#no cause i wouldn't want that either for my child tbh

[kkeke99]

yg debuting literally infants it's just so sickening to me, idk how some of yall are okay with it.

[yullalightk]

So! I know the new episode dropped but, I needed to show my take on Mr Puzzle's redesign. I actually ended up changing it again but forgot to download it on my phone so bare with me on this.

I gave him pants that were from the 1970s since I hc him being born in the 1920s 26s to 1970 that would make him at least 44 I think. But, in my next redesign he has a bit more different design first with his hat placement, In my next redesign (not this one) his hat would be on the edge of his TV and his attena wouldn't have to glitch through his hat! it's really weird trust me.

Everything else is quite to same tbh so next, I wanna talk abt his backstory which is mixed with my hcs and lore for my 5⭐rivals au.

In my au he's genderfluid but mostly uses male pronouns to make things simpler, I thought of a hc that Puzzles actually had a good relationship with his father than his mother (Wendy). Because the mother wanted a daughter but instead had a son, while the father was just happy to have a family the mother wanted a daughter because that's how Wendy was told ever since she was a child.

And I did some research on what triggers abandonment issues and some of the answers were divorce so, I made Puzzle's (Adam) backstory involving the father leaving the house and never comming home. Causing Adam's first ever fear of abandonment. Which will cause more problems in the future.

Anyhow, like the picture the mother forced to make Adam believe he was a girl and was forced to carry heavy expectations as a child. Like being a good stay in parent and not get any jobs but just stay at home and clean and cook just like his mother. Which caused Adam wanting to escape the cruel world he lived in, by watching TV ofc!! This is where I wanted to put in some canon material. He also didn't have much friends either cause of his family's rumors and that he was disgusting for being dressed up like a girl.

I also hc him loving engineering and entertainment shows that he used to watch on TV. His reason for wanting fame is due to his mother wanting it as well, but mostly came from his father's dream to be a star with his family.

Annnd that's my lore of Mr Puzzles backstory, not all ofc just don't wanna spoil things too much. Hope you enjoyed this post like my previous ones!!

[eluxcastar]

hello hello greetings! could i request a vampire reader x harbingers who offers to turn them into a vampire as well (how romantic to offer the concept of *forever* to their lover), its got the whole package of night vision/ immortality/ super strength/ speed/ etc etc but they'd lose the ability to use visions/delusions cause they're technically gonna be "dead" would the harbingers except or decline 👀👀 (excluding pulcinella and pierro)

Harbingers with a Vampire s/o

── ୨୧：harbingers x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: just me being absolutely off my head again talking about the harbingers' opinions on vampirehood

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, vampire reader

୨୧﹑words :: I shit you not this post is 666 words long what in the My Immortal

anon baby you found my weak spot I'm so normal about this subject (it's my special interest) (sorry) ANYWAY this has been chilling in my inbox for ages, so it's time I finally write it. I started it a while ago but then I got busy and didn't post for a month and now I am suddenly two followers away from 400 so hi hello thank you

anyway back to the request I question the visions and delusions part because Qiqi is a Zombie an uses a cryo vision BUT I'M GONNA GLOSS OVER THAT BECAUSE YEs

Let's go lowest to highest in ranking like I usually do and start with Childe who, imo, would accept on the grounds that it is power and he will take anything to become more powerful even at a detriment to his health and physical condition. Though there is a price, he has accepted prices before and assuming that the pay off is good enough the use of a vision or delusion would be obsolete anyway. That, coupled with his love for you as his motivation is more than enough to sway him in your favour as he can see more to gain than lose from spending eternity by your side.

Arlecchino is a tough one because I can totally see it and it's really hot but Idk if she would. I wanna say yes, but I can also see reasons for no. The Vampire Arlecchino energy wins though because tbh I can see her being willing to make that sacrifice for her lover. I don't see her as fully whipped per se but like she's definitely loyal yk, probably pick you over the Tsaritsa and would want to spend an eternity with you at your behest.

Next is Pantalone. Cool vampire vibes. Someone gave me this wonderful headcanon that he is obsessed with his delusion, and I now love it to death so much that I based a character on it. So tbh yeah, there's benefits in this for him. He gets to be with you and have a little more power at a far lesser detriment. Plus like, you can't convince me this man wouldn't be lowkey into it.

Signora, I'm not sure. She has already lived a long time, and she has a lot of natural power already. Her delusion is what balances her, so I honestly think I'd have to say no. I WANNA SAY YES REALLY BAD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THERE'S OPPORTUNITY THERE, but I also just don't think so, but like she'll still be with you for a long time.

Sandrone, I honestly don't know either, because I don't know much from the two words she's spoken. If I remember, she doesn't care for other people, though, so she's likely very in love with anyone who managed to break through that and may be willing to make sacrifices for you.

For Scaramouche- well, bro is an artificial human, so tbh, I don't even think he would be affected by that. I'll skip him too.

Next would be Pulcinella, but I was told no Pulcinella, so Capitano (I almost forgot him send help). I like the abyssal creature Capitano headcanon, but even if he was just, a guy. I think the answer is no. HE'S WHIPPED AND WOULD DO ANYTHING BUT NOT THIS 😭 at least not at first, but give it a while and I can see it. It'll take time, though.

Columbina is also tricky because she has such entity vibes, but like also, seraph/vampire pairing would be so hot I can't even deny that. I should write that. Anyway, I feel like she's already immortal, so that doesn't matter, and she is indifferent to the power you offer. It's a matter of it not holding value. She has everything she could get out of it already.

Finally, we come to Dottore. Dottore is into it, don't lie, you know he is; this man is freaky. He'd enjoy the prospect of being a Vampire more than the perks of it, and that's enough to convince him. Besides it's 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓼𝓬𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 so he gets to excuse it. He couldn't turn it down even if it was just one of his segments because he's got to know what it's like and all the differences. He collects knowledge.

This was way more chaotic than usual 💀 Idk if I will write more like this but I did enjoy it so maybe, depends if y'all like this or my other styles more. I just like the chilled out casual chaos sometimes so lmk

[bibibbon]

something that constantly pisses me off about lov bashers is that they don’t understand that an explanation is not an excuse.

they can’t wrap their head around the fact that yes toga is a murderer but that doesn’t negate the fact that she was driven to that point by society.

if her parents supported her and helped her with the symptoms and urges caused by her quirk i doubt she would’ve become a villain.

she was literally driven to insanity not because she’s always been that way, but because suppressing her urges for so long caused her to snap.

twice became a villain because he had no other choice. he had no family, no job, and he was just a child. he had no where to go and no one to help him.

it really hits home for me because i have autism and several other mental problems, so some of my behaviors are because of those issues. but whenever i say that people say i’m making excuses when i’m not. i understand that some of my behaviors aren’t okay. that my mental illnesses aren’t my fault, but they are my responsibility.

yes toga should go to jail/juvenile detention because she’s killed several people, but we should acknowledge that the reason she became a murderer is because of how she was treated. BUT that doesn’t mean her being a murderer is okay or justified.

this also relates to how i believe spinner was right about how placating to their oppressors will do nothing.

the civil rights movement wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. they had to *fight* for their rights. key word being fight.

yes peaceful protest are certainly effective but they won’t work 100% of the time. sometimes you just have to get your hands dirty.

for example, sit-ins and peaceful marches were extremely important to the movement. but sometimes you just need to throw a brick at a cop.

stonewall isn’t infamous because it was peaceful. it’s infamous because it showed the world that the lgbtq community wasn’t going to sit idly by and let themselves be brutalized.

but the thing is 100% of spinners ideology won’t work, and 100% of shoji’s ideology won’t work either. there needs to be a balance between the two.

tl;dr some of the mha community is allergic to nuance and it makes me wanna scream.

