#no because this quote is literally them guys like hear me out guy GUYS

[taasgirl]

lover - oscar piastri

summary: y/n is a songwriter who writes plenty of songs however no one realizes that they're made by her (and about oscar hehe)!

a/n: the outcomes of the races are fictional, and the order in which these songs have been written (assume fearless was written this year ygwim?). also no face claim!!

liked by yukitsunoda, oscarpiastri, and 33, 287 others ynusername romance is not dead if you keep it just yours! lovelovelove being able to come home for race day!! i'm so proud of u osc 🩷

oscarpiastri I'm so lucky 🥰 liked by ynusername

user27633 Y/N IS A SWIFTIE CONFIRMED!?!?!

ynusername of course!!

user16372 u literally take the cutest photos of oscar

user82537 y/n quoting paris... i'm so up

yukitsunoda 😆😆

landonorris You're my favourite wag

ynusername wow how considerate

liked by taylorswift, landonorris, and 1, 287, 387 others oscarpiastri Unwinding before Japan 👊

ynusername tehee we're cute

oscarpiastri You're cuter landonorris Get a room

taylorswift ooooh she's working hard @ ynusername

user62584 WHAT THE FUCK ARE U DOING HERE???

user98274 OSCAR IS FRIENDS WITH TAYLOR HUH

user61192 i did not expect to see taylor in the comments of oscar's post tagging y/n!

user92898 no fr like what is going on

user93829 Everyone shut up about taylor look at the beauty that is y/n omd

view ynusername's story...

liked by jackantonoff, phoebebridgers, and 55, 918, 278 others taylorswift In honour of my album 'The Tortured Poets Department' release a week ago, I wanted to thank my biggest musical inspirations! Thank you Jack, Lana, and Y/N for helping me the best artist I could possibly be, without you'd guys I'd be nowhere (thank you y/n for writing the cheesiest, cutest, sexiest songs ever)!!

user51862 who is y/n

user01827 She's dating f1 driver oscar piastri but also now apparently a songwriter idk...

user72973 Wdym thanks y/n for writing?? you're telling me the twitter stans were right??

user62863 y/n is singlehandedly uniting f1 and the swifties

ynusername thank u tay 💓💓

user52868 Girl has been living a double life

user51929 ohhh so this is why taylor was commenting on oscar's post😭

liked by oscarpiastri, taylorswift, and 108, 276 others ynusername well now that the cat is out of the bag, who wants to hear a story? i assume u all said yes.

on one of our first dates, oscar made me a bracelet (yes that one) and i thought (and still think) that it was one of the most romantic gestures. so obviouslyyy i wrote 'lover' about him hehe. yes we only knew each other for at most three months when i wrote it, but i love him so much, he's my forever.

oscarpiastri I love having a singer for a girlfriend (wife one day)

ynusername hello cat boy

user18739 You're telling me that taylor's most romantic song is literally written by my favourite wag about my favourite driver?? i might pass out

ynusername haha yes! i write a lot of songs for tay

landonorris So this song is basically about ur delusions liked by ynusername

user52863 oh now i need to know exactly what songs you've written

user20939 AND PLEASE RECORD COVERS OF THEM TOO

lilymhe wait so you've been friends with taylor the whole time...

lilymhe AND THE SONG THAT I WANT PLAYED AT MY WEDDING IS WRITTEN ABOUT OSCAR?? ynusername oh my god lily HAHA

let me know if you liked this!! i know it's super short but i'm seriously lacking inspo and ideas omd. also i literally love oscar so much.

i'm also working on a few reqs, so if you have a suggestion or request, let me know because i'd love to do it!!

[hiro--aoki]

TWD Incorrect Quotes from my classmates

Tw: contains swear words, mention of sex, use of slut and maybe some other offense things, idk

Michonne: Because your minds are still developing you want to….

Y/N: Do drugs!

Michonne: Take more risks…

Y/N: Nah…

Michonne: A risk is any unsafe action or stupid, thoughtless and careless behaviour.

Carl to Y/N: Literally me.

*Coughs that sound like an erupting volcano*

Abraham: My tummy hurts.

Michonne: Can you name three risks?

Merle: Sex with no protection!

Carl: A gun with no safety on!

Y/N: Having a forehead as big as Merle’s!

Deanna: So, we have codes A, C and D.

Rick: Why not code B? Where’s the B????

Aaron: B-cause.

Glenn: You should b- ashamed of yourself…. I’m not funny

Maggie: You’re not funny

Deanna: So, code A stands for….?

Daryl: Ass!

Eugene: Acceptable!

Aaron: Yeah *fistbump*

Y/N: Nerd!

Deanna: What about code C?

Maggie: Coffee.

Eugene: Calculated!

Deanna: Yes! How about code D?

Abraham: Deez nuts!

Sasha: Dangerous!

Carol: Destructive!

Deanna: Yeah! You guys concern me!

Y/N: Ron, shut up you acoustic monk.

Glenn: Guys I accidentally wrote relationhips instead of relationships.

Carl: Y/N, has relationhips.

Y/N: What’s that supposed to mean?!?!

Y/N: Carl, has a shirt that says ‘ Roblox is life’ shirt, and he said it suits me.

Negan: Feel how soft my water bottle is.

Simon: Stop stroking your water bottle like that!

Michonne: What’s something that was legal, but was a destructive decision?

Merle: Weed!

Enid: I wanna jump off a cliff.

Y/N: I wanna kiss a 12 gauge.

Enid: My dad jumped out of a plane without a parachute…

Carl: My dad is a plane.

Andrea: My butt hurts.

Dale: *Gives strange look*

Andrea: You’re looking at me like you wanna fuck me.

Dale: What?

Shane: Ha!

Dale: No, I actually didn’t hear.

Amy: Real.

Negan: Did you wash your ass today?

Michonne: So, tell me an example of a safety risk?

Merle: Your mom

Michonne: …and some conatin cannabis

Judith: These gummies tastes funny.

*Watching a budget direct ad and Captain Risky comes on*

Jesus: Smash

Ron: Bro’s him

Daryl: I mean he has all the skills

Carl: Bluds the main character

Y/N: You look like a potato

Dwight: You look like a trash can

Y/N: Nuh uh

Dwight: Yeah uh

Negan: Dwight, keep working *Lightly caresses the shovel Dwight’s hand*

Y/N: Stop!

Dwight: Stop it I don’t like it!

Y/N: Yes, we are Sluts

Rosita: Sexy Ladies Under Tonnes of Stress

Y/N: I can’t make a decision that big, I can’t even tie my own shoes!

Enid: Please tell me you’re joking.

Y/N: I’m not, I tie them like a three-year old! Let me show you!

Enid: No, no thanks…

Y/N: Watch my feet! Watch my shoes. *Ties laces with two loops*

Enid: Ew *visibly cringes*

Carl: …I just asked if you wanted pancakes or waffles….

Glenn: Look how much funny shit we said today.

Daryl: I can’t it’s too black

Glenn: Ayo?

Daryl: I meant too dark!

Y/N: Nah!

*Glenn adjusts lighting*

Daryl: Now it’s too white!

Y/N: !!!

Daryl: Too bright! Too bright!

Negan: BALLS

Y/N: Gotta rizz ‘em with the ‘tism

Negan: I’m a Savior….save ya mom!

*Carl and Ron carrying a log*

Enid: For a second I thought that was in their ass’s

Y/N: I want them up my ass

Enid: What?

Y/N: What?

*Truck passes*

Daryl: Awww yeah, listen to tha’

Y/N: I can smell the air…

Daryl: No shit, sherlock!

Glenn: Don’t judge a book by it’s-

Eugene: Erm actually, it’s in the human instincts system, for us to make a quick judgement on a person appearance to determine whether they are friend or foe.

Y/N: Oooh, did I appear friend or foe when you first saw me?

Eugene: Well, when I first encountered you, you looked like you couldn’t hurt a fly, but since then, I have realised my mistake and have grown scared of you.

Rosita: He’s scared of everything…

Eugene: Not pickles!

Beth: What song do you wear?

[matchnightt]

Charles: I love you

Max:

Charles:

Max: It’ll pass.

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Out of curiousity, do you think most national museums are participating in the same kind of thing that the British Museum is, i.e. holding onto items that they stole in conquest / archaeological items that other nations are requesting back?

I always wonder if we should be looking at the bigger picture rather than just this one spotlighted issue (not that the spotlight isn't important in raising the issue originally).

oh goodie we're digging up stuff I wrote from 2 years ago...yay

Okay, for starters, let's look at how you've phrased your question. Currently, the heavy implication is that this is all the BM is (i.e. it only holds colonial loot and contested items), which is false. Yes, it does hold colonial loot from the British Empire. No one is disputing that. It also holds contested items such as the Parthenon Marbles and the Rosetta Stone. What it also holds are many items taken from digs where the country in question permitted them taking them, and then also gifts and other such non colonial requisitions.

Mostly, I need to stress, because as someone who's adjacent to museums this drives me insane: Framing all museum collections as Bad and only containing Bad Items from Bad Deeds doesn't give you the full picture and if you don't have the full picture you can't really address the issue of repatriation properly. It's the classic 'All or Nothing' mentality and I'm begging people to seek nuance on complex topics such as this. Also governments suck and so hearing repeated 'well museums suck because XYZ' means they're more than happy to simply defund them, which they already are doing and that's not helping stuff like repatriation either.

In short, if you're asking does any other museum have a law like BM63 (I wrote 68 in the post because...I'm bad at numbers)? Not as far as I'm aware, no. The BM is unique in that instance where the government literally created a law to prevent it from divesting of its collection.

Do other national museums hold colonial looted artefacts and contested items? Yes. Lots of them. All over the world.

Germany's Neues Museum holds the bust of Nefertiti, which is contested.

