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ladyvesuvia · 3 years

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Moniker Origin

PAIRING: Sirius Black x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

SUMMARY: Befriending a stray dog not only leads to a routine rendezvous every midnight but also the story of how Sirius got one of his many names.

WORDS: 5.5k

WARNING(S): Just fluff but involves cursing, name-calling, nicknames, mentions of celebrities/characters from the 70s, mentions of eating and food. || SECOND PERSON

A/N: can u tell this is kind of an indirect prequel to i’m a dreamer hsjsiw anyway i hope u like it!!! for @meiitanoia my beloved sirius black lovebot <3

[NAVIGATION] [MASTERLIST]

You woke up with a start. The curtains to your four-poster bed danced gently, as if attempting to put you into a trance. It worked: You watched it, transfixed more than ever until you slowly gained proper consciousness, or at least enough to let you yawn.

You reached out to push the curtains a bit to find that it was still night-time. You could hear light snores coming from your roommates, but you ignored it in desperate hopes of falling asleep again. You couldn’t; not that you didn’t want to, because you really did. The reason for your tossing and turning at this late hour was most likely because you slept around six p.m., an unideal hour for sleep on a weekday. You’d passed on dinner, and told yourself you’d just take breakfast early in the morning.

Giving up, you threw out your feet off the bed, feeling the cold surface of the floor. The clock told you it was half past eleven as it kept ticking and ticking and ticking.

Before you knew it, you were trudging down the deserted halls of Hogwarts, half-melted dark chocolate in one hand and your lightened wand in the other. You bought it from Honeydukes just last weekend on your visit to Hogsmeade. You didn’t know where you were going, but you just wanted to be somewhere else, maybe even do something exciting.

For cautionary measures, you looked in every direction every time you reached a turn in fear of getting caught by any roaming person of authority. Peeves would probably make a sound that’ll draw Mr. Filch’s attention; Mrs. Norris could appear, and that in itself is bad news already; Mr. Filch himself could catch you and start throwing insane threats; or maybe someone from the faculty could catch you and put you in detention, and you knew full well you did not want to spend time doing an absurd task.

When you managed to slip out unnoticed, you walked over to the bank of the lake, the rocks crunching under your feet. It was probably one of the things you find in horror movies when all is still, all is sleeping, and the monster is yet to come—

Your pulse skipped a beat when the sight of something running away from the forest shuffled past. You realized it was just a dog, but it gave you a shock nonetheless. Just a dog, you thought. Just a dog.

You pulled out the chocolate from your pocket, unwrapping it carelessly. It wasn’t until you took your first bite did you realize the dog was right behind you, watching you with curious eyes.

“I’d give you some but dogs aren’t allowed to eat chocolate,” you said to the dog, who then whined in response as it sat down. “I really can’t, I’m sorry.”

One might think a big black dog sneaking up on you in the middle of a night would cause a fright, but it was strangely more comforting than eerie. After all, it was just a dog.

Just looking at the creature reminded you of Snuffles, your very own dog who died while you were away from home and sitting in History of Magic, unaware your best bud had passed. You looked down hopefully at the dog in front of you.

“Snuffles?” you inquired hesitantly, reaching out your hand. Please don’t bite, you chanted more to yourself than to the dog. To your relief, it approached you gingerly and let you pet its head. “Is it you?”

Highly unlikely, you knew that, but it wouldn’t hurt to hope that it was, right? You’d spent your entire childhood with that dog: Sleeping together under a poorly done fort until daybreak; getting lost in the neighborhood together, earning disapproving opinions from the neighbors; and most of all, countless birthdays.

Well, just to name a few.

Maybe it was the moonlight reflecting off of the lake’s waters, but you could’ve sworn you saw the dog wink. You took your hand back to rub your eyes before studying the dog. “Are you Hagrid’s?”

The dog simply sat there, looking at you curiously. “Right, like a dog’s gonna talk back to me.” You chuckled, laughing at yourself. “Come, I’ll bring you back to him.”

It didn’t move. “Look, I can’t give you chocolate. Maybe I can sneak you some steak or something next time if you’re still here. I’d give you dog food but they don’t have that around here. But I reckon Hagrid has some, though. Do you want me to get you food?”

Once again, maybe (just maybe) it was only your imagination, but you got the sense that the dog disagreed. You didn’t push it any further and so you simply made yourself comfortable even under the rocks. You set down your cloak under your bottom to serve as a mat. It didn’t do much, but it was better. You gestured for the dog to come closer.

“I’m gonna call you Snuffles now,” you said as you picked up a stone. “Watch this.” With a swing of your arm, you sent the stone flying into the lake, skipping three times. “I used to be able to do four. You’d know, you were there!”

Snuffles your dog from years ago indeed was there with you when it happened on your family trip to your lake house, but this was not Snuffles; this was your very own classmate and Housemate, Sirius Black himself. He’d never talked to you before, much less noticed you, so it was a surprise to him that he’s spending his time with you at this late hour.

Nevertheless, it was a time well-spent even when it was mostly (entirely) just watching you skip rocks down the lake as you talked about the aforementioned Snuffles. He didn’t know how long you two sat there, but sat you did anyway. Twice he thought of a joke to tell only to be disappointed for of course, he couldn’t voice it out.

“I named her Snuffles because she used to cry a lot when we first brought her home from the shelter and mum didn’t want us to call her Sniffles so I went with the next best thing.” You put your legs in front of you. “Poor little thing.”

It wasn’t until the sky brightened a bit did you realize you were thirsty from all the talking you were doing. You would've stayed for the sunrise but, well, schedules would tragically overlap.

“Crap,” you thought as you began picking up your cloak, “I’ll end up dozing off in class! Anyway, I’ll try and bring you steak later, Snuffy.”

With a wave, you ran away from the lake, cloak in your arms, unaware that you had left your wand behind. Sirius was watching you until you disappeared from sight before he spotted the wand, which he then picked up.

He de-transformed on his way just a bit by a wall, and as soon as he did, he tucked your wand into his own cloak. He glanced back just for a second before running back to the castle. By the time he got to the painting of the Fat Lady, he halted at the sight of the girl from earlier — you.

“—you know me already, ma’am. I just forgot the password is all. Please let me in.”

“No password, no entry,” spat the Fat Lady. “And it does not do to wake up a sleeping person.”

“Well, you’re just a painting,” you mumbled. And if Sirius could hear it from where he was standing, the Fat Lady probably heard it too.

“Hmph!” exclaimed the Fat Lady. “Children are foul.”

“They are, aren’t they?” you chimed in hopes of getting on the Fat Lady’s better graces.

“I was talking about you, child,” said the Fat Lady with disdain. “Now scoot!”

You were about to walk away when Sirius decided to walk in. You froze.

It was only until then did it dawn on Sirius that he did not know your name because you had not told him anything earlier. He turned to the Fat Lady.

“Spondulicks,” said Sirius. The Fat Lady merely grunted as the painting swung open to reveal the room. “After you, m’lady.”

It was like he was seeing a different person; you refused to meet his eyes as you hurriedly walked into the opening of the painting, arms crossed. He was almost about to give you your wand but realized what a bad idea that would be, and so he kept his mouth shut.

You kept walking straight ahead, and Sirius had to stifle his laugh at the sight of you missing a step on the stairs to the girls’ dormitory, especially when your pace quickened after this.

That morning at breakfast, you were nowhere to be found. Sirius took his seat next to James while skimming the length of the Gryffindor table.

“What’re you looking for?” asked James, curiously scanning the table as well.

“This girl with [Y/H/C] hair,” Sirius replied absentmindedly as he slowly settled down, still looking for her.

“A girl? You’re gonna have to be more specific, mate. But bagsy snogging her.”

“What — you can’t bagsy her, you haven’t even met her,” spat Sirius. James was rather taken aback but still seemed to be stifling his laugh at the outburst nonetheless. Sirius cleared his throat. “And need I remind you that you’re trying to get Evans?”

“Mhm, I was just trying to see how interested you were in this girl to be preoccupied with looking for her instead of petting your hair.” More and more people began to file in to the common room and Sirius’s attention went to the door after determining you were not seated in one of the tables.

“It’s called combing, and you should try it.” Sirius ran his hand through his hair. “It would do you good to look fresh at least once.”

James snickered. “What can I tell you, Pads? The ladies like the rugged look.”

“I don’t think they do,” remarked Remus.

“Oh trust me, Remus,” James started with a smug grin. “They do. The key to it is—”

But Sirius never found out what ‘the key to it’ was; at least, not today. After a group of younger Ravenclaws walked in, he finally spotted you right behind them and his back straightened even more. For what, he did not know.

You took your seat beside a couple more Gryffindors and helped yourself to food on your own plate. You were busy rubbing her eyes, giving Sirius more time to watch. When you finished, you caught him looking at you, but he didn’t break the eye contact; instead, he smiled.

“Oh, her?” exclaimed James, trying to get a better look. Sirius gently kicked his foot at how obvious he was, but he nodded in confirmation. James blew a raspberry. “I can’t bagsy, can I?”

Sirius scowled. “No.”

“Then I call dibs.”

“Wha — that’s the same thing! You can’t just call dibs.” Sirius cleared his throat once more, for James was raising a brow to signify he’d proved his point. “You can’t.”

“Wouldn’t hurt you to go on over and talk to her, would it? After all, you do it all the time.” James stretched out his arms and made gestures of triumph. “Hook, sink, liner.”

“It’s actually ‘Hook, line, and sinker,’” said Remus.

“No it’s not. Get a load of this guy,” James joked (or not). “Anyway, come on, I’ll come with you. But I apologize in advance if my hair works better than yours.”

When they made it over to where you were sitting, you appeared to be manually wiping your plate with a tissue.

“Excuse me,” started Sirius, gesturing at the plate, “May I?”

Hesitantly and still not meeting his gaze, you handed him the plate. Sirius pulled out his wand and with a small flick, he said, “Tergeo!”

When he handed it back, you simply nodded your head in thanks and began to stuff it in your bag.

“Wait, are you stealing a plate?” James asked with a grin, on the verge of laughing. “You wouldn’t want to do that. See, our friend’s a Prefect and he’ll totally tell Professor Meownerva — pun courtesy of Peter, by the way.” James snickered. “I wish I’d thought of it first be—Ow!”

Sirius had stepped on James foot. “I’ll take it from here, Bambi.”

James managed a scowl before leaving the scene. You didn’t know what to do; so in your mind, you started devising ways to get yourself out of that situation: Make a run for it or melt on the spot; neither seemed like a good option.

“Why are you stealing a plate?” he asked.

“Er — long story. Have a good day.” Then you stood up and began to walk away, backing up a bit to grab a piece of sandwich before completely storming off.

When Sirius returned the other three were there, laughing out loud together.

James leaned closer. “Her name’s [Y/N].”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” exclaimed Sirius, annoyed.

“Hook, sink, liner,” said James confidently.

Remus cleared his throat again. “Again, it’s ‘Hook, line, and’—”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” dismissed James.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

On your first class (Transfiguration), the two of you clearly could not at all suppress your yawns: Sirius was doing fairly better compared to you, for he had the decency to not let his head plop face down on his desk, but he was sleepy nonetheless. This was no surprise to Sirius. After all, he hadn’t slept that morning. As for you, he did not know whether or not you slept but according to your peaceful and sleeping face, he kind of had a clue.

He wasn’t listening, and so when everyone brought out their wands, he just cluelessly followed the others. Professor McGonagall approached the middle row and stopped just right next to you.

“Miss [Y/L/N]?” started McGonagall. “If I’m not mistaken, bedtime ended hours ago.”

You merely grunted. McGonagall cleared her throat. “Excuse me, Miss [Y/L/N]?”

The professor put the back of her palm against your forehead. She lifted your face off the table and her eyes widened. “Heavens! Child, you look positively ghastly. Remus, kindly take—”

“I’ll do it,” said Sirius. “I’m her. . .” As he trailed off, all eyes went back and forth from you, McGonagall, and him. He opened his mouth again to add, “friend. We’re friends.”

Although McGonagall appeared to be reluctant, she let you go, advising you to visit Madam Pomfrey. Sirius risked a smug look in James’s way before following you out the door, eager to speak with you.

“So you’re feeling unwell?” asked Sirius.

“Look, buddy, I appreciate it but I honestly just want to go to bed.”

“Didn’t Minnie McG tell you to visit Madam Pomfrey?”

You halted. “I’m not sick.”

“What do you mean? What about the drowsy eyes and the head hurting and the red nose—?”

“Okay, now you’re making my head hurt.” You faced him, hands on your hips in defiance. “Here’s what’s gonna happen, Black: I’ll go back to my room and you’ll take a walk to the Hospital Wing and back to class.”

“But you’re sick.”

“Buddy, I’m really not,” you said with an irritated laugh. “I haven’t slept yet and I lost my wand. How do you think I’ll be able to go to class without a damn wand?”

Sirius scoffed. “Then what about your runny red nose and teary eyes?”

“Really? Are purebloods really that dense not to come up with basic ways to get out of class?” It was almost ironic. After all, you’d heard tons of brilliant things pureblooded wizards could do. Clearly they weren’t as crafty. You snorted. “Do you really want to know?”

“Do I? Of course I do.”

And with a bit of consideration, you recounted your gimmicks: collecting two chili peppers from the table and lightly patting your finger under your eyes to make it teary (it badly hurt), pinching your nose as soon as you left the Great Hall and sprinkling a bit of pepper on your sleeve to get yourself to sneeze, taking a quick hot shower without getting your hair wet, and more.

“Wow,” he exclaimed under his breath, astonished. You shrugged in response, turning around to walk away. “Wait, then why did you agree for me to take you instead of Remus?”

“Eh, well, your friend who’s trying so hard to be Michael Landon said that the Remus guy was a Prefect so I figured that he’s probably a snitch.”

“Trust me, he’s not a snitch,” Sirius said with a laugh. “Wait, I don’t even know who Michael Landon is but could you say that thing again but to James’s face tomorrow morning at breakfast?”

“No.” You turned your back on him, walking away. “May we never talk again.”

“You’re welcome, by the way!” He watched as you made a turn, disappearing from view before making a face. “Ungrateful chick.”

That entire day, you spent your time in bed, tossing and turning to keep yourself awake. Whenever someone came in during vacant time, you made sure the curtains to your four-poster bed were sealed shut while pretending to sniffle.

It was Friday, so you were thankful for the time to rest. You were thinking of just looking for your wand tomorrow when you remembered the dog. You shifted in your bed as you slowly stood up, peeking through the curtains of your bed. Your roommates were probably still in the common room, so you peeked your head out to grab your bag from beside your bed and pulled it in before shutting the curtains close.

You pulled out the plate you got from earlier that morning and waited.

Waited for your roommates to come in and chat for a while.

Waited until the lights went out.

Waited until the only sound you could hear was the ticking of the clock in the room.

You were about to fall asleep when what you could only assume was a bird hit itself against the window, jolting you awake.

It was dead silent. And just like you did hours ago, you threw your feet out of your bed. Going out at this hour without a wand felt threatening, but you reassured yourself, just thinking over and over that it would be just like old times back when you didn’t know you were a witch.

There was no one in the common room by the time you got down there. You tightened your grip on the plate in your hands, thinking about how good a weapon it would make (it probably wasn’t, but it was good enough to make you feel like you had a chance).

You slipped out, unaware once more of the same boy you had talked to the night before following you.

The walk down the halls and stairs without a light made your tour all the more frightening: Jumping when you accidentally graze your hand too much on one of the paintings which often earned an angry grunt from them, feeling for the next step of the stairs in fear of tripping over, and so on.

Sirius resisted the urge to just approach you and give you your wand, resorting to just staying behind to make sure you got out safely. He was about to keep going straight ahead when you made a turn, confusing him.

It took a few more turns for him to realize you were headed for the kitchens. He had to wait outside until you came back out a short while later with something in the plate.

Laughing silently to himself, he followed you again to the grounds, your wand in his cloak pocket, feeling like a hundred pounds weighing him down.

You went back to where you were last night, scouring the rocks in hopes of spotting a distinct shape among the round shapes. You cursed under your breath in disappointment as you set the plate of steak aside, your eyes falling to the dark surface of the lake. Gulping, you tied up the pant legs of your pajamas, mumbling inaudible words to yourself at what you were about to do.

Only your feet were in the water when you heard a loud bark, causing you to jump a bit, toppling backward at the sight of the black dog. You felt the water soak your back and a bit of your head.

“Snuffles?” you asked the dog whilst shaking yourself dry as you stood up. “There’s steak over there. It’s for you.”

If it weren’t for his physical state, Sirius would be laughing right now. The least he could do was walk your way, sitting right beside the plate of the steak.

“I know it’s not as good as I promised but it’s the best I could give, I’m sorry,” you said to the dog as it looked at you curiously. You bent down to pick up your cloak, drying yourself and wrapping it around you. With a huff, you squeezed the water out of your hair and sat down on the rocks once again. “I only came down here to look for my wand. It probably rolled down to the bottom of the lake already.”

You yawned. The lack of sleep was already taking a toll on you and you couldn’t let the sun rise before you could lie down in bed.

“Do you not like the steak?” you asked again. “You know, I got that plate for you.”

The dog’s ears perked up, and you reached out to pet it.

“Thank Merlin I got away from that fruitcake.”

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

“I’m a fruitcake,” Sirius told his friends that morning as they fell in line for their Hogsmeade trip. James looked at his friend as if he had gone mad (well, one can say he’s halfway there). “Out of all the things I could be, I’m a fruitcake.”

“Took you long enough to figure that out,” said Peter, who then brightened when James burst into a laugh.

“You sure?” said Remus, adjusting his tie. “If you are, then you’re far too salty to be one.”

“Guys, I’m ser—” He cut himself off, aware that they were waiting for an opening to pick fun at his name. “I am not joking.”

“Because you’re. . .?” James said, encouraging him.

Sirius let out an exasperated sigh. “Serious.”

And just like that, the entire group howled in laughter. Rolling his eyes, Sirius scanned the crowd again, but it was the same thing as yesterday — you were once again nowhere to be found.

“Wait, where did you get this fruitcake comment from?” asked Remus.

Sirius recounted your past encounters with him, earning a whoop of cheer and a pat from James.

“I have a plan,” said Sirius. “I’ll just so happen to ‘run into’ her in Hogsmeade and she’ll think I’m charming because I did my hair better today.”

“I don't know, I reckon it’ll be hard to jump from fruitcake puppy to charming knight and shining armor,” said Remus.

It wasn't until they were near the front of the line did Sirius realize there was still no sign of you. He then stepped out of the line, earning sudden protests from the rest of the group.

He made a show of waving at the other three as he disappeared from view before darting down the halls and up the stairs until he made it to the common room, where he plopped down on the couch. A couple of first and second years were gathered by the window playing chess.

Sirius kept his head down as he waited for you to come out until finally, about almost ten minutes later, heavy steps came from the girls’ dormitory as it descended down the stairs. Sirius kept his face down so as to hide himself for you, cursing at himself for being too. . .what’s a nicer way to put creepy again?

He followed you again like the night before, going over the things he wanted to say.

Hello, I’m actually Snuffles.

I’m Snuffles.

Hi, I’m not really a reincarnation of your dog because I’m actually a fruitcake!

It just kept getting worse in his head the more that he dwelled on it, and so he resorted to just focusing on his step when you halted, causing him to run into you.

“You,” you started, stopping with your finger pointed right at him, daring him to speak, “why are you following me?”

“Because. . .” Sirius trailed off. Why was he following you?

Because I'm Snuffles and I have your wand. Because I can turn into a dog. Because while I am Snuffles, I'm also not really Snuffles. Because—

“Because I found your wand,” he blurted out. “Well, consider it as a token of appreciation.”

“For what?”

“For being a good friend. . . ?”

“As far as I know, the first and only time we ever even talked was just yesterday,” you said, gesturing with your hands. “What’s your deal?”

“I want to take a walk,” Sirius relaxed, grinning at you.

“Then do it yourself!” you exclaimed.

“With you, I mean.”

Sirius’s tone calmed you down at least a bit, and so you cleared your throat. Come to think of it, he’s probably not that bad.

You began to walk with him on your way out to the grounds. “And what do I get out of this walking thing of yours?”

Sirius waved his hand with a flourish as we jogged ahead to stop right in front of you, tipping an imaginary hat. “Bragging rights, madam.”

You halted. “You’re gonna have to try better than that, Vinnie Barbarino.”

“Er — that’s good, right?” he asked, tensing up again as he composed himself.

“Depends on how you look at it.”

“Well, does he have nice hair?”

“Again, depends on how you look at it.”

“I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

“You and me both, Vinnie,” you told him with a huff as you two set foot outside.

“It’s certainly better than fruitcake,” he muttered under his breath. You leaned in closer, your brow raised in question. He shook his head and told you it was nothing.

By the time you made it to the bank of the lake, you found yourself unconsciously searching the rocks for your wand.

Sirius snorted. “You can keep looking but it’s not there.”

“Wasn’t trying to.”

He watched as you bent down to pick up a rock and moved closer to the lake. Just like you did a few nights ago, you swung your arm to skip a rock. It was kind of like a movie for him; the way your shoulders sunk a bit after getting only three skips. “I used to be able to do four.”

I’d know, Sirius thought as he grinned at the irony. I was there. Maybe I really am Snuffles.

“So, when are you going to give me my wand?” You turned around to face him again, dusting your hands as you did so.

Sirius wanted to tell you about his alter-ego badly. But at the same time, it was right there and then Sirius realized something. He normally hated the idea of a routine; loathed it, even. But he figured that maybe, just this once, he could make an exception. He didn’t mind going out every single night as Padfoot or Snuffles if it meant the world to you to have something to look forward to. In fact, the line was starting to blur between all his names: Sirius Black, Onion, Padfoot, Snuffles, Fruitcake.

Sirius cleared his throat and told you, “Monday morning when you have breakfast with me.”

“I’m not gonna have breakfast with you.”

“You are now because you’ll get a coupon.”

“What coupon?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“Bragging rights for spending time with me — Sirius Orion Black.”

“You’re awfully presumptuous.”

“Why are you so mean?” Sirius feigned pain by clutching his chest, making a show.

You bit your cheek in attempt not to laugh. “Look, just give me back my wand.”

“Give me your word that you’ll have breakfast with me first.”

“Fine,” you told him. “Now will you give me my wand back?”

Sirius let out a long sigh before taking a step forward and bending down to pick up a rock. He swung his arm backward as he made a shot.

One, two, three, four.

He faced you. “Hook, sink, liner.”

“It’s ‘hook, line, and sinker,’ how could you mess that up?”

“Damn it, James,” he cursed under his breath. “Anyway, here’s your wand.”

This definitely took you by surprise, especially when he pulled it out of his coat pocket and handed it to you with only a friendly smile and without any hesitation.

You grabbed it as fast as you could just in case he changed his mind at the last minute.

Sirius fought the urge to pick fun at the fact that this was close to what one may call fetch.

Wow, he thought. Merlin, I’m literally Snuffles. Sirius could hear his friends’ jeers light years away: Playing fetch with her, Snuffy? Will you also let her walk you? Oh, wait, you already did!

“Thank you,” you told him. “I was literally prepared to dive down there just to get my wand. I know what a big hassle it is to get it replaced and everything.”

“I know,” he said, pertaining to how he knew the lengths you were ready to go to just so you could find your wand, but you took what he said an answer to what you said last.

Sirius began walking again, and you followed. “Why didn’t you go to Hogsmeade with the others?”

“Eh, I’ve been there a lot of times. We’ll go there next time. I’ll take you to—”

You halted. “Woah, woah, who said I’ll be coming with you?”

“Time,” Sirius protested. “It tells you things even you wouldn’t be able to know.”

You scoffed as you kept walking alongside him. “Eh, well, we got Professor Trelawney for that. What do you say we visit her classroom and play with balls? I mean, orbs. No, stop laughing.”

But he didn’t stop. And honestly, neither did you; not even when you completed a turn around the grounds.

That night was a brilliant one: You were headed back downstairs, this time keeping your wand tight in your hand as you did so.

Just like as far as always can go, Snuffles sat by the lake, looking at the ripples that danced along its surface. Why did the dog suddenly look familiar?

You stood right next to Snuffles, who was now looking up at you curiously.

“I can’t stay for long,” you told the dog. “I have to sleep early, you know. I mean, you don’t, but — whatever.”

You bent down to pick up a rock again, watching it skip three times. You cursed under your breath, “How’d he do it?”

Snuffles, originally Sirius himself, snorted. You turned to the dog and shook your head, telling yourself it was your want of sleep playing tricks on you.

“Fruitcake’s actually not that bad,” you started as you picked up another rock. Sirius looked up again. “I think I’ll give him a chance.”

When you finally gave up on skipping rocks, you sat down right next to the dog. “He kinda left a ring of his, see?” You showed the dog Sirius’s ring. The dog blinked. “I’m not planning on keeping it, I’ll give it back to him on a good day.”

A bird flew by, causing you to jump a bit. “Yep, I’m gonna need to sleep this out. Go to Hagrid’s will you? Actually, no, come with me.”

You lead the dog to Hagrid’s hut and told it to stay there. Sirius thought it was funny seeing you boss him around in a gentler manner.

With a wave, you ran back to the doors and dashed up the stairs until you reached the dormitories, where you hastily got in your bed and tucked yourself in.

When breakfast came and you casually sat down right across from Sirius and beside James, a thought came to Sirius’s head again: He wanted you to know him as Sirius Black, no disguises involved. Sure, maybe he’d learn more of you if he continued doing it but . . . he wanted you to learn more of himself, too.

