#nah they are too pure ugh gross

[pageofheartdj]

That awkward moment when you are like 'AM i lesbian?' but then you remember lesbian community and you just 'ah no gotta figure out what else can i be'.

[arhvste]

❝ kuroo tetsurō - wedding hcs ❞

tetsu week masterlist

-> nothing over the top

-> you guys agreed upon a modest wedding with the relevant family and friends invited

-> by that i mean you guys don’t bother with inviting far extended family and friends of friends because you guys shouldn’t have to waste your budget feeding people y’all rarely talk to

-> also kuroo doesn’t like his 3rd cousin so he just didn’t invite the whole extended tree

-> it’s a pretty traditional wedding like y’all really don’t add any unecessary features to it

-> like 3 water fountains at the front of the entrance might look nice but there’s a good chance someone bokuto will end up in it somehow so it got scratched off the list

-> anywho

-> your wedding is immaculate because your mans considered everything down to a t

-> of course he took on board everything you said you wanted to include

-> he’s heavily involved in the planning and has pinterest downloaded on his phone too

-> making a romantic playlist for your s/o? nah

-> making a pinterest board for your s/o 😎

-> lowkey y’all get followers on pinterest just because your board is ugh chefs kiss

-> so you guys have a spring wedding because it’s not too hot or too cold

-> also the weather is good enough to hold plthe ceremony outside

-> you know who actually helps you find a good venue?

-> akaashi

-> the mans in the shoujo manga dept he’s gonna know what a good wedding scene looks like

-> so he recommends this pretty place by a river and temple in the distance

-> thank you akaashi, very helpful 😼

-> seeing as the place you guys hold the ceremony is already quite natural and has a nice colour palette to it, you guys don’t go overboard with flowers

-> of course you’ll have some white flowers and soft tones of any other colour flowers you think suit

-> kuroo insists on using your fav flower as the most dominant one

-> in reality he’s just trying to show off to you the fact that even after all these years, he still knows your fav things like flowers off by heart

-> ceo of simps 🤩

-> no it’s actually very cute he remembers and insists upon the small detail being included

-> overall though your decorations are really pretty?

-> like they’re not too in your face they’re just very delicate and dainty 😼

-> as for food, i’m gonna leave that for you guys to imagine because idk if y’all have allergies or religious rules you have to follow etc

-> but just know kuroo’s having the menu made exactly how you want it

-> as long as there’s some form of mackerel on there

-> so back onto your actual wedding day

-> kuroo is NERVOUS

-> he’s marrying the love of his life !!!

-> and he will cry 😜

-> he has no idea what you look like but he’s gonna cry because you’re going to look ethereal

-> okay i know everyone hcs that he would wear some red suit or something

-> but he’s wearing a black and white formal one,, i said what i said 😌

-> and this is purely because this means it can’t clash with your own colour scheme

-> what a considerate husband 😎

-> so when the time comes for him to see you his hands are sweaty asf

-> i just know sakusa is somewhere in the audience cringing because his gross spidey senses are going off

-> his little leg is shaking up and down cause like damn

-> can this old man just shush and get to the part where you walk down the aisle?? he’s missed you all day 😾

-> ugh finally everyone is standing up to welcome you and kuroo is already tearing up

-> his breath hitches from the moment you’re in his eyesight

-> y/n, luv, YOURE SO HOT

-> kuroo is all 🥺😖🤩🥰

-> while he’s taking in your appearance the world just kinda stops for him

-> well actually it gets a little closer because you’re his world duh

-> but he’s never seen someone so breathtaking

-> is this legal?? are you about to cut of his oxygen supply??

-> when you finally get to the front of the alter and stand right in front of him he swears he could die happy

-> he has waited so long to officially make you his

-> and now you’re finally standing here about to take his last name

-> he takes your hand into his and is relieved to feel yours are a little sweaty too

-> ugh you guys are so happy and nervous

-> the whole time the priest is talking neither of you are really listening because wow

-> you’re both finally here together

-> all kuroo can focus on is you

-> and vice versa

-> when the time comes, his vows are stuttered out at first but he grows more confident as you give him a pure and genuine smile

-> “i knew you were the one after you asked me for my homework answers right before class back in our second year 😌”

-> your second year home room teacher and close friend sat somewhere in the audience : 👁👄👁

-> “you were so cute. had i of known that letting you cheat on the homework would’ve led us here i would’ve let you cheat way before so we could’ve met sooner”

-> kuroo is cute but he’s just straight up snaking you up for your lack of homework in your second year

-> you’re like ‘stop talking 😀’

-> overall his vows are very cliche and he has some bad jokes littered in there too but that’s what makes it so him

-> y/n, luv, yours aren’t much better though because they’re just as cheesy

-> that’s okay though because they’re still cute

-> kenma will be gagging behind the two of you while y’all display your affection 😜

-> so when kuroo finally allowed to kiss you he doesn’t told back

-> he’s just made you his officially if you think he’s going in for a shy peck you’re wrong

-> mans a lil stiff but he’s going to the whole arm under back and dip

-> everyones too excited to care over how over the top it is though

-> anyways, your food

-> it was immaculate because your man is getting you nothing but the best

-> and as for your cake

-> kuroo tries to do that thing where he swipes buttercream on your nose to be all cute

-> but he miscalculates his angles and got it in your eye 🤩

-> that’s okay though because you get him back by swiping a handful in his face

-> don’t worry, the baker knew this would happen

-> so there’s a spare layer to make up for the one you kinda ruined

-> ugh your baker came in clutch 🤑

-> anyways onto your first dance

-> kuroo steps on your feet a handful of times 😖

-> he’s lowkey embarrassed but your footwork isn’t amazing either so he feels a little better

-> i’m not calling you guys bad dancers

-> you’re both just still so in shock that you’re really married now 🥺

-> the whole dance is just a little teary eyed as he whispers how much he loves you and how happy you’ve made him while you dance

-> the less tearful dances occur after you’re all done though

-> the whole night people are stealing the two of you away from each other to congratulate the two of you and dance and drink with you all etc

-> the whole time spent with your family and friends is so nice and just fulfilling??? 😌

-> by the end of it though you just want to be in your husbands arms alone

-> and that’s exactly what kuroo grants as soon as the last of your guests leave

-> he carries you bridal style to the car waiting outside for the two of you

-> “tetsu, i can walk”

-> “we just got married arent i allowed to carry you as such? 😿”

-> and with that the two of you are driving off into the night to the 5 star hotel you’re staying at

-> listen, i know it’s been a long day for the two of you and you guys are probably tired

-> but you’re not tired enough not to give him one last wedding gift 👀

-> it it just so happens that this is his favourite one 😼

dt - @aislastetsu

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @dear-kozume @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @tsukkaria @kuxredere @warakou @mattsuny @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake @waitforitillwritemywayout

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[sokkasangel]

you suck

bucky barnes x reader

summary: bucky & you always had an affectionate friendship. even your teammates thought you had a thing. but you always thought it was flirting; but to bucky it was just a friendship.

warnings: angst & harsh language

word count: 2k

a/n: this is actually two requests mashed into one! ( @drunkbucky & @cap-n-stuff-main )

masterlist

“hey, sexy,” you called out as bucky passed you. he walked through the kitchen, shirtless. he had just finished training & was now heading to the elevators to go up & take a shower.

“hey, beautiful,” he returned. “how’s your morning so far?”

“oh, y’know. just eatin’ some fruit.” you leaned over the counter, pushing your bowl towards the soldier. “want some?”

“nah, i don’t wanna share that fork with you,” he teased.

you both knew full well that you had shared food more times than you could count. this was no exception.

he leaned toward you & let you feed him a slice of pineapple from your fork.

“you two are gross.” wanda pushed past bucky, heading to her room.

“yeah, i don’t understand why you two don’t just date,” vision said as he followed wanda.

this was a regular occurrence: the team butting in & asking what the status of your guys’ relationship.

you & bucky had always been close, constantly flirting & teasing beyond friendly boundaries. flirting was your way of... well, flirting.

but flirting with bucky had the complete opposite meaning. maybe it was because he didn’t understand why anyone would want to be near him, let alone date him. or maybe it was because it had been such a long time since he last flirted with a woman.

either way, your guys’ relationship was the pure definition of mixed signals.

you yearned for bucky to one day take your compliments seriously. whenever you two were sitting on the couch together, far too close to be friends, you’d die for him to turn to you & kiss you.

bucky was handsome & funny & so unbearably kind. his laugh was enough to drive you crazy. but when he called you beautiful or doll? oh my lord, your mind went crazy.

“y’know it’s been a year?” natasha’s voice rang through your room as you rummaged through your closet.

“since what?”

“since you & bucky started going all we’re-dating-but-not-really.”

“why bring that up? & what am i looking for again?” you turned back to your friend, who had taken this time to rearrange your stuffed animals from smallest to biggest.

“i bring it up because it’s clear that you drool whenever he walks in the room. i can just tell your heart rate spikes when he says something.” natasha placed a stuffed duck next to a bear. “& you’re looking for a bomb ass outfit to wear today when you finally confess your feelings to bucky.”

“but i don’t want to~” you whined. “plus, what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“trust me, babe. i’ve known this man for years. he’s stubborn, but i just know he’s head-over-heels for you. don’t worry.”

—

with help from your red-headed friend, you were dressed in an outfit that brought out both your eyes & your curves. you felt confident & ready. you were going to confess your feeling to bucky. it was now or never.

you took the elevator down from the bedrooms to the training center. you walked down the hall, past glass-walled rooms, which were separated by different activities & equipment. making your way down to the boxing ring, you could hear two familiar voices.

“so how do you feel about her?” a rough voice echoed from the last room down the hall. you recognized this as steve’s voice.

“i dunno,” bucky’s voice reached your ears.

oooo~! now you can get reassurance that natasha was right about bucky’s feelings. it felt like ages since bucky started talking; your body was filled with excitement. you couldn’t wait until what he would say about you.

“i mean, don’t get me wrong, i like flirting with her, but it feels wrong,” bucky continued.

your eyes widened.

what?

“whaddya mean, buck? i see the way you look at her. it reminds me of rose & you, back in the day.”

“i just feel bad for her, y’know? i don’t want her to think her flirting is unrequited.” bucky’s voice was softer. you could hear a tinge of sadness, even.

but what?

feel bad for me?

who does he think he is?

so he’s been faking it this whole time? all those compliments & jokes didn’t mean anything?

you wanted to blame natasha for giving you false hope, but you could only blame yourself.

he was bucky barnes. the infamous heartbreaker. sure, he hadn’t been called that since the forties, but do people really change? he’d been through hell & now his self image was horribly damaged but that still makes him a heartbreaker. steve has said multiple times how bucky wouldn’t want to be in a relationship. why did you think you’d be the girl who’d change him?

you had given yourself false hope. for an entire year. you lied to yourself. “maybe tomorrow,” you had said. each night, you hoped bucky would sneak to your bedroom & confess himself. & of course it never happened...

tears welled up in your eyes. you couldn’t stay here. you couldn’t keep listening. you tried to escape silently, but a sob left your mouth as the tears streamed down your cheeks.

you heard the two men mutter in confusion, but before they could see how humiliating this was for you, you jumped on the elevator.

as soon as those doors opened, you fled to your bedroom. like a princess in a disney movie, you laid on your bed & cried. you cried until there was nothing left in you.

all the memories from the past year flooded your mind. hugs, movie marathons, & shared meals that meant so much in those moments now seemed like jokes in themselves. how stupid could you be?

—

the next few days were spent in your room & in pajamas. you told what had happened to clint & natasha, who apologized profusely. they continuously brought you comfort foods & consoling words.

when you did venture out into the kitchen & common areas, you ignored both steve & bucky. it was obvious why you stopped talking to bucky, but steve... you thought he was your friend, that he would at least tell you something that important. but instead, he let you continue to act like a fool.

—

on the fourth evening of your pity party, you spent your time in a ball on your bed watching all the movies on your watchlist.

you were actually paying attention to this one, but then a knock came to your door.

checking the time, you saw it was already well past midnight. who the hell was knocking this late?

begrudgingly, you left the comfort of your bed & opened the door. & of course the last person you wanted to see stood there.

bucky barnes was standing outside your door at two in the morning. if this happened a week ago, you’d be swooning. but now you wanted to go take a shower.

“h-hey,” bucky said. awkwardly, he waved shyly.

“hi.” you tried not to show too much emotion. you had been sad for long enough, now you were just angry.

“s-so what’s been going on? i haven’t, uh, seen you much lately.”

“yeah.”

“so, what’s up?”

“what do you mean?”

bucky just quirked his eyebrow in response, so you continued. “i heard what you told steve the other day. y’know, when you said you were just flirting with me because you felt bad.”

it felt nice to stand up for yourself, for once.

“y/n... i- that’s not what i was saying. you didn’t let me finish!” he tried to reach out for you but you backed up. “y/n... please.” you could see there was actual regret & sadness in his eyes.

well, you already acted like a fool for an entire year. one more night wouldn’t hurt.

“fine, tell me the rest.”

you motioned toward your bed. it was the middle of the night, & you were tired from standing.

bucky sat across from you with his elbows on his knees. he looked both anxious & stressed.

“i- ugh. how am i supposed to say this.” he rubbed a hand over his face. “i- i don’t feel bad for you. fuck! no, that’s not what i meant! i do feel bad for you hearing that & feeling bad. but i don’t pity you. i didn’t do all that stuff because i pitied you.”

he took a few deep breaths before continuing.

“i love you, y/n. i just... i didn’t know if you felt the same. & i know i’m an awful person. & i don’t know why you’d want to date a person like me, so that’s why i didn’t act on my feelings. i didn’t want to hurt you... i guess that backfired, huh?” he chuckled, softly.

you smiled.

“you really love me?” you asked.

“yeah. a lot. i mean, a lot a lot.”

“come ‘ere.” you extended your arms & made grabby motions with your hands.

you welcomed bucky into a long hug. this was much better than any other hug you two shared. five minutes ago, you hated this man. but now, you loved him more than anything.

[12yeahiminluvwu]

A Little Bigger Now (Alt. Scenario)

pairing - Rudy Pankow x Little Sister!Reader

summary- Rudy comes to pick you up from a party when he catches wind that you’re a little tied up...

word count- 1.18k

warning(s)- implied sex, swearing, mentions of underage drugs/alcohol usage, protective older brother, probably some typo(e?)s, shitty writing :)

Rudy’s Little sister pt.4!!! I’ve gotten quite a few requests for another one, so I thought this one would be fun :) I hope y’all like it! 

masterlist 

series list

--------------------------------

Your ears buzzed at the feeling of the bass booming throughout the crowded living room you had been sucked into. Bodies crashed around like wild animals to the beat of the music, everyone lost in the moment, drunk and high off of pure teenage ecstasy. You didn’t quite remember how you ended up here, at this party, with your friends and your boyfriend. Nonetheless, here you were, dancing and drinking, having the time of your life. 

“Baby, let’s go upstairs…” Your boyfriend whispered from behind you. You could feel his smirk on your neck as your body grinded into his, creating a friction you had never felt before. You nodded to him and led him up the stairs, disappearing into the night. 

--------------

Rudy pulled up to the house and sighed, knowing it would take him a while to find you. Walking into the living room, his eyes scanned the crowd, thinking maybe he’d get lucky and you’d be sitting right there. You were nowhere to be seen, only fueling his frustration. 

One of our friends had accidentally called him, asking if you were with him because she couldn’t find you, resulting in him getting worried and coming to find you himself. 

He found your friend sitting at the kitchen counter with a drink in her hand, laughing amongst other people. 

“Hey, have you seen y/n?” He yelled over the music, making sure she’d be able to hear him. Looking over, she shook her head, then continued her drunken conversation that didn’t make any sense to him at all.

Your brother resorted to showing people a picture and asking if they’d seen you. After many “Nah man, haven’t seen her’s”, and “no but could I get her snap?’s” he finally found someone who recognized you. 

“Yeah man, saw her walk upstairs with some dude!” The person said. His eyes widened at their words. 

“Wait what? She went upstairs with someone?” He asked and they nodded, turning away and going back to dancing. 

Rudy knew exactly what that meant. He also knew you were very drunk, or at least he thought so. That’s how your friend made it seem… So he rushed upstairs, hoping to find you before it was too late. As he rounded the corner of the upper hallway, you could be seen slipping out of a room, hair a mess and clothes disheveled like they’d been ripped off. 