Tbh I wouldn't label myself a league of villains basher but Iam definitely anti against the lov fans that claim the league are completely innocent and haven't done any crimes whatsoever.

I have said this before and I will say it again all of the leauge of villain members are victims. They are victims!!! But they have also done bad things. They are victims and they are bad people. Two things can coexist at once.

One thing that I find interesting about some league members that I wish was explored more often was the hypocrisy they had. For example take toga who has stated that she doesn't want to go to jail for her crimes and has murdered but also simultaneously gets distraught over twices death. I love toga but that can definitely be described as hypocritical and it's something that I love about her and I wish horikoshi delved into this with the league a whole lot more.

Also one of my problems that I mentioned in another post is that the leauge don't actually have a viable goal. As of current their goal was to simply destroy and create carnage so they can somehow get a better world for themselves. Realistically that plan is incredibly flawed and would obviously backfire horribly so I wish that horikoshi could of made it so that they developed out of that plan and used the MVA to target groups like the HPSC and other parts of the government to prove their point without harming innocent kids and civilians.

Agreed shoji and spinners ideologies are both flawed but if combined there can be a common ground reached. Thinking about this I can't help but also wonder what if shigaraki properly used the MVA and their resources? What if there wasn't an outright war? What if there was more bonding between the villains and their heroes?

@mikeellee used to suggest that shigaraki would try and get izuku on board with the MVA and I can't help but think that's a great idea and would help the narrative while adding more nuance and development to izuku and other characters.

[bhaalbaaby]

been thinking about astarion's pre-vampire past mainly because of the little star reference for his name. he never once mentions his parents throughout the gameplay and it's probably because he doesn't remember them since he barely remembers anything from before.

i think he would believe he's forgotten to them similar to the doesn't believe in gods conversation with Gale since no one answered, no one came to his rescue. i think his parents mourned him and missed him dearly because he was so young when he 'died' and they did have a funeral for him. he was not a forgotten body in a sense put in an unmarked grave. he has a gravestone albeit it was abandoned with moss and leaves overgrowing it. i think in the beginning he might want to know why they didn't come searching for him and why they didn't fight for him since he was murdered. I'm sure the gur who beat him up got punished for it and they may have left it at that.

but i wonder if unascended astarion would want to know them if they're alive. being a magistrate, I'm sure there are records to find them and his whole family tree tbh. it would be a lot on both sides. i can imagine his parents would be heartbroken to know their son is an undead monster but also somehow elated that their child is alive. astarion probably wouldn't want to exhume the past unless asked by tav. like it'd dawn on him that he doesn't remember everything about them and may place blame on them for not searching for him and looking when again they didn't know. i think he'd need to do some soul-searching if they were ever to meet for his heart to be able to take it. and i think for it to be successful, his parents would have had to be good ones lol. if they were strictly noble and had others do the parenting, i think it would only cause more stress than needed for him.

ascended astarion would probably run into his parents and be unaware they are his parents in my opinion. he becomes power-hungry and takes over where cazador left off ei cazador's palace becomes astarion's and most likely so does his legal power. i feel as though if his parents confronted him about being their long-lost child he'd play along with it but may either kill them or turn them into spawns following the blame of they didn't look for him or try to help him.

im just musing and headcanonning. i may make a post musing on how he was raised another day since I'm interested in this train of thought especially considering his va think he would have wanted to be a father. i hope they were caring before, going back to his name of astarion, if he was their little star. they probably celebrated him quite a bit and let him run wild and be spoiled and get whatever he wants. lol I'm getting ahead of myself ;-;

[silviakundera]

Lighter and Princess ep 36 - the finale!

What Gao Jianhong explains is honestly what I had assumed: Li Xun's sister's death and the ramifications ruined 2 lives, not 1. Geo Jianhong obviously never expected her to die at that hotel. (It was an accident, not even Fang's fault either as much as a POS he is.) But just like LX wasn't thinking clearly, neither was GJH- he was panicked and also consumed with guilt. Objectively, it was an unconnected accident. But she wouldn't have been at that location if not for Gao. So he just triples down on being the villian. Ok, I'm a monster. So be it. I'll play that role to the limit. Maybe this is how I finally win. After all these years, I think he's still been feeling guilt over Sister Li Lan's death. He can't stop being the villain because he doesn't believe in his own redemption. And this gets all mixed up with the resentment and hate that persists because of his inferiority complex.

This doesn't absolve him of anything, btw. He's a bastard who has stolen from & stepped on more amateur game designers; caused Li Xun mental anguish, betrayed his trust in a disgusting manner; abused his wife, blackmailed Zhu Yin with 'social death'... He tried to send Li Xun back to prision. Objectively a trash person.

But it's consistent, layered characterization. It's an explanation. I was glad to see the subtext I'd interpreted become explicit text.

gawwwwdd but I'M EVIL in that it's so satisfying for Gao Jianhong to hear that Li Xun has the inner strength & capacity to forgive him and let go. ("Impossible! It's me. It's me who wanted to step on him. It's me who stopped from from standing up.") BWAHAHAHAHA you fell short yet again, you pathetic man child. He bests u in everything. ❤ And now you're living for him, at his command.

They got the name back \o/

The biggest surprise in this drama is how I ended up loving class president Fang Shu Miao. Just a minor character but it's fun that she grew up into an awesome lady and good friend.

smh but up to the very end, this drama still trying so hard to convince me that ML is handsome lmao sorry I have eyes, no. Love u anyway rat boy 😍🐀😍

The Flying team scenes in the finale really were too perfect and made me so emotional. Mr Dong is still the boss! They're all shareholders! Eating ice pops again, the sacred tradition 😂😭

Mr Dong: "Your daughter is my boss now. She works for herself."

asdfghjk (whispers) it's true tho

99% of the time I dislike the "this company is my found family" storyline tbh. I've seen a lot of toxic situations in rl, especially young lgbt who were rejected by their families and had nowhere else to go, only to be taken advantge of. But this drama has been a big exception to that. A group of odd balls who aren't loyal friends at the start (originally out for themselves) but go thru adventures together. My favorite flavor. And now Mr Dong is defending Li Xun as an elder, when he has no one else to bring to the table. This drama earned it! (And it helps that the protagonists are clearly the leaders of this gang now, no power imbalance.)

"Mom, this is our home. You have no right to interfere. You have no right to make the decisions." 👏👏👏 i love herrrrrrrrrr

After Zhu Yun's mother makes an absolutely disgusting declaration (to an orphan whose parents & sister are dead) that she must marry her daughter to someone "with a happy family" of an equal social status, and invites him to bring his parents to meet them... It's now Li Xun's turn to be an absolute badass and instead of centering his own pain and insult, simply points out that he knows Zhu Yun has the ability to change the world, but her parents just want ZY to obey them. It's her parents that are wronging HER most of all and he sees that. Maturity!