The Louvre in Paris has multiple Italian artworks that were stolen in the 1790s that Italy wants back.

The Horses of St Mark's (in Venice) were stolen from Greece by Constantine in the 1200s. (Not really all that contested but they were definitely stolen).

Yale University holds numerous items from Machu Picchu. The 1911 dig had permission from the Peruvian Government, but the items were supposed to be returned. I believe (don't quote me) that less than half were originally. They have subsequently been returned, but this is not an uncommon story.

There's a bunch of Nazi looted artworks that are in museums that need to be returned to their rightful owners.

The MET museum in the US and everything it got from Douglas Latchford (this is ongoing, with some repatriations having already happened)

The National Museum of Australia also got caught out by that guy.

To be fair, the MET Museum has a problem with looted artefacts in general from the 70s onwards as they tried to compete with the European collections and thus ended up gaining a lot of 'not properly provenanced artefacts'. There was a gold sarcophagus they returned only recently that was looted from Egypt post-2011.

The Bible Museum in the US has...stuff it shouldn't (there's a lot and I'm not listing it).

*voice dripping with derision* Whatever the Hobby Lobby is up to

I could go on!

Focusing solely on the BM is a result of a US-Centric mindset, and a pervasive anglophone bias in things people will read. (Or in other words: It's fun to shit on the Brits and most of you only read English anyway.)

This has the unfortunate effect of making it seem like the BM is only museum in the world doing this, and they're not. Not in the slightest. Many museums, national or not, will have colonial looted items if that country has, at any time in the past, waged expansionist wars against other nations, no matter how brief. If your local museum has artefacts from Not Your Country there's a good chance they were looted! Again, I stress that many many artefacts that left places like Egypt were part of agreements with the Egyptian government (called partition agreements) whereby the Egyptian government took first pick of artefacts from a dig and then the dig organisers could take the rest. This hasn't happened since UNESCO World Heritage Convention 1975, which prohibits new artefacts from leaving countries which is also why I will bonk on the head with a cardboard tube anyone who says Archaeologists/Museums are still stealing things.

So yeah, if you're looking at repatriation, you'll be much better looking at the bigger picture and understanding how all this came to be in the first place than you'll ever be making memes about the BM stealing things on the internet.

[neiveel3llson]

Obey Me! Incorrect quotes

Diavolo trying to convince MC to continue being the babysitter:

NB Diavolo: "What are you talking about MC? You love it here!"

NB MC: "I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome."

Solomon being an old ass man:

NB Solomon: "The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have."

Satan for no reason at all:

NB Mammon: "Do I sound smart, or am I smart? "

NB Satan: "You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest."

Leviathan being depressed:

NB Lucifer: "How are you today?"

NB Leviathan: "Please don’t make me think about my life."

Beelzebub being.. Beelzebub:

NB Beelzebub: "My stomach growled super loud in French."

NB Beelzebub: "I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class."

NB Leviathan: "Bonjour."

NB MC: "Le growl."

NB Mammon: "Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette."

NB MC now that they're a demon:

NB MC: "I am literally evil incarnate."

NB MC: "I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil."

NB MC: "Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort."

Solomon can't cook:

NB Solomon: "I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulhousemate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."

NB MC: "This is a lie."

NB MC: "I'm literally living with him. This is a lie."

NB MC: "HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS."

MC just wants to go home:

NB Solomon: "I think I'm falling for you."

NB MC: "Then get up."

Levi is sick of Satan:

NB Leviathan: "Satan is okay."

NB Beelzebub: "He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!"

NB Leviathan: "Beel, Satan threatened me. He threatens Lucifer every day. He probably threatened Diavolo before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair."

Levi self-deprocating:

NB MC: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Levi."

NB Leviathan: "I hate myself."

NB MC: "Alright, square up."

When MC first came:

NB MC, referring to NB Mammon and NB Diavolo: "Those guys are dorks."

NB Lucifer: "Yes, but they’re my dorks."

Belphegor annoying Lucifer on purpose:

NB Belphegor: "Lucifer, we have a visitor."

NB Lucifer: "Don't tell me it's our babysitter.."

NB Belphegor: "It's MC."

Lucifer being sick of Mammon's shit:

Lucifer: "The greatest trick the diavolo's father ever pulled was changing his name to Mammon."

Mammon bc he's my fav pookie:

Mammon: "So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?"

MC: "Depends. Is your bed comfortable?"

Mammon: "Yes."

MC: "I'd sleep."

Thirteen is going insane:

Thirteen: "Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time."

Diavolo is far too concerned:

*after discussing a plan*

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any questions?"

Diavolo: "Is this legal?"

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any relevant questions?"

Satan loves to boast:

Satan: "I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight."

MC: "What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?"

Satan, already taking off his clothes: "God, MC, you’re so fucking stupid."

It probably wouldn't work anyways:

MC: "Here’s the cold medicine you asked for." *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Thirteen: "...Thanks."

Levi and Garfield:

Leviathan: "I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer room in the basement of HOL with Cerberus."

Math doesn't work:

MC: "Which is correct, seven and five is thirteen, or seven and five are thirteen?"

Thirteen: "Niether."

Thirteen: "Because it's twelve."

Venomous or poisonous?:

Lucifer: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."

Mammon: "What if it bites me and it dies?!"

Lucifer: "Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen."

Diavolo: "What if it bites itself and I die?"

Lucifer: "That's voodoo."

MC: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Lucifer: "That's correlation, not causation."

Asmodeus: "What if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Solomon: "That's kinky."

Barbatos: "Oh my goodness."

:P done

[skylarsblue]

I still have more. More Incorrect Quotes.

(Accidentally had a lot more fem!Y/N than intended but it's overall GN!) Alex: What made you think you’d be good for the military? Y/N: I worked at a Waffle House in America. Alex: Ah, alright, that makes sense.

-- (Interrogating Valeria)

Y/N: Look, Gaz, you know me. I can't- I can't do it. Gaz: Why not? Why can't you interrogate her? Y/N: Because I'm a bisexual with mommy issues, Gaz. And she's as pretty as she is scary. I'm already not that intimidating, she'll laugh at me when I start stuttering and then I'll just be horny. It can't be me. Gaz: ....okay, I'll ask Alejandro-

-- Y/N: I just realized something...I had a bad childhood. Gaz: Yeah we know. Y/N: What do you mean you know? Soap: Look at how you stand! People who had good childhoods don't stand like that. Y/N: How do I stand?! Gaz: Like Ghost. Ghost: ...I don't appreciate the call out but fair-

-- Price: Where are you going?! Y/N: To either get ice cream or commit a felony, I'll decide in the car!

-- Ghost after watching Fem!Y/N do an incredibly risky move: I just...Is she blind?? Suffering some form of brain damage?

-- (Tw; Hollywood Undead unalive song)

Y/N: My legs are dangling off the edge, the bottom of the bottle is my only friend, I think I'll sli- Price: EXCUSE ME?! WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?? Y/N: Wh- No Captain, it's just a so- Price: GHOST GET THE BASE PSYCH ON THE PHONE Y/N: CAPTAIN IT'S A SONG I'M FINE- Well I'm not bUT NO WAIT HANG ON-

-- Valeria: *screaming in spanish* Y/N: ... Gaz: Don't. Y/N, blushing: I'm trying-

-- (During movie night; watching Venom)

Y/N: *pauses on that scene where Venoms sticks his tongue out at the guy in the street* ....Hear me out- Gaz: NO! NO. Y/N: NO NO LISTEN, LISTEN- Soap: Let them speak. Gaz: Don't encourage this! Y/N, pointing at the screen: LOOK AT IT! LOOK! Objectively you have to understand- Gaz: NOOO, it eats people! Soap: THAT TONGUE IS THREE FEET LONG AT LEAST! Gaz: No, I will not be hearing anyone out! I- GHOST, Ghost, back me up. Tell them they shouldn't want to fuck the ALIEN. Ghost, looking at the screen: Ethically, it's wrong. Gaz: Thank you. Ghost: ...objectively- Y/N: AHA! SEE?!

-- Ghost: *bends over* Y/N: *silently flips out* Soap, quietly: Wh-what? What are you-?! Y/N: SHHH *grabs Soap's jaw and turns him to look* Soap: *slack jaw* Damn- Y/N: fuckingdamnindeed- Ghost: *turns around* Soap: So it's your turn to pick dinner, what're you thinking? Y/N: Oh I dunno, maybe something pork related, uh, or cake- Soap: Aha, yeah...cake. Ghost: ....??

--

Fem!Y/N: I am not the mom of 141, that's ridiculous. Someone: You make all of them lunch every day with fruit cut into shapes, IN PERSONALIZED LUNCH BOXES Fem!Y/N: They need nutrition! Someone: You color code their items- Fem!Y/N: Look, if you were there for the item mix-ups you'd understand. Someone: YOU ARE LITERALLY FOLDING AND LABELLING THEIR LAUNDRY WITH A SHARPIE ON THE TAGS. Fem!Y/N: *holding Simon's skull boxers, writing his name on the tag* That- ...oh my god I'm the mom.

-- Ghost, watching Soap run past: WHAT DO YOU HAVE?! Soap, grinning & sprinting: A FUCKIN' BOMB Ghost: NO!!!

