#non-binary anxiety

[periru3]

Like. I KNOW it isn’t silly to be nervous about wearing a binder in public for the first time in like 6 years. Especially when the last time was in college. And I had a bajillion queer friends. And this time is to a not specifically gay bar where I vaguely know a couple people. And I’ve historically presented as really femme in this setting. But it still FEELS silly to be nervous about like…. Conspicuous GNC presentation when I came out as genderqueer like 12 years ago.

While trying to explain this to my partner every explanation of what felt silly was just the dumbest thing I’ve ever said. I was like “it’s that I feel so good when I look like this I worry other people will look at me and be like………… ‘they look happy, how embarrassing?’ But like… that’s so dumb.”

I feel like I’m playing dress up and everyone around me is going to simultaneously call me on it.

Which is ridiculous. No one’s even gonna comment on it.

So I’m simultaneously like there’s no actual need to feel anxious but also it’s STILL a super normal and reasonable thing to feel anxious about and guilting myself for feeling anxious or saying I’m too old to feel that anxiety is just…. Not making the situation any better.

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Pre-aa

Roman: go away Anxiety, we don't want some weird bad guy here!

Virgil: not bad

Roman: you-

Virgil: and not a guy

Roman:

Virgil: but the word weird was correct in that sentence

[aventurineswife]

Hihi! I was wondering if I could request Dan Heng, Jiaoqiu, and Sunday with a s/o who is non-binary but has been struggling to tell them?

To be known and loved is to be truly seen

Tags: Dan Heng x Reader, Jiaoqiu x Reader, AE!Sunday x Reader, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Conversations, Gender Identity Exploration, Non-Binary Reader Insert, Acceptance and Support, Soft Relationships, Found Family Themes, Light Angst

Warnings: Discussions of gender dysphoria (brief), Mild emotional distress, Anxiety themes, Supportive yet sensitive handling of identity issues(?), Comfort after emotional vulnerability.

Dan Heng stood at his post on the Astral Express, his usual calm demeanor betraying no sign of emotion. His fingers lightly gripped the hilt of his spear as his sharp gaze scanned the horizon through the train’s viewport. It was a quiet, tranquil moment—the kind he often sought in the midst of his hectic duties. Yet, there was a quiet tension in his chest, an unease he couldn’t quite place.

It had been several weeks now since he’d first met you, a quiet, introspective soul who had quickly become an integral part of his world. You were always there, by his side, whether he was patrolling, meditating, or simply walking the halls of the train. Dan Heng couldn’t deny the subtle warmth he felt when you were near—something about your presence put his mind at ease. But recently, a subtle shift had occurred. He noticed you fidgeting, speaking less, as though burdened by a weight you refused to share.

“Is something wrong?” he asked one evening when you found yourselves alone in the train’s quiet corridor.

Your gaze flitted to the floor, a hand nervously tugging at the edge of your sleeve. “It’s nothing, Dan Heng. Don’t worry about me.”

He didn’t press further, but something in your voice felt off. There was something you weren’t saying, something that hung between you like an unspoken truth. He had a feeling that it wasn’t nothing at all.

Days passed, and the quiet unease gnawed at him. He’d seen you hide it behind your smiles and soft laughter, but your unease was palpable to him. For all his stoic nature, Dan Heng had always been able to sense when something was wrong—when people around him needed something they weren’t saying. But this? This was different. His mind wandered through the possibilities. Was it something to do with your past? Or perhaps you were frustrated with your role on the Express?

It wasn’t until a late-night conversation in the dimly lit cabin that the truth came to light.

“I—I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while,” you began, your voice almost a whisper. Your hands trembled as you clasped them tightly in your lap, a nervous habit Dan Heng had come to recognize. “It’s just… it’s hard.”

Dan Heng’s expression softened, and he turned toward you fully, his attention fixed entirely on you. “You don’t have to explain everything at once. Take your time.”

There was a long pause, and for a moment, the only sound was the soft hum of the train. Finally, you spoke again, your words slow but deliberate. “I’m non-binary. I don’t fit into either the role of a man or a woman, and… I’ve been struggling with how to tell you.”

The words hung in the air, fragile as glass. Dan Heng remained silent for a moment, his gaze searching your face, trying to read the emotions beneath the words. He could see the uncertainty in your eyes, the vulnerability in your posture. Slowly, he reached out, gently placing a hand on yours.

“It doesn’t matter to me,” he said quietly. “You are you. And I am honored to stand by your side, no matter what.”

A quiet relief washed over you, and you looked up at him, meeting his eyes for the first time. A faint smile tugged at your lips, and Dan Heng felt a warmth fill his chest.

