#nickleback is actually good

[ratbastarddotfuck]

I've realised the unfortunate reality that I've never been able to make a playlist that captures my teen years because I haven't been able to admit that my tastes were a little cringe a decade ago. Alas cringe culture comes for us all i suppose.

[vaginadentatacas]

i know it doesn’t fit the show at all but i think it would be funny if demons automatically liked bad things. like if all demons by their very nature loved super shitty soundcloud artists and garbage facebook opinions and sonic inflation art. that’d be so funny

[bruciemilf]

which do you like for Jaime/Jason better, gunbug or redbeetle? i saw redbeetle’s also used for Jaime/Tim

GUNBUG?! CUTE.

genuinely I think Jaime would be the golden retriever boyfriend, but like. Cleansed from the tik tok connotation.

He brings Jason beat up, janky books from his local bookstore.

The ones with the wrinkles and the paper cracks and just the softest layer of dust on them. And handmade socks, and cool pens neither of them need, but just really want.

He sends Jay snaps of cats following him around, small videos that always, always, always start with “papi watch this” or “BABE you’re not gonna believe this—“and it’s literally just dogs doing mildly impressive jumps.

Jason loves them so much.

But I’m more interested in the pre relationship. Like.

Imagine you’re Two-Face, infamous Gotham mobster, who’s considered more dangerous for sleeping with Wayne than your actual crimes (we all know Batman likes the rich brat, after all) and Red Hood clears his throat one meeting.

“Dent,” Jason has the same fake, forced deep voice he used as Robin, when he tried intimidating others. Harvey wonders if he knows, and prays he doesn’t. “A word. “

“Listen, kid, I’ve already agreed on the 20% turf cut, which is BULLSHIT, by the way, —“

“It’s NOT bullshit, and you’ll see why, but that’s not why I wanna talk. Just. Uh,” the kid is nervous. You can smell it off him. “You’re, like…Good with romance. And stuff. Right?”

“…Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

Harvey rushes into his car, Bruce in SPEED dial,

“Baby, listen— I— yeah, shitface, I’m aware this is an emergency line, this IS a fuckin’ emergency. NO, I didn’t fist fight Selina again, I ain’t risking my skin for your pair of heels, — LISTEN. Code Cupid. YEAH!”

A beat.

“I didn’t think this day would come either! The kid listened to Nickleback, for fuck’s sake… I don’t know, I didn’t ask! Don’t embarrass him- Bruce, he’s a goddam drug lord, he embarrassed himself plenty. ‘Just for a bit’ — are you hearing yourself—“

Two beats.

“…Yeah. No yeah, — okay. Alright. Alright, babe. Yeah, whatever you want, sorry. I SAID ALRIGHT - okay, yeah. Love you too, fuckface, Huh? Uh, can’t hear. See you home.”

Now he just has to figure out how to drag Jason to the Wayne mansion without revealing they ALL know he’s been red hood since he started.

[beloveddawn-blog]

Nine people to get to know

Thanks to @leahnardo-da-veggie for tagging me! I did this a bit ago, but have no trouble doing it again!

Last song: San Quentin by Nickleback. I know there was at least one other song on after that on the drive home, but that was what I had turned up.

Favourite Colour: red, bright and bold. It washes me out badly though, so blue or purple for wearing

Currently watching: still Sailor Moon R. We're out of the Doom Tree arc, but life has been kicking mine and coffeeangelinabox's asses and we haven't been consistent with the actual watching of things on movie night

Favourite flavour: pistachio or saskatoon

Current Obsession: pokemon. I bought Sword secondhand when my neices decided they were into it (I got them Sheild for Christmas) and now I'm at the point where I'm hassling my sister about them getting leveled up so I can get those goddamn exclusives and complete my pokedex.

Last thing I googled: Avril Lavigne's age when her career started

Favourite season: fall. I love the way leaves crunch, and I can wear my collection of awesome hoodies/light jackets everywhere. Mostly though by the time a season changes I'm bored of it anyway and am looking forward to the next.

Skill I'd like to learn: Sewing or art. I can do basics of both, but I'd like to get good at them. That, however, entirely depends on time and I usually don't prioritize them enough for that.

Best Advice: Please and Thank you for everything. My Dad gave me a great object lesson in this by being a petty-ass jerk to a rude and entitled student and the college he worked at, and it's served me well. I'm a crew lead at my own job and I cannot overemphasize the difference it makes in my team when I thank them earnestly for doing the things they're supposed to do anyway. They work harder, look for ways to help, and are generally much more chill and happier when they feel valued.

If I tagged you last time, sorry. If I haven't tagged you at all but you want to play, sorry for that too and feel free to join in! @slimylittlemaggot @messy-jaxx @mitchell-nihil @poetinlovewithflowersonhisgrave @stesierra @squarebracket-trickster @minnieposting @artistvicky @mageofcolors

[fandomshifter]

Tim Wright & Brian Thomas in my AU

[ I know about Marble Hornets and both Tim and Brian are not proxies but in my AU + DR they are!! ]

Tim Wright!!

He owns a red truck that he stole from one of his victims when he first became a proxie

Him and Brian are dating and have been together for a few years

Tim has a strong accent when he gets angry and a lot of people can't take him seriously because of it

He has a CD collection from all different types of music but mainly what I would class as divorced dad music so; Linkin Park, Nickleback, AC/DC, Foo fighters Etc..

He can play a banjo and guitar and was in a band in college with a few of his old friends

Still has gaps in his memory from Marble Hornets and watching it is banned in the mansion, Both Brian and Tim are not allowed to access it

His room is the closest to “The Slendermans” office since he has been in contact with Slenderman for the longest out of anyone in the mansion.

Has a massive obsession with lip balm and has a stash inside one of his draws in his room

Was an Emo in his teen years and still sometimes endulges in some of the songs but not the fashion since he says ‘he's too old to dress like that’

Still has to take meds and regular mental check ups with EJ which made them have a close bond which not a lot of people know about

Brian Thomas!!

