#nonono but seriously

[punknatch]

Once again, I listened the audible for brief lives and I'm sad...again

[prisonguards]

after that ep im just thinking about jimmy hanging out more with joel and getting friendly with hermes and then hermes calls jimmy dad or sth like that and just Gay and jimmy is like oh no im attatched to this child and im in love with his dad and he thinks i am also his dad just djgdjshdhjs gay people

JOEL SHOULDVE MADE A LAW ABT RESPECTING HIS CHILD…. I need this. I need this so bad I need Jimmy to learn to care about Hermes. holy FUCK. the romance movies are spinning in my head rn this is so cute this is such a cute romance arc… melting…

[xxkcdcc]

Locking in as fuck no eating

[siroldfashionloverboy]

> have our first deep convo being about angels and their disgusting offspring with mortals

> fucking find out years later

About the nickels

[marchessa]

Oh, boy. Someone stop me before I write that

[sharlsworld]

⋆⭒˚.⋆ parents these days - 𝐋𝐍𝟒 𖤓

（ 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 ）𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝗑 𝗅𝖾𝖼𝗅𝖾𝗋𝖼 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

（ 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ）𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌𝗇𝗍 𝖺 𝗋𝖾𝗀𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗋 𝖽𝖺𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗌 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝖽𝖺𝖽，𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗆 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾

𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 ✫ 𝗂’𝗆 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝖺 𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗋𝗇 𝗀𝗎𝗒𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗆𝖾 😭

🝮

landonorris

liked by logansargeant and 1,982,446 others

landonorris we miss our mommy

georgerussell63 Who left you in charge of a 1 month old and a 2 year old?

⤷ landonorris i’m their dad??

⤷ georgerussell63 And??

yn i miss my boys too 🥹🥹 & don’t forget to pick up mathéo’s ointment

♥︎ by author

⤷ all4lando she’s such a mom i love it 😭

francisca.cgomes our??

⤷ landonorris she was my mommy first

⤷ francisca.cgomes you’re disgusting

joris__trouche Justice for Malachi 💔 0.5’s are not his friend 😞

⤷ yn are you implying my son doesn’t look cute joris?? 🤨

⤷ joris__trouche Nonono you and lando make the most beautiful babies in the world

leclerc_pascale My boys 🥰 We need to gave a family dinner soon

⤷ landonorris YES PLEASE i’m in need of your pasta right now

⤷ leclerc_pascale Come over and bring the boys, I just made some

⤷ landonorris already in the car

arthur_leclerc i bet they miss uncle art so much 🥰 i’m coming over right now dw

⤷ landonorris i’m locking the door

⤷ arthur_leclerc girl…i have a spare key

⤷ yn since when?

⤷ arthur_leclerc me & charles snuck in when you guys were sleeping 🥰

⤷ charles_leclerc Hey don’t expose me

🝮

yn

liked by oscarpiastri and 3,331,747 others

yn back with my boys 🤍

landonorris first

leclerc_pascale Have fun on your date night!! Love you two 🤍

⤷ lorenzotl Not to much fun though, I don’t need another nephew right now

⤷ arthur_leclerc seriously do you guys ever just lay in bed?

⤷ landonorris i am incapable of that you’re lucky we’re not on baby number 6

⤷ arthur_leclerc oh!

maxverstappen1 Pussy whipped

⤷ landonorris damn right

charles_leclerc Finally he wouldn’t stop calling me to tell me he misses you

alexandrasaintmleux The sweetest baby boys 🥹 I love them so much

⤷ landonorris woah now i’m a devoted and loyal husband to y/n alexandra

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux 😐 blocked

carlossainz55 I miss my nephews I will be over soon to kidnap them ❤️

⤷ yn sounds great los 🫰🏽

⤷ sharls_leclercussy “los” i’m crying 🥹

danielricciardo Gurl boss ✊🏽

🝮

landonorris

liked by georgerussell63 and 1,128,632 others

landonorris moms such a party pooper 💔 she wouldn’t let me paint the boys yellow and dress them up as minions

charles_leclerc Do you all just lay in bed all day? And do nothing?

⤷ landonorris would you like it to be just me and y/n in bed alone doing something?

⤷ charles_leclerc I will come sleep in between you two lando norris

mlnmarta Chiara misses Mathéo & Malachi!! We need to visit soon 🤍

⤷ yn yess come over!!

georgerussell63 We must make this happen I can’t get the image out of my head

francisca.cgomes hot mama 😍😍🥵

⤷ landonorris real she can spank me anytime she wants

⤷ mclaren Please do not make us take over your social media again Lando.

yn i’ll put you in timeout

⤷ landonorris please do 🫦🫦

🝮

yn

liked by susie_wolff and 3,435,189 others

yn my babiesss 🤍 living my dream

carmenmmundt So happy for you baby 🥹 You’re so cute I miss you

⤷ yn carmen ilysm 😭💝

alexandrasaintmleux Seriously though, our shopping date when? 🤨🤨

⤷ yn tomorrow 😫

francisca.cgomes MILF MILF MILF

⤷ carmenmmundt MILF MILF MILF

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux MILF MILF MILF

⤷ lilymhe MILF MILF MILF

⤷ lilyzneimer MILF MILF MILF

⤷ landonorris MILF MILF MILF 🤤🥵🍆🍑

landonorris let me put another baby in you please please please mommy 😈😈😫🍆

⤷ yn lando…we’ve talked about what’s appropriate to comment and what’s not

⤷ mclaren Come on bro 😔

⤷ francisca.cgomes take away his social media rights‼️‼️‼️

leclerc_pascale My beautiful girl and her beautiful family🥰

lilymhe ok period aesthetic queen

haileybeiber literally my pintrest board

carla.brocker i miss you sweet girl 💕

⤷ yn i miss you we need to have a sleepover soon 🥹

⤷ flowers444yn y/n still having sleepovers as a wife and mom of 2 kids is so on brand

landoslove this post was for the girls

⤷ landonorris don’t forget lando 😍😇🥰

🝮

landonorris

liked by mclaren and 3,892,715 others

landonorris Enjoying Barcelona with my family ❤️

arthur_leclerc yk it’s not lando because he’s using auto caps

thisistotallynotlando they didn’t take away my burner account 🤣🫵🏽 i can’t be stopped

♥︎ 1,729,143

alex_albon free lando till it’s backwards ✊🏽

pierregasly YOU WILL BE AVENGED LANDO

georgerussell63 This definitely sounds like lando 👍

oscarpiastri Very convincing

slutmeoutlewis they actually took over his account again 😭😭

hoeforsainzzz justice for lando

thisistotallynotlando not gonna be a little family for long 😈

lordperceval petition for lando to get his account back ✊🏽

♥︎ by alex_albon and 1,113,648 others

🝮

yn

liked by patrickdempsy and 3,790,631 others

yn do you wanna play mermaids with us?

alexandrasaintmleux My love 🫦🫦

beloved.hamilton where are mathéo & malachi at??

⤷ yn with their dad 😊

carmenmmundt My mermaid tail is purple

oscarpiastri Come back down lando can’t talk to you cause they took his phone and he’s tweaking

⤷ sharls.eclair THEY TOOK HIS PHONE 😭

francisca.cgomes damn ma

leclerc_pascale Beautiful girls ❤️

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux 🥰🥰❤️

⤷ yn thank you maman 🤍

charles_leclerc My girls ♥️♥️

⤷ yn ♥️

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux 💋♥️

mclaren i miss you baby - lando

⤷ maxverstappen1 LMFAO GIRL 💀

⤷ sharls_lerklerk max?? 😭

landosfootfungus where’s lando’s comment?? 😪

⤷ yn he’s in social media jail rn

lilymhe SO GORGEOUS UGH 😫

georgerussell63 The last slide is actually lando and y/n is you guys didn’t know

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux Actually 🤓☝🏽

🝮

landonorris

liked by tomholland2013 and 5,167,765 others

landonorris 3 weeks of good behavior and i got my account back. and what did i do in those 3 weeks of good behavior? i got my wife pregnant again 😊

arthur_leclerc sick bastard (i’m so excited)

lorenzotl I jinxed it 😪

yn baby girl norris?? 😇

leclerc_pascale Can’t wait to meet my new grand baby 🥰

alexandrasaintmleux yayaya so happy rn

carmenmmundt You two make the cutest babies it’s not even funny 🥹🥹

francisca.cgomes YESYESYES SO EXCITED

joris__trouche Crazyy congrats you two 💞

maxfewtrell Leave that poor girl alone

carlossainz55 UNCLE CHILI 🌶️❤️

flavy.barla Awhh so happy for you two 💗

ciscanorris Another one! 🩵🩷

charles_leclerc WHY DO YOU DO THIS?? MY BABY SISTER?? JUST LAY IN BED AND SLEEP ONCE IN A WHILE OH MY FUCK

⤷ lilymhe anways…CONGRATULATIONS 🥹

🝮

yn

liked by krisjenner and 7,762,831 others

yn matthew senna norris 🤍

comments on this post have been limited

landonorris i love you baby thank you giving me everything i’ve ever wanted and more ♥️