As for telling you his secret identity (not Batman), he decided that it’d be best to let his future self deal with it and just enjoy breakfast with you, which is hopefully just the first of many.

One last thing, though: Snuffles grew on Sirius. Safe to say that he got attached; so much that even when time told new people new fates, he found a way to let the name stay by using it as a safe codename as an attempt to become a lovable stray in the time of danger.

But that doesn’t matter just yet, not when the group was busy having one of the most brilliant Mondays to date.

Taglist: @gingerale2017 @sfdlm @maybanksslut @hey-there-angels @elevatorsdoor @mrzweasley @gwlvr @1-800-itsfreerealestate @marrymetheonott @booksarealwaysbettersworlds-blog @sexysirius @turn-to-page-394-please @greenlyblue @henqtic @badass-yn @meiitanoia @gaycatlord-stuff @just2bubbly @awakendevildays @dracomalfoyposts @crazy-beautiful @adoreyou976 @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

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youwerenevermeanttofeelalone · 3 years

Text

A Heartbeat Away | Damian Wayne

✦ pairing — older!Damian Wayne x gender neutral!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 2.7k

✦ based off the song I Should’ve Kissed You by One Direction

✦ summary — Damian is haunted by the fact that he only said good night when he should have kissed you.

✦ warnings — light angst, mentions of pregnancy (a minor character is pregnant), mentions of food and beverages, fluff.

✦ author's note i — randomly remembered my obsession with this song and couldn’t get it out of my head.

✦ author's note ii — the parts in italics are flashbacks.

════════════════════════

Ever since he started living with Jason, Damian found himself straying away from the things that held him back.

His life would never be normal, but in hindsight, he could admit things weren’t as bad.

The fallout with his father came crashing down in the worst moment possible — Dick was dead and his relationship with Tim wasn’t the best.

As little as he knew Jason, he was sure he could trust him so he asked for his help instead of somebody else’s.

And Jason didn’t say no. Whether he had the heart to do it or not was irrelevant because he still took Damian in and helped him find a job.

He hated said job.

‘It’s a job,’ you had told him, ‘you’re not supposed to like it.’

You.

Damian rarely stopped thinking about you. Calling it infatuation felt like an understatement, and yet he couldn’t find a better word to describe the whirlwind of emotions you gave him.

He still remembered the day he met you for the first time.

Jason paced in the living room, perking up every time he heard a noise outside the apartment.

You’re driving me insane,” Damian said from the small dining table.

”Roy’s late.”

”Why are you surprised?”

Jason glared at him.

Both of them heard somebody stand on the other side of the door. Their steps didn’t sound like Roy’s.

Pulling the door open, Jason was ready to snap at whoever had knocked.

“You ordered something and gave my apartment number instead of yours. Again.”

Damian didn’t recognize the voice so he slanted his body to the side to see who it was. He couldn’t stop staring.

”I’ll make it up to you.”

”Jay,” you sighed. “I’ve told you before, you just need to tell me beforehand if you don’t want things to arrive to your apartment. My roommate could have opened it.”

Damian chuckled, a single elbow resting on the table.

Jason craned his neck. “You think this is funny?”

”I think you’re a moron.”

”Shut up and come meet our neighbor.”

Damian didn’t have to be told twice. He stood up with an eagerness he hadn’t felt since Jason texted him to let him know he had found the materials so he could build a suit and go back to patrol.

”This is my brother Damian.” Jason turned around to place the package under the table next to the door.

He knew you’d either seen him before or heard about him the moment his eyes landed on you. People always had a visceral reaction when they met him, some found him attractive, others attempted to ask for favors, and some recoiled in fear.

But you didn’t. You held his gaze and stood in the same spot you had been since you knocked on the door.

And whether it had been in a newspaper or a gossip forum, he was glad you knew something about him. There was something about the way you stared at him that screamed for him to trust you. Wishful thinking, perhaps.

“Nice to meet you,” you politely said, smiling at him.

Stunned by the fact that you hadn’t mocked him, and now assuming it wasn’t wishful thinking after all, he tilted his head. Most people did mock now that he wasn’t under his father’s wing.

Still, he said, “Likewise.”

Your smile became warmer. “I live three doors down the hallway in case you need anything.”

He felt a pang in his chest at the gesture. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

Weird sensations in his chest were normal when he was around you. Befriending you was easier than he’d ever admit and talking to you became the highlight of his day.

The pangs in his chest turned into a fluttering sensation in a heartbeat. You’d make him feel breathless when you did the smallest things — when you smiled at him, when you complained about other neighbors with him, when you asked about his day.

He felt special. For once in his life for being the closest he had ever been to resemble a normal person.

And he also remembered, quite painfully, that night he let you walk away without mustering the courage to tell you —or show you— the way you made him feel.

The deserted hallway was yet another proof of how easy it was to lose track of time around you.

Damian hadn’t expected to get back home past midnight or to skip patrol, but 1:00 AM turned into 2:00 and he couldn’t part from you no matter how many times he tried to remind himself to do it.

He hadn’t even expected to enjoy the state fair as an adult, yet he couldn’t remember a time he had more fun than that evening.

You gazed up at him, waiting for him to either do or say something. Anything other than stare at you in the middle of the hallway.

You had already thanked him for making you company, there was no way you’d say anything. And he froze.

“Good night,” he sputtered.

Your brow twitched. “Night.”

He watched you unlock your door and get inside your apartment with a heavy heart.

You moved out a couple months ago and he hadn’t seen you since then. The texts the two of you exchanged were sporadic and they bordered in formal.

He should have kissed you, he was aware of that. And to make matters worse, Jason chewed him out when he found out.

He still looked for you every morning he left the apartment as though you’d remember you had forgotten something. That you had forgotten him.

Jon said it was for the best, that somebody as sweet as you didn’t deserve to carry with his baggage.

Damian knew his best friend to be right, but how could he let go of you that easily when you made him see he was more than his mistakes and regrets?

He didn’t need anybody to carry him, he could drag himself anywhere if needed.

He simply hated the hole in the pit of his stomach every time he entertained the possibility of having to see you one day with somebody else because he wasn’t brave enough to say what he needed to let out.

The idea of being out of time was killing him slowly, so naturally, he’d sought a quick death.

════════════════════════

You gasped upon opening the door. You weren’t expecting anybody to be outside — much less Damian Wayne.

“Oh!”

“Hi,” he softly greeted.

You blinked rapidly. “Did you need anything?”

“I wanted to... Are you on your way out?”

“I’m just dropping this off for my mom.” You momentarily lifted the bags you were carrying in one hand. “She lives nearby.”

He spared a look to the reusable bags in your grasp. “Is she sick?”

“Pregnant,” you explained, playing with your keys. “It’s high risk due to her age so we take as much care of her as we can.”

Damian walked backward, allowing you to come out of the apartment and lock the door.

As you pushed the door to make sure it was locked, he asked, “Would you care for some company?”

Turning around, you gave him a small smile. “That would be lovely.”

He reached over. “Let me help.”

“They’re not heavy.”

“I insist.”

”Okay.” You handed him the bags and took the initiative to lead the way.

He reached your side immediately.

Not knowing what else to do, aware you’d let something slip if you didn’t find something, you made small talk. “How’s Jason?”

“As annoying as always.”

You still remembered when he meant those words, when he complained about Jason and how often they butted heads. His tone was different now, lighter, almost playful.

“Good to know some things never change.”

You walked the streets with an ease you hadn’t been able to in years. Growing up in that neighborhood meant which streets to avoid, and sadly, most of them were unsafe.

There were many things you could have asked or said, perhaps apologize for being cold while texting.

You were in your right to be cold and you could have just not answered, but you wanted to keep contact even though you were hurt.

Damian was great company. It was a shame you misread the entire situation and couldn’t go back to chat with him like before.

It took you a few attempts to get them to talk comfortably, but once he was able to, he didn’t look back. He even gossiped with you.

Stopping in front of the house, you looked around to make sure your mom had the windows open. Once sure, you walked up the front steps.

You withdrew a single key from your back pocket and extended your other hand so Damian would give you the bags.

The floors were recently mopped which meant your aunt had visited that day.

“It’s me,” you yelled so your mom wouldn’t get up. It was her time to be watching TV in the living room.

Carrying the bags towards the kitchen, you caught the jingle from a commercial.

You filled a glass with water and added a couple of ice cubes.

Your mom was comfortably sat on a recliner, feet up and remote control on her thigh. “Hurry back before it gets dark.”

“Don’t worry, a friend of mine walked me here.” You handed her the glass. “Do you need anything else?”

She ignored your question as she took the glass. “Who is it?”

“You don’t know him.”

“Him?” She lifted an eyebrow.

You hadn’t mentioned a guy to her in almost two years now, her surprise was understandable. “Not now.”

“Oh, so it is like that?”

Maybe it was and maybe that was the issue. She wouldn’t blame you if she knew him like you did, if she heard him laugh or saw him change his demeanor to accommodate to somebody else’s sensibilities.

You didn’t think you’d witness anything remotely close to that when you met him for the first time, but you learned really quickly that Damian was full of surprises.

“I’ll call in the morning in case you need something. I’m working ’til 3:00 PM tomorrow.”

“It’s okay.” She took a sip of water. “Did you bring anything sweet?”

“Homemade muffins and a few chocolate bars. Do you want one now?”

She shook her head. “I’ll wait after dinner.”

You kissed her cheek. “Call me, please.”

“Go, go.” She ushered you to go with a gesture of her hand. “Don’t make your friend wait.”

It was your time to ignore her comment.

Damian was sat on the front steps when you came out, looking up at the darkening sky.

“Is everything alright?” you asked in a whisper as to not scare him.

“No.” He shook his head and stood up. “I mean, yes. How’s your mother?”

“She’s good. Having fun watching reality TV.”

Damian squinted. “Is reality TV really that entertaining?”

“It’s mindless stuff, but it’s fun sometimes. You get to judge other people’s lives without feeling remorse because it’s most likely fake.”

The walk back was way shorter and you didn’t want to part. It was time to swallow your pride and your feelings for him.

He didn’t part ways with you at the building entrance. He walked beside you until you reached the elevator — Damian extended his arm to keep the doors open and allowed you to get in first. He followed suit.

You turned the lights on with Damian on your tail. He did wait for you to invite him in, but you were sure both of you knew there was no way you wouldn’t.

“I made muffins. Do you want one?”

Damian nodded.

You guided him to the dining table where a trippy vase in pastel colors rested with flowers.

He looked around the apartment as he walked towards the table. As he sat down, he fixed his eyes on the vase.

“Green or black?”

“Mmh?”

“Your tea.”

You could swear you saw him smile to himself.

“Black.” He placed his cellphone on the table. “You still have that thing,” he said, referring to the trippy vase.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

He huffed a laugh. “Jason said it was ugly.”

“Jason doesn’t have the best taste in the world,” you lightheartedly retorted.

The vase was precious to you, a gift from Damian who spooked you in the middle of a rainy night and made you knock your favorite vase.

You set a plate in front of him and placed the muffin there. “Your tea’s almost ready.”

“No roommate this time?”

“Nope. I miss Lou, but I don’t miss having a roommate that much.”

“I thought the move was temporary just so you could be close to your mother...”

“It is, but there’s still a long way to go. The baby should be here next month and she’ll need help around the house.” You disappeared for a moment as you looked for a mug.

Having found one, you dropped the teabag and poured the boiling water in.

“Sugar.” You put the sugar bowl down just in front of the mug. Feeling his eyes on the side of your face, you gazed at him. “It’s brown, don’t worry.”

He relaxed and uncovered the sugar bowl. “Is the father of your mother’s child around?”

“Yeah.” You sat down on the chair closest to his. “She remarried last year and her husband tries to help, but you know, work gets in the way.”

“Tell me if I can help with anything.”

“Don’t worry, you have enough things to juggle with already.”

“What’s one more? At least let me make you company or walk you home. These streets are dangerous.”

You softly nodded. From the day you met him you knew you would never be able to tell him no — and having his company after a long day sounded nice.

“So...”

“So,” you encouraged him to go on.

“Are you seeing anybody?”

“No. I thought I was a little while ago, but...” You hoped he’d understand what you were getting at. “I guess something got lost in translation.”

“Did it? Or was he too much of a coward to show the way he felt?”

“Don’t.” You hated hearing him talk like that about himself.

“You don’t know how much I regret not kissing you that night. I—“ He sighed, twisting his mouth as he frowned. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“At least now I know you did think about doing it.”

“I did. Many times throughout the night.” He turned to the side to fully look at you. “I wanted to find the perfect moment and became overwhelmed. Sounds like a bad excuse, but I swear it’s the truth.”

“I believe you.”

Damian scooted closer and reached over to place his hand on your face. Softly, he caressed your cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

You leaned onto his touch, tilting your head. “Me too. Sorry for being such an ass.”

“It’s fine. I would have reacted similarly.”

“Similarly or worse?”

“Worse.”

You laughed, making him smile.

“May I?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Damian leaned in, placing his free hand on the back of your chair as his nose brushed yours.

His lips softly connected with yours, but the slow pace didn’t last. The two of you had wasted too much time, thrown away too many opportunities to be this close —or closer— and patience wasn’t a virtue Damian possessed.

The chair was now balancing itself in two legs, making you interrupt the kiss with a squeal.

Damian then made you stand up and wrapped his arms around your waist. His lips were immediately back on yours.

Your hands went up to rest on his biceps as he kissed you again. His arms tightened around you as he deepened the kiss and you melted.

You melted into the kiss, onto his warmth, due to the fact that he wanted this as much as you did.

Kissing him had become a mere fantasy for you, and there he was, not only making it a reality but exceeding your expectations.

Grabbing him by the neck, you broke the kiss in search of air. His breath was barely ragged and you remembered he told you he could hold it in for a long time.

You needed him to teach you just to be able to kiss him for longer.

“That was nice,” you said, still breathless.

“Yeah, really nice. We should do it more often.”

“Are you asking me out?”

“I’m telling you I want you to be mine.”

All in or nothing, of course. Jason had warned you that Damian didn’t take things lightly.

But you were okay with that.

#damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x plus size reader #damian wayne

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badwithten · 4 years

Photo

〉sungchan x fem!reader

〉word count 1k

〉from my 500 follower event

〉for @amaryllisray i feel like i had a fever dream while writing this idk what happened, its kinda shitty but enjoy <3

Sungchan was a very attentive person, putting time and care into whatever he was doing. It made for cute moments whenever it was his turn to cook dinner or when he picked out a movie for the two of you to watch. And you appreciated it. Although sometimes being woken up at seven in the morning because he thought you were wasting too much of your day was frustrating. You knew the kid had good intentions.

With quarantine keeping you locked inside your tiny apartment, you had been spending a lot of time with your roommate. Discovering things about him that you hadn’t noticed in the past year of your college life. Did he always have empty ears? You had sworn you had seen a shining piece of metal hanging off of them before. What about when he wasted you in Just Dance, was he always that good at dancing? It made you realize that while your roommate had been paying attention and befriending you, you really didn’t know much about him.

Sure he was nice with a cute smile, but what else was there about him? Exams and studies had kept your mind occupied. But now that you were free from all of that, it gave you a chance to talk to him properly. Actually appreciate his words and thoughts without the distant thought of your next quiz in the back of your mind.

But you had recently discovered his desire to visit a famous restaurant a couple of hours away from where the two of you lived. Without a car and no public transport available, he was stuck at home. This was the perfect time to offer him a ride to the restaurant. And maybe being stuck in the car with him for a few hours would make you pay a bit more attention to him.

Just like you had expected he was pretty excited to go. Planning his outfit out the night before like a kid going on a field trip. Which is why it made you feel like shit when stuff started to go wrong. First, you overslept and had to rush to get ready. Your car seemed to be way dirtier than you remembered and your card declined at the restaurant meaning Sungchan had to pay for it anyway.

“I’m so sorry about today,” The sun had left the sky, the two of you driving back in the dark. “I really wanted it to be a fun trip but I kind of ruined it”

“I still had fun, don’t worry about it” It was hard to tell if he was being genuine or just trying not to make you feel bad. But it worked, calming you down a little. Now the only thing you had to worry about was driving the two of you back home safely.

But even that seemed to be a challenge as your engine sputtered and slowed down, giving you barely enough time to turn off of the road. Your eyes went wide as you watched the scene unfold, the flashing empty light on the gas, the bouncing of your car and then the view of a snowy field as you moved off of the road.

“I thought we would make it” Your voice was small, broken as you tried to think about what to do next. But you were defeated, a state of exhaustion coming over you at the late hour of the night after a busy day out. When you were running late this morning, you didn’t want to lose any time at your reservation so you insisted that you would make it there and back with the gas left in your car. But you were just proved very wrong.

“Did we just run out of petrol?” You don’t reply, hiding your face in the steering wheel with a groan. Before he can reply or ask another question, you open the door and slide out of the car. Shutting the door in his face as he leans over to see what you’re doing.

The air outside is a lot colder than what you had expected, arms wrapping around your body as you feel your face go frosty. You can see your breath in the moonlight, looking up into the empty sky.

“Y/N?” Sungchan joins you outside, standing by the edge of the road where a thick layer of snow has formed. You walk over to him, struggling to see his face in such a dark night.

“I’m really sorry Sungchan, I’ll try to call my insurance.” His arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you into his side for a comforting hug. One that also warms you slightly. “I really wanted today to be fun, I just ruined everything. This is my fault. I really am sorry”

“Aw Y/N,” You can feel the tears forming in your eyes, guilt for ruining what was supposed to be a fun day eating you alive. “Not everything is your fault, you can’t take the blame for it all. These things just happen sometimes”

You look at him, eyes sparkling and a small smile at his words. “But this time it totally is all your fault” But then it's pulled all away again.

“What?!” Before you can step back and get a reply, his arm pulls you back, letting go with a swing and his airy laugh as you fall back into the snow. “Sungchan!”

You freeze up, body going tense at the sudden cold and wet snow surrounding your body the further you sink down. You watch his silhouette as he laughs at you but it's not long before he copies jumping face down into the snow. Despite the day you ruined, he managed to save the night.

Another thing you failed to notice about Sunchan was that he was an easygoing person. You didn't need to stress the small things around him. He just appreciated the thought no matter what is was. So even though things didn't go to plan today, he got to spend time with you. And that's all that mattered to him. Laughing in the winter night, throwing snow at each other while you're stranded on an empty highway. To him, it was the perfect way to end a day that didnt go to plan. Because he knew you had good intentions.

#unfortunatus: paradiso #NCTmentary.net #nct #nct imagines #nct x reader #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct fluff #sungchan #sungchan imagines #sungchan x reader #sungchan fluff

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fantasiawandering · 3 years

Text

The Year of....

Every year, my found family in the city gathers together, and we assign a name or theme to the year, predicting what we think is to come and outlining what we expect to accomplish. I keep forgetting what they are, so this annual post is partly for my own reference, and partly to give an idea of just what we’ve been up to. Often times we share the year names, though in recent years, we have diverged and had our own.

2006 - Year of Change — it was the year I quit working other part-time jobs to focus on making a career at the museum.

2007 - Year of Opportunity — it was the year I made it into teacher’s college so that I could improve my chances at becoming a museum teacher.

2008 - Year of Transformation — the year I went overseas and became a very different person than I was when I left.

2009 - Year of Possibility — The year I came back home, an experienced certified teacher, and got my teaching job at the museum.

2010 — Year of Balance — The year I started to get a better sense for the balance between my professional and private lives.

2011 - Year of Discovery — The year I became an instructor at the career college, discovering just how little I actually knew about the English language and how much I was capable of.

2012 - Year of Challenge — A difficult year with many goals set, advancement at work and making a name for myself foremost among them.

2013 - Year of Let’s Do This Thing — This is where we begin to depart from the theme. The year I mastered the job interview. The year I redefined myself first as social media voice of the galleries, then as a trainer and mentor, then in the new full-time job. The year I decided to just go all out on the fanfic and see where it got me. The year I went to Vancouver to take the dance course I’ve been wanting to take since Transformation. The year I joined the dance troupe.

2014 — Year of Finally! — This is the year in which things I have been working toward since the Year of Change finally come to fruition, and also the year of goals set: Finally finish the novel. Finally get an agent. Finally learn to write animated scripts. Finally meet people I’ve longed to meet for some time. Finally find love? Who knows. Maybe. There’s a big open year ahead of me.

So 2014 turned out to be a very good example of why you choose these things very carefully – sometimes they have unintended interpretations. There were a couple of not-so-good Finally!s (finally had a nervous breakdown, finally had serious problems with a boss, finally parted ways with the roommate I’ve lived with on and off since 1997). But there were some very good ones, too. Finally talked to certain people I’ve really wanted to talked to. Finally befriended them. Finally worked a full-time job with benefits. Finally got a vacation day. Finally completed NaNo. Finally danced with my troupe. Finally finished my house.

2015 - Year of Elevation – The year I aimed to take things that were almost there to the next level. I didn’t quite get where I wanted with my job – still not full time – but I’m closer to it than I was. I worked on a lot of the mental stuff that was holding me back, and really got a handle on the ADHD. I didn’t quite get where I’d hoped with the original writing, but got several steps closer. I took my home from merely finished to something I find really nice. I met friends I’d only ever talked to online and elevated online friendships to in-person ones as well.

2016 - Year of Accomplishment – It took a lot of mulling to find just the right word for my goals for this year, but this one really sums it up. I want to take the progress made during Elevation to really accomplish something. Both large scale, like a permanent job and finishing/selling the book, to smaller scale, like keeping the momentum going with the jewellery, and finishing off some of the ongoing fic.

2017- Year of Kindness – This was the year I tried to do two things. First, being kinder to myself, especially in terms of my neurodiversity. Embracing the ADHD, and trying to see it as an asset and not a hindrance. Eating and sleeping better, and letting myself do more of what I loved. I also wanted to reflect on the opportunities there were for being kind to others, and to try to do more to go out of my way to show kindness in a year when many people were going to be hurting for it.

2017 took a bit of a turn, and it’s an interesting reflection. I think I accomplished what I set out to with my neurodiversity and started embracing it at work rather than trying to hide it. I tried to be someone people could reach out to for help, mentored with teens,supported artists when I could. But after mum got sick, I did a fair amount of running myself into the ground trying to hold all the threads together, and I haven’t been very nice to myself the last couple of months. Losing the writing this year hurt. A lot.

And then in the last couple days of 2017, I got the writing back. And realized what 2018 is.

2018 - Year of Rediscovery. The trial that was 2017 took a lot of things away from me. Reading. Writing. Friendships. Dancing. Jewellery making. Cross stitch. They all just sort of drifted away when I wasn’t looking as I struggled with work and trying to be there for mum, and the sheer mental exhaustion that made me a bit of a hermit when I wasn’t doing either.

2019 - Year of the Void. 2019 started out differently. The friend who usually hosts the gathering was away at a wedding. And I honestly don’t remember what we did that New Year or what I decided 2019 was. But the hole at the start of it thematically carried through. I lost Mum. I lost Miles. Writing left again for a while. So I’m retroactively naming it Year of the Void. There were some good moments. But on the whole, 2019 was not kind to me. Which brings us to….

2020 - Year of Reconstruction. I think the goal in 2020 will be to continue the work I started in late 2019 of putting myself back together. Therapy was a really good start. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to continue in 2020 to get the writing back, and hopefully make a transition to a better job that will let me get the rest of my life back on track as well. I made a good start, with good friends, and the missing friend from 2019 back where she belonged. 2021 - The Lost Year. It was a weird year. It was different. We had a virtual New Year, and I vaguely recall I wanted to continue with Year of Rebuilding because I wasn't finished yet. But it was weird enough that I forgot to record it, so I have to guess a bit. 2022 - Year of Reconfiguration. Last year, as hard as it was, actually brought a lot of good things. It turns out that when you're really good at creating online learning experiences, a pandemic opens a lot of doors for you. I managed to pick up a lot of opportunities, in terms of career, but they're all a mess that don't fit together and take up 14-20 hours a day, up to 7 days a week. That isn't sustainable, and I'd like to reconfigure things into a schedule that isn't going to burn me out completely. And I'd also very much like to try to reconfigure my brain to get the writing back. PTSD reconfigured it straight through the place where stories came from. I'd like to reconfigure it back.

#New Year

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zims-left-shoe · 4 years

Note

Can you do a Dib x Reader that’s into tarot cards and horoscopes? Also can make this AU a college AU? I know you said you write the characters up to high school but I was just wondering if you would. It’s fine you do them in high school.

Yeah! Just a warning, I’m not super experienced with tarot cards and everything, so apologies if a lot of it is inaccurate. I hope it’s still okay!!

The air was warm, and the sweet scents of pastries mingled with the sharp smell of coffee. The surrounding chatter of voices and calm music served as decent white noise. You lifted your drink to your lips, eyes drifting to the window next to you. Shades of grey painted the sky, muted tones growing ever darker as time ticked by. Outside, the air had a nasty nip to it, and you were not looking forward to stepping outside again. Plus, you were enjoying yourself in the moment. Your gaze was drawn back to the man across from you, his large glasses fogging slightly from the heat of his own drink.

You were more than delighted that he had asked you to come study with him at the coffee shop. Sure, you had wished he had the courage to bite the bullet and ask you on an actual date, but on a chilly winter afternoon a relaxing coffee hangout and study session was still enjoyable. Admittedly, you had developed feelings for the reserved cryptid fanatic who sat next to you in your cell biology class. That being said, you were ecstatic when he had quietly asked that morning if you would like to grab a coffee and study with him. Although you wished for a bit more, the current situation was completely fine by you.

