Whether it be a question, comment, or a request for an imagine or something, I’d be happy to answer or write something for you! Thanks Loves!

SCARLETT

Six days and eight bloody knuckles later, I'm still not talking to Peter. I've been hanging with Spiderman and punching the punching bags in the training room, I haven't given Peter Parker much thought…

I wake up to the sound of an alarm going off, realizing that it's my alarm clock on my phone. I've stayed at the Tower for the past week, doing everything I can to avoid Peter. While I do enjoy the large, spacious Stark Tower, I miss my little apartment… And Peter. And Ned. And everything we used to do together. Getting our usual's at Delmar's after school three times a week and eating them on the roof mine and Peter's apartment building. I miss the laughs and sweet moments Peter and I shared. I miss him holding me in his arms when he rushes in because I was screaming from a nightmare.

I check my messages and realize I have one from Aunt May. And that's what broke me.

'Scarlett, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I need you to come talk to Peter. Please… Talk through your issues and make up with him. He's been mopey since you started ignoring him and it's really depressing around here. He barely eats, he sleeps a lot, he holes himself up in his room all the time and won't talk to me. All I know is what I know from Ned. Please Scarlett, I love both of you. You've been inseparable since you were little. I'm sure you can get through this problem together, right? Xoxo, May."

I love Aunt May like she's part of the family. That's why I decided to call Peter.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Peter's number (He's number 5 on speed dial). The phone rang and rang and rang… No answer.

I didn't bother to leave a voice message. I guess I'll have to wait until I get to school to talk to him.

I walk to the bathroom and take a shower, then get dressed in black skinny jeans, red converse, and a green off-the-shoulder shirt, layering a black tank and sports bra underneath. I apply some light make-up (my dad is old-fashioned and won't let me wear much. Not that I want to anyways. Just enough to hide a few blemishes). Just some skin tone evener, light blush, mascara, and a thin line of eyeliner flicking up into a small wing on my eyelids. I pull my hair into a high pony tail and slide on a few bracelets, one being the charm bracelet Peter got me for my birthday last year.

I check the clock and realize I only have 20 minutes until I have to be at school.

"Shit!" I exclaim and run downstairs to the kitchen, grab a piece of toast and an apple, and rush out the door.

As I rush out the front doors of the building, a familiar red and blue suit stands in front of me.

"Hey Spidey. Sorry, can't talk. I have to get to school." I say quickly and try to get around him.

"Let me give you a lift. I have to go to school too. Midtown, actually." He explains.

"Wait, you go to Midtown?!" I practically yell. His hand comes up and covers my mouth.

"Don't be so loud. Yes, I go to Midtown. I'm only sixteen. This whole Spiderman thing is only a… part-time thing." He says in a hushed tone.

"We'll talk more later. We're going to be late." I state and he tells me to hold on tight and we swing from roof to roof, making it to school in about seven minutes.

PETER

After Scarlett rushes inside, I change into my civilian clothes and rush to my locker to get my History textbook. But I didn't expect what I was going to see.

"Hey, Parker…" The fiery red-head said slowly.

"Scarlett…" I say, my voice just above a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you… I miss you Peter. These past few weeks have been awful without you… I've been sparring with Bucky or punching a bag almost every night because I was driven crazy. I needed to get you off my mind. Sparring with the help of a friend's adventures around New York made it possible. I thought not thinking of you would make it easier to leave… But I realize now that I don't want to leave you. I just needed some time to think. I'm sorry Peter. I overreacted. I just… I just want you to tell me what's going on." She had grabbed both my hand lightly in hers as she spoke.

"Scarlett… I've missed you too." That's all I could say. I was just so happy I had my best friend back.

Taking advantage of her grip on my hands, I pull back, letting her fall into me as I wrap her in a hug. Not too long after, I feel her sobbing, her arms holding me tighter. I stroke the back of her hair, then pull away.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I look into her eyes and ask her gently.

"I've just missed you so much and was scared that you wouldn't forgive me for shutting you out…I thought I would have lost you." She explained through tears.

I hold her face in my hands and wipe away a tear with my thumb. "You will never lose me Scar. I promise."

She nods her head and reaches in for another hug. I welcome her with open arms and kiss the top of her head. "It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay." I say to myself more than her.

The tardy bell rings and we break apart. She quickly wipes away the rest of her tears and we split ways and go to class. I shoot her a quick text before I enter class.

'Meet me in your room after school. I'll tell you my secret then. X'

'Okay. Delmar's first? I haven't had a usual since I left.'

'Ha-ha, sure. Delmar's, then your place.'

I shove my phone in my pocket and enter class, mentally preparing myself for the scolding I was about to get from Mr. Hanson.

SCARLETT

I put my phone away and enter the art room, apologizing for being late. My art teacher, Mrs. Lancer, and I are somewhat close. She knows about Peter and me and how I've been living at my uncle's house in order to avoid him. She knows sometimes the traffic can be tricky so she excuses my tardiness with a smile and all she does (so the other students don't think she's favoriting people) is tell me that instead of my sketch being due tomorrow, it's due at the end of class today. No big deal, honestly. All I have to do is add some shading and it's done.

