#naughty philip

[thekatebridgerton]

Things that never stop being Funny ep #245

Eloise seeing Phillip in the greenhouse be like ' I like a man who knows how to get dirty'

Meanwhile Phillip being the clueless nerd he is going like 'but I'm just planting some plants?'

[for-the-love-of-javert]

Good morning. Here’s a bit of saucy tangoing from Philip Quast and Elena Roger from Evita

The footage isn’t the greatest, it’s also not mine. This was recorded from the audience at a performance years ago. But still a good watch. Mr Quast gets a bit naughty towards the end of the song. Oh and he can dance too. He was also on great form and looking handsome as Juan Peron.

I’d Be Surprisingly Good For You.

[fatiguedcoffee]

when phil was alone on stage and suddenly we could hear sister daniel say “have you all been naughty?” from backstage

can you imagine the screams. we lost our shit. then she appeared and oh my god I swear the atmosphere in the venue shifted. she holds such power.

ALSO something about father philip spraying the audience with a tiny water gun saying “you are cleansed” after confessions had been made (submitted by the audience)

[frogchiro]

I m sorry if i am a bother but will we see more of neighbor! graves? miss him if not over reading him i m thinking him

It's been a hot while since he's been here but of course!! Neighbour!Graves is very much still here and still is perving on poor unsuspecting reader who is always oh so sweet and polite to him, always smiling and making effort to chat with him as you eater the pretty flower bushes in your front yard and Philip can't help himself but let his eyes wander as you ramble about college and set on your tits basically bursting out of that low neckline in that summer dress of yours♡

What a naughty girl, don't you know there are so many perverted men in this world who'd do anything to get with a pretty thing like you? He'd have that wolfish grin as he smirked at you, his fangs on show as he compliments your performance and uses the moment to invite you to the BBQ he's hosting this Saturday, a kind of neighbourhood tradition and since you're new here then what better way than to get you aclimated to living here♡?

And doon't ya worry your pretty head darlin', your neighbour will take good care of you♡

[sexydoffyman]

i dunno if you write for philip graves but is it alright if you wrote him for jealous or possessive sex with a gn reader?

day 26 - JELAOUS SEX

Phillip Graves

navigation

genre: smut

mdni

(Reader pretends to be a lady for a mission but still g/n)

You always loved messing with him. Him having such a high position really helped you with getting on his nerves. All it took was a single smile at a shadow and boom he's riled up. Of course, he knew basic social manners and understood that sometimes you just have to be overly nice.

Your job was what angered him more than anything. You were always sitting on the lap of some sixty-year-old fuck to distract him or get some intel. Some ass put you up to that job because he was angry at Graves. He tried to talk with his superiors, but they all declined your change of positions.

How could they deny such an offer? You were like a magnet to dudes who haven't been able to fuck for a while. Your feminine features helped with your job since it was easy to disguise as a lady of their dreams.

You had gotten into an argument with Graves and just wanted to get back at him. He scared the shit out of you during the last mission. You almost stabbed him in the neck when he sneaked up on you. You lectured him about how what he did was dangerous as fuck. He didn't take you seriously at all. He just brushed you off and went to do whatever he was doing before you chewed him out.

He took something that you found really important so lightly, so why not do the exact same thing. Graves found some businessman that had some intel and that's where you came in. When you got into the nightclub that you were informed about, you immediately spotted your target.

Your mission was simple. Get in, get the man drunk, get the intel, leave. What you decided to do was to play with him before you actually got him drunk. You sat down next to him and smiled all flirty-like. He looked at you, waiting for you to talk. "You look pretty evil." He laughed at your words. You definitely got his attention.

You chatted with him for a while, with Graves listening in with a wire. He was not only listening, but he was also watching you like a hawk. The man slipped his hand on your butt. You giggled and asked him, "I have a boyfriend, you know." You put your hand on his chest.

"What a naughty lady you are~" He smirked at you as he pulled you into his lap. Graves immediately realized why were you doing this, but he only shrugged it off, being a little agitated. He reminded you about the mission with the earpiece that was hidden in your earring. What you did instead was flirt with the businessman.

He snuck his hand under your skirt. You eventually got him drunk and got the intel. But you still sneaked in some kisses... and a little bit of making out.

You ended up walking out of the club and meeting with a shadow. You passed the gathered information onto him. He did too, give you some information. "Commander is furious." "That's what I hoped for." You responded. He showed you the way to a car and drove both of you to the base.

You already saw him at the gate waiting for you. You got out of the car, smiling at him. "Come here." He sounded aggravated, for sure. It made you feel happy. You were in his room together as he was showing you his anger. "Common, it's nothing." You said the same words he said to you.

He knew damn well you wanted to make him mad. But you've crossed the line a little bit. And by a little bit, I mean a whole fucking lot. You only giggled, sealing your fate.

He was done with you. He grabbed you by the arm and pulled you onto the bed. He was soon above you. Lust filled his eyes as he kissed you while pushing you down into the mattress. He pushed your hips up your crotches, meeting you could already feel his hard-on.

His kisses got sloppy, going all over your body. He had the image of you and that man in his head. He wanted to blast his head off. You tried to get a little flirty with him by caressing his back with your hands. Unfortunately, he pushed them away and pined them above your head.

"You adorable piece of shit." He was furious, and he knew you liked that. He hurriedly took off your pants, revealing your bare body to him. He was always passionate, but this time it was different. He wanted to be rough with you.

He spread your legs and put them on his shoulders. He didn't hesitate to enter you the moment he saw you had your guard down. He was usually nice and gentle. So him being rough right off the bat was a surprise.

He laughed angrily, groaning into your neck. He wanted to do something to you, but you were just too nice to hurt. You did make him jealous on purpose, but he still loved you with all his heart. He decided that being a little rougher with you won't hurt.