⤷ yn i love you more

⤷ landonorris i love you the most

alexandrasaintmleux baby matty 🥹🥹

leclerc_pascale Another boy, are we surprised? He’s the cutest boy in the world

georgerussell63 Coming over now

carmenmmundt Stopp how cute 💗

charles_leclerc Je t'aime ma petite étoile

⤷ sharlsworld “i love you my little star”

arthur_leclerc project senna

mclaren Future world champ 🧡

lorenzotl Maybe another one isn’t so bad

oscarpiastri Malachi is barley 2 months old??

⤷ landonorris i want a football team. it’s not my fault my wife is so sexy and i’m horny 25/8???

francisca.cgomes auntie kiki is coming baby!! 💓

lilymhe cutie boy 🥹🩵

maxverstappen1 Now get a vesectomy lando ❤️

♥︎ by landonorris & 2,223,841 others

[tojipie]

what would it be like if toji had a needy cry baby gf 😣😣😣

this is such a cute ask omg :(( had so much fun writing this! enjoy

content: anxiety, hurt/comfort, fluff

the telltale sound of a buzzing phone wakes you from your catnap. you shift on the couch, lifting your head from toji’s lap to gather yourself.

“what is it?” he mumbles, pulling your blanket back over your shoulders to keep you warm. the hum of the TV almost lulls you back asleep, eyes fluttering shut.

“mm y’r phone is ringing.” you whisper groggily, rubbing your eye with the back of your hand.

“you wanna go get it for me?” toji asks, pressing a kiss to your hairline as you stand up from the couch, blanket still wrapped tight around your shoulders.

“it’s probably on the bathroom counter.” he notes, kissing you again as a thank you. he was always tender with you when you were sleepy. your heart soars as you make your way upstairs and into your shared room.

you can practically feel the ringing as you cross the threshold of the bedroom door, padding past the bed and into the connected bathroom with a hum.

he must’ve forgotten it here when the two of you had showered earlier you reason, shading your eyes from the lights the two of you left on.

you head towards the counter, grabbing the device and immediately dropping it onto the solid tile.

WHACK

… shit

“shitshitshit.” you curse, toji’s ringtone coming to a stop as soon as the phone had hit the floor.

your heart sinks to your feet all the way through the marbled tile and into the dirt as you approach the device, praying the sound it’d made on impact wasn’t as serious as you remembered.

“no.. nonono oh my god.” you whisper, immediately crouching down to pick his phone up off the floor, eyes filling with tears as you try to gauge the damage.

just as you feared, a massive crack running down one corner to another. the bottom left corner of the screen was completely blacked out save for a few blinking pixels around the edge, it’s touch screen barely responsive as your thumb runs along the electronic gash

hot tears run down your face as you realize the seriousness of what you’d done. toji needed this phone for work, practically had it on him at all times except for when he was at home.

he’d be mad at you, right? this was serious damage, something neither of you could brush off. his kindness only went so far you gathered.

and since when was bathroom tile that destructive? god, you were going to throw up.

“you ok?” your boyfriend yells from downstairs, turning your blood cold.

“yup!” you respond, voice shaking a little more than you intended. your wrap your blanket tighter around your quivering body, quickly wiping your tears with the soft fabric.

“who was calling?”

you curse again, tapping the shattered screen to try and look at the caller ID. you can barely make out shiu’s name with all the damage.

“it’s shiu.” you yell back, trying to soothe the redness around your eyes and nose in the mirror.

the stairs creak as you wobble downstairs, cheeks still wet with fresh tears. what were you even going to tell him? that you dropped his phone once and now it was practically unusable?

“hey thank you sweet gi—”

Toji’s face falls at the sight of you, immediately standing up to wrap you in his arms. your quiet sniffles turn into full blown sobbing as you clutch the phone to your chest, trying your best to hide it from him.

“what’s wrong pretty?” your boyfriend whispers, rubbing your back with a huge hand. the older man presses soft kisses to your cheeks and forehead, leading you over to the couch and pulling you into his warm lap.

“i dropped your phone.” you whimper, shaky hands fiddling with the device as you prepare to disappoint the love of your life.

“yeah?” toji mumbles understandingly. “let’s see it baby, don’t worry.” he reassures you, taking his phone from your lap and turning it over.

“it’s just it was still wet cause you were answering a text in the shower and it slipped from my hand and—”

you gauge his face for an inevitable scowl, maybe a scoff. whatever it was, you deserved it.

instead, toji smiles.

“oh my god.” you whimper. was he so mad that he had no choice to smile? was there simply not any other expression to convey how upset he was?

toji surprises you again as he throws the phone to the side, letting it bounce across the couch cushions.

“that’s it?” he laughs, rubbing up and down your sides.

“you sniffle again, wiping your eyes.

“whadduya mean that’s it… i broke it.” you practically sob, turning to get up from his lap.

warm hands circle around your arms, leading your smaller body back to his chest. the older man wipes your cheeks with both thumbs, pressing an impossibly soft kiss to your hairline.

“nothing I can’t get fixed.” he tells you, smoothing your hair away from your face.

“but it’ll be expensive..”

“not for me.” he laughs

“you should be me at me.” you mumble softly, guilt still knawing away at you.

“why would I be mad at you for making a little mistake?” toji’s voice is soft, reassuring. his chest is warm and he smells like a campfire, practically lulling you to sleep with how tenderly he holds you.

“I’ve literally had a bullet go right through my screen baby.” he laughs. “I’ve dropped my phone out of moving cars, I’ve had it run over. you think i don’t replace this thing every month?”

you gasp, head popping up from his shoulder. “a bullet?”

“you can thank shiu for that.” he mumbles, kissing you again.

“what I mean is it’s nothing i can’t fix.” he tells you, reclining onto the couch and pulling you with him. “how could I ever be mad you?” he whispers into your cheek.

you nod, the last of your tears drying up as your body relaxes on top of his. you hated how bad your anxiety got at times, clouding your judgement and effectively convincing you that the world hated you.

“tell you what.” he starts.

“tomorrow how about me and you go pick up a replacement for me, and then get you a new phone too?” he asks tenderly, tracing shapes into your hair with his finger.

“you wanted the new one right? in pink?”

you nod with a giggle, eyes fluttering shut as the sound of your boyfriend’s heartbeat syncs with yours.

“yeah.” you tell him shyly, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “in pink please.”

[yourplayersaidwhat]

The party whose entire thing is to try to avoid combat are in hiding, trying to figure out how to deal with an assassin with an element of surprise on their side

Bard: I could cast Sleep on her that worked with the last unhinged enemy... Ah shit no she is an elf. I am useless then

Rogue: I could do my classic move---

Bard: Exploding all of us like last time?

Rogue: ....no I have given up my magic studies 

Bard: Nonono fireball was good. Just do it when the helpful NPCs are not around her

Rogue: I meant more like getting close to her acrobatically and stabbing her

Bard: Not sure that is gonna be enough

DM [OOC]: Does [Cleric] have poisons maybe?

Cleric [OOC]: No???? Only healing potions??? Why would he???

DM [OOC]: Oh he is taking his oath seriously

Cleric [OOC with a very cheerful voice]: I could put a blood curse on her though!

Once the players stopped laughing, we did do indeed just that. Cleric used his blood hunter multiclass to put a blood curse on her, and Rogue managed to do his acrobatics to subdue her. And so the Avoiding Combat Party managed to avoid combat yet again 

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ AMERICAS SWEET-TARDs

ᯓ★ Homelander is forced to babysit you, the troublemaker of The Seven. Deadpool!reader does not like cooperating, dark humour, goofy stuff, typical cursing, gore, story is set on season 4. Reader is gn (uses they/them pronouns)!!