“I’m glad you told me,” he murmured, his voice low. “You can always be yourself around me. I’ll never judge you for who you are.”

In that moment, the weight you’d been carrying seemed to lift, if only for a little while. Dan Heng’s quiet support meant more to you than any words could express.

The soft scent of herbs and medicinal oils filled the air. It was a quiet evening, and the flickering light of lanterns cast gentle shadows on the walls as Jiaoqiu worked, grinding the ingredients for his latest formula. His fox-like ears twitched as he adjusted the flow of alchemical concoctions, his mind focused on the precision of his work. But despite his calm exterior, his thoughts often wandered back to you—the person he had been thinking about all day.

‘You haven’t been yourself lately.’ Jiaoqiu thought, stirring the potion in his hands. He had known you for a long time, admired your strength, but recently there had been something… off. You had been quieter, more withdrawn, as if there was some burden weighing on your heart. The compassion that guided Jiaoqiu in his work extended beyond the physical, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something deeper was troubling you.

He looked up from his work, and there you were—standing just inside the doorway, your figure framed by the dim glow of the lanterns. The hesitation in your gaze was evident.

“Are you alright?” Jiaoqiu asked, his voice gentle yet sharp with concern. He set down his mortar and pestle, his perceptive nature already picking up on your discomfort. “You’ve been distant.”

You shifted uncomfortably before slowly walking towards him. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something, Jiaoqiu. I… I’m not sure how you’ll take it.”

Jiaoqiu raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt. His expression softened, his hands resting by his side. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, right?”

The words came slowly, and there was an almost tangible tension between you. “I’m non-binary. I don’t identify as either male or female, and… I’ve been so afraid to tell you. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Jiaoqiu’s expression softened, his ears flickering with understanding. He stepped closer to you, his hand reaching out gently to rest on your shoulder. “Disappoint me? You could never disappoint me.”

You hesitated, but Jiaoqiu gave a small, reassuring smile. “I understand. I don’t expect you to fit into any mold. You are who you are. And I appreciate you for exactly that.”

A sigh of relief escaped you, and you looked up at him. “You really mean that?”

“I do,” Jiaoqiu replied. “In fact, I’ve always admired your strength. The way you carry yourself, how you face every challenge. That’s what matters.”

For the first time in a long while, a genuine smile appeared on your face, and the tension seemed to ease from your shoulders. Jiaoqiu’s smile widened, and he gently squeezed your shoulder. “You’re not alone in this. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

Sunday sat in the quiet room of the Astral Express, his fingers delicately tracing the patterns on the edge of his golden ornament, the glimmer of the halo behind his head casting an ethereal glow. His thoughtful gaze rested on the view outside, but his mind was far away, lost in the complicated emotions that lay beneath his composed exterior.

There was a problem that had been on his mind lately. You had been acting strangely—distant, hesitant. He’d seen you flinch at the smallest things, and your silence had grown more pronounced. He couldn’t help but feel concerned, but at the same time, he couldn’t deny the twisted part of him that wondered if you were simply afraid of what he was.

But even as he questioned your distance, he knew there was something more. Something deeper.

“Sunday...” your voice broke through his thoughts, soft and tentative.

He turned toward you, his eyes locking onto yours with a gentle, almost serene gaze. “Yes?”

There was a long silence as you stood there, shifting your weight from foot to foot. “I… I’ve been meaning to tell you something important.”

Sunday’s expression softened, his tone warm but serious. “You know you can tell me anything. Whatever it is, it won’t change how I feel about you.”

You bit your lip, and after a long pause, you finally spoke. “I’m non-binary. I don’t identify as male or female, and I’ve been struggling to find the right way to tell you.”

Sunday blinked, his halo subtly shifting behind him as his mind processed your words. For a moment, he said nothing, his gaze steady as he took in your vulnerability.

When he finally spoke, his voice was calm but firm. “You are exactly who you are, and that is all that matters. I do not view you through any lens other than the one that sees your worth and your spirit.”

His words were simple, yet there was an undeniable warmth in them, a sincerity that reached deep within your heart.

“You are perfect just as you are,” Sunday continued, his expression softening. “In this world, where everything seems to crumble under the weight of suffering, the only thing that matters to me is that you’re here. With me. And that we’re together.”

The softness in your gaze grew, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to truly relax in his presence. His acceptance was unwavering, a balm to the wounds you had carried for so long.

“Thank you, Sunday,” you whispered.

He smiled, a quiet, knowing smile. “Of course, dove.”

[bisexualchaosdemon]

Can you tell Jeanne is suffering the same pregnancy anxiety I used to?

[knight-elkwarden]

Personally, I would like to just vibe without having to worry about my mere existence becoming illegal, what about you?