You whined into his ear. Oh, how he loved that. He loved how much his actions impacted you. Even those little moans made him feel so good. You were completely out of control of the situation. He could do anything to you as he pleased. The thrill of the situation made you want him to do so.

He had you exactly where he wanted as he thrusted into you. His powerful hips slamming into the ones of yours. You became a mess under him. Just how he liked it.

He was gonna have a lot of fun with you tonight.

[l0velylecter]

you can be the boss, philip graves / reader & captain john price / reader

— ‘ a fire in his eyes, know, i saw it.’

summary : graves (or) price sees you all beautiful and can’t help but ruin you pairings : philip graves / reader & captain john price / reader fandom : call of duty modern warfare ii pairing :  f!reader / phillip graves , f!reader /  captain john price rating : m for suggestive themes, minors don’t interact (mdni!), not safe for work (nsfw!) warnings : graphic descriptions of sex, cursing  tags : kissing, making out, degration, sub/dom dynamics, spanking, oral , sex alternative title : the cod : mw ii men as lana del rey songs, vol.i  song used for inspiration : you can be the boss by lana del rey

You taste like the fourth of July Malt liquor on your breath, my, my…

01 | “ C’mere baby,” Phillip grinned, pulling you atop his lap. With both your legs straddling his hips, he used a hand to palm your ass before squeezing it — abruptly pulling you forward and directly atop his growing bulge. He swallowed your gasp with a rough kiss : he smells like malt liquor and the expensive perfume you got him last Christmas, and when you rub your nose against his chin, you giggled at the feel of his stubble. 

The man is all teeth and tongue: your boyfriend never gets past the first hour of going home from a mission without getting handsy with you. The dinner reservation at his favourite restaurant no longer relevant when he saw you applying your lipstick by the vanity table. You let out a small laugh at the sight of rogue red lip stains peppering his face and smearing his cheeks, only to moan the moment he bunches your dress up to your waist, his eyes lighting up at the sudden realisation that you weren't wearing anything underneath. He bit into your bottom lip, his voice dropping in between kisses.

" Naughty girl. What should I do with you, hm ?" 

You grind down and he let out a strained, “ Fuck.” 

Almost immediately, he had you over his knees — ass up in the air. 

“ You dirty little slut. It’s almost like you’re begging for it.”

A ringing sound echoed around the private bedroom you share, bouncing off the walls and windows, and with it, over your right cheek, came a flash of pain that lingered briefly, brilliantly — the sharp yet exquisite pain, forcing out a cry of surprise from you. Seconds after the shock turned into warm, ripe heat, Phillip spanked you again, pulling a shameless, high-pitched moan out of you.

“ Easy girl, this is what you get for teasing me after all those nights alone, thinking about you, kissing you, fucking you. You drive me insane, you know that ?” 

His other hand started stroking down your lower back, and now you understand why he chose this backless dress for you — he’s always had this fascination of running his fingers, his lips down your spine: gently, smoothly. His thumb rubbed over your skin: the softness of it, in contrast to the sharp heat from his spanking drove you to the edge.

By the fourth spank, he had his other hand working on your clit, the onslaught of stimuli making you come immediately. Yet even when you’re panting and shaking over his lap, Phillip still has the audacity to tease you, moving to the bed so he can pull your hair down to hear your whine.  With your nails running down his back, you tried pulling him into a kiss, but because he’s an asshole — Phillip resisted with his lips hovering above yours. You know what he wants, and you smacked his chest weakly, frustrated that right before you climax, he started to edge you on: refusing to sink into you even if you can feel him right at your already soaking entrance. “ C’mon sweetheart, you know what I want.”

Sobbing from how his hand is still in between your legs, you whimpered, “ Please, Phillip, kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.” “ Is that all ?” “ Fuck me, please ! I want you in me.” “ Good girl, you know I love that shit,” He chuckled, and with a kiss, he finally buried himself inside of you in one go: your body warm and inviting, having remembered the shape of his body against yours. He’s ruined you for other men, and the cocky bastard knows this.

He had a cigarette with his number on it He gave it over to me, “Do you want it?”

02 | " My woman," Price murmured against your shoulder, his beard scratching over the skin and making you laugh. You let out a content sigh, eyes still glued onto the vanity mirror. The reflection of the jewels resting across your neck rendered you speechless, fingers still gently caressing the diamonds — the cool texture paired with his hands running up and down your shoulders sending a shiver down your spine. You turn to face him, stroking the side of his face before tenderly kissing him, "Thank you... it's beautiful." 

One of your favorite things about him is that he always spoils you with gifts. He never greets you empty-handed, whether, with a bouquet or a necklace so expensive that knowing the fee nearly made you pass out, he showers you with affection. But gifts are not the only way Price pampers you.

Hearing you so awed and breathless did things to him, and when you were looking up at him so sweetly — Price couldn't resist.

" Christ," He groaned, sliding a hand under your chin to pull you to his lips. You grinned against his kisses, inhaling the scent of tobacco and bergamot while his thumb stroked your chin. You had to remind him that you were only human, and when you gasped, he kept his fingers around your neck: careful to put just the right amount of pressure to make your mind heady with excitement.

With one big swoop, he carried you onto the bed like you weighed nothing, giving you a nice view of his arms. Out of his uniform and in his crisp button-down shirt, you bit your lip in anticipation as you watched Price roll down his sleeves to the elbows. Catching you staring, he raised a brow, " Patience, love. Now be good and lay down for me, will you ?"

You nodded.

" I didn't quite catch that."

" Yes..sir"

He grinned, " That's it."

