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#no one on this hell site actually moved on right?
viccharine · 11 months
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every couple of months something from like 2011-2016 starts trending again and everyone is like “ARE WE REGRESSING????” or “WHAT YEAR IS IT????”
idk guys it happens so often that maybe we should consider that no one on this site actually moved on
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benetnvsch · 1 year
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I love it when im looking at my own post on my own Tumblr and it shows me the 'more like this' collection of posts and it shows posts from blogs I've blocked like?? Yes girl that’s exactly what I wonna see :D man this site is insufferable lol
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mirmidones · 1 year
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im gonna scream
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pascals-doll · 2 months
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aint ya’ girlfriend!
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⋆ ˚ . * · analysis— in which ellie doesn’t know the meaning “commitment”, well she does but chooses to not stay loyal. you’re her roomate and unattainable—or so she thought. venturing into your own dating life causes her to spiral, she aint your girlfriend & neither are you. | WC: 1.5K
₊˚ପ ellie williams x reader | photo cover obvi from Pinterest!
₊˚ପ MEOWW IM BACK !! gotta run it back with some toxic ellie 😇!!
₊˚ପ description: MODERN ROOMATE AU! NO PHYSICAL FEMALE DESCRIPTION! ANGST & SMUT, PORN W PLOT! (lol), toxic!ellie, roomate!ellie, PLAYER! (coded) ellie, JEALOUS!ellie, no use of Y/N, the mention of commitment issues, MUTUAL PINING, blatant flirting, secret crushing, heavy yearning, very small reader x dina, heated arguement, mention of ellie sleeping with multiple women, POWERPLAY, mix of dom!reader & dom!ellie, sub!ellie partly & sub!reader, pent-up sex (😇), teasing, HIGHKEY MAKEUP SEX (👅), possessive!ellie, finger-fucking ( E receiving), face riding (E receiving), 69, praising, pussy eating (both receiving), slight biting (both), slight choking (both), use of pet names ( baby, mama)
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90% percent of things in this world are easily accomplished and achieved, being Ellie Williams roommate wasn’t one of them.
Since the day you met through a roommate finder site, after a few phone conversations getting to know each other t’ill the moment you arranged your meeting. Ellie's been enamored, secretly, nonetheless.
You would lie if you said that from the moment; she came to help you move out t’ill now—dealing with sleepless nights because of her lack of sexual resistance—that her consistent affection didn't sway you.
it's been exactly six months since you've moved in with Ellie and you could recount her daily routine like it was your skincare.
You weren't sure, if you genuinely thought Ellie was sure you were dumb or straight-up shameless.
At dark hours of the midnight, you might've been asleep but that didn’t stop her by the agonizing moans that echoed through cheap plywood walls. You groaned as you muffled your entire face and ears with your pillow, praying for them to shut the fuck up or stop.
Three days, twice a week.
Ellie had to have some type of sex problem. You thought to yourself. You're never one to hate someone's game-but living with the player is absolute fucking hell.
Every morning, you’re an early bird as Ellie is not, due to her nightly ventures.
You felt bad for the women who left disheveled, sneaking through the apartment at 7 AM to leave while you step out your bedroom; an empathetic smile shot their way before hurrying into the bathroom.
Your morning routine consists of cleaning yourself up before stepping out to cook early breakfast.
By the time, Ellie awoke and stepped out cockily, "Thank you, beautiful. You didn't have to cook me breakfast." She coaxed happily, pouring her cup of coffee at 12 PM. You sat on the couch reading your book, legs crossed and rested onto your coffee table.
You chuckled, "That shit's cold by now, I made it when tonight's booty-call left." Unphased and focused on your book. You could hear her footsteps begin to lead towards the living room area, closer, and closer to the couch you relaxed on.
You would never admit it. Although, her lack of respect for your peace—doesn't mean she should starve.
She joined you on the couch, empty space right beside. Ellie's presence tensing your muscles for some reason. She somewhat annoyed you but when you got to talk to her, it went so well. You guys actually had so much in common.
It felt serene to connect with her on many levels besides her surface actions, she was a timid person throughout the small cocky remarks. She was a great listener along as a storyteller over everything.
It was truly remarkable the balance she carried, also interesting. Something you couldn't quite wrap your head around still. You were willingly delusional, but it was clearly evident, you soaked in every moment with this person.
You lowered your book while she asked, "Hmph-touchè, you got any plans for today?" Calling your attention. Eyes sulked, the forest she carried within her eyes; it wasn't hard to comprehend why these women want a chance with her.
Ellie’s eyes were impossible not to get lost in, like compulsion. You never held eye contact too long, taking moments to break away, and retain from fluttering to the brown kissed freckles along her face to the shape of her soft lips.
You squint, a small smirk creeping through "Wouldn't you like to know what I'm up too." Your tone teases before going back to reading.
"I know what you been up too," Ellie tries to push further, reaching forward to delicately grasp your legs that rested on the coffee table. Your legs laid into her lap, sprawling across, and hanging off.
Another thing that consists of her routine the most? Spending the rest of the hours, days, and weeks flirting with you.
Ellie loved physical touch—as if she wasn't physical enough. She loved her hands on you.
Watching herself caress the exposed skin of your legs, massaging down t’ill your ankle high-socks. Wether it was platonic or flirtatious, affection was key with you.
Once again, you lower your book to meet her eyes.
Ellie’s hands worked their way down, her fingers pressuring skillfully onto your heel and tingling the palm of your foot. She continues watching you read, "Oh yeah? What am I going to do today?" You question her, disregarding your book.
Sinking herself into the couch, her hands moving up from your legs to your thighs. Softly squeezing on of them, goosebumping your skin.
Ellie smiles confidently, "Cuddle with me and watch movies." Her eyes shimmering. You gaze at the big grin she spoke with, unsure if she was ever genuine.
You sat-up and leaned closer towards her till met face-level, "I'm sorry Els, someone else booked my time for today! I'm sure you will find a way to entertain yourself, hm?" You patted her shoulder with a smile as you got up.
"Wait, What the fuck do you mean?"
"Oh Williams! I've got a date, gotta' get ready."
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It was insane, truly.
Ellie thought she was going crazy; she couldn't ever date you.
You're too good for her, representing everything she should want but isn't ready for. She was aware of how clearly toxic and intoxicated she was off, and with you.
No. Fuck no.
Ellie repeated to herself mentally, alongside questioning her existence—had she really been so caught up on trying to get a reaction out of you to see your time focused on someone else? —Yes, she was.
It wasn't as bad as the delusions Ellie's paranoia was creating in her mind. You had hung out with your friends where you happened to meet Dina. She was a mutual friend that you were introduced too.
Ever since then, you've been flattered, and hoped for a dinner date with her. For you, it felt like an escape of emotional dread that came after every touch, sentence, and epithet that left Ellie's lips.
You hated the way you loved how affectionate she was, catching yourself vulnerable every time she touched you. Always dwelling the feeling of her soft warmth that soaked into your own invisible bliss, never allowing yourself to look too pleased; Yet, never pulling away.
Ellie headed down the hallway to your room. She was desperate to get you to stay, creating small and stupid conversation to slow you as she loved hearing her nickname fall from your lips even though she was practically seeping jealousy.
Ellie was her own ticking time-bomb, her patience melting, and mustering “Who's the lucky girl?" She bugged, trying her hardest to conceal that greened tone.
You swirl your chair around, now completely facing her as you couldn’t help your jaw fall agape. You examine her demeanor while speaking up, “I don't ask about your daily rendezvouses." You were quick to quirk back, feeling uncalled for.
Ellie's brows knitted together, "We-well—are you gonna' bring them back? I deserve to know that." She stumbled but spit back.
It was clear, now, you offended her. It was true. You never asked about the women she brought into your shared apartment. The women she brought to make you jealous.
The laugh you let out was priceless, "I don't get a say on who you bring home, why would you?" You called her out.
Ellie stepped closer to your chair. She looked into your mirror, leaving you no choice but to face her as your swirled around, her eyes gandered through your vanity mirror.
Your facial expressions were clearer as she continued to push, "It's different, you know that." She tries to prove.
You wanted peace and relaxation, something Ellie makes a sure mission of that you never fucking receive.
"You can't go out," Ellie began.
"Who's gonna stop me? Are you serious?' You thought she must've been fucking with you; you weren't going to hear another word of it.
"Just get out, get out now." Standing up from you chair, holding it open as she walks out, and slamming the door behind her.
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You had left and most of all, you had left Ellie feeling like complete shit.
She couldn't believe you did this, did this to her. It felt like you had shot right through her heart, torturing her with her own distasteful antics, and leaving a sour tang to her soul.
In her mind, she thought you were utterly selfish. She couldn't see past the fact that, you, didn't owe her anything.
Ellie wanted you, beyond pleasure, more than anything. You became insatiable to her.
She didn’t allow herself to soak in tangled feelings she felt for you, knew she had, even if it ate her alive at night. You would come to visit her in her sleep or while she mindlessly fucked some girl—sometimes, even pretending it was you.
You are treasure to her, too valuable to touch, but always curious with growing desperation to obtain and protect.
Ellie's peace was founded in you, a safe place she loves calling home. Unknown to your knowledge and you disrupted it.
As she disrupts your peace by being with anyone, but you.
Ellie finally understood what you meant by those backhanded insults.
She sat there with her hands palmed to her face, fingers running, and scratching through her short soft locks. Messing her own hair up, contemplating on how she could turn such a deep pattern.
This entire time she had been failing and failed to see that.
Out of everything, she thought blowing up your phone was the answer.
When you finally opened your phone, you saw your notification inbox full.
ⓘ Els ❕50+ messages
ⓘ Els ❕50 missed calls
You excused yourself to the restroom at fhe table with Dina, "I'm sorry, is it okay if run to the restroom really quick?" You requested through a thick forced tone and hidden irritation.
Your date had been going amazing. You may not have a lot in common with Dina, but she's a cheerful person who brings a refreshening energy. It was nice being in her presence.
It wasn't enough though.
You found yourself comparing your conversations to the conversations you have with Ellie, who is just your fucking roommate.
Dina was picture perfect, absolutely stunning, and she respected you more than you imagined Ellie ever could. That was the thing; even if talking to Dina tonight was full of laughter.
Everything you wanted wasn't her.
Never able to shake the anticipation of her touches, and the absence of her presence. Which make you crave it. Crave her. She was pure risk and you never wanted her to change.
You had a crush on your roommate, and you were fucked.
You were in the restroom ringing Ellie's phone. Hearing the beat of your heart thumps.
"You better say something good." You wanted to scream out as the line connects. You had every right to be, never once have you blown up her phone.
"Where are you? Let me come get you." She hurried through her words, hearing her surroundings of cars driving with a swish of wind.
You paced around, shocked and even more angry, "Are you out? Where are you?" You throw her own question back at her, whisper-yelling in a stall.
Ellie was so desperate to find where you were out like a girlfriend gone rogue.
"On my way to come get you, now tell me, where." She states blatantly and impatiently.
"You fucking wish! what happened? your hookup ain't text ya' back?" Your tone was laced with pure spite. It was silent for a small moment over the phone.
"Tell me where you are or come home." You could hear the desperation through her roughed-up tone.
Not a word was said. Your mood had been completely killed and you were hanging on by a thread. Repeating herself, “Come home or tell me where you are, please."
For the first time, you heard Ellie beg. She was pleading for you to come home, and you hated to admit it; yet, again.
But it worked.
When you finally saw her, you didn’t bring yourself to look or speak while you walked completely past her.
The silence was piercing the whole way. You could hear a pin drop.
“No side piece tonight?” your tone, only bashful. You were exhausted and enraged.
Ellie's white wife-beater was roughed up and you could smell the stench of marijuana roam off her neck. She looked sullen, her eyes low, bagged, and her jaw seeming clenched; her hair staticy.
You observed her body language, scanning her lean figure. Her sweatpants hung loosely onto her hips as her gaze shifted between you and her own feet.
Huffing, "Just why." you state, disassociating yourself by looking at the ground. It was continued silence for a moment.
"You came back for a reason, though." Ellie finally spoke and it just made everything worse.
"You know what? I did. I came back because I actually care for you. I thought you were in trouble or something, so I thought, hey, maybe I should go back—" You began, your voice shrieking as it raised louder.
"Something you never fucking think to do, too busy fucking to show me an ounce of respect!" You yelled. Weight had been lifted.
It was like screaming a keyword at Ellie, budging from looking at ground to look at you "What are you talking about!?" Ellie's eyes widen, her eyebrows raising as she retorts.
"You don't fucking get it!" you didn't say anything as she raised her hand angrily into the air, then running in through her hair.
"It is so fucking hard trying to resist you." Ellie's eyes were piercing into yours, her steps stalking closer.
"No matter how many women, they are never you. You are all I think about." You could hear her voice grow lower and lower as you froze.
You were at a loss for words, lips parted as you try to focus on your breathing.
"I want you. I need you." Ellie continues, whispering. Feeling her warm breath feather your lips. Ellie closed any space between you both, pulling you into her.
You opened your mouth to speak—only for her to bring a finger up to shush your lips, "I can't stand the thought of you with someone else." Ellie continued, leaning in closer and slowly removing her finger.
So many parts of you wanted to scream rejection, but as you feel her warmth, and her words you’ve dreamed. You could feel your blood rush and heat you up, feeling Ellie's body haze you, your mouth desperate and shaky.
"Kiss me, then." you tut.
Your lips met passionately, an automatic fight for dominance as the pace got hot. The thirst shared was unquenchable.
The personal echoes of each other's kisses smack as your hands got lost in her hair. Your fingers slightly tug onto her loose locks. Ellie's hands greedily rapturing you further into her body—till she couldn't; craving to feel every part of you.
You were lost into the feeling of Ellie's lips, her tongue swiping at your bottom lip as she's desperate to explore more of you.
Your bodies fiend for each other, one of your hands tugging on her muscle tank, and the other lowering from her hair. Ellie's hands roam from your waist, trilling at the feeling of you grazing her neck. She passes your hips till she reached thigh, and hiking it up onto her hip.
Ellie's grasps and grips onto the thick of your thigh, slowly dipping to cup the cheek of your ass. She sneaked a firm squeeze on your ass causing you to shriek, allowing her tongue to explore every crevice of your mouth.
Ellie giggled into the kiss at your muffled moans, amused by how she's effecting you. You push her off slightly, catching your breath. You were both left breathless while she kept eyes on each part of you.
Taking a step closer, reaching your hand out to caress her cheek. Indulged by the freckles painted into her as your thumb brushes her soft cheek. Slowly traveling your hand to her nape before coming around full circle, choking her, and pulling her chest to chest.
You smirk at the way her pupils dilatated. Ellie's mouth was agape, leaning in to lick a teasing swipe along her bottom and top lip. "I'm not your girlfriend." you state.
A soft quick squeeze on her neck causing a weak whine to fall from her lips. Oh, this was better than you imagined.
Ellie gripped your arm, pulling you around and into her chest. Walking you back, you felt your back eventually hit against her door with a hasty thud. Her tongue explored you, intertwining with your own as you sucked softly.
Each grope and wet lick electrified a craving in your stomach, pulsing into your arousal. She struggles with the doorknob, jiggling it open as her other hand held you. Ellie would never admit how soaked you get her.
Your needy grinds contra the pleasure dripping through her briefs as her lips learned every secret love spot within your precious body. You both tumbled onto her bed, not a care in the world besides this fervid momentum shared between you both.
Ellie toppled you, slowly lowering closer. Taking a chance to catch her by suprise, pulling her down with your leg hooked, and flipping her over. Now, you were on top.
Your lips quickly find their way to her clavicle, pecking, and licking alongside her neck. Almost ripping off her wife-beater while leaving open-mouthed kisses onto her shoulder. Continuing kissing down and around her exposed tits.
Your eyes switched watching her face and the way the cool air perked up her nipples. Ellie's back arched as you teased your teeth onto the plush above her tits, right above her sensitive erect nipples. you leave an array of hickeys, enjoying each squirm let out from under you.
This was your sweet revenge, her punishment for every time; she could've been with you, but wasn't.
You didn't stop tricking her with your tongue. Maneuvering down from fondling one of her tits, twiddling your finger around her nipple, and sliding into her loose sweats.
Your hand hasty as you reach the warmth of her panties, middle, and ring finger curve into the soaked patch that leaked through her panty. Thumb pushing up on her clit softly while Ellie turns her head laying head on the bed, watching you tease her; growing embarrassingly wet.
It was primal instinct, playing, and pushing for her weaknesses. You studied every small moan and squirm left form her body. Your fingers continuously circle her clit through her panties. She was quick to spread her legs for you, allowing you access.
Ellie's tits perked and red by your teeth and feverish sucking. You kept finger firm, pressing down onto her covered clit as the fabric of her soppy panty rubbed into her, pulling her panty to the side, coating your two fingers with her slick.
Ellie's chest heaves with a loud moan as her thighs tremble. You watch her struggle to reach up and stop your arm. She was on the border of giving in and still anxious for control.
She grips onto your wrist, slimed finger following down to her vulnerable entrance, toying with her, torturously. You kiss and lick your way back up, meeting her berried lips.
Your middle finger pushes into her, curving upward, and enticing her walls which immediately knocked a desperate strangled moan out of Ellie, throwing her head back.
The sound of her slick swirl and smack within gliding in and out of her whetted pussy brought you a gluttonous satisfaction. Her addictive cries encouraged another finger to join your soaked middle, stretching her out completely. Ellie’s grown in nail tips dug into your incensed flicking wrist.
Ellie on a frenzy of choked whines and unstable string of moans, "Gah-fuck me!".
You admire the work you've sucked onto her body. A fleeced giggle leaves your lips as you plant feathered kisses onto her cheeks, "Already am, baby" You murmured.
The pace you fucked her with was exquisite, your fingertips fluttering against her g-spot as they plunge deeper. Quickening your thrusts with every squelch given by Ellie’s gushed pussy. She held her mouth agape, allowing yourself to dive your tongue in, swallowing her lewd noises.
Ellie clenches around you, her pussy guzzling every inch of your thickened fingers. You could feel and hear her heartbeat pound against your smushed chests, "Ya'like it? like how it feels, honey?" Your question was coy, sliding your fingers fourth, pressing your tips verse her walls.
"Ah! yes, fuck, fuck yes!—I'm gonna'—" Lecherous shrieks fell from her lips as you help ride out her orgasm. Your fingers relentless in her pussy, juicing itself around your fingers; coating your fingers.
"Let it out, Els", You start to praise into her ear, "I know you've been dying too."
Your coo finishes her off with a loud grunt as you pull out your lustered up fingers. Without looking or a second thought, your free hand grabbed Ellie's jaw and attempted to focus her dazed vision to watch you.
Both of your eye's leer into each other as you plop your fingers into your mouth, coming sucking off her cum with a pop.
Ellie's eyes turned dark, her lids hazed, and hooded.
Slowly lifting yourself and shifting your hips below her stomach, Ellie was quick with her movements, flipping you over, and trapped under her. The feeling of her hands running up and down your clothed body, leaning down your ear, “Time, I took all this off…” She weakly whispers as she hovers over you.
Your body was completely sprawled onto her navy-blue sheeted bed with your arms raised above your head, and her knee pushing into your clothed heat. Mimicking your exact position, each sloppy kiss was followed by a piece of clothing being thrown off.
Seconds. How quick it was for you to be in nothing but your panties. Ellie’s kisses were precise and every nonverbal praise by the unconscious grind of your hips and bit-back whines.
She flows herself between your legs, pulling each one onto her shoulders as her lips pecked from your thighs till, she met your damped panty. "You had your fun," She started muttering into you.
"Only fair if I have mine, right mama?" Ellie cocks her head to the side, meeting your eyes before biting your panty-lining and proceeding to hike down your panties with her teeth.
Your eyes peered into her, watching the way she intently focused every part of you. She kissed every beauty mark that was blessed up your body. The feeling of her breath inching closer to your dewed pussy-lips; arching your back in temptation.
You thread your fingers throughout her hair, tugging slightly. You were no longer challenging her, giving complete submission to Ellie.
She watches the way arousal drips from your slit; her hands massaged the goosebumps perking the hairs on you. Ellie couldn't believe she was granted with such a divine privilege, drooling at the thought.
Ellie kitten-licked the delicious nectar that trickled, her tongue dragging flat against your pussy, and licking up your pulpy clit. Indulging in every moment spent between your legs with every keen lick trailed across your heat.
An inflamed jolt seeds through your spine, your entire body to thrash further into the bed as you cry out, "Ah!—Fucking god!" Your pleasure enthralling you to your ankles.
The wet smacking from her saliva coated sucks mixed with your core's elation. A train of vulgar slob laps your pussy while she gets lost in between your furred lips and swallowing you up, “It ain’t god, baby.” Smirking at your sensual vulnerability.