"Have you been doing anything interesting lately?" Both of you had finished your work quite some time ago, spending the rest of the time talking to each other, a silence only settling for a brief minute or two before you continued the conversation. Sure, it was small talk, but the kind of talk that occurs between friends when they can sense their time together is drawing to a close, and that the hangout will end soon. The kind of talk when you aren't ready to leave each other's company, so you attempt to draw out the conversation with simple things.

"Oh, you know, only what every normal college kid does. Party hard, baby." The straight face he was attempting to hold fell apart almost immediately as he broke into a chuckle. "Nah. Just the usual, studying the paranormal. Aliens, ghosts, all that stuff." A smile spread on your face. Of course he was. You found his unique obsession with spooks and cryptids cute, and you were glad he had a passion in life. Even if that passion was restricted while he was away at school, he would still find ways to express himself. He was always scribbling supernatural doodles in the margins of his notes, monitoring the local cryptid stories constantly. "Sorry. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm just not that interesting."

"Please. Liking the paranormal is much more interesting than being a party animal whose only hobby is getting wasted." You paused, setting your cup down on the table. "I wouldn't be here otherwise. I'm only attrac-I mean, drawn, to people who are intriguing."

Nice save, stupid... You thought to yourself. At this point, you were unsure if you should just tell him how you felt. You were reasonably confident that he felt the same way, but he was just too damn nervous to ruin your friendship.

"Okay then, any secrets, or maybe embarrassing stories? Everyone has some. If you tell me one of yours, I'll tell you a story of mine." You bumped your bag that was resting underneath the table with your foot as you stared out at him, trying to pressure him into telling you something good. He always had the best stories. Especially when they were about aliens.

"My whole life is one embarrassing story after the other." He set his cup down as well, finding your eyes once more. "But, I guess one time I had my DNA fused with baloney." You laughed, believing him to be joking. You believed him a majority of the time, but that one was just so outlandish it couldn't possibly be true. "I'm not lying! Remember my stupid alien classmate? Well, he decided to get me back for throwing lunch meat in his face by making me sit on a tack that fused baloney DNA with my own." He was completely serious, so that left only two options: he was either completely insane or it was the truth. For the time you've known and befriended him, he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders, so what the hell. Why not believe him?

"I'm honestly not sure which part to ask for a follow up on, the alien classmate having baloney genetic makeup on the ready or being fused with sandwich meat." Brushing stray strands of hair from your face, you sighed, knowing that your story was in no way going to top that. "Mine isn't that exciting or embarrassing, but in high school, I charged for tarot readings in the bathrooms as a way to make some money. Well, I did until a teacher reported me for 'Satan worshipping'. Which, for starters is complete bullshit, but she was just jealous I made more money a week than she did." You smirked, remembering the look on her face when she confiscated your receipt book that you used to keep track of your profits.

"Wait, you used to read tarot cards?" Dib offered you his full attention, eyes filled with wonder. "I've always thought it was cool, but I just never really had gotten into it. Too busy saving the Earth from aliens and all that."

"I still do. You have your cryptids and space creatures, I have my tarot cards and horoscopes." To your amazement, Dib appeared to be enchanted by the subject. Then again, you supposed it was more or less something you could see him getting into.

"How did I not know that about you?" You shrugged in response to his words. It had just never came up in conversation. "Maybe we could hang out again soon and you could walk me through it?" He looked to be a bit apprehensive, almost as if you had already rejected the idea in his mind. You didn't even have to consider the idea. Not only did you harbor feelings for him, you would jump at the chance to show off your skills and interests.

"I would love to. My roommate has to work Friday night, maybe you could come to my dorm then?" A dorky grin spread across his face as he reached for his cup to drink the remaining coffee.

"It's a date, then." His face flushed as he realized his wording. "Not like that! As friends! You know what I mean." His fingers drummed on the tabletop, and you were sure he was sweating.

"I mean, unless...?" You made an overexaggerated thinking face, and after a moment, you both busted up laughing. However, you were of course only half joking.

(more under the cut)

Pushing open the door, you stepped into the room you had made your own. Kicking aside some shoes your roommate had left piled by the door, you let the man behind you inside.

"Sorry for the mess, I asked my roommate to clean up. They didn't."

"It's fine. You should see my dorm, it's definitely worse." Chuckling, you led him to your side of the room, which was a stark contrast from the other. Everything, for the most part anyway, was organized within bins, your desk nice and tidy despite having many trinkets and various things resting on the desktop. You had made a nice personal space under your bed, it was where you would often sit when you got tired of your desk or bed. Gesturing for him to take a seat on the floor under your bed, you went over to your desk, shuffling through one of your drawers until you felt your fingers close around your tarot deck.

"You have any questions before we start?" You hummed as you closed the drawer.

Dib's eyes were intently focused on you as he sat cross-legged underneath your bed. Finally, he spoke, albeit tentatively. "Just one, but it's kind of stupid."

"There are no stupid questions."

"Okay, in that case...does reading tarot cards like, open up your third eye and let you see ghosts and stuff?" Staring into his face revealed that he wasn't kidding. He was legitimately asking if you could see ghosts when you learned to read tarot cards.

"I changed my mind. There are stupid questions." Laughter slipped out as you sunk down the the floor across from him, tipping the box in your hands until the cards slid out. "Of course it does."

"Woah, really?" His cinnamon eyes sparkled with excitement, and yet again, a flurry of giggles escaped you.

"No, of course not. It doesn't make you see ghosts. It develops greater intuition and understanding." Dib let out a long breath, gaze falling to the floor as he picked at the chipping black polish on his nails, regretting he ever asked that question.

"Can we just forget I ever said that? Please?" You nodded as you separated the deck in your hands, shuffling them together. You did this many times over, the sharp sounds of cards coming together cutting through the stillness that had settled over the room. Dib stared at the cards in your hand, watching as you shuffled them with skill. He had lost track of how many times you had done so by the time you had stacked them together for the final time.

"So, is there anything specific you want to learn? I can't exactly teach you to read, since it takes a lot of practice and a deck you're comfortable with." As you looked to him expectantly, he appeared to be at a total loss for what to even ask for. "I could give you a simple reading just for fun."

"Sure! But, uh, how do they work?" A smile crept onto your face. You felt a warm glow of happiness at being able to share your interests with someone who was genuinely interested in learning about them.

"Well, if I were to do it by myself, I would shuffle them as I did now. It helps bring your energy to the cards, and therefore you will be more drawn to certain ones. Plus, you can better interpret them." You passed the deck to Dib. "If you can shuffle, shuffle them. Do it several times."

"Okay...what exactly are you reading for?" He began shuffling, although not as cleanly as you. A few times the cards had slipped from his grip, flying out in all directions. Every time that would happen, he gathered the cards and began to shuffle again as he listened to you.

"Well, we're just going to do a simple spread of three, but it can be for almost anything. Your past, present, and future, advice for obstacles, relationships, all of that stuff."

"Relationships?" Dib stacked the cards for a final time, handing them back to you. You took them, spreading them out in front of you, face down.

"Yeah, there's all different types of readings for relationships. Is that the simple spread you want?" He thought for a moment, a hint of a smile playing at his lips as he looked to you.

"I think so. You said there's different types of relationship readings, so just make an executive decision for me."

"That's not how this works." Your sigh was broken by a chuckle. "But fine. I'll do a spread where a card represents you, the other person, and the relationship." You found yourself wishing for a good outcome, thinking that he was most likely asking about the relationship he could possibly have with you, or at least that's what you were hoping for. "Pick three cards that you're drawn to and line them up across from you."

"Alright..." He stared at the arc of cards that was laid out in the space between you, deliberating, eyes carefully calculating. He brushed a finger across the glossy backs of the cards, finally deciding on two close to the middle, and one on the leftmost edge. He laid them out as you had asked, looking back to you expectantly. "Now what?"

"Now I give you your reading. I'll try my best to interpret the cards in the context of your life, but don't hold it against me if I'm not one hundred percent accurate." You flipped over the spread, the three cards facing up.

"Did I do good...?"

"It's not about making the right choices, it's about being drawn to the cards." You chided, looking at his spread. The cards that had been turned over were an upright Nine of Wands, a reversed Hanged Man, and an upright World. "Let's start with you." You pushed the card a little closer to him. It depicted a bandaged man leaning heavily on a wooden wand, surrounded by the other eight. "This is the Nine of Wands."

"Is it bad?" He looked curious, but there were concerned undertones in his expression.

"No, not necessarily. As a card, it represents courage, determination, and resilience. In the context of your part in the relationship, there may be or have been setbacks for you personally, but you have the strength to overcome those things. You might get hurt, or things may be tough and uncertain for you right now, but you will persist and get through it." A light blush dusted his cheeks as he nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds about right...does getting in your own way count as a setback?" Dib chuckled, running a hand through his dark hair.

"Sure. If I had to offer advice...no risk, no reward, right?" You both locked eyes for a moment, a hush falling over the room yet again. Again, this same, infuriating dance. You both were aware of how you felt. Yet neither would make a move.

"I suppose..." Dib actually seemed to be taking all of this into deep consideration. You couldn't help the hope that you felt rising in your chest.

"Alright, next...the other individual. This is the Hanged Man, but it's reversed." Again, you pushed the card forward. It depicted a man who was supposed to be hanging by the ankle from a tree, but from the direction it was turned, it appeared he was more standing upright.

"Are reversed cards bad?"

"They can be. The reversed Hanged Man for example generally means that the person is ready to go but is being held back. In context of the other person in your case, maybe they're ready to jump into a relationship but you might be holding them back by not taking a chance." Okay, so maybe that wasn't really a reading. You may have been guilty of inserting your own personal feelings into the reading, since you assumed the relationship in question was between yourself and Dib. You recognized the hint of irritation that was edging your words, so you drew in a deep breath, continuing on in a softer tone. "You know, like you said. You said your setback could be getting in your own way. You might be overthinking everything, which is restricting the other person from taking the next step."

"You think so?" Again, that damned knowing tone. When you looked into his eyes, you knew that he was aware of how you felt. And yet he still stopped himself every time from taking that leap. Was he waiting for you to make the first move? You hoped not. Sure, it may have been hypocritical, but you wanted no part in asking for a more romantic end to your friendship.

Clearing your throat, you decided to move to the last card of the spread. "The relationship itself. This card is the World." You held it up this time to show him, wishing to hold onto it. The card illustrated a naked woman in the middle of a wreath, surrounded by various animal heads. "Generally, it represents being in the right place, pausing before the next stage." Admittedly, that was not the reading you had desired. You didn't want to stay as only friends. "In context of the relationship, it could be interpreted as staying put, and just appreciating where the two of you are. There will be lots of options and pathways ahead and all that." You waved your hand dismissively, unable to fight off the exhaustion that was settling in. "So, anyway, that was your very basic reading." You stacked the cards together again, lazily patting the ground around you for the box.

"Is this stuff, like, certain advice?"

"You mean, do you have to take it? No, I suppose not. It's just suggestions and life advice based on interpretations."

Dib crawled his way over to sit by your side as you put your cards safely back in their box. You quirked an eyebrow, yet said nothing. "Okay, because I'm not too into that last one." Without tearing his eyes away from yours, his fingers brushed your own. He kept eyeing your face to confirm that what he was doing was alright. Always cautious, that one.

"I probably shouldn't give my input, since it's your life advice, but me either." A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as his fingers finally laced themselves with yours, his free hand drifting up to your face. His touch was light, so much so that you weren't even sure if it was there. In that moment, Dib was a walking contradiction, unsure of himself yet completely secure at the same time.

"But if you're reading the cards, aren't I asking for your input?" Slowly he leaned his face closer to yours, hand still resting on your cheek. Fitting, wasn't it? Everything the both of you had ever done was drug out to the maximum. Whether it was that you both enjoyed the frustration or you wanted to extend every moment you had together, you would never know. Nor did it matter. Especially not then.

"I suppose you are." You reached out a hand to run it through his hair, intertwining your fingers with the dark strands. "You're sure, then?" Each word that was spoken became progressively fainter. The entire time you spoke, his lips were barely a breath away from your own.

As if your words were the cue he needed to commit, he murmured a quick, "I think so." before finally closing the distance and pressing his lips softly against yours. He didn't need to speak for you to know that was all he had been dreaming of doing for a long while. It was obvious in the magical way he was moving his lips in time with your own, in the way delighted hums and mumbles would rise from his throat. In your opinion, there was something to be said about mouth-to-mouth communication. This was possibly the happiest you had ever seen him, you didn't need to be a master of intuition to interpret that. You felt him smile into the kiss, and you couldn't resist smiling along with him.

Dib finally pulled away after what felt like both an eternity and hardly any time at all. "You said it yourself. No risk, no reward." His grin was wide, and his eyes shone with joy behind his large glasses.

"Correct." Your hand fell from his hair to his coat, fingers playing with the fabric of the collar. "I usually charge for tarot readings, but for you, another kiss and consider your tab paid."

"Sounds fair enough to me." Leaning in once more, Dib planted yet another kiss on your lips. It was much quicker than the previous one, but after pulling back he proceeded to pepper several little kisses all over your face. Each was very light and brief, leaving your skin feeling tingly. His lips found your own once more, both hands tangling themselves in your hair. A simple tarot reading had somehow morphed into a very physical expression of feelings that had been pushed down for months. You wouldn't complain, though.

"Thank you for your payment." Your words were broke by giggles after you had parted.

"Of course." Dib's gaze drifted to the box of cards that was sitting off to the side, his smile never wavering. "You know, you should teach me how to read those."

"Only if you take me cryptid hunting."

"Deal." He laughed at the determined smirk on your face, wrapping his arms around you. You let him pull you into a hug, your arms snaking around him as if that was where they were always meant to be.

"So, can we safely consider ourselves ex-friends now? Because personally, I feel that we're much better off as lovers."

"Like I said before, I trust your input, it's what I asked for."

"So, lovers it is?"

"Lovers it is." Dib's voice was pleasant as you snickered into his chest, more than pleased with how the day had went. You sensed that he would agree with that notion.

#invader zim #invader zim fanfiction #dib x reader #invader zim x reader #invader zim fic #invader zim one shot #invader zim oneshot #dib membrane #fanfiction #fanfic #request

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aloalovera · 4 years

Text

The week boasted no irregularities at Night Raven College, an unusual feat for an institution of its background. You however, having lived every week since your arrival shrouded with stress if not by the overblottings, then a troublesome class assignment, rather enjoyed the silence and appreciated it(while you still could).

It was Friday and the last bell of the day had rung, a cacophony of relieved sighs following the loud ringing alongside the rustling of materials being put away. You, as well as your irritating, arrogant cat roommate packed your bags as the teacher gave one last reminder of the homework. As it was the weekend, you would concern yourself with it until Sunday night.

You turned to Grimm as you both stood in the hallway, Ace and Deuce having just exited the classroom amongst a throng of final period students eager to return to their dorms. “I was about to tell Grimm, but since you’re both here, I’ll let everyone know,” you said as Deuce and Ace arrived to your standing point, “I’m not sure I’ll make it to movie night this evening so you guys can start without me.”

The four of you had planned a perfect and relaxing evening with enough food that would be enough to satisfy your craving for junk. Needless to say, you were annoyed to have missed such an opportunity. Especially as your guys’ schedules had uniformly lined up after a very long time of deliberation. Crowley sure had a knack for ruining your opportunities to relax.

Ace shrugged, “It’s not a big deal, let’s just reschedule for another day.”

“But we’ve been planning this for weeks! For once we all are not super tired after a single day. Besides, we already have all the snacks and finally convinced Headmaster to let us borrow his projection device-“

“Like Ace said,” began Deuce, interrupting Grim on his whining tirade, “it’s not like we can’t reschedule. Though I’m a little disappointed, I wouldn’t want you missing your errands.”

“By the way Prefect, since we’re on the subject, where are you going?” Ace still had that carefree smile, it eased your nerves for what was to come this afternoon.

You pulled out your student ID and pointed out what set it apart from regular students’. “This stamped crest at the bottom right corner recognizes me as an official Dorm leader, it will also let me into the room where Dorm leaders hold their meetings...”

The stamp in question was just like the official school crest, except the crow was positioned differently and instead of black print, it was red. You stared at it shortly before pocketing the laminated identification card.

“So, if I am understanding correctly,” Deuce muttered, “you’re attending a Dorm leader meeting?!” You winced at his booming words but nodded, a little confused with his outburst. He didn’t let you linger with confusion, “It’s just that, and these are just what the rumors say, but apparently Dorm leader meetings are incredibly violent. They begin arguing and escalate to a full blown magic battle.”

That didn’t sound too good.

“Then it makes sense that the door is sealed, Headmaster wouldn’t want students witnessing the Dorm leaders in disarray, huh?” Hummed Ace. You had a vague hunch the sealing was there for other reasons besides privacy but Ace suspected it too. It may be exactly as he said...

You could all but calm your jitters now, just what did you get yourself into? Or more like, what did Headmaster Crowley want from you this time? He was the one who asked you to attend mind you.

“Rest easy Prefect, you have your phone so if anything goes wrong, call or text us.” Deuce always knew what to say.

“Thank you Deuce, that’s very reassuring,” you smiled sincerely for you did feel much better. With a temporary silence, where all four of you stood awkwardly until you decided it was inevitable, you said your goodbyes, “Well, I’ll be off now. Wouldn’t want to be late on my first Dorm leader meeting.” You tried to put on a cheery smile but all that came out was one that looked eerily similar to how it would if someone had stitched the corners of your lips to lift them.

You exchanged “Goodbye’s,” some “good luck’s,” before ultimately starting down the hallway. The three magicians stood behind as you, their magicless friend, disappeared into a different corridor.

Ace then after said, “Well, can’t help it, we’ll just have to find a different day”

“You try to sound like you don’t care but you were actually very eager to show Prefect the movie you chose, huh” teased Deuce. And so, another round of bickering ensued as the desolate and ignored Grimm tried to regain their attention.

From the moment you stepped away from the comfort of your circle, the heaviness in the pit of your stomach increased tenfold. You could not imagine the refined and respectable Dorm leaders would really break the rules in front of the Headmaster, this logic gave you some semblance. Alas it could only last so long when you remembered how far Leona had gone just to remove from the Magift tournament your good friend Malleus.

Indeed a worrying amount of bad blood existed amongst the Dorm-heads but you hoped it would be subdued with the authoritative presence of Crowley. You’d hate to be caught up in any more magic spectacles. The sheer negativity from an overblot was enough to overwhelm a magician, so one could only fathom your exhaustion at such an exposure without an ounce of magical blood in your veins.

When you stopped in front of the designated door, your thoughts also stopped. Instead you realized how paranoid you’d become, so much so that you were thinking about a potential overblot during the meeting. It was silly to be this nervous, you had spoken with all of them and had befriended a few. How difficult would it be to sit through a likely mundane talk that would regard upcoming events?

Maybe there’d be bickering of course, but that was expected as not everyone would be in agreement at all times. They each were very unique individuals with equally unique thought processes. However knowing them, they would go onto personal territory and begin insulting one another. Which could lead to pent up frustrations being released and a whole blown out magic battle-

Slapping your checks gently, you deescalated the situation that had felt all too much like a premonition. From the pocket of your uniform, you pulled out your student ID.

Now, you’d dealt with magical tools before but that didn’t mean you were never at a complete loss when introduced to something new. You thought to bring it up like a scanner, but to no avail were you granted access. You fiddled with the door and the ID card for a couple of minutes, spying the time was five minutes before the meeting began.

At the moment your eyes landed on your wrist watch which was elevated to the level of the door’s knob, you noticed a small slit right above it. You slid the card in, first turned up, second time turned down.

Your third try you did face up again, with the end where your picture was located at tucked in first. An electronic beep followed, and as the door opened, you cheered at having bested the admittance tool that was much like a credit card machine.

The room seemed dark at first, or well that was more of your impression of it. Much of Night Raven College followed a dark, gothic type architecture as well as aesthetic. You weren’t surprised that everyone was already here, seated around a circular table with papers, pencils, and other materials laid askew.

You’d never been to one of these, so all you had on you was your backpack. That should work as it carried your writing utensils though. One more thing you noticed that set you apart, was that you were still in your school uniform. It seemed everyone else was wearing their dorm uniforms, even Malleus who never attended a meeting due to poor invitation etiquette(from other dorm leaders) stood out less than you, and he was well over six feet tall.

And it also seemed like Vil had made Captain Obvious his role, “Look at this potato, absolutely inconceivable that you would come to a meeting in those dirty rags.”

“You practically wear the same thing,” you pointed out, but the next attack swooped in so quickly and ridiculously you were left flabbergasted.

Riddle had been the orchestrator of the attack, having stated in his harsh tone, “You’re late.”

After twisting your eyebrows, you argued, “Even the clock says it’s 2 minutes before 4-“ You wanted to say that their little tea party didn’t seem too important but held your tongue. You had a feeling Riddle wouldn’t allow you access to the snacks if you spoke back anymore and frankly, you were starving.

“You should have a seat Prefect, Headmaster is very particular about everyone being in their place when the meeting begins.” Azul was kind enough to inform you.

You found it funny how Crowley demanded order in the meeting room but couldn’t do the same in dire ordeals involving a certain group of Dorm leaders. But enough about that, you needed a seat quickly.

However, there was no empty seats. You looked wayward into the room and found a sad little stool in the corner. It so happened to be made of the heaviest metal. The head splitting noise of the feet of the stool dragging on the floor filled the vicinity. You could feel a number of gazes on your back as you tried not to focus on the other occupants.

Whether it was by mercy or annoyance, definitely the latter, you were suddenly lifted and sat on the stool, you held on for dear life as it floated at a rapid pace to the table and then haphazardly twisted so you were facing everyone. You were squeezed between the floating tablet that had its own chair and Kalim.

Vil huffed as if exasperated and drolly commented as he leaned his chin on his palm, “If you are to continue to attend these meetings, you have to wear appropriate attire that represents your dorm.”

“But Ramshackle dorm doesn’t even have a crest(or clean water), there’s nothing to represent-“

“Up up, you will not argue with me. Make sure to have a uniform next time you come or I’ll personally make it so that you cannot enter this room.” Vil was always very harsh with you. Unlike everyone else who seemed to care less about the garbs you had on, he seemed especially offended. “You think you can look however as a Dorm leader? How can you call yourself an advocate for Ramshackle Dorm when you can’t even put the minimal effort into your appearance.”

You didn’t think you looked as awful as Vil criticized. Maybe your hair was a little frizzy and unkept at the hairline and your shirt wasn’t as tucked in as earlier but it wasn’t like you came in caked in mud either. Vil had impossibly high standards. However now that you noticed, you looked notably more unruly than the rest who had not a wrinkle in place and didn’t look like the standard tired student after a long day of classes. But then, suddenly some help-

“Ah, just knock it off. All your whining is getting on my nerves,” huffed Leona. He was leaned back with his eyelids closed and that angry look on his face. Whether his intention was to help you or not, you had to be thankful for his very honest character. Some disliked his bluntness and called him lazy, but questionable morals aside, you actually thought Leona was quite efficient. As they say, “lazy” people aren’t lazy, they are simply smart enough to come up with a more convenient and trouble free process. You were brought back from your thoughts by the lion himself, “Besides, he’s gonna arrive soon-“

“More like now-“ at Kalim’s excitable tone, the shrill of shattering glass engulfed your ears and you knew immediately, based on that very wasteful entrance, that Crowley had arrived.

As said, he stood before you as a flood of heaven’s light from the sizable hole in the window entered the murky, dank walls of hell. Crowley scanned the room and did a double take on you.

Your stool was much shorter than the high chairs everyone else had been graced with, you were also more or less slumping in an attempt to make yourself smaller. This was unconsciously done of course, try as you might you couldn’t stop acknowledging how little you fit in with the rest of the room’s inhabitants.

Crowley’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, as if he was at a loss for words. If you didn’t know any better, he was probably at a loss for words.

He said while his beady little eyes settled on your face, “Oh, well look who’s here early!”

“It’s ten minutes past the meeting time,” Riddle said rather snarkily.

“Ah yes...” the man in question mumbled, then after shouting, “BUT, we shall get started immediately!” Crowley had declared. “Come then Dorm leaders, let me listen to your complaints”

“I’d hardly call them complaints, they’re more like issues that need to be resolved for the sake of the student’s safety,” said Azul after a clean rearranging of his papers. “Octavinelle can deal with its own problems, however when those problems transcend outside of our plumbing abilities, we will request help from a third party source.” He pushed his glasses up his nose bridge and with finality said, “That third party source is you, Headmaster”

The pressure was on in a matter of seconds. You knew Crowley’s tune too well to understand that he had probably procrastinated on a lot of the topics that would be mentioned today. Half of you couldn’t wait to see his ear chewed off for once and the other half dreaded the length of this meeting for this was a meeting that involved Crowley and responsibility. Two elements like those simply did not mix.

And you were right... His first response?

Evasion.

“A-ah, I see. But Azul, was the flooding not fixable by magic?” The crow man said. You looked between the two, Azul’s eyebrows jutting down almost immediately after that statement.

“Headmaster Crowley, you should know that magic is not the solution to all of our problems. Besides, it’s only a temporary fix that is becoming more, and more frequent to see to. Please contact the plumbing company and have them fix our flooding problem-“

“Stupid.”

Oh dear. Dear, dear lord. You hoped he hadn’t any more insulting elaborating for your premonition would become very true if a certain octopus’s temper wasn’t moderated.