He ran a hand up your thigh, starting from your calves before slowly, teasingly going up — the feather-light touches enough to make you squirm. Yet he scolds you by stopping, " Hands to yourself, sweetheart. No touching unless I say so, understood?"

" But-"

" Don't make me repeat myself."

Keeping your mouth shut, you felt like pulling your hair out. But you knew Price likes to take his time to admire you, to undress you with his eyes; it would have made you come if it wasn't for the promise of more. Eventually, he positioned himself between your legs, his heated look disappearing underneath your dress. Your head nearly collided against the headboard when he gave one long lick across your clit, his rough and calloused fingers joining soon after.

And when you come down from your climax, Price would give your hip an encouraging squeeze, easing you through your high. He kisses you almost immediately, letting you taste yourself on him. It's euphoric how protected and cared for you feel around Price, and when he undresses you like a present, leaving you with nothing but the necklace on, he worships you through each thrust. Praising you for how good you take him, for how warm and tight and perfect you are for him.

It was clear who was in control, whether in the field or the bedroom — Price moved to conquer, to mark, to seize. Just as he gives, he takes, and tonight he has his eyes on you.

a/n : price is so lana del rey vinyl, and this lana song definitely reminds me of  them. i need sugar daddy price and graves spoiling their s/os. with how much cigar this man smokes, i just know price has a butler, a mansion and generational wealth left behind by his war hero grandfather. ( lily-rose depp who ? my favorite nepo baby is captain john price ) and graves definitely takes pride in being the traditional breadwinner ( and i am willing housewife ) i hope you enjoy this ! 

[pseudophan]

when phil came in as father philip and started his you've been naughty speech... why did they show us this

u will never guess what i'm giffing rn. god i am SO SAD they forgot to set it back to fullscreen for that part

[talltalesandbedtimestories]

“(Don’t) Hurry Down The Chimney Tonight” - Dean x Reader

Rating Explicit

Dean x Reader

Tags: Christmas (Holiday) Smut, Red Ribbons, Candy Canes, Peppermint Sensations, Sleigh Bells, Sexy Santa References, Dean is Tied Up, Edging, Oral Sex, 69, Vaginal Sex, Reader is a Naughty Little Vixen, Dean deserves a proper (sexy) Christmas.

Word Count: 2700

Summary: Dean saved Reader from the supernatural on Christmas Eve years ago. Every Christmas since, she has always found a way to show her unending appreciation.

Notes: This smutty little fic is a holiday gift for @jessjad for the 2023 SPNFanFicPond Secret Santa Fic Exchange. I hope you enjoy the reader’s sexy times with Dean.

Big thanks to @sam-is-my-safeword and runawaydr3amer (AO3) for reading the first draft and helping with a great many awesome smut ideas. Additional thanks to runawaydr3amer, who also beta’d this fic and packaged it up nice and shiny. 

Merry holidays!

I'm participating in @jacklesversebingo, and this part will fill my "Edging" square.

Resources:

Collage created in Canva

Pic found on Google (Fanpop)

Song Reference: Santa Baby by Joan Javits and Philip Springer (listen/watch this version sung by Eartha Kitt)

Dean sinks those pearly whites into the flesh of his bottom lip. His top lip pulls up and back into a painful sneer. The usual rosy, pillowy fullness of that mouth is instead taut, whitening under the capture. You laser focus onto the pointy canine denting into the mouth you have debated sitting on since you began this teasing challenge.

jingle

You finish fashioning a sweet little bow with the ribbon. It’s ruby red and velvety soft.

“Well, I think that’s about the prettiest package I ever did wrap.”

jingle

“What do you think, Mr. Claus?” you ask, your voice as innocent and demure as you can manage.

Dean opens his mouth and expels a slow gasp. jingle “Fuck, sweetheart. You aren’t playin’ fair.”

“That’s the whole point.”

You rise from the edge of the bed and take in the entire scene. It’s magnificent. 

He’s magnificent.

Dean is lying atop the forest green comforter of your bed. Naked. Well, not totally naked. A red ribbon - adorned with one single sleigh bell - binds his wrists together and anchors him to the headboard. His arms, jutting out and bent to create a diamond-shaped frame around his face, give you a prime ticket to the gun show. Biceps flex and tendons raise under the skin as he tries to remain as motionless as possible.

jingle

You aren’t a complete heathen. He’s got a fluffy pillow, the same deep green color as the comforter, to rest his head atop. Dean is anything but sleepy. He’s wound up. He stares back at you, the green of his irises electric and flaming with intensity.

You anticipate how sublime it will feel to strum the cords of his neck. Tickle your fingertips down that chest. You imagine Dean ring-a-ding-dinging and cursing himself if you take the time to trace the outline of his tattoo. Circle those perky nipples. Dip into his belly button and follow his treasure trail of baby-fine hair.

You marvel again at the other ribbon that you tied. You’d purchased a couple yards of red velvet at the craft store weeks ago with this in mind. With him in mind. You were ecstatic it had been enough to criss-cross around the crease below that fine ass. It wraps over a slight vee along his waist. The makeshift holiday jockstrap has Dean’s beautiful, now fully erect, cock sporting a bow.

Dean sighs. “Are you done decking my balls?” jingle

You giggle and fiddle with the belt of your robe. It’s red as well, but made of silk. “As we discussed, the end result of all of this is all up to you. Santa.” You flip a switch to turn off the ceiling light. The sconces stay on above the headboard. Two halos figure eight over Dean’s beautiful body, awash in a warm amber glow.

He’s a full print ad of holiday cheer and sinful debauchery.

“You’re being very naughty, (jingle) Mrs. Claus.” Dean licks his top lip—your core clenches at the deep timbre of his scolding. 