[d3nt41isamenace]

There is WAAAAYYY too many people at my house rn since it's Easter but I immediately started panicking at the amount of people and ran into my room. WHYYY MUST INTERACT WITH HUMANS????? I just ended up eating in my room and listening to music- ye

[void-does-not-sleep]

Do any other autistic/neurodivergent peeps struggle with feeling real or just existing in general? Like dissociation and stuff aside I genuinely find it hard to sometimes believe I’m a real person who is existing on earth. I know autistic people feeling like an alien is a common experience but I want to see if there’s anything else to it.

I find it easier to relate to characters and see myself in them like “hey thats me!” Type of way. Also in general I kinda see myself as a character almost? I feel like I’m naturally kinda animated with my movements and the way I talk but once again this is probably just the autism and me acting not according to social norms.

On top of relating to characters (call it kinning if you want) also relating a lot with non human creatures (animals included) and seeing myself as more of a creature than human.

Really not sure what to call this, maybe it’s just me trying to cope with life and disconnect from human responsibilities cause it’s too much for me.

I won’t even get into gender stuff cause it’s equally as confusing. I prefer they/he pronouns and say I’m nonbinary transmasc but am i really? I’d prefer to be a genderless fairy with no genitals if I had a choice.

Please if anyone else relates or knows why I feel like this let me know. Any support is appreciated.

[leftabit-leftabit]

Anyone else feel guilty correcting someone when they use the wrong pronouns for them?

I mean, I know it's still early days and I understand that it'll take a while for 'They/Them' to become the only/ 'go to' pronouns for me. People forget, yes, they're only human and my family are trying so bloody hard, and they'll even correct themselves if/when they catch it.

I just don't want to be that overbearing person who has to constantly correct anyone and everyone. But then if I brush it off and not mention it, I know if I don't say anything that it'll just happen again.

Either way, they both make me feel bad.

Anxiety sucks! *Shakes fist*

[3gremlins]

ugh i think i have assembled a pretty good gender outfit for my cousin's wedding (my final cousin's wedding, barring any of them getting divorced/remarrying) but if anyone else invites me to another wedding, i'm just going to wear either this look (summer goth fairy but with pink & silver to make it formal- pink & silver vest, sleevless formal tank under, tulle skirt in either black or pink i have both and haven't decided, silver shoes/jewelry/etc) or the one i did for the previous cousin wedding (punk but formal and for winter-poet shirt, vest, kilt, boots) and ignoring all further dress requirements. basically because i can't afford to spend more money or time or thought processes on it b/c boy howdy, is it expensive to attend weddings. be happy i am there and wearing clothes. (this cousin's one was especially confusing b/c they "want people to dress snappy/formal but ALSO wanted people to take inspiration from the following: country western, retro glam, hobbitcore and generally be funky and wear colors. which is so confusing, fam, what are we doing here, these things are not like each other. their pinterest "take inspiration from these" board was also all over the map, fashionwise so like idk)

i've also been swinging wildly between "well i'm the most visibly non binary queer cousin/family members so your silly gendered occasion outfits don't apply to me" and "but i do want to look nice" so that's been fun. sometimes it's rough being nonbinary and genderqueer tho (i think in summer i feel more femme pulled and in winter i feel more masc so summer look is going to be more femme for sure). my hair is also currently hot pink so i've been gravitating towards pink, black & silver anyway.

[vroomvroomwee]

On today's question: Are you really socially awkward, or do you just not know how to act as your assigned gender at birth?

[swifty-fox]

Dressing up to not go out

[milimeters-morales]

okay i’m deep in the metaphorical transfem miles world but imagine where NOBODY (except for the crew in ITSV & they won’t out her) knows that she’s Miles because she’s been going by Maya the entire time. So there comes a moment where Maya has to slip back into being Miles very suddenly, and people mistake her very good but halting boy impression as her experiencing a sort of anxiety attack or sudden dysphoria because she’s making herself present as a guy, so they swoop in and “save the day” so she doesn’t have to do that anymore. (“They” in this situation is anyone that wasn’t in ITSV) In reality, it was her not being ready to slip back into being Miles, something she’s normally completely fine with, but Maya’s just so awkward and very expressive that it looked like something way more serious. All this to say that I think being able to immediately change your voice is an amazing skill I think she would use more if she was prepared

[flowers-inverted]

*clears throat* I like sports anime cuz it's extremely predictable and isn't as triggering for my anxiety!

Thanks for listening, that was hard to admit.

[willtheweirdrat]

"estrogen based system" "testosterone based system" well I'm a cortisol based system and I'm coming for everyone