“Y/n!” He yelled, rushing to you, pushing through the people that had gathered upstairs. Your head shot up at the sound of your brother’s voice echoing through the hallway. 

“Fuck…” You whispered to yourself, smoothing out your messy clothing to the best of your ability and trying to come up with an excuse that your brother would actually believe. He came to a quick stop in front of you, immediately checking you for any injuries you might have. 

“Are you ok? What happened? Are you sober? What happened in there? Are you ok?” He rushed out in one breath, overwhelming you even more than the party had. 

“Rudy, I’m fine… What are you doing here? And yes, I’m sober, for the most part…” You said, swatting his hands away from you and taking a step back to try and catch your breath. 

“Your friend called and said she couldn’t find you so I thought you were in trouble, so I came to find you… What were you doing upstairs… alone in a room with someone?” He asked, eyebrows perked. Your face flushed and suddenly any excuse you had conjured up to try and get out of this situation went out the window. You had never been good at lying to your brother. 

“Uhh, I- I was… you know… hangin’ out. With a friend. Yeah, a friend. We were just, hangin’ out…” You stuttered out, capped by a sheepish smile, desperately trying to get out of telling your brother what you had actually just done. He was quiet, processing what you had just word vomited at him. Your hand began to sweat, in anticipation of what he was going to say. 

It started to sink in that he knew what you were doing, but he wanted you to say it. 

“You were hanging out… with a friend…” He repeated and you nodded, too quickly for it to be believable. 

The look in his eyes was prying. Your breath caught in your throat at the thought of even saying it in front of your brother. He’d never talked about it with you, you had never talked about it with him, and you’d like to keep it that way. 

“Y/n…-” 

“Ugh, Rudy you don’t want to hear what happened in that room ok, just drop it!” You finally said and his eyes widened. Ok, maybe he didn’t know… Or he did but he didn’t think it was actually true. Who knows. 

“You… like right before this? Like, in there?” He asked and you nodded slowly. 

“Gross.” 

“Oh shut up, don’t act like you don’t!” You defended yourself, pushing his shoulder. He turned away, grabbing your hand in the process and started walking down the hallway. 

“Where are we going?” You asked, having to yell as you got into the living room to be heard over the music. 

“I came all this way, I’m not gonna come all the way back to pick you up. Let’s go!” 

“Ugh, Rudy, I wasn’t ready to leave yet!” He turned around, looking you straight in the eye. 

“Y/n, I just found out that my baby sister had sex, and has probably had it before tonight too. I need to get out of here and process this information. So please, let’s go!” Heat rushed to your cheeks once again and you sighed, realizing you just dropped a bomb on your brother. You followed him out to his car and got in quietly. 

“You’re not mad are you?” You asked after a while. Before now, your eyes hadn’t left the road in front of you, but now they shifted to your brother in the driver’s seat. You saw him shake his head. 

“I can’t be mad y/n, I was the same age when I lost my… you know. But it just shocked me because I didn’t realize how grown-up you were getting… I thought you were always gonna be my little sister, but you’re not little anymore,” You saw him tilt his head back, as if he was trying to hold in tears. You felt your eyes well with tears at the thought of making your brother cry.

“Oh, Roo I’m always gonna be your little sister… I’m just a little bigger now…” You said, reaching over to grab his hand. He latched tightly onto you and didn’t let go until it was time to get out of the car. He came around the car and wrapped his arms tightly around you, swaying the two of you back and forth for a few minutes. 

“Don’t get any bigger ok?” He said and you nodded, laughing as the two of you walked up to your apartment.

-----

@deathcompass

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 8

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

Warnings! Pregnancy, Mentions of sex.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7,  

Word Count: 1.4k

Since last night, all y/n could think about Jeff telling her that he loved her! She doesn’t know whether it’s her actual feelings or her hormones making her crazy. She didn’t think that Jeff would try to step up and admit his wrong doings. Was she still in love w/ him? How is she gonna survive the weekend in Big Bear w/ him AND David??

Jeff: *texts y/n* Hey, I’ll be there in 20.

Y/n: Okay, see you soon :)

Y/n pov:

*talking to the mirror while doing makeup* Ugh fuck me. I hope I look cute. WAIT what the fuck am I saying? It’s only Jeff. But he’s the father of your kids. But you haven’t broken up with David yet. So you can’t think that way. Jeff probably thinks you look gross anyways. Last time he fucked you, you had a bangin ass body and now you’re a beached whale. Ugh the last time he fucked me… That was… Ugh, I’m getting horny just thinking about it… David is sweet and gentle but Jeff is something else. They way he would-  Why tf am I thinking about fucking Jeff before an appointment? I swear these hormones mess with me at the wrong times... Jesus take the wheel!

Jeff: Hey, I’m outside.

Y/n: I’ll be down in a sec.

Y/n: *looks in the mirror one last time* Please don’t be a dumb bitch today…

Car Ride

Y/n: Heyy, you nervous?

Jeff: A little. They’re not gonna poke you with needles and shit, right?

Y/n: No but if they see something wrong, they’re gonna have to.

Jeff: Oh I hope not..

Y/n: So how was your Thanksgiving?

Jeff: It was boring as usual. My mom asked me questions about my dating life.

Y/n: Really? And what did you say?

Jeff: That I was on a break… But Karyn knew something was up.

Y/n: Did she drag you to filth?

Jeff: Maybe…

Y/n: That’s why I loved Karyn. She’ll always tell you anything straight up.

Jeff: *Smiles* Good thing she did.

5 month Ultrasound appointment

Doctor: Well hello y/n, your belly sure has grown.

Y/n: Haha I definitely feel it growing.

Doctor: *sees Jeff* And your name is?

Jeff: Oh I’m Jeff, I’m the father.

Doctor: Well, I’m glad you were able to join y/n today. You excited to see the babies?

Jeff: For sure. Can you also do the 4D ultrasound?

Doctor: Since my next appointment isn’t for another 2.5 hours, I’ll be able to do it.

Y/n: *lifts up her shirt*

Doctor: *Put’s the jelly on y/n’s stomach* And those are your 2 little girls. Looks like one of them is a little shy today.

Jeff: Wow. It’s really them. Two girls. Two little princesses.

Y/n: *looks at Jeff in the eyes* Yeah. Two little princesses.

Doctor: *turns of the heart monitor*

Jeff: *speaking in his head* Two little princesses. Two strong heartbeats. Boy you were fucking stupid to ever have treated y/n the way you did. I’m gonna be a dad to two girls. Fuck, I swear if any boys hurt my baby girls, they’re gonna fucking regret hurting my kids. If one or both of them are into girls, then it’s y/n job to chase after them. I don’t care how my kids will turn out in life, I just know I will love them no matter what.

Y/n: *looks at Jeff* Are you okay?

Jeff: *has tears in his eyes* Huh what? *wipes his tears* Nah I’m good. Totally cool.

Doctor: And now I’m going to switch to the 4D, and those are your babies.

Jeff: They kinda look like aliens.

Doctor: All babies on 4D look like Aliens haha. Oop it looks like the shy twin is being a little troublemaker already. It looks like she’s giving us the middle finger.

Jeff: Yup she is for sure daddy’s little princess already.

Doctor: I’ll print all the pictures out and do you mind if we run some tests on both of you today? When it gets to the halfway mark, we like to run tests on both biological parents to see if there’s a chance of abnormalities with the child. We can see on both ultrasounds that everything looks fine but we’d just like to make sure.

Jeff: Yeah sure. How long would test results come back in?

Doctor: Since it’s getting close to Christmas and not many people are coming in at the moment. Might come back in 48-72 hours max, might be even faster.

Y/n: Okay that’s fine.

*After the appointment*

Y/n: Was it just me or were you crying at the appointment.

Jeff: Cryin? Haha you wish. It’s allergies. I think some dust went into my eye.

Y/n: Okay big tough guy.

Jeff: You hungry?

Y/n: That’s the dumbest question you can ever ask a pregnant girl. Of course I’m hungry!

Jeff: In n Out?

Y/n: You know me too well.

Jeff: You nervous about the test results?

Y/n: A little but no one that I know of in my family has a condition or anything.

Jeff: Yeah neither do mine. Karyn’s kids came out just fine.

Y/n: Hopefully the results come back after we get home from Big Bear cause we’re already leaving tomorrow.

Jeff: You were also gonna break up with David after…

Y/n: Ughhhh. Why does so much have to happen during the holidays?

Everybody meeting at David’s house the next day (12/14/19)

David: Okay so in my tesla, it’s me, y/n, Natalie, Jason, Zane, Jonah and Suzie. In Toddy’s, it’s him, Jeff, Matt. I know the rest of Jonah’s family is coming. Carly and Erin are driving up with Mariah & Heath. I feel like we’re missing people.

Jason: I think that’s everyone.. .I don’t know. This is a big group.

Natalie: Not to mention that there’s more people coming later.

Y/n: David, can I talk to you?

David: Yeah sure.  

Y/n: Sooo, Jeff apologized for everything the other day…

David: He did? When was this?

Y/n: About 2 days ago

David: So you’ve kept this from me for 2 days? I thought you would’ve told me sooner…

Y/n: Ummm I don’t know where all this attitude is coming from but I didn’t need to tell you. He is the father of my kids after all, not you.

David: Well thanks for reminding me… Maybe you can ride with him since he’s the father.

Y/n: If you’re going to keep acting like this because Jeff is actually doing something right for once, THIS is not going to work out between us.

David: If that’s how you feel, then so be it.

Y/n: Fine then. *turns to Carly* Hey, can I ride w/ you & Erin?

Carly: Of course.

*Everybody stands around awkwardly after seeing what happened*

Car ride to Big Bear

Carly: Wait, David actually got mad at you because Jeff apologized?

Y/n: Basically. He came at me with an attitude but didn’t think he was in the wrong when he said he still liked Madison during a lie detector test. But whatever, I’m pretty sure we were a fling anyways.

Erin: Yeah we lowkey thought that too.

Y/n: haha what.

Erin: Well, you know how excited he is about babies and how easily he gets baby fever. It looked like he was getting close to you because of it.

Y/n: That’s what I said to Jeff!

Carly: So do you think you and Jeff are gonna get together?

Y/n: I think it’s too early to tell. I still don’t completely trust him. Remember, he’s on a trial rn. Awww but he did cry at the ultrasound appointment the other day.

Carly: He can cry?

Erin: I thought the botox in his face prevented that

Y/n: GUYS STOP MAKING ME LAUGH OR I’M GONNA PEE.

Okay so I KNOW that this chapter was ehh BUT it’s because I wrote 3k words and I decided to split the chapter into 2 because I wrote A LOT. A warning for the next chapter, most of it is pure filth and I demand y’all get some holy water.

Comment if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @elvlogsquad​ @siemprestan​ @zavidzobrik​ @galxydefender @iminlovewithenchilidadas​ @ilsolee @ranprivate @one-sweet-gubler @thoughtfullymysticalpoetry @sunwardsss @shamalamashams

[logicalbookthief]

76 on the prompt list :>>> excited to see what u come up w/

Anon, your faith in me was truly misguided. I saw this prompt and went, “ooh, ok, let’s do some heartfelt angst,” and then as I started that my brain went, “nah, this instead.”

And by this, I mean “domestic & married Reddie being gross and in love and having a drama queen for a kid”

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Prompt: 76 – “It could be worse. They could be dating.” “Wait. They are?!”

Summary: “Our daughter is dating a nose-picker?!” Eddie says it with the disdain of someone describing a serial killer.

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Richie kicks the door closed with his foot, already slipping it halfway out of his shoe. He dumps his duffel on the floor, which Eddie’ll chide him for later. That’s a problem for future Richie, not present Richie, who’s running on pure caffeine after his non-stop flight from Atlanta to LA.

The distant thump of 80s music lures him to the kitchen. Eddie’s humming along to the radio as he rinses lettuce for one of his seasonal salads. Richie would bet his life it includes pine nuts. 

Padding quietly across the hardwood, Richie warps his arms around his husband from behind. “Honey, I’m home!”

Eddie jolts, relaxing the minute he feels the frame of Richie’s glasses against his head. “Jesus,” he sighs, dropping to a whisper. “Jack, what’re you doing, you know my husband’s coming home today!”

“Jack?!” Richie squawks, twisting him around by the lapels. “As in, our mailman?”

“Oh, whoops,” Eddie feigns shock, the facade lasting all of a second before he throws his arms around Richie’s neck, swooping in for a kiss. 

Richie moans, a little satisfied hum against Eddie’s lips. “Where’s my other sweetheart?”

His husband adjusts his shirt where it’s riding up, due to his Richie’s wandering hands. “Moping,” he explains, delicately.

“She’s seven. What does she have to mope about?” Richie deadpans. His mouth twists into a grimace. “Wait. Are you trying the tuna casserole recipe again?”

Eddie whips around. “What the fuck’s wrong with my–?”

“Nothing!” he answers quickly. Eddie narrows his eyes, wielding the salad-spinner like he wants to use it on something besides leafy greens. “So what’s eating my little Spaghetti-o?”

“Mrs. Diaz separated her from her cubby-buddy, Jonas,” Eddie informs, eyebrows rocketing to his hairline. “Apparently they were too disruptive as a pair.”

“Jonas? Isn’t that the nose-picker?” He regrets this observation as Eddie gags over the croutons. 

Everyone has a thing, a thing that trips the gag reflex. Many things bring out that response in Eddie, yet none so viscerally as his aversion to snot, boogers, and the like. Ever since they were kids, it was the surefire way to make him heave. Even if the snot in question was connected to their child.

So when it came to boogers, Richie was the go-to parent, while Eddie graciously agreed to handle the diaper meltdowns. After all, the key to a successful marriage is compromise. Compromise, and lots of Clorox wipes. 

At the school’s Christmas pageant last year, the boy standing next to Nina started digging for gold halfway through Twelve Days of Christmas and found a nugget before they hit two turtle-doves. Poor Eds nearly hurled in Richie’s lap. 

“Don’t remind me,” Eddie shudders. “Anyway, she’s heartbroken over it. As soon as we got home she ran to her room. I tried to talk to her when I brought her a snack and she asked me to please give her time.”

Richie imagines that coming out of his seven-year-old’s mouth and snorts. “Sorry,” he adds. “Not funny.”

Eddie ducks his chin to hide his smile. “Even for her, it’s a tad overdramatic,” he admits, glancing up at Richie through his lashes. “I didn’t have the heart to pester her, but, maybe since you’re home…”

“I’m on it!” Richie stretches the lingering kinks out of his neck. “I’m a world-famous comedian back from a sold-out show. Cheering our daughter up should be a cinch.”

“Mhm,” Eddie intones, not sounding very confident. Which, rude. He seems rather distracted by the length of Richie’s biceps as they stretch over his head. His eyes gleam with an anticipation that has nothing to do with salad. Richie’s got the same itch crawling beneath his skin and he’s very eager to scratch it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and the dick grow harder. 

His knocks at Nina’s room are ignored, so Richie gently pushes the door open to peer inside. At the sight of his daughter curled up on the bed, he breaks into a smile.

“Eyyy, there’s my girl!” 

Nina raises her head from the pillow, uttering a curt, “Hi, Dad.”

Well, that’s far less enthusiasm than he was expecting. Considering he was gone for almost a week. Nothing like a child’s indifference to keep you humble.

“Aww, sweetie, what’s wrong?” His ears perk at the soft croon of Whitney Houston in the background. “And … what the heck are you listening to?”

“Playlist,” she mutters, blindly flinging an arm toward her device. She’s got it open to his Spotify. 

Richie should probably delete the app from her tablet, like, yesterday. If she ever stumbles across his “Songs to fuck Eddie to” playlist he’ll have to commit samurai-suicide.

However. Given this playlist is called “Sad love songs to cry into your Chipotle burrito,” Richie has a better idea of what type of crisis he’s dealing with here. 

“Sooo, uh. Your daddy told me. You and Jonas, you two are…?” He winces at her lip-tremble, which confirms his worst suspicions. “That’s rough, kiddo.”

“I’ll never be happy again,” Nina sniffs miserably. “I love Jonas and now we’ll never see each other!”

“You are still in the same class,” Richie points out.

She whirls on him, eyes flashing lividly.

“We sit by last names! His is at the beginning, mine’s at the end!” With more venom than a child should be capable of, she hisses, “I hate the alphabet.” 