The single word had come from Leona. You had all paused to listen to the lion who chuckled mockingly much to your dismay. “You live underwater and you’re complaining about a flooding problem? To me it sounds like all you need is a custom pot and you’ll feel right at home”

Was Leona still annoyed that his deal had been for naught during the magift tournament? Definitely. Was Azul still brimming with irritation that his contracts had been reduced to dust? Without a doubt.

“Maybe you should concern yourself with that flea infestation from your own stye” Azul replied coolly. Your eyes widened as you looked down, feeling an awkward tension suddenly rise. You weren’t surprised an argument was being instigated between these two. Based on a couple of previous mentioned incidents that is.

You just wished nobody else would warrant any more input. Alas, it seemed these days all you did was hopeful and useless wishing.

“Cease your mindless bickering, you sound like fools. There are actual topics in need of discussion and exchanging insults won’t resolve them,” Riddle was the one who had mentioned.

But then he was in the line of fire, “If we’re bringing up issues that need discussion, then I’d like to put in a formal complaint against Riddle.” Riddle sputtered at Leona’s words. “He overworks his students and forces them into useless tasks like painting roses red. It makes it worse when you find out that he dictates the outfits they wear and makes them do it under the blistering heat.”

“I most certainly do not!” Riddle had shouted and appeared to be gaining a red hue to his face. “The weather in Heartslabyul is regulated”

“So you don’t deny that you exhaust your students regardless of the weather?” Leona added another quip, “ You wouldn’t be so defensive if you weren’t with any faults, your tomato face gives it all away.”

“Now now, do not insult Riddle for wanting to make his Dorm a beautiful place. We should praise him for putting in the effort of making it look so gorgeous unlike that barren wasteland of yours Leona. It’s an absolute eyesore,” drawled Vil.

“What’s an eyesore is that your face looks more like cake than cake itself Vil,” the lion fired back. Vil was readying his rebuttal. You clenched your teeth and looked helpless between both, looking to Crowley who had taken to sipping delicately out of a tea cup. Bastard.

It’s not that you were concerned for their strained relationships, it’s what their strained relationships entailed for you. Crowley wouldn’t herd his students into peaceful territory, instead he’d leave you to it. Once again the responsibility would be dumped onto you at the expense of having Crowley look for a way for you to return to your world. You sighed dejectedly as you watched the unfolding ordeal.

Before you knew it, Azul had jumped back into the mix and was berating Leona for always instigating fights with his “childish” comments.

“If I’m so childish for stating the obvious, what does that make you guys for stringing along?” His rhetorical question seemed only to further fan the flames of rage in the three Dorm leaders. You looked at Kalim besides you who was laughing loudly.

So carefree and free spirited...

He pointed excitedly and said to you, “It always seems to go South, just enjoy the show while it lasts!”

“I don’t remember it always being like this. But I suppose things changed in my absence.” Malleus chimed into yours and Kalim’s discussion.

“They did. A lot of us don’t have very good chemistry with one another. It always ends up in a big fight if Headmaster doesn’t intervene” said Idia on the other side of the floating tablet.

“But is it okay to simply sit back without doing anything to put a stop to them?” Malleus questioned, looking quite troubled. From what you were told(that he wasn’t ever invited to these meetings), you discerned Malleus had been quite looking forward to interacting with his peers.

Ah but there was no way to when more than half of the Dorm leaders were engaging in a verbal battle with one another.

Idia had said what you and Kalim had both been thinking, “If you try to stop them, you’ll just be dragged into their mindless argument like Riddle and Vil”

“It’s so easy to get lost in the rage. Idia and I have both fallen victims to the petty behavior,” Kalim said with a wicked wide grin. You don’t understand why he looks so proud of himself...

“Yes, it’s like this room is cursed or something,” Idia remarked.

You sighed wearily, “I don’t think the room is the problem...”

The lot of you watched on as the insults grew more and more personal. Unbelievable that they were so egotistical and prideful. Vil really felt like he was above all others(which you found ridiculous; beauty was subjective and as far as you knew, he only adhered to a selected society’s beauty standard). Riddle really believed he could exercise control over the rest(it would be better if he would try to coax the others into a compromise like an equal but instead he decided to shout commands like an arrogant, tyrannical brat). Leona was prideful and that bluntness you had praised not even ten minutes ago was becoming the bane of your existence. Speaking of banes, Azul couldn’t be more insufferable with his know it all attitude.

You had not realized that Crowley’s demeanor had shifted to something much darker and sinister as the arguing winded along. Finally he broke. Just like his tea cup.

“SILENCE,” the crow man shouted, effectively silencing the Dorm leaders, “YOU ALL HAVE ME SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR CONSTANT SHOUTING MATCHES!”

“Headmaster, you are shouting yourself,” Kalim said, matter of factory, scratching his temple with a single digit.

“Ah. Ahem, excuse me,” Crowley let the components of the tea cup he shattered crumble to the floor. They landed with a clink in the quiet room. “It’s been consistent arguments from you all and it’s very disappointing to witness this kind of behavior from you, who are considered elites at this already elite institution. I will not tolerate this blatant insubordination. You are Dorm heads and as such, are expected to conduct yourselves like so under all circumstances. You’ve disrespected and defiled your titles with your selfish and childish behavior and have left me no choice but to give a punishment of the worst severity.”

A heavy quietude hung in the air. The threat breathed down all your necks as you all waited with bated breaths. You hoped Crowley wouldn’t dish out the very formidable punishment to you. After all, you’d done nothing wrong. Crowley wouldn’t know what was coming his way if he even considered involving you in any more Dorm leader altercations.

Riddle braved up a few ass kissing words, “We understand Headmaster and will accept any punishment you give us”

“It was completely juvenile of us to act in such a way that defiles the good image of a Dorm leader,” Vil followed up.

“Yes, we profoundly apologize and will not do it again.” Azul bowed his head in shame.

Leona said nothing, for he had been truthful with his feelings and felt no remorse in expressing them. He thought the other three looked quite like boot-lickers offering suck up statements. Whatever Crowley had to offer, he could take it.

Bring it on he mentally challenged the bird man.

“Your punishment is,” Crowley sucked in a long breath, purposely leaving you all with the suspense. “So horrific you’ll spend every single day in complete and utter agony. Every moment will be a torturous reliving of your worst nightmare. You will come out changed men... traumatized changed men.” A few had nervous sweat drops rolling down their temples and others looked comically stone faced. “You all will be subjected to the cruelest, most severe repercussion.” Crowley said, “You will be subjected to...” and you all stood at the edge of your seats. The time came when he revealed the long awaited words, “A sleepover.”

“Huh?”

Leona was wrong...

HE COULD NOT TAKE THAT! Bring it back! Sweet sweet and noble ancestor, reverse this curse-

“WHAT!?” Vil’s shrill scream was enough to make you wince. Azul was stunned to silence much like the rest of you.

In all honesty you didn’t think it was that bad. Until-

“In Ramshackle dorm-“

“WHAT!?” It was your turn to scream as you stood up, knocking your stool over and causing a cry as it made harsh contact with the floor.

“For seven days-“

“WHAT!?” You all shouted in unison, baffled by the unexpected turn of events.

Crowley had nerve.

“To offer my dorm like that,” you sputtered in disbelief, “it’s unacceptable Headmaster!”

“Fufu, it’s the only place big enough to house you eight and isolated enough to keep you from interacting with anyone but each other.” Crowley explained as if you had all accepted it and come to terms yet. You would raise hell before you even considered allowing it. And you did.

“I refuse-“

“I override your refusal. This is for the benefit of the school and my decision is final.” That piece of no good dog shit. Bird brains were small with high capacities however this one seemed to only be small and know how to only be small. “I am very busy so I cannot police the Dorm leaders into acting civilized enough to not embarrass the school. However I will provide Ramshackle with all the necessities to host the additional seven temporary students for I am gracious.” He goaded.

“No Headmaster, you are not being gracious at all,” you fired back, “I don’t understand why you have to lump me in with all of them. Never mind that I am a Dorm leader, you never recognize me as an official one except when you need something from me. On top of that, why is Kalim, Idia, and Malleus being punished as well?”

“Kalim and Idia have previously participated in the discourse. As for Malleus...” Crowley rubbed his chin, “Well, I suppose it would be a learning experience for him. I’m sure Lilia will approve.”

“You still haven’t answered why you’re lumping me in as well- Hey!” You cried as you ran after the bird man who had hopped out of the window and was falling fifty feet. “Headmaster you can’t just leave without an explanation!”

“But I have explained already,” his voice echoed as you leaned out the cavity in the stained glass pane, “You are an impressive beast tamer! I trust all will go well in your hands! And be sure to have Ramshackle dorm ready to receive its new students by 7:00pm tomorrow!”

Ah... he was gone just like that. What do you know, he didn’t even let you chew him out...

The room that had been in chaos suddenly descended into a space void of any sound but breathing.

“Don’t say anything,” you weakly mumbled as you glared at the spires of NRC, the wind blowing through the flags and essentially masking Crowley’s location. You were sure that everyone had heard the crow man’s last few shouts of information, but had probably missed the one that pertained particularly to you. Defeated you turned to the rest and said in an eerily calm voice, “I need to make the preparations, please be on time tomorrow evening and make sure you have everything you will need for a week”

“But wait, aren’t you against this? Why are you suddenly giving in?” Kalim uttered, probably put off by your change in demeanor. In truth, you were still definitely against it but you took Crowley’s words like a threat.

Fingers tapped against your chin, “I think all of our hands are tied. You guys can’t disobey Crowley and I can’t afford to put him in bad graces with me.”

“Still, for him to just declare something like that and disappear without elaborating...” Vil seemed exasperated as the rest of you. You could hear Idia’s nervous breathing through the tablet as Riddle spoke up.

“With or without elaborating, it’s like you said,” he gestured to you, “we cannot disobey. Especially as he is correct in the fact that we have acted out of line.”

“Regardless of how quickly things have happened, I’ll have you guys know that I lock the doors at 10:00pm sharp. Be on time please.” You were already picking up your bag and heading out the door dejectedly. “Also, don’t forget anything!”

•———•••———•••———•••———•••———•

Ahaaa this chapter is super rushed and choppy but I’m looking most forward to writing interactions between the characters as they all settle into their new lifestyles for a whole week.

#twisted wonderland #twst #dire crowley #twst grim #ace trappola #deuce spade #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia #reader insert

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raendown · 4 years

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For the @madatobiweek prompt the was only one bed.

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 5104 Rated: T+ Summary: Hashirama runs in to an old friend unexpectedly and Tobirama - well. Tobirama would like to have a firm chat with life's manager. No way is it fair for any human being to look that delicious.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Woodn’t It Be Nice

‘Just an old friend from middle school’ Hashirama had called him. Tobirama didn’t doubt that part, his brother had a habit of befriending every person that crossed his path by sheer force of will, but he found himself slightly upset that Hashirama hadn’t seen fit to warn him even a little bit before introducing him to the human wet dream known as Uchiha Madara.

Madara had, at one point, big plans to follow along with the dreams his family had for him to become some big business exec. Evidently those dreams had been cast aside at some point when he realized the high stress lifestyle was not how he wanted to spend his years. Tobirama didn’t really see how anyone went from business school to taking up a career in lumberjacking but he was hardly about to complain. Living in the deep woods and hauling trees for a living had clearly done wonders for Madara’s figure.

And Tobirama really wanted a piece of that.

It was truly unfair how good that man made tartan look considering how many times Tobirama had snuck in to his brother’s closet only to despair that such patterns still didn’t suit him. Also high up on his list of unfair things was the sheer mass of all that thick dark hair falling in wavy tangles and how utterly scrumptious he looked without, apparently, having yet discovered the socially accepted function of a hairbrush. Given time and a good keyboard Tobirama was sure he could have produced a thesis length paper on why he should be allowed to bury his hands in all that hair. Two on why he should be allowed to touch that chest.

Because wow the chest. With a rib cage the size and general shape of a barrel and a waist line built for standing his ground against at least a smaller sized tank, it was almost enough to distract Tobirama from the thick muscle outlines clearly visible under the flannel – almost, but not quite. If he looked any harder his eyes might actually fall out of his head but he couldn’t seem to stop or even convince his mouth to close.

Using his mind to juxtapose the image of an ax over those stubby thick fingers, Tobirama swallowed hard and wondered how many people had tried to pick this man up with some sort of bad wood puns. And more importantly whether that would work for him too. He definitely had some wood sprouting up that he wouldn’t mind letting Madara take care of.

“What do you think Tobi?”

“Glorious…”

“Right? I do have good ideas sometimes!”

“Huh?” He turned to find Hashirama beaming at him but his brother was already turning away without giving him a moment to clarify that he hadn’t actually been paying attention to the conversation.

Clapping his old friend on both shoulders, Hashirama smiled so wide he nearly split his own face in half. “You’ll love staying at our house. And you’ll love sharing a room with Tobi!”

“Wait, what!?” Maybe he shouldn’t have taken quite so much time to admire that chest.

Hashirama laughed. “You didn’t think I’d make him sleep on the couch did you? Not when you have a perfectly good spare bed in your room!”

“But that- that’s Itama’s bed. What if Itama comes home?” Growing up with four boys in the same house, each only a few years apart from the others, it still felt wasteful for all of them to sleep in separate rooms even now that they were older and Hashirama’s job at the hospital had paid for a much larger house. It didn’t matter that Tobirama had actually been getting a little lonely while their two younger brothers were off at university in another city. Extra space or not there was no way he would survive sleeping in the same room with Madara unless he was granted an hour or so of alone time first. And knowing his older brother’s enthusiasm for socializing that wasn’t likely to happen.

“Itama called last night,” Hashirama reminded him with an absent smile. “He’s off this weekend with his roommate to some concert happening a city away from them. I would ask Madara to sleep in Kawarama’s room but he’s still not over that cold he’s been fighting all week. We wouldn’t want our guest to get sick!”

“Appreciated,” Madara grunted.

Slightly panicked, Tobirama cast about in his mind for any other excuse he could think of. “What if I’ve caught it too? He'd still get sick.”

“Nonsense, Kawa hasn’t let anyone near him except the dog. Neither of us is sick.”

“I don’t know, Anija, I feel pretty warm.”

“Maybe because it’s like a hundred degrees out,” Hashirama laughed. “Come now, Tobi, if you keep saying stuff like that I’m going to think you don’t want Madara in your room!”

One look at those massive flannel-clad arms and Tobirama quickly swallowed his next words. The man could probably crush his head without thought and as delicious as it was to imagine being caught between those biceps he was also quite fond of living. While his brother threw an arm around broad shoulders Tobirama forced his eyes to look elsewhere, contemplating the restless night ahead.

Thankfully for his sanity he was at least able to sit alone in the backseat on the drive back from the hotel Hashirama just happened to spot his old friend going in to. Madara sat up front and nodded or grunted along to the man’s endless chatter. The backseat was quiet, free of tempting muscles, and gave Tobirama all the room he needed to stretch his legs across the width of the car. He noted Madara stealing glances at him in the rearview mirror several times but it was hard to tell what expression might be hiding under that scruffy beard. The fact that it was apparently due to be shaved off at the first opportunity was probably one of the greatest tragedies this world had ever seen.

As a history buff Tobirama felt particularly qualified to make that call.

When Madara was finally encouraged to speak more than a word or two strung together he told them how he had come to be in town with no plans and nowhere to stay. Apparently his younger brother Izuna still lived in Konoha and he’d planned his vacation to make a surprise visit. Except he was the one surprised to discover the house locked, one of the neighbors calling over to him that the whole family had left on a vacation of their own just a few days before.

“Good thing we caught you then!” Hashirama declared. “No point in spending money on a lonely hotel room for two weeks when you could be catching up with me! I can’t believe how little you’ve changed!”

“Really?” Tobirama muttered under his breath. If Madara had looked like this back in middle school he definitely would have remembered a face like that. Puberty would no doubt have smacked him in the face several years earlier.

After a slow blink Madara grunted, “Beard.” That was, apparently, all he had to say on the matter.

Never before in his life had Tobirama been quite so grateful to arrive home as he was that day, spilling out of the car and heading for the door as if all the devils of hell were chasing him. He made it in to the kitchen with enough time to set the kettle boiling and slip back out towards his bedroom before the other two even made it inside. The planet earth itself would fall out of its heavenly rotation before he let Madara walk in and see the absolute mess he typically lived in, research notes strewn here and there, clothing left on the floor where it was shed after yet another twenty hour binge on the latest project. No one needed to know the shame of his bedroom during the months when Itama was gone.

Just as he kicked out a foot to steady a precarious stack of textbooks the door opened and Hashirama cheerfully invited their guest in to a room that wasn’t even his. Madara blinked around, eyes pausing on the one bed that had clearly not seen any recent use.

“Hope you didn’t clean up or anything,” he said. “It’s just me.”

“Oh don’t worry, Tobi’s always really clean!” Hashirama chirped, oblivious to his brother’s uncomfortable shifting.

“Right. Where can I drop this?”

Madara held up the duffel he’d been carrying when they spotted him on the street. When told he could put it anywhere he liked it was tossed on the floor with little care, a sure sign there wasn’t anything too breakable inside. A moment later he seemed to think the better of his actions and asked where the bathroom was as he stepped across to riffle in one of the duffle’s pockets.

As quickly as he had hurried to his own bedroom Tobirama was gone again just like that. The kettle should be going off any second and he was pretty sure if he stuck around for Madara to come out of the shower all damp and delicious and possibly half naked - well, suffice to say the police probably wouldn’t accept any of the excuses running through his mind just then.

Like it always did, a large hot cup of tea helped to settle him in his skin, leaving him feeling much more in control of his own reactions by the time Hashirama came back downstairs. His brother gave vent to a gusty contented sigh while he poured a cup for himself.

“It’s hard to believe Uchiha Madara of all people is upstairs in my home!” he said. “Honestly I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. But, isn’t it funny, i was just thinking about him the other day!”

“Whatever keeps you going when Mito tells you to bite the pillow,” Tobirama murmured.

“No! Ew! It’s not- hey! She doesn’t make me do anything like that!” Hot tea sloshed all over the counter as Hashirama slammed his cup back down and bent double to gag exaggeratedly. Sometimes it was hard to believe he had failed drama in highschool what with all the dramatics he filled every day with.

Tobirama let the poor idiot catch his breath a little before daring to ask, “He taking a shower before dinner?”

“Um, I guess so. He didn’t say. What would you like to eat?”

Dinner - fish, of course, since the choice was left to him - was about as quiet as meals in their house ever got with Hashirama chattering endlessly. Amazingly Madara actually seemed to be listening to it all, nodding in the right places or humming in tandem with Tobirama whenever it was needed. It was nearly impossible to tell what was actually going on in his mind and Tobirama hated himself just a little for being so desperately intrigued by it. He’d never loved anything more than puzzles, taking things apart to see what made them tick, digging and digging until he ran out of questions to answer. People like Madara were exactly the sort of rare person who were able to hold his attention.

Even more so since their guest came down for the evening meal with a clean shaven face, dark shaggy beard sacrificed to the waste bin upstairs, and Tobirama came to the horrifying conclusion that it needed to be glued back in place as soon as possible. Surely it had to be illegal for any human being to walk around looking as delicious as this. It wasn’t fair.

Under normal circumstances he would have said that going to bed was a relief, being allowed to crawl between familiar sheets and allow the privacy of his own room to unclench the tensions in his body. With Madara stumping in to the room after him he knew that he had nothing to look forward to but a few hours of restlessness until he gave in and snuck off to shame himself in the bathroom down the hall. Itama’s ancient bedframe gave a mighty creak the first time its new resident sat down. Normally it bore a much lighter load than all the rippling muscles clinging to Madara’s frame but it held up alright and the two of them were able to lay their heads down with goodnights murmured in to the darkness.

Tobirama lasted only an hour and a half. He really hoped the other man only thought he was getting up to pee.

During the day things weren’t so bad. For the most part Madara spent his time with Hashirama getting dragged from one end of the city to the other to re-experience all the things they had done in their childhood together. It was actually somewhat of a relief not to be the center of his brother’s attention for a while, left blissfully alone to work on his research and occasionally greet the ghost of Kawarama whenever he ambled past for food or water before holing up again. With one sibling down for the count and the other away for university the task of indulging Hashirama’s ceaseless energy had fallen entirely to him and it wasn’t until he was finally able to be productive again that he realized just how little he’d been getting done lately.

Even meal times weren’t too terrible if he kept his eyes on his food instead of the tasty meal he would rather be having across the table. It was the evenings when he truly suffered. Getting Madara to come out of his shell and actually engage in conversation had taken a couple days, out of practice as he was from spending most of the few years quietly knocking and hauling lumber, but once he finally opened his mouth long enough to say more than two words together Tobirama was exasperated to discover a mind as beautiful as his face. Was there any way this man wasn’t perfect for him? The universe must be having a grand laugh at him, that was the only explanation he could think of.

Still, as much havoc as it wreaked on his libido it was wonderful to have someone else to converse with who could actually keep up with him. Madara understood the basic concepts of his research, asked intelligent questions, even offered a few philosophical insights that Tobirama himself hadn’t thought of. If he didn’t want the man in his bed so badly it hurt he might have been tempted to offer him a job as a research assistant.

He saw the signs coming from a mile away of course. Stopping it was impossible, though he still gave it the old college try. Catching feelings for his brother’s friend, a man who was only in town for a few weeks and then would likely never be back again, was probably one of the stupider things he had ever done. Tobirama wanted to be mad at the idiot for not just being a pretty face he could seduce and then let go of but it wasn’t like it was Madara’s fault that he checked every box on a lonely albino’s list. He probably wasn’t even aware of how tempting he was. Tobirama really hoped the poor man hadn’t noticed all the drooling and staring and whatnot.

For a little over two weeks things went on like that, so close and yet so far, sleeping in the same room and slipping away to the bathroom for a while just to get himself to sleep. Even as a teenager his body hadn’t ruled him this much. If their family hadn’t been raised to be so frugal it was entirely possible that nothing would have changed, that they would have parted ways as nothing more than a what-if. But Itama loved that old bed no matter how it creaked and groaned and so none of them had ever thought of replacing the ancient thing until one night Madara flopped down on to the mattress and with a loud protest the entire frame shattered underneath him. Almost more shocking that that was the indignant squawk that gurgled up his throat, so unlike the smooth deep baritone he usually spoke in. Tobirama could do nothing but stare from where he stood halfway through the motion of getting up, one arm outstretched, and try to process what had just happened. Apparently all that muscle was too much for the bed to handle.

He could relate.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Madara blinked up from the center of the now very lumpy looking mattress.

“I’ve been better.”

“You didn’t hurt anything did you?”

“No. Well, I think I hurt the bed.” With a groan he rolled off the mess and stumbled to his feet where he stood looking down with a wry expression. “I’ll pay for that.”

Money was not exactly the most pressing concern on Tobirama’s mind at the moment. “That, ah, is that just some of the frame pressing up from underneath?”

Praying to all of his ancestors that the mattress was still usable even if it had to rest on the floor, he watched the other man haul the entire thing up with one hand like it weighed no more than a feather and tried not to whimper. With no light but the moonbeams twisting around the curtains it was easy to see there was nothing directly under the mattress that would make such shapes.

“Bunch’a springs broke under the pressure, I think,” Madara concluded. When he let the whole thing drop back down it did so with a muffled thud much like Tobirama’s heart inside his chest. “Guess I won’t be sleeping there anymore.”

“Not unless you want metal springs digging in to your spine all night long.”

Madara nodded slowly. “Couch it is, then.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be an option,” Tobirama reluctantly called the man back before he could get halfway to the door. He tried not to be obvious about cringing when Madara turned to pin him in place with dark eyes turned obsidian by the shadows around them.

“Why not?”

“You’ve been here an entire week and I’ve never once seen you sit comfortably on the sofa. It’s just not built to hold someone of your...stature.”

For the space of three heartbeats Madara did nothing but stare and blink. Then he sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose with one hand because it was true. Hashirama had bought most of their living room furniture for his tiny wife and his three whipcord thin brothers; he himself preferred to disappear in to the single cushy armchair that could actually hold his tall frame. If Madara went to go sleep on either of the two couches he would probably roll off the first time he tried to take a full breath in.

Genius that he was, Tobirama had already done the calculations. He already knew what doom was about to fall upon him. In their house there were four beds for four people and two couches. One of those beds already had two people in it, Mito quietly arriving home from her work trip earlier that evening. Another contained one highly contagious whiny Kawarama and stank of dog after several days of the two curled up together in it. Now the third bed had collapsed, frame and mattress and all, leaving only one other place left as an option for sleeping.

Tobirama squirmed. Why had he ever thought it was necessary to buy such a roomy bed? He was only one person, surely a twin mattress would have held him and saved him from eyeing the several feet of unused space at his side with defeat in his bones. It was this or ask Madara to sleep on the floor.

“So if I can’t sleep on the couches then where the hell am I supposed to sleep?” He even eyed the carpet as though wondering whether it was plush enough to let him get some rest but one night wasn’t the problem. Laying flat out on the ground for several days in a row would do murder on anyone’s back and just because his job left him in the wilds for months at a time didn’t mean he had to play at camping even in his off time.

“I’ve got room here,” Tobirama forced himself to say.

“You don’t have any sort of air mattress or anything?”

“Not anymore, no. Our dog got in to the closet and chewed them all last summer.”

He watched the other man nodding slowly, a small frown drawing his brows together, and wondered if the option was really so detestable to consider. The offer was on the tip of his tongue to ask if Mito would share a bed with him instead for a few days so Madara could rest beside the friend he had much better reason to trust but the words never had a chance to be spoken.

“You don’t kick or anything, do you?”