You’ve been wet since you both finished Christmas dinner. Since you told him you had one more gift for him waiting upstairs. Since you left him in the bedroom with orders to strip while you changed in the bathroom. Since you pulled out the ribbons. Since you explained that if he was good and could keep his jingling down to a minimum through what you had planned, you’d fuck him into the New Year.

You inhale and shrug, then begrudgingly turn your back to the sight. It takes a few taps on your phone for you to get to the song. You stifle another giggle at the little jingles Dean can’t help as he waits. 

Once you tap the play button, the festive and recognizable melody begins. A barbershop quartet bah-bums a bit before the sultry and smooth vocals of Eartha Kitt take the lead.

You look back over your shoulder at Dean and whisper along with Eartha.

You peel the silky robe off one shoulder then the other. Dean groans when the layer slips down to the floor. jingle

“Shit.” He moans and you grin in satisfaction at the hoped for reaction.

You turn back to face him, adding a dramatic hair flip. You're wearing a sexy little Mrs. Claus outfit. It’s a red velvet dress with a scandalously high skirt and a low-cut halter. White fur lines both the top and bottom. It’s all cinched nice and tight around your waist with a black belt and a gold buckle.

You bend at the knees and lean forward, shoulders folding in and hands resting on your thighs. It gives Dean the perfect vantage to ogle your cleavage. You purr along with the next line and modify the lyrics a smidge.

“Man, I must have been a really good boy this year.” Dean stares in awe, not even caring how much he’s jingling with his squirms atop the bed.

You let it slide for the time being, thrilled at the kid in a candy store grin plastered on his face and the way the bow sways with every twitch of his cock.  

Dean tilts his head to the side. His gaze begins at your red-glitter heels and canvases every inch of skin from ankles to thighs. He pauses, stopping to stare at the hint of flesh under the skirt hem. jin-jingle jingle jin-jingle He pants out, “Mrs. Claus forgot her panties, huh?”

You lift a finger and wiggle it back and forth in the air. “Uh-uh-uh. Remember, really good boys stay still if they want their present.”

The bell jangles no matter how carefully he attempts to reposition himself. “Son of a bitch,” he mumbles and you laugh. “Sorry, sweetheart. I’ll be good,” he whispers soft and sweet.

The heels tap across the hardwood as you walk over to settle beside Dean. You adjust your skirt to let the scant amount of fabric fan over your naughty bits. Being so close to him makes you forget the lyrics to sing along with Eartha.

You rest a hand on his chest. Through clenched teeth, Dean inhales at the touch, the rest of him frozen in place. The bell is silent. Your other hand grabs one of the candy canes you had left on the bedside table. For reasons.

Watching him fight every urge he has to reach out and touch you is fascinating. And the power you have over him gives you a head rush. You continue the tease, twirling the candy between your fingers, then laving the cane’s hook with your mouth and tongue. Dean garners some pity from you as he whines, brows downturned, eyes attentive to your every swirl and suck. You swing the cane close to his mouth. “Wanna taste?”

He swallows. “Wanna taste you,” he states, the hint of hope escaping around the edges of a soft moan.

The thrill of his need quickens your pulse. No other man has loved and adored you as thoroughly and exuberantly as Dean Winchester. You nod. “You will. But, first,” you rub the wet-slick candy cane over his bottom lip, “show me what that mouth wants to do.”

“You know what this mouth can do,” he reminds with a little sass, letting the candy cane tap against his bottom teeth. 

But soon enough, he indulges you. He slips the hook between his lips. His tongue slides out under the curve of peppermint, lapping at the sticky sweet. Again and again. Your breath hitches into your open mouth as you watch, enthralled at the ministrations of that thick and powerful muscle. He sucks the confection in a little farther, pursing his lips. The sounds he’s making, enjoying the treat, are downright pornographic and send any extraneous bell ringing to the back of your hearing queue. The red food coloring coats them like lip gloss by the time you break from the spell of his show. You guess it’s been minutes since Eartha finished her rendition of ‘Santa, Baby.’ The rest of the playlist you created has soft and dreamy instrumentals.

“My turn,” you cajole. You tug on the cane. He relinquishes, but not without some resistance. A little pop escapes his mouth once the hook is freed. You marvel at the progress he made. The hook end is substantially shorter and thinner than when he began.

He sniffs and tilts his chin up in pride. jingle “Your turn with that, or my turn with you?”

The cane slips back into your mouth, your fingers sticky from all the handling. You stand, kick off your heels, and climb back onto the bed on your knees. You grin as you suck on the candy.

His eyes soften. “Be careful, baby. Don’t want you to choke. Well, at least not on that.” He smirks.

He’s right. Safety first. You toss the candy onto the bedside table.

“You are so (jingle) fucking hot in that (jingle) outfit.” He grins and waggles eyebrows in anticipation. “Gonna let me down your chimney, Mrs. Claus?” jingle jingle jingle

The actions in the next few seconds are a blur. You wonder if Dean has some sort of Jedi mind control ability. Because even though you are supposed to be the one making decisions this evening, his seductively god-awful puns find you sitting on his face, reverse cowgirl. 

“You might get the golden ticket to all my secret places if you’re lucky.” Your fingers tip-toe down his chest like a grinch about to steal someone else’s presents. 

jingle jingle jingle

“Fuckin’ hell,” Dean murmurs under your skirt. Hot breath bathes your inner thighs and other areas you hope will soon be explored.

Your hands rest in the little divots created by his pelvic bones while you take his body in and plan your method of attack. You pull on the ribbon and release his cock of the bow. Then, you’re deep throating him like he’s your last meal.

Not one to be outdone at an all-you-can-eat buffet, Dean’s entire face gets in on the feast as well. Nerves respond to the tingling sensation of the residual peppermint on Dean’s lips and tongue. You shiver at the gloriously heightened sensitivity when he pulls back to blow on your pussy. “This is so much better than milk and cookies.” He moans and groans and jingles all the way. 

