#no joke i'd turn into a supervillain

[olympain]

[racefortheironthrone]

How was Iron Man thought of by comics readers, before the movie? I've heard different takes, from him being despised to being generally popular.

This is one of those that really changes depending on the era you're talking about. It is true that, overall, Iron Man was not a particularly well-loved or important character before the movie.

Indeed, I would argue he was kind of the bottom of the C-tier. Yes, he was a founding Avenger and he had some solo stories people liked, but he also fucked off out of the Avengers after #16 (because of a weird Stan Lee idea), and wound up leading the West Coast Avengers who were sort of an in-universe joke, very much the also-rans to the Avengers (who weren't particularly that big either). There was likewise a running gag about villains finding it embarassing to lose a fight to "Old Shellhead."

But he wasn't despised, just kind of inessential and overshadowed by more prominent heroes. This would change in 2002 with the creation of the Ultimates and the Ultimate Universe.

Now, I fucking hate Mark Millar's work, but credit where credit is due: he made Tony Stark a main character when he had not been one before, and the movie would not have happened without his inspiration (although I'd argue there was a lot of sifting the pure from the dross on that one).

One of the ironies of the MCU, though, is that it got its liftoff from Iron Man just at the point where the comics had reached Peak Tony and fans really turned against him during Civil War. Mark Millar might have thought that the Pro-Registration side was self-evidently in the right, but no one agreed with him - especially once he started building interdimensional black site prisons for superheroes, recruiting supervillains to work for the government, and creating a murderous Thor clone. Not only did the fans hate him, but pretty much all of his old friends now considered him a traitor - and Marvel pretty much had to kill Tony and replace him with a pre-fash AI backup, then have Tony be the leader of the "good" side in Civil War II, to deal with the backlash.

(Incidentally, I would argue that Hickman's Avengers run did a way better job with Millar's concept than Millar ever could.)

This is why Captain America: Civil War ended up being a second take for the concept, where both sides were depicted as more reasonable in their motivations and actions than in the comics that inspired the movie, and then Infinity War and Endgame recontextualized Tony as a tragic character who ultimately managed to redeem himself with a heroic sacrifice. (Although since then, they really have gone too far with his canonization.)

[copperbadge]

(joke, not serious pitch) Twitter's collapse and the crypto exchange FTX failing led to someone pitching "A Tweet For Christmas" Hallmark movie, Mr, Starbuck, would you like to do it as a followup to your critically and commercially acclaimed "A Pizza For Purim"?

I know you're joking but this is a pretty standard trope in I'd estimate roughly 25% of all Hallmark Christmas films -- the curmudgeonly or even just slightly cranky CEO/corporation who either intends to purchase and destroy [local cultural property] or sends the protagonist to evaluate it for purchase and destruction. The locals whose cultural property it is then demonstrate the true meaning of Christmas, which often bears an oddly striking resemblance to utopian communism to be honest, and both the Cultural Property and Christmas are saved while the Local Female Love Interest woos the Cranky Male CEO or the CEO's Female Representative ends up with Hunky Local Male Love Interest. Usually with the CEO's avuncular blessing.

The purchase and destruction is never ill-intentioned; you can't have an actual villain in a Hallmark Christmas film, you can only have a) well-intentioned but misguided or b) driven by circumstance. They need to tear down the castle to build a hotel, or they want to turn the local pristine beach into a tourist resort because their mother used to visit it every year, or they just bought the town's bakery and want to increase efficiency, etc etc.

It can't really work in this case because both Elon Musk and Twitter As A Concept are malevolent supervillains, but in a gentler world...

Let's say Elon Musk buys Twitter because the current administration has been blocking his attempts at an ad campaign and the only way he can get the word out about about his special line of Non Exploding Christmas Themed Electric Cars is to buy the platform he wants to advertise on, but once he runs the ads he's thinking of tanking Twitter and using the servers to store the AI he wants to build. All of Twitter bands together to engage in one giant meme celebrating the diversity and creativity of its userbase, and a plucky influencer convinces him to hire the ringleaders and put them to work on building a more efficient AI that won't need Twitter's server racks instead. Both Christmas and Twitter are saved, there's a Non Exploding Christmas Themed Electric Car parade through the center of the small town where Twitter's server farm lives, and Elon Musk marries wife #3, officiated by the AI she helped to create.

Okay now my skin is crawling, I have to go.

[starry-night-author]

Prompt #16 (Pt. 4)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

@those-damn-snippets @shychick-52

Hero yawned, stretching out on the bed and debating whether or not they should get up to turn the light off. It was late and they would likely fall asleep soon, but they were too tired to get up and switch it off. Besides, they didn't mind it much either.

So they sighed and turned back to the huge flatscreen TV in front of them, getting comfortable on Supervillain's bed.

Supervillain's bed was huge, and it was the most comfortable bed Hero had ever been in. It was low and wide, and absolutely covered in squashy pillows and soft thick blankets. It was a place they never wanted to leave, and they were sure they wouldn't be able to go back to any other bed. It wouldn't even compare to this.

Several minutes passed, and Hero eventually scrambled out, going to switch the light off. They were tired enough that they would likely fall asleep without the extra brightness.

However, just as they straightened up, they looked up to find Supervillain standing right in front of them.

Hero yelped, falling back in bed in surprise. "O-oh!" They exclaimed "I didn't hear you come in! Where were you?"

Supervillain smiled apologetically, reaching out a hand to help Hero up. Hero took it. "There were some heroes looking around for you. I went to tell them to back off and that you're alright."

Hero tilted their head. "Was Superhero there?"

"They were leading the team."

Hero frowned. Why was Superhero so obsessed lately? Ever since they'd learned Hero was dating Supervillain, they were suddenly more interested in Hero's life than they'd ever been. Which was saying something, the two hardly ever interacted before that. "Was there a fight?"

"I managed to prevent one. I know they tried to follow me back, I think I shook them off."

"Hm," Hero stepped around them, headed for the light switch. "I was just about to go to bed, is that okay with you?"

Supervillain smiled warmly at them. "Of course. Mind if I join you?"

Hero grinned, flicking the switch. The room was now lit by the TV screen, and the warm glow of the lamp on the bedside table. "I'd be delighted!"

But they hesitated, thinking. "Look... I've loved this, but I might have to go back soon," they looked up at Supervillain, who's smile was slowly fading. "I don't want them to keep coming after you, and I kind of miss my job."

"You're leaving?" Supervillain frowned, stepping over to them.

"Just going to work," Hero explained with a smile.

Supervillain rested a hand on Hero's shoulder, pulling their partner close. "But... I can support both of us, why would you want to go back?"

"There's not a lot to do here," Hero pointed out. "And I'd still come back, of course! I'd just be going to work like I used to. Besides, I probably owe all of them an explanation."

A flicker of darkness crossed Supervillain's face. "You don't owe them anything."

Hero reached up to gently cup the side of their partner's face. "I don't know, clearly they're worried about me. I could just tell them what's up?"

Supervillain frowned, clearly pouting, and Hero chuckled. "It'd just be how it was before! Except now I know where your place is, I could spend more time here after work?"

"I guess," Supervillain huffed. They ran their hand up Hero's arm, resting it on top of their partner's still, resting against their face. Their other hand on Hero's shoulder strayed up to Hero's neck. "You're really sure you wan't to go back though? Superhero's not going to let it go that easily."

Hero frowned, they had a point. "I know. But I've missed work."

"We can find other things for you!" Supervillain pointed out, pulling them closer. "Stay with me."

"I will, I will." Hero's thumb stroked their cheek, soothingly. "But I don't want to stay inside forever!"

Supervillain blinked, leaning down closer. "Why not?" They murmured. Thinking they were joking, Hero chuckled, but Supervillain's finger moved to shush them. "Shhh... you could stay here, and it'd be just you and me."

Their voice had gone much softer, and Hero was suddenly aware of just how close they were. They were nearly pressed right up against Supervillain's body as their partner gazed down at them. "You and me," they repeated, "here forever. No distractions, no Superhero, we can find better things to do here."

Hero sighed. "I don't-"

"You can come with me on my own missions, you don't need hero ones," Supervillain pointed out, their hand sliding up to cup Hero's cheek. Hero leaned into it, eyes closing as they smiled contentedly. "Stay here with me." Supervillain whispered. "We don't need anyone else."

Hero looked up at them. "I'll think about it."

"Just take this week off?"

A grin. "Sure."

That's when the entire wall of Supervillain's room exploded.

Hero and Supervillain were thrown backwards, Hero's head hitting hard against the nearby wall.

Everything quickly faded to black, before they'd even touched the ground.

Hero woke with a start.

They sat straight up, floundering in bed and gasping for air.

What had just happened? Had that been a dream? Where were they? Where was Supervillain?

Looking around, they found themself laying in a bed in the middle of a bright white room, machines and monitors stacked around them. There were curtains drawn around them, and an occupied chair next to their bed.

Hero blinked, squinting. "...Superhero?"

Superhero grinned sheepishly. "Hey, Hero."

"What's going on? Why are you here? Where's Supervillain?! What happened?"

"You're in the medical wing of the agency headquarters," Superhero explained. "We went to rescue you, and may have been... a little overenthusiastic when trying to get into Supervillain's lair. We didn't mean to hurt you."

Oh no. "Where's Supervillain? Are they okay?"

"They've been taken into custody, they're in the cells a few floors down. We're-"

"What?! You can't do that!" Hero exclaimed, throwing their blankets off. "They-"

"Woah woah woah, hey." Superhero stood, gently pushing Hero back down to the bed. "It's fine, you're safe from them now. You need to stay in bed, you might have a concussion."

"What are you even talking about?!" Hero struggled against them. "I have to make sure they're okay, I-"

"You have to stay here," Superhero stressed. "Supervillain is fine."

"But they're not!" Hero gave up, letting Superhero push them back into bed. "I- they- they had a bad experience once with the agency, and they're going to freak out. I-I have to get to them and tell them they're okay."

Superhero let out a breath, and Hero could see they didn't believe them. "They'll survive. I'm sure they just told you that to further manipulate you-"

"No, I'm serious!"

"Besides they're a supervillain, the reason they're here is their own fault." Superhero pointed out. "What matters right now is making sure you're alright after they kidnapped you."

"I'm fine! And they didn't kidnap me! I-"

Hero broke off as the curtain was suddenly drawn back, and the two heroes looked up to see Other Hero standing there, holding a clipboard. "Oh, am I interrupting?"

Superhero flopped back down in their chair with a sigh. "Yes, but what is it?"

"There's been... a development." Other Hero said cautiously.

"What is it?"

"Supervillain hasn't been captured before, so they're not in our systems. We were just doing all of the scans and background checks and... we discovered something."

"What?" Superhero sounded exasperated.

"Supervillain has powers."

Both Superhero and Hero sat up, surprised. "They what?"

"They have superpowers. Which is really rare, I know, considering their age- you know, powers are much more common among babies now- but we're certain."

"What are their powers?" Hero asked, confused. Supervillain hadn't said a thing about this.

Other Hero let out a breath, clearly hesitated to say what it was.

"...Hypnosis." They said at last. "We're not sure how they do it, but they can hypnotize people into doing what they want."

[thermitetermite]

Prompt #18 - Dessert Creation

Tldr: After an awful battle Hero goes to a rooftop to mourn the loss of their beloved Villain. Hero sobs about their mistakes and the regret they have for not confessing sooner to Villain. Villain is alive mutual confession ensues. Hurt/comfort, Dessert Creation Villain x Hero

CW: Talk of death, implied death, burns, mourning, blood, dissociation

Hero had failed. They'd failed to recognize Supervillain's master plan. They failed to help when the other heroes needed them. And perhaps worst of all, they had failed to save their Villain.

They only arrived in time to watch Villain get burnt to a sugary crisp by Supervillain. The flan shield they created around themselves was no match for the raw firepower Supervillain released. The unrelenting blaze charred any chance of Villain's survival.

Hero had only processed what had happened next when they found themselves sitting on the edge of a familiar rooftop.

Everything felt like a blur to them. The burn on their shoulder was numb. The soot on their cape unnoticed. The dried blood on their hands the only evidence confirming they ended Supervillain's reign.

Hero sat there for what felt like ages, gazing upon the city skyline until the lights smeared and scattered across their vision. Tears. Once they realized they were crying it felt like a floodgate opened. They couldn't stop. Hero pathetically wiped at their eyes with the backs of their hands.

Why Villain? Why Villain!?

Villain was one of the few villains in the city who wasn't some deranged psychotic menace to society! Villain would never think of harming anyone. They were just some goofy Villain who trapped people in toffee or put office buildings in jello or some other major inconvenience. They gave out candy when they were arrested and offered other villains lollipops in holding cells. They ate sugar cubes chronically and paid hackers to get your Pinterest account so they could spam you with dessert recipes.

Hero wished they'd told Villain how much they loved them sooner.

Hero was sure if Villain were still alive they'd make a joke about smelling like burnt cookies. The ash left behind didn't offer such comfort.

They reached a quivering hand into their pocket and pulled out a couple crushed sugar cubes. Hero cupped the cubes in both hands, closed their eyes and brought their clasped hands to their forehead. With a croaky voice they talked out loud, perhaps hoping their words would be heard.

"I miss you. God, I miss you." They sniffled and leaned into their hands, trying to steady themselves. "It shouldn't have been you. I should have gotten there sooner. I should have known what would happen. I should have reached out more."

Their voice cracked as they continued.

"It should have been me!" They openly weeped. "I was supposed to protect this city! I was supposed to protect you!"

"How am I supposed to go on knowing you aren't here! How am I supposed to patrol what's left of this shit hole of a city without you sitting on this roof beside me?

How am I supposed to patrol without you insisting we bounce instead because you want to turn the sidewalks to jello?

How am I supposed to enter your lair without you demanding I open the windows you can't reach because you paid extra for them and don't want them to go to waste?

How am I supposed to laugh when I can't hear your dumb jokes? Or see you put on a shirt backwards because you want to see if I'll notice.

I'll never hear you crunch another sugar cube like some goddamn horse ever again. I never thought I'd miss that noise but right now... Right now I'd give anything to hear that horrific crunching sound.

I'm so sorry for everything! For getting you killed! For never reaching out to know you better! For being a coward who couldn't even tell you how happy you made me! How much light you brought to everyone. How much light you brought into my boring empty life! I love you! I loved you!"

Hero collapsed into themselves, murmuring tearful confessions of love and regrets. They were completely alone now in this world. Family long gone, a job that wouldn't take too kindly to "vigilante justice", and just losing the only person in the world they cared about.