“No,” he murmured, hardly daring to breathe.

“Right.”

Then Madara snatched up the same pillow he’d been using for the last couple weeks since Tobirama only had the one on his own bed and stumped across the room with all the grace of a bear. As unsexy as that image was Tobirama still managed to find his thoughts in the gutter, privately thinking that he wouldn’t mind taking up bear wrestling if this was his opponent.

Somehow he managed to keep such thoughts to himself as the mattress dipped to accommodate more than double the weight it was used to. Convincing the anatomy inside his trousers that it was not Go Time was a little more difficult to do. Tobirama carefully rolled on to the side facing away from his new bed partner; at least in this position he was only tenting his own clothing rather than the bedding as well. Nothing could possibly make his desires more obvious. After a moment’s pause he felt Madara shifting around and finding a position to settle in to as well, hopefully facing away from him though he couldn’t exactly see what was going on. When the movement finally stopped he cleared his throat.

“Night,” he mumbled awkwardly. Madara grunted, which he had learned was about the equivalent of him saying it back.

In the silence that followed Tobirama dearly regretted leaving the curtains cracked. Just that small amount of light made shadows on the wall for him to trace with his eyes and glare at as though they were the source of all his problems. If there were shadows on the wall that meant there was enough light for Madara to see if he threw back the covers and tried to escape to the bathroom. Not to mention that it would be much harder to sneak off even after the man had fallen asleep when there was a chance any shifting of the mattress could wake him again and alert him to Tobirama’s nightly embarrassment.

He smothered a groan and curled a little tighter in to himself. Sleep was an impossibility when all he wanted was relief and there didn’t seem like a safe way to achieve that with the source of all his delicious miseries lying so close. It seemed he was doomed to simply lie here while his balls turned bluer and bluer.

“Alright?” The word rumbled low in the space between them and Tobirama nearly leapt out of his skin.

“What?”

“If you’re not feeling good I don’t want to catch anything.”

Clenching his fists he grumbled, “I’m not sick.”

“Seems like you’re not alright though,” his companion mused.

“Oh and how would you know?”

A beat passed before Madara answered. When he did his tone sounded almost hesitant in a strange way. “You don’t usually sleep all curled up in a ball. Is it your stomach? Maybe dinner doesn’t agree with you.”

Pausing in his prayers for death to take him in a localized strike of lightning, Tobirama frowned in to the darkness. It wasn’t such an unusual question - or it wouldn’t have been if they had known each other for any appropriate length of time. He struggled over whether or not to say something until finally his curiosity couldn’t take it anymore.

“Do you...watch me sleep?”

Choking sounds accompanied the sudden brush of air against the back of his neck, startling enough that he instinctively shot up on to one elbow so he could twist around. There he was greeted with the sight of Madara spluttering and cutting his way through several disconnected syllables. It was hard to parse which part of the scene before him was the most shocking, the fact that Madara was quite obviously embarrassed or the fact that he had apparently settled down to sleep facing the center of the bed rather than away towards the wall.

“I’m just...observant!” He finally managed to choke out.

“While we’re both lying down on opposite sides of the room you somehow manage to observe my position every night when your eyes are supposed to be closed?”

Madara flushed visibly. “I have trouble sleeping a lot. Sometimes I sit up for a while!”

Fascinating as it was to see a new flustered side to such a composed man of so few words, Tobirama couldn’t truly enjoy this rare opportunity when he was distracted with yet another devastating revelation.

“How long does it usually take you to get to sleep?” he whispered.

“A couple hours.” The words had already passed the man’s lips before Madara seemed to realize what he had just given away.

“Oh.”

The two of them stared at each other, wide eyed and silent, as they both processed what the other now knew. If Madara was awake each night long enough to observe what position Tobirama fell asleep in then he was awake each night to observe him slipping out of bed and down the hall for much longer than one would need for a simple nightly piddle. He knew. And he hadn’t said anything.

“It’s not every day,” Tobirama blurted without thinking. “I’m not some kind of obsessed nymphomaniac or anything.”

“Right.”

“I’m not!”

“Okay. So. Is it just...me then?”

The twitch in his pants said yes but the flaming heat in his face, well, that probably also said yes despite what he would have preferred. All the genius in the world couldn’t help him think his way out of this particular spot, lying in the same bed with a man he could already feel himself developing very ill advised feelings for while that very man stared back at him processing the knowledge that he was very interested in taking up certain physical activities together. What would Hashirama do, he wondered, if he woke up tomorrow morning to discover that his little brother had been smothered to death by those glorious and very strong biceps?

“Didn’t mention it to your brother yet,” Madara finally spoke again. “Wanted Izuna’s opinion on the idea first. But I’ve been thinking about moving back in to town lately. I got a job offer at one of the factories.”

“O-oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Think maybe you’d want to grab a coffee or something sometime?” Somehow the man was able to project both flawless confidence and an adorably unexpected shyness at the same time.

Tobirama nearly swallowed his own tongue trying to rein in his own frantic nodding. “I’d like that.”

“Good, good.”

All plans for throwing himself off the edge of the earth were put on hold. How the hell he had missed his dream hunk returning any sort of interest was beyond him but the last thing he would be doing was complain about it. Who was he to say no when being handed everything he thought he couldn’t have? All wrapped up in a pretty package with gorgeous unruly hair, naturally pouty lips, and thighs he would be happy to have his head crushed between. Whatever small fragment of the universe had taken pity on him deserved a massive ethereal fruit basket in thanks for giving him this.

“You wanna make out?” Madara cut in to his thoughts. “Or do we need to wait for that first date?”

“Now is good,” Tobirama breathed, already twisting the lower half of his body to face inwards as well. Maybe later he could take the time to be ashamed of his own enthusiasm but right now he had an entire beefcake to throw himself on and judging by the appreciative moan that greeted him it didn’t seem like Madara had any problems with that.

He had already managed to roll himself on top of this woodsman adonis and gasp at the stretch in his thighs for how wide they had to open just to sit astride those hips when he paused, pulling away from quite possibly the most mind-bending kiss he’d ever experienced in his life.

“What’s your opinion on wood puns?” he mumbled.

“I will kill you,” Madara replied with absolutely no inflection.

“Noted. Can I wear your shirt tomorrow?”

“You would look absolutely terrible in tartan.” One dark eyebrow lifted slowly, something like hunger gathering in the man’s eyes. “Sure.”

Tobirama shivered and decided if he said anything else he would probably spill every dirty possessive thought his brain had ever come up with. It was much safer to dive in again and tremble under the feeling of large hands curling around his bottom.

Maybe - maybe - he was glad that Hashirama had decided to take a different route home that day and happened to spot his old friend. A reward this good was definitely worth the torture of thinking it was all beyond his reach, that he would suffer through the stages of falling in love and then be forced to ssay goodbye when Madara left, to never see the man again. Whatever it took to convince him that moving back in to town was a good plan he would do it. Even if he had to track down this Izuna fellow himself and beg on his knees for a little support.

For now the only thing he planned to do on his knees was moan, however. Possibly beg. That depended entirely on how far Madara was willing to go before they even made it out for a simple coffee or discussed anything between them with any sort of depth.

Whatever the case, he just really hoped his brother was well and truly asleep down the hall because he had zero plans for staying quiet after finally getting his hands on such a perfect dream.

#rae writes #madatobiweek2020 #madatobi #madara #tobirama #hashirama #fanfiction #modern au

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wastelandcrown · 4 years

Text

one indescribable instant

Summary: Roman's companionship forces Logan to think about the idea of romance. He starts to enjoy the idea of romance more and more, but he can't stop thinking about whether or not love at first sight is real. Warnings: None (If you need me to add a warning, please tell me!) Notes: The fluffiest thing I've probably ever written. Title is referencing a song from the show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Also not beta-d, we die like Roman Pairings: Platonic Logince, Intrulogical, Background Royality Word Count: 1620

Roman often describes fairy tale romances to Logan in ways that don’t make sense. These types of love-at-first-sight romances seem entirely improbable to Logan, but he imagines it would feel fairly nice the way Roman describes it.

‘It’s as if beautiful music soars behind you, filling you with such intense joy and passion that you can barely describe feelings soaring through your heart! And, of course, you have the person! You look upon them once and realize you’ll never need another person for the rest of your days!’

Logically, this makes no sense. Love at first sight, the way Roman describes it, doesn’t exist. You also need many people in your life. Is this partner a doctor of all medical sciences? A grocer? An accountant you may hire? It is impossible to fulfill everything one person may need. However, that doesn’t mean it sounds entirely terrible.

He’s never been a hopeless romantic, never even much of a romantic. The only thing that changed that was meeting Roman. Despite their fighting and differences, they became closer than anything within a matter of months. They were introduced through Patton, Logan’s childhood friend and Roman’s boyfriend, and Patton often joked about how Logan would end up replacing him some day. They both hated this joke, mostly because it was wildly inaccurate. Roman was so head over heels in love with Patton that he was scandalized at the idea of loving anyone else, and Logan is not romantically attracted to Roman at all. Sure, they spend a lot of time together, but Logan has never even been to his apartment! The effect Roman has on Logan is purely platonic, and highly emotional. He has made Logan rethink and reanalyze his feelings on most things, and he doesn’t often change his opinion, but he was swayed so heavily on one subject. Just one.

Love. Many a night, Roman has spent time curled up with him on his couch. Nothing playing on the TV, just sitting and pining. Fanciful ideas of romance and true love, wild journeys, ideas for romantic dates. A favourite of theirs is the prince and the gardener. Roman pictures himself as a prince, longing for Patton, the gardener for his palace. Logan imagines he works alongside Patton, befriending the prince, and eventually falling for one of his royal allies. He likes to add to the fantasies with little facts about their chosen era or scenario, which Roman always gasps at with the fervour that comes along with a new idea. Somehow they always make their way back to a royal ball.

‘And I’m there, everyone wants to dance with me, but I’m looking for my two special guests, and when I find you, Logan, I’ll introduce you to some royals because you want to talk about nerd things.’

‘I think I’d have my eye on one already, maybe a Count, or a Duke,’

‘Oh my god no, not a duke! My brother always pictures himself as a duke when we do this!’

This is the first time Logan has heard of him having a brother, but it’s not much of a surprise.

He doesn’t ask, but Roman tells anyway. His name is Remus, and because of their wildly different personalities, they made a mutual agreement not to talk about each other as brothers. Logan has heard some of his stories, however, because he’s been calling Remus his “roommate” and telling some quite wild stories about their adventures. He doesn’t really believe most of them, except for the time Remus filled their apartment with street cats. Patton, who has been over at his apartment and is allergic to cats, regaled the terrible story about wanting to pet the cats but being unable due to aforementioned allergies. Despite the cats, Patton seems to like Remus well enough.

‘So Roman told you! That’s great! What do I think about him? Well, he’s certainly different! But-I mean-It’s not bad different! Well...He’s-I think you have to meet him to really understand what I mean!’

Logan spends a week confused, and not wanting to push Roman’s buttons. Then he decides he has to push the buttons because he can’t bear not knowing.

Luckily, Roman calls him.

“Logan! You won’t believe my day today!” Roman starts with a comfortingly familiar dramatism.

He chuckles softly, smiling to himself, “I’m sure I will believe it, however perhaps you would prefer to tell me in person.”

“You read my mind! I’ll be right over!” He can nearly see the bouncy and excited look Roman has on, he knows him too well.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could come to your apartment?”

Roman pauses for a moment, “Sure, I’ll have to force Remus to get presentable though.”

Logan hears a loud “Hey!” then Roman signs off. He can be at Roman’s in twenty minutes on an average day. Today he stops at the bakery they like to get some pastries, just in case Roman needs a little longer to get everything presentable.

When Roman swings open the door he immediately takes Logan in for a big hug.

“We’re making milestones today! You’re coming to my house and meeting my brother, what a huge achievement!” He seems genuinely excited, so Logan only lovingly rolls his eyes.

With one large swoop of his arms, Roman has taken the box of pastries and put his other arm around his friend’s shoulders. He gives him a squeeze and pulls him into the house. It’s a little messy, but it has its charms. The living room has a lot of strange, and occasionally graphic, decor. The couches are brown and worn in, they look soft. Their kitchen and dining room are fairly bare, kept clean for cooking and eating. Roman shows him his room, which is as wildly colourful and eccentric as he imagined it would be. They’re in the hallway when the second bedroom door opens and Remus steps out.

“Presentable enough for you, your highness? Remus snarks at his brother.

Logan feels something in his chest move and then swing violently in a direction he never expected. Remus’ skin is pale, near white, stark and clean against the eggshell walls. His hair is messy and wet, evident that he just showered. His eyes are sharp and a little wild, a dark brown colour that Logan near instantly commits to memory. There are natural bags and discolouration all the way around his eyes, his teeth are strangely sharp when he grins at Roman, he’s got a quite terrible mustache that makes him look a little like a cartoonish villain. He’s in a tank top with the sides near cut out, black jeans, and socks with phallic objects. Just like Roman, he’s nearly a foot taller than him. Logan forgets how to breathe.

“Could do without the penis socks, but yes! This is who I needed you presentable for!”

Remus looks at him then, curiously. His gaze moves up and down slowly, a shiver runs down Logan’s spine.

“This is Logan?” Remus slyly smirks, “RoRo you didn’t tell me he was hot!”

The music Roman told him about swells in his mind. His entire body feels light and airy. It’s not exactly joy and passion but Logan is suddenly overcome with the urge to devote his life to this beautiful near-stranger. He can feel his cheeks go pink when Remus says he’s hot, and in all honesty he does not care. Embarrassment is the least of what he’s thinking about.

“Remus! He is my best friend and our guest! You cannot say that!” Roman looks over at Logan, opens his lips to apologize, then notices his nervous posture and blush.

Logan decides to speak, but makes the mistake of looking at Remus first, his words come out as mush, “I-No-No it’s-uh-It's quite alright. I didn’t mind.”

Roman blinks at Logan wildly. He’d never seen Logan be such a mess when speaking. He’s usually measured and clean! It dawns on him in an instant what’s going through Logan’s mind.

“Well! Nice to see you Remus!” Roman starts pushing Logan harshly towards his room, “Logan brought pastries! Eat up! Bye!”

When Roman slams the door he hears Remus call out, “I’m gonna order pizza for us in like thirty fucking minutes so you better be done girls talk by then or I’m getting anchovies and olives!”

Logan is being stared at like his head has cracked wide open, but his mind is in the figurative clouds.

“I know what you mean now.” Logan mutters, putting a hand over his cheek gently and pressing his back against the door to sigh gently.

“Logan what are you talking about!?” Roman whisper-shouts, but part of him already knows.

“The music. The feelings.” Logan continues, not even speaking to Roman, “Not needing another person for as long as you live.”

The joy floods him in an instant, “I felt it.”

Roman pulls him over to sit on his bed. Logan flops backwards into the red sheets and throws his arms over his face. He tries to conceal the smile on his lips, but he can’t. He can’t believe he ever doubted Roman on this. This. This magnificent feeling. Love at first sight hit him like a truck in one indescribable instant.

“You look happy,” Roman says softly, Logan nods slowly.

He mutters against his sleeve, “I apologize for doubting you.”

“I mean realistically, it’s not exactly love. More like a huge crush.” Roman flops down next to him.

And while yes, he knows that it’s probably just infatuation, he loves how he’s feeling. He doesn’t typically feel things this abrupt, the strong. He finds the whole situation a bit funny, but if the night goes well he might end up with a date.

#intrulogical #sanders sides #sanders side fic #ts logan #ts roman #ts remus #ts patton #background royality #this is silly fluff for no reason #please enjoy #im open for for criticism

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inkdheart17 · 3 years

Text

One thing I hate most is being judged, accused, and/or scolded without being confronted. I know the things I've done weren't always great, but i also know that I've never done anything so bad I would later regret it.

Yet, it seems that more and more people seem to think that my silence means I'm guilty. It definitely doesn't. If I decide not to speak of an event, then it's probably because I was the victim, and I'm still hurting.

The most recent big event that's causing a lot of issues for me is a falling out with a person I used to think of as a best friend. I had trusted this person with... Well, everything. I always went out of my way to help them feel comfortable about who they were and tried my best to boost their confidence. I felt that it was necessary, as a friend. I thought all friends did that to each other. Little did I know that very few did that to me.

I didn't need it as much, thankfully. I have my sister, who's my own personal hype man. My mom also supports me. We may be closer than most families i know, but my mom and I aren't close enough for me to come out to her. About anything, actually. Still, i trust her with most things. So, I never needed my friends to truly be there for me. Except once.

I had just broken up with my first and to this day only boyfriend. I had been extremely cautious on who I accepted to date because I was acutely aware of how toxic people could be. My own father and his family being a prime example of that. I had already given up on trying to date someone when I noticed my feelings for my ex. We went out and after the honeymoon phase, I began to notice how similar he was to my father. I became anxious. I tried to reach out and instead was cut off.

Many of the people around me don't know the details. Not sure if I want to share them anymore either. But I'm writing this to vent and hopefully help someone else that went through a similar experience.

You see, the break up didn't hurt so much because he left. It hurt because I lost so much because of him. I lost his family. Whom I had gotten very close with as he refused to ever visit my family. So, we only ever went to his place. I lost my friends, because some of them refused to interact with me after he left. And I lost my peace. My anxiety was once again in control and I was fighting hard to keep everything together once again.

This was the one time I begged for support from those around me, and I quickly found out who to cut off from my life.

At the time, I had moved in with friend A and coworker B, who was dating another guys friend of mine at the time, C. They all faked being supportive at first. Telling me I should just ignore my ex and forget everything. He was never worth my time. Things like that. I had actually called C the night my ex broke up with me. I thought of C as my brother and all I wanted was for my bro to come over and comfort me. He didn't. He had things to do early the next morning and was in bed with B. So, neither of them were going to be there for me. It was only A who kinda distracted me with a drive, but she was so quick to add venom into me. Almost as if she wanted me to hate my ex. Which I did for a while. But it wasn't until I spoke with my still best friend, J, that I found the support I needed.

While all this was happening, i was struggling to finish my final semester before graduated with two bachelor's degrees. You can imagine the kind of stress I was going through as I was also fighting with the University to keep my scholarships for one last semester so that I could graduate. The funny part is that J knew exactly how I behaved. He knew the difference between the times I kept our talks short because I was busy, and when I kept our talks short because I was in distress. He asked me to hang out with him for a day. A day he could've easily filled up with catching up on school work, or being with family, or even spending time with his girlfriend. I still feel very touched remembering how he decided to try and help me instead. All because I didn't react like usual.

He didn't push me to say anything, but my ex came up in conversation and I had to tell J that we weren't dating anymore. That then spiraled into how pressured I felt with school and how unsupportive my roommates and C were being. I told him how A would react aggressively when were alone. Straight up calling me a bitch for ignoring her when I had homework to finish, but would then cry and say I was the abuser as I had blocked her on everything whenever B and C were around.

I told him how I had turned to B in hopes of getting advice, as she shared a room with A and would probably know what was going on with A. Instead, B had told A about all the negative things I said in a fit of rage and never once mentioned how I did want to fix our relation, but A had really destroyed my trust in her and had (has) yet to apologize. I told him how my ex would ignore me on dates and would only pay attention when we were physical with each other. Which made me want more physical interactions despite my general apprehension due to past trauma. And how my ex unceremoniously texted me that he was done because I got mad he wouldn't pause his game for like 5 minutes just to hear me out during an anxiety attack.

J calmly took all this in and advised that I move out. Not back in with my parents, but that it may be inevitable for me at the time. Then he warned me not to bottle up my hatred for my ex cause it would make me hate men in general. And I tried not to, but that hatred started with my dad. So, when C blocked me out of the blue, with no confrontation what so ever, I lost all the trust I had left. I mean, if the guy I thought of as a brother would rather listen to two women who know nothing about me just cause he's dating one of them, then how low were my standards? Why was it so easy for me to get betrayed? It happened with A, it happened with B, it happened with C.... And now he's happening with another friend, D. Who has yet to respond to any of the text messages I've sent her and has now started to hang out with A.

I once again turned to J. Asking if it was normal to feel hurt when a friend was still friends with someone who hurt you. J agreed it was painful but that ultimately I had to remember that they were their own person and that they were going to make their own decisions on what relationships to keep.

I felt discouraged but knew he was right.

As I type this up, I've had to pause a few times to wipe away tears. I think they sting when you feel a bit if anger when crying. Not sure.

Anyways, all this is to say that you'll never be free of selfish assholes. You'll live with them, you'll work with them, you'll move in with them, you'll befriend them, and nothing I say will help prepare you for the pain you'll feel when they reveal their true colors and destroy some part of you. Still, you should never change because of them.

I've given up on dating and friends because of these new experiences topping old traumas. I've been groomed, molested, raped probably, psychologically and emotionally manipulated and abused, all before entering seventh grade. I can't remember my childhood thanks to dissociative amnesia. So, instinctively, I no longer trust humans. It's a lovely existence and despite having won this battle before, I'm looking at suicide once again and am having to remind myself that I've already been through hardships. That all will be fine again. It's just a matter of time now.

But, fighting suicide is almost impossible without help. Without support. So, if you find yourself stuck with toxic people, with selfish assholes, with treacherous friends, cut them out.

We don't need them. They're a cancer that feeds off your good intentions and then blame you when they've dried your soul. It'll hurt a lot at first, but eventually, all will feel better. You'll find peace again. Maybe you'll connect with an old friend who'll always be there for you, like I did with J. Perhaps your siblings will be your own hype man like mine is. Maybe your relationship with your parents will get better like mine is with my mom. You'll finally start feeling better about yourself and try things that cancer wanted to steal from you. I've just gotten through a job interview and hopefully I'll be working at the office I've been trying hard to get into some time next week. Perhaps you'll also take the next step in your career?

So, to by fellow disappointed-in-humanity victims, sometimes it takes swimming in shit before being able to relax in a healthy mind. Take off those rose tinted glasses. Harden your heart and cut out people you know are hurting you. Don't listen to them, and if they take others with them, know that they also aren't worth your effort.

I would much rather be alone than be with a friend who believes I abused another person without ever talking to be about it. That's a person who'd rather believe your abuser than try and figure out why you would ever dare hurt someone. You don't need them.

I probably should like a bitch. Trust me, I get it. I often feel like I'm too harsh and that I should just unblock people to settle things down again. But you know what? I was very complacent and unmotivated when I had the people I blocked on my life. And now that I cut them out? I'm taking my first steps to establishing a career here in my town. Which is arguably a very hard town to settle in as a non-retiree.

Free yourself. Cut them off before they bleed you out

#sad but true #you need to know #toxic people #victims #toxicity #personal crap #advice

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jungkookiebus · 6 years

Text

Steamy.

Genre: college au, smut Word count: 2k Pairing: college!Jungkook x reader Warnings: cunnilingus

Summary: You’re roommates with your older brother, Jimin, who is having some of his friends over and he’s strictly forbade you from hanging out with them; he has a feeling you like one of his friends and he’s avoiding having your presence in the home. Unfortunately for him and good for you, that person in question accidentally walks in on you in your bath.

“NO! Absolutely not!” Jimin fumed for about the fifth time today. He was seriously regretting allowing you to move in with him when you had started college. He was in his sophomore year and still trying to “establish” himself, or so he had been telling you. He was having some friends over and there was one you had your eyes on; Jeon Jungkook. He had been in your communications class and you had been dying to get to know him and when you found out Jimin befriended him your luck had soared; or so you thought. Your older brother loved you very much, but when it came to you liking any of his friends, he wanted to punch you in the face. When you were a sophomore in high school you had been obsessed with one of his older junior friends and made his life a living nightmare that year. When you found out that guy had slept with your best friend you had sworn off men. Until now. Jimin was now having flashbacks to how annoying you were in high school.

“I know what you’re trying to do, ______,” he said while pointing a pair of tongs at you.

“You have no idea what I’m trying to do,” you said indignantly.

“You like one of my friends, I feel it.” His eyes reduced to slits as he stared at you. “Which one is it? Taehyung? Namjoon? Jungkook? Yoongi? Who, ______?”

You made sure to keep a straight face as he listed off the names even though your heart skipped a beat as he said Jungkook.

“Fine, if you won’t tell me so be it, but you’re staying on your side of the house. Plus, these guys are all older than you.”

“By a year or two,” you said rolling your eyes, “and I don’t have anything to do tonight please let me hang out with you.”

“No. I’m cooking for you so you’ll have something to eat, but other than that stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine.”

“Bathroom’s on my end,” you muttered.

“If you have to shit you don’t need to come in here then.”

“Fine. Asshole,” you said while grabbing the freshly made hamburger he had set in front of you. You couldn’t be too terribly mad when he had at least cooked a homemade meal for you. “Have fun.”

You trudged off to your room and decided that you might as well catch up on some shows you had been meaning to watch.

You could hear about an hour later as all the boys started to show up as a cacophony of laughter started in the kitchen. You pressed your ear against the door to catch the sound of Jungkook’s voice.

“Ya!” you finally heard him. “Jimin you have such a nice place! Never knew you could decorate so nicely.”

“Ha,” you said to yourself, “jokes on him it was me who picked out the furniture.” This place looked like a pig pen when you moved in. The next words you heard had you fuming.

“Yea, well, I felt like it needed an update, so I went down to the Container Store and bought a bunch of stuff with my tax return.”

You didn’t mean for your hand to hit your door, but it was a good substitute for Jimin’s face in that moment. The laughter in the kitchen died down.

“You guys heard that?” you heard an unfamiliar voice ask.