-- Price: Y/N, this is Lieutenant Riley, you can call him Ghost. Ghost: Y/N, looking him up and down: ...you got daddy issues? Ghost: ....maybe Y/N: Cool, same. Pleasure to meet'cha, sorry life gave you shit. Ghost, shaking their hand: Ditto. Price: *concerned sigh*

-- Price, walking into the common area at 10 pm: What in the world- Gaz, Soap, and Y/N: *all in there pyjamas with face masks on, eating snacks* Y/N: *slowly keeps chewing* Gaz: ...heeeyy siiirr... Price: It was lights out an hour ago, what are you lot doing? Soap: *slowly raises another face mask* ....Self care, sir? Price: ... Ghost, walking in at midnight for water: ....what. Soap, Gaz, Price, and Y/N: *stop gossiping* Gaz: ....hey. Soap: Evenin' L.T. Y/N: Howdy. Ghost: *looks at Price with a face mask on* Ghost: ...*sighs and sits down* Pass the Goldfish. Soap: Yeaaaah, good man! Welcome to the party!

-- Shepard: Is anyone here straight?! Price: ...*hesitantly raises hand* Laswell: *pushes his hand back down*

-- Valeria: *angry ranting* Y/N, a captive: Stop being so mean to me or I swear to god I'm gonna fall in love with you!

-- Ghost: What in the hell are you doing? Y/N: Laying in the rain. Ghost: Why? Y/N: If I lay here long enough, it feels like it washes the sad away. So I'm gonna lay here until the sad is gone. Ghost: You'll get sick. Y/N: Better sick than sad, sir. Ghost: ...*looks at the sky, back down, sighs* Ghost: *lays down on the tarmac* Y/N: Got a lot of sad? Ghost: ...Yeah. Y/N: If the rain doesn't take care of it, let's trade sads. Then it'll at least be a different kind of sad. Ghost: Not sure you want my sad. Y/N: Maybe not, but I don't think you should have to handle your sad alone either. Ghost: ...alright. Y/N: Cool.

-- Price: Simon, it's three o' clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding? Ghost: Because I've lost control of my life.

-- Soap, with a gunshot wound: Do I regret it? Yes. Will I do it again? Most likely.

-- Y/N after doing something so badass it would fit in a movie: ...DID EVERYONE SEE THAT?? CAUSE I WILL NOT BE DOING IT AGAIN.

-- Ghost: You kidnapped the prime minister's daughter? That's illegal! Soap: Okay, Ghost, but what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing the prime minister's daughter, or destroying 141? Ghost: KIDNAPPING THE PRIME MINISTER'S DAUGHTER, JOHNNY! Fem!Y/N: Do you guys have like, a water or something? Snack maybe? No?

-- Y/N: I think there's been some confusion. I'm not the one in trouble here. Enemy Soldier: ...What? Y/N: There are only four of you. You'll need more than that. Gaz, hearing it over the intercom: ...they're gonna whoop-ass but we should probably go help them.

-- Someone: Why are you doing their straps for them? Price: They don't like velcro. Someone: Just do it yourself! Y/N: I'm not touching that stuff! I'll get neurotypical cooties.

-- Y/N, high on painkillers: If yo leg get cut off, would it hurt? Soap, in a hospital bed beside them: ...DUH Y/N: How though? Soap: Cause your leg got cut off! Y/N: Where you gonna feel the pain? Soap: In your le.... Y/N: Exactly bro! How you gonna feel the pain in yo leg if- Both: If your leg is gone! Soap: Whoooaaa... Y/N: Bro I swear, we're geniuses. Ghost, on his last brain cell: Fuckin'ell.

-- Ghost, about to lose his shit: Dear lord, I know we haven't spoken in a long time but if you could give me a little patience-

-- Gaz: Do you believe in God? Y/N: ...Yes & no. Gaz: Yes & No? What do you mean? Y/N: I believe there is a higher power, I believe a God exists. But...believing in God? Now that...haven't done that in a long time.

--

Gaz & Y/N: *dancing* Ghost: Can you two be serious for five seconds? Gaz, bustin' a move: Dunno sir, can you have fun for five seconds? Y/N: *stops and looks at Gaz* Gaz: *stops and is filled with instant regret* ...uh, sir, I- Ghost: Tell you what. I'll give you five seconds...to start running- Gaz: *turns to run and sees Y/N already yards away* YOU LEFT ME?! Y/N: I WANNA LIVE!!!!

-- Ghost: What are they doing? Price: Arguing in morse code. Soap: - .... .- - .----. ... / .-- .... -.-- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / ... .... --- . ... / .-. .- --. --. . -.. -.-- Gaz: -.-- .- / -- --- -- -- .- Soap: YOU FUCKIN' TAKE THAT BACK-

-- Soap: Keep your eyes closed, I have a surpriiisee!~ Ghost: You did your paperwork? Soap: I said surprise, not miracle.

-- Y/N, on tiktok: FOR ALL YOU NASTY ASSES IN MY DMS- *shows the team* THIS IS MY TEAM. STOP SENDING MY DICK PICS OR I WILL SEND THEM AFTER Y'ALL. Ghost: You've been getting dick pics? Soap: Who the hell's been harassing you online?! Y/N: SEE?? THEY'LL WHOOP YA ASS, SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

-- Y/N, on tiktok again: Alright, backfired on me. For all of y'all who are now trying to be nasty by THIRSTING for my teammates, uh, no. Stop askin' for my Captain's marital status, I'm not gonna tell you. No you may not get my teammate's dicks, I will not be giving you their social media, stOP ASKING I KNOW THEY'RE HOT BUT NO-

-- (I've fallen down the rabbit hole of Karen compilations, so, that's why I thought of this)

Y/N: Goodbye sir! Male Karen: Fuck you bitch! Go suck off your captain you fuckin' whore!! Y/N: Sure, I'll do that, goodbye! Male Karen: Suck my dick, whore! Y/N: Can't! It's too full of military dick, you'll need to make an appointment, GOODBYE!! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: Jesus. Christ. Ghost: I told you all America is shit.

(Bonus Note cause I can't put in anywhere else; on the topic of Venom + C.o.D. I know we have Soap in place of Eddie & Ghost in place of Venom, but hear me out. Y/N! being Ghost's host and Johnny being a third part. P o l y ! A u !)

[love-belle]

you can hear it in the silence !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which he knows how lucky he is.

or

for when you know your stars were on your side when you met them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - so sorry for not posting yesterday, i was catching up on my hw so !!! anyways, i will try to clear out my inbox by sunday, i have like 10 more requests which i still have to post. you can send me more but please be patient because first i would be clearing out the initial ones!! i love you, thank you so much for reading. hope you like it!!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, georgerussell63 and 799,315 others

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tagged yourusername

6,628 comments

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 3,562,728 others

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tagged charles_leclerc

18,927 comments

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*liked by yourusername*

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, yourbestfriend and 814,527 others

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7,628 comments

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username my last straw 🧃

[centrally-unplanned]

The thing about morality is that it only matters when it's real. Discussions of rules or norms for what is right or wrong are almost always, at some level, illusions, approximating reality and guiding decisions in an uncertain world - which does not make them useless, just contextual. Profaning god in your bedroom can never be “wrong” - there is no one to hear you, no one to be hurt by it. You can only show something is really wrong from the intentions of the actions and their results.

So with that out of the way, lets talk about Knives Chau - and specifically, how the comic vs the anime handled that part of the story.

Scott Pilgrim vs The Reification of Dating a High Schooler

There is an extremely pervasive meme in Scott Pilgrim discourse that our titular Scott is a scumbag. Our returning whipping boy the Kotaku article loves this idea, describing Scott’s “detestable behavior” and wondering “was it too subtle the first time about Scott being an absolute shitbag?”. There is this viral headline screenshot from an interview floating around right now riding that same line:

Which is, of course, pretty much false. Its up to you in the end, “shitbag” is a subjective description, but the story just isn’t about events that would be described that way. Its the story of a guy getting over an awful ex, hurting some people, then meeting a new person, and realizing step-by-step what it takes to be their partner and levelling up as a person each time he does. He starts off broken, and Ramona of course is just as broken - getting better is their mutual arc. And its fundamentally about relationship drama - those stakes don’t make you a scumbag lol, just clueless, unless you are terminally online and don’t know what real stakes are.

I will let O’Malley get the last word in with his quote the writer of that interview is hilariously trying to torture into his headline:

There's a bit of, like, young people see Scott Pilgrim a certain way, and, you know, there's a lot of, like, 18-19-year-old fans that are really judgmental of the character. They're like, "Oh, he's a bad person. I would never do that." But I always tell them, like, get back to me when you're 25 or 30, tell me how your 20s went. Were you a bad person? Everyone has to make choices and do things in life that maybe they're not going to be proud of later.

Scott is a scumbag the way everyone is - you yourself will likely commit similar sins; that at least seems to be the authorial intent, and I agree with it.

So how does dating Knives Chau slot into this?

Despite the memes, age, in fact, is just a number - two consenting people dating does not a sin make. The reason dating underage people is bad is because of its consequences, not the categorical imperative. So what are the consequences of dating Knives Chau in the comic?

Knives is, as a consequence of dating a guy who is simply via his age able to appear so much cooler than her peers to her, absolutely obsessed with Scott. She worships his band:

She starts aping his taste in music and interests; she slots herself into his circle of friends, who don’t relate to her, even after their breakup (often drinking her way through it):

She totally spirals after he cheats on her and leaves her, blaming everyone but him; she is wounded and hurt for months, a year, over a relationship that lasted weeks:

Knives Chau is a literal poster child for why you should not date a high schooler. She is, at every turn, emotionally not ready to date someone who is not at her own level of social development, and is deeply affected by it. It is, sometimes, played for laughs - that is the nature of the comic, everything is played for laughs, but I would have given it a bit more dramatic space myself - but over the course of the story Scott himself realizes how much of an ass he was to her, and how he didn’t take what happened seriously.