The tone she used was condescendingly sweet. Trembling your legs and jerking your hips which pushed Ellie’s head further into your pussy as the heel of your foot digs into her shoulder, and hands wrestling through her brunette locks.
Your head was thrown back in tempestuous joy, “Mmph! Ellie!—so fucking good!” Ellie’s tongue danced on your clit before making her way towards your soppy entrance.
Pure ecstasy marauded its way up and through your internal, tightening your abdomen. Every strike of her tongue inched closer to cumming all over her. You felt your hips cramp as you try to push Ellie off, backing away desperately.
You struggled, meekly crying out, "F-fuck! stop! stop!" Ellie immediately pulled away with wide eyes. She looked up at you alarmed, "Did I hurt you?!" her tone sincere and worried as she got up, standing above you.
Trying to catch your breath, sweat glistening your naked body. You lean up on your elbows to look at her, "Get on the bed..." your voice was breathless and clear. Ellie walks over slowly, hovering next to you on the empty side of the bed while licking the corners of her lips deviously.
Ellie leans over, her hand threading through your messy hair as she kissed you ferociously. Tasting yourself on her tongue as your own greedily twirled around her mouth. Both of your tongues swirl around each other as your arms find their way around Ellie's body.
You pull away from her lips, "Put your pussy on me." you sulk, regaining your strength.
"Aren't you charming." She jokes out sarcastically and smirking, "Oh, just sit on my face." you huff with a fun grin.
Just like that, Ellie turns around, holding herself up onto your thighs. Your hands run through the back on her thighs till you made your way to her ass, fondling, and squeezing her plush flesh. Mouth’s salivating at each other.
Ellie lets out a gratifying groan as your tongue swipes her sensitive slits, twirling around her hole and thumb circling her clit. Arching herself down onto you more while leveling herself in-between your thighs, leaving sloppy opened kisses on your pussy.
Your stomach bubbles up lewdly, chasing after her swirling tongue within the impatient trial to get her to cum all over your face. The mix of each other's nibbles and starved slurps, propelling bodies together as your legs convulsed and her own thighs shook with inched erotica.
You feel your orgasm coarse and itch closer as Ellie continues to drag between your slits. Starting to move faster, hips grinding against your face. Ellie is soon following close behind, both of you moaning and panting while reaching each other’s simultaneous climax.
A string of choked out moans bouncing off her white walls, “Don-Don’t stop!” you gasp out before closing your mouth around her clit.
Continuous harmony between both of your moans as you both cum all over each other, creaming your faces.
You and Ellie lay in each other's arms, basking in the afterglow. Eyes dozed, sweaty bodies entwined, and sharing a first tender moment of silence.
You lifted your nuzzled head from the crook of her neck, breaking the silence.
“I don't want you to touch anyone besides me.” Voice hoarse and clearer than ever.
“I dont want to ever see anyone besides you.”
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A/N: I FEEL BEYOND GRATEFUL FOR REACHING 1k WHILE I WAS GONE 🥹 i thought it was about time i post cus i finally feel like ? confident ? i spent most of my time if it wasn’t personal life duty, id be writing a bunch of self indulgent fictions (THIS WAS ONE OF THEM LOL) and practicing and differentiating my writing style to my liking.
THANK YOU SO MUCH GENUINELY IT MEANS THE WORLD! i cant wait to continue :)
dolls-taglist̗̀➛ @marsworlddd @cosmopolitanaut @elliewilliamsgirl3 @elliewilliamgfooc @graviewaviee @yourelliewillms @elliesgf1244 @deliriousrn @yondaimekazzy @moonyvs4 @tearouthearts @ride4els @colecassidysfav @theoraekenslover @localorphanage @starmoon333
updated taglist link here! (other was corrupted)
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jji-lee · 15 days
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you stared at your kitchen counter, sheets covered with song lyrics scattered all around you. each one sweeter than the next. mark had labeled the songs, each one with a date and the song title written on the top of the page.
03.15 no names, just us
he talked about how you both met, on that stupid site. how he knew from the start that it felt just right. he didn't need to see your face, the words you spoke making him feel like he found his place.
03.16. my juliet
he said he'd never read the book, hadn't even taken a look. but that day he asked hyuck for a copy. he finished it only in a couple hours, laying on his bed, wondering what the hell he just read. he hoped that his love story wouldn't reach that tragic end.
03.22. just lips
you blushed as you read the next song, a very detailed description of your first kiss. he talked about his roaming hands, feeling your ass, soft and plump, described how it made something other than his heart jump. how by the end of the night he was dying to see you, but all that you left him with was his balls blue.
04.07. ms. librarian
this one was about when he finally found out it was you. how he tried to deny that his neighbor was the one, but fate brought him to you, not just anyone. so he'd have to find his way into your heart, even if it meant he'd have to keep a secret that could pull you two apart.
04.12 soft sweet scent
this song was supposed to be about the first time you two hung out. but mark started to ramble about how you smelt, how it made him wonder how you felt. the rest you'll keep to yourself, but it's about the thoughts he had when he locked himself in your bathroom, lets just say he had a lot in mind of what he'd want to do to you.
.
the rest of the songs went on about the dates you both had, about the guilt he felt for keeping the secret, the jealousy he felt when he saw you with his friends. there were 64 songs in total, some short some long, but each one filled with nothing but pure love. the 64th was the shortest, but just as special.
05.18 come over
i can't believe it took me so long to realize what was right next door. the perfect girl for me, the one that always leaves me wanting more. just with one kiss you had me hooked, even before i knew how you looked. so come to me baby, i'm right next door waiting, be mine please, don't just stand there debating.
right as you finished you heard a knock on your door, you didn't even think twice before opening it, lyric sheets still in your hands. mark stood there fist up in the air, shocked at the speed at which you opened the door. a blush crept onto his cheeks as he chuckled awkwardly,
"oh, um, hi, hi i know in the, uh, song i told you to come over, but you were taking kinda long, so i just wanted to see if um, you were okay."
you smiled up at him, blushing like a school girl, a light giggle escaping your lips,
"you do know you wrote 64 songs right? i'm an english major but i don't read that fast."
he scratched the back of his neck,
"oh yeah, right, sorry, i like, i don't know dude, i haven't slept in days."
you raised a brow at him,
"dude? is that how you refer to your girlfriend?"
"oh no i'm sorry i just- wait what? my girlfriend? you'll be my girlfriend, really?"
he leaned down to wrap his arms around you, pulling you into a hug, the paper in your hands crinkling as you squeezed him back,
"god, it's only been 2 days but i missed your smell, you just smell so-"
he inhaled deeply, as he leaned into your neck, placing light kisses there.
"mhmm, i know, i think i read about it in the 'soft sweet scent' song. something about wanting to know if i tasted just as swee-."
he moved his attention away from your neck, deciding to place a soft kiss on your lips instead,
"okayyy, that's enough. i will actually die if you read anything that i wrote out loud."
you giggled as the blush on his cheeks grew darker, clearly remembering the dirty words he spent all night writing. he cleared his throat, backing away from the hug,
"so, i kinda prepared something if you wanna go see, it's kinda corny but, i don't know, i don't know, i got it off pinterest."
you nodded quickly, excited to see what he planned, squeezing his hand tightly as he led you out of your apartment and into his.
.
as you walked into his apartment you felt your heart fluttered at the scene in front of you. the room was dark, only the light from the tv illuminating the room. his couch was adorned with soft blankets and pillows, snacks laid out on the coffee table.
"i know it's not much but, i got your favorite snacks, and- wait, look-"
he reached for a blanket on the couch, stretching it out in his arms, showing it to you, you laughed at the image on the blanket.
"wait- can you see? did i get it right? that's nanami right?"
"yes mark, you successfully bought a blanket with nanami's face on it."
he threw the blanket back on the couch, smiling proudly as he walked towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist. you brought your hands up to hold his face bringing him down for a quick kiss. he smiled wide as he pulled you towards the couch.
"guess what we're gonna watch. it starts with romeo and ends with-"
you stopped in your tracks,
"wait you don't expect me to sit on that couch right? the one you used to fuck all those girls on?"
he laughed nervously,
"uh, actually, how about you meet me in my room."
you gave him a thumbs up before making your way to his room, giggling as he gave your ass a light pat as you walked away.
"oh, and don't bring nanami! he touched the weird sex couch!"
mark let out a laugh as he watched you make a disgusted face at the piece of furniture. not like he was gonna bring him anyways, he was getting laid tonight, and he didn't need some old anime guy watching.
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𖦹 .ᐣ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ cryptic crush — [39] certified throat goat
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previous — masterlist — next
notes : heyoooo, this is like the second to last update for this series (idk what second to last means but theres one more chapter hehe) then i will make some extras so lmk if theres something specific you want to see!!!
taglist : @sunghoonsgfreal , @dalsosapple , @nanaxwi , @neverbeurs , @miichellehciim , @hizhu , @mystverse , @ppeachyttae , @jae-n0 , @onlyhyunjin , @alethea-moon , @onyourmark-99 , @sunnystarred , @p-d1ddy , @hisrkive , @flwrs4marklee , @haechskiss , @rutheaflowers , @busy-daydreaming02 , @byeonwooseokabs , @bunniin , @odxrilove , @injunnie-lemon , @sunflowerhae , @nosungluv , @222brainrot , @vklve , @aerivrs , @slayhaechan , @aek1ra , @honeynanamin , @roseangelxfuma , @starfilledgaze , @meowtella , @grassbutneo , @hyuck-me , @lovm4rk , @minkyuncutie , @babystrlla , @tynlvr , @jakesbubu , @yutasputa69 , @mrkleelvr , @spiderm444rk , @zzurao , @haechoshi , @brii-sunwoos-version , @nneteyamss , @morkiee
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kissenturine · 3 months
Text
𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐄 kazuha x m!reader — 5.1k words, not proofread, minors do not interact
TO NOTE: strangers to lovers, mentions and use of alcohol (no drunk sex though), kazuha and reader are roommates, sort of college / modern au, morning sex / sleepy sex, praise, pet names (good boy [?], angel, uh i cant remember sorry), aftercare is not written but it is given, praise teehee, reader rides kazuha, kazuha jerks reader off, lmk if i missed any thanks :3
KAI SAYS: GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! birthday post im now 20 that sounds so old euugghh
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Rent was hell.
Your minimum income, which was mostly spent on necessities and college fees, was barely able to pay last month. And now with inflation, you weren’t sure how you were going to make it through another year.
But, there was always hope. It was only the beginning of June after all.
Last week, your friend introduced you to a website to find roommates. Having a roommate would solve a few of my problems, you thought as you scrolled through the site on your computer. For one, the rent would be split between the two of you, which was much more manageable than right now. And, for two, you would get to actually talk to someone every day.
It would be a win-win situation if the two of you got along.
After a few days of thinking everything through, looking at different people’s profiles, because the site was a “Tinder for roommates,” as your friend had put it, you found a man that matched your preferences.
Kaedehara Kazuha.
From what you could tell by his profile, he looked like a sweet man. His profile picture was set to a white cat, and you can see his hand atop its head, gently petting against the cat’s ears. You hadn’t met him in person yet, but through text, you’d managed to get to know him a bit.
The two of you texted about your hobbies and Kauha told you about his life. He was getting a degree in poetry at a college near your house, which is why he selected the area. He told you earlier today about himself. He liked to eat fish and go drinking out. He liked staying with animals he liked warm weather and sunny days, and he liked to spend time with his loved ones and friends.
To be honest, he seemed a bit too good to be true.
But, you think, I suppose some people are just like that.
With a content sigh, you shut your computer. You’d texted Kazuha and the two of you had planned for him to move in today. It seemed a little quick to you, but Kazuha said he didn’t really have anything big to move over. According to him, he’d only be bringing one suitcase and backpack.
Yesterday, you cleaned out the guest room—well, know his room. It was tedious work, something you hoped you wouldn’t have to do again. Ever. But, you supposed it would be worth it in time.
So now here you were, sanding proudly with your hands on your hips smiling at your spotless house. Kazuha better like it here… You think. Your hand goes to run through your hair gently, combing it back. You’re about to flop down onto the couch and maybe take a nap—only for the familiar tune of the doorbell to ring through the house, echoing and bouncing off the walls.
Your head snaps backwards, a nervous smile making its way onto your lips.
You rush to the door, ignoring the slight shake in your step. Your heartbeat quickens and you don’t know why. Kazuha’s a nice man. You remind yourself, though you don’t think that’s why you're nervous.
Slowly, you unlock your door and turn the doorknob with your other hand. And there, standing to greet you is your new roommate. Kaedehara Kazuha.
You greet him with a polite smile, cracking open the door just enough to let him inside. The roll of his suitcase from the sidewalk outside up onto the flooring of your house sends a loud ‘Clunk! Clunk!’ sound and you wince a little.
You shut the door behind you, schooling your expression as you turn back to Kazuha. He trunks to you quickly and smiles gently. “Ah,” he says and his voice is so soft when he speaks, “I’m Kazuha, but I suppose you already know that.”
You introduce yourself, finishing off the same as him with a short, “but I suppose you already knew that too.”
He nods politely a small laugh flitting out of his lips. You lead him to his new bedroom, helping him carry his backpack as he lifts his suitcase, not wanting the wheels to dirty the floor. Kazuha takes a look around, his smile being ever present as you drop his backpack by the door.
“It’s nice here.” He comments, turning his gaze from you to his bedroom.
A bashful grin makes its way to your lips. “Thanks.” You murmur. “Cleaned just for you.”
With that, he’s looking back at you. “Just for me?” He responds, and there’s an edge of playfulness that lies beneath the overlaying gratefulness in his tone. “Thank you.”
You just nod, not fully trusting your voice.
After a moment, Kazuha sits down at the edge of his bed, tracing his hands over the expanse of the duvet. “We should go out sometime.” He says and you blink. You’re face feels warm and you hope Kazuha doesn’t see.
“Like…” Your voice trails off, leaving your sentence unfinished. Like a date? You wanted to say, but your lips don’t seem to work.
Kazuha seems to take note of this, chuckling softly. “Just to get to know each other better. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy.” He gives you a comforting smile and your nervousness seems to dissipate when you look at him.
“Ok.” You agree. “We can plan something for after you’ve gotten more… settled in.”
Kazuha’s smile widens and he gives you a nod. “Thanks.”
You take a deep breath, before speaking up again. “I’ll leave you to it then.” You turn on your heel before walking out of Kazuha’s new bedroom. You shut the door gently before speed-walking to your room and collapsing onto your bed.
Your breathing comes out in soft puffs as you bury your face into a pillow, curling yourself on your bed. What the fuck was that? You cry mentally. You grip onto the bedsheets tightly. Your heart is beating fast and you think it’d beat tight through your ribs if you don’t calm down soon. You bring your hands to your face, dragging them across your eyes. “I’m fucked.” You curse quietly. Kazuha’s so nice! You know you probably won’t even last a month without developing some sort of feelings for him and that scares you. 
You… don’t want to ruin what little the two of you had managed to build up in the past week. As little as it was, you like what you have with Kazuha. In the back of your mind, though, there’s the nagging feeling for more. You want to get closer to Kazuha, you want to spend time with him.
Maybe that date of his wouldn’t be too bad.
With a heavy sigh, you twist your body to lay like a starfish, sprawled across your bed. You turn your gaze to your window, squinting as the sunlight fans through the glass and into your eyes. If you just ignored any feelings that developed, they would just go away, right?
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The first six days with Kazuha were… different from your usual routine, to put it simply.
On Monday (because everyone knows the week starts with Monday and not Sunday!) you awoke to the smell of food wafting through the house. You were instantly up and out of bed, barely managing to throw on a shirt—backwards—before you stumbled into the kitchen.
You were taken aback by the sight that greeted you.
Kazuha, in his pyjamas and an apron, was humming a soft tune as he cooked something on the stove. He turns once he notices you, standing in shock by the doorway. “Ah,” he said, “I see you’re finally awake.” He humed, using the spatula to plate a scrambled egg. He handed you the plate and Archons it smelled good. “I made breakfast. Used some of your food, if you don’t mind.”
You absentmindedly nodded, entranced by the way he moved around the kitchen, putting things in the dishwasher, plating his food, and turning off the stove. All of those were such ordinary things, but, for some reason, it just made you more drawn to him.
You brought your plate to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down, still watching Kazuha. “Thanks for breakfast.” You murmured after a few bites. “It’s really good.”
“Well, it’s only natural I repay you somehow.” Kazuha said before sitting down beside you. “You basically lent me your house to live in.” He joked.
“Our house now.” You responded. “Since you’ll be payin’ half the rent.”
Kazuha nods, taking a bite out of his own breakfast. “I plan on spending the week organizing my stuff. Nothing big, just getting everything tidy.” The two of you sat in comfortable silence, basking in the warmth of the summer weather.
Besides that, Monday wasn’t anything eventful.
Tuesday was spent helping Kazuha. Cooped up in his room, the two of you went through his clothes and belongings, organizing them into his closet and drawers. Kazuha had a decent amount of clothes, which were the bulk of what he brought.
You talked and talked and talked with Kazuha. He was so sweet. You swore you’d told yourself that a million times by now, but it was always true. Kazuha’s laugh was soft and kind, he laughed at all your stupid, cheesy jokes, no matter how unfunny they were. He’d help you cook meals—much better than you ever could.
Tuesday was when you had come to realize that maybe you were enjoying his company a little too much. But, you thought, he’s just… fun to be around.
You used that excuse for the rest of the week.
Kazuha was just… nice. Everyone would enjoy his company like this. You were no different!
It was a pathetic excuse, but it was pathetic enough for you to cling onto.
Wednesday you and Kazuha went out and you showed him the neighbourhood as the two of you walked to the store for some groceries. Kazuha took an oddly long time looking through the fruits and vegetables section, eyeing each piece we selected carefully before placing it into the plastic bag we used to carry everything.
It was endearing.
After a good forty-five minutes of walking around the store, the two of you finally decided to head to the cashier for check out. Kazuha was polite as he made idle chatter with them, but you couldn’t help the frown that pulled at your face.
You were right there. If he wanted to talk to someone, why couldn’t it be you? You were sure you were more entertaining than that cashier worker.
But you pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind. You pulled out your credit card, expecting to pay, only for Kazuha to gently pull your hand back. “Let me.” He says gently. Your eyes dart to him and your face flushes when you feel his hand graze gently over yours as he pulls it back.
He wanted to pay for you.
Ah, if you hadn’t fallen for him yet, you sure as hell had now.
He taps his card quickly and you barely manage to make it out of the store while avoiding Kazuha’s gaze.
Things only started to set in on Thursday.
You’d woken up with a heavy migraine and a grumpy mood, so it didn’t come as a surprise that you didn’t want to talk to anyone. Unfortunately, that also included Kazuha. And yet, Kazuha didn’t push you when you refused to talk to him while the two of you ate breakfast.
“Good morning,” He had said in greeting. “How’re you?”
You don’t respond, only taking the plate of food he’d set aside for you. You’re swift to finish your food; shovelling it into your mouth and not even bothering to wait for Kazuha.
He, on the other hand, still had that oh-so-sweet smile of his plastered across his pretty lips. “I’ll take it you’re not feeling great, then.” He murmurs. Kazuha gets up from his seat beside you before handing you a glass of water. “You should drink up. Water’s very good for you, so I’m sure it’ll help you a bit.”
You do as he said, chugging the glass of water in one go. “Thanks.” You whisper. Those were the first words you said to him that day, and you could already feel your migraine easing up. Kazuha is like magic, you think, he fixes everything without even trying.
You gave Kazuha a half-hearted smile before placing your plate and utensils in the dishwasher and heading to your room to take a nap. Naps always seemed to ease your headaches.
As you collapsed on your bed, snuggling up under your heavy duvet, your thoughts drifted back to Kazuha. He was sweet, but you’d also come to the realization that he was handsome. His hair was always up into a ponytail, with that little section of red swooping on top of his ear. His eyes are quite pretty, too. You thought. A shimmering red that often matched the clothes he wore, sparkling as he laughed. And his hands, they looked so gentle as he carried things around. His fingers worked effortlessly as he wrote his poetry in that small notebook of his.
“This man,” you whispered to yourself, “is too good to be true.”
On Friday, Kazuha let you have the honour of brushing and tying up his hair.
He’d caught you staring at him as he sat on his bed, his fingers wove through his white locks. With a raised eyebrow, he beckons you over, handing you a red hair tie. “Mind helping me?” He asked softly.
You complied eagerly, scooting behind him. You ran your hand through his hair, gently scooping it behind his shoulders. Kazuha let out a soft hum, as he nodded in content. Carefully, you pull his hair into a ponytail, twisting the thin band to wrap carefully around it a few more times.