It seemed like they spent an eternity crying when a stutter step came from behind them.

They turned to find a roughed up Villain standing frozen, mouth covered by their hands and tears in their eyes.

They couldn't believe it. Their body moved on instinct as they ran to give them the tightest hug, holding Villain's head to their chest as they cried into their hair. Both parties were a mess of crying and "I thought you were dead's".

It wasn't until 20 minutes later that they calmed down enough to even begin talking, still holding onto each other for dear life.

"I thought I lost you." Villain sobbed, adding to the tear marks on Hero's suit.

"I thought so too." Hero returned. "When Supervillain sent that message I flew as fast as I could, but I only arrived to see you..." They choked on the words while Villain pet their back.

"You got there in time. I would have... you know... But your arrival distracted Supervillain enough for me to escape. The moment she took her eyes off me I dropped beneath the floor using the flan shield as a cover." Villain explained.

"But when I finally got out and back to the fight no one was there. The only thing left was a trail of blood and tons of ash. I thought she..." Villain reached up to Hero's face, firmly cradling their jaw as if to prove they were there.

"I'm here." Hero whispered, placing a hand over the one on their jaw and leaning into it. Neither were sure who leaned in first but it didn't really matter. They shared a tender and delicate kiss, neither wanting to hurt the other more than they had been today. It was clear they both felt this way about each other for a long time. To Hero, the kiss felt like home.

When they pulled away Hero was the first to speak.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Villain's immediate response made Hero's heart sing. Their next move would surprise Hero even more.

"Let's run away together."

"What?"

"You heard me. Just me and you. The world thinks we're gone, no one will ask questions, so let's just leave. We don't have to play this stupid good guy bad guy game anymore! We can just go somewhere far away from this and live a happy life together! I want this. I want us! And I don't want any of this to ever happen again. I know this is sudden but-"

"Where were you thinking?"

"Huh?"

"I'll follow you anywhere, but I'd prefer some place rural. I don't think I like cities anymore."

The smile on Villain's face set Hero's heart aglow.

Two plane tickets and one shower later the two of them stood hand in hand on a runway.

"Hero? Is this a crazy thing to do?" Villain fidgeted nervously. Two squeezes on their hand turned their attention to Hero's face.

"Yeah. But I wouldn't want it any other way Sugar Cube." Hero said with a smile.

"Kiss for good luck?"

"Kiss for good luck."

[shzmluvrs]

Hi! I'm the same anon that requested the "Batson and The Bat's son" imagine. I'm so glad you had fun writing it ❤️ and honestly- I can't stop rereading it 😭 words can't describe how it makes me feel (in the best way ofc!). I'm hoping it isn't too soon to be asking for a (kinda) sequel 💀 or prequel- depends on you!

Basically Billy talks about the reader to his family but he's kinda vague, since he doesn't wanna reveal too much and he knows Freddy would bombard him and her with questions if he says too much. They also haven't met the reader yet so they start joking that she's imaginary. One day the team gets themselves into a situation they can't get out of. So the reader comes in and saves them and in the heat of the moment Billy says smth like "SEE- SHE'S REAL". After he says that he has to inevitably introduce the reader to them. Idk what else I want to happen 😭 tho I trust your creative mind 🛐 pls take your time and have a good day ✨💖

Omg haii😼!! I'm so happy you enjoyed it, like, I wasn't sure how well it was going to turn out, but I think I did right by you, which is always the goal for any requester🫶🏽. Anyhow, yes, I am happy to continue your "Wonder-Daughter dates Billy" lore, I'm super into this, and I really hope you like it😙💕.

~ Star✨️

Themyscirian Girlfriend

Prompt: The duties of being an "average" teenage boy are proving to be quite difficult for Billy. School, chores, being a superhero, keeping your family safe from supervillains, magic, and monsters... And, oh yeah, making sure you don't get beat up by your superhero girlfriend's best friends. OH, and make sure you don't reveal her secret identity to anyone...

That last bit is extra difficult when you have a nosy, superhero obsessed, younger-by-a-month little brother, though.

Timeline: Post S!:FOTG

TW/Content: Freddy teasing TF outta Billy⚡️Bizzaro cameo😱?!⚡️Swearing, cuz teenagers do that⚡️You (reader) being so awesome-powerful-cool⚡️Billy loving you so, so, so much🥺⚡️So many references, be like Ash and Ketchum all

Reader: Fem! She/Her/Hers Pronouns! Wonder Woman's Daughter!

Requested By: Anon

Back to Master List

The golden light casted above the two of you dowsed your body in gold, creating an aura around your figure that Billy wished was nothing short of permanent. Not that he didn't already believe you to be a gift he had no clue how he earned. He just thought the added halo effect seemed fitting, even if it was just a result of a house/porch light that needed thorough cleaning.

"Thank you for joining me today." You spoke once he disconnected his earbuds from the jack of his phone. "I had a great time with you, as always."

"Of course! I'd never miss a chance to go out with you." He admitted, a lot quieter than his voice had previously been on the walk back to his home. But swiftly, the confidence returned as he clicked his phone off and smiled.

"Next time, I'll introduce you to some Steve Lacy."

You tilted your head while he went on in better clarification.

"He's another musician. You'll like him."

Your lips formed an 'Oh' shape as you nodded in understanding before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek and then his forehead.

"I'll see you next week, okay, Billy?"

He nodded, ignoring the heat rising through his body at your simple acts of affection. Maybe he had gotten a little used to giving it, but receiving it back was always such a hassle for his mind. Though you couldn't help but find it endearing when he'd trip and stumble over his words or be genuinely left in surprise whenever you'd reciprocate whatever love he had to offer.

But not this time, because he had focused himself on a heavier subject matter, his words catching you before you could walk away.

"Do you really have to go?"

"Hm?" You hummed in confusion, your head turning to look back at him. It was once you saw the look of forlorn glossed in his eyes that you gave him your full attention again, making your way back in front of him as he explained.

"For the week, I mean. Do you really have to go all the way back to Them... There-is... Themu...uh..."

"Themyscira?" You finished, Billy nodding at the correct pronunciation of your birthplace while you giggled.

"You can just call it Paradise Island. But, thank you for trying."

Billy nodded respectfully, almost laughing while he talked.

"Yeah, I bet it is paradise if there's more girls like you over there..."

"Huh?" You quirked a brow at his statement, Billy immediately sensing his slip-up and grasping at loose straws to fix it.

"I... I just mean, because like, I really like you and since you're from there, there's other women like you, or...your mom."

"What?!" You gasped, Billy letting out a curt sigh at his own, horrible explanation. So, he just gave up instead. It was probably for the best. Or, more accurately, in his best interest.

"I just-! I'd...! I love you, and I'd never breathe in another person's direction because nobody can compare to you...?"

"...Much better." You praised his statement that came out as more of a question waiting for your approval, giving him a playful narrow of the eyes while he gave a breath of relief.

"But, yes, I do have to return to Themyscira. I am due to compete in this year's Amazonian Olympic Games. They will determine whether or not I am worthy of my title and abilities. You, of all people, should understand this given you have a magical wizard looking out for you and your family, yes?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"-Plus, I just..." You sighed, looking off for a moment in melancholy. "I just really want to make my mother proud. She was much younger than me when she first competed, and though she didn't win, I still have a lot to live up to since I haven't returned in nearly eight years."

Billy nodded, showing his understanding for the matter while your gaze remained glued to the porch floor beneath you.

"Are you nervous?" He asked, and almost instantly, you nodded. Hell, just thinking about the whole ordeal made the jitters appear in your stomach and hands.

"Immensely."

With a warm smile, Billy gently took both of your hands into his, cupping them so they'd stop shaking while making sure he was able to hold eye contact with you.

"Well, I just want you to remember that you'll do amazing. No matter what happens, you're still worthy to me, and you'll always have a place here. Just, y'know...be careful. And good luck; don't let them get in your head."

"Oh, Billy..." You sighed in fondess but didn't get to express any further gratitude for his kind words as he went on.

"And also, call me if something happens."

You gave him a look, one that was a clear expression of, "Do you really think we have those silly little phone-thingies on the island...?" He caught it, nodding side to side a little before re-wording.

"Send me a bird letter if anything happens. And like, seriously, be careful because I know it's probably a long trip there and back. Which reminds me, please come back soon. And-!"

"-Billy...!"

He hushed.

"...I will, don't worry yourself. I'll be careful, I'll send you bird letters, and most importantly..."

Just as you had before, but directly on his right dimple this time, you placed down a gentle kiss. A reminder and a promise.

"I love you. And I will be back as soon as I can be."

You watched in amusement at the boy in front of you beginning to grow even more bashful than before, unable to look you in the eyes for fear he'd just crumble beneath you. And honestly, neither you nor him would have it any other way. But, just to be on the safe side and make sure he didn't actually do so, you were quick to capture him in a real kiss. Billy eager to return it with a passion that was predictable yet always appreciated and matched.

"You know I have super-hearing, right...??"

The voice went echoed into the air, the same place your skirt and hair went flying at the sudden gust of wind that almost knocked the two of you over.

"The hell...?" Billy commented as he held you to keep the two of you from falling over, looking around in confusion while you merely rolled your eyes.

"Jon..." You all but murmured, and in reference to his super-hearing, he responded with another burst of speed and more echoed words.

"I'm just saying, like, are you two done now? I don't wanna hear you guys swap spit."

"Obnoxious with the use of your powers, I fear you may hardly deserve them...!! Bring yourself here so you don't have to keep listening in!" You shouted in a scolding tone before letting out a breath and shaking your head.

"Sorry. He's my ride." You both explained and apologized to Billy, the boy nodding in understanding with a slight chuckle before the two of you smiled at Jon's very fast appearance. Stopping right in between you with a quickly dispersing cloud of air behind him, he was quick to give you a joking snarl as you shot him a deadpanned glare.

"Can we go, now? I have a cerfew, too, y'know."

"Yeah, well, some of us can't fly, nor have super-speed. Consider yourself lucky."

The raven-haired boy simply shrugged, sticking his hand out towards Billy to initiate a greeting that the brunette returned with a smile.

"'Sup, Jon?"

"Nothin' much, just, y'know... saving the world. No biggie."

Billy nodded in understanding as they dapped each other up, a smug smile gracing both of their lips.

"Same, same."

"Idiots..." You sighed, unable to contain your smile at the friendship that had blossomed between the two. Damian, on the other hand... was still a work in progress, hence is absence.

It wasn't long after their brief moment of catching up that the two of you took your leave, Jon carrying you as you waved down to your boyfriend for the final time this evening, him waving back until Jon was swiftly out of sight. A loud, crashing boom of him breaking the sound barrier to follow up after that caused the front door to swing open.

"I thought I said no Shazaming in the house...?"

Billy whipped around to face Victor, thinking quickly to come up with a viable excuse.

"It wasn't me!"

Nice one, Billy.

"It was my girlfriend, she just left, like... two seconds ago."

Victor raised a brow at his son's explanation, watching as he scratched the back of his neck while continuing to ramble on.

"Well, technically, it wasn't her. She was getting a ride from someone else and he- It- Whatever, nevermind, it doesn't matter."

The man chuckled while his son slipped past him and into the house, letting out a teasing, "Girlfriend, huh? I guess that explains the..." and circling around his own face to imply something. Billy, who didn't even spare a look back, hadn't caught on upon making his way to the dining room.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

All five of his siblings, his parents, and welcomed guest Anthea, watched as Billy shoveled spaghetti into his mouth at an ungodly rate. Which one would think would be impossible for a literal demi-god, but here they were. Alas, it's not like anyone could really blame him. It was his favorite meal, it was Rosa's cooking, and he was sick of the vegetarian meals Darla had been making for the past four days.

Although, it wasn't the main reason he was being gawked at in the moment, Freddy and Eugene the ones to be stifling laughter while the rest wanted nothing more than to tell him. It was clear he didn't realize, it was just a matter of how to approach the subject...

"Um... Billy?" Mary began gently, the teen not even looking up from his plate as he continued to eat, unknowing of his entire family's attention on him.

"You have... a little something, like, all over... your face right now." She made the same circling motion around her face as Victor had prior, not that he saw that one either. Just missing it, actually, finally looking up to notice all of the odd stares towards his seat at the table.

"Oh." Was his only reaction, setting down his fork to wipe his cheek. It gained more unseen giggles for some reason, but his only goal was to get back to eating, so natrually, he brushed then off with a curt, "Thank you, Mary." and continued is stuffing.

"No, you still..." Anne spoke aloud this time, her words trailing off when she realized she hadn't caught him in time once he started eating again.

"You just made it worse, dude." Mary giggled, having to lean her head down on the back of her hand to hide it.

"Oh." Billy spoke again, brows furrowed in the slightest while Rosa had set down her own fork. She motioned for her son to come closer, picking up a napkin and slightly dipping it into her water.

"C'mere honey, let me just wipe them for you..."

"Mom- No, stop it, I got it." He reassured, slightly embarrassed by her offer while going for his own napkin. "I'm not five."

And with one quick motion of his napkin up and down his face, it was clear to everyone but him he had simply made the situation much worse.

"There."

It drew in more laughter, this time from everyone, as he stared around the table in confusion that slowly turned into annoyance. It was like being on the outside of an inside joke, and if there was one thing he was tired of feeling in his life, it was being left out.

"What...?" He questioned, Darla the first and very eager to ask simply out of her own and pure curiosity.

"How come you got kissies all over your face?"

. . .

"...Huh...?"

Everyone burst into laughter, Billy's questioning gaze soon shifting into one of realization as he thought back. Back to moments that felt forever ago, where you had placed kisses across his face. Kisses with your lips coated in dark red lipstick...

"Oh... my god, (Y/N), why... just, why...?" He cursed your name lightly, now taking up Rosa on that offer to clean his face. Not that it mattered, his face still as dark red as the kisses that had now been wiped clean out of sheer embarrassment.

"So that's her name?" Victor pointed out, his voice and chest swelling with pride for his son's unadmitted achievement in life. Getting himself a girlfriend. "(Y/N)..."

He moved his hand across in the air as though your name were the title to an upcoming movie or a fresh take. A new and interesting topic, something this family thrived in, especially during dinnertime. And Billy, natrually, was not at all prepared and internally scolded himself for not being careful enough with his words.

It only grew more chaotic from there, Mary, Rosa, Darla, and Anthea letting out squeals loud enough to rival the TV playing in the living room as background noise.

"Billy, you never told me you had a girlfriend! Since, uh, when...?"

"Why would I ever tell you...?" Billy countered Mary's words, Darla already voicing her fantasies on merging her into the already big family.