Great, Jimin was probably going to go to “check it out” in a second and come hand your ass to you, but he never did. The breath you were holding came out slowly as you heard conversation pick back up again. Jimin was an ass. He could at least acknowledge that he had a sister.

About thirty minutes later when the surround sound was blasting rapid gunfire of some video game you thought it safe to sneak out to the bathroom to bathe. You had just turned the bathroom into a steamy sauna and settled into the bathtub when the knob on the door turned. Before you could react, a very stunned Jungkook was peering through the steam at you. You, in turn, were also very stunned and staring at his white shirt that was now growing damp due to the insane amount of hot water you filled the tub with that filled the room with condensation.

“______?” he whispered.

“Oh, shit!” you said getting your wits about you. You grabbed the towel you had thrown on the floor to hold it across your chest as best as you could. “Wait, did you just say my name?”

“We had communications together.” He said it so matter-of-factly that you almost didn’t know what to say.

“That’s absolutely correct,” you said. You wanted to punch yourself in the face. That’s absolutely correct? What an asshole.

“Do you know Jimin?”

Why wasn’t he leaving the bathroom by now? Not only was your skin flushed red from the hot water, but also due to the fact that he was letting more of the steam out and you were becoming more exposed.

“He’s my brother.”

“Fuck you.”

“Excuse me, what?”

Jungkook was flustered now. “I’m so sorry! That was a knee jerk reaction I have no idea why I said that! I was surprised! I didn’t even know Jimin had a sister!”

“Figures,” you said shifting in the tub a little more.

“Why aren’t you out there with us?”

“I’m not allowed.”

He looked at you quizzically.

“I was expressly told to stay out of the way.”

“Why?”

“Who wants their annoying little sister around their friends?”

“You’re not annoying.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I had class with you.”

“That’s hardly a ‘I know you’ friendship, Jungkook.”

He beamed at you then. “So you know me.”

“As you said, we had communications together.”

“With about fifty other people. That was a big class.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“I also saw you at Hobi’s party a few months ago.”

You pulled the towel towards you more as you stood, letting the end dip in the water as you wrapped it around yourself. “You know what? I’m gonna let you use the bathroom. I’ll finish getting ready for bed later.” You stepped out of the tub and attempted to push past Jungkook when he grabbed your arm.

Blood rushed in your ears and you tried to even your breathing. The sounds of gunfire and shouting from the living room grew louder. No one seemed none the wiser to what was happening down the hallway and you suddenly felt trapped. “Where are you going?”

“You have to use the bathroom.”

He leant over and a chill ran through your body as his lips brushed against the shell of your ear.

“You know, I remember the exact outfit you wore that night. You had on that tight mini skirt with those black heels. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you all night.”

You swallowed thickly and gripped the towel tighter to your body. You had to be dreaming this was happening. Maybe you had turned on the water just a little too hot and you had started to hallucinate because there was no way this could be happening.

“I-I didn’t know you noticed me,” you said softly looking up at him. His face held all the innocence it always did, but his eyes were telling a different story. You saw his pupils dilate as soon as you made eye contact and before you could react, he was closing the door behind him and pushing you up against the wall, his lips meeting yours.

“I noticed you every time I saw you,” he said as he kissed along your jaw and down your neck. “You think I sat outside of the building before class because I liked getting there early?”

You gripped the towel tighter, not knowing what to do. He bit down on the skin at the base of your neck causing you gasp and moan. He ran his tongue along your collarbone before he was placing a tentative touch to your hand that was grasping the towel.

“I wanted to see you, but I was always too fucking scared to talk to you.”

His gentle touch caused your hand to relax and you allowed him to pull the towel away and let it fall to the floor. You heard his intake of breath as his eyes trailed down your body.

“You’re just as beautiful as I imagined. Are you okay?”

You nodded. “I’m just trying to figure out if this is really happening.”

This time he gently grabbed both sides of your face, letting his thumbs brush along your cheeks as he kissed you slowly. More shouts came from the living room and no one seemed to notice that Jungkook was still gone. He let one of his hands glide down past your shoulder to your breast where he pinched your nipple between his fingers. Your body reacted immediately, arching into his touch as you moaned into the kiss.

“I wish I had more time,” he panted against your lips. “Can I go down on you?”

You felt your core clench around nothing at the aspect of him touching you. You whispered, “Please.”

He pecked your lips one last time before dropping to his knees in one fluid movement. He used his thumbs to pull your lips apart, exposing your clit to him. He wasted no time in running his tongue up your slit and over your clit causing your head to fall back against the wall. He pulled away to pop two fingers into his mouth before bringing them back to your clit, lying them flat against it, and rubbing rapidly to get you where he wanted you faster. Your hands grasped in the air trying to find purchase; they both landed squarely on his shoulders and you felt the muscles rippling and shifting in the one that was using most of his strength to get you off. He stopped suddenly to bring the same set of fingers back along your slit before curling them up inside of you. You clenched and spasmed around him as he found what he was looking for.

“There it is,” he whispered before bringing his mouth back to your clit again.

God he was good and you felt jealous of every other girl who got to experience this for two seconds before he was bringing you back to the present with a harsh suck to your clit. The sounds coming from him were lewd as his hand worked in and out of you at a pace you had never experienced before as his tongue flicked rapidly over your clit. He didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed as he sucked in the bit of drool that was escaping his mouth that was started to mix with your arousal as well. He shook his head as he buried his head farther into your cunt and started to hit your g-spot at a bruising pace with his fingers. Your vision started to cloud as felt the pressure build inside of you. Your mind focused on his tongue and hands and before you knew it you were coming so hard your legs started to shake and you felt his strong arms wrap around your thighs as he rested his head against your stomach. You held on to his shoulders as spasms continued to wave through your body. Both of you were still breathing heavily when he spoke.

“Is it okay for me to stand up?”

You laughed. “Yes, thank you for holding me or I would have hit the tile.”

“I know,” he said standing. “You came really hard.”

“I don’t think anyone has ever done that before.”

“I’d love to do it again,” he said as he wiped his mouth of your arousal.

“If you can do that with your mouth, then you might actually kill me with anything else.”

His face flushed deeply, and you thought it was cute that he was now shy after what had just happened.

“Well, can I take you on a date first?”

“Yes but know that Jimin will kill both of us.”

“Who cares what Jimin thinks.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to you. “Put your number in.”

As soon as you hit save you heard a shout from the living room. “YO JUNGKOOK YOU TAKING SHIT?!”

Jungkook quickly kissed you before saying, “I’ll text you.”

He darted out of the door while shouting in turn, “YEA WHAT OF IT?”

#btssmutclub #bangtanarmynet #bts smut #bts au #bts fic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts #jungkook smut #reader insert #jungkook x reader #college!jungkook #nonidol!jungkook

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soundofseventeen · 5 years

Text

Under the Umbrella (Kim Mingyu)

Alright y’all...you have my full permission to condemn me for never being on. I meant to have this posted like two weeks ago, but moving is hectic. Anyways, a happy late birthday to @notprincesscharming and @mingyulonglegs and I hope y’all like this! -Bee

Word count: 4962

“Y/N, don’t forget the umbrella,” Joshua called from the kitchen. “The news said it was actually gonna rain today.” He came into the living room, holding a bowl of popcorn, calmly sticking them into his mouth one by one. He eyed your casual attire, wondering if you’d be able to make it without getting wet.

You shook your head as if reading his mind. “They’ve been saying that since...forever ago and it’s been nothing but hot weather. I’ll live.” You sighed when your roommate shook his head at you, and went back to find said umbrella and came back out with a small huff and he nodded approvingly. You had just opened the door, stepping outside and only stopping when you remembered. “Do you need anything?”

“The will to live might be nice! I’m ready to drop out or get hit by a bus….I’m fine with either option at this point.” He flashed you his famous devil may care grin. “Anything will be better than this torture.”

You pulled out all the won in your pocket and waved it at him. “Sorry pal; the best I can do is an energy drink and maybe some ramen if you’re lucky.”

“I can live with that. Make sure it’s not that low carb shit though! Last time, I had a crash so bad that I slept for two days.” The engagement ring on his finger reflected against the sun and it shone on your face, making you turn away with a grimace. The wedding was a week away and you couldn’t believe how soon so many things that’d change. At least you knew that this would always be intact.

“You take what you get and you don’t complain!” You laughed and closed the door, ready to head to town for the week’s groceries since Joshua would be doing the cooking for a few more days. The sky was blue but a hint of the gray clouds colored around it. Rain had been in the forecast for sometime but it had yet to fall and you knew once it happened, the last traces of the humid weather would disappear for the remainder of the year and the cold would take its place.

Normally, you’d be thrilled to bring out your sweaters and blankets and parade down the streets in your favorite boots but lately you couldn’t find yourself to move past the summer or the adventures it brought. You could still taste the watermelon when you speared it with a toothpick and ate it while you waited in the laundromat for the washer to finish its last spin cycle and you could hear the songs playing on the radio while you roasted marshmallows and swatted the pesky mosquitoes while the campfire crackled happily with the attention. And you could smell the sunblock as you rubbed it on your skin even though you didn’t plan on leaving the shade. These memories you couldn’t let go of just yet and you hoped it could stay like that just a little longer until you could accept it. Especially when those expressive brown eyes and warm smiles that lit your soul from the inside out seemed dedicated to searing themselves deeper and deeper into your heart until a permanent mark took its place. You dusted the nonexistent dog hair off your shirt, hoping to shake it off.

The grocery shopping didn’t take as long as you expected it to, so you took the long way home, picking up a few extra things on the way back, even cutting your roommate some slack and picking up some takeout so he wouldn’t dirty the kitchen you spent a long time cleaning up. You didn’t enjoy the hot breeze that hit your face but it still hinted at the summer weather and for that, you were grateful. You walked past a popular restaurant, pausing when you recognized Minghao and nearly waved at him until you saw that he wasn’t alone. Your breath got caught in your throat and you struggled to get it out, your lungs failing you. Your hands trembled a little at the sight and it took all your power not to drop all the items in your hand and turn around. Minghao saw you and he waved, but you couldn’t. You merely walked past the window, not bothering to turn back until you were sure you wouldn’t see either of them. You faked a smile and a good mood for Joshua (which he bought, bless his soul) as you chatted (or rather gloated at how you were right and you didn’t need the umbrella) at the table and when you went outside to take the trash out, you looked at the evening sky once more.

Not a hint of rain.

The relationship you had hadn’t always been this way and you didn’t think you’d even make it as far as it did. You and Joshua had agreed to travel abroad together to experience a life outside of your home while you continued your studies, deciding that you needed a culture shock at least once in your life. You lucked out when you moved somewhere you could still speak English but the same couldn’t be said for others. That’s how Joshua met Kim Mingyu when they became roommates for a year.

Mingyu was someone who understood the basics of English but often had trouble communicating so the pair became fast friends because Joshua spoke Korean almost as well as Mingyu. It’s not that you didn’t have an interest in getting to know him, but you stayed in your dorm a lot, often studying and refusing to leave the place when your social anxiety kicked in, especially when it felt like you couldn’t relate to your own roommate. But when you started spending more time in their dorms, it seemed inevitable to befriend him as well.

He piqued your interest when you saw the photographs hanging all over the place and how good they looked even if he wasn’t a professional. He took a lot of candid pictures Joshua and many other boys you recognized both in your class and around the campus, and you noticed the captions on the back, writing the dates and the activities and the food stains that contrasted against the whiteness of the Polaroid he sometimes used. You were confused when you saw yourself in some of the background photos because you couldn’t remember Mingyu ever taking out a camera in your presence. It surprised you even more when you found out it was more of a hobby than a passion for him.

You weren’t sure what sparked the movement but you just knew that one day he was your best friend’s roommate and the next, he showed you his private world that included bass playing and poetry slams his other friends helped him write. He left after a couple of semesters due to him still being undecided in his major, but exchanged social media to keep in touch with each other’s lives. He was a great friend and even though it hadn’t been meant to have him around for a long time, you were satisfied in knowing you could watch him grow and cheer for him from afar. After all, it was a big wide world and you didn’t expect to cross paths with him again, not when he was destined for great things and his lack of posts on his social media proved it.

Over the school years, you and Joshua hopped around from university to university and meeting new people and being introduced to new things. You two dated around, although no serious commitments ever came out out of that, which sometimes bothered you because of the pressure to find someone hit you out of nowhere but Joshua often encouraged you to shrug it off and have fun. You wanted something serious but also your wanderlust always won in the end and you knew finding someone who was okay with you seeing parts of the world with your best friend was nearly impossible.

Your luck seemed to change when you arrived in South Korea. Tired of always asking your parents to transfer money into your bank account, you obtained a work visa to provide for your necessities and Joshua followed suit. You finally managed to move out of the dorms and into your own apartment with him as your roommate. Granted, you struggled in the beginning but anywhere seemed like a better option than sharing a place with someone you didn’t know.

It didn’t surprise you when Joshua casually announced he was going on a date one night you were doing calculus but you wondered why it had taken so long. When the first date turned into a second and then a third, you felt lonely because he didn’t stay home as much, even though he tried not make you feel left out and you appreciated that. However, you knew that you couldn’t hold onto him forever, especially because he seemed serious about this one. So you sucked it up and let Joshua be, keeping your emotions to a minimum.

One day, while at the hardware store, you were browsing the aisles, looking for the paint section because the living room needed a new coat when you saw a familiar face. He stuck out like a sore thumb even after not seeing him in a few years. Kim Mingyu carefully balanced the bird feeders in his arms and when he struggled to hold onto them, you found yourself running to help when one nearly toppled to the floor. His eyes widened when he saw you but he treated you like an old friend as he chatted away about the old lady near his house who was too old to replace her old ones and your paint was long forgotten. Just before he left, he said it had been good to see you again and it was a small world to wind up there of all places. You left home with a good mood at seeing him even though you exchanged nothing except a small catchup on your lives.

A month later, you found out you worked next door to each other when you had gone out for lunch and you saw him leave a local clinic for his own lunch. He called your name, flashed you a smile and waved you down, heading in opposite directions and all, and you ended up eating at a Japanese restaurant he swore was the best in the area. From there, not only did you try to time your lunch breaks to at least see him, but you finally managed to get his phone number although you quickly realized he was busy outside of work too. He had hobbies that included building cabinets and desks and painting them, and often checked in with the ajumma in exchange for learning her recipes. (He said it was good for future résumés.) He had switched to online courses so he’d have more time to do things so whenever you saw him during the lunch hours you couldn’t meet up, you’d see him with a laptop stuck to his face as he typed away.

The first time he asked you to hang out with him after work happened at the last minute. With work being slow, you were allowed a couple of hours earlier than usual when he had walked out, his phone wedged between his shoulder and his ear as he locked up, assuring someone it’d be okay. He had spotted you the moment he hung up and asked if you were busy. When you told him no, he apologized for asking you last minute but he had planned to go to a concert with his friend Seungcheol, but his sister had broken her arm and they were currently at the hospital and if you’d like to go. You thought about it a moment, quickly weighing out the pros and cons, and agreed. You texted him your address and he promised to pick you up within 30 minutes. Joshua wasn’t there so you wrote him a note not to wait up for you and that you had your keys in case you arrived later than planned and Mingyu whisked you away for the afternoon.

You two hit it off and before you knew it, he became part of your everyday life and you managed to balance school, work, home and now him. He began calling you weekly to see if you’d like to accompany him to do laundry late at night and most of the time, you said yes. Though most of the time he worked on his assignments, he made sure to bring the seasonal fruit in a container for you two to snack on until you complained you were hungry and he dashed to the McDonald’s across the street for a last minute meal. He invited you to a lot of other places that recommended or required a plus one and you went along with him whenever time allowed.

It took you a lot longer that you wanted to admit that he was someone who couldn’t be alone. Most of his personality trait revolved around the fact that he needed constant companionship and it wasn’t a bad thing but when you asked him about it he shrugged and said he liked being around people. But he did, however, invite you to an animal shelter and he rescued a pup that he fell in love with immediately. And then you figured out he liked helping others, felt a sense of responsibility and pride when he looked after people, and when you brought it up to him another night, he gripped the insect repellent little too tightly which made it slip from his hands and fall with a dusty crash next to Aji who woke up scared from her nap. He never thought of it like that and with a shy smile, he placed his hand on your knee and explained his dream to become a nurse to feel that sense of belonging in the world while Ed Sheehan sang contentedly in the background.

Joshua met him again and the two often made plans to hang out when their schedules lined up. Apparently they had a ton of mutual friends and they spent a lot of time together, often making a party out of study dates. You didn’t accompany them those times, instead taking advantage of the peace and quiet to catch up on your work, sleep or latest Netflix binge until your roommate came back.

Joshua noticed the sparkle in your eye whenever he saw you with Mingyu or whenever Mingyu stopped by, but he never said anything in fear of you denying it and pushing Mingyu away because it had happened in the past with a few others. However, he knew it wasn’t his business to interfere with your love life so he let you be, watching you slowly fall in love Mingyu, but also wondering if you’d ever make your move. He could tell that while watching Mingyu spraying your back with the sunblock and begging you to join him for a swim, he’d be your one that got away and he remained unsure if you’d be able to bounce back from that. That was one heartbreak Joshua would not know how to handle.

You swore you could never do that, but it was dusk and you saw him fiddling with the bass trying to keep the somber timbre between Hansol and Wonwoo rapping about hope despite the hopelessness they painted and you could feel Joshua wrapping his fingers around your hand as he let their words of affirmation sink in. You squeezed his hand back in reassurance, his breakdown still fresh in your minds and only let it go when you stood up to give Mingyu his well deserved standing ovation and you realized just how far you fell into the rabbit hole. He met your gaze bashfully and looked away just as quickly, a rare thing for someone as confident as Kim Mingyu. You threw a stray flower in his direction, to which he caught by the pink petal and fumbled out a meek, “thank you,” and walked offstage before anymore attention would be on him.

He might have not been the brightest crayon in the box, with the way he’d suddenly exclaim at a bruise he barely noticed while you talked about the possibility of failing one of your classes or whenever he called you in the middle of the night when you were dead asleep and asked if you wanted to go have dinner because he had just finished building the ajuma’s house for her blue jays (but you rejected those offers most of the time). Rather, it was the way he talked a hundred words a minute when it came down to him teaching Aji a new trick to when he raved about how Soonyoung was his favorite person for giving him extra guacamole so he wouldn’t have to ask for more. And your favorite times were when he’d swipe his eyes happily when he told you about the recovering drug addicts and alcoholics and how long they had stayed sober.

Just like that, you could feel the ache in your chest because you were just one of many of Mingyu’s admirers. He treated you the way he treated everyone else: with common courtesy and basic respect. You could easily find him having a meal with one of his coworkers while on break the same way you knew his everyday hobbies that included people. You didn’t let it get to you; just being his friend was more than enough. You merely smiled when it was your turn to spend time with him, feeling like the luckiest person walking the planet because you had been blessed with an angel...with respects to Jeonghan of course.

You kept him close, often letting him fall asleep during a movie when he overworked himself, and turning the air conditioner on as low as it could go because he radiated more body heat than you ever could and then covering yourselves with a blanket so he wouldn’t get cold and helping him make dinner when he didn’t have enough to go out and pretending you were in a relationship, because when he’d pick up whatever he was cooking with his chopsticks, and blowing on it so he could feed it to you and get your opinion, you couldn’t help but feel how domestic it was, especially if you managed to get sauce on your face somewhere and he’d clean it off with a napkin.

And then somewhere between your own mental breakdown from stressing out over everything and Joshua one day telling you he’s getting married, Mingyu also dropped the news he’d be leaving at the end of the month to Japan to pursue a cooking career which turned your life upside down and you went out of your way to shut him out so the goodbye could be easier. It worked some days, like when you agreed to open or close at work so you wouldn’t bump into him and joining a couple of study groups so you wouldn’t outright fail your classes and even accompanied Joshua to see the caterers that interested him the most. You’d be so tired at night, Mingyu wouldn’t even cross your mind as your head hit the pillow and your eyes closed involuntarily and you brought your blanket as close to your face as you could. And some days, it felt impossible because a piece of Mingyu always seemed to be everywhere: the grocery store, the gym you passed by on your way home, the park and you could recall the details, even the insignificant ones like Mingyu tying tying his shoe and jumping in surprise at the bee that flew in his face, mistaking him for a flower. (Could you blame the bee though? He bloomed fully with the light in his eyes and the clean smell from all the soaps and detergents and fabric softener he threw in the washer, and how beautiful he was to marvel at. You would’ve done the same thing.)

The leaves finally started changing their colors, the department stores breaking out the scarves for the cold weather, the coffee shops with their infamous pumpkin spiced everything, and the night crept in earlier with each passing day and yet, the warm weather remained as if not quite letting you let go of Mingyu either.

And even when the first day of autumn officially arrived with promises of rain in the forecast, you still sighed heavily and wondered when the summer would be over for you.

“Don’t wait up for me,” Joshua said on the other end of the line. “We’re still looking for homes and the person who owns the venue might be late.”

“You have three days until your wedding and-never mind. Be careful both of you. You have your key, right? Okay, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You hung up and immediately went to your room to pick up the (overdue) library books as well as the ones neatly stacked up on the kitchen counter. You were thankful that the librarian working today was familiar with you and wouldn’t charge you the late fees and for that you were grateful.

This particular day brought the time of firsts. You woke up in the morning feeling well rested and okay, and when you opened your window, a cool breeze greeted you. You even checked the weather app, and for the first time in a long time, there was no rain scheduled in the forecast. With that, you burst into a sleeping Joshua’s room and announced the good news, and running out to search for your favorite slipper socks and blanket for the special occasion. You didn’t work and you had finally caught up in most of your classes so as a reward, you binge watched all your favorite movies with your roommate until he had to get ready for the final wedding preparations and hopefully find a place to live. He asked you to come with him, especially because the temperature rose and he found it difficult not to laugh at you for getting carried away but you declined, savoring the day until reality kicked in again. That happened sooner than expected when you saw your books and cursed yourself and gave in, switching out of your pajamas for a pair of shorts.

Chan snickered at you when you sheepishly handed him the books, and as part of the deal, handed him his favorite packet of gum in exchange for the override and after picking out new reads, saw you off with a sarcastic yet happy, “See you next time!” and stuck a stick of spearmint gum in his mouth and blew a bubble.

You hadn’t even been inside long but when you stepped out, you noticed the sky had turned a dark gray color. The cold air picked at your skin and you rubbed your hands up and down along your arms to keep warm. It wasn’t a long walk but you didn’t know if you’d be able to handle it. You stopped long enough to put the books into your backpack when you felt the raindrops...and you groaned. The one time you didn’t bring your umbrella and this happened. And you hated the meteorologist in charge of the Seoul weather for not doing their job properly. It fell long and hard with the pent up energy of not doing it sooner.

You had yet to get up but you didn’t have the strength to, feeling overwhelmed as if you had just experienced a betrayal. You were supposed to enjoy the change in climate, not suffocate in it. And just like that, it stopped…but not really. It still fell around you, but it wasn’t pelting you like before. You looked up to see none other than the Kim Mingyu shielding you and himself from the rain. He offered his hand to you, and you hesitantly took it as you stood up.

“What are you doing out here dressed like that? You’re gonna get sick.”

“I didn’t know it was gonna rain. I...had to turn in some books and got some new ones.”

“Doesn’t Joshua hyung take care of you?” The tone he used surprised you. It sounded bitter, almost angry even.

“Joshua had some stuff to do for the wedding,” you mumbled, staring at the wet ground. You didn’t doubt that a few minutes, it’d be pooling at your ankles and you knew that you had to leave. Fast.

“Oh.” He stayed quiet for a moment, but not making an effort to move. “I haven’t seen him lately but please tell him I’m sorry that I’m not gonna be able to attend the ceremony.”

“Mingyu-” You were at a loss for words. “He’s one of your best friends. You need to be there.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. It’d…” He struggled to say thoughts out, only to fail and choke on them. “I can’t go. He’s one lucky guy.”

You nodded. “I agree. It’s what he’s wanted.”

“Is it what you want though?” He asked.

“Huh?” You looked up at him in confusion. His eyes, often telling the stories of his emotions, stared at you intensely, and you wondered if for a moment, he could see the inside of your soul.

��Does he make you happy?”

“Well, yeah. Mingyu, he’s my best friend-”

“Do you know that he’s cheating on you?”

“What?”

“While you’re over here, probably coming down with a cold, he’s out with someone else. I saw them earlier. They were laughing and holding hands and kissing I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but I can’t come to your wedding knowing that he’s gonna hurt you later in life and-”

And you laughed. So hard you cried and with those tears came all the emotions you’ve been repressing and you cried for everything and he held you with the arm that wasn’t holding the umbrella. “Mingyu…” you had to catch your breath before you could speak properly. “Mingyu, I’m not marrying Joshua.”

“Oh thank God you’ve come to your senses.”

“Mingyu, I never was. I could never, not even for all the money in the world. I love him, I really do, but not like that. Don’t you know that by now?”

“But you guys...are always doing things together...I heard you once when he called you about the flavor of cake you wanted...and how you’re always showing up everywhere together....”

“Mingyu, we’re roommates and friends. It has never gone beyond the platonic level.” Except for one drunken kiss you shared a long time ago, but it was a dare. You had witnesses. “We do a lot of things because it’s convenient for us too.” You took his hand and wrapped your pinkie around his. “He’s happy and I’m happy just the way we are.”

“So you’re not in love with him?” He wiped the last of your tears with his sleeve, looking hopeful.

“No...just you.” You dropped your gaze, not wanting to see his reaction, but wating to hear the rejection.