ᯓ★

How you found yourself in Vought's office is hard to explain. One thing you were bursting into the building of Amazon and the second you're here. You sat on the sofa, looking around as you whistled a tune to save yourself from the boredom.

"Why the fuck am I involved with this?" Your eyes perked up at the distant voices from outside the door.

"I'll explain when we're there"

Oh?

Being the nosy person you are, you got up and pressed the side of your ear against the door to get a better hearing of the conversation.

"Your plan won't come together if you don't settle the pieces in place, and this is your plan so you need to work with me here"

Suddenly it's quiet...

Did they leave?

Before you could react, the door opens and you ended up falling flat on your face. You tilt your head up to see it's Sister Sage and Homelander looking down at you. You chuckle.

"Sooo... you both look angry... did I do something?"

Hearing your question, Sister Sage scoffs at you.

"Did you?? You broke into Amazon's headquarters because they messed up your order. You even threatened to kill their CEO. Do you know how bad that is for the image?"

"I refuse to refer to a person named Jeff Bezo a CEO" You said when you got on your feet while dusting off your knees.

"Besides, I don't have an image. I'm pretty sure that I don't even have a face!!" Hearing your words, Sister Sage can't help but roll her eyes at you.

"Nonono seriously, I do not have a face. All this underneath the mask? It's like smashed up birthday cakes in there—"

"Okay I get it!!" She glares at you... then turning her attention to Homelander who's been listening attentively with his hands behind his back.

"You're babysitting Deadpool" She commanded like an order and he turns to look at her with his brows slightly raised.

"Me?" He said, clearly from his face he looks like he's about to be ticked off.

"Yes, I don't know what is it about them that makes it so hard for me to predict their moves" Just as she said that, she turns to look at you. You bat your eyes at her like a deer caught in headlights.

"Not to mention you're making a shit tons of problems for me to deal with here. You even had Lily be sent for therapy!!" She points at you and you held both your hands up in defeat by the mention of your agent.

"Hey now... All I did was cut off my arm and mailed it to Elon Musk. How else was I gonna give him the middle finger?" Your defense being enough to have her let out a sigh as she looks away.

"I don't care, just don't let them do anything stupid while I go help Firecracker with her script" She said to him and you both watches as she leaves. Once she's gone, he turns to look at you, a displeased expression on his face.

To your surprise, he was really actually TOTALLY doing what she's asking him to. You never saw him take orders like that before, let alone from a WOMAN.

"What was that?!" You exclaimed, both arms thrown towards the hallway where Sister Sage is seen to be walking down.

"What happened to Misogyny?! You're really just gonna let that happen???" You looked at him but he just rolls his eyes at you.

"Shut up. She's done more than you've ever did compared to your years here" He walks past you and ends up sitting down on the sofa. You don't say anything while you watch him go.

You're aware that your inability to die makes him bored of you but you didn't think he'd find you this boring.

Honestly it kinda hurts...

Because now you're gonna have to do more crazy shit to piss him off.

You cleared your throat as you forced up a smile.

"You know what, great talk. I'm gonna go be a good citizen now—"

"You step one foot out of this room and I'll lazer off two of your fucking legs"

"..."

With no idea how to respond to the threat. You stood at the door, looking down at your legs then back up at him... before taking a wide step out of the room.

He let's out an annoyed groan.

"Look I don't see why all of a sudden, you two, give the slightest shit about what I do. Has it ever occurred to you that this is my coping mechanism after YOU SLAUGHTERED NOIR—"

"Oh for christ sake, cry me a fucking river"

"You sure you really want that? 'Cause trust me I can cry the entire Nile river in this very room— and I can't promise you it'll be water" He looks at you and you look back at him, your body still standing a few feet away from the room.

"You done whining?" He asks, his expression showing not even the least of interest in your act. You let out an offended sound.

"Am I done whining?! Do you even know me?? That's LITERALLY all I do!!"

Clearly feeling hurt, you began to storm off. From the distant you could hear Homelander let out an exhausted sigh but you could care less right now.

Man if only you could go back to the first day where you two met.

Oh how traumatised he looked when he saw you cut your ears off in an attempt to escape Stillwell's welcoming speech.

Once you made it to the ground floor, you kicked the entrance door open with your chest slightly puffed out.

Who the hell does Ms. Know-It-All thinks she is to have any authority over you? You're the original member of The Seven for fuck sake.

"Holy shit it's Deadpool!!" A fan, seemingly a teenager points at you and you turned towards their group with your most charming smile.

"Hey now, try not to cream your pants... if you've even reached that stage yet..." Without even letting a second pass, the group stands around you as the one at the front takes out their phone for a selfie.

"Say Chimichangas!!" You said, holding up peace signs.

"Chimichangas!!"

⊹FLASH⊹

Once the picture is taken, the fans are quick to check the results while you scratched the itch on your butt. Once satisfied, they gave you their thanks before walking away.

At the same time you could hear the sound of Homelander approaching you from behind. You let out an annoyed groan before turning to face him but before you could even react, he grabs you roughly by the jaw.

"Years of your shit and you still won't learn your fucking place. If I say something. You do it. Understand?" He glares at you, his teeth gritted as his lips formed his signature psychotic grin.

You stare back and you could feel from his grip that you were being slightly lifted off the ground.

"Well excuse me, my liege. I must have missed the memo about being your personal slave. Is it too late to withdraw my contract?" He stares at you... before letting go of you while looking away out of despise.

"You're a cancer on this earth" He said as he's busy wiping his glove clean on his chest. You simply laugh at his remark.

"AH HAHaa hoo... well... you can always count on me to pop up unannounced" You shoot him a wink and decided to walk away, not really caring much of the consequences if you did.

Seeing you walk away like he's nothing, Homelander clenches his jaw out of irritation.

"You're always testing my patience (Y/N)" He said and you instantly stopped walking when you hear him addressing you by your real name.

"Uuugggh seriously? You ran out of tricks so now you're using my government name? You've gone old, John" You fold your arms as you turned to face him.

Noticing the angry look on his face, you are almost not surprised with what happens next.

⌁ZZZZ⌁

You look down, realising you've been lasered in half. Sounds of people nearby screaming was like background noise for you because you were too focused watching your upper half slide off your lower half... then eventually falling to the ground. You grunt from how annoying the situation has become.

"Ah great... now I'm half the person I used to be..." You partially joked as Homelander picked you effortlessly off the ground before taking you back into the Vought Tower.

"Can you at least tell me why you're taking away my rights as a republican?" You asked with your upper half being carried over his shoulder.

"You don't matter enough to know" He says.

After shooting several finger guns at the horrified employees passing by, you made it back to the office where all of your problems began. You yelp when Homelander just threw your body parts on the sofa, you turn to face him after your efforts to have yourself sit up straight.

"Jeez, you're about as exciting as a stale piece of bread" You said and he takes the sofa in front of you. For a couple of seconds he doesn't say anything but watch you with a stoic expression.

You interrupt the silence with a cough.

Then it's silent again.

.....

Okay this is too boring.

"Could you laser me again for entertainment—? Since you're such a buzz kill it can't be hard" You asked but he stays quiet, not saying anything to add fuel to your fire of words.

Once you realise what he's doing, you let out a long groan.

"Where's my Katana? I might as well just kill myse—"

"How are you not worried about all of this?" He interrupts you and your body freezes in place just as you're about to reach for your weapons.

"How is it that everyone's going through a fucking crisis and you're just... jacking off and watching Netflix series like somebody's drunk unc" He stares at you, slight glimpse of envy shown in his eyes. You scoff out of disbelief before laughing and wheezing uncontrollably.

"Well, unlike some people— UHMUHMyouUHMUHM , I happen to know how to unwind and have fun. Maybe you should try it sometime. Might loosen that stick up your ass" You shoot him a smile and you could feel your powers growing back the bottom half of your body.

He snarls at you.

"I'm the Homelander. I'm the strongest being ever. I don't have time to unwind"

"I don't know man what kind of strongest being brags about being the strongest?" You said with your back pressed against the cushion of the sofa, your hand just casually toying with your dagger.

"DON'T YOU—"

Just as he stands up to shout at you with his eyes now glowing red, the door to the office opens and you both turn to see it's Sister Sage. She looks at you, somewhat an unsurprised reaction to your torn off body parts.