“There.” You said. “It’s done.”
Kazuha turned to face you, his knees pressed much too close to yours. “Thank you.” He grinned, grabbing your hand to rest in between his cool ones. “I really appreciate this.”
Your face flushed, an embarrassing warmth coating your cheeks. You brought your free hand to scratch awkwardly at the back of your neck before mumbling out a response. “No problem, Kazuha.”
Saturday was spent planning the two of your guys’ “date” that would be happening on Sunday.
Kazuha suggested a picnic, and you couldn’t help but agree. Maybe it was the thought of spending a day with him, or maybe it was how he wanted to spend a day with you, but you knew you would’ve agreed to anything he said.
The picnic would be on Sunday, in a park the two of you found online.
After a very successful planning session, the two of you spent the rest of the day preparing and packaging food for the picnic.
It was somewhat chaotic—but it was also fun.
Kazuha taught you how to make his favourite sandwich, how to toast the bread perfectly, and how to cut each one into little heart shapes. All with a soft smile dancing on his pretty lips as he guided your hands gently, easing the knife into the bread.
Archons, you were fucked. How’re you supposed to live with him, like this, every day?
And now, it’s Sunday; the day of the picnic.
Your foot taps nervously against the floor of your bedroom. What am I supposed to wear? Yes, you do know you’re probably overthinking this, but you can’t help it! Not when it’s because of Kazuha! You have to make sure you’re always looking your best!
Your cheeks puff out as a heavy sigh leaves your lips, eventually settling on your outfit of the day.
Finally ready, you nervously open the door, heading out to meet Kazuha in the kitchen.
He greets you with a smile and a call of your name. His arms find their way around your waist in a tight hug and you blink. Oh, oh, oh, oh—what do I do!? When did he get so… touchy?! Not that I’m complaining but—You stand frozen, yet Kazuha doesn’t seem to mind. He pulls back with his signature smile. “You’re ready to go?” He questions, taking a step towards the front door.
“Y-Yeah.” You manage to stutter out. “I’m ready.”
“Great!” He grabs your hand, leading you out of your shared home. He doesn’t let go as the two of you walk to the park. With the picnic basket in his free hand, Kazuha still grips yours gently as he leads you. His thumb runs over the skin of your hand absentmindedly. You think it’s supposed to be a calming gesture, but, it only makes your heart beat faster and your face go warm.
You eventually find yourself in a large field, small flowers adorning the grass. Kazuha tugs a blanket out of his bag, laying it over the grass. He plops down on it, patting the space beside him as he does. “Sit with me.” He says.
You comply quickly, placing your own basket down and taking a spot beside him. “...Thanks for doing this with me.” You murmur, giving Kazuha a shy glance.
He only grins in response, digging through his bag and handing you one of the sandwiches you prepared yesterday. “It’s nothing, really.” He smiles, and you feel a tingle go through your hand where his finger brushes over yours. “I like spending time with you.”
“I like spending time with you too.” You match his expression, your lips pulling into a smile. It hasn’t even been a week, and yet it feels like you’ve known Kazuha for years.
Kazuha grins, reaching into his bag. “Good.” is all he responds before pulling something out. Is that a wine bottle? “Now, would you like a drink?”
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You… never took Kazuha as a drinker.
And yet, here he is, drunk out of his mind as slurs slip from his lips. Kazuha calls out your name, his head slipping onto your shoulder as his hands grip the blanket the two of you are sitting on. “Do you…” He trails off. “Do youuu… wanna watch th-the sunset w’me?” He slurs his eyes fixing on yours from his position on your shoulder.
You cough awkwardly. “Kazuha.” You say softly, easing his head off your shoulder. “It’s four-thirty in the afternoon. The sunsets not coming out anytime soon…”
“B-But—” He whines. “It woulda been soooo romantic.” Kazuha grins, his eyes lolling shut as he slumps against your chest this time. “Jus’ you, me, an’ the flowers.”
“Oh, Kazuha.” You sigh. “I’d love to watch the sunset with you, but we have to get you home before dark. It’d be dangerous walking out drunk at night.”
“No!” He cries. “I could… could protect you… from th’danger.”
“Nope.” You say, trying not to let his words affect you. “We’re going home now, okay?”
“Okayyyy.” He whines, dragging out the word as he says it. “But only—only cause you said so.”
“Good.” You wrap an arm around Kazuha, right under his shoulder as you help him stand. You leave him for a bit, turning around to pick up the blanket and his bag. “Kazuha!” You call, and he’s instantly behind you. His arms wrap around your waist, pushing his face into your neck.
“Hm?” He coos. “D’ya need something?”
The warmth of Kazuha’s breath fans over the skin of your neck, goosebumps rising lowly. “N-Need you to carry your stuff.” You mumble. Your hands remove Kazuha’s from your waist, shifting to grab his wrist as you gently drag him off you. “Let’s go home now.”
Carefully, you take Kazuha home, not really minding his drunk ramblings. He goes on and on about the sunset, about how he’d stare into your eyes and giggle while he holds your hand and the sun sets.
It is endearing seeing him drunk out of his mind and yet still so lovey-dovey.
It only takes the two of you a fifteen-minute walk to reach your home and you’re quick to open the door and let Kazuha in, the two of you dropping your stuff as you help him up the stairs, your arm wrapped snugly around his waist. He slurs your name again, his pretty red eyes meeting yours. “C-Can we cuddle…?” He whines and you instantly turn your head, wanting to hide the warmth on your cheeks.
“I…” You whisper. “You’re drunk. Let’s just get you in bed first.”
“Noo!” Kazuha cries, planting his feet on the ground, stopping you. “Y’always make me wait! Made me wait for our date, now you're still makin’ me wait when I jus’ want cuddles!”
“Kazuha, really, maybe we should—” You try to protest, only to be interrupted.
“Please,” Kazuha whines pitifully, “Jus’ for a bit.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose, letting out a deep exhale. “You’re still drunk,” you start, “but fine. I guess some cuddles won’t hurt.”
Kazuha grins happily, snaking his arms around you, just under your arms as he lifts you into the air. “You’re th’best!” He slurs. “Come, cuddles time.” With that, he’s lifting you up and carrying you over into his bedroom.
He tosses you gently onto the bed and you land with a quiet: “Oof!” Before you feel the bed dip as Kazuha joins you. His arms find their familiar place around you and his nore presses into the back of your head as he twists your body into a spooning position with his. One of Kazuha’s legs is haphazardly thrown over yours, and you feel completely engulfed in, well, Kazuha.
“You’re so handsome.” Kazuha whispers into your hair. “My handsome boy.” He presses a kiss to the back of your head, and you have to remind yourself that Kazuha is drunk. He won’t remember any of this, nor will he ever act like this again.
Still, you end up leaning into the touch, falling asleep slowly, basking in Kazuha’s comforting warmth and love.
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When you wake up, Kazuha’s body is tangled with yours. His head is on your chest and his arms are wound tightly around your waist. One of his legs is positioned between yours, his knee pressing against you.
You tug him closer, enjoying the warmth of his body against yours. Kazuha’s head dips between your shoulder and your neck, nuzzling into the spot. You can feel the small puffs of air his lips let out against your skin as he breathes, matching the pattern of your heartbeat as he does.
You grin, pulling yourself to sit up—only to be yanked completely down by Kazuha. “Don’ move, please.” He whispers. “Need t’feel ya.”
“Kazuha.” You complain. “You’re not even drunk anymore—”
“No.” Kazuha murmurs. “Need to feel you.” As the words leave his lips, he shifts his body, pressing his hips flush against your ass. 
Something firm pokes into you from behind and—
Oh.
That’s what he meant by feel you.
Kazuha’s hips start a steady grind against you, pushing his erection into your ass as he murmurs breathless nothings into your ear. A desperate whine slips from his lips as he slowly moves his hands from around you to on you, roaming your chest and up your neck.
“Need you.” Kauzha murmurs slowly. “Need you so bad.”
“I know.” You say, turning onto your side to face Kazuha.
He smiles at you, bringing a hand to cup your cheek. “Please let me have you.” He whines.
You smile, leaning into his touch and pressing a soft kiss to his nose. “Of course, you can have me. I’ve been all yours from the start.”
Kazuha’s lips press against yours as he gently pushes you to lie on your back against the bed. His hands trace your sides, going from your neck to your hips as he pulls your pants down. He releases you from his kiss, the both of you gasping for air as he yanks down your boxers with impressive speed.
A soft whine slips from your throat, needily grinding your hips into the air. “Kazuha…” You moan, needing his touch desperatley. “C-Can you just—”
“I know.” He coos, trailing his hand to your hard cock. “I know, pretty boy, but I jus’ wanna take my time with you, ‘kay?”
You hesitantly nod, bringing your hand to thread through Kazuha’s hair as he peppers an assortment of kisses all over your cheeks. His hand starts a slow rhythm, gliding up and down the shaft of your cock slowly.
His grip is teasing, the way he squeezes up as he reaches your tip, dragging the pad of his thumb down your dick as he does. Kazuha’s fist moves quicker, watching as your eyes scrunch up in pure ecstasy from his ministrations. “That’s it.” He murmurs encouragingly. “C’mon, I know you’re close…”
A gasp leaves your lips as Kazuha drags his thumb over your slit, rolling it and smearing your precum everywhere, watching with nothing but a pleased smile as your hips frantically twitch in his hold. He smiles, pressing a kiss to your neck—right bellow your ear before giving the spot a teasing lick.
Kazuha’s hands work at your dick again and again, sliding with a steady rhythm up and down until your brain feels muddled and hazy. You grip at his wrist, not knowing if you want him to stop or keep going.
“K-Kazuha,” you whine, “please.”
A soft laugh leaves his lips and he once again kisses your neck. “Shh.” He murmurs. “Be patient, my dear.” With that, he’s pressing a harsh bite into your supple skin, letting his teeth graze over before digging them into you. A loud moan slips from your lips, your dick twitching over and over until your eyes are squeezing shut and thick ropes of milky white shoot from your tip all over your tummy and Kazuha’s hand.
“O-Oh.” You manage to squeak out. “You’re good at this.”
Kazuha smiles, helping the both of you sit up—with you in between his knees with his erection still pressed into the curve of your ass. He rolls you over, bringing your hips ontop of his as he pulls his leaking cock out of his pants, watching intently as you practically drool at the sight.
“Ride me, please.” Kazuha whispers, his desperation clear in his tone. You wrap a hand around his dick, rolling the pad of your thumb against his tip before lifting your hips. You line him up quickly, feeling the head of his cock push against your hole. Your mouth drops open, a low whine leaving your lips.
Slowly, slowly, very slowly, you sink down on his cock, taking him all the way in. You’re about halfway in—from what little you can tell—when Kazuha grabs your hips. His eyes are teary, staring into yours as he grabs the fat of your ass, and pulls you down.
A loud moan slips freely from your lips and you collapse onto Kazuha, the both of you panting heavily.
“A-Archons.” He whispers, his fingers rubbing smooth circles over your hips. “You’re so tight, angel.”
Angel.
He called you angel.
You bury your face into Kazuha’s neck, taking in his scent as you breathe. “Kazu…” You whine. “Need you so bad.”
“I know, pretty.” He whispers. His grip on your hips tightens as you lift your head off him and look into his eyes. His deep, red eyes. “C’mon. I’ll help you, ‘kay?” He smiles, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips before leading you to sit up above him. His finger taps against your waist before he starts. “Lift your hips f’me.” Kazuha instructs and you comply quickly, lifting your hips before dropping back down.
As soon as you drop down, Kazuha’s tip knocks against your prostate harshly and you cry out, your hands barely managing to find purchase against his shoulders. “Good boy.” Kazuha whispers sweetly, running his hands over your chest. “Jus’ like that…” He murmurs. “Think you can keep going?” You nod eagerly, lifting your hips again only to drop down.
Your thighs shake but you don’t care! Not when it feels so good to be bouncing on Kazuha’s dick like this. Not when he hits all those good spots that make you see stars as your eyes roll back.
“Kazuha.” You moan out, rocking your hips tirelessly up and down his dig. You can feel the drag against every vein against your walls, the way he nudges just right against your prostate. Your eyes roll back as your dick twitches against your tummy, drooling pre uselessly as you ride Kazuha up and down, over and over again.
“T-That’s it, pretty.” He whispers. Kazuha’s hands come to grip your ass again, picking up the pace for you as he starts to buck his hips up and into your awaiting hole. “I—holy shit—I’m close.” He whimpers, and you swear there’ll be bruises from how tight he grips your waist. “Need to cum—” He whines, his eyes squeezing shut.
You nod your head eagerly your ass squeezing so tightly around him as he picks up the pace, fucking into you harder. You need to feel him, feel him shoot his load into you. You need it, need Kazuha, need every part of him.
Every time he thrusts, you feel yourself get closer and closer to that sweet release the both of you seek. “Kazu…” You moan out. “Close, close—need you t’k-keep goin’”
“I know.” He whimpers. “I know, ‘m not stopping.” Your eyes rolled back, the familiar warmth building in the pit of your tummy. The way Kazuha’s hands trailed over your thighs—everything he did was begging your body to surrender to the familiar pleasure.
“A-At the same time.” You plead, gripping onto Kazuha’s arm. He only nod, his eyes squeezing shut.
You clench around him and Kazuha throws his head back against the pillows as he buries his dick into you, his hips meeting yours in one final, harsh thrust. He pulls your body close, his arms wrapping tightly around you as he whispers sweet nothings into you.
You feel him cum, a thick load going right into you. You whine, tightening so sweetly around him as your own orgasm hit. “H-Holy…” You whimper, not hvaing the energy to finish your sentence. Your dick twitches between the two of you and you cum. Hard.
Kazuha’s grip around you tightens as he doesn’t even bother to pull out. He grabs the blanket, bringing it over the two of you as he nuzzles your face into his neck, your body still twitching.
Archons. You think, watching Kazuha’s eyes close gently. The sunlight falls onto his face, like a golden halo around his perfect features. How long has it been with him? A week?
Only a week, and you’d managed to fall in love.
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𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @helloanime @kiekole (send ask without anon to be added)
© KISSENTURINE. do not translate, plagiarize, edit, or repost
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bluecollarmcandtf · 4 months
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Stealing 'em off the Jobsite
You're fed up! Those goddamn construction workers have been across the street for weeks now, and they haven't erected anything (aside from the pole in your pants). Your eyes have studied the collection of sweaty bodies each day, always sad when they pack up and leave.
It's determined. Tonight, things will change. Tonight, they'll be coming home with you...
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All it takes is a glance at your newly acquired, hypnotic pocket watch: a family heirloom.
Your grandfather probably didn't think you'd be using his most powerful artifact for this, but he's not here to witness the control you exert over the crew. They may laugh at first, but their eyes quickly glaze over the second they actually look at the thing swinging overhead. Their grins falter as the tendons in their face slacken. They're relaxing, just like you commanded them to.
Suddenly, those big muscular men don't seem so cocky and masculine. Their typical swagger is replaced by something else; something more subdued, more bovine, dumb.
You did that to them. You caught them right before they left the job site and flashed that magical pocket watch in their faces. Now they all stand before you like a herd of dumb work animals. It's an unbelievable site: grown men that are reduced to loyal dogs, patiently awaiting the commands of their master. Who are you to keep them waiting?
You order them to follow...
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They're good at following the instruction, even if it's just a simple one. The construction workers fumble down the street behind you, grunting and pushing their way past each other like a bunch of braindead zombies. You know they're tired. The sweat of a long day is soaking through most of their clothes, but you rather enjoy knowing how weak their big arms and meaty pecs have become.
Normally, men like this are rowdy and obnoxious, but right now their jaws only hang stupidly. The occasional moan can be heard deep in their throats, but more often comes the unmistakeable sound of gas from their rears. After all, you did tell them to relax, and that command seems to have loosened up their insides as well. More than a few wet farts can be heard in the crowd, but none of them react. Some of the noises are gross enough to suggest they've even shit themselves, not that filling their pants with crap will stop them from mindlessly following you home.
It's almost comical to see how oblivious they've become, but that blank look on their face is getting old. Their heavy slick bodies are hot, but so are their chauvinistic bro attitudes.
Finally at your house, you order them to grab a beer, smile, and file inside for the party...
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Watching the crew of hardened laborers snap out of the trance is eclipsed only by the dumb smile that breaks on each of their masculine faces. Just like that, they're beaming at you, treating you like their best bud and slapping you on the back. Can you remember the last time you were at a party, let alone a party full of grizzled blue-collar workers?
Per your instructions, they haul the booze and speakers down the stairs into the basement. They're only too happy to help, and they get even more excited when you tell them to.
Their eyes pop open wider. Any fatigue from the long workday is replaced with a sudden urge to chug a beer and chest bump the guy next to them. The music is turned up louder than the growing volume of the men joking, laughing, and shit-talking with their gravelly bass and baritone voices.
The testosterone is almost unbearable. You can smell the thick funk of body odor mixing in the humid air. You can even taste the salt evaporating off their skin. But, even more exciting, you can feel any inch of them you want. Diving into the bodies packed tightly together, don't hesitate to touch, sniff, and lick anything you want. The men are lost in a euphoria of moving to the music. They only grin when they find you below, slobbering over their muscle tits or fondling their swollen packages.
They sure as hell wouldn't allow this if you hadn't hypnotized them first. You made them eager to accept an intrusive finger down the back of their work pants. With a little more coaching, they've become even more comfortable around their master...
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Your wish is their command, so they relax into each other's arms when you tell them to. They've already been told to relax so much that it hardly takes any effort. Before you know it, the men's bodies are being pulled in close embraces with casual smirks. These macho builders don't mind their colleagues getting all up in their personal space, no matter how intimate it gets.
The first pair brave enough to obey seems happy they did so. The hug turns into a more aggressive groping until the larger of the two rips off his partner's ratty old tank top.
This party's starting to look more like an orgy...
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The men are happy with this new direction, mostly because you told them to be. Some of them partner up, greedily grabbing their closest bro at work. It's hard to imagine these guys were ever a platonic, straight work crew.
Some of them probably would've gone home to their families tonight, but these fathers and husbands are yours at the moment. You'll let their wives fuss over tucking the kids in. If you can take away all cares from these men with one simple glance at a pocket watch, then why should you care about their families.
All you need to worry about, is choosing which filthy laborer to break in first...
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The Foreman. He's on the far end of the basement, but the boys obediently squeeze their beefy bodies together to give you a path.
He might be the big boss on the job site, but the handsome brute drops to his knees with one word from his master. That dopey smile on his face says just how much this bitch wants to please you, and his workers couldn't agree more. Noticing your lust for their boss, they start egging him on, telling him to be a good boy for the master, encouraging him to be the best slut you've ever had.
You command the Foreman to open his mouth. He does so gleefully and accepts your cock surprisingly well. You can feel how relaxed his throat has become.
With that, the orgy of construction workers is officially kicked off! Your commands begin simple enough, telling who to bend over and who to ram it in, but they become more involved as you gain confidence. You tell the men to moan like two-cent whores, and the whole room echoes with deep manly growls. At one point, you instruct everyone to form a line and jerk off onto the Foreman's face, leaving it smothered with the cum of thirty men. Later, you order them all to lower their pants and touch their toes so you can find the hottest ass to peg. Hours go by as you test the limits of your control over these men.
Eventually, around four in the morning, you are drunk, tired, and sore in the balls. Three of the strongest men are still up to massage your shoulders and each foot, but the rest lay on the concrete floor, using each other's bodies as pillows. You fall asleep to the sound of gruff laborers randomly muttering compliments or praise to you, their master.
Just like you told them...
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You wake up, and they're still taking turns to commend you. The three blokes massaging you seem ready to collapse from the fatigue.
With a simple order, everyone stops.
You leave them kneeling in the basement, packed together as efficiently as possible. It'd be nice to keep using them, but you have to go upstairs and heal from the hangover.
Before you flip the light off, you take one more look. The construction workers seem totally oblivious to the fact that you're leaving them down there to wait on their knees in the dark. From the looks on their faces, this would seem completely normal to them. Chuckling, you slip the door shut and move on with the day.
Who knows when you'll flip that light switch back on next? Until then, they'll be patiently kneeling in the dark, listening to the sound of thirty bodies breathing around them.
So, what are you gonna do with them? Return them to their old lives of physical labor and unchecked masculinity? Their wives and kids would probably thank you for that. Or maybe you'll have them cut off whatever friends or family they had before? Turn them into true workslaves that are only interested in bringing you the checks they suffer for? That would definitely be a rewarding financial endeavor. For now you'll just leave them to wait in your basement.
After all, you stole them fair and square...
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wannabespiderman · 8 months
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Man vs machine
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Hello! This is my first fanfic written in English so I'm slightly nervous to post this but I couldn't get this idea out of my head so... I hope you enjoy :)
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Just an old man confused about modern technology.