I love how they roll. She suggests they have a baby because 30 is the right age, but then they'd need to get married. He's like ok, let's have a baby. And then a couple days later buys them a house. She's basically quasi proposed to him and then they just decide to get it done. Very them.

The marriage certificate guys' FACE. "You have many family members." !!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

The marriage was absolutely perfect. Loved the final group picture and that their friends gathered to support them in lieu of blood family.

I normally don't get attached or care too much for supporting characters. But Lighter & Princess and A Journey to Love broke that mold for me. Sorry Ren Di, though you are smoking hot I never could care about your angst. But the friend group really endeared themselves to me.

What a truly fantastic story from beginning to end. Never falters. I feel like modern cdramas have a bad rep compared to kdramas but there are some real gems. note to self: make a modern cdrama rec post this year

[pocketramblr]

Ask Game: How about bio dad might for Bakugo?

1- he puts him up for adoption like i do this ask- i kid i kid

lets try to make this fun, hmm

1- Ok so Toshinori gets Masaru pregnant (oh my god he's a support designer not unlike David. Toshi you can't keep doing this.) and the baby just has a boosted version of Masaru's tiny sparking palms, big explosion palms. because ofa i guess. Except, Masaru is like 'i dont think i can handle being All Might's lover publicly but also i don't think i can handle being a single parent' so when Mitsuki is like Interested he just jumps on that immediately. Toshi figures the baby is safer with a normal couple, pays child support and gets sent pictures occasionally, but doesn't want to impose any more, tho tbh both of the bakugous would be fine if he did.

2- Katsuki has no idea btw. He was told once that Mitsuki was actually his step mom and he didn't believe it. Both his parents figured he didn't need a bigger ego and didn't tell him the truth but did have a lot of fun giggling over getting him All Might merch. This sounds funny now but oh man will it contribute to issues once he knows the truth-

3- speaking of issues, Toshinori does recognize the kid in the slime that the previous kid in the slime is rescuing. he doesn't say anything, but he's extremely glad that this perfect worthy successor kid happened to also save his son. In a panic of losing someone he's never really had, Toshi asks Masaru if he could meet Katsuki in person, maybe start visiting. They and Mitsuki discuss it (complete with injury reveal) and decide why not, though continue to keep his identity a secret. So Toshi spends three hours a day as All Might, and the rest of his time is focused on training Izuku, and in rare breaks from that, hanging out with the Bakugous. Katsuki takes a month before he really believes this guy is who his parents say he is, but he decides the training tips aren't half bad- for a toothpick coughing up gallons of blood every day. For his own part, Toshinori doesn't really pick up anything amiss yet in the family- remember at this point, Katsuki has started to leave Izuku alone, and wouldn't mention him to Toshi anyway. Busy with training and not getting into trouble, none of the more questionable of Mitsuki's and Masaru's parenting choices would be causing much issue or be obvious then.

4- And then UA starts, and on the first day, Toshi watches behind a building as his son attacks his successor, and is as surprised as he is unhappy. but he's not sure how to bring it up, or to fix anything. So he just tries bridging things as All Might for Izuku and as Yagi-san for Katsuki, which... is a process, and also crazy that none of the students realize anything is up there. But so it goes. highlights of things that actually get better because of this: at one point, as Katsuki tells Yagi-san that its a problem because Deku is supposed to be quirkless, Yagi tells him that he's quirkless. Based on his parents expression, Katsuki assumes they didn't know either, but it doesnt make any sense because Yagi isn't annoying and creepy and weak like Deku, he's good at giving hero advice and- oh. oh katuski doesn't like that realization and shoves it down deeper, but also doesn't bite as much about it. Also, Katsuki admits how awful All Might giving him the medal at the SF was for him, and Yagi is very quiet. All Might apoligizes to him the next day.

highlight of something that is so much worse: the final exam.

5- SO THE REVEAL its gotta be at kamino right. The Idiot Rescue Squad has succeeded and are watching the news, and see... All Might lose power on camera. Izuku is already basically in tears, but at the sight, Katsuki reacts by going "OTHER DAD???" which shocks Izuku out of feeling anything else but "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HIM???"

there's a lot of shocked screaming. Iida can't even say anything and Kirishima is on the ground giving up trying to understand as Katsuki and Izuku realize how they're both connected to All Might.

The police finally come help take the kids home. No one dares breathe too loudly or text anyone, afraid of another explosion of conversation like that. For his part, Katsuki is going to shake answers out of Toshi as soon as he steps into the house, no attempting to hide behind Aizawa will make it better. Once that... ordeal of a visit and explanation is done, Toshi wearily suggests he have the conversation with the Midoriyas alone. Aizawa looks at the Bakugos, looks at Toshinori, and is like 'oh hell no im not missing this for the world. lets go round two'

[chipistrate]

Okay I wanna go over the two possible protags of the HW2 story cause- while playing- I kinda thought that it might be Gregory

I'm not saying I 1000% believe that to be the case, it could very well just be my Gregory bias, but it's an idea I had so I might as well say it;

Gregory:

-the protagonist is referred to as a woman, which would usually turn down the idea right away, but RUIN referred to him as a mother, so this could just be continuing that. (and could also just "prove" the story predates Ruin, with the "young woman" trapping the witch/monster at a price, then turning into a "mother" (befriending Cassie) and trying to save her from going through what she did)

-the protagonist fell for a 'friendly voice'. Since Gregory's a child, he could be more easily tricked by Glitchtrap

-The protagonist escaped with a scar that would be there for the rest of their life. Obviously could be a mental scar, but Gregory most likely has physical scars as well from his escape. Freddy detected blood and a cut on Gregory when trying to get him out of the Pizzaplex, which most likely means he was injured while escaping.

-'She had escaped' catches my eye- Gregory presumably escaped on his own, while Vanessa had to be help by him. The story doesn't mention the protagonist being aided in her escape, but rather kinda implies she'd escaped herself.

With that said, I would assume the 'young boy' to be Vanessa if that were the case- they went to seek revenge on "the witch" together, aka building the MXES antivirus. Mimic could very well still be the witch- I see it bounce around between Mimic and Vanny a lot, but Mimic would make the most sense in this hypothetical/theory/speculation/whatever. Genders don't really matter in CC stories, as seen in the Ruin story (neither does age tbh), so Vanessa being referred to as a "young boy" wouldn't be completely out of the question.