"Great, at least you're not off running to harass another important client of ours"

"Are we done?" Homelander stands near her, clearly fed up with the time he's spent with you so far.

You groan but this time purposely making it known to everyone in the room.

"Great, now there's two people pinning against me. You know... it wouldn't hurt to tell me what your plan is. Maybe I can help!" You said, putting up your most charming smile.

Sister Sage stares at you... more like judging you but then she had a look of epiphany.

"Actually... hearing you say that... you could be useful... if we can get you to start a hate campaign towards the Starlighters. This could make my part with Firecracker so much easier. And besides! Incels LOVE you. You've practically obtained the based persona. You're the perfect mascot" She said, her eyes sparkling as she's clearly brainstorming now.

Homelander stands there, a plastic grin on his face while he has both his fists placed on his hips.

"What?" He says, his eery grin still on his face. You laugh as you crossed your... baby legs?

"You hear that Johnny? People LOOOVEEE me..." You bragged which instantly ticked him off

"Listen up, you walking STD. The ONLY thing that people love about you is your annoying, obnoxious, unfunny fuck of thinking you're gods gift to comedy"

"Well I did make that comedy christmas movie with Maeve. Rest in peace that poor soul, it's like I can still hear her in my nightmares" You said while pretending to wipe away a tear. He rolls his eyes at you and Sister Sage watches in almost amusement.

Her slight smile making Homelander whip his attention to her immediately.

"Are you fucking enjoying this right now?" He glares and she quickly covers it up with a serious look.

"I'll go prepare the venue" She simply said before walking away. You laugh as you notice Homelander still having that angry look on his face when watching Sister Sage walk away.

"Do you need a snickers little kid? You're not you when you're hunrgy"

⌁ZZZZ⌁

....

"You just had to push my fucking buttons" He said, the red glow in his eyes dimming after lasering a hole through your head. He stares at your corpse that was still for a moment before you flipped him off with both hands.

He rolls his eyes with a defeated sigh before walking out the office.

[The Next Day]

"GOOD MORNING AMERICA!! IT IS ME!! YOUR FAVOURITE SUPERHEROOOOO!!" The crowd goes wild as you make your appearance on stage. Your mic in hand and the other waving at the crowd.

Homelander who's also present at the campaign, watches from the backstage with a stoic expression.

"Now now now! I have been gathered here to talk about the Starlighters! Huh! Yeah?!" You began to shoot finger guns at the crowd when they started booing at the mention of the Starlighters.

"I know!! Terrible people!! Boooo!! Tomato tomato" You chuckled as you walk across the stage.

"I mean how could you cancel the one and only Homelander? He literally has the personality of a wet sock. Dude already has his own demons to battle!! As a matter of fact, what kind of person goes after a father?! It's not our fault your daddy left you Starlight!!" The crowd cheers at your words.

You turn to give Homelander a thumbs up but he just looks at you with an unimpressed look.

The moment your turn of the campaign was over and it was time for Firecracker to do her thing, you happily skipped on your feet to your next destination... but you were soon stopped when you saw Homelander standing in your way. Though it didn't seem to affect at all.

"You should stop frowning if you don't want your face to look like a nut sack" You pat him on the shoulder before walking past him. With your back turned to him, he couldn't help but touch his forehead a bit... then hurrying to catch up to you.

"Where are you going now?"

"Somewhere full of fun that's for sure" You turn the corner and walked a few more before making to your favourite shop.

You stand in front of it while he stands beside you, his expression unreadable.

"A... pet shop?" He was confused but you didn't bother to answer his confusion and decided to just head on in.

He shakes his head out of frustration before entering the place. He's completely frozen in place when he sees you already surrounding yourself with dogs. You laugh almost maniacally as you enjoyed the way the dogs were licking you so joyfully. That was until you notice the way Homelander is staring at you, scorned by your behaviour.

"What? You upset not even dogs love you? God I'm pretty sure not even flies want to come near you" You joked but his attention on you is pulled away when a dog began gnawing at his glove.

He scowls as he decides to move his hand out of the way but the dog ends up jumping on him to try to chew on the glove as if thinking it's a chew toy.

"Nonono— shoo! Go!" He said while sound of your laughter can be heard in the background.

Oh boy...

[The Next Next Day]

How you scored yourself an invite to the Met Gala was unbelievable. But since you were going, Homelander was left with no choice but to accompany you. As you'd expected it, he showed up in his suit. He really doesn't care about this stupid gathering when he has better things to do.

Better things than supervising your ass.

"Make waaaay for your majesty!!" You said loud enough to make your grand entrance known. Cameras all panning towards you in order to take pictures of your outfit.

You were definitely still wearing your iconic red suit but you had worn a sarape over it. As well as a sombrero and the fake moustache to finish the look. And don't forget the guitar now!! Literally nobody knows why you always do shit like this. The theme is literally 'The Garden Of Time'.

"BOOO!!! FUCK YOU DEADPOOL!! YOU'RE A MENACE TO SOCIETY!!" A starlighter said amongst the rest of the protestors. They must have shown up when they heard news of you and Homelander's appearance. You laughed as you waved your hand dismissively at them.

"Oh, come on, don't be so grumpy. I didn't ask to be born this awesome" You said when walking past their group with Homelander following behind you, both hands placed behind his back like he's your bodyguard.

[The Next Next Next Day]

Of course you'd get yourself arrested for doing some crazy shit during the after party. You whine to yourself as you were chained up in the cell. After all you're no regular prisoner but a supe, so they had to treat you like a monster.

Suddenly two armed guards approached your cell, you stared at the cold faces on their faces before inspecting your restraints.

"You know, I always wanted to try bondage, but I didn't think it would be with such an unenthusiastic audience" You said and soon one of them opened the cell to release you from your imprisonment.

You let out a satisfied grunt as you rubbed both of your sore wrists. Just as the two guards left, Homelander came into view. With the annoyed look on his face, you had expected him to at least be happy to see you.

"Why the long face?" You asked when exiting your cell.

"You caused a raid at the after party. What word of do not cause trouble do you not understand?"

"Ahh you people confuse me. Oh Deadpool please rile up the Starlighters! No Deadpool don't punch the Starlighter for spilling your drink on you! Pick a side goddamn it!" You said changing your voice each time when imitating a person.

Homelander rolls his eyes at your attitude.

"I can't wait for this to be over with" Homelander murmured and began walking away. You didn't wait for a second to pass before chasing after him.

"Hey now! I'm literally your only friend left! Maeve got blown into Christmas dust, Noir became jello, The Deep... eh... he's still pretty balls deep inside an octopus, A-Train is busy being in his redemption arc. And Starlight? To be honest I never considered her apart of our friend group" You whispered the last part as though you were gossiping, which you were in the case.

"Lucky me" Homelander said in the most monotone voice it was hard not to miss the absent of emotions in his eyes.

"You're welcome bestie!! #2 bestie though because I've just became friends with Espresso lady last night" You said and quickly took your stuff back from the officer to show the picture of you and Sabrina Carpenter on your phone.

"Ugh..." Clearly not interested, Homelander left you behind but you could care less as you ended up bragging it to the poor police officer just trying to do his job.

[The Next Next Next Next Next Day]

Of course you're a supe so 99% of your job is to have fun while the 1% of your job is saving lives. You laughed as you fought with the group of thieves inside the crowded casino. A feet away stood, you guessed it, Homelander watching with his arms crossed. It looked more like he wanted this to be over with than be concerned for the safety of the civilians.

"Man this place looks great! How did I never knew of this part of the city?" You said looking around the interior design after effortlessly dodging the man's knife which you simply twisted in his hands to stab it right through his chest.

"Can you get away? I'm trying to win here" An old granny spoke when pushing the dead corspe off the gambling machine.

"Oooo... what's this?" Your eyes went wide in awe as you watched her repetitively tap on the button. Years of your life and you never thought of such a divine invention.

"FUCK YOU!!" A thief jumped off a table and onto your back, his knife in hand as he continously stabbed you on the chest.

"Why is it always the bad guys with the lousy gambling habits? Seriously, I could be playing poker right now, and instead, I'm stuck here whooping your asses" You whipped out your gun and shot the man in the face, his grip on you loosening as he falls to the ground.

Clearly knowing they have no chance in winning, they quickly ran but you simply shot each of them from the back until the very last one. With the dead bodies splattered across the casino floor, you spin your pistol around to blow the hot smoke from it.