Is actually the head proxie, not Tim like a lot of people would think. He's more strategic with how he does thing such as stalking and killing victims.

Also wanted to be in a band in college so he learned how to play guitar aswell and can sing decently

Rides a motorbike and has a van that he both stole. He won't let anyone touch his motorbike and only Tim or a responsible Creep can use the van [ so not Jeff at all ].

Was the first person to be made a proxie, but has had a shorter connection with slenderman than Tim. He was made a proxie first because he was more compliant.

His music taste consists of metal and lots of it, like any genere of metal. [ I'm not much if a metal fan but you can say in the comments any specifics if you want ]

His bedroom is the cleanest in the house because he doesn't like mess in his room and many people come into his room for favours and doesn't want to seem like a messy, unkempt person. [ He cares about people view him ]

He has many scars on his face from old piercings he had in his youth, the only open piercings he has is his Lobe piercings, which he occasionally wears ear rings in.

Alot of people in the mansion look up to him and his leadership skills. He is very good at what he does and due to his reputation he always has to be better than everyone, it gave him an ego.

He loves cooking food and usually will be in the kitchen baking or cooking stress away, he never could because he was always on the move but now he found a love for it.

He was a pot head in his college days and occasionally still smokes it but usually late at night when everyone is asleep, he climbs up to the roof and looks at the stars while smoking.

MASKY & HOODIE

I don't know enough information to represent DID realistically, and I still think after doing research I would still get it wrong and I don't want to upset anyone!!

So I decided Masky & Hoodie are parts of the operator, the mark [ ⦻ ] given to a proxie makes it easier for Slenderman to use your body for his biding, like a possession. He hates getting his hands dirty so he does it through his proxies bodies. However that's a last resort since it has very bad side effects for humans.

They use the names, Hoodie & Masky when doing missions because they want to separate themselves for what they are doing. So usually it's just Tim and Brian doing the missions but if they refuse, slenderman WILL make you do it.

[ Hope this all makes sense and you enjoyed reading them!! Don't forget to ask for the discord server link and Ask for me to write something!! ]

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

For April Fool’s 2024, I decided to do a bit inspired by Todd in the Shadows called Ford Analyzes Tunes And Song Stuff, or FATASS for short (a little nod to how Todd’s moniker can be shortened to TITS). Basically people would send me a song, and I would give some wacky analysis or review of the song that was probably the opposite of my actual, genuine opinion. For example, for Nickleback’s “Photoraph,” I claimed the entire song was actually a bittersweet gay romance. It was a fun exercise in crafting absurdity from even the most mundane or stupid lyrics. But it did leave me wanting to review a song for real… and what better than one of my favorite songs of all time?

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that need no introduction, but I’ll do it in case some of you out there don’t listen to good music and/or hate California: RHCP is a funk/alternative rock band formed in 1982, though they didn’t really cement their status as one of the best bands around until their release of the alt rock classic Blood Sugar Sex Magik in 1991, an album that produced the personal and powerful “Under the Bridge,” the hard rocking “Suck My Kiss,” and the all-time banger “Give It Away.” It’s a fantastic album, one of the most influential of its time, and many regard it as RHCP’s best work—including the band’s bassist, Flea. I’m certainly inclined to agree; it’s a nice middle ground between their heavily funk-influenced early work and their later more radio-friendly rock tunes. Don’t get the wrong idea here—they were, and still are, a very good band—but I think in my opinion the 90s were the decade where they really stood out from the crowd as trailblazers in the rock scene.

With that out of the way, it’s time to single out my absolute favorite song on the album to talk about: An eight minute long track titled “Sir Psycho Sexy.” With a title like that and an impressive length to match, you know you’re in for something bonkers, and I’d say the song delivers in spades; it’s a funky rap rock epic that is hornier than almost any song before or since. The rizz the titular Sir Psycho Sexy of the song displays is beyond that of any mortal man, and it is simply glorious. This song is also a song that inspired one of my Ocs—Flynn Dangerfield from the Rhine City series my wife and I are working on. If you’re unfamiliar with the character (and you shouldn’t be, the rough drafts for the story are pinned at the top of my blog), this is like if Alex Hirsch said Dipper and Mable were actually inspired by Flowers in the Attic.

If you don’t believe me, then read on as I riff on one of my favorite songs and showcase the brilliant lyrical insanity of a 90s rock band that was likely high as a kite while writing this. Also, this is your warning: These lyrics are insanely NSFW. This isn’t nearly as bad as the last song I riffed on, “Pregnant Pussy,” but it’s up there. You’ve been warned.

So this song is sort of a story, and every story has a main character. And what a character we have here; Sir Psycho Sexy is his name, and getting pussy is his game. How does one introduce such a man?

A long, long, long, long time ago Before the wind, before the snow Lived a man, lived a man I know Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Not a bad way to start things. Lead singer Anthony Kiedis really sets up Sir Psycho as some ancient, powerful force of nature, a being who has existed as long as there were babes to fuck and who is so eternal he was there before wind or snow. Mind you, this is before we get into all of his insane sexual feats and astounding prowess with the ladies, so we have the coolest guy in the universe right here. Let’s see what else there is to say about him:

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me Sometimes I find I need to scream

Oh. Ok then. So Anthony Kiedis is Sir Psycho Sexy. This is either self-insert Mary Sue fanfiction, or it’s an autobiographical tale describing things that actually happened. Let’s be super duper charitable and call it the latter. At any rate, the fact he just likes to scream sometimes is universally relatable.

Still, you may not be convinced how good the song is from this opener, as it can come off as blatant wish fulfillment fantasy. Thankfully, the second verse opens with the greatest lyrics ever written by a human hand:

Deep inside the garden of Eden Standing there with my hard on bleedin' There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen Good God no that would be treason

This is absolutely blasphemous, disgusting, degenerate, explicit, and one of the funniest fucking set of lyrics to ever be in a song. “There’s a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen” is not a phrase you hear every day, and it certainly won’t leave your head after you hear it. And don’t worry; things only get better from here!