“O-Kay,” says Richie, truly at a loss. Luckily, she doesn’t seem inclined to talk about it anymore. Instead she stuffs her face back in the pillow, not quite fluffy enough to absorb her lovelorn sigh.

He pets her hair, curling it around his fingers, until the sniffles eventually dwindle. “Do you want us to make you a special dinner? Anything you want,” Richie cajoles.

Nina thinks it over, tilting her cheek enough to say, “Can you ask Daddy to make tuna casserole?”

Richie blanches. “Wha– Why?”

“I want my belly to feel as bad as my heart,” she mumbles.

He manages to keep a straight face as he bends to kiss her brow and leaves her to sulk, but it’s a close call. When he reports back to the kitchen with his news, there’s no tact necessary.

Eddie laughs ‘til he’s out of breath. “It isn’t funny,” he repeats, slightly winded.

“Of course not,” Richie agrees, failing to stifle his own grin.

“I love her, I’m sorry she’s hurting, but she’s so–”

“Theatric?”

“She gets that from you,” Eddie accuses.

“Excuse a moi?” Richie balks. “This, coming from the guy who kissed me out of the deadlights like some low-budget horror rebut of Sleeping Beauty?”

“What, should I have let the clown eat you?” Eddie glances his way, slyly. “I was referring to middle school. When you spent an entire night cranking your mom’s Bonnie Tyler records because I said you kind of looked like a frog, and you remembered how three weeks ago I told Bev I’d never kiss a frog even if it turned into a handsome prince?”

“Fucking Stanley,”  Richie huffs. “I swore him to secrecy. We spit on it and everything.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “At least for Nina, it’s only a crush. It could be worse,” he scoffs. “They could be dating.”

Richie tries to school his expression, he does, but – the thing is. After spending almost their whole fucking lives together, minus those twenty-two years of amnesia in between, Eddie can spot his tells from a mile away.

“Wait. They are?!” He slaps a hand over his mouth, aghast. “Our daughter is dating a nose-picker?”

He says it with the disdain of someone describing a serial killer.

“Ugh, Rich, that–ew! What if they hold hands after h–he–”

The suggestion of it alone has Eddie bending over the sink.

“Babe, c’mon.” Richie soothes a palm up-and-down his spine. “You’ve drilled the importance of hand-washing into Nina since she could walk. I doubt she’s carrying around any clingers.”

On cue, Eddie lets loose another dry heave.

“Will you stop?” he groans, glaring over his shoulder at Richie. “This is awful. Literally, of all the kids in her class, why this one?” 

“You’re blowing this way out of proportion,” says Richie, though Eddie’s eyebrows beg to differ. He loves his husband, deeply, irrevocably, but he’s also one of most ridiculous people on the planet. “Remember, we like Jonas? Jonas is nice! If a little unsanitary… He’ll grow out of it, though. Like I did.”

The words leave his mouth before his brain can flash any of the red warning signs. Slowly, ever so slowly, Eddie turns. They lock eyes. His gaze brims with the horror of this realization.

“Are you saying,” Eddie begins, dangerously low, “that you used to pick your nose when we were kids a-and then, you’d touch me?”

“Used to?” Richie grabs the fleeing Eddie and hauls him back before he really does leave him for their incredibly buff mailman.

“Babe!” he chuckles. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I swear! I swear on Ben’s chiseled abs!”

“Disgusting, you’re disgusting,” Eddie grumbles, wriggling in his grasp. “Let go of me, don’t even think of touching me with–”

All of a sudden, Eddie squeals, wracked with a full-bodied spasm.

“With what?” Richie taunts, continuing to tickle him. “With these filthy, boogery fingers of mine?”

“St–op!” Eddie wheezes. “I’m gonna piss my pants!”

“Don’t exploit my pee kink,” he snaps, which only makes Eddie wheeze harder.

“I’ve had my fingers in your ass,” Richie reminds. “In fact, you love my fingers in your ass.”

Whether from embarrassment or exertion, Eddie flushes. “Fuck you, that’s extremely different!”

“You’re right, it’s probably more disgusting.” Teeth skirting over his earlobe, Richie leans down, his voice a sultry hush, “Because I like to use my mouth there, too.”

Eddie muffles a moan into his fist. “I see what you’re doing,” he grits out. “And it won’t work. No way I’m sleeping with you now, nose-picker.”

Richie makes a wounded noise, clutching him more firmly to his chest. “Please, Eds, baby, I can change! I’ll go to meetings, therapy– I’ll never stick my finger anywhere you don’t want again!”

“I don’t know if I can ever look at you the same.” Eddie’s reply cuts off into a giggle as those fingers attack his flank. “Seriously, Rich, I am going to–!” 

They’re interrupted by the violent swing of Nina’s door against the wall.

“Will you two keep it down?!” she shouts. “I’m trying to mourn!”

The door slams shut again. They gawk at each other in silence. Finally, Richie pools enough blood into his brain to speak.

“Are we terrible parents?”

Eddie kisses the underside of his chin. “Ask me that when your semi isn’t plastered against my ass,” he says, flatly.

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@trashmouth_tozier

Hi my name is Richie and I’m a recovering nose-picker. Ages 3 thru 9 were rough, but with the support of my dear husband, I’ve managed to keep my fingers clean. Hope my story can help inspire someone else xx

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Bev: why did Eddie ask for the number of my divorce lawyer ?

Bev: nvm I saw your tweet

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Am I projecting my own snot-induced gag reflex onto Eddie? Yes. Do I still believe my characterization was spot-on? Yes again.  

[stormyweaver]

Okay so... *ahem* I feel like so far, my lil’ fics I’ve posted have had a decent balance of snz + story, which I personally like to read when I browse through stories in general. But uh... if you’re looking for balance/canon stuff/awesome wordiness, this ain’t it lol. This is pure indulgence that I drummed up one night and swore I would never show anyone. Then I decided ‘Eh, maybe someone else might get a kick out of it’ so! Without further stalling, here’s some pre-season 1 Wa/lking D/ead featuring Rick and Shane during their police academy days. 

"C'mon man, quit fightin' it!" "Shade, I swear to God I'm gonna... g-gonna..." "Gonna sneeze again? Hell, blind man could'a told ya' that," While a grinning Shane leaned against the end of the bed, Rick reclined off the side, hands shakily hovering over his nose. He'd had a cold for the past three days, and it finally made a head the day BEFORE their fucking latest physical test was scheduled. He could deal with the fatigue, aches and general malaise - he’d pushed through worse - but did he really have to sneeze every other minute?! "Ugh, n'do, I'mb-- hih!" Rheumy eyes glazed over, close to slamming shut as his nose twitched, tingles running rampant along the lining of his sinuses. He could fight it, he could, he just had to concentrate... "Swear to God, man, you look like you're about to cum," That- that did it. "hhiiIh-- ihhTSCHH! Hih'TXSHH! iiHHSHH! ih'SHH! 'TSHH!" The fit landed into his cupped palms point blank, each one spilling out until his body figured itself satisfied. Groaning, Rick grimaced at the mess left behind on his palms, leaning over to pluck a tissue from the box on his nightstand. "I'b blamig' you for that," Meanwhile, Shane merely side-eyed his friend, a light smirk on his lips."Told ya'. Bless you, anyway, like - times five? Shit, never could keep count with you," Teasing Rick had to be his favorite pastime, even vying for first with boning the hot chick from the local bar on the weekends. He was just too easy to get under the skin of, especially with how pathetically miserably he appeared. Though, Shane couldn't deny that, this particular jabbing session had an underlying purpose. After spending the last couple of days with a walking germ incubator, he'd already begun to feel a sore throat coming on day two. Now, there was a distinct heaviness lining his lungs, a sluggish lag creeping into his bones, and damn if he didn't wanna claw his own sinuses out. But like hell would he ever let Rick onto that fact. No willingly giving ammunition for being harped on, it simply wasn't allowed between them. The sound of Rick gently blowing his nose caught Shane's attention, another chuckle passing through his lips. "Can't imagine how you're breathin' through all that gunk, man," Going back to his book, Shane flinched as he felt something soft, papery and distinctly damp land atop his hand. Gagging, he quickly flicked the used tissue to the side, "Oh, fuckin' sick, asshole!" Turning around to reach up, he grappled for Rick's flannel to pull him onto the floor, but the other wasn't going without a fight. "Take's one to know one!" he shot back, shifting so he was on his belly and pushing himself back off the edge and out of Shane's grasp. Even the slight tousle had Rick coughing into his fist, but Shane didn't back down. Closing his book, he crawled atop the bed, taking the momentarily preoccupied Rick and pinning him down -- wrists in hand, knees locking his legs into place. Grunting in defiance, Rick shot daggers at his friend, not enough to really show anything besides a large irritation, though. "Dick," Shane merely shrugged, leaning in a bit to sing-song, "Take's one to know one~" with a snicker. Rick could only roll his eyes, sniffling heavily as he-- Oh, shit. He was gonna sneeze again. Though it would have been the ultimate revenge, the merciful part of Rick really didn't want to stack up the odds of his friend catching this. After all, Shane fit the mold when it came to who was a bigger asshole between them. Couldn’t go ruining that dynamic. "Shane, lem'be up," he insisted, shifting his hips between Shane's fucking thunder thighs as he wrinkled his nose tight. "Uh-uh, not 'til you say you're sorry 'bout tossing your snot rag at me..." His tongue prodded the inside of his cheek, "...aaaand you admit that I'm better at puttin' together a Remington. 'Cause you know it's the truth," Snorting, though Rick couldn't identify if it was indignant or reflexive, he began to squirm in earnest, shaking his head. "I-I'm serious, man, lebbe up, I gotta..." Rick felt his lungs begin to spasm, breath catching on the last word. Still clueless, Shane rose a brow at his friend, "What’s more important than tellin’ me I’m right? Nice try, but, nah. Jus' say it an' I'll let ya' go, brother," A sudden huff exited Rick's lungs, and this time his eyes rolled up in preparation of the sneezes just itching to barrel out of him. Shit, he had to move--! "S-Shane, I... I gotta... hiihhh!..." Oh, screw it, he wasn't gonna go through this again. Maybe it was time for a little bit of payback for all that teasing. It seemed by the time Shane had put two and two together, brows raising just as Rick tilted his head back, flared nostrils exposed and damp. "hh'ITSHH'uh! ih'TSHHH'uh! hih'ISHHU!" Whether it was shock or slowed reflexes, Shane got hit smack in the face with the first one, raising an arm to shield himself from the next pair. He groaned in tandem with Rick, who allowed his head to fall back with a thick snuffle. "Ugh, damb that felt good," and a mildly satisfied smirk. Wait, his hand was free-- YES! Ignoring his streaming nose with another sniffle, Rick took Shane's momentary stunned state and flipped him onto his back, reversing their position in under two seconds. "You fuckin'--!" Shane started, attempting to break free from Rick's grasp, but even with a cold the man still knew how to pin someone down. Nostrils flared, Shane sighed and glanced off to the side, swearing again before peering up at Rick with a grimace. "Seriously couldn'ta warned me before ya' sprayed all that shit on my face?" A scoff flew past Rick's lips. "I tried! You wouldn't listen, stubborn ass," Sighing, he glanced down between them before giving Shane an exasperated look. "What, you wanna get me back?" Well... maybe it was kinda too far. Definitely gross. Shane had asked for it, but, Rick honestly hated seeing that hurt puppy dog look on the others face. Damn struck sympathy chords. "... Alright here, you can punch me in the arm, alright? That make ya' feel any better?" Before he could get an answer, Shane had been silently fighting an internal battle of his own. While Rick tried and failed miserably to stave off his fittish sneezes, Shane had actually been doing a fair job of ignoring the tingling within his own crooked nose. But with all the rough and tumbling, and surprise from being sprayed in the face, tingling had morphed into an all out itch. His expression was already going slack, eyes lidded as his lips parted to suck in air so as to fuel the inevitable sneeze. Rick, knowing that expression all too well by now, groaned and tilted his head to the side. "Jus' make it quick, man," Shane managed to gasp out a chuckle, bunching his nose up and down as the tickle worked his sinuses. "T-tryin', man," Fuck, he had to sneeze so bad, why wasn't it coming out?! He sniffed, heavily, feeling his chest expand beneath Rick -- and then nothing. Groaning, he squirmed a bit under Rick, his left leg beginning to job from the anxiousness of waiting. "Fuck, man, i-ihhh... i-it won't come out!" He gasped in disbelief, feeling ridiculous as his expression twisted all from a stupid tickle in his nose. Oh. Oh, geez. Rick glanced back to Shane in a mixture of awkwardness and pity - he knew how much a stuck sneeze sucked ass. And as much as his friend deserved at least a part of this, he wasn't a complete jerk. "Alright, alright hold on," Letting go of his wrists, Rick leaned over and yanked another tissue from the box, trying to ignore how... weird it felt, having Shane kinda writhing underneath him. "Tried this the other night, an'... look, it's weird okay?" He sighed, fingers twisting the tissue until it reached a fine point, "But it works so, jus' shut up and lemme help ya'," Shane wasn't about to say no - he'd wanted to sneeze in the first place, now this was just getting ridiculous. "I-I'd try snortin' p-pepper at tthis point," But, he reckoned a tissue would be a lot less painful. He tried not to tense up as his friend brought the implement to his nostrils, but he couldn't help seizing up once it slid past the rim. "huuhh--uhhh-uuUUH--" Still, nothing but build up, and he let out an audible groan. Rick tried not to wince at his friend's obvious discomfort, biting down hard as he attempted to wiggle the tool deeper into his nose. "Jus' try and relax, s'what I had to do. Uh... t-think of somethin' that makes ya' sneeze. Like that one girls perfume, last month, remember? Shit, thought you'd just about sneeze out the entire club that night, firin' one after the other. Think'a that, okay?" Oh God, that... Shane could recall with almost perfect clarity that night, not too long ago. Whatever cheap, heady scent the girl had on, it did NOT agree with his sinuses. Shane had little problem sneezing then, barely able to get a word in-between, and Rick all but led him out into the night air. But, it stuck with him, all over his clothes, his hair... so tickly... and he'd been so.... so fucking sneezy... "Hhhhoooh God, R-rick...! T-t-think it--  think it's wuhh-huh! w-workin'..." Shane's head had tilted back as far as it could go, and this gave Rick better access to really work at his nose. He wiggled the tissue,  giving twists as he slid it in and out of his friends nostril. Just seeing the way his expression was falling almost made Rick's own nose twinge in sympathy. "Uhhh-UHHH---!" He'd hit the spot. Rick assaulted the area as best he could, hand clenched onto Shane's shoulder as he encouraged him. "Jus' ooone more..." With that, he flicked the spear, twisting it twice before sliding it out, slowly, from Shane's nose. And that seemed to do it. "huuhh--hHHUUUH---HHH! HH! HHHUURRRUUSHHHOOO!" Shane finally released, so powerful a sneeze that he rose and bumped his forehead against Rick's with the force of it. "Ghh--!" Rick staggered backwards, falling back onto the bed with a hiss as his fingers rose to massage his temple. "Shit," he chuckled, cracking an eye open to glance at Shane, "Damn, when I said fire, I didn't mean liter-- Oh..." Anyone could tell by the hazy desperation on Shane's expression that he wasn't yet finished. Hitching softly, he brushed the knuckle of his index finger against the tip of his nose, a shudder running down his spine before he sneezed again, openly. "hhHUURUSHHHH'UHHh! hHHAHHH'KSHHH AAHHH'SHHH'huh!'hue... Ohhh, fugck," Shane moaned, ignoring the ache in his head in favor of massaging the sides of his nose. It still felt like he could sneeze his brains out, but a little less insistent than before. He sniffled, yes, full on sniffled, feeling tears trickle from his eyes and sighed. "... So, uh... think ya' mighta' got m'be sick," he mumbled stuffily, sniffling again and scrubbing at the side of his nose with a finger.

Rick could only huff out a congested sigh of his own, gazing at his friend with a small, apologetic smile as he passed him the box of Kleenex. “Misery loves company,”

[1dffchallenges]

Pure Coincidence

Written By: @tinyfelthat

Characters: Katharine/Louis

Summary: Katharine (literally) runs into Louis while getting coffee on the morning she and two of her best friends are leaving town for a wedding. Little does she know, she'll be seeing him again, and sooner than expected.

Author’s Note: I threw this together at the very last minute, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Warnings: Some language

Pure Coincidence

On the day we left for Boston, it was raining and I’d run out of K-Cups for my coffee.