"They don't call me Deadpool for nothing. Get it? Cause' Dead... pooool" You laughed when motioning at the pool of dead bodies on the ground that some of the bystanders watching and hiding were scared of what to do at the moment.

They also don't call you the insane member of The Seven for nothing.

[The Next Next Next Next Next Next Day]

You yawned with your back pressed on the sofa while Homelander was pretty much glaring daggers down at you. That's because you decided to make yourself feel homey in his room. With how good the leather felt— how could you not?

"Hey Ryan!" You waved at Ryan who awkwardly stops at the mention of his name.

"Hey..." He waves back at you with a nervous smile before hurrying up the stairs.

Even with Homelander pretty much wanting to kill you right now, you still had the mood to stretch all over his sofa. You grunt at the bliss of the feeling. The feeling of relaxation.

"Maaaan! I haven't gotten to rest for the past few days. Makes me wish I was born a rock"

"Why are you even in my room?" He asks, his voice so piercing.

"Eh... Ever head of a sleepover? Don't you wanna put on face masks together and do each other's nails? We ARE besties aren't we? #2 bestie though since Espresso lady—"

"Enough! GET OUT!!" Suddenly he lifts you up and threw you out the window. Ignoring the sounds of screaming and car alarm blaring, he sat down on the sofa with his eyes closed.

Finally... some peace...

[The Next Next Next Next Next Next Next Last Day]

With the responsibility of needing to follow you around to make sure you didn't intervene with Sister Sage's plan, he was starting to lose his sanity, or what's left of it. He sits in his chair with the rest of the members. Apparently you had called for a meeting and you had to specify that it was an important one. About what? Nobody knows.

"Where is Deadpool?" Firecracker asked since everyone had been waiting for almost an hour now. But just as she said that, you arrived, multiple puppies in your arms.

"Hellooooo! Thank you for waiting for me!! I had to drop by the pet shop to adopt these little devils" You said as you handed one to each of them.

"Ooh puppies!" Black Noir said happily when accepting one from you.

"Can you hurry up?" Sister Sage spoke up with the puppy in her hand playfully biting her fingers.

"Yeah yeah don't rush me, don't you know how to respect your elders?" You stood at the center in front of them. Before starting you made sure to clear your throat very thoroughly. All expected you to be serious about what you had to say but suddenly you balled your fists together with your effort of making puppy dog eyes.

"Pleasepleaseplease let me have my freedom back!! I swear I'll be good!!" You begged and Homelander practically stared at you while not giving much care of the puppy gnawing at his glove.

"You know you wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't been constantly breaking all the ties we have with other companies!! Do you know how helpful it could have been if you didn't pull that stunt at the met gala's after party?" Sister Sage said, expressing her frustration towards you but you waved her off dismissively.

"Okay but seriously guys, I appreciate the whole 'let's babysit Deadpool since they're a walking disaster' routine, but it's getting a bit old. I mean, come on, I've been doing the whole vigilante thing for a while now and nobody ever had a problem with it! I was even the host for MTV 2020!!"

"Which they banned you after because you exposed every celebrity there!"

"Not my fault that Ryan Reynolds had a thing for me"

You sighed.

"I'm starting to think you hate me Sage"

"Oh wow I wonder why"

"Nonono it's because I'm so smart that you can't even predict my next moves!!"

"Or maybe, you make the dumbest decisions that even I can't predict them!!"

"Oh please! I'm the Picasso of poor decisions! It's an art form! The only thing predictable is my ability to be unpredictably unpredictable"

Suddenly all attention turned to Homelander the second he let out an annoyed sound.

"... you know what? Fine. Go do your own thing. Bother someone else who gives a shit" He said waving you off and you jumped happily in the air. At the same time, Sister Sage looked at him in disbelief.

"You know they're gonna get in the way of our plans right?"

"Do you wanna babysit them?" He asks which made her stay quiet and simply lean back into her chair.

All of them watched as you happily skipped your way out of the meeting room. As expected, for the next few days you created more problems for everyone to deal with, first you created a line of Deadpool-themed lingerie which the manufacturing had to be shut down because the company you worked with were selling it using fake products, it was so bad that it had influencers calling you out for it.

Then there was the thing where you hired a bunch of hackers to loop baby shark on every TV in America. That nearly got you arrested but Vought being Vought, they managed to bail you out. If it didn't get worse, you also went ahead spraying neon red on the Statue of Liberty and for some reason replaced all billboards with ads featuring a fake upcoming movie called "Deadpool: The Musical".

During those same days, you were away most of the time so when you came back to Vought to find Homelander in his wrecked up room. You decided to sit down beside him on the floor. Everything was destroyed, even the TV screen was smashed but yet it was still playing. You could care less on why he did it. All you cared about was your hungry stomach right now.

"Chimichangas?" You said, offering him one. He looks at you with a blank expression... before taking one and eating it himself.

Eventually you two enjoyed the food peacefully while you leaned your head on his shoulder, a smile on your face and a scowl on his.

[2-dsimp]

Ok so everyone and their mother has yandere CEO/ boss x a secretary/assistant/intern blah blah blah

BUT! Hear me out...what and a yandere assistant x boss darling??

Cw: slight blood/gore, obsessive/possessive tendencies, self-sabotage, lack of self worth,

Synopsis: 【You are the overseer in charge of the finance floor of the company SupeCo. And you happened to be issued a brand you employee who was albeit a greenhorn. But nonetheless passionate in preforming his duties as your assistant. You’ve in the short couple days you’ve grown a soft spot for him. And constantly prayed that he’d make it through his job, in one piece since you discovered that he tended to be accident prone.】

☆*:.｡..｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡..｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡..｡.:

Yandere assistant! That’s always in attention whenever his darling boss is ready to put him to work. He’s practically twitching from getting withdrawals of receiving less than the amount of orders he’d like to have from you.

Yandere Assistant! Whose mind is buzzing 24/7 and is utterly pathetic all by his lonesome. And craves for you to throw whatever tasks you’ve got at him, anything at all, to satisfy his dream of being your personal lap dog.

Yandere assistant! Who loves hearing your voice calling out for his support from across the office hall. He just cannot relate to how his other coworkers cower at their names being announced by their own superiors. Since you were the best in his humblest opinion. And the only one he’d deem to be of importance to be more precise.

Yandere Assistant! That subtly does self sabotage if only to hog your time, in making you giving him lengthy instructions. On what to do since he clearly couldn’t fathom how to print out a piece of paper.

Yandere Assistant! Who swears that he’s not incompetent on purpose. But it’s just that he adores the way you’re so kind with your words. And oh so patient when it comes to correcting a member of your staff. Even going as far as to touch him to show exactly how to maneuver the printer. In short all of your lovely gestures made him jumpy. As he was sweating bullets trying not to turn into a feral degenerate and bend you over the broke ass printer to properly “use it”.

“Tem? Temothy~? Hello? I’m sorry Am I going too fast for you or—“

“Ah nonono absolutely not! Y-you’re fine B-boss I c-could hear you j-just fine!”

Your new hire assistant, Temothy, stuttered as he blinked out of whatever daydream he got afflicted with. Fixing you a mousy smile as he haphazardly fixed his messy overgrown bangs which obscured half of his face from view. You noted that He always had a soft spoken voice along with his habitual stutter speech pattern. Whilst he fidgeted a bit underneath your explicit worrisome expression as you fretted over his wellbeing like a mother hen.

“I only need to cut these stacks of paper for y-you with this cutter r-right? I’ll get on T-that right a-away!”

He managed in a squirrelly tone as he shakily grabbed ahold of the paper cutter. Lining up some blank pieces alongside the dotted lines with an unsteady hand.

It was his first couple days on the job and you found him to be quite the ditzy klutz but an endearing one nonetheless. It was refreshing how eager he is to always lend a helping hand even after he had just gotten off his shift. Which made you feel bad to ask him to come in to work when it was his day off since some of your employees decided not to come in for their shift.

“Wait Temothy dear you’re holding it the wrong way—!”

“Ouch! Oh my stars I’m t-terribly sorry B-boss! I got it all fuckin b-bloody! Ah paper towels… where’s the paper towels?”