The reason I view this with charity is what Scott did to lead to this - he met a cute girl on the bus! He was deeply hurt and kind of numb in life, and found someone who was safe and easy to talk to. He never attempts to kiss her (she starts trying to kiss him which he repeatedly rejects) they don’t even hold hands, and it lasted a few weeks. He knew deep down, pretty much immediately, it was fake:

Then he met an actual person he liked, and with some browbeating from Wallace agreed to break up with her, but chickened out for a day. Then the next day he decides to break up with her, and she drops the L bomb before he can, so he instantly ends it. It is really awkward for everyone involved.

Pushing off an awkward and uncomfortable conversation resulting from a dumb decision you made on a whim for a week - god I relate to that, that’s everyone! If you think it isn’t you I think you're lying. Its why this relationship is so interesting in the comic - Scott is always one step removed from it, putting it at abeyance, and the fact that something so minor to him is so destructive to her is a really good portrait of how these kinds of things happen. Its so easy to hurt someone when you don’t even know what the stakes are, and when its coming not from malice, but from weakness. Its a very good portrayal of a bad relationship because its bad in a relatable way, even if as a story is a bit more dramatic than is typical. And its a great portrayal of how fraught age gaps can be - this bad relationship is part of what makes the comic a good story.

But its 2023, we don’t give a shit about any of that anymore!

O’Malley in the same interview discusses the cultural shift around these kind of relationships:

I felt like in this day and age, I had to provide clarity on that [relationship]. Because when I wrote the first books, I took it for granted that people would understand that dating a high schooler was a bad thing. But on the internet, in this day and age, people are like, "He's dating a high schooler. That's terrible!" Like, that's pretty much what I say on page 1 of the book. But I try to spell it out a little bit more this time.

He isn’t telling the full story though - it was bad in 2004, but not bad the way it is today. Its dubiousness was mitigated by its frequency; people were doing this kind of shit all the time. Scott Pilgrim is a bass guitarist in an indie band; fucking groupies is like built into the cover charge. Half the problem Scott has in dating Knives is that she is the wrong kind of 17-year-old - had Scott met her at 1 am in the aftermath of a Born Ruffian’s concert at the Whippet Lounge knocking down shots off the back of her fake ID, no one would have even noticed. Hell, no one does notice; there is someone who actually makes out with a drunk 17-year-old Knives Chau in the comic Scott Pilgrim, and isn’t Scott Pilgrim:

No one cares about Kim’s inebriated petting session here; that is 10% because she is a Girl and Girls Can’t Be Predators, 40% because she isn’t the main character, and 50% because Kim Pine’s dating history is not a useful proxy battleground for GamerGate-adjacent nerd culture wars in ~2014; but that is road that goes directly to hell, so let's veer back.

The point, of course, is that in 2004 this is a crime flecked with normality, something your friend would do and you would maybe just cock an eyebrow at:

Its not that in discourse today - it is radically more condemned. It is not a contextual sin, but an original sin. It underwent a process I am calling reification - where it goes from being just a shifting descriptor of reality, to a thing in itself, with a defined (reified) meaning. And to be clear, that is in a lot ways on net a good thing? The reality is that, despite everyone’s protestations, there are today thousands of 17-year-olds taking the L line out to a gig at the Brooklyn Steel and going down on a 25-year-old guy they just met in a back alley off Frost St who swears he’s a “drummer in a sick new band” that played here “just last week”, he promises, and she is having a great time, bragging to her friends about how hot his tattoo was, and then shipping herself off to Cornell next year to start on her pre-med track with barely a memory. But for every dozen of those, there is at least one person who is deeply, deeply hurt, a Knives Chau who never deserved this. The rest can have a slightly worse time, its probably worth it.

That does not make it a categorical imperative, though - the reification has masked that truth. The crime comes from the context - those other girls aren’t victims, they would laugh at you for suggesting they were. But in 2023, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is no longer concerned with context. It is telling you, right to your face, that Scott is a bad dude. Over and over and over - jokes from the Evil League about “wow, I thought we were evil”, its not subtle.

Yet meanwhile, Knives Chau is, like, fine? She dates Scott, is totally into him, and then literally in the middle of his funeral forgets about him for Envy crashing it:

Picks up the bass and has yuri-inflected playtime with Kim the literal next day:

And less than a week later is pitching an off-broadway musical adaption of Scott’s life to a billionaire Matthew Patel - I can’t explain that okay, I’m as confused as you are.

She is mad at Scott, sure, but she is over it in a matter of days. Hell, notice how she was already a fan of the Clash at Demonhead now? There is no scene of Scott introducing her to his kind of music. He didn’t change her. By the end she is a member of his band and they are totally chill:

This is, again, about a week or two later.

Knives is not an important character in this show, way less than in the original, this is no grand sin. But I still find it very interesting: O’Malley is wrong. He “spells it out” way less in this version when it comes to the actual consequences of Scott’s actions. Everyone’s verbal condemnations are substitutes to replace the real damage his actions dealt in the comic. Scott is a better person this time, in a world that has universally agreed he is worse (still not a good move ofc). Even Scott’s moment of apology to Knives about their dating is so tepid its almost Straussian:

Its ‘frowned upon’…which is not the same thing as saying it was wrong! I don’t think this is intentional, its just funny, but its a nice capstone nevertheless.

And it had to be this way, not just for media in general, but for Scott Pilgrim in particular. Not only are sexual crimes far more reified today, but Scott Pilgrim’s sin of dating a high schooler is reified as well - its the first piece of discourse everyone encounters about it. Its the ur-debate of the franchise. The idea of actively engaging on this point, and digging deeper into it…its too hot, too controversial. Way better to shy away from it, disown it. The discourse wrote this part of the script over the course of a decade; its not something the creatives had any say in.

Honestly they should have just gone all the way - just make Knives 19. Then how tepid it is wouldn’t be a distraction anymore. Scott can just be an asshole for cheating on her, that would work fine. If you aren’t going to commit to the reality of these things, you shouldn’t bother with it at all.

[madebyrolo]

Holding me and holding back

⚘.

Pt.1 Rafe Cameron x pouge reader

Read pt.2 here!

she/her

Summary: summer fling with Rafe. Your typical kook vs pouge war but what if instead of gold it was love?

Obx masterlist

─── ʚɞ ⋅ ᯓᡣ𐭩 ⋅ ୨୧ ───

Walking through town with jj and Kiara. She's shopping while you and jj tag along, she has midsummer coming up, and even though she thinks it's just fascist bullshit she can't help but love dress shopping, she's just a girl.

You guys are in the 3rd store this afternoon, dress after dress Kiara still can't find the perfect one.

“How about this one?” jj said picking out a random dress from the rack.

“Jj you and I both know that's ugly.” Kiara said with a disappointed look.

“Ugh! I can't seem to find one decent enough dress. I'm gonna lose it.” Kiara said as she swiped through hanger after hanger.

“Why do you need a new dress you have plenty,” you asked walking around looking for a dress

“Because my mom said so, I can't keep wearing the same ones over and over ‘it looks wrong’ and I quote.” Kiara answers.

“And by that she means it looks poor.” you finish for her grabbing a dress from the rack and inspecting it before adding it to your pile.

“I don't blame you but we've been through so many stores and you still can't seem to find one dress.” you throw your head back still looking for a dress.

“Kie why do you even care about this dress, you'll wear it for like not even a few hours anyways.” jj said giving up and sitting on the couch taking his cap off.

“If I have to wear it, it's gonna be perfect.” Kiara said smacking her lips.

“Prech it girl.” you said from across the room.

Finally after 11 racks and 2 stacks of dresses, kie is finally in the dressing room.

“Heres this one, it's only better than the rest.” she said coming out from the curtains with a blue sequin dress.

“I mean it's cute-”

“For prom” jayj finishes your sentence.

“Yeah it seems much for midsummers” you say tilting your head.

“Ugh that's what I thought but I wasn't sure, the rest are as bad!” Kie groans looking at herself in the mirror.

“There's like 2 satin dresses I picked out, try one of those. Girls usually wear simple dresses.” you say laying back on the couch.

“Theres a light blue and purple, which one are we thinking?” she yells out.

“Lights blue” jj said with his face covered by hat.

“Mmm purple if you wear blue you're practiially matching with Rafe” you say looking at the celling unbothered

Until you hear the words Rafe come out your mouth.

“What do you mean matching with him? How do you know what he's going to wear?” Kiara asked popping her head out the curtain confused.

“And you've never been to midsummer too how do you know what they wear?” jj suspiciously asked.

Your eyes widen before you look at your friend on the couch trying not to become flustered before opening your mouth to lie the best you ever could.

“Uh cause kies mom always post a family pic on Facebook and I stalk for fun when Im bored. I see some girls in the background..” you come up with, its true the stalking part so did you technically lie?

“Oh yeah you do I remember when you accidently liked John bs old post” jj laughed at himself.

“You were so petrified even though you were literally sitting in the chateau with him across the room.” jj pushes you in the side.

“Even though he's our friend it's embarrassing when someone finds out you stalk them!” you defending yourself.

“What did you mean by the Rafe thing tho” jayj asked.

“Its blue, Rafe 100% is gonna wear it cause ‘it matches his eyes’ " you said the last part dramatic

“Yeah he is a self observed prick” kie said shutting the curtain continuing to try on dresses.

You sit back in relief, letting out a deep breath after almost getting caught by your friends.

The only reason you knew what he was wearing is because you were there. You helped him pick it out and when he was having it tailored in the living room of tannyhill.

*ੈ𑁍༘⋆

—flashback—

You and Rafe were riding on a ferry on the way to the mainland. You were wearing a sundress with him in a matching polo shirt and khakis, both in ray bans he'd bought you.

He said his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he talked to you about the times he's snuck out and come to the mainland with him and his boys, with fake IDs and college parties they wessled their way in.

“Yeah and then Kelce was hooking up with a girl and then the cops came and we had to run! He got so pissed and yelled out cock blocking pigs!” he said chucking too himself.