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FRIDAY, ABOUT 8:45 AM, PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA

I was supposed to meet Marnie and Niall at their apartment (after we graduated, they immediately moved in together, and I was so happy for them). I never minded being the third wheel, because they always made sure not to exclude me, except on their date nights, of course. Instead of heading straight to their place, I had to stop at Wawa for a cup of coffee, because I was doing all of the driving. We were taking my car, after all. As luck would have it, I walked straight into somebody while trying to open my umbrella when I was leaving Wawa, and I spilled my coffee all over both of us.

“Hey! Watch it!” he snarled at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t see you. Can I buy you a coffee to make it up to you? I have to replace mine anyway.” I gestured with the empty coffee cup in my hand.

“Yeah, okay,” he said as we walked in. “But watch where you’re going next time. I have to go home and change now. I’ve got a long drive ahead of me and I don’t want to spend the whole time sticky and smelling of coffee.”

“Me too! I’m headed to Boston for the weekend with my two best friends. We’re going to a wedding.”

“No way. I’m headed up the same way for my cousin’s wedding. Well, third cousin. Twice removed, maybe? I don’t really remember. He’s a really cool guy, though, from what I remember. But I haven’t seen him since we were in elementary school. I was really surprised he invited me. He even made me a groomsman.”

“Huh. Well, ours is a friend from college. She’s having a huge wedding, and the invitation said open bar, so I am ready for that, especially considering that the groom’s best man is my ex and I’m a bridesmaid.”

“Hmm, that really sucks.” The guy sipped his coffee. “Thanks for the coffee. I gotta go back and change otherwise I’ll get caught in traffic and won’t make it to the rehearsal dinner.”

“Okay,” I said. “Good luck with the wedding. I hope your cousin is as cool as you remember him being.”

FRIDAY, ABOUT 12:15 PM, SOMEWHERE ON I-95

“Ugh, I gotta pee,” Marnie complained. “Find the nearest rest stop.” I glared at her in the rearview mirror, and she reluctantly added, “Please.”

“The next rest stop is in two miles,” Niall said from the passenger seat as we passed a sign that said so. “Marn, can you make it two more miles?”

“Yeah, okay.”

There was a silence for a moment, so I said, “Did I tell you guys why I was late this morning?”

“Actually, you didn’t,” Marnie said.

“So, I was out of K-Cups.”

“As you often are,” noted Niall.

“Yeah, anyway, so I had to go to Wawa for coffee. And I was trying to get my umbrella to open as I left and I walked right into this really cute guy. Coffee all over both of us.”

“Mhm,” chorused my friends.

“Well, I offered to buy him his coffee to make up for the fact that I’d spilled mine all over the both of us, and we talked for a little while we were in line to pay for the coffees…”

“Coffees, plural?” Niall asked. “He had other people with him that you offered to buy coffee for?”

“No, dumbass, I’d spilled mine all over him, so I needed a new one too. Anyway, he’s going to Boston for a wedding this weekend also.”

“No way!” Niall said. “Did you get his number?”

“Nah, he was in a rush and I didn’t get a chance to ask him for it. I don’t think I even got his name.”

“That’s terrible, Katharine,” Marnie said. “Do better next time.”

I pulled into the rest stop and said, “Do you guys want anything to eat? It’s just about lunchtime.”

“Yeah, I could eat.” Niall answered, as Marnie said, “Sure, but I gotta pee first.”

“I gotta pee too,” I said. “But then we should get some slices of pizza. Are you guys good with that?”

They nodded, and Niall added, “I’ll get gas while you two use the bathroom and I’ll meet you in there.” We all got out of the car, and Niall got in the driver’s seat while Marnie handed me my purse. He leaned out the car window. “See you in a bit.”

He drove off, and as we walked in, I said to Marnie, “Whoever is done first should get in line for the pizza.” She looked over at the growing line and agreed.

A few minutes later, I was drying my hands on a paper towel, and walking out of the bathroom, when I spotted the guy I’d spilled coffee on that morning getting in line for coffee. I stopped, briefly, staring. Or at least I thought it was brief, because the next thing I knew, Marnie was standing next to me. “Earth to Katharine!” she said, waving her hands in front of my face. “Do you need more coffee?”

“Yeah, probably. You won’t believe this, but the guy I walked into this morning is here.”

“What?!” she exclaimed.

“Shhhh,” I quieted her. “You’re going to blow our cover.”

“Cover?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I don’t really want to make him think I’ve told you about him.”

“But you’re going to go talk to him, right?”

“Okay,” I said uncertainly, “What do I say though?”

“Fancy seeing you here? I don’t know! Just be yourself.”

“All right. I’ll see what I can do. I’ll meet you at a table.” I started walking away.

“And don’t forget to get his name!” Marnie whisper-shouted after me.

I got in line behind the guy, and feigned surprise. “Wow! Who’d’ve thought we’d end up at the same rest stop after this morning?”

He turned around, shock registering on his face. “Hmm, I think you’ve been following me.”

“I don’t even know your name, let alone what kind of car you’re driving,” I teased.

“Louis Tomlinson,” he extended his hand. “And you are?”

“Katharine Redwood,” I said, and we shook hands.

“Well, it’s nice to officially meet you Katharine,” Louis said.

“Likewise. I gotta get back to my friends though. I promised we’d get some pizza. I know it sucks at rest stops, don’t look at me like that,” I added as he made a grossed out face at me.

“At least get sandwiches instead. The pizza here is so sad.”

“Yeah, but it’s a tradition we’ve had since college, so…”

“Yeah, okay, I get it,” he said. “Go, get back to your friends.”

“I need one more thing from you before I go though,” I said, my voice surprisingly not wavering despite how nervous I was. “Your number.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sure. Gimme your phone.”

I surrendered my phone to Louis and he punched in his number. He handed it back with a coffee emoji next to his name and I laughed. “Here, let me text you so you have mine.”

K: Katharine Redwood

Now you have my number too

L: Thanks. Saving you as a contact :)

I gave Louis a wave and returned to my friends, who, of course, had been watching us interact from afar with rapt interest. They also had gotten me pizza while I’d been talking to him, which I really appreciated.

“So?” they asked.

“His name’s Louis and I got his number.” They cheered and I shushed them. “Shut up! He’ll hear you.”

“What kind of name is Louis, though? Is he French or something?” Marnie asked.

“What? No. I think he’s probably from Philly, like us. Somewhere near there, anyway. I assume. I don’t actually know.”

“Sounds kind of pretentious if you ask me,” she said.

“He didn’t name himself,” I reminded her.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Marnie agreed as we finished eating.

We got up, throwing away our trash, and walking back to my car. We climbed back into the vehicle and got back on the highway.

FRIDAY, ABOUT 2:00 PM, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS

“I don’t know why we decided to drive instead of flying,” I complained. “I can’t find a parking spot anywhere.”

“Just go to a parking garage, Katharine,” Niall chided. “Honestly.”

“But it’s for the whole weekend, and they’re so expensive.”

“We’re splitting the cost, remember? Let’s just find one and park in it,” Marnie agreed with her boyfriend.

“Okay, fine,” I conceded.

I drove into a parking garage, and found a spot. We got our suitcases out of the trunk, and walked the few blocks to the hotel where the wedding would be held. We got our room keys, and made our way to our separate rooms. When I got in mine, I set an alarm on my phone and collapsed into the bed for a short nap.

FRIDAY, ABOUT 5:45 PM, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS

I woke up suddenly to someone pounding on the door. Disoriented by my surroundings, I sat up slowly, and looked around, my eyes landing on the digital clock on the nightstand.

“KATHARINE ARE YOU ALIVE IN THERE?” Marnie shouted, her voice muffled by the door. I got up and threw the door open. “Shit,” she cursed. “You’re supposed to be ready by now! We have to be at the rehearsal dinner in half an hour!”

I looked down at myself, and looked back up at Marnie in her dress, made up perfectly, and let loose a stream of curses that would’ve made a sailor blush.

“We can do this,” she mumbled. “We can do this,” she repeated, more confidently. “Go take the fastest shower of your life, and I’ll get out your dress and your make up.

“Okay,” I mumbled, still half asleep.

“Get in while the water’s still cold,” she instructed me. “You need the shock to your system to wake you up.”

I nodded and gave a pseudo-salute.

FRIDAY, EXACTLY 6:11 PM, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS

Breathing hard, Marnie and I ran out of the elevator and into the ballroom. The rehearsal dinner was only for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and close family of the bride and groom. We, thankfully, did not have to wear matching outfits for this, but Niall was not allowed to come, even though he was Marnie’s date, because there were ‘already too many people coming to the dinner.’

“We made it!” I choked out.

“Yes, and you’re actually on time,” Lily, the bride, said, sounding a little surprised.

“Actually, we’re four minutes early,” Marnie corrected her, looking at her watch.

“Hmm, so you are,” Lily agreed, and floated off to greet someone else.

Marnie and I found our seats at the table, and I looked around. I was glancing around the room, trying to gauge which of the younger men might be single, when I locked eyes with someone familiar. Rob, my ex and the best man, was standing across the room staring at me. I saw him making his way over so I turned and tried to make conversation with Marnie. Unfortunately, she was engrossed in a conversation with Lily’s sister.

“Shit,” I cursed under my breath. We’d had a messy breakup and I didn’t really want to talk to him. I’d broken up with him and I knew he was still in love with me. Every time we ran into each other, it was beyond awkward, and I was the one who had introduced him to his best friend, Oscar, the groom, which is how he ended up as the best man. Every day leading up to the wedding, post-breakup, I cursed myself for having made the introduction.

Before Rob reached the table, I pulled out my phone, desperate for a distraction and a way to ward him off. I ended up texting Louis, out of all the people in my phone, hoping that his rehearsal dinner wasn’t about to start, like mine.

K: Hey, hope your cousin hasn’t turned boring :P

L: Haven’t gotten the chance to say hi to him yet actually

Running late

K: To your own third (?) cousin’s rehearsal dinner??? Shame on you

L: Yeah I know

I’m one of the groomsmen too

K: How’d that happen?

I thought you said you hadn’t talked to him in forever

L: Idk

I think his fiancee wanted a huge wedding with a big bridal party

And he didn’t have enough friends or something

K: Oops

L: Anyway I gtg I’m about to get to the hotel restaurant where they’re having the dinner

Marnie shoved my shoulder. “Stop looking at your phone. They’re about to start serving the food. What’re you so smiley about anyway?”

“What?” I said, looking up. “I’m just texting Louis.”

“Oh, setting up a booty call for later?” she winked.

“God no! I was just trying to avoid having to talk to Rob.”

“Well, you’ve been successful. He’s over there talking up one of Oscar’s cousins. Looks like he’s trying to set up a post-dinner hook up.”

I snorted. “He’s not that smooth, I promise. Watch.”

As we spied on the interaction from afar, Oscar’s cousin slapped Rob across the face.

“Ooh,” Marnie cringed, “That’s going to leave a mark.”

“It’s what he deserves,” I laughed.

Just then, the door to the hotel restaurant burst open, revealing Louis. “Sorry I’m late!” He apologized to the room at large.

“You’re all right,” Oscar called to him. “They haven’t started serving the food yet. Just find your place card.”

Meanwhile, I’d gone wide-eyed. Marnie turned to me and asked, “Isn’t that your guy?”

“Mhm,” I squeaked.

Thankfully for me, I wasn’t seated anywhere near Louis and was able to avoid him for the rest of the evening, escaping to my hotel room as soon as it was acceptable.

SATURDAY, ABOUT 2:15 AM, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS

I was having trouble sleeping because I was worried about the Louis situation and the unfamiliar bed wasn’t helping. I was going to have big bags under my eyes in all of Lily and Oscar’s wedding photos. I got out of bed, and texted Marnie to see if she was awake. She was, so I grabbed my room key and padded over to her room down the hall. She’d told me Niall was snoring like a lion so I would have to knock loudly. I banged on the door and got no response, so I hit it a little harder. Finally, I heard some movement from the room. The door opened to reveal, not Marnie or Niall, but a disheveled and sleepy Louis.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry Louis. I was trying to find my friend’s room. She must’ve given me the wrong room number,” I said in a rush, backing away from the door slowly.

“Katharine?” he asked.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I squeaked.

“What’re you doing here?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

“I was looking for my friend Marnie’s room, but she gave me the wrong room number.”

“Oh. Okay. G’night.”

“Good night, Louis. See you around.” I went back to my room.

Somehow I knew that Marnie had found out Louis’ room number and given it to me in place of her own, but I was too tired to care. My trip down the hall had actually made me sleepy, so I got back into bed and fell asleep immediately.

SATURDAY, ABOUT 3:45 PM, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS

“So, Katharine, you’ll be walking down the aisle arm in arm with Oscar’s cousin Louis,” Lily told me. A weird look must’ve crossed my face because she added, “You know him?”

“Not really,” I said. “Only in passing.”

“Mhm,” she said, only half paying attention, as her hair was being done, and she was reading off a list of bridesmaid/groomsman pairings.

I was church-ready, as was Marnie, so we sat together amongst the five other bridesmaids, including the maid of honor, who were all gossiping about single men they were hoping would be at the wedding. Finally, after I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned to Marnie and asked her, “Did you give me Louis’ room number on purpose last night?”

“No!” she said. I glared at her. “I swear, I didn’t realize until you hadn’t shown up after ten minutes that I’d given you a wrong room number.”

“Then how did I end up at his room?” I asked angrily.

“Pure coincidence,” she said.

“There’s no way.”

“Face it Katharine, the universe is throwing the two of you together for some reason. And I think I know what it is,” she wiggled her eyebrows at me.

“Oh shut up,” I laughed.

SATURDAY, A LITTLE BEFORE 6:00 PM, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS

We were lining up to walk down the aisle when I caught sight of Louis looking pretty attractive in his tux. While I was staring, he looked up and I turned red, embarrassed to be caught in what I was doing. Shock registered on his face, and then he mouthed “Is that really you?” at me.

I nodded slightly, so as not to mess up my carefully done hair.

The music started, and we linked arms and walked down the aisle. He said something to me as we were walking, just before we separated and went to our separate sides of the altar, but I couldn’t hear him over the music.

We took our places, then the music swelled, and Lily floated down the aisle, arm in arm with her father. She looked radiant. I took a peek at Oscar and he was smiling and crying and looking like it was the best day of his life.

They had written their own vows. Oscar went first and his were touching and beautiful, but there were a few lines in Lily’s that stood out to me more than any other bit, despite its simplicity. “It was pure coincidence that we sat next to each other in that lecture hall on the first day of that semester. And it was pure coincidence that we were assigned as partners on the final project, given that we sat nowhere near each other for the rest of the semester. But it was no coincidence that we fell in love, because you really are my other half.”

By the end of the ceremony, all the bridesmaids and groomsmen were crying. We were given a few minutes with the makeup artists before we went outside to take the wedding photos. It was a chilly day in early October and it wasn’t long before I was shivering in my strapless dress. Louis sidled over and offered me his suit coat, which I accepted gratefully.

“I saw you crying during the ceremony,” he said.

“Your eyes weren’t dry either,” I noted.

Ignoring me, he continued. “You look beautiful in that dress. I tried to tell you in the church but I guess you couldn’t hear me over the music.”

I blushed and nodded. “Thank you.”

“Is that douche of a best man really your ex?”

“Unfortunately.”

“How long were you together?”

“Too long,” I said. “Oh, no. He’s coming over.”

“No, he’s not,” Louis said. “Oh, shit, never mind, he is definitely headed this way and he has murder in his eyes.”

As Rob approached, he bellowed, “WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY GIRL?”

“Um, I’m not your girl,” I said. “We broke up in January, in case you forgot.”

“Besides, Katharine’s not a girl, she’s a woman,” Marnie said. I hadn’t seen her come over and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“I’m Oscar’s distant cousin, Louis,” Louis said, calmly, “And I saw that Katharine was cold, so I offered her my suit coat. I didn’t even know her name until yesterday.”

Rob deflated a bit. “Doesn’t explain why… never mind. Fuck you Katharine. You too Marnie. And you too Louis. Or whatever the fuck your name is.” He stomped off.

“Thanks for helping me get rid of him, you guys,” I said.