Believe me Eve she gave good reason Booty looking too good not to be squeezin' Creamy beaver hotter than a fever I'm a givin' 'cause she's the receiver I won't and I don't hang up until I please her Makin' her feel like an over achiever I take it away for a minute just to tease her Then I give it back a little bit deeper

So I don’t know what could be expected, but Sir Psycho plowing the Biblical Eve is probably not the sort of thing you could imagine when first popping in to listen to this song. When you take into account his ancient nature from the first verse and the fact he’s got his boner dripping blood in Eden in the first few lines of verse two, this is really the only logical next step though. The real question here is, is Sir Psycho supposed to be Adam, or has Sir Psycho tied up Adam to watch as he busts in Eve more times than should be humanly possible? If he’s “Makin’ her feel like an over achiever,” I’ve gotta imagine he’s not stopping after round one, two, or even three. I do like the detail that Sir Psycho won’t give up until he pleases her; it’s very cool and considerate that he cares enough about his lover to ensure her satisfaction too.

I got stopped by a lady cop In my automobile She said get out and spead your legs And then she tried to cop a feel

Verse three begins with an extremely sad case of police brutality and sexual assault. Poor Sir Psycho was just driving along, minding his own business, when he’s pulled over for no crime whatsoever; the cop just wanted to fondle him. These lyrics really say a lot about our society, and the state of the police force in America when even gorgeous immortal studs aren’t safe from the pigs.

That cop she was all dressed in blue Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you She stuck my butt with her big black stick I said, "What's up?" now suck my dick

Some interesting tidbits of information here: Sir Psycho enjoys being pegged, and he has a death wish. What kind of absolute madman says that to a cop that has them at his mercy? Does he really think he can turn the tab--

Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand On her crotch so very warm I could feel her getting wet through her uniform Proppin' her up on the black and white Unzipped and slipped, "Ooh, that's tight" I swatted her like no swat team can Turned a cherry pie right into jam

Are we sure this man is Anthony Kiedis and not British Prime Minister David Cameron? Cuz he sure does like fucking pigs! Sir Psycho, with his ancient pornomancy powers, takes “fuck the police” to a whole new level, completely turning around whatever situation he’d gotten himself into.

And now we get a shift in the instrumentation, and the lyrics kind of mellow out and almost feel a little romantic(at least in a 90s funk rock way):

Hello young woman that I love Pretty punk rock mama that I'm thinking of Hold me naked if you will In your arms in your legs in your pussy I'd kill To be with you, to kiss with you, I do miss you I love you Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Descending waves of graceful pleasure For your love there is no measure Her curves they bend with subtle splendor

This part genuinely feels so tender and, while it is extremely horny, Sir Psycho seems especially reverent of this woman, this amazing “punk rock mama.” I kind of think this segment pulls the entire song together, giving us a brief respite from the more overt sexuality and into something that genuinely sounds sweet, albeit in a decidedly horny sort of way.

Of course, we soon get back to Sir Psycho’s usual escapades in the final verse:

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the funk will make me freak If I should die before I waked Allow me Lord to rock out naked

And after this, we get kinky before wrapping up this song and heading to an extended instrumental outro:

Bored by the ordinary time to take a trip Calling up a little girl with a bull whip Lickety split go snap, snap Girl gettin' off all in my lap The tallest tree the sweetest sap Blowin' my ass right off the map Ooh and it's nice out here I think I'll stay for a while

So full disclosure, this really, genuinely is one of my favorite songs of all time, and perhaps my favorite RHCP song. It’s so audacious, in-your-face, and unabashedly horny, and in a day and age when people seem hellbent on removing sex from art, it’s nice to go back to a simpler, sluttier time and jam out. Is the length a bit excessive? Sure, probably, but length like this is all Sir Psycho is capable of.

The song is honestly not too dissimilar from the last song I reviewed, “Pregnant Pussy” by UGK… at least in terms of audacity. Where that song was trying to be as disgusting and depraved as possible to get a reaction from the listener, essentially being the nastiest troll song you’ll ever here, this song is just very upfront with its sheer horniness. It only barely eases you in, with the opening leading right into blasphemous boasting and dick blood, and it just never stops. It slows down a bit in a couple parts, but overall it really is just an unrelenting force. The song’s length isn’t something you ever really feel, because it just goes from one dirty lyric to the next.

But I think the most important thing the song does is remind us we all have a little Sir Psycho Sexy inside us, and we all have been standing the garden of Eden with our hard on’s bleeding while there were devils in our dick and demons in our semen. Maybe the real dick devils were the friends we made along the way.

[ourpickwickclub]

I think Blake will stay in LA with Gwen before heading to his show on Wednesday

If she has ND rehearsals, I think he will. I would LOVE if he was at them. Throw shade at her in front of Blake and watch him go from teddy bear to two-hit Shelton or whatever that nickleback guy called him. We always heard rumors that he decked Ryan Westbrook side stage once also… with very good reason.

I’m kidding about fighting, actually. I don’t think the ND guys are ballsy enough to treat her shady in front of Blake, or tough enough to fight, and Blake isn’t that type either 99.9% of the time, but I do think Blake would lose it if he ever saw Gwen treated badly.

- B

[im-just-a-mississippi-girl]

Been Far Away, For Far Too Long

Pairing: El Phantasmo x female!reader

Category: Fluff

Word count: 4,204

Summary: Working in a separate company than your boyfriend is difficult. A long distance relationship is had work, but it’s all worth it when you’re finally reunited after several months apart.

Warnings: Swearing

Requested by: anon — I hope you enjoy it! ❤️

A/N: I know what you’re probably thinking: Did she just use a Nickleback lyric for a title? The answer is yes! I love Nickleback and Far Away hit me as I wrote this so here we are, and here’s the song below!

You can find the original request here!

Part 2

Masterlist

Taglist

Gif is not mine. Credit to owner

It had been a little over six months since the Forbidden Door pay per view, the last time you had seen your boyfriend, Riley better known as El Phantasmo, in person. You were thrilled when the announcement was made that All Elite Wrestling was going to be collaborating with New Japan Pro Wrestling. You didn’t know who all would be participating from NJPW at the time of the announcement, but you hoped that El Phantasmo would be selected for the pay per view. You missed him like crazy, not being able to see each other everyday anymore was killing you.