"Her name is so pretty! Is she pretty, too? I bet she's gorgeous, like a princess! D'you think she'll play mermaid princesses with me?!"

"She must be...!" Rosa agreed swiftly with a laugh, motioning towards Billy fondly with her hand. "You saw all of the little besos she gave him. She probably thinks the same of you, Billy... My sweet boy with his own girlfriend, aww...!"

She just couldn't take it, placing a hand over her heart out of pure happiness for her son who had seemed to have finally found his love. His first one, at that. Which yes, he did, but-

"Mom, stop it, it's not that big of a deal, please..."

Not what he was thinking when you first asked him out, but whatever.

"Oh my gosh," Anne gushed, already jumping in with her own opinion to give. "With a name like that, she's bound to be amazing."

"I-" She kept going, Billy hardly even able to inhale as his siblings gushed on.

"Does she go to Fawcett, too? How come we've never seen her around?"

Freddy's scoff of a laugh caused the attention to leave Billy for a split second and move onto him, the curly-haired boy casually taking a bite from his own plate while he spoke.

"Pro'lly 'cause she ain't real..."

He jumped slightly when Anne quickly landed a slap to his arm, his mouth full and chewing as he laughed and went, "What?" Before it was his mother's turn to scold him verbally.

"Be nice, Freddy, this is probably a big deal for your brother."

Billy rolled his eyes. Not at Freddy (even though he debated kicking him under the table for his implication). But at the sudden attention he was receiving on the topic of his accidentally mentioned girlfriend. He hadn't even known whether or not if he was ready to tell them about you, let alone introducing you to them. Plus, he didn't trust himself enough not to slip up about the fact that you were Valkyrie. Or Wonder Woman's daughter. Or... both facts.

But on the other hand, he wouldn't tolerate any slander of your name, nor would he allow either of you two to become the target of any teasing from the family, so...

"Well, first of all, yes... she is real, Freddy..." Billy glared in his direction, the room going quiet at his words while he continued to clear the case of your existence up.

"And second, Darla, she is... beyond gorgeous. Like, angel levels of pretty, it's unbelievable."

"Wow!!" Darla squealed in excitement as Freddy gave a small tilt of his head to the side.

"Unbelievable, wow, you don't say?"

But nobody heard, too focused on the description of your person and enthralled with just the way he did it. Full of passion and care they hadn't even realized the boy possessed for anyone outside of the family, let alone a girl. A love that couldn't be replicated or replaced, something that'd make you glow red if you had been in the room to hear it.

"She's got this amazing hair that frames her face perfectly, and she wears glasses, but when she takes them off, you can see how, like... just wow her eyes are. They remind me of a type of jewel or something because they literally sparkle when she's happy or are firey with determination when she's- uh... doing something that requires a lot of focus.

Her entire face is just something I can't stop looking at, and gosh, that girl is... her body is-..." He coughed. "She's a little bit taller than me, so... yeah..."

"And you just... never thought to maybe bring her over? Y'know, just 'cause..." Freddy shrugged, holding back his complacent tone as Eugene bobbed his head in agreement.

"And, let me guess, she texts you all the time, and you go on walks around the park together every Saturday."

At their back-to-back quips and hushed laughter, Billy shot them a scowl as Rosa began to nod in oblivious agreement.

"Yeah, sweetie, why don't you invite her over for dinner tomorrow night? It's a Friday, after all. You can tell her we'd love to meet her."

With a chorus of agreements settling consternation into his chest, he blurted out a slew of excuses as he waved his hand up and down as if to brush the idea of you coming over away.

"Nah, no, that's... she- We already have a lot of people here, she might get... overwhelmed! Yeah. And, y'know, it's just not a good idea."

"And whyyy not?" Freddy pushed, leaning against the open palm of his hand while feigning an affable smile and forcing his brows to jump up and down in silent suggestion.

"She's busy." Was his simple statement, Eugene following up on his claim in an instant.

"Busy doinggg...?"

"...Work." He filled in the blank awkwardly, practically squirming in his seat at the expecting silence. He conjured up some of your favorite hobbies in his mind, anything as far away from superhero work as possible, so he could word it as some type of job that you "have".

"She works as a (Favorite/Hobby), and she's probably gonna' be, like, swamped with stuff to do, so... tomorrow wouldn't work."

"Oh, how wonderful!" Rosa praised, impressed by your skills and interests. "We'll certainly have to make time for her over the weekend or next week then!"

"She can't. She'll be busy all week, too."

"Natrually..." Freddy poked with a theatrical eye roll and a closed-mouth grin. "She must be on the 'twenty-four-seven, forever' shift, which I'd expect from a girl with an imaginary sense of work-life balance."

"Harhar, you're hilarious." Billy mocked, now going through with his actions to send his brother a kick to the shin under the table.

"She's actually going to-...on...uh..." He had to stop himself. What would've been a smug brag about you visiting Paradise Island, becoming a realization that would just throw you under the bus. Plus, it's a lot more unbelievable than everything he had said so far. As much joy as it would bring Billy to rub a trip to Themyscria in his face, he'd just have to make Freddy jealous another time. Besides, he didn't necessarily have to lie. He could just not tell them the full story.

It wasn't a lie if he never told them otherwise to begin with.

"She's going on vacation. With her mother. So, she's gonna' be gone for the rest of the week."

"Oh, really?" Mary piped up out of genuine curiosity, having always wanted to travel herself. "Where's she going?"

. . .

"Out of the country."

"Oh."

"How convenient!" Eugene chirped while he slid his phone towards Billy, as if he were telling him to go ahead and prove it. "Why not just FaceTime her, then? You know, just check in like any good boyfriend should? Maybe even shoot her a little text."

"I can't do that!" Billy exclaimed. "I wouldn't wanna bother her or be rude or anything. She's- it's a... mother-daughter bonding thing, it's different. Hard to explain."

In a sense, that could also be construed as truth, considering you'd be competing in an Olympic event, racing and fighting against others and the elements to both claim and prove your status. Something that would ideally make your mother very proud. Billy himself didn't even one-hundred percent understand the whole event, so it was right for one to assume that he probably would have trouble explaining it to his family. Should he ever have to, of course.

Good thing he won't.

A silence loomed over the family as Billy loosely twirled his spaghetti around his fork. He'd almost be grateful for it if it weren't so uncomfortable. He was sick of being pressed about you, not that he wouldn't take any chance to show you off otherwise. And if it wasn't that, he was annoyed at the way Freddy and Eugene didn't seem to even believe you were real, Mary and Anne able to sense this as they gave each other an unsure look.

"Uhm, well..." The goddess coughed, playing with the hem of her (Freddy's) sweater. "How'd you two meet?"

Finally! Something Billy knew the proper answer to!

"Oh, we were-"

Ohp-. Wait, nevermind. No he didn't.

You two were saving the world when you first met, battling a beast that wasn't even real because it turned out to be a test? He didn't know the details of that dilemma very well, either. All he could remember fondly was the way you looked at him when he accidentally revealed himself. Warm and promising, full of care and will-power that he'd been drawn to ever since.

The same look you gave him when you asked him out on that very first date, where he-

Oh, great idea...!

"At an ice cream shop. I was at an ice cream shop, and that's where I met her. She had never had any before, and so I suggested she start off with something simple, like vanilla. I bought some for her and we spent the rest of the afternoon together. We've been going out ever since."

"Awww~!" Rosa and Anne chorused, Freddy already calling nonsense at the story with a few chuckles hidden behind his hand.

"Wait, so... lemme' get this straight..."

"Frederick..." Anne warned with his full name. He ignored (and he'd be apologizing for it later, no doubt).

"You mean to tell me, this girl has never had ice cream before? Like, in her seventeen-to-eighteen years of life, she had never had one singular scoop of frozen milk and sugar?"

"Dude-"

"-Nevermind the fact that you just, outta' nowhere, decided to rizz up some random girl you didn't even know inside of an ice cream parlor."

"Yeah, Freddy, I did." Billy snapped, waving his hand around in the air for a moment as if he were magically conjuring up the false memory. "And apparently, it all worked out because we've been dating for months, now. Thank you very much."

Jaws dropped at this, having not expected such a bond. It was one thing for Billy to have started a fresh relationship. Maybe for him to even be a little secretive about it until things had proven to be smooth sailing for a long time. But months? Either he forgot to brag about it, or she most definitely didn't exist.

Freddy and Anne almost immediately turned to give each other a knowing look, as if they were reading each other's minds before speaking in unison.

"Is this like a Canadian girlfriend thing...?"

Billy huffed through his nose, knowing better than to let insults fly at the dinnertable with his parents present. But regardless of that fact, Mary was the first to tell he had grown fed up, nudging Victor on the arm while she murmured.

"Here we go again..."

"She's real, okay? (Y/N) is very much real, and you two are just jealous because it took an entire dragon rising from the depths of hell for you two to get together."

And off he went, storming away, leaving Freddy and Anthea's mouths agape in shock while Pedro and Eugene practically sobbed from their loud chortles.

"Do you think he'll come back this time if I call him?" Victor cheesed, Mary shaking her hide from side to side at his reference from the last time Freddy had pissed Billy off at the table. Speaking of which...

"Alright, yeah, whatever...!" He called as if the older boy was still listening. "At least we can all actually see my girlfriend...!"

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

"Is it her?"

Though Freddy's index finger was very obviously directed towards a young girl in the hallway, his brown eyes remained glued to Billy's green ones, waiting for them to change in recognition. They didn't, remaining as stoic as they had when Freddy first began this little game of "Point Out The Person That Looks Closest To Billy's Imaginary Girlfriend."

"No."

"Okay, then it's her." Freddy suggested next, his arm practically flying across Anthea's person just to point his finger at the girl they waltzed past. Billy swore that if the poor thing wasn't in between them, he'd tackle Freddy to he ground, in the middle of the hallway and all. So, maybe it was a good thing Anthea was there.

Billy's eyes drifted to the next victim, a short girl with scene hair and huge platform demonias that stared them down in confusion. He quickly shook his head.

"No, it's not her. (Y/N) is way taller than her. Genetically, without platforms."

"Fine, what about her?" Freddy waved lazily in the direction of someone ahead. "She looks like your type."

Billy huffed.

"That's literally just a guy with long hair."

Freddy's face twisted in disbelief, shaking his head as though he knew better.

"No it isn-"

"It is." Anthea cut in before her boyfriend could finish, turning him towards the person who had finally spun away from his friend and proving to Freddy that he was, in fact, just some dude with a gorgeous head of hair.

"Oh. Mm-."

"Can you just-?" Billy started a desperate plea that went ignored as Freddy smiled in satisfactory, spotting the next girl. Who, yes, was actually a girl this time.

"What about her? Look, she's even how you described, glasses, tall, (Your/Feature), the whole shaza-...shebang..."

Billy hardly wanted to entertain this any longer, but upon looking her direction, noticed swiftly how oddly her features did line up to yours. And yet...

"No, that's not her. I told you already last night, (Y/N) doesn't go here. She's... homeschooled." He excused, quite proud of how fast he had come up with it. Plus, it was kind of true, Diana the one who had taught you most of your studies. And when not her, a private tutor Bruce had graciously spent his money on for you to have.

Yes, the Bruce Wayne.

"Oh, of course. What an awesome coincidence."

"Freddy, stop it." Anthea nudged him, not allowing the teasing to continue any further upon seeing the scowl from last night returning onto Billy's face.

"I'm sure he's probably telling the truth, I mean, what reason would he have to lie? Besides, she's probably just...shy. Maybe she's shy."

And though the girl was satisfied with her answer, Billy could only laugh giddily to himself while remembering the time you had allowed him to watch a very special training session you had in the past.

"Yeah, if you call accidentally bodyslamming Superman "shy," then sure. Most timid girl I know..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing...!" He brushed his remark away when he had almost been caught, quick to change the subject before he could be questioned any further.

"Guys, look, just drop it, alright? I know you don't believe me, and you know what? I don't care anymore. I'm happy, outside of the fact that you're really working my nerves, and that's all that matters. I'll see you two later..."

"Billy, hang on...!" Anthea called, having not meant to cause a fuss on the matter. She couldn't help it. She was entirely too good-natured. But, there was Freddy, always there to ease her own tensions and make her laugh in the process.

"Agh, don't worry about him. He'll get over it. You know, the imaginary girlfriend thing is a common phase, cited by phenomenons all across the globe of people with the exact same conditions and symptoms. Lois Lane even wrote an article on it way-back-when she was first starting out."

"Oh, yeah?" Anthea entertained smugly, Freddy nodding fastly as he droned on.

"Totally. It was a very interesting article, but it made total sense. I mean, even I went through a phase just like it, and I turned out fine."

"Oh?"

And then it clicked, Freddy's face growing a deep shade of red under his freckles.

"Yea- Only when I was like, super tiny-young, I mean. Like, it was- I..."

His rambles stopped when he noticed Anthea's raised brow, almost laughing to himself while they paused in front of her classroom door.

"Just...forget I told you that. I love you my very much, my real and amazing girlfriend. I swear, my pillo- I mean, Jennifer was just a quick fling and nothing compared to the goddess that stands in front of me...?"

Through her giggles, she nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek and taking her leave.

"That's what I like to hear~. Now, don't go off 'saying the word' while I'm gone, 'kay?"

Freddy nodded at her parting heed, knowing it was a reference to the way he'd ditch class to go off and do hero work without warning.

"I won't, I won't...!"

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

"SHAZAM!"

"Alright, what's the plan?!" Freddy shouted as they all gawked up towards the threat, Billy shrugging casually while he shook his head as though he were literally wracking his brain for a proposal.

"Uhh...Ahhh... No idea! I think we should just wing it, to be honest...!"

"That's a terrible plan!!" Mary and Anthea shouted in unison, the shorter girl using magic to cloak over herself and change into her armored attire.

"Superman's weakness is Kryptonite, right?!" Mary swiftly informed the group, Freddy nodding in confirmation. "Good! If Bizzaro is anything like him, it should be the same! If we can distract him long enough for one of us to catch him from behind, we'll have a chance at detaining him! Then, we can send him back to his world...!"

"Yes, awesome, Wisdom of Salamander...!" Billy praised, leaving all of his siblings to groan.

"Solomon...!"

"Whatever...!!"

And with that, they put her plan into action, Freddy and Pedro flying up high until they were facing the Kryptonian clone with complacent, challening grins.

"Hey, Bizarro-Man...!!" Freddy called, nudging Pedro. "Since you're a copy of Superman, is it really true you have super strength like him?! Betcha' we could take you in a fight...!"