You giggling finding the story funny but couldn't help but feel bad as you felt the buzzing of your phone that were obviously texts from your friends you canceled on.

“Whos texing you?” Rafe asked

“Just my friends” you say adjusting in the seat and grabbing your phone from your purse. Seeing notifications of the group chat of the pouches.

──────────────────────

⌞ Pope hitting the Dougie. ⌝

────────────────────────────────────

What does the j stand for: Y/n don't you think we should at least have some kid balloons? Like dinosaurs or shit like that??

Kiki do you love me : its a highschool party.

What does the j stand for: and my birthday.

Hope 🥺: I don't see the problem with silly balloons 😲

Johnathan : I would go for the balloons but its a no for me cause the one jj wants is practically half a case of a beer 🤑

What does the j stand for: just say you don’t love me 🥲

You: I’m on the mainland I’ll buy some for your here. Their cheaper here anyways.

What does the j stand for: AYEE 😘

You: Hate you jay ☺️

What does the j stand for: y/n to save the day once again.

Kiki do you love me: favoritism 🙄

Hope 🥺: he’s just the birthday boy

Johnathan: he's just a girl.

💬

──────────────────────

“Youre gone for a day and their loosing their minds” He says with a smirk hugging you tighter

“Yeah they were planning Jj's birthday party today too. I told them to let me know if there's anything I can do while I'm gone but they said not to worry about it but as you can tell I think they're worrying.” you chuckled to yourself playing with your fingers.

“Jayjs party?” he scoffed “and I didn't get an invite?”

“Its at John bs place and besides even if you did get an invite you wouldn't even go. Thought you couldn't stand pouges” you looked at him

“And yet here we are..” he said before going in for a slow and passionate kiss.

The kiss was sweet. It tasted like mint gum and candy that you both shared. You couldn't lie to yourself, you loved these sweet moments with Rafe but you had to keep reminding you self that none of this was real. None of it was real.

Well it couldn't be anyways.

—end of flashback—

After kie finally picked the dress which was the purple satin one, you guys finally hit up a restaurant for lunch.

You guys sat in a booth and were handed menus by the waiter.

“Should we just get a pizza and split?” you offered

“Sure but we gotta get fries too” jj said looking through the menu.

After a couple of minutes getting your drinks and waiting for the food you guys were talking and jj hogging the fires.

Jj was smiling until the bell jingled and someone came in. He looked up and pure hatred took over his face.

“And look what the draft brought in.” he said throwing his fry in the basket.

You all looked up to see the one and only Rafe walk in. Wearing the Ray bans and his stupid (yet cute) button-up. He looked around and spotted jj, squinting his eyes and then placing a fake smile before coming up.

You groaned and slid down into your seat knowing what was about to come up.

“Ugh what does he want.” kie said giving dirty looks.

“Well well well, didn't know they served anchovie pizza here?” he said with his famous smirk, gabbing a chair and pulling it up.

“What do you want Rafe.” kie spat out

“Well I came for pizza cause its a pizza place..” he said smiling “didn't know pouges would be on my side of the island.” he said with any sign of fake happiness gone.

Him and Kie locked eyes practically having a staring contest.

You spoke up to hopefully ease the tension.

“Rafe I think your pizza is ready.” you said moving your eyes to the pizza sitting on the counter.

His eyes moved to you completely softening, but still had the hate look on his face. Complete whiplash it gave you.

“Didnt see you there princess.” he said looking you up and down.

“Okay you can go now.” jj shewed Rafe away.

“Don't want your pizza getting cold.” kie said.

You rolled your eyes, the typical kook vs pouge shit Rafe pulls. Rafe eyes linger on jj, then kie giving them looks that could kill. Soon he gets uo pushing the chair back, he goes up pays for the pizza. As he waits for the cashier to arrive he turns back around staring at your table.

“God he's so insufferable.” Kie says as the pizza arrives and you all start to dig in.

“Oh you got some sauce on your face princess” jayj says as he wipe the sauce off with his thumb.

Rafe watches jj as he licks his thumb and gets the smallest bit of sauce on your face

Didn't even need a napkin, could've just swiped it off yourself Rafe thinks to himself.

Soon the cashier arrives and handles the transaction. Finishing up Rafe huff out the store with the pizza. he gets to his car slamming the door and handing the pizza to Sarah who was in the passenger seat.

“Jeez what's your problem” she looks at her brother with a judgmental look.

“Those damn pouges.” Rafe talked through trough his teeth staring the truck.

“Let me guess, jj was sitting inside enojing a slice of pizza and minding his own business.” Sarah said smacking her lips.

“And Kiara.” he said looking at staah knowing the name would cause some spark.

“God that bitch.” Now the girl matching his energy.

“Hmm her cars right there…” Rafe said pointing to her blue nissan.

“Toolbox is in the back,” Sarah mentioned slyly.

Back in the restaurant the group of kids were eating and laughing when y/n got a notification. She picked up her phone looking at the Lock Screen.

Apple Pay Rafe 🕶️ sent $150: Get an Uber.

Y/n sighed in her spot, obviously her mood being ruined when another notification came.

Apple Pay Rafe 🕶️ sent $100: More Napkins wouldn’t hurt.

Y/n shocked her head and put her phone back down shaking the thoughts away as she focused on jayj talking about night surfing later.

After an hour you guys finally finshed, you took the bill because with the $250 you now had should be going to the dinner Rafe ruined. Or was about too.

As you all walk out towards the parking lot, you see Kiara’s care with all 4 tires popped.

“That fucking asshole!” Kid said running up to her car looking at the damage he caused.

“Kooks always win.” jj said taking his hat and ruffling his hair

“What the fuck am I gonna tell my parents ?” Yk said bending down and checking her tires.

so that was the Uber was for.

30 minutes later a tow truck and Kiara’s parents are surround the mechanic dude talking about prices and damage as you guys sit on concrete side walk.

“Can’t believe Rafe would actually do this. What would even prevoke him to do damage this bad?” Kie said with her head in her hands feeling completely defeated.

“It’s Rafe, not like he needs any reason to terrorize us. We were just eating pizza man.” jj said laying against the brick wall of the restaurant.

“You guys wanna Uber out of here? I’ll pay.” You offered feeling bad. It felt like your fault.

“No I have to go home, my parents are absolutely are gonna flip out on me.” Kie said closing her eyes whining.

“Jay?” You asked

“Where do you have the money for an Uber?” Jj asked.

“Extra shifts I guess, do you want a ride or not?” You ask one last time.

“Yeah yeah I’ll go with you.” he agreed.

Soon enough you’re in the Uber, you and jj are in the back seat. He’s looking out the window as you text your parents jj was coming over. As you sent the text you grab your sunglasses in your bag and putting them on to block out the sun for a quick nap.

“So where are you getting all this extra cash?” Jj asked suspiciously.

“I work and save up jay. Saving up means I don’t spend my whole paycheck at the smoke shop.” You lied.

“Those are raybans. I thought you said you didn’t like wasting your money on materialistic stuff” he asked pointing to the glasses.

“They were on sale, and besides I can't own at least one nice thing jj?” you say avoiding eye contact.

“You picked up the whole check and now the uber-”

“Jj enough! I don't feel like being integrating by my own best friend. I work okay? I save up and am able to have these extra things.” you scoffed

“Okay okay chill out..” jayj let go of the topic.

Soon the 20-minute ride to the opposite side of the island's finally came to an end. You and jj got out with him follow you into your house and straight to your room.

“Are you staying the night?” you asked putting your purse and shoes to the side.

“Mhm probably not, I gotta work at the dock early in the morning.” he said grabbing his secret stash of weed and joint paper behide the picture of you and the pouges.

“Your welcome to join me?” he said opening your window and beging to roll a joint.

“No thanks jay” you say crashing down on your bed and opening up insta.

As you scroll through stories you end up on Rafes with him at the country club playing golf with his friends in the morning, then a few drinks, then him and Sarah with a screw driver with fake smiles caption with “🐟🛞”

Confirmed.

As soon as you get off a insta you get a text.

──────────────────────

Rafe 🕶️

──────────────────────

Rafe 🕶️: just saw you viewed my stories

You: stalker

Rafe 🕶️: Whatever, come over tonight and bring extra clothes

You: sleepover?

Rafe 🕶️: yes ☠️☠️☠️

You: mhm alr

You: see you later ❤︎

*Rafe 🕶️ hearted a message*

──────────────────────

You close your phone and turn over to jayj who’s in his own little world.

You began thinking to yourself, are you really gonna let Rafe get away with basically destroying Kiara’s car? And now he’s acting like nothing happened?

These are the moments where your morals stand in line. You know hooking up with Rafe, who all the pouges hate and you can’t blame them.

The sneaking around is fun and the sex is amazing.

It’s completely wrong.

Your typical forbidden love, Romeo and Juliet type shit.

But is it even love?

It’s a simple summer fling, but you know it’s more than that.

─── ʚɞ ⋅ ᯓᡣ𐭩 ⋅ ୨୧ ──

I got pt.2 in my drafts all ready to go 😈

Sorry for any typos.

Yall ate up my first smut 😲

[sukioyakio]

Yandere nerd!miguel

this isn't about the famous nerd!Miguel that @nymphomatique made,but yall should go over to her, and read her storys)‼️‼️🤭😔😖💅just another thought lingering in my mind. I did not pro read,so sorry for the mistakes

Where nerd!miguel is kinda (very) popular around campus,with his height being like an building,and his semi built body,of course he was going to be popular but the only thing that people would say that bad is his nerdy looking face,but even with it,it not bad.

But every popular students is bond to have bullies,and nerd!miguel has these bullies.Who were jealous of him,that he was going out with girls,talking to them,and going out to party's with the guys.