SATURDAY, ABOUT 9:45 PM, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS

I was tipsy. Not enough to completely lose my inhibitions, but I was a little looser than usual. That had to explain why I was dancing with Louis the way I had all night. The wedding reception was drawing to a close. I’d had too much to drink closer to the beginning of the party, but for the most part, that had gotten out of my system due to the near-gallon of water that I had also had.

The night was bound to end with me in Louis’ bed or him in mine, but that’s not what I wanted. I mean, I kind of did, but I’d had way too much fun with him, dancing and talking and making fun of Rob striking out with every single woman he tried to hit on.

“Go on a date with me when we’re back in Philly,” I whispered to him during a slow dance.

“Okay,” he whispered back, then kissed me softly.

***

The night we danced together for the first time, it was cold and I’d run out of explanations for how we’d met.

[nadziejastar]

I haven’t been the kh fandom long, but whenever I see the old sea salt content (Axel and Roxas) I see fans shipping them romantically and sexually together. And it’s fucking gross. Axel is an adult and Roxas is a child. And I see a good chunk of Axel/Roxas content, which is one factor on why the sea salt dynamic is super popular. Which again, gross.

Don’t forget the Roxas x Axel shippers who thinks it’s cute to ship a grown man and a child together. Like one of the reasons why Roxas and Axel fandom kinda bug me. People who LOVE to over step boundaries and do gross shit

Oh, yeah. I’ve been a fan for a long time, and it’s always bothered me. It was so big, especially after KH2. Honestly, I never understood why. I think the trolls I get are shippers. They’ll send me angry messages about how much they HATE seeing my posts in the tags all the time. You think they’d just…ya know, block me if that was the case? It’s really not that hard. But no. Of course they don’t. They have to personally message me, lol. I guess it makes them feel better?

Being Special

When it comes to what befell our late comrades at Castle Oblivion, ambiguity suits me just fine. But the Keyblade master and Roxas come out and say every little thing that comes to mind. Maybe that’s human, or maybe they’re just special.

I can’t stop anyone from shipping Axel/Roxas. But I honestly don’t know how anyone saw it as romantic from an objective standpoint, especially after Days. In KH2, Roxas made Axel feel like he had a heart.

We don’t have hearts, so we accept the facts we’re given as the truth. But something far more important lies behind that truth. Saïx would laugh at people with no hearts calling one another friends, but that doesn’t make it not so. As the Nobody of the hero of the Keyblade and the Replica of that Nobody, these two are special. Unique in every sense of the word.

But Sora and Xion made him feel the same way. And he didn’t even know Sora personally. I think it was extremely important that Saïx didn’t think people without hearts could be friends. Axel was desperately lonely when he met Roxas and this cannot be overlooked. He and Sora were both special to Axel.

Axel: Love is what happens if there’s something really special between two people.

Roxas: You mean, like, if they’re best friends?

Axel: Well, you can care about your friends, I guess, but that’s not what I’m talking about.

But not in this kinda way. I also find Roxas/Axel gross. And creepy. When I see Axel/Roxas art it just feels so degrading to Axel. He’s SO much better than that. He enjoyed Roxas’ company because he was so pure and innocent. Being romantic with Roxas was the last thing on his mind. The whole idea was that Roxas and Xion are like Sora. He has the pure heart of a child, and can connect to many people. Axel was one of those people. They were special to Axel because they made him remember who he used to be.

Roxas: If I had a heart, you think I could love somebody?

Axel: Once Kingdom Hearts is complete, you’ll be able to do all kinds of things.

Roxas: That’s good.

Axel is not the type of person who would be interested in someone who he didn’t have an equal relationship with. Axel had to teach Roxas basic facts about life and human relationships. He didn’t know what friends were, or what love was. He was 15, but a lot of the time he was more like a little kid due to his amnesia. They were NOT on equal levels. Any romantic interest in Roxas would be exploitative and gross. I was happy with how Days handled Axel/Roxas.

Xion’s Conception

Where did the initial concept for the character Xion come from? Was she perceived before the completion for Kingdom Hearts 2?

Nomura: The name Xion and her background story was thought of and constructed during the production of this title, but we actually had the concept for a girl character like Xion drawn up since Roxas’s defection from Organization XIII. Therefore during the production of this title, we just worked on expanding on the ideas we had for that girl character and wrote Xion’s story around that concept.

Nomura said they came up with the idea of a girl around the time they imagined Roxas’ defection. Personally, I think one of the reasons he emphasized this point was because he was taken aback by the Roxas/Axel shipping. I think the huge popularity of the ship made Nomura and the team uncomfortable, since it’s not really…appropriate. I definitely think he wanted to distance himself from that interpretation, since he loves Axel, and that was not the impression he wanted his character to leave. I think Axel was always envisioned as a lonely guy, who had a tragic life history. He was an assassin, after all. But he was cool and decent. He wasn’t like all of the other members. He wasn’t supposed to come off like he was a sexual predator interested in a kid. That’s not cool.

How did you come up with Xion, who became such a key person in the storyline?Nomura: We showed how Roxas left Organization XIII in KH2. At the same time as we were polishing off the KH2 project, we had assumed to a certain extent what Roxas’ movements were during the time period when Days happens, and thought that “Roxas definitely left the Organization because of the influence of someone close to him.” And, we thought that “someone” should be a girl his own age. Flowing from that, we began to construct the storyline, beginning with Xion’s existence.

They thought a girl his own age should be the main influence causing him to leave. Roxas/Axel being the only important people in each others’ lives would send the wrong message. Xion was a necessary member of the trio to send the right message. 358/2 Days went out if its way to distance itself from the shippy interpretation of Axel/Roxas.

Xion’s memories were really Sora’s. But the form she had taken was reminiscent of Kairi. And that was because of Sora’s memories inside Roxas—the memories that knew Kairi as someone precious to him. Like Xion had become someone precious to Roxas.

I remember thinking that when I first played it ten years ago, too. It’s not that Roxas didn’t care about Axel. But Xion was special to him. That kind of special. The game was not even subtle about it. Roxas had a love interest and it was NOT Axel. He wasn’t broken up when he parted with Axel like he was with Xion. Their scene was really intimate. Roxas cried. Their Mystery Gear is “Aubade”. An aubade is a morning love song or poem about lovers separating at dawn. It’s the morning version of a serenade. And since both Roxas and Xion were influenced by Sora and Kairi’s memories, it made sense that they were the primary couple. Sora’s memories of Kairi are his most precious. That’s what Roxas and Xion’s whole relationship was about.

Roxas likes Girls

Xaldin: All the servants speak highly of her. It’s only fitting someone so well regarded would be given such fine lodgings.

Roxas: She’s pretty, isn’t she?

Roxas was like Ventus.

Merryweather: Stop, you get away from her!

Ven: Wha– Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful.

Unlike Axel, he noticed pretty girls. He didn’t express any interest in Axel that way (thank God). But he took a particular interest in Xion right away.

Axel: Did something happen yesterday?

Roxas: Nah, it’s nothing.

Axel: …Girls sure are complicated, huh?

Roxas had girl issues. Axel was amused by it. He knew Roxas liked Xion and he couldn’t have cared less. Because he didn’t look at Roxas that way.

Roxas: How did you know that’s what I was thinking?

Axel: Because you’re not so complicated. But don’t take it personal. Most Nobodies aren’t.

Roxas: You mean…real people are more complex than us?

Axel: Well, sure! Especially if they’re real and female. That’s like a double dose of complicated.

Axel thinks he’s not complicated. It’s his way of saying that they’re not on equal levels, psychologically. As an adult, Axel can’t relate to Roxas in the necessary way to have an intimate relationship.

Axel: Well, just give her some time.

Roxas: Why?

Axel: Because if you rush in there and try to fix things, you’ll just press more buttons.

Roxas: Fine, whatever.

Axel: Ha ha. You’re all right, kid.

Roxas: Don’t call me “kid”!

Roxas: Stop laughing!

Axel even calls him “kid”.

Ven: What does THAT mean?

Terra: You’ll find out someday, I’m sure.

Ven: I wanna know now.

Terra: You’re too young to know now.

Ven: Quit treating me like a kid.

Like Terra did with Ven. And he hated it just as much as Ven did. It was clear to me that Terra and Aqua were on the same level with each other, and related to Ven differently. Roxas and Xion were on equal levels, and related to Axel differently.

Roxas/Xion & Sora/Kairi

Axel: Roxas… Xion is like a mirror that reflects you.

Roxas: What?

Axel: The Organization made her to duplicate your powers. She’s a puppet.

Roxas: Have you gone nuts? Xion’s a person, not a puppet.

Axel: She’s smoke and mirrors, Roxas. And when I looked in the mirror…It wasn’t you I saw.

Roxas: I don’t know what you’re talking about, but Xion is Xion. You can’t expect her to be me.

Axel: That’s not what I mean, Roxas. It was only a matter of time before somebody had to break the mirror.

Roxas got angry when Axel fought Xion.

Roxas: You mean destroy her. Answer me!

Axel: Roxas, if somebody doesn’t, you’ll… You won’t be you anymore.

Roxas: I’ll always be me! Your best friend–just like Xion!

Axel: Roxas, you’re…you’re not seeing the bigger picture. Any of it.

Roxas: Ugh, forget this.

Axel: Roxas! Why can’t you understand…

He wouldn’t listen to what Axel was telling him, even though Axel was trying to save him.

Xion: What, did you two have a fight?

Roxas: I can’t believe that jerk would actually attack you.

Xion: So he’s a jerk now? Roxas, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you if Axel hadn’t done that. He’s your best friend.

Roxas: So are you.

Even Xion defends Axel, and tries to explain that he just did what he had to do. Roxas won’t even listen to her. He can’t think clearly when it comes to Xion. It was like Sora in Castle Oblivion. He wouldn’t listen to Donald and Goofy when they tried to reason with him about Naminé. And since both situations involved memories of Kairi, this made sense.

Xion: Here, I brought you this. It’s a seashell. I’ve been picking one up every time I go out on a mission. Hold it up to your ear.

Roxas is sentimental about the seashells Xion left him. He put them by her bed too, when he was afraid she wouldn’t wake up.

Xion: It’s too late…for me to undo my mistakes. But you can’t let Xemnas…have Kingdom Hearts. You can’t. Good-bye, Roxas. See you again. I’m glad…I got to meet you. Oh…and of course, Axel, too. You’re both my best friends. Never forget. That’s the truth.

It was the only thing she left behind after telling Roxas to never forget. He sheds a tear for her.

Xion: Roxas, don’t be sad. I came from you and Sora. I am you…the same way that I am Sora. You’ll forget me, but the memories themselves will never go away. Memories of you and me will always be together…forever, inside him.

It all suggested to me that Roxas had romantic feelings for Xion. The seashell thing was special—something meaningful only between them. It was very personal, related to their memories of Destiny Islands. Something only they would understand about each other. They’d never forget each other. Like Sora and Kairi.

Axel’s Memories

However there were two parallel stories in Days. Roxas and Xion’s connection to Sora was one. But Axel’s connection to Sora was the other. Xion was born in Castle Oblivion. And Axel changed after coming back from there. He told Roxas Sora rubbed off on him. Sora’s memories of Kairi formed Xion. But his memories of Kairi also had a connection to Axel, too. Axel and Sora had parallel character arcs in Castle Oblivion. He had special memories of his own that nobody else would understand.

Axel: You will need to follow your memories. Trust what you remember and seek what you forget. Then you will find someone very special.

Goofy: You mean King Mickey and Riku?

Axel: You will just have to give some more thought to who it is that’s—most important to you. Our most precious memories lie so deep within our hearts that they’re out of reach. But I’m sure that you can find yours, Sora.

Axel started off trying to manipulate Sora.

Riku: And as long as they’ve got their hands on Sora’s most precious memories–the ones of Kairi–I don’t think Sora will recover.

Sora’s most precious memories were of Kairi. These were going to be the key to manipulating his heart, using Naminé. All of his memories would be replaced, and he’d be under the Organization’s control. But Axel was impressed by the strength of his heart and changed his mind.

“I mean, Demyx doesn’t have a heart, but he’d go nuts if you took his sitar, wouldn’t he?” Roxas tried.

“Huh…you’ve got a point. So, okay, say you don’t need a heart for things to be important to you… Maybe the closest thing we Nobodies have is our pasts. It’s the memories that give things value.”

After coming back, when Axel is asked what’s most important to him, he says it’s his memories of the past.

Day 150: Too Precious to Lose

Xion didn’t come to the clock tower again today. She and Saïx had some kind of argument. Axel and I talked for a while about the things we can’t bear to lose. Axel thinks that for Nobodies, it’s our pasts, because that’s all we have to remember the pain of losing something.

They’re too precious for him to lose—his weakness. Just like Sora’s memories of Kairi were.

Marluxia: In this place, to find is to lose, and to lose is to find. That is the way in Castle Oblivion.

Sora: Castle Oblivion?

Marluxia: Here you will meet people that you have known in the past. And you will meet people you miss.

They are all that’s left to remember the pain of losing something. Which was what Castle Oblivion was all about.

Goofy: Don’t worry, fellahs! We might forget about where we’ve been or what hings we’ve seen, but we won’t forget who are friends are.

Donald: I don’t know…

Goofy: C'mon, Sora, when you turned into a Heartless, did you forget about me and Donald?

Sora: Of course I didn’t!

Goofy: There ya go! No matter what happens, you won’t forget your friends.

Sora: Huh… You’re right. Thank you, Goofy.

Donald: So, if there’s nothing here that can make you forget about your friends…then we have nothing to be scared of! Let’s go!

Axel was intrigued that Sora retained a sense of self after becoming a Heartless. It was because of the strength of his heart. He never forgot his friends. Kairi was even able to change him back because she couldn’t forget him.

Lea: I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people’s memories, I can live forever.

Isa: I know I won’t forget you. Believe me, I try all the time.

Lea: See, I’m immortal!

Axel felt the same way in the past as Sora did. He remembered who he was thanks to being in Castle Oblivion.

Sora: Why me?

Axel: You have lost sight of the light within the darkness. And it seems that you’ve forgotten that you forgot.

Axel knew that Sora’s memories were going to be distorted and he’d forget Kairi.

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we’ll still have each other…even if things change and we can’t do this anymore.

Roxas: Yeah?

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?

But it was really Axel who had forgotten that he’d forgot.

Axel: Would you like me to give you a hint?

Sora: I’m gonna figure it out for myself. If you’re in my way—

Donald: Don’t worry, Sora! We’ll protect you!

Axel: Good answer. Just what I’d expect from the Keyblade master. But be forewarned… When your sleeping memories awaken, you may no longer be who you are now.

He told Sora that he’d no longer be the same after his sleeping memories awakened. 

Naminé: No matter how much I change his memory, Sora will never forget Kairi. Memories of me— More false memories of me will just make his feelings for Kairi even stronger than before. Because…I’m the shadow of Kairi.

But Sora was able to stay the same. Naminé changed sides, and his memories were restored. He wouldn’t even remember Castle Oblivion afterwards.

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone. I’m not the one who changed. You did.

Axel’s words were foreshadowing himself. After his sleeping memories awakened, he’s the one who changed. But he really just went back to being his true self. Axel’s memories of Isa were the equivalent of Sora’s memories of Kairi. Sora slowly forgot who was most important to him. Axel slowly remembered who was most important to him. It’s sad that Lea’s relationship with Isa was so underrated, and got treated with such little respect. If the popularity of the Roxas/Axel ship had anything to do with it, then that is just sad and pathetic.

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (you can be my new addiction)

Chapter 6: because i also want to be rawed by alice cooper in that dress

Chapter Summary: Nobody has a normal sleep schedule, Jughead helps Betty with her totally-not-real issue, the Lodges and Coopers are really gay, and Archie has some scary (but still important to the plot) tendencies.