.
.
.
You were walking past the living room door when a discontented grunt caught your attention. You took two steps back to crane your neck past the half-closed door. Bucky was sitting on the sofa, leaning over the living room table, which looked like a toddler’s table compared to him, his face illuminated by the bright screen of his new laptop that you’ve bought him not too long ago. His eyebrows were tightly knit together when he mumbled a quiet curse. You turned around, a curious expression on your face as you walked through the door.
"You okay, baby?" you asked and promptly sat down next to him. Bucky gave you an inscrutable look before turning his eyes back to the screen. “Where the hell do I find my emails?” he asked in frustration. A sudden laugh escaped you. You should have realized that a 106 year old man who had little to do with electronics would have some trouble with a laptop. Bucky gave you a displeased look with a slight, unconcious pout appearing on his face. “Click on the internet icon.” You spoke softly, willing to help. Bucky’s brow furrowed. “I don’t need the internet, I need my emails.” You stayed silent for a moment, slightly baffled by his words. Just last week you took the effort to set up a Google account with him and you were pretty sure he had paid attention then. “Bucky.” You said an amused huff escaping you. “Your e-mail is connected to the Internet. Just click on the icon.” Bucky clicked his tongue in annoyance to cover his slight embarrassment and went back to staring at the desktop. He was definitely taking his time, and at one point you doubted he knew what an icon was. “Need any help?” you asked as kindly as you could, though the sight of Bucky squinting his eyes like a real old man made your voice sound rather amused. With an exhausted sigh, Bucky leaned back against the seat back and rubbed his face, his shoulders visibly slumping. “You do it.”
You snort, but immediately apologize after he gives you an exceptionally grumpy look. “You can do it.” You said encouragingly, giving him a small smile. Bucky rolled his eyes, but relented and bent over the laptop again. You shuffled closer to it so you could see the screen properly, and the little orange and blue Firefox icon literally jumped out at you. You pointed your finger at it and looked at it again. “Just click on this one.”
You tried to be patient with him, really, and actually he did exactly what you said, but you couldn’t hold back the little sigh that left your mouth as he moved the cursor over the Firefox icon and clicked. Once. “Okay.” You mumbled, rubbing your eye. Apparently, you needed to be more specific. "This time you click twice." Another brief but piercing look from Bucky before he actually double-clicked and the browser opened. You sent a quick thank you to the heavens before instructing him to type the url into the search tab and cringed silently when he started typing with both of his pointer fingers. Right this second you decided to teach him how to properly type with all ten of his fingers later. A few more instructions later, probably a little more than usually necessary, he reached the Google log-in site.
“I assume you can handle the rest?” It was supposed to be a statement but your voice shifted into a question at the end.
He hummed quietly in affirmation, though his brow was still furrowed as if this whole thing was incredibly complicated which, to be honest… it probably was for him. You pressed your lips together, a slight sting of guilt coursing through you, your previous amusement and frustration about his hardship completely vanishing. One second you were quietly sat next to him and the other you had your arms wrapped around his bicep and your head leaning on his shoulder. “I’m sorry about laughing earlier.” You whispered, almost too quiet for him to understand if he weren’t a Super-Soldier and had enhanced hearing. “I know it’s new for you.” Bucky tried to shrug it off but you saw how his eyes softened when he tilted his head to look down at you. A sudden, quiet chuckle escaped him, making you quirk an eyebrow in curiosity.
“You’d think, as a Cyborg, I’d be better at this.”
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buckevantommy · 4 months
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gimme a crack fic where they accidentally(?) kill gerrard and have to cover it up. like. everyone is sick of the guy obvs but they've tried removing him as captain with no luck so they're intent on making his life hell while he's around - laxatives in his coffee, only having vegan food in the kitchen, etc. type of stuff. but then they find gerrard dead and everyone is like: ok which one of you finally killed the guy?? and we get flashbacks of everyone doing something that indavertantly led to gerrard's death; i don't know what specifically but some of it is probably illegal or at least against firehouse policy - but it was for personal reasons or for a call, nothing to do with gerrard - and other stuff was just completely unwitting happenstance. and everyone wonders if what they did was the thing that killed him, and they're piecing it all together and realising: oh shit did we all kill him?? a comedy of errors. and it looks bad. i mean, objectively it could be seen as an accident but if someone were to look close enough it looks like a carefully planned murder made to look like an accident and they're all complicit. and i want the folks outside the firehouse to be a mix of clueless then clued-in then helping run interference like: gimme maddie diverting calls, karen bringing her expertise and self to the table somehow, tommy knows his engines, and ofc there's athena who has no qualms covering shit up to protect her firefam. it's a team effort all around and there are numerous close calls - maybe they even moved his body from the firehouse to a construction site or something, everyone bickering as they try to figure out the best way to do it, and at one point they put him down and he just- rolls away down a hill or something and they have to scurry after his body. gimme comedy, i want the crack but treated semi serioiusly. and then when all is said and done and the death is ruled an accident and bobby gets reinstated as captain, right at the end something surfaces that was forgotten about like maybe ravi (who was absent for the whole thing) finds a severed finger under the engine in the firehouse and is like: umm, guys? and it's gerrard's finger of course and it's just deer-in-headlights looks all round and someone chimes in with: that's a funny story, actually..
and bonus: we get ravi after storytime be like: huh. yknow i would've thought the rat poison (or whathaveyou) i put in his coffee woulda done the trick. and everyone has this realisation of: OH it was RAVI. anyway it's a happy ending and ravi drops the finger in the trash as they all head out when the alarm sounds.
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pedrospatch · 2 years
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to do the right thing l part iii
Post Outbreak!Joel Miller x Pregnant! Female Reader
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series masterlist
summary: You go into labor earlier than expected in the QZ; Joel and Tess help you deliver the baby; after giving birth, you and Joel follow through with a heartbreaking decision.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. BOSTON QZ ERA. ((TW)) PREGNANCY, mentions and references to adoption. mentions of dead bodies, child death (not what you think), descriptions of childbirth. angst. soft, protective Joel.
word count: 7.9k
a/n: Please do not hate me. That is all. (:
June, 2020
 Disposing of the infected was a shity job.
But then again, most of the civilian jobs in the Boston QZ were pretty fucking shitty.
Still. This particular one had to be the absolute shittiest of the shitty.
Having to haul dozens upon dozens of dead bodies, the accidental inhale of soot and smoke even through your makeshift mask, not to mention, the nauseating smell of burning human flesh—you’d hated getting assigned to this work detail before, but now that you were only just a few weeks shy of being nine months pregnant, it felt like actual fucking hell on earth. And, to make matters even worse, Joel had been asked by one of the officials to head over to a different site and work a different job at the very last minute. He wasn’t by your side to lend you a hand like he usually did. Before being forced by authorities to leave the site, Joel instructed you to find a familiar face and do whatever you could do to get someone to help you when you needed it.
Luckily, on the other side of the open fire pit, you’d spotted Kevin. A younger man in his early twenties, you knew Kevin was something of an avid pill popper and one of Joel’s secret regulars. In exchange for a couple of oxycodone pills that you produced from the pockets of Joel’s jacket you were wearing, he had agreed to help you haul the heavier bodies and toss them in the fire pit.
“You know, you used to be real strong,” Kevin mused out loud as he took the shoulders of a heftier male body. Through a labored grunt, he continued, “You never needed anybody's help.”
You narrowed your eyes at him as you took the lower half of the body into your arms, taking subtle care not to strain yourself to the point of hurting yourself—or the baby. “Shut up and move, Kevin.”
“I’m just saying.”
“Seriously, Kevin,” You managed to say to him through gritted teeth as you helped him carry the body. “I’ll throw in another fucking pill if you just shut the fuck up, how about that?”
“Never used to be so cranky, either. Jesus, Miller’s really rubbing off on you, isn’t he?”
Ignoring him, you inhaled a deep breath, exhaling it as you two lifted the body and flung it into the pit. As you turned back towards the canopied pickup truck for the next one, your eyes fell on the tiniest little body that you had ever seen and you simply froze, a chill running up the length of your spine.
While it wasn’t the first time that you’d ever had to dump the body of an infected child, this one had to be the smallest—the youngest. Though his head had been covered with a brown, burlap sack just like the rest of the bodies, anyone with two fucking eyes and half of one brain cell could guess that he was, at most, around the age of a toddler.
“Jesus,” You whispered, noticing the dirty, bloodied white bandage around his teeny little arm. That’s where he’d been infected.
Kevin’s voice came from behind you. “Oh come on, this can’t be your first time seeing a kid, right?”
Your mouth had gone as dry as sandpaper. “I—I’ve never seen one this young,” You told him, feeling your heart sink into your stomach. “He couldn’t have been older than three or something.” Unable to fathom what had to come next, you turned to Kevin and shook your head. “I’ll need you to do this one. I just can’t.”
“Sure thing, sweet cheeks.” He raised an eyebrow and looked around before lowering his voice. “Just as long as you go back home tonight and let that guarddog boyfriend of yours know how much I helped you out, you know, since he wasn’t around to do it himself.” He paused, his beady, dark little eyes twinkling in sheer delight. “Maybe a two for the price of one discount during our next business transaction would be an appropriate way for him to show me some gratitude?”
If Joel could see the smirk on Kevin’s face, he’d knock it right off with his fist.
“Greedy motherfucker, aren’t you?” You muttered under your breath, before finally nodding your head in agreement. “Fine. I’ll make sure Joel hooks it up on your next deal.” Fat chance of that happening.
Satisfied, Kevin grinned and pushed past you, picking up the child’s body.
Unable to bring yourself to watch him toss it into the roaring flames, you hurriedly walked around to the side of the pickup truck, yanking down the red bandana you used as a mask down from over your nose and mouth. Placing a hand on the side of the truck, you hunched over and closed your eyes for a brief second. “Jesus Christ,” You groaned in a whisper to yourself. “I think I’m going to be fucking sick.”
You half expected to toss your afternoon crackers right there onto the pavement in front of you. However, instead, just a split second later, you felt a sudden cramp in the middle of your pelvis—subtle, but still enough to make you wince. It was immediately followed by a feeling of intense pressure between your legs. Before your mind could even wrap itself around what was happening, there was a gush between your thighs, and warm liquid started trickling down the sides of your legs.
Shit.
Terrified, you glanced down.
Though they were dirty, you could distinctly see the wet patches on your faded, dark blue jeans. “No, no, no. This can’t be happening. It’s too fucking early—”
“Hey! What the hell are you doing over here? Who the fuck said you could stop and take a break?” One of the FEDRA officials who had been assigned to stand guard at the work site came up behind you, his weapon gripped tightly in his hands. When you whirled around to face him, his eyes fell and instantly noticed your soaked jeans. A look of disgust crossed his face. “Jesus. Did you just fucking piss yourself?”
“No—” You stopped yourself, realizing this could be your ticket out of there. “Yeah,” You replied, nodding your head, causing him to let out a repulsed noise. “Sorry. I just saw a little kid, must have made me—”
He held up one of his hands, stopping you. “Save it. I don’t give two shits,” he told you with a shake of his head. “Get your ass home right now and change your clothes, then come back. Make it quick. There’s still a lot of work to be done around here. Understood?”
You nodded again. The muscles in your pelvic area tightened and the feeling drew the tiniest of sharp breaths from you—your contractions were starting. “Yeah,” You managed to say to the official, keeping a straight face. “I’ll be back as fast as I can.”
He dismissively waved you away with his weapon and then stalked off back over to his post.
Letting out a small sigh of relief, you turned on your heel and started to make your way back to the apartment as quickly as possible.
Although the building was about a mile and a half up the road, it felt like you were trekking your way across the fucking country. You felt two more contractions along the way, and while their intensity was still pretty low in such an early stage of your labor, they still hurt like hell. They started around your lower back and gradually moved around to the front of your pelvis. You tried to push past the discomfort in order to get home as quick as possible, but every now and again, you found yourself having to stop in the middle of the sidewalk for just a brief second or two, only long enough to recollect and remind yourself that you needed to get a goddamn grip before someone noticed your strange behavior. Once the building finally came into your view, all you could do was silently pray that by some fucking miracle, Joel would be up there in that apartment, home from work detail.
Your prayer went unanswered.
When you opened the door to your quarters and walked inside, you’d found Tess home by herself. She was sitting at the table, sipping on a glass of whiskey and mindlessly flipping through a decades old newspaper.
“Tess,” You said her name, causing her to look up. “Where’s Joel?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“It’s fucking happening.”
Tess stared at you, her eyes widening slightly. “Wait, what?”
“The baby’s coming,” You informed her, pointing down to your damp jeans. Though you were panicking on the inside, you tried your best to remain as calm as humanly possible. “Where the fuck is Joel?”
Tess tossed aside her newspaper and stood up from the table. “I told you, I don’t know. I know he was reassigned but I’m not sure where—he sure as hell wasn’t with me.” She walked over to you, taking you by the elbow. She pulled you over towards the couch and helped you sit down. “I thought you said it would be at least a few more weeks before the baby came.”
You couldn’t help but shoot her an annoyed look. “Well, he’s coming now, Tess. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”
“How long ago did it start?”
“About half an hour ago, maybe. I was at the pits and my water broke after I saw—” You trailed off, deciding the details of what you had seen back at the work site weren’t necessary to disclose to her. “I’ve had a couple of contractions, but they’re pretty far apart.”
“It could be several hours before the baby comes, but there’s still no fucking way that we’ll be able to get you over to Bill and Frank’s in time.” Tess chewed anxiously on her bottom lip as she wracked her brain for any other possible options—it took her mere seconds to realize that there weren’t any other options. “You’re going to have to give birth here.”
“Fantastic,” You deadpanned, leaning back into the couch.
“Okay, here’s the deal. You stay put and I’m going to go out and find Joel. I know there’s a couple of places where he might have been assigned and if I’m right, I can be back with him quickly.” Tess pulled off her watch from her wrist. It was old and cracked, but otherwise, it still worked fine. “I need you to time your contractions. Try and be as accurate as possible.” She then reached into the back pocket of her jeans, producing a red handkerchief.  She handed it to you along with the watch. “Listen. I know it’s going to hurt like hell, but you need to be as quiet as possible. Last thing we need is for someone to hear you and come running in here, especially while I’m gone. If you need to, you bite down on this to keep quiet, alright?”
You swallowed harshly, taking both of the items with nearly trembling fingers. “Alright.”
“Don’t worry. I’m going to find Joel and we’ll be back,” she promised you. “You stay right here, okay?”
“Because I’m such a fucking flight risk right now?”
“Even during labor, you’re still a fucking smartass, huh?” Tess rolled her eyes and reached for her jacket. 
You watched her as she readied herself to take off. “Tess?”
“Yeah?”
“Hurry. Please.”
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“Fuck,” You hissed, both of your hands planted on your lower back as you paced back and forth in the kitchen, trying your best to breathe your way through another contraction.
 It had been over an hour and a half and Tess still hadn’t returned with Joel.
Your labor was progressing a lot quicker than you’d anticipated and while it could still be at least a couple more hours before the baby was born, you were still terrified at the mere thought of having to deliver him alone. You needed Joel—you didn’t want to have to do this without him.
“Jesus, fuck,” You cursed through clenched teeth. The waves of pain that were coming at you were almost enough to physically knock you off of your feet and right onto your ass. Tess had been smart to give you her handkerchief. During one particularly painful contraction, you’d shoved it into your mouth, muffling your cries of agony.
Another hour had passed and you were genuinely starting to believe that you were indeed going to have to give birth to the baby all alone in that apartment. “Where the fuck are you guys?” You mumbled to yourself. Perhaps something had happened to them—Joel and Tess had spent ample amounts of time in FEDRA lockup for the stunts that they pulled and it wouldn’t surprise you if they had gone and done something stupid, putting themselves behind bars for the night.
In an attempt to keep your mind from continuously wandering to worst case scenarios, you walked over to the kitchen sink and quickly filled up a large, chipped porcelain bowl with water. You rummaged around for the cleanest washcloth that you could find and then picked up the bowl in your hands, taking care not to spill as you hastily made your way around the single wall that divided the kitchen from the bedroom. You placed the bowl of water on top of the old, cherrywood dresser that separated yours and Joel’s bed from Tess’s bed and immediately started peeling off your dirty clothes. Wanting to hurry before another contraction came along, you dipped the cloth into the water and started running it all over your body, wiping away any soot and dirt that you’d brought home from the work site.
After you had finished cleaning yourself off as best as you possibly could under the circumstances, you searched through the drawers and grabbed one of Joel’s cleaner t-shirts, tugging it over your head. Even with the size of your swollen midsection, his shirt still fit you loosely enough, the hem of it falling to the top of your thighs. You’d finished just in time—another contraction starting coming on and you dropped down onto the bed, gripping the edge of the mattress as you hunched over in a world of hurt. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
As it subsided, the sound of the front door opening caused your head to snap up and your heart to skip a beat. Had you been too loud? Or perhaps a neighbor had walked by and heard you?
“Baby?” Joel’s deep voice filled the small apartment. When he appeared around the wall and saw you, a look of utter relief crossed his face and he rushed over to you, Tess following behind him. He crouched down in front of you, both of his hands flying up to the sides of your face. “M’sorry darlin’, I got here as fast I could—”
Though you could have nearly cried from happiness that he was right there in front of you, you found yourself snapping at him, “What took you so fucking long? It’s been fucking hours!”
Tess jumped to Joel’s defense. “I’m sorry, it’s on me! It’s my fault. It took me forever just to fucking find his ass and then we had to find a way to sneak him away from the work site without anyone noticing,” she explained, holding her hands up. “Not to mention, he was on the other end of the fucking QZ. We got here as fast as we could—how far apart are they coming?”
You winced. The truth was, you’d been so busy trying to get through the contractions that you hadn’t been timing them at all. “About that.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I gave you one fucking job—”
“Look, they’re still decently far apart by a few minutes.” You placed a hand on your stomach, suddenly admitting, “But I do feel the urge to push already.”
Joel’s hands slowly dropped from your face and he glanced over his shoulder and up at Tess, looking confused. “Think it’s time?”
She shook her head. “I know it’s going to feel like you need to push as you get closer, but don’t,” she warned you, firmly. “Not yet. They need to come closer together, about a minute to thirty seconds apart. If you start to push too early, you could hurt the baby. Or tear yourself apart.” Tess took off her jacket, tossing it on a nearby chair. “Joel, keep her as comfortable as you can. I’m going to start gathering some supplies. She may not be ready to push now, but I’m thinking within the hour, it’ll be time.”
“Within the hour?” You nearly squeaked.
Joel turned back to you and cupped your face again. The familiarity of his rough, calloused hands on your skin brought some calmness, not enough to completely take your fears away, but just enough that you were able to stay somewhat level headed, even through every single emotion that you were feeling. “Baby, I know you're scared,” he said, his thumb grazing against your cheek. “But I promise you, everythin’ is gonna be just fine, alright? Look at me, right here, look at me,” he urged as he held your face firmly in his hands, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You’re gonna be fine. I won’t let anythin’ happen to you.”
“Joel, it’s childbirth,” You reminded him, smiling wearily. “Don’t make a promise you don’t know if you can actually keep.”
Though he knew deep down inside that you had a point, he repeated himself. “I won’t let anythin’ happen to you. Okay?”
You offered him a small, meek nod. “Okay.”
Joel lifted himself, pressing his lips gently to yours. He pulled away, murmuring against your lips, “That’s my girl.”
The hour that followed had been nothing short of horrific—the pain had become almost unbearable by this point. There wasn’t a single inch of your entire body that wasn’t drenched, soaked in perspiration. Your hair was an absolute mess, plastered to your forehead and to the sides of your face. Tess sat on her bed, waiting on standby for when it was time to deliver. Meanwhile, Joel, could only hold your hand in his and watch helplessly as you tried not to cry out too loudly.
“Joel,” You nearly pleaded his name, as if pleading for him to take his gun and put you out of your misery.
“I know, baby, I know,” he murmured soothingly, squeezing your hand in both of his. “I know it hurts.”
“What if I can’t do this?”
“Sorry, sweet darlin’ but you don’t have much of a choice,” he reminded you. He looked and sounded so fucking tired, so fucking exhausted—and he was. He was exhausted from having to sit there and witness you hurt while there wasn’t a goddamn thing he could do about it.
Once the contractions started coming in at less than a minute apart, Tess checked you. “I can feel the head. It’s time to start pushing,” she announced. Rolling up the sleeves of her shirt up to her elbows, she started giving you instructions. “You’re going to bear all the way down into your bottom as hard as you can. We’ll do ten second counts with short, quick rests in between each push until he comes out. Alright?”
You just about panicked. “Joel—”
“M’right here,” he quickly assured you. “Not goin’ anywhere.”