One day he getting bullied behind the school building,he getting punched,kicked,pulled, tossed away,but he has an unfazed face,as his nose is bleeding from one of the people who were bully him,and this is where you came from,you who were lucky enough to have come towards his way,As you heard some people laughing,and talking.you got curious and walked an little more and saw the bullies punching nerd!miguel, as she took out her phone and recording them doing this,for an short while,and then yelled at them.

"Hey!!what the fuck is wrong with yall!?! Do y'all seriously think beating up someone is going to get you guys anywhere?!" She says with an serious tone of voice,as she quickly got their attention, as they soon stop what they doing

"Haha..how about you go mind your business and continued to walk,right little girl? One of the bullies say to her,as he rolled his eyes at her words.nerd!miguel who was looking at reader,and recalls never seeing her before in the campus," maybe an new student" he says to himself,but something about her pulls him towards her

"Hehehe..you guys really want to do this for your third year of college? You literally have no fucking life .You guys have 5 seconds to leave before I post this recording online and to the principal and y'all parents" she says with an very serious tone of voice and a sarcastic smirk on her lips,as she put her hands in her jacket pockets,and stand there,waiting.

"she look like she w-wasn't kidding about it" the other guys says in an nervous way, "yo, I think I'm going,because I don't want my college degree being mess up" he says as he starts to walked away with an scoffs,as the other two did the same thing as well,not wanting to have their college degree mess up.

After they left she went up to Nerd!miguel,and blend down to miguel,which he was sitting on the ground with an bloody nose and one of his cheeks were purple.As she touch his wound,and looked at miguel and noticed that his glasses are broken, "hey are you ok?can you see me?" She says in an worry yet concerned voice about his wounds,nerd!miguel swear she sounds like an angel,so beautiful and her face was something that made him feel alive,like he heart beat for the first time,he just nodded in response.

As reader swear she saw something change in his eyes,but shake the thought. "Are you able to walk?,umm mr-" she says with an concern voice and got interpret by him "miguel ohara . . . and yea ill be able to walk" he says in an casual voice as if he didn't get beat up an few second ago, "well ok miguel ohara,let go so you can get checked by the nurse" she says with an calm voice and extend her hand in front of him,nerd!miguel just fell in love with her,the way you said his name was so sweet,like pure honey,an angelic voice, he had to hear you more,he had to have you,he had to make you His,make you Mine.

QUote : by my friend

“if you wish hard enough it will come true in an unexpected way”

✌️

I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT

Sneaky link

[plutonianeris]

pick a pile: how you secretly intimidate others ⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️

♱☾pile one☽

“don’t call me baby! im not your baby!”

you intimidate others with your individuality. There’s something about you that’s very weird or kind of quirky. not in the “oh im not like other gwurls 🤪” cringey way. but rather you’re kind of blunt even when you don’t mean to be other people might think that what you say is too harsh or direct. This seems to be some thing that might throw off men as well but at the same time it’s also make some desire you. That free spirit can be seen as something that other people want in their life but it’s not always with the best intentions. It’s kind of like they want you to fulfill something for them. Kind of like to conquer you in a way. But it seems like that literally never happens because instead, you’re literally a tower moment for other people in their lives.

Just by being you, you unconsciously force other people to reflect on certain things in their life. you guys people specifically to reflect on their insecurities, and also their childhood. You could find that people, especially women project onto you. they could look at you and mumble under their breath or too each other like “what the fuck is their problem” or talk about how you think you “know it all”

it seems like people are just really intimidated by your knowledge and what you have to share with other people. you might have some Aquarius placements. Whether what you share with others is topics about religion or spirituality or “taboo” subjects, other people could be thrown off by your words, while at the same time secretly want to hear more.

this pile, gave off a lot of scorpio and/or aries and/ or libra & taurus energy and 8th house/ pluto aspects energy. when I asked about qualities people associate with you I got “ regeneration, suspicion, passion, beautiful, art, experimentation, intelligent, creativity, wisdom.” 🕯️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile two☽

“no, I’m killing boys.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you can rise from the ashes and transform completely after going through super traumatic shit. The way you seem to be able to recover from stuff that can be straight out of someone’s nightmare and manage to come out on top is inspiring but also it makes other people feel insecure. pile two, other people seem to think that you somehow just “get lucky” when something really good happens to you. People might think that you didn’t have to work that hard for it. They could secretly send you evil eye and think oh I wish that would’ve happened to me instead..

shit I’m not gonna lie I feel in awe and a little shook reading these cards describing your energy. you are literally an alchemist. You transform everything you touch and you transform after every experience with a lot of grace and harmony. lmfaoo the quote from “what? like its hard” from legally blonde popped up. The thing is that it actually is hard but you’ve been doing it for so long. There’s no other way for you to really function. You manage to continuously strengthen your spirituality over and over again.

and there’s a certain element of privacy that you also keep when it comes to your home life and the space you live in and also in regards to what you’re even thinking. It kind of leaves people in constant speculation of who you are what you actually do or where you even live. but this privacy seems necessary to you, sacred to you actually. Your personality, ego, and the way you view yourself are in a constant state of fluctuation. But never in a way that ends up being super detrimental to you. even when you “mess up” you learn something and get better.

you are someone that is very strong and I don’t wanna say that like in a corny “omg ur saiuuir strong u went through so much :(“ pity way. I literally mean just a very unique kind of perseverance within your spirit where time after time you just can’t be knocked down. And other people wonder about that, but they’re not even close to being able to dissect it & that intimidates them.

You could be someone that has a lot of 12th house or fourth house placements, as well as Jupiter, Sagittarius, or Pluto prominent in the chart. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “independent, knowledgeable, transformation, roots, subconscious, potential, hope” 🔐

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile three☽

“how do you feel about yourself now stupid motherfucker? you couldve had some pussy.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you run shit. You have a very straightforward and innovative, and out of the box solution for many of the obstacles you face in life. Similar to pile 2 there is resentment in response to the way you succeed. But when it comes to you it’s more because of the way you do things. people might think “oh it’s not fair that they did it that way and won..” but in reality, you have a unique power being able to bounce back really fast from shit. you don’t mind being someone brand new every single day or changing your habits or routines, or the way you connect with people were your resources very quickly.

In fact, you’re constantly flowing in these spaces of rebirth and attatchment and security. and that intimidate people because they wonder well how is it possible that you’re changing your character and your appearance and your own self all the time and YOU dont care if people label it as a fake or weird. Like I’m not gonna lie this piles giving off someone who has such a range of random aesthetics that ppl r like seeing u as someone who dresses up or is wearing a costume when in reality you just feel transformed by your experiences so frequently.

its giving “im not the person who i was yesterday” so don’t try it today energy. it intimidates people that you’re not ashamed of changing your mind and being like “ well actually I used to like that and now I don’t like it anymore, so can you please respect the boundaries I set up now.”

you TRUST yourself. and not only does that intimidate people but it also makes them MAD. chiron aka trauma, wounds, healing, pain etc popped up, so it doesn’t mean that all your life you had this confidence or ability to listen to yourself and your intuition. If anything you suffered a lot and had a period of time (especially in childhood) were you were taught to not listen to yourself or your intuition. where you were told that if you showed leadership and willpower, and if you used your anger and embraces your anger, that bad things would happen.

But then, finally, you did and you realized that you get so much more from life when you show people how to treat you from the start. And other people want to be able to do that. And you securely inspire them to do that but it’s also a mixture of envy as well thats included in those feelings toward you. oh well. protect your peace! you could be someone that has aries, first house, 8th house and 2nd house placements. 888 also popped up if that has any significance to you. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “secure, possessive, leader, warrior, loyal.”⚖️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

© plutonianeris 🕷

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hey! This is a little silly but I have a request. One of my mutuals had her birthday a few days ago, but I had no time to prepare anything for her (the little shit literally told me just YESTERDAY, yeah, still mad at that one). Since your work is amazing, may I request a oneshot/headcanons (whichever you want) based on her post? (https://www.tumblr.com/lumar014ad/736193443690430464/imagine-that-youre-a-druidwizardwarlock-with-a)

Sorry if it's too personal, I just want to do something nice for her and this is the only thing I can think of. Thanks for hearing me out anyways :)

Hi! Thank you for your request! I usually do requests in the order I get them but since it's a special occasion I be like (quote) "How could I say no?"

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Tav!Cat Owner

As long as you can remember, you've loved cats.

Some may say, they are lazy assholes no one would want to have, but you disagree.

Cats are independent. They require unconditional love. If a cat loves you, it means a lot.

Unfortunately, the life of an adventurer isn't good for cat. A dog? Maybe, but cats need a stable home.

But cats choose their owners, not the other way around.

A tiny kitten, only three weeks old, yells desperately in the sewers. The second the findling is put on the ground, he climbs you and purrs.

"Well, I suppose, now you are mine."

Black and fluffy, but fierce. You call the little guy "Wyvern". Wyv, for short.

But the moment you put Wyv inside your travel jacket, you are kidnapped by the Mindflayers.

Shocked and scared, you make sure they don't notice the kitten, hiding him under your shirt.

You search your way to freedom. The kitten stays quiet all the time.

But hissing violently when he senses the danger ahead.

He somehow survives the fall with you but he looks at you with this face "wtf, I just wanted to be safe."

But Wyv, surprisingly, likes living on the road with you. He sits in your jacket or on your shoulder causing loud "awwwws" from strangers.

"This is Wyvern! I found him in the sewers!"

"Did you toss a coin to choose this name for a cat?" Astarion isn't impressed but even he admits the cat has a temper of a dragon.

As for Astarion, he loves cats. But animals fear the Undead. Especially cats since they can smell the reek of death.

But to his own surprise, Wyvern doesn't mind Astarion's company.