Notes: mayorlodge: hermione acoop: alice Also, just for clarification, both Hal and Hiram are out of the picture (mostly because it's convenient to the story but whatever). This is a long-ass chapter, so... have fun?

ao3

Wednesday, 12:00 AM

gays united

wannabett: IM BACK!!!

wannabett: as in i finally got my phone back!! im alive again!

nopeaz: you got your phone back at exactly midnight??

wannabett: yep!

hbicheryl: i dont understand you coopers

veroffica: cheryl, you're technically a cooper yourself.

veroffica: and even if you weren't, the blossoms are even worse.

hbicheryl: ugh

hbicheryl: technicalities

spillthefogarTEA: do any of you... actually go to sleep at a reasonable time??

wannabett: no

nopeaz: nah

hbicheryl: nope

veroffica: ha, no.

jugheadalones: definitely not

hisshissmotherfucker: no

goingtoheller: not a chance.

spillthefogarTEA: yeah, me neither

spillthefogarTEA: just checking

hisshissmotherfucker: normal sleep schedules are for the weak

hisshissmotherfucker: natural selection only the dumbasses die

hisshissmotherfucker: im the dumbass

nopeaz: same

jugheadalones: rt

hbicheryl: ^^^^

wannabett: ^^^

wannabett: so

wannabett: yall wanna talk??

hisshissmotherfucker: about how i just realized that fangs and bettys ship name would either be bangs or fetty?? absolutely

goingtoheller: bangs?? can we seriously talk about this?

nopeaz: when you said fetty all i could think of was fetty wap

hbicheryl: no we are NOT doing this now come back to bed and go to sleep RIGHT NOW topaz

nopeaz: as you wish, dear

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: well i need to get my beauty sleep so i can look my emo self tomorrow, so goodnight

[jugheadalones is offline]

spillthefogarTEA: okay i have to admit that we all should get some sleep, but @sweets we are circling back to bangs and fetty later

goingtoheller: ^^

hisshissmotherfucker: i cant help that all my best realizations come when im delirious from lack of sleep but if you say so fangs

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

[spillthefogarTEA is offline]

wannabett: nobody wants to stay up and talk? :(

goingtoheller: i might.

veroffica: i will too.

goingtoheller: nevermind, i'm going to sleep! have fun! ;)

[goingtoheller is offline]

wannabett: i guess its just us

veroffica: want to move this convo to a more private setting, then?

wannabett: sure thing

12:13 AM

wannabett + veroffica

wannabett: hey v

veroffica: hey, b.

veroffica: congrats on finally getting your phone back, btw!

wannabett: i missed you

wannabett: i mean i know that i was only absent for one day and i still managed to call you once

wannabett: but it felt longer than that. more significant

veroffica: i know what you mean. school was hellish (at best) without you there, especially with cheryl being, well, cheryl. i know that she's not half as bad as she used to be, and that toni's helping her to be a kinder person, but sometimes she just doesn't know when to back off.

wannabett: about that, did i ever thank you for standing up for me so vehemently? because i appreciate it

wannabett: you didnt have to but you did anyway

wannabett: and thats what i... uh,, really like about you!!

wannabett: hold on a sec i have to go my moms calling me!

veroffica: at 12:18 am?

veroffica: aaaand you're already gone.

12:18 AM

wannabett + jugheadalones

wannabett: hey jughead quick question

jugheadalones: i did mention earlier that i was going to go to sleep right??

wannabett: please this is really important

jugheadalones: fine, go for it

wannabett: okay hypothetical situation here

wannabett: say this one girl (lets call her lili) has this best friend (lets call her cami) but at one point lili almost says "and thats what i love about you" to cami

wannabett: what does that mean?? is it just a normal platonic friend thing??

jugheadalones: so, this is all strictly theoretical, correct?

wannabett: yes obviously any and all resemblance to real people is purely coincidental haha

jugheadalones: then id say that lili might actually have more-than-platonic feelings for cami

wannabett: do you really think so??

jugheadalones: yep

wannabett: so in this purely made-up circumstance... what should lili do?

jugheadalones: i think that lili should seriously consider telling cami about her feelings for her

jugheadalones: she just might be surprised by what cami says back

wannabett: okay thank you jug

wannabett: for your help on this definitely fake thing that clearly did not occur with undoubtedly nonexistent characters

jugheadalones: sure thing betty

jugheadalones: just next time dont wake me up at midnight

[jugheadalones is offline]

12:23 AM

wannabett + veroffica

wannabett: hey im back

veroffica: finally! it took you long enough!

veroffica: what did your mom want?

wannabett: huh?

wannabett: oh yeah she wanted me to... wash some dishes

veroffica: at 12:18 in the morning??

wannabett: yep its all part of my punishment for getting detention

veroffica: i thought your punishment was just being grounded for one day?

wannabett: well theres also a list of chores that i have to do for her that she can cash in at any point

veroffica: no offence betty, but is your mom satan?? that sounds awful!

wannabett: none taken, she indubitably is

wannabett: and im used to it by now

veroffica: still... i wish i could do something to help.

wannabett: let me move in with you

veroffica: what??

wannabett: thats what you can do to help! i could move into the pembrooke with you if your mom says its okay!

veroffica: i don't know, b... don't you think it's kind of a big step? and what about your mom?

wannabett: what about her? polly didnt ask mom when she moved in with you

wannabett: i understand if you dont want to, but just think about it for a second

wannabett: it would be like having a sleepover every night!

veroffica: i'm still not sure...

wannabett: plus ive been wanting to get closer to you and this could be just what i needed

veroffica: well, i'm on board! i just have to text my mom, she's on a business trip.

12:29 AM

veroffica + mayorlodge

veroffica: hey mom, can betty come live with us?

mayorlodge: does this have any particular reason, or did betty just finally realize that her mother is a bitch?

veroffica: mom!!

mayorlodge: what? i went to school with alice, and she wasn't half as bad then as she is now. i blame hal.

mayorlodge: in fact, she used to be a southside serpent!

veroffica: i know, mom. betty told me.

mayorlodge: leather jackets, flannel... she was gorgeous.

veroffica: if you weren't my mom, i would say 'go for it,' but since you are, i'm going to say 'gross' instead.

mayorlodge: don't give me that. you know as well as i do how easy it is to fall for the cooper women.

veroffica: what are you implying?

mayorlodge: mija, I want you to answer me honestly: do you or do you not have feelings for betty?

veroffica: i... i don't know.

mayorlodge: think about it. and in the meantime, betty can stay over.

veroffica: thanks, mom!

mayorlodge: on one condition, though--alice approves. i don't want to be getting calls from the police because she thinks i'm illegally harboring one of her children.

veroffica: but betty's mom would never agree to this!

mayorlodge: then convince her otherwise.

mayorlodge: goodnight, mija.

[mayorlodge is offline]

12:35 AM

veroffica + wannabett

veroffica: she's in!

wannabett: yes!!!

veroffica: there's one thing, though...

wannabett: oh no

veroffica: your mom has to give her consent.

wannabett: shit

wannabett: stupid minor laws!

wannabett: i guess ill go ask her

wannabett: but im going to do it over text i dont want to be near her when she flies into a rage

veroffica: good luck! please don't die, i'll miss you too much!

wannabett: ill try v

12:38 AM

wannabett + acoop

wannabett: hey mom

acoop: Betty? You do realize that we live in the same house, right?

acoop: Also, what do you want and why are you texting me at this hour?

wannabett: ummmm

wannabett: can i go stay with veronica?

acoop: The Lodge girl?? At the Pembrooke??

wannabett: yes

acoop: For how long?

wannabett: indefinitely

acoop: I'm going to talk to Hermione and then I'll get back to you on this.

wannabett: wow that sounded a lot less like a no than i expected

acoop: Don't push it, Elizabeth.

wannabett: what i meant to say was thank you mother for this incredible opportunity!!

acoop: I haven't agreed yet, Betty.

wannabett: i meant thank you for considering this. it means a lot to me.

acoop: ...Of course.

acoop: Now, you should get some sleep while I consider this further. I'll get back to you later.

12:41 AM

acoop + mayorlodge

acoop: Is this Hermione?

mayorlodge: yes... alice?

acoop: You still have the same phone number from back when we were in high school.

mayorlodge: alice, it's the middle of the night. why are you texting me?

acoop: I have reason to believe that our daughters are going down the same path we once did.

mayorlodge: so you see it too?

acoop: Yes. The two of them are as close as we were back in high school, and we both know where that led.

mayorlodge: i don't want veronica to get her heart broken like i did, but it isn't like we can stop them.

acoop: I'm not talking about this with you right now.

mayorlodge: then when?? ever since we broke up, you've been saying you 'don't want to talk about it,' but it's been DECADES, alice.

mayorlodge: and i thought that i was okay with having no resolution and no explanation, but then at the sodale project opening i saw you in that goddamn red dress, and it all came back to me.

acoop: I'll admit that I regret giving into my parents' wishes and breaking up with you, but it wasn't like there were any other options.

mayorlodge: there are always other options.

acoop: So you're saying that you would've agreed to run away from Riverdale with me, riding around from town to town on my motorcycle?

mayorlodge: ...i would've liked that.

acoop: ... Really?

acoop: It doesn't matter anymore, though. What matters is now. We may not be able to stop Betty and Veronica from falling in love, but we can make sure that we don't end up pushing them apart like our parents did.

mayorlodge: exactly.

acoop: Which is why I want to give Betty my blessing to move in with Veronica.

mayorlodge: you do??

acoop: Why does everyone seem so surprised by this?? I do have a heart!

mayorlodge: trust me, i know.

acoop: Actually, on that note, I was wondering...

mayorlodge: yes?

acoop: When you get back in town, would you like to get a milkshake at Pop's with me, for old time's sake?

mayorlodge: alice cooper, are you asking me on a date?

acoop: Yes I am, Hermione Lodge.

mayorlodge: well, all you had to do was say so.

mayorlodge: i get back on friday. i'll see you then and we can figure out if we still have that same explosive chemistry we used to.

acoop: It's a deal. And if the date just happens to make it back to my house... Well, we'll have it all to ourselves.

mayorlodge: i like the way you think. goodnight, alice.

acoop: Goodnight, Hermione.

[mayorlodge is offline]

1:02 AM

acoop + wannabett

acoop: You can stay with Veronica for as long as you want.

wannabett: really?? thank you so much!!

acoop: Just make sure that you've cleared out by Friday night.

wannabett: why, do you have a hot date?

acoop: The hottest.

wannabett: i was kidding mom!!

acoop: Well, I wasn't.

wannabett: ugh tmi

acoop: Have fun at Veronica's!

[acoop is offline]

1:04 AM

wannabett + veroffica

wannabett: my mom is cool with it!!

veroffica: are my eyes deceiving me, or did alice cooper actually allow her underage daughter to move out??

wannabett: its insane isnt it? she said that she has a date on friday so that might be why shes so mellow

veroffica: hmm, do you think that it's one of the hot dads of riverdale™ or some new contender??

veroffica: maybe... one of the hot moms of riverdale™ (lesser known but just as hot)?

wannabett: whoever it is they seem to make her happy so i approve

wannabett: also i really hope that they dont break up and return my mom to her former angry state

wannabett: so lets take advantage of this while we still can!

veroffica: i can have smithers drive us over to your house tomorrow after school and then we can pack up your stuff! sound good?

wannabett: sounds great. i can't wait, see you tomorrow v!

veroffica: ditto, b.

[veroffica is offline]

[wannabett is offline]

2:28 AM

beronica shippers

spillthefogarTEA: guys i was just talking to archie and he told me that he has some hot tea to spill about our favorite oblivious wlw!! can i temporarily add him to the chat?

hisshissmotherfucker: why were you talking to andrews hes an asshole

hbicheryl: archie isnt an asshole hes a dumbass

hbicheryl: youre just jealous sweet pea

hisshissmotherfucker: why would i be jealous of ginger troy bolton??

hbicheryl: uh because youre jealous of anyone else who spends time with fangs??

nopeaz: ooh yes expose him baby

spillthefogarTEA: as much as i appreciate sweet pea not wanting me to talk to archie and choni trying to find ulterior motives in everything he says, i still need an answer to my question! can i add him or not?

hbicheryl: im all for learning whatever "heterosexual" nonsense b&v have gotten into this time

nopeaz: ^^

spillthefogarTEA: sweets?

hisshissmotherfucker: hes a fucking NORTHSIDER

spillthefogarTEA: please? for me?

hisshissmotherfucker: ...fine.

spillthefogarTEA: great! im also going to add jughead and kevin while im at it because they are both also beronica shippers in their own right

spillthefogarTEA has added jugheadalones, goingtoheller, and arch to the chat

spillthefogarTEA: for those of you who dont know--jughead and kevin--archie has some fresh beronica gossip, you in for listening?

goingtoheller: hell yes, lay it on us.

jugheadalones: i supoose since im already awake and probably too invested in their relationship

jugheadalones: but the next time these two do something interesting, it better be at a time when im NOT TRYING TO SLEEP

hbicheryl: lmao doubtful but sure

spillthefogarTEA: archie, please begin your tale

arch: so i was sitting in my room lifting weights when i saw, with my super-good eyesight, betty texting veronica

arch: and through my undoubtedly-impossible-and-kinda-creepy observance, i noticed that betty is pulling a polly!!

goingtoheller: she's pregnant with one of the blossom twins' (by now, it's just cheryl though lmao) twin children??

arch: no...

jugheadalones: shes been sent to the sisters of quiet mercy?

arch: no

hbicheryl: shes given birth to my children and has given them horrendous names like juniper and dagwood??

arch: no!! this is too hard to guess, so ill just tell you. she wants to move in with veronica at the pembrooke!

nopeaz: what did she say?? "hey, i want to live with you, but like, platonically"??

arch: um essentially

arch: but then i observed something that is both MUCH more shocking and a significant development!!

arch: mrs cooper and mayor lodge used to be dating, mayor lodge is gay for mrs cooper in that red dress that she wore to the sodale opening, and theyre going to a date on friday!!

arch: the end! have fun gays, gotta go!

arch has left the chat

goingtoheller: well, that is... a lot to process.

hbicheryl: i relate to hermione lodge

hbicheryl: because i also want to be rawed by alice cooper in that dress

nopeaz: id feel threatened if i didnt also know that alice cooper is also essentially your great cousin in law

hbicheryl: oh darling dont you know that incest runs in the family?

hbicheryl: jason and polly, my mother and my father... and thats just the tip of the iceberg

nopeaz: im concerned again

hisshissmotherfucker: so to summarize the lodges and coopers are gay for each other and archie has freaky good eyesight that is not humanly possible but is necessary to the story because it helps add important info to the plot??

goingtoheller: when you say it like, it sounds like we're characters in a book.

hisshissmotherfucker: honestly i always thought of myself as more of a character in a fanfiction for a bad cw show

2:38 AM

jugheadalones + wannabett

jugheadalones: ive just been informed by archie that you are planning to move in with veronica

wannabett: what the hell?? how did archie know that??

jugheadalones: he said he saw your texts from his room

wannabett: damn his terrifying and freakishly good eyesight

jugheadalones: so... this wouldnt happen to have anything to do with lili and camis mythical dilemma, would it?

wannabett: nahhh of course not

jugheadalones: well, if you ever do need to talk, im here for you, okay? i may not be good at giving relationship advice, but ive been told that im a good shoulder to cry on.

wannabett: whenever i need help ill make sure to talk to you first, but im really okay now. thanks jug.

jugheadalones: ofc

[jugheadalones is offline]

[wannabett is offline]

Notes: Alice and Hermione have too much sexual tension to have not dated in high school, and the flashback episode pretty much only proves it. I mean, did you see Alice when she was younger?? That whole look screams lesbian! Anyways...

Comments validate me!! You can leave 'em here or at my ao3 account, lgbtqshipper, where pretty much all I do is complain about Riverdale and how I wish that it was gayer (so nothing different).

In the next chapter, Betty will finally be forced to answer for her sins oblivious homosexuality ft. Choni sexts (again, but I swear, this is the last time)!!

[errantknightess]

Flavour of the day

Pairing: none // gen chocobros

Word count: 1,800

Summary: The saddest thing about Altissia is that the ice cream melts too fast

[Read on AO3]

The mild oceanic climate of Altissia was a lie. A merciless advertising scam, if Prompto were to be completely honest. They had maybe four hours in the morning before the temperature spiked way out of a tolerable range, and they never managed to drag Noct out of bed early enough to use that time. Now, a little past noon, the open bridges and plazas turned into a frying pan. Those smooth white walls might have looked like sculpted from snow, but up close they were almost scalding. Even the gentle breeze lifting from the canals didn’t help much. Prompto squinted at the waves lapping lazily at the sides of a passing gondola. What a heartless monster could build a city right on the water and then ban swimming?

“Guys, I think I’m dying,” he whined.

“If you can still think, surely it can’t be that bad.” Ignis’s voice was light and even, as if he hadn’t just climbed up and down a dozen flights of stairs under the blistering sun. Somehow, he still looked fresh as a daisy in his impeccable button-up; he barely rolled up his sleeves.