I silently work on my sketch as I listen to some smooth jazz through my earbuds which are connected to the phone my uncle Tony built. Spiderman has the same style phone I do except he has Karen and his is red and not green like mine. Pascal is programmed into my phone so everywhere I go, Pascal is with me. He talks to me sometimes through whatever system I have. But I always tune him out when I'm trying to work. He does like to take control of my playlist sometimes, just to mess with me. He'll throw in some Black Veil Brides while I'm listening to Louis Armstrong. Quite the personality, I must say. I don't mind though. He keeps me on my toes.

The bell for the end of first period rings and I turn in my drawing. It's a black and white sketch of the New York skyline from the top of Stark Tower. I got inspiration from one of the many times Spiderman took me up there to see the sunset. The time when I was living at the tower and we stayed up on the roof for about three hours just talking. He put his arm around me and I rested my head on his chest and we lied down, gazing up at the stars until I was interrupted by a text from my dad telling me to get home and go to sleep.

The school day is finally over and I get a text from Peter.

'Hey, go ahead and get Delmar's without me. I'll me you at your apartment at 4 ok?' It read.

I sigh and reply to him: 'Yeah okay. See you then...'

I head over to Delmar's and make small talk with Mr. Delmar for a little bit while my order is being prepped. I thank Mr. Delmar and head to my apartment and wait for Peter in my room.

I constantly check my clock and watch. 4:00… 4:15…5:30…7:45… the hours go by waiting for Peter and he never shows up.

Around 8:30 I hear a weak knocking on my window and see Spiderman, hunched over, gripping his side. I hurry to open the window and help him in.

"What happened to you?!" I say in shock as I lay quickly cover my bed with a sheet and help him lay down. "This looks bad, hold tight okay? I'm gonna patch you up." I say quickly, giving him a squeeze on his hand and then running to the supply closet to get my emergency medical kit.

I hear him groaning in pain as I enter the room. "Scarlett…please…" He says through his teeth.

"I know, I know… this is going to hurt a little bit. I'm sorry." I pour some water over the gashes on his side. I look up at his mask-covered face and see some blood coming from the side of his head. "Your head!" I exclaim. I reach over and have him turn his head slightly. Part of the mask had been torn and all I can see is curly brown locks, soaked with blood.

"Scarlett… do you need me to take my mask off?" he asks.

"If you're okay with me finding out who you are, then yes. I need to make sure your head's okay." I reply thoughtfully.

He shakes his head lightly up and down and then reaches to unmask himself. He grimaces a little at his movement because of his side, the stretching of his muscles. I stop tending his side wounds when I realize who the boy was behind the mask… my best friend, Peter fucking Parker.

"Peter!?" I exclaim, making him flinch.

"Hey, Scar." He says quietly with a smile. "Surprise."

"Peter Parker… is Spiderman… Spiderman is Peter Parker… Peter Parker is my best friend… I'm best friends with Spiderman…" I say in shock to myself. I turn to Peter. Slapping his shoulder, I freak out a bit. "How could you not tell me Parker?!"

"Ow! Hey!" He says, putting his hands up in defense. "Scarlett I'm sorry I wanted to. I really did. But then I found out you were Cap's daughter and Tony Stark was your uncle and I just didn't want you to get hurt trying to protect me – don't even try to fight that statement, you know you would – and I couldn't bear knowing that I let Captain America's daughter, and my best friend, get hurt because of me. Not only would that kill me, but your dad would kill me." He explains as I clean the wound on his head.

"You're unbelievable, you know that Parker?" I laugh, all anger towards him vanishing as he looks at me with his doe like brown eyes.

"But you love me anyways." He states matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I do. You're my best friend. I'm kinda stuck with you." I tease. "Now you gotta take off that suit so I can tend to the rest of your wounds. What happened anyways?" I tell him.

He presses the spider decal on the front of his suit and it goes slack. He slowly takes it off, wincing in pain the entire time. I help his take it off the rest of the way and set it on my desk chair. All he's wearing now is a pair of boxers. I hesitate with the cleaning alcohol and cloth pad as I take in how fit he is. He's got a nice set of abs, his arms are covered in pure muscle, and his chest is smooth and strong. I can feel my cheeks glowing a light pink but I quickly snap out of it when my eyes scan over the two gashes on his side.