Vanessa:

-Protag referred to as a woman, Vanessa is a woman, not much of an argument here lmao

-Fell for a 'friendly voice'. While Glitchtraps voice wasn't friendly in HW1, he mimicked Tape Girls voice in the very last tape, and since Vanessa had built trust with TG, she fell for it and accidentally released Glitchtrap

-Escaped with a scar, could be emotional/mental

Vanessa is the more obvious option, and like I said I don't 1000% believe the Gregory theory, but it's always nice to have a different perspective on stuff like this sometimes ^^

Also tbh I don't think the story changes much either way- With Gregory "the witch" makes the most sense if she's Mimic. With Vanessa it could be Mimic or Vanny. But other than that it's still just a story about one of the glitchtrap victims escaping, wanting revenge, getting help to enact it, then being implied to be re-glitchtrapped cause they were careless and took a rest- no huge lore implications beyond that- just a possibly different witch

[system-of-a-feather]

The parent that turned my did into pdid is showing signs of dementia & is in denial. She failed her memory test at the doctors & it’s only getting worse. Its funny, I spent a lot of my childhood being ridiculed by her for symptoms of my DID & now she will likely have some of my formative experiences in her last days: not knowing where she is, confusing reality, etc etc. This is the kind of woman to laugh at panic attacks. my siblings are making themselves scarce before it gets worse.

It feels like poetic justice, but I see a train wreck waiting to happen. She’s POA for my other older relatives. My question to you is if you’d try to help this person if you were in my shoes. Part of me wants to do a family intervention. Part of me wants to watch her to crash & burn.

The irony is that if she had shown me that grace & empathy as a child, this wouldn’t even be a problem. But she set up this toxic dynamic in the family and so she feels the need to double down & pretend it’s not happening. And now it’s gonna bite her in the ass.

Would you stage an intervention now to head this off with senior planning or let the chips fall where they may?

Honestly? I don't really have a "I would do this" sort of response to this. Even putting aside how I don't really have the full picture, context, history, etc to navigate the nuance of the situation, I honestly just don't think this is really something where there is a clear answer and it's really one of those things that you have to kind of just come to the conclusion on what will sit right with you. Whatever path and direction you go, I honestly wouldn't blame you or judge you in anyways tbh.

Personally though, I generally default to neutral or slightly positive non-engagement. If there is a situation I'm torn on, have mixed feelings over, or find myself largely emotionally charge (especially if its simultaneously in opposing directions), I tend to default to respectfully doing the minimum necessary to keep issues from arising due to the lack of action (or sudden decrease in action) and typically continue whatever baseline I have been doing.

That tends to allow me to postpone any significant decision long enough for me to 1) sort out how I feel a little more clearly 2) see how things progress with me doing little to nothing different than what I'm currently doing and to see if that works for me and 3) removes a sense of time pressure and a sense of responsibility over others that is either not possible or not necessarily sustainable for me to take on

I understand the irony and schadenfreude of the situation, cause honestly, I do get how its kinda funny and there's a sense of karma at the whole situation. But in my experience, chasing that schadenfreude / sense of revenge often kind of kept me in a space of trauma and hurt and honestly kept me from exploring and experiencing opportunities in life that were better and/or possibly better spent elsewhere.

That isn't to say that you have to forgive, or that you have to care for her either. People tend to put revenge and forgiveness as a black and white binary, but honestly, you can not-forgive but also choose to not put yourself in a mental space centered on trauma and past hurt by also choosing to not seek revenge.

If you don't feel like she has earned / deserves care that she didn't give you, you aren't obliged to give it to her. It's not your responsibility and I wouldn't blame you if you took that approach. It's your right to go and live on your life apart from negative influences in your life and if she was and is currently a negative influence on your life, I don't think you are a bad person for just walking away from it.

But if that's the case, I'd also just check in with yourself and just make sure that - with the situation regarding the POA and all for other relatives - you are okay with the potential risks that might pose for any relatives you might like and make sure to weigh your care for those individuals against your lack of interest in helping address the situation.

If you do step in, make sure you know what and why you are choosing to step in and stage an intervention. Know what matters to you and what is at the core of your actions and just try to keep that in mind when you decide to step in as it can probably help in persisting when it might not feel like something you want to do.

At the end of the day, its one of those situations where you just kind of have to find where you draw the line and if you feel she deserves that act from you. Do what works best for you both now / in the present and with what you feel will genuinely make you feel the best in the long long run.

Either way, I've done and been on both sides of the coin with similar situations - particularly with my dad - and I honestly get both perspectives.

It's a non-answer, but I hope it helped you nonetheless.

[tojikai]

love fixyou!toji’s redemption arc but i can’t fathom the idea of still being w him for the sake of aimi or just in general. like his attitude towards yn in the beginning was just so uncalled for, telling her to “know her place,” like omg, do you want to be a single dather again?

and knowing yn will still be second place to mamaguro, despite toji and yn rekindling their flame, because he would still pick her if there were ever a chance she came back. kudos for the growth, but if i were yn i would never get back w him.

how would yn feel knowing toji would still pick his ex wife even though he’s happy w where he is at rn e yn, gumi and aimi?

If she were to come back, would yn and mamaguro form some kind of friendship? cause i KNOW mamaguro is such a sweetheart

either way, in my mind, i have a vision where yn ended up w another guy (possibly mature bf sukuna 🤗) and toji just has to deal w it all; seeing how aimi also loves her “step-dad” and seeing yn content w herself and partner.

fixyou!toji u get a 3/10 :))

that beginning, sigh…it must've been so painful for yn. like imagine he tells you to know your place when you're just take care of and love them 🥹 that's probably why yn felt so small then :<

tbh, yn wouldn't be surprised anymore. she knows that her and toji only got together bc megumi's mom died. but it would be a different thing if toji would choose to follow her even when he's happily together w yn, that's just selfish of him :<

i feel like if mamaguro came back and she found out that toji and yn are already in a rs w a child, she wouldn't even try to be w him. she'll be there for megumi tho. it'd be a different case again, if yn realizes that toji's only w her bc mamaguro told him to :"> that's another heartbreak for yn

and oooh ngl mature bf sukuna would be such an ideal 😯 a big boy rival to toji too !

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

May I request Jason Voorhees and a reader who works for the SCP Foundation as a senior researcher and reader (platonic/siblings if that's okay with you!) is probably friends with some SCPs, with both angst and fluff, my idea is that reader witnessed what the bullies did to Jason but was either too late or unable to save him in time, and the reader probably works for the Foundation to either cope or something, and maybe the reader goes back to the back to the camp and reunites with Jason? That's all I got tbh, but feel free to alter and change anything!

Also sorry if I bothered you btw!

Despite watching atleast like 3-4 Friday the thirteen movie I don't know much about Jason, I'm getting him off of other ffs I found 😵‍💫

Sorry i didn't really get into all that scp stuff

Jason Voorhees x sibling! Reader who works for scp foundation

Ever since your childhood you've noticed Jason was quite.. Different from other people. And he always got bullied for it. But you were always there to stand up for him.

These bullying seemed to become severe ever since you two entered Camp Crystal Lake. Every child that looked in his way looked at him with fright or disgust which ripped your heart everytime. You were always there to reassure him that he wasn't ugly at all, it's just that people are judgemental. He was the sweetest boy you've ever met. The best brother you could've asked for. And you're the best sibling he could ask for. You just wished people would give him a chance to get to know him.

You were planning to get a gift for Jason, a big teddy bear. So that he wouldn't be lonely when you were gone to school, you were looking for Jason when you heard familiar loud unwelcoming voices. And another voice... Which sounded alot like Jason and you ran to the direction of where the voices were coming from and you saw Jason screaming for help, screaming for mom, screaming for you. You tried, you tried so hard to save him. Everything was in a blur, you were in the water looking everywhere for your dear brother but nowhere in sight and you were losing your breath too.