“Seriously!” Prompto wheezed, flopping against the bannister and flinching away just as quickly when the stone burned his bare arm. “Let’s find some shade before we all drop from heatstroke.”

Gladio snorted. He, at least, had the decency to sweat a bit.

“You climbed an active volcano and you can’t handle a little sun?”

“Easy for you to say, big guy. You’re not even wearing a shirt!”

“You can lose yours, too. Who’s stopping you?”

“No way, man!” Prompto tugged at his vest, flapping the thick denim in a vain attempt to fan himself with it. “This is my style. I can’t just ditch it!”

“If you say so.” Gladio clapped him on the back and walked past, into yet another sunlit street. Prompto followed him closely, trying to stay in the patch of shadow he cast and not be too obvious about it. Up ahead, Noct was already checking out his third fishing spot that day. This time, thank the gods, it was shaded.

“Dude, tell me this is a good place. I wanna stay here forever.” Prompto plopped down next to him, sprawling flat and boneless across the pier. The chilly paving against his skin was just about the best feeling ever. “Ugh, I feel like I’ve been cuddling with Ifrit.”

Noct nudged him with his foot, eyes never leaving the greenish depth before them.

“You okay?”

“I’ll live.” With a sigh, Prompto rolled over on his stomach to face the graceful buildings lining the other bank. The tall towers and colonnades piercing the clear blue sky shone like beacons, beckoning. Usually, watching Noct fish could get pretty boring – but not here. He could never get enough of those sights.

The camera appeared in his hands as soon as he thought of it, pure instinct at this point. He snapped a few shots right from where he sat, catching the whole waterfront panorama bit by bit. The sun was high, drawing deep shadows around the edges of carved facades and casting sparks off the rippling waves below. It hurt his eyes even through the viewfinder. With a flick of his hand, Prompto dismissed the camera back to the Armiger, but stayed on the lookout, drinking in the views all around.

Behind his back, the street opened into a small square, packed with people and bursting with colours. He spotted Ignis not far away, checking out some paintings at one of the stalls along the wall. Prompto’s eyes swept over the booths, over flowers and souvenirs – and stopped at something much more interesting.

“Hey, Noct!” he called, tapping his friend on the shin to get his attention. “Look!”

Noct didn’t look. Didn’t even look like he heard him. But Gladio did, and that was good enough.

“What is it?” he asked, in a tone that suggested anything would be better than sitting there and watching Noct lose the staring contest with the Cygillan Sea Bass. Prompto perked up, sending him a grateful glance behind their prince’s back.

“Over there.” He pointed to a stand at the far end, a little green cart with a glass lid and a sign that made his overheated heart sing with joy.

“Gelato?” Gladio peered at the letters with a thoughtful frown. “Might not be a bad idea. Hey, princess! Want some ice cream?”

Miraculously, Noct looked up at last, putting his rod away in a flash of blue light.

“Sure,” he said.

Prompto missed the shade as soon as they left the pier, but the closer they got to the cart, the more he became sure it was worth it. The mere sight of the overflowing tubs sparkling with frost on the edges made him feel cooler already.

“What have we here?” Ignis joined them in three quick strides, his eyes sharp as he studied the glass case.

“The ultimate Altissian dessert!” The nice older lady at the counter lit up with pride. “The same original recipe for over eighty years, in twenty three unique flavours. Care to get some, boys?”

“We gotta try, right?” Prompto looked pleadingly at his friends, even though the answer was obvious.

“Of course!” Ignis put on a small smile, the closest equivalent to giddy in his body language. “It would be a shame not to taste the local cuisine when the opportunity arises.”

The vendor gave him a little nod, clearly pleased to meet a fellow enthusiast of the craft. “What would you like, then?”

“The Veldorian wine sounds good.” Gladio looked up from the list on the display and dug in his pocket for loose change. “It says here it’s made with real wine, that true?”

“That’s right!” The vendor beamed at him as she handed him the cone. “Great choice, it’s one of our most popular flavours. What’s next?”

“Some of these seem rather unconventional.” Ignis tapped his chin, and it was plain to see he could barely keep himself from making notes right on the spot. “I’m feeling adventurous. Perhaps… Chocolate chili, please.”

Prompto whistled, camera at the ready. No way he could miss that expression.

“Whoa, Iggy! How’s that supposed to cool you down?”

The vendor smiled a knowing smile and passed Ignis his heaping scoop.

“Oh, it will do the job just fine, dear. And for you?”

“Man…” He could go cross-eyed looking at this rainbow of flavours. “So many choices… I have to think! Okay, okay, okay, ummm… Ulwaat berries?”

“Here you are.” And wow, that cone really deserved a photo, but Prompto was too afraid he’d drop it to risk maneuvering with the camera. He’d just have to treasure this memory forever in his mind.

“It’s so hard to decide, right?” He turned to Noct, stepping aside to make room for him in front of the display – but Noct didn’t even spare it a glance.

“Yeah,” he grunted and gave the vendor a slanted smile. “I don’t know. Surprise me.”

“Very well.” The vendor seemed surprised too, but she piled a generous scoop from a tub on the far end. “I hope you enjoy!”

Enjoy didn’t even start to describe it. As they weaved through the crowd, trying not to smear their precious treats onto passing people, Prompto felt closer to heaven with every second. Altissian gelato was so much better than the ice pops he’d had before – thick and creamy, and didn’t taste like licking the freezer door. There were even whole berries in it, too, bursting on his tongue like tiny bombs of vibrant flavour.

“This wine really packs a punch,” Gladio muttered, a praise he hardly ever doled out during training.

“Hope it doesn’t go to your head,” Prompto chuckled.

“No way. I’m not a lightweight like you to get drunk on a scoop of ice cream.”

“I dunno, dude. As our friend Dino would say, it’s a real big scoop.”

“Enough,” Gladio groaned and bit into his ice cream as if he wanted to freeze that pun out of his brain. Beside him, Ignis winced with abject horror.

“Have mercy, Gladio, this is no way to eat that.”

“What? This?” Gladio took another bite, looking him straight in the eye. Ignis squirmed, his face a perfect blend of misery and discomfort.

“Honestly. How can you stand doing this? Do try to savour it a little. Your teeth will thank you as well.”

Gladio’s teeth sank into the scoop again, unperturbed. “It’s faster this way.”

“Positively barbaric,” Ignis sighed fondly and reached to wipe a dollop of ice cream off Gladio’s nose. Gladio huffed, but didn’t stop him.

“What can I do, it’s good stuff.” He shrugged. “I’m not gonna wait for it to melt all over me like Prince Snoozy over here.”

Prompto glanced over to Noct, just in time to see a fat drop of ice cream slowly roll down the side of his cone.

“Watch out, Noct! You’re leaking!”

“Where?” Noct tipped his cone dangerously, and Prompto’s stomach twisted with fear for all that poor, beautiful ice cream.

“No, the other side! The other!”

“Don’t see it.”

“Dude.” Giving up, Prompto swooped in and licked the dripping bit before it could make a mess. Noct stared at him, barely restraining a smile.

“Gross,” he said flatly.

“Nah, it’s pretty good.” Prompto quickly turned back to his own cone to save it from sharing the same fate. “What is it, mango?”

“No idea.” Noct shrugged. “Didn’t see what she gave me.”

“I should taste it for you.” Gladio nudged him on the shoulder. “You know, just in case. It’s my duty as your Shield. Who knows what’s in it, right?”

Noct quickly moved his cone away from him.

“I’m halfway done with it already. Bit late for that.”

“Better safe than sorry.” Gladio leaned over and took a solid lick of Noct’s ice cream. “Hmmm, this is good. Hey, Iggy, give it a try!”

“I’m quite all right with my own, thank you.”

“No, Ignis, you should totally try it!” Prompto goaded, immediately catching on to that impish glint in Gladio’s eye. “Maybe you can figure out what flavour it is!”

“Yeah, and maybe it will inspire you for some new recipe.”

“You guys are horrible,” Noct decided, protectively stuffing half of his cone into his mouth.

“But that’s why you love us.” Prompto summoned his camera, mindless of the berry goop trickling over his fingers. He clicked the shutter button time and again, capturing Noct’s indignant face full of ice cream, Ignis stealing a lick from Gladio, all four of them with colourful smears over their smiles. They came out a bit blurry, with the blazing Altissian sun behind their backs, but it didn’t matter. Those were still some of the best shots he’d ever taken.

[maxhoemo]

max/chad pt. 3

tw; transphobia

Chad’s mom was the coolest. So much cooler than Max’s parents. Max preferred staying over at their house as much she could. Their house was huge, Chad’s room was the entire attic. Well, it was more of a loft than an attic. He had everything. Computer, Playstation, X-Box, and unlike Max’s house, their cupboard’s were always filled with snacks. Max’s mom never bought snacks. Also unlike Max’s mom, Chad’s let him have sleepovers on weekdays. Okay, it sounded lame, Max thought, but it meant she could basically spend all her time there if she wanted.

Max and Chad were hanging out in Chad’s room, as they usually were. Max was trying to finish her homework. She never saw Chad do his… She tapped the end of her pencil against the paper impatiently, stuck on a particular question. Tossing the pencil down, she huffed and got up to have a walk around the room. “Jesus Christ, Chad!” She shouted, catching a glimpse of his computer screen. “Are you seriously watching porn right now!?”

“Yeah. What’s the big deal?”

“I’m right here!”

“You’re fucking always here! When else am I ever gonna get a chance?”

Max crossed her arms. She supposed he had a point. Somewhat. She raised an eyebrow looking over his shoulder in pure curiosity. Two generic looking porn stars, a guy and a girl. Of course the girl was blonde, with giant tits and no body hair. Was that really what guys wanted….? Max had never seen porn before. She felt an odd mix of ickyness and lust. It was like a car crash…. She dropped her arms to her sides, biting her lip slightly. She hated being a teenager. Sex scenes in movies, that didn’t show anything, could make her feel horny. But seeing porn was like an entirely different level of horniness. It was like turning on a light switch. Put it in front of her same result every time, like a machine, no matter what. She watched over her friends shoulder, the man lick the woman’s pussy. It was gross seeing a vagina that close…But when the camera focused on her face. The sounds she made….The things she said…That was the part Max liked. “…I wish someone would do that to me….” she blurted out.

“I would do it.” Chad answered immediately, though, nonchalantly.

“You….You wouldn’t know how….” Max retorted, trying to mask her redening face. She felt so stupid for saying something like that! But it was true. She wanted to have sex. At least her body did. But she didn’t want it with Chad. “I’d rather….”

“Kyle Moore! I know….” Chad finished her sentence for her. “Why? Cause he’s athletic? He’s a twat….”

“He’s cute! Anyways, I know you would rather be with her, wouldn’t you?” Max pointed to the woman on screen.

“Nah, I’d way rather fuck you than her.”

“Liar….” Max groaned.

“You’re hot Max, just accept it.”

“Ugh. No I’m not… I hate my body….”

“Why?”

“I don’t know….. It just….It doesn’t feel like it belongs to me, you know?”

“No….”

Max sighed. “I know….It’s so hard to put into words, I don’t really understand it myself. Maybe it’s just puberty, I don’t know….”

Chad shrugged, closing his tab and absent-mindedly refreshing facebook, which was open behind it. “Oh look, Max. Kyle’s status. He’s feeling blessed. What a fucking tool.”

“Shut up! Some people aren’t miserable sacks of crap, you know…”

“You’re thinking with your pussy! He’s a fucking cunt!”

“You just wanna fuck me!”

“Yeah, I do! But that’s got nothin’ to do with it!”

“Just leave me alone….” Max grumbled, going back to her work.

…..

It was well past midnight. Chad was passed out. Max knew she should be asleep. She’d be miserable at school tomorrow. But she had to use Chad’s computer. She didn’t have the privacy at home, and she didn’t want to look this shit up with Chad over her shoulder.

She sat in his chair, wiggling the mouse to wake it up. The first thing that greeted her was Chad’s facebook timeline. Kyle’s status still at the top. She smiled to herself, deciding to click the name. Scrolling through his pictures she sighed. He was so cute. He probably didn’t even know she existed. She frowned. She wanted him so badly….

Opening up a new tab, she typed into google; “how to make a crush notice you…” She scrolled through the results, but nothing looked promising. All the same old shit. Talk to them, dress nice…. She supposed she could give it a try…. She deleted the search, instead typing; “my best friend has a crush on me”. Max laughed to herself as she scrolled. All the results were so mean. She didn’t want to tell Chad to fuck off and never talk to her again, she liked him. Besides, he didn’t really have a crush on her. He just wanted to stick his dick in her cause he was horny and weird, just like she was. If she was less nervous, she might have even let him….She sighed. Erasing that search too. That wasn’t what she really needed help with. She hesitated, fingers trembling as they went to type. She was scared of any answer she might find. What if she was crazy? What if she had a mental illness and needed to go to a hospital? Slowly she typed in; “I’m a girl and I wish I was born a boy….” Again, not very many useful results.  In a new tab, she logged onto good old Fanpop.com. It was the only site she could think of at the moment where she was anonymous, and could ask a community of people her age. She went over to the ‘advice’ page and typed in the exact same question. Maybe someone would feel the same, who knows. Closing the tab, now back over at google. She scrolled down until she found someone else who had asked the same question. She wasn’t familiar with the forum site, but wanted to give it a shot. Just to see what people were saying.

As she began to read the replies, she frowned.

People may try to fill your head with these vague and weird ideas about how you are spiritually male or something like that even though they probably don’t even believe in spirits. They might even suggest that you get a sex change operation. Don’t listen to that nonsense. No one can make you male. You aren’t male. And there’s nothing wrong with being female.

Max huffed angrily. This first guy didn’t have to be such a dick about someone asking a simple question. She didn’t know why he said it was all nonsense. Max thought the idea of her soul being male made perfect sense. But that didn’t really help…. She scrolled to the next answer.

You think of the things that guys do not and would never experience such as giving birth, having monthly periods and the cramps that come with it.

Ugh! That wasn’t it at all! This answer was nicer, but somehow even worse!

Sometimes this dilemma is part of our life lesson: to learn to accept our feminity.

‘I don’t have to accept anything, bitch’ Max thought. These answers weren’t helping at all. Maybe there was no answer. Maybe she was just crazy…. She tapped her finger against the mouse in thought. This first guy had mentioned the sex change operation, just like Chad did when she brought it up to him. Max had definitely heard of it before, maybe that would hold the answer. Maybe it could lead her to some kind of scientific explanation for what she was feeling.  She went back and typed in the phrase.

“Ew!!” She quickly scrolled past the graphic images and videos that popped up, clicking instead on the wikipedia article.

the surgical procedure (or procedures) by which a transgender person’s physical…

Transgender…Now there was a new word. She clicked the link, but was sorely disappointed. The article was hard to read. Filled with jargon and words she didn’t recognize. It was hard to make sense of….She closed the browser in frustration. It was 3am. She needed to sleep.

[stories-and-fan-fictions]

Background: your name is Emily and you have a twin sister her names Linda. You also have two other sisters named Molly and Lulu. You loved your twin a lot!! But....you had a huuuge crush on Andy and well.....molly was married to Robin, Linda was dating Barry and Lulu was married to Maurice. No one has kids yet but molly and Lulu were pregnant. Linda helped you get with Andy a lot since you all worked in the same job as a sound engineer where Andy and his brothers recorded. Your parents are Brian May and Christina May who went by chrissie. Here’s how one day went with Linda in the recording booth with Andy and his brothers. You were in the sound booth where all the magic happens.

Linda: hey Andy I think my twin likes you

Andy: nah I was born to be single forever

Linda: why not go talk to her?

Andy: *he sighs* ok Linda *he walks upstairs to you and hugs you as he always did*

Em: heh *you kiss him*

Andy: *he looks confused* y-you like me? Linda wasn’t lying?

Em: she’s my twin why would she lie?

Andy: I......I don’t know....I guess I didn’t think anyone liked me in that way besides my family.....

Em: *you smile and kiss him reassuringly* Andy....I love you as a boyfriend

Andy: heh haven’t heard that since Olivia.....

Em: *your curiosity takes over* who’s Olivia?

Andy: my ex wife.....we had a daughter together but we split because she cheated

Em: oh Andy I’m so sorry *you hug him comfortingly*

Andy: *he smiles* thanks

Barry: hey Andy come here for a second!! *he yells*

Andy: *he yells back* COMING!! *he looks at you* I’ll be back babe *he kisses you then runs to Barry* yeeees?