During the process, Joel had decided to sit behind you, his long legs on either side of you as he held you up at just a couple degrees shy of a ninety degree angle. Tess kneeled on the mattress between your legs, holding your knees apart as she counted through each push out loud for you.
You sank your front teeth hard into your bottom lip, the coppery taste of blood filling your mouth as you tried your hardest from screaming out.
“One, two, three, four—” Tess counted the numbers aloud until she reached the number ten. She watched you as you released a breath, and tapped your knee gently. “Come on, we’re almost there. He’s right there, you’re so fucking close. The harder you push, the quicker this will all be over. So give me one more big, strong push, alright?”
Joel squeezed your shoulders, his lips at your ear as he whispered to you over and over again, “C’mon baby, we’re almost there. It’s almost over.”
You were completely spent, exhausted both physically and mentally beyond what mere words could even explain. Close or not, you simply didn’t have it in you to keep going.
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” You moaned, shaking your head as you slumped back against his chest, your head falling into his shoulder. Your body felt like it was just moments away from giving out on you. “I can’t do it, Joel. I just can’t fucking do this—”
“You can and you fucking will,” Tess all but snapped at you, forcing your knees further apart. “Come on, all I need is one more push. Just one fucking more.”
“But—”
“Baby, please,” Joel begged into your neck. “You have to do this.”
You whimpered. They were right—you didn’t have a choice.
“Okay. One more.” You gave a small, weak nod of your head.
Joel helped you sit back up into the previous position, using his body to help support yours. He kissed the back of your head, his hands on your shoulders again. “Good girl,” he praised, bracing himself to help you through the tail end of the delivery.
“Alright, let’s do this.” Tess positioned herself, her hands ready to receive the baby once he was born. “On the count of three. One, two, three—and push. Come on, that’s it. Come on.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you followed her encouraging words, bearing down as hard as you could muster while Joel counted you through that last strenuous push. “Baby’s out!” Tess nearly cried, and you quickly opened your eyes to see her holding the baby in her arms. 
“Is he okay?” You panted, your chest heaving as you fought to catch your breath. Only mere seconds had passed, but already you found yourself in a state of anxiety over the fact that the baby hadn’t made a single sound yet. “He hasn’t cried—why hasn’t he cried?”
“She,” Tess corrected you, her eyes fixed on the newborn as she worked to clean her off with a damp washcloth. She rubbed her chest in quick, firm circles in an attempt to get her to take her first breath.
Your heart skipped a beat—you’d had a girl?
Behind you, Joel inhaled sharply, his body stiffening.
You watched in concern, your lips parted slightly at the sight before you. Not having the proper tools to clear the child’s airway, Tess tried everything and anything that she could think of to help the baby breathe. As the seconds turned into a minute, and then into two, your heart had all but climbed its way up your throat—never had you heard a silence so deafening.
“Tess,” Joel said her name, his tone dangerously low.
“Fuck Joel, I’m trying here!” Tess snapped at him. She let out a small, frustrated sigh and then turned the baby over onto her forearm. She started patting the infant’s back with her opposite hand. “Come on, sweetheart. Come on, you’re alright. Please breathe. Please—”
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the baby sputtered and let out a wet cough before a small, quick cry filled the entire apartment. 
“Fuck,” You breathed out in complete and utter relief. You sagged back against Joel, who’d also released the breath he’d been holding.
“Shh,” Tess soothed her, flipping the baby back over and bouncing her in her arms in an attempt to quiet her.  
Joel carefully climbed out from behind you, helping you to lean back, up against the wall. “You alright?”
“Better now that I know she’s okay.”
“She’s small, definitely at least a couple of weeks premature, but she looks healthy,” Tess observed. She single handedly clamped the cord, cutting it with a pair of sharp shears before she finished cleaning her off. She reached for the flannel throw blanket next to her, however upon picking it up, she had realized it wasn’t a blanket at all. It was Joel’s flannel jacket, the very same one that you’d worn for most of your pregnancy. But it had been washed the day before and it would do for the time being. Tess wrapped the baby in the jacket before easing her into your arms. Knowing that you’d never held a baby before, Tess reached out and maneuvered your arms, making sure that you were holding her properly, supporting her head and neck. “That’s it. There you go.”
Your heart swelled to twice its normal size inside of your chest and an inexplicable warmth radiated throughout every fiber of your being the moment you laid your eyes on her sweet, tiny little face. “Hi, there,” You cooed gently to her. “Welcome to the shitshow.”
Tess chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest. “Son of a bitch. We fucking did it.”
“What the hell do you mean we?” You rolled your eyes in a joking manner. The truth of the matter was that you would forever be in her debt for all that she had done to help you, not just through childbirth—through everything. 
You then glanced over at Joel, who stood silently behind her, hands planted on his hips.
He said nothing, but his dark brown eyes were glued to the newborn.
Tess cleared her throat lightly, breaking the momentary silence that had suddenly fallen over the three of you. “I’ll give you a minute to take a breather while I go clean myself up. I’ll be back to show you how to feed her.”
She excused herself, heading off towards the kitchen.
Joel shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot. “You—uh, you sure you’re alright?”
“Mhm,” You replied with a nod, unable to contain the small smile that crossed your lips as you drank in the sight of the beautiful baby girl in your arms. She had been born with a head full of dark hair—instantly, she reminded you of Joel. “She’s so little.”
Joel said nothing.
Looking up, you noticed the way his eyes took her in—the same way yours did. 
Part of you almost wanted to ask him if he wanted to hold her.
But you knew better.
“We’ll radio Bill and Frank tomorrow in the morning to let them know she’s here ,” Tess said, coming back into the room. She used a damp cloth to wipe away the blood and other fluids from her forearms. “As soon as you’re able to move, you’ll have to get her over to them.”
Your face fell slightly. “Wait, how soon are we talking?”
“Thinking maybe in a couple days—soon as you can walk.”
Your heart sank deeply into your chest.
Just a couple of days? 
That’s all you would get with her?
Noticing the crestfallen expression on your face, Joel nodded. “Tess is right,” he agreed. “We can’t hide a cryin’ baby in this apartment for too long without someone catchin’ on. The sooner we get her over to Bill and Frank’s, the better.”
You somehow managed to swallow the lump of emotion that had risen in your throat as you looked back down at her tiny face—your daughter’s tiny face.
“Think of a name for her yet?” Tess asked you, tossing her dirty cloth aside.
Joel quickly stepped in and answered for you. “Best you don’t.”
“What?” You stared at him in disbelief. Although neither of you had discussed it, you’d thought that at the very least Joel would allow you to name your child—his child.
“The less attached you are to her, the better.” His tone was short, almost curt. “Less harder it’ll be.”
Even Tess was taken by surprise. “Joel, come on. Are you fucking seri—?”
He held up a hand to stop her. Whirling around on the hell of his boot, Joel said over his shoulder as he left the room, “I’ll be outside. Need some air.”
Your lips pressed together in a thin, tight line. “I guess he’s right.”
The mattress squeaked, shifting slightly as Tess took a seat right next to you on the bed. “You know it’s going to hurt him too,” she told you, quietly. “He’ll never admit it. But when the time comes, it’ll hurt him too.”
“I know,” You whispered, grazing the baby’s cheek lightly with the tip of your index finger.
“Joel loves you, you know.”
Tess’s words caught you by surprise. “Tess—don’t. You don’t need to do this.”
She laughed in spite of herself. “You know, I never thought that man could be capable of loving anyone else ever again, not in this life. Hell, I tried for fucking years just to get him to feel a fraction of what I felt for him and nothing.” Her voice became thick with the emotions that she’d undoubtedly been suppressing for the last few years. “I don’t know what is about you, what drew him to you. But he does love you. More than fucking anything.”
“He’ll probably never admit that either.”
Tess smiled sadly. “I know.”
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The five hour trip on foot from the Boston QZ to Lincoln was one that you had gotten used to over the last couple of years, but this trip had been something of a struggle for you, to say the very least.
Between being only a couple of days postpartum, having to make frequent stops to feed the baby, and having her strapped tightly to your chest in a makeshift baby carrier—which in reality was actually just a bedsheet that wrapped around your upper body—you felt quite worn out by the time you and Joel finally made it to Bill and Frank’s.
“Come in, come in,” Frank placed a hand gently on your back as he ushered you inside of the house. “How are you doing? Are you okay?” He tossed a little glare over his shoulder at Joel. “Shame on you for making her walk three days after giving birth! Surely you could have waited at least a few more days before making the trip?”
Joel let out a small, impatient huff and rolled his eyes in response.
“We didn’t wanna risk being caught with her,” You quickly explained as he led you both into the living room. “Our walls are paper thin and she cries real loud. We didn’t wanna risk having the neighbors reporting us to FEDRA.”
“She’s a crier?” Bill, who kept his distance, scoffed. “Great.”
“Oh, stop it, Bill. I’m sure she’ll be a very good baby,” Frank waved his hand dismissively at him. 
“Can you guys help me unwrap?” You asked, lightly tugging at the sheet. “This thing is so uncomfortable.”
Both Joel and Frank helped untie and remove it from around your body.
“Oh my word.” Frank’s hand flew to his mouth and tears instantly welled in his eyes as soon as saw her. “I never thought I’d see—” He trailed off, but you knew what he meant. He never thought he’d see another child ever again, much less a newborn baby. Frank knew better than to overstep or to push you too quickly, and despite his immediate urge to ask you if he could hold her already, he simply settled for lightly touching his fingertips to her tufts of soft, dark hair. “Oh, she’s so beautiful! Isn’t she beautiful, Bill?”
“Looks like an ordinary baby to me,” he grumbled, though as he eyed the child, there was a strange little glint in his eye. Bill, like Frank, also never thought that he’d ever see something like her again.
Frank sniffed, dabbing his tears away with the back of his hand. “Oh! I have some onesies from the boutique, let me grab one for you,” he stated, realizing that the baby was naked, with the exception of the improvised diaper you had her in. “She’s kind of small, even for a newborn. Do you think she came early?” He asked over his shoulder as he walked over to the other side of the room towards a pile of cardboard boxes. “I know it’s hard to tell what week you reached gestation.”
“We think so,” You said, carefully taking a seat on the couch. “She’s small, but she’s healthy. She eats well, she mostly sleeps through the night unless she wakes up hungry or needing to be changed.”
“Here.” Frank walked back over to you and handed you a cream colored onesie printed with yellow sunflowers. He also handed you a matching cloth diaper. “They’re preemie size, but I have a box of newborn sizes too if they’re too snug on her. You let me know what you think is best, alright?”
It didn’t take you very long to realize that Frank was allowing you just a taste of what it was like to properly and normally care for your baby, just like any mother would in a pre-outbreak world. 
Part of you wished that he wouldn’t bother, but you still appreciated his kindness nonetheless.
Frank laid a soft, pink blanket on the couch for you to lay her on.
As you changed her, you felt Joel watching almost intently.
Since she’d been born, he still hadn’t held her. You didn’t take offense to it, nor did it hurt your feelings that he refused to touch her, because you knew how he was feeling—what he was feeling. You would often catch him stealing long, lingering glances at her whenever he’d think you weren’t paying attention. Deep down in your heart, you knew he ached to interact with her, that he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and give into his paternal instincts. But he was simply trying to make this process as painless for himself as possible. Joel didn’t want to risk developing any kind of attachment to her. 
“Does she have a name?” Frank asked, holding his hands behind his back as he watched you button up the onesie. At this point, he was itching to hold her for the first time, but he wanted to respect what little time you had left to interact with her.
Sure, you would be able to see her every now and again, but Joel was adamant of keeping visits to a minimum.
“She doesn’t,” You replied in a soft voice. “We didn’t name her.”
Joel, who had taken a seat in the rocking chair next to the couch, raked a hand through his hair as Frank shot him glare, as if he knew whose idea it had been to not give her a name. “S’only right for you two to choose a name. We ain’t got no business givin’ her a name.”
“He’s right,” You said, before Frank could protest. “It’s best we leave that to you and Bill.”
Frank touched your shoulder. The sympathy in his eyes nearly made you burst into tears on the spot. Wanting to allow for a brief change of subject, he offered, “How about we all have a bite to eat? Hmm? Surely you must be starving after that long walk.”
You forced a small smile. Food was the last thing on your mind. “That would be nice,” you fibbed. 
For the rest of the afternoon, you refused to put the baby down.
Your arms ached from holding her for so long—but you couldn’t care less. It was one ache that you would happily deal with for the rest of your natural born life if it meant never having to let her go.
Frank had been completely understanding of your desire to keep her with you for as long as you possibly could. Being the incredibly sweet, kind soul that he was, he showed you nothing but patience and didn’t question you, nor did he push you or grill you on whether or not you had changed your mind about leaving her in their care. Bill, being Bill, had muttered a few, passive aggressive incoherencies towards you under his breath over lunch—something about how for someone who claimed they wouldn’t have a problem giving up their baby, you sure as hell seemed to have a hard time letting her out of your grasp.
However, once the late afternoon finally rolled around, you knew that the time for you to say goodbye was on the horizon. As much as you fucking wished you could, there was no changing your mind, not if you wanted your daughter to live safely, happily.
“Bill? Frank? Do you think we can have a minute with her, just the two of us?” You asked them. You had all moved back into the living room after lunch. Knowing time was running out, you hoped that you and Joel could have one last moment alone with her before it was time to leave.
“Of course.” Frank nodded and tugged on Bill’s arm. “We’ll be out in the front yard—the plants need some watering.”
You shot him a tiny, grateful smile. As they disappeared, you leaned back into the couch and made yourself comfortable with the baby.
Joel, who sat over in the rocking chair as he had earlier, pursed his lips. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” he said, shaking his head at you. “We really should just hand her over and go home.”
“It’s going to be hard no matter what, Joel. May as well enjoy her for a while longer.” You glanced down at her just as she started fussing herself awake. She looked up at you with her dark eyes. “Hello, sweet girl,” You greeted her in a soothing voice as she cooed. 
Joel watched with a heaviness in his heart as you kissed the infant’s cheek delicately. How he wished you would just fucking listen to him.
“You’re going to be safe here,” You told her, lifting your hand to her hair; the ends were beginning to curl slightly. “I know you might grow up and have questions one day, and who knows, maybe when you’re all grown up, you’ll know the truth about everything and you’ll understand why we did what we did.” You paused. “This is the right thing to do, sweet girl. It's the best thing for you. Frank is going to make a great dad, and Bill—well, Bill is Bill. But I know you’ll have him wrapped around your little finger in no time. I promise there’s a softie underneath that grumpy exterior, just have to bring it out of him, is all.” Despite it all, you couldn’t help but laugh a little. 
Joel craned his neck ever so slightly to get a better look at her. “She’s so alert,” he observed. “Y’know, for bein’ a couple days old and all.”
You glanced up at him. Somehow, you mustered up the courage to ask, “Joel? Do you want to hold her?”
Joel hesitated. But you were shocked he didn’t immediately decline.
That meant that he did.
You carefully stood up from the couch and slowly walked over to him. Giving her another kiss on the cheek, you held her out towards him.
Joel looked at her reluctantly, but then gave in and took her into his arms. He leaned his weight back into the chair and started rocking, knowing the movement would be soothing for the baby. “She’s got your nose,” he murmured, watching as the motion started luring her into another slumber.
“That head of hair is all you, though,” You told him with a tiny, sad smile. “I’m going to go get a glass of water from the kitchen. I’ll be right back.”
Moments later, when you’d returned, you stopped in your tracks out in the hallway when you heard Joel speaking. Furrowing your brows, you leaned your back against the wall and listened in to what he was saying.
“Hi babygirl,” he started, his voice low but gentle. “Everythin’ your mama just told you, well, she’s right. We’re doin’ this to keep you safe. We wanna give you a chance at a decent life. She doesn’t wanna give you up. Neither do I,” he confessed. “But we can’t—I can’t keep you safe. I can barely keep your mama safe most of the time, y’know.”
You hung your head, willing yourself to hold back the tears.
“I didn’t want you, at least not at first,” Joel continued to say, an ever so slight tremble to his voice. “Thought you were the biggest mistake we ever could’ve made. But now that you’re here and I’m holdin’ you in my arms, I realize I was wrong. I’m glad you’re here, babygirl. This world is ugly, but you remind me that there’s still beauty in it. Not a whole lot, but just enough to shine a little light in the darkness.”
Joel paused and as you peeked around into the living room, you saw him press his lips carefully to her cheek, right where you’d kissed her too. “You won’t be ours after today, but that doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day, you’re always gonna hold a place in my heart. Right next to your big sister. Alright?”
A tear slipped down your cheek, and you quickly wiped it away with the back of your free hand. As soon as you were certain that he’d said all he had needed to say, you walked into the living room and offered him a sip of your water, behaving as if you hadn’t just heard him pour his heart out to his baby daughter. Joel moved over onto the couch with you and for the next couple of hours, the two of you took turns holding her. By the time early evening arrived, you realized that you and Joel were really pushing it. And knowing Bill, you were absolutely overstaying your welcome.
“So, we just wanted to check in with you two,” Frank said tentatively, nervously wringing his hands together as walked into the room with a very unhappy Bill trailing behind him. “It’ll be getting dark soon.”
You and Joel stood from the couch; he handed the baby over to you.
Your heart lodged in your throat, you walked over to Frank and eased her into his arms. “Here you are.”
Taking a step backwards, you watched as he looked down at her, his face beaming.
“Fatherhood looks good on you,” You couldn’t help but tell him. And you meant it.
Frank was going to make the most incredible, loving father. 
“Does it?” Although he was smiling, he sounded nervous.
“You’re going to be a natural,” You touched his arm lightly. “We know she’s going to be in the best possible care.” Dropping your hand back down to your side, you glanced over at Joel, who stood there silently, his jaw clenched. “We’d better be going.”
“You know you’re more than welcome to come and see her whenever you’d like,” Frank offered. “We really wouldn’t mind that.”
“Don’t take that too literally,” Bill gruffed behind him. “The less visits, the better.”
You nodded, your voice cracking slightly as you said, “We know.”
“Let’s get a move on.” Joel nudged you lightly with his elbow. Did you just hear his voice break a little too?
After one final goodbye, about five minutes later, you and Joel found yourselves on the other side of the fence.
Joel noticed the expression on your face. He could see you crumbling right in front of his very own eyes like a pastry. He didn’t know what to say or do to make it better—hell, he knew nothing was going to make it better. He wanted so badly to reach out and put his arms around you, but he was afraid that one touch would cause you to come undone. “C’mon, we need to get movin’ before it gets too late or we’ll freeze our asses off,” he reminded you quietly. He started leading the way, but turned around when he realized you weren’t following behind him. “Baby—”
And just like that, the sob you’d been fighting finally escaped you.
“I’m sorry, Joel,” You quickly shook your head, trying desperately to stop the tears, but it was too late.
“Don’t be sorry, it’s alright—”
Before Joel could reach out for you, you sank down to your knees on the gravel. You placed your hands over your mouth, trying to muffle the sound of your cries. You knew it would be hard, but nothing could have prepared you for the god awful feeling of leaving Bill and Frank’s empty handed, without your baby daughter in your arms.
Joel sighed softly and crouched down beside you, pulling you into his arms. “Shh, baby. I know,” he tried soothing you, one hand around your shoulders and the other gingerly stroking your hair. “I know.”
Though nightfall was fast approaching, he didn’t push you. He simply held you until you eventually ran out of tears and little hiccups were all that was left. “I’m so sorry.”
“Stop fuckin’ sayin’ you’re sorry,” Joel said, squeezing your body against his to keep you warm against the chilly, evening breeze. “You have nothin’ to be sorry for, alright?”
“It hurts. I know we did the right thing, but it hurts so fucking bad.”
Joel pulled away and looked down at you. The sadness was evident in his gaze. “We did do the right thing. She’s going to be safer here than she could ever be with us in the QZ,” he reminded you, as if you didn’t already know that. “At least here, she’ll be well fed. She’ll have running water. She’ll get to enjoy fresh, clean air. She’ll get to run around the front yard and play in the grass. She won’t have to walk home from fuckin’ FEDRA school past a fire pit full of burnin’ bodies every goddamn day.”
“Maybe it’s just me being selfish, but that doesn’t make it hurt any fucking less, Joel,” You confessed, the guilt causing a fresh batch of tears to brim your eyes. “I know we’ll still get the chance to see her every now and again, but it’s not enough. It won’t ever be enough for me.”
He leaned down, leaning his forehead against yours. “I know. Won’t ever be enough for me either.”
You closed your eyes, another tear finding its way down your cheek. “How the fuck are you supposed to go on when you feel like a part of your heart is missing?”