You got out of the water and started immediately sobbing and yelling for your mother and that was how much you could vividly remember. Everything went downhill after the death of Jason. The camp closed, your mother got so depressed and your life got dull and sad.

And now you were working for the scp foundation. You didn't really know why but these creatures, how they were looked at and described as reminded you of Jason. As cliché as it sounded you didn't want them to feel the same way your brother must've. And weirdly enough you actually managed to become friends with them. You didn't know how but you just did, and you were proud of yourself cause holy shit you thought you were gonna die trying to do so.

"Mx L/n, scp 076 has requested a meeting with you." (I'm not sure if this is a thing)

"Okay I'll be there"

You've also wondered how you became friends with abel. He was cold and distant towards mostly everyone. But that's another thing for another time. You were walking down the hall when you overheard some researchers talking about something extremely familiar.

"Have you heard of camp crystal lake? Apparently a boy named Jason Voorhees died in that lake and resurrected and kills anyone who steps foot in the campsite."

"Wasn't it the mother who went crazy and killed everyone?"

Your eyes began tearing up, hearing about that shatters your heart. But you had this overwhelming urge to go there again, to go see Jason again. You don't care if it was closed you just wanted to go where your brother was and let all those built up emotions you've held for years out. To show him that you still care about him, to show that he's still in your mind and heart. You wanted to show him all the achievements you've made thus so far and how you wished you could've done it with him.

You ended your session with abel rather quicker than usual which upset and confused him but you'd make sure to make up for it.

Now which step you were getting closer and closer to your destination which made your palms sweaty and your heart and mind race, after all these years you were going to visit your brothers grave.

You were here, in the woods and what made you angry again was that the sign now read "camp blood". Jesus, your brother can't even get some peace even after his death. You were walking further and further. And now came to you was the various cabins and the big nostalgic lake, you were surprised the lake hasn't lost it's beauty. And memories came flooding and you couldn't stop the tears from flowing down anymore. You ran to the direction of the floorboards (?) where he died and started sobbing and crying loudly.

Jason was walking around the woods, bored and sad. He just missed you so much and wished you were here with him. When he heard crying. It sounds familiar but why? But whatever it was probably just someone who got dumped by their partner. He was ready to slaughter you until he realised how similar you looked to his sibling. Was it really you? No you musted forgotten him by now but he couldn't help but hope a little, then he heard your words.

"Oh Jason, why did you have to die? I miss you so much i wish you are here with me. Everything's been so dull without you." You continued to sob into your hands.

It really was you? You are his dear sibling, he put down his weapon and was ready to hug you when someone else approached you.

"Hey are you okay?" A man asked you.

You snapped your neck at him, putting your cries to a stop now embarrassed.

"Uhm, yeah I guess.." You just respond the man eyeing you up and down lustfully not going unnoticed by anyone. Jason still watching you two getting awfully angry.

"What's your name?"

"Uhm.. Y/n..." Now Jason was 100% sure you were his sibling!

"Well uh, it seems you're going through a tough time, why don't you uh.. Come inside my cabin and I can show you some to take your mind off some things." The man smirked, his breath stank. He really hasn't been taking care of himself

"Uhm no it's okay." You say uncomfortably, you didn't wanna do anything inappropriate where it's basically your brother's fucking grave.

"Aw c'mon don't be shy."

"No sir I'm not interested." You declined again. Now dropping the nice act.

When he gripped your wrist was when a machete came straight for his neck and blood spurred everywhere and you screamed.

Jason was not happy. How dare that drunken animal lay a dirty finger on his sibling. You tried to run away when a large man with a hockey mask held tightly on your arm and you just closed your eyes and prepared to die right then and there when you felt heavy arms and weight around you. You opened your eyes and saw the man hugging you, now you were confused. It stayed like that for a couple minutes when he stopped to look at you and signed "JASON".

"But, I don't understand. I thought you died?!"

He nodded which really confused you more but you remembered the coworkers talking about how he ressurected and if such things like scps can exist then so why not ressurection. and so now you were crying in his arms. Into the arms of your brother who you thought was dead for 2 decades. And was he

He was really really sad that you had to leave for your job but you promised you would visit him as much as you could and now he was a happy little Jason.

Head cannons tehe:

He is also scared of the scps and doesn't want you near them because he's scared they might cause you harm. Butttt 🍑🍑🍑 he has a chance of also becoming friends with more of the friendlier scps but uh I don't know how you're gonna get them to interact. He might find some of them cute like scp 999 or 059 though.

He is ruthless, dedicated and protective. Remember when he kept that girl captive in the 2009 movie just because she looked like his mother? He is really overprotective but he won't do that to you because he trusts you. <3

Talking about trust, he's been betrayed by all of the girls that look like his mother and so he's paranoid but like I said, he trusts you.

Only sad when you're gone, being alone in those woods must've been so boring,He just wants to spend time with his adorable sibling. 🥹

He also lets you know you mean a lot to him. 🫵either by gift giving or quality time, whatever. As long as you feel loved he is too.

If someone ever hurts you, just give him the description and he'll come back covered in blood.

Will probably have a shrine of you along with his mother whether you're dead or not.

[oakantony]

hey emanthony I love your hxh fics some much I have a random question that you can totally ignore if you dont feel like answering 😄 I've noticed that killua is usually away in your fics like in your last fic he was on a boarding school and in your other fics he is just mentioned but doesnt have a major role except for the sharpest knife though he was still more like plot device there imo, do you try to avoid writing him because he is arguably the most popular hxh character and you prefer not to deal with the unnecessary fandom drama that writing a fic about him might cause? Which is totally fine if thats the reason, your fics are still amazing with killua involve but I was just curious.

I have MANY thoughts and I'm preemptively sorry for the wall of text that's about to happen. ily, though, here's the TLDR: it's honestly mostly logistical issues that have caused me to avoid inserting Killua into stories.

tbh if I didn't want fandom drama I wouldn't have written that opening for The Youngest Child. That shit was risky af. I still marvel that I haven't gotten e-flayed over it and sometimes I consider removing the story entirely because I have anxieties. (Obviously Chrollo and Kalluto's tryst at the beginning is not meant to be some hot aspirational kink-thing [you do you if you're into that]--the intention has always been to show how far Chrollo had fallen, socially, and how Kalluto has been placed in a dangerous position his entire life without parental figures to care for his well-being [enter: Gon, our knight in sun-shining armor.]) But we're not here to talk about that, so I'll stop lmao.

I've gotten a few questions about Killua throughout the years, ranging from people wondering if I hate him (I love him; I have him as a tattoo) or if I'm just not confident writing him (I'm not confident writing anything, ever), and really it's mostly just logistical. I actually would love to do a Killua-centric story one day, but I haven't had time (though I'm constantly trying to figure out how to write more and faster so I can write more fic. I legit have a pretty fleshed out story in my mind featuring Killua Zoldyck x Shouto Todoroki, which sounds WILD, and it is wild, but I also think I could make it work).