As much as you’re loving the taste of his precome, the velvet texture against your tongue, and the way the tip triggers a tiny gag reflex at the base of your throat, it’s time to remind him of the consequences of all that noise he’s making. You release the hard length from your mouth and try to concentrate on your own breathing during the absolute virtuoso way he’s eating you out. As much as you’d love his fingers to get in on the action, you know you’d have no control over the situation. You sigh in relief that he’s trying to adhere to some parts of the game. The pitiful, half-hearted ribbon shackling of his hands to the headboard is no match for Dean Winchester.

You steady yourself on wobbly knees and one shaky elbow. A firm grip around the base of his cock makes Dean gasp. He stills after that. In your mind’s eye, you picture the beauty of that mouth and how his luscious pink lips were slick with peppermint. You imagine how slick they are with you now. “Sorry, baby,” he murmurs and you feel him settle back onto the pillow. “I’ll be as quiet as I can. Can you blame me, though? Here I am, under your sweet little skirt, in the dark (jingle)... shit, sorry. But, you can’t drop a five-course meal in front of a starving (jingle) man and not expect him to wanna little taste.”

You squeeze his cock. “That’s part of the challenge.”

“I’m always up for a challenge. You always make me feel so good.”

You groan at the praise he bestows. Without releasing your hold, you shimmy off his chest. Channeling the prim and delicate sensibilities of Mrs. Claus, you crawl along the comforter and settle between nutcracker bow legs. With knees tucked under you and sat atop bare feet you accept him in your mouth again and get to work. 

You take in the sight of Dean inventorying your every action. He’s gripping the top of the headboard with both hands to steady his upper body. You clock that the little stinker has also managed to palm the sleigh ball in an effort to silence or, at the very least, muffle it. You consider that move cheating. But he feels so sublime that you can’t bear to part with him to voice your irritation. He’s also whispering the sweetest filth to you while he watches.

“Damn. Yeah. Those lips of yours feel so good around my cock. You take it so good, baby. Wish I could fuck that pretty little mouth of yours, but I’d definitely jingle-jangle way too much.” A tongue swipe over his top lip accentuates the glossy look of his ruby-tinted mouth in the warm light. “You really are too good to me. You give the best Christmas presents.” He stiffens further with each downstroke. “Aw, yeah. Suck it.” Your rhythm increases. “So pretty. Wanna touch you so bad.” He gasps. “Fuck, I’m gettin’ close.” jingle jingle   

You clamp around the base again and squeeze, freeze mid-swallow - your lips around the tip - as soon as he rings.

Dean squirms and grumbles.

You continue to bring him to the edge of orgasm, then halt. Your jaw is aching along with the rest of your body as time passes.

You’ve fucked Dean up in the best way possible. He’s blissed out, wound up tighter than a spring. You’ve got him begging. But his words grow into admonishments with each successive denial. “You can’t keep doing this, baby. There’s gonna be consequences. Santa’s gonna for real put you on his naughty list. Nothing but coal in your stocking,” he huffs.

You give your mouth a reprieve and stroke him. “Is that all that happens to naughty girls?”

He gnaws at his bottom lip before offering, “You really wanna find out?”

You nod.

The ribbon binding Dean to the headboard shreds with one mighty tug. He pitches the sleigh bell in the air. It jingles as it pinballs around the room. 

You gasp as he cinches those hands under your armpits and drags you up his body. He crushes his lips into yours, tastes you with his tongue. The mixture of your arousal and a hint of peppermint melts you in his arms. Then, a sudden and swift rollover pins you beneath him.

He hovers, tosses your skirt up to your chest, and wedges between your legs. His hard, heavy cock slips into your folds and glides through your wetness. “I could drag this out. Or.” It’s his turn to tease. He notches snug against your entrance. You’re surprised your muscles haven’t pulled him into you of their own accord the way your entire body spasms with need. He whispers in your ear, “Let me be your Santa, baby.”

You gasp, “And hurry down the chimney tonight.”

He groans in victory and slides in, balls deep. He thrusts. One massive hand gathers your wrists together on the pillow above your head to anchor you in place. Fingers of his other hand grip the top of the headboard. Every sway in and out of you gets more frenetic. You’re screaming his name and he’s cursing yours. 

“Good girls do what they’re told,” he states, out of breath, face reddening. His gaze locks with yours. He slows down. Releases your hands. Finds your clit amid the white fur and red velvet. Strums. Angles and hits your sweet spot deep within you with a harsh abandon. “Come.”

Minutes later, after you’ve both orgasmed, you’re curled into his chest. “That was…” you manage between heavy exhales.

“Yeah, that was awesome.” He kisses your forehead. “Every year, since I saved you from that ghost on Christmas Eve, you find a way to outdo yourself with the holiday cheer.”

“Well, you deserve it. I’m glad you can get away for a little while and get a special treat.”

He sighs. “You know, you don’t have to feel obligated to…”

You rest a finger atop his lips. “How I see it. Guy saves your life one time, you owe him the rest of yours.”

He smiles and pulls you in. “How about we just focus on tonight, yeah?”

You nod. “Merry Christmas, Dean.”

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

[absolutefilthimsosorry]

Spoilers for DnP Incohearent!!!!

I’m having so much fun trying to solve these that I made a list to keep track! Message if you can help me fill in any I’m missing or if I’ve got any wrong!!!

Also lmk if you see any I’ve missed!! I’m going to keep updating this and have it unrebloggable but you can reblog this post to have a link to it!

These are all gathered from this post and this post so check the notes on those first to try to solve them then look here if you need answers!