You couldn’t believe your eyes and what you were hearing. Was this man seriously worried about how he dirtied the cutter station to which he earnestly tried to clean. While the skin on his palm was sliced open from pinky to thumb. And was bleeding rapidly as bloody rivets ran down his inner wrist.

“Temothy forget about the cutter and papers okay? You don’t need to worry bout none of that. What we need to do is patch you up first and foremost”

You cooed as you briskly took his uninjured hand in yours and ushered him to your office where you always had a health kit stored underneath your desk. Completely missing how his breathing slowed and his wide eyes dilated into small heart pinpricks.

“Y-yes Boss…thank you for c-caring I’ll be sure to return this d-debt”

His usual timid expression darkened into something more depraved as a small fanged smile made its way onto his chapped lips. Of which he licked as he gave an experimental squeeze to your hand only to shiver in delight when you responded back in kind.

No one had ever been this kind to him, due to his bad luck he’s always the type to be scoffed at without as much as a second glance. Hell it was a miracle that he even landed this job as your assistant in the first place. But now that he was here he intended to stay permanently and serve you for the rest of your days as your loyal assistant. Whether you liked it or not, you couldn’t ever get rid of him not when you’ve already gave him your hand to hold near in dear to his heart.

[seattlesellie]

imagine letting ellie hit for the first time and all she can see is your stuffed animals and plushies surrounding your bedd😭

an: i know i wrote something similar to this a looooong while ago already but i really love it cause it’s so cute !! dni if you hate fun and if ur a plushie lover i love u a lot k bye 💗

warnings: ellies a little mean 🙄 but shes so cute.

♡ firstly, you’d probably be mortified before you both tiptoed into your room. you’ve been sweetly (but fervently) making out on the living room couch for about ten whole minutes already. when ellie bounced you up on her thigh — and you moaned out her name, she huffed a breathy and teasing “oh, yeah?”, and you knew you were gone. you had constant battles within the realm of your head about needing to wait for “the right time”, but for some reason, with ellie, the right time seemed to be all the time. you’ve nearly let her have it in the backseat of her beat up honda, but you came to your senses pretty quickly (or you banged up your head on her inner roof which kind of made things awkward), and decided to actually wait.

♡ ellie pushes you up against the door, her knee snug between your thighs. you can feel her on your heat, and you’re pretty sure she can feel the actual heat on you. when ellie gives a slight swivel to the metal doorknob, you panic completely and shakily puff out a long held breath. “nono, my rooms… uh, untidy. s’messy, we can’t”, ellie raises a brow (and it tweaks a little because she’s just as nervous and it’s so cute), she grants you a little guileful smirk, “i don’t really care, so” — and as soon as she mutters that “so”, ellie opens the door and you shriek.

♡ at a full tilt, you try to cover up her eyes with your hands, shakily whispering “nonono, told you it’s messy, you’re being so rude!” but ellie — ever the speedster, pushes them off. when she’s faced with the hoard of plushies, sitting cozily on your bed like brave, plucky little soldiers, ellie seems entirely… amused. “so uhhh…” you stutter out, and ellie lets out an actual wheeze. she’s trying to cover up her stupid laugh and her smile by attempting to form it into a line, and you budge her forcefully on the shoulder and she barely even moves. “you didn’t tell me you had guests over, babe”, she turns to look at you — and you’re trying very hard not to throw an actual tantrum. you roll your eyes, and she takes your hands between her’s and gives them two chaste kisses. “okay, okay… didn’t mean to offend you…” she gulps down that damn laugh again, “just should’ve gave me a warning before i came in here trying to fuck y—“, your eyes nearly pop out of your head, “ellie!” you warn, and your voice goes nearly three octaves higher and now ellie’s fully just laughing at you. you furrow your brows and cock your head to the side. “well, technically, you’re the guest. they live here, so”

♡ “well… technically” ellie mimics and mocks, swallowing a small throaty giggle. you stare at her for a moment, giving her your best “i’m warning you — this is your last chance!” eyes, and ellie takes that warning very seriously, (because perhaps she’d been dying to fuck you), lifts her hands up in the air as if it’s to sign that she “gave up”, and shuts her mouth. “you done?” you question, raising your brows. “you’re the guest here, because they sleep with me every night, and you don’t” you smile impishly, followed by a sweet, satisfied little “hm”. ellie smirks and shakes her head, “every night, huh? you tryin’ to make me jealous?” then, she points at one of the plushies. “cause that little fucker over there is trying me, shit— i think his eye’s ripped off, what the actual fuck do you do with your dolls?!”

♡ out of amused anger, you try and push her up against the wall and she lets you. she hits it with a thud, and she rests her veiny hands on your waist and gives you a squeeze. you whimper, and she grabs your waist and pulls you closer. you try composing yourself, “y… you’re just jealous cause they get to sleep with me and you don’t”, but it all comes out of your lips too shaky and too sweet to be let known as teasing. ellie chuckles, and grabs the back of your neck. her lips are simply hovering over yours, and you let out a shaky breath and close your eyes. “open” she instructs, and you open them so slowly she nearly melts away like an ice cream cone in the middle of august. “just answer this one question i have, ‘kay?” she raps in her husky voice that makes you simply shudder. you hum, and she smirks. “do they fuck you every night too?”, she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and licks. not to seduce, simply as a casual gesture. nevertheless, it does seduce. “cause i might need to, uh…” and then — ellie places a small peck on your lips that you’re simply too eager not to try and follow up, but she meanly backs away. she chuckles and brings her head forward again, and lets out of a shaky breath. “might need to fuck them up, y’know? rip off their insides, stomp on ‘em, give them a nice little shake and —“ you cut her off with a whine, and her eyes nearly roll back. she takes your bottom lip between her top one and suckles and kisses you so deeply, “yeah fuck it, get on the bed, c’mon” — she pushes you forward between whimpers and more whines and you land with a soft thud, one of the plushies falls down on the floor.

♡ she parts your legs with her own, earning herself a sweet breathy gasp from you, and whilst she’s hanging messily off of the mattress— she kicks the plushie up on the bed, so it lands a mere centimeter from where it originally was. she can tease you all she wants, but it’s very soon that she memorizes all of their names. “do i need to cover up their eyes or are they used to this stuff?”, she knows they’re not used to it, at all actually, but you shake your head from side to side. she grabs both of your cheeks between her calloused fingers, gives them a forceful little squeeze that makes you moan, and looks up at one of them. “sorry for what you’re about to witness here, buddy”

♡ needless to say that ellie wasn’t a “guest” no more after that day.

[soireegurl]

[18:41]

"Mmm! Mmm!"

You tried to scream but your mouth was covered by a tape.

You tried to free yourself from the rope that tied your limps but it was too tied.

You didn't know how you got here or why you got here.

You have always been nice to everyone and you had never make enemies... Only people who were jealous of your beauty, but that was long ago in high school, there's absolutely no reason why someone will kidnap you.

Suddenly the door of the room opened and light shone into the dark room as you closed your eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness.

"I see that you are awake baby..."

A familiar and manly voice echoed in the room.

"Are you hungry? I can get you some food... You have been unconscious for 2 days... I might have hit you a little hard... Sorry about that... First time doing this, didn't know how much strength to use.. haha..."

He said as if kidnapping someone is nothing serious.

"Mmm!"

You struggled and signalled him to free you.

"Oh yah, let me help you with that..."

He came closer and took off the tape on your mouth, but he didn't remove the ropes.

"Park Sunghoon! What are you doing?!"

That was the first thing you said when you mouth was free.

"Baby... Isn't this obvious? What I am doing?"

He said and let out a little smile.

"Kidnapping me? Seriously? We already divorced!"

Yes... That's right, you and Sunghoon just divorced a month ago, it was agreed by both of you.

"Divorce? Nonono... Don't say that baby. Why would you say that?"

He hush you and put his index finger on your lips.

"What are you up to now? We are divorced... And you agreed to it.."

You didn't care about Sunghoon and continued.

Sunghoon let out a sigh and removed his finger and said.

"Yes.. I did... But... I regret it now..."

"Regret? What do you mean?"

Sunghon sighed and answered.

"I love you Y/n... So much... So much that it hurts..."

"Hahaha... "

You let out a bitter laughter.

"No you don't... You don't love me Sunghoon... "

"You know how we started... It was a arranged marriage..."

You can't help but to feel hurt. It was arranged for Sunghoon but not you.

"But you love me right?"

"Yeah... I did... I did... But remember what you said to me?"