The villain merely scoweld, sending a sudden breath of flame towards them. Freddy dodged, Pedro just missing his chance to do the same before being his with the blast and being sent flying into the nearest billboard.

"...Fire breathing?! You can breathe fire?!" Freddy yelled in a panic, unable to add on how that was very much unlike Superman's notable ability of freeze breath before realizing Bizarro was barreling straight for him. Freddy took off, both of their super speed rivaling each other as he crated a path for his siblings to follow.

"Where are we gonna' get Kryptonite?" Darla gasped, all of their heads turning as the two flew by. Mary pondered the situation deeply, having never even seen the green emerald herself, let alone come into contact with it. She figured it was a lost artifact, a gem only the most powerful would have. Except for Superman, all things considered. So maybe more like magical powerful people.

People like...

"The Wizard!" She shouted. "He's the most powerful person we know, having kept all of his powerful objects in his lair, right?"

"Yeah," Billy agreed. "But what does he have to do with anything? He's not the-"

"I know, but the lair is ours, now!" She explained further. "Which means so are all of the things in it!"

"But-!"

"Anthea, Darla...! Go help Freddy and make sure to keep Bizarro busy! Eugene, go help Pedro, make sure he's alright!"

"On it!" Anthea gave Mary a nod, Darla having already dashed away as Eugene made his way towards his brother.

"Billy, you come with me, hurry...!" Mary instructed, grabbing his wrist and practically dragging him along as he followed in confusion.

"Mary, where are we going?! This is really not a good time to ditch them, we-!"

"We're not ditching them." She insisted, opening a random shop door with the intention for it to open a portal to the Rock of Eternity. And luckily, it did just that as she went on with a rapid explanation for her actions.

"You know how Eugene has been mapping the place out? Well, I've been helping him. Mainly making sure he doesn't get lost, but also because I've been studying it all. Making sure we know that everything that's in there is actually safe."

They wandered past the main part of the lair, the area where everything had been decorated freely and most obviously lived in, to the more labrynth-like parts that always confused Billy and Darla whenever they tried their own hands at exploring. But this time, Mary was there to lead him, having a clear sense of direction seeking out whatever it was she was searching for.

"We came across this space or...cave or something. Like a mine, y'know? And at first, I wasn't sure what was in it. Neither of us were, I mean, I couldn't find any of them in any books or articles. It's like... all the gems that are in that cave aren't from here or something. From another world."

"Mary, this really is some interesting stuff, but I don't get wh- woah..."

Billy's rambles were cut short, the two siblings having stopped in front of the very cavern Mary described. The entrance was glowing due to all of the luminous crystals buried off inside of it. Hell, the cave itself seemed neverending, branching off into different routes, holes, and other tunnel systems that were surely easy to get lost in.

Luckily, they didn't need to go too far in, Mary stopping Billy from doing so with the tug of his arm back closer to her person. She was slightly bent over, hovering above a large chunk of what he assumed to be an emerald. Practically matching the color of his eyes, they both sparkled at one another while Mary began to confess her opinions.

"I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before, but if my assumption is correct...if these are otherworldly artifacts...then I don't know what else this could be, other than-"

"Kryptonite..." Billy finished, turning towards his sister with an ecstatic grin. "Mary, you genius, you! Here, c'mon, help me get this stuff out of the wall...!"

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

"Where the hell is Mary with that Kryptonite...?!" Freddy whined in an almost sing-song tone, blasting a continuous bolt of lightning directly at Bizzaro. It had no effect, merely slowing him down by a second until Darla, Pedro, and Eugene all joined in. And though it didn't hurt him, he was stuck in his tracks, trying his hardest to deflect it.

"She said she had an idea...!" Darla grunted. "But I dunno' what! She just took Billy back to the lair and- AAH!!"

Bizzaro had used all of his strength to blast the lightning back, sending the group soaring backward at the impact. As he began to stalk closer towards Darla, Eugene was quick to jump in the way with a protective, "No!" leaving his lips.

A bolt of lighting shot from his hands, Bizzaro quick to blast it with-

"Freeze...eyes...?"

The beam of icy blue turned Eugene's lighting into a solid rod of frozen air, the large block dropping to the ground and shattering beneath their feet. Freddy had... never seen a power like that before. It confused him, all of them, long enough to be a stall as Bizzaro quickly let off another beam towards them.

"Watch out...!!" Anthea warned, quickly hopping in the way with her hands out. Her palms glowed, swirling with golden power until the buildings and structures around them began to move and shift rapidly. Power of Axis, always a helpful tool in changing perspective, but not in changing the course of a blow to its intended target. Given the girl had learned this fact the hard way in the past, she was quick to turn to them in haste.

"We have to move, hurry! If we don't, we'll still get hit!"

Almost as if on cue, they watched the blast of ice cold vision barrelled towards them through a park, just barely missing all of the different play structures as the group swiftly managed to fly off in different directions. Freddy was sure to take Anthea in his arms, watching as the beam instead left a jungle gym frozen solid into a dome.

"Guys...!!"

Looking towards the voice, they were happy to spot Mary and Billy flying back towards them with a glowing, green gem in hand.

"No way-No way-No way!!" Freddy gushed as they approached, showing it off with pride. "You two actually found Kryptonite?! Do you know how rare this is?! Like, it's literally thought to be a myth, like, it's more believable than your imaginary girlfriend...!"

"Oh my god..." Billy groaned as the rest giggled. "C'mon, man, it's been like a week!"

"I'm being totally serious!" Freddy held his hands up as though he were giving surrender while Billy shook his head in dismay.

Mary sighed, floating in between the two boys with the gem in hand.

"Not the time, guys. Look, if we can keep Bizzaro distracted for just a little longer, this should definitely do the trick. We got this."

She held out her fist towards Billy, sending him a sure smile.

"You ready?"

"Yeah," he nodded, giving a smirk of his own before scanning the land beneath for their foe. He bumped her fist back. "Let's kick this dude's ass."

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

"Dude, we're getting our asses kicked...!!" Eugene grunted, struggling to pick himself up from the ground as he clutched his side.

"It's like he's more powerful than before!" Anthea alluded, wiping the blood from her lip as she helped Mary from the ground and onto her shoulder.

"I don't... understand..." She coughed, grateful for the support as she looked up to her two brothers, trying their best to subdue Bizzaro hand-to-hand.

"The Kryptonite should be working. It should...be making him weaker."

"Maybe it isn't what you thought it was..." Darla whimpered, sending her sister a look of vanquish.

Billy watched as Bizzaro landed a blow onto Freddy's chest, the man in blue being sent flying back into the earth with a loud yelp and a crash. He wanted to call for him but reminded himself to focus on the battle at hand if there would be any chance of defeat. Even if he was scared, as much as he didn't want to admit it.

You'd be scared, too, if some weird copy of Superman was hurdling towards you, Kryptonite wedged into his bleeding shoulder (blue blood, which was quite jarring when they first stabbed him) with some obtuse goal to destroy the world he deemed "lesser" than his own.

Because of this, he'd frozen up, unsure of how to counter his speed let alone his attack. Instead, he took it like a champ, as he had many punches even before he was a superhero, and went hurdling towards the ground just as Freddy had.

"Oh. Hey, man..." Freddy groaned when his brother appeared next to him.

"Having fun, yet?" Billy haphazardly joked, referring to Freddy's "love" and "enjoyment" for his "superhero duties."

"Oh, yeah, loads." He nodded unconvincingly, wiping the blood from his nose with his arm. "I love the smell of iron in the morning. And, y'know- the sounds of terror and destruction really just...pull it all together."

They helped each other up, checking themselves for any fatal injuries. And, when they found none, regrouped with the rest of their family in doldrums as they watched Bizzaro inflict his reign of dismantling on the city.

"What're we gonna do?" Darla asked, looking to her brother in worry.

"Your realm is not capable of destroying power such as this. How are we to do the same?"

Anthea's words had been directed towards Freddy but left Billy's mind swirling instead. Was she right? She had to be...

If the Champions of Magic and an entire goddess couldn't decide the fate of their opponents on the battlefield, who could?

. . .

Their heads whipped up at the sound of a furious battle cry, a shimmer of gold and the quick blur of your (H/C) locks barreling towards the enemy. Your sword drawn and in position to leave its target slain as you attacked from above, a ferocious look on your face for none other than the mockery of hope and justice below you.

When your weapon made contact, you knew better than to think it'd actually cut through Bizarro. But, it did send him hurdling towards the dirt as he had Freddy and Billy moments earlier. You had cut a large chunk of the green Kryptonite from his shoulder, dimming him back to his normal level of powerful abilities. And yet, you knew this wasn't the end, much more work to be done as you announced your threat.

"My mother and her colleagues have defeated you once, and you dare to return to this world and cause its people pain and anguish once again?!" Your booming scolds might've reminded someone that of a parent, pointing your sword below you at Bizzaro's stunned figure.

"How dare you have such audacity?! Let it be known I will not allow you to do so, and you will now fall by my hand, even if it kills me!"

"Valkyrie?!" - "(Y/N)?!"

Both of your aliases spoken into the air at the same time, yet it was Billy who wanted to slap himself after being the only one to have said your real name rather than your well-known, hero one. He even tried to ignore the looks his siblings (and Anthea) gave him, pure shock just oozing from their figures.

"That's (Y/N)?!" Mary shouted in bafflement.

"She's real?!" Freddy's tone of incredulity made Billy's eyes roll for a split second.

Not alloted any time for anyone to question or answer further, your head whipped back, you're firey (E/C) eyes glaring deeply into Billy's.

"You...!" You bellowed menacingly, and suddenly, he was a lot less excited to see you.

"Wha-?! Are you-? Oh...my gosh, are you mad at me right now?..."

From a bystander's point of view, it definitely looked a little silly, your shorter and younger appearing figure stomping towards this grown adult man, who was fearfully stumbling back away from you as you approached with anger. His face was dowsed in fear, and yours?

Where to begin...

"I leave you on your lonesome to protect your people for a week! A week! And this is what I'm fated to return to?! Do you even know what it is you've done allowing him to remain in such close proximity to green Kryptonite?!"

"I- Uh...Well, technically, it wasn't even really my idea, 'cause-"

"William."

You seethed his full name, cutting off his excuses, which consisted of throwing his older sister under the bus. She thanked whatever God above for that one, not even having been in your presence for a mere two minutes, and was terrified of your wrath.

The groan of Bizzaro rising from the dirt stopped the rest of your reprimands, leaving you the sigh in simple vexation before pointing a finger at your incautious lover.

"I will deal with you later."

A silence passed over as you leaped into action, everyone still left a bit shaken at everything you had to offer so far. Including Billy, even though all he could muster up was a quiet, "I told you she was real..."

"That's your girlfriend?!" Freddy nearly exploded. "Valkyrie is your girlfriend?! Dude, I-...! You-! You do know she's Wonder Woman's whole ass daughter, right?! How the fu-?!"

"-Clearly...!" Mary interrupted loudly before he could heavily cuss around Darla. "He's got a type!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever!" Billy exclaimed, already beginning to hover above the ground in hopes to aid his girlfriend. "It doesn't matter right now. We have to help her, c'mon!"

It was once Anthea and the Champions joined the fight, Bizzaro was left with a slim chance of winning. Especially without the enhancement of that same green jewel that always seemed to leave Superman weakened and withered. Mary was still lost on such fact, and Freddy was searching his mind for any possibility of how that could be so.

"I don't get it!" He finally wailed, exhausted from the fight and from using his brain overtime. "He's just like Superman, almost...! If he's such a copy, then how come none of our plans are working?!"

"That is because he is not a copy." You stated plainly, no evidence of normalcy left in your voice. What was left was that of a warrior. A warrior thick in the ways of battle and strategy, knowing your enemy much more than your allies seemed to.

"He is a mirror. Bizzaro, El-Kal, is from a twisted world he created. Everything there, including himself, is some backwards nuisance of what we're so used to here on our planet."

"Hold...Hold'up..." Eugene paused, unable to believe the information being told to him. "This guy's is from another planet just like ours?"

"Yes and no. His world resembles ours, but it is not. It is cubed shaped and docile, with a blue sun that amplifies El-Kal's strength. Much like how this earth's yellow sun aids Superman's. Kal-El."

"Ohh, ha, that's funny, I get it." Freddy chuckled. "It's all backwards over there, so Kal-El is...yeah, that's...that's bad..."

"Well," you smirked, the first and only hint of positivity you had exuded from your person since you had arrived. "Not all bad."

From the latchel which normally held your Lasso of Truth (well, a more miniature one, technically, because your mother wouldn't dare give up her own), was a medium-sized vile of blue liquid clipped in its place. You unhooked it carefully, showing it off to the group as your smirk stretched into a satisfied grin.

"What are the great and powerful without their weaknesses? Blue Kryptonite, liquefied. When I first arrived home this morning, I had seen the news. Trouble here in the heart of Philidelphia, and I immediately recognized that... that..."

"That dumbass question mark on his chest?" Billy spoke up for you. In much more vulgar terms, sure, but you couldn't help but agree with an admitting nod.

"Yes, precisely. I knew what he was capable of, and I knew that you all more than likely didn't have the proper contingencies to stop him. So, I asked Damian for a favor..."

Freddy leaned in towards Billy, putting a hand up as if it'd conceal his bad whispers.

"Who's Damian?"

"Don't worry about it." Billy ignored, slapping him away lightly as you finished.

"...With this, we will surely defeat Bizarro. I can detain him, and I will convince him to leave this world in peace once again."

You opened the vile, neon blue smoke immediately pouring from it like dry-freeze until you began to dump some of the contents onto the blade of your sword.

"All I need for you all to do, is keep him busy. Until then, hold out your hands..."

They all did as told, watching as the rest of the liquid went dumped into their palms while you explained such actions.

"Should any of you come into physical combat with him, your touch will now weaken him, leaving him vulnerable. Easier to take down."

"And what about you?" Billy asked, his tone laced with worry for your well-being. Your gaze softened as you moved closer, hardly used to having to look up at him. But, you could admit, you found it a nice change of pace as you reached up to hold his face in your palm.

"I will do what I have to. Don't worry about me, okay?"

"That's literally impossible, but okay."

You chuckled.

"Fair. Your only job is to make sure all goes well. And... don't make anymore 'dumbass' decisions. You keep that green Kryptonite away from Bizzaro."

Billy nodded, laughing at your use of his improper language before floating upwards to complete his task.

"Alright, guys...!" He called down, his siblings following in suite while you motioned Anthea to remain with you at ground levels.