Before you arrived in AEW, you were putting in the work in Japan with Stardom and making appearances as well as exhibition matches and even title matches in NJPW. Your first time there you had run into a variety of the New Japan guys from Hiroshi Tanahashi to Kota Ibushi, and some of the factions from Los Ingobernables de Japón to Chaos. You were feeling pretty good about working a New Japan show until Bullet Club circled you. You knew about Bullet Club, you had actually met the OGs leaving the dojo all those years ago, and the feeling of danger and the don’t-mess-with-me attitude stuck with you.

You remember looking around you at all the faces, most were familiar except for a few, and one of those few caught your eye. He didn’t give you the exact same vibes as the others did, it was something different but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. You watched as Jay White approached you, only zoning out after the first couple sentences left his mouth because the man, you later learned was called El Phantasmo, had your attention. You studied his face and body language, he wasn’t too thrilled Jay was flirting with you or standing so close to you. When he noticed you were looking at him he gave you a smirk and wink before anyone could notice. That’s when you felt your heart flutter. After BC finally left you alone, you couldn’t stop thinking of El Phantasmo.

Each time you were on a NJPW show you always ended up running into Bullet Club. You and Riley would exchange glances in secret, not knowing how the rest of the club would feel, mostly Jay since he would make an effort to flirt with you when your paths crossed. Honestly, you kind of felt bad that he didn’t get the hint you weren’t interested, it just caused you to come out and say it one day.

Once you had told Jay you were interested in someone else, you saw Riley’s face light up, not only at your words but at the wink you shot him. He was quick to recover before Jay could catch his reaction. Your confession left Jay baffled. Who turns down Switchblade Jay White?

You and Riley had gotten close and had been out on several dates as time went on, eventually making it official. You’ll never forget the look on Jay’s face when he saw you and Riley walk in hand in hand, the man was speechless for once. Riley announced to the club that you two had been seeing each other for the past month and that you agreed to be his girlfriend. The club was happy for Riley, and after congratulations were over, everyone looked at Jay who had an unreadable expression but finally smirked saying, “If you ever break up, you know where to find me.”

Fast forward to the day AEW reached out with a letter expressing their interest in you. You were shocked because you still had another year left on your contract with Stardom and NJPW. Over the years, you had become an asset to Bullet Club, always being ringside for Bullet Club’s Cutest Tag Team, and ensuring they always win. You ended up becoming a member of BC not long after you started dating Riley. Jay was quick to notice not only what an outstanding wrestler you were but how valuable you would be for the club. Their hidden weapon, a pretty poison if you will.

You showed Riley the letter the moment it came. Tony Kahn had laid it all out for you, it was a good deal, a great one actually. Tony had written about how some fellow wrestlers recommended you when he mentioned he wanted to add one more woman to the division, and upon reviewing your matches, promos, and interviews, he agreed with those people — you were without a shadow of a doubt all elite. Thankfully, you didn’t have to give an answer right away and could think about what you wanted to do — accept or reject the offer. This gave you plenty of time to talk it over with Riley. You respected and valued his opinion, but not only that, this was a big decision that affected the both of you and your relationship.

The conversation took place over the span of a week. The discussion consisted of arguments, more than you cared to count. Near the end of the week, you and Riley finally decided to sit down and write it all out, the pros and cons, the concerns and worries. Once the lists were made and concerns were voiced and with the help of your boyfriend you finally had your decision — you were going to accept the offer and join AEW.

Riley knew this would be a good move for you and you would benefit from venturing into the states. He just hated to see you leave, wanting to be selfish and keep you in Japan with him, the place where you two met, where you two live together, and where you two work together. He knew his thoughts and feelings on the matter impacted your decision and the arguments prior showed that when you told him, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t go. Japan has become my home, my home with you, and maybe leaving for some might-not-be-fulfilled promises is a waste of time.”

Hearing those words leave your lips was his wake up call, you sounded excited at first when the offer was made, but after the arguments with him, he heard how you sounded defeated, especially when he saw your face fall when he said, “AEW probably isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I mean look at who works there.” Needless to say, he felt like shit seeing his words have that effect on you.

Once the decision was made, you were going to tell Bullet Club about the offer, and how you thought about it, and that you and Riley talked it over, finally reaching the agreement to accept. You were nervous about telling the club, you didn’t want them to to be mad at you, hate you, or kick you out because you were leaving. Riley knew exactly how to tell if you’re nervous and anxious about things. He watched you constantly wring your hands, he saw you biting your lip, how you just couldn’t sit still and your leg bouncing rapidly. Riley hated seeing you like that so he softly placed a comforting hand on your ever bouncing leg. “It’s all going to be fine, I’ll be right there beside you. They’ll be happy for you. Sure, they’ll hate to see you leave Japan but I don’t think they’ll hate you for it.” Riley comforted, removing his hand from your leg and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into a much needed tight hug.

Riley was right. The guys were happy for you and this opportunity given to you, but obviously they hated to see you leave. They all assured you that you would always be Bullet Club regardless where you worked. Those words were confirmed when Jay agreed, adding that you would always be their pretty poison. It meant the world to you hearing the guys rally behind you and support you, especially since Jay was letting you stay in BC. You had grown to love those men and ended up being close — practically sisters — with Pieter. You’d miss her and hated leaving her alone with guys, but you knew she could handle them and if not, you would catch the first flight out to put them in their place.

When the day came for you to leave, you were a wreck, constantly crying and saying you changed your mind, that you wanted to stay. Riley would just silently pull you into a hug, rubbing your back the entire time while you clung onto him, soaking his shirt with your tears. You knew back when you made the decision to leave that you would be sad and what not, but you didn’t realize just how hard leaving everyone and everything would hit you. Luckily, you had been packed and ready for the past two days, quadruple checking your checklist of clothes, necessities, and other items. You remember like it was yesterday when you went to go over your checklist for the ‘billionth time’ as Riley had put it, you noticed Riley had snuck in a couple of his shirts and a hoodie, along with a bottle of his cologne. That was what started the waterworks. That one little gesture made your heart swell and made you wish he was coming with you.