When I say logistical, it's like... We can use The Youngest Child as an example. Obviously Killua being absent is one of the main plot points, but if we pretend instead that his parents decided Kalluto was a better heir, the story doesn't change much... Except that I now have another big personality to contend with. Killua is, without exception, a main character. If he's there, he's going to be there, you know? He'd have to have a whole subplot of his own (which I'll touch on more in a second). The Youngest Child would likely be double in length. Maybe even triple, because I'd have to explain him and Gon's relationship from the onset, too. That would take my idea for a novella-length story and turn it into a full on novel. Which is fine, but as previously mentioned... Time. I can either knock out a story with Kalluto, Gon, the Troupe, Illumi, Hisoka, and the Zoldycks (that's already a wild list to write concisely) in ~20k words, or I can add Killua and watch it bloat up to like, 50k at the least.

There's also an element to writing Killua that I'm not sure a lot of people realize is actually a lengthy subject to cover, and that's his responsibility to his family. Even as a side character, there's so much to address. His story ends (both in the manga and in the anime) with him rescuing his sister, running away, and presumably keeping her safe from Zoldyck influence. But what about the other kids? Maybe we can write off Illumi; he's fully grown, and abused Killua deeply enough that Killua could dismiss him as a victim of their upbringing. But what about Milluki, who's openly derided and dismissed by their parents? What about Kalluto, a small costumed doll handed over to a genocidal gang? Is Kalluto not worthy of saving? We know Kalluto loves Killua; we never see Killua think of Kalluto at all. Does that mean Killua doesn't love his other brothers? Does that mean he doesn't think they suffer? Obviously Alluka needed rescued, that's not in question. But any canon-compliant fic that includes Killua has to answer this question (and many of them do not, and I don't blame them): does he care about his family at all?

(The answer, imho, is yes, but Killua is so afraid of his past and his parents and his role as heir that it paralyzes him similar to the ways we saw him paralyzed trying to fight for Gon in the Chimera Arc.)

That's why it's hard to include him in fics. That's honestly probably why Togashi hasn't included him in the manga in 11 years. There're so many loose ends. It's a nightmare to tie up neatly so that other characters and their stories can shine. I mentioned it before, but he's got some of the biggest main character energy of any fictional character ever made (this is a compliment). His capacity for love, violence, humor, poise, intelligence... He's really remarkable. He's going to outshine anyone if he gets involved. Illumi's whole arc in The Longest Job was learning some of the things that Killua's been capable of his whole life. If Killua was there, Illumi probably would have seen even more pathetic than he already was. Which maybe isn't a bad thing, lol.

Anyway. I should write a Killua fic one day. Lemme just finish...uh...man, idek. I have like 6 WIPs at the moment. I'm gonna go lay down.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

Working on a fic rn that is killing me, I GOTTA talk about it. Imagine ftm Izaya being asked by Shinra and Celty to be their surrogate bc their options are limited and they assume he wouldn't be able to get attached to the baby bc of his aspd and general disposition (unfair assumption on their part) Izaya only agrees bc he can't stand the idea of disappointing Shinra and proceeds to go through the mental anguish of dysmorphia and carrying a baby that's not even his that he wants to love so much

i. man. ive been presenting this ask to my friends all day because this is such a good fucking idea. this is perhaps the best drr fic of all time by my personal ranking (which also happens to be the correct ranking) and i thought id give you a couple fun little bits of informed mation that could possibly help you with this fic :) one of them is surrogacy related the other is aspd related

SO!!! the first thing i did was show my fiance and i said, well, izaya could keep the baby if he wanted, surrogacy laws are in his favor. but then i thought..... are they? because i was basing that off surrogacy laws in the us..... so i googled it!

surrogacy in japan is um, Extremely Controversial! first off, surrogates do have legal guardianship of the baby, the parents who want the baby have to go thru a formal adoption process, and if it goes to court, courts would most likely side with the surrogate.

BUT!!!!!! the welfare of the child is explicitly stated to be the first and foremost concern. at the end of the day, a married couple could very well win over a single man, especially a single man with antisocial personality disorder, if his diagnosis is on record anywhere. (of course this is all dependent on whether or not izaya GOES to court, and if celty can keep her helmet on and pose as a mute human woman)

either way, this all but confirms that shinra would be izaya's obgyn. imagine at every checkup, shinra is cooing over how well his baby is doing, completely oblivious to how upset izaya is <3 did u know that if you're trans and you get pregnant, you have to stop taking your hrt? too much testosterone can cause miscarriages- very high levels of natural T is actually why i'm infertile </3 so that can be a little extra angst for izaya~ <3

NEXT! THING!!

let me introduce u to the concept of aspd exceptions <3

it's..... kind of like the aspd version of a pwbpd's favorite person? kind of? not really

it's like. sometimes, for one person, the aspd will not be aspding. they're... literally the exception to how your symptoms work. things like empathy and yeah even remorse will work within like, normal operating levels. it's kind of weird tbh and kind of distressing? like, since you're not used to these emotions being there, especially with how strong they are, you have no way to cope with them. it sucks major ass and while it can being people closer together, it also sucks major ass. like.... if you never felt remorse before, suddenly feeling remorse over something you commonly do just because you did it to one Specific Person, leaves you with this very strong, very bad emotion, that you have no way to cope with!

and its not just remorse too, things like empathy fire off at full cylinders, so like... if ur used to just using cognitive empathy and logicing out things, imagine how much itd suck to suddenly be ass blasted by Functioning Normally Affective Empathy

anyway there's this one lady on tiktok who has aspd, and she talks about aspd symptoms a lot. she has a young child, and that child is her exception

get what i'm getting at here? ;) imagine izaya going thru all this then, while already distressed, dysphoric, and hormonal, shit like EMPATHY and strong STRONG emotional ties started kicking in wrt his baby and now he has to deal with extremely strong emotions he is not used to!

(and in case ur wondering, yes i do have exceptions, but who it exactly IS changes from time to time and the feeling ebbs away over time too so sometimes i don't have one)

anyway!!! i love this fic already. PLEASE dm me i need to go absolute ham over this with you. please. please . i can introduce u to my friends so thats like. 3 friends for the price of one

please tell me this ends happily i do not think i would be able to handle it if it did not. please. i am crying and begging and pissing . please.

[mycptsdstory]

Let's do a re-cap for this year, for me. Because it was an insane year.

Well, it started off with my family telling people I'm a peadophile, I hurt children and I've got a lengthy criminal record. I lost jobs, I lost friends and I thought I was gonna be homeless. I had to call the police because when I ordered food from my local takeaway, my neighbours were talking to them saying "I wouldn't trust her. She's a peadophile and hurts children". Then I had friends starting drama with me because they believed my family, even tho I didn't do anything wrong.

Role up to May, I visited America to see my fiancé, his family and my friends. I got engaged on my birthday. It was then I decided I wanted to move to America and never come back to England. It's just HOW. That's the issue. In my head, I got fed up with being stalked. I started to hate England even more.