[monstermash]

cassianbodhi

unfortunate backstory for this message is me pleading u to send it to me so i can dump my hcs somewhere but lets disregard that for now

1- Who is the most affectionate? !! i feel like probably bodhi bc cassian is a little bit distant from affection at first bc everyone hes ever loved has gone in some way or another but they’re both pretty gd touch starved at this point so there is so much snuggling and eventually cassian warms up to pda a little bit more2-Big spoon/Little spoon? bodhi is almost always the big spoon even tho he’s 2″ shorter than cass bc he likes to be comforting and wrap himself around him. jetpack ur bros3-Most common argument? both of them are.. kinda bad when it comes to self worth n personal love and all that so if they ever argue its kinda along the lines of “cassian jeron andor listen to me you are so worthwile and important and i love you” or one of them being very reckless on a mission and the other getting angry 4-Favorite non-sexual activity? they like playing cards together, and sometimes cassian reads before bed and bodhi wiggles up to lay next to him and read over his shoulder spooned behind him5-Who is most likely to carry the other? cassian ends up carrying bodhi to bed a lot because he’ll just not sleep for a while and then pass the hell out in the middle of the mess hall and cassians like.. well here we go again and hauls him off to bed6-What is their favorite feature of their partner’s? bodhi’s favorite thing about cassian: all of his jackets but also his Smilecassian’s favorite thing abt bodhi: his hair ?? its amazing he has a Thing for bodhis hair 7-What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other? well im feelin like bodhi realizes hes kinda in love w cassian some time after scarif and then just spur of the moment kisses him? so thats the main first change is bam okay they’re kissing now8-Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate? someone i follow uses Bode as a nickname for bodhi which i think is hella cute in like a modern au or smth. bodhi calls cassian Cass a lot just as a quick abbreviation but also captain and sometimes other people call bodhi “your pilot” around cassian and he accidentally picked that up9-Who worries the most? its bodhi no question10-Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? bodhi has a notebook full of things he needs to remember that he keeps in his bag or pocket at all times and it includes cassian’s standard coffee and food orders just in case11-Who tops? you fools... the strict top/bottom dichotomy is oppressing us all.. 12-Who initiates kisses? already answered13-Who reaches for the other’s hand first? bodhi is the #1 hand holding champion of the resistance so he’s into that 14-Who kisses the hardest? depends on the situation i think, after a mission they do have some intense “oh my god we made it out holy shit i love you so much” kisses, or sometimes if cassian has to do a mission w/o bodhi (or vice versa) they can barely make it out of the ship before the other is over there kissin them15-Who wakes up first? cassian is a really oddly early riser when he doesnt need to be and sometimes for meetings. plus he wakes up early w nightmares and stuff sometimes and likes to just lay in bed w bodhi there until he calms down16-Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? both of them i think.. bodhi Never wants to get up bc in the empire they were pretty strict abt that stuff 17-Who says I love you first? already answered18-Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?) ok im talkin abt my college au here bc im uncontrollable but like. some days cassian has classes and bodhi doesn’t and bodhi makes him lunch every once in a while before test days or whatever and he always puts in a little note that’s like “you’ve got this!! i believe in you!! you can’t have your zepplin shirt back until you focus and do your readings tonight 19-Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first? assuming we’re going w a modern au in which either of them has family to speak of, i’d say bodhi in his weekly call to his mom to chat he’s like “hey mom i have a boyfriend!! he’s cute and has nice hair but he’s bad at making jokes”20-What do their family/friends think of their relationship? bodhi’s mom is totally fine w it and so is his sister, cassian’s parents are kinda weird abt it at first but mostly bc his last relationship was really weird so they’d question it no matter who he was dating. but, they trust this bodhi kid and think if anyone has to date cassian it should be them21-Who is more likely to start dancing with the other? bodhi doesn’t think hes a good dancer.. at all but he’s fairly ok but cassian is.... a really good dancer and this is totally inspired by the film dirty dancing havana nights which i still havent seen but he’s a good dancer but doesnt dance much so bodhi’s really surprised but then some nights they sneak into the mess hall when they can’t sleep and they dance because its good for emotional release and theres space down there

22-Who cooks more/who is better at cooking? theyre both pretty good cooks but cassian cooks more bc it reminds him of what little he remembers of home23-Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines? bodhi googles them because he thinks hes funny and he keeps them in his notebook24-Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?25-Who needs more assurance? both of them rlly? like bodhi’s been thru some shit and so has cassian and theyre both kinda insecure and not the best at positivity abt themselves so they both need a lot of reassurance abt things26-What would be their theme song? hmmm either in our bedroom after the war by stars, or you are a runner and i am my fathers son by wolf parade27-Who would sing to their child back to sleep? cassian definitely..28-What do they do when they’re away from each other? they try to keep busy but they definitely send transmissions as much as possible to keep in touch29-one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart. yknow. what happens in canon is enough for me lol30-one headcanon about this OTP that mends it. they have a lot of rituals after scarif for when one or both of them can’t sleep for any number of reasons, sometimes they’ll sneak out to this big hill near the base and look at the stars, or they’ll play cards (bodhi’s teaching cassian some tricks, but cass is fairly sure they arent good tricks and theyre making him lose), or cassian will tell bodhi about galactic history and run his fingers through his hair until eventually the sun rises or they fall back asleep