As the day went on, you tried not to continuously cry your eyes out, sniffling and wiping your eyes to the point they were raw. Riley would make sure to be within arms reach in case you needed him, which you did — a lot. He tried to be strong for you, both of you crying would make things more difficult. “I’m always a call, text, and FaceTime away whenever you need or miss me. Day or night, I don’t care about the time zone difference. You’re my world babe, and no amount of distance will ever change that.” He reminds you as he pulls you into a kiss that made you weak in the knees from the passion. You knew where this kiss would lead — the same place it always did — the bedroom. You were correct as Riley’s hands roamed your body and began discarding your clothes, you doing the same to him. Before long the pair of you were a tangled mess in the sheets.

You ended up being thirty minutes late to the airport thanks to the sexy time you and your boyfriend had causing you both to lose track of time. Thankfully, your flight was delayed an hour due to some reason you didn’t care about because this meant you wouldn’t miss your flight and you also got to spend one more hour with your love. Or so you thought. You heard a group yelling and shouting at you from behind. Turning around you see all of Bullet Club rushing up to you, Pieter was the first to give you a massive hug thanks to her elbowing her way through the crowd of men. One by one they all gave you a hug and told you they’d miss you and wished you the best as well to call or text them. The sweetness was making you turn into a puddle of tears. You promised the men you call them and you promised Pieter you’d FaceTime her every day to tell her about your new adventure and her to tell you all about the chaotic schemes the guys come up with.

Shortly after that, it was time for you to board your plane. You took a deep shaky breath and opened your mouth to tell them bye when you were tackled into a massive group hug. You honestly wished the hug lasted longer, it felt like home because these devious little shits were your family.

You felt Riley pull you into a tight hug followed by one last passionate and loving kiss before you inevitably had to leave. “I love you. Call me when you land so I know you made it safely.” He sniffles, wiping away the tears that slid down his cheeks.

You nodded, quickly wiping your tears away as well. “I love you too. I— I have to go.” You whispered, not trusting your voice and knowing you wouldn’t be able to stop the tears. Riley gave your hand a final squeeze before letting you go and watching you board your plane.

That was the last time you saw your boyfriend in person. You talked to him every chance you got and he did the same. More often that not, the preferred method of communication was FaceTime. It made you both feel better seeing one another’s face, attempting to make it feel like you were still in close proximity to each other.

It was maybe five months after you joined AEW that the announcement was made for Forbidden Door, and you were excited, hoping that El Phantasmo would be on the show. Come to find out, he was and you were thrilled. You were finally going to see him in person again. The lead up to the pay per view went by slow in your eyes. You were so ready for it to be June 26th.

You didn’t have a match at Forbidden Door but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t be on the show. You were going out there like you used to back in NJPW — valeting Bullet Club, more specifically, your boyfriend. You thought you were thrilled before, now you were ecstatic. You had learned over the months that BC was going to be represented in a few different matches. El Phantasmo was teaming with The Young Bucks with you and Hikuleo ringside, and Jay would be defending his IWGP World Heavyweight Championship.

You remembered when Jay ventured over to AEW, you were happy to see him again, happy to fill him in on everything he needed to know about two of his three opponents for the pay per view — Adam Cole and Hangman Adam Page.

It was clear real quick that people knew where your allegiance fell, you were still a full fledged member of Bullet Club for crying out loud, and everyone knew, granted you never let them forget. Which is why Adam Cole was always trying to talk to you and talk you into some good deals if you stuck with him because, as he reminded you, Bullet Club is for life. At first you didn’t want to deal with him, but this little idea popped into your head. Everyone already knows my loyalties lie with the club, and Cole is so delusional that his little plan will work to get in Jay’s head, maybe I should have some fun with this. Poor Bay Bay won’t see this coming. That’s when you cooked up the idea to spy on Cole, to get him to trust you because you knew he didn’t know you as well as he thought. You knew the look on his face at the end of it all would be too sweet.

Your plan worked flawlessly as you relayed all the information over to Jay, the two of you coming up with how to reveal to Adam that he can’t outsmart the Switchblade as well as reveal that you were the X factor in all of it if he couldn’t put the pieces together himself. In time, all was revealed to Adam and the world just exactly what’s been going on. The look on Adam’s face was, indeed, too sweet.

All this was the buildup to Forbidden Door and that meant that you would be reunited with Riley soon. There’s not enough words to describe how happy you were. You stayed to yourself after the last Dynamite, ignoring all the chatter and rumors swirling about you and who knows what else. You didn’t mind it one bit, all you cared about was seeing your boyfriend.

The day Forbidden Door arrived was as chaotic like you had expected, the hustle and bustle of the crew and wrestlers were a big indicator. You kept your phone glued to your hand, impatiently waiting for Riley to call you, he told you he would call when he was on his way to the arena. Just when you were about to call him, hands covered your eyes and you were about to whip around and start wailing on the poor soul until you heard that familiar voice. “Guess who?!” Riley jokingly asked.

You wanted to be mad at him for not calling you, but you liked this surprise. Turning around to finally come face to face with him after all these months apart was unlike any feeling you’d ever felt. You couldn’t help but cry, and you didn’t care who saw. Riley pulled you into the same tight hug he gave you on the day you left. He pulled away after what felt like hours and wiped away your falling tears that you didn’t realize were there. You couldn’t wait any longer and pulled him into a passionate kiss that left the both of you breathless.

It wasn’t until Hikuleo coughed that alerted you he had been there the whole time as well as a smirking Jay. You just shook your head at Jay as he headed down the hall towards his private locker room. You and Riley followed after him, hand in hand, not caring what looks you received as you passed by your coworkers.