More than that, he constantly tries to sit on the vampire's shoulder or just yells until Astarion takes him in his cold hands.

"Please, Tav, take your animal back. He screams like a drunk goblin"

"Because he is hungry", you shrug. "Oh come on! Do me a favor - I feed you every night, you can manage to feed my cat!"

For some unknown reason, Wyv wants Astarion's attention - and even sleeps in his tent.

One evening, you notice Astarion meditating while the cat is purring loudly on his chest. Astarion's face is peaceful and you know this night won't bring him nightmares.

You see it as a sign. You were hesitant to suggest sharing the tent together but since Wyvern has already moved there why not follow his example?

And you can't stop thinking about that Astarion and Wyvern have very much in common.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

hear me out... jjk characters at the cookout

jjk characters at the cookout

tags: headcanons, gn!reader, black!reader a/n: honestly this sent me into an intellectual overdrive. the hold jjk has on the black community needs to be studied

suguru

bro says "monkey" one time and gets jumped

he's pretty chill

suguru can take a joke and toss them right back with a grin and feel completely relaxed

he is punctual when he wants to leave thouh and will side eye if you told him "we're gonna leave" and you're still there an hour later

overall he enjoys himself. family is important to him so it means a lot to suguru to be included and accepted by yours

your older relatives might ask a bit about his gauges but he's classy enough that it doesn't matter by the end of the conversation. suguru is quite charming when he wants to be

yuuji

"i like em tall with a fat ass like megan thee stallion"

yuuji won over your cousins pretty much immediately with one take and one take alone

you leave yuuji alone for one second and the mf has a coordinated dance with them and your family is hyping them up

your family would honestly adore yuuji, he fits right in

he had them in a loving death grip when he said he was ready for the collard greens, beans, potatoes, tomatoes, lamb, ram, hog mog

falls right into the trap of staying way longer than you planned even though you started saying your goodbyes 45 minutes ago

can perfectly quote katt william's "whose goddamn white baby is this?" scene

promises to bring his older brothers to the next family get together

the guy your aunties call 'baby' with all the affection in the world

somehow knows all the dances? candy by cameo comes on and an uncle goes "what you know about this right here, young buck?"

passed his test with ease. like, do not come to the next get together without yuuji. they will notice

megumi

he wouldn't realize that your family is just teasing and wonder if they legitimately don't like him until you reassure him it's just familial roasting. just say something dumb right back, megumi

has to be dragged out the corner to really interact with anybody else

megumi isn't really a party person and an extrovert but due to most of his close circle being extroverted, he does know how to manage his energy so he isn't completely drained after a short while of being there

answers all questions about your relationship seriously and sincerely

megumi might be quiet but your family likes his honesty. bring his ass back next time

satoru

honorary light skin

toji

honorary dark skin

kento

the man your cousins wish they had; he's literally the epitome of "as a man, you should be doing x, y and z". you know it and when you bring him over, your family knows it

he helped with the dishes without even being prompted and hearts were stolen

being a foodie, kento will be grabbing seconds and knowing your family he won't be leaving empty handed either

he's invited to breakfast by your mom before you leave

mostly needs to be sought out for interactions like megumi. he won't turn anyone away, he welcomes the conversations he's just not a big go getter

you can convince him to dance when a slow jam comes on and enjoys how your face lights up in recognition when older songs your parents played in your childhood comes on

like yuuji, if you don't bring kento to the next family get together don't even bother coming because they'll ask over and over again why he couldn't make it

satoru fr this time

his ass cannot stay out of the banana pudding. so much so, most of the leftovers you take home are just containers of it. says he'll leave you if you don't learn the family recipe

like suguru, satoru can handle your family's teasing and he teases right back

let's your younger cousins wear his sunglasses if they ask

"wait if they're called tony toni toné why aren't none of them called tony?" "satoru please don't ask this right now" "no because-"

if they didn't know you were dating someone before you brought satoru over, they'd definitely know when he arrives. he's always draped over you and he's happy to let the world know

when pulled to the side to ask if he's serious about the relationship, satoru's usual bravado drops to tell your relative calmly he's 100% serious

he's a good time. dances even if he doesn't know the songs, sings along when he does and he'll leave somehow knowing everyone's names when you don't even remember half of who showed up

toji fr this time

fits in surprisingly well, your family is a hell of a lot better than his

tall, charismatic, got a deep voice and big feet. you and your cousins will be gossiping and swooning about it

toji is no stranger to being on a family's least favorite list. he's got plenty experience from his relatives, he only cares that megumi and tsumiki are treated well when he brings them along. if they're treated right, toji has no problems

danced with a good chunk of your aunties, your mom and a cousin or two in order to cement winning them over successfully but you got the most dances out of all of them

"someone's been quite busy, mr i don't care if they like me or not" "i don't but it doesn't hurt to gain approval anyway. your aunt virginia already invited me to her son's wedding" "i haven't even gotten my invite to quan's wedding yet" "sounds like i'm the family favorite to me"

[pettydollie]

reader with her period while the triplets are rec - chris sturniolo

a/n: if u have not already seen this post, it's a short explanation of what my reader for this au will be like :) wc: 654

“hey guys welcome back to the sturniolo triplets,” nick began recording. he explained what the video was going to be about when chris interrupted him. “the reason yn isn’t here is because she’s on her ‘lady days’, as she says.” he grinned, air quoting your words.

“oh my gosh. LET ME TELL YOU.” nick yells, matt and chris giggling at the outburst. “she’s so mean when she’s on periodd.” he groans as matt smacks him on the arm. “shut the fuck up idiot, she can hear you.”

“i swear to god she’s such a grump. like fucking bigfoot whenever she enters a room, fee fi fo fum, bitches.”

“she’ll probably come in and out of the video, just sayin’” matt said, leaning forward against the marble counter. a few minutes later, you walked in with a fuzzy blanket wrapped around your body and went straight to the fridge.

“babyyy” chris cooed and wrapped his arms around your waist to rest his chin on your shoulder. you grabbed a jar of dill pickles and turned around, shutting the fridge door. “hi” you chirped, kissing his cheek.

you handed the jar to your boyfriend to open while nick made a disgusting screech after drinking coconut water. you walked over to the dishwasher to grab a fork as chris opened the jar and put it on the counter.

“next, next, next!” nick rushed. you grabbed your pickles and sat down behind the camera, watching them. you were crunching on those pickles pretty loudly, to which matt scrunched his nose. “dude, stop!” he yelled, covering his ears. you giggled and apologized softly. you leaned to the camera and chewed slowly. “asmr..” you whispered.

"you wanna play?" matt asks you after chris ate easy cheese. you shook your head. "nooo thanks. i'm good here." you continued eating. "pickles give me the ick." nick playfully scowled. you rolled your eyes. "YOU give me the ick. it's so hot, gosh." you shrug the hello kitty blanket off your shoulders and onto the back of the chair.

"hey, be nice." chris pointed, jokingly. you stuck your tongue out and got up. you walked to the counter, grabbing one of the bi-flavored pudding cups before walking into your room. "ewww how can she like thatt" nick gags.

you shriek from the room. "EWWUHH what iss thattt??" you ran out and latched onto chris' arm. "what happened?" he chuckled. "is it a bug??" nick gags again. "no, it was like a lizard mutant or something." you shivered, slightly smiling. "a 'mutant' is crazy." matt shakes his head chuckling as he walks into your room and steps on the lizard before running out.

normally, you dont really care about bugs getting into your room, no matter the size. you'd just kill it, who cares? but a LIZARD? nonono not happening, no thanks.

nick grabbed the camera and walked over to your door where matt was panicking. "it's literally this big." he showed with his hands. you scrunch your face in disgust. "kill it." you push chris into the room. he grabs a tissue from his nightstand and chases it. nick laughs as he catches the whole thing on camera.

finally, after a few minutes, chris kills it successfully. "am i a hero or what?" he jokes, throwing the tissue in the trash. "I really thought it was gonna crawl in a hole, good job." matt smacks his hand on chris' back. you grab ahold of chris' hand and lean into his side. he wraps an arm around your waist tightly. "can we get back to the challenge now?"

"noo you guys can finish it tomorrow." you whined, dragging your boyfriend back into the room. "what? no, cmon." matt drops his arms to his side. "alright whatever, i dont really care. but not tomorrow, lets do it in like an hour or two, okay?" nick turned off the camera and started putting food away.

"okay bye!"

a/n: RUSHED IM SORRY i just feel rlly bad for leaving you guys alone. im gonna tag ppl who liked my last chris post :) if u dont want me to tag u, pleasee let me know!! u can comment or msg me a/n 2: edited finally. reading this unedited really annoyed me lol, im glad i finally fixed this mess.

tags: @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @idontexistman @alana37592 @bigfatattentionwhore @oversturn @ifilwtmfc @rororosieposts @jdswifee @alexaalikee @caryst555 @sebastiansaho20

[iamcautiouslyoptimistic]

🦅Russell Adler Headcanons

{Author's Note} Since I'm literally obsessed with this man, I thought I'd post my headcanons for him. All of these are based off of his canon backstory and character with bits of my own speculation thrown in so nothing should be too out of left field here. I may end up posting more of my thoughts on him soon so we shall see. Hope y'all like it and I'd love to hear what you think, as well as any headcanons you guys might have! Tagging @littlemissclandestine for this since she's an Adler fan. Let me know if I did this man justice lol🤭

‼️Content Warning: swearing, suggestive themes‼️

~ ~ ~

-Badass asshole

-Takes awhile for him to soften enough to really love someone

-Flirtatious jerk when he has a crush

-Shows he cares through small actions that can be hard to notice, as well as vague, rather backhanded compliments

-Shamelessly stares from behind those glasses of his

-Thinks it’s really cute when you wear his shades but would never admit it

-Stylish with heavy 70s influence

-Probably modeled for a male fashion magazine at some point LMAO

-Definitely knows how to dance

-Seems like the type to meme a bit on British people (specifically Park lol)

-Very sarcastic, sometimes to the point that you don’t realize he’s actually joking because he's always so monotone

-Secretly loves Belgian waffles (this is a reference to that one Bruce Thomas TikTok lol)

-Has a soft spot for the Beach Boys (I mean, look at that 🎶bushy, bushy blonde hairdo🎶 of his)

-Since so many people have asked and teased him about it (I see y'all in the fandom and I will not accept this slander lol) -> his hair isn’t fake, it’s actually pretty soft, very bouncy, he likes styling it

-Very particular about his appearance as it is one of the few things that he can truly control

-Prefers cats over dogs

-Can get obsessive about certain things and lose himself to them (i.e. his search for Perseus) -> Mason quote: “He spent so long searching for Perseus, he didn’t notice when he lost himself.”