I came back home, it's when people started to ignore me and want nothing to do with me. No drama, they just ignored me like I didn't exist. So after a while, I did the same thing with them. Then they said, I hurt them by me ignoring them... Okay 🥴

I was still losing friends, I had one friend who spread lies about me. Even tho she wanted my cat dead, she didn't like how I wanted to move to America. I vented to my therapist, found out she has been talking to my family, persuading me and fiancé to stay in England. (That didn't work lol). My therapist said "I don't like your friend J. Block her. She continues to stalk you, call the police". I haven't yet, but I will in the future.

Late August, still in deep depression, my family still causing me shit. The police got me into Cross Roads and they have been helping me a lot. I still continue to lose friends because people still believe my family. Then my fiancé came over to England and we watched AEW in London. It was a really good time and I needed a break. I felt safe in London.

My neighbour started acting weird around me. I think he's talking to my family. But no drama with him. His vibe and energy shifted slightly and I don't like that feeling.

Cross Roads got me into this design course that's not too far away from me. I've been creating fashion and learning to do an Expedition either in Sheffield or in London. We are planning to do an Expedition where I live in a very fancy hotel. Tbh, I'm super excited.

Then more and more people started to ignore me. No drama.

Rolled up to November, my best friend in England is acting all weird around me. Told me not to go to the wake, after the funeral, even tho I looked the memorial for her dead mother, everyone was allowed to go. So I went anyway. All her family loved me, but they hated J (go figure. And yes the same J that my therapist HATED).

I still headed up to the design course, I still love it up there. It's cold, but she has a wood fire. It's nice to sew and create fashion. It helps distract me from my family.

I saw my cousin, he was on drugs and acting erratic. Threatening anyone who looks at him weird and threatening children, he was gonna beat them up. Calling them a freak and so on. When they ran past me in fear, they were calling the police.

Rolled up to December, I thought an old drama situation from a decade ago was over. Nope. Found out, my so-called best friend told our friends I caused drama, because they all heard me and my mother argue, (when I was living with her at the time). She hid her stories on her IG when i told her I blocked everyone. When she hid her stories, I just blocked her. Tbh, she was a child and I haven't got time for people like that. Especially after this year. Do it once, I'm happy to cut you off. I know Al is still stalking my profile, (hi, how ya doin 😘).

I got my neck tattoo because after this year, FUCK IT. Y'all calling me a criminal, I'm gonna get a Corpse Bride butterfly tattoo, on my fucking neck. BECAUSE, WHY THE FUCK NOT. Straight after when I got my tattoo, I needed to pay the tattoo artist, so I head to the bank, but before I went to the bank. I treated myself to Costa Cafe, a hot chocolate and a small cake. I wasn't that hungry, but it was nice. I saw my cousin there, she kept telling her friend how my skin should be "pure" and having a neck tattoo is against the family rules. Her friend was confused and my cousin kept telling her, how I should "marry within the family. She should marry my cousin". Yeahh her friend thought the family rules were weird and her friend liked my tattoo. But my cousin wasn't having it because my uncle An wouldn't like it. (Fucking lol. My family can kiss my furry purple ass). Now she needs to tell the family and my family won't be happy because they have to disown me (fucking lol). It was that moment I knew I needed another tattoo on the other side of my neck. BECAUSE AFTER THIS FUCKING YEAR, WHY THE FUCK NOT. I walked up to my tattoo artist, gave him the money and walked back home. As I was walking home, I saw a family friend full on screaming and swearing at her children. I ignored her and just walked home. Nothing to do with me, I'm keeping my nose out of it. Now people have started to treat me with respect since I got the neck tattoo???? Like, wtf. This never happened. It was so fucking weird.

I think I lost that best friend whose mum died. My intuition started to kick in that J is spreading shit about me. So I just muted all of her profiles so I don't see what she's up too. If I don't hear from her again, I don't mind. I'm thinking of the worst case possible right now.

I still continue doing my design work. I've been experimenting and my teacher, she thinks I'm really talented. I've been doing so much fine detail work, it's been fun.

In all honesty, I FUCKING HATE IT HERE. Other than the design work. FUCK ENGLAND AND FUCK WHERE I LIVE. I FUCKING HATE IT HERE.

Anyone tells me otherwise, your suss. Just sayin.

I hope everyone had a better than me. It started off shit, still kinda shit. But at least people will leave me alone. Planning on getting another tattoo on the other side of my neck. BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. Y'all wanna treat me like I'm a criminal, I will be a criminal, by getting tattoos and me showing them off. Because fuck what other people think, I'm gonna do my own thing. Don't like it? Kiss my furry purple ass.

It's funny how, people thought I was conservative and "prim and proper" HA 🤣🤣

[pastelbatfandoms]

Marvel dr Memories

2/26/24

Some short memories or scenarios from My MCU DR. My S.O. in that reality is Bucky Barnes.

So I had a memory where Bucky (as The Winter Soldier) and I are fighting in that building that Wanda accidently blew up in Avengers Civil War. We were at those stairs and he grabbed me by the throat with his metal arm, that's all I remember.

I also got short flashes (after watching the show again) of traveling with Bucky and Sam, this is when Bucky and I see each other again after being apart for years. I'm still a bit upset at him for attacking me but realized he was being controlled…I can relate. Him not looking for me after he got free though, I have less sympathy for.

Speaking of being controlled. I am not happy when Bucky helps Zemo out of prison. Zemo mind controlled me and manipulated me when I was young in Hydra. So seeing him and having to play the part of his lady assassin/side piece again, brings back memories I do not want.

2/27/24

I think I either went to my MCU dr or I had a short lucid dream. I was half asleep half awake and I was fighting Zemo. He had been trying to get me on his side again and I'd had enough and hit him, then he grabbed me by the throat and pressed me against a wall, I tried to get out of it by wrapping my legs around his arm and biting his hand. He let out a frustrated pained sound and let go only to grab the side of my head and slam it onto the ground. I literally felt the room or my weight turn in my cr when I started to fall and then my head hitting the ground, I woke up startled and the side of my temple hurt for a bit.

That shit was crazy, I kinda just stayed there with my eyes open for a bit like I felt a bit out of it and hazy tbh.

2/29/24

Watched Black Widow again to see if I could get any memories or resonance. Boy did I ever…Mainly feelings but I already do have memories of being in Hydra as a child and what they did…So the beginning of the movie affected me,as well as remembering them seperating myself from Natasha and Yelena as children. As well as the scene with The Widows training…As I was the one tasked to lead them and Zemo trained us. Made me nauseous and anxious watching that.

I also started tearing up when Nat,Yelena and their "parents" were talking at the dinner table. When Melina was describing what they did to The Widows how they controlled them…plus Yelena upset over the fact that their family was fake. A part of me was jealous though because at least they were a family. Besides knowing them, I had no family after my parents died in a car crash which turned out to not be accidental and I was taken.

I also remember Natasha's apartment in Budapest. I must have stayed their while she was gone, because that's the place Bucky and I talked after we reunited years later.

3/3/24

So Eric and I (Magneto) are back together…We dated when I was around 22 yrs, but then he became a villain and left after I told him I wouldn't join The Brotherhood. I felt atm that it was just a fun & playful kind of relationship not a serious one.