“You just do,” Joel whispered. “You just move on. Try to, anyway.” He rose to his feet and pulled you up with him. “When I lost Sarah, I had nothing. Nobody. Tommy wasn’t someone I could count on, he was too busy thinkin’ he could save the fuckin’ world.” He chuckled bitterly. “So I carried that grief with me for years, all on my own. Like the weight of a thousand bricks strapped to my fuckin’ back.”
“Joel…” You opened your eyes, your gazes meeting together.
He lightly brushed his lips against forehead. “You ain’t alone, darlin’. You have me and I ain’t gonna let you carry this pain alone. You understand me? Never.”
“I know that,” You choked out. 
Joel pulled you against him once again, his arms wrapping themselves around you. 
“I love you.”
It was just above a whisper, barely audible but you’d heard him.
Clutching fistfuls of his jacket, you buried your face into his chest, uttering, “I love you too.”
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perotovar · 7 months
Text
baby, i'm-a want you — (ch 1) "session one"
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gif by me
pairing: joel miller/dieter bravo (just this time. main pairing is still javi/joel) rating: E (18+) mdni word count: 3.5k content: swearing, joel and tommy's southern accents being cute af, dieter being a menace, joel being awkward af (but it's cute), cringey porn dialogue, male masturbation (briefly), one (1) handjob, one (1) blowjob (it's messy), lmk if i missed anything! dividers: @saradika-graphics beta: @qveerthe0ry (ily ♥)
summary: javier peña has been doing this a long time. he's really good at his job. joel miller? not so much. he started doing this to get some extra cash to support his daughters. what happens when they're supposed to do a scene together? aka, the au where most of the ppcu boys are gay porn stars~
(read this first ->) prologue | series masterlist
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Joel never would have guessed he’d do something like this ten years ago. Hell, not even five years ago. He’s not even totally sure how he got here, if he’s honest with himself.
He just remembers an, admittedly shady, business-looking man coming up to him and shoving a business card in his face. He asked if Joel had ever slept with men before. Joel was taken aback and thought he was coming onto him in a really bizarre way. He had, but that was none of this man’s business as far as he was concerned.
“There’s no pressure, I promise. Here, my website is on the card. If you see what you like, you gimme a call, okay?” The man had winked, grabbed his coffee, and left. 
Joel was left sitting in the middle of that coffee shop stunned into silence.
Later that night, sitting in front of the laptop Sarah nearly forced on him, he clumsily typed (using only his index fingers) the name of the website from the business card into the search bar.
Love Bites
The name and the man, Max Phillips according to the card, and his invasive question should’ve told him everything he needed to know, but Joel wasn’t prepared for the absolute onslaught of nudity he was met with.
“Jesus–” Joel mumbled to himself, slamming the laptop closed. Not that that would take it away, but he could hope. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, shaking his head to himself. “The fuck you get yourself into, Miller?” He grumbled.
Slowly, and with one eye closed, he opened his laptop again. Once he got both eyes on it again, the website wasn’t… too bad. Well, it was still a porn site, but it wasn’t anything he hadn't seen before. He started looking around some more and didn’t bother turning it down. He lived alone now, both girls having moved out within the last year or so. He missed the hell out of them, and frankly, found himself bored more often than not. He and Tommy still owned Miller Contracting, but Joel stuck to the delegating and organizing part now. He had too many knee and back problems to keep up on the actual building part.
His finger rolled over to the “profiles” section of the website. He raised a brow and clicked on the trackpad hesitantly. There were several headshots of the men that made content for the website. He felt his cock twitch in his jeans and cleared his throat awkwardly, exhaling heavily. Well, it… had been a while. What could it hurt, right? 
He did have a lot of options…
Dark eyes trailing over the men on the site, he smiled softly. They all had little biographies that explained what their sexualities and preferences were. He snorted a little at seeing two different cowboys; one gay and a little older than himself, the other bisexual and perhaps around the same age. The younger cowboy had a prominent mustache and had a preference for “tying people up”. Bit on the nose in Joel’s opinion, but there was something for everyone. The older cowboy tended toward more amateur-style, “romantic” videos. Joel’s heart softened a little, but decided he wasn’t really in the mood for that sort of thing. 
In his search, he found just about everything; a messy haired, self proclaimed “adventurous” sort, a masked man that liked to roleplay, a clean cut looking man that considered himself a “romantic”. You name it, they probably had it. But his eyes landed on a particular man…
He had deep, intense eyes and a thick mustache. His hair was styled like he walked out of the 80s and he was wearing a thin gold chain. He had a bit of a Burt Reynolds thing going on, and normally that wouldn’t be something Joel was into, but this time, well… 
Joel clicked on his – Javier’s – page and started browsing the videos he had available. His bio said he was “fluid and polyamorous”, but Joel didn’t know what that meant. Wow, he was… popular. That didn’t surprise Joel at all, but his eyes landed on one of Javier’s “solo” videos. It looked like it was filmed in his apartment, but it probably wasn’t from how well lit it was. The video started off like Joel guessed all of them did; a fancy graphic with the words “Love Bites” in the center of the screen before the sound effect of someone taking a bite out of something, and a faint moan. The tips of Joel’s ears warmed, but he pressed on, watching Javier walk onto screen and sit in the middle of the couch that was in frame. 
Javier’s jeans were very tight, but maybe even moreso because of how fucking hard he looked to be. Joel swallowed a lump in his throat, his cock twitching again. Javier had an easy smirk on his handsome face, but he seemed like he didn’t have the cockiness that Joel expected a pornstar to have. The video seemed like it was personally sent to Joel and that thought made Joel’s cock stand to attention almost comically quickly. Unzipping his own jeans, he groaned at the constriction leaving, allowing him to breathe easier. He squeezed his cock and looked back at the video, Javier already getting started without him. He was stroking his own cock slowly, almost teasingly, biting a plump bottom lip. Joel moaned and shut his eyes for a quick second as he took himself in hand–
Ring, ring.
Joel groaned, squeezing his cock harder, and dug his phone out of his pocket. Tommy. He sighed and paused the video on Javier’s blissed out face and big hand wrapped around his–
Ring, ring.
“Christ, Tommy, what is it?” He grumbled, pressing the too-new-for-his-liking phone to his ear.
“Jesus, who pissed in your oatmeal this mornin’?” Tommy’s easy voice filtered in, a chuckle wrapped around his words. “And why are ya outta breath? Ya okay?”
“What–? Yeah, ‘m fine, Tommy. Why y’callin’?”
“Wonderin’ if ya could stop by tonight. Maria’s makin’ meatloaf and I know ya like it.”
Joel did really like Maria’s meatloaf. He sighed to himself and shut his laptop, his cock having softened considerably since hearing his brother’s voice. “Yeah,” he cleared his throat, trying to subtly zip up his jeans while he held the phone against his shoulder. “I’ll come over in a little bit, just gotta… gonna make a phone call.”
“Ooh, ya finally have a date, old man?”
“Can it,” Joel grunted. “‘M forty-three. Ain’t that old. And no, I was gonna call Sarah. See how her classes are goin’.”
“Send her our love, will ya? ‘N tell her she’ll have a cousin soon. Maria’s ‘bout to pop any day. ‘M scared to death,” Tommy sighed. The happiness was clear in his voice, though. Joel was happy for him, and smiled to himself. “How’s Ellie doin’, by the way?”
“Good. Think she said somethin’ ‘bout joinin’ a… roller derby team? Don’t rightly know, but,” he shrugged to himself. “Sounded like somethin’ she’d like, way she was describin’ it.”
Talking on the phone with Tommy always went the same way. He’d find a way to chew up a couple hours of your time, but Joel never minded. Once they said their goodbyes and their I-love-yous, Joel picked up Max Phillips’ business card and sighed, rubbing his thumb over the phone number.
What could it hurt, right?
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That was two years ago. He’s been working for Love Bites for two years and had been avoiding Javier Peña as much as he could.
Joel’s never been good at… initiating conversations. Ellie would always give him shit for it. She usually went up to whoever had caught Joel’s eye and slyly made it her goal to get them to come over to him. 
But Ellie wasn’t here and she never would be. His girls knew what he did and even if they were a little concerned for him at first, they saw how much happier he’d been since joining. He was healthier, gaining a bit of “chub” as Sarah called it, and a healthier glow to his skin. He was on camera more often now, so he had to eat well and work out a little more. He didn’t do anything too crazy, and the audience that watched his videos had a lot of positive opinions and comments about his physique. It made him blush to think about it for too long, so he tried not to.
What was he saying?
Oh, right. Avoiding Javier Peña.
He’d had a huge crush on him ever since that first video he watched, and frankly, didn’t want to make a fool of himself if he talked to him. He’s filmed one video with him and it was the best Joel had felt in years. He almost came too quickly, and the video was supposed to be twenty minutes long. They had to pause so Joel could calm himself down, but Javier was patient and lovely with him. Javier had been doing this a lot longer than Joel had, so he wasn’t worried, which made Joel feel better. Just a little embarrassed. Afterwards, he had to leave, making up a story about seeing his girls for dinner that night.
“Javi!”
Joel’s eyes snapped up from his phone. He was in the middle of texting Sarah, saying that he’d call her when he got home from work. He had a scene with Dieter today.
And there he was. God. Joel’s cheeks flushed at the sight of Javier standing in the hall in his robe. He must’ve just finished his scene with Shane, the new kid. He couldn’t hear what he was saying, but the sound of Javier’s deep, commanding voice was enough to send a chill down Joel’s spine. Before he knew it, Javier was talking animatedly with Steve, another actor, as they walked off down the hall and disappearing around a corner.
He knew, realistically, relationships between porn actors could happen. Silva and Jake had been together for years. Joel’s problem with that was, well… Joel. His last real relationship was with Sarah’s mom years ago, and when the girls were in high school he had a relationship with this guy, Ezra for a while.
Smack!
“Jesus–!” Joel jumped, holding onto one of his ass cheeks protectively. Only one person would have done that.
“Hey, handsome,” Dieter grinned, sticking a hand down the back pocket of Joel’s jeans and squeezing. “Getting lost in Javi’s eyes again?” He winked.
“N-no! I am not,” Joel grumbled, finishing off his text and shoving his phone in his pocket.
Dieter snorted and rolled his eyes, then removed his hand to hold it out for Joel to take. “C’mon, big guy. You get to cum on my face today,” he smirked.
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Filming with Dieter always felt good. He was a bit wild for Joel’s personal tastes, but he always made sure Joel was comfortable, and today was no different. 
Joel was playing a “plumber” that needed to work on Dieter’s “pipes”. This of course led to Dieter offering to “pay” in his own way. 
“Oh, come on, big guy like you doesn’t need money, right?” Dieter recited his lines expertly, running a hand down Joel’s t-shirt covered chest. “Bet it gets lonely doing this sort of work, huh?”
Joel had gotten a lot better at the acting part of things over the past couple of years. He was super stiff (and not in the right way) in the beginning, but now, he easily plastered on a smirk, eyes glued to Dieter’s lips. “Sometimes,” he shrugged, a big hand hovering over Dieter’s shoulder. Dieter saw the hand out of the corner of his eye and grinned, curling his fingers around Joel’s thick wrist and moving it down to his ass.
Joel smirked, squeezing the plump flesh appreciatively. “Bit forward o’ you,” he rumbled.
Dieter visibly shivered and bit his lip. “Sexy guy like you, of course I am,” he breathed. He leaned forward and kissed Joel messily, the hand on Joel’s torso moving down to unzip his jeans. Joel was already painfully hard and grunted into Dieter’s mouth when his pants were opened and lowered enough to pull his cock free. Dieter moaned and curled his fingers around Joel’s shaft, pumping rhythmically.
They stayed like that for a while; open mouth kisses, heavy breathing from Joel, and Dieter’s moans being picked up by the mics. 
Dieter pulled away to look down at the thick cock in his hand and bit his lip at the sight. “Fuck,” he groaned, his own cock twitching in his sweats. “Can I suck your cock?” He looked up at Joel demurely, eyes big and nearly black with desire.
Joel forgot he was supposed to be acting for a minute and grunted, hips bucking into Dieter’s grasp. “F-fuck, yeah,” he nodded, eyes glazed over. Dieter smiled and guided Joel over to the couch on the set. Technically, Dieter was supposed to get on his knees in the “kitchen”, but he knew Joel wouldn’t be able to stand for that long with his back problems. Sometimes Dieter’s improv classes came in handy. Max couldn’t complain too much, as long as Dieter sucked Joel off, then the video was still following the script.
Joel grunted as he sat, hard cock swaying slightly. Dieter giggled a little and happily got down on his knees, hands traveling up and down Joel’s thighs appreciatively. “Such a pretty cock,” he hummed, licking his lips as he watched it twitch in front of him, a drop of pre-cum gathering at the tip. 
“Why dontcha put that mouth to use, then?” Joel smirked, gripping the base and tapping the head against Dieter’s cheek. “Want your discount, right?”
Dieter smiled and opened his mouth wide, eyes shut in pure bliss. Joel gripped Dieter’s messy curls and held him still as he hit the head of his cock against Dieter’s tongue. Dieter moaned and opened his eyes, watching Joel’s face for any cues to stop. They never came, but it was something they all had to keep an eye on. When everything seemed to be going well, he happily wrapped his mouth around the head of Joel’s cock and started bobbing his head up and down.
He moaned, the vibrations traveling down Joel’s cock and up his spine, making Joel groan in return. “Mmm, knew you’d be good with your mouth,” he grinned, holding the back of Dieter’s head to set a pace Joel liked better.
Dieter heard a cameraman move to his right to get a better angle of his mouth, so he amped it up a little. He got messier, saliva dripping down along the sides of Joel’s shaft. Joel moaned weakly, resting his head on the back of the couch, but keeping one of his hands tangled in Dieter’s messy curls. Dieter started bobbing his head slower, eyes locked on Joel’s face as he moved further down his shaft, taking as much as he could down his throat. He choked slightly and pulled off, pre-cum and saliva covering his mouth and Joel’s cock. He smiled up at Joel and panted heavily, curling his fingers around the base to pump the thick cock.
Joel’s eyes rolled back and he grunted, hips bucking off the couch. “C’mere,” he breathed, heavy work boots landing heavily on the set floor as he stood. “Gonna fuck your face.”
Dieter shivered at the low timbre of Joel’s voice and nodded happily up at him. He pulled his sweats down and gripped his own cock in hand and started stroking himself rhythmically. Dieter opened his mouth for Joel obediently and nearly choked again when Joel shoved his cock down Dieter’s throat. He moaned weakly when Joel’s hips started moving, his heavy balls slapping against Dieter’s chin.
Dieter just had to take it, the lewd sounds of Joel fucking his face filling the otherwise quiet room. He fucking loved it because Joel was subtly massaging Dieter’s scalp and it sent shivers down his spine. His fist was almost a blur over his own cock and tears leaked out of his eyes, a blush high on his cheeks.
“Mmm, bein’ such a good boy f’me,” Joel grunted, biting his lip to rein it in a little. Dieter moaned at the praise, eyebrows downturned in pleasure. “Yeah? Like bein’ my good boy?”
Dieter whined and nodded as best he could, eyes completely glazed over. Joel slowed down his hips a little and let Dieter breathe for a minute. Dieter panted hard, a near-dopey smile on his face. “Come on my face,” he breathed heavily, extending his tongue for Joel. “Please.”
It was Joel’s turn to shiver as he slapped the head of his cock against Dieter’s face again. “Gonna have to earn it,” Joel smirked, reciting his lines as well as he could. 
Dieter whined and pouted up at him, his own hand slowing down a little. He didn’t say anything, letting Joel continue.
“Make me come, and I’ll paint this pretty face o’ yours.”
Dieter’s face lit up and he curled his fingers around Joel’s shaft. He watched Joel’s face while he wrapped his lips around the head and bobbed his head. His free hand held Joel’s hip and subtly moved to his ass and squeezed. He moaned around Joel’s cock and shut his eyes briefly before obediently looking up at him, big eyes wet and innocent. 
“Atta boy,” Joel grunted, cupping Dieter’s face lovingly. Dieter removed his mouth to kiss down his length as he stroked him, attaching his lips to one of Joel’s balls. “Mmm, fuck,” Joel breathed, tipping his head back. 
The hand on Joel’s ass moved slightly until one of Dieter’s fingertips prodded at Joel’s asshole. Joel grunted in surprise and smiled down at Dieter. “Really want me all over ya, huh?”
“Yes,” Dieter nodded, sucking one of Joel’s balls into his mouth. “Please.”
“Keep talkin’ like that and– ooh, fuck – Jus’ might get your wish,” Joel panted, shutting his eyes. He felt the build up in his lower stomach, his cock twitching violently in Dieter’s hand. “C’mere, baby boy,” he grinned, taking his cock back to stroke himself over Dieter’s face.
Dieter was buzzing, lifting Joel’s t-shirt to lovingly caress his hairy tummy, mouth open wide and obedient. 
Joel felt his balls draw up and his hips buck until– “Fuck–! Shit,” He moaned, thick ropes of come spurting out from the tip of his cock and landing on Dieter’s face and mouth. He caressed Dieter’s hair, thick fingers massaging his scalp while the other hand stroked himself until his balls were completely empty. 
Dieter happily licked his mouth clean, and hid his face in Joel’s stomach, whimpering into the sweaty skin. He moaned weakly, his entire body trembling as he came, completely untouched. Dieter was the only one in the cast that could do that, and he loved showing it off as much as he could.
“Shit,” Joel smiled, petting Dieter’s sweaty curls back and out of his face. “Ain’t you a sight.”
“Cut!”
Dieter deflated, a huge grin on his face. He started giggling into Joel’s stomach and smiled up at him. “Fucking love your cock, Joel,” he hummed happily.
“That’s what you always say,” Joel snorted, helping him up onto his feet. Dieter was a little wobbly still and cuddled into Joel’s side. He always got a little clingy after a scene, but Joel didn’t mind. As different as they were, Joel would probably consider Dieter one of his closest friends. It always worked in their favor, their natural chemistry and closeness coming through the cameras.
They were handed a couple towels and some water, the both of them taking them gratefully. Max came up to them, his usual shit-eating grin on his face. Joel always thought Max reminded him of a vampire, with that mischievous glint in his eye that always seemed to be there.
“Great show, boys,” Max started. “Dieter, d’you mind if I steal Joel away for a second?”
Dieter whined and clinged onto Joel tighter. Joel grinned and hugged him back. “Sorry, boss, looks like he ain’t leavin’ anytime soon.”
Max rolled his eyes, but continued anyway. “Fine. Meant to tell you earlier, but things got rolling, you know how it is–”
“What is it, Max?”
“You’ve got a scene with Javier tomorrow.”
If there were a record player anywhere, Joel would probably hear it scratching right about now. Dieter paused too, and looked up at Joel with worried eyes. He knew all about Joel’s crush, and was always telling Joel to just go for it. Joel froze briefly, but tried to school his emotions as best he could.
“O-okay, um. What time?” He asked shakily, gripping Dieter’s fluffy robe tighter.
“I’m thinking around noon? That way Javier can prepare, y’know?”
Preparing was always done before a particularly intense scene. Joel tried really hard not to think about Javier wearing a plug for a while before coming to set. 
“Right,” Joel nodded, cheeks going a little pink. “I’ll be there.”
“You’re the best, Joel!” Max snapped his fingers and walked off, talking to a couple of assistants. 
Dieter tapped on his chest and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “You really gotta say something, Joel,” he said softly. 
Joel sighed and nodded. He knew that. 
He just didn’t know what.
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whatdoeseverybodywant · 5 months
Text
Rebuild & Restore - Chapter 6
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I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS
Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 
All OC Characters belong to me
Series Masterlist
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Saturday Afternoon..
“This is so fucking stupid.” Joe mumbled to himself  as he drove down I-95. After another one of his text messages sent to Kiyana went unanswered. He was down bad. He just didn’t understand. Kiyana and Josh were divorced now, so there was nothing standing in the way of him and Kiyana being together now. The stupid part wasn’t even that he was driving to Pensacola because he could just play it off as wanting to see his parents, it’s that fact that this impromptu trip only took place because Kiyana was active on social media but not responding to his text messages.
6 hours down, 3 hours and 30 minutes to go.. 
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“How did Josh take the news?” Samara asked as she and Kiyana walked around the mall looking for stores to go in. Samara narrowed her eyes at Kiyana when she didn't respond back.  “Kiyana Marie…” 
“I didn’t tell him yet.” Kiyana muttered as they walked into a store. She could feel the heat of Samara’s stare as she picked up a dress from the rack and held it up to her body. 
“That’s ugly, put it down.” Kiyana rolled her eyes and put the dress back. “Why the hell not?” Kiyana huffed as she started looking through another rack of dresses.