Sow march cheer ray = so much cherry

Wee nay urn for uke oye yer tub = we’ve never fucked on youtube?

Ta fold in fig = the golden pig

Feed hay hid eho = vday video

Tat he won ape hit morse him he = daddy want a bit more simmy

Watt ken ice hay = what can I say

North key bus teabag king = naughty busty baking

Fool tie enter nit hobo / fall tie mint her nepo moe / fault aye mint earn are ohm owe/ foul thyme inch hermit hole mold = full time internet homo

Cumin mile aid deed or = come in my ladydoor

Hum hay zinc tan = amazingdan

Elven ower fug sedge own = eleven hour fuck session

An berry moth ribeye adam stir = and every month we buy a hamster

March rest array = Manchester eye

Cyst herding yell = sister daniel

Add a ding teps = editing tips

Cop dubai khaki luna = topped by kakuna

Late eat tore = ladydoor

Half tugger etch two eggs cyst = have the courage to exist

Perish she end wink = Parisian twink

Coal ten big/ goal then pick = golden pig

Cyst ordain yell = sister daniel

Train youth inks = try new things

Gay mean moss/ gain ink mass = gamingmas

Soften need = soft and neat

A wools lied = owl slide

Topper bought them hill = top or bottom Phil

Coat fit firenze = golf with friends???

Few ours pig meow fits = viewers pick my outfits

Read less tar = red lester

Eye eight soup igloo = I ate super glue

Insight youth era too walls = inside you there are two wolves

Mine amy stan = my name is Dan

Clap hella = glabella

Hiss teeth rent = hits different

Eel eyes apron kay kiss = Eliza pancakes

See pram haze ink bra jet = super amazing project

Feels lie yawn = phils lion

Fuel ease snot dawn fair = Phil is not on fire

Jaw shush ear son = josh hutcherson

Ball bull him tour food = bauble in your foot?

Sure eck = shrek

High ate dust = hiatus

Add a dink deps = editing tips

Ga hay shoom air age = gay shoe marriage

Pope eat plate aim = poppy playtime

Eat aches stu = it takes two

Goo gal few ed = google feud

Baze ick lee eye meg ay = basically I’m gay

Ko min yout ti ew = coming out to you

Ender knit subvert grew oop = internet support group

Phylis turn yar a sheen yes = PHIL LESTER YOU’RE A GENIUS

With Audi intern yet wean ed brr wood halve mat = without the internet we never would have met

Gum ban yins drool I’ve = companions through life

Reed sons wide answer flail = reasons why dans a fail

Ewan dam ah some are reed = you and Dan are so married

Denver sis fill/ Denver cis full = Dan vs Phil

Or lawn huffing = all or nothing

Dunk rye core raft = don’t cry craft

Mortal jester roam and thick/ Morph adjust row antic = more than just romantic

So wall how debris poll light = swallow to be polite???

Oar hinge art = orange heart

Foray virgo em = forever home

Chai reel loop/ share real oob = cherry lube

Cad boyd anne = cat boy dan

Far turf ill lip = father philip

Tess lit hen ink = the slittening

Forth house indie rolled or touches = four thousand year old tortoises

Hey moth swish roundup floating = a month without uploading

Jam march let pet tea an farms = Je mange les petit enfants

Day lion howl tour = Dalien Howlter

Ima let all kit = I’m a little kit

Feel pearl lays shell ter = Phil plays shelter

Fewer blue key app ending = viewer spooky happenings

Hell low iam tour reel = hello I am Toriel

Laugh tuh gey mile kuh = left to get milk

Villas eek wreck why vuh = Phil’s secret wife

Footy strain gin said dent = ___ strange incident????

Snow core play sum = snokoplasm

Nope puts cereal sleeping mage innit = no but seriously imagine it

Tear rip pulling flu hence = terrible influence

Jeff why eye aisle hike vague liner = fyi I like vagina

Eggs intense all cry cis = existential crisis

List of contributors

@fletthewreck @dandp @deadandphilgames @manchesterau @thephouseplants @awrfhi @jonsaremembers @rachosaurusrex @dapgolf @dan-whoell @dnphobe @dreamingalto @steveandscraggy @phanbeats @danandfuckingjonlmao @pepper-pastry @yonpote @un-interactive-introvert @spaniel-trowel @sisterdanieldyke @queerdnp @morganadelacour @amid-fandoms @spectral-kitkat @goingpheral @angelzonearth @wdapteo @2009phan @dansevilpianotea

[multi-fandom-imagine]

A/n: PART 2

|| Kisses under the mistletoe with the 141 boy’s ||

-Simon “Ghost” Riley-

❄️: Hesitant, nervous. It would have to be you two in private if you want a passionate kiss out of this man.

❄️: Will lift his mask up then gently cup your chin drawing you in for a kiss. It’s soft and he is putting his passion in it. You can feel his love through the kiss, it feels like the perfect moment, that it somehow belongs in a movie.

❄️: Will be the first to break the kiss though his lips still linger near yours,almost like he doesn’t want it to end but he does promise you will continue this later.

+•+

-Johnny “Soap”MacTavish-

❄️:Cocky, is the one carrying around the damn thing just so he can kiss you.

❄️: Would be the one to press you against the wall as he kissed you deeply,one hand woven through your hair as the other one is on your hips.

❄️: Lots of nipping at your lips, lots of his tongue roaming over yours, will tug you in to a random bedroom or closet for a quickie.

+•+

-John Price-

❄️: Much like Johnny, this man is a passionate kisser. He will be grabbing your ass and tugging you closer.

❄️: All of that British gentlemanly demeanor is out the window the moment he spots you under the mistletoe.

❄️: Will make sure you leave breathless, will make sure that you know their is more to come by the end of the night { if he lasts that long }

❄️: Would be the one to take it home for some more bedroom activity fun.