"Let's kick this guy's ass. For real this time, though."

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

"Who is that?!" Rosa shouted as she stared at her TV in horror, scared for her superhero children tackling the evil Superman imposter with some random girl who had just shown up, as any mother would be.

Almost as soon as Victor moved to grab the keys for his van, the front door opened and in waltzed their children. Like ducks in a row, Mary, Pedro, Eugene, Darla, Freddy, Anthea, Billy, and-... ??

"Hi, mom!"

"Hey, Ma!"

"Hi, Mommy!"

"'Sup, Dad?"

The choruses of their greetings eased their nerves and tensions, but the sight of a new girl with glasses and her hair in a fancy, braided updo took them by surprise. She remained close to Billy, seemingly glued to his arm as he quietly attempted to convince her of the kind nature of his parents.

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose if it's trouble..."

"(Y/N), don't worry. They've been wanting to meet you for forever, you have nothing to worry about. They'll love you."

You looked towards him in surprise, already growing more anxious by the second.

"You told them about me?"

"Only the important stuff." He winked jokingly.

"Ah! My babies...!" Rosa shouted her greeting, more grateful than ever that they had returned safely, running over and planting a kiss on each one of their foreheads and pulling Darla and Anthea into bone crushing hugs.

So...! Uh," Victor started, already interested in your figure remaining quiet by the door. "Who's the new girl?"

Billy smiled this time, neither embarrassed nor annoyed by the inquiry of you while he proudly pulled your body into his by the waist.

"She's-"

"She's the coolest, ever!" Freddy announced, Darla practically jumping up and down as she agreed.

"Uh huh! And she's so pretty, just like I knew she'd be!"

"She literally sent that supervillain back to where he came from...! Like, without even breaking a sweat!" Eugene praised, leaving your cheeks to grow red with bashfulness.

"I have to admit, I think she'd be a good influence on Billy. She's super smart."

"And a good fighter."

Mary and Anthea were happy to admit such facts, Pedro the last to give a reserved shrug and a polite smile.

"I like her. She's dope."

Rosa and Victor were left to stand awkwardly, unsure of what to make of all the high-end words being spewed about like lightning while you struggled to fight back your grin.

"As I was saying...!" Billy exclaimed, giving his siblings the "Shut Up So I Can Talk" look. "This is (Y/N). My girlfriend."

Victor was the first to happily greet you, explaining how he'd heard so much about you, all good things (as you could clearly see), and that he was happy to have finally met you. Rosa, on the other hand, was leaned back with her eyes glued to the news on the TV. They would flicker back to you every now and again, making your heart beat faster in nerves until...

"Crazy question, I know... but...that doesn't happen to be you on the news... yeah?"

Immediately, you looked towards Billy, who could only shrug and scratch the back of his neck.

"The important stuff, huh?"

"Sorry...I tried..."

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose before giving a polite nod and announcing your introduction one final time...

"Yes, that... would be me. My name is (Y/N), otherwise known as Valkyrie. Daughter of Wonder Woman, Granddaughter of Zeus, and last born... of Themyscria."

Don't make me steal this idea and write a full-fledged book, Anon, I'll do it🤨 (I probably won't cuz writer's block likes to eat me alive). But seriously, I really hope you like this because again, I adore this, and I defo want more of your ideas/scenarios🥰🫶🏽.

~ Star✨️

Back to Master List

[saltydumplings]

Snippet #19

AAAHHHH I'M LATE UPLOADING THIS

"There's a lot more to this job than just fighting," the superhero explained, one hand pressed against the hero's back as they moved down the dark alleyway, practically knowing the route by heart now. "Sometimes it's better to use our voices than our fists. Diplomacy. Negotiating with an enemy is never easy, nor is it done often, but there are some cases where it is necessary."

"Like Supervillain," the hero said.

The superhero nodded. "Exactly like Supervillain. Believe me when I say that fighting them isn't worth it - even a victory would be a hollow one at that. Villains with power like their's need to be kept at bay at all costs: the people always come first, Hero. No matter what."

"So, that's what we're here to do, isn't it? T-To negotiate?"

"Yes. Don't worry, I'll do all the talking." The superhero suddenly stopped beside a door, opening it to reveal a narrow staircase. They motioned for the hero to go down, the other gulping a little but moving forwards all the same. "All you have to do is watch quietly and follow my direction."

"I'm meant to be like a witness, right? Just stand there and look pretty for legal purposes?" the hero joked lightly, trying their best to stave off their nerves.

Behind them the corners of the superhero's lips curled upwards in an amused grin. "Yes, something like that."

"I bet the paperwork for this kind of thing is hell," the hero continued. "How often does Supervillain request something from us?"

"Once a year. Twice if they're feeling particularly greedy."

"And what do they ask for? Money, or - I don't know - jewels? Free dental care?"

The superhero merely hummed in response. "You'd be surprised..."

At the bottom of the stairs was a dingy corridor leading into a small, circular room. The walls and floor were concrete - the air cold. Across from them was a second entrance practically identical to the one they'd come through and right at it's threshold stood the supervillain, leaning casually against the doorframe whilst they eyed the watch on their wrist.

"Cutting it a little close, aren't we, Superhero?" they asked. "A few minutes more and I'd have grown impatient."

Their tone seemed to be teasing but there was an edge to it that made the hero shiver, forcing them to take a small step back. The superhero, however, was undeterred.

"I'm never late," they said bluntly.

The supervillain let out a small huff of breath. A laugh or a scoff, the hero couldn't tell, but it hardly seemed to matter when the supervillain's gaze shot upwards, first surveying the superhero and then the slightly smaller figure beside them. They smiled wide, eyes roaming up and down the hero's frame with great interest, the sudden attention enough to make the other squirm on the spot.

"Well, in any case," the supervillain said, standing straight and taking a step forward, "I see you've brought me what I asked for."

The words washed over the hero like ice. Their mouth dropped open and their eyes went wide, turning to the superhero beside them in search of reassurance only for the other to refuse to even look at them.

"S-Superhero? I- I thought we were here to - to negotiate," the hero said.

They were ignored.

"Oh, but we have negotiated," the supervillain supplied instead, eyes still fixed upon the hero with what the other could only describe as a look of hunger. "This, dear pet, is the trade."

The hero shook their head, trying to take another step back only for the superhero to catch their arm.

"No," they said. "No, no, no - you can't. This - you're lying: Superhero, they're lying, right?"

Finally, their superior turned to them, face expressionless as they held the hero's gaze. "The people come first, Hero. No matter what: the people come first."

They let go then, gesturing vaguely to the supervillain in front of them.

"Go," they ordered.

"B-But I--"

"Go."

If they noticed the hero's tears their didn't comment on it.

For a second, the hero simply stood frozen - a numbing surge of betrayal sweeping through them. They knew they couldn't run; knew that they'd be overpowered in seconds if they even tried and if they did then would that...would that be classed as treason? They would be disobeying a direct order from their superior: refusal to follow through was seen as an act of villainy - they'd have their heroic status ripped from them.

The people come first, Hero.

Shakily, they took a step forward. Then another. Their gaze fixed down upon the floor, vision slowly getting blurrier as more tears caught in their eyes.

No matter what: the people come first.

Sacrifice one to save many. The hero guessed it made sense - tried to persuade themself that it made sense. This was just a part of the job. They were just...

Doing...

Their...

Job.

They stopped when the supervillain's boots came into view.

The hero didn't even need to look up to know that the other was smiling down at them - could practically feel the intensity with which the supervillain looked upon them. They jumped sharply as a hand came up to play with their hair, holding their breath as the supervillain began stroking them like they were some kind of pet - another hand coming up to wipe away the tears that fell down the hero's cheeks.

"Hush now, it's alright," the supervillain cooed. "I am going to take such good care of you..."

"You better," the superhero inserted suddenly, and the hero could have sworn the other used to have so much more warmth in their voice than this. "They're meant to last you the year. I won't react kindly if you go back on our deal a fourth time."

Fourth?

God, how many other people had been sacrificed already? Where were they now? The superhero had said they were meant to last a year but what did that mean - what did it mean? Were they going to die?!

The hand stroking through the hero's hair stopped. Slowly their head was tilted upwards, and their eyes were forced to meet the supervillain's.

"Oh, they'll last me," the other said with confidence. "After all, I picked them for a reason - you told me yourself, Superhero: this one does not break easily... Unless I get bored of them, I'll drag them out for as long as I can."

Part 2

[therealeagal]

Rating Disney films

I'm waiting on an event that will occur in my approximate future, so while I wait I thought I would kill time with a rating of some Disney movies. What a lark! But before we begin:

Item: The scale will be F, D, C, B, A. Normally I would consider C to be the base starting point, but since Disney is a heartless mega-conglomerate that would sell orphan souls if they thought there was a market for it, I'm sorry to say that every film is automatically docked a point, so we're starting at D.

Item: I'm only going to cover the ones I've seen, and only the ones from pretty recently. The last ten years, let's say. Otherwise we'll be here all day and I probably will have got shit to do.

Ok, let's go.

Frozen. Elsa and Anna and their hangs-on that no one really cares about. Good music. Idina Menzel? Holy shit I got it right on the first try. Go me! Idina is a great singer, so that bumps Frozen up a notch. Great animation, except for that one bit during Let It Go where Elsa's ponytail phases through her arm, but I guess I'll...let it go. Eh? Eh? Come on admit it, that was funny. A dumb subversion of true love, but then an interesting subversion of the subversion so I'll give it a point. But then there's...everything else. Preventable conflict, forgettable everyone that isn't Elsa and Anna, stupid character decisions, a twist villain who has literally no reason to exist and who is not connected to the central conflict in any way whatsoever. It's the works. Also, I'm told there's some debate over whether the side character Oaken is married to a man or woman. The art style makes it hard to tell. Normally I'd give it a point but since this is Disney, I'm going to file that under "Gay reference so that Disney gets bonus points but it was super minor so that Disney can easily edit it out for international releases in countries that hate the LGBT community". Which loses it a point instead.

Final score: F. Oh yeah. Coming out of the gate swinging. I wonder how much hate I'll get for that.

Big Hero 6. Hiro Hamada and the rest. No musical numbers, but it does have Baymax and jokes about puberty, which are...funny I guess. I guess. It does have a twist villain, but that's a gimme. He's a supervillain. Would Norman Osbourn be half the villain without being the father of Peter Parker's best friend? It loses a point because Hiro's older brother was too good to deserve being Uncle Bened. I wish my brother was as cool as Tadashi was. And that he was also Uncle Bened. I'll trade my brother for superpowers. See if I won't.

Final score: B. SO close.

Zootopia. The furry movie. I saw it. It didn't turn me into a furry any more than 90 years of Mickey Mouse did. Maybe I oughta dock it a point for that. Good story, entertaining leads, entertaining side characters. Catchy music. But it had a twist villain. Get some new material, guys.

Final score: B. Almost got it.

Moana. Good movie. Good characters. Good music. Who knew Dwayne Johnson could sing? No twist villain. Actually, there's a twist hero. Double points for that.

Final score: A. Huzzah! We finally got an A!

Coco: Ah, Coco. Good movie. Good music. Good characters. I will dock a point for preventable conflict, but righting former wrongs makes up for it. Very heartwarming. Double points for heartwarming. Also, another M. Rivera journeys to the Land of the Dead in search of his ancestors. And Imelda is voiced by the same actress that did Manny Rivera. I wonder if that was intentional.

Final score: A.

Incredibles 2. The first Incredibles missed the cutoff. Oops. It's a sequel so...ehhhhh. Another twist villain, but it's a supervillain so normally it wouldn't count, but the villain has no personal connection to Helen and only second-hand connection to Bob, so fuck Screenslaver. Overall, doesn't really stand out.

Final score: D. Ehhhhhhhhhh...

Live Action Aladdin. An acquaintance of mine she got super thirsty over Mena Massoud, so I'll give him double points. Will Smith did...ok I guess. I guess. I liked Jasmine's new song tho.

Final score. Ehhhhhhh...I wanna give it a good score, but I really can't give it better than a C. I'm sorry Mena and Naomi! Forgive meeeeeeeeeeee!

Live Action The Lion King. Yeah...no...

Final score: F. Not even Beyonce could save it. I think I may have committed a crime against humanity by saying that...

Frozen II. A sequel...ehhhhh...good story I guess. I guess. Good music, I will concede. New characters are forgettable and Elsa didn't get a girlfriend. I don't think it had a real conflict? Question mark? Just righting past wrongs wasn't it? I forget. Assuming there were no villains, because otherwise I'd have to dock a point for forgettable villains.

Final score: C. +2 -1. Hey at least it's not an F. I wonder how much hate I'll get for rating the sequel higher.

Onward. Troll brothers, one's a nerd, the other's a slacker. It's actually quite good. Don't remember the music, so it doesn't get any points. It had a "token acknowledgement of a gay character that can be easily edited out for international" so that's a minus.

Final score:

Luca. Another good movie. Very heartwarming. There is some debate over whether this movie counts as "Young boys discovering their sexuality but only in the vaguest possible terms so that it can be easily rewritten for international" or just "Young friends that is only homoerotic if you squint and maybe audiences are reading a little too much into it". And I mean, I could see it. I'm not that good at squinting and I can see it. I'll give you that it's possible. I don't necessarily think it's probable, but I'll take the point anyway because Disney's not dumb, just evil. They knew.

Final score: B.

Ron's Gone Wrong. Being honest, I was totally unaware that this was Disney. I saw the dvd at Wal-Mart and thought it looked cute. Which it is. Very heartwarming friendship. And the kids that the kid wants to be friends with turn out to be good kids and not little shits at all.

Final score: B.

Encanto. Another good one. I have to dock it a point for more preventable conflict, but otherwise, great characters, great music, great story, great ending, great family. Great Scott, have we got another A?

Final score: Yep, it's an A.

Lightyear. Really? This is the movie that Andy saw? But this Buzz acts nothing like that Buzz! Twist villain, token acknowledgement of a gay character that can be easily edited out for international. I mean, I liked it. I like Buzz and I like Alisha and I like Izzy and I like Sox, but is that enough?

Final score: B. -3 +4. I preferred the animated series.

Strange World. Didn't finish it. Stopped halfway and got sidetracked by something else and never got around to picking it back up, but it does have a gay secondary character in the main character's son and I seem to recall he gets a recurring subplot about how fit the guy he likes is.

Final score: Ah heck, let's give it an A just because the gay character wasn't of the "easily edited out for international" variety.