 “I just don’t wanna spring it on him Sam,” Kiyana huffed out. “We’ve only been divorced for like what? 2 weeks is that not too soon?” It took everything in Samara to not knock her best friend upside her head. 
“Key, y’all were married and he was sleeping with that girl, it’s no such thing as too soon when it comes to y’all.  You don’t owe him anything..”  Kiyana sucked her teeth, but she knew Samara was right, she didn’t owe Josh anything. “Fuck Josh.” 
“You’re right,” Kiyana muttered as her heart started to ache in her chest. She knew she needed to move on.. She had to move on for her own sanity. Josh had proven to her that he wasn’t the man she thought he was, it was time for her to move on. 
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“I wasn’t expecting you back for another hour or two.” Josh stated as Kiyana walked into her living room. She eyed him, frowning her face up as he looked a little too comfortable in her living room, sprawled out on her couch. The boys weren’t used to him not being in the house yet, so he had been spending his days off at the house instead of his apartment. 
“I just wanted to pick a couple of things up from the mall.” She said and Josh nodded, his eyes peeking over at her bags, eyes narrowing as one of the names stuck out to him. 
“Damn, you got a date or something?” He jokingly asked, trying to peek into the lingerie store bag.  Now or never 
“Yeah,” She said, “I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I need you to take the boys tonight.” 
“Wait.” Josh chuckled, sitting up and grabbing the remote, turning the t.v off. “What the fuck is you telling me right now?” He asked, feeling his stomach tighten and his heart start to pound faster. A date? Nah, he must’ve heard her wrong. 
“You’re not seriously mad right now are you?” She asked and he scoffed 
“What the fuck - of course i’m mad Kiyana. I’m your husband -” 
“Ex-husband!” She cut him off. “You’re my ex-husband who decided that he no longer wanted to be faithful. ” 
Suddenly, Josh couldn’t breathe. He drowned out whatever else Kiyana was saying and just stared at her pretty face. This can not be happening right now. The thought of Kiyana being with someone else made him sick to his stomach. “I’m gonna go.” He said, not looking at her as he put his shoes on and started walking towards the door. 
“What about the boys? Can you take them tonight?” Josh scoffed and shook his head. 
“Nah, not tonight.” 
“Josh!” She called out, leaping up from the couch and following him out of the house. “You being deadass?” 
“You think imma sit in the fucking house, filled with memories of us while you out on a date? You got me fucked up.” Kiyana threw her hands up and let out a long sigh. 
“So don’t stay here. Go to your place.”   Oh this bitch, Josh thought, knowing better than to call her that out loud. 
“Bye Kiyana.” Her jaw dropped open as she turned his back to her and stomped towards his car. 
“Fuck you Josh!” She yelled at him, not caring about the neighbors, flipping  him off as he got in his car and drove away. 
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Joe let out a sigh as he pulled up to his destination. Making sure he had his phone and wallet he exited his car and walked up to the front door, knocking three times. 
“Oh shit, big Uce! Whatchu’ doing here?” Jon said as he dapped up his older cousin. 
Joe smiled. “Just decided to take a drive and clear my head.” Joe lied and Jon furrowed his eyebrows. 
“From Miami?” He asked, moving to the side and letting Joe into his home. 
“Nah, I've been in town for a couple days.” He lied again. “Wanted to see my folks.”  Joe stated as he sat on the couch with Jon. “Decided to come and see what my favorite cousin has been up to.” 
“Now I know ya’ ass is lying.” Jon laughed. “Whatchu’ really doing here Uce?"
“Alright, Alright.” Joe muttered, wiping his hands on his gray sweatpants. “I know Josh is your brother and all but fuck, i’m here to see Kiyana.” Trinity, who just entered the living room, shared a look with her husband. “No. Don’t look at eachother like that. I just want to make sure she’s good. She hasn’t been answering my text or phone calls.” 
“I mean, can you blame her?” Trinity spoke up. “I’m pretty sure she is only still in contact with Josh because of their kids. Look,” Trinity sighed, sitting down next to Joe. “Josh is already making it hard for her, she doesn’t need you popping up and making it worse.” 
“How can I make it worse by checking up on my friend Trinity?”
“Y’all are not friends anymore Joe. The second y’all had sex, y’all stopped being friends.”  Joe opened his mouth to argue, but the sound of the front door opening and slamming caught their attention. 
“A fuckin' date! Divorced for 2 weeks and she has a fucking date!” Josh ranted as he stomped into the living room, stopping short at the sight of Joe sitting on the couch. Josh immediately jumped to conclusions, Kiyana had a date and Joe just so happened to be in Pensacola. “Imma kill you.” Josh muttered before lunging towards Joe. 
Luckily, Jon was quick and grabbed Josh before he could land a punch.  “Of fuck off!” Joe snorted standing up. “It was six months ago and y’all are divorced now. Get over it.” 
“Get over it?! You’re going on a date with my wife and you’re telling me to get over it!”
Oh my god.” Trinity muttered, rolling her eyes. “She’s not going on a date with Joe dummy. And even if she was, she’s a single woman now. You want her to be single the rest of her life? It’s stupid as hell. She’s allowed to move on Josh.” Josh sucked his teeth and pushed Jon off of him. 
“Whatever.” He muttered, throwing a glare at Joe  before stomping his way back out of the house, slamming the door behind him. 
“STOP SLAMMING MY DAMN DOOR!” 
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Kiyana stared at herself in her bedroom mirror. “You can do this.” She whispered as she took a deep breath, smoothing down her dress. She was beyond nervous for her date with Eli. This was her first date with another guy in twenty-three years. Her stomach was already in knots. 
 Walking into the living room, she rolled her eyes as Samara catcalled at her. After Josh’s little tantrum earlier, Kiyana called her best friend who was more than happy to spend the evening with her nephews. 
“Good, it looks easy to take off.” Kiyana rolled her eyes again with a chuckle. 
“I’m not having sex with him.” 
“Booo!” Samara threw a couch pillow at Kiyana. “Why the hell not? Just get it over with.” 
“Because it’s our first date Samara.” Kiyana laughed as she walked over to the bar cart to pour herself a shot of Hennessy. “I don’t want him to think I'm easy.” 
Before Samara could respond there was a knock on her front door, causing the both of them to look at each other in confusion. 
“I thought you said eight.” Samara said, looking at the clock on her phone. 
“He’s early,” Kiyana responded, before walking over to the font door and opening it, her heart rate picking up when she saw who was standing on the other side. 
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“Joe?” Kiyana whispered, shocked that he was standing in front of her. 
“JOE?!” She heard Samara yell out. 
“What are you doing here?” 
Joe shrugged and placed his hands in the pockets of his gray sweats, “I came to see if you were alright. You haven’t been responding to my texts.” 
“I’ve been busy.” Was all Kiyana said and Joe narrowed his eyes at her. 
“Kiyana -”  He was cut off by the sound of someone’s car tires screeching to a stop in front of her house. 
“You can’t go on the date.” Joe called out as he exited his car and made his way up to the house, standing right next to Joe. Kiyana looked between the two men with wide eyes. 
“Excuse me?” She asked and by now Samara had made her way to the foyer and was watching the mess unfold. 
“Uh, Is everything okay Kiyana?”  Oh what the fuck Kiyana thought as Joe and Josh turned to look at Eli who was walking up to them holding a bouquet of red roses. 
“Who the fuck are you?” Joe and Josh asked at the same time. 
“Elijah, who the fuck are y’all?”  Kiyana turned to glare at Samara when she started laughing. 
“I can’t do this.” Kiyana muttered, as she started to rub her temples.  This could not be happening to her right now. What were the odds of all three of them showing up at the same time tonight?!
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LMAO. I would probably just turn around and go back in the house if I was Kiyana 😭
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tumbleweed-writes · 5 months
Text
Wrong Number: Chibs Telford X Reader One shot
When reader texts some enticing photos to the wrong number and not to her ol man, she's met with some surprising but hoped for results.
18+ Not full smut but implied.
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She let out a frustrated groan as she followed him into the clubhouse, his legs far longer than her own making him move too far ahead of her. The words left Y/N’s lips a low growl erupting from her throat as they entered the clubhouse making their way behind the bar. “I swear to God, Tigger. I’m going to kill you.”
The outlaw biker in front of her only chuckled in response to the threat he clearly was not taking her as seriously as she would have hoped. “Well that’s a little dramatic.”
She glared up at the flip phone in his hand as he held it far above his head out of her reach, her cheeks growing all the more crimson from both anger and sheer humiliation. “Delete them. Delete them right now , Tig.”
Tig had the audacity to actually giggle at the request, shaking his head. “You’re one hundred percent sure these weren’t meant for me? I mean I don’t think you’ve been accepting of any advances I might have shot your way, but if this is your way of giving me a green light then I fully accept.”
A frustrated groan left Y/N’s lips, her cheeks growing even more flushed as she thought of the two sensual photos she’d accidentally texted to Tig’s cell number instead of the cell number she’d been intending.
She fully blamed herself for the slipup. She’d taken the photos after having a little bit of whiskey, the booze loosening her up enough to decide it was a brilliant idea to take some provocative photos for her man. It wasn’t their first venture into this game.  
It sure as hell wasn’t her first venture into taking erotic photographs. Her past job had consisted of having risque photographs taken of her and posted on both vanilla and not so vanilla websites. Cara Cara had just been one site she’d done some solo work for.
It wasn’t something she’d ever dreamed of doing. It had started as an easy way to make a quick buck in college after she’d become familiar with a girl who’d done some similar work and had gotten her into the scene.
Y/N had been a broke college girl hoping to make some fast cash so she could eat something other than ramen for dinner. It had gone further than just a one time thing though. 
Y/N had always considered herself to be pretty open minded, so it had not been too difficult to lean into doing more fetish material the longer she’d worked. She’d been able to find plenty of work doing some S&M material. 
The jobs had started coming in and soon her coursework and college attendance had started to taper off. She’d dropped out and decided to take the option with more money. She figured college would always be there, the ability to make money while she was still desirable enough would only be a fleeting chance though.
She’d leaned more into her job within the industry and a promise of fast cash even if it meant doing something that at times had made her life more complicated than it needed to be. 
Her past employment was part of how she’d met her man to begin with. She’d become a friend of Lyla Winston’s through her work. Though Y/N’s job in the industry had only consisted to fetish material based on photographs and the occasional solo work, and Lyla’s work in the industry went far beyond that, the two women had still become friends.
When Y/N had decided that she wanted to move away from the industry and find something a little more straight-laced, Lyla had suggested a bookkeeping job at TM Auto. 
Y/N could admit a big push out of the industry had been the suggestion that she might want to consider starting to do some video work with partners. It felt less like a suggestion though and more as though she was being pressured into it.
She had been fine with the photographs and the solo work had been tolerable. She wasn’t interested in going any deeper into it though. She’d been searching for an out, and Lyla’s offer to get her an interview at TM Auto had been a perfect escape route. 
She’d always been good with numbers, so she’d decided to take the offer to interview for the bookkeeping gig at TM. 
It had not been easy to get the job of course. Gemma Teller Morrow had her suspicions about the young woman who’d come to interview even if Lyla did give her glowing praise.
Y/N knew Gemma was well within her right to be suspicious. She knew her past employment had given her a reputation and she was well aware of what assumptions people made about her. She’d been around a few of the girls in her industry who seemed to view SAMCRO as a chance to hook up with an outlaw and get a quick thrill. Ima was a perfect example of the type of girl who put a bad taste in Gemma’s mouth when it came to anyone who Lyla associated with. Lyla herself had a difficult enough time shaking her reputation and being respected in SAMCRO’s world. 
Y/N had found that she had to make it pretty clear that she was only interested in the bookkeeping gig. She had made it quite known that she had zero interest in trying to land herself a guy in a kutte. She made it obvious that she was not looking to seek a sexual thrill out of hooking up with a criminal. She had been unashamed to declare to Gemma that this job opportunity wasn’t her attempting to become a croweater or even an attempt to walk on the wildside. 
Gemma had taken a chance on her desperate enough for the help at the garage. Lord knows she needed all the help she could get at the garage.
The majority of the Sons had been serving a 14 month sentence in San Joaquin correctional facility, The Sons on the outside were struggling to keep the business going, and Tara Knowles had been expecting a new member of the family while trying to balance a growing Abel Teller. 
Gemma knew her attention needed to be spread between the garage, her place as the Queen of SAMCRO, and her son’s growing family. 
So, Y/N had worked as an extra set of hands at the garage. She’d proven to be a great help at the office at TM Auto working both with the books and doing work within the office once Gemma had needed more help.
Her employment at the garage had not gone unnoticed by the few Sons on the outside nor had it escaped the eyes of a few non patched club hang-arounds who worked in the garage. 
It had not taken Y/N long to realize that the men around the garage were most likely familiar with her past work. There had been a few snickers and crude comments whispered among the men. They’d not even made an attempt to hide them from her. 
She’d not minded the ogling stares nor the lewd whispered comments. Or at least she’d tried to pretend she’d not minded them.
She’d learned in her past career that she had to have thick skin. Opie Winston had been kind enough. He’d been dating Lyla when Y/N had begun working for TM and he’d seemed approving of her even if he didn’t always seem to approve of his girlfriend’s line of work.
One other man had seemed to shy away from the obscene remarks and leers. In fact, Chibs Telford had proven to be a complete gentleman to her.
She’d been suspicious at first. She was almost certain the sweet gentleman act was most likely an attempt to charm his way into her pants. Lord knows she’d had a few guys try the nice guy act once they figured out what she did for a living.
She had soon realized though that the nice guy act was far from an act.
Chibs genuinely seemed to be prone to treating her like a lass after his own heart. 
It hadn’t been hard for them to form a friendship of sorts. It had been less hard once Chibs had shut down a less than quiet vulgar remark made about her body and her past bondage work by some foolish nonpatched mechanic around the garage. 
It had definitely created some sexual tension between Chibs and she that had not gone unnoticed by a few people around the garage. 
She’d considered if there was something more there than friendship, but had shied away from pursuing anything. She’d told herself that even if there was some lingering sexual tension that it was likely just that. 
She’d grown accustomed to the knowledge that most men in her life viewed her as more of a sexual object and less than a fully formed person. She could admit that she feared Chibs’ interest in her leaned more on the sexual side of the coin and she couldn’t bear the disappointment in finding out that he maybe didn’t view her past lust. 
She’d been unaware that he’d held his own reservations. Chibs had been certain that a young attractive woman like her most likely wasn’t interested in him. She was far more than the former fetish model the guys around the garage had labeled her as. She was a gorgeous woman but that wasn't the only thing that had him so taken by her. She was clever and funny and sweet as can be. He was enamored and it scared the hell out of him. 
She had come into his life at a strange time. He’d recently come to the decision with Fiona to end their marriage now that Jimmy O’ was no longer a threat and they were free to live their lives. They’d realized those lives were best lived only as coparents to their daughter and not as romantic partners.
It had been a painful choice but they’d both known they’d changed in the years since they’d last been able to behave as a married couple.
He’d been mourning the end of that chapter of his life and had been trying to focus on keeping the club afloat with most of his brothers locked away.
Y/N had provided a tempting escape from the stress and heartache. He’d been unwilling to lean too far into the temptation of that escape though. 
He’d been unwilling until he just couldn’t help himself anymore. 
The cross over into friendship into something more had happened a late night at the garage where they'd been the only ones remaining; he working late in the garage on a stubborn Harley rebuild and her working on some stubborn books.
A shared joint had loosened up reservations between the two and a kiss had happened. The kiss had lead to a passionate make out session on the little couch at TM Auto and the makeout session had led to her being bent over the desk at TM Auto with him taking her from behind.
After that encounter she’d expected things to be awkward or worse had feared that he’d disappear once he got what he wanted. She knew that old saying: when men got what they want they never wanted it again.
Much to her shock Chibs Telford had wanted it again and again and again.
The want had continued as the months had gone by. 
Once his incarcerated brothers had been released Y/N had feared that her time working in the garage had come to an end, but to her shock Gemma had asked her to stay on.
Y/N had even begun taking some online courses in accounting. 
Things with Chibs had continued on, though much to her chagrin they’d not exactly placed a label on it. 
He’d not seemed to be in any rush to make whatever they had going on together public knowledge either.
She’d bit back her annoyance once it had hit her that she didn’t seem to be just another bedroom partner for Chibs. It had become clear that she was his only bedroom partner.
She’d heard the prodding and teasing from his brothers towards Chibs about his neglect of the croweaters and prodding over just who was keeping his dick wet.
Little glances Chibs sent her way had gone unnoticed for the most part. If anything his brothers had assumed that the older Scot had a crush that he wasn't acting on and had not looked into it any deeper.
Chibs had also made it clear that he didn’t want anyone making a move on her either. Kozik and one of the prospects Miles had made the mistake of trying to push up on her, and Chibs had just about cracked a tooth making an excuse to get the men far from the woman he’d been spending his nights with.
Y/N had come to the irritated acceptance that pushing Chibs into putting a label on them and making things between them public knowledge was not something she could force. 
She would be lying though if she tried to pretend that lately it wasn’t becoming more and more obnoxious though.
A big part of her wanted to scream at him to piss or get off the pot.
Perhaps that was why texting him naughty photos more frequently had become a habit lately.
She’d had hopes that maybe reminding him that she was there and was willing would push him to at least think about her as something more than what she was beginning to fear she might be to him.
She had hopes that seeing her in such provocative positions in his dorm room of all places would plant the idea in his head that she could spend every night in his dorm if he wanted it. If he wanted to make it clear that she was his and actually put a label on it then she would be happy to be in his dorm anytime he wanted. 
She knew it was probably a dumb idea. If she wanted him to place a label on it and be open about it with the people in their lives then perhaps dirty photos weren’t the right move? The dirty photos were supposed to be a secret after all. 
Their entire courtship had felt too secretive for her liking. 
She was beginning to lose hope though. She was considering stepping up her game. She was tempted to let Kozik take her on that damned bike ride he’d been offering her for months now. Maybe seeing someone else be so willing to be seen with her in public would light a fire under the Scottish idiot’s ass?
She’d been toying with the idea but she had a feeling it would just bite her in the ass.
She had allowed the whiskey to push her to once again try the naughty photo angle. Maybe if he kept seeing her in such a state in his dorm room he’d take the damn hint? 
The red dress had been a praised favorite of her intended texting partner. The red lace of her bra had been a new purchase that had been made with him in mind. The push up bra made her assets look so tempting. She’d realized he liked her in red. 
She was almost stunned that Tig Trager had not recognized the dorm room that had been featured in the background of the two photos that had been sent his way.
The small glimpse of the dorm room would have most likely given a hint of just who those two photos had been meant for had Tig bothered to pay attention to the background.
She glared up at Tig as he held the cell phone up even higher, a chuckle leaving him as she attempted to reach up her arms stretching as high as she could. The height difference made the feat an impossible one though. The cell phone remained far from her reach. 
She was tempted to kick him in the balls and get the damn phone that way, but she wasn’t willing to fight dirty…not yet at least.
She spoke another frustrated growl leaving her throat. “Tig, this is not funny, delete them right now.”
Tig replied a sigh leaving him. “I’ll delete them if you tell me who they’re intended for. Please tell me it isn't fucking Kozik. I’ve seen the looks he sends you Y/N. You deserve way more than that blonde moron, trust me? Oh, Christ. It’s not one of the damn prospects is it? I know both Miles and V-Lin stare at you like you’re a steak dinner and they’ve been trapped in death valley. Please tell me you aren’t giving it up to one of them? I think we both know you’re way more woman than they can handle.”
Y/N felt her cheeks grow pink remembering the poorly thought out scheme to perhaps use Kozik’s interests in her to get a rise out of Chibs.
She had to agree with Tig’s assessment somewhat…Kozik was somewhat sweet…but not the brightest.
She could admit she’d decided against using Kozik as a means to force Chibs hand partially because the poor guy was so sweet…and ditzy. It felt wrong using him to get the man she loved to make a commitment.
As far as the prospects went, Y/N had zero interest in either man. She had a distinct feeling that both men were more boys than men. She had a feeling that the prospects would have zero clue how to please her in the bedroom and didn't have quite the maturity for anything outside the bedroom.
There was only one man who she knew as capable of pleasing her and much to her frustration he seemed hesitant to make things between them public or give any indication to her that this was something more than them having fun.
He always said the same thing the few times she'd brought it up. I'm having a lot of fun with you. I enjoy being with you. I want to keep it to ourselves just a little bit longer.
She could admit she'd hesitated to push him to actually address the issue. She feared that Chibs may never be willing to give her the relationship she desired. She was not looking to rush into the heartbreak she was sure would come if it was said clear and plain that he did not view her as an actual romantic partner and did not want everyone to know she was his.