+•+

-Kyle "Gaz" Garrick-

❄️: Very sweet, very gentle.

❄️: Would ask to kiss you first, it’s important to him.

❄️: Tender with a little bit of passion, you can tell that he wants you but doesn’t want it act on it.

❄️: Ends it with a kiss on the nose or your forehead followed by lots of Eskimo kisses.

❄️: He just likes holding you.

+•+

-Bonus Boy’s-

-Alejandro Vargas-

❄️: PASSIONATE! He is putting is all in this kiss!

❄️: His stubble tickles but that’s what you enjoy the most about the kiss.

❄️: Would whisper something naughty to you as his hand slides up your dress, ask if you want to sneak off to continue this.

❄️: Kissing under the mistletoe becomes his favorite thing.

+•+

-Rodolfo Parra-

❄️: The biggest sweetheart, waits to get you alone before he grabs your hand gently to kiss you under the mistletoe.

❄️: Very soft, very sweet. You can feel his love in the kiss as he holds you gently. Both hands on your lips, the kiss feels like a dream.

❄️: Rests his forehead against yours just smiling while holding you.

❄️: Would ask if he can kiss you again.

+•+

-Philip Graves-

❄️:Is a little shit about it, would he teasing you throughout the whole night.

❄️: Full on passion, very primal, very hot. { borderlines on porn with him hiking your dress up your hips as he grinds into you. }

❄️: Wants to make the moment last, is often nipping at your lips.

❄️: Only breaks the kiss so you can catch your breath, marks your skin because he wants them to know who you belong too.

❄️: The night will end in sex.

[rreskk]

Any headcanons for Trevor with an 18 year old kid? I've been having a lot of Thoughts™ recently

HEADCANONS: Being Trevor’s 18 year old child.

- “I don’t care if you’re 18, 56, or 4 years old. I ain’t buying you booze, you ain’t drinking any around me. Got that?”

- He doesn’t care who you date but, when I say he’ll kill any horrible exes, he would.

- Trevor understands you’re an adult and gives you as much freedom. Tattoo? Sure. Cigarettes? As long as you don’t steal his stashes. Drugs? Better be his meth, or he won’t be happy.

- When he still looks at you, he secretly wishes you were a young child again. He missed being close to you, more like a fatherly presence.

- Will insist in giving you money and driving you places.

- Will also insist in giving you life lessons (which mainly includes shooting guns, unlocking locked doors, escaping car boots).

- Trevor will call you regularly to keep in touch. He still had attachment issues, even if you’re his own kid.

- You are his emergency contact.

- Trevor lets everyone know that you’re his kid, even as a threat or… sentimental reasoning.

- When he’s angry, he’ll call you “miss/mr Philips”

- Although he’s reckless himself, he’ll be super angry if you’ve been arrested or at least caught in trouble at school, college etc… he didn’t raise no coward, if you are to be naughty, he teaches you to NOT get caught.

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Naughty idea:

Sometimes when Camila is tired and stressed from working and/or caring for the family, Philip will ask her if she wants him to help her “blow off some steam” by “taking care of her needs”.

Most of the time she’ll say yes, and then Philip escorts her to the bedroom for some much needed “distressing”~

🔥 🌶 👇 !

... Let's just say that Beardo Philip "ate" a very good "meal" and that the "sauce" scent from the "food" is going to stay on his beard for a good while.

His face was in a very interesting place that night, lol.

Camila's mood improved greatly the next day as a result of him knowing his job well and doing it well.

[funnywormz]

it's so interesting to go back and watch earlier owl house episodes knowing that philip is human........ it puts his interactions with luz in a whole different light. he's clearly just playing along with her and views her as some kind of endearing naughty child rather than a genuine enemy. in a way he actually seems to care abt her, or at the very least he doesn't want to harm her. it's quite possible she reminds him of caleb, or perhaps even of himself. sure, he thinks she's wrong and probably views her as being stupid, but she's still another human being and to him that makes her more of his equal than any of the witches.

she's going into interactions with him with the mentality of "this is a very dangerous supernatural being who would kill me and my friends if he had the chance" while he's going into his interactions with her with the mentality of "this is a mislead and silly child, i suppose i'll humour her for now and hope that she sees my point of view someday".

it's a rlly interesting contrast. even his dialogue, saying "OK, i'll play" or "i like your spirit", it's clear he's interacting with her almost like a sparring buddy rather than an actual enemy lol. even when she actually gets a hit on him he's only mildly irritated. if a witch did that to him they'd be dead on the spot.

it must have been interesting for him to encounter another human again. she was probably the first actual human he'd been in contact with since caleb was around (if you don't count the grimwalkers or her interaction with him in elsewhere and elsewhen).

philip is a highly self absorbed, cold and manipulative person, so most of his "friendlier" interactions with ppl come about bc he's trying to manipulate them to control them or get something out of them. luz is different though. i think the way he is when he talks to her is the closest we get to seeing his real personality when he's interacting with someone who he somewhat respects (or at least someone who he doesn't actively despise lol). he sees the two of them as just two people with a difference in opinion, rather than actual enemies........

it's just really intriguing to see how he responds to another human being after being stuck in the demon realm for so long. i would've loved to see him interact with other humans in the human realm but sadly that never happened, possibly bc of the time constraints on the show. i wonder what he would've made of humanity if he had really had a chance to reintegrate into human society and see what ppl were up to. would he have been horrified? pleased? confused? would his love for humanity have grown or lessened? it's interesting to think abt