Boy was I wrong…so I had a scenario where I was having a breakdown because of a nightmare I had involving Zemo (and Bucky wasn't really helping) so I decided to distract myself I'd called Erik about joining The Thunderbolts. That's initially how it went and he was actually on board with it probably cause it involved destroying Hydra. Then we started talking about what was going on with me and I wondered if we could talk in person so we met up at Natasha's (after I snuck out of Zemo's place)

Erik actually gave me some really good advice when it came to my relationship with Zemo, who he does not like at all…then we started talking about the past and how he actually did like me, more than Mystique, despite the age gap he was just going through a dark time and was upset when I didn't join him.

One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Which yes did cause drama with Bucky and Zemo. Zemo and I broke up, Bucky and I almost did. Then Erik almost killed Zemo…because of what he did and still tries to do to me.

Erik and I slept together again but this time it was different, still amazing but it felt like we were connected on a whole other level, we have a strong psychic link now, I can feel his energy around me even when he's not, our powers are bonded as well. It feels like the mating bond in ACOTAR.

He's the one mentor of mine that helped me develop my powers without trying to control them like Zemo did. Instead of focusing on just my shadows he helped develop my light side too.

I am still in a relationship with Bucky,which surprised me because I didn't think he'd forgive me but he did. Ours is very soulmate vibes though, warm, safe, comforting. Just as protective but in a different way then Erik. We have a long history which I won't get into here, but we've been together for 4 years and known each other longer.

Bucky pushes me,sometime a bit too much, and Erik is the voice of reason, I admire them both in different ways.

3/6/24

I had a memory/dream last night. It was with Zemo, we were taking down Hydra but I got caught, was drugged and tied down on one of those beds in the "medical" wing. The same place The Widows get taken too when they need to be worked on… I woke and started freaking out internally anyway, I would like to say that diminished when I saw Zemo walk in but it didn't as I noticed he was wearing a Hydra uniform. My eyes widened he had betrayed me…again.

I tried to protest when he stood above me, holding my head. "You bastard, what are you-" He shushed me then, close to my ear. "Relax my dear, it'll be fine." Like hell it would, I glared at him until he gave me a look and slowly dragged a hand down my leg, I tried moving away until I realized he was looking for something, he found it as he discreetly pulled a small knife from the strap on my leg and handed it to me with a nod.

I looked at him then, realizing it had been a ruse. I quickly cut the straps off me as I jumped off the table my back to his as we guarded each other. He had two pistols in his hands as he pointed them at the Hydra agents. "Zemo you betray us?" They growled. "No, I betrayed her." He looked over at me then a hint of remorse crossing his face as he then shot the agents, as I fought the other two off.

Then he grabbed my hand and we ran out into the hallway. We fought off more agents, sneaking down the hall, he put a finger to my mouth to be quite as we hid behind a wall, I looked up at him, the tension between us definitely there. Then I woke up.

3/20/24

I've been taking a break from typing up any of my memories because the majority have been traumatic and involved Hydra and or Zemo….but I did have a dream of Pietro (Quicksilver) and I playing Pokemon on the DS. We like picking each others teams to battle one another. My first X-Men memory, that's not focused on Magneto, it was refreshing!

[suzannahnatters]

MOON LOVERS: SCARLET HEART RYEO has deaded me and I've never been so happy about it

EUN!!!!

I'm not okay.

of course So was always going to make this choice, and I suppose it's hard to just opt out of a system when you and everyone you care about it trapped inside it, but there tragedy is definitely HERE

oh heck no, did he just lie to her? after promising he wouldn't?? and when the real thing he used as an excuse was a genuine point of conflict that could have served the writers just as well???

everything was going so WELL

Jung has no damns left to give either :3

big fan of the way nobody's wearing pastel robes anymore, they're all in black and guyliner

cept Baek Ah, please stay alive my child

dying over the internal thematic resonance here. So wants to be king so he won't be someone's killer anymore. but if you take the throne you have to be willing to throw everyone else away. And that's what he's already done to our girl, as happened to Lady Oh before her

taking the throne is the leading cause of insanity in this kingdom, looks like

ok they actually resigned me to the Break Her Heart To Save Her bit by downplaying it a whole lot and justifying it pretty well. it's still not my favourite & it IS cruddy of him to lie but also the king IS very actively using her to control him.

most of the time this trope happens I'm like "in what universe does this even make sense" but in this case, well it's a stupid decision but one I can actually imagine making

So explains why he wants the throne: at first he just wanted to protect the people he loved but now he wants to FIGHT THE SYSTEM, YEAH

*cough* or make things better for the normies

she's 100% Ophelia but he's better than Hamlet so I support him tbh

it's on, even Baek Ah is in armour now

not so evil queen gets the thesis statement: you must throw away love in order to gain the world

aaaaaaaaaaaAAaaaaAAAAAaaahhh

did...did our girl poison king Guyliner (no but it was convenient yes?)

what was in the letter

our girl getting to be the first to acclaim the new king yessss

well HECK the throne-induced insanity is setting in quick this time

I repent, I repent, he should have listened to our girl T_T

astrologer is Concerned and so am I

I'm so happy for Rebel Princess getting to stab someone at last

augh Wook very correctly points out to our girl that she's stuck by So as he makes the same decision Wook did

and then she retorts that at least he was honest about it with her

well played and game over

oh no I knew it wasn't good that she was clutching her heart

the sheer stress of the lifestyle is getting to her...the way it did to Lady Oh

and our girl's protege Chae Ryung is in love with a prince, it's all starting another tragic cycle huargh

fascinating how the back half is contextualising the show's treatment of the original king.

I hate that it went easy on him, but it quickly started to be apparent that the king is similarly caught in the system as everyone else. one person wanting to change isn't enough.

this show is so much more complex than I gave it credit for!

well I have a three page list of Reasons Why Marrying Princess Smirks-a-Lot is NOT Good Realpolitik

oh the pain is ON now our boy is making a whole parade of bad decisions and the show...isn't letting him off for them?

like, it's showing him yielding to the pressure of the system but also our girl takes a good long hard look at him and...

is this show going to Do The Thing

couples who pledge love over this swimming pool never end well, goodbye Baek Ah

no this is almost worse, Baek Ah gets to live in the most heartbroken manner possible

meanwhile So is gradually losing the bits of his humanity one by one T_T

SHRIEK

Jung just came to get our girl in the dumbest way possible, this is why you do not ask the general to rescue you from the deadly court

WOOK, DID YOU JUST DO SOMETHING LEGITIMATELY UNSELFISH

oh the sad king lurking in Jung's garden all eaten up with jealousy is the BEST THING and totally what he deserves

oh I LOVE this - our girl makes sure Chae Ryung's last letter gets to Won ahhhhh

the actor for Wook has just done an amazing job of visibly aging from 20 to 50 before our eyes, and he's done it all with facial expressions and body language

our girl has made it back YESS

and left history a little better in her wake

that rates as a happy ending in my book

THEY DID THE THING

I NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD BUT THEY DID

IT'S OPHELIA IN ANCIENT GORYEO

look idk what I expected from a story about a modern girl going back in time to charm 8 cute princes but it sure wasn't a brutal Shakespearean tragedy about power corrupting even the truest love

10/10 perfect ending, no notes. Bittersweet, agonising, fitting, PERFECT.

review to come