She spoke a groan leaving her as she continued to struggle to reach the phone she had taken to jumping in place to attempt to snatch it from his grasp. “Alexander Trager, I swear to God, delete those photos or I will murder you and no one will ever find the freaking body.”
“Lass, what’s with all the death threats? What have ya done to piss her off Tig?” A familiar voice sounded out beside her.
Y/N cringed glancing at the Scotsman as he approached the bar, an amused smirk on his lips. 
She sighed at the sight of the man who those damn photos had been intended for. He’d had a long morning, meeting with the Irish and then being drug away on a tow job the instant he’d returned to the garage.
She’d hoped that the photos would be a pleasant gift to him as well as another hint to put a label on this and make it public.
She sighed wanting nothing more than to sink into the floor and disappear as Tig grinned giddy to bring Chibs in on the act of tormenting TM Autos' favorite office worker. 
Tig grinned between Chibs and Y/N as she spoke. “Little Miss Y/N accidentally sent me some very alluring photos. She won’t tell me who they’re intended for and she refuses to admit that it’s clearly me. I’m right, right Y/N? It’s me, you don’t have to be shy. You could have just said the word and I would have given you the Tig-action you’re craving. You didn’t have to go through the routine of sending me dirty photos and pretending it’s not meant for me. Just say the word and I’ll go grab some baby oil.”
“Tig I swear to God.” She snapped, refusing to glance over at Chibs, certain he was not entirely pleased with this information.
Tig spoke a giggle leaving him still content to prod her. “I know, I know baby oil isn’t the best choice, but it works in a bind, babe. I’m a big man, we’re going to need the help.”
Y/N cringed at the possessive growl that left Chibs he not entirely amused at the statement. “Those weren’t meant fer ya.”
“I know, she won’t tell me who they're meant for. You gotta see them, Chibby. It’s fucking torture. I’m afraid it was meant for Kozik. She won’t own up to it, but we both know the idiot sends her heart-eyes at every chance he gets. Herman Kozik is so not worth red lace.” Tig exclaimed not picking up on the irritation and jealousy bouncing off Chibs.
Y/N wanted to melt into a puddle of awkward shame she refusing to meet Chibs’ eyes choosing instead to stare down at the floor. This moment was going to kill her. If she was capable of dying from awkward situations this would do it.
She widened her eyes as Chibs spoke his voice, a domineering tone that made her knees weak and her center clench.“Let me see em.”
She resisted the urge to groan, having to hate that she’d always had a submissive streak, even before she'd gotten into fetish work. She had always had a thing for having a guy dominate her if he knew what he was doing and wasn't just being an asshole. She found it difficult to find a guy who was capable of dominating her without being a dick about it or misusing the trust she gave him. Chibs had proven he was more than capable of effectively giving her the domination she craved. He had proven he was capable of giving her what she wanted while respecting what boundaries she'd placed on the desire to submit to him.
She was quite certain he’d used that same tone of voice in a couple of their sexual encounters though it usually involved him saying far more lewd things. 
That tone of voice was usually reserved for when he told her to take her clothing off and bend over for him, or to get down on her knees and open her greedy little mouth for his cock.
It was so a voice she did not need to hear outside of those scenarios.
Tig did not notice Y/N hitch in breath to the voice he jerking a little shocked as Chibs yanked the phone from his grasp before he had a chance to even comprehend what was happening.
He dared to speak, the playful tone disappearing, he at least having the sense to prove that he wasn't a total scumbag. “Come on, Chibs. I’m sure she doesn’t want everyone seeing them. I was going to delete them…eventually.”
Chibs ignored him gazing down at the photos on the screen, a groan of approval and desire leaving his lips. He reached down clearly making an attempt to adjust his jeans. It was obvious that the photos had the desired impact on the lower region of his body.
Y/N was more sure than ever that she could die of shame and awkward in the moment. She sighed coming to the conclusion that she’d had a good life or at least an okay one..if she died now it would be fine.
She widened her eyes as Chibs spoke his voice loud and clear. “These photos weren’t meant fer ya Lad, Pretty sure, my ol lady meant to text these fuckin glorious photos to me. She may a’been a wee bit tipsy when she decided to send em judgin by the dazed look in her eyes in this firs pic. My Love can’t handle her whiskey. She an I clearly need to have a talk bout drinkin an textin.”
“Wait, what?” Tig spat out his eyes growing wide struggling to grasp the information Chibs had just laid out on the table for him.
Chibs spoke again, hitting the delete button on the photos as he spoke. “I’ll be deletin these Tigger. Ain’ havin ya share what was meant fer my eyes with anyone else.”
Y/N stared up at him feeling as breathless as Tig though her astonishment was for a far different reason. Did he just call her what she thought he called her? Ol lady, his ol lady?
Chibs tossed the phone down on the bar as he nodded to Y/N. “Come on, M’Love. I think ya need to show me jus what ya were hopin fer when ya meant to send those photos to me.”
She moved forward any of the embarrassed awkwardness she’d felt hanging over her leaving her brain her body heating up having the feeling Chibs was going to show her just how much those photos had affected him.
Chibs wrapped an arm around her his hand sliding down to her backside, giving it a squeeze that sent a message that he had zero intention of hiding what she was to him from anyone ever again. 
He spoke his voice picking up that possessive growl he’d shown earlier. “Red lace, Lass? Ya still got it on?”
She gazed up at him, her knees feeling wobbly and her panties getting beyond soaked. “No, I’m wearing something else…purple lace.”
He gave her backside a squeeze, his voice still holding that possessive tone. “Aye, think I’ll like that too.”
He pressed his lips to hers as they made their way down the hallway towards his dorms before he spoke. “Gonna fuckin kill Tig fer seein yer body, Love. Christ, think it’s time I put my crow on ya. Gotta make it clear to him, Kozik, and every other prick round here that yer mine…especially fuckin Kozik. The only way that idiot’s gonna get a clue is when my crow is on my ol lady.”
“As long as it’s not my tit. I’m not giving tit for tat, no matter how much I love you.” She remarked her mind spinning trying to grasp everything he’d just said.
This was more than what she’d hoped for and she’d not planned any of it. If she’d known it was going to be this simple she would have accidentally texted Tig intentionally.
He smirked his lips pressing to hers much gentler as they neared his dorm room. “Aye not on yer tit. Like those too much the way they are, Love.” 
She spoke needing to say the words. “I was almost afraid of what this was between us…afraid it wasn’t what I was hoping…you haven’t exactly seemed in any rush to put any label on it or show me any sign or this being anything in front of anyone. You’ve seemed pretty content keeping things between us so secretive…I actually thought I was going to have to give Kozik a date to light a fire under your ass or at least test you to see if this meant anything to you.”
Chibs cringed realizing she had a point. “Aye, I know Love. Trus me…I know I’ve not exactly been open bout how I feel bout ya. To tell the truth...Ya came into my life at an odd time, Love. I love ya deeply, ain’ felt that way bout anyone in a long while. I was fraid of not bein what ya need…fraid of failing ya. Almos' convinced myself ya were more than I could ever deserve and ya'd realize it sooner or later. I was almos fraid if I put a label on it and let anyone know then I’d lose ya the same way I lose everyone else I love. I thought if the world knew ya were mine then it’d put a target on yer back.  No more though, Lass. This scares the shite outta me, but not havin ya…losin ya due to my own fear…that scares me even more. I love ya too damn much to hide what I feel fer ya m’love.”
He paused a huff leaving him. “I’d kick Kozik’s fuckin teeth in if he ever took ya on a date fer the record.”
She didn’t have a chance to reply as he pressed his lips to hers the words leaving him “Putting my crow on ya as soon as possible, Love. Not hidin what ya are to me.”
“I want it…and for the record. You aren't going to lose me and you are never undeserving of me.” She promised her hand reaching up to caress his cheek, he leaning into her touch a content sigh leaving him. 
He pressed another kiss to her lips as he reached down, opening his dorm. “I love ya, Lass. Love my ol lady so much more than she knows.”
She allowed him to lead her into the room fully content to let him show her just much he loved her. 
Neither heard Tig as the man finally snapped out of his shocked daze, his voice loud and full of relief. “Ol lady…Chibs…Oh thank Christ it’s not fucking Kozik.”
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juniperskye · 7 months
Text
Chewing Gum
Summary: Eddie gets gum in his hair, so Steve takes him to his favorite salon to get it out. The events of season 4 did not happen.
Eddie Munson x Hair Stylist (Fem)Reader (she’s kind of sunshiny emo lol also she’s described to have colored hair, tattoos, and piercings)
Fluff
Word count: 1474
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, no use of y/n, language!, Jason Carver being an ass, half assed salon info, let me know if I missed any!
not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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Jason Carver is a dick. He treated Eddie and the boys like shit and went out of his way to make sure they knew they were “freaks”.
Eddie saw Chrissy get bumped by one of the other basketball players. They were messing around in the halls like a bunch of Neanderthals and Chrissy got struck in the crossfire. She was body checked into a locker and her books went flying.
“Here.” Eddie offered Chrissy her science book that had slid across the hall.
“Thanks Eddie.” Chrissy smiled.
Eddie nodded back to her and moved toward his homeroom, but not before Jason stormed over, purposely bumping Eddie in the process.
“Let’s go babe.” Jason said, pulling Chrissy along with him.
This had been a pretty tame reaction from Jason…or so Eddie thought. Eddie made it through homeroom and history no problem, it was when he got to lunch that all hell broke loose.
“Woahhh dude! You have gum in your hair.” Garreth said to Eddie.
“HA HA very funny Garreth.” Eddie rolled his eyes.
“Oh shit! Ed, man he’s not joking.” Dustin informed the older boy.
With that, Eddie reached to the back of his head and brushed his hand over his hair. As he shifted from the top of his head down towards the nape of his neck, he felt the sticky wad of chewing gum, causing his curls to tangle up.
Laughter erupted across the cafeteria, as Eddie’s gaze shifted to the disruption his eyes met Jason’s who shot him a smirk and a wink. Further proving Eddie’s theory that the asshole that was Jason Carver had, in fact, been the culprit of this incident.
“Eddie, I could call Steve, his hair guy could probably fix you right up.” Dustin offered.
“Hell no. The last thing I want to do is get help from Steve.” Eddie scoffed.
“We could just cut it out.” Mike shrugged.
“Fuck it. Call Steve.” Eddie conceded.
Dustin and Eddie made their way to the school’s payphone. Dustin was quick to dial the number and explain the whole situation to Steve once he picked up. Steve had offered to take Eddie to his hair guy, but only if Eddie asked nicely and said please…which he reluctantly choked out over the phone.
“I’ll come pick you up.” Steve told Eddie, before hanging up.
Fifteen minutes later, Steve pulled up to the school in his burgundy BMW, yelling at Eddie to “hop in”. The drive started off in an uncomfortable silence. This was the first time Eddie had hung out with Steve alone, not that they were hanging out.
“So, listen Eddie, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, knows that this is where I get my hair done and honestly I’d like to keep it that way.” Steve explained.
“Okay…you’re freaking me out. Where is this place?” Eddie said as he looked around the unfamiliar neighborhood.
“Just up here on the left.” Steve said, pulling up in front of a hair salon.
Eddie initially felt confused, he figured that Steve would go to a barber, like any other guy from school, but this actually made a lot of sense. Steve cared about his hair the way any girl would and he’s very particular about it so naturally he would go somewhere that would take better care of his hair.
As they made their way up the curb, Eddie was able to get a better look of the inside. It was painted mostly black but there were bright pops of hot pink and teal around the place. There were pink velvet couches and those smiley face daisy pillows strewn about them. There was only one employee in the place, and she was currently blow drying some girl’s hair.
Eddie’s eyes scanned the hair stylist, you were beautiful you had pink streaks in your hair, dark tattoos littering your arms and a nose ring. You took Eddie’s breath away.
“Steven Harrington you better not be back here to ask me to cut your hair shorter. You made me take so much off last time and I still haven’t gotten over it!” You shrieked.
“Would you relax! I’m not here for a haircut, I’m here with my uh, my friend.” Steve said, glancing over at Eddie.
“Hi Steve’s friend! Oh, my goodness your hair is beautiful! Please don’t tell me you want me to cut it off!”
Your theatrics were making Eddie’s heart sing. The compliment had him blushing.
“God no! I don’t want to cut my hair, that’s actually why I’m here.” Eddie exclaimed.
“He got gum stuck in his hair.” Steve replied waving him off.
“I didn’t get shit stuck in my hair. That asshole Jason Carver spit gum in my hair.” Eddie explained.
“Ugh the Carver boys are all terrors. I remember being a sophomore when Michael Carver was a senior and if he wasn’t the biggest douche bag, then I don’t know who was.” You said, shaking your head. You shifted your gaze over to where Eddie and Steve were sitting. “Wait a minute! I know you, Eddie Munson, we had freshman English together!” You said, reintroducing yourself to him.
“I knew you looked familiar!” Eddie smiled.
You told him that you’d be with him in just a minute, you wanted to get your client finished up and checked out. He watched in awe as you effortlessly sectioned and styled her hair, led her over to the register and cleaned your station quickly. He noticed you gathering a few things, which he could only assume would be for him.
“Okay come over and sit!” You gestured to your chair. As Eddie made himself comfortable you began explaining what you were going to do. “So, I am basically going to load your hair up with oil which should allow the gum to slide out. I will wash your hair after too, so you don’t leave here looking like a greasy mess. I have a reputation to uphold!”
“Okay, thanks.” Eddie said, pushing his bangs out of his eyes.
“If you want I can trim your hair too, just clean it up, make it so your bangs aren’t in your eyes so much.” You offered.
“Oh um, that would be great but I uh, I don’t have any…”
“It’s on the house Eddie. Just a favor for a friend.” You said quietly.
Eddie nodded slightly and you got to work, slipping on some gloves, and pouring the hair oil into your hands. You started working it into his hair, really targeting the areas around the chewing gum. Slowly but surely the gum started to untangle itself from Eddie’s chocolate tresses. Once the gum was completely out, you led Eddie over to the shampoo bowl and proceeded to wash his hair. You couldn’t help but smile down at the soft expression he wore on his face. His eyes had fluttered shut and you thought he truly could have been asleep the way his face was relaxed. After washing, conditioning and finally rinsing his hair, you gently grasped his shoulder.
“Eddie, you ready for me to cut your hair?”
“Huh? Oh yeah.” Eddie said, carefully getting up and heading back to your chair.
Eddie sat and you and him chatted back and forth as you trimmed his hair. You had made sure to communicate through every part of the process, which products you were using and why, the way you were cutting his hair and adding in some natural layering to help with the bulk, trimming his bangs a little shorter than he was used to so they wouldn’t be too long so quickly. You pulled out the hair dryer and attached the diffuser, explaining what it did to Eddie and letting him know that blow drying definitely isn’t necessary for him to do.
Steve couldn’t help the shit-eating grin that plastered its way on his face at the interaction playing out before him. He had never seen Eddie sit still this long or listen this intently to anyone. Steve couldn’t help but think that Eddie had better thank him for bringing him here.
“Alright Eddie you are all set.”
“Thank you so much, seriously! I really appreciate it and I don’t think my hair has ever looked or felt this good.” Eddie said, admiring your handywork.
“Of course! And by the way if you ever get gum in your hair again, peanut butter or cooking oil can get it out, it just takes a bit of work.” You explained. “But know that you can always come here, and I can help too!” You couldn’t help but mentally facepalm.
“Yeah. That sounds good! You know, I would need your number…you know to get a hold of you..” Eddie smirked.
He couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of thanks toward Jason Carver…he had brought you into his life, all with a piece of chewing gum.
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orbmanson7 · 1 year
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This is probably obvious but I just want to point it out because I find it interesting: all these new hidden videos are from Wally's perspective.
(Spoilers under the cut)
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Watching the videos in order (1-14) makes this very obvious right away, as the first video literally shows Wally's hands in front of him, holding onto some yarn.
He stands or sits in complete silence in every one of these videos as he hears the others around him have their little encounters, full of drama and jokes. He does not ever speak up, and he rarely moves, as though he's incapable of joining in or in some sort of trance or dissociating from the moment.
And the video always distorts and cuts off the moment Wally's name is mentioned, just after he's finally been acknowledged.
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There are some moments where he seems to be aware and capable of movement, like having been the one to move this box (or maybe it's just an advertisement standee) near the end of Howdy and Sally's conversation and it causes Howdy to notice that he's there.
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There's also this moment where the dialogue doesn't quite match with where Wally would be looking, as Eddie mentions Wally looking past him silently and that's how Eddie realizes Barnaby is coming up behind them. If what we see is Wally never looking away from what appears to be letters scattered on the ground, perhaps this means these moments are not happening as they play out, but rather the memory of the moment, the part Wally can remember?
(However, it's also possible this was just a limitation of resources as it would be very difficult to play out this particular scene in the exact way it was scripted.)
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But given that the last hidden video seems to show that Wally has stopped painting as Barnaby is talking to Home, and he even acknowledges this fact, that Wally seems to be unresponsive when he speaks to him, this leans more into the former theory, that this scene is fully playing out while Wally is silent and unmoving, staring at a single spot, only really able to hear what's happening around him.
I have my own personal ideas about this, mostly circulating around the prospect of a puppet being an inanimate object and a potential vessel for one who's dissociating, that this may be a trauma response, or maybe even that lack of acknowledgement leaves Wally immobile, that if eyes are not on him then he can't participate or just ceases to be himself.
And it's old news to mention this by now but Wally's profile on the website talks a hell of a lot more about Barnaby and Home than it does about Wally himself, meaning these in-universe site curators know very little about this character compared to the others (despite him being in nearly every piece of media they've found). Wally lacks character and individualized personality among the cast of quirky characters surrounding him, as though he's either forcibly kept back from expressing himself or he's not actually meant to be there at all and is simply attempting as best he can to fit in.
He's an enigma of a character at this point from what we do know, but being able to see from his perspective has certainly been...enlightening.
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relaxxattack · 1 year
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ok yeah lots of memes about how the shitty new UI is literally a direct carbon copy of twitter and we hate it because of that, yea yea
here’s some actual/extra reasons why the UI itself is shitty beyond the fact that it’s stolen from twitter (in just my personal opinion)
it’s claustrophobic as hell. the old UI felt breathable, felt like you could scroll and actually look at your posts, and now there’s enough shit going on on one page that it actually gives me a headache. (i’ve heard other people say this as well, so maybe it’s not just me that’s overstimulated by all the fucking noise on the dash?)
the ‘dash sorting’ (for you / your tags / what you missed) is way too high up the page now and appears crowded against the top where things like the bookmarks bar are on most browsers. not that anything in this new UI isn’t crowded.
i’ve seen it mentioned plenty already, but there’s quite a lot of unnecessary duplication-- as in, the same buttons that exist in the new left navigation panel show up on the right in blog view, which is just completely annoying and unneeded clutter.
the fact that post interaction options are all on the right side of the posts, but dashboard navigation is now all pushed to the far left of display, is extremely annoying. i’m right-handed, so it’s extra annoying for me to have to constantly go all the way over there. maybe that’s easier for left-handed people, but if the case was supporting diversity, why not just put an option in dashboard preferences to switch the side of ALL the controls? because the post interactions are still on the right.
while we’re on the subject-- tumblr’s original design was actually MUCH more intuitive and easy to navigate. the reason for this is that everything you needed to click was in one small area. you scroll up and down the dash, move slightly up to navigate (home/asks/notifications) and slightly down to the side to interact with a post (reblog/reply). extremely simple, easy to use, even ‘lazy + addicting’, which is what all social media studio exes are supposed to want right now. changing the ui to actually be more work and more frustrating to navigate seems completely opposed to what their obvious business strategy should be.
tumblr’s original design was also much more breathable, with the small icons in the corner looking organized and not taking up much space, and lots of room for the posts themselves to be the main attraction.
there’s the fact that copying someone else’s brand entirely actually just puts you in a bigger, wider pool with much more competition, and makes you much more likely to immediately fall short of that and go bankrupt.
tumblr's original purpose was to be geared toward blogs, and these updates, along with the writing on the wall about blog themes being completely phased out soon, is completely against the original purpose. although sometimes website purposes change for the better, so take that as you will.
and finally the obvious point that you can tell from all the memes: this change is almost universally hated by the core tumblr userbase-- aka the site’s loyal consumers for years and years. driving out their main demographic seems like a very obvious, very quick way to lose a lot of fucking money. they also did this “carbon copy of twitter” update literally just a week after sitewide protest about the idea of this site being anything like twitter, so it feels like a massive Fuck You to literally all of the users. tumblr is rapidly approaching their trust thermocline, and show no sign of slowing down.
these are just my opinions about the ui, and i’m only one person. so feel free to add on other design flaws you think people should be aware of or able to mention! i will probably also be submitting this post as feedback to staff, and will be taking their surveys when i can as well.
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