Elemental. Loved this movie. Very heartwarming. I say that a lot. It's Disney. What do you expect? Technically it does have a preventable conflict, but the preventableness is central to the story, so that's a gimme.

Final score: A.

Wish: Bending the rules, because I haven't seen it but I hope to some time soon. I'll be optimistic and wish upon a star that this movie gets all the points.

Final final score: A. Huzzah!

In closing if you don't agree with my ratings, or with the reasons I have given for the ratings, you are, of course, entitled to your own opinions, but I don't want to hear it so find someone else to whinge at.

Please and thank you. :)

[xgoddessoffandomsx]

Started A Joke

Aesthetic by @ravenclaw-seeker

Summary: Psychologist Brian O'Connor falls in love and changes for supervillain Dominic Toretto also known as The Joker.

Tag squad: @atiny-angel @swifteforeverandalways @greek-freak101 @katries @axelwolf8109 @epickiya722 @the-iridescent-phoenix @ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness @lynsrosegarden @bamfbuddie

"Oh, I always look forward to these meetings of ours Bri" Dominic Toretto leered with lust at his therapist Brian O'Connor

The blond laughed nervously and brushed away a none existent strand of hair. "I don't think we're aloud to enjoy this"

Dom growled a bit. "I need a favor" "I can't do much" "Oh come on Brian, anything for me?" Brian was so infatuated with him, he bit his lip and nodded. "I can try"

"I need a machine gun" "A machine gun?" Brian deadpanned back in minor disbelief.

Dom cackled a bit. "I mean...I can try"

---------

"Let me go!" Brian cried as he was dropped onto a table. "What do we have here?" Dom leaned over him. "What are you doing? I helped you!" Brian whimpered.

"Helped me?! You got into my mind and pulled out every memory I had!" Dom shouted. "What're you gonna do?" Brian goaded him a bit. "Are you gonna kill me?"

"Oh I'm not going to kill you, I'm just gonna hurt you, really. Really. Bad"

Pain. That was all Brian felt, right on both sides of his temple.

------

"You're not leaving me again!" Brian didn't care he stole and crashed a motorcycle to get to Dom. "If you weren't crazy, I'd think you were insane!" The older man shouted.

"I gave up everything for you! I even forgave you for this!" Brian grabbed at his head. "I gave myself to you and you just threw me out"

"You were just a escape" Dom said coldly. Brian pulled out a gun. The Joker was unimpressed. "A gun doesn't scare you but my heart does" Brian said tearfully.

"I'm not telling you again Doc, go away" "Please, I'll do anything for you!"

Dom turned around. "Anything?"

----------

"This" Dom held out his arms and breathed in the chemicals. "Is where I was truly born"

Brian looked around, Dom grabbing his head and forcing the attention back to him. "Would you die for me?" "Yes" Brian said immediately.

"No, that's too easy. Would you live for me?" Brian hesitated for only a second. "Yes"

Dom guided him to a railing and gestured. Brian fell backwards into the vat of chemicals. Dom wanted to leave, Dom should have left. But instead he tore his coat off with a growl and dove after him.

The Joker swam with his Harlequin to the surface, Brian took a gasp of air. His Joker saved him. He did love him. The pair kissing passionately in the vat, Dom laughing manically.

------

"We're all happy to see you back Dom" Vince sat down, Leon in all his half burnt glory and Jesse nodded. Dom wasn't paying attention, watching Brian dance with a random guy, almost everyone staring at him.

"Who's the kid?" "Brian O'Connor, he got me out of Arkham, I want all of you to treat him as you would treat me" Dom growled before whistling. "Puddin" Brian purred before laughing manically

Dom rather roughly pulled him onto his lap. Vince made a look that did not go unnoticed by anyone in the room.

"Got a problem?" Dom raised a dyed green eyebrow. "He looks like a whore" Brian pouted before laughing again. "You're so fucked!" He rolled over and laughed more.

"I didn't mean it like that, he looks like Letty except with no plants" More laughter, Leon smirked a bit.

"Can I kill him Puddin? Can I?" Brian begged. Dom raised his hand and Brian quieted down. "He deserves it" He pouted again.

"Leon, heads I let Bri have at it, tails he gets one more chance" "Two Face is gonna get ya!"

A coin flew in the air. "Tails" Leon said, so uninterested. Brian stuck his tongue out and curled into Dom's side again.

"He's crazier than me" Dom gripped Brian's face to look at him.

Brian cackled. "So what now, your partner in crime is fucking fruit loop?"

"We rule over this fucking town"

[fight-the-corn]

tcfsv sbi x reader part 5

Techno. Phil's "third son". That is the Blade, right there. I'd know the man who saved my life anywhere.

I can't let him know I know. That could end very badly. So I smile, say "hello" and "nice to meet you". I introduced myself, let him think he tricked me. I sit with them quietly, listening to them talk, answering questions every now and then when it's required. And I process the new information.

After some time, the family dispersed. I went back to the room I was staying in. I knew I couldn't stay for much longer, that would be rude, but I would stay here for as long as I could. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted to be looked at the way this family looked at each other. Lovingly.

---

That night, Phil knocked on my door. He told me that they were going to have dinner before they had to go work. I was welcome to join.

I went down happily, hoping on basking in the family's positive energy for one last night before I left. Techno and I set the table while Wilbur and Tommy bickered. Then we all sat as Phil brought over the plates of lasagna he had made.

I mostly listened as the conversation flowed, laughing more than I ever remember laughing in my life. I loved Tommy's joyful young energy, Wilbur's sarcastic jokes and snarky comments, and Techno's dry but witty lines that weren't common, but were hilarious when he used them. Phil mediated but joked right along side everyone. God, I was going to miss this. The longer I stayed, the less I wanted to go back to the life I knew before.

Soon, dinner came to an end. They had to leave for work. I offered to clean up, but Phil denied, saying they'd take care of it when they got home. However, I think we both knew I'd do it as soon as they left. They were rushing out the door then, even Tommy. I was curious what work they had where they brought their child.

I cleaned the kitchen then opened my phone to scroll. On the news, I saw a villain fight was live. I clicked the link to watch the live. Hang on. That was Blade. No, that was Techno. Suddenly, it clicked. Work. They were supervillains. That was their job. That meant...

The healer, Apollo's, bright blond hair was recognizable to the point where I wonder why I hadn't made the connection earlier. Tommy? And the smile on Siren was so clearly the one I had just sat across from as I ate, that was Wilbur, so that left the Angel of Death as Phil. God, I would never have thought. They were so kind, so gentle, nothing that I would have expected of a supervillain family.

Then, I realized. They are a supervillain family. They were repaying a favor they owed me. This wasn't a thing they would just do. This was only repaying one kindness with another. And I had been there for for days. I needed to leave. I resolved to head out the next morning, to not overstay my welcome any longer.

---

I went to bed before they got home. When I got up in the morning, I found I was the third awake. Techno and Phil were speaking in low voices in the kitchen when I went down. They stopped when I entered. I greeted them and was greeted in return, and passed a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast. I thanked them. It was quiet for a moment. Then, I broke the silence.

"I was going to go home today, if that's okay?"

Phil looked suprised. "You sure mate? You're welcome to stay here for as long as you want, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking my parents are probably worried."

Techno huffs. I hold myself back from wincing. I forgot he knew what my family was like, and could definitely see through the lie. Oh well. He won't call me on it.

We clearly aren't on the same wavelength. "You sure? You turned up with a lot of weird bruises. You can stay if you want. At least until you're fully healed."

I shake my head. "It's fine. I'll be fine. I can handle it myself, but thank you so much for your guys' kindness."

Phil smiles. "Of course, little one."

Normally, I'd complain about the nickname. But the way he says it, there's no malice or underlying jab. It's just...nice. My heart hurts. I'm going to miss them so much.

Techno speaks a moment later. "At least wait until Wil and Tommy are up. They'll want to say goodbye. We can all drop you off."

"Oh, no, it's okay, I can get home myself -"

Phil cuts me off. "It's fine mate, I want to meet your parents anyways. They must be wonderful people to have raised such a lovely kid."

He knows too. I could just tell, with the tone of his voice. But I can't say no. So I nod, and pray to whoever may be out there that my parents will at least act like they're fit to raise a child for the next day or so.

But deep down, a part of me hopes they dont, because this family doesn't seem like the type to abandon someone in a place like that.

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe: Superman (Part VIII)

Chapter Eight: Defining Opposition

I don't know about you, reader, but when I go to watch a superhero movie, the thing that gets me most excited for it are the villains. I know villains are sort of a popular thing with the millennial generation, but hey, villains are fun, what can I say? But in terms of superheroes, I think that comes down to an old expression: heroes are defined by their villains. After all, a hero is only defined by how they approach the kinds of adversity they are forced to confront. And if there's any confrontational adversity in comic books, it's supervillains.

But that said, what makes a good villain, or group of villains, for a given hero? I think we can all agree that Batman has one of the strongest rogues' galleries in DC Comics, on page and on screen. And in Batman's case, I'd say that's because his villains are dark reflections of himself. Bruce stares into the metaphorical and moral abyss on a regular basis, and just barely stops himself from diving into it. But his villains? Oh, they live there. It's like the Joker said: one bad day, and all that.

Don't believe me? Here are some examples of what I'm talking about.

Joker is madness personified, obviously. If Batman is regimented order, Joker is unleashed chaos.

Catwoman has the skill to match and outrun Batman, but uses her talents for selfish or criminal means (mostly).

Riddler is Batman's intellectual match, but used for personal pleasure rather for forensics and justice.

Penguin has the money to match Bruce Wayne, but is tainted by corruption and crime, rather than a philanthropic drive.

Two-Face is the ultimate example of corrupted justice, acting on the same side and in the same world as Batman, but then succumbing to a purely black-and-white moral mindset.

Scarecrow represents the same fear that Batman willingly produces, but unleashes it on everyone, regardless of innocence.

Poison Ivy is...well, right, most of the time, to be honest. She seeks environmental justice, but does so through morally bankrupt means.

Mad Hatter seeks to control the insane world around him, but has succumbed to the madness himself as a result.

And I could keep going...but that's for another essay series, I think. Still each of these villains serves as a reflection of Batman, and so they serve as interesting foils that allows Batman to reflect on himself and his own methods and goals as a result. But reflections aren't the only thing that make a villain interesting.

Here's another classic rogues' gallery that's criminally underused in media, the Rogues of Central City. Flash's villains, individually, aren't too difficult to defeat. Therefore, pinning them up against the Scarlet Speedster stops being interesting, when you know that the far more power Flash could just stop them immediately. So, they basically got together and formed a union, no joke! The Rogues have their own internal rules and codes, and come together to take what they want and bamboozle the Flash simultaneously. These guys are interesting not because they're reflections of Barry Allen or Wally West...they're interesting because they pose a challenge to the hero they fight.

One villain is one thing, but five? Not only can they team up, but they can split up. And fast as he may be, Barry can't be everywhere at once, especially when he doesn't know WHERE he needs to be! The Rogues are a great challenge for the Flash, and they know it. That's why they keep recruiting new members and changing their roster, which in turn changes the challenge that the Flash needs to overcome. But that's not the only thing that makes them interesting. These guys are good villains because...honestly, you kind of end up rooting for them.

You've got Captain Cold, the serious and determined leader; Heat Wave, the unstable second-in-command with a chip on his shoulder; Weather Wizard, the dangerous powerhouse with a dark past; Trickster, chaos in human form and loving it; and Mirror Master, the rule-breaker and constant trouble who's too powerful to let go, even if they should. And that's just five of ten-to-twenty people who've been a member of the Rogues. I mean, come on! They're super cool, and a good writer can make them interesting in their own right. Real talk, I would watch a movie focused upon the Rogues...and I seriously think it could work. Like a super-powered Ocean's Eleven? HELL yes, let's GO! Plus, we're really lacking a team of villains in the movies. Sinister Six in No Way Home doesn't count, because that wasn't really the Sinister Six. We need a REAL team of villains, like the Injustice League, or the Masters of Evil, or...well, I'll get to it.

So, OK, the best villains pose a challenge to the hero, are interesting in their own right as characters, and/or are a dark reflection of the hero they go up against. While these aren't hard and fast rules, I think they do work for the best villains. And, it would also explain why Superman movies can't seem to get past two villains for some goddamn reason.

Look, I like these guys, I've already talked about them both a bit, but I'm TIRED of seeing them in movies over other members of Superman's rogues' gallery. So why these two? Well, I've talked about Lex Luthor already, but he's essentially a dark reflection of Superman. While Superman is an outsider who thinks of himself as a part of humanity, Lex is a human who places himself above humanity. Superman is humble, Lex is arrogant; Superman is stronger than everybody, Lex is smarter than everybody; Superman gives, Lex takes, yadda yadda yadda.

General Zod, on the other hand, is a bit more straightforward in his relationship to Superman, as a dark reflection, and somebody who can pose a challenge to the Last Son of Krypton. Again, I have talked a little bit about Zod, but as a Kryptonian, he's automatically a threat to Superman no matter where they are. Because of that, Zod's the other common cinematic adversary for Superman. And again...it's boring. I want other villains, and there are SO many other villains. But hold on a tick...didn't I already write this essay?

In my first movie, which I'll be giving a name in the next essay, the primary antagonists are Metallo and Intergang, with both acting as challenges to the hero, to use the established categories. Metallo maybe could be considered a dark reflection of Superman, being a super-strong and invulnerable character with a chunk of Kryptonite in his body, but I wouldn't say that's the primary category for him. But that said, he should also be an interesting character. Somebody you enjoy watching, but are also intimidated by. I leave that characterization to more talented writers than I, but that should be the goal.

Intergang, meanwhile, are meant to be more of a means-to-an-end. While they are certainly a threat on their own, and while their leader should definitely be a character you enjoy watching, they definitely fall within the challenge category, while also acting as a link to future villains for both Superman, and this cinematic universe as a whole. I suppose you could also say that, like Superman, they're an Earth-bound link to the cosmos beyond, via their connection to G. Gordon Godfrey, AKA "Gordon Crown".

So, again, why am I bringing this villain stuff up if I have my villains for the first movie already? Well, for one, I like talking about villains, especially the underappreciate and underutilized Superman villains. And two, the first movie lays the seeds for future installments. And while I won't get into all of my ideas for a fully-fledged franchise here...I do have some ideas for the sequel. And that theoretical sequel revolves around some major Superman villains. And I wanna talk about it. But before I do, I have to go back to Luthor's plans with the Kryptonite.