With that, he dropped the umbrella and took your face in his hands, not caring about getting wet. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that.” He pressed his forehead to yours. “I thought, I thought-”

“It’s just you,” you assured him. “It’s always been you, I guess. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something as much as this.”

He finally closed the distance between you, enveloping you in a kiss with so much love, it left you breathless. “Let’s go home.”

Mingyu laughed as you stepped on him again but didn’t say anything. Since the band played at the reception, he hadn’t let you take a break and while you had gotten a little better, you still had a ways to improve. He kissed your cheek at the effort, and finally cut you some slack and returned to the table, holding your hand proudly the whole time.

The room was alive with music, the laughter and squeals of the children as they ran across the floor, some of them bumping into the dancers, the compliments of the place and the critiques of those family members who wouldn’t have been pleased even if the venue was made of gold, and still you looked around at everyone, the face of the married man who was still gonna be your best friend, to his friends and their dates, smiling at Vernon and his love, just because you knew their history and how his love denied they were together, even though you could see the Hansol’s ring around the neck, loud and clear for the public to see. (You could hear the conversation despite the noise. “I’m gonna smack you right now. Just walk away while you have a chance.”

“You need to let go of my hand first.”

“I’ll do no such thing.”

“Sucks. ‘Bye.”

“Chwe Hansol, come back and give me attention. I’m not done holding your hand.”)

As Joshua clinked his glass to get everyone’s attention, he caught your eye and smiled at you. He stated his speech about his move with you and even though many things had changed, things were relatively the same as well. He was uncertain about his future but one thing remained clear: with his love, he could face anything.

And you looked at Mingyu again, staring at you with a smile on his face, and you kissed him softly. Because as long as you had him, the world could hurl whatever it wanted at you.

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jaehyun-eclipsed · 4 years

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Before I Met You | Eight

Updates: Sundays, ~8 PM EST

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas, Mark…) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Author’s Note: I’m sorry for the delay! I got distracted watching videos of Lucas 🙈 That man is disrespectful to my feelings.

Before I Met You Masterlist

Prev | Next

The furious scritch-scratching of a pencil can be heard even amongst all of the chatter in the dorm’s fifth floor study room. I glance over at Mark as he scribbles down incomprehensible equations in his lab notebook, furrowing his brow in frustration as he struggles to make sense of whatever solution he has just derived.

“You doing okay there?” I ask.

He huffs and pushes his notebook over to me. “Does this look right?”

I squint my eyes in confusion. “What did you do?”

Mark throws his hands up in defeat. “I don’t know! I was just trying to find the density.”

I scan the semblance of chemistry equations, acknowledging the attempt at the proper steps that ultimately fall short. “Well, first you need to find the number of molecules…”

He nods, slowly understanding the task at hand. “Ah, okay, okay! And then you divide that by the Avocado number to get the number of moles, right?”

The corner of my mouth raises to form a half-smile, amused at his use of the term he uses to memorize the name of Avogadro’s number. Mark was quirky like that. “Yes, then multiply that by the molecular weight to convert it to grams.”

“YO! Then I can plug that into the density equation!”

He pulls back his notebook and starts crossing out his previous work before quickly writing in the correct equations.

Mark and I met in our intro chemistry class. He was one of the five boys in our class and one of the only two cute ones. But what really sold it was that he was much nicer than the other guy; more open, less reserved, and he had an infectious smile. He was the definition of sincere happiness.

As is with every class, we started out by introducing ourselves:

“Hi, I’m Y/N and I’m a freshman. Um, I’m a biology major.”

“Hi, my name’s Mark. I’m a freshman and I’m an English major and I’m taking chemistry because I’m also sorta interested in biology.”

He was the only person in the class that I was moderately interested in speaking to; he seemed to get along with everyone. Admittedly, part of my motivation was because I thought he was cute.

I had only decided to speak to him after I caught him staring at me at the beginning of class once. We were listening to our TA give instructions for the day. Mark was standing next to her and I happened to glance at him, realizing that he was already looking at me – and that’s when he smiled that captivating smile of his. Later that day, I went up to him to confirm the melting temperature of the final product (even though I had already confirmed with several groups around me).

A few weeks later, we both happened to be at the fume hood, evaporating our solvents out of a flask in order to derive our final precipitate. As we were the only two in that part of room, an awkward silence happened to pass between us – one of ‘I know you, but have absolutely no idea what to say.’ Luckily for me, he was the first one to speak this time.

“How was your spring break?” he asked, keeping his focus on his flask.

“It was fine. I went home and studied for most of it since we have that midterm coming up in a week.”

“And where’s home for you?”

“Medford,” I said. “Oregon. It’s a small town, really pretty. How about you?”

“I’m from Vancouver.” He turned to smile at me. “Canada.”

Another pause passes between us.

“Hey, have you looked over the post-lab questions for this experiment?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Do you know how to do them?”

“Yeah, I think so. The equations we need are in the lecture notes.”

He hummed in response before turning to look at me. “Do you think I could get your number in case I need help? I get really confused in lecture sometimes.”

The excitement on my face was clearly evident as I said, “Sure!”

And that is how this all started. Every week since then, Mark and I would meet up to do the post-lab questions together.

That first homework session Mark and I had together was a turning point for me. Transitioning to college had been a challenge. Leaving home, living on my own, and adjusting to the rigor of the classes left me feeling defeated a lot of the time. Back in high school, I had to put in a lot of homework hours, but none of the material was necessarily difficult. It was just time consuming because we were given so much. But the content in college was tough. I had gotten a C on my first midterm and due to being a 4.0 student in high school, a C was unfathomable. It didn’t lend me anymore comfort knowing that more than fifty percent of my grade was based on exam performance and yet, I could spend hours and hours studying without a guarantee of a positive return. It was discouraging.

If I wasn’t in class, I was spending my time by myself in my dorm. I had two roommates, but I didn’t particularly care for either of them. One would wake up early to go to the gym and come back in the morning and slam everything she possibly could on her desk as if nobody else lived there. The other girl – well, her laptop’s wallpaper was a selfie… I think that tells you plenty.

Overall though, it was lonely. I didn’t care for the people I had befriended at the beginning of the year for various reasons so I called my dad every day and counted the days until I could go home.

I’ll never forget the way I felt when I returned home for winter break. Doyoung, Hana, and I had gone over to Taeyeon’s house one night after having dinner and milkshakes. We were there until three in the morning doing acroyoga and dancing in her living room. We were just being kids – carefree and happy. The overwhelming joy I felt that night was something I hadn’t felt in months and I remember having a moment of self-awareness as I watched Doyoung balance Hana on his knees.

I’m not happy.

Starting college in a different state was supposed to be a new beginning. One that’s supposed to be “the best four years of my life.” One where I’d meet a diverse group of people from all over the world. One where I’d get to experience my first college party, fall in love, discover my passion, learn new things... And while I was learning a lot in class, met many people, and did go to my first college party, I was slowly hoping that it would all end soon even though everything had just begun. I was alone and didn’t feel like I had anyone to talk to. That made me realize something else: Being alone never bothered me until it was no longer a choice.

Shortly after those moments of realization, the nightmares started. I had trouble sleeping and when I did finally manage to fall asleep, I’d abruptly wake up hours later, hyperventilating in a cold sweat.

What am I doing? How am I going to get through this?

Who was that confident person I was back in high school?

Where did she go?

Maybe she was just... acting.

Great, I’ve been acting my whole life.

“Y/N.” He sighs loudly and turns to look at me, pulling me from my reverie. “Why are you so amazing?”

I smile back at him. It’s comments like these that make my heart stall and my chest feel warm. Though, I wish I believed him. I know he’s just talking about me helping him with chemistry, but sometimes I hope that it’s a little more than that. We’re in the same year and we get along really well. Plus, he’s really cute. Perhaps we could start dating.

Mark has made me feel comfortable here. I look forward to seeing him every week. His carefree and go with the flow nature is addicting. If he’s ever stressed, he’s very good at hiding it. It’s the complete opposite of my personality. Mark is someone I want to be around all the time.

I love his little quirks. Like when he gets frustrated and furrows his brow. He shakes his head in frustration and clicks his tongue. Or when he laughs – it’s a loud, boisterous laugh followed by a punch in the shoulder to whoever is closest to him. He has this youthfulness to him that will never die. He searches for the happiness in everything and encourages everyone around him. He’s the friend everyone wishes they had.

“You know,” he begins, “I can’t believe that we lived in the same unit this whole time.”

Mark lived in the neighboring dorm building, leaving little opportunity to meet unless we happened to dine near each other in the cafeteria or attended the dorm-wide events in the multi-purpose room.

It would’ve been nice to have a friend earlier on.

“Oh, I saw you a few weeks into the semester,” I say.

He looks at me, clearly surprised. “Yo, what? You did?!” he exclaims. “Why didn’t you say ‘hi’?!”

Mark is in disbelief when I shrug. We hadn’t spoken yet when I saw him that time. I was surprised and quite excited that the cute guy from chem class lived in the same unit as I did. But I was way too shy to say anything. I didn’t want him knowing that I remembered his name and had been paying attention to him ever since the first day of class. He probably didn’t remember my name anyway. But knowing we did live near each other did give me some encouragement to make an attempt to talk to him.

“I – I don’t know. I didn’t really know who you were,” I say. “I mean, I knew you were in my chem class, but –”

“Where did you see me?”

“You were getting the mail.”

“You should’ve said ‘hi’! I would’ve recognized you!”

I open my mouth to say something, but end up making weird gestures with my hands as I don’t know how to respond honestly to Mark’s comment.

He sighs and looks at me with a playfully stern expression. “Well next time, you gotta say ‘hi’! I like saying ‘hi’ to my friends!”

I nod. “Okay, yes, sir,” I quip. “I’ll remember that next time.”

He grins widely and puts his pencil down. “Hey, are you busy tomorrow?”

“I have class at eleven, but that’s it,” I say. “Why?”

“Do you wanna go play badminton with me?!”

I squint my eyes in confusion. This is not the request I was expecting. “Uh…”

“The weather’s supposed to be really nice and I just got the new net I ordered online! I wanna try it out!”

“Uh, okay,” I say slowly. “Sure. I didn’t realize you liked to play badminton.”

“Oh yeah! It’s my favorite! I used to play with my brother all the time back in Vancouver. Have you played?”

“I used to play in high school. Actually, my team in P.E. won our badminton tournament!”

“Oh! You must be pretty good then!”

“Probably not. It’s been a while.”

“Well, it’s gonna be fun! I’ll meet you on the lawn in front of the library? Like, three?”

“Sure!”

The next day is bright and sunny and after attending psychology discussion, I returned home for a quick sandwich followed by an hour of reading before changing clothes. I opted for a coral cold-shoulder top, blue denim shorts, knock-off boat shoes, and pulled my wavy, brown locks into a ponytail. At two-thirty, I set out for campus.

When I arrive on the lawn, Mark has already set up the net. He picks up a racket, spins it around in his hand, and then tosses a birdie with his free hand up into the air. A loud whack is heard moments before the projectile lands right in front of my feet. I look up and am met with Mark’s bright smile and an excited wave.

“Hey!” Mark runs over to me, enveloping me in a hug. “Isn’t it beautiful today?!” He pulls back to look at me. “You look very summery today!”

“Oh, yeah, I figured since it’s nice out today and there’s no wind…” I shrug.

“Yeah! It’s perfect for us to play!” He picks up the birdie from the ground. “Come on!”

I follow him over to where he had set up the net, picking up the other racket near one of the poles. He’s smiling at me when I look at him again. “Don’t make fun of me if I lose!”

He laughs. “Don’t worry! I won’t! You’ll just have to help me out with chemistry.”

“I already do that!”

It’s momentary and I nearly miss it, but there’s a very brief hesitation before his lips curve up into a bashful smile. His eyes are soft and I detect the slightest bit of admiration in them. There’s a crooked smile on my face when I narrow my eyes at him in curiosity. He remains silent.

After a few moments, I turn my gaze away from him, trying to bite back an embarrassed smile as I superficially glance over at some students playing ultimate Frisbee.

“Are you ready to play?!” Mark asks suddenly.

“Yeah!”

I walk to the opposing side of the net and ready myself for Mark’s serve.

“Zero, zero!”

Swiftly, I swing the racket with a bit of force, easily returning Mark’s serve. He misses.

“Lucky shot,” he remarks, shaking his head.

I pick up another one of the birdies. “One, zero!”

We’re able to rally for a bit when I decide to carry out my signature move from high school. I barely tap the birdie, giving it just enough force to barely make it over the net.

“Oh – what the?!” Mark shouts as he attempts to dive just as the birdie hits the ground.

“Two, zero,” I say with a wide grin.

I’m looking at him as he’s sitting on the ground on my side of the net, one arm propped up on his knee. He chuckles and looks up at me, squinting into the sunlight.

“And you thought you were going to be bad at this!”

I shrug innocently. “I don’t know… or are you just letting me win? Hm?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Oh, so you’re just not very good at this,” I tease. “That’s okay. I understand.” I break out into laughter when he looks at me with a playful frown.

“Hey!” He’s laughing now. “You know that I’m facing the sun, right?! I’m at a disadvantage.”

I wave my hand in dismissal. “Excuses.”

I extend my hand out to help him stand up. Unfortunately, the weight distribution between us is very imbalanced and results in Mark pulling me down; I fall on top of him with a loud squeal.

“I’m so sorry!” I say in between laughs, trying push myself up off of him with my hands on either side of his body.

He places a hand on the small of my back. “Are you okay?”

I lift my head to look at him, feeling my heart jump briefly as I realize how close we are together. My laughter ceases.

“Uh, yeah,” I say, quickly pushing myself off of him and standing up on my own, brushing myself off.

I watch him as he ducks under the net and repositions himself, smiling widely at me again.

There’s a warmth and giddiness that fills my chest and I recognize it immediately. It’s the same happiness I felt with Doyoung, Hana, and Taeyeon. I smile to myself.

I think things are going to be okay.

I’m suddenly caught off guard when I hear Mark’s racket strike the birdie. My eyes widen as it flies over to my right.

“Oh!” I yelp as I lunge to the side a moment too late.

“Sorry, I was thinking about something,” I say as I turn around to pick up the birdie.

“Oh… about what?”

I smile back at him. “Nothing really. Just that I’m having a lot of fun.”

He cracks a grin as I’m about to serve. “One, two,” he quips.

I frown. “Does that even count?”

“One, two,” he says again with a mischievous smile.

That night, while catching up on some psychology reading, my phone vibrates, Mark’s name flashing on the message notification.

Mark [8:07 PM] Yo! Hey! Today was really fun! Thanks for coming!

Me [8:10 PM] Thank you for inviting me! I haven’t had that much fun in a while

Mark [8:15] Oh and thanks so much for helping me out all the time in chem! You’re a life saver! 😊

Mark [8:17 PM] If you’re up to it, I’d love to take you out for lunch as a thank you! 😊

Mark has been responsible for many of my smiles over the past few weeks. And here he is, doing it again. I chuckle to myself as I feel the giddiness of having a crush return.

Me [8:20 PM] Yeah! That would be great! Thank you!

I don’t think this is a date, but at the very least, I know that Mark likes spending time with me. He’s also definitely a lot nicer than Lucas. So who knows? We have the next three years to find out.

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Before I Met You Masterlist Masterlist

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #wayv #cznnet #nct mark #mark lee #nct jaehyun #jung jaehyun #wong yukhei #nct lucas #lucas wong #nct x reader #nct fluff #nct angst #SUPERM #before i met you

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jooneggs · 5 years

Text

The Star From Santa | Jin ⭐

⤑ Pairing: Jin x Reader ⤑ SUMMARY: Christmas in the city just isn’t the same. Especially when your harboring a longing for the mysterious man who made you adore the night sky just months ago ⤑ Genre: Fluffy | Angsty | And a lil’ bit Smutty ⤑ Warnings: Swearing, Homesick and Sad y/n, Drinking, Sexual Tension, Oral (f)) Receiving, Nipple Play (f), Kim Cuddles ⤑ Word count: 7.7k

A/N: This is my first ever BTS fic, and first time to ever participate in an online writing project. I was a Secret Santa for @bloodpotato, and i couldn’t be more thankful. It was such a pleasure to get to know more about you as a person and a writer; you really are a sweetheart. I will always be reminded of your answer regarding star-gazing and cloud-watching as it has reminded me of how lucky i am to live in a place where i can watch the sky in the countryside whenever i'd like to. I also, as someone from England, learnt a lot more about Christmas down under *whoop whoop*! I really hope you enjoy this one shot and have a beautiful Christmas, love Roxy.

Also a quick thank you to the honey’s at BTS Writers Collective for having me as a member of their Network and for organizing this project with many other writers, i had a lot of fun 💜

This definitely didn’t count as the first time you felt you were literally drowning in coffee.

It was only 6am and you had already found yourself crawling out of bed to your desk to slave over work with your partner in crime, caffeine. The feeling it gave you was warmth, but all around you was evidence of yet another year of Christmas’ return. A small pine tree suffocating in tinsel lent broadly on your windowsill, whilst the streets below seemed to glow with spirit.

If it weren’t for your non-stop schedule, you would have stopped for an hour or two at your window and become completely entranced in the flow of rosy-cheeked shoppers and lights. You liked the lights the most, but staring at them for too long could almost pierce the veil that you were really happy with the way things were currently going.

Although it felt like a millennia, it was just two months ago that you had started working as a sales assistant for a local retail store that just needed extra staff to cover Christmas time. Things had been rough since moving away, you guessed, and had immediately tried to soften the blow by pre-occupying yourself.

You had tried a convenience store which fell through when you tried to confront some obvious thieves against your managers wishes. You had then attempted to work in a jewelers, before being dismissed for being too friendly to the customers, almost ‘befriending every single one’ as your manager put it. That kind, outgoing streak in you seemed like your ultimate downfall, before you finally found yourself as a sales assistant with things looking-up as the senior staff seemed to cherish the youthful spark within you. And you quite enjoyed working there, spreading your knowledge and learning things about each customer as-well; it felt a bit like life had just softened all the blows and gave you a hearty pat on the back.

Of course the pain from moving didn’t just disappear. You supposed it was time that almost bandaged that wound. Yes, you’d call it a ‘wound’..maybe now a scar. That’s what moving away from your hometown in New Zealand felt like to you. No one can deny that childhood heavily influences the entire spectrum of a human, so it felt safe to say that the countryside had forever bred a love for monotony and peace inside of yourself. Walking to work each day, you seemed surrounded by noise: the sound of cars, the small violence of neon shop lights and the constant buzz of conversation. This was not the same a few years ago before you moved. Out in the sticks, things flowed with a calm intensity: everything felt as one. It just felt more bearable to work, live and breath.

Each evening you’d find yourself re-cooping under the nearest loose-leaf shaded tree or patch of grass near your house, a book and pencil in your hand, or sometimes just you and your thoughts. During that time, you’d worked in a bakery next to your house. It was a small village near a beach, and you found it easy to navigate yourself between neighbors and small shops. Most fondly, when thinking back to your home, you’d remind yourself of the field closest to the bakery. It seemed like only yesterday you were smuggling rolls from failed batches into your backpack to enjoy during your lunch break. You felt like The Famous Five itself (except from it was just solitary you) buttering bread rolls in a quiet field, attempting to converse with nature herself. The blades of grass, the dopey little flowers that seemed to smile back at you, and the sky..

The sky..the clear sky was the best. It seemed to clear any worries you’d had that day.

And then, of course, there was 'him’..

The city smog here would often shadow the stars, leaving you feeling like the only entity on this earth. Couple that with the fear of you spending another year without visiting back home to see actual stars and experience undeviating peace; you felt completely fucked over.

A sudden shrill sound of trucks passing blared through the window, pulling you from your thinking. You shook what felt like dust-mites from your hair. Staring around absentmindedly, you noticed you’d unconsciously downed all the coffee from your mug.

“Ah..this isn’t any good.” You belched, almost fully deflating in your chair. The desk below you felt littered in paperwork from work. You’d recently been given overtime. ‘Overtime’ meaning absurd hours into the holidays where all you felt like doing was kicking your feet up and watching something you love. That, at this point however, felt extremely optimistic as you now had just a day before the deadline to file through papers you hadn’t chance to finish in your last shift.

“Bags feel heavy..” You murmured “My eye bags feel heaaavy..”

You filed through the sheets below you, all the blanks needing to be filled in were more than obvious to your eyesight. What was all this for anyway? You vaguely remember sitting through a precarious training session at work that answered the above question, but you also vaguely remembered it going right over your head. At this point, you wished you could just spend your days glued to a window, just observing and doing nothing at all.

Thumbing at the sheets, the nerve to refill on coffee shook your senses, bringing you to your feet. The large mug hanging from your hand paled in comparison to the weight you felt was dragging down on your small frame. You hoped a nice drink and the process of walking a few meters would give you some air.

You unlocked your bedroom door, always cautious to remain private, and stepped out onto the corridor to reach the kitchen. Moving closer, the sound of traffic from your room faded, and your roommates jovial humming filled the space. Stepping into the doorway, it felt like you had walked into some kind of psychedelic grotto, as your roommate could not be heard humming notable Christmas tunes. Dangling on a wooden dining chair, she seemed tempted to cover your Christmas tree in as many colors and designs as possible. Ornamental hot-dogs, cats, rainbows, teddies and doughnuts hung on each branch, almost screaming out to the entire world to be paid attention to. Moving closer to inspect the madness of the tree, you felt surprised that your roommate didn’t feel confident enough with this bright display to proclaim it to the entire block of flats.

“Ah Toya, you’re nuts!” You exclaimed.

“You could say that..” She laughed, halting her humming and stepping clumsily from the chair to seat herself opposite yourself.

“You’re literally, a complete Christmas cracker!”

“Well..” She said, pondering her own work “I think it definitely makes a statement.”

That’s for sure, you thought. Gazing at the Christmas tree, you seemed to spot every single element of her glistening in the tinsel. Around the room, you noticed so much of her work; not just the decorations, but the tidiness. You felt like you had been locked away in your room for days, simply apparating to and from your bedroom to your job. Looking at all of this only made that feeling more seated in your stomach as you realized just how much you’d missed socializing with your roommate.

“Y/N” Toya said, standing up and gently patting your shoulder, moving you out of your thoughts “Hey, I need to speak to you about - “

“Do you think i need to stop drinking coffee?” You blurted “Sorry - I mean..i’m struggling a bit with my work and it seems to help but I've been in my room a lot now and I feel bad about being away from you and just not being this crazy socialite that I usually am.”

“Judging from the length of that sentence, I think you’ve probably had enough caffeine for today.”

“I - “

“Why don’t you sit down so i can have a word with you regarding - “

“Hold on a second Toya. Sorry, i just want to get myself one more cup, then i’ll ration myself on water for the rest of the day, k’ay?” With that, you hustled over to the kitchen worktop and began to make another brew for yourself that was gonna be a lot more than just small.

With the coffee jar in the base of your hand, and its granules filing their way into your mug, you felt Toya’s eyes searching yours from the other side of the room. Things had hushed since you denounced your second coffee escapade for the day, and you suspected she wasn’t too happy with the way you were acting; you weren’t too happy with the way you’d been acting yourself.

Whenever Toya felt a led of resentment towards your behavior, she’d do this - just stop talking and confront you with her eyes. At this point in your friendship, you could tell instantly when it was going to happen. It was her silent way of judging, but acknowledging you at the same time.

When you’d left home and took up your first job in the city, you’d met Toya: hiding in the nooks of a storage room at your convenience store, rummaging through boxes of candy to deliver, a lollipop in her mouth. You were the cashier and she was the local delivery driver who scooted her way around the neighborhood each week, running errands with a smile on her face. That contagious smile brought out the socialite within you, and three months later you looked at Toya as a friend, and a roommate.

You suspected she’d seen your downward spiral, and so her staring had become more frequent recently. This was, inevitably, a game of cat and mouse..and soon she would end up catching right onto you..the cat who got the cream. It was only the fact that she cared about you, and the fact that you wouldn’t open up to her that made her once vocal attempts turn to silent, vicious calls to action.

But you were scared to say anything really. Your innocence, your childhood, your hometown was this fragile thing stored deep within you.

Not only that, but how would you be able to tell her about ‘him’?..it all just felt easier to avoid.

“Ah shit, i guess that’s the last of the coffee granules..” you grumbled, letting the coffee jar go empty and your mug liquid black. You screwed the lid back on with applied tension and began to move toward the door with your beverage, letting Toya’s eyes follow you.

“It’s not about you moving away, is it?” She chimed.

“..What?”

“Well..you are hurt because you’ve moved all of a sudden and its a big change, right? But that’s not just it? That’s not the main reason.”

“I need to get this paperwork done, I'm sorry.” You felt frozen, attempting to walk back to your room and away from her despite your body desperately telling you to turn back and be honest. It wasn’t entirely the truth and - hell you knew that, you’d told yourself this every day - but you couldn’t just tell Toya everything. You couldn’t even say ‘his’ name. You decided that you would never bring him up unless he made himself visible to you. On that note, you felt your bedroom door close behind you and the world fall away a little bit as your mug met the desk and your back met your chair.

Thinking like this was a dilemma; The definition of its adjective: using thought or rational judgement, seemed to contradict every illogical and irrational thing running through your mind right now. This was the whole reason why sticking to bed, caffeine and staring out of windows made life much easier for you, it disabled you from thinking like this and simply focusing on the task at hand, even if that task was lying in bed. Of course you knew it contradicted everything you were and loved back in the countryside, but like animals adapt to changing habitats, you had simply adjusted to compete with the concept of living in a state of constant sensory overload.