"I will never love you... This is just an arranged marriage. "

Sunghoon's words replayed in your head.

"You remember what was the reason I gave when I wanted a divorce right?"

[flashback]

"Sunghoon... Let's get a divorce..."

"Why so sudden?"

"You are always at work... You never spend time with me... "

Sunghoon went silent for awhile.

"I'm sorry for that... If a divorce is better for you.... Then I'll agree to it."

[end of flashback]

"Yes... I know what I did wrong Y/n... I really do... That's why I regret now... I know this is very late but this one month without you was hell..."

"I got used to how dinner will always be warm and ready in the kitchen whenever I get home. I got used to how you will prepare everything for me... I got used to your presence. This one month without you made me realise I have developed feelings for you... I can't leave without you Y/n..."

After hearing Sunghoon's words, you didn't feel any happiness... But just more sadness.

"So you are use to having a maid. "

"NO! nonono... You got me all wrong Y/n... I just... I just miss you Y/n... Can we please start again? I promise I will change. I will spend time with you, buy you gifts. And give you everything... Just... Just come back to me... Please."

Tears fell out of your eyes as Sunghoon spoke...

You have dreamt of Sunghoon doing all of those for you when you were married... But he never did... All he did was to tell you that he's busy... He has no time...

Everything is too late...

"Sunghoon... We are better off as strangers... You are just not use to it now... One day you will eventually find someone that is the best for you... "

"Nonono... You are the best for me Y/n... Please... "

"It's too late Sunghoon..."

Sunghoon was crying and his face was filled with tears.

You can tell that he really is sorry... But we can't turn back time... What is done is done...

To be honest, you still love Sunghoon... But... You didn't want to risk your future anymore.

"Let me go Sunghoon... You will find someone better..."

You don't know what you said that made Sunghoon sudden so angry.

"NO! SHUT UP!"

He shouted and stood up, looking down at you.

You froze at the sudden loud voice and the look on Sunghoon's face.

His eyes were red, his fists was clenched, his veins were popping out of his neck.

"S.. Sunghoon..."

You stuttered.

"Don't ever say that again Y/n... Don't say anything about leaving me... I will go crazy Y/n... And I don't know what I will do..."

"Su... Sunghoon... Why are you acting like this?"

You are actually scared... You have never seen Sunghoon like that before..

But you neglected one thing... He kidnapped you... That is enough to show his mental health... It's... Not that great.

"You will stay with me right?"

"What...?"

"Say yes... Say yes Y/n..."

"I... "

"SAY YES! SAY THAT YOU WILL STAY WITH ME!"

He suddenly shouted which made you shake in fear.

"Yes... Yes... I will stay with you... Please don't act like this..."

Hearing your answer, Sunghoon immediately changed his expression. He knelt down and cup your face.

"Sorry, did I scare you baby? I'm sorry I didn't mean to..."

He looks sweet and normal like how he was before... But still, you couldn't help but to shiver at his touch.

"Hmm... Let me see... When is a good date to get married? Let's decide that together okay? We will have a happy family together. With as many children as you want. "

"I'll make sure you feel loved Y/n..."

Thanks for 100 followers guys! I have been writing for about 2 months now! I'm really happy that many people enjoy reading my work and got to know so many good writers and anons! I will work hard and improve my writings! Thank you once again!

[estxkios]

HONEY ੈ✩‧₊˚

bill kaulitz x fem!reader

summary : after a party both you and your boyfriend are tired, but when he needs a back massage boy will you give it to him 😭

warnings : fluff

--------------------------------------------------------

your eyes slowly fluttered open, you looked around the dirty room, solo cups and streamers scattered everywhere. you would usually wake up in your room, next to your boyfriend or in his arms. but no, today you were laying flat across the couch.

as you became more aware of your surroundings you realized you werent only not in your bed, but you werent in your pajamas either. you were in a tight black dress, and none of your jewlery was taken off.

"fuck.." you muttered, readjusting your position on the couch, staring at the fabric of your dress as you tried to remember how you had ended up sleeping without the comfort of your blankets.

you knew you had hosted your birthday party yesterday in you and your boyfriends house, but you couldn't remember how many drinks you had.

and although you wanted to keep digging into what had happened, the harder you though the more intense the pain became in your temples. you hissed and threw your head back onto the arm of the couch, closing your eyes once again.

you were on the edge of falling back asleep when you heard your boyfriends steps nearing the couch. you knew they were his steps because the sound of his slippers squeaking against the floor always found a way to wake you up, wether it be him kicking them off to get back into bed with you, or simply him putting them on.

you opened your eyes half way, but soon they widened when you saw bill about to lay on you.

before you could stop him, he layed on top of you, giggling like a kid.

all of his body weight was pressed onto you, which made you squeeze out a sound that made him start giggling even harder.

he wrapped his arms around your torso, placing his chin on your chest and looking at you through his pierced brows, he could tell something was off.

you groaned. you usually wouldn't be annoyed, but with the mixture of hangover and lack of sleep, you werent having it.

you were about to drift back to sleep, when bill put his head under your chin, letting out a loud, obnoxious groan.

"bill." you said sternly while you deadpanned at him. he widened his eyes at your tone

"what?!" he said in a high-pitched voice as he lifted his head to look at you, taken aback when you were already looking at him.

“seriously, what do you want?” you paused and looked at his big brown eyes, his makeup was smudged under his eyes, presumably from being to drunk to take his makeup off. “bill,” you started again, but he cut you off.

“you. i want youu.” he muttered into the crook of your neck.

“now..?” you said in a tone of voice laced with confusion and grogginess.

“nonono!” bills head shot up and shook at an alarmingly fast rate. “not like that. i just need you right now..” he trailed off, straddling your waist before sitting up.

“oh, alright.” mimicking his movements you also sat up, still gazing into his glossy eyes every so often as you say across from him on the leather couch.

“can you just pleaseee help me out? i’m not the only one who got totally hammered last light you know.” he said the last part of his scentence with the smirk.

you groaned and let out a fake cry, already knowing what was to come. “fine.”

bill made a celebratory noise and turned his back towards you, slowly adjusting his position so he was laying on his stomach.

“are you ready now princess?” you joked.

“yes i am.” he said in a girly tone, raising his eyebrows as he watched you straddle his lower back.

you moved bills hair off of his back so you could have a clear massaging workspace, purposefully scratching his scalp as you so.

you lifted yourself off of his torso slightly so that you could lift his shirt up.

bill let out a sigh as you gripped the fabric and rolled it up to his armpits, exposing his back.

you looked at him and he smiled.

god, he mustve known you didnt wanna massage him, because that smile can win anything.

you know it, and he does too, because with that you started kneading your thumbs into his back.

as you rhythmically massaged out all of the tension from last nights events, bill slowly grew more and more tired under you.

you rolled your hands against his lower back one more time before whispering,

"bill?"

no response, not even a slight movement or even a change in his breathing pattern.

he was dead asleep.

and you graciously took this opportunity to take a rest too after the labor (back massage😒) bill had put you through.

you straightened your legs out, intertwining them with bills, pushing him slightly towards the edge of the couch so you could lay next to him.

you pulled his shirt back so that his back was covered, and layed next to him, still halfway ontop of him, but the both of you could care less.

and with that, you grabbed a lock of his hair and slowly twisted it until you were on the brink of sleep.

"i love you." your boyfriend mumbles under his breath,

"love you too."

and although you couldnt see, he had the biggest grin plastered on his face.

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1 / 16 drafts done !! 🗣️

[married-to-google-translater]

Could I request platonic yandere Diasomnia with a female first year reader who is Silver's sister that has a major crush on Epel

Yandere Diasomnia (platonic)

Lilia found you at the same time she found Silver.

You were twins.

But when you were little you often got sick.

And that would be dangerous for the baby.

Maybe because of this, Lilia would become overprotective.

He wouldn't want to lose you.

But the world would be a dangerous place.

Silver does not remember these events.

But Malleus would remember.

You two got along well even as kids.

And Malleus wouldn't want to lose you.

Dragons don't like to lose things…

Your childhood would be isolated.

You often spend time only with your family.

And you also went to study NRC like others.

Lilia must have obtained a special permit for you.

That would be weird.

You wouldn't have seen so many foreign people before.

But "Fortunately" Sebek is in the same class as you.

Watching… protecting you.