See, when the first movie ends, Godfrey will have delivered to Luthor a hunk of Kryptonite, collected from the sites of Krypton's remains by his benefactors. Luthor will use that Kryptonite in experiments with his lab, Infinity Labs, to determine its capabilities and usefulness, as well as potentially weaponizing it for use against Superman. Between this film and the last, two things will be discovered about Kryptonite. Firstly, it works as a power source for certain electrical circuits and devices, especially something like an armor or automaton. That was proven with Metallo, although that process can't really be replicated easily. A human mind still needs to guide the automaton.

The second thing that Luthor will discover about Kryptonite is its effects on human biology, if harnessed correctly. See, Kryptonite is harmful to Kryptonians immediately, and to humans over a very long period of exposure, thanks to the radiation. But, if combined with certain mutagenic compounds, it could theoretically be used to create superpowers in every one. So, when Luthor realizes this, he develops Project: Everyman.

At this point, the Young Justice fans reading may be having a seizure, so lemme address this really quick. In Young Justice, Geo-Force decides to enforce his country of Markovia by establishing a group of experimentally-induced metahumans known as Infinity, Inc., which includes a character named Everyman. In the comics, there are a couple of Infinity, Inc. teams, with the second being made by Lex Luthor in an attempt to replace the at-the-time missing Superman as heroes of Metropolis. He had an ulterior motive here, of course, but that's a story for another day.

The point is this: in the second film of my Superman franchise, Luthor is going to make a team of superhumans that he can control, and that can come together to take out Superman at his beck-and-call. And why? Because a TEAM of supervillains poses more of a threat to Superman than just one alone. And who is in our Infinity, Inc? Well...

Toyman: Childish Chaos

I love Toyman, AKA Winslow Schott. He's on the sillier side of Superman's villains, using toys and gadgets to commit crimes and take on Superman, but I've always been charmed by this weirdo. But Toyman, by himself, is ABSOLUTELY not a villain who can challenge Superman and be threatening. In the comics, he started as a bank robber with neat toys, until being changed into a much creepier character and a...child murderer? Goddamn it, DC, really? Just let Winslow be the creepy obsessive guy who commits crimes with toys! Ugh. Annoying.

Schott's been adapted into various forms of media, but is usually a vengeful and obsessive inventor who commits deeds of crime and revenge using toys and games. And yeah, that's pretty accurate. My favorite incarnation, and maybe the most famous, is obviously the Superman: The Animated Series version pictured here. But, Toyman's made it into Smallville, Supergirl, Superman: Doomsday, the unmade Kevin Smith Superman film, and Justice League Action, so he isn't an unpopular character by any means. That said...I get why he hasn't been adapted into film. 'Cause, y'know...I like him, but...

He's a dude playing with toys going up against Superman. He is absolutely no threat to Superman whatsoever. So, how do you fix that? Well, I've been tossing around a few ideas...

Toyman is pretty clearly an opening scene villain. He's the character that opens up the movie with a crime that Superman is supposed to stop. In the time between this film and the last, Intergang's weaponry has managed to leak into the hands of people outside of the organization, and that can be very dangerous. One of those hands is Winslow Schott's, who'll be starting this movie with a good old-fashioned bank robbery. Using Intergang-powered weapons and automata (because that's what Toyman does), he'll rob the bank and face off against the Metropolis PD outside. That said, though, Schott isn't actually there. Acting through the automata from a hidden facility (an abandoned toy shop destroyed by the fight in the last film), this is the latest in a string of toy-related robberies he's committed. However, once Superman shows up, it's game over, and the robots are defeated by him after a brief, neat fight.

In the aftermath of the fight, Schott is eventually found and consulted by Lex Luthor, who's got a proposition of work for him. Schott, in this universe, was a pre-eminent engineer who had worked for a competitor of Luthor's. When Schott was fired years prior for mental instability, he retreated into a new profession: toy-making. However, Superman's battle with Metallo not only destroyed the shop, but provided the catalyst for Schott's psychotic break. Using a weapon left behind during the fight, Schott reverse-engineered it to make his signature automata, but can't find the power source for his masterpiece. Luthor wants his talent, and hatred for Superman, to help develop some of his own devices, and offers to hire Schott in exchange for some of the power source he needs. Schott agrees to these terms, and Toyman's on the team. Who's next?

Livewire: The Ultimate Shock Jock

Harley Quinn is pretty famous for making it from being a side-character on Batman: The Animated Series, to being one of the most popular characters in the DC Universe today. But she's not the only character to break free of the confines of the DCAU into bigger stardom. Enter Leslie Willis, AKA Livewire from Superman: The Animated Series. Liverwire is a fun, spunky, and electric character (PUN INTENDED NO REGERTS), and that carried her into the comics, as well as Smallville, Supergirl, DC Super Hero Girls, and Young Justice. Honestly, she's a personal favorite of mine as well.

Livewire is a character whose origin has changed only in small details. Broadly, she's a media maven who hates the Superfamily, and often blames them for her transformation into Livewire. In the comics, however, Leslie was a metahuman from the jump, and was willingly struck by lightning to enhance her own powers. But my version of Leslie is going to choose to take that power, because of a hatred of Superman. And in this case, it's because she's a glory hog.

You may have caught me name-dropping Leslie in the Metropolis essay a few days back. Well, in this universe, Leslie is a podcaster and social media maven, as well as a controversial figure in her own right. Think Joe Rogan, but focusing on hating superheroes. Wasn't always that way, but ever since Superman arrived and stole the spotlight, and since the events of the first movie, Leslie's been a little bitter towards the Man of Steel. And the more bitter she's become, the less people have been listening to her. However, she has two major fans: Lex Luthor and Gordon Crown.

So, when Lex is looking for volunteers for the Everyman project, Crown points him towards Leslie, who gladly accepts the chance to regain the spotlight, and show Superman for the fake hypocrite she thinks he is. She's given the experimental Everyman treatment, which unlocks electrical powers within her. As Livewire, Leslie is the face of Infinity, Inc., and leads the small team of three. Alongside her is Captain Incredible (actually a robot controlled by Toyman), as well as Everyman...but not Hannibal Bates from the comics. No, no, no. Livewire may be a powerhouse, as well as a major second-arc antagonist when Infinity, Inc. finally breaks bad...but she's not the biggest threat on the team.

Parasite: Power-Hungry

Rudy Jones, AKA Parasite, is possibly one of the most dangerous Superman villains, as well as the best candidate for a cinematic appearance at some point soon. A former janitor that stumbled into some radioactive chemicals, Parasite has the ability to absorb the memories, skills, and powers of anyone he comes into contact with and drains. From a purple-people eater to an eldritch abomination, Parasite's hunger has given him a lot of different forms over the years, but he's always a massive threat to the Man of Tomorrow.

People adapting him into media do seem to understand this, as he's made it into Superman: The Animated Series and the DCAU, Smallville, Superman: Man of Tomorrow, All-Star Superman, Supergirl, Justice League Action, and even DC Super Hero Girls, weirdly enough. He's a pretty popular character, but also a character that should be used cinematically. Obviously, that's because he fits within that Dark Reflection category in terms of raw power, but he's also an interesting character in his own rights. But my version of Parasite is...unlucky, to say the least.

See, Rudy Jones is a janitor for Infinity Labs, but accidentally stumbles upon Gordon Crown, secretly touring the labs and reporting to his masters on Apokolips. Gordon notices this and manipulates Jones to not only forget about what he's seen, but also convinces him that something interesting is within the barrels in the facility. Unfortunately for Rudy, the material within ends up spilling on him, and he's exposed to a reagent of the Everyman process, altering his DNA. He loses his hair, and his memory of what he'd seen about Gordon.

The next day, he's found with the reagent all over him, and in shock. Realizing the opportunity here, Luthor isolates him and tests him, eventually realizing that Rudy has the ability to absorb the life-force and memories from someone, gaining their skills and abilities. Ready to test a theory, Luthor brings him onto the Infinity, Inc. team, naming him Everyman after the reagent he had absorbed. Now, this is a reference to Hannibal Bates, as well as acting as a red herring. This backstory about Rudy won't come out until much later in the film, so we'll start out by seeing this bald dude named Everyman, tricking some ardent comic book fans into thinking that he is a villain of this film. Because, hey, who doesn't like a pleasant surprise, right? Anyway, Luthor wants him on the team so that he can absorb Superman's powers and gain information about him, but also for an ulterior motive. More on that later.

Rudy will turn purple for the first time after touching Superman, as the alien DNA doesn't mesh properly with the Everyman serum, changing Rudy's biology and making him desperate for power like Superman's, as well as preventing him from retaining Superman's memories. And by the time we reach the end of the film, one thing is apparent: Parasite is the major threat of the second movie. But he's not actually the primary villain. No, no, the primary villain of the film is, of course, Lex Luthor. And that's especially prominent given the members of Infinity, Inc.

Remember how I said a great comic book villain should be a dark reflection, a challenge, so on and so forth? Well, the three villains I chose all reflect aspects of Lex. Hear me out.

Toyman represents Lex's intellect and scientific acumen. Not only does he share this with Lex, but his devices (including the Kryptonite-powered Captain Incredible robot) will be used by Lex to form some of his armor in the last film.

Livewire represents Lex's jealousy and desire for the spotlight. Leslie and Lex both want Superman's attention, and Leslie possesses the power that Lex desires. After this film, she'll still be around to cause havoc, and get the spotlight away from Lex's attention. She should stela the screen when she's on it, and also represents some of Lex's secret bombast.

Parasite represents Lex's greed and lust for power. In the comics, Lex once was given the Orange Lantern ring, which is powered by greed. His hunger for power rivals Parasite's, even if it's more metaphorical than literal. But that said, Parasite is actually Lex's way to gather two things from Superman: readings of his powers, and some of his DNA. Both of these things will be used in the third movie, where Lex will finally fully break bad as a major villain of the film.

And there you have it; four major villains in the second film, and a solid representation of Superman's rogues' gallery. Now, with that, you may be thinking, "ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE? FOUR VILLAINS, AND ONE OF THEM IS FUCKING PARASITE? That's way too much for one film!" Well...maybe. But I'm not a screenwriter, am I? I think it's possible to throw this much in a movie and make it an exciting, credible, fun watch, and hopefully an actual good movie. Plus, these events open the door for the next movie...where even more characters could be introduced.

After all, I didn't even mention Bizarro, Brainiac, Mongul, Silver Banshee, Manchester Black, Mr. Mxyzptlk, and a bunch of other interesting characters you could bring up. And I didn't even go through my ideas for the plot of the second film. But at this point, I'm very much getting ahead of myself. Let's finally talk about the proposed first movie in this franchise. I'll be summarizing elements of the plot I've already mentioned, and bringing them together into one cohesive story, hopefully. Again, I'm no screenwriter; I'm just a nerd with too many ideas on his hands. So next time, I'll be presenting the story of the first film in my DC Cinematic Universe...

Superman

Yeah, by the way, there has never been a film called just Superman. The 1978 film is called Superman: The Movie. WHY HAVE WE NOT NAMED A SUPERMAN MOVIE SUPERMAN YET? Come ON, WB!

Index: Superman

Part I: Why I Love Superman

Part II: On Lois Lane

Part III: The Kents

Part IV: The 'Rents

Part V: The...Frendts?

Part VI: Lex Luthor

Part VII: The Real Villains

Part VIII: Superman's Rogues Gallery

Part IX: The Story - Act One

Part X: The Story (Acts Two and Three)

Part XI: The Story - Climax

Part XII: Epilogue (Part One)

Part XIII: Epilogue (Part Two)

[wrongydkjquotes]

Wrote another thing

The sequel to BinjPowered is here!

Fic text under the cut

"So, by green lantern shit, you mean, like, summoning holographic constructs?" Buzz asked Cookie as the five fucks sat in the office together, eating some leftover Chinese food that had frankly seen better days. "Gee, between that and the whole mindfuck psychonaut power set, I'm surprised the federal government isn't trying to experiment on your ass right now."

"Well, they aren't. Because this is not a fucking comic book."

Buzz's tone quickly did a 180 in response. "Uh...heard you and Nate are teaming up to do April fools stuff. How's that coming along?"

"Oh, it's going amazing." Nate smirked. "We've got a whole 5 step plan and everything! It's gonna be fucking awesome!!!!"

"Easy, tiger." Cookie rolled his eyes. "If you spoil too much, they're going to blab about it."

"Not true," Schmitty retorted.

"Easy for you to say, pants boy." Guy laughed.

"Shut up." He turned to Cookie. "I told you not to fucking post that-"

"I mean, come on, you gotta admit that shit was hilarious. Surprised you didn't say 'Here, take my pants with you for luck!'"

"How about I take your eye out for luck? Huh?" Schmitty raised a fist.

"Sheesh, ok." Guy raised his hands as he got up from his chair. "Can't a Guy make a tease in peace?"

"Nobody found that joke funny!" An intern chimed in from the other room, to which Guy awkwardly rubbed his shoulder while grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"That's because they aren't receptive to good fucking comedy!" Guy yelled back as he opened the can and guzzled it down.

Nate dusted his hands. "Welp. Love to chat more, really, but its time to do our thing." He smirked as Cookie used his newfound telekinesis to grab another beer can from the fridge. "You've got my flash drive?"

"Locked and loaded." Cookie pulled the flash drive out of his pocket, taking a quick sip of his beer while doing so, before dramatically slamming the beer on the table. "Let's do this."

"Locked and loaded, huh. Just what he likes a man." Schmitty snorted. Nate could only glare back at the Hawaiian shirt-wearing guy as the two left the break room.

***

"Ok..." Cookie sighed as they walked down the hall. "So...let me get the straight. The plan is to hack into the meeting Zoom feed and mindfuck a bunch of interns to do shit, then put it on camera for your stupid Youtube channel."

"Not how I'd put it, but yeah, that's basically it." Nate sighed. "If you don't like it-"

"No, no, I do." Cookie reassured. "But if Helen finds out-"

"You can reset people, dude. It'll be like it never happened."

"But if Helen found out I reset her...she's gonna be even more pissed." Cookie awkwardly looked away. "Quite honestly, Helen's had it rough. She's the only thing stopping me from going full-on anime revenge-seeking supervillain right now."

"That and therapy!"

Silence.

"....You haven't been going to those appointments."

"..."

"The therapy sessions I scheduled for you."

"...I got busy?"

"Oh my god, you're such an idiot." Nate facepalmed. "Whatever. We'll talk later." He motioned over to an unmarked locked door. "Here's the spot."

"Right." Cookie's eyes glowed a brilliant bright pink as a small house key formed in his hand. Despite its more fitting shape for a home rather than an office, it fit into the door perfectly, and soon, they found themselves inside walls and walls of computers and server-machines.