Time came for Riley’s match and you accompanied him to the ring as his music played, the two of you sharing a kiss once inside the ring. Once the match was about to get underway, you slipped out of the ring and joined Hikuleo on the floor, ready to assist as needed while keeping an eye on Himoru who was on the floor across from you.

You did everything you could like always to ensure that El Phantasmo would win, but unfortunately, no matter what you did it wasn’t enough, resulting in a loss for your team. You were bummed about it but Riley draping his arm over your shoulders is what lifted your spirits. He was there with you, and the two of you were going to make up for lost time.

Typically you’d go out and have a drink or two at the nearest bar before going to the hotel to call Riley, but tonight Riley was there with you. The pair of you turned down Jay and Hikuleo’s invitation for drinks, wanting to spend as much time together as possible before he had to leave.

At the hotel, you led Riley to your room and no sooner than you were in the door, his lips were on yours. You missed the way his lips felt, the way they tasted. The kiss was full of love and lust. You instantly returned the kiss, fingers running through his hair as he hands glided down your back and to you ass. You jumped when you felt him give your ass a squeeze followed by a firm slap. You missed this, his playfulness all while being incredibly sexy.

You reluctantly pulled away from his intoxicating lips, taking his hand and leading him farther into the room, giving him a sultry smile as you did so. You gently pushed him onto the bed and kissed him like your life depended on it. Riley wanted this just as bad you, pulling urgently at your clothes then his own. It wasn’t long before the two of you were once again tangled up in the sheets.

The next morning Riley awoke before you, tracing feather light circles on your arm as he admired your beautiful sleeping form. He had never felt like this before, and sometimes — a lot of the time — it scared him. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was supposed do now that there was this long distance between you and him. He loved you and would always fight for you, he didn’t have a doubt about that. He just didn’t know what the next step was with your relationship, he never pictured himself settling down until you graced him with your presence those few years ago. Now he thought a lot about marrying you, he was still undecided on kids though. He never saw himself as a dad either but who knows, after you’ve changed his mind on settling down he knew you could change his mind on anything.

Slowly opening your eyes, you instinctively moved closer to your boyfriend, you didn’t want any amount of space between you two. You adjusted your body so you could lay your head on chest and drape you arm across his stomach. “I was afraid yesterday and last night was all just a cruel dream.” You admitted quietly, snuggling further into his chest. “I’m glad it wasn’t. I missed you more than you can fathom.” You confessed. You felt Riley’s arms tighten around your body and place a kiss to the crown of your head.

“I was afraid of that too, babe. I missed you so much the guys threatened to tape my mouth shut.” He laughed. Oh how you missed that laugh, it was music to your ears. “I never wanna leave this bed.”

You were quick to prop up on your elbow, eyes wide. “Did you just quote Maroon 5?!” You asked in shock, curious if your ears deceived you.

“I did and I hate it.” He sighed, never one to care for pop music despite you enjoying it amongst other genres, some he liked and others he didn’t. You couldn’t help but laugh at his disgusted expression.

You went to get up but Riley pulled you back down. “And where do you think you’re going?” He asks, wanting you to stay in bed with him.

“Bathroom. And to get dressed, I’m hungry.” You stated, once again trying to get out of the bed. This time Riley let’s you go.

“I already got my eye on dessert!” He called after you, admiring the view of you walking off. You chuckled to yourself and shook your head, glad to know he hasn’t changed one bit.

Once the both of you were dressed, a knock at the door startled you. You weren’t expecting anyone but thought that maybe it was Jay and Hikuleo. You took a couple steps towards the door when Riley stopped you. “I got it, babe. It’s a surprise.” He winked as he passed by you and reached the door. You were confused on what kind of surprise he had in store for you. Honestly, you were a little nervous about what it could be because knowing your boyfriend, it could be anything.

You watched perched on the edge of an arm chair near the bed, head tilted to the side, eyebrows furrowed. You watched Riley step aside as a hotel employee rolled a cart into the room, a dome covered plate with coffee, tea, and orange juice sitting around the plate. There were small bowls of various fruit strategically placed on the tray as well. You made note of the fresh bouquet of flowers on the cart, a mixture of your favorite flowers — colored roses, sunflowers, daisies, and tulips.

You were overwhelmed with emotion at Riley’s sweetness. “What’s all this?” You ask, softly, wiping away tears from your eyes. You were definitely not expecting this.

Riley shrugged. “Just felt right.” He said, nonchalantly as he made his way over to you. “I bet you’re dying to see what’s for breakfast.” He grinned, pulling you into his arms and placing a gentle, loving kiss to your neck.

“Obviously.” You chuckled, looking up into the most gorgeous pair of eyes you’ve ever seen. “Depending on what it is I might not share.” You joked, nudging him playfully.

He shook his head moving away from you and lifting the dome to reveal pancakes, French toast, eggs, bacon, and sausage. It was definitely way more food than you could ever eat.

“Considering how much food is here, you definitely have to eat some.” You said as you passed him a fork. “You didn’t have to do this you know. I would have been fine with a bowl of cereal.”

“I love you and you deserve it, babe.” Riley gave you another loving kiss, this time to your temple. “Nothing but the best for my girl, my queen. Now, dig in!” He exclaimed before taking a big bite of a pancake.

Like the Grinch, you felt your heart grow three sizes that day. The remainder of the day was spent just goofing off and sight seeing. You knew you missed your other half, but until that day, you didn’t realize just how much you missed him. You were determined to fly out to Japan and surprise him the first chance you got.

Now there you were on a plane to Japan to surprise Riley at Wrestle Kingdom 17 at the Tokyo Dome. Surprisingly, it didn’t take too much convincing for Tony Kahn to grant you this one thing.

Riley was the one for you — you just knew it. Little did you know he felt the same, a little black, velvet box sitting on the dresser at the home you two shared in Japan showed it. He was more than ready to pop the big question and soon too.