Okay. Think straight. Put your coffee down - yes, leave it, no drinking. What was the best thing to do now? Tugging your phone from your pocket, you realized only an hour had passed..and you had a whole day to complete this work. I mean, it was only 7am, sleep didn’t seem entirely unjustified..

-------------------------------------------

“Good morning, your listening to The Edge Radio Station, Auckland. The summer holidays truly are out and were getting on our festive gear with some of your favorite Christmas Classics. -”

It was the distant thrum of the radio that brought you out of your sleep; that, and the fact you felt you were jolting around at 50/mph. It wasn’t long before the far off hope for more sleep suddenly made you realize you weren’t sitting at your desk; at least the constant movement of your body didn’t make it feel like that.

A quick panorama was all it took to bring you to your senses. You were in a car seat, your legs twisted horizontally, thumping against the chair. Your hands wriggled in your lap, and you felt the slight sensation of drool pooling down your jaw. Lazily wiping your mouth you peered out to your right. Toya sat in the seat next to you, slouched in the backrest, casually orienteering the steering wheel. Her black hair was slightly muzzled, a habit in the midst of her frustration, her clothes exactly the same as the ones she wore this morning. With the placid look on her face, you wondered what had led her to placing you in her car and spontaneously driving off. A distant memory of her wanting a ‘word’ with you floated around in your mind bringing you to the conclusion that this was what the ‘word’ was going to be: a trip somewhere that was probably foreign to you.

So where were you headed? What urgency required you to drop all work and all plans on Christmas Eve to be dragged unconscious into a car and driven away by your roommate? The fear of missing deadlines and skipping work fizzled in your stomach, wondering how you’d ever explain this to your manager, your colleagues and a more than disappointed set of parents.

“Ah so your awake?” Toya said, turning slightly toward you.

“What have you done now? I need an entire explanation.” You replied, sitting up straight, letting your hands cling to the dashboard.

“What have you been doing with yourself y/n? I’ve shook my hair up in frustration because of you, you’ve let yourself slip.”

“I’ve been slipping since i first took that job at that fucking convenience store..”

“Right, and i thought..” She paused, scratching her head “I thought that you’d only get worse spending Christmas cooped up in our flat with just my crazy ass to keep you company. I mean, i know i’m not much help, but you’re so private you don’t tell me anything, you just crack jokes. And i was trying to speak to you earlier, to tell you i wanted to take you somewhere. I didn’t want it to have to get to the point where it feels like i’m kidnapping you because you value coffee over important conversations.”

You mumbled an incoherent ‘yeah’ in response.

“So I guess now is the time I reveal to you what i’m doing..”

With an exhale, she loosened her grip on the wheel and grabbed your hand. Eyes still on the road ahead of her, the unexpected touch helped to bridge your barriers and relax you ever so slightly.

“I’m taking you back to your hometown y/n. I thought you could spend Christmas Eve there with me or just by yourself, then on Christmas Day you could go to your parents..i mean, I've contacted them and everything.”

It felt like an electric bolt had run through you “What? What?!”

“You needed to get out for a bit, I had to do this.”

“But Toya, what about my work and everything. I purposely locked myself away because I couldn't go out, I just couldn’t make the time.” You felt yourself gasping and all of a sudden the familiarity of the scenery washed over you.

It was the red budded trees you instantly recognized, standing tall by the roadside in little colonies, their wide branches leaning out to you. Metrosideros Excelsa, the epitome of Christmas and the most precious thing about the season to you was, all of a sudden, everywhere. They were evergreen plants, with beautiful fluffy red flowers, topped with yellow buds. On Christmas Eve and New Year’s, you’d go the short distance to the beach with your family and shelter yourself under one, watching the sunset and the tide slowly pour in. At night, the tree would turn a burgundy red, its branches whistling in the gentle wind. It was custom each year to witness fireworks on the beach, go swimming or attend a village barbecue to reflect on the seasons.

But how could you enjoy these things once again with the thought of progress on your mind, with the looming fear of disappointment from your peers creeping over you?

“It’s okay y/n, I've sorted everything out, absolutely everything.” Toya chimed, a smirk running along her lips, her hand squeezing yours “I spoke to your manager last night, and told him about your situation. You know how proud they are of you and how much of an asset you are to the company, as much as you want to deny it. Anyway, he was very sympathetic and took it as a debt to you to give you a week off as ‘sick pay’ on account of poor mental well-being. Mam and Paps know part of your situation as well and they can’t wait to have you over for Christmas Dinner; they were practically vibrating with excitement down the phone line when I rang them this morning.

You felt dumbfounded “I don’t know how to thank you enough Toya.”

Her hand moved back to the steering wheel, the surroundings becoming ever more familiar and comforting “You don’t have to thank me. Go and enjoy yourself for a bit.”

-------------------------------------------

It was a small parking bay at the edge of the village farm that you stopped at. you nervously shrugged off your seat belt and stood out in the warm air as everything washed over you. As calm as the nearby sea, it felt you had never really left, like you could just let the past few years fall from your memory.

“Do you need some alone time?” Toya murmured, standing in the distance like a silent spectator.

“Yeah..i think so. Is that alright?”

“You do what feels right, honey-bun, just meet me at the local bar if you feel a bit lonely.”

With a nod in her direction, she hugged the small of your waist and galloped off into the distance. You were left like a little stick figure in a vast, desolate space and it felt absolutely liberating. Just what would you do now?

Your feet, almost unknowingly, led you away from the small farm field and onto a narrow lane ahead of you. You were reminded that this was the lane you used to take to work, and the lane you would take home afterward; it was like the main passageway for all your old country escapades as a child. Although small, and sometimes tenebrous in the evening, it brought you many memories of daydreams you’d had walking after a long day, or all the little melodies you’d made up occupying your journey home after school. Today, the path was brightly lit in the early afternoon. your shoes felt light skidding across the dry gravel. You supposed you’d take this time alone to reminisce and re-live. Time didn’t have to be this constricting and bewildering thing - you could take its reigns and shape the next few hours alone how you wanted to.

Making your way along the bushes, you stopped at the first turning: the small rickety lane to the bakery. it spoke to you, and you stepped onto its stones, your toes curling in your shoes as you meandered up and down its bumpy body. It wasn’t long before you arrived at the small shop and its fields that stretched miles ahead. You thought it wouldn’t be a silly idea to pop in and grab something like a cheese roll to savour out on the grass in the thick heat. Almost skipping down the path, you made your way through the wooden doors of the bakery, hearing a distant bell chime of a new customer and immediately made your way to the cashier.

Before you knew it, you were walking over to a patch of empty field with a slightly soggy bag filled with two cheese rolls. Unfortunately, at the bakery, you didn’t recognize anyone. You had hoped that with the joy of its scenery, all of your old colleagues would still be there, including its most pretentious and unforgettable one, that guy you found it painful to say the name of.

But like life had made a new path for you to become a ‘city girl’, so it seems it had for the rest of your old friends at the store. Certainly life, in all its modern and progressive grandiose, didn’t wait for any poor kid to catch-up. You could definitely attest to that statement.

Your cheese roll tasted just as good as ever, its gooey innards melting onto your tongue, warming you up even more than before. You bit into its dough again and again, ravishing the flavour as if it were a particularly fond memory. Part of it really was a memory. Working at the bakery, you would eat these little guys all the time; biting into it really took you back to a time where you didn’t have to worry about the future or the scary word that was ‘responsibility’. Maybe downing this cheese so carelessly really would transport you back in time.

In the meantime, you just watched the clouds. Unlike back at your apartment, where the majority of cloud watching came from gluing yourself to a window on the fourth floor of a city skyscraper, this felt much more holistic, almost as if you could touch the clouds. The sky, free from pollution, was extremely vibrant, forming itself like a little dome encapsulating the village.

*rustle*

The sound of grass being trampled on disrupted you from your thinking. You turned back to locate the sound and spotted a figure in the distance. Mid-bite of your cheese roll, you swallowed thickly and attempted to identify the person. To your luck it was a boy: tall, dark hair..broad shoulders..

Shit..it was Jin

Immediately, you turned away, praying by some divine intervention that you would disappear into the blades of grass and become entirely invisible. Maybe if I lean forward a bit, or hide my hands in my jacket and let it swallow me i won’t be noticed. You were terrified that with every passing second your presence would become more clear to him and eventually you’d feel his breath upon your neck..

..Which is just what you so happened to feel after that thought dawned over you.

“Long time no see, y/n.” You felt a deep, sentimental voice speak from over your shoulder.

“Jin..hi.” You whispered, briefly turning to watch him sit next to you, palms and legs outstretched.

Jin, in two words, was devastatingly handsome. Among the green grass dunes, his white shirt and slack jeans were incredibly vibrant. His broad shoulders stretched his shirt, showing a defined caramel collarbone and his dark intimate eyes seemed to bore into yours. It was hard not to be completely transfixed by his presence. But you knew all too well why you hadn’t uttered his name in the past few years; why you hadn’t even thought of his name. Even Toya had said that leaving this beautiful countryside haven wasn’t the worst thing on your mind, it had been Jin all along.

You supposed it was time, in this confronting scenario, that you replayed the scene itself. It was November 2017, and you had stopped in these fields for the last time before leaving to the city. A backpack full of notepads and pencils shook as you hopped on the bumpy path toward the bakery. It was almost pitch black and your head had felt sore all day from thinking about all the things you’d had to leave behind. I’ll see you very soon old friend, don’t worry - you thought. But it felt easier just to say the words and not so easy to believe in them.

A dip in the hill is where you sat, and is where Jin joined you that night. Surprising you at first, you warmed to his shadow and ended up stargazing with him. You were sure hours and hours had passed before you found yourself opening the door to your home, legs slightly like jelly from the way butterflies flew around your stomach. It hurt leaving Jin even more than leaving your hometown because he was the person that encapsulated it all for you. It was almost like he was a product of everything you had ever loved and missed about your childhood and your home. Even lying with him for a few hours that night, you felt you had found the missing piece.

Of course all of this sounds wonderful and peachy, until you recount the promise he made to stay in touch. And, bam, that was the thing that had hurt you the most - like cupid’s arrow to the spleen - he had never contacted you since.

“Are you cloud watching? Can i join?”

“I guess..” You mumbled, shifting slightly to allow a space between you as you laid on the grass.

You felt his shoulder nudge yours as you sunk into the grass beneath you. Exhaling slightly, you begin to focus on the shapes of the soft white tufts above you, distracting yourself from Jin.

“I work at the bakery now. I always have lunch in these fields; nature is kind to me and what-not.” Jin said

“Right.”

“I guessed you were probably curious as to why you’d find me here..” He rocked gently on one side to face you more, his hair falling over his face. “What brings you here, fair maiden?”

You were reluctant to respond, your focus on the clouds becoming less and less possible “I have a job as a sales assistant, and a roommate to keep me company.”

“It sounds like you’ve really succeeded.” He responded, arms now splayed behind his head.

A silence fell over the field, and you felt ever more uncomfortable. This was your golden opportunity to confront Jin and attempt to clear the metaphorical air.

“Why are you acting like nothing happened Jin?” You waited for a response, but only seemed to hear from the wind as Jin’s eyes glazed over watching the clouds. “You do realize I haven't actually been succeeding all that much in life, right? Things were difficult the moment I left here and - I hate to say it - but you played a big part in that.”

“I’m sorry..”

What?..

“What?! You’re just sorry? Jin, you promised that you’d check on me, that we’d check on each other. I must have looked obsessive because I’d be messaging you every single week and to no reply. It wasn’t like that night was just a one-time thing..we both knew that.”

“I know that I just - I don't know what to say..” His stare was fraught on the sky now, never wavering toward you. The silence was apparent and becoming almost deafening as you attempted to ask him ‘why?’.

“You really just didn’t care did you?”

“I - “

You stumbled onto your feet for purchase, moving back from him “You don’t know how long I've wanted to talk to you and - god, i didn’t want it to be like this Jin..but I'm hurting.”

“I’m sorry, I'm struggling to explain myself. I’m not easy when it comes to these things but I didn't just ignore you, i swear.”

At this point you were deafened by silence and seeing a tinged red in your vision. Getting these emotions out was a rarity and everything had just poured out, leaving you almost devoid of feeling. What more could you say to him without making things even worse? You needed to be rational and the best way to do that was to walk away from the situation.

“I’m sorry - I just want to sort things out.” He pleaded again but to no avail. Sandwiched between clenched teeth you simply sighed before walking away, his broad figure wavering, so fragile and volatile. Walking away from Jin would stop him from breaking.

Continuing to remain as rational as possible, you made your way back through the tight-squeeze lane and toward the car park. There, in the opposite direction, would be a road that led to the local bar. There, you hoped you would find a sober Toya to spill your guts to about what had just happened.

-------------------------------------------

Your hopes came true; when you arrived at the lane leading to the small bar, there she was outside, a cigarette dangling from her lips. She looked surprised when she saw you stumble towards her, attempting to remain calm, but seeming to fail miserably. It wasn’t long before her cigarette butt was on the floor and she was pulling you into the building to get you a seat.

“What have you gone and done now? You’re meant to be enjoying yourself..” She sighed as she pulled out a bar stool for you and ordered a pint of sparkling water.

Before long, you had explained everything to her. You were less worried about how fast everything had come out of your mouth, and more relieved that you’d just opened up to someone close to you. Toya had sat still the entire time, silent and supportive. You could tell, behind her eyes, that she was surprised that you were being this honest with her - it was nice.

“Goodness y/n..i completely understand where you're coming from.” She tilted her glass toward her mouth, speaking in muffles “But I'm sure Jin didn’t mean it. I remember when we first moved in together and how eager you were to tell me about him. You don’t have to know someone for years to be able to pick out their core personality traits, and it's obvious that Jin was never good at expressing his true feelings.”

“But why couldn’t he just be honest with me; I thought I meant at least that much to him.”

“I think deep down you know the answer to that but you don’t want to face it. He’s almost exactly like you y/n, he has this barrier that keeps him from being hurt by others - deep down he’s a really sensitive and giving person..like yourself.”

She broke away from her drink to confront you directly, her eyes piercing yours like Jin’s had earlier. You froze slightly from her look, a feeling falling over you that suggested you’d messed up. Badly.

“I shouldn’t have been so brash, right? Ah, its painful because everything is so beautiful here, and i just wanted to enjoy it all before I was reminded that he existed. I’m sorry Toya.”

“It’s fine, honey-bun. You need to start enjoying yourself here, i see you want to so just let go. And while your at it, learn something you can take back to the city with you and hold close to your heart.”

“You’re right..”

“Not usually.” She laughed “Listen, I saw a poster earlier this afternoon advertising a beach barbecue later today. Do you want to go with me and we can let our hair down together?”

And there was that little weight that suddenly loosened itself “I would love that.”

-------------------------------------------

The sun had fallen down to the shore, and the sky was a caramel yellow by the time Toya and yourself had gotten down to the beach. Just by the incoming tide and a crop of trees was a large crowd of villagers, drinks in hand, dancing to a more relaxing beat of house music. You’d instantly been drawn to this interaction and found yourself - merely 30 minutes later - riding a high after two mixed drinks, buzzing from the bodies around you.

Although it was a more civilized kind of ‘party’, you’d always been prone to perhaps drinking too much for your own good and, at this point, you couldn't care any less. Looking to the side of you, Toya stood close, enjoying her drink. She kept her distance, allowing you to soak in the atmosphere, but remained near just in case you needed her. You liked that; she always seemed to be looking out for your best interests.

At this point, you were just following the rhythm of the bass. In your slightly blurred eyesight, the sky was dropping through a rainbow of colours, taking you through a trip in itself. Losing yourself in the airs iridescence, you could almost forget about the events of earlier today.

“Ladies and gents, were frying the food up now so get your stomachs ready for the best Christmas dinner of your life!” A male voice boomed from over the crowd, a small speaker in his hand to project his voice over the vast lines of people on the beach. You decided to edge closer to the barbecue grill so as not to miss out on the food when it was ready. Pushing past various strangers, politely apologizing, you smelt the aroma of sausages come into your nostrils.

It was then that you spotted Jin, standing behind the grill. On this hot day, he had unbuttoned his shirt and was wearing shorts, now conversing with the chef next to him. You swallowed thickly, not exactly feeling at your best to hold a proper conversation yourself, but feeling the overwhelming need to apologize to him.

In fact, that feeling seemed to completely take over any sense of direction you had, now forcing you to run over to him and sob a pleading ‘sorry’ into his bare chest. He seemed taken aback, pushing against you with some urgency to check you were okay, leaning down to confront you with his eyes. Through a now tear-stained and blurry vision you saw him as he clasped onto your shoulders as if they were magnets.

“Ah Jin i’m s-sorry, i’m so sorry i was such an idiot earlier and I..I don’t k-know if i can make things right.”

He chuckled, breaking you out of your dizziness for a second, “You’ve drunk a bit much haven’t you?”

“Shit..” You hiccuped “Maybe I have..”

“C’mon.” He took your hand, guiding you away from the crowd, “Let’s go somewhere more quiet so I can talk to you.”

-------------------------------------------

Jin had led you five minutes away from the crowd, behind the beach bush and onto a quieter sect of sand surrounded by palm trees. You both stopped, slightly short of breath and stood in silence, taking in the humid air. It was then you looked over to Jin and saw his head raised to the night sky. In the dark, his skin seemed almost luminescent, lit by the very stars above. His hair was tar black, his eyes twinkling. He was extraordinary, and you wondered - for a second - how on earth someone so ethereal could come from such a mundane place.

Above you, the stars glowed once again for another night. Your intoxicated state bubbled with fondness at the balls of light shining overhead. They were so pretty, and it was hard not to become nostalgic as you were reminded of the night you shared with Jin looking at these very same stars. It was almost like you were in the presence of your two favourite things: the night sky, and the man who reminded you of that very same sky. It made you feel even more euphoric than any cup of alcohol possibly could.

As you stood, almost floating with the evening buzz, you felt Jin clasp your hand. His warm fingers curled around yours. You gripped back just as tightly.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Jin said.

“Yeah..it really is.” You breathed “It’s almost like every one of my childhood memories sits in these stars.”

“I get that..”

“It makes me realize how much I miss being away from this beautiful clear sky.”

You wavered on your feet before turning to him. You felt his gaze follow from the stars to you, his breath beginning to settle on your cheek.

“I’m sorry for being pathetic at apologies y/n.” Jin spoke. “I didn’t explain myself earlier, and kind of just pushed the problem away. I shouldn’t have done that, it was an ‘idiot Jin’ move and i’m not an idiot..at least I don't think so.”

“If you’re an idiot, then i guess that makes two of us..”

“Well i don’t want to hide from you how I truly feel. And how I truly feel is..well i’m actually pretty sensitive. I don’t always know how to convey how i’m feeling and often I just bottle it up and use it on wasted energy. Sometimes it's easier not to open yourself up to people.”

Your hand melted into Jin’s, your stare softened “I guess that’s why you didn’t follow me to the city..”

“I wanted to..” He looked down at your feet, eyes not meeting yours “I swear, I would have gone that night if i could. But I - i just felt like a bit of a burden. Like, you wouldn’t want me there.”

“Of course i would you dummy!” You shook his hand, lifting his chin up “Why are you acting shy all of a sudden? I mean, Jin, you’re the king of cocky.”

“You know me too well, cupcake.”

“Cupcake?”

“Yeah..cupcake.” He tested the name out on his mouth as it neared yours “I like the way it sounds on my lips.”

“I like it too..”

“What the name?”

“No..” You mouthed “Your lips.”

Before you knew it, your faces closed the gap in the dark, and his mouth met yours. He was velvety, and soft, and hot. You didn’t want to sound crude, but you’d dreamt of this moment every night since meeting him. You didn’t expect everything to happen so fast once seeing him again, but you weren’t surprised. Since finding each other, almost like a movie, you found this huge spark; since separating you’d felt it everyday, this huge lack of him.

His arm laced around your waist, and he pulled you near to him, walking backwards to rest your back against a nearby tree. Jin pushed his lips harder against yours, your mouths moving in sync, your breathing growing heavier. He was quite intoxicating, the plush feel of him against you driving you crazy.

“I want to do something to make up for earlier. To make up for the past few years away from you.” He gasped, pulling back from the heated kiss, “Let me treat you, cupcake.”

It was then that he began to go down on your body. His lips first pressed against your neck, working against the bottom of your jaw and slowly moving onto your collarbone. He kissed each patch of exposed skin, his tongue swiping against your shoulder blade, making you keen into his touch. He worked inward, sucking tenderly, reaching a spot that made you whine against his neck.

“Ah..” You groaned, letting his mouth work wonders down your figure “This is what you meant..”

He hummed in response, now on his knees in order to move lower to your breasts. With a gentle flick he disregarded the strap of your shirt with his hands, letting your top sit on your waist. Noticing your absence of a bra, he smirked and cupped the swell of your tits with his hands, leaning to suck at your right nipple. His tongue lapped over your chest like a starved man, his other hand teasing your left breast, leaving you almost breathless.

“This is for the first year of our absence.” His words were muffled, and vibrated across your tits as he took your nipple into his mouth again. He sucked gently around your tit, moving his head from your chest with a wet, heated ‘pop’. He reached for your left breast with his mouth, his teeth now scraping against your soft flesh - a silent but raw need in the way he was touching your skin.

Before you could reach for another breath, Jin was moving even further down, his face now reaching a dangerous but starved territory. You mewled into the air, grasping at his silk locks “Jin we’re outside, we’re not far from a crowd full of people..”

“That’s what makes it exciting, cupcake.” He whispered, his voice now four octaves lower, more huskier than ever. Jin’s fingers raked down your hips, slowly resting above your ass, pulling you further into his touch. His hands skirted your shorts, slowly wiggling them down your thighs and to your ankles. You turned your head from him in embarrassment as your pants hit the floor, your legs clamping together like a vice. He gently pried them open, hissing at the sight of you glistening in the dark against the soft wooden bark of the tree behind you. Slowly looking down, you watched him from the hooded slits of your eyes, his lips beginning to press against your womanhood. Tongue now poking at your slit, you moaned as heat fully pooled in your stomach.

He smirked once again between your legs, fingers creeping down, reaching the flesh of your ass and squeezing it gently “This is for the second year of our absence.” He kissed your slit, tongue lapping you up like a meal, “Bon appetit!”

You could all but watch and respond in laboured breaths as he worked at your pussy, his tongue reaching deep inside you, fingers leaving marks against your thighs and backside. You’d never thought you could feel this close to Jin, but you were. He was world: the sky, the stars, your hometown, your Christmas. With his face buried into your heat, mouth working fast and rampant, you became more and more breathless, a knot now beginning to unravel in your stomach.

“Oh Jin..I’m c-close.” Your eyes glistened, mouth scrunching with pleasure as you watched Jin in the depths of your pleasure. He looked up at you, pupils blown out, hair sweaty, and that was all it took for you to be blown over the edge. For what felt like a minute, the sky became a dazzling black, and your body swelled with electricity. In that moment, he worked even faster, even more eager to draw ropes of pleasure from you. You groaned wildly, back pressing against the cold bark as your orgasm peaked, leaving you completely spent.

In an attempt to conserve what little energy you had left in you, you let yourself fall to the sand, back sliding down the tree to lay among the dunes. It wasn’t long before Jin joined you, already on his knees. He moved to your side and wrapped his arm around your back to bring you against his chest. He was warmer than ever and seemed to bubble with energy. It was then you knew you didn’t have to say anything, you could just lay together now, lay like you did the first time you met and it would be fine. So that’s what you did. You snuggled against his chest, letting your eyes fall shut, falling into the night.

-------------------------------------------

“y/n..”

“y/n wake up..”

“y/n..”

“WAKE UP!”

You almost leapt out of your skin at the sound of what seemed seemed to be Toya shouting in your ear. All noise slightly muffled, you rose to your feet, taking in the scenery around you.

You were in a room, cream walls and a cream rug and what appeared to be a kitchen ahead of you. As you turned, you spotted a Christmas tree too, a Christmas Tree with all sorts of odd decorations littered over it. It took you a second, but before long it seemed scarily obvious..you were back home and in your front room with your roommate. How?..

“C’mon sleepy head, I've been trying to wake you up for ages.” Toya laughed, tugging you toward the tree.

“Ah, what?” You yawned, scrambling to your knees to meet Toya on the floor and gasp at all the presents lying underneath the tree.

“Your so forgetful. It’s Christmas!” She pulled a few presents from the tree and moved them toward you, grinning like a fool. “Open them honey-bun.”

You spent the rest of that morning (or was it the evening?) filing through presents. It felt like hours before you stopped, shocked at what Toya and your family had gifted you. You tried to dismiss what felt like a strange lapse in time since Jin and the beach, and slowly began to relax into the festive spirit. You finally came to your last present, toying with the bow like a soppy child, upset that the gifts had eventually came to an end. With reluctance, you lifted the lid and pushed the tissue paper aside to reveal a small box. Lifting its casing, you removed its top and watched as the present inside was slowly revealed to you.

It was a beautiful silver necklace, ribbed and laced with gold embellishments. You twisted it around and swallowed as you were met with a small star trinket dangling from its centre. Who was this from, it had no label?

“Where’s the label?” You asked, turning to Toya for solace.

“Pull out all the tissue in the box, it might be at the bottom, i’m not sure.”

You leant over the box, pulling it back to you so you could remove all its packaging. It was only in the last thread of tissue, that the label was wedged. Pulling it out, you turned it over to read its addressee..

It read:

‘Merry Christmas Cupcake.

From your Star,

J x’

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