Sebek quickly noticed that you behaved differently around Epel.

He doesn't recognize that it's infatuation…

But Lilia surely does when Sebek explains the situation.

This would be an absolute nonono

Lilia would be shocked that his little daughter would have a crush. Especially if it wasn't someone who lived in Briar Valley. He couldn't allow this. Because if the relationship works you move away from him. Would definitely try to sabotage the relationship and make things difficult.

Silver would understand your feelings but he would still be worried. He would be your big brother and wouldn't want anyone to hurt you. Of course, he thinks that Lilia is going too far. But he wouldn't try to stop it. Because he's sure it's in your best interest.

Malleus would be shocked. He would really consider you his little sister. Malleus has always been close to you. And seeing you with others would make him jealous.

Sebek would be sure that no one would be worthy of you. After all, you are Lilia's adopted daughter. He would definitely try to aggressively push everyone away from you. Would also take your protection most seriously. Would also try to pressure Epel to reject you if you confess their feelings.

[worldstarz]

shinjiro defends your honor against stupei

pairing: shinjiro aragaki x fem!reader (sees member)

summary: your leader wants to show you a video of the stone-cold shinjiro aragaki getting into a debate with junpei over ranking the girls. he gets very passionate over you.

tags: kinda shitpost ; feat. junpei + protag ; not proofread ; spoiler-free ; mutual pining

notes: just got to october 4th! wrote this to cope! i am not okay! also protag is called leader bc im not looking up his name to avoid spoilers. i’ll edit when i finish the game !!

———

“so if you press this button, the footage should start playing,” the leader points to the console, directing you on how to play the recordings. other than for meetings and before missions, you’ve never been in the command room before. hell, you didn’t even know there were cameras in the building until now.

the specific recording your leader wanted to show you is labeled ‘september 23 - lounge’. as you press the play button, the lights of the command room dim down as the video begins to play on the screen.

———

as expected, the recording shows the first floor lounge. shinjiro and junpei sit on the same couch, but at different ends.

“so, aragaki-senpai, what’s your ranking of all the girls in the building?” junpei leans back, hands behind his head. there is a considerable amount of distance between them, both physically and interpersonally, and junpei decided talking about the ladies is the best way to bridge that distance.

“why would i care?” shinjiro scoffs, his crossed arms not helping the already-tense air.

“oh, come on! with so many beautiful ladies here, you’ve gotta have a ranking by now! like, who’d you rather be alone in a room with? or see in a bikini?” junpei begins listing off the girls in an attempt to convince shinjiro to dig deep into his thoughts and desires. “there’s kirijo-senpai, with that air of elegance and maturity; yuka-tan, a pretty chick very popular among guys our age; fuuka, an all-around cutie; [name], who is… hm…” he didn’t even reach aigis before running out of adjectives. trying to think over his very limited dictionary, he briefly hesitates.

shinjiro visibly perks up upon hearing the last name listed. noticing this, junpei exaggerates his struggle to think.

“hm… what is there about [name]…” junpei rubs his chin, staring at his senpai as his face morphs from an expression of indifference to one of annoyance.

“you’re kidding me, right?” aragaki scowls, sitting up slightly. “you seriously can’t think of anything for [name]?”

“well, she’s just… eh…” junpei trails off. “i wouldn’t rank her very high.”

“i know you’re a moron, but i didn’t know you could be this much of a dumbass,” he leans forward. without even raising his voice, the simple action caused an air of intimidation around him that could be felt even through the screen. “the hell do you mean ‘you wouldn’t rank her very high’? are you fucking blind?”

“nonono, man, she’s attractive-“ junpei frantically tries to explain himself, backtracking on his original plan of getting a reaction out of shinjiro because finding out his senpai’s type was not worth getting his ass beat. but, aragaki continues.

“don’t tell me you’d rank her lower than a goddamn robot!” this was possibly the most passionate he’s ever been, and it was over a casual conversation of ranking the girls in their dormitory building. “she better be in at LEAST your top three or i’m mopping the floors with your ass.”

“no, dude, she’s in my top three, i swear!” junpei’s attempts at damage control were getting more desperate. “she’s probably number one!”

“…number one?” aragaki repeats, as the two sit in a heavy silence for a moment. “you don’t deserve to have her in your number one spot,” he mutters.

“…what?”

“i SAID you don’t DESERVE to have her in your number one spot!!”

“OKAY THEN SHE’S NUMBER TWO!!!” junpei raises his hands up in an act of surrender. “she’s second! [name] is second!”

———

“…”

unable to listen to anymore, you hurriedly hit the pause button. you feel hot, and as the lights turn back on, you make a futile attempt to cover your burning face with your hands.

your leader clears his throat. “so, should i set you two up on a date, or-“

“no!” you exclaim, cutting him off with a wide-eyed expression on your face. “no! no.” you calm yourself down with a deep breath, trying not to imitate junpei’s desperation shown in the video. trying to collect yourself, you add, “that won’t be necessary. shinjiro didn’t even say his own ranking, so all of that probably could have meant nothing. absolutely nothing. right.”

“i mean, if you finish watching-“

once again burying your face into your hands, you yell into your palms to cut him off. a typical response from a teenage girl finding out her crush laid his pride on the line to advocate for her attractiveness.

the leader, ignoring your wishes, presses the play button.

———

“where would you put [name] then?” junpei asks, his signature shit-eating grin on his face. the video seems to have skipped ahead, as evidenced by junpei being much more calm than earlier.

shinjiro hesitates.

the quality is a bit fuzzy, but you can see junpei having a perplexed expression as he leans in to get a better look at shinjiro’s face, who turns his head away.

“are you…” junpei squints, then his eyes widen in surprise. “are you blushing??”

“the hell? no way i am!” shinjiro turns his body away.

“oh man, you should’ve just said you like her!” junpei grins, trying to be a supportive bro!

“i-i don’t even think of her like that! just lay it off!”

“so, what about her, huh?” his excitement shows in his voice. “she’s pretty cute and all. oh, those eyes are gorgeous-“

“i said lay it off!” shinjiro exclaims, and junpei jumps.

“ok man, ok! that’s my bad!” junpei backs up, and the awkward silence returns once more. without saying a word, shinjiro gets up and leaves.

———

at this point, you’ve sat down. the leader turns around to look at you, your face buried into a pillow. your ears are practically glowing red.

“my offer earlier about setting you two up still stands-“ he begins, but as you did before, you cut him off.

“shut up!!!!” you scream into the pillow, kicking your feet. you lift your face from the pillow to meet his gaze.

he can’t help but laugh. “should i get yukari? she probably knows more.”

admitting defeat, you nod.

[caitlynskitten]

A different follow-up to Wednesday cheering up Enid with scissoring.

— During a break. —

Enid: Hey babe, so like, I’m really enjoying scissoring.

Wednesday: As am I. It is quite invigorating.

Enid: Totes agreed! But, uh… what’s the hack saw for?

Wednesday: Ah. I am loath to admit that I was… less than entirely confident in my expertise at this endeavor.

Enid: Uh huh?

Wednesday: *fidgets* I felt the need to bring it as a reassurance, in case we needed it at the end.

Enid: Why?? Why would we ever need a saw for this?

Wednesday: Tanaka’s instructions were clear. I am to scissor you until you ‘come apart.’ So I thought…

Enid: Babe NO. That’s obviously not what Yoko— why did you think that??

Wednesday: Why wouldn’t I? Any respectable pair of kitchen scissors comes apart for ease of cleaning. See? *pulls scissors apart*

Enid: OH! Oh dang. Okay. I can see it. Yikes.

Wednesday:

Enid:

Wednesday: Does… this mean you will come apart without assistance?

Enid: No! Not like that!

Wednesday: Then has my performance been inadequate?

Enid: NO! Nonono. Babycakes, you’ve been perfect.

Wednesday: *stares forlornly at the dismantled scissors* 🥺

Enid: *pinches bridge of nose* Gawddamit. I seriously need to have a talk with Yoko about how she words her advice.

— — —

Image of those exact scissor.

Pic of Tojiro-Pro “Come Apart” Kitchen Scissors. They are amazing. Totally BIFL.

Enid calling Wednesday babycakes is EVERYTHING. Also I love how naive Wednesday is and how much of an asshole Yoko is 😭😭😭😭 The next morning when Wednesday confronts Yoko about what happened, the vampire can’t help but just burst out laughing.