General Taglist: @legit9thlunaticwarrior @plentyoffandoms @1dluver13xx @sunshinevirus @wwenhlimagines @crowleysqueenofhell @jackson-nickthedate13

El Phantasmo Taglist: @legit9thlunaticwarrior

A/N: If you don’t feel comfortable with the Google form, you can let me know to add you to the taglist with an ask, messages, or a comment!

[jenny-from-the-bau]

silly bau thoughts: the team at karaoke night

penny and derek obviously do a duet of islands in the stream (and give an encore of total eclipse of the heart or don't you want me baby or something)

jj, penelope & probably reid do some terrible rendition of nickleback's how you remind me (i just know jj is really into dad rock)

rossi does a killer only the good die young

emily has to basically be forced onto the stage by jj and penelope but unlike the rest of the team she can actually carry a tune, which kind of shocks them all

hotch, however, cannot be forced onto the stage by himself and only sings if the whole team does a song together

Derek and Penelope vacillating between heartfelt ballads and raunchy dance songs hahaha

JJ is 100% into dad rock and always makes Pen and Reid and sometimes Hotch do songs with her lmaooo

Rossi 😭😭😭 hahaha

Emily can actually sing, but she does funny voices to cover it up. She does a perfect rendition of the Macarena and everyone is just ??? But they're dancing!!

Hotch is the stage dad and films it all lmaooo

[6ad6ro]

i think life would be a lot better if everyone shut the fuck up about dark souls. it's seriously become the nickleback of gaming culture. i don't wanna hear anything about it, good or bad. i hate that even in the act of writing this post, i have annoyed myself, because i too am once again talking about dark souls.

i just wish it went back to being just a game, instead of this marvel movie level influence on gaming culture. i can't be the only one absolutely sick of hearin about it, or seeing yet another game release with souls mechanics shoehorned in. it needs to just go the fuck away for a long long time. then maybe some day i might actually be able to enjoy it for what it was. like i did with demons souls back when i first played it. back when it was still just a weird game and nothing more.

[oncasette]

heyyy love!! congrats again on 1k!! could I start off with stardust chords and get eddie + the enemies to lovers trope??

HATEF—K the bravery. HIT ME LIKE A MAN the pretty reckless. SOMETHING IN YOUR MOUTH nickleback. A LITTLE DEATH the neighbourhood. WICKED GAME him.

nsfw!

“you sure you wanna do that, pretty girl?” he has the nerve to ask as his hand ghosts over the cotton fabric between your thighs. “thought you were gonna be my good girl.”

“i hate you,” you whimper, desperately bucking your hips into him in a silent plea for something. anything, really. you didn’t meet him out in the woods during your lunch break just to get cock blocked.

“aw, thought we’d gotten over all that,” he says before pulling his hand away completely.

you’re about to say something, too. completely lose it, actually, before you hear him fiddling with his belt and your tongue gets heavy in your mouth.

“take your panties off for me, princess,” he says, punctuating his statement with the sound of his zipper coming undone.

[golbrocklovely]

Positive question:

what is your go too karaoke song?

i actually have never karaoked before. or at least it's been YEARS since i did. i think the last and only time i ever did it was in 5th grade at the end of the school year.

but i do have an answer for this lol

if i'm trying to be serious and and actually sing, it's gonna be some shain twain song bc i love her. probably either "still the one" or "gonna getcha good".

but if i'm not being serious, and it's for shits and gigs, i gotta go with "rockstar" by nickleback lmao

[anotherghoul666]

FUCK ME DUDE I sent the ask off without the damn answer in XD I'm so sorry hahahaha @devoured-by-shadows here's the actual post holy fuck.

(Answers 19 and 25 are below the others under a read more cause there’s talks of sensitive topics in there, 19 light mention of the topic of death, and 25 especially be wary of if you’re sensitive to topics like addiction, overdose and someone withering away over years.)

12:A song from your preteen years Ooh, interesting, what was big in my musical life between 9 and 12. Let's see. I got into metal at age 7 thanks to my dad showing me Iron Maiden, so needles to say Maiden was My Band in those years. While yes, there were other bands that managed to pique my interest then - things like Linkin Park, System of a Down, Nickleback (people need to chill with the Nickleback hate, yes they're commercial as fuck but dear god Silver Side Up and The Long Road fucked back in the day ok, and I will respect and appreciate those albums for what they were) and my first forray into power metal through Gamma Ray and Helloween and Blind Guardian - let's be real, Maiden was basically my whole life. When I discovered Maiden through their older albums, they were currently fronted by Blaze Bailey. Bless the guy, he tried his best and there are legit good songs on his two albums with Maiden, but you just can't fill Bruce Dickinson's shoes man, nobody can. All we were waiting for was Dickinson's return. So when he did come back in 2000 for the Brave New World album, that felt like the biggest event of my short life, and that album became my hyperfixation and favorite thing on the planet.

Iron Maiden - The Wicker Man I could link the entire album here as my “song of my pre-teen years” but this is the first track off of the album, it’s the start of the obsession, it was one of my favs to drum to back in the day. Lots of good memories with this classic!

15:A song that is a cover by another artist You know what's excellent music? 80s synth-pop / new wave like Tears for Fears.

Tears for Fears - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

You know what's even better? When a silly-yet-actually-super-talented youtuber band does it over 30 years later and nails the atmosphere.

Ninja Sex Party - Everybody Wants to Rule the World Listen, the world can say that it wants about the whole Game Grumps / Ninja Sex Party / Danny Sexbang persona, I kinda don't care. Objective truth is, Dan Avidan has fucking pipes, his voice is a fucking treasure, and serious albums like that one cover album from 2016 really show off these guys' potential. I get what their shtick is and I respect the hustle. But dude, when they cover 80s tracks like this one or A-ha's Take on Me? This is where they shine in my opinion. There's something so comforting, so soft and smooth in this version, this song feels like a hug for my brain. I remember multiple occasions in 2016 when this song alone carried me through panic attacks.