[newlabournewromantics]

okay so i'm not british (i'm just a teenage girl hungry for knowledge 😔✊) but i watched one video and as a result i've been consuming an insane amount of new labour media for the past week even though i've never been interested in uk politics besides keeping up with global news LMAO i genuinely wanna know more so where do you think i should start with books films etc 😭

hiii!! excellent question id be more than happy to help! this will be sort of an overview with general recs for newlab beginners (why am I treating this like its a profession omg) so just lmk if you want more specific recs + I've highlighted my favs

books (from the outside)

(by from the outside I mean written by people not directly involved in newlab, so historians/journalists etc)

the two classic newlab texts are servants of the people and the end of the party, both by andrew rawnsley from the observer. provide nice, extensive but not overly fussy histories of newlab from opposition to 2010. good balance of gossip and actual information!

my personal favourite is rivals by james naughtie (bbc reporter), I find the prose in it far more compelling than any other book on this list.

brown's britain (robert peston) is also very good!

you've mentioned that you're not from the UK, so I really really really would recommend reading a book/a few articles on the broader history of the British Labour Party, just so you can understand why newlab was so revolutionary. I quite like keeping the red flag flying

autobiographies/diaries/books from ppl directly involved:

(these will inevitably be more biased)

the new machiavelli by jonathan powell is my absolute favourite self-written newlab book - and you might learn some stuff ant machiavelli whilst ur at it so this is an essential imo

my life our times by gordon brown is another one I really enjoyed, although it's less gossipy than some of the other books on this list. admittedly I do agree with basically everything gordon brown has ever said so this is a very biased review, but I would give it a go!

obviously alastair campbell wrote a load of diaries. I would be careful with which volumes you choose to get - go for the ones published 2010 and onwards bc he made the choice to omit stuff from the first few volumes he published so that it wouldn't' hurt gordon's premiership. also, they're really long and really extensive, so pick which volumes you want to read based on which specific period of newlab you find yourself drawn to!

as a comms/polling fan (boo) I really liked unfinished revolution by philip gould, but this might not be the best book to start with.

damian mcbride's power trip (more diaries) is also interesting

big fan of point of departure by robin cook asw!

I found tony's books excruciating to read but that's bc im crazy and think I know the inside of his mind like its my own so they might be good for you. his new book is FASCINATING but only in the sense of it exposing how big his messiah complex is. don't read any of his books if you're not down to hear about sex and/or technology.

oh a note: mandelson has written books but I don't like him so im not going to recommend them <3

tv/film

tony and gordon aren't really all that into big heartfelt chats about newlab, esp not together, but a few good docs have been made

blair and brown: the new labour revolution (bbc, 2021) - this is a classic, it's where I got my newlab start as a tender sixteen year old politics student u can't beat it! watch this one first

the blair years (bbc 2007)

out of the shadows and we are the treasury (here and here)

blair's thousand days (1 2)

if you're into tbgb, please please please watch the deal. I don't like much of the michael sheen as blair content, but the deal (2003) is so good.

if you want me to rec bits of tv from the newlab years that I think r cool and worth watching then send another ask and ill tell u! but obv theyre not much use if you're just getting into newlab :)

alastair did interviews with tony and ed miliband 6/7 years ago. not all about newlab, but very interesting to watch and observe the dynamics!

podcasts

matt forde of the political party has done interviews with a lot of newlab figures, from tony all the way to the more junior spads. I especially like the joint one he did with ed balls and alastair campbell, and the first tony one. these r less good for actually learning facts about newlab but really like listening to them as a way to sort of get into these ppls heads and observe them in a more casual setting. also a gordon interview asw !

if you can bear listening to george osborne talk (I can but others r more sensible) then political currency is also a good place to get lil tidbits of newlab gossip, bc ed balls is one of the hosts and he's super messy he loves chatting abt gordon.

ideology/boring stuff etc!

ok u can ignore this section if you want but these r some books about the ideology that underpinned newlab - I think it's fascinating!

the third way by giddens (literally the newlab bible and I think the only theory that blair took seriously)

crosland’s the future of socialism!! influenced gb and caused so much internal labour drama so evidently its excellent

if you want a really interesting essay on Iraq I recommend this

podcast on centrism that touches a lot on clinton/newlab/blair etc

oh and just for fun!!!!! here's a playlist of all the songs written canonically actually irl about tony blair.

lmk if you want any other recs!!!!!

[dnpredacted]

sister daniel tries to coerce father philip to do down on her and it's so evil and naughty that she would even suggest it but he can't help but get hard at the thought. your honor they had a situationship ‼️

-dracula anon 🦇

⭒

[talisman975]

Based on this post: https://www.tumblr.com/enchantedchocolatebars/747927330826141697/naughty-idea-sometimes-when-camila-is-tired-and?source=share

Luz: (Is sitting at the table as Camila happily serves her and Kid Alma a hot plate of hotcakes. Camila is also humming a cheery tune.) Breakfast looks amazing, Mamá. (Begins to spread butter on her hotcakes.) Your mood also seems to be a lot better than it was yesterday.

Camila: (Goes to make herself some coffee.) It sure is, mija!

Luz: (Pours syrup on her stack.) That must have been some hug, huh?

Camila: (Turns to look at Luz.) Hm?

Luz: (Cuts her pancakes with her knife and fork.) I asked you what happened in your room yesterday, and you said Philip helped you feel better by giving you a hug. (Puts the forkful of flapjacks in her mouth and begins to chew. She then swallows.) Remember?

Camila: Oh? (She suddenly remembers and quickly flushes.) O-Oh! (Nervousness trails in her tone.) Right!

Kid Alma: (Is trying to cut her pancakes.) Papá gives the best hugs, Mamá!

Camila: (Fans her flushed face.) He sure does, mija. (Walks over to Alma.) Here, let me help you with that.

(enchantedchocolatebars)

@enchantedchocolatebars LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Dawww at lil Alma