-Still struggles with PTSD from his time in Vietnam, which, alongside his obsession with finding Perseus, is what led to his divorce

-Carries a lot of guilt and regret that he doesn’t like to acknowledge

-Started smoking to cope with the trauma of war, now has a nicotine addiction; when he’s really stressed, he chain smokes like a chimney

-Gets restless if he doesn’t have a cigarette

-Doesn’t sleep well and when he does, he usually wakes up every few hours

-Scars - Shrapnel? Abuse? Torture? Animal attack? No one knows and he’ll never tell

-Kiss or trace those scars and he WILL melt

-Difficult for him to let his guard down

-Has a tendency to isolate himself -> Mason quote: "You were never alone, Adler. Only in your own stubborn head."

-Always wearing those damn glasses cuz STYLE but also to hide his eyes to remain as a sort of blank, emotionless slate to other people

-Absent parents who never showed him real love or support as he grew up so he struggles to do the same for others -> they were the reason he joined the army as soon as he turned 18

-When it comes to cuddling, he loves holding you against his chest and running his fingers along your arm, cheek, or through your hair; small but intimate actions like that are his favorite

-Doesn’t like to show emotions at all, even during more intimate moments; he needs some coaxing to relax in that way, which takes time

NSFW Below👇🏻 (it's really not too bad tho)

-Sit on his lap👀

-Will pin your wrists during the sexy times🫣

-EDGING & OVERSTIMULATION

-After his divorce, he's tended to view sex as more of a transaction where both parties are fulfilling needs for each other so he'd be selfish at first but as your relationship progresses, he'd become far more generous

[hubristicassholefight]

Swordswoman Showdown Semifinals

Hornet (Hollow Knight) vs Brienne of Tarth (A Song Of Ice and Fire)

(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")

Propaganda below cut

Hornet

Technically its not a sword but she wields a needle in a setting where swords do not exist and she wields it in an exceedingly swordlike fashion so. She counts; Girlboss demigoddess spider lady. She's been protecting an entire kingdom for longer than many of the other characters have been alive. She systematically kills her siblings for being too weak. She's simply the best.

#im pretty sure hornet can beat like. anyone in a fight.#have you ever fought hornet#its so fucking hard getting past her every time i play hk i go literally insane.

#i remember getting stuck on the first hornet fight on mt first play through and bring likr#''omg the boss fights in this are so hard!!!''#like what. you're not even half way through what are you talking about#you can't even DASH honey. you don't know what's diffcult or not in this game.

So, SPOILERS

but I feel like the "she systematically kills her siblings" part needs a little clarification. See, one of her siblings was used as a living prison for an angry god and that uh. Didn't work out for the sibling in question or anyone else.

This account is itself heavily abbreviated but it's likely that any other sibling Hornet encounters will be trying to take over as the god's new prison. She appears to challenge any sibling she sees to battle, in order to test their resolve against herself and her needle - would they actually have a chance against that god?

We never actually see her kill any siblings, but she does quite pointedly tell one of them that (to paraphrase) "My needle is lethal and I would feel no sadness in a weakling's demise."

Feels like a relevant quote. In any case, if they can't beat Hornet, it seems like her needle would be a far more merciful end than what the god would grant.

Anyway, a bit of additional material for @swordswomanshowdown :

As is the case for any cool swordswoman, it's not just her sword that's lethal, it's her with it. And Hornet's needle was custom made for her - the creators have said that, while other needles exist, hers was made specifically for her to wield, and its construction allows her to use her spider silk better in combat.

And another thing that I think makes her a good swordswoman: she's actually pretty thoughtful about how she uses it. There's a least one instance where she tries to warn someone off before fighting them! At the same time, when she does fight, she seems to enjoy it - during her boss battles, you can hear her laugh sometimes, as if exhiliarated. She's really got it all, as a swordswoman!!!

#HORNET SWEEP CMON PLEEEEEEASE#shes gay. shes the only sibling with a gender. shes a spider named HORNET. look like croissant. whats not to like

Brienne

Brienne

gets gifted a sword made with the rarest metal ever because she’s THAT good; she’s simply the best

Brienne is one of the top sword users alive in her day. She's descended from a man who's catchphrase was "I'm better with a sword." Better than what? You. Jaime Lannister. Loras Tyrell. Any five given guys at once. She has a fantastic sword that might be magic or cursed and is named Oathkeeper because that's what she does; I love her

Beat like 20 guys in a tournament when she was 19. Was given a magic sword. Won a sword fight against the premier swordsman in the realm. Very swordly; Very tall and strong. Holds her sword in high esteem. Accomplished with other weapons as well!

She's defeated multiple of the top knights in the series in duels. One such knight gifts her the fabergé egg of swords and she uses it to defend orphans and stuff. Got out of a bad betrothal by dueling him and beating his ass so bad she broke multiple bones. Honestly there's so much more she is the swordswoman of all time. to me; She's buff and ugly and 6' 5" and so honorable and kind that she inspires the guy who fucks his sister to yknow. stop doing that. literally gets mauled for the sake of protecting a bunch of orphans (with her sword). also she's 20 she should be at the club ‼️

One of the best sword wielders in Westeros, the author says he would pick her to defend him. Has a cool sword called Oathkeeper. Manages to go up against 7 fighters and take out most of them,. The only true knight; First off, talking about book brienne, they massacred show brienne, the show runners simply didn’t understand what she’s about.“ She had no chance against seven, she knew. No chance, and no choice” brienne had plenty of choice but she couldn’t leave people to die. The chivalric paradigm is rotten and corrupted, but here is Brienne, the one true knight, who isn’t even a actual knight! “knights are for killing”, but here is a knight who risks her life again and again to protect innocents! Bri IS hope, she is the light in the dark that shows that things can be better, things must be better. Fundamentally an idealist: “Winter will never come for the likes of us. Should we die in battle, they will surely sing of us, and it's always summer in the songs. In the songs all knights are gallant, all maids are beautiful, and the sun is always shining”

#BRIENNE WON A MELEE WHEN SHE WAS 19 !!!!!#DONT LET HER LOSE

#MORE LOVE FOR BRIENNE#SHE FOUGHT A DAMN BEAR WITH A WOODEN SWORD#SHE AVENGED A MAN UNJUSTLY MAIMED#SHE PROTECTED CHILDREN AGAINST SEVEN MEN#NO CHANCE AND NO CHOICE

I'm going to put some propaganda for Brienne, because she deserves the world.

Some people have been quoting the "no chance, no choice" in the tags, but for those that don't know it comes from this scene:

...she could hear the faint clink of swords and mail from beneath their ragged cloaks. She counted them as they came. Two, four, six, seven. (...) Brienne sucked in her breath and drew Oathkeeper. Too many, she thought, with a start of fear, they are too many.(...) Brienne tried to keep the fear from her voice, but her mouth was dry as dust. The children, she thought. The door to the inn banged open. Willow stepped out into the rain, a crossbow in her hands. The girl was shouting at the riders, but a clap of thunder rolled across the yard, drowning out her words. As it faded, Brienne heard the man in the Hound’s helm say, “Loose a quarrel at me and I’ll shove that crossbow up your cunt and fuck you with it. Then I’ll pop your fucking eyes out and make you eat them.” The fury in the man’s voice drove Willow back a step, trembling. Seven, Brienne thought again, despairing. She had no chance against seven, she knew. No chance, and no choice. She stepped out into the rain, Oathkeeper in hand. “Leave her be. If you want to rape someone, try me.”

This is basically one of the most badass and awesome moments of the series... because here, Brienne is not guarding a King, vanquishing a great Evil Lord, or fighting a big glorious battle... this is an inn full of orphans being attacked by raiders, children whose lives really don't matter in the great scheme of things. If they were all to be killed, nobody powerful would really care, no history book would write their names.

The logical thing is to run away from there as fast as she could. And yet, Brienne decides to enter an unwinnable nightmarish battle (one where she gets her arm broken and her face eaten) because is the right thing to do. She is a true knight.

Because, in the dark pseudo-medieval world of Westeros, where the patriarchal martial system reigns supreme, there is no space for someone like Brienne, she herself said it best:

"You have a noble father who must surely love you. (...) I know he would tell you that he would sooner have a living daughter than a shattered shield." "A daughter." Brienne's eyes filled with tears. "He deserves that. A daughter who could sing to him and grace his hall and bear him grandsons. He deserves a son too, a strong and gallant son to bring honor to his name. (...) I am the only child the gods let him keep. The freakish one, not fit to be a son or daughter."

And yet, despite being on the fringe of this society that doesn't accept nonconforming gender expression, despite not being able to be named knight, Brienne is still the embodiment of the ideal of knighthood. She is a true hero, who over and over decides to defend the innocents and do the right thing.

So yeah, my conclusion here is... I think she and kiku should kiss <3