"What now?"

"Hand me the flash drive, and I'll get you access to the smartboard feeds in every meeting room in this place. Then...." His voice turned sly. "...we'll do what we rehearsed."

"Hell yeah, man." Cookie couldn't help but snicker as he handed Nate the flash drive, and he began to turn on the computers. "Thanks for setting this up."

"Hey, you owed me one."

"True..." Cookie couldn't help but squee. "Either way, this shits gonna be good!"

***

"And next up in our agenda, any thoughts about the big Pack 10 sequel? We were thinking a You Don't Know Jack sequel, but quite honestly, the fans have been demanding Trivia Murder Party 3 for awhile now, and we already have Fibbage 4 to tie them-" Mavis spoke to an audience of Kim, Donny, and a couple of interns, only to be interrupt with the slides abruptly changing to a Zoom camera feed of Cookie. His smile was clearly smug as he rested his chin on the backs of his hands.

"Hello, staff members of the YDKJ community. If you're watching this, I have a mandatory message for you all. So, uh, if you could all listen to me real quick? That's an order by the way."

In the various zoom windows, a sudden flash of pink across the eyes of every staff member in the room confirmed that they were.

"Good. Now, uh, you've all got embarrassing moments in your lives, I'm sure. Ones that might have happened in this very office, perhaps?" The crowd nodded, their gazes distant. "Good. You're probably picturing them right now if that 'pink elephant paradox' Nate told me was correct or whatever. Anyway, good news! You're all in those very moments you're thinking about, right now! And you're trapped in them until I say you're free. Why? Because I'm the motherfucking boss! Cookie out!" He logged off the zoom meeting.

And everyone immediately began to panic. Mavis rambled on about forgetting to wear a bra this morning, covering her chest instinctively. Kim began flopping around the floor like a fish, panicking that someone discovered her secret mermaid form. Donny grabbed a random book in a vain effort to remember a more fancy word for cucumber.

And Cookie couldn't help but burst into laughter upon seeing that chaos.

***

"Now what?" Cookie shrugged as he glanced at the chaos on the security feeds.

"We just sit back and watch the chaos, then tell them to stop once things get too out of hand." Nate smirked back, only to notice Cookie's concern. "Don't worry, I'll take the blame if Helen somehow wasn't affected by this. What could go wrong?!?"

***

"Buzz, my dear, sweet, cousin, why didn't you fucking tell me Redacted's most embarrassing moment was setting the entire fucking break room on fire?" A few minutes later, the entire office found themselves outside, the fire truck sirens blaring so loud that they almost made Buzz's call inaudible.

Almost.

"You didn't fucking ask!!!!"

"Well, I figured when I said to check on every staff member doing meetings, you would've checked every staff-"

"He peaked in, Nate. I have no fucking control of when people peak in."

"Oh." Nate's forced smile turned into more of a grimace. "Well...shit."

"Yeah. Helen wants to talk to y'all, by the way. Have fun." Buzz snarked.

"We will." Was Nate's reply as he ended call, before turning to Cookie. "Fuck...we're going to be in trouble for this, aren't we."

"Yeah...." Cookie trailed off. "...I'm not going to do the mindfuck on her, before you-"

"I get that." Nate quickly replied.

"Glad you do." Cookie awkwardly looked away. "...I should really go to therapy, huh."

"Yeah, probably!" Schmitty yelled in the background, his snark cutting through Cookie like a knife.

"SHUT UP!"

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

Hello Ceph! This ask is for the ask event I've been running all day that you reblogged. :) thank you for reblogging and participating - have a lovely weekend!

Kinslayer, how did you get your name? I assume it's a pseudonym and not your birth name? Who gave it to you? Do you like being called it?

What is your greatest regret in life?

What would be your 3 wishes if you found a genie's lamp?

If you had a child, what would you name them (or if you have any, what did you name them)?

CW: Swearing

[Kinslayer sighs heavily and scrubs a hand over their face]

This whole "Kinslayer" mess started in...ehhh...London, I think. Industrial Revolution, or thereabouts. It would be an armpit like that where I first heard it. I've got a hunch Mergus came up with it, given he's the pettiest little shit I know. And, like any garbage nickname, it stuck, of course.

Meaning behind it's pretty straightforward, though: I've killed a lot of other psychic vamps. You'd think between that and the name everyone would leave me be. But no, more of the bottom feeders pick fights nowadays. They think taking me on will fill the emptiness and futility of their existence. All it does is get them killed and annoy the hell out of me.

I do have a True Name. Not that I'm going to tell you what it is. But since you had the guts to bring the subject of names up in the first place, I'll share this: it's a nod to who I was when I was still human. When I was whole. A little inside joke between me and the few people who can call themselves my friends.

Regrets? That's for folks who believe they have more control over life than they do. It's also for those who didn't have a significant chunk of their soul torn out. Pretty sure you need a full range of emotion to regret anything.

As for wishes... don't know that I'd mess with the djinn in real life. But since I take it we're dealing in hypotheticals here, I'd wish 1) that people couldn't lie to themselves anymore. Watching that level of chaos unfold would keep me entertained for a while. 2) For a guarantee that not all life on Earth will disappear due to human stupidity. Not the plants and animals' faults they're stuck in the same boat as a bunch of primates who got too big for their brain pans. And 3) an everlasting pair of good shoes. You can accomplish damn near anything with the right kicks on your feet.

I've had several children throughout the lulls in my lifetimes, which seems to surprise most people. All of them turned out human, and I did my best to raise them to be decent. No chosen ones or supervillains or any of that nonsense. Their names were...uh...

Well, shit. Maybe I wasn't half the parent I thought I was.

No, no--I got it. Let's see...there was Atilius and Felix (don't ask me about cognomens and praenomens and all that bs. I've already forgotten it along with Latin)? Oh, then Eziamaka, Oluchi, and Ugonma. Asahi was the son my friend Haru and I had together. And finally, Nicholas, Ruth, and...Elias, ha! That was the latest batch, back from the 1800s.

I still check in on my descendants from time to time, when I can. Make sure they're staying out of trouble.

And there you have it, @queerlilchinchin. Being an eternal, soul-sucking creature of darkness ain't as exciting as most people tend to think, as you can see.

[kqltlc]

kinda want to get back into writing and I thought of this earlier so ayo, scuffed piece go brrr.

tl;dr: short scene where villain frees hero from supervillain's imprisonment. villain swears a bit. heh.

'This... is troubling.' Hero thought with a resigned sigh, slumping into the shackles that bound them so relentlessly.

Supervillain had done it. Not only did he manage to capture and restrain Hero, but he had gone the extra mile with making absolutely sure Hero wouldn't be able to weasel out of this one. Anything Hero tried, any step Hero took, it felt like Supervillain was ten steps ahead of them.

To say Hero was stumped was an understatement.

A sudden laugh from outside the cell made Hero jump, their eyes darting over to the owner. Standing there, laughing like she was told the best joke ever, was Villain.

"God you look so pathetic, mind if I take a picture? Of course you don't, thank you!" She pulled out her phone and took one anyway, her laugh turning into a chuckle as she began typing away at the screen seconds after, "Content creators are going to love this when it shows up on their trending pages later."

Hero's voice was flat as they glared at her, "What are you doing here."

Villain slipped her phone back into her pocket before looking to her right and pressing a button, "Helping the local dumbass out, duh."

All at once every measure Supervillain took to keep Hero contained - every shackle, every bar, every obstacle - just fell away, freeing Hero of its hold.

Hero was struck with disbelief as they got to their feet, "Why?? Aren't you on his side??"

Villain's grin instantly faded, replaced with the most disgusted look Hero had ever seen and the most venom in her voice Hero had ever heard, "I hate that fucker so much. I disliked him before but now he's fucking intolerable."

She eyed Hero, her voice swapping back to her usual tone as her grin returned, "I knew you wouldn't run from a fight with him, your dumbass probably got captured or something so I tracked you down. Thank fuck Supervillain is as stupid as he is smart, bitch didn't consider someone like me waltzing in and pressing all those little buttons his lazy ass installed everywhere for convenience."

Hero blinked as they stood beside Villain, more surprised at Supervillain's lack of forethought than Villain's excessive use of swearing. Did... did Supervillain really make it that easy from the outside?

A click of a security camera sounded before alarms started blaring, "E-PE21, Prisoner has escaped south-east ward. Starting Protocall C-EP45, all units mobilize," the automated message announced, followed by the echoes of urgent voices in the halls.

Villain scowled, annoyance flickering in her eyes as she turned to start walking down a hallway, "You owe me a free robbery later."

Hero followed after, "How about a chance to take down Supervillain?"

"... You know, I'd love to kick in that fuck-ugly face of his. Sure."

[coonhoundcat]

ISO: Partner in Crime | Villain x Hero Snippet

Part 2 Part 3

Villain nearly laughed out loud when the photo popped into their feed.

They really did in fact snort when they noticed the thick-framed eyewear. “ Oh my god— glasses? They really think glasses are going to fool anyone? That’s HERO-“ they grabbed their henchman by the sleeve, yanking them over. “LOOK AT IT- isn’t it Hero?!”

They squinted- “It does look remarkably like-“

“I’d know their face anywhere, but on a fucking dating app?!”

Villain grinned, only skimming briefly through the bio before double tapping.

“I'm going to mock them for being so desperate-"

"But, you're also on-"

"Oooooh! No, I should do it in person! Much more impactful, that way."

Henchman raised a cautious hand, “I don't think-" Villain kicked away from their desk, letting their chair spin them into the middle of the room.

There was a soft chime.

"Oh, GOD-" Villain groaned, sinking down without taking their eyes off the screen. "Them and their puns. Ridiculous. Let me just.... I.... think. you. are...... c....ute. There. Send."

The PA sighed heavily as Villain bounced a leg on their other knee, fully entranced. Villain hummed a little, waiting on the tell-tale ding. “Buh-buh-buuuuhhhh...... Oh!”

They leaned in hungrily, teeth grinding into their lower lip. “Hot damn. They really don't recognize me. This is perfect."

"Sir...?"

"I'm asking them on a date."

"This is an exceptionally bad idea."

“I’m going to humiliate them. It’s going to be glorious!”

It probably would have been fine, if the date hadn't been set three days out. If Villain hadn't taken to looking up lists of the world's worst jokes, trying them out to spectacularly awful results on their henchman. If they weren't so obviously glued to their device, responding almost immediately to every message for the sake of 'keeping up the ruse'.

If they hadn't started ignoring actually important things.

And if Supervillain hadn't called two days in, interrupting a particularly abysmal knock-knock joke about a cow.

"-tomorrow. It's going to be an all-out raid on Headquarters-- The whole syndicate has to be involved."

"Ah. Yes. I'd love to, really-- it's just, I just-" Villain met the henchman's eyes. They shook their head slightly. Villain turned sharply away.

"I need you to be there. The Blast Engineer already backed out-"

"Look, I've got something else going on-"

"This is important-"

"Well THIS is important to ME."

Villain could practically feel the displeasure leeching through the line.

"..... You're really not coming."

"Look....... I promise that this is going to help you too, just... it's a little different. I'm getting one of the heroes out of your way, and I.... I'm not going to be in the main fray, okay? But I promise I'm helping."

The speakers buzzed faintly, barely picking up a handful of slow, deep breaths. Villain fidgeted, pointedly ignoring the disapproving glare boring into the back of their head. It was a relief when Supervillain spoke again, reluctant as they sounded.

"..... Okay. Whatever the hell you're up to, okay. But I'm going to hold you to that."

"I wouldn't expect any less of you."

The call cut out. Villain slipped the phone back into their pocket as they turned to face their PA. And their PA's frown.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm distracting Hero so that Supervillain has one less obstacle during the siege. Do keep up." Villain marched past them, to the wardrobe along the far wall. "And the punchline was 'Moo'."

Henchman slapped a hand to their long-suffering face, allowing it to drag down to their chin. They were getting too old for this.

"Now, help me pick a suitable outfit..."

------

"It's hardly appropriate."

Villain threw a worried glance over their shoulder, mid-way through rolling a cuff. "What do you mean? I thought we agreed on this shirt yesterday-"

"No, not that- I mean, have you even considered why you're so enthusiastic about all this?"

"Of course. I'm getting back at-"

"No, you're not. Villain, please. The real reason."

Villain stilled, failing to face them fully.

"..... What are you insinuating."

Henchman lifted their palms appeasingly, but did not drop their gaze.

"It's okay to be lonely-"

Villain barked out a laugh. "Lonely? ME? I'm not lonely-- you're lonely. I have an assistant- I have employees, industry peers, an arch-nemesis-- not to mention, NINE new matches in my area-- I'm NOT lonely, thank you."

"Villain-"

"STOP." Villain broke even the partial eye-contact. They reached for the dresser. "That's enough." They snatched a pair of cufflinks, aggressively stabbing one through a sleeve. "I am going to scare the living hell out of Hero this evening, and that is all." The second set snapped into place. "I appreciate my nemesis. In that I want to terrorize them in every way possible." Villain took a deep breath in, repeating firmly, "That is all."

"..... okay."

They spun around, arms spread and mouth twisted in something resembling a grin. "How do I look?"

".... Like you're on a date."

The 'smile' faded. "Good."

They turned to the dresser one last time, stashing a large serrated knife under their waistband. "I'm heading out. This probably won't take long."

[volperion-moved]

see i actually do like the idea of lila & chloe swapping roles like lila starts off threatening while chloe is more of a joke, but later chloe gets more vicious and uses the resources she has available as the mayor's daughter and hawkmoth's 'favourite' to her advantage and suddenly lila's lies are just pathetic in comparison. chloe could v much be like syndrome from incredibles where her being ladybug's fan holds her back until she feels betrayed by her and becomes a real supervillain.

& like lila has always been a troll when she was first teased the fandom thought she'd be a superhero but she just turned out to be an akuma villain, it makes sense for her to be teased as a villain and just turn out to be an ordinary bully too. her pranking chloe in miraculer was funny to me and I'd like to see more stuff like that where her way of bullying is sneaky. she could cause school drama and ppl to get akumatised without actually being caught as the one doing it so it's harder for marinette and adrien to fight.

if something like this actually happens in s5 and they build chloe up to being the next big bad (which people are speculating due to episode titles), it might be ok but it'd be just like s3 where lila coming back and doing stuff is a bit too little too late after a season of benching her. chloe was just portrayed as the brat she was in s1 during s4 (albeit a little worse but still just a brat) it was a big missed opportunity to make her worse if that's what they want to do