18:A song from the year that you were born So I was born in ‘91. Solid year in music, and in metal specifically. Metallica’s Black Album came out in ‘91. Ozzy Osbourne’s No More Tears, Soundgarden’s Badmotorfinger, classics everyone knows. Over in Europe in the Nordic countries, the late 80s to early 90s with ‘91 smack dab in the middle was the creation and solidifying of black metal. And while of course I did not listen to black metal as a baby (tho I wish XD) the genre became my favorite genre of metal nowadays. ‘91 was the year when Darkthrone released their first record. When Samael released their first record. And when Bathory, already legends back then, released Twilight of the Gods.

Bathory - Prologue / Twilight of the Gods / Epilogue Piece of fucking history this track is.

20:A song that has many meanings to you Ha XD Come try to crack the code of Genesis’ The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway storyline hahaha. 23 songs of the most beautiful madness in the world. Listen, I have listened to this album countless times, pondered meanings, I read the story, my dad saw the original show, we saw the officially sanctioned replica of the show together multiple times, with the costumes, the original videos, everything. I understand The Lamb, and at the same time I understand absolutely nothing about The Lamb.

Genesis - In The Cage Make your own meaning. The more you look at The Lamb, the more confused the creature will make you, and that’s the way I like it! Peter Gabriel era Genesis is the best music that humanity’s ever created. You can spend your whole life trying to get it and you won’t and you’ll still be on awe.

19:A song that makes you think about life I tend to think about life through the lens of death most often. Idk how morbid of a person that means I am, or how much of a realist it makes me maybe? I don’t like to spend too much pondering life cause I know it can easily take me somewhere dark in the mind. But I do instinctually think about the value of life and artistic output, and the limited and fragile nature of life itself, when I listen to songs by people I’ve never known or met or seen while they were alive, and yet here they are, alive and well somehow in my hands and ears. How trippy.

Windir - Journey to the End Raising a (non-alcoholic) glass to Valfar for his soul to share in whichever hall of the afterlife he’s at. The soul of the Sogndal scene, unbeatable creative who I firmly believe could have influenced black metal and changed the course of the scene if he hadn’t died walking home in a snowstorm in 2004. Life’s funny like that. Sometimes all it takes is a walk home that you never arrive from. That type of shit makes me ponder life and its weirdly thin meaning. You take a look at the lyrics, it’s almost like Valfar knew what was coming. Nevertheless, Valfar and Windir left us some of the absolute best black metal offerings in the history of the genre. You cannot tell me this guy wasn’t ahead of his time with that synthy / electro / dreamy second half.

25:A song by an artist no longer living Aaah I unknowingly preemptively answered this one with the Windir answer before uh XD Alright, well, let’s talk about another artist that’s passed away then. An artist I actually got to see playing live multiple times before his passing. An artist that we, in the melodeath community, thought was so fucking cool. His self-destruction, which was very vividly broadcasted to the public mind you, was glorified, it was so epic and wild and awesome. The Wildchild, Alexi Laiho of Children of Bodom fame. We aspired to be half as cool as him. Because for some strange reason when you’re a teenager, a person showing off how much he can drink and do drugs is cool. A metal musician you admire showing himself blackout drunk and passed out and making himself sick day and day out, was cool.

That’s nuts to me now, as an adult, as someone who has mildly dealt with addiction and even that fucked me up, as someone who works with addicts and sees the damages of this disease day in and day out. We all watched Alexi killing himself slowly in front of us, at shows, on camera, on the tour buses, etc. and thought it was cool. We encouraged him, egged him on. Fucking madness. It claimed him, in the end. In 2020. I saw it coming for a few years so I was zero percent surprised. I know it caught some fans off guard, I don’t understand how.

I saw CoB in 2019, less than a year before the guy passed. I also saw CoB multiple times from 2011 to then, so I saw the decline of the frontman, and I feel you had to willingly be blind to it to not see it. In 2019 the guy was a living skeleton. No energy, barely able to play on stage, haggard unfocused eyes, caved in face, skin over bones. I read reviews of this 2019 show, people wrote about how he looked good and had energy and was “at his best”, like?! Was it denial about their favorite musician’s health status? Or pandering to the music industry, unable to review a show honestly? That performance was beyond difficult to watch. It hurt. Still hurts when I think back on it. I was physically uncomfortable. We left before the end. I couldn’t stand watching a literal wraith shredding guitar on stage knowing full well this night too would end with him passed out drunk at the bar after.

It was a whole story, Alexi’s antics. It caused tension and conflict within the band, and of course, how can it not be harmful to watch your frontman and friend do this to themselves. But metal was and unfortunately still is a culture of excess and substances, and nobody did it “better” than the Wildchild. We all thought it looked rad, but in the end we watched this guy die for two decades. When the news of his passing came out in 2020 (from an overdose of lots of different substances on top of liver disease and basically an organ breakdown) I cried a ton. For the reality behind this precious piece of my childhood and teenage years that was CoB; but mostly for how unhealthy the live music scene can be and how it can encourage artists down very dark paths. I don’t understand anymore how watching people get fucked up on substances is supposed to be cool. So I do my part when I can, to honor Alexi Laiho and other musicians like him whom addiction claimed, and to remind whoever reads me that alcoholism and drug abuse isn’t “cool”. Taking shit doesn’t make anyone more manly or more metal or impressive. Addiction shouldn’t be trendy. It cost us too many great musicians already.

Children of Bodom - Thrashed, Lost & Strungout Man I miss this motherfucker.

[duckingwriting]

🎶✨️when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers/mutuals (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)🎶✨️

-@mthollowell-writes



She keeps me up - Nickleback

Good Lookin' - Dixon Dallas

Outlaws - Delta Rae

Fast Car - Tracey Chapman

The Hammer's Coming Down - Nickleback

[southie-dakotie]

Imagine Dragons are no longer Mormons and are actually extremely vocal LGBTQ+ supporters so their support of the writer's strike is more than likely entirely genuine

Huh! Thats good to know then. Like their music isnt my Favourite to begin with but it's good to see they went and publicly cleared that up i guess

In other news my google search to back this up revealed that other big artists HATE them and compare them to Nickleback which is a fucking compliment damn them. Stop the nickleback slander