Barry: take this *he hands Andy a necklace that has a pure gold chain and a sapphire heart and a locket which doesn’t have a picture in it yet* give this to emily and you can put a picture from your first date when you go on one in the locket

Andy: *he smiles then hugs Barry* you’re the best oldest brother I could ask for Barry

Barry: *he smiles* thanks Andy

Andy: *he nods then runs back upstairs* babe I got you something

Em: what is it? *you sound excited*

Andy: *he hands you the necklace* will you be my official girlfriend? And would you like to go on a date with my tonight?

Em: *you smile brightly* I’d love to *you kiss him and he helps you put the necklace on*

*after 3 hours Andy grabs his car keys and you two walk to his blue Aston Martin car*

Em: nice car Andy *you decide to add*

Andy: thanks *he opens the passenger door for you and you get in then he gets into the driver seat* where would you like to go for dinner?

Em: *you pause and think for a moment* why not just a picnic you know at that romantic look out?

Andy: *he smiles* sure I’ll just have to run home to get the food if you don’t mind

Em: sure!!

*he drives to his mansion then he runs inside telling you to wait in the car for him*

Molly: what are you doing here Andy?

Robin: shouldn’t you be on your date?

Andy: she wants to go on a picnic for our first date at that romantic look out

Robin: me and molly went there for our first date

Barry: so did me and Linda!

Maurice: and Lulu and I did too. Guess it’s a tradition

Andy: I guess so *he snickers*

*molly packs a picnic basket then hands it to Andy*

Andy: thanks mo

Molly: anytime have fun you two!

*he nods and runs to the car setting the picnic basket in the back seat*

Andy: *he looks at you* ready?

Em: ready as I’ll ever be

Andy: *he starts driving there* i-is this your first date ever? I hate to sound rude....

Em: it is and it’s not rude I know you’re curious

Andy: and another odd question.....are you still a Virgin?

Em: *you are 20 after all and it’s kind of embarrassing to say you are when Andy’s not* I....*you mumble: am a virgin*

Andy: it’s nothing to be ashamed of em

Em: I am a virgin

Andy: *he smirks* maybe I can change that tonight?

Em: *you giggle* that’d be amazing

Andy: *he smiles and pulls up at the look out* in the car or outside the car?

Em: why not outside?

Andy: sure I know a great spot *you both get out and he shows you to the spot which is beautiful and you two sit on a blanket and have your picnic*

*after an hour you two head back to the car*

Andy: so....would you like to do it in the car?

*you nod and pull the seat all the way back. You both get undressed and Andy gets on top of you*

Andy: you ready?

*you nod then he pierces you and thrusts fast. He thrusts harder and pants*

*after an hour he releases and pulls out*

*he sits up and looks at you and you do the same*

Andy: well what’d you think of your first time?

Em: it was amazing *you kiss him*

*Andy’s phone rings*

Em: go ahead babe it might be important

Andy: *he nods and answers it* hello?

Olivia: are you still picking up Peta tonight? It’s almost 9:30

Andy: oh shit I forgot!! I’m so sorry I’ll be over soon I promise

Olivia: hope so because you’re getting full custody of Peta

Andy: why?!

Olivia: I can’t care for her anymore

Andy: *he sighs* ok *he ends the call*

Em: something wrong babe?

Andy: well.....I guess it’s good....

Em: what is it? *you say as you get dressed*

Andy: I get full custody of my child because Olivia can’t care for her anymore *he gets dressed too*

Em: oh....how old is she if you don’t mind me asking

Andy: I don’t mind seeing as she’s gonna see you as a mother now. She’s only 10....

Em: oh *you kiss him*

Andy: you’ll be a good mom I know it! *he gets back into the driver seat and starts to drive towards Olivia house*

Em: I’m sure *you say unconfidently*

*he pulls up into Olivia’s drive way and honks*

*peta runs out with all her things and sets them into the trunk with help from Andy then gets into the back*

Andy: are you excited to live with daddy now Peta?

Peta: yeah!!! Who’s that though? *she points to you*

*he looks at you as if to say: what do I tell her?*

*you look at him as if to say: her new mom?*

Andy: *he nods* your new mom....

Peta: yay! She’s very pretty daddy

*you smile*

*he drives home and once all three of you are inside Peta runs to hug everyone*

Barry: so what’s the issue now?

Andy: Peta can you go to your room?

Peta: ok daddy *she runs to her room*

Andy: Olivia can’t take care of Peta anymore so I get full custody *he holds your hand*

*you smile at Andy and kiss him passionately*

*he doesn’t break it as he loves you kissing him*

Barry: really guys? *he walks off with Linda and his kids*

Maurice: not ok *he walks off with Lulu and Adam*

Robin: gross *he walks off with molly and their kids*

Andy: mmmm *he breaks it and looks at you* well?

Em: *you shake your head* tomorrow night *you kiss him*

Andy: mmmok babe *he breaks the kiss and you two walk off to bed*

*next day ima skip to the night time*

Andy: well babe where should we do it now?

Em: *you think for a moment* hot tub?

Andy: heh good choice *he leads you to the hot tub and gets undressed then gets in*

*you do the same*

Em: no one will know right Andy?

Andy: they shouldn’t....*he pierces you and thrusts*

*you kiss him all the way through the sex which lasted an hour then he released and you two kept kissing*

Andy: babe someones gonna find us *he gets out and gets dressed and you do the same*

Em: but....I don’t care!!! *you kiss him passionately clearly not caring anyone could find you*

Andy: mmmm *he doesn’t break the kiss as he loves you kissing him*

Robin: WHAT THE HELL ANDY!!?? *hes clearly pissed*

Andy: NOTHING!!! *he grabs your arm and runs*

Robin: Ugh *he looks at molly*

Molly: idk what that was about....*she kisses him*

Robin: heh *they run back to their room to have fun*

Andy: I told you!

Em: I’m sorry.....

[cuddlysmii7y]

Got a Ride? (Ohmtoonz) ((High School AU))

“Are you sure you can give me a ride? I mean, its no trouble for me to walk home.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! I didn’t get this car just for it to look sexy!” Luke smirked. “I got it to drive around. And for it to look sexy.”

Ryan laughed.

[magicalgirlmascot]

Heya I don't mean to sound passive aggressive in any way, but I was just wondering why is it that you dislike Super a lot? I mean you're allowed to like and dislike whatever you want, and I'm in no way trying to change your opinion. I'm just curious as to why you seem to have a burning hatred for it?

Nah you don’t sound passive aggressive ^^ if you were you wouldn’t have acknowledged that my opinion is a valid one, you’re cool

I’ve avoided going into too much detail to avoid The Discourse, but essentially it comes down to a few main points: ships I don’t like, characters I don’t care about, pacing, terrible one-note characterization, and the fans.

I know a lot of that sounds really petty but with all my Sweet Home Alabama discourse yesterday are any of you surprised

I’m going to put my more detailed reasoning under a cut because boy howdy it is long and I have some Things To Say

Ships I Don’t LikeOkay this, honestly, is incredibly petty, and it’s not even the pettiest thing on here. But I HATE Trunks/Mai. I hate it. It is the worst ship that’s had the word “canon” sneezed at it in all of DB history, and that’s coming from someone who firmly believes Yamcha/Bulma was unhealthy for both parties. One of my rules for accepting writing commissions and requests is that I will not accept ships with an “aged up” child character in a relationship with an adult. (Aged up children in relationships with other aged up children are a different story, as they’re at least at the same stage of development, but that’s an issue for another day.) Trunks/Mai has the opposite problem: it’s an “aged down” adult character in a relationship with a child. You can argue about Future Trunks’s age all you want, but that changes nothing about kid Trunks and Mai. She’s in her forties. He’s nine at most. How is this not the creepiest thing in the world what the fuck.

Even with Future Trunks and Future Mai, it still grosses me out because it’s the same thing. Assuming the Pilaf Gang did (somehow) wish to be young again in the Future timeline (which...I don’t see how they could have, that doesn’t make sense continuity-wise, but continuity has never been DB’s strong suit), that still makes her way older than him. And if they didn’t, well, that’s just worse. Also how is she still that young looking.

Honestly the only reason I can think of for Toei/Toriyama to bring that into existence was so people would stop shipping Trunks with Goten and Future Trunks with Gohan. Which. I get it, you don’t like it, they’re your characters, et cetera, but could you maybe not have done it in a somewhat less creepy way? Dude. What 40-something wants to be in a relationship with a kid? Even if said 40-something looks like a kid? It’s creepy and gross and I hate it more than any other canon ship.

Characters I Don’t Care AboutI’ve heard a lot of people refer to Super as The Goku and Vegeta Hour and...yeah. DB’s never been great at remembering their MILLIONS of side characters (humans especially once Z happened) and Super doesn’t take enough steps to change that imo. Don’t get me wrong--I like Goku, and I...tolerate Vegeta, but characters who were once considered major players are relegated to backseat viewers again, and nobody can keep up with Goku except Vegeta sometimes (when previously most of them could at least hold their own). I’ll admit, I like the looks of some of the new characters, there are some who seem like they have interesting characterizations (like Kale.....though I’ll be the first to admit I’m biased as hell towards buff women). But Zamasu/Goku Black or whatever just seemed like a couple of shitty Hot Topic teens. I went to high school with people like them and they were annoying.

There’s just too much of a focus on a few specific characters while other characters get the shaft, and the new characters and plot points they bring up just...aren’t interesting. I don’t give a shit about yet another “gotta get stronger” plot you guys. Ugh.

PacingOKAY I’LL ADMIT this is the pettiest thing on this list but like...I’ve never liked the DB anime’s pacing. Ever. Remember how I used to liveblog DBZ? I got like 10 episodes in and got fed up with how long it took to get anywhere. Stuff that took like...a couple chapters in the manga took five half-hour episodes to deal with. And you’d think they would’ve learned in 30 years, especially since they don’t have to base everything off the manga now, but no, the pacing is still awful. And it’s not just the whole “Namek takes half a season to explode” stuff (although that is really annoying, and knowing the real-world reason for it doesn’t make it less annoying), it’s that every shot lasts longer than it needs to. You could cut the running time in half just by trimming the shots slightly. It’s bad, and I’ve always stuck to the manga because of it. It’s not that I’m a Manga Purist(TM) or anything, I just...can’t watch the anime.

Terrible, One-Note CharacterizationYou all know who I mean when I say this, but it extends to more than just Yamcha.

Videl’s character was absolutely decimated in this show. 18′s the only female fighter we have left anymore because of it. I once saw an argument saying that Videl not fighting anymore makes sense because she was traumatized by being killed by Buu, which okay fine fair enough, but 1) nobody said she had to fight in life-or-deaths situations, AT LEAST LET HER BE SAIYAWOMAN AGAIN YOU COWARDS, and 2) that doesn’t mean you have to get rid of her firecracker personality and replace it with the sweet, docile housewife type. We saw it with Chi-Chi...sort of, we don’t need it with Videl, too. Once a female character gets married in DB, they stop fighting (except 18) and stop being important to the plot (except Bulma...sometimes (remember when Bulma was the main character? Pepperidge Farm remembers)). Three times is a pattern, Toriyama, I’m just saying.

Goku even gets hit with shades of this. He’s not an idiot, you guys, he can read a dang grocery list. Yes, he’s selfish and simple and bad at communicating and often doesn’t realise what he’s done wrong until it’s pointed out to him, but he’s also a fast learner, a really good tactician (like. look at some of his fights in DB and early Z, those are some Good Tactics), and not a complete asswipe. We don’t get to see those good traits much in Super. He had no reason to not tell people the stakes for the tournament to get them to join. None. There was no reason to lie. Yes, his biggest flaw is his inability to communicate with his friends and teammates (COUGHS LOUDLY AND LOOKS AT THE CELL ARC) but Jesus you guys, his friends would have helped him if he told them the real stakes too? He didn’t need to lie? There was no point? I’m so angry?

The worst of it though is Yamcha. For the love of fuck, you guys, Yamcha has more characterization than just “guy who sucks at everything and has a thing for Bulma.” Like that’s some Funi dub shit there, not original canon. What happened to when he said he’d given up fighting in the Buu arc? Where did that go? You could have done so much more with that concept rather than have him still be overconfident in his abilities and slamming him at every turn. Even when he does get to do stuff, it’s obvious that it’s just a setup to make him fail so Vegeta will look good by comparison. It’s awful. The writers have such an obvious hard-on for Vegeta and they keep cutting Yamcha down. Those bits where he’s waiting for Goku to ask him to the tournament even though we all know he won’t? They’re not funny, they’re just sad. Also, on that note, why is Roshi there? Yamcha surpassed Roshi years ago, Roshi himself says so! I get that he wasn’t in the RF movie because his voice actor was busy, but they couldn’t have given a better reason than just Tien leaving him behind because he didn’t think he could keep up? At least have him sick in bed with a fever and wanting to go anyway and being forced to stay behind by a worried Tien or something guys, geez. And his VA was obviously around for that arc of Super, so what the hell.

(Yes I was salty earlier about Yamcha still fighting and shit but if you’re going to drop the “Yamcha retiring from fighting” plot point then at least DO something with it you cowards)

FansOH GOD, THE FANS. Not to say that people who dislike Super are perfect or ideologically pure (I once knew a person who bragged about trolling/picking on Super fans...we do not talk), but the people who do like the show seem to spend an awful lot of time yelling at us and telling people they’re not real fans if they like GT more than Super or don’t like either or whatever.

And of course the VegeBullies are out in full force over it, too. VegeBul gets a lot of screentime, and when fans of other ships (GoChi primarily) say “hey we’d like more content” they get shut down or yelled at. They demand more content despite already having more than anyone else at this point. Shut the fuck up and let me enjoy the fact that Tien and Yamcha stood next to each other again in peace.

But that’s getting dangerously close to ship war territory and I try to stay out of that. (It’s hard, because I’m a salty, bitter person, but I try.) I’ll also say Not All VegeBuls(TM) even though I shouldn’t have to because if I don’t I’ll get at least 10 angry anons in my inbox flipping their shit.

You know what the really sad thing is? When Super was first announced, I was mega excited. And I really liked the first couple episodes! But they veered away from making it the Martial Arts Themed Slice of Life Comedy Hour we deserved, they retold the same story the movies already did instead of just making the movies canon and continuing from there (thereby drawing it out way too much), and they just...fucked it up in general. I can’t stand Super and while I don’t expect to sway anyone’s opinion with this, you did ask me why, and I hope now you can understand.

[pomodoriyum]

How about 8, 11, 16, and 20

8– involved in current fandom?

I got involved by re-watching The Phantom Menace and falling in love with Darth Maul’s fluid fighting style.  I started reading about his character and then realized he literally hits all of my buttons for ‘favorite character’– asshole, keeps screwing up chances to get better, tragic abusive past, repressed emotions, puts himself thru a lot of shit he doesn’t need to, funny/sarcastic, and TRAGIC story line/dies

and then i started browsing through tumblr and AO3, found obimaul, and haven’t looked back since.  because good god are there so many chances for both of those assholes to redeem each other. just. ugh. ouch,

11- current OTP?

funny thing is, I don’t really operate on OTP/non OTP. i can’t pick, because i love all of my tragic characters too much. 

The ship that I think about the most rn is obviously Obimaul, but others that occupy my time and energy are: kisame/itachi, kakuzu/hidan, sakura/ino, zuko/aang (not!! when!! they’re!! kids!! that’d be fucking gross), and for a while last year genos/saitama and kakashi/yamato (yes, half of these are naruto pairings, and yes, i am naruto trash. it was my first anime, i’ve got a soft spot for it.)

16– Popular ships in my fandom that I dislike?

er, reylo.  I don’t like it.  finn/kylo or finn/hux also seriously bothers me, but it’s not super prevalent, thank god.

uhhhh also sasuke/sakura is really awful and i hate it.

20– Any ships that i surprised myself with liking?

nah, not really, because i only ever get into ships as an exploration of a favorite character.  typically i don’t care about the other person involved in the ship as much as my fave

examples: as much as i enjoy obi-wan, the only reason i got into obimaul was because of maul.

I couldn;t give less of a shit about hidan, but kakuhidan is something i enjoy because kakuzu is a character i love

same with kisame/itachi. i don;t care about itachi.

even kakayama, which is fucken pure, i only got into because i love yamato.

@darthbiscuits thanks for the ask!!!