#no braincells au

[justaghostingon]

In Which Kaeya and Kaveh Have a Horrible Missunderstanding

It starts at a bar in Sumeru. Kaeya is technically on buisness, but really he’s just having “fun” if fun is meeting another khanrian who drops a lore bomb, steals Kaeya’s company (traveler), and leaves without paying the bill.

Somewhat shaken up, kaeya walks up to the bar where he meets Kaveh, who is bemoaning his strained relationship with Alhaitham.

And maybe Kaeya’s feeling nostalgic surrounded by all this wine, maybe Dain’s words about the Alberichs made him want to reaffirm his place in the family that wasn’t crazy (if u count Diluc’s Darknight heroing as sane) but he finds himself emphasizing with Kaveh, and begins to tell his own story.

The two quickly realize their stories are quite similar. Kaveh talks about how his mother left him and Kaeya tells him about how his dad left him too. (Kaeya does not mention he was a very small child at the time, and not a college student, he thinks this is obvious. It is not. Kaveh doesn’t make that connection and it will come back to bite him later)

Kaveh bemoans how he found himself someone he thought he was going to make a new family with, indirectly talking of his secret college dream to marry his first boyfriend Alhaitham (he’s not direct because how embarrassing would that be? Kaeya gets it right?) kaeya emphasizes with his own hopes with diluc and master crepus (both who he uses first names for because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to call them brother/father. But it’s fine, it’s implied right?)

Then kaveh gripes about how it all fell apart and they had a big fight ( “Same” kaeya goes) how it emotionally destroyed him and Alhaitham is now letting him live in his house and that has to mean something, right?

This is when Kaeya, drunk and very much a busybody, (and projecting hard) offers his services. He wants to help these two brothers reconnect

Because kaeya has come to the mistaken conclusion that alhaitham and kaveh are brothers

Kaveh meanwhile, thinks diluc and kaeya must have been dating

Both are very, very wrong

Kaveh takes one look at Kaeya’s fashionable clothing with its daring V neck and thinks Kaeya must be a suduction master who’s taken pity upon him

He agrees

Kaeya starts with reconisence, since Alhaitham is still letting Kaveh live with him, it can’t be as bad as him and diluc, but it never hurts to know ur target

He stalks alhaitham’s schedule, and figures out what he can gleam about his personality.

“The first step is to be where they are,” Kaeya starts, “You’ve got a huge advantage because u share a house. Be useful. Remind him that he needs your support, even if he doesn’t like it”

“I already do the interior decorating! And cleaning! I even cook sometimes!”

“Excellent!” Kaeya claps his hands. “He relies on u, now u just need to figure out what his biggest secret is.”

“I …what?” Kaveh blinks “why? U aren’t seriously suggesting blackmail?”

“It’s not realllly blackmail.” Kaeya waves his hand. “U just want him to know u could, if u wanted too, but u don’t.”

“That’s not going to work on alhaitham, he doesn’t really have secrets” Kaveh says, privately thinking that maybe Kaeya’s not as good at this as he previously assumed.

“A shame,” kaeya sighs “ur sure he’s not moonlighting as a vigilante? Keeping a secret like that is a great way to force them to begin to trust you again.”

“…No” kaveh now definitely thinks Kaeya is not as knowledgeable as he though he was. And might be a little crazy.

Hopimg to change the subject Kaveh goes, “all i really want is to know how to have an open conversation with him wjthout our stupid pride getting in the way”

“An open conversation?” Kaeya looks serious. “That’s going to get physical.”

Physical? Kaveh thinks to himself. Is that really all we need?. Could he really be that bold?

“Does he have a vision?” Kaeya asks oblivious to kaveh’s shock

“Yes? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Is your vision a healing or sheilding one?”

“I can self-heal, yes” kaveh crossed his arms “what are you getting at?”

“That’s good” kaeya nods, lost in his own thoughts. “We’ll need a flat area then, mostly private but close enough to call for help when things get violent…”

“WHEN?” Kaveh shouts.

“I’ll stay by to act as an emergency aid. I can sheild when people closeby are close to death…”

“CLOSE TO DEATH?” Kaveh throws up his hands, breaking Kaeya out of his thoughts “What the F are u talking about?”

“Worst case scenarios.” Kaeya frowns. “You’ve had this fight before, you know how deadly it can get.”

“Deadly? Alhaitham and i had a verbal argument! With words!” Kaveh grabs Kaeya’s shoulders. “What happened to you??!!!”

“He tried to take me out with a flaming claymore.” Kaeya crosses his arms defensively. “It’s how i got my vision.”

“And you still want to get back together????”

“Yes? He’s all i have left.”

Kaveh opens his mouth, and closes this mouth, realizing for the first time in his life he’s to angry to speak.

Wordless, he leaves kaeya and goes straight to Alhaitham

Alhaitham looks up but before he can say anything, kaveh gives him a big hug and buries his head in his shoulder.

Alhaitham is shocked, but hugs back. Kaeya is shocked, becuase he’d never take a risk like that! But Alhaitham was hugging back! Should Kaeya try that?

“Thank you for just being a bit of a dick and not a psychopath”

“Are your standards really that low?” Alhaitham snarks, trying to cover how confused and offput he is by this all.

Kaveh just smiles and kisses him full on the mouth.

Kaeya who at this point, is convinced kaveh and ahaitham are brothers, promptly faints.

When he wakes, he doesn’t talk to anyone, just walks himself home all the way to mondstat in a daze before sitting at thr angel’s share.

Diluc takes one look at kaeya’s disleveled and dazed appearance and demands to know what happened

“He kissed his brother.” Kaeya says. Staring into his glass like it contained the secrets of the universe

“Some cultures do,” diluc points out, cleaning a few glasses while he waits the bar

“No,” kaeya shakes his head. “Not like those cheek kisses they do in fontaine. He was full on making out! With his brother!”

Diluc drops the glass.

“Diluc…” kaeya looks at diluc with big, watery eyes. “Diluc we aren’t thr most f-ed up pair of brothers. There are actually worse cases”

“Why are you telling me this?” Diluc asks, knuckles white on the counter.

“Because if i have to have nightmares about this, so do you,” goes Kaeya.

“Ass” diluc replies, “if u tried anything like that i’d have you reported to the church for the crime of incest.” but he relaxes.

Kaeya hides a smile. In a weird way, it’s reassuring to know that Diluc considers the idea of kissing him as incestuous. It means deep down he must still think of Kaeya as a brother.

Bonus

Meanwhile in Sumeru:

“How to you help someone who’s trapped in an abusive relationship?” Kaveh asks alhaitham

“I’ve found staging a coup most effective,” alhaitham says, thinking of nahida.

“Great,” kaveh pulls out the blue prints to the dawn winery “get the gang together Alhaitham, we’ve got a Wine tycoon to take down.”

The end

[feeshu09]

The only logical option left.

[wuzeio]

an encounter

(very into whimsical andreil recently.)

[echosbento]

Normally when the bats had to work with the Justice League, Jason was left out of it. He was violent in a way they didn't approve of, and didn't exactly like mincing his words. But this time, apparently they were working with someone from a more violent culture, and they thought Jason could bridge the gap.

The Ghost King they called him, or just the Phantom. Apparently he was the resident hero of the afterlife itself and the ghosts currently terrorizing New Jersey, New York, and Ohio were his jurisdiction. But they were clearly targeting Justice League affiliated locations, so the idiots in spandex wanted to work together. And in ghost culture, physical violence is a show of respect or even a form of affection, so Jason had been called in. A few years ago they probably would have called in Damian, but the kid was currently having a morality crisis as he realized he wasn't as okay with murder as he thought. Fair, Jason guessed. He'd done pretty much the exact opposite after all.

"So did you guys actually establish contact with this Phantom guy, or did you just leave a note and expect him to follow it?" Jason gave the idiots a Look, because it really wouldn't be the first time it was the latter.

"We established contact Hood, gods just wait like thirty seconds." Fuck these moral high-ground types were the fucking worst.

"We've been waiting here for two hours, I have a right to be a bit snippy." Of course, as though to mock Jason specifically, a glowing green portal opened up as soon as he'd spoken. And out walked, wait-

"Danny?!"

"Jason?!"

Jason's twin brother.

[hinamie]

fire nation festival wear aka a blatant excuse for me to push atla clothing design conventions to the absolute Limit

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[pastelpaperplanes]

soft body practice (and I guess bit of a scar map too) for a handful of the Thorns and Thrones cast

[moonilit]

Rebirth did not give me the Aerith Cloud losers Club that i wanted so im making it myself

[g1ngerbeer]

stuff from an au where the doctor is a ghost with no memories and only donna can see them

[porcelana-r0ta]

I literally never planned to do anything more with my one shot of Wes being a Wayne Enterprises intern but the thought of Tim Drake and Wes Weston being friends (if not boyfriends) scratches my brain so perfectly like they could really be out here being stalker buddies 💙

Like,,

Tim, looking at a surveillance pic of a masked villain who robbed WE: (trying to be unsuspicious) the Bats really need to figure out who this new villain is and take him down >:(

Wes, who saw the villain's civilian persona for 0.5 seconds while on a Batbucks run: oh yeah I know him his name is Darry and he likes mocha fraps with a chocolate wall but also his card declined so that was sad :/ wonder he's robbing Wayne Enterprises

Tim, under his breath: I love you and I'll always make sure you get home safely after your shift

Wes: what?

Tim: I said that as my intern I need you to get me a Death Wish coffee

[lonicera-edulis]

This is for laughs exclusively, a very silly random AU because I watched video about aliens yesterday.

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

The girls are fighting

[macabro]

THE fFF- spaspungly comment got me so bad. It's like that akira tiktok meme, it won't leave me alone.

And yes, yes he is.

[cappycodeart]

JOURNAL ENTRY XXX "You won’t BELIEVE what I’m about to write! Recently I’ve moved back into my hometown to find more information on the whereabouts of my research and why it's been kept hidden from public eye. However, upon my arrival, I noticed something particularly disturbing: an apparition. Some glowing, ghost-like creature that fizzled in appearance and walked among men. What particularly struck me about this thing is that, well… it looked exactly like me! Or, a much older-looking me. But WHY me?! How long has this thing been in my hometown impersonating me? I don’t have an answer for that and, due to the risky nature of my investigation putting me at odds with government officials, I don’t want to make a scene about it. I suppose all I can do for now is keep track of its whereabouts and figure out its motives. But it mustn’t know I’m watching it. I wonder if it has anything to do with the investigation I’m conducting. This could either be a magnificent discovery… or foreboding of a conflict to come in my near future."

Something of a side-development during Itchy's time in that Betty's universe. Turns out she has a Simon of her own (though they haven't met... yet...). Will Itchy's interference ruin their destined meeting? Only time will tell...

Bonus: Some colored art of them both! I've nicknamed them Plaidtrigrof, :)

[thesongistheriver]

The blond bloke in the suit swallowed heavily. “I’m looking for a Mr. Gaius White.”

Merlin’s mouth twisted. “That was my great-uncle, but he passed away. I’m the shop proprietor now.” He straightened to his full height and held out his hand. “Mer—”

Blond Bloke cut him off. “I’ll need some proof of that.”

Face scrunching up in distaste, Merlin snapped, “Why? Who the hell are you, anyway?”

Reaching into his breast pocket, Blond Bloke pulled out a business card. “My firm—er, my father’s firm—handled all the business legalities for Dragon Egg Books. My father has sent me to this ridiculous backwater to ensure our association continues.”

“It’s basically a suburb, not the bloody hinterlands, you posh tosser,” Merlin muttered, looking at the card.

The bookstore Merthur AU has begun!

[amelia-yap]

I’m here to agree with anon. Pretty dragon is my only thought. Head empty only dragon Weiss subsumes my brain.

yeah

[itsredpaint]

"fish how many times are u going to remake